#also this is where i start talking about myself

[power-handmaiden]

Chuck Tingle interview

OK, here is the FINAL 2024 Tingles My Butt post, which I've been pretty hyped for. I still kind of can't believe this. While I was figuring out how I'd move on from 2024, @drchucktingle generously offered to answer some questions of mine to commemorate the end of my tingler project! Here they are!

-Considering that your process for tinglers is just to write it out and not stress about proofreading and editing, was it weird for you to see someone decide to go back, examine, and contemplate every single tingler published in the past decade?

the whole dang project was really wonderful for me, for exactly the reason you have just said. tinglers are very STREAM OF CONSCIOUS and only edited with one quick pass so while i think this adds to their honesty and rawness it also means that my time with them is limited. really watching someone go back through them at this depth was like reading a diary that i have not opened for many years, and it jumps around through time in a very beautiful way. it was very moving

-I love tingler character names. I personally admire how many great ones you come up with. (I never know what to name my ttrpg characters.) You just come up with all these great names that seemingly spring from nowhere, how do you do it?

DANG great question cant believe i have not been asked this before but yes there is a type of name that shows up in the tingleverse that is unusual and has a certain feeling and cadence that is very specific. if i am trotting along with sweet barbara and there is a name of a product or a place or something that has this tone we will say ‘oh thats a tingleverse name.’ the reason i wanted to do this in the books was as a very subtle way of saying these stories exist on a timeline that is RIGHT next to ours, so in some ways it is exactly the same as our world but there are these little cultural differences with things like chocolate milk and spaghetti and then with the names. you will have buckaroos like justin and sarah trotting along next to buckaroos named corb torbins-quill or borto lart.

-So, as a reader, reading from 2014 to now, old tinglers and new tinglers feel different to me. I believe you when you say tinglers have always been sincere, but they feel MORE sincere than they used to be. Like, I feel like there was some self-consciousness and irony in some of the early tinglers that you've since let go of and embraced the Chuck Tingle voice more. I don't know, am I imagining this, or does this square with your tingler writing journey? If it does, what has that process been like for you?

i think you are absolutely correct. the intention with tinglers was always to be a place for me to express myself with complete sincerity, but the practical way of HOW to trot like this took a bit of an evolution to arrive at. in other words i knew the basics, but actually refining the best way to express yourself and perform your art takes time. maybe in the same way goin back and watching season one of a tv show can feel very different from season three, even though they are part of the same expression. 

similar thing happened with in my chuck PRESENTATION as well, where my main focus was to stay anonymous so the metaphors i used to talk about my life were still true but laid on much thicker. even my attire was a large gi so that you would not even be able to see my shape, which has obviously changed now because i wear suits these days. all of this was a process of starting in a place i knew was important to me and then peeling off the parts that were not helping the message or expression over time

-Is there anything you could tell us about the significance of Borson Reems? I feel like he's more than just another Buck Trungle/Chuck Tangle/etc but I'm not sure what exactly...

yes borson reems is god. not that i believe in GOD in the way that most buckaroos talk about god (i am agnostic) but within the tingleverse, borson reems is an avatar for the creator of that world. technically i am borson reems, because i am writing the books. the question is: are we all the gods of our own little worlds that we create? i do not know, but when i look around at my buds and the joy and love they bring to various timelines they sure seem like gods to me

-A lot of no-sex tinglers (especially ones that aren't romance-focused) vary in terms of plot and structure a lot more than erotic tinglers. Is your writing process for these stories any different?

same process actually, but the sex scenes in tinglers are about 1500 to 2000 words long, and total tingler length is 4000 words which means if you are not including that portion you are going to have to come up with some creative way to fill that space in the story and a new axis for story to turn on. so the variety comes from me getting creative and trying out different axis points

-In "Not Pounded By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Non-Fungible Tingler That Is Literally This NFT" Because Of The Current Catastrophic Environmental And Ethical Impact" there are references to an earlier draft of the story that was never released because you ended up disagreeing with the message. Are there any other tinglers that never got finished and/or published, if you'd be willing to talk about any of them?

oh this is a VERY good question. the story of the NFT tingler is that when buckaroos were first talkin on nfts online and nobody really knew what they were, my first thoughts were just ‘oh this is interesting what the heck is this?’ this is my way with most CURRENT EVENTS. and i thought ‘this would be an interesting tingler, i suppose maybe i should make the tingler an ACTUAL nft’. this was in VERY early days so i did not really even understand what an nft was (neither did 99 percent of buckaroos yet honestly). so i looked into it just enough to actually MAKE a nft tingler that was a real nft and put it out. lasted for about thirty seconds before buckaroos were messaging saying ‘oh this is bad chuck you should look into what this is’ and i DID look into it and thought’ oh yeah this is terrible nevermind’. i took down the original and thought ‘well THIS is what art is all about. this is where i thrive in a world of moving living art that is in communication with itself’. so i dove into the research and actually started to understand NFTS and then i repurposed the story into a strongly anti-nft tingler and put that on out instead.

as far as OTHER tinglers that kind of move and breathe and live like this, in communication with the audience, GAY T-REX LAW FIRM is another very good example. that one i wrote early on and i think it was kind of in the model of something like fifty shade of grey, where issues of kink and consent and communication are not really handled well. i think at the time it came out the story was okay, but as time went on it always kind of bothered me and finally i thought ‘i love art that exists in the REAL WORLD and changes and evolves, so lets rewrite that story and fix some of these mistakes.’ honestly it is something i wish more artists would be open to. its okay to let something hold strong against a changing timeline, but it is also okay to explore what its like to take the notes that time gives us

-This one is about Chuck Tingle that exists in deeper layers of the Tingleverse that operate on tingler logic: what does the location inside his/your butt look like?

probably a nice mid-century modern home up in laurel canyon neighborhood of los angeles. kind of quiet and small like a cabin but also very cozy, like the kind of place where you would put on a crosby stills nash and young record on vinyl and gaze out into the woods for a while then walk down the hill for dinner at a little cafe where you spot some actor from a 60s tv show also having dinner in the corner booth. this basically sounds like the start of a tingler and in that tingler i will say the actor would be a bigfoot.

-OK this one is very self-indulgent but if you could help settle this frequent point of discussion I have with my wife- where do the following fit in the Tingleverse bigfoot/dinosaur/unicorn/living object(/human/does not apply?) taxonomy?

-a ghost of a regular human

-a regular human vampire

-a human/fish mermaid

-a sentient winged horse

-a sentient centipede large enough to wrap around a mountain several times (she is handsome)

alright lets trot through these. a GHOST is not one of the four tingle types so you can have a ghost racecar or a ghost unicorn or a ghost bigfoot. ghosts are outside of the four types and do not have a classification

a VAMPIRE is also outside of the four types. so you can have a vampire bigfoot or, of course, a vampire night bus. does not strictly fall into any of the four main categories

MERMAIDS are technically a long lost species of unicorn I DONT MAKE THE RULES I JUST EXPLAIN THEM. this makes the MERMOPED tingler a little confusing but i had to pick a category and that one went into living object. now that i mention it possibly the only tingler that is technically a double category of unicorn/living object.

WINGED HORSE is easy, thats a pegasus which is a species of unicorn just like a mermaid

a SENTIENT CENTIPEDE LARGE ENOUGH TO WRAP AROUND A MOUNTAIN is an ancient creature, therefore dinosaur tingler

-My other self-indulgent question: do you have a favorite bug? (Or second-favorite if you count Mothman as a bug)

i love finding spiders in the house and giving them a pet because they are doing a good job livin their lives doin their thing. close second would be a pretty ladybug

-Any thoughts on what tinglers will be like in 2025? Do you expect to be writing a lot of political tinglers again, like post-2016?

honestly i really do not like writing specifically political tinglers anymore, and the amount that i write has gradually dropped over time (i think ALL tinglers are political but in a different way). so honestly i think i will write a few political tinglers but not many. my hypothesis on this is that my HORROR NOVELS are very very political and so maybe i get a lot of these ideas out of my system that way now. when it comes to tinglers i just wanna explore my OWN mind and heart and butt more

THANK YOU for these wonderful questions and thank you for your tingler-a-day project it was so moving and powerful. what a treat it was an honor to be a part of something so beautiful. THIS PROVES LOVE IS REAL

[black-crested-jaybird]

I don't know a lot about it myself. But I do know that some places run internet services providers as publicly owned utilities like power or water companies, and this is the model I would like to see become more commonplace. I would also like to see privatised utilities return to being run by cities/counties/states (whichever makes the most sense for a given area).

So for internet access in your area, I would look at how your local utilities are managed. If they are publicly owned, a place to start might be to talk to local representatives on the same governmental level about the possibility of creating a local internet utility. (If you don't have any publicly-owned local utilities, then talking to the representatives about reverting to public utilities for an existing utility is probably a better place to start.)

I live in a city, so my governmental organizations are going to look different from yours, but where I live the city manages (some of) our utilities. Our city has a mayor and an elected council of representatives from different areas of the city. They manage the way the city is run and are responsible for making any changes. We also have smaller, neighborhood-based community councils that act as a kind of delegation to the city council members and a public meeting group where city council members report to the neighborhoods about what's going on in the city that may affect them - construction, ordinance changes, social programs, and so on - and the people in the neighborhoods can tell the city council members what issues are important to them (for example, wanting a new trail, or a stoplight repaired, or local library hours changed).

What I have recently started doing, in addition to subscribing to the local newsaper, is attending my neighborhood council meetings. This helps me stay informed, and will allow me to meet some of the people who are actually responsible for running things in my community. Over time, I may work to support a project I think will benefit my community, or volunteer to serve on the board, or get more actively involved in some other way. I'm trying to pick one issue I care about and focus on that so I don't feel overwhelmed by all the things we COULD be doing but AREN'T.

Since your town is very small, I'm guessing that your local government is probably mostly active starting at the county level, so I suggest starting by looking at who makes county-level decisions and how, and whether there are any sub-county-level organizations that you could become involved with (or at least keep an eye on so you get a feel for how things work in your area).

I hope some of this is helpful, or at the very least encouraging.

Hey do y'all remember several years ago when we were all freaking out about net neutrality being overturned? Well despite net neutrality's win in 2024, a federal court just overturned it.

For those who aren't aware, net neutrality is the simple principle that companies like Verizon and Comcast should treat all web traffic equally – not pick and choose based on who is willing to pay more or who they like best. Big Tech companies obviously don’t like that – which is why they spent millions lobbying against it over the years.

Now, these megacorporations will be able to seize control back over our Internet. The likely result? Throttled access to streaming services, monopolistic pricing that cuts out competition, and a slower, walled off, and less free Internet for all of us.

And unfortunately, rulings like this will only get more common now that the Supreme Court has overturned the “Chevron deference” – giving judges, rather than qualified public servants, a blank check to toss out protections like net neutrality, environmental safeguards, or food safety standards.

When Trump’s FCC repealed net neutrality back in 2017, they gave big corporations total control over our Internet – putting free and open access at risk.

Internet providers responded by exploiting their newfound power to speed up certain websites, and slow down – or even block – others. They failed to provide crucial Internet infrastructure in rural areas, low-income communities, and communities of color. They even slashed firefighters’ Internet access during severe wildfires.

But over 126,000 people spoke out and we were able to reinstate net neutrality – until now.

The time has come again to take action: please sign this petition from Common Cause so we can reinstate net neutrality.

[fatliberation]

Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.

I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/

All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.

first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.

there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.

feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.

I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.

[graveyardgremlins]

WIP ALERT WIP ALERT

What makes death so special that everyone seems so scared to talk about it? It is not as if, in this universe, it’s the end of the line. Not really. If anything, it felt more like the beginning of something.

Now, routine feels like the end of it all. Even when you’re a vigilante and everyday is a surprise, it still feels like slowly withering away. Like, if you stop moving you’re going to start rotting on the spot. But for some reason, people love routine and hate death.

Dick, for example, constantly looks terrified. It’s not obvious, as no feeling in our faces is ever obvious, but I can tell it’s there. He once said, mournfully, that we would bury Bruce like he is now, with jet black hair. The thought upset him, but I still don’t understand why. It’s not as if Bruce cares. Sometimes it feels like he is trying to speed up the process.

And sure, it would suck not to be able to see someone you care about ever again. But if Dick truly is so scared of missing Bruce, he can go knocking on Constantine’s door — or Zatanna’s, or Madame Xanadu’s, or Doctor Fate’s, or Jason Blood’s, or… you get my point — and ask for a seance. Besides, it’s not as if you can say the guy wasted his life. No one on this Earth has more accomplishments under his belt than Batman himself.

So why the long face?

Like, sure I get why they look weird every time I bring up my past death. I was a kid and all that. But they seriously need to stop looking at me like I’m planning to kill myself everytime I bring up my future death. I’m not planning to die any time soon, but what if I do? Are they going to lose their shit again?

I mean, Tim literally cloned his best friend as a manner to bring him back from the dead because he couldn’t cope with him being gone. Not to say I’m terribly worried about the Imposter missing me so much as to clone me, but still. What if I die? Are they going to try to bring me back? Because I don’t think I want that.

Death was easy, you know? It was awful up until the point where it wasn’t. I don’t remember much, but I remember being warm and embraced. And then someone dragged me back screaming and kicking. Then I woke up boiling alive, with the skin falling off my bones in the middle of the Assassin’s League Headquarters.

I’m not particularly excited about being boiled alive again.

No one in this family knows how to let go and Bruce is the worst one. I used to be so mad that his grief wasn’t enough to make him kill the Joker. I wanted him to prove that he loved me like he said he did. But I was a recently deceased and resurrected teenager. I firmly believe that the only reason Jesus reacted better to being murdered is because he was already thirty three. Now, as an adult, I’m less mad.

Bruce deals with grief like this: he doesn’t. He lets it eat him away. I think he likes it, the feeling of rotting from the inside out. Maybe that’s why he likes routine too. I think he has a lot of love inside of him that, instead of showing it, he reschedules it. Like he thinks “tomorrow I’ll show it” and then never does. And when I died, maybe he didn’t have anywhere to put that love anymore. There wouldn’t be any more “tomorrows.” So he just rotted.

It’s why I try not to be jealous about how endlessly patient and affectionate he is with Damian. Or how careful he is with Tim. Or how much interest he takes in everything Duke does. Or how he always listens when Steph talks. Or how he always comes when Cass calls him. At least, I served to teach him a lesson. 

So, yeah, when I got an invitation to a Ghost Ball, I didn’t tell anyone. Because they don’t understand why I linger in the cemetery. They don’t understand why I kill, when they believe I should be the first one to be against death. They don’t understand why I keep talking about dying over and over and over. They just don’t get it.

Also, they would totally ruin this moment for me. I’m sure of it.

How many times do you get invited to a ball? Not those shitass galas the Waynes always go to. A real authentic 1800’s ball. With the lettering cursive invitation, sprayed with some kind of perfume, sealed with a gold wax coat of arms. Not only that! To what was an official celebration to the Ghost King’s 21th birthday.

I didn’t even know there was a Ghost King!

Sure, it’s probably a trap. This kind of thing is always a trap. But they had addressed the invitation to “The Red Knight of Gotham, Avenger of the Damned, Cursebreaker, Three Times Born, Wielder of the All-Blades, the Darkest Star” and, if I am to be honest, flattery will get you everywhere with me.

I’m not entirely sure what the “Darkest Star” was in reference to, but it’s the least of my concern. The theme of the ball was Black, White and Neon Green, which completely fucks up my aesthetic. The last time I wore green I was a Robin and I’m particularly inclined to never wear it again. I’m also not wearing a tuxedo. Maybe a black suit over the armor instead of the usual jacket and a neon green handkerchief.

Now the problem is getting fitted for a suit like that. Every rich motherfucker knows that just sending your measurements to a tailor that never met you in person before is the recipe for a disaster. And sure as hell there is not a single tailor in the Crime Alley. Not that I know of. And there is no way in hell, or heaven or wherever the flying fuck the Infinity Realms were, I’m showing up to a real ball looking anything short of dreamy.

So, I did the reasonable thing and texted Alfred.

If you could come by the Manor, Master Jason, I will see what can be done. He texted back.

There is a theory going around the midst of superheroes that says that the one thing all of the bats have in common is how stubborn we are. It’s true, but I don’t think we learned that from Bruce. I’m pretty sure that’s just the Pennyworth in all of us. That man clearly only still works as a butler at 65 and calls us all “master”, “miss”, “mister” and “ma’am” out of pure stubbornness. I have no evidence of this, but I’m working on the theory that someone at some point betted that he would crack eventually, which is why he hasn’t. That I know of.

