#also what is THE MOMENT that they mentioned in the dropout description???
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got it, NEXT episode is ally beardsley's insane nat 20 that destroys brennan's livelihood
#also what is THE MOMENT that they mentioned in the dropout description???#a lot of stuff happened. it was all wild#was it the porter reveal?#i did enjoy that tbh#but i rly thought ally was going to wreck everything this ep#alas. we can only dream. maybe next episode#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#ally beardsley#brennan lee mulligan
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Lesson 1- Follow Through
(Thank you all for following! And thank you Dan for the promo!)
Right then, let’s begin!
Today’s Lesson: Follow Through
Today’s Teacher: Third Shift Society by Meredith Moriarty
When you create a character, you need some character traits: things that describe this character. These traits can be external, like their job and appearance, or internal, like their personality. Is your character impulsive or methodical? Sweet or snarky? Easily scared or stupidly brave?
Third Shift Society introduces its protagonist Ellie McGuinness as a college dropout behind on her rent who’s just been let go from her job at a vintage furniture store. She has exactly one friend, who is supportive but can’t help her in her plight. A quick montage of her failing at other minimum wage jobs she’s attempting further establishes that Ellie is also prone to clumsiness.
[Image descriptions: series of panels showing Ellie spilling drinks as a waitress, burning cookies at a bakery, knocking over shelves at a library, failing to win a credit card at a skill crane machine, and lamenting that she is bad at adulthood.]
And then the plot arrives in the form of a pumpkinheaded suit-wearing man and none of these things matter ever again.
Ichabod offers Ellie a job as his “paranormal detective” partner, Ellie says yes (without asking when or how much she gets paid, something you would expect a person at risk of eviction from her apartment to be concerned about), and the next episode they’re already in the middle of a case, with no space dedicated to Ellie processing this sudden and massive life change.
Things like being short on rent and unable to pay bills for any amount of time will leave a lasting impact on a person’s spending habits and relationship to money. Being clumsy is a trait that’s very difficult to train yourself out of. And yet, once Ellie becomes a paranormal investigator, her clumsiness never affects the investigators’ ability to solve a case, and her finances are never mentioned again. When Ellie finally gets paid for her first case, her reaction is simply: “Hmph.”
Ellie has become a generically nice audience surrogate who, as someone new to the supernatural world, asks all the questions a reader might have about the lore in this story, never makes mistakes (unless she’s deliberately misled into making them) and reacts to situations like any reasonably well-meaning person would. The distinctive personality traits she had in the first episode all fell away as soon as the story got going, leaving the comic with a blank slate of a protagonist.
Characters should grow and change as a story develops-- that’s what a character arc is! But if an author creates a character with a personality that is discarded entirely once it becomes inconvenient, that is inconsistent and underdeveloped writing. Changes in a character’s core personality are more interesting when they happen slowly, gradually, and through a combination of external and internal influences. That’s what makes character-driven narratives compelling: a good character-focused story makes readers care about the characters’ emotional journeys.
A Webtoon I’ve read recently that does this particularly well is This Magical Moment by Yunhui Na, which is unfortunately a Daily Pass comic now so I can’t share screenshots of later episodes to illustrate this character growth. This Magical Moment, like Third Shift Society, is an urban fantasy comic, following a group of four 20-somethings who, while they begin their relationship at odds with each other, slowly become a tight group of friends. Sara is a Christian girl raised in an orphanage who dreams of becoming a nun, and while she is kind and gentle from the start, she’s also prejudiced and afraid of witches-- and her first impressions of potion-specialist witch Bakha don’t help. Meanwhile, Bakha starts the story as impulsive and irresponsible, only studying in the pharmacy department because it’s what her family wants her to do. Meeting Sara helps Bakha decide to take figuring out her plans for the future seriously, while Sara learns that she and witches have more in common than she thought. The Sara and Bakha that appear in the final episode resemble the characters that appear in the first, but older, wiser, and happier for the friendships they’ve gained over the course of the story.
[Image description: Sara kneeling in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary in the orphanage garden, lamenting that she didn’t have time to stop Bakha’s dark arts of cleaning the laundry.]
[Image description: Bakha thinking that her mom is too worried about her future.]
Exercise: Make up a character (or use a character you have already if you have one.) List three to five of their personality traits. Then, keeping those personality traits in mind, describe how this character would a) get a cat down from a tree, b) study (or not study) for an exam, c) spend a day in a city unfamiliar to them, and d) obtain dinner.
Now do it again for a different character, with a different personality! How would these different characters approach the same situation in ways that make sense for both of them?
Repeat until bored.
Webtoon Recs of the Day: This Magical Moment is on Daily Pass, which means a new episode becomes available for free every day once you start unlocking episodes, and annoyingly enough so is the other Webtoon I was going to rec for this week which is Devil Number 4. Gourmet Hound, however, isn’t (yet) and I’m definitely going to talk more about Gourmet Hound later because it’s a fantastic comic that does a lot of things really well, character writing included.
#webtoons#learn from webtoons#this magical moment#character writing#webcomics#writing#webtoon recommendations
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Gold Scalpel (M)
TEASER
Pairing: NCT Jaehyun & Female Reader
sugar daddy! jaehyun | ceo!au
Description: Officially a college dropout, Y/N seeks to find solace by finding a job in a hotel to fund up Medical School. However, bumping into multi-millionaire Jung Jaehyun and blabbering ‘find a daddy’ made the bachelor propose an idea which both of you will benefit; being a companion to his clandestine meetings and having you search for the gold scalpel.
— words ➙ more or less 20k
— genre ➙ sugar daddy!au, ceo!au, romance, smut, slow burn, strangers-to-lovers, fake dating! au
— warnings ➙ strong language, mentions of anxiety disorder, toxic relationship, sexual harassment, misuse of drugs (acts of felony), mature themes, slow burn, smut (graphic sex), dom! jaehyun and sub! reader, subtle dirty talk, virginity loss, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected sex
You sauntered your way towards the hotel as quickly as you can. Chanting the advises Alex told, “Follow their orders, Y/N”
“Serve them the right drinks, and smile, got it Y/N?” whispering silently. You saw a few familiar buildings including the Jung Enterprises, you were momentarily awe-stricken.
You continued your tracks and blabbering, “..and lastly, find a daddy” your face morphed into confusion, why would Alex tell something as ridiculous like that? You collided with something, no someone, you thought. A toned chest. You stopped in your tracks, and looked up in embarrassment, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry”. You didn’t know what could be more humiliating, having a complete stranger hear your ridiculous request of a daddy or bumping someone who is an embodiment of Adonis?
The Gods are not with your side at the moment, however they were also considerate despite putting you in a very awkward and humiliating situation. This was a first, you’ve been attracted to a man, internal organs churning and left you confused with the strange new feeling. You’ve never seen someone look so, ethereal. His bone structure is fine and perfectly symmetrical. He is so striking, a face that could stop anyone in their tracks. He held a nonchalant gaze, a tint of blush kissing his cheeks, a smirk plastering his luscious lips, “I’m actually single, and No” he paused staring at you intently, “I’m no daddy, but I can be one for you”
This fic will be published soon!! please wait for a little more! I love you all! <3
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⟨ *.:。┊ — Emerald Scott : Career. ⟩
“Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works.” — Virginia Woolf
up to 30 short stories published in different magazines / websites (and counting bc she still writes and publishes short stories from time to time)
gramma : a small boy has to stay home alone to keep watch over his bedridden grandmother, who he's always been scared of. As the story progresses, we find out he has good reason to be afraid. ((mentions of abuse))
the raft : a group of four friends go night swimming in a lake, only to get trapped on the wooden raft by a mysterious creature. ((supernatural , suspense))
nona : from prison, an unnamed man recounts his life as a college dropout who met and fell in love with a beautiful girl named nona, while aimlessly hitchhiking on a snowy winter's night in maine. that night, the narrator is seduced by nona into murdering several innocent bystanders. ((gory descriptions))
the library policeman : tell of sam peebles, who pushed by supernatural events in his hometown library is forced to battle an age-old fear and traumatic events from his past. ((supernatural , mentions of abuse))
autopsy room four : howard cottrell awakes from some form of unconsciousness to find himself laid out in an autopsy room. after realizing that he isn't dead, howard deduces that he is in a paralysed state. howard tries to somehow inform the doctors of this fact before they cut into him. ((suspense))
remember me : written in letter form , a woman recounts her last night of passion with her lover as she bids him goodbye. at the end of the letter, she reveals herself as a demon who’s laid eggs inside of him. ((supernatural , very nsfw , gory descriptions))
it lives in the woods (2013)
a group of kids played with a creature in the woods until one of them disappeared. as teenagers, they find out he’s back thanks to a serie of supernatural events affecting them and everyone in town.
first novel em got published (she was 18)
she had been working on that and building onto her manuscript since she was 15.
even when she had already published lots of short stories people were a lil hesitant to gamble on a whole ass book by a fairly young girl and ilitw was rejected 27 times before she got a deal
got into the new york times best selling list though and was praised for the intricate plot and maturity of her writing
lots of supernatural elements and gory descriptions
the haunting of brainwood mannor (2014)
a woman goes back to the house where her brother died when they were kids and realizes there were far stranger things in that place than she remembered.
not her finest work, it was finished but it just wasnt ... emerald level of finished. not all can be winners right ?
she was rushed to publish something to ride her first book’s tail so she gave them this one rather than the book she was working on (see below) so she’d have more time to work on it
she’d like to rewrite it again sometime but let’s be real... she probably won’t, even when she has rewritten snippets of the novel corrected in her notebooks
something between a short novel and a long short story
supernatural and psychological horror
we don’t talk about this book
the analyst (2016)
'happy fifty-third birthday, doctor. welcome to the first day of your death. you ruined my life. and now I fully intend to ruin yours.’ until the moment he opens the letter, new york psychologist dr frederick starks has led a quiet and, so he believes, blameless life. he has no idea why he's being judged by this unknown tormentor a former patient - who then lethally begins to demonstrate the potential of his, or her, threats. as the layers of starks's carefully constructed life are stripped from him, he quickly finds himself a powerless pawn in a psychopath's devious game of vengeance.
