#also very sad because I don’t think I’ll be able to afford going to this class regularly

[laomelettedufromage]

Being the youngest by a couple decades in a group of old people who adore you is so much fun. They think I’m soooooo cool :P

[whoisshel]

The Pollywog

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

word count: 1873

tw: swearing

previous part

It was the day after Halloween, and you woke up with a raging headache that made your head feel like it was going to explode any second. Your body was buzzing from the alcohol still in your system and every movement made you feel sick to your stomach. Slowly rolling onto your back, you let out a loud groan at how awful that slight movement felt. Hearing a soft laugh to your right, you opened your eyes slightly to see a blurry version of Eddie standing next to the bed. 

“Good afternoon, sleepy.” Eddie mocked, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. “I have some Advil and water for you, but you have to sit up to take it.”

You groaned, closing your eyes again, and let out a quiet whine, “No.”

“Come on, I’ll help you.” Eddie set the stuff in his hands on the bedside table. He puts his hands under your armpits to help you sit up, and by help, he means do all the work while you just moan and groan. “Alright, do you need help with the water?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to open my eyes yet.” 

“Okay.” Eddie chuckled thinking his girlfriend, while being a bit dramatic, was very cute. “Ready?” You only gave a short nod to the question. Eddie grabbed the glass of water and pill, helping you take a sip of water before putting the pill in your mouth; a method you swear makes taking pills way easier. Once you swallowed the pill, Eddie handed you the glass to drink the rest of the water. “I have a big breakfast ready for you.”

You handed the empty glass back to Eddie before falling forward and leaning on his chest. “Thank you, you’re the best.”

“Only for you,” Eddie said softly, then stood back up, almost making you fall all the way forward. “Now come on, let's go eat and try to sober you up more.”

“Can you carry me?” You looked up at Eddie with your bottom lip jutted out.

Eddie leaned down and wrapped your arms around his neck then lifted you off the bed and you wrapped your legs around his waist. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I am.” You pulled back enough to let Eddie see your goofy smile. “We’re not going to school today, right?”

“Baby, you pretty much slept through school.”

“Good.”

—----------------

After eating and taking a shower, you started to feel good enough to have an eventful day with Eddie. They planned to go to the music store and buy some new cassettes and see the new slasher movie, Nightmare on Elm Street. The couple was happy that they were able to spend more time with each other this year with you taking a break from theater and Eddie once again dungeon master he gets to choose the schedule. While you love theater and love being on stage, you needed a break this year. After everything that happened last year and not being able to play your lead role in the musical because of your head injury, you were a bit nervous getting back into it. Even though you were a bit sad without theater, you were happy to see Eddie more. You could tell Eddie was still questionable about what went down last year, so you were hoping all this time you were spending together could take his mind off of it.

“Alright, ready?” Eddie asked you, who nodded in reply. The two of you walked out to Eddie’s car, Eddie opened the passenger side door for you then walked over to the driver’s side and got in. 

“Got anything specific you’re wanting at the music store?” You asked as they drove to the music store.

“Yeah, Dio and Metallica came out with new music in July, and after the amount of money I made last night I can afford them. What about you?” 

 “Well, at the party last night I saw a girl dressed up as Siouxsie Sioux and now I want to buy one of her cassettes, but also The Talking Heads came out with an album in September and I kind of want that too.” You pondered your choices, deciding that you’ll probably end up buying both. 

Eddie’s eyes widen in realization, looking back and forth between the road and you. “I saw her last night, I sold her some weed.”

“She looked so cool!” You exclaimed, jumping a little in your seat. “Made me wish we went as rock stars.”

“You didn’t like our costumes?” Eddie gave you an exaggerated pout.

“I loved our costumes.” You put your hand on Eddie’s arm in reassurance. “Our costumes were bitchin’.”

“They were, weren’t they? We’ll go as rockstars next year.”

You looked over with a big smile, loving that he was thinking about you being together in the future. It still made you happy even after two years of being together. “We’ll definitely have to do it next year.”

Eddie and you made it to the music store and were currently searching for the cassettes you wanted in separate aisles. Once Eddie found the two he was looking for, he walked over to where you were searching through the T’s in the Rock section. Coming up behind you, he took the cassette you already had in your hands so you would have an easier time searching with two hands instead of one. Mumbling thanks, you continued to look for The Talking Heads cassette and grabbed one when you found it. You turned around to face Eddie, waving the cassette around excitedly. Eddie snatched the cassette out of your hand and waved it around mockingly before putting it in the pile with the rest of the cassettes they acquired. You thought he was just being nice carrying them for you, but once you got up to the cash register, Eddie pushed them toward the cashier together instead of in separate piles. 

“What are you doing?” You reached out to separate your cassettes from his. “I’m going to pay for my own.”

Eddie pushed your hands back. “Don’t worry, I made a lot of money last night. I’ve got this.”

“I’ve got my… own money though.” You hesitated to say that the money was yours since it was really your parents. You knew you were privileged, you had money and Eddie didn’t. You didn’t want to make him feel bad, but you didn’t want him to spend too much money on him; especially since that money is supposed to help Wayne too. 

“It’s alright, babe, let me do this.” You could see the tiniest bit of pleading peaking in Eddie’s eyes, so you just gave him a big smile, that you tried to get to reach your eyes, and nodded.

With the cassettes paid for, the two got back in Eddie’s van. Eddie handed the bag of cassettes for you to get the music going while he started the car and drove them to the movies.

“What should we listen to first?” You asked, looking into the bag.

“Umm, Dio?’ Eddie suggested

You took the Dio cassette and put it in the car’s player. You looked at the name of the songs then turned it over to look at the cover. “I should change the Dio picture on that jean vest to this one.”

“Can you do that?” 

Looking at the picture again more closely this time, “Yeah I think I could do it.” You weren’t too bad at art, you weren’t the most perfect but you could manage.

“That’d be awesome, and like every time they have a new album you could paint the new one.” Eddie thought aloud, once again giving you butterflies at the thought of you together in the future.

—----------------

After the movie, Eddie dropped you off at home so you could check in with your mom and have dinner with her. 

You were upstairs getting changed into comfier clothes, your mom yelled for you downstairs, “Y/N, Jonathan, and Nancy are here. Said you guys are supposed to work on a project?”

At those words, you stumbled down the stairs in a panic, not because you thought you had forgotten about a project but because you knew what that lie meant last time. Pam looked back at her daughter thumping down the stairs wondering what the hell was wrong with you.

“Uh, hey guys, I completely forgot that you were coming over.” You stuttered once you made it to the front door. “Why don’t we go up to my room to, um, work on the project.”

The three quickly walked up to your room, slamming the door behind them. Jonathan and Nancy sat on the end of your bed while you paced in front of them as you listened to their awful and quite dangerous idea.

“Alright, alright.” You waved your hands in front of your face, dramatically, to get them to stop talking. “So let me get this straight, you two called Barbara’s mom, who you know is being recorded, to meet in the park so you can tell her what happened,” You paused, waiting for them to confirm what you just said and when they did you continued, “Okay, but you don’t expect Mrs. Holland to show up. This is a whole ploy to lure the bad people so you can record their confession of their inclusion in Barbara's death.”

“So are you in?” Nancy asked, believing you were repeating everything to make sure you had all the facts right before going along with it.

“Are you insane?!” You were not repeating to make sure you understood it, you were repeating it to try and get them to see how dumb this was. “This is a bad idea! It’s very risky, and quite frankly, stupid of you to want to do this.”

You paused, taking a breath to calm yourself down before continuing, “Listen, Nancy, I’m sorry. I’m very sorry for what happened to Barb and now what’s happening to her parents, but we can’t be putting ourselves in this type of danger again.”

“Well, we’re doing this with or without you.” Nancy stood her ground, needing to do this for Barb and herself. You understood that, you just didn’t think this was a good idea and to be honest you’re still scared from everything they went through.

“I know.” You hugged them one at a time. “Just please be safe. If it gets too dangerous, get out of there.”

“We will,” Jonathan said as you hugged.

You walked them to the front door, watching as they left. Pam came over to stand next to her daughter, curious as to what just happened. “That was fast.”

“Yeah, it was pretty much finished, just had to finalize it.” 

Pam looked at her daughter, seeing the distressed look on your face. “You alright, honey?”

“Can we order pizza and watch a movie?” You asked, leaning your head on your mom’s shoulder.

“Didn’t you already watch a movie today?” You pulled your head up to look at Pam with a shocked look wondering how she knew that. “You think I don’t know you skipped school?”

You cringed from getting caught, “Sorry, mom.”

“It’s alright, let me go order the pizza.”

[kinokoshoujoart]

scribbled down a relationship chart for the forgotten valley bros to collect my thoughts after snooping into their dialogue files, because i’m crazy over the barebones scraps of tiny interactions between them that we are given they’re a neat group of lads and i want to see them in lots of wacky situations together

rambling explanation and screenshots under the cut. spoilers for dialogue

gordy and gustafa are bffs and i love them!!!!!

they have mutual respect for each other… gustafa clearly admires and understands gordy’s art, and gordy seems to view gustafa as his closest confidant, he even gets you and Gustafa the new kitchen if you enter chapter 2 without being able to “afford” it yourself

they only really mention each other and don’t have anything to say about the other two boys

no one has anything bad to say about gustafa, which is exactly how it should be. blessed bard. it’s extra sweet to me that he’s the most well-liked bachelor both in and out of the game given one of the npc gossip lines your son can tell you— he grew up without many friends (in the original game the secret was that he was bullied). he deserves all the happiness in the world

matt opinions

matt shares his Opinions (slander) on gordy and rock specifically if you show him your kid with them, but has no slander for gustafa… his line for gustafa is instead just copied from what he says about the bachelorettes’ kids. so i count that as a gustafa win

i had to stretch to find any mention of gustafa by matt, the closest thing is that he comments that he doesn’t usually go to the starlight concert

i want gustafa and matt to interact!!! i want gustafa to give matt a tomato when he’s being gruff like he did with nami (matt: “th-thank you…..*blush* i already have ten billion of these”) matt also has lines about farm work being easier when you’ve got music accompanying you if you show him a record so i’ll count that as a very flimsy positive connection (matt IS friendly with gavin, due to frequenting the bluebird café, but is a bit reticent to make friends on his own)

rock opinions and social diseases

rock is extremely excited about hearing gustafa play music and calls him a wizard at the guitar and says he never gets tired of hearing him play. he also likes wandering over to gustafa’s yurt and listening to his music along with tei on market days (his most normal bachelor to bachelor interaction)

the only guy who gets no positive comment from rock is matt, instead rock goes to town roasting him in his fourth heart event out of envy for a completely imaginary situation and argues that he’s worth a hundred matthew’s (source?). he also likes to go into the already crowded farmhouse at night on market days and make it even more cramped, but he usually leaves right before matt gets home

finally rock has what i can only describe as a really odd one-sided crush on gordy!! he meanders into gordy’s trailer at 12:45 AM (AM) every market day and loudly, obliviously asks why there’s so much “trash” everywhere (you’re the trash, rock!!!!!!). thankfully rock is quite literally beneath gordy’s notice, however this seems to make rock sad and he tries to come up with wacky stunts to get gordy’s attention like drawing on gordy’s face and… holding his breath? (maybe, i dunno WHERE that dialogue triggers). he has a line celebrating gordy finally noticing him, i’m not sure what causes it though (for his part, gordy has no lines referencing rock)

finally, if you show rock your kid he will tease them by bragging that he was waaaay cuter at their age… but ONLY if it’s a bachelor’s child. rock your complex is so obvious that it’s more of a simple

in summary,

rock seems to think highly of each of the guys (except matt), unfortunately this manifests in him making really odd attempts to barge into their houses at strange hours and by trying to assert dominance in annoying ways. thankfully no one really notices anything he does (except matt)

matt doesn’t generally say nice things about anyone except cecilia (which makes the nice things he says, like about nina, more meaningful…) so unsurprisingly he has nothing nice to say about any of the guys, but he doesn’t have anything negative to say about gustafa. however he seems to want friends to do stuff with (he complains about how no one in the valley wants to go swimming…..hhhgg i am desperate to force rock and matt to spend time together. a friendship where you can’t stand each other but you’re the only two people who enjoy doing the same hobby so you put your differences aside and splash around in the water) like with rock no one really seems aware of matt’s existence except rock who is Extrwmely Aware to the point of knowing about matt’s crush on ceci, but unlike rock matt is not exactly jumping at the chance to go socialize with others

gustafa and gordy are friends with each other (and also both are friends with nami) and they support each others ambitions. i have no source but i’m confident that when gustafa visits gordy he’s also bringing him water and soup (he also visits daryl so i think it’s cool and fun if gustafa drops in on the local lost-in-thought creative hermits with hydration reminders and care packages)

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

very funny how i continue to go on the internet and expect to see well though, reasonable responses like some kind of fool. do i think watcher jumping to SVOD at this moment in time is a good idea? no, not really. i don’t think they quite have the streaming numbers or appropriate primary age demographic for it to work out. i also don’t think they put out enough content at the moment for it to be worth it (forgive the pun) for most people. i think they could have pivoted more slowly, outlined their plan further out from its implementation, and considered other non-youtube options instead of doing this.

i also think it’s really silly how people will bitch and moan about google’s monopoly on video hosting and the increasing nanny-state sanitization of the internet in an effort to appeal to advertisers who want every single piece of media to be palatable for people ages 03-99+, and then when a company does attempt to get around that because they have some basic artistic integrity people become furious that they aren’t being spoon fed content for free and on demand.

i have seen a good amount of responses that boil down to “oh i can’t afford that. that sucks. good luck guys!” and that’s a perfectly normal way to react. like you can be sad about not being able to afford content you enjoy. i would feel the same way and don’t see anything wrong with that.

but it’s so laughably out of touch to act like a company pivoting their revenue source so they can free themselves from under advertisers thumbs is … a scam? scummy? somehow #problematic? it doesn’t even make sense. not everything you don’t like that inconveniences you is cancellable. join the real world.

ultimately with what little knowledge i have i get the feeling they expanded too much too fast and are now trying to fix that without having to do lay offs / cancel future plans. i have, honestly, wondered why they have so many people on staff? it certainly must make everybody’s lives easier within the company but i don’t know if i think that, or their (admittedly very very cool) offices and super fancy sets, were necessary from the get go. i think they were used to a certain standard of production coming from buzzfeed, sought to recreate that in their own company, and came to realize they just straight up can’t afford to maintain that within their current business model. and that sucks. i and a lot of other people are definitely fine with, or even prefer in some ways, a less polished standard of production but it’s clear that they Don’t and the art they want to make goes beyond dudes in a car with blue and yellow text on a screen. they are all adults with established careers - that’s perfectly logical.

ultimately i don’t even know if i’ll sub. i’ll probably test run it. they’ve made a lot of content i enjoy over the years and would like to give them a chance. do i think it will work out in the long run? no. but it definitely won’t work if people act like wanting to pay their bills and give their employees health insurance is a crime and strike them from the public record of Perfect and Awesome Creators Who Will Never Fail Us On Pain Of Death.

but also maybe i need to stop looking for level headed nuance on tunglr dot come

[qvietspvce]

okay yup. so i’m happy that bee is moving out because this will be so good for her but i’m also a little sad and a little worried about what this means for me

i’ve really enjoyed sharing a house with people again. i didn’t realise how lonely and sad i got when it was just me.

it’s also been a huge weight off my mind to have other people help with the bills.

i could start looking at advertising the rooms out for other housemates but i’m worried about how the cats would react to two strangers in the house. i’m worried about how two strangers would act with me.

i don’t think i can afford living on my own anymore and i think i need to come to a decision about what my next steps are going to look like which means thinking about downsizing. if i move, it’s unlikely i’ll be allowed to bring three cats with me. which means i’m thinking about potentially having to rehome my creechurs.

i don’t want to rehome my creechurs at all but this is made even more complicated by the fact that i won’t be able to rehome mango at all. she’s not a “friendly” cat. she bites. she doesn’t like cuddles unless they’re on her terms and when she gets stressed she becomes very ill (as i recently learned). she also doesn’t get on with the other two cats in the house. this isn’t a problem currently because there’s enough space that the three of them can all be kept separate if needed. if i downsize to somewhere smaller i know that dolly-ollie and charlie can spend time together and will be fine but mango won’t be okay.

so i don’t know what to do.

i’ll figure it out. i’ve got time but i’m still worrying.

[keefwho]

July 19 - 2023 Wednesday

7:51 AM

I think maybe I have a case of imposter syndrome. Something I was reading related to how I think, “They wouldn’t say I was good if they knew what I was REALLY like.” It makes sense too, believing you’re a bad or broken person despite operating well on the outside will make you feel like that quote. But as soon as I defuse from self criticizing thoughts and develop better perspective, my self opinion improves greatly. 

2:11 PM

I feel like writing every time I am in distress which is almost constantly. Its EXACTLY like when I had my major anxiety problem because there was actually no break. It was constant, every hour. I do feel like I’m taking my first effective step in getting better about my situation though. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself because it’s only been a few days now that I’ve been applying focus on just a couple of things. Those two things are reminding myself that I’m me as much as possible, and identifying/defusing from thoughts that cause me distress. Whenever I feel ‘bad’, I try to think about what exactly is making me feel this way. Often times it will come down to a thought or belief that may or may not be true but either way is occupying my mental space in an unhelpful way. I’m trying to improve on noticing these thoughts and not letting them get to me so much. I can still feel bad about things as long as I’m not getting too sucked in. 

3:29 PM

At my core I just want someone to share things with. Experiences and feelings. Some to feel open and safe with. Someone who loves me as much as I love them. The yearning is strong.

3:55 PM

The thoughts are coming on strong. Thoughts like: “How did I fuck up everything so bad.” “Can I really move forward.” “What if I lose them.” “I can’t talk to anyone, they’ll hate me.” “I’ll never see improvement.” “My relationships are on the downhill.” “What if I stay lonely today?”

But they are only words. They might be true or untrue. They are just appraisals made by my mind about everything I got going on.

Im always irrationally worried that today will be the last time I talk to my bestie. I’m afraid she will become too aware of how fucked up I am. 

4:48 PM

I’m deep in, trying to defuse from my thoughts. There are just so many. I also have to defuse from the thought that I won’t be able to defuse. Its INSANE. I could use some perspective if only I could find a way to get it right now. I feel like I’m stuck in the past in a place that doesn’t exist. 

For awhile I was hopeful that I could rekindle a friendship with someone I had a falling out with but I think I’m far too late. Its something I let slip away and I’m upset at myself for it. I see old pics and feel sad that they are probably looked at by the other person as something hurtful. I handled everything that happened very poorly, all because I didn’t know how to handle my feelings properly and didn’t have a good grasp on myself. Thats why I’m still afraid now. I’m afraid I’m going to mess everything up again for similar reasons. Things I can’t even see yet. 

10:44 PM

This morning I ate beefaroni with some saltines in it and an applesauce. Kind of a weak breakfast but it was different than usual at least and very convenient. I tried making a stellar cup of coffee with extra sugar but got some coffee grounds in it. I did a warmup off stream and a little bit late. I felt very strongly that I wanted to make something mushy for my bestie. Just a little thing to show her how highly I think of her. I started my stream after that and only went for 1 hour 15 minutes instead of 2 because of how behind schedule I was. Since the commissioner is paying double I could afford to do that. We watched the King Ramsey episode of Courage today. I was also kinda brain dead like I didn’t know how to make non-awkward conversation. After stream I procrastinated a little bit before my workout. It was a pain in the ass setting it up but I got my mic, wireless headphones, and xbox controller configured to play VRchat while I walked. I did stay occupied but unfortunately made no conversation with anyone. I watched Henry’s Kitchen stream on the side. I did 2.5 out of 3 miles on the treadmill and ended early so I could mow the lawn which would also count as my cleaning for the day. Half the lawn is basically fully dead at this point and I don’t know what to do about that. I had a quick shower before making lunch. I made Rice a Roni Pilaf with broccoli, green beans, spinach, onions, and tuna. It wasn’t bad but I didn’t cut the onions very well and I don’t like the texture of pilaf very much. At this point I was starting to get in a bad mood and eventually got around to doing today’s request but I decided not to do project work today. I felt like sulking a little bit instead. Also my eyes hurt. I knew I couldn’t just sulk though and tried to work just a little bit on anything I knew I wanted to do. I played Pony Town and made a little addition to my house. I made the Hopping Homies VRchat group and a stand-in banner. I set up 2 new channels in my server specifically for my art and VR content. Might expand that in the future but this’ll do for now. I watched XQC stream and hopped into his discord server’s VC and actually made some nice little conversation while all watching him together. I kinda trauma dumped but so did the other guy I was talking to. It would be helpful for me to stop saying “im fine” even to strangers when I’m not actually fine. I’m not trying to sympathy farm, just be open and honest about being down because it’s okay that I am. I had a little VR time with the bestie after that and a nice  feelings chat with her. I probably have something to talk about almost every night but I do worry if discussing each other’s sorrows so often could be a bad thing. Thats just my brain talking, I feel as though it is good but on the surface it seems like it could get out of hand. But maybe not. It’s something I’ll figure out by feel. 

I think today it would have been best not to make that sketch, only because I sort of promised I would give less to my bestie because of how it can make her feel like she needs to do more. I made sure I wasn’t doing it out of obligation or anything though, I really wanted to do it. I got satisfaction out of it. I definitely wish I hadn’t of procrastinated as much as I did or shirk my project time. I did do a good job of channeling my energy into doing things afterward though. I popped off around VR time because I really do feel like myself around my friend. I feel at home in a way. It’s one of the few times I know what I want and who I am.

[alyjojo]

April 🌻 2023 Monthly - Cancer

Whole of your energy: 4 Wands

I’m having to “think like Cancer” with this one, because you’re sweet, and have a tendency to get involved with other people’s problems in the name of being sweet. Or a good friend. So for some of you, these are your own issues and you’re leaning on a friend for help/advice. For others, it’s someone else’s actual issue and you’re the friend they’re talking to about it. Such is Cancer life. I’ll just read it as you and if you’re the friend, you know what’s up. Someone is dealing with a toxic person or partnership, there is a breakup involved. And it may not be toxic per say, you or a friend could just feel stuck/trapped to an argument type of situation. Lovers may be involved, or suspected, it’s a whole situation of hurt and heartbreak here. If it’s you, hugs to you 💚 Someone may be staying with you at your house for a bit in order to clear their head, or it involves money, maybe they’re saving up. Or you are. A small side story here is being trapped to a property or home you maybe can’t afford, they could be raising the rent on you or you’re being hit with expenses you can’t afford, possibly due to toxic or overly expensive patterns/addictions of some person you’re with. Even if it’s just a friend, a roommate, casual. Your oracle cards show doubles, not triples, you don’t have a third 6 here and that means something while dealing with this Devil. It’s not the worst of things. There are also two 3’s and no third, which means there is no 3rd party conflict here. 555 is here showing conflict, being conflicted, or feeling competition with something, between you two. 999 shows independence and having to separate yourself from the double to focus on the self, what do you want? Or that’s the problem. You’ve also got 11:11 here with 4 Wands, and Overwhelm (11) & 9 Cups (manifesting your dreams) supports you being able to create the outcome you desire, once you get your head on straight. Truth being 12 show this is what’s needed to do that. Numbers seems to be your game this month, whew 😰 Comment if you’re a numbers person, because I’m normally not & my head is spinning with all of this! You can’t manifest what you want until you know what you want.

