#also to answer your question he is canonically single 👍

[cocoapowderpictures]

(sorry in advance for this ask) so um Finly are you single? Just asking no . . . reason at all •///-///•

GUYS NOOOOOOO!! NOT THE WEIRD MALNOURISHED FISH MAN 😭😭😭

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo revengers groupchat

Warnings: suggestive, swearing, 5th grade humour, an unknown femboy is mentioned, Takeomi is homophobic but no one cares, also this has the Sano's and everyone involved or close to them

Desc: Shin gets his first date in like 10 years. Also this is the final timeline but events don't exactly match up to canon so👍

Shinichiro: GUYS

Shinichiro: I'M GOING ON A DATE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Benkei: i don't care

Takeomi: congratulations. it's only been like 30 years

Wakasa: how many times have you started a conversation exactly like this? give up for all of our sakes. we're tired🙏

Takeomi: Shin there's nothing wrong with being single at your big age. it's not humiliating at all

Wakasa: aren't you single?😐

Shinichiro: screw you guys, actually ☹️

Benkei: emoji's are for children. stop using them. you're gonna frown? as a grown man? what's wrong with you

Shinichiro: what's wrong with frowning??

Shinichiro: YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY A PRETTY GIRL ASKED ME ON A DATE

Shinichiro: we're meeting at a karaoke bar

Takeomi: if this happens to be real, do not drink

Takeomi: you get touchy when you're drunk and it's fucking weird😐

Wakasa: girls might think that's weird and creepy

Shinichiro: that was one time and i apologized

Takeomi: i don't give a fuck if you apologized you kissed me you fucking cunt

Takeomi: i don't even wanna talk about it i'm gonna vomit

Shinichiro: it was just a goodnight kiss. for the homies 😕

Wakasa: you stuck your tongue down his throat dude

Shinichiro: we were wearing socks so it was fine

Benkei: you just say shit

Shinchiro: you guys are ruining my vibe rn so i'm just gonna get ready for my date and the future love of my life

Shinchiro: she's so pretty i'm in love with her

Shinichiro: oh man i'm getting butterflies

Takeomi: send a pic

Shinchiro: you'll see her soon enough if things go well

Takeomi: guess i'm never seeing her

Sano affiliated groupchat

Inupi: idk a lot of us in here aren't Sano's and it kind of annoys me that this is what the groupchat's called

Mikey: get that stick out of your ass or leave like it's not that deep

Inupi: shut the fuck up you dwarf

Mikey: i'm the average height for a japanese male

Inupi: "i'm the average height for a japanese male🤓☝️"

Inupi: and no you're not. you're 5'3 and the average height is 5'7

Mikey: at least i have more than 3/4 of my face

Inupi: should you be saying that when you have a history of mutilating people's faces

Inupi: isn't that right Haruchiyo

Haruchiyo: kill yourself

Senju: girls, stop fighting

Emma: guys please not again

Draken: Inupi don't leave, Shinichiro wanted us here for something important so can we be civil for a few minutes

Inupi: whatever

Inupi: where is he anyway he said we should all be online cause of an emergency and he's not even here

Izana: are the old people here?

Takeomi: we're not old

Izana: ok grandpa

Kakucho: what's the emergency?

Benkei: fuck if we know

Wakasa: if i've come here to waste my time i'm gonna twist his dick off

Mikey: why do you want his dick in your hand🤨?

Wakasa: stop playing games Manjiro...

Benkei: is corporal punishment still legal

Mikey: i was kidding 😭

Mikey: also i'm a full grown adult so that would just be assault

Benkei: is assault still illegal

Emma: uh yes?

Benkei: i don't know why i asked because i'm going to do it anyway

Mikey: are your anger management classes even working💀?

Mikey: and lucky for me i'll be in Paris tmr for a fan meetup so😋

Shinchiro: hi guys

Wakasa: what do you want

Takeomi: i bet he fumbled

Mikey: fumbled what?

