#also this may change kinda frequently until i find one that fits

[stellocchia]

I love the headcanon of Killer having ADHD, but I never see it explored much despite it being so popular. So here's a list of how ADHD may affect him based on my own experience:

- He remembers he's said something, but doesn't remember to who and just assumes it was everyone who needed to know. It was not.

Imagine the amount of times he's noticed a detail and told the Chara in his mind to not forget only to then forget they're the only one he spoke to about it. Sure, this is gonna be a problem while living under Chara or Nightmare if they find out (I say 'if' because Killer may play the part of the fool with them to lower their guard and him not noticing shit would fit right in), but it's also gonna be troublesome when he's already living with Color.

Imagine he scheduled his next therapy appointment and the only person he told that to is the voice in his head, like, that's bound to end up in a few skipped sessions.

- Remembers only one task at a time unless he writes them down.

I don't doubt that Chara and Nightmare both tried to beat some memory into him, but, surprise surprise, abuse doesn't cure ADHD. For some reason, they're both shocked to find this out.

Killer may develop the strategy of just repeating the list of tasks in his head with the exact cadence and rhythm they were told to him in over and over again as he's doing them to keep them in mind if he doesn't have access to a way to write the orders down. It works pretty well as long as he never stops doing it. As soon as he stops, anything but the task he was currently focusing on disappears.

- Inability to focus on only one thing at a time as it's too understimulating.

I know this one feels like a contradiction to the last one, but imagine it more as 'can't focus on reading unless you're also listening to something or fidgeting with your hands, or walking in circles'. More than one sense has to be stimulated at all times unless you wanna dissociate.

And, to be fair, Killer probably spent most of his time under Chara and Nightmare dissociating anyway, so it's possible that he discovered this neat little trick only after leaving with Color, most likely after starting therapy. Because, while Color of course tries his best to help, he also doesn't have all the knowledge and experience necessary to always know how.

- Irregular sleeping patterns.

This guy probably barely sleeps most of the time under Chara and Nightmare, both because they only allow him to as a reward if he's been good, and because it's such a vulnerable position to be in that it isn't worth it.

But, even once he's settled in with Color, my guy is still gonna swing between sleeping 3 hours and 12 hours straight depending on the day. He may lay down for a nap in the afternoon only for him to wake up the next day. Especially if he's kinda bored. Buddy's sleeping schedule is gonna give Color a heart attack.

- Frequent bouts of depression.

Depression and ADHD are linked together heavily, if he has ADHD it's highly likely that he suffers from depression too.

I mentioned it before, but I think his coping mechanism for that is locking himself in Stage 2, although he's not doing so consciously. Stage 2 is just the most likely one to be able to handle the increased anxiety/paranoia and apathy that come with it. He's also the least likely to change his behavior, so outsiders may miss the fact that they're in a vulnerable position. This, however, is a double edged sword because that guy is shit at taking care of the body and himself and may just go without eating and sleeping until he collapses, all while dissociating the whole time.

- All-consuming bouts of hyperfixation that leave him feeling empty once they fade.

The hyperfixation could be related to specfic AUs, characters within them (he doesn't consider anyone real anyway) or even tasks, weapons, animals, specific people.

For as long as the hyperfixation lasts, he struggles thinking of anything else and/or being happy/interested/focused while thinking about anything else. Of course, every time he thinks that maybe this is the interest that's gonna stick only for it to eventually fade and leave him feeling empty, maybe even kick-starting another bout of depression. There are ways to cope with that (pushing yourself to explore interests outside of you hyperfixation and establishing a healthy routine outside of it helps), however I think he'd only start exploring those once he's with Color and in therapy because mental health under Nightmare and Chara isn't really a thing. He's too busy trying to remain functional with them for that shit.

-

Of course, there's more to it, but those are the things I personally love to give Killer the most. That and the fact that he's easy to distract with something colorful and that is one of the reasons why he likes Color so much (same). Though that one's just funny tbh.

[moonlit-orchid]

Just a lil announcement:

Blog name's gone from Angle-Of-Sweet-Revenge to moonlit-orchid >w<

Is this the third change now? Yes

Is it gonna be the last? Nope :D

[oakgreenoak]

Something I've always found kinda interesting about Red and Green in gameverse is how they turn some of the Stock Shōnen Protagonist/Rival tropes on their heads.

This is really long character analysis of these two and various media counterparts of theirs, so I'm gonna stick it under a cut.

In some ways they fit their roles quite well - aside from the obvious colour associations, you have Red as the hero whose sense of justice is stronger than his sense of self-preservation, and you have Green as the privileged rival who cares about beating Red above all else.

But, if you look at it another way - Green's got the light spiky hair, the hot-headed and boisterous personality, the drive to Get Better And Win. He's designed to read as really open and chipper, yet snarky. Sure, he isn't dumb, but he's arrogant, and he's got something of a one-track mind; the guy finds himself in the middle of a hostage situation because he's just that hellbent on fighting his rival, and does not seem to be thinking about anything else. He's also got a motivation - given how the Professor talks to him in the championship room and supplementary material like his Generations appearance, it's not a stretch to think the reason he's so driven to Get Better And Win is to prove himself to his grandfather. It's shown in later games and supplementary works that he's become somewhat of a mentor as he got older and wiser.

Red, on the other hand, is a quiet loner whose only motivation seems to be to get stronger for the sake of getting stronger. He's level-headed and dark haired, his cap rounding off his edges and obscuring his face. He's heroic, but not really sociable, as evidenced by the fact he spends the Johto games alone on a mountain without having told anyone where he went. He seems isolated in a way that later games' protagonists really don't. He may have always been a step behind Green, but he's always better.

Equally fascinating to me is how other adaptations have changed the base designs around and rewritten personalities to suit different purposes, while still being visually recognisable as counterparts to their game-selves.

For example: Red and Green's counterparts in Special slot WAY more neatly into their stock shōnen roles, with Red as the boisterous hero and Green as the broody rival, and it's reflected in their new designs.

Red's hair becomes spiky to reflect his more excitable nature. His hat, in turn, never obscures his face; it's always either tilted back to accommodate his fringe or turned backwards. Green's hair, on the other hand, is not quite as spiked upwards and instead falls into his face, frequently obscuring his far eye in the same way game!Red's hat does.

And then, of course, the anime balanced them in a totally different direction.

Instead of scrapping Green's personality wholecloth, it's become exaggerated in Gary. He's not the broody antihero rival, he's the arrogant, privileged, better-than-you rival. He's always ten steps ahead of Ash, always pisses him off, and is ALWAYS better until the end of his run. The anime also emphasises his intelligence far more, with him doing things like rattling off dex info and the speed of light in mph off the top of his head, to further contrast him with Ash.

Ash, who is of course THE shōnen protagonist. He's dumb, but determined, and always ready to help people in need. Unlike game!Red, the power of friendship (with more than just pokémon) is central to him; any given season of the show is defined as much if not moreso by his travelling companions and interpersonal relationships as it is by whatever he's actually doing.

It's funny to me, though, how most adaptations seem to find the fact that gameverse Red and Green have swapped some stock roles as something to fix. Even Origins, which is probably the closest a high-profile adaption has come to game-accurate, made its version of Red louder and more standard-hero-esque.

I'm not knocking any of these things, of course, just observing. I adore both Special and anipoke. I just think that the way the game characters are written could lead to some interesting dynamics were it to be explored more.

[maggielindemanns]

🎶 last christmas, i gave you my heart… but the very next day, i forgot to check tumblr anons again 🎶

dyamond dearest, hello! ✨ i hope this week has been a little nicer to you than the last one was, and that you’ve found a little time for leisure amongst the busier bits. this season is always more go go go than ho ho ho, i find. i have so much shopping to do and so little time to entertain it, so know that i feel your pain & am cheering you on from the sidelines. 🥲🫶 i have been mulling over my answers to this week’s questions for the past few hours and i am still not 100% settled on what i’d ask each of the boys… but since you were lovely enough to ask for my responses, i shall do my very best to come up with ~ something ~! 🤍

1. asking for harry’s hand in platonic crime is a super smart way to go, for sure! kinda like asking a genie for more wishes… except with the promise of nights spent leisurely watching movies together and gossiping about everything and nothing 😌 as somebody who compares their entire life to incredibly niche lyrics, i think i’d ask both the boys “if your life was a movie, what three songs would make up the soundtrack to it so far?” and see how their answers compared. there’s something so charming about hearing artists gush about other artists, you know? it’s a reminder that they’re just as dorky as we are. harry’s music taste is so eclectic that i imagine his would be wild dhfgf!

2. i can totally understand why you’d find your home show a more soothing experience than msg – though i’m equally glad you got to live through a moment in spitstory (i groaned at that, too 😌🫶). i actually saw harry for the first (and eighth 🥲) time this summer! i was supposed to see him during his first solo tour but my circumstances got a bit messy and i couldn’t make it. so, this time around i had a bit of a silly spending spree and took myself on a tour of the uk, amsterdam and paris! i also found some of my smaller shows to be my favourites. wembley was immense, but dublin stands out as one of the most magical. i have a really distinct memory of blubbering to sott from the stalls and enjoying all of the lights. it was nice to experience it from further afield for a change, to see everybody dancing and the sun setting. seeing louis in may sounds like a dream come true! i look forward to checking in and seeing your reactions! he’s great live, you’ll have a BLAST. 🕺🎶

3. well, it seems we are very similar! 😌 i studied english literature at university, so reading is one of my greatest hobbies too. bunny has been on my tbr for yonks, though i’m yet to pick it up! did you enjoy it? i just picked up persephone station by stina leicht which was a shameless cover buy… but book riot’s review says “feminist and full of dynamic characters you’ll love” and there’s a badass looking android on the front of it, so i have high hopes! 📖 some other hobbies of mine include: writing poetry, reading copious amounts of fanfic, frequenting the cinema & starting but not finishing more projects than i can count dgdgff. ✨

i must admit that it has taken everything (e v e r y t h i n g) in me not to cheat the system and ask google for help answering your riddle dhdgf. 🥲 i am stumped and need the answer pronto! my initial thought was that it may be a play on words, but iiiiii am no closer to solving it! i’m going to kick myself, aren’t i?

this week’s questions are simply follow up ones from today’s chit chat, if you’d like to answer them! if not, feel free to just ramble to me about your day. there’s never any obligation for an answer as long and laborious as the asks i’ve been sending dhdgf. 🥲

1. if your life was a movie, what song/s would be on the soundtrack?

2. what was your favourite harry fit of love on tour ‘22?

3. is there a louis song that you’re particularly excited to hear live for the first time? (barring holding on to heartache, because i know that’s one of your favourites of all time 😌)

– until next time, your festive friend. 🎄🤍

HELLOOOOOO holiday bestie!!!

this week has definitely been so much nicer, leisure is another story but i am feeling much better than last time. also — i have to do some last minute gifts today after work so i am sooooo stressed about it but honestly it’s my own fault agsjdhsj. i’m cheering for you as well! always <3

literally thats the main goal of hanging out w harry, i just literally wanna be his best friend and that’s all :’) i just know they both would have the best answers and they’d be so fitting for each of them 🥹

EIGHT TIMESSSS SO JELLY but that sounds so amazing omg!!! i always wanted to go to a european show, and all those places sound so lovely! sott w all the lights I AM JEALOUSSSS that sounds like magic. i am so excited to see louis i just know it’ll be LIFE CHANGINGGG

bunny was interesting! it was …. complicated, but very interesting agsjdhsj i feel like that’s not selling it very well 😭. that book sounds bangin tho !! FELT THAT ABOUT STARTING SO MANY PROJECTS SGSJDHSJ I AM SUCH A MESS ABOUT IT. i havent read fanfic in EONS i need some good recs

the answer was — a ton! it is kinda a play on words, at least i think? hope you’re not kicking yourself agsjdhsjs

now to answer your questions!

1. I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MUCH. well kinda. since i was/am an avid lover of skam, i used to think about what songs would be on my skam season, and i’ll give 5 to narrow it down. have you found what you’re looking for? by ashton irwin, just like you by annika rose, buzzkill by baby queen, unlovable by delacey, and pretty lips by winehouse! hard to narrow it but hey sgskdhd i tried

2. OOOOOOO EXCELLENT QUESTION. also so very hard tbh, anything w the hiddies™️ out is a fave afsjdhdjs BUT. i will say mex city night 2, austin 10/3, and manchester night two, super honorable mentions to new york night 6 and 7 (seven was mine so it’s gotta get chosen!), toronto night one, and london night one. what are yourssss !!

3. CHICAGOOOOOO. it just gives me a vision of everyone having their lights up and singing along i hope there are fan projects or somethin bc i can just . i have a vision for it

hmmm i should ask you some questions, like an uno reverse kind of move.

1. what is a show/movie you wish you could experience for the first time again?

2. what is, in your opinion, one of the best albums of all time?

3. if you were an animal, what animal would you want to be?

until next time indeed! 🤍 missing you already

[howdoyousleep3]

where’s that hc about bucky learning to touch 🤲

I was hoping someone would notice that tag and hit me up. Thank you, sweet pea. This one is special to me, one of many. ❤

Bucky doesn’t say much about what happened to him after the fall and before Steve was miraculously given a second chance at a life with him. Steve is thankful for that. The details he does know come from Bucky’s therapist and from files that have been scrounged up over time, ones Steve can’t stomach through, ones he hands to Natasha and asks only for the information she finds pertinent.

Steve is sure he’d die of a goddamn broken heart if he knew every detail of Bucky’s 70+ years of brainwashed torture.

