#also whats it like being an extrovert
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the only thing scarier than vampire lords/mind flayers/death cults is meeting the in-laws
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#tavstarion#i feel like he’s good at schmoozing but i’m not sure how much he would actually Enjoy it#he gives me extroverted introvert#being surrounded by a few hundred very pretty wood elves for a weekend is probably quite nice though#he might have a bitch sesh with dorian’s sisters#also i will keep making his outfits cuntier if it kills me#what’s that post about how wyll is the only character you could realistically bring home without disaster
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
You ever think about how Ryne probably got a more honest yet closed-off Thancred while Minfilia got a more disingenuine yet open Thancred?
Like, the Thancred Minfilia knew and grew up with was the one we saw in arr, the flirty, teasing and sassy but friendly man who was clearly not very honest seeing as no one- not even Minfilia- noticed how worn out he was from his constant work. Even just by hw he's noticably more prickly and. not quite rude but. more outwardly cynical? He's always been kinda cynical, but in arr his teasing and banter hides it well, which never disappears but is more. natural? genuine? now. Krile directly points out that he's much more brusque than she expected of him based on how Minfilia described him.
And sure, you could attribute that behaviour to his grief and stress (which is certainly a part of it) but considering he acts much the same in ew, when he's finally moved on and come to terms with everything (and is also post-shb character development), I think it's safe to say that this is the most honest we've seen Thancred be.
But this is all Ryne has known him to be. She's never seen Thancred be flirtatious or as social and friendly as he is in arr, she's only seen him be brusque and cynical but still teasing and kind. But he's also far more closed off from her (and others) bc of That Whole Deal going on. Urianger has told her more about Thancred's true feelings than Thancred himself has. and even that's not a lot, for Urianger is not only not a mind reader and doesn't know everything that goes on on Thancred's head, but also is reluctant to share more than is necessary since it's not his place to divulge these things (and also he himself is not free from the folly of emotional self-isolation).
With Minfilia though, he's open enough that she's never doubted that he cared for and loved her even when he couldn't spend much time with her, and she felt comfortable enough to admonish him when he did his usual self-destructive behaviour (you know, becoming an alchoholic at 17 and All That Entails)
Just. food for thought
#theres a lot of these parallels between ryne & minfilia in regards to their relationship with thancred#like. the way things are so similar yet so *different* from each other#same same but opposite ya know#like how thancred blames himself for warburtons death and by extention minfilia being orphaned even tho it was in no way his fault#vs how he knowingly took ryne away from ran'jit bc he knew that whatever other life shed live would be better than what she had#when minfilia first experienced the echo thancred knew wat it was but didnt tell her (for circle of knowing related reasons)#whereas he told ryne everything he could in regards to her powers and circumstances#he gifted minfilia her dagger for self-defense but never taught her how to fight#but ryne was not only gifted daggers by him but also taught how to properly fight and fend for herself with them#and he trusted minfilia in the main care of f'lhaminn while he took a more secondary support role#but he assigned himself the primary caretaker for ryne while the others (read: urianger) became secondary ones#(granted due to rynes situation he kinda had no other choice at the time)#(but im sure he wouldve taken the same role even if he could theoretically have safely handed her over to someone else)#also just to be clear thancred IS genuinely social and friendly even hw & up#just not as extroverted#he spends a lot of time either by himself or with fellow scions/other close companions#rather than with whatever lady hes trynna impress next#anyway. yet another day of being Completelt Normal about this complicated family situation#thancred waters#ryne waters#minfilia warde#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne
162 notes
·
View notes
Text
#was just thinking abt the concept of lonliness#i have never?? felt it???#i dont even really understand what it would feel like#and i assume there's at least some correlation if not causation between that and being an introvert#but im curious just how common it is and also how ambiverts/extroverts compare#like is lonliness a Universal Human Experience and im just a Special Snowflake or is it one of those hashtag justintroverthings#rollie pollies#my pollies#loneliness poll#this has been an original post
304 notes
·
View notes
Text
ester on the brainnnnnn (he/she for the character!!)
