#also this post has over 300 notes wtf?!

[aleakybiro]

Reblogging for the comment about Zelda choosing hyrule again

Because I hadn't noticed that but yea. It's pretty awesome how despite the fact she'd already done so much for hyrule she still dedicated herself to rebuilding it. When those rigid systems and expectations fell apart the two were left to prove who they really were and they were still just as dedicated, but in their own way.

I am once again unhinged about botw cause of this line, this line

is so important?? And I feel so stupid cause I've seen it 437194 times but only now I've just realised.

Link's story is literally all about taking a different path. He gets the chance at life again, but without people's oppressive expectations of how he should behave, or to be this perfect knight all the time. I loved link's character in botw because the contrast of how he was in the memories vs who he is in the present time makes me so happy. He's much more carefree and happy, willing to joke around, it's like seeing someone grow and heal and it's great.

So link was at last given this chance at a different path, in a world where people saw him as just another traveller. He could act however he wanted, if he wanted to he could've rejected his duty and go on as just an anonymous dude living life.

And yet, he didn't. He was given the chance to choose a different path - no memories of the past, but he chose to be a knight. It shows that some things endured across the 100 years and the amnesia. Even after all he went through, link is still willing to bear responsibility, has a sense of duty to his kingdom, and cares deeply about Zelda. I think that's pretty cool honestly.

[aratinatophat]

They’re brothers and they’re singing shanties :)

[saltyyetbland]

I have just posted my fic that I wrote for the Petals of a Rose fanzine on AO3. You can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57670000

I have a lot of thoughts about this fic, the zine and the qsmp in general so I'm just going to write it all under the Keep Reading line cause this ramble might be as long as my fic lmao.

When I saw that applications were open for this zine, I initially didn't even consider joining. I liked hideduo but I was definitely out of the fandom by then. I haven't even written anything hideduo specific (I only had like 2 QSMP related fics on AO3 and they were more trauma than romance lmao) so in my head I thought that even if I applied, I wouldn't get selected.

And I guess that mentality ironically is what made me decide to impulse apply during my Marketing class at like 8pm.

And somehow I got accepted.

You can imagine my surprise when I get an email with a discord link saying that I got accepted to be apart of this zine. I joined and then I see a bunch of cool artists and writers that I recognize and my brain immediately goes "oh shit, i should not be here wtf" but thankfully I decided to not be impulsive this time and actually stick with this zine.

And then prompt creation starts and then artists and writer match-ups and then it fully dawned on me that art is going to be created out of my fic. And that was such a complex thought to swallow as I struggled with imposter syndrome yet again (it is what it is lol) and just me trying to grapple with the concept of fan creation as a product of inspiration while being a source of inspiration as well (the fan studies/media nerd in me is jumping out).

And then the sketches and conversations from Kye and Bio started and I was just in awe by their skill and effort that it motivated me to try and write better too.

And then after months of me struggling to write the fic, it was done. I had multiple people look over it including my irl writing group as well as a beta reader (shoutout to skelepen) and I then submitted it to the final submission google form.

There is a clear memory I have in which I am simply working and I just check over at the discord and I see a photo in general chat. It is a snippet of my fic and it is Aynee saying that "damn... this fic got hands" and like 4 other comments from other members of the discord basically saying the same thing. When I tell you that this has almost made me cry at work, I'm not joking cause this was the moment when I truly felt like I contributed enough to the zine.

And now the zine is published and it is 500 pages of pure effort and I feel satisfied with myself but I also feel the looming sense of closure that I know stems from the knowledge that this is the end of my qsmp era.

I've been aware of the qsmp since its inception but I only really got into it during the ice prison event where creators like tubbo, mouse and tina joined. And though i only really lurked in this fandom and occasionally posted, i can still see its effects on me today. I have discovered my ever-growing interest of community building in media and cross-cultural communications and translations. I am currently on a 300+ day streak on Duolingo for Portuguese. I was able to revitalize some of my previous knowledge of French and Korean and actually find joy in learning languages, something that I seriously struggled with when I was younger.

And for that, even though my relationship with the QSMP is now a bit more complicated, I am grateful for it opening my eyes and for allowing me to be a part of it, even in my small amount.

All in all, I am proud that this fic has been created. I am proud of this community that I have been apart of. And even though I am closing this era, it won't be on a bittersweet note like my previous fandoms.

So, thank you.

Thanks to Kye and Bio for creating amazing pieces for my fic, skelepen for beta reading my work, Aynee for creating the zine itself, the POAR discord for being such a cool and fun place and to the larger QSMP community as a whole for being a part of my life.

[tllgrrl]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @missamyshay !! Sorry for the delay. Some of these questions were hard to answer, so I ran away, then came back, and ran away, and I apologize for the ramblings.

If anyone has any questions/asks, feel free to…well…ask.

* * * * *

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

70 (Note: Many, of them well under 1K words and one shots. When something starts on Tumblr, it pretty much also goes over to AO3. Even drabbles.)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

163,518

3. What Fandoms do you write for?

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier - Marvel Cinematic Universe

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. One Quarter of a Year, 2. Language Lessons, 3. Welcome Home (the sequel to One Quarter of a Year), 4. A Front Yard Situation, 5. Bucky, Cass, and the King of Mardi Gras

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. I don’t always immediately respond, but I eventually do. Why respond? Because I’m already surprised that anyone reads a thing I wrote. No one is required to leave a comment. They can read and go on to the next, and they do. But if someone reads something I wrote, and wants to tell me that something about it made them want to tell me about it what they liked or what touched them and/or ask a question, or in one case complain about it? It’s an amazing thing to me, so much so that a comment always sends me back to read WTF I could have possibly written that made someone feel this.

6. What is a fic you write with the angstiest ending?

I haven’t written one with an angsty ending. Yet.

7. What’s the fic you write with the happiest ending?

Hmmm…lemme think…

They’re all pretty happy, I think, but the most hopeful, heartfelt ending I think is at the end of Ndinawe when Sarah walks out of the therapist’s office building after her first ever session post-Snap/post-Return, and finds Bucky waiting for her with a little bunch of flowers.

I will leave it to readers to tell me what they think my happiest ending would be.

8. Do you get hate on fics.

There’s that one time someone liked, but complained about 6 words (2 short phrases) in a 300 word ficlet/triple drabble where Sarah and Bucky are in a very quiet and intimate moment, and he says something to her in isiXhosa, which we know he speaks. Then he says it in English, and then in Kreyol, which, in my headcanon, Sarah learned from her parents, who spoke Haitian Creole (Darlene’s family) and Louisiana Creole (Paul’s family). Because Louisiana.

This person was annoyed and couldn’t understand why anything other than English was being spoken even though the translation is in the story and a little Glossary is in the notes..

And when I tried to explain why I chose that and that in canon, Bucky and Sam both speak more than one language, the person commented back that didn’t want to read an explanation…which is why I wrote one anyway.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write erotica. To my mind, smut is different. And I don’t like the word “smut’. Like how some people don’t like the word “moist”.

I write two middle-aged grownup adult people for whom Communication is important. Even if things are difficult or awkward, they still at least try.

Also, they’re perfectly able and willing to grab a Quickie, and I’ve written at least one Quickie, but in my stories so far, like to take their time when they have the opportunity. Someone once described it as making love “like adults: long, slow, luxurious”.

I think that’s the kind I write.

Maybe that didn’t describe the kind of “smut” I write. If anyone can describe it to me, please do!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not yet. But I do have something in mind.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of, but I would actually like to try to do that myself with help from Google Translate, Language Tutorials on YouTube, and the assistance of native speakers.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes!! Bucky, Cass, and the King of Mardi Gras co-written with The @btwxsixesandsevens. The Paul & Darlene Ship Logs is a A Talk Like a Pirate Day day-long speed write, where @btwxsixesandsevens, wrote Bucky’s Journal entries and I wrote Captain Sarah Wilson’s personal ship logs. And also Snitches which was born from a funny “what would happen if” conversation with @shellyac75. I asked if I could embellish it, stretched it out and make a fic, and was given permission to play.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Bucky Barnes & Sarah Wilson (aka SarahBucky or BuckySarah) from the minute Bucky made it a point to let Sarah know that he was there, and he saw her. And she saw him, right back.

That having been said, if I’d known, when I was a kid, that I could make up my own stories about characters I liked, there is one ship that I would have filled my PeeChee notebooks with: Lt. Nyota Uhura & Spock. Yes, long before JJ Abrams made them a thing, I, in my tweeny brain, felt like something was possible there with those two. Nurse Chapel be damned.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have one of those. I have a couple of Finished For Now stories that I have plans to revisit and continue, though. They’re not WIPs though. Plus, I’d never not finish a story.

16. What are your writing strengths.

Beats me. Someone who knows about writing techniques will have to tell me. I have been told that when reading my stories, a reader can see where they are and what’s happening.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I overthink and I think I get in the weeds when I write. I’m hyper critical, so I find fault with everything I write. Someone else will have to tell me what my weaknesses are in my writing. I know what they are in my process.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.

(See #12j I’m not afraid of it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The only fandom I’ve written for: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

That having been said, I may have inadvertently written a drabble/ficlet/thing as an answer to a question that was posed in a Firefly forum on Ravelry (a multi-use community website for knitters and crocheters) probably 20 years ago. People enjoyed it and one commenter said I should write fan fiction, which, at the time, I thought was ridiculous. If I can find it, I may post it on AO3 for shiggles, though the show is long gone. (I know that there are still Browncoats around.)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written.

This is a really hard question because I find fault with every thing I’ve written. Every single thing. And my answer can change sometimes a couple of times during the span of a day!

I’d rather people tell me their favourite, and why, (Soft suggestion: Please feel free!!) but if I had to pick one today right now:

One Quarter of a Year / Welcome Home

I consider these two a single story that has yet to be joined on AO3.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Whew.

