#also this made me look up the english word for that flute and that was entirely different mindfuck I wasn't expecting

[spoonyglitteraunt]

I like Purah's new design, but I do have one question

Devs, why is she holding a recorder???

[puddle-nerd]

Eternity

Summary: You had already been his love. Now was just the ceremony to make it official to everyone else and the bonding at the Tree of Souls afterwards.

Prompt #13 for my submission for #𝐂𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬𝟏𝟒𝐃𝐎𝐋𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

Story Tags: No use of Y/N, Female Reader, Female Recombiant Reader, Omatikaya | Blue Flute Clan, Na’vi Culture, Na’vi Biology, Na’vi Language, Established Relationship, Wedding Ceremony, Wedding Night

So far, the other posts have been rated G or maybe PG if you squint. This one is going to be for mature audiences with a steamy scene towards the end. I will clearly mark it so you know where it picks up in maturity levels. However, we’ll also be covering, at least a little, the Omatikayan wedding ceremony of an Olo’eyktan and while the reader isn’t going to be Mo’at’s replacement, it was touched on that the Tsahìk and the Olo’eyktan don’t always have to be married; it just usually happens that way.

This is also meant to be a part two of Lean on Me but at least a year, to a year and a half later. Spider is a little older, our reader has made the soul transfer into her Avatar body permanently, and now she’s getting married to the love of her life.

I also stole a couple of @eywaite’s phrases from at least one of her Tumblr posts, which you can see in the translation below.

Na’vi Translation: Irayo, oeyä’itan – thank you, my son ⁂Kalin – sweet to the taste⁂ Kuru – neural queue Mowan – pleasing/enjoyable (physically, sexually) Muntxatan – husband | male spouse ⁂Oh, ma Eywa! Kehe ftang – Oh, Eywa! Don't stop⁂ Olo’eyktan – clan leader (gender neutral) ⁂Rutxe nìtam, new oe nga – enough please, I need you⁂ Sa’nu – mum | mom | mommy Sempu – dad | daddy ⁂Syor – relax⁂ Tsaheylu – neural bond made through the connection of two neural queues Tsahìk – the spiritual leader of a Na’vi clan, and the most important member next to the clan leader Yawntutsyìp – darling | little loved one

AO3 Link

Part 1

Part 3

You knew he didn’t quite understand why there was going to be a celebration for you and Tsu’tey today, though the little boy did understand the word ‘wedding’… kind of… being all of four-years-old because he knew you and your beloved both had promised and often reiterated that pledge to love him unconditionally and take care of him and raise him up together as you had been doing into a man of honor of The Omatikayan People no matter what trials and tribulations you all might face. And you did. You loved Miles “Spider” Socorro as if you yourself had given birth to him. And everyone within the clan certainly knew Tsu’tey adored the child if the Olo’eyktan continuous doting was anything to go by. You figured it would also take Spider some time to understand that your consciousness would no longer be bouncing back and forth between two bodies, having been there to witness your second rebirth from the circle of Trudy’s arms as you transferred yourself permanently into this body about a fortnight prior in preparation for today. You smoothed down the front of your beaded loincloth and Spider’s little, cherub face showed that he was clearly pleased to see you finished getting all dressed up in your beautiful new finery behind his oxygen mask, his grin so bright it could rival the sun, making grabby hands towards your towering, sapphire skinned figure. You automatically picked up your adopted son into your thin, striped arms and held the young child against your front, pulling the small boy in so you could rub your blueberry-colored lips through his freshly washed curls, the ones that weren’t tamped down by the straps of his mask. He giggled at the ticklish feeling and squealed, “Sa’nu!” Even after a year of him calling you that, it still made you light up with a beaming smile. You chuckled at his protest and pulled back, smiling down at the little human boy fondly. “~You look beautiful, Sa’nu~!” Spider gushed in English, leaning forward, and tugging on your woven chest covering and peering at the glittering stones you had painstakingly threaded together to make your wedding ceremony attire. “Irayo, oeyä’itan,” you replied softly in the Na;vi language as you and Tsu’tey agreed to have a bilingual home. You glanced up at Mo’at and Neytiri as the two other women came into view within the Sully matriarch’s kelku where you had come to get ready for your wedding. “And thank you,” you told the older female Na’vi happily, “for washing up this, little terror for me.” You tickled your son’s side, laughing at his answering squeal of delight. “Unfortunately, I give it an hour before he’s waist deep in dirt or mud again.” Mo’at chuckled and trailed a finger down Spider’s back with a fond smile. “He knows to behave for his grandmother. Is that not correct, little boy?” Spider agreed, nodding emphatically, and beaming up happily at Mo’at from behind his mask. Across the hut, Neytiri’s pointed ears flicked back as she took in you and her mother cuddling the human child, even now still a little angered by his constant presence within her village and what he represented (especially with his heritage) but not willing to spoil your day. Or, more accurately, Tsu’tey’s, since she was more his friend than yours. And for that, you were thankful, especially since she was getting close to expelling her second biological child’s chrysalis from her body soon and you didn’t want to upset her and cause her to push out the fetus early and disrupt its growth. “It is time,” Mo’at announced, and you nodded. Looking at your son, you announced, “Time for your Sempu and I to officially get married. Ready, baby boy?” He squealed with glee, clapping his hands.

𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸

Tsu’tey was a vision that you couldn’t draw your eyes away from. Colorful beads – brighter and more elaborate than his everyday yellow and red carved wood – decorated his dark braids in a multitude of dyes. Bright feathers of bright greens and honey-yellows had been pushed into his hair into what almost resembled a crown. His battle belt encircled his trim waist, his dagger at his hip and a brand-new loincloth of bright red brushed his thighs, green and honey-yellow embroidery decorating the hem. Upon his chest, four painted handprints in different ochres coated his skin, one from either of his parents, one from his younger brother, and one from his grandfather. Woven armbands of those same bright beads encircled each of his lean biceps and his familiar choker necklace sat around his neck. His last gift from Sylwanin. You felt no jealousy at seeing it, no; instead, you were pleased he was honoring his first love as she had given you her blessing when Tsu’tey had brought you to the Tree of Voices before he had asked you to mate with him and she had hinted that had she survived, she might have happily been in the union with you.

You blushed at the memory of her teasing but intertwined your hands with Tsu’tey’s as Mo’at presided over the proceedings to officially bind you and the Olo’eyktan.

Tsu’tey’s parents stood behind him, arms raised in blessing to Eyway, though they didn’t actually look pleased with his choice of bride. Jake stood behind you as your parents weren’t on Pandora, nor would they ever be, his arms also raised in blessing as Toruk Makto. And Spider, not to be forgotten, stood as tall as a four-year-old could between you and Tsu’tey, a chubby hand raised high on either one of your shins, which had caused a few chuckles when he had escaped Neytiri and come to join you all. Before all of the clan, you and Tsu’tey exchanged vows to honor, protect, and love each other even after death until Eywa was no more, promising to remain steadfast and faithful during both good and bad times and to never give up on each other. Spider agreed full heartedly to more chuckles. Jake and Ateyo, Tsu’tey’s father produced cloths of green and gold and red and tied of your and Tsu’tey’s palms together after a cut was made on each of you, your blood mixing together as it would, should you eventually decide to have biological children, in the future. Then, Arvok, Tsu’tey’s younger brother who had been stood behind his parents, produced both a drinking gourd and a small loaf of bread, which you and your groom shared, having to placate your son when he wanted some too. Your muntxatan, your husband – Tsu’tey was now your spouse, you thought gleefully – the beautiful, wonderful man that he was, gave a small bite to the young boy with a grin, cheeks coloring slightly as you beamed at him, eyes becoming shiny with happy tears.

Finally, your union was sealed with a kiss and the Tsahìk concluded the wedding rites, the clan erupting into loud ovations, cheering and whooping noisily.

It was a bit of a blur after that.

Feasting and dancing and kissing. Those you remembered… partially. And lots of congratulations sent yours and Tsu’tey’s way. Spider was fed, eating from both your meal and your muntxatan’s and eventually taken off to bed in the nearby shack specifically made for him to be close by for your and Tsu’tey’s benefit by an amorous Trudy and Norm who had promised you both to make sure the four-year-old was watched over for the night. When the moons were at their highest points, you and your love slipped away to head to the Tree of Voices for the last step.

Giggling, hand-in-hand, you went together under the lilac glowing tree and sighed, kissing and touching upon each other in chaste ways, though you knew it would become filthy shortly. He led you to a secluded little alcove and pulled you down onto your knees, his breath washing over your face as he took you in.

“You are so beautiful, Yawntutsyìp,” he whispered to you before leaning in nuzzle his cheek against your own, marking you with his scent. “And you are all mine.” You nodded, rubbing against him in turn and breathing in his scent deeply, trying to tattoo it into your senses and never let him go. Then his lips turned towards you, and he kissed you, softly at first before the hunger set it. Then, he seemed set to devour you, his tongue plundering your mouth, his sharp teeth nibbling at your lip, his hands grasping tightly at you and not wanting to release you. But you were just as bad, moving your mouth from his and down to his neck, nibbling, kissing, and sucking upon his skin there, determined to leave marks for all to see tomorrow and feeling yourself get wet as he panted and moaned for you, fingers greedily digging into your hips and thighs. When you began to massage him through his loincloth, feeling him harden beneath your five-fingered touch, his control began to snap. “Yawntutsyìp, rutxe nìtam, new oe nga,” he begged.

You chuckled to yourself and pulled away from him, pouting as he desperately pulled your chest covering away, a few of the strands breaking and the beads scattering over the ground in his haste to bare your skin to his gaze, only to whine as his lips secured themselves around one of your nipples.

You moaned his name and allowed your fingers to busy themselves with removing the feathers from his braids as he suckled upon you like a babe trying to nurse, his teeth skittering the edge of your nipples and sending little thrills of pain-pleasure through your senses. When there was no more plumage to remove from his scalp, your fingers trailed down his striped back to the base of his spine and your gently wrapped your fingers around the base of his tail. He stiffened as you found a cluster of nerves there and pressed ever so gently, causing his cock to pulse where it pressed into your leg.

“Syor. I have you,” you teased him.

He nipped at your nipple in response before lowering his body further down yours and making short work of your own loincloth and baring you to his gaze entirely. He growled, hungrily, “Mowan, yawntutsyìp.” He lowered his mouth to your cunt and licked up the seam of your lower lips and groaned. “Kalin… better than anything I have ever tasted.” He then gently delved two fingers inside of you, feeling your inner walls contract tightly around the intruding digits as he lapped at the sensitive bud above and set a deliberately slow rhythm to tease you and heighten your need. Your hips began to rock up into his touch and his tongue, forcing his other hand to press down on your hip and restrict you from bruising his face. He chuckled at your needy whine. “Syor, yawntutsyìp. I have you,” he threw back at you.

You flipped him off the human way, earning an eyeroll before he began to suck on your clit.

You came quickly after that, his fingers curling in just the right way to have your torso going rigid, toes curling as your orgasm washed over you like a wave at the beach. Your jaw went slack and your mouth opened with a blissful moan as you rode the waves of pleasure that radiated from your core at Tsu’tey’s behest.

The male Na’vi eased away from your lower half and then leaned over you, enticing you to kiss him and taste yourself upon his tongue. You moaned and clung to him with one hand, the other working him free of his loincloth. He was hot as the center of a roaring fire and as hard as stone in your hand. He groaned as you stroked him and silently begged you for mercy, nipping at your lower lip. You spread your legs further and guided him to your entrance. He slid his cockhead agonizingly slowly against your core, gathering your wetness and coating himself with the proof of your want for him. You met his gaze and nodded, drawing one of your legs over his hip and slotting him where you needed him most.

The air punched out of your lungs as your cunt stretched to accommodate Tsu’tey’s girth, a groan escaping you as your slick, tight heat enveloped his thick cock. “~Oh, fuck~,” you whined, accidently slipping into English. “~So big. Give me a second. ~”

Tsu’tey smirked, chest puffing up slightly in masculine pride, even as he rolled his hips to ease himself slowly but surely further inside of your channel. Balancing on his elbows, he buried his head into your neck as his pelvis finally became flush with yours, your slick dribbling out of you and down his balls, reveling in the bliss of being connected with you in such a way and allowing your body to get used to your intrusion. When you began to move beneath him, he carefully slid back a bit before driving back inside of you. You gasped at the sensation, better than anything you might have felt with a human. Perhaps it was because he was so big. Or maybe it was because you truly loved him. You met each of his thrusts with a roll of your own hips, soft cries coming from your throat as your pleasure began to mount again. You grasped onto his back and accidently scored his back with red welts when you raked down his spine, your core pulsing where they were joined; you knew your orgasm was fast approaching.

Your muntxatan’s breaths were harsh by your ear, his hips wildly shoving into your as he neared his own end. You felt incredible, pleasure coursing through your veins like pulses of fiery heat and you could feel the coil inside your belly building a climax by winding tighter and tighter within you.

You locked your ankles at the small of his back to deepen the angle, crying out, “Tsaheylu, please. Oh, ma Eywa! Kehe ftang and make tsaheylu with me!”