#these are lowkey old#i drew these sketches in june in preparations for artfight#just additional outfits and expressions and stuff#I dont really do things like that often but i think i should. it's so fun playing with expressions and fits#and about ester.. i wrote her to be a mysterious character who doesnt talk about herself much#but it's not like oooh he's mysterious because he's quiet ooooohhh because he's shy#no it's more like. she is such an extrovert and likes talking and gossiping with people#and is always very vocal about political and social issues you can talk with her about literally everything!!!#but when you think about him and what you know about his personal life literally nothing comes to mind#and you realise he never really tells you anything about himself despite being so outgoing and talkative#also he's a serial complainer. lol#she'll always find something to nitpick on#also a funfact he is my oldest oc ive had him since i was like 12#my art#original character#oc#drawing#digital art#sketch#oc sketches#facial expressions#dycha za zbycha
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thank god Sasha was confirmed bisexual, otherwise people would hc her as lesbian solely and exclusively because she's kind of a bitch.
#like it's a stereotype at this point. happy bubbly character HC'd as bi or pan. weird almost alien-esque character HC'd as ace/aro/aroace#skinny depressed sadboi man HC'd as gay. physically stronger taller and more extroverted and confident man HC'd as bisexual#and of course. mean bitch HC'd as a lesbian#i really don't get the ''nice fun and bubbly = bisexual'' stereotype at all#like what does it meannnnn#is it meant to represent how they're more ''open'' to ''more people''??#and lesbians being mean represents ?? idk that they're more ''closed''?#also see how the fanon male gay characters are usually like sad delicate flowers that must be protected and fanon lesbians are#just more ''rough'' somewhat. or at least closed off and cold or distant somehow#''frigid'' is the word that comes to my mind (yikes)#btw I LOVE that Anne and Marcy are characterized as lesbians a lot of the time in this fandom#since they're definitely much more ''soft'' and like cutesy and sweet than big mean Sasha#i love lesbian Anne (extroverted. confident. likes playing matchmaker. super super social. local jock. quite girly when she has the chance)#and I love lesbian Marcy (soft adorable bubbly girl. surprisingly extroverted. VERY hyper. vv energetic. adorable n precious cinnamon roll)#i kinda like the idea of aroace Marcy as someone who clings to her friends so desperately because she sees them drifting away from her#and priorizing other types of relationships (romantic bonds) while she's left alone because THEY were her everything#and she gave her whole heart to them#but they never gave their hearts to her because they were waiting for someone else to give them to. a romantic partner.#something marcy could never be#but I also feel like sometimes the ''weird girl'' thing might give off alien vibes somehow (?) like she just clearly doesn't belong in this#in this world she doesn't belong to this species she doesn't experience what most humans experience#i have mixed feelings on aroace marcy but tbh i don't care enough to like. complain about people who see her that way lol#though I admit I prefer lesbian Marcy a lot more#my posts#btw one hc i really do adore is trans girl Anne. idk if it's ''too stereotypical'' in relation to her like about who she sees in the mirror#i find it so soft and sweet. how she learns to love herself. how she forms a sense of self. trans girl anne my absolute precious#amphibia
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
the heist!mark brainrot is consuming me…, just imagine mark n the viewer meeting for the first time as little kids to shoplift candy or smth together ��﹏╥
the (brain)rot consumes!! I can relate
my dear anon... LISTEN. I am a big advocate for childhood friends captaineer, it's one of my favourite headcanons, but a childhood friends AU for the heist partners? that's something I hadn't considered until now. and it's adorable. I had to write something for it asap because I was INSPIRED. I hope you enjoy💖 thanks for sparking the idea!
Heist!Mark x reader (not explicitly romantic at all it's more about the friendship in this one) | Words: 1,317
You are in the kitchen of your shared home base, unloading the groceries your heist partner has just bought, when you pick up a bag of sour candies, smiling quietly to yourself. He's always been a fan of them.
Turning the packet in your hands, an old memory drifts to the surface of your mind:
You don't remember exactly how long ago it was, but you couldn't have been much older than maybe ten.
Your father was busy working, and had reluctantly sent you to the store with a small list after you insisted you could handle it on your own.