I am soft tagging @khululekile , @philtstone , @btwxsixesandsevens , @spinachgarden, @sarifinasnightmare and anyone who wants to jump in and play. Come on in! (If you’ve already been tagged, apologies! )

[lilbit-of-kizzy]

I posted 9,408 times in 2022

300 posts created (3%)

9,108 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@starry--skies

@cosmiccarrotcake

@mexicanesecat

@thepoolofthedead

@bunjywunjy

I tagged 3,054 of my posts in 2022

#iswm spoilers - 49 posts

#🤣 - 39 posts

#🤣🤣 - 38 posts

#yeah - 33 posts

#youtube - 30 posts

#markiplier - 27 posts

#lolol - 27 posts

#lmao - 26 posts

#pokemon - 24 posts

#like - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#btw i’m aware that all of these are just mark in other universes and would also probably just be called mark too lol this was just for fun~

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Just like the chair!

110 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

God Irida is such a mood 😂

151 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

Eric: Have you heard Ariel sing? *dreamy sigh* also my favorite things for today are: Potato, Mashed potatoes, and a stick! *plays flute*

Me:....yeah you're still my favorite

259 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#2

Anyone wanna tell me, why Disney thought it was ok to go The Edge of Sleep levels of dark???

Spoilers below the cut

Minnie spent how long, wandering a colorless, sightless, soundless, empty landscape??? Telling herself over and over again "I have to find Mickey!" until that's literally all she remembered????? Not her name, her very being, or even who Mickey actually was, just literally only the words "I have to find Mickey"

Disney wtf

283 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey YouTube did a stupid!!

Y'all know Ann Reardon? The woman who does all those fantastic debunking videos?

Well she posted a video on the extreme dangers of fractal wood burning (don't effing do it) annnnd YouTube, in their infinite wisdom, took down the video because it "promoted dangerous actions"......hello????

Did they take down other fractal wood burning videos? Nope! Did they wait until she was #3 on the search for it, and had many many comments about how she just saved someone's life or thanking her because the commenter knew someone who had died? Yep!!

So if you wouldn't mind helping to raise this video up the ranks, she explains what happened and how much good the other video did, before basically telling YouTube to suck it (and risking a channel strike) by reinserting the footage telling why that type of wood burning is so dangerous.

I'd post the video in this post, but I'm not sure how views are calculated when watched through Tumblr. And algorithmically it's better if you also could like and comment on the vid (I know it's ridiculous but hey it helps stick it to YouTube's insanity)

Here's the link again!! It's also just really informative and deserves a watch!

Edit: The video is back up!!! Great job everyone 😄😄

Edit the 2nd: I can turn off reblogs on a post that already has reblogs o.O that....will probably be happening tomorrow!! I adore the fact that this blew up because it definitely needed to but my brain and notes are suffering 😅

13,929 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 2

Hello @camsthisky and anyone else who cares! I do apologize for the delay on this post--it has only been 84 years since Part I of my kdrama recs, I know, and I thought about going for a full century but this is me finding a way to de-stress after watching the first episode of I-Land alkdjfadlksj I’m gonna die of heartbreak but whatever

Speaking of heartbreak, there is a lot to be found in Korea’s wonderful historical dramas, so like, be warned—or, if you are an angst-loving monster like me, settle down for hot guys and good cries

Let us begin! (or, if you want romantic modern dramas see Part 1)

1. Scarlet Heart Ryeo/Moonlovers: 

aha ahahahahahaha *weeps* You may have heard people talk about this show. You may have heard ME talk about this show. This thing was my first kdrama ever and it RUINED ME 

Disclaimer: I have seen this show once and rewatched it twice and on the rewatches I can never quite make myself watch the last 4 or 5 episodes because things get tragic and messy and I get mad. HOWEVER there is a lot of good in the first part of the show and because this thing was all the rage in everywhere but Korea itself, there’s like over 300 fanfic for it and several good fix-its, including one by my good friend @thelonelybrilliance

Ok so anyway this show which could also be called An Abundance of Princes starts with a young woman from modern times getting thrown back into ancient Goryeo during an eclipse and finds herself in the body of Hae Soo, the cousin of the wife of one of the princes, and thus she gets embroiled in royal affairs which are, quite frankly, a mess. See, the evil eyeliner prince (whom I love even when he’s the worst) is plotting with his mom to get the Crown Prince out of the way aka dead BUT who should return to the Palace but the 4th Prince, Wang So, who has spent at least half his life living as hostage to a powerful family. 

So has a scar that cuts across his eye and which in this society makes him a horror to look at or smthing idk he just looks extra hot to me but anyway he wears a mask and is known as the wolf dog (or as the MURDER ANGST CUPCAKE thanks @abadpoetwithdreams). He might seem a little rough around the edges at first because his life has been hell but he really just wants to love and be loved okay people need to be nice to him wtf

Other princes include: 

    1.  the Crown Prince, Wang Mu, a good egg, not particularly charismatic but he tried to protect his lil bro when no one else would

    2.  the 8th prince, Wang Wook, who reminds me of a fellow named Shane and I don’t mean the cowboy

    3.  the 10th prince, Wang Eun, a dumb adorable spoiled bby (played by Baekhyun from EXO)

    4.  the 13th prince, Baek Ah, a tol soft boi, an artist, a BAE, a BRO, a SHIPPER ON DECK

    5.  the 14th prince, Wang Jung this son will fight everyone he’ll fight himself he just loves to fight! Not always wise but he’s a good boy and I like him a lot 

    6.  just realized I skipped the 9th prince but nobody cares 

One quick note is that IU plays Hae Soo, and I enjoy her a lot in the first half of the show where she is still spunky and rebellious...sadly her character kind of falls apart/gets too weak for my liking as the episodes progress

The MAIN reason why I feel it my duty to recommend this show to everyone despite the fact I have never met anyone who wasn’t traumatized by it is LEE JOON GI

Yes, this man:

 I mentioned him in the previous rec post—he played Bong Sang Pil in Lawless Lawyer (AND IS NOW CURRENTLY STARRING IN FLOWER OF EVIL WHICH WILL BE ON ANOTHER POST AHDFOIASDHGALDSKJF FRIQ I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN) 

BUT SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIS PHOENIX EYES!!! HIS RAZOR SHARP FEATURES! HIS BIG ADORABLE EARS! HIS BEAUTIFUL EXCESSIVE BANGS! 4TH PRINCE WANG SO LOVE OF MY LIFE

SOMEONE PROTECT THIS BBY

2. Hwarang: Ok so right off the bat I am going to smack down a disclaimer that I can’t stand the female lead. TRULY CANNOT. Thus, I don’t like the romance, and only care about the love triangle as far as it just shows how sad and lonely one of the guys is. (Also there are scenes of dumb old men plotting and I don’t like them either). At the end of the show, I am happy that the one guy is NOT stuck with the female lead as his wife. Good for you sir

Sounds like a show to steer clear of then, right? WRONG. This is a show that you skip through because the scenes that are good? Are GREAT

Picture this: It is the Silla era of Korea, and the queen is ruling as regent in place of her son, who has been hiding all his life because everyone wants to kill him. Well, son is now grown and must soon come into the light and take the throne. Queen who both wants her son as king but also really likes being queen decides to do everyone a favor and form an elite fighting squad out of all the prettiest and most talented sons of nobles in the land, with the idea that they will be loyal only to the throne, and thereby keep their dads from plotting to destroy everything. 

Let me tell you something, these ARE the prettiest boys in the land. Good hair, good jawlines, beautiful smiles—the cast lineup includes Park Hyung Sik and his cute lil elf ear, Park Seo Joon, Taehyung (yes from BTS!), and Choi Minho from Shinee, plus two other actors who are lesser known but who are drop-dead gorgeous. Anyway. Sorry, but they really are all beautiful. 

The fun thing is they don’t all get along right away, a few of them are VERY much opposed to the other for various reasons, but they all have to bond and become brothers in arms. And what they don’t know is that the real king snuck in and is one of them. 10/10 I would die for the boys! (also Tae has an older half-brother who is a lower rank than him but whom he looks up to and that makes for cuteness and pain) Once you skip the boring or annoying parts of the show, the rest has so much delight, laughter, and oops pain, lots of pain. I want to go re-watch. 

Two other things I should mention about the show: a super soft side romance between secondary characters and a game of, as they call it in the show, HOT SOCCER 

^pretty boy 1 (with the cute elf ear sadly on the other side of his head)

^pretty boy 2 (sad cheekbone bby) and pretty boy 3 (happy cheekbone bby)

^pretty boy 4 (the prettiest of them all, and he knows it!)

^pretty boy 5 (aka Taehyung danced around the set of a historical drama and made everyone adopt him as their bby) 

3. Faith/The Great Doctor: This is a longer kdrama at 24 episodes and they didn’t have much of a budget so special effects aren’t the best or anything but I just got really attached to all the characters? This is another modern girl goes back in time but UNLIKE SHR it actually has a happy ending, so if you need a historical drama cleanse after that tearjerker/enrager, this could be it for you

Eun Soo has to navigate the ancient kingdom, keep people believing she is a heavenly doctor with special powers, and keep Choi Young alive so he can fulfill his promise of returning her to her own time. The problem with that is Choi Young does have kind of a death wish because of reasons—

Eun Soo is a plastic surgeon who would really like a rich handsome husband one day but them’s the breaks for you, aka she has had no luck in that department. Back in ancient Korea, Choi Young (played by Lee Minho in sadly the only role I really love him in) is a high-ranking beloved captain who can fall asleep anywhere. Oh he can also make electricity with his hands! :D

The story begins when the sleepy sad captain tries to escort the new king and queen to their palace. This was during the time period when ancient Korea was basically a puppet kingdom/tributary of ancient China (Yuan). The king (who is very smol and lacks confidence, but still has a good heart for his country) lived as a hostage in Yuan for many years, and his wise tol queen is a princess of that land, and someone needs to sit them down and make them talk because they actually love each other a lot. Anyway, when the queen gets injured by assassins, Choi Young goes searching for a legendary doctor, winds up in modern Korea, and steals both Eun Soo and a SWAT shield, because hey, it looked cool I guess

Lots of fun things in the show: Choi Young has a crew of soldiers who are BEYOND loyal to him, and while he doesn’t think much of the king at first because he’s been burned by kings before, they slowly become bros and shippers on deck for each other. Eun Soo does not lose her spunk or loyalty unlike other people I could mention *cough*HaeSoofromScarletHeartRyeo*, and it cracks me up when she curses people out. There are also a bunch of people (mostly bad guys) running around with special powers or gifts, including a flame lady and a flute boy, and the latter wears delightful anime wigs, keeps his sword in his flute, and plays his flute to kill—literally! I love flute boy very much 

sorry it’s black and white but DO YOU SEE THE SWAT SHIELD

4. My Country: A New Age:

ANGST ANGST ANGST PAAAAAIN BUT ALSO BEST INTRO BEST FAVES BEST ACTORS

Picture this: two young men, who both hail from childhoods of trauma, who grew up together and are best friends, and who are tragically forced apart and end up on opposite sides of a conflict that threatens to upend the current rule of the kingdom. This IS the star-crossed brotp you’ve been waiting for!

