#also why we decided to name her Toni the tiger

[hafwen]

Timmy was a stray that lived behind our house in the woods as well and looking at Toni she seems to have very similar marks and coloring. Look at them! I don't know if you can see but she has the same stripes that he does and they both have a white dot on their chests

I really do wonder if they're related and if she's going to get as big as he is

[huntertales]

Part Three: There’s Some Things You Can’t Fix. (Heaven Can’t Wait S09E06)

Episode Summary: When Dean gets a call from Castiel about a possible case dealing with spontaneous human combustion, the older Winchester decides to investigate–on his own. The reader decides to tag along. She doesn’t take no for an answer when Dean shares his odd hesitations on letting her work on a hunt with Castiel. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 4,502.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Cas watched from the passenger side window as Nora’s house slowly pulled up into view. The knot in the pit of his stomach began to tighten at how time was slipping by quicker than he anticipated to the big moment. His very first date. At first he was unsure of the proper reason why his palms felt so sweaty and his stomach started to feel strange. It wasn’t quite queasy like the time he ate some bad food when he was homeless and was forced to survive off of scraps he found in the dumpster. But he didn’t quite feel up to his normal self. When he told you and Dean about his sudden symptoms, your shared reactions weren’t ones he was expected. The man rolled his eyes in a dramatic fashion while you laughed it off. 

He didn’t understand what was so funny about what he said. Cas was genuinely worried there was something wrong with him, maybe he caught something from a customer and he only began to notice it now. He thought it was enough concern to cancel his date, in fear he might get Nora sick as well. She never missed a day of work since he started there. Humans were infamously notorious for catching all sorts of viruses and diseases. What he was feeling wasn't a stomach bug, it was something vastly different. Cas should've learned by now that emotions can change how a person feels psychically. 

"It's like butterflies in your stomach. You're excited, but you feel like you're about to pass out from nervousness." You explained almost perfectly about how Cas was feeling at the moment. "It's how I used to feel whenever Dean was around before we got together. When you're finding your feelings for someone, it gets...complicated.”

"But I'm not in love with Nora." Cas said. He started to grow even more confused at how truly complicated it was to be a human. There were so many more things than keeping after yourself. Not that relationships and emotions were strange territory, there was just so much more out there he never experienced before. He realized he was only just beginning to learn what it was all like. "At least, I don't think so." 

"It's most likely just last minute nerves. Maybe even a little crush. No need to go on proposing to her during dessert." You reassured the man. "Just go in there and be yourself."

"Okay." Cas inhaled a deep breath to try and calm his nerves before placing a hand on the passenger side door. "Thanks, Dean."

"Cas, wait. I can't let you do this." Dean managed to stop the other man before he made a grave himself. Cas sat with his foot standing on the pavement and the car door opened a few inches. The poor guy thought Dean was going to try and stop him from meeting up with Nora, thinking it was a bad idea after all. But that wasn't the cause of concern for Dean. He was looking out for his friend. His attention was focused on the tacky blue vest Cas was still wearing. "You're gonna wear that on a date?"

Cas put his foot back into the car and shut the door again, having a feeling there was something Dean was hinting around. First impressions were everything. Cas wanted to make the very best. He glanced down at his clothes to see what the problem might be. He always kept a tidy appearance. There was not a single stain on his outfit, maybe a piece of lint he overlooked. He didn't understand what the problem was, or how he could fix it. 

“This is all I have, Dean.” Cas confessed. 

"You know, Dean is right. Uh...we don't have time for you to change." You thought to yourself for a moment about what Cas could do to try and spruce up his appearance a bit better. You should've forced Dean to let Cas borrow some of his clothes. But you would just have to work with what you had. You tilted your head to the side and bit your lip for a brief second to try and think. "Okay. Lose the vest."

“What are you—” 

"Lose the vest. Come on. Fork it over." You stopped Cas from trying to put up a fight about the stupid article of clothing. Thankfully he complied and handed over the bulk of fabric over to you from the front seat. "That's a little better. And now your buttons—why don't you unbutton it?”

Sometimes Cas took things a little too literal. The man started to undo the first two buttons of his shirt like you suggested, but kept going with a third one and almost undid another before Dean stopped him. "That's far enough, Tony Manero. Save the strip tease for Nora." 

"All right. Let me take a look." You leaned forward in your seat to try and get a better look at Cas with his slightly new appearance. You took a few seconds before you deemed him good enough to head off on his date. "Yeah. Good.” 

"Listen to me. There's a few things you need to know." Dean felt the need to give the man some advice if he wasn't to make a fool of himself, more than he probably already would. "Always open the door for her, okay? Ask a lot of questions. They like that. And...oh, if she's happy to go dutch, she's lying."

"Okay, that's enough." You interrupted the man before he could give anymore unsolicited information that might hurt Cas more than help. You lightly slapped a hand on Cas' shoulder and offered a supportive smile. "Go get 'em, tiger." 

Cas inhaled a deep breath to try and calm his racing heart before finally gathering the courage to open up the passenger side door again and step out. You and Dean watched as he finally made his way to Nora's front door, finding this situation sort of like dropping off your kid on their first date. There was a sort of innocence and adorable factor that made you smile. Dean offered a supportive thumbs up when Cas stopped at the closed front gate and looked over his shoulder to see the both of you were still there. Cas returned the gesture before opening up the gate and continued heading toward the house. 

You smiled to yourself when Cas managed to make it to the front door without backing out. He adjusted his appearance one more time to make sure he looked presentable and reached a fist up to knock on the door. However he stopped when he realized something. Wasn't it customary to bring dates flowers as a romantic token? What if she was expecting them? Before he could begin to panic, luck seemed to have been on his side tonight. 

Cas spotted a blooming rose bush conveniently right next to the porch. He remembered Nora saying about how she liked gardening in her free time. Red roses were also a symbol of love. He found a pair of clippers and snipped himself a single rose, Nora wouldn't know the difference. Dean snickered to himself when Cas’ small touch he added on his own caused the poor man to prick his fingers when he cut the single flower off. It seemed Cas might not be doomed after all. 

"I think it's our cue to leave." You said. You slipped out from the backseat and back into the passenger side when you saw Cas waving you off, wanting you both to get out of here before Nora realized he was here. You smiled at the sight. "Our boy's all grown up."

You waved back at Cas as Dean turned the engine back on before either one of you could embarrass your friend in front of his date. However before Dean could pull away from the curb, he swiftly put his foot on the brake when he saw a truck start backing up when it seemed to have come out of nowhere. Dean slowly started to grow frustrated when the car started to get dangerously close to the Impala. Before there could be an accident, he managed to get the driver's attention. You waved one final time at Cas before the Impala drove off down the street and into the night, all before disappearing from sight.

+ + +

A few minutes into driving after dropping off Cas on his date, the silence that fell over the car was interrupted by your phone going off. Your brows furrowed in confusion as to who might be trying to get in contact with you. You partially hoped it wasn't Cas. Things couldn't have gone south that quickly. When you spotted the name on the I.D. of the sheriff you had been working on the case with together, you answered it after the third ring.

"Now, here's a wrinkle. Our first crime scene, the married couple? Full analysis of the spray came in from the lab." The sheriff got a strange lead that he thought you might want to hear about that benefited both parties. And it cut down on the list of suspects to just one possible lead. "Turns out it only contains the wife's DNA."

"The husband's still out there." You mumbled, connecting the dots on your own. You thanked the sheriff for the tip before ending the call. You turned your gaze over to Dean, who had been trying to split his attention from you and the road. "We got to go by the police station. I think I know who’s behind all of this.” 

+ + +

Figuring out the face to the angel who was causing all of these deaths was only part of the puzzle you needed to solve in order to wrap up this hunt before someone else could get hurt. You and Dean stopped by the station to have a talk with the sheriff to hear out what else he had found out from the new lead. You looked through the documents of the wife's death certificate and the typed up police file about the actual reported crime, hoping to find something that might help pinpoint a direction to help you solve this hunt once and for all. 

"He was already a bit screwy, but then he found religion. She was a hard-line atheist, no peach herself. When he got himself obsessed with this Buddy Boyle whack job, an already bad marriage got worse." The sheriff went on about the couple that landed with the wife dead, and the husband still missing. You scoffed ever so quietly to yourself at the familiar sounding name. It all was starting to make sense now of how this mess came to be. "Kept telling her to 'let God in.'" 

"Buddy Boyle." Dean repeated the name of a preacher he heard before. You glanced up from the documents and rolled your eyes from the trouble he was causing you lately on an already crappy situation that was spiraling out of control."That explains it."

“Explains what?” The sheriff asked, feeling out of the loop from what the man was talking about. 

"Nevermind. Uh, let's see." You focused your attention back to the documents as you shuffled around the papers to try and find something actually useful. You stumbled upon a photograph that made you do a double take of the happy couple. You pointed a finger to the vehicle in the background. "Is that his truck?"

"Yep." The sheriff casually answered. 

You remembered where you saw the truck before, right when you were leaving Nora's house, the one that nearly backed into the Impala. You and Dean shared the same worried expression, coming to the possible conclusion to the worst possible outcome. Cas was in danger. If you and Dean weren't quick enough to get back to him, he might be next. 

+ + +

Trying to understand how a human deals with the influx of emotions was a complicated and difficult thing without experiencing what it was like to be one first hand, and even then it was still confusing. The smallest and kindest gesture can make someone burst with happiness, while a slight inconvenience can ruin one’s day. Cas learned slowly over time that he was just like everyone else on this planet. Nothing special without his grace, living day to day just trying to survive. And while it might seem depressing and bleak at times, it wasn't always like that. Cas learned that life wasn’t so bad being a measly human. But his brother didn’t want to see past the pain. 

His brother wanted to fix these humans and make the world a better place like he did in heaven, the place that was no longer. All the angel could feel was the endless sorrow in the world. An endless melody that called out to him, begging for relief. Cas was calling to him the loudest. The man might have been warded from all angels, but his pain was like a beacon shining down on him. It made him stick out like a sore thumb for his brother to find him and put the poor human out of his misery once and for all. But Cas wasn’t a feeble creature. He might have been without his grace to protect himself, he still had some tricks up his sleeve to keep himself alive long enough for his friends to come to his aid. 

The backdoor to Nora’s house burst open without warning, causing the conversation between Cas and his brother about his life choices to be mometairly paused, the angel wondering who was trying to ruin a special moment. It seemed you and Dean figured out on your own who was to blame for the recent deaths around town. The both of you came charging in with your angel blade in hand swinging up in the air, but you were no match against the more powerful being who easily flung you across the room. 

Dean landed roughly against the wall and into some of the baby's things, none of which broke his fall. You slid across the floor and into a dining room chair that caused you to hit your head against the wood. The blow was enough for you to forget for a moment about the blade. You tried brushing off the pain and placed the hand that had been holding the weapon to your now throbbing head. When the pain subsided enough for you to open up your eyes and figure out where the angel might have gone, you noticed his attention drifted away from Cas and to you for some reason. A bad feeling settled into your stomach at the way he was just staring...observing you. 

“What happened to you?” The angel whispered to only felt himself. You propped yourself up on your elbows as you stared up at the angel, wondering what kind of pain you must be giving off. Your life has been filled with nothing but misery and pain. But it was a pain that you couldn't see yourself. "The sorrow you're going through, it's strong. Stronger than I've felt with most. The guilt is the worst of all, isn’t it?”

Your expression shifted into a hardened expression at the things he was saying. You tried to play dumb, hoping you might be able to buy yourself some time while you figured out how to get out of this. "What the hell are you talking about?”

“You humans try so hard to hide the pain, but I can see it so clearly. You’re suffering. All of you are.” The angel went on without going into proper details about the sort of pain you were feeling at the moment. The kind that you buried deep underneath the surface for no one to see, not even yourself. A sort of sympathetic smile crossed his face at the trauma he felt off of you. "You're denying yourself the truth.” 

Dean used the angel’s distraction as a way to get the upper hand and finish this before anyone else died at the hands of unwanted mercy, or to spill any secrets that needed to remain buried deep down. He slid the blade across the floor and over to Cas, who swiftly grabbed the weapon and did what needed to be done. Killing any of his siblings never got any easier. Whenever he was forced to kill one of his siblings, it never got any easier when the numbers of their kind dwindled over the years from war and tragedy. But he couldn’t let his brother keep going on this path, there would be no end to his mercy. You quickly shielded your eyes from the sudden burst of white light when Cas plunged the blade into the angel’s chest, ending his brother's mercy killing with one of his own. 

+ + +

Turns out Cas’ evening plans turned into an accidental miscommunication between Nora and himself. She was going on a date—just not with him. Cas spent the night with Tanya, Nora’s infant daughter who was now peacefully sleeping after the commotion that went down in the kitchen not too far from her nursery. While Dean took a call from his brother outside, you helped Cas tidy things up and take care of the baby’s fever that was starting to worry him. With his grace gone, Cas couldn’t fix humans anymore with a simple touch to the forehead. Luckily for him, you had a few tricks up your sleeve to help. 

“It’s probably because she’s teething. An easy fix.” You explained to him. You spotted a few teeth poking through the baby’s gums when she let out a yawn at how she was being kept up past her bedtime. “Why don’t you go to the medicine cabinet and see if there’s any baby aspirin? That should do the trick.” 

You took Tanya out of Cas’ arms without an ounce of hesitation and began to slowly rock her back and forth when she started to grow fussy. You occupied the baby while Cas departed to the bathroom to hunt down the medicine you told him to get. He came back a minute later to see you softly cooing at the baby with smiling praises of how adorable she was. Despite never having had a child of your own, and the loss of one, you fell into the motherly figure naturally. You were a caregiver to him and the boys, even to strangers you never met before. The sight of you holding Tanya made his heart break. 

When you saw the man was back with the medicine, you grabbed the medicine and proceeded to read the instructions that would bring the fever right down.  Cas continued to watch as you handled Tanya with ease, acting naturally as she was your own. He realized that this was both of yours first moment alone together since everything happened unfolded and him leaving the bunker. There was so much he wanted to say to you. 

“You’re very good with her.” Cas wasn’t sure if what he said was the right thing. It had only been a short time ago since everything unfolded. Wounds such you had dealt with might still be sore. And what his brother had said about you burying it deep down was something you would most likely do. Sometimes that wasn’t healthy. Humans need to talk about their problems, or at least give people who they loved reassurance they weren’t dealing with these problems alone. A small smile crossed your face at the compliment. “I...I also wanted to apologize to you.” 

Your face scrunched up slightly in confusion at the sudden shift in conversation topic. “What for?”

“For not being there for you when you needed me the most. If I learned anything about being a human from you and the Winchesters, it’s that you’re there for the people you care about in crisis.” Cas said. “Dean called me from the hospital and told me what happened after you stopped doing the trials. It’s...I wish I was there.” 

You fell silent for a moment as your expression shifted into one that made Cas suddenly regret bringing it up in the first place. You put Tanya down back into her crib and turned back to him. A heavy sigh fell from your lips at what you were about to admit.

“Don’t tell Dean, but...I guess there was some truth to what the angel said back there. I’ve been beating myself up about it for weeks now about what happened. Sometimes I lie in bed and think about what it might be like if things turned a bit differently.” You said. You turned your attention to the sleeping Tanya and smiled to yourself for a brief second about how adorable she looked. “But feeling guilty over it won’t change the past. We can’t change anything about what we did. That’s something you’re going to learn pretty quickly about being human. All we can do is keep moving forward and make best with what we got, not what we lost.” 

Cas listened to your words of advice and nodded his head. He was starting to understand that no matter who he was, angel or human, no one was perfect. Mistakes were going to be made. It was just the nature of living. “You know, you don’t make such a bad human, after all.” Your compliment to the man made him chuckle for the first time tonight. 

You made your way to the door when Tanya's quiet snores came from the crib. Cas felt the need to return your compliment with one of his own. "If you ever are given the chance to be a mother, I think you would be perfect." He said. "You're a kind person, Y/N. You deserve the happiness that you seek. It might not come soon...but hopefully one day."

“Thanks, Cas.” You mumbled. You didn't know why, but the thought of becoming a mother made you suddenly grow a little bit sad at the prospect you might not have all of this. You talked about how you thought you never would or want to have a child, but deep down, you were lying to yourself. It was a bitter sadness that you buried deep down. You looked over at the crib and let out a quiet sigh. "That means a lot."

Back outside with Dean, his conversation with his brother was turning out to be less comforting than the one you had with Cas. He leaned against the hood of the Impala and listened to the night he had with Kevin and Crowley, hoping there might have been some good news sprinkled in there somewhere. It turned out to be the worst outcome Dean could think of. He took the truth Crowley gave his brother with a grain of salt. The demon had been less helpful to them in the past without getting something out of them. Dean highly doubted the self isolation treatment the demon was being given softened him up. Sam was confident Crowley was telling the truth. 

"No, Dean, not this time." Sam told his brother the hard truth all of you were going to have to come to terms with. "Look, Metatron built the spell to withstand any attempt to reverse it. There is no putting the angels back in heaven. It's done.”

The older Winchester let out a heavy sigh from what this news meant for someone. He finished up the call with his brother the exact moment you accidentally spooked him when you placed a hand on his arm. You smiled at his reaction before it slowly faltered at the sight of his face. Dean told you the same news Sam had given him over the phone about the mess that seemed to be unfixable. Your mind immediately went to the one person who was going to handle it the hardest, and who it affected the most. "Are you gonna tell Cas?"

The poor guy already was beating himself up badly about the situation that he caused, and all he wanted to do was undo his mistakes. But it seemed there was no way of putting things back together the way it once was. There were just some problems you couldn't fix. Out of anyone, you understood that the most.

+ + +

Every part of you wanted to keep Cas around and offer him a chance to have a proper place to call his home back at the bunker. But there were circumstances you would eventually learn that kept him from doing so. For now you remained in the dark about the reason why, thinking it was Cas’ personal choice to do as such. Cas had made a life of his own in this little town and seemed to be enjoying himself. It was just how it was going to be for now until things got better. if that was even possible anymore. 

The final stop for Cas was back at the convenience store before his shift started. You conveniently excused yourself for a quick pit stop to the restroom before you and Dean headed back on the road to the bunker. It gave Dean a perfect chance to have a conversation with his friend about how things had to be. 

"Listen, Cas, back at the bunker, I'm sorry I told you to go." Dean started off with an apology that felt like it needed to be said. "I know it's been hard on you, you know, on your own. Somehow you're adapting. I know Y/N's been worried about you, but it makes her happy seeing you do good. And, honestly, I'm proud of you."

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said. Hearing words of encouragement from his friends brought a small ounce of happiness to him, but it only lasted for a short while, something else was weighing heavy on his mind that felt he needed to discuss. He glanced out the window before back to the hunter. "But there's something Ephraim said. The angels--they need help. Can I really sit this one out? Shouldn't I be searching for a way to get them home?"

"Don't worry. Me, Y/N and Sam, we'll take care of the angels." Dean reassured his friend, releasing him of the burden. "You're human now. It's not your problem anymore."

Dean never got around to telling Cas the information Sam told him. He should've. It was probably the right thing to do. But he couldn't get himself to do that, not to the poor guy who was already feeling down. He didn't lie, he just glossed over the truth. Refrained from giving all of the truth. It was becoming a habit lately with him—not telling the whole truth. Dean kept telling himself it was for the best. 

He forgot that the truth will always come out. There was no lie or feeling that a person can bury deep enough to keep it from seeing the light. Eventually it was going to come back and haunt him. 

Rewrite Taglist:

@deansquirreljerkwinchester // @everything-i-tried-was-taken // @starswirlblitz // @supernaturalismydrug // @we-are-band-sexuals // @angiewinchestercas // @kaylinfayezink  // @owhatshername1 // @kgbrenner  // @cleo-is-my-doggy // @eeyore1988 // @dakota-dream // @lilylovelyxo // @timetravelingginger // @holahellohialoha //   @quicksilver123456 // @natashacamillas //@lexi-anastasia //@kaylinfayezink //  @deanwnchstr @albot-eh // @rashinyx2002 // @shellybeans //  @icantfindacreativeurl //  @becs-bunker // @oreosatmidnight // @bands-and-shietz // @fabulousmustachesonapolarbear // @clarewinchester // @releasethekracko // @alex-zeppelin // @mega-mrs-dean-winchester // @theskytraveler // @notmoose94 //@assassinofmasyaf // @caswinchester2000 // @savannah-m-99 // @sunlight-dean // @strayrosesbloom // @that-slytherin-over-there // @1000roughdrafts // @its-medeanwinchester // @simplyhemmings // @dream-believe-and-love // @that-winged-rat

Message me if you would like to be added!

[being-worthy]

Saturday Home Cinema: Mulan (2020) - A very honest review!

I just had to write this review because Mulan is one of my heroes and I’m a huge fan of the original Disney Mulan (1998). I saw the movie for the first time as a kid when I had trouble feeling integrated and was daily bullied at school. I re-watched it again and again and again until I was able to learn by heart the script and all the songs in German (and later on, even in English). I just saw so much of myself in Mulan (maybe except for the fact that I’m not as beautiful or witty as she is). I too always felt out of place and I couldn’t be my true self and I was never very ladylike either. I also looked up at her and saw her as a role model. Sometimes I thought that if I stared long enough at my reflection in the mirror, it’d show me my true self - and I’m still waiting to this day… Disney’s 1998 version of Mulan was and still is my favourite Disney movie.

> SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!! <

The best thing about this movie is the soundtrack, especially at the end. Christina Aguilera was the right choice to sing Reflection and Loyal Brave True. The goosebumps her voice gives, I can’t even describe how extraordinary her voice is. In the end credits, you can listen to the English version of Reflection as well as the Chinese version (sadly sung by Liu Yifei  ¬¬). It’s worth to watch the end credits and listen to the songs.

*My suggestion: Stop whatever you’re doing. Put on some headphones (even better if they’re noise-cancelling), close your eyes, play the song Reflection song (and Loyal Brave True if you feel like it) by Christina Aguilera, no distractions no interruptions, forget about everything and everyone, let the song flow through your ears, mind, heart, body, and soul, and you will feel like you’re Mulan, especially when the drumming gets louder, it’s epically epic! (Sorry for the redundancy but it IS a remarkable song!)

I welcome the idea of wanting to take a classic and do something new, something fresh with it but humanity could’ve gone without this movie and they shouldn’t ask for $35 to watch it on Disney+ and sometimes a classical doesn’t need to be redone. Additionally, I can’t entirely understand what’s going on these past years not only with Disney but Hollywood and all other big movie production companies. It’s either remake of this classic or a 2nd/3rd sequel of a movie that doesn’t actually require a sequel but it’s still done anyway. Why even bother wasting big amounts of money to create a disaster? You’re better of donating that money to charity (or to me lol). The main thing that Disney has been doing lately are remakes of many of our childhood movies Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo, The Jungle Book, The Lion King, among others, and now Mulan. Some have a few good parts in them but they still can’t and never will compare to the original. Why is there no originality and innovation anymore? Have they run out of ideas? Furthermore, let’s be honest people will always compare the remake (either consciously or unconsciously) with the original because there are less than a dozen movies where the remake either was (almost) as good as the original much less better than the original. The movie Mulan (2020) had a massive budget and is the most expensive film made by a female director (Niki Caro), yet how they made it, the battle sequences and CGI effects, etc. they’re all crappy.

Budgets of all Mulan interpretations:

Mulan (1998) - $90 million > Directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. Made $304.3 million in the box office

Hua Mulan (2009) - $12 million > Directed by Jingle Ma. Sadly, made only $1.8 million in the box office. It deserved more love!

Mulan (2020) - $200 million(!!) > All that budget was a waste!

I’ve seen all three versions. The 1998 version is for everybody and it’s funny and you feel with the characters and the film. Let’s be honest, the granny is one of the best characters, most of us have or had a granny like that in our lives. The 2nd one is a 2-hour long movie, a more mature adaption which illustrates the ugly harsh truth about war and the loss and death it brings with it and that there’s nothing funny or cool about it. This one is not suitable for children. You feel with the characters and their sacrifices and they also develop along the movie. I can only recommend to watch this version if you haven’t. And the latest one is a disgrace.

I’m a bit confused as to what the message of the movie is. On one hand, it tells you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty, you shouldn’t hide who you are, you shouldn’t hide your abilities, you shouldn’t try to hide who you truly are in order to conform to what the world/society wants you to be or who you should be, let your true self shine and be yourself and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you’re inferior just because they think/say you are. This is something powerful and admirable but, on the other hand, at the same time, it tells you that you can only do that if you are the chosen one. Let me explain... In the beginning, we see Mulan as a little girl chasing a chicken up to the roofs of the houses at the village where she lives. Basically, she’s born as a one-woman army (almost deus ex machina) and doesn’t require any further training which is total and utter rubbish. She has all the skills because of her powerful chi (vital life force energy) but has to underplay them because it’s not very ladylike to behave like she wants to and she still underplays them when she trains with the soldiers so as to keep a low profile. Her being so powerful from the beginning makes me feel alienated from her and I can’t empathise with her. It’s also not very realistic, nobody is born with their abilities fully developed. For example, even Bruce Lee had to train hard to get where he got and he wasn’t the only one.

The original version shows us a regular girl, at times clumsy (which is a cliché but we still liked it) and when she’s confronted with new situations, she analyses them and finds a quick canny solution to them. She also has to train her body and mind to get to the peak of her potential and accomplish what nobody else could in her time, and here the character is done from the start of the movie and the only thing she has to do is choose not to hide her chi anymore. This tells us that you don’t have to work hard to achieve your dreams whereas in reality you actually do have to work your butt off!

I’m not a fan of the leading actress they chose for Mulan, aka Liu Yifei, not only because she’s a police brutality supporter according to her controversial tweets a while back - this already makes her unworthy to portray Mulan who is the complete opposite - but also because she didn’t do a good job at depicting this great role. Mulan is a role model for every girl and woman and it’s a massive contradiction if a woman who agrees to the atrocious police methods impersonates her role. What message do we send out to every girl out in the world? In her acting she’s this blank and hollow person through the movie and transmits no emotion whatsoever - not even when she cries. This also makes it difficult for me to identify myself with her. She’s this wooden plank, she is and stays a blank canvas through the whole movie with no growth in her character and it’s frustrating having to see this because the character of Mulan isn’t at all like this. Mulan experiences many emotions from the moment where she makes the decision to enlist so her father doesn’t have to or when she experiences the loss of her comrades or has to kill someone for the first time, etc. she suffers along her journey and all this changes her but you see nothing of it in Liu Yifei’s Mulan.

In the Disney version, there are some crucial moments that are missing in the new one. For instance, the most crucial one is the moment where Mulan decides to go to war. If you remember the animation one, she’s sitting in the rain by the dragon statue and at that moment makes a decision that could kill her or worse bring dishonour to herself and her entire family (including ancestors) which was far worse than death during that time! She gets up, marches to the altar of her ancestors, takes her father’s sword and cuts her hair (I know men had long hair back then too but still), puts on the armour and goes to war. All this while being accompanied by an epic song written by Jerry Goldsmith called Haircut. This is one of the most intense and dramatic moments in the movie and in all Disney movies! You can understand and feel the importance of this decision for the character and you feel the weight of it! In the 2020 one, she takes the sword and the next shot presents her already with the armour on - there’s zero dramatic impact here. That was a great missed opportunity!! By omitting important scenes and their dramatic impacts like this one that are essential to the story and to the characters, to their development and their journey throughout the story and you really need to rely on the original from 1998 to have this context.

The battle scenes are like many modern movies: lots of action, lots of moving (too fast-moving), a few amazing fighting moves and fights but not showed entirely. I at least expected some similar quality, like we’ve seen in films such as Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Tiger & Dragon (2020) to name a few. Sadly, these movies had better fight scenes quality than Mulan which were filmed in high frame rate but over-edited with action that is negatively frenetic and have artificial CGI effects (even the CGI effects in Independence Day were better - I’m watching the movie while writing this). We’re in the 21st century with great advances in technology and movies are given big budgets (particularly Hollywood films), yet despite all this, most movies end up with CGI effects from another era. How come this happens over and over? In this one, we see people running too fast, horses running too fast, and they’re all like a big mass of headless chickens and you don’t know exactly what is happening where. All this fast running, the constant cut and paste of scenes looks all too modern and doesn’t fit the current time period of the movie and it surely doesn’t transmit the way of fighting of that period. 