You slipped the folded piece of paper out of your school bag and scanned the list of items. At the bottom was a note that read, ‘Remember to stay hydrated, kiddo! :)’
You walked around the supermarket collecting the few things on your list and placed them in your trolley. On your way to the checkout, you passed through the candy aisle and slowed to eye the products on display.
‘Aren't you going to get anything?’
Your head perked up, shocked at the sudden voice addressing you.
There was a boy next to you with dark hair, looking at you inquisitively. He seemed to be about your age. He might have even been slightly shorter than you.
You must have been standing here for longer than you realised if it had prompted him to ask you about it.
You shook your head.
‘Why not?’
‘Oh, um. My dad only gave me enough money for what we need,’ you said timidly, showing him the list.
‘Ohh, that's too bad.’ Then, a small yet undeniably mischievous smile appeared on his face. He glanced discreetly up and down the aisle. ‘You know you can just — ’ and he took one of the small packets of candy off the shelf and slipped it swiftly into his pocket.
Your eyes went wide, stunned. Both from the fact that he was suggesting you steal, and at the speed and subtly with which he'd enacted the crime, as if he'd done it dozens of times before, if not more.
‘What are you doing?’ you spoke in a harsh whisper.
‘It's no big deal,’ he said in a lower voice than before, but one that still felt entirely too loud. He slipped another bag into his pocket.
You did not want to associate with this boy any longer.
You pushed your trolley away and towards the checkout, handing your items to the cashier.
You were unhappy to find the boy waiting for you when you exited the store, shopping bag in your hand.
‘What do you want?’ you asked, a little standoffishly, frowning at him.
‘There's no need to be rude,’ he said with a small pout. ‘Y'know, I think I might have seen you at school a few times.’
To your dismay, he followed along as you started walking home. When you pressed him, he simply said, ‘Hey, I'm not following you! I live down this way too, I promise!’
As the two of you walked, he chatted annoyingly by your side. What was more annoying was that you found you didn't mind his presence. You were a quiet kid and you didn't have many friends. Having someone to walk home with you was kind of a nice change of pace.
Just as you thought this, though, you immediately chided yourself mentally. You and him were not friends. You weren't going to be friends. This boy was a criminal and he wasn't even sorry about it.
You frowned in thought.
Oh no, what if he got caught? What if you went to juvenile jail for being an accomplice to theft? What would Dad say? What would Mom say? What if—’
‘Hey, are you listening to me? You haven't responded to anything I'm saying.’
You simply sighed as he pulled you out of your thoughts.
‘Are you still mad about the candy? I told you it's not a big deal.’
You stopped as you realised you were approaching your front door. The journey seemed to have gone a little faster than usual.
‘Really?’ you finally replied in an exasperated tone. ‘That was no big deal for you? That was stealing. Stealing is wrong.’ You couldn't believe you had to spell it out to him.
‘They won't notice a couple tiny bags of candy are gone. My mom says big companies that own supermarkets are greedy. They make loads of money anyway and don't pay enough taxes.’
‘Does your mom know you're a thief?’
‘W- well, no, but-’
‘That’s what I thought.’
He looked a little disheartened.
‘Please don't tell anyone. I'm sorry if I upset you,’ he said quietly, looking down.
You hadn't really expected an apology from someone like him. You sighed again.
‘I won't tell, but don't expect me to just go along with it. And don't act like we're best buds all of a sudden. We don't know each other. You don't even know my name!’
‘Well, what's your name?’
You gave him a slightly surprised look before telling him your name, albeit hesitantly.
‘Look, I have to get going now…’
You fumbled with the shopping bag as you reached into your coat pocket, feeling for the house key, when you suddenly felt something that wasn't there before. It made a crinkling sound beneath your touch.
‘You didn't.’ You pulled the candy out of your pocket. ‘When did you—?’
The boy grinned at you.
‘I thought you could have one of mine.’
‘I don't want your stolen candy!’
‘Judging by how you looked at it earlier, I think you do. And besides, stolen treats taste better!’ he called out, already walking away.
‘Wh- SHH!’ You hoped none of your neighbours had heard.