He grunted and jerked his head to bring his kuru over his shoulder. Reaching for yours, the pink tendrils seemed to strain towards one another and then your pleasure doubled, and you climaxed with a cry, head thrown back, face contorting into a scream of ecstasy, your core squeezing the cock within you like a vice. His hips faltered and he came within your walls with a burst, a groan spilling from his lips as he shoved his pelvis as tightly against yours as possible, his seed discharging within your depths in thick spurts. You could feel his pleasure echoing back at you and shivered as he nestled into your side, his arms giving out finally. With sweat soaked limbs, you snuggled your face against his forehead, kissing him between the eyes and panting heavily as your orgasms ran its course.

“We are now one,” Tsu’tey whispered, his breath fanning over your breast. “We are mated before Eywa for all of eternity.”

You giggled, teasing, “Can’t get rid of me now.”

𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸

Originally Posted: 13 February 2024 Word Count: 2,268

@crybabies-heart, @cryingwhilereading, @ikeyniofthetayrangi, @erenjaegerwifee, @bambithewriter, @lloreya

AO3 Link

Part 1

Part 3

[the-avengers-ate-my-tongue]

Don't Blame Me (Smut)

Summary: if there's one thing that makes Hannibal Lecter lose control, is rudeness.

Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x reader, past Alana Bloom x reader (mentioned)

Warnings: Smut!

English is not my first language, if you see any mistake, let me know! It came out a little different than the ask cause I just don't see Hannibal losing his shit like that hahahahah I hope you like it anyway, anon!

Word Count: 2277

It's common knowledge that one must never miss a Lecter soiree. 

Always one of the most expected events of the year, I was lucky and even grateful to be invited. I've known Hannibal since the years on Hopkins, he'd always been Alana's interesting acquaintance, one I never thought I'd catch the attention of. 

Turns out we have more interests in common than I originally thought. He's a skilled artist, so am I. We both enjoy opera, and love to play instruments, mine being mostly flute and oboe. I could still hear the angelic sound of the harpsichord being played half an hour earlier. Impressive how his fingers glided through the keys, how effortlessly he recorded complex tunes to entertain his guests.

"I missed the days that sparkle in your eyes were directed to me" Alana's jest ringed in my ears, making me jump a little. She chuckled. "Look at you all jumpy. Relax, Y/n. He didn't catch you staring."

"Shut up, Lana" I shoved her playfully, sipping the red wine. "Do not get me started on Will Graham and those puppy eyes. He's staring right now, you know. You should give the poor man a chance."

"Okay, I got it. I won't meddle in your affairs anymore."

"There is no affair." I wish there was, I thought to myself, taking another sip of the wine while I eyed Hannibal from afar, talking to an older woman dressed like a peacock. "I…"

"I noticed your glass is nearly empty, so I fetched you another one" a familiar voice came from behind me, and the glass was abruptly removed from my hand and replaced with a fuller one. I contained my desire to roll my eyes once I saw who the intruder was.

"Frederick. Were you also invited or just crashed the party to feast on good things for once?" I teased, narrowing my eyes while looking at the director of the general administrator for Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. 

"My dear Y/n, I wouldn't dream of it. Of course I was invited. Moreover, I would avoid all this meat if I were you. You never know the provenance, if you know what I mean." He lowered his voice, coming closer and almost whispering in my ear. I could not help to actually roll my eyes this time, turning to face him. "I am, after all, restrained to low protein meat, that is."

"You still believe that silly theory that Hannibal is the Chesapeake Ripper? Please, Chilton. I never deemed you to be clever, but this is plain stupidity." I allowed the alcohol to make me more straightforward, chuckling on my words.

"Sticks and stones, little Y/n. Sticks and stones." Chilton teased, stepping away and going to bother someone else with his presence.

"For god's sake, the man is a burden" I whispered to Alana, who cracked at the comment.

"He has always been like this, you know that. I don't fathom why you always allow him to get under your skin."

"I've known Frederick for longer than you, Lana. Believe me, if you give that man a hand, he will most certainly grab your arm, shoulder and everything else you have to offer. Now, if you excuse me, I shall mingle a little bit more before the dinner actually begins. His interaction gave me a sour taste on my tongue."

I clicked my glass to Alana's, walking around the room and chatting to some people. Uninteresting conversations filled my ears and fake smiles made my lips start to tire out, but as soon as Hannibal's chocolate eyes were on me, I felt my entire demeanour change. 

An idea occurred to me as I walked straight to the balcony, hoping he would join me. The night breeze engulfed me and I realized how trapped I was feeling inside that house, with those judgy stares and meaningless conversations. My wine glass remained untouched as I placed it on the strong wood porch, contemplating the cloudless sky.

"Tired of the good old socialization already?" I grunted when I realized that was not the voice I longed to hear, turning back to face Frederick.

"Careful, Chilton. One might say you are stalking me. As far as I remember, that's still a crime." I crossed my arms to show how much I unappreciated his presence, stepping away until my back was against the balcony.

"Come now, what have I done to deserve so much animosity? We used to be colleagues, friends if I dare to be so bold."

"An old dog with difficulty dropping the dry bone he was once given. Are you really that starved, Frederick? That's pitiful." I was aware of how indelicate I was getting, but he was starting to bother me immensely. "If there's one thing you are not, it's bold. Arrogant and extremely annoying, yes. Can't stand to hear a loud no? That checks, too. One must always let go of the past if we wish to evolve. God knows I have."

He dismissed everything I said with a slight wave of his hand, getting closer. I could smell the faint scent of whiskey, imagining that, after the loss of some of his organs, he probably would get drunk much easier. He tried to reach me with his free hand, but awkwardly dropped my glass, causing it to crash a few meters down. 

We were alone and a little far from the other guests. The balcony's door was closed shut. I felt my hands start to tremble a bit, and realized I had to get out of there before things could get out of hand.

"Seriously, Frederick?" I snarled, rolling my eyes. "Playtime is over. Let me through, I'm getting out of here."

"Y/n, I…" he held my wrist with considerable strength, making me gasp. I tried to pull away but he was strong, and before I could snap and finally throw the punch he deserved, a low, deep voice echoed.

"I believe you heard the lady clearly, Dr. Chilton." There was a different gleam in Hannibal's eyes, and I wasn't the only one to notice. Frederick turned paler, letting go of my wrist with haste. "I think you should go. You've had too much wine, I see."

He hesitated, but agreed with a nod, leaving the balcony without looking back. Hannibal stared at him through his shoulder darkly and I released the breath I was holding, my knees would have given out if Hannibal had not held me discreetly, supporting my weight with an arm around my waist.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" He inquired, one hand lifting my face so I could look at him. I was so embarrassed. "Do you need a place to rest?"

"Not at all, Hannibal. Do not worry about me, it was just a fright and the wine. I cannot steal the host of his guests."

"Nonsense. Come, I will take you to the guest bedroom. We can enter through the kitchen, so no one will see your state. Please" he pointed to the other door, showing that there was no space to argue, and I just surrendered, allowing him to guide me through the vast kitchen filled with employees working to the elegant guest bedroom, shutting the door behind us. 

I sat on the comfortable mattress, appreciating the shades of cream and white, and the beautiful vintage-like furniture that seemed to complement the place perfectly. I realized then that Hannibal had fallen silent, and I stared at him with worry. He had turned his back to me, leaning on the dresser, breathing a little heavier.

"Hannibal?" I called, getting up and walking towards him, reaching out with my hand on his shoulder. His face was impassive, but he had that same look in his eyes again, something ancient and darker that wides his pupils and pierces his lips tightly.  I allow myself to reach deeper, caressing his strong arm and feeling the muscles tense under his suit. "What is it?"

"He dared to touch you like that" he pointed in a cold tone. "Like you are someone else's property."

My eyes softened as I felt some butterflies in my stomach, and I took the liberty to grab his chin, kissing his cheek tenderly in appreciation.

"Forget about Frederick, he is immature and arrogant. I will call him tomorrow to address this matter."

He still had that predatorial look in his eyes that gave me shivers, though not the way it should. Something in being that much protected by him made me feel dear and precious like an exotic pearl. 

He would not give in, and I felt bold enough to once more kiss his handsome face, this time on his jawline, near his left ear. That caught his attention, and he towered over me, cradling my face with his enormous hands, making my eyes tremble with the feeling of electricity that flowed through my veins. With no hesitation, his lips crashed against mine, and I moaned into his mouth, the hunger for him making my loins combust. 

"I have wanted this for so long…" I murmured against his neck, his fancy perfume invading my nostrils. He smelled so good. 

"As did I, Y/n. You have been in my thoughts a great deal lately" he confessed, making me blush. Impostor syndrome trying to kick in, I avoid the self-degrading thoughts as I delight in his open mouthed kisses in my skin, gasping in pleasure when he lightly bites my shoulder, enjoying it more than I ever thought I would.

"Your guests…" I tried to be reasonable, a dirty smile playing on my lips.

"The dinner will take a little while longer, I'm afraid" he whispered in my ear, nibbling on the lobe with a mischievous deep chuckle. He lifted my dress to my waist, since we didn't really have that much time to spare, and I got rid of my panties, almost tripping on them with my heels and the rush. 

His hand went to my core, testing how wet I was, and he smiled with how soaked I felt. A loud moan echoed through the room and he removed his hand at once, lifting one finger at me as he would chastise a child. I frowned with frustration, lifting my chin to face him.

"We are not supposed to be too loud, Y/n. You do not want the guests to hear us, do you? Imagine the scandal" that made me laugh with pure bliss, nodding in agreement. "Are you going to be a good girl?"

Oh, fuck. Is this really happening?

"Yes. Yes, I will" I agreed in haste, and he effortlessly lifted me up, sitting me on the dresser and starting to unzip his pants. I tried to control my breathing and anticipation, pleasuring myself with the vision of his hard cock, precum glistening at the tip. He massaged it with his hand for a few seconds before he towered over me, holding my hips in place while he entered me so painfully slowly I nearly sobbed.

To avoid the loud moans, I bit my left fist, suppressing the sounds as my insides clenched to accommodate him. A joyful smile illustrated his lips, his hair falling over his eyes due to the sweat, and he looked like a Greek statue. I could not avoid the mesmerized stare, melting in admiration, as he leaned to cover my lips with his own one more time, his tongue exploring my mouth like he was famished. Still slowly, he started to move his hips, almost both torturing and indulging me at the same time. I entangled my legs around him, pulling him closer to the point one could swear we were one. He moaned my name, followed by an almost savage growl that sent vibrations through my entire body and, for a while, I regretted how little time we had. He seemed to sense that, rushing his movements until the dresser started to hit the wall and, for a moment, I was certain everyone outside could hear us. 

So much for discretion, I thought, grabbing his broad shoulders while he inserted himself deeper and deeper inside of me. His thumb began to stimulate my clit and, sensing I would begin to cry out at any moment, Hannibal silenced me with his lips, allowing me to moan against his mouth as I felt the tension start to build up in my lower abdomen.

I felt him pull out his cock, replacing it with his skilled fingers, finishing on my thighs. I followed him right after, covering my mouth until my moans were unsteady breaths. 

I hadn't even realized Hannibal had left until he came back from the suite with a hot towel, starting to clean me up. I thanked him with a sweet kiss, doing my best to fix his clothes and hair. We both knew it wouldn't do any good, but he enjoyed my caresses and how I took care of him as well. He took one of my hands — the one Chilton grabbed like a brute earlier — and kissed my wrist, right where small purple bruises began to form. 

"We should go back. Who is going to serve dinner? We're being unforgivably selfish" I taunted, chuckling lightly.

"Perhaps you should be my dinner, then" he jested, and I openly laughed, shoving him playfully.

"Later. If you'll have me, that is." I lifted my eyebrows with expectation, staring at his brown irises.

"It would be my pleasure, Y/n" with a last kiss, he went to the bathroom suite to fix his appearance, leaving me with a silly smile and a warm feeling in my chest.

[monstersandmaw]

Whuff, folks, this is a really really long one!! I hope you enjoy it - it kicked my butt and had to be re-written after I got 3k words in and got bogged down with backstory. 

(For reference, if this were a commission, at 12k words it'd be £120. You can read it now for $5/£4.50! You can also read all my back catalogue of Patreon stories too when you sign up. Browse my masterlist for free though here.)

Orcs came out pretty high on the 'favourite monsters' poll over on Patreon, so I went with two, and a satyr because I like sassy satyrs... 

Content: arranged marriage, strained parental relationship for the reader, gender and body neutral reader, childhood friends to lovers, some light D/s play, culturally accepted polyamory, consensual polyamory, penetrative sex, oral sex, a plug, and a lot of fluff because it's me. Wordcount: 12k (!) 

Final note: a 'scop' is the Old English/Anglo-Saxon word for a bard. I gave the reader's people Rohirrim/Anglo-Saxon vibes for this. 

“You’re giving me deja-vu summoning me over to you like that, mother,” you said with a wry drawl in your voice as you sauntered over to one of the two wooden thrones at the far end of the longhouse at her request, and warily eyed the sheaf of paper held casually between her first two fingers. “Last time you looked at me like that, I was twelve and I ended up fostered with the Mountain Clan for six years. Where are you planning on sending me this time?”

You'd meant it for a joke, but the look in her eyes immediately kindled a churning worry in the pit of your stomach when you spotted it, and your expression fell.

“Mother?”

