#also too bad that the last and only time we went a couple years ago/it was a bad experience tbh for several reasons

[sp00kypumpkaboo]

I miss the thanksgivings we used to have where we’d go to my Abuelita’s and cook/eat a bunch of nicaragüense food. I miss eating indio viejo, nacatamals, vaho, vigorón, yuca, etc. I’d rather have than than a turkey dinner :/

[sweetteainthesummerx]

|◁ II ▷| down bad ! |◁ II ▷|

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

nhl masterlist !

pairing: quinn hughes x famous singer! reader

warnings: fluff, smut is implied but not graphic!! use of y/n.

summary: your sister sends you an article of you and quinn being absolutely down bad for each other...

word count: 2.4 k

notes: saw one too many edits of my handsome boy on TikTok and this is the consequence :) also, this is sort of based off of taylor swift and travis kelce. enjoy!

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

you're finishing up in the studio, just done tweaking one of your last songs on your new album when your phone dings! with a notification.

it's your sister, who sends a trail of emojis that don't really make sense and a link.

you press on it, confused and assuming it's something she wants for her birthday that's coming up soon.

instead it's an article that reads, TOP TEN FAN FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF NHL AND THE MUSIC INDUSTRY'S ROYAL COUPLE.

you laugh, because the cover photo is one of you and quinn from last year when you took him as your plus one to the grammy's. you have to admit, you both look really good, and so, so in love.

so you nestle into your chair to read it.

TOP TEN FAN FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF NHL AND THE MUSIC INDUSTRY'S ROYAL COUPLE

one of Hollywood's up and comings, y/n l/n and quinn hughes of canucks and nhl fame have been dating for over three years, and have been public for two. we have complied a list of fan favourite moments of the couple over the span of their relationship that show their deep (and public) affection and love for each other

10. 2023 Grammy's Award Ceremony

picture: you are wearing a light blue floor length gown, hair loose and curled. your makeup is simple and glowy. quinn stands next to you, in a clean, slate grey suit with a hand wrapped around your hip, fingers nestled in the dip of your hipbone.

the award ceremony for the grammy's - where y/n won best album for the second year in a row - was when the famous couple first went public officially, not counting the many paparazzi pictures taken in both vancouver and Los Angeles.

sources show that the two could hardly keep their hands off of each other. they were seen kissing multiple times through out the night.

it was true, quinn had been extra handsy that night, and had all but ripped that dress off of you when you got back to the hotel. you sigh at the memory, stomach warm and a little achy. you can't wait for him to come back from the roadie he left for only two days ago.

9. y/n's tiktoks

despite their massive success in their respective industries, it is easy to forget that they are also part of gen z. y/n's TikTok page features fashion, her music and most popular of all, her boyfriend. here are only some of her most viewed and liked videos:

video one: you smile into the camera, fluffing your hair in a close shot. the subtitles read: fit check with my bf! quinn pulls you against him by your waist, kissing your face over and over as you laugh, pushing at his chest. over the song, you tell him to let go so you can show your outfits. he lets go reluctantly but holds your hand, spinning you around to show off your sundress. then he grabs you and dips you low, hands dangerously close to your ass, as you giggle into his cheek.

video two: the video is taken by one of your friends who took your phone. she's on the couch and you and quinn are in the kitchen cooking for the small get together in your vancouver apartment. you lean up to smile at him, and he bumps his nose with yours. some trending love song plays in the back.

you flush at the comments gushing about how he looks at you, the height difference and how cute you guys are. there's something so sweet at seeing the two of you from an outsiders perspective.

8. quinn knowing y/n's entire discography

during media days, one interview has elias petterson and quinn hughes guessing songs and the artists. the journalist managed to sneak at least four of y/n's songs in, quinn getting all four correct, with the full name of the song, name of artist and then album, all under 10 seconds of the song playing. now that's a supportive boyfriend!

you watch the video linked, your boyfriend sweaty and hair wet. the media person is impressed, and quinn just shrugs bashfully and offers a crooked smile. you look at the time stamp and bite a grin: it's from before you guys went public. no wonder all of your fans say you guys were obvious.

7. quinn hughes: nhl player and personal bodyguard

fame in hollywood forces many in the industry to have body guards, and y/n is not exempt. for many years before she started dating the canuck's defensemen, she's had many bodyguards following her around. now, it seems like her boyfriend has taken over that job.

video: your body guard, john moves to open the limo door as you and quinn arrive to an event, but your boyfriend crosses from his side of the car to open it himself, patting john on the shoulder and gently pushing him from the entrance and helping you out himself. he helps you balance on your heels as you stand and wave at the cameras, one hand on your waist as he maneuvers you to the other side of the sidewalk so he can block you from the cars. he keeps your hand cradled in his, his other arm around your waist as he shoulders through the paparazzi.

quinn looks so attractive and so masculine in this video. you've never had boyfriends who took princess treatment so seriously, but quinn has always been a defender, on ice and off. it was a little awkward and it took a long a while for him to get you, but ever since he had you, he's made sure he tried his very best to keep and protect you.

6. getaway in hawaii

although the couple hasn't had any announcement of engagement yet, early last year they were sighted in hawaii on a trip eerily like a honeymoon: here are some pictures.

picture one: you're in a tiny pink bikini and he's in board shorts. he's taken off his hat to give to you, and you're pressing on a pair of your too-small sunglasses onto his face while both of you laugh.

picture two: the two of you are standing in the water up to your calves. he's got his fingers tangled in the strings of your bikini bottoms, and yours are on his chest as the two of you look into the horizon.

picture three: quinn has you balanced on his shoulder, smiling as you clutch at his back. one of his forearms is possessively covering your ass from the camera, and his other hand is wrapped fully around your ankle to give you a semblance of balance.

you still smile every time you think of that trip, afternoons playing in the water, romantic dinners and nights with his head between your legs, your fingers tangled in his hair. you silently remind yourself to book a vacation back there the next time both of you are free.

5. the NHL award ceremony

the recent NHL award ceremony when quinn hughes received the James Norris award for his skills as a defenceman gave us another peek into y/n's relationship with hughes family.

video one: you're sitting between quinn and luke in your pretty dark blue gown. your hair is pulled back from your face the way quinn likes. he's got an arm thrown over the back of the seat, fingers rubbing your shoulder as you talk to Luke about his hair routine. quinn murmurs something the camera can't catch into your ear and you laugh, tucking your hand into the his that's resting on his lap. he leans back, stretching his legs as you absentmindedly rub his knee, leaning over his brothers to talk to his mom.

video two: his name is called, and you stand with him, clapping loudly. he hugs you first, and you press a kiss into the corner of his lip, but he plants a firm, real one on yours. your manicured, white nails contrast against the black expanse of his suit and broad back. you push him gently towards luke. when he's finished hugging everyone and comes back down the aisle, you quickly fix his tie and smooth down his lapels. he kisses your cheek again and goes down to the stage.

photo three: the trophy is in the middle, the whole family wrapped together. you're tucked between ellen, the older woman has an arm around your waist and your boyfriend's got is arm slung across you shoulders on you other side, everyone smiling big for the camera.

you still remember ellen and jim insisting that you get in the photo, because "you're practically family anyways," and "it's any day now" that their son proposes to you. the photo is on their fridge, to this day.

4. quinn's y/n shirt

another video from y/n's tiktok. during the christmas season, she spent the holidays with the hughes family. her future brother in law (hopefully), jack hughes got quinn a pretty special present.

video: jack is holding the camera, and it pans to you and quinn. your holding a giant sushi stuffed toy (long story) from luke on your lap as you sit next to your boyfriend.

"here," he extends a hand holding a bag to his older brother.

Quinn smiles in thanks and digs into it, retrieving shirt. but it's no ordinary shirt. it's one of those old, retro looking ones with your face blown out all over it.

pictures from red carpets, your album covers, and in gaudy, shadowy text, it reads: IF LOST, RETURN TO Y/N L/N.

Luke cackles as you bury your face in quinn's shoulder. he's letting out a deep, belly laugh as his parents smile and take pictures of it when he holds it out.

he immediately pulls off his sweatshirt and tugs the shirt on. it fits a little tight.

"merry christmas!" jack yells as he gives you a high-five.

he still wears that stupid shirt around the apartment, just because he knows you like the fit and your face plastered all over his chest.

3. y/n's songs about her boyfriend

through many new releases, we have determined a list of songs about quinn from her new album, lover.

sweet nothing

paper rings

lover

daylight

I think he knows

afterglow

good looking

wow, you think. these people must not have lives if they're rummaging through your digital footprint and media presence with your boyfriend just to link them with your songs.

2. quinn's interview

since the couple has gone public, y/n has been seen at Canuck's games with family and friends. since she's from vancouver, born and raised, she is passionate about hockey and fits right in.

video one: the jumbotron flashes your face an name; you're wearing quinn's canucks jersey, hair loose. you smile and flutter your fingers at the crowd that's going crazy. one the ice, quinn's teammates jostle and holler at him, and you blow him a kiss. he pretends to catch it, and the screaming in the stadium reaches a new level as the screen pans to him: he's pink and all smiley.

video two: the ref makes a call and you stand, throwing your hands up in the air, exasperated. you huff, sitting back down with your head in your hands. your friends watch on with disappointment, and the three of you let out complains.

video three: quinn grins while looking off camera in the middle of an interview, and the journalist laughs.

"your girl?" he asks, and quinn nods shyly.

"yeah, it's real nice to see her here supporting. I mean, she's really busy too with her tours, but it's nice to have her on my turf."

"I saw! she got really riled up for the penalty during the second period. she's wearing your jersey as well."

"yeah," he scratches his neck, scrunching his nose to hide the big ass smile on his face, "she looks great, eh?"

"glad to see her in her hometown, too."

"right. yeah, I love her so much."

you snicker at how love sick he looks, because early on in the relationship he followed you around like a clingy, lost puppy. he still does sometimes after a roadie or one of your tours. you love it.

1. karma is the guy on the rink, coming straight home to me

the internet broke when y/n changed one of the songs on her song list for her tour last year at rogers arena in vancouver: instead of "karma is the guy on the screen, coming straight home to me", which is a reference to her ex, she changes it to better fix her new romance.

video: you dance through the song, your backup dancers clueless as you reach the line.

"karma is the guy on the rink, comin' straight home to me!" your voice breaks a little in a giggle at the end, your dancers shocked laughter and gasps visible from their faces that even an iPhone camera from 25 meters away can catch.

video two: quinn's in the tent with your parents and some of his teammates and their girlfriends, all of them are vibing to the music and dancing, most holding drinks in their hands.

when the line hits the speakers, everyone is screaming so loud and filming him, and he blushes so red that it spreads to his ears and neck, even in the dim light. his boys are slapping his back, and your dad gives him a high-five. he just smiles at you, dopey and deliriously happy in his shirt of your face and the 20 friendship bracelets your fans had made for him.

you remember that show perfectly, and the night after even better. you barely got any sleep because of his attentions, and your makeup artists spent nearly half an hour covering up the bruises on your neck and chest the next morning.

all in all, we can come to the conclusion that quinn hughes and y/n l/n are completely down bad for each other, like she teased in the song list of her unreleased album. we only hope for good things in the future for this famous couple!

you smile at the closing statement, sending it to quinn to read later in his hotel room.

he facetimes you that night, hair wet and eyes sleepy.

"that article was absolutely right. I am so down bad for you." he tells you seriously, with the promise of lots of love when he comes straight home to you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.

[city-tickles]

Two Tickle Sessions In One Day!

Hi!

It's been a while but I hope you are doing well. I am still on break from posting clips or requests but I wanted to let you know about my recent sessions.

A month ago I was in one of those bad tickle moods. One of those moods where it was all you could think about and the rush of getting tickled or tickling someone was intense. I don't get these moods often and usually when I do, I don't like it because the last couple of times that has happened, I've received bad news about someone I care about, so it also makes me a little anxious when I get that way. Thankfully, it did not happen this time.

I needed to get the mood out but there was no one in the area to session with. Since no one was available, I decided to check out two parties that I have not been to in years. One M/M party and one Female Foot Party.

When it comes to M/M, I am 100% lee and it is something that does not give me much if any arousal. It's just tickling, and I can appreciate it. I'm sure I'd appreciate it more if it could "get me there" but I've seen enough clips and done sessions, and it usually doesn't. I also rarely do M/M because I have to be in a mood for it. This time, I was in a big mood for it, so I decided to go.

I've spoken about the M/M party in the past. Last time I went about 8 years ago, I just wasn't comfortable or ready to be there and it seemed like the owner took umbrage with that when I tried to leave. I figured a lot of time has passed and I have gained more experience, so hopefully things would be fine. I explain why I wanted to go to the party, and I was allowed to go.

I entered the party, and as a cis-identifying male, it's a little overwhelming at first. Action (Everyone is clothed) is everywhere right in front of you, but everyone is also very nice and doing their thing. I like to give people space, but there was no space to go, so I was just watching everything go down lol.

While waiting, I was introduced to a guy, who had grey hair and , who was also into tickling and we began talking. At first, the convo was small talk, but then we realized we knew each other from a previous meeting, which made things easier. After some talking, he asked what I was here for and when it comes to males, I am strictly a lee, so I told him I wanted to be tickled. Luckily, a massage table opened up and was cleaned off and ready to be used. We asked the table owner, who was a tall, slender man with grey hair and facial hair, if we could use it. Lucky or not lucky for me, we were allowed but the table owner was also into tickling. They asked me if he could join in and I figured why not?

I laid on the table and decided not to be bound because sometimes I stay still anyway. And before I know it, I have two lers all over me, testing out my spots and trying to find where I am most ticklish. They would glide their fingers all over my sides, under my arms, my tummy, my thighs and of course, my feet while I laughed and didn't move around too much. It was extra sensitive because 1. With the massage chair, I'm mostly looking upwards and can only see the ceiling. And 2. I'm getting teasing from all angles! The two very skilled lers keep saying things like, "Oh, he's real ticklish!" "I think he likes it!" While others at the party are watching and saying things like, "I think he doesn't want it to stop" and "He's having a lot of fun now"

With two lers on me, I never had time to have one spot make me off the wall ticklish because it was always changing. Sometimes it was their fingers lightly tickling my stomach that was the most intense. Other times, it was harder touches on my feet by one of the lers. Sometimes it was an attack under my arms. There were a lot of different moments during the 20-30 minutes of tickling that just kept making me laugh hysterically. I do know at one point, a hairbrush was used because I felt it and that always felt more surprising than ticklish. The other interesting part about having two lers on your feet were both styles were different. One was lighter and the other was harder, but both were effective!

(I couldn't find a MM/M gif)

After my time was done, I thanked them for the session and decided to wrap up since the party was coming to an end anyway. It was time to go to the next party.

This party, which I also had low hopes for, runs all the time in NYC and it is pay-to-play. I was that down bad, that I was willing to do it this evening lol. I went in with very low expectations and the reminder that if the first few moments are bad, I can just leave.

When I got there, it took forever for them to let me in, which already set my expectations to low. Despite this, I walked in and heard laughter already. Someone was getting tickled under the sheets, so I knew I wasn't the only tickler in the area. The girls that I saw in there were nice and chill to talk to for the most part. Some were more personable, while others just wanted to make their money, which I am not upset about. They're not there to be my friend.