Seo Hwi is the son of a general who died a criminal, and all he wants is to live simply and earn enough rice take care of his younger sister, who has seizures and a sweet crush on Hwi’s bestie. Hwi is the best softest most loyal boy with a good and true heart, a great deal of courage, and a talent for wielding a sword, and just wait till you see the best one-shot fight scene ever of him in battle, it is INCREDIBLE! (He is played by Yang Se Jong, who I now want to see more of) Hwi has an abundance of charisma points in that he picks up a small band of loyal soldier friends and they become the best little found family, lots of brotp-ness in this crew—do not mess with any of them because they will all FIGHT you

Seon Ho meanwhile is the illegitimate despised son of a powerful nobleman, only tolerated because the legitimate son died. Seon Ho loves his friend and is very protective of his friend’s little sister who crushes on him but his dad is a high class grade A power-hungry jerk and that causes complications of course. Seon Ho also has a good heart, he’s a gentle soul really, but he always gets stuck in bad positions and unfortunately makes a couple of difficult/bad choices so he hardens himself as much as he can but the consequences always kill him and he just wants to save his friends and destroy his dad and the stupid hierarchy that treats bastards as lesser. WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? 

Seon Ho he is played by Woo Do Hwan who has so much talent I die so many times over in this show just because of the way he portrays Seon Ho like that sad sad boy is one of my favorite characters evER! Is he problematic? At times maybe but I am HERE for him he just needs LOVE AND AFFECTION AND AN ABUNDANCE OF GOOD FRIENDS BUT INSTEAD (SOMETIMES THRU HIS OWN FAULT BUT HE ADMITS THAT) HE JUST SUFFERS AND SO I SUFFERRRR

*grabs a towel and dries up my tears*

Hwi also falls in love with a woman named Hui Jae (or was it Hee Jae i can’t remember) and they are very cute together, she’s pretty cool but the show’s one failing is arguably that they kind of underuse her in the plot as the story goes on? But I still like her and she still has a good role, and she is both brave and kind and not afraid to step in or tell people off, also keep a weather eye open for patching up scenes! 

Oh yeah, eVERYONE in this gets hurt/stabbed/shot/bloody, such a shame they have to take their shirts off to clean and bandage the wounds ;)

Last character I must mention is Bang Won, played by Jang Hyuk in his second interpretation of the historical figure. Bang Won is the fifth? son of the guy who becomes emperor/king, and he has his own plans for the country, so when Hwi catches his eye, he recruits him to his cause.  What you need to know about him is that he has issues with his dad, is slightly unhinged, and cannot and should not be parted from the fan that he constantly carries around with him. Gotta say, Jang Hyuk is FANTASTIC (heheheheheheh) in the role, able to convey all kinds of emotion in the rise and fall of his voice, in the tilt of his head, the tears of his eyes, the flick of his fan. Give this actor all the awards! 

To sum up: if you like to cry for days after watching a drama, if you like excellent heart-wrenching brotps, if you like conflicted characters, if you like amazing music and setting and plot, if you like guys with good hair and arm muscles (and 

abs, thank you shirtless scenes what) this show is a Must Watch 

DID I SAY STAR-CROSSED BROTP I MEANT SWORD-CROSSED BROTP ADKJFADLSKJFLKJDFALKDGKLJL </3

~

Ok I was going to leave the historical drama post at this for now but...I’m going to cheat a little and include the one historical C!drama I just finished.Yes folks I am talking about:

5. Nirvana in Fire:

Ok so maybe the switch from kdrama to cdrama makes you uncertain. Maybe the fact that this show has FIFTY-FOUR EPISODES makes you go hell no I don’t have enough time for that. Well if you overlook this show for those reasons, you are making, and I do not exaggerate, the greatest mistake of your show-watching life!

Look, first, this drama has one of the best, most intricate, most satisfying plots in history, with like 20 characters you would die for, and second, the episodes are only about 42 minutes each, which is shorter than most kdrama episodes, so you can deal.

Once upon a time there was a general/family who were just too good to exist in corrupt old China, so naturally they were framed for treason and there was a giant massacre and everybody died, including the eldest prince who was like um dad maybe this is all a horrible mistake and the king was like no u are the mistake. Sad times.

One of the many younger princes named Jing (A NOBLE HEART, if not always the cleverest) returns home from wherever he was, finds out that not only did his prince brother die, but so did his best friend/brother in the whole wide world, Lin Shu, son of the general. Because he insists on the innocence of said bros/family, Jing becomes an outcast prince and is shuffled off to fight in wars where he can’t cause any trouble. Meanwhile, Princess Nihuang, Lin Shu’s brave, awesome, amazing, wise, incredible girlfriend, refuses to marry anyone else, and because she is too cool to be messed with, nobody tries to banish her

Cut to I think eleven years later, when the two most powerful princes are vying to be the crown prince and heir to the throne. They both try to recruit the aid of a renowned clever and sassy strategist named Mei Changsu, to help them with plotting and PR and such.

Well little do they know that Mei Changsu is actually the not-dead Lin Shu, with a completely new face (for reasons), and that Mei Changsu is a chess master setting up a long con for the dual purpose of obtaining revenge/justice for the dead and of raising Prince Jing to the throne, since Prince Jing is the only man with a good enough heart and strong enough will to make China a better place for all the people. But just to make it hard on everybody, Mei Changsu is dead set on not telling anyone who he really is—again, for reasons. He is not always successful in keeping his secret.

I literally don’t know what else to say because there is so MUCH to say, so many characters to love, and I mean LOVE. How do you get a cast this good? How is everyone so different yet so important? How do you feel bad for the emperor even when he’s slimy? How do you have to stop yourself from rooting for the prince who would destroy some of your faves? I can’t praise the charisma and acting talent in this show enough! And the music! IS GORGEOUS!

1 strategist too sassy for his own good and too clever for everyone else’s good + 1 prince who loves his mom and his dead best friend and his dead older brother more than anything else in the world + 1 gentle wise mom + 1 eternally loyal princess who would defend her loved ones with the sword if necessary + 1 sassy Elrond healer man + 1 grumpy sulky baby who loves being a better fighter than almost everyone + 1 loyal to the death, brave badass general who is going to have a stress breakdown if the strategist doesn’t take better care of himself + not 1 but 2 good boys who deserve to be protected but who are willing to throw themselves into battle if necessary + 1 antagonist tiger prince who I love and am not ashamed to say it = THE BEST OF TIMES

^he hardly ever wears his hair down but when he does <33333333

*checks calendar* how soon is too soon rewatch something, asking for a friend

[sorcerorsutrascroll]

the little old lady from Shinano Province

Go granny, go granny, go granny go! To find your long-lost little brother.

But first, some context:

As noted in Byakuren’s UFO profile, her younger brother Myouren was a legendary monk (白蓮の弟、命蓮は伝説の僧侶であった). His legends consist primarily of the three stories depicted in the Shigisan-engi picture scrolls (also found in the Uji Shui Monogatari and the Kohon Setsuwashu).

Shigisan (Mount Shigi) is where Myouren did all his stuff. More specifically, he was at the Chogosonshi Temple, which supposedly got its name after Myouren faith-healed the emperor in one of the three stories. Incidentally, the first story involves a flying storehouse. Sound familiar?

Here’s a good English translation of the Uji Shui Monogatari version. Yes, the flying storehouse is the one in UFO. Yes, Byakuren’s “Flying Bowl”, “Purple Cloud”/”Cloudy Way in Purple”, and “Star Sword Apologetics” spellcards are all further references to the stories. (More on Star Sword in another post.)

And yes, Byakuren is our little old unnamed nun from Shinano. She mentions this to Kanako in SoPM Part 1.

So Byakuren traveled from Shinano to Shigisan. How far is that?

To be fair, medieval Shinano Province covered pretty much all of today’s Nagano Prefecture, but that’s still a minimum of ~300 km using modern routes, and could easily have been 100 km longer a thousand years ago.

Why is this significant? Well, Byakuren’s UFO profile says she didn’t start learning Buddhist magic from Myouren until she was old (白蓮は、年老いてからその弟に法力を学んだ), and didn’t get her physical buffs until after he died. The Uji Shui Monogatari version doesn’t specify how long she waited in Shinano, but the scroll version has the text 廿余年 = over 20 years. So she left Shinano as an old hag with nothing but medieval medical care and the occasional hired hand to protect her on a 400 km journey over unpaved mountainous terrain. A Kanagawa University analysis of the scrolls also says that “her attire can be regarded as very common attire for women unused to long journeys.“

In short, Byakuren was going to either find her brother or quite literally die trying.

She clearly wasn’t afraid of death at this point, so why did she suddenly become terrified of it after her brother passed away?

