#also we didn´t had internet for a while

[tmzrkstan]

the idol!reader stuff eats so bad but barely anybody does it

I am particularly passionate about this type of reading. And taking advantage of the moment, I leave here an old idea that I never gave a chance to. ;)

nct dream (hyung line) working with ex idol!s/o.

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genre: idol!reader, ex to lovers (?), smutty, adult language.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

✭MARK:

Looking from a professional point of view, it was such a great opportunity. You could finally get to do another kind of concept, show other side of yours. Besides, you knew very well how much of a talented idol Mark was. Your team almost beg you for you to do it, them just freaking out with the attention y'all would get.

Even when you accepted there wasn't really a lot of meeting with your ex. Untill the MV shooting day at least. There you were, watching Lee from far while finishing your make up. He was receiving instructions from the director.

"Hey..." your voice sounded quietly.

"Hi!" his eyes turned out similiar from a lost puppy. "You look nice... I mean, it´s nice seeing you." he just got a short smile from you. "Your part it´s really great"

"Of course, you must think so since you composed it" he stammered a bit before correcting himself "No, I meant you made it a lot better."

Before any more chances to say anything the director made you two start the work there. Both of you acting the way you were supposed to. Inside, you were annoyed and still feeling a litle hurt, on the Mark´s side, he was feeling awful. He knew it was his fault that the break up happened. You were the most understanding girlfriend ever, since you knew what beeing an idol means. But you also got tired of waiting for your turn, to get attention. He lost weeks not even calling you while on tour, but you didn´t. Always texted and videocalled him.

After a lot of fighting you gave up and clean the way for him to focus just on that. Lee really tried to see as the best thing for you both but he was suffering every day since. His members made him notice who the jerk was. He smiled like a child on Christmans morning whwn you agreed to collab with him. It was the last chance and it would be worth.

Hours passed out, your ex complimented and took care of you all day long. Those who didn´t knew about your relantionship were surprised by how a gentleman he was with you, who just tried your best not to fall for his sweetness again. Especially when you found a letter on your bag during a pause.

It was his hand writting and his true feelings. Apologies all over it, confessions like that he writted the love lyrics of the song for you and that he never stoped loving you. Admitted he was wrong and childshid and was ready for trying again if you do too.

''Oh boy'' you thought as seeing how good he was with words while they were on paper.

The last ''Cut!'' was heard and you carefully whisper at him "We can have dinner, that´s all." you bet he was happy. "Better not wase my time."

"I would never dare to do it again."

✭Renjun:

Beeing in a relantionship with him was sweet, comfortable and lovely. But unfortunally this only was like this when you still a trainee. When you had a chance to debut it all changed. Schedueles, dates, you lost time together and all the fighting started. You just didn´t talked with each other anymore since the end. Until you worked together in a survival reality as judges.

Everybody noticed how you were always on opposite sides and skewered each other for your different opinions. There were even compilations of yours fights, that carried a lot of chemistry and tension, on the internet every week and the audience loved this intrigue.

Eventually, they ended up having to help the same team, which made them put their fights aside and gather even behind the cameras looking for a solution to help the poor trainees.

"I can't understand your point" you rolled your eyes laughing "Of course you never did." he huffed "It's not all about you, though you may think so..." you were discussing what would be the best direction for a choreography.

"You're so childish! It's obvious that this step is better! You take it, however, you lose your balance at a certain point and end up almost falling, if it weren't for him catching himself abruptly. Eye contact was present and you felt your mouth go dry and your hands sweat.

"You should be more careful!" he puts you back on your feet, still holding tight to your waist. "If not what?" he looked down at you "What?" you then repeated "If not what will happen?"

"I'm going to have to teach you a few things…how to respect your elders." "How?" He sighed, smiling with some anger. Took you to the wall attacking your lips aggressively as he squeezes your waist again and you lose your fingers in his hair.

✭Jeno:

Starting to date with your co-worker wasn´t a really a good idea, especially if him was another MC from the TV show you worked on. But who could blame you for not resisting to Jeno? I mean, look at him right?

You should´ve said "no'' the first time he asked you out, but was too late now. After a few months you two had a big fight because of diferences on toughts and were obligated to work together for at least five weeks more. You runaway for as long as you could but after a quick tour on Asian you had to get back. But it was clear that he wasn´t going to make this easy.

A lot of smiles and flirting talks run free during the meeting for planning the week and when you were on make up session.

"Just shut your mouth up!" you yelled as soon as the stylists leaved the room.

"Why? Need it shut for you to kissed?"

"I´m gonna punch just on the midle of your face."

"The face you love." he smiled all playfull.

"I simply hate your attitude and confidence, you´re not that all." you roll your eyes as you listen to him laugh. "What?"

"It´s fun... the way we were making out on that sofa a few days earlier and now you are saying this stupid thing..."

"You are stupid." he got up, walking to behind your chair and facing you through the mirror. "Really, darling? Only because we had a silly fight you think that?"

"You know it wasn´t silly" you sigh. "For me it was, anything that keeps me away of these beautyful lips it´s silly..." he pus both hands around your shoulders, caressing exactly the way you like it.

"Don´t...don´t touch me." you hesitate before spinning your chair to his front. "I´m not going to fall for your charm again."

"So I do have a charm." his high was cut in half by his knees touching the carpet. "You fall once, sweetheart." he blinked slowly before biting his lower lip. "Let´s not promise things we can´t deal with later, ok?"

The door was open after three knocks, reveling the hairstylist team. He came back to his chair, with a cheeky smile. Oh, he was so sure you would be his again, just in a matter of time...

✭Haechan:

You really didn´t wanted to finished things with Donghyuck, but unfortunately beeing famous demanded a lot. When you noticed your, just recent, relantionship with him was making Haechan a lot distracted from his work you felt guilty. With wich power could you make him risk everything if you got into his life few days ago? So hard, but you did it. Lied and end it all because of "mental confusions".

But here you were, getting ready to practice a dance stage with him for an award concert. The fans picked you two for it, based on your aparently "friendship", and you get bad to your side if you recused.

Very diferent from what you expect, he was normal around, at least for his general behavior. He joked around with the dance instructor and tried to make you laugh, he wasn´t awkard at all. However, you felt very strange inside.

Luckly, you guys were quick with it and finished the day earlier. You grab your things nd almost run to grab the elevator, the same he stops putting one hand between the doors.

"Oh, isn´t such a coincidence?" he pressed the bottom on the metalic wall.

"I guess..." you smiled weakly.

"I didn´t get why you so weird around me..." he sigh slowly. "I should be the one to be like this, since you broke my heart few days ago, right?" even though his words looked painfull he was smiling yet. "You really didn´t had pitty for me, y/n..."

"Haechan, I..." your felt like falling as the elevator lurched and its lights were replaced by a darker, apparently the emergency one. "What´s this?" you grabed your bag stronger.

"Don´t worry, this one always do something like it, just wait a few minutes." he put his back at one wall.

"What? Why didn´t you told me before?" he looked down "I ask the same to you..."

"Come on, it´s not the same thing!" you frowned at him. "All we can do it´s wait, i swear it happended before."

"Fine... but I won´t be listening to you atacking me or my motives during this time!"

"I wouldn´t do it." he shrugged. "Even hurted, I know you didn´t mean anything that you said." "What?" the man came closer "It may look like not enough time, but I nkow you well by now. You were concerned."

"About?" he looked up "Me giving all of me in this...what did you called it? Hookup time."

"You can´t be sure of that." you tried to get back but he grabbed you wrist "But I am, as much as I decide to forgive you for this." he put one hand on your cheek "Also sure that you missed me how I missed you..." And everything happened quickly, the touch of lips, the lights and the elevator coming back and the doors opening in Jaemin and Jisung's faces who watched everything with a shocked face.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

[wedriftlikelonelyplanets]

Fic Writer Interview 💕

tagged by @1425fivefive, @formulaoceanthank, and @formula-fun PLEASE KNOW i love you all DEARLY.

SORRY THIS TOOK ME AN ACTUAL ETERNITY TO POST??? I DIDN"T REALIZE I"D SAVED IT AS A DRAFT INSTEAD OF PUBLISHING IT?!?!?

How many works do you have on AO3?

Tragically, only 4

What's your total AO3 word count?

28,112 - I've only started publishing fic this year do not even come for me *sob emoji*

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Telling Me I Gotta Behave Now (362)

We Can Do This Shit Forever if it's Lust, Yeah (176)

What's a God to a Non-Believer (156)

I'm so Lonely and You're the Only One Who Knows Me (113)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, yes. I'm still not used to like...people reading or perceiving my work so it can be like...weird and wild and uncomfortable for me to reply to comments because I'm hiding my face behind my hands being like "oh my god you liked my writing?!?!"

I'm working on replying to comments more, but I have the attention span of a gnat and sometimes I forget I even have fics out on the internet. Also once again, being perceived is IN FACT terrible.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

What's a God to a Non-Believer probably? It's not like super angsty but it definitely ends with Charles feeling some type of way (negative), with an implication that Oscar and Lando are going to get in a bit of an argument at the end.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'm So Lonely, probably. It's not done yet, but it's just Lando and Oscar being incredibly sweet with each other, and trying to figure their shit out. I do have ACTUAL fics that will have like established happy endings as well.

Do you write crossovers?

No, but I do write AU's

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. People have definitely like...misunderstood parts of what I've written, but never any hate.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do write smut, despite the fact that sometimes writing smut is like having my fingernails pulled out because GOOD LORD it's a lot of effort sometimes.

As for what kind of smut I write? Idk I kinda have really only written a lot of relatively rancid smut because like...why not. There's just something to be said for being the worst of yourself and also the best of yourself and figuring all of that out with someone. It's very clear if you read anything of mine that I do love fucking around with power dynamics a bit (a lot), and i absolutely have a freak4freak agenda.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

My friend and I are co-writing a novel (kind of....I don't write anything ever)

What's your all-time favorite ship?

AMELIA why do we have one of the same favourite all-time ships. Veronica and Logan are like...yeah.

But also Ronan/Adam/Kavinsky from The Raven Cycle, or Ronan/Gansey from The Raven Cycle in the past as well.

Now it's probably Lestappen and Landoscar as far as F1 RPF goes

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

UHHHHHHH unfortunately probably the Charlos Divorce Fic mainly because I cannot currently stand to look at Carlos' face right now. Also possibly my weird non-traditional a/b/o Charlos fic again for both similar reasons, and because it came together in a stroke of insanity and I haven't had inspiration since I had to go through the race calendar for the duration of time that they've been teammates to try and figure some stuff out.

What are your writing strengths?

Writing yearning and longing, I think. I find something so incredibly satisfying in writing this like aching longing for someone or something that you might not be able to have, or you can't have for a while. Addressing all those internal feelings that ache deep down.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. LORD HELP ME sometimes I feel like I don't know how to write a single sentence of dialogue because like...how do people talk to each other?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't really speak any other languages aside from INCREDIBLY basic Canadian french, so I generally try to keep it to like....nicknames or simple phrases so I don't like...embarrass myself.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

F1 RPF? There might be something shoved somewhere far back in the recesses of fanfiction.net about The Mortal Instruments but like.....I wrote one chapter of a fic and never revisited it.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

UHHHHHHH none?

If I went back and re-read the entirety of The Raven Cycle again, I'd probably consider writing something in that universe, but that's a lot of effort.

If I went with ships, I mean...I can't really say I haven't written for certain ships, I just haven't published anything with those ships yet, because I've been struggling with not being able to finish things disease.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

HONESTLY.....I was reading "We Can do This Shit Forever if it's Lust, Yeah" yesterday and like....it's PROBABLY the best piece of writing I have published right now. I do love the threesome fic...IN fact I love the threesome fic dearly but I have trouble looking it in the eye.

Low pressure tagging: @carbonmono,@thelettersfromnoone, @verstappentime, and anyone else who wants to participate. There are some people i'd love to tag but also IT MAKES ME ANXIOUS.

[oneoflokis-blog]

Well: I can see I haven´t posted here for a while... Though I haven´t abandoned this blog yet! 🙂

Yes: I made a couple of posts here last year, 2023, didn´t I? One on the interminably boring celebrity sex scandals in the UK, and one on the much more savoury topic of a fish curry, recipe given in a book by Greg Palast! Which I still very much recommend.. 🙂

Yeah. The trouble with blogging for me, is that for the past decade or so, my access to the internet (including local 4G mobile services, which I was for quite a while reliant on) was decidedly patchy. 😏

I wanted to do a lot more blogging during the pandemic years, when I would definitely have had the time: only found out that the mobile internet service deteriorated even more during that time! 🙄

I only got a home broadband service, really by the start of last year. But by then I had got out of the blogging habit... I even got out of the Twitter habit, once my mobile failed, just before last Xmas, and I couldn´t get another one until past New Year.

And I am afraid that the political situation this year in the UK certainly did not encourage me to start on Twitter or ¨X" again. I make a few occasional posts or likes there. Even though my negect probably lost me a few online relationships. For what they´re worth. 😏 The only thing I´ve really been keeping up with for the whole year has been Youtube.

I may join Bluesky in the New Year of 2025, now that Elon has gone off the deep end, and a couple of his competing sites have ¨blown up¨. We´ll see.

But I´ve realised that I´ve built up a whole selection of ¨web essays" and other thoughts, really since Covid started in 2020. They´re all on my Keep notes, and haven´t found a home yet! So I think I will find them one on here...

Plus I´ve been catching up on things I hadn´t had a chance to watch before, on streaming services. For instance, I have very recently been watching the 2023 superhero satire, The Boys, on Amazon Prime. (I must say, it´s a lot better than Alan Moore´s Watchmen!) I should like to write a public review of it, once I reach the end of the seasons.

And I´ve also written a couple of, more musings than reviews, on the latest Joker movie, Folie à Deux. I didn´t go to see that at the cinema, as I didn´t think it was worth it. But I definitely kept up with all the reviews of it, particularly those in the UK broadsheet newspapers...

