#also with a healthy dose of wtf is this person trying to say to me? u r saying words and i dont kno what theyre directed at

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[wannaeatramyeon]

You really said that you don't have any plans of writing any other series and then dropped this ✨masterpiece✨ (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

BISHHHH! IT WAS SOOOO GOOD. I WAS SKEPTICAL AT FIRST BUT THEN AGAIN IT WAS YOU WRITING. I LOVED IT 💜💜💜

also can I be 🕊️ anon?

Hope yall don't mind me responding to these in one go. Also please note my anon tagging is terrible but I do remember all my anons! I think I'll probably do this batch format moving forward? I SUCK at conversations through the inbox but also a) don't want to be rude 😅 and b) clog up people's dash.

+ Tip - filter 'ramen asks' tags in your settings if you're just here for the fics.

Non fic-request asks answered: 7 (you might want to check if your asks are here anons!)

🕊️ anon! Thank you for reading! You are being much too kind. I really had no plans to write anything long and uh... the nthis happened. It's ALWAYS good to have a healthy dose of skepticism though haha. I. I just. Idk how I feel about my longer fics at all but I'm glad you're enjoying them!

Anon?! Ah that's so sweet to say and I'm glad my fics are accessible for you!I don't struggle so much with focusing, but there are some formats and fonts that I really find difficult to read. Give me a shout especially with regards to format/font side if things ever deviate with my writing and I'll try to correct it!

Goo brainrot anon, you know who you are with your exquisite taste 🫶

And on my other response that Goo brings out our feral sides, and imo also has the most feral simps... Would be hilarious to watch you guys in a cagematch for Goo's affection. And you KNOW he would love that. 2A style.

I'm sorry this is actually our sweet Ying's/@mymxnfgh hc which you can read here. I don't want to just steam roll ahead with her idea especially if she reads HTF! Hope you understand.

Babe, I'm completely with you. I wrote this about Eli but really to go on about WTF is happening with his character and plot. Fuck 5A man.

Answering this like... a month late but we're still waiting lol. YES THE ADIDAS SAMBAS! I saw the theory too. I'm not 100% sure if Jake fits but I will just take whatever crumbs of my No.1 green flag PTJ will give!

Anon I am so so sorry for my super late response. Have you watched the PTJ video from a while ago where he talks about Samuel's charming chest? I think you may like that.

Anon, your opinion on Vasco is perfectly valid AND CORRECT. Altho our lil cinnamonroll is at least getting a personality lately so I can't be too mad.

[tardis-goes-thvooo-ooosss]

#sorry but some people in the comments are being pretty dumb#if you can't imagine fun stuff that a character with disabilities could do in a FANTASY world where almost everything could work-#-then that's a you and your limited imagination problem lmao#and like stuff like magic curses are a thing and maybe those could be one of the causes for disabilities in a magic world#or magic people that were born with it and for some mystical reason it cannot be cured#also mental health can be tied a lot with what type of magic a person uses or how limited they are in using it#etc#....

#like at least try to think of some basic ideas without it all being 'magic is magic therefore everyone is 100% healthy'#also it probably would take a lot of mastery of magic and medical and anatomical knowledge to not mess up a healing spell on a disabled-#-person or even just on a sick person (like 'magic sickness' and how it can affect different magic species is a concept that exists)#so ya... just some thoughts

#also mages still age & die naturally in most fantasy stories either they live a normal Human life spam or centuries or millennia so...#and still deteriorate physically because of natural aging... like ever heard of and/or seen the magician with a huge white beard and a-#-body sized magic staff that they also use as support to walk... like that's their iconic image#for not saying that this type of concepts make the world building of the magic system and how it can & cannot work more complex

#also who says that if there is a mage that has the mana & abilities & knowledge to heal almost everything or even every disability &-#-sickness that they would want to/can heal everyone; what if they are kept prisoneer because of said ability; what if they use their powers#-too much they loose their special abilities or risk dying; or they simply don't give a shit about people maybe they only care about power;#maybe they can't even use their powers on themselves; maybe everytime they heal someone they get sick

#like imagination people IMAGINATION#also all fantasy worlds have limitations in them even if every single character in it has magic so wtf are some of you people on#the only way a 'perfect world' like that could work and be interesting storywise is by it being corrupted/a facade - a dystopia#also class disparity and discrimination also still exist in fantasy worlds and it's used quite a lot in these types of stories#like a mage still needs access to education to learn spells and how to do them properly...#for not saying that usually mages are divided by classes like the healing class or battle class or wtv also because they chose to-#-specialize in a certain area just like a lot of professionals irl do - like an engineer cannot do what a doctor can duh#like really just use your brain a little#also this creates conflict between different & diverse charcaters from all types of backgrounds - which can make things more interesting (tags by @lov3mayfly aka me, lol)

I woke up to this post and ranted like a idiot dosed on sleep in the tags, lmao. I only slept like 2 hours.

But seriously, wtf is up with some people?? There are so many ways disability can work in a magic world and people just decide to completely ignore it or not even consider the possibility that people with disabilities existing in a fantasy world can make sense and it's an interesting premise in many facets... like, way to lack imagination dude (sorry not sorry).

Also, have these people heard the saying that fiction does mirror reality, and a lot...

Like, seriously what are these people thinking? (besides ableism... also, someone or a character being disabled doesn't mean they are incapable or not interesting or badass fighters or anything else a abled neurotypical person/character can be... like, I literally saw comments saying that "a disabled knight would be lame"... bitch, tf do you mean?? Have you ever heard of people/characters adapting to their limitations, learning and putting in the effort to be what they want, every Human can do that...)

God forbid disabled people have representation in fantasy to these people...

This really pissed me off in twitter recently. Disabled people belong in every type of setting. If we aren't there, your worldbuilding sucks.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Goodness)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Okay! This episode is a real slice of healthy family dynamics, not triggering in any way. [Uh if this is your first Restless Rewatch: that is sarcasm, dear readers]

Goodbye to You, Goodbye to Everything We Knew

Nie Huaisang asks why Meng Yao has to leave and Meng Yao says "I killed a guy without permission, so your brother fired me." 

Ha ha ha ha no he doesn't. But he does give Nie Huaisang a sweet, sad smile; he seems touched by NHS's distress. 

Meng Yao carefully removes Nie Huaisang's hands from his shoulders and bows to him, wordlessly signaling the change in their relationship from intimate friends to formal strangers, while Nie Huaisang looks crushed. 

They will return to intimate friendship in the future, but falsely. Meng Yao believes that truly loving a person can include destroying their family and using them as an instrument in your murder plots as long as you don't directly harm them.  Nie Huaisang eventually learns to use people just as brutally, but he doesn't lie to himself about what he's doing. This farewell may be the last harmless moment between these friends. 

Jiang Cheng is distressed by what's going on, while Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and watches, fully in Sherlock Holmes mode, instead of his more usual concerned-for-my-friend mode. This may signal mistrust of Meng Yao, who refused his initial attempt at friendship, and not in a sexy, slice-your-face-off way.  Or it may mean that he's reserving judgement on a complicated family situation. He maintains his uncharacteristic reserve through the entire encounter. 

(more behind the cut!)

Nie Huaisang runs in and asks his brother WTF happened. Nie Mingjue says "he killed my subordinate without permission, when he knows perfectly well power must flow from the ruler; it's like he didn't even read that Foucault book I gave him."

Ha ha ha actually he just yells at his brother, as if NHS doesn’t have his own relationship with Meng Yao after being wonder twink powers with him for probably a couple of years now. NHS has to sit and process his loss and confusion in silence.

As a younger sibling who would make friends with my older siblings' girlfriends and then lose those friends if they broke up, for reasons having nothing to do with why I liked their girlfriends, I super feel Nie Huaisang's pain here.

OTOH, older siblings are entitled to have break ups and not explain themselves to anyone besides their lover because that's the nature of intimacy. The moral is, uhh...don't have a family curse that makes you unreasonably angry. 

Jiang Cheng steps up to advocate for Meng Yao, because Meng Yao is injured, and because Jiang Cheng is actually a born leader who knows better than to throw away a useful subordinate. For example, even when Wei Wuxian is at his drunkest and most defiant, Jiang Cheng tries to reform him, not kick him out, only drawing the line at having unpopular zombie friends.

Wei Wuxian continues to keep his mouth shut, waiting for Nie Mingjue to calm down, and speaking only about the tactical situation. He clearly knows there's more to this story but he's pretty good at keeping his head down in a family ruckus, and we're about to learn why.

Yunmeng Town

The Yunmeng bros go home to Lotus Pier, where they are greeted in town with bows, smiles, and free stuff.