What he needs to know about Bucky is constant and will never change: this is James Barnes, the one in the same Steve spent his entire life falling in love with, Steve loves him now more than ever, and he is going to live every day he’s gifted with in this life for Bucky.

There are things Steve expects after Bucky joins him and the others back at the Tower, things Bruce has helped him comprehend in such a volatile predicament.

“It could take months, years even, for him to come back to you in full. And honestly, Steve...I would be ready for the possibility of him not returning to you in full. This may not end up being the Bucky you knew and grew up with. He needs therapy, needs patience, needs reminders of his life before, of who he was and is. This won’t be easy, Steve.”

Anything for Bucky.

There are things Bucky took to right away and other things that took much longer for him to enjoy or remember. Steve is with him every step of the way.

Sleep was one thing that Steve thought would be a struggle. After only one month of sleeping on the floor in the corner of his bedroom, Steve able to hear him tossing and turning and breathing heavily through his own bedroom wall, it took one afternoon nap on the couch to make him want to move to his new bed. While nightmares continued, Bucky slept albeit in small increments and sometimes through the day, but he slept.

Steve thought that would take years.

Crowds were another story. Crowds came with trust and Bucky rightfully didn’t trust others easily. He barely trusted Steve at first. It took time to get him out of the apartment, baby steps, one step forward and two steps back. They started with walks at dawn, fewer people, gave a shot at stopping for coffee on the way home a few times.

“It’s a Venti here, Buck,” Steve had tried to explain and Bucky huffed. “Why are things so goddamn complicated now? Just want a coffee, a—”

“I know— a black coffee with too much sugar. I got it.”

They’re working on interactions with others and the anxiety that comes with crowds. That one will take time.

What hadn’t taken time, and what startled everyone in the tower beyond belief, was Bucky and affection.

Steve may not know much of what Bucky has spent most of his life enduring but he at least had the assumption that what Bucky went through shouldn’t make him want any kind of touch from another person. Steve wrongfully assumed that any sort of gentle or soft touch wasn't something Bucky would like.

Bucky had spent the past 70+ years walking this earth as a killer, a robot, a machine, an assassin. He surely spent decades thinking he wasn’t worthy of anything, let alone love. He had been touch-starved, void of the tenderness and closeness Steve knows Bucky deserved and craved underneath the brainwashed parts of him.

It took time for Bucky to remember who Steve was to him. While he had recognized him immediately, remembering him but not how, it took months for Bucky to remembered the capacity in which he did so.

And Steve waited.

And waited.

Steve was gifted with small moments along the way, on this journey of Bucky remembering both himself and who Steve was to him:

“You...you were real small once,” Bucky said, factual with no trace of a question, hands in soapy water as he handed Steve a plate to dry. Steve had merely hummed. “Yeah, was...was maybe half the size I am now. Real small.”

“Could fit both’a my hands right around your middle…”

It had been a long while since Steve blushed like that.

Bucky standing over Steve’s sleeping form, heaving chest visible by only the filtered moonlight, Steve mumbling out a, “Buck, wha—?” before Bucky whispered, “You...you’ve been inside of me.” Steve sat up.

“I have,” Steve breathed, on cautious ground, shakier when Bucky then whispered, “But you like it better when I’m inside’a you.”

When Steve had swallowed audibly, nodded his head wordlessly, Bucky had turned and left the room.

It took months of moments like those to compile together, to form the picture of what Steve once was, what he yearned to continue to be, to Bucky. All of these moments, these memories, came to a head so unpredictably during yet another movie night. Knees knocking, fingers brushing, small touches that Steve absolutely soaked in, had gotten used to, had relearned.

When a glance towards Bucky had the wind knocking its way out of Steve’s chest, the familiarity of that look a bone-deep ache—

Bucky was going to kiss him.

A look full of determination and want, lips parted, eyes a bit glassy. Steve didn't dare move, had let Bucky come to him for fear of scaring him away. The moment their lips touched was the moment Bucky started crying. It had only been a short brush of their lips but Steve barely breathed, barely moved. Bucky had pulled back with wide, wet eyes, shaky breaths. “Buck, it’s okay. It’s okay. Everything’s alright, sweetheart,” are the words that easily slipped from his mouth, unable to stop them in a moment of progress that satiated his entire being.

That was the moment that changed everything. It was a startle to everyone involved. Steve had been ready to wait years, this entire life, for the moment he could touch Bucky again, could show him that physicality he knew his Buck craved. After that night on the couch it was as if the floodgates had opened—

Bucky remembered and wanted.

Regardless of where they were or what was happening, he wanted to be touching Steve: soft kisses on the cheek and lips, laying his head in Steve’s lap as he read, lacing his fingers between Steve’s during meetings, an arm wrapped around Steve’s waist between bouts of sparring. He’d trace patterns onto Steve’s thigh as he watched Steve draw, press against the line of his back while he cooked dinner.

Steve was floating on a cloud, was in heaven, never happier. It was perfection.

But what Bucky wanted, Steve couldn’t provide, couldn’t meet. Steve was only one man, couldn’t provide Bucky, whom touch had been stolen away from for decades, with everything he wanted. And that was okay, something Steve accepted, because there were other people Bucky could turn to that Steve trusted.

“I’m sure you all know why I asked you to meet with me,” Steve started, choosing a time Bucky was napping to meet with the rest of the group that either lived in or frequented the Tower. “Bucky has shown us a new side of him, has made some progress I think it’s worth discussing with everyone, since we’re all...we’ve all been affected...”

“Uhh, yeah— your Barnes-y boy has been all over me lately. I’m almost offended that everyone else is here to talk to Cap though. Thought he was just comin' onto me.”

“I have to tell you, I didn’t...I know we talked, Steve. But I’m honestly shocked at Bucky’s progress. It’s baffling.”

“I haven’t minded it. He lets me braid his hair.”

“Wait— y’all are getting touches?”

It was a group effort, supporting Bucky in this way. It was an adjustment, Bucky never prompting and questioning before touching or requesting touches— he just went for it. He was quiet still, not shy, merely observant. And just like he nudged at and leaned against Steve until his hands were on him, he did the same to others.

“I just ask that you show Bucky grace during this time. It’s a delicate situation. I need to know if you don’t want his touch or don’t wish to give him any kind of touch. I think it would be best if it came from me instead of from you in the moment.”

Natasha was who Bucky went to for scratches. Steve thinks it’s the nails. Steve also thinks Nat is Bucky’s favorite to go to for touches, even over him, but Bucky refuses to admit it.

When Bucky wants mindless touches, when he wants tickles and scratches, he goes to her. She naturally took to Bucky’s need for touches, the first occurrence one that came without hesitation. She’ll braid his hair, let him turn his head right where he wants her head scratches, naturally reaches for his back or shoulders to run her nails across when he saddles in close to her.

Thor is one of Bucky’s favorites too. Steve isn’t sure if it’s because of his strength or because of his warm and accepting demeanor but Bucky gravitates towards Thor often, mainly for neck and shoulder rubs. One, “James, my friend. You musn’t be afraid of asking for touch with me. I will always be willing to assist,” and that was all Bucky needed to feel comfortable walking over to Thor and nudging at his hands.

He puts his head on Bruce’s shoulder as soon as he can, likes sparring and playing hide and seek with Clint, enjoys putting his feet in Sam’s lap. Tony took some warming up to, but even then Bucky spent many hours in Tony’s lab, Tony guiding his hands, showing him what to do and how to work different machines, the two of them tinkering on his own arm.

Bucky kinda turns into the Tower kitty cat, wandering around quietly, napping in the sun, snacking, demanding affection from anyone he crosses paths with and trusts.

Everyone had their form of touch they shared with Bucky and Bucky absolutely blossomed under this form of support. Steve is forever grateful to be surrounded by a group of understanding individuals.

And every night when he lifts the comforter and feels the solid line of Bucky’s warm form against his side, the arm that now easily and inevitably slips around his waist, the familiar lips that always press against his temple, shoulder, and cheek, Steve is reminded this day was for Bucky and that the one they’ll wake up to will also be for him.

"I love you, Buck."

"Mhmm love you too, pal."

Steve doesn't even mind that Bucky spends his nights snoring in the crook of his neck, hot breath wafting over Steve's skin, hands grabby even as he dreams—

This is heaven.

[loyalshipper]

May I introduce the Tumblr DC community to one of my two favorite Batfam AUs I have created. Bruce Wayne owns a hotel/museum near an ocean cliff and still has a chronic adoption problem but doesn’t fight crime. (If anyone writes this you can make it to where heroes still exist, the Batfam are the inly no capes)

WE still exists but it isn’t run by Bruce it is run by Lucius because back in the 60s Thomas and Martha bought the hotel and wanted that to be their legacy. They still die the same way but Bruce puts all his efforts into running and blossoming the hotel which was his parent’s dream project.

I’ll get back into the hotel in a minute I’m taking about the kids now

Dick is gotten a similar way, he visits the Cape with Haly’s Circus, his parents die because of faulty wiring sold to the circus by Zucco and Dick becomes an orphan. Bruce just so happened to use his one night off in a while to go see the circus. He keeps thinking about Dick and ends up adopting him. He helps Dick and the Circus bring Zucco to justice and sues the hell out of him and shuts down his business. (Adopted at 8))

Jason was found living in one of the shut down rooms of the hotel. Because his dad left and was in prison and his mom od. So Bruce treats him like a wild animal and starts to leave food out on a regular schedule until Jason gets comfortable with him and he adopts Jason. (five years younger than Dick)

Tim was the son of two wealthy archaeologists who were gone 11 out of the 12 months. Bruce met Tim because he liked to come into the museum and take pictures of the museum exhibits and hotel architecture and shoreline which he would develop and give copies to Bruce. So he opens his house to this little boy with a penchant for photography. Until one day Tim’e parents call Tim telling him that they are staying in Egypt permanently because the archeological dig is producing wonderous results and they’ll be hiring him an around the clock sitter. Only for Tim to wait three weeks and no one shows up. They went so far as to fire Ms. Mac but never hired a sitter for their son. So he goes to Bruce in tears and explains everything, because this is it-his parents finally did abandon him, and Bruce sues them for custody of Tim. (Three years younger than Jason, adopted at 7)

Damian was the result of a relationship Bruce had in college while studying hotel management and hospitality. Talia is the daughter of a hotel conglomerate owner who is currently trying to buy Bruce’s hotel so it can be torn down and Ra’s can built a new hyper expensive hotel in its place. Damian was sent to live with Bruce to try and get Bruce to have Damian inherit the hotel so Ra’s can get it and destroy it, but that backfired because instead Damian falls in love with the hotel and his new family (reluctantly) and wants to see the hotel and museum flourish, not tear down this historical piece of architecture to replace it with a soulless hotel only available to the wealthy elite. But something available to everyone that families vacation to because there is so much history and beauty in a thing that has stood for centuries. So Damian turns against Ra’s. Due not that while Damian and Tim do have a sibling rivalry it is not as vicious and cutting as it is in canon. They love each other they just don’t mesh well while in the same room. And yes, Damian still has his variety of pets (7 years younger than Tim)

Cass came to the hotel with her “father,” David Cain, who went to the Cape for business, and just ended up leaving and forgetting Cass at the hotel. He was still abusive and Cass had trouble speaking but he wasn’t “turn Cass into the world’s greatest assassin” abusive. After Bruce finds Cass, he sues Cain for parental custody and then ruins his life unrepentantly. (Couple of months older than Jason)

After Martha and Thomas died, Alfred took over managing the hotel while Bruce was still growing up and while he was getting his degrees, now he is the grandfather to Bruce’s many kids and helps to keep them running and cared for while they run and care for the hotel. He’s also the one that helps the new kids transfer into the life of running a hotel.

Barbara is the daughter of the Police Comissioner still who became friends with Dick and works, first part time at the museum/hotel and then full time. Same with Steph and Tim (1 year older than Dick)

Cullen and Harper work at the museum, Helena works at the hotel. Carrie does both. Duke is the newest acquisition. Only, his parents disappeared and no one has been able to find them yet. So Bruce currently had temporary custody of Duke who lives at the hotel with everyone. (Harper is a year older than Tim, Cullen is a year younger than Tim, Carrie is the same age as Jason, Duke is a few months younger than Tim)

Each person has different jobs. (Dick is concierge/check-in, Jason does guided history tours of the hotel/museum/grounds, Tim works in financials because he deals with the least amount of people, Helena, Carrie and Steph are both maids, Carrie also does janitorial stuff with Cullen, Barbara works hotel check-in with Dick, Barbara and Harper work cashier at the gift shop, Duke doesn’t have a job yet because he is still dealing with the disappearance of his parents, Damian does every job to see where he fits in best.

JARRO IS THE FAMILY PET STARFISH THAT TIM ADOPTED WHEN HE FIRST JOINED THE FAMILY AND RESCUED FROM BEING EATEN OFF THE BEACH

The hotel is still fully staffed with not-batkids, like grounds keepers and other hotel cleaners and janitors.

Location time!

I’m turning Gotham nicer and changing the geography of the city.

The hotel Museum rests about 200 yds from a cliff that overlooks a beach. There is a well maintained stair case put into the cliff for people to walk down, as well as a longer gravel path that follows the cliff edge down to the shoreline. It is frequented by seals, sea lions, and in the distance, dolphins and whales. The hotel it’s self has about 100 or so acres of land and a long drive but it is technically within walking distance to the city. And it’s a normal coastal town with a port and touristic areas. Kinda eerie at night when the fog rolls in but that’s part of the charm of the NorthEast.