Moreover, we get lots of flashback-lesson learning scenes throughout the movie. This is another fashion in movies lately, playing the film in the present time while at the same time jumping back and forth between flashbacks. It spends a good portion of the movie with these flashbacks. This is not a big issue and admirable per se but when these scenes are insignificant because they’re glossed over and transmitted without zilch emotion, then why even bother to include them in the first instance?

As a last comment, I like the fact that they hired Chinese actors and actresses for the movie (although I don’t know why it had to be in English, I’d have preferred it to be in Chinese, it’s not like we’re allergic to subtitles - unless they’re not done properly), some of them of renewed name, like Gong Li, Rosalind Chao (I loved her in The Joy Luck Club), Jet Li, Donnie Yen (legendary Ip Man), Jason Scott Lee (saw him in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Tzi Ma but they won’t be able to save the movie even with a great cast like this one. 

[hopes4gf]

Thievery and Mischief- (a descendants/marvel crossover)

After the tour, I decide to pay a little visit to my friends at Auradon Prep, Tia and Tavian, my favorite twins from Louisiana and drama club captains.

”Yo, Adri! What’s up?” Tavian says.

”Long time no see, how y’all doing?” I ask.

”Good now that there’s some peace and quiet,” Tia says, looking up towards the top of the stage.

”Not my fault you guys are so boring,” A voice says from the rafters.

I look up and see a guy with large wings, almost like a bird’s.

He stares at me, his eyes widening and suddenly he swoops down. 

“Holy crap, you’re Adri Ababwa. I’m a big fan,” The guy says now standing in front of me.

”Nice wings man,” I say.

”Thanks, I grew them myself. Mutant powers y’know?” Angel says.

”Mutants?” I ask.

”My dad is a fairy, my mom is a sorceress. I’m Angel, by the way,” He says.

”Angel...by any chance are you the Bell twins’ cousin?” I ask.

He nods.

”They talk about you all the time, I see why now,” I say.

”It’s rare to see mutants in families. Some have wings, have claws in their hands, can shapeshift, that’s probably why I look up to you,” Angel says.

”Cause I can shapeshift into a tiger?” I ask.

”Exactly,” Angel says.

Tia and Tavian stare at us confusedly.

”Power talk,” I say.

The bell rings and the twins collect their things.

”Ooh, Tia! When’s the next time your mom can make me some of her famous gumbo?” I ask.

”If you come with me now, we can stop by her restaurant,” Tia says.

I turn to Angel.

”Wanna come?” I ask.

”Sure,” Angel says.

————

After meeting Angel, I learned some things about mutants and their abilities. This lesson was pretty enlightening and made me feel like I wasn't alone with my curse.

Later, I get a call from a number I don't recognize while walking through the gardens. I pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I say through the phone.

"Hey, Adri. It's been a while," A familiar voice says through the phone.

I recognize the voice to be Stefani, or Lady Gaga through the phone.

"Oh my gosh, Stefani! It's such an honor to talk to you again," I say happily. 

I sit under the usual gossip tree to take the call.

"I know. Anyways, darling, I have a little project for you. You're someone who I love and hold dear as an artist, so I want to collaborate with you on a couple of songs for a movie I'm producing a soundtrack for," Stefani says.

"You want to collaborate with me for a motion picture soundtrack?" I ask.

"Mark Ronson is also gonna help and a couple of people from my team too. I was also looking in the credits for your album and I saw your boyfriend did the mixing for a couple of songs. I was hoping you and him might want to tag along on this," Stefani adds.

"I'm sure he would e happy to, but for now all I can say is yes to you on my own behalf. I would absolutely love to," I say with a smile.

"Great! I'll text you meeting details on Friday," Stefani says.

"Great!" I say.

I hang up the phone and giggle. I feel like screaming for joy. So many great things are happening! I guess that's what happens when you hit rock-bottom, you only go up from there. And now, everything is looking up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walk to the gym where I find Jay with Lonnie and the rest of the fencing team.

”Take a break, boys!” Lonnie says, blowing her new captain’s whistle.

Jay spots me by the doors and walks over with a smile on his face.

”Hey, babe,” He greets.

Before he can kiss me, I put my finger over his lips.

”We have songs to write for Gaga,” I say with a smile.

Jay’s smile drops.

”Gaga? As in, Lady Gaga? Grammy award winner, Gaga?” Jay asks.

”She just called me and she wants us to write her songs for a movie,” I say.

Jay smiles widely and lifts me of the ground, hugging me tightly. 

“Jesus, why didn’t you tell me sooner? That’s great! What if we win as Oscar or a Grammy or even a Teen choice award? I’m so proud of you,” Jay rants.

I laugh at his reaction to the news.

”Why is Jay smiling like that?” Lonnie asks, coming up to us.

”We get to write music for Lady Gaga,” Jay says proudly.

Lonnie’s jaw drops.

”Congratulations! You deserve it for making such good songs for her album,” Lonnie says, patting Jay’s shoulder.

”Nah, the real mastermind is Adri. Her lyrics and her voice made the songs much more beautiful,” Jay says.

I blush softly and punch his arm shyly.

”Shut up,” I mutter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Jay’s practice, we follow Lonnie to Coach Jenkin’s office.

”There's my favorite captains!” Coach says.

“Oh shush, we know we’re good,” I say with a smirk.

I first bump Lonnie.

”Speaking of Captains, I got word of your schedule changes,” He says, pointing to me and Jay.

”Even though these changes have been made, I still think you’d be able to advise your teams. Especially you, Jay, since Ben is out of action,” Coach explains.

”Are you promoting me?” Jay asks.

”I’m making you Captain of the Tourney team, Jay,” Coach says.

Jay’s jaw drops.

”No way,” Jay says in shock.

“Looks like things are looking up, JJ,” I say with a smile.

Jay’s mouth morphs into a smirk.

”Damn right,” He says.

Coach gives us a soft smile.

”You guys can celebrate or something, but on Monday, I expect you all to adjust,” Coach says.

”Yeah,” We all agree.

Suddenly, the announcements go off.

”Adri Ababwa, please report to Fairy Godmother’s office,” The announcement says.

”Did you get your skateboard taken again?” Jay asks.

”How many times are you gonna get that thing confiscated?” Lonnie asks, rolling her eyes.

”It’s in my locker, chill. I have no idea,” I say, getting up from my seat.

I walk through the door and walk to the office.

I walk into the headmistress’s office and I see Mal and Ben with Fairy Godmother.

”Long time no see,” I say to Ben and Mal.

”Glad you’re here,” Ben says, hugging me.

”We called you here because Mal has a proposal for you,” Fairy Godmother explains.

“Rogers stepped down from his position,” Mal says.

My smile fades. Steve Rogers? Family friend, Avengers, Steve?

”Steve stepped down from Captain? Why?” I ask.

“He and Tony had a dispute after Voltron in Germany. I’ve tried to keep a temporary position since Uma came into the Isle, but we need more troops. I think you’d be the best for it because of your powers and experience. And plus, you're already trusted on the court,” Mal explains.

”Mal, I’d be honored to. But I have to find a way to fit it into my schedule. The only free time I have is around now,” I say.

”So, then you can clock in at 5 and finish at 8,” Ben says.

”It's an intensive training role. You’d pick up recruits, train them, and go to the dungeons,” Ben says.

”Not bad,” I think.

”Fine, I’ll do it,” I say.

”Thank you so much,” Mal says with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walk into the base of operations and spot a familiar face. Bucky Barnes, Steve’s best friend, and newest Avenger.

”Hey, metal arm,” I joke.

”Thank god you’re here,” Bucky says, spotting me.

He gives me a side hug.

”What the hell is wrong with Steve?” I ask him.

”Steve doesn’t agree with the new laws set by Rhodes and the Marshall. Since Sokovia, they wanna add restrictions on our powers because of the explosion and because of that telekinesis girl,” Bucky says.

”I mean they did destroy the city too,” I mention.

”The reason for Tony’s nightmares,” Bucky recalls.

”He has nightmares?” I ask.

”Yeah, if Loki ever comes back, he’ll have a malfunction,” Bucky says.

”Let’s hope that his arc reactor surgery saves him,” I say.

Bucky laughs, remembering he doesn’t have a heart.

”Anyways, let me show you around. So, this is the center of the base, here we have our tanks, our fake grenades, our armory, and training center,” Bucky explains.

”And the troops?” I ask.

”I think that’s your job to cause the first commotion,” Bucky says, handing me a grenade.

”Watch this, grandpa,” I say, taking the grenade from his hands. 

I toss the grenade into a group of guys.

They all huddle near the grenade trying to cover it and push each other away.

”Hey! What the hell are you sons if bitches doing? If you see an enemy grenade, you take cover!” I yell.

”The hell is this bitch?” One of the guys asks.

”Bitch? I’m not anyone’s bitch, and for the record, I’m your new Captain,” I say.

The troops all mutter and scoff at each other.

”Go home, kid! You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re gonna train us,” Another guy says.

”What’re your names?” I ask the guys.

They both look at me like I’m dumb.

”I’m Jack. This is Lio,” Jack says.

”I’m promoting you,” I say.

They both look at each other in shock.

”Both of you are now my Lieutenants. You’re gonna spend the majority of training by my side. Whoever are Lieutenants, you’re demoted. If there’s anything I know about being a soldier, you’d fight any fight or anyone to make it to the top. As I train each of you, you must be following my direct orders only. I will watch you all carefully and see if any of you demonstrate proper soldiers' skills. That will determine if you are my second in command. New recruits will all be promoted in place of older ones. As long as you keep up with your task, you’re safe. Any bullshit, you’re out, understand?” I say.

”Yes ma’am,” The Troops say.

I grab a sword from a barrel and I throw it at Lio.

”Get to work,” I order.

The troops go to their assigned positions and Lio and Jack come towards me.

”Who the hell are y-“ Lío starts.

”Bro, that's Adri Ababwa,” Jack explains.

”The artist?” Lio asks.

“Yeah, I’m a huge fan and I’m so fucking sorry about the way I acted earlier,” Jack apologizes.

”It’s fine, I don’t take shit personally. At least anymore,” I say.

”Bruh, you called her a bitch,” Lio comments.

”Shut up,” Jack mutters.

”Listen, I can already tell you two are friends. So please make this easy for me and shut the fuck up and listen,” I say honestly.

”You know you remind me a lot of Rogers,” Jack says.

”We’re friends,” I say.

”You’re friends with Steve Rogers?” Lio asks.

”Yes, now listen up. We’re gonna do some tactical work. You’re gonna go through the grass here with your rifles, your gonna shoot three birds and bring them to me. Got it?” I order.

”Yes ma’am,” They say.

They then pick up their rifles and crouch through the grass.

They miss every shot when birds pass by. One of them lands on Lio’s head and he coos the bird. I roll my eyes at his action. Then, Jack shoots two birds at once. My eyes widen at his shot. They fall into the grass and he picks them up. Lio shoots a bird and it falls slowly.

”That's one big bird,” Lio comments. 

As it falls to the ground I notice it’s not a bird. 

“Are fucking stupid? That’s a human, not a bird!” Jack shouts. 

I run quickly under the person and they fall in my arms.

”Angel? Jesus, are you okay?” I realize.

The metal winged man winces in pain. I realize his hip is bleeding.

”Lio, what the hell is wrong with you? You shot him in the ribs,” I say.

I place him in the grass and reach for Jack’s medkit. He hands it to me and I open it up. I take a pair of tweezers and some alcohol.

”Sit still,” I advise.

I pry the bullet from his hip slowly and Angel grits his teeth from the pain. The bullet comes out cleanly and I put alcohol on the wound and wrap it up.

”Can you fly?” I ask him.

”Sure,” Angel says.

He uses his wings to fly up straight.

”Now who the fuck mistook me for a hunting duck?” Angel asks.

Jack points to Lio.

”Come on, man,” Lío says exasperatedly to Jack.

”Terrible shot,” Angel comments.

Then he takes the gun from Lio’s hand and shoots a bird. The shot is clean and the bird falls quickly to the grass.

”That's how you shoot,” Angel says, picking up the bird from the grass.

He’s good. And he’s got those wings too. 

“Hey, Angel? You got anything to do after school?” I ask him.

”No,” He scoffs.

”Would you be interested in being a troop?” I ask him.

”What?” Lio and Jack ask.

”Well, I’ve got nothing else to do,” Angel says.

I smirk and pat his shoulder.

Later, I give Angel his new uniform and make him another Lieutenant. We continue tactical shooting until sunset.

I then search the premises of the base and look at the other troops. They whisper and smirk as I pass by. Some troops, practice grenade launching, shooting positions, fencing. I think to myself:

”Maybe this is something Jay would be interested in hearing.”

I smirk to myself as I think about how successful Jay has been so far in his time in Auradon. I walk into the training center and spot Bucky talking to a troop.

”Hey, how was your first day?” Bucky asks.

”Could’ve been better, but it means progress,” I say with a soft smile.

”Good to know you’re a hard hitter instead of a soft princess. Kind of like your mom,” Bucky says.

”Don’t mention me and my mom in the same sentence, you 100-year-old soldier. That’s like putting you and Steve in the same sentence about ice,” I say, rolling my eyes.

”Shut the hell up,” Bucky says punching my arm with his regular fist.

”You ever punch me with your vibranium arm, I will kill you,” I warn.

Bucky laughs and leaves me alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day at school, Angel and I decided to sit together at lunch. We talk about training and new things I could teach the troops. As we talk about ammunition I spot Jay talking to Ruby Fitzherberg, Rapunzel’s daughter. I see her pressing upon him and twirling her blonde hair. Jay uncomfortably tries to walk away.

”Oh god,” I say, rolling my eyes.

”God what?” Angel asks me.

”Jay is with Ruby,” I say.

”Ruby? The girl who slept with five guys at once? You better scoop your man before she gets him,” Angel advises.

”How do you know that?” I ask.

”What? I’m gay. Of course, I know,” Angel explains.

My eyes widen at his words.

”Huh?” I ask dumbfoundedly.

”I said what I said, I’m gay,” Angel says.

I blink in confusion and stand up from the bench. 

I walk over to Jay and Ruby and sling my arm around his shoulder. 

“Hey guys,” I say.

”Adri! Nice to see you after you dealt with Angel in the theatre,” Ruby says.

”You were there? I didn’t see you or hear your annoying voice,” I say with a smirk.

”I was just asking Jay whether or not he likes my new hair,” Ruby says flirtatiously towards Jay, ignoring my words.

”Um, it looks the same,” I say.

”That’s what I said,” Jay agrees.

”Come on, I cut it 4 inches!” Ruby says playfully hitting Jay’s arm.

”Excuse me, can you not put your hands on him?” I ask her.

”Why not?” Ruby asks.

”It’s super clear that he’s uncomfortable,” I say.

”No he’s not,” Ruby replies bitterly.

Ruby turns to Jay.

”Adri, can we go?” Jay asks.

”Gladly,” I say through gritted teeth.

I grab Jay’s arm and we walk back to my table.

”Who’s this?” Jay asks, seeing Angel.

”This is Lieutenant Angel, the guy Ruby was talking about,” I say.

”Jay. Jay Farr, I’ve heard quite a bit about you from Adri,” Jay says.

”I’ve heard a lot about you too,” Angel says.

”Anyways, you saw what I saw right?” I ask Angel.

”Um, obviously. Ruby has absolutely no self-control. Hey, I’m gay by the way and if you ever and I mean EVER dump her, you’re either getting a Louboutin heel to the face or a date with me,” Angel says.

I scoff at his remarks.

”What? He’s hot,” Angel compliments.

”Thanks, man but I have plans with this girl so...no thanks,” Jay says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

”Like I was saying, Ruby thinks she is all preppy and cool when she’s totally out of line for that shit,” I say to Angel.

”What did she do exactly?” Jay asks, peeking in the conversation.

”She was flirting with you- anyways I try to be sane one...”

”And you’re complaining why?” Jay asks in between my words.

Angel snickers to himself. I glare at Jay.

”You. Are. Mine. End of story,” I say through gritted teeth.

Jay laughs to himself after I speak. 

“Jeez, you’re jealous! I didn’t actually think you’d slide into the conversation because of that,” Jay laughs.

”With your tendencies, it was so obvious that you were uncomfortable but when I walked over you played into it! It was so clear,” I say frustratedly.

Jay continues to laugh at my responses. I look over at Angel and rolls his eyes.

”She feels like your toying with her and she doesn’t like it,” Angel blurts out.

Jay stops laughing and his smile drops. He turns to see me.

I play with the underside of my nail, trying not to look at Jay.

”Is that true?” Jay asks.

”I don’t know. Maybe I just feel like at any moment you could be suddenly interested in some other girl who’s better than I am,” I mutter.

Jay puts a hand on my thigh and I turn to face him.

”Baby, why would I make plans with you if I didn’t love you or care about you enough to stay with you?” Jay asks.

I blush lightly and shrug.

”It’s because I think your worth every minute of my life,” Jay says sincerely.

I smile softly and I kiss his cheek.

”That's cute,” Angel says.

”Shut up,” I giggle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A month later,

”Tell me something, boy. Aren’t you tired try to- Fuck what rhymes with that?” I sing, stopping mid-way to think.

”Void?” Stefani suggests.

”Damn it, why is it so hard to write a love song without having the word love in it?” I ask exasperatedly.

”Cause it’s impossible?” Jay suggests.

”It is possible. We’ve just got two weeks to figure it out,” Stefani says, sitting back down in her chair.

Jay puts out his hand for me to pass him the guitar.

”How about we just repeat a couple of lines?” Jay says, receiving the guitar.

“Tell me something, boy, aren’t you tired of trying to fill that void?

or do you need more?” He starts.

”Aint it hard keeping it so hardcore?”  Stefani finishes.

”Yes! That’s it,” I say, writing it down.

We’re about to finish the last song of the motion picture and we’re almost done. But the lyrics keep falling apart.

”Maybe Bradley should just come in here and help us,” I suggest.

We call in Stefani’s co-star, Bradley and he sits.

”What’s the dilemma?” He asks.

”We need more ears. So, how about it?” Jay asks.

Jay hands Bradley the guitar.

”Shit, I’ve only been in classes for a month,” Bradley hesitates.

”You can do it,” Stefani says confidently.

youtu.be/MUX4ZWkDS-s

Bradley starts to strum the chords of the song. I hand Stefani our brainstorm journal and they both look at our lyrics.

They sing the parts of the song effortlessly. At one part, Stefani improvises and nails the part.

They finish and Jay and I clap.

”That was movie magic at its finest! Now, let’s record it, mix it, and then off we go,” I say.

We all get up from our seats to start working on our parts.

Jay and I lay down the mixing and Bradley and Stefani record. And just for fun, Stefani plays a piano version and we end up recording that too.

Later that night, we come home absolutely exhausted.

I plop onto my dorm room bed and sigh. I look up at my ceiling and see the moonlight peeking through my curtain. The bed sinks and I turn to see Jay lying there next to me, looking at the curtains.

”Long days at work, huh?” Jay asks me.

”I took off training to do that, so, yes,” I say.

We both paused in silence for a minute.

”Hey,” Jay speaks up.

”Yeah?”

”Do you think we’ll get nominated for anything?” Jay asks.

”Probably,” I say, thinking out loud.

”You know. I’m glad you asked me to start making music with you. It’s like something I can remember about you...like our own special thing, you know?” Jay says.

”Yeah. By the way, Stefani was the one who asked for you. Not me,” I say.

”Really? I didn’t think that would ever happen,” Jay says in surprise.

I chuckle at his reaction. I turn to my side and wrap my arm around his body. He does the same, pulling me closer to his chest by gripping my waist.

”Baby, where do you see us in the next year?” Jay asks.

I furrow my brows in confusion.

”I mean. Do you think we’ll be together after senior year next year?” Jay asks.

”I mean, we’ve had no problems with our career schedules so far. Sure we had the situation with Lonnie but luckily I’m that wasn’t real,” I say.

Jay laughs at my recollection.

”I’m sorry for that,” Jay chuckles.

”I know. Anyways, I actually believe we could be traveling, making songs, doing couples interviews and photoshoots, and maybe I can have you come to Agrabah and convince my parents to help us get married?” I suggest.

”Married? You wanna marry me?” Jay asks.

”I mean, we need a new heir in the bloodline. And I don’t think Aziz wants to settle down or rule the kingdom yet,” I say.

Jay chuckles to himself for a minute. He scoops down and places a kiss on my forehead.

”Why can’t we do that now then?” Jay asks.

My eyes widen at his words. I blink twice adjusting to his reaction.

”You wanna do all that now?” I ask him.

”Why not? If that means I get to spend the rest of my life with your crazy ass? Definitely,” Jay agrees.

A smile morphs on my face and I jump up to get my phone.

I dial my mom’s number.

”Ma, it’s Adri. We’ve gotta make some plans...”

3,858 words

[elisaphoenix13]

Claws Of Blackened Memories

When he opened his eyes, it was dark in the room. That wasn't what had him on edge though...something just didn't feel right. He sat up to better assess his surroundings and that was when he felt it.

The unmistakable weight of a shock collar.

He panicked. Even though he knew it was pointless to struggle and try to get it off, he still tried. He yelped when he received a shock for his troubles and then flinched away when hands started sliding up his body. They weren't the warm, strong hands he was accustomed to...no...he knew these hands and it terrified him. They were smaller, cold...and when he looked up, he found himself looking into dark, manic-filled eyes. He tried to scream at her or get away, but to his horror he couldn't speak or move.

Had his rescue been a dream? How long had he been in her clutches? Was his mind so broken that it tried to soothe him with images of his family in a desperate attempt to hold on to the last sliver of sanity he had? If so, he couldn't decide if it was cruel to do that and then bring him back to this nightmare, or if it was crueler to not give him any kind of serenity in the first place.

He supposed his mind was doing him a favor. But how long had it been now? Another few weeks? Months? Had they given up looking for him? Had they looked at all?

Had Quill given up?

"Isn't this easier? I can make you feel so good." Her voice made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he finally managed to move enough to kick her away.

"Get off of me!" He yells.

Bad idea. The mania in her dark eyes intensified and she pulled out the remote to his shock collar and flipped the switch and the pain that followed was excruciating. His skin was already tarnished and burned and the strong currents she sent through him was making his neck flare up with a vengeance. He screamed from the pain and mentally begged for release. For oblivion.

He wanted to die.

As if the electrocution wasn't enough, he was being yelled at. She was screaming his name and then...it started to sound warped. Started to sound male.

"Scott!"

He startles out of his dream with another scream and shaking violently and he jumps away when he sees her standing over his bed.

"Get away from me!" He yells and starts grasping at his throat to try and get the collar off again.

"Grab his hands. He's hurting himself." A voice cuts through his panic and his eyes widen when his wrists are grabbed and pulled away from his neck.

"Nonono! Take it off!" He sobs out.

He could hear someone talking to him but he was too worried about the pain. He just wanted it to stop, but whenever he struggled to free himself, it was all for naught. When some light finally fills the room, he looks around the room with his heart still pounding and finds that the one holding his hands is Bruce. Stephen was next to him and looking back at him after turning on the bedside lamp and then frowned.

"Scott." The sorcerer repeats gently. "You're home. You're safe."

Scott continues to tremble as he takes in his new environment. They were still in their pajamas and it was still dark out, but he was home in his own bed. The dream...the nightmare...was so real--

"I am?" He finally whispers and relief courses through him when Bruce finally releases his wrists.

He held them close to his chest and pulled his knees to his chest in an attempt to make himself smaller. He saw Emir pacing by the bed, agitated from not being able to see whatever was scaring his human, and by his door he saw Cassie. The poor girl looked hurt and was on the verge of tears and that's when Scott realized the woman that was standing over his bed was actually his daughter.

He had yelled at her.

"Scott...how long has this been going on?" Stephen asks, pulling the thief's attention back to him.

Scott flinches away minutely when Bruce leans closer to inspect his neck. "...since the first day Quill was gone overnight after I came home." He admits with a whisper.

"Two years?!"

Stephen and Bruce look at each other and then Bruce opens the first aid kit that Stephen gives him. Scott flinches violently when the alcohol wipe touches his neck, but after being told that he had scratched himself quite a bit and that it was necessary, he endured it. It burned like hell and he wanted to cry again but he didn't want to worry Cassie anymore.

"Does the dream reoccur every time you go to sleep?"

Scott swallows and winces from the pain. "Just when Quill is gone."

Stephen nods and mutters something to Bruce who nods and gets up with the first aid kit and leaves the room. The sorcerer then gently takes Scott's arm and pulls him off the bed and leads him out. Emir follows diligently as Scott is led up to the penthouse (after Stephen tells Cassie to go back to bed), and the thief hesitantly climbs into bed when they get to the master bedroom. Stephen had to do a bit of climbing to get in the middle of him and Tony, and then it turned into a tight fit when Emir insisted on sleeping next to Scott. Athena grunted a little grumpily but laid her head back down once everyone was settled and Scott curled close to the tiger.

He miraculously slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

When he woke up the next morning, he and Emir had the bed to themselves and the bedroom was void of the couple that slept in it as well as the babies and the wolf. Scott got out of bed tiredly and when he opened the door, he was met with quiet conversation between Tony, Stephen, and even Sam.

"PTSD." Sam says softly. "I honestly thought he was just used to Quill sleeping with him when I saw how tired he got whenever he was gone...I never thought to check."

"None of us did." Stephen sighs. "He didn't think to tell any of us either. We all have our nightmares, but this is extreme."

"Can you talk to him Sam?" Tony asks.

"Maybe as an on-site counselor, but I think he should see a psychiatrist. Does Quill know?"

Tony sighs. "If Quill knew I'm pretty sure he would never leave."

"I'm not crazy." Scott mumbles.

The other three look up at him and watch as he descends the stairs with Emir.

"No one said you were." Sam says. "You went through a traumatic experience. You were taken and held against your will for weeks and on top of that, you were tortured."

"You were also very sick when we finally found you." Stephen adds.

"How did you even know I was having a nightmare?" Scott asks quietly.

"Victor woke me up." Stephen says. "Then you were...shouting so loudly that when Bruce and I came to check on you, you woke Cassie when we opened your door."

Scott sighs and sits on the couch, making sure that Emir doesn't bother the sleeping baby in the swing. Most of the kids were at school, and Valerie was coloring at the coffee table quietly with her usual cartoons on. Stephen sat next to Scott and gave him a look once he got his attention again.

"We had Friday send a message to Quill. He's on his way home."

Scott frowns. "Why?! He has responsibilities--"

"The Guardians can take care of it. Right now, he needs to come home and be with you. Your nightmares are so bad that you're hurting yourself because they linger when you wake up."

Scott couldn't argue with that. Last night wasn't the first time he had clawed at his neck in an attempt to remove a non-existent collar. There was even one night he was trying to escape from Kate in his dreams that he fell out of bed and woke once he hit the floor. Even though he had these nightmares every night (or every time he closed his eyes) when Quill was at the station or out in space, Scott knew he still needed to sleep.

Scott stayed up in the penthouse until Quill returned the next afternoon. While having someone nearby helped, he still woke up in a sweat and it took getting some light in the room to chase away the remains of his nightmare for him to go back to sleep. The second the celestial got home, Tony, Stephen, and Sam sat him and Scott down and told Quill why they asked him to come home early.

He was glowing by the time he was caught up.

"Can Diana take me back? I'm going to kill that bitch again!" He growls and Scott looks at him in surprise.

"Again?"

Tony winces. "I'll spare you the details...but she's not going to take you again. Did no one tell you?"