The first lee was a tiny girl with red hair, and was ticklish but not that reactionary. I don't think she was ticklish on her feet at all, but I would always ask if it's okay to tickle elsewhere. Thankfully it was, and her upperbody, especially her arms, were her weakspot. She did not seem into it in the slightest, so I tried not to overdo it.

The second lee was this tall, black girl, with long hair and very nice to talk to. She wasn't sure how ticklish she could be, so I would tested some of her spots. Her feet were tolerable, her knees were very sensitive, and under her arms, she was almost unable to do!

I brought some tools that I didn't bring out at the M/M party (my bag at that party was all the way on the other side I just didn't want to bother with it) I ran an ostrich feather up and down her soles and her legs, which felt more relaxing to her. Then, I brought out TicklingDuck's device vibrating device.

As the device touched her soles, she would laugh hard, squirm around, cover her mouth, and was genuinely shocked at something being so ticklish on her. I asked if I could use the device on her knees and she went "Oh no!" and let me do it anyway, which I didn't do for long because she couldn't handle it.

The third lee was another redhead, who was also a nice person to talk to and wearing boots and long socks. I tickled her through the socks first, which made her giggle a bit, before taking them off and scribbling on her toes and soles so more. Her feet were also moderately ticklish, so I asked if I could tickle other parts of her body. Her weakspot was the ribcage and made any other spot look like a 1 compared to them! I spent most of my time on her feet since the ribcage was so intense, but we did play a few games. I would tell her if she could let me tickle there for 10 seconds, she would get a reward, which would be a foot massage or other foot worship. She agreed and barely opened up her arms until I scribbled in there and teased her further, saying "You gotta let me get in there or I'm gonna increase the time" She opened up her ribs and it was the longest 10 seconds of her life. Afterwards, I would congratulate her for making it through and doing such a good job.

After we were finished, I was ready to go since I had an obligation to get to later in the evening, but another taller woman approached me and asked me if I like tickling. She mentioned that she liked tickling to and wanted to know if I wanted to session. I was skeptical at first, because it felt like a money-grab, but I figured I'm already here so why not?

Best decision I made at that party. I started by spider tickling all the way up from her feet to legs, to her sides, across her tummy, back to her ribs, and of course under her arms. This woman was genuinely ticklish everywhere and was a lot of fun to play with. I would caress her thighs and tease like I'm about to tickle there, only to sneak attack and tickle her tummy. I brought out the TicklingDuck device again and we played another counting game to see how long she could last without moving, and I made sure to count the longest 30 seconds I could, running my fingers all across her tummy and under hear arms while she laughed her head off underneath the covers. The last thing I did to her, was bring out the pair of stocks that just arrived. I was itching to try them on someone and she was so excited to see stocks. We locked her bare feet and the stocks and I ran my fingers all across her soles and under her toes, while she was unable to get away or pull them out. While these sessions lasted 10 minutes, this one was definitely longer and we both knew it. After she was done, she complimented my ler skills, saying most male lers are rough, but I was very gentle with her, but also devastating, which I took as a big compliment.

Before I left, I had one request for her. I had a hard time locking the stocks on myself at my home, but when I did, they were not very comfortable. I asked if she could test the stocks out on me to see how good they were. She obliged and got my feet in the stocks. Once I was locked in, she began running her nails across my soles, which was one of the more intense tickles I got all night! I laughed hard and and was unable to do anything else, my feet were trapped and that definitely made the tickling worse! She would tease me and say things like "Aww! Is someone ticklish?" And "Now who's ticklish" until I had to stop her because I really had to get going. I thanked her for the fun time and planned to come back in the future.

Overall, it was a great day of tickles and satisfied my ler and lee moods!

[cas-backwards-tie]

Wonderstruck

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Ex!Reader

Summary: Simon Riley finally takes it upon himself to check up on his childhood best friend and ex lover. He's been torturing himself reminiscing on your relationship and what went wrong for years now. Little does he know... you're in the same boat. Having seen someone today you swore was Simon on your way to work, you too, reflect on the past.

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, Stalking(?),

Mentions of: Drinking, Smoking, Motorcycle Riding

A/N: I don't know why but I constantly am getting inspired by certain songs, or am reminded of certain characters, and all the lyrics were just screaming childhood best friends to estranged lovers, right person wrong time Simon Riley. Nevertheless, if you'd love to listen to some versions of the song which inspired me, here we are! Line divider credit: @saradika-graphics and I'd also love to thank @penelopepine for helping me with the ending <3

He knew it was a bad idea as soon as it'd crossed his mind, yet somehow he couldn't rid himself of it time and time again. That's how he found himself here; watching you cross the street, he can't help but notice the vintage band t-shirt you have on, frayed at the edges with the little strings of the hem coming undone that you've refused to cut off. In you hands you clutch a new phone, no doubt an upgrade from the last one he'd seen you with- though it's been a while.

As you mindlessly tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he can't help the way his insides churn. You were always effortlessly beautiful; you never had to try for anything. Even now, the way you can walk across the busy cobblestone side streets of London in high heels without seemingly second-guessing yourself, body language still poised on guard and ready in case anyone tries anything, just like he'd taught you.

It's clear from your outfit and the lipstick you’re donning that you're attempting to sway the officials at work. Maybe trying for that promotion you’d always been talking about, but never had the gumption to make today the day. What’s different about today, he wonders. You'd always been a go-getter, and truthfully, it was something Simon admired about you. Even in the moments where he'd resented it the most, the constant pestering and prodding at him in an attempt to get him to move and drag him out of the holes his dug himself into...

Where would he be now if only he listened?

What if you knew better?

He couldn't deny that the thoughts kept him up at night while he was away. Though, admittedly, more often than not it was the string of random memories that he’d get glimpses of during the day. It’d always be at the worst times, too. Two weeks ago in Berlin he’d been clapping Kyle on the back, hoping he’ll get it together as he stumbled out the pub. While Soap had the camaraderie to slug half his mate’s weight over his broad shoulders, Simon found himself unable to help as his eyes were drawn in by a couple a few paces down the block.

“Bollocks!” He’d shouted out in frustration. Double-checking himself, he didn’t have a spare cap on him, and he knew he sure as hell didn’t bring an umbrella on your little last minute ‘trip’. Not that he’d really call walking down to the local Tesco for snacks late one summer evening a trip. ‘It’ll be an adventure! Just think of it like that.’ You’d persuaded him.

“What? Are you going to melt?” He hears you joke. As his brown eyes land on your face when you turn to meet his gaze, a few steps ahead of him down the road, he can’t help the smile that breaks out across his lips upon your laughter. Sure, you may both be a little drunk after spending the evening in and having a drink or two. But it doesn’t change the way he feels about you, if anything, it makes him even more keenly aware of the way you affect him.

“Maybe. Who knows?” He teases in responses, tugging his jacket up and over his head to shield himself from the cool summer rain. Despite the time, now he’ll most likely need a shower when you get home. As he jogs to catch up and bring you under his little makeshift cocoon, you do the unexpected.

It was you, of course… he should’ve known better, always testing him, pushing him. With a gentle drop of the plastic bag full of snacks upon the side of the road you’d been strolling down, he watches as you run into the empty street. The streetlights illuminate you in a hazy orangey-yellow light as you begin to spin and twirl, dancing in the street.

With a shake of his head, he’s left stunned once again by the vast difference of your personalities. Your jeans and t-shirt are starting to get damp and discolored, and there’s a taunting, displeased remark sitting on his tongue just waiting to be made. It’s the utter joyous smile on your face as you tip your head back and relinquish yourself to your fate that leaves him wonderstruck, he thinks.

“Come on, Simon!” You beckon, finally meeting his gaze once again with that familiar carefree, hopeful look behind your irises. With an outstretched hand, he knows he can’t deny you this… and really, there’s something inside him that tells him he doesn’t want to, either.

“It’s her, innit?” He hears his Captain’s voice call over his shoulder. Pulled from his memories, Simon dismisses Price with a nonchalant grunt. As the old man tries to place a hand on his shoulder he dodges it, realizing he’s been watching the couple for longer than he’d thought. With Soap and Gaz almost to the end of the block, Simon sighs before shrugging his shoulders to right his jacket and head off in their direction for backup.

That was a time when your playfulness been more easily taken and accepted without question. No fighting, no push back, resentments… maybe that was it: he’d stopped going with the flow. He’d stopped accepting the punches and started dodging and weaving your advances at fixing things and picking up where he left you. Because while it’s too late now, he’s finally realized it for what it is: he left you in the dark, he’s the one who pushed you away, closed himself off.

That night he’d curled up in the temporary bed he’d been assigned, more memories continued to consume him. The way you’d effortlessly ease his worries on nights he’d come home stressed, feathers ruffled from whatever petty drama went on during the day. Whether it was something the guys said that stuck with him, or something he couldn’t get out of his mind when he came back from deployment. Your kisses always seemed to be the cure, your love… or maybe it was just… you.

“You know furrowing your brows like that will cause wrinkles,” you inform him, reaching out to run gentle fingers over his bunched skin.

A grunt of acknowledgment leaves his lips. “More for me to worry about, hm?” While it’s all he says, his eyes are searching over your composure.

“No,” it leaves your lips without thought, “just something to think about, be mindful of. If you’re not upset, then why furrow them?” Voice quiet in the moonlit apartment, your fingers smooth out his brows gently as you admire him. “I read something the other day about how it’s possible our body informs our mental state. If you’re tensing all the time, it won’t help your stress, Si.”

He simply hums in response, doing nothing to stop you as you ghost your lips over his for a moment before planting a loving chaste kiss to his. While big and wide warm hands find the exposed bit of skin between the hem of your sleeping pants and the shirt you wear, it’s the unexpected cool sensation that elicits a muffled gasp. Your much smaller hands are sneaking up underneath his sweatshirt to explore his abdomen, caressing him like he were made of soft silk. Your lips meet again for a chaste kiss.

Then it’s turning into something more; you have to take it slow, your lips dancing against one another, his hand rubbing your back to let you know it’s alright. As you begin to run out of breath, it’s only when you pull away, lashes fluttering against his skin that you ask him. “You know I’d love you even with wrinkles, right?”

Taken aback, he can’t help but stare. Unsure how to respond or what to do, his lips part in search of words. “Is that so?” He finally questions, hand giving your side a soft squeeze.

“My favorite boy… I love you to the moon and back… scars and all. I always have, and I always will, Simon,” you whisper, ghosting his lips again before planting one on him, “I just hope you know that.”

And at the time, he swore he did. It’s odd, really, and he wouldn’t lie to himself about it either. Simon tried dating after you, he tried hooking up, he tried it all… but it never felt right. As many times as he replays the memory, he can never get past the feeling of home. With you, it felt like home. You never made him feel expendable, or worry of the abandonment he knew would inevitably come.

For years afterward he blamed you, he saw it as your fault that you left, you abandoned him… when, maybe, really it’s finally time he admits it was him. He made it a self-fulfilling prophecy, and there was nothing you could do.

It's on your way home from work that you see them; while waiting for the bus, there's a playground in the park a few meters away. Really, the idea that human nature is predictable is always laughable at first, but only after watching people and stepping back to become an observer you've noticed from time to time that... it's more than true. Even from a distance, the children in the park look happy... but that's not what catches your eye. There's a blonde boy, and a girl, much like yourself when you were younger, playing what you can only assume is something halfway between hide and seek and tag, considering the playground offers more space and obstacles than hiding spots.

Perhaps it's the joyous looks on their little faces, or the way they unabashedly play, carefree and unaware of the adult worries and burdens the world hangs above their heads, just waiting any day to drop upon their shoulders unexpectedly. However, you can't help but reminisce on the ways you'd spent your childhood playing games much like the one the children are playing in the distance with a boy, very similar to the one before you, loving life, content, happy, simply aspiring to be the best at finding your ultimate hiding spot.

The soft squeak of the wheels coming to a halt before you and the mechanical release of air as the doors open brings your attention back to the present. Before you know it, you're on the bus, unconsciously taking a seat along the windows, hoping, just maybe you'll catch a glimpse of them as the bus drives down the road down its route. Though as you pass, the sun is beginning to set in the distance, the children departing the playground their separate ways as dusk begins to take its toll and curfew sets in place. The whole time you'd been focused on yourself, it's entirely possible that your own boy wound up beating you at your own game, finding the best spot and hiding himself away from the rest of the world.

Maybe it's the fact that you could've sworn you'd seen someone that looked almost identical to Simon on your way to work this morning, but memories continue to plague your mind for the first time in months. All the weekends he'd spent over at your house doing aimlessly silly things to fill your time, from science projects, to playing 'warrior' outside, you never felt more alive than the time you two spent together.

"I'll keep ya safe, yeah? Nothin' to worry about," Simon insists, gently guiding you to the side of the vehicle. Despite going out with your friends to the city for dinner, you both were sober. It should be fine, it would be. You'd been with him a million times... how different could it be? He'd run it by you as many times as you'd asked.

You swear it's not a good idea, but you trust him to the ends of the Earth. With a look over your shoulder, his brown eyes are steady, not uncertain in his unwavering gaze as he nods in assurance. Swinging a leg over the seat, you're in front this time. Helmets in place, hands on the clutch and brakes, you make eye contact with Simon once more before he flicks both your visors down. "Ready?" You ask him.

"More than ready, Love," he quips. With a quick shove to the kickstand, balance (with Simon's help of course), and a rev of the engine, you start the motorcycle off slowly. Gloved hands around your waist, he gives you a gentle squeeze.

He was always pushing you out of your comfort zone, that one. It was the first time you'd driven his motorcycle, and while it'd been scary and daunting for the first fifteen minutes, you eventually got used to it and it blossomed into something freeing. You understood then why he likes it, and you'd never been more grateful for someone pushing you out of your bubble. While flashes of all the kisses, caresses, and intimate moments between the two of you start to effervesce, you force yourself to remember the last time you'd seen him.

With a lingering hug, you're hesitant to let him go. Even if you know it's necessary, it's still hard... it always has been. "You'll let me know when you get in, right?" You ask, searching his eyes. They stand out from the black warpaint, his uniform always made him look handsome, even if you couldn't imagine how intimidating seeing his actual attire would be in his enemies position.

A dismissive and irritated grunt meets your ears as he shrugs your hands off. He'd packed quickly, something he's been doing more recently; taking more and more jobs, you've begun worrying for his health, not that he'd talk about it, of course. "If I 'ave time."

While you weren't able to get all the details on this excursion, you did manage to get that it was essentially a 'clean-up' for him. He had to go in and make sure that the hostages they'd had a lead on were all rescued and no one was left behind, no assailants or informants lingering or hiding. You've known that his job is hard on him. Losing people can't be easy, especially when you feel like you could've done things differently and changed the ending to their stories. Yet, you also know that throwing yourself into work the way he's been doing without talking to anyone, simply managing to pass debrief counseling by whatever meter their measuring is... not working. Not anymore, at least.

"You're running from this! You won't even answ-" you shout, gesticulating as you do everything in your power to keep the anger and worry that's tightly wound wrapped up in your gut under control, not to let anymore of it seep out than already has.

"An' you're one to talk?! You don't get to interrogate me," he argues, rounding the couch to get closer. The dark circles under his eyes scream volumes, even if he's unwilling to acknowledge whatever's going on for him. "I deal with that enough in my line o' work. Don't-"

"Simon," you say, tone holding that familiar warning tone.