We've mostly been seeing them in their roles within the cultivation community, where Jiang Cheng is grumpy and anxious, and Wei Wuxian is sassy and iconoclastic. Here among common people, they are both charming, friendly, and polite, like the imaginary good kind of gentry.

They hear the news from a local lotus seller that the small clans are coming to the Jiang Clan for shelter, but that otherwise everything's ok, which doesn't sound like everything is ok at all. He gives Wei Wuxian a giant bag of lotuses for his sister to make soup from.

Home to Lotus Pier

All the disciples practicing in the courtyard at Lotus Pier are excited to see them, and one girl goes running to tell Jiang Yanli. Thanks to the admittedly beautiful design of Lotus Pier, she is running for a long time.

A long, long time. Getting around on all these insane walkways must be a real drag if you're not the flying sort of cultivator.

Discipline and Punish

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian immediately go and kneel while they wait for their official punishment. Jiang Cheng is kinda worried about the punishment and Wei Wuxian is like, I'm good at being punished, just let me do it. 

Much later, and for a really long fucking time

He also tries to get Jiang Cheng to stop being mad, even giving him skritches while he says they should be brothers after they die.

Which they will, as it happens, although Jiang Cheng after the Wen torture is only mostly golden-core dead, while WWX dies for real.

When Jiang Fengmian shows up Jiang Cheng starts to explain that they were with Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian hushes him; he is still keeping the secret of the Yin Iron. Although he's keeping it in exactly the manner that a teenager keeps their weed stash secret: immediately tell literally every teen friend about it, but keep it extra secret from everybody's parents. 

Happy Families Are All Alike

Now we get to meet Yu Ziyuan, who is generally styled Madame Yu but who I'm going to call by her name just as if she was a male character. More on that concept in a minute. She rolls up looking, smelling, feeling like a million yuan, with her two murder bitches in tow.

Her marriage is an unhappy one, and her husband does his best to avoid her and avoid conflict, lying to the kids that she's tired and then sending her away later with the same line about being tired, which is a particularly gendered kind of gaslighting. She is obviously not tired, other than being tired of Jiang Fengmian's shit.

I'm not going to say she's the worst mother ever, because parenthood in a feudal society entails a wide range of skills, many of which she has in abundance. She starts off with a relatively tender greeting to Jiang Cheng, tuning up his always-amazing sartorial style, which is exactly like her own. They are all ready for the mommy & me fashion show.

That said, she dishes out hellacious verbal abuse to everyone in her family. She targets each one in turn, making Wei Wuxian the focus of most of her ire, but without ever directly speaking to him. He is not, in her view, part of her family. 

The Stages of Family Dinner

1. Try to fix it and defuse the situation

2. Yeah no

3. Just keep your head down and be glad it’s not your turn in the hot seat

This family meal hammers home how much Wei Wuxian is not, actually, part of the family. Jiang Fengmian adopted him into the clan, and told A-Cheng and A-Yi to treat him as a sibling, but he didn't give him the Jiang name, and he didn't get his wife's approval. He also doesn’t expect him to dress like any other clan member, apparently. 

Compare this to how Lan Wangji, actual good parent, fully integrates his own adopted son into his clan and family, starting with giving him the Lan surname.  

The hits just keep coming as she goes after Jiang Cheng for being less gifted than Wei Wuxian, Yanli for performing labor for Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Fengmian for possibly begetting Wei Wuxian.

On first watching this scene I took her question "Is this how you raise someone else's son?" to mean that she thought Jiang Fengmian was being too nice to a kid who was actually an outsider, taking resources away from the real kids. But on rewatching, it's pretty clear that she's saying his favoring Wei Wuxian is evidence that Wei Wuxian is NOT someone else's son; that he's Jiang Fengmian's bastard. 

Jiang Fengmian doesn't say a thing to this, or to her mentioning WWX’s mother. This shit is why WWX is running around in the world desperate for any crumb of info he can get about his Mom; he hears about her all the goddamn time at home, but only as insults to her character.  

A Bitch is Not Wrong

Here's the thing, though; a lot of what Yu Ziyuan says is correct. 

Jiang Fengmian should be a lot more concerned about the danger to the children, and should not leave it up to the kids to decide who's going to bear that danger.

Yanli does a lot of food=love, which is ok in the right doses, but causes her to pretty extremely lose face during the whole "soup for Jin Zixuan" debacle. And her doting on Wei Wuxian is...kinda excessive. I mean, yeah, she’s more like a mom than a sister to him, but still. Running out onto an active battlefield to look for him, frex, will be a skosh too much. 

I have a dictionary too, mom

Jiang Cheng, as the future clan leader, shouldn't let his attachments affect his decision making, and should let Wei Wuxian, who's the superior cultivator, fend for himself more often. We love Jiang Cheng for those moments where he puts himself in harm's way to protect his loved ones, but it's not a good strategy. He constantly yells at Wei Wuxian for the exact same thing he does all the time himself; he just limits who he does it for.

After she roasts the shit out of everyone for these failings, she leaves, and everyone sits around being miserable and not talking about what just happened. 

Not to be gender studies-y on main but: the awful things she says to her children are really not very different from the things that Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, although her targeting is more adept. JC also says a lot of mean things to WWX when he’s angry. When a man says cruel or insulting things, it's often presented as real love hidden under a rough exterior. When a woman does it, she's a monster.

If you enjoy this sort of interaction you should definitely have a look at Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and the plays of Eugene O'Neill.

Road Runner

Oh thank god, moving on

Lan Wangji is headed back to Cloud Recesses, and gets ambushed by the roadside with the most ridiculous trap this side of Wile E. Coyote.

Wen Chao thinks the "rug over a hole" trap is a good idea for someone who can literally fly.

Lan Wangji doesn't faff about with sword riding, he just fucking goes up in the air and stays there until he is good goddamn ready to come down. A hole in the sidewalk is really not going to be a problem for him. 

Wen Zhuliu does get in one kick before Lan Wanji yeets backwards away from him, in a moment that's scarier on rewatching, now that I know what Wen Zhuliu is capable of.

Wen Chao talks some smack to Lan Wangji, hilariously complaining about "your patronizing tone" to a man who has literally never spoken a word to him, IIRC, and certainly isn't speaking now. Maybe it's a mistranslation and should be "attitude," or maybe Wen Chao is just that dumb.

Apparently Wei Wuxian made a stack of talismans for Lan Wangji to take on the road with him. This talisman is a twin to the one Lan Wangji brings out way, way later in Yunping, when Wei Wuxian says "you even have kept it until now." Missing scene alert! What else did he make for him?

In Yunping this talisman is used to distract some random harmless street bullies. Here it is used against a seven-man murder squad.

This works.

Assault on Cloud Recesses

Forgettable disciple #1, Su She, comes rushing in to tell Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen that Cloud Recesses is under attack.

I'm pretty sure these dudes already know it, because they are meditating extra hard with a buttload of incense, and Lan Qiren is about to cough up some blood. So I think they're trying to hold the ward, rather than just, like, chilling while their disciples get stabbed.

Cloud Recesses is super on fire, you guys; it's going to totally burn to the ground; look at that conflagration, oh the humanity, etc.

Lan Qiren Rises to the Occasion

Ok, I like to rag on Failmaster Qiren and he is definitely an authoritarian dick a whole lot of the time, but in this scene he is fucking amazing.

He starts off worrying about Lan Wangji, not just out of affection but out of strategic planning, probably in equal parts. All three of these Lans take their clan responsibilities extremely seriously.

Then he calmly assesses the situation while imperturbable Lan Xichen freaks the fuck out. 

Lan Xichen is right to be alarmed, because he knows his uncle, he knows one of them is likely to die, and he knows that Lan Qiren will choose to take the hit.

I love, love, love Lan Qiren's physicality here; how centered and assured he is, as he holds his nephew steady and explains what is required of both of them.

Lan Xichen knows Lan Qiren is right. He is utterly fucking devastated, and all he can do to show his love...

...is to obey. 

This whole scene just. kills me.

Su She and forgettable disciple #2 are in the room for this whole conversation, and they join Lan Xichen in this deep bow. Note: I will be reminding everyone of this fact in Part 2.

Whew. This episode is a LOT. Part 2 Coming Soon!

Writing Prompt: What other goodies did Wei Wuxian put in Lan Wangji's care package before Lan Wangji hit the road without saying goodbye?

