#also while i was tying this i was like. oh. this is also
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⋮ ♯; ⤷ YOU'RE MY FAVORITE .ᐟ
alhaitham x fem!reader, smut; tying up, cowgirl, praise, check-ins (cuz they are hot as hell too); marking (hickeys), pretty vanilla if you ask me; idk what else needs a warning wc: 665 (man so close yet so far) a/n: reblogs are nice, lemme know what you think! i wouldn't mind some feedback..... inbox is always open and maybe yall see me here a bit more often in November (unless my studies kill me lol)
having ALHAITHAM tied to the bed, laid bare for your eyes and your eyes only, is almost like a dream come true. and since he came out with this idea, something you always wanted to bring up… of course your body reacted on its own.
“does it feel good? is it tight?” you make sure he’s not in pain, that he’s comfortable because the last thing you want to do is hurt him while fulfilling your little fantasy. but when he assures you all is well, you can’t hide the excitement coursing through you. “you’re so pretty like this… i mean- you’re always pretty and handsome but this is- i really like it like that…”
ALHAITHAM smiles and lets out a little chuckle, his body growing warm and face getting red thanks to your words; also, something about your hungry stare, about you clearly enjoying it, and about pleasing you like that… it gets him going as well.
you straddle his lap, plopping softly on it; the feeling of your soft, plushy thighs against his skin only fuels his desire and need, making him let out a little, somewhat impatient, sound. but you’re no better, feeling him grow harder underneath you, seeing his every reaction, you just can’t help and whimper softly. leaning in, you place your lips on his, kissing him slowly at first, just to get greedy right after.
normally, ALHAITHAM would hold your hips, would have his hands all over you, and would make sure it’s really you on top of him; but not it’s you who gets to touch him all over. getting handsy, he can feel the rough possessiveness in your touch, in every caress and rub.
“you’re so- mmmh, just- perfect,” you mutter between the kisses, humming and moaning quietly. with hands all over his upper body, you graze your fingertips over his muscles, making sure to leave a trace of fiery passion.
“baby-” ALHAITHAM lets out a short groan when you start rubbing yourself against him, a little teasing but also a preparation for what’s to come. “you’re a- you’re a tease-”
“i know, i know,” kissing him again, you continue the slow movements a little more. you two moan into each other’s mouth, bodies reacting and moving in an almost synchronized pace. “just a little more- a little more- i know you can-”
muttering soft praises and encouragements, you trail your lips down, leaving kisses across his cheek, jaw, and neck; in every place you know will get a reaction from him. “
oh- fuck! baby you’re-!” ALHAITHAM groans again, jaw clenching when you finally take him inside you, your tight and slick walls inviting and nestling his cock so sweetly. with your weak moans and whimpers accompanying your movements, it’s just a matter of time for him to go insane.
you reach for his palm and hold it tight, kissing him softly and lovingly, all while you move up and down on him. ALHAITHAM throbs and moans, loving how your hand feels small and warm wrapped around his own. kissing you back, shamelessly eager, ALHAITHAM bucks his hips up, reaching deep inside; reaching and pressing on all the sweet and sensitive places that have you breathless in seconds.
“fuck-! fuck, alhaitham!” you moan and throw your head back, losing it to the pleasure.
he’s fast to suck on your neck and leave soft kisses all over your cleavage, something that became a small habit of his. a little familiar thing, grounding him at the moment; the feeling of your warm skin, of your pulse underneath his lips, the warm and shallow breaths over his ear – it’s all he loves and needs to be sure you feel good and safe with him. safe enough to let yourself free and feral, safe enough to take him like you want and not be ashamed of it. that’s what causes his heart to flutter aggressively in his chest… and to cum inside you immediately, filling you up and stretching you well.
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#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#genshin x reader#fics: genshin impact#fics: alhaitham#alhaitham smut#alhaitham#genshin alhaitham#alhaitham x reader#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin imagines
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we died together, intertwined, literally bleeding into each other, we came back together, in the same drawn breath. we were connected before but now we are as one entity separated by different bodies, our pain, anger, fear and joy shared between us. you cannot separate us, not even with death, we will always come back to each other. we will never leave each other. our very souls intertwined.
#leverage ot3#<- hi i’m being feral#god. absolutely chewing on an au concept#leverage immortality au#this babey can fit everything in it!!!!!!!!!!!!#dying in each others arms. coming back Wrong. immortality. codependency to such an extreme level#oughoufhough ough#also while i was tying this i was like. oh. this is also#joe x nicky#*typing#anyways. anyways. anyways.#my writing#words#YOU BLED IN TO ME AND I BLED INTO YOU AND NOW WE ARE THE SAME
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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Thoughts on transfem Ningguang with a fem!reader whose her bodyguard? Fem!reader whose like a loyal, protective dog out in the world when they're out and about together, but an utter submissive puppy behind closed doors for the Tianquan?
literally shaking like a chihuahua oh what i'd do to be the Tianquan's lap dog..mean femmes are so attractive its like putting my brain in a blender.
It's not surprising the Tianquan has a bodyguard. She's a key political figure in Liyue and anyone aiming to dismantle the carefully curated hierarchy has her at the top of the list. To the public, your just muscle to intimidate the lesser crooks from even thinking about it and deal with those who get too bold.
Behind closed doors, though? Your nothing but the Tianquan's lap dog at her beck and call.
She isn't fond of public displays, but she does like hiding it in public just for the thrill. Knowing you wear your collar under your uniform so you'll always remember who holds your leash is a thrill she can't beat.
She's a bit mean and sadistic, really, but she's the Tianquan. She has the money to spoil you like a good puppy afterwards..so long as you behave and exceed expectations. Whether you lean more dominant or submissive doesn't matter, since you'll probably be subbing whether your top or bottom. It's a different kind of thrill to make you sit on her lap, stuffed full of her cock, while she works. That or she has you under her desk, one hand fisted in your hair while she uses your mouth instead.
She has to be at the top of her game, after all, and her position is a stressful one. What better way to de-stress then to put her little puppy to good use? You're just so pliant when she orders you on your knees.
She keeps it tame if thats more your thing, but if you give her the go ahead she will buy you muzzles. Some just the standard muzzle, others with gags, plenty of collars and leashes for all sorts of occasions..she might even get you faux ears and a tail just for a little finishing touch.
She's just as big on aftercare, though. She puts her money to good use spoiling you, partially because she knows she can get a little rough with you. That and as much as she likes to call you her puppy, she won't have you smelling like a wet dog. Get in the bath.
You won't stay clean for long, especially because she absolutely goes all out on her tub so it's more then big enough for some extra activities, but it's better then nothing.
Sometimes, though, she just needs to be pampered herself. She adores body worship after a particularly stressful day. Just lounging in half tied silk while you worship every inch of her.
And if anyone notices you limping the morning after..they say nothing. They just chalk it up to a fight with some assassin or similar. And if they do know, they know better then to bring it up.
Bonus for being shared with Beidou when she drops by Liyue harbor. Nothing like a rowdy pirate to shake things up and make a mess of you on the Tianquan's bed while she watches.
#asks#Anonymous#minors dni#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#ningguang#ningguang smut#beidou was my og main does that say anything abt me. i was shaking like a leaf when i saw miss ningguang like h#mean femmes r literally so hot it rots my brain. i love u mean femmes mwah#sorry i see an ask abt any femmes and my brain stops working :(#oh right erm#fem reader#anyway miss ningguang using reader for her pleasure...........#treating you like a glorified toy#falls down a flight of stairs#obligatory mention that she will absolutely tie reader up. but shes extra abt it#shibari. weirdest edging session ever she spends like 1h tying reader up#i think she'd also be into wax play. tying you up and putting a muzzle+gag on you while she drips wax onto you..#g-d damn it i got carried away in the tags AGAIN free me#i am a chronic yapper#obligatory beidou mention btw. frequently bought together do not seperate#also did i answer this MONTHS later? yeah. um. coughs.
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the major arcana, shuffled: 4/??
THE HIGH PRIESTESS; ⤉ spirituality, higher power, mystery, subconscious ⤈ hidden motives, secrets, repressed intuition, cognitive dissonance THE EMPRESS; ⤉ motherhood, femininity, nurturing, harmony ⤈ smothering, negligence, lack of growth, insecurity THE EMPEROR; ⤉ fatherhood, structure, authority, control ⤈ tyranny, domination, recklessness, rigidity
#oh boy a 3 for 1 deal!!!#ty to fheythfully for your portrait tutorial!! :D#my game crashed when i was making this and i was about ready to pass away#the idea for this was 'haunted family paintings' with a dash of dorian gray#i intentionally fucked up the facial expressions with crimes & used photoshop filters to achieve the decaying effect of the reverse#for the people who don't know the tatlongharis (aka paris' maternal family via andromache):#the priestess is their aunt cassandra / the empress is their grandma hecuba / the emperor is their grandad priam#paris never met their grandma because she died way before paris was born#how did she die? priam accidentally caused her death but she (and cassandra) predicted she would die b/c they have the echo#so there you go :)#also i tried to match the crowns to the card names but i don't think i got close lol#body horror cw#just in case#notice how hecuba's face is all mangled while priam's flesh is wasting away. like the rotten corpse he is#as per usual flip your phone around to see the reverse sides#mygposes.#ffxiv:tma#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur
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Making myself cry on my reread of tda noticing how obvious it is in every other character's POV that ty is drawn to kit and kit's presence is obviously calming/reassuring to ty and then thinking about how kit just like does not see it and thinks he has to be serving some purpose for ty to want him around 😭
WTF IS WITH EVERYONE ON THIS APP COMING FOR ME
DO I NOT SUFFER ENOUGH????? I'M A KITTY STAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I HAVE ENOUGH PAIN IN MY LIFE ALREADY WHY ARE YOU REMINDING ME?????????????????
but on a more serious note (lolsies), i just love love love that in tda you can see how ty needs kit so much and always (and i mean always) wants him around. but kit is just too blind to see it bc he's got it in his head that no one could ever truly love him and it makes them that much more heartbreaking, bc they both love each other so freaking much but don't see that their feelings are like insanely requited (those fools)
#it's so crazy to think that ty will actually be expressing all of this in twp tho#like wdym we will see an officially requiting kit's feelings ty??????#WHAT DO U MEAN????????#like it's one thing being sure that ty feels the same and actually reading about it#like actually imagine that for a moment#[pause]#i am literally speechless#oh wait no im sobbing in my room my bad#ALSO I TOO AM REREADING TDA HELLO#BUT I HAVE TO STOP FOR A WHILE BC OF UNI STUFF WHICH MAKES ME REALLY SAD :(#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#kitty#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#tda#twp#tsc#asks
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okay whatever. anyway ive been watching a ton of yu yu hakusho and im really enjoying it but this is one of those rare occasions where you HAVE to watch the dub like fr if you understand english please go for the dub. its not just yusuke lol every single character has managed to deliver a line so funny that ive wanted to hurl.....also the original has such an iconic/storied cast for 90s anime watchers that i cant watch it without getting jumpscared by 1) luffy or 2) literally every megumi ogata role
#i know ogata mostly as ccs yukito but literally pick an edgy but beautiful 90s guy (and shinji) and it's her voice. i hear shes in jjk now#also luffy as koenma 😭😭😭 for a while if he said smth funny id switch the language so i could hear luffy say it. ty mayumi.#oh the dub VA for botan is doing this like bad transatlantic accent that is SO FUNNY and really perfect for the role#yyh#yu yu hakusho
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Points at you. 10 and/or 11 for starstruck?
Two starstruck asks,,,,,,joy of joys,,
Part of an ask game linked here.
#10. What's an au you have for them?
Since them meeting at all is technically an AU i have 3 different ways that they do meet up. There's the one where Juniper ends up with the agency/adjacent to and ends up working with Reggie (have written a fic with this). The next one is Juniper surviving but basically going stealth and living as normal of a life as he can and ending up meeting Reggie through chance (most recent fic I've written). And then there's my personal favourite where Reginald "You're lucky my tracking skills are still up to snuff" Crane keeping himself busy after Phoenix was MIA and finding Juniper still alive (fic I want to write but haven't started mainly because it may end up multi chapter).
In terms of more AU canon bending taking them and putting them in a completely unrelated situation...I have a guilty pleasure Warrior Cats AU for IEYTD in general. Both JJ and Reggie have perfect warrior cats suffixes in their names already (Juniper and Crane) so they're called Junipersong (charcoal bengal) and Craneflight (tabby Norwegian forest cat). It's very silly but the amount of scenes I have in my mind for it...good lord...
#11. How was their first kiss like?
Augh my friend Imp wrote an absolutely excellent fic about it (tragically in the realm of unfinished Google docs) and I'm shaking their hand about it so hard. Basically Juniper kissing Reggie but he like wasn't ready/fully expecting it and Juniper absolutely panicking because he thinks he's misread every interaction between them both since they got closer. The second one is much sweeter though,,
#realised i phrased all the fics ive written like those ghosts that haunted scrooge#ah yes the fic of starstuck past#the fic of starstruck present and the fic of starstruck yet to come. it's so dumb#and uhh for the warrior cats thing um. of course they aren't purebreds minus Juniper who used to be a kittypet (housecat) but -#- it was moreso for easy description#reggie is fluffy but he's not quite maine coonf fluffy...norwegan forest cat was a nice middle ground...still gets big guy points too#also um side note roxanix in that au um. they adopted a kit as a stand in for robutler in that au......#also solaris is a VERY grumpy warrior turned medicine cat annnnd thats about all I have fully hashed out in my mind for it so far#im so torn abt also having triple threat.....extra large polycule where phoenix is just intimidated by the others prism is dating lmao#ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT THE WARRIOR CATS AU#can you tell I have a special interest in cats/warrior cats. oh how I miss drawing cats. but I must learn people. for the brainworms...ouuu#i don't have much else to say on that second question other than....AUUUUUUGH they're so. there's so much pent up stuff.#like for JJ it's the first time he's let himself actually love another man the way he wants to while for Reggie it's a lot of -#- realising JJ is trying to be a better person while still ackowleging the fact that he did bad??? basically second chance yada yada#man. i love these two#ik im a broken ass reccord but I've never proactively posted abt them outside the last couple months and it's been so theraputic#ty for the ask it was fun :3c#ieytd#starstruck#junicrane#ask game#not tagging them specifically I don't wanna clog up tags too much#god WHY do i have such an issue eith that. mental issue. anyways
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they rejected my application :(
#i mean i knew that they were going to. i literally do not have the degree they want#but sometimes it feels as if people in this field don't take me seriously because im young lol#like they assume that my experience just Does Not Apply because im not in my 40s#its fine. i never told anyone irl i applied for the job so i don't have to worry about that (ty past me) (i almost said it like 10 times)#when the time comes for me to REALLY start job hunting ill start taking rejections more personally but this was a good experience i think#them giving me a rejection at all and not just ghosting me was actually a huge relief tbh#am i supposed to respond to the rejection email? i guess i will?#dont burn your bridges etc#it feels a little weird saying ty for the opportunity when they didn't even interview me#but this whole corporate bullshit is just empty tradition at this point so whatever#anyway the GOOD news is that my really big name reference told my current boss (as a joke but still) that he wanted to steal me from her#he works for the state which would be an INCREDIBLE opportunity if he was in any way serious#so when the time comes ill be casually mentioning to him that im job hunting and we'll see where it goes#literally every conference ive been to people know his name and ask where he is so im hoping he will have enough pull to let a fresh grad in#two different people (both also rather big names in the field) have told me that he thinks really highly of me#and while working with him was a little bit like pulling teeth i don't really have the option to be choosy rn lol#anyways. im disappointed but not surprised#it was a remote position too :( oh well
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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If your "Sorry pancreatic cancer but i don't think you qualify as an emotion
This is bullshit you let jimmy urine in
Yelling slurs is an important step in a persons life how about you read a fucking book" post were a pokemon, it would be a pokemon.
KCMSJKLXMJKDVN?? hwhjhaha???? help what im sorry wha=g
#losing it#asks#also pokenon while ur here can u assign a pokemon 2 uhhhh/. fuck what was it again i forgot. OH YEAH the album EURINGER#tldr its like a very genuine stream of thought sound with heavy reliance on transitions and songs tying into eachother#its about jimmys personal struggles and experience as a musician and the album loops which could be to represent a cycle#of making art just to be torn down 4 it . also the album covers Red#ok thats it thanks
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good morning everyone!!
#🧚🏽♀️ — luxe chit chat#im finishing golden wind today!#im gonna do blog maintenance while i watch hehe#btw every time i rewatch golden wind im like holy SHIT this is SO good#oh also ty everyone for the love on my toxic!megumi fic!!#it rly means a lot ur all so sweet#i think i might work on my requests today too :3#i want to play sims but u know when u just cant get into sims???#like i load it up and then im like ugghhh not feelin it#but i WANT to play grrrr#so yea anyway since im not playing sims i can start working on requests#i hope ur all having good days n nights mwah mwah <3
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On the one hand, I've been in bed sick since Friday. On the other hand, I finished two books this weekend, which is nice?
Lmao I just checked the time stamps and I started Nona The Ninth at 5pm Saturday and finished it at 3am Sunday morning, so that's less than 12 hours start to finish xD
I also finished a reread of Network Effect for like the third time, which is a delight as always
#next up is finishing Witch King and Stars Hide Your Fires#and then i will no longer have 4 separate library books ticking down in my phone lmao#we are also 2 hours from the end of book 5 in the Apollo series!!!!!!!!#(me and my sister have listened to the entire series while driving places haha)#it is EXTREMELY good and feels like a return to the style of the original pjato series and all pjato fans should read it please and ty#and then WRITE ME FIC ABOUT APOLLO HANGING OUT WITH HIS KIDS!!!!#oh wait the MOST important part of finishing apollo is that then i get to read the Will/Nico book!!!!! hype!!!!!!!!#lori chat
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do you have a les mis fic rec list 👀
yeah i am somehow able to make one which is insane bc i usually don't even read fic. the only time ive ever read this much fic before was when i was into atla which like. that was a hyperfixation strong enough to get me onto this website. exr has such an effect on me... (and yeah almost all of this is gonna be exr. naturally)
i assume you've read or at least heard of world ain't ready, but i'd be remiss not to mention it! the thing with this fic is that it's the ultimate exception to every preference i tend to have with exr fic—it's a modern au, it ends with them having a good, loving, requited, healthy relationship (and with them being alive), and it's often cheesy in a very fanfic way. and so i was really not expecting to enjoy it nearly as much as i did. like, i really really loved it. it's genuinely quite well-written with compelling characterizations and it really does an amazing job of fulfilling the need i sometimes have for them to just. be happy and alive and loving each other. it's possibly the fic i spend the most time thinking about.
the other long fic that i've been really into (i'd say it's probably my favorite les mis fic i've read) is beautiful & good. it starts off slow, but i promise the buildup is worth it. i really love the way in which their relationship is developed throughout—it always feels realistic, in character, and interesting. and it's just so enjoyable to read (and often very funny!), and there's always something new (or many things) that makes me go insane every chapter. it also is the most interesting fic i've read when it comes to them having sex & their characterizations wrt it. actually, the thing that compelled me to read this fic in the first place was a friend telling me that, at one point in it, enjolras says that penatrative sex isn't egalitarian. i really love when they're so insane....
i've actually read all of that author's les mis fics, and i don't remember there being a single one i disliked. but some favorites include epiphanies (woah crazy another modern au), the pursuit of light (the token non-exr fic on this list woah), in lutetia, and the loves of les amis.
another favorite is, of course, ta bouche de ciel by my bestie lucy @jondrettegirls <3. there are lots of things i love about it (which makes sense, like lucy and i are friends in part bc we have such similar tastes w this kind of thing) but one way in which it stands out is that it's the only fic i can think of that i've read that has examination of the concept of beauty as it relates to both normative cultural ideals and to exr as a prevalent theme.
and some other shorter fics i've really liked include thorns and all (which i found bc i was curiously looking through the exr hanahaki tag. this was the only one in it that i particularly enjoyed and oh my god. parts of it made me so insane), put to the sword (among other things in this fic, i love how weird r is about spirituality! just like me fr), and into the light (which is as close as any fic comes to being My ExR Canon tbh).
hope you enjoy!
#woah that got longer than i intended. idt ive ever made a fic recs post before actually like by the time ppl started asking me for them on#sgk it'd been a while since i'd read much atla fic (& i'd decided that i disiked a bunch that i formerly enjoyed lol. but i think my taste#is more refined now to the point that i dont think i'll change my mind on the les mis fics i like any time soon.....#asks#anon#les mis#also it was sooo funny going through my ao3 history for this and seeing that before i started reading exr the most recent time i'd used ao3#was in early february. and before that it was last november...#and even then it was not regular at all lol#also ty for this ask for getting me to reread into the light#i hadnt read it since really shortly after getting into exr. and oh my god its sooooooo......
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😵💫😵💫😵💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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found some of my essays from a world history class i took... you know the essays you spend two nights prepping and panicking for and then scramble to write during the bell period... well i found one about the universal nature of war in response to a class project and What the Fuck was I On when writing that. What The Fuck
#THATS WHY I SCORED ABOVE AN 100% IN THAT CLASS. OKAY#I UNDERSTAND NOW#ramblings#this started because i found my class notebook. which i took very good notes in#so i was like oh lets see whats going on here and then my brain exploded#i love history classes so much im so serious#ive also super lucked out in terms of teachers both this year and last year. and the year before truly#but my brain just goes WHAHAH at info like this. i love looking at the world and Figuring It Out. also like. its a humanitites story yk#my teachers are always very good at showing that aspect too. asking you questions that make you think about it all.#anyways i was looking up illiberal democracy definition bc it got tossed around in class a while back and like Ohkay. i understand#referring to jan 6th as jan 6th and like having the understanding that that Date alone means something symbolic and important. lack of a#smooth transition into power. yk#specifically thinking about the universal nature of war response cuz like. yeah. its universal#histroy repeats itself blah blah but also the people living are intrinsically linked by circumstances that don't seem like they have any#affect on each other but they invoke such a similar feeling#also i ended that essay by tying in the idea of hope like seriously how did i do that#what on earth was i on. i hope i made my teacher's brain explode#i did get an 100 on that essay and a proud comment too i think so it was worth it all#annnnd nobody will ever see these tags. good
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