huuuuuge improvement from her last book
psychological thriller
it’s open-ended but em has never really said whether she’s planning on writing a sequel or not, even though she has the outline for it written in a notebook somewhere.
she wrote this book under the pseudonym poppy everhart so people wouldn’t associate it with her last book lol
it helped to it being a hit because she refused to give any interviews / do any tours so you know... mystery (plus the book is good mind you!)
the library of the dead (2018)
assigned to the high-profile "doomsday" serial killer case, fbi agent will piper is hitting dead end after dead end. the victims seem to have nothing in common: age, background, or even the way they die. all that connects them is a postcard each received in the mail announcing his or her date of death—all sent from las vegas, where a brilliant computer scientist leads a double life. just when agent piper finds a credible lead, he's removed from the case. continuing the investigation on his own, he must outwit a ruthless team of covert operatives from area 51 protecting the government's greatest secret. from a medieval monastery to a cutting-edge government laboratory, library of the dead delivers a richly detailed, thought-provoking exploration of fate, predestination, and the choices we make in life.
also written under her pseudonym (only very few people know she’s the author behind those two books)
sounds ridiculous. never ask her to explain the plot of her book lmao
the first of what was announced recently as a trilogy
she spent a year and a half just doing research for it as it has lots of historical elements, including visiting archaeological sites in europe and lots and lots of libraries
also lots of nsfw
she’s gotten offers from netflix to turn the story into a show but she refuses to hear a word about it until she finishes the books, and maybe not even then lol
#⟨ *.:。┊ — career. ⟩#absolutely nobody needed this wow#but anyways#i decided to make some adjustments to her career so here we are#i think i'm actually pretty pleased with this#can you have an author claim? lmao#anyways the first two books are plots from a graphic novel app#third by john katzenbach#and last by glenn cooper#a Mind!#most short stories are by stephen king#i didn't choose anything 'iconic' tho lol
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The Outsiders Queer Subtext ft. Jally - Part 19
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
Okay, so this time we’re taking a look at Ponyboy’s relationships with Darry and Johnny. This comes on the tail of the last part, with Cherry and Marcia’s boyfriend Socs rolling by the group walking home. The car passes by and the boys are relieved they don’t need to fight.
So then Cherry asks Pony about Darry, since he’s already said a lot about Soda. It’s a long quote, but here we go.
I tried to think of something to say about Darry, and shrugged. “What’s to talk about? He’s big and handsome and likes to play football.” (Pg 41)
[. . .]
My face got hot as I bit my lip. Darry . . .what was Darry like? “He’s. . .” I started to say he was a good ol’ guy but I couldn’t. I burst out bitterly: “He’s not like Sodapop at all and he sure ain’t like me. He’s hard as a rock and about as human. He’s got eyes exactly like frozen ice. He thinks I’m a pain in the neck. He likes Soda -- everybody likes Soda -- but he can’t stand me. I bet he wishes he could stick me in a home somewhere, and he’d do it, too, if Soda’d let him.”
Two-Bit and Johnny were staring at me now. “No. . .” Two-Bit said, dumbfounded. “No, Ponyboy, that ain’t right. . .you got it wrong. . .”
“Gee,” Johnny said softly, “I thought you and Darry and Soda got along real well. . .”
“Well, we don’t,” I snapped, feeling silly. I knew my ears were red by the way they were burning, and I was thankful for the darkness. I felt stupid. Compared to Johnny’s home, mine was heaven. At least Darry didn’t get drunk and beat me up or run me out of the house, and I had Sodapop to talk things over with. That made me mad, I mean making a fool of myself in front of everyone. “An you can shut your trap, Johnny Cade, ‘cause we all know you ain’t wanted at home, either. And you can’t blame them.”
Johnny’s eyes went round and he winced as though I’d belted him. Two-Bit slapped me a good one across the side of the head, and hard. “Shut your mouth, kid. If you wasn’t Soda’s kid brother I’d beat the tar out of you. You know better than to talk to Johnny like that.” He put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “He didn’t mean it, Johnny.”
“I’m sorry,” I said miserably. Johnny was my buddy. “I was just mad.”
“It’s the truth,” Johnny said with a bleak grin. “I don’t care.”
“Shut up talkin’ like that,” Two-Bit said fiercely, messing up Johnny’s hair. “We couldn’t get along without you, so you can just shut up!” (Pg 42-43)
There’s a lot to parse here. So at first, the only nice thing Pony has to say about Darry is that he is tall, handsome, and plays football. That’s very...unfamiliar, you know? A stranger could probably say the same about Darry. But when pushed, Pony spills his true thoughts. That Darry is cold, nearly inhuman, and more than likely would get rid of Ponyboy if he could.
This is an important moment because it again shows Pony’s unreliability as a narrator. His friends apparently don’t even know the feelings Pony is struggling with over his family. I don’t know about anyone else, but my friends know how I feel about my family, about our relationships. And I know the same about them. That might not be true of every friend group, obviously, but it strikes me as odd. Like, if Pony genuinely thinks that about Darry, he’s obviously mistaken since we see that’s not true throughout the book. I think Darry is hard on Pony because he wants the best for him, wants him to succeed despite all the setbacks they’ve had. Yet Pony sees that firmness as Darry not liking him and not wanting him around. But again, that just goes toward Pony being an unreliable narrator, as this is not the only time he misunderstands or misrepresents other characters and their situations.
And even though Pony can recognize that his situation isn’t bad compared to others in the gang, especially Johnny, that doesn’t stop him from being emotionally volatile and lashing out at Johnny. Who does not deserve that from a close friend because even though Johnny would probably like to think it isn’t true that his parents don’t care about him, it is something he believes and wishes were different. So Pony playing on that specific fear of a a kid stuck in an abusive household, it just breaks my heart. And of course Pony apologizes because he doesn’t want to hurt his friend, but the damage is kind of done already.
I love that Two-Bit sticks up for Johnny. And not in a “pet” way but in the way that he sees Johnny as being legitimately one of the gang, one part of a whole. Even if Pony doesn’t always see it in that way. Two-Bit telling Johnny not to talk like he’s not wanted because the gang wants him around just simultaneously warms and breaks my heart. He says they couldn’t get along without Johnny and I just want to cry because of what happens. Foreshadowing? Bleakly, yeah.
Johnny feels neglected and unloved at home, and the gang is the only true family he has, but you can tell it’s almost not enough for him. It’s hard for a kid who just wants to feel loved by his parents, and no matter how great your friends are, at this age it’s just not the same. The gang treats him protectively but it’s not the same as parental love. These boys just hurt my heart so much.
Now, Pony keeps lamenting the unfortunate situations of the whole gang. Which, this paragraph is about the most information we get in that respect.
“It ain’t fair!” I cried passionately. “It ain’t fair that we have all the rough breaks!” I didn’t know exactly what I meant, but I was thinking about Johnny’s father being a drunk and his mother a selfish slob, and Two-Bit’s mother being a barmaid to support him and his kid sister after their father ran out on them, and Dally -- wild, cunning Dally -- turning into a hoodlum because he’d die if he didn’t, and Steve -- his hatred for his father coming out in his soft, bitter voice and the violence of his temper. Sodapop. . .a dropout so he could get a job and keep me in school, and Darry, getting old before his time trying to run a family and hold on to two jobs and never having any fun -- while the Socs had so much spare time and money that they jumped us and each other for kicks, had beer blasts and river-bottom parties because they didn’t know what else to do. Things were rough allover, all right. All over the East Side. It just didn’t seem right to me. (Pg 43)
Just break my heart some more why don’t you. Johnny’s parents are gross people who shouldn’t be parents. Two-Bit’s mom works to support them, which kind of surprises me that he’s still in school and apparently not working. In that situation with a sister to support as well, you might think he would do as Soda did and drop out to start working, especially since he’s the oldest of the gang. Steve hates his father, but we don’t know why that is. Steve being soft and bitter with a temper should probably tell us his dad at least isn’t a great guy either. Dally’s family isn’t even mentioned but I believe he is with his father out here, but at least Pony acknowledges that Dally didn’t have any other option than to be how he is if he wanted to survive. (Also, I love the description of wild and cunning for him)
All these boys have shitty situations they have to live with. But Johnny is still treated as this innocent who needs to be protected and loved in place of his family. I feel like this is another parallel drawn to Dally, who never had a chance to be anything but a hoodlum, with his innocence being stolen early on in life so he could survive. Johnny and Dally again are two sides of the same coin, and it’s instances like this that solidify that for me.
So what do you guys think about the home lives of the gang? And what about Pony’s simultaneous empathy and understanding of the gang alongside his self-oriented outlook that almost highlights his unreliability as a narrator?
Until the next part~
#outsiders queer subtext series#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#two-bit matthews#jally#dallas winston#steve randle#the outsiders#se hinton
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Winter 2017 Anime Awards!
(From the ones I actually watched.)
Best Overall: 3-gatsu no Lion/ March Comes in like a Lion
Into the light.
With consistent quality during the second part despite a shift in focus, perfectly managed tone that never leads to excess sentimentality or overt levity, and a story that ebbs and flows with such grace that it melts metaphor and direct description like an impressionist painting, Chica Umino's March Comes in Like a Lion remains the top spot for two consecutive seasons for the simple reason that it tells a rich story of individuals and making meaning.
In the first part, it introduces shogi professional, sometimes student, and introvert Rei Kiriyama and the facets of his life, particularly his close ties with the Kawamoto siblings. At the beginning of Part 2, Rei hugs the youngest Kawamoto sibling, Momo, and says that he has personal and professional matters to deal. While he sees the Kawamoto family as comfort and healing, he understands that he can't come running to them each time. With a major tournament upcoming he stops visiting them and the narrative shifts to the lives of the Shogi players that he plays against. With their own dreams and regrets, he becomes an observer of their lives as he compares it against his own, not to pass judgement on his failings, but to see the possibilities there is to life and to recognize that in the end, there are no bad guys, just people driven by very different motivations and showing how they cope with the consequences of a lifetime of choices.