“It wasn’t so bad in the end, was it?” she said archly, one eyebrow rising. “You still write to the warchief’s son on a monthly basis like a lovesick minstrel, though I’m honestly surprised those beasts can fathom out the alphabet.”

Actually, most orcs knew two alphabets: the Trade Tongue, and their own runic language.

This barbed back-and-forth with the Lady of the Hold was nothing new for you though as her often-overlooked, middle child of three, and you took it in your stride, though the insult to Vorstag’s people cut deep. In your time fostering with them, you’d come to love the orcs for their passion and overt love of life — to love one in particular — but no matter how fondly you talked of your time with them, your own people didn’t seem able to get past the orcs’ belligerent reputation or the myriad stereotypes perpetuated about them in the cities, where there were far fewer of them.

Ignoring your mother’s comment about your continuing contact with your adoptive clan, you came to a halt in front of her and stood there, one hip cocked to the side, idly tapping your wooden flute against your thigh. You’d been practising in one of the shadowy corners of the longhouse until she’d called you over to join her. Her eyes flickered to it momentarily before returning to your face, and she sighed.

The Lady of the Hold was an intimidating woman and it was hard to affect calm in front of her, even with your stage-training as a musician and a scop from Widsith before you’d left to live with the orcs. Now, regarding you from her throne, your mother wore clothes of rich silk and fine wool befitting a queen, with thick fur trimmings around her neck, and her ears and throat and hands dripped with glinting gold jewellery bought and paid for by the fine war horses your people bred and raised for the royal stables and noble houses. Even if her attire hadn’t matched that of a queen, her hard glare would have made any monarch quaver. Many people whispered that while the jarl and his wife technically ruled together, it was your mother who truly governed the territory.

She certainly still governed your life well into adulthood.

“I have here a proposal from the Plains Clan…” she said, indicating the paper held at arm’s length between her first two fingers, like it was a spell that might go off any second.

“Oh?” You tried to look casual, but something about it made you uneasy. Her answer to the Plains Clan’s proposal would concern you in some way, you had no doubt. Not least because you spoke orcish like one born into an orcish clan, and you had connections to the Mountain Clan, who were on good terms with their plains neighbours.

Just the thought of those connections made your heart ache: memories of the orc who had made your teenage years in the mountains a dream instead of the nightmare it might have been; who had grown into adulthood with you in lockstep to become your best friend; who had given you your first, exhilarating ride on a warg; who had shared your first kiss at the Winter’s Heart feast, and more besides when you were both older.

“Mn,” she hummed, standing regally and pacing back and forth on the wooden dais in the way she did when she had a problem that was yet unresolved. That did nothing to settle you, but you waited her out. “They have proposed something which I never thought they would to a human: marriage.”

“To you?” you blurted in surprise. “But they know humans don’t mate with more than one other — not formally, at least,” you amended since you knew of at least three people in the settlement who were very happily in a relationship with each other, though they weren’t married in the eyes of the Faith. Not that the Faith had much reach out here, so far from its seat in the royal capital.

“No, not to me, you fool,” she scoffed, irritated at your assumption and, no doubt, at your casual use of the orcish term ‘mate’ instead of marriage. “To one of my children, and since you are the only one unmarried and unpromised, it will have to be you.”

“Married? Me?”

__

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[pomefioredove]

hello hello miss dove ! congratulations on your 500 followers :)

if it's convenient for you, could i please exclude lilia and trey (not to be rude to them i just don't like trey and lilia is an old man basically)

i'm not the best with describing myself but i'll try (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

on the mbti personality test, i am an istp, so from that, i would guess that i'm pretty blunt? idk. i can't really handle situations well, so i practically just go into blunt blank slate mode where i'm just like "you do you ig"

when in the case i am handling the situation with mild proficiency or i like the subject, i can seem quite energized. i always move may hands around or am jumping (i think is how you would describe it? idk, sort of similar to when you're going like |┘^^|┘but up and down and also bouncing like wawawawa)

i am however, easily distracted and procrastinate often. it's not like i do it on purpose but things get boring and i want to do other things but i feel a moral obligations to do the boring things and then i get stuck in that cycle for half an hour (i'm not sure shy, i was told adhd but i'm not diagnosed) i still get straight A though (my mom says i was a stem kid (science technology engineering math))

i <333 sleep but sleep with another person in close proximity is a no no. personal space please and thank you

physical contact?? in theory yes, but actually no

sleep <3

lyney and furina?? i am literally a star trust i am furina and lyney combined that got isekaid to this world (trust)

interest (romance wise)? lyney <3

i am talking too much about myself im sorry

i enjoy video games (too much) like genshin, hsr, twst(trust) pjsk or visual novels, and I have a nice little kirara box from genshin that i made ^^ i like collecting things that i like (cute stuff), watching anime that interest me (cooking anime <3) and food, because food is good, but if i eat too much food i will feel ＞︿＜ and i don't like feeling nasty. baked goods taste good but not too sweet or else the nasty forms. i can also play instruments !! (violin, contrabass, piano, currently semi-learning viola and cello, i can hold a flute correctly)

sadly i get sick all of the time (my friends have said "you have no immune system" or "sickly victorian child" exact words) but that's a lie im too good to get sick (not real)

i almost had a black belt in taekwondo but i didn't like taekwondo so i left (also covid happened but that's not important)

should i also describe myself? i will, but please ignore this bit if you don't need it

im not tall, but not incredibly short (~160cm) i've been told that i have pretty eyes (hazel) but me personally i just think that they look like standard eyes, they do their job well enough (they are not good at their job my eyes cannot see and i need glasses (contacts are scary)) i have very dark black hair that fades into, you guessed it, dark dark brown hair. (my mom once described it as soft black but idk) its styled like gaming's hair from genshin but a little bit longer (i like to think i look very neutral but i look like a female)

my lifestyle i think is pretty normal. i go to school, go to weekly math or coding club, go home and do work, p r o c r a s t i n a t e, sleep repeat until weekend where i life is a void of forgetfulness and then FUWUASHSH!! monday again. in my free time i do enjoy occasionally baking and traveling (japan !!)

oh no its long i'm sorry i rambled on too much :( please don't take this request if you are too busy i don't want you to feel overwhelmed. if you do want to write for this, then i will be dutifully watchin your posts to see anything familiar (‘-‘*ゞ i'm sorry if everything in this request sounds weird, i am not good with my english. please take care of yourself and have a great happy awesome super delicous wonderhoy day !!

-person who loves your work

I match you with 𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐤 𝐙𝐢𝐠𝐯����𝐥𝐭

The First Impression:

Sebek is... Sebek. He can be a little hard to get through to at times, even if his core intentions are good. And he doesn't exactly leave a good impression on a lot of people... not that he means to. Perhaps it's your bluntness, or your nonchalant attitude towards him, but for whatever reason, he doesn't immediately write you off.

Why He Fell:

You guys will kill me for this but Sebek is a little cutie. A little fanboy. He's also jumping up and down like wawawawa when he gets excited. He has a lot of growing to do, but if there's anything admirable about him, it's that once you're close to him, he will care about you forever. (Whether he'd like to admit that or not).

Though, truly, he admires you. You're obviously intelligent, you're honest (AKA blunt, but so is he), you have experience in martial arts... somehow, he finds himself watching his tone more around you, and shelving his boisterous, over-confident persona.

The Relationship:

No touching, no problem. Sebek is already getting used to this whole "dating" thing (not that he can't handle being eternally devoted to another person... look at the guy), and he might even breathe a sigh of relief when you say you don't have to sleep in the same bed.

Sebek is... protective, and that's an understatement. He loves people fiercely, and isn't shy about it. You can expect lots of attention and worry and care, especially as someone who gets sick a lot. He will insist on doing everything for you. He'll make an attempt to keep you on task when you need it, too, though he might not be as great at preventing you from overexerting yourself (as he is with himself!)

[thesinglesjukebox]

LE SSERAFIM - "EASY"

Maybe enable Hard Mode next time...?

[5.83]

TA Inskeep: A snap music breakdown and a mightily bass-heavy track are two things I didn't expect from one of K-pop's hottest girl groups; LE SSERAFIM really are making it look easy here (sorry). "Easy" just glides along, so smooth. [7]

Kayla Beardslee: For a song about making it look easy, there isn’t much about the topline of this song that sounds like it requires work in the first place. LE SSERAFIM are at their best when they’re going hard over a beat that requires the utmost commitment, but this is just a bland rip of dated hip-hop trends with a recorder loop that makes me want to scratch my ears out. RIP fall 2022 TSJ, you would have loved “Antifragile.” [3]

Leah Isobel: "Easy" doesn't feel quite so resolutely its own thing the way that "Antifragile" and "Eve, Psyche, and the Bluebeard's Wife" did; it's basically a Tinashe song. I love Tinashe! [7]

Michael Hong: On "Good Bones," another of the group's fascinating intros, that final line sounds earned: "easy, crazy, hot, I can make it." Maybe it's not really, maybe these words they spit and scream are profound only to themselves, better answered with a shrug and a "well, yeah." But as they motor through the amped-up instrumental, they sell it: "in the end, we all die / half of our life will be suffering," Kazuha mutters. The drums are aching and the guitar roars back at her, but it's this bite that makes it so fascinating, the hint of weakness and vulnerability that makes the group's confidence act feel appropriate. On "Easy," LE SSERAFIM's rough edges are sanded down as they huff and puff over the dry instrumental, the titular word wheezed out with the autotuned-backing sounding like a necessary support. The anxious rush that made "Good Bones" feel so astounding is absent as LE SSERAFIM sound like dolls here, their confidence a blankly feigned act. [2]

Will Rivitz: If "making it look easy" is doing at-home Positions karaoke sprawled on your couch while your friends ignore you to scroll Insta, then sure, I guess. [3]

Katherine St. Asaph: Pleasant! Also situated exactly on the edge of sounding dated -- as in, I genuinely cannot tell whether it does or not. [6]

Ian Mathers: I'm not sure what's actually making that flute-like loop you hear at the beginning (and throughout); maybe it's a specific instrument I'm not familiar with, but it sounds to me like a wonky recorder and partly as a result of that it's very charming. It brings a fittingly casual air to a song about making it look easy, like surely you can pull off this kind of vibe with just about any kind of materials? I'm not even sure what does or does not qualify as "trap" anymore (if I ever knew) but surely if this does it's one of the least outwardly aggressive expressions of the form. Kinda works, honestly. [7]

Taylor Alatorre: I don't know if it was intentional that nearly all of the casually badass "I run this shit"-type lyrics are sung in English, while the admissions of imperfection and struggle are, from the non-Korean audience's perspective, hidden behind a language barrier. But with Le Sserafim, a group that takes such pride in their meticulously crafted identity that they sing their own name twice on a 5-song EP, nothing seems to be unintentional. Having built their brand upon anthems of disruption and defiance, "EASY" serves as a well-timed reprieve from all the noise, a chance to sprawl themselves out over a melodic trap beat, count their checks, and survey all they've conquered. They resist any temptations toward showiness that might upend the carefully composed balance, confident that a line like "rip it up like ballet" will make its genius known even if it isn't shouted from the rafters. [8]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: As another example of LE SSERAFIM's inspira-pop, "Easy" is initially underwhelming with a light trap beat and flute riff: it sounds lightweight following singles like "Eve, Psyche & The Bluebeard’s Wife." That's also the strength of the song -- "Easy" sounds easy but not tossed-off, proving their point. It's confident. It's not their best, but it works. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: Amanda Ibanez you will always be famous with the Technicians. [9]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Not the best sleek K-pop dance track named "Easy" out there but a perfectly fine substitute in a pinch. LE SSERAFIM have been more interesting than this on every one of their prior singles, but the cool, cipher-like nature of "Easy" suits them oddly well -- against a trap beat generic enough that I wondered if it were a sample of something from Atlanta circa 2017, the five of them muster a poise that they lacked on some of their earlier work. It's solid enough, but the closer you examine it the less there is to truly love here. [6]

Alfred Soto: Too easy. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[sparklycitrus]

Giant Wall of Text, about Mo Dao Zu Shi

So....my small trek into Link Click got me into Chinese animation, and of course I stepped into the black hole that is Mo Dao Zu Shi (or Founder of Diabolism, or The Untamed, or more weird names. You know, if it were up to me I'd call the show something like Rise of the Necromancer, because, my dudes, that's what Wei Ying is, a necromancer. We already have a perfectly good word in English and 'diabolism' ain't it). And...yeah...I am so stuck haha. I have a lot of thoughts. But first, let me talk about the animation, because that's my foot into this particular door.

The animation, what can I say? It's absolutely stunning. Beautiful. Completely captured my attention since episode 1. The voice acting is top notch. I thought Link Click's VA work is already great, this one is better. China doesn't have as much of a robust animation department compared to Japan, and even less so with voice acting, so I am very pleasantly surprised. The music, oh my god, drove the whole show for me. Especially the flute/guqin parts. It made everything more vibrant and the fight scenes much more intense. Seriously, whoever did the music accompaniment and sound editing deserves a raise/promotion. I would recommend this show on these three things alone, if only to have something gorgeous and very enjoyable to watch.

But of course, a show's not just those things, right?

