#also this scene is in chapter 3 of where i end & you begin

[novlr]

I have a bad habit of never finishing writing I start - I work hard on a story, make it to 3/4 of the way through, then lose passion for it and start something else. I know the key to overcoming this is discipline, and I’m trying very hard to make myself keep going with my current story that I like very much and spent so much time researching and outlining, but it’s a struggle every day to make my writing goal. Any advice for how to re-ignite writing spark or how to push through to the end?

We can lose our drive to write for a lot of reasons. It often indicates a growing maturity as an artist — you understand the craft better and your own (current) limitations better, and so you begin to feel overwhelmed in a way you didn’t before. It can also be that external anxieties are getting in the way or simply that you’ve lost interest in your current project. 

Hope is not lost. Read on for some tips on reclaiming your writing spark. 

Shift gears

Sometimes, all you need to reignite your writing spark is to engage your brain in a different way. If you’re struggling with your novel, take a break and try writing a poem or a piece of flash fiction. Or, you could try drawing sketches of your characters, a map of your story’s world, or some possible outfits for your climactic battle scene (it doesn’t have to be good. No one’s going to see it). 

The trick is to stay creative but to approach your work from a different angle. 

Change location

If you’ve been trying and failing to write at your desk, surrounded by crumpled up dreams drafts and last week’s candy wrappers, you may be suffering from an environment with stagnant energy. Try taking yourself on a writer’s date: go to a location that fits the tone of the project you’re working on (lux hotel lobby, seedy theatre bar, the wilds of a nearby park), and see if that gets your creative wheels turning. 

Dress [in]appropriately 

In Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg has a chapter called “Blue Lipstick and a Cigarette Hanging Out Your Mouth”. By this she meant, “Use outfits and props to step outside yourself and get a new perspective”. You might find it helpful to have a special “writer’s sweater” that you only wear when you’re writing or to dress like someone confident and cool enough to smash writer’s block in the face. 

Do some soul-searching

What’s really going on here? If the above tricks aren’t doing it for you, there may be some bigger issues at play that are inhibiting you from connecting to your writing spark. 

Write letters

I’ve written about the restorative powers of letter writing before, and I’ll mention it again: handwritten letters are a great way to get the words flowing. You don’t actually have to send them when you’re done (although you can if you want to); the recipient doesn’t even need to exist. Simply by putting your thoughts down in a low-risk way, you’re unclogging your creative pipes. 

Join a writing group

There’s power and accountability in numbers. You can find writing groups online, through community centres and writers centres, or by sticking a flyer up in a bookshop and starting your own. There’s even a Novlr writing community on Discord where we share tips, struggles, and just generally talk craft! By inviting other people into your writing practice, you’ll have some support and encouragement to keep you going. 

Find your writing spark with writing prompts

The internet is awash with writing prompts. These can be a helpful way to get something down on paper and stretch out your writing muscles. Whether it’s a premise, an opening line, or a character study, writing prompts can give you a gentle, creative push and even inspire new work.

Experiment with found structure

If writing a traditional story feels like pulling out your own teeth, try a found structure story. This means using fictional “found material” like shopping lists, calendars, to-do lists, ticket stubs, banking records, and so forth to create a narrative. 

Here’s an example: Imagine a week in which a bride-to-be prepares for her glorious wedding, is left at the altar, rages in misery, and ultimately emerges healthier and stronger. Now, write her shopping list for each day of that week. How does it change from beginning to end? How much emotional detail can you communicate to the reader through the items that appear on these lists? This can be a fun way to create a story without the anxiety of writing it.

Set a petty life goal

I am a proud champion of the value of pettiness as a motivator. There are plenty of noble reasons to write: to share powerful stories, to help readers in need of healing, to inspire others to write stories themselves, and to draw attention to important social issues or minority identities. 

There are also some really inane and selfish reasons to write: to become more famous than your ex, to appear on TV and make your ex regret everything they’ve ever done to you, to have your book made into a movie and receive casting consultation rights and pitch your favourite actor in the lead role and allow them to take you for coffee as a thank you. But the thing is… these are the motivations that are really going to pull you out of the dirt when you need it most. Find the silly driving goal that really gets under your skin and hold onto it for dear life. 

Forgive yourself

Many writers experience a lot of shame when they aren’t writing as much as they feel they should. Needless to say, this shame only makes the writing harder. Allow yourself the space to take some time when you need it, process your struggles, and return when you’re ready. The page will be waiting when you get back. 

[myimaginedcorner]

SCALES OF JUSTICE - GAME AVAILABLE ON HG AND STEAM!!

Hello my dear readers,

WE DID IT! I wrote a book. A full book! It's now available on the Hosted Games app, with 600k words waiting to entertain you on a morning, afternoon, evening, or night when you decide to submerge yourself into a world of fantasy and adventure!

You also can play the game on Steam! Here's the link -> https://store.steampowered.com/app/3089710/Scales_of_Justice/

I am so, so grateful to everyone who has been here for me during these past 3 years. What began as a shy attempt at dreaming has grown into a marvelous project that taught me so much, brought me so many new experiences and skills, and is going to end with my first publication as an author. I cannot be more grateful and excited. I hope this is only the beginning of an amazing journey.

Rather, I know this is one. This is not the end!

DESCRIPTION:

Journey into the magical world of Therania, a place where heroism and villainy are paths of Fate that can be foreseen in one’s destiny. Join forces with four eccentric individuals with puzzling goals and fight, plan, persuade or run, as you attempt to get a grip on your own legacy!

Scales of Justice is a 600,000-word interactive novel, the first volume in a planned series by Julia Owl. It's entirely text-based–without graphics or sound effects–and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination.

Rumours circulate the streets of Capital. Rumours of an artefact, as dangerous and powerful as one can only fear. Some claim it’s capable of twisting one’s true nature, shaping it much to the owner’s whim; others say that it can identify a soul’s essence, putting the Ritual of Fate in a tight spot for the first time in centuries. The mage who made it is unknown; whispers in shadows only talk about a labyrinth, set somewhere hidden to protect its power. Many want to get it; many others, to destroy it. You? You are none of those–you just want to live.

And yet, your (almost) safe and peaceful life as a humble adventurer is threatened by a letter with today’s date on it, written in your mother’s hand…

Play as male, female or nonbinary; gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual.

Meet four distinct characters, with stories and ideals that highly differ from one another: a runaway heir, a rogue knight, a lost alien, and a foreign leader. Romance, befriend or doom them, and watch their tales shape your own.

Choose one of the three species available and discover your own worldview and the world's view of you. What is it like to be a human, a half-elf, or a half-satyr in this vast realm?

Fight, conjure, heal, plan, or persuade–choose your path and deal with trouble in your own way.

Buy yourself a horse! You want one, don’t you?

Learn, think, doubt, conclude. This world has a pre-written destiny – will you abide by it or challenge it? Who are you, and who will you become?

Who is worthy of holding the scales?

Content Warning: This piece of interactive fiction was not written with children in mind. The story contains mature themes and scenes of violence, including cult ceremonites, kidnapping, and fighting.

USEFUL LINKS:

If you want to know a little more about this project and read chapters 1-5, I'll leave the link to the game here -> https://dashingdon.com/play/myimaginedcorner/scales-of-justice/mygame/

If you want to discuss anything on CoG's forum, I'll leave the link for SoJ here:

- WIP Thread -> https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-scales-of-justice-new-project-announcement-and-demo-release/101088/16

- Official Release Thread -> https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/scales-of-justice-will-you-challenge-fate-or-follow-it/163500

If you want to send me a more extensive feedback, here's my email -> feedbackscalesofjustice@gmail.com

[bucketbueckers]

I'D RATHER PRETEND

CHAPTER SIX

tags: @angryflowerwitch @avvwritesstufff @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @bueckersg1rl @l0verl4ne @clouded-whispers @dolliest-thena @katemartinlvr @numberonepartyanth3m @glamourdaya @pbbucks @unadulteratedcyclepaper @paiges-1vur thelightknight21 wc: 18.3k notes: masterlist (sorry, nothing funny today, this chapter and last nights game actually destroyed me) but holy word count who cooked here 😹 i fear the last half of this chap is kinda rushed but writer's block was going crazy and i truthfully only had plans for like THREE (3) specific scenes...if you can't tell, planning, pacing, and the timeline are my biggest opps 😾 but i'm grown so i do what i want!! also, smut warning! if it's not your thing, it's at the very end and you can skip over it without missing anything super important. i'm not a smut writer, i just work here, but i put pen to paper and it just came out (no pun intended) 🤷‍♀️ sorry for making this as long as the chapter itself, but as always, lmk what you think and i hope you enjoy 🫶

‘The Hard Launch Heard Around the World’

For college basketball fans, Christmas has come early this year. On June 21st, Paige Bueckers and Tess Kennedy’s long-awaited hard launch was finally shared to Instagram after a month and a half of speculation, fan theories, and less than subtle interactions online. Kennedy shared a collection of pictures with the caption “here’s to tess kennedy’s worst kept secret. thank you for coming into my life when you did.” Many of the comments consisted of undecipherable keyboard smashes, such as one commenter’s “TESS AND PAIGE? AJSFKFJKDSJK”, but overall, Kennedy’s comment section was full of congratulations, support, and praise.

Bueckers, similarly, shared a collection of photos, although her caption was a lyric from Frank Ocean’s “Sierra Leone.” If you have been following Kennedy’s journey thus far, you may remember that the first ever soft-launch photo she posted to her story included another lyric from this song. Bueckers’s caption, reading “And her pink skies will keep me warm,” is seen as a call-back to that moment, with many fans accepting this as the confirmation that Bueckers and Kennedy have been seeing each other all along.

Their hard-launch precedes their Bose endorsement. The two of them starred in a commercial showcasing Bose’s newest product, where they became known as Mrs. and Mrs. Bose. Some critics noted how specific the timing was, arguing that their hard-launch was just a stunt to further promotion for Bose’s product, although supporters rallied in defense. Commenters noted that Bueckers and Kennedy spent most of their time this offseason in different states – this Bose ad was the first time they were able to be in person together, so they surmised that it was just the optimal time to announce it. Another fan also pointed out that their history speaks for itself.

Regardless of the timing, one thing is for certain – Bueckers and Kennedy are the next “it” couple. Their influence is beginning to spread outside of the sports world, and many people believe that their openness is going to be pivotal in breaking barriers and promoting acceptance for queer athletes. 

-Penelope Lancaster, Bleacher Report

JULY 2023

The months after their hard-launch go about as well as anyone could have expected. Once Tess and Paige made it back to Brooklyn and Minnesota respectively, things were…nice. They finished June out strong, in near constant contact and on FaceTime. Tess kept her feelings close to her chest. She knew there was no way Paige was into her in that way. She wasn’t the type to be tied down, and Tess had to respect that – even if she was one for commitment, Tess doesn’t think that she’d be her first choice.

All she can think about is their agreement. Paige had so confidently said that she could do casual. She wasn’t the one who caught feelings. And as far as Tess is concerned, she isn’t sure if her reputation is worth how complicated her life has become. She’s not the one to pretend to be someone she’s not; not the one to pretend to feel a way (or not feel a way about something). Her relationship with Paige used to be something that brought her great comfort, but now she can’t help but feel like she’s ruined something perfectly fine by allowing her feelings to get the best of her. Now, she’s not telling a story to the public or selling a ruse. Bree was right – she is lying to Paige, and that’s the worst part of it all. Paige doesn’t deserve her dishonesty, nor her inability to keep things strictly business as she’d once promised.

So, June was okay. They talked, Tess spiraled, but this is her life now. Tess would eventually have to learn to keep her feelings at bay.

Then July hit.

July was like a blessing in disguise, the perfect opportunity for Tess to work on herself and hopefully get rid of her lingering feelings for Paige. She could get over her. It’s not a big deal. So what if Paige was the first person she’d ever felt romantically for? Tess is new to all of this – she can’t honestly know perfectly what liking someone felt like. The denial wasn’t particularly effective, but if Tess keeps speaking it into existence, then it has to come true, right?

July was when summer practices started back up. Paige flew back to Storrs the first week. Tess was supposed to fly back to Columbia, but given her injury and the fact she wouldn’t be able to contribute much to practices, Coach Staley gave her the all-clear to stay in Brooklyn and soak up as much PT with Terri as she could. Craig was qualified, although the both of them knew Terri had a different approach to rehab than Craig did. 

Paige gets busy almost immediately. She’s fresh off an injury and her role on the team has shifted due to other’s injuries, so she’s swept up into an incredible amount of extra practice, film watching, and learning a different part of the game. Tess gets…the complete opposite of busy. She still does PT three times a week, meets with Yvette, but with Paige gone, all of her free time becomes free again, and she doesn't even know what to do with herself. Fortnite, as stupid as it sounds, makes her think of Paige. Her feelings are still too fresh and the mere thought of the game reminds her of the countless hours she and Paige wasted away on it, laughing, flirting, and celebrating their wins. It’s not a break-up, but it feels oddly like one. Tess used to be stronger than this. That was the worst part.

With Paige’s time being occupied by things out of her control, Tess uses it to her advantage. She tries to get over her, spaces out her responses when Paige does get the time to speak. With her knee in better shape, she tries out yoga. Tess can’t quite master the idea of clearing her mind. Paige’s name echoes like a mantra in her brain, the image of her blue eyes blinding. No matter how hard she tries, all Tess can think about is the pressure of Paige’s lips on hers, the way she’d guided her jaw just how she liked, the weight of her hand on her and the way she was able to feel exactly how she made Tess’s heart race.

She’s so fucked.

It hurts, Tess has to admit. Covering up lies with even more lies. She’s not completely sure what happened to turn her into someone who couldn’t tell the truth. It hurts even more to know that she’s not just hurting herself, but she’s hurting Paige, too, who’s not even at fault for any of this.

Hey I got a couple hours free tonight Facetime? I miss you

[Delivered: 4:32pm]

Are you okay?

[Read: 7:53pm]

sorry, busy tn idk if i can

It’s cool Do you know when you’ll be free?

idk got a lot going on

Okay Call me when you can

[Delivered: 7:54pm]

Tess feels like she’s going to throw up.

AUGUST 2023

Paige doesn’t give up, but Tess can tell she’s losing patience and hope.

She gets a two week break after the end of summer practices, then she and her teammates are heading overseas for their Europe tour. They’re playing a couple of exhibition games. Back in June, Paige had been so excited to send her pictures and tell her all about it, but they’re a day into their trip and she hasn’t heard a word from Paige. It’s for the best. Paige needs to lock in for her games. She can’t get caught up in Tess again.

Tess ends up tuning in for one game. She can’t help herself, even though she ends up turning it off after halftime. There’s a noticeable difference in the way Paige is playing. Tess knows it’s because of her. She’s a little more sluggish, sloppy in her passes, missing a lot more than she usually did. Bueckers, first exhibition game since her ACL injury, the commentator noted. She’s not quite warm yet, but we all know she’ll be on fire once the season starts. Tess knows better than that. It’s her fault.

Still, Paige tries.

You busy?

[Delivered, 5:43pm]

Zagreb is beautiful [3 Attachments] Text me when you can

[Delivered: 6:38pm]

[Read: 9:01pm]

sorry. just got free

It’s okay FT? Can’t sleep

i can’t, have to be up early tomorrow you should get some rest. it’s late

I don’t care I miss you I feel like we never talk anymore Did I do something? Whatever it is I’ll fix it I promise

you didn’t do anything just got a lot going on

Me too

[Read: 9:03pm]

Okay cool 😂 Let me know when you’re not too busy for me Goodnight Tess

[Read: 9:04pm]

SEPTEMBER 2023

July and August were busts – no matter what she did, she wasn’t able to keep her mind off of Paige. Distancing herself wasn’t very effective, but she shouldn’t expect results after two months, right? Maybe she just needed a little more time.

Paige texts her once in September.

I just wanted to say I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or if there was something I said that hurt you. I meant it when I said you didn’t have to be scared with me. I still mean it. If there’s anything at all I can do or say to make you believe that, please let me know. I don’t like arguing or how we left things and I hate feeling like I’m not fighting hard enough for you. I shouldn’t expect you to drop everything to talk to me. You’re busy and you have a lot going on. Saying what I said was unfair. I’m sorry. But I miss you. Please let me know how I can fix us. I don’t care what it takes. I’ll fly out if I have to, just please don’t shut me out

[Delivered: 2:48am]

OCTOBER 2023

Paige gives up in October. It brings Tess more anguish than she was accounting for.

On the 20th, Tess texts her happy birthday. Paige doesn’t bother reading it. Paige doesn’t post anything for her birthday, either.

Tess wonders if she fucked them up for good.

Maybe it’s better this way.

NOVEMBER 2023

Ghosting Paige wasn’t the right decision at all.

A little obvious in hindsight, but at least Tess can say she tried. Five months apart didn’t magically fix Tess’s problem. It made it worse. She still feels the same for Paige, if not stronger, but affection becomes a difficult pill to swallow when it’s poisoned with guilt and shame. After her injury, she should have learned that pushing people away does more harm than good. Paige didn’t deserve that, but maybe this is who Tess Kennedy is – someone who’s blind to what’s in front of her, someone who leaves when it gets hard, someone who avoids her problems entirely, someone who treats the people she loves like disposable objects. Maybe it was better for Paige to find that out early on before their contract expired and Paige wanted to continue being her friend.

On the 17th, Tess’s birthday, she gets a lifeline.

Happy birthday

Paige’s text is like a knife to the gut. Tess twists the blade herself when she notes the lack of excitement, the lack of emojis. Her message is bland, more like an afterthought, and Tess can’t even be mad – she deserves it. She debates leaving it on delivered, much like Paige had left her message on delivered, if only to spare her from this constant back and forth cycle of will-they won’t-they. But her fingers move faster than her brain does.

thank you

[Delivered: 11:11am]

[Read: 11:11am]

And much to her surprise, Paige responds.

My mom wants to know if you’re still coming for Thanksgiving She bought you an ugly sweater to wear for family photos

There’s a lot of things Tess can say to that. Family photos is enough to make her chest tighten, her stomach roil with anxiety, her throat constrict. It takes everything in her to not break out into sobs, but she bites her lip hard enough to draw blood as she types out her message.

you want me there after these last five months?

Tess doesn’t think that was the right thing to say. Paige types for a long while.

I want what’s best for the story My parents think we’re together We need to keep up appearances

Tess would have preferred it if Paige just left her on read. Delivered. She would have understood if Paige just blocked her all together. She would have preferred if Paige had texted her at any other day, because it’s her birthday, damn it; she’s turning 22 and she’s sitting in her bed crying because this is all she and Paige are, anymore – a story, an appearance to keep up for the sake of their images. But it’s her fault, isn’t it?

i’ll be there

Okay 👍

Tess thinks that’s the end of their conversation until she gets an email. It’s an airline ticket, a roundtrip – she’d be flying out the 22nd and leaving Minnesota early on the 25th. They’re first class. Tess feels like she could throw up again.

you didn’t have to buy my tickets

I promised I would I don’t like breaking my promises

Tess has no retort for that. She sends Paige a half-hearted thank you, not expecting a response, and powers off her phone.

NOVEMBER 22, 2023

Tess spends the entire plane ride nauseous as hell. She dreads her reunion with Paige, knowing that seeing each other will only hurt them more. She’s not even sure if fixing them is possible, but she knows she’ll have to give it a shot. She gets four days with Paige. That should be enough to smooth things over. A part of her knows Paige won’t bend as easily as Kamilla, Bree, and her parents did. Paige was so understanding, but she didn’t take any of Tess’s bullshit. Tess might be making amends until Christmas, if they last that long.

She finishes off the rest of the ginger ale she’d asked the flight attendant for. It does little to soothe the nausea. Guilt usually isn’t something that can be cured with a drink, alcoholic or otherwise. Guilt is one of the things you can’t run away from, even for someone as good at running away as Tess is.

The seatbelt light flicks on as the plane begins its descent onto the Minnesotan soil. Tess’s anxiety returns tenfold. It feels as though time is moving slowly. The plane lands. It idles for a moment, then everyone is standing and reaching for their carry-on. Tess has hers in hand and is walking down the aisle as soon as they click open. It doesn’t take her long to locate her suitcase at baggage claim. Then, she’s back in the crowd, eyes scanning the airport for any sign of Paige. There wasn’t a message on her phone, but she was holding out a little bit of hope.

Instead of Paige, she spots a tall man holding a sign with her name written on it. Tess’s heart all but falls out of her ass as she walks towards him. The realization that Paige didn’t come to pick her up shouldn’t hurt her as much as it does. She should have expected as much. But seeing it brings on a fresh wave of pain that she just wasn’t ready for. The man recognizes her, lowering the sign with a beaming smile, and he reaches out for a hearty handshake. “Hey Tess! I’m Bob, Paige’s dad. It’s so good to finally meet you.”

Tess shakes his hand, smiling at him, and hoping that it’s convincing enough. “Likewise, Mr. Bueckers,” she says. Her voice doesn’t falter, but she can tell she’s about to crash out. She takes a deep breath as Paige’s dad waves his hand.

“Bob is fine,” he corrects her. “C’mon – my truck’s this way. Paige went out to pick up some last minute things for you. She should be back at the house by the time we get there.”

Tess hides her grimace. She’s not fully confident that Paige actually did that, but she’s not going to voice that thought to her dad. The simplest truth of the matter is that Paige just didn’t want to pick her up. Tess can’t blame her.

Once they’re loaded up, Bob makes small talk that Tess tries her best to contribute to. He doesn’t seem to think anything’s wrong, so Tess surmises she must be doing a pretty good job. As he speaks, her mind keeps drifting back to Paige, feeling a guilt and shame so strong that she’s unsure if she’ll be able to feel anything remotely positive ever again. How do you hurt Paige Bueckers? Her heart is made of solid gold, but perhaps the issue is her heart is a few sizes too big for her body. Her heart is bigger than Tess herself; Paige gave her everything, no strings attached, and Tess crushed it into small pieces and stomped it out.

That thought alone makes her nauseous all over again. She was so worried that Paige would hurt her, not the other way around. Life has a funny way of biting you in the ass. Tess wonders how socially acceptable it would be to jump out of your fake girlfriend’s dad’s moving vehicle and leave yourself for roadkill. She determines that it’s probably not very acceptable, so she tries her best to get her shit together while she still can.

The Bueckers’ live in a quaint little townhouse, two-storied and a light beige in color. Bob pulls into the driveway next to two SUV Jeeps – one black and one red. He grins at her, nudging her shoulder. “Paige’s home. You excited?”

Tess almost laughs in disbelief. “Yeah,” she lies. “Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Well, let’s not keep her waiting.”

Tess will admit she sounds like a broken record, but she genuinely thinks she’s about to throw up all over the Bueckers’ driveway. She adjusts her backpack over her shoulder and pulls her suitcase out of Bob’s truck bed, glances at the door, and takes a deep breath as she follows the older man inside.

Inside, it’s warm and cozy. Tess can distinctly make out the smell of cinnamon and nutmeg. Bob calls out for his wife, who calls back with a cheerful, “In the kitchen!” Paige’s step mom is a tall woman, wearing a festive pair of leggings and an apron over her shirt. She slides off her oven mitts, having just pulled out a pie.

“This is Tess,” Bob states. “Tess, this is my wife, Moe.”

In lieu of a handshake, Moe pulls her in for a gentle hug. “So nice to finally meet you,” she says genuinely. “Paige talks about you all the time.”

Tess’s heart falls out of her ass and she chuckles worriedly, giving the older woman a squeeze. “Good things, I hope.”

“Nothing but,” Moe confirms. “It’s like y’all been together forever. Tess this, Tess that. It’s kind of sickening.”

At Moe’s brutal honesty, Tess laughs, the first genuine one in almost five months. It wasn’t even that funny, but Tess is so far off the deep end that anything helps. “My mom would say the same about me,” she says.

Moe lights up with laughter of her own, grinning widely at Tess. “Alright, I’m sure you’re tired from your trip here. Paige is upstairs. She can help you get settled in. We don’t have a guest room, so you’ll have to bunk with her. No funny business, okay?”

Tess smiles to hide the way her heart stops. She’s shared a room with Paige before. Granted, they had two separate beds, but the room sharing is not an issue. The issue is in how Paige will probably suffocate her with a pillow once night falls. “No funny business,” she agrees, and with one last smile, Moe directs her to the stairs and informs her that Paige’s room is the first on the left.

Tess takes a deep breath before she heads upstairs. She’s been through worse. She tore her ACL, underwent surgery, and crashed out so bad she almost killed herself. She doesn’t bother reminding herself she’s been crashing out for the past five months and she’s in no better shape, but that’s not the point. She can handle Paige. She can say she’s sorry. She knocks on Paige’s door and she hears some shuffling inside before the door opens, and after five months, she comes face to face with Paige once more.

The shift in Paige’s demeanor is noticeably different. Her jaw is tight, her blue eyes unusually dull. Even her body language is far more reserved. She leans against the doorframe, one hand on the doorknob, and her mouth pulls into a natural frown. “Hey,” she says, surprising Tess. Her words lack any bite, but it hurts because her words lack much of anything. If the both of them were five months younger, Tess is sure that Paige would have pulled her into a hug by now, probably whispered an excited, “Hey, ma,” or pressed an affectionate, “Missed you,” into her shoulder.

But they’re five months too late, and all Tess can do is wince as she responds with a quiet, “Hi.”

Paige glances at her, her eyes dismissive and disappointed. She sighs, taking a step back and allowing Tess inside. “You can just leave your stuff over there,” she says, pointing next to her desk where a space has been cleared. Tess does as she instructs, depositing her suitcase and throwing her backpack haphazardly on top. Wordlessly, Paige crawls back into bed, sitting so close to the edge that there’s more bed than girl, which is usually a difficult task for a six foot athlete.

“Is this what we’re doing?” Tess asks softly, her fingers shaking, and she knows she has no business asking Paige that when she was the one who fucked them up.

Paige scoffs, looking up at her again. Her gaze hardens, her lip curling into an unfamiliar scowl. “You had five months to figure that out,” she says harshly. “Don’t ask me shit now.”

Tess laughs weakly, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Okay,” she concedes.

“Something funny?” Paige asks.

Tess averts her eyes. “...No,” she says after a beat. Paige hums, an annoyed noise deep in the back of her throat.

Tess isn’t sure what to do. She’s standing in the middle of Paige’s childhood bedroom, feeling like every bit the fool she undoubtedly looks like. She can’t sit next to Paige, not when she can feel the anger radiating off her in quiet waves. She can’t go back downstairs with Drew and Paige’s parents. They’d ask why they weren’t together, and Tess isn’t sure how much more lying she can take. Paige glances back up from her phone, scanning Tess’s features, and she stands with a huff. “You take the bed,” she says. “I’m gonna get stuff to sleep on the floor.”

“You don’t–”

“Stop,” Paige says instantly, her voice breaking. Tess shuts her mouth, staring at Paige, and she looks agonized. Her eyes are glassy, face pinched, and Tess feels like a jackass all over again. “Just…stop, okay? Stop arguing. I’m gonna get a blanket and the air mattress and I’m gonna sleep on the fuckin’ floor ‘cause I can’t share a bed with you tonight and pretend like everything’s okay. It’ll probably be another five months before I get an apology from you, but that’s okay, right?” She laughs humorlessly, turning on her heel, walking backwards to the door. “S’okay. I guess I was stupid to think anything else. I was right. Tess Kennedy’s too fuckin’ afraid to get close, and when she’s scared, she goes back to what she’s used to. And apparently that’s bein’ an asshole to everyone around her. You don’t get to do that shit with me. Not today.”

Paige slams the door behind her, and all Tess can do is stare at where she stood in disbelief.

Dinner that night is a torrid affair.

Bob and Moe seem to sense that something’s off with Tess and Paige. Out of politeness, they don’t mention anything, but Drew seems none the wiser to the tension at the table. He rambles excitedly about Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and how excited he is for Christmas. Tess tries to listen to him, she truly does, but she can’t focus on anything but the argument that she and Paige had. Honestly, a better descriptor is just Paige yelling at her and Tess taking it, but that’s neither here nor there.

Tess barely has an appetite, but she shovels her food in her mouth anyways, not wanting to be rude. Paige hasn’t said a single word to her since Moe came upstairs to fetch them for dinner. Even then, Paige hadn’t so much as looked at her. The worst part about it is that Tess understands why. Paige is genuinely a better person than she is. If someone treated her like Tess treated her, Tess would have made it everyone else’s problem immediately. If they thought her post-injury crash out was bad, then they’d be unprepared for the post-ghost crash out.

Bob distracts her from her racing thoughts as he clears her throat. “So, Tess…” She looks up, resembling a deer caught in headlights. “How’s physical therapy going? I saw you rehabbed with a WNBA team. That’s really exciting!”

“Oh,” she says, pushing around a piece of chicken on her plate. “Um, it was really good. Felt like I progressed a lot with Terri. I work with the team trainer now since I’m back in Columbia. He gets the job done, but I do miss the Liberty, you know?” She chuckles softy, willing her nerves to dissipate.

“I bet,” Bob agrees. “When do you get to play again?”

“I should be cleared by March,” she says hopefully. “Just in time for the last March Madness games. Provided we get invited or win the SEC championship. LSU is really strong, so…gotta take it game by game.”

“Smart,” Moe states. “Never count your eggs before they hatch, right?”

Tess nods. The table falls into a tense silence, only the sound of forks scraping against plates filling the room. Paige suddenly huffs. She stands up with her plate, her chair making an awful noise against the floor as she pushes it back under the table. “I needa take a shower,” she says, not waiting for a response. She walks into the kitchen to clear off her plate, walking back through the dining room with a frustrated expression on her face as she rushes upstairs.

Bob and Moe share a concerned glance. It’s Drew who breaks the silence when he asks, “What crawled up her butt and died?” Moe is quick to reprimand him, although it seems like her heart’s not really in it.

Tess clears her throat and stands, too. “Um, dinner was delicious, Moe, thank you. I should uh…probably go check on her.” Moe thanks her quietly. Tess washes her plate quickly, placing it in the strainer to dry off, and she heads upstairs after Paige.

Paige’s door is wide open and Tess walks in cautiously. The blonde rifles through her drawers, pulling a pair of shorts and a tank top out. She’s still pissed. Never in the seven months that Tess has known her has she ever seen Paige be this angry. When Paige turns, seeing Tess behind her, she clenches her jaw and walks out wordlessly. Tess feels her heart drop as she listens to the bathroom door close.

Her chest tightens. She feels like she could cry even though it would do nothing for her. Paige is the only one with the right to be upset. Instead, Tess takes a deep breath, burying her face in her hands for a few, calming moments before she moves to her suitcase and pulls out sleepwear. She scrolls on her phone while she waits for Paige to get out of the shower, and when she finally does, Tess averts her eyes as she stands. Paige doesn’t say anything to her as Tess makes her way into the bathroom.

The water is scalding hot. It makes Tess feel a little more centered, but it does little to wash away the grief and the shame. She tries not to think about it as she cleans herself quickly. She dries off, redresses herself, and when she walks back into Paige’s room, she’s already curled up on the air mattress and is scrolling through her phone. Tess glances at her, frowning, and shoves her dirty laundry into a separate compartment in her suitcase before sliding into Paige’s bed.

Her pillow smells like her. Tess wouldn’t expect anything else, but it makes her feel closer to Paige despite the literal and metaphorical distance between them. Her purple comforter is soft. When Tess looks around, she notes the various posters of NBA greats – Kyrie, Lebron. Diana Taurasi and Sue Bird are also there. Basketball is Paige’s life, her entire reason for breathing. When they lost to South Carolina in the NCAA tournament, Paige was distraught, obviously. But that anger and sadness only pales to what Tess observes in her now as she tries to pretend she can’t hear the way Tess breathes next to her.

Tess takes a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling. “Paige,” she says into the darkness of the room.

Paige doesn’t respond. For a brief moment, Tess wonders if she fell asleep, but she knows better. Paige is breathing too fast to be asleep, coming in uneven bursts. Then, Tess thinks she’s just ignoring her. Then, Paige surprises her. “What do you want, Tess?” she asks, her voice breaking.

“I’m sorry,” Tess says without hesitation.

She hears Paige laugh, but there’s no enjoyment in it. “Are you?”

“I am,” she says. They’re both quiet for a moment. She hears Paige sniffle and her heart breaks all over again. “I mean it. I’m sorry, Paige, I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I shouldn’t have pushed you away when all you’ve done was care for me. I’m sorry for making you apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong. This is all on me and I could sit here and apologize for the rest of my life and it would never be enough.”

Paige shifts on the air mattress. Tess cocks her head, glancing down, and Paige is already staring at her. The moonlight streaming through her windows reflects off of her. Tess could paint her face by memory. She knows exactly what she looks like, where every single freckle or blemish or crease exists. She knows the exact shade of her eyes, the degree at which her nose upturns slightly, the way her nostrils flare when she’s annoyed. Tess could describe Paige Bueckers in such great detail that a blind person could recreate her visage. Until now, Tess has never seen Paige this way. Her lips are pulled in a constant frown, her jaw tight, her eyes a few shades grayer. Tess never wants to see Paige look this desolate, let alone because of her.

“Sorry doesn’t fix anything,” Paige says after a few agonizing moments. Tess deflates. “Sorry doesn’t fix the five months I spent losin’ my mind, wondering what I did wrong.” She studies Tess’s face once more, her lips pursing and her gaze hardening. Paige pulls her blanket up to her chin, flipping on her opposite side, putting her back to Tess.

“How do I fix us?” Tess asks, her voice nearly a broken whisper.

Paige lies unmoving on the air mattress. Tess should know better than to expect a response. But when Paige admits, “I don’t know,” Tess thinks she would have preferred the silence.

NOVEMBER 23, 2023

Thanksgiving is a terrible holiday.

Conceptually and historically, it leaves a lot to be desired, though she can understand how many American families would enjoy getting together in one place, eating a huge dinner, and watching sports. It’s supposed to be a day where everyone can come together and rejoice, tell each other what they’re thankful for and all that sappy shit, but Tess never bought into it. Many of her teammates would complain about going home for Thanksgiving and having to listen to an uncle or two rant about women or politics or whatever the fuck – it always ruined the mood. Tess never thought that those uncomfortable Thanksgivings would be something she had to be subjected to.