Soundtrack: 1. Michelle Branch, Goodbye to You 2. Ludacris, Stand Up

[emersonfreepress]

What would the ro's be like in a zombie au?

whyyyyy anon whyyy. I'm actually gonna write this in like.. slightly different terms, you'll see. any time I even briefly think of a zombie au I'm just like

I WANNA WRITE IT SO BADDD

i don't even allow myself to entertain it for very long because getting into that would be the worst thing ever for my productivity with the alpha omg 😂😂 so I'll put like the ideas that pop into my head for writing a zombie au, to work some of that creative frustration out 😆

so in this very general, absolutely noncommittal idea of mine, the main cast are older and the setting is in and around a civilian settlement led by the Emersons.

and as a refresher, i like my zombie aus to have fast zombies and fast infections ^ ^ 28 Days Later/Train to Busan style babyyyy, we the Sprinting Dead up in this bitch 😆

= = =

Gabe is, predictably, looking for what's left of his family. Following rumors of safe havens and bunkers and such. Starts the story as someone who tries to be diplomatic, if not outright pacifist, but as times get tougher and resources dwindle, he'd become one of the most cutthroat motherfuckers in the wasteland. Low-key though, low-key. People won't trust you if they know you’re capable of throwing them to a horde for strategic reasons. Like if Rick turned into Shane (for those of us familiar with early Walking Dead--idk did that happen eventually? i gave up before we even met Negan lol). The end justifies the means :) Damn, I can legit see Gabe going full evil in a zombie au omg 😂😂 i want to write it so fucking bad

Preferred weapon for zed encounters: rifle

Preferred weapon for human encounters: handgun

Faith in humanity: fucking zero

Zombie kill count: plenty; the type to kill every zombie he has spare ammo and time for

Human kill policy: When it benefits him or the people he’s looking after

Survival rating: B+; he can make it out of some pretty dire situations through sheer will to live and ruthlessness

- - -

Kile has arrived--clearly, this is the timeline they belong in. They start their journey with Gabe (and their doggo) and stick to him like glue, even reluctantly so when Gabe eventually has them join the settlement. This can only go one way, though: Kile's just too much of a wildcard for the group and hates being told what to do. (Especially now that society has fallen, wtf) They'd make their exit alone and unannounced aside from a brief head’s up to Gabe. It's slightly bittersweet, but also? They get to loot and hunt and sneak around and kill fucking zombies, all by themself. Kile is a loner, a hiker, and a hunter to begin with so they do beyond fine on their own. However, once the inevitable violent human threat comes for the settlement, Gabe is sent out to convince Kile to come out of isolation, just this once please, to be the camp’s super soldier help defend the camp.

Zed weapon: p much anything they can get their hands on, ranged or melee, blunt or sharp, w/e; improvised weapons

Human weapon: hunting knife

Faith in humanity: never had any to begin with

Zombie kill count: lol infinite?? any zed they come across is double-dead if they have the time for it

Human kill policy: at Gabe’s direction or when provoked enough/threatened

Survival rating: A-; they trust no one, live in isolation, and prioritize survival above all else. only reason it’s not higher is they would risk their life for Gabe or their furbaby and also... their own Rambo-esque antics def attracts the occasional horde lmao

- - -

Jack... this poor boy, he doesn't deserve a zombie au 😂 He's one of those people that first believes zombies are just sick people, too squeamish to keep up with TV news coverage at the onset and too upset to consider anything else. He'd hunker down at home, staying holed up even while his neighbors evacuated, and probably be discovered while the main group is looting the same place as him. When people try to tell him the real state of the world, he'd be in denial until he absolutely couldn't be anymore. idk, probably after Kile shooting a bunch of non-lethal holes thru a zombie to make a point (attracting more in the process lol).

He’d almost immediately join the medical team at the settlement and as word spreads about how easy he is to talk to, he quickly becomes the literal on-site therapist. It's a role he embraces but... idk if it's an emotional burden he can bear. He's very emotionally resilient! But he ain't a professional lol imagine a whole settlement of traumatized zombie survivors seeking you out for counseling, yikes. He also can't say no to a person in need, so instead he quietly spirals into a very private depression while continuing to help others!!

Zed weapon: Oh gosh, do I really have to?

Human weapon: ...Kindness?

Faith in humanity: Unrealistically high

Zombie kill count: Single digit

Human kill policy: Not ever, unless completely unavoidable and to defend the defenseless

Survival rating: C...? idk, that feels generous. D+. To be protected at all costs!!

- - -

Jessie also had the initial reaction of hoping zombies could be saved, but she woke up from that dream swiftly. The science-minded person that she is, esp with her interest in biology, leaves her determined to find anybody who's got the intellect, expertise, and resources to start doing actual work toward a treatment, cure, vaccine—anything. Nothing would get her to finally unabashedly embrace her love of science (and innate leadership skills!!) faster than a zombie apocalypse! In fact, it’s thanks to her that the Emerson settlement’s got a small but growing team of scientists doing as much research as humanly possible to best educate the others on the outbreak and zombie behavior. Def no zombie experimentation going on though lol. ...Not yet, at least.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: rifle

Faith in humanity: High! We’ll find a solution! Don’t give up hope!

Zombie kill count: Double digits, but less than 30

Human kill policy: Only in unavoidable self-defense or defense of others

Survival rating: B! She has experience with ranged weapons, farming and gardening skills, first aid, camping experience, and a can-do attitude with a healthy dose of realism!

- - -

Rain remains cargo as I said in the last post about this 😆 They'd be very good for keeping clothes repaired and making useful modifications in the settlement, but their life up to this point has been very sheltered and privileged. We're talking somebody with a chauffeur and a personal chef before the outbreak! They would contribute to quality of life and homemaking efforts more than anything—an overlooked aspect of these scenarios tbh! After as many months of dragging their feet as possible and being nigh impossible to track down when you need them, they eventually become involved in meal planning and even help out with medical stuff if they're asked.

Zed weapon: how do you reload this thing again?

Human weapon: switchblade or other concealable sharp-pointy

Faith in humanity: Very low

Zombie kill count: 0! Can you believe it!

Human kill policy: Well if it’s you or me, of course I’m choosing me.

Survival rating: C. Being so tiny helps them find good hiding spots and their self-preservation is high enough to keep them from unnecessary risk-taking. Plus they're very stealthy! Self-defense is a major issue though, so hiding is always their best option.

- - -

Rupan/Rohan scouts for and leads scavenging missions and is Curt's right hand on the recruitment team. The two of them together are the perfect combo of diplomacy, debate, and deception--although R is more honorable about the last one and will only deceive for strategic reasons. When they aren’t looting and recruiting, they’re doing peacekeeping inside the settlement. Most social disputes end up getting brought to them for mediation and they’re pretty dang good at making and enforcing calls. One day they’ll wake up to realize they’ve basically become a sheriff and feel the need to puke their guts up and do something, anything, to reassure themself they’re still punk 😂

Zed weapon: SMG

Human weapon: shotgun

Faith in humanity: Believes in fundamental goodness but knows better than to trust first impressions

Zombie kill count: decent, more than 40; you won’t catch them having a field day tho, they’re trying to gtfo of most zed situations

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. And they aren’t, at all, immune to a revenge rampage either...

Survival rating: B-. Can handle themself both with humans and zeds but is vulnerable to hostage situations and truly difficult sentimental/interpersonal decisions!

- - -

Vivian/Vincent manages inventory and stock and they run it so efficiently it’s scary! They're the perfect pick: a hawk-eyed tyrant and tattletale 😂 Despite constantly butting heads with just about everyone on every imaginable thing, they quickly become an important part of the inner circle of decision-makers for the settlement at large. Terrible at stealth, jumpy, and squeamish at the sight of blood and gore, they literally never go on missions unless they're 100% needed for their expertise on a supply run. (They would deny all of these shortcomings are that big a problem, meanwhile R is definitely acting as their bodyguard lol.) When they do tag along, they're prone to becoming the damsel in distress. Seriously, it happens near every fucking time. It's like they just attract only the most improbable and perilous zombie attacks and hostage situations 😆

Zed weapon: shotgun

Human weapon: handgun

Faith in humanity: Medium; seeing people work together at the settlement helps restore it a bit

Zombie kill count: Double digits, under 25

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. Well, no, not by me! Get one of the ruffians to do it!

Survival rating: C-. They’d be higher if they weren’t such natural zombie bait.