What’s going on in April:

5 Cups:

There is deep sadness here, regarding a message of being told you’re on your own, a relationship has broken up, a building is evicting you or becoming too expensive (for that story). If you’re the one that’s said or done this, you now regret it. The Tower shows this may have been a knee jerk reaction or something that’s happened suddenly and wasn’t expected, and 5 Cups is mourning, sadness, an energy of focusing so much on what’s lost that one doesn’t pay attention to what’s still standing, probably a good friendship with Lucy here. The Lovers following show what this 5 is upset about, for most of you.

The Lovers:

The Emperor is at grass roots, a married man. Doesn’t have to be a man literally, but masculine in energy, someone who follows strict guidelines and principles and expects others to follow their lead, it’s a boss, a father, and husband. You could be married to this person, maybe have kids with them. You’re upset about other options they may have, and this could be at work, that’s shown in the next row, or these could be friends. They may be hanging out with people after work. 3 Cups can be “partying” with friends, and The Devil up top can be lusty, deceptive, or relating to alcohol & addictions, it definitely goes deeper than suspicions, but I don’t see 3 Swords as an action. With The Devil, it’s clear some action has been taken, maybe messages, flirtations, your boundaries have definitely been crossed in some way and you’re feeling disrespected. It’s possible you went through a break-up, and your person ran off with some other person that could be a friend of yours. In the case of a home and a lack of finances, your person may be very indulgent and a big part of the problem *why* finances are slim. Their Devil energy would be the third energy, you can’t control it but it’s driving a wedge between you.

5 Wands:

Conflict, competition more like, there are several people in this mix, 7 Cups shows many options, but no one particular person that I’m seeing stand out. The Devil is with King of Pentacles, so it’s them that’s the issue, not all of these options. They wouldn’t be there if the door wasn’t open right? You’re placing blame appropriately. 5 Pentacles is feeling left out in the cold, you’re very open about your emotions even if it’s in a conflict sort of way. They were supposed to be a team with you and instead are playing the field or playing with the ideas of other options, work may be involved in some way, if you can’t get ahead and feel trapped to a dead end job. If a home, you thought the landlord or whoever was working with you and you had a good thing going, now you’re feeling a major lack materially, could have debts, something you were depending on has fallen through and it’s upsetting you deeply.

7 Cups:

In either story, these are your options. Maybe your person’s. Stupid risks and behaviors clarifies these options, and also that no action has been taken. Your person may be jumping all over your boundaries but hasn’t actually crossed them? Or *them* as they were before you moved the goal posts 😆 There is a feeling of restructuring boundaries for sure, at least on your end. If there are options to move or what to do with a property, you’re afraid of taking any actions and haven’t moved forward yet, the news is all still sinking in and you’re not acting impulsively with this. Ace of Cups is a new beginning. Could be with this person, or a new area, something is new, but you’re not going to just rush into committing yourself that later turns out to be The Devil…and by then you’re trapped.

9 Cups:

This is where your manifestations come in. You have to know what you want to create that for yourself, and you need clear answers from this person, property owner, businessperson etc., before you can do that. What you know you want is the end to stress, being stuck in your head worrying about everything, not knowing where you’ll be tomorrow or what this person is doing at work or with friends or or or 🦭 etc. King of Pentacles IS stability, that’s what he’s the King of, so if he’s also trapped in Devil energy it’s a trickle down effect of wtf that affects you too. This could also be a job, I don’t really get that, but when it’s Pentacles it can always be work. The literal building you work at? Trying to work at home? This last row says you just want to be happy, maybe an apology from this person who decides to knock it off and make a decision. Could be you apologizing if this whole thing is switched. It’s possible you’re making up, but if so it’s still not 10 Cups, you’re at a 9 and offering a Page, that’s pretty telling that you’re still thinking and deciding independently, offering flirtations and sweet offers but not UNION, and making this person prove themselves. If a property or business, you could be trying to be the bigger person and offer something to make them change their mind or work with you. You could also find an option that makes you happier than you were with what ended, it takes a lot of stress off of you, but there’s no clear cut answer in April, just an offer, or one you’re contemplating on making. Page of Cups is good news 🙏

Signs you may be dealing with:

All earth, all water, Aries & Gemini

Oracles: ✨

66. New Start

- Sometimes we must realize that what we have done needs to be discarded and we must make a new start.

11. Overwhelm

The hard work we love can leave us feeling burdened, drained, and burnt out, among other problems.

12 Truth 🦅

The eagle proudly surveys its domain from such a high perch that all pertaining to this situation are revealed. The shadows hide nothing from your keen vision. Once you can remove yourself from the muck that lower vibrations keep you in, you can attain a viewpoint that enables you to see the truth of the matter. This card advises you to search for the truth of the situation, regardless of the emotions it brings up. Are you or someone connected to you unconsciously suppressing the truth? Hiding from the truth can only intensify the lesson later on.

We enter into April as:

Lucy From Indigo 💟:

“I’m so glad you’re in my life.”

If this card has come to you, then you’ve been graced with a connection and you are most fortunate. One of the most valuable assets in our lives is friendship. This is a reminder to be grateful for the people in your life, this itself raises our vibration to a higher level. If you are unhappy in any relationships, Lucy is a reminder that it is always in our power to change it. Whatever lack you are feeling in your life, if you give that to others, you will receive the very thing you feel deprived of. The time is now to become what we want to become. If you are withholding from anyone it is you who will suffer the consequences. Be the example and live this day with gratitude. Kindness is contagious. In order to be who we want to be, we must simply be that person, there is no mystery to being a good person. Good people do good things.

What is to be learned in April:

The Emerald Stone 🧩

“The heart knows what the eyes cannot see.”

There are times when things happen to us and no explanation is possible. Often our journey brings us full circle, leaving many of us to wonder why. The Emerald Stone is inviting you to follow through in whatever is before you. Going back is not an option. Forward movement will change your entire perspective on life - for the better. You may now be able to hear something that you have been told many times. Your reward will be a closer relationship with yourself. If Emerald Stone sparkles for you, it is with the understanding that you are now developing a new perception of things. The Stone welcomes you out of the dark and into your heart.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

[sensitiveeeeee]

Quietly Acknowledging my Accomplishments

It has been 9 years and really my whole life working for this. This program was so transformational, and I am so glad I got to experience it with such amazing people these past 3 years. And it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I didn’t know if I’d be able to get through it.

This graduation means a lot to me because it isn’t just about getting to the end of this really difficult clinical psych program. It’s about finally having the career I want. I didn’t even feel like celebrating my undergrad graduation at the time because I was still so far from my goal of being a psychologist and helping people in a way that best suited me. But more than that, it’s about getting through everything that I had to do beforehand to be able to even be in school.

I think back to the very beginning, being 18 and going to a community college because it’s all I could afford for myself (no shame in that at all) and being in a miserable job where I was treated like a dumb kid (because I was a dumb kid, to be fair), having no idea who I was, losing/distancing from friends because I couldn’t have “the fun college experience” with them, and most impactful, getting into jobs in the psych feild where I really had to see and hear some shit and sometimes literally take punches from people experiencing something that was beyond their control, trying to protect them from themselves and from each other.

I’m thinking back to my black eye from years ago because it’s important to me to remember the ugliness that had to come with the good. There were a lot of ugly, terrifying moments that are too much to talk about, but that was probably the best physical reflection of it that I could capture.

There were beautiful moments too, like seeing a girl’s face light up from looking in the mirror after doing her makeup for fun in that inpatient facility that was often so sad and scary, other girls asking me to do their makeup or “getting in line” for me to draw them a picture, being able to keep them company and provide words of encouragement or coping skills to overcome urges to self-harm, laughing at things they said because so many were the funniest, brightest people, laughing and crying with coworkers and being inspired by their strength to lead and continue in that amazing work. People in that particular job and the one I had before continue to inspire me. I don’t really have pictures of the priceless moments that made me stay for years, but they will always be in my mind.

Confidence has always been my weakest area, and I had a lot of growing pains that really sucked, but I can say I’m proud of the person I am now as I come out on the other side. Looking back, I did THAT. I started out at 18 knowing absolutely nothing. I paid my way through school. I got out of this notoriously rigorous program with a 4.0 all semesters and got honors in undergrad while working very intense jobs because I wanted to do something meaningful in the field as soon as I could, while also fighting my own battles with mental illness and learning how to treat them myself. Ironically, I have never been helped by therapy, either because empirically supported treatments weren’t being utilized or I simply couldn’t afford it. But this program was like therapy. By learning from it, I slowly learned how to heal myself.

Pride feels very eventful when shame has been your default for so long. It’s very weird to say, but soon, once I pass the licensure test, I will be a psychologist. I am forever grateful to the psychologists and professors who guided me and told me they believed in me, and my classmates who struggled and grew with me. I’ll never forget how we leaned on one another.

I’ve changed over and over again throughout the years in my perspectives, beliefs, and opinions and still am. While I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to accepting myself, I can say I am so proud of my grit and my open mind. I’m proud of going through everything while being a very sensitive, soft person. I’m proud of doing this despite not believing I could, knowing I’d have to work harder because of my ADHD. And I’m proud of that thing inside me that made me do all this, the desire to help people find what is in them to ease their own mental suffering.

I almost cried when my professor, a pretty stoic man, who I consider to be a genius, said to me a couple weeks ago, “It has been really rewarding to watch you blossom into a more confident version of yourself. You are smart and talented, and I’m glad future students can learn from your written work and you can help so many people.” That was kind of a full circle moment for that little girl who was in title I and struggled with a learning disability. This has been one giant full circle. Even if things are still hard, I think just the act of doing this for myself was worth it.

I thought of writing this as “self-aggrandizing” in the beginning. To be fair, this is a giant self-congrats. But it feels like it’s time to openly give myself credit for once after almost a decade, never stopping to take it in and allow myself to consider all I’ve done. I have always been a skeptical person, and I feel like, over time, something broken inside me healed by proving my shame wrong with evidence.

[unrequestedthoughts]

Oh hey journal.

It’s me.

You didn’t forget about me, did you? ‘Course not since you’re a journal and have no cognitive abilities.

Anywho, Haley told me to journal, so here I am.

Oh, what’s that Journal? You want an update on my life? Well, I’ll tell you. Also, why did I just personify you by capitalizing the J in Journal? I don’t know but I figure I need to talk to someone or something and you’re the lucky bastard.

Life update: I haven’t made much professional development, oh, and I became a dad.

Who knew having a child would be so sweet and so hard and so infuriating at the same time? I love my little bug so much - waking up with her in the mornings as she stretches and waves at the world. I love making her belly laugh as I pour water from a cup into her bath. I love seeing mom and her laugh and learn together, a connection that is just perfect. But it’s also hard - I feel irrationally angry at times when I’m so tired, or just want some relief from the kiddo. I lament the days I could go on solo runs or rides, and even when I have the opportunity to do such a thing, I feel an immense amount of guilt about being away from the fam.

It’s such a strange thing: On one hand, I have to be selfless and giving of a whole chunk of my life. Yet, on the other hand, I need to preserve myself in order to support the family. Right now, I’m feeling like I don’t have a self - I’m just existing, not living. I feel stuck at work where more and more people seem to be achieving and growing in the company and I’m stuck in the same place as I was 5 years ago. It’s frustrating and embarrassing and makes me want to quick cold turkey, but guess what? I can’t. I couldn’t do that as we would have very little income and I can’t make that leap.

How do people do the grind? How do people have so much drive and focus during the day to be able to achieve great things? I’m rapidly approaching my 33rd year on this earth, which means that IF I live to 100, I’m nearly a third of the way. IF I make it to 70, I’m nearly half-way there. Death still scares me immensely, but that’s another topic all together. What I’m frustrated and saddened by is that I feel like I’ll just be average for the rest of my life. I know it may sound silly, but I feel that I’ll just never do much that is notable, and I know that this is based on my own perception of success and it is distorted by societal pressures. It is a feeling I experience frequently and it concerns me. Me, the slightly-above average person. I don’t know why that makes me so sad.

Maybe it’s the fact both my parents and my only sibling achieved “it”. And what do I mean by “it”, well, that is the question. Why the fuck am I so concerned about the success of my parents and sister in comparison with my own success? Why the fuck do I compare with others in the same way? I don’t know, maybe it’s because I WANT that. I want to FEEL successful. I want to be able to afford the reasonable car without having to worry about the mortgage. I want Haley to feel secure in how we’re able to save for our future yet still live an enjoyable life. I want bug to grow up with as many opportunities to grow as she can. I want to be able to buy bike parts and not have to scrounge for something to sell to justify it. I want to be able to buy firewood because it is a need, and in this moment in time, I do not have the ability to put in the time and effort to split my own wood. Being tight on money is a whole other type of imprisonment. It is crippling and stifling and all consuming. And even then, we have a fucking house, two excellent cars, gear for so many activities, and have never had to question if we’d have food on the table. I’ve got it made, but I want more, or at least I think I want more.

I guess I’m not sure what I would want if I didn’t have all these pressures pushing against me. My hope is that I would want a simple life and to love people. Haley asked me what matters most to me and I answered “Caring for people”, but all this shit I listed above… other than my direct family, who is it caring for? I want to justify my desire to make more money (I guess my idea of success, in this instance) as a way to pour into others, but I know if we made $20K more a year, we could easily just pour it into our own life. We’d pay off the car, only to start looking for a new car/house project/vacation. I’m selfish at heart, and I know it. I only think about things for myself, not for Haley. Jeeze, this is all over the place.

So. This rambling. What is it all for? Why do I desire “success” and define success by how much I can make? It’s because I see that making more is the way to being a little bit happier and more secure. Okay, I guess not happier, but maybe more secure. But, is that what life is about? Being secure? I mean, when one has a kid, it changes fucking everything. I understand why dad’s take crazy jobs with crazy hours in crazy locales when the pay is good - it allows them to better provide a secure future for their family, but I seem to not have that drive. Maybe I need to define what security looks like - Maybe it’s more accurate to say I want security versus success. Gah, i don’t know where this is going.

I can’t start this paragraph with “So” because this was supposed to be my “here’s the point” paragraph, but in looking just a little bit iup the page, I see I was supposed to have some sort of idea of how to move forward or have a revelation of some type in the previous paragraph. I think one of my realizations is that I truly just want security, financially speaking. I think we will always be frugal with our finances (heck, my ‘dream car’ is a plugin-hybrid RAV4) but when it’s tight and we have to pick this or that, it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating to not have the freedom to say yes to things. I see how folks can get behind and then the next thing they know they’re drowning in life. And I also see how having more fluid funds can provide a sense of security in the “well I can buy my way out” or “I can always afford any solution” but that’s not what life is about.

Life is about caring for folks. Life is staiying at refuge and hearing folks’ stories about life on the streets and growing up in abusive households. Life is laughing at funny sounds and pop-up dogs and cats. Life is about loving folks - connecting and truly knowing someone. But I’m so concerned about fucking STUFF.

God it makes me mad to even type that out, but it’s true. I need to change my mindset. I need help focusing on what is truly important and reasonable and to abandon thoughts of mediocrity. Maybe I will get to have a fancy pants job and make a shit load more money, but will I be caring for folks better? I sure hope so but I don’t know for certain.

Well, it’s 9:20, and my eyes are getting heavy, so maybe I’ll just close them and start typing just what my brain thinks. Yeah, I’m gonna do that. It’s like predictive texting but it’s all in my head which is wild, like how am I doing this while also falling asleep? I’m not sure and I’m not THAT tired, (he lied). I know I need to be less distracted at work, and I think I need medication to hopefully help with focus and drive - I’m dying at work all because of my own volition. I am my own worse enemy, sabotaging what could be a good thing, mostly because I want out of there. I have a messed up view that I don’t need to put in the effort because “what’ll they do, fire me?” But I need to work toward something. I think I need meds to help with my focus as I get so distracted and can’t figure out how to focus. Ironic that just a year ago I had a Ford Focus AND a Focus Mares bike, both my modes of transportation begging me to narrow my concentration on something specific. That went real well, didn’t it?

Now we’re at the epic song in the soundtrack by m83 (it’s my writing soundtrack) - and it feels like I should be wrighting a tear-jerking coffessional about how the world is so pur and simple and that the chains of societal pressure have slipped off, but there I remain clinging to the societal pillar, not wanting to let go because I can’t see what’s att he bottom of the abyss between holding to social norms and not giving a flying fuck about what I should be doing. I need to know what I am doing is valuable. It canhave value at least.

I’m helping folk s out with thtier passwords nad troubleshooting, and I guess that’s good.

Okay, I just opened my eyes and them spelling errors are atrocious. I’m calling it, Journal.

Night, Journal

[ilovemycrayons]

you smoke & I’ll have a drink [emily prentiss x reader]

I’m in love with Emily Prentiss & It is quite sad the literal choke hold she has on me. I slammed this together while sT0n3d as shit, per usual how I spend my nights & this is how i imagine being in a relationship with Emily where she is okay with her girlfriend smoking & loves it because it makes her girlfriend more honest & fun to play with. 

I don’t post what I write usually so I don’t know how to do warnings but if you’re not a fan of drinking or smoking w33d then this is kind of full of it. fingering, praise talk i think is in here, probably self esteem issues i wouldn’t put it past me. I don’t know I’m sorry i tried. Just be warned I guess. But if I missed any please let me know. also yes the grammar is probably piss poor & i think it is written in 2nd person or something i’m so sorry in advance.

Everything was working out perfectly. It was Friday night, the new case they had picked up earlier in the week was finished and the suspect was in custody, and to celebrate it was girl’s night. You had heard all about it from Emily on her drive home, making your heart sing hearing the happy and relaxed tone in her voice. it was also warming to know she had managed to find some time to go out with her BAU girls especially after such a case from the little details you got from the news coverage & Emily. 

“i want you to come with us. i also know what you need to do to feel comfortable in a setting like that, if you want to smoke first i can pick you up in 30 minutes if that works for you.” 

the line was silent for a minute while you tried to collect your already high as a kite thoughts. “i- i don’t understand what you mean. i would never do something like that… like smoking.” it was so forced and such a lie anyone could have caught it. you had a suspicion that was one of her favorite things about you, the fact that you were such a bad liar. she must find entertainment in you always scrambling to find a good lie to bark out at her. 

“absolutely baby, not a little stoner at all. i will see you in 30 then.” you could picture the smile on her face and your stomach flipped just thinking about it. you hung up the phone and ran into your bathroom to get in the shower. 

you had no idea what it was that kept her so interested in you. she was the head of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, studying and catching some of the worst serial killers ever. smarter than anyone you have ever met, but you’ve heard rumors about Dr. Spencer Reid. you had a good job & made enough money where you were able to afford an apartment comfortably by yourself, but exactly as she said, you were a smoker. you only smoked at night mostly to go to sleep & relax and when you went out you chose to be high rather than drink. after your shower you dried off, did your hair and makeup, before throwing on a big tshirt to wait until Emily was close to picking you up. you had fifteen minutes left before she would be at your door. turning on something on your tv you smoked until you got the text from emily that she was on her way. you ran back into your room and picked out your favorite dress that was short at the perfect length and showed off your chest quite nicely. 

in perfect synchronization with putting your lipstick away in your bag for the night, the doorbell rang. you took a last look in the mirror you had by the door and opened it to reveal a smiling emily. she was still in her work suit but it complimented her so well and she knew you loved it when she wore them. lately, emily had been letting her hair grow out and the beautiful gray show more which was making you weaker in the knees each time you saw her and sending you through the roof. it took you too long to realize you were admiring her until you looked up at her and saw the look on her face. “h-hello.” you finally squeaked out. 

“hi little bird, you look very pretty.” she smiled scanning your figure, her eyes following your curves leaving a small smirk on her face. “are you ready to go?” 

“yes,” you smiled and put your bag on your shoulder and took your jacket off the hook. you closed & locked the door behind you then followed emily down to her car. the rest of the night was filled with high energy & great drinks. you had met penelope & jj before at a night out with the team but never this intimate. you relaxed through the night as they asked questions to get to know you better and you all made jokes about some of the guys that tried to come up to the table. 

after a few hours you all said goodbye and you were soon back in emily’s car heading back to your apartment. “i’m glad you came out with us,” she smiled and placed her hand on your thigh. “did you have a good time?” 

feeling her hand on your thigh your back was now flush against the car seat. “i had a lot of fun. it was nice to meet JJ & Penelope outside of the group, they are so nice.” you quickly glance down at Emily’s hand that seemed to be a little further up on your thigh than before, but you both knew you weren’t complaining. the drive back to your apartment was a comfortable silence until emily parked and turned to you and smiled. 

“thank you for a wonderful night. would you like to come up for another drink before you go?” you you look up and can’t help but smile when she turns the car off and grabs her bag from the back seat.

 “i would love to.” she smiled and kissed your cheek before getting out of the car. as you walked up to the door you got your keys out and led her inside. you were happy to see your apartment was clean enough for a guest. you walked to the little bar in the corner of your kitchen and made emily a quick rum & coke which had been her drink of choice for the night. “thank you baby,” she smiled and took a sip. “will you be smoking i assume?” emily smiled and walked through the apartment looking out the back slider to the deck, smiling at the rolling tray on the table. 

“oh, uhm if you don’t mind sure. we can sit outside, it’s my favorite spot in the whole apartment.” you smiled and walked out with her. you had spent so much time making a small corner of the patio to be a perfect smoking corner. you sat in your usual spot while Emily sat right next to you and sipped her drink, answering some messages on her phone. you got to work making a little joint, picking out the perfect nug, fitting it into the grinder just right, and you definitely enjoyed hearing the sound of the weed being grinded, knowing that a beautiful pile would be waiting for you in the middle chamber. After you were done, you pulled out what you needed to roll. you pulled out her new favorite lighter -of-the-week and lit the joint. 

Everyone knows the best hit is the first, and this one did not disappoint. you felt all of the muscles in your body (except your lungs) completely relax and tensions were all gone. Instinctively you pulled out your phone and opened your favorite app and began scrolling while continuing to smoke. It was amazing to you that Emily didn’t always need you to entertain her. you two were completely comfortable just being with each other, whether you were talking or playing around, or just being in the same room together without saying a word. This was the perfect time to just sit and enjoy each other’s company while Emily sipped her drink and you smoked your perfectly rolled little joint.

After some time had passed, you put the remains in your ashtray and sat back in your seat. “That felt amazing.” you giggled as you felt the slow buzz go through your body. “This is my favorite flower I’ve gotten so far.”

“i hope you will be able to get it again,” Emily said in a soft voice while picking up her hand and bringing it to her lips to kiss the back. “Why don’t you come over to the couch with me,” she smiled. “I feel like it has been forever since we actually sat together.” she stood up and gently pulled you up with her before getting as comfortable as she could on the outside bench. Luckily it was padded, but it didn’t add much. It also didn’t help that she pulled you down onto her lap. she wrapped one hand around your waist and the other on your legs keeping you close to her. “Now this is more comfortable.” she chuckled.