When she wakes up in the morning, Paige isn’t in her room. When she goes to the bathroom to splash some water on her face and do her morning routine, Paige isn’t there, either. And when Tess walks downstairs into a flurry of early morning chaos – Moe and Bob rushing around the kitchen and preparing dinner, Drew tidying up the living room – Paige isn’t there either.

“Morning, Tess!” Bob greets happily, grinning at her from where he’s cheffing up the turkey. She returns his greeting, though it’s a little half-hearted. “Paige went for a run. She should be back soon.”

“You guys need a hand?” she asks instead, wanting to be useful. Moe and Bob have welcomed her into their home. The last thing she wants to do is be an ungrateful guest, especially when their daughter hates her guts. Tess is going to make an honest effort to get back into Paige’s good graces. Even if she never forgives her, she’s going to make it up to her. That much she could promise.

“If you could help Drew clean the living room, that’d be great,” Moe says. “There’s too many people in the kitchen right now.” She shoots Bob a knowing glance and he laughs, raising his hands defensively.

Tess smirks wryly and makes her way into the living room where Drew is dutifully dusting off the coffee table. He wastes no time before he puts her to work, directing her to the vacuum cleaner (Tess just gets the impression he didn’t want to vacuum), and together, they get the living room all cleaned up for the guests. They tackle the dining room next. Drew and Tess return to the living room once they finish, sitting on the count and awaiting Moe’s next instructions. Soon, Paige returns from her run – Tess knows she no longer has the right, but she can’t help but look at Paige as she walks in. She’s dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a tank top. It’s unfair how pretty she is, shiny with sweat and flushed. Tess has to avert her eyes. Paige only greets her parents before rushing upstairs. Tess hears the shower click on.

“What’s wrong with you and Paigey?” Drew whispers to her.

Tess glances at him, a somber smile on her face. “I messed up and hurt her feelings,” she tells him honestly. “She’s pretty upset with me.”

Drew looks at her curiously. “Why’d you do that?”

His blunt question makes Tess chuckle. That’s a question she’s been asking herself, too. “I like her a lot,” she admits, the first time she’s ever said those words out loud. It feels like a weight is lifted off her shoulders, though she’s still crushed under everything else. “I like her a lot and it makes me do stupid stuff.”

“Mom says you should never hurt the people you love,” Drew says smartly.

“She’s right.”

“Did you say sorry? And did you bring her a cookie? Cookies always help.”

“Do they?”

Drew nods, humming as he turns on the TV. He scrolls through the channels until he settles on some cartoon Tess has never heard of. “Paigey likes cookies,” he states. “Chocolate chip ones. They’re her favorites. She always says you can’t be sad when you’re eating a cookie.”

At that, Tess can’t help but laugh. “That does sound like something she’d say,” she concedes. The taps on the armrest of the couch mindlessly, thinking. She turns to Drew. “Do you think your mom would let us bake her some? Right now?”

Drew turns off the TV without another word, standing as he calls, “Mom!” Tess stands to follow him, sighing. She did not expect him to move so fast. The kitchen is much cleaner than it was earlier – Bob went outside to put the turkey on the smoker and Moe remained, preparing the roux for the mac and cheese. Moe hums as Drew walks in. “Can me and Tess bake some cookies right now?” Moe looks as though she’s about to protest, but Drew beats her to the chase. “For Paigey. She’s sad.”

Moe softens, looking over at Tess, who flushes under her stare. She hopes her face looks as apologetic as she feels. Moe sighs. “Yes, make it quick. I’ll need the oven soon.”

Drew pumps his fist in the air as he rifles through the cabinets, looking for the ingredients. Tess lets him take the lead on most of that as she leans against the counter. She feels Moe’s eyes on her again, and she turns her head, meeting her gaze. “Everything okay?” Moe asks knowingly, her voice quiet.

Tess smiles sadly. “I hope they will be,” she says. Moe raises a brow, clearly expecting more, and Tess swallows. “She’s not happy with me. I hurt her, and honestly, I’d be pissed at me, too.” She picks a loose thread on her shirt. “I’m gonna make it up to her. I just…” Tess sighs. “She’s my first…girlfriend. My first anything, really – I don’t know what I’m doing. But she makes me want to try and that’s scary. I’ve never felt this way for anyone before.”

Moe is silent for a moment, thinking about her next words. “You’re beating yourself up pretty bad,” she notes. Tess almost laughs because she truly has no idea. “I’m not gonna lecture you. But, you know, Paige is my kid. No matter how old she is. She has so much love to give. Don’t take advantage of that. One day, she’s not going to wait around.”

Tess nods. “I know,” she says. She opens her mouth, trying to find more to say, but her words fail her. Moe gives her another knowing look, her lips curling into a smile. Drew returns with flour, sugar, and all of the other supplies and he and Tess immediately get to work. He’s a little messy with the flour and definitely steals most of the chocolate chips, but he’s a joy to spend time with. Drew reminds Tess so much of Paige – that thought alone makes her queasy again. She has to tell herself that they’ll be okay. Delusion and manifestation are a thin line, right? Paige isn’t the kind of girl to hold onto grudges, even if she should.

Once the cookies are out of the oven, Drew helps her select the best looking ones to take to Paige. He salutes her like she’s going off to war and Tess can’t help but laugh at him, feeling strangely like she is about to walk across a field of landmines. She takes a deep, stabilizing breath before she walks up the stairs, plate of cookies in hand. She knocks on Paige’s door and opens it as soon as she hears Paige call out, “Come in!”

Paige is reclining on her bed, phone in hand and freshly showered. She looks up as Tess walks in with a meek smile, holding out the plate. “Are those…?”

Tess exhales deeply, taking Paige’s curiosity as a sign to move closer. “Yeah. Me and Drew made them. He said you can’t be sad when you’re eating a cookie.” That’s enough to make Paige crack the slightest of smiles. Tess gives her the plate, explaining, “They’re fresh out, so–” but Paige is already reaching for the one on top, dropping it with a yelp of pain. They stare at each other as Paige sucks on her finger before they break out into laughter. It’s slightly awkward, but it’s relieving, and the situation isn’t funny at all but everything has sucked for five months so it’s all just stupid. “Sorry. I promise I’m not trying to kill you.”

Paige chuckles again, resting the plate on her lap and letting the cookies cool off. She shuts off her phone, glancing back up at Tess. Her expression is guarded, like she still doesn’t fully trust Tess, but there’s a new openness to her.

“Can we–”

“Do you–”

They both speak at the same time and Tess laughs as Paige scratches the back of her neck. “Come sit?” Paige requests softly. Tess studies her features, the earnestness in her eyes, and she nods shyly as she rounds the bed to sit on Paige’s left side. She makes sure to leave a bit of space in between them, unsure of where their boundaries lay after all this time. “You first?”

Tess nods again, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. “I know you said sorry doesn’t fix anything, but I want to try, if you’ll hear me out?” Paige stares at her for a long while before tilting her head, giving her the all-clear. Paige reaches for a cookie again, checking the heat, before lifting it to her mouth and humming at the flavor. “I was spiraling again,” Tess says slowly, once she’s found the words. “Overthinking every single thing. I was confused. There was so much going on in my head and it was awful because there’s nothing anyone can do about it. I know the solution to it – it’s too risky, and I can’t lose everything I have. Not again. I shouldn’t have shut you out, but isolating myself is the only way I know how to deal with my shit. I thought I was protecting myself, protecting you, but I only made it worse.”

Paige doesn’t say anything, still chewing, and Tess keeps rambling. “I’m so sorry. Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it. I hurt you and I keep hurting you and I don’t – I don’t know why or how but I just do and you don’t deserve that, Paige. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for this, but if you never forgive me, I wouldn’t even be able to be mad about it.” Tess laughs humorlessly. “Whatever it takes, I’ll make it up to you, that much I can promise. Just…please, give me another chance?”

Paige gazes at her, her eyes wide and seeking. Tess has to fight every instinct to turn away, to break eye contact, but she needs Paige to know that she’s serious. Finally, Paige relents, a sort of somber half-smile quirking on her lips. “I’on like being mad at you,” she admits. “Arguing. Ignoring you. But…I just –  we agreed to communicate. You promised me that you wouldn’t do this by yourself. I’m upset you broke that promise and our agreement, but I understand why you did it. Just wish you hadn’t ‘cause we coulda fixed whatever it was. Easily. I woulda made time for you; shit, I did make time for you, and you threw it back in my face. That shit hurt.”

“I know,” Tess whispers. “I would feel the same way, too. You have every right to be upset with me. I’d be mad if you weren’t mad at me.”

That makes Paige laugh. It’s full, from the belly, and all of the tension in the room disappears. Paige is quiet for a moment before she speaks again. “I’on know about forgiveness right now,” she says honestly. “We gotta work towards that. But I don’t wanna be mad anymore.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Tess says softly. Paige smiles at her, her knuckles brushing her hand, the touch electrifying. The relief is nearly overwhelming. Things aren’t back to normal, but they’re as close to normal as they’ve been in five months, and that’s all Tess can really ask for. She then remembers where they are and exhales deeply. “I, uh, I think Moe might need a hand in the kitchen.”

Paige refocuses. She clears her throat. “Yeah. Okay.” They both stand, Paige holding onto the plate of cookies, but before they can leave the room, Tess stops her with a hand to her wrist.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, her throat bobbing. “For hearing me out.”

Paige’s smile grows, turning into something tender despite the reservation in her eyes. “Of course.” Then, Tess can almost feel the shift in the air as Paige’s eyes flash with mischievousness. “Just don’t do that shit again or you can go spend Thanksgiving with the Ionescus.”

“Paige Madison!”

After their much needed conversation, the energy in the house almost immediately changes. Tess feels like her breathing comes a little easier since she doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around Paige. When they made it back downstairs, Moe instantly put them to work in the kitchen. Both Moe and Paige pretended to not see Drew and Tess’s excited handshake to celebrate the fact that the cookies worked. Tess and Paige sat side by side as they peeled the potatoes for the mashed potatoes, quietly catching up on all of the things they’d missed over the last five months. Tess thought that revisiting those memories would hurt a little more, but being honest with Paige helped a lot. They’re working on moving past this, and while Tess does have much to atone for, she fully intends to put in the work to earn back Paige’s trust.

As soon as the potatoes are peeled and ready, there’s a knock at the front door. Moe leaves to get it and returns with a family of four in tow. Tess doesn’t recognize them, but when Paige goes in to hug each of them, she assumes it must be her mom’s side.

“Tess, this is my mom, Amy, and my step-dad Brian,” Paige states, some lingering fondness in her tone. Tess grins as she shakes their hands, greeting them. “And these idiots are Lauren and Ryan.” Immediately, Lauren and Ryan start talking over each other as they drag Paige, but the taller blonde struggles to hide her amusement as they squabble. “Guys, this is Tess.”

“Your girlfriend,” Ryan drawls, cooing dramatically. Lauren snickers.

Paige, to her credit, doesn’t react much, but a light flush settles on her cheeks as she smiles at them. “Yes, my girlfriend,” she says. “Where’s yours?”

Lauren hisses, murmuring ouch under her breath, while Ryan rolls his eyes and Tess giggles. “Not fair. You guys U-Hauled.”

“I actually specifically told her I’d do anything but U-Haul,” Tess cuts in. Paige scoffs, but grins. “It’s nice to meet you both.” 

Moe then kicks the four of them out of her kitchen and Paige drags them into the living room where Drew is watching TV. Everyone disperses, settling in on the couch or the futon. Tess hardly has the time to make a decision before Paige takes a seat in an armchair, pulling Tess haphazardly into her lap. Her siblings don’t pay any attention to them as they argue over the remote, trying to set up the Playstation. Tess glances at Paige with an amused look, though also slightly confused. She’d thought she would have needed to grovel a little more before Paige would want to be close to her, but she’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Problem?” Paige asks nonchalantly, adjusting Tess so she sits a little more comfortably.

“Nope,” she says. She ignores the slight crack in her voice, but Paige doesn’t have the same plan to. Paige grins smugly and Tess rolls her eyes. “You’re insufferable.” Paige merely pinches her hip in response. Once Paige’s siblings have the Playstation set up, the five of them take turns split-screening Fortnite, integrating Tess almost seamlessly into their dynamic. While two play, the other three chat and play cards. Paige declared early on that Monopoly was firmly off the table, not wanting to sit through Lauren and Ryan’s inevitable argument when one or the other went bankrupt.

Tess settles in easily with Paige and her siblings. She finds herself smiling more than she thought she would, pressed against Paige’s body, and maybe she’ll admit that Thanksgiving isn’t so bad when you have good company. She feels lighter than she has in five months and she couldn’t think of any way today could get any better.

Paige’s hand rests low on Tess’s waist, splaying across her stomach as she pulls her in closer, chin hooked over her shoulder and grinning at the sight of all of her siblings together. Tentatively, Tess rests her hand over Paige’s, relaxing when Paige gives her a gentle squeeze. “You happy?” Tess asks softly, tilting her head so Paige can hear her. She can feel the smile that Paige presses into her neck.

Paige’s voice is muffled against her skin, but she shivers at the way it reverberates through her entire body. “Yeah. I am,” she admits, her tone full of affection. Her grip tightens on Tess ever so slightly. “I missed you.”

Tess’s throat bobs with emotion, feeling her chest tighten. “I missed you, too,” she says honestly. And when Paige’s lips brush against her skin, almost imperceptibly, Tess gets the feeling that they’re a lot closer to being okay than she’d thought.

Thanksgiving dinner that night goes a lot better than the night before. The chatter is lively, food is passed around, and they all link hands in prayer before digging in. Everything is delicious. Tess would have gone for seconds if she wasn’t trying to save space for pie. Even after their plates are cleared and Tess has to unbutton her jeans just so she can sit comfortably, the nine of them remain at the table, sharing stories and jokes. Paige’s hand finds her knee under the table, almost unconsciously, and Tess’s subsequent smile is real. She should be alarmed by how well she assimilates into Paige’s family, by how well she plays the part of girlfriend. She should be alarmed by the fact she’s not pretending at all, that this is just the soft, simpering idiot that Paige turns her into with the simplest of smiles.

When everything is said and done that night, Tess is crawling back into Paige’s bed, the smell of her shampoo and perfume still fresh on the sheets. The air mattress has been lying untouched since the night before. Tess is struck with the realization that she doesn't want Paige sleeping on the floor tonight, but she can’t think too much about that because Paige is walking back into her room, her hair damp over her shoulder as she squeezes the excess water out with a towel. They share a soft smile. Tess still thinks that Paige is the prettiest woman she’s ever laid eyes on.

“So,” Tess begins hesitantly, folding her hands over her stomach as she reclines back on the bed. Paige hums, urging her to continue, running her brush through her hair. “I heard through the grapevine that there’s a Thanksgiving tradition where you tell your friends and family what you’re thankful for.”

“Yeah?” Paige asks, an inquisitive noise building in the back of her throat.

“Mhm,” Tess responds, glancing at Paige, who meets her eyes through the mirror on the wall. Her lips quirk up into a smile. “Am I allowed to say I’m thankful for you?”

“Depends,” Paige teases. She leaves her hairbrush on her dresser and takes a seat at the foot of her bed, pulling on a pair of socks to ward off the late-November Minnesotan chill. “Do you mean it?”

“I do,” Tess says, completely honest. Paige’s eyes scan her features for any hint of a falsehood. Finding nothing but earnestness, her smile grows, an almost bashful flush settling on her cheeks. “I’m serious. I know I’ve been a jerk–”

“Not the word I’d use–”

“Shh,” Tess laughs. Paige raises her hands in defense. “But I’m glad you’re here, that you’re in my life. You didn’t save me, but you made it easier to want to save myself. I don’t make it easy for you, but… I don’t know – you take care of me. I just hope I can repay the favor one day.”

“S’not transactional,” Paige states. “Don’t need you to ‘repay’ me. Just want you to be happy.”

“I am.”

Paige smiles at her, a lone dimple popping out, and Tess truly can’t help the way her heart beats a little faster. “Good.”

There’s something about the way Paige lingers, her gaze expressive. “Paige,” Tess says, almost nervously. She hums, leaning back slightly, awaiting her question. Tess clears her throat. “Don’t sleep on that fucking air mattress.”

Paige’s eyes are bright, alert, searching Tess’s expression for any sign of a sike! moment. “Are you sure?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper. “Don’t wanna–”

“Paige,” Tess says again. “Please?”

And then Paige is nodding, a smile overtaking her features again. She crawls gingerly over Tess’s legs, slipping under the purple comforter next to her. They’re both on their backs, nearly elbow to elbow, and the space between them feels electric. Sure, they shared a room on their Bose trip, but they remained in their separate beds. This is the closest they’ve been in five months, and Tess is certain that every cell in her body is simultaneously combusting.

“Tess,” Paige says.

“Yes, Paige?”

“Am I allowed to say I’m thankful for you too?” she murmurs.

Tess’s chest loosens. “Depends.” She cranes her neck to glance at Paige, but the blonde is already staring at her, her gaze dark and beseeching. “Do you mean it?”

Instead of a verbal response, Paige moves, one hand holding herself up and the other cupping Tess’s jaw, kissing her with a soft intensity that pulls the breath directly from her lungs. Tess sighs, tangling her fingers in Paige’s hair, letting Paige guide her as she liked for better access. Paige pulls back, her nose brushing against Tess’s cheek as she presses her lips to the slope of her jaw, the spot under her ear that makes her shiver, the base of her throat, her pulse point. Tess can feel Paige’s smirk as she lingers, her lips sweeping across her skin. “Your heart’s beating really fast,” she murmurs.

Tess scoffs, blushing fiercely. “I wonder why,” she retorts.

“I think I got a few ideas,” Paige says smugly.

“Think less,” Tess says breathlessly, pulling Paige back to her lips, halting whatever stupid comment she was about to make. Paige grins insufferably, her kiss long and slow. Tess feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into the mattress, consumed by all things Paige Bueckers; the scent of her perfume, the silk of her pillowcase, the warmth of her hand on her skin, the push and pull of her lips.

When they finally pull apart, Paige’s lips ghost across her temple as she murmurs, “Happy Thanksgiving, baby.”

The nickname does little to slow the beating of her heart. Tess doesn’t care. “Happy Thanksgiving, Paige.”

DECEMBER 2023

are you still interested in christmas-ing with the kennedys?

Wouldn’t miss it for the world

okay let me email you the tickets

[Paige loved “let me email you the tickets”] You gonna pick me up from the airport?

i could be persuaded

Say less [1 Attachment]

that’s a picture of dunkin donuts

It is Which is what I will buy for you if you pick me up from the airport

you drive a hard bargain 🤔 can you upsell? 

I mean Coffee, a bacon egg & cheese, and Paige Bueckers in your passenger seat Are you not convinced?

not really

Bruh Tess PLEASE do not make me take an Uber

you are such a baby 😭 don’t worry i’ll be there with a sign that says “welcome back from jail”

As long as you’re there I don’t care what’s on the sign

ok smooth oh also so what are your thoughts on spending like a day with my family then we go into the city for like the new year’s eve stuff in times square

Alone? 🫦

oh my god ok so you can actually walk from the airport

I’m kidding I’d be down for that Whatever you want

[Tess loved “Whatever you want”] sounds good see you soon

Can’t wait 🫶

DECEMBER 29, 2023

Tess is nervous.

She isn’t exactly sure why. She’s been in this situation time and time again, waiting at the airport for someone to pick her up or waiting to pick someone else up. It’s extremely busy, an unfortunate repercussion of the fact that it was that limitless space between Christmas and New Year’s where time didn’t exactly exist and people were flying in and out of New York constantly. Perhaps the difference is just because it’s her picking up Paige when it’s usually the other way around. One of the themes she’s begun to notice is that simply doing things with Paige just makes them feel different. She can’t exactly explain it, but Paige has this way of helping her see and experience things through a new lens.

The bustle of the airport makes her stand on edge. She’s never been a huge fan of the crowds, the constant noise, which is probably a strange thing to say as an athlete. She’s usually able to lock in and drown it out, but she’s anxious for other reasons. Paige will be walking through those gates in a few short minutes. Tess is excited to see her – that’s not the issue. She’s dreading the fact that as soon as she and Paige reunite, half of the airport will want to shove their phones in their faces. Again, the lack of fan privacy is probably something she should be used to, although she’d spend her life arguing that the lack of autonomy and respect isn’t something that should be normalized.

But that’s neither here nor there. The PA overhead clicks on. Tess can barely hear the robotic voice over the noise of the crowd as it announces the landing of Paige’s flight. Just a little longer, Tess reminds herself, then we can go home. The time seems to pass slowly, but soon enough, Tess can see a new crowd forming, emerging from the gate, and she feels her heart beat just a little faster at the implication.

Paige stands tall in the crowd, her blonde hair sticking out like a beacon. She’s dressed in an all black Nike tracksuit with the Husky logo emblazoned on the chest, although she holds a hoodie close to her chest as if she’d gotten hot on the plane but prepared well for the New York chill. Tess makes her way through the crowd in Paige’s direction. It doesn’t take long for Paige to find her, a beaming smile growing on her face, and Paige falls into her with evident relief.

Tess will never get tired of the way Paige hugs her. She melts completely, her body enveloping hers, her head always falling close to her neck. Paige’s body is firm, tangible, and Tess sighs at the weight and pressure of their embrace. “Merry Christmas, ma,” Paige murmurs in her ear, squeezing her tight.

“Merry Christmas, Paige,” Tess responds. “And Happy New Year’s, I guess.”

Paige’s shoulders shake with laughter as she pulls back, dropping an affectionate kiss to Tess’s forehead before intertwining their fingers. “It ain’t New Year’s yet,” she says.

“Close enough?”

“Nah.” Paige shakes her head, looking all too mischievous. “S’not New Year’s until I get my kiss at midnight.”

Tess rolls her eyes, but a flush settles over her cheeks. “You’re incorrigible.”

“C’mon – look at you!” Paige gestures with her free hand as she leads the two of them over to baggage claim. “I’m not a monster, I’m just a man with needs,” she sings, terribly off-key, which amuses Tess.

“Alright, Daniel Caesar,” she goads, smirking. “Let’s get you out of here before people charge you with aural assault.”

Paige suddenly looks affronted, blue eyes wide and indignant. “Oral?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.

Tess sighs, shaking her head. “No, baby, aural. A-U-R-A-L. As in hearing.”

Paige scoffs. “Jus’ say that, then.” Then, her head snaps back quickly, glancing at Tess with mock-offense. “Wait, that wasn’t nice!” Finally, her suitcase rolls around and she hauls it off the conveyor with ease.

Tess snickers, patting Paige on the shoulder. “Remember what I told you? I gotta keep your ego at a reasonable level.” With their hands still linked, Tess leads them through the crowded airport quickly, eager to get home and away from all of these people.

“My girl so mean,” Paige huffs dramatically. “Nothin’ wrong with my ego. You’re just a D1 hater.”

Tess smiles. “Are you finished?”

“No!”

Paige rambles the entire drive back to Tess’s house, but she at least stays true to her promise and buys Tess brunch at Dunkin – not that Tess expected anything less from her. In the short eight months they’ve been friends, Paige has proven herself to be very intentional in her words and actions. She doesn’t make a habit of saying things she doesn’t mean. Excluding their banter or when they’re teasing one another, Paige is unfathomably genuine. Promises and intent are incredibly important to her; Tess found that out the hard way back in November, but she’s keen on keeping that an isolated incident.

When Tess parks on the curb behind her parents’ car, she cuts the engine, but makes no effort to get out. Paige glances at her with a concerned expression, her thumb brushing against her knuckles gently. “So, my parents might be…a lot,” she says hurriedly, meeting Paige’s eyes. “Just let me know if it gets overwhelming or something, okay?”

Paige smiles reassuringly at her. “Don’t worry, ma. We got this in the bag.”

Tess returns the smile, though it’s a little weaker. “I’m serious. My dad likes you but you might get the shovel talk.”

“I’m serious, too.” Paige lifts their hands, pressing her lips to Tess’s palm. There’s no use hiding the infectious blush, so she just tries to not look as down bad as she feels. “I can handle it.”

Tess sighs, conceding, and she collects her belongings and leads Paige into her house. Her parents are sitting in the living room watching a movie when they walk in. Almost instantly, they turn to stare down Paige, who, to her credit, doesn’t falter, instead offering a polite smile.

“Hey, guys,” Tess says awkwardly. “This is Paige. Paige, these are my parents, Alessandra and Mateo.”

Her parents stand to shake her hand. “Great to finally meet you both,” Paige says charismatically, not wincing under her father’s handshake, which earns her a gleam of silent approval. Point, Paige. Her parents echo the sentiment, flashing relaxed smiles, and Tess finally chills out.

“Are you both staying for dinner? I know you have other plans this weekend,” her mom asks.

“Yes, mamma,” Tess replies with a smile. “We’re heading into the city tomorrow afternoon and I’ll be back on Monday after I drop her off at the airport.”

Her parents share a glance, as if silently communicating with one another. Their apparent telepathic capabilities always terrified Tess growing up. That fear comes back tenfold when the both of them glance at Paige, curiosity in their gaze as they soak her in. Paige, admirably, stands strong, a calm seriousness in her expression. She doesn’t even react when Tess subconsciously tightens her grip on her hand. While it feels like they stand there for hours, the staredown only lasts a few seconds before her parents relent. “I’m making bolognese tonight,” her mom states, the tension in the room dissolving.

At that, Tess relaxes again, and flashes a quiet smile at her parents. “We’ll be in my room,” she says. “Paige is jet-lagged after her flight.” None of them comment on the fact that Paige only travelled across one time zone, but her parents smile kindly and return to their movie as Tess drags Paige down the hallway, flushing. “Oh my God. That was the most nerve wracking thing ever.”

“I’ve never dissociated so hard in my life,” Paige confesses. “Did I do okay? Can they smell fear?”

Tess laughs, pulling Paige inside her room and shutting the door. “Christ, Paige – they’re Italians, not fucking sharks.” Paige rolls her eyes, depositing her bags close to the door and kicking off her shoes. She wraps her arms around Tess from behind, rocking them side-to-side, and Tess can’t help her smile as Paige sighs with relief. “Good job, though. She asked if you were staying for dinner.” Tess spins in Paige’s embrace, wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing her in celebration.

“Is that good?” Paige asks, her cheeks turning red.

“Very,” Tess confirms. “Just don’t wear jeans. She cooks enough for a small army and she’ll make you eat dessert, too.”

Paige nods seriously, like impressing her parents is an important task to her. “I’ll lock in,” she vows, her lips brushing against Tess’s jaw. “They’re gonna like me more than they like you.”

And at that, Tess shoves Paige away from her, scoffing indignantly while the blonde dissolves into laughter. “Jerk,” Tess grumbles. She makes her way to her bed, climbing in and turning the TV on. “Grey’s?” she asks Paige hopefully, as if the blonde would ever say no to Grey’s Anatomy, and Paige nods as she crawls in next to Tess, slinging an arm over her waist and resting her head on her chest.

They make it through an episode and a half before Paige falls asleep, lulled into slumber by the drag of Tess’s fingertips against her scalp. Tess knows she’s been working hard this season, spending extra time in the gym and training because she’s shouldering so much more for her team. She’s on court for nearly 40 minutes a game and although she’d never admit it, Tess knows that it’s taxing.

Tess wouldn’t admit it, either; she knows this arrangement is temporary, but she could get used to this – laying in bed with Paige while the blonde naps, comfortable in the knowledge that out of all of the people in her life, Tess is the one person she knows she can go to and not be expected to be Paige Bueckers all the time. She’s not expected to shoulder all of the responsibility, not expected to be the tough one – she can just be. The fact that Tess can provide that kind of comfort and security for her means more to her than she’d ever expected.

Paige shifts in her sleep, her arm tightening around Tess’s waist subconsciously, and Tess allows herself a gentle smile. It’s temporary, but she’s going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

Dinner was surprisingly nice that night. True to Tess’s word, her mom did make a shit ton of food, but Paige was a willing victim as she went back for seconds and had room for a slice of tiramisu. The chatter was lively and Paige integrated so well with her family. They asked about her childhood, her dreams, and her dad even dragged her into a lengthy conversation about football and the Superbowl. For an Italian raised man, her father was far too interested in American football, but Tess can’t find it in herself to mind too much when Paige’s hand finds her knee under the table as she listens intently. The smile on her face is bright, endeared. When Tess catches her mother’s gaze from across the table, noting the silent approval and her own fondness, she realizes that there’s just something so right about her and Paige.

They gather around the Christmas tree after dinner. Tess and her parents had already opened most of their gifts when Tess’s cousins came around on Christmas day, but her parents had surprised them both with gifts for Paige. Paige wasn’t expecting it, but the childlike wonder on her face was priceless, and Tess really couldn’t have been all too shocked by the fact that she fell just a little harder for Paige as she opened her presents. It was nothing major; a few pieces of workout apparel, a sneaky South Carolina hoodie that they all laughed at as Paige stared at it in mock-disgust (Tess knew she’d wear it), and a gift card for an upscale restaurant in the city that she and Paige planned to take full advantage of.

And then Paige surprised her parents with gifts of their own, which was incredibly fucked up, because how was Tess supposed to go back to normal when Paige is buying her parents Christmas presents and they’re not even dating for real? Paige gives her father a beautiful watch and her mother a gorgeous necklace. Judging by the way they sparkle, they must both cost a fortune, and Paige tells them she already tore up the receipts so there’s absolutely no take-backsies.

Tess hugs her parents goodnight, although they also pull Paige in for one when she tries to shake their hands again. Her parents both whisper their firm approval and Tess can’t help the way her chest tightens. They tell her that they really like Paige – that makes Tess laugh weakly because they aren’t the only ones. She really likes Paige, too, and that’s slowly becoming her biggest problem right now.

After they both shower, Paige rifles through her bag, searching for something, and when she turns around, she presents Tess with a small, gift-wrapped box. “Paige,” Tess grumbles, not expecting a gift from her, but the Cheshire grin on her face makes her resolve weaken.

“C’mon,” Paige goads. “D’you really think I wouldn’t get you sum’?” Tess rolls her eyes, but she opens the drawer on her nightstand and pulls out a gift wrapped box, too. Paige’s smile grows. They exchange their gifts, and after much argument, Paige convinces Tess to open hers first. She takes the wrapping apart gingerly, her eyes widening at the Tiffany & Co logo. “Don’t freak,” Paige says gently, which does little to hide the fact that Tess is freaking.

“Paige–”

“Open it, ma.”

Swallowing thickly, Tess does, and tucked into the cushion of the box is a small, yet glimmering, bracelet charm. She picks it up gingerly, her breath catching. “I struggled for a really long time to find the perfect one,” Paige admits in a whisper. Tess glances up at her, watching a slow smile spread across her face. “Had to get it custom made. It’s the Gampel court. I know – why would you wanna walk around with the enemy court on your wrist, whatever, but flip it over.” Tess flips it, and on the back, February 8, 2021, is engraved. “This was the first game we’d played against each other. The first time I met you in person, the first time I shook your hand. And honestly, I didn’t think we could beat you. I didn’t think I could beat you. You made it really fucking hard.” That draws a teary laugh from Tess, but Paige keeps going, a smile on her face. “As we played, it became less about, I’on know, beating you and more about impressing you. Win or lose, I was just really fucking grateful I got to share the court with you. I learned so much from your game and you made me a better player, whether you realized it or not. I was scared to reach out to you – you’d always been sort of untouchable, I didn’t think you’d wanna be my friend, especially since we’re on different teams. But here we are now.”

“Here we are,” Tess agrees, her lip quivering. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to out-do that,” she jokes.

Paige rolls her eyes, dimples popping out. “Lemme put it on you?” she requests. Tess nods, handing over the charm, and with overwhelming gentleness, Paige clasps the charm to her bracelet, giving her hand a squeeze once it’s safely secured.

“Thank you,” Tess says, her voice barely a whisper. She meets Paige’s eyes. Her expression shines with adoration, fondness, the blue of her gaze disarming. “It’s beautiful.”

Paige smiles at her, vulnerable and tender. “Of course,” she says.

Tess gestures to the wrapped box in Paige’s hand and she opens it gingerly. Inside the box is a thumb ring. The band is extremely thin, gold in color, and isn’t perfectly straight. It resembles the stem of a rose which leads into the petals with two miniscule leaves jutting out on either side. Paige stares at the ring in a reverent sort of awe. “So, we have this Italian saying: se son rose, fioriranno. ‘If they are roses, they will bloom.’ It essentially means that things take time to develop. You have to have faith that the roses will bloom – that you will bloom. It reminded me of both of us – our ACLs, that in time, they won’t weigh us down.” Paige glances back up, meeting Tess’s eyes. “It reminded me of you. I know this year hasn’t been easy for you so far, for your team, but in time, you’ll find that success you’ve been working your entire career for.”

Paige smiles even though her eyes water and her bottom lip quivers. “Tess… I’on know what to say.”

“Well, that’s a first,” Tess jokes, and the both of them dissolve into laughter. At Paige’s insistence, Tess slides the ring onto her thumb. Paige stares at it for a while, a dopey expression on her face, but Tess can tell she loves it. “Merry Christmas, P.”

Paige’s smile grows. She leans in, softly pressing her lips to Tess’s, her arm curling around her waist and dragging her closer until she’s nearly in her lap. Tess places her hands over Paige’s shoulders for stabilization, content to let Paige take the lead, but it’s not long before Paige is withdrawing to ghost her lips across Tess’s cheek, murmuring into her ear, “Merry Christmas, baby.”

DECEMBER 30, 2023

The first few hours of the morning are spent watching cheesy Hallmark movies, much to Paige’s chagrin. She thinks they’re too corny, but Tess argues they’re a holiday staple. Paige eventually gives in after Tess makes her a mug of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, although that doesn’t save her from Paige’s endless commentary.

“The acting is so bad,” Paige says, her tone disgusted. She stretches out a little more on the couch, her leg brushing against Tess’s. “Why does she move her head so much? Why does she keep blinking?”

“Paige,” Tess says, fond exasperation clear in her tone. “It’s not supposed to be good.”

“Well, it’s bothering me,” she whines. “Moving your eyebrows so much doesn’t make you look cool. It makes you look ridiculous.”

“You are such a baby,” Tess gripes. She lifts Paige’s left arm, tucking herself flush against her side. Paige gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze as she pulls her in a little tighter. “If you think about it, they’re just like us.”

At that, Paige raises her brows, huffing out something akin to unconvinced laughter. “Yeah? How so?”