- - -

Heidi is running the settlement, well-organized to the degree of actually managing to bring bureaucracy to a post-zombie apocalypse settlement 😂 People are free to come and go, but getting in if you don't live there requires trading something of value (fuel, med supplies, food, etc), temporary surrender and registry of firearms and explosives, and you gotta GTFO at the time and date specified upon entry! You can stay long-term if you contribute to the community in a tangible way—and each person admitted is approved by Heidi personally. Yes, every individual. No, she has no free time. And she is not known to be lenient with rule breakers—you want rule bending, you’ll have to go to Curt for that. People kind of hate her, but it can't be denied that she runs a tight ship. She kind of throws herself into the work to avoid the harsher reality at large and hasn't left the settlement in a long time. She's out of touch with how bad things have gotten in the wastes, but she knows better than to take reports at anything less than face value--even when she's skeptical.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: handgun; dagger

Faith in humanity: Medium. It fluctuates, honestly

Zombie kill count: Double digits, less than 20

Human kill policy: Violent threats must be taken out if they can’t be reasoned with. Spare those who surrender, eradicate those who don't, keep an eye on the newbies. Not tryin’ to nurse any vendettas around here lol

Survival rating: B. She's good with a firearm, masterful at persuasion, and savvy enough to calculate risks appropriately. Also far tougher than her prim exterior and demeanor suggests!

- - -

Curt leads the recruitment and reconnaissance teams! When a new person or group shows up in the area, Curt's the one who stalks watches them, decides if they're worth approaching, and if they should be approached with an invitation, a simple acknowledgment/announcement of their presence, or an outright armed warning to leave the area. He also keeps tabs on morale and general confidence inside the settlement, alongside R. When he isn’t leading those efforts, though, he’s flirting with settlers and squirreling his way out of manual labor and other chores. He’s also secretly growing weed at his place--don’t tell Heidi or Vi ‘cause they’ll wanna yell at him and ration it UGH.

Zed weapon: SMG, explosives

Human weapon: handgun, dagger

Faith in humanity: Pft, sorry, what now?

Zombie kill count: ...way more than you’d expect

Human kill policy: I don’t start confrontations, but I sure as fuck end them.

Survival rating: A! He’s good at playing hapless idiot when it suits him to be underestimated, good with firearms, and capable of being ruthless and decisive in life or death situations! Plus he has no qualms about ditching the settlement if he decides it’s not working out for him. Just don’t tell Heidi lol

[stainedglassgardens]

Watched in April

Queen of Earth Black Christmas Dogs of Chernobyl Firecrackers Les Misérables The Evil Dead The Daughters of Fire (Las hijas del fuego) The Fallen Idol The Wailing (곡성, Gokseong) Inherent Vice Sorrowful Shadow Mistery Lonely The Grand Bizarre Zombieland: Double Tap Waves '98 Uncut Gems The Last Séance Too Late to Die Young (Tarde para morir joven) Room Queen & Slim The Holy Mountain (La montaña sagrada) The Chaser ( 추격자, Chugyeokja) Made in Dagenham The Color of Pomegranates (Նռան գույնը, Nřan guynə) Lost Girls Ghost Town Anthology (Répertoire des villes disparues) And Then There Were None Doctor Sleep Meshes of the Afternoon Circus of Books Catfish Wildling Delphine The Strange Love of Martha Ivers The Red Balloon (Le Ballon rouge) Nona. If They Soak Me, I’ll Burn Them (Nona. Si me mojan, yo los quemo) The Lodge Invisible Man Sans Soleil

Did not finish

Horsehead (Romain Basset, 2014) Sinister (Scott Derrickson, 2012)

Did not like

Sorrowful Shadow (Guy Maddin, 2004) Mistery Lonely (Harmony Korine, 2007) Uncut Gems (Josh and Benny Safdie, 2019) The Last Séance (Laura Kulik, 2018) The Holy Mountain (La montaña sagrada, Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1973) Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

Okay

Queen of Earth (Alex Ross Perry, 2015): The way it was filmed reminded me of The Midnight Swim and Always Shine. I watched it because Elisabeth Moss is in it but was rather disappointed in the end -- it was beautifully shot but went nowhere

Black Christmas (Sophia Takal, 2019): Like Assassination Nation, this is a film I'm glad young people today have -- and it was fine, and if there’s anything I’ve got to say about so-called raging feminists it’s that we need more of them, but yeah the ending was disappointing and I felt that I had aged out of the target audience a good number of years ago

The Evil Dead (Sam Raimi, 1981): Finally saw this! Love me a a good campy horror story once in a while

The Wailing (곡성, Gokseong) and The Chaser ( 추격자, Chugyeokja) (Na Hong-jin, 2016 and 2008): A healthy dose of wtf in both of those, I’m still not sure I “correctly” grasped the intended tone. I also just lost all interest in The Chaser when (spoiler) the girl died. What’s the point of that? Are we in Game of Thrones now? I may still be angry about that, actually

Inherent Vice (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2014): I know it’s a good film but it bored me to death. I don’t like stories about men or drugs

Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019): A sympathetic, slightly disappointing sequel

Waves '98 (Ely Dagher, 2015): I don’t remember much about this short but I did think it was good

Room (Lenny Abrahamson, 2015): I couldn’t watch this as separate from the book, it felt more like a companion film to me than anything else. It was good I think, but I’m definitely not the best judge on this one, because the book was so amazing and I’m still not over it, apparently

And Then There Were None (René Clair, 1945): Was it good? Who knows. They changed the ending and added in a crap love story, so who cares, really

Wildling (Fritz Böhm, 2018): I liked it? I didn’t really see the “feminist themes” in this but it was good

Delphine (Chloé Robichaud, 2019): This is one of those short films that are a little too “slice of life” for me to really enjoy. I can tell it’s good, tho

The Red Balloon (Le Ballon rouge, Albert Lamorisse, 1956): This is apparently a classic short film, and I think I would have enjoyed it a lot had I seen it in 1956. Seeing it today, when everything in it has been used in a hundred thousand other films, made it fall flat a little

Nona. If They Soak Me, I’ll Burn Them (Nona. Si me mojan, yo los quemo, Camila José Donoso, 2019): Watched this because it was directed by a woman! Did not know what to expect at all. The non-linear narration kept me trying to remember if there was something I could possibly have skipped that would have made more sense of it. I think the premise (old woman throws Molotov cocktail at former lover’s car) is better than the finished product, although it is very well-shot and the acting is amazing

Good

Dogs of Chernobyl (Léa Camilleri & Hugo Chesnel, 2020): Short documentary that had me on the verge of tears several times (you can watch it for free on YouTube!)

Les Misérables (Ladj Ly, 2019): It’s hard to talk about films like these. It is very good, very important, I think everyone should watch it. Think a new La Haine

The Daughters of Fire (Las hijas del fuego, Albertina Carri, 2018): Loved the reflection on pornography. The pornography itself was a little more... boring... but I appreciate the intention, and the guts it took to shoot something like this

The Fallen Idol (Carol Reed, 1948): An amazing British classic (adapted from Graham Greene!) that I had somehow never heard of. Great acting, especially considering the main character is a small child

Too Late to Die Young (Tarde para morir joven, Dominga Sotomayor Castillo, 2018): There will be people in this world to say that "uhh nothing happens in this film", a statement to which my reply will be twofold: first, it's beautiful so who cares, and second, how many other films have you seen that take place in a commune in the 1990s in Chile? That's what I thought. Shut up

Made in Dagenham (Nigel Cole, 2010): Films like this and Suffragette, that is, mainstream films about the working classes and political activism, are almost bound to be flawed, but I'm grateful they exist all the same. And how many of those have we seen that are about workers’ unions, with an all-female main cast, and nuanced dialogue about communism and the place of women in the home and of men in feminism? I’m glad that male directors have finally figured out that one of the best ways to avoid showing a one-dimensional idea of women is to have lots of them in one film. And Sally Hawkins! I love her

The Color of Pomegranates (Նռան գույնը, Nřan guynə, Sergei Parajanov, 1969): Another one of those classics I had never heard of (until I got Mubi!). Indescribable, beautiful

Lost Girls (Liz Garbus, 2020): Really liked the speech at the end about the police failing the victims and their families, really liked that the old inspector guy wasn't made to be someone who was on the side of the victims instead of on his own side. Bleak, sobering. When I watched this I didn't know Garbus was the person who directed that Nina Simone documentary, which I also love.Will definitely seek out more Liz Garbus in future

Ghost Town Anthology (Répertoire des villes disparues, Denis Côté, 2019): I watched this not knowing anything about Denis Côté or the film, and I loved the atmosphere even before the supernatural element really kicked in. Films like this and The One I Love or Everything Beautiful is Far Away are my kind of low-key science fiction

Meshes of the Afternoon (Maya Deren and Alexander Hammid, 1943): Aaaand another classic I finally saw! It just warms my heart to see that stuff like this was being made (by a woman!!) in the 1940s

Circus of Books (Rachel Mason, 2019): I saw a headline calling this “the queer Stories We Tell” and I loved Sarah Polley’s documentary and wouldn’t go quite that far but I can see where it’s coming from. A good autobiographical documentary about the complexity of families

Catfish (Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, 2010): I think everyone going into this today knows what this is going to be about, but let me tell you, it does not reduce the impact

The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (Lewis Milestone, 1946): Barbara Stanwyck and Lizabeth Scott! Murder! Intrigue! Love and sleaze!