Scott shakes his head. "No...I didn't know."

"That alone might help, but you should still see someone." Sam says.

Quill's light ebbs away and he looks at Scott. "I'll keep my outings to the station. I won't go back up until you show some improvement.

"What about the Guardians?" Scott sighs.

"They'll be fine. You're more important right now."

After Tony told them he would find a psychiatrist for Scott, Quill took Scott and Emir back down to their floor and to their room. Both Emir and Flynn were happy to join them in bed and the second Scott's head hit the pillow, he went out like a light. With Quill there, he slept all the way until the next morning without a single nightmare, and when he woke, he was still curled against the god. Quill hadn't left even though he had clearly been awake for at least a couple of hours. He just readjusted himself so he was on his back, but kept Scott tucked into his side when he turned on the TV. It was something he usually did when they were having a lazy day. Today was going to be a lazy day of comfort.

"Feeling better?" Quill asks softly when Scott stirs and lays his head on the celestial's chest.

"A little." Scott answers honestly. "The nightmares...they always feel so real. I can feel the pain so vividly...her touching me…"

Quill frowns. "Scott...she can't hurt you anymore. I personally made sure of that."

Scott could only nod. It did help a little knowing Kate was dead, but he still avoided dark-haired women whenever he went out alone. He didn't even know he was doing it until Cassie pointed it out when the two of them were out grocery shopping one day. It was instinctive. When he tried to go down an aisle a brunette woman was in, he froze up and a wave of panic overcame him and he had to turn around and avoid the aisle until she left it.

"Could you…?" Scott whispers and motions to his neck.

"Yeah."

Quill wills light into the hand of the arm he had around Scott and gently places it on the younger's neck. Once Scott feels Quill's powers soothing the pain and mending the damage he had dealt to himself a couple of nights ago, he relaxed against his husband and turned his attention to the tv.

He really hoped therapy would at least help with the nightmares.

[ravenforce]

Manhattan 4

Word Count: 3797

Pairing: Lou Miller x Fem!Reader 

Warning/s: None. Except probably some minor baiting, and tooth-rotting fluff. :)

A/N: Thank you so much for everyone who likes, and follows this story. You guys are amazing. Please leave your reactions, bloody or otherwise, on the comment section. My inbox is open too if you’d like to pop by. Oh, and please note the ff:

1. If there are any grammatical mistakes I’ve still overlooked, I apologize.

2. Also, I’m sorry if this took a while. With the pandemic COVID-19 raging throughout the world, I struggled to stay in the light for a while, and with my city going on full lockdown there was so much unrest. Rest assured, I’m keeping with the strict home quarantine. I hope you guys are too. We can beat this virus if we follow the rules for now. You know the protocol, stay safe. Stay with me.

3. For requests, I haven’t yet to write, I apologize too and again. I just can’t find inspiration to write for some characters right now.

Manhattan Parts: 1 |  2 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

(Photo not mine. Credits to the owner)

***

Saturday - New York, New York

“What is this sorcery?” Charlie said amused as he stood beside Agatha on your open kitchen.

The two assistants were so engrossed in watching Lou interact with you that they didn’t see Debbie and Rose entering the kitchen area from the other side of the apartment. 

“That, children is what you would call love,” Rose whispered dreamily yet still startled the two. Agatha blushed from being caught half gossiping.

Debbie just smiled, watching her best friend laugh so freely with you. Never did she saw Lou act in such a way with her other dalliances. She has strict rules of engagement: don’t call me, I call you; we’re not friends so they can’t be chummy with me especially in public; more importantly, they’re not my girlfriend so they can’t act like one; jealousy is a capital offence; no dates; no sleepover, Debbie recalled. Yet here is her blonde friend violating all her rules for you. 

“Careful using the L-word though,” Debbie mused before sipping her mojito. “Those two can bolt.”

“Better let them figure it out,” Rose whispered before walking away to join the party in your huge industrial living room. Charlie and Agatha nodded as they watch you kick Nine’s ass on Mario Kart, and Lou looking extremely proud of you. 

A few more rounds of continuously losing to you in both Mario Kart and Tekken 7, Nine threw her joycon on the couch. 

“This thing is rigged!” she exclaimed before collapsing on the couch next to you. You rolled your eyes playfully at her. 

“Didn’t think I’d see the day, someone would beat your ass at video games,” Daphne teased.

“You’re good, Y/N’s just simply better,” Lou added fuel to the fire, taking your attention away from Nine’s pouting. It’s not that you weren’t paying attention at her all night as she moves around gracefully, pretending to approve of the curated setup of your apartment like she wasn’t the one to help you put them together.

“Shut up,” Nine grumbled. “Your crush can be seen from outer space.”

That effectively shut the blonde up while the rest started laughing. Lou threw a pillow on Nine’s face, making everyone crack up even more. 

“Alright, children. It’s way past your bedtime,” Debbie said. “Let’s go home.” Everyone groaned but started putting on their shoes and coats before thanking you for dinner and the awesome night.

Agatha and Charlie were already waiting for the lift when everyone filed out on your hallway, except for Lou who stood way too close behind you that you could feel her hips against your ass. You fought hard not to blush as images of what those powerful hips do to you flooded your mind. Lou stretched her hand out for Debbie to take the keys to the company van they used to go to your place. Debbie accepted the keys with her eyebrows cocked. 

“I’m gonna stay and help clean up,” she intentionally husked out behind your ear. 

“Yeah right,” Rose, Tammy, Daphne and Debbie all said at the same time before walking away laughing.

“Clean up my fucking ass,” Nine drunk mumbled before Constance and Amita dragged her away but not without wishing you have a good fuck first. 

***

You nearly kicked the door closed in your haste to turn towards Lou who immediately wrapped her arms around your waist. She slowly walked you back until you’re secured against her body and the door. Your breath hitched when her hand crept down from your waist down to your ass.

“Lou,” you half-whispered, half moaned when she squeezes your backside. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” she said while peppering featherlight kisses along your jaw. “Yet.”

It’s becoming increasingly hard to focus as Lou started kissing down your neck. The last straw to your self-control was when she sucked on your pulse point. You groaned before you tugged on her soft blonde hair and pulled her face towards you. It was Lou’s turn to groan when you started kissing her with so much fervour.

She tasted like blueberries and vodka. And right at that moment, you think you could go on forever as long as she never stops kissing you. She’s simply intoxicating and extremely dangerous for your carefully constructed guard. You knew that to stop yourself from falling, you should have put a stop to your affair with the woman the moment you found out that she’s your boss. Yet here you are, still flying closer and closer to the sun.

The desire to feel her hands and her lips again overtake your need for control over all situations. How can you want anything else when Lou’s too good with you. She knew all the buttons to push to make you crave, she knew the right amount of pressure to make you squirm and shake, and she knew how you like to be touched to ensure you come undone screaming her name.

“Lou,” you moaned against her lips. You can already feel the telltale heat coiling on your belly, flow downwards and creating a huge wet patch on your Victoria Secret underwear. You swear you think Lou can smell how ready you are for her by the smirk on her face.

“Yes, love? Use your words,” she said confidently. “What do you need?”

Before you can get one word out though there’s a knock on the door.

“Y/N/N! Open up,” Tony yelled on the other side of the door.

“Fuck,” you whispered before bumping your forehead down on Lou’s shoulder.

You cursed under your breath for forgetting that your apartment is the designated nest for the Avengers in Manhattan since you’re the only one living alone. Maria, Wanda, Carol, and Nat are renting an apartment in Brooklyn while the boys are staying together in the Bronx. It extremely pleased you when your friends informed you a week prior that they all got into various programs in New York as well. Now, not so much. You forgot what a massive cock block they all are.

“I intended to but we have company,” Lou said seductively before completely untangling herself from you to open the door.

***

“Lou?” Thor asked incredulously when he saw who opened the door.

Before Lou can say another word though you decided it was the right time to push away from the door, giving away a hint on what you two were doing before their arrival.

“Hey,” you said overly enthusiastic. “Come on in.”

Lou who had one of her hand on the door, opened it wider so everyone can come through. You had to take a step back to give your friends space, making your ass connect Lou’s front again. You had to bite your lip from making a sound. Lou loved the expression on your face though that she oh so subtly grind her hips against your ass. Thankfully, your friends were more interested in the interior design of your apartment to pay you and Lou any more attention.

When everyone was inside, Lou suddenly stepped away from you and towards the door.

“You’re leaving?” You tried not to sound desperate to have her stay but you don’t expect her to sit around and wait for everyone to leave so she can finish what we started.

“I believe we’ll have to finish this another day,” she said genuinely looking apologetic. She knows that you know how much she wants you but she knows the Avengers are more likely going to spend the whole night with you anyway.

Lou turned to leave but you caught the sleeve of her shirt. You surged forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You better, or else I’ll find someone else to scratch my itch,” you whispered on her ear before you bolted back into your apartment. Leaving Lou staring at your door and grinning like an idiot. At that point, she’s not even going to deny that she has a fucking crush on you.

***

When you got inside, Maria’s waiting for you in the hallway. Everyone was busy setting up everything for your private party in the living room. You immediately tackled your best friend into a bear hug. 

“Easy tiger,” she said giggling while you ignored her and murmured repeatedly how much you missed her. Even though it’s just been a couple of days since you last saw each other. When you pulled away, Maria gave you a funny look. 

“What?”

“Were you and Lou house warming before we arrived?” she asked cheekily.

“No?” Maria cocked an eyebrow at you. Convincing Maria of a lie is close to trying to convince yourself.

“She offered to help clean up,” you tried one more time but it only made Maria laugh out loud. Everyone was informed that you’ll be hosting a dinner for your colleagues from the gallery that’s why they came over late. So it wasn’t technically a lie, still, Maria can see right through you. 

“Right. So how come you have this,” she said before wiping her thumb across your jaw. When she put her finger up for you to see, there was a visible lipstick stain in the exact same shade that Lou’s wearing. You pursed your lips together.

“Next time you try to lie to me, make sure your face isn’t covered in evidence,” Maria teased one more time before dragging you inside your own house.

***

Monday - First Day High

Lou unconsciously frowned when she entered the conference room packed full of everyone except you and Debbie. She was so excited to come to work because she wasn’t able to talk to you the day prior since Thor and Loki decided they wanted to spend time with her before they drive back to the Bronx. Daphne immediately caught her expression.

“Don’t fret my dear, she’s joining us today,” Daphne said with a firm smirk on her face. “It’s her first team meeting after all.”

Lou rolled her eyes before plopping down on her seat on Debbie’s right. Charlie came around to give her a cup of coffee. She accepted it thankfully before engaging Amita and Rose with small talk. A few minutes later, the door opened signalling your arrival back into the room. Lou took a sip of her coffee at the same time you put down the stack of papers on the table giving her a full view of you.

She ungracefully coughed out her coffee, even spraying some of it on the table. You looked at her with concern, while everyone started laughing. She immediately wiped her mouth and the table with some napkins in an attempt to save her dignity. She’s rarely embarrassed since she always carries herself with grace.

So she held her head up high. No one can begrudge her of her reaction especially since none of them warned her - intentionally, she’s sure of it - that you’re dangerously hot in work clothes.

“Thank you, dear,” Lou heard Rose say beside her when you passed to give everyone a copy of the agenda. You smiled at the kind woman.

“You have talent on dressing yourself. Would you mind if I make some pieces for you sometime?” Rose continued, catching you off-guard. You’re literally just wearing a white button-up blouse tucked inside a black knee-high leather pencil skirt, and black heels. You don’t see any reason for a fashion designer like Rose to take an interest in making you some custom made outfits.

“Uhm, thank you, Rose,” you said softly before resuming on your task. Rose giggled excitedly and asked you to come to her office before the day ends so she could take your measurements.

“Oh no, Lou,” Nine sing-songs. Lou looked at the tech-girl with an impassive look on her face.

“Y/N’s gonna hit the runway with Rose dressing her. She’s gonna be popular soon. Are you ready to share her to the world?” Nine continued to tease, making the blonde woman frown. When you arrived behind Nine, you dropped the stack of paper in her head, instead of just handing her a one piece. Everyone giggled except Nine.

“Hey!” she complained.

“Sorry.” The smirk in your face tells her you did it intentionally. Nine grumbled softly about how she used to be your favourite. You just chuckled before looking across the table to Lou and giving her a subtle wink, which totally made her smile and all mushy inside.

***

The two-page agenda took almost all day to go over especially between discussing each point, Nine, Amita and Constance can’t stop interjecting jokes whenever they can. If you have a dollar for every time Debbie sighed or rolled her eyes, you would have collected enough for a whole months rent. Towards the latter part of the meeting, the team started discussing battle plans for the upcoming art week. The gallery is located in the art district, and the competition is tight. They needed something that’ll put the Heist in the art map of New York City.

“Any ideas?” Debbie asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. So far nothing is standing out for her.

You looked around. Everyone was deep in thought, clearly racking their brains for ideas. You raised your hand like you were in class. You feel kinda silly doing so but it caught Debbie’s attention.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“As a new gallery, The Heist isn’t carrying any artist yet, correct?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

The process of selecting an artist to sign on board with the gallery is tedious. Mostly it was a question of chemistry. The team collectively agreed that they wouldn’t carry an artist whose personality deflects from any of them as it will only create friction in the group. Everyone in the team has a purpose but more importantly when Debbie chose them, she chose them based on how well they would mix and work together and up to date, no one has proved that she chose wrong.

“Maybe it’s time to change that,” you suggested boldly.

There’s a collection of murmurs. “But most of the popular artists in town are already booked with other galleries,” Daphne mentioned.

“Who said about signing known artists?” Daphne frowned.

“We can’t sign nobody’s Y/N,” she answered. You smiled softly at your brunette boss.

“Everyone was a nobody at the start,” you started to explain. “Until someone believed in them. We can be that someone to a nobody. We can be that difference.”

For a few excruciating seconds, your heart hammered in your chest like the first time you presented one of the techs you invented in Stark Industries.

“That’s…” Debbie started. You look her directly in the eyes. “Actually brilliant.”

Everyone turned to Debbie and asked, “Really?”

“Yes. It’s wild but maybe that’s why I like it,” she said to her team then she turned again to you. “Do you have a plan?”

You grinned like an excited puppy. “Well I was thinking, we could find at least two artists’ that uses two different medium,” you explain. “The gallery’s huge enough for a painter and an installation artist.”

“Do you have artists’ in mind?” Tammy asked, starting to get on-board with the plan.

“Maybe.”

“Okay,” Debbie said. “Have your presentation ready before next weeks meeting.”

“Yes ma’am,” you answered smiling. You caught Lou looking extremely proud beside Debbie.

“Great! Now can we have lunch?” Amita asked. “My brain cells are dead.”

Debbie adjourned the meeting as soon as everyone confirmed they know their assignment for the week. You were about to head out when Debbie asked to see you in her office.

***

“I’m going straight to the point,” Debbie said as she fixes her stuff in her table. She sat down after a few seconds and looked at you. “I know you slept with Lou.”

You bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling. “I did.”

“I really don’t care if you do, again but can I count on you to keep being this professional?” she asked. “Since you’ve seen all of my friends, they’re children.”

This time, you didn’t try to stop yourself from smiling. Her concern is definitely warranted. “I promise. I also promise that whatever this is, it won’t affect my work here at the gallery.”

Debbie smiled, somehow she just knows she can trust you. So she let you go without further ado but before you can even open her door, she called for your attention again.

“Oh, Y/N.” You turned your body towards her, one hand clutching the door handle. “I’m assigning you to spearhead the artists’ acquisition for the art week. And whatever happens, please don’t have sex in my office.”

The change of topic in one sentence can almost give you a whiplash had it not been too funny that you started laughing hard.

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep, boss,” you said before pulling the door open to leave. On the way out, you almost bumped into Lou. She gave you a questioning look as you continued to giggle as you keep walking away.

***

Lou was still looking at you when Debbie spoke, “I get why you like her. She’s brilliant.”

“She is,” Lou said almost dreamily. Then she blinked her eyes to look at her best friend who’s looking at her like she knew something she doesn’t. She didn’t probe though, she’s not sure she’s ready to know the answer just yet. “Anyway, everyone left ahead for the restaurant. Are you coming?”

“I am,” Debbie answered before gathering her bag. Lunch at their favourite restaurant every Monday has become their tradition since they all moved to Manhattan and started the gallery. It has become the team’s way to decompress on a #ManicMonday.

While waiting for the lift, Debbie couldn’t help but be annoyed by the incessant ringing of Lou’s phone. 

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” she asked curiously. There are only two reasons why Lou wouldn’t answer her god damn phone. First, she’s avoiding whoever is on the other line, which is always most definitely a girl had sex with. Lastly, she’s in the middle of making passionate, consensual, no-strings-attached sex with someone else. 

“Nope,” Lou answered. “It’s just Therese. She wants to meet tonight.”

“She’s just Therese now?” Debbie questioned. Therese is Lou’s ex-girlfriend who she started bedding again a few months ago, adding her to the roster of women she beds on an occasional basis. “Something happened?”

Lou shrugged in time with the arrival of the elevator. She didn’t answer for a while.

“I’m just suddenly tired of all of it,” she said when they stepped off the elevator at the ground floor.

Debbie wondered for a moment what it meant until she followed Lou’s line of sight. She wasn’t surprised when she saw you eating casually at Agatha and Charlie’s table. Lou can’t stop the small smile on her face thinking Debbie wouldn’t even notice it. Oh, but Debbie did and she understood. Out of everyone in the team, Lou’s the only one who isn’t dating monogamously.

They’ve all played the field when they’re younger until they found someone worth throwing the towel in and committing themselves to. Everyone thinks that she’s looking for magic but that wasn’t the case, she was actually looking for something simple. She just wanted someone that makes her feel home. For a long time, she searched all over the world only to find what she’s looking right under her nose.

Debbie smiled watching the loving look on Lou’s face as she watches you for a heartbeat before walking directly towards the exit. Debbie didn’t mean to look when Lou whipped out her phone and started typing a message for you. 

Plans tonight? I missed you yesterday.

Lou’s phone lighted with a reply while she’s reversing out of the parking lot that she couldn’t stop Debbie from reaching for it and opening her text message. She grumbled and begged and threatened the brunette not to read it but she knew it was futile. 

“Ready to finish what you’ve started,” Debbie read laughing. Lou blushed from her neck to the roots of her hair. 

Yes! See you tonight. Debbie texted on Lou’s behalf. She’s so happy for her best friend, she couldn’t even care that you’re younger or that you’re their employee.

Can’t wait. xx

Taglist:  @kaytoopio​​​​​ @marvelfansince08love​​​​​ @marvelb00kwolf​​​​​ @shycucumbersandwich​​​​​ @subject7creed​​​​ @inkstainedhandsofgold​​​

[what-the--curtains]

Braving the Elements

Chapter 4: explanations and introductions

TW: mentions of forced experimentation, swearing

Songs

(playing when she enters the room with all the Avengers)

(when she first looks at Bucky and then again when demonstrating her powers)

Authors note: oof this is a long one but our boy is finally in it! Once again apologies for not making it a (continue reading) but i am trapped on mobile RIP

“Sorry about this.” Wanda says, tightening the cuffs currently trapping your hands behind your back.

“ Don’t worry about it, I’d have done the same.” you say.

“Jesus (Y/N) what have you gotten yourself into now?” she chuckles uneasily with worry in her eyes, as she gently grazes the bruise on your face with her hand.

“Oh you know me. Just placed my bet on the wrong horse is all.” You say lightly. She removes her hand nodding slightly. This answer seems to have satisfied her for now.

“Well most of the guys are asleep, but you can meet the head honchos now.” she says.

“ What is this an Al Pacino movie?” you ask with a smile.

She laughs, picking up the bag you had dropped on the floor and leading you to the elevator.

As you enter the room the four Avengers all stare at you. You had seen them on the news before so you could put names to faces. Not to mention you choked one of them out yesterday. Tony speaks up first “Well this is uncomfortable.” You clear your throat before speaking

“Sorry about the light choking cap! Nothing personal.”

“Sorry about the shield in the back” he responds.

“So, even Stevens then?” You ask with a hopeful smile.

“No..” says Tony screwing up his eyebrows in confusion “Not, ‘even Stevens’, you robbed a bank, severely injured four guards and have been working for a mobster for the past six months!”

“Fair enough.” you reply, “Hey Wanda wanna open that bag you have there?” Looking at you with just a hint of doubt she opens the bag and pulls out one of many wads of cash.

“Figured I shouldn’t show up empty handed, so I brought back the money I stole and the safe thing. That’s in there too.”

“Not bad” Tony shrugs, peering into the bag.

“As for the whole working for a mobster thing it’s really not what it looks like. I mean I didn’t want to take up crime. It just kinda happened!” You express.

“Alright then, please enlighten us on how you started as a friend of our dear Wandas and ended up robbing banks.” Tony says taking a seat across from you.

“Alright don’t get your panties in a knot Stark. I’ll start at the beginning, and please hold your applause until the end. My parents sold me to a government run lab at the ripe old age of 7 when I first started showing signs of being “different” “ you say making air quotes around the final word.

“When the mutant gene presented itself.” Wanda clarifies

“ I mean, I did accidentally light the couch on fire after getting angry about something, but in my defense, I was a kid! How was I supposed to know any better? By my ninth birthday Xavier had managed to shut down the lab on the basis of it violating the mutant rights act. He took all us kids in and taught us how to control our powers and gave us a pretty amazing education. It was the first real home I ever had and it was also where I met Wanda.” Your voice falters for a second. “Hey, by the way I’m really sorry about Pietro, he was a great kid, best kind, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” She gives you a small, but reassuring smile and you continue “When I turned 18 I decided to leave, wanted to see what the world had to offer. Along the way I met Magneto who convinced me that what he was doing was right, so I joined his fight. Then proceeded to lose said fight. All of us non-compliant mutants were given two options: go to prison or serve your country and join the military!” you say in an old timey radio voice

“So you chose prison and Roman broke you out?” Nat inquired

“Oh god no! I picked the military, figured I’d get out eventually, but I got tired of fighting for a country that secretly hated my existence, so I tried to leave, but they wouldn’t let me. When I refused to fight they discharged me, deemed me a danger to society and locked me up in one of those fancy prisons you helped build Mr. Stark. By the way do you know what really goes on in there?” Tony glances at you out the corner of his eye “I designed it, I don’t run it, so no” he scoffs.

“Figured as much, your type don’t tend to care once you’ve got a payment” you state matter of factly.

“Hey, now that’s a bit out of line.” Steve jumps in defending Tony

“You know what was out of line Mr. America?” you snap back “Being forcibly tested without my consent. I lost teeth, bone marrow, fingernails, and part of my liver and I was only there for 6 months, so maybe you should look into that Mr. high and mighty.” Tony’s face turns white “No, I didn’t know that.” he manages to say. Cap and Nat avoid your eyes, but are obviously shocked while Wanda wipes away a single tear.

“ Come on don’t act so naive, mutant testing has been going on for years they just got better at hiding it. Anyways, Romy broke me out so I went to work for him.”

“Makes sense guy saves you from a life time of torture I’d work for him as well.” Nat says.

“So why did you leave him?”, Steve asks

“What? The face doesn’t give it away.” you reply “Also turns out the guy legally owns me.”

“He what?” Nat and Wanda yell in unison

“Ya the bastard drugged me up and got me to sign a contract signing myself over to him. So, I left, wanted to make things right and now I’m here to offer my help, get redemption or whatever. If you’ll have me.” No one says anything “Well I mean I also kinda figured you were my best shot at bringing him down. See he has dozens of mutant files in his office, but I’ve never seen any of them. Leading me to the conclusion that he’s up to something.”

“And why exactly should we trust you after all you’ve done?” Tony poses

“Wanda side pocket of the bag,” she pulls out multiple brown folders

“That’s my contract, along with ones belonging to a few other mutants, also I’m gonna need you to cut my arm open” you say. They look up at you with concerned, and slightly disturbed, faces.

“There’s a microchip in it with all the downloaded files from his work computer before I blew it, and his HQ up.”

“Pretty crafty. I knew I liked you!” Nat smiles

“Thanks!” you return

“Well it’s a pretty good start,” says Tony “but the others will have to agree. So we’ll have a vote in the morning. Which is in approximately,” he pauses looking down at his watch, “5 hours so I’d suggest we all get some sleep.” The rest of the team nods in agreement and Nat, Tony and Steve leave the room. Wanda hangs back for a second “Hey, I’m really glad you’re here I’ve missed you.”

Sheepishly you respond “Ya, I’ve missed you too. Hey Wanda?”

She stops in the doorway “Ya?”

“Is the rest of the team as hot as you guys?” you ask wiggling your eyebrows

She snorts “Oh ya. Just wait till you meet the rest of them, they blow Summers out of the water.”

“Which Summers brother Wanda? Which one?” you call with fake urgency, but she doesn’t answer.

You’re woken up by the sound of light tapping on glass. You must have dozed off. Wanda walks in with two cups of coffee, placing one down in front of you. She puts her own cup down on the table and frees your hands. “Thanks,” you say shaking out your arms, which had partially fallen asleep, before taking the cup from her.

From a distance you hear Tony’s voice exclaiming

“Well we have a very special surprise for you all. A delivery that arrived last night.” Stopping in front of the door he continues “Now some of you may know her, but for those who don’t, this…” he says pointing towards you through the glass “is (y/n).” You gaze back at the substantial group of people currently staring at you, suddenly understanding how a tiger in a zoo might feel. The group has two teens, one of which you recognized as Shuri, the princess of Wakanda. You also take note of the four large, and very attractive male Avengers making up the rest of the group who you recognized as Clint, Sam, Bucky and Vision . “You were right, they are hot, even better than they look on the news!” you whisper to Wanda causing her to roll her eyes.

“Hey! You trapped me in a tree!” the teen boy pipes up

“Spiderman is a child?” You question, before Peter can denounce the use of the term child, you continue “Sorry about that kid. I won't do it again. Promise!��

“So were just letting any run of the mill villains onto our team?” Sam asks.

“ Well I wouldn’t exactly call myself run of the mill, and I did bring back the cash I borrowed.” You say.

“ Borrowed?” Bucky asked with a smirk, you go to say something snarky back, but are taken aback for a moment when your eyes meet his. Wow. These have gotta be the most gorgeous eyes you’d ever seen, a color of blue that falls somewhere between a stormy ocean and steel. You hadn’t failed to notice that they were attached to a very nice face, leading you to speculate that his body was probably equally as exquisite. You quickly pull yourself out of the trance realizing you probably hadn’t said anything in a few seconds and were just openly staring at this man.

“Ya, borrowed, I took it and brought it back, how would you define the term?” Sam laughs, and Bucky frowns slightly before nodding his head in agreement.

“Also weren’t like, at least half of you guys, all villains at some point?” you ask.

“That is a very valid point” Clint spoke up.

“Thank you! Your my new favorite person” you say causing Wanda to give you a look of fake offence.

“Alright now you’ve met her it's time to cast votes to see if she should join the team.” Steve says

“Wait!” you exclaim, “Don’t you guys want to know what you’re buying before you pay for it?”

You smile at Wanda. She reluctantly gives into your demand huffing out a “Fine. Anyone got any water?” Peter pulls his backpack forwards to his chest and takes out his water bottle throwing it to Wanda. “Alright what about a lighter?” Leaning forward Bucky pulls one out of his back pocket and throws it at you. Catching it you smile and place it on the table.

“Steve can you pull in that ficus from just outside the door?” lifting his eyebrows in suspicions he lifts up the potted plant and.

“Not bad doll” Bucky says almost impressed

“Well sweetie buckle up cause you ain’t seen nothing yet!” The half dead ficus Steve had dragged into the office suddenly began to turn green again and began sprouting new leaves. Using the air from the room you carefully pick the plant up and return it to the hallway dropping it back to its original spot.

“And for my final trick,” You say while flicking Bucky's lighter open. You gather a few embers and create a ball of fire between your hands. You extinguish the ball between your hands and throw the lighter back to Bucky.