Tess smiles at her coyly. “They got paired up together for the mural contest. Now they have to work together if they want to win.” She presses her fingertips together, separating them as she makes an explosion noise. Paige snorts. “I don’t think we’d be on Hallmark, though. Not PG enough. You curse like a sailor.”

“Me?” Paige asks. “Have you heard yourself?”

“You’re really gonna sit here and blame me for sh – stuff?” Paige gives her a knowing look, a smirk growing on her face. Tess juts her lip out in a pout that’s clearly not working on Paige. “It’s Christmas and you’re being mean to me?”

“It is not Christmas –”

Tess sighs dramatically, cutting her off. “Christmas,” she whines.

Paige rolls her eyes good naturedly, brushing her lips across Tess’s temple and shutting her up. They finish the movie, along with two others before it’s time for them to make the arduous, thirty minute journey into the city (traffic was a bitch). Paige called dibs on driving, which Tess wasn’t happy about considering that it was her car, but as soon as she thought about driving through the city traffic, she changed her mind.

Tess booked them a suite in a hotel called Tempo by Hilton, mostly due to its proximity to the New Year’s Eve ball drop location. After they checked in, they planned on heading out to dinner and then lounging around for the rest of the evening. They weren’t doing much on the 31st either, their only real plan being the ball drop. They agreed they weren’t going to fill up an entire itinerary. New Year’s in New York was just supposed to be a weekend vacation away from their families and the city would be crowded enough that they’d be away from the media, too. It was difficult to find much to do since Tess was not a fan of the New York nightlife. December marked eight months of sobriety – it wasn’t a lot, but it was a source of pride for her. She had no interest in going back on that even if the urges were long gone by now.

They got ready for dinner together, although Paige was absolutely no help at all. She was dressed in a multicolored striped sweater, baggy white jeans and a pair of matching shoes; her hair was styled down in loose waves. Tess jokingly told her that she looked like an art teacher and Paige rolled her eyes so hard that she had to lay down because it made her head hurt.

“Paige, I don’t know what to wear,” Tess complains. 

“Sum’ warm,” she says unhelpfully, not looking up.

“I want to wear a dress.”

“Then wear one?”

“It’ll be cold!”

“Bring a sweater.”

“And ruin the fit?” Tess grumbles.

Paige laughs, much to Tess’s chagrin. “You can pull anything off,” she says.

“It’s probably not even that cold,” Tess muses, glancing down at the dress she packed. It’s a simple black one that cuts off just below her thighs with thin straps at the top. “We’ll be inside for the most part, right?”

Paige shifts, holding her head up with her hand as she stares at Tess with amusement. “Wear the dress. Bring a sweater. Or don’t. I can give you mine and we can be all cute and shit.”

“You just want me wearing your clothes,” Tess says under her breath, but Paige hears it.

“Damn,” she deadpans. “Caught me.”

Tess wears the dress. She doesn’t bring a sweater. The restaurant was warm enough that she didn’t need one, although she’s certain that Paige deliberately took them the long way back to their hotel so she’d cave and ask Paige for her sweater. Her suspicions are proved true when Paige forces them to take what feels like a million photos, but Tess just feels endlessly endeared by her, so she entertains it.

“I like you in this,” Paige comments nonchalantly once they make it back to the hotel room. She toys with the frayed edges of the multicolored sweater mindlessly, glancing up to smile at Tess coyly.

“I know,” she says, taking her jewelry out and unpinning her hair. Paige lingers behind her, watching as she works. “You’re so down bad. It’s sickening.”

“Sorry,” Paige lies. Tess shakes her head with an amused smile. “Look in the mirror and get back to me. Who wouldn’t be?”

They watch an episode or two of Grey’s before bed that night, although Tess falls asleep after the first thirty minutes. The weight of Paige’s body against hers was too calming, the scent of her perfume in the air, the drag of her fingertips across her back. Despite doing nothing but lounging around, traveling, and going to dinner, Tess was exhausted. Paige could be partially to blame for that – she makes Tess feel safe, like she doesn’t have to worry about keeping all of her walls up. She has a comforting energy that could make anyone relax and lose all of their worries.

But maybe she’s a little too effective at that. If Tess had managed to stay awake longer, then maybe she would have heard the dial tone, the sound of another person picking up, and Paige’s whispered confession of, “Aubrey, I might be in love.”

But she didn’t hear it – and Paige may never say it again.

Things are fine the morning after, although Tess would have no reason to expect them to not be. She wakes up before Paige does (not a surprise), although they shifted at some point during the night. While Tess fell asleep with her head on Paige’s chest, she woke up on her side with Paige’s right arm slung protectively over her waist and the blonde’s face pressed into the back of her neck. Her breathing was gentle, fanning against her skin, sending shivers down Tess’s spine when she was coherent enough to realize just how close they were.

She slides out of Paige’s arms, careful to not wake her, and stretches as she walks into the bathroom to begin her morning routine. She’s in the middle of brushing her teeth when Paige finally wakes up, padding into the bathroom and wiping the exhaustion out of her eyes. “Mornin’,” she says, voice thick with sleep. She presses a quick, chaste kiss to Tess’s cheek before she reaches for her own toothbrush and gets to work.

“Morning, Paigey,” Tess says, though her words are muffled around the toothbrush in her mouth. Paige shoots her an amused glance while Tess tries not to stare at her too obviously. She’s dressed in a pair of black basketball shorts and a matching Nike sports bra, although her shorts hang low on her waist, revealing the waistband of her boxers. There’s not even a safe region for Tess to look at. The muscles in her shoulders are freakishly defined, the veins in her hands protrude slightly, her expression is soft and mellowed out, and her hair is down in bedridden waves. Tess needs to be taken out back and shot between the eyes. This is getting out of hand.

“Sum’ you wanna say?” Paige asks around the foam in her mouth. Tess flushes immediately, much to Paige’s endless enjoyment.

“Nope!” she says as she spits out her toothpaste. “Nothing at all.”

Paige catches her around the waist when she tries to leave, attempting to put space between them. Tess’s breath hitches as Paige pulls her flush against her, her hands resting on her bare stomach. Wordlessly, Paige bites down on her toothbrush, using her free hand to wipe away a smudge of toothpaste off Tess’s bottom lip. Paige’s subsequent smile is all too smug and she has to shove her away before she says something pathetic like naming the 2023 WNBA draft class by pick order.

She can hear Paige’s light laughter from the bathroom as she returns to the main room. When Paige finishes up in the bathroom, she doesn’t mention how she flustered Tess, although she does put a shirt on (much to Tess’s simultaneous relief and disappointment) and picks up the phone to order room service for them. The food arrives quickly, an assortment of meats, pastries, and other delicacies. Paige insists on making Tess’s plate for her – the princess treatment getting is ridiculous, but who is she to complain? – and the photo of Paige that she captures, messy bun and oversized t-shirt on, is good enough that Tess considers gatekeeping it, but she ultimately posts it anyway because the people deserve to know that UConn’s basketball star is doing this for her and not for them.

Paige reposts it with the eye rolling emoji and the princess emoji, which makes Tess laugh.

They talk all throughout breakfast, easy conversations and jokes, and they lounge around in the hotel room until it’s time to get ready for the ball drop. Tess, once again, struggles with what to wear, but when Paige comes out of the bathroom wearing a hot pink, long-sleeved Nike sweater with black baggy cargos and rummages through Tess’s suitcase, Tess really can’t be all too surprised when the outfit Paige selected matches her’s.

“You could be a little less obvious,” Tess suggests as she does her hair in the mirror.

Paige only smiles, taking in Tess’s outfit. Paige has dressed her in a pink tube top and black high-waisted pants with a matching coat. “Nah,” she says after a minute of shameless ogling. “I did my big one.”

Tess rolls her eyes. She would never admit it to the blonde, but she and Paige look good.

The walk to Times Square flies passes quickly. They spend it hand-in-hand with Paige expertly navigating them through the busy New York foot traffic as Tess takes countless pictures of the city decorated for New Year’s. She gets plenty of photos of Paige, too, the easy smile on her face, her side profile illuminated by the city lights. Tess knows very well by now that Paige is extremely attractive – that wasn’t a secret to anyone. She was magnetic and Tess has been stuck in her orbit from the first time they met, not in the conference room, but when they played each other in 2021. It takes her a long time to realize her feelings. She keeps them under tight lock and key, knowing that her goal and purpose is to play basketball. She never had the time for anything else, but when Paige finds her gaze, squeezing their intertwined hands, Tess thinks that maybe she could make time if Paige decided to stay in her life permanently.

Paige isn’t magnetic because of her looks. It definitely helps, and while that physical attraction will never leave, Tess has come to find she’s attracted to Paige for other reasons. She likes Paige’s kindness, her candor, her irresistible charm. She likes that Paige keeps her accountable, that she stands ten toes down on her beliefs. Tess is drawn to the way Paige cares for those around her, the way she gives everything her all. She likes her humor, her faith, her compassion. There isn’t a single thing Tess hates about her, but there’s an infinite amount of things that Tess loves about Paige Bueckers.

Love.

Tess loves Paige Bueckers.

That realization, while incredibly sudden, doesn’t surprise Tess as much as it probably should. If anything, it’s freeing – there’s a reason, an explanation to the way she’s been feeling for so long. It should scare her, but it doesn’t. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t set in yet, the panic. Tess panicked when she realized she had feelings for Paige in the first place. But maybe it’s because she’s older now, arguably wiser. She’s learned that she can’t run from her feelings. She has to embrace them for what they are. She’s in love with Paige. It should scare her because Paige was her first “relationship,” first kiss, and now, first love. It should scare her but it doesn’t and that’s just what it is.

It should scare her because now, rule four is officially broken. There’s no arguing against it or calling it by any other name. She dapped Paige up in a campus coffee shop and promised her that she wouldn’t fall in love with her. In fairness, a Notes app contract and a handshake isn’t really legally binding. But at the end of the day, Tess doesn’t care and that’s probably the scary part. She’s in love. It’s unsurprising, undaunting, and looking back, inevitable. 

“You good?” Paige asks, drawing Tess from her thoughts. “You got really quiet.”

Tess thinks about her answer. Is she okay? She’s here, in New York City with Paige Bueckers, the woman she’s in love with, and they’re about to watch the New Year’s Eve ball drop. She’s three months away from being able to play basketball again, a year away from declaring for the WNBA draft. She is literally on the cusp of achieving all of her dreams, of having everything she’s ever wanted. So, she smiles at Paige, shifting closer into her personal space as they walk, and she’s honest when she responds, “Yeah. I’m good.” The smile that Paige gives her is bright, full of fondness, and so disarming that Tess truly wonders how she went so long trying to convince herself that she couldn’t fall in love with her. Paige just makes it so easy. And when she pulls Tess tighter into her side, whispering a joke into her ear, part of Tess hopes that Paige could find it within her to love her back. Another part of her notices the clear adoration in Paige’s eyes, the way she tightens her grip on her hand, and she thinks that maybe Paige Bueckers being in love with Tess Kennedy isn’t such a long shot.

Paige finds them a secluded spot in Times Square, decently far away from the larger portion of the inebriated crowd. The wind is frosty, nipping at her nose and fingers, but Pagie’s body is so warm. She wraps both arms around Paige’s waist, laying her head on her chest, and the blonde runs her fingers up and down her back in a soothing motion. She’s not scared to be in love, but it’s overwhelming in the best way possible. Her heart feels like it’s about to burst at the seams, that the only way she could get this energy out is if she cried from the rooftops.

Right now, there’s literally nowhere else she’d rather be. She has room in her heart for both basketball and Paige – her two first loves. For her, that’s enough.

“D’you have any New Year’s resolutions?” Paige asks once the clock hits 11:50. 

Tess hums, pausing to truly give it some thought. “I think I’m going to try to do more next year,” she admits in a soft whisper. “Do more things, meet new people, take more risks. This year really taught me I can’t just rely on the same thing. Take more drives into to paint, you know?”

Paige smiles at her, immediately catching onto her reference. “No more three-point shooting for you,” she teases. “I wanna see you out-hustle Kamilla for some rebounds.”

Tess laughs. “I don’t know about that,” she says wryly. “What about you? Any resolutions?”

Paige’s hand is warm on her back, still brushing her fingers against her spine. She’s quiet as she thinks. She stares directly into Tess’s eyes when she responds, her eyes blue and beseeching. “I wanna try to build something permanent,” she confesses, her throat bobbing with nerves. “Legacies. My future.” Paige hesitates before her next words. “...Relationships.”

“Yeah?” Tess asks. Paige nods, a flush on her cheeks, though Tess can’t tell if it’s from the December chill or embarrassment. “Sounds admirable. But if anyone can do it, you can.”

Paige’s smile is solemn, although Tess doesn’t pick up on it, shifting her attention to the clock. 11:53. The two of them sit in silence for the next few minutes, swaying side to side to the beat of far-away music, the murmur of the distant crowd. Tess allows herself to get lost in the fantasy of a new year, one where she and Paige aren’t just pretending. Tess stopped pretending a long time ago. Part of her wonders if Paige did, too. She finds it hard to believe that Paige would be so committed to keeping up appearances in private. You could excuse the amount of time they spent together. Friends do that. But friends don’t kiss. They don’t fall asleep with each other, or cuddle, or call each other “baby” like Paige does with an enamored drawl. The signs are all there, but what if they were all lies? She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, even if part of her feels like there’s something more.

Tess has never been one for resolutions. They’re tacky and no one ever upholds them, but she thinks she’s going to uphold hers this year. She’s going to confess to Paige – eventually. Definitely not during the tournament season, not when Paige has so much on her shoulders already. But one day she will. That’s a promise she’s going to uphold.

She checks the clock again. 11:59. When she glances up, Paige is already staring at her. Coyly, she asks, “Ready to ring in the New Year’s?”

Tess chuckles, tightening her arms around Paige’s waist. “Are you?”

“Been ready ever since you picked me up at the airport,” she retorts, a grin growing on her face. “D’you remember what I said? S’not New Year’s until I get my midnight kiss?”

Tess hums as if contemplating something. “I don’t recall that,” she murmurs, her gaze locking onto Paige’s.

“No?” She shakes her head as Paige draws her in closer. Their noses brush. Paige’s eyes are soft, but there’s an emotion swirling in them that Tess just can’t place no matter how long she searches for the answer. “Is there anything I can do to jog your memory?”

The crowd roars, although Tess doesn’t pay them any attention.

10…

9…

8…

“I’m sure there’s something,” Tess concedes.

7…

6…

Paige smiles at her, her hands firm on her back. “Something?” she drawls.

5…

4…

“Paige.”

“Yeah?”

3…

2…

“Please stop talking.”

1!

And she does, pulling Tess even closer and capturing her lips with a gentle urgency. Tess grins against her, reaching up to tangle her fingers in Paige’s loose hair, though Paige grows annoyed at Tess’s inability to be serious. One of her hands finds Tess’s jaw, taking control and guiding their kiss. Her hands are freezing but they feel like a soothing balm against the heat building in Tess’s cheeks.

Paige pulls away for air, her breath coming out in shallow bursts that forms clouds of steam in the air, but she doesn't stay away for too long. She’s swooping back in and kissing Tess with a renewed vigor, like there’s something she’s trying to communicate. Her lips are greedy, insistent, drawing out every single noise building in the back of Tess’s throat. She’s never kissed like this before – technically, Paige is the only person that Tess has kissed, but there’s something that’s earth-shatteringly new about this interaction. Paige kisses her with want, with desire, like she couldn’t bear it if she didn’t have Tess in her arms at all times. And honestly, given how Tess eagerly responds, trying her best to put as little space between her and Paige as possible, Tess isn’t sure if she herself could bear it if she and Paige weren’t near each other.

Her entire nervous system is alight with activity, neurons firing on all cylinders. Call her delusional, or stupid, or whatever, but Paige has awoken a part of her that has laid dormant for 22 years. It’s like part of Tess was waiting for Paige to come into her life, that she wasn’t fully living until she felt what it was like to love Paige Bueckers. Now that she knows, Tess can’t imagine living a life where she doesn’t love Paige Bueckers, where she doesn’t get to look at Paige like she’s hung the very stars in the sky, where she doesn’t get to wake up everyday and wonder how Paige will piss her off this time. It’s just them, it’s how they work, it’s how Tess wants them to work forever and ever and ever.

“Paige,” Tess gasps, almost breathlessly, pushing the blonde away from her with a hand to her chest. Paige looks almost annoyed at the interruption until she takes in the hazy look in Tess’s eyes. “Hotel?” Tess asks, and Paige nods her head so vigorously, coming back to her senses. She reaches for Tess’s hand and shoves their way through the crowd back towards their hotel.

The walk back feels like it takes ages. The elevator ride isn’t any better. Tess is nearly shaking with anticipation and Paige fumbles with the keycard, cursing under her breath. Finally, she opens it, ushering Tess inside with unseen urgency and shuts the door quickly behind them, locking it.

Tess hardly has the time to react before Paige is on her again, one hand at the base of her throat and the other around her waist. Despite her haste, she carefully walks the two of them backwards until the back of Tess’s knees hit the bed and Paige lowers her down gently, cognizant of her leg. Paige pulls back, her eyes clouded with want but she finds some clarity when she looks at Tess again. “Off?” she requests, her voice hoarse, tugging lightly at Tess’s coat. Tess nods, but Paige is shaking her head. “Words, Tess. None of that shit.”

“Off, Paige, please,” she says hastily, leaving her pride at the door. Paige rewards her with a deep kiss to her lips as she reaches for Tess’s coat, pulling it off her shoulders and throwing it somewhere behind her. She stands to kick off her shoes and Tess almost misses the contact until Paige sinks to her knees, reaching to undo her heels. The sight of Paige on her knees, staring up at her in near reverence sends a shockwave of desire straight to Tess’s core. Once her heels are off, she reaches for Paige, pulling her up and on top of her, connecting their lips once more.

“Fuck,” Paige murmurs, dipping down to press her lips to Tess’s jaw. Tess tangles her fingers in Paige’s hair, pulling the hair tie out, allowing the blonde waves to spill over her shoulders as Paige drags wet kisses across the slope of Tess’s collarbones. She nips at her skin, soothing the bite with a pass of her tongue, and Tess can’t help the moan that rips from her throat when Paige’s hands press against her ribs. “So pretty, baby, you have no idea.”

“Says you,” Tess says breathlessly, which draws a laugh from Paige. She pulls back far enough, hooking her fingers under the hem of Tess’s top. Paige meets her eyes, the question evident in her blown-out eyes, and Tess nods rapidly as she says, “Take it off, please.”

Her top comes off quickly and Paige groans, her eyes zoning in on her bare breasts. “So polite,” she murmurs, sliding her hands to her chest. She glances back up for consent, and once she has it, she brushes her thumbs across her nipples, drawing a whimper from Tess. “This what I needa do to get you to be nice?” Her tone is warm despite the insinuation in her tone.

“Stop teasing,” Tess grumbles, and who is Paige to deny her? She leans down, littering wet kisses across her chest, encircling her mouth around a nipple as her hand gives equal attention to the other one. Tess slides her fingers through Paige’s hair for leverage, pulling slightly, and moaning when Paige’s subsequent groan reverberates throughout her body. Her back arches off of the bed, trying to lessen the space between them. Paige pulls back, staring at Tess with a reverent smile like she’s the eighth wonder of the world. Then she’s dipping back down, lavishing her other breast with attention, and Tess feels so high-strung that she could float away from the slightest touch.

When Paige moves down her body, sucking hickeys near her ribs, Tess reaches for Paige’s sweater. Wordlessly, Paige raises her arms, allowing Tess to pull her it off. Her mouth goes dry at the sight of Paige’s abs, firm and rigid and inviting.

“All quiet now, huh?” Paige goads.

“Paige–”

Paige shushes her, pressing their lips together again, swallowing the needy sounds ripping from Tess’s throat as her hands explore. They’re warm, leaving blazing paths of desire across her body, dipping down to grip her thighs. “Gonna get you right,” she promises, leaving Tess’s lips, traveling down to her neck where she sucks a mark into her skin. “Jus’ need you to be patient.”

“Don’t want patient,” Tess says, gasping when Paige bites her shoulder. “Want you.”

“You got me,” Paige reassures. “Always, baby, you got me.” Her fingers hook into the waistband of her pants, looking back up to Tess for approval.

“Please,” she begs. “Fuck, Paige, please.”

With almost agonizing slowness, Paige pulls her pants down her legs, still cognizant of her knee. Her eyes widen at the sight of Tess splayed out under her, her breath catching. “Fuck, Tess,” she murmurs in disbelief. Tess finds it hard to be insecure when Paige is looking at her like this. “All for me?”

“For you,” Tess says, her chest heaving.

Paige smiles smugly, whispering, “Yeah, it is,” before she leans down, pressing her lips to Tess’s full thighs, gripping her hips. She spreads her legs, fitting her body in the space she’s created, trailing kisses towards her knee, where the surgery scar remains. Tess’s breath catches in her throat when Paige kisses her knee, her fingers brushing gently over her skin. “Every inch of you is so fuckin’ beautiful,” she whispers in awe. “God, Tess. How are you real?”

For that, Tess has no answer. She reaches for Paige’s hand, intertwining their fingers as she pulls the blonde back to her lips. They’re locked together for a few moments before Tess feels the brush of Paige’s pant leg against her skin. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she whines.

“Sorry, baby,” Paige whispers against her lips. She kisses her once more, a lingering press before pulling away, pulling her pants off with a quickness. She’s left in a black sports bra and a pair of boxers. 

She settles in again, her lips finding Tess’s navel, pressing wet kisses to her skin. “Paige,” Tess begs again. “Please touch me.”

“Where d’you need me?” she asks, glancing back up to meet Tess’s eyes. She wonders if she looks as destroyed as she feels. Paige hasn’t even done anything, but all of her senses are on overdrive. She reaches for Paige’s hand, guiding it to the apex of her thighs, resting it over her underwear. If she were wearing a lighter color, she’d be concerned about her arousal seeping through the material.

“Off, Paige, please,” Tess requests.

Paige obliges, stripping her fully. Her eyes soak her in, a groan building at the back of her throat at the sight of Tess spread open and exposed for her. Her hands linger on her thighs as Paige returns to Tess’s lips, kissing her deeply once more. “You want me?” she asks, their noses brushing. “We can stop if you want, don’t gotta do nothin’ you’ont want, Tess, I swear it.”

Tess shakes her head, pulling Paige back in. She’s never been more sure of anything else in her life. “Want you,” she affirms, her voice breathless. Paige pulls back again; her pupils are blown out and the desire is evident, but she searches Tess’s eyes for any hint of a falsehood. When she finds none, she presses one last kiss to her lips, trailing down her body again until she reaches her cunt. Her breath is warm against her and Tess shivers.

Paige reaches for one of her hands, intertwining their fingers. With the other, she spreads her legs once more, getting comfortable and finally, she dips down fully to drag her tongue slowly along the length of her slit. She groans, the vibrations making Tess crazy, and it takes everything in her to not lose her mind as her back arches. Paige uses her free arm to press down on her hips, keeping her rooted as she licks and sucks, her tongue all over her. And when Paige finds her clit, wrapping her lips around it and sending waves of white-hot pleasure throughout her body, Tess whines so loudly that she can feel the noise in her throat. “Paige, fuck,” she gasps, one of her hands twining in Paige’s hair, tugging her closer and closer to her.

Paige is vocal in general, but the noises she makes against Tess’s cunt are intoxicating in the best way. Her head spins as Paige laps her up, gathering her slick on her tongue and drinking her up like a woman starved. She travels lower, her nose brushing against Tess’s clit as her tongue circles her entrance, and Tess feels like some part of her has died and gone to heaven. The pleasure is immeasurable, white spots blotting at the edges of her vision.

Then Paige’s arm is leaving her hips, her fingers trailing down, brushing across her folds. She presses her lips to Tess’s thigh, smearing the wetness as her thumb rubs slow, intentional circles on her clit. “So pretty like this,” Paige murmurs, her voice thick, sounding like she’s drunk off of her taste. Her fingers dip down and she slowly pushes one inside of her, letting Tess get used to the stretch as she tips her head back in wordless euphoria. “That’s it, baby, you got it.” Her finger starts moving, curling upwards, dragging across a spot that makes Tess writhe.

Tess releases Paige’s hair, one arm slinging over her face, unable to fully process the pleasure. Paige stops suddenly, making a disapproving noise against the inside of her thigh as she nips at her skin. “Eyes on me,” she says firmly, “or I’ll stop.”

Tess whimpers, but does as Paige says. She’s rewarded with a blinding smile, the shine of her slick on Paige’s cheeks evident with the way the moonlight streams through the room. Paige prods at her entrance with a second finger. It’s a tighter squeeze, but Tess just sucks her in. “There we go,” Paige whines, breathless with want. “Jus’ like that, fuck.” Both of her fingers are working her in tandem, curling upwards, and Tess feels boneless.

With every push and pull of her fingers, every time her fingertips brush against the spongy part inside of her, Tess feels the pleasure mounting and she starts babbling, begging for Paige to give her what she needs, to finally give her some relief after being so high-strung for what feels like ages. Paige is all too content to give it to her, her head dipping down once more to wrap her lips around her clit. Paige is vocal against her cunt, moans of her own high-pitched and whiny, talking her through it with incoherent rambles. Her mouth and her fingers work her in tandem. Paige leads her higher and higher to her peak, and after one final well-timed brush, the pleasure crests and Tess’s orgasm washes through her.

Paige hums against her, pleased, working her through it until the aftershock tremors subside. Only when Tess gasps, far too overstimulated, does Paige slowly drag her fingers out, pressing one last kiss to her thighs. Tess sighs, sagging into the bed. Paige glances at her, her expression hazy and filled with undeniable smugness, fondness, and a lingering concern. “You good?” she asks, her voice rough.

At that, Tess can’t help but laugh, gazing up at Paige through hooded lids. “You just gave me the best head of my life and that’s what you have to say?” she asks weakly.

Paige rolls her eyes, rubbing her thigh gently with her clean hand. “I’on know what you want from me. You wanna high-five or sum’? Buy a cake to celebrate?”

“Jesus Christ,” Tess says, amused and somehow endeared. “I can’t believe this is who I just had sex with.”

Paige snorts. “I don’t remember you doin’ much of anything.”

Tess flushes. “First of all,” she begins, still a little breathless, “rude. Second of all… should I?”

“Nah,” Paige says, her entire demeanor shifting. “Uh, you don’t gotta worry about that.”

Tess stares at her long and hard, not quite understanding. It’s not until she notes the flush on Paige’s chest, the sweat beading at her temples, the way her boxers stick to her body that she finally understands. “Oh my God,” she says, much to Paige’s chagrin. “You–”

“Chill!” Paige exclaims, embarrassed. “You were makin’ all these noises. I couldn’t help it.”

They stare at each other for a few beats before they both dissolve into exhausted giggles. Tess feels slightly delirious, although part of her can’t believe she just did this with Paige. She doesn’t regret it. She doesn’t think she ever could.

“We should probably clean up,” Paige suggests.

Tess hums, stretching. “Give me like ten minutes,” she says. “I can’t feel my legs.”

Paige laughs smugly. “Yeah?”

Tess shakes her head, amused. “Shut up.”

“Alright,” she concedes, hooking one arm around Tess’s back and the other under her knees. Tess yelps in surprise as Paige lifts her easily, walking them both to the bathroom. “I’m tired. And your ass is not makin’ it ten more minutes.”

“You’re an asshole!” Tess exclaims as Paige turns on the shower, adjusting the heat. “But true.” With one last smile, Paige helps her into the shower and they wash up together. It feels so incredibly domestic, but Tess isn’t complaining. She’s not going to allow her brain to ruin this night for them, not when everything leading up to it has been nothing short of perfect.

They’re well past sleepy when they finally make it out of the shower, redressing in sleep attire. Paige checks out the blankets, getting rid of the soiled ones and grabbing fresh ones from the closet. Soon, she and Tess are collapsing into bed, seconds away from passing out entirely, but Paige reaches for her instantly. She curls into her body, her arm wrapping around Tess’s middle. She brushes her lips against her temple. “Happy New Year’s, Tess,” she whispers, her tone fond.

Tess can only muster an exhausted smile, squeezing her hand as she whispers back, “Happy New Year’s, Paige.”

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles—Update 27/Sept/2024 

I’ve finished the base writing for Chapter Four, and I’ve almost finished the first edits!!

As you might be able to tell, it’s been a very productive week, hehe! :D

Chapter Four came together sooo smoothly! There wasn’t as many scenes, which helped, but also a major chunk of it was just the MC and another character, which obviously helps keeps variations of scenes to a smaller amount with so few characters—though I still had to put a good amount in to account for some very important choices with this very important character…

But there was a really specific line I wanted this chapter to end on, as I finally got to write it I was like vibrating with excitement, lol! :D It sets up not only the next chapter on a fun, if intense, note, but also the rest of the story!

After I finished writing, I dove straight into the editing! There was an important bit of ‘mirroring’ I really wanted to get into this chapter at the beginning and end for the romances, so getting to read back through and make sure that was clear but also subtle was great to check on!

The romances really are progressing now, and although I want that to be obvious through dialogue and actions, I also want it to be there in the subtler, quieter moments too. I think that’s where deeper feelings can really shine the most! More of an instinctual thing than something the characters are actively doing.

Next week, I will easily finish of the edits and rewrites for this chapter, and then move onto social media days.

Social media days will take a bit longer as I have the Autumnal Scenario Specials for Patreon to write, which is really going to get me in the autumnal mood…before jumping back into the heated summer going on for the next chapter, hehe! :D

Hope you all have the most amazing weekend! We’ll be offline as usual, so I’ll update you all again next week! <3

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Link 1, Link 2 :)

Digital Good Omens 2 Sountrack is coming out in 4 days! 🥳 CD version in October! :) ❤ Coming soon on vinyl…

Out to Stream/Download from 25th August. Out on CD 13th October. Coming soon on vinyl…

David Arnold’s ‘end of the world’ complex and multi-genre soundtrack.

From the Award-winning composer of Sherlock and Casino Royale comes a follow up to the hugely successful, Emmy nominated Good Omens soundtrack.

Good Omens series 2 premiered on Prime Video on 28th July. The series follows the odd couple, angel Aziraphale (Michael Sheen) and demon Crowley (David Tennant) in their quest to sabotage the end of the World. The six-episode sequel to the popular adaptation of the novel by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, concerns the Archangel Gabriel (Jon Hamm) arriving without his memories to Aziraphale’s bookshop. Aziraphale and Crowley attempt to find out what happened to Gabriel, whilst hiding him from Heaven and Hell, both eager to find him.

The Soundtrack

David Arnold’s soundtrack to Good Omens was first released in 2019 to favourable reviews, with BBC Music Magazine calling it “a rollicking trip to hell and back”. Blueprint Magazine described it as “a great listen” and Sci Fi Bulletin commented on “plenty of memorable themes” to conclude that “This is another work of art from Arnold”. At times nostalgic and eerie but always varied, beautiful and full of excitement, the Good Omens 2 soundtrack showcases Arnold’s every skill from his composer arsenal. Featured here are orchestral arrangements with sprinkling of Sugar Plum Fairy pizzicato and percussion, jaunty strings and mighty choral sweeps from Crouch End Festival Chorus. Added to the mix are rock guitar riffs, and psychedelic 70s sounds and all together they create a haunting otherworldly feel, complementing the fantasy and the quirky humour of the show. The spirited Waltz of the opening theme is also present in the second series and it wonderfully sets the scene for fantastical mayhem. In series 2, this robust, evocative, and funny music entity, becomes yet again another character in the story. Award-winning composer David Arnold is well known for his blockbuster scores, including Stargate, The Chronicles of Narnia: the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Hot Fuzz, Paul, Independence Day, 2 Fast 2 Furious and Casino Royale as well as for his TV work such as Sherlock and Dracula. Also available: The original soundtrack to the first series of Good Omens >

Tracklist

– Disc 1 – Chapter 1: The Arrival 1. Before the Beginning 2. Good Omens 2 Opening Title 3. Into Soho 4. Something Terrible 5. To The Bookshop 6. Maggie and Nina 7. He’s Smoking 8. Tiny Miracle 9. Heavenly Alarm Bells Chapter 2: The Clue 10. Avaunt! 11. The Song is the Clue 12. It’s What God Wants 13. A Mighty Wind 14. Whales 15. Gabriel Returns 16. His New Children 17. Am I Awful Now? 18. Fallen Angel Chapter 3: I Know Where I’m Going 19. Police Arrive 20. Scotland 21. We’re Going to Hell 22. People Get a Choice 23. My Car is Not Yellow 24. Beelzebub in Hell 25. The Book 26. The Fly 27. Mr. Dalrymple 28. We Need to Cut 29. I’m Going to Save Her 30. Crowley Goes Large 31. Not Kind 32. Beelzebub Isn’t Happy – Disc 2 – Chapter 4: The Hitchhiker 33. Hell-O 34. Nazi Zombies 35. March of the Nazi Zombies 36. Crowley Pep Talk 37. The Magic Shop 38. Catch The Bullet 39. Zombies in the Dressing Room Chapter 5: The Ball 40. I’ll Let You Have It 41. We’re Storming a Book Shop 42. Monsieur Azirophale 43. The Candelabra 44. Here Comes Hell 45. Gabriel Gives Himself Up 46. Shax 47. The Circle Chapter 6: Every Day 48. Bin Through the Window 49. Gabriel Leaving Heaven 50. The Halo 51. Gabriel Revealed 52. Gabriel’s Love Story 53. Leaving The Bookshop 54. Gabriel and Beelzebub 55. Crowley and Muriel 56. I Forgive You 57. Don’t Bother 58. The Biggest Decision 59. The End?

[nihilityuniverse]

𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 | 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐱 𝐅𝐄𝐌! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 ᴏꜰ ᴛᴇʏᴠᴀᴛ 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗕𝗼𝘀𝘀.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Story inspired by Acheron's Lore, Power, and Personality...

ENG is not my First language

I do not own Genshin Impact or any of the pictures used.

Do NOT Repost

Story is also available on Wattpad: Chapter 0 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

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Chapter 0 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭'𝐬 𝐒𝐤𝐲

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You drift into sleep, and the chaos begins. Memories swirl around you, fragmented and hazy, flashing too quickly for you to grasp. 

Voices echo, overlapping and fading before you can understand them.

"...May the present life shine like gold."

"Further Killing is meaningless."