The Lodge (Veronika Franz & Severin Fiala, 2019): This was so efficient. It is so well-done, and Riley Keough is amazing as usual. More subtle than Franz and Fiala’s last effort, Goodnight Mommy, and at least as good

Sans Soleil (Chris Marker, 1983): It’s hard not to be disappointed by this after hearing every film bro I’ve ever met describe this as his fave ever. It is... pretty racist and sexist... but yes, very pretty, very nice if you can get past that

Faves

Firecrackers (Jasmin Mozaffari, 2018): Is this a coming-of-age story? Anyway it’s about two working-class teenage girls in small town Canada who are this close to making their dream of leaving for New York, and one of them is fuuuuucked up...

The Grand Bizarre (Jodie Mack, 2018): I think this is what I want from a non-narrative documentary. I’m tired of seeing pretentious Godfrey Reggio knockoffs. This quite simply blew my mind and is one of those very rare films I can see myself rewatching ten times

Queen & Slim (Melina Matsoukas, 2019): I can’t not compare this to Natural Born Killers and Thelma and Louise, both of which I used to love and haven’t seen in a number  of years -- but Queen & Slim is quite possibly better than both of those. The tone, the breadth, the acting -- even the soundtrack. It’s a masterpiece

Invisible Man (Leigh Whannell, 2020): This is about a man who creates an invisibility suit. This is also about a woman who is being stalked and abused by a controlling man who just won’t rest until he has completely destroyed her -- but of course, since this is cinema and the woman in question is Elisabeth Moss, she ultimately beats the shit out of him. This was very difficult to watch for me but I’m glad I stuck through

*

I got Mubi this month! So glad I did. It’s so much better than both Filmstruck (RIP) and Amazon Prime. I like that choices are made for me up to a certain extent -- and those choices often turn out very good, and always interesting. And yes, we’re still in lockdown, I’m still unemployed, hence the number of films watched this month. Hopefully we can get out in May and I’ll end up watching less!

[savefarris124-blog]

Love Me Tinder

Words To Live By: “I just wish I could start a relationship 12 years in. When you really don’t have to try anymore and you can just sit around and goof on TV shows and then go to bed without anybody trying any funny business”--Liz Lemon (Tina Fey), 30 Rock.

Reader, I have an embarrassing confession to make: I am over the age of 30 and still single. You might think this isn’t terribly shocking as far as secrets go. Once upon a time I may have agreed with you. That was before older people started constantly asking me, “When are you getting married?”

I grew up watching a healthy dose of NBC’s Must-See TV, featuring such gems as Suddenly Susan and Just Shoot Me. These two shows featured 30-something women trying to balance a crazy career while possibly looking for love. The premise may seem clichéd now but in 1998 it was…also clichéd. Still these shows were great for background noise, and they infused me with the subversive notion that somehow a 30-year-old woman could walk into a room and nobody would be offended by her lack of husband.

I will confess that questions about my marital status bother me. Naturally I should be bothered on feminist principle and all that jazz, and I am. I am also bothered because I honestly do wish to fall hopelessly, sickeningly in love and share a life of adventures with somebody who sees me as I am. We would know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, push each other to become the best versions of ourselves, and laugh at jokes only we can understand.

Most people go about finding love by dating, but my dating history is spotty at best. I could go into details both depressing and/or absurd but here is the rundown of my greatest hits:

I needed to break out of this cycle. I had tried online dating a little in the past, but this time I decided to dive deep. After all, if the internet could bring a custom-made Scarlet Witch headpiece right to my door why not a boyfriend? I set out on an epic quest to become a Tinderella. And guess what? I’m engaged!

Just kidding; I burnt out after six weeks of extreme dating. During this period I went out with four guys, which for me is the equivalent of trying to run the Boston marathon when your warm-up routine has been a coma. Still I learned some valuable lessons. Learn from my mistakes, readers, and godspeed.

DO: Choose a Good Profile Picture

One of the reasons I dragged my feet on joining Tinder is that I hate every photo of me ever taken. I therefore avoid cameras at all cost. “What am I doing?” I ask myself as I dodge behind the nearest potted plant. “How will I remember that I have a fun, enviable life?” I then leap out in front of the camera, contort my body into an unnatural posture never used in real life, and smile. My reward is yet another awkward photo of myself that I will destroy immediately. Wash, rinse, repeat for the next ten years.

Because the only way to get better at something is practice, I spent my summer learning the art of complete narcissism. Going to a play? Let me take a selfie. Someone’s having a party? Selfie time. Spending a relaxing day inside to avoid the heat? Selfie marathon! I took enough selfies to burn through my phone’s memory. One of my best friends got married in October and I used the opportunity of professional hair and make-up to snap roughly 800 pictures of myself and maybe two of the bride for good measure. This strategy worked though, because I now have a whole six of photos of myself I can show with pride neutrality.

This photo obsession may seem like overkill, but online dating profiles have no context. The bio section is short, and half the time people don’t fill it out. Therefore if a guy doesn’t smile in his photos I assume he doesn’t have a sense of humor. If he takes a shirtless pic in a place where he shouldn’t be shirtless I assume he is a douchebag. If he refuses to post any photos with his face I assume he will murder me, and nobody has time to deal with that.

DO: Fill Out the Bio

Just take 5 minutes. Give me something. This is a system set up for convenience; I don’t want to dig. Also saying, “Just ask” doesn’t count. You are not mysterious, or rebellious, or beyond labels. You are lazy. I, too, am lazy, so I understand the impulse, but one of us has to put in the effort so it may as well be you.

DO: Play It Safe

Tell your friends whenever you are going out with someone new. Not only is it useful in case they need to file a police report, but also fun. The highlight of meeting so many new people was brainstorming safety code phrases with my gal pals. One friend insisted on the word “Pikachu.” I can’t remember if that meant I was safe or in trouble; it doesn’t matter. From “banana hammock” to “crazytown” to “vanilla gorilla” anything works for this purpose. Granted if a guy sees you get or send a text during the date, odds are he knows the score but a code word gives you at least some sort of deniability. That way in case he grabs the phone out of your hand like a psycho you can claim it’s just an inside joke, and oh my God, what the Hell has dating come to in the 21st century?

DON’T: Set Your Expectations High

“The love of my life may be just a swipe away,” I told myself when I signed up for Tinder. This is technically true, but you know who else is just a swipe away? Every other guy in this city. The beauty of Tinder is that you can see just how much is out there. The downside is that most of it is hot garbage.

I don’t want to just rag on Tinder, though I could. They have a filter for age, a filter for distance, but they don’t let me set a filter for douchebags (again, those guys who think I’m impressed by their refusal to let shirts dampen the glory of their doughy physiques). However at least Tinder respects my filters. 

On the advice of a friend I also tried Coffee Meets Bagel, the site where she met her current boyfriend. While CMB seemed a bit more promising at first with its “select picks” it is rapidly disappointing me. I am 32 right now, and a very different person from when I was in my 20s. I told CMB I only wanted to date guys over the age of 30, but 75% of my picks are 29 or under. One time they selected a 28-year-old man for me that was clearly in his 50s. Between his gray goatee and his paunch he looked like Santa Claus with a mid-life crisis. Is that a fluke? Doubtful. Today the same thing happened, except this guy’s alternate pictures are all of Jesus. I think I’ll pass.

DON’T: Ignore Yellow Flags

Sure we all can recognize red flags when we see them, but what about yellow flags? I ended up falling hard for a guy who was funny and introspective. He loved to sing and act goofy, and being around him made brought out the light-hearted dreamer in me. He also ended up being a massive jerkwad.

He would schedule every date to be at or around his place. This part I was sort of okay with because I don’t want near-strangers knowing where I live, but it did mean I did all the driving. He tried to reschedule our first date so he could hang out with his friends that night, and did reschedule our second date. On said second date he had his phone out during dinner so he could play a Ghostbusters game. In my head half of me would say, “Whatever, we don’t know each other that well, plus you know he has ADHD. Nothing like being a high-maintenance bitch to drive men away.” The other half would say, “You came all this way, battled for downtown parking, worked your ass off to look cute for this date, let it be rescheduled, and he can’t even set his phone down for one minute? WTF?”