You'd gotten home safely and were able to change and make something to eat. The feelings haven't left the cavity of your chest, still lingering there, the way he always does. He may be 'Ghost' on the field, yet he still haunts your memories, always making you question whether or not you did the right thing. What if only you'd done more? What if you hadn't pushed him so much? It wasn't always in a bad way, either, in fact, most of the time you'd find yourself chuckling randomly at some inside joke only the two of you share, or something he'd find funny. The stolen sweaters and hoodies you know for a fact long ago washed away his scent. Even if you swear sometimes that you can smell the faint odor of cigarettes he used to smoke. In the city when you're out with the girls you'd find yourself fondly inhaling the smell whenever a stranger would be smoking one nearby.

You'd cursed him: Simon Riley. Yet, the aching inside you he left often made you feel like he there's some sense of closure he never fully gave you. The SAS would tell you that he'd get your letters, even if you stopped writing years ago a little while after the split. You never got a response, and you never really expected one. Simon never really was one for letter writing. It was the only way you felt like you could get that closure, that part of your life done with. Ultimately, it did help you move on in some way.

A sigh tumbles past your lips as you change the channel on the television, unsure what you really feel like watching. A reality comedy show is on, something of a local prank show. It wasn't the best show, really, but it's one you used to watch a lot as a kid, and thus, another reminder of him. This one makes you smile, nonetheless. It's a good memory; nostalgia envelopes you in the way that makes you crave times that felt easier. Just when you wrap yourself in your fuzzy blanket, there's a soft rapt at the door.

Heart accelerating, eyes widening slightly, you slowly rise from the couch. The television volume isn't on loud, and while there may be light coming from it to inform a stranger you're home, that isn't enough to say that you're alone. With slow and cautious steps, you approach the door, careful to check the window near the door from a vantage point you're unseen. It's a man in a black hoodie. Panic sets in and you turn to skillfully head back toward the couch in search of your phone with quiet and quick steps. That's when it strikes you.

With all pretenses abandoned, you rush to the door and fling it open, lips parted in shock and awe. "Simon?" Searching and attempting to scan the partially shielded face, you're able to see tufts of blonde hair lit from the porch light.

"I know you've no reason to-" he starts, hands removing themselves from his hoodie's pocket, "but please let me come in and explain."

"You came back," you whisper. It's more for yourself than him, and whether it's out of bewilderment, intuitive knowing, or a premonition; you were right.

As he takes a step forward and reaches out for you with shaky hands produced from the familiar black pocket of his hoodie, you don't retract. Slow and tentative movements on both ends, he grabs ahold of one hand, thumb consciously skirting back and forth repeatedly in a form of grounding and seeking comfort. "You were right," his deep voice rasps.

Your hand cautiously seeks his cheek beneath the shield of his hood. Fully expecting to meet the spandex material of his balaclava, you're surprised by the warmth of his skin underneath your gentle touch. Wrist pushing against the cotton hood, it gives way, revealing his face. Searching his deep brown eyes for any sign he's genuine... you're met with truth.

With a weak nod you turn, leaving the door to shut softly behind the two of you.

~~~~~~~

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

[metaliczz]

Charles Leclerc smut

In which your boyfriend broke up with you and you go over to Charles' place

You were devastated. 3 long years of relationship and your boyfriend decided to put an end to it. You couldn't stop crying. He had left your house 10 minutes ago, leaving you alone in this awful situation. Tears filled your eyes as you could barely see what was in front of you. You were tired from all the crying, but you couldn't go to bed yet. You were sat down on your couch an the whole situation was far too painful. You needed to see someone. And you desperately knew who that "someone" would be.

You stretched your arm, reaching the coffee table that was in front of you and you grabbed your phone. Wiping the tears away, you dialed your bestfriend Charles' number. You didn't know if he'd be awake by now since it was almost 1am, but you decided to give it a try anyway. On the 3rd ring, he picked up.

"Hey (Y/N), what's up?" Your bestfriend asked. It took you a couple of seconds before answering.

"Can I come over to your place?" You asked as tears started to roll down your cheeks again.

"Always. Is there something wrong?" He said.

"Yeah.

You hung up, quickly put your shoes on and grabbed a jacket. As the front door closed, the pain in your chest started hitting you again. It hurt, so bad, but you still got into your car and made it to Charles'.

-

Three fast and hard knocks made Charles open the door in two seconds. As soon as your eyes met his, you could feel he knew what was going on. He closed the front door and wrapped his arms around you.

"It's him, right?" Your bestfriend asked, looking into your eyes.

"It's over." You said.

Charles joined you in his bed as he got close to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. Your face was buried into him.

-

You had fallen asleep and you woke up at the sound of shuffling besides you. You looked over to your left and there was Charles. He somehow managed to get closer to you. You smiled and looked up at him, his face relaxed and shiny. He was still sleeping and you loved watching him as he did so. Charles looked angelic.

After staring at him for a while, he eventually woke up from his sleep. His eyes met yours quickly, looking into yours before he closed them and rubbed them. He yawned and let out a small groan before finally talking to you.

"Hi." Charles said, giving you a small smile.

"Hey."

"Are you feeling better?" He asked.

"Yeah, I really appreciate you."

"I'm always here. Whenever you need." He said, replacing a strand of your hair that got messed up while you were sleeping.

-

The two of you stayed in bed for a little talking about other things to change your mind from what had happened last night. The more you talked to Charles, the more you realized how badly it should've been him all along. Those 3 years and more should've been spent with him and not your stupid ex.

You stared into his eyes, feeling safe, but also butterflies. You've always felt different around Charles, but this time it was a whole other type of different.

Your bestfriend didn't say anything. He stared at you in return, his arms still wrapped around you, warmth surrounding your bodies. Charles moved one of his hands up to your face. His hand caressed your cheek, cupping it with his hand as his thumb rolled circles on it.

"Why do I feel this way?" You whispered, tons of emotions filling your body up.

"Because we love each other." Charles simply answered still caressing your cheek

Your heart started beating faster. Your eyes could only focus on his lips and your hand tugged at his shirt impatiently. Charles smiled, and pulled your face closer to his. His lips brushed against yours, making you envy him. He gave you a small kiss on the lips before having a whole make out session with you. You rolled over on your back and Charles got on top of you. His kisses trailed down to your neck, leaving hickeys all over it. His hands went all over your body causing you to shiver. Charles went back to kissing you. His heavy breathing made you go crazy, wanting nothing but more of him.

"Charles..."

"What? Did I do something wrong?" He asked suddenly stopping, a worried look on his face.

"No, don't stop. Please. I need you."

"Are you sure?" Charles asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

You answered by tugging at his hair and pulling him closer to you for a kiss. Charles pulled away from the kiss and took his shirt off, throwing it to the ground before getting back to making out with you. His hands trailed on the hem of your shirt, helping you take it off. The two of you took off your pants. You could see how the buldge in Charles' pants was growing, and you loved it.

"You are everything..." Charles said kissing your cheek, then your neck.

Your hands played with his hair. You couldn't wait for him to be inside of you. It's all you wanted. Charles took off his boxers... God was he big. You looked at him, not saying anything. You didn't know if you could take all of it.

"(Y/N), are you feeling okay?"

"I don't know if I'd be able to... take it all." You answered, kind of embarrassed. Your cheeks flushed pink as you kept looking at him.

"I'll go slowly and you tell me if you want me to stop, okay? I would never in my life hurt you, ever."

You nodded in response, biting your lip. Charles took your underwear off and guided his member on the edge of your core. He could feel how wet you were, and you could feel his pre-cum already. The mix of the two of you felt heavenly. Charles slowly put his dick inside of you, making sure you couldn't get hurt. A loud moan escaped from your lips. A wave of warmth flushed through your body as Charles kept whispering in your ear how perfect you are. After a few seconds, you got more used to it. Charles started thrusting in and out of you, each time going a little faster. He felt amazing. He was sweet, passionate and smooth with you. He was so patient. His thrusts got only better. His moans and yours filled the room. Charles' hand got to your clit, gently rubbing it with his fingers. A sharp moan was heard from you, burying your head in the crook of his neck, your arms wrapped around it.

"(Y/N)... I'm close..." Charles moaned as he went faster.

"Me too... keep going. You feel so good."

In a matter of seconds Charles came inside of you, filling you with his warmth and love. You joined in at the same time, letting go of Charles' neck. All of a sudden you got extremely tired. Charles let himself fall besides you on his bed, exhausted. The two of you stayed in silence, thinking about what had just happened.

Charles rolled onto his side, looking at you. You turned your head to face him. He was admiring you, his eyes full of love and care for you. How long had he felt this way for? So many questions ran through your mind but you ignored them. You ignored them because you now realized that the man lying besides you was your only purpose of life. You were ready to drop everything you had for him. At the end, you didn't know why you loved him, but to you, that meant true love. Not knowing why you love someone is the purest kind of love there was, is and ever will be to mankind. His slow blinks proved he was ready to do anything for you.

"I think this is as close to heaven as I'll ever get." He said.

[lucy90712]

Family Christmas- Pedri

A/n: Happy holidays guys. I have a surprise new mini series for new years so get ready

1st December 

The test stared back at me as it laid face down on the bathroom counter while Pedri stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist. We have been sort of trying for a baby but not taking it too seriously by tracking my ovulation or anything so I really wasn't expecting to miss my period only 3 months after coming off my birth control. My period was due 5 days ago and I've had no signs that it will be coming any time soon the only usual symptom I've had is a bit of nausea in the mornings and evenings but that's also a symptom of pregnancy. The thought that I could actually be pregnant has me excited and nervous being a mum is a big change in life a change I know I'm ready for I'm just nervous about doing things wrong. 

"Are you ready to find out?" Pedri asked 

"I'm ready" I replied 

"You don't need to be nervous it's it's not positive we'll just try again it doesn't matter ok" he said 

"I know I've just got my hopes up so if it's not positive I'll be a little disappointed" I said 

"And that's ok but let's not think about that right now" he said 

He kissed my cheek then put his hand on the test waiting for me to do the same so we could flip the test together. I took a deep breath and put my hand next to his then we counted down from three and turned the test over. Staring back at us was two distinct lines just as dark as each other so there's no question I'm definitely pregnant. Without me even noticing tears of joy poured from my eyes which Pedri wiped away before pulling me into the tightest hug. This is the best early Christmas present ever and now we can surprise the rest of our family throughout the holidays. 

~~~~~~~~~~

24th December 

Way before we found out I was pregnant we agreed to host Christmas with Pedri's family which at the time was a great idea but now I'm sort of regretting it. There is so much that goes into hosting so I've been exhausted all week because the first trimester is really taking it out of me so coupled with all the extra things I've been doing I can barely keep my eyes open by 9pm. Pedri has helped as much as he can but he's only been off for the last few days so now here we are finishing wrapping presents on Christmas Eve and I still have some food to prep. 

Usually I do most of the work when wrapping presents as if I don't it will look like a toddler wrapped them in the dark as Pedri doesn't exactly have the eye for wrapping. Under my instruction he did most of the work as then I could just sit there and hold the paper while closing my eyes for a few seconds to get some rest. The main thing we needed to wrap was the things we bought to surprise Pedri's family with the news as they don't know yet. We had our first ultrasound just a few days ago so we added some of the pictures to the little onesie we bought that we customised to have the baby's rough due date on. I can't wait to see their faces a when they find out because it's been so hard to keep it a secret from everyone especially when I've been feeling so awful and having to lie and say it's just a regular sickness. 

After we finished wrapping I went to prep some stuff ready to make dinner tomorrow as I don't want to spend all day in the kitchen and not enjoying the festivities. I tried my best to get on with the prep I wanted to do but the smell of the food was making me feel so nauseous I tried to breathe through my mouth or just ignore the smell but I couldn't. Eventually it became too much and I had to run to the bathroom where Pedri quickly joined me to help hold back my hair. To begin with my sickness wasn't too bad but over the last week or so it has definitely got worse there is certain foods that I just can't stomach anymore and the smell of most things makes me nauseous. Once I was feeling better I wanted to go back to the kitchen and finish what I started but Pedri wouldn’t let me he insisted on doing it so I gave him instructions and he did all of it for me. 