So, I showed up at the Manor like he asked me to.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tim asked.

“I live here,” I answered.

“No, you don’t.”

“Unless someone touched my room, which I doubt, then yes, I do.”

“When was the last time you were here?”

“Last week. I dropped by to move all your furniture 1 inch to the left counterclockwise.”

“I knew it! I knew someone was touching my stuff! Steph said I was crazy!”

“You are, but I touched your stuff. Like all of it. Including your Monster collection. You should really clean that, by the way. It’s disgusting.”

“Fuck you.”

Someone cleaned their throat and we both turned around to see Alfred standing in the hallway, looking less than impressed. I’m pretty sure we learned that from him too.

“Sorry, Alfred,” Tim said.

Alfred sighed and then turned his frown towards me.

“What? I didn’t curse.”

He raised one pointed eyebrow and that’s all it took.

“Sorry for touching your stuff, Timberlake,” I said and turned to Alfred again. “Happy?”

“I suppose that will suffice.”

“Yeah, fine,” Tim agreed and moved out of the way to let me in. “Just never do it again.”

“Oh, I’m definitely doing it again.”

“Why?!”

“Dick told me to stop whining and start getting on that, and I quote, ‘big brother grind’, so you and the Demon brat are going to have to endure it.”

“Why not Duke?”

“He is obviously my favorite.”

Tim just groaned and followed us to one of the upstairs closet.

“What are we doing anyway?”

“We are doing nothing. You weren’t invited.”

“Master Jason is getting fitted for a new suit,” Alfred said, ignoring me.

“Why?” Tim asked.

“What are you? A Toddler? Why do you think?”

“Well, you sure as hell aren’t going to the galas—”

“Damn right, I won’t.”

“And you’re definitely not going on a date—”

“Wait, why?”

“Because.”

I turned around to fully face him. “What do you mean ‘because’?”

“Just because,” Tim made a vague gesture with his hand. “You know.”

“No. As a matter of fact, I don’t know.”

“You know,” He gestured again. “Because.”

“Because what?”

“You’re chronically single.”

“What?!”

Tim threw himself on one of the sofas that was turned towards the closet and sank into it. “Chronically single. Chronically, meaning in a persistent and recurring—”

“I know what chronically single means!”

“Then you know.”

“I’m not chronically single!”

“How long ago was your last relationship and how long did it last?”

“That does not mean I’m chronically single! I get bitches all the time!”

“Perhaps, Master Jason, refraining from referring to your partners in a demeaning manner might be the first step to improving your romantic aptitudes.”

“I don’t– I’m not– Ugh!”

“Try this suit on. I think it will be the closest to your current measurements.”

I took the suit from his hand and closed the closet door behind me.

“So,” Tim said, “If you’re not going to a gala, you’re not going to a date, then where are you going?”

“None of your business.”

“It’s not a birthday, because I’m pretty sure none of your friends is an Aquarius–”

He kept talking and I tuned him out. The pants were a bit too tight around the knees, so they would have to fix that, and the jacket sleeves were a little too short. Besides that, I liked the red lining inside, as well as the flower pattern that almost disappeared into the black. It wasn’t very on the theme, and I would risk looking a bit christmassy, but it would be worth it. I did need a neon green handkerchief, though.

“It can’t be Two-Face, because he is still in Arkham and also not your usual target. Black Mask has been quiet, so maybe him,” Tim was, somehow, still talking.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, opening the closet door to let Alfred take a look.

“People you might be planning to make a move against in a place where a suit might be necessary.”

“Maybe I just want a suit, ever thought of that?”

“You’re fitting it over armor,” Tim pointed out.

“Touché.”

“Tt, it’s too tight around your knees,” Alfred commented.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Oh, Alfred? Do you by any chance have a neon green handkerchief?”

Alfred made a face. “I do not own any monstrosity of that sort, Master Jason. Why do you ask?”

“Because the theme is Black, White and Neon Green.”

“Wait, you’re actually crashing a party?”

Alfred sighed and made another disgusted face. “In that case… This suit won’t do.”

“Sorry, Alfred. I didn’t write the dress code.”

“Of course not, Master Jason. I would expect that you would have a better sense for fashion than that.”

“And for your information, I’m not crashing a party. I was invited. Not that you know what that’s like, Stalker.”

“Who would invite you to anything?!”

“Not telling.”

“C’mon!”

“Perhaps the Zegna will look less… clown-like with a neon green handkerchief than the Armani,” Alfred said, mostly to himself.

“Did I hear, Armani?” Selina’s honey-dripping voice came from the corridor, and she poked her head inside the room. “What are you boys doing hiding here?”

“I’m getting fitted for a suit.”

“He is going to a party and I’m trying to figure out which one,” Tim answered at the same time as me.

“Oh! That sounds fun! Do you need help, Alfred?” She asked and slid into the sofa next to Tim.

“I’m afraid I am at a loss, Miss Kyle. The theme of the evening is Black, White and, ugh, Neon Green.”

She made a face very much like Alfred’s own. “Where are you going, Kit Kat? The Riddler’s birthday isn’t until July.”

“Not telling you, either.”

She pouted and pulled Tim’s face near her own, he understood what she was doing a minute later and pouted too. “Please?” They said, like children.

“Nope. Not happening.”

Selina shrugged it off, not particularly bothered, but Tim seemed to still be fixated on the issue. 

“Have you tried that Slim-fit Hugo Boss brown suit, Alfred? I think it will make him look distinguished amongst the neon green aberration,” she said.

“Is it a winter party of some kind?” Tim asked.

“Not giving you any tips, Timmy.”

“Actually, Master Jason, that could help us find a better suit.”

I sighed. “I don’t think it is specifically a winter party. I think it's just a coincidence.”

“So it is a celebration of some kind!”

“I’m. Not. Telling. You.”

“No need. I will find out eventually.”

Alfred brought out the Hugo Boss brown suit and held it up for Selina to see. 

“I think it will clash, Miss Kyle,” he said.

“I think you’re right, Alfred,” She tapped one manicured finger to her lips. “This party is not of someone we know. Is it, Kit Kat?”

I shrugged.

“Why do you say that, Selina?” Tim asked.

“Motherly instincts.”

The door behind them opened again, this time to reveal a mildly disgruntled looking Bruce. His hair was a mess and he was wearing a sweater and sweatpants. He was definitely sick.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Are you sick, old man?”

He sniffed. “Seasonal allergies.”

“Jason is getting fitted for a suit,” Selina answered.

“Oh?”

“And I’m trying to find out why.”

“Oh.”

“You guys are nosy,” I said.

Alfred brought out another slim-fit suit and both Selina and Bruce made a face. “Yes, I imagined so,” Alfred said, disappointed.

“What kind of party is it, chum?”

“Not telling.”

“The theme is Black, White and Neon Green,” Selina said, and both her, Alfred and Bruce grimaced.

“Jason, please tell me you’re not going to the Riddler’s birthday party.”

“Of course, he isn’t, silly. The Riddler’s birthday is July 21st.”

“Oh! Should I send a present?”

“It would be very polite,” Alfred said and Selina agreed.

“If this party is of someone we don’t know then it must be someone you met recently or a very long time ago. But if it was from someone you used to know, you probably wouldn’t be using an expensive suit, and if it was someone new we would have heard of it already,” Tim said.

“What makes you think it is someone we don’t know?” Bruce asked.

Selina raised her hand with a cheeky smile. “If we knew them already, little Kit Kat wouldn’t be so worried about imprrrressing them. We would have embarrassed him already.”

“I’m not worried about impressing anyone.”

“You’re getting fitted for a suit,” she pointed out.

“Yes, because I outgrew all my other suits and I can’t wear them with the armor. It’s not as if I’m buying a new one,” I rolled my eyes.

“If you’re wearing your armor are you worried about being attacked?” Bruce asked.

“Is it a mission then?” Tim asked. “Otherwise, why would you be going to a place where you might be attacked?”

“Good point, champ.”

“I’m not answering any of those questions.”

Bruce pondered for a second. “Have you tried the gray Kiton wool suit? It might null a bit of the neon green.”

“Ooh. Good idea, love.”

“Let’s see if you’re correct, Master Bruce.”

“I’m texting Dick to see if he knows anything.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Father, have you seen Alfred Jr?” Damian’s voice rang from the corridor.

“Not really, Dami.”

“He is probably in that warm spot in the library where the sun hits just right,” Selina said and stretched as if she could feel the warmth from here.

“Thank you, miss Kyle,” Damian poked his head inside. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re welcome, Damian.”

“I live here.”

“Do you?” Bruce asked.

“Do you?” Damian asked, fully walking into the room.

You see? This is why I can’t tell them anything about this ball. Or else they will want to come with, they are nosy like that, I’d have to explain to every cute person I meet why I brought my entire family with me when the invitation didn’t even have ‘plus one’ on it.

Jesus, maybe Selina was right.

“Master Jason is getting fitted for a new suit, Master Damian,” Alfred said and held the gray wool suit.

“Yeah, that doesn’t do it either,” Selina said.

“What is wrong with the suit?”

“The theme is Black, White and Neon Green.” Everyone grimaced at that. They really needed to stop repeating the same thing over and over.

“What is the occasion?”

“Kit Kat won’t tell us.”

“Nope.”

“I’ve talked to Dick!” Tim announced. “He has no idea who could be, but his best guest is someone Jason met with the Outlaws! So I’m going to text Cass, so she can text Artemis and see if she was invited to anything.”

Damian sat on the opposite arm of the sofa and pondered.

“How much have you narrowed it down?”

“Someone we don’t know, someone dangerous, possibly on a mission, not a winter party,” Bruce said.

“Birthday?”

“No gift.”

“Maybe it’s someone I don’t know enough to buy a gift to,” I said, just to throw them off.

The three of them narrowed their eyes at me.

“Yup, talked to Artemis. She doesn’t know anything,” Tim said. “Also Dick is calling.”

He put it on speaker so everyone could suffer together.

“Hey, guys!”

“Hey, chum.”

“Hello.”

“Hey, birdie.”

“Sup?”

“Jesus Christ,” I rubbed my temples. I could feel a migraine coming up.

“Jason! The man, the myth, the legend! Will you tell your big bro where exactly you’re going? I promise to keep it a secret.”

“Not even on your deathbed.”

Alfred brought out another suit. It was also gray and it still did not match neon green.

“C’mon, Little Wing! Don’t be like that! It can be that bad for us to know.”

“It’s out of principle.”

“That reminds me,” Tim said. “Dick, go screw yourself.”

Alfred made a face at that, but didn’t comment anything.

“Wait, why? What did I do?”

“Why did you tell Jason to ‘act like a big brother’? He touched all of my stuff!”

“I’m sure he didn’t touch all of it.”

“Oh, I didn’t look under the bed, but besides that? It will be very funny when you start finding the glitter.”

“What?!”

“Ah, is that why Jon found a lot of superboy merch I did not buy in my closet?” Damian asked. “Well, I must say that is not a good prank. I’m not embarrassed to say I’m my best friend’s biggest fan. Though, he did cry.”

“You say that now, because you haven’t found the bees.”

“What bees?”

I simply smiled. This wouldn’t work on most of my siblings, but Damian was small enough to be fooled and once he believed it, the others would follow.

“I swear to God, Jason. If I find glitter on my clothes I’m putting a skunk inside your house,” Tim said.

There was also no glitter, but now he would check everything first. Forever.

“Why would you do that to a poor innocent animal?” I said, to be contrary.

“Yeah, Tim. Leave the animals alone! It’s not their fault Little Wing started a prank war.”

“Yes, Drake. I’m disappointed you’d even think about this.”

Alfred brought out a deep blue suit. Selina sighed and slumped down the sofa and Bruce shook his head.

“Hey, Dick,” I asked. “Do you have any suits that might fit me and that will look good with neon green?”

“Why do you ask? Don’t tell me Poison Ivy is your plus one.”

“Alright, I won’t.”

“Poison Ivy is light green, not neon,” Tim said.

“And Ivy is too old for you,” Bruce said, pointedly. I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t think I’d have anything either way.”

There was a moment of silence while everyone considered, perhaps the color neon green or perhaps Poison Ivy.

“I figured it out!” Damian shouted suddenly. Selina flinched from the noise, and he apologized quickly. “Sorry. But I have figured it out.”

“What?” Everyone asked. I wasn’t particularly worried, it’s very hard for the little brat to have known about a King I wasn’t even aware of. Though, maybe Ra’s did know it before me.

“Regular-fit Dark Grey Virgin Wool Serge from Hugo Boss,” Damian said profoundly.

“What?” Tim asked.

“The suit that will go with neon green.”

Alfred, Selina and Bruce thought it out. “Yes, I believe that might work, Master Damian.”

“Good job, son,” Bruce said, making my insides twist painfully.

Selina simply raised her hand over Tim’s head so Damian could high five her.

“That still doesn’t answer where he is going!”

“Who would do a Neon Green party? Besides the Riddler, his birthday isn’t until July.”

“How do you even– No, actually, I don’t want to know. Thanks for the help, Demon Brat.”

“You’re welcome. Now tell us where you’re going.”

Fair enough. “To a birthday party,”

“Goddammit! It was the first thing I crossed off!”

“Of whom?”

“None of your business, old man.”

“C’mon, tell us Little Wing.”

“What are we trying to find out?” Duke asked, walking into the room. “And why is everyone here?”

“Jason is going to a birthday party and he won’t tell us who's is jt,” Tim said.

“Oh?”

“And I’m getting a suit fitted.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry, though. I’ll tell you whose birthday it is later.”

“Hey!”

“Wait, why?”

“Yes, why him?”

“Oh, Duke is my favorite.”

Duke smiled innocently at all the people in the room and did a little twirl.

“That’s not fair!”

“Hey, this is your fault. You told me to be an older sibling.”

“Older siblings don’t pick favorites!”

“Of course they do. Damian is your favorite, I’m Cass’ favorite, Duke is my favorite, and Tim is no one’s favorite.”

“Screw you!”

“Don’t worry. When Bruce adopts another one you can be their favorite.”

“I’m not adopting anyone.”

Everyone in the room raised an eyebrow at that — yet another thing they got from Alfred — and Selina patted his hand. “Whatever you say, love.”

Alfred fitted the suit perfectly, to the point where that one guy on twitter that talks about male clothing would applaud. And he did find a neon green handkerchief, though he would only buy it if I promised to burn it afterwards, which I swiftly agreed to. I considered bringing a present, but something I learned from the filthy rich is that it’s always better to look like an asshole rather than a fool.

And so the suit saga ends and the ball saga begins.

One would think that an interdimensional being called the Ghost King would think of better ways to direct his guests towards his party than a set of coordinates and another number, which I quickly realized to be the hour in military time. Of course, one would be wrong. So me, my bike, my beautiful suit and my weapons directed ourselves to the middle of bumfuck nowhere, literally in the middle of Nevada's desert.

God, I am going to arrive at this party covered in sand.

[just-a-ghost00]

What they wish to tell you

Decks used : I don't care oracle, White Numen tarot, Spirit Junkie oracle

Group 1 ⭐️

"My productivity stems from inspiration. When I focus on what brings me joy, my tasks become effortless actions." The Moon, 4 of pentacles, 5 of cups, Abuse of power rx, Party in your heart, Surprise rx

They wish to tell you that they're afraid and unhappy. That they feel powerless within this connection. They feel like they've lost all chances of being with you and that scares them. I get a lot of sadness from this spread. Sadness and regret. They feel unsafe. Like all the fun has been taken away from them. They can't seem to rejoice about the things they used to like or to marvel at life. They have a hard time focusing on daily tasks, seeing the glass half full. They feel uninspired, unmotivated, lost because things aren't as they used to be. They feel like you've changed, whether that's the truth or not. They feel disconnected from you, from people in general. They have a hard time thinking positively. I feel like they struggle with mental health issues at the moment. At the back of each deck we have The High Priestess, Dopamine ? Dopa-go ! & My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me. This person feels like they are not supported by the people around them. They have lost the will to fight for what makes them happy, what they believe in. They're going through a dark night of the soul and they're in a lot of confusion right now. That's also something they try to hide from people around them, including you. They put on a façade but the truth is they wish they could tell you how empty they feel without you. This person wishes they could go back to the times where things weren't as complicated and they could enjoy themselves freely. This person feels like they cannot be themselves freely with their loved ones. For some of you, the person you're thinking of may struggle with their sense of identity. I was picking up on the LGBTQIA2S+ community. For some of you, if your person is a masculine, they may struggle with expressing their feminine side because of societal expectations or pressure from family. I was specifically picking up on Drag Queens and Kings. But more than that I just feel like your person is currently struggling to find their path in life and may be questioning themselves a lot. Which is a very tiring and uncertain time of their life. And they wish they could talk about it with you but for some reason they struggle to do so. Their heart feels very guarded. They are very insecure right now. They have a hard time showing compassion to their own self for what they are experiencing. They may be blaming themselves a lot when they have nothing to be ashamed of. I feel like if this person could change their surroundings maybe they wouldn't be going through such a difficult phase.