‘I'm Mark by the way! See ya, buddy!’
You stood outside the front door, dumbfounded.
Finally you let yourself in. Your dad wouldn't be home yet for a while.
You put the shopping away and sat down at your kitchen table, staring at the stolen goods in front of you.
You could try to put it back but… that would be more suspicious.
You figured, the deed had been done. There was nothing you could do now, so you may as well make the most of it.
You tore the edge of the packet and popped one of the candies in your mouth, savouring the sweet and sour combination on your tongue.
Maybe Mark was right. It did taste extra good. But maybe it was just because you'd been craving it.
What a weird kid.
‘Stealing is wrong, huh…?’ you mumble under your breath. You look down at the candy in your hands. It's not the same brand as the one from back then, but you imagine it tastes more or less the same, from what you remember.
Present day Mark is the one to pull you out of your musings.
‘Hey, what's with that face you're making? I know that look, buddy. Are you contemplating your life choices??’
You chuckle softly.
‘Just… got reminded of something. I suppose I got lost in nostalgia for a moment.’
‘Oh yeah? Penny for your thoughts?’
You turn and smile at him.
‘This just made me think of an annoying little boy stealing candy from a supermarket. And his reluctant acquaintance who ended up getting dragged into his antics for the foreseeable future.’
It takes a second for it to click.
‘Ohhhhh.’ You watch as realisation turns to him smiling fondly at the memories, which turns to him snapping his attention to you with a fake-offended look.
You laugh at his expression.
‘Wait, hey! Annoying?!’
‘Mhm.’
‘Excuse you, I was a wonderful, sweet and positively charming child.’
Your laughter rings out in the kitchen, full of mirth, and he shakes his head at you with a familiar lopsided grin, and you are so grateful for the cheeky little boy who approached you that day.
#feels kinda weird calling it candy instead of sweets. but I did it bc they presumably live in america#I'm working on at least two other fics rn but I had to stop everything to write this#I finally submitted a uni thing I've been doing for a while so I felt like I deserved a break#and I sat down and wrote majority of this in one sitting lmao#lmao it ended up being my longest fic to date??? WHAT THE HECK?!#BTW AGAIN. NOT ENCOURAGING STEALING THAT'S BAD DON'T DO IT#also yes y/n's dad is the one the only stan the water man#I hc stan to have been the captain's actual dad so I just went 'wth why not in this universe too?'#I really enjoyed this one#thank you again anon#also. I looked up pictures of young markiplier out of curiosity and to get into the headspace Ig/get a mental image for this#and guys. I highly encourage you to do the same.#HE WAS SUCH A LITTLE GUY🥺#and he looked as cheeky and mischievous as he often does now lolol#that also inspired parts of this haha#I tried to write a young heist!mark in a way that I think? would make sense for him#bit of a kleptomaniac maybe lol#and possibly more seemingly extroverted than I wanted but I had to kick off the interaction somehow#amee writes#a heist with markiplier#ahwm#partners in crime#heist mark x y/n#heist mark x reader#heist mark#markiplier egos#markiplier cu#asks#anonymous#requests
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I went from a shitty job I found on the internet, which I took because nothing else responded, to several companies flinging job opportunities at me
I'm genuinely proud of myself for being able to turn my fate to the best. Two years ago this would've been just daydreaming. Fuck even getting payed as much as I was getting at that shitty job would've been daydreaming!
let it be a reminder to you too. no matter how shitty your life is right now,you can do something about that,you can change that even if it doesn't look like it or you don't believe it. You can survive and thrive even in the worst of conditions and I know that!