Takeomi: he had a date

Inupi: what's the emergency Shinichiro?

Shinchiro: i need you guys to answer these questions as quickly as possible

Shinichiro: what's a femboy??

Emma: now what does that have to do with the urgent emergency you told us you had?? i missed my pregnancy yoga classes for this? SHIN?

Senju: why is everything you do so unserious

Baji: Haruchiyo's a femboy

Haruchiyo: no the fuck i'm not you piece of shit

Mikey: you're not?

Haruchiyo: no??

Mikey: but you're pretty, and you look like a girl so?

Haruchiyo: no... but uh, thanks ig

Senju: girl stand up. this is embarrassing😕

Shinichiro: guys please this is serious i can't hide in the bathroom forever

Emma: what are you doing in the bathroom??

Shinichiro: i'm on my date right? so we're having a great time and we're singing and drinking and i tell her what a pretty girl she is and she says "girl?" and i'm like "yeah you're a pretty girl" and she says she's a femboy and i don't know what that means like what does "boy" have to do with anything so i went to the bathroom to ask you guys this question real quick because she said we're going to her apartment after this (!!!i think for sex!!!) but i'm just trying to clear up what she meant by the boy part

Baji: LMAOOOOOOO

Izana: it means "she" is a he

Izana: that's not a girl, it's a feminine presenting man. hence the description femboy

Mikey: I'M FUCKING CRYING 😭😭😭😭

Baji: can you even call yourself femboy when you're like in your 30's? that's a grown ass man

Takeomi: what's up with you and all these suspiciously gay situations

Wakasa: i think the universe is trying to tell you something

Benkei: how did you not know he was a guy

Shinichiro: because she's pretty! like a girl

Haruchiyo: *he's a guy

Shinichiro:

Baji: why's the cat sad. that's fucked up

Kakucho: it's basically how Senju looks like a boy most of the time and Haruchiyo looks like a girl

Takeomi: how did you not see a bulge or something

Shinchiro: she's wearing a skirt

Mikey: *he

Wakasa: and nothing was swinging out?

Izana: what kind of question is this

Emma: stop being vulgar Waka-nii😐. this is such a stupid conversation

Wakasa: aren't you a grown woman tho i feel like you can handle me talking about dicks

Shinchiro: holy shit she's a he

Inupi: can we go now

Baji: a hole is a hole

Emma: Baji ew😕

Takeomi: the difference between them is that one makes you gay because you're fucking a guy in the ass and the other one is normal

Baji: same difference

Takeomi: did you read what i just said

Mikey: he's illiterate

Baji: you can't insult me with a word i don't know the meaning of

Inupi: Shin what's the verdict?

Shinichiro: well...this is still a very pretty person so...

Takeomi: bro??

Shinichiro: is it that big of a deal tho?? i don't think it is

Shinichiro: yeah, this is fine

Shinichiro: is it all that gay if you're attracted to someone who looks like a woman?

Takeomi: if you're gonna fuck them, YES???

Benkei: he's lost it

Wakasa: i'm gonna need you to be sure about this because do you even know what to do? you're gonna embarrass yourself. you're not educated on gay sex at all

Baji: i can help with that

Draken: if i'm being honest i don't think you should take advice from anyone here at all

Baji: but i'm an expert

Mikey: we don't wanna know anything about what you and Chifuyu do 😐

Baji: yes you do

Inupi: google exists. just buy lube and condoms holy shit you guys are overcomplicating this so much

Mikey: of course you would know😒

Inupi: yeah i would know because i'm gay?? fucking idiot

Senju: are buttholes self lubricating? i can't be sure since i have constipation and my buttholes as dry as some tree bark

Haruchiyo: why would you tell us that

Takeomi: Senju watch how you talk. girls aren't suppose to say stuff like that

Senju: fine, next time i'll say anus to be more ladylike

Takeomi: and to answer your question, yes. because when you poop there's residue

Takeomi: you hear that Shin

Takeomi: shit in the ass

Takeomi: don't do this

Haruchiyo: you just told us you don't wipe your ass properly

Emma: i hate everyone here so bad omg

Draken: i think it's our cue to leave

Shinichiro: fuck it. i'm gonna do it

Shinichiro: thanks for the help guys! it is what it is at this point 😁

Shinichiro: bye!!