Group 2 🍾

"I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world." Death, The Chariot, 3 of swords, Stop doing so much, There's no planet B! , Stand up for yourself rx

The person on your mind wishes to tell you that they feel stuck career wise and they don't know where they stand anymore. This person doesn't feel happy with their professional life as of now and they are afraid to leave whatever situation they're in because they have no idea where they would go or what they would do in such case. This person feels like they don't have what it takes to start over again. They wish they could move on and find something better, get closer to you possibly but they lack the strength and courage to do so. This person feels burnt out by their responsibilities and engagements. They're also afraid of criticism from their peers. On the back of each deck we have knight of swords & Close your eyes, close the curtains and sleep & "Attacking others is an attack on myself. I choose to release this now." They wish to tell you that they do not dare to speak up their mind for fear of rejection. They're afraid of their own light and power, as well as the effects their choices would have on the people around them. They're afraid of the unknown, of "losing" what they're used to. They're afraid of change. They're losing sleep over the fact that no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they think about it, they can't seem to find a way out or a way to change the outcome. On one hand, they know that where they're at right now is detrimental to them. But on the other hand, they feel like if they left whatever situation they're in right now, they would be wasting something beautiful and they could not go back. This person is afraid of taking responsibility and they feel very bad about themselves right now. They're in a dilemma and though they sincerely wish to put an end to this cycle, they can't seem to get themselves out of it. They wish they could tell you how exhausted they are and how hurt they are but they keep it to themselves because they do not wish to burden you with their struggles. Also, for some of you, your person sees you working really hard for your dreams and they're afraid that you're overworking yourself. They wish you would take the time to rest and take care of yourself.

Group 3 🎀

"My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me." 10 of wands, 2 of wands, The Magician, I dare to declare my love, Please leave a message, Spread the love

I really like the energy of this spread. It's such a stark contrast to the other groups. They wish to tell you that, though they have a lot on their plate, you do not leave their mind and they still have a lot of hope for your connection. You are a source of motivation and inspiration to them. You are the reason why they get up in the morning and do their best every day. They wish to tell you that whatever you are going through, they still appreciate you and care for you. That should you need them, even if they're busy with their own things to deal with, they'll make time and space for you, to comfort you and guide you. They wish to tell you that you are so dear to them and that they're working really hard to be able to be closer to you. That may be true especially for those of you that are in a long distance connection. This person hopes to travel so that they can meet you. They're constantly day dreaming about you. They wish to tell you that you're all they care about and that they only have eyes for you. At the back of each deck we have Ace of pentacles, You are here & "Compassion is my compass. I am willing to hold space for the experience of others." The "You are here" card show an arrow pointing to the Earth from an outer space perspective and the Earth is right at the center of the galaxy from that angle. So they wish to tell you that you're at the center of their Universe. You occupy their thoughts at every moment of their life. I get the same vibe from the compassion card. They are willing to adapt and change things in their life so that you can better fit into their world. With this ace of pentacles, they wish to tell you that they would like to start anew with you or give your connection a new turn by making you an offer. I feel like this person would like to be in a relationship with you, regardless of what people may think and despite the challenges this may rise. It's like, no matter what, they're willing to make it work because you mean so much to them. Honestly this is so sweet.

[shabbytigers]

literally not trying to fight here, to be clear.

i don’t use siri or alexa or voice controlled remotes either but that’s mostly because i intensely dislike doing anything via voice. i don’t listen to podcasts, avoid videos where a text alternative exists. idk about robovacuums, are those voice controlled too? but in any case i never really saw the point of those one way or another. i am however considering using claude (at some point when i get it together to formulate a question and figure out how prompts work); you can have conversations with claude via typing, and its sophistication is starting to be interesting to me in a way earlier robots like siri haven’t been. i don’t have some deep fundamental rage or fear about robots. idk.

the real-feeling-to-me fears around data are two things

1. classic identity theft, credit card spoofing or whatever. at this point that feels a lot like major weather events: basic weatherproofing makes sense but i’m not structuring my day to day life around precautions. worst case, there’s a situation and i deal with it. i’ve had two incidents in this last year plus, they didn’t actually get any of my money, there were some unpleasant nuisance phone calls etc but worse things happen in war.

i don’t think that google or facebook or apple or even x is running a literal identity theft mob at scale. so for me this doesn’t connect directly to the question of turning off the ai setting on the iphone photos app y/n. the issue is, will they have a data leak that allows a third party mob to do the thing. but at that point we’re back to ambient systemic risk: yeah, weather events are gonna happen, somewhere

2. hostile government surveillance, as @thatiswhy pointed out, is the other concern.

not sure how much to worry about this irl. if i were trans in texas or florida, lots. in new york or berlin … meh, but with one twitchy eye open? normal [sic] governments, not in the throes of full-blown theocratic fascism, have neither the inclination nor the capacity for this shit. given the state of the u.s. it may become a federal level risk imminently, but granular surveillance at scale in a country of 330 million people is a lot and state capacity has been, is, and will continue to be in the toilet. overcoming the sludge in the way of getting anything done isn’t just a question of tech. it will require extraordinarily motivated, focused, willful villainy and a paucity or dereliction of opposition.

once more, however, i have a lot of just very fundamental difficulty causally connecting the toggle on my photos app to the state coming after me to deliberately and malevolently fuck me up. are there plausible scenarios where the state would actually do that? unfortunately yes. will my photo app toggle make any difference? they don’t need my data in particular, they need tons and tons of aggregate data. clearly they’re going to get tons and tons of aggregate data. furthermore, they’re going to get my data. because there are obviously uncountable other things on a well functioning current-day smartphone and in any ordinary human being’s digital life just generally that can be mined in this manner.

again, we’re now talking about something highly pervasive, systematic and infrastructural. the risk is baked into the system. like, i am not going to kill my online presence everywhere, go full black bloc, take myself right tf off the digital grid, due to this vast nebulous inchoate concern. that would be like spending every hour of every day weatherproofing, never going outside, etc, etc. i’m sure it’s worth it to a person with a highly specific and confirmed reason to worry. i do not think it makes sense for everyone or should be recommended on general principles.

also … see, i actually really like the internet? i don’t think phones or social media are a society-destroying plague? i don’t think it’s terrible or unhealthy or whatever to spend a lot of time on the phone, assuming you do also have other shit going on, etc? i feel like there are pervasive and rising anti-phone attitudes that foster a preexisting inclination to point to the phone as the fons et origo of all evil futures, and it’s maybe coloring risk assessment around this. it’s got that dubious-public-health virtue-and-moral panic feel

also also, it’s all a bit beyond my pay grade, but if you’re looking for something to worry about wrt AI, i gather there’s more interesting/concerning issues available than the question of immediate-term data mining inputs and use cases. vaguely offensive, nuisancey shit like this is just the scurf of capitalism, don’t let it get you down, save some reserves for like real problems imho

Oh _lovely_. Everyone go turn this off:

Enhanced Visual Search in Photos allows you to search for photos using landmarks or points of interest. Your device privately matches places in your photos to a global index Apple maintains on our servers. We apply homomorphic encryption and differential privacy, and use an OHTTP relay that hides [your] IP address. This prevents Apple from learning about the information in your photos. You can turn off Enhanced Visual Search at any time on your iOS or iPadOS device by going to Settings > Apps > Photos. On Mac, open Photos and go to Settings > General.

[marsdql]

lovin’ me was never a sin — n.r﹙西村力﹚

snyopsis ៸ You are torn between falling in love with the enigmatic senior you were supposed to spy on and supporting your close friend from another school. ៸៸ -> masterlist

genre ៸ angst, romance┊ wordcount ៸ 3,5k content warning ៸ miscommunication, dishonesty, emotinal conflict, little toxic, immature┊ not proofread┊lowkey not happy with this one but wtv ៸ ៸

“You need to check him out for me, y/n!” screamed Giselle, your best friend— from the other line. “Okay, okay. So tell me more about this guy and I’ll see what I can do. But you better pay for tteokbokki next time!” you replied. “His name is Ni-ki, he’s only a year older than us, a hot senior.. anyway! I’ll send you a picture of him. He looks a little like you not gona’ lie…”

“Okay, I’ll update you when I see him. Unlike you, my class starts early so… I’ll see you later Giselle.” You hung up the line, placing your phone in your bag as you rushed to school.

You could barely walk in the snow, your shoes soaked because you refused to wear snow boots. ‘That’s it.. I accept my defeat, I’ll be late to my first class after winter break’ you thought to yourself, staring at the path ahead of you and letting out a dramatic sigh.

Before you could finish your dramatic act, you spot something that isn’t white like the snow that’s surrounding you—a tall slim guy struggling in the snow just like you. Though, there was something about him, He looked…. Familiar? That’s when you realized.

You quickly pulled your phone out of the side of your bag, putting your arms in an awkward position as you tried to open and close your bag. You reopened you and Giselle’s chats to check the photo she sent you of the guy she requested you to “keep an eye on”. Just as you figured, there he was, it was him, Nishimura Riki was right infront of you.

Lost in thought, your body shifted closer to him, making him side eye you weirdly. You kept getting closer and closer—until he finally said something. “Uh, do you need anything?” His voice low but deep—making you come back from lala land. “what? What! No.. hah no.. I was just approaching you because I noticed you’re also late to school! Why not walk together right?” You blocked your ears as you spoke, not wanting to let yourself even hear what nonsense came out of your own mouth.

“…Alright.” He said, both of you continuing your walk to school in silence—mostly because you didn’t known eachother but also because of how awkward your only conversation was.

“That’s it for class, make sure to study for the provincial math exam, you guys have 2 days to study everything we’ve learned this semester. Class dismissed” your teacher spoke before the bell rang for lunch.

You walked out of the classroom trying to hold your excitement—excited to see your friends since you couldn’t in the morning.

To your surprise, when you message them asking where they are, they reply saying that they already went to the bus station to go to the mall food court… cafeteria alone it is..

You knew school wasn’t going to be fun when you come back, but you didn’t think it’s be this boring. Just as you were saying that—Giselle messaged you.

Giselle: did you see him?!

You: Yaaah, we were both late to class so we walked to school together. We didn’t talk tho.

Giselle: omg(!(!;$$;!(!!!! How was it? Omg was he hotter close up??

You: it was so bad… I embarrassed myself that’s the reason we didn’t even talk. He’s alright I guess… he’s like emo?

Just as you said that, a guy sat next to you. You switched you gaze to him—Ni-ki? Again? Speaking of the devil… You were quick to speak, “hey, why’d you sit here?” You questioned him, a smirk across your face, thinking that he must want to become friends after what happend in the morning—oh but if only you knew how fast that smirk was going to be wiped off your face.

He removed his AirPods, looking back at you with one eyebrow raised and his lips slightly parted. “Were you talking to me?” Your eye lids quickly turning heavy at the embarrassment you just experienced.

“What? No! I mean, yes! Do you understand Uhm.. math?” You made up, “what kind of math?” he asked, to which you quickly answered. “All. Everything. 11th grade math.” “Do you need help?” “Yes, but I don’t know anyone who’s good in math and.. you look smart..?”

You dodged a bullet of more embarrassment. Ni-ki believed it and requested helping you with the math you couldn’t even understand when the teacher explained it. Surprisingly, he could explain pretty well and you understood a few things.

He offered to help you more before the huge exam—adding his number into your phone so that you could message him whenever you have a question you can’t complete.

It had been days since your first incounter with nishimura riki—he helped you pass your math exam which was unexpected since you both never talked. It’s like you guys were destined to become friends.

Everyday you guys became closer. It went from only studying—to walking eachother to class—to hanging out at each others house. Giselle was aware of everything aswell, getting herself excited so that she could use you as an excuse to talk to him.

But you couldn’t lie, feelings started to grow the more and more you both hung out. He was perfect in every way. Whenever you’d go to his apartment that he lived alone in—everything was organised, the Colors all matched. He always smelled good, his hair was never greasy either. He looked good in everything aswell.

When he’d help you with things, he never once made you feel stupid. Everyone knew him as the cold senior but he seemed so nice with you.

Dinnng!

giselle: Are you with ni-ki?

you: No, he just left. Why?

Giselle: oh. em. gee. He’s at the same store as me and this guy but I don’t want him to know I speak to boys…

You: LOL? Why??

Giselle: because when I’ll approach him, he’ll think I have a guy already!!!

You: you’re suchaaa boopppp 🙄🙄

Giselle: homie hopper til i Die 😫

A few minutes later, you heard a knock at your door. You rush to open it—wondering who it is.

It was ni-ki, again. “Hey, I noticed how you’ve been stressing over all the exams coming up next week. So I figured after you left I’d go to the store and get snacks so we can chill and watch movies.” He said, looking down at you, his eyes softer than usual when speaking.

“Come in, ki! You’ll catch a cold.” You giggled as you pushed him inside then dragging him to your room. He was a tease but still had a soft spot inside of him. “Whatcha’ wanna watch? Let me guess, tru-“ “true beauty!” “I knew it.”

Everyday was something new,

- hey y/n, I got you lunch

- Wanna’ hang out tonight?

- Let’s go to the movies

- Did you hear the latest rumor about-

- Do you know how many teeth sharks have?

His excuses became worse than yours—he just wanted to hang out. As much as you wanted to aswell, you knew your feelings for him would just grow bigger. You couldn’t like him though, he was one of giselle’s target—you were just her messenger.

There was only one thing to do, ignore him, no matter what.

“Y/n, wait up.” You heard from across the hallway behind you. You knew that voice—nishimura’s. It was unforgettable—almost making you turn back, but you had to control yourself. You brought this apon yourself, you were only supposed to watch from far, not get close and fall inlove.

You saw him from a reflection, the stupid look on his face. He seemed like he felt dumb, chasing like a dog after you, and for what? You were the one avoiding him, why is he the one who feels bad about himself.

After a week of nishimura trying to get a hold of you, he eventually gave up. He blew up your phone many times knowing you’d never be able to explain your horrible behaviour in person. That’s when you decided to write him one and only message to try and get him to stop;

You: I don’t like you, please stop

It wasn’t normal for you to act this harsh, ever. You never behaved like this but you know deep down that him trying to get your attention just makes you think about him more. You made it seem in your message that you didn’t want him to text back, but really—you hoped he’d make an argument so that you could act clueless, just so you have an excuse to yourself, to message him a little more.

read yesterday

Fast forward, 2 weeks before the end of the school year.

It was soon to be exam week, but it was different this time—you didn’t have a miracle pop up to help you like last semester.

You were at the library, waiting for Giselle and your other friends from school—including some that go to giselle’s. As you were waiting, your eye kept shifting to the couch infront of you—where ni-ki was at.

You and ni-ki used to always study at this library, that’s mostly why you came here. He always kept to himself and stayed with the unpopular people—people you didn’t know, so you never had the chance to ask anyone about him. You knew nothing about him anymore. Your friendship with him ended as fast as it started—reminder, all. because. of. you.

A few minutes later, you spot Giselle and her friends walk in. “Omg! Y/n!!! Long time no seee! When was the last time we hung out? March break? It’s been sooo long.” Said one of the girls as she ran to hug you. “Hii ellie, yah it’s been a while heh..” you replied. Giselle watching in amusement and joining in “okay get off her, I wana’ sit next to my cutie y/nnieee”.

“Hey, Giselle. Psst, Giselle” Whispered Ellie. “What is it?” “Who’s that guy from across us? Don’t make it obvious, just pretend you’re looking at the painting behind him..” You realized she was talking about Ni-ki—and without thinking, you talked back—“that’s Ni-ki!” You said in excitement, as if you were waiting to get a chance to talk about him.

Giselle looked a little shocked at your tone of voice who seemed to be said with a little more enthusiasm than intended. “Yeah, that’s Nishimura Riki” she told Ellie. “Wait, wasn’t that one of the guys you wanted to try and hook up with?” Hanni questioned, another girl who was at the table.