If you don't believe in yourself then I will and you better know that🫵💥
#I may be introverted but man can I network like a motherfucker#or well 'network' it's mostly just me standing around and the extrovert being attracted to my presence like a moth to the flame#also it does give you a sorta ego boost when the founder of one of the three biggest companies in the area you wanna work in wants to#personally recommend you#like goddamn oke#it became somewhat obvious what he wanted me to apply as during the lecture#godoframbles#work#job#jobs
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
why are these the same couple
#ok. like. guess which ship im talking about here:#Guy is calm and logical but also very obviously deeply traumatized. Autistic/autistic coded and has a lot of friends despite audiences#assuming he’s gonna be an outcast. Also trans/trans coded. introverted but genuinely cares about the people around him and displays#incredible kindness for everyone even though he is low empathy and comes across as an asshole sometimes. very selfless.#Girl(?) is genuinely unhinged and also clearly traumatized. Autistic coded too but its less obvious to audiences. worshipped for her#looks. not really treated like a person or respected at all. obsessed with appearing perfect because thats what everyone expects of her.#extroverted but not really. empathetic and nice but struggles with being earnestly selfless sometimes.#they work as a couple because the guy doesn’t really care what she looks like and just treats her like anyone else would#and she is allowed to actually be herself and unwind around him. which in return makes him start genuinely enjoying her as a close friend.#and they end up being one of the only people who understands the other.#guess. guess which one im describing.#abedison#saiteru
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yet again overjoyed at how normal Orion seems compared to Tristan. Like yes this is a well adjusted man who was raised in a friendly and loving home and makes rational and good decisions. Haha why do u ask. Haha. (: don't look in the closet haha. (:
#🌌oc tag: orion🌌#And the thing is ITS ALL TRUE#HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WELL ADJUSTED AND OKAY#BUT NOOO#My boy <3#He's so extroverted and happy and sweet and friendly and normal and well adjusted and. Wait is that a knife he had WHY DOES HE HAVE A#<- plot of star#(I'm simplifying it a lot)#Tristan also has a knife tho. He's just more stabby and less existential about his#Seriously tho he's such a nice normal dude who freezes up completely the moment he sees a corpse of suicide which he should have seen#Hundreds of times before like ofc he's seen them it's the apocalypse#And he's so extroverted and friendly and if you ask him about his past or if he accidentally mentions [redacted] he skips like a broken#Record and ignores that he said anything about anything#He's so normal at the beginning and I just love making him spiral out of his mind as being with Tristan forces him to confront some shit#Like yeah Tristan is fucked up and he's been through fucked up shit and he makes thst pretty clear. No bullshit with him#And Orion is just layers and layers of this precariously balanced lie he's built himself about who he is and what he's seen and his future#So while tristan's breakdowns are predictable and painful they just feel tragic and inevitable#Orion comes crashing down like the fucking twin towers#There are signs!! But my boy goes from like. 3 to 100 VERY fast#Anyways I love him
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so crazy right now, someone help me
#(☆) 。.゚��� Victor Grantz#(♡) 。.゚— eli clark#LOOK AT MY BROTHER HE IS SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM LOOK LOOK#PATS HIS HEAD WIWIIWIWW#qnd and and#eli. eli uhm he. he was so sweet with Victor when he arrives to the manor...#everytime someone is new to the manor he is always the first one to look out for them no matter what#trying to make everyone feel comfortable and listen to them...#aough he is so sweet#eli is so nice and handsome I'm gonna die soon#but seeing him and Victor together it just AOIUGJHHGHGHHG#I'M CRYING SO HARD I'M CRYING SO HARD RN#Victor is so nervous around new people and just introvert in general#imagine Eli being so nice to him and then he tells Valentine about this guy who was nice to him ough#or Valentine telling Vic about Eli and he is just calm because he knows Eli is a cool guy#I THINK VIC IS LIKE. TOO SHY TO TALK TO HIM BUT STILL THINKS HE IS COOL AND HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HIM HE JUST#I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN#maybe he would like to be close to him and be friends but he is too shy wiwiwi#valentine going to him with Eli like LOOK LOOK THIS IS MY BROTHER#AND MAKES THEM SHAKE HANDS#and Victor looks at Valentine like mmm mhmmmm 👀 he already knows man#maybe the first months Valentine talked about Eli he didn't pay much attention to it but he was happy he had a friend#also because outside the manor#even when Valentine is so kind to everyone and extrovert. he didn't any real friends since he was focused on college#(when he was in college) and then always busy at the train station#I have so many things in my mind oughh#I love how Eli looks when he smiles#ALSO. LOOK AT ANDY AND VIC AOUGHHH#I ALREADY REACH THE LIMIT DOR TAGS HELOME#🕳️ // blah blah