"...But their death must mean something."

"Death is not the end of life... We will redefine humanity itself."

"...But we all know this world is beyond saving."

"... Despite that, we must become heroes."

You try to focus, but the images shift and blur. Faces you should recognize merge into each other. You hear different voices, yet you are unable to concentrate while the flashing images cross your mind.

A memory flickers: a pink-haired elf in a white dress. This time it's a bit clearer.

You hold her in your arms, blood pouring out of her chest. Her eyes are sad, yet filled with an unspoken warmth. She caresses your cheek, her touch gentle despite her pain. She says something, her lips moving slowly, but the words are lost to you. Then the scene shifts abruptly, the memory distorting.

You find yourself facing a long blue-haired man with piercing blue eyes. He looks at you with intensity, his expression serious. "Y/N, promise me you never forget...-" The memory distorts again, the edges blurring, "...love you."

The images speed up, a kaleidoscope of moments you can't hold on to. They slip through your fingers like sand, leaving only the faintest impressions.

You jolted awake, sitting upright in bed, drenched in cold sweat. Your hand clutched your rapidly beating heart as you gasped for breath. An overwhelming sadness gripped you, manifesting in uncontrollable tears streaming down your face. You let the tears fall freely, unable to stem the tide of emotion.

Confusion clouded your thoughts as fragments of your memories resurfaced, each piece as elusive as mist. You climbed out of bed and paced the room, trying to shake the disorienting sensation. You halted in front of the mirror, compelled to confront your reflection.

Staring back at you were eyes that seemed hollow, devoid of any spark of life, like a puppet's vacant gaze. Your cheeks glistened with the remnants of dried tears, evidence of your inexplicable sorrow.

As you blinked, your reflection shifted.

The reflection showed you with white hair and golden horns. One horn was half-shattered, the broken end dissolving into a sparkling golden mist.

You reached out to touch the mirror, your fingers trembling as they met the cold glass. The reflection stared back with a haunting emptiness that mirrored the void you felt within.

"My MANTIS form? Is this an illusion?" you whispered, barely audible, to yourself.

In the mirror, your reflection stood differently. It wore a white kimono, stained with blood and dirt, its eyes glowing a piercing gold. The reflection seemed more alive than ever, staring back at you with an intensity that made your breath catch.

"Find me,"

The reflection's voice echoed, soft yet commanding, as it leaned closer to the glass.

"Your end... my origin."

Suddenly, the mirror's surface cracked, spiderwebbing outward from where your reflection's hand had pressed against the glass. Startled, you stepped back, eyes wide with disbelief. The reflection flickered and then returned to your current self, leaving only the shattered fragments of glass to catch and distort your image.

You stared at the broken mirror, your face reflected back in jagged pieces, each shard a fragment of a whole that felt lost to you. The encounter left you shaken, the echo of the reflection's voice lingering in your mind.

You draped your coat over your nightgown, pulling it tightly around yourself, and stepped out into the cold night.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Your heels clicked rhythmically against the cobblestone streets, resonating through the stillness of the night. The air was crisp and biting, carrying the faint scent of the sea.

The moon cast a pale glow over the empty streets, its silver light the only illumination as the city slumbered. You wandered aimlessly, unable to shake the unsettling dream that had stirred your memories.

As you rounded a corner, lost in thought, you nearly collided with someone.

"Sorry!..." A blonde traveler exclaimed, trailing off as his eyes met yours. His expression shifted from apology to shock, and he instinctively took a step back.

You sighed, crossing your arms to ward off the chill. "I'm not going to eat you," you said with a hint of sarcasm. "Couldn't sleep either?"

Aether looked alarmed but quickly relaxed, sensing no threat from you. "I had a nightmare..." he admitted, leaving out the detail that the nightmare involved you.

"A nightmare, hm?" you mused, walking past him and stopping at his side. "The more that weighs on your mind, the more your fears turn into dreamscapes."

Aether glanced at you but remained silent. There was something about you that felt familiar, a sense that beneath your icy exterior lay untold stories. Perhaps, he thought, you had a complex history with Zhongli.

"And you?" he ventured.

You didn't answer directly. Instead, you offered, "Walk with me. Let's forget our problems for a while." You began to walk, your pace slow and deliberate.

Aether hesitated for a moment before falling into step beside you. The two of you strolled through the quiet streets of Liyue Harbor, the silence around you amplifying the noise in your minds. The city's usual bustle was absent, replaced by a serene, almost eerie stillness.

"What a quiet night..." you murmured, your voice soft in the tranquil air. "They say the quieter things are around you, the louder they are in your head. It's true, isn't it?"

You didn't look back at Aether, but you could feel his presence beside you, a silent companion in this nocturnal journey. He nodded in agreement, the sound barely audible.

You halted at the edge of the harbor, where the cold sea breeze caressed your face, carrying with it the scent of salt and the distant, rhythmic murmur of waves.

You clutched your coat tighter around your body, the thin nightgown beneath providing little warmth. The soft rustling of the ocean's surface reminded you of him, a memory as elusive as the shifting tides.

The traveler, Aether, watched you quietly. The moonlight reflecting off the water cast a gentle glow on your face, accentuating your mysterious allure.

To him, you were an enigma. His only encounter with you had been during that tense moment with Zhongli, where you had seemed intimidating. Yet now, in this peaceful setting, you appeared more contemplative and perhaps even kind. He realized he knew almost nothing about you, not even your name.

"Who are you?" he asked, his voice curious but respectful.

You turned to meet his gaze, but before you could respond, the sound of approaching footsteps interrupted the moment.

"Oh? Out for a midnight stroll, are we?"

Childe's voice cut through the night, dripping with suspicion. He approached, eyes narrowed at you.

"Up to no good, perhaps?" His tone was accusatory, a familiar annoyance that you felt in your bones.

You barely knew him, only having seen him briefly at the funeral, yet he seemed to harbor a baseless animosity towards you.

"We're just walking," you replied coolly, meeting his gaze with a calm, unyielding stare. "Neither of us could sleep. There's no need for your baseless accusations."

Aether turned to Childe, sensing the tension. "Childe? What are you doing here?"

Childe's expression shifted slightly as he acknowledged Aether. "Ah, the famous traveler," he remarked, his voice tinged with a mock cheerfulness. "I see you've found your way to her." He glanced back at you with a passive-aggressive look, a mix of irritation and something unreadable.

Aether glanced at you, seeking an explanation, then back at Childe, expecting answers.

"She hasn't told you?" Childe raised an eyebrow, a sly smile playing on his lips. "She's quite infamous among us, actually," he began, his tone laced with amusement.

"Us... Are you one of the Harbingers?" Aether's eyes widened, his body tensing.

The quiet harbor was momentarily disrupted by the rippling tension between you and Childe.

You crossed your arms, your gaze steely. "Childe," your voice was sharp, cutting through the crisp night air like a blade. "Her Royal Majesty sent a personal letter apologizing for your... behavior. I strongly advise you to keep your mouth shut."

Childe's smile widened, a spark of excitement dancing in his eyes. "Or what? You wanna to fight?" He stepped closer, eager for confrontation.

Aether glanced nervously between you and Childe, feeling the intensity of the moment.

Then, in an instant, a Hydro dagger materialized in Childe's hand. With a wild laugh, he lunged at you, his speed blurring as he closed the distance.

The blade aimed for your throat with lethal precision, but before it could touch you, your hand shot up, clamping around his wrist with an iron grip.

In the blink of an eye, you delivered a flurry of punches to his face, each strike landing with brutal efficiency. The world seemed to slow down as you pounded him with lightning-fast blows.

As he reeled from the onslaught, you released his wrist, spinning gracefully before delivering a powerful kick to his abdomen. The impact sent Childe flying, crashing through the air and landing hard against a row of trash cans with a thunderous clatter.

The entire sequence happened in a mere heartbeat. The force of your actions left Aether stunned, the air thick with the intensity of the moment.

He stood in stunned disbelief. One moment, Childe had lunged at you, and in the next, he was sprawled across a pile of trash cans, thoroughly beaten. Had it all happened in the blink of an eye? He turned his gaze to you, realizing with a shiver that you were capable of much more than he had imagined.

"Don't worry, he won't bother us anymore," you said calmly, turning towards Aether, completely composed.

"I doubt he will ever..." Aether muttered, noticing your unruffled demeanor. It was as if the scuffle hadn't even phased you; you weren't even out of breath.

"About your question from before," you continued, meeting his eyes, "I am part of the Fatui and one of the Harbingers. My code-name is Innamorati."

Strangely, Aether didn't feel the usual wariness that came with meeting a Harbinger. Instead, there was a peculiar sense of ease, a feeling that it was better to be on your good side.

"Innamorati... I've never heard that code name before," Aether said, curiosity piqued. "And what about your actual name?"

You sighed, crossing your arms. "You might forget it, so you can call me whatever you like. But my real name is Y/N."

Aether blinked, taken aback. "It's... a beautiful name." He blurted out, then blushed slightly. "I mean... you have the same name as the unknown lady in the story."

You tilted your head, puzzled. "Unknown lady? What story are you talking about?"

Aether suddenly realized his slip. The tale he referred to only mentioned Morax and his two lovers, Guizhong and an unnamed woman, without ever revealing her identity.

"Uh... it's a story about Morax, the Geo Archon, and his two lovers, Guizhong and... um, Y/N, the unknown lady. It also involves Osial being jealous," he explained quickly.

At the mention of Osial, your eyes widened as a memory surfaced, a fragment of a dream featuring a blue-haired man with striking blue eyes. You turned towards the ocean, a sad expression clouding your features.

"Are you alright?" Aether asked, concern evident in his voice.

"It's nothing. I just... have a bad memory. The name Osial... I knew him well... or used to," you murmured. "But I'd rather not talk about it right now."

Aether, both surprised and curious about you, realized it was time to part ways as the night was nearing its end. "If you'd like to hear more about the story, we can meet up tomorrow. And..., good night," he said, a shy smile accompanied by a faint blush on his cheeks.

You were momentarily taken aback, your expression softening. "Thank you."

Then, with a thoughtful pause, you looked him in the eye. "Before you go, may I make a request?" Your tone was serious.

"It may seem strange, perhaps even rude, but I must ask..."

"...Have we met somewhere before?"

The question hung in the air, and Aether's eyes widened in surprise.

After a moment's thought, Aether responded, "Perhaps we have."

A small, knowing chuckle escaped your lips. "My memories often fail me..." you murmured. Stepping closer, you leaned in to whisper in his ear, your breath warm against his skin, "Return safely whence you came... Because a particular Yaksha is following us." You glanced around subtly. "If you feel unsafe, you can follow me."

Aether's eyes widened further, immediately thinking of Xiao. "I'm okay, I know this Yaksha," he whispered back, attempting to reassure you. You gave a slight nod, acknowledging his words.

With a final exchange of goodbyes, you turned and headed back to the hotel Pantalone had reserved entirely for your stay. As you walked away, you remained vigilant, aware of the green-haired Yaksha's presence in the shadows, watching your every move.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Reblog if you like this story

[oneknightstand-if]

A Completely Normal Rest Stop

Update 4: Chapter 2 Part 2 - The Rest Stop

Featuring...

Merlin's Guide to Minor Enemies

A bucketload of owed texts & e-mails to the MC

Decisions of great import... just where are you sleeping in that motorhome during this Among Us game?

Shopping? Fleeing? Stalking Merlin? Chapter 2 wedding proposals? ̵S̵a̴b̷o̴t̸a̷g̵e̵ ̵t̷h̴e̶ ̷m̸o̵t̵o̴r̷h̸o̷m̷e̶/̷ Actually having a completely normal time because you sidestepped all the spooky shenanigans? (But what fun would the latter be?)

A ton of branching everywhere in the second part of this update, so try replaying again with a few different choices.

A̴ ̴C̴o̶m̴p̷l̷e̵t̷e̴l̴y̵ ̶N̴o̷r̸m̴a̶l̵ ̵G̴a̴s̸ ̶S̵t̵a̷t̷i̶o̷n̸ ̵S̴t̸o̷p̷

Nothing to see here but a completely normal gas station & convenience store at a completely normal rest stop. Moving along now.

Play the Updated Beta Test

(Since there were bugs & typos reported throughout Chapter 1 & 2, your current saves are probably going to reset to the beginning of each section of the game. If things get too wonky, you might want to try restarting from the beginning.)

*If you're getting error messages or the start screen isn't showing Version 0.22, please clear your browser's cache.

Additional Word Count (Sans Code): 200,000+

Additional Word Count (With Code): 285,000+

New Total Word Count (Sans Code): 815,000+

New Total Word Count (With Code): 1,120,000+

Average Playthrough: ~65,000+ words

Note: You can view the game code on my site the same way you do on Dashingdon just add /scenes to the end of the URL.

Next Update

Merlin's Guide to Minor Neutrals

MC may appear on TV! This might not be a good thing. And they aren't the only one, cameo appearances from a future RO

Get hit with your first mass spell of nondemonic origin

Counteract with participation in your first multiuser spell

Attempt to summon Cthulhu. Dance the macarena. Have the consequences of your own inaction potentially bite you in the arse-- I mean what?

RO #4 finally appears.

Also quick reminder that the Alpha Build of the game on Patreon updates as I complete each section, so is currently on Chapter 2-3.

Link to New Polls on the Update (Which don't auto close in a week like the Tumblr ones)

More (Fiddly) Info on the Update Behind the Spoiler Cut...

The Update Also Includes...

Added section where the devil's mark is found if you change into short sleeve clothes right before packing up to leave

Added more neutral way of deciding not to claim dibs on a past Camelot incarnation

Added more flavor text regarding the vending machine in the fencing club route

Fixed continuity bug regarding your mask while exploring the empty city

Fixed continuity bug with Adrian's text messages in the Fencing Club route (Again!)

Added Fou and Petit Cru as default names for the Arthurian lore references to the default pet names

Fixed reference to nonexistent pet at the start of the book club route (which won't be finished for awhile)

Fixed some behind-the-scenes bugs with variable incrementing

Changed brave_sir_robin & merlin_warn to numerical variable instead of true/false (might cause bugs with prior saves that triggered those flags)

Fixed a bunch of typos and smaller bugs that I've completely lost track of at this point, but pretty much guarantee every section got re-edited

[morbethgames]

The Recoding of The Bureau is Finished

I’m done recoding the game. All in all, it was honestly about what I expected to be slimmed off once I got a good look at some of the scenes. As I expected, 90% of that were from the first 3 chapters. I am a mix of emotions after arduously spending hours upon hours replacing gender variables one at a time by hand. Which unfortunately, I couldn’t think of another way for doing it, because all of the characters were using the same gender variables instead of independent ones for each character.

I’m relieved it’s done. Disappointed in myself that I had to do it at all. Irritated that some people decided to put the game on blast for it rather than give actionable suggestions on how to fix it. Excited to finally be able to continue writing both the extra scenes that need to be written and the main story. I honestly don’t know which one I’m going to continue with first.

Please leave feedback.

There are still no doubt one or two spots with maybe 1-2k words each that could be slimmed down, but that would require a lot of work for very little payoff. So yes, I’m comfortable saying, the game is almost 400k words long in total. 85k words per playthrough. That’s not including the extra scenes in the stats screen, because randomtest doesn’t go in the stats screen (to my knowledge at least, someone can correct me if I’m wrong). So you still have to play the game roughly 5 times and choose different choices to see everything it has to offer.

Is the game smaller? A bit, yeah. Is it 100-150k? It’s more than double that.

Now, that doesn’t say anything for the state of some of the writing. If I have to read someone nodding, or smiling, or ‘slightly’, ‘a bit’, or ‘a little’ something in my own work again, I’m gonna jump out a window. Obviously, back when I started writing this, I was very much influenced by Wayhaven. I’ve since grown out of that idea. Since the game has taken on an identity of its own, and while I will forever be grateful to that series and continue to support it, there’s gonna be some changes in the final version of this game. Less of what I said above, less ellipses, and the flirting (especially in the beginning) will seem much more down to earth and believable for the setting it’s in, with a bit of wiggle room since this is still very much a YA game.

Please leave feedback.

The rewrite will not be happening until the first draft of the game is fully finished. I refuse to get stuck in a rewrite phase, mostly because I would just find it way too boring.

My patreon will continue to have static fiction on it, as well as sneak peeks into upcoming stuff. In case you’ve been missing it, Love In Stasis is up to Chapter 6 at this point, with more to come. I’m also thinking about potentially starting a horror static fiction.

I’ll be relying on people to playtest this new version of the game to tell me about any continuity errors, and gender errors, any anything errors. So please, play the demo. Let me know if you notice anything. I think if I’ve proved anything at this point, it’s that I act and fix things based on feedback.

And pettiness.

But mostly feedback.

Please leave feedback.

Last thing I’ll say; I’m gonna stop saying I’m bad at coding. Someone who’s bad at coding wouldn’t have been able to implement the text boxes and fine tune them. Someone who’s bad at coding wouldn’t have been able to code Golden Eyes. Someone who’s bad at coding wouldn’t have been able to slim down the game that much from where it was. So it’s time I give myself the credit of someone who at least knows what they’re doing. I’m not adept at it, but I’m certainly not bad at it either.

I’m still expecting the game to end up over 500k words when all is said and done. It will not be one million words, but I’m actually kind of happy about that. This is proof I’m still working on this game, and the next time it updates, it will have new content. Thanks for those that are patient and stick around, your support does still genuinely mean a lot.

Please leave feedback.

Stay Brilliant,

-Vi

P.S. Please leave feedback.

🛡️Patreon | Forum Page | Demo Link🛡️

[flowerandblood]

Play with my heart (2/3)

[ modern actors • Aemond x Strong • female ]

[ warnings: masturbation, kissing, sexual tension, eavesdropping, discomfort associated with the loss of an eye, remorse, doubts, anxiety, unprofessional behavior ]

[ description: He gets the main role in a series about a great family and dragons, which could change his career. He is set to play the uncle and love interest of his childhood friend. When he meets the actress who plays her role, he begins to lose track of what is an acting and what is his real feelings. Sexual tension, grumpy, withdrawn, thirsty Aemond. ]

Author’s note: Yeah. I talked about it and I did it. You don't even know how much fun I had doing this. Of course, my characters play in a series whose script is an exact copy of my story The Fall from the Heavens. In this universe, Aemond (playing the One-Eyed Prince) and Rhaenys (playing the Princess) are of course not related – the other characters are also just actors. This three-part series is my gift to all fans of the original series, thank you so much for your support. "Rhaenys" in this story is her artistic pseudonym which she use instead of her real name.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

After filming the scene, they rose from the bed as if nothing had happened. The director complimented her acting, saying that she was able to wonderfully portray both the innocence and temptation her character evoked. She smiled at him as he unscrewed the water bottle and took a sip from it, walking towards him.

"They say the beginnings are the hardest." She said softly, looking around, waiting for the director to review again what they had managed to record and decide if anything needed to be repeated.

"Mmm." He hummed, taking another sip of water, feeling uncomfortable now that he was standing in front of her without a script, not knowing what to say.

They stood side by side in awkward silence for a while, looking at their director – he finally said that he liked everything and they would now shoot the scene where the Prince wakes her up in the middle of the night, dragging her out of her chamber after returning from Storm's End.

When he returned to his hotel room he collapsed on his bed, tired but also content. He felt ashamed that he had forgotten the line and at the same time he was grateful that his partner on set had helped him and been supportive, warm and understanding.

He didn't know how he felt about getting aroused during the scene of them kissing – he wondered where the limit of method acting was and whether he had gotten that much into his character or whether it was something else.

He decided he wouldn't think about it, and as long as they played their parts well, nothing else mattered.

The next day there was a big breakfast together in the hotel restaurant. At the table sat the director and his deputies, the writers, producers, actors, stylists and the many other people who contributed to this gigantic production.

She smiled at him from afar and waved at him, sitting at the table in her hair tied up in a braid, on her body only a T-shirt with the Pokemon logo and yellow tracksuit shorts.

He swallowed quietly, putting his hands in his trouser pockets, and sat down next to her, greeting her and everyone else along the way, unsure of how to act. Aegon sitting on the other side of the table extended his hand to him and he shook it.

"– how are you two doing? – you already have some passionate scenes behind you, right? – he's hot, isn't he? –" He asked her partner with amusement, who laughed out loud, trying to turn his question into a joke.

"– everyone here is beautiful and talented – I'm in heaven –" She said softly, deftly avoiding answering. Aegon laughed at her words and stretched in his chair, yawning loudly, losing interest in the subject.

He reached for the cheese toast, watching out of the corner of his eye as her hands placed the pancakes on her plate, which she covered next with pouring chocolate. She lifted her gaze to him and smiled at him warmly as their gazes met – he turned his face away, feeling like a mute, his heart stuck in his throat.

Why was he acting like an idiot in front of her?

It seemed to him that she took his silence as a signal that he simply wanted to eat his breakfast in peace, so she spoke animatedly to the woman to her right, Alys Rivers, who was to play the Witch of Harrenhal.

Aegon was talking to him across the table, mentioning something about their shared scene with him and Helaena. He nodded, sipping his toast with a gulp of coffee, absorbed in his thoughts, for some reason returning to their kiss.

He'd kissed many women in his career before, but this time it was something different.

He thought she was an excellent young actress.

In the following scenes they played he saw her in a gown for the first time. He thought she looked like some immortal elf in it, beautiful and light, a warm, gentle smile directed towards him on her face.

Her gown consisted of two colours – her long, floor-length sleeves were red, and the material hugging her breasts, hips and waist was light blue. Her shoulders were bare; other than that, she wore no other jewellery, her long hair falling softly down her back, accentuating her long neck.

He swallowed hard, feeling a twinge in his gut for some reason, and turned his face away, sitting down with her at the table where, together with Aegon and Helaena, they played out the scene in which the King informed them that they would be marrying for a second time, this time before the Septon.

They spent the rest of the day in the courtyard, filming shots of them meeting years later, and their conversation after they married, when the Princess came out to speak to him.

He felt a pleasant tingling in his lower abdomen at the thought of kissing her again: to his surprise, cupping her chin and placing a tender, soft kiss on her mouth came to him with ease. Her moist, fleshy lips didn't close against his caress, on the contrary, they parted invitingly, her hand tightening on his wrist.

Encouraged, though it wasn't in the script, he took a step forward and deepened the kiss, lazily brushing her soft mouth with his, her eyes closed, a quiet, sweet sigh left her mouth.

When he pulled away, he met her gaze, warm and misty, her cheeks flushed. He stroked her jaw with his thumb and she surprised him by rising on her toes, kissing the tip of his nose.

He felt his heart pound hard at the thought that this was not in the script.

However, he checked it quickly afterwards as he prepared for the next scene and saw that the director had added it as a suggestion.

He was furious with himself for feeling disappointed.

What was he thinking?

He didn't think it would be a problem for him, but he actually felt discomfort when it was time for them to play the scene where the Prince pulls off his eye patch in front of his beloved.

A new prosthetic eye was created especially for him which looked like a sapphire to represent his character well.

He was to wear it that day instead of his usual artificial left eye.

The sapphire eye was cleaned and prepared for him by the doctor who supervised, staying with him in private in the dressing room, that all was well. The very moment he closed his eyelid and opened it he felt that it was not.

Although its surface was smooth, something was wrong about its shape, rubbing his eye socket, once in a while pressing on a nerve under his skin from which shivers ran through him.

"It will take at least a few days to polish and change it."

He thought with a pursed lips that they didn't have that much time.

The shooting schedule was set to the hour.

He figured he would just get into his character's suffering more than he should.

As he walked onto the set he was met by her warm, comforting smile. He closed his eyes, clamping his fingers on the base of his nose, trying to listen in peace to what their director had to say to them.

"It's a scene of their tenderness, their closeness, at last devoid of subconscious brutality. In that one moment they reclaim each other." He said, and they nodded their heads.

In the original, this was accompanied by a sex scene, but the screenwriters decided that affectionate, passionate kissing would suffice here.

The thought that he would be able to do this to her made his heart pound like crazy, but he couldn't enjoy it: he clenched his eyes again and again, feeling discomfort.

Feeling pain.

For some reason, he thought he deserved it for his inability to be professional, for what they were doing was out of his control.

Rhaenys sat down on the desk and he stepped in front of her, between her thighs, her dark blue dress with exposed shoulders and sleeves reaching the ground perfectly accentuated her graceful figure.

She smiled, placing her hands on his shoulders, his fingers involuntarily running over her waist.

"Action!"

He took a step towards her, cupping her face in his hands, trying to focus only on her gentle gaze, only on her warm breath, only on how soft her skin was, instead of the fact that pain was filling his skull.

"Rhaenys." He whispered tenderly, pleadingly – the discomfort he felt made his words resound as if he was in pain – in pain because of the fact that they were separate.

She blinked, surprised and somehow touched, clearly appreciating his acting, which was only a matter of coincidence. She lifted her hand to his eye patch and he grabbed her wrist violently, her breath stuck in her throat.

"No." He said coldly and closed his eyes, feeling the pain as if a bolt of electricity surged through the left side of his face.

"You're my husband. That's enough." She whispered, wanting to soften her words by taking his face in her hands, making him involuntarily moan in pain. She let go of him, terrified.

"Are you okay?" She asked leaning over him and he nodded his head.

"What's going on?" The director asked them. "We're going to have to repeat the whole scene."

Fuck.

"Are you in pain? Please tell me." She whispered pleadingly and he shook his head.

"No. No, I….FUCK!" He hissed, leaning over, clasping his hand over the left side of his face, feeling such excruciating ache that he felt like ripping off his skin and tearing out all the nerves that were there.

"Call a doctor, he is in pain!" She called out, startling him by pulling the eye patch off his face. He heard her sigh in horror and cover her mouth with her hand, his stomach clenched in discomfort at the thought.

That she saw it.

That she felt disgusted.

"My God, his eye is all swollen up, what have you done to him? Can you take it out? Come." She said, taking his hand, and he walked out of the room with her like a small child, bumping into the doctor on the way.

"I warned him" He said.

"I can stay and help. If you don't mind." She said sitting down next to him on the couch in his dressing room.

He wanted to reply for her to leave, but he only groaned, unable to stand it, and as soon as the doctor had disinfected his hand he removed the sapphire prosthesis from his eye socket.

He did not know why he burst out crying.

He hid his face in his hands, feeling humiliated, thinking that the reason he had been taken for the role was because they hoped they wouldn't have to spend money on expensive CGI, but in fact he had wasted their entire day of filming.

He swallowed hard when he felt her arms embrace his head and let her lean over as she hugged him to her breasts, her pleasant scent, her warm hands stroking his jaw and back.

"Leave us alone for a moment." He heard her voice. The man nodded and said he would fetch an ointment that should soothe the abrasions.

"It would be best if you didn't wear your artificial eye today and let your eye socket rest." The man said.

"Get the FUCK out!" He growled, closing his eyes, thinking it was wonderful news, going around the set with an empty eye.

He thought it was the worst day of his life.

He swallowed hard as her forehead pressed against the top of his head, her gentle hands stroking his face, shoulders and back giving him a feeling of comfort and security.

It was so hard for him, and she was by his side.

"I admire you for holding out for so long. They should have checked that the prosthesis fit earlier, not on the day of filming. It's the production's fault and the director knows that. I'm sure he appreciates your commitment and will reorganise the work." She whispered calmly, as if she wanted to comfort him, and indeed, her words made him feel relieved.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"Don't apologise."

"Can I lay my head on your lap?" He asked in a trembling voice, wondering if his request was disrespectful.

He just wanted to close his eyes for a moment and relax.

"Yes. Yes, of course, come here." She said, turning so that he could lie down.

He turned his head so that she couldn't see his left eye socket and rested his cheek on her thighs, placing his hand on her knee. He closed his eyes and sighed quietly when he felt one of her hands on his shoulder and the other on his cheek, her thumb gently stroking his skin.

There was complete silence between them.

"I got really attached to you, you know? I hope we still keep in touch after the shooting." She whispered making him swallow hard, cold sweat trickling down his neck as he felt his manhood react to her words with an aggressive throbbing.

"Yes." He muttered. "Yes, me too."

He spent the evening in the hotel bar, meant for guests only, feeling reasonably safe there, wanting to ease his mind a little, wearing a thin bandage over his left eye that allowed air to pass through.

He resented himself for being unprofessional, for having his real feelings mixed up with what he was supposed to be playing as a Prince character.

For the first time, he doubted whether he should really be an actor.

His grandfather surprised him by walking up to him from behind, patting him on the back.

"Don't worry about the issue with the artificial eye: it was their fault and the director came to me to apologise for the prosthesis not being tested earlier. You both do a wonderful job on set. The chemistry between you two is palpable and it shows on camera." He said, sitting down next to him at the bar table.

He pressed his lips together at his words, wondering if he should confide in him.

"I don't know myself. I'm confused." He confessed, embarrassed. His grandfather looked at him in surprise as soon as he ordered a double whisky for himself.

"Confused? Because of that girl? It's normal. She's kind and pretty. If you're feeling desire, that's good. Turn it into your acting." He said lightly, however, making him feel not relief but discomfort in his stomach. He stared dully into his glass for a moment, feeling the aggressive pounding of his heart.

"… I'm not sure if what's going on inside my head is good." He said in a trembling voice. His grandfather hummed under his breath, taking a sip from the glass the man had placed in front of him.

"As usual, you think too much. Even if… well, something happens between you two, one or two nights, it's nothing terrible. On set it happens all the time. The tension is high and you have to find an outlet for it somewhere." He said.

He got up from his seat and just left, feeling that he had made him sick.

He didn't agree with him, and he didn't think that using her to get off sexually was a normal thing to do.

She was young, younger than him, still filled with enthusiasm and naivety.

He didn't want to be one of those men who would take advantage of that, seduce her and then leave her humiliated as soon as the shooting was over, saying it was just a fun.

He had casual sex with actresses, but never with those he worked with directly. Nothing came of it because their paths quickly diverged and he didn't have the desire or strength for a long-distance relationship.

He didn't care.

He took a shower, brushed his teeth, changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants and went to bed, trying not to think about the fact that tomorrow they were to play a scene in which he exposes her breasts.

Not all love scenes were left in the script, however, this one was one of them, because it was significant moment – their first real intimacy and reunion after years.

They knew there was enormous pressure on them. He could see it in her face the next day – also dressed in a night gown she was looking down at her fingers, stressed, not a trace of her smile and confidence from the auditions.

He approached her, for some reason feeling that he should comfort her, lift her spirits, let her know that they didn't have to rush.

"– do you want to talk about how we're going to do this? –" He asked quietly and she nodded, unable to even look him in the eye.

"– yes –" She mumbled.

"– so –" He began, feeling for some reason that his heart started pounding like crazy, his hands clenched into fists. "– I'd start with kisses first – on the lips, on the neck, on the shoulders – they're rubbing against each other in this scene because they're feeling arousal, so it would be a good idea to try and mimic similar…movements – then I'll slide your nightgown off your shoulders – we can agree that you will guide my hand yourself when you think you're ready for me to touch you there –" He said quickly, forcing himself to be calm and composed, feeling a cold sweat run down his back.

Why was he so terrified?

He saw that she swallowed hard and nodded, looking up at him and lowering her gaze quickly, red with embarrassment.

"– yes – yes, that's a good idea –" She said and looked at him, her gaze warm, comforting.

Kind.

"– how's your eye? –"

He lowered his gaze, looking down at his boots, embarrassed.

"It's better now. Thank you. For everything. I don't want you to be scared today. Tell me if you feel something is wrong. Okay?" He hummed, and she nodded quickly, giving him a grateful smile.

"– thank you – I will –"

He swallowed heavily when the director told them to take their places. He sat down in a chair and she walked over to him, looking at him questioningly. He nodded, extending his hand to her to help her up, and she sat awkwardly on his thighs. He gently placed his hand on her hip, forcing her to slide closer to his chest, just as scripted.

They both swallowed hard as his manhood pulsed between her thighs under the material of his breeches, touching the material of her flesh-coloured panties, but neither of them said anything.

"– we will take it slow – okay? –" He encouraged her, gently cupping her cheek in his hand, bringing her face close to his. She nodded and smiled warmly at him, as if he had said exactly what she needed to hear.

"– okay –" She said.

Their director nodded at them.

"Let's try to get a feel for it first. This scene is about building tension slowly. If you feel discomfort, speak up, we'll try to do something about it. Ready?" He asked, and they nodded their heads like little children.

"Action!"

Apart from the sizzle of the fire in the fireplace to their right, surrounding their faces with warm light, there was complete silence around them.

He waited a moment before he pulled her face closer to him and his lips tentatively brushed hers in a slow, shy, moist kiss. He felt her body involuntarily move closer to him, her arms closing his neck in an tender embrace.

He felt her soft breasts through the material of his tunic, his hands traveled down her waist to her hip which he began to stroke in a soft, lazy, affectionate motion. She sighed softly into his mouth making his half-hard erection hit the space between her thighs again.

They froze in mid-motion and he was already about to apologise to her, telling her to stop, when this time it was she who leaned in. His voice went dead in his throat as her lips pressed against his, her body rubbing uncertainly against what was beneath her.

Fuck.

He thought as his hips tentatively came out to meet her, pressing what was in his breeches between her thighs, making it swell and pulsate, that this was not a good idea.

He knew she could feel it and that turned him on even more.

Her breath had become heavy and accelerated, their kisses messier, stickier, warmer, his fingers involuntarily dug into the skin of her hips hidden beneath the thin material.

"– uncle –" She mewled into his mouth in a way from which his erection became completely hard, his hand clamped down on her neck, forcing her to stay still as he slid his tongue deep into her throat.

She moaned, startled, gripping his shoulders, rolling her hips back and forth as if in a trance, teasing him deliberately, squeezing his length between his lower abdomen and her body again and again, the tip of her slick tongue licking his.

"– it tickles – here –" She mumbled helplessly, pressing her forehead against his, looking down, between her thighs, watching his bulge twitching in his breeches, which, however, only they could see.

He should have said his line, but instead, completely stunned by her behaviour and smell, he grabbed the material of her nightgown and slid it off her shoulders, snuggling his face between her sweet breasts.

She opened her mouth wide, shocked and moaned, hugging his head to her heart, making his cock throb hard. She took his hand in hers and guided it up, to her breast – he gasped, shocked how good it felt, squeezing tentatively her plump softness with his fingers, placing sticky, wet kisses on her sternum, her hands buried in his hair pressed him tighter against her bare, hot skin.