Your ears went from big to huge the second she asked that question, wanting to know her thoughts about ni-ki now. “Oh yah, but he’s too.. I don’t know he’s too mysterious. Need’ me a frat boy like Lee Heeseung or Sim Jaeyun. Plus, he’s leaving soon.” What? He’s leaving? “Where is he leaving to?” you asked, to which she replied “Japan, his homecountry.”

You stared at him from across the room, analysing his every move, hoping he’d look back at you.

You waited until all your girl friends left—obviously, ni-ki still there—studying to make sure he gets well. Unlike you, he got all the hard subjects second semester—and being a senior Doesn’t help it.

You stood up, feeling a little weird. You were the one disrespecting him, yet you’re the one going back to him. You had your reason for what you did, but it was never a valid reason.

You walked towards him, his gaze still focused in his books. As you got closer, he instinctively looked at you, following a long eye roll from him.

You thought he was going to speak, maybe ask what you want from him, but he didn’t say anything— he just, stared at you.

“I-im sorry, ni-ki.” You mumbled. His eyebrows furrowed, “don’t you think you’re a little late?” He said, chuckling to himself, all the memories coming back to both your minds. “I-I know I was wrong, I swear I had a reason! It seemed important to me back then but—I realized now how stupid it was and I’m just sorry, okay? You don’t need to forgive me but—“

“Y/n” he interrupted you, taking your wrist and sitting you down next to him. He let you adjust in place before he leaned in, his lips slightly brushing your ear, “if you’re so sorry, then explain everything.”

“No.. I can’t say it, it’s just—personal.” You couldn’t tell him that your friend liked him, that’s like … betraying Giselle! “Fine then, whatever.” He spoke, his voice turning cold.

You and him sat there in silence. He went back to his work as you just sat there. He didn’t order you to leave, he didn’t leave, you didn’t excuse yourself either. You figured to just open your books and pretend study again—just so you could sit a little longer with him.

You started drawing random doodles on a paper to make it seem like you were working, it’s not like ni-ki would take a glance at your papers anyway, right? He didn’t care.

You started thinking to yourself, ‘how could you I ever tell ni-ki why I acted like that? I miss him so much. Why did Giselle ever have to lay her eyes on him?’ Not realising that you were actually writing down your every thought onto the paper until ni-ki shifted a bit in his seat, making you come back into reality and quickly scribbling on everything you wrote.

the day of flight xxx

It’s finally summer. But it feels as if a rock has just landed on your head. You won’t see Nishimura anymore in the hallways, you won’t see him for a while actually. Deep down, the thought made your heart ache. Matter of fact, you don’t even know when he’ll be leavi-

Notifications — INSTAGRAM -> Choi Soobin posted a photo: Goodluck in Japan, Dude!

Now? He’s leaving.. now?! Before your brain could process anything that was happening, you jumped from your bed, took your keys and sprinted to the car.

As you walked into the airport, you realized what you just did. You just drove to the airport for ni-ki—the guy YOU ghosted—the guy that gave you a chance to speak after doing him so wrong, yet you still chose not to. There’s no going back anymore.

You were able to track his flight on this app you had, so you know he still hasn’t boarded his plane yet. Though, one thing you couldn’t track was—his gate number.

Luckily, the world was on your side today—spotting Soobin just as you were thinking of plans on how to find Ni-ki in the huge airport. You sprinted towards him. “Soo-SOO-SOOBIN!” You panted, attempting to catch your breath after running. “NI-KI..! GATE? WHERE” You questioned, your hands gripping his shoulders aggressively—unable to form a full sentence.

To which he respond with, “woah, ‘wonder what you’re doin’ here.. calm down, Gate B3” “THANK U”

you ran all over the airport, you asked 3 different workers, just to find his gate. It’s too late to make effort now, but you couldn’t imagine riki leaving without you seeing him again and giving a proper goodbye.

After running around like a lost dog, you finally did it—you found him. He was sitting in the corner of lined seats at the gate in the back, near the window, his eyes glued to his phone.

You ran to him, the sound of your heels against the floor making everyone stare at you—including ni-ki who raised his eyes from his phone, surprised to see you.

“Ni-ki..” you muttered, your voice cracking a little. You didn’t expect yourself to get emotional so fast. “Ni-ki, I’m so sorry—Im sorry for everything. I know what I did was wrong. I’m sorry. Someone else liked you and I know I couldn’t like you aswell , I’m sorry” You continued, “I didn’t want to stay with you because I felt as if I was just playing a game since I knew we could never get together but now I don’t care anymore.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry” you spat out all at once. You didn’t even know if the words came out right from the amount of stuff you had in mind.

“Why are you saying sorry?” The black haired boy said as he chuckled, standing up and towering over you—slowly brushing off hair strands that sticked because of the tears that you ugly-sobbed out. You looked at him in confusion. “W-why—hic—why are you laughing?..”

he pulled you into a hug, his arms overlapping themselves on you. “Why are you apologising?” He pulled away slightly to look at you with a smile, “you can just say you like me.”

“By the way.. I saw what you wrote the other day in your notebook. You're so stupid..”

BONUS:

rikiwasntcatched: okay guys thanks she came to me and I think we’re inlove, it’s like some kdrama type shyt’

wonbinparkk: did it actually work?

partyneedssoobin: hell yah man. I’m telling you she was goin’ crazy when she saw me. She’s inlove with niki bro. Now all u gots to do is hide out for 2 days then say you’re comin back to Korea and boom problem solved

younghooney: hold up, kiki isn’t actually going to japan?

Rikiwasntcatched: she was so cute she was crying I was like gang chill I still love u or whateverrrrr I know I’m so handsome but no need to sob about it

partyneedssoobin: LOL we both won, I got Giselle and u got y/n from this incident.

wonbinparkk: who tf tells their bf about their old huzz? That’s like mad weird…

rikiwasntcatched: a win is a win what can I say. Movie night?

Younghooney: why am I being ignored

partyneedssoobin: chat my application to Harvard just got declined wtf

[stardrop-sims]

so, why did I delete my old blog? The short answer is I banned yin-shimo/tianshi88 from my now defunct occult simblr server and his friends proceeded to spin a narrative on tumblr that was false. In the moment it was not worth it to me fight back, but I am back and I am fighting for what I think is right–sharing what happened and why we chose to ban him in the first place. 

If you want the full details, I am going to lay it out under the cut but bare with me, I have never had to defend myself like this, and never thought I would. You can view this as drama or whatever, idc. I just want to say my peace and not have to think nor talk about this ever again.

Also, do not harass the mods if you know who they were. Do not harass anyone shown in the screenshots, they are only shown here for transparency sake. 

cw: homophobic rhetoric, harassment, sexualization of a minor mention

A few months ago I made the occult simblr, baby! discord server. It was public so anyone could join and there was no way for me to guess how many people would end up joining! (Almost 80!) I am thankful for the learning experience but it ended on a sour note. 

One of the users who joined goes by tianshi88/yin-shimo, a known cc creator in occult simmer circles, but to be frank, I was completely unaware of this person until yin-shimo joined my server and occasionally talked.

Some time goes by, and one of the mods suggests we create a server blog to reblog our users’ content! I say yes. It was a good idea, but an anonymous ask came in (screenshot below). This is where things go south. I made the call to reply publicly, which I regret, but only because a few people made it way more trouble than what it was worth.

So let's talk about the claims and what we (the mod team at the time and myself) found out—the initial post by yooniesim (link to his post about it, which he gave me permission to link here!) The allegation is about sexualization of a fictionalized minor in the anime/manga Blue Lock. Yin-shimo himself claims this pose is done by the character in the media itself. The character in question is a teenager. I hate that I am explaining this here but ahegao is essentially a sexual pose from hentai (anime porn). It is my opinion that media portrayal of this kind of thing is weird at best, dangerous at worst. The fact that it is a reference to it is a problem in of itself, but ultimately we decided this behavior was weird (as well as his actions following the initial callout about it) and it was best to remove him from the server and we made a brief statement in the server given the circumstances surrounding it. I do not have the screenshot for this server announcement nor our reply, but nowhere did in the original ask nor in the replies we made as mods, did anyone call him a pedophile. We stated “sexualized a fictional character” because that’s what it was. 

However, worth noting there are other things he has done, which imo are worse than what I am detailing here, as referenced in Yoonie’s linked post, that added to the decision to ban him, which can be triggering to read about, so fair warning! 

The next day I considered deleting the ask of the blog to not create drama out of something serious, but I didn't before I received a reply from puppycheesecake.

I do not have the screenshot but they essentially accused us of framing him as a pedophile–this is where I became aware of yin-shimo’s sexuality/pronouns for the first time and said we were participating in a witch hunt of a gay man started by “one person” ( the anon).

My response was to delete the ask and block them. I would have responded and told them to stop lying, because that’s what they were doing. But as a queer person, being accused of that triggered me on top of everything else so I deleted the ask and the mods and I made the decision to make a second statement to tie up loose ends in the server.  We turned off anon asks on that blog, and the day after i decide to take a break, what happens?

This reblog of a shitpost on my personal blog, on a post in which I  am talking about how much I love simblr shows up in my notifications—

That was the moment I was done. You’re not going to come onto my blog with lies and try to spin a narrative when it’s very clear you are more interested in protecting your friend than what is true.

most of the mods, including me, are trans/queer, so fuck off with that “gay man is a pedophile” narrative that you’re weaponizing. 

I didn't know yin-shimo’s pronouns nor sexuality, nor did it come up when the mods and I made the decision to ban him from the server.

This behavior is childish–something like this should have never happened in an 18+ server, nor should this have turned into drama, and yet here we are. 

As for “only one person” (as referenced by puppycheesecake)—once we made the call to ban him, several people came forward to tell us his presence made them uncomfortable in the server, so I think we made the right decision in the end. 

Ultimately, yin-shimo is upset he has to face consequences for his own actions and used his friends—neither of which were in the server—to do his dirty work. 

I regret answering the question publicly but I am not sorry for banning him, nor will I apologize for what we did not do–which is what is alleged in what context I have provided. I am going to reiterate that not once did the mods call him a pedophile. 

To everyone else, it is up to you how you want to curate your online space and who you want to interact with. I am not making that decision for you, but hopefully this clears things up.

[ghostmoon1]

You know what, to start the year off, Imma make this lil appreciation post.

Now it's only been like, less than a year since I joined Tumblr about, I've been writing and drawing for years before this point, but the community here, especially the CoD community which I am mainly apart of just made me feel amazing. Everyone I've met here are some of the nicest people.

I have gotten my old hobbies back, giving me reason to write and draw again which have majorly helped with my own mental health, and now I just wanted to give the amazing people a shout out to start the year off, to hopefully make peoples days, and to just let them know that I appreciate yall!

In no specific order :3 and if you don't wanna be pinged again by me, please let me know and I won't!! No harm done, I hope this is okay :) and this is prob gonna be cringe or smt.. all sappy but like.Yeah here yall are lmao-

Putting them under the cut as there are a few :3

@gomzdrawfr - You've been a massive influence since I joined the CoD community, I adored your art from the very start, and your just such a sweet and kind person, one that I'm so thankful to have met, and so proud to be able to call you my friend. You're the first proper friend I've made here, and I can't tell you how much our talks make me smile every single time. And I'm also so thankful for the community you have sorta helped me get into, you've helped me feel comfortable interacting with more people here :3

@shadeops21 - You were honestly the person that got me to join Tumblr! I was looking for something to try and make my own Konig cosplay (that's been given up on bc motivation and Tik Tok just. yeahhh) and I found you, and all your amazing work! I basically made my account to see if you'd make any more, cause I just love what you do so much, it's got to be so helpful for so many people!!

@sleepyconfusedpotato - After Shadeops, you were the very second person I found here! And oh my gosh how much I obsessed (and still do) over your art, especially Jade. You inspired me to write my first ever fic on here, actually, where I made my first CoD oc ship with Soap, your art and what you do honestly helped me feel comfortable making something like that for myself, cause some of the toxic people on Tik Tok made me uneasy and unsure about that lol- And now, I finally have an OC I'm working in depth on, and you're my biggest reason to thank for that.

@soaps-mohawk - Your writing has inspired me so much, and I couldn't thank you enough for making your wonderful fic. I may not be like, a OG, but I've been there since around chapter 20 I think? I could be wrong, but half way through sorta. You are the biggest reason I started writing again here, you just create masterpieces. And this is the first time I've ever been hooked into a fic so much, and what got me into liking the Omegaverse (you hooked me and I can't let go of it now...) Thank you for taking your time with your writing, and thank you for all the inspiration you have given me.

@on-a-lucky-tide - Oh my gosh how much you have yanked me into the Nikprice community. I adore every single one of your writing pieces, and honestly, you are another who has helped inspire me to write more. All your writing is so filled with emotion and love, I want to be able to do that as well. Your a wonderful person, I've seen you interact with this community and everyone, and I just adore you as a person and all the hard work you put time and effort into creating.

@rainyrambles-overcod - I adore your oc's and rambles so much!! And I couldn't tell you how happy it makes me to have a friend that is okay with the tag games, I never know who to tag for those sorta things, but I actually feel okay tagging you and they are so fun and always brighten my mood :3 Keep creating, I can't wait to see what else you come up with. Thank you for all the tag games and fun!!

@nekrosmos - Yet another that has helped drag me into the Nikprice community or cult ig that too. Your art is absolutely amazing, I truly want to be able to draw like you do. Just everything about your art has me in awe, the emotion, the style, the love everything. Seeing your art brings me so much happiness! Oh and your writing is BEAUTIFUL. That also brings me joy to take a little time out of my day to sit and read the time and effort you put into everything, and how kind of a person you are. I always hope you'll keep creating, and always remember how much joy you bring both myself and others.

@daredaredoodles - I know we don't interact a whole lot, but you honestly mean a lot to me still. You were my first ever mutual on this site, and I will be forever grateful for this. Personally its anxiety that stops me from barging into peoples Dm's and talking, but yeah. Thank you for that, even if it is only a small thing.

@cricricorner - you were my first follower, and I still see you in my notifications from time to time, which always brings me joy! It's wonderful to see your followers still interact with your content, and I couldn't say how grateful I am. I couldn't tell you how happy I was to gain my first follower here, so thank you for taking your time to read my writing and see my art.

@daydreamsareallineed - You were pretty much the first person to show so much interest in my main fic!! And oh my gosh I couldn't ever tell you how much joy it brought me to read your comments, to have someone so interested in my writing, that personally I didn't even think was that good. I haven't given up completely on the fic dw, I'll hopefully update it soon! Motivation just go brrr. Thank you so much for all your support, it means the world to me.

And another shoutout to everyone who supports me, who follows me, and to every single one of you that like and reblog my content. I look through every single note I receive, I assure you none of you are left out.

And my final shoutout to everyone that creates on this site. The community here is like nothing I've ever experienced before. I adore scrolling through everyone's art, it all makes my day. I've never felt so comfortable and unjudged before. Thank you to everyone who contributes to this, you all make my day <3

This turned out a lot longer than I meant it to be- but I just wanted to share how I felt with this new year. I'm sorry if you'd rather not be pinged-

But have a lovely day :3 I love you all!!

[captainlunaxmen]

Dragon's Healer

Chapter 3

Daemyra x female!reader

Dark!Aemond x fem!reader

This chapter is shorter, mostly in preparation for the next one... which is going to be hard...

Chapter summary: Viserys' death creates more plots than expected

Chapter wantings: none in particular, maybe being locked, threat of forced marriage.

Tag list

@k1ttybean

@tojisrealwifey

@sinarainbows

I walk quickly to my chambers, I can't help the feeling of being watched, the way Aemond talked to me was anything but sweet. Almost terrifying.

I close the door as quietly as possible, hoping to finally get some proper rest, I couldn't even leave with Rhaenyra and Daemon, I did promise Alicent to stay with her.

"Why being so sneaky, my love?" Daemon's voice startles me.

"Shit!" I exclaim and put my hand to my chest to calm my heartbeat.

"Hey..." he says softly, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I say immediately, "nothing, where's Rhaenyra?"

"She fell asleep... a lot happened today." He walks closer, "love, is something wrong?"

"No, of course not." I chuckle.

"What did he say to you?" He asks, turning serious.

"Nothing, my love." I say, not meeting his eyes, focusing more on my dress, eager to just take it off and get some sleep.

I can sense him considering me for a moment before he stops my movement, gently making me turn to look at him.

"You're not staying here." He firmly tells me, I let out a deep sigh, turning away from him again.

"I promised Alicent." I say, sitting to take off my shoes.