When I have seen it, I will finally write a review specifically of the movie. But before then, I will put up my musings thereon, which I think are rather more interesting, certainly to me (And other Neopagans like me, I hope): because not only do they cover the reasons I think that the latest Todd Phillips offering was a flop; they cover much deeper themes that I find far more compelling: such as those of archetypes, of myths and of fairytales. And of Tricksters.. 🙂

#personal #explanationsforabsence #streamingseries #movies

[john-barkston]

more rwby rant you can scroll past!

i think what makes me the most disappointed with this stupid show is how they treat Ruby herself LOL I am in S5 now and boy I know this is universally the most hated season but it's definitely lost it's footing. S4 was also very lackluster in the Ruby department. There are plenty of times she could have been the acting character or moved the story along while still building up the other characters, but nope. She just sat in the background and only became relevant in the last episode. S3 had two moments literally built up to be Ruby moments that were zapped away by Jaune at the pinnacle. Like??? What were they thinking. If you hate your main character you really should not keep writing the story. It's dead in the water if you forget your main character is supposed to be there or be the driving force / main presence of the show! You can spin off the the story to focus on the cooler characters you like more, but YOU HAVE to have established your MC so well that it doesn't feel like you're trying to write them off and RWBY does not have the breathing space to do that. The part that got me to write this in the first place was the conversation she has with Oscar while he's training. He asks her "how is she okay with all of this?" and instead of showing anything, she gets a 10 minute speech that leads to nothing and then she leaves, like "Tee Hee I'm only happy go lucky and ~strong~ because the writers haven't actually done anything with me byeeee" and then INSTEAD OF SHOWING RUBY HAVE A REACTION TO THE TALK like self doubt or realization or anything, it has OSCAR AND OZPIN LITERALLY TELL THE AUDIENCE that she's so remarkable isn't she? She's just a good 'ol main character who hasn't done anything! BUT SHES SOOOOO BRAaaave AND INSPIRING. ????????????? FROM WHERE? She hasn't said or done anything since S2 that would be considered inspiring. She didn't fight in the tournament, She didn't have a moment with Pyrah before Jaune stole the show. SHE DIDN"T EVEN SEE PENNY DIE. When she went after Torchwick she just kind of fucked off w/o reason and never explained herself (some leader) We dont get to see her talk to Yang about going to Haven, we don't see her planning with JNR, she just sits back and does nothing all of S4 WHEN SHE was the one coming up with TEAM ATTACKS in S2. It would have been great character exploration to see her not vibe with JNRs semblances well and mess things up only to then have Jaune step up at the strategist UGHhhhhhhhhhhhhh - anyway I'll stop before I keep ranting. There is more and I'm sure there will be more for me to complain about but tha'ts what my little blog on the internet is for

[fraimetheship]

jeffmads month Day 28: Disney

[prettygreenpills]

Julie falling asleep on reader while watching movie 🥹🥹🥹

awh that would be so sweet!

characters: Julie Ranmore x fem!reader

run down: you are having a movie night with Julie, she is a little clingy and falls asleep on you

warnings: no warnings, fluff

word count: 1,4k+

request status: closed

Your body fell onto the huge bed on the hotel room you just entered and you didn´t really care about anything. Your face was hidden in the soft white pillow and you breathed out heavily, hearing the doors close.

“Hb dd you knob thib room was ebty?” you asked from Julie when you knew that she was inside of the room. Then you rolled over on the covers and looked at the almost manager of the hotel.

“I saw the keys on the reception,” she explained to you and she took off her blazer, throwing it onto the chair which was by the table in the corner of the room.

“And what are we going to do here?” You asked her as you were watching her hands working on the buttons of her skirt. She let it fall onto the ground and stepped out of it, looking at the black fabric laying on the floor.

Julie stayed only in her thighs and in her purple shirt. She placed her knee onto the bed where you were laying and climbed up to you, letting her body fall onto the mattress. You moved a little aside to make her more space until she didn´t get really comfortable and then you moved back to her, leaning your cheek on her shoulder.

“We will watch a romantic film hm?” Julie asked and you lifted your eyebrow, looking at her.

“Are you sure about this?” 

“Why wouldn´t I be?” She asked you back and reached her hand out onto the bedside table. You used the opportunity and moved upper on the bed, knowing what Julie needed when you were watching romantic films. You leant your back on the headrest and waited for Julie to get back to you.

As she turned back to you, you realized that she was holding some little snack. It was a little chocolate stick and you smiled at her as you were watching her opening her own sweet. The corners of your mouth lifter as she bit onto the sweet and then you took the TV remote into your hand, trying to find some film. You connected the TV to the internet pretty quickly and then ran through the suggestions.

“Which one?” You asked and Julie nodded her head to the right.

“That one,” she also pointed out her finger and you had to smile. You started the movie and placed the TV remote besides you from the other side, since Julie was laying on your left, not thinking about moving away from you at all.

Both of you were watching the movie and you looked at Julie from time to time. She was still chewing on the sweet and you leant closer to her with your face, looking at her face.

Julie understood what did you want and she frowned a little, but placed the sweet to your lips. You smiled at her even more than you have been smiling at her before and you took a bite.

Sticky caramel covered your teeth and you decided to not take any other bite from Julie. She was sharing the idea because she turned to the screen again and she continued in watching the film.

“Julie?” You whispered without looking at her and when no response came, you softly moved her shoudler. “Julie?”

“Yeah?”

“Did we lock the door and put the label do not disturb on?” You asked her, whispering.

“Yes I think so,” Julie whispered back and then she frowned. “But maybe I should go and check because if Hugh finds out...” she rolled her eyes and you lifted your upper body to allow her to go.

Julie smoothly got out of the bed and you adjusted the covers while she was walking to the doors. You got under them and when you heard the doors open, you were already waiting for Jullie.

You reached your neck out and you could see her in the room. She was really quietly locking the doors and you adjusted the covers for her. When Julie saw it, she smiled at you really sweetly and tried to walk over to you and the bed as quietly as it was possible.

She slid under the covers you held in the air for her and then you coveres her. Julie leant her body on you this time and she rested her head on your breasts, watching the movie.

“Are you tired?” You asked her, looking down at the brown haired woman. She just nodded a little and you raised your hand and brought it to her hair. You took one part of it and started to play with her hair, while Julie was watching the movie.

You were thinking about making her a little braid. You adjusted her hair so it was all free and she wasn´t laying on it. Checking on her face if she was okay with it, you didn´t find any sign of that she wouldn´t be.

Softly doing her hair, you had your eyes on the screen. The movements were mechanical, you didn´t need to look down which part was supposed to be on the left, on the right or in the middle.

“Oh no,” Julie gasped and covered her mouth with her palm. You looked down at her, confused and then you leant closer to her.

“What happened?” You asked her and Julie jawned.

“They are going to break up...” she whispered and couldn´t take her eyes off the screen. You just shook your head, being lucky because Julie didn´t see it.

Once you were done with her hair and you were sure it was all okay, you reached out your hand. Right in front of Julie. At first, she moved a little away from your hand and you didn´t understand why. You leant closer to her to look her into her face and you realized that her eyes were pinned on the film.

“Julie-”

“Shh!” She whispered and you rolled your eyes.

“I need your hair band,” you whispered and watched Julie´s hands moving. She took the hairband off her wrist and she handed it behind herself, to you. You took it from her and staying quiet you put it in her hair, making sure it wouldn´t fall off.

Julie rested her body on yours and you hugged her tightly. Watching the film together, you realized that Julie couldn´t stay still and she kept moving.

“Julie can you stop please?” You whispered to her and Julie turned into a more comfortable position.

“I am sorry.”

“It is okay,” you whispered to her and kissed her into her hair. Julie kept watching the movie and you could feel how she was breathing. Her chest was raising and falling slower and slower every time you looked at her. Once, when she stopped moving at all, you swallowed and then took a deeper breath.

You leant closer to her to be able to look into her face. As you saw her nose, you smiled to yourself and breathed out quietly, because you didn´t want to wake Julie up.

She was laying on you, asleep. You were really carefully breathing and your lips widened into a smile. The only woman you were happy with and the only woman you cared for, fell asleep in your arms, or to be exact, on your chest while watching a movie. You couldn´t stop smiling and you closed your eyes for a second, enjoying the moment.

You really carefully reached your hand out for the TV remote and kept checking if Julie wasn´t waking up. Your eyes were still on the woman and once you were holding the remote in your hand, you got back into the same position, searching for the red button on the remote.

Your thumb found it quickly and you really carefully turned the TV off. Your mind was full of hope that Julie wouldn´t notice the sudden silence and she wouldn´t wake up. You stayed in silence and waited if she would react somehow or not.

When the reaction didn´t come, you smiled for yourself and you realized that your eyes were also pretty heavy. You let them close for few seconds and then you opened them again to take a deeper breath.

“Good night Julie. I love you,” you whispered to her simply and in that second you appeared in front of a huge golden gate, which opened for you and welcomed you in your fantasy world.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

.

******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

.

******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

[kissedbylove]

masterlist

One Shots, Imagines and Fan Fictions.

CELEBRITIES EDITION.

I DO NOT CLAIM THIS STORIES AS MINE, every right goes to the writers!!

if you don't want to be listed send me a message and i will remove you.

new (n)

CHARACTER MASTERLIST

Tom Hiddleston.

favorites | fluff

rules | fluff

tear me up | smut

can't sleep | fluff

yes, sir | smut

heart in my hands | fluff

if i didn´t have you | fluff

happy birthday!  | fluff

the kiss that broke the internet | smut, fluff

drunken truth ot what did i do? | smut

cooking | smut

red | smut

dance with me  | fluff

traffic | smut

ouch! | fluff

interview | fluff

late to the party | smut

werid like that | fluff  

slow hands | smut 

take care of her and i’ll take care of you | smut 

insomnia | smut 

fuck it, let the whole world know | smut 

so, you missed me? | smut 

roaming hands | smut (n)

Tom Holland.

one simple rule | smut

overstimulation | smut

no knock knocks | smut

too hot or too cold  | smut

web shooter | smut

spill your guts | fluff

late night dreams | smut

keep it hidden | fluff, agnst

pretty as a polaroid picture | smut

try again | smut

unexpected | fluff, smut

video games | smut

do you also notice? | fluff

something new | smut

we've got chemistry | smut

two-a-days | smut  

little things | fluff

thigh riding | smut

truth or dare | smut

eating you out like a buffet | smut

clit pierced | smut

when two becomes three | smut

can´t look away | smut 

through the phone | smut 

adjoining hotel room | smut 

surprises | smut 

sitting on tom´s face | smut 

running in circles | fluff, smut 

riding | smut 

irreconcilable differences | smut 

treatin’ you right | smut 

the first taste | smut 

overstimulation | smut 

rinse and spin | smut 

girls can be horny too | smut 

unlocked | smut 

strip pong | smut 

you can bet on it | smut 

pour it out | fluff 

i’ll be your good girl | smut 

why it's fun to be a tease | smut 

bad mood | smut 

suck | smut 

teasing | smut 

thirsty tweets | fluff 

dirty shirley | fluff

siren | smut (n)

insta live | fluff (n)

mugshot | fluff (n)

tom taking a break | smut (n)

you bent over him | smut (n)

low cut top | smut (n)

it’s thirst tweets | fluff (n)

risky insta live | smut (n)

so god really is a woman | smut (n)

car crash | agnst (n)

cum for me | smut (n)

overstimulation with tom | smut (n)

addicted | smut (n)

piece of art | smut (n) 

i'm sorry | fluff (n) 

tease | smut, fluff (n)

leaked | fluff (n)

LONDON BOY | fluff, agnst, smut (n)

prosecco courage | smut (n)

hands up | fluff (n)

libido max | smut (n)

play fighting | smut (n)

tom's girlfriend | smut (n)

vibrator | smut (n)

spanish | fluff (n)

quarantine anniversary | fluff (n)

sunset | fluff (n)

so much hate | fluff (n)

good girl | smut (n)

all i need | smut (n)

long days | smut (n)

good morning | smut (n)

friends with benefits | smut (n)

secret party | smut (n)

this is awkward | smut (n)

minor inconvenience | smut (n)

don’t tease me | smut (n)

had to recover | smut (n)

the boys are sleeping | smut (n)

how i look on you | smut (n)

Sebastian Stan.

convince me | smut  

shameless | smut  

I like it | smut  

one night | smut  

shut up and sleep with me | smut  

boss troubles | smut  

pregnancy prank | fluff

asleep | smut    

manners pt,3 | smut    

call out my name | smut        

on the wooden desk | smut    

body electric | smut  

romanian fun | fluff

behind closed doors | smut    

wired autocomplete interview | fluff

another interview | fluff

bored | fluff

that's the icing in the cake | fluff

îți place asta | smut  

round the block | smut  

surprises | smut 

too long | smut 

teacher’s pet | smut 

mob!seb | smut 

4am workout | smut 

listen to my voice | fluff 

kissing | fluff  

piggy back ride | fluff 

panel | fluff 

men's health | smut 

i think he knows | smut 

friendly favour | smut 

'sebastian' instead of 'bucky' | smut 

actress | fluff (n)

thank god it’s ending, and we’re beginning | fluff, agnst (n)

uncertain | smut (n)

set | fluff (n)

emergency | fluff (n)

bedtime stories | fluff (n)

losing you | agnst (n)

stuff bunny | smut (n)

baby fever | fluff, smut (n)

act my age | fluff (n)

soft | smut, fluff (n)

morning sickness | fluff (n)

daddy’s pretty girl | smut (n)

wedding interviews | fluff (n)

silk | smut (n)

reading thirst tweets | fluff (n)

soft mornings | fluff (n)

i’ve always loved you | fluff (n)

Chris Evans.

velvet love | fluff

the perfect man | fluff

the proposal | fluff

the perfect dress | fluff

all about that beard | fluff

sweet dreams | smut

make me a daddy | smut

years in the making | agnst, fluff

rough | smut

daddy | fluff

the best seat | smut

24hr trouble | fluff  

thirst tweets | fluff 

finders keepers | smut 

warm and welcoming | smut 

lost focus | smut 

eat you better | smut 

i wanna hear you | smut (n)

the instagram error | fluff (n)

distraction | smut (n)

who ever said anything about makeup? | fluff (n)

touching yourself | smut | (n)

fuck buddies | smut (n)

the smell after rain | smut (n)

provoked | smut (n)

calmant | smut (n)

Harry Styles.

music video | smut, fluff  

phone call | smut 

new seeds in the melody | smut 

just another day while quarentine | smut (n)

break the bed | smut (n)

truth or drink | fluff (n)

Dacre Montgomery.

rough hands | smut (n)

fanfiction and fun | smut (n)

shirt | fluff (n)

Jake Gyllenhaal.

panic attack | fluff

accident  | fluff

surprise, we´re married  | fluff

home | smut

chef & baker  | smut

bath time | smut

dirty mind | smut

honeymoon | smut

wired autocomplete interview | fluff

dating | fluff

gym time | fluff

morning sex | smut

comfort | agnst  

in front of your bed | smut  

riling | smut   

happy little accident | smut 

the risqué subway | smut

you're doing amazing sweetie | smut 

hair pulling | smut 

dominant | smut 

finals finale | smut 

on my mind | smut (n)

gold chain | smut (n)

motivation | smut (n)

Henry Cavill.

cardio | smut 

partition | smut (n)

first time | smut (n)

hatefuck | smut (n)

back from a run | smut (n)

tv | smut, fluff (n)

thick  fingers | smut (n)

talented tongue | smut (n)

Brie Larson.

star wars geek  | smut 

god is a woman | smut

crazy on you | smut

i fall to pieces | smut  

singing in the shower | smut

jedi realness | smut

needy | smut

Avengers Cast.

sleeping beauty | fluff (n)

feeling okay? | fluff (n)

kissedbylove

[funkymbtifiction]

hey, me again (the person you typed as SFP). Thanks for your respond. First of all; you are certainly right about me using fi-te, thats actually i am quiet sure about by now (even though i had some trouble seeing myself as a feeler at first because it is usually described that feelers are in general more empathic and i can assure you no person i know would ever use the word "empathic" to describe me)...

You sound like an NP in what you wrote here, yes.