“Well that’s gonna come in handy” Clint says

”I also served in the military for 2 years so I can shoot and fight as good as any of you”

“That I can personally vouch for” Steve says rubbing his throat “Anyway, let's vote.”

“Well I want you to stay,” Wanda says excitedly “we’ve got 10 years of catching up to do.”

You were surprised when the next person to pipe up was Bucky “ Can’t exactly say no, I was a war criminal before joining you guys.”

“I was a yes the second you blew up that building.” Nat says placing a hand on your shoulder.

So far everyone has said yes though some more begrudgingly than others.

Everyone looks to Tony for the final say.

“What the hell, she can stay, just no powers in the loft!”

“But what if I need something like an ice cube or a bonfire!” you proclaim

“Fine no destructive powers! Shuri can you get started on making her a suit?”

“Thank god someone with style is doing it” you say Causing Shuri to smirk and nod her head up at you

“Sam trains all the new recruits so you're going to go up against him tomorrow. He’ll figure out where you are in your fighting abilities” Tony says.

You turn to Sam and give him a wicked smile. Sam looks back at you, obviously concerned before muttering, “I swear if we just let another psychopath into this building so help me god”

“Don’t worry I’ll go easy on ya!” you say patting him on the back.

“C’mon” Wanda says, pulling your arm “I'll show you to your room!”

“Great!” you respond as she leads you down the hall “This is me, This is Bucky and then this is all yours��� she says opening the door. The room was a decent size with a double bed, floor to ceiling windows, a closet and an ensuite bathroom. It wasn’t as extravagant as the apartment Roman had gotten you, but it’d do just fine “I’ll leave you to get unpacked” Wanda says before leaving the room. You head downstairs back to the car you had stolen the night before and grab your two suitcases out of the trunk. Using the midday wind, you launch them over towards the front entrance, almost hitting an unsuspecting Sam who was just exiting for a run with Bucky. “Sorry! Didn’t see you there.” You shout tensing up slightly.

“If you think taking me out with a suitcase is gonna give you the upper hand tomorrow you are sorely mistaken.” Sam laughs.

“Darn saw right through my clever plan!” you respond feigning disbelief.

“Nice car.” Bucky says

“Thanks I stole it.” you respond breezing by the two men and picking up your cases before heading up the stairs to the elevator

“You know I can’t tell if she’s joking or not.” Sam says looking to Bucky

“20 bucks says she isn’t.” he responds with a chuckle.

You make it upstairs and open your suitcase “unpacking” most of your clothes straight onto the floor before jumping in the shower.

The hot water hits your body and you begin to scrub away all the troubles (and grime) from the past two days. As you wash you notice the array of bruises on your body. Poking at one on your hip which you figure must have happened when you landed on it during the robbery. You press it again and squint in pain. After a thorough cleaning you turn off the water and wrap a towel around your body. Wiping steam off the mirror you look at your face. Your split lip had basically closed up and the bruises around your neck and on your face had gone from an array of dark purple hues to ones with yellowish undertones. After looking at your face for a bit longer you brush your teeth, put on your pyjamas and drift off to sleep.

[aph-honk-kong]

Draw A Circle That’s The Earth, I’m In Hetalia - Review (Chapter 2)

Eight months ago, @hetafic-hell published a review of chapter one of “Draw A Circle That’s The Earth, I’m In Hetalia!”. I decided to write a review of the second chapter, since they’ve been on hiatus for so long. But before I begin, I must offer a warning: this chapter is five thousand five hundred words long, and is not divided into any paragraphs. It’s also awful. Proceed at your own risk.

3 months later.

It is not possible to show the passing of time through the story instead of putting it down explicitly?

I'm at a different meeting hall my nation had all its citizen's return to Serenia only recently and now every one of my people except my army have been turned into pictonians 

What army? I thought the only reason Serenia was bombed in chapter one was because it didn’t have one. 

Australia brought me in a helicopter and now me America, England, Italy, Germany, China, Japan, Russia, France, not that anyone noticed except me Canada 

And there’s the “nobody notices Canada” trope.

and thanks to my knowledge of the 'paint it white' Hetalia movie Scotland and Australia are now in meeting about the pictonians I gave Canada a note saying 'go to Cuba, combine forces temporarily and take care of the injured 'he ran out of the room without anyone noticing.

You’d think that someone being told to leave an important meeting to leave the country, meet with someone who hasn’t been mentioned up until now and form an alliance to save their nation’s people would at least announce their departure.

"Dudes, this is an emergency! As the paper thingys in front of you with those crazy drawings that are supposed to be word says, the race of humanity has been taken over by nopras thingsmabobs by that crazy beam of light that comes out of the light bulby thingy that comes out of their head."

...what?

Alfred said while everyone was doing their own thing Francis blowing a kiss to the maid, Yao yawning, Arthur, Kiku, Ivan and Ludwig listening, Allistor smoking, jack playing with his koala, bub and Feli drawing faces on the pictonians pictures. "Nice one, Feli" I giggled "thank you, Kaitlyn! How are-a the puppies and-a cubbies?" he asked "they're fine they grew 60 cm!" 

What an intriguing conversation. Why is this happening again?

then I turn my attention to the meeting and open the folder "Tony my righteous alien friend dude told me they are pictonians from the planet Picto. Like for real dudes. Picto is in like way far out in space." He continued "your brains in way far outer space" Arthur exclaimed "hello! Listen up! We can't let these nopras dudes make earth all freaky and boringly white! This is whack! We gotta stop these dudes! Also what's a nopras?" Alfred asked after a good little speech "it's a Japanese monster without eyes, nose or a mouth; its proper name is inotraple." I spoke up everyone looks at me then Arthur says "wait a tick does that mean this is all your fault japan?"

Why would any of the nations believe Serenia? Even if she explained that she figured it out from the “Paint It White” movie, she’d have to tell them how she came across the movie, either proving that she’s not from this universe or making the nations think she’s gone insane.

"Hey I only said what I learnt from japans old stories and he hasn't said a single word so it's not his fault." I defended while standing up "why the hell do I have to be turned into nopra, because of stupid japan and his scary story" Yao snapped I sighed and sat down and looked at the pictonians pictures I giggled and whispered something to Feli then we both giggled 

So she went from defending to sighing to giggling in a span of what, a minute? If Kaitlyn is so protective of Japan, why doesn’t she defend him when China speaks up? Why does she just sit down and start having another inane exchange with Italy?

"what is so funny, kaitren-chan?" 

Please no, not the Wapanese.

Kiku asked I smiled and said "is it just me or do these guys look like telitubies? Come on I can't be the only one thinking this" "Hahaha! Good one Kaitlyn!" 

This chapter is supposed to take place three months after the former one, and the last chapter ended in the middle of WWII. There is no way any of the nations would know about Teletubbies, which is a show that launched in 1997.

Alfred laughed then said "anyway, focus countries! Japan may have screwed things up but we still have time to fix it! Your ideas will all suck, so listen to me! We will combine all of our military strengths! I'll be in command so you'll have to wear the colour of my flag! All heroes wear red white and blue! And Kaitlyn?" I look up at him "yeah?" "I'll make sure you're safe by you and me sticking together! I'll be your hero!" he said as he winked at me I blushed furiously

The awful dialogue aside, I thought Kaitlyn was shipping herself with Holy Rome last chapter, to the point where she kept him from dying. Does she have a new fictional husband now?

"wait who in god's name put you in charge and why the bloody hell should Kaitlyn go with you?" Arthur yelled "duh, because I'm the hero everybody knows that and Kaitlyn needs a hero" Alfred replied "ohnohnohnohn! But I think Kaitlyn should come with me and not you" Francis said in all his creepiness 

France literally hasn’t done anything creepy, he just suggested Kaitlyn stick with him! Oh wait, I forgot the writer just wants to shoehorn in every trope imaginable into this fic for no reason at all.

"you keep your filthy perverted hands of Kaitlyn, cheesy monkey!" 

He wasn’t being perverted at all! #ProtectFrance2020

Arthur yelled "shut up, black sheep of Europe" "I told you not to call me that" then Arthur and Francis started fighting, Feli tried to hand out his white flags, Yao was arguing with Alfred about which country made the most popular movies, Ivan was releasing a purple aura, Ludwig was trying to stay calm and me I stood up and sat with my pups and cubs petting them as they slept

You’re telling me these baby animals are casually sleeping through a group of adults having multiple loud arguments?

'what am I going to do? Everything's just so crazy. Everyone is a lot more extreme than I thought, they act the same and yet they act different. 

How on earth does one “act the same yet act different”?

When I was in my world, everything seemed so easy. [Sigh] I guess not' "kaitren-chan." 

Spare me.

A voice brought me back noticing Kiku was in front of me "what's wrong, Kiku-san?" "I wanted to thank you for defending me earrier, arrigato" 

There’s no reason why Japan would thank Kaitlyn in Japanese when the rest of his sentence is in English, and that’s not even how you spell it.

he bowed I smiled then boom! I jump and my pups and cubs start barking and roaring 

I can guarantee you that baby tigers cannot roar.

I calm them down by speaking Serenian. I wait for Germany to stop yelling before heading to the doors "Kaitlyn? Vhere are you going?" Ludwig asked "I'm going to protect my country. I suggest you all do the same." Then I walked out of the room. 2 hours later. 

Where are they? Assuming they’re not in Serenia, it would take Kaitlyn quite a while to get home, especially since they’re in a time of war. She definitely wouldn’t be able to reach Serenia in two hours.

I'm standing with my army of 1,000 women and men armed with guns and arrows, 

How are they going to shoot the arrows without bows? 

I'm wearing a long flowing white skirt with a long slit that reaches 10cm from the waist, my black cloak, 

A flowing skirt and a cloak are not at all practical for war, especially not a skirt with a slit. She’s going to get strangled with her cloak or trip over herself, mark my words.

a gold staff with a gold crescent at the top the staff was an inch above my head my height is 1, 80, 

A few things to address here. First, isn’t Kaitlyn fifteen? How can a fifteen-year-old be that tall? Second, there’s no way that staff would do any damage, especially in a twentieth-century war when so much technology was developed. Gold is expensive as hell, too, so how could she make an entire staff from it?

I had a black camisole on and had gold two gold bracelets on my left ankle, one each on my wrists, a necklace with a silver water lily pendent and a gold necklace that fit on my head so that the crescent moon pendent was positioned on the centre of my forehead and I wore no shoes just bare feet. 

No way someone can run or fight properly while wearing heavy gold bracelets, a silver pendant, a gold headdress and no shoes. You’re fighting in a war, for goodness’ sake, your feet are going to be severely hurt if you don’t wear anything on them.

"When the enemy comes show no fear and if the enemy shoots dodge then strike!" I commanded my cubs and pups were beside me growling. 

You took your defenceless baby pets, the only Serenian native animals left, to a battlefield?

The earth started to shake a little "get ready!" I yelled the pictonians ships were in sight "FIRE!" I yelled my army fire their guns and arrows but they just turn all wiggly and white "crap!" I curse then the pictonians shoot the flower blossom beam me, my pups and cubs run and dodge the beam

Without being trampled to death by the rest of the fleeing soldiers, and fast enough to dodge the beam despite being, again, babies? Fat chance.

my army wasn't so lucky they got hit with the beam, then they started to stalk towards us "Kilala! Sesa! Nomura! Herona! Zecremea nomraxia qoxirizakri merase"(Translation: come we must run, my children!)" 

Please, no more nonsensical Serenian.

We start running and an explosion happened bits of the arrows and metal from the guns flew at my cubs and pups I block them and got cut every were it hurt so much, then I hear something "Kaitlyn! Dude come on!" I look and see Alfred on a helicopter when I reach the helicopter 

Shouldn’t he be back in America, defending his own people?

I look back and call out to my pups and cubs "come on almost there!" then disaster. Another flower beam was shot and it hit them, my pups and cubs, my babies 

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BROUGHT THEM ALONG!

"no! No!" I try and run to them but, Alfred pulled me into the helicopter and restrained me the helicopter took off when I stopped struggling Alfred let me go. I cried, I let everything go. I dropped to my knees and cried Alfred sat on his knees and embraced me I cried into his jacket "Katie, everything's going to be okay. We'll get them back I don't know how but we will, I promise." 

Oh wow, this is so touching.

He said 'that doesn't really sound like him this must really be bad' I stopped crying and hugged Alfred "al, thanks for saving me I assume they got you?" ' assume I know they got him' "yeah, my missiles did nothing then they turned the statue of liberty all white and wiggly" "they did that as well to the valley of blue roses" (for all those who don't know in Serenia their national land mark is a valley of blue roses since blue roses are unnatural and were originally white it is said that on the night of a blue moon the glow of the full moon turned them blue.) 

Couldn’t the story behind the rose valley be included in the story instead of being dumped to us between brackets? 

"We're heading to a temporary headquarters, okay?" I nodded I started humming 'safe and sound by Taylor swift' then Alfred asked "hey Katie what song is that?" 'Crap! I forgot Taylor swift hasn't even been born yet and... Wait a minute the songs I know are from the year 2013 and it's what like 1980, I'll keep it to myself.' "It's called safe and sound a little thing I made up to keep me sane when Switzerland attacked" 

Finally, a rational decision. Also, if this chapter took place three months after the last, wouldn’t it be, like 1945 at most? How did the author forget something they wrote themself?

"Kaitlyn, when the war hit were you afraid that your country would be destroyed and you would ya know die?" "No, I feared for my countries people and animal life besides no one would really miss me." "That's not true! Iggy would miss you, Italy would miss you, jack and Allistor would miss you and I would defiantly miss you we all care about you Kaitlyn no matter what!" "Alfred." I smiled and hugged Alfred even tighter "Kaitlyn, I'm glad you're my best friend ""I'm glade too"

You’re what now?

then I fell asleep. 20 minutes later. We had almost reached the temporary hide out Alfred had to carry me on his back because I couldn't walk anymore I was partially covered in cuts and bruises and my head hurt badly. 

Didn’t you just say you were cut “every were?”

"Al, remind me to kick the pictonians ass later please." "No prob" when we were close enough we could see everyone was there. Feli lifted his head and saw Alfred and smiled but, then he saw me he squealed and ran to Alfred and I. "Kaitlyn! What-a happened!?" he asked frantically "Feli, calm down I'm fine." I reassure him then I was lifted off of Alfred's back and carried to the temporary 

The temporary what?

I look up to see Germany "thanks." I said he smiled and place me on crate then china tended to my wounds. 

Is the medical centre just a crate? If not, what on earth is the author trying to describe here?

"Thanks china I owe you one" I said "no problem Kaitlyn!" he replied I noticed Feli walking around looking for something. "Hey Feli what are you looking for?" he turned to me and smiled "I-a think the puppies and cubbies are playing hide and-a seek with me so I'm-a trying to find them." I looked down and said "they're not playing hide and seek Feli." "Oh, then where are-a they?" I started to tear up I look at him as I raise my head and say "ask the pictonians" he paled

“Kaitlyn, you fucking idiot, why did you bring them along with you to fight?”

"becoming a pictonian appears to be our fate" I say "I refuse to become as ugly as the rest of you" France says "look on the bright side at least you won't smell like drunk cheese" England commented "chill out, we're not gonna let this get us down. Dudes, we're gonna stand together whether we like it or not. I don't!" Alfred said then Russia said "I agree, I don't like it!" then china said "that's right we should work together even if we hate it. I hate it!" "I hate it more" Arthur added "Qui j'detetes" France sighed "no rikey, but we should listen to each other's ideas" japan stated 

The next person to use “no rikey” unironically will be executed at dawn.

"right, all zhose in favour for us to vork togezher raise your hand now" Germany said everyone but me and Feli raised their then Italy looked around and raised his hand and said "pasta~" I raise my hand and Alfred said sounding confident "check this out a douse of originality we get a super hero with a deflector shield to beat the crap out of those guys" 

Haha comedy, am I right?

then Italy said "I think japan should do it I-a mean he's-a got eave**** and let's not forget about gun**" but those are just anime" japan said 

Both Evangelion or Gundam were developed in the late twentieth century, decades after this story takes place. Plus, Italy isn’t so stupid as to believe that the mechas from those show exist in real life, is he?

"if you are looking for anime I can totally do that" china interrupted then a blurred picture appeared "you know I think I heard about that somewhere but better" Arthur says "yeah" everyone agrees "it original chines idea!" china fumed "excuse me" Germany said to grab our attention "maybe ve should oh I don't know zhink of ideas zhat are realistic" he said looking ready to blow 

Thank you, Germany. 

"I was thinking the exact same thing my idea is perfectly realistic" Arthur said looking confident "alright what do you have in mind, Arthur" I ask then he shows us a dark magic circle 

How the hell did he make that so quickly?

"yeah we need something realistic" everyone said "you wankers don't ignore me!" Arthur yelled "my turn, how about we find their leader and hold them for ransom" I suggest "still need a realistic idea" they said then we hear a sound "Fucking" over and over we look at a screen to see a little grey alien "ah, what a charming alien" France said sarcastically "he's no alien! Tony is my best friend!" Alfred said sounding offended "that doesn't mean he's not a bloody alien!" Arthur said but, was ignored by Alfred "Tony what's the scoop bra?" "fu-"he tried to say but I interrupted saying "hey Tony? Think you could I don't know not pull any crap on us. Remember how you owe me from 30 years ago. I need you to show us the pictonians website and put on the translator software, please?" 

What does Tony owe Kaitlyn and why was this never mentioned?? Also, the internet didn’t exist in WWII, what is going on -

he nodded and put up a website and then the translator thing made all the alien language translate in to English. Then a video played explaining the pictonians intentions. "It appears our planet is doomed." " ?" "What did he say now?" japan asked and Alfred replied "the more evolved the species the more their faces look nopra like" "oh, I have collection of evolving I'd like to show them" Russia said as he released a purple aura 

The fuck does this mean?

"Vhere are zhey veak? Zhey must have a veakness' Germany said "they do" Tony replied then everyone but me flipped out "why haven't you been speaking English this whole time!?" France asked while freaking out "because I don't do dubs" Tony replied as he searched for something on his iPhone "okay their weaknesses are…" 

WHY DOES HE HAVE AN IPHONE IN WWI!?

he continued. Then I had a dizzy spell. I felt pulse "sunflower, you're alright, da?" Russia asked

Haha he used “da” haha so very Russia of him.

"I-I'm fine, Russia" I replied holding my head "call me Ivan" he said then Alfred yelled "TONY!" that set me off I collapsed to the floor a bright white light covered my vision, as I fell I heard someone call out "Kaitlyn!". Then, I heard the giddy British voice again "well poppet, looks like you've been telling people you get visions, huh? Well, we don't want you to be a liar now do we? So every time a something big is going to happen, you will suffer a dizzy spell and have a vision. Well I better be off ta-ta poppet" then it all went black. 

Oh, it’s the magic fellow from the first chapter. Will it ever be explained who they are or why they’re doing this to Kaitlyn? My money’s on “no”.

Suddenly, I saw everyone being turned into pictonians Alfred, Arthur, Francis, Ivan, Yao, jack, Allistor, Ludwig and Kiku then I turn and see Feli get turned into a pictonian 'no' 

Why is Italy’s transformation the last straw?

I ran at the pictonians tears blurring my vision. I felt myself lift off the ground then gone I lost the vision. "Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn wake up!" I heard I slowly open my eyes to see Alfred above me with worry in his eyes and me I was on the floor with everyone surrounding me "I'm fine I just had a vision" I said as I hopped up everyone look at me and didn't looked convinced "trust me guys I'm fine this happens only at certain times." I said then a green light flashed we ran to the light and stopped when we saw a huge pictonian ship. As it was landing a powerful wind blew everywhere it almost knocked down everyone but, it blew me backwards until someone caught me I look and see Allistor holding me by my waist "wouldn't want ye ta blow away now would we?" he said smiling "thank you, Allistor" I said holding onto him. 

And there goes another character into Kaitlyn’s harem.

When the wind stopped we all saw the ship in font "I think this is the mother ship" japan said "Hahaha those stupid aliens are so predictable" Alfred mocked "Allistor you can let go now." I said as I barely held my blush he blushed furiously and let me go "look!" Germany said as we see the pictonians marching onto the mother ship not noticing us "I think that's where they keep the humans that haven't been turned into pictonians probably human enslavement" I said "unacceptable ve must act now!" Germany yell as he marched towards the ship then japan stopped him "Germany I'm sorry I touched you but we must act reasonabry." "Must kill!" he replies 

Why is Germany suddenly talking like a caveman? Goodness, if I had a dollar for every question I asked while reading this mess of a fic I’d be the richest person alive.

"hey, dudes!" Alfred said to get everyone's attention "I have an idea how about we infiltrate the ship and find their weakness!" he suggested "yes, I like the way you are thinking" china said enthusiastically "you can leave the spying to me" Arthur said confidently "and leave the animal rescuein ta me" jack said "nothing ventured nothing gained is what they arways say" japan said "exactly 'ow are zhey?" France asked "I know a way we can get inside!" we all looked and see Feli in a pictonian costume "tada!" "VHAT ZA HELL!? VHAT IS ZAT!?" Germany asked/yelled

You could just use “yelled”.

"it's my-a pictonian costume I made-a it with all the white flag material I have! Woohoo! I made-a one for everybody!" he laughed pointing to a box with pictonian costumes. Everyone just stared at it for a while. Then I walked to the box and grabbed one my size I put it on over my clothes.

One your size? You’re telling me Italy managed to make a number of fake-outfits with multiple sizes while the rest of the nations were running out to see the ship?

When I was done everyone was wearing theirs then they all ran to the ship yelling their battle cries "ATTACK!" "Hahaha! Hail the conquering hero" "double O ninja!" "I'm ready" "what a relief I still look fabulous!" "Hold on tight panda!" "I reap into battre!" "Aussie!" "Whiskey power!" only me and Feli didn't move "we'll wait for you guys here!" he cheered as he waved his white flag "Italy! Serenia! You both are coming vith us!" Germany yelled as he stood in front of Feli!" "But, running onto-a the aliens ship seams reckless-a to me. Besides I don't want to get my costume dirty. What do you think bella?" then he looked at me "Feli, I'm scared." I said as I looked up at him with tears in my eyes 'it's true I am scared, I'm scared that I screwed everything up and what if everyone gets turned into a pictonian' then I felt a hand on mine I look to see Feli with his eyes open looking at me "let's-a go Kaitlyn. We'll-a do this together!" he beamed I smiled and ran with Feli who yelled his battle cry "PASTA~!" in turn I yelled mine "the angel has arrived!" 

Why would Kaitlyn be described as an angel? She’s done nothing remotely angelic in the story so far.

20 minutes later. We're all on the ship we hide behind a corner "ok, here's the plan Russia back me up, japan you back me up too and Iggy..." Alfred said when we were all in a circle with Germany holding eleven sticks "pick one each vhatever colour you get is zhe group you're in." he said "don't ignore me!" Alfred whined every one picked a stick France went with Arthur, Alfred went with Ivan and china, Germany went with japan and Feli. Me I went with Allistor and jack. We're walking down a hall way. 

Nice tense change there.

'I'm not scared' "ya know we need 'a find the captured humans, righ'?" "No, I thought we're er ta play golf, we're not stupid lad we know what we're ta do." The continued arguing then I heard a noise and saw round the corner pictonians "shh!" I pulled them into a room but part of my pictonian costume ripped at my lower half reviling my lower half and the warrior skirt. "Great just great" I said sarcastically "Kaitlyn? Love is that you?" I turn around and see Arthur and France standing in front of a blue ball "what happened?" Arthur asked "these two dumbbells attracted unwanted attention so I acted fast and pulled us into the nearest room" I said a little peeved. 

“Dumbbells” is a weak-ass insult.

Arthur scolded them while me and France looked at the globe I touched my country like Arthur was supposed to do with his country. Then a little page popped at the side of it but it was in the alien's language "damn, hey Arthur little help?" I ask he stops and chucks me his phone 

Again with the cell phones! Isn’t it supposed to be the mid-twentieth century?

I look through it and put up the alien translator app then the screen scanned the page and processed the data then it binged and it all translated into English I read it aloud once the guys stopped fighting "Serenia, a peaceful country with both beautiful fauna and flora and also a former pirate now a polite lady. Serenia is a former pacifist but, during world war two and seeing some of her people and most of the fauna life massacred she became a fighter. She often gets stuck in the middle of love, because all the male countries are in love with her and she can't decide" 

Woah. I couldn’t have come up with a more Mary Sue-ish description if I tried.

I blushed furiously and silently handed Arthur back his phone "love? Are you alright?" he said with a red face "p-p-please j-just go c-check your country" 

I can tick “badly-written stuttering” off my bad fanfic bingo now.

I stuttered not being able to keep my cool. Arthur looked at his country and started fighting with France I ran up to them and tried to break them up "guys! You have to stop" then France accidently back handed me I hit the floor but no one helps me up. Allistor and jack tried separating Arthur and Francis then the door opened and the pictonians appeared "what do we do now?" Francis asked 

I don’t know, maybe run instead of twiddling your thumbs?

"don't worry I'm sure there is a trap door here somewhere" Arthur said then a rope appeared next to him "see what did I tell you" he pulled the rope and the four of them fell through the trap door leaving me on the floor the pictonians looked at me 'I'm screwed' they didn't move "huh?" I looked down and saw that I look like someone turning into a pictonian. ' alright, let's play pictonian' so I found my other half of my costume and slowly pulled it on and pretended it hurt then to seal the deal I was next to the trap door and screamed at the top of my lungs "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" then I slowly stood up slouching like them then they left. 

I understood like ten words out of this section. 

I shed the pictonian costume and fluffed out my black cloak and skirt I checked to see if my necklace on my head was still there and if my foldable gold staff was in the side of my skirt, luckily they were but unluckily, the staff put a little cut in my side making blood drops appear. 

And this, kids, is why you don’t fight with fucking staffs. Also, how on earth is a tall, heavy staff made out of gold able to fold in on itself?

I ran out of the room and followed the pictonians without them noticing me. Then I see everyone in a corner. Found the alarm system, pulled and jumped in the vent the pictonians turned their attention to the alarm I slowly crawled in the air vent but, then I made a wrong move and fell. I waited for the impact but it never came I opened my eyes to see that china caught me "china, thank you!" I said as I hugged him "it is alright and please call me Yao" he smiled as he blushed lightly then set me on the ground 

Dammit, there goes another one.

"Kaitlyn, you're alright" Feli cried as he hugged me. Then a green light grew bright we all looked to see the pictonians about to turn us into one of them. "We. Are. Screwed." I stated "wait, ret me try something" Kiku said "go ahead, Kiku-san" I said. "Pictonians we have come to show you our hospitarity." He said "WHAT!?" everyone but me yelled I ran next to Kiku and backed him up saying "Kiku is right we should show them what earth has to offer. If we show them how fun and fantastic earth is maybe they won't invade earth, change everything back to normal and leave."

Nice idea, but they’ve kind of already invaded earth. You’re too late, honey.

Then Yao said "leave it to me!" then a china town appeared and all the pictonians were sitting at tables with food in front of them "please eat as much as you want" Yao offered "don't-a mind if I-a do!" Feli said with a plate of food in his hand "zhat is not for you!" Germany yelled "but why does-a Kaitlyn get-a to eat?" he complained "because it's just a mango and I haven't eaten since yesterday" I said the pictonians started to eat 

What does China serving mangoes have to do with why she gets to eat?

"so you like it am I right?" Yao asked confidently "we don't know" they answered Yao "I'm so glad you like it. Wait you don't know?" he asked "we don't know" they replied then France tried to get them to eat his countries cuisine but got the same reply "I would like to be going now don't be letting me down" Ivan said to the Baltics "yes sir" they replied then done a ballet to swan lake in female ballerina outfits' 

Poor Baltics. What did they do to deserve being put in this fic?

that's just cruel' then they spun off stage "we don't know" the pictonians said I thought of what hospitality I could provide 'belly dancing and flowers' I played belly dancing music and hopped on the stage and danced. Every time I could I threw a bunch of flowers to the pictonians. 