It seemed to him that she was as shocked by this sensation as he was, for she began to moan quietly – her nipple became hard under his thumb as he began to rub and tease it, his free hand clamped down on her buttock, again and again rubbing his painfully swollen erection against her.

He was turned on.

"Cut! What chemistry, I'm at a loss for words!" The director called out, and he let her go immediately.

She jumped back and got off his lap, inhaling heavily as if she was out of breath, putting the material of her nightgown quickly over her shoulders and breasts, the stylist said something to her and she just nodded, looking at him with big eyes.

He crossed his legs quickly and grunted, covering his mouth with his hand, looking towards the fire, pretending to listen to one of the assistants saying that now that they were all in emotion they would try to film their conversation years later.

Although they tried, neither of them could concentrate and they forgot their lines over and over again.

"What's going on with you two? Do you need a break?" The director asked them, and they replied at the same time that they did.

It frightened him to see her leave immediately, the thought that she might nevertheless have felt uncomfortable, that he had done something that crossed the line for her, but she was afraid to tell him.

He got up and followed her, heading for the rooms where they were changing and getting their make-up done, standing in front of the door with her name on it.

He froze when he heard a strange sound that seemed to him to be a moan of pain. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask if she was all right, if he could come inside, but then she made a different sound, a more familiar one that made his erection throb hard in his breeches.

He heard her quiet panting mixed with sweet, innocent mewls of pleasure, from which he himself began to breathe through his mouth, shocked.

He leaned his forehead against the door, wanting to hear it better, with the corner of his eye looking to see if anyone was around, but they were all on the set. He thought he was just a pervert when his hand travelled deep under the material of his trousers, clamping down on his long, swollen cock, twitching painfully with desire in his hand.

He imagined what she looked like now, digging her delicate fingers into her fleshy walls, leaking with moisture, pulsing because of him, because of what he had done to her, because of his kisses and touch.

He drew in a loud breath and pressed his lips together, giving himself a firmer squeeze at the base, imagining that he had grasped her thighs in his hands and spread them in front of his face, sinking his mouth into her wonderful, delicate folds, licking and caressing her little cunt.

He sped up, hearing the quiet sounds in her room become more vulnerable and helpless, and after a moment she moaned a little louder with some kind of relief.

He opened his mouth wide when he felt his warm semen spurt out onto his fingers at the thought that she had just come because of him.

He cursed under his breath as he looked at his hand and headed quickly to the bathroom, afraid that anyone would see him.

As he washed his hands in the sink he looked at his reflection, at his white wig and eye patch, and decided that he was beginning to lose control, that he no longer knew which feelings were his and which were his character's.

He was terrified and had no one to tell about it.

He only saw her at dinner that evening, and although she sat next to him, she didn't look at him. He pressed his lips together at the thought that she was as ashamed as he was, only she had no idea that he knew what she had done and that he had done exactly the same thing himself.

He was crushed by a sense of guilt that he didn't know what to do with.

He decided to finally speak to her, feeling his heart in his throat, playing with his fingers.

"Did I overdo it? Today during our scene." He asked in a trembling voice, trying to sound indifferent and cool. She looked at him surprised, putting her glass of juice down on the table.

"– I – no, I'm sorry I left so suddenly – it's just that all of this – all of this has overwhelmed me –" She muttered, looking down at her hands lying on her lap.

He looked at her in silence, feeling a squeeze in his throat at the thought that he understood her, that perhaps they felt the same way.

"– if you don't mind – I'd like to rehearse scenes with you before we play them – I'd like to talk to you about them – I have too much chaos in my head and no one to share it with –" She said, looking up at him finally, her brow furrowed in fear that he would not take her suggestion well.

He, however, felt some wonderful kind of relief.

"– yes – yes, that's a great idea –"

They spent the next few days acting out scenes, talking to each other for hours in the evenings in the hotel restaurant or her room about how they wanted to portray particular dialogues.

"– then when they're arguing I think to approach it more along the lines that: he just wants forgiveness and she's tired of him always expecting her to forgive him, even though he himself has held a grudge against her for so many years – something like: what should I do now? – divorce you? –" She asked sternly, getting into character for a moment, wanting to show him what she meant.

He hummed at her words and nodded, intrigued.

"– yes – yes, I think it's a good track – he's broken, exposed, afraid of the visions of that witch – he tries to push it away, but because of the way he represses it, everything he's afraid of comes back to him in nightmares –" He said, half lying half sitting on her bed with a copy of the script in his hand, the other gesturing as if he were a lecturer.

She nodded quickly at his words, sitting down next to him on the sheets, excited.

"– yes, exactly – he locks too much inside himself, and everything he fears then manifests itself in his dreams – his thoughts overwhelming him more and more and filled his mind like water that finally bursts his skull –"

"– a drop drills a rock –" He murmured and she snapped her fingers.

"– exactly –" She said, swinging her legs.

Unintentionally, his gaze traveled over her figure – her light-coloured sweatshirt with Jigglypuff from Pokemons seemed very fluffy to him, white tracksuit shorts and pretty white floral socks on her legs.

"– are you still watching this? –" He grinned with amusement. She cocked her head, smiling broadly.

"– what? –"

"– Pokemons –"

She giggled, embarrassed; the sound, innocent and sweet, made him feel a tightening in his throat and a pleasant tingling in his lower abdomen.

"– yes, but only the first few seasons – you know – the classics –" She said, closing her eyes proudly, as if she were speaking some work of Shakespeare.

"– mmm – I watched this when I was a kid –" He confessed, and she shifted towards him, delighted, surprising him completely.

"– I have a laptop – do you want to watch the first episodes together and order a pizza? –"

Though the suggestion seemed absurd to him, he agreed, and it wasn't long before he was watching, lying next to her on her bed, with a big carton of pizza lying on their bellies, as Ash tried to tame Pikachu.

"– God, how long it's been since I've watched this –" He muttered, feeling some kind of melancholy. He heard her melodious, joyful laughter.

"– I know this episode by heart –" She said between one greedy bite of pizza and another, clearly pleased and happy.

For some reason, despite his rather solitary nature, he felt comfortable around her. Her behavior made him feel like he wasn't being judged or watched – he knew he could say at any time that he was going back to his room to rest, and she wouldn't hold it against him.

He caught himself thinking that he really liked her.

What made him involuntarily distance himself from closer acquaintanceships with actresses was that it often seemed to him that they played offstage as well – they stepped into the role of innocent, sweet, dreamy romantics or passionate unapproachable women, but in fact he had no idea if he knew them at all.

With her, however, it was different – her sudden, unexpected reactions, the glint in her eye, her smile and unthinking remarks were real.

For some reason, her character, her presence had a soothing effect on him.

He was ashamed to admit that he liked her a little too much.

He kept repeating to himself that just one more episode and he would go, but another and another flew by. Her warm, soft body was wonderfully close, their arms were pressed against each other, their heads lying side by side on the pillow, as they looked at the laptop lying between their legs.

For some reason he felt like a little child again who was about to spend the night with his mate.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and noticed that her eyes were closed, her lips parted slightly, her head tilted to one side in deep sleep.

Something captured him in this sight – the thought that she felt comfortable and good enough with him that she had fallen asleep.

He rose slowly, taking the large pizza box from their thighs, setting it down on the floor and rose, trying to be quiet. She twisted around and hummed something as he covered her with the duvet and turned off the lamp, feeling somehow proud of himself for treating her the way she deserved it.

It was as if he had a friend.

[mrsfancyferrari]

Destiny's Will

Summary: You and Carlos were childhood friends until you two were separated before he got to F1. The next time they meet, they're enemies.

Song: Under The Influence by Chris Brown

Author’s note: This might be the longest story I've written! I hope you enjoy this long journey which may take a full day to read. Warning: sex scenes at the end. Please like, reblog and share this! <3

Word count: 18.6k

MASTERLIST - F1

You and Carlos had been inseparable as childhood friends, spending countless hours playing and exploring together, until your parents had to move and you were separated. It was a painful time for both of you, as you mourned the loss of your dear friend.

You both knew that life would take you on different paths, but you were determined to find Carlos again.

Years went by, and you grew into your own person. While Carlos pursued his dreams in F1, you dedicated yourself to studying mechanics. You knew that being with Carlos would require you to be by his side, and you were determined to find a way for that to happen.

Fate had a different plan in store for you. One day, McLaren, one of the most prestigious teams in F1, offered you a job. It was an unexpected turn of events, but it felt like a sign that your paths were destined to cross again.

With this opportunity, you realized that not only would you have the chance to work in the same industry as Carlos, but you could also potentially be reunited with your childhood friend.

The excitement and hope filled your heart as you eagerly accepted the job offer, knowing that this was the beginning of a new chapter in your lives.

It was the opportunity of a lifetime, and you couldn't resist.

However, little did you know that this decision would make you an enemy to Carlos. . . .

Today, you were going to get a tour of the paddock and the McLaren's garage.

As you stood in front of the mirror, you couldn't help but feel a mix of anticipation and nerves. You wore a sleek black McLaren team jacket, proudly displaying the team's logo on your chest.

Underneath, you had chosen a crisp white shirt, symbolizing your dedication to professionalism and attention to detail.

Completing the ensemble were tailored black pants and polished leather shoes, reflecting your commitment to excellence in every aspect of your life.

Adjusting your tie one last time, you took a deep breath and reminded yourself that today was not just about impressing your colleagues, but also about showing Carlos that you had made something of yourself too.

As you looked at the bracelet that you wore, a surge of nostalgia washed over you. You remembered the day you and Carlos made those bracelets for each other, promising to always stay connected no matter where life took you. It was a symbol of your unbreakable bond and the unwavering friendship you shared.

When you heard the honk of your Uber, you quickly left your apartment, excitedly locking the door behind you. As you settled into the car, you couldn't help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation building up.

The ride to the paddock was filled with thoughts of what the day would bring, wondering if you would have a chance encounter with Carlos and how he would react to seeing you in the McLaren team jacket. . . .

As you walked through the bustling paddock, you couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and excitement. The smell of burnt rubber and the sound of engines roaring filled the air, creating an atmosphere of adrenaline and anticipation.

You couldn't wait to see the state-of-the-art equipment and meet the talented engineers who made it all possible.

Stepping into the McLaren's garage, you were greeted by a symphony of metallic clinks and the sight of mechanics working diligently on the sleek race cars. The precision and attention to detail were evident in every corner, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride knowing that you were now a part of his world.

As you stood in awe of the McLaren garage, a staff member approached you and introduced themselves as Sarah, the tour guide assigned to show you around.

"Welcome to McLaren! We're thrilled to have you here," she said enthusiastically. "Let me show you our state-of-the-art facilities and introduce you to some of the talented engineers who make it all happen."

You followed Sarah, eager to soak in every detail and seize this opportunity to learn from the best in the industry.

As you walked together, Sarah pointed out various areas of the garage, explaining the intricate processes involved in preparing the race cars for competition. You listened attentively, asking questions and marveling at the level of expertise displayed by the mechanics.

The conversation flowed easily, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of camaraderie as Sarah shared stories of her own journey within the team.

It was clear that everyone at McLaren shared a passion for excellence and a dedication to pushing the boundaries of what was possible in the world of motorsport.

"Since you are assigned to be Lando's engineer," Sarah stated, "you will have to be able to keep a professional relationship with him. It's important to establish clear boundaries and maintain a focus on your responsibilities. However, don't worry, Lando is a great guy to work with, and I'm sure you'll build a strong working relationship with him."

You nodded, taking in Sarah's advice and feeling a renewed sense of determination to excel in your role as Lando's engineer.

As you listened to Sarah's advice, a flood of memories rushed back to your mind. You couldn't help but smile as you remembered the days when you and Lando were childhood friends, racing go-karts together and dreaming of one day making it big in the world of motorsport with Carlos.

Despite the professional boundaries that now needed to be established, you were grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with an old friend and work alongside him in this prestigious team.

Deep down, you knew that your shared history would only strengthen the bond between you, both on and off the track.

"Oh there he is, Lando Norris," Sarah said, seeing him talking to Oscar in the room.

As you looked over at Lando, you couldn't help but notice how much he had grown since those go-karting days. He carried himself with a newfound confidence and maturity, a testament to the years of hard work and dedication he had put into his racing career.

Gone were the boyish features and wide-eyed enthusiasm, replaced by the steely determination of a seasoned professional.

Yet, despite the changes, there was still a spark in Lando's eyes that reminded you of the child who would stay up all night discussing racing strategies and dreaming of victory.

It was a reminder that, underneath the polished exterior, he was still the same passionate and driven individual you had known all those years ago.

His eyes then went to you as his name was called, his eyes flicked from identifying you to recognizing you, and a wide smile spread across his face.

It was a heartwarming moment as you saw the genuine excitement and warmth in his eyes, confirming that the bond you once shared as childhood friends was still alive and well.

"Lando, this is-" Sarah tried to introduce you but there was no need. You already knew each other too well to forget.

"Y/N! What the hell?" Lando yelled in excitement, running towards you and leaving Oscar in a flash.

Sarah was shocked when Lando had said your name, looking at you for some explanation. She looked at you, waiting for an explanation as to how you knew each other so well.

As Lando reached you, he enveloped you in a bear hug, lifting you off the ground for a moment. The familiar warmth and strength of his embrace instantly transported you back to the countless playful wrestling matches you had as kids.

It was a nostalgic reminder of the unbreakable bond that had formed between you, a bond that had withstood the test of time and distance.

You couldn't help but chuckle at her bewildered expression. "Surprise," you said, flashing a mischievous grin. "Lando and I go way back. Childhood friends, in fact."

"Y/N! I can't believe you're here!" Lando repeated, his pitch getting higher with excitement.

"Lando, it's so great to see you too," you said, returning his hug with equal enthusiasm. "I couldn't pass up the opportunity to come and support you at such a momentous race. Plus, I wanted to see the incredible racer you've become with my own eyes."

Lando beamed at your words, his eyes shining with gratitude and excitement.

"I can't wait to catch up and hear all about your journey," you added, knowing that there were countless stories and experiences to share since the last time you saw each other.

"So you were the new engineer that graduated from that rich school huh?"

"I've gotten some skills under my sleeves," You smirked, giving out your hand. "It's nice working with you Mr. Norris."

Lando looked disguised at your formalities to him, and you couldn't help but burst into laughter at his reaction. "Mr. Norris? Seriously?" he exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Come on, Y/N, we're way past that. Just call me Lando, like you always did."

You chuckled and nodded, realizing that no matter how much time had passed, some things would never change between the two of you. "Alright, Lando, you got it. Let's get to work and show them what we're capable of."

"Oh Oscar, come over to meet my childhood friend Y/N!" Lando called over Oscar, who looked shy but intrigued.

You extended your hand and gave him a warm smile. "Nice to meet you, Oscar. I have heard so much about you. We're going to make a great team."

Oscar's shyness melted away as he shook your hand, and he replied, "I'm looking forward to it, Y/N. Lando speaks highly of you."

As you and Lando started reminiscing about your childhood adventures, Oscar's eyes lit up with curiosity. "Tell me more! What kind of mischief did you two get into?" he asked eagerly.

You and Lando exchanged mischievous grins before launching into a series of stories, recounting the epic treehouse battles, daring bike stunts, and secret hideouts that defined your friendship.

Oscar listened intently, captivated by the bond you both shared and excited to be a part of the team.

"Have you met Carlos? I knew you were very close to him before you had to move," Lando asked, his voice filled with genuine curiosity.

"Actually, I haven't had the chance to meet Carlos yet," you replied, a hint of nostalgia in your voice. "We lost touch after I moved, but I'm glad to hear that you've stayed close. How is he?"

"I'm sure he'd love to catch up with you," Lando said with a smile. "He's doing well since he moved to being in Ferrari. You should find out yourself, Y/N. I know he would be thrilled to reconnect with you."

"I will, when the time comes," you said, understanding the importance of not distracting Carlos before an important race.

"Today is all about getting to know the team and settling into our new roles. But I'm definitely looking forward to catching up with Carlos and hearing about his experiences in Ferrari."

You spent the rest of the day learning about McLaren's garage. The McLaren garage is a state-of-the-art facility that houses the team's cars, equipment, and personnel.

It is a highly organised and efficient workspace, designed to maximise the team's performance on the track.

The garage is divided into several distinct areas, each with a specific function. The main work area is where the mechanics and engineers work on the cars, making adjustments and repairs as needed. There is also a separate area for the pit crew, who are responsible for the lightning-fast tyre changes during pit stops.

The garage also features a dedicated area for the team's data analysis, where engineers pore over telemetry and other data to identify areas for improvement.

The attention to detail and the level of organisation in the McLaren garage is truly impressive, and it is clear that the team leaves no stone unturned in their pursuit of success. . . . .

After the race, you went up to Lando to congratulate him on getting on the podium.

"Lando, that was an incredible drive! You really showed your talent out there today," You said, giving him a hug.

Lando smiled, still buzzing from the adrenaline of the race. "Thanks Y/N. The team has worked so hard, and it's great to be able to deliver a podium for them."

"You were so composed under pressure, especially towards the end when you were defending that position. It must have been nerve-wracking, but you handled it brilliantly," You commented, impressed by his mature performance.

Lando nodded. "It wasn't easy, but I just focused on hitting my marks and not making any mistakes. The car felt great, and I knew if I could just keep it together, I had a shot at the podium."

"Well, you more than delivered. This is just the start for you, I'm sure. With performances like that, the sky's the limit. Congratulations again, Lando. You should be very proud of yourself today," You said, giving him a warm pat on the back.

Carlos had gotten 2nd place, which you were extremely happy about. He had put in so much hard work and dedication, and it was wonderful to see that effort pay off. As he was bombarded with interviews, you tried to talk to him, to offer your congratulations and share in his success.

However, the throngs of reporters and cameras made it difficult to get a moment alone with him. You could see the pride and excitement on his face, and it filled you with joy to witness his achievement. Even though you couldn't speak with him directly, just being there to support him meant the world.

As Lando stepped up to the podium, the opening notes of the British national anthem began to play. A hush fell over the stadium as the crowd rose to their feet, placing their hands over their hearts in a show of respect and national pride.

The stirring melody filled the air, evoking a sense of tradition and history that resonated deeply with the British athletes and spectators alike.

Carlos was second place and looked proud of himself as he looked over at the crowd. He had given it his all during the competition and was pleased with the result. The hard work and dedication he had put in over the past months had paid off.

As Carlos stood on the podium, he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. He knew that coming in second place was no small feat, and he was grateful for the opportunity to showcase his skills. The crowd's cheers and applause filled him with a surge of pride, and he couldn't wait to celebrate his achievement with his team and loved ones.

You were in the crowd, supporting Lando, but your eyes were fixed on Carlos the whole time.

Carlos has always been a handsome man, even from a young age. His chiselled jawline and piercing brown eyes have always been captivating, drawing the attention of those around him.

As he has matured, his features have only become more refined and attractive.

Now, in his later years, Carlos' good looks have only improved. His once youthful features have developed a distinguished, sophisticated air about them. The slight lines around his eyes only serve to enhance his rugged charm, making him all the more alluring.

It is clear that Carlos has aged gracefully, his natural handsomeness only growing more pronounced with time.

You've always had a crush on him, ever since you two were young. There was just something about him that captivated you - his kind eyes, his infectious laugh, the way he carried himself with such confidence. Even back then, you found yourself drawn to him, stealing glances when you thought he wasn't looking.

And now, seeing him face-to-face again after all these years, those feelings have only grown stronger. The way he smiles, the sound of his voice, the little mannerisms you had never forgotten - it's all flooding back, and you can feel your heart racing.

You find yourself falling for him all over again, and you can't help but wonder if he feels the same way too. . . .

Carlos stood on the podium, a wide grin spreading across his face as he gazed out at the crowd. His eyes scanned the sea of faces.

He remembered the time when they were young and he came in second place, and you were there cheering me on like a madman.

He couldn't help but chuckle, the memory flooding back to him. "How could I forget?" he muttered to himself.

When the results were announced, you threw your arms around him. "Second place, you legend! I'm so proud of you."

He looked at you, eyes shining. "Thanks, my friend but I wish I had gotten first place for you,"

Your face blushed at his words, a mix of joy and embarrassment washing over you. "Oh Carlos, you don't have to do that. Just having you here, seeing you succeed, is enough for me," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity.

"Just make sure you're here when I get first place okay?"

"Of course! I'll always be by your side!"

It was one of the last races you saw of Carlos and you were there with him to cheer for him all the way to the finish line . . .

He continued to scan the crowd, his eyes darting from face to face until they suddenly caught someone else's eyes.

His eyes widened in surprise as he tried to identify them, but he was certain that it was you. Memories of your shared past came rushing back, and a mix of emotions flooded over him - excitement, curiosity, and perhaps even a hint of nervousness.

Your features were still the same from when you were young. Your bright, expressive eyes had the same warm, captivating gaze that had always drawn people in. The gentle curves of your face, the delicate structure of your cheekbones and jawline, remained unchanged, giving you a timeless beauty.

Even the small, unique details - the faint freckles dusting your nose, the slight upturn of your lips when you smiled - were exactly as they had been years ago, a testament to your enduring allure.

Time had done nothing to diminish the striking, natural elegance that had always been a part of you.

When our eyes met, your face fell as you realized he was staring at you. The intensity of his gaze caught you off guard, sending a shiver down your spine.

In that moment, you felt exposed, like he could see right through you. His unwavering stare made you suddenly self-conscious, unsure of how to react. The tension hung heavy in the air, leaving you feeling uneasy and uncertain.

You knew instinctively that he would stop at nothing to track you down and locate your whereabouts.

No matter how hard you tried to evade his search, you were acutely aware that his unwavering resolve would lead him directly to you.

You weren’t ready to face him, to face his younger self, who just wants to yell at you for leaving him at his worst moment. . . .

When the podium celebration was over, the McLaren team went into the garage to celebrate more for Lando's win. The team was ecstatic and filled with joy after seeing their driver secure a well-deserved victory.

Inside the garage, the mechanics, engineers, and the entire crew gathered to congratulate Lando and toast to the team's success. It was a moment of pure elation as they savored the triumph and looked forward to more victories in the future.

You were walking to the celebration when suddenly someone grabbed your arm. You whirled around, startled, ready to defend yourself.

But then you recognized the person - it was Carlos.

Carlos was still a sight to behold, even as the years had passed. His features had only grown more refined and distinguished with time. Standing just a few centimeters away, one couldn't help but be captivated by the striking symmetry of his face.

His strong jawline and chiseled cheekbones gave him an air of rugged masculinity, while his deep, soulful eyes conveyed an intensity that was both alluring and compelling. The subtle lines that had formed around those eyes only served to lend him an air of wisdom and experience, a testament to the life he had lived.

His full, sensual lips remained as tempting as they had been in their youth, beckoning to be kissed.

Even his brown messy hair added to his undeniable charisma, a visual representation of the maturity and refinement that now graced his appearance.

"Carlos, I... I didn't expect to see you here," You stammered, caught off guard by Carlos' sudden appearance. The words tumbled out hesitantly, as you struggled to regain your composure.

Carlos spoke quickly, his tone rushed and urgent. "Y/N L/N, it is you. I wasn’t being delusional. I'm sorry, I just - I had to come to see. I couldn't stay away any longer."

I felt my heart racing, unsure of how to respond. "Carlos-"

“Hey guys, what’s going on here, a family reunion?” Lando said, coming out of the corner and unaware of the tension.

“You knew?” Carlos asked his best friend, clearly offended that this was hidden.

“Of course I knew, she’s my engineer, I have to know her,“ Lando stated as he stood beside you, “Well I knew today but we all have history don’t we?”

Carlos was still in shock at your sudden appearance. We had been close friends when we were young, but you had disappeared years ago. Now, here you are, unexpectedly reappearing as Lando's engineer.

Carlos couldn't believe his eyes. After all this time, you had suddenly reemerged, and in such an unexpected role. Carlos struggled to process what was happening, as you stood before him, once again a part of his life, but in a completely new capacity.

The reunion was undoubtedly surprising and disorienting for Carlos. Just the sight of me, after so long, was enough to leave him reeling. It was as if the past had come rushing back, bringing with it a whirlwind of emotions and questions.

“I’d hate to ruin your reunion but I’ve got a win to celebrate and the team wants to toast our lucky charm,” Lando explained, gesturing to you with a smile. “But you two have the dinner to talk,”

Lando didn’t even give you time to say goodbye before dragging you away.

When you looked back to even get a glimpse of him, Carlos' eyes locked onto your, burning with a raw, primal desire. The intensity of his gaze sent shivers down your spine, igniting a spark deep within you. His eyes smoldered with an unspoken hunger, yearning to devour you wholly.

There was a wild, untamed quality to his stare that made your breath catch in your throat. You could feel the weight of his desire pressing against you, electrifying every nerve.

You must have seen his expressions wrong because there was no way he liked you or desired you in that way.

The McLaren crew and Lando welcomed you with open arms, and you spent the rest of the night celebrating Lando’s win together. Over drinks and laughter, you got to know the team on a more personal level, gaining insights into their passions, aspirations, and the camaraderie that fuels their success.

It was a night filled with shared stories, friendly banter, and a genuine sense of excitement for the future. As the evening drew to a close, you felt a deeper connection to the McLaren family, inspired by their dedication and the palpable energy that permeated the room.

It was an unforgettable experience, and you couldn't help but feel honored to have been a part of it.

As you unlocked the door to your apartment, a wave of guilt washed over you. It was in this moment that you recalled how you had abruptly disappeared from Carlos' life without any explanation.

The weight of your actions settled heavily on your conscience, and you couldn't help but feel remorseful for leaving him in the dark. The realization hit you hard, and you knew that you had to find a way to make amends for the pain you had caused.

But with no contact information for Carlos, you were left feeling helpless and unsure of how to reach out to him.

No matter how hard you tried to focus on the data in front of you, Carlos's presence lingered in your thoughts like an unwelcome guest.

Each line of code and every spreadsheet cell seemed to remind you of his piercing gaze, his touch, and the unspoken tension between you. It was as if the numbers and figures on the screen were mocking your attempts to escape the memories of that night.

As you scrolled through the data, a mix of longing and regret washed over you, fueling a desire to find a way to reconnect with Carlos and make things right.

But with each passing minute, the task of finding his contact information felt more daunting and elusive, leaving you in a state of uncertainty and longing.

You'll see him at the group dinner. You'll explain everything to him at the dinner party. You tried to reassure yourself but it didn't reduce the thoughts of Carlos hating you even more.

You rehearsed the words over and over in your mind, hoping that they would come out just right when you finally saw Carlos at the group dinner. You wanted to apologize, to explain yourself, and to make things right between the two of you.

But deep down, a part of you feared that your words would fall on deaf ears, that Carlos would never be able to forgive you for what you had done.

The thought of facing him at the group dinner filled you with a mix of anxiety and anticipation, as you prepared yourself for the difficult conversation that lay ahead.

There were two possible outcomes that weighed heavily on your mind as you prepared for the conversation with Carlos at the group dinner.

Either he would listen to your explanation and find it in his heart to forgive you, or he would remain resentful and unwilling to give you a second chance.

The uncertainty of which path the conversation would take only intensified your anxiety, leaving you on edge as you awaited the moment when you would finally face Carlos.

You just hoped that he would listen to you with an open heart and give you the opportunity to express your remorse.

You knew that words alone might not be enough to mend the broken trust between you, but you were willing to try anything to salvage what was left of your relationship with Carlos. . . .

╔═ * . · : · . ✧ ✦ ✧ . · : · . * ═╗

╚═ * . · : · . ✧ ✦ ✧ . · : · . * ═╝

As you stood in front of the mirror, examining the various necklaces laid out on your dresser, you couldn't help but feel a wave of indecision wash over you.

Should you go for the delicate silver pendant that your mom had given you on your last year? Or perhaps the bold statement necklace that always seemed to catch everyone's attention?

The weight of the decision felt overwhelming, as if the necklace you choose could somehow determine the outcome of the conversation you were about to have with Carlos.

As a knock came on your door, Lando's voice came through, breaking your train of thought. "Hey, are you ready?" he asked, his voice filled with excitement.

You turned away from the mirror and walked towards the door and opening it for him, feeling a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. "Almost," you replied, trying to hide your indecision. "Just give me a few more minutes."

Lando nodded understandingly, and you couldn't help but wonder if he could sense the weight of the decision you were about to make.

As you glanced back at the mirror, you couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that this choice was more than just about a piece of jewelry. It symbolized your inner struggle and the uncertainty of the path ahead.

The weight of the decision seemed to hang in the air, intertwining with your emotions, as you knew that whatever necklace you chose would carry a piece of your heart into that conversation with Carlos.

"I would pick the silver necklace, if that's what you're debating about," Lando commented as he leaned against the wall.

"Thanks Lando! We can go now," You replied, quickly clipping the necklace and grabbing your handbag before heading for Lando's car.

As you sat in the passenger seat of Lando's car, the nervous energy in the air was palpable. The drive to the restaurant felt like a journey into the unknown, not just because of the impending conversation with Carlos, but also because you were about to reunite with the other drivers who were once your childhood friends.

Memories flooded your mind as you thought about the times you spent racing through the streets, laughing and dreaming together.

But now, things were different. Would they still see you as the same person? Would they understand the choices you've made and the struggles you've faced?

These questions swirled in your mind, adding to the already overwhelming weight of the decision you had made in choosing the silver necklace.

Meeting them now, with the weight of your decision hanging over you, felt like a moment of truth - a chance to showcase who you had become and how far you had come.

As the car pulled up to the restaurant, you took a deep breath, clutching the silver necklace for strength, and stepped out into the unknown, ready to face whatever lay ahead.

As you walked into the restaurant with Lando, a staff member guided you to the reserved area where your childhood friends were gathered.

The familiar faces brought a mix of comfort and anticipation, but you couldn't help notice the absence of Carlos, Charles, Oscar and more.

Their absence added an extra layer of uncertainty to the already weighty decision you had made, leaving you wondering how their reactions would shape the conversation to come.

"No way, is that Y/N?" Max yelled as soon as he saw you, being one of your childhood friends.

The excitement in his voice eased some of the tension you were feeling, and you couldn't help but smile, knowing that at least one person was genuinely happy to see you.

Max rushed over to you, his eyes wide with excitement. "Guys, you won't believe who just walked in!" he exclaimed, gesturing towards you.

As the rest of the group turned their heads, Max introduced you one by one, each of them greeting you with warm smiles and expressions of surprise. The atmosphere shifted from uncertainty to familiarity as you engaged in lively conversation, reminiscing about the good old times and catching up on each other's lives.

It was a heartwarming reunion that reaffirmed the deep bond you all shared, reminding you that despite the choices and struggles you had faced, your friendship remained intact.

"Sorry we're late," Charles' voice came through the restaurant and everyone turned around to see them. Their arrival brought a mix of relief and anxiety, as you wondered how they would react to your presence.

As you turned to look at Carlos, your heart skipped a beat. He was wearing a crisp white shirt that accentuated his tan skin, paired with dark jeans and brown leather shoes. His hair was neatly styled, and a silver watch adorned his wrist.

The sight of him brought back a flood of memories, and you couldn't help but notice the slight curve of his lips as he caught your gaze.

It was a bittersweet moment, knowing that his presence could either strengthen the bond you once shared or further complicate the weighty decision you had made.

As you locked eyes with Carlos, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of anticipation and apprehension, unsure of what his reaction would be.

You followed Carlos with your eyes to his seat, which happened to be right in front of you at the table.

As you settled better into your chair, you couldn't help but notice the subtle tension in the air. Carlos glanced at you briefly, his expression unreadable, before turning his attention to the conversation at hand.

The aroma of the freshly cooked dishes filled the air as the waitstaff brought out steaming plates of food, placing them in front of each person. The sight of the delicious spread added to the already palpable tension in the room, as everyone's focus shifted from conversation to the culinary delights before them.

As the group began to dig into their meals, the clinking of cutlery against plates filled the space, momentarily breaking the small silence that had settled over the table.

With each stolen glance from Carlos, you couldn't help but wonder what thoughts were running through his mind. His eyes seemed to hold a mix of curiosity, longing, and perhaps a hint of regret, leaving you even more uncertain about the impact of your presence on this reunion.

You decided to break the tension by joining the conversation with Lando and Max, discussing the latest Formula 1 race and sharing your own insights. As you spoke, you noticed Carlos listening intently, his eyes flickering between you and the other two.

As you engaged in the conversation with Lando and Max, the room seemed to come alive with energy.

The three of you exchanged ideas, shared laughter, and debated passionately about the race. Carlos, though still observing from afar, seemed captivated by your animated discussion, his eyes betraying a mix of admiration and intrigue.

When the last morsel of food was taken away, you finally mustered the courage to break the tension. With a subtle gesture, you motioned for Carlos to follow you away from the table.

He looked momentarily surprised, but nodded in agreement and followed you. As you walked towards a quieter corner of the room, you could feel your heart pounding, unsure of what would transpire in this private conversation.

The moment had come for you to address the unresolved emotions and confront the weighty decision that had brought you both here.

You turned around, and for a brief moment, you were able to admire Carlos. His face, usually stoic and unreadable, now held a hint of vulnerability mixed with determination. His eyes, deep and intense, seemed to search for answers within your gaze.

The way he carried himself spoke of a man accustomed to command and control, yet there was a softness to his demeanor that you had never seen before.

With a deep breath, you began the conversation, ready to confront the emotions and decisions that had brought you both to this pivotal moment.

"First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry for leaving you before without any answers," you started, unable to look into his eyes. "I never meant to hurt you, Carlos. It's just that... I was confused and scared."

"It's okay Cariño, you being here is all that matters to me," Carlos said, his voice filled with sincerity and understanding. "I've missed you so much, and I just want to hear what you have to say."

As you quickly looked up at the nickname he used, the same one that he used to call you before you left, you felt a rush of nostalgia wash over you. It was a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared.

You smiled at his choice of words, realizing that despite the time and distance apart, a part of him still held onto the memories and feelings that had brought you together in the first place.

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts, and began recounting the events that had transpired since the day you left with your parents.

From the sacrifices you made to pursue your dreams of becoming an engineer, to the challenges you faced in your journey, you poured your heart out to Carlos. He listened intently, hanging onto every word, as you shared how your hard work and dedication led you to the opportunity of a lifetime - being hired by McLaren as Lando's engineer.