Selina is just Bruce’s friend in this. She is Helena’s mother and Bruce was a surrogate for her. She decided she wanted a baby and Bruce offered to be a donor. So Selina had Helena and Bruce is part of her life but not as her dad, which was the agreement. Selina takes care of the stray animals on the grounds and favors the cats.

Clark is a reporter that was tasked to right an article on the hotel and it’s history, became good friends with Bruce and brings his family (Lois, Jon, Bizarro, Kon, Kara, Lena, Chris, Ma, Pa, and Lex) on vacation to it every year. Lex and Clark are divorced husbands that left on good terms and are friendly enough to coparent their son, Connor, who was made the same way as canon but less hush hush and illegally, Kara is Clark’s cousin and Lena is her fiancée, Lois is his wife, Jon and Bizarro are their two biological sons (Bizarro has autism), Chris is their foster son. Bizarro latches onto Jason in a way that he hasn’t before and always loves coming to the hotel, Jon and Chris are best friends with Damian, Connor and Tim are long distance dating.

Collin, Maya, and Maps are Damian’s best friends from school (Damian has a crush on Collin) and he’s trying to convince them to join the hotel staff like his siblings’ friends but they are a) too young and b) not interested.

Roy has all of his problems as in canon and gets help for it, so as a way to try and bring the family closer, Oliver and Dinah arrange a vacation to the hotel for them Roy and Lian. As a stepping stone kind of thing. Get away from daily stress. Roy is resistant at first until he and Jason hit it off and start talking and Jason talks sense into him and they strike up a friendship turned romance.

The Flashfam visit the museum diring a countrywide roadtrip and mad the stop because Bart is a history buff and wouldn’t stop talking about it the entire trip. He becomes fast friends with Tim and is the only person to ever get a Tim Wayne history tour. No matter what Kon tells you he is super salty about it. Wally and Dick were internet friends and used the roadtrip as a way to be able to meet up.

Thad is the obligatory complainer who doesn’t want to stay in a musty old hotel.

Ivy is the main grounds keeper and is in charge of the native wildlife sanctuary most of the land is used for, as well as taking care of the native plantlife and lives in town with her girlfriend, Harley. Harley helps the kids prank Bruce.

Harley is a children’s psychiatrist hired by Bruce to help the kids deal with their various traumas. Her coming to the hotel for sessions is how she and Ivy met.

They started dating between Dick and Jason and Dick talks up each of them to the other, but each individual kid that comes in think they’d be cute together (since they are both professional while working there isn’t immediate proof that they are dating. But they will flirt with each other if they see each other) and it’s basically a right if passage to try and convince their siblings to help them get together and then try and set them up on their own and find out the hard way that they’re already together. They love seeing all the different way the kids try and set them up. They tend to go along with it until either the kids realise or they take pity on them.

Their favorite was Damian’s where he set up an entire romantic dinner at the hotel restaurant and Dick managed to slyly convince him to set it on a certain day that turned out to be Harley and Ivy’s anniversary.

Alfred is the head chef for the hotel, making room service meals and the breakfast buffet line up. Jason will help him out if he isn’t busy with other things.

Victor Fries and his wife hold an ice cream social ever summer at the hotel with all the ice cream flavors they came up with over the last year.

Edward Nygma, famous escape room designer, is hired to make an escape room themed on the hotel and museum that is built on the grounds near the main building.

Another ritual that starts, begins with Tim, where the older siblings convince the newest one that the hotel is haunted and Jason takes them on a “haunted ghost tour” of the abandoned part of the hotel (the part that is too dilapidated and run down to remodel safely) while the others are stationed at different parts of the hotel and grounds to run whatever scenario to scare the new kid. The only one that hasn’t been done to is Cass because even after several years she still jumps a little too hard at loud noises. But one time Jason accident closed a door a little too harshly while Cass and Tim were doing something and it caused her to jump so hard she knocked over Tim and started crying. They were contemplating whether she was strong enough to do it or not and that cemented that she wasn’t.

Tim and Cass are nearly inseparable and are commonly referred to as the Wayne Twins. For Halloween they decided to go as each other.

[i-did]

Ok ok this may be a dumb question but we'll see, what are your thoughts on bdsm + andreil? The vast vast majority of these types of fics have Andrew as the dom (and I get why) BUT theres 1 dom Neil fic and I'm like 99% sure I think I saw u comment on it so I'm assuming ur reading it and enjoying it too. And tbh, I find it much better than pretty much all the dom Andrew stuff, I hadnt realised the potential dom Neil could have until I read it. But anyway, I wanted ur thoughts? 🤲 (this is so badly phrased I apologise)

Lmfaooo being perceived is so weird. I hope I didn't say anything because I remember commenting on that fic and thinking about commenting something about my personal sex life, but I don't remember if I did lmfaooo. Omg okay, all that aside–time to now respond to this seriously.

Okay regarding that specific fic, yeah I read a lot of AFTG fics of all types, I haven't read something NSFW in a while, but when I saw the ‘Dom!Neil’ tag I decided to give it a shot. It’s interesting seeing how other authors go about their ideas and just enjoying their story. It doesn’t align with my personal ideas of everything obviously, but those are my personal HC and that fic is that authors personal HC. I like that they’re exploring something that this fandom doesn’t see explored a lot and is just a fun read, lol. Honestly I give up on most BDSM fandom fics because the depiction of Neil makes me uncomfortable ...almost always. I agree a lot more with this fics concept of how they would explore power vs control in a BDSM sexual sense, than most Dom!Andrew Sub!Neil fics– which I have long ago stopped trying to read.

Okay here are my personal ideas about Andrew and Neil, and how they would explore sex.

Many NSFW HC below the cut:

I personally don’t think canon Andrew and Neil would go into BDSM culture or ascribe to either roll strictly. I feel they wouldn’t like established dynamics like that and would get turned off by that aspect, especially since Andrew both craves control of situations but fears ‘being like them’ and a lot of Dom play is about power dynamics that he wouldn't be comfortable with. Andrew sees power in sex as different as control during sex. He needs a controlled environment, and be in control of the other by having them listen to his boundaries, but he can’t feel he’s overpowering the other person. I don’t think he could do a lot of strictly Sub things either for similar reasons, he would feel like he's giving up control of the situation in a way that could make him very uncomfortable.

Neil on the other hand is also often portrayed as a very textbook sub, but I don't think he is. I see him written as a brat a lot, but personally I don’t see him doing that since a lot of what playing with a brat is, is giving them what they want and denying them what they want and them ‘defying you’ and stuff. It's like a form of playful miscommunication I don't see Andrew or Neil ever actually doing. Obviously all healthy and proper play is outlined and discussed beforehand, but I see Andrew and Neil as needing the actions themselves to be clear and cut and dry.

Neil also gets off on Andrews pleasure, Andrew is the same about Neil, they're almost like a feedback loop of “the other enjoying themselves is inherently hot.” to me, Neil getting off on other people (Andrew) getting off is a very Dom like quality. In turn, Andrew is very turned on by pleasuring Neil, but from the point of his knees, which is almost sub like, he is turned on by sucking someone else off and seeing how into it they are. Either way, I think they both wouldn’t be into hardcore BDSM or BDSM culture but also aren’t vanilla. I don’t see either of them going to leather clubs instead of Edens and going to Folsom Fair and joining BDSM social groups and stuff.

I also don’t think either would ever use titles for the other, I think they don’t call each other by their names often on a day-to-day basis, since usually the people were talking to already know their name, and we don’t need to use it for clarification. I do think–just like in canon with emotionally charged moments–names will be used with more emphasis, especially Abram which is not used frequently.

Side note about my Jewish Neil HC: Judaism rocks because sex isn’t shamed, but rather considered a blessing and a holy act. In fact, it’s a good thing to have sex on Shabbat, G-d is actively like ‘fuck yeah you little humans, enjoy life’s pleasures and each other's company’ sex was designed to feel good and a way to connect. Shabbat is all about human connection with those important to us, and a day of rest away from work, so sex on Shabbat is actually actively a good thing. I don’t think Neil is ever religiously Jewish, but Andrew making a joke about this once would be peak to me. Which also fits Abram, a very Jewish name I HC to be not just Neil’s middle name but his Jewish name, and is used in said holy context of sex.

I think like a lot of healthy adults who are sexually active, they will explore and will be more adventurous to try new and other things, especially when dealing with issues like waning to get off but having touch aversion and issues like that. I have a lot of sex life HC about them actually, ways they navigate erectile dysfunction, mental health, and what they like in a safe environment. They trust each other, and I like imagining different ways aspects of their relationship would change or evolve in my head in all different types of ways, including sexual. I also enjoy giving them kinks and inclinations I specifically don’t have, because it’s like me exploring the concept of why someone else might like something even though I personally don’t. I’m not imagining things that make me uncomfortable necessarily, just things I'm neutral on or don’t see the appeal of, but know why they appeal to others and try to imagine what these characters might think.

I feel canon Andrew and Neil explore sex and dynamics that make them comfortable, I have HC about Andrew possibly exploring pup play and wearing a collar for Neil partially as a “joke” in the beginning, but discovering they really like it. I also HC Neil is really into athletic stuff sexually, he thinks Andrew half dressed with his padding still on and a jock strap is just peak sex appeal. I also think Neil is very sensory, and makes associations with smells and senses easily, so he develops a sweat kink, which leads into his armpit kink. Neil isn't turned on by ‘the bad smell of sweat’ but rather the fact that when Andrew is sweaty he smells like Andrew a lot, rather than after a shower he smells more like soap, and he can’t smell Andrew as much. Andrew on the other hand prefers cleaner sex. He’s not triggered by dirty sex though– he used to suck guys off at an alt dance club and is used to the smell of sweaty balls, it's just not an active turn on. Neil has ‘nothing is hotter than Andrew wearing running shoes and socks, and only running shoes and socks’ energy to me too. I think Andrew feels good about himself in leather, but isn't going to be a leather daddy and wear the leather assless chaps and the cap, he will wear the leather harness that every gay wears to pride, but he wears it just for Neil. Also, Neil loves Andrews pecs, Neil’s kinda a boob guy, but for Andrew’s pecs specifically.

I personally think Andrew and Neil typically don’t have penetrative sex. They do it sometimes–and when Andrew is ready he will bottom more as a way to prove something to himself than anything–but it’s not their preferred way or their ‘go to’. When they finally do, they don’t see it as ‘finally having sex for the first time’, since all the sex they've been having is real sex, even if its oral, hand jobs, etc. I don’t think Neil is naturally inclined to bottoming, and since even the visual of topping can make Andrew uncomfortable, they enjoy sex in any other ways, thigh fucking, docking, Andrew fucking Neil’s ass cheeks, sucking each other off, mutual masturbation, frottage, etc. and it leads to stronger orgasms when they don’t have to hope ever second will be a cliff edge and turn into a panic attack. Safer waters are simply more comfortable for them to swim in, and they deem all sex as equal in ‘value.’ that being said, Andrew likes his ass being ate, as long as its just Neil’s tongue, while Neil is neutral on his ass being ate, but loves doing it to Andrew.

I also think they would explore toys, but not in the way they're often explored in fics, which is very vibrator and dildo centric. I think they would use jacking off toys, the disposable egg kind or some more long term ones, maybe even something they could use at the same time. I don’t see them ever actually using handcuffs or restraints really either. Andrew would see Neil tied up as an equivalent statement of ‘I don't trust you not to touch me’ when he wants to actively progress past that, and shows he trusts Neil by not holding his arms back or letting him touch him. Andrew had to hold down previous partners, but Neil is different, Neil listens. This isn’t my personal opinion about restraint, but it is what I think Andrew would think.

I have no idea if this is what you meant by ‘my thoughts’ but here they are. *puts something in your open palms,* idk what emoji that would be

[firelxdykatara]

kitty i can't wait for your thoughts of Shadow and Bone asdfasfaw

Ok well I just finished and I have so many fucking thoughts. Most good! Some, less so. Part of it may just be my bias because I’ve only read the Six of Crows duology and have little interest in actually reading the original trilogy, because I know how it ends and Leigh clearly hates me personally and doesn’t want me to be happy (/j), so I was already predisposed to be far more invested in the Crows and Darkling/Darklina segments (genuinely, the Mal/Malina scenes/storyline bored me to tears, and while I appreciate that the show went out of its way to change Mal’s character to make him much less of a toxic douchebag [I’ve read enough excerpts and explanations of his actions in the books to really loathe book!Malina], it isn’t enough to make me ship them when Darklina is right there), but I also don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the Crows absolutely stole the show.

It’s actually kind of funny, because I’d assumed they were only being so heavily marketed to hype the show up even more, since while there’s a lot of TGT/SoC fandom overlap they are also two fundamentally different genres and I’d wager there are a lot of people who are massive fans of one but not so enthused with the other, while remaining fairly insignificant to the overall plot. Turns out, they make up fully half of the show’s runtime (much to my delight). Which is part of what I think will help this series stand on its own, both as a book adaptation and simply as a fantasy TV series.

I’ll put more of my story-specific thoughts under a cut, so there’s lots of show spoilers to follow!

I know that a lot of early reviewers were saying that Alina’s motivations and storyline revolved too much around Mal, and that really held true for me. It made sense in the beginning--he was the only constant in her life, she was thrust into something new, terrifying, and completely unfamiliar, and they’d developed an unhealthy codependence as a coping mechanism for their childhoods and the traumas they faced, the lives they lead growing up in a war-torn country. But she started coming into her power, falling for the General--not just his power and charisma, but what she felt when she was with him. The way he helped her summon the sun, the way she felt free in a way she never had before.