Pedri joined me back on the sofa and put on a show for us to watch or for him to watch while I fight to keep my eyes open. As predicted I must've fallen asleep as I was woken up by the squeaky step on the stairs as Pedri carried me up them. When he saw my eyes open he cursed the step before telling me to go back to sleep but I would only do that when he tucked me up in bed and gave me the goodnight kiss I missed out on before. 

~~~~~~~~~~

25th December 

My Christmas morning started out with the most delightful gift of having to run to the bathroom because I woke up feeling overwhelmingly sick. Luckily my hair was already up this time but Pedri still sat by my side and rubbed my back for nothing more than moral support but I appreciate it anyway. He got me a glass of water and helped me up so I could brush my teeth so that we can get on with the days plans. Like the amazing husband he is Pedri made me some toast for breakfast as he knows that’s one of the things I can eat when everything else makes me sick. He also had all my vitamins I'm supposed to take laid out and some water to go with them which so nearly made me cry as all my hormones have had me extra emotional but I managed to hold back. 

We agreed that we weren't going to open any presents until Pedri's family arrived but after we finished eating Pedri handed me a gift and told me to open it. Inside was a little photo album meant to capture every first of a baby's life I flicked through the book to see all the moments we can capture in here then I saw that Pedri has already put the first ultrasound picture in there. That was enough to make me cry I can't wait to fill this book with memories and cry again every time I look at it. 

"Thank you this is the best gift" I said 

"You've already given me the best gift so I had to try and get you something that represents that and I know you love a photo album" he said 

"It's perfect I can't wait to keep adding to it" I said 

We continued to talk about what our lives will look like over the next year and then for the rest of our lives until Pedri's family arrived and I had to hide the photo album quickly. He ran and let them in and helped them with the bags of presents they'd brought with them while I greeted them all as it's been a while since we were all last together as life has been hectic. Rosy complimented my outfit and told me I looked beautiful which really put a smile on my face as I've not felt good about myself since my pregnancy symptoms took over. We all chatted for a little while catching up before I could see Pedri getting impatient and wanting to tell his family already so I suggested we open presents. 

Pedri quickly took over and gave his mum the gift we wrapped yesterday and says it was for all of them so they all gathered round to look at what it was. Seeing the look on their faces as it sunk in made my day. I knew they would all be excited as Pedri's family are all really close but I wasn't expecting the immediate group hug we were both pulled into. I've never heard the word congratulations so many times but it made me happy to know they were so excited as I know our baby will have the best grandparents and uncle. 

"congratulations how far along are you y/n?" Rosy asked 

"I'm just over 8 weeks so not far along but we couldn’t wait to start telling people" I said 

"How have you been feeling?" Fernando asked 

"I've been better but I'm doing ok" I answered 

"She's been quite sick recently and very tired but she's been a trooper and still living like nothings going on" Pedri said 

"The first few few months are tough but it does get better and it's all worth it in the end" Rosy said 

"We can take over everything for today you should be resting and taking care of yourself" Fer offered 

"Oh no I can't have you do that you're supposed to be guests I'm fine really" I said 

"Don't be silly at least let us take over dinner I remember when I was pregnant with the boys the smell of food always set me off" Rosy said 

"Ok but I will make up for it at a later date we will invite you over for dinner and I'll cook for you" I said 

"That sounds lovely" Fernando said 

We opened the rest of the presents we had got for each other but nothing was really able to top the pregnancy surprise we started with. Pedri did get me a little heartbeat reading machine so once the baby is more developed we will be able to listen to their heartbeat at home which I enjoyed. He said he thought about getting this really cute baby onesie he saw but he held back so that we can get the first things together but he did promise to use one of his days off to go baby shopping with me in the new year which at this time in my life is my version of a great day. We also had to joke about the fact that Fer had bought be a nice bottle of wine which of course he wasn't to know was bad timing but it made everyone laugh especially when Pedri said we could pack it in my hospital bag for right after the baby is born. 

Then it was time to start on dinner but I wasn't allowed to lift a finger in fact I wasn't even allowed to get myself a drink of water someone else aways did it for me. I was also periodically fed snacks by Pedri who wanted to make sure I'm getting enough nutrients even when I'm not feeling well. At some point I must've fallen asleep as it was light when I last remember being awake but then it was dark out and very dark out. It was a good nap though as I actually felt refreshed and like I had some energy for once. As I slept for apparently most the afternoon dinner was almost ready so I got up to freshen up as I know I look ridiculous when I've just woken up. I fixed my hair and even put on a bit of makeup which made me look and feel more human which is the most I can ask for at the moment. 

By the time I was ready the table was being set so I tried to help as I've done nothing all day but Pedri steered me away from the kitchen to the table where he pulled out a chair for me and told me to sit down. I wanted to help but he told me that his parents have it all covered so my job is to just sit and look pretty which he said I'm doing a great job of. He gave me a quick kiss before running back to the kitchen to help. It didn't take long before there was a plate of food put in front of me which looked amazing although I had to try not to smell it as it will make me nauseous. The food was lovely much better than anything I could've made but I guess thats what happens when you get chefs to make your Christmas dinner. I ate as much as I could before I started to feel sick which Pedri could definitely tell as he squeezed my hand under the table to check that I was ok. 

The original plan was for everyone to stay and watch a movie after dinner but Pedri's family insisted on leaving us be after cleaning up which again I tried to say wasn't necessary but they insisted on helping out. The house ended up cleaner than it started out so I won't have to clean for a few days which will be nice. 

"Thank you for taking over dinner and cleaning I really appreciate all your help" I said as they were all leaving 

"There's no need to thank us you've done all the hard work preparing for today" Fernando said 

"And if you need anything don't hesitate to reach out even if it's just something small we are all happy to help out" Rosy added 

"Thank you guys we really appreciate all your help" Pedri said 

"Make sure you take care of her bro and you've got to learn to cook now your a father" Fer said 

"I've been trying haven't I love" Pedri said 

"He has and he's definitely getting better I don't have to supervise all the time anymore" I said 

They congratulated us one more time before leaving so it was just me and Pedri. It wasn't late but we decided to just go to bed as it's been a long day. Pedri definitely wasn't tired but I was so he got me to rest my head on his chest as he played with my hair as he knows that always sends me to sleep.

“Good night mi amor I love you and our little baby so much already” Pedri whispered as I was falling asleep

“We both love you too” I whispered back 

[sensitivehandsomeactionman]

350 fans attended. 10 fans per table. Buffet style. It took a long time for us to all get our food, pick a seat and sit down. 10 minutes later, Jensen and Steve walked in and greeted all of us from the stage.

Jensen started by explaining how they got this panel idea: because he often gets band related questions in panels and he feels bad about it sometimes, because not everyone with him is involved and they couldn't weigh in. (He jokingly lowered his voice)"Jared", and he doesn't want anyone to feel left out. And also, the only person(s) who could answer Radio Company related questions are either him or Steve. So they got the idea of doing a panel specifically for music related questions together and since we are in Texas, BBQ!

How do they collaborate with each other? Jensen said Steve is the more musically talented of the two, he is the one who could read music and communicate with professionals and explain what they need. Jensen just, he considers himself as having sharp ears. He might not know what exactly something was called but he knows when something just sounds right (or wrong), just by listening to it. And Steve is the one who enriches and develops from his hunch, and communicates with other professional musicians to work on them. Because, Jensen admits, he does not have the vocab of all those technical terms.

They did a little demonstration with guitar, Jensen strung a simple tune and gestured to Steve, and Steve was like, "You want me to do it here, now?" but he picked it up and made it into a much more complex melody and Jensen laughed, "now you are just showing off!" Steve mentioned it's like Jensen's "acting stuff" and Jensen fake astonished like, "Acting STUFF?" And Steve was like, How would I know what you do? All I know is you were always off busy doing your...stuff!

City Grown Willow. It's a song Steve wrote as a gift to a couple of his friends 10 years ago. The husband was from Colorado (cowboy) and wife from LA. They had split up now but they were a great couple. And the song was just kind of put on the shelf after it was written. One day Jensen and Steve were trying some music together, and Jensen asked Steve if he has anything that's already baked. Steve said you know most of my stuff already! You were there when I wrote them! Then he suddenly remembered, oh there is this one...and afterwards Jensen was like, can I have it? And that's how it came to be.

How did they first start? They were both from Texas and became friends in the good old days. Early 2000s they were roommates in Vancouver and Steve sometimes recorded at home. When he was recording his first album, Jensen walked in and was like, what is that? I love the song. He casually sang the harmony and Steve was like, I didn't know you could sing? Jensen was humble about it and said something like, Yeah I could carry a tune now and then. But Steve was so impressed he insisted for Jensen to record it properly right there. Well they were at home anyway so, no biggy? And Steve ended up using Jensen's harmony for that song in his first album. And it went from there. They've collaborated together and developed more than 50 songs now.

Austin summer! Hhh Steve is an Austin local. He said every year he gave a birthday concert. It's a small gathering, just for friends. And this year is the 10th anniversary and everyone was like, Steve, could we do it anywhere but Austin for this year? August, too hot! And he was like, well, yeah, all right. And then Jensen called, and his 10th anniversary concert was still held in Austin! Last week. Jensen said, Well, it was meant to be! Also Jensen: I used to live here! Austin is great! But not in June, July, August, and sometimes throw in September too. Never liked Austin summer, and why did creation choose August I have asked this question for a year now.

Fans asked him what he misses most about Texas and he said, I don't? I am still here all the time. I am here now, I was here a few weeks ago and then a few weeks before that. My whole family's still here my mom and dad are in Dallas I often visit them. So I kind of... I didn't catch what he said after that but I got the idea that he thinks of himself more like commuting, instead of permanently moved out.

They mentioned an Easter egg they put in one of their songs, they used the exact same letters for 2 sentences and they were really proud of it and high fives each other all excited afterwards. I think it might be All Our Own but I'm not sure. Maybe someone else remembers?

The new song Home on the Road Jensen was shooting Rust in New Mexico and rented a small house next to the Rio Grande river. It's quiet and out of the way and he walks on riverbank trail on his day off and loved it. When Steve visited and they tried to hum a tune out and once they got it, the first words came out of Jensen for that tune was "home on the road". Just like that little house, his home on the road. Both him and Steve travel so much for work, it resonated. And they wrote the song. They said it's not polished yet but they sang it for us anyway. The tune reminded me of City Grown Willow. I think it'll become my new favorite.

If they were invited to perform in ACL festival will they go? Jensen: No!! Steve: Ugh definitely? Jensen: So here is your answer. Steve will drag me kicking and screaming to there. They laughed so hard and then Jensen said, no any time you have a chance to perform in that capacity, of course you go.

Talked about Kaleo and JJ. J2 and JJ are friends and they get together whenever JJ visits and they'd love to collaborate together if ever get the chance. This is all I could recall!

[golbrocklovely]

mr. fantastic // sam golbach

A/N: first off, sorry this is getting posted so late. had to make some last minute revisions. so, for this one and colby's fic later on, i need to give some slight context. basically in both of these, they are AUs were snc are corrupt ppl, or have a bit of a corruption aspect to their personalities. some of these fics are/can be seen as dark, so i totally get if you don't feel comfortable reading it. just give a good look over of the trigger warnings and see how you feel. if you do enjoy it, please lmk what you think. also this fic is very vaguely based off the boys, the tv show/comic book series. sam is a smidge (and i mean a very tiny amount) reminiscent of homelander. do with that information as you will. happy haunting!

prompt: everyone around you loves sam, or as he's commonly known as - mr. fantastic. but you can see right through his facade. but when he starts winning over your friends, you know something is going on, and it's not good. || AU!superhero!sam x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT, enemies-to-lovers, you used to have a crush on sam in high school and now he's a superhero, superhero!sam, corrupt!sam, twist ending, i would say a hint of dubcon (but y/n never says no or stop, but just to be on the safe side i'm letting yall know), manipulation via powers and magical handcuffs (it will make sense in the story lol), hate fucking/rough sex, unprotective sex, cursing, mentions of: babygirl, slut, good girl, my girl, baby, degrading language

word count: 6769

I couldn't stand him, or anyone else like him. Everyone praised the ground he walked on, but me? Every time I saw him, he made me sick to my stomach.

Well, maybe not sick. But I did hate seeing his dumb, stupid face.

You would think with superheroes becoming known to the public, life would get easier. Crime would go down, more criminals would be off the streets, and the overall quality of life would skyrocket. But that just wasn't factually accurate. Did you know in my city alone, the crime rate has gone up 25% since last year? And what exactly are the superheroes doing about it? Causing more destruction and chaos. I swear, bad things only truly started happening once they came out to the public all those years ago.

The only saving grace I had in my life was that I wasn't alone in my feelings towards superheroes. I had my two best friends, Macie and Rachel, and they both felt the same way I did. Especially towards the best-known superhero in our city, Mr. Fantastic. His real name was Sam Golbach, and I hated him deeply.

He and I had history, you could say. We both went to the same high school. We were both nerdy, and just overall losers. We graduated and moved away to the same city, and then a couple years ago, all of a sudden, he is shown on the news as the newest superhero to save us. It made no sense to me because I remember him from high school. He never had powers. And there's no way that he, the guy that got shoved into lockers and made fun of for being a band nerd, would have tolerated being bullied like that if his powers were super strength and flight. And not only that, but the way the news describes his upbringing: it's all a lie! They paint him to be this all-American boy. They say he was a jock and just a bit shy for most of his life until finally growing into his powers at 19. Most superheroes get their powers by 16, so that alone should be telling that something is off with him. But no. Everyone just believes the lies he tells them. And that is why I hate him.

I may also hate him because I had a huge crush on him in high school and he never gave me the time of day. But I mostly hate him for all of the superhero stuff, not the high school bullshit.

Mostly.

It was like any other normal Tuesday in our office. Our manager, Sally, would bring in donuts, George would make some comment about the week moving too slowly, and around ten o'clock we would all have to stop working to watch the daily superhero news. It was mandatory in our office, as our jobs revolved around fixing superheroes’ fuck ups.

It was almost ten, and we all sat around the flatscreen hanging in the middle of one of our bigger conference rooms, waiting for the news to begin. I glanced around, noticing that Rachel wasn't in. I furrowed my brow, leaning towards Macie.

"Have you seen Rach?" I asked.

She shrugged, "No but I talked to her last night and she seemed fine. Maybe she's just running late or is taking a half day."

I hummed, "Maybe..."

The news turned on loudly, quieting everyone in the office. I leaned back in my chair, sighing deeply. God, please let today be a normal, boring news day.

"Hello everyone, thank you all for coming out this morning," the police commissioner nodded his head, looking at the audience that had formed outside of the precinct. "As always, we like to start with the positives and then move onto the, uh, wreckage. Please hold all questions until the end of the press conference. And now, I pass the stand to Mr. Fantastic."

A bunch of people clapped in the office, some wooing lowly. I grimaced, rolling my eyes the moment he popped on screen.

"Good morning, hello. Oh no need for cheering, thank you. You're too kind," He smiled brightly, shushing the crowd politely. "First, like I always say during these press conferences, thank you for letting me protect this city. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I couldn't protect the lovely citizens of this place."

"You'd probably be working at a Burger King by now." I mumbled, getting close to Macie. She snickered, gazing back at the screen.

"So last night was eventful, like most nights here. I was able to stop two car jackings, and finally put an end to the mask thief that's been vandalizing all of the inner city's school buses. You can all be glad that today, your kids are riding on safe, clean transit." Sam pointed, giving his trademark wink and smile.

I groaned, lulling my head back in the chair. Could this day get any more boring?

"I also have some fantastic news to share with you all," He chuckled, the crowd following suit. "I saved a special young woman from a purse nabbing and possible assault last night around 2:30. Now as you all know, I know many of the people I save like to remain anonymous, but this one really wanted to let you all know how she felt. And of course, I just can't say no to any of you. So please, allow me to give her the floor." He let out another laugh, backing away from the mic. I glanced at the clock, realizing only five minutes had passed. God must have been punishing me, specifically.

Suddenly, everyone in the room gasped, Macie being the loudest. She slapped my leg, pointing at the tv. I turned and my eyes widened at the sight. Rachel, with tears welling up in her eyes, stood at the podium, smiling brightly. "Thank you all. I just wanted to say that Mr. Fantastic," she turned to him giving him a sensual gaze, "Sam, is one of the best superheroes around. This man saved my life, and I couldn't be more grateful for him. He is amazing and so handsome, and this city should be thankful to have a man like him. I love you, Sam. Thank you so much."

She reached over, giving him a huge hug. He accepted her embrace, allowing her to run her hands almost up and down his body too many times.

My mouth dropped open, unable to comprehend what I was watching. Rachel hated Sam just as much as I did. Literally last week she wished a car would fall out of the sky and squish him because he held up her commute stopping a supervillain from breaking out of the state prison. And now she was on tv, basically ready to suck his dick, because he saved her!

Macie and I looked at each other, knowing we needed to talk to Rach as soon as possible. I sent Rach a quick text, telling her to meet us at our usual lunch spot.

~~~~

My eyes narrowed at Rachel, her smile irritating me. "Please, repeat the story one more time for me."

"Okay, if I must," she giggled. "Last night I went to the corner store because I was craving some ice cream. As I was walking home, a man rushed me and stole my purse. I tried to chase after him but couldn't catch him. He ran across the street, and out of the shadows... there was Sam. He swooped in, grabbed the man, roughed him up, and got my purse back to me. God, it was seriously so hot to see him in action like that."

Rach lightly fanned herself, and I had to hold back my vomit.

"So, he saved you, gave you your purse back. And then what?" Macie questioned.

She continued, "He walked me home and... I woke up this morning knowing I had to thank him for saving my life. So on my way to work, I stopped by the police station, saw him and begged him to let me speak at the conference."

I blinked hard, "He didn't save your life. You weren't threatened. Some random dude just stole your purse."

She pouted, "Yeah, but he saved me so much hassle of having to call my credit card companies and tell them to shut everything off and having to get a new I.D.-"

I jumped in, "I get that, and I'm not trying to downplay it, but like.... last week you wanted a car to fall out of the sky on top of him."

"And the week before that we betted on the subway crushing him between the tracks during that pipe burst. What's changed?" Macie argued, taking a sip of her coffee.

"He saved me," she stated plainly, with a soft smile. "You know, I think we've been so focused on this idea of him that I think if we got to really know him, we would know he's a great guy."

"Have you forgotten that he is lying to the public about his upbringing and reputation? Or the fact any time he saves someone, there is destruction in his wake that our company has to clean up, causing our jobs to be more difficult?" I scowled at her, unable to hold back.

She rolled her eyes hard, "Oh, come off it, Y/N. The only reason you care about that is because he rejected you in high school and you're too hung up on it."