With another season later in the year and a two-part live action movie currently showing in Japan, the series deserves all the accolades it gets. And if you're ever in the market for something substantial, with a deep, beating heart, this is your anime.
Best Drama: Youjo Senki, The Saga of Tanya the Evil
What is a god to an non-believer?
Tanya von Degurechaff is the fiercest, deadliest, and most cunning soldier of the Empire (Not-Germany) as they wage the first World War (Until it becomes muddled when they introduce a Panzerkampfwagen IV.). She's also under thirteen years old and is hated by God, or a god.
Why is that?
The god sees Tanya has such little faith in him and has therefore cursed her: Should she die a death that is not natural, she will be taken off the wheel of reincarnation and sent to hell.
But why a kid? And why so much hatred for an individual?
While these questions are answered to an extent, the most important thing to consider is that these driving forces are what sets up Tanya as she is placed in conflict for most of the war as she struggles to survive. She puts in as many legal means as possible to leave the war, only to have her end up on the front lines anyway, whether by her own fault, or by divine intervention.
As she leaves a trail of bodies, her actions reverberate throughout the war as everyone slowly pushes down into a black hole, no matter who is winning. And as with the nature of war, there are no heroes, only murderers.
Best Comedy: Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o!
"This anime is like every insane D&D story I have ever heard." -henlp
The second season of Konosuba! continues the adventures of Satou Kazuma as he is pulled from the real world into a fantasy world where RPG game mechanics exist in reality. He's accompanied by a Goddess who drinks too much and wastes her skill points on party tricks, a Wizard who knows only one spell (and collapses after every use), and a Crusader who can tank, but cannot hit any living thing with her sword (not out of principle, she just can't hit at all). Also, that Crusader is a masochist.
"Insane and crazy" is the proper descriptor for the way the series is plotted, as comedic plot points are introduced and escalated versions of those plot points are put to use later on. The characters are made aware that they are in the mess they are in because of the solution that resolved a previous conflict made ample fuel for another. "It gets worse" is another descriptor as they are battered by bad luck and only somehow manage to escape as even their most competent moments are displays of excellence borne out of their utter stupidity. It's a show that's shameless enough to throw everything at a wall to make you laugh, and most of the time, what they throw in, sticks.
Honorable Mention: Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon
The Lion falls in love with the Mouse.
Miss Kobayashi is a Systems Engineer who, after a night of drunken revelry, somehow saves the life of a dragon, Tohru. Still drunk, she invites the Dragon back to her apartment, and into her life.
Unlike Konosuba! which fills narrative space with ever increasing, crazy humor, Miss Kobayashi's strength is mixing in the fantastical elements with the mundane, to create the comedy or the heart-warming plots, something that Gabriel DropOut only marginally succeeded in doing.
All throughout are discussions on the comfort between partners and the lives of people from vastly different backgrounds. It's about love and growing into it, even though we've largely been on autopilot. It's about the surprise we get when we realize to what degree people can love us for.
Best Cute Girl Anime: Demi-chan wa Kataritai, Interview with Monster Girls
Science, Folklore, and Free Hugs
Almost all Cute Girl Anime narratives occur within a casting closed system, that is, primary and secondary characters are all girls and they play off their antics onto each other and whatever conflict they find themselves in. So this is a very special case where the Primary female characters shine in their characterization with the aid of a Primary male character, Takahashi Tetsuo, Biology teacher, Demi-Human Researcher, and member of the pantheon of the "Greatest Teachers in Fiction".
So for the girls, we have Takanashi Hikari, vampire, Machi Kyouko, dullahan, Elsa, Kusakabi Yuki, a snow woman, and Satou Sakie, succubus and Math teacher.
The daily motions of these monster girls is already interesting enough, but a subtle beauty comes from the setting and the way the plot is crafted with a keen eye for science and human foibles.
The world-building is present but hardly emphasized, and shows how the world accommodates the Demi-Humans and their special needs. Vampires get blood packs subsidized by the government, Succubi get visits from Demi-Human agencies to check up on how well they're adjusting to their environment, and the rest are treated not so much because they're demi-humans, but how they are as people. Kusakabe Yuki, for instance, is seen as cold by a few of her peers, but never attribute her nature as a snow woman to be the cause.
The science part is interesting, because several chapters detail efforts by Takahashi trying to explain the physiology of the Demi-Humans, drawing on folklore for insight and the scientific method to explain "how" they function, without asking "why". In Magical Realism, whys have never been the point anyway.
And so we have a Cute Girl anime that stands above and beyond what is generally expected of the genre. By having the willingness to introduce other characters in the mix, we experience something a bit more different in how humor is constructed and how conflict is resolved. True to its efforts to ground itself through science, the warmth comes off even more genuine and realistic.
Best Sci-Fi/ Fantasy: Little Witch Academia
Better than Harry Potter.
What started off as a crowd-funded film about a young girl aspring to become a great witch, has turned into a full-blown series as it should have from the start. It carries with it all the trademarks of Trigger: Stark and clean character design, slick animation, and a wild ride of a story. Whereas previous works were about killer clothes and literal shared experiences, this one is a straight-forward romp into the realm of fantasy.
Except, while the premise is straight-forward, the execution has all the majesty and scope of an epic tightly-knit inside the trappings of what is essentially a coming-of-age, high school story. Add a pinch of the ever classic industry versus magic trope, excellent characters and well-realized relationships, and you have something that only ever appears plain and overdone.
Best Girl: Tsukinose Vignette April from Gabriel DropOut
No good or evil, only kawaii.
I have reached the conclusion that in the world of Gabriel DropOut, the one reason neither Heaven nor Hell have made any greater stride against the other is not because of balance, but rather because both are equally inept.
That being said, Tsukinose Vignette April, a demon from Hell, is the worst kind of inept but the also the best kind of character to be best girl: Kind, disciplined, being the one person responsible enough to go over to Gabriel's home to wake her up for school, scared of horror movies, and just... angelic. Compound her difficulty with being the only straight man in a comedy quartet gives her the patience of a saint.
Some people, like Gabriel, could never grasp the responsibility of being a divine being. For Vignette, she was just unlucky enough to not have been born to a role she's a natural in: that of a normal human being.
Best OP: "Shadow and Truth" by ONE III NOTES from ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept.
"It's never really what it seems."
In the latest of slice-of-life/ food/ mystery anime is ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept, where Otus tries to do his job as inspector in what is ostensibly a Fascist state that is under rumors of a coup.
Of course, the general goal of any good OP is to draw the viewer into the show and communicate what they'll come to expect from it. And for a show with such style and class it's masterful to pick a song that blends hip-hop and jazz as the vocalists rap about the hazy nature of truth as people play games with relationships and politics into each other.
The striking visuals complement the song nicely, with shots of the various characters shifting in and out of blur and limiting visuals to white, black, and one more color for every scene to evoke a unique feel for every single character and teasing the role they'll play in the show.
Best ED: "Los! Los! Los!" by Aoi Yūki from Youjo Senki, Saga of Tanya the Evil
Bedenke, dass du sterben musst.
An ode to madness and bloodlust, Los! Los! Los! (German for "Come on! Come on! Come on!") is a war speech in song form with very simple visuals: Shots of Tanya's face in various states of anger/ madness, a battlefield, and a few illustrations by the Light Novel's artist, Neichiru. How and when they're shown is where the song melds and gains greater power.
The angry/ mad face and the battlefield are shown and interchange with each other to follow the beat of the song during the chorus, which are commands in German to attack, take cover, or stand in attention.
Neichiru's illustrations take over during the verses, which celebrates war, the joys of taking away life, and surrendering your own life to your country, which the song sees as a great achievement, good enough to reach heaven for by building dead bodies one atop another.
Listening to the full song is recommended , as it expands on the nihilism even further, calling for those who advocate peace as weaklings and calling for ceaseless violence and depravity akin more to Heaven rather than Hell.
For its dark and horrifying thesis (sung with the voice of a young girl), the song would not be out of place in a battlefield setting where you know there is no way out, so you might as well go and fight and relish every drop of blood spilled, whether your own, or your opponents.
#March Comes in Like a Lion#youjo senki#konosuba#miss kobayashi's dragon maid#demi-chan wa kataritai#acca 13-ku kansatsu-ka#gabriel dropout#little witch academia#anime awards
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21/02/2020
Top 10
We have a slightly different type of “big week” this week, because whilst there aren’t that many new arrivals, we have a couple of massive new arrivals. The big story this week is the #1, as “No Time to Die”, the theme song for the constantly delayed James Bond film of the same title, by Billie Eilish, debuts at the top spot. It’s Eilish’s sixth UK Top 40 hit, only her fourth top 10 and her first ever #1 on the UK Singles Chart. Congratulations; we’ll talk more about it later.
Of course, because of this, a lot of our top 10 are down a couple spots this week. First of all, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd is down a spot to number-two but it could easily regain the #1 next week.
“The Box” is Roddy Ricch is also down one space to number-three.
As is “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi at number-four.
Oh, as well as “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa at number-five.
“Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi, on the other hand, is up a spot to number-six, possibly due to the BRITs and their muted impact this week, which I didn’t expect to be so minimal, but it’s probably because it’s shared with next week.
At number-seven, also up one space, is “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek. I checked out some of this dude’s other songs and I much prefer them to the original “Roses”, especially one which I can’t mention in polite company, so I’ll just call it “Swoosh”. It’s a good song, check it out.
Interestingly, despite a remix with DaBaby being released, “Life is Good” by Drake, then Future – which I can’t really call it anymore since the remix just makes it Future featuring Drake and DaBaby – is down two spaces to number-eight. Also, I found an unauthorised lo-fi hip hop remix of this song on Spotify and it’s kind of cool, albeit uninspired.
At number-nine, steady from last week, is “everything i wanted” by Billie Eilish.
Finally, “Intentions” by Justin Bieber featuring Quavo reaches the top 10 off of the debut last week thanks to the album release of Changes, which has had an impact not even worthy of an album bomb section, which again is pretty pathetic of Bieber. God knows how many top 10s Bieber has (19 including “Despacito”), but it’s Quavo’s fourth.