"Like I give a fuck about that bitch." He scoffs, "you're not staying here."

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much." I snap back, catching myself remembering Rhaenyra's sleeping not far from where we are, I lower my voice, "I can handle whatever crush he might think he has."

"Oh... so I was right, wasn't I?" He smirks, but the clench in his jaw tells me his demeanor is far from playful.

"Yes, fine... you were right." I wave him off, "but it's simply a crush, Daemon, I can handle it."

"Well, I'm not comfortable with you staying here on your own." He says firmly.

"Gods, Daemon!" I whisper yell at him, standing to face him properly, "I'm not a child anymore."

"Exactly." He says, softly. "You're a woman. You're my woman, and it's my duty to protect you."

"I don't need protection here, Daemon." I take his hands, "you taught me how to defend myself, do you not trust your own teaching?" I tease him, to ease his nerves.

"Oh, I trust them very much, I simply don't trust the snakes inhabiting this castle." He makes me hug him, so our faces are closer.

"I know, my love, but I gave my word." I say firmly, "I'm staying. Stop worrying."

He sighs, he kisses me then looks mw dead in the eyes.

"If I hear... that something happened... I will burn each one on them. You hear me?" He tells me.

"I do." I give his lips a peck, "I know you will."

--------------

I managed to sneak into my chambers before someone could notice me sounding the night with the Princess and her husband. We said our goodbyes before they left too.

I also managed to get some more sleep before a bad feeling woke me up suddenly.

I decide to just sit by the window and take some time to think. I feel like something wrong, but I can't seem to put a finger on it.

It could be the conversation with Aemond yesterday, but it doesn't seem to be all.

There's some tension in the air too, I look out the window, down to the stairs, there's no one. It's empty.

My eyes catch movement, I quickly look up noticing I can see Rhaenys' chamber from mine. She too is looking out and she too looks tense.

We lock eyes. There's some warning in hers, she even motions me to look down, to pay attention. Like on cue, people start to walk down those stairs, taken somewhere by the guards.

I look up at Rhaenys again.

"Check your doors." She tells me, a sense of dread invades my body as I immediately rush to the doors. I try to open them.

Locked.

I rush back to the window.

"Locked." I tell her, "what's going on?"

"I have my theories... and I think you'll agree." She says, with heavy tone.

I nod and look down one last time, and when I notice Rhaenys is not there anymore I go back to the doors, giving it another shot at opening them.

I push and pull with all my strength, but unfortunately it definitely, definitely locked.

"Fuck." I curse. I go to my own luggage and look through my things. I must have something to help me open the doors.

Something must've happened to the king. It's the only explanation I can think of. But those people being moved somewhere... something worse is happening.

I stop my movements as I hear the doors opening. Finally.

I turn around, my eyes landing on Alicent, and her look is enough to explain everything to me.

"Lady Y/n." She says, I can hear the grief in her voice.

"Your highness..." I nod, "don't tell me."

"I'm afraid I can't accommodate you." She says, she tries to keep a strong appearance as she gets closer, taking my hands, "lady Y/n, I have a favour to ask."

I see her desperation, I squeeze her hands to reassure her.

"Anything." I say softly.

"I... I'm..." she stutters, "I'm here to ask your support."

"My... support?" I ask, the dreadful sensation is back, so I retreat my hands.

"Your support for Aegon's claim to the throne." She finally says.

"Aegon..? What... what are you talking about?" I say putting distance between us.

"Y/n, please..."

"No." I shake my head, "what..?"

"It was Viserys' wish." Alicent states.

I look at her, shocked, I don't believe her words. It can't be.

"I don't believe you." I say.

"It's true." She insists, walking to me, forcefully grabbing my hands, "please, you have-"

"I don't have to do anything." I grit out, "you want to usurp Rhaenyra's birthright. Are you listening to yourself? That's your father's idea, isn't it?"

"Y/n, in memory of our past friendship, I'm asking you for help." She squeezes my hands, almost scared I could run away, "your marriage to Aemond wou-"

"What?! Marriage?" I finally get my hands free from her grasp and once again distance myself, "I'm not marrying your son. And especially, I'm not supporting an usurper."

Alicent collects herself, takes a deep breath and fixes her dress.

"I'm..." she clears her throat, "I'm sorry, I didn't want it to come to this, but you leave me no choice."

I look at her confused, not having the faintest idea of what's going through her mind.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, putting myself on guard.

"The wedding will take place after Aegon's coronation, I'm sure we could find a dress that will fit you." She says, emotionless. I scoff, loudly.

"Why are you so adamant to make me marry your son?" I ask, "is this a way to make your children love you?"

"It's a good way to show your support in front of the people." She explains.

"I will not be used to support, basically, a robbery." I say, walking to stand in front of her, "I'm not a pawn in your conspiracy."

"You leave me no choice, Y/n." She whispers, forcing herself to move back to the door.

"You always had a choice, Alicent." I tell her before she exit the room. Having it locked. I could hear her say something to a guard, probably to stay put and not letting me leave.

"Fuck." I curse as I pace around the room, trying to find a solution, and maybe not to panic. I want to hit myself for not listening to my bad feelings about Aemond, and for not leaving with Rhaenyra.

--------------

I don't know exactly how long it's been since I've been locked in my chambers, I haven't seen Rhaenys either at the window, I don't if she was let out or not.

Maybe the moment they let me out for the wedding I can take the chance and run. Unlikely. Too many guards. Also, I can't wait that long.

I look out the window for the millionth time probably, and it's still to high for me to jump.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I mutter under my breath, "why haven't the gods gifted me with wings?"

It's dark outside, if I manage to get out I could easily escape, but I need to exit this room first.

"Fuck!"

Before I can start to panic again, the commotion from outside my chambers startles me. I move closer to the doors, cautiously, to get a glimpse of what might be happening when suddenly the door opens and one of the twins of the King's guard enters, cloak in hand.

"Come, lady Y/n. We don't have much time." He tells me handing me the cloak, I take it confused.

"What... what's going on?" I ask, and in that moment Rhaenys comes into my view.

"Ser Erryk is helping us." She says.

I nod and put the cloak on and follow them out, noticing as I walk out the passed out guard near the doors.

--------------

Morning comes rather quickly as we walk through King's Landing.

"I won't leave Meleys" the Princess declares, "if I could get to the Dragon pit, then..."

"No." Erryk is quick to shut her plan down, "they'll expect you there, princess. You won't get past the gates."

"He's right." I agree, "he's right, and we can't risk losing you like this. Meleys knows you're not abandoning her, and they won't lay a hand on her for sure."

She looks at me, sadness filling her eyes. I can't understand the bond between a dragon and its rider, but I can understand it's strong. I gently take her arm and lead her with Ser Erryk, letting her squeeze me to get some comfort.

"Come, you must make for the riverfront and find a ship. Before they know you've gone." Erryk explains and I nod my head in understanding.

As we walk through the stroll of the city we hear guards screaming, ordering people to move. A sea of people almost surrounding us, we try to find another way, Erryk takes our hands to safely lead us away, but the amount of people pushing and walking separate us.

"Stay close to me." Rhaenys tells me, grabbing my arm painfully tighter. I don't intend on losing her here among the people so I ignore the pain. I try to look back and see if I can catch a glimpse of the Knight, but he's too far and too stuck to get to us.

We have no choice but to follow the people.

"Where are we going?" I ask and Rhaneys looks up and around.

"Dragon pit." She says, I looked at her, sensing the determination in her and I sigh.

"The coronation..." I say, "well... maybe we can use the distraction then."

"Indeed."

So we walk with the rest of the people towards the Dragon Pit. Once we get there almost the entire building is filled with people, curious to hear what happened, what the news is.

"People of King's Landing." Otto's voice resound inside, "today is the saddest of days. Our beloved king, Viserys the Peaceful, is dead" everyone in the audience lets out sad and surprised noises, but Otto continues, "but it is also the most joyous of days, for as his spirit left us, "I roll my eye, always the theatrical one, "he whispered his final wish: that his firstborn son, Aegon should succed him.

I sigh and look at Rhaneys, her having the same confused look as me. The audience is just as confused, but eventually starts to applause while the guards enter, creating a path for Aegon to walk through.

I take an attentive look at him, he seems nervous, almost reluctant too. One thing was certain: he himself didn't ask for it. Though, I'm afraid of what power could do to him. What scares me the most is how easily his dear Grandfather could manipulate him.

"It's our chance." I feel Rhaenys pulling me to the sideand down the stairs to where the dragons are kept.

Not being very familiar with the place I let the princes lead me down and once we get to Meleys I can't help but freeze.

"Come." She tells me as she gets ready to ride her dragon.

"I..." I stutter a little, "is that okay? Will she be okay with me riding with you?"

"You sell yourself short, my lady." She tells me, "you got an affiliation with dragons, they can feel it. Now come, we have no time to waste."

I take a deep breath as I follow her up on her dragon.

"Let's go, Meleys, fly." She orders in Old valyrian and her dragon immediately complies, "hold tight."

The dragon takes off and I close my eyes waiting to be out of the caves... out in the Dragon pit.

The dragon's roar is mixed with screams of terror from the people taken by surprise as they run to safety.

I open my eyes, I look down the the royal family standing there.

"Open the doors!" Otto screams.

"We have to go." I tell her.

She doesn't respond, only stares at them. I loom down again, my eyes catch Aemond's. He looks furious, hurt too, but there's something more sinister in him now, something that makes my skin crawl.

I see Alicent stand in front of Aegon, expecting Rhaenys to burn them all. Instead Meleys only roars loudly, making them tremble in fear, then she turn around and flies out.

To Dragonstone.

[autisticfaun420]

I opened up to my mom about age regression

(if you are reading this and are new to my blog I am high support needs autistic and I already have childish interests please don’t say I’m infantilizing autism)

So first of all she kind of knew something was up with me, I brought my plushie with me to my disability day program. I showed her my blog, she said she hadn’t logged into my account to check yet so it was a surprise to her. First of all she was very proud and said I was brave for opening about some of my struggles and being so candid about it, I don’t know if it’s bravery or just autism making it so I don’t know what’s appropriate to share haha. Then I showed her my posts about age regression and how I learned about it here and was like, instant hyper fixation for me. I told her about how I never felt negatively infantilized by her and my dad almost never compared to people at school or strangers and I enjoy the connection we have when my parents kind of “baby” me the right way when they take care of my support needs. Like I need to have physical touch to calm me down and being cradled and my diaper changes are met with nick names, hugs and tickles, yeah very embarrassing I’m sure but whatever. I told her about “little space” and how I already enter it when she takes care of me sometimes and she said she always knew something like was going on but never pushed me or into it and made sure I was enjoying myself in those moments. She said if it would make me happy she and my dad would for sure be willing to help me out with little space. I told her that I want to take the power back from people who infantilized me negatively and assume I can’t think for myself by doing this and that surprised her but she said it made sense. I mentioned that I want to keep what independences and adult privileges I do have and I don’t want them to think I want this 24/7 and they said of coarse they will and I trust them. She had a talk with my dad real fast and they agreed to let me spend some of the money I saved up doing internet surveys, like a hundred dollars for an age regression starting pack essentially, my dad asked if this is really what I want and I guess the way I looked at him after and nodded made him believe me. My dad talked to me about how it’s important to keep my regression inside so others don’t get the wrong idea and I said of coarse and I shouldn’t do more then take my plushie with me in public and I agree. However I’m getting an adult sized bottle and pacifier, a mobile for my special needs cubby bed and a few fisher price toys. I am over the moon ecstatic and my mom said she’ll throw in the money for overnight shipping cause I earned it for using coping mechanisms when meltdowns could of gone worse lately.

I told them about pet regression too and they were still supportive of me being interested in it, they said they would feel uncomfortable with treating their disabled child like a pet personally and I can see where they’re coming from on that. They told me that one day I can find someone special to do that stuff with. As you can imagine dating is really hard with my level of needs but I’m not completely discouraged I’ll find somebody but that’s a post for another day. We did have a talk about how much I enjoyed being on an anti elopement harness and how I would pretend play as a puppy when out on walks with her, she said she knew had a feeling that’s what I was doing. Also I had my pacifier till 4 or 5 years and she said me giving it up was one of the hardest things she saw me go through and joked about it like I’m a drug addict about to relapse on it. I still have so many oral stims and use chewerly throughout the day so I think she has a point. Imagining what a paci would feel like in my mouth makes me feel so happy. I am just excited all around and can’t wait till tomorrow. For now my mom asked if I wanted some “little time” tonight and of course she said yes. We watched In the Night Garden on the big TV while she stroked my hair and cuddled when I normally only watch shows like that on my tablet as a form of stimming I guess. It was nice watching it where I could relax. I felt extra giggly at all the dumb stuff in the show, my friends describe it as an “acid trip” if that gives you an idea about what it’s like. My mom after the episode tickles me down and played games with me like I did when I was a little kid and I loved it. I started crying tears of happiness because I felt so loved I guess you could say. She teared a little bit too and told me every mother secretly wishes they could still baby their grown children so she said she had fun, I don’t know if it’s true or not but it’s a funny thought.

I feel so happy I wanted to write this out and share with you guys. I don’t know what else to say I think I wrote out enough. Now my mom wants me to get into my pajamas early I think she’s having too much fun with this but so am I and my dad is gonna run to get some of my favorite ice cream when I was a kid. I feel so lucky to have parents who can support my physical and emotional and disability support needs.

[yesornopolls]

This is not a yes/no poll but I don’t know who else to consult.

My parents and I are not close. I'm closer with my dad, but he doesn't know about any of my interests due to the way me and my sister were taught about 'privacy' growing up. I am not close with my mum at all and I only talk to her when I have to.

When me and my sister were growing up, we were not told any of our parents' interests/hobbies, and were always told not to look at what people were doing. I think this is what led us to both be so hidden(?) from our parents, and is why this problem exists in the first place.

My dad doesn’t really buy anything for me, nor does he try to learn about my interests (but he will listen when he does learn about them. He likes that I like stuff, he just doesn’t actively seek that information out). My mum is the one who will buy me things, but it’s gotten to the point where she is just buying me junk for the sake of trying to keep a relationship with me and then holding that fact over my head (I have told her to stop, she hasn’t).

I want to buy a few posters for my favourite show for my bedroom at my dads house (my parents are divorced). I currently do not have a credit/debit card as I lost it a few months ago, however I am going to go get a new one on the 18th of this month, but I would preferably like to place the order before school starts again (for reference, all these options are online orders).

I have a few options on how to acquire the posters, and I’m not sure how to go about it.

Ask my mum to buy them for me.

She will buy me things I don’t want related to this show for the next 10 years, even after I inevitably lose interest in it. She’ll also be extremely upset that I’m putting them up at my dad’s house, and not hers. However I don’t care about her opinion on my interests as much.

Ask my dad to buy them for me.

I do not want to do this one, purely because of the completely irrational fear I have that he’ll think the show is weird, or violent (again, completely irrational. He is the biggest nerd you’ll meet, he’s probably even watched the show before and enjoyed it. It’ll just be awkward and I’m an overthinker). His opinion means a lot to me, and although he’s supportive of me in every sense, I think he still views me as a little kid (I’m 18), hence why I’m worried to tell him about my interests. I do want him to know about my interests in the long term though, and I want to be able to tell him things about me and not be scared about it, but I’m not sure if diving headfirst into this is the right way to go about it (for my own sake).

Wait until the 18th and buy them myself.

This one would be fine, but I’m a little worried that my dad will be confused when they show up for me. He would also have to find out about the posters/my interests in a surprise! Kind of way, which is a little awkward and it might hurt his feelings that he wasn’t asked. This will also be after school starts again, which I would prefer to get them before then. However I think this is the option that’ll give me the least anxiety in the short-term, but probably more as I wait for them to arrive.

I have consulted my sister and she is no help whatsoever.

Thank you for reading this behemoth of an ask, and thank you for any advice you might have (and I understand if this is not submitted to the public as it's not a yes/no question).

[faithlia]

⋆｡˚ Jᥙᥒ᥆ ୧˚｡⋆

english ins't my first lenguage.

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, kind of friends to lovers.

a/n: this was a request for a sequel to something about you, however, this story doesn't tell much about what happened in its premise, although it has the same characters and their respective interests. also I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been very busy lately, but I hope you like it 💓

"you're make me wanna falling in love" - sabrina carpenter.

I don't know how to react to this or how to talk about it. After a series of meaningless flirtations and arousal-ridden insistence, I have Matt sitting on my living room floor, pretending he knows how to put the puzzle together properly. It's what? Eleven o'clock at night? Maybe he won't be leaving anytime soon.