Until it all went to shit--but the Darklina make-out scene in episode 5? Fucking iconic. Poetic fucking cinema. The way they were quite literally about to have sex on that wartable (and someone better write fic of that moment, what if they hadn’t gotten interrupted), and the General left, but then he ran back just to kiss her one more time... this is what OTPs are made of ok.

I think what really bothers me overall is that Alina ultimately lacked agency in her one storyline, pretty much the entire way through. She did make a few choices, but they were mostly incidental, and a lot of it was Alina desperately trying to get back to Mal rather than seizing her own power and destiny and running with it. The most prominent example is the end of episode 5--Alina is having happy make-outs and almost bones the General in his own war room, and then he leaves, and Baghra comes in and infodumps to her about how evil he is and how he’s only using her and she needs to escape.

I recognize that a lot of this is probably because that’s essentially what happened in the book and Leigh is an executive producer for the show so she has a lot of shot-calling power. However, I really think that even in the book this plotline would’ve been better-served by having Alina make these discoveries on her own.

For example, imagine that the letters which were used as framing devices for episodes 2 and 3 were vitally important to the plot, rather than being one-offs that are mentioned a few times but not really affecting much of anything. Alina begins to get suspicious when she doesn’t receive word from Mal, and she starts wondering if her letters are even reaching him--so she starts snooping. She finds ashes in the war room hearth, late at night,, and recognizes a fragment of Mal’s signature and larger piece of her own. She now knows that someone--possibly the General, but maybe that creepy priest guy, or someone else in the palace--is keeping her and Mal from contacting one another. So she starts snooping around even more. She asks the General leading questions, trying to figure out what the truth is of his intentions. She still feels this pull--this connection to him, and she hopes she’s wrong, but she’s not willing to just sit around and wait for the other shoe to drop.

The Winter Fete still happens, she still gets the hot make-out session with the General, and then when he’s called away, she snoops through his papers, looking for anything that can tell her the truth. She finds a hidden compartment filled with journals.

She reads about Aleksander’s past (and, incidentally, wasn’t that supposed to be a huge moment in the books, him revealing his true name to her in private? kinda wish it had been kept that way in the show but who knows where they’ll go with it in the future)--that leads to the flashbacks in episode 6. She feels for him, but she also reads further--she gets a firsthand look at his desire for power, something that began as a noble desire to save his people, but was twisted by a lust for vengeance (for his lost love and all the Grisha who were killed) and shot through with greed, the realization that if he found the Sun Summoner he could control the Fold, rather than just destroy it. He could create a new world where Grisha could live without fear--where Grisha could rule.

Alina is terrified. Whoever the General used to be--whatever humanity she saw flickering in his eyes, the way his heart fluttered when they kissed--she can’t trust that it’ll be enough to save her from plans centuries in the making. So she goes to Baghra, the woman who helped her discover her power, learn to channel it--the woman who always seemed to know much more than she ever let on. Baghra gives her side of the story--Alina got it from the General’s perspective first, now Baghra is telling her something framed much differently. She isn’t sure what or who to trust, but she knows that Baghra seems willing to help her escape--but rather than trusting her ‘loyal Grisha’, she makes the choice she made in the show, to choose the other path, and winds up with the Crows.

Idk how Mal and the Stag thing would fit into this (if it isn’t obvious by now, Mal just... doesn’t interest me), but Alina’s story and her character arc would be so much stronger for it. And she’s supposed to be the central character, so her story being weak and her agency so frequently being compromised ultimately hurts the show as a whole.

I know I’ve gone on and on about Alina and the Darkling (look, I’m a slut for enemies-to-lovers, and also lovers-to-enemies-and-back, so Darklina and Helnik are where so much of my investment is rooted--plus Kanej, but that almost goes without saying), but the true standouts of the series were the Crows. Inej, Kaz, and Jesper, and Nina and Matthias in their episodes, stole the show (along with the Darkling, Ben is far and away the best actor in the cast and I love that for him, but Freddy, Amita, and Kit are also amazing, and Danielle&Calahan were fucking phenomenal as Nina and Matthias--I do have to say, though, that the whole cast is really solid and has amazing chemistry).

They worked together so perfectly--Freddy and Amita communicated so much with their eyes alone, especially together, and a whole lot of their relationship dynamic is rooted in how they exist together, which really came through. The show altered the Crows timeline considerably (I’m pretty sure Kaz would’ve been 14 during the original trilogy lol), so Inej is still at the Menagerie, but things like Kaz putting up the Crow Club for Inej’s freedom, the way Kaz needed her but could never bring himself to say it (until the end of the season dklhfgdkjfgh i SCREAMED)--the way Jesper played off the both of them, and it’s so obvious they all love each other even though they’re criminals and thieves and murderers, and Kaz would never admit it (out loud--which actually feeds into my theory that his love language is acts of service; Kaz does things for the people he cares about, he never announces it and he will almost always try to downplay it, but the way you know he cares is if, for example, he puts his entire life, everything he built, up as collateral for your freedom), but they’re a family.

One thing that I was kind of iffy about was Inej’s refusal to kill--but I thought it might be something they were planning to work into her overall character arc, and they did. It was the one line she hadn’t crossed--in the books, I’d imagine that it took a while for Inej to wind up at that point, being willing to kill on top of everything else. So I actually like that they worked that into the Crows plotline, and Inej killing for the first time was to save Kaz’s life.

Just like Kaz’s first selfless act was to save her.

(He’d deny it, of course. He protects his investments. He needed her for the job. But the truth is, he did it for her. And he’d do it again. Even if he’d never admit it.)

Meanwhile, Nina and Matthias’ storyline was pretty much note-for-note according to their backstory as it was revealed in Six of Crows, and I loved every second of it. Their chemistry was perfect, their journey from enemies to begrudging allies to friends to maybe something more (Matthias’ stomach cockblocking them when they were about to kiss had me fucking SCREAMING AT THE TV, and then of course the whole ‘betraying him to save him’ thing happened and I sobbed), and then suddenly right back to enemies.

Because from Matthias’ perspective, he trusted a witch--believed in her, liked her, wanted her--and she turned on him. He has no idea that she wasn’t the one who knocked him out in the first place, and no reason to believe her, because as far as he knows, she just confirmed everything he’d ever been told about Grisha. That they are deceitful and treacherous, would turn on you as soon as look at you, that they are dangerous and not to be trusted. It wasn’t revealed in-show but I imagine Matthias’ backstory is largely the same, which means that his entire family was slaughtered by Grisha when he was a young boy, and then he was turned into a brainwashed child soldier by the witch hunters and never knew anything else.

They are perfectly primed for their SoC arc next season and I, for one, am so stoked to see the rest of their journey. And if I slip Netflix a couple twenties, maybe they’ll let Helnik have a happy ending please please please.

Anyway, yeah! I have a lot of thoughts but things are still percolating in my head so I’ll probably float around the tags for a bit and let things settle. This is just a preliminary overview of my thoughts in the immediate aftermath of bingeing the entire show in one night kldfjghdkjfhgkjgf

EDIT TO ADD: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THE TRUE STAR OF THE SHOW, M I L O

MILO BEST BOY. MILO THE MVP. MILO DESERVES ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD AND I HOPE HE LIVES A HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND FULL LITTLE GOAT LIFE.

[seyaryminamoto]

I think it's kinda funny how for the most part Season 1 Iroh is very much a villain, but in Seasons 2 and 3 the writers try to make it look like Iroh is a kindly old man who can do no wrong. In the Season 1 episode "The Spirit World" Iroh gets captured by Earth Benders for what he did in Bing Sing Se. Iroh struggles to give a sincere apology to them for what he did in Ba Sing Se so I don't believe that Iroh was always on Aang's side from the start of the show.

... Wait a whole second now, my anon: did he try to apologize? O_o I don’t remember him saying anything that sounded like an apology xD

Yep, just went over the transcript and he didn’t say anything that suggested he wanted to apologize to the Earth Kingdom soldiers for what he did in Ba Sing Se. Which, in the end, just lends more credence to your claim that Iroh in Season 1 wasn’t the kindly old man the later seasons characterize him as.

This really just takes me back to my old analysis post on Iroh’s character being split in three parts. Book 1, in my opinion, doesn’t try to feature Iroh as a villain per se, but as comic relief with occasional glimpses at depth, but not quite the sort of depth you can 100% ascertain means he’s on the Avatar’s side or on the Fire Nation’s side. There are a few instances where it feels like Iroh is actually getting in Zuko’s way and hindering him in his quest to find the Avatar... but then once you reach Book 1′s finale, Iroh is outright telling Zuko he’ll help him nab the Avatar before Zhao can. Someone can obviously argue that he’s saying it for the sake of it, that he doesn’t really intend to help Zuko that way, that this is how he’s kept Zuko reassured that he’s his ally rather than trying to sabotage him... but it’s also possible he’s not bullshitting Zuko about helping him catch Aang before Zhao does.

The thing is, Iroh getting in Zuko’s way is mainly done for comedic effect. His every instance of sabotaging Zuko’s quest is turned into jokes, such as a whole episode of him trying to find his White Lotus tile and derailing Zuko’s journey completely for something that irrelevant... especially when the punchline of such a detour is that the tile was in Iroh’s sleeve all along. It’s very difficult to interpret these scenes as “villainous” Iroh because he has absolutely nothing to gain from getting in Zuko’s way if he’s not supporting the Avatar in secret. There are some moments, though I can’t fully remember them atm, where Iroh seems to be doing things to help Aang get away Zuko, so it puts forward the very commonly accepted theory that Iroh was actually on the good guys’ side all along!

Now, though, Iroh’s character did go through different stages across development, that can’t go ignored:

“Iroh was originally intended to be just a strict teacher to Zuko with a gruff personality; however, his character eventually changed to become his uncle and with a softer side as seen in the series.”

There’s a veeeery strong possibility that he only becomes what he does in Books 2 and 3 because that’s when they finally settled on a certain direction for his character, and that the strange ambiguity in his character throughout Book 1 is actually a consequence of them not being fully sure of how they wanted Iroh’s character to develop and turn out in the show’s endagme. I absolutely see a strong change in Iroh’s writing between Books 1 and 2, so it’s entirely possible he wasn’t always treated, in the writing room, as secretly conspiring to help the Avatar... but it’s hard to judge Iroh’s character properly during Book 1 because of how the narrative constantly oscillates between featuring him as full-blown comic relief and veeeery occasionally wise. I don’t really think they wrote him as a villain, outright and deliberately, but they did write him so vaguely that it’s entirely possible to take Iroh from Book 1 (perhaps up until he defies Zhao) and interpret him as a not-too-effective villain with a sense of humor, rather than a secret hero waiting to turn his back on his nation.

All this being said, the show was 100% determined to sweep Iroh’s very likely war crimes under a rug, and that episode from Book 1, forgettable as it may be for a lot of people, is a veeeeery important one in terms of offering us a glimpse not only at Iroh’s past, but at how the show virtually presents the Earth Kingdom soldiers as in the wrong for capturing Iroh. I’ll never get tired of bringing up a very strong and ironic parallel in that episode with The Chase...

Outnumbered by the enemy...

Feigns surrender...

Mercilessly attacks the enemy when they lower their guard...

All be it to stage an escape, to varying degrees of success.

I honestly don’t think there’s any morally acceptable reason to consider Iroh had any sort of excuse to fight back, injure or escape from those soldiers, especially if he regrets the harm he’s brought the Earth Kingdom. While, yes, someone might argue Iroh’s intentions towards the Earth Kingdom are no longer nefarious, his crimes are still very much real to the people who not only fought against him but suffered the actual consequences of his siege directly. 

At this point, you can 100% argue that what Iroh did is objectively worse than anything Azula had been shown doing, personally, up until the Chase. Was she 100% a supporter of her father’s regime and war crimes? Yes, she was! But she wasn’t directly responsible for actual war crimes yet, let alone war crimes on par with a six hundred day siege. At this point, Team Avatar + Zuko & Iroh just want Azula to leave them be, apparently: it isn’t a matter of capturing her to take her to justice. That’s what the soldiers did want with Iroh, and he not only escaped but by the last fight in that episode, him and Zuko definitely must have hurt several of the soldiers escorting Iroh to Ba Sing Se, not just the one Iroh burns in the scene I used for the parallel there. But somehow, Azula doing what she does is a sign of pure, absolute evil. When Iroh does this? Everyone just shrugs it off, turns the other way, pretends he’s entitled to fight back because he’s funny or because he supposedly learned better (not that we know for sure, as first-time viewers, that he learned better at all, at this point in time).

Book 1 Iroh is a lot sketchier than most people want to accept. The fact that we’ve got a literal play-by-play situation with Azula where Azula is 100% framed as morally appalling, down to Iroh calling her insane in the next episode as a consequence of her actions... when he did the exact same thing she did, merely one season ago? Again, there’s no way Iroh is more justified than Azula in what he did back in Book 1. He basically gets away because he knows Earth Kingdom justice won’t forgive him, and that’s that. How is that somehow morally acceptable? :’)

Aaaat any rate. I don’t really think Iroh was intentionally written as a villain, but I do think there’s some huge gaps in the logic of his behavior and writing throughout Book 1, not to mention some serious carelessness in the writing department if they actually intended to feature an Iroh who’s repenting for the wrong he did in his youth. That’s not the man we saw in this episode, absolutely not. It’s not even the man we see in Book 2, we’re actually meant to infer Iroh regrets his past and his mistakes because his entire journey of confronting his wrongdoings happened offscreen and we’re merely meant to take at face-value that it happened. Like I said earlier, it’s not impossible to read Iroh, up until the Siege of the North Part 1, as a morally dubious man who just so happens to make frequent jokes whenever he wants to. We see him giving Zhao moralizing speeches on honor when he (Iroh) broke the rules of an Agni Kai by stopping the fight before either Zuko or Zhao had been burned (how very honorable :’D), only to see him honorably injuring enemy soldiers with a very justified grudge on him in a later episode!