Where did she get - I’m not going to question things any more.

I heard my friends shouting out "go, sheila!" "Shake it, Kaitlyn" "go, bella!" when I finished I posed with my hands above my head and one leg at the front the pictonians gave me an unexpected answer "it was good" I jumped off the stage and Alfred picked me up and spun me in the air "dude that was awesome where did you learn to do that?" he asked as he set me on the ground "I went to India a little while back and learned belly dancing" I replied then Germany tried to give a pictonian some beer but struggled a bit "dude, let me help you out" Alfred said then a casino popped out of nowhere. All the pictonians were at slot machines and one hit the jackpot, another got kissed by two girls in bunny costumes. "Men" I said as I walked away from Alfred. 

Haha guise get it? She’s totally a strong independent woman who laughs when men are being stupid even though she has ten of them chasing after her!

I noticed Feli with the pictonians having fun then everything went wrong. The pictonians had eaten one of Arthur's scones and turned blue in the face. "Come on, what-a happened? Let's-a eat another scone" Feli said happily and the pictonians replied "no way" "guys I think this is our cue to leave" jack said and with that we ran. "Well, what now genius?" I ask then Alfred stops at a door and presses a button then the door opens to show us a long drop out of the ship into the ocean "Geronimo!" Alfred yells as he jumps then everyone but me and Feli are left "Feli come on it's better than being turned into a pictonian" I say then we jump. During the fall Feli had his eyes closed, me mine were open and it's a good thing too, because up ahead was a huge pointy rock. We were falling fast so I pushed Feli out of the way and he missed the rock by an inch. I, on the other hand got the full blow of the rock it my stomach leaving a huge gash then my back. 

Wouldn’t she also break some bones and presumably die on impact? Falling from a high place onto a sharp rock would definitely leave more than two gashes.

I fell in the ocean hard and hit my head on a rock I slowly lost consciousness as I rose to the surface. 20 minutes later. I woke up on a sandy surface and I immediately started coughing up water and feeling the sting of salt water in my wounds. "Hello? Is someone there?" I heard a familiar British voice call "Arthur?" I call out but no reply I stand up and limp to where the sound came from. I keep walking until I hear crying I stumble to the noise and soon am hiding behind a tree looking at a camp fire with everyone around it. "b-but, where-a I-I-is Kaitlyn? Feli cried "we need to find her now I-I just couldn't bear to think what I would do without her" Alfred admitted everyone nodded their heads in agreement "it's so nice to see how much you guys care for me" I said as I came out from behind the tree with my cloak covering my body. They all lifted their heads and Feli tackled me to the ground "bella, I-"but before he could finish his sentence I howled out in pain "aaahhhh!" 

You should’ve collapsed a long time ago.

Feli got up and looked at his hands and his eyes opened and widened showing terror "b-bella, w-w-why are-a you bleeding?" he shakily asked I stood up to see everyone staring at me with pale faces "I had a little accident." I said they still didn't look convinced. I felt a pulsing pain in my stomach as I fell to my knees 

Yeah, there it is.

"Kaitlyn!" they all ran to me I undid the lock on me cloak "Kaitlyn what's wrong!?" Alfred asked as he looked like he was about to cry. I removed my cloak and reviling my injuries everyone gasped in horror. "Well are you going t-"I lost consciousness in the middle of my sentence. In my dream world.

It’s magic teleportation man, isn’t it.

"Hello?" I call no answer "hello, poppet." I turn around to see a man with strawberry blond hair and bushie eye brows he had neon blue eyes, he wore a pink vest over a white dress shirt and army green slacks and a purple bow tie. Then it hit me I know who he is "O-Oliver Kirkland!?" 

YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING -

I ask he clapped his hands while jumping up and down "oh, you figured it out poppet well done! But please call me Ollie" he giggled 'only because I read fan fiction' 

How does Kaitlyn reading fanfiction relate to her being allowed to call Oliver “Ollie”? So many sentences in this fic are just strung together with no relation whatsoever.

"you sent me here didn't you?" I asked he stopped bouncing and smiled "yes, we brought you here because you have such a vast knowledge on us and wanted Hetalia to be real so badly that we decide to bring you here and make you a country. Isn't wonderful? We picked you out of all the girls and boys in the world" he said "yes I am grateful but, what do you mean by 'we'?" 

Oh, so her teleportation into the Hetalia world is explained. Still makes no sense why she was picked, though.

I asked he smiled but made it even more cheerful looking "I mean-""the cupcake freak means us, doll" I looked behind me to see 2P America Allen Johnson or as he prefers to called Al, he had red/brown hair, red eyes, a bomber jacket with a fifty on the back, black gloves, sunglasses and, like the fan fiction says, a baseball bat with nails at the top. 

OH MY GOODNESS, NOT THE ANOTHER COLOURS.

And another thing: why is Allen’s appearance described as being “like the fanfiction says”? Since the Another Colour Main Six aren’t canon (only their Nyotalia forms are), everyone has a different interpretation of what they look like. What fanfiction is Kaitlyn referring to?

I need to stop asking questions when it’s clear I won’t get answers.

I started blushing because when I found out about the 2P's I developed a crush on them. "Well hello, doll face" he said as he walked up to me "Al" was all I could say he smiled and put a finger under my chin and moved his face closer about 2 inches from mine "heh, she's pretty cute. No 2P Serenia but hey she's just as cute" 

ANOTHER ONE IN THE HAREM.

he said I backed away a little "you mean I have a 2P?" I asked then Oliver came from behind and hugged me I yelped and winced Oliver looked down and said "oh dear you got injured. We'll bring you to Yung" then another figure appeared with a medical kit. He looked like Yao except he had black hair and red eyes 

Doesn’t regular China also have black hair? Also, what the fuck kind of name is “Yung?” That syllable doesn’t exist in Chinese.

"hello, Mrs. Water lily" he said as he tended to my wounds as I sat on the floor "it's nice to meet you, and you don't have to be so formal with me please call me anything you like" I beamed he had a light blush across his cheeks "fine, I will call you… nightingale because you have the beautiful voice of one" he said I turned bright red. 

You’ve met her for at most five minutes.

When he finished I had a bandage around my whole torso and stomach and head. 

A bandage around her torso, stomach and head? She must look like a mummy from the waist up.

"Thanks, I owe you one." I said "oh, don't worry about it, poppet. We wouldn't want you to be hurt now would we?" Oliver said "now, see that door?" he said as a blue door appeared "uh huh" I said "go straight through it and you'll wake up to the 1P's and have theses bandages on still" he said. 

So the Another Colour characters were only brought up to keep Kaitlyn from dying and providing exposition. Well, I shouldn’t have expected anything more.

I walk to the but I stop when I put my hand on the handle I turn to the 2P's "but will I see any of you guys again" I ask. Al smiles and says "of course. Why wouldn't we want to see your cute face again, doll face" Al replied I nodded and walked through the door. When I wake up. I open my eyes and see Feli asleep and everyone else talking about things 'no sign of Sealand' I sit up and groan "ow, my head" everyone looks at me their eyes widen as I stand up. "Will you stop looking at me like that? I'm fine" I said smiling "cheerio everyone!" we turn our heads to see Sealand on his 'country' 'I haven't met Sealand yet' "I brought my whole country here to help you all!" he shouted "you don't have a whole country to begin with go home you little pipsqueak!" Arthur yelled.

“Sealand and England arguing over whether or not he’s a country” trope, check.

5 minutes later. Everyone just finished eating food from Yoa's resort that was conveniently on the island. 

Who is Yoa?

"I am so full at moment" Yao said rubbing his belly. "Who knew you had a resort on this island" Arthur said I sat on the shore of the ocean, letting the water touch my feet. 'My babies, I raised them from pups and cubs and now their pictonians.'

What an out-of-place line to wrap up this chapter. The conversation has just started, nobody has responded to it and nobody knows what will happen. It feels very abrupt.

...

Well, that was it. I am in immense pain and I feel like I’ve lost a few brain cells. This was maybe the most illogical, unenjoyable thing I’ve read in quite a while, but am I going to also review the other chapters? Yes. For now, I’m going to rethink my life choices and try to forget what I read here.

[dragonnan]

Author Interview Tag

Tagged by @aelaer a week or two ago, thank you!

Name: Tanya (among family I'm Nan or Auntie Nanny)

Fandoms: Sherlock, MCU, Psych, Prodigal Son, and a goodly collection of others

Where you post: For a number of years I posted on FFN but between the really shitty reviews and extremely cumbersome posting process I finally quit.  I posed on Psychfic while still an active part of that fandom but that, too, has pretty much ended.  I put a few stories on Wattpad but found it to be pretty meh. I now post exclusively to AO3.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: It's a tossup between “Fury” on Psychfic and “All Nighter” on AO3 – one based on comments and the other on Kudos.  Frankly “popularity” is really subjective because there's also stuff like read count and with comments, at least nearly half are replies from me and read count also includes re-reads as well as every time I clicked on the damn thing to edit so....

You know I'm just really not sure how to properly answer this??

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Like others have stated you can ask me this on three different days and get three different answers and there will be more than 1 fic mentioned every time so.... Because I write in different fandoms I just absolutely can't list a single fic.  The best I can narrow it would a fic from my top 3 fandoms.

Psych: Paint it Black.  I had read a fic where Shawn was gradually going blind and had really been enjoying it and the challenges it presented.  Sadly it was never completed.  As has happened before I decided I would write my own damn fic if I couldn't get a completed story so that was the primary motivation to start this.  What I most love about this is writing from Shawn's perspective as he navigates being blind and not knowing whether or not his condition is permanent.  I did my best to honor the experience of blind and partially blind people and tried to look beyond the cliché.

MCU: I have so much fun writing these stories! In spite of the dumpster fire the film canon became I do so love this sandbox and employing various forms of unfucking it.  So I'm gonna cheat a little and pick two for my faves here since one is a WIP.  Sed Diabolus.  I don't need to have completed it yet to know this will be my all-time favorite.  This is the first fic that has been entirely plotted out and OMG I'm so excited for iiiit!!  The second is Simple Math which seems like an odd choice given there's zero action – mostly just one character – hell, not even any whump.  But there is something about that deep dive into Tony's mindset that keeps this as a fave even though it was the first thing I ever wrote for the MCU.  I learned about Tony as I wrote this and I also worked my way through those motivations that bothered me regarding Stane.  Even years later I still mentally go back to this fic whenever I write Tony because I feel encapsulates the essence of how I see him as a character.

Sherlock:  Compared to other fandoms I'm still quite new to this fandom so I don't have nearly as many fics.  But I still have a favorite!  And, like with the MCU, it's the first story I ever wrote for this fandom; The Tiger and the Shark. Returning to a plot device I've employed in other fics, this one is built around a sexual assault and taking the character on a journey from that terrible event to the point where they rediscover themselves.  PTSD ever being my favorite form of whump I employ that fairly a lot in this story and employ some kinda radical methods for coping with those memories.  

Fic you were nervous to post: I mean until I start getting comments I'm a world of anxiety with every story I post.  But grabbing a specific fic that hit my nerves – that Sherlock fic I'd said was my fave certainly qualified.  Not only was it my first Sherlock fic – it also was charging out of the gate with a very heavy topic so yeah – I wasn't sure if people would absolutely hate it or find my characterizations totally off or what.

How you choose your titles: It varies a bit.  In some stories, like Sed Diabolus, I actually consult friends on various ideas.  Other times I'll consider songs or lyrics and my favorite thing is if I can alter the known title just a bit to make it more relevant to the fic (I did that a LOT with Psych fics which was the method the show also employed for its episode titles).  One of my favorite Psych titles is “The Wizard Was the Wicked Witch and the Scarecrow Lost His Courage”.  

Do you outline: Almost never – not until “Sed Diabolus”.  That story, though, is so astoundingly complex that without an outline I'd be hopelessly lost.  I am, though, trying to make a practice of outlining more because it helps SO much!

Complete: If we count every one-shot collection and challenge collection it likely is over 200 stories. Of course a lot of those are one-shots.  My total completed chaptered fics number maybe around 34?

In progress: 16 – between Psychfic and AO3.  All Psych stories are on long-term hiatus for the foreseeable future (some, honestly, I will never finish as they are many many years old and I've lost the inspiration for the plot). Several MCU stories are also on the back-burner while I focus on “Sed Diabolus”.  I admit I get LOTS of story ideas and staying focused on a single fic is not something I've ever been greatly successful with.

Coming soon/not yet started: I meaaaan.... lots?? I have probably several hundred ideas and partially started fics across many fandoms.  As to “imminently coming soon...” I don't think I currently have an active story that I haven't already posted at least a first chapter.  Sadly I have zero patience for developing something for months before posting which is why I have so many WIPs.  That said I DO have a Sherlock au that has been poking at me now and then involving the witch trials that started in Denmark and, eventually, made their way to Salem.  The idea would be that Molly Hooper is accused of being a witch.  She, of course, is innocent but cause this unfortunate attention due to her “uncanny” ability to heal the sick and injured (not so much uncanny as opposed to employing methods that aren't so reliant on superstition and folklore).  

She is scheduled to be tortured and executed but is saved by Sherlock – a strange recluse primarily ignored and given a pass as he solves mysteries for people. He and his friend John save Molly from this awful fate. The twist is that Sherlock is a sorcerer (bit of marvel crossover-ish) and able to transport them to safety.  

Do you accept prompts: I wish I could cause I love ideas but I don't have the time/energy to always work on what I already have and I'm awful at follow thru.  Like I will never turn away an Ask wanting to share ideas but I can't promise that I can actually write anything.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write:  As was the reply to a previous query – I have lots that are ideas that will linger in partial stages for sometimes years.  If it's “upcoming” I've already posted the first chapter lol!  But, again, I have several story ideas that whenever I poke through my folders I get excited about someday actually writing them.  Here is a teaser for an MCU fic involving Tony Stark and Obie (I still feel this was never explored enough – certainly not in fic):

They were doing a retrospective, ten year anniversary kinda... whatever.  Unofficial, of course. Certainly nothing Pepper would have dreamed up even at her most drunk (which, honestly, was never her scene.  Tony had sorta owned that space well beyond the time it had started owning him).  Whose idea it ultimately had been?  Frankly Tony couldn't give a fuck.  That he was asked to be one of the speakers was slightly more... awkward. Awkward was the right word, yeah?  Nauseating was certainly another and possibly a bit more accurate.

Dead for a decade and Obadiah Stane still managed to fuck with his life.

But... it hadn't always been that way. At least, not as he'd believed back when the Walkman had been on every kid's Christmas list.  

He'd thought it was bonding; at the time.  His dad had never been one for just hanging out; shooting the shit; telling tales out of school.  No, Pops, when he bothered to interact, led with questions.  “You keeping your grades up?” “You still seeing that floozy?” “When are you going to pull your head out of your ass and grow the hell up?” “You do realize it's my name you're disgracing every time you go on a bender?”

With Obie it was just, easy.  Obie might ask about school but it was always with approval and pride.  He would discuss Tony's conquests as though Tony had climbed Kilimanjaro wearing nothing but underwear and a cape.    

Obie was there when his father wasn't. Which meant that Obie was always there.  The first time he got astoundingly drunk on his father's scotch, Obie was the one to help him hunch over the toilet and vomit expensive, aged booze into the toilet.  Obie was also the one to replace the depleted bottle to keep Howard in the dark.  For a fourteen year old kid still trying to gain his dad's favor, that had meant everything.

He saw his first porn with Obie; sex education ala Traci Lords, three months shy of his fifteenth birthday.  That was the same time he was introduced to weed.  Obie had cautioned him to use it sparingly; didn't want to fry that genius brain, he'd say, and ruffle his hair.  The porn had made him uncomfortable.  Obie had turned it off and told him they could watch whatever Tony wanted.  They'd ended up changing the station to Knight Rider; smoking and munching Cheetos and laughing over their orange fingers.

It was Obie who was there, arm around his shoulders, after his parents died.  He desperately didn't want to sob in front of the man.  Things were so complicated with his dad that all he felt was blinding guilt... as though some part of him had caused this.  But Obie had filled him with bourbon until the emotions got soft around the edges and he'd sat beside the older man, head tipping gradually to the right until he was held up by Obie's shoulder.  Obie had just slung an arm around him and let Tony pass out while he rubbed a broad hand up and down his bicep.

It was strange, now, looking back with adult perspective.  A perspective that included Afghanistan and his intended execution while Obie talked about legacy and responsibility while Tony's lungs slowly seized.  He'd taken the time to sit there – arm around Tony's shoulders while one broad hand traveled up and down Tony's bicep – just like when he was a kid and Obie was the whole world.

He'd tried to remember if it had felt so... tainted... at the time.  Or if he'd always believed it was love.

Obie had never quite crossed that line. Though hindsight offered a peek into that possibility with enough clarity Tony had fought with his cramping gut for nearly thirty minutes.  He'd staved off vomiting though he was fairly certain his dignity had still been in tatters what with Bruce wandering in on his misery.

Upcoming story you are most excited about (this is basically a repeat of the above question so I decided to change it.  Do you have a future story idea you'd like to write that is not yet beyond the vague idea stage?  I love stories that put Molly in some sort of jeporady and I have a barely formed idea to someday write a “stalker fic” of some sort and not I don't care that this trope had been done on  repeat – I still love it lol!  I have a smidge of writing for it:

“I need your help.”

As afternoons at Baker Street went, this was a mundane request heard so often that Sherlock's typical reply, “Obviously, or you wouldn't be here”, could have been printed on flash cards.  The detective had actually made the suggestion after a particularly full day at the flat and having heard the statement no less than twenty times.  

Today, however, Sherlock merely blinked for a moment.  Then, with an awkwardness rare to a man with a lethal sort of grace in his movements, Sherlock gestured to John's chair, JOHN'S CHAIR, before taking his usual seat.

Molly didn't exactly smile but her lips edged up a bit before she sat.

John cleared his throat before pointing a vague hand towards the kitchen.  “I'll just go make some tea, shall I?”

“No, please, I...”  The stammer in her speech was not uncommon; though John couldn't recall such obvious fear.  Forgoing the kitchen he, instead, took the hard wooden chair facing the other two.

“Molly, what's wrong?”

Tagging: @kitcat992 @mizjoely @sgam76 @ariaadagio @hanuko @ceruleanmindpalace 

[spunky-89]

A Very Merry Christmas (Part Two)

A/N: So here is the next part. This is the part I was most excited about. I know that last one wasn’t that great, but I just had so many cute little snippets I didn’t want to leave them out. But I promise this part is much more cohesive.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 3000

The presents were wrapped, the lights on the tree twinkling, soft Christmas music played, the fireplace roaring, and Steve, Bucky, and (Y/N) were all gathered in their living room on Christmas morning. There was a gentle snowfall outside and it felt magical. For the first time in a while, the three felt as though nothing could ruin their happy bubble. It was picture perfect. 

They decided to have some coffee while they opened presents, as (Y/N) was cold and tired, and Bucky was always grumpy till he had his caffeine in the mornings. Steve decided to prepare it for his two tired lovers. He knew how they both liked their coffees and what mugs they were to be put in. Though he didn’t put them in their normal mugs, as he decided to get them both a Christmas mug just for this reason. They were a little tacky, but they were all little kids when it came to Christmas. 

Once Steve delivered the coffees and they cooed at the new mugs, he joined them on the floor in front of the tree. They all sat there for a minute. There was no rush, no hustle and bustle, just peace. 

None of them wanted to break the bubble of peace, but they were excited to watch each other open their gifts, even more excited then they were to open their own.

“Okay, so I guess we should start on this massive pile.” You said. You then gave the boys a look and said, “Which by the way, you guys went way overboard.” 

“Can we not spoil the love of our lives,” Steve said with a smile.

“Mhmm,” You said squinting at them, their matching mischievous looks worried you slightly.

“Here, open this one first,” Bucky said gently handing you a box.

“Why am I going first?” 

“Becaaauuussseeee.” He whined.

“Okay, okay. Sheesh.”

You took a good look at the box. It was pretty big and you knew nothing you had put on your list was that big. The wrapping was also weird but you just figured they had trouble with it. You started slowly unwrapping it, trying not to jostle the box since the little Christmas label on the front said fragile. The paper gave way to a plain cardboard box. You were confused and shot the boys a look, but they were both smiling widely. You also noticed Bucky was filming you.

“Buccckkyyyyyy, no video or pictures.” You whined.

“Just this one doll, I promise.”

“Fine,” You grumbled as you started to peel the tape off the top.

As the two flaps came loose, the top pushed up a bit. You jumped from the shock, quickly looking to Steve and Bucky to make sure everything was fine, but they looked even more excited now. You looked back to the box as you watched a small head pop out. 

Tears immediately came to your eyes as you took in the small white-furred head.

“Shut up,” You squeaked out, the tears starting to stream.

“Well you always say you wanted a friend to comfort you when we’re gone, so we got you one,” Steve said softly.

“Oh my god,” You sobbed. You lifted the flaps and gently grabbed the cat from the box. The cat instantly snuggled into you. You cried louder.

You saw a note on one of the flaps and grabbed it, the cat still heald to your chest with one hand. You flipped open the letter and started reading it aloud.

Dear mommy,

I have had a lot of names in my life, but you can give me a new one. I am 4 years old. My new daddies rescued me from the shelter. They say this is going to be my forever home, but I am nervous. I have been brought back to the shelter 5 times. The nice people at the shelter take good care of me, but it’s not the same as a home. The shelter people didn’t want to let my daddies bring me home, they wanted to keep me a foster kitty, but they promised you would love me unconditionally and never bring me back. I hope they’re right. I am a very gentle and calm cat. I actually enjoy cuddles, some times. I do enjoy playing, but I don’t mind just lying around either.

I think I kept getting brought back because I have a small disability and after my third failed home, I have trouble trusting new families. I am not a vocal cat, I tend to keep very quiet unless I am in pain or distress. I guess most families want a kitty that will talk to them. Also, since I am getting older, no one wants me. They all want babies. I don’t blame them. I was once one of the cute kittens everyone wanted. 

I cannot wait to bond with you and love you for the rest of my life.

The tears just kept flowing as you finished reading.

“Oh, you poor baby. I promise to always love you. You’ll never have to go back.” You sobbed into the cat’s fur.

You looked up to your boyfriends and cried “Thank you!”

“You are so welcome sweetheart,” Steve smiled.

You sniffled and tried to start calming the tears. You noticed your new cat was trying to reach the wrapping paper so you giggled and gave them a piece. 

“Is it a boy or a girl?” You asked the boys after reading over the note again to be sure you didn’t miss that detail.

“Damn, knew we forgot something in the letter,” Bucky mumbled.

“It’s okay, I love it and will cherish it forever.” You said as you refolded the letter and put it on the coffee table behind you. 

“It is a girl.”

“She’s so beautiful, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to give her up.” You said as you stroked her fur as she batted the wrapping paper around.

“Their loss is our gain,” Bucky said with a wide smile.

“Alright, let’s dig into the rest of these while you think of names,” Steve said as he started passing presents.

“I don’t need to think, her name is Minxy.”

“Minxy?” Bucky asked.

“Yup, and before you ask why, she just looks like a Minxy to me.”

“Okay then, Minxy it is.” Steve smiled.

In the end, they had given you everything you would need for the newest member of your family. This included bowls, food, a bed, a cat tower, some toys, and a collar (with the promise of a tag with her name). They also got a few small regular gifts for you such as a new frame collage for the living room, a pair of heels you’d been eyeing for a while, and a gift card to Sephora (they said they wanted to buy the actual items but they got scared when they entered so the clerk suggested a gift card). 

Steve had gotten some new sketchbooks and pencils (he broke them so often it was a given for his birthday and Christmas), a nice watch, and a drawing tablet. He was skeptical but you were sure once he got the hang of it, he’d never put it down.

Bucky was gifted with some new colorful knitted fingerless gloves from a cute Etsy shop, a new journal, and some cologne.

“Okay boys, now I’m really happy I decided to do this after what you boys did, but I did something special for you both, well two things, but the one is kinda - well you’ll see when you open it.” You said as you grabbed your last two gifts for the boys.

You first handed them the smaller box, stealing your cat back from Bucky who was entertaining her with reflections from his hand.

“To remind us of this moment forever,” Steve read as he lifted the gift from the inside. It was a small white ornament, it was a thin circle with the words Our First Christmas. 

“I know technically this isn’t our first Christmas, but it is our first official Christmas together since we were still figuring out our relationship last year as well as you guys had to go on assignment.” You explained.

“It’s perfect darlin, and very sweet and thoughtful,” Bucky said with a smile.

“Did you make this yourself?” Steve asked.

“Well I bought the ornament but yeah, I hand-painted it.”

“Woman, you will never cease to amaze me.” Bucky exhaled.

“It’s not a big deal, nothing even in the ballpark of what Steve can do.”

“But you are just as good in a lot of art forms I am not.” Steve pointed out.

“All right, stop. Just open the next gift.” You said thrusting the bigger box towards them.

After tearing through the paper, they were faced with a faux worn leather book, colorful letters spelling out Our Adventure Book. They gave you a look and Steve lifted it out. It was a large book, thick with pages crammed in. He flipped open the first page. There was a note on it.

For the adventures we have had in the past and the ones we will have in the future ♡

They turned the next page and they found a picture of Steve and (Y/N) dancing at one of Tony’s fancy parties, they had huge smiles on their faces as they laughed. Next to the picture was the date and a small blurb of what she remembered from that night. The next page had two pictures. They were also of Steve and (Y/N), this one was clearly from the paparazzi but it was cute. It was of the two of them in Coney Island. (Y/N) was riding piggyback on Steve as she held a cotton candy in one hand and a stuffed tiger in her other. One picture was from the back and one from the front. The picture where you could see their faces Steve was smiling wide as you laughed. There were a few more pictures of the years before Bucky. One stuck out. In bold letters at the top, When I Realized I Loved You. There was a small passage below it.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think this is the moment where I fell in love with you. Though I think it was a gradual thing, this moment really solidified it. I think I subconsciously pushed the idea of being in love with you away in fear of ruining what we had. But as I was putting this book together, I came across this picture and I realized that this was the moment I realized. I will forever be grateful for this moment, even if it was one of the worst days of my life, I think the outcome was pretty good.

The picture was one Friday had taken. The Avengers had been off on a mission that went south fast. There was radio silence and Friday could not get a beat on any of them. By this point, you and Steve had already been friends for over a year. You had seen him off on missions before, you’d seen them go bad. But never like this. 

You were at the tower, having been escorted there for your safety. You had been watching the news, looking at the death and destruction that was occurring. Then, your heart dropped. You watched as Steve was launched through the air and off the side of a building. You couldn’t see where he landed, but it was a far drop into mass chaos. You had let out a piercing scream, collapsing to the ground. 

Luckily, he came out the other side alive. He was beaten and bruised, but he was alive. The picture captured the moment when he stepped off the plane and you launched yourself into his arms. You were both holding each other tightly and crying, glad that you both were alive and together. 

The tears were streaming down Steve’s face as he read the passage and looked at the picture, remembering vividly the day. You were crying as well, you knew which page he was on and it still hit you hard. 

Once Steve was able to see properly again and took a deep breath, they kept flipping. There were more pictures of you and Steve, then the first pictures with Bucky were actually ones you had managed to scrounge up from the deep dark web (also known as bullying Tony until he helped). It was of Steve and Bucky back in the 40s. There were a few from before the war, childhood and teenage years, then pictures of them while they were at war. You had left space so they could fill in their thoughts and feelings about each picture.

The next two pictures were from the first day you met Bucky. Near the end of the day, Bucky had lightened up (). He was smiling and laughing with Steve. That was the first picture. Steve and Bucky on your old shitty couch laughing. They both looked so much younger. Then the picture next to it was of the three of you. Steve caught you taking pictures and dragged you onto his lap and you took a selfie of the three of you. 