Climbers
There literally are none. Well, there are SOME, but none notable enough to make it to this section.
Fallers
On the contrast, there were a handful of pretty notable fallers this week, but nothing that big or unexpected. “Godzilla” by Eminem featuring the late Juice WRLD is down six to #11 and slowly making its way out, “Physical” by Dua Lipa disappointingly falters down five spots to #16, “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez is back down six spaces to #27, “Play Play” by J Hus featuring Burna Boy phases out down eight to #28, “Ei8ht Mile” by DigDat featuring Aitch is down seven (So close) to #33, and finally, “Wake Up Call” by KSI featuring Trippie Redd flops down 10 spaces to #38.
Dropouts & Returning Entries
Well, there are actually two returning entries due to two different national events: The BRITs live performance and wins for whatever category propelled “Don’t Call Me Up” by Mabel back up to #34. It had previously peaked at #3. My BRITs 2020 coverage is somewhere on this blog, so check that out if you want. “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran is also back at #36 after peaking at #1, because of Valentine’s Day, probably. This song’s been on the charts for like 96 weeks though so, like, stop being in love, please. I’ve already reviewed both of these songs in 2018 AND 2019, “Perfect” made my best list for last year, so no need to re-review them here.
We also have six drop-outs, the first of which is “React” by the Pussycat Dolls, out from #29. Not only can they not grasp the top 20 even, but they can’t even hold onto their lowest lead single’s charting entry for more than seven days. Geez. Otherwise, we have debuts from last week like “London” by M24 and Tion Wayne out from #32 (Which is a good song) and “Suicidal” by YNW Melly out from #37 (Which isn’t). Out from #35 is the last dregs of the album bomb for J Hus, as “Repeat” featuring Koffee exits the chart. Finally, at #39 we have “Memories” fading for Maroon 5, and unfortunately, the poetic “Pee Pee” by M Huncho out from #40.
Outside the top 40 and inside the top 75 are songs that I can see entering the top 40 (or re-entering the top 40) in the foreseeable future, the coming weeks, or perhaps just next week. Not all of them are good. Not all of them are bad. We have “Dior” by the late Pop Smoke at #73, “Death Bed” by Powfu and beabadoobee at #68, “Blueberry Faygo” by Lil Mosey at #65, “City of Angels” by 24kgoldn at #64, “Flex” by JAY1 and Jo Scofield at #60, “Breathe Deeper” by Tame Impala at #59, “Numbers” by A Boogie wit da Hoodie featuring Roddy Ricch, Gunna and London on tha Track at #53, “Stop this Flame” by BRIT Award winner Celeste at #47, and finally, “Falling” by Harry Styles returning to #41 after an emotional (and boring) performance at the BRIT Awards. Now, let’s talk about the new arrivals.
NEW ARRIVALS
#35 – “WINE” – B Young
Produced by Baby Got Beatz
Hey, remember this guy? God, B Young is a flashback to our first year on this show, where I actually did a full review mocking his song “Jumanji”, which to this day is still ridiculous, but after hearing so much Afroswing that sounds exactly the same, it almost doesn’t process to me when listening to it how bad it sounded in 2018. This is his third UK Top 40 hit and first since that year, and I don’t think anyone can beat the charming inflections and nonsensical lyrics from that classic, to be honest. I’m looking through the lyrics and I don’t see any fling-flinging of the pantieeeeeeeeees oh, so I’m immensely disappointed. He seemingly took a year off of music last year, only releasing one song, “Gucci Demon”, which missed the UK Top 40 (And is pretty decent actually, albeit awfully mixed), so maybe he’s taken a break to hone his craft. Yeah, I’m kidding, but his singing has gotten better... yeah, no, this is just boring, with a generic, non-descript guitar beat and lyrics just as inoffensive... wait, hold on, maybe not as inoffensive as I thought. In one of the verses he says he will film he and his girlfriend having sex on a GoPro, and then in another he says he’ll dry her in sheepskin after a shower and then “Just Eat” her. God, this is just trashy and pathetically so. It’s not even funny this time, so what value does this have at all?
#29 – “Forever” – Justin Bieber featuring Post Malone and Clever
Produced by Poo Bear and HARV
Last year, I believe it was March, the late Juice WRLD released his sophomore album, Death Race for Love, and somehow, in an album that consisted of songs containing lyrics such as “baby, lookie-lookie, I’mma eat you like some studio cookies”, “I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a Hoover Dam”, “now I’m running from your love, I’m not fast so I’m making it worse” (Amazing song, by the way), and my personal favourite, “I took a piss in your dead homie grave, let’s get it”, the most embarrassing performance was probably from Clever, an unknown and untalented emo-rap singer who appeared on “Ring Ring” with one of many unlistenable moments on that album. I figured this was just one of Juice’s friends and I’d never see or hear from him again. Now this gnarly dude has his first UK Top 40 hit and a feature on massive global popstar Justin Bieber’s album, alongside also one of the most famous men of the past ten years, Post Malone, who is arguably just as big as Bieber right now, and also increasingly more talented than both of these guys. Post and Bieber have had a couple songs together, one of which leaked and had Kanye in it, and was actually good, and the other was “Deja Vu”, and that one is actually pretty good as well. Somehow, this one misses the mark, probably because Clever makes me want to stab innocent civilians and Bieber has been increasingly uninteresting during this album cycle. Post Malone exists. I wish the one with Lil Dicky charted, then I could talk about an interesting news story without actually reviewing the song, as I’ve tried to do for all of the other Bieber songs this year. Let’s just to put it this way: If I were to make Changes for my wife, and publicise that fact, I would end up having to explain “Yummy (Country Remix feat. Florida Georgia Line)” to a marriage counsellor... and I’ve already had to explain that to my therapist.
Oh, yeah, and if you want another lyric from that Juice WRLD record: “I can change anything, got them Obama eyes”. What?
#20 – “To Die For” – Sam Smith
Produced by Stargate and Jimmy Napes
It’s a Sam Smith piano ballad. Next.
#1 – “No Time to Die” – Billie Eilish
Produced by FINNEAS (her brother) and Stephen Lipson
With every James Bond film comes a James Bond song, this one being performed by the youngest ever Bond singer, with Eilish obviously being eighteen. The Bond song always performs pretty well as the film is a blockbuster spy action thriller whatever the hell, and the song accompanies the movie to drive up some hype. I don’t care about James Bond as a franchise at all, and I haven’t even tried to watch one in full, so I apologise if I don’t get a part of this song, even though most Bond themes are actually completely unrelated to their respective film, even if this one is named after No Time to Die which is out this Spring. Eilish’s collaboration with Hans Zimmer is the 22nd Bond theme to get to the UK Top 40, the 14th to reach the top 10, and the second to peak at #1, after 2015’s “Writing on the Wall” by Sam Smith from Spectre reached the top spot. Bond themes have been recorded by people like Adele, Jack White, Madonna, Duran Duran, Paul McCartney, Tom Jones, Tina Turner, the list goes on, but will Eilish’s single compete with the best?
Well, yeah, since it’s the first one I’ve liked since 2002 (that was Madonna’s “Die Another Day”, by the way). It’s also possibly the first Bond theme I’ve loved, as this is actually a pretty incredible song, with an eerie piano melody that looms above the mix, which is near perfect by the way, and Eilish’s brilliant performance, with vocals that are somewhat understated and subtle at first, at some times even drowned out slightly by the bursts of horns and strings. The chorus, especially when that first guitar riff hits, is just so cathartic, and Eilish, although she does reflect consistent themes of Bond songs (“Fool me once, fool me twice”), isn’t as melodramatic as “Skyfall” or even trying to soundtrack a spy film, instead this is a bitter, bitter heartbreak that reflects how sick she is of the manipulation she has had to endure during the relationship, and the crashing cymbals, Hans Zimmer’s fantastically conducted orchestra, the borderline belting in the final chorus reflecting a climax of angst before the outro, where she practically whispers over some cute chords, to demonstrate how she has just given up at this point. There are so many subtleties in this production it would be increasingly difficult to list everything I adore about FINNEAS’ contributions here, including the spy guitar, airy flutes, and my personal favourite addition, the guitar licks from Johnny Marr of the Smiths, which just sound great. Just listen to the song if you somehow haven’t; it’s the best song I’ve seen chart in weeks if not months, just overwhelmingly great.
Conclusion
Yeah, Best of the Week is obviously going to Billie Eilish’s “No Time to Die”, with Worst of the Week going to the Biebs, Post Malone and Clever for whatever “Forever” is. Follow me on Twitter, I suppose, and bye.