Basically, you have to pretend some things didn’t happen at all to trust Iroh was indeed a nice guy since day 1 of ATLA, supporting Aang from the shadows while enduring Zuko’s hysteric fits. I’m pretty sure, like I said earlier, that they only really unraveled what direction they wanted for Iroh’s character when Book 2 came along, and that’s why Iroh was not written with that same purpose in mind back in Book 1... which is why it’s relatively easy to interpret him as you have, anon.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.

updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!

I'm sorry in advance.

I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.

I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.

We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.

It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.

Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.

She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.

I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.

I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.

Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.

I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.

Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.

I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.

I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.

I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.

Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.

When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.

I had to remind them it's summertime lol

Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.

I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.

I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.

You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).

Also... uh.

I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.

My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.

Not saying you should do it.

But I did.

If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.

--

some other experiences sent to me:

anon #1

I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need

anon #2

I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.

I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.

A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.

My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.

Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.

anon #3

I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:

Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.

If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet

I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.

Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!

Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!

[louve-garoue]

Hi! For the aro asks, number 30 please?

Hi ! But of course !

30. Do you have any advice for anyone who may be questioning if they are aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum?

First remember that labels are chill. They're not a commitment. It's alright if you're not 100% about the one you're using. It's alright if you change label often to test. It's alright if you think a label doesn't fit you anymore even after using it for years. It's okay to change and to not be sure, if you pick a label you won't be stuck with it for life. It's also good to know that if you decide that indeed you are aromantic it doesn't mean you have to be an active member of the aro community, you don't have to be out, you don't have to fight our battle, you don't have to interact with the rest of the community if you don't want to.

Overall labels are tools. They're meant to help you build you're identity. To gave you confidence that your experiences are valid and even shared. To make you more confident in yourself. If you feel that calling yourself aro (or another label) is doing more wrong that right drop it. If they make you feel worse they're not doing their purpose, even if you think that you really are [insert label] it's still okay to drop it.

Alright now that this is done let's go on on how you can find out if you are arospec or not :

_look up at micro-label and general terms used in the community. Even if you think your either never felt romantic attraction or you are alloromantic (= not arospec). I say this because it might help to know what are the experience that comes back so frequently that people create a label for it. And like that you'll know more about what kind of experience are recognised as arospec experiences.

Here a a list of of ace terms and labels but they also have aro one and honestly replace "sexual" by "romantic" and any ace label has the potentiel to be aro label.

It's okay if no label seems to fit precisely. You can just adopt one that desribe you vaguely (aro in the general sense of the terms, quoiromantic, wtfromantic, etc) and if you're satisfied with it stuck with it but if you're not you can use it as a temporally solution until you find better.

_Now my first advice works only if you are fine reading through definition to learn somethings new. I am but I know it's not the case of the majority. Don't worry though there's other way ! You can try searching for aro's blog to read about their experience and other aro experince. Look at the joke, the complaints, the heartfelt story and see if they resonate with you.

_But all of this are kinda aimless search and would take time. So what you can do beforehand is to do a little introspection. What makes you think you might be aros ? What makes you doubt you can be aro ? Once you have an answer to those question you can go on more focused search.

_You can also Ask ! And if you can talk to Arospec Folks, it'll help. The best would be if you find a discord server for aro/ace (or just aro) and ask them here like that you'll have many input but I know that it can be hard to find and a little scary. Personally my ask box is always open ! If you want a second hand opinion or some clarification I'll be happy to provide !

And I think that's all. I don't think you'll have use for all of this but since I don't know what exactly you're looking for I'm writting it all. Good luck at discovering yourself !

[thejustmaiden]

Just bcos u PERCEIVE SessRin as something that promotes pedophilia and grooming doesn't mean that's how the author portrayed it. It's disappointing to see that antis force such idea, as if they know what's inside Rumiko's mind. It is fine if u find sessrin cringey. Just don't force your idea of pedophilia and grooming as THE CORRECT PORTRAYAL OF SESSRIN.

Hello there, nonnie! You had quite the party in my ask box, I see. Breaking it up in parts may actually help me get to the point and address your concerns swiftly and accordingly. Here goes nothing. 😉

This answer is for your first two asks by the way. Firstly, you're putting words in my mouth because I do not view Rumiko as an author who promotes pedophilia and child grooming and never have. She never once placed an ounce of romance into their scenes. Rin was essentially introduced to serve as a catalyst for Sesshomaru's character growth. That's major in and of itself, which is why I'm not sure why she needs to be the mom on top of all that she's already done for him. It was you, Sessrin shippers, who had to go and make it romantic, not us. It was you who took every innocent scene and turned it into a romantic one. You'll even use some of their scenes as proof they will end up together, then back-pedal later and say those very same scenes weren't romantic in order to protect the sanctity of your ship. I mean, which is it? It can't be both, it's either one or the other.

I repeat, NO we don’t actually think Rumiko wanted to portray this relationship with pedophillic or grooming tendencies. It's you shippers who insist there is no other way for their relationship to evolve, as if you speak on behalf of Rumiko. Your interpretation of Rumiko's work is what implies child grooming; she may not be condoning it but your perspective sure is. You talk down to antis who disagree, because in your opinion, your interpretation is not only superior but already canon in your eyes. You're doing a disservice to this fandom by spreading false information like that when you try to pass it off as official. So if it's anyone that assumes they know what goes on inside Rumiko's head, it's YOU. Somewhere down the road in the (un)foreseeable future, it's you who changes course since remember we were all in agreement at the beginning that their relationship wasn't romantic. So what did I miss? Please break it down for me and explain what exactly influenced you to change your mind, then describe in detail how again this transition in their relationship magically came to be. It's you who came to that decision on your own- nobody helped you get there, and certainly not Rumiko (as you said yourself). The user boycottyashahime put it better than I did, so here is the link to their post. I highly recommend you read it if you haven't already. I urge you to keep an open mind about it while reading, too. You may not like what they have to say, but there's no denying they make excellent points all the same.

I'm pretty sure I catch your drift, but can you clarify if you're referring to historical context or cultural context? I suppose both can be applied here. haha Anyway, from what I gather, you believe that fans should be on board with the idea of Sessrin and at the very least tolerate the pairing. Whether they ship it or not, you believe this simply for the fact that the story takes place in the feudal era and couples with a similar relationship back then were more than acceptable. The thing is, we may be transported to Feudal Japan in this story but we're still taking our modern day morals with us for the trip. I have a whole ass blog dedicated to the significance of fiction in real life (convienently pinned on my page) if you wanna check it out. I also discuss what age-appropriate content is and isn't for Inuyasha viewers in this recent ask here that I find is also pretty relevant to the convo.

Alrighty, moving onto your next point. I can't stress enough to you guys that this isn't a mere Caucasian vs. Non-Caucasian dilemma. I'm a POC, so I ask that you please not presume to know things about me you couldn't possibly know unless we met or I shared it with you. In fact, many of the other antis I frequently chat with are POCs like myself. So for all that's good and holy, please stop ignoring us when we say: THERE ARE FANS IN JAPAN WHO HATE THIS SHIP TOO. THIS ISN'T A DIFFERENCE OF CULTURE, THIS IS A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION (& FACT). It may have not been called child grooming during that time, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't; it just went under a different name, that's literally it.

Let me give you another example. So if I'm watching a movie about WWII in Nazi Germany, am I supposed to sympathize with an SS officer if the story is being narrated from his point of view? Because in his mind and during that time period, his ideology is right. Like a lot of Germany during that war, I rally to support his leader for what is in my opinion a just cause. Tell me, how does context matter in this instance? Does it matter so much so that you would adopt the same ideals just because it was "historically accurate" and you don't see anything wrong with it when you put yourself in their shoes? Does the "it's just fiction" defense come into play here, too?

The illustration I believe you are referring to is the calendar with that one official illustrator for Inuyasha, right? The thing is, an official illustrator doesn’t equal the creator of Inuyasha. They may support the Sessrin ship, but their work has no connection to the Inuyasha series in any way besides the name affiliation. I've heard that the illustrator also included Kagome x Koga art, so should we take that seriously then too? Rumiko never once alluded to a future romance between Sesshomaru and Rin, to which you even (kinda) agreed. She described their relationship as neither parental or romantic, and she added that she even contemplated making Rin a boy at first. Fun facts, y'all!

I've heard about those magazines but they sound fishy to me. Would you mind sending me a link to a reliable source that comes with an English translation? I'd like to emphasize again that illustrators or VAs can do and say as they please, but their opinions are still only opinions at the end of the day. Nothing is set in stone until Rumiko says it is.

For one, I never said my interpretation was the only correct portrayal. That's you putting words in my mouth again. What I did say, however, was that my interpretation was more logical and reasonable than yours based on popular and widely-accepted story patterns found in real life and in fiction. Look this isn't about who's more "correct" or not. You can perceive Sesshomaru and Rin's relationship any damn way you want, BUT what you cannot do is dictate how we react to your depiction of this ship. You can't demand us to view your ship a certain way to fit your preferences. I'm sure all the hate on your ship can be unbearable at times, but that's just the cross you'll have to bear for supporting such a problematic couple. If a large part of any fandom is strongly against a pairing and what it represents, then there's usually a very legitimate reason for that. You may not want to hear this, but certainly you must realize there's some truth to it all. A couple of your fellow shippers have even admitted to me that Sessrin would be wrong IRL. You see what I mean? Even if we find the ship gross, antis don't care if you choose to ship Sessrin. All we care about is you acknowledging that, like IRL, Sessrin potentially poses a lot of problems for young viewers and how they come to make sense of and view similar situations that are borderline grooming or the very thing itself. Teens watching this show are more vulnerable and impressionable, which is why it's crucial to not show relationships like Sessrin in a favorable light. If they're ever put in a situation IRL that resembles Sessrin, they need to be aware and understand that it's not at all normal or healthy for that adult to make a move on them. Let's say Sessrin does go canon, then that would mean Rin had to get pregnant around 14 or 15. Sending that kind of message to an audience made up of mostly teenagers isn't exactly wise if you ask me. Please really think about that and sit with it if you need to.

I'm positive I'm following the same story, thank you very much. Also, how can you be so confident making a statement like that when I have actual Sessrin shippers praising me for making valid points? Sorry to break it to you, but I don't think I'm as lost as you claim me to be or wish that I was.

That's a wrap, peeps!

Read over what I had to say again later and then get back to me if want, but only write me back if you plan to be respectful. Otherwise I will decline to answer. Just keep that in mind. And may I suggest only sending 1 or 2 asks at a time? Please and thank you!

I think I may know exactly who are, nonnie, but I can't say for sure. Besides, it doesn't really matter, as you have a right to stay anonymous if you so wish to. Listen, don't forget you are also more than welcome to interact (but appropriately) on my blogs/asks/etc. If you are who I think you are, then you recently did make a comment on one of them but didn't stick around when I replied back (and for good reason). Finally, if you hope to ever have a real discussion about this topic someday, first put your ego aside and refrain from throwing insults and then I'll hear you out. I have never once put you down in all of our interactions, so there's no need to show up here all riled up and aggravated in the first place. There's also no need to laugh at or mock other's opinions. Don't take jabs and assume I must not know something about Inuyasha just because I don't support your point of view. I may not agree with your opinion, but you don't see me having a condescending air about it.

Apologies if you're not the member I believe you to be, but no offense, you probably still needed to hear all of that too. It's not included here since I answered it immediately, but that final ask you sent me where you got angry and assumed I wasn't going to answer you was totally uncalled for. If you ever hope someday to participate in real discourse with me or any other antis, you should take my advice and seriously chill and learn how to be patient.

Hope this finds you well, nonnie!

[alexenglish]

Hello! Do you have any writing advice? I really like your descriptions and how you establish tone and characterization, so I would love some tips if you have the time to spare any.

HELLO! this made me really excited, I haven’t talked about writing in so long. so for me, there’s multiple parts to both tone and characterization. this may get a bit long, I apologize in advance.

tone is probably one of the first things that come to me when I get a fic idea. it’s how I want a fic to feel, the vibe of it y’know. I construct the fic around that specific feeling, and I want the dialogue and the action and the tension between the characters to align with that feeling. since it’s the foundation of so many of my fics, I don’t need to note it or even really think about it while I’m writing, but if you find that’s not an instinct for you, I suggest noting it in an outline or even just as you write (with a little comment or footnote) so you can make sure you’re holding that feeling as you progress. 