“Think so? I’m definitely comfy.” you smiled and nuzzled into her chest. you stayed still while she held you, leaning her cheek against the top of your head and rocking you both very gently which soothes you a little too well.

Emily pulled back and smiled at you. “I think you deserve another. You’ve been so supportive this week,” her voice was soft and low, sending chills through your whole body. Emily definitely noticed as she put her hand on your cheek and you nearly melted against her. “If anything, baby, do it for me.”

Carefully, you got down off her lap and set yourself up between her legs facing the table. Surprisingly, it was more comfortable than you thought. you started the same process again, but was distracted when you felt Emily’s lips against your neck. The jar that held your flower was put back down on the table and you leaned back against Emily’s chest.

“Bird what happened? Can you not concentrate?” she leaned you up and pulled the table closer. “Maybe you can’t reach, maybe this will help. ”

you picked everything up again, starting where you left off. It wasn’t long into your process until Emily started again. A slow trail of kisses on all sides of your neck, this time accompanied by some traveling hands. All on your sides, trailing down to your thighs and back up again to your chest (which you were grateful for the fact you chose against any kind of bra.) you playfully pushed her off so you could stand up to reach the roller on the other side of the table.

When you did, your panties were pulled to the floor, leaving you completely exposed under the skirt of your dress. you turned around to Emily laughing. “Really? Are we children?” you reached down to pull your panties back up but was stopped when Emily grabbed your waist.

“I thought you would be more comfortable this way.” she  smirked and pulled you back down onto the couch with her. Emily’s lips were back on your neck and her hands lying comfortably on your thighs. “Anyway, continue.” she hummed. Emily slowly trailed her hand up your body from your thigh and up to your chest and softly began to massage your breast, while placing light kisses along your shoulder and back up again. Her other land lightly glided up your thigh, getting closer to where you wanted her to be. 

Emily’s hand on your chest slowly got more aggressive, grabbing more man massaging and mixing between teasing and pinching your nipple that was now between her fingers easily slipped under the top of your dress. The hand that was on your thigh was now drawing light circles against your clit, slowly leaving you a shaking mess against her. 

“Oh fuck Emily, I’m so close.” you finally whined out. Her lips were on all of your sweet spots along your neck and shoulder, her hand on your breast twisting and pulling at your nipple, and her fingers moving in a faster circle while your climax was rushing over. 

“Cum for me baby.” she hummed and kept her pace helping you through your climax. “Good job baby, you did so good.” she hummed and held you when collapsed back against her, breathing heavily trying to collect yourself. “I think you deserve that second joint now.” emily laughed lightly and kissed your cheek. 

You laughed and sat back up again finishing what you started. You set everything up and looked around the table for your book of papers, only to realize they were on the other side of the table. “Shit,” you mumbled. “My papers are on the other side of the table.”

“So then get them.” Emily smirked looking up from the message she was answering on her phone.

You gave Emily a suspicious look but decided to trust her. You hesitated another second before standing up and reaching over the table for the papers. When they were in your hand, just as you predicted, you felt two of her fingers slide inside you. “Oh fuck!” you screamed but quickly bit your lip once you were reminded you were outside.

Emily laughed with a teasing tone and slipped his fingers out before pulling you back down on the couch. “Oh birdie, so wet for me already. Are you finished rolling yet?”

“I just have to add uhm, the paper. So one more step.`` As you explained, you completed each step and were finally greeted by a beautifully rolled joint. You picked it up and held it in front of your face. “Perfection.”

Emily handed you a lighter which you happily took and lit the joint in your fingers. You enjoyed the first few hits before Emily took your body and turned you towards her to kiss her. Emily’s hands traveled again and her tongue started exploring your lips, teasing against you. She broke the kiss turning to face you forward before scooping you up and sitting you on the couch while she got comfortable next to you. Emily placed her hand on your cheek slowly down your body until it was between your legs again and sliding her fingers over your entrance knowing it was teasing you more than ever now. “Don’t forget about your joint.” 

“Please?” you whined and leaned your head back taking a hit and blowing it out. “Please.”

Emily slipped two fingers in and waited for you to adjust and get comfortable. Instinctively, you started grinding against her hand, causing emily to smirk. “Oh fuck Emily.” you moaned.

She wrapped her other arm around you and slipped the strap of your dress down, exposing your breast, giving her more room to go back to playing with your nipple as she did before. “Look at you baby, you look so perfect for me, grinding against my hand, you’re so wet for me too. Are you enjoying yourself bird?”

Hearing all of her words of praise, and nursing the joint you made sent sparks through you helping you keep a steady pace of your hips. You bit your lip harder as your climax built, holding on to the arm and back of the couch for support. “It feels so good Emily. I’m gonna cum again, I’m so close.” 

Emily chuckled playfully and leaned down to take your nipple between her teeth, giving a soft bite and softly kissing as an apology. “Cum for me birdie, now.” she barked and leaned back, enjoying the moment. On command, another and stronger wave washed over your body and after what felt like an eternity, you finally collapsed next to Emily, who brought you into her side, but careful of the blunt that was almost finished. On the last hit you took before you exhaled, emily softly put her hand on your neck giving it a small squeeze as you exhaled before she kissed you again. 

A little surprised by her actions you ended up with a little bit of a coughing fit but got it under control quickly. “Wh-what was that? I’m not complaining, I’m just asking.” she took the finished joint from your fingers and put it out in the ashtray before sitting back on the couch with you.