As you spoke, you could see the admiration in his eyes, mixed with a hint of pride for your achievements. The weight of your decision and the emotions that surrounded it slowly lifted, replaced by a sense of relief and hope for what the future held for both of you.

The more you shared, the more you realized how much you had missed having him by your side.

The conversation flowed effortlessly, as if no time had passed, and it seemed that both of you were willing to confront the emotions and decisions that had brought you to this pivotal moment.

"Wow Y/N, it looks like you've been through a lot," he said after you finished talking. "I can't imagine how challenging it must have been for you."

As he spoke those words, tears welled up in your eyes, catching you by surprise. No one had ever shown such genuine empathy and understanding towards your struggles before.

The tears were a release of all the pent-up emotions you had carried within you for so long, a testament to the profound impact Carlos had on your heart.

In that moment, you realized that you had found someone who truly cared about your happiness and well-being, and it filled you with gratitude and a deep sense of connection.

You were brought into a warm embrace, your face tucked into the crook of his neck. The familiar scent of his cologne enveloped you, and you felt a sense of safety and comfort that you hadn't experienced in years.

As the tears continued to flow, you could feel his steady heartbeat against your cheek, a rhythmic reminder that you were not alone. All the pain, the sacrifices, and the uncertainties faded away, replaced by a profound feeling of being understood and cherished.

After a moment, he finally spoke, his voice filled with a mix of pain and hope. "I've missed you every day since you left," he repeated, his vulnerability echoing in the quiet corner of the room.

You took a deep breath and held onto his embrace a little tighter, feeling the weight of his words. With tears still streaming down your face, you whispered, "I missed you too, Carlos. More than you'll ever know."

In that moment, time seemed to stand still as you both stayed there, wrapped in each other's arms, enjoying the presence and comfort that only each other could provide. The outside world faded away as you reveled in the joy of being reunited and the realization that this was where you were meant to be.

The tears of both pain and happiness continued to flow, but they were now accompanied by a sense of renewed hope and a shared understanding that together, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead.

After you then realized that you had spent more than an hour away from the group, you quickly moved out of the embrace, embarrassed of taking so much of Carlos' time.

"I'm so sorry," you stammered, wiping away the tears. "I didn't mean to keep you for so long. We should probably go back now."

Carlos gently held your hand and smiled, "Don't worry about it. This time with you is more important to me than anything else."

You smiled back at Carlos, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over you. "Thank you for understanding," you said softly. "It means the world to me to have someone like you in my life."

As you and Carlos continued to talk, the conversation flowed effortlessly, filled with laughter, shared memories, and genuine connection. It was as if no time had passed since you last saw each other.

The more you talked, the more you realized how much you had missed his presence in your life. Finally, mustering up the courage, you asked Carlos if you could have his number to stay in touch.

Without any hesitation, he smiled and gladly gave it to you, expressing his own desire to keep the connection alive.

"Should we join the others now?" You asked reluctantly.

"Cariño, I only came here to talk to you. We can do whatever you'd like."

"Even. . ."

That's when you woke up in your bed, the remnants of the dream still clinging to your thoughts. What had happened last night? Was it all just a figment of your imagination?

The emotions and sensations felt so real, but now they have slipped through your fingers like sand.

Even though it felt so real, you couldn't help but question whether it was all just a dream. How could something that intense and meaningful have happened overnight? Was it just your imagination playing tricks on you?

As you lay there in bed, the memories of your encounter with Carlos lingered, leaving you wondering if it was a sign of something more or simply a figment of your subconscious.

You thought of the only thing that could confirm your time with Carlos was real. His number.

You reached over to your nightstand and grabbed your phone, heart pounding with anticipation. Scrolling through your contacts, you found Carlos' name right where you had hoped it would be.

It was a small but undeniable confirmation that your encounter with him had indeed been real, and that the connection you felt was not just a figment of your imagination.

As you stared at Carlos' name on your phone screen, a sense of relief washed over you. It was a joyful realization that you had indeed reconnected with your best friend, and the bond you thought you had lost was now restored.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as you realized that today was the last day in Canada before everyone had to travel to Spain for the next grand prix.

You knew that you had to leave the comfort of this dreamlike encounter with Carlos and return to the reality of your responsibilities in the paddock, helping the McLaren crew.

As you gathered your thoughts and prepared to face the day, you couldn't help but carry the memory of your connection with Carlos with you, finding solace in the fact that even though the dream may have ended, the bond you shared was still intact.

You knew that as the last day in Canada came to an end, all the drivers would be either already at Spain or were getting a plane there now.

Carlos would be among them, and the thought of not seeing him for the next few days filled you with a sense of melancholy.

However, you took comfort in the fact that your encounter had been real and that the bond you shared was still intact, even if you were physically separated for a while.

As you prepared to face the day and fulfill your responsibilities in the paddock, you carried the memory of your connection with Carlos with you, knowing that it would sustain you until you were reunited again.

Putting on your McLaren uniform, you felt a surge of excitement and determination. You climbed into your car and drove off to the paddock, excited to do your job and tried to place Carlos at the back of your mind.

As soon as you arrived at the paddock, you were immediately put to work gathering data for the upcoming race. Your focus shifted from thoughts of Carlos to the tasks at hand, as you meticulously collected and analyzed the necessary information.

The hustle and bustle of the paddock provided a welcome distraction, allowing you to immerse yourself in the fast-paced world of Formula 1 and temporarily forget about the melancholy of being physically separated from Carlos.

Every second counted, and you focused all your energy on fulfilling your responsibilities with precision and efficiency.

The staff relied on your expertise, and you worked tirelessly to ensure that everything was in order for the upcoming race in Spain.

You were responsible for coordinating with the engineers and mechanics to gather and analyze data on the car's performance.

This involved monitoring telemetry, conducting simulations, and making adjustments to optimize the car's setup. You played a crucial role in strategizing race tactics, analyzing competitors' performance, and providing valuable insights to the team.

Your attention to detail and dedication to your responsibilities were vital in ensuring the team's success on race day.

When you were finally able to take a break from your intense work in the paddock, you leaned against a nearby wall, gasping for breath. The physical and mental exertion had taken its toll, leaving you feeling drained and in need of a moment to recuperate.

Slowly, you closed your eyes and let the sounds of the bustling paddock fade into the background, allowing yourself a brief moment of respite before diving back into the fast-paced world of Formula 1.

Suddenly, something cold touched your face and you jumped at the feeling, opening your eyes to see what it was. To your surprise, Carlos stood before you, grinning mischievously as he held a can of ice-cold soda.

"I thought you could use a refreshing break," he said, his eyes sparkling with warmth and affection.

"Carlos? Aren't you supposed to be in Spain?" you asked as you took the soda from his hands and allowed it to cool your body.

Carlos chuckled and leaned in closer, his eyes locked with yours. "I wanted to see you before I leave," he whispered, his voice filled with warmth and affection.

You froze, his words sinking in. What did Carlos mean by "I wanted to see you"? Was he hinting at something? Your mind raced with possibilities, unsure of how to interpret his words.

The uncertainty gnawed at you, leaving you with a mix of excitement and apprehension.

You took a moment to collect your thoughts, trying to hide your own feelings of confusion and excitement. "It's great to see you, Carlos," you replied, your voice betraying a hint of curiosity. "But why did you want to see me before you leave? Is there something you wanted to talk about?"

As he tucked a hair strand behind your ear, his hand lingered, conveying a tenderness that left you breathless. "Because I want to see you every day," he whispered softly, his eyes searching yours. "I don't know what it is, but I missed you even though I saw you yesterday."

A shiver went down your back as Carlos's words sank in, and a smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

You were filled with happiness and relief that there were no paparazzi lurking nearby, ready to capture this moment between the two of you and twist it into a scandalous rumor. It was a precious moment, meant to be cherished in the privacy of the paddock.

"You must have missed me because it's still a shock that I'm here with you after all these years, right?"

"Nope," he denied, his eyes trained on you. "I miss you because I'm not going to be able to see you every day from today,"

"We still will. We can still talk over the phone when either of us isn't busy,"

"But that's not enough Cariño," Carlos continued, his voice barely above a whisper.

You could feel the heat coming from your cheeks, a rosy blush creeping up as Carlos's words sank in. You weren't used to someone expressing their feelings so openly and directly, and it both thrilled and unnerved you.

It was a vulnerability you hadn't experienced before, but deep down, you couldn't deny the warmth and excitement that filled your heart.

Reality then hit you like a ton of bricks. You were just an engineer of McLaren, while he was a popular F1 driver with a massive fan base and a glamorous lifestyle.

The difference in status and fame between the two of you was undeniable, and it suddenly dawned on you that pursuing a relationship with Carlos would come with its own set of challenges and potential complications.

Despite the warmth and affection in his words, you couldn't ignore the practical obstacles that lay ahead.

"Oh my break is over, Carlos," you quickly said, gently pushing his messy hair out of his eyes before running off. "See you in Spain,"

As you made your way back to work, your mind was filled with conflicting emotions.

On one hand, you couldn't deny the deep connection you felt with Carlos, but on the other hand, the practical obstacles and potential complications of a relationship with him were impossible to ignore.

You knew that maintaining a long-distance relationship would be difficult, especially with both of your busy schedules.

Carlos couldn't help but smirk as he watched you run off, your hair flowing behind you. He watched you intently as you ran over to the other staff, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

He knew that pursuing a relationship with you would be challenging, but he was willing to take on those obstacles.

As he stood there, he made a silent promise to himself that he would do whatever it took to make it work, even if it meant defying the odds and finding a way to bridge the distance between you.

"Cariño, don't worry, I won't let you slip away this time," he muttered to himself, determined to overcome the challenges and bridge the distance between them, no matter what it took. . . .

Sitting alone in your apartment, you couldn't help but feel a sense of regret wash over you. You wished you hadn't run away from Carlos earlier, and now you were anxiously counting down the days until your flight to Spain.

As you looked out the window, you couldn't help but wonder if you were making the right decision. Would the challenges and complications be worth it in the end?

Only time would tell, but for now, all you could do was wait and hope for the best.

You then looked at the McLaren uniform that was on your bed and remembered that you were basically enemies, working in different teams.

The competitive nature of your respective careers added another layer of complexity to the already challenging situation. It seemed like fate was playing a cruel joke on you, intertwining your lives in a way that presented both opportunity and conflict.

Would you be able to navigate the delicate balance between love and rivalry, or would it ultimately tear you apart?

As you arrived in Spain, you couldn't wait to go to your room and finally get some much-needed rest. The long flight had left you exhausted, both physically and mentally. You hoped that a good night's sleep would help clear your mind and bring some clarity to the complex situation you found yourself in.

As you opened the door to your room, a sense of tranquility washed over you. The soft, muted colors of the walls and the gentle glow of the bedside lamp created a soothing atmosphere.

Your eyes were drawn to the large window, through which the warm Spanish sunlight streamed in, casting a golden hue on the room. The curtains gently swayed in the breeze, inviting you to relax and unwind.

You took a moment to appreciate the simple yet elegant decor of the room. The comfortable bed, adorned with crisp white linens and plump pillows, beckoned you to sink into its embrace.

A small desk tucked away in the corner provided a cozy space for you to work or reflect, while a plush armchair in the opposite corner offered a spot for quiet contemplation.

The room emanated a sense of serenity and possibility, providing the perfect backdrop for you to gather your thoughts and make sense of the intricate web of emotions that entangled your heart.

You immediately jumped into the bed and fell into a deep sleep, the exhaustion finally catching up with you. As you drifted off, your mind was filled with dreams and fragments of the tumultuous journey that had brought you here.

In that moment, the complexities of love and rivalry faded away, and you found solace in the peaceful embrace of sleep, hoping that clarity would come with the dawn.

"So how did you sleep for your first coming with McLaren?" Sarah, a staff asked you as you walked through the new paddock of Spain.

You smiled and replied, "I had the most restful sleep in a long time. The tranquility of the room and the gentle breeze made all the difference."

Sarah then proceeded to outline your tasks for the upcoming month as an engineer. She emphasized the importance of fine-tuning the car's aerodynamics and optimizing its performance to ensure that Lando would have every advantage on the track.

She emphasized the need to carefully analyze data from previous races, identify areas for improvement, and collaborate with the rest of the team to implement changes. She expressed confidence in your abilities and reiterated the team's goal of securing a podium finish once again.

With renewed determination, you eagerly embraced the challenges ahead, ready to contribute your expertise and help propel McLaren to further success.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment as you settled into the small open office to analyze the data. At first, the solitude seemed like a blessing, allowing you to focus without distractions.

But as the clock struck midnight and you found yourself the only one there, the isolation became suffocating. The hum of the air conditioning seemed louder, the darkness more oppressive, and the weight of responsibility heavier than ever.

As the days went by and the drivers finally arrived at the paddock, you devised a plan to avoid Carlos. You strategically planned your tasks and schedule, making sure to coordinate with Sarah to ensure minimal overlap with Carlos's presence.

You focused on maximizing your productivity during the times when he would be occupied with his own responsibilities, effectively minimizing any potential encounters and maintaining a professional atmosphere within the team.

"You should take a break," someone whispered behind your back. Startled, you jumped at the voice and turned to see Carlos standing there with a concerned expression.

"Carlos! How did you get here?" You yelled, looking around for any cameras that could capture the both of you.

"I came to see you, I told you that I miss you when you're not around," Carlos said effortlessly as if it didn't just give you a heart attack.

Your cheeks flushed at his words, and you found yourself becoming shy under his gaze. The way he effortlessly expressed his feelings made your heart race, despite your best efforts to maintain a professional atmosphere.

You couldn't help but wonder if there was a way to balance your personal connection with Carlos while also prioritizing your responsibilities to the team.

As you stammered a response, your mind raced, trying to make sense of the situation.

Did Carlos really miss you? Or was he just playing with your emotions?

You couldn't deny the flutter of hope that rose within you, but you also knew that getting involved with a teammate of an enemy could jeopardize your professional relationship and the harmony within the team.

You then heard footsteps approaching the office, and the voices became louder, causing you to freeze in your spot.

With a sinking feeling in your stomach, you realized that the rest of the team was heading towards the office. The last thing you needed was for them to discover your moment with Carlos and potentially create tensions within the team.

In a panic, you quickly grabbed his arm and dragged him into one of the smaller rooms before locking the door behind you.

In the confined space, your heart raced even faster, unsure of what to say or do next.

The room was dimly lit, and as you stood there, heart pounding, you couldn't help but feel a mix of apprehension. You knew that this impulsive decision could have consequences.

"Carlos, you can't just come in here whenever you feel like it," you tried to emphasise it to him but none of your words passed through his head.

As you looked into Carlos' eyes, you noticed a flicker of sadness mixed with longing. It was as if he was transported back to the time when you were together, before circumstances tore you apart.

"I know I can't just show up like this," he finally whispered, his voice filled with regret. "But seeing you again, after all this time... I couldn't resist. You still look as beautiful as the day you left."

You were left speechless, the weight of his words hanging in the air. Memories of your past together flooded your mind, causing a mix of emotions to swirl within you.

Part of you wanted to give in to the undeniable chemistry between you, but another part knew that the stakes were too high. You had worked so hard to establish a harmonious dynamic within the team, and getting involved with Carlos could jeopardize everything you had built.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered the strength to respond, "Carlos, we can't go back to how things were. We both have responsibilities to the team, and getting involved again would only create chaos. We need to focus on our work and maintain professionalism."

"Cariño, I don't care about work, I care about you," Carlos replied as if it was the simplest thing in the world. His words hung in the air, tempting you to abandon reason and give in to your desires.

But you knew deep down that prioritizing your personal relationship over the team's dynamics would be a dangerous path to tread.

Gathering your thoughts, you looked into Carlos' eyes and said firmly, "I understand your feelings, but we need to consider the consequences. Our focus should be on maintaining professionalism and preserving the team's harmony."

"We wouldn't have this problem if you would work for Ferrari and be my engineer," Carlos muttered, slowly coming closer to you.

"Well it can't helped," You replied.

Carlos frowned. "So if you got a chance to go to Ferrari, would you take it?"

You paused for a moment, feeling torn between your commitment to the team and the allure of an opportunity with a prestigious racing team.

Finally, you looked at Carlos and said, "Yes, I would take it. But right now, our priority should be on the team and maintaining professionalism."

Carlos smirked and walked over to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of determination and longing. Your back was against the door as he slowly placed his hand over your head, trapping you in his gaze.

The intensity of the moment was palpable, and a part of you yearned to surrender to the passion that still lingered between you.

As his lips brushed against your ear, he whispered, "I hope you stick to that, cariño," before pushing the door open and leaving you in a daze.

A mix of emotions swirled within you, but deep down, you knew that prioritizing the team's dynamics and professionalism was the right choice.

You took a moment to collect yourself before diving back into your work, determined to maintain the harmony and focus of the team.

'Don't focus too much on work - CS' said a note was on your desk with your favourite coffee beside it.

You smiled at the note, trying to remember when Carlos had placed it on your desk. As you took a sip of your favorite coffee, the taste brought back memories of the times Carlos had surprised you with little gestures of affection when you were young.

"Geez Carlos, you're making me lose my mind," you muttered to yourself as you couldn't concentrate anymore with him running in your mind. . . .

During qualifying races, you found yourself spending a significant amount of time with Carlos.

While he had always been present nowadays, there was something different about his demeanor during these specific events.

You noticed him making an effort to avoid being spotted by the paparazzi and the public eye when he was with you especially after giving you a fright last time.

One morning, as you two sat alone in the grandstand, Carlos turned to you with a mischievous grin on his face. "I can't help it if the paparazzi keep catching glimpses of us together," he said, his voice filled with a hint of flirtation. "It's just the nature of the sport."

You blushed, feeling a flutter in your stomach. "I understand why you have to be careful but you don't have to make it a thing to see me every day," you replied, looking away to hide your embarrassment.

"But I must admit, it's a little frustrating not being able to be fully ourselves."

Carlos leaned closer to you, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can't deny that," he said, his eyes locked on yours. "It's a struggle, but I manage it for you."

Before you had the chance to respond, the sound of Carlos' phone echoed through the stands. Carlos' face lit up with excitement as he jumped up to his feet. "I have to go but I will see you tomorrow." His voice was tinged with a hint of regret.

You watched as Carlos sprinted off to where his sleek red car would be racing around the Spanish track. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment as he disappeared into the distance.

Despite his efforts to keep the paparazzi at bay, you couldn't help but feel a sense of longing.

Throughout the day, you couldn't help but think about your conversation and the enigmatic racing driver that had made such a lasting impression on you. His charm, confidence, and undeniable charisma had left you wanting more.

Only time will tell, but for now, the memory of our conversation and the thought of Carlos racing around the track lingered in your mind, fueling a flame that refused to die. . . .

You and a Mercedes staff were having a casual conversation in the break room, reminiscing about the days of your careers as engineers. As you shared your experiences and exchanged stories, you couldn't help but notice a certain tension between the staff and yourself.

Although you didn't realize it at first, the staff's behavior seemed to hint that he was being flirty. However, you decided to brush it off and maintain a professional tone, focusing on having a friendly conversation with him.

"So what about your dating life?" the staff asked, his voice full of lust.

"Yeah... so how does being George's engineer feel like? It must be a lot of pressure?" You avoided the question, changing the question for the sake of your patience with the man.

"Yes, it gives me a lot of stress but do you know what would take the stress off?" the staff said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You,"

"Oh, that's flattering," you said, slightly irritated by his persistence. "But I'm not really interested in that right now."

"Oh come on," the man insisted, coming closer to you.

"I'm sorry but I'm really not interested," You said, trying to get the message through the staff's thick skull.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room shifted. The staff's demeanor became stiff, and he averted his eyes, seemingly distracted by something behind you. Confused, you turned to the staff, questioning him but he didn't answer you.

You turned your head to find Carlos Sainz glaring at the staff angrily. The staff excused himself abruptly, leaving us alone.

"What was that all about?" You asked Carlos, turning around to face him.

"Who was he?" Carlos quickly asked, staring at the back of the man's head as he was still walking away from both of you. His eyes only returned to you when the staff wasn't in sight anymore. His eyes were now filled with happiness but jealousy.

"He's just a staff member," you answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Why do you let him talk to you in public but not to me?" Carlos asked, now sulky. You sighed.

"Carlos, you are a Formula 1 driver while he's just a staff member. You'll be hated by the public or questioned by your team. I don't want to jeopardize your career or mine." You explained.

"You know that I don't care about jeopardizing my career if I get to see you," Carlos said without any hesitation.

"Carlos! You can't say that," You said, surprised by his statement.

"I just don't want to lose you again," Carlos whispered. His eyes were on the ground as he didn't want to hear you hear him say it.

Your eyes softened at his words, and you reached out to gently touch his arm. "Carlos, that's not going to happen again, I promise," you said sincerely. "We've both grown since our past, and I'm committed to making this work. But we need to be careful and considerate of the circumstances."

Carlos nodded, a mix of emotions playing across his face. "I understand," he replied quietly. "I just... I can't help but worry."

As you sensed Carlos' vulnerability, you slowly brought him into a hug, not caring about getting caught or the potential consequences. His arms instinctively wrapped around your back, while your hands found their place around Carlos' neck.

"You said the same thing all those years ago, that you would never leave me," he muttered into your shoulder.

"Well I was a child then, now I'm an adult," you reassured him. "I can make my own decision now so my decision is to stay by your side for as long as you will have me,"

"Then I will have you forever cariño,"

"Good because I'm not leaving," you stated and you could feel Carlos smiling against your shoulder, making you grin at your achievement.

Carlos then pulled back to look at you with eyes filled with love, causing your heart to skip a beat. Was this the feeling of love that you were experiencing? Was this the love you had been longing for? Were those butterflies in your stomach a sign of something deeper?

The rhetorical questions swirled in your mind, but one thing was certain - in that moment, you knew that you never wanted to let him go. . . .

"Alright, Lando, the final qualifying race is about to start. I've done the final checks on your car, so you're all set to go out there and give it your best."

"Thanks Y/N! You're the best!" Lando said, giving you a fistbump before entering the racing car.

As the race began, you kept your eyes fixed on Lando, watching his every move. But you couldn't help but glance over at Carlos' progress as well.

As the race progressed, Lando showcased his exceptional driving skills, maneuvering through the twists and turns with precision and speed. He maintained a strong position throughout the race, overtaking opponents and defending his place fiercely.

The intense competition on the track fueled his determination, and he pushed the limits of his car to extract every ounce of performance.

To your delight, Lando secured pole position, but your heart sank as you saw Carlos finish in 17th place.

You watched on the screen as Carlos stormed out of his car and quickly made his way to the Ferrari garage, his frustration evident.

After congratulating Lando on his impressive performance, you turned to him and said, "Lando, I'm worried about Carlos. Could you help me get over to the Ferrari garage without drawing too much attention?"

"Of course, anything for my favourite engineer," Lando agreed without hesitation.

Together, you and Lando made your way to the Ferrari garage, strategically navigating through the bustling paddock. Lando, being the quick-witted and charismatic driver that he is, effortlessly made excuses to pass through the crowd without drawing too much attention.

You knew Carlos well enough to sense that something was truly bothering him, and you were determined to find out what it was and offer your support.

When the coast was clear, you knocked on the door to Carlos' drivers' room, but there was no answer.

"Carlos, it's me," you called out loud enough for him to hear you if he was inside the room.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Carlos ushered you inside. His eyes were filled with a mix of disappointment and anger.

He quickly closed the door behind you before going back to sitting down on his couch, his face in his hands to hide his disappointment from you.

You cautiously approached Carlos, taking a seat beside him on the couch. The room fell into a heavy silence as you waited for him to gather his thoughts.

Finally, he looked up at you, his voice filled with frustration as he confessed, "I can't believe I let my team down like this. I had high expectations for this race, and I feel like I've disappointed everyone."

"You didn't disappoint me," you said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Racing is unpredictable, Carlos. You gave it your all out there, and that's what matters. We win some, we lose some, but what's important is how we bounce back from it."

Carlos looked at you, and with a hint of a smile, he replied, "Thanks for saying that. It means a lot coming from you."

Getting a closer look at him, the dark circles were more visible to you now. It was clear that Carlos had been under a lot of stress lately. You realized that you hadn't been seeing him as often as usual, only exchanging quick greetings here and there.

It was time to dig deeper and find out how he had been truly doing.

"Carlos, how has your sleep been?" you asked, concerned about his well-being.

Carlos hesitated for a moment before replying, "Oh, you know, just the usual. A few restless nights here and there, but nothing too serious."

However, you could tell from the weariness in his eyes that he was not being completely honest with you.

You then patted your lap and Carlos looked bewildered by your action. "Put your head here, just like when we were young," you said, trying to lighten the mood. Carlos hesitated for a moment before finally resting his head on your lap.

The familiar comfort seemed to wash over him as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to finally release the weight of his disappointment and frustration.

As you gently stroked his hair, you whispered, "You don't have to carry this burden alone. Let me help you, like we used to help each other."

Carlos sighed in relief at your head massage, his tense muscles gradually relaxing under your soothing touch. "You're right," he murmured, his voice filled with vulnerability. "I've been struggling to handle everything on my own. It's been overwhelming."

You nodded understandingly, your fingers continuing their gentle rhythm in his hair. "You don't have to face it alone, Carlos," you reassured him. "We're in this together, just like we've always been. You can lean on me whenever you need to."

"I'm going to be late for the media if I fall asleep," he mumbled but he didn't budge like his body was fighting for sleep but his mind was fighting for being awake.

As Carlos' body relaxed against your lap, you could see the toll that sleep deprivation had taken on him. His eyes kept drooping, fighting the urge to close, but eventually, his body succumbed to exhaustion.

You gently covered him with a blanket and whispered, "Rest now, Carlos. I'll make sure you won't be late for the media. Your well-being is more important."

Carlos's resistance faded as he succumbed to sleep, finding solace in your presence and the promise of support.

As Carlos drifted off to sleep, you noticed the deep lines etched on his forehead, evidence of the stress he had been carrying. His shoulders slumped forward, burdened by the weight of his fatigue. Even in his sleep, he seemed restless, his body twitching with the remnants of anxiety.

Carlos's body seemed to sag against your lap, as if all his energy had been drained from him, leaving behind only weariness and the need for rest.

Carlos' face was incredibly expressive, even as he slept soundly. You continued to gently stroke his soft hair, mesmerised by the subtle shifts in his features - the occasional twitch of his brow, the slight curl of his lips.

It was a captivating display, and you found yourself endlessly entertained by the nuances of his sleeping countenance.

You didn't know that one hour had flown by until you heard a loud knock on the door. You froze, hoping that it wasn't some Ferrari staff looking for Carlos until you heard Charles' voice behind the door.

"Carlos! The media want to take your interview now. You can't stay here forever." Charles said while opening the door.

Charles' face was filled with worry and fear before he saw the two of you on the sofa. His face immediately changed to a relieved look as he looked at the sleeping figure of Carlos on your lap.

"Oh hi Y/N, how long has he been like this?" Charles now whispered as he closed the door behind him.

You looked at the clock, shocked at the time. "Around an hour or more."

"You've been like that for one hour." Charles repeated in shock.

"He was tired. What else was I supposed to do?" You whispered after feeling him stir into your lap, your hand returning back to his messy hair.

Charles sighed after he noticed how your eyes softened when you looked at Carlos and he knew it was over for you.

"Just tell him that the media are waiting for him now," he said gently before leaving the room.

Slowly, you roused Carlos from his slumber, watching as the grogginess gradually overtook him. A faint smile crept across your face as you observed the dishevelled state of his usually neatly styled hair, now tousled and unkempt, a testament to the deep sleep from which he was emerging.

The light came from the ceiling, casting a warm glow on his face, highlighting the drowsiness in his eyes. He blinked repeatedly, his movements sluggish and disoriented, a stark contrast to his typically alert and composed demeanour.

You couldn't help but let out a gentle giggle at the endearing sight of this usually put-together man, now rumpled and disoriented, his messy hair a playful reflection of his current state of mind.

“What happened?” Carlos muttered, slowly sitting up to face you.

“You still have media to do,” You reminded him, standing up to stretch from the sitting position you were in for an hour.

Carlos sighed at your words, rubbing the back of his neck. "I completely forgot about the media," he admitted with a hint of frustration. "I guess I needed that nap more than I thought.

"Thanks for being here for me, Y/N."

"It's no problem Carlos, oh wait, let me..." you started but your voice went in vain after you looked at Carlos.

His shirt was wrinkled, and there was a faint crease on his cheek from where it had been pressed against your lap. Nevertheless, he still managed to look effortlessly charming, his tousled hair adding a touch of disheveled appeal to his already handsome features.

"Let me fix your hair," you muttered, stepping closer to him and gently running your fingers through his tousled locks. Carlos smiled gratefully, his eyes sparkling with appreciation as he allowed you to tend to his messy hair, cherishing the intimate moment between the two of you.

"Thank you, Cariño," he said, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. "I don't know what I would do without you. You always know how to bring me back to reality and take care of me."

You smiled softly, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "It's my pleasure, Carlos. Taking care of you is something I love to do."

"There, now you're ready," you said with a playful smile, gently patting his cheeks to remove any lingering traces of sleep. Carlos chuckled, his eyes brightening as he looked at you.

"Thanks, love. I feel much better now," he replied, his gratefulness evident in his voice.

As he started to walk to the door, he stopped in his tracks and turned around to you. "Will you be here when I come back?"

You looked at Carlos with a soft smile, your heart fluttering at the hope in his eyes.

"Carlos, McLaren will get worried about where I am," you replied, your voice filled with regret at the change on Carlos' face. "I'll check on you later okay?"

He nodded before leaving the room, but you couldn't help feeling a twinge of disappointment. As much as you wanted to stay by his side, duty called, and you knew you had to prioritize your responsibilities.

"Off to go celebrate Lando's pole," you muttered to yourself as you left the room, a mixture of excitement and disappointment swirling within you. You knew that supporting Carlos meant sometimes sacrificing your own desires, but it didn't make the longing to be by his side any less intense. . . .

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╚═ * . · : · . ✧ ✦ ✧ . · : · . * ═╝

As you prepared for your dinner with Carlos, you carefully selected a glamorous outfit that exuded elegance and style. The dress in question was a captivating red number that perfectly complemented your complexion. With its intricate woven design, cowl neck, and lace-up back, it exuded captivating allure.

The Shape Red Woven Cowl Neck Lace Back Mini Dress was a short, figure-hugging dress that accentuated your curves. The vibrant red color added a touch of vibrancy to your overall look, while the woven pattern gave it a unique texture. The cowl neck oozed sophistication, while the lace-up back added a touch of playfulness.

As you adorned yourself with various accessories, you carefully placed a delicate gold necklace around your neck. However, it didn't quite sit right, and you found yourself struggling to achieve the desired look.

Just as you were about to give up, there was a knock on the door. It was 7 PM, and to your surprise, it was Carlos standing in the doorway, holding a bouquet of vibrant red, black and white flowers. His smile lit up his face, and your heart raced with anticipation.

He then looked shocked as he took in your outfit. His eyes widened, and his mouth formed a silent "wow" as he admired the captivating red dress that perfectly hugged your curves.

The intricate woven design, cowl neck, and lace-up back emphasised your elegance and style, leaving Carlos momentarily speechless.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of insecurity, wondering if you had made a fashion blunder.

"Is it bad? I can change it if you want to," you ranted, scared of Carlos' expressions.

"Wow," Carlos finally managed to say out loud, his voice filled with surprise. "You look absolutely stunning in that dress. I never would have imagined you could look even more beautiful than you already do."

You blushed at his words, feeling a mix of relief and delight. The insecurity that had crept in earlier began to fade away as you realised that Carlos genuinely appreciated your efforts and found you stunning in the dress.

His sincere compliment filled you with confidence, and you couldn't help but smile back at him, grateful for his presence and the way he made you feel.

"Thank you Carlos, you can come in," you said shyly, letting him walk into your apartment.

As you walked back to your dresser, you picked up the necklace and walked over to Carlos. "Can you help me with this?"

With his cold hands gently touching your skin, you inadvertently shivered, feeling a surge of goosebumps. Despite his gentle touch, they managed to give you an unexpected thrill. As you turned around, our eyes locked, and a surge of warmth washed over you.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure cariño,"

In a car adorned with luxurious leather seats, you two drove to your dinner date. The fancy restaurant Carlos had taken you to was the epitome of elegance and exclusivity. However, as you two entered, you couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. The glamorous ambiance and foreign faces made you feel like an outsider, despite the glamorous attire you wore.

Carlos, ever the gentleman, pulled out your chair for you, ensuring you were comfortably seated before sitting opposite you. The anticipation in the air was palpable, as you two exchanged fleeting glances, waiting for the right moment to break the silence.

As we settled into our seats, we began to engage in conversation, discussing anything and everything.

"So, how do you like the restaurant?" Carlos asked, breaking the silence with a charming smile.

You took a moment to observe the elegant surroundings before responding, "It's certainly impressive, but I can't help feeling a bit out of place."

Carlos squeezed your hand reassuringly and replied, "Don't worry, my love. You belong here just as much as anyone else. Besides, I brought you here because I wanted to spoil you and show you how special you are to me."

His words melted away your unease, and a sense of gratitude washed over you. As you continued your conversation, you couldn't help but feel lucky to have Carlos by your side, making you feel like the most important person in the room.

After indulging in a delicious meal, our conversation continued in comfortable silence. The soft ambiance of the restaurant and the lingering warmth of Carlos's presence created a peaceful atmosphere.

As you two savored the last bites of dessert, you couldn't help but reflect on how lucky you were to have found someone like Carlos, someone who made you feel cherished and valued with every word and gesture.

"So do you still feel bad about yesterday's race?"

"Not anymore, not after you are right in front of me," he replied, grinning at your shy reaction.

"Carlos, you have to be focused for the grand prix tomorrow," you said, trying to steer the conversation back to the upcoming race.

"Yeah, I am focused," he replied, his gaze still fixed on you.

Despite his flirty demeanor, you couldn't help but feel a shyness creep over you, making it difficult to concentrate on anything other than his captivating presence.

Carlos' magnetic charm emanated from his piercing blue eyes, which seemed to hold a universe of depth and mystery. The way his dark, tousled hair fell effortlessly across his forehead only added to his ruggedly handsome appearance.

With a fit and athletic physique that hinted at his prowess on the racetrack, Carlos exuded an undeniable allure that made it impossible to look away.