Perhaps this was the first time she had ever watched a younger family member die? But average early Heian life expectancy was 30 years, and she spent 20 just waiting for Myouren back in their tiny Shinano backwater, so it’s nearly impossible for her to have not already watched younger relatives die.

A better explanation requires us to consider the nature of her relationship with Myouren:

Although Myouren abandoned his sister without a second thought, she kept him in her heart for over 20 years and eventually gambled her life on the insanely unlikely odds of ever finding him again. All she gets for her trouble is “wtf I wasnt expecting you, how’d you even get here,” which you’d think would bother her just a little, but no, her only concern is how cold Myouren must be on the mountain. Here, have the painstakingly handmade fukutai I traveled 400 km to give you!

It’s a classic case of codependency: her brother barely cares about her, but her entire world revolves around him. So when her UFO profile says that the grieving Byakuren became terrified of death, this strikes me as not so much fear of dying as fear of going into an afterlife and/or next life without Myouren. Pure Land Buddhism wasn’t a thing yet so they couldn’t just pray to Amitabha to be reunited in Sukhavati, and it was generally believed that women couldn’t be reborn there anyway. As long as she’s alive, her brother can at least live on in her memories. Does that sound like clinging? Maybe even attachment?

As the Buddha might say, Byakuren’s attachment to her brother is the root of all her suffering.

[username-echo-is-taken]

Roadtrip~CNCO Headcanon

OMG GUYS THERES 300 OF YOU FOLLOWING ME LIKE WTF IM SHOOK!!!! In celebration of that I decided to finally finish a request I received MONTHSSS ago! But I hope you guys enjoy! I LOVE YOU ALL 🥰❤️

Requested: “headcanon about the guys going on a long drive with them being the driver” by @cedanana 3 MONTHS AGO ASLKGSHFL I’M SOOOO SORRY!!! I started working on this forever ago and welp here we are now, and it’s not even good 🙃and it’s not even what you really asked for sorry bby 😔

Warnings: horrible writing skills LMAO

Author’s Note: this is wayyyyy too long to post as one so I’m posting one half today and the other half tomorrow when I finish it! So sorry for the inconvenience!

Zabdiel: Sightseeing as much of Puerto Rico!-several hours and stops

It’s your first time visiting Puerto Rico and Zabdi is sooo excited for his amor to explore his island with him

Neither of you slept much because y’all stayed up late going over your route plan for the 10th time

He wakes up earlier than you to make breakfast

Brings it to you in bed like the gentleman he is...but you’re two bites in when he starts rushing you out of pure excitement lol

You ask him to pick out your outfit bc 1.) he knows the weather and activities so he can dress you appropriately and 2.) you want him to enjoy EVERY little thing about your trip...he thinks this trip is about you but to you it’s all about him, seeing him so happy and excited makes your heart melt UWU BITCH 😭

Your first stop is to get snacks obvio

He takes you to all the cool spots close to his house to get them out of the way *insert small photo shoot*

The next destination is about an hour away so cue the carpool karaoke!!

Of course he’s singing like an angel on Earth and well let’s just say you were not that impressive YIKES

You got videos of both but only the ones of him are posted so you can keep some of your dignity lol

Zabdi being Zabdi, he randomly pulls over to the side of the road, jumps out of the car, picks a pretty flower, and gives it to you, “una belleza pa’ mi bellisima novia”

YOU LOVE THIS MAN™️

Little do you know that he has been taking secret pictures and videos of you to add to the album on his phone so whenever he has to go away on tour he can always have a piece of his amor

By the end of the trip you are completely IN LOVE with the island, appreciating all of its beauty with the love of your life

When you get back, after you’ve had a shower and are in bed you get a notification that Zabdiel De Jesus has uploaded a picture….you look over at him and he has a tiny smirk on his face and he lets out a giggle bc he uploaded the LEAST flattering picture of you from when you caught him taking a picture so you made an ugly face at him

Butttt don’t worry he also posted nice ones bc he’s nice like that

Joel: Disneyland!-Hesperia to Disneyland-under 2 hours depending on traffic

It’s Christmas time and it’s your first year spending it with Joel and his family (ok but who wouldn’t want to spend it with them?! It looks so fun!)

They all find out you’ve never been to Disney and it’s like a bullet to the chest to them LMAO

Soooo Joey has taken it upon himself to take your Disney virginity lol

He likes to be very organized so of course he made a list of which rides y’all are gonna go on and in what order

He makes sure you’re all asleep at a good time bc he knows how you get if you don’t get enough sleep lol

You two wake up a little earlier to help his mom make sandwiches and snacks for the journey

Since there are so many of y’all going you have to take two cars, his mom driving one and him driving the other

He asks everyone for songs to add to the playlist he created and y’all jam tf out

The music is so loud his mom has his little brother call you and tell y’all to TURN THAT SHIT DOWN cause they can hear it from their car OOPS

When you make it there, barely alive bc Joelito decided to get distracted by some freakin birds...yea...birds... you’re a little worried if his plan will work because it’s PACKED, I mean c’mon what did he expect around Christmas

He knows it too and he has a sad little pout on his cute face making you sad too because who wants to see this baby sad???

He just wants this to be the best first experience

What he doesn’t realize is that you could literally just sit in silence with him and you would be over the moon

You spend the day, holding hands, walking around, riding the rides, just having an amazing time

You’re having sooo much fun you don’t even think about getting some pictures together but don’t worry his brothers and cousins have it handled lmao

Your favorite is a video of you and Joel dancing when he twirls you around and pulls you back into his chest for a hug, and you definitely feel like a princess

During the drive back home, everyone in the back seats are asleep and you whisper to Joel how much fun you had and how much you love and appreciate him for everything

Homeboy wants to cry deadass lol

He holds your hand while he drives and every so often he brings it up to his mouth so he can give it a kiss

When you get home he makes you a hot chocolate and you stay up for a while just talking and enjoying each other’s company before snuggling up to go to sleep

Richard: Universal Resort!-Miami to Orlando-3 ½ hours

This papi wants to take his 2 girls out for a fun weekend, and where can you have fun all day without getting tired..? UNIVERSAL!! (not that I would actually know bc i’ve never actually been LMAO)

The 3 of you are beyond excited, although you might be a bit more excited than Aaliyah, but shhh no one has to know

The night before, you sit in Aaliyah’s room, asking her about certain outfits before putting them in her little ‘going-away-bag’, before tucking her into bed, not noticing that Richard has been watching with a smile on his face, until you hear him walking towards his baby girl to kiss her goodnight OOF

Soft Papi Richard makes you swoon™️

You guys then move to your room to pack your stuff

We all know he would take longer to pack his stuff because “this shirt matches these pants, but so does this one...i’ll take both...but what shoes tho?”

Since you’ve been so excited you already mentally planned your outfits lol and maybeee,just maybe, you bought 2 new swimsuits that you know he would drool over

You’re already in bed by the time Rich is finally done, you’re halfway asleep when he gets into bed so he just kisses your forehead and plays with your hair

In the morning, you get up a few minutes earlier than planned so you can make a few sandwiches and a few other snacks, but you already know they’re gonna be gone within the first hour so a pitstop for food is a must lol

CNCO is playing the entire ride because Aaliyah wants to hear Papa sing, but who are you kidding, you want to hear your angel sing too

When you finally get to Universal you quickly get to your room and leave just as fast as you got there lol

Y’all spend the entire first day going on rides and just walking around admiring all the beautiful things

You and Richard are both half asleep on the way back to the room, and Aaliyah is asleep in his arms

The next morning (almost lunch because y’all wore yourselves out lmao) you have brunch in bed and watch a movie for a while before getting ready to go to the pool!

Let’s just say that your man’s jaw drops real quick, and he most def can’t keep his hands off of you

You spend a few hours at the pool, enjoying the water and the sun before heading back to the room to take a nap before dinner

Y’all were going to a somewhat fancier restaurant so you spent a bit more time doing your hair and makeup before putting on a beautiful dress

You then get Aaliyah into her dress and you do her hair all cute and shit while Richard is finishing getting ready

After dinner comes desert obviously so back to the park you go to find some ice cream!

You quickly but thoroughly enjoy it before heading back to the room to change into comfy clothes for the drive back home

[clemencebrothersobsession]

I think this one is my favourite:

Blanc: don't fall in love, mc

MC:

Blanc: hoe don’t do it

Alice: *Falls in love*

Blanc: oh my god

[janiedean]

mzyraj

ha risposto al tuo post

“Do you still ship Throbb?”

... wtf happened and where have I been, I guess not posting in Throbb enough :/

tldr because I’m out of fucks to give: a friend who used to contribute a lot in the last few years (damien/used-to-be robb-greyjoy) didn’t write the ship for a few months bc of taking charity commissions after having taken free prompts for that ship for years and the original prompter almost never replying or telling him they liked it or anything of the kind and suddenly more than one fic shows up where the explicit sexual content part was plagiarized from the friend’s stuff, some were taken down before the friend could notice but one was brought to his attention was obviously all copy-pasted because everyone noticed, this person was told in the comments section to can it and guess what friend in question (before the fic gets inevitably taken down) gets anons saying adorable things like ‘what are you complaining about Person Who Plagiarized Just Made Your Fic Better Than It Already Was’ and that thing was out of this world vile and I honestly still haven’t gotten over how vile it was and that’s half of the problem

ETA: I got permission to say from the interested party that he was really disappointed and hurt that it happened and it’s 90% of the reasons why he’s not on tumblr anymore so I mean... nice times right? ;)

the other half is what I discussed in the lower half of this post and that was honestly what made me go ‘who the fuck is making me churm novels every other month for this fandom when this is the result’ and call me petty but I’m still really fucking disappointed that after that happened, I chimed in and at least two other people chimed in I didn’t even get a PM saying ‘hey I don’t wanna reblog that bc I don’t do discourse but I don’t agree with that person’ but nah, that post still has 300+ notes mostly reblogged or liked from op, so. *shrug* there was also another thing but that was one specific person so it’s not like a fandom-wide problem (but let’s just say that receiving comments on your fics to ask you to talk about Another Fandom Classic Written By Someone Else didn’t help with the general feeling) but yeah tldr I needed a break and I’m still on the break. it’s going to be over at some point but not right now xD

[chelsorz07]

I posted these as asks four years ago and never got to answer any so

THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE SEEING THESE FROM ME, DIDN’T YA? Me too, I’m so sorry

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair.