(Seriously giant wall of text of my thoughts, and spoilers ahead)

So, in general, I really like the show. I found the characters amazing and the plot very enticing. The side story with Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan and Xue Yang is one of the most tragic things I've seen in a while, with just the perfect amount of love and loss. (I'm actually listening to the audio drama right now and, yeah, those chapters definitely broke my heart.) The main storyline, and I mean the past one with Sunshot and not the less depressing current one, is great, especially the part about Jiang Cheng's golden core. That reveal was so sad and...wonderful haha. I was like "I knew there was something fishy about that whole mountain hermit restoration bit!" Jiang Cheng really made it out terribly in, uh, everything, huh? (That boy was broken after the Lotus Pier saga, and ain't quite right ever since imo.)

However, I do have some complains about...plot structure haha. It's the writer in me, really. So, first of all, the whole thing with names in this story. Look, all the main characters already have two names (just ancient Chinese tradition things?) They also have a title relating to the place they're from, another one for their status, and some locally acquired nicknames. So that's at least 4 different names for each character that they use interchangeably throughout. It would be one thing if there're only like a handful of characters, but no, there's a giant cast that span two generations with a 15-year time jump. Yeah...many times I had to go back to the first episode to figure out who was who and how they're related, and I actually speak Chinese! I imagine there's a handy-dandy flow chart for non-Chinese speakers? It feels so unnecessary. Second, the plot really could use some restructuring. There were times I was like "why the hell are they doing what they're currently doing??" that I imagine were unexplained due to time constraints. Many times I was watching them chase the demonic hand and I was like, why the hell do we care??? (Like, if they actually said it belonged to Nie Mingjue from the get go I would be more invested, but then I guess you couldn't have the "surprise it's Nie Mingjue motherfucker!" at the end.) A lot of times I feel like there's a lack of proper setup and foreshadowing. I would like to get some hint of what comes next, not just watch people go from one plot point to the other for very arbitrary reasons. I feel like season 2 actually did an okay job with build up and conclusion, but being so short probably helped.

I watched the show in Chinese, with Chinese subtitles, but I did switch to English a bit with difficult, ancient Chinese phrases, and I have to say the official English translation is, uh, just okay? It's not great, because it's missing a ton of nuance and mood. You know how you read some beautiful paragraph in a book and it gives you this "feel" of the story? Well, the English translation doesn't do that at all. Chinese, especially ancient Chinese in this kind of setting, is all about using various metaphors and phrases with hidden meanings. That's the beauty of it. But this show's translation just tells you the meaning right away and I find that kind of lacking. I'm sure if you don't speak Chinese it's perfectly fine, but since I do, the comparison is a bit glaring. (I've only experienced the official Tencent version. Maybe fansubs would actually fare better.)

But I guess those are very minor and specific complaints. Again, overall I recommend this animation, and I have not stopped at that, ever since I learned that there's also the manhua, the live action, the audio drama, and of course the original novel. However, because of censorship I will only recommend the animation and the audio drama for now. I will 100% talk about why in another entry, because this entry has gotten a bit crazy long.

[unreadpoppy]

These are my thoughts about each performance + the semi in general

Few things first: I talk a lot about not understanding the words, that is not about the singers accent, it’s about how their singing. A lot of the first few acts were crouching, laying down, and that fucks up your voice a lot. A lot of them were also very breathy and they were not opening their mouth to sing, so this is way more about vocal technique.

Second, Eurovision may try to be apolitical but i am not, however Israel and Azerbaijan’s place in my ranking is because I genuinely did not like their songs and their performances.

Love that the postcards show a place in Ukraine and then show a similar place in the singers country.

Norway:

Meh. The only song I heard before the ESC, and the vocals were very bad (she sounded out of breathe most of the time). The outfit was definetly a choice (TM), cause it wasn’t very good looking and it seemed to hinder her movement. The dancers were the best parts

Malta:

Very fun and I liked them showing previous Malta singers! I didn’t understand much of the lyrics besides feel better in my sweater and do you wanna dance but it reminded me a lot of discotheque

Serbia:

My biggest pet peeve is singers laying down so thank good it was over soon. Conceptually, it’s interesting but I also can barely understand what being sung, to the point where I’m not sure if the whole song is in Serbian or English. The singer is very good looking tho

Latvia:

Like the vocals, and the staging. I can understand something finally. Really liked the “beatboxing” and the lights. Also the other members of the band mouthing words along was fun to see. Is it just me or the songs these year are very short?

THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN VOTE THIS YEAR???? HELL YEAH BITCH!

The rapping was unexpected but not welcomed since it was better than i thought.

HOLY SHIT ITS THE MAKING YOUR MIND UP GANG (I don’t remember the name of the group sorry)

I’m gonna go hard on Portugal since they colonized my country

Portugal:

Thank god it’s not fado. Weirdly love her dress. Everytime I hear a Portuguese person I am reminded that although we speak the same language I cannot understand their accent. Bitch I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but… this is the best singer so far. Like even with the accent, I’m understand a lot, her vocals are great (and she’s moving A LOT), it feels different and new, and it was a very fun performance, it made me wanna move.

Ireland:

This outfit is so sparkly Jesus Christ. Even though they look like a 80’s rejected Mamma Mia tribute act, they sound surprised good. Sir, why is your mic so far away from your mouth? The lyrics are corny tho. I wanna steal the pianists jacket.

Croatia:

ROCK EM ROLL BABY! Oh my god I love their outfits. I have no clue what the fuck I’m watching but I love it. Bitch they have to be queer, a straight person can’t come up with shit like this. I weirdly love this song. NOT THEM STRIPPING AND SOME GUY BRINGING ROCKETS?!?!?

Switzerland:

Please don’t sing in French. I beg of you. Love the singers voice. Humf it’s kinda deep and husky in the begging, I love it so much. Also love the piano in the beginning. But also what the hell are these pants. Love the slow down in the middle. And the ending was also pretty good!

I know there’s a whole thing with ESC and how they support Israel, so it might be hypocritical for me to watch the show and do this, but I will not comment on Israel perfomance.

Moldova:

By their hair, I can already tell Moldova’s gonna do something… interesting. Oh my god the guy on the flute caught me by surprise. Anyone who speaks Romanian can tell me if the song talks about scorpions or are the ladies hair just like… a choice? I feel like I’m watching a ritual or something. Also this song makes me want to get up and move my body. Also not the flautist proving the instruments are live cause there were 2 times where his mouth wasn’t blowing the flute.

Also love the hosts black dress with flames, she looks fucking awesome.

The Croatia guys are really serving looks this ESC. Love that for them. Actually, most people looked pretty good in that carpet.

Sweden:

Everybody knows Loreen’s gonna qualify just because she is loreen, and listen I have nothing against her is just that I usually don’t like Sweden’s entries. And I also I’m not the biggest Euphoria fan (it’s a good song it just wasn’t my winner). Also is she indigenous (genuine question)?

Okay this song is pretty good, I just wish she’d get up. The chorus sound fun but I have no clue what the words are tbh. I’m just understanding uh-oh-uh. Also love her outfit.

Oh my god Filomena Cautela is gonna show up!

Azerbaijan:

Not gonna lie I might be biased because of Azerbaijan-Armenia conflict, especially in 2020/2021, but this song is just meh. But also the fact that they entered this contest in 2008 and they have yet to send a song in their language… damn (same critique to Sweden, who hasn’t sent a song in Swedish in so fucking long).

Czechia:

Already love this. Not the biggest fan of the English verses. Love the hair and outfit, and the overall vibe, makes me want to punch a man in the balls. Bora galera mulheres.

Netherlands:

This dude looks likes a esquerdomacho, I’m sorry, I bet he’s great IRL. I already don’t like this song for some reason. I don’t know it feels like those trying too much to have a meaning when it has 0. However, cookie points for calling God she.

Finland:

Not the song being called Cha Cha Cha. Okay this song is very different than what I thought it would be, but I like it. Always trust Finland to bring something different to the table. Not the song completely changing vibes halfway through. What the fuck was this human centered but make it fucking happened? This feels like an acid trip. The dancers smiling is giving me there is no war in Bah Sing Se.

Hold up. You HAVE TO PAY TO VOTE???? EUROPE WHAT THE FUCK???? I was so excited to vote but do I look like I shit gold to pay for this in EUROS???? Fuck off.

ALYOSHA OH MY GOD, YES! I don’t care about the British lady but oh my gosh sweet people girl is back. Lowkey wished the whole song was in Ukrainian and it was just Alyosha. Also the staging of this performance, very powerful.

Also will Ruslana and Jamala show up (I think they probably will I just want to know if it’s in the Semis or the Final).

Does anyone actually care about Rita Ora? Seriously, just bring more previous Ukrainian entries, they were more interesting.

I like how they showed the UK and Ukraine’s history being somewhat interconected in this competition. Also Graham Norton is always a gem.

Awwwn I loved watching the reaction from Ukraine’s commentator from their win last year.

Oh god this god forsaken Irish turkey…

NOT MALTA’S SINGER WITH A WOODY TOY

They really gonna act like Mans was just a host and not a full on winner?

VAMPIRES ARE ALIVE I KNEW THEY WOULD SHOW THEM FOR THIS GAME!

I’m gonna count how many points I get. Okay I got all 3 points so far. I… I’m not proud how much I know.

I don’t why the finish dude has so much autistic swag for me for some reason. Not gonna lie I think the unicorn thing is so ridiculous, I hate it actually. I love malta’s vibe.

Oh god they gonna talk about Rock in eurovision.

Man I love Julia and Hannah. This air guitar thing was fun. Man the Ted Lasso lady is doing great as hosting things this year.

Instead of big five I heard “big fry”

Love Germany already. They look hot. KKKKKKKK THE GERMAN AND THE FRENCH SAYING THEIR KIDS AND THE ITALIAN TALKING ABOUT PLANTS. This Italian dude is a vibe, god.

Y’all the French entry does sound good but it looses me with the “France” belt. Like I already don’t like French or France in general, and they do this, c’mon.

Oh my god this German dude I love him. Y’all I already love the German entry. Fuck I’m gonna root for them. I mean the song is called blood and glitter, they already won for me. Also his makeup is stellar.

Oh my god I knew I knew Marco from somewhere, he was the 2013 entry. Italy always brings a song that makes me love them all over again. His vocals are beautiful, although the outfit is not the greatest. Yes I will sleep more Marco, don’t worry.

Okay my ranking (this was harder than I thought because most songs were not good):

Portugal

Croatia

Czechia

Finland

Switzerland

Sweden

Moldova

Malta

Latvia

Serbia

Norway

Ireland

Israel

Azerbaijan

Netherlands

Israel, Serbia and Norway qualifying are beyond me but I’m happy with the rest, just wished Malta qualified.

[momo-t-daye]

“I didn’t take you for a flautist, Sirius” said Lily.

“Well,” he said, “I don’t generally flaunt it.”

He’d awoken that morning and found a flute (probably his flute; Sirius was also missing a bugle but Jamie, not a morning person by any measure, had probably transfigured that into a vase and dropped it off the Astronomy Tower) while looking for his left shoe (how he hadn’t noticed it under his pillow all night would remain a mystery for the ages). As the other lads had already abandoned him in favor of breakfasting, Sirius had, naturally, decided to make everything Narcissa’s problem.  She did so hate it when he stood on the table.

“Siri took lessons,” Narcissa said, and there was only a hint of vinegar or venom in her tone.  “A proper, ah, gentleman, ought to have at least a passing knowledge of music.  Music and magic are, after all, merely two letters apart.”

“Just in English,” Lily said mildly.  “Those words are probably spelled different in, oh, Finnish or Sumerian or Mermish.” 

There were rumors that Snape had been a choirboy before Hogwarts, but Sirius had never heard him sing. As of late Snape was so utterly mortified as his voice dropped down the octaves like a slinky on a staircase that the boy had taken desperately to mastering non-verbal casting and engaged in pantomime rather than speaking.  Lily, for her part, couldn’t carry a tune if it had handles- but she could be quite loud.

“Mother was very keen on lessons and tutors,” Sirius sighed, “Particularly when it came to languages and music. It was mostly woodwinds for me after I broke my violin over Reggie’s head.  So now I’m a decent linguist and I can blow anything.”

Snape made an odd strangled sort of noise, and seemed to be hit with a fit of coughing or laughter.

“You hit your brother with a violin?” Lily, who had thrown more than one potato at her sister, was aghast.  Perhaps she was lucky that Tuney couldn’t lift the piano if older siblings were allowed to go about hitting younger siblings with musical instruments.

“It was a small violin!” Sirius protested, “I must’ve been about four, that’s much too small for an actual violin.  After that, it was no more stringed instruments for Siri.” He was rather bitter about that, every guitar he’d tried to smuggle into Number 12 Grimmauld Place disappeared within two hours. Muggle rockstars didn’t pose on their albums with flutes or clarinets; he couldn’t envision himself as a real rockstar with an oboe or a harmonica.

“They made me start with the ocarina because it was too large for Reg to choke on and too small for me to use it to dent his silly skull.  After that it was the piccolo and by the time I was eight we’d worked up to the didgeridoo.”

Snape was still making odd wheezing noises, and Lily was looking rather concerned for his sake.

Sirius smiled, “Still, the joke’s on Mother dearest.  I’ve discovered the tuba.”