The evening was coming to a close when we were caught by something unexpected.

The paparazzi had gathered outside the restaurant, snapping pictures of us. Their presence brought a sudden realisation to both of us. In that moment, we realised that our evening had been captured, immortalised for the world to see.

The potential consequences of the paparazzi's photos being made public loomed over you both. The invasion of privacy could subject you to scrutiny, judgment, and even hate from the public.

The intimate moments shared between you and Carlos, which were meant to be cherished and kept private, could be distorted and sensationalized, leaving you vulnerable to the harsh realities of fame and public opinion.

Carlos immediately took your hand and led you to the back of the restaurant where a staff member was waiting with his car ready to go. In a swift and coordinated move, he opened the car door for you and helped you inside, shielding you from the prying eyes of the paparazzi.

As the car pulled away, you felt a mix of relief and gratitude for Carlos's quick thinking and protective nature.

Carlos whispered, "Don't worry, I'll make sure your face will not be seen by the public."

You reply with a grateful smile, feeling a sense of comfort in Carlos's reassurance. "Thank you, Carlos," you say softly, appreciating his efforts to protect your privacy amidst the chaos of the paparazzi.

"Anything for you Cariño," He said with a grin on his face, taking a look at you before looking back at the road. "So which house are we going to? Yours or mine?"

"I think it's best if I go home and get a good night's rest for tomorrow," you stated, feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks.

"Sure Cariño," he replied with a gentle nod, his eyes flickering with a mix of concern and longing.

Inside the car, a comfortable silence enveloped you both, punctuated only by the soft hum of the engine. As the city lights blurred past, a sense of intimacy filled the air, as if the world outside ceased to exist, leaving only the two of you and the promise of a new day ahead.

When you arrived at your apartment, Carlos was about to turn to leave after saying goodbye, but you quickly grabbed his hand to stop him. "Carlos," you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of uncertainty and longing.

He turned to look at you, his eyes searching yours for a moment before a smile tugged at his lips. "Yes?" he replied, his voice gentle.

"Stay," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "At least stay with me for a while since our dinner was cut short."

Carlos's smile widened, and he squeezed your hand reassuringly. "I would love nothing more," he said softly, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "I'll stay with you as long as you need me, Cariño."

As you both entered your apartment, you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation and nervousness. The atmosphere was charged with unspoken feelings, and you wondered if this was the beginning of something more than just friendship.

Closing the door behind you, you turned to face Carlos, your heart pounding in your chest.

"I've enjoyed our time together tonight," you said, your voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and hope.

Carlos's eyes softened as he looked at you, his body language reflecting a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently brush against your cheek.

Your breath hitched at his touch, your heart racing in response. The air crackled with tension, both of you feeling the electricity between you, unsure of what would happen next.

"I don't want to rush things, but can I kiss you?" he whispered, his voice filled with longing and desire. The question hung in the air, intensifying the tension between you.

"Okay, but remember you have an important event tomorrow-" you warned. Your voice tinged with concern. However, Carlos hardly let you finish your sentence.

With a surge of desire and longing, he closed the distance between you and kissed you passionately, his lips capturing yours in a moment of undeniable connection. In that electric embrace, the worries about the future faded away.

As his lips melded with yours, a rush of warmth spread through your body, igniting every nerve ending. Time seemed to stand still as the world around you faded into insignificance, leaving only the intoxicating taste of his lips and the intensity of the moment.

The kiss held an undeniable spark, a perfect harmony of desire and affection that left you breathless and craving more.

Your hands instinctively found their way to the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, while his hands tightened their grip around your waist, pulling you closer. In that moment, the world disappeared, and it was just the two of you, lost in the intoxicating rhythm of the kiss, savoring the electrifying connection between your bodies.

When you finally broke apart to catch your breath, you couldn't help but smile. The taste of his lips still lingered on yours, and the intensity of the moment hung in the air.

As you moved back slightly, you couldn't help but notice a faint trail of saliva connecting your mouths, reminding you of the raw passion that had consumed you both.

The anticipation and desire that had built up before the kiss only intensified in its aftermath. Both of you were left wanting more, your hearts yearning for the next encounter, as the taste of his lips and the lingering connection between your bodies filled your thoughts and fueled your desire.

"Do you still want me to stop?" Carlos teased, reminding you of your words before.

But as you looked into his eyes, filled with equal parts mischief and desire, you couldn't help but shake your head and pull him closer, surrendering to the undeniable electricity between you.

"We can't do anything that will weaken you and your legs before your grand prix tomorrow. Just kiss for now," you muttered reluctantly.

With a mischievous grin, Carlos whispered, "You better come to my driver's room after my home win then." The anticipation of what may happen next filled the air, fueling your desire for him even more.

"Of course," you replied with a mischievous smile. "But only if you promise to make it worth the wait."

Carlos chuckled. His eyes lit up with anticipation. "I'll make it a race you'll never forget," he whispered, before capturing your lips once again in a passionate kiss, leaving you both eagerly counting down the hours until his victory. . . .

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As you sat on your break, scrolling through the Twitter posts about you and Carlos from the previous day, a rush of excitement and anticipation filled you.

You couldn't help but smile as you read the comments and speculations from fans and followers. They were intrigued by the mysterious person who had captured Carlos's attention, wondering who you were and what your connection to him might be.

Although most of the pictures didn't fully reveal your face, they were captivated by the chemistry and passion that radiated from the moments captured.

The passionate kiss you shared replayed in your mind, making it difficult to focus on anything else.

The passionate kiss with Carlos had ignited a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions within you. It was as if a flame had been sparked, intensifying your desire for him and leaving you eagerly anticipating the next encounter.

The memories replayed in your mind, making it impossible to think of anything else but the electrifying connection you shared.

"Are you ready to celebrate with me after I win?" someone whispered, a hand sliding onto your waist. You turned to see Carlos, his eyes shining with excitement and anticipation, and couldn't help but feel your desire for him grow even stronger.

"Carlos, shouldn't you be talking to your team before the race?" you asked, turning around to face him.

But his gaze was unwavering, and with a confident smile, he replied, "I've already done everything I need to do. I just needed to talk to my good luck charm and my future engineer."

"Carlos-"

"Remember our promise? You said that you would work for Ferrari if I won this race?"

You sighed. "Why don't you win the race before we discuss that?" you said, trying to hide the nervous flutter in your stomach.

Deep down, you knew that if Carlos won, everything would change between you, and the thought both thrilled and terrified you.

The mischievous glint in Carlos's eyes only grew stronger as he leaned in closer, whispering, "Oh, I will win. And when I do, you better be ready to fulfill that promise."

With a mixture of excitement and apprehension, you leaned in closer to Carlos, playfully brushing your lips against his ear as you whispered, "Oh, I'll be ready, Carlos."

Carlos couldn't resist the playful challenge in your voice, and as he grinned, he pulled you even closer, his lips meeting yours in a passionate and electrifying kiss. Time seemed to stand still as the world around you faded away, leaving only the intense connection between the two of you.

"Good luck," you muttered as you broke away to the sound of the speakers announcing the start of the race.

The anticipation and excitement in the air were palpable as Carlos gave you one last lingering look before heading towards his team, leaving you with a mix of hope and uncertainty for what the future held.

"So you're cheering for the enemy now?" a voice said behind you, and you turned around to see Lando, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Well, I always knew you had a thing for bad boys," he teased, causing you to playfully roll your eyes.

"I wouldn't call it cheering for the enemy," you replied, returning his smirk. "Just enjoying the thrill of competition. Besides, a little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone."

"Just remember that you're my engineer, at least for now from what I heard."

"Lando-" you tried to explain but he stopped you.

"I understand, I can't stand in the way of true love," Lando said with a bittersweet smile. "But it's not like we're going to lose contact again, right? We'll still be friends, even if things change between you and Carlos."

You smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on his arm. "Of course not, Lando. We may be on different teams, but our friendship goes beyond the track. We'll always stay in touch."

Lando nodded, his smile widening. "That's what I like to hear. No matter what happens on the racetrack, our friendship will remain strong. And who knows, maybe one day we'll even end up as drivers and engineers again."

As the speaker asked again for the drivers to get ready, Lando rushed over to get ready for the race. His excitement was palpable. Meanwhile, you focused on your role as his engineer, meticulously checking the data and making last-minute adjustments to ensure that Lando had the best possible performance.

The countdown had begun, and the adrenaline surged through your veins as you prepared for the start of the race. . . .

The roar of the engines filled the air as the cars lined up on the starting grid, their sleek bodies glistening under the bright lights. The anticipation was electric, with the crowd holding their breath in anticipation of the exhilarating race that was about to unfold.

As the signal for the start of the race was given, the cars shot forward, their tires screeching against the asphalt, and the drivers expertly maneuvered through the first turns, jostling for position.

Each lap brought new challenges and heart-stopping moments, as the drivers pushed themselves and their machines to the limit, battling for victory.

The atmosphere was intoxicating, a heady mix of adrenaline, strategy, and sheer determination, as the race unfolded with breathtaking speed and precision.

The roar of the engines filled the air as the cars lined up on the starting grid, their sleek bodies glistening under the bright lights. The anticipation was electric, with the crowd holding their breath in anticipation of the exhilarating race that was about to unfold.

As the signal for the start of the race was given, the cars shot forward, their tires screeching against the asphalt, and the drivers expertly maneuvered through the first turns, jostling for position.

Each lap brought new challenges and heart-stopping moments, as the drivers pushed themselves and their machines to the limit, battling for victory. The atmosphere was intoxicating, a heady mix of adrenaline, strategy, and sheer determination, as the race unfolded with breathtaking speed and precision.

In the end, Carlos proved his skill and expertise, crossing the finish line first with a triumphant roar from the crowd. Lando, though disappointed not to take the top spot, showcased his talent by securing a solid second place, earning him well-deserved recognition and applause from the spectators.

Despite the competitive nature of the race, the friendship between Lando and Carlos remained strong, with both drivers acknowledging each other's abilities and celebrating their shared passion for the sport.

You were filled with a sense of pride as you watched Lando secure a solid second place, but deep down, you couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness for Carlos. Seeing him cross the finish line first, his skill and expertise on full display, was a moment of pure joy.

You knew that this victory meant so much to him, and you couldn't help but celebrate alongside him, grateful for the camaraderie and shared passion that united everyone in the thrilling world of racing.

The crowd erupted into a frenzy of cheers and applause as Carlos crossed the finish line, their jubilation echoing throughout the stadium. Flags waved, horns blared, and spectators jumped up and down in excitement, caught up in the exhilarating moment of victory.

The atmosphere was electric, filled with a mix of admiration, awe, and sheer joy for Carlos's well-deserved triumph.

As you looked around, you realized that you were surrounded by fans of Lando's team, who were understandably disappointed by his second-place finish. Feeling slightly awkward, you tried to contain your excitement and join in the applause for Lando's impressive performance.

But deep down, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret that you couldn't fully express your joy for Carlos's victory among like-minded supporters.

You stayed with the McLaren team throughout the podium celebration, witnessing the bittersweet mix of emotions among the fans.

Some were still caught up in their disappointment for Lando, while others couldn't help but applaud Carlos's remarkable achievement.

As Carlos stood on the first-place podium, his eyes scanned the crowd, searching for you. When his gaze finally met yours, a wide smile spread across his face, and he raised his trophy in triumph.

In that moment, you knew that your support and shared joy meant everything to him, and you felt a deep sense of pride and happiness for being there to witness his victory.

Throughout the celebration, Carlos had been winking at you whenever he had the chance, a secret gesture that only the two of you understood.

As you locked eyes with him during the podium celebration, he winked at you once again, a silent reminder of the special connection you shared and the unspoken bond between you. In that moment, the world around you faded away, and it was just the two of you, celebrating his victory together.

You couldn't help but blush as Carlos's wink hinted at the private celebration that awaited you in his driver's room.

The teasing and flirty gesture only added to the excitement and anticipation that filled the air, making you eagerly anticipate the intimate moments you would share after the public festivities were over. . . .

You quickly changed out of your McLaren staff clothes into some casual attire, ensuring that you wouldn't draw any unnecessary attention as you made your way into the Ferrari garage.

With the ID that Carlos had obtained for you, you confidently walked past security and into the inner sanctum of the team.

As you entered, the atmosphere shifted, and you could feel the excitement building as you prepared to celebrate Carlos's victory in a more private setting.

The Ferrari garage exuded an air of opulence and exclusivity, with sleek Italian design elements, polished surfaces, and dimmed lighting that added a touch of mystery.

The atmosphere was filled with the intoxicating scent of leather and the faint sound of engines purring in the distance, creating a sensory experience that heightened the anticipation of the private celebration that lay ahead.

When you made it to Carlos's driver's room, you knocked on his door and immediately the door opened, revealing Carlos standing there with a wide grin on his face. He pulled you into a tight embrace, whispering how grateful he was that you were there to share this moment with him.

As you looked into each other's eyes, you knew that this victory was not just his, but yours as well, and you couldn't wait to celebrate together in the privacy of his sanctuary.

With a mischievous smile, he whispered in your ear, "I've been waiting for this moment all day." As you melted into his arms, you knew that the private celebration you had been eagerly anticipating was about to begin.

"I'm so proud of you," you whispered, your voice filled with genuine admiration and love. Carlos's eyes sparkled with joy as he pulled you even closer, cherishing the words that meant so much to him.

You felt a surge of heat course through your body as he pulled you into a tight embrace. His arms wrapped around your waist, and his body pressed against yours. You could feel the warmth of his breath on your neck as he leaned in close.

"You look beautiful," he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. 'I'm so glad you're here."

You reached up and ran your fingers through his soft, dark hair. "I couldn't miss this, "You whispered. "Congratulations, Carlos. You were incredible."

"Thank you, mi amor," he said. "I couldn't have done it without you."

With that, he leaned down and kissed you. His lips were soft and warm, and I could taste the champagne on his tongue. I felt a surge of desire wash over me as he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the contours of my mouth.

"Can I touch you?" Carlos whispered, staring from your lips to your body, his eyes filled with a mix of longing and anticipation.

You nodded, unable to resist the magnetic pull between you, as his hands gently traced the curves of your body, igniting a fire within you that only he could quench.

He tastes of mint and victory, and you feel the hard muscles of his chest against your breasts as he pulls you tight against him. Your hands explore his strong back, feeling the power in his body, the sinewy strength that has just won him the race.

Pulling away slightly, Carlos nips at your lower lip, his eyes burning with a hunger that matches your own. "I need you," he growls, his breath hot against your ear. "Right now."

You whimper at his words, all shyness forgotten in the face of your overwhelming desire. "Yes," you plead, arching your back, offering yourself to him. "Please, Carlos."

His response is to lift you up and sit you on the nearby table, his hands gripping your thighs as he pushes your legs apart. You can feel the hard length of his cock pressing against your core, and you grind your hips down, wanting to feel him inside you.

With one hand, he reaches between your legs, his fingers stroking your wet pussy through your pants. You gasp at the contact, your head falling back as he teases your clit with his skilled fingers.

"So wet for me already," he groans, dipping his head to suck at the sensitive skin of your neck.

"Please," you beg, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. "I need you now."

Carlos chuckles, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine, and then he pushes your pants down for them to fall on the ground, his fingers finding your aching cunt.

With one sharp thrust, he pushes a finger inside you, and you cry out, your hips buckling at the sudden pleasure.

"That's it, baby," he whispers, adding another finger, stretching and filling you. "Take it. Take all of me."

You can't form words, your mouth open in a soundless cry as he fingers your pussy, his thumb rubbing your swollen clit in circles. Your juices coat his hand, and he adds a third finger, scissoring you, stretching you deliciously.

As you hover on the edge of an orgasm, Carlos pulls his fingers out, leaving you whimpering and desperate. Before you can protest, he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and lines up his thick cock with your waiting hole.

With one swift thrust, he sinks deep into your wet cunt, burying himself balls-deep.

"Fuck!" you cry out. You claw at his back, your legs tightening around his waist, pulling him closer, needing him deeper.

Carlos begins to move, his hips snapping as he pulls almost all the way out before slamming back into you. The table shakes with the force of his thrusts, and you meet him thrust for thrust, your bodies moving in perfect rhythm.

"You feel so good," he grunts, his eyes screwed shut as he concentrates on the feeling of your tight pussy gripping his cock. "So fucking tight."

Hearing him talk dirty sends you over the edge, and your orgasm crashes over you, your body shaking uncontrollably as you cry out his name. Carlos doesn't stop, pounding into you as you ride out your climax, your juices coating his shaft.

With a few more hard thrusts, Carlos tenses, a growl tearing from his throat as he spills himself deep inside you, his hot cum filling your hole. He slumps forward, his forehead resting against yours as he catches his breath, his cock still buried deep.

You wrap your arms around him, holding him close, feeling your hearts pounding in unison. "That was..." you start, unable to find the words to describe the intense, passionate sex you just shared.

"Incredible," Carlos finishes for you, kissing you softly. "But I have a feeling this is just the beginning for us."

You catch your breath and look into Carlos' eyes, a satisfied smile playing on your lips. "Incredible doesn't even begin to cover it," you say, your voice filled with a mix of desire and anticipation.

"Wanna do round 2 in your bedroom?" you smirked, your eyes glinting with mischief as you playfully suggested taking the passionate encounter to the next level.

Carlos grinned back at you, his fingers tracing gentle circles on your skin. "I thought you'd never ask," he replied, his voice filled with anticipation and desire. . . .

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,702,847 others.

yourusername: Life has a beautiful way of surprising us. Carlos and I met when we were just kids, and we instantly became the best of friends. Unfortunately, circumstances pulled us apart, and we lost touch for years. But destiny had its plans, and we found each other again. Now, we're not just friends, we're partners, and our bond is stronger than ever. Our journey has been filled with twists and turns, but it's led us to this incredible place. 💖

view comments below

yourusername: ALSO GOOD JOB BABY ON GETTING PODIUM!!

carlossainz55: 🥰🥰

carlossainz55: Mi amor, I thought we agreed not to post that picture of me

yourusername: But baby you looked cute in it! Can I still keep it on??

carlossainz55: of course mi amor, anything for you ❤

*liked by yoursername*

user1: OMG they are so cute!!

charles_leclerc: congratulations on your relationship!

yourusername: OMG Charles Leclerc! Can I have your autograph?? charles_leclerc: sure! I'm sure I will meet you in the paddock to give you one 👍

user2: NOT Y/N BEING A BIGFAN OR CHARLES WHILE DATING CARLOS????

user3: Y/N is actually living the dream 🥹

landonorris: Great podium mate 👊

carlossainz55: Thanks mate, got the love of my life and a home win in the same day. Best day of my life 🥰

*liked by yoursername*

landonorris: Stole my best friend 😒🙄😮‍💨

yourusername: Lando you know you will always be my number 1 bestie 🫶

landonorris: I GOT MY BESTIE BACK 🥰🫶

carlossainz55: What about me?????

*liked by yoursername*

[sanguinesky-if]

[Dev Log] December 2024

Hello, I apologize for the delay in releasing the dev log.

I'm currently away from home because a couple I'm friends with urgently asked me to pet-sit their animals while they took an unplanned business trip, so I didn't have time to prepare a post in advance.

This dev log includes:

A reminder of the release date for the public update.

An answer to the question of when to expect the next update.

Information about content that will be released this month [in honor of the New Year and the anniversary of the demo release].

A small addition to the "Secondary Rivals" section in the Romance System Overview.

Let's start from the beginning.

[Reminder] Public update release date

The public release of Chapter 3 Pt. 1 is scheduled for December 7.

Thank you for your patience and support!

A small note for my patrons: I really appreciate your help and support, but please note that saves from the Patreon demo will not work on the public release [since the files will be merged, as mentioned in the Patreon demo release post]. However, I will keep a working Patreon demo link for you where your saves will still work until the next update is released. I hope this will be helpful!

When will work begin on the next update [Chapter 3 Pt. 2]?

The work on the outline for the current draft I have for Chapter 3 Pt. 2 will begin after the New Year [a month after the public release, which is scheduled for December 7].

What was accomplished last month?

L's Side Story release.

There were some grammatical errors and a few coding inconsistencies because I used one of the variables incorrectly in the penetration moment ["the MC takes the initiative" scene]. Both issues have been fixed, and I apologize for the inconvenience. To my patrons, thank you so much for your support, patience and for helping with the errors. I'm glad if you enjoyed the story!

Bug fixes in the extended version of the demo.

There weren't many, but I still found a fixed some [mostly grammatical, as usual].

About my plans for the current month.

December 17 will mark the anniversary of the demo's release, and with the New Year approaching, I want to create something special to celebrate both occasions.

Throughout December, I'll be working on a collection of winter/New Year's themed short interactive stories, one for each of the ROs [featuring choices for the MC's name, gender, and one bold/shy flirt option].

Planned release: [Patreon]: end of December / first week of January. [Public]: a week after the release on Patreon.

I've also decided to release one of the stories in December before the full collection comes out.

It means the most-voted story and the most-voted alphabet will be released this month as bonus content on Patreon [I'm still waiting for the poll results since I released the post a little later than planned].

Secondary Rivals [a minor addition].

A small addition has been made to the Romance System Overview in the "Secondary Rivals" section:

Options marked [♡] establish relationship with the secondary rivals and unlock special scenes and narrative changes later on the story.

Thank you for reading to the end and for your support! Have a wonderful week and days after that! ♥

[phantomrose96]

(A Breach of Trust)

[I am putting the rest of the ask under a ReadMore because it IS long [and now super-long with my responses added] but I am biting and chewing this ask I am biting everything it has to say I love this ask I have things to say]

But yes responding to this first chunk! First THANK YOU second I loved writing just the inherent comedy of each chapter being like "[Scene 1] Ritsu spitting blood: I have to save my brother. He's dying. [Scene 2] *Happy domestic montage of Mob petting a kitten and maybe drinking some hot chocolate*" It was a great way to keep some emotional balance in each chapter and also. Funny.

I was crawling the wallllls getting to the makeshift reveal. I think it was about 5 years between coming up with it and getting to the reveal. So I just had to bite my tongue and dodge any suspicion in Makeshift's direction leveraged in the ABoT discord (ABoT discord! BTW! If you want)

I ended up making this to channel the energy somewhere

[Rest of ask under the cut!]

i was nervous for a hot second early on (around when reigen first takes mob in) that it was gonna be the kind of story that would get frustrating because "oh if the characters literally just told each other anything it would all be fine" but i didn't end up feeling that way at all? like yeah a lot of the plot relies on characters not knowing things and technically a lot could have been solved if idk all the characters decided to meet up and sit in a circle to politely explain everything to each other but it never feels like that should happen. even besides them all generally having reasons for lying or not explaining things or not talking to each other it's like. all their decisions feel very natural even when they're bad or unreasonable, and also crucially when the characters do learn things or w/e it usually doesn't fix things (ie when reigen learns mob's real identity and tells mob the truth and it kind of fixes some problems but also adds a host of new ones). in general despite it being a story that hinges on all the characters making bad decisions it rarely gets aggravating bc all the choices they make are understandable and make sense for them -- it doesn't feel like anything is happening simply because the plot demands it. everything is constantly getting worse but that's because the characters are making it worse it's not just Happening. and then the characters have to confront and deal with the consequences of all their actions and learn from them and it's very satisfying

YEAH!!! YEAH YOU GET IT!!!!!!

It is VERY important to me that the story in ABoT is character-driven. There should virtually be no "it happened because the plot demanded it." If it happened, it happened because a character's choice caused it. And if a character made a choice, it was due to their own motivations and not because the plot demanded it.

So, YES, there is this scenario where so much of what is happening comes as the result of each character having, at most, a 20% understanding of what's going on. But the withholding of information, CRITICALLY, cannot be because of Idiot Plot reasons.

Reigen "could" just ring up the Kageyama's and send Mob home, cutting short the first like 2/3 of his and Mob's arc. But he doesn't. And not because he's an idiot. He tried. Mob freaked out. And that was a good enough reason to just delay this until tomorrow, surely. But we watch as Reigen gets to experience was feels like genuine accomplishment, genuine joy, genuine meaning, by helping this kid experience life again. From the very start that's what Reigen wanted--to feel like he mattered. At the beginning this is what drives him to take up the Tetsugami case, despite knowing it can get him killed. (Because maybe Reigen can do something, this time. It's not just another doomed marriage or unsolvable missing person. Maybe he can make a difference. Maybe he can matter.)

And it manifests in what looks like heroics, but in the case with Mob, it drives Reigen to stall... more and more. He knows on some fundamental level it's wrong to be keeping Mob this long, but he can justify it in how this IS what Mob wanted.

And the same extends to the other characters... Tetsuo doesn't tell Reigen about Shigeo Kageyama's link to the Mogami case because he can't bear to admit HE was probably Shigeo's captor. Mob keeps secrets about Mogami because Mob knows he "killed" Reigen's "friend." Ritsu withholds information because it's the only power he has, and giving up information allows other people to stop him. Gimcrack and Slipshod keep quiet about Mob's location because their free lunch would end if they told.

And when these characters make bad decisions instead, it is CRITICALLY important to me that those decisions were the organic result of that character's complexes, goals, misunderstandings, and absent information. It's a train wreck and God Dammit I do everything in my power to ensure each character is their own conductor.

and the Themes. okay first of all i am a huge fan of stories that are like "no, heroic sacrifices are Not the answer, please stay alive so you can actually get better and fix your mistakes and be there for the people you care about", so obviously i adored that. i loved reigen confronting ritsu about this and urging him to stay alive, and i'm also obsessed with how reigen immediately Does Not Take His Own Advice. reigen's self-sacrifice plan makes a lot of sense with his character and given the circumstances it's definitely understandable why he and teru would be willing, however reluctantly, to resort to that, but of course it's not that actual solution because that's the whole point. (shout out to mogami being the one to save him. congrats on accidentally doing one (1) good thing.) reigen, ritsu, mob irt to being imprisoned rather than death -- none of them can just sacrifice themselves and expect that to fix everything and everyone to be fine without them, because that's not how this works. (also i can't wait to see ritsu inevitably be pissed at reigen about him trying to do exactly what he talked ritsu out of and reigen having no excuse except "yes i know, i am a hypocrite, please do as i say not as i do.") the story is dark but it's also so full of hope -- you can live, you can heal, you can move forward from all of this, no matter what you've done or what's happened to you.

YES!!! ANOTHER RESOUNDING YES!!!!

I've talked in the ABoT discord about how Reigen's sacrifice didn't work because it couldn't work. Because, if Reigen intentionally killed himself in order to end Mogami too, and Mob was saved and went home, then that means you DO save what you care about by sacrificing yourself. Which would be fine in other stories, but not this one.

ABoT's message has pretty loudly been "you don't save things by sacrificing yourself. you save them by living long enough to fix what you've broken." And even when Reigen is the one SAYING this to Ritsu... he doesn't believe it for himself. And he does not get to get away with not believing it for himself.

In earlier planning stages of the Reigen sacrifice scene, my plan was to have Reigen's knife slip before he could slice his throat (palms sweaty, grip slipped, parallel to what happened in the struggle-for-the-knife in the original chapter 8 Reigen-vs-Tetsugami scene).

But I thought about that and I said "No, actually." If Reigen fails because his palm slips, that suggests this COULD have succeeded, and Reigen just botched it is all.

So instead, the scorching fire around them (the blaze Reigen set) has dehydrated him to the point that his sweating has stopped. He is salty dusty skin and dry lips and his grip on the knife handle is perfect (anti-parallel to the first struggle for the knife scene). His execution is perfect. Reigen sacrifices himself perfectly.

...And then it's Mogami, who is well-practiced at controlling a maimed possessed body, who snatches back control and cauterizes the wound shut. Mogami (the antagonist of this story) cannot be defeated by self-sacrifice.

There is no "if only Reigen did it right" ambiguity. There is an absolute statement about where the themes stand.

(And yes, I'm sure Ritsu will have only positive emotions about what Reigen tried to do once this is made clear to him. :))

one of the other themes i found most interesting was the theme of lies and people trying to act like something they're not, and how that factors in to all the characters' stories. of course mogami is right there (and the parallels between him and reigen in how they both lie to mob for different reasons are super interesting) but i was particularly thinking a lot about reigen, teru, and ritsu and the different sorts of false lives they live -- reigen the con man playing the part of the confident, powerful psychic, constantly lying about his abilities and his accomplishments; teru keeping up the appearance of being totally in control and untouchable, surrounding himself with friends he can't stand and a girlfriend he doesn't care about; ritsu trying to maintain his reputation as the perfect, model student and constructing increasingly elaborate lies to convince his parents that he's doing fine.

i was thinking especially abt the parallels between reigen and teru -- their identities as liars are both emphasized, literally having teru saying "i was lying. i lied to you. i'm a liar" and reigen saying "i lied to you. i've been lying the whole time. i'm a liar" in the same chapter. both of them have grown accustomed to being alone and having a life that's more an expertly crafted facade than anything with substance, but both find in their respective kageyama brothers someone who they genuinely care about -- and they both doom these relationships from the beginning because they can't let go of the facade they're used to keeping up and their desire to feel important/superior. teru continues to be the same smug, uncaring asshole he's designed himself to be even after he starts to see ritsu as a friend, and because of this ritsu remains antagonistic towards and distrusting of him; reigen pretends to be the "21st century's greatest psychic" with mob even when he's starting to care about mob and want him as a permanent fixture in his life, causing things to fall apart when he reveals the truth. they both say the right things to point mob/ritsu in the right direction, but the way they act does the opposite: teru tells ritsu the dangers of what he's doing and reigen tells mob that they should call his family or the police, but at the end of the day, no matter their good intentions, teru likes feeling superior to ritsu and reigen likes having mob depend on him, and so they're not actually going to do anything that would upset that balance. (and, of course, they reassure themselves with the knowledge that it's not their fault, ritsu and mob just won't listen to them! which isn't technically untrue, but nonetheless frames the situation in a way that ignores their own role in it.)

Aaaaaaaaaaaa honestly I don't even think I have anything to add here because your analysis is already so 🤌🤌🤌. They are Liars they are Liars living through a Mask they are Liars who Say one thing and Do another they are Liars who convince themselves this Lie is fine.

all the characters are so good but my favorite has to be ritsu his whole storyline is fantastic. from the start i was enjoying the fic a lot but it was when it started to really get into ritsu's story and his whole deal that i started being like "oh yeah this is the good shit." seeing him go further and further down his self-destructive spiral, constantly digging himself deeper as he hurts himself and the people around him more and more, is so fascinating and painful. and then seeing him get better and start actually wanting to live as he talks to reigen and later teru! and then in the confrontation with mogami when he decides once and for all that he wants to live and remember and try to find a way to fix his mistakes rather than forgetting them or giving in to them! just. he is thirteen years old and he just has all this rage and grief that he's been holding onto and repressing for so long and he finally gets the chance to do something with it, something he can do to find his brother at the low low price of bleeding himself dry, and so he throws himself into that, tearing himself to pieces and not caring who else gets hurt in the process, until he reaches rock bottom, what should be the point of no return -- but it isn't, because teru saves him, because reigen convinces him to try to stay alive, because mob is waiting for him, because he has people who care about him and he's just a desperate, hurting kid and no matter how badly he's fucked up he can still come back from it. just Such a compelling and painful and beautiful character arc

Thank you for stating exactly the reason I loved writing Ritsu's arc so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺❤️

When I was about 13, I got really into Naruto and I really liked Sasuke's character. Even seeing him now makes some inner part of me point and go "It's Sasuke!" Brooding, stoic, over-achieving, entrenched in family trauma, is swayed over to the darkside because of the rage and grief he's been sitting on.

And because it's Ninja Fantasy World, Sasuke gets to do this and be really cool the whole time.

Ritsu is... actually just a 13-year-old, with psychic powers which he didn't even want after his brother vanished. He IS smart and he IS a model student and he IS powerful but... he's scared. He's scared, and he's 13. He NEEDS to be smarter than everyone (he's not, and he knows this, and it's scary) and more powerful than everyone (he's not, he knows, he's scared), because he knows that anyone with power over him can control him. And he's at his wit's end being controlled.

So he needs to be COMPLETELY in control and have COMPLETE power. And every instance that proves to him he's actually weak, actually clueless, actually being taken advantage of drives him to panic.

And he finds antagonism on all sides... Teru who loves to pick apart and mock Ritsu for every weakness he has. The spirit horde who eat him within an inch of his life. Isa trying to shut him down. His parents trying to control him.

No one is helping him with his grief... No one is finding his brother... No one is saving him... He does not want to keep living like this. And "no longer living" isn't even an option with how heavily his parents rely on him.

So what does he do. He's so alone. He doesn't have a single soul on his side. Every day is torment. ...And then he has this opportunity that shows up like "if you hurt yourself real bad, kill yourself doing it maybe, you can solve the very thing that ruined your life"

So of course he does it. He grabs onto it like a hot stove or a live wire because he's been wanting to hurt himself, and now he can do it in pursuit of the very thing which will save his brother and fix everything. The risk of dying isn't even a risk. It's an escape. He can do this and he can BECOME more powerful and he can GAIN control and he can USE and MANIPULATE whoever he wants (namely the people who've proven again and again they'll hold him down and force obedience out of him).

Of course he spirals. Of course he hurts people...

And then he finds rock-bottom. Teru chews him out and abandons him. Ritsu flips on Gimcrack and exorcises him out of paranoia (Teru turned on him, Gimcrack probably betrayed him too.) He NEARLY kills Reigen under that same absolute fit of paranoia and fear. ...And then he finds his brother. His brother. Alive.

And grabbing his brother shreds his hand. It does not fix him. It does not save him. It maims him.

And now Ritsu is nothing. Not powerful. Not in control. Not certain. He's someone who just hurts people. He's someone who destroys. He drives everyone away and they're RIGHT to leave him because of how horrible he's been. He can't save his brother, and his brother won't save him. ...So Ritsu wanders back to Reigen. The only person who seems to have a semblance of direction in this whole thing. Broken and beaten, Ritsu joins Reigen because he does not know what else to do.

But there is an up from rock-bottom. As much as Reigen and Ritsu are just The Worst to each other, it's actually that childishness in Reigen that starts to work on Ritsu... This is not a typical adult, using adult-speak and adult-authority to make Ritsu comply. Ritsu can't even fall into his typical masked-up behavior against an adult because Reigen is a fucking nuisance and an irritant and Ritsu, for all his "maturity", riles easily.