“Oh baby, I’m full of surprises. You’ll just have to wait and see.” Emily smiled as she curled you up in her arms close to her chest and lightly rubbed your shoulders and back. “I love you.” she whispered.

~~~~

Anyway, I told you it was kind of a mess but i had to get the idea out. Let me know what you think of this one please. Again, i know the grammar and spelling and everything isn’t good i told you i tried my best & just worked on getting the idea on paper & if you might be interested in another work in progress that i can rewrite to prentiss. 

taglist because they interacted with the post from earlier : 

@darcyfangirlsfrequently​ @strawberry-miku​ @natasharomanoffisbaebby​ @kennedy-alexis​ @evilregal2002​ @ssalinaprentiss​ 

[slutforgoodliterature]

Peter Parker x Reader - One Bed...

A/N: ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE

Warnings: smut, ONE BED TROPE (need I say more?)

“Um... I think I got the wrong room.” You hear a voice come from the door. You whirl around and see Peter scratching his neck awkwardly holding his own bag. 

You turn back around to the one, emphasis on one, bed in the hotel room. You laugh awkwardly yourself and look at Peter over your shoulder. 

“Seeing as there’s only one bed, I’d say one of us has definitely got the wrong room.” You look down at your room key and check the number on the door. 

Yep, 26. You see Peter do the same and he also has the key for 26. He sighs and gives you an apologetic smile. “I’ll go talk to Mr Stark now. He’ll sort it out.”

“I’ll come with, just in case I’m in the wrong place.” You pick your bag off the floor and cross the room to where Peter stands in the doorway. His very presence gives you butterflies, but you steel your face and look up at him expectantly. 

He clears his throat and takes a step back from you, looking over your head. He rarely meets your eyes but you try not to take it personally. You hold back a sad sigh and stare down at your bag. 

“Um, I think he’s in the suite,” of course he is, “I’ll go ask reception, you can stay here.” Peter directs and without another word, he starts walking down the hallway. 

“Ah, Peter! Where you off to, young man?” You both whip your heads around to face Tony’s voice. You find him marching jovially down the hall towards you in a white hotel bath robe. 

“Just trying to f-find you, Mr Stark.” Peter stutters, face going red. 

“Well, consider me found!” Tony laughs at himself and spreads his arms wide. In one hand is a glass of white wine. “What can I do you for?” 

“We’re just wondering which of us has the wrong room? We both have the key for 26.” You explain and point at the number on the door.

“That would be because you’re both in room 26.” Tony states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Duh.” 

“There’s only one bed!” Peter squeaks, his face even more red. You swear his ears are scarlet at this point. 

“Okay? If it’s that much of an issue, build a pillow fort, I don’t know.” Tony throws up his hands and almost sloshes his wine. “Or, be a gentleman and take the floor, Spider-Boy.” He points at Peter. 

“Are there no other rooms?” You ask pleadingly, not because you would hate to share a bed with Peter, but because you don’t know if your heart could take knowing he would rather sleep on the floor than potentially touch you.

Tony sighs and takes a long sip of his wine. “Nope, it’s tourist season in Prague and we nabbed the last few rooms. I figured the youngest should share if anyone has to. Not like I can share a bed with Banner, I’d wake up with a massive green di-”

“Okay! Image not needed, thanks!” You cry and cut him off. He laughs maniacally and spins dramatically.

“Ta ta, kiddos! See you bright and early!” He waves as he disappears around the corner. 

“You’d think a self-proclaimed billionaire would be able to afford a hotel with more rooms.” Peter mutters as he shuffled back to your shared room. 

“I can hear you, sport!” Tony’s voice drifts around the corner and you vaguely hear the words ‘character building’ before silence falls upon the two of you. 

This time, your face goes red as you both face the bed. You drop your bag on the floor and twist your fingers together.

“I’m gonna have a quick shower...” You don’t even look at him as you disappear into the bathroom, hoping a cold shower will help you calm down. 

You wash your hair and scrub yourself with the hotel soaps and conditioners. Not even freezing water will slow your heart rate. You sigh heavily and step out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a fuzzy white towel and using another one to twist your hair up. 

It’s now that you realise you left your bag outside. With all your clothes in it.

“Good one, you moron.” You mutter to yourself, 

“What’s that?” Peter calls from bedroom.

“Nothing!” Stupid super-hearing. “Just talking to myself!” Oh that’s way better.

You grit your teeth to stop yourself from saying anything else stupid. You open the door and walk timidly into the bedroom. 

Peter is sitting on the edge of the bed on his phone. As soon as you walk into the room, his head shoots up and he stares at you with wide eyes. 

“Oh!” His eyes rake your towel-clad body and his face goes pink again. You grimace awkwardly and pull down the bottom of the towel to try and cover up more but it pulls down the fabric around your chest. 

You clutch the fabric desperately and cuss. He closes his mouth closed with a snap and looks down at his hands quickly. 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to- not that you- I mean- I didn’t see- there wasn’t anything showing... not that there’s nothing to show, just that- sorry!” He covers his face with his hands and collapses onto his back on the bed. “I’m going to stop talking now.”

You’re not quite sure what to make of his rambling, but you’re sure your face is just as red as his. “Sorry, didn’t mean to freak you out.” You swallow the ball in your throat and cross the room, avoiding looking in his direction. “I’m just going to get my bag.” 

You scurry back into the bathroom, bag in tow, and shut the door louder than you meant to. As you brush your hair and clean your teeth, you repeat the last few minutes in your head. His wide eyes, his slack mouth, his words:

Not that there’s nothing to show...

You were definitely overthinking this. That didn’t mean anything. Plus, he has made it quite obvious that he’s got no interest in you.

Sure, you guys are friends. It’s impossible not to be his friend. And he hangs out with you a lot. It helps that you guys were the same age. But he also avoids physical contact with you like you have the plague. 

You pull on your pyjamas, a white oversized top and plaid pyjama shorts. You eye yourself in the mirror, thoroughly unimpressed at what you see, before tip toeing back into the room. Peter is standing next to the bed, in his own plaid pyjama pants and white top, waiting nervously for you to arrive. In his hand is his own toothbrush and a single pillow. 

“Um, I’m just gonna brush my teeth and then I can sleep on the floor-” He starts but you cut him off. 

“You really don’t have to do that, Peter.” You stand on the opposite side of the bed and you both avoid eye contact. 

“It’s really okay.” He promises, but the hardwood floor under your feet is freezing, and you’re even getting cold just standing there. The quilt is calling your name. 

“Peter, it’s freezing. If you’re trying to be chivalrous, don’t worry about it. I really don’t mind.” You lift the cover up and start to get comfy before freezing and looking up at him from under your lashes. “Unless... you don’t feel comfortable sharing with me.” His eyes are on your bare legs but he quickly looks away once he notices you looking at him.

“Y/N-” He starts but you cut him off. 

“I won’t be offended, Peter. Really.” You promise him and he meets your eyes earnestly. 

“Me? Uncomfortable?” He raises his eyebrows and points at his own chest. “I was worried about you being uncomfortable.” 

You huff a laugh. “I’m fine with it, Peter. Seriously!” You say in earnest when you see his incredulous face. “We can even build a wall out of pillows if you want.” 

He turns his nose up. “I don’t wanna give Stark the satisfaction.” You both laugh and the tension eases somewhat. 

That is, until, he comes back from brushing his teeth and slides into bed next to you. You’re facing the opposite wall and sleeping on the very edge of the bed, and you can tell he’s doing the same. 

But the bed is small and you can still feel his body heat radiating onto your back. You take a shaky breath, knowing that with him so close to you, you’re not going to be sleeping very well. 

The butterflies are like wasps in your stomach. All you can hear is his breathing, and you might be delusional, but it sounds as shaky as yours. 

“Night, Y/N.” He whispers in a gravelly voice. 

“Night, Peter.” You whisper back and shut your eyes, hoping in vain that sleep finds you fast and this awkward night can end. 

You’re not sure when you fall asleep. One minute, you’re freezing cold and staring at the wall. The next minute, you’re struggling to breath and staring at an arm under your head. 

And it’s hot. 

As you come to your senses, you realise that you’ve ended up on your stomach and Peter is quite literally lying on top of you. One hand is tucked around your waist, his hand resting between your ribs and the mattress. His other arm is under your head, your new pillow apparently. And something hard is pressing into your hip...

You suck in a breath, your heart instantly racing. His breath brushes across your hair, your head tucked under his chin. 

You don’t wanna wake him in case he freaks out and how close he is to you, but at the same time, your arm that is stuck under your torso is completely numb, and the leg he has tucked under his own is full of pins and needles. 

You try to move as slowly and softly as possible, but you should have known that with Peter’s spidey-senses, that was never an option. 

He wakes with a deep inhale, his arms momentarily tightening around you before he freezes completely. You wait a couple of seconds for him to say something, but it stays silent.

“Morning.” You whisper. He doesn’t move an inch. 

“Um...” his morning voice is deep and gravelly and shoots sparks down your spine, straight to between your thighs. The hot length pressing into your hip doesn’t do anything for your senses. 

“I’m just trying to move my arm...” You explain, wriggling around to try and free your arm. As you move to pull your arm out, your ass pushes up against his erection and he inhales sharply, his arm that was around your waist suddenly grips your hips roughly. 

“Don’t move.” He says quietly in that sinful gravelly voice. You freeze immediately. For five painful seconds, you both just lie there. You feel the length, which is now pressing against your ass, getting harder. 

You swallow loudly. “Peter?” You ask into the darkness. He inhales shakily and begins to loosen his grip on your hips.

“Y/N... I... I am so sorry.” He whispers, starting to pull away from you. “I have no idea what came over me-”

“I don’t mind.” You say quickly. He stops in his tracks. “I mean... I’m not uncomfortable, if that’s what you’re worried about.” You don’t dare move a muscle. 

“You don’t mind?” He asks softly, still frozen. 

“Not one bit.” You lick your lips nervously. “Plus, it was getting really cold. The heat is kinda nice.” You admit.

 He exhales slowly and carefully, cautiously, curls his body back around you. “The heat is nice.” He agrees, resting his chin on the top of your head again. You hum in agreement and snuggle closer to him. Your hips rock back into him accidentally, and he inhales sharply. 

“Um-” He starts, shifting his hips away from you. “I’m sorry about that...” You grab the arm around your waist and it stops him again. 

“I’m not uncomfortable.” You assure him.

“You promise?” He asks. You turn your head towards him and he lifts his head off the pillow the look down at you. 

“I promise.” You whisper, trying (and failing) not to look at his lips. He studies your face intently, the dark making it a bit hard to see, but he’s so close you could count the freckles on his nose. 

He nods once and you both settle back into your spooning position. The hand around you waist tightens and pulls you back against him. Your heart begins racing and your stomach churns in anticipation. 

His fingers trace circles on your stomach over the fabric of your shirt and it’s driving you insane. There’s no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing, right??

His head shifts so his lips are at your ear. “Your heart is racing.” He whispers, his breath raising goosebumps along the back of your neck. 

“Really?” You ask breathily, knowing damn well what the answer is. 

“Mhm.” He hums and begins tapping his fingers on your stomach to the beat of your heart. Yep, it was fast alright. “Do I make you nervous, Y/N?”

You laugh shakily. “A bit.” 

“But you’re not uncomfortable?” He double checks. 

“Not at all.” His fingers speed up with your heartbeat.

He hums thoughtfully.

“Are you uncomfortable?” You ask. 

“In a way.” He laughs, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-” You try to untangle yourself from him but this time, it’s his turn to hold you in place. 

“Not for the reason you’re thinking.” His grip falls on a bit of your exposed waist, his fingers digging into your skin.

“I don’t understand.” You breath.

After a few seconds of silence, he finally answers. “Can I show you what I mean?” 

“What?” Heat rushes between your thighs. 

“Just tell me to stop, and I promise I will. Okay?” He huffs and before you can say another word, he presses a soft kiss below your ear. Tingles shoot down your spine and you can’t stop the gasp escape your lips. 

He waits a second for you to tell him to stop, but you don’t say anything, so he continues. 

He bites down gently on your ear lobe. Instinctively, you shift your hips back against him. He inhales sharply and grinds his erection on your ass. He fists your t-shirt in his hands and he tightens his grip around your waist. 

He sucks on a spot below your ear, making you let out a tiny moan. It makes him laugh under his breath, knowing what he does to you. You grind against him again, just to show him you mean business, and he pushes right back, his hand digging into your waist.

Peter then props himself up on one elbow, leaning over you, and tugs your shirt off your shoulder. The stretched neck hole allows it to bare your skin to him. Immediately, he presses his lips to the junction of your neck and shoulder. 

You gasp again, but it quickly turns into a moan as he bites down gently on your skin. You raise your hand to grip his head behind you, tugging on his hair. He continues to thrust his hips into yours. 

Both of your breathing becomes more and more ragged as he trails kisses down to your shoulder and back up your neck, your hips moving in tandem. When you pull on his hair harder, he lets out a groan.

“Y/N...” he whispers, his voice full of need. You turn onto your back and he quickly cages you between his arms, propping himself over you. One of his legs falls between your own, his thigh dangerously close to your center. 

One of your hands in on his shoulder, the other holding his bicep. 

Fuck, he’s ripped.

He stares down at you, eyes blown out with lust, his brown hair hanging over his forehead

“I wanna kiss you.” He admits, his eyes darting to your lips.

“What’s stopping you?” You whisper, running your hands along his shoulders.

“I don’t want it to ruin our friendship. I like you too much, Y/N.” His head lowers and he rests his forehead against your own. Your breath is mingling, lips only an inch apart.

“I really like you too, nothing is going to change that.” You smile, looking intently into his eyes. “Unless you take any longer to kiss me, you loser.” You joke and he returns your smile, eyes darting to your lips again.

“My apologies, miss...” he smirks before finally pressing his lips against yours.

The kiss is soft and sweet, at first. Your lips move in a slow dance.

Slowly, your hand traces up his neck to cup the back of his neck. You pull his face against yours a little harder, needing him closer. He smirks against your lips, dropping down onto his elbows to cover your body with his own.

You can feel every muscle, every piece of his bare skin against your own. His length presses hard into your hip and you hitch your bare legs around hips to feel him even closer.

He lets out a small groan as his clothed erection rubs against your centre, covered only with your thin cotton panties. One of his hands rakes through your hair and fists is tightly. The small amount of pain that tingles through your scalp makes you gasp and it sends waves of pleasure to your core.

Your gasp allows him to slip his tongue tentatively into your mouth, and you welcome him with enthusiasm. Your tongues push against each other as he devours you, pulling you impossibly closer by your hair.

He grinds into you purposefully, his hips moving sinfully against yours. You moan as he applies perfect pressure to your clit with his hard length.

The hand that isn’t carded into your hair begins tugging roughly at your top, pushing it up your torso and baring your skin.

“I want this off.” He almost growls, and it shocks you because you’ve never heard Peter so aggressive. But goddamn, does it turn you on.

“You first.” You grin playfully, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath following his assault on your mouth.

He quirks an eyebrow at you before kneeling between your spread legs, sitting back on his heels. He towers over you, looking down at you with complete lust. In one smooth movement, he reaches one hand behind his neck and pulls his shirt skillfully over his head, tossing it away.

He smirks down at you. “Your turn.”

You blink hard, trying to pull yourself together after that incredibly sexy undressing. With way less grace, you pull your own shirt over your head. You feel dumb, having none of the finesse, nor the incredible physique he has, but the way he looks  at your makes these feelings all but crumble.

“Holy shit, Y/N.” Peter’s jaw gapes at you as he takes you in. You blush a deep red and go to move your hands to cover yourself. He suddenly leans back over you and pins your wrists to the bed, stopping you in your tracks. You gasp.

“Nuh uh. You’re beautiful.” He says earnestly. “Honestly, beautiful isn’t enough. I can’t think of a strong enough word to describe you.” He presses his lips to yours and you’re thankful he doesn’t wait for you to reply because you’re honestly speechless. 

“I-” you start when he pulls away but he silences you again with his lips. You moan into his mouth, flexing your wrists but he doesn’t budge. 

“If you’re just going to argue with me, I’m not letting you talk.” He murmurs against your lips. 

“I just wanted to say thank you.” You shoot back, totally lying. He smiles and goes in for a deep kiss, his tongue dancing with your own. 

“Sure you did.” He smirks again. He lets go of your hands and one hand props himself over you whilst the cups your waist. His thumb runs along your underboob, raising goosebumps in its wake. 

His hips grind back against yours and your instantly putty in his hands again, all feelings of inadequacy forgotten. 

“Fuck, Peter.” You cuss, circling his waist with your legs and pushing your hands through his hair. His lips leave yours to start trailing along your jaw. He nips at your earlobe for the second time that night and your back arches off the bed. 

After he realises how this makes you react, he goes ham. Tugging at your lobe with his teeth, sucking harsh on the skin right below your ear... it’s heaven. He drinks you in like a man who hasn’t had water in days. 

Peter begins kissing down your neck and along your collar bones, leaving dark hickeys on his way to your breasts. 

“Is this okay?” He looks up at you with glazed eyes, his hair wild from your tugging and his lips pink and plump. 

You nod eagerly, not trusting your voice to remain steady. He grins at your response and dips his head down to place a sloppy kiss on the peak of your breast. You arch your back, pushing your chest up towards him. He takes this as a sign to go for it and quickly places his mouth over your nipple, kissing it lightly. 

You let out a loud moan, egging him on. His hand begins to knead your other breast as he sucks and nibbles at your bud, making it stiffen. Once he deems it to be enough, he swaps breasts, giving the game treatment to the other. 

The whole time, you’re squirming under him and letting out breathy moans in between muttering his name. 

“Shit, Peter.” You swear, tugging at his hair to bring him back up to your lips. “I didn’t expect you to be so...” 

“Godlike?” He jokes, but you can tell it means a lot to him for you to be praising him. 

You nod and let out a small laugh, tracing your hands along his abs and feeling his muscles clench under your fingertips. He lets out a shaky breath as you near his waistband.

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually a massive virgin.” He chuckles as he traces your breasts with his long fingers, watching your skin goose-pimple in satisfaction. 

“Could’ve fooled me.” You smirk, toying with the string of his pants. 

“Oh yeah?” He laughs, but his breath is unsteady and his muscles are clenched.  

You hum, pressing kisses along his jaw and neck, leaving a few hickeys of your own. He hisses and grips your waist hard as you suck on his sensitive skin. 

You begin to palm him through his pants and marvel at his size. He thrusts into your hand, swearing. 

“Fuck, baby.” He searches for your lips. 

“Baby?” You whip your head back and quirk an eyebrow at him, not stopping your ministrations. 

“Sorry, just slipped out.” He winces. “Do you not like it?”

“I don’t mind it.” You shrug coyly, which was a total lie. It turned you on that much more. 

You finally slip your hand into his pants and grip his sizeable erection. He kisses you in desperation, keeping his hips as still as possible to let you have control.

The hand that cups your waist begins trailing down your hip and runs along your leg, which is still around his waist. He squeezes the flesh on your hips roughly before slowly tracing his fingers along the waistband of your panties, just like you did to him.

You slowly pump him with your hand, which wraps tightly around his girth, making him groan. He’s not exactly super thick, but he more than makes up for it in length. 

He looks at you for, silently asking for your approval, and he respond by kissing him. He sighs into your mouth and runs a finger along your seam, over the top of your panties. You gasp and try to shift your hips into his hand as the soft pressure he’s applying is driving you insane. 

“Patience, baby.” He laughs against your lips, softly circling your clit from over the material. 

“I need more, Peter. Please.” You keen and he relents, tugging your panties down your legs in one smooth motion. 

“You’re relentless.” He grinds his erection, which is harder than it has ever been, onto your exposed center. The only thing separating you two are his pyjama pants, which are damp with his precum. “What do you wanna do, Y/N?”

“I want you, Peter.” You look up at him with begging eyes, trying to reach his lips, but he keeps his head out of your reach. “Please, Peter, I need you to fuck me. Now.” 

His eyes widen infinitesimally, and with a groan of his own, he meets your lips in a scorching kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him as close as possible, your bare skin burning where it meets his. He pushes his pants down his legs and shakes them off. 

Finally, the two of you are both naked. You gaps into each others mouths as your hips meet with nothing separating them. The head of his member pushing between your folds and collecting moisture, slicking it. 

“You’re so wet, baby.” He says against your lips.

“That’s what you do to me, Peter.” Your breath hitches and he grinds against you again. 

You’re thinking that you might just kill him if he doesn’t quit teasing you, but thankfully he pushes himself up on his hands and stares down at you intensely.

“You sure about this?” He questions. 

“I’ve never been more sure about anything.” You say back, cupping his face. You share a tender moment, which is broken by your load moan as he rubs the tip of his dick along your folds. 

“Shit, I gotta get a condom.” He swears but you grip his wrist that’s near your entrance. 

“I’m on the pill. And I’m clean.” You swear he nearly jumps in joy. 

“Thank god.” He guides his tip to your entrance and rests his forehead against yours. 

“You’re incredible.” He says in awe, and before you can answer, he begins slowly pushing into you.

The feeling of him first entering you is indescribably amazing. You stretch to accomodate his larger-than-average length, your eyes creased and your breathing hitched. You fingernails leave crescent marks in the meat of his shoulders. He cusses as he eases slowly into you and bottoms out. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight.” He studies your face intently, looking for any sign on pain or discomfort. “You okay?” 

“You’re just... bigger than I’ve had before.” You breath heavily. You can basically hear his smirk so you add: “Don’t let that get to your head, Parker.” 

“Too late.” He presses soft kisses around your face, giving you a minute. “Can I move now?” He asks timidly, not wanting to hurt you. 

“Please.” You nod, catching his lips in a kiss.

Peter draws his hips back out and thrusts back in, slowly, but forcefully. Your eyes rolls back at how good it feels. He reaches a place in you that you didn’t even know was possible. 

His hand cups your face gently, stroking your cheek as you adjust to his size. After a few strokes, the sting of pain is replaced by an overwhelming throb of pleasure. 

“Fuck...” You curse loudly and he swallows your moans with his lips. “You feel so good inside me.” 

He whimpers in response to your words, thrusting in a little harder. You let out another obscene moan.

He kisses you, the both of you moaning against the others lips. You tighten your legs around his waist and pull him in faster. 

“Faster, Peter. Please.” You beg, tugging at his hair. He growls in response and speeds up. The only sounds in the room is the slapping of your skin and your combined panting.

You can feel every ridge of his member as he continues to thrust into you hard and fast, followed by a slow, torturous pull out. The dichotomy only adds to the ball of pleasure that’s growing between your legs. 

“You feel so good, baby.” He says between kisses. He continues to pump into you, his hips circling deliciously. 

You can feel your legs beginning to shake as a wave of pure pleasure threatens to pull you under. 

“Peter, I-” You gasp at one particularly deep thrust. It hit a spot in you that send sparks flying up your spine and made your toes curl. “Fuck, just there.” 

His eyes narrow in concentration and he tries to find that spot again. He grips your legs behind your knees and pushes your legs up to hang over his broad shoulders. The new angle allows him to hit that spot over and over and over until you can barely see. 

“I’m gonna-” you moan, your head thrown back against the pillows, “You’re gonna make me cum, Peter.” You reach a hand up and scratch down his abs, drawing a high-pitched whine from him. 

“C’mon baby, I wanna see you cum for me.” He begs, keeping his face consistent but you can tell it’s taking effort for him to not speed up. 

The ball of energy in the pit of your stomach continues to grow until you can feel it spreading through your limbs. 

“Faster Peter, I’m close.” Your eyes scrunch up and your hand grips his wrist next to your head so he doesn’t push you up the bed with his intense thrusts.

He speeds up and you can tell he’s close as well by the way his breathing is hard and his pace becomes erratic. 

“Fuck, so am I, baby.” He pushes your legs up next to your head and leans between them to kiss you urgently. You’re folded almost in half but any twinges that might possibly be felt are completely overshadowed by the toe-curling pleasure Peter is giving you right now.

“Come with me, please.” You beg, tearing your eyes open to make eye contact with him. He looks at you with completely lust-blown eyes and it pushes you over the edge.

“Go on, baby.” He groans and you feel the rubberband inside of you snap, sending you spiralling into space. You see stars behind your eyes and you cry out loudly as he drops a hand to start circling your clit, pulling you through a vortex of pleasure. 

He silences you with a kiss, his thrusts becoming manic as he reaches his own high. Chanting your name like a prayer, Peter finally peaks, the feeling of your pussy tightening around him way pulling him into his own tsunami of pleasure. 

His fingers stop circling your clit as you scrabble at his wrists, trying to make the overwhelming pleasure cease. Even so, he continues to piston inside of you, making your legs shake and your toes curl. 

“Peter... Peter...” you whisper against his lips, feeling him fill you up. You rub his back as he comes down, his thrusts becoming sloppier and slower. 