I really encourage editing while writing here, too. sometimes if I don’t feel like a scene is fully immersive or conveys the right feeling as I’m progressing, I won’t hesitate to go back and work a scene to death until it hits the beats I want. for me that’s more important than getting it all down and reworking it later, because sometimes you can change the tone of a scene if you stray too far while drafting. that can lead to a lot of wasted words if you have to excavate the original intention from scene after it’s completely written. (something I’ve experienced so many times!)

this is where a beta or first reader can come in handy, and what I use my beta for most frequently. another person can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses when you’re writing, ones that you personally can’t identify because you are the writer. you can throw the scene at a beta/first reader and ask them how it comes across as they’re reading it and compare that to how you want it to come across, and if you need to make adjustments you can do that! (and sometimes those adjustments are literally just adding in some mood words or adjusting the delivery of dialogue so it’s in line with your vision).

for characterization, I always think about what the major draws of a character are for me personally. what I pick up on when I’m watching them, and what endears them to me, and what about them I like in interpersonal dynamics. I also try to think about what characterizations are consistent to the group I’m writing them in, and what are individual characterizations that I think set them apart from the people around them. I usually write for awhile in a single fandom so it’s easy for me to have those types of things on demand in my mind. it’s a little harder when you’re first starting out, but over time you’ll call on your own personal headcanons more and more, and it’ll be second nature to write them into whatever you’re working on.

and for me, I’m not thinking about every single facet of a character while I’m writing them, either. there’s a lot of layers and some characterizations win out in certain fics and others don’t. usually I kinda subconsciously decide what I’m going to focus on for a particular fic (usually to fit the tone of the fic I’ve settled on!) so the fic I’m working on for example, I want it to be flirty and fun and a little rom-com-esque, so I’m essentially going to dump any heavier character observations I have about them because they’re unnecessary for that kind of fic. (maybe I will sneak them in though, and hint at them in passing to add depth, but it’s never going to be the focus). say I have a character and I have to choose main characterization beats to hit for them, so I choose their sassiness, their kindness, and their physicality -- and that’s what I think about while I’m writing them. and it’s just small things you know, I’m focusing on trying to wriggle in some fun dialogue and make sure they never come across as snappy and describe what their hands are doing. it’s really easy when you break it down like that. 

again, I definitely encourage noting this down in your outline, or doc, or note to your beta! I’m writing for a newer fandom and this is my note for my pov character in the fic I’m writing: ‘ditzy but not stupid, not oblivious to own feelings but the depth of them, keep everything on the surface until [kiss scene].’ I’m thinking about it when I’m writing, but I also have a note to refer back to and read obsessively while I’m trying to nail the internal monologue. and even that ties into my tone, where I said before I want a sexy flirty fic, what’s better than a ditzy and sweet pov character.

aside from that, it’s all about consistency for me. keeping everything consistent across the board as I write, maintaining the momentum of the feeling and characterization, and if a change going to happen, I usually always note it in some way by connecting my character to it through dialogue or internal monologue. (unless an abrupt shift is what I want for the readers. I think you can break any rule you have for style points or to bring a reader to a certain place like how abrupt changes in tone can help escalate emotional tension alongside what’s happening with a character, but that’s a whole other thing!) 

anyway! I hope that’s helpful and if you want me to expand on anything or clarify, please let me know. I’m cheering you on!

[palmett-hoes]

since the first step in achieving your goals is to state them aloud, here's a list of aftg fics/ au s that i'd like to write some day

- pre-canon fic from aaron's perspective spanning the twins' first meeting till they're drafted by the foxes and graduate high school. i'm increasingly enamored with aaron as a character as well as with an outside perspective of andrew's actions and i think it would be very interesting to look at the foundation on which their fraught relationship is built and first developed

- even more pre-canon fic. andrew's early life in foster care. yes, we all know about the most... gruesome things that were done to him, but i believe that there is plenty more that has affected and shaped him, especially in relation to my interpretation of andrew as an autistic poc. this would not be a happy fic.

- anastasia au. neil as anya, andrew as dimitri. possibly a plot amalgamation from both the animated movie and the stage show, with changes as i see fit. (no, neil is not the prince of russia). what i find most compelling about this au is the story of neil and andrew as childhood friends and then the angst of having andrew, as an adult, teaching an amnesiac neil how to act like a noble while being convinced that neil is an imposter. good shit

- art school/dance club au. the foxes attend the palmetto school of art at prestigious edgar allen university. they're considered the school's charity cases, and they are NOT friends. andrew is a studio arts major with a concentration in sculpture who works in the campus coffee shop in the mornings and frequents night clubs that employ pretty boys in the evenings. neil is attending college completely on his father's dime, PROVIDED he study what his father wants, despite his desire to study dance and music. going crazy without an outlet, neil takes a secret job as a go-go dancer. look. this may slightly possibly be a result of me having planned to party hardy this summer, then having my plans ruined by the virus :c

- 1950s High School au. the 1950s aesthetics fucking rock even though the 1950s fucking sucked. kinda wanna tackle both. plus, andrew already has that james dean bad boy fast car appeal

- an exploration of mary and nathan's relationship and history. i get that neil's parents are both super taboo and both really really awful people, but i have questions and i want to answer them

- neil never returns from baltimore. in order to keep his deals, permanently, andrew kills riko and tetsugi, and gets over 20 years in prison. when he gets out, he just wants to be alone, but it seems there's a ghost haunting him. this was conceived for MAXIMUM angst, no getting around it. i got the idea from a badacts fic and it has haunted me ever since

- post-canon sexuality exploration fic. i have a real passion for quality sex education and healthy experimentation, and neil very clearly didn't get the chance for either. yet at the end of the books he finds himself in a very intense sexual relationship. i just really want to give him the opportunity to find out how desire works for him and what he likes, on his own terms. i read a lot of fics where neil's desires seem to be completely dependent on andrew's initiaton, and while i do believe that andrew is the only person neil is attracted to and will ever be attracted to, i also want to explore how his sexuality manifests on its own. the vibe i'm going for is, uh, HornySweet (tm), but also with a lot of genuine eductional material. i want this is to be something that offers real information to its readers that may have been inaccessible for a lot of people, on topics like like sexual hygiene, maturbation, and sex toys in a non-fetishy way. this will be very very E rated, but like,, in a very earnest and goofy way because sex and sexuality is neat and cool but it's also not all serious perfect fucking. it's just,, a topic that deserves to be DISCUSSED

- mobster au. andrew, having never met aaron, takes a job for the moriyamas to track down a runaway asset. Neil. upon completion, they make andrew the butcher's apprentice, and pull neil back into the fold as a commodity rather than a person. lots of violence, lots of shady underground dealings, lots of plotting, lots of secrets.

i'm gonna put some more under the cut, ones that i don't feel as strong a drive towards right now or that i haven't thought as much about. if you (yes, YOU) like any of these, or are interested in any of these, or wanna hear more about any of these, or are even inspired to write something yourself by any of these please, PLEASE, say something in the notes, or send me a message, or an ask or anything. ANYTHING. i am stuck inside, all the time, and i am so, so lonely. i answer from hoob-gooblin

- princess bride au. come ON. princess bride is one of the most romantic AND most snarky movies of all time, and andreil literally invented love and devotion sooooooo it's a perfect match. "yes or no" vs "as you wish" kings of consent and communication and unconventional love declarations. also,, he may not be how I imagine andrew, but a young cary elwes in dramatic black pirate getup is DEFINITELY a valid andrew

- hozier au. sometimes,, i listen to an album, and imagine a fic that encompases the whole thing. nothing speaks louder to me than hozier's discography. (also, yes, i am gay). maybe a little bit inside llewyn davis. neil wanders through a small town and takes up some small jobs, but sings his heart out through twisted metaphors once a week in a hole in the wall bar staffed by a very short, dead eyed veteran

- prince and the pauper au. on a stealth recon mission in enemy territory, andrew encounters a local lord who happens to have his face. in a moment of desperation to save himself from arrest, andrew knocks the lord out and assumes his identity. he returns to the castle just in time for prince moriyama to arrive with a shifty-eyed, red-headed handservant in tow. lord aaron of columbia, meanwhile, wakes up on a ship manned by crown traitor and fugitive kevin day, calling him by a name he's never heard before, and then he's in the hands of the guerilla rebel forces that have been attacking the kingdom. i watched barbie princess and the pauper as a child and that movie fucking slaps

- little mermaid/beauty and the beast/bride of the rose beast/ladyhawke au. in a last ditch attempt to escape his father, neil trades his voice and his tail for legs and washes ashore on a small kingdom with horrible secrets. because he cannot speak, read or write, prince aaron employs neil to serve the monster in the catacombs, the prince's twin brother. the twins are under a curse that turns them into terrifying monsters, andrew by day and aaron by night. aaron's affliction is a secret, as is andrew's humanity. this is such a hodgepodge idea lol. did neil also have to be a mermaid for this to work? no. is he? hell yeah

- new york private school/twin swap au. aaron wins a scholarship to a prestigious school that will guarantee him a future, but then he relapses. convinced he just needs a little more time to get clean, he makes a deal with his volatile new brother, andrew, to stand in for him at the school just until he can his shit together. neil and ichirou moriyama have been raised together their entire lives, always under the knowledge that ichirou will inherit the family empire with nathaniel as his right hand. they hate the idea, but they have no way to escape, and now neil is being harassed by ichirou's bitchass estranged brother at their stupid, fancy private school. LISTEN, we as a fandom do NOT take enough advantage of the twin swap possibilities presented to us. pathetic

- post-canon fic where ichirou, realizing that the life of a mob boss is a lonely one, decides that he needs... a friend. however, because of the nature of his work, he can't just make friends with anyone, so he decides to make friends with neil. without consulting neil first. cue a lot of very weird, very awkward coffee dates where neil is convinced he's about to be disposed of, and ichirou just wants to know about his cats. the thing i like about ichirou is he’s a complete blank slate. i can make him a good guy, a bad guy, an ally, the Big Bad

- Kill Bill au. mary survives a bullet to the head and wakes up from a coma over a year later. with nothing left to lose, she sets out to single-handedly dismantle the wesninski circle. good thing she used to be its top assassin

- single dad andrew au. except look, look, stay with me here, okay, aaron is his son, and he's adopted nicky and kevin. LISTEN. STAY WITH ME. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. tbh the idea comes from my interpretation of the andrew/neil/kevin dynamic as distincly parental, then extending that interpretation to andrew's protection over the rest of his family.

- fashion au. andrew is a fashion designer and photographer who frequently works with allison reynolds. one day she brings around a short, twitchy assistant who looks like she just plucked him out of an alley. somehow, he becomes andrew's muse. i watch a lot of fashion competition shows

- ghibli. either howl's moving castle (andrew as sophie, neil as howl) or spirited away (?). maybe both idk

- legally blonde au. legally blonde is so good guys

[mydearestreaderfanfics]

In Your Arms (Lance x Reader)

Warnings: swearing, pining, angst (with a happy ending)

Word Count: 4,474

Prompt/Request: could you do a lance/ female reader with the prompt/senario "We've been best friends since pre-K, and now we're in college but things seem off, and I'm sad because I've crushed on you for years, oh damn you like me too?" kinda thing?? Best friends to lovers (while being pining idiots) is my jam

Summary: Lance and the reader have been best friends for longer than either can remember, but pining may just cause a rift in their friendship.

Author's Note: I've included a song for this anon, too. The song is the In Your Arms by the artist Kina Grannis. I hope you enjoy!

Author: Mod Alex

I shoved open my best friend’s bedroom door, not even bothering to knock, I hadn’t needed to in a long time. My cheeks felt like they were going to rip from how wide I was smiling. “Guess what?”

Lance looked up from his laptop, a simple smile on his lips. “What?”

I held up the plain white envelope I’d been hiding behind my back up until now. “This is what!” I was practically hopping in place. He set his laptop to the side, moving with grabby hands for it. “Uh, uh, uh! Move over.” He whined but flopped over allowing me enough room to plop down beside him. I slumped over so that I could rest snuggly against him before holding the envelope over both of our heads. “Take a look.”

“It’s from KU!” Lance grabbed your arm, shaking it (and by extension you) with excitement. “Well, open it already.”

“Yeah, yeah. You have no sense of suspense.” You really couldn’t blame him, he’d gotten his letter a week earlier and you had been just as pushy then. You flipped the envelope picking open the paper to reveal the letter.

“Read it, read it, read it!”

You smacked his prying hand away, snatching the letter before he had a chance to. You cleared your throat before speaking, mimicking a faux administrative voice. “Dear Ms. (Y/n) (L/n), it is with great pleasure- oh my god!” Lance beamed, grabbing the letter with one hand and hugging you tight with the other since you had taken to squealing into his chest.

He kept up the ridiculous voice you had been using as he picked up where you left off. “...it is with great pleasure that we inform you that you have been accepted for admission to Kerberos University. Congratulations, (N/n).” He must have set the letter aside because after a moment you felt his other arm come to hold you tight. You relished in the feeling. You two had always been this affectionate, after all, you’d basically grown up together, but sometime around… say seventh grade, your feelings for him had gone from closest friend to friend you wanted to be much, much closer with. So lying here with your ear pressed firmly to his chest and his heart beating steadily with his arms wrapped securely around you was both everything you could possibly want and absolute torture at the same time. You wanted nothing more than to be able to lean up and kiss him, this was the perfect opportunity to, but you couldn't and so you forced yourself to be content with lying with him. And in the meantime, you didn’t have to force yourself to be happy to go to the same university as him.

-

Realistically speaking the place you'd managed to rent was off-campus and you two would be sharing it with several other people, but your daydreams still took place with you and him in domestic fluff before heading to class and dipping in and out of the house throughout the day. Can you blame a girl? Even if your daydreams were a bit of a stretch from reality, you couldn’t say you were unhappy. Being able to wake up to a post-it note on your oval mirror from Lance wishing you good luck on a test or reminding you that you are fantastic. Cute little things that would send the butterflies in your tummy on a frenzy. The best thing about the shared house, though, was being able to have sleepovers with Lance basically every night. One of you was always falling asleep in the other's room, so much so that you basically shared two rooms- not that you were complaining.