[ugotnojamzzz]

Mistake Pt.3

Word Count: 1.6k

Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt, ex!Jungkook

Synopsis: Jungkook hasn’t healed even months after his ex-girlfriend Y/N said ‘I do’ to another man. After one night of desperately trying to hold onto Y/N, will he get back the woman he loves, or was it all nothing but a mistake? (read previous parts to understand)

For a bit of context while I try and write what came before: Y/N is a successful singer songwriter although it’s not super relevant here. I guess you could imagine her to be American although it won’t be clearly stated, she has been really close friends with the other members, for several years especially Hoseok. She had a tumultuous yet terribly loving relationship with JK that ended on rather good terms (you’ll see in other chapters), but Jungkook was lightyears away from being ready to see her married to another man.

Disclaimer: English isn’t my native language, so I apologize in advance for mistakes and awkward wordings to come. Also, I guess this fic could be triggering for some because it’s kind of really sad and angsty.

Chapter soundtrack : River – Joni Mitchell

"He tried hard to help me You know, he put me at ease And he loved me so naughty Made me weak in the knees, Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on"

Alright let’s get into this,

Christmas music was playing softly in the warmth of the H/N household.

The young couple had decided to host Christmas together for their close friends in their newly purchased London home. Kids were running around everywhere, stuffing their face with appetizers, while grown-ups were enjoying more than a few glasses of wine around the crackling fireplace.

However, H/N was busy looking around for his wife with a frown on his face. He had barely seen her since the arrival of the first few guests.

“Hey Gemma, do you know where my beautiful wife might be?” he asked his sister.

“I’m not sure, although she did tell me she was going to the loo about half an hour ago”

Indeed, the hostess was still in the master bathroom upstairs. Far from depicting the holiday spirit, she was sitting on the tiled floor, with her arms wrapped around her knees, surrounded by used tissues and mascara running wildly down her cheeks.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit,” she whispered, for what felt like the hundredth time. She took some more toilet paper to blow her nose, jumping slightly as she heard a soft knock on the door.

“Y/N, come out, love, everyone’s here,” she heard her husband say.

She got up, flinching as she looked at her reflection. She looked like shit, “Um, I’ll be right down babe, you should go back down, I’m just touching up my makeup”, she said, hoping H/N wouldn’t notice the shakiness in her voice.

“Are you okay?” he asked, clearly worried.

“Of course I am,” she answered. She was relieved to heard him walk back downstairs.

Of course, I am, she thought. Was she really, though? Definitely not. She quickly threw all her mess into the tiny bin, before starting to work on her hair and face. Just get through tonight, she thought, just tonight.

“Ah, there she is!” everyone cheered upon seeing her walk down the split staircase, her silky dress flowing beautifully behind her and her makeup opaque enough to hide any previous meltdown.

“Sorry I kept you waiting. You know I love making an entrance,” she giggled trying to hide her nervousness behind a sparkly smile. No one seemed to notice something was wrong as she went around the room, greeting all the guests one by one, cracking a quick joke here and there. Most of the guests were H/N’s friends, but Y/N didn’t mind that much, she understood London wasn’t exactly an ideal location for most of her friends. Plus, she’d gotten close to her husband’s inner circle. It didn’t quite feel like family just yet, but it would come, or at least that’s what she hoped.

“You look a bit pale sweetheart,” H/N’s agent told her laughing, “here, have a drink it’ll loosen you right up”.

Y/N hesitantly took the champagne flute he was holding out to her, mumbling a quick ‘thank you’ before heading to the empty reading room. She let out a sigh of relief as she heard the door close behind her, shutting any noise out. She loved that room; it was always so quiet and cozy. The walls were covered in her favorite books, and the grand piano was almost buried under a mountain of sheet music and song drafts, both hers and H/N’s. The back wall, however, was very neatly organized. It was where they had decided to place their award shelves.

Without even realizing, she approached one award in particular. It was her very first Grammy, which she’d gotten three years before. Next to it was a picture taken at the show’s after party. She grabbed it gently, a sad smile spreading her face. It was of her, along with Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook, making a silly pose with the grammy. She brushed her thumb across Jungkook’s face, her throat suddenly drying up, before letting her attention back on the glass in her hand. She contemplated the idea of downing it in one swift movement. God knew she needed a drink. But she wasn’t sure it would be wise.

Fuck it, she thought.

She weakly brought the glass up to her lips but was interrupted as she heard the door open and footsteps approaching from behind her.

“You look beautiful” H/N whispered in her ear, laying a soft kiss on her shoulder and wrapping one arm around her waist, his hand landing on her belly. She stiffened at the sensation. “Are you okay?” he asked, genuine worry on his delicate features.

“Yeah, I’m good, don’t worry,” she answered, smiling, setting the frame back onto the shelf. And delicately putting the glass down.

But her husband wasn’t fooled, he could feel that something was going on. Truth was, something had been going on for a while. Y/N had been distant, and quiet, very different from the sunny and bubbly girl he’d married just a year prior. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get her to open up to him. He was worried his job had started taking a toll on their marriage, since YN’s strange behavior had started when he’d come back from a trip to promote his new album. Then again, H/N knew she had herself been working on some projects and even spent a couple days with her friends in Hong Kong while he was away, so she’d kept busy.

“Are you sure?”

“Just tired,” she hummed, absent-mindedly, “who would’ve thought hosting Christmas would be so stressful?”

But H/N wasn’t satisfied with his wife’s answer “Y/N, you look-”

She gently slid out of his arms and walked towards the arched window; it was pouring outside. “I told you I’m fin-”, but they were both cut off by a strong voice coming from the foyer.

“Alright everyone, picture time!”

The reading room fell silent for a few seconds, neither of them wanting to argue, neither of them knowing what to do or say. Y/N was the first to move, setting her glass down on the windowsill and stepping past him and towards the exit.

“Y/N-” he sighed, his eyes never leaving her figure.

“You heard them,” she answered, looking back at him sadly, “it’s picture time.” She quickly vanished behind the mahogany doors.

H/N was left alone in the study, with nothing to listen to but his own thoughts. He couldn’t understand what had been going on. Out of curiosity, he glanced at what Y/N was holding when he’d walked in. He felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he took in the picture frame.

Of course, he thought. She’d told him all about how she’d been spending the Holiday season in Seoul for the past few years. It must’ve felt weird and depressing celebrating Christmas without her boys for the first time in so long. H/N felt a lump settle in his throat. He’d taken her away from her family. Of course, he’d hoped he would’ve had become her family by then, but he knew Y/N and the Bangtan boys had a special bond that was hard for outsiders to understand. They were the family she’d chosen. And she was the only person that they had ever truly let in.

Without thinking, H/N took his phone out of his pocket and dialed his assistant’s number, “Hey Lucy, yeah, I know, I’m sorry, I just need you to do something very quickly for me.”

H/N walked quickly to the foyer, finding everyone standing around the staircase, facing the photographer. He walked to the middle of the crowd and next to Y/N, who still looked as absent as ever. But this time he chose to lay a soft kiss on her temple. “It’s okay, I’m sorry, I love you darling,” he mumbled softly against her hair.

Except it most definitely was not okay, he did not have to be sorry, and should not have loved her. Y/N felt her eyes well up as guilt once again ate at her. She discreetly wiped them. There wasn’t anything she could do now, was there?

“Everybody, say cheese!”

She turned around to face the photographer, H/N’s hand wrapping around her waist, a wide yet strained smile spreading across both of their faces.

“Cheeeeese!” everybody yelled.

To say Y/N was exhausted would’ve been an understatement. The party had ended being a lot of fun for everybody, perhaps a tad too much fun, as the last guest had left in a cab after 3AM.

She yawned as she took off her jewelry and heels, before heading to the bathroom getting ready for bed. Y/N heard her husband’s soft snores coming from the bedroom and couldn’t help but smile a little as she remembered his sister had spent the night warning him against the spiked eggnog. He clearly had taken her advice lightly and had ended up getting completely hammered.

She started taking her makeup off, lazily throwing her used wipes in the bin. She froze for a second. The girl wasn’t tired enough to have forgotten the reason why she’d been sobbing on the floor just 6 hours earlier.

She decided to quietly shut the bathroom door, flinching when the lock loudly clicked. She got down on her knees and started rummaging through the bin, only to let out a painful sigh when she noticed her worst nightmare hadn’t disappeared. Yep. They were still in there. All three of them, mocking her with their fucking baby blue lines.

Positive.

Okay, I know we didn’t get any Jungkook in this part but don’t worry, next chapter we’ll see our boys again. I just thought it was important to get a bit of Y/N and her husband before the big reveal aha, even though I guess it was a little expected lol, but then again, I warned you this would be a soap opera. Once again don't hesitate to send me whatever or leave comments I’m always happy to get feedback xxx

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 27 part one

Masterpost | Pinboard 

Warning! Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

First, brachium is Latin for arm, so debrachiate *should* be a real word. But isn’t, alas. 

Fight Me

We start off this episode with the world's darkest dark overlay, which I have removed (along with the color) so we can see what the fuck is happening. (Gifsets are here and here and here.) 

What is happening is that Lan Wangji gets a highly effective umbrella while Wei Wuxian gets the world's least effective rain hat.

We've all watched this scene 1000 times, right? Lan Wangji calls Wei Wuxian back to the path of orthodoxy, Wei Wuxian points out that orthodoxy isn't the same thing as goodness. 

This is the first time, I think, that Wei Wuxian has directly told Lan Wangji that he is wrong. Up until now when they've argued, Wei Wuxian has either deflected or defended but not hit back, rhetorically. But now he's had it and he's just saying what he really thinks. 

(more behind the cut!)

What he really thinks is that he, in failing to stand against the Jins sooner, has broken their vow, and that now Lan Wangji is breaking it.

Wei Wuxian finishes up by--sweetly, kindly--challenging Lan Wangji to a fight to the death. He says that he won't mind dying by Hanguang-Jun’s hand--that he won't be aggrieved about it.  

I think it's important that he doesn't say "Lan Zhan" in this moment--he uses LWJ’s title. Wei Wuxian is saying that if he dies at the hand of a famous hero it'll be okay because it's not a punk-ass way to go out. 

That’s a nice sentiment, and might seem like he's giving LWJ permission to kill him--but it's a threat, too. The wording is a little different, but Wei Wuxian has expressed this feeling about death-by-famous-creature to Lan Wangji before, in a previous conversation that also invoked their shared promise.

"Didn't we promise to practice chivalry and uphold justice together? If we kill the big turtle today, then it is considered as an act of chivalry. If we are unlucky and get killed by it, we still got killed by[...]a monster that's tens of thousands of years old. We still won't look shabby if it gets out, right?"  (Viki subs, Episode 14)

I am incredibly certain that Lan Wangji remembers that earlier declaration.

Wei Wuxian's memory may be crap but he definitely remembers that the turtle he’s comparing Lan Wangji to, is dead. So he's telling Lan Wangji "you'll have to kill me to stop me" and he's also telling him "I won't resent you for killing me" but he's ALSO also telling him "I will kill you if you try to stop me." Lan Wangji has accompanied Wei Wuxian in battle and he knows exactly how deadly that flute can be.

I don't think that fear of death has ever given Lan Wangji a heartbeat's pause, and I don't think Wei Wuxian would expect it to, but this threat is his way of showing LWJ how extremely serious he is about following through on the decision he's made. And Lan Wangji, heart breaking, finally stops trying to change Wei Wuxian. 

He also stops using an umbrella. 

Water is one of the five elements, in Chinese tradition. I won't characterize what water means, because I'm not Chinese, and while I can look things up on Wikipedia with the best of them, I don't want to reduce this to any English-language interpretation, even in the unlikely event that I pick the right meaning. In Chinese poetry, based on my limited knowledge in that area, a single image can convey layer upon layer of meaning, based on context and the reader's prior learning. There's no way I, as an outsider to Chinese culture and language, can understand and explain the full meaning of the imagery in this scene.

What I can say is that this is a scene where water is pouring down, and Lan Wangji has been carefully protecting himself from it throughout the conversation. But at the end he drops that protection and lets himself get soaked. I don't think he's just being emo in this moment; I think this is symbolic of a philosophical turning point for him.

The Unburial Grounds

Wei Wuxian and the Wen Remnants (and the Wen revenant) head into the Burial Grounds, where there are skeletons lying all over the ground. They should rename this place, given that properly burying anybody seems to be a low priority lately. 

Maybe these skeletons all belong to the horses they were riding in the previous scene. Sorry, horsies, everyone was super hungry.

Wei Wuxian says that he lived here for 3 months in the past and everyone is like, okay, *shrug.* Everyone has been through so much at this point that things that were too shocking to mention, before, are now just part of the landscape.

The Wen Problem

Now it's time for another terrible Jin party. 

Jin Guangshan is so terrible, nearly everybody else is terrible; I'm not going to recap all the ways they are terrible.  But let's look at the chess moves that are happening in this scene.

First there’s the Wen situation. Everyone is talking about the Wens and how they deserve punishment, and they debate whether non-participants who help participants are guilty. And the thing is, Wen Qing totally helped Wen Ruohan, and Wen Chao. She did it to protect her brother, but helping a murderer to kill everybody else's brother in order to protect your own is not, actually, very cool. 

A better defense is that the Wen sibs were traitors to Wen Ruohan, and helped the Jiangs quite a bit.  Wen Ning directly attacked Wen soldiers to rescue Jiang Cheng and was imprisoned and tortured for it; Wen Qing sheltered the Jiang core family at the risk of her life, saving the future of the clan, and was also imprisoned as a traitor.