"Excuse me?" I deadpanned.

Rach crossed her arms defiantly. "You heard me. I will no longer be a part of your rain-on-Sam parade. He is an amazing man. And a great superhero."

"Even if any of that were true, you gotta admit that this 180 you're doing is weird. You fucking hated him last night." Macie argued.

"And now I want to marry him." Rach smirked.

My eyes widened, "What the fuck did you just say?"

"If you want me to be honest, I'll say it. I think he is the man of my dreams and everything I could hope for in a partner. I want him, and I hope he'll have me." She turned to Macie, almost giggling, "I slipped him my number at the conference."

"You can't be fucking serious, Rach." I groaned.

"I just know he’s great in the bedroom..." Rach thought out loud.

"Oh... so you've completely lost it. Good to know." I remarked, taking a quick sip of my coffee.

"Don't be jealous of our love. Maybe one day he'll save you too." She quipped.

I laughed sarcastically, "I would rather get crushed by a car, thanks."

~~~~

Two weeks had passed since Rach's incident with Sam. We hadn't been talking to one another all that much, just casual conversation in passing. Maybe she was right to some extent. Maybe I was holding onto this hatred for Sam just because he didn't care about my existence back when we were kids. I should let it go, and stop being such a hater.

At least, I thought that way, until this morning.

I had tunnel vision as I glared at the tv, unable to peel my eyes away as I watched the news. Another press conference. Another day of kissing Sam's ass. But this time, he again introduced another woman that wanted to thank him publicly. And this time... it was Macie.

Her spiel was the same, her mannerisms almost identical to Rach's speech. I watched, my mouth a gaped, as she thanked Sam profusely for saving her from the purse nabber. She leaned up and kissed his cheek multiple times, her hands gripping the collar of his shirt desperately.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. There's no way that this was actually happening. Something fishy was going on, and it had everything to do with Sam. I fucking knew he was trouble. I just needed to get proof.

I met with Macie alone at our usual spot. I begged her to tell me everything in detail, and her story was eerily similar to Rachel's.

"So a guy stole your purse as you left some club, Sam got it back to you, walked you home, and then you woke up today knowing you had to tell the world how great he is." I reiterated her story, annoyed.

"Exactly. He really is truly a fantastic guy." She snorted, rolling her eyes, "Oh my God, sorry. Such a bad pun."

"Yeah... that." I blinked, holding in my rage. "So, you don't happen to feel the same way as Rach, tho, right? Like... you're not in love with him?"

She thought about it for a moment, "I do think he's amazing, and I would love to be married to him... So I guess you could say yeah. I am in love. Am I blushing?"

I sighed deeply, "What exactly changed? I know he saved you, or your purse, and that's great. I'm so happy he did that. But what exactly made you wake up today and feel this need to wish to have his children?"

"I don't know. It's like... this light just switched off in my head. I just feel that deep down in my soul, I want to be his. And I really hope he'll have me." She smiled dreamily.

Hearing her say almost the exact same thing as Rach made my composure crack. "Do you hear yourself? You want to be his?! He is a douchey superhero who makes our jobs harder, and not to mention barely does anything to actually help the crime rate in this city! He got you your purse back, and all of sudden you want to... be his? You can't be serious."

She shook her head, glaring. "You know, I think Rach was right. You are jealous of the love he and I share, all because he rejected you."

"He didn't even reject me! He didn't know I existed! There's a difference," I took a breath, trying to calm down. "You don't think it's odd that all of sudden you want to have his children? You don't even want to have kids."

Macie ignored me, continuing her argument. "Either way, you come across really bitter and I hope if he comes to save you, you change your attitude. To be held in his arms would be a dream come true."

She stood up dramatically, leaving the restaurant in a huff.

~~~~

After the shitty month I had, I needed to buy some alcohol to drink my troubles away. Rach and Macie hadn't talked to me since their "savings", so work had become even more tedious and annoying. And now, it seemed like I was the only one in the office that didn't like Sam. Morale had really gone up once he saved two of our coworkers, and I had to quietly sit there, pretending I did despise the man or the situation as a whole.

As I walked home from the liquor store, I noticed how quiet the streets had become as I got closer to my apartment. It was like anyone that was out on the street moments ago disappeared. There were sirens off in the distance and the light rumble of the subway underneath the streets. The low buzz of the street light above me caught my eye, and as I looked up, the light flickered. A chill ran up my spine suddenly.

Okay, maybe I was just freaking myself out for no reason.

A body slammed into mine from behind, almost knocking me flat on the ground. A man wrestled my bag out of my hand, sprinting off down the street.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me!" I screamed. I began to chase after him, my speed not even remotely catching up to him.

My thoughts swirled of all the things I had in that bag. My wallet, my phone, and my key to get into my apartment. I groaned loudly, annoyed.

Where the fuck were any of the superheroes when you needed them?

The man ducked into an alleyway, a loud crash coming from there. I ran to where he was, finding him passed out in the street. His nose had blood running down it, like someone punched him. My purse was nowhere in sight.

"Are you looking for this?" A voice said from behind me.

I spun on my heels, coming face-to-face with Mr. Fantastic himself, Sam.

I opened my mouth to speak but was unable to say anything. I had so much I wanted to say, but couldn't decide on what.

"No need to be shocked, miss. I know, superheroes are a lot to take in." He smiled softly.

Hearing his voice brought me out of my stupor. "That's not why I'm shocked. You kinda just... came out of nowhere."

His face dropped, surprised by my tone. "Oh..."

We stood there awkwardly for a moment, both unsure what to say next.

He reached out, my purse in his hand. "Um, here you go, Miss...?"

"Y/N. My name is Y/N." I stated.

"What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." He complimented me.

"Thanks, I guess," I mumbled. "And thank you for getting my purse back. It means a lot."

"It's all in a day's work. Or night's technically." His well-known laugh escaped his lips.

I blinked, slowly walking away from him, "Yeah.... Anyway, I gotta get back home. It's late, and I wanna get drunk."

"Oh, well, why don't I walk you home?" He asked, keeping in step with me.

"I don't think there's any need to." I argued politely.

"No, let me. It's clearly unsafe on these streets." Sam responded.

"Well, you just stopped the purse nabber... again. For the third time. Maybe this time he can finally get arrested." I smiled bitterly, trying not to sound it.

"The police have already been called and they are on their way. So, why don't I walk you home?" He stopped in front of me, looking me in the eyes genuinely. "I will be worried if I don't make sure you get there safely."

I exhaled, "...Okay, fine."

I walked home silently, not wanting to speak to Sam. He stepped in time with me, never speaking. I almost forgot he was with me, until he cleared his throat once or twice.

I pointed up at my building, pulling my keys out to go inside, "Well, we're here. Thanks for walking me home, I gotta get upstairs and get to drinking. So, goodbye."

"Wait, before you go up, can I ask you something?" He queried.

I squeezed my eyes shut, opening them again and turning back to him. "Sure, I guess."

He crossed his arms, cocking his head. "How did you know I stopped the purse nabber before? Those were such minor crimes I solved; I'm surprised anyone would remember them."

"Well, you didn't really solve the crime since clearly the man never got put away." I retorted; my voice sickeningly sweet.

Sam raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to answer his previous question.

"My friends were the two you saved." I deadpanned.

"Oh really, what a small world." He pursed his lips in thought, "Their names were... Rachel and Macie, correct?"

"Yep, them exactly." I nodded.

"They were kinda like you, in a way." He mentioned.

I furrowed my brow, "What do you mean by that?"

His tone shifted. It was no longer the public persona one he used on the news. Now, it was more... casual. Equally as snarky as mine. "They too didn't like me. Or were a little... snippy with me."

Oh, well if you wanna play like that... "Yeah, and weirdly now, they want your babies."

He faux-gasped. "What a strange turn of events."

"I guess you changed their minds. How exactly did you do that?" I glared at him, accusatory.

"My charming personality." He smirked.

"Right." I jeered.

"I mean, if you really want to know the answer, let me into your apartment," his voice was almost sultry, his eyes mischievous. "Let me have one drink with you."

I narrowed my gaze at him, blinking slowly. "You're serious."

"100%. But I mean, if you don't want to know, then I can just leave." He pointed to the street, backing away.

"No, you can come up." I felt this overwhelming sensation that I had made a grave mistake, but I continued. "But if for even a second you make me uncomfortable, I have every right to resend your invitation."

"You know I'm not a vampire, right?" Sam snickered. "I'll respect your wishes regardless, but you can't just kick me out that easily."

"Okay fine, if you don't get out of my house when I say so, I'll stab you. Got it?" I grinned crazily.

He raised an eyebrow playfully, "Feisty... Sure, I hear you loud and clear."

We walked up to my place, my eyes catching his form out of the corner of my eye. What the hell was I even doing? Why was I inviting this asshole to my apartment?

I mean, I know why. But God, I just hope this ends quickly.

I cleared my throat as we both stepped in. Sam glanced around my apartment, giving a soft whistle. "Fan-cy."

I rolled my eyes, knowing he was joking. "Well, some of us aren't government paid employees with apartments in skyrises."

"You are a very defensive person. Do you always feel like you're being attacked, or is that just your general tone with me?" He shot back.

"I guess you just bring it out of me." I popped the bottle of whiskey open, the sound reverberating as I smiled bitterly. I poured two cups, dropping a cube into both.

"You're into whiskey, huh?" He gave me a quick once over, "That's kinda sexy."

"No one asked." I raised my glass, "Cheers."

"To new beginnings." He toasted.

"Sure..." I took a long sip, the whiskey burning a little extra hard.

He let out a light cough. "Hooo, that's has a kick."

"So, are you gonna tell me how or why my friends all of sudden started liking you or not?" I asked coldly.

"You don't mess around." He chuckled.

"I only invited you up here for that reason." I replied honestly.

"It wasn't to sleep with me?" He hummed, "I'm surprised."

"I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth." I spat.

"Well, thank God I'm not." He quipped.

I placed my hands on my hips, annoyed. "So... the reason?"

Sam walked over to my living room, taking in everything. His eyes scanned my bookshelves, stopping suddenly. "Hey, how do you have this?"

I glanced up at the ceiling, hoping God could feel my glare from down here. "Have what?"

He pulled a book out, its green and white cover I knew all too well. "This yearbook. This is the school I went to, the year I graduated."

My heart dropped and I raced over to him, "Hey that's mine!"

He flew across the room easily, flipping through the book. "God, I haven't seen this in so long. But again, how did you get this?"

"Give it back to me." I demanded, stomping up to him.

"Wait a second. Is this you?" He opened up to a page with my high school portrait, little writings around it from friends of mine from back then.

I felt a rush of heat to my cheeks, making me speechless. I yanked the book out of his hands, going back to the bookshelf.

"You went to my high school. Wait, Y/N...." He gasped suddenly, "I remember you! Wow, you got a lot hotter."

"Thanks. Can't say the same for you." I grunted, hating how warm my face felt.

He spun me around, his eyes staring into mine. "Now, there's no need to lie to me."

"You don't understand personal space, do you?" I bitched, trying to push him back.

He barely moved; his eyes unchanging. "Am I not allowed to be close to you? Do I make you nervous or something?"

"No, I just hate your presence." I did my best to hide the shakiness in my voice, my body hitting the edge of my window and radiator.

"Strangely, you are the only woman that's like that." He jested, "Is it because you're hiding a crush or some-"

"No!" I cleared my throat, huffing. "No. I don't have a crush on you."

For a second it looked like he moved, his face holding back a smile. "Can you say that again for me?"

"I definitely have a crush on you." I breathed, my brain feeling like it buffered for a second. Why the fuck did I just say that?

He backed away, cocking his head. "Oh you do? Glad you could admit it."

"I wasn't admitting anything. I was just joking, and the joke is that I've had feelings for you since high school." I gasped, "What the fuck?!"

He teased, "I'm so happy you feel comfortable telling me the truth."

"Why am I saying this?" I whispered to myself.

He pointed down to my hand, "It probably has something to do with the handcuffs I put on you."

"Wha-?" I glanced down, and sure enough one of my wrists was handcuffed to the radiator by my window.

"You gotta be a bit more observant than that." He laughed sincerely, lounging on my couch.

I let out a ragged breath, pissed. "How the fuck did you-"

"Those handcuffs are really only meant to be used by me on criminals, that way they confess. But sometimes I like to use it for more..." He gazed at me longingly, "spicier reasons."

"You're a fucking creep." I hissed.

"And you're into it." He snapped.

"Yes I am." Oh my God...

He bit his lip, pleased at my answer. "So, your friends actually told me, without needing the handcuffs B-T-W, that you had a crush on me since high school. And now seeing you, I remember who you are. You were just as nerdy as me."

"Oh, at least you're admitting that now. Why, because there's no cameras around to lie to?" I sassed, pulling at the handcuffs.

"Hey, it's not a lie that I tell. I just... fib a bit." He settled into my couch, fluffing up one of the pillows, "I did play sports, so that would qualify me as a jock."

I scoffed, "Ping-pong is barely a sport."

"Says you," he grumbled. "But that can't be the only reason you hate me slash love me."

"I don't love you." I stated honestly.

"Oh, but you will," Sam uttered lowly. “You still didn't answer my question though. So, is it really just the crush bullshit?"

"No. It's not just that," I started. "You lied, not only about your upbringing. But your powers. You didn't have them in high school. You got bullied just as much as me, if not more so. If you had super strength, you would have kicked Joe's shins in."

He chuckled mockingly. "God, are you, like, obsessed with me? How do you know so much?"

"Joe bullied me too, dumbass. I'm not obsessed with you, I just don't understand you at all. And I know you're a liar. And I try to use those reasons to hide the feelings I still have," I groaned, pulling at the handcuffs more. "Jesus Christ get these handcuffs off!"

"Not yet," Sam commented. "So... you are right. I do lie, in a lot of ways, to the general public. Sometimes I throw in extra crimes I 'solved' during the night, when usually I'm just chilling at the 24-hour Taco Bell."

I gaped, "I fucking knew it!"

He sat up, sitting on the edge of the couch. "Jokes on you, it's actually the 24-hour Wendys."

"Why do you lie? People love you. There's no need to pretend." I argued.

"Ahh, but there is. I have a lot riding on me to be one of the best superheroes around." He remarked.

I hid my eye roll. "Like what?”

"You're right about one thing. I didn't have superpowers in high school. I wasn't born a superhero. When we graduated, an up-and-coming bio-tech company, Malusvir, reached out to random people asking if they wanted to be part of a study for $50k. I thought, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, might as well go see what's up. Go be a guinea pig for some money." Sam shook his head, his anger brewing, "Come to find out, they were testing out if they could grow superheroes."

"What the fuck?" I squeaked.

"I was injected a whole lot of times with... something. And while I was basically comatose for months, all of a sudden, superheroes started bursting on the scene. The government was finally letting them out of the bag, and they were allowing all heroes to sign up to become part of the Superheroes Task Force." Sam stood up, starting to pace. "When I awoke, I was one of the only ones that survived the trial run. This company ended up getting bought out by the government, and they covered it up by going bankrupt and saying they were making chemical weapons, which isn't technically wrong."

"Does the government know about you being... home grown?" I inquired.

"No. The bio-tech company used an alias for all of us, so no one found out. And the secrets disappeared with the CEO when he flew out of the country back to his home country and mysteriously died. I'm pretty sure he's just hiding. Or was killed for what he knew." He informed, his eyes almost glazing over.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" I questioned, confused.