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? I have like two cups of coffee a month but have only drank booze twice in the past year so coffee I guess.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Many times.

4. Do you plan outfits? Sometimes I’ll want to wear a specific shirt but it’s rarely ever clean and I never pick out clothes sooner than right before my shower.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Tired but I still have to put the garbage out before I can go to bed and my neck and knees are killing me so I can’t get off the couch. But I’m in an okay mood.

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? Throw pillow.

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? Idk I’d like to say I’d be a badass about it but honestly I’d probs scream.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I legit don’t remember. I dream every night but they usually fly right out of my head when I wake up.

9. Three of your current feelings? Tired, hungry, in pain. 

10. What are you craving right now? Cheeseburger and onion rings.

11. Turn ons? Um...intelligence, wit, shoulders, eyes, ginger beards.

12. Turn offs? Arrogance, chauvinism, people who don’t like cats.

13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Coleslaw.

14. When was the last time you cried? Why? I was doing a concert in my living room last night, as I often do, and some of the songs got me a little emosh.

15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be? Black Widow or Loki.

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? No but she did change the way she treated me so I’m taking that for what it is.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I don’t eat ice cream because it hurts my teeth no matter which method of eating I use.

18. Favorite movie ever? Bring it On.

19. Do you like yourself? Depends on the day. Actually it changes even more frequently than that.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity? Many. None will top Jensen Ackles though. Well. Except Misha. Note the double entendre lol

21. Could you handle being in the military? I definitely could not. I’m also too old to enlist even if I wanted to.

22. What are you listening to right now? Walking Dead, season 1 episode 2. Because every time I start the series over, I pick up from episode 3 since I don’t really care about anyone but Daryl until Jesus happens. But today I felt like a refresher from the beginning.

23. How many countries have you visited? I went to Canada once.

24. Are your parents strict? They were while I was being raised. Then my little sister had like no rules.

25. Would you go sky diving? No way.

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Hell yeah.

27. Whats on your mind right now? I’m really just trying to gather the motivation to get up and pee, then take the garbage out so I can go to sleep.

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone? Ehh not really.

29. Have you ever been in a castle? No but I would tour the shit out of some if I had the opportunity.

30. Do you rent movies often? Almost never because who does that anymore? But we did just rent Mile 22 from the Redbox a few weeks ago. It was pretty meh for Wahlberg.

31. Whats your zodiac sign? Leo.

32. When was the last time you had sex? A month ago. Purely by circumstance. My husband is currently on week four of a five week work rotation in Texas.

33. Name five facts about yourself. Lord. I have rapidly deteriorating joints and it fucking hurts everywhere all the time. I’ve spent the past 48 hours going back through my entire tumblr, over 300 pages. I only make homemade mac n cheese, not boxed. I’m almost finished rereading every Desus fic on AO3 for the second time (some more than two but I mean going through literally every page). One of my cats is sitting above my head and purring really loudly and another is sitting to my left snoring.

34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened? Got caught driving in a blizzard. Spun off the road several times, including once off of an on-ramp. Like do not enter, wrong direction. If I hadn’t made it to the hotel right next to the on-ramp I really would’ve been fucked.

35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny? Not really.

36. Brown or white eggs? White.

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? Most of my material possessions are from the hot topical, yes. Clothes, jewelry, funkos, makeup, miscellaneous other merch. It’s like a lot.

38. Ever been on a train? I have not.

39. Ever been in love? I am.

40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it? I hate this question. Of course I want a million dollars. But I’ve always wanted to stay in a haunted house anyway.

41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with? JJ Ackles. Except that I wouldn’t wish my life on her. Can we just be siblings instead?

42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it? I’m already attractive. And my life expectancy isn’t that high as it is.

43. Whom do you admire and why? My husband because he does crazy shit like work 35 days in a row when he’s only supposed to work 14 just to make sure all our bills are paid and we have savings because I’m too crippled to work at all right now.

44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child? I didn’t get bedtime stories.

45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do? I am literally capable of doing nothing, except maybe let her use my phone to call 911 if she hasn’t already.

46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you? No. I can’t even choose my own profession.

47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol? Idk about best but my most recent one was pretty good. I hadn’t had alcohol in over a year but a few weeks ago my sister turned 21 and we had family game night at my parents’ house so I got a little buzzed on some grapefruit White Claws and for about four hours I wasn’t in physical pain. Plus we all had a really good time just hanging out and playing games and everybody got along. That has 100% never happened in my family before. Also the last time I smoked weed, which was MANY years ago, like 6 or 7, it had the same effect and reduced my joint pain.

48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol? Worst with drugs was the night I smoked an entire joint just in my living room alone and it must have been strong shit because I threw up immediately. Worst experience drinking was probably all of 2010.

50. As you’re walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it? Probs I’m desperate and not that great of a person.

51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them? Yes? WTF kind of question is that? It’s 2019, AIDS isn’t cooties.

52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger? Depends what kind of pistol. If it’s a revolver you can see the rounds in the barrel. 

53. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 20.

54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires? Nope. Well I still haven’t ruled out ghosts but I also know how to dispatch them so.

55. If you could live forever, would you want to? HELL naw.

56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are? Janice Ian.

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit? We love a renaissance.

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? Probably.

59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? Not even for like a day.

60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to? Yes. I want a girl. Come for me.

61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy? I want that money beech.

[youcantundothepast]

javid headcanons

hey so I haven’t updated in forever (I have reasons just not good ones ngl) (also I’ve been absent on all of my blogs so don’t think y’all are special ;))

but for now here are some wholesome Javid (modern) headcanons that aren’t really supposed to be anything in particular they’re just kind of cute

they skip around from high school to married life and everything in between

also this is so long because I love imagining my two pure boys in love

tw: idk why but there’s more cussing than usual (but I wouldn’t consider it excessive)

———————

- okay so first off, Davey is a mess

- like how does one date??? like he can barely stand his own life how can he share it with someone else????

- especially someone so perfect nice like Jack

- but this isn’t Jack’s first rodeo and God bless him he just smiles when Davey’s awkward and will kiss his cheek or something and Davey will never be sure how he landed someone so nice perfect

- they don’t like the hassle of splitting the bill on dates so they alternate on who pays for the date

- Davey brought Jack sunflowers once for his designated date day and on Jack’s next designated date day, Davey received a painting of said flowers

- as they continuously date, though, they begin learning each other’s favorite flowers

- like Jack loves stargazer lilies but Davey can’t have lilies because of Sarah’s cat, Cheerio (never forget Cheerio)

- Davey favorite flowers are baby’s breath

- on prom night, Sarah and Katherine surprise the two with matching stargazer/baby’s breath boutonniere and they just go soft

- OKAY BUT DAVEY GETS SO SAD AT THE END OF PROM NIGHT BECAUSE HE’LL HAVE TO THROW IT AWAY BECAUSE CHEERIO GETS INTO EVERYTHING SO HE JUST THROWS IT IN THE TRASH AND THEN ON HIS

- AND JACK’S WEDDING DAY, JACK SURPRISES HIM BY SHOWING THE TWO MATCHING BOUTONNIERES now pressed and dead BUT HE CAN’T HELP BUT BE SPEECHLESS BY HIS NOW HUSBAND AND AHHHH

- “wait... oh my God I kissed you that night after you went dumpster diving!”

- also real quick, Sarah is Davey’s “best man” and he’s all like Sarah, you can wear a dress, you don’t have to wear a suit like Jack’s best man (Crutchie)

- and Sarah just glared and is like “bitch don’t take this from me”

- she was the best looking in the wedding photos rocking her amazing suit btw

- but back to when they’re just bfs

- when they first start being together Davey isn’t really sure what to think because they’re more than friends, but is it right to say Jack’s his boyfriend yet? (they hadn’t even had their first kiss yet)

- so he goes for a few weeks with them just have a few dates (are they dates though???) until Jack calls him his boyfriend in front of the other newsies (because he can register Davey’s apprehensiveness so he makes the first move)

- and Davey is just like ???!!?!!

- “you- you just called me the-the” and he can’t even register at the moment because the heart eyes are strong

- and Jack is just grinning and is just like “yeah, I just called you the b word. That’s okay with you right?”