I'm intrigued and anxious about what might happen if he comes over to my place. He wants to fuck me, and I know it; I have no objections to it, just thoughts of endless possibilities. I mean, I can't help myself, hormones are high.

When we arrive, I thought he was going to grab me and I would forget everything to focus on the moment, but that's not what happened.

I grab two glasses of wine, taking them to him in short steps.

"Thanks", he says as he reaches for the drink. I sit a little closer to him, but on the couch, watching him sort the pieces out to line them up in their proper place.

“How long have you been putting this together?” he asks, pointing with his finger.

“I don’t know. I think it’s been about two days,” I say. I really don’t know where I got the patience to put together a puzzle with a thousand tiny pieces, but the idea seems brilliant. “It helps me relax,” I sigh. I drink some more wine and then find myself staring at the empty glass – like a professional drunk.

Seriously? You relax with that?" He downs the rest of his wine, looking at me with slanted eyes.

"Of course I do," I say, smiling like an idiot. It seems that half a glass of wine is enough for me to feel comfortable with each leg on either side of his body. He doesn't mind; in fact, he even drops his head back - right into my lap.

"I can't imagine you relaxing; You're always so anxious about everything." He looks at me with such serene eyes that I have to make sure that it's not a figment of my imagination and that his eyes and expression aren't the most attractive thing I've ever seen.

"I think I'm pretty relaxed now." It's not entirely a lie, but part of me feels like my heart is almost in my mouth. I bite my lip and dare to run my hands through his messy hair; it's soft, but at the same time it looks like he hasn't washed it. I don't think he's the kind of guy who spends time worrying about what products to put in his hair. It makes me want to wash his hair like he's a doll, which is kind of weird.

"Okay," he says. He sighs and closes his eyes, feeling very comfortable, and I like that. Little by little, a feeling settles in my chest, and I don't think so much about what might happen. Of course, yes, I really want to kiss him, because his mouth is so attractive, and everything about him makes me surrender to a simple touch or a bold tilt.

Without thinking, I start to trace his face with the tip of my finger, delicately. He doesn't open his eyes and this allows me to be more evasive, pinching the tip of his nose lightly.

"Wow" I say, laughing.

"What is it?", he asks, still with his eyes closed, settling his head more into my lap.

"It's just... Have you noticed that your nose is really big?", I think I'm drunk because this is the first time I've said something about his appearance. It's not an insult, but rather something that has always strangely attracted me to him.

Contrary to what I thought, Matt laughed.

"Fuck you", he says. I lean a little closer to his face and say, "I like it. I find it quite... useful." I smack my lips and Matt opens his eyes. Damn, again those damn eyes so beautiful they look like they're going to eat me alive.

Now everything seems sneaky. He whispers to me, "Really?", knowing exactly what I mean. And before I can say anything else, he pulls my head down and kisses me. It's a sloppy kiss, but neither of us cares. He caresses the back of my neck and lifts his body up to take my lips. The feeling of his mouth on mine is delicious. I feel like I'm Spider-Man wearing pink panties

Matt lets out a moan and it drives me crazy. I pull away from him from the discomfort of being so bent over.

"That was our first kiss", I point out.

"Yeah" he nods, turning to face me — still between my legs. "Was it good?" he asks, so relaxed that it makes me comfortable with what we just did.

I lick my lips and say "Yeah" too, but the sound is more like a moan.

"Do you want to do it again?" he raises his eyebrows suggestively.

"I do!", and that's absolutely true. "But I know where this is going," I think out loud. For some reason, I'm not reluctant to tell him what I'm thinking. Maybe the nervousness went away when I started drinking, and that's fine with me. I like to tell him what I think and I don't think he minds. I think he likes being teased by my words – especially since I like it when he does it to me.

"What? Sex?", he gives me a wicked smile. And looks directly at my breasts.

"Yes!", I lean back on the couch, feeling the softness of the upholstery. "And what's the problem, I thought you wanted it", he looks at me like a puppy. I move my hand to stroke his hair again.

"I don't know. Won't it be weird?" I ask, thinking about an idea that has crossed my mind many times.

"Why would it be weird?" he asks back and now we're playing this little game that I kind of like. I shrug and he's quiet for a while. "We don't have to have sex if you don't want to", he says, lowering his gaze to between my legs.

"Okay",I say it like I'm not dying to have him. I think he wants to eat me out and I wouldn't deny it, I'd just be annoying enough to make him tired of trying. "Are you upset?" I ask.

This isn't the first time you've said no to me," I smile at that and he drags his hand up my thigh. "I want to wash your hair," I say and he rolls his eyes. "What? I really want to!"

"Do you want to give me a bath too?" I do, but I don't need to say it.

"Well, if it's to wash your hair..." I won't say it directly.

He shakes his head and sighs heavily, thinking about what to say, but before I do I reconsider. "But actually, I think it's better not to! I don't want you to get excited in the middle of everything," for a moment I regret what I said.

"Juno", he bites his lip, calling me.

"Hm?" I look at his mouth; it looks so soft.

"I've been hard for about two minutes now," I open and close my mouth, looking at the considerably large bulge in his pants. I don't know what to say. "Oh my God. I managed to shut your fucking mouth. Awesome!" he says as if it's the best thing in the world, but I don't take offense; he's said worse to me. With a little difficulty, he stands up and stretches his entire body with his back to me. I'm a little intimidated about what he's going to do; however, he sits down next to me and, at the same time, grabs a pillow to cover his "problem".

He doesn't say anything and I shift to get closer to him. Now, from how much I've played with his hair, he's slightly disheveled. "How are you going to fix this?" I ask, knowing he's going to give me an expected answer.

"Do you want to fix it for me?" Before I can answer, he kisses me, and this time with tongue, and it's so automatic that I gasp. He grabs my ass and squeezes the flesh hungrily. I moan into his mouth and he pulls me to sit on his lap – and I realize he's quickly removed the pillow, feeling the openness of the bulge. I'm not going to lie or be hypocrite; I've been wet for a while now. When he forces me against his cock, I feel my pussy throb – it feels so fucking good.

"Matt", I hold his face with both hands, almost crying. "I don't know if we should have sex now", I say, separating myself from his mouth and feeling a delicious longing as I move over his intimacy.

The truth is that, although I would like to have his mouth all over my body and his cock inside me, I'm insecure about everything. This concern invades my head when the realization that it's Matt who's there watching me moan like a whore on his lap. The fact that he's already seen my breasts weighs this stigma even more.

"Okay! I know you haven't had sex with guys in a while", it's true, but wait.

"How do you know that?", I frown.

"Because you tell me everything, idiot", he seals our lips quickly. Matt lowers his mouth to my neck, saying: "But at least let me eat you out or just suck your tits, or just watch you touch yourself; I would love that." He thrusts his hips against me, catching me off guard, making me gasp loudly with my mouth open.

I take a deep breath and gather the courage to tell him: "I want to, I really do! I'm just a little insecure..." I look down, trying not to rub myself against him. "I shouldn't, because you're so hot! And you know that's true." He lifts my chin with his hand and bites my neck, biting until he reaches my cleavage, sticking his face in there. "And, fuck, I've seen those tits, and they're even more beautiful up close." He squeezes my breasts with his big hands, intensifying a delicious sensation in my lower abdomen. "Do you want me to tell you about your pussy that's wetting my pants, too?" Matt looks at me, his eyes shining. It was true, I'm making a terrible mess.

Fuck.

"Do you still want to wash my hair?" Matt asks, with his naughtiest smile. I nod and he lifts me easily onto his lap and heads to the bathroom.

He's quick to take off my clothes and he's also quick to make me go crazy. He pushes me against the shower wall and kneels down to eat my pussy. I like the way he knows how to eat me and how grotesque he is in the sense of making a mess on his own face just to devour me. When he runs the tip of his nose over my clit and almost shoves his face inside me, he says in a very slurred voice: "That's what you wanted, isn't it?" and he takes saliva on the tip of his tongue to join my lubricated clit and satisfy me a little more. And, when I squirt on his face from the accumulated stimulation, he opens his mouth with his tongue out, swallowing everything, panting: "You're delicious, babe".

Matt is the kind of guy who likes to fuck dirty and knows how to be thirsty for it.

I swore every moment that he wouldn't fuck me tonight, but after cumming in his mouth and knowing how naughty he is, the urge got worse and he fucked me the way he wanted, moaning loudly that I take him well, that he would cum inside me and he didn't care at all and he did; I like how he keeps his words.

And you can bet that I really like the fact that he takes me to bed, still wet, and makes me sit on his sensitive cock with my back to him, murmuring how hot I am and pinching my nipples between his fingers. I don't bother to scream when he hits my sensitive spot. I love the way he starts to feel overwhelmed and whimpers in my ear; I aggravate my movements and grip the back of his neck tightly just to hear him closer. He cums inside me once more, both of us letting out moans from the sensitivity caused in our bodies. He masturbates my clit and I release myself too, rolling my eyes in pleasure.

The last thing I remember is being in his arms, and after that, I fall asleep.

When I wake up, I feel unimaginably tired. Matt's eyes are open, sleepy; he says, "Good morning," and for me, talking at that moment is not an option. He kisses my forehead and smiles, touching my cheek, being so gentle.

"We weren't supposed to do this," I say, my voice unrecognizable. He presses his lips together and smacks, murmuring, "I know!" I sigh, stretching. "Do you want to do it again?" he asks.

Well.

No need to ask!

I must say that Matt and I fucked hard all day, in every possible position. And a few times, he asked me which ones I had tried; he was surprised by some of them.

He kissed me tenderly at each end, assuring me that it was very good. And surprisingly, after cumming on his cock so many times like a slut, I actually washed his hair when we showered – leaving it nice and wavy.

We finished putting the puzzle together – even though we argued a lot about where the pieces should go. He also felt motivated enough to tell me that he likes me since I started to feel comfortable insulting him, but that he finds me annoying and sometimes insufferable. I told him he was an idiot and teased him: “Does this turn you on, Matt?”

“Oh my god. I’m so fucking horny.” He laughs and kisses me and I know for sure that I want his touch for the rest of my life.

The End

a/n: Yeah, I know. It doesn't have much to do with the song, but if you're really fucking horny, I wouldn't hesitate to make a one-shot with all the positions that Juno and Matt did before putting together puzzles, and, who knows, after that too.

[unholywriters]

Chapter Five - New Teachings, new Friend

╰┈➤ Paring: Demon!changbin x male!demon reader

╰┈➤ Tags: poly!stray kids, poly!chan, poly!felix, poly!changbin, poly!hyunjin, poly!seungmin, poly!lee know, poly!jeongin, poly!han, possessive stray kids, demon AU, Sin AU, royalty AU, talks of hell, demon mentions

╰┈➤ Word Count: 7k

╰┈➤ Parts: teaser, 01, 02, 03, 04

╰┈➤ Taglist: @a-short-ass-disappointment @gnusihcom @felixneverbadd @hyunjinnnnnnnnnnnnnn @midlike

╰┈➤Summary: After waking up to see changbin and Chan standing above the coffin. The house now being filled with celebration before having to leave. That's when chan had to explain what was to happen next and refusal wasn't an answer so he made sure Changbin stayed near despite felix being near. So y/n was now stuck with changbin, but not everything is horrible now is it?

Sitting in the now dark room was confusing to me. One moment I was slowly getting pulled out the coffin by Changbin, he was alone and told me not to think too much about everything. But my mind was racing, I had just killed my family, but it felt short lived, like I should have done more to make them feel pain but I can't do too much. But I still felt dizzy while trying to get used to everything once again, like trying to take my first steps but the last look I saw on Changbin's face was like he knew I wouldn't have made it. Making me think of what Chan had said when I woke up in that pile. But when I woke back up, the room was dark. And everything felt stiff. But I kept my head up high and moved out of the bed. I rocked just to make sure I was awake before sitting up. Holding the edges of the bed felt like something was burning, looking down I see I was burning the bed when trying to keep myself steady. I didn't want to fall, but I needed to keep myself steady before standing up. I wonder if this is how new demons felt when they woke up for the first time. Trying to get a grasp on things once again only to feel like they had to start all over again.

The fire was spreading, but I felt at home in it. Like it was giving me energy, like I could do anything if I put my mind to it long enough. With one forceful push I stood up, but I could feel the surrounding fire bursting higher, making a loud whoosh sound behind me while I kept myself steady on the ground. Focusing on my breathing I looked at the door, my eyes now adjusting to the darkness, like I could see everything despite no lights being on. But then my ears got filled with sounds, I could hear people still chatting as if they were questioning things. Maybe questioning if I was going to wake up still or if this entire thing was a waste of time. Trying to focus on one thing, I heard footsteps coming closer while I tried to walk to the door. Trying so hard to get the ringing over with because it was messing with my head by the time I heard the door open. Looking over with a quick head turn, I saw someone’s outline. But after blinking a couple times, I could see it was changbin who seemed to be confused even. “Y/n? You.. woke up?” He sounded confused but also a bit…happy I think?

“Was I supposed to actually die or something?” I asked, I think sounding more annoyed than I already was. The ringing was getting to me but it died down slowly, fading into the background like everything else now that I could stand up more easily and just walk, nothing seemed to hurt anymore but I was used to the dark room, I can imagine the light's are still on downstairs and everything is loud as ever, but for now everything felt quiet. Like they were trying to listen in to the conversation just to see where it would go. “No, it usually takes longer than 30 minutes for a new demon to wake up but you woke up in just 10. The fastest one to wake up was I- the youngest who woke up in 15.” I could hear him getting closer, squinting my eyes to see him reaching his hands out to me, maybe to help me walk so I can understand things but I wasn't entirety too sure. “Is that why everything went quiet? Are they listening like I can hear them?”

He froze for a minute, almost like he wasn't thinking I wouldn't be able to hear things for now, maybe I wasn't supposed to but it just happened like nothing else was wrong. “You have a lot of things figured out given that you have had nothing demon related prior. can you see me in the dark?” “As if the lights were one but they aren't.” I could feel his touch while he lead me out of the room, walking to the door into the hallway. It felt like walking on a tip rope but it was still manageable. “Then the lights downstair might blind you for a while. I'll have to show you when the party is actually over.” “There's still more with this?” I thought that by now almost everyone would have left since I done the main show, maybe not to everyone's liking but just enough to keep them satisfied while they return to what they were doing any other day or even before this was all planned. What else was there for me to do? Show them I can barely walk and stand anything too bright as if I just woke up from a long sleep and the sun was now flashing in my eyes?

“Not a lot, it will show itself when we get downstairs.” Walking down the stairs seemed to somehow help with balance, but the room was still bright. But I could handle it even with the sounds piling back up like when you have headphones back on and everything is trying to play out at once. With there being very little what I can do but I handled it. Looking around everyone seemed to look at me with a curious look, like some were surprised to see that it was actually me, some wanted to see what else I could bring to the table, like watching a pawn slowly become more than a knight, but a queen. Though I do like the sound of that, I wasn't sure if it would be everything I'm thinking it would be from the start and I'm not sure if I want to push that, or rather if I have a choice if I don't want to push anything anymore. “Chan and Hongjoong are outside talking with hyunjin, I'll guide you there to make sure you don't fall.” I wanted to tell him no, that I could handle it since it felt like getting drunk when I was home alone. But this was more intense the way I get at home, but he stayed close while I walked.

Slowly getting the pop in my steps back felt like owning the stage again in its own way and that's what I liked to do when I would walk. Outside seemed to feel different somehow, like there was a pressing weight of tension waiting to see if anything would be different, but they weren't at the window spot I saw hongjoong at before getting here. Changbin took me to the garden that seemed to be private since no one else seemed to go back there without reason. It felt weird walking back there, but when we got further down, I saw hyunjin looking down while being tied up. His wings were being forced opened with chan having to stand to the side, his stance looked angry while someone else seemed to hold a sword that hongjoong was holding out to them. “Now what in the fuck is happening here?” I opened my mouth before changbin could, seeing hyunjin whip his head up to look at me, chan slowly looking over and relaxing. Hongjoong looked curious while the man with him, he seemed to look a little angry, but curious as well. “Oh thank you fucking flames you woke up.” Hyunjin looked more relived as his wings were able to now finally be lowered.