“Holy fuck.” He gasps, resting his forehead against yours, one of his hands caressing your cheek. 

“That was.. fucking incredible.” You sigh, kissing him softly. 

“You’re incredible.” He corrects, not yet pulling out of you. 

“I thought you said we weren’t gonna argue about this?” You murmur, your body feeling like jello. He laughs and finally pulls out of you. You suddenly feel empty, and cold. 

“C’mon, let’s get you into a shower.” He says and pulls you up by your hand. You slump against him and he picks you up with ease and carries you to the bathroom. 

“Are you joining me?” You mutter, head in the crook of his neck. 

“If-If you want.” He stutters. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” You ask, dazed. 

He freezes. “I just didn’t know if that was gonna be a one-time thing. You know, for the sake of body heat and all that.” 

“I thought I made it pretty obvious how much I liked you, Peter. I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” You pout at him, but he avoids your eyes. “Unless that’s what you want, then...” You try to wriggle out of his grasp  but your legs don’t have any strength to hold you up. He catches you as you’re halfway to the floor. 

“Y/N... no. Just no.” He sits you on the edge of the bath and kneels in front of you. “Sorry, I’m just not good at talking.”

He cups your face delicately and looks at you with what you could only call adoration. 

“I like you too, this will not be a one time thing. Okay?” You nod once. “Good now let’s get in the shower, I’m freezing my ass off.”

You smile to yourself as he helps you up. You catch him smiling as well and the two of you lean in for another kiss.

fin

[wri0thesley]

Hello Nat! It's me! The same anon who sent the Househusband Risotto asks a few weeks ago. Could I request a fic of Risotto with no.21(a Househusband au) and some pregnancy fluff? Congrats on 5k (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

brand new - risotto x reader

you have something to tell your husband. 

warnings: soft fluff, sfw. afab reader, no pronouns. pregnancy, talk of children, brief allusions to risotto’s past life. 

You’re surprised by just how easily Risotto falls into a domestic life.

You’d thought that his past would haunt him more; the fallen comrades, the Mafia business, the blood on his hands – but he’s surprisingly pragmatic about it, when you hesitantly bring it up.

“It happened,” he says. “I miss them. But I’ve been given a chance that they didn’t get, and I intend to take it.”

It’s more than your stoic, quiet husband usually says at once, and you feel it pierce your heart like an arrow. Your hand brushes over his broad shoulder in as much comfort as you can give him, and Risotto looks at you with the lightest smile on his lips that makes you feel like the luckiest person in the whole universe.

Risotto becomes the house-husband as if he’s been waiting to be able to do it for his whole life.

Oh, he makes some mistakes – some little things, like washing a pair of your red underwear in with some shirts that you wear for work. Planting the wrong kind of seedlings at the wrong time of year – trying to fix the plumbing himself instead of calling a plumber.

You two muddle along, but as a whole Risotto seems to be thriving, and that makes your heart leap in your chest like a prima ballerina.

Your heart thumps double when you come home after a long day of work and he already has dinner simmering on the stove, an apron wrapped around his broad frame – it’s emblazoned with the legend; “Hot Stuff Coming Through (and I don’t mean the food)”. You breathe in the scent of his cooking; something deep and rich.

You come up behind him and wrap your arms about him, resting your cheek on the centre of his back.

His muscle has gone a little soft now that he’s not working out so often or in as many life-or-death situations, but he’s still broad and amazing and perfect for holding onto.

“Smells great,” you say, sighing, kicking off your heels in kitchen to be put away later. Risotto’s eyes stray to them all higgledy-piggledy on the floor, and he frowns;

“Nonna’s recipe,” he says. “Aren’t you going to put those in the shoe rack?”

“I’ve only just gotten home,” you pout at him, but your pout quickly breaks into a smile as you see the exhaustedly fond expression on his face.

Now that he’s not an assassin – now that he doesn’t need to hide everything he’s feeling under the guise of being cool and cold and collected – Risotto’s face seems to move more. He finds it easier to express his emotions. It’s still little things; twitches and furrows, instead of his entire face transforming – but it’s more than before.

He’s comfortable. He’s happy.

You, and him, and the little world that you’ve build all around you two.

You bend over to pick up your heels, opening your mouth to say something over-dramatic about his newfound house pride – but you’re stopped by an ache that shoots down to the centre of your back, a noise of pain escaping you before Risotto can turn lightning quick and wrap a strong arm around you.

“Are you alright?” He’s asking, brow creasing slightly in concern. Panic flares in your stomach – you don’t want to tell him like this.

“Y-yeah,” you laugh it off, straightening up with your shoes in your hand, the other going to massage your back where you can reach. “Guess I was just sat in the wrong position at work for too long, huh?”

Risotto looks sceptical, but he can’t leave his boiling pots for too long. With a searching look at you, he returns to the stove, murmuring low;

“I’ll give you a massage later.”

You smile at his back as you walk towards the shoe rack in the hallway. You know that saying that will have made him blush; despite how long the two of you have been married now, he’s still nervous about things like that. His hands still shake a little when he goes to hold you. He still licks his lips before he kisses you, murmuring in a deep voice;

“Is it really alright?”

You always wind your arms around his neck and pull him in as your way of reassuring him that it’s perfectly fine. It’s hard, you think, for him to accept that he deserves all of this – but you’re eternally glad that the two of you get to share it together.

Little reminders of your shared home and life are scattered all about your home. A picture of you and Risotto at your wedding, framed and hung in the hallway; his suit is a little too tight, because he left it too long and it couldn’t be tailored properly to address the fact that he’s built like a superhero.

A bookshelf that has your romantic novels next to his own gothic horrors; a skull candle that burns red from its eyes as it melts perched on top. Also perched on top is a trinket dish that he made and painted for you at a pottery class he attended to try and get him out of the house whilst you were at work – you use it to dump your keys in.

It’s supposed to be a heart shape, but it’s more of a very uneven kidney.

The carpet you two had chosen together; you’d wanted something cheaper, but Risotto had insisted you could afford this one – he’d been right, and it’s soft beneath your stockinged feet.

You love him so much.

Your hand cups your stomach protectively now that you’re out of Risotto’s sight. You think of the tiny life inside of you; half Risotto, half you, already loved more than they’ll ever know even without Risotto knowing that it’s there. You can’t wait to tell him.

His hands are gentle on your shoulders, big and warm and softer than they once were. They’re still a little calloused from the garden work he enjoys doing, but he no longer handles weapons and you buy him sandalwood-scented hand cream instead.

They feel so good as they slide down your shoulder blades, brushing the notches of your spine, soothing circles pressed into your skin with his thumb. You sigh, relaxing into him. The feel of the palm flat against the small of your back – where the ache is the most pronounced – makes you relax even further into him, toes curling, a sigh escaping your mouth of relief.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He asks you, his voice measured. Your eyes flicker open from where they’ve closed in comfort.

“W-what’s wrong?” You ask him, nervously, and Risotto makes an ‘mm’ noise in the back of his throat. His hands do not stop the massage as he goes.

“You’ve been out of it for days,” he tells you.

(He’s right. You’ve been out of it since Monday, and it’s now Thursday; Monday is the day you’d woken up with your stomach heaving, remembered how long it had been since your last period, and bought a pregnancy test on your way to work. You’ve done three more since then, and all of them have showed the exact same result.)

“Have I?”

His hands move to your shoulders, gently twisting you around.

“You have,” he says, his red-and-dark eyes fixed firmly on you. “If there’s something wrong, I’d like to fix it.”

“It’s nothing you’ve done!” You say, all in a rush, but Risotto has successfully caught you nonetheless; his eyes narrow.

“So it is something?”

Heat rushes to your face. You forget, sometimes, because he cooks dinner and does the gardening and goes to his pottery class, that he was a battle-hardened mafia assassin who has done more interrogations than you will probably ever know (you never bring up his former employ unless he brings it up first). He’s an expert at gently needling the truth out of people.

“It’s not something that’s wrong,” you say, weakly, but his eyes are still pinning you in place.

“Tell me,” is all he says.

You think, in the back of your head, you’d had some kind of grand plans to reveal your secret – maybe involving balloons, and a cake, and a little party hat perched on top of Risotto’s silvery pale hair. You think you wanted to make a big deal out of it; one more reminder that the world he left behind is well and truly in his past now. But now you’re on the bed with him and he’s looking at you so tenderly in a soft grey shirt for sleeping and a pair of loose boxer shorts, all ruffled and sleepy and domestic . . . Now feels like a good time too.

“I’m pregnant,” you tell him.

You swear that you could hear a pin drop.

He blinks at you, as if he can’t properly process the statement.

“You’re—”

“We’re having a baby.”

“Oh my God.” His voice is very small. He reaches out, hesitantly, eyes wide – big hand hovering over your stomach. “Can I . . .?”

“Yes,” you say, breathless as his hand rests on it. It’s not curving, yet; the fancy test you’d bought today and done in the bathroom at work had said it thought you were well past three weeks, but that’s still early days. Your eyes stare down at Risotto’s scarred, huge fingers – so careful with you, despite what he’s had to do to survive.

“I can’t believe it,” he tells you, and your throat feels tight.

“Me neither,” you admit. “But . . . I’m happy.”

He meets your eyes. There are tears brimming in his – you have never seen Risotto Nero cry. You’ve seen him sad, of course (a sad downturn to his mouth when a dog dies in a movie, or when the rosebush he’d been carefully cultivating had failed to achieve a single bloom) – but there’s an actual tear rolling down his cheek, sparkling in the bedroom light.

“Me too,” he says, and it seems entirely natural. Entirely true. Your heart aches with how much you love him.

You two don’t say anything for a few minutes, content to just look at each other, the warm knowledge of what you’re sharing making the air seem hazy and unreal.

You think about the pitter patter of little feet. The spare room you can turn into a nursery. Going to pre-natal classes with Risotto, choosing baby clothes, seeing him out and about pushing a fancy perambulator (you’ve always wanted one of those tacky, over the top ones that look like a Victorian nanny’s contraption, and you know that Risotto will agree to it--).

You think about him in the delivery room, your nails making crescent moon cuts in his palm. You think about his encouraging tone; you think about the hand-grown flowers he’ll no doubt bring you.

You imagine him cradling a little bundle of joy; tiny in his huge arms. His lips leaving gentle kisses on tiny foreheads. Him reading to your baby, him tending to scrapes, him and you and your child and the life that neither of you ever thought you’d get to live together.

His face is shining, fully transformed. He sees you looking at him with droplets shimmering in your tear ducts and he wipes them away with one big, warm thumb.

“I know,” he says. “It’s not just for me. It’s for all of them, too.”

“Yes,” you say to him. Your voice breaks, pitches, as you manage to get out: “I’m so happy we get to spend the rest of our lives together.”

He looks at you, so tender you feel like you’ll come apart under his gaze.

This moment is going to shimmer in your memory forever, you think. You’re glad that this was how the reveal went. This is much more like the two of you than any fancy reveal or ribbon or cake (you might still get a cake, anyway – Risotto has a sweet tooth).

“I love you,” he says, like warmth that wraps about your heart. And then; “What about naming it Formaggio?”

There’s a beat. You stare at him.

Both of your mouths stretch into a smile, a soft huff of laughter escaping his lips that makes you feel like you’re listening to a symphony.

“Maybe we should workshop names a bit more,” you tell him.

He agrees.

[uitzinnigmp3]

hello all! so i’ve been making gifs on my sad little ipad air 2 for almost 2 years now, and i’ve learned quite a lot in those times, often through trial and error. i know there’s lots of people out there wanting to learn how to gif, but not being able to afford a laptop, or not being able to download photoshop, etc. so i thought i’d share what i’d learned about giffing on iOS devices! note: i don’t have and have never had an iphone, so i am not certain about what works for them, but i guess that anything which works on an ipad, will also work on an iphone! so with that said, let’s get into it :)

this is going to be quite a long and image-heavy tutorial, so i’ve put the rest under a read-more :)

you will need:

an iOS device (not sure how this works on all devices, but i think as long as it’s still receiving software updates, you’ll be fine!)

app: inshot

app: vont

optional: a VPN

youtube app or download folders (will be explained!)

these are all the steps i go through when making a gif and the apps/websites i use for them. in this post, i’ll be explaining all of them:

choose & download video (youtube/mega/gdrive)

trim & crop video (photos app)

colour & overlay (inshot)

text (optional) (vont)

convert video to gif (ezgif)

resize (optional) (ezgif)

post! (tumblr site)

without further ado, let’s get into it!

1. CHOOSING AND DOWNLOADING THE VIDEO

there are two ways to find and download a video to gif: through youtube or through download links like mega or google drive. here, i’ll be explaining both of them.

1.1. downloading via youtube

first, find the video that you want to gif. always make sure the quality is high enough! 1080p is the best, and you should always try to find it. 720p is also doable but really the minimum, anything below that is basically not worth it. 

copy the link of the video you want to gif, then go to https://yt1s.com/en130 to download it. (you may need an adblocker to block the popups, but clicking them away works as well, for the rest the site is super clean!)

paste the link into “search or paste youtube link here” and press convert, then in the drop down menu, select the highest quality possible (preferably 1080p, as said before). 

press “get link” and then press “download”. a popup will appear, asking you to press download again. if you press this, an arrow symbol will appear next to the search bar at the top. press this symbol, select the video, then press the “send” symbol and choose “save video”. the video is now saved to the photos app!

1.2. downloading via download folder

download folders work in a pretty similar way to downloading youtube videos, the hardest part is just finding the folders! for this, i recommend either asking some friends or mutuals (especially if they make high quality gifs – very likely that they’ll have some hq torrented shows or movies) or look around on several download or logoless twitters, like downloadinhd, logolessdesires or logolesspro. these accounts do often compress the files, so the quality might be a bit lower than it should be, but it’s definitely better than nothing! 

both mega and google drive folders work basically the same way: select the file you need and find a download button somewhere. after this, it’s basically the same steps as the last part – find the video in the download part next to the search bar and save to photos.

TIP: if mega stops you from downloading because you’ve exceeded the download limit, you can use a vpn to mask your IP address! some free ones are windscribe, justvpn and urbanvpn, but if you have some money to spare, there’s excellent paid ones like expressvpn, surfshark or freedome.

2. TRIMMING AND CROPPING VIDEOS

we’ve found all the episodes or videos we want to gif! cool, now it’s time to find all individual scenes so that we can start editing. to trim and crop the videos, you don’t need a new app, this can just be done in the normal photos app! 

if you already have an exact scene in mind, you can just go to that timestamp immediately, but if you’re still not sure, just scroll through the video to find some good ones. to trim the video down to the scene that you want, use the edit function and move the arrows at both sides of the video to the exact start and end point of your scene. if you want to be more accurate, press and hold the arrows to lower the timespan that they are editing at that moment. 

after you’ve trimmed the scene you want, go to the cropping setting and choose a predetermined ratio to crop the video in – this way, all the gifs you crop will be the same size. i usually use 9:16, 4:5 or 3:4, but anything works!

3. EDITING (COLOURING/OVERLAY) editing!

now we’ve done the boring stuff, we can start having fun !! we’re gonna start colouring the video now and optionally adding an overlay, which we’re going to do with the app “inshot”, which you can download just from the app store! this app has a pro-version which unlocks some of the editing options and removes ads but it works just fine without – i would only consider buying it to remove the ads but just putting your device in airplane mode fixes that as well, so it’s not really worth it imo! this app does both editing and overlays, so i’ll be explaining how both of those work. 

first, start by pressing “create new video” and choosing the clip you just trimmed and cropped.

3.1. editing and colouring the video

all actions to edit the video can be found at the bottom. first, start with slowing down the video to about 80-60% of the original speed, it looks much smoother and nicer in a gifset! 

after this, you can start colouring, by going to filter > adjust at the bottom. this gives you a new set of actions to use. 

first, put up the sharpness to about 20-30, depending on what looks best. don’t go much higher than this though, it won’t look great lmao.

then play around with the brightness, contrast and saturation. you can do a lot with these already: to make a black and white gif, for example, turn down the saturation completely and up the brightness and contrast a bit, it’ll look great already! if you’re not satisfied yet, though, don’t worry, all will be fixed in the next step.

we’re getting to curves now! they are the best thing in this app and pretty good for a photoshop replacement as far as i know. for this part, i can’t really tell you how to do it, you’ve just gotta play around with it for a while and get a feel for it! it takes some time, but practice definitely pays off.

3.2. adding an overlay

to add another video to the video you’re editing, press the “PIP” (picture in picture) action in the main menu. choose the video you want to insert and also slow this down to about 80-60% of the original speed. try to make sure both videos are about the same length, so you won’t have to trim it down again after you’re done. 

after this, size the video and move it to where you want it, then use the “mask” function to make sure only the part of the video that you want to see is shown. dragging the little symbol at the edge (shown below) lets you “blend” the edge of the video so it’s less of a line, more of a gradual transition

optional: you can also use the blend function on the PIP video to make it blend with the base vid! it doesn’t always look nice but there’s loads of different options to work with.

once you’ve positioned, masked and blended the video how you like it, you can edit it in the same way as the base video! once again, choose filter > adjust and follow the same steps used for the other video.

once you’re satisfied with the entire video, press the “send” icon at the top right, make sure the resolution is set to 1080p, and save! now you’re done colouring, it’s time for the next part (which is optional but very fun): adding text to your video.

4. ADDING TEXT

this is my favourite part! for adding text to your gifs, download the vont app from the app store. once again, this app has a pro version, but unless you really need to add more than 4 textboxes per gif, the free version works fine! the ad problem can again be fixed by just putting your device in airplane mode, and even the four textboxes per gif problem can be worked around by clever placements and multiple sentences in one box. now, let’s start!

open the app and press the video icon at the bottom, then choose “load new video” and select the video you edited in the previous step

press anywhere on the video; a pop-up saying “add text” will appear. press this and type the text you want in the textbox that pops up

choose the font you want in the “font” menu - there are not going to be any fonts in the “my fonts” section when you start, these can be downloaded from various font packs readily available on tumblr (i recommend checking @fontarchive out for something to start with! if you would like more, feel free to hmu, i am sure i have some links laying around)

to download a font, get a dropbox link or any other link, press a download button somewhere on the page and it will be saved to the “files” app

to add the font to the vont app, find the font in your downloads, open the file, press the send icon at the top and then choose “open with vont”

the app will give you a button saying “add to vont”, press this button and you’re done!

change the size of the text with the “size” button, then slide it around or use the “move” option to position it to where you want it (tip: use “layout” to get a text to be positioned exactly in the middle)

you can tilt the text as well, and curve it to form a circle if you want (make sure to swipe the actions menu, the curve option will show up!)

use the “style” option to change the colour, drop shadow, stroke, background, spacing and blending option of the text (another tip: always add a drop shadow to the text! it makes it so much easier to read, and if you change its colour, it can be part of the colouring of the set as well)

when you’re done, press the send icon in the bottom right corner. first, press “save project” – this will save your progress in the app itself, so that if you notice something wrong after you’ve saved the video, you can always go back to change it. after that, press save video, and the video with text will be saved to the photos app!

5. CONVERTING TO GIF

now we’re done with the fun parts sadly, here comes the tedious part lmao: converting videos to gifs! this is one of the last parts, we’re almost there :)

open the website https://ezgif.com/ and go to the “video to GIF” tab in the header

upload your gif in the “Select video from your computer” box (then press “upload video”)

under the video, there is a drop-down menu to choose the size. now this depends on what size your gif is going to be in the gifset, but if you want only one gif per row, choose the 540xAUTO option (this also has “for tumblr” behind it, so it’s easy to find slfjdslk) if you are going for more gifs per row, just leave the setting as is, we will fix this next

under that is the frame rate option. i usually switch between 12 and 20 FPS, depending on the size of my gif in the end (it has to be under 10Mb for tumblr to upload it to a post)

if you’ve done this, press convert to GIF and longpress the converted gif to save to your photos app!

6. RESIZING (optional)

we’re almost done, just hang in there!! now we’re going to resize the gif if needed. this is because if you want to put multiple gifs in one row, they need to be a certain size, otherwise tumblr will compress the gifs and they will show up in a much lower quality. this post shows exactly what the dimensions should be per amount of gifs per row!

to resize the gifs, you can stay on ezgif, but this time choose the tab at the top that says “resize”

upload the gif in the “upload image from your computer” box

fill in only the width dimension (the height one is not needed!) and press “resize image”

once again longpress the resized gif to save it to your gallery

7. POSTING 

the final part! this part i also love, especially because i love editing the caption hehe, though deciding what to tag the post is not my favourite part lmao. for this part, a tumblr app is not recommended, as it does not have the different post types needed for a gifset, so we’re doing it on the website!

go to the tumblr website and log in

press the new post button and choose “photo”

upload your gifs to the post

if you have a laptop available, save the post as a draft on your apple device, and edit the caption and tags further on that laptop (it works much better!)

if you don’t, editing on mobile works fine as well, but it won’t let you add html captions (so the nice colourful gradients some people have, etc) but it’s obviously not required to do that, so this works fine as well!

tagging the post can be quite tricky, my go-to strategy is tag all the characters, ships and fandoms first, and then tag all sourceblogs that apply (some general ones are bbelcher, chewbacca etc. but there’s tons of sourceblogs for almost every fandom out there if you know how to look for them!) and lastly, tag some friends who will definitely like the post, so that they will surely see it :) it’s also smart to use a tag for your creations like mine, mygifs, *mine etc. so that you can easily find them all back!

when you’re completely satisfied with your caption and tags, press post, and.. you’re done!

i really hope i’m able to help people with this ! i spent a lot of time on this so even if you won’t use it, i would very much appreciate a signal boost <3 if anyone has any questions feel free to send me an ask or a dm, i’d be happy to answer all your questions! 

lots of love and happy giffing, sas <3

[romancingromanoff]

A Little Bit of Guidance (Alcina Dimitrescu x femme!reader) pt. 1

A less than pleasant shopping experience leads to gay panic and perhaps something more.

Part 2

Author’s Note: I’M BACK BITCHES AND I’M A BIGGER SIMP THAN EVER! I also have lots of new ideas for Marvel content that I can’t wait to share with y’all. Anyway, I don’t know if any of my followers are Resident Evil fans but who doesn’t want to fantasize about a 9′6″ tall vampire mommy?

Two hours. You’d told your best friend that you would begrudgingly let her drag you along to shop for new professional attire for two hours. But now it was six hours later and you were beginning to realize that your plans for an early evening spent decompressing back at your apartment with some takeout had been completely ruined as soon as you’d said “Fine, but only two hours.”

“We wouldn’t still be out here hunting if you would just buy something for once,” she feigned exhaustion as she handed you yet another overpriced blazer which you were too afraid to check the price of. “I mean this is for your job, you have to buy something!”

“Yes, Maia,” you tried your best to sound as patient as possible. The two of you had been best friends since elementary school when you were both the only two Asian students in your class. Even back then she’d been very skilled at getting you to go along with her ideas. “My new job as a middle school guidance counselor, for which I am being severely underpaid. Now if we could just stick to the clearance section-“

“No!!! This one, AH, it would look perfect on you!” Another blouse hit your face with the tag nearly stabbing you in the eye. Prying it off soon got a look at the price.

“Holy SHIT, Maia, this costs like half of my paycheck. Which I don’t even have yet!”

“Fine!” She half groaned as she flung all the clothes in her arms up in dramatic fashion. “You win. We’ll go look at last season’s leftovers.”

“Oh my God, Maia, before you storm off at least help pick all of this up. I don’t want the employees here to hate us.” As much as you loved your best friend and her theatrical personality you had also worked retail before and knew exactly how difficult it was dealing with customers like her.

“Okay,” she slowly turned around before helping you grab two pairs of pants off the floor. When the last few items were hung back up she met your eyes with a timid half-smile and a look of bargaining on her face. “I’ll cool down if you promise to try on at least three outfits that I pick out for you, please (Y/N)?”