Fi's appear stoic on the outside, but are a swarm of specific emotions on the inside. They are self-referencing; if something doesn't ignite an emotional response in them, they don't care and aren't particularly sympathetic from "the outside," hence why people call them "cold." But they are very easily insulted, if they're INFPs. Much more so than an ENFP, who will consider it through Ne/Te more often than Fi.

[abode-of-hope-and-despair]

Danganronpa soulmate au. Shuichi Saihara

Ok, this one is light, fluffy and a bit dumb. I like it nonetheless. Hope you do too!

~~~

Soulmate AU, where on your 16th birthday you get your soulmates name written on your wrist.

You were excited. Today at 2 am, presumably the hour you were born at, you would turn sixteen. You already celebrated your birthday with all of your friends and family and it was fantastic! The gifts were unwrapped and you absolutely loved `em! There was only one thing left though.

Your soulmate`s name.

That`s why you weren`t asleep. You insisted that you want to be awake when the name shows up. Your family didn`t argue, understanding how important it was for you. They went to sleep and you stayed at the kitchen, reading f/b and drinking f/d. From time to time, you looked at the clock and “awed” when it wasn`t the time yet.

‘Come on! Can`t you ran faster, time?’ you exclaimed in your thoughts. For oblivious reasons you couldn`t do it out loud.

You kept waiting impatiently and finally it was 2 o`clock. The book was put aside, the f/d was long forgotten. You raised your arm to the face level, feeling tingling sensation from the letters appearing on your skin.

A smile appeared on your face.

Shuichi.

Such a beautiful name. You felt it on your tongue and your smile widened. You liked it.

***

The last few days you spent trying to find your soulmate. It proved to be more difficult than you originally thought. Like any smart person you decided to start with social networks. Everyone nowadays have social network, right? Right. Anyway, you`ve been spamming everyone with a name “Shuichi”, wondering if they had “Y/n” on they wrist.

So far no one did.

It saddened you a bit, but you had no intentions to give up. You must find the love of your life no matter what!

***

A week passed by. No success. You started to grow nervous, honestly.

Did you miss one “Shuichi”?

Was he one of the people who didn`t use social networks?

No, that`s ridiculous! Unless…

‘What if he`s still a kid? It would explain it. But how much I need to wait?’ you gulped “Or… or he can be nonexistent yet! Right, my aunt met her soulmate when she was 33 and her soulmate, my uncle, were only 16. I mean, I can try to date someone `till he grows up… no, it sounds wrong. Argh!”

You were struggling mentally. Then you got a message from your friend.

“Hey, n/n! How`s your searching goin`? Found your man already?”

You sighed and wrote back “Nah. Starting to think he`s a toddler(“

“Oh, man. Maybe he`s just don`t likes social networks tho. Did you think about it?”

“F/n, stooop! It can`t be it!”

“You can`t know for sure. Maybe he was a target for bullying of some toxic easily-offended bitches for one reason or another and deleted himself from everywhere for safety reasons?”

“It doesn`t make things better for me.”

“Sis, listen here. Years ago, people didn`t even have Internet to help `em and guess what? They somehow found their soulmates. So stop being a dumb-dumb and go get yo boy!”

“Wow, such a great speech you have. But thanks! I think I know what to do.”

“Shudup, it was a great speech! Now go!”

You turned off your phone and smiled to yourself. F/n was right, you could find your soulmate even without Internet’s help. And you would do it.

***

You were running late to the meeting. It was a very-very important meeting. Still somehow you were late, because you got lost. Somehow. You were feeling guilty though.

You saw a school your friend told you about and sped up. Only when you reached the entrance you stopped running. You walked up to the boy waiting outside, trying to regain your breath on the go. You felt nervous, but also very happy.

Just an hour ago F/n wrote to you the good news – they found your soulmate.

How? Well, turned out your friend`s friend Kazuichi knew Kaito, who was friends with Shuichi Saihara, who was searching for someone named “Y/n” for a while. F/n found out this through conversation with Kazuichi and immediately notified you.

And here you were.

“Sorry for being late” you apologized, smiling sheepishly.

“It`s n-nothing, really! You`re here what`s more important” he replied.

You examined him. He was a bit on feminine side, which you didn`t mind. Not that you liked “manly boys” anyway. He had long lashes, soft-looking hair and adorable cowlick at the top of his head. His hazel eyes were looking at you both shyly and gently.

You fell in love on the first sight.

“Em, so can I see your wrist? Just to be sure” Shuichi asked you.

You nodded enthusiastically and showed him. A sweet little smile appeared on his face when he read his name. His cheeks reddened a bit when he looked up on you. He then pulled down his sleeve and showed you his wrist where it was written “Y/n”.

You giggled in delight, the sound of it made the boy blush more intensively.

“You sound c-cute” he said shyly. After saying that he immediately raised his hand to his head as if he wanted to pull down a cap or a hat to cover his eyes in embarrassment. He didn`t have one though, so he just covered his face with his hand instead.

You adored this guy more and more with each passing second.

“Says the one who is truly cute”.

It made poor boy even more flustered, but he managed to say a quiet “thank you”.

“So how come I couldn`t find you in any social network, Shuichi?” you decided to ask. The question really bothered you.

“You couldn’t? There`s no way. Maybe you overlooked me… unless…” he seemed to be thinking about something. Then he groaned “Damn you, Oma!”

“What`s this?”

“About a month ago, someone I know hacked my accounts and messed with them. He changed the names as well. It must be why you couldn`t find me, after all I couldn’t get access to them for a while”.

“Oh, that explains it”.

“Em… actually, I wanted to ask you the same thing”.

You looked at him confused.

“Why couldn`t I find you, Y/n?”

You started to think about it. Indeed, how was this possible?

Then a realization struck you.

“We-ell, you see… I actually didn`t realize I have a fake name on every account of mine and that such a thing can make me unfindable too, he-he…”

“You had a fake name all along and didn`t pay it any attention?” the boy exclaimed in disbelief.

“…yes” you muttered feeling ashamed of yourself.

Shuichi fell silent for a moment. The next thing you heard was his laugh. Your heart started beating faster and you felt yourself melt from such an angelic noise.

You started laughing as well.

Life was great.

[thekillerssluts]

Will Butler: “I am very American and that is my thing I have to deal with“

In times like these, where some of us are reflecting on what the future will bring and what role we can play to make it more bearable, Will Butler uses his new solo record “Generations” to ask profound questions in a very intense and compelling way.

As a member of the renowned Indie Rock Band Arcade Fire his fans quite often perceive the multitalented musician as an entertainer who likes goofing around with his bandmates and who gets carried away on all kinds of escapades on his instruments. Nevertheless, there is a very serious person behind that facade who is deeply involved in community work with a strong political opinion. Not only a Master’s Degree from Harvard in public policy can prove that, but also his engagement in countless events with political focus.

It was a special honor to chat with Will Butler about his new solo record “Generations”. An album which sounds quite joyous at first glance but has a lot to offer when you listen closely. We talked about how the Covid crisis affected his work and life, how he deals with the political situation in the US and how it is for him as a live enthusiast to not be able to perform his new record on stage:

Great to have you back with us! Last time you talked to my colleague Gabi about your first solo album “Policy”. That was quite a while ago.  

Oh yes, many years ago. Five years and a lot changed since then.

How is life treating you, how is the whole Covid crisis treating you?

It’s been weird six month. This summer I am in New York. The summer felt pretty good, it seems we are through the worst and people were out and about and going back to living their lives. Now fall comes and we will see what happens.

How does it feel to release an album in those times? We interviewed artists with quite opposite opinions. Some say people can´t focus on music at the moment as they are distracted with more important things while others say it’s especially important now to have the distraction of music. Which side are you on?

What I have been seeing is that people are very grateful for music that has come out, both a as a distraction but also as a spiritual nourishment, like some sort of comfort. Music sometimes works like food, where it comforts you and make you ready for the fight ahead. That side to me is quite beautiful.

Honestly, I was very thankful that you released that album. For me music is exactly what you just described, it gives me comfort and positiveness. It often helps to escape reality, although I have to say that your album “Generations” pushes you right into reality.

(laughing) Oops.

I have the feeling it´s not an album for pure distraction, it´s music you have to dive deep into and confront.

Yes, it definitely has an urgency to it. It is contiguous with the last four or five years which have been very intense, especially in the US but all around the world. So, it´s definitely coming from the same soil as this mad year.

I think you already started working on the album before the whole lockdown happened?

I finished recording the album on March 9, I thought that was the perfect time, so it was marked in my calendar. It happened that just a few days later New York shut down and went into complete lockdown. Mixing then took probably the next six weeks; half the record was mixed in Montreal. And suddenly we had to deal with a lot of things like schools closing, people had to figure out helping their parents and how to get help for other people. It was suddenly chaos and a terrifying time. That itself was complicated even though only the mixing was left to do.

Interestingly enough the record sounds as if it was written with all the things happening already in your head. It fits so much with the times.

Yes, I kept checking in with the record and I thought yes, it’s still the same world. So much  has come out of the police crisis, the refugee crisis happening at the same time, which is still ongoing. These where part of the impetus for the world we are in right now. The pandemic is particularly strange and not what I was imagining. It just adds to the weirdness that was already there.

I saw you live several times with your band Arcade Fire and also solo. You seem to be such a live person. The new songs sound to me like they’re made for being performed live. How do you feel about not being able to play them now?

I am really sad to not be touring this fall. I planned on touring the US before the election in September and October. I wanted to do political town halls where I can have local politicians and invite activists to talk about shit. Now I´m very sad to not be able to do that. It´s such a crazy time and I want to be useful, useful in a sense of being able to talk to people in different cities about important stuff. It´s hard to not have that toolbox. Also, the songs were very much written live. I booked shows before we went into the studio and we were trying to figure out how to play the songs live.

That sounds tough, so it´s even more devastating not being able to do it. What do you do now to raise your voice?

It´s hard. I´m not that good at the internet. I do some stuff online but this is not my natural medium. So what I’m doing is I´m talking to friends, my wife and I are also very active in our community. I think it´s very important to have that intimate connection to friends and family and talk to them.

Listening to your lyrics you seem to have a lot of questions but no answers. I think none of us do, but it makes exchange of thoughts even more important to make sure the head is not exploding.

Yes exactly. For me music is a force that is moving forward, by its nature it is a creative act. To me there is hope in the music and hope in the drums that are a bit of a propulsion. But there is not a lot of hope or knowledge in the head. I think that is a bit true for all of us these days. Our heads are completely toasted. Nevertheless, there is still hope in our friendships, there is still hope in our neighborhoods, there is still hope in our families.

It´s great that you talk about hope. That would have been actually my last question, what gives you hope? I think we all need something positive to not go totally mental.

Yes, very much though and you have to be grateful to see a lot of people around you being safe and remind yourself that you are not alone. Follow the ones who have a good common sense and surround yourself with the good ones out there.

What I learned is also being thankful for the little things and everything we took for granted for a long time. I, for example, took concerts for granted. I could never imagine that there is a world without live music. When I see videos from gigs it feels like another life.

You are so right. I could also never envision that this is going to happen and now I´m like what? It´s genuinely deeply confusing. It is going to echo in our lives for a very long time how strange this year was.

Talking about how important friends and family are – you have recorded “Generations” with the same solo band as “Policy”. Do you need that intimacy of knowing the people well you work with?

Yes, my actual touring band consisted of my wife’s sister Julie, my wife contributed a lot to the record – she is a great musician, and Sara Dobbs who is a friend and was our neighbor in New York. My drummer Miles is also part of it. There is a lot there, we’ve been playing together for five years now. There is a lot of instinct and call and response, that’s hard to manufacture. That´s how it works; you always work with the people you are familiar with.

You come from a very musical family with your grandfather Alvino Rey being a musician, your mom playing the harp, you and your brother in the same band. Is the title “Generations” referring to that legacy?

Yes, very much so. My mom’s grandfather was the last son of a Mormon pioneer from across the American west. He decided to be a musician and he encouraged his children to be musicians. My grandmother, who grew up in a family band, married the grand Alvino, they had kids who were all musicians, so there is a beautiful heritage that stretches back and such a deep privilege to have. But there are also very horrifying things you inherit, every country and every people inherit their different stretch of horrors, as part of why they are where they are. In America it is particularly situated around race and gender. I think we are starting to unpack those burdens as a country but this will take a couple of generations.

Tackling those inherited problems will be even harder if Trump will be elected again.

(sighs) That’s going to be really dark. I can´t predict anything anymore, my capacity for prediction is just gone but if it happens it will be really bad.

So now we are back at all the questions you have in your songs about the past, the future and where we are.

You are exactly right!

You have lived in Canada for quite some time. Do you sometimes wish you have stayed there?

No, never to be honest. I love Montreal, it´s one of the greatest cities in the world and I have friends and family there. I am very American and that is my thing I have to deal with – these are my problems, I´m a citizen here – let´s try to fix it to the extent we can.

Do you see the future differently since you became a father? You have always been a very political person but did something change since you have a family?

Having kids didn´t really change my vision of the past or future in a particular way. It´s not like now I make sure my kids have a better world but I feel like I have learned a lot about humanity, about nature and nurture and where humans come from and particular reasons why they are cruel and why they are kind and something about fundamental things like human love. I learned a lot about all those things in the past years. I feel a great responsibility – not so much to make a better world for them but to make sure that they´ve got their shit together as much as I can.

Unfortunately, we are running out of time. I could go on with you forever. I wish you all the best for the record. I really appreciate that you put some good music out, although it is something you have to get your head around and digest while swaying to the joyful tunes.

Thank you. This is something very meaningful. Thank you for letting me know.

I have to be honest I also need a deeper thought about your video for “Bethlehem” which you just have released.

I´m thinking in metaphors my whole life, so I was like let´s just cook our way through this one. Let´s just cook some of our anger and fear into a big meal.

To me at first glance it looked like a big feast inspired by Klu Klux Klan in a way. Watching it once I was not quite sure what feelings to have about the scenery; if it’s something positive or negative.

Oh wow, I was not intending that but that is not the worst vision of it. It was part of the goal to create something beautiful but also horrifying. It´s a horror film kind of comedy. It should be contradictory, so you are absolutely right with your feelings.  

So again, good luck for the record and let´s hope that we can get all back together again at a concert and celebrate and sing and shout together and enjoy the moment.

Thank you. Thank you so much. And yes let´s hope so (sighs). Fingers crossed on that one.

https://fastforward-magazine.de/will-butler-i-am-very-american-and-that-is-my-thing-i-have-to-deal-with/

[darknessisafriend]

Can I request y/n and Joaquin at the oscars since he just won, please? :) 💕

I LOVE SO MUCH ANON <3 

OMG his speech was to damn beautiful and moving, I’m so proud of him and he and Rooney were just so cute together *_* 

Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction inspired by what we see of these people, I do not claim to know them nor to establish this work as the truth about their personal lives, the realities might be completely different.

River would be so proud

Today was the big day; the day where Joaquin was going to be officially recognized for his work. You knew your boyfriend was going to win, he was receiving so much support from the critics, fellow actors and the internet that you were sure of it; and to be honest, you were probably among his biggest fans and you thought he should have won an Oscar for Gladiator already and even more for Walk the line.  

As for your boyfriend, he didn´t really believe he would win and as the ceremony got closer, his anxiety rose, you knew how uncomfortable he felt and you wished you could take that away; he was pacing in the living room fixing his cufflinks.

“I don't see why I would win when the others did such amazing performances...look at Adam he was so fuckin´ heartbreaking!” he maintained, you stopped him, encircling your arms around his waist.

“Rain was right when she said you had such a strong inner critic.” you smiled as you stood on your toes to kiss his lips, he laughed at your comment and closed again the gap between your mouths, his kiss was tender, loving, you open your mouth to let his tongue in, gently caressing yours; as you ran out of air, you rested your forehead against his, smiling happily.  

“I suddenly feel like staying here tonight...” he flirted against your lips, you chuckled, opening your eyes to look at him tenderly.

“Let’s save that for the after party, it will be even better...” you suggested on the same tone before separating from him, the driver was already waiting outside.  

Joaquin sighed as the car approached the red carpet, it was going to be a long night. Joaquin came out first and walked to the other side of the car to open to you, your eyes met briefly, encouraging each other; as soon as you got out of the car the flashes of the photographs bombarded you, of course they wanted a picture of the Oscars favorite with his date, this was probably the phase you hated the most, for at least 30 minutes you both will have to pose and smile while getting blinded by all those flashes, and you were also uncomfortable with being taken in picture. You felt Joaquin´s hand around your waist, at least you were close to him, you also rested your hand on his back, gently rubbing circles to soothe him as you both posed for more photos.

“I can´t wait for this to be over...” he muttered as you walked towards the entrance of the theatre, you laughed.

“And I can´t wait to sit down, those heels are so damn uncomfortable.” you added smiling at the journalists, you were so used to wear sneakers that heels always became a torture after a few minutes.  

You finally arrived inside and went to your assigned seats which were close the stage, in case Joaquin would win; you sighed pleased to be seated and far from all those flashes. You looked at your boyfriend and entwinned your fingers with his, he gave you a trembling smile, you understood his nervousness.

“It will be alright” you told him, and it was the truth, in any case it will be alright; if he wins his speech will be thoughtful and altruistic as always and if he doesn´t win then nothing will change, not his talent, his career or your love for him. You felt him squeeze your hand in response.

“Thank you, for being here with me.” he cooed looking at you enamored.  

The ceremony finally started and you were having a good time, each presenter was entertaining the performances were truly beautiful and positive, it reminded you of those at the Bafta´s.  

Until it was finally, the moment to announce the winner of the Oscar for Best Actor performance. You felt nervousness built in your chest, you wanted him to win; Joaquin didn´t move, as if he was frozen on his seat in anticipation. Olivia Colman entered on stage, holding the envelop, you actually felt like your heart was going to exploded in your chest as she spoke and made jokes, the suspense was just unbearable.

“And the Oscar goes to...Joaquin Phoenix for Joker.” she finally announced, the pressure suddenly lifted from your chest, you felt like jumping and cheering in the whole room, you excitedly looked at your lover, he couldn’t believe he had actually won, and you knew that secretly he felt blessed by such honor; you gave his arm a squeeze to encourage him as he had to go on stage.