This is... really just Some Fucking Guy. A loser, at best. But it's someone Ritsu's brother cared about, and who Ritsu knows gave kindness to Mob where Ritsu couldn't. And it's someone who isn't forcing Ritsu to do anything. Reigen is, in fact, letting Ritsu make these decisions to change on his own. Teru comes back with an apology. Ritsu is staring at the chance to do better, and the chance for some future that doesn't involve killing himself.

And he gets to make that decision against Mogami.

And--here's the thing--Mogami was WITH Ritsu for so much of Ritsu's spiral. He knows what sort of kid Ritsu is. So he "knows" Ritsu will accept what Mogami has to offer...

But when "makeshift" vanished was exactly when Mogami got Mob back, aka exactly when Ritsu went to Reigen. Mogami did not get to see Ritsu's healing. So he got to be blindsided by Ritsu's ultimate decision.

and ritsu's dynamic with teru is just. so good i adored every single scene they had together. first of all they are so fucking funny. they're just these two psychic middle schoolers who both suck so bad and just cannot stop trying to murder each other on the soccer field and i love that for them. ritsu's terrible decision-making reaches new heights every day and teru's just standing there watching him and being right about everything in the most annoying way possible. literally the worsties ever <3

I have, consistently, referred to them as "the two worst middle schoolers ever". Like "you're a horde ghost and you're stuck doing the bidding of the two worst middle schoolers ever."

With huge consistency, the scenes I find funniest end up being Ritsu Teru scenes. Because they are, in fact, The Worst.

but more importantly on a serious note i am obsessed with the complicated mess that is their relationship and the way it and the reader's perception of it change as the story goes on. when they first meet things are seemingly pretty straightforward (mostly. i have thoughts which i will talk abt in a second): teru is the one causing the conflict between them by being shitty, and ritsu's just responding to it relatively reasonably. ritsu's the protagonist, the good guy, whereas teru is a morally gray asshole. them working together is a matter of necessity, with ritsu only going along with it because he needs teru's skill and power on his side and teru presumably having his own secret, self-serving motivations. standard stuff; we all know how this goes.

except then the story keeps going, and it gradually becomes apparent that things are far from this simple. it slowly becomes clear that despite teru's arrogance and callousness, he does have ethical standards and lines he won't cross -- whereas ritsu gets more and more unfettered as time goes on. it also gradually becomes obvious that teru does genuinely care about ritsu and see him as a friend (probably the closest thing to a genuine friend teru has), even if teru himself is pretty shitty at being a friend -- leading to the incredibly striking moment when ritsu himself realizes this, and his main takeaway is just that he has power over teru. by the time they have their second soccer field fight, teru has proven himself the more morally upstanding one, which is pretty wild considering the first thing we ever see him do is beat the shit out of a near-defenseless thirteen-year-old for annoying him. of course, he still isn't supposed to be fully in the right -- one thing i really appreciated about the story in general was that the conflicts between characters are rarely as simple as "this character was Right and this one was Wrong," but rather a matter of all the characters making mistakes at one time or another and then having to deal with the consequences and make amends. ritsu and teru's relationship is a prime example of that with how "ritsu made his own decisions and those decisions were Very Bad" and "teru treated ritsu poorly and never actually did the work to make himself someone ritsu could actually trust or would want to listen to" are facts that coexist and both get addressed. the second fight is a masterpiece of a scene in basically every way, but one of my favorite aspects is how teru is desperately trying to reach out to ritsu but is hit with the truth that it's too late for that, that he should have been doing this the whole time, that all this is partially his fault. and in this scene, he fully accepts that, gives in and decides that ritsu is right: it's too late to make amends, it's too late to save ritsu. but it doesn't end there, because this is not a story in which things are simply unfixable, and so instead teru comes back, decides to make the hard choice and try to fix things instead of turning his back on ritsu for good. during the fight, teru says he wants to help ritsu, to sacrifice for him, and ritsu scoffs at him and rejects the idea -- but then teru actually does it. he puts his money where his mouth is and reaches out to ritsu and offers his own psychic energy to save ritsu's life, along with apologizing to him and offering his help to find mob. like i dunno what else to say that's not just summarizing every scene they have together but god i love their dynamic and its arc. i really hope they manage to become actual friends now because god knows they could both use more (read: any) of those. the text exchange they have at the end of the most recent chapter is delightful i love that they bond by insulting reigen i think that's great for them.

Yes yes yes yesssss. It definitely felt like the most ambitious thing early on in ABoT, where I had early-story Ritsu and early-story Teru, and I wanted, somehow, to pull off "they basically swap moral grounds by their second fight."

It's easy enough to just SAY "Ritsu spirals and does progressively worse things. Teru starts to take objection to these more and more until he's the one who thinks this whole thing has gone too far."

And, harkening back to earlier, this kind of plotline has to be deeply rooted in their characters. There is no "Ritsu becomes evil just because" and there is no "Teru becomes good just because."

So they needed to be consistent in their own characters, but evolving under the pressures of the story. Ritsu I talked a lot about early up, how deeply he fears not having control, how much repressed frustration he has over the ways everyone in his life has failed him. And he's never allowed to speak up, or god forbid lash out, because it is his JOB to be the surviving child. Perfect, mature, composed.

Ritsu takes this WILD leap into something insanely dangerous which he has no understanding of, nor power in. Teru IS his first big painful wake-up call with how summarily Teru curbstomps him. Ritsu goes home desperately wanting to quit.

He pushes through it, afraid and knowing he has so little power and control. Then there's Teru, exacerbating this. Because he loves to point out how weak, clueless, and not in control Ritsu is. He jabs and he teases and he chews Ritsu out and he knocks Ritsu down because Teru cannot pass up the chance to prove he's better.

So... of course Ritsu eats up the first opportunity he's given to improve his power over Teru. Gimcrack offers to train him--Gimcrack who's far more supportive of Ritsu than Teru ever is--so of course Ritsu accepts. Every single tick of power in Ritsu's direction is security. And Ritsu is consistently rewarded. He learns to manipulate, and it rewards him with control. He pushes Teru away and it rewards him with independence. He lets the whole horde possess him and it rewards him with power.

And then there's Mezato in all this, threatening to rip away his control. But he can beat that out easily with possession. And if he possesses people, why should he care? Possession feels nice, to him. That's not even a fraction of a fraction of the pain he's been through. He can do this to other people, because possession is POWER.

And, ahhh, possession was such a great thematic vehicle to spin the Ritsu-Teru face-heel-heel-face turn around.

The first cracks we see in Teru's demeanor are all, subtly or not, around possession. When Ritsu almost blasts the possessed woman (Ritsu, panicked, uncertain how to handle things) Teru tackles him and screams at him. (Killing a possessed woman? Teru oh Teru why might that terrify you?)

So Teru DOES have morals. He does have limits. But of course, his first exercise of this is tackling and SCREAMING at Ritsu for fucking up. Just another tick mark in Ritsu's check list of feeling powerless and antagonized.

And the next time, when Ritsu offhandedly mentions he's had his parents possessed for the night while he and Teru were at the meat warehouse... well it's out of focus, since Ritsu is our POV character and he doesn't notice, but Teru freezes. Teru questions this. Teru, instead of letting Gimcrack phase him through the wall (and he was resistant to letting Gimcrack touch him to phase him in in the first place) Teru instead blasts a hole through the warehouse wall.

But... Teru has a plan. When Isa catches Ritsu in the call center, Teru confiscates Ritsu's spirits and (behind his back) blackmails them into never accepting a command from Ritsu to possess someone. (Teru is also a control-freak, and rather than try to talk to Ritsu directly about not possessing people, he just uses manipulation and threats to make it happen).

So now, Teru can relax, surely :). He invites Ritsu along for the movie. He's mocking and insufferable and cruel to Ritsu but, hey :), that's just Teru proving his place in the hierarchy. He... actually does want Ritsu there. He actually does help Ritsu (cauterizes his wound without asking). (It's still power-plays. Still power-plays all the way down which Ritsu hates.)

And Teru... incorrectly... starts to entertain this idea that Ritsu also thinks what they have is friendship. And after the ice cream thing, is when Ritsu leans into Gimcrack's offer to learn how to start being manipulative like Teru is.

So Teru notices NOTHING is wrong for a long time, because now Ritsu is faking it. He doesn't notice until it is much too late. And, frankly, it was ALWAYS too late for Teru to take the moral high road. And some part of Teru realizes this because what he sees in Ritsu, he realizes, is what it looked like to watch Teru from the outside. Teru was ALLOWED to be manipulative and horrible because Teru, himself, always knew he would stop before crossing a real moral line. (Not that Ritsu knew this.) And now he's staring at Ritsu, a true threat who won't listen to reason and who CANNOT reliably be expected to back down before a line is crossed.

And... to THROW this in Teru's face in the FORM of Ritsu letting every spirit from his own horde possess Ritsu during the fight, giving Ritsu the upper hand.

I always knew, for this second fight, the tables would need to be a lot more evenly matched, with Ritsu coming out ahead more often than not. But I also don't like "some character is morally questionable now, and for some reason that's made them stronger than the master character who pulverized them earlier."

But POSSESSION. The motif that all this conflict is hanging upon, used as a boon on Ritsu's side to smash Teru into the ground, to physically and MENTALLY rattle him to the point that he's lagging on Ritsu's attacks and incapable of subduing Ritsu until Teru puts aside his psychic powers all together...

AND JUST... Teru all the while being forced to realize he IS not blameless in this. That every horrible, callous remark he made to Ritsu was not directing Ritsu to the right path or proving himself cool and powerful. They were all instead only cementing Ritsu's hatred of him.

And Teru does not want to accept this at first. He wants to think he did the right thing, ultimately, and it was RITSU who rejected him. And this is where the scene with Slipshod comes into play. Slipshod, who is shown again and again being good at pressing people's buttons. Slipshod is the one bully bigger than Teru in all this, and behind his dumb demeanor is he really really good at knowing how to get a rise out of people. He does it to Reigen while possessing Mezato. He does it to Ritsu while possessing his mother. And he does it to Teru, for fun, because he loves to rub Teru's face in the mess he created.

Which, on the plus side, was the wake up call Teru needed to recognize how consistently horrible HE had been. How much of Ritsu's spiral (and now, imminent death) happened because Teru gleefully pushed him toward it.

Teru's one and only friend.

After Teru swore off friends and loved ones, because they can be used to hurt him.

So it is a big moment, and a big decision Teru makes, when he chooses Ritsu. chooses apologizing. chooses making himself vulnerable (VERY LITERALLY, with how the power transfusion drains Teru to nothing). Teru chooses to care.

And ultimately, it's not even that Teru went from the bad moralless one, to the moral one. He always had these morals. He had these uncrossable lines since day one. But he hid it behind his horrible antagonistic demeanor and the cracks did not come through until he realized he lost control of Ritsu. Teru's ACTUAL heel-face turn comes in him realizing how awful his demeanor was and making amends for that.

i'm actually not done talking about them though because it's finally time for that tangent about teru and ritsu's first fight on the soccer field now because i just reread it while writing that last section and it's so interesting actually. like okay, like i said before it does set teru up as the problem -- in that scene teru is very much the aggressor; he's being a complete asshole for no goddamn reason, with absolutely no compunctions about beating the crap out of some random kid, and ritsu is the scrappy underdog determined to fight back despite not really having the means to. but then there are the moments hinting at more complexity to teru -- him literally stopping the fight to teach ritsu to use his barrier, giving ritsu the makeup after the fight, and of course his decision to spare ritsu in the end. and then on ritsu's side, he almost actually kills teru -- the only reason he doesn't is that teru manages to break free. (awful awful au idea: ritsu actually does kill teru here. would that be fucked up or what) something that stood out to me when rereading it is that despite teru repeatedly saying he'll kill ritsu, and ritsu's internal monologue being very convinced that he's in mortal danger, teru's reaction to ritsu actually almost killing him -- "you really are trying to kill me. we're done", etc -- seems to imply that his threats were more him just talking a big game, expecting ritsu to give in and surrender eventually, and he didn't actually intend to kill him until ritsu gave him an actual reason to. especially interesting to me is the bit where teru asks ritsu if he really meant to kill him, because ritsu's narration and teru's actual actions are kind of at odds -- ritsu tells teru he meant to do it because he thinks him scaring teru is what's making teru hesitate, and that he needs to make teru think he's dangerous in order to get him to leave ritsu alone, but teru's actual response is the opposite, attacking ritsu more fiercely because "there's no reason for [him] to hold back". in general the scene very cleverly sets up the core difference between them: teru is pretty awful but does have firm moral standards, whereas ritsu is desperate and willing to do just about anything if he thinks it's the only option. also the parallels and contrasts with the second soccer field scene are excellent -- the role reversal with the strangling but also how when ritsu does it both the initial act of starting to strangle teru and the fact that he doesn't end up killing teru are both unintentional on ritsu's part, but when teru does it it's a very intentional choice both to do it and to not go through with it; "we're done" said by teru the first time when he's preparing to kill ritsu and then the second time after he's decided not to. have i mentioned that this fic is good because this fic is good. i'm running out of ways to say that

YES!!!!!! ANOTHER RESOUNDING YESYES YES.

I have slightly pre-emptively answered this question by mentioning it above but Teru demonstrates this hypocritical "rules for thee but not for me" because, internally, Teru knows HE will always stop before the line is crossed.

BUT RITSU DOES NOT KNOW THIS. THERE IS NO REASONABLE EXPECTATION FOR RITSU TO KNOW THIS.

So Ritsu, and we the audience, do NOT know this during the first soccer fight. Teru is going to kill Ritsu is a very reasonable conclusion to draw from the way Teru goes all out on Ritsu. Ritsu is terrified. Out of his depth. He's panicking. This kid is going to kill me and he has every reason to believe it.

We don't know, unless (like you) you look at the smaller details, that Teru is not intending to kill Ritsu. He's talking big. He's trying to force submission in Ritsu. He's not trying to kill.

But Ritsu does go for the kill. Because it is the single break he gets and it's perhaps his only chance to survive (he thinks), and he does, IN FACT go for the kill.

Teru breaks free and he does... even give Ritsu the chance to clarify if that was an intended kill-shot. Teru is giving the chance for Ritsu to essentially say "Sorry, accident, don't escalate to trying to kill me." But Ritsu misreads the room, like you point out, and this is when Teru gets serious.

Strangulation, in the first fight and in the last fight. Exactly as you say. Accidental, by Ritsu, the first time, and accidental in letting Teru live. Intentional, by Teru, the second time, and intentional in letting Ritsu live.

"WE'RE DONE" ECHOED. TWICE. In their first fight and their last. With entirely different meanings.

okay those were my big points but i also had a bunch of smaller thoughts so here's just. a list: - i just think it's really funny that teru saves ritsu by punching him in the chest with psychic power on not one but two occasions. literally their dynamic in a nutshell. (also. the way during the time at the mall ritsu responds by being like "did you cauterize me" really gets to me for some reason. he sounds so offended. like you can't just cauterize someone's wound maybe he liked bleeding all over the place you don't know!) (actually wait that thought is also very funny considering what happens with mogami and reigen later. you really can't just cauterize someone's wounds that's very rude. they worked hard to be that grievously injured) - okay so the burger scene. first of all generally a great scene second of all obviously it's a parallel to the scene with mob and the milk (reigen saying "have mine too" and all that) but also i love the parallels to the scene with isa in the coffee shop (also a great scene btw. have i mentioned this fic is good). they're both scenes in which ritsu has a loud emotional breakdown in a public restaurant (love that that happens twice. ritsu honey can you maybe not) with a major focus on ritsu's insistence on letting himself suffer and refusing any kindness he's shown, but they show ritsu at very different points in his story and have very different outcomes -- isa can't manage to get through to ritsu, but reigen can. ritsu refuses the croissant till the end, but he eats the burger. (sorry to add another side note but i love that that was a very serious sentence i just typed about a very emotional character arc.) also the symbolism in the fact that in the coffee shop scene, ritsu's explosion of psychic powers freezes and then spills his hot chocolate, rendering it undrinkable, but then in the burger scene when he blows up the ceiling the dust explicitly doesn't get on the food, so he can still eat it. good shit - i'm trying to avoid going through every single line or joke i liked one by one but i will say. the "this--" "reigen." "reigen" jokes were both incredibly funny on their own but the fact that they're like 30 chapters apart is what really kills me. the dedication. i saw the second one and was thinking "didn't that joke happen before. when was that. wait was that literally all the way back with tetsuo". countless plot events and several irl years may pass but reigen will never catch a break - the "FUCK OFF" tag reigen made being the one that they exorcise mogami with. perfect - love that ritsu is indirectly responsible for teru's girlfriend breaking up with him (good for mei honestly. sure teru wasn't actually cheating but his ass deserved to get dumped) and i like to imagine that teru never lets this fact go. he's not particularly upset about the breakup but he WILL bring up that ritsu ruined his relationship at every possible opportunity purely to annoy him

I THINK YOU MAY PERHAPS BE THE FIRST PERSON TO RECOGNIZE THE DOUBLE-CAUTERIZATION, and the intentional joke in Ritsu, the first time, declaring "Don’t… perform psychic medical procedures on me without my permission, okay?!" Like sorry bud, this is not the last unauthorized psychic medical cauterization Teru's gonna perform on you.

But not every unauthorized medical cauterization can be a win. Turns out when Mogami does it it's kinda mean >:(. But also necessary, for a not-dead Reigen, so actually thanks Mogami.

ABSOLUTELY THE "HAVE MINE TOO" INTENTIONAL PARALLEL BETWEEN THE MILK SCENE AND THE BURGER SCENE. I'm always glad when someone notices the repeat phrasing that ends both those scenes.

And aaghhhhh I could write a whole other essay about the symbolism that food plays with Ritsu's plotline, but in the smallest nutshell how it tends to represent someone reaching out with care and how often Ritsu rejects it. One public restaurant psychic outburst rendered the offered food unconsumable and the other one intentionally points out the way the food (burger) avoided the destruction :')

THANK YOU YES. "This--" "Reigen." "Reigen." as a repeat joke tickles me so much. Just Some Guy energy. Could've played the most pivotal role all night but he'll still end up somewhere next day where someone needs to figure out who he is. Reigen is here too, btw. His name is Reigen, btw.

Fuck Off tag was delightful... It started as an inside joke for a very early comic that @sandflakedraws drew (and then later redrew), of the (chapter 5 or 6) Reigen Tetsugami confrontation. The ineffective tag Reigen sticks to Tetsugami's cheek has, in katakana, "fuck off" written on it. Hilarious enough joke for me, years later, to incorporate it into the story.

Re: the girlfriend thing. I've joked before "if I had a nickel every time evil spirit possession was mistaken for an affair in ABoT I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice." But yeah, Ritsu, you asshole. You cost your bro his girlfriend.

i could just keep going but at this rate i'm going to be going back through the entire fic and just talking about every single scene so i should probably stop before this gets any longer. basically what i wanna say though is that the fic was very good, thank you for writing it, it has given me brainworms. once again i am so sorry for the length of this ask

THANK YOU!!! I think I just spent like 2 hours writing this response because, as you can see, I REALLY LIKE talking about this stuff haha!!

[namelessdumbass]

Rite Here Rite Now

It was amazing and funny. Copia girlies and boys fucking won!

I expected different outcome, tbh. Tobias managed to surprise me and also made me a tiny bit sad (reasons will be explained in the spoilers below).

The film consists of like 95% of concert footage and 5% of off stage/plot stuff. The quality of sound and editing is just 🤌 I expected the live of Twenties to be good and gosh Ghost delivered. And Mummy Dust...Tobias let Mary Goore out! But i honestly prefer Terzo's version (CaD) better. Sorry not sorry haha. Ghouls/Ghoulettes footage. Everyone who loves them will be very veeeery well fed!

Dance Macabre live...i was'nt wrong when i called it a satanic gay party 😁

The movie is worth watching and i do hope Ghost releases it as soon as possible for all those who were not able to go.

The spoiler free review ends here. Don't read further if you don't want to spoil it for yourself. And please, don't copy them and paste it everywhere for the sake of ruining other people's fun! Seriously, don't fucking do that!

If you accidently clicked here, don't worry! spoilers will be below and you still have a chance to avoid them :)

Alriiiiight:

Movie starts with Saltarian who tells fans to record for the first 2 minutes, to show how happy they are etc and posted a qr code for fans to upload those recordings. I guess it will be put up on RHRN website. We'll see. There were also photos of fans who attended LA ritual. I fucking loved the person who showed up in a giant Plushia suit. I LOLed! Then fans were asked to put down the phones and enjoy the movie. The beginning was narrated Star Wars kinda style (a little bit) with the small recap of the chapters and about Copia's worries that he might die. And yes, it literally began in space lol. The movie is basically is like what we saw in small snippets Ghost posted earlier. Plot mixed with a really good show.

And the plot: -Short footage of Copia and Ghouls arriving. ALmost the whole set was the same as any other concert from Re-Imperatour + a few awesome exceptions. -Dews does that annoying thing with guitar, Rain stops him, takes his pick and throws it into the crowd and Dew...he freaking showed him YouSuck sticker on the backside of his guitar. Peak Dew moment! -Copia asked the right question about the Clery. He also does not quite understand what it does, why and where it goes. I suppose Tobias decided to thicken the Ghost lore a bit and will have more clarity in the nearest future. -Remember when Copia jumped at the end of the Watcher in the Sky? He ended up in one of those stage boxes (for equipment or something) and is taken to the stage B. While he's carried to it by Kevin he has a chat with Nihil's ghost. Nihil says he recorded not 2, but 3 songs. That probably means that we'll hear a new one. (UPD: the new song we heard during the credits, "The Future is a Foreign Land" is Nihil's 3rd song! Confirmed by Tobias himself in a new interview). He also tells Copia to breath in deep and then farts. -On the Stage B Copia sings "If You Have Ghosts". 3 Ghoulettes played piano and violins and the 4th one did the haunting ghost-like opera vocals. It was beatiful. Copia kissed her hand. -He then wore boxing robe and went next to crowd. Almost the whole scene was shown in the trailer. -Btw, remember that silly moment when Nihil's eyes were crossing? Well, Kevin was also included in that staring contest. -Twenties live. The skeletons, the performance and one of those skeletons who crawled between Dew's legs...that's hot. -Nihil calls Copia "son". Copia calls Nihil "Dad". Cardi will insult him later, don't worry. -Nihil/Seestor cartoon during MOAC. Yes, that's when Sis hit him with the car. Basically it's what happens after "Kiss the Go Goat" mv. Sister leaves and Nihil runs after her. "I'll never let you go". They end up kissing in a coffin on a graveyard , later Nihil wakes up naked in a bed in a motel and we see Sister leave. -There was a moment in a movie when we see Ashley (stage crew) bring Copia a new pair of shoes and put the on on his feet. Tobias, goddammit what the hell was that? :D -Seestor was a in wheelchair all the time -She and Nihil encouraged Copia throughout the whole movie and gave him a piece of advice. -About the baloon from the poster. Copia flies on it after finishing the set...or he imagined that because a few moments later after Nihil/Seestor flashbacks he ends up on the floor and watches Seestor die. All of the Ghouls and Ghoulettes also stood right next to her. -Copia has a twin brother -Copia didn't die and became the head the Clergy (Father Imperator or something like this). He found out about his new position from a letter Seestor left for him. -New song during credits (credits show dictators, assassinations, wars and the use of nuclear war). Years 1984 and 2024 mentioned. The song is not heavy. -Ghouls/Ghoulettes real names mentioned in the credits -Funny post credit scene with Copia. He had no piant on and had a new cool drip (with black jacket and red and black cross). Seestor is also a Ghost now. Tobia's children cameo. They're also Ghosts. -Papa V is teased the same way Copia was teased in a chapter 1. They even used the same music (Pro Memoria). No face reveal. Either he will be revealed in new Chapters or at some point during the new tour???

-aaaand my biggest disappointment: no footage of Primo, Secondo and Terzo. Literally ZERO.

I mean, Nihil is a Ghost, Seestor also became a Ghost, even Tobias' children made a cameo as Ghosts, but nothing for previous Papas? Really?! The same could have been done for them, but i guess Tobias doesn't care about them anymore :( And it hurts. I know that's my fault that i had so many expectations and hopes, but holy shit :( As a newbie who never saw previous Papas, i'm so sad i'll never get a chance to see them and there won't be any new footage of them. Being Terzo widow is so hard. Guess that's why i'm a bit salty Copia lives (sorry, guys, i like him, but i also hate him haha)

And yes, as it turned out the twins theory from Square Hammer was true...but not for Terzo 😭

I enjoyed the movie nevertheless. It's fun and kinda gives you an opportunity to see the band "live" if you've never been to a ritual before. And yes, the movies was'nt just about Papa IV and his fate, i believe it was also Tobias' message for us to enjoy the life rite here rite now! As i said, Copia's girlies and boys truly fucking won. Congrats, lads, your Papa lives and will live! I bet that feels amazing. Thanks for reading! P.S. since you know the plot, don't spoil it for the others please.

[within-your-eyes-if]

June 1 Update & Testing Begins!

Hello all!

I am sending out links after posting — please check your emails/Discord when you get a chance!

Aside from that, I'm feeling a little nervous but pretty good overall. I'll go over everything once the update is ready to be published.

How long do I plan on testing?: At least a week. I want to give everyone time, but this isn't a new chapter. It may be extended depending on feedback, but I think a week or two is sufficient.

Once testing ends, I'll put on the final touches (if needed) before releasing publicly.

What comes next?: I'm redoing my To-Do list today, but I will share what I have on my test page:

Arcane Sense System with Basic Inventory:

The code is ready and working in a test environment — implementation is planned for Chapter 1 rewrite.

This system will make it so this ability can be tracked and used 'at will' in certain cases — it will be mostly utilized in Ch3 Part Two and going forward.

Armor and Stance System:

The code is ready and working in a test environment — implementation is planned for Chapter 1 rewrite.

This will have greater impact on the fight scenes — it will be a little more "game-like" but not overwhelming or super-complex.

Rewrite Chapter 1:

I want to introduce the MC's abilities better and with more sense. This rewrite would aim to redo the combat areas (again ;-;) but for these new systems. I don't think it will be too bad since the systems are working.

Redoing the Guilt Mechanics:

Since announcing this previously, I've see a few of people mention they enjoy it as it is or find it might not make sense regardless. I'll be contemplating this more along with a 'trust system' that a reader suggested for the time being.

Reworking the Poly Routes:

Changes in tracking have been made. I plan to add new scenes and revise existing ones to improve these relationships. I was hoping to have it in this update, but turned out to be a rather large undertaking so will likely be included in next big update or an update following that.

I’m also working on a few other systems, which I will detail in later updates as they become more fleshed out.

What About Chapter 3 Part Two?

It's still in progress. I'm currently at a part where the MC meets various characters, leading to the dinner with Admos. This may seem straightforward, but with five potential encounters and branching paths, it's quite intricate.

My plan is work on the arcane sense system that will be utilized in this chapter quite a bit so I can get it out sooner than later — I am aiming for this to be the next big update.

Goodness, it feels like a lot — and it probably is. But, we can only move forward! Thank you all for your loving support and incredible patience!

[ridox]

SYLUS ‘WHERE DRAKESHADOWS FALL’ THOUGHTS, THEORIES, TED TALKS —

I need to get these thoughts out of my head because his myth effectively made him my favorite LI and unfortunately there’s no going back from here anymore

Spoilers under the cut!

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN ?! I feel as though I need to just start word vomiting because this was the first time I’ve ever cried over any of the 5-star memories released in this game. 4-stars? Sure. There were a lot from Rafayel that I cried about but not to the extent Where Drakeshadows Fall made me.

BECAUSE YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THE REASON WHY SYLUS HAD SUCH A VISCERAL REACTION TO FINDING OUT MC CAN’T RESONATE WITH HIM ON THE MAIN CHAPTERS IS THE POSSIBILITY OF HER BEING DISGUSTED BY HIM ?!

ONLY TO HIT US WITH THE STORY OF HOW SYLUS FOUND HIMSELF SO MONSTROUS AS A CHILD THAT HE TRIED SHORING OFF HIS HORNS AND SCALES AND HOW NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL IT WAS IT DIDN’T COMPARE TO THE PAIN HE FELT FOR BEING OSTRACIZED AND PUNISHED FOR A SIN HE DIDN’T COMMIT ?! ?! ?!

Am I suppose to feel normal when the realization hit me that after the scene in the church, all the ‘good things’ that came afterward was just a dream? Another state of shared reality between Sylus & MC where they get to live a normal life, building a home out of the very church they both almost died on, decorating it to get a semblance of normalcy amidst society casting them out of its reaches and condemning them to a fate worse than death ?

You mean to tell me the field Sylus took MC on was nothing but a wish almost, to both of them, that after learning MC liked flowers after she spent an entire afternoon gathering enough to make a crown for him, Sylus immediately showed her the field of Datura and convinced her that beauty still exists in this dark cruel world and for him the equivalent of that is her ?!

LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO JUST BE OKAY WITH THE THOUGHT THAT SYLUS SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO UPHOLD HIS END OF THE DEAL WHERE MC GETS TO LIVE YET SHE CURSED HIM TO NEVER SUFFER A TRUE DEATH LEST ITS BECAUSE OF HER OWN TWO HANDS

HOW THE RESONANCE CHAIN LINK ALL ALONG WAS BECAUSE HIS SOUL MERGED WITH HERS AND SHE CARRIES THE BOTH OF THEM INSIDE HER SOUL BONDED TILL THEY MEET AGAIN

No I don’t feel normal, my mind is going 100% an hour and this is the day after I read through his entire myth already

MIND YOU AFTER THIS MYTH I HAVE SEVERAL THEORIES NOW —

1. MC cursing Sylus to essentially live forever, in effect cursed herself to also basically become immortal. Except the curse is only halved on her part because only half of Sylus’ soul lives in her which is why she resurrects with no memory of who she was or what they were in their past lives

2. With that said, the only reason MC is able to get resurrected time and time again is because of this curse that she essentially put on herself. Which leads me to the second theory that perhaps a part of Sylus’ heart lives inside of MC. You know that huge gem on his chest that’s nowhere to be seen during present day ?

Highly theorizing that’s actually a protocore and perchance the same protocore inside MC’s heart

Source: I can feel it in my bones

3. Rafayel knows who Sylus is because Sylus plays a bigger role in the entire story than we thought. As far as we know, Sylus’ myth is the oldest in terms of Philos history. MC’s life may very well have started at this point (or well, until we find out who the other LI is and what role he plays in the story)

Anyway, there’s a couple of instances where Rafayel mentions dreaming of dragons, or having to best an evil dragon, something about towers which was very much so present in the Sylus myth blah blah yada yada

Rafayel knows who Sylus is but has never actually met him before

4. Finally, if MC dies then Sylus dies as well.

THAT’S ALL THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[h4venpha]

hi!… my personal theories on sylus’s myth ending:

ive read over the myth multiple times, and god the wording is so vague. so this is just my theory and future reference for if and when i plan on writing for his myth. mind you, i did get extremely creative when writing this and analyzing his myth. this is just how i like to perceive it to close up loose ends/vague wording within the myth itself. feel free to respond w ur own ideas/comments! :3 MAJOR SPOILERS!!! obviously..

i like to theorize that the moment mc stabbed sylus in the chest in chapter 6, is when their realities begin to shift. especially sylus: he begins to transform and lose his mind.

“The mad dragon spreads his wings and surges forth before crashing to the ground amidst the humans’ screams.” this line in particular is interesting because it seems like he’s so.. out of it already? like his humanity is leaving him, and the dragon inside of him is beginning to take over. his soul is split at this point, i like to see it as his dragon form becoming his physical form, and the “human” part of him becoming his alternate reality soul.

mc’s soul as well begins to split in between realities, but not in the same way as sylus. her soul splits and becomes a physical soul and an alternate reality soul. but its more like full dissociation and less like sylus’s where his humanity full on splits from his dragon biology. NOW FOLLOW ALONG. TRUST.

i theorize that both mc and sylus’s physical forms were captured that night. and when mc find him at the chapel, injured and bleeding out, THOSE are both their alternate souls. they bind alternate reality souls in the chapel:

the souls that bonded together shared an alternate reality. regardless that both of their physical forms were captured, in this shared reality, they were both themselves the way they remembered each other, which is why sylus began to heal and their curse didnt exist in this reality.

this shared reality includes the scene of them putting up decorations in the chapel, abyssal blossom, and the scene of sylus drying mc’s hair (where they pinky promise not to betray each other):

now, chapter 9. going back to their PHYSICAL forms, both mc and sylus are held by the legion. while sylus isnt really there mentally in his physical form, mc can sort of switch to hers. (which means being present in the shared reality is more like her dissociating to cope with everything):

sometime after this (i honestly dont know how long but im gonna guess no more than a week and a half..?): doomsday judgement day comes! mc taken to the court of justitia. mind you, before leaving to go to the court, one of the soldiers tells mc that the dragon has broken free of his restraints.:

in the middle of the sacred judicator enumerating her crimes, mc is unintentionally calling to sylus. and it doesnt matter that he’s not mentally there in his dragon form, their souls are bound, he heard her calling without a doubt.

the moment he begins to stir, it caused a reaction inside of her:

not only does she call him through their souls, but also through their physical forms when she begins to sing the melody for him.

(extra…: what really gets me is how they highlight the fact that, yes sylus isnt there mentallly, and yet even in his beastly, monstrous form, he doesn’t falter even as the legion attacks him to near death. all he was focused on was getting to her merely because she called. he cared for her more than he cared for himself)

in the end when mc finally comes to terms with the fact that she must die by his hand, sylus’s alternate soul shines through; yielding his physical form to hold back, therefore immediately causing her bloodred greatsword to appear. because the curse WILL be fulfilled one way or another, and sylus doesn’t hesitate to let her take his life.

when he dies in her arms in the datura field, they are themselves once more. the curse has been fulfilled, their souls and physical forms are once more again. and he dies, both- everything disintegrating and leaving, except the petal that mc used to curse him.

the final piece of his soul, just a small fragment that she curses. only she can grant him death, meaning unless she allows it, he will never die, which is why horns and wing sprout from her body.

its quite confusing i can say, but i do enjoy getting creative like this esp when sometimes the myth’s wording was vague/things may get lost in translation! anyway this was just my take, id love to see what u guys think bcs i swear im not the only one who was confused!