You figured that this was going to be the best possible deal you could get until you stopped yourself and thought of something sweeter. “Alright, it’s a deal IF you buy me churro too.”

“Ugh, fine.”

-~-

Surprisingly, there were a couple of solid staple pieces for your wardrobe that were hiding back in the clearance racks that Maia was ecstatic you showed interest in. Walking your bags back to your car and lazily munching on your churro, you could practically feel your exhaustion weighing your body down and you began to zone out from Maia’s story about some members from her running club as you instinctively headed for the driver’s seat.

“Wait, stop,” Maia turned to you with the most confused look on her face just as you were reaching for the door. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh thank God,” you practically burst into tears. “Are you offering to drive? Because there’s no way that I’m going to be able to get us home without passing out at the wheel.”

“Um, first, it’s only half past 8. I know we’re not in college anymore but this is actually really sad. Second, you only tried on two outfits. I still get to pick out one more!”

“Are you serious?” You asked her but really you already knew she was… Completely. “What other stores are there that you could possibly drag me to?”

“Dimitrescu is two blocks from here.” Just the sound of that name made you almost regurgitate your churro on the spot.

“Maia, neither of us can even afford to walk in there! Hell, their stuff is so expensive they even lock it up when it gets donated to the thrift store. Remember you cried that one time you found one of her vintage dresses at a second-hand shop but it still cost more than your rent?”

“I’m not expecting you to get anything! I’d actually be really pissed if you did and had something from my favorite designer before me. But it doesn’t cost anything to try stuff on!

“It does if we break something.”

“Y/N, I will drive you home and buy you a whole bucket of churros if you just let me do this. It won’t take more than ten minutes I swear.”

Apparently, exhaustion made it really difficult for you to stay assertive because the next thing you knew you were standing outside the most luxurious store you had ever encountered. Dimitrescu looked more like a bank or a museum than a shop with its near blinding lights and crisp marble floors safely guarded behind two very tall men dressed in extravagant black suits that silently opened the doors for you.

“This is incredible!” Maia practically squealed at the sight of all of the perfectly styled pieces of clothing which complemented the minimalist yet elegant gold-accented furniture that looked like it had never been touched. The only thing you could do was silently nod in complete agreement as your eyes caught the image of the most intricate crystal chandelier you had ever seen. It really was like walking into the world of the upper class and a short memory of the last time you had seen your ex-girlfriend interrupted your moment of bliss. She was a lawyer and her law firm had rented out an entire art gallery uptown for some fancy celebration which she had invited you to. At the time you assumed that meant she was serious about you and your relationship might be taking a turn for the better. But by the end of that evening…

Thankfully (or not so thankfully), your flashback was short-lived as one of the workers of the store interrupted your thoughts. “Is there any particular reason you’re here?” A somewhat abrasive voice stopped you and your best friend in your tracks.

“We’re just looking,” Maia innocently responded, thinking nothing of the situation. But you were immediately aware of how defensive the clerk seemed to be as she stood there with her arms crossed and eyes clearly judging the two of you up and down.

“I don’t think this is the type of store you’d be interested in,” she gave you a fake smile and slowly began walking out from behind the counter. When her entire outfit, a sleek white dress suit with matching designer Christian Louboutins, came into view, you suddenly became acutely aware of your appearance. Sure, you weren’t wearing the latest designs from fashion week or anything that really fit the vibe of the store but dressing comfortably to go shopping wasn’t that unheard of. And Maia was never not put together! Maybe neither of you had the budget for this type of place but you would bet that your best friend could dress just as well at a more affordable price.

“Hey, we just came in to look around for a few minutes,” you don’t really care if you sound irritable or tired now. Conflict resolution is definitely something you usually excel in but right now this worker was obviously trying to be rude. Letting her push the both of you around wasn’t in your nature either. “We’ll be off your back soon so you won’t have to do your job for long.”

“That’s my concern. See, we don’t really like people coming in from off the street with no intention of buying anything. It’s just to protect the merchandise.”

Okay. That was definitely meant to offend you.

“Are you implying that we might try to steal something?” You practically scoff after what you hear.

“Um, Y/N?” You feel Maia tug gently on your sleeve and assume she’s trying to drag you away from the situation, but you’re not running this time. Too many times in the past you’d been the one to let people walk all over you just for the sake of appeasement.

“Steal? No, we have security. I just think you and your friend might be able to find something more your speed back in Chinatown.”

Final. Fucking. Straw.

“Are you kidding me?!”

“Y/N-“ Maia pulls on your sleeve harder.

“Excuse me,” a deep, melodic voice that you suspected would usually sound more comforting if its owner wasn’t so blatantly irritated suddenly fills the room.. “What is going on here?”

Somehow, and you had no clue why except that maybe the universe was looking to punish you, you found your dumb self in the presence of the most ethereal and intimidating being you had ever seen. And it was no other than the world-famous designer herself. Alcina Dimitrescu.

-~-

For a luxury designer with her own label, there was surprisingly little information on Alcina Dimitrescu known to the public. A quick google search could tell you that she immigrated from Romania two decades ago to study fashion and design in college on some prestigious scholarship from the Miranda Foundation. Her alma mater proudly stated that she had graduated at the top of her class and was a consistent donor to their design program, but as far as any specific classes or clubs she might have participated in during her time there, nothing was to be found on their website. Even her own brand’s website, Dimitrescu, had very little about her personal involvement with the brand and merely stated that she was the founder and CEO. There was also a very brief section that described her original inspiration for her first pieces coming from old Romanian folklore but that was as specific as it got. A few photos from various fashion weeks and other high-scale events would also pop up if you looked up her name but they usually showed her in a group setting or being caught unaware by paparazzi. She was noticeably never smiling in any of them.

Of course, there was gossip that naturally spread across the fashion world but Maia would’ve been much more familiar with those rumors than you ever cared to be. Studying to be a guidance counselor had definitely taught you to form your own opinions on people and take your information straight from the horse’s mouth. Columnists and other media influencers loved to highlight the fact that she was apparently very tall and a few others occasionally framed her as being a stuck-up diva type. But hanging around Maia for most of your life you had soon learned that Miss Dimitrescu had a highly capable public relations and legal team that could pull stories like that straight off the record. There was, however, one specific topic about the lady which you secretly loved to listen to your best friend talk about. While she had never been confirmed to ever have a partner, there was a substantial amount of talk which claimed she definitely preferred to keep women in her company if only for short periods at a time. Alcina Dimitrescu was notoriously known for living behind a closet made of glass and an endless line of women waiting at the door.

Staring back at her at that moment, you definitely couldn’t deny that you wished those rumors concerning her sexuality were true. Everything about her was nothing short of captivating and you could feel your breath hitch in your throat as you desperately tried to take in each and every single detail. Her dark hair was perfectly styled into short intricate curls that perfectly framed the most bright pair of golden eyes you had ever had the pleasure of being enchanted by. Her skin, while quite pale, had a healthy glow to it that accentuated her near flawless face. The only features that really stood out were her distinct smile lines and a few creases around her eyes, though you found them to be mesmerizing in their own right. Perfectly painted deep red lips that made you start to feel weak in the knees tempted you to follow her lower down her slender yet powerful neck. And even further below laid the fullness of her…

When Maia’s elbow pokes into your side it interrupts you from your daze and you quickly become aware of how creepy you must look just ogling the woman in front of you. It wasn’t just embarrassing to be caught blatantly staring but on top of that you’d nearly forgotten about the situation you were supposed to be dealing with. You try to jerk your head to find the pompous worker who had made the racist comment but you’re immediately met with a sharp pain running through your neck from the motion. It was almost as if your body was physically punishing itself for gaping so freely at the Lady and losing track of what was important.

“Lady Dimitrescu, I didn’t realize you were still here!” The worker goes completely pale and you realize that she’s just as surprised as you are. For a moment you begin to question how a person so tall was able to sneak up on the three of you with only Maia noticing but you drop it fairly quickly. “These guests were just leaving.”

“How dim-witted do you think me to be?” The lady’s voice roared with an innate tone of authority and you were grateful it wasn’t being directed at you. “I don’t know which is more insulting. Is it your racism and disgusting behavior? Or perhaps it’s the fact that you assumed you’d get away with it?”

“My lady I-“ It was like watching a wounded animal beg for its life at the feet of a starving lion. The words were practically meaningless. Her fate was already sealed and she was just awaiting digestion.

“You will no longer be working for this company or any other respectable designer for that matter. I shall see to it myself that you never do. The only reason why I haven’t thrown you out of this establishment yet is because you WILL apologize to the two customers you have treated so horrifically before grabbing your things and running home with your tail between your legs like the creature you are.”

“Please,” you could hear her choking on her own tears. “If you would just let me explain-“

“NOW!”

“I’m so sorry,” she squeaks at a level that’s barely audible and you have a split second to see the exact look of fear she has in her swelling eyes. It leaves you feeling somewhat conflicted. A part of you is relieved that she’s actually being held accountable for her actions but you also doubt that she actually feels remorse. The sad excuse of an apology she gave was most likely just said so she wouldn’t further upset her now former employer. It contained no real substance to it and you were certain that her bitter feelings towards you were now only going to get worse. Still, it was a better outcome than others you had experienced in the past.

When Lady Dimitrescu finally turns to you she can see the absolute mess of emotions that you’re juggling. “Please, you shouldn’t feel bad for her-“

“I don’t,” you interrupt her quickly, not wanting to give off the impression that you’re upset by the lady’s decision. “She was completely over the line. I’m just glad that you actually did something about it. Most people don’t care enough to intervene in these types of situations. My friend and I are pretty used to just dealing with those types of people on our own.”

The frown she wears on her face is almost heartbreaking but it shows you how genuine her sympathy is. “I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for how awfully she treated the two of you. She was simply grotesque. Along with a formal apology from myself I insist that you and your friend both take home the entire Fall collection or any other number of items from my store that you might prefer otherwise.”

“You’re joking, right?!” You’ve never seen Maia this dumbfounded before while sober. She looks like she would combust on the spot if she were physically capable of doing so and you feel a small smile creep back to your face. Now that your best friend had gotten a chance to speak you knew the levee walls were no match for the flood of words she was about to unleash. “I’m just, oh my God, wow! Thank you so so so much Lady Dimitrescu. And can I just say that your work literally inspires me everyday? I mean I can’t even believe I’m meeting you! Is this really happening? This stuff like never happens to me! Well, actually dealing with bs from people like that woman isn’t too uncommon. I swear white women just have the audacity sometimes. Not that you’re one of those, uh, white women! You seem like one of the good ones. Oh shit, that probably didn’t sound right did it? Anyway, please forgive me for all of that babble and for my friend’s staring. I’m sure she didn’t mean it in a ‘ah, you’re so tall that’s crazy!’ type of way. She probably just meant it in a ‘wow I’m definitely a lesbian’ way. She’ll never admit it but she’s always had a weakness for tall women so-“

“I think what my friend is trying to say is she’s a big fan of your work and is just grateful for your generosity and character that you’ve shown both of us!” The awkward laugh that your body lets out makes you sound like a deflating balloon and it makes you almost regret not throwing your hand over Maia’s talking hole.

Much to your surprise Lady Dimitrescu doesn’t look all that phased by your comments and continues to express a polite smile. You think you might also see a bit of amusement in her eyes but then the second you realize you’re staring at her again you freak out and try to shake yourself out of her hold.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” Goddamnit her voice is way too soothing. “I’m extremely mortified by what’s happened here today so it is the very least I can do. Amira, would you please help these women look around the store and find them their correct sizes?” Another worker that you assume is Amira immediately appears at the call of her name.

“Oh my God I’ve never been sized for Dimitrescu clothes before! I’m usually a size 8 or 10 depending on the brand but I’m not sure what I’d be here.” Maia practically rushes off with Amira before she can even process what was happening, poor her, which just left…..

“You two seem very different. But I’m assuming you’ve known each other for quite some time?” You practically curse to yourself at the mere sound of her voice. She’s being perfectly polite aside from that hint of playfulness that rings in your ear. It gives away her slight sense of amusement.

“Yes and yes,” you try to look at her like a normal person but can already feel your face heating up. “We grew up together but Maia’s always been a lot more familiar with all of this,” you generally gesture to your surroundings hoping that she’ll get your point. The perfectly displayed designer handbags and matching shoes that gave you blisters just looking at them were undeniably beautiful but they just weren’t you. And it wasn’t that you were ungrateful for Lady Dimitrescu’s offer of a new wardrobe but it was simply too much for you to accept. You just didn’t know if she’d be offended if you told her and you certainly didn’t want that. “I’ve always felt kinda out of my element in these types of places.”

With a quizzical look in her eye she studies you for only a few moments but is still able to read your feelings with an impressive amount of clarity. “That’s quite understandable. I’ve been in this industry for two decades but it can still feel quite isolating at times. Being surrounded by those who are often more concerned with outward appearances and more material items makes it rather difficult to stay true to your own authentic self.”

She wasn’t wrong. And that’s why you had to be honest. “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can accept a new wardrobe from you, it just doesn’t feel right. It’s a very generous offer and everything in your collection is absolutely stunning but it’s just not me. I hope you can understand.”

“Please, don’t worry about it at all. I actually had a feeling that you’d say that. The only thing I must insist on is that you let me take you to dinner in lieu of my original offer.”

“Oh Lady Dimitrescu, I could never-”

“Please,” the way she purposefully reaches for your hand startles you at first. It’s firm yet gentle at the same time, as if she’s been contemplating it for a while now. “I’d be delighted to take you to dinner, truly. At the very least I’m obligated to lend you my ear so that you may express any thoughts or concerns you have about what just transpired. I would love to gain more of your perspective if you wouldn’t mind sharing.”

You’re not sure if it’s the distant sounds of Maia squealing in the background or just the general taxation of today’s events that leave you unable to process things, but the next words that leave your mouth waver in a way that you instantly regret.

“Could I… I’m sorry but could I think it over first?”

“Of course, my dear, no pressure at all,” she gently squeezes your hand before releasing it to reach for something else. A small look of disappointment is evident in her eyes that make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. “Here, please take my personal number and feel free to use it whenever. My offer doesn’t expire and I apologize again for the intolerable treatment you experienced today.”

You want to say something, maybe a ‘thank you’ or at least try to explain that you’re beyond flattered to have been invited to dinner but just suffer from crippling anxiety and still feel completely debilitated from the way she touched you. But instead Maia takes that exact opportunity to make her grand re-entrance accompanied by at least a dozen different dresses hanging from her arms. “Y/N, they have a jumpsuit in the exact shade of blue that’s PERFECT for me. I think you’re gonna have to drive the car around by the time I’m done!”

You look back around, desperate to find the lady and give her a better explanation than the one that just unceremoniously fell out of your mouth, but as mysteriously as she arrived she was also gone.

Author’s Note: Yes, the MC and Maia are both of Asian descent! This was a decision I made very early on when I was starting to come up with ideas for the story. Their race/ethnicity doesn't play a huge role to the plot and may only come up every now and then, but this was something really important to me personally. As someone that's Asian, finding fanfiction with content I can relate to is often difficult when most MCs are portrayed as having "sapphire blue eyes" and "luscious golden locks" or some other combination of features that are typically found in white characters. I also just wanted to write something that reflects my own experiences as an Asian and person of color for once, but I'm hoping that all types of audiences will still be able to relate to this story. 

You can also find me on AO3 as MCULesbian and chapters 1-4 are already up there!

[daggryet]

could you transcribe tommy's doomsday vod? sorry for asking and no pressure of course, but i saw you were open to requests

Hello! Thank you for the request, it is done!

Today is L'Manberg's birthday and its first anniversary. but it's also the day I finished transcribing tommy's doomsday vod - so let's all be sad today :)

Underneath the cut is the entirety of Tommy's Doomsday VOD "Tommy's Dream SMP is Obliterated by Technoblade" (1.14.25).

Conversations may have been cut in half if they make jokes, but I've included every single lore-related line that I could hear (there was a lot of TNT and shouting over each other sorry)

(If anyone has their own requests, feel free to send them in)

Without further ado and I hope it's useful to you:

Tommy's Dream SMP Is Obliterated by Technoblade

00:47

TOMMY: So, there’s things I need to do. How long do we have now? 40 minutes. Oh, there we go. I’ve got something I need to do. I’ve got a couple of solo things that we’d needed to do for a long time. And I want to- ehm, we’ve got to speak to Tubbo because if we’re gonna do this war, morally, we can’t do it alone.

TOMMY messages TUBBO

TOMMY, whispering: vc

TOMMY: I know, they’re coming at 8pm, alright?

TUBBO messages TOMMY

TUBBO, whispering: okay

TOMMY: So what we’ve gotta do- you know what, chat? I fucked up, I did, I did over these past few weeks. I’ve been in exile, it’s been the worst weeks of my entire life, but I don’t wanna think about anything other… we’ve gotta say sorry.

TOMMY messages TUBBO

TOMMY, whispering: meet at our spot

TOMMY: And I know that’s not the most TommyInnit-y thing to do off the bat, but I haven’t been doing the most TommyInnit-y things to do.

TUBBO: I see you.

TOMMY: But I will do now.

TUBBO: Hello?

TOMMY: Hey.

TUBBO: Hey.

TOMMY: Hey, ehm, you wanna sit down on the eh-

TUBBO: I would quite like to sit down on the bench.

TOMMY: It’s been- you’re well dressed.

TUBBO: Thank you, you’re looking good yourself.

TOMMY: Eh, it’s been eh- listen. Listen - oh you’ve taken it off - I know it’s been a, mhm, I know it’s been quite some time… I’m sorry. I know, I know the exile- I know you had to exile me, like I’m sorry-

TUBBO: I’m sorry also. We could have tried other routes, it was a bit of an extreme turn.

TOMMY: I just don’t want everything that happens now to be built on - stay here - to be built on the past. You know, I don’t…

TUBBO: Yeah

TOMMY: Tubbo, I- I fucked it. I did. And there’s no- we all make mistakes, but it was me. I-I was the one who chose to side with the violent anarchist who wanted to destroy the thing I would sacrifice my discs for, and I, you know, put our shit behind that.

TUBBO: It’s okay though.

TOMMY: And I’m sorry. But-

TUBBO: Aw.

TOMMY: I’m sorry. I haven’t been… I haven’t been myself, but, ehm, we will tonight, alright? ‘Cause we’ve got shit to do, my friend.

TUBBO: Ehm, well, I mean, we have to rally everyone, don’t we? We have to go to what- where did we decide to set everything up? Over at Eret’s place? Get supplies.

TUBBO: We do!

TOMMY: Get supplies.

TOMMY: Get supplies.

TUBBO: I have no idea when they’re gonna get here, but-

TOMMY: There’s something I gotta do first. I mean, people don’t- I gotta, I gotta do it.

TUBBO: Okay…

TOMMY: I-I… okay. You go to the people and start rallying, I’ll join you, I’ll, you know, take lead once I’m there.

TUBBO: Okay, I’ll gotta get everything sorted.

TOMMY: We’ve gotta be- it’s gotta be me and you, Tubbo, it’s gotta be me and you versus Dream.

TOMMY: We’ve gotta leave everything we’ve done over the past weeks to the past, alright?

TUBBO: Yeah, of course.

TOMMY: Just like it always has been. And we’ve gotta do that tonight, because if we don’t tonight… I mean, you’ve heard what they’re saying. We’ll lose everything.

TUBBO: Yeah…

TOMMY: We’ll lose everything.

TUBBO: I mean, I don’t even know what would happen if L’Manberg were to get destroyed.

TOMMY: Okay, here’s what you do: you go rally them. I have something I have to do-

TUBBO: Okay.

TOMMY: And no one really knows what I have to do, but you rally them.

TUBBO: I will rally, I will rally!

TOMMY: I’ll speak to you, eh-

TOMMY: You start a plan, and then I’ll come and help, alright?

TUBBO: Speak to you soon.

TOMMY: Speak to you soon.

5:30

TOMMY: Okay, everybody. That was the right thing to do.

TOMMY does a waterbucket MLG.

TOMMY: We’ve still got it.

TOMMY: There’s something I need to do, that I didn’t really speak to you all about. We’ve got quite a while now to go. Now, listen to me, chat- Quackity’s leaving, Fundy’s leaving, what are you on about? No, no, no! We focus now, alright? There’s too many words shouted at me, shit in my head, streaks that I’ve lost, but we’ve got to- there is not enough time to read everyone’s- Fundy’s, what, what? Alright, I’m not reading the chat now. Here’s what I’ve got to do. Okay, okay, you know, we’ll walk.

TOMMY: Does anyone remember, eh, last night? I know I messed up, but there was one thing that really stuck. ‘Cause you know Sssa- you know, Sapnap, ‘cause I was watching this old video in my recommended about how all of these wars started, alright? And all of it started with me and Sapnap. And you know, you know, yesterday I realised - we need him on our side, man. ‘Cause it started with him and me, me and him. And a while age, a few months ago now, pre-exile, we had a fight. And it ended with me- I don’t know if anyone remembers, but it ended with me letting go of his pet fish, Beckerson. But I’ve been thinking about it, we can’t afford- we can’t afford to not have Sapnap. ‘Cause it started with us, and you know what? It’s gonna end with us. So we’ve gotta- and it can’t end with him betraying me again, so we’ve got to get him on our side. And I let his fish loose a longass time ago.

TOMMY: I’m not sure if it’s- is that it? Do you think it’ll be here still? What type of fish was it? “Mars”, Mars, Beckerson, Mars- I don’t, it doesn’t mean anything to me.

8:32

TOMMY: Is it around here? Guys, what type of fish was it? Is it- I mean, it might just not be here.

9:09

TOMMY: If it is still here, that’d be a miracle, but… everyone, if we can do this now, then- tropical? That means nothing to me. Oh is that- what the fuck!

TOMMY finds MARS swimming by the shore.

TOMMY: Oh, wow, wow, wow, holy shit, holy shit! Okay, go, go, go, go, go! Oh my- okay, wow, wow, wow, we found it, we found it- what the fuck! Did it not despawn? Okay, you know what, no, no, no. What the fuck? Okay, we can’t MLG with that waterbucket anymore. How?! Does it not despawn? Okay, where is Sapnap? What we’ve gotta do is we find Sapnap and get him on our side ‘cause it started with us; we’re ending with us!

TOMMY messages SAPNAP

TOMMY, whispering: Hey

TOMMY, whispering: vc?

TOMMY: Hey Sapnap

SAPNAP messages TOMMY

SAPNAP: Hey

TOMMY: No, wait, this is too serious of an occasion, I can’t play the Able Sisters. Where are you, Sapnap?

SAPNAP: Eh, at the community house you blew up.

TOMMY: Oh. Forgot about that

SAPNAP: Yeah

TOMMY: I’m-

TOMMY: Hey, hey, I’m really- I didn’t blow it up, sorry, people just- you know what, I’ll just be like a trooper. I won’t keep saying I didn’t blow it up, I’ll just- listen to me.

SAPNAP: Hello

TOMMY: I know, ehm, I know you said you didn’t wanna team with us last night, Sapnap.

SAPNAP: Well, I’m just- I don’t know, I just don’t know who to help or if I should help anyone.

TOMMY: Listen, I know, I know, but I- what I want you to know, Sapnap, is that I know we’ve had quarrels. But there was this video in my recommended the other day, and it was detailing the entirety of the very first war on this server. And I realised all of it, all of it, started with me and you. And I know you killed Henry, and I know we had wars, and you fucked up so many times - but so did I. And here’s the thing, man, it doesn’t matter about the past, and it doesn’t matter about the future; it matters about right now. And right now, there is a plethora of supervillains literally going to destroy everything we’ve worked for. And I know, I know you have no reason to come back, but I know it started with us. And it started with us because I helped you, Sapnap. And I don’t stop, because I know I’ve fucked up, but I won’t stop, alright? And you don’t have to side with us, but, Sapnap, do you remember a while ago we had a little war, a little fight?

SAPNAP: I do remember.

TOMMY: Sapnap.

TOMMY: And it ended with you throwing away- what was it?

SAPNAP: Yeah?

TOMMY: I’m so sorry that you did that, and that I made you do that because it wasn’t right of me. And I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t take out any of the fucked up shit that’s happened to me out on other people, and I’m sorry.

SAPNAP: Alright.

TOMMY: But Sapnap- I got Mars back. And yeah, it’s the same Mars from where I- turns out they don’t despawn if they have a nametag on them!

SAPNAP: It’s Mars!

TOMMY: Turns out they don’t despawn if they have a nametag on them! I didn’t know that! But, but, Sapnap, please help us, please. Because it started with me and you, and it doesn’t have to end with me and you. And if we don’t do anything right now; tonight will be the end of L’Manberg. So, please, help us. We need you.