Yet somehow this guy emerged as the leader of the pack despite the fact that if I made a list of “Guys Who Displayed Basic Consideration For My Time” he would rank 3 out of 4. What can I say, the heart wants what it wants, and also I have terrible self-esteem and judgment. It came as a shock to absolutely no one that after our third and final date he sent me this text message:

Hmm, yes, “exhausting.” This was technically true, because I was exhausted. On the evening of our last date I bolted out of work at 5:00, drove home, took a shower, shaved my legs despite being on my period and knowing there would be no shenanigans that night, picked out an outfit, got dressed, decided that my outfit was too sexy for a night free of said shenanigans (I’m not cruel), put on a different outfit, looked around for my steampunk earrings because he mentioned he loved steampunk, did my make-up, and drove downtown to hang at his place at 7:00.

He got out of work late, fit in a workout, took a shower, and ordered pizza. Poor baby.  Poor me. I had thought of calling him on this BS multiple times but refrained because I didn’t want to scare him off. Now here we were a month later, him running away anyway and me peeved I had invested so much effort into a guy when I had seen from the start he wouldn’t do the same.

So here I am now, licking my wounds from this latest foray into dating. I won’t give up completely, but I have learned that I’m the kind of person that needs to take things slow. If that means I only date one person at a time, then I’m going to make damn sure that person is worth it. Will I go back to online dating? Maybe, although now when I check out Tinder or CMB instead of seeing possibilities all I see is a vast wasteland of strangers staring back at me. I’ll try again in the new year, but for now I’m back to my previous dating strategy of hoping to get hit on the head and ending up with a special kind of amnesia where I get transported into my favorite TV universes to romance the hot male leads. Sure Peter Stone has issues but at least he won’t constantly reschedule our steady date night on Thursdays at 9:00.

[kandace-roo-blog]

Walt Task #4 || The Ins and Outs of Kandace Roo

Describe your character; How do you see your character in your own eyes and not based off the bio. How have you developed this character into your own?

Ohhhh, Kandace. This is my first time playing a teen/single mom, and so far it’s been such an interesting experience to play around with how that affects her characterization. She’s one of those people that deflects so much on other people in order to keep from addressing all of the issues that she hasn’t quite worked out herself yet thanks to all of her family drama and being abandoned by Joey’s dad. It’s just easier for her to focus on trying to fix or help other people and make them feel good because in some weird way, it makes her feel like she’s doing at least something right. Behind that outward appearance of caring, however, she’s drowning. She’s depressed and hard on herself and so, so incredibly broken over feeling like her life has just fallen apart, and she honestly breaks my heart sometimes because she just sees herself as damaged and broken beyond repair. There’s literally only two bright spots in her life, and that’s her friends from home and of course, her son. More on her friends later, but focusing on Joey... man, she loves that kid. It’s hard for her to imagine now that she was willing to go along with what her mother wanted and give the kid up, but as soon as she looked into his big, blue eyes, she just knew he was the most important thing she’d ever have in her life and she’d never abandon him like others had abandoned her. In a way, she wanted to be the mom that her own mother had never been for her, and being there for him is basically the only thing that gets her up in the morning and forces her through her day.

What’s your favorite thing about your character? what’s your least favorite?

Kandace just has this amazing empathy to her that I absolutely adore. She’s selfless in a way that’s not always healthy but warms my heart a little bit because she’s the type of person that is always looking to care for others. It’s what makes her such a good friend and such a good mom and even though she’s incredibly heartbroken and hurt, that trait still remains.

As for my least favorite, it’s definitely how hard she is on herself. I’m not talking about just a regular self-confidence issue - I’m talking about this constant narrative in her head of everything she’s failing at. Whether it’s that she’s a bad mother and isn’t doing enough for her son, that she’s unlovable and doesn’t deserve to be happy with someone else, or that she isn’t living up to what she could be, she’s constantly doubting and hating herself and it breaks my heart.

What are some of your favorite relationships your character has formed? (Friendships, relationships, yada ya)

Ok, so first of all, Eeyore??? They warm my heart so much because they were more like acquaintances made through mutual friends back home but now they’re the only two in LA and have started becoming actual friends and I’m emotional about it tbh because what the HELL. Kanga just wants to make her just a little bit happier because she can relate all to well to how she feels and I just think in general they relate so well to each other and I can’t wait to see that friendship progress, tbh.

Even though the rest of the Hundred Acre Woods gang isn’t here yet, I also need to give them a shout-out because all of those friendships make me emotional in general. Like lil Paxton was the one who made her decide that she could handle being a mom in the first place and Tiago is just that big ball of pure joy that she honestly needs in her life to force her to smile and loosen up for once of her life. AND CHRISTOPHER ROBIN DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW BADLY I WANT HIM IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. They’ve literally been friends through preschool and are still best friends to this day and are the most supportive little beans and he is one of the only people Kanga trusts with her whole life and LISTEN I WILL BRIBE SOMEONE TO BRING HIM TO ME BECAUSE I NEED IT OK

Kanga and Oliver kill me tbh because they relate so much in terms of parenthood and it’s so rare to find someone as a seventeen-eighteen year old mom who you can talk to about the pitfalls of being a parent and I just love them??? I can’t wait for them to have play dates and blab about all the problems they’re having in raising children!

This is probably less important because he’s a NPC but Danny (aka Joey’s dad) and Kanga make me sad af and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately?? Like Kandace was looking to be a lil rebellious and ended up with this bad boy who had a reputation as a heartbreaker and honestly fell in love with him?? Yes, it was probably an unhealthy relationship by many standards and he kind of pushed her to do things that she typically wouldn’t do for multiple reasons but at the end of the day she just adored him and he might have loved her too and then Joey happened and she honestly thought that he’d be willing to settle down and raise a family with her and it just ??? didn’t happen ??? And he told her he didn’t love her and made her feel basically completely used and damaged and terrified of love and DAMN IT SOMEONE TEACH THIS GIRL THAT LOVE DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN HEARTBREAK WTF

AS FOR NEXT GEN Joey is so #blessed to have so many sweethearts in his life tbh. Like the Addison kids???? They’re practically like his siblings at this point and you best believe he’ll 100% always be there for each and every one of them. Also Noelle??? I’m still loling over the concept that they went on a tinder date and just ended up becoming pals instead because it’s such a Roo thing to do tbh and their friendship jut makes me so happy ok? ok.

Has your character changed you in any way? Or do you yourself in yourself in your character?

I would also say that Kandace has been a good outlet for me because I also deal with a lot of self doubt and a healthy dose of clinical depression to boot. I try not to dwell too much on it because it can bring my mood down a bit too, but it’s also been super nice to verbalize feelings and thoughts through her eyes and has been kind of cathartic for me and has definitely helped me work through some heavy stuff in my life. I love my lil fragile baby too much.

Do you think your character has had a big impact on Walt? Is it a good impact or bad?

I don’t think she’s had a big impact, but hopefully a good one! I really want to expand on her some more and get some more plots going for her tbh because I’ve had so much muse for her as of late and really want to see that impact!

Favorite thing your character has done and worst

Favorite thing? Tbh, it’s definitely her decision to keep Joey. Writing that scene for my app honestly put me through tears because she was so determined not to keep him and not to get attached and she just looked at him and knew. And from there, she was determined to do the exact opposite and not let him go even if that meant losing the rest of her family and having to do it all on her own.

I can’t think of anything really awful she’s done so far, but I do think that the fact that she’s isolated herself so much in general is not a good move. She honestly feels like people are going to get annoyed with the fact that she’s constantly dealing with her kid and just doesn’t want to face it, and I really wish she’d push out of her shell a little bit and put herself out there again because she has so much to offer.

What is some progress you hope to have with your character in the future?

Obviously I want to see her grow emotionally. I want her to face her depression head-on and take steps to treat it, especially by going through some therapy. Girl needs to VENT. I obviously want to see Joey grow up and play out those struggles as a mother and how she handles them. Finally, I’d honestly really like to see her heal all those scars on her heart from what happened and feel less unlovable? Because she’s really honestly worthy of being loved and once she realizes that, she has the potential of maybe actually being happy and doing something for herself instead of for others.

What is one thing you would tell your character?

YOU’RE DOING GREAT, SWEETIE, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.

What has been YOUR favorite thing about walt?

Has your experience been a positive one? (BE HONEST YO.)

Got a favorite memory? Share it!

What are you looking forward too in the future?

Have you had a favorite event? Favorite plot? Share it right here

(skipping these bc i’ve already answered them on Rora’s!)

Favorite character that’s not your own and why

Ok so here I’d like to give a shoutout to both @justeeyore and @whydidyoutakemeaway because they are??? the sweetest???? Alicia, you know I absolutely love all of your characters and Eeyore is no exception. I think you play that morose nature so well without crossing that fine line between being actually upset and being whiny and Eeyore honestly breaks my heart all the freaking time and ??? i love her so much ok

and KAITLYN again, u know i love you and all your characters but I felt it was fitting to give some kudos to Oliver considering his friendship with Kandace. You play Oliver so beautifully both in his relationship with Wally and his characterization in general. You always have so many interesting ideas and twists and turns for him in mind and whether he’s freaking out or being goofy or everything in between, he’s always such a fun character to see on the dash and I love him so, so much.