- And Davey could just melt into a puddle and is internally like “HOLY SHIT WTF WHAT IS GOING ON I AM GOING TO IMPLODE BEFORE I DESERVE THIS NERD” but he just holds Jack’s hand and kisses the top of it and is like “yeah, I consider you my b word too”

- then Race says whispers “my bitch” to Spot and ruins the whole moment

(okay that sounded so awkward with the whole b word thing but I really wanted to make that joke because I love that meme(?) so allow me)

- their first kiss took a lot of time to build up to, but they both wanted to make sure it’d be perfect so it was on their last day of Junior year and they just spend thirty seconds afterwards just staring into each other’s eyes with their foreheads touching while holding the other’s hands

- Katherine takes a picture of the “first kiss aftermath” posts it to instagram (with their permission) with the caption “FINALLY!!!” with a billion heart emojis

- everyone who didn’t know the two were together scream in the comments

- Jack has to make a follow up post of Davey kissing his cheek and him winking with a huge smile of his face with the caption “my boyfriend ❤️”

- Race, ofc, comments “I thought he was your bitch”

- they’re not really into PDA except simple hand holding and small pecks on lips/face every so often

- Jack’s favorite sign of affection is rubbing his thumb along the top of Davey’s hand especially when Davey gets really anxious because it helps him calm down and remember to breathe

- Davey loves to run his hands through Jack’s hair because it is so soft and sometimes Jack won’t cut it for a while and it’ll curl at the ends and Davey loves playing with them

- they usually only do this though when in private or around close friends because they feel like they’re shoving their relationship down people’s throats with obvious actions

- sometimes someone like Finch will fake gag and Katherine will punch him and he won’t do it again because damn Katherine punches hard

- Jack’s favorite dates are when they just order take out and sit on the couch all night to watch movies

- Jack has made Davey’s watch Brother Bear probably 300 times, but while Jack loves every second of the movie, Davey just smiles and powers through

- it is a good movie though (go watch it if you haven’t you are going to cry your eyes out)

- Davey likes to watch the action movies and superhero movies like Marvel

- (they totally went to see Infinity War and Davey was so broken after like he just stayed in bed cuddling with Jack for hours balling his eyes out)

- (then they went to see Ant-man and the Wasp and the cycle repeated)

- Davey’s favorite dates though are packing some sandwiches and apples/chips and just going to the park and having a picnic or going stargazing

- in NYC, they don’t see many stars so for Davey’s birthday, Jack picked him up in the middle of the night once and drove them to the middle of nowhere to stargaze

- for Jack’s birthday, Davey wants to do something special, but isn’t really sure what to do until Sarah gives him an idea

- it’s Jack’s 18th birthday so he gets a big box and fills it up with “18 things I love about you” and Jack cries reading the little notes Davey writes

- it’s things like a box of new color pencils with a note saying “you add so much color to the lives of everyone you meet” and also a fidget spinner with a note taped on saying “once start something, you won’t quit until it’s finished. but you also get annoying pretty quick ;)” so it’s just a bunch of useless junk but the sentiment and thoughtfulness of it is what makes it special

- did I say Jack cried? I meant to say Jack BAWLED

- like some of the little tear marks never came out of the pieces of paper

- when they decide they want to get married, they just kind of propose to each other

- like one night they are just like “hey, here’s a wild idea, but I love you like a lot and want to spend the rest of my days with you so let’s get married”

- and a month later, they surprise each other with rings so they both have engagement rings

- (low key inspired by AKB/Scott Bixby because that shit is adorable)

- but every relationship has to have some turbulence but it took me a while to come up with something because I don’t want these boys to be mad at each other :(

- so first off, they don’t argue long about the stupid stuff because they realized early that none of that is worth it because they make each other happy and that’s rare to come by these days

- but there are some persistent things they argue about ike Davey never taking care of himself (especially during their college days)

- poor boy doesn’t get enough sleep :(

- Jack’s hamartia is the fact that he can’t stand injustice/assholes

- so he’s often come home with a bloody lip or black eye

- Davey understands, but he wishes Jack wouldn’t get himself hurt so much

- (so they basically both have the same problem they just experience it in different ways)

- it’s when Jack calls Davey from jail when they have a big fight

tw: vague attempted sexual assault

- “A bar fight? What the hell, Jack?!”

- it was the worse Davey had ever seen him with his jaw swollen and bruises littering his whole body

- “Not my fault that motherfucker-“

- “You can’t just fight anyone who is rude or is racist! I hate people like that too, but you can’t punch them a few times and expect them to change in an instant. Some fights you just shouldn’t pick!”

- Jack had never seen Davey so mad so he takes a deep breath and reaches through the bars of the holding cell and grabs Davey’s shoulder calmly

- “Dave... the drink was drugged. I saw the guy put somethin in the woman’s drink when I was passin by the bar. I warned her, but then he came up and started makin a scene. Started making him the victim. He practically demanded that I let him take the girl home as if I could give him permission. Poor girl was so shocked and scared, and he wasn’t backin off. It was just me and him for a while and then his buddies showed up. Some other people tried to help me, and then the cops showed up. Fuckers pinned it all on me and I was in here before I could even let a word out.”

- Davey is speechless by Jack’s story and he was pretty sure he fell in love all over again

- “I jus hope that girl’s okay. She was cryin when I was being put into car in handcuffs. The other guy was only brought in for questioning. Said I was the one who started it and they believed me, saying only kids my age would start trouble like that. Apparently he’s a mechanic at the building down the road. Probably gives these cops discounts or somethin. It’s a load of shit if you ask me.”

- “I know, Jack. Let’s just get you out of here so you can heal up. Knowing you, you’ll probably have another black eye soon enough. Have to heal this one up so you don’t keep the next one waiting.”

- when they’re in their car, Davey reaches across and kisses his swollen jaw

- “I’m sorry about yelling at you, I didn’t know. You’re an amazing person, I should’ve known you wouldn’t just get in a random fight.”

tw over

- ahhh they’re so in love!!!!

- the best thing though is that they’re each other’s support systems

- like every night they go to bed and just cuddle and whenever one has had a bad day, the other will just open their arms and hug them and kiss them for as long as they need

- there’s just so much reassurance and small little compliments between the two

- a lot of stuff has happened during their lives and sometimes it just catches up to them, but the other is always there to catch him

- it’s just full of all-rounded, pure-hearted goodness

[arofili]

legolas or celebrimbor??

celebrimbor doesn’t have a tumblr, he made that shit. he and narvi are @staff.

(well. they were @staff…)

leg …. pre fellowship

their blog url

green-leaves-in-a-green-forest

(or something equally long and horrendously hyphenated and fake poetic)

the kind of posts they reblog

random shit he finds amusing

like, cat pictures and social justice posts from 2013

no theme at all

i would never follow him

the first person they followed

tauriel

she convinced him to get a tumblr because of the memes

a year later, she regrets this immensely

she matured and has a better blog that she doesn’t even use much

legolas is the exact same.

what kind of theme they’d have

tumblr default theme

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he will wake up in the middle of the night and post about the dreams he just had, but without any context

“made some chocolate milk with the lady who pulls the sun. tasted like weed. also, that one girl who i thought i had a crush on in 3rd grade was there. awkward.”

“sweating so much!! just ran a marathon with my dad while we were being chased by oliophaunts. the racetrack turned into a river halfway through. we won!!”

he thinks he’s funny

(he’s not.)

leg …… during fellowship

their blog url

he privated his blog for the first part of the journey because he thought it would be safer

after a few weeks he gets bored and starts liveblogging this shit

at that point his url becomes “fellowshipoftheleg”

his blog title is “Eight Idiots And A Gorgeous Elf Save The World”

“Hello! My name is Legolas Greenleaf. I am currently on a quest to save the world. The details are ~secret~ but I needed a place to vent so here we go. My companions are all idiots, except for me. My interests include….”

you know the type of subtitle i’m talking about.

the kind of posts they reblog

he basically stops reblogging and only makes original posts during this period of time

the liveblog

legolas had >300 followers before this, but his posts about his journey start to gain traction

his liveblog is pretty much petty complaints at first

he talks shit about gimli

he cracks “jokes” about boromir

(again. he’s not funny)

he reports on the weird stuff gandalf does

he gushes over the adorable hobbits

(until one day he accidentally bumps into frodo and sam tries to jump him.

he’s a little afraid of them after that.)

he quotes aragorn like there’s no tomorrow

some of these are like, actually deep

most of them sound like stuff from inspirobot

or they’re stupid inside jokes

everyone gets code names, cuz legolas isn’t that stupid

gandalf is “old man”

aragorn is “the bro”

boromir is “angstlord”

the hobbits go through tons of nicknames

“itty bitties”

“curly boys”

tiny monsters

eventually they get their own, but by that point the fellowship has split

gimli is “asshole dwarf”

after a few weeks… he becomes weirdly popular.

his story reads like a trollfic, with stupid plot twists and bizarre anecdotes

this mostly is anecdotes, not the full scope of the quest

he mostly makes text posts, with a few pictures here and there

every now and then he’ll post a snapshot of the fellowship roasting marshmallows

or a selfie of him in lothlorien

or a sneaky pic of him drawing dicks on boromir’s face while he’s asleep

he used to be low-profile, but shit’s gone whack.

he’s gaining hundreds of followers a day

his top post has half a million notes.

he’s a tumblr “cewebrity”

everyone on tumblr thinks this is just a story, not real life

people dig through his old posts looking for clues and foreshadowing

they’re baffled by the dedication the mod of the blog has to building up this “legolas” character

or they’re puzzled by the mod’s decision to turn this shit blog into a dedicated storytelling platform

legolas is bombarded with asks and @ mentions

but like…this bitch don’t actually know how to use this website.

he can make a post and reblog one

but that’s literally it

he’s the kind of blogger who leaves stupid captions on popular posts

he can’t figure out how tags work

he’s never heard of xkit

all his asks go unanswered

he’s only sort of aware of what’s going on

he’s blogging 100% from mobile, which makes it even worse

the Legolas Fandom goes buckwild

there is not enough time in the day to over it all

ship wars.

fan theories.

headcanon drama.

it’s a mess.

and again, legolas has no clue that this is going on.

when he catches feelings for gimli…things get insane.

he writes gushy, cringy, angsty posts about gimli

he posts pics of gimli with flower crowns

he composes bad poetry about gimli

the fan base is infuriated.

they’d all been shipping him with aragorn.

and like, no one in the fellowship has a fucking clue this is happening.

at least, not until they get to 

it’s ironic that Isolated Horseblr User eowyn is the first one to recognize legolas

she finally gets up the courage to ask him about it

“has someone been stealing your selfies, or…?”

he is astonished.

if Leg could, he’d shut down the whole thing

even if eowyn had wanted to help him do that, he’s just in too deep

he’s in this for the long haul.

now, Legolas starts to make shit up.

that’s when his popularity tanks.

he’s getting callouts

he’s everyone’s “problematic fav”

people dig through his blog to find dirt instead of clues

Legolas is more aware of this now, and he pouts for days

then gimli, a Twitter-Only lad, finally sees a masterpost explaining everything

he connects the dots way quicker than anyone else did

and oh fuck.

he’s frantically tweeting–

“wtf do i do??”