SAPNAP: Alright, Tommy, let’s do this.

TOMMY: Really?

SAPNAP: Yeah, let’s eh- let’s just kill them all! What, it’s just two people, right?

TOMMY: It’s just two people, right!

SAPNAP: It’s just two people, we can kill them!

TOMMY: They’ll be here in 30 minutes. Okay.

SAPNAP: We can kill them.

TOMMY: Okay, let’s go get basic stuff. Let’s- let me get on my armour now, it’s war time. Let’s get in a call.

SAPNAP: I’m putting Mars somewhere safe, I’m putting Mars somewhere safe.

13:45

TOMMY: Hello?

JACK MANIFOLD: Hello

PONK: Hello

TOMMY: Hello, where’s Tubbo?

JACK MANIFOLD: He went to speak to-to-to Big Q.

TOMMY: Okay, I’ll go speak to him. Hey everyone, hope you’re all well-

JACK MANIFOLD: Actually, I’m-

TECHNOBLADE: Hey idiots! Where you at? I’m in your house, stealing your stuff!

TOMMY: I know where his house is.

TOMMY: What?

TECHNOBLADE: I’m outside L’Manberg, boys, where you at!

TOMMY: There’s 25 more minutes, no you’re not!

TECHNOBLADE: Bro, you think I’m going to wait? You think I’m going to sit- you know what, Tommy? You know what, there is 24 minutes, I’m not there right now, I’m not - there’s no need to check. There’s no need to go to your base.

TOMMY: What the fuck-?

TECHNOBLADE: There’s 24 minutes left.

TOMMY: That’s a very strange and ominous thing to say.

TECHNOBLADE: You know what, you guys take your time, take your time.

TOMMY: What the fuck is this obsidian grid?

TECHNOBLADE: Take your time

TOMMY: Technoblade, wait, no, stop it now. Where are you?

TECHNOBLADE: I’m in L’Manberg.

PHILZA: Where do you think?

TOMMY: Philza Minecraft. You’re not-

TECHNOBLADE: That was also his laugh right there, isn’t it great?

TECHNOBLADE: Uh, that was my Philza Minecraft impression, isn’t it great?

TOMMY shoots a spectral arrow at an invisible person wearing netherite armour.

TOMMY: Is that you?

PHILZA: That’s me, that’s me.

TECHNOBLADE: Phil! You are the least stealthy person on this planet!

TOMMY: What the fuck? Wow, wow, wow, wow, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no! Time out! We have 30 more minutes, we have 30 more minutes until you got here!

TECHNOBLADE: You got nothing, Tommy!

TOMMY: What do you mean we’ve got- wait, where’s Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: You have nothing! Where is your army?

TOMMY: Where is my- you- what the fuck!

TECHNOBLADE: My army is right here!

TOMMY: You said 30 minutes, you said you’d be here in 30 minutes!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh no! Did we lie? Oh no!

TOMMY: What the fuck?

PHILZA: You think we’re gonna be fair? You think we’re gonna be fair? This is war, Tommy.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh no, I wasn’t honourable about the 1v30 that’s gonna happen, I’m sorry.

TOMMY: Where’s Tubbo?

TOMMY: Eret, Eret, do you have a waterbucket? Can I borrow that, please? Why is it just me and you-?

TOMMY messages TUBBO

TOMMY, messaging: TUBBO

Tommy, messaging: GET FUCKING HERE

TECHNOBLADE: There’s two guys here.

TECHNOBLADE: Is this your army? Man, I overprepared for this.

ERET: Where is everyone else?

TUBBO: Tommy, what’s wrong?

TOMMY: Tubbo, you stupid son of a bitch, get to L’Manberg!

TUBBO: The prepares are all like gone, they were sabotaged.

TUBBO: What, what, what, what?

TOMMY: What do you mean ‘sabotaged’? What does that mean?

TUBBO: There was literally nothing there, Tommy! There was just a crater.

TOMMY: Oh. Dream?

TUBBO: Tommy, what are you doing?

TOMMY falls to his death to escape possibly DREAM’s TNT.

JACK MANIFOLD: That was a really uneventful war

TOMMY: Don’t worry, I’m running back, I’m running back.

ERET: There’s so many dogs!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, I’m stupid, I have a flint and steel.

ERET: Tommy, I got some of your stuff.

TOMMY: Eret, can you just take all my stuff?

TOMMY: Yeah, just keep it there.

TECHNOBLADE: I can’t see anything, there’s too many dogs!

PHILZA: Get out of the way!

TECHNOBLADE: I can’t burn any of the stuff. This sucks!

ERET: Why is there so many dogs?

TECHNOBLADE: Why do you think?

QUACKITY: What the hell is going on? What is this?

TOMMY: Guys, I took a tumble.

QUACKITY: What are you doing? This isn’t a goddamn zoo, Technoblade!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, you messed up, you messed up!

QUACKITY: Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.

ERET: Tommy, where are you?

TOMMY: I’m just running, I gotta set my spawn.

TECHNOBLADE: You messed up!

TUBBO: Oh my god, oh my god, what the hell

TOMMY: Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: You messed up, Tubbo! Let loose the dogs of war!

TOMMY: What does that mean?!

ERET: There’s too many dogs!

TOMMY: Tubbo, fight him!

TUBBO: I am!

QUACKITY: Oh Jesus, fuck, why?

QUACKITY: What the hell! What are you doing?

TECHNOBLADE: Get out of here! Get out of here, Ponk!

TOMMY: Tubbo, stay alive!

TUBBO: I’m doing fine!

TOMMY: Eret, Eret, meet me on the bridge there. Meet me on the way.

TECHNOBLADE: You idiot!

QUACKITY: What the hell are you doing?

TECHNOBLADE: Sapnap really thought he was slick. He was like ‘Oh I’m about to jump Technoblade and nothing bad is going to happen’.

QUACKITY: You realise we’re gonna kill all these dogs as soon as you go, right, Techno?

TOMMY: Eret, Eret, I’m on the path there.

TECHNOBLADE: I’ve already killed three of you guys!

ERET: I’m in the tunnel

TECHNOBLADE: Oh yeah, hit me with that axe, Punz! Hit me with that axe!

TOMMY messages Eret

TOMMY, whispering: IM HERE

PUNZ: I’m running, I’m running. I don’t wanna die!

TECHNOBLADE: Wait, did I actually get back my trident?

TOMMY messages Eret

TOMMY, whispering: AT CHESS

QUACKITY: What are you doing?

PUFFY: Why are there so many?

SAPNAP: Why is there so many dogs?

TOMMY messages Eret

TOMMY, whispering: STUFF PLS

TOMMY, whispering: STUFF PLS

TOMMY, whispering: STUFF PLS

TECHNOBLADE: Dogs!

QUACKITY: This has gotta be illegal in some countries!

TECHNOBLADE: I just killed like 50 of my dogs by accident!

PUFFY: That is definitely illegal

TECHNOBLADE: Not the sweeping edge!

QUACKITY: There’s no way this is all legal

TECHNOBLADE: Get ‘em dogs! Get ‘em!

ERET is giving TOMMY his stuff back.

SAPNAP: Holy crap!

TOMMY: Oh no.

JACK MANIFOLD: Technoblade, people won’t be happy about this.

TECHNOBLADE: You guys aren’t allowed to kill these dogs, no killing pets! No killing pets in L’Manberg!

TOMMY: You got any blocks, any blocks?

ERET: Yeah, there you go.

TOMMY: You got a shield and water bucket, please?

SAPNAP: Punz, Punz, Punz, focus on the dogs.

PUNZ: No, kill Techno, kill Techno.

ERET: Eh, no, I don’t have a spare bucket. That’s all I have

TOMMY: Okay.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, welcome back!

PONK: No!

TECHNOBLADE: This is actually not great.

SAPNAP: Alright.

PHILZA: *Laughing*

TOMMY: Alright, regroup, regroup. Where is everyone? Where is everyone?

PUFFY: In L’Manberg!

JACK MANIFOLD: Yeah, we’re all- we’re all in L’Manberg.

TOMMY: Holy- okay, okay! On the top of here, on the top of here-

TECHNOBLADE: Whatever you’re doing!

TOMMY:- Do you have a shield, goddamnit? Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh yeah, a shield is gonna protect you from the wolves!

TOMMY: Do you have a shield?! Ranboo! Why are you standing still?

JACK MANIFOLD: Stop killing those animals, Sapnap.

RANBOO: What’s going on?

TOMMY: Can I have a shield, please?!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh god, I didn’t think about Sapnap!

RANBOO: What’s going on?

TECHNOBLADE: No one kills animals like Sapnap!

TOMMY: Tubbo, where are you?

TECHNOBLADE: That’s his whole thing!

QUACKITY: That’s true!

TECHNOBLADE: Get out of here, Jack Manifold! Dogs, attack!

SAPNAP: I’m killing so many dogs!

JACK MANIFOLD: Oh!

SAPNAP: Jack!

RANBOO: It wasn’t supposed to start yet.

TECHNOBLADE: Dogs, attack! Everyone’s just cutting down my dogs! What is this?

ERET: Oh my god!

TOMMY: Everyone, focus! Where’s Tubbo?

TUBBO: I’m here!

TOMMY: Why are you so quiet? There’s a traitor in our goddamn midst!

TUBBO: What do you mean?

TOMMY: What do you mean? There’s Technoblade!

QUACKITY: There’s a shitton of dogs in fucking L’Manberg!

TUBBO: Yeah, there’s-

QUACKITY: Oh! What the hell?!

PHILZA: Yeah, don’t worry about it.

TECHNOBLADE: Hbomb! Hbomb get over here! Eret!

ERET: Huh?

20:22

TOMMY: Techno. Techno, stop! Where are you?

TECHNOBLADE: You know what? I’m feeling merciful. If you guys all back off and let me blow up this country, you can live!

QUACKITY: You’re gonna rig these dogs with bombs, how exactly are you gonna do that with dogs?

TOMMY: Holy shit, how are there so many?! Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: So many of my dogs have died.

SAPNAP: Alright, they’re almost all dead!

QUACKITY: You literally just said you killed like 50 of your dogs!

TOMMY: Techno.

QUACKITY: What are you doing?

TECHNOBLADE: It was like 20 of my dogs, to be fair.

TOMMY: How many dogs do you have?

QUACKITY: How many did you bring?

PUFFY: Too many!

ERET: Not enough.

SAPNAP: Oh he’s eating a Notch apple, he’s eating a Notch apple!

TOMMY: Techno.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, I’ve got a few of those!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, 17 minutes. Take your time, Ranboo! No need to rush.

TOMMY: Okay, okay. Tubbo, where are you?

21:09

NIKI: Will?

TUBBO: I’m literally right next to you!

TOMMY: Tubbo, Tubbo, I see you! I see you, I see you!

TECHNOBLADE: The signal!

TOMMY: What’s the signal?

SAPNAP: Guys, Technoblade is right here!

JACK MANIFOLD: The signal?

TOMMY: Where?

A wither spawns.

TOMMY: Eret, Eret- holy shit! Okay! Get down, get down!

TECHNOBLADE: Why did I pearl into it?

QUACKITY: Okay, okay- oh no, no, no.

RANBOO: Not again, not again.

QUACKITY: This is not good.

TUBBO: Not the bees!

TOMMY: Holy shit, holy shit!

QUACKITY: Okay, okay, I don’t even have shit.

TUBBO: Not the bees!

QUACKITY: Okay, alright.

FUNDY: Why did you spawn one on the bees?

SAPNAP: Why did you spawn on the bees?

TOMMY: Not there.

EVERYONE: The bees!

22:02

There’s three withers now.

TOMMY: Holy shit!

JACK MANIFOLD: No!

TOMMY: Okay, Ranboo, Ranboo, stick with me.

RANBOO: Yeah, yeah.

TOMMY: Okay, we’re gonna fight as a group; everyone round up! At the bee house! At the bee house! Tubbo, take charge! There’s one at the bee house; get it! Get the one at the bee house!

PUFFY: It’s got me!

TOMMY: There’s four of them! Ah! Five!

ERET: There’s so many withers.

TECHNOBLADE: Why are they shooting me?

TOMMY: Everyone! Eret. Everyone - kill them! Please.

TECHNOBLADE: What are you doing here?

QUACKITY: I’m feeling from the country!

TOMMY: Oh my god. Technoblade! L’Manberg!

QUACKITY: Oh no, oh no, no, no.

TOMMY crawls atop of the camarvan, looking around at the destruction the withers are bringing to the country.

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

TECHNOBLADE: I should’ve kept more invis potions. That would’ve been a good idea. Mind your business, mind your business.

PONK: My cat died!

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

RANBOO: Jack, run.

JACK MANIFOLD: I’m trying, I’m really trying!

TOMMY: Punz!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh TommyInnit!

TOMMY: I’m running!

SAPNAP: NO!

TOMMY: Holy shit.

TECHNOBLADE: Okay, what wither is attacking me?

TOMMY: Gotta get iron.

TECHNOBLADE: What is this? What is this? This not the plan.

23:16

TOMMY: Chat, we gotta get iron! We gotta get a bucket, then we can go up, then we can go up.

TOMMY: Okay, Technoblade, listen.

RANBOO: Oh, Jack’s got two on him, that’s not good.

PONK: Bro, I found a wither rose.

TECHNOBLADE: I need to get my stuff back.

TOMMY: Oh, okay.

TECHNOBLADE: I need invis potions.

JACK MANIFOLD: Oh, there’s one here!

HBOMB: Niki, I gave you some stuff.

NIKI: Aha

RANBOO: Oh my god, there’s an entire army down there.

QUACKITY: Niki, can I speak to you, can I speak to you?

RANBOO: There’s an entire army around

NIKI: Sure.

TECHNOBLADE: Looking for invis potions!

RANBOO: I gotta get out of here.

TOMMY: You know what? We’ll speak to Techno. Tubbo, Tubbo, everyone - please! L’Manberg! Just group up, we can’t fight this solo.

TUBBO: I’m already grouped up.

TOMMY: Alright, I’m coming, I’m coming.

TECHNOBLADE: There’s nothing in here, I should have gotten more invis.

TOMMY: Okay, get in the- Tubbo! Get in the caravan! Get in the caravan!

TOMMY: Alright, listen to me- oh hello. Tubbo, where are you?

TUBBO: Getting in the caravan!

TOMMY: Get in the caravan now!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh yeah, the caravan. That’ll save you.

TUBBO: Okay!

TOMMY: Okay, listen to me, listen to me- arh! Okay, listen to me, listen to me- oh no. I know this looks bad.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh there’s one after me! Oh, the cruel irony!

TOMMY: Here’s what we do! We go for the withers alright, we fight one wither at a time, we fight them as a group. Please! We don’t have enough time! Get out, go, go! Holy shit!

RANBOO: There’s nine! There’s nine withers!

SAPNAP: Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: I need more invis! This was not according to the plan!

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

TOMMY: We’ve gotta get out.

TECHNOBLADE: Do you have invis potions?

RANBOO: There’s one, there’s one.

TOMMY: L’Manberg.

TUBBO: This is…

TOMMY: He’s minding you.

TECHNOBLADE: Don’t mind me! Don’t mind me!

TECHNOBLADE: Don’t mind me! The particles!

TUBBO: Oh my god.

TECHNOBLADE: Smokescreen technique! Smokescreen technique!

TOMMY: Holy shit! Jack Manifold, get in the tunnel! Okay, okay, speak to me - speak to me! Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: Phil! Phil, meet me in your house!

SAPNAP: Kill the withers! Kill the withers!

TECHNOBLADE: Meet me in your house, Phil!

RANBOO: This is not good.

TOMMY: I can’t- okay, we gotta kill them one at a time, one at a time, Jack. Wait for it to come down, one at a time.

25:49

TECHNOBLADE: What the heck is “Do Not Read”?

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

JACK MANIFOLD: Oh shit, oh shit!

TOMMY: Oh if only I had “How to Sex 2” on me right now. Keep him there, Jack! Take ‘em down one at a time!

RANBOO: You guys-

TOMMY: Jack, please.

SAPNAP: Eret, Eret, can I borrow- Eret-

TOMMY: Have we got any of them?

TUBBO: This is…

TECHNOBLADE: Ranboo, you’re alright, I’ll give you time to get away. Ranboo, get out of here, Ranboo! I don’t have anything against you. You can get out of here, just flee the battle, no one will know!

PHILZA: No one will know.

TECHNOBLADE: Except that wither, except that wither!

TOMMY: Holy shit!

TECHNOBLADE: It’s okay, you just gotta get away from that wither, it’s fine!

TECHNOBLADE: What am I doing here?

TOMMY: Oh! Everything is going!

TOMMY: Tubbo, please. Tubbo, stick with me!

TUBBO: I am still here with you.

TOMMY: Okay, let’s- everyone, listen to me if you can hear me! Take them down one at a time! Look how low they’re getting! Use the Axe of Peace unironically!

TECHNOBLADE: Let’s go!

TOMMY: Come on, one at a time, one at a time! Please!

TECHNOBLADE: Ten more minutes, Phil! Ten more minutes!

ERET: Big Q!

QUACKITY: What do you want from me? I don’t even have anything!

PONK: Take this!

TECHNOBLADE: Check this out.

PONK: Fuck you!

QUACKITY: Yes, let’s go, Ponk!

PONK: Oh, he dropped it! No!

TOMMY pearls a bit higher up in silence, trying to get some kind of high ground.

QUACKITY: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I dropped it. I don’t even have a sword, Ponk!

PUFFY: No!

PONK: Take this!

QUACKITY: Do you have my bow?

PONK: I don’t know!

RANBOO: Where are they?

QUACKITY: Do you have my bow? Ponk, you picked up my things!

PONK: I don’t have your bow, no.

TOMMY: Alright, where are you- Sapnap! Sapnap, listen to me! This isn’t the end.

QUACKITY: Jesus Christ!

TOMMY: Sapnap!

PHILZA: Have fun with that!

RANBOO: Where are they?

QUACKITY: Fuck, it looks ugly!

RANBOO: There is an entire wither on me!

ERET: Kill the withers!

QUACKITY: Oh no.

TECHNOBLADE: He might have seen through my disguise.

TOMMY: Technoblade, where are you? Ranboo, kill it!

RANBOO: I’m trying, I’m trying!

TECHNOBLADE: I’m actually back at my base. I spawned the withers and dipped.

ERET: No! Get them away from here

TECHNOBLADE: The invis is working!

TOMMY: Okay, go down- everyone, everyone!

RANBOO: No, no, no.

QUACKITY: Get him, so I can take his things.

TOMMY: Who is this? Who is that?

TUBBO: Oh, it’s Puffy.

TOMMY: Why would you take invis?

PUFFY: I didn’t take anything!

TOMMY: Okay, everyone; focus. Okay, here’s what we do! Listen to me if you can hear me! I repeat: focus the withers first, then fight Techno!

RANBOO: Come on. Come on!

TECHNOBLADE: Splash them with invis! They won’t know who’s who!

TUBBO: He’s come from the tunnel where I died! He’s not on our side, he’s gappling!

TECHNOBLADE: Tubbo has a totem of undying, guys!

QUACKITY: I have no clothes, but I-

TUBBO: No! Ranboo kill that!

QUACKITY: Who is that?

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

QUACKITY: I need you to hold me, Sapnap!

TOMMY: L’Manberg, Big Q!

TECHNOBLADE: Yeah, yeah, he’s got a shield.

TOMMY: L’Manberg, holy shit!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, wait.

TOMMY: Big Q! Oh, he’s pissed now!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, here it is.

QUACKITY: Let’s go, Tommy! Now we can get these withers! Let’s fucking go!

TECHNOBLADE: TNT! YEAH!

TOMMY: Can we?

TOMMY: What?

SAPNAP: TNT’s raining from the sky!

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

TOMMY: What the fuck?

TECHNOBLADE: YES!

TOMMY: Where? Holy shit! Holy shit!

SAPNAP: Quackity!

QUACKITY: Sapnap, am I gonna die? Am I gonna die? What the fuck?

SAPNAP: You’re not gonna die, you’re not gonna die.

QUACKITY: What the fuck is going on, what the fuck is going on?

RANBOO: Oh god, oh god. Just run!

TUBBO: What is-

HBOMB: How much TNT is that?

RANBOO: Tubbo.

TECHNOBLADE: Tubbo is gone! Minecraft rage!

TOMMY: Tubbo? Tubbo!

QUACKITY: What is going on?

TUBBO: What?

TOMMY: Tubbo, turn around.

QUACKITY: What is going on?

TECHNOBLADE: Yes!

RANBOO: It’s all gone.

QUACKITY: What is going- what-

TOMMY: How did we not-

SAPNAP: Who is this?

PONK: Stay back! No, no, no, don’t come over here!

QUACKITY: What is going on? Holy shit.

TOMMY: Philza Minecraft?

TECHNOBLADE: How much longer do we need to stall, Phil?

PHILZA: I think we’ve done enough damage, for the stall.

TOMMY: Oh no. Tubbo, they’re gonna land on us next! Tubbo! Tubbo! Tubbo, look at me! Look at me, Tubbo!

TECHNOBLADE: Look at what you’re president of, Tubbo!

30:31

TOMMY: Techno. Technoblade, look at me! Do not shoot. Do not shoot.

TECHNOBLADE: Tommy. You had your chance, Tommy!

TOMMY: Technoblade, listen to me! For once in your life! You didn’t have to- you didn’t have to do this. You could have compromised! The thing about the the discs, Technoblade, is that they were for me! We could have had a government, you could have let us live with this!

TECHNOBLADE: I don’t care about the discs, Tommy! I was upfront with you from the start! The government has to go!

TOMMY: You didn’t compromise! Technoblade, you are selfish!

TECHNOBLADE: Selfish? You used me from the start, Tommy! You’re wearing my helmet!

TOMMY: Technoblade, you said we betrayed you! You said we betrayed you! You said that we were the ones who betrayed you!

TECHNOBLADE: You betrayed me like 12 times!

TOMMY: Technoblade, look at me. Look at me right now. You said you hated governments, you said that we were the ones that betrayed you; but you’re the one who killed Tubbo when JSchlatt told you to! You’re the one who betrayed us! Out of all of this, Technoblade,

TECHNOBLADE: I was peer pressured! You betrayed me!

TOMMY: Listen to me!

TECHNOBLADE: You used me! You’ve never thought of me as a friend, Tommy, you’ve just used me from the start.

TOMMY: I have, Techno.

TECHNOBLADE: You just saw me as The Blade, that’s all I was to you. The Blade! A weapon! Well, guess what… I’m choosing what I’m fighting for now.

TECHNOBLADE fires rockets at TOMMY. Just before the second rocket hits, TUBBO jumps in front of him to protect him.

TECHNOBLADE: And I’m going to destroy the government, Tommy! You’ll all die! It’s gone! We’re chunk erroring this!

TOMMY: Techno. Techno. Techno. Look at me, look at me. Please. Don’t fight, Tubbo.

TECHNOBLADE: Is that really the fight- who keeps shooting me?

TOMMY: Techno, look at me! You’re the one who did this! The people- you were my friend, you were my friend! You were The Blade, you were our-

TECHNOBLADE: Tommy.

TECHNOBLADE: Who’s over there? Sapnap, we’re having a moment! Get out of here!

TOMMY: Listen to me! I thought friendship- Techno, for once in your life, listen to me! You were my friend!

TECHNOBLADE: I listened to you for weeks!

TOMMY: Just listen to me!

TECHNOBLADE: I helped you! And you went back to Tubbo, the guy that exiled you! He chose his country over you.

TOMMY: Techno, people are above the government! We- it doesn’t matter if we want a government-

32:57

TECHNOBLADE: I am a person!

TOMMY: You are, Technoblade! And so are we! You- the reason the discs were important is because they were stolen from me. Nothing was taken from you!

TECHNOBLADE: The discs aren’t people!

TOMMY: Nothing was taken from you here! You’re selfish! You destroy what people love for your own self gain. You’re selfish!

TECHNOBLADE: All of these problems are because of your government. Your government has caused all these issues! I believe in freedom, Tommy!

TOMMY: You don’t believe in- when you were peer pressured, that’s not freedom! That was you following what the government- that was the president telling you to-

TECHNOBLADE: Tommy, that was like four months ago!

TOMMY: It was, and you killed Tubbo! Don’t forget about the past right now! Tubbo, back up for me here! He killed you!

TUBBO: Yeah...

TECHNOBLADE: He’s president, he’s president! Get him out of here! He’s wearing your helmet!

TOMMY: And you killed him.

TECHNOBLADE: Yeah, ‘cause he’s the president!

TOMMY: But even when he wasn’t the president, you killed him as well.

TECHNOBLADE: Yeah, that’s true.

TOMMY: You’re as bad as the government, Technoblade. In fact, you know what, you’re worse.

TECHNOBLADE: I was stood there alone against a whole government, and you and Wilbur just sat there on the sidelines and watched. Did you step in? Did you step in? Were you guys the ones who stepped and said “Don’t worry, Technoblade, we know you’re in a high pressure situation, but we’ll fight the world for you, Technoblade!” No, you guys watched! You know what I did? Yesterday? When you were surrounded by like 30 people and the whole world was against you? I walked in, I was willing to fight all of them for you, Tommy. I would have been there.

TOMMY: Techno-

TECHNOBLADE: That is the difference between us.

TOMMY: We spent hours together, man.

TECHNOBLADE: Don’t speak to me of loyalty!

TOMMY: No, you were my friend, and you betrayed us!

TECHNOBLADE: You never thought of me as a friend!

TOMMY: And the thing about this government is that- it didn’t interfere with you!

TECHNOBLADE: Yes, it did!

TOMMY: You have your own freedom, just let people love what they love, man! You’re selfish, Techno.

TOMMY: The discs interfered with us, they were stolen by Dream! Why would you side with the maniac-?

TECHNOBLADE: They hunted me down! The whole butcher army! And they executed me! I tried being peaceful, Tommy, but the government made it clear-

TECHNOBLADE: I used to think like that, Tommy. You know what they did to me?

TOMMY: You didn’t have to do this.

TECHNOBLADE: I did! The government-

TOMMY: They executed you because you blew up the entire- you spawned withers just like you’ve done again! All you did is repeat history, but worse. You’re selfish.

TECHNOBLADE: You guys brought this upon yourselves. I was prepared to live peacefully in my cottage and be chill, and just farm-

TOMMY: Techno, you can’t live in a cottage after you blow up the government. That’s not how it works. Actions have consequences.

TECHNOBLADE: Actions do have consequences, Tommy. And these are the consequences! It’s over! I’m killing Quackity! He’s got actual armor.

QUACKITY: No, no, no. Why?

TECHNOBLADE: Get back here! Get back here!

35:34

TOMMY: Tubbo

TECHNOBLADE: Get back here! He’s got my armor

QUACKITY: No, I stole this, this is mine!

TECHNOBLADE: Get back here!

QUACKITY: Technoblade, Technoblade, we attacked you- goddamnit! We attacked you at your cottage because you did exactly this! You did this, you exploded L’Manberg!

TECHNOBLADE: I was willing to be peaceful!

TECHNOBLADE: I changed!

QUACKITY: It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, you were part of the hitlist. Technoblade, you were meant to suffer the consequences for what you did. That’s what happened.

TOMMY: Everything.

TECHNOBLADE: This is the consequences for hunting me down!

TECHNOBLADE: Taken my punishment and left? You would have literally killed me! What do you mean left?

QUACKITY: That’s true, that’s very true!

TOMMY: Technoblade!

QUACKITY: Technoblade, listen, you had to. You had to. And it was for L’Manberg, and it was for the country.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, I hate this, what is this-

TOMMY: You’ve become the tyrant.

TECHNOBLADE: The tyrant? Bruh, bruh.

TOMMY: You’ve become the tyrant.

TECHNOBLADE: I am one man, the world will be better. The world will be better without the government! Airstrike!

ERET: Oh my god.

TECHNOBLADE: Airstrike! It wouldn’t be a final boss if I didn’t have stages”

ERET: Woah!

PHILZA: Yeah! Yeah! Go!

TUBBO: I don’t…

TOMMY: Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: Why is the wither following me in the sky? It’s ruining my moment.

TUBBO: Yeah.

TOMMY: Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: Oh my god.

37:24

TOMMY: Tubbo! It’s gone!

TUBBO: Seems like history really is doomed to repeat itself.

TOMMY: The caravan… the caravan! The camarvan!

TUBBO: Oh man.

QUACKITY: Fellas, there’s still L’Mantree.

TOMMY: There’s still, there’s still the tree.

QUACKITY: The L’Mantree’s still alive.

TUBBO: The L’Mantree.

QUACKITY: Come on. Just-

TOMMY: As long as the tree’s alive. Yeah, yeah, get to the tree.

TUBBO: I’m going to the tree.

QUACKITY: Head to the tree. Where’s-

TOMMY: Wilbur! That was my last memory of Wilbur! Of the real Wilbur.

QUACKITY: Where’s the fucking tree?

TOMMY: The tree’s in the box.

QUACKITY: Where’s the goddamn-

TUBBO: The tree-yeah.

QUACKITY: Okay, where is it, where is it?

TOMMY: The tree-

TUBBO: Eh the tree is supposed to be here. Right here.

QUACKITY: Tommy. Tubbo.

TUBBO: The tree is meant to be here where I’m standing.

QUACKITY: It’s gone.

TUBBO: The tree is gone.

TOMMY: No. No, it’s not. No, it’s not!

QUACKITY: The tree is gone!

TOMMY: Wait-

TUBBO: It’s gone.

TOMMY rejoins the other VC.

PHIL: Where do you think-?

TOMMY: Where’s the tree?

PONK: No, please!

TOMMY: Where’s the tree?

PONK: Please!

TECHNOBLADE: Every time I see you, you have less armor.

PONK: No!

TECHNOBLADE: Guess who’s gently gliding towards you, Ponk!

TOMMY: Tubbo.

TOMMY: Technoblade, where’s- where’s the L’Mantree?

TECHNOBLADE: Bro, I don’t know what- I’m gonna be real with you, I don’t know what the L’Mantree is. No one ever told me about it.

TOMMY: Does any-

TECHNOBLADE: Dream said something about blowing up the L’Mantree, so - mhm.

FUNDY: It’s gone! It’s gone!

QUACKITY: It’s fucking gone!

TECHNOBLADE: I hate trees!

QUACKITY: It’s out, that’s it.

FUNDY: It’s all gone! Everything! Everything is gone!

ERET: The downfall.

TECHNOBLADE: This wither is so annoying- wait, I can just kill this wither. This wither sucks. Yeah! I have dogs! My dogs!

39:21

TOMMY: VC 2, Tubbo and Big Q.

TUBBO: Mhm.

QUACKITY: It’s gone.

TOMMY: Is it- Tubbo, Tubbo, take half of these. Is it really all-?

QUACKITY: Tommy. There’s no use, it’s gone. It’s gone.

TOMMY: No, it’s not- no, no, no, no.

TOMMY: This is the way I travelled with Wilbur. Walk from here on out, Tubbo. This is… it can’t be. It can’t be.

QUACKITY: L’Manberg no longer exists.

TOMMY: Tubbo. L’Manberg… it’s gone.

TUBBO: Yeah, this is definitely beyond the point of repair.

TOMMY: L’Manberg is...Tubbo….Tubbo.

TUBBO: Mhm… I am speechless.

TOMMY: Let’s just make a new bed out of this, just in case.

TUBBO: Good idea. Wait, actually, Tommy, there’s a bed just over here. I made a bed.

TOMMY: Oh, okay.

TUBBO: - before. I think, anyway.

TOMMY: I got three wool.

TUBBO: Yeah, that bed is almost definitely gone.

TOMMY: Let’s just grab some…

TUBBO: Yeah, it’s definitely…

TOMMY: Why did Wilbur… Tubbo, Tubbo, set your spawn.

TUBBO: I can’t actually run anymore. That’s fine.

TOMMY: Hey.

TUBBO: Hey.

TUBBO: Yeah, this is… this was planned.

TOMMY: It’s for real.

GHOSTBUR messages EVERYONE

GHOSTBUR, messaging: hey guys am i interrupting ? :)

TUBBO: Yeah…

TOMMY messages GHOSTBUR

TOMMY, messaging: Not nwo ghostbur

JACK MANIFOLD messages GHOSTBUR

JACK MANIFOLD, messaging: i lost everything again

TUBBO: I just, I just, I just don’t know.