He quickly got up and headed to the micro on stage, he took the famous statuette in his hands, you pinched your lips together, your heart swollen with happiness, gosh you were so proud of him. The audience was clapping and cheering ready to give him a long standing ovation.

“No, stop.” he started, you knew he hated to be praised like that, and standing in front of so many people could only add more to his anxiety right now.

“God I’m full of so much gratitude right now...” he spoke his voice shaking, all the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he acknowledged his fellow nominees.

“But the greatest gift that it’s been giving me, and many of us in this room is the opportunity to use our voice for the voiceless” he paused, his voice slightly trembling with the emotion of the moment, you didn’t know what he planned to say in his speech, he had decided to think about it all by himself and keep it as honest as he could.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the distressing issues that we have been facing collectively and I think at times we feel or may to feel that we champion different causes but for me I see commonality, I think whatever we’re talking about gender inequality or racism or queer rights or indigenous rights or animal rights we’re talking about the fight against injustice...”  you nodded; he was right.

“We’re talking about the fight against the belief that one nation, one people, one race, one gender or one species has the right to dominate, control and use and exploit another with impunity” he continued with conviction, you couldn’t help but join the audience in their applause, he was so right, he always had such peaceful and loving approach, preferring to join forces rather than confront points of views that were in the end similar in their struggle, his speech was truly beautiful, covering so much of the current fights but also praising the beauty of humanity; this was the real Joaquin, always so honest and caring, you couldn’t stop smiling.

Then he paused, his eyes searched the room, there was something more he wanted to add, and somehow you felt his emotions and understood that he was going to talk about his brother River, you knew it was still something very hard to talk about for him.

“I just...I want to...” you felt tears coming to your eyes as he struggled to speak, you could see on the giant screen the tears in his eyes “when...when he was seventeen Riv...my brother wrote this lyric, he said run to the rescue with love and peace will follow; thank you.” he finished on the verge of tears, you blinked yours away, he had managed to say it even though it was very hard for him.

As soon as he disappeared backstage, you got up and headed there to, you couldn´t wait to congratulate him and above all you wanted to hold him in your arms, he had been so brave, so strong to stand for what he believes in but also to talk about his dear brother.

You finally saw him among all the people backstage, he looked lost in his thoughts, until he noticed someone coming in his direction and the second he recognized you, he closed the gap between the two of you, almost collapsing in your arms, he embraced you tightly, your hand went up to caress his curls, you could feel his heart beating fast against your chest.

“I´m so proud of you Joaquin, I´m so happy, you deserve it, truly” you murmured in his ear between the kisses you placed on his jaw.  

“I miss him so much.” he gulped against your skin. You felt his tears wet your skin, he was crying, so you kept holding him in your arms, gently rubbing circles against his back until his cries calmed down, he lifted his head, meeting your eyes, he was so grateful to have you by his side.  

“River would be so proud of you, I´m sure he´s up there celebrating with a big smile on his face” you told your boyfriend, looking at him deep in the eyes, his eyes were wet but full of happiness, and a smile started to form on his lips.

“With all this shit I´m famished now” he joked trying to lighten the mood, drying his cheeks with his palm, you gave him a loving kiss, caressing his cheek.

“Well, that´s great because I´ve heard they made delicious vegan burgers” you winked before taking his hand to head to get them, the both of you happily laughing and eager the continue the night with his family.

Joaquin lovers list:  @oneeightysecond   @arcticmonkais    @amourtiara @sirianfromsixties         @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face   @live-love-loki   @lyoongx  @skaravile   @jaylovesbats @niniitha-ah @cumberbitching @dirrtyginger @valentina15                                                                                                               

[magicrowiswritingstuff]

"Screw ups" - Damian Wayne x female!reader

Summary: The reader hates everything associated with love. No romance novels or movies would every cross and survive her path. She hates seeing couples kissing in public, hates seeing how her friends find their loving partners and only talk about that from then on but nevertheless she still tries to support them. But then she falls, she falls hard. And from all the people in the world it had to be Damian Wayne, her best friend. Someone she had sympathized with because he felt the same way about all this stuff. But now she wasn't sure anymore if she really hated all this stuff.

Warnings: swearing (reader swears A LOT in this)

Category: fluffy angst (?)

Words: about 11.000

Note: Reader and Damian are in their late teens/early adult years. They go to school/university together or something idk Note 2: I really tried to make Damian´s character authentic (even though it´s an AU … sort of) but I still think it´s kinda iffy ... but I guess it´s better now then before I rewrote some of it thanks to @quillsareswords​ advice of using thesaurus.com and rewatching the movies he was in. Nervertheless I hope whoever is reading this enjoys it since it was a lot of fun to write.

_________________________________

"Screw ups” - Damian Wayne x fem!reader

"No way" you huffed and crossed your arms before your chest. One eyebrow was raise as you looked at your friends, one of them holding a DVD case out to you. Big white letters spelled out the title: Titanic. "You all know I hate these kinds of movies. I thought we had agreed to watch anything else during our movie nights?" You and your closest friend group decided a long time ago to meet at least once every two weeks to watch one movie together. Where you would meet cycled through the group at first but now you would just meet by the person who picked the movie that time. And one condition you established was: Every movie was allowed as long as it wasn't primarily a romance movie. You had to settle on 'primarily' because otherwise all your friends wouldn't have agreed. But Titanic definitely didn't fall into that. Under no circumstances would you ever watch it. Your friends looked at themselves and snickered before turning back to you. "You really thought we didn't notice?" Confused you narrowed your eyes. Something was up. "Notice what?" "Oh my god, you really think we are blind, don't you?" one of them said with a shocked face. You couldn't tell if it was staged or not. But what you knew was that you probably wouldn't like the path this conversation was heading. "What the hell are you talking about?" You slowly grew annoyed, especially when your friends began to giggle again. "We saw you listening to 'All of Me' from John Legend." In an instant your eyes widen and you could feel your cheeks getting hot. Fuck. "No, you didn't! You couldn't... because I don't listen to that crap" you stumbled over your own words as you tried to deny it. But you had already lost the debate because it was true and they knew it already. "Don't try to deny it, (Y/N)" one said. "Yeah, we all saw the way you look at him." It felt like your heart stopped beating for a second. Your hands and feet suddenly felt so cold while you could feel the heat rising inside your chest towards your cheeks again. Fucking dammit, why were you blushing so goddamn much? "Who?" was the only thing you could say even though you already knew the answer. And they knew it too. "Who? You really think we are blind and dumb!" one of your friends said with pouty lips. "Who, you ask? Gotham's one and only billionaire's son Dam-" before they could finish their sentence you put your hands over their mouth, shushing them. "Don't you dare say it out loud! I'm not looking at anyone!" "Ow, it's so cute how you still try to deny it." You growled, the awkward heat from before was replaced with hot rage. "I'm not fucking cute! And everything you say and think is not true!" Good, why were you still trying to deny it? It had no use anyway. They would never let it go. They would never let you go. "It's so heartwarming!" "You definitely have to join us on a double date!" "I can't believe I'm living to this day! Witnessing (Y/N) having a crush." "But why did it have to be Damian? He's so cold." "No, they match perfectly! Two stones that will warm each other’s heart." "Stop it!" you yelled. "It's not cute or heartwarming it's fucking humiliating. I don't like it one bit and would gladly change my feelings back." It was silent for a few seconds before all your friends faces stretched into huge smiles. "She admitted it! She said she has feelings!" You only groaned and let yourself fall onto the coach before the TV, no longer listening to all their chit-chat. You knew you shouldn't have listened to that sappy song in public. Even with your headphones on it was stupid of you. Now they would never let it go. Oh god, they will make you watch all their favorite romance movies! And talk about their relationships endlessly. About dates they went on or poems they found and liked. Yikes. No, only because your body made you feel this way whenever you saw him didn't mean you suddenly liked all this shit. It was still fucking annoying and dumb. It was still something you didn't want for yourself. Of course you loved your friends but that was something completely different. For them you would do almost everything. You listened to them when they told you about their partners or dates and you always tried to be supportive. And you did the same for Damian. He was your best friend even though your body, your feelings demanded more. But you still didn't like it. You hated it. You would never watch a romantic movie or read a romance novel. You would never get roses and put them into a vase to see them slowly die over a few days. You would never run through the world tinted in pink. But you couldn't help it sometimes. You had found that song on accident. And you wanted to click it away but then you heard the first few words and it lulled you in. It made you feel like a prisoner. But it felt so good too. God, you were disgusting. "Guys, guys! We have a problem." Your eyes darted back to your friends who still stood in a circle and talked excited about you. "What?" You bend forward a little and worried what they were plotting again. "(Y/N) will never ever act on her feelings! She will never confess!" Oh no. You stood up before anyone else could speak up. All the attention was back on you. "No way, don't you dare tell him anything about this." "Oh, you admitted it to be him!" They started giggling … again. You huffed. "Okay, yeah I have a crush on Damian. So what? It's not like he will return it. So you better not tell him anything or I will make you pay. I don't want to lose the only friend that shares the same view about all this crap. All this feelings bullshit is only complicating everything and I'm just waiting for it to pass." All your friends that looked so excited only a few seconds ago now looked sad. They pitied you. One stretched their arm put towards you but you backed away. "God, I can't deal with this shit today. Go watch your movie without me. I'm leaving." You stormed to the door, grabbed your jacket while running and threw it on you before shutting the door behind you. Today was definitely not your day and you couldn't wait for it to end.

_________________________________ Oh, but the next day wasn't better in the slightest. All of your friends spammed your group chat with all kind of 'lovely' pictures they had found on the internet together with 'subtle' messages about love and feelings. You knew what they were trying to do. They wanted you to confess. But that would never happen. You would never let that happen. You silenced the chat and distracted you with anything else. There were a few clothing pieces that maybe needed to be cleaned? You did the laundry. You found dust on your dresser? You cleaned the whole apartment. Your favorite show was on TV? You dropped everything else and escaped into it. Well, your distraction held as long as your phone was silent because after maybe four or five episodes it dinged. You grabbed it, a little confused since you had silenced the group chat for 8 hours, but the message that now held your focus wasn't from your friends´ chat it was from your chat with Damian. Without knowing what it was about your heart began to beat faster and you could feel a small smile form on your lips. Shaking your head you tried to suppress it. 'Stop it, no. Don't be stupid.' But your body didn't obey you. You opened his chat:

"Are you ready?" A confused frown adorned your face. "Ready for what?" you texted back. It only took a few seconds for him to respond. "The art museum." Oh shit. Your eyes grew wide. In your struggle to forget all that feelings bullshit and Damian you actually forget the agreed meeting with Damian today. You looked at the clock: it's almost quarter past two and you were supposed to meet at two o'clock sharp. "Fuck." "I knew you would forget it." That somehow hurt even though you knew Damian was always rather blunt so he often said something hurtful he didn´t intend to be. Though, you also knew yourself to be pretty forgetful. But it wasn't often that you completely forgot a planned meeting. Most of the time you just forgot how long you had to walk or drive to arrive to the agreed place so you would almost always arrive there late.  But you would arrive. "I'm sorry. Tell me where you are and I'll be there in a minute!" He didn't respond but you still saw that he was online. Impatiently you waited for any kind of reaction that didn't come. Then suddenly the doorbell rang. Surprised you jumped a little and then slowly made your way towards the door. Opening it you had to look up to greet the person standing behind it. "Hello, (Y/N)" Damian said with a smirk. "Hey" you were only able to say and stepped aside to let him in. Closing the door afterwards you stood still for a second, pressed your eyes close and tried to calm your breathing before turning around to face him. "I'm so sorry, I was doing so much stuff today I completely lost track of the time." He waved you off. "It´s alright. I intended to pick you up anyway since Alfred isn´t driving us today. Your absentmindedness fitted very well into it." You huffed, crossed your arms before your chest and raised one eyebrow. "I'm not that forgetful" you stated annoyed and a little hurt. But you tried to remind yourself that he didn´t mean it that way. ´Pull yourself together and start thinking again!´ "Not normally at least" you added, dropped your arms to your sides and walked past him to your room. "Let me change and we can be on our way." You looked at yourself through the mirror on your bedroom wall: baggy shirt and sweatpants. Nothing unusual, nothing Damian hadn't seen you in before but you felt a little embarrassed anyway. 'Stupid, mushy feelings.' Opening your dresser you grabbed anything else to wear. "How was movie night yesterday?" Damian's voice rang through the living room to your ears. "I left early" you stated in a matter-of-fact manner and tossed the baggy shirt on your bed. "Why is that?" You groaned before putting on the new top. Stripping yourself of your sweatpants you also tossed them away before opening your wardrobe and grabbing clean looking jeans. You also put them on and then left your room after one final check in the mirror. Damian had took a seat on your couch and turned around to look at you. "They tried to make me watch titanic" you finally answered him. You made a gaging sound which made Damian snicker. Rolling your eyes you grabbed your phone and keys. "Now come on let's go, I kept you waiting long enough." _________________________________ The museum was more entertaining than you thought when you agreed to go. Well, you couldn't really decline since you had chosen last time and Damian definitely didn't like what you made him do. You had dragged him to Gotham's fair. And even though you sometimes forgot he was the son of Bruce Wayne the general public definitely didn't. Most of the time he just tried to escape the paparazzi while he left you to yourself. He said he didn't want you to be involved with all this stuff and you gladly agreed. You didn't have to end up on the front page of every tabloid of Gotham. "Who is Damian Wayne's new girlfriend?" "Gold digger alert! Someone is throwing themselves at the billionaire's youngest son." God, you wouldn't be able to take a breath without them writing about it. At first you just grew more annoyed by them by the second but at the end of the day you were mostly sad that you couldn't really enjoy the time together. That's why he wore slightly more casual clothes than he would usual wear right now. He didn't want the day to end like the last time the two of you tried to have fun. And lucky for both of you nobody seemed to notice or care, at least for now. But what was undoubtedly boring was looking at all of the drawings. Damian wouldn't leave out even one! And when you questioned him about it and if it was fun to him he only responded with one of his typical sayings: "I wasn't raised to have fun." In the past you were a little surprised and worried whenever he would say something like that especially because he never would provide any specific reasoning or any kind of explanation even if you asked him directly. But now you only raised one eyebrow at him before deciding to change his grouchy mindset. So that´s why you decided to make it a little more entertaining for yourself and him. While Damian still mostly tried to figure out the deeper meaning of the pictures you just blurted out the first thing you thought about when looking at them with the goal of making him laugh and have fun even if it´s only for a little while. Currently the two of you were looking at Jean-Honoré Fragonard's 'The Swing' and once again you just couldn't stop yourself. "It should have been called 'The S-Wingman'." Damian turned around to look at you rather irritated. "Don't look at me like that. Look!" you pointed to a man on the right side of the picture almost engulfed into the shadows. He was holding some strings that were attached to the swing the lady was sitting on. "They definitely planed it so the other one could look up her skirt." Even though he really didn't want to Damian couldn't suppress his laughter completely. Low grunts left his lips before he groaned in annoyance. "You are insufferable. Why am I tormenting myself with you?" You punched him in the rips playfully and staged a wounded look. "How dare you insult me, you arrogant prick" you said with a vain sounding voice. "You just don't get the higher understanding of art, fucking loser" you joked. Damian huffed under his breath: "Watch your tone." You knew he didn't like it whenever he heard you cussing but well, he just had to get over it. Besides, you already were swearing a lot less when you were around him then when you were with anyone else. "Deal with it, Wayne."

You two kept joking around when you suddenly saw something reflecting in the corner of your eye. You turned towards it only slightly before realizing what or better who it was. A man with a far too obvious disguise and a big camera -far too professional to be a tourist's camera- was looking at the two of you. With worry in your eyes you tugged at Damian's sleeve to get his attention and then mouthed 'paparazzo' as soon as he looked at you. He noticed them only a second later. Grabbing your arm he walked into the crowd, trying to lose the man following you. Damian fell into a sprint as soon as you both left the room the paparazzo was still in. He directed you to an almost empty room in which a new, only temporary artwork was standing in: a weird constellation of mirrors. It looked like a mirror cabinet. But what you also noticed was that this room didn't have another exit. Before you could ask Damian what his plan was he dragged you along with him again. It was this moment you realized that it didn't just look like a mirror cabinet, it was a mirror cabinet. And you would be hiding in it. Well, at least that seemed to have been Damian's plan. The only problem: it wasn't constructed to be a functioning mirror cabinet. There was only one way leading right through it with only one small corner in which you would be out of view. This meant that the two of you were now tightly pressed against each other, trying to fit into the small space. With Damian's rather big frame? Almost impossible. You never were so glad you were smaller than someone else because if you would have met his height you would have had to press your face against his. And with your current feelings bullshit? God that would have been a living hell. But maybe that would have been better than being almost squeezed to death by his chest. You were never so close to him before. You could feel every muscle under his shirt move, his heart beating and his breath on your head. You tried to breathe in deep to calm yourself down but that only made it more awkward since you now knew exactly what he smelled like. 'God, please somebody end me right here and now!' An annoyed almost helpless sounding grunt left your lips which only made Damian press further into the corner. "Be quiet! If he finds us now the headlines will never end" he hissed. You tried to look up at him, squeezed your head past his chest and caught his eyes. "It was your fucking idea to hide here in this awkward position!" you whisper-yelled and glared at him. God, you could feel the heat rising up in you again. 'Not cool, body' you thought. You were definitely blushing right now. Then your eyes widen in realization. "When do we know that he left?" Well, you didn't. You stayed in that position for too many minutes. After you almost had a heart attack Damian finally moved and let you breathe out deeply in relief. "Anyone out there?" you asked but didn't move. Somehow you couldn't, you were frozen in fear of stumbling. Damian shook his head and turned towards you again. He laughed a little. "God, if someone would have found us..." "We would have seemed like the most disgusting couple ever!" you finished his sentence out of reflex and laughed as well. You were such a mess right now. Your emotions were on a roller-coaster and your knees weak. 