Ideas, shoutouts, request, dedications, questions? Put ‘em here!

I love all of you!!! ( and I’m too lazy to type it all out again but u know how it is guys ok)

[ratthewrodent]

This fuck up has been set up perfectly for disaster over the past few months and is continuing to destroy my life. This is a long one, but every detail counts in portraying one of the worst weeks of my life.Let me preface this by saying I love my cat more than anything, and while he is currently not sleeping anywhere near me, he's still getting a lot of cautious love. I can't imagine being self-isolated alone without him right now. Truly, I love him too much - too much love got us here today.In January, I adopted an 11 yo, 19 lbs chonker. I fell in love instantly. His last family returned him after 6 months with a bad case of fleas. He had been defleaed but came home with a slew of other health issues. By end of January after a lot of vet visits, he seemed to be on the mend. I knew what I was signing up for when I adopted a senior cat, but just didn't realize the endless possibilities. Truly, I tell him every night before bed he's my ride or die, and that's about to be tested with this saga of the greatest love story ever told.Early February, he starts coughing and stops pooping in his litterbox, despite me cleaning it daily. He's still peeing in there, but seems cautious and runs out immediately. Even when he started pooping on the floor (thank God for wood floors), he'd run under my bed from it. That was the only time he'd go under my bed, otherwise he was cuddled up on or next to me. His medical chart from when I adopted him said he had issues with litterbox pooping- they suspected he was afraid of his last family's other cat and it was behavioral, but something didn't add up. He was fine with pooping in the litterbox for the first month after his kitty enema. I cleaned up his poop every other day and saw nothing out of the ordinary. He was starting to lose weight, which was good because as cute of a chonker as he is, it's NOT healthy, folks. I stopped free feeding him, started feeding him scheduled wet food meals, and we had daily playtime to get him to a healthy weight.I bring him into the vet in February for the 6th time in a month and a half. He had half of his teeth removed before I adopted him. This resulted in an incision infection and an enema due to opiod constipation. This visit was for his cough. I even ask if he could have worms. The vet tells me, "I know you're trying to be a good pet owner, but he likely has allergies and it's a behavioral issue. This might be something he has to live with. Come see me if his mucus turns brown". I had been right about every single Dr. Google diagnosis up until this point, but whatever. I buy an air purifier, vacuum and clean regularly, change the bedding weekly- I already have an obsessive cleaning schedule, and COVID/quarantine has only allowed that the time to thrive. Ask any of my previous roommates and I am the cleanest person you'll ever live with. Despite the cleaning, some coughing days were better than others.All of a sudden end of last week, he starts coughing a lot less, and I start feeling like absolute shit. My best friend even makes a joke that I caught whatever my cat had. Sick, sick foreshadowing.When I read the article about the tiger in the Bronx catching COVID19, I was convinced we both had it. My chest was tight, frequent bathroom runs, just pure exhaustion, losing weight rapidly despite being quarantined for a month in a tiny studio- malnourished to the point my hair is falling out. I'm a mess. I guess it's a good thing I got laid off 2 weeks ago, because the bathroom and I are very close friends these days.I wake up Monday morning to the pungent smell of my cat's usual poop surprise on the wood floor. He's such a kind cat to poop where it's easy cleanup. That's when I see them - worms crawling around EVERYWHERE. I'm gagging, take a little sample for the vet, and flush the rest. I Dr. Google the shit out of it and it is for SURE tapeworms. Then I read about the eggs. Let me remind you I change my sheets and wash my duvet cover weekly. I make my bed the second I get out of it and even vacuume my duvet cover. I RUN to inspect my bed- there are eggs EVERYWHERE. Little rice demons of hell that have been dropping from my poor cat's bum for 3 months. I'm dry heaving at this point. I live in an old studio apartment and my bed is against a brick wall, so I get little grout crumble patches that I have to vacuume up pretty regularly. I remember feeling little patches of what I assumed one night was grout in my sheets, but fell asleep wine drunk and ignored it. When I tell you they were everywhere, I mean they were everywhere. My pillow, under my pillow- my cat and I fall asleep cuddling every night. Again, I love this cat too damn much.I call the vet and it is undoubtedly tapeworm. We suspect he's had it since I adopted him. His prescription gets to me within a few hours. I also get flea medication and spray. I check him for flea dirt regularly and hadn't seen anything, but better to be cautious. I bag all of my bedding, throw out half of what I own, vacuum every inch of this place for an hour, I'm on the fucking floor with my flashlight and find a dead tapeworm under my couch, Swiffer, disinfect my couch, flip my mattress- like total mental breakdown. I give him his medication and his cough stops instantly. He hasn't coughed once since Monday.This has been one of my childhood phobias since I read that urban legend about the guy who starved himself then put a burger patty on his tongue and lured the tapeworm out until he could grab it from his mouth. I'm thinking about this story after giving my cat his meds when holy moly diarrhea. I look in the toilet bowl to 3 long strings floating on the sides that normally I would have flushed to sewage heaven without second thought, but they are undoubtedly tapeworms. My grown ass calls my mom and sobs while still sitting on the toilet in all of my wormy glory. I call and embarrassingly show the doctor, doctor undoubtedly tells me I too have tapeworm and writes me a prescription. He asks me if I want just tapeworm or a full deworming? I'm like wtf does that mean? He's like, "You'd be surprised how many parasites are living in you regularly. Just wait and see what you're about to poop out". I honestly just want to die at this point.My cat and I are prescribed the same medication, obviously just different doses and different pricetags. His was $13 for two doses. Mine? $130 for one dose, 2 pills. That's WITH my last month of insurance from my previous employer. I immediately receive a text that my prescription is on back order because of COVID. I'm trying to fall asleep that night on my couch without any blankets, when would you fucking guess it- my heat stops working. So now I'm just shivering on a small ass couch knowing there's worms crawling around inside of me and eggs everywhere. I don't sleep.I call the pharmacy when they open in tears asking when my meds are going to get there. Lucky me, they had just arrived. He asks me, "Did you know your prescription is $130?" I'm like, "Uh no I've never had tapeworm, but I guess the price is irrelevant". We both nervously laugh. I also haven't had an in-person human interaction in a month because I've been self isolating alone and laid off due to COVID, so this is trying on soooo many levels.I order delivery for a big ass meal from my favorite restaurant because 1. I have no appetite because the thought of feeding the worms makes me want to die and I was hoping ordering from my favorite restaurant would entice me to eat. 2. Medication has to be taken with food. 3. I realize this is the last day the calories don't matter. Might as well enjoy it.I pick up my prescription, light a candle, call my best friend, we have a little virtual funeral for my worms and try to make light of the situation. I play the song I want played at my funeral (Hamburg Song by Keane, it's beautiful). But it just keeps getting worse, y'all. My best friend hesitantly tells me he was telling his physical therapist about my worm saga. She recommended buying clove oil and rubbing it on my pink starfish. I'm like why? Apparently worms like to bite your butt on the way out, and clove oil prevents that. I hate everything at this moment. It's like the different levels of hell.I take the pills and am reading the prescription pamphlet. It notes that you'll experience random aches and pains while the worms are dying. Let me tell you- I felt every fucking worm dying as I lay blanketless on my couch in the fetal position. All of a sudden, I'm thinking about the worms and I can't breathe. My throat is kind of itchy, and I'm thinking there are worms dying in my tonsils at this point or I got COVID at the pharmacy. I'm laying there in the fetal position, telling myself it's just a panic attack. My cat decides to go pee at 2am, jumps out startled trailing pee all over the apartment. I know the medication says limit your alcoholic beverages, but I say fuck it and make a drink. I clean the pee and finally fall asleep for about 3 hours.I wake up bright and early to the smell of cat poop. Still half asleep, I searched his normal spots and couldn't find any poops. He left it in the tub for me- a new spot- thanks, cat. Easy cleanup and no worms- I take it as a win. I flush it down the toilet, bleach the tub, and obsessively wash my hands.Let me tell you- my hands are bleeding from the amount of times I wash them between COVID and wormageddon. I look at myself in the mirror while scrubbing my raw hands and holy shit. My face is is swollen to the point I'm still surprised I can see out of my eyes. My tongue is flopping all over the place. I am having a severe allergic reaction to the tapeworm medication. That panic attack while falling asleep was actually an allergic reaction.I immediately video chat my doctor, he tells me to go get Benadryl immediately and writes me a steroid prescription. I get a call from their finance department on the brief walk to the pharmacy: $140 for that 5 minute virtual visit. I try to dispute the charge- she can't do anything. I just flat out ask her: "Can I just tell you about my shitty life then for $140?". We talk for 5 minutes about how much my life sucks and she agrees. She was very nice about it, but still $140. She basically tells me that if I had waited a month to get tapeworm and almost die from the medication, the virtual visit would have been cheaper without insurance. Fucking love it and American healthcare.I cut my losses go back to the same pharmacy from the day before and they ask me what's wrong. I lift up my glasses and they were like "Ooooof- did you know you were allergic to this medication?". At this point, I'm like "WHY DO ANY OF YOU THINK I'VE HAD TAPEWORMS BEFORE?" Truly, complete mental breakdown. I buy my medication, a box of wine, and $20 worth of candy to ease the pain.So folks, here I am. Unemployed and alone during a pandemic, clenching my butt like never before, still haven't pooped because I'm terrified of worm kisses on the way out, face still swollen shut, but I'm breathing fine. My cat is a new cat, so for that? I am grateful. I am 100% sure I will have PTSD from this experience. It is going to be a long, long, time before my cat and I snuggle regularly again, but I know we'll get there and I still love him. Adopt senior pets regardless of this story, because 10/10- would still get worms again for him.Wormageddon 2020 will not soon be forgotten.TL;DR My recently adopted cat gave us both tapeworm, I almost died from the meds, and this is my hell.Edit: I'll come back and give more meaningful update, but I'm reading all of these comments over the phone, basking in the worst kind of Reddit fame with my best friend, and his smart ass says, "Your tapeworm is going to come out of your butt and ask DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"But really, y'all are too kind. via /r/tifu