Jiang Cheng starts to say that the Wen sibs saved them during the war, but Nie Mingjue immediately challenges him, asking how did they save you, and didn't the Wens annihilate your sect? 

And that's the end of any more Wen advocacy from Jiang Cheng. Unfortunately, this is sensible of him. All it would take is for one rando cultivator at the party to say "You, your sister, and Wei Wuxian made a deal with those Wens to save your life; you ran away and didn't protect your parents" and that's the end of the Jiang clan. For Jiang Cheng, every other obligation--every other feeling--is secondary to the safety of his clan.

Everyone agrees, vocally or by staying silent, that the Wens suck and need to be punished, and Jin Guangshan moves along to the next agenda item: talking shit about Wei Wuxian.

The Wei Problem

This is the actual point of this gathering. Jin Guangshan wants the Yin Tiger amulet. The Yin tiger amulet is, currently, a spiritual tool belonging to the Jiang Clan, just like Zidian, or Baxia with the Nie clan. The Yin amulet is special, because wielding it is dangerous, specialized work, but the situation is still pretty simple. JGS wants a weapon that properly belongs to Jiang Cheng, even though Jiang Chang isn’t the one holding it. So to get it, he will do whatever he can to get control of Jiang Cheng.

He does this by offering his son, and his clan’s protection, to Jiang Yanli, and by directly pressuring Jiang Cheng, trading on long family friendship.  And with Jin Guangyao’s help, he works to increase the conflict between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, pressing very hard on JC's insecurities as a young clan leader. 

This doesn't entirely work as Jiang Guangshan hopes, however.

The thing about Jiang Cheng is, it's very easy to make him lose emotional composure, but his loss of composure doesn't really affect his decision making. He's *used* to being an emotional mess. He's good at it. He gets upset, but he still makes careful and reasonable decisions.  

What all of the anti-Wei Wuxian talk does affect, however, is Mianmian's decision making

Mian Mian's departure has consequences beyond making her the only female character to survive this adventure. When Jin Guanghan lets her leave without a word, a crucial support is removed from Jin Zixuan's side: someone who has looked out for him and mediated all of his interpersonal interactions for years and years. 

In particular, she's intervened in his conflicts with Wei Wuxian. The fight at Qiongqi Pass would have ended differently, if she had been there. Most likely, she would have died instead of him--she's a female character, you know I'm right. If she didn’t manage to de-escalate the situation in time, she would have thrown herself in the way of the fatal blow, saving Jin Zixuan. And then he would make that slightly pained face he makes. 

Yep, that’s the one

The other person who is affected by the slander is Lan Wangji, who contradicts the chief fucking cultivator in front of everybody, while giving him a death glare for the ages. Jin Guangyao steps in to soften up the obvious lie, and Lan Wangji transfers the death glare to him. 

Eventually Lan Wangji gets fed up and leaves the party without asking Lan Xichen for permission, which is a first. Lan Xichen is not a fan of this new side of Lan Wangji. 

Note that Lan Qiren doesn’t say a goddamn thing during this whole party, deferring to Lan Xichen and keeping himself in the role of wise elder. All that self restraint must be difficult; he is probably really looking forward to yelling at Lan Wangji later.

Eventually Jiang Cheng has been harangued by Jin Guangshan for long enough, and says he’ll go to the burial mounds, and he’ll make Wei Wuxian turn in the Yin tiger amulet.  This is a political decision, not a personal one, despite all the personal turmoil Jiang Cheng is feeling. 

Seriously.

Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan are both very pleased with themselves, having executed this whole sequence of moves in perfect harmony. 

They don’t actually know Jiang Cheng or Wei Wuxian all that well, however; nothing is going to go according to their plan. Or at least, not according to Jin Guangshan’s plan.  

Later, Gator

Lan Wangji says goodbye to Mianmian and exchanges the secret fist bump of Wuxian solidarity. When we next see her, she will be married with a kid and have grown-ass men hiding behind a hay bale on her porch for no apparent reason. 

On the other side of the porch, Lan Xichen and his sworn brothers have a super uncomfortable chat. Nie Mingjue admires Mianmian's gumption and is probably thinking he should marry her marry her to Huaisang.

They talk about Wei Wuxian and his evilness, with Lan Xichen being uncharacteristically outspoken by offering a weaksauce defense of Wei Wuxian, and Nie Mingjue being a massive hypocrite as he blusters about the importance of staying on the right path..

He takes a minute to lecture Jin Guangyao on taking this as a lesson, while Lan Xichen contemplates Lan Wangji's back, and worries.

Writing prompt: AU in which Nie Mingjue marries Mianmian to Nie Huaisang, then dies; Mianmian helps Nie Huaisang with his revenge plot, Mianmian cleverly figures out how to keep Mo Xuanyu alive by sticking his wandering spirit in Jin Guangyao's body after all the debrachiating and stabbing. Mo Xuanyu’s a nice person so he decides to go comfort Lan Xichen, so suddenly "Jin Guangyao” shows up on Lan Xichen’s doorstep wearing flashy face makeup and sexy clothes, ready to live his best gay life. I have no idea what LXC would do; I don't write the stories I just write the prompts; no I’m not smoking anything at the moment; anyway Mianmian becomes chief cultivator, Huaisang helps her with strategy and foot massages, and Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go road tripping.

[kissesandcream]

a smol sibling.,

w/ xiao, kaeya, & venti

— • request from anon : being the trio’s younger sibling! (separately)

xiao p1 || kaeya p1 || gn ! sibling ! reader || headcanon format || 1.5k words

; masterlist.,

; a / n - i’ve done xiao and kaeya before, but i had some more ideas so i’m making some more! links above if you’d like to read the others <3

xiao .,

• the other hcs i made for him where general, but here anon specified a younger sibling, so i’ll do that!

• he’s that sibling who’ll pretend ur the most annoying thing on the planet but would do anything for u so much as you ask

• “xiao when u come back could i have some glaze lilies” “get them yourself im the vigilant yaksha not a flower picker🙄” mhm then why did u literally wipe out qingce village’s flower population hm xiao 🤨

• teaches u how to fight!! but he’s not teaching he’s “helping you discover things yourself so you can be a functional person”

• it takes way too much effort to get this man to admit he loves you but you know it as much as he does so it’s okay <3

• cloud retainer has so much dirt on him it’s crazy. if you ever need some blackmail material head over to hers. also you can find some embarassing pictures she’s got a heckton

• verr goldet takes care of u a lot too, xiao’s a great brother and all but he lacks in this department called self care

• idk if you’re mortal or adeptus or half adeptus but if you need to eat and do basic body functions he does not got u covered

• mans would try to raise u on almond tofu until verr goldet bought out a food pyramid and explained about these things called nutrients 

• he also doesn’t understand how important sleep is so,,, “xiao i’m gonna stay up” “yeah sure whatever” passing out two days later “y/N WHAT’S WRONG-”

• yeah verr goldet and the innkeeper guy give him a guide to basic survival talk and all through it he’s glaring at you like why did you never tell me you needed human things to live >:( 

• now that he knows you need sleep, he makes u sleep at 8 pm every night like a grandpa!! good luck trying to get him to stop!!

• are these getting too guardian-like and less sibling-like??? 😭 but that’s the vibes he gives yk!! ur over protective adeptus parent-brother who has no clue how u work but wants to try to understand a little

• in the game u can tell how much more open he gets wit the traveller as friendship levels progress, and if you’ve maxed it out he’d basically do anything for you and would want you to trouble him than yourself

• and he’ll probably be closer with you than he’ll ever be with traveller since you’re siblings and whatnot, so it would make sense that he looks out for you more than your typical older brother yk

• plays the flute for you!! if he hears u humming a tune under your breath he’ll find it and learn it to play for u 

• he may not fully understand how relationships work but he’s trying his best for u <3

 kaeya .,

• my other kaeya hcs were in relation to you being close / living with diluc, but these will be more general and central towards kaeya!

• kaeya fits literally every older brother trope that exists. the brother who’s always got ur back? you got it. the brother who keeps secrets you don’t know about from you? heck yeah. the annoying brother who makes u do his chores for him? maybe a little too much.

• pls he (lovingly) shoves all of his small tasks onto u it’s infuriating but you can’t even say no bc then he gets all dramatic 

• “y/n 😩 you’re abandonning your dear brother like this 😩 how could you 😩 i didn’t know you were so cruel 😩” sir shut up <3

• since he’s a people person everyone knows u very well too, heck all the senior citizens probably voted u as second best in law after him or smth idk man 

• hanging out with best boy bennett!! he canonically sees kaeya as an older brother too so y’all def go on little adventures together <3

• ur one of the only people who have ever looked under his eyepatch, diluc and crepus being the only other two

• sometimes he forgets to take it off when he goes to bed and it leaves a bruise bc it’s pretty tight, so he let’s you change it for him 

• “i can do this myself, you know” well he can but you both know he likes it better when you’re there

• does not allow your closet to be anything less than exquisite, you’ve got a bunch of scarfs like his whether you like it for not

• makes u buy his wine from diluc for him bc every time he goes to the tavern diluc raises the price tenfold just for him

• he’s that sibling who will rile you up on purpose just for the fun of it. i have a cousin who used to do that when he was younger and it was annoying but he still adores me sm so i don’t mind <3

• besides even if he does get on ur nerves amber’s got ur back- you can rant to her about him for hours on end and she’ll add with her experiences with kaeya’s bullying

• what are siblings if not for sibling rivalry, yes he picks on u constantly but he also picks u up when you’re feeling low <3

venti .,

• oh my gods he would be sO FUN

• the two of you are the bane of diluc’s existence, venti loops u into his winery pilfering plans a lot 

• venti pulls the archon card if the two of you get caught by him idk what excuse you’ve got but it better be good 😭

• no way the god of wind and song’s sibling doesn’t love music- even if you’re tone deaf, or hard of hearing, music is about the pleasure it brings and he’ll bring it to you

• you guys go wind gliding a lot of the time too!! y’all don’t even need gliders you’ve got the power of anemo 😎

• he’s that cool brother who’s only rule is that you do whatever you want to do, life is too short for regrets so live in the moment and be spontaneous!

• even though he’s older he seems much younger than you at heart 😭 will wine if you don’t do something for him it’s hilarious

• you’ve got other things to do and he’s just “but hanging out!!!” and ur like “but work!!!” 

• it’s very hard to be productive with him around, he will distract u with something as mundane as an apple- it’s not his fault tho bb just has a poor attention span 😭 

• he’s very clingy, if you’re together he’ll link your elbows like everyone did in sixth grade, and in turn u can kick him in the kneecaps when he does stupid things

• he’s the ceo of stupid things so u get to kick him a lot, it’s a mutal symbiotic relationship we love to see it <33

• my brain is dead and i can’t english rn but. his vibes yk he’s so fun to be around, he gives out surprisingly killer advice too

• i have this man’s teapot lines plastered on my wall bc they help me deal with stuff, so if you’re ever down you can always, always, always go to him and he’ll have the exact things to say

• if it’s words, he has them, if it’s silence you need he’ll lend you his shoulder; but there was never an instance he doesn’t leave you better than before

• you haven’t seen his archon side a lot, since he doesn’t show it all that much, but it’s so far from venti it’s a little scary; but in a sort of admiring way yk

• you guys visit zhongli sometimes, and it’s a free real estate for blackmail material bc of how terrified venti is of him

• zhongli is like that long lost uncle who visits once a year, and you’re his favorite child so he gives you candy and picks on venti for not taking good enough care of you

• “i’m their sibling not their parent” “you’re older have some responsibility >:(”

• if you ever get drunk he will hear about it and will come all the way from liyue to i will have order venti’s head, regardless of whether he was the cause of you being drunk or not

• that about wraps it up! im sure i could think of more but my brain is sorta dead rn so this will have to suffice 😭 i can’t think of a closing statement sO i hope u enjoyed!! bye bye!! <3

[paperandsong]

My fic, Erik Gets a COVID Test, is being translated into Chinese by Snowydove7. It’s an honor to have someone volunteer to translate fic and it’s been a great experience so far. It is so much fun to watch Chinese readers interact with the fic on Lofter, a Chinese language fanfic site. 

I do not speak Chinese so I’ve been using Google Translate to read the comments, which has been an interesting lesson in the limitations of Google. I use the program to translate between Portuguese and English fairly regularly for work purposes and while it always needs editing, it is readable. But I have found that for Chinese, Google Translate loses all ability to convey nuance or slang. As a human translator, this actually makes me feel pretty good. Computers can’t replace us just yet. 

Here’s an example:

Reader：这个设定好有趣！！会乱骂人还肌肤饥渴的桶子最傲娇了哈哈哈～～

Reader: This setting is so interesting! ! A bucket who can curse people and get thirsty skin is the most arrogant hahaha~~

Snowydove7 has been great about answering any questions I might have about the comments. I’ve learned that “skin-thirst” and “thirsty for skin” is how one talks about being “touch-starved” in Chinese. 