"Because no one will believe you." He replied softly, his voice taking me back. Then, he switched back into his cocky self. "So... that's my story. But back to you, how long were you into me?"

"Since junior year." I confessed.

"You liked 17-year-old me?" He winced, "Oof, now that's a choice."

"So was that haircut." I quipped lightheartedly.

He leaned towards me, whispering. "And those cargo shorts."

I snickered, and he smiled genuinely for the first time.

A silence fell over us for a moment, then he looked up at me and asked nonchalantly. "So... do you wanna fuck?"

I choked, "What?"

"Is it really that surprising of a question? You're into me, and I find you hot," his eyes snaked down my body. "Especially handcuffed."

I stammered, "I-I don't-"

"Look, if you don't want to, understandable. I am a bit of a dick. But let me put it to you this way, have sex with me and get all that anger out that you feel towards me." He stepped closer to me, teasingly. "A good hate fucking helps out everyone involved, really."

I breathed, "You're insane."

"Or, if you have sex with me, and I'm bad... you can brag to your friends that I suck." He offered.

I sucked in a deep breath, already knowing my answer. "You raise a good point there."

"So, will you let me make you feel good or no?" He wrapped an arm around me tightly, bringing his face close. Our bodies were pressed together, my heart speeding up. "Do you wanna fuck me or not?"

"Yes I do." I admitted.

"See, and I didn't have to keep the handcuffs on you for you to tell the truth." He raised up his hand showing the cuffs, smirking.

I scoffed, shoving him back. "You are such a dick."

"And you love every second of it." He taunted, back up to the couch.

"I do, I can't lie." I bit my lip, staring at his mouth.

He sat down, pulling me towards him. "Go ahead, sweetheart. Fuck me like you hate me."

I straddled his lap, grinding down on him as our mouths connected. He shoved his tongue into my mouth, a moan falling from my lips. He gripped my ass, pushing me down more onto his lap. I yanked on his hair, digging my nails into his scalp and chest.

He winced, chuckling darkly as he pulled away from our kiss. "Oh you like it rough, baby?"

"Yeah." I smirked.

"Well good," he bunched up my shirt, tearing it away from my body suddenly. The ripping fabric fell apart in his hands and he chuckled darkly. I gasped loudly, a pleasurable chill running down my spine. "Me too."

I whined, "I liked that shirt."

"I don't care." He slammed his lips back onto mine quickly, taking my breath away. He nibbled on my lip, our teeth clashing together from the intensity of the kiss. I grinded myself against his growing bulge, my wet panties pressing into my sex achingly. I hadn't even realized how hot and bothered he had made me, but I wasn't complaining. I needed this, and clearly so did he.

We removed our clothes desperately, needing each other. He sat back against my couch, gazing up at me hungrily.

"God, your body is killing me." He grunted, "Give it to me."

I settled back down onto his lap, my sex grazing his leaking cock. Our breaths stifled, hitching at the feeling of our bodies being so close and so bare. I lined up my hips, slowly taking in every inch of his dick.

Breathy moans fell from my lips, his groans almost covering up my sounds. Once he was completely inside of me, we stared into each other's eyes intensely.

He began moving his hips, his eyes never leaving mine. "How's it feel, baby? Riding the dick of someone you hate."

"I love it." I whimpered.

"Of course you do. You take me so well, babygirl." He grinned.

I grimaced, "Ew, don't call me that."

"I'll call you whatever I want to, and you'll enjoy every second of it." He slapped my ass hard, pushing into me harder, "Won't you?"

"Yeah, I will." I laughed, moving up and down on his cock, "Fuck, you are so annoying."

His voice was raspy as he glared at me, "Oh, I am? Well, you ain't any better."

I snickered, "Nice comeback, nerd."

He grabbed my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. He pounded into me faster, "Nice cunt, slut. Take this dick."

"Oh my God, fuck yes Sam!" I whined.

I bounced up and down on his cock, his hips meeting with mine, making him go deeper and deeper each time. Sweat slid down our bodies, the room rising in temperature from our movements.

His lips brushed against my ear, nibbling along my neck. "Baby, baby, do you wanna know something? I forgot to tell you something."

I groaned, displeased. "Do you know how to not fucking talk?"

"But babygirl, I think this is really important. You'll want to hear it." He hummed, his thrusts stopping.

"What? What is it?" I slowed my hips, my pussy quivering around him, needing more.

He let out a breathy laugh, pushing my hair out of my face. "So, I forgot one major detail when I told you about the bio-tech company that made me the way I am."

I rolled my eyes, not interested in this conversation at all, "What did you forget to tell me?"

"Malusvir..." The lights behind Sam's eyes dimmed, his face dropping. "They weren't making superheroes."

My heart skipped a beat, my eyes fluttering, "What do you me-"

His hand wrapped around my throat quickly, squeezing tightly. My breath hitched, and Sam began to pound into me again, his hips picking back up the pace they were at once before.

"You are such a silly, dumb girl. Your friends were just as dumb as you. Maybe even dumber." His almost sinister gaze sent shivers of pleasure down my spine as his grip tightened.

I held onto his shoulders, my heart rate picking up as he made it harder to breathe. "S-Sam, fuck."

"You wanna know how I got your friends to fall in love with me?" He pressed his mouth against my ear, whispering harshly. "I fucked them. Just like I'm fucking you. All three of you were so desperate and needy for this dick. But you? God, you're so much sexier."

I shook my head, "You're fucking joking..."

"No, I'm not. And yet, even as I tell you this, you're still riding me." Sam smirked, growling, "God, aren't you pathetic? Your crush runs real deep. Just like my cock."

"Fuck you." I spat.

"Fuck you right back." He leaned in again, biting my earlobe and neck. "I could literally feel you squeeze around me when I called you pathetic. Don't pretend you don't like this."

I tried ignoring him, but he was right. My body reacted to him saying it again, throbbing around him. "How did you make them-"

"Love me? Pheromones, mostly. Thanks to all of those..." His eyes closed tightly as he got lost in thought. "Injections. Fuuuck. God, you make it hard to think sweetheart."

He had to be lying. He had to be fucking with me. "So they fucked you, and that made them fall in love with you? But Rach said-"

“I fucked them but made it so they can't tell anyone. They remember it, but will never say a word. No one would believe them anyway." He winked, releasing his hand from my neck and sliding it down my body to my clit. "Oh baby, you are in for a world of change once you come. Or once I come inside of you."

"S-Shut up Sam. Shit, fuck yeah..." I let out a breathy moan, my hips stuttering. His cock was hitting the right spot repeatedly, his thumb rubbing my clit gently, making it hard to do anything but whine. "You're just fucking with me."

"Believe what you want to, Y/N. In the end, you're gonna be mine." His lustful blue eyes bore into mine, his voice husky as he continued fucking me. "My girl to use whenever I want to. My girl that gets love drunk on my cock. Aren't you excited for that? Don't you want that? To be my little plaything forever?"

"Yeaahhh," I mewled. My eyes widened, realizing what I said. "Fuck, h-how did you-"

"It's already happening. You can't stop it now. But you don't want to, either. Take this dick more and more, slut." He gripped my hips, slamming me down onto him over and over again. My brain grew quiet, mindless. All I could think of was his leaking cock deep within me and needing him to come inside of me. I needed his come. I needed him.

"Aww, baby. You're in love, aren't you? You love me, don't you?" He mocked, a feign innocent smile on his face.

I tried shaking my head. I was not in love with him. But my body didn't listen to me anymore.

I nodded my head, unable to stop myself. My heart surged, a wave of adoration washing over me as I took in Sam's face. God, he was so handsome, even more so when he was fucking me. I cried out in pleasure, my hips bucking hastily.

He bit his lip, his head falling back against the couch. "Good girl. You're my good girl. Forever."

"Forever." I repeated, my heart soaring.

"Who's are you? Tell me." He ordered, his eyes staring into mine.

"Yours." I whined wantonly.

He sped up his actions, fucking me faster and deeper. "Say it again."

Borderline sobbing, I stuttered out, "I'mmmm youuurss."

"Again!" He yelled, rubbing my clit harder.

"I'm yours, Sam!" I panted, bouncing on his dick as fast as I could.

"That's it, baby. You're so close. Get close for me!" He shouted darkly.

I begged desperately, my body overwhelmed, "Fuck Sam, please! Let me come! I fucking need it! I need you."

"That's right babygirl." He grabbed my neck again, growling, "Fucking come! Come for me!"

I exploded in ecstasy, my brain turning off as I came the hardest I ever had before. My body took over, my hips rutting against Sam's. My nails dug into his arm and shoulder, holding onto him for dear life as I rode him through my orgasm. Suddenly, he came inside of me, his groans thundering off the walls of my apartment. His hips bucked into me with abandon, pounding me once more before dropping back down onto the couch. I felt his cum leak out of my cunt, sliding down my inner thigh. Our bodies collapsed against one another, completely spent.

As I passed out, the last thing I heard was a small whisper that escaped his lips. "Mine."

[im14andivebeen14foramonth]

we will once again be projecting our mental illness onto an Outsiders Character this time Ponyboy suffers from hypochondria. Thank you

this is definitely one of my fav ponyboy hcs of all time!!

for starters, pony's always been a hypochondriac

even when he was super little, he'd lose his mind over every cough and sniffle he got

"MOM IM DYING!!!!" "pony you sneezed one time you're okay"

it definitely didn't help that he was constantly around soda. soda has the most sensitive stomach ever and was like constantly throwing up or bringing home illnesses from school and the playground and shit. so like every other week soda would be throwing up and now suddenly pony thinks he's sick too (he's not) and he like SWEARS that he has the flu (he is literally perfectly fine)

plus all of the coddling and spoiling from his whole family made ponyboy 10 times more dramatic, so whenever he told someone he was sick and they started cuddling him he'd immediately feel a million times more sick

as pony got older it only got worse and worse. every little cough or stomach bug made him anxious for days, and his whole family would have to reassure him that he was okay

after his parents died, pony's anxiety started to grow in literally form - his nightmares got worse, his zoning out got worse, and his hypochondria got worse

the first time he gets sick after his parents die, pony has one of the worst panic attacks of his life. he had just learned about stomach illnesses in science class, and after just losing his parents, he's sure that he's come down with something bad enough to kill him too. it takes a couple of days of comfort and reassurance from darry and soda to convince him that everything's okay

but what REALLY makes it worse is after the events of the book. pony's lungs aren't as good as they used to be after nearly drowning, along with inhaling all of the smoke in the church. when his cough doesn't go away after a few days after everything happens, pony gets so worked up about lung cancer that darry has to take him to the doctor to convince him that he's just taking a little time to get better

however, the doctor tells darry and pony that all of the physical trauma pony went through (near drowning, inhaling smoke, arm catching fire, concussion) that he's going to have some very long-lasting systems like a persistent cough and more frequent zoning out

it was really hard for pony to come to terms with this; he constantly had to remind himself that the doctor said it was normal, and that he wasn't coming down with anything really bad

also sidenote pony was NOT happy about staying in that church. every five seconds he was like "johnny what if we get sick in here? johnny what if i scratch my hand on something and get tetanus? johnny what if this water isn't clean and it makes us really sick what if we get dysentery?" he was battling in that damn church

it doesn't help that he reads such old books where like. the plague was a common thing. this boy has such a vivid imagination and he's quite naive and will believe he has something that hasn't been around in ages

"darry i feel really really sick i think i have the black plague :(" "pony." "no darry really i have it for sure!" "pony the black plague went away years ago." "WELL IT'S BACK DARRY I AND I HAVE IT I SWEAR!!!"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend?

I (32F) broke up with my boyfriend Jack (30M) a few months ago over a couple Issues I've been dealing with: I found out I have a degenerative issue with my eyes and will be going blind, and his dad hates me for being as he quotes "fat, uneducated, and bad with jobs". Note: I am infact obese, I do not have a college degree, and had lost my job 3 times in a row in 6mos before I hit the stable job I'm at now, due to mental breakdowns at work.

Jack has lived with his parents his whole life, and revers them greatly. However I can tell he's going through the same thing I did with my parents- Where they prioritized him getting good grades over his mental health, he constantly apologizes and thinks I will hate and abandon him over very simple things, he rather delve in games than face his problems, because he thinks he is comfortable when it's very much making him feel worse.

I cut contact with my parents 3 years ago for these exact same reasons- They were overbearing, abusive, and without another way to say it: extremely catholic. Because I was financially dependent on them and didn't know any better, I thought I could live with them as an adult because of how expensive housing is where we live.

Eventually I had to start getting therapy because I would have meltdowns so often in school, and found out it was the way that my parents treated me when I was younger, and that I have AuDHD- something my parents denied as me being too stupid and lazy to do anything after high school.I got on medication and though my ADHD improved, i had to continue therapy due to my Autism now having more time to focus and overwhelm me and having to learn to unmask. I've been told my personality did a 180 over this from peers that hadn't seen me pre-pandemic, but I'm happier now, and eventually found a way to move away from my parents and living with my Uncle instead, who instead of belittling me is encouraging my therapy.

I am explaining this, because Jack does the same things I do- he's almost the exact same as I was with my parentls. He has constant meltdowns and spirals, he thinks he's worthless because of the way his Mom and Dad treats him, yet he keeps putting his parents on a pedestal. It's because we seemed to grow up in the same kinds of environment that we bonded and eventually started dating last year.

Us openly dating did not last long, though, because when he introduced me to his parents they immedietely did not like me. They did not like that I wanted to help with dinner, or refuse eating chicken, because Jack is severely allergic to it. They also did not like that I wanted to clean the table and kept sidelooking at me whever we talked.

Because of this simple lunch, for months, they pressured him to break up with me but he wouldn't. He said he loves me as I am, and his parents are just stupid. We even had to start keeping the relationship secret, because his parents would harass him for coming to just pick me up, or meet me at a tennis court so we would play a game or two. His parents can track him through his car, so they always knew where he was.

I told him what I had to do to leave my parents house, but he said it's too hard to do that. My Uncle was sympathetic about this and even discussed with him to move into our house, but he refused that too.

Last month, I went to a vision doctor due to headaches and blurrier than usual vision, and found out that I would be losing my eyesight due to something going on within my eyes. Its extremely stressful for me, and dealing with that, and the constant harassment from Jacks parents, I got very tired. it was getting to the point where he couldnt go out without his parents yelling at him about me for something, we only hung out for once day per month. I didn't want to give them something else to yell about me at him, and I felt it would ease his stress because they would stop bothering him. And, though it seems weird, I hoped it make him uncomfortable enough to do something for himself. So I ended up breaking up with him.

It has really hurt to do this to him- He's someone I love dearly, and he's taken it way harder than I thought. He won't listen to me, But. He does listen to his friends- it's how he asked me out, and at least try out therapy, his friends hyped him up about it so he did it. I feel if his friends help him realize what he needs to do, he'll be more inclined to help himself than me just telling him. And if not, his friends are still there to back him up than me staying near him and having his parents harass him about it.

His friends are mad at me though, and told me I should have just put up with his parents, because in the end I am in love with him and that I actually made the whole situation worse, because he has loss motivation. Even though I am still talking to him and still there for him alongside his friends- I just make myself scarce so his parents don't know we talk. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[kandisheek]

Cap-Ironman Rec Week 2024

Better Together Monday: July 22nd

Prompt: Tell us all about those fanworks where Tony and Steve are better teammates, are more competent, complete missions more efficiently and are just overall better for working and being together!