Mikey: i knew he'd eventually succumb to homosexuality

Takeomi: well since i'm homophobic i can't be his friend anymore

Benkei: no one cares

Benkei: Shinichiro successfully wasted our time once again

Benkei: i hope he gets an STD

Mikey: woah 😭

Emma: you're so fuckung dramatic😐

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Yo! Good morning/evening, hope you are fine^^💝. I wanted to ask you a question but I was afraid that it may bother you or something (you know..that feeling when you are scared that you might disturb someone or being an unwelcome person) but yeah I will ask you since i was serious about your answer for some time now so I hope I'm not annoying you or something *feel free to answer only if you wish^^. You seem to know the characters pretty well, you are quite capable and great at reading and understanding them, one of the things I'm serious about is what do you think would make someone qualified enough to be with malleus? Do they have to be of the same species?certain Reputation, stature or traits?(sorry can't help it since I can't rest until I know everything about what interests me and figure it all out😅). Thanks for giving me some of your precious time I really like your blog, you're amazing💜

No worries, you’re not bothering me at all ^^ I love to talk about my hyperfixations www

Now, I know a lot of fans (particularly on the EN side) like to ship Malleus with their OC and especially with Yuu so I want to first make it clear that my response is NOT meant to invalidate those Malleus shippers. Whatever I say here is based on my own interpretation of canon lore (and let’s be real here, TWST won’t ever confirm if anyone is romantically interested in Yuu because it might not work with how some players view their own relationship with that character). In fanon, anyone can be with anyone, but in canon there are very specific in-universe rules and expectations laid out for Malleus so these are what I will be referring to.

I also want to emphasize that the final traits I discuss in this post do NOT reflect Malleus’s personal tastes or views. He has little say in what kind of an individual his spouse would be, so his own preferences are not speculated about or taken into account here. The traits I will be bringing up are based on what I believe the lore implies are the desirable traits for those marrying into the Draconia royal family.

We got it? Good 👍 Read more below the cut!!

Firstly, I’m completely disregarding the ideas of “Malleus can love whoever he wants to love”, “Malleus can scare people into accepting who he loves”, and/or “Malleus can change the law so he can marry who he loves” (a la Sultan from Aladdin or through some other Disney magic or logic). Here’s why:

In general, those solutions for “high stakes issues” are too simple, and that has never been how Twisted Wonderland tackles complicated problems. Just look at every single OB boy’s backstory. They’re so complex that they aren’t totally resolved by the end of their books; these problems persist and are long term things each of them are working on addressing. This is also true of the politics TWST introduces to us; Leona for example explains how there is social pushback and resistance to the idea of infrastructure reform because the culture of the Sunset Savanna stresses harmony with nature. This has made it difficult for them to adopt new technologies because real politicians in their world have to seriously weigh their cultural values with their health and societal progress. The only time there are really easy solutions are in events or vignettes where the emotional stakes are not super high, but who Malleus marries is, in fact, super important since this will entirely change the life of a main character and his country.

With that first bullet point in mind… No, Malleus cannot love whoever he wants to love. Certainly, he may feel affection for another but he can never truly be with them. He is royalty and the only heir to the throne of Briar Valley. It follows that he is expected to marry for political reasons/to better his nation. This is a non-negotiable obligation for him.