'Pathetic.' "TT, ironic." You giggled. Yes, giggled. You never giggled. You laughed, you grunted, you grinned, you smirked but never ever in your life before had you ever been giggling. You had to leave this place right now. "Let's get out of here" you said. Still snickering -you somehow didn't seem to be able to stop- you grabbed his wrist and dragged him along. Maybe some fresh air would calm you down. _________________________________ After leaving the museum -you promised Damian to go there with him some other time since he couldn't finish his walk through- you found your way to the nearest park. Unfortunately so did many couples too. Since it was the one nice day in Gotham many decided to go picnicking. Your thoughts were literally split in half. On the one hand you bickered with Damian about how insufferable they all were and how you hated all this sappy nonsense -and you really did hate it- but on the other hand you wished it to be the two of you sitting on a blanket, looking deeply into each other's eyes, kissing. Shaking your head you forced yourself to stop. You whished all this feelings would just stop. It would only end up ruining everything. You didn't want to lose your best friend just because of some chemicals in your body that made you feel and act like a complete idiot. You needed something to distract yourself. Don't think about the people around you. Don't think about what they do and how much you would like to do that too currently. Don't think about Damian in this way! Stop! "Are you alright, (Y/N)?" You flinched, caught off guard and looked up. You had stopped moving so Damian was a few feet in front of you. He examined you with one eyebrow raised and waited for a response. The green of his eyes looked so vivid in this moment it completely sucked you in. You were definitely starring. "Ye-yeah, everything's fine." You cursed yourself silently for stuttering. 'Get your shit together!' "Just lost in thought." Your eyes wandered behind Damian and you stopped talking. Today was not your day. Before you could speak up, grab Damian and leave or do literally anything it was already too late. "(Y/N)!" one of your friends yelled. They were running towards you now, with huge smiles on their faced that read ´Got'cha´. Damian looked confused but also vaguely pissed off before he turned around. You walked up to him, standing next to him now before your friends could reached the two of you. Damian greeted them briefly but you just glared at them with a death stare. 'Don't you dare!' 'Oh, we dare.' "Hey Damian!" your friends greeted back. "What a coincidence meeting you here!" "Why are you all here?" you asked sternly. Some began to snicker. Oh, something was up. They had something planned. "After our movie night yesterday we decided to make it a surprise sleepover. And because of the nice weather we then decided to go walk around town together" one explained. "We would have asked you to join but we knew you were busy." You nodded. For only a split second all your friends looked at themselves before shifting their attention back to you and Damian. They had agreed on something silently you just knew it. "That reminds me" one started and stared at Damian while continuing to talk. "How was your da-" "Great" you interrupted immediately before they could finish their sentence. Oh. My. God. They really dared to do it. They wanted to make you confess or they would do it for you. You could feel your cheeks heat up again. Fuck. You hoped Damian didn´t notice anything but knowing him now for quite some time he probably already suspected something was up. One quick glance from the corner of your eye confirmed it. His eyebrows were knitted while his eyes darted between your friends. He was already trying to put the pieces together. "Great" you repeated. "Except for one paparazzo following us." "Oh, how unfortunate." You could have smelled the sarcasm from across the street. You knew what they meant. You had told them about the last meeting with Damian. And they knew what a picture would have caused and thought that that maybe would make you confess. Oh, but you won't break. You just couldn't. "Hey, how about you two join us?" one suggested. "Yeah! We are on the search for some ice-cream right now. Come with us." You wanted to decline immediately but that would have made Damian even more suspicious. So you pressed your lips together and looked up at him. You asked him silently with one raised eyebrow if he would like to join your friends. He knew how they were. He knew their tendency to talk about all the stuff you two disliked. So you hoped he would decline for you but he didn't. He shrugged his shoulders and said: "Whatever." Which basically meant he just gave his approval. 'Goddammit, Damian you will be the death of me!' You sighted and nodded. "Okay."

You never felt so exhausted while being with your friends. You were always on the watch, listening to what they said ready to intervene if necessary. But they only teased you, you knew it. They used weird words that had never left their mouths before -code words- which only made you even more paranoid. You were considering killing them. Well, not really. But you wanted to get back at them so bad for making this so hard for you. You had thought they noticed how much you hated your current situation but it seemed like they didn't care. You felt yourself drifting away in your thoughts so you shook your head. 'Come on, focus!' You couldn’t let them tell him. Then suddenly one of your friends squealed in excitement which made you jump in surprise. "Look! So sweet." You followed their sight to see a man proposing to his girlfriend. Of course, all your friends would like that. They began to swoon over it and talking about how they wished this for themselves too. "Uh, yikes" you said under your breath and crossed your arms. Someone pricked you in the side which made you turn around. But only Damian was standing to your right and his arms were tightly pressed against his sides. He felt your gaze and turned towards you. Immediately you could feel your cheeks getting hot. You looked away, now staring at the ground. Digging your nails into the flesh of your arms you focused only on your breathing. Or at least you tried to. Your thoughts were torturing you. You could only think about Damian. About his eyes, how they shined in the summer sun like all the hues of nature. Like the kind of sparking green of the grass that fought its way to the surface after a cruel, unforgiving winter. About his inky hair which reminded you of the pelt of a black wolf. Groomed but somehow still a little intentional messy in the most mystical, dangerous way. About his smell that hadn't left your nose since the museum. Fresh and woody like nature but with hints of his oil paints you knew he always used. But there had been something else, something more, something tougher. Wouldn't you know it better you would almost say he smelled a little bit like steel too. You thought about how his body felt pressed against your own, his heat slowly passing over to you, the beating of his heart. "Earth to (Y/N). Hello?" You blinked rapidly and looked up. You were surrounded by your friends who looked at you with staged concern. They tried to suppress their wicked grins. How did they know what you were thinking about? What the hell was going on? "Your face is so red, are you alright?" "Do you need something to drink? Sit down?" "We don't want you to have a heatstroke." You shushed them by shaking your head, your arms dropped to your sides. "No, don't worry. I'm not having a heatstroke" you said. But your friends wouldn't let you be. Of course not. They had a mission to fulfill. "Well, what else could it be?" One touched your forehead and cheeks. "You feel really hot." "If it's not a heatstroke what else?" "Are you upset?" "Were you thinking about something?" "Or someone?" You froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Now your friends didn't even try to suppress their grins. They had you cornered. "What are you talking about?" you said in a dismissive manner. Your hands began to get sweaty and your heart beat faster than ever before. You felt dizzy and angry and anxious. Damian's presence didn't make it easier for you since you could feel him beside you, his gaze burning on your skin. How could you escape this situation? God, what to say? What to do? "Well, if it's not a heatstroke maybe you are just blushing." Your eyes grew wide. Oh fuck. "N-no" you wanted to add more, say more but your throat felt so tight, you couldn't speak up. Out of instinct you tried to back away only to pump into someone. You didn't even have to turn around to know that it was Damian, the grins of your friends already told you so. You flinched away from him, afraid of his touch. No, you couldn't let it happen. You held your hands up defensively trying to get some distance between you and him. "Are you feeling alright?" Wouldn't you know it any better you would have thought that Damian was hurt about your reaction. But your mind probably just played you tricks. "Oh, (Y/N)'s peachy" one of your friends said and hung an arm over your shoulder. "Hasn't she told you?" another added. Damian looked at you confused but you couldn't meet his gaze. You felt so helpless and idiotic. Why did you tell your friends? Why didn't you just deny it? Why were you stuttering? "No" Damian said a little wary. He also seemed pretty helpless but you were on a completely different level. You were absolutely with no doubt on the highest anxiousness and nervousness level with no clue what to do to prevent what was coming. "Well" another friend began and also put their arm around you. "Our little Miss 'Love is bullshit' has a-" "Stop!" you bellowed while breaking free from your friends grasps. Hot rage bubbled inside of you. "What the hell is wrong with you? You are supposed to be my friends! " Your breathing was livid. "I can't believe I'm dealing with you all!" You tugged at your hair, trying to not break out in tears right then and there. That would only be embarrassing. Not that all this wasn't deeply embarrassing anyway. "God, I-why... Aah!" you yelled not knowing what else to do, turned around, turned away from your friends and stormed of. Or at least you tried to. You only got away a few feet before someone stopped you. Damian had run after you and now stood in your way. Looking up at him you prayed you wouldn't start crying. "What's your problem?" he asked still pretty confused but now also annoyed. The day hadn't gone as he planned or imagined it to go. "Nothing" you tried to sound dismissing but your voice broke at the end. "I see something is bothering you so don´t try lying." "It's nothing!" you said anyway, clenched your teeth and walked around him. You had to get out of here. You had let it went too far even though you knew all this feelings stuff would destroy everything you had. You doubled your fists, biting your tongue. "Stop avoiding it, stop avoiding me and tell me!" Damian yelled behind you. You could hear his footsteps following you. "Let me be!" But he didn't. He leaped forward and grabbed your shoulders, turning you around in the progress. His gaze was intense, sucked you in again. No! You shook your head. You couldn't. "Cut it and talk to me" he began. "What's your problem?" "You." The word had left your mouth without thinking. "What-" he started but was interrupted by you. "You are my fucking problem!" you screamed and regretted it immediately. Your eyes went wide and you covered your mouth with your hands. You could hear your friends gasp. Their plan hadn't gone like they imagined either. God, you were an idiot. What the hell were you doing! Your changes were now definitely ruined, not that you had any to begin with. "What did I do that makes me so repulsive to you? Everything seemed fine before" Damian said and let you go. Now you were pretty sure he felt hurt even though he didn´t show it directly. The way his eyes hardened to shut you out told you everything. You stepped back a little, shocked about what and how you said it. "Dami- God, that's not-" you stuttered and stumbled over your own words again. Tugging at your hair you groaned helplessly. ´What the hell, it´s too late now anyway. Might just give him the truth now.´ "You make me act like such a loser and I hate it and I love it at the same time" You just said not really knowing you were the one speaking. And when you noticed what you said it was already too late because you no longer could stop the flow of words leaving your mouth. "I have a crush on you." Nobody said anything for a few seconds before you spoke up again. "And I hate it!" you didn't look up, too afraid of meeting his gaze. "I fucking hate the way you make me feel. I hate to feel the heat bubbling inside of me. I hate that it had to be you because I don't want to lose the thing we had before I fucked it up. I don't want to become one of those couples I despised whenever I see them making out in public. And at the same time I do! I want to touch you, be around you, look at you, kiss and kill you simultaneously for making my feel this way. I-" you couldn’t think about anything else you could or should add. You looked up, looked at his green eyes and just waited for any kind of reaction that didn't come. He seemed frozen, maybe even shocked. You had never seen Damian caught off guard, startled like a deer in headlights, unable to form any responds. Not even a disgusted "pathetic" left his lips, something you were sure he would say after your confession because you knew how he felt about all this. You knew him more than he maybe realized. And maybe that was what had brought your downfall. You let him get to close to you. You were at fault. You were the one ruining everything because of your stupid feelings. "I should go" you said, turned away from him and walked away. You ran so fast you didn't even hear your friends yell after you. You didn't even see them while turning away because hot tears clouded your vision. The only thought on your mind during your run home was that you fucked it up. You fucked up badly. _________________________________ "Just let this day end already" you begged while tossing and turning in bed. It was late, something after midnight but your mind wouldn't shut up, wouldn't let you drift off into a peaceful sleep. You were far to rattled. Why had you told him? Why hadn't you just sucked it up and continued to pretend everything was alright? ´Because you had wanted him to pull you towards him. You wanted him to hug you, hold you and do all those stupid things you never thought you would like.´ Groaning you threw away your blanket and stood up. Grabbing your hoodie that was laying on the floor you put it and your shoes on. You took your phone from the nightstand and walked to the window. The cold night air that hit you after opening it made you shiver slightly. You buried yourself deeper into the comforting warmth of the hoodie and climbed through the window and to the fire escape. A small sight escaped your lips as you closed your eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the fresh night air on your skin. It wasn't often that Gotham felt so peaceful. You turned your head and looked up. Only three stories higher and you would be in the roof, your safe zone. Climbing up the metal ladder was easy, cold but easy. Your hands shivered after you reached the roof but it was definitely worth it. You loved to look over the city from your point. The building you were living in was definitely not the highest, so you couldn't see everything from above but you liked it anyway. You could sit on the edge all night, watching the streetlights flicker and listening to your music. It made you forget where you were, where you lived and how bad it got sometimes. But now the city was uncharacteristically quiet. Only one police siren was audible from your location. It was so far away you couldn't even see the red and blue lights flicker through the streets. You sat down on the edge and unlocked your phone. Opening the music app you pressed the random button. You had gone up to the roof to forget this day, to try to get your mind at ease but of course one of those sappy songs you were listening to currently was the one that was selected. A song you would have hated a few weeks prior but now you only rolled your eyes, locked your phone and listened to it. The soft tones danced through the night air and slowly but surely made you relax. You still couldn't stop thinking about today but it didn't feel so suffocating anymore. Sighting you let yourself fall backwards, now lying flat on the roof so you could look up at the sky. The beauty of today's day was still holding on which meant that not that many clouds were covering the sky so you could look at the stars. Everything was peaceful up there and you probably would have fallen asleep if someone hadn't interrupted your peace of mind. "What are you doing?" You flinched and jumped up in surprise. Turning around you met the white lenses of non-other than Batman's sidekick: Robin. "God fucking dammit, you almost gave me a heart attack" you cussed and turned back towards the edge, looking at the city again. "Not very heroic of you." The vigilante only huffed. "I asked you something." "Why do you care? It doesn't concern you anyway but if I'm planning something evil I will let you know, don't worry" you spat, not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. Why was he here anyway? Didn't he have better things to do? "Shouldn't you run around town, I don't know, safe some people and stuff." You could hear faint steps coming closer to you. Peeking from the corners of your eyes you looked at him. He stood beside you, his arms crossed and jaw clenched. You had never been this close to any of Gotham's heroes before which was a good thing because normally that would mean you were in serious trouble and needed saving. But nothing was going on here so you didn't really know why he was with you right now. "Gotham is quiet today" was the only thing he responded to your question. You huffed, placed your arms on your knees and laid your head in your hands. Dangling your legs you let your eyes wander over Gotham but the vigilante beside you seemed to be on high alert since he looked around profusely. "Sit down and hold still you are making me twitchy" you said while darting your eyes back forward. It took a few seconds then he finally let himself relax a bit. He sat down with a few feet of distance and took his hood of. Immediately his dark hair got caught by the gentle wind and framed his sharp face. "You still haven't answered my question" he said after a while. "I have to disagree, I gave you an answer but it just wasn't the one you were looking for" you stated matter of factly. Robin groaned in response. You tried to concentrate on anything else, on your music that was still playing, on the cold air tingling the back of your neck, on the hard ground you were sitting on. Anything that would make you forget and relax again. "What are you listening to?" Robin asked and broke the comforting silence again. You darted him an irritated look. Why wouldn't he leave you alone? "I don't know, I pressed the random button." You answered in hope he would shut up then. But he didn't. "What's your name?" "Why should I tell you?" Robin turned towards you now as well. "Because I asked" he said likewise annoyed. "You wouldn't tell me yours if I asked so..." you responded half-heartedly and turned away. You could hear police sirens echoing through the streets again somewhere in the distance. "Why are you up here?" "Why do you care?" "Why are you so dismissive?" You looked at him. Your annoyance slowly turned into anger. "I don't know you and frankly I don't really want to talk to you or anyone right now. So maybe just do me a favor and fuck off." Robin didn't say anything but he also didn't move. An annoyed grunt left your lips. "Something is on your mind" he said without looking at you. "What's your fucking problem?" you hissed which made him knit his eyebrows, or at least you interpreted it in that way since his brows were covered by his mask. His jaw was clenched tightly again as if he had to suppress something he wanted to say. "What is my problem? You are the one being uncommunicative" he snarled back at you, his white lenses narrowed. You straightened your back and glared at him. "I didn't ask for your time. And maybe all those vigilante activities made you deaf or something but I don't want to talk to you" you said dwelling the last words very clearly annoyed. "I had a bad day- no I had a bad weekend and I just want to be alone right now." Robin's face softened a bit. He still seemed pretty annoyed but his jaw wasn't clenched anymore and his eyebrows relaxed slightly. "But maybe talking about it would help" he said quietly without pressuring you to answer him for once. You groaned and let yourself fall backwards again. One arm draped over your eyes. "I fucked up badly" you said no longer able to hold it in you. "I confessed something to my best friend and probably ruined our friendship." "Why do you think that?" You lifted your arm up to look at the vigilante again. "If I'm answering your questions you have to answer mine as well" you demanded. Robin hesitated. "Don't worry I won't ask you anything about your real self. Besides you don't have to tell me anyway if you don't want to answer a question." He still didn't say anything for a while before sighting: "Deal." You grinned in victory before letting your face fall blank again. "Why are you here? And don't come at me with 'Gotham is quiet'. You could relax at home or something but you are here. Why?" you asked but no answer was heard. Robin wasn't looking at you anymore, his eyes were wandering over the rooftops of Gotham's buildings. "I had a rough day, too. I think someone is angry with me" he responded finally. "Someone told me something important today and I think I didn't react properly and hurt their feelings in the process." You huffed. "You probably should have explained it better to them then." You could hear an almost inaudible, irritated sight coming from Robin. "They weren't listening." "Well, maybe they should have heard you out then." "They couldn't. They ran away before I was able to speak up." A weird feeling crept over you, something strangely familiar. You searched for his gaze but he was still looking straight forward. "Well, maybe they just couldn't stand what they imagined the answer would have been." The two of you were silent after that, nobody dared or wanted to speak anymore. After a while you grabbed your phone and looked at the time: almost two in the morning and you had to go to school tomorrow. Sighting you stood up. "I'm going to sleep, I have school tomorrow" you said and walked to the fire escape but turned towards the vigilante one last time. "Maybe you should too. Whoever you really are you probably still have a normal life." He nodded in response and also stood up. Walking to the other side of the building he grabbed his grappling hook. "Good night" he said before shooting it to a higher building. He was gone before you were able to respond. _________________________________ Waking up the next day -or rather four hours later- you felt awful. You just wanted to go back to sleep but you couldn't miss school today even though you really didn't want to walk into