We all know that Steve and Tony are better together than apart, and this is the perfect time to celebrate it! Here are some of my favorite fics where teamwork makes the dream work:

-- Kludged Together by Veldeia

When he cut his morning jog short to join Tony Stark on a reconnaissance mission off the East Coast, Steve sure wasn’t expecting to end up stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, his hand knuckle-deep in Stark's chest.

-- Danger Mouse by isozyme

First step: get both Tony and the pieces of Tony’s suit into some kind of shelter. It’s not raining now, but it’s only a matter of time. The passenger bay of the jet is sitting at a thirty degree angle and pretty banged up, but the doors are accessible and, hey, it’s got a roof. Step two after shelter: make a fire. That’s wilderness 101. Steve pats around his belt pouches for his matches. He comes up with a pack of tissues (wet), a couple of business cards (wet), his guilty pack of cigarettes (also wet), and finally a book of matches. It’s wet.

-- If Through a Door by jibrailis

Tony is accused of murder on an alien planet; Steve marries him to bring him home.

MORE RECS BELOW THE CUT:

-- Symmetry Breaking by Annie D (scaramouche)

After the Battle of New York, Steve rode off on his motorbike. That's how it went the first time. This time he rides back, all the way to Stark Tower, where he asks Tony for help.

-- Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happy Hour by BladeoftheNebula

“What is your problem?” Steve finally asked, annoyed at the way Stark was acting like there was a storm cloud over his head. Stark reeled back. “My problem? My fucking problem? You walk around this place with a stick jammed so far up your ass I’m surprised you can even bend over to suture!” Steve’s jaw dropped. “At least my head isn’t so big it barely fits through the OR doors.” Dr Steve Rogers is finally assigned to work at the MASH 107 army hospital in Korea, just like he’s been wanting since he was drafted. Too bad the Chief Surgeon is such an ass.

-- Senseless by Scavenge4Dreams

Blinded, deafened, exhausted, injured and afraid, Tony raised himself up into a defensive position, the knife coming up just like Nat had taught him.  “That had better fucking be you, Steve Rogers- it had better be you. Fucking disarm me. If you let me kill you, I swear I will be very, very pissed.” Tony snarled, sure it was Steve approaching. Had to be. Had. To. Be.  What if it wasn’t?

-- Trust Fall by Sineala

Tony needs someone who cares about him, bandages, a jacket, ibuprofen, dinner, a lasting romantic relationship, a nice time in bed, and assistance committing federal crimes. He gets them. In that order.

-- Love among the Hydrothermal Vents by DevilDoll

In which Namor has a thing for Steve, an octopus has a thing for Tony, and Steve and Tony eventually have a thing for each other.

And two of my own fics:

-- Flipping Through Channels

When Loki hits Tony and Steve with an illusion spell during their fight, Tony is prepared for torture, nightmares, the whole shebang. What he's not prepared for is being trapped in a kitschy eighties rom-com with him and Steve as the protagonist and love interest. And why the hell does Loki want them to kiss so badly?

-- Some More Equal Than Others

Steve split from SHIELD years ago, but when Fury approaches him with a rescue mission that goes beyond anything they've ever done before, Steve knows that he can't turn a blind eye to it. Those animals need his help, and if he has to go undercover to save them, then he'll do it gladly. He never expects to find what he does, a tiger hybrid who seems to understand him and yet pretend to be an animal. Steve knows that even more than any of the other animals in this illegal zoo, this man was never meant to belong in a cage. No matter what, Steve won't rest until the man is free.

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

real downer mental health stuff below cut. sorry. it's been a real hard couple weeks and i need to get things out somewhere or i'll go crazy.

i just need to get my feelings written out because right now i feel like im going to explode and i can't afford therapy right now and i can't talk to any friends because i cant live with the guilt of burdening them with my problems. so this is the only way i can think of getting it out of me. but i still feel guilty even doing this so im turning reblogs off because i don't want anyone to feel like they need to provide words of comfort or anything like that. would turn off replies to this post too if i knew how to do it. i just need to get it Out.

a few weeks ago, my family had a discussion about putting our old dog down. he's deaf and blind and has dementia that's gotten much worse this year. and he isn't really "living" anymore. i'm not sure he even knows who i am anymore. and it hurts so so bad. i know it's time. but it hurts so fucking bad. i don't want to be the one to make the phone call and make the appointment and solidify the date i lose him forever, so i asked my dad if he could do it. my mom wanted to do it immediately but my dad said he would make the call after my mom's surgeries for her parkinsons that was happening this month. i know my dad doesn't want to put our dog down. the whole thing was brought up in the first place because my mom keeps bringing it up. and it makes her and my dad argue which is not what i fucking want right now. she tends to bring up the subject with my dad and i at the worst times, when im feeling especially terrible. she just had her last surgery yesterday so she brought it up again tonight. the way she brings it up has kind of really sucked for me. i was already feeling especially depressed because everything was just feeling so overwhelming today (stress from thinking about my dog and also hearing that my mom fell on her face and got hurt while i was at work). the past couple times my mom has brought up my dog with me, she's started it off by asking if i had been crying and then when i say that i was, she asks when we're putting our dog down. i don't know why she's doing it like this. i feel upset at her for doing it this way, but at the same time i feel bad for being upset at her because she has parkinson's and just had surgery. even though the surgery went well, i still feel guilty that i'm upset with her.

i couldn't give my mom a straight answer because again, i don't want to be the one to solidify the date, so i told her i'm waiting for dad to make the phone call. she said, "ok i'm going to tell dad." then i went downstairs and cried while she immediately went to tell my dad. i could hear my parents argue about it. it's not a subject my dad likes to acknowledge and my mom has been really pushy about it with him and me. i regret and feel guilty about asking my dad to make the call. i should have just sucked it up and said i would do it. i think i might have to be the one to do it. but it hurts so fucking bad.

whenever my mom talks about it with my dad, she always tries to pressure him by bringing up how sad it's making me. when she does that it feels like im being made into the main "reason" to put our dog down. that if we don't put him down as soon as possible, my mental health will keep spiraling. and yeah, im not doing great right now, but i don't want to keep hearing it brought up over and over like that. i don't want to feel like it's my fault. i know my dog needs to be put down. but i don't want to feel like it's because of me. does that make sense? is that selfish? is the amount of crying i've been doing not "normal" in this situation? it's not like i cry all day. i only do it at night and i try to hide it as best i can. i don't want my mom to see and tell me "this is why we need to put him down now." which she has done before. i don't know. it just hurts so bad.

i haven't been able to tell my mom about how she's been upsetting me. because she'll get upset about it if i do. and i feel bad for being upset in the first place. because i know in the end, these actions she's taking is because she's worried for me. she just. doesn't think things through all the time. she's always spoken before thinking. although im not sure if her parkinson's has made this habit worse. i can't remember if she's always been at this level or if this is something exacerbated by parkinson's. which makes me feel even more guilty about being upset at her. god. everything just feels fucked right now. so overwhelming. i wish i could see my therapist again, but i just can't afford that expense right now.

i've been having more nightmares. been having the stupid sleep paralysis shit. been having more frequent intrusive thoughts of driving off the bridge i go over on my commute or looking at my pills and wondering what would happen if i took everything in the bottle at once. i don't think i would ever actually act on these things, because i love my family too much to have them deal with that kind of hardship. it's just been exhausting for my brain. and some days the thoughts feel closer than others. but that's depression for you. been dealing with it for many years. this has just been one of those real bad times for it. if anyone is actually reading this, please dont worry. i know that's kind of dumb of me to say considering everything i wrote here. but really please don't worry. i just needed a place to put my thoughts and feel like i'm releasing them somehow. im still here. i've had these bad thoughts before and i'm still here. i will still be here. it'll get better. i just need to hold on again.

i just wish dogs lived longer.

[thatsdemko]

never too busy for you - k. mbappé

↳ I do not own this gif. this gif belongs to its rightful owner.

masterlist

v-day collection

requested: y

pairings: kylian mbappé x reader

warnings: established relationship + some google translate French + semi short + wee bit of fluff

a/n: remember if you want a Valentine’s Day imagine or blurb you need to submit it before February 28th, 2023! ps I don’t like the way this ends 😅

he was a busy man. football was his top priority and his love—even if he swore you ranked above the sport. so when February rolled around and you both sat down to look at your schedules, you already had planned that celebrating Valentine’s Day wasn’t going to be in the books.

it wasn’t anything you were super sad about. having been in a relationship with kylian for two years now, there were certain holidays and birthdays that he had to miss, but he always made it up to you. and it wasn’t like you weren’t spoiled or treated like a princess everyday, so you were fine missing out on one day.

so when Valentine’s Day rolled around you both were too occupied to even have noted the date. work was so consuming, you didn’t notice the few coworkers with flowers and candies from loved ones. and kylian was so consumed in football, he didn’t have time to listen in on the semi-romantic conversations his teammates were having.

when he finally got home from practice one evening, you were dead asleep on the couch when he looked at the calendar noticing Valentine’s Day had passed. it was two days ago.

“oh baise moi.” he looked over at you on the couch and then back at the calendar. his life was so busy and he hated that. he could only think of one thing that could make up for lost time together and for Valentine’s Day. (oh fuck me)

—

the next morning you woke up to the smell of sweet pancakes. it brought a smile to your face at the gesture, but it also confused you as to why kylian was still home. he was supposed to be training.

getting up you threw the covers off your body, rushing down the stairs to see your boyfriend shoving chocolate chips in his mouth while flipping pancakes. “aren’t you supposed to be working out?” you asked, noting the time on the clock he was supposed to have been long gone hours ago.

he looked over at you with a smile on his face, “not anymore, mon amour. taking a couple of days off to be with you.” he grabbed your waist pulling you closer to him to plant a kiss on your temple.

you pulled away, looking up with furrowed eyebrows, “why? what happened?”

he laughed, shaking his head “why does something always have to be bad? I just want to be with you.” it was a sweet gesture. but you couldn’t imagine him actually being able to spend a couple of days off from football to be with you. you knew by the end of today he would be itching to get back out there.

uneasy, you nodded along going to make yourself a cup of coffee to see he had already done so. it was done just the way you liked it. a little bit of cream and a little bit of sugar. he remembered.

you turned to face him, coffee in hand, “there has to be a reason why you’re taking a couple of days off, kylian. I don’t believe it’s just because.”

he sighed, you weren’t going to drop it until he actually told you the truth. because you both knew those words were only somewhat true. there was always more to it with him. “we didn’t get to spend Valentine’s Day together. so I want to make up for it.”

a smile formed on your lips. you could care less about missing Valentine’s Day, it hadn’t even occurred to you that the date had passed, but you were excited to spend some well rested time together. you felt like you hadn’t see much of kylian last month. “so what do you want to do today?” you asked and for the first time ever he was completely fine having nothing on his schedule or doing anything.

“whatever you want to do, I’m down.”

with nothing but a clear schedule, you went from movie marathons, to baking sweets, make out sessions, and taking naps. everyday off he had consisted of the same thing, a whole lot of nothing. you figured he’d have broke at some point and went for run or use the treadmill, but he stuck to his promise. he did anything you wanted to do and took some well needed time off. needless to say, he needed that time with you more than he thought.

“I think these past couple of days have been the best days with you.”

“same for me, mon amour. happy very late Valentine’s Day.”

[graneymar]

hiii, could you write a fic Neymar X fem!reader, when they have been together for like a year and in a sort of a secret relationship, because she is not a famous but a law student, and they wanted their privacy.

she is like 25 and he is 30, I love reading about age gap( but not too much ofc)

you could write about their couple dynamic (including fluff but also some dirty talk and them flirting like a lot) and then they get caught by the paparazzi, and everyone find out about her. Maybe when they were on vacation or something.

idk if you want, but you could also include insta post?? do what you feel it’s right !!

thank u if you will! And sorry for my broken English, I’m Spanish 💕💕

#5. NEYMAR: ONE NIGHT IN IBIZA

SUMMARY: above

WARNINGS: some dirty talk

PAIRING: Neymar x fem!reader

Our relationship was quite complicated. I was an ordinary law student, studying abroad and was in my last year, so I barely had time to spend with my boyfriend, especially due to preparing for the upcoming exams. Neymar, of course, had a really busy schedule and whenever he had a few days off, he took every opportunity to not only visit me, but also his family in Brasil. All these circumstances led to us sometimes not seeing each other for weeks. But if we got to spend some time together, we made sure we would make the best of it. Apart from that, I decided it would be the best for us if we didn't announce our relationship publicly. I wanted to build my career myself and not be "(Your first name + last name), lawyer and Neymar Jrs girlfriend". I didn’t want my professors and other students to treat me differently just because I was dating a famous footballer. Neymar never really liked the idea of us hiding ourselves from everyone, but he respected my decision and told me he would wait until I was ready. Still, he let everyone know he was in a relationship, which led to the press and his fans speculating about who the lucky woman was. Going out in public, we always made sure we were surrounded by the few close friends that knew about us, so no one would assume we went on dates and such.

In conclusion, I barely got to see Neymar, and when I did, I never really got him all to myself. The only time we finally were able to express our love was when we decided to stay at home alone.

"Meu Deus, can you believe it’s already been a year?", Neymar sighed out as my bracelet caught his eyes. For my 25th birthday a couple of months ago, he got me a golden bracelet with our initials and the date we got together engraved. I shook my head chuckling, "Time flies. It really does." Remembering we only had a few more days in peace together, the big smile on my face quickly disappeared. His brow furrowed. "What are you thinking about again?" I turned around when I felt warm tears in my eyes. "Nothing babe, I'm fine", I lied. We were currently on vacation in Ibiza, now on a yacht in the middle of the ocean. I inhaled deeply, watching the waves as I tried to calm down and not break down in tears. He hugged me from behind and placed his head onto my shoulder. "Can we please enjoy the time we have left together before going back to normal?", he mumbled. I blinked a few times, making my tears stay in instead of rolling down my cheeks. "You're right." I turned my head to kiss his cheek. He put on his sweetest smile before letting go of me, smacking my bum. My body twitched for a second. Neymar cheekily smirked and finally turned around, laying down to continue his sunbathe. Without making a move, I simply stood there and watched him relaxing.

A few minutes later Neymar took his sunglasses off, tilting his head to my direction. I saw his eyes going up and down my body. I questioningly raised one eyebrow at him. "You don’t know how bad I want you right now." Playfully I rolled my eyes. He put his hands on his lap, demanding to come and sit on it. I slowly walked up to him, but instead of doing what he wished me to do, I dropped myself right next to him. He smirked because he understood that was my way of teasing him. It was our thing, he loved feeling like he had to "chase" me. His hands tapped a random beat on my thighs. "You know, there’s a bedroom inside. We could spend some time there until we arrive at the port."

"Mhm", I nodded, "And how do you want to spend the time there?" He chuckled before hiding his face into my neck. Feeling his breath already made me get goosebumps all over my skin. "First of all", he started, whispering in a low-tone voice, kissing my neck slowly, "I'll throw you onto the fucking bed, then rip off your bikini, sliding my fingers into you until you can’t help but beg me to finally push him inside you. And…" My eyes rolled back in pleasure. The things he said, his hands going up and down my body, his lips on my neck with his tongue sometimes touching it. Enough to drive me insane already. I bit my bottom lip trying to hold back a moan. One thing I hated about Neymar was, he loved turning me on in public. He loved knowing and seeing him how much I needed him. I wouldn’t go into this bedroom with him now and he knew, but this was his kind of foreplay. I now couldn’t wait to get into our hotel room and he was well aware of that. "And the rest is what you’ll get at home after the party tonight." He pulled away and sat up again, laughing at my pissed off facial expression. I groaned in frustration.