TOMMY: Tubbo.

TUBBO: Yeah. There’s-

TOMMY: Tubbo, look at me.

TUBBO: There’s nothing left to say.

TOMMY: Look at me!

43:45

TOMMY: You bastard.

DREAM: Tommy. Look, in all destruction there’s a new beginning.

TOMMY: You did this! To all of us, not just to me, but to everyone here.

DREAM: Beautiful. You know, the unfinished symphony, right?

TOMMY: Yeah… why?

DREAM: The server will be at peace now.

TOMMY: Why, Dream? Couldn’t you just, couldn’t you just have burned the discs? Couldn’t you just have done it… to me? Why did you have to…

DREAM: This is much more fun.

TOMMY: You’re a monster.

DREAM: Okay. Well, I think I’m gonna go far from here. For a little while, just to avoid the wave of frustration that I’m sure you’ll have.

TOMMY: This is too far, you’ve crossed- you know you’re a monster. You’ve crossed the line. This is everyone-

DREAM: Tommy, I’m not done with you, okay? Yeah, our story’s not over, L’Manberg’s story is over, but, you know, our story’s not over. I have your discs, I’m sure I’ll see you soon, but-

TOMMY: You’re right. Listen to me, our story’s not over-

DREAM: You’re right.

TOMMY: -but it will be. You know what, Dream? It will be soon.

DREAM: I don’t think our story will ever be over, Tommy.

TOMMY: Oh, I think it will be.

DREAM: I think that you’re just too fun. I don’t think it’ll be over. But I’ll see you soon. This was a good time.

46:26

TOMMY: Where’s Ghostbur?

GHOSTBUR: Hi guys! Ehm, I- what’s going on around here?

TOMMY: Turn these off, Big Q, turn these off.

QUACKITY: Jesus Christ, you scared me.

GHOSTBUR: I just- I came to see my sewer. I was having a little walk, and I came to my sewer, and it’s just a big hole. What’s happened- is- we- hey, you guys are all walking along the big obsidian thing!

QUACKITY: We’re… oh my god.

TOMMY: Ghostbur… it’s over.

GHOSTBUR: What’s over? I just started my stream.

QUACKITY: He keeps going- break em, break em, break em, he keeps going- oh my god.

TOMMY: Ghostbur, it’s over.

GHOSTBUR: No, don’t talk like that-

GHOSTBUR: You mean L’Manberg?

TOMMY: Tubbo!

GHOSTBUR: It’s been like this before! This is-

TUBBO: It has not been like this before.

GHOSTBUR: It has!

TOMMY: Wilbur, Wilbur. We lost.

GHOSTBUR: I didn’t even know we were fighting.

TUBBO: Mhm.

QUACKITY: We were. Your L’Manberg is gone.

TOMMY: Our L’Manberg.

QUACKITY: Yeah, our L’Manberg.

TOMMY: Just turn these off.

QUACKITY: Yeah.

GHOSTBUR: Wait, this was Philza? Phil was looking after friend. Wait…

TUBBO: No, there’s no way that friend survived.

TOMMY: Tubbo, where are you?

TUBBO: Over here.

TOMMY: Listen to me. L’Manberg… we lost, Tubbo. But-

QUACKITY: Oh fuck.

TOMMY: But this is- but remember this. Please, Tubbo.

TUBBO: Mhm.

TOMMY: Do you wanna know why all of- we’ve gotta end it, Tubbo.

GHOSTBUR: End?

TUBBO: How do you suggest we do that?

GHOSTBUR: Friend…

TOMMY: We’re gonna do the last thing there is to do. We have to, now. Before we lose everything.

TOMMY hits his desk hard twice.

GHOSTBUR: Where’s friend?

TOMMY: We’ve got to.

GHOSTBUR: Phil?

TUBBO: What are you hitting?

TOMMY: Phil.

TUBBO: Yeah, Phil.

GHOSTBUR: I gave friend to Phil to look after, and Dream, Dream found me friend. And Technoblade, he was- we were- he said we were friends.

TOMMY: Technoblade… here’s the thing, Wilbur.

GHOSTBUR: See, people wouldn’t lie about that, would they?

TOMMY: Wilbur, the problem with Technoblade-

GHOSTBUR: Why is it- why is still-? That was my blue, that was my blue!

TOMMY: The problem with Technoblade, Wilbur, is that he was our friend all along. And here’s the thing that you gotta understand; we were never his friend. And so to him, this was all just an act of politics, it was all just an act of clout and a social ladder. But to us, and I think this has always been - and you won’t remember, Tubbo you will, Big Q, this has just been a friendship. But to Technoblade, this was a ladder, and Technoblade’s climbed to the tippity top. Do you wanna know the only way you can go? On a ladder?

GHOSTBUR: I didn’t think you were gonna say that one.

GHOSTBUR: Side to side?

TOMMY, laughing: I’m so sorry, Ghostbur.

TUBBO: You can go up.

TOMMY: No, no, once you reach the top of the ladder, Tubbo, you can only go down.

GHOSTBUR: Side to side.

TOMMY: You could go side to side, but really there would be no point.

TUBBO: The top of the ladder-

TOMMY: The ladder’s incredibly thin, social ladders are actually very thin. It’s quite renown. I’ve read books.

GHOSTBUR: You could go side to side, but then you would also fall off the ladder.

TOMMY: You would fall off the ladder, and then you’d split your neck.

GHOSTBUR: Maybe you split your neck, and you might bleed and die.

QUACKITY: That’s true. That’s what ladders do.

GHOSTBUR: It’s Fundy, and Technoblade.

TOMMY: Fundy, don’t- listen, you know what? We’re not L’Manberg anymore, but we’re still together, and I need you to listen… although-

QUACKITY: Fellas.

GHOSTBUR: Where’s friend?

TUBBO: I suppose.

GHOSTBUR: Where’s friend?

QUACKITY: Just to pay our vice.

TOMMY: One last time.

QUACKITY: Alright.

GHOSTBUR: It’s like Hamilton.

TOMMY: Just like Hamilton.

TUBBO: Just like Hamilton.

QUACKITY: I don’t know what Hamilton is, but yeah, just like Hamilton. Alright, fellas.

TOMMY: Ghostbur?

GHOSTBUR: Yeah?

QUACKITY: Sing with me.

TOMMY: You know the anthem better than anyone else.

L’Manberg Anthem

I heard there was a special place

Where men could go and emancipate

The brutality

And tyranny

Of their rulers

Well, this place is real

You needn’t fret

With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Fuck Eret

A very big and not blown up L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

For freedom and for liberty

Our nation sought to build on these

A victory for all under our freedom

Well the darkness came and then it went

We built a home and watched it sink

And from the rubble

Emerged my great

L’Manburg

My L’manburg

My L’manburg

My L’manburg

My L’manburg

With bloodied hands

And weakened knees

Our peoplе rose like

The phoеnix

Our empty fields and canals ‘round

L’Mantree

With sweat and tears we armed our ranks

We laid foundations in our land

And from every lips for

Here up to forever

We sing L’Manburg

We sing L’Manburg

We sing L’Manburg

We sing L’Manburg

54:44

GHOSTBUR: The L’Mantree’s gone.

TOMMY: It’s all gone.

TUBBO: Yes, it is.

QUACKITY: Yes, it is. My L’Manberg-

TOMMY: Our L’Manberg.

QUACKITY: Our L’Manberg, that’s right.

GHOSTBUR: I’ve been reading- I was reading the history books, Quackity.

QUACKITY: Yeah.

GHOSTBUR: And do you think if Alivebur and you hadn’t gone head to head, this wouldn’t have happened?

QUACKITY: It would have happened, Wilbur. It would have happened, one way or another; this result was inevitable. You see, when I ran for president I saw a one-party system that wasn’t democratic at all, and one way or another; all of this would have happened. What’s important to keep in mind is that all of that is behind us, and all we need to look forward to is the future. If you think about it, Tommy, now all you have in your sights is Dream

TOMMY: You’re right, Big Q, you’re right, but I think-

QUACKITY: He cannot threaten our country anymore because he’s destroyed it. Very unfortunately, but it’s gone.

TOMMY: The thing that upsets me the most is that all this time, Technoblade told me I was betraying him, and you know what; I did. But he was our friend, we spent hours with him, building, taking people hostage, and just-

GHOSTBUR: Every book is gone.

TOMMY: He betrayed us, and he-

GHOSTBUR: I need to go and talk to Phil.

TOMMY: Okay. We were never really his friend, were we?

TECHNOBLADE shoots TUBBO and kills him using [Rocket Launcher].

TOMMY: He’s a monster.

QUACKITY: Yeah.

TOMMY: And he- but he-

QUACKITY: Tommy. Trust nobody. Trust nobody, Tommy, okay?

TOMMY: The thing is-

QUACKITY: Except for Tubbo. Trust nobody.

TOMMY: Yeah.

QUACKITY: Okay.

TOMMY: You’re right. He- people- the discs aren’t people. The discs were stolen from me, Big Q. They were mine, and they were stolen.

JACK MANIFOLD messages TECHNOBLADE

JACK MANIFOLD, messaging: you’ve made an enemy of me technoblade

JACK MANIFOLD, messaging: live in fear

TECHNOBLADE, messaging: i still have tnt

TECHNOBLADE, messaging: your house is right there

TOMMY: L’Manberg isn’t anyone’s, L’Manberg was its own; and me chasing the discs for which I put so much- I fucked up so bad, but they were mine. L’Manberg was ours, L’Manberg was people’s. It was ours. The problem with Techno is that he will never compromise. He will never ever let anyone else have what they want because unless it aligns with exactly what he wants; then we’ve betrayed him. It’s all gone, it’s all gone.

QUACKITY: Let this be a lesson, Tommy. Let it be a lesson, and just finish it off. Finish it off, Tommy.

TOMMY: We can’t let him win.

TOMMY: What do you mean?

QUACKITY: Yeah, let him win, Tommy. And we’re not gonna let him win. No matter how much it takes, how much fighting, guess what?

TOMMY: What I feared losing the most, I can still get back. You’re right.

TOMMY: What?

QUACKITY: Maybe use your discs as leverage, Tommy, but remember; you’re going after a man for what he’s done. Okay? You’re not going after a man for what he took from you, but for what he’s done. You said it yourself; it’s our L’Manberg. Use the discs as an excuse, Tommy, but-

TOMMY: He can’t pay for this.

QUACKITY: But go after Dream for means of justice, not the discs, okay?

TOMMY: You’re right. It’s just- he’s selfish, Big Q! Technoblade, he didn’t- he could have just, he didn’t have- my shit was stolen from me! He could have just let us do our government and let him not have government, he could have just- it’s just, he’s a selfish, selfish bastard.

QUACKITY: That’s true.

TOMMY: But… that’s behind us now. And, although Technoblade… might have been terrible-

GHOSTBUR: I take it back, Tommy. Tommy, I take it back.

TOMMY: Dream was the worst. What do you take back, Wilbur?

GHOSTBUR: I’m feeling- I’m burning in the rain right now, and I just… Tommy, I want you to bring me back to life.

TOMMY: What?

TOMMY is struck by lightning.

1:01:00

GHOSTBUR: Tommy

GHOSTBUR: Okay, I need to come see you.

TOMMY: Yeah?

TOMMY: I don’t know what Fundy’s deal was tonight. You know what, you’re right, Big Q. From now on, trust no one.

GHOSTBUR: I’m here. Have some blue, calm yourself, calm yourself.

TOMMY: Oh I need calm.

GHOSTBUR: Please, calm yourselves, calm yourselves.

TUBBO: Thank god Jack Manifold’s here, Jesus, what would we do without him?

JACK MANIFOLD: I just want to help out, guys.

TOMMY: What will we do without him and his silence?

QUACKITY: Does anyone have food?

GHOSTBUR: Tommy, I know- I know, I know how I said that I didn’t wanna be brought back to life because that would mean me, as Ghostbur, would stop existing. But I want you to bring me back to life.

TOMMY: Hey Wilbur

TOMMY: Really?

GHOSTBUR: And I know who can do it.

TOMMY: Well, you know what, Wilbur? Here’s what we do. Here’s what we do now, because there is- there are some last things, there is something we can do. ‘Cause we lost today. We lost L’Manberg, but we did not lose what we stand for. And although you won’t remember this-

TOMMY: Who?

GHOSTBUR: I lost friend.

TOMMY: Tubbo. I don’t know when, but soon - Dream said he’s gonna far away, away. This is what we do; the next few nights or however long we can over the next week or two, we prepare everything. Everything we’ve got because, Tubbo, this war - L’Manberg was forged - every war on this server, the conflicts that Dream started, was started with me and you. And you know what, Tubbo? It’s gonna end with me and you.

TUBBO: Okay.

TOMMY: And it has been for a long time,

GHOSTBUR: Can I have some blue?

TOMMY: I’ve only got six left.

GHOSTBUR: Just one, I just need one. Thank you.

TOMMY: But we’re gonna take him out. You hear me? Come with me, everyone.

1:04:46

TOMMY: Oh my god, shut up. Look.

GHOSTBUR: Goodbye friend.

GHOSTBUR: What?

TOMMY: Be careful, guys, there’s holes in the bridge.

GHOSTBUR: Together we as friends can take on any foe on the bridge.

QUACKITY: Yeah, I guess.

GHOSTBUR falls.

QUACKITY: Oh well, he’s-

1:05:29

TOMMY: Tubbo, this is the disc I listened to in exile. Where are you, Wilbur?

GHOSTBUR: I’m coming

TOMMY: Ah. Sorry.

TOMMY: Why are you coming?

GHOSTBUR: Here I come. Are you at your jukebox spot?

TOMMY: Yeah, I am.

GHOSTBUR: Okay. Hi!

TOMMY: Hi. Sit down.

GHOSTBUR: My skin is really hurting in this rain- oh! It’s not raining here

TOMMY: That is so weird- oh, when did that- I haven’t been here for so long.

1:06:39

TOMMY: Guys, is George asleep right now?

TUBBO: Yeah, yeah

QUACKITY: He fucking is! Argh! - Sorry. It brought me flashbacks, I’m sorry.

TOMMY: It doesn’t end here.

TOMMY plays the disc “chirp”.

GHOSTBUR: Chirp.

TUBBO: I like this version.

JACK MANIFOLD: I like this one.

TOMMY: Wow.

1:08:28

TOMMY: Everyone. Take your blue, Wilbur. I’ll ehm-

GHOSTBUR: I’ll leave.

TOMMY: I’ll see you ehm- we gotta fucking prepare.

TOMMY: I’ll see you all soon, okay? Tubbo?

TUBBO: Okay.

QUACKITY: Tommy.

TOMMY: Big Q. Yeah?

GHOSTBUR: Hello!

QUACKITY: Remember just one thing.

GHOSTBUR: Tommy! Do you remember the first time- oh, sorry, Quackity.

QUACKITY: Yeah. Tommy, you’re going after Dream and Dream has a lot of people on his side, so trust nobody, okay? That’s all I’m gonna tell you.

TOMMY: Yeah. What was that, Wilbur?

GHOSTBUR: Do you remember the first thing that I ever said to you, Tommy?

TOMMY: What?

GHOSTBUR: I came up to you, you were right here, and I came up to you and went “Hello, I’m Ghostbur!”.

TOMMY: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

GHOSTBUR: Hey! Goodbye, I’m Ghostbur!

TOMMY: Goodbye, Ghostbur.

GHOSTBUR: Bye, bye!

TOMMY: Goodbye everyone.

1:10:26

TOMMY: But listen to me, we’re going to get back the discs. And then I’m gonna fucking kill Dream.

[emmyhem]

always (l.r.h)

a/n: hi everyone! this is a lil angsty piece i wanted to get up. i just want to say again how sorry i am for not getting anything up for the past two weeks, i’ve just been overwhelmed with some stuff for my classes, but i am starting to get back in the swing of things now. also, this is unedited as i was rushing to get it up in time. i do plan on posting something else tomorrow night and hopefully i’ll be posting pretty consistently from now on. also this does end kind of abruptly but i wanted to leave it like that because i’m a sucker for angst, with that being said i would be happy to write a part two if that’s something you’d be interested in. anyway, feedback and comments are appreciated as always and i hope you’re all having an amazing day/night. enjoy! - emmy <33

pairing: luke hemmings x fem!reader 

summary: luke recounts his mistake and hopes he can patch things up with his always. 

warnings:  very brief mention of sex, cursing, mentions of alcohol, luke’s being an asshole, mention of pinching (idk), slight insecurity from the reader, lots of angst :( 

word count: 2.6k

Luke had always hated the quiet. That’s when his thoughts were the loudest. That must be why he had never really liked being alone with himself. 

Tonight in particular, his thoughts were practically screaming, one word over and over again. 

“Y/n”

For the past two years that name had acted as his most favorite word, one that he would utter whenever he had gotten the chance. Whether it be to brag about your recent accomplishments to his friends, to catch your attention from another room, or falling from his lips with a sigh of pleasure as he reached completion with you laying breathlessly beneath him. 

Now the word seemed torturous, the last time he uttered it replaying on a relentless loop in his head. 

It was your 2nd anniversary. Dinner had been laid out on the table for an hour. Two glasses of wine sat untouched in front of a vase of roses you had picked out at the florist earlier that morning, and there was no sign of Luke. 

You were wracking through your brain as you watched a petal fall from a rose and land lightly in one of the glasses. 

Had you gotten the time wrong? 

But you were sure that the two of you had agreed on 8:00 for dinner, that way you had time to get everything ready after getting home from work, and Luke wouldn’t have to rush to leave the studio. 

Yet somehow you found yourself staring at the now cold dinner at 9:30, with absolutely no word from Luke. You wanted to call, if for no other reason than to check he was still alive and breathing, but your nerves stopped you from doing that, not wanting to take on the role of the overbearing girlfriend. 

Your stomach growled hungrily over the light music that was playing through the house speakers. So, begrudgingly you took a bite of the pasta on your plate before downing your entire glass of wine. 

Luke arrived home about 2 hours later, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. He caught sight of the table, with one setting completely untouched as he hung up his coat, causing guilt to pang in his chest. 

“Baby,” he called out, carrying himself to your shared bedroom.

When no response came his heart rate sped up in fear that you had left. 

“Y/n” he called, louder this time with a sense of urgency clear in his voice.  

That’s when he spotted a person sized lump underneath the duvet. Releasing a sigh of relief he moved towards you, peeling the blankets off and leaving a soft kiss on your shoulder. 

This caused you to stir a bit, eyes fluttering open to meet him. 

“Hi, my love.” he cooed. 

A frown was prominent on your face, and a crease separated your eyebrows as they furrowed angrily. 

“I’m sorry I’m late. We got a bit carried away in the studio, but in good news the album is coming along great. M’so excited for you to hear it” 

You had always tried to be understanding of Luke’s job for many reasons. One being that you both reaped the benefit of his success, you wanted for essentially nothing, had a nice house, the opportunity to travel, and Luke often spoiled you with gifts even if you asked him not to. Another being how happy it made your boyfriend. Music truly was his passion, and he was so talented that you wouldn’t want for him to ever put his work on the back burner for you. 

With that being said, you made a point to take time off to spend time with him whenever you were able to. You had even changed jobs because your last one hadn’t allowed you to go on tour with him, which he had been adamant about, insisting, “There’s no way I can be away from you for that long.” 

And you were happy to do all of those things, because you were in love, and  you felt incredibly lucky to even be a part of his world. But you did start to question things as your relationship went on. It felt like Luke didn’t even consider your job. He only saw it as something that took you away from him. 

You had worked hard to get where you were in the occupational field. Without your job all you would have to do is sit around and wait for Luke to be ready for you, and you just couldn’t live like that. 

Luke turned on the lamp on your nightstand as you slowly sat up in bed. 

“2 weeks Luke, we’ve had these plans for two weeks.” 

“I know baby I tried, but you know how it is when inspiration strikes.” he dismissed while sitting the flowers on the ground. 

“No, I don’t. Do you not think that I have things I could be doing for work? Cause I do, and I choose this over all of that.” you huffed in frustration. 

Luke took a deep breath while subtly rolling his eyes. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry for missing dinner, but you don’t understand the pressure I’m under, from the fans, the label, management, and the band.” 

“I know that you work hard and I know how important this is to you, and I’m so proud of you, but I’m proud of us too and I would’ve liked to have a night for just us.” you tried to explain. “Not to mention the fact that I’m under pressure in my job too and I always find time for you, no matter what.” 

“Yea, you have pressure from a job that you don’t need.” his voice rising in anger with each word as he paced around the room. 

“How many times do I have to tell you Luke? It’s my job, it’s a part of my life and I don’t plan on giving it up anytime soon.” you shouted. 

“Great.” he replied sarcastically. “Then you should understand that I won’t give up my job anytime soon.” 

“I’m not asking you to, I’m just asking for a bit of consideration, and just a sliver of your time.” 

“I’m working to make us more money.” he stated.

“Luke, we don’t need any more money. You should be working because you enjoy it and because it’s your passion.”

He let out a condescending laugh before turning to look in your eyes. 

“Yea, well you don’t seem to mind all the money when you're sitting at home in the house that I bought, and leeching off of my bank account on the daily. D’ya think you could afford all the shit you have just based on your salary?” he spat crudely. 

You physically leaned back as if the words had just actually been thrown at you. They must’ve, because the pain they caused felt far too real to just be emotional. You opened your mouth to fight back, to scream, to do something but the lump in your throat prevented anything to come out other than a sad, and pathetic squeak. 

Was that what he thought about you? 

This had caught you completely off guard. Sure, you were expecting an argument, you’d even say you were expecting a big one, but you would’ve never guessed he would throw this in your face. 

You felt betrayed. It had always made you insecure that you were making such little money compared to your boyfriend. 

Some days after receiving your paycheck you would go out and spend it all on Luke, solely because you wanted to know that you could contribute too. You would do that whenever you got the chance, to reassure that your work was important, and valid. And mainly to show Luke that you appreciated all he did for you. 

He would always reply, “You don’t have to do this, love. I like spoiling my girl.” 

Yeah right. 

“I wasn’t, I m-mean I don’t try to lee-,” you paused, the word feeling too gross to repeat back. 

“Well, you do whether you're trying or not so the least you can do is give me a break occasionally.” he spoke casually, while changing into sweats as if he wasn’t ripping you apart with every word. 

You kept a blank stare at the bedroom door, your eyes already stinging with unshed tears. You wished you could be angrier but his words left you questioning and feeling guilty. 

As hard as you’d tried to provide for yourself and make your own way you couldn’t help but wonder if you had subconsciously started leaning on him, more than you had ever wanted. 

Luke continued getting ready for bed, not taking a second look at you since hitting you with his harsh words. 

“I-I’m sorry.” you croaked. 

“It’s fine, Y/n I just wish you could’ve been slightly more understanding.” he continued, still not facing you. 

“I think that maybe, I mean, um I gotta go.” you were speaking through tears, as you abruptly stood from the bed and hurried to leave the room. 

This caught Luke’s attention causing him to spin in your direction at lightning speed, finally taking in your emotional state.

“Going? Going where? I-what are you talking about?” 

You didn’t reply, grabbing your keys, bag, and shoes as you continued to speed to the front door. 

“Y/n!” he continued, following closely behind you. 

You paused at the front door and turned to meet his eyes. His stressed appearance subsided as you allowed him the opportunity to talk. 

“You’re upset.” he concluded, reaching a hand out to hold your cheek.

You leaned away from his touch and shook your head lightly, “M’not.” 

His features softened and he took another step closer to you, “You are. I’m sorry, I was harsh.” 

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” 

“Didn’t know?” 

“I don’t want t-to leech” you stuttered out. 

This rendered Luke speechless, realizing how cruel his words had been. You had taken this as an opportunity to exit the house, quickly running to your car. Luke made it to the driveway just in time to see you drive away. 

“Fuck” he snapped, jogging back towards the house to get his phone and call you in hopes of convincing you to come back. 

After calling you at least 20 times with no response he conceded and decided he should try and get some sleep, that way he was rested enough to get you to forgive him in the morning. 

His body fell naturally to his side of the bed, but his eyes lingered on where you typically laid. 

Rolling onto his back, eyes finding the ceiling he muttered to himself, “I’m an idiot.” 

Eventually he was tiring out, the bedroom ceiling growing extremely boring after staring for so long. He turned on his side to hug your pillow to his chest. As his hand slid under the pillow it came into contact with an envelope that had been hidden underneath. 

He sat up and flicked on a lamp to read the front, “To my Lu” 

He could tell that you had taken your time penciling on your words, each letter was flawless and written delicately. Before ripping it open he hesitated, questioning whether or not he even deserved to see what was inside after the way he spoke to you. The selfish part of his brain won for the second time that night. 

The first thing he saw after opening was two airline tickets situated just in front of a folded piece of notebook paper. 

He held his breath as he brought them into the light, two roundtrip business tickets to Sydney. 

He rushed to read the note you had left with them, unfolding it quickly. 

“Lu, 

Happy two years, my love. I can’t believe I’ve been lucky enough to call you mine for this long. Not a day goes by where I’m not in complete and utter awe of you and everything you do for me. I know how hard you work and how much you miss home and your family while you continue to grow in your music, and in yourself everyday. I know these aren’t the best tickets you’ve ever had by any means or the most extravagant vacation you’ve taken, but I wanted to show you how much I love you and how much I know you deserve, and need a break. We have 2 weeks, we leave tomorrow. I’ve worked it all out with the guys and your label. I know this is just a small way to repay you for the way you’ve taken care of me and the way you’ve loved me so selflessly for so long but I hope it shows you just a sliver of how much I love you. 

Yours always, 

               Y/n” 

He traced the letters of your name repeatedly as he blinked back a few stinging tears, before falling asleep, the note clutched tightly to his chest. 

That was a week, and about 100 missed calls ago.

About two days after you left, your friend had called to let him know that you were safe and staying with her for the time being. It had slightly lessened his worry, but the guilt he felt grew exponentially each day he had no reason to say your name.

He had claimed your side of the bed as his own in hopes that it would bring you closer to him. When he had finally dragged himself out of bed to shower he used your body wash and as embarrassing as it sounds nearly cried when the room was flooded with the familiar rose scented steam. And tonight while scouring through the liquor cabinet and feeling completely sorry for himself he had come across a bottle of tequila that you had purchased on your most recent vacation. 

Luke had put a serious dent in it by the time he was done scrolling through all of his pictures of you, and his finger began to itch with the need to call you. 

Through blurry and clouded eyes he located your contact, a breath hitching in his throat when he clicked the call button. 

With each unanswered ring he pinched his wrist, willing himself to wake up and discover this was all just some horrible nightmare, that he would just roll over and see you curled up next to him, warm, and sweet, and perfect. So fucking perfect. 

“You’ve reached y/n. Sorry I can’t get to the phone, leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Thanks” 

But it’s not his nightmare that got him here, it’s his mistake. 

“Y/n,” he croaked, his voice hoarse and scratchy as he hasn’t used it much in the past couple of days. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore, I miss you and I’m sorry. I-” his heart was pounding and his intoxication numbed him from the feeling of  the hot tears that streamed down his face as he continued. “M’selfish baby. I’m so selfish and I was talking out of my ass that night, of course you’re not leeching. That’s fucking ridiculous, you couldn’t be, I give you nothing compared to what you give me. I just don’t know how to admit I’m wrong and the money is bullshit, it doesn’t matter, we could both live without it.”  his chest felt tight as he took a large gulp of air. “I-I can’t live without you, really I don’t think I can. I need you and I love you. I love you so much. Just please come home to me, please baby. I need you with me, and I want to fucking give you the world and I know you don’t need me to give it to you. I want to. I just-I want to give you everything, anything. You can have it all. It’s yours. I’m yours, alwa-”  his pleads were cut off by the dial tone. 

“Always.” he repeated, staring at the black screen. 

pt. 2