Rather than saying, “Malleus cannot scare people into accepting who he loves”, I think it’s more accurate to say Malleus knows he probably shouldn’t. I mean, yes, he may be upset about his S/O not being accepted by his people but I feel that is discrediting a lot of the loyalty he has for his own country. As a kid he may have thrown tantrums when he was upset and potentially harmed staff, but as a 178 year old he has a much better understanding of decorum and maintaining it in spite of his own grudges. For example, even though he personally dislikes Leona he still commands Sebek to apologize to him because, at the end of the day, this could harm Briar Valley’s relationship with the Sunset Savanna. That’s not to say that Malleus can’t be petty (he definitely is)—but implying he would be petty toward basically his entire country just because they would disapprove of the one he loves?? (We know this would likely be true because Sebek’s parents faced similar backlash when they got together.) I feel like his own sense of awareness and responsibility for his country, crown, and people would override that. As an example, Malleus states that he has never been in a car before because the senate would be against it and often kept Malleus in the castle. Someone of his power could easily ignore them and sneak out and do whatever he wanted, yet the dialogue implies Malleus didn’t. He obeyed his political advisors even when he was younger and arguably much more immature. Malleus might not like certain decisions made about his life but it sounds like he ultimately complies with them.

Continuing from the previous point, let’s say for the sake of argument that Malleus does scare everyone into line. What about his public image and the mental health of his S/O? Maybe Malleus can frighten people to not talk out of turn to his face, but he cannot control what people whisper about him behind closed doors or to treat his S/O well or like they actually like them. Not only would they be alienated (away from their own home and forced to adapt to a new one) but they’d be treated oddly by others too. What kind of reputation is that for Malleus? To be a tyrant king who throws a hissy fit anytime someone talks about his partner in a way he doesn’t approve of? With a spouse who is not at their best mentally because of the constant ostracization? (This is similar to what Leona experienced in his childhood.) I don’t think Malleus would want to subject anyone to that kind of life, especially not one he loves. And again, this attitude would be the vast majority of his people. It’s not like it can be avoided or resolved in an easy manner, especially when the people of Briar Valley have proven to be against change.

Lastly, Malleus would not change the law so he can be with whoever he wants to. To begin with, I doubt this is a unilateral position the senate would approve of. But okay, let’s accept that Malleus is royalty so his power overrides the advisors’ power. So he effectively just changed a law for a very selfish and personal reason rather than changing something to actually benefit his people. That doesn’t feel in-character for him, not when Malleus seems to understand that it is the duty of those in higher status to help those below them rather than themselves (see: Riddle’s Suitor Suit vignettes. Malleus has acted selfish before, yes (who remembers Endless Halloween Night? His Dorm Uniform vignettes? I do.)—but never at the cost of changing the status quo of his country. (Book 7 is not included here because he’s in a very distressed emotional state then; this “new law” scenario posits that Malleus is in a normal state of mind.) This is a major change—change which Briar Valley, its people, and most importantly, Malleus, are not ready for. You think there wouldn’t be social pushback against this? From a society that has become complacent with its own way of life and is still isolated from the rest of the world? That Malleus, someone who struggles greatly with accepting life changes himself, could enact such a big change so easily? (On a more technical level, you don’t just pass a law and it instantly becomes tangible or real, there is a process of approval and then implementation.)

Additionally, it’s made clear in Ghost Marriage that “[Malleus] cannot enter into an engagement lightly”, which is why Sebek goes in his place. Eliza, the Ghost Bride, is royalty (er, albeit dead) but it seems that royal status is not enough to qualify as his partner. Maybe this is because she’s dead and doesn’t have anything of value for Briar Valley (no land, no people, no political power), but it could also mean that the partner has to be given the thumbs up by other parties.

All that being said, here are some of the conditions I think would have to be met for Malleus’s future spouse:

Has to be someone of equal or at least high status. This means they also have to be a royal or at least of nobility. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who is referred to as a duke.

Because of how self-contained Briar Valley is + nocturnal fae having beef with diurnal fae, I imagine his partner would have to also be a nocturnal fae. This would also solve the MASSIVE lifespan difference between fae and non-fae because at least fae would be far closer to each other even if their lifespans fluctuate but subspecies.

Someone suited to rule by his side. Being married into any royal family is no joke—it comes with the expectation that you will contribute somehow, and the partner should be fully equipped to enter the world of politics with him.