The robe vanishing from his hands while Chan moved closer to him. Helping him stand up while having a look that screamed worry, but I could see, no I could smell fear, something I don't think anyone else could smell. “Oh well, seonghwa you have an entire place to do cutting. Send the sword back home.” Hongjoong let out a small sigh, almost sounding disappointing while the taller man next to him let the sword vanish into flames before keeping his arms behind his back. Chan taking hyunjin away from the two, Hyunjin hissing while trying to move his wings since it seemed to have been painful being there in waiting for so long just to see if I was going to wake up or not. Hongjoong begun slowly walking over to me, that man staying behind him like he was waiting for another order, Changbin kept his arm over me, trying to keep me closer behind him while also making sure he looked as big as possible to keep the two of them far back as he could in this instance. “Alright alright, we won’t scare them too much come seonghwa, wooyoung still wants to make sure his best friend is still alive, then after that we can head home. I know you're itching to tear someone in half, aren't you?”

I watched them walk to the gates that came to the garden, hongjoong having a skip in each step while that taller man just kept walking. Looking back at the other two, Hyunjin stood up, his clothes still looked just fine, his hair being a mess, his eyes being wide while he was slowly calming down. Chan seemed to whisper things in his ear, making sure he was helping hyunjin calm down more before letting him go while me and changbin slowly got closer. I had questions; I wanted to ask so much but I knew the only person who had those answers would most likely be Chan, and he had his hands full and I knew better than to mess with someone trying to keep someone they see as family. Slowly looking over, even changbin looked worried as he got closer, trying to make sure he really was fine before we would've had to returned. But Hyunjin slowly stood up, shaking the hair out of his face before rolling his shoulders. Like this was just another day, and he was getting through it. Cracking his neck some while letting out a relaxed sigh before looking at all three of us, but focusing back to me. “All of this will be explained after we make a talk for the others alright? Don't worry about me till afterwards if I don't start jumping around.”

The moment he started walking, Changbin went after him. Watching him he wrapped his hands around Hyunjin while the two were walking to the gates to join the others while I turned to Chan. He slipped on his mask to cover his mouth, but I could still se his eyes despite how hard his expression looked. “So, I take it he's not really the best friend or brother?” I wanted to break the silence, he didn't seem like he wanted to move, that making himself move would take more energy than not. So I slowly got closer, remembering that this is someone who the others respect and that I'm now tied to. He looked at me, almost like he didn't want to answer but I didn't stop staring at him. Wanting to see if there was anything I could do despite how late I felt like I was. What would’ve happened if I too late, would I have been killed out of anger, anyway? I mean I would've done that in his shoes, probably make it show just because one of my closest friends got hurt. Watching him, he slowly let out a breath before getting tensed back up again. “He’s technically my brother, since our sections are close. But he likes to make bets, not just deals. And if he gets his way, he makes it brutal. The last thing he cut from my crew, it was the youngest tongue and I was too late to get to him because of a trap. It took him years to grow it back and feel comfortable talking to him, or even anyone again. If you didn't wake up, he would've lost his wings in a slow way that takes years to grow back. And hyunjin adores his wings, it would've taken him decades before he grew them back, maybe longer or shorter to forgive you.”

He didn’t look at me, but I have to remember something, these guys aren't just demon’s but Sin's, by the looks of it. “I would've let him torture me till he thought it was enough. Might not replace the pain, but I didn't think I fell back asleep after everything. What happened?”

“You climbed out of the coffin but everything was awakening at once. You were practically trembling while trying to get yourself together but it was taking such a toll that before anyone else reacted. You just screamed, if anything you shook the ground and broke the windows, making the guards even fall to their knees along with some demons. You almost made Hongjoong kneel, he was pissed so many people saw that but when you stopped, you just fell. You didn't move, didn't tremble and didn't even shake like most. But you just laid there till we got you inside.”

He sounded more impressed while staring at me while I was confused; I caused that much damage? I had a feeling that everyone here could handle things, but was my scream that bad? Did anyone else from the outside even hear that? “Changbin told me that for me to stand up and already see in the dark and hear everyone was advanced for me is it, really?” “Yes. Most panic because everything is dark, they can't see or hear anything and assume they're dead and panic till they slowly hear someone.” it made me curious, what else was I able to do if someone was there to help? Would I have to figure things out for myself? Well I doubt that, with how many boys in this group someone would end up teaching me about something's before letting me figure things that fit myself. But the question is who would bother with that? Since I haven't met, everyone yet still but clearly things happened and it was slightly rushed since some of them haven't really met me yet and tonight was more of a first- or well second impression of me.

“What happens when we get back?” Without saying a word, we walked back to the main place, he was silent still but as we got closer, I saw the others standing in the middle of the large living room, hyunjin showing off his wings as happy as he could while looking at us. I felt weird now, the eyes were on me and I could hear the whispers more, looking around at people and seeing how they stopped talking. Changbin was right, I must really be surprising her people here after my last performance. One of them got closer, his face seemed more serious, his hair slightly covering his face while rolling his shoulders, slowly taking my hands into his while we stood closer. “Sorry we didn't get to meet before this, my name is Minho, but everyone else calls me Lee know. It’s a pleasure to actually talk to you.”

I wanted to say something, despite the smile he was giving me, one hand felt warm and the other one felt cold, it felt weird but I don't think I had time to ask a question, our attention was moved to the top of the staircase, Chan standing there like he was used to having to give speeches even after something happened, makes me wonder how many times he's had to do this, only at the end of it all just to go back home and let it out in his own way.

“Thank all of you for coming and helping all of us welcome a new demon into the world of hell. One that seems to hold more promise than some expected, I hope the next time any of us ever meet, you can see just how much things have changed in the years to come.” The cheers were loud, like they those loud random rings you'd sometimes get in your ears even when your note doing anything to get be getting them in the first place but I stayed put. Lee Know was keeping me closer while we all were looking at Chan, who was slowly looking around the room but not so much at us. He was keeping his head up high despite everything that could happen at this moment. I was still nervous, what if someone wanted to ruin this? Or was this just because I was so used to my family doing the same thing that now I’ve just accepted that it could happen anywhere else if I was present and someone wanted to embarrass me just for the fun of it?

But despite all of that it was like people were slowly glowing, like as if they were walking into a fire and this was now their time to say goodbye and plan more things. It made me curious as I watched some of them before looking down; it wasn't them that was being surrounded by fire; it was us. I wanted to scream, thinking I was going to burn but before I could even do that. I was Now standing in a garden; it was larger than the one hyunjin was in; the flowers were more different, but so was the air. It was hot, but I wasn't sweating it just had that feeling of it. But I also felt lighter, but that didn't erase the confusion I still had. The sky wasn't blue anymore; it was a bright red yet it looked like there would be stares in the sky, bringing a sense of white to the sky that was filled with the sounds of faint screaming and flames burning in the distance. I was in hell, the place they say where screams are never ending and no matter where you look there is nothing but torture, fire and screams.

I wanted to let out another scream, like something was wrong but then I felt a squeeze. Whipping my head around faster than I thought, I looked over to Lee know, his eyes now a dark red but he also just seemed more relaxed than he was a few moments ago. “Me and Changbin will explain everything, you burned my hand without thinking, probably assuming I was trying to keep you warm but then you burned the floor. Your abilities are free flowing and we needed to get you somewhere that wouldn't burn. But this helps, since you would've had to come here by the end of the night.” He explained, letting go of my hands to shake off some embers that fell to the ground and fix his tie. I felt embarrassed somehow, like how do I end up nearly burning someone and not realize I'm doing it? Wouldn't I just get hotter? “And don't worry about the screams, we figured it would be better to walk you to the main house instead of just appearing inside, this is just the front walkway. It also gives us time to explain things without overwhelming you. Since your abilities are going to be tied to your emotions, it's best not to get you overwhelmed for the time being.”

I looked around the place, more so taking in the flowers and the path. The flowers looked like they would never die, blowing in the wind despite their bright colors, they were letting off embers that flew away. It was like those large field scenes you see in movies where you just have to look around and slowly take it all in before you move. This is going to be part of me now, makes me wonder if the church people my mother wanted to impress ever thought I would be the one on the other side of the spear they claimed would endlessly kill me for my ways of living. I walked with the two; they stayed in front of me and let me walk on my own; I was happy since this meant I could mess with the flowers more on the walk there. But I was also making sure I was paying attention and wasn't getting too side tracked not to listen or anything in that nature.

“This is our section of hell, Chan calls this side Maniac since we have a larger number of those who aren't…truly there but always thought nothing would hurt them and they could get away with their actions. But since we all have our own smaller sections to run trough, you'll have lessons from each. Which was how it was supposed to go but Hyunjin and I brought up how confusing that would be. Sure you’d only see us in your dreams but that would've made things more confusing from the start, and we don't have time for that.” Lee know seemed like he had his speech planned out, knowing what to say and when so I didn't have as many questions as I would before we would return. “I have a question though.” “Ask it. We have time.” “It's about hongjoong and the ones with him, what about them?” I looked at the two of them, Changbin turning to Lee know as if he didn't know if my question needed to be answered. Maybe I should've waited, but him and the ones he's close with are going to be a problem, maybe even more so than I was thinking.

Lee Know gave a nod, like the two of them were going to o back and forth talking about everything and now it was changbin's turn to talk. “Hongjoong is more ruthless, our sections are close, but different. He's friendly which helps in his favor when he’s talking to people, some spill things to him he doesn’t need to know but nearly all demons know better than to give in with some words he says.” “The what about the one with pink hair? He seemed more deadly/” “you will hear this name a lot, but that one is Seonghwa, also known as his right-hand man and isn't scared to get dirty, and I mean covered in blood and guts, and would still walk like nothing were to happen. He's dangerous because Hongjoong got cocky for picking someone he wanted. Someone who wouldn't fear those in power, but even he struggles to keep Seonghwa in check because he fears no one. Despite most of us being considered being stronger, he would still fight and nearly kill any of us for fun. Which is why when you and me got to hyunjin I moved you behind me, knowing if Hongjoong leaned closer to you, Seonghwa would've launched thinking it was a sign to scare or attack you just to show you a glimpse of what you would do. But not even we know what you c5na do or how to stop it if you were wanted to protect yourself, which I imagine you would, and that would've made things a mess from the start.”

We stopped and the two of them turned to me, changbin looking worried while Lee know was trying to conceal something, maybe the same worried look but was waiting on me to process everything just so I can make sure I'm not going crazy or freaking about that but I was just trying to put pieces together. “So he took seonghwa when they were human and basically molded him-they- into what he wanted but he basically made a weapon that doesn't even listen to him?” “He wanted to show Chan that he could make even the most kindhearted of people into people who would toy with your emotions while torturing you, but he went so far with Seonghwa that them feeling pain is something even he can barely do, but over the eons seonghwa has toned down. But no one really wants to challenge him still since his moves and fighting are unpredictable despite him only being second in command to a demon lord.”

I could only listen at that, someone who could fight the others despite his own strength I could only look before taking the sight of the house now in front of me. It was like those large one story mansions that were more spread out inside of stacked into a well-thought out plan. At least no one ever misses out on their steps even for one day. Despite the surroundings, the place was a bright and pure white, like it was reflecting what people have lost when they have arrived, their innocence. Even stepping on a step, it was marble. I never seen something like this, it was polished, like someone had just gotten this done and had to make a run for it before they were to be caught by the rest of us. It was something interesting, but I still wanted to know what exactly was I supposed to do here. Besides learn other things, couldn't I do that at home? Without losing a job I worked so hard to enjoy?

“You will come here every day, since you need to get used to this and other things. Before your shows and days off, yes we are using those. Demon's don get days off to sit around there is always something to do. And since you need teachings Changbin is one of the best teachers we have for combat and such, fighting chan wouldn't go easy on you and it would piss you off, it does for everyone. Think of it like classes, expect some of them might not be fun at all and you will be very annoyed that it feels like you have no free time. But you need to understand, these are important so you aren't left with a million questions but hold them in so you can't express things and don't get hurt trying to figure it out. That is the main goal here, and it's going to sound like we're talking a lot with very little actions. But they are important.”

Lee know seemed to have this more practiced out than changbin was prepared for, I think his mind was still racing and he was now having to deal with me on top of things he was already doing and or worrying about before I got here and now things were about to get more chaotic. But I gave him a nod before trying to look inside the house like a curious cat, I wanted to see what was in there. What all would be in there before anything else and where would I go if I tried to stay here. How would that even work if I had tried to stay there? Would it be like entering a castle? Maybe one of those that are left crumbling and your just left to wonder what all happened here and how? The doors seemed locked shut and I don’t think either of them are going to be opening it just yet. But something still didn't feel right about anything. Like something was wrong, and no one was telling me and I needed to figure it out without saying so.

I took one step back from the large windows and tried to focus on my surroundings. What was I missing that felt like it was right in front of me? I moved my hand around and it felt like ripping through paper. It made my eyes widen, quickly turning around with my hand still out and seeing how fast everything was changing. I looked to see that Lee know was vanishing as if he were never here, his face never changing despite his body doing so. The surrounding field became nothing but burned grounds with fire crackling under. The house had disappeared from view and I was at the edge, like if I tried to open the door, I would've fallen into the flames just under me and that would’ve been it most likely. Moving back as fast as I could, I moved my hand down and looked around to see changbin. He had a more stern look while he watched me, like that one teacher that gave you a test and wanted to see if you would fail it or surpass his expectations. His face stayed cold as he raised his head up, arms stayed behind his back before slowly walking over.

The embers flying around from under his shoes as if they were bringing more light just so I could see his face more. His dark brown eyes changing from dark brown to red with each step till he got close enough but still leaving some room between us. “I was wondering if you would notice something before falling and actually dying this time.” How was I supposed to react to this exactly? I can't swing at him even if I wanted to, he looked more focus so any attack would've been pointless if I tried to. So I stood up straight, attempting to make myself look taller than I actually am despite him leaning down closer to me just to make sure our eyes stayed locked together. “What was all of that?” I tried to make my voice sound steady, watching a grin form on his face despite how innocent his face looked, head titled to the side like a cat just watching you do something in the corner knowing they can't talk to you.

“An Illusion. Well, minus the questions you asked about Seonghwa, those are real. But the house? You may be close but that is something you have to earn to see, it doesn't exactly look like that. It is true, you will be there, but you will be limited to the rooms needed for the day ahead before getting to see anything or anyone outside. Since we don't need you to be distracted for your studies and teachings.” His voice, it reminded me of honey, on the surface it was smooth and easily spread out, having a glow to it that made you want to focus on it but honey is sticky, if dried up it can even become to get out of no matter how much you try ti get out of it.

“So where are we exactly now?” “We're at the demon house, don't get me wrong. Just in one basement. This is where we fight and make sure you can tell when things feel wrong. Seonghwa is tricky and enjoys pushing new demons like you to the limit so he can kill you. Knowing hongjoong can barely keep up and would one day get surpassed if he isn't keeping up, but you need to stay strong and be able to tell when something is wrong.” Rolling his shoulders in his coat along with his neck, I watched it vanished even before he turned to look at me. His eyes having a dead look despite the redness in them, fire reflecting off of him like it was kissing him, but his arms showed a different story. Like they were ready to protect him or show off if they needed to and I needed to find a way to be prepared for what was about to come my way whether I wanted to.

The hard part of this is going to be fighting in heels, trying to stand my ground and making sure I don't get knocked off if he plans to throw attacks to me. But damn can I at least change first? I'm still in the outfit they gave me earlier at the party. I wonder if people are watching just to make sure I'm not just a pretty demon and that I'm actually having to do things. It makes me wonder about Seonghwa, the look in their eyes while they looked at hyunjin. like they were enjoying watching him slowly shake waiting for me. The way he didn't need to smirk or grin because his eyes showed it all. I don't know what it was, maybe me thinking about it and seeing how he looked up at me and Changbin when I finally said something. But when I finally blinked I was holding Changbin's hand, not in a loving way but as in me holding his fist, my eyes wide as I looked up at him but tried to keep the shock to myself.

His face stayed the same, but he raised a brow along with hearing a sizzle, it was his hand burning and mine getting hotter. But the color wasn't red like fire, it was black. With nothing there to bring any form of light into the flames, just a void that would move around flames would do. It made him pull away and look at his hand, there was a quick moment where he looked more surprised than me before keeping his face neutral once again, it made me wonder was that hurting him? I wanted to ask him a question, but something told me to duck, to get out of the way before he gets closer and I did. In doing so, I saw him appear with his hand like he was ready to grab me but I ducked down before he could, rolling over my outstretched leg and away from the edge. I turned to look at him; he looked more surprised, his head turns being slow. Like he was waiting to see if I would do anything else but I didn't know what I was doing or how even. I just had that feeling like if I didn't move, something would happen.