[spryfilm]

“T2 Trainspotting” (2017)

Drama/Comedy/Thriller

Running Time: 117 minutes

Written by: John Hodge

Directed by: Danny Boyle

Featuring: Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle, and Kelly Macdonald

Renton: I gave you 4000 pounds. 

Spud: Well, what did you think I would do with them? I’M A FUCKING JUNKIE! 

Renton: Yes… Yes, I suppose you was. 

Spud: I still am.

Can you ever truly go home again? This is something that literally haunts this new Danny Boyle movie, “T2 Trainspotting” (2017), the sequel to the now twenty-year old “Trainspotting” (1997). The question that will be on everyone’s minds is – Is this film any good? Does it live up to the original? Both great questions, the answers are not easy to come by. To be honest I was not sure what the motivation was to making a sequel in the first place, as saying that the original film is a classic is an understatement. Not only did “Trainspotting” launch Boyles career it also launched Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller and Kelly Macdonald careers, none of them have been out of the spotlight since, in fact all have extremely strong television and film careers. It also solidified Robert Carlyle as one of the strongest character actors in the world today, he has featured in almost every genre and even played a Bond Villain – surely the highest praise of any UK born actor in the world today. The director, Danny Boyle is the one who went on to helm many international movies, solidifying his reputation with his Oscar win for best director for “Slumdog Millionaire” (2008). Coincidentially that film launched the international careers of Dev Patel, Anil Kapoor, Ifffan Khan and Freida Pinto – it seems Boyle has the talent all great directors have – talent spotting. So after twenty years what does it all mean?

It has been 20 years since Mark “Rent boy” Renton stole from his friends half of the £16,000 they’d made in a drug deal and fled the country. He has apparently made a decent – but unfulfilling – life for himself in Amsterdam, and returns to Edinburgh to make contact with those in his former life. Daniel “Spud” Murphy continues to struggle with his heroin addiction, which has caused him to lose his construction job and estranged him from Gail Houston and their son Fergus. Simon “Sick Boy” Williamson, now a cocaine addict, runs the Port Sunshine pub he inherited from his aunt, and with his Bulgarian girlfriend Veronika attempts to blackmail men by luring them into sex videos. Francis “Franco” Begbie is serving a 25-year prison sentence and is denied parole due to his violent temper.

Mark stops by his childhood home, where his father tells him of his mother’s death while he was away. He visits Spud at his flat, narrowly preventing him from committing suicide. Spud initially resents the intervention, but Mark offers to help him out of his addiction. Mark visits Simon at the pub intending to apologize and pay back Simon’s share of the money he stole.

One of the most important aspects of the original movie was the soundtrack, and while I would like to say that the sequel’s soundtrack is as good it is not. However there are some bright points, the one thing that is great is the constant underscore of Underworld’s ‘Born Slippery’ which of course harkens back to the original but in my mind it is extremely indulgent as well as nostalgic – if this film should be about something it should not be nostalgia which is a crutch for the weak. Now, its not to say that the soundtrack is bad its just a bit dated as well as being some popular songs that everyone will know and not feel alienated – so audiences that were fifteen or twenty in 1997 now feel they are watching themselves age with music that wont be offensive. I mean Queen is on the soundtrack – WTF – this is something that wouldn’t have been caught dead in the original.

T2 Trainspotting Original Soundtrack Tracklist 

01. “Lust for Life (The Prodigy Remix)” by Iggy Pop 02. “Shotgun Mouthwash” by High Contrast 03. “Silk” by Wolf Alice 04. “Get Up” by Young Fathers 05. “Relax” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood 06. “Eventually But” by Underworld/Ewen Bremner 07. “Only God Knows” by Young Fathers 08. “Dad’s Best Friend” by The Rubberbandits 09. “Dreaming” by Blondie 10. “Radio Ga Ga” by Queen 11. “It’s Like That” by Run D.M.C. vs. Jason Nevis 12. “(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais” by The Clash 13. “Rain or Shine” by Young Fathers 14. “Whitest Boy on the Beach” by Fat White Family 15. “Slow Slippy” by Underworld

The movie is full of nostalgia, which when dealing with a film like this is not a good thing – when Renton turns back up to see his ‘mates’ there is enough blame from the previous film to go around. It is a handy coincidence that Sickboy is still a madman drug taking con man, Spud is trying to recover from smack and Begbie turns up as an escapee – trying to recapture his youth. This storyline is something that has been the subject of television shows for years – middle age wankers trying to recapture a youth that was never theirs in the first place. Like a greatest hits compilation from your favorite alternative band (now broken and broken up) this movie revisits all the memorable parts of the first film but this time with middle age spread and a healthy dose of guilt, loss and of course nostalgia.

The sequel would not have been possible without Danny Boyle and Ewen McGregor burying the hatchet after they had a falling out over the casting of “The Beach” (2000), where Boyle went with Leonardo DiCaprio.Instead of McGregor – it was one of DiCaprio’s first post “Titanic” (1997) role so he was hot.

The movie sees the return of all of the cast, even Kevin McKidd in flashback as well as seeing a memorial to him and the hugely in demand Kelly McDonald in a cameo as a lawyer so now we know she turned out alright. Then there is the scene stealing (just like the first film) Ewen Bremner as Spud, the still smack addicted mostly comic relief and cautionary tale who it turns out is an author in the making – of course he is, because like all of these characters they have learnt something and discovered their inner truth – please, how convenient. Then there are Robert Carlyle and Johnny Lee Miller who appear to have stayed true to their past, but of course even the evil Begbie who has a grown son as well as the estranged wife sees his life has moved on without him. Oh by the way even Begbie has a ‘moment’ with his son and wife where he acknowledges his son as a better person than him – really? Begbie – come on – its nice to know that exactly twenty years later he is a better man – yeah right. Johnny Lee Miller was always too cool and way to good looking for the original, but here he hasn’t aged a day and looks better than ever, even though he is supposed to be a coke head – welcome back to the 80s Sick Boy.

There is a convoluted plot involving a night club and some other bits that don’t really hold together and are not really that interesting, with a climax involving Spud being a master signature faker which has been conveniently retconned into his past which is neither here nor there. The film does come alive when it parodies the original and when the characters interact on a level that we will all recognize, but when the credits role you may be, like me, thinking that this was surely a missed opportunity for something bigger, better and be more authentic.

If you can get past the constant call backs, visually, sonically or even just inserts from the original film then this might be the film for you. For me it was just to nostalgia to the point that it became over the top, none of the characters have moved forward and to add insult to injury they were given some pat Hollywood ending, it was sad after twenty years to be served up this mess of a movie. The only thing I can think of is that the luckiest person in terms of this film is Kevin McKidd who got out of this sequel by dying in the first film.

“T2 Trainspotting 2” is out on DVD & Blu-ray on the 7th June 2017.

DVD/Blu-ray review: “T2 Trainspotting 2” (2017) “T2 Trainspotting” (2017) Drama/Comedy/Thriller Running Time: 117 minutes Written by: John Hodge Directed by: Danny Boyle…