Damian today. Or every again for that matter. So that's why you avoided him all day. You walked to class not waiting for him -what you would have done normally- and ran out of the room before he could approach you. You felt so silly doing that but you just didn't have any other options. Your friends tried to talk to you but you avoided them too. Still too pissed at them for what they did. Or for what they made you do. Today was a living hell but after the last two days you could almost say you accustomed to it. You were only able to relax the moment you shut your apartment door closed behind you. Breathing in deeply you let yourself fall onto the bed and fell asleep immediately. You woke up hours later, the sun was already beginning to set when you realized you had still a lot of stuff to do. Groaning you stood up and dealt with everything. You even had enough energy to cook something. After you cleaned everything up you looked at the clock. It already was pretty late and completely dark outside but because of your nap you didn't feel tired. Sighting you decided to go up to the roof again. To your surprise somebody else already was on it when you arrived there. "What are you doing here again?" you asked while hoisting yourself up over the edge and sat down beside him. "Enjoying the view" Robin answered but you could swear you heard uncertainty in his voice. You arched one eyebrow at him. "For real?" you couldn’t help but ask in a sarcastic manner. "Pretty sure." "Why here? I've seen your grappling hook yesterday" you started and looked forward to the city. "You could swing up to Wayne Tower and not sit on this pathetic copy of a roof." A low sight left his lips. "What would be the difference?" "A magnificent view over all of Gotham?" you shot back. He only muttered something under his breath that sounded an awfully lot like ´Whatever´. You however would love to see this entire city from above. "I bet you would be so high up that you'd be able to breathe clean, fresh air" you sighted now fully engulfed within your imagination. "Seeing all of Gotham's lights flicker, being close to the stars. You probably would even be able to see the ocean." "Do you want to go there?" Your eyes snapped to Robin who was also looking at you. "What?" you asked and blinked confused. "Do you want to go to the roof of Wayne Tower?" he repeated. You still were a little shocked with his proposition. "Well, yeah. It would be cool but I don't think-" "I can bring you there" he uttered directly. Your eyes shone in excitement. You didn't even care that he had interrupted you. "Hell yeah!" He stood up with a smirk and held his hand out to you. You were only hesitant for a second before accepting it. "Hold on tight" he said and pulled you towards him. A little awkward you wrapped your arms around his neck. You were one hundred percent certain he would twine one arm around your waist but luckily for him he didn't dare to do it. But would you even be able to hold your weight all alone? Before you could speak up to tell him your concern he already shot the hook to the next building. You felt your body being pulled forward so you hold on as tight as possible. You just had to be able to do it on your own. "That was awesome!" you declared a little out of breath. It had been absolutely amazing swinging through Gotham but at the same time it had been a little terrifying too. Now the two of you were standing on the very top of Wayne Enterprises. Your legs were a little shaky but that didn't stop you from slowly creeping to the edge. Sitting down you let your eyes wander over the whole of Gotham, enjoyed the fresh air and wind blowing through your hair. "Damn" you were only able to say. Gotham was a shithole through and through but at night with the flickering street lights and so high up you couldn't hear the police sirens it felt really peaceful. You stared into the distance when your eyes widen. "You really can see the ocean from here" you whispered. You were so stunned you didn't even notice Robin taking place next to you with almost no distance between you two. Well, after your swinging adventure it really wasn't necessary anymore. But because he was so close now and before you were able to smell the leather of his uniform, the steel of his katana that was attached to his hip and a faint scent of wood and nature that hung on him like a shadow. The strange feeling from yesterday slowly fought its way to the surface again. "You didn't have to bring me here, I wasn't exactly nice to you yesterday but thank you" you finally broke the silence. He only grunted in response. You guessed that he wasn't angry at you and if he was he could have just dropped you earlier. "How are things?" you started again. "With them, I mean." Robin shrugged his shoulders. "I think they're still upset with me" he said still not looking at you. "They avoided me all day." "I'm sorry but maybe they just aren't ready to talk about it?" you suggested. "Why do you think that?" You scratched your neck uncomfortably. "Well, I kind of did the same thing" you muttered. "What happened between you and your best friend?" Robin asked and you remembered that you didn't really tell him. "I-Ehm" you spoke up but stopped. "God, it's so embarrassing and fucking stupid." You buried your head in your hands. "Watch your tone" Robin muttered under his breath and bit his lips immediately afterwards. You just ignored it and rolled your eyes. "I confessed to him that I have a crush on him" you finally said. Why were you even telling him that? Well, he didn't know you so he hopefully wouldn't judge you. "And I hate it so much" you continued. "Why is that?" he asked with an arched eyebrow. "Because I hate this mushy feelings nonsense. All my other friends are very romantic and bubbly about this topic and I just can't stand it. Or I used to at least. God, I don't know anymore. But he was the only one that got me. We could walk around Gotham and bicker about all those couples, make jokes about how disgusting it was, how neither of us liked or wanted that for ourselves. But then of course I had to catch feelings and it had to be him. And my friends found out and teased me and hinted on hit while he was there and..." you had to stop yourself to take a breath. You were definitely rambling. "And I ended up confessing and messed our friendship up." You lifted your head up but didn't look at Robin. Somehow you didn't dare to. For a few moments you only tried to calm yourself down again, breathing in deeply and staring at the lights of the city. "And I don't have the courage to face him" you finished your ramble. Robin reached one hand out to you but stopped before he touched you. Instead he pressed one finger against his earpiece and furrowed his brows. You stared at him from the corner of your eye. "Yes, I will be there shortly" he said to whoever was on the other end of the line before turning his attention back to you. "I'm sorry but I have to go" he said and stood up, holding his hand out to you again. You took it without hesitating this time and wrapped your arms around his neck again. No time to waste since he was needed somewhere and you didn´t want to be the one to keep him away when he was needed. You landed on your roof only a few minutes later, no shaking legs this time. You let go of Robin who opened his mouth but didn't speak up. Probably because he was listening to the message through his ear piece again so you just waited. "Yeah, I'm only a few streets away" he answered the person and then looked back at you. "Go inside, something is up only a few blocks from here" he ordered. You only huffed. "I can handle it if something should happen here" you responded and crossed your arms over your chest. Robin´s lenses narrowed. "I didn't ask." For a few seconds the two of you just stared at each other passive aggressively before you rolled your eyes and nodded, giving your okay. You could hear police sirens coming closer. Something big really must be happening only around the corner. Robin had turned towards the sound and grabbed his hook. But before shooting it he turned towards you one last time with some of his dark hair fallen into his face. "Good night and stay safe, (Y/N)" he said and disappeared in a hurry. "I-" you started and frowned but he was already gone. "I never told him my name." You sat on your roof quietly for a few more minutes even though you agreed you would go inside, his smell still in your nose and the picture of his black, messed up hair in your mind. The smell. A tough smell of leather and steel mixed with the softness of nature and freshly cut wood. And if you weren't imagining things he also smelled a little like oil too. "Oil?" you wondered. Then your eyes widen in realization. "Oh, fuck." _________________________________ How did you not realize it sooner? The voice. The way he spoke. How he didn't leave you alone on the first day of your meeting. His height and appearance. How he reminded you of your foul mouth. Finally his smell and him knowing your name. To say you were livid would have been an understatement but you somehow also felt really numb since you connected the dots. You stayed at home today. You didn't dare to go to school today. But now you were sitting on the roof again, hoping he would show up. But the time went on and everything kept quiet. 'Maybe something happened he had to deal with today' you thought while dangling your legs over the edge. It was already a few hours after midnight and even though you were rather tired and yawning profusely you would stay on the roof all night if you had to. The soft tunes of some random song were lulling you in again, so much that you didn't hear him landing behind you. "You´re still up" he said in a stunned voice but not questioningly. It was more of an objective statement. Nevertheless it made you turn around in shock. "Can you like not do that every time you come here?" you asked and pressed one hand against your wildly beating heart. Even though you didn't really know what the real reason was. His arrival or simply his presence? "Sit down, I have to talk to you about something" you commanded and turned away from him. He followed your request and sat down beside you. "What is it?" he asked with concern in his voice he desperately tried to cover up with irritation but you noticed it anyway. Now that you knew you suddenly were able to read him. "You want to tell me something?" you answered with a counter question. He only raised one eyebrow in confusion. The silence wasn't comfortable it was tense. You collected your thoughts before turning towards him. "I know" you only said but he seemed to understand it immediately because now both of his eyebrows were arched in shock. You kneeled down in front of him, your face only inches away from his nose. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you play me like that? Did you enjoy how I made a fool out of myself in front of you again?" you couldn’t help but yell at him. You felt hurt and betrayed. "I can't believe you did that to me!" "Stop. Listen to me before you draw one of your conclusions again" he growled, now also kneeling in front of you. You crossed your arms before your chest and huffed. "One of my conclusions? Again!" you howled but stopped yourself and shrugged your shoulders in a downgrading manner. "Okay, sure. Explain yourself then" you snarled. "What else was I supposed to do? You avoided me, didn't even let me respond to your confession" he spit back with clenched teeth. "It was the only way to talk to you." "Maybe I didn't want to talk to you about it yet, Damian!" you threw back at him. "I despise the way I feel. I wanted to let it pass, never tell you about it but then all this crap happened. And it messed everything up." You no longer could meet his gaze so you stared at ground, slow backing away. "I fucked it up. And I just can't..." Robin, or rather Damian stayed silent also looking away. Hugging your knees you placed your head on them and watched over the city again. You had to calm down first before doing anything else you might regret again. "Were you telling the truth that day?" he suddenly asked which made you look at him again. You wanted to respond immediately but he interrupted you. "Except hating all that feelings stuff" he added. You closed your mouth again, too ashamed to answer him. "I don't know. I'm not sure" you finally answered. "I know that I still don't like seeing couples being completely over each other, or cheesy rom coms or stuff like that but... I think I wouldn't mind it if I would do this things with you" you stopped and looked at him but you couldn't meet his green eyes only his white lenses. "God, that sounds so disgustingly sweet." That last part made him chuckle which made you laugh a little as well even though it was more of a nervous laughter. "You said that I didn't let you speak that day so... you can do that now" you said. Did you even want to hear it? His response? Suddenly you felt very vulnerable. You had opened up to him, confessed your feelings and he could break you down with one single word. "Well, I would have told you that-" he began, not stuttering even once. You felt jealous. Perfect Damian Wayne didn't even stumble over his own words now. He edged forward, towards you so he would be as close to you as you were to him before. He spoke up again: "That I'm relieved you feel so for me because I would have not been able to pretend any longer." Your brows narrowed in confusion before your eyes finally widen in realization. "Wait, hold on. Wh-what?" you stammered and blinked furiously. "Did you just-" "Return your confession? Yes." You backed away out of instinct but only a few inches. Your mouth opened and closed many times without sound coming out of it. Far too rattled, caught off guard to form any words or sentences. "Hang on" you managed to choke out. Pressing your forehead against your hand you needed a few seconds to process what he had just said to you. "You want to tell me that you -you! The only other person I know who hates all this feelings nonsense- is returning my feelings?" you said questioningly and faced him again. Confused, arched eyebrows adorned your face. "Pretty much, yes. But I could throw that statement right back at you" he responded and leaned back with a smug grin on his face. And of course, he was right. "Since when?" Damian shrugged his shoulders and scratched his neck. "I don't really know. I noticed it a few weeks back but it was getting really hard to pretend a couple of days ago." You nodded in agreement. "I can't believe it" you muttered. All this drama for nothing, all this time he felt the same way. And you didn't notice. "Can I kiss you?" You were definitely blushing again, or maybe your blush never left. Your eyes darted back and forth between his white lenses, not really knowing where to focus your glance. Unable to form any words you just nodded and Damian crept closer. Intuitively you wrapped your arms around his neck again, like you did yesterday but now to close the distance between you two. For one split second he stopped moving, looked at you, at your eyes before placing his lips on yours. It felt like an electric shock ran through you and you tensed up but only for a moment. Then you melted into it and responded the kiss. It was sweet, no heat, nothing hidden beneath. Just an innocent first kiss that made your heart beat higher. Your fingers slowly stroked the hair on the back of his head while Damian's hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer to him. You were certain he could feel your heart beating like you could feel his against your chest. Then his lips left yours, they left you breathless. You opened your eyes after a few seconds of trying to calm down. You couldn't even remember closing them in the first place. When you looked up you meet Robin's mask, Damian had only backtracked a couple inches. "Can I?" you asked and placed your hands on the edges of his mask. You wanted to see his eyes, you needed to. He nodded after looking around to make sure no one was watching or could accidently see him. Slowly you peeled it off and underneath were sparkling green eyes. Eyes so green you couldn't find anything right now to compare them to that would do them justice. You placed the mask beside you and let your fingers wander over his skin. Then you placed them on both sides of his head and pulled him towards you again, you kissed him again. His lips moved against your own, his hands wrapped around your middle and pulled you flush against him. This kiss was more heated, still rather innocent but not that cautious anymore. You never wanted to pull away from him but after a while you had to catch your breath. Breathing heavily you stared at his eyes. "But we- all this... that doesn't mean we have to go on double dates with my friends now or watch sappy romance movies, right?" you asked anxiously while his face was still only inches away from yours. "Of course not" Damian chuckled. "I still hate that." You breathed out in relief: "Good." Then you kissed him again. You just couldn't help yourself, he felt so intoxicating. He was like a drug, he lulled you in and you couldn't resist. But Damian didn't seem to mind since he responded eagerly. When you eased back out of the third kiss you wrapped your arms around his middle and hid your face in his chest. Breathing in you could smell the leather and steel again but being so close you also notice the faint smell of wood, nature and oil paints. Damian buried his face in your hair and huddled you against him. The two of you stayed that way and enjoyed the silence. This conversation definitely didn't go like you imagined but the outcome was surprisingly better. Sighting you turned your head slightly so you could watch over Gotham again. This night was undeniably not as peaceful as the ones before but somehow you didn't register the loud sirens echoing through the streets. And the red and blue lights didn't seem as aggressive as they normally did. For you everything was perfect, everything was at ease. The air was cold and danced around you, blew through your hair and tickled your nose. You could hear Damian's relaxed breathing which slowly lulled you in. You had never heard such a hypnotizing tune before. It even made you forget that your phone was still playing your music. "You're Robin" you said after a while. It wasn't a question; you just had to repeat the fact after everything that happened tonight. Damian nodded anyway; you could feel his head move. "Does that mean Batman is ... your Dad?" "Yes" he hesitantly answered since there was no use in lying. His body tensed up underneath you anyway. "Okay, cool" you said your face and voice blank. "Are you alright?" he questioned and shifted a bit to get into a more comfortable sitting position. You sighted, not letting go of him and snuggled closer. "Yeah, yeah. Just let me... process all this. Today had a lot of surprises" you retorted. "Didn't think my crush would return my feelings and reveal himself to be Robin and then confirm that his Dad, Bruce Wayne, is Batman which explains a lot by the way." You could feel how Damian's chest moved when he chuckled at your words. "To be fair, you were the one who revealed me, you found out I was Robin" he stated. You tried to free yourself from his grip to look at him again but Damian only loosened it a bit. He still had his arms wrapped around you but you know were at least able to see his eyes. "Maybe you should try to keep your secret identity a, well, secret" you told him with a huge grin on your face. He nudged you in the side which made you squeal. Your cheeks heated up in embarrassment again. God, you were making sounds you never imagined would ever leave your mouth. "Hey, it's not my fault Mister Perfect made the mistake to call me by my name when I didn't tell Robin" you explained. "It's not my fault when you make me act like an idiot" he stated defensively. "Is your world tinted in pink?" you teased and stuck your tongue out. "Isn't yours too?" he threw back at you. "Well, currently it's green" you whispered while staring into his eyes and creeping so close your noses almost touched. Maybe your mind played tricks on you since it was pretty dark but you could have sworn you saw a red hue cover Damian's face. "God, we sound disgusting" you said to end his suffering but didn't move an inch. He played you the last couple of days so now it was your turn to have some fun. "I don't mind, with you at least." "Fuck, was that something like a compliment leaving your lips?" you asked and staged a shocked face. "Shut your foul mouth" Damian growled and pulled you even closer. "Make me" you grinned. "With pleasure."

   _________________________________

Addition: "Wait!" You pushed him away from you. "Did you know the mirror cabinet would only have that small space to hide in?" Damian smirked at you wickedly. "Maybe." "I can't believe you!" you howled indignantly and tried to wiggle out of Damian´s grip but without success. "Why did I have to catch feelings for you, you mean prick! That was total agony for me while you enjoyed it, didn't you?" you yelled while you could feel not only your cheeks but your complete head getting hot. You punched his arm which only made him laugh. "Maybe" he only said again while looking down on you with a mischievous grin still on his face. "God, I hate you." "I hate you too" he responded in the same sarcastic manner before giving you another quick kiss which you returned eagerly.

[wedreamedlove]

[Confessing Voice]

"Under the glimmering lights I was only watching your radiance. I'll place everything I wish to tell you in this song."

This is doing a rerun on the ENG server so what better time to post a translation on it than now? Maybe it'll encourage people to get the card. But I'm also curious about what people feel regarding the differences between the versions.

Does the Asian version seem more quiet with charged undertones while the English version is more physical? It reminds me of reviews I've read about different actors' takes on the Phantom of the Opera lol.

NOTE: This is the JP version with CN subbed lines because I needed to keep the literary reference with the song he sings.

[True Love Date]

I was meticulously checking the first broadcast of Miracle Finder for the New Year in the editing room.

It was an important broadcast related to our sponsors and our ratings this year. I looked over the show's contents with especially strict eyes.

Editing Staff: We've edited this 12 times already...

Everyone's line of sight gathered on me. They were waiting for me to give the OK.

MC: I think it's good this time. We're done with this!

Cheers rose. Looking at everyone who worked hard through consecutive all-nighters I felt bad.

MC: Good job everyone. I'll be generous with the project rewards so look forward to that!

Editing Staff: President, the person we need to thank the most is Professor Xu Mo.

I showed a confused expression.

Editing Staff: I secretly contacted Professor Xu Mo when we kept on redoing this. He gave me a lot of advice even though he was busy...

I looked at my phone screen in surprise. Two weeks earlier---