Like this morning, you woke up to the light shining on your face. You groaned quietly in protest before letting your eyes flutter open when the bright annoyance refused to leave. The stars on the ceiling were the first thing you saw. You admired them for a moment, they were the kind that was common in children’s bedrooms- the glowy kind. They weren’t glowing now, it was too bright for that. They were still pretty, though. The stars also meant that you were in Lance’s room, specifically in his bed. It wasn’t abnormal-- like you'd said before you could usually be found here with him and vice versa. You turned, peeking at him from the corner of your eye. He looked beautiful, his features soft and unburdened. It was enough to make your heart thud in your chest. His arm was draped over your midsection, not necessarily holding, but not, not holding you either. You let yourself relax in his presence. “Mmm, good morning, gorgeous.” You blushed, having not expected his flirting to begin this early in the day. It wasn’t real flirting, of course, as you’d reminded yourself countless times in the past, it was just his flamboyant personality.

“Morning yourself. How’d you sleep?” He whined in response, burying his head on your shoulder.

“I’d have slept better if I got to sleep in longer.”

You laughed. “Lance, it’s almost noon.” Just as you had said, the digital alarm on his bedside ticked again, showing the actual time to be 11:48.

“But it’s my day off.” He kept whining and you couldn’t help but chuckle again. It was your free day too and as nice as laying in bed with him was, you had no intention of wasting your one free day by not going out.

“Tough, buddy. Come on-- up and at em’. I’m taking you to breakfast-- er, I guess technically lunch.”

“Oh? Are you asking me on a date, (N/n)?” His voice lilted teasingly. You socked him in the shoulder, glad he wasn’t looking at you to see how flustered his comment had made you.

“Tch, you wish. But seriously hurry up, I’m hungry.”

-

Lance got up a little while later giving you the opportunity to get ready. The restaurant was a short walk away and was decently cheap (which was good as you planned on paying for both of us!) which was part of why Lance and you frequented this place. The other part was how good their food was. Many study nights had taken place at your humble little hidey-hole.

You two were lucky, though, since it was your free day there would be no studying. Instead, you could sit and enjoy people watching, with good food and even better conversation. Lance's comment stuck with you though, and though you had been quick to write it off, a part of you deeply wished his joking had been true-- that maybe deep down he really had wanted this to be a date. God knows you did. By now the waitress knew your orders, a testament to your frequent visits here. "So what are your plans for the day?"

"I thought you were calling the shots?"

"Haha, you're a free man. You only came cause you wanted food, not because I dragged you here." You stuck out your tongue in a playfully childish manner. He returned the gesture before you both burst into laughter.

"You have a point, but I'm serious. I want to spend my day off with you, so whatever you have planned, count me in." Your heart was making its attempt to pound out of my chest, the butterflies not far behind. You just hoped your blush wasn't as obvious as it felt.

"Well, in that case, you get to spend your day off going with me to the thrift store."

"Oh? Spontaneity or refurbishing?"

"Yes."

"I'm in."

"You don't even know what we're doing."

He beamed at you, "I don't have to. I like surprises and I know it'll be fun since I'm with you." He's too sweet, you could practically melt.

"Alright, sweet! Then after we're done here, we can head over."

-

Lance had attempted to protest when you paid for breakfast, but eventually, your stubbornness won out, as it generally did in your friendship. You drove your way to a little hole in the wall thrift store that you went to whenever you had a little extra cash on hand. It wasn't as popular as the Goodwill the next street over, but the two ladies who ran it were as sweet as can be and they always had secret gems that you were sure you wouldn't be able to find anywhere else. You'd found an antique chair that, after a quick varnish and reupholstery, was quick to become your favorite chair. Or the time you'd found some beautiful curtains that, while they wouldn't quite fit your window, made for the perfect fabric for a dress. You didn't plan on going for any furniture, save for a nice full-length mirror that you'd been on the lookout for. No, while that had been your original plan for the day, you had completely changed course now that you were in the company of Lance. You wanted to have some fun. In the parking lot, you explained the game to Lance.

“Okay, so the way it works is we both have a budget of ten dollars and we have to create a full outfit for each other. I figure since we’ve known each other since forever it should work better since we know each other's style. And don’t be an ass, since there’s somewhere I plan on going later with you in these outfits. What do you think?”

He grinned at you, “Sounds fun.”

You split up once you got into the shop. Occasionally you’d sneak glances at him and he’d stick his tongue out at you and tell you to stop peaking. You’d laugh and tell him you just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to make you look ridiculous. Of course, you knew he wouldn’t, he had a better sense of style than most of your friend group combined. Thankfully you were familiar with this sense of style and had already taken to curating an outfit for him. You’d been here dozens of times so you knew just how to find the perfect deals and the most eye-catching pieces. So far you’d found a Nasa shirt that would make a nice contrast to a darker jean jacket you’d found. You wanted to find a nice pair of light jeans to balance it all, but so far you hadn’t had any luck. It was as you perused the aisles of clothes and did the mental math to figure out just how much more you could spend when you saw them-- the most perfect pair of light blue acid-washed jeans you’d ever seen. If they hadn't been exactly Lance’s size, you would have considered buying and tailoring them for yourself. At this point, you figured you could stop but you still had three bucks left and the shoe aisle was calling to you. ”Oh, well aren’t you perfect,” you mumbled to yourself as you found a pair of boots, a pair of knockoff Doc Martens, that looked exactly like a pair Lance had loved before they wore out not long ago. One of the ladies called you over and you obliged her, you wouldn’t ring anything up until after Lance had tried everything on just to make sure everything fit right, but you had no problem with chatting with her until Lance had finished.

“Oh, dear, I think it’s so cute that your boyfriend and you are doing that-- what do they call it Maggie?”

“Goodwill Date Night, love.”

“Yes, thank you hon. I think it’s so cute that your boyfriend and you are doing that Goodwill Date Night and at our humble shop no less!”

You squeaked, trying to shake your hands to tell her, no, but they were full. “We aren’t, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s just my best friend, I just thought it would be a fun thing to do. It’s not like that, Ruth.”

She giggled to herself. “Alright, dear whatever you say.” She turned to Maggie and they talked like two schoolgirls sharing in delightful gossip. You sighed, walking over to the dressing room where you and Lance planned to meet, it was as you walked there that you found on a rack of hats a grey and white striped beanie. It was still a little chilly out so it wouldn’t be terrible to wear temperature-wise, and it polished off your ten bucks leaving you with no more than measly chump change.

A few minutes later Lance joined you, he was grinning but it didn’t meet his eyes. Something was wrong. “Lance are you ok-”

“Here you are! Oh are these for me, you shouldn’t have!” He took the bundle of clothes from you like a child on Christmas, and yet it didn’t feel right. He had just cut your sentence off, something he never did. Just as you were about to comment on it, he bounded over to the dressing room. Worry gnawed at you, but there wasn't much you could do with him in the dressing room. Instead, you took your clothes and went into the dressing room next door to Lance to get changed. It was the perfect outfit, you’d expected no less, of course. The jacket he threw in fit you like a glove, and it was just light enough that you knew you wouldn’t overheat. The cute pair of shoes he'd picked out for you somehow even managed to be comfy!

“You ready?”

“You know it!” Both of you left your respective dressing rooms.

“Yay! The jacket fits! You’re out here looking like a full course meal, Lancy.” You spoke playfully, though you meant every word. He didn’t respond, and you looked up at him to see he looked, well, starstruck. He seemed to realize you caught him and he shook himself out of it.

Yet, when he spoke his voice still had certain awe to it. “You look, you look stunning, (N/n).” Your eyes widened for a moment before you broke your gaze from his, refusing to make eye contact, afraid that if you did you would do or say something to tarnish your friendship, but god, if you didn’t want to kiss his beautiful face right now.

-

Lance continued to be strange throughout the rest of the evening, although he agreed to keep by your side for the rest of the day as he’d originally told you. Keeping up with the theme of spontaneity, you decided to try another thing you’d always wanted to do but never had the guts to ask Lance on a real date to do it. So a should-have-been date was now a platonic outing with your best friend, even if you still really wished it was a date. So after adorning your new outfits, you began your “penny date”, a concept where one person chooses a number between ten and twenty, symbolizing how many times a penny is flipped, heads for right and tails for left. The penny is flipped when you arrive at a junction and by the time you run out of flips, you have to find something for a “date” at the location. Although Lance was still being weird and a little distant, much to your growing concern, he did seem to enjoy the idea. The game had led you to a little arcade where you and Lance spent the rest of the night playing various retro games and ate more pizza than you’d like to admit.

“It’s getting late, should we turn in?” You two were in an uninhabited corner of the arcade, not that there were many people, to begin with.

“Mmm, maybe. Just a few more games?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, instead of laughing or play arguing like he usually did, he looked away, and you swear you could see the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Yeah, we can stay a little longer.” You took his hand, it would eat at you forever if you didn’t find out what was bothering him. His head snapped up, eyes fixing on your intertwined hands.

“Lance, please, I know something is wrong. You’ve been acting off since the thrift shop. I thought maybe I was imagining things, but I don’t think I was. You can talk to me, you know? Did I do something to upset you?” His other hand had come up to hold your cheek tenderly.

“No, no you didn’t-- I’m the one that messed up.”

“Hey, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He shook his head sadly.

“I did.”

“I don’t understand.”

“(Y/n).” Was it just you or was he leaning closer as he spoke? “It’s because.” Your eyes started to flutter shut, he was going to kiss you! “I like-”

“Sorry to interrupt but we’re closing. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Lance and you shot apart as if you’d been burned.

-

That had been almost a week ago. That night the drive home had been filled with a suffocating awkward silence. Since then it was like Lance had been avoiding you. Honestly, at this point, you didn’t know what to do. Your friends had even begun to notice your mopey behavior. A knock sounded at your bedroom door; you had yet to get out of bed today and you weren’t about to now. Whoever it was could just go away. When no other knock came you thought whoever it was had left, and then the door opened. If you had the energy to you’d groan in exasperation. “Oh, (N/n).” The hint of anger you had harbored at the intruder melted away as your friend Hunk sat beside you on the bed. “When was the last time you got up?” You shrugged as best you could while lying face down. “What happened? Did you and Lance have a fight?” His comment made you wonder if Lance was being weird with the others. You supposed it was if Hunk thought you had fought. You shook your head. He got up and you assumed your noncommital attitude had run him off too, but a moment later you felt him sit again. He began brushing your hair and despite your whines, you settled down quickly. It felt nice and you were sure you needed it. He hummed, filling the mocking silence with warmth. “Can you sit up? If not that’s okay, it would just be easier to braid it if you were sitting.”

“Okay.” Your voice was croaky from lack of use, but Hunk still smiled encouragingly. His fingers carded through your hair with ease and when he finished he pulled you into a hug. You broke. Tears that had come and gone in solitude now poured freely down your cheeks as Hunk shushed you. “I don’t know what I did. He hates me now, Hunk. I don’t know how to fix things, I just want him back.” You blabbered, words blurring together. Knowing he couldn’t do much to fix anything, Hunk just rocked you until your sobs subsided. When they did you pulled away from the hug.

“So you did have a falling out?” He spoke carefully, afraid you might fall apart again.

“That’s the thing, I thought we were okay. The other day we were going out to a couple places and after the thrift shop he was being strange and then....” You sighed, hugging yourself, taking a breath to steady yourself. “And then I thought maybe he was going to kiss me and we got interrupted and it’s been even worse since then. Whenever I do see him he acts as if nothing happened but he won't stay around me any longer than five seconds. It’s been a week, Hunk. I’m dying.”

“You said the thrift store?”

“Yeah?” Hunk gave an exasperated sounding laugh.

“(N/n), things are going to be okay. For now, I need you to trust me on that, okay. There are muffins downstairs, fresh. You should go eat. I’ll be back before dinner.”

“Wha-- Where are you going?”

“I’m fixing things!” He called out as he left.

Although a big part of you wanted to lay back down and mope, you needed to work on the schoolwork that you’d put off and... the muffins did smell good. Nobody else was home, so you felt a bit better about leaving the security of your room. After a couple of muffins and the first round of schoolwork, you took a quick shower and put yourself back together. You still felt destroyed but at least now you looked like less of a wreck. You’d taken to studying at your desk in your room by the time Hunk got back. It was much earlier than he had told you, still hours before dinner. “(N/n), you look much better.”

You sighed, “I tried to do what you asked, but I still feel like a raging dumpster fire.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile, “I figured. But I’m proud of you for doing this much. I need to ask you to do one more thing, though.”

“Oh?”

“Can you go meet Pidge at the library, she needs back her copy of some textbook. I don’t remember which one, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck like he did whenever he was embarrassed.

“Oh, um, sure.” You wanted to ask how the fixing was going but you didn’t want to seem pushy. Besides, you could always ask him when you got back, you guess.

-

You got to the library which was thankfully only a short jog away from the parking lot. You pulled out your phone to shoot her a text asking where she was when you didn’t automatically see Pidge. Almost instantly you got a message telling you that she was in a study room. You smiled knowingly, it was typical of Pidge to reserve a study room all to herself for days on end. You trekked that way, keeping an eye out for the room number she said she would be in. It was at the end of the hall. “Hey, sorry for keeping your textbook for so lo-- Lance?” Lance was reclining in one of the chairs; he had almost fallen when you entered.