Comment from Snowydove7 about the use of “bucket” to discuss Erik: 

'Bucket' is 'bucket'. In Chinese, the word Phantom has similar pronunciation as 'meal bucket(饭桶, spelled as Fantong in Pinyin）', which means a good-for-nothing. It's such an interesting coincidence that Chinese POTO fans uses 'bucket' or 'meal bucket' a nickname of Erik. AI has a long way to go before understanding homophones.

Another interesting conversation we’ve had is about the Chinese translation of Leroux’s novel. Snowydove7 noticed my author’s note in which I explain that Christine sings the Night Queen’s aria from The Magic Flute in the original French, which was left out of the Teixeira de Mattos translation (along with many other details!) Snowy mentioned this scene was also missing from their Chinese Leroux. I asked Snowy to check for several other details - the scissors, the enlarged coffin - and they were all missing from the Chinese translation too. Which means it is very likely that the translation Snowy was looking at was translated from Teixeira’s English, and not the original French. The omitted passages are like watermarks of Teixeira’s censorship - and they show up in the translations of other languages too. 

Snowy confirmed that there are many Chinese language editions of Leroux and some of the newer translations do include these missing details. That still doesn’t confirm whether the translation was made from the original French or from a more recent English translation that is more faithful to Leroux. I find it fascinating that French literature would be translated into Chinese via English. But it makes sense. There are more English speakers in China than French. 

I couldn’t find a date for the first translation of Phantom of the Opera into Chinese, but it seems it must have been at least prior to 1937, when “Song at Midnight”, a Chinese made silent film based on Leroux’s novel, was released. 

Here are the Chinese editions I found available on Amazon. It is impossible to know which were translated from Teixeira or other English translations, and which were translated from the original. 

(No year provided) Phantom of the Opera (Traditional Chinese Edition) Unknown Binding

1991 China Astronautics Publishing House

2000  Shanghai Literature and Art Publishing House (Youth Edition)

2010 Chongqing Press

2012 New World Press

2013 大连理工大学出版社 (Graphic Novel)

2016  Changjiang Juvenile & Children's Publishing House

2020  Yuan Liu (might be translated from the original French)

2021 Shang Hai Yi Wen Chu Ban She (The description sounds like the 2004 film)

“Eric was born deformed and was abandoned by his parents and society. The kind Madame Giry hid him in the basement of the opera house.”

Chinese fans, do you have any recommendations for Chinese language translations of Phantom of the Opera? Any comments about PotO slang in Chinese? Leave a note!

[kindness-ricochets]

I’ve been seeing a lot of thoughts and hc of autistic wylan lately and you seem to also be a fan of the concept. May I ask why? Exactly? I could definitely kinda see it but wanna hear you thoughts you’re always so eloquent

Hey there anon! Sorry for the delay—I’m guessing you already found an answer to this elsewhere while I was off Tumblr for a bit, but just in case, here are my thoughts. This will be heavily personal, but… well, you can’t very well ask an autistic person about autism and expect neutrality!

Autism is different for everyone and can be difficult to pin down, so while Wylan is arguably autistic, he misses several beats that for me would have made him definitively and undeniably autistic. For example, when the bells start to ring, triggering black protocol—I work in a place with a lot of bells and am frequently caught too close to one and normally press my hands over my ears until it’s over because that sound is like shrapnel raking across my insides. All of them. Not just the ear and brain parts. Wylan doesn’t have that sort of visceral reaction, but that may just mean he doesn’t have the same sensitivities that I do, or to the same level. He also never, that I recall, eats meat—as weird as that might sound, eating meat is incredibly complicated with heightened sensitivities to taste and texture. I’m not sure how old I was when I realized it was strange to get up from the table to spit out my food because it viscerally repulsed me. So it might be that Wylan is autistic and has different experiences than I do. Those are things I would include in a story as major indicators of a character being autistic. This might also mean that his father’s way of raising him taught him to hide unusual reactions and stimming behaviors. It’s not that much of a reach to assume a man who tried to abuse the dyslexia out of his son would take the same approach to autism. (More on autism and abuse later.)

So while I’m going to lay out why I read Wylan as autistic, that’s why I think it’s valid to read him as not being autistic as well. Both are valid.

A final caveat, I am well overdue for a reread of the books, so I likely left something out or could have found better examples. Take this as a few of my reasons for a personal headcanon. Anyone who feels differently, that's fine! We can each read things our own way :)

1 - Hyperfixation: The way Wylan loves music

Most of the Crows’ backgrounds color how they see the world: Kaz’s shrewdness, Matthias’s tactical thinking and superstition, Inej’s faith and Suli wisdom, etc. That’s a sign of good character writing. But very little of Wylan’s upbringing seems to have influenced how he sees the world. It comes closest when he thinks about how his father would scorn his new friends, but we never see that scorn from Wylan.

The way a hyperfixation feels, it’s like you’ve always lived in a close parallel world, never fully been a part of the other one where it seems like everyone else lives, but suddenly there’s this bright shining piece of your soul laced through the other world. It lets you connect, it lets you exist in their realm, and you can’t help but filter everything new through that lens because it’s the brightest, most wonderful thing. (I had been between hyperfixations for a while when I started a new job; six months into that work, I read Crooked Kingdom. One of my coworkers thought I had fallen in love, it was that marked a difference.)

So, combining these: Wylan never really acts like he was part of his father’s world, and indeed is in some ways separate from the other Crows, but he parses everything through music, his hyperfixation. He sets words to music to remember them, like he does with the contract. Even his own anxiety is made sense of through music, when in his first narrated chapter, he sets it to music: what am I doing here what am I doing here…. When he’s overwhelmed, his thoughts are “a jangle of misplayed chords”. The Crows have backgrounds that influence how they react to the world, but Wylan’s hyperfixation is his means of experiencing and understanding the world.

2 - Literal thinking: Wylan responds to exact words

In this post, I went into detail on the line where Wylan suggested waking up men to kill them. Wylan is generally unsupportive of killing people—Oomen, Smeet’s clerk, his father… he advocates not-murder in each of these situations. Accepting his aversion to murder, his suggestion to wake men up and kill them seems like a genuine reaction to Jesper saying he doesn’t want to kill unconscious men. Wylan takes things literally.

This happens the most with Jesper, probably because Jesper talks to Wylan the most. Nina and Matthias don’t really register him past how he might be useful, Inej is usually quite direct, and Kaz is very deliberate when he speaks with Wylan. This really interests me because Kaz tends to vary his speech more than the others do, he adapts more to being around other people. He jokes a little with Jesper, spars with Nina, speaks more openly and more sharply with Inej, and he’s precise with Wylan. Kaz may not know what autism is, but he recognizes what’s effective with Wylan.

Another example is when Wylan is sketching the Ice Court plans and Jesper says it looks like a cake. There are plenty of valid responses here: pointing out that concentric circles look like lots of things, that it’s just a sketch, telling Jesper to stop looking over his shoulder. Instead, Wylan says that the Ice Court is sort of like a cake. That… doesn’t sound like something Wylan would normally say. He’s not addressing the whole situation, he’s addressing the specific words Jesper said.

One of the most heartbreaking examples of this (to me, anyway) is with Marya. Wylan does the same thing with his mother, when she asks if he’s there for her money and says she hasn’t got any, and his response is, “I don’t either.” We understand as readers that what Marya is communicating here is that she is so accustomed to being utterly ignored unless she is being used, and if she told Wylan that no one visited but to take advantage and she assumed he was here for the same reason, he would say it wasn’t the case. But he just responds to the immediate statement.

There are a lot of examples of this.

3 — 0% perception, 100% creativity

Wylan can identify things that don’t make sense or that he doesn’t understand, but at the beginning of the series he can’t make leaps, only ask questions. On the Ferolind, he wonders about the source of water at the Ice Court; though Kaz doesn’t say as much, he was clearly wondering, too, because he eventually figured out the underground river. There’s an interesting parallel here where, in the beginning of Crooked Kingdom, Wylan asks a question about how they’ll break into Smeet’s and Kaz tells him to use his eyes instead of running his mouth—at which point Wylan is able to figure it out. I don’t think this is because he never tried before, though, but because no one ever bothered to teach him. Kaz can be harsh but he gives harsh corrections rather than harsh rejections and Wylan learns from him.

It’s hard to understand the world for people with autism. The world is designed and run by and for people whose minds are fundamentally different from ours, whose thoughts and experiences are unlike ours. Imagine trying to learn English or Spanish or Mandarin or any other spoken language if your first language was olfactory. That’s sort of what it’s like for someone with autism to just get dropped into the world and expected to figure this out.

This can be attributed to Wylan’s upbringing, but I disagree with that because none of the others were brought up in the Barrel, either, and Wylan doesn’t understand trade or politics with any special skill. Kaz wasn’t born in the Barrel, but he managed to go from “stealing is wrong” to “wrong isn’t my concern” real quick; Colm Fahey didn’t raise his son on gambling and firefights; the Ghafas never expected their daughter to be away from the family. Only Nina has relevant training—and even that’s precious little, she left school way too early. The others figured it out; Wylan needed a bit more help. He also seems surprised by the way his father conducts business. Wylan takes things on face value—like the time he’s surprised someone would do something, simply because it’s unlawful. This is something he expresses to a group of gangsters. He’s never been taught the way of any world and these things are not intuitive to him.

But Wylan isn’t stupid.

He doesn’t know how to understand the world, but he does understand how things go together. Given a pointy diamond, a handle, and a screw, he cut through Grisha glass. He carries flashbangs and magic napalm, he recreates military hardware—Wylan understands how to make things interact for a specific result. But to me the most telling thing isn’t just that he puts together chemical pieces, it’s that he figured out Jesper controlled bullets. He saw the pieces and put them together.

Wylan can understand when things don’t make sense, but he can’t make sense of them—yet when he understands things at their basic level, he understands them without preconception, for what they are. This is a very autistic way of thinking about things, it goes back to the literalism. He can’t make the leaps of logic other people can, but he also doesn’t make the assumptions they do—“I’ve never heard of a bullet Grisha, so that’s not a thing” vs “Well Jesper’s an almost impossibly good shot and he controls metal and bullets are metal, so why not?”

4 - Broken brain/body connection

Wylan’s great at chemistry and drawing and playing flute or piano—but he’s something of a disaster other times. This is in particular contrast to the other characters, all of whom are physically adept. Meanwhile it’s a challenge for Wylan to climb a rope ladder and he spends a full paragraph trying to figure out what to do with his hands. It’s easy to say, well, he’s used to a sedentary lifestyle, but at this point he’s not. He’s worked in the tannery for months. He’s just physically awkward.

I have less to say on this point only because it’s about something I don’t fully understand myself. I don’t really understand what it would be like to have a body that just… does things? Like normal stuff? Without tics and stims. No idea. Only that Wylan’s discomfort in and seeming lack of mastery of his own body feels very relatable to me.

5 - Abuse

One of the most familiar things about Wylan is how he has been so thoroughly abused and broken down that he’s afraid to do or say much of anything. Again, this is a place his background can be an obscuring factor. Of course Wylan didn’t think to blow up the walls when the first met the parem-juiced jurda and got trapped, he’s a spoiled rich kid! Except, he also startled when Jesper said his name later. Wylan didn’t hesitate because he was spoiled, he hesitated because he had no confidence.

He also thinks Kaz would laugh at him for playing music at his mother’s grave. Now, personally, I can’t see Kaz laughing at Wylan—being indifferent, thinking it’s pointless sentimentality, shaking his head, maybe commenting sharply that they need to go if they don’t have the time. But not laughing. Kaz is a snarky, sharp-edged jerk sometimes, but he doesn’t go out of his way to criticize, he just lets people know when they inconvenience him.

Wylan has been trained to identify attention as negative by an overbearing abusive father who literally saw him as less favorable than a demon. Now, that may have been hyperbole, but Jan criticized everything he could about Wylan—art, music, emotion—and made clear that he was worthless and competent to nothing. (Jan Van Eck can suck a rotten donkey dick but that’s neither here nor there.)

A lot of people with autism experience levels of bullying that have similar impacts. Or as the kids these days are calling it: we go to school. We go to school where we are weird. Where we look weird and move weird and talk about weird things and there’s a whole little bevy of asswipes to makes sure we know it. I got teased more for playing Pokemon and sitting alone reading than the kid who pissed himself onstage at assembly. (This was before Pokemon was cool. I’m old.) And that is not unusual for autistic kids. It’s also not unusual for this to be compounded by relatives or even parents who may be trying to help but don’t understand and can make things even harder.

So we can’t read social cues and we’re taught at a vicious age that everything that comes naturally to us is wrong. Imagine trying to interact in society with that background. There is no guide and most advice from neurotypical people isn’t actually what they mean. It breaks you down.

Wylan’s anxiety isn’t definitive of autism, but isn’t something that was incredibly familiar as someone whose neurodivergent experiences created a strong level of anxiety.

6 — High Compassion, Low Social Competence

Wylan isn’t very good at making friends. In fact, none of the Crows likes him much in the beginning, and only some of them soften toward him by the end. (Matthias and Nina come to respect his skills as a chemist but neither seems to particularly like him.) But you can see throughout the books that Wylan wants to connect with them and be one of them, he just… isn’t. He’s off-beat. He’s weird. He asks questions and mimics behaviors (trying to be cool and tough like Jesper, saying “mission” like Matthias does, imitating Kaz’s scheming face) but he doesn’t quite get how to adapt.