~~~

His face crossed my mind when I was troubled over this current project.

My hand moved on its own to call Xu Mo. It started to become a habit to contact him whenever I had problems.

Xu Mo picked up after several rings.

MC: Xu Mo? Are you busy right now? There's something I'd like to ask you...

Static crackled from the other side of the call. After a while, I heard Xu Mo's voice.

Xu Mo: I'm sorry but lately... I've been busy.

His tone was calm but also distant. It wasn't from exhaustion. I felt a coldness from somewhere.

MC: Don't worry. It wasn't anything serious, so...

Xu Mo: Mm. If it's nothing then I'm going to end the call.

MC: Okay...

Xu Mo didn't say anything further. That was more than enough to make me feel the distance between us.

MC: Wait!

MC: Um... you might be busy, but take care of yourself. Bye bye.

Just when I thought there was rough breathing it suddenly fell quiet. Hearing a monotone beeping, I came back to myself. Xu Mo had already ended the call.

MC: Did he hear my last words...?

Looking at the ended call I was struck by a strange feeling.

Maybe I was thinking too much? His words and speech was cold like never before.

MC: What am I thinking? Xu Mo is just busy...

Although I tried telling myself that I couldn't help but feel uneasy somewhere.

I shook my head and drove away my negative emotions. I relied too much on him. This time I needed to solve things by myself.

Editing Staff: ---President, President? Are the credits good like this?

I returned to the present after being lost in my thoughts. The words "Program Supervisor: Xu Mo" on the credits roll jumped into my eyes.

MC: W-what sort of advice did Professor Xu Mo give? Um... how did you get him to help? When was that?

Editing Staff: It was about 2 days ago. We were editing until 4AM but still had to redo everything... It was when you fell asleep on the sofa.

Editing Staff: After I called Professor Xu Mo, he asked me what happened to you, and I replied you were sleeping on the sofa.

Editing Staff: Then he ended the call saying he was busy. But the next morning an email arrived with detailed advice...

Editing Staff: The strange thing is that he wrote for me not to let you know. But you've found out already, so it's fine, right?

I wondered why Xu Mo helped when he had refused once.

(Why did he say not to let me know? Is there a problem if I know about it...?)

I also didn't understand the reason for Xu Mo's sudden coldness.

For a while there were no replies to my texts and his lectures were on break too. It was like he was distancing himself from me on purpose.

My heart clenched when I thought this.

Editing Staff: President, why don't we invite Professor Xu Mo to our New Year's party this time? He looked like he enjoyed our year-end party a few days ago and he helped us out this time too...

I said this while looking at the New Year's party notice I sent to everyone.

MC: He... seems to be busy, so he might not come.

Editing Staff: But he came to the year-end party even though he was busy, right...?

I hurried out of the editing room as if ending the topic.

On the day of the New Year's party, I came with everyone in the company to a newly opened high-class karaoke box in Lianyu City.

It was an elegant, modern, and spacious reserved room. A white grand piano and guitar were placed in front of the karaoke machine, and beside that was a small stage.

I checked my phone's text messages over and over again. A message from 3 days ago remained there.

Text: Xu Mo, my company's going to have a New Year's party at Petrichor 3 days later. If you'd like, why don't you come?