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
cookies sad hour whining hour ignore me (<- actually loves attention)
#i'm sad because i wish people would message me first more#i'm always the person who messages first#but when other people send me messages it makes me feel like oh you actually like talking to me and wanted to reach out and talk to me and#are giving me attention without me messaging first#i am a person who needs a lot of attention#and i don't mind asking for it bc i'm the kind of person who says what i want and need#but i get really sad at it sometimes because#when i'm feeling depressed or anxious then i isolate myself and if other people were to reach out to me first more then it would be less#likely to happen#like i even just want people to check in on me every now and then. ask me how i'm feeling if i've mentioned going through a depressive#episode#or whatever mental troubles#idk why i'm feeling so emotional about this suddenly#like i don't mind messaging people first but i guess when it comes to me struggling badly then i WISH people would message me to ask me#how i'm doing#@ all my friends reading this i am not upset at anyone at all btw i'm just lamenting about being a mentally ill extrovert#almost no one messages me first which is whatever cuz i'm chatty and used to initiating conversations but i guess it also makes me sad#i dont ask people to because i'm not about to force people to be doing something that is uncomfortable for them#i do ask people to check in on me though if they know i'm having an episode#idk if it rly happens though#i just sometimes fear that if i stopped pulling my weight in relationships due to a mental health crisis that all of my friendships will di#because i'm the one who initiates everything#again i'm not upset at anyone i'm just lamenting about being a mentally ill extrovert#vent#you can heart this or reply or whatever idc but rbs are off for obvious reasons
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Daily Log 2
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Much less than yesterday, felt sick and sleepy so barely got anything done. It was also warmer inside today.. Very much dreading summer. I still feel like the people who ~~ love warm weather sooo much~~ must also have central heating and air and are able to escape the warmth, or at least have cool airy houses where they can get cross breezes or something.. I just fail to see how ANYONE could enjoy sweating all day because it's like 75F indoors, etc. grrbb,,, the headaches, sleepless sweaty nights, constant physical discomfort, etc. The next few days look cloudy and rainy though so.. yEs.. haha HA
Got a new charger for my old 2004 nokia phone so it actually turns on now, and recorded myself going through the ringtones and games. I might add the footage to a currently not fully edited video of me also looking through other electronics (old phones, turbo twist math, etc.). I love old ringtones actually and if I were rich, I would love to collect old phones specifically just to have a catalogue of what they're like and all of the sounds they contain.
Managed to have a tiny burst of energy and take photos of 3 outfits before my arms and shoulder started hurting and I got too warm.
Sent email to one doctor.
Translated like 3 words for the Avirrekava poem thing I mentioned yesterday. My language document is not organized very well at all so I've kind of lost my flow of working on it. I've heard about people making searchable dictionary type things for their conlangs, so I'd like to look more into that maybe. As well as making a custom font, though I don't know if that's more difficult for syllabaries (so wouldn't be directly linkable to a plain english alphabet keyboard?? eh?). Anyway, I need to finish the tapestry/painting thing/etc. soon though since I have no good place to put it. The canvas is warping a little just laying haphazardly on my closet floor lol.
Made one quick mspaint background image for the next batch of song snippet things for my jokey music youtube.
Edited like 10 minutes of the Giant Worldbuilding Slideshow Project.. couldn't focus on that either since being at the computer today irritated my shoulders and arms.
Notable sights: Saw 6 baby ducks and their parents swimming in a nearby pond!! It's interesting how their colors seem to change so much, and the young ones have the little spots on their back. Not much else, I was not very active lol..
Goals moving forward: Still working on consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit pictures, post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks (I thought I would get it done today, but alas.. I don't even have to do much, just proofread and post it, I just keep having no energy/being preoccupied with other things/hurts to be on computer.. grrr.. I want to continue the story lol >:T).
Notable foods: HAD ASPARAGUS YEaaaaaghhhHHHH!!!!!!!!! Asparagus SQUAD!!!!!!!!!! ... Also a few pieces of smoked gouda with lunch, one of my favorite cheeses.