After that, there were more pictures of the fun times you had together and separately. 

Bucky’s breathing stopped when he got to his page. When I Knew I Loved You.

It was much quicker with you then it was with Steve. Almost instant. You were still so sad and broken, but you swore I helped you feel whole again. It was sappy and you always said it in a joking tone, but the sincerity shone in your eyes each time. And it made me so glad that I could do something to help numb some of the pain that you had been harboring for decades. On this day, it was something so small, so insignificant, but it meant everything. This little gesture, though it ended in a bit of a disaster, made me freeze. I realized I loved you. At that time I had already been playing the game with myself of ‘I love Steve as a best friend’ so I started to do the same thing with you. Looking back, I was an idiot, but that is beside the point. Loving you came naturally, and it made me work twice as hard to make you believe that you deserve to be loved and cared for.

The memory spoken of was only about 5 or so months after you had first met Bucky. You had a horrible day and were feeling like crawling into bed and never emerging. Bucky had called to ask if you wanted to meet him and Steve for dinner, but you declined. You had done your best to mask the emotion in your voice, but clearly, you had failed. 

20 minutes after your phone call, you heard a knock at the door but didn’t feel like answering. A moment later the lock clicked as the door was opened, you were worried for a minute before you heard his voice announce he was here. You heard him mulling around in the main area before approaching your bedroom. He gently knocked on the door. You let out some form of noise and he crept in. He told you he had brought some stuff and he was gonna make dinner. He picked you up and brought you into the kitchen where he sat you on a counter. You saw a beautiful bouquet of flowers on your table. When you questioned why he was doing this, he said he wanted you to feel the same support you always gave him when he was feeling down. He ended up burning the food. The pictures on the page were of that night. First was a picture of the bouquet, then him cooking, then the food burning, his flurry to try and put it out, then his pouting face at dinner while eating takeout. 

Bucky laughed, though his eyes were misty. He looked up at you and said, “Thank you, this is so…”

“Don’t worry about it, every word in there is true. I love you both so much.” You said

“And we, you,” Steve replied. 

They continued flipping through. There were more pictures, including the first day you decided to become more than friends, your first date night at home, your first date night out, and so many more. They were about halfway into the book. The flipped another page over and there was a small blurb on a sticky note and below it, three slips of paper taped to the page. The sticky note read The rest of the book is for our many adventures to come. These tickets are for the next one. They furrowed their eyebrows and looked closer at them. Their eyes went wide. They looked at you, looked at the page, you, page, you, page.

“You’re kidding me? Sweetheart,” 

“I want to. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, this year just seemed like the perfect time.” You smiled.

The pieces of paper were fake tickets you had made. They said ‘good for one 5 day Disney World tickets, flights, and lodging’. 

“This is too much,” Bucky said.

“You got me a cat, I don’t see the difference.”

They both gave you looks. You just smiled. They both moved over closer to you and tackled you to the floor, showering you with kisses. You giggled as they did so. Even your new kitty joined in and started batting at your face. 

“Merry Christmas sweetheart,” Steve said.

“Merry Christmas my loves,”

“Merry Christmas! And if I do say so myself, I’d say it was a very merry Christmas.”

“Shut up dork/punk!” You and Steve spoke at nearly the same time.

It was a very Merry Christmas indeed.

A/N: I am sure it is obvious, but full disclaimer, I know nothing about cats. My whole family is allergic and so I can’t get one. Please, please, please, let me know if there is anything major I am describing wrong or characterizing wrong and I will adjust in future installations with Minxy. Also, for those who want to know, I picked a snow lynx bengal cat (also known as a white bengal). And if you recognize the name as a name for a different white striped cat (though my minxy is much smaller then her namesake), let me know. I’d be curious to know if anyone knows where I got the name from :)

[trashy-croud]

Jungle - India 🗺️🐒

So, where do we start? So I did initially start this game with the Manor run, seeing how well I did the assault course and the driving and I did pretty okay. I mean, I remember them clear as day as this croft manor was the one I played the most as a child on the PC, whilst my dad was at work so I didn't lose his progress. After getting used to all the controls again, and finding out there was a sprint button, I decided to start this game up for real. I won't say much about croft manor, may look at it more after all of this but I'll focus on the main story for now.

So let’s begin on this new adventure with Lara. In the very beginning cutscene, before the menu appears, we see a meteor crashing onto Earth. It landed in Antarctica, had to look this up, as during the time it crashed, Antarctica was tropical. This very first cinematic is set over a million years ago, long before our little adventurer had anything to do with it. As we move onto the present day, we’re in the Antarctica that we all known and love to well as there seems to be some people doing research there, some digging and whatnot. One man who is there is named Willard, he’s totally not the bad guy. I sweaaar.  Anywho a lot of the machinery goes wrong, from what I can tell, they basically made a discovery of a set of stone heads, very much like the ones on Easter Island in Antarctica. It is a huuuge wild ride in one cutscene alone! And then we are shown at the end, the discovery of a handmade grave/post/thing, for one Mr Paul Caulfield. I suppose he’s going to have quite the impact on our adventure and like Willard says, "This place has a busy history." I don’t think he’s too far from the tree, ya know.

So after all that, we finally begin, woo, finally talking about the first level of this game and boy, was I struggling to get used to this and had to go through it several times to obtain all the secrets. Yes, I know about you “All Hallows” and I will not make the same mistake as I did in the previous game! So in this first level, we start off in India, off in the jungles. It doesn’t specify where precisely, we’ll perhaps get more information on all of that as we progress further through these few levels, but all I know is that things have changed and boy, do I gotta talk about them!

So for starters, we have a mixed save system. Playing on the playstation, I don’t get unlimited saves like on the PC or like the second instalment of the game, well, not anymore. Instead we have a combination of the first game with the save crystals and the second game with getting to save whenever we please. But, now we have limitations on the saves, which means someone is going to have to be extra careful with her saves from now on and not waste all of her save crystals carelessly~ Note to self: if they are anything like the flares or how many times I saved in the previous game, these crystals will not be lasting long.

Also, I don’t have a button to use my flares constantly either. I have to actually open my backpack up and then think, I have to think about whether I need them or not. Do we understand how this is a mind-blowing mechanic for someone like me who wasted them all in the early levels of the game and never got them again?! On one hand, it’s super helpful for people like me, but on the other hand, it’s also annoying because I can’t access them within a second of needing them. So you know, there are pros and cons to this little feature. But I will have to adapt!

Final note before I actually talk about the level itself. Heh. Secrets. I mentioned earlier that I was going to collect them all to get the secret level but did I mention that it’s not like the second game anymore? I’m so used to the idea I only have to collect three secrets that when it popped up with the statistics screen, when it said “3 of 6″, I think I about lost it? Like, it’s gone back to the first instalment’s idea of secrets, which I ain’t complaining about. It just threw a huge spanner in the works and goes to show that this is going to take ten times longer for me to complete! So don’t expect a finale any time soon! I feel like, in particular levels, I’m going to miss the obviousness which was the dragon statues you had to find previously. I’m sure I’ll complain about it all soon enough, just you wait.

Anyway, right, so let’s actually talk about the level itself! As the first level of this game, it really did not pull any punches. You are literally given three secrets to find at the very start of the level, that later two I found much easier but the first one was so dang hard. Like, I kid you not, I was trying everything, looking everywhere I could and how I was supposed to find this secret was beyond me. Like I was just jumping around on the slope, hoping I’d find something and low and behold, I bloody well did! This was only the beginning of my struggles as the level pressed forward. After finding the first three secrets, which were quite literally one after the other, we’re introduced to something new. And oh dear god, I’m gonna hate it. It’s quicksand! Yaaaay.

After overcoming the quicksand, we met new... enemies? Well, we met some monkeys, but they seem friendly, at least for now but that is bound to change very quickly. Because it’s a Tomb Raider game. And nice enemies don’t happen often. Y’know, like the tigers that try to maul us to death later on and the addition to some new watery enemies, yeah, watery. I used that word. Piranhas. Oh boy, I don’t like this. Water is meant to be my safe zone, although there are sometimes shark and crocodiles/alligators, I can cope. Even with the odd barracuda and the like, I can cope. But piranhas? Oh no. We are done. Because these awkward little swines cannot be killed as far as I know, and I’m ready to absolutely weep at them! But nonetheless, we somehow still trudged on. We’re just plodding along.

We encountered traps like never before, we met boulders and spikes and more boulders, oh and zip lines. Now, you may be thinking, “But Croud, how are zip lines traps? They help you?” And now here’s the part where I prove you wrong because I cannot use zip lines to save my life. The amount of times I died in the floating island level due to zip lines is unreal, and they’re here in this game too? Oh they are certainly classed as traps on my list. You can make sure of that!

To make a long story short this level put me through the works. Like so many works it’s unreal. 

This level did not pull on any punches and really got you involved in it. I thought “The Great Wall” was a wacky trap filled first level, but this. This wasn’t just filled with traps, no, we got multiple routes, more exploration. It felt much less linear yet you still knew the way to go. It almost made the level more expansive? I believe that’s the right way to put it. Was probably the reason this level took me so long. I’ll hopefully make the next post much more structured compared to this one, but right now, I want to just gush over how many flare I have. 34! That’s right, ya girls’ been good with ‘em. It won’t last long so took a picture to commemorate it. 

Over all, I greatly enjoyed this first level, it has truly set a tone for the rest of the game to come. Finished it in style by jumping into more quicksand in the end, which really did make me panic - all before we were given the final cutscene, one where Willard makes his appearance once more, or at least an audio appearance rather than a physical one.

During this last cutscene, Lara comes across a campsite and a radio from which we can hear Willard talking, or better yet, trying to get into contact with someone from this site. That is when we are introduced to the “loon” known as Tony. He did not hold back with our Lara, though I’m sure he was suffering from jungle madness with the way he spoke and his attitude. After going in a bit of a circle with him about how many there were of her, we finally get to the point as to why Lara is in this jungle. The Infada artifact. Finally we get a name for the mysterious artifact we’ve been searching for and it sure does sound mysterious. Though Tony doesn’t seem to agree with us completely, summarising it plainly as “voodoo magic and all that”. Perhaps he has seen it before or witnessed what it can do? Though that summary definitely did not impress our Lara as she was asking about anyone else who could talk to her on a more intellectual level, or without brushing off what she was talking about as just “voodoo magic”.

Tony certainly doesn’t have his way with women, we can see that for certain. And he didn’t impress Lara further with the mention of Randy and Rory, who he said was staying put in that temple. Now that ain’t boding too well. Nor do the last words Tony leaves us with, which are quite literally “die” as he jumps off a ledge, disappearing with giggles galore. He was right when he said the jungle was truly rotting his brain, or perhaps it is actually something else that is causing this? Now as someone who hasn’t played the game, nor gotten further than literally this level alone, this cutscene has always been one to make me believe that Tony ain’t a trustworthy guy, and boy was my gut instincts as a child were right. Because I still don’t trust this giggly arse! 

But now that’s it! At least for now. This has been the jungle levels as we explore more of the India levels, now moving onto the Temple Ruins. This game is giving me a different kind of feeling to the previous instalment and oh god, I’m currently enjoying it. Though I’m petrified because this is new territory. Hopefully we can get all these secrets! But see you all soon in the temple ruins, where we’re sure to meet Randy and Rory, or at east whatever is left of them from the sounds of it?

[lovemesomerafael]

Others Like Me                                  Chapter 10:  Spain

Chapters 1-5     Chapter 6     Chapter 7  

Chapter 8   Chapter 9    Read it on AO3

Most of the team sleeps on the way back to the Compound, but only Bucky gets on the plane, takes a seat, and sleeps until they hit the tarmac in New York. Actually, he doesn’t sleep the entire time; he wakes up a few times, blinks, remembers, and forces himself to go back to sleep again.  He knows he can’t just sleep until he feels better, like he used to back in Brooklyn when he had the flu.  But it’s working for now.  

He doesn’t dream, at least that he can tell.  Too exhausted, maybe.  

It doesn’t escape him that, every time he wakes up, Steve’s sitting next to him. Sometimes he’s asleep, too, but mostly he’s reading or talking softly to Clint or one of the soldiers.  Bucky wonders if Steve knows how much that helps.  Probably.  But when he can, Bucky’s going to tell him, anyway.  He can’t, right now.  But he can reach out and take Steve’s hand where it’s resting in Steve’s lap.  So he does.  Bucky closes his eyes and goes back to sleep, so he doesn’t see Steve spend the next hour staring at their clasped hands, or feel the tear that escapes to fall onto Bucky’s fingers and then roll down onto Steve’s.  

Back home, it’s morning and Bucky can’t sleep anymore.  He looks around for something to catch his interest, but he doesn’t want to sit still, he’s too tired and sore to work out, and his stab wound isn’t healed enough yet to go for a run.  So he just prowls the compound like a tiger in a cage, restless and melancholy. He’s glad there’s no one around. Steve and Clint are here somewhere, but Tony, Bruce, Natasha, and Sam have all stayed behind to help the Troops figure out their next steps.  Scott’s gone back wherever he came from.  It’s quiet, and there’s no one to be bothered by Bucky’s edginess and constant roaming.

Eventually, he unpacks his gear and works on cleaning and repairs, just for something to occupy his hands.  His mind’s kind of fuzzy, which he figures is probably a good thing.  In his mind, he’s replaying the operation to destroy the bunker and free the Troops, like he always does after a mission, but mostly he’s trying not to think about anything.  He doesn’t want to think about Marya, and he’s not ready to think about Steve.  

The next week goes kind of like that, although every day’s a little better than the last.  Tony gets back and he’s full of ideas for the Troops.  The twelve who are staying together have chosen to live in Spain, in the Basque country west of Bilbao, and Tony and the other Avengers have an idea for a compound sort of like this one, if a little more self-sustaining.  The first thing the Troops did was to choose names for themselves, real names, rather than their number designations, which Natasha thinks is a good sign.  She’s helping them start figuring out the real world, and Sam’s helping them begin to process what they’ve been through and done in their years as Hydra captives. Bruce is working on plans for the compound, which Tony is, of course, financing.  

Steve explains to Bucky that there’s more to this than mere altruism.  The Troops are still dangerous as hell, yet extremely vulnerable.  It’s critical that The Avengers keep in close contact and on good terms with them so that they don’t just become the pawns of some other organization like Hydra, or worse. Besides which, they’ll be great allies if needed in a fight.  

It hurts to hear about them.  Bucky wants to be there; he knows he’s their “brother”, and he should be there.  But he simply can’t.  Tony is full of funny stories about the Troops misunderstanding common turns of phrase, and it reminds Bucky so much of Marya he feels it like a knife in his gut.  He’ll get there.  He knows he will, and it won’t be that long.  But not today, and not next week.  Nobody’s rushing him.  

Steve’s not rushing him into anything, either.  For the first month, that suits Bucky fine.  Their friendship was in such tatters a short time ago that it’s nice, for now, to start simply.   When Bucky had first been rescued from Hydra, he’d been a mess, and Steve had simply been present, letting Bucky set the tone and speed of their reunion.  After that, when Bucky was fully Bucky again, he’d tried as hard as Steve had to recapture the easy intimacy of their friendship and, for the most part, they’d succeeded for a short time.  But things had fallen apart when they’d tried to rekindle their romance.  The romance wasn’t the problem – God knows that wasn’t the problem – but every time he’d tried, Bucky had found himself unable to keep from pulling away, so shamed and disgusted by himself he couldn’t bear to let Steve get close.  The more Steve had pushed, the further Bucky had retreated, until he’d finally decided the least painful alternative for them both was to give up on ever being able to let Steve love him again.  They’d both been so frustrated that they were barely speaking even before Bucky had been abducted and met Marya.

Things are different now.  They’ve been repairing their friendship since before the bunker, even when Bucky was with Marya.  And when she’d told Bucky that she wasn’t coming back with him - that he was ready to be with Steve again, where he belongs - Bucky had known she was right.

It’s taken Bucky this long to get over the shock and initial grief of Marya’s death.  These days, however, he can think about her and smile.  It still hurts like a bitch, but the truth is, she’s been gone almost as long as she was in Bucky’s life.  And Steve’s here.  

They’ve started training together again, which is what they’re doing right now. The serum lets them beat the crap out of each other if they want to, knowing everything will be pretty much healed by the next day.  But Bucky’s been noticing that, lately, he wants to tackle and wrestle Steve a lot more than he wants to punch or kick him, and he knows exactly what that’s about. It’s time.  He thinks Steve’s there, too, but he won’t make a move.  Every time Bucky tries, Steve gives him this “let’s take it slow” speech, the exact opposite of what he did when Bucky really needed to take it slow.  It just wouldn’t be their relationship if they didn’t fuck things up ten ways to Sunday.

Steve’s just thrown Bucky over his head to land with a thud flat on his back, knocking the breath out of him for a minute.  Bucky’s smiling.  He would be laughing if his lungs were currently working, and Steve’s being a complete smug dick about it.  When Bucky catches his breath, Steve makes the mistake of reaching down to help him up from the mat and gets his feet swept out from under him.  In less than a second, Bucky’s got him pinned and his legs trapped with his own.  

“You’re such a sucker!”

“It’s called manners,” Steve huffs.  “You should try it.”

“Make me.”

For the next few minutes, Steve tries to do that, but Bucky’s having it all his way. The end result is a lot of writhing around while Bucky’s lying pretty much fully along Steve which is, of course, Bucky’s entire intention.  

“All right, fine,” Steve sighs disgustedly.  “You win this one.”

“Uh-huh.  Now gimme my prize.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Kiss me.”

Steve’s instantly on alert.  He frowns and goes all concerned.  Bucky rolls his eyes.  “Shit, Steve, it’s just a kiss.  I’m not askin’ you to marry me.”

“I know, Buck, but I’m trying to do things right this time.  Tryin’ to take it slow.”

“Fine.  Kiss me slow,” Bucky grins.

Steve’s uncertain, but Bucky’s not, and he also happens to be kind of a shit. So he starts rubbing against Steve, leaning down to within a fraction of an inch of his lips, and not letting him get away.  “C’mon,” he purrs.  “What’re you afraid of?”

“Not you, that’s for sure.”

“Then fuckin’ kiss me, punk.”

Steve does.  Bucky can feel that he’s into it, and he’s breathing hard, but he keeps the kiss gentle and almost chaste.

“What am I, your sister?”  Bucky growls. “I said kiss me.”

That works.  The next thing Bucky knows, he’s the one lying under Steve, who’s straddling him and kissing him for real.  It’s about time.  

It feels glorious to have Steve’s hot mouth on his, kissing him hard and invasively, all tongue and moans.  Bucky keeps trying to grind against him, and it works for a few minutes, but then Steve pulls back and rolls off of Bucky.

“What the hell?  Come back here,” Bucky groans, reaching for Steve, who moves a little away.

“Can’t help it, Bucky, you’re just so damn sexy.”

“Which is a reason to come back over here, lame-brain, not move away.”

“No, but, I just don’t wanna start something we can’t finish.”

“Why the hell can’t we finish it?  I want to finish it.  That’s kind of the point I’m makin’ here.”

“It’s too soon.”

“Buddy, it’s been too long.”

Bucky reaches for Steve, who stands up and moves a few steps away.  He pulls his fingers through his hair, clearly troubled. “C’mon, Buck, stop it.  You know I can’t resist you.”

“Then don’t!”

“Dammit, Bucky, this isn’t a game.  I love you.  I’m tryin’ to do right by you.”

Bucky sits up, sighing in frustration.  “OK, OK. Look, I know that.  I just…  I want you, Stevie.”

“Yeah, I got that message.  And I’m right there with you.  But I’m playin’ for keeps here, Bucky.  I pushed too hard before.  I’m not makin’ that mistake again.”

“Even if it kills me?”  Bucky’s voice is half-shriek, half-whine.

“If it didn’t kill me before, it won’t kill you now.  Quit bein’ such a baby.”

Bucky smirks up at Steve from where he’s sitting on the mat.  “I’m not gonna quit tryin’.”

“Good.  Don’t. Because I’m not always gonna say no.”

 As good as his word, Bucky continues to try to seduce Steve.  Steve’s maintained his boundaries so far, but Bucky’s been steadily eroding them.  Steve’s willing to make out, shirts optional, and he’s OK with them getting a little handsy sometimes.  Bucky’s even been able to get him so worked up he agreed to mutual hand jobs a couple times, but so far he hasn’t been able to get Steve’s pants off.  It’s been frustrating in the extreme, but it’s also been the right thing to do.  Bucky’s never going to give Steve the satisfaction of telling him that, but he knows it’s true.  

Three months after the bunker mission, Bucky goes to Spain.  Natasha’s experiences are similar to those of the Troops in many ways, and that’s already proved to be a very good thing on a number of occasions.  They’re free and adapting much faster than anyone expected, but they’re still traumatized and living in an alien world.  Natasha has some things she needs to take care of, and she thinks Bucky needs to be there in her absence.  It’s definitely time for him to help out, and he feels ready.  

In the hangar, Steve kisses Bucky good bye and they agree they’ll see each other in two weeks, either at the Compound or in Spain, if Bucky’s still there.  

“I been thinkin’ maybe, when you get back, we could talk about makin’ some changes around here,” Steve says, holding Bucky close and whispering in his ear.

“Yeah?  Like what?”

“Like, maybe… sleeping arrangements.”

Bucky pulls back, completely surprised.  “You son of a bitch!  You say that to me now, when I’m leavin’ the country?”

“I thought it’d be good for us to, you know, think about it first.”

“Oh, I’ll be thinkin’ about it, all right.  C’mere, you.”

Bucky kisses the daylights out of Steve for a full five minutes before the rest of the crew making the flight begin to be obvious about their impatience. Smiling into Steve’s eyes, he says, “I love you.  I’ll see you in two weeks.”  Then he wiggles his eyebrows.  “Naked.”

“You really know how to ruin a romantic moment, you know that?”

Bucky hugs Steve again, chuckling, and Steve whispers, “I love you, Buck.”

 Marya’s brother, now called Dmitriy, meets the Quinjet with a truck, to take Bucky and the others, and the supplies they’ve brought, back to where the Troops are building their Compound.  They won’t find it without an escort, and even if they did, they wouldn’t make it past the perimeter that’s been set up.  

Dmitriy and Bucky introduce themselves, never actually having spoken before.  It’s a solemn moment when they first stand in front of one another.  It’s a little jarring when Dmitriy speaks Spanish; Bucky had just assumed he’d speak Russian.  When he asks about it, Dmitriy shrugs and says they speak the local languages for everyday.  They’ll stand out less, and there’s something symbolic about choosing to live their new life in a language other than Russian.  

Bucky nods, and mentions that he’s been on missions in this part of Spain and speaks Basque in addition to Spanish.  Dmitriy smiles.  “I thought you might.  You are our brother, after all.”

“I haven’t been much of a brother up to now,” Bucky admits, chagrined.  “But I’m here now.”

“Sergeant, I never had the chance to talk to Marya about you and her.  There was no time.  But I’ve been told enough to appreciate the fact that you mourn her. I understand and, if it makes any sense, I’m thankful that you care that much.”

“I do.  I loved her, Dmitriy.”

“Then we have that in common, along with everything else.”  

Bucky doesn’t quite understand why the hard hug he and Dmitriy share feels so healing, maybe something about knowing that Dmitriy feels Marya’s loss as much as Bucky does.  But he knows from that moment that he wants to make a friend of Dmitriy.

“You can call me Bucky, you know.”  

“No, Sergeant,” Dmitriy says with a grin he doesn’t even try to hide.  “I can’t.”

That gets a belly laugh from Bucky, even though Dmitriy’s resemblance to his sister when he says it hurts like hell.  He supposes he better strap in for a lot of that while he’s here.

 As promised, when Bucky’s been in Spain for two weeks, Steve comes to the Compound for a few days.  Bucky’s part of Dmitriy’s work crew framing the first building of the Troops’ Compound, now that they’ve dug and poured the foundation, so he can’t be there to welcome Steve.   He’s more than a little aware of what time Steve’s arriving, though, and he sees the truck arrive.  

Dmitriy has proven to be every bit the smartass Marya was, and insists that the crew can’t do without Bucky until they get done with the section they’re working on and break for lunch.  His shit-eating grin tells Bucky he’s well aware of the situation, but he refuses to relent. As they work, Bucky keeps expecting to see Steve come walking out of the grove of trees where the Troops are currently housed in a large grouping of yurts, but he doesn’t.  By the time noon arrives, Bucky’s pretty much bordering on blue balls and about ready to give Dmitriy a demonstration of what his left arm can do.  Finally, he hears Dmitriy give a shrill, melodic whistle and jumps, rolling as he lands, from the building’s ridgepole to the ground.  As he strides rapidly toward the yurts, removing his toolbelt as he goes, he hears Dmitriy’s deep laugh follow him.

Steve’s not in Bucky’s small yurt when he tears the door open, but to Bucky’s utter joy, he sees that Steve’s dropped his bag on the end of the bed.  Bucky feels another jolt of arousal as he realizes that means Steve’s staying here.  With him.

As he stalks over toward the biggest yurt, where he thinks Steve must be, Bucky belatedly realizes that he was so anxious to see him that he’s forgotten to put a shirt on or wash up.  He can tell that a lot of his hair’s pulled free of the elastic at the back of his neck, because some of it is in his eyes. But he immediately forgets again when he finds Steve deep in conference with Bruce and Sam, going over blueprints and details of the water system they’re building. Once Bucky sees Steve, he doesn’t see anything else.  He only dimly realizes that Steve’s practically drooling, staring at Bucky’s sweaty, dirty bare chest and flushed face.

They just stare at each other long enough for Sam to roll his eyes and groan disgustedly.  “For fuck’s sake, you guys, I’m gonna get pregnant if you keep lookin’ at each other like that.  Go be alone, and remember yurts have fabric walls.  Damn.”

Bruce blushes and looks down at the table covered with blueprints, drawings, and plans.

Bucky and Steve are in each other’s arms instantly, and they hold one another tightly for so long that, when they let go, they realize that Bruce and Sam have left the yurt without their realizing it.  Their mouths meet hungrily, greedily, and that takes a long time, too.

“I saw your stuff on my bed.  You stayin’ with me?”  When Steve opens his mouth to answer, Bucky says quickly, “And you should know that the only answer I’m gonna accept is yes.”

“Yes,” Steve smiles widely.

It’s hard for Bucky to kiss Steve the way he wants when he’s smiling so much, but he’s also suddenly way too horny to kiss much, anyway, without ending up fucking Steve right here on the floor of Bruce’s office.  

“I made us a picnic,” Bucky says breathlessly.

“Really?  That’s what you wanna do right now?”

“Sam’s right.  Yurts have fabric walls.  And it’s beautiful here.  There’s a hill about a mile away with a clearing.  Sunshine, blanket on the grass… You… Me…”

“Fuck,” Steve gasps.  “Sign me the hell up.”

They practically run to pick up the packed picnic supplies Bucky’s stashed just inside the door of his yurt and get to the clearing.  Steve doesn’t spend much time smoothing out the blanket, just shakes it out in front of him and then pulls Bucky down onto it.  Bucky doesn’t mean to literally tear Steve’s shirt off, but he also doesn’t give it a second thought when it happens.  Feeling Steve’s bare chest against his, the solidity of his muscular body in his arms, the heat and need in his kisses, is like air to Bucky.   He doesn’t know how he’s going to let go long enough to get Steve’s jeans off.

“I love you.  I love you so much, Stevie.”

“I love you, too, Buck.  You’re mine.”

“Yeah.  Fuck, yeah, I’m yours.  Always been yours.”

As it turns out, Steve’s not able to let Bucky go any more than Bucky can let go of Steve.  They end up clasping desperately at one another, mouths open to each other and tongues stroking each other when they remember, grinding painfully hard cocks together until they both come, hissing filthy praise and their love for each other.

“Jeez, Buck, we haven’t done that since we were seventeen.”

“’Bout time, then,” is all Bucky has to say between kisses down Steve’s jawline.