He said nothing for what felt like an hour, staring at me as if he were collecting his thoughts before he even thought about trying to say anything. But what could I do? “You're not doubting your instincts. But you move faster than you think you do. You're learning fast, but you also don't have a clue of how you're doing it.” I slowly stood up, looking at him while he slowly but fully turn to meet me. He sounded curious, maybe trying to see if anyone was trying to give warnings to his moves but how would they know what he was going to do? I highly doubt he does the same things repeatedly before trying to attack someone. It wouldn’t make any sense of him to do so. “Then again, given the things you’ve went though it makes sense you've learned to actually trust yourself quicker than others and then ask questions later just to be sure to see if it's even safe to do so. That's not a bad thing to do, in fact it even benefits you.” Holding his hand out, swirling flames around it like water, he created a spear, nothing too sharp but I can imagine nothing too dull either just to make sure I put effort into it.

Tossing it over to me, he did the same thing again and held one himself, dragging the sharp end across the ground while pacing slightly but his eyes never once leaving me. “What do you mean?” “Your used to being on your toes when you know the situation is tense, so if you need to pounce you can, if you need to run you run. But if you need to bite, you bite.” I wanted to relax, to put this weapon down and just ask how does he know these things about me when this is my first time talking to him, but he moved fast and attacked again, but this time spear in one hand with the other behind his back. Yet somehow the spear, no. Somehow I was stopping each movement, each time a hit was made, even if it was close and I didn't attack, it was still close and I was mainly trying to push him back, which was hard to do given his size and everything. I wasn't making progress, but one thing was clear to me, he was struggling to keep me in one spot since he was having to keep his eyes more focused on me and barely anything else.

I don't know how, but before he could strike once again, and he was moving quickly, but I kicked him back, causing him to stumble a bit before looking at me again. His shock showing more while I just stood there, spear in both my hands while I was trying to keep myself steady on the heels I was wearing because holy shit was that sharp. Maybe that was why he was surprised, because the heel was sharp and I used it to my advantage and kick him back so I can get some space between us and just overall keep him on his toes. This went on for what felt like hours, the weapons never changed the entire time but it was clear we were going until one of us felt tired or feel to our knees and couldn't get up. But it wasn't me, who was backing down, well no that's really a Lie. I was close to it despite changbin not using anything other than a spear and determination in his eyes.

I think I broke a heel at some point and kicked my shoes off but that was a dumb move, once I could actually feel the ground is when I wanted to give up, my feet were burning, the pain wasn't something I'd think would bother me but I haven't been near fire this close. But changbin being the man he is, he kept me distracted to the point I almost forgot about it till he made our spears vanish and picked me up off the ground. My feet now cooling off but the cool air was both relaxing and painful to feel but I didn't mind it. I could rest now and I was happy with it. I got to live out a dream of mine, being carried by a man with buff arms like a princess. “We went longer then I thought we would, you make this way more exciting than I thought would happen.” I wanted to tease him about it, but when I blinked we were back in my room after what felt like so long without being in here. I wanted to jump in joy because I missed my bed so much.

He slowly set me down, I turned to him with a smile and an offer. “Wanna stay for some food?” Within minutes, his serious Demeter had changed, and he was excited, his clothes changed from their serious all black to some fuzzy pj's while he ran me some shower water since I had a feeling I would fall asleep if I took a bath right now, but he was more than happy to help with cooking something to eat. I don't remember what we made, not because I was tired and felt like the day was driving me crazy, but because he was being silly and it was hard not to laugh and I didn't know if he was always like this or if was because I offered food and us to relax on my bed since that was the only place I wanted to be. I was just more than happy to be home after everything.

??? POV

200 years. It has been 200 years before another demon had come into the picture of everything here, the last demon that was here I ate slowly. Watching them lose their mind and didn't know who to trust despite being warned so many times. Falling for my lies and charm like it was a spider web they just couldn't see it, despite the screams of other bugs warning them. But they were always sweet to eat, finally so broken they had no fight left in them despite having no soul, but still. Eating them was amazing, but this one…y/n… the first one in such long showing up. I almost wanted to laugh when I heard about that stupid party. I didn't want to go, but I had to out of respect and so I went, I smelled him the moment he walked out of the car and got close enough to us. Sure they were handsome, but I was used to seeing handsome men around and most I couldn't touch so what was the use? Them killing their family was boring, there wasn't any flare to it, just stabbing and them passing out. But when they tried to get closer, I wanted to be a tease and act like I was going to kill him, but that scream…

That power, that feeling was something that shocked me, they fell back asleep and I wanted to eat hyunjin's wings just to watch him try so hard to stay confident with no wings to show off. It was something I always thought of doing, but he came back, he looked pissed and I wanted to laugh at it, but I didn’t And then watching him fight, it almost was cut too short before they were fighting changbin like he wasn't so much stronger and taller than him. But he made it worth the watch, the way they moved, jumped around and simply just pushed him back was enough to keep me interested. Mostly those who touch the grounds give up because the pain is too much but y/n had a point to prove clearly. I like you y/n. I want to eat you after you've been broken beyond saving.

[doginurbloodstream]

i am bive from regretevator!

i dont particularly miss the regretevator universe.. i do enjoy the game though

i know two infected fictionkins, one of which is also unpleasant gradient and poob!

id say im a 3/10, i tend to be a very rational person (i think)

bive is unlabled mspec but wlw and im aroace transmasc

my fictionkin identity doesnt really effect daily life, if at all. it has to be triggered by specific bive related things. the closest its gotten is wanting to yell out "me" whenever the npc me entered the elevator while i was playing with my friend, who does not know im a fictionkin, so there was like an awkward pause where i stopped myself, and then yelled bive. there are random bits of dysphoria i guess, i dont like talking in third person, but its mild and i can get past it.

my fictionkin experience is mainly unpleasant (gradient) unfortunately. shifts are euphoric but also stressful. i tend to have to consciously ground myself a bit, because i have felt like im being watched in the past. i knew/know i wasnt, i just couldnt shake the feeling. i mean coming up with theories for the game where i can just completely let lose is fun, however it is saddening that i will probably never come up with a real one.

death note, touch tone telephone (i was based on that song so its not surprising), and i recently realized the backrooms does too. theres more im not thinking of

im not sure, its not psychological and i think dont believe in most spiritual things. its probably a multiversal thing, but i dont know from there so i usually just say unlabeled.

i do experience shifts! they are always triggered tho, thankfully. i dont get them too often. the first two shifts i had were me being paranoid abt things (the very first one was very out of control, but i was sleep deprived and depressed at the time). the second time i talked about two questions ago. i didnt have any shifts for awhile after that until i my plushie arrived, and i stayed up quite a bit just missing mediamates. that was rough. my later shifts were triggered by trying to come up with theories for the game, altho i wasnt aware i was shifted, until later, i thought i was just excited. the theories were really unhinged, and i thought i was a genius. it was rly fun tho. harmless shift. today i had a brief shift, i was looking at a bive fictionkin stimboard, and there was like a liminal space gif + music was playing, and it looked.. all too much like the lab. i started crying a bit, even tho i do not think have kinmemories, but it ended pretty quickly cuz my friend msged me a joke and the shock value got to me lol. ive also had phantom shifts, but not much recently. i may have had tail shifts, but its difficult to differentiate between kintypes

my media is regretevator on roblox! i do cringe at it sometimes tbh.

when i see fanart, it sort of feels like it was made FOR me specifically lol. what i know abt my canon heavily aligns with the fanon designs so thats cool. when it doesnt align i do feel a bit off tho- like no, that isnt me. you got it wrong. ironically this happened with a recent canon update, when they added melanie WHO IS DEAD. she was supposed to BE dead and STAY dead. and then also, why do i welcome her back?? why am i so friendly?? i mean i get that shes like friends or smth with split, but i just dont trust her. i have no reason not to, i just dont. that is WRONG. you. NO. get OUT.

ooh ooh! i like this question. i have a large, reptile-like (but hairy) non-prehensile tail! my hands and feet are clawed, with only 4 digits. for my feet i have like thumb things coming out of my heels, similar to a bird. i likely am very similar the upcoming remodel, but i cant confirm as i have not seen it. i just know im not a roblox character, and the previews of splits remodel feel very familiar.

ah.. ships. i dont see much of them outside me n split. if i do i just think its a bit weird, and move on. i wish i was seen as more than just someone who likes her. theres more to me. the majority of bive fans are mainly spive fans. i decided to look myself up on tumblr and i was just flooded with shipart. there is MORE TO ME. I AM MORE THAN HER. PLEASE SEE ME FOR ME.

in current lore me and split have feelings for each other (cant relate, im aro, but spive is in my canon tho) and are GOING to confess but that has not happened yet. i feel kinda weird abt it since i have very mixed feelings on romance, but i think we are a thing in my canon, because MY GOD I MISS SPLIT SO MUCH. I MISS HER.

Alex's fictionkin ask game!

(mostly for fictional characters)

🌲 - what is your fictotype?

🪲 - do you miss your home? Or maybe you're happy that you're here?

🐸 - do you have any sourcemates? If yes, who/what are they?

🌳 - in scale 1-10, how are you similar to your canon?

🌿 - does your fictotype have a different sex/gender identity than your body/you?

☘️ - what aspect of life does your identity affect the most?

🪴 - is your fictionkin experience unpleasant or enjoyable for you?

🍃 - what reminds you of your fictotype? (E.g.: a figurine, a doll, a tv series)

🌄 - on what level is your identity? (E.g. spiritual, psychological, psychical)

🐢 - do you experience shifts? Of yes, how do they look like?

🥝 - what is your source?

🐛 - how do you feel about fanarts of you and fanfictions?

🌵 - do you look exactly like in your source or do you look different? If you do, then what is different?

🥀 - what do you think about ships with you?

🦕 - do you have/had a loved one in your source?

♪♪♪

So, yeah, that's all! :D

Reblog this, so the others can ask you questions or answer them all right now, if you want to :>

[eyneyke]

Oh Christian...

Pairing: Max Verstappen x PewDiePie!sibling Summary: What if Felix had a genius brother who works as a RedBull's engineer and is also secretly dating Max part 39 of A Calm to my Storm Masterlist

It all comes out...

It was a regular Thursday before the race weekend, and the paddock was starting to buzz with the usual pre-race excitement. Christian Horner was standing with a group of journalists, talking about Red Bull’s strategy for the upcoming weekend. Max and Sam were nearby, seen in the background, casually chatting and scrolling through their phones.

Max leaned against a stack of tires, lazily scrolling Twitter, while Sam stood next to him, sliding though tiktok edits of Max. Max glanced over his phone at Sam, smirking.

Max (teasing): "Getting distracted by your nightmare boyfriend again?"

Sam (laughing): "Shut up, you’re just jealous."

Before Max could respond, they heard Christian’s voice get louder. One of the journalists had brought up Sam’s mysterious boyfriend — again.

Journalist:

"So, Christian, the Internet's been going wild. Any chance we can get your comment on Sam’s infamous boyfriend?"

Christian, half-distracted by the rest of the conversation, casually waved his hand, chuckling.

Christian (without thinking): "Oh, you I mean, I don't know what you want me to say. He and Max are happy, so there's nothing for me to say—"

Christian froze, his brain finally catching up with his mouth. His eyes widened, and he immediately stopped talking, glancing over to where Max and Sam were standing.

Max, holding back laughter, raised an eyebrow at Christian. Sam, who had been messing around with his phone still, paused and looked up. They both locked eyes with Christian, whose face was now flushed with panic.

Christian (trying to backpedal): "Uh, I mean… hypothetically. Not literally. Or maybe it’s a different Max…"

The journalists, of course, were far too sharp for that. Christian's eyes darted from the journalist to Max and Sam, realising that he had just unintentionally outed the relationship. The floodgates were about to burst.

Sam snorted, shaking his head as he strolled over to Christian.

Sam (calmly): "Relax. It’s fine. You didn’t say anything we weren’t expecting to come out eventually."

He patted Christian on the back, trying to calm him down as Christian started apologizing repeatedly.

Max (grinning): "Yeah, besides, I’ve been calling myself a nightmare boyfriend for months now. I think it's time for everyone to know what a great boyfriend I actually am." He says as he smirks in that overconfident persona he sometime gets for the cameras.

Sam rolled his eyes but smiled. Christian still looked like he might need a few days and a drink to recover, but Max’s casual attitude seemed to reassure him.

The journalists, now buzzing with excitement, tried to ask more questions, but Sam held up a hand.

Sam (shrugging): "Look, it's true and I know it's exciting now, but just because it's outthere and y'all know about us now, does not mean we don't like our privacy anymore. So, you can ask as many questions you want, but the three of us are gonna go now."

The gathered press erupted into questions, but neither Max nor Sam seemed fazed. In fact, they looked like they were trying not to laugh at the whole situation as they led still out-of-it Christian back inside.

Meanwhile, social media was having an absolute meltdown. The moment Christian had slipped, fans watching the live coverage of the paddock interviews caught every second of it.

---

Fan Tweets:

User 435: "Wait… did Christian Horner just accidentally OUT Max as Sam’s boyfriend?????"

User 436: "MAX. IS. SAM’S. BOYFRIEND. I CANNOT BREATHE."

User 447: "Max was trolling us the whole time calling himself a douchebag??? ICONIC."

User 448: "I can’t believe it. They were right in front of us, teasing us for MONTHS, and we had no clue."

User 449: "MAX VERSTAPPEN IS SAM'S BOYFRIEND AND HE'S BEEN SHADING HIMSELF THIS WHOLE TIME 😂"

User 450: "Max calling himself clingy and a disaster… at least we know the phone thing is true as Max is our offline king."

---

As they are leaving the paddock that day, Max's hand casually around Sam's shoulders, journalists and fans basically pounce at them with questions. They both seemed completely unbothered by the attention.

Journalist: "So, Max… you’ve been calling yourself a nightmare boyfriend in interviews for months. Was that all part of the plan?"

Max (mock serious): "Well, I had to keep it entertaining, didn’t I? Plus, I thought it was hilarious that no one realised I was talking about myself. I mean, you'd think people would notice there was not a new face sneaking around Sam in the garage?"

Sam laughed, shaking his head.

Sam (playfully): "And most things he said are true tho."

Fan#1 (laughing): "So, you’re saying Max is actually clingy?"

Sam (grinning): "Oh, absolutely. He's the clingy-est ever. But I’m stuck with him, so I guess I can live with it."

At that moment, Christian joined them and was also attacked with questions about Sam and Max by fans.

Christian (chuckling): "I owe them both a big apology for outing them like that. I honestly didn't mean to do it, but I've been one of the few people who knew about the relationship so it just slipped out."

Max waved him off, still grinning. "Nah, it was bound to happen eventually. Besides, now I don’t have to pretend to be annoyed about Sam’s ‘boyfriend’ anymore."

Sam raised an eyebrow, his smile widening. "And I now don't have to Max's ludicrous ideas of how we should reveal the relationship when the it was the time. Seriously guys, his suggestions were horrible."

Max leaned in, whispering just loud enough for the people around them to hear. "Okay, fine. Maybe my ideas weren't the best, but you know what is? You." He finishes off with a big smile as he pulls Sam closer and fans aw at them.

Sam playfully shoved Max’s shoulder, laughing as the journalists and fans snapped photos of the couple, now openly affectionate in front of the cameras.

By the time the evening rolled around, Sam and Max were trending on every social media platform, and fans were in full meltdown mode.

Fan Tweets:

User 451: "I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’VE BEEN TROLLED THIS WHOLE TIME AND DIDN’T EVEN SUSPECT IT."

User 452: "The fact that Max has been shading himself for MONTHS is the best part of all this."

User 453: "I knew there was something sus about how much Max was dragging Sam’s boyfriend and Sam not saying anything back."

User 454: "MAX VERSTAPPEN LITERALLY CALLED HIMSELF A NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL BOUGHT IT 😂"

User 455: "Sam saying Max calling himself a disaster is truth killed me. They’re such a chaotic couple."

---

As the night wound down, Max and Sam were still receiving messages from friends and fans. Sitting in Max’s hotel room, they both scrolled through their phones, occasionally showing each other particularly hilarious fan reactions.

Max (smirking): "Everyone's convinced I’m an absolute walking disaster."

Sam (grinning): "Well, they’re not wrong. You did almost set the fire alarm off last week."

Max rolled his eyes, leaning over to kiss Sam’s temple. "Guess I’m lucky I’ve got you to stop me from breaking the place down, