#also while i was tying this i was like. oh. this is also
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omg bachira, isagi, tetchou and dazai with an autistic s/o PLEASE
if you will , make them headcanons ^^ hope you have a wonderhoy day !!
hello, my alien. we’re each other’s mystery
— bachira + isagi + tetchou + dazai x autistic!s/o
so basically all of them x me i see.. i feel like i fucked up on isagi i cant pinpoint his personality ugh. debut into bllk omg im shy hi reentry into bsd too haha if u guys were active in 2022 i think i am familiar. WAIT NOTE AB THE TITLE… LISTEN TO FRIENDS BY BTS IM NOT ABLEIST ITS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE :(
— bachira meguru
lets be honest he is also a bit autistic…
very hard to be around when you’re overstimmed ngl… he tries to tone it down when he knows you cant handle too much at the moment. but it’s hard for him to just dial the craziness to 50 😞
oh, very good though at getting you out of social situations. he can slip the two of you out of a party like it’s nobody’s business, cause it is nobody’s business :x
hes also a bit of a wild card too if you’re obsessive about having a routine. he’s a free spirit, so having to do things the same way is a bit of a chore.
when you go non-verbal, he brings out a notebook that you two write your conversations on. he doesn’t actually have to write it down. he can communicate just fine, but he likes to write them down as a memento of your relationship.
he alsoooo likes listening to you yap about your special interest! very attentive, you’d think that you’re a professor and he’s your student at how the flow of your conversation is going
“huh— where did bachira and s/o go..?” isagi asked. he turned around, looking for the two of you after the sudden realization that he was abandoned in the middle of the buffet line…
bachira pulled you out, and in an abandoned hall. he noticed you suddenly started plugging your ears.
‘you ok sunshine? :( is the music too loud?’
‘a little bit… i just wanna get away for like 5 min..’
‘hehe, dont worry. ill stay with you (╹◡╹) <3’
‘ty meg :) <3’
bachira smiled as he saw your hand-drawn emoticon. the two of you doodled all over the notebook while he hummed until you were ready to return.
isagi groaned as he saw the two of you reenter. “you guys..! you should’ve told me if you were gonna sneak away!” bachira stuck out his tongue, making a silly expression. “oops! it just slipped my mind!” he snickered.
— isagi yoichi
with the geniuses he has to keep up with, you’re a total walk in the park for him ;p
mega caretaker, he’s super good at protecting you in uncomfortable environments. i feel like he has a weighted blanket somewhere in his room to cover you with, cause he knows it makes you feel safe.
he lowk overprotective sometimes though. he knows his friends like bachira and raichi are a bit more on the raucous side, so he doesn’t hang out with them when he’s with you until like… 2 years into your relationship (they lowk didnt even know he had a partner). in those two years, he only introduced you to his peaceful friends like nagi, hiori, iemon, and kuon
he doesn’t fight you too much about if you have a routine. he has a luck routine and his spacial awareness makes him really meticulous about how things happen, so he’s gets your struggle :x
he tried learning sign language. he really tried… but there was so much signs; for an entire month, his search history was ‘how do i say [thing] in sign language’
he ended up only learning the alphabet, numbers, and basic words like please and hungry. now when you go non-verbal, he simply just opens his notes app for you to type ;p
he, like bachira, loves your yap. its like his personal podcast fr. he likes to let you sit on the kitchen counter and yap, while he washes dishes. he also likes putting on wireless headsets and listen to your voice messages while he practices, or works out at the gym.
“are you absolutely sure you wanna meet them?” isagi asks. “babe, theyre my friends, but theyre also kind of annoying.” he warns you. of course he meant it lovingly… you nod. “yup! they’re your friends, yoi. i wanna meet them..!”
he sighs and nods. “fine… don’t say i didn’t warn you…” he opens the door. you recognize kunigami, he’s talking with chigiri. “isagi! there you areee~!” a boy with a bob-cut hums. “ah, bachira… this is s/o.” isagi points to you. “ooh~! nice to meet you! im bachira meguru. so you’re the one isagi’s been hiding?”
“don’t overwhelm them too much…” isagi sighs, he pulls you away carefully, bringing you in kunigami’s direction. if you settled in with people you were already acquainted with, then you should probably adjust better. that was isagi’s conclusion. “if any of them pester you, just tell me, okay?”
you nod, a bit saddened at your’s and bachira’s conversation’s sudden end. “im not a kid, yoi. you don’t have to worry over me or anything.” isagi frowns. “hnn… i just don’t want my friends overstimulating you. they might be too much for you, babe.” he explains. at that moment, igaguri suddenly yelled out at gagamaru for taking one of his gyozas, making you instinctively cover your ears.
“seeee?” he points out. “okay… point taken… but, i can still deal with it. if im uncomfortable, ill just tell you, okay?” you offer, trying to compromise. isagi looks around, weighing the possibilities before nodding. “finee…”
that day actually went quite well, you were able to keep up with all of them without getting overstimulated. that night, isagi had his face in his pillow, his face being that of death and grief. ‘they dont need me anymore… theyre gonna end up hanging out with my friends more than me…’ he mumbles.
— tetchou suehiro
another lowk might be autistic (but in a diff way)
he isnt too sure about what to do when you’re overstimmed. so, he usually just takes you to a quiet place and sits down with you until you’re calmer.
hes hella conflicted on whether or not he should introduce you to the hunting dogs. his line of work is pretty dangerous after all, and his co-workers aren’t exactly… pacifists 💀
he ends up deciding not to though. worst comes to worst, he just introduces you 5 years in to your relationship— thats what he thinks.
he doesnt mind your routine. he, himself, is pretty eccentric, so you two are just okay with each other’s quirks :x
tetchou doesnt care when you go non-verbal. lol. okay joke, its more like, he’s also very quiet, he doesn’t even actually notice that you two havent talked to each other for 14 hours.
but when the two of you are talking, he is still as quiet as ever. it’s usually you yapping and tetchou asking questions once in a while. never though, does he ever interrupt you when you talk; always waits for you to finish what you’re saying so you dont lose your train of thought 🫡
tetchou spreads some spicy ranch on his pancakes. it was a pretty good combo. he sat at the dining table, as he heard your alarm clock ring.
first thing you do when you wake up, stretch then use the bathroom. tetchou has your routine memorized by now. second, have cereal for breakfast. third, get dressed. fourth, check if your bag has everything you need. he continues his own routine, and you complete yours, until it’s time to head to work.
you’re double, triple, quadruple checking your bag, making sure you didn’t leave anything. tetchou finished lacing up the strings of his boots before he rises back. “ready for work?” he asks, taking his own little peek into your bag.
“uhuh” you nod. tetchou hums, noticing the charger you left on the counter, and slipping it into your bag. “now you are…”. you gasp, “so that’s what i forgot… thank you, chou..” you say. his deep voice vibrates in his throat as he leans in and kisses you, “stay safe. call me if you need anything.” you wrap your arms around his neck.
last part of your routine, hug and kiss tetchou before leaving for work.
— osamu dazai
he lowk adhd u feel?
when youre overstimmed, he lets you lay on his shoulder while he pats your back and brushes your hair. times like this are his personal favorites, it’s when the world is quiet and no one but you and him exists.
defdefdef introduces you to the ADA members. he finds you similar to kyoka, and always encourages you to hang out with her.
adding on that, he sort of sees akutagawa in you… is akutagawa also autistic? hmm… either way, hes a criminal! he cant let his partner interact with a criminal! — the criminal says after diner dashing again.
the routine thing doesnt really work for dazai either… it’s either you break up with him or let him wake up at 4:00 to eat noodles and rearrange the layout of his dorm, bestie… (just leaves his pot in the sink btw, he a bum like that)
actually knows sign language! dont ask me why he knows, bc i dunno either. he just does :x
he also loves to listen to your yap. actual yapper x yapper. you two’s conversations are lowk exhausting though. you both interrupt each other and talk until you’re both breathless. HAHAHAAH
sluuuuuuurp!
you’re waken up by the loud, really gross, squelching sounds of dazai’s saucy noodles as he slurps them up. the sound is uncomfortable— really uncomfortable.
“s—samu… dont… too loud…” you groan, trying to cover your ears. dazai perks up, “ah, did i wake you..? awh, im sorry, dear..!” he apologizes. even though dazai truly meant it, for some reason it just sounded like sarcasm. “uhuh… j…just dont do it again… trying to sleep…” you hum. “got it… go back to sleep, sweets”
for the rest of the night, you sleep well. dazai makes sure to remain veeeery quiet, taking bites of his noodles rather than slurping, carrying his feet, and using all of his hidden muscles to carry his bookshelf. maybe if he keeps doing this, he wont look so lanky anymore.
at around 6:30, you finally wake up again, your surroundings completely different, and you start to panic. “wh—h..huh..?” you look around. dazai’s in the closet, rolling all of his empty beer bottles into it. “hi, baby! just decided to tidy up a bit. you like?” he asks
tidy up? “tidy up, my ass..! all of your stuff is in different places..! i have to relearn my way around your dorm all over again..!” you complain. “hehe… it was for a good cause! you have your own space now in here!” he grins, opening the second to the bottom drawer in his dresser. it was tidied up, and empty.
“for me?” you ask. “mmhm.” he confirms with a hum. even though dazai was quite lazy, stubborn, and annoying, he really put effort into making you happy. just you.
#bungou stray dogs x you#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu x reader#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai x reader#dazai x you#tetchou suehiro#bsd tetchou#tetchou x reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bachira meguru#bachira x reader#bllk bachira#blue lock bachira#bachira x you#bachira fluff#bachira headcanons#isagi yoichi#bllk isagi#blue lock isagi#isagi x reader#isagi x you#isagi x y/n#isagi fluff
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(agent grayson 2014-2016 issue #4)
so i finished issue 4 and i have thoughts about it and issue 2 seeing as i will not be doing a seperate post for it (but have obviously read it before issue 4).
for issue 2, i did not like midnighter being with the god garden at all. i had to actually research what it is on a wiki and think the concept of it being an orbital space station run by the gardener is a blatant ripoff of bendix's stormwatch. that, and the mere fact that the gardener oversees tons of dangerous experiments and is responsible for the creation of midnighter?
that's.. literally what henry bendix did. the god garden still existing (not responsible for midnighter's creation) but instead showing midnighter's growth in his response to possible manipulation could've been a unique opportunity of where this time he chooses to stay with his friends and family when faced with that.
that is how i would've handled the god garden and its presence in midnighter's journey for this. he'd still be in his whimsy scary grinning gorey violence and downtime with friends and family but would also be working to track down the meta bio-weapons alone and with his loved ones while they help him against the god garden.
or interesting idea: the god garden is targeting apollo instead and it's his plot against it. he shows off his inner strength and how he is unable to be manipulated away from his friends and family and gets a plot of him absolutely dismantling every shred of the god garden. i almost prefer this second idea more as it would've given apollo more time on pages.
issue 2 for me described by a more sleep deprived and less pained version because of meds version of myself was 'stinky' so no 'icky' garden. also, i think tom king utilizes cannibalism in far too many plot lines and they are never well done. i'm not saying it shouldn't exist in media, just that it shouldn't be written by someone who doesn't know how to write it (or women for that matter).
as for issue 4, i genuinely had to take a break from being angry due to the sexualization of dick grayson. having a woman take pictures of him shirtless without his consent to show to other women made me grind my teeth. when they then were suggesting finding his room to do a 'man-ty raid', i actually screamed and had to skip ahead to the page for midnighter and go back to finish reading later.
the unfortunate cherry on top of a seeley written cardboard cake covered in toothpaste as frosting was making dick flip around and the women who were sexualizing chase after him and continue to do so. and what happens? dick is punished for it. the one who took pictures to invade his privacy and treat him like a piece of meat got extra credit in hadrian's school. just. ugh.
as for midnighter's presence, he was limited to a page this time and he wasn't alone! andrew aka the dc version of apollo was there for the first time i've seen since my impromptu reading of stormwatch vol 3.
midnighter is interrogating someone regarding another meta bio-weapon in the form of 'the heart' by dangling him over the edge of a skyscraper when apollo arrives stating the man he's threatening 'doesn't know' and that he (midnighter) did his part. that it was time to come back to stormwatch and him. also, to let the guy go.
midnighter does exactly that by allowing him to fall which andrew– sorry, apollo states he has to go catch him which midnighter agrees and says 'you know i'll be gone by the time you get back'. page ends with apollo flying down to catch the falling guy while calling midnighter 'so. damn. stubborn.'
oh, they still do not understand you, (sun) king. they would not have survived your original self so they had to alter you. shame. unfortunately for those who didn't have the guts to do it, i'm doing it anyways!
so stormwatch/stormwatch prime still exists in my transfer idea but it's the one run by jackson king and christine trelane with the original roster and newer people (winter, fahrenheit, fuji, hellstrike, etc.). what're they doing post-transfer? beats the fuck out of me. someone whose primary focus is stormwatch can go wild with it, i'd love to hear what someone would do.
as for how i would've handled it for apollo and midnighter? whether i have the plot be focused on the original like midnighter or apollo for the god garden, they're still juggling both the 'organ race' of meta bio-weapons in the forms of organs on top of the god garden. knowing them, the god garden was actually probably only present for a single issue as apollo and or midnighter brought it crashing to the ground in an ashen heap.
they would've gone there to interrogate the man regarding the missing meta bio-weapon in the form of 'the heart' crashing somewhere (which midnighter was tracking). midnighter would be dangling the man over the skyscraper and when the man looked at apollo to perhaps convince midnighter not to drop him, he found a smile that was a mix of sympathy and something matching in midnighter's outstretched grin.
when the man is dropped from the building, the two simply talk about the whole dropping a penny from a skyscraper debate while comparing what happens to the penny versus the falling man. they then chat about what they're gonna do for dinner, about what jenny q. and the rest of the authority are up to before they kiss.
a kiss with midnighter clinging to the skyscraper and apollo hovering from the sky, distant text below the building saying something like 'splat' as the man hit the ground.
#dc#dc comics#apollo#midnighter#dick grayson#nightwing#agent grayson#buds.txt#<- yay i get to tag this one for apollo!#no i still will not tag them as andrew pulaski or lucas trent despite me discussing a comic which calls them such.#i'd tag this as wildstorm and the authority but i don't compare it to any of their comics in this post.#this is however the wildstorm versions of apollo and midnighter in my scenarios correlating with my redone wildstorm to dc transfer.#which happens earlier than in canon and jenny quantum helps divert the flashpoint.#this makes it that all the pre-existing characters remain unchanged but that a lot of the characters introduced#in the new 52/rebirth still show like bluebird and signal to name two off the top of my head.#putting actual tags on this because i want my fellow dick grayson fans to enjoy my commentary. because i am also a dick grayson fan.#hope y'all enjoy my reviews on agent grayson including how i would do it plus excessive tagging <3
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we died together, intertwined, literally bleeding into each other, we came back together, in the same drawn breath. we were connected before but now we are as one entity separated by different bodies, our pain, anger, fear and joy shared between us. you cannot separate us, not even with death, we will always come back to each other. we will never leave each other. our very souls intertwined.
#leverage ot3#<- hi i’m being feral#god. absolutely chewing on an au concept#leverage immortality au#this babey can fit everything in it!!!!!!!!!!!!#dying in each others arms. coming back Wrong. immortality. codependency to such an extreme level#oughoufhough ough#also while i was tying this i was like. oh. this is also#joe x nicky#*typing#anyways. anyways. anyways.#my writing#words#YOU BLED IN TO ME AND I BLED INTO YOU AND NOW WE ARE THE SAME
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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Thoughts on transfem Ningguang with a fem!reader whose her bodyguard? Fem!reader whose like a loyal, protective dog out in the world when they're out and about together, but an utter submissive puppy behind closed doors for the Tianquan?
literally shaking like a chihuahua oh what i'd do to be the Tianquan's lap dog..mean femmes are so attractive its like putting my brain in a blender.
It's not surprising the Tianquan has a bodyguard. She's a key political figure in Liyue and anyone aiming to dismantle the carefully curated hierarchy has her at the top of the list. To the public, your just muscle to intimidate the lesser crooks from even thinking about it and deal with those who get too bold.
Behind closed doors, though? Your nothing but the Tianquan's lap dog at her beck and call.
She isn't fond of public displays, but she does like hiding it in public just for the thrill. Knowing you wear your collar under your uniform so you'll always remember who holds your leash is a thrill she can't beat.
She's a bit mean and sadistic, really, but she's the Tianquan. She has the money to spoil you like a good puppy afterwards..so long as you behave and exceed expectations. Whether you lean more dominant or submissive doesn't matter, since you'll probably be subbing whether your top or bottom. It's a different kind of thrill to make you sit on her lap, stuffed full of her cock, while she works. That or she has you under her desk, one hand fisted in your hair while she uses your mouth instead.
She has to be at the top of her game, after all, and her position is a stressful one. What better way to de-stress then to put her little puppy to good use? You're just so pliant when she orders you on your knees.
She keeps it tame if thats more your thing, but if you give her the go ahead she will buy you muzzles. Some just the standard muzzle, others with gags, plenty of collars and leashes for all sorts of occasions..she might even get you faux ears and a tail just for a little finishing touch.
She's just as big on aftercare, though. She puts her money to good use spoiling you, partially because she knows she can get a little rough with you. That and as much as she likes to call you her puppy, she won't have you smelling like a wet dog. Get in the bath.
You won't stay clean for long, especially because she absolutely goes all out on her tub so it's more then big enough for some extra activities, but it's better then nothing.
Sometimes, though, she just needs to be pampered herself. She adores body worship after a particularly stressful day. Just lounging in half tied silk while you worship every inch of her.
And if anyone notices you limping the morning after..they say nothing. They just chalk it up to a fight with some assassin or similar. And if they do know, they know better then to bring it up.
Bonus for being shared with Beidou when she drops by Liyue harbor. Nothing like a rowdy pirate to shake things up and make a mess of you on the Tianquan's bed while she watches.
#asks#Anonymous#minors dni#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#ningguang#ningguang smut#beidou was my og main does that say anything abt me. i was shaking like a leaf when i saw miss ningguang like h#mean femmes r literally so hot it rots my brain. i love u mean femmes mwah#sorry i see an ask abt any femmes and my brain stops working :(#oh right erm#fem reader#anyway miss ningguang using reader for her pleasure...........#treating you like a glorified toy#falls down a flight of stairs#obligatory mention that she will absolutely tie reader up. but shes extra abt it#shibari. weirdest edging session ever she spends like 1h tying reader up#i think she'd also be into wax play. tying you up and putting a muzzle+gag on you while she drips wax onto you..#g-d damn it i got carried away in the tags AGAIN free me#i am a chronic yapper#obligatory beidou mention btw. frequently bought together do not seperate#also did i answer this MONTHS later? yeah. um. coughs.
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the major arcana, shuffled: 4/??
THE HIGH PRIESTESS; ⤉ spirituality, higher power, mystery, subconscious ⤈ hidden motives, secrets, repressed intuition, cognitive dissonance THE EMPRESS; ⤉ motherhood, femininity, nurturing, harmony ⤈ smothering, negligence, lack of growth, insecurity THE EMPEROR; ⤉ fatherhood, structure, authority, control ⤈ tyranny, domination, recklessness, rigidity
#oh boy a 3 for 1 deal!!!#ty to fheythfully for your portrait tutorial!! :D#my game crashed when i was making this and i was about ready to pass away#the idea for this was 'haunted family paintings' with a dash of dorian gray#i intentionally fucked up the facial expressions with crimes & used photoshop filters to achieve the decaying effect of the reverse#for the people who don't know the tatlongharis (aka paris' maternal family via andromache):#the priestess is their aunt cassandra / the empress is their grandma hecuba / the emperor is their grandad priam#paris never met their grandma because she died way before paris was born#how did she die? priam accidentally caused her death but she (and cassandra) predicted she would die b/c they have the echo#so there you go :)#also i tried to match the crowns to the card names but i don't think i got close lol#body horror cw#just in case#notice how hecuba's face is all mangled while priam's flesh is wasting away. like the rotten corpse he is#as per usual flip your phone around to see the reverse sides#mygposes.#ffxiv:tma#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur
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Making myself cry on my reread of tda noticing how obvious it is in every other character's POV that ty is drawn to kit and kit's presence is obviously calming/reassuring to ty and then thinking about how kit just like does not see it and thinks he has to be serving some purpose for ty to want him around 😭
WTF IS WITH EVERYONE ON THIS APP COMING FOR ME
DO I NOT SUFFER ENOUGH????? I'M A KITTY STAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I HAVE ENOUGH PAIN IN MY LIFE ALREADY WHY ARE YOU REMINDING ME?????????????????
but on a more serious note (lolsies), i just love love love that in tda you can see how ty needs kit so much and always (and i mean always) wants him around. but kit is just too blind to see it bc he's got it in his head that no one could ever truly love him and it makes them that much more heartbreaking, bc they both love each other so freaking much but don't see that their feelings are like insanely requited (those fools)
#it's so crazy to think that ty will actually be expressing all of this in twp tho#like wdym we will see an officially requiting kit's feelings ty??????#WHAT DO U MEAN????????#like it's one thing being sure that ty feels the same and actually reading about it#like actually imagine that for a moment#[pause]#i am literally speechless#oh wait no im sobbing in my room my bad#ALSO I TOO AM REREADING TDA HELLO#BUT I HAVE TO STOP FOR A WHILE BC OF UNI STUFF WHICH MAKES ME REALLY SAD :(#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#kitty#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#tda#twp#tsc#asks
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okay whatever. anyway ive been watching a ton of yu yu hakusho and im really enjoying it but this is one of those rare occasions where you HAVE to watch the dub like fr if you understand english please go for the dub. its not just yusuke lol every single character has managed to deliver a line so funny that ive wanted to hurl.....also the original has such an iconic/storied cast for 90s anime watchers that i cant watch it without getting jumpscared by 1) luffy or 2) literally every megumi ogata role
#i know ogata mostly as ccs yukito but literally pick an edgy but beautiful 90s guy (and shinji) and it's her voice. i hear shes in jjk now#also luffy as koenma 😭😭😭 for a while if he said smth funny id switch the language so i could hear luffy say it. ty mayumi.#oh the dub VA for botan is doing this like bad transatlantic accent that is SO FUNNY and really perfect for the role#yyh#yu yu hakusho
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Points at you. 10 and/or 11 for starstruck?
Two starstruck asks,,,,,,joy of joys,,
Part of an ask game linked here.
#10. What's an au you have for them?
Since them meeting at all is technically an AU i have 3 different ways that they do meet up. There's the one where Juniper ends up with the agency/adjacent to and ends up working with Reggie (have written a fic with this). The next one is Juniper surviving but basically going stealth and living as normal of a life as he can and ending up meeting Reggie through chance (most recent fic I've written). And then there's my personal favourite where Reginald "You're lucky my tracking skills are still up to snuff" Crane keeping himself busy after Phoenix was MIA and finding Juniper still alive (fic I want to write but haven't started mainly because it may end up multi chapter).
In terms of more AU canon bending taking them and putting them in a completely unrelated situation...I have a guilty pleasure Warrior Cats AU for IEYTD in general. Both JJ and Reggie have perfect warrior cats suffixes in their names already (Juniper and Crane) so they're called Junipersong (charcoal bengal) and Craneflight (tabby Norwegian forest cat). It's very silly but the amount of scenes I have in my mind for it...good lord...
#11. How was their first kiss like?
Augh my friend Imp wrote an absolutely excellent fic about it (tragically in the realm of unfinished Google docs) and I'm shaking their hand about it so hard. Basically Juniper kissing Reggie but he like wasn't ready/fully expecting it and Juniper absolutely panicking because he thinks he's misread every interaction between them both since they got closer. The second one is much sweeter though,,
#realised i phrased all the fics ive written like those ghosts that haunted scrooge#ah yes the fic of starstuck past#the fic of starstruck present and the fic of starstruck yet to come. it's so dumb#and uhh for the warrior cats thing um. of course they aren't purebreds minus Juniper who used to be a kittypet (housecat) but -#- it was moreso for easy description#reggie is fluffy but he's not quite maine coonf fluffy...norwegan forest cat was a nice middle ground...still gets big guy points too#also um side note roxanix in that au um. they adopted a kit as a stand in for robutler in that au......#also solaris is a VERY grumpy warrior turned medicine cat annnnd thats about all I have fully hashed out in my mind for it so far#im so torn abt also having triple threat.....extra large polycule where phoenix is just intimidated by the others prism is dating lmao#ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT THE WARRIOR CATS AU#can you tell I have a special interest in cats/warrior cats. oh how I miss drawing cats. but I must learn people. for the brainworms...ouuu#i don't have much else to say on that second question other than....AUUUUUUGH they're so. there's so much pent up stuff.#like for JJ it's the first time he's let himself actually love another man the way he wants to while for Reggie it's a lot of -#- realising JJ is trying to be a better person while still ackowleging the fact that he did bad??? basically second chance yada yada#man. i love these two#ik im a broken ass reccord but I've never proactively posted abt them outside the last couple months and it's been so theraputic#ty for the ask it was fun :3c#ieytd#starstruck#junicrane#ask game#not tagging them specifically I don't wanna clog up tags too much#god WHY do i have such an issue eith that. mental issue. anyways
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#veilguard mods#veilguard#dav modding#oh oh oh its working!#laggy as hell tho ;/#don't think i can play like that with my migraines :/#maybe i can work on fave outifts retextures while waiting for tool to be more stable?#also#this outfit has elven mosaic texture that i didnt see before#ty violadesdragons for info!#and pinkydude for tut
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they rejected my application :(
#i mean i knew that they were going to. i literally do not have the degree they want#but sometimes it feels as if people in this field don't take me seriously because im young lol#like they assume that my experience just Does Not Apply because im not in my 40s#its fine. i never told anyone irl i applied for the job so i don't have to worry about that (ty past me) (i almost said it like 10 times)#when the time comes for me to REALLY start job hunting ill start taking rejections more personally but this was a good experience i think#them giving me a rejection at all and not just ghosting me was actually a huge relief tbh#am i supposed to respond to the rejection email? i guess i will?#dont burn your bridges etc#it feels a little weird saying ty for the opportunity when they didn't even interview me#but this whole corporate bullshit is just empty tradition at this point so whatever#anyway the GOOD news is that my really big name reference told my current boss (as a joke but still) that he wanted to steal me from her#he works for the state which would be an INCREDIBLE opportunity if he was in any way serious#so when the time comes ill be casually mentioning to him that im job hunting and we'll see where it goes#literally every conference ive been to people know his name and ask where he is so im hoping he will have enough pull to let a fresh grad in#two different people (both also rather big names in the field) have told me that he thinks really highly of me#and while working with him was a little bit like pulling teeth i don't really have the option to be choosy rn lol#anyways. im disappointed but not surprised#it was a remote position too :( oh well
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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If your "Sorry pancreatic cancer but i don't think you qualify as an emotion
This is bullshit you let jimmy urine in
Yelling slurs is an important step in a persons life how about you read a fucking book" post were a pokemon, it would be a pokemon.
KCMSJKLXMJKDVN?? hwhjhaha???? help what im sorry wha=g
#losing it#asks#also pokenon while ur here can u assign a pokemon 2 uhhhh/. fuck what was it again i forgot. OH YEAH the album EURINGER#tldr its like a very genuine stream of thought sound with heavy reliance on transitions and songs tying into eachother#its about jimmys personal struggles and experience as a musician and the album loops which could be to represent a cycle#of making art just to be torn down 4 it . also the album covers Red#ok thats it thanks
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good morning everyone!!
#🧚🏽♀️ — luxe chit chat#im finishing golden wind today!#im gonna do blog maintenance while i watch hehe#btw every time i rewatch golden wind im like holy SHIT this is SO good#oh also ty everyone for the love on my toxic!megumi fic!!#it rly means a lot ur all so sweet#i think i might work on my requests today too :3#i want to play sims but u know when u just cant get into sims???#like i load it up and then im like ugghhh not feelin it#but i WANT to play grrrr#so yea anyway since im not playing sims i can start working on requests#i hope ur all having good days n nights mwah mwah <3
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On the one hand, I've been in bed sick since Friday. On the other hand, I finished two books this weekend, which is nice?
Lmao I just checked the time stamps and I started Nona The Ninth at 5pm Saturday and finished it at 3am Sunday morning, so that's less than 12 hours start to finish xD
I also finished a reread of Network Effect for like the third time, which is a delight as always
#next up is finishing Witch King and Stars Hide Your Fires#and then i will no longer have 4 separate library books ticking down in my phone lmao#we are also 2 hours from the end of book 5 in the Apollo series!!!!!!!!#(me and my sister have listened to the entire series while driving places haha)#it is EXTREMELY good and feels like a return to the style of the original pjato series and all pjato fans should read it please and ty#and then WRITE ME FIC ABOUT APOLLO HANGING OUT WITH HIS KIDS!!!!#oh wait the MOST important part of finishing apollo is that then i get to read the Will/Nico book!!!!! hype!!!!!!!!#lori chat
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do you have a les mis fic rec list 👀
yeah i am somehow able to make one which is insane bc i usually don't even read fic. the only time ive ever read this much fic before was when i was into atla which like. that was a hyperfixation strong enough to get me onto this website. exr has such an effect on me... (and yeah almost all of this is gonna be exr. naturally)
i assume you've read or at least heard of world ain't ready, but i'd be remiss not to mention it! the thing with this fic is that it's the ultimate exception to every preference i tend to have with exr fic—it's a modern au, it ends with them having a good, loving, requited, healthy relationship (and with them being alive), and it's often cheesy in a very fanfic way. and so i was really not expecting to enjoy it nearly as much as i did. like, i really really loved it. it's genuinely quite well-written with compelling characterizations and it really does an amazing job of fulfilling the need i sometimes have for them to just. be happy and alive and loving each other. it's possibly the fic i spend the most time thinking about.
the other long fic that i've been really into (i'd say it's probably my favorite les mis fic i've read) is beautiful & good. it starts off slow, but i promise the buildup is worth it. i really love the way in which their relationship is developed throughout—it always feels realistic, in character, and interesting. and it's just so enjoyable to read (and often very funny!), and there's always something new (or many things) that makes me go insane every chapter. it also is the most interesting fic i've read when it comes to them having sex & their characterizations wrt it. actually, the thing that compelled me to read this fic in the first place was a friend telling me that, at one point in it, enjolras says that penatrative sex isn't egalitarian. i really love when they're so insane....
i've actually read all of that author's les mis fics, and i don't remember there being a single one i disliked. but some favorites include epiphanies (woah crazy another modern au), the pursuit of light (the token non-exr fic on this list woah), in lutetia, and the loves of les amis.
another favorite is, of course, ta bouche de ciel by my bestie lucy @jondrettegirls <3. there are lots of things i love about it (which makes sense, like lucy and i are friends in part bc we have such similar tastes w this kind of thing) but one way in which it stands out is that it's the only fic i can think of that i've read that has examination of the concept of beauty as it relates to both normative cultural ideals and to exr as a prevalent theme.
and some other shorter fics i've really liked include thorns and all (which i found bc i was curiously looking through the exr hanahaki tag. this was the only one in it that i particularly enjoyed and oh my god. parts of it made me so insane), put to the sword (among other things in this fic, i love how weird r is about spirituality! just like me fr), and into the light (which is as close as any fic comes to being My ExR Canon tbh).
hope you enjoy!
#woah that got longer than i intended. idt ive ever made a fic recs post before actually like by the time ppl started asking me for them on#sgk it'd been a while since i'd read much atla fic (& i'd decided that i disiked a bunch that i formerly enjoyed lol. but i think my taste#is more refined now to the point that i dont think i'll change my mind on the les mis fics i like any time soon.....#asks#anon#les mis#also it was sooo funny going through my ao3 history for this and seeing that before i started reading exr the most recent time i'd used ao3#was in early february. and before that it was last november...#and even then it was not regular at all lol#also ty for this ask for getting me to reread into the light#i hadnt read it since really shortly after getting into exr. and oh my god its sooooooo......
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