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#I'm just curious to see if it helps. I know some poeple do diary style stuff or etc. on social media to help with productivity so#worth trying for like a week at least lol#tired and sleepy of being tired and sleepy though. Every day that stuff like chronic health problems or weather or etc.#interfere with me getting stuff done and it's all stuff that I've also had on my todo list for like.. weeks at this point it's like.. oughh#insurmountable tasks ever looming piling upon my shoulderes...#I've been 'supposed to call a lab to shedule blood work' for like a week and a half now and everyday I get the number#out and look at it and just go 'hmm.... sooon...' and then suddenly it's 10pm and I didn't#You Know How It Is Folks. I'm going to write myself a script of exactly what to say and also tape it to my computer screen#Sometimes that helps. lol#I dont' feel like I need a full on caretaker or something at this point but someitmes I do think like.. in a few years with my various#physical and mental issues it would be nice to have a Person Who Functions Normally Socially come visit me like once#every two weeks to help me plan things and make phone calls. Same with creative stuff too though. I bet I'd be doing something creative as#a career by now if I had like. an Assigned Neurotypical Extrovert to network for me and help me navigate things like that bjhbhj#hashtag hermit problems. etc. etc. (not just like 'a little weird and asocial' but like.. 'near complete inability to function in society'#type hermit problems lol..#ANYWAY.. ..#Also fighting the urge to have another personality typing phase. I can feel it creeping up. My 'once every 3 months when I get very#interested in the enneagram and other stuff again' type of thing. distracting myself with worldbuilding paintings instead ghgj#why don't you do a phone call for your blood work first maybe then you can spend 3 hours reading about tritypes or whatever#I have so many interests and hobbies but a handful of Main Ones and they never go away I just seem to take turns with them#Except worldbuilding I think that's always there. Genuinely again.. wish I could find some way to work that into a career. that is the only#thing I could to 1000 hours straight at any time of day under any circumstance. Kidnap me and lock me in a basement and I will be passing#my time thinking about what type of cheese elves make and all the things I'm going to write once I escape captivity ghjhj#EVEYRHTING else though lol.. kind of comes and goes. but can be annoying when it's suddenly the only thing my mind#wants to focus on. BUT yeagh.. ANYWAY... rambling again#daily log
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good news: autistic social and emotional and everything else holiday related burnout is manageable because I can hyper focus on Pokémon scarlet all day since I don’t have classes
Bad news: screen headache and EDS joints make my fingers hurt with the switch if I hold it too long
Good news again: got money so I’m ordering myself either finger braces or compression gloves since my hand joints have gotten worse.
#anyways I’ll post about sv for a bit but I’m going to still take a couple days before I’m like. talking to people again#I’m so extroverted that I sometimes forget I’m still autistic and get that social burnout#and i sometimes feel like I should be able to bounce back even though I know that’s not how that works#I’m so ised to being a daily social person that when I need to leave friends on read for a bit I feel bad#even though I know they understand#there’s also a ‘I’m almost 21 and should be able to deal with it’ feeling but I know that’s just internalized stuff#anyways I’m doing ok though#what I LOVE about tumblr is I can just yell into the void and I don’t have to actually converse#like I’m letting everyone know how I’m doing without it being a conversation#which is the autistic dream tbh#maybe that’s why there’s a billion of us here
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wild being called shy because I guess I technically am but also release me into the supermarket and half of the time I can get at least 2 phone numbers and make the cashier laugh
#ghost posts#like I’m insecure and anxious and worried about what people think of me#but also I want to talk to people so bad I’m twitching#but if I do talk to people I’m shaking lol#being an extrovert with anxiety gives me a similar sensation to watching a thriller movie#like I’m having trouble breathing but I must continue
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Besides from having narrowly avoided being 4k in debt, this is kinda crazy but it's been 3 days since my new quarter started and a handful of people have already become emotionally attached to me for whatever reason