“We’re gonna be a sight walking back into the Compound.”

“There’s a creek,” Bucky mutters, moving lower to take a nipple into his still-greedy mouth.

“Fuck.”

At long last, after months of hot but frustrating make-out sessions and heavy petting, Bucky pulls Steve’s jeans off and takes all of him in for the first time. The sight is enough to make Bucky’s own jeans uncomfortable again, and he quickly peels them off.  Steve’s already hard again, too, and he makes a sound that’s almost a whimper when he sees Bucky reach into the picnic hamper and pull out a bottle of lube.  

“Planned this all along, huh?”

Bucky snorts.  “Sweetheart, I’ve been thinkin’ about fucking you pretty much nonstop for the last two weeks. Damn straight I planned this.”

Steve cries out as Bucky softly touches his hole wit warm, slippery fingers. “I ever tell you how fucking sexy you are?”

Bucky’s smile is almost too happy to be the predatory leer he’s going for.  “Tell me now, while I make all those dirty thoughts come true.”

“I love you,” Steve begins, his words broken and breath hitching as Bucky begins to lick lightly at the head of his cock.  “You’re so gorgeous.  I saw you in Bruce’s yurt just now and I just about lost it right there- oh, shit, Bucky! Fuck, your mouth is a lethal weapon…”

Bucky chuckles and begins a slow but definite rhythm, sliding his finger in and out of Steve while he continues teasing him with his tongue.  Steve’s moving his pelvis, letting Bucky know how fast to go.  “So fuckin’ good,” Bucky murmurs, sliding another finger into Steve as he relents and takes Steve’s cock into his mouth.

Steve’s shout of pleasure is a definite reason to be a mile away from the closest other people.  

“Oh, fuck, Bucky…  You feel so good.  I’ve wanted you for so long.  I…  Oh…”

“You gonna come, Sweetheart?  Yeah, come for me.  Oh, I would love that…”

Bucky barely gets the words out before Steve’s fucking into his mouth and screaming – there’s no other word for the sound he’s making – as he shoots down Bucky’s throat.  Bucky could easily come from watching that, just rubbing against the blanket on the soft grass, but he wants to be inside Steve when he comes next.  

By the time Steve’s starting to relax a little, Bucky’s got him fully ready and, although he just came, Steve’s still hard.  Gotta love that serum.  

“Fuck me, Buck.  Please, Baby, I need to feel you – us together – it’s been so fucking long…”

Bucky feels like he’s been waiting for this moment forever, and when he raises up on his knees, lifting Steve’s thighs to give himself a little more room, it feels like here, pushing his cock gently into Steve is the place he’s always supposed to have been.  He’s surprised to feel tears burn at the back of his eyes.  Despite the awkward stretch it takes, he leans over and kisses Steve’s lips, buried completely in the man he loves.

“Stevie…”

“Ungh...”

“I’m yours.  Always.”

“Mine.”

“Yours.  And you’re mine.”

He has to grit his teeth a little, but he wants to enjoy this moment, stroke after stroke, for as long as he can.  The sun is warm on his back, and there’s a sweet smell of green in the air, and Steve looks absolutely perfect lying beneath him, eyes boring into his, glowing with exertion and pleasure.  When he comes, Bucky doesn’t shout.  He whispers, breathing hard, “I love you, Steve.  I love you.  I’m yours. I’m yours…”

It’s dusk before they wander back into the Compound, holding hands and smiling quietly.  When they enter Bucky’s yurt, they see that someone has laid out supper for them on the table. Bucky knows they’re welcome at the communal evening meal, which makes this gift all the more thoughtful, especially because there’s nothing Bucky and Steve want more right now than to be alone together.  They can hear voices outside, and see the warm, flickering light of a few campfires, but it’s just a comforting backdrop for the small, blissed-out world inside the yurt where only the two of them exist.

 One of the reasons Steve’s at the Compound is that they are going to finish the mop-up of their destruction of Hydra.  On the day they’d taken the bunker, the team had purposely allowed Hydra the opportunity to call for help, to see who would answer.  Sam and Tony had destroyed the three helicopters that responded and, with support from Natasha, the Troops had traced them to a group The Avengers hadn’t known existed.  The Troops learned all they could about them.  It was as bad as they’d feared, and not something they could allow to grow.  

With the Troops, Steve and Bucky spend a few days destroying the group and its facility.  Bucky sees what Steve meant when they’d discussed this earlier.  The Troops are far too dangerous and naïve to be abandoned to their own devices, and they’re invaluable allies.  Besides caring deeply what happens to them, Bucky sees the wisdom of making sure their little community succeeds, and that The Avengers are the foundation for that success.

It’s an opportunity for Bucky to bond further with Dmitriy, and for Steve to get to know him.  Sitting around a fire back at the Compound the night they return from the raid, the three get as drunk as supersoldiers can, mild and temporary as alcohol’s affects on them are. They speak English, because the U.S. Army has never had Hydra’s focus on languages.  Steve could learn them ridiculously easily, as they all can, but he hasn’t bothered much.  They talk about a lot of things, enjoying each other’s company and making informal plans for the future.  

“I gotta ask, Dmitriy, about that scar on your face,” Steve says, slurring his words just a little.  “How’s someone who got the serum develop a scar?  I never do.  Bucky doesn’t.”

“We don’t, either,” Dmitriy answers.  “I think I must have had this before the serum.  I don’t ever remember not having it.”

Bucky asks, “Are you guys gonna work on that?  Your memories, I mean?  Bruce has some theories.”  

“We already are.  More with Sam than Bruce, though.  Nobody’s very comfortable with the idea of doctors, period, and we’ve had about enough of people playing with our minds.”

“Amen to that, Brother,” Bucky mutters, and downs the rest of the vodka he’s drinking.

“We’re more focused on the future.  As you know, we don’t really know what the serum does long-term.  We want to build a life here, which means we need to know some basics about what we can expect.  Our life spans, whether we could ever have children, those kinds of things. That’s what Bruce is working on, when he’s not designing septic systems.”

They enjoy a quiet laugh about that.

“And you two?  It’s not much of a secret that you’re having some sort of reunion, and it’s definitely not a secret what kind.”  Dmitriy smirks.  “What’s in your future?”

Steve looks at Bucky like he’s pretty much perfect and Bucky finds himself expecting a twinge of pain and shame that doesn’t come.  

“Whatever it is,” he says, squeezing Steve’s hand and looking into his too-blue eyes, “It’ll be together.”

[gisapot]

In defense of Dionysus (written 12-03-2017, posted 12-03-2019.)

It is officially the anniversary of the last creative nonfiction piece I wrote. 

I did not realize it has been two years since I wrote this piece, the piece that I consider my magnum opus; two years since my grandfather had passed.

Posting this today of all days was not intentional. I did not intend to post this here because I had bigger plans for this piece; a greater exposure than this tiny blog only my friends and students know and avidly read (not that I am ungrateful for your support). I wanted to see this in print.

I wanted to submit this to Katitikan for its ‘places and spaces’ issue, but to submit this means to remove a thousand words from this five-thousand-word monster, and removing a thousand words is an insult to the integrity of the story I want to tell. To remove a thousand words is to break the legacy of my grandfather.

Another reason why I wanted to post this is to address a comment my mother had received on a photo she posted on her Facebook of her and my grandfather. I do not know if that was their last photo together. She shared the post to share to her world that it is the second anniversary of her father’s death, and someone said, “maayo gyod an badlungon kay ma mis gyod sa tanan!” 

Instead of posting a position paper in defense of my grandfather and his merits, looking only one-sided and biased towards the man who raised me, I want to show you this piece, in its entirety, in my grandfather’s entirety. 

Who really was Antonio Gulane? 

Dear Grandpa: A Story of The Kulafu Warrior.

Dear Grandpa, today is the third of December, twenty-seventeen. I am in the new house, the one you begged my mother to buy for you before you passed: the one-story house made of cement and stone. It has barely been a month since we got the house when you decided to christen it with your quiet passing, bringing in faces old that I’ve never seen in years, and new ones my mother insists I’ve met longer than my brain can recall.

Dear Grandpa, this asphalt house is the first permanent one we have had in a long time. How many houses have we lived in? I don’t know the number, but I know each and every one of them, complete with tiny slivers of memories that are distinctly of you, Grandma, your white chino shirts with her tie dye skirts and half-slips. I remember your loud insistent shouts and your ribs protruding through your thin brown skin as you sit at midnight half-naked, inhaling the smell of Mighty Red, Marlboro, or some lumboy leaves you roll on your own. The smell of it mixed with Kulafu has permeated every household we occupy, radiating out of your rotting yellow teeth as soon as the clock strikes one in the afternoon. Textbooks always told me these were signs of a broken home life, a dysfunctional family. To me, it became a sign that told me that I was home, no matter where I was.

I.                   Basement

I remember very little about the basement, but I do have pictures of it developed like pictures used to in those times Kodak and Konika were the epitome of photography technology, Richard Gomez’ face on the packs of the finished images. There were blue green walls, and it was constantly dark down there because there no natural light came in. The wooden jalousies were sealed shut and dusty, not really helping our cause. Our TV was a small black box always tuned in to ABS-CBN, and one picture showed it frozen on an old Colgate commercial along with my memory of my first Christmas. You were there with Grandma, candid shots of you making me laugh so that I would smile for the camera. I was a chubby child with skin as pink as the girls endorsing Pond’s for a healthy pink glow, a vast contrast to your dark lumad skin, even more elaborated by the harsh automatic flash of the film camera. Grandma always shied away from the light of it with a bashful grin that took on not only her face but in the lift of her shoulders, carrying me up to cover her face. You, however, were not afraid to show your grimace to a device that immortalized your state: displeased that your photo was taken, but not mad enough to be violent.

           I am thankful these photos exist to give me a sight of my childhood that I remembered better through scents. I remember nothing, no experiences and no objects, but I do remember the smell of a very big pink bottle of Johnson’s baby powder, your alcohol, Tatay’s aircon-scented laundry, pungent socks, and your cigarettes.

II.                Village

There is always this notion that when the word ‘village’ is present in the address you write on forms, you were someone with money and stability enough to live in a place that had security guards stationed at every entrance. We were renting this house, and I do not remember what it looks like nor do I have the pictures to actually believe that we lived here. There must be a gap in my memory, but I forgave myself long ago for not remembering anything. But I do hear stories from you and Grandma about my childhood: I liked Uncle Dennis’ Lucky Me mami noodles – the one in the blue packet (is it still in production anymore?) – because it smelled like gas. I didn’t eat it, I just smelled the smoke coming out of it. Every afternoon at five, Uncle Dennis and Grandma would take me for a walk to ‘get some Fita’, which was a codeword for fetching Nanay from the corner. You recalled that I never went with them if there was no Fita involved, so my mother resolved to buy Fita before she got to the corner leading to our house so I would greet her by sunset.

It was a quaint village but we had to move away for reasons I still cannot understand to this day, but know well enough that what happened made my mother lose the face to show to her in-laws. Just because she was a tiger does not mean she held the power; her in-laws were kings of the jungle. Grandma maintains we were nothing at the time. We had no one to our defence. We were ants next to them in the grand scheme of things, we could not talk back when the perpetrators had money and we did not, ruling the gated compound as they did. I never believed you to be one to run away from a fight. It did not seem like you or Nanay to be quiet or behaved when mouths start running the way they did towards us, but you just let it happen like it did. We moved houses before I could remember anything constructive of it, or take any pictures to remember it by.

III.             Pardo

There is something in Pardo that always drew me in. It seemed like a place that was alive, crowds of people coming in with the setting and rising of the sun every day, judging by the plethora of jeepneys that headed that way. I know that because of my constant commute to school, a small Montessori school, girls in bright red uniforms and at least one boy per batch in grey t-shirts. Other than that, I remember nothing that had to do with what was outside the house except the potted plants lined up by the patio that you sat next to, where you were supposed to be smoking your afternoon away. But you were not there, not at the house, not in any of the pictures. I never saw you in that year. I think you hated the place, or the stampede that came with it, or something else. All I know is that you were never there. Your sister stayed with us instead, a skinny woman with short hair who took orders for empanada from Nanay’s friends. I don’t remember you, but that does not mean I have no recollection of whether or not you were there. It means that I know for sure that you were not there, so I had nothing substantial to remember you of, unless it was Christmas.

I remember you distinctly during our only Christmas in that house, hiding in the darkness of the alley behind the back door where a big blue tank stood. You crouched there, smoking while Nanay and Tatay took pictures of me posing in front of the Noche Buena. I have a picture of that moment, smiling cutely while Grandma stood with her back turned away from the camera facing the door that led to the blackness. I remember she was scolding you in harsh whispers to turn the flame of your cigarette off and come inside to join the festivities, to not be a Grinch on Christmas. Once the photo was taken I got down from the chair I used as a stool, towering adults walking past me – both uncles, Nanay’s younger brothers – who tried talking you out of sitting outside. If you did not feel like socializing, there was always a TV. Your indifference towards Christmas was evident.

           The concept of time is longer the younger you are. I look up at the clock as they plead you to come inside and eat some bread or ham, or an apple, whatever; it was eleven in the evening. You finally got up at three minutes later, but it felt like three hours. I wonder how that is so. When you walked past me, I wanted to ask – something, nothing, I don’t remember what I wanted to ask from you. But you just moved me aside and did not give me attention, and you sat on the sofa and I just stared, and I brushed it off. You were offered alcohol, and you asked for a bottle of Kulafu. I did not move. The moment I write this is when I remember that was the first out of two times where you did not make time for me. You always did.

 IV.             Sugar Apple

Since I was a child I always amused myself with the thought that Tisa backwards was ‘atis’. Of course, now that I am older I have come to realize that this is not true. But it also entertained me that this presupposition of mine was proved true with the sugar apples growing by the barbed wire fence right outside our house that closed the compound in. We were renting a bigger house this time, in a compound of three houses owned by a nice drummer amputee named Tony. I remember the whole town calling him Tony Kimpay like it was his full name. The house had light blue walls and a smooth ground floor that required a whole box and three-quarters of red Starwax and two coconut husks to shine. There was a second floor (a second floor! Only rich people had second floors, thought three-year-old me) where the floors were made of wood, and it was in this house where I learned that you never slept at night.

You sat outside from ten at night until six in the morning with a box of cigarettes, a mug of Nescafe coffee and three bottles of Kulafu, guarding the house in lieu of a dog or a security guard. You would entertain yourself with the ducks Tony owned, chasing them away once they started quacking at four in the morning along with the crowing of the chickens. It was from you where I learned to not fear ducks. And when Nanay’s cousin Dinah came to live with us while she went to college and told me to stay away from ducks because they bite, I did not believe her. They always run away from me because you taught me that I was bigger and more terrifying than any bird.

Sometimes you plucked the sugar apples and cut them in half to share with the family, but I never ate them. Instead, I was interested in the eba that grew next to it, eating it raw and with no salt to neutralize the taste. I loved how sour it was. I have pictures of me giving eba to my cousins who visited the house. Behind the camera, you turn your nose up away from the eba, because you did not like that I like them and preferred that I ate sugar apples instead because at least that is a fruit that made sense.

My first brother was born by then, and I did not remember an instance where you touched him. By then, people from the neighbourhood or Nanay’s friends from work came by to visit and coo at him. I would get jealous and insecure, because there is a baby stealing my mother’s attention, like all three-year-olds would feel when they have a new sibling. Because of the afternoon crowd on the second floor of the house, you woke up from your afternoon nap and went outside for a smoke to calm down to avoid snapping at someone. I followed you outside because I hated how Nanay did not give me any attention, all given to that stupid baby. An adult grabbed me, I don’t remember who it was but I know I insisted on going with you. You took a seat on a plastic stool Grandma uses for the laundry, and told me to go back inside once you lit the cigarette stick. I obey. I walked towards the door when I accidentally kick over last night’s Kulafu bottles. I turned around to pick them up, but you told me to leave it and go inside in that annoyed tone you spoke in when everything is not in order. Despite that, you crouched down and picked the bottles up without further complaint. Irritation was a trademark on you, a trademark I have come to not just learn, but to inherit.

 V.                Parrots

From the house with the ducks and the star apples and eba, we moved to a white house with a gate. It was not that far from the previous house, it was on a hill right behind it. The house was white, the inside also white except for the master bedroom which was decorated with faded yellow wallpaper. A few months after we moved there, Tatay bought me a pair of birds – a boy and a girl – for no reason at all. He just thought it would be nice to have a pet. They were yellow-green birds and I thought they were parrots and insisted that they speak after me. Under the cage of the birds was a wooden stand for your own rooster. It was then I learned that you liked cock fights, you bet on it and joined it even with the constant reports on the radio that these betting games were illegal because it went against animal rights or some random reason I thought of as a child that would rationalize the world.

I still do not know if the birds Tatay got me were parrots or not, but it is an appropriate analogy for you and K: at the age of three with a head as big as a basketball, he admired you for everything you did to the point that he copied your every move, especially your skill in many types of martial arts. Now as I am older and I look back, I think of the credibility of your claim, if you were really an expert as you said you were. But at the impressionable ages of seven and three, we believed you to be the Filipino Bruce Lee as you introduced yourself to be. You taught K how to use nunchucks and a bit of arnis with a stick you conjured out of nowhere, and I wish I had pictures to prove that you really did teach him and he learned well from  you, but all I have are pictures of K alone carrying his nunchucks obsessively everywhere he went. He threw a fit every time he was told that he could not bring them to social events or inside malls because it was ‘unfair’ and he really wanted to show off what he knew.

He was so much like you. He copied almost everything you were. You two were so alike in the shortness of fuse and how you both wanted everything to go your way or you would have to resort to violence. K would wrestle anyone who said no.

Despite the contrast – K a pale milky white while you were a reddish brown like Kulafu – you taught him to be like you and he had grown so attached to his childhood hero that it no longer looked adorable to me as the older sister, but scary. This turned terrified the moment you took an afternoon nap and started kicking in the air like you were fighting someone, asking if your enemy in your dream was going to fight back. K thought you were so cool.

Nanay always tells me that she understands because she is always at work that K was imprinted by you and grandma instead of her and Tatay as the actual parents, but I could not understand what she meant. It just did not reflect the families on textbooks, where the children were close to their parents and their grandparents lived in a separate house. How close he became with you and Grandma was beyond me. He insisted to sleep on your bed, eat out of Grandma’s hands, and sang the lyrics you whispered in his ear before he ever learned how to read. There was no doubt in his mind that you were invincible, and you were the best example.

 VI.             Dog

We lived a year in that white house. Half of that year I dazedly spent in hospitals because of a severe case of dengue. That year was a bad year for us, it was some sort of bad omen. Nanay decided to move us to Mandaue, a whole city over, because it was safer there from mosquitoes and it was closer to her workplace. Other than that, Tatay was an architect for a new private elementary school that was just erected there, and he decided to send Yelcin and I there. It was in a big compound owned by a chubby old man with droopy skin that made him look like a wrinkly dog. He looked even worse with his constant frown. You did not like him. You liked his sons instead because they drank with you Kulafu with you at two in the afternoon to stay awake instead of being so uppity like their father.

We got a dog too, a female golden retriever we aptly named Goldie. You did not like her at first because she was a non-human creature that came into the house and chased after me because she liked me. You got very angry with her because she wormed her way to the bedroom I shared with Nanay and Tatay, but then insisted she sleep at the foot of my bed to watch over me, and suddenly I see you sneak out chicken leftovers from my breakfast to her dog bowl in the morning. That is when I knew you started to like her.

You sat outside with her in the afternoons. With that you brought some noise, you talked to her and told her to behave and you would give her a dog biscuit shaped like a bone whenever you got bored. You were not quiet anymore. You would bathe her religiously on Saturday mornings before I woke up, and fed her strange things for her meals like fish and some malunggay leaves. She ate them gratefully, like it was not dangerous for her poor dog stomach to eat such things.

You did everything for Goldie. You treated her like your own child, spoiled her with all the dog treats in the world and reprimanded my mother if she did not bring home any more treats for the dog when you ran out. You built her a cage made of metal grills and spare raw coco lumber that you demanded  Tatay to bring from his site visits in Catmon, the plastic flooring for the only thing authentically pet-shop about that cage. You made Dennis buy some metal roofing  from the construction supply shop around right outside the corner of the street, and you built her a home with your bare hands. When it was done, you put Goldie inside, locked it, and hid in your bedroom with Grandma without a word and took a happy nap.

 VII.          Protection

We had a house. It was in Opon, it was bound to PAG-IBIG housing loans, but we had a house. It was in a middle-class subdivision whose houses all looked the same, so our minimalist white and brown and green house with a terrace and an outdoor garden with Bermuda grass stood out. We had our own rooms, mine was pink and V’s was blue with a bunk bed since Nanay was pregnant with her third child and we were preparing for him. Nanay and Tatay’s room was a bright yellow with brown furniture. And yet you refused to see us sleep in our own rooms, us kids having to sleep in our parents’ room, on the floor with some mattresses, so that we do not get too hot in our own rooms. It was apparently better in the air-conditioned room, and it was so you could keep an eye on us all together.

We had a car too. It was a secondhand blue Nissan Terrano with a spare wheel on the back that we bought from your cousin who married into a rich family. We did not use the car much, but you took it out for spins around the subdivision so that it would not ‘gather dust’. I still do not know if that really is a valid concern for cars.

Your habits did not change: you still sat outside the house at midnight with your coffee and Kulafu and cigarettes, except now people stop in front of the house to take pictures, and you ‘shoo’ them away to keep them from plagiarizing my father’s work. (I will find in later years that they still succeeded in copying my father, what with subdivisions being erected that now use the same color scheme and the same layout and plan. It irritates the both of us. Whatever happened to intellectual property rights?)

           You hated the location, however. You hated that it was an entire city away from where we went to school and we did not get enough sleep. We passed out in the car the moment we get inside, to catch up on some sleep, wake up dazed and lost in school, then come home tired and lethargic to do any of our homework anymore because of how tired we were. We were practically in hell.

           Location was always the problem, wasn’t it? We just moved to the new home that was finally ours when it struck: Nanay was laid off of her job and had nowhere to go. With piling debts and deteriorating health and a baby who had more needs than her grown children, Nanay decided to work overseas.

           You were so violently against it. You were so mad. You did not want the family to be separated. Everyone should stay in one home, together, no matter the circumstance. It was all or nothing for you. But Nanay had already made up her mind, bought a ticket out, found a job that was waiting for her, all that was left was to leave for it. You did not look her in the eye that day she left, staying outside right in front of the car, like you were a boulder that could stop it from moving.

VIII.        Following

I remember very distinctly the moment K cried at the airport as we left Singapore after our first Christmas there. He was crying terribly hard, hating the fact that the family he grew up in, his own universe of discourse, was pulled apart into two different fabrics of time and space. It was difficult to be together now. He rolled on the floor of the then-existing budget terminal of Changi Airport, causing a scene, asking why we could not stay with her and be a happy family like those families in textbooks. He wanted to be with Nanay, with Tatay, but also with you and with Grandma and Uncle Dennis and Uncle Julius and their wives Elsa and Janice respectively, both parents and parental figures. K used to be the type that got so attached.  I cannot say the same for now, however.

When Nanay said she was working on our immigration to follow her to Singapore, K was excited. You, however, did not say anything. I think you have learned from when Nanay left the country, but you made us promise to call you by Skype every day while we waited to start schooling there. You could not bear to part from us, you and Grandma, but when was the best time to leave the nest, to be honest? And we belonged with our actual parents.

And every day like clockwork since we left, we called you through video call, your brown skin a bright white like the shirts on Tide commercials, asking how we are and what we are doing, same as yesterday. The call sits for two hours as we watch you nap on the wooden floor of the rest house, and when the computer overheats, you tell Dennis to shut it off and you slither away on the floor to your room, not showing that you are crying because of how you miss us. But it is okay, I know you console yourself, because Janice is pregnant, and you are sure this kid is not a kid you will let go.

When we left the country, you had no reason to stay in Cebu anymore, so you loudly declared to the entire family that you were all going back to Medellin where they grew up and where you raised them. There was a rest house there that Tatay constructed for us; somewhere we can sleep in whenever we visited Medellin for the weekend. It was a hut, brown with nipa leaves weaved together for the roof. Everything was made of wood except for the foundations and the bathroom, the cement wall painted green on the outside. Inside was tiled and decorated with seashells Tatay paid your nephew to collect from the beach behind the house. You spent your days there lying on the ground like a dog, never breaking your afternoon-nap-and-Kulafu-at-Midnight ritual like always. Sometimes you got bored and killed flies, made your own barbecue, and even built an extended hut for Grandma that you used as a convenience store. You would participate in secret games of masiao that another one of your nephews is a runner for, you and Grandma arguing about the how she calculated her own numbers and why yours is different, until the tumor in your stomach you kept joking about started hurting too much for you to laugh about it anymore.

 Dear Grandpa, throughout these homes we have come into, you repeatedly made me promise throughout my childhood to build you a concrete house that you can call your own. You called our constant moving a hassle and the hut that my father made for you not sturdy to withstand storms. You told me you were tired of the city, and asked me to build you a house in your hometown of Medellin, as big as I want, as long as it was strong and brave and could shelter you from the heavy storms.

Dear Grandpa, we have a home now. It is a bright yellow house in a subdivision a little ways away from the park that displayed an old train from Central that used to carry the sugar cane. The time is one-forty in the afternoon; I am sitting in front of your white coffin with a towel in my hair, and if I move to tilt my head rightwards I can see the bottle of Kulafu I bought for you as an offering. I am alone, save for the people passing by to get food, more ice cream, beer, or arguing about the wi-fi connection. Your Photoshopped portrait sits on top of your viewing glass, staring at the flurry of movement with your intense judging glare and thick eyebrows. You look angry in the photo, but Uncle Dennis says you were about to laugh as the photo was taken, and if I stared hard enough, I can almost see the moment that you do.

Dear Grandpa, you were powerful and strong-willed and loud for all the right reasons. You were never weak, and you never allowed people to spread nonsense about our family. I pretend not to know that the reason for your loss is not deterioration, but a dangerous formation. I pretend not to know that your every day habits are the cause of your passing. I pretend that you’ve never participated in vices in your life; it is in the Filipino culture, Nanay says, that once someone passes, he is an angel.

Dear Grandpa, I miss you very dearly. As I write this I keep erasing words and adding some more, getting distracted by the noise from the children and doors opening and San Miguel bottles tinkling against each other. This is the sound of our family, even as the shape of our living arrangement changes like the sky when it nears a storm. Dear Grandpa, in the years I have grown under your care we did not have a house whose deed was truly ours, but you have shown me the meaning of home and helped me remember it as my own now, as part of who we are: we are fighters, the heat of your Kulafu blood flowing through our veins – we are warriors.

Dear Grandpa, we might be so far away from each other, even further now that you have passed, but as I grow older and help Nanay and Tatay finish this house in your name, I will remember the way we have come, and how much further I have to go. In front of your coffin, I bow my head to mourn, but my blood boils hot under my skin – I will stand like you on this ground and do what I can, defending your name.

And if I can help it, Dear Grandpa, we will not move again any time soon.

[daresplaining]

Blindspot: Empowering Invisibility

    I’ve been writing posts reflecting back on my favorite parts of Charles Soule’s Daredevil run... and hey, I almost got through all of them before the new run started! The final topic I wanted to cover is Sam Chung/Blindspot, who-- alongside Real Boy Mike Murdock-- is the most significant new character Soule created during his time on the comic.

    Sam has come a long way for a guy everyone thought was Gambit when his image was first released. With his introduction, he became Matt’s first official, long-term “apprentice” and a compelling addition to the ranks of Marvel’s young, up-and-coming superheroes. I’d always wanted to see how Matt would handle a sidekick, so I was very excited about this, and while I think Sam’s story was not as strong as it could have been, I am eager for him to return to further cement his role within the Daredevil universe and beyond.