“i think i’m the asshole dwarf??”

“but he’s like in love with the asshole dwarf now??”

“oh my god, my crush likes me back??”

“has he been liveblogging EVERYTHING??”

eventually he deletes it all and decides to confront legolas

the leg boy caves under pressure and spills the beans.

they figure their personal shit out

of course, aragorn knew everything all along.

at least, that’s what he says

gimli takes over the liveblog for a day and everyone goes nuts.

together, he and leg decide that they’ve got to end this fake-ish story

even though they don’t know the ending of the real one.

for someone who’s never used it before, gimli picks up tumblr etiquette quickly

and on mobile. that’s a whole nother level of perseverance.

he starts streamlining shit, collecting information, making use of fan masterposts

he ties all the loose ends together

with a little bit of help from legolas to make it suitably weird, they close the story strong with a bang and a kiss.

aragorn finds their version of events…amusing.

after the real dust settles and the news stories about the Real Quest hit the press…

now legolas is a Real Actual Celebrity

his fans new and old start to see…similarities between the two stories

plagiarism?

insider info?

conspiracy?

coincidence?

no one can decide.

leg ………… post fellowship

their blog url

Legolas has three blogs now.

“fellowshipoftheleg” is kept as an archive. he doesn’t post there anymore.

he has a secret personal blog, “greenwood-gossip”, that he just posts random shit on like before.

and finally he has a Real Life Famous Person Tumblr Blog, “legolasgreenleaf”

the kind of posts they reblog

with the help of gimli and tauriel, he figures out how to actually use this website.

like most celeb blogs this one doesn’t post much

but he does reblog edits of himself and of his friends

every time he’s asked about fellowshipoftheleg he answers that he is not responsible for it and has no idea about it and would you all please stop asking about it.

the first person they followed

aragorn’s new Famous Person account.

this blog is deactivated after two months because he never uses it.

what kind of theme they’d have

something that should be really classy but with awkward shades of green

like, it had potential but again…legolas has a terrible eye for design

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he doesn’t usually make original posts

but sometimes he’ll complain about gimli’s weird habits

and once - just once - he confessed that he was the one who ran that liveblog all those years ago

he deleted the post an hour later, but there were screenshots.

legolas is the Ultimate Troll.

[antiquexbeast]

update

as ya’ll might have noticed i haven’t been here for... quite some time.

i’ve been meaning to make a post like this explaining wtf is going on in my life so no one thinks i’m dead or something, but despite being an “accepting” place, every time i post about my mental health or something else less than positive happening to me in my life, it’s never received well. i’ve had more than a few people on occasions say that my sparingly few mental health posts “trigger” them, and to be absolutely honest i’d rather just never post then fight anyone about that.

i’m very old and very tired. i don’t have a lot of energy left to fight people about how toxic and fucked up that actually is, but eh, it is what it is.

on an actual note a lot’s going on on my end. a lot of it not very good. my job situation is horseshit. over the course of a few months, i’ve gone from 35 hours a week to 7 hours. despite having two jobs i’m only making about $300 a week at best. my share of rent is double that amount not including utilities. i’ve resorted to pulling money out of my surgery fund to make ends meet, which is very quickly going to run out.

rent has also increased by an extra $100 this year for some reason. so now i’m even less in a position to pay for anything. i can’t even remember the last time i ate any actual meal that wasn’t scavenged off someone else’s plate.

i have 20 things to say about how much i hate my fucking job and the shady fuckers i work with, but that’d take entirely too long to get through tbh.

none of this would be a huge problem if my depression wasn’t EXCESSIVELY BAD and sapping all the energy i have to deal with any of this on a reasonable level. i know what i need to do to get out of this but the insurmountable amounts of bullshit i’ve been having to deal with at my second job saps every single ounce of my willpower to Adult. like idk how many times i’ve had to just stand there and let some entitled fuck yell at me about the most absolute trivial thing in the universe. like is this expired coupon really worth screaming at me about, Helen?

TL:DR; i’ve been trying to be active intermittently, because being here does make me happy, but i’m literally too creatively dead to come up with anything other than reblogging a few aesthetic posts at a time.

[vroombroomzoom]

Comprehensive review of the Ducati Monster 620 (2002 and thereabouts)

Over recent years I have been a very lucky motorcyclist, having ridden a number of very different bikes from across many different categories and amongst this wonderful mix of crotch-rockets, I have owned three Ducati Monster 620IE/620SIE Italian masterpieces. 

How I came to love this particular model is explained in one of my previous posts so I won’t bore you with the details, but in summary, I fell in love with the beauty and pagentry of this little air-cooled naked.

I’m going to attempt to cover all aspects of this bike as best I can in the following ramblings and musings as I recollect my time with the Ducati Monster 620SIE. 

RIDING IT (because really, that’s where it’s at)

If you speak to any honest Monster owners, they will tell you that these particular bikes are a bit of a love/hate relationship. If they tell you they love riding these things, they are lying. They might like THE THOUGHT of being on top of these Italian pieces of artwork, but there is plenty to dislike (and some things to like) about the ride. 

To start with, the 620 has an excellent seating position. A slightly agressive reach to the bars is “just right” and of all the porridge I’ve sampled, this one is an excellent overall compromise. Some like to take things a little futher and put on clip-ons, but then again, they probably aren’t riding more than 50km at a time. 

Wind buffering is shit, and especially shit if you decide to get rid of that tiny fairing that you get on the S models. But of course this bike isn’t a tourer and it reminds you of that fact every time you sit on it. The seat is absolutely attrotious. It’s hard and although it doesn’t push your nuts underneath you like the newer ones (which I will write about at a later time), it scores about a 4/10 for comfort. It’s bearable in small bursts under an hour or so, but the padding is too firm for anything longer. Event to this day the foam hasn’t softened and the extra padding I have involuntarily put onto my arse over the years hasn’t improved it enough either. 

Riding it in the hills, the Monster is at home. The uniqueness of that off-throttle compression means you can sometimes go for quite a few twisty kilometres without even using the brakes. It feels nimble enough with the right tyre, but it’s only when you hop off a newer bike that the deficiencies in the dynamics becomes more evident. Still, it’s responsive, but in an early 2000s kind-of-way. Riding it back-to-back with my next gen Monster 796, the two are on completely different planets in terms of weight distribution, turning circle, rake and responsiveness. Is it bad? Well no, but it’s not the type of bike you’d turn into a track weapon. 

Riding it in the city, which is what it’s supposedly made for, the 620 actually struggles a little. That low rev putt putt putting around that you end up often doing becomes painful and you end up riding the clutch to be smooth. Once you’re used to this, it’s not a problem, but it’s definitely no Ninja 300. To add to the annoyance is the air cooled engine, which, after sitting at the lights, becomes rather hot and starts to splutter and pop, which I actually didn’t mind, but must not have been too nice for the combustion chamber. 

When I felt my arse was up to the task, I took these bikes on 500km+ rides a few times. As you’ve read above, this is not a tourer and I was ready to kick the bike over at the end of each of these rides. My arse was sore. My hands were so numb and fatigued, I actually experienced cramps following the rides, but that could have been partially down to me death gripping the bloody useless grips. There is a significant amount of vibration in the 620, especially with any pipes outside of the restrictive factory offering, but it’s a compromise we make for that wonderful sound eminating from the desmo.

Oh yes, that sound. There is not much else out there that comes close to the thunder-god Harley/sportsbike mix that you get with a Desmo, especially with the right pipes. With factory, there is a little gurrgle, but with a new set of less-restrictive pipes, your machine becomes a fire breathing dragon faster than you can say “I will pay anything, just give me those god damned cans”. 

The big boofy white elephant in the room is the power produced by the 618cc fuel injected engine. It was a very simple update from the 600 and a quite early version of injection that gave you 57 HP when the bike was new. This puts it into a no-mans land in terms of modern bikes, since it’s not quite learner power and it definitely will not set the world on fire either. So you’re stuck in an in-between place of useful but somewhat lacking ponnies. It’s good for hitting 180kph, but it does not really like being there. There is plenty of torque for take offs but it starts losing out very quickly once the first gear change occurs. The Monster was my first bike and I found it excellent to learn on, but, in Australia anyway, it doesn’t meet current LAMS requirements so no one will be learning on these bikes anymore.   

MAINTAINING IT/BUILD QUALITY

My first Monster was immaculate. My second one I didn’t do enough kms on to have to worry about maintenance. The third one, I dropped the oil, replaced the filter and troubleshooted a few items along the way. 

You’re probably aware of the reputation of older Ducatis and service intervals. This particular series was the first to employ slightly updated internals from the first series 600s, which meant the intervals were pushed out a little further, but still a pain. The desmo valve adjustment still requires the sale of a kidney. 

In terms of build quality, the frame and plastic fairings/cowls were of a very high finish. However, there continue to be some deterioration in the use of cheaper plastics in the indicators and their design on a vibratory motorcycle means they often break/disintegrate. Unless the owner is meticulous in their upkeep, there will be some rusting on chrome bits and most bolts, as well as the instrument cluster on SOME of these having the dreaded moisture entry which is annoying. The seat material can be worn quite easily with a somewhat slippery vinyl material being used that doesn’t stand up to the harsh Australian climate. On one of my bikes I also had a cracked rear hugger. 

These bikes are getting somewhat aged now. As such, there are a number of gremlins. The main one I came across is sub-par wiring which lead to other problems. Unfortunately, to get that sexy design to work, a lot of the wiring had to go near the cylinders and after years and years of functioning in that hot environment, I think the wires finally just pack it in. I have made a comprehensive video here about how I ended up troubleshooting a somewhat complex issue (finding a workaround). They do cook rec/regs as a result of this poor wiring, but apart from these little niggly issues, they are quite easy to maintain. Note that aftermarket OEM parts are starting to be hard to come by and tend to be on the expensive side. The Chinese have made little effort to re-create identical/close to identical replacements, and unfortunately you won’t find indicators that are a straight fit for the 620. For this reason, the obligatory tail-chop (which involves actually hacking into the frame) is almost a must-do.