But he still cares about people. Not just them. Everyone. He cares about the people they leave in the ditch outside the prison wagon, he cares about Hanna Smeet, he cares about Alys. He cares about the people who’ll take a hit from Kaz’s sugar caper.

Wylan’s awkward social skills have undeniable big autism energy. I posit his compassion does as well. This is simply who Wylan is, and that means being someone who cares about everyone. I have nothing to back up that this is related to autism. I can say that it’s like me. (Not to brag.) I can’t turn off the part of my brain that says everyone matters. Individuals can opt out of that compassion, but they have it by default. There’s a certain agony in feeling a pull toward and love for just about everyone and yet an inability to develop meaningful connections with them, and that keen loneliness… it just burns.

Again, it’s not definitive of autism, but it’s very similar to an autistic experience.

I said in the beginning that I didn’t think Wylan certainly had autism and I stand by that, but he is a powerfully honest reflection of many people who do. So he can be understood to have autism, and that’s part of the reason some people have that headcanon.

[meichenxi]

2021: what happened??

Because this year was shit for everyone, I'd like to focus on what I did achieve. Here, in no particular order, are some of the things that I did during 2021:

- Graduated from my bachelors in linguistics with a first

- Completed my dissertation on constructed languages, one of the first academic papers that has ever been published on conlangs, and a piece of original research working with over 25 conlangers that I'm very proud of

- Read substantially more fantasy and other fiction than the year before

- Successfully completed National Novel Writing Month and wrote 50,000 words of my first novel, bringing the total word count to just over 110,000 words written since June

- Spent over 2 months with my mother, which is the longest I've spent with her since I left home. Our relationship isn't perfect but it's much better than it used to be, and this time has been able to be healing for both of us now that my brother’s not here

- Lived in over 5 places and cities #sofasurferlife

- Reconnected with a friend who I haven't spoken to since first year of university, and now live with her!

- Applied and got into a master's degree in Descriptive Linguistics, to start in February

- Word of Honour, Couple of Mirrors, Nirvana In Fire 2, Meteor Garden, Hikaru no Go, random bits and pieces of other cdramas…

- Spend substantial time - often upwards of 3 hours a day - tutoring a family in English. I grew very close to them and help support the kids through difficult times and periods in their life, and feel that (hopefully) I have genuinely made a difference to them

- Made a lot of new friends online. You guys - and you know who you are - have made such a difference to my life this year

- Got a new cat!

- Started playing the flute again, as well as the tin whistle, and realised that Chinese has inexplicably helped my ability to play by ear. I don't understand how this works either, but back when I actually played the flute regularly in a concert band, I was absolutely hopeless at playing anything by ear. Now naturally everything else including my technique is worse since I haven't practiced in years, but my ability to play by ear is inexplicably 20000 times better. Who knows?!

- Before I enjoyed myself, improved my flexibility a huge amount! I can almost do a scorpion now :D

- Tried out CrossFit, which I really enjoyed, and will definitely go back to once the pandemic is over and it’s safe.

- Watched a lot of people fall into the river from my window. Very amusing.

- Stayed with my friend and his girlfriend for some time. It was lovely and me and said girlfriend are now incredibly close and once spent an evening washing clothes in the bath drunk by stamping on them and singing bad sea shanties and I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy

- Saved a hedgehog from being killed!

- Did some art again for the first time in years

- Went to a a pride, only my second one! (And made a fool of myself because all the kids there were so young and didn’t know wtf I was talking about)

- Had a wonderful Christmas with my family, which was especially remarkable because my brother was there, and we haven't enjoyed each each other's company since about 2007. But it was actually really nice and I'm hopefully our relationship can move on going forwards.

- (Also, my brother had a secret child!!!!!! Wtf!!!!!)

- Started learning German again

- Started learning Python

- Figured out a lot more about myself, which is not to be overlooked! Some of the things I learnt I won't go into, since this is a public space, but I know they will be incredibly useful for me going forwards.

- Had a few sobering wake up calls about health: my hands have gradually been more and more painful, and eventually I've had to look into other input methods, such as dictation software. That's what I'm using to write this post! It's difficult, and it's taking some time to get used to a very different type of writing, but I'm confident that with support I'll get there. Crucially, it means that my hands are far less fucked than they were before :D :D Which is good. And hopefully means I'll be able to write again, which I haven't been able to do since NaNo because they’ve been hurting so much. It also work for German and Chinese!

I haven't been keeping track of any hours spent on Chinese or other languages, so I'm not able to do a langblr roundup of everything I've achieved this year in terms of languages. To be honest, I could have done a lot more - but I'm just pleased that I continued learning at all in  what turned out to be one of the worst years of my life.

Thank you everyone for your support! Seeing the interaction on some of my posts - and seeing what you guys got from it - has helped me get through.

What have you guys achieved during 2021, in terms of languages or otherwise? I'd love to hear!

- meichenxi out

[hualianff]

How To Piss Off Your Boss II 《I》

When HC places the dishes in front of a group of esteemed guests, foreigners and wealthy business people by appearance, he’s roped into a brief conversation in English. Not that he minds too much. HC has had many opportunities to practice different languages in the kitchens he’s worked in, mainly consisting of English, Spanish, Italian, and Japanese. Most of the phrases HC retained were curse words too. Go figure.

Once the CEO wraps up the small talk session, he spins on his heel and speeds back to the kitchen. As he power walks through the various tables, HC takes note of which guests have seemingly ordered yet still only have drinks on their tables. He’s not sure what his employees were yammering about to delay their service up to fifteen minutes, but it could certainly wait until after the dinner rush, for god’s sake.

A blur of white completely stops HC in his tracks. His neck suffers from a violent double-take when he catches sight of a familiar white turtleneck, worn by a figure with a familiar smile. HC’s mouth gapes open slightly, nearly tripping in his haste to veer off towards the two-person table secluded by the window.

XL cutely waves as he finally gets a glimpse of his husband tonight.  

“Gege!?” HC breathily asks, confused. XL sets his flute of wine down, amber eyes shining with mirth. 

“Surprise!”

HC immediately shoots a glare back to the kitchens where he sees his employees peeking through the pair of windows on the doors. His lips curl into an angry snarl, like a tiger provoked by its own streak. He makes a move to steamroll into his kitchen and rip them a new one. Except a hand grasps onto his wrist before he can make it past one table.

“San Lang, don’t mind them. It’s no big deal,” XL pleads, tugging on HC’s hand. The taller man willingly turns around, rolling his wrist so he can be the one to hold XL’s hands instead. 

“Gege, how long have you been waiting?” HC asks in a tight voice. XL frowns, not wanting to answer, but he knows HC won’t let it go.

“Just under thirty minutes.“

“Thirty minutes!?” HC exclaims. “The fact that no one told me you were here for nearly half an hour is unacceptable. Oh my god, I’m going to fire them all.“

“No, you’re not. San Lang, calm down. I didn’t tell you I was coming, so you couldn’t have known. I don’t think the server who showed me to my seat even knew who I was,” XL reasons.

He subconsciously pulls HC closer to sitting down at the table. 

“Someone should’ve told them because you’re not just any customer, gege. You’re my HUSBAND. You’re important to me, and I would like my workers to let me know if you’re here regardless if I knew beforehand. I don’t want you to have to wait that long for me to come out and join you.“

“They said you were busy! Plus, thirty minutes is hardly a long time.“ XL tries again. HC insistently shakes his head, gingerly squeezing XL’s hands. 

“Darling, your time is too precious to be wasted like that,” HC says, leaning forward to plant a kiss on XL’s forehead. XL hums as he finally pushes HC down into the chair opposite of his own. 

“Well, you’re here now, right? Why don’t we enjoy a lovely dinner together? My treat!” XL says happily.

Seconds later, two massive dishes of finely-boiled squid and glass noodles, along with spicy wonton soup are placed in front of the two men. It’s the new cook who bows while stuttering out an apology, repeating “I didn’t know- Hua Lao Ban, Xie-xiansheng- I didn’t know- please forgive me.”

XL, being the angel he is, claims there is nothing to forgive. Across from him, HC silently churns in strong disagreement. It takes three servers to make sure everything was up to standard, watching their boss’ expression carefully for any hint of dissatisfaction. They leave in a hurry, the abundance of food making XL’s face light up like a Christmas tree.

“I love you, San Lang,” XL cheers, tapping his chopsticks together excitedly.

HC’s face softens, endeared by his husband’s antics. The incident is far from being forgotten in his mind. After all, from the stories XL has told about the times he was truly struggling in life after the pitfall of his parents, HC has a very good idea of what circumstances XL has had to endure—way worse than waiting thirty minutes for his food and husband to show up. 

XL probably didn’t even expect to see HC tonight. And that is still absolutely inexcusable. XL is HC’s number one priority, even above all of his businesses.

But for now, HC supposes he can put it off to share a wonderful meal with his husband.

“I love you too, Gege,” he responds, shoulders relaxing.

However, an offending, black, leather folder captures HC’s attention. It’s tucked into a corner on XL’s side of the table, unopened. HC already knows what it is without having to look closer.

“Gege…”

“Hmm?” XL looks up with his mouth full of noodles.

“Did they charge you for the meal?” HC asks slowly, barely contained fury simmering beneath the surface. His eye pins the flutes of his favorite drink he hasn’t touched. “And the wine?”

XL chews methodically, cheeks puffing from how stuffed they are. If anyone who cared about eating etiquette were watching him, they no doubt would be utmost appalled at such a messy display. HC would curse them to hell if they dared said or did anything.

XL finally swallows, licking his lips.

“There’s nothing wrong with charging me,” XL says. HC’s nails dig into his skin as his hands clench into balled fists. “What if I just want to support my husband?”

HC inhales deeply, then exhales heavily.

“Gege does that enough by being married to me. Look, I’ll be right back-“ HC abruptly stands up. He swoops in to kiss XL on the lips, pecking three more times which makes XL giggle. HC then quickly blows cool air on the spoon XL holds mid-air with his hot soup. 

Without another word, HC storms back towards the kitchens. The other cooks actively avoid their boss, bowing profusely if they happen to cross paths with him. HC doesn’t say anything to acknowledge their remorseful actions. For the next ten minutes, he continues instructing the team as if the mishap hadn’t even happened. 

Apologizing won’t be enough, they all know this. They kept not only XL waiting for thirty minutes but also the other customers that entered after him. However, XL had been waiting for the longest as he was a walk-in customer, which made it all the more displeasing for HC to find out his husband had not received the special treatment he deserved. 

The orders have slowed down enough for HC to snap his fingers as a signal for everyone to line up. When all the cooks are appropriately assembled, HC doesn’t hesitate to hurl the folder with the check onto the main island in front of them. 

“Who was it?” HC asks icily. No one utters a sound. The CEO reaches over to yank out the white paper filled with prices. He points to it, eyeing every single one of his employees. “Tell me. Who gave this to him? Who charged him for his meal when I have specified numerous times to never–and I mean NEVER–bill him.”

It’s so quiet in the kitchen, the guests closest to the kitchen doors can probably hear HC scolding his cooks, beyond livid. HC couldn’t care less, as long as XL was outside of hearing range and slurping down his soup with a content tummy. He’ll have to make it up to XL on his own accords, first by taking his husband home to have uninterrupted one-on-one discussion.

The newer cook who HC has distinguished as Hai Ye shuffles uncomfortably, looking like a child guilty of disobeying their parents’ order. Someone has yet to speak up to confess or snitch, meaning they would rather face punishment collectively than risk one person receiving full blame. While HC is one thread away from blowing his top off, he buries the nasty curses down inside his chest. He knows what it’s like to receive unfair consequences for things he didn’t knowingly do wrong. 

Instead, HC forces his temper to cool down. 

“Seeing as these were a series of mistakes that everyone here has contributed to, I’m canceling janitorial services and assigning all of you cleaning duty,” HC declares, crossing his arms. “I don’t know what else it will take, but this must not happen again. With Xie Lian or with the backed-up orders. We are better than that, understood?”

“Yes, Hua Lao Ban,” the cooks recite resolutely. HC grunts with a tone of finality. He quickly snatches his long coat, taking out his wallet and stacking the amount of money needed to cover XL’s check. 

“Good. We can move on from that. Finish the night on a reasonable note. Additionally, can someone fetch me a to-go box and cup?” HC asks as he unbuttons his chef blouse and throws it into the hamper off to the side. HY is the closest to the to-go boxes, so he instantly abides by HC’s request. The CEO offers HY a nod of gratitude. Then, he’s out of the kitchen, long coat thrown loosely over his lanky frame. 

Between the few orders they have to complete, HY witnesses HC personally box up his and his husband’s food. XL eagerly holds HC’s hand when he’s done, pulling the taller man towards the front door to go home. Before leaving, HC gives the head chef, HX, a menacing glare as if to say, “You better have things under control.”

The CEO of Crimson Embers walks out of his restaurant with a gentle hand resting on his husband’s lower back. They disappear through the front glass doors, subtly leaning into each other’s space, content to be together after a long day apart. 

Bonus:

When the other branches hear about the incident, they hang up a framed picture of XL with HC, making sure to point to XL’s face for new employees saying, “If this man enters the restaurant, show him to his seat and then tell Hua Lao Ban immediately. Get him everything he asks for. NEVER charge him for his orders.”