Piggybacking off the last point, I think mental fortitude is also a prerequisite. This is because being a politician (navigating the social climate both within your country and outside of it, keeping your people and colleagues happy, maintaining public approval, managing laws, dealing with potential attempts on your life, etc.) can be very stressful and can hurt those who are faint of heart or not prepared for the responsibility. Leaders have to make tough calls at the drop of a hat, and they have to be ready for it.

Has a lot to offer in terms of benefits to Briar Valley as a country. This could be in terms of resources, connections, and/or political savvy. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who acted as a diplomat for Briar Valley.

Vetting and formal approval from the senate. lmao good luck with that

Has to be able and willing to have a child. They at least need an heir to the throne to succeed Malleus. (However, knowing how exclusionary and conservative as heck the senators are, I doubt they would accept anything but a biological child 💀)

Preferably someone with powerful magic or is skilled at magic already so as to lessen the chance of “tainting” the bloodline with a weak mage or a non-mage.

I believe that Briar Valley would prefer someone with old fashioned values like them, not someone pushing for massive reform. They have a culture that is resistant to change and a history of fighting for resources with outsiders, so if Malleus’s new spouse tries to introduce a bunch of technology or open its borders to other countries (even if they have good intentions), the people + the senate may oppose them. His father is implied to be open-minded, but he at least understood that such change isn’t reasonable without time and effort dedicated to the endeavor.

All that being said 💦 I think that this topic is actually less about what Malleus as an individual wants and what his country, his people, and, yes, even his asshole senators, want. This is basically an arranged marriage situation so that their country can maintain power and relevance. It’s about the collective and what Malleus must do for their perceived security and prosperity.

[adelrambles]

I am so sorry I promise I’ll stop spamming you about Bishop now (maybe.)

Do you think Bishop could ever be in a healthy relationship? What would the dynamic be like with evil Bishop versus Fast Forward Bishop?

And no I don’t mean Stockshop. 😭

Oh no worries at all I'm enjoying your questions!! Please feel free to spam to your heart's desire. Sorry it took so long to get around to this one, I have admittedly not put much thought into Bishop in romantic scenarios, so I had to think on it a bit!

So, could Bishop ever be in a healthy relationship? Short answer NO. NOT AT ALL LOL

Slightly longer answer, there is some potential depending on how you like to interpret Fast Forward!Bishop. I think it's impossible for Present-day Bishop to be in any sort of healthy romance (and I'll go into way more detail than neccessary about that below 👍) but if you take FF's presentation of the character at face value, there's certainly a possibility.

So long answer, Bishop is one of the single most self-centered, unexamined people to walk the damn earth. There are a lot of factors that go into why he would be just, the absolute worst in a relationship, but the biggest issue is he doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself. If we throw everything else out and consider a hypothetical where he enters a relationship for the relationship's sake, he is not capable or willing to see things from a partner's perspective. In any disagreement he will be unwilling to consider he could be wrong, and will go to great lengths to ensure the other person concedes or backs down. He is a paranoid control freak who would not stand for anything less than being agreed with and obeyed, and he is perfectly willing to break someone down to achieve that. And in a scenario where, indeed, his interest is actually in the other person, we know he has a terrible possessive streak. As long as his interest holds, there is no out for the hypothetical partner. He is going to be emotionally and mentally abusive at best.

Moving more to the particulars of what he'd want a relationship for, it's worth pointing out that Bishop is very single-minded and relentless in his ultimate goal. I find it very difficult to consider a scenario where any single person would be considered worthwhile enough to distract him from that. We've seen him willing to sacrifice personal friends in-canon for the sake of his experiments, (if you ascribe to the theory that J. Finn was mutated on purpose to some degree,) so his work is ALWAYS going to come first. But that's the nicer option, because there is always the possibility that he would consider a relationship if it benefitted his greater goal (OR fed his ego tbh.) In which case, he's only in it for what he can get out of the other person, and the second they've outlived their usefulness to him, well-- I guess it depends on how much sensitive information they know, by that point.