DROOLING OVER THE DESIGN

Where this bike shines, even today, is the aesthetic design. That tank. The exposed trellis. The retro round headlight. The way it sounds.....OMG. An annoyance though is the shitty zip-tie job on the frame which is just kind of bizzare. I can see the design meeting now, “So, team, we just spent countless hours on the design of this motorcycle. HANG ON A SECOND! WE FORGOT THE ELECTRICS!!! FUCK! Never mind, just zip tie it to the frame.” Seriously Ducati....WTF??? But yes, she is typically Italian with plenty of thought to make this bike look a bit like a charging bull with that humped tank, as well as keeping it retro with the simple round headlight. Well done Ducati. 

So iconic is this design that may have copied it. In fact, if you squint your eyes a little, the Honda VTR250 is basically a smaller version of this design. The Hyosung GT650, Cagiva Raptor, older Suzuki SV650, the Gladius, MV Augusta Brutale and some of the Honda CB series bikes all owe their design cues to the Monster.

IN CONCLUSION

In all my years of riding bikes I have only ever seen a handful of 620IE in the wilderness. I don’t think they sold too many here in Australia but I would assume that a large number of these are down in Melbourne and Sydney where they’re home to collectors. The world, and Ducati, and I, have definitely moved past these bikes but I dare say there are still a few hundred proud owners out there, grumbling about the valve clearance costs, but passionately loving their little Monsters none-the-less. 

[scriptgerman]

Karneval, Fasching, Fasnet: The fifth season

It’s Wednesday, March the first: Ash Wednesday. Which means for Christians that Lent begins and for Germans that the fifth season of the year is over. (Of course, for Christian Germans it also means that Lent begins.) Fifth season you ask? Wtf Germany? Well, yes. It’s spring, summer, fall, winter and KARNEVAL aka Fasnet aka Fasching aka carnival, obviously ;)

We’re gonna do this after a read more, because apparently I like to write a lot.

Let’s start with some definitions:

Die fünfte Jahreszeit (The fifth season): 11.11/ 06.01. until Ash Wednesday, time of the carnival in Germany

Karneval: Name for the festivities in western, northern and eastern Germany

Fasching: Name for the festivities in Bavaria and the southern east of Germany

Fasnet: Name for the festivities in Baden-Württemberg

Please note that especially in Nordrhein-Westfalen (North Rhine-Westphalia) Karneval is dominant, but there are also regional names being used, like “Fastelovend” and “Fasteleer”.

So what exactly is being celebrated with these festivities?

These festivities date back before the Christianisation: People believed that evil spirits brought the winter with them. The festivities were used as a way to chase these spirits away. After Christianity was established the festivities lived on as a way to feast before Lent and the costumes meant to scare the spirits became the fun and colourful costumes known today. Well, mostly.

What does the fifth season look like?

The first to start the fifth season are the people celebrating Karneval: They start the festivities officially on the 11.11 at 11:11 o’clock, while everyone else starts later, on January 6th. Though between November and January there aren’t many festivities. Through January and February, all festivities are sittings.

The Thursday, known as “Weiberfastnacht” (literally “Women’s Fasnacht”; “Weib” being an archaic, derogatory term for woman), “Fetter Donnerstag” (Fat Thursday) or “Schmotziger Donnerstag” (Dirty Thursday”) before Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the carnival parades, although most only start on Friday: On Thursday, people celebrate costumed in bars and clubs, in and around Cologne and Mainz, carnival strongholds in Germany, it’s something of an unofficial holiday. Men are advised to not wear their best tie, for women go around and cut them off, the tie being a sign for men’s power. The men are compensated with a kiss (on the cheek). But careful! If the wearer has not given permission before, your female character could get in trouble. (Does not apply if the man in question is taking part in the festivities and should know about this tradition.)

All during the weekend, parades take place, finding their climax on “Rosenmontag” (“Rose monday”). A few last parades take place on Tuesday, sometimes known as “Veilchendienstag” (“Viola Tuesday”). No more festivities take place on Ash Wednesday, though there are many political events, which is known as “politischer Aschermittwoch” (“political Ash Wednesday”).

What are the differences between Karneval, Fasching and Fasnet?

Though the rough course is the same in all three festivities, they vary a lot. I can’t talk much about bavarian Fasching, though I expect it is similar to swabian Fasnet.

As I said above, the official start in the Karneval season is November 11th, 11:11 am. Why right then? No one knows for sure, a lot for myths and half facts. It’s tradition. Nonetheless, most events don’t start until January. In January, a Prince is chosen to reign during the fifth season. This is varies from region to region, sometimes the Prince reigns alone, sometimes as Royal Couple with his Lady by his side, sometimes, for example in Cologne, it’s the “Dreigestirn” (triumvirat) of Prince, Pawn and Virgin (all three traditionally men). They are positions of importance and honour.

Until Weiberfastnacht, all festivities are sit down, indoor sessions, with wide programs where speeches are given, songs are sung (with or without the audience) jokes told, dances and skits shown. Everyone is at least partly costumed.

The weekend after Weiberfastnacht, processions take place literally everywhere. These processions are made up of dancing groups, marching bands on foot or on horse, horses, support vehicles and floats - mostly build by the “Jecken” (the people celebrating) themselves, often with political motives, national and international. During the processions, lots of sweets in every variation are thrown down from the floats and given out from the marching groups, as well as flowers (in exchange for a Bützchen - a kiss with closed lips, on the lips or the cheek; if the persons included get close enough together) and little knick-knacks, including small plastic figures, whistles, balls, condoms and stuffed animals.

The biggest of these processions take place on Rosenmontag, and the biggest of those takes place in Cologne: Over a million Jecken are lining the sides, the way the groups walk is 7,5 km long (~4,6 miles). This takes a single group about 5 hours: The procession is never faster than walking pace and often needs to stop for various reasons. In 2017, the procession was 8 km long - and therefore longer than the way to go! Because of that, during the last years the starting time was moved from 11:11 am to 10 am, to make sure that the last participants reach the end before sundown.

Traditionally, leading the procession are the Blauen Funken, a dance group. In the middle is the float of the president of the Festive Committee and the end is made up of the guard of honour, the float of the Pawn and Virgin and the Prince’s float and, at the very end, the Prinzen Garde (Prince’s Guard).

The WDR, a local TV station, shows the procession in it’s entirety on TV. A few numbers from this year’s procession: about 300 Tons of sweets, over 700.000 chocolate bars, more than 220.000 chocolate boxes and over 300.00 Strüßjer were given out (Strüßjer are usually a single flower wrapped with a little green.), there were 114 floats and carriages, 90 tractors, 85 vehicles holding the throwing material, 82 marching bands from all over the world, 500 horses and 12.000 participants, plus nearly 3000 helpers walking next to the floats and tractors, holding signs etc to make sure that the procession goes as smoothly as possible and no-one is run over. The participation of horses is constantly discussed and criticised by animal rights activists.

People call “Kamelle” (a dialectal word for sweets) to get sweets and “Strüßje” to get flowers. Other things that can be heard are “Kölle Alaaf” and “De Zuch kütt” (The procession is coming).

From personal experience I can say that it’s very, very easy to come back from a procession - even one of the smaller ones - with several bags filled with sweets and stuff. When my best friend and I were at two processions a few years back, we each had a bouquet with more than 20 flowers at the end.

Here is a youtube video with the Highlights of the Rosenmontags procession this year. The woman talking btw, is speaking the local dialect from Cologne. I also reblogged a post with pictures of some political floats.

Fasnet traditionally starts on January 6th, although some places have adapted the 11.11 from Karneval. It differs in other aspects as well: Traditionally, there is no Prince whatsoever and the revelers are called “Narren” not “Jecken”. The processions are smaller, less stuff is given away and mostly it’s sweets given away. Also, the processions are made up of groups wearing “Häß”: a special kind of costume, mostly made by hand by the Narr themself and usually including bells and masks. The groups vary from village to village, though some bigger groups have branches in more than one village or town and each group has their own history and legends. They usually carry something called “Saustift”, a stick of greasepaint, in different colours with which the spectators are marked. Some groups kidnap spectators and take them with them for some part of the way, in handcarts or cages. Frankly, as a kid I was damn scared of them and much preferred Karneval in Cologne with my grandparents.

An example for a Narren group/ Häß: Krautscheißer (literally Kraut shitters)

They are named for some people in a very good mood shitting on the local pastors cabbage, or so the legend goes. In the picture are two Krautscheißer in the foreground and two Kochhäfen in the background - originally to groups, now because of declining numbers one group with different Häß.

[a picture of 4 people wearing Häß: in the front two persons in green costumes, made of overlapping green cuttings in varying green tones. They wear belts with big bells over their chests and wooden masks surrounded with what looks like salad leafs. On their temple are colourful slips, the hair of the masks are should long, green woolen strands. In the background are two figures in white. Although they are mostly covert by the figures in the front, one can see that they are wearing wooden masks as well, with what looks like two foxtails on each temple. Their Häß is white with colourful embroidery. Their bell belts are black.]

What effects has the Narrenzeit?

(Narrenzeit = Time of the Narren, a swabian name for the time)

Narren and Jecken actively participating in processions while be unavailable for some time, caught up in preparations, meetings and processions and people traveling on the date of a procession should check the route of said procession so as to not get stuck because the streets are closed off. Stores will have costumes and theater make up en masse for sale and themed parties will be held everywhere. Schools in regions where either of those festivities are traditional will usually time their winter holidays to cover Rosenmontag. In my elementary school we would come costumed to school on the last day before the holidays and were “freed” from classes halfway through the day by Narren.

There’s also a special kind of baked goods available in February, a kind of fluffy deep-frying dough, which is sometimes covered in sugar and other times filled with jam, custards or other sweet creams.

Got a question for the German?