“(Y/n), what are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting Pidge, to return her textbook. What are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting Hunk, he wanted to try out a new recipe and said he was coming from the culinary building.” Your eyebrow furrowed. What was he talking about? Hunk was at home. It registered then, a light-bulb moment indeed. You’d been had. You turned to leave, but the doors slammed in your face, Pidge’s voice calling out from behind it.

“Sorry, (N/n), I had to do it to ya.” She snorted at her own meme reference. “You guys need to talk through things. I am not spending another second watching you two lovesick fools mope because you each think you ruined your friendship.” You flustered, she really was just gonna expose you like that.

“Pidge, you can’t just lock us in here-” Lance was beside you now, banging on the door.

“Actually I can, and I did. I’ll be back in an hour.” True to her word, Pidge’s footsteps faded away despite Lance and your protests.

You slumped at the door while Lance paced the room like a caged tiger. Watching him stabbed at your heart until you’d curled in on yourself, fighting off a fresh wave of tears. Did he hate being around you that much? What had you done? Lance noticed your disposition, his concern quickly switching from the situation to you. Within moments he was at your side. You were so confused, for a week now he’d been acting like he wanted nothing to do with you and now he was at your side trying to console you. You must have said that out loud since Lance has stopped all of his ministrations to eye you with guilt. “(N/n)-”

“Lance, can’t you just talk to me? We’ve been best friends since pre-K, but it’s like you want nothing to do with me.”

“It’s not that, I swear to you. It’s… It’s actually the opposite.”

“What?”

“I’ve crushed on you for years, honestly at this point, I’m pretty sure what I feel for you is more than a crush. Back at the thrift shop that day I heard you talking with the shop owners. You made it pretty clear my feelings aren’t reciprocated.”

“You like me?”

“Yeah, and I almost kissed you and ruined our friendship and I haven’t been able to face you because I know you just see us as friends, and I don't want to ruin that, but I just-- I can’t want that. Not anymore. I want to go on silly dates with you like that and wake up next to you and hold you and kiss you and just be able to know that I’m not an idiot for falling in love with my best friend-- I… I’m sorry.” He turned away from you, mortified at spilling his heart out.

“Lance.” You took his hand, but he still refused to look at you. “Lancy.” Your voice was soft, tender even. “I like you too. I have for a long time, like a really long time. Why do you think I took you out on that excursion. I mean jeez, I haven’t exactly been subtle.”

“But you told the ladies-”

“I was flustered and to be fair we weren’t dating.” He looked even more embarrassed if that was even possible.

“I am so sorry.”

You shook your head. “You have no reason to be. We could have handled that better sure, but,” you shrugged, “everything turned out right in the end. I guess we owe Hunk and Pidge our thanks. Although I do wonder how he found out about the thrift shop...”

“I may have told him my woes.” You chortled at his embarrassed mumble. You wiped away a tear from laughing to see Lance holding open the arm that wasn’t occupied by your hand. You practically flew into his arms. You stayed cuddled in each other's arms like that for a good long while after all Pidge said she was going back in an hour.

Bonus:

That night, Lance had taken to cuddling you in your bed. You’d been joined at the hip since that afternoon when Pidge had come to free you. Your friends were happy to have you both happy again and were quick to remind you that you owed them, although they were mostly jesting. You didn't mind much either way. Lance was officially your boyfriend, your greatest wish come true. At the moment he was almost asleep, happily tucked in with you when you spoke. “Wait so you mean to tell me that we could have been together for a lot longer?”

“Well, damn.”

[clownhara]

I've been following you for a while but I dont know all that much about your OCs so how about a big resume of them all?? :DDD

I haven't really posted much about them on this account until recently so that doesn't really suprise me 😅 but yeah I absolutely can! Warning though this is going to be unbelievably long

I guess I should start off with Zensuke because he is THE gay purple cat. I named this blog after this guy. I made him when I was probably like 12-13 or around there so he had all the things you'd expect a repressed edgy kid's of to have. He was basically a demon who managed to get out of thier world's equivalent of hell and instead of doing anything evil he just made cake and got married to the guard who was supposed to kill him. I don't really do much with him anymore but I still love him very much.

Corbinian is probably the character I talk most about and he's the one I edit to fit into different worlds the most. He was a normal doctor but he got his memory wiped by robots and ended up working as an executioner for the robotic mafia, but eventually got caught and had to hide out in Lobotomy (he was originally a Lobotomy Corp oc) where he discovered he can extract abnormality dna and with some altering the dna can be injected into humans causing a variety of different mutations and effects. He's usually very heartless and manipulative, but does have a soft spot, usually for anxious, soft spoken people, who subconsciously remind him of his brother (who is a friends if so I can't really get into him). He also was given a variety of nicknames by the higher ups, like Corb, Corn chip, Corb on the Orb, or just Corn. Je

Corble is the result of Corb trying out human cloning. He has the same general appearance as Corbinian, but with purple hair (hence the name, because he's porble corb) that's styled differently. Since the experiment was technically a failure Corb was going to kill him, but Corble was really sweet and innocent and Corb basically went "well great guess I adopted my clone then". Corb stopped messing with cloning but adores Corble.

Might as well get all of my Lobotomy ocs out of the way. Oliver is the first Lobotomy oc I ever made, which is funny because I may or may not constantly forget that he exists. Oliver is basically a five year old kid in an adults body, and I mean that literally, because his parents basically locked him in a room and ignored him so his mental age is basically that of a kids. He's very mischievous and loves pulling pranks on people, most of which are harmless. Unless it's Corb, whom Oliver gates with a passion. Then it's thinly veiled murder attempts disgusted as pranks. He loves Fairy tales, and only works with fairy tale abnormalities because he panics with any other kind. Only one person in the entire facility can even put up with him, and that's Mabel.

Mabel is trans lesbian who can find the good in almost anyone. She's optimistic, bubbly, and has a great sense of humor. She tends to get really flustered around women though. Is it obvious I kinda projected onto her a bit? Because I did. If she wasn't in Lobotomy she'd definitely be a streamer. I'm just now realizing I basically made snapcube before I knew who that was. Whoops.

Up next is Adam! Adam is quiet, nervous, and honestly just prefers to not be noticed. Their ability to almost seamlessly blend into thier surroundings is astounding. Most people (me included) tend to just forget they exist. Which honestly is funny because they end up dating the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. Adam loves horror movies and spicy food.

Kieth is the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. He's the adopted son of a sephirah and the leader of the Rabbit team so that much is unavoidable. He's quick to anger, blunt, and tends to underestimate other people. However, he's also loyal to a fault, and willing to back his friends up no matter what. He feels like his mom's are expecting him to live up to expectations that he can't (and that they don't have but he doesn't realize that), so he's constantly throwing himself in harm's way to desperately try to prove to them that they made a good investment by adopting him or die trying. His two passions in life are collecting weapons and tending to rabbits, two of which he managed to train to sit on his shoulders and attack people. Despite being total opposites he loves Adam very much and will endure any horror movie with them, even if he's a huge scaredy cat.

Damien doesn't gave that much development, unfortunately. He came from a very religious household, moved out, and frequently gets possessed by an abnormality who makes him act like a cryptid. Totally normal stuff. He also went to law school.

Zephyr is a very, very serious individual. They've got a completely monotone color palette, speak either in short, blunt sentences or long, fanciful paragraphs with no in between, and tend to come off as cold and stiff. They're completely devoted to work, which is how they managed to become a captain. Despite this, they're very kind and caring, but unfortunately rarely get to show that side of themselves unless it's with Jamison, thier partner, both in crime and in the romantic sense. They also have a love/hate relationship with Owen, basically openly hating his guts but also enjoys thier banter and would hate if anything genuinely awful happened to them or his family.

Jamison is the complete opposite of Zephyr. He's an open book, very colorful, and tends to slack of when Zephyr isn't looking. Not on purpose, he just tends to get distracted most of the time. He's quite popular because he's very cheerful, which is rare in the higher ranks of Lobotomy. He'd absolutely die for Zephyr, and us usually the one who patches thier wounds. He really doesn't like Owen and thinks thier a pain in the ass, but keeps that to himself most of the time.

Owen is..... Interesting. I kinda went buck wild with him not gonna lie. He's one of the oldest son's of the God of Nightmares and Fire, an absolute agent of choas, and a campy fashion nightmare. But... I love them. They're both unbelievably obnoxious and also very caring. He's the kind of character you'd love but also hate at the same time. He also ended up becoming the God of Death in one timeline. If he wasn't God they'd probably run makeup guru/cursed amsr YouTube channel. Honestly he'd still run those as a God though. Also gender is a toy store and Owen is a kid who broke in after dark and is running along pushing all of the assorted genders into a cart while laughing maniacally (they use any pronouns but I stuck to just he/him they/them for this little snippet)

Alright, Lobotomy ocs done. Up next is.... Ugh... Octavious. He's originally a Danganronpa oc, the shsl gossip, and he was made to be a villian and by God does it show. He's the most fake, back stabbing, two faced character I've ever made. He's also the most one dimensional, which was actually intensional. He has no personality beyond being a petty, lying bitch, so when he runs out of lies and rumors to spread he goes into an existential crisis about how he has virtually no identity until he makes some new lie up about some random person. He's also abusive towards his younger sibling Aspyn, whom he has both physically and emotionally scarred. And, the icing on the "fuck this guy" cake, he's incredibly obsessive over his "wife" Melissa, who wants nothing to do with him and never even dated him, let alone married him. Basically he's a horrible, lying, abusive stalker. He also dresses exclusively in eye burn pink since the most poisonous bugs are usually brightly colored. Fuck Octavious, all my homies hate Octavious.

Next is Melissa, who honestly wasn't much better before her arc. She was raised to believe that in order to truely succeed in life, you have to ensure others fail. She, unfortunately, took that advice to heart. Get arc consisted of learning that we all can succeed together and that actively fucking other people over just made her an awful person, so she changed her behavior and tried to help people from then on out. She's incredibly meticulous, organized, and really smart. She still has issues trusting, but she's getting better. She has a crush on Octavious's younger sibling, but absolutely despises Octavious.

Aspyn is a quiet, caring individual who has no confidence both due to Octavious and just how they were raised. They are an incredibly skilled doctor, however, managing to perform amazingly in several different fields. They are, however, very defensive about thier passions, quick to insult anyone who questions them, mainly due to Octavious. They have a huge crush Melissa, but is to afraid to ask her out. Also they wear an eye patch because Octavious messed up one of thier eyes.

Hooo boy where to start with Edward. He's really inconsistent between universes, but the main constants are his power (he can trade bodies with people), him and Max getting together, him being a huge bookworm, and somehow he usually ends up being my self inserts dad???? Hos other aspects tend to change. Sometimes he's a power hungry megalomaniac who's trying to take over the world and will crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way or isn't useful to him, using his power evily to stay young forever by trading bodies with his kids and killing them when they're in his body. Other times, he's a fairly calm, if not a little cold, man whos biggest crime is the occasional tax evasion, who's power is more of a curse, causing him to stay alive forever through a series of unfortunate coincidences. Either way he's fun to write

Max is one of my favorite characters. He loves baking, his friends and family, he isn't too bright but no one holds that against him. Unfortunately, no matter which side of Edward it is, he's hopelessly in love with him, which can lead to his downfall. He's very protective of his cousin Heron, and tries to protect the innocent, which he usually doesn't end up doing thanks to evil Edwards manipulation. I also somehow failed to mention he's a plant man and flowers sprout wherever he walks and he can control plants but I couldn't find a good way to fit that in naturally.

Heron is half a plant man, in the worst possible way. He has rose vines instead of blood, which feels exactly how you think it would. Magic keeps his alive luckily, but it's unbelievably painful. Most of him and Max's family died when they were young, and unlike Mac who ended up on the streets, Heron ended up in an orphanage, where he learned at a young age that he shouldn't get close to anyone because if he does, they'd die. He genuinely believes that, and the only person he thinks is immune, is his cousin Max, who he even still expects to drop dead. Heron mainly fights by breaking his skin so his vines will grow rapidly and trap and kill his attacker, which looking back is uh. Kinda symbolic. I didn't do that on purpose but it fits

Eden is an angel, who was outcasted from heaven after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. They don't understand how humans work, but is trying thier best to fit in. He's one of the few beings Heron trusts, and even still Heron doesn't trust them much because of Eden's ability, being able to control holy flames. Eden is stoic and aloof, with an odd sense of humor. He insists that him baking using his holy flames is a form of training. Despite them claiming to be above human emotions, they very much are not above them and he is actually quite emotional.

Avocado is one of Herons old friends, who fell victim to Herons "luck" (aka they died). They are a drider (basically spider centaur) who came from a large family of drider thieves. They are very quiet and kind, which they use to thier advantage, since one would thing they'd steal small objects from people's houses or pickpocket them, which Avocado very much does. While they're fairly weak in combat thier thieving skills are not to be underestimated.

Grape is Avocados older sibling, and they are very serious and quite rude. Grape wants to kill Heron to avenge thier sibling, but ends up getting caught robbing the wrong person and ends up having to join the person's kids adventuring party.

Apple is the oldest drider sibling, and ends up taking a motherly role for all of the younger kids. They had to grow up incredibly fast, and has to make all of the hard decisions in place of thier dying father. Desperately needs a break.

There's more spider siblings but there isn't much info on them

Both Sherry and Theodore Poser are mainly just there because I have them really fun designs and don't really have a personality. Sherry's kinda hard to draw though