REVUEIWRHFRIQEUHFGFIJRE 2020
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After probing his deep-state background and Illuminati connections, I was hoping to be rid of the Jeffrey Epstein file but here we are spinning another round in this Part IV of a saga of sexual perversion and financial crime that refuses to go away. It's a cold day in hell for me to find any agreement with The Daily Beast, which means the Netherworld must now be sufficiently frozen to toss a few snowballs at child-porn producer Nicholas Negroponte and his acolyte Joi Ito. As founder of the MIT Media Lab and his pedophilia sex-fiend buddies with American diplomats and major corporations, including Boeing, all in with the George W. Bush team, Negroponte was involved in systematic rape and video production of kiddie porn at a Phnom Penh orphanage, that was busted by "the Father's group" of anti-pedophile activists, which included Wayne Madsen, the late Gerald Thorns and me. Those tiny victims, mostly boys ranged from six to 14 years of age, along with a few subteen girls for some hetero action, until their expulsion on orders of Queen Monica of Cambodia. These crimes of underage porn produced at the MIT Media Lab later culminated in that coven's role in the murder of reddit editor and anti-pedophile activist Aaron Swartz in January 2013. To give credit where's it's due, the Beast exposed Epstein's secretive funneling of investment funds through Nick Negroponte's MIT Media Lab as a conduit to tech "start-ups" involved in next-gen sexual perversion to amuse the mind-raped heirs of elite families when they get a bit older with their own bio-synthesized AI-capable sex androids, presumably modeled after young kids from your neighborhood. Jeffrey Epstein, who had a personal preference for teenage girls, was their angel investor, providing an estimated one million dollars or more to the Lab's bag-man Joichi "Joi" Ito, whose background check discloses zero academic or engineering qualifications for being in charge of anything except the janitorial service at MIT, indicative again of the intellectual level of the baboons with the Bush crime mob and their queer pals in the Obama regime, who managed to subvert academia. Further on, this essay will examine the occult Shabbatean roots of the Greek Jewish Negroponte family from Calchika, the Venetian fortress of Negroponte on the Aegean island of Euboea (Evvia) where their pimping Khazarian Jew ancestors flourished in the service of the Doge of Venice and the Ottoman court, as continued into our present era in Ambassador John Negroponte's relishing of the perverse sadistic torture at Abu Graibh Prison in military-occupied Iraq. The elite's sex crimes against defenseless children are legacy operations of cults that operate in secret like vampire covens in Eastern Europe and Turkey as depicted in the "Underworld" series and the Dracula movies. Nick and John, you diabolical scum, walk quickly on dark nights though you've tired with age, because it's never too late for the ghosts of your victims to insert and squeeze the castration tongs when you least expect it. Ventriloquist's puppet The stand-in for Nick Negroponte as current lab director, Joi Ito, has just apologized for his secret meetings inside Epstein's posh homes to collect "gifts and funds" to MIT along with an undisclosed amount for Ito's private investment company. Under pressure of media coverage, MIT disclosed that Jeffrey Epstein donated $800,000 to Joi Ito and Seth Lloyd, the latter involved in quantum computing theory, without providing further details as to the specifics of project allocation. Ito claimed the MIT Media Lab received $200,000 of that sum and admitted that Epstein also channeled an undisclosed amount into one of Ito's private investment fund. This funneling of large sums of money, of unknown origin (when Epstein's prime business client Les Wexner is now complaining about grand larceny due to misappropriation from his fortune) is a financial crime implicating Ito and possibly other individuals with the governing board at the Media Lab and MIT administration. To assume Negroponte had no insider knowledge is absurd considering his crime biography. Instead of launching a credible investigation into the MIT-Epstein nexus, the university administration has quietly encouraged a "non-official" petition by Media Lab faculty, fellows, staffers and students in support of bag-man Ito to retain his position as crook-in-chief, even though he has, this late in the game, failed to disclose any specifics about the amounts, recipient research projects and individuals involved, and the purposes of Epstein's funding. Due discipline at major universities, including MIT, requires legal contracts for major donations, which Ito and his board have failed to produce for public inspection. His admission of a secret financial relationship with Epstein came long after the media expose of the donor's sexual misconduct with underage girls. The complicity of DARPA and the National Science Foundation in this campaign of misdirection under a blanket cover-up is yet to be exposed. This level of financial fraud demands FBI action and Massachusetts state attorney general's probe into the MIT Media Lab, including its role in the Cambodian pedophile-child porn project and the murder of Aaron Swartz. The nexus of evil must be dismantled in a court of law and the culprits assigned long prison terms. Education Secretary Betsy DeVos needs to step into this quagmire, which threatens to suck down MIT and Harvard into a swamp of distrust. Minority Report Contrary to the ethically stunted majority of MIT Media labbers, two of its professionals resigned in protest of the hidden relationship between Ito and Epstein, and undoubted its shadow director Negroponte. As reported in CBS News: "Ethan Zuckerman, director of the lab's Center for Civic Media, said that director Joi Ito had failed to disclose the deceased financier's funding of the MIT incubator as well as investments Epstein made in Ito's personal venture capital fund. "Visiting scholar Nathan Matias, who works on the social impact of online platforms, said in a blog post that he, too, was severing ties with the Media Lab over business relations that occurred after Epstein's 'appalling crimes were already known.'" Well done, gentlemen, for setting an ethical example. Two honest individuals versus 100 ethically impaired careerists who signed the support letter, plus several cowards who remain anonymous, in favor of Ito's continuing as director. This is a scandal of academic complicity in criminal activities and ethical lapses at one of the nation's most respected institutions of higher learning, setting a disgraceful example for America's system of higher education. That said, who and what is Joi Ito? Houseboy in Charge Due to the moral influence of my father from a samurai clan who went off to war in the U.S. Army's 442nd Regiment against the Nazi-led forces in Europe (yes, there is such a thing as real men among wimpy Asian Americans), I get uncomfortable whenever having to discuss our subservient immigrant phenomena of "houseboys" like actor James Shigeta, Lt. Sulu aka George Takei and this creepy Joichi Ito, and various mango smoothies named Cary or Grant. Orientalism, with its sexual exoticism, is a powerful undercurrent in Western societies that have neocolonial commercial interests in Asia, with Ito's suspect role as a purveyor to pedophiles of Japanese child porn being a case in point. Joichi Ito's academic biography is noteworthy for its lack of mention of graduation from any university, not even with a bachelor's degree, having been a dropout from Tufts and the University of Chicago. One of his disappointed teachers said that Joi believed himself to be too "creative" but actually was too lazy and undisciplined to attend class. His curriculum vita is otherwise packed with honorary mentions and highfalutin titles, obviously exchanged for generous donations by this fraudster. Institutional bribery bought his ticket to ride. PSY op Tokyo His "big start" in tech came with development of the PSY network in Tokyo, thanks to a little help from Cable and Wireless PLC, a private-sector telecom that fronted for the British CGHQ spy agency (equivalent to the NSA) operating out of Hong Kong and Australia. The Brit intel connection also links the Negroponte brothers to UK Princes Charles and Philip, those descendants of the King of Greece, a Brit-installed puppet during the Greek independence struggle against the Ottoman Turks in which Lord Byron figured so publicly. Is the MIT Media Lab actually a British intelligence outpost in the Ivy League? What else can explain Joi Ito' mercurial rise based on nothing but hot air? Anyway in the early 1990s, Japan's early Internet system was being developed by a coalition of computer departments at leading universities, which called itself TWICS. In that early phase, my Japan Times Weekly webpage was the runaway leading website in Japan, but was forced to shut down under the threat of an advertising boycott made against the parent newspaper by Dentsu, then the world's largest ad agency, which boldly told our executives about its plan to control the top 5 websites in Japan for online advertising purposes. My replacement website was titled "Archipelago", a description for insular Japan borrowed from Alexander Solzenitsyn's novel "The Gulag Archipelago". At that moment, Joichi Ito was a bit player, virtually unknown who made his first fortune quietly from the British imperial spy apparatus. The GCHQ, for those who have not kept up with the Brit spooks, has more recently been directly implicated in the Russiagate scandal against Donald Trump, the rise of Huawei out of colonial-era Hong Kong, and John Podesta's excursion to New Zealand for the false-flag staged at ISIS mosques in Christchurch, plus a player in Ghislaine Maxwell's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, and the hidden hand behind the Negroponte neocon brothers and the MIT Media Lab. Therefore, this logical thread suggests that the British top queers aka the Rothschild-Goldsmith cabal were ultimately behind the murder of Aaron Swartz and before that the arson that killed banker Edmond Safra, patron of the Aleppo biblical and Torah scholars opposed to the Illuminati State of Israel. The Illuminati fingerprints are all over the Epstein-Wexner-Maxwell affair. Absurdity always accompanies evil, that is provided by Joi's sister Mimi, a cultural anthropologist at UC Irvine who "studies" geek "culture", for instance, computer gaming without her having any clue of how cheats and points are traded for money by these ethically stunted young criminals spending all their hours in game parlors (to avoided being tracked down by cybersleuths). Then again, she's probably spent a lot of geeky hours in the dark web trolling for virtual goods to sell to sexually bent gamers. It's hard to believe that top universities are permitting pseudo-academic "researchers", but then again whenever I meet intellectually devoid professors I start to believe in the improbable. Brit Fags Now what does British-Australian intelligence have to do with child porn during Joi Ito's early Internet days in Tokyo? I can recall one of my sub-editors who was married to staffer at the Australian Embassy expressing her dismay at embassy cocktail parties, where the male staffers (to the disgust of their wives) boasting about their outrageous sexual exploits against little brown boys and girls, in a game of one-upsmanship between cringeworthy pedophiles. That was in the same time frame that several European diplomats were arrested at their home-country airports for possession of child porn. One Spanish offender, who was second secretary at the Tokyo embassy, was caught bringing in a couple of suitcases full of Japanese child-sex videos, which included Caucasian men raping sub-teens and even infants. The Japanese yakuza-owned studios were the world's leading producer of child rape and S&M videos, available in uncensored format only for export. The underground trade and file-sharing over the Internet at his PSY operation (TWICS would have detected massive online porn) should explain how Joi Ito endeared himself to the high-end pedophile studio known as the MIT Media Lab. In that early era of the Internet, videos were too large for file-transfer and so shipments by TNT overnight air-express (the American founder of TNT was a serial rapist of underage Filipina girls). Ah, yes, those golden days of underage rape across Asia from Japan to Thailand. Pressure from the Interpol forced the Japanese pedophile video industry to go underground. Many outsiders have wondered what accounts for the grotesque genres of Japan's porn industry including elaborate knot-tying bondage, dripping candle infliction of pain, student gang-rape of teachers, 100-to-1 ratios of men to lone woman in the semen coverage rituals called bukkake, scatalogical poop fests, golden showers, female ejaculation, "new-half" trannydom and other demented rites with a rear-religious quality akin to Satanism? Partly because of racism payback whenever the more bizarre sex acts are staged by the ethnic Korean mafia out to humiliate the Japanese, much like how the Jewish cabaret owners in Weimar Berlin took out their race hatred against German Christians though deviant performances like the dog leash walk, scat-eating coprophilia acts (still enjoyed by Eric Schmidt and his Google technology freaks from Stanford), transvestism, leather and rubber fetishes, lesbian shows, and so on. Underdogs can be rabid vicious mutts that need to be put down before their affronts to public decency bring on another race war by the majority against the criminalized minority. Koreans like the Jews indulge in complaints against discrimination while failing to address the question of provocation, as seen among many newer minorities in the USA with their Antifa posturing and nudity at gay-lesbian marches. If one was to be accepted, learn to live with others instead of assaulting their sense of decency. CV of a Faker Back to the Joi boy, the socially approved innocent who was appointed at Harvard Law as a "professor at Practice" (whatever that means): "Ito is chairman of the board of PureTech Health and serves on several other boards, including The New York Times Company, the MacArthur Foundation and the Knight Foundation. He is also the former chairman and CEO of Creative Commons, and a former board member of ICANN, The Open Source Initiative, and The Mozilla Foundation. Ito is a serial entrepreneur who helped start and run numerous companies including one of the first web companies in Japan, Digital Garage, and the first commercial Internet service provider in Japan, PSINet Japan/IIKK. He has been an early-stage investor in many companies, including Formlabs, Flickr, Kickstarter, littleBits, and Twitter. He has received a lifetime achievement award from Oxford Internet Institute" Impressive for a college dropout." Blah-blah-blah. Show us the credentials. Joi Ito is one of those tech con artists, spewing optimistic predictions to gain the naive trust of gullible investors and foundation grant-makers, not an educator or researcher, which is exactly what's wrong with the over-leveraged, absurdly hyped tech sector and the Ivy League, where inventiveness is mainly focused on ridiculous e-commerce scams, redundant apps and counterfeit digital currencies. The bust of tech shares is looming, promising to wipe-out bigger than the dot.com bust. Sayonara, Elon and Zuck! Last and least mentionable: "Ito has been awarded honorary doctorates from The New School and Tufts University and is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. Ito is a visiting professor of practice at the Harvard Law School." So he failed attend classes in his freshman year at Tufts and now Ito has a doctorate from that same prestigious institution of higher learning. What a disgrace for Tufts! Pull your kids out of that fraudulent diploma mill. Because on Christmas I hope to give the university president a silver beggar's cup to piss in. Another point that hasn't been raised is: Japan does not permit dual citizenship with the USA making his appointment at MIT an even bigger stretch. (Whereas dual citizen status is granted to Japanese descendants born in Peru and Brazil, based on those nations' fascist alliance with Imperial Japan in the run-up to World War II; meaning the USA is still considered an enemy state.) As a Japanese citizen, Joi Ito cannot hold U.S. citizenship. A non-citizen with no college degree with prestigious Ivy League postings? How is this possible without payoffs? Why not appoint John Gotti's grandson to the Wharton School? Another mongrel from the Jewish kennel Joi Ito's obscure origins involved a father who immigrated from Kyoto to work as researcher for the Detroit auto industry. Somehow his mother became particularly close to Stanford Ovshinsky, a battery designer and solid-state "inventor" (who never studied electrical engineering), who "treated Joichi Ito almost like a son." Hmmm. This so reminds me of that other Polish Jew named Bernard Krisher, the Tokyo correspondent for the Moonies' UPI, who gained notoriety as a pedophile during the Cambodian orphanage affair. Ovshinsky's father was from Minsk, then Lituania but now Belarus, in that same border regions dominated by the Frankist-Shabbetean sex cult, discussed in my earlier articles on the Epstein-Wexner family origins. To those familiar with Operation Paperclip-Overcast, Ovshinsky's "inventions" in solid-state electronics are not impressive works of a creative genius, given the fact that most of those "inventions" were developed in wartime Germany and hijacked (without an iota of concern for copyright). During World War II, Ovshinsky worked at the Goodyear plant in Litchfield, Arizona, where he modified lathes to produce artillery shells, and in the postwar period worked for the defense contractor Hupp Corporation, an assembly plant for Army vehicles. While maintaining the pretense of being an "inventor", Ovshinsky was one of dozens of contracted managers with the Defense Department procurement program, transferring captured German technology to the private sector. Ovshinsky later established an electronics parts company in Nara, Japan, presumably with Mrs. Ito as his translator and guide-companion. Therefore with the connections to Operation Paperclip, which morphed into DARPA, Joi Ito grew up as one of the Pentagon brats just like Jeff Bezos, the favorite boy of his maternal grandfather Lawrence Preston Gise, a founder of NASA and DARPA, as disclosed in one of my earlier articles for rense.com. It's called nepotism, folks, based on "family secrets" reinforced by incest. These hand-me-down "geniuses" are mere managers and secret-protectors, not bright lights. Another one of these Jewish family heirlooms is Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, the NASA-awarded "science genius" with a thick Yiddish accent, whose "uncle" with the Kirshenbaum clan at Mount Sinai hospital's research center facilitated her research on a microscopic worm. Inside Plato's Cave Joi Ito is surrounded by a crew of likewise dodgy characters. The petition is online, but The Daily Beast's Taylor Hatmaker has done a great job of condensing it: "Some of the prominent signers of the petition to keep Ito include former presidential candidate Lawrence Lessig, Whole Earth Catalog creator and tech icon Stewart Brand, managing partner of MIT Media Lab's venture fund Habib Haddad, MIT Media Lab founder Nicholas Negroponte, LittleBits founder and CEO Ayah Bdeir, and Harvard genetics professor George Church. Church previously apologized for his own connections to Epstein, chalking the relationship up to 'nerd tunnel vision.'" Tunnel Vision? There is actually light at the end of a tunnel. These benighted ignoramuses are more like those blind believers inside Plato's cave. So now that George Church is outed as an Epstein researcher, we're right back to "transhumanism", which is not a transition for humanity but a genocide-in-planning that can more accurately be called the Post-Human Future, the roboticization of our simiian species to function like "intelligent" machines, albeit with less efficiency. Among that list of MIT Media Lab notables one can detect a Turing machine logic that reduces human cognition to electro-mechanical imaging, processing and patterning programs as opposed to our mammalian intuitive natural perceptions and surreal leaps of logic. The Media Lab promotes interdisciplinary attempts to render thought into algorithms, essentially in denial of the human propensity to a higher calling as well as our negation capability to hold out for a more demanding solution than what's on offer, or as Nancy Reagan put it: "Just say no." And that is exactly why the managerial class prefers mechanics over human intelligence. At a macro level, the post-human agenda is to turn a maddeningly complex human society into an ant colony. George Church, molecular biologist specializing in genetic editing, CRISPR, was co-initiator of the BRAIN project launched by President Barack Obama, which is (face it, folks) a continuation of MK-ULTRA, using plug-in chips to fine-tune cognition after the initial experiments by those pioneering Doctors Sydney Gottlieb with LSD studies and Ewan Cameron through electro-shock therapy produced such excellent results in the assignments for Mark David Chapman and Whitey Bulger. An innovator of chip-DNA synthesis, Professor Church has been the director of research projects at the Department of Energy (DOE), National Institutes of Health (NIH, genomics) and the Wyss Institute of Synthetic Biology. For those who recall my Pizzagate series, Hansjorg Weiss is the Swiss philanthropist who ran Synthes, a producer of prosthetics, implants and biomaterials, which was hit with medical malpractice suits for illegal experiments that killed several patients. Wyss was a friend and associate of John Podesta until he was scared off by the risk of blackmail following sexual performances at private showings. Herr Doktor Victor Frankenstein, where are you now that we need you? To simplify the difference between the mechanistic post-human approach to science and a humanitarian philosophy of existence, one can look at MIT Lab researcher Aya Bdair's "little bits" concept, which represents proteins and other long molecules with manipulable magnetic blocks, something like Lego pieces without holes and pegs. Linking her twisting pieces gets the player to falsely assume that biology is mechanical and that its biochemical configurations can be represented through mathematical modeling. In opposition to this constructionist viewpoint, life is energy, electromagnetic and biochemical via synapses and cytokines, moving with ever-changeable fluidity and reactivity to the point of being uncontrollable by external intervention, being both dancer and the dance, and at the quantum level ultimately inter-dimensional. A computer cannot begin to model those levels of complexity and therefore replicating even the simpler life-forms is beyond the grasp of the futurists. Jeffrey Epstein's sex life reflected that mechanistic outlook, with insertion of an organ in to another organ (as put in the Robert Burns poem that influenced "The Catcher in the Rye", "when a body meets a body passing through the rye") with casual sex as a mere physical function, devoid of the energy dimensions of hormones, nerves pulses, emotional longing, psychological imaginings and mammalian affection. His research quest for synthetic biology spawning of sex cyborgs reflected his mental isolation from the immense range of expectations, perceptions, reactions, emotions and communication that arises spontaneously in the love between a man and a woman. A cyborg made of "beyond meat" protein and methyl cellulose controlled by artificial intelligence algorithms is not in anyway equal to the human it is modeled after. After all the experiments with sex cyborgs are done, one fact will remain: the Post-Human Future is a dead end. Negroponte's inhuman past in Cambodia Can you recall Colonel Kurtz, with Marlon Brando in that role? "The horror, the horror!" Like that PT boat crew sent to terminate the madman gone native, I was one of troopers who stumbled on Nick Negroponte's encampment inside a sprawling Cambodian orphanage. The path to it, however, with dirty cops pointing guns to my head. Media Lab founder Nicholas Negroponte was our Col. Kurtz, a core organizer of a pre-puberty predator ring in charge of kiddie porn sent by encrypted files from his computer lab at a Cambodian orphanage on the outskirts of Phnom Penh. At the time over several years after 2002, I was a member of an unofficial "The Fathers' Group" of anti-pedophile activists who defied bribed-off Cambodian police and sex fiends at the U.S. Embassy to crack a child-sex ring run by Bernard Krisher, former UPI chief based in Tokyo who was a Moonie, and Nicholas Negroponte, who set up an Apple computer-learning center with video equipment and an outdoors transmission tower in the schoolyard, to transmit rape clips of boys as young as 6 years old. Shutting down his child-sex coven was a brutal challenge involving murders, assaults and threats, eventually resolved only through the intervention of Her Highness Queen Monica (the Cambodian orphanage affair is recapped at the end of this essay). This notorious affair, which was sanitized over but never punished by the State Department, CIA or FBI, served up proof of Nick Negroponte's role as a purveyor of child-rape porn to elite government officials and their corporate supporters. Without an ounce of official support, our team used night-vision videocams to provide the honest Cambodian cops with the identities of sex predators entering and leaving bordellos pimping sub-teen children. Later, the investigative journalist Wayne Madsen traveled with me to the orphanage where teachers informed us of "weekend parties" for visiting American diplomats and corporate executives in 5-star hotels in Phnom Penh. Dozens of children were sexually violated, with a core group of compliant victims of both sexes of "average age 10 years old." Jeffrey Epstein is a statutory rapist, Negroponte's group are by comparison monsters, who compounded their criminal spree by arranging the murder of Aaron Swartz, the heroic Reddit editor who broke into an internal link on the MIT campus to hack the wire feed of child-sex videos prior to encryption. The corrupt New York police, of course, attributed his hanging by the neck in his apartment, even though the belt was several sizes larger than his waistline. Another assault from the Krisher-Negroponte lackeys in Phnom Penh resulted in a roadway ambush outside of Sihanoukville on a New Zealand collegue in the father's group, who had met with Madsen and also knew an informer inside the Krisher child-care NGO network in Phnom Penh. In the middle of night, he was beaten by the paid-off cops until blood poured out of his ears and all 10 fingers were bent back out of their sockets in the hands. He eventually died a few years later due to the long-term effects of those injuries. The pedophile coven were disappointed that he had survived the attack. The paid-for hit was in retaliation for one of their own volunteers at a pre-school nursery who had visited him to disclose the sexual abuses by the Krisher ring, which included the boss's son and daughter-in-law. That informant was soon thereafter executed and they tried to assign the blame to our member. The coven suspected our Kiwi friend of bribery, never considering that one of theirs might have pangs of moral conscience about organized rape sanctioned by the highest officials in the U.S. government and its intelligence operations in Southeast Asia. The existence of Cambodian child-sex tapes was detected by reddit editor Aaron Swartz who pursued the clues from San Francisco to New York and onto Cambridge, Mass., to the MIT campus sprawled along the dirty water of the River Charles. As I have pointed out in the past, he was then working on research grant for the Edmond Safra foundation, under the cover of open access to academic research but his personal passion was to expose the politically connected pedophile. The late tycoon Safra gets a lot of bad press from Illuminati-controlled publishers, but in reality he was one of few traditional Jews to resist their perversion of the Jewish community and the Hebraic tradition. Although I've been vocal on this issue, it really is the moral responsibility of faithful Jews to launch action against the perverse and criminal heresy. The Original Blackfriar's Bridge Negroponte is an Italian surname that translates as the Black Bridge, named for the wooden passage over the dark waters of the channel between the Greek mainland near Athens and Euboea Island in Aegean. The Venetian fortress in Chalkida, Euboea or Evvia, is therefore called Negroponte castle. The eponymous Greek Jewish family of Nick and John were perhaps servants of the Venetian lords. The charismatic "messiah" Sabbatai Zevi was born in Smyrna, a port on the Turkish mainland, but his family were originally from Greece, and possibly served as spies for Venice following the fall of Euboea to the Turks in 1490. In contemporary history, the Negroponte family's most prominent members are the brother Nicholas with the MIT Media Lab and John, the former neoconservative UN Ambassador for George W. Bush. By no coincidence, the Podesta family, headed by John and Tony of Pizzagate fame are also long ago Venetian Jews, whose surname derives from "pedestal", the corrupt concierges in charge of audiences with the Doge (ruler) of Venice. That city, being allied with the Eastern Roman Empire rather than Rome, was a center of barbaric sorcery and witchcraft, as implied by the custom of wearing masks to disguise one's going to places of illicit activity, run by the Khazarian Jews, a black tradition kept up by the Negroponte brothers. A large population of Khazar Jews emigrated from the region between the Caspian Sea and Georgia to flee the rival Turks (both tribes have origins in what is now Xinjiang, western China). A stream of Khazar Jewish refugees moved through Venetian Euboea northward to the Black Sea to form large communities in greater Poland and Lithuania, the homelands of the Epstein and Wexner families respectively. Others like the Negropontes remained behind, living under Turkish rule, when in the early 18th century the self-proclaimed "messiah" Sabbatai Zevi recruited much of Greek Jewry to convert to Islam as the "Donmeh" or hidden Jews, first disclosed in recent years by Wayne Madsen in his field reporting in Turkey. The Shabbetean cult was, as discussed in my earlier articles on the Epstein-Wexner affair a promoter of pedophilia, group orgies and homosexuality, introducing these to the Hapsburg court and to the Frankfurt-Hesse region of Germany, the center of financial power for the Rothschild house of usury. This deep history of a vicious warped cult explains my description of them as a coven. Global Population Reduction Bill Gates has been a guest, at least on one flight, aboard Epstein's Lolita Express Boeing 727. Their secretive encounter goes a long way toward understanding the hidden agenda behind transhumanism, which is the planned genocide of the major of the human population, which will eliminate more lives than all previous genocidal events in past history. Never mind Himmler's drop in the bucket compared to the Gates-Epstein plan for mass destruction. The very tact that androids are going to be needed as workers and personal assistants indicated at least 7 billion people are being targeted in the soon-coming clean sweep. The biowarfare labs certainly have sufficient deadly pathogens to accomplish the task while the elites will be in Earth orbit or on moon bases. "Transhumanism" has genocidal implications of technology-enable savagery at its most extreme, which is why I prefer the more accurate term of the post-human order. In this regard it is quite fitting for Joi Ito being a Japanese citizen to be running the project much like the"modernization campaign" at Nanking achieved by eliminating its native population in 1937-38. It may seem financially inefficient to spend many millions of dollars on technology-enhanced sexuality when humans are willing to that task for free or, nowadays, the price of dinner and hotel room with a Tinder date. Investment in human-resembling cyborgs makes more sense in terms of the population-reduction agenda of the Gates and Rockefeller foundations. Jeffrey Epstein served on the board of trustees for the Rockefeller University, one of the original brain trusts for eugenics and population control of lesser subtypes. From the perspective of reducing the total number of births worldwide, this anti-humanistic agenda has been advanced through investment in promoting sexual identity movements, since homosexuality and transgender options result in birth-rate reduction without surgical intervention. Partner androids, far more advanced that present-technology sex dolls, will be the means to maintain the illusion of normative coupled relationships while precluding the potential for breeding offspring. Due to religion-based belief systems, sex-partner cyborgs will not reduce population growth in Muslim and Catholic developing economies, which oppose popular use of condoms and birth-control pills. By logical deduction, human-resembling sex androids are being develop for after the great kill-off of 7 billion people. Sex cyborbs are, therefore, part of post-genocide social engineering for the planned survivor group, to prevent another wave of human population expansion, in other words, a steady-state demographic system. Given the time-factor of development of "near-real" substitute spouses, say within 20 years, you my reader are scheduled to die in the soon-arriving genocide. So eat, drink and be merry, or join the resistance. Anyone with children or grandchildren had better choose the latter, due to your moral obligation for family preservation and social responsibility. While the festering genocide is still in preparation, one must activate a counter-strategy and prepare for war. My father, as I mentioned, was in the American military unit that broken up the gates of Dachau, which in fact are not as bad as things to come in our brief moment of time. Remember this is a battle for the human future against insanely evil forces, so none can be spared for the crime of consenting to the agenda. The world has recently seen the deliberate release of cloned mosquitoes that transmit ovary-destroying toxins into the human bloodstream during the Zika scare in Brazil and the ongoing vaccine-induced ebola "epidemic" in West Africa and now the Congo region. Under the cover of modern medicine and vaccination, the Rockefellers, Gates and Epstein's convoy of tech companies, are preparing catastrophic campaigns of sneak mass murder. The coming struggle is on two fronts: Against criminal science and also in strong opposition to Muslim and Catholic ideological propaganda against birth control in the developing countries, along with the "escape valve" of migration to the developed economies. Population-exporting nations, regardless of their natural wealth, need to be quarantined by sealing borders, so that the rising populations threaten their own national leaders and religious fraudsters who promote a high birth rate. Until those false values are squelched and realistic policies, there will be no peace or sustained development and therefore compromise is futile. Be very clear that a new world war is shaping up, and planning and preemptive action needs to be taken against the two extremes: the advocates of population growth and the supports of genocidal population reduction. The global population will have to decline, but this should come about by consent and social policy, not by either terrorism or genocide. Jeffrey Epstein left behind time bombs that must be defused and junked. There are hundreds of thousands of madmen like him among us, and they must be rooted out from positions of power and influence, or there will be hell to pay in days and hours to come.
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 29th April 2018
30/4, Cactus Drive, charts are live! Charts are live!
Top 10
“One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa is somehow still holding steady at #1, without a video. I mean, sure, it has a lyric video, but I refuse to believe this is really succeeding this much. I haven’t heard this song more than once or twice on the radio. I don’t think this’ll last.
We have our first massive top 10 debut, with “No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande. I’ll say for now that I’m happy this has a shot at the top, but I’ll elaborate later on.
“Nice for What” by Drake appears to have stumbled a spot from last week, now at number-three, and, sadly, I don’t really think this can rebound. There’s something about this song that really isn’t very “hit song” to me.
Nono Nono by No Nono featuring No No fortunately has backed down a space to number-four.
And so as “Paradise” by George Ezra, now down to number-five. Who really cares about that song though?
“Lullaby” by Sigala featuring Paloma Faith somehow moves up a space to number-six, off of... nothing, really. I suppose people gravitate to mediocrity.
Am I happy that “Answerphone” by Banx & Ranx and Ella Eyre featuring Yxng Bane has jumped a whopping 11 spaces to number-seven? No. No, I’m not. Am I mad? Nah, not really. Do I care? See above.
Our second massive debut here is “2002” by Anne-Marie, breaching the top 40 at number-eight. Sadly, this is probably one of the worst songs on her album, Speak Your Mind, but we’ll see how this goes with the album boost next week.
“The Middle” by Zedd and Grey featuring Maren Morris continues to make moves, three positions up to number-nine this week.
We also have the one-spot dip for “Psycho” by Post Malone featuring Ty Dolla $ign to number-ten, which will quickly rebound next week because of the album Beerbongs & Bentleys finally being released.
Climbers
Two of last week’s debuts, “German” by EO and “Like I Do” by David Guetta, Martin Garrix and Brooks, have scaled up six and eight spots to #24 and #32 respectively. One’s trash, one’s treasure, but that’s the only notable thing about the climbers here. There’s only two notable jumps outside of the top 10, so let’s get straight to the falls.
Fallers
There was a damn massacre here with so many undeserving songs being destroyed this week. But I suppose for every “These Days” by Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Macklemore and Dan Caplen falling 10 spaces to #15, we have a “Let Me” by ZAYN dropping 17 spaces to #37 after the debut. Other falls include “God’s Plan” by Drake down six to #23, “Friends” by Marshmello and Anne-Marie and “Feel it Still” by Portugal. The Man both down 19 to #25 and #27 respectively (yikes!), as well as “Look Alive” by BlocBoy JB featuring Drake (bad week, huh?) down eight to #28, “Be Careful” by Cardi B down 11 to #35, “IDGAF” by Dua Lipa down 10 to #38 and “SAD!” by XXXSPECIALLYTERRIBLEPERSON down 10 to #39, hopefully dropping out next week. The song’s tolerable, but less X on the charts, the better, and I think everyone can agree with that.
Dropouts
As I said, absolute massacre: “What I Wanna” by MoStack from #34, “Sanctify” by Years & Years from #35, “All the Stars” by Kendrick Lamar and SZA from #39 and “Breathe” by Jax Jones featuring Ina Wroldsen from #27.
Nicki Minaj had a particularly bad week: “Chun-Li” from #26 and “Barbie Tingz” from #31.
The Greatest Showman as well, with “A Million Dreams” and “Never Enough” from #33 and #36.
Also, we have a very big milestone here for the UK charts – for the first time in ever, we have NO ED SHEERAN IN THE TOP 40! “Perfect” dropped out from #38, meaning Ginger Satan is no way near the charts... for this week only, I imagine, since the music video for “Happier” just dropped, to my dismay. Let’s enjoy it while we can, I suppose. There’s something else we’ll have to enjoy for this one week, but we’ll get to that in a bit... well, actually, right now.
Returning Entries
“I See You Shining” by Nines returned at #40. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s discuss the tragic death of pioneering and innovative DJ and talented EDM producer Avicii, who committed suicide at the very young age of 28. My heart goes out to his family, friends and fans, but I’ve grieved on Twitter, so right now, we just need to talk about the songs that returned this week, excluding “Hey Brother” because it barely missed the top 40.
#36 – “Levels” and #26 – “Wake Me Up!” (featuring Aloe Blacc) by Avicii
Out of these, “Levels” is definitely my favourite for its beautifully bright synth tones accompanied by neat handclaps and the burst of energy you come to expect from good EDM drops. It’s a simply fun, bouncy dance track that has been in rotation ever since it became big, known for its almost eerie vocal sample of Etta Jones that was later wasted by Flo Rida in his own hit song. No matter how somewhat creepy the isolated vocal sample can feel, the lyrics about getting a good feeling really put you in the mood for a head-bopping party jam. Then all the random synth tones appear and it gets somewhat all-over-the-place, and it’s just fantastic. Despite my preference, I still have to give props to “Wake Me Up!” here, with its vocals from soul singer Aloe Blacc and guitar from Mike Einziger of Incubus of all people, for defining Avicii’s signature folktronica sound, with that quickly-drowned out pumping guitar melody and Blacc’s great crooning over what seems like a simple folk ballad until the handclaps come in and you realise that this isn’t your typical folk song. No, this is an Avicii song, with the iconic synth line in the drop and a pulsing beat that shows how even though Avicii’s music was new, interesting, unique and different, he could still drop the bass as well as a bigger EDM producer like Calvin Harris, David Guetta or Tiesto. Both songs are some of the best modern electronica I’ve heard, and I’m pleased that Avicii’s legacy will live on via his catalogue of greatness. Rest in peace, Tim Bergling.
NEW ARRIVALS
#34 – “Familiar” – Liam Payne featuring J Balvin
As much as I can’t really be bothered with the 1D boys anymore, I’m glad this charted because otherwise, despite it being a busy week, this would have been pretty boring for me. I’ve heard all of these songs before, and I don’t really care for many of them either, so I apologise if my reviews seem rushed. I’ll admit to being a broken record, especially when half of these debuts are from J. Cole, or kiLL Edward or whatever he’s going by these days. Anyway, that doesn’t matter – what do I think of Liam’s follow-up single?
I think it’s hilariously bad. There’s this autotuned mumbling from J Balvin trading vocals with Liam Payne with his Godawfully weak falsetto over this non-descript Latin pop beat. There’s one absolutely awful moment here – J Balvin, drowned in autotune, says “brain” in harmony with Liam’s less-effected voice, so it creates an unlistenable millisecond. Then J Balvin’s rap verse, because of course, where he once again mentions “Mi Gente”, his last hit. A bit desperate there, JB? This is unbearable if you want to take it seriously, but if you don’t, this is hilariously incompetent. I’d recommend this if you want a good laugh.
#30 – “Photograph” – J. Cole
J Cole went platinum with no features, and he’ll probably do it again looking at his album’s numbers... and look, the dude’s a talented MC, he’s great at the mic, and brings some great delivery and flow to the table, but most of the time, his music, especially the production, is really boring. Like, REALLY boring. I gave his most recent album a 3/10 simply because it made me not want to hear J Cole or his pitch-shifted alter-ego speak another damn word again. Is this any different?
Nope! Probably even worse, honestly, as we start with a skittering flat trap beat under J Cole’s “singing” before he starts admittedly decently rapping, despite repeating a lot of his lines – seriously, his first verse is four bars then two shorter verses that are repeated for no reason – and going somewhat off-topic (if there ever was a topic), with a delivery that seems way too infused for such a downbeat instrumental. Even Cole’s second verse is full of rhyming words with themselves and line repetition, before he repeats the second part of his first verse... Jesus, these are the worst bars I’ve heard from this guy probably ever. For someone who is big for being lyrical, this is lazy, uninteresting and most importantly, trash! Ed Sheeran’s “Photograph” is so much better, and yes, I’m endorsing Ed again and I hate myself for it.
#28 – “ATM” – J. Cole
If Cole can copy-paste verses (and songs for that matter...), does that mean I can copy-paste reviews?
After a bunch of spoken vocals from the woman who appears a lot on this album, we have what is assumingly a sample nasally singing for half a minute, until we get to J. Cole once again repeating himself as if he were a broken Tickle-Me-Elmo, with that monotonous “count it up, count it up, count it up, count it” hook over rattling hi-hats and other trap-rap clichés, and subtly autotuned verses, until there’s a complete silence... and the beat doesn’t even change. That’s not how a beat switch either works or is supposed to impress, Cole. Typically, there’s a transition and you know, an actual production alteration. Come on, learn from Kendrick and get James Blake on the phone. I think you need him. Oh, yeah, after this beat “switch”, he also discusses abortion right before saying his Rolex is scorching, because consistency in the verse’s topics don’t exist, apparently. Once again, I get the appeal, but I don’t want to bore myself anymore. Thankfully, J. Cole debuted another track which I actually quite like.
#17 – “KOD” – J. Cole
This is the title track from his latest album, which is fitting because it encompasses what J. Cole does throughout the album – repeat himself over trap beats. However, this time, Cole repeats himself over trap beats incredibly well, with straightforward spitting and a really catchy hook that ends up just being a slightly flawed trap banger. The second verse repeating itself a lot was a bit unnecessary, and the brief racist slur was... questionable, but he definitely had good intentions there, I think. No matter what he’s doing, Cole succeeded once in this album to make a song that bumps without being boring or even having deeper subject matter. It’s just a great, fun song – the only one we’re getting from Cole this week. Oh, yeah, and the female vocals come back on the outro with kiLL Edward for some kind of weird interlude thing on the album. I’m not complaining, just questioning.
#8 – “2002” – Anne-Marie
Boring pop singer with Caribbean inflections shoehorns references from some of the 1990s’ and 2000s’ biggest pop songs (none of which came out in 2002, by the way) to write a somewhat cringeworthy chorus, with nothing else of note in the verses or instrumental. Do I really need to say anything else? I mean, there’s awkward guitar loops, trap hi-hats, ugly synth tones and fake handclaps as producer Steve Mac’s pathetic excuse for a beat, I suppose... but yeah, this is nothing more than a short interlude on a mediocre album, that probably should not have been released as a single. Like the album, the only real comment I have on this is that it exists, and my life would not change if it didn’t.
#2 – “No Tears Left to Cry” – Ariana Grande
The lyrics here are pretty vague, and I’m not really a fan of the initial effects on her voice, but yeah, this picks up with a funky synth melody and a fast seemingly ‘90s dance-influenced drum pattern, while Grande doesn’t bother enunciating yet somehow still performs fantastically, even on the hook which has much less variation from the verses for my taste, yet is still decent, and the choruses after the first definitely try to improve that with some extra synth noise, but for now, I think I’ll continue to like this for pretty much no reason other than how great the instrumental is on the verse and how much I love Grande’s vocal performance here. I’m indifferent otherwise, and I have no real comment on this. It’s still good, though, I’m not sure entirely what to think of it or its longevity. Sorry for this review being a bit scattered but I’m kind of conflicted here. In fact, I’m sort of confused. Let’s just say that this is decent and move on before I get an aneurysm.
Conclusion
I really want to give Avicii Best of the Week and Honourable Mention, but that’s not how this show works so I guess it goes to J. Cole for “KOD”, with Honourable Mention going to Ariana Grande’s “No Tears Left to Cry”. The Dishonourable Mention is probably “Familiar” by Liam Payne and J Balvin, which is entertaining in its lack of quality enough for me to rank it above the Worst of the Week, “Photograph” by J. Cole. What do I predict? Hopefully Janelle Monáe, probably Post Malone. Hopefully Green Day fans can get “American Idiot” to return in time for Trump’s UK visit, probably they’ll fail miserably. We’ll see next week. Goodbye!
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