"What party are you talking about?" My eyebrows furrowed. "We promised Cris and Bianca we'd go out clubbing with them tonight, did you forget?"

"Oh, right…", I remembered and pouted my lips, "but I can’t wait for tonight." Neymar grinned and pecked my lips quickly. "Quickie as we get ready maybe?" He winked as I giggled.

Said and done. I actually got what I wanted as soon as we entered the hotel room, but we had to keep it short, too short, since we didn’t have much time to get ready anymore.

Before getting to the club, we decided to eat dinner. "How was it on the yacht?", Bianca asked, while Neymar and Cris were talking about some gaming stuff. "Oh Bi, if you only knew! Even though we were in the middle of nowhere and the only people surrounding us was his staff, you can’t imagine how much I enjoyed it. Finally going out with my boyfriend alone, it almost felt like an ordinary relationship." When I first met Bianca I was afraid she wouldn’t like or even hate me since she was best friends with Bruna, Neymars ex, but she soon turned out to be the most supportive of us. "I believe so. It must be exhausting only being able to feel like a real couple when being home alone. How long do you want to wait to finally announce your relationship?" I shrugged, "I don't know at all to be honest. Actually, I'm tired of hiding, but on the other side, I don't want all my clients coming to me just because they know me through Neymar. I want them to choose me because they value me as their lawyer, not because I possibly could be privileged thanks to my boyfriend." I didn’t even notice Neymar and Cris stopped talking and listened to our conversation. "But are you planning to go back to Paris after you finished studying or are you staying there? You know, staying there would be beneficial for your career", Cris said. I stuttered and looked around as I was thinking of an answer. I felt Neymars eyes on me and of course, he wanted me to come back to Paris and move in with him after I finished my studies, but Cris was right. This was something I never worried about before. Neymar noticed I was getting nervous and put his hand on mine. "That’s not a topic for today, we have enough time to think about it later", he stated and threw me a soft smile. Bianca and Cris agreed and changed topics.

Entering the club, we had some drinks before finding ourselves on the dancefloor. Whenever Neymar and I danced, we were careful so we would not get too close. Bianca was always jumping in between us when she thought we went too far. However, we had the time of our lives and actually got drunk at some point. I went to the bar to get us some drinks and scrolled through my instagram for you page while waiting, when an article about Neymar and Bruna Marquezine caught my eye. They were writing about how perfect they were, why they broke up, etc. According to them, Neymar broke up with Bruna because she refused to move to Paris for him, she prioritised her own career. My heart stopped for a second the moment I remembered Cris' question. Hundreds of thoughts ran through my mind. How were Neymar and I supposed to maintain our relationship if I decided I would not go back to Paris? He broke up with Bruna after being together for such a long time, no doubt he would leave me too. My breathing got heavier. I tried to organise my thoughts, but all I was able to think of was Neymar leaving me sooner or later. "Are you okay?", the barkeeper asked, placing the drinks right in front of me. I realised tears were rolling down my cheeks. I wiped them away rapidly. "Uh yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." Bianca made her way to me in order to help me with the drinks. I needed to get out of there. "Bi, I'll go home now. I'm not feeling well", I told her. She looked slightly confused and observed me for a few seconds. "Did something happen? You were laughing and dancing like five minutes ago." I shook my head from left to right and grabbed my clutch. "No, nothing happened. I'm just tired and probably drank a little too much", I answered and faked a smile as I stepped away from her after saying goodbye. Right when I got out of the club, I felt someone pulling me back by my shoulder. "Y/N!", I recognised Neymar shouting after me, "Y/N, why do you want to go home? What’s wrong?" I kept looking at the ground, I didn’t want him to see my wet cheeks. "Tired and drunk. Just need to sleep", I shortly replied after swallowing hard. "You are not drunk. At least not that drunk. I know somethings bothering you. What is it? Talk to me."

"Let’s discuss it later, Ney. Go have fun. I just need some rest", I answered and was about to turn around again, but Neymar held me back. "Hey, don’t act like that now. If you're leaving, I'm leaving." I shook my head. "No Ney, please."

"Yes I will, Y/N. If you want to stay mad for I don’t even know what…", he began, but I quickly interrupted him. "I'm not mad, Neymar, at least not at you." His facial expression showed he was completely lost. "If you’re not mad at me, who are you mad at then? Can you now please tell me what happened, did someone say or do anything?" He kept on asking questions until I couldn’t hold it back any longer. "I'm mad at myself because I don’t know if I can give you what you want and this will make you break up with me sooner or later and I hate myself for letting it go this far but I can’t help it because I'm fucking selfish and… and… I just don’t know what to do." Neymars eyebrows furrowed, he was unable to speak and had a hard time understanding what I was saying inbetween the sobs. "W-Why would I… why would I break up with you? Why are you selfish? What the hell are you even talking about?" I sighed out loud. "What was the reason you broke up with Bruna Marquezine?" This question was enough for him to understand what all this was about. "Y/N, that was a whole other story. Bruna kept on promising me things she wouldn’t do. When you and I got together I knew exactly what I was getting myself into - I wanted this, and I still do. We have a whole year to think about what to do and if you decide to go for your career, I will gladly support you. It’s not like you’re making empty promises." I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. "Neymar, I know you want a family, I know you want someone to come home to everyday. I, on the other side, don’t even know anything anymore. I don’t know if I want to go for my career, damn sometimes I don’t even know if I want to be a lawyer. But what I surely don’t want is you to waste your time on me when I have no idea what I am doing with my life." His eyes filled with sadness before he hugged me tightly. "Meu amor, you're in your mid-twenties. It’s a confusing time. Some of your friends have their own business, others are married or having kids. No matter what you are doing now, you feel like somethings missing, like you are missing out on something. You feel pressured, I get that. You have to make some of the most important decisions in your life right now, you’re afraid to go the wrong way. But you, my love, are an intelligent, smart, independent woman. I know you will make the right decisions. And no matter what you choose to do, I will be with you." He gave me a short yet passionate kiss. "Being in your mid-twenties is shit, trust me, I know." I quietly chuckled. "Stop talking like you're my grandfather, you're five years older than me." Neymar laughed as he softly wiped my almost dried tears away with his thumb. "All I'm saying is I know exactly what it feels like to think that no matter what you do, it’s wrong. And I want to be the last person to make you feel pressured." Without saying a word, I put my hands around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Te amo", I whispered.

"Eu te amo tanto, Y/N", he remained silent for a moment, "Still wanna go home?" I nodded. Neymar went inside to get our stuff and tell Bianca and Cris we're leaving. Meanwhile, I went on instagram again. "What the fuck", I murmured as I saw myself on my for you page. There were photos and videos of Neymar and me outside the club, hugging and kissing. They had to be taken just a few minutes ago. I turned around to Neymar staying behind me already. "We fucked up. I didn't even check if there were any paparazzi", he said looking at my phone screen. As I refreshed the page in shock, I saw even more pictures of myself. "How did they get those?" "Oh, I have these on my story", Neymar admit. He loved presenting me everywhere, even though he didn’t show my face. I raised an eyebrow at him and checked his instagram story.

"I haven’t even seen these pictures. Why didn’t you show me? They're good." He smiled watching his story on my phone. "You know what will even be better now? Not hiding your gorgeous face anymore." My phone started buzzing. I got endless instagram notifications, Neymars fans following me, liking my pictures and commenting on them. First thing I noticed was most comments were complimenting and congratulating me. "Your fans are fast as fuck." Neymar laughed, "See, they love you already."

[royalfriday]

Your soul and my body

Boothill x reader

When we first met .... Ya were mad at me for giving up my human body. I didn't understand why... But now I do know...

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Almost 5 years... 5 years has it been since you two had met.

5 years and you're still protecting your secret with Rappa from Boothill.

You two feel bad for that. But again you two still wondering how he hasn't find out.. since well you know ..he is not a human anymore.

But you two agree to not tell him until you think it's time for this.

Well expect that the day is a week away

You two are close

Even though he wonders one thing

How you haven't changed a little bit in your face or your body in general... You know he can't aged. But you you still the lady he met 15 years ago.

But you two were from different planets and even galaxys. So he didn't ask. I believes that you will age different from others.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

One week later

I AM TELLING THE TRUTH; I CAN CRASH A STAR! I AM NOT A LIAR! WANT ME TO PROOF IT BOOTHILL!

OOOO IF YA THING -

NO!

They stopped to looked at the person that was supposed to not be here until midnight... And well now they were nervous .... and most of all scared... something not soo usual

Miss [yn] you don't have -

No silence Rappa! I left for only a hour and here are two with you bringing the topic about crashing a star ! AND YOU BOOTHILL I THOUGHT WE TALK ABOUT THIS!

... sorry ma'am....but i must say you are the light of the place tonight ~

Yes he tried to flirt again... sometimes you almost forgot that you two are not a confirmed couple.. and that of course make Rappa mad because she ship you two since she was the one to make you two meet

Boothill was the one to make the most steps. You think that he doesn't deserve you and he deserves better than you... why? Well because of that secret of yours.

No! Please!..... let's go in the living room.. boothill i and Rappa have to tell you something serious....

Wait miss yn you don't...

Yes that

....

He didn't know what to say ...but from the face that Rappa had he could tell it was damn serious

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You three were in the "living" room. There the silent was the ruler until you start.

Soo mister boothill...we know eachother for almost 5 years right?

Yeah!

...and you must have noticed some weird things about me

....

....

Yeah i guess?

Well...I and Rappa have something to tell you.. something very important.... It's that I-

There was a crash. Not a very bad...but you look behind and oh ! There are three people!

Who looks like boothill knows

OH BROTHER! HOW YU DOING?!

Huh? You and Rappa looked at each other. None of you knew who those people were...but it seems like boothill trust them. So why not to trust them too?

------------------------------------

Well you learn that they were from the Astra express!

Ms. Yang, Den Hang , And last was March 7 ...... Yea you don't know who in the galaxy names there child like that buuuut who are you to judge? I mean in your home planet you named all the streets after your favourite food, snacks and characters from you favourite childhood series and books

The day went on until it was their time to leave saying that the apologies for taking down the wrong wall.... Well tey were after a silly little wallet thief... and they fall ito the wall ....

Yeah they didn't say much

But the point is that you didn't had a chance to tell boothill what you wanted.

Now you were at your balcony when you hear some footsteps you think it's Rappa since it's a habit of her to follow you. Hehe you still remember the day you take her under you wig. She was so small and weak. A little miracle to protect. And now? A young adult with the power to not only protect herself but also others.

You were soo much proud. Like a mother to their child. And boothill had taje notice of the relationship between you too. As you expect her to talk you were taken by suprise

Hey...

Oh?!

You turn around and meet him

Eemm.. Rappa say you wanted to tell me what you didn't say earlier...sooo mind if i join yu?

Oh! No of course not boothill! Your always welcome!....

....

...

...

-well this is awkward if you're going to just stand there! Why don't you join me here the view of the night sky is quite...

You look up to the shy

Nostalgic i could say..

..it is!!!HA!..

He walked beside you

sooo what do you wanted to tell me ma'am?

Remember the day that we met?

Yes ma'am

Do you remember my face when you tell me why you're not a human anymore?

OF COURSE! You were sooo mad.

Well you see...ee. Well you know that I am more than you a Galaxy ranger...i have seen rappa growing and then you come to our lifes... just a random day.

Yea

You would also notice that i haven't age?

Yea?

You probably think because we are from different galaxys i age different.

....Yea?

Well i.. the truth is that i and rappa have been keeping a secret from you since you joined us ... And that secret is a very important detail about me...

Ohh? And what is that?

The fact that ..i am not a ... human anymore too

???

He looked like you say the most stupid thing in the whole galaxy

You look human to me

.......

You take a deep breath and start talking fast

I died 10 years ago in one of my missions but using one of my skills i get to turn my spirit to stay together and to not disappear in the air and to not let Rappa alone in this world...

...

...soo i am ... A ghost you can say but..

You looked at him

But i prefer spirit.

I get it now... Now all started to make sense. The fact when we first met ya were mad at me for giving up my human body. I didn't understand why... But now I do know... I know... And i do not complain about the fact you hide it...

.... really?

Yes... and i thought i would be alone in this livespan ....

He put his hand on your cheek and you fell into it

But now i know that is not going to come true...

He learn closer and put his lips in yours.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I know i am not alone

.

.

.

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Hello i hope you enjoyed this is my first time doing something like this so let me know you opinion in the comments

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

My Old man's tale about benetint (product) & review:

in summer 2008 i was 14 & my best friend's family took me to Vegas w them. she had only just moved to my school for 9th grade & i hadn't met her older sister til this trip. She was 21 & soooo insanely beautiful like if barbie was a hollister model she had the look so refined in every sense, i was dazzled by her.

& she was so sweet to us, my friends parents went & did their own thing so the whole trip we spent with her but she wasn't annoyed about it at all she seemed content to hang w us & protect us from vile men along the strip.

On this trip i went to sephora for the first time. hadn't heard of it before. it had huge windows so everything was glowing from sunlight & it was sooo overwhelming. my friend's sister liked this brand benefit so i picked out a little starter kit that came w bad gal mascara, high beam highlighter, booing concealer, and benetint.. Let me tell you for the next year i cherished this kit like it elevated me a new level towards Prestiged Adult Woman status. but the makeup was noticeably nicer quality for sure! from my memory at least.

the thing i remember most was benetint cus i wore it soooo much for the rest of the summer & beyond, i stretched that tiny bottle as far as it wld go cus i luved it sm.. but after it ran out i never tried to use it again idk just being a teen moving onto the next thing. But lately i jst rly wanted a goood lip tiiiint cus i dont wanna b wearing lipstick or gloss all the time its too much i just want chapstick but i like a little more color too.. usually i wld use lip liner but it always felt like it wld smudge off so quick n its kinda drying.

so i tried benetint again bcus i remember it being so easy to put on n then just forget about, it didnt get on ur clothes or teeth or nothin. after wearing for a couple weeks i can say this is still tru! i rly like it, very convenient, chapstick goes gr8 over top so my lips r never dry from it. its kind of expensive but it lasts a long time , for me i dnt have much makeup rn so felt nice to get st i actually use ^^ the taste & smell of it are mildly rosey, rly brings me back to those times..

being in vegas those 4 days w my friend n her sis are definitely a core memory for me it was totally surreal. i wish i had photos still but no clue where to find them, my friend's fb account got hacked years ago n had to get deleted, so many photos gone </3 we stayed at treasure island & across the street was this huge mall that was repeatedly playing an ipod commercial with the song Shut Up & Let Me Go by the ting-tings, like... ON REPEAT, ALL DAY & ALL NIGHT, so that song gives me the wildest flashbacls like i'm literally There. In the august heat. i can smell it like. its amazing thank you advertising :)

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thats my story...o and benetint is chill i mean i genuinely wanted to recommend it to ppl who want st simple it looks rly pretty cus until this i was struggling to find anything worthwhile. theres other shades too. Yup. Thanksyou for reading my LiveJournal Entry tonight minasan ^_^ Hope you're well x

-PMD9