Text: You looked like you enjoyed singing at the year-end party a while ago, so I thought I'd invite you this time too. But if you're busy then please don't hesitate to refuse.

Even though the message was definitely sent there was no response. I sighed with worry and disappointment.

Yue Yue: President, why have you been staring constantly at your phone? Work is done for today!

Yue Yue quickly stole my phone, randomly touching the screen, and then placed it in front of herself.

MC: Hey, my phone...

I stretched out my hand but Yue Yue pushed a set of cards to me.

Yue Yue: You don't sing, right? Then let's play cards!

The company members around us gathered in interest. I had no choice but to pass the time playing cards with everyone.

Xu Mo's house---

The phone rang and a message arrived. It was from [NAME].

Xu Mo hesitated slightly and then picked up the phone. However, the message was just numbers and letters and he didn't understand what she wrote.

What was this? Xu Mo's expression became severe.

He searched on the internet and tried various methods but he couldn't decipher it. He felt a sense of frustration.

He wondered why she had sent this message.

Was she angry at being treated coldly? Or was it a demand for a reply to her New Year's party invitation...?

Xu Mo dialed her phone from his landline. However, only an automated voice saying "This phone has been turned off" came.

Xu Mo: What is wrong with me?

Xu Mo: When did I start caring about these conventions?

For a while, Xu Mo stared at the message which came from the girl 3 days ago. It was written with her usual detailed and kind words.

At the beginning, his objective was just to get close to her. But the closer he got the more he was drawn to her for some reason.

Xu Mo: Didn't I already decide to leave her life?

Why did he help her again even though he refused her once? Why was his heart unsettled from this incomprehensible message?

The intense pain in Xu Mo's heart insistently told him the reason. That over there was an answer he couldn't escape even if he desperately averted his eyes.

The moment the door to the karaoke room opened Xu Mo faintly understood the answer.

That he couldn't leave her.

~~~

MC: Xu Mo! You came?

Her clear eyes widened roundly and she looked at him. The person reflected in those eyes was him alone.

Xu Mo suddenly placed a hand on his chest. A thin thread was tightly squeezing his heart.

He sighed.

Forget it, he would be foolish once more with this foolish girl.

Xu Mo entered the room and sat beside her naturally.

MC: Weren't you busy?

MC: Erm, nevermind. You didn't reply so I didn't think you'd come.

Even under the dim lights he could clearly see her emotions.

There was joy and doubt.

He swallowed back the words he was about to say and softly stroked her hair.

Xu Mo: Sorry. I couldn't get through to your phone so I came here.

MC: You couldn't get through?

She looked down and searched the top of the sofa before showing him the phone, biting her lip awkwardly.

MC: I accidentally turned it off...

Xu Mo smiled lightly with some exasperation. Light and shadow were jumbled together in his eyes.

Xu Mo: Silly.

She gave a pure laugh and then, covering her face, her eyes darted around.

MC: Were you worried about me?

Xu Mo: Yes.

Xu Mo approached her and nodded without hesitation.

Yue Yue: Huh? It's Professor Xu Mo? President, you should have told us if the professor was coming.

MC: Uh... that's because...

Xu Mo: I heard everyone was having a New Year's party so I came without an invitation. I'm not interrupting, am I?

Yue Yue: No way. I was moved when I heard you singing at the year-end party. Everyone wants to hear it again!

Yue Yue said this and then ran back to the stage again to sing enthusiastically with Anna.

Xu Mo: Why aren't you singing together with them?

MC: Huh? I... don't sing much.

Xu Mo: I know. But I'd like to hear it.

My face turned red at Xu Mo's unexpected words.

MC: You're planning on teasing me again, aren't you...

The corners of Xu Mo's lips rose and then he sighed.

Xu Mo: It's true I was worried about you. It's also true that I want to hear you sing.

Xu Mo: Everything is true.

His casual words resounded in my heart more than any other noise in the room.

Yue Yue started singing a sad love song with Anna who was still on the stage.

Anna: Did you really throw away those glittering days...

Yue Yue: I had many dreams in those long nights. Don't remember me. One day you will also know pain...

Xu Mo looked at the words showing on the screen. The flickering light was reflected in his eyes.

The lively karaoke party on top of the stage repeated and, below the stage, everyone else amused themselves with games.

Seeing that Xu Mo had come everyone persistently invited him to join their game.

Gu Meng: Next is the improved version of Spin the Bottle! Whoever this beer bottle points to has to answer everyone's question. If they can't answer with the truth then as penalty they need to drink all this alcohol!

When Gu Meng clapped her hands the editing staff carried over a tray with five cups of whiskey.

Colleagues: This is overdoing it!

Looking at the lined up drinks, I became worried. I would get drunk from just one cup, so if I drank them all I might collapse.

That reminded me, I hadn't seen Xu Mo drink before. I looked at him inquisitively.

Xu Mo nodded and patted the back of my hand.

The beer bottle began to spin and then pointed at Gu Meng.

Yue Yue: Do you have someone you like?

Yue Yue, who had joined the circle at one point, began the questions. At that first question... everyone's eyes gathered on Gu Meng.

Gu Meng glared lightly at Yue Yue and then reluctantly nodded.

Cheers rose. Gu Meng spun the bottle as if trying to avenge herself. This time the bottle pointed at Xu Mo and stopped.

Yue Yue: Professor Xu Mo, is there someone you like in this room?

Gu Meng: How about trying another question?

Yue Yue: That's why I said "in this room"!

Xu Mo smiled and nodded decisively.

Xu Mo: There is.

That answer was so surprisingly clear that the area became quiet. After that cheers exploded and Gu Meng whistled.

My heart was already racing the second Yue Yue asked that question.

The person Xu Mo liked was in this room... My ears turned red and my mind went blank.

I unconsciously brought my hand back but Xu Mo grabbed it firmly.

Xu Mo: Why is your face red?

MC: Erm, uh... it's because of the drinks!

Xu Mo: But... it doesn't seem like you've drank anything yet.

MC: Umm, it's because it's hot then?

Looking at me as my voice gradually became smaller, Xu Mo chuckled beside my ear.

Yue Yue: Okay, next is Professor Xu Mo again!

The beer bottle pointed at Xu Mo again and stopped. This time Gu Meng restrained Yue Yue and asked a question.

Gu Meng: Who is the person you said you liked?

Everyone held their breath and stared at Xu Mo.

My heart wouldn't stop pounding. I looked down and reflexively pulled back the hand that was held by Xu Mo.

Xu Mo smiled, as if he understood something, and drained the drinks one after another.

Everyone was a bit disappointed and began to spin the bottle again.

I secretly glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He looked drunk and even his ears were red.

MC: Xu Mo, are you okay?

He nodded his head and brought his lips to my ear. His hot breath and the smell of alcohol drifted around me and it felt ticklish.

Xu Mo: I'm fine, although... you still owe me an answer.

MC: I...

I was at a loss for an answer and, at last after panicking, I fell silent. I just concentrated on touching my hair and hiding my discomposure.

Maybe it was because of the drinks or maybe the atmosphere of the place, but Xu Mo became talkative and his eyes were hazy.

Yue Yue: It's finally the president's turn!

Yue Yue and Gu Meng exchanged looks and then came up to me together.

Gu Meng: Who's the person important to you? Please be specific.

MC: How come I'm the only one who has to be "specific"?

Yue Yue: You have to keep to the rules. It's useless to try and run!

The person most important to me--- I looked at Xu Mo shyly and then breathed in deeply.

MC: That person showed me a world I didn't know about until now.

MC: He's warm but not oppressive. He's calm but not melancholic. He's a person that's like a clear sky and a deep fog.

MC: He also notices the slightest change in my feelings and taught me the laws of this world.

MC: Whenever I'm lost he leads me forward with a gentleness that surrounds me.

I sunk into my memories and continued to talk by myself, not noticing how beside me Xu Mo placed his glass down, furrowed his brows, and bit his lip...

MC: He is... a very, very important person to me.

Finished talking about my heart, I gave a deep sigh.

Colleague A: For the president to talk so passionately means that "man" isn't here, right? If he was here, then you wouldn't say this, huh~.

Yue Yue: I wanna know who it is!

MC: Hey now! Enough with the chatter, let's move on...

Everyone unanimously guessed at the "man" I talked about. Xu Mo remained silent and raised his glass, taking a mouthful of his drink.

Despite the game resuming Xu Mo seemed strange somewhere. It was like his cheer up to now had disappeared.

MC: Maybe he's drunk? He drank a lot earlier...

MC: I've never seen him drunk. I'm sure it'd be cute.

I stood in front of the sink, thinking about how he'd look drunk, and giggled.

~~~

The moment I stepped out into the hall to return to the room my arm was suddenly grabbed by someone. I was held against a sturdy chest with a force I couldn't fight against.

I was dumbfounded. The scent of summer grass and the smell of faint alcohol surrounded me.

When I came back to myself I was held tightly to Xu Mo. My back was against the wall and one of my arms was caught by him.

MC: Xu Mo...

My heart raced and I didn't know what to do.

Xu Mo looked at me with empty eyes.

Xu Mo: Is that person so important to you?

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo: Tell me. Who is that person?

Xu Mo suddenly came close, speaking in a censuring tone.

(Hold on. Didn't he hear me talk? Or... did he misunderstand?)

I looked up at Xu Mo. Complicated emotions that seemed about to overflow even now were being restrained desperately in his eyes.

MC: You've got it wrong...

Xu Mo: Tell me...

Xu Mo came even closer. The scorching heat of his presence enveloped my surroundings.

It was the first time I saw him with such a scary look. It was so surprising I had no idea what to do. I stared into his eyes and said this.

MC: It's you.

MC: ... The "man" I was talking about is you, Xu Mo. You're my important person.

Xu Mo's eyes became dazed for a second. The smell of alcohol disappeared.

MC: I was talking about you. But... it looks like I caused a misunderstanding...

Xu Mo regained his calm and quietly released my arm.

Xu Mo: I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?

MC: A little...

Xu Mo looked down and rubbed gently at my arm. I couldn't see his expression but his warmth reached up to my ears.

When we returned to the room everyone was still excited. My heart raced just from remembering what happened earlier.

Pressing on my chest, I told myself to "calm down". Then, so that he wouldn't drink any more alcohol, I secretly pulled his glass in front of me.

Yue Yue: President, you never sing, right? How about singing 1 song today at least?

Yue Yue held out the mic to me.

MC: Erm! I'll pass...

I looked at Xu Mo and nervously declined.

It wasn't that I was bad at singing. It was just that I wasn't prepared to sing in front of Xu Mo.

Yue Yue: If the president won't sing then I'll have Professor Xu Mo sing!

Hearing that, everyone became even more enthusiastic.

Xu Mo, who was looking at me, nodded. I also wanted to hear him sing.

He gave a soft smile and, holding a glass, went to the stage.

It was at that time that I finally noticed him wearing a black turtleneck and dark purple scarf.

The speckled lights shone on him and how he had a hand casually placed in his pocket. A languid and alluring atmosphere was brought out.

Xu Mo set his glass down. Then, after thinking a little, he came to me and nonchalantly took my hand and returned directly to the stage again.

He wasn't using a strong force, but there was a sense of pressure that brooked no refusal.

Before I knew it, he slotted his body against mine and placed his chin on my shoulder. The aroma of the alcohol mixed with a refreshing fragrance which was like grasslands after the rains stopped.

Xu Mo: What would you like to sing?

MC: ... Do I have to sing?

Xu Mo: I want to hear you sing.

MC: You won't be shocked after hearing my singing, right?

I raised my head and said this, pursing my lips.

Xu Mo: Then... why don't we try it?

His mouth came close to my ear and he said this in a low voice. I nodded in a dazed manner with a mind gone hazy from the alcohol.

Xu Mo operated the karaoke machine and a mellow melody rang out.

His palm covered my hand. It was a large hand which seemed to cover my hand and the mic together.

Something like a weak current seemed to run through my entire body from his dry palm...

His eyes stared straight at me... straight into the depths of my heart.

Something like a decision was reflected in those eyes.

Xu Mo: When I fall in love, it will be forever.

It was a low enrapturing voice, like a late autumn wind or the swelling night ocean. He sang with his heart in it.

That voice knocked on the door to my heart.

Memories came into my mind one after another.

The first time we met and his beautiful face under a dazzling light. The time we met in a movie theatre at midnight. That golden-colored picnic. That rainbow after the rain lifted...

All those memories rode on that singing voice and slowly flowed throughout the sparkling room.

MC: And the moment---

MC: I can feel that you feel that way too---

As we sang we came even closer together and our hands continued to remain touching.

From the beginning until the end, Xu Mo looked at me with a constant smile and eyes that held expectation.

Xu Mo: It turns out a song can be this short.

The song ended and we got off the stage.

MC: Xu Mo, you really do sing well!

Xu Mo's lips curved and he said this with mischievous eyes.

Xu Mo: Oh? Can I believe... the words of a little liar?

MC: Huh, what do you mean?

Xu Mo: I was actually looking forward to your shocking singing.

I remembered how I said earlier "You won't be shocked after hearing my singing, right?" and my face turned red.

MC: Who asked you to believe in that...

Xu Mo: Then what else have you tricked me on?

Xu Mo flicked my forehead with a finger.

MC: Um... before I said you didn't have to come if you were busy, but to be honest I really wanted you to come.

I looked at Xu Mo and, while thinking this and that, spoke awkwardly.

Xu Mo was surprised. Flickering light surged up violently in his eyes and I saw him swallow, Adam's apple bobbing.

MC: What's wrong?

He gave a long sigh and then spoke in a voice even lower than earlier.

Xu Mo: I won't do that anymore.

He looked apologetically at me.

Xu Mo: Why won't you ask if I've ever tricked you?

I blinked.

MC: Um... of course I know that you've tricked me.

Xu Mo: For example?

MC: You were clearly drunk earlier even though you said you weren't drunk. Even more, you misunderstood me...

Looking at her grumble, Xu Mo was a bit surprised and he laughed quietly. Then he drew in the glass beside his hand and drank a mouthful.

His mind was hazy. Her smile and the spotted lights swayed in front of his eyes.

He thought about how he was surely drunk. But that was fine. Being drunk was better.

The music could continue, the drinks could continue.

That way he could tell himself this. That he was taken in by this atmosphere and the alcohol. And that's what these gentle feelings and hesitation resulted from.

Xu Mo raised his glass and drained it all at once.

~~~

DATE DIARY

Everyone worked really hard for the first show of the new year. Finally, after it took shape, I learned that Xu Mo helped. I thought he had refused to though... Why?

On that day, if I remember correctly, I asked for Xu Mo's help but he refused me coldly. Why did he help me again at the critical moment? I don't really understand Xu Mo.

I thought Xu Mo wouldn't come to the New Year's party but he came on the day of. He said he became worried because I didn't answer my phone. During a game of Spin the Bottle, Xu Mo confessed for the first time that he had a person he liked.

I also talked about the person most important to me. But, because Xu Mo was drunk, he seemed to misunderstand that. I'm someone who rarely sings in front of others but for some reason I ended up in a duet with Xu Mo. There was joy in his eyes.