#yeah this is kind of insane i had like 1 conversation with these people and suddenly i am someones bestie#one of my housemates is known for being really grumpy like she does not even want to introduce herself💀 and everyone in my apt is scared#but i decided to say hi and like 5 secs later i have her life story uh#ppl in my classes r wild tho bc i say hi and i sit next to them once and suddenly wherever i go in class i am followed😭? separation anxiety#its crazy bc ppl start acting overly familiar with me after 1 convo and im like man i didnt know we were close like that but now we r ig#also besides from that ive been approached by completely random strangers like 5 times outside of class .#what is this some sort of social simulator 😭😭😭 im not even an extrovert 😭😭 man i wish that translated in my otome games tho💀#in conclusion. lesbian rizz idk
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
having some time alone in the hotel this week (which is abt to end bc we’re moving back home tmrrw even though the renovation isn’t finished 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪) and being able to have the bedroom to myself has made me think rebellious thoughts my family would be very offended over. like maybe i listened to less and less music these last few years due in part to the fact that ive spentmore time at home than i used to and i also lived on campus w roommates in a very uncomfortable arrangement and im unable to move freely about the cabin when im living w other ppl whose needs don’t align w mine and so ive just gotten used to not having all of my needs met and always being the person to take the short end of the stick…. but i actually need to be able to sing and dance and draw and do whatever and when im alone (which is almost never) im able to do that and that’s actually legit and as important as anyone else’s needs in a space i share w them. idk if i worded that well but yeah
#like yes it’s definitely that ive been depressed… but maybe that dynamic creates the depression. you know?#purrs#delete later#not to say this bc it’s BLASPHEMOUS but i was also thinking abt this in the context of my bday. i was happiest in the moments where i was ei#either alone (dancing / singing / whatever and doing karaoke w mtself at 2am LOLLLL and just enjoying having peace and quiet and being able#to do what i wanted) or at work (around ppl i choose to be with in a place i choose to be in). any time i was around my family i was#agitated and annoyed and maybe some of it has to do w the renovation and the fact that we were at home for like 4 hrs moving furniture bc of#the renovation but also… maybe it’s just i don’t enjoy spending ng time w them as much as i do other things. like passively spending time at#around them bc there’s ALWAYS noise or conversation or bickering or whatever. and also in part bc i share my bday w my twin sister so its#not actually *my* day it’s ours and we’re lumped together and treated as a unit and my parents have expectations abt that and whatever. idk.#i don’t want to be / sound selfish or ungrateful for my family or whatever bc being a twin has its perks and my family situation could be so#much worse and it’s not like i had a horrible birthday or it wasn’t acknowledged or whatever. but my point is… what if… there will come a#point in my life… where the majority of things i do / people im around / aspects of my environment are things i get to choose or at the very#least have a say in. what if someday my birthday can just be my birthday and not OUR birthday(which again is the evilest most horrible thing#i have ever said in my life i know i know i know but ummmmm being a twin has dealt some significant psychological damage to me and i am#still figuring out how to be an independent person and how to determine who i am outside of the context of that relationship which most ppl#at this age / stage in life have already had years to do). idk what i was saying i lost the thread but basically: i love having alone time#where i am truly alone and i get to sing and dance and make music and eat and whatever without being yelled at or having to be quiet or#getting overstimulated. and that is not to say that i do not appreciate company or would not want to live with other people. i think im#actually kind of an ambivert now where i used to be very extroverted. but i think my biggest thing is choice. i value choice so so so much.#which is ironic in some ways bc here i am not wanting to like mess up the original layout of my acnh island… idk. it’s situational but i thi#think w the big stuff choicemeans so much to me. and i wish that was more okay to my family than it is bc asserting myself and growing into#my independence has been and will continue to be an extremely painful and unpleasant process bc no one is happy w it lol. ok ive been talkin#talking A LOT more than i thought i would and i still have more thoughts but i need to stop and keep packing out the hotel lol. bye#‘being a twin has its perks’ sounds so terrible omg. i meant that like.. it is a gift to be a twin and i love my sister. AND there are parts#of it that fucking suck ass and hopefully those parts will recede once we are living separate lives and have gotten distance from dynamics
11 notes
·
View notes