#also too scared to actually tag wtnv for this

[nightly-nightcat]

day 75 - welcome to nightcat or whatever

[the-gay-cryptid]

I Am In Need Of Friendship

Homies, I am but a socially awkward girl who has no idea how to make friends outside of forced social settings, so instead of stressing over how to politely not be creepy in trying to talk to people online, I’ll just be flat out honest. I am a lonely person. It’s not a bad thing per se, and I’m an introverted person and all, but I still like meeting new people and making friends. I love hearing about your experiences and your ideas and your problems. I love learning about people because each individual person on this planet is unique and has something to share.

So, to get to the point, I want to make friends. I’ve never really had online friends, seeing as I was raised on a constant fear that everyone online who wasn’t my family or irl friend was a creepy man in his forties who wanted to molest me. I kinda feel like I’ve missed out. I don’t live in a small town or anything, but there’s no one my age in my neighborhood and it’s not safe for me to just drive to the city on my own to meet people. It’s kinda shitty and shady there.

I love interacting online because I don’t have to be face to face. People don’t get to see how I stumble over every word, how I laugh at stupid shit because I’m scared they already think i’m stupid. I can pretend I don’t have anxiety, or at least I can play it off in a way that implies I don’t mind it. I think everyone does that though, puts up a bit of a persona online. I’m never totally dishonest, not really (though, admittedly, no one actually calls me Allie. I’m just uncomfortable giving out my real name.) It’s just easier to edit how I say things. Make myself sound nicer, more confident, smarter.

I’m getting off track though. I’m making this post as a sort of invitation. If you’ve been watching my blog and were too scared to interact, then, first of all, holy shit, that is so flattering. Second, I promise you don’t have to be scared. I completely understand anxiety about talking to someone, even online, but I can promise you that I won’t be annoyed or creeped out. I’d actually love it.

If you just want to talk to me about some shared interest, then still please message me. I just want to make friends.

Some just general stuff about me:

I go by Allie online, I’m seventeen, I love reading and writing, and I’m really really gay.

I’m also super into podcasts like WTNV, EOS 10 (so psyched for season 3), The Penumbra Podcast, etc. I love to bake, my favorite thing to make is meringue cookies, but since they’re so temperamental, I usually make sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies. I don’t watch a lot of TV, but I practically live off of YouTube and Netflix, though I don’t really have a favorite show.

I’m going to tag more of my interests, so if you want to talk about them, hit me up. Love all of you!

[mewtarot]

New deck!

So my WTNV deck came in today and I did an interview spread with it already (that i will reblog the script for in a minute).

This deck has a very different personality than my Pokemon deck, I can already tell.

A summary of the deck's answers follows.

The first cluster:

The deck's "most prominent characteristic" (which i summarized to "tendencies" and its strengths are the Five and Three of Pentacles, both of which are more about loss than gain. However the Five (answering about its tendencies) speaks of loyalty through adversity. Its strength, described by the Three of Pentacles, is either in having grand ideas, or balancing those dreams with bitter reality. Similarly, perhaps, this deck likes to give information on new (financial) opportunities (as represented by the Page of Pentacles).

On the other side of the fence, both what the deck claims to be bad at and what it dislikes doing, were both answered with Wands. The deck says it's not good at keeping up with rapid change (the Eight of Wands), or perhaps it doesn't do well at keeping up with rapid-fire questions. Also it doesn't like to fight to be listened to (the Seven of Wands) so if I'm not going to listen to its advice I shouldn't be doing a reading with this deck. That's solid and useful information.

The second cluster featured the deck's opinions towards me.

The first card in this cluster asked the deck what it thought of me, and the answer was The King of Swords. I took a while to puzzle this out, because the King of Swords is stricter than I think I am, and more confident/complete than I feel, but I finally realized the deck was describing me as "rulebound" to a fault. I rely too much on the booklet and I'll need to be more intuitive to understand readings from this deck, or at the very least, I need to read between the lines to find the answer. (this also affected my interpretation of the Five of Pentacles as describing loyalty in context, rather than it's usual base meaning of financial loss)

When asking what the deck thinks I need to learn and how I need to learn it, the answer was another pair of Pentacles: The Ace, indicating that I need to take advantage of opportunities as they open up, and the Knight (incidentally, Carlos), indicating that I can learn to do so by having a consistent and dependable work ethic.

The final card in this cluster asked what is one thing the deck would ask of me. This produced the first major arcana card from this deck: The Wheel of Fortune. As far as I can tell, it is asking me to, despite normal fluctuations in temperament/attitude, to always come back toward some sort of balance rather than changing too much. (I'm still working this one out tbh)

Finally, the last two cards ask important and direct questions.

The first such question is: what is the likely outcome of our relationship?

The deck answered with The King of Wands. I was really worried about this answer because the card in this deck, is Kevin, and the card, very appropriately to the character, is bloody and implies an off-camera gruesome scene. However, looking at the actual card description, the King of Wands describes enthusiasm and infectious cheer. So we'll have an enthusiastic and friendly relationship, but it may also scare people who aren't in that relationship. That's... not terrible really.

And the most important question: do you want to work with me? The World. That's not only a yes, it's a yes with an undercurrent of "always".

so I've got a loyal deck that wants to be encouraging and listened to and who wants to work with me.

I'm already reciprocating. I think I love this deck too.

(much delayed edit: the interview spread was designed by @moondustandstarshine who wanted to see the results of their spread if people used it. i did reblog the original post about the spread right after making this post initially but didn't notice the "please tag me" until i referenced the post again to interview another new deck)