    Matt has acted as a mentor in the past (most notably to Angela Del Toro, the second White Tiger, during Bendis’s run), but Sam is the closest he has ever come to having an actual sidekick. Thus, his new working relationship with Sam puts him in a fun new role: passing on what he has learned as a superhero, and testing his abilities as a teacher. 

Sam: “Whoa, hold on now... what are you--”

Matt: “And suddenly, everyone can see you. What do you do now, Blindspot? You need to be the weapon-- not some gadget.”

Sam: “I dunno. Iron Man seems to do okay.”

Matt: “You could drop Tony Stark naked in the middle of the desert and he’d fly out in a jet made of sand and cactus needles. It’s not his stuff that gives him power. It’s his brain. Try using yours. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #2 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    Soule’s run, overall, suffers from a lack of emotion. It is all plot, no character, and this weakens the development of Matt and Sam’s relationship. Beyond a touching glimpse of their initial first encounter in All-New, All-Different Point One (Sam’s introductory issue), we don’t get to see much of their developing dynamic. The run jumps right in after they have already started working together, and that’s mostly the context in which we see them-- work. We don’t get any real bonding scenes. We don’t get to see Matt decide to train Sam (which must have been a huge decision-- Matt would have been hesitant to take on that responsibility, especially since he’d just tightened up his secret identity again) or the early negotiating of their relationship. Sam later comes to see Matt as a father figure, which should be very powerful, but the only way we know that is because he comes out and says it, because of the shortage of actual parent/child-type moments between them. 

    That said, there is a lot to enjoy in their dynamic. Matt and Sam are very similar people, and this makes them great foils for each other. Like Matt, Sam is stubborn, smart, and often reckless. He has an attitude, as well as a huge amount of compassion and a desire to help others. He also has a lot of secrets (neither knows the other’s civilian identity for a significant amount of time, which contributes to the emotional distance mentioned above, but is also completely in-character.)  And Sam and Matt work well as a team and develop a lot of respect for each other. Matt is a tough but fair teacher, and he sees himself in Sam.  

Sam: “Well, I finally got the cast off my arm.”

Matt (caption): “Right. The cast for the arm Elektra broke when I introduced her to you in a fit of utter idiocy.”

Sam: “Thought I might get a workout in. It’s been a while.”

Matt (caption): “A workout. He means he’s going out on patrol as Blindspot. I get it. The hero game’s addictive. It’s hard to stay away for too long. God knows I’ve rushed back out before I was ready a hundred times. [...] He’s not listening to a word I say. Then again, when I was in his place, training with Stick... I didn’t listen much either. I heard... everything. But I didn’t like to listen. Oh, well.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #10 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    The similarities don’t end there. Like Matt, Sam grew up in a low-income single-parent household, and has close ties to a particular Manhattan neighborhood (in his case, Chinatown). But his situation is made even more challenging by the fact that he is an undocumented immigrant, and this distinction between Matt’s experience and Sam’s is actually really interesting. Matt fully sympathizes with Sam, but there is a disconnect that highlights the additional challenges in Sam’s life that impact his budding superhero career. 

Matt: “Wait. I didn’t realize... you’re hurt.”

Sam: “Yeah. One of them got me. Stings like hell.”

Matt: “You need to go to the hospital.”

Sam: “Sure thing. You remember when I told you I don’t have papers, which means I can’t get a real job, which means I can’t get insurance? So, you got a spare twenty grand you can loan me for an E.R. visit, I’ll head right over. Otherwise, it’s band-aids and Advil.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #3 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla 

Sam: “I’ve been working on this suit since I was twelve. It was supposed to be my big break. My ticket out. Until I found out how expensive it was to file a patent. How easy it is to steal inventions from illegal immigrants doing their best to stay off the radar so they don’t get deported. I invented a miracle-- a damn invisibility suit-- and now I have to spend half my pay on batteries just to keep the thing running. How the hell do the other guys do it?”

All-New, All-Different Marvel Point One, “Blindspot” by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    This is what makes Sam extra compelling and unique among the ranks of Marvel’s heroes. As an undocumented immigrant, he is in constant danger. Drawing attention to himself is really risky, because if something goes wrong and the police find out who he is, he could lose everything. The precariousness of his life makes his actions as a superhero, his willingness to put himself into the spotlight and take those risks, all the more admirable. It’s also symbolic that the invention that prompted him to become a superhero is an invisibility suit, because invisibility is a key part of his life. As a non-citizen, he feels like an outsider-- unseen, insignificant. But that invisibility is also a source of protection. The idea of someone in Sam’s position actually weaponizing invisibility, while at the same time making himself visible by became a superhero-- who, by their very nature, are public figures-- is a powerful concept. And of course, there’s symbolism in the fact that Sam is working alongside Matt-- one of the few people who can perceive him while he is invisible. 

    Over the course of the run, we see Sam start to build himself a reputation by becoming a benevolent presence to the people of Chinatown. By working with Matt, he gains the confidence to operate on his own-- which is helped by the fact that Sam is an independent person by both nature and necessity (much like Matt). I love the detail of the shrine in Chinatown where people leave requests for help from Blindspot (“Ghost Brother”). It’s a neat way of depicting Sam’s connection to his neighborhood and his own unique approach to hero work.

Sam: “Okay, let’s see what we got. Wealth, long life, luck... can’t do much about those...”

Daredevil vol. 5 #10 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    Over the course of the run, we see Sam grapple with many of the key questions of superheroing. Sam, like Matt and many other heroes, started down this path to thanks to his family-- in Sam’s case, to protect his mother and sister. And like all of these heroes, he is compelled to continue out of a sense of compassion. Sam’s struggle to decide whether it is worthwhile or smart to behave selflessly, to put his life on the line for strangers, is addressed with a sense of emotional honesty that makes Sam extra relatable. It’s easy to claim to be heroic, but it’s another thing entirely to put yourself out there and actually behave heroically, and to take on the responsibility of ensuring other people’s survival. 

Sam: “Why did I say that? ‘I’m not letting him kill anyone else.’ Who do I think I am? I just want to impress Daredevil. It sounded like something he would say. Do I really mean it? How far will I actually take this? This guy’s a judge. If he found out I was a vigilante, he’d probably deport me. Why should I die for him? Hell, why should I even fight for him?"

Daredevil vol. 5 #13 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

Man: “How do you know that? Tenfingers said he would save us, and he lied.”

Sam: “Because... I... Because I am one of you. I live in this neighborhood. I know most of you. Your name is Mr. Chen, and you run the bodega on Mott Street. Because Chinatown is my home, and I’m going to keep it safe. Because I am Blindspot. And I am not lying to you. Just... just stay in here. I won’t let anything happen to you. I hope.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #5 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    Sam’s story is enhanced by the fact that his origin is so challenging. While he is enthusiastic about working with Daredevil and the idea of being a superhero, he quickly acquires a degree of cynicism thanks to the difficulty of his situation. He became a superhero to save his mother, who doesn’t want to be saved. He is filled with doubt about his own abilities. Every time he does something heroic, he suffers for it: he is blinded after trying to rescue Muse’s victims, his mother is killed when he decides to save Matt from the Beast, and his refusal to kill Muse causes the Hand to attack New York City. He is given reason after reason to give it all up, and for a while he seriously considers it. But in the end, he doesn’t. 

Sam: “It’s getting harder for me to tell the difference between something right and something wrong. When you work on this level, trying to be a super hero, life and death... there’s all these consequences. Things just happen. I’m trying to do things I know are right when I can. That’s all I can do. Muse is back. Maybe you saw those paintings he put up all over the city. I’m going to find him, and make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else. I know that’s right. I know it. [...] You’re a good person. Don’t let this city take that away from you.”

Hannah: “Why are you talking like you’ll never see me again, Sam?”

Daredevil vol. 5 #599 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    Sam’s journey is informed by the three main antagonists he encounters over the course of this run. One is Muse, who I consider to be the first member of Blindspot’s rogues gallery rather than an addition to Daredevil’s (how cool is that?!), one is the Punisher (who he encounters in DD/Punisher: Seventh Circle), and one is Tenfingers-- and by extension, the Hand. All of these challenge Sam’s superhero aspirations and force him to decide what kind of hero he wants to be. I loved Muse and Sam’s dynamic, and found the Hand a bit less compelling. (I really like the Hand, and they can be used well, but they lacked depth in this run.) But they are significant in shaping Sam’s character development, and they also tie into arguably the biggest theme of his origin story: family. 

    Sam wants to take Tenfingers down to save Chinatown-- but more than that, to save his mother. When he is blinded and grows disillusioned with hero work, his mother calls on the Hand to heal him and train him. Sam’s blinding is another weak area of his story. I would have found it more compelling if he had remained blind (this is Daredevil, after all!) rather than being magically healed right away. While having the Beast restore his eyes causes big problems down the road, it still feels like a side-step away from what could have been a much more interesting twist in Sam’s story. I was at least expecting the eyes themselves to cause him problems, since they’re obviously not normal eyes, but they never did. That whole story arc felt underdeveloped, which was disappointing. However! What really matters is that Sam’s time with the Hand challenges him in character-defining ways. They train him and turn him cynical about traditional superhero morality. His mother pays for the Hand’s help by promising her soul to the Beast, and to save her, Sam settles on a morally grey solution: trading her soul for Matt’s.  

Lu Wei: “You are thinking foolish thoughts. I can see them in your eyes. The eyes Daredevil took from you. The eyes I sold my very soul to give you back.”

Sam: “You really want us to just go? To forget every evil thing we did here... and maybe, if we want something bad enough, do it again? Moving through life like sharks, preying on anyone useful? No, Mother. I reject that.”

Lu Wei: “You reject me? I have given you everything, Samuel! My life for you! Every choice I’ve ever made.”

Sam: “I know that, and I love you for it. I always will. It’s like you said... only one thing matters. Family.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #28 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    Once again, this plot point is weakened by the lack of emotion in this run. We know that Sam’s relationship with his mother is complicated. She is a good person who has become ruthless as a way of protecting herself and her family from all of the difficulties in their life. Sam clearly loves her. But we don’t see enough of this relationship (or, for that matter, Sam’s relationship with his sister Hannah) to make this story as powerful as it should be. Sam is forced to choose between trading Matt for his mother or trying to save both, and despite his new cynicism and all of the pressures in his life-- from both his mother and the Hand-- to become a killer, Sam makes a heroic-yet-futile choice and tries to save both of them. This results in his mother’s death which, in spite of the lack of development mentioned above, is still one of the most powerful moments in the whole run. 

Daredevil vol. 5 #28 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    This serves as a turning point for Sam that carries over into the rest of the run. Despite everything he has been through and all he has lost, he decides that he still wants to be a compassionate person.

Beast: “You have taken our gifts, Samuel... now, you must repay us. One death. A small thing. Think of how many lives Muse’s death with save. This is a small thing we ask.”

Sam: “No... no...”

Beast: “You want this. You know he will kill you if you do not kill him. You do not want to trade your life for his. Reject us, and we will come for you. You cannot use our power and not expect to pay.”

Sam: “No. I do reject you. I reject death.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #600 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    While Sam fades out of the story toward the end of the run (he didn’t get to meet Mike!) he plays a major part in battling the Hand when they attack New York. This restores his partnership with Matt, allows him to bring his animosity with both the Hand and Muse to a conclusion, and cements his image in the minds of the citizens of New York. Blindspot officially joins the ranks of Marvel’s superhero community, which-- for an undocumented immigrant who has grown  up feeling displaced and unwanted-- means a lot.

Karnik: “Hey! Beast! My name is Nalini Karnik. I am the Police Commissioner of New York. I serve and protect every last one of its citizens. That includes Sam Chung. He is one of us. You want him... come get him.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #605 by Charles Soule, Mike Henderson, and Matt Milla

    This is hopefully only the beginning of Sam’s story, and I look forward to seeing him again-- both in future Daredevil runs, and ideally also within the wider Marvel universe. 

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (4)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Episode 4: It was a ...day

Warnings: …none. (You’ll find some Brooklyn99 references in here. Soooo yeah)

Word Count: It’s all fun and games till you have to wake up really early in the morning ...in four hours

MASTERLIST

E01, E02, E03, E04, E05, E06, E07, E08, E09

"You're going to college like that?" Scott's voice stopped you midway, your already anxious heart pounding as you looked down at your apparel- blue trousers, black tank top and a grey shrug.

You: *exasperated* Oh come on! It was the simplest, most effortless look I could come up with. *pause* It took me three hours last night to come up with this.

"Why? What's wrong? Is this too much? Is it the top? Wait it's the shrug, right? Should I take a jacket? It's just... I haven't been to college in three years I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do here." You blabbered as your body followed Scott into the elevator, out of it, into the living room and then finally into the huge kitchen where Bucky was showing Peter how to cut onions without tearing up. "Relax!" Scott exclaimed as he opened the door to the fridge, carefully loosening the 'Pancake Princess' magnet from it and smoothly tossing it to make it stick to Bucky's arm with a clink.

Bucky: *sighs* Scott has a really weird sense of humour *looks at the camera zooming in on the magnet still stuck to his metal arm* Umm... Peter likes it.

"When I said you're going to college like that, I meant you're not going to college without this," Scott explained as he handed you a small brown box. You were confused for a moment until you opened it to find a collection of different local chocolates from your place. Your pounding heart was already melting. "Bless my taste buds! Scott! Thank you so much for this!"

Scott: See no matter how old you get, first days of anything will wreck your nerves. And Y/N is a sweet kid you deserve nothing but more sweetness. *smiles into the camera* Also I didn't pay for any of this. Steve just told me to put it on Tony's tab.

You hugged Scott tightly as you thanked him again. "You'll do great today, little tiger!" He hugged you back. "And I hope you don't mind that I ate all the nougat chocolates."

"Hey, Y/N! Off to college? Should I drop you?" Pietro called from behind you. You were quite sure the walkway had been completely empty a minute ago. "Thanks, Maximoff but Mr Roger's is going that way so I'm riding with him today." You smiled.

Y/N: *sighs* I know. I know, okay? And I am really not in the place to date someone right now. Especially, someone, I'm living with under the same roof. And I really don't want to lead him any further. He's a really nice guy and he definitely deserves someone better.

Wanda: Oh, I know! I know that Y/N knows that Pietro has some sort of crush on her because of all the *points at her head and weaves a plasmic red string in her hand*. *smiles* I also know she won't take any advantage of that situation. *looks at her nails* Pietro stole my tablet last night and returned it with a crack right in the middle. *turns back to the camera* I won't tell him till he's suffered enough. And he needs to suffer.

"Where's Y/N?" A sleep-deprived Loki came into the kitchen, making Scott and Peter exchange some coded glance before looking into the camera together. "She's left for college," Scott responded. "She wasn't looking so happy about it," Peter added, pressing his lips hard to not give himself away. "Nah, Peter," Scott took out an expensive packet of Chinese herbal tea and slid it over the marble slab towards Loki, "that's just the first day jitters. The moment she's going to enter the campus, everything will just fade into the distance." Loki turned on the heat under the kettle, listening but showing no interest. "Oh, you mean like making new friends?" Peter added innocently. Scott gave him a thumbs up. "Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she even finds an interesting guy, or a girl, that she likes, you know, to date and stuff." Peter took out the sugar and milk and put it over the counter before adding, "But won't that be difficult on her? She could definitely not bring her date here. I mean," he gestured to everything around him, "this does not exactly speak 'I want to Netflix and chill' with you." Loki turned to the cabinet and took out a mug which had 'Early bird gets the worm when the super late night-owl lets 'em have it'. "Whose is this?" He said as he scrutinized the white mug with his closed up brows. "Y/N." Both the boys said in unison. Bucky looked at the mug and was about to point something out before Peter interrupted. "Hey, Mr Barnes sir, could you tell me how to kill the pasta, if it's alright?" Bucky looks at Peter before turning to the camera. "...You mean how to boil it?" Loki took out a mug that had 'Title of your sex tape written over it' and poured out the boiling water in it, generously pouring the tea leaves with a bit of sugar. "You're absolutely right, Peter. I guess when she starts dating she'll decide to move out from here and move it with her SO. Ain't that right, Loki?" Loki took a sip of his burning tea as he looked into the camera. "It doesn't really matter what I think. But yes, I can see why it would be sad for you. She's already grown so close to you and Parker here. She took in that little dog you brought her that day. She even helped you make a card and arrange a gift for Cassie's birthday. She even brought Cards Against Humanity to play with you boys." "She did?" Both Scott and Peter for taken aback. Loki was sure they were nearly in tears.

Loki: *sipping his tea* They really should get a hobby. I mean it's fun and all until someone gets hurt in their feelings. *camera pans to the mug*

Meanwhile at college You looked at the camera guy following you, making you conscious of multiple eyes around the campus who had nothing better to do. "Do you really need to come here? Can't we do this back home?" You snapped. The camera stayed behind you, forcing you to sigh and walk a few steps before you spotted someone. "Oh shoot!" You cursed, running back and behind some bushes. The camera comes beside you to record a handsome young man in a white shirt and blue jeans passing by when he stopped as a student called out his name.

Y/N: That guy is David. He...*voice shivers* was someone I dated when I was a sophomore here. He was my senior. And now, he is going to be my assistant professor. *fake smile* ...*faltered expression* ...*censored curses*

"All right, listen to me," you order the camera guy, "if you're going to do this, you'll have to keep it on the down low. Okay? Just be as inconspicuous about this as possible. It's not like you have a permission slip for-" you were interrupted as the camera guy handed you a slip. "Great." Your expression turned dead. "Just great."

"Y/N? Is that you?" You had tried to walk out after the lecture as soon as possible but failed. Miserably. "Hey, David." You brought your hand forward for a shake while David tried to go for a hug, making him finally settle for the handshake. "Long time no see! How have you been?" You tried to smile and meet his eyes but couldn't, the camera zoomed in at you from behind David making it even more difficult. "I'm back to complete my studies." "Oh! I thought you had some financial problems the last time we talked about it." David stated matter-of-factly. You scoffed. "We did not talk about anything." "I found a sponsor." You finally added. David smiled as he studied all of you; his eyes hovering over your eyes, hair, lips, neck and shoulders. "Good. That's good. I'm happy for you." He jested as he placed his hand over your shoulder, making your expression falter for a second as you tried to put distance between the two of you. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" "Sure. I-uhh-I have to go." You power walked out of the class.

Y/N: ... *sunken into the chair, defeated* well, that was a disaster *bites into a small Toblerone.

"Hey! How was-" "No." Pietro looked at you go up the elevator without another word, his expression hurt a little. Scott saw you come by the kitchenette in the lounge and looked at your expressions before moving one of the mugs towards you. "Hot chocolate," is all that his soft face said. You slumped onto the island. "How did you know?" "You're not that different from my daughter, you know." You chuckled. "I'm sure she's way cooler than me." "Oh definitely. She's cooler than all of us combined." You smiled at him as he ruffled your hair. "Come on, sad baby. Get up and do something that makes you happy. You do not get to mope over some stupid day. What's gone is gone and you do not have to do it again." "Wise words, sensei!" You announced through your giggles. Scott bowed. "Arigatou gozaimasu."

"Is that what you'll do all day, every day? Drink tea and wallow yourselves in books?" Loki looked up from whatever he was reading and smiled at you. "There's nothing much interesting on this planet except for some decent works by some decent men and they are all in resting in pages." You nodded as you looked at his side of the table filled with half a dozen books of different bindings. "I agree with you on that today, buddy." You clunk your mug with his and let an involuntary laugh escape your lips. "What?" Loki asked as he gave you a questioning look. You sat down opposite him, bringing forward a comic book, "Seems like you've christened my new mug as well."

Scott: Hmmm. I wonder who could really use a new hobby. *sips from the mug titled crazy detective slash genius*

"Here, try these." You put the chocolate box between the two of you and took one out for yourself. "Words are great but chocolate is better. Unless you're allergic to cocoa or nuts." Loki took one and bit into it while you watched his expressions change with much content. "This is...not disgusting." "Yes," you laughed, "definitely not disgusting."

Y/N: Hmm. Today was...*a slight smile appears on your lips* not that bad.

Loki: *eating the chocolate* Ugh. This is what my thought would taste like when I'm wishing someone would kill me before I have to ever bear another second with snobby Midgardians. *takes a bite of another chocolate and moans involuntarily* this is what it felt like when I learned to do magic *continues eating* *pauses deep in thought* What's a buddy? A friend? *laughs* She is..what’s the expression...one hot mess  *sips hot chocolate from the same mug he christened today*

(Who do you think the early bird cup belonged to?)

E01, E02, E03, E04, E05, E06, E07, E08, E09

Taglist:

Permanent

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(If you have something specific you’d like to see in this AU please send me an ask, I’d love your inputs. If you’d like to be tagged, send an ask as well. xx)

[brighteyesillusionist]

Breathe Again

The slap to the face woke Tony up pretty quickly, which was pretty impressive considering how much he'd been drinking the night before. He blinked slowly, shaking his head a little to clear it.

Ow. Yeah, that was a mistake. Hangover was still a thing. Damn.

Rhodey was going to be pissed.

The second slap connected to his already stinging cheek and sent his head jerking to the side. Tony sighed and poked at the inside of his cheek with his tongue. It didn't taste like he was bleeding, but the flesh felt tender enough. Finally he turned to look up at whoever had decided to kidnap him this week.

He had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.

“Did you guys actually go shopping at a freaking costume shop?” The man was wearing one of those plastic Halloween animal masks over his face with a black jacket and jeans to complete the look. Glancing around the warehouse room, Tony also saw a few other guys in the same sort of outfit. The main guy had a lion mask, while the others consisted of a bear, elephant, zebra, and a tiger that he could see.

“Anthony Edward Stark,” the man said slowly. “You're probably wondering why you are here.”

Tony rolled his head to try and get the kink out of his neck. No luck. “Not really. Mostly just wondering about the masks still. Seriously, is there a 'Kidnapping for Dummies' book or something? It seems like all you guys get your ideas from the same place. Masks, abandoned warehouse, seriously it got old after the first couple times.”

The lion guy chuckled and Tony raised an eyebrow. “I don't think you realize the gravity of your situation.” He raised a hand, palm facing upwards. One of the guys off to the side, the one with the elephant mask, nodded and turned to lift one of the large garage doors in the warehouse.

Behind it was a little girl.

Tied to a chair and gagged, her eyes were wide with fear. Tony could hear her breathing through her nose in uneven pants. Her dark hair, matted with sweat and grease, hopefully just sweat and grease, fell limp beside her face, framing equally dark eyes.

Lion dude walked around Tony and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Now. Let me explain. We know you won't do anything if it's just you're well being on the line. You're used to this sort of thing.” He chuckled again and placed a hand on his other shoulder and squeezed. “You also know that we're not going to hurt you too badly, because we need you. She on the other hand, is completely expendable.”

The elephant man walked over to stand behind her, placing his own hands on her shoulders. Tony could see his fingers pressing into the cloth of her shirt, slowly turning the pink of his knuckles white. She whimpered slightly.

“Do you understand?” The lion guy's breath ghosted hissed through the slit in the mask and hit Tony's ear, the combination making him shiver slightly.

“Yeah, I get it,” he said, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything more. An out of place remark now would do nothing but annoy them, and he didn't want to give them an excuse to offer a demonstration.

“Good.” Lion guy let go of his shoulders and walked around to face him again. “A little birdie told me that you,” he poked Tony's nose, “are the mastermind behind the new line of personal grenades that the military has recently started using. We want some of those.”

Tony grimaced. Those grenades were... not something he wanted anyone using anywhere near civilians. They were meant to be a last resort sort of thing, emergency use only and not available to common soldiers. They were precise, powerful, and inexpensive to produce. A great combination for Stark Industries and the Army, and really really bad if goons like these got their hands on it.

“I honestly don't know what you're talking about.” Tony shrugged as much as he could. “I've been focused on school.”

“Break one of her fingers.”

The little girl's scream echoed the sharp snap of her finger. Tony's eyes widened in horror as hers overflowed with pain filled tears.

“The hell man! I told you I don't know!” Lion guy snapped again in response to Tony's shout and another scream rang out as another of the girl's fingers were broken.

“I don't like being lied to, Mister Stark.” He patted Tony on the head condescendingly. “I already told you she was expendable. You have eight lies left,” he snapped. “Make that seven.”

The girl was sobbing through her screams now.

Sweat dripped from Tony's temples and he licked his lips. He didn't want to give them anything, but he also didn't want the little girl to be hurt more.

“Stop it! Okay,” Tony said. “I designed the stupid grenades, okay.”

“That wasn't so hard now, was it?” The lion guy squeezed Tony's head before letting go. “This is how it's going to work now. We'll bring you supplies, and you build them while we watch. The girl is going to stay with you the whole time. Do anything we don't like, and well I think you know what's going to happen.”

Tony nodded and he felt one of the guys untie his arms from the chair. He pulled his hands in front of him and rubbed his sore wrists. The bear guy and zebra guy brought a table into the room and set it in front of him.

“Let's not waste time.” With a final squeeze to Tony's skull, lion guy walked away to stand against one of the far walls.

Looking at the contents of the table, Tony frowned. These guys actually did know what they were talking about. Everything here was exactly what he needed to build the grenades. There could be a couple of reasons for that and Tony didn't like any of them. The plans for the grenades were saved his his personal server, so conceivably they could have hacked into it. That option was doubtful, Tony was utterly confident in his programming, especially with the new AI he was developing. Also, there were a few other projects there that were close to completion, each more powerful or versatile than the grenades, and they hadn't mentioned those.

The other option, of course, was a leak at SI. Someone was dealing under the table and sold information to these guys. He'd have to investigate that when he got out of here.

He took a deep breath, and reached out to the materials on the table. Biting back a grin, he got to work.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He'd built five of them before they noticed anything was amiss. One for each of them. Honestly, it was pretty easy after that.

The first one he tossed at the guy with the elephant mask. He'd relaxed a little, leaning against the wall rather than standing directly behind the girl now. The grenades weren't exactly explosives, and they weren't technically lethal, but the concussive explosion was plenty effective at knocking the man out.

Tony stood and lobbed two more of them, one at the zebra and bear guys standing near each other, and the second and tiger guy who stood up on the walkway above everyone. They collapsed quickly and Tony turned to grab the last two grenades.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Tony turned to look at Lion guy. He stood with the girl, still in her chair, in front of him. His gun pressed against her head. “Set those down and walk over here.”

Tony gently set the grenades on the table and walked slowly over.

“Good.” Tony could hear the grin in lion guy's voice. “Those were not what we asked for. I told you I don't like liars.” He pressed the barrel harder against the girl's head, getting a whine in response.

Tony stood in front of the man and ground his teeth. “You asked me to build grenades, I built grenades. You didn't tell me not to use them.”

“That is true,” the man said. “Lucky for you, that little demonstration was rather impressive. So I'll tell you what, build me more of those on top of the ones I already asked for, and maybe her punishment won't be quite so... permanent.”

Tony bit his lip, almost. So close. “And if I say no?”

“I think you know the answer to that.” He pulled the gun away from the girl and pointed it at Tony.

Tony grinned. “Yeah, I think I do.” In his pocket he hit the remote detonator button he'd rigged for one of the grenades. It exploded behind him, distracting the lion guy enough that he was able to grab the gun and pistol whip the guy across the temple. He fell with a groan, his head bouncing against the ground as he landed. Tony sighed, and stepped behind the girl to untie her.

“You okay?” He asked quietly, untying her arms from the chair. She nodded and as soon as he'd finished untying her she threw her arms around him in a hug.

“Hey. It's alright. Um...” Tony grimaced. “What's your name kiddo?”

“Lilly,” she said quietly, huffing breaths against his shoulder.

He nodded. “Lilly. Okay, pretty name. Um, I'm going to get you out of here, alright. We're gonna call some people to take care of these guys.”

She nodded quietly, and Tony took a deep breath. “Okay, yeah. Sorry kid. It's all over, alright. I know it hurts. Take a deep breath, alright? Just breathe. It's all over.”