But, okay! Let's consider President Bishop. He's certainly less likely to lure in a partner just to use them and then dispose of them, so he has that going for him. With him, there is a lot of room for how you want to interpret his "change of heart." You could take it at as presented in the show, or read more into his actions based on what we know about his past. Personally, I prefer the latter, but I'll examine both for the sake of thoroughness, and also for funsies.

So let's assume Bishop is being genuine in how he acts, first. In this case, I think there's a decent chance he could learn to be a good partner, though I don't think he'd start out that way and I doubt it'd come naturally to him loL. His job requires a lot of time and attention from him, and he is always going to prioritize it; he is, after all, "a bigger picture kind of guy." Kindness does not come naturally to him, so in times of stress he may default to meaner actions. However, he is also pretty effective in learning and adapting, so with good communication he probably won't make the same mistakes too often. In this scenario I think time constraint really is the biggest obstacle, given his job.

Now, assuming his Good Guy act is just a mask for politics? He's still pretty damn toxic. Bishop's tactics have changed, but his personality remains pretty similar. I'm not sure his pleasant demeanor goes that deep, once you get into more than small talk. It's a necessity for his job, but he still appears to be cold and utilitarian underneath it. He still thinks he's right about everything, and based on the insidious ways he phrases his own backstory to always shift blame away from himself, (even throwing Stockman under the bus, STILL, just to look better in comparison,) he's gotten a LOT better at making it feel like he is always in the right. What you've got is a Bishop who can lie, persuade and charm better, who also still doesn't care about much beyond protecting his territory and using the people around him. This presents us with a partner who, unlike 2000s-era Bishop, is far FAR more subtle with his abuse. And again, heaven forbid he actually genuinely has an interest in his hypothetical partner, because now he has galactic-wide surveillance and public sway on top of the immortality, and they're never getting away.

I hope that answers to satisfaction! Honestly while it's not my cup of tea it is really interesting to examine this facet of his character, so thank you for the question!!

[fictionalsillies]

Favorite scene/storyline with your F/O in canon? Or in your personal canon with them? with Sarah

Thank you for the question ! 👍

I adore the Fort Lucenne Mall scene that happens during Bea’s route : seeing her laugh and being happy is something that always brings me joy … she is so precious and I love her ://) ❤️

In the little fanon lore I created ? Well , I have actually been thinking about a few scenarios in my head and there is one that I really like … it’s a bit bittersweet though :

I imagine it happening during Bea and Sarah’s senior year of High School ( the two of them used to be friends since elementary school , and Sarah also knew Mae and was pretty close to her as well ) , the time when Bea’s mother unfortunately passed away …

To say that she was devastated by the news would be an understatement , and since her and Mae hadn’t been in touch in a long while the only people she talked to were her two friends Jackie and Sarah .

Sarah would visit her home and keep her company as much as she could every single day , and during an especially sad afternoon where the two of them were in the bedroom huddled together I imagined a dialogue between them that goes something like this :  

“I just got the news yesterday . You know Dad hasn’t … been able to work since Mom died , so we’ll probably need to sell this house in a few months and go live someplace else , more economic or something … he didn’t take it well .”

“I … I’m sorry Bea … maybe if I can do some extra work part time this week I could get more money to -“

“No .”

“But -“

“Sarah . You’ve already done way too much . It’s enough , really … you shouldn’t have been involved in this mess in the first place .”

“Bea , if I’m helping you it’s because I want to do it , not because I feel obligated to .

I care about you , and I wanna make sure that I can be there for you , especially when you need help .

You’re just … very important to me .”

I like to imagine that that’s the moment when Bea started to have feelings for Sarah , which was a lot for her to handle back then since she had never had a crush on a girl before … 

This interaction brought the two of them even closer , until they eventually confessed their feelings for each other and became official :D 

Sorry if this got long , I might have gotten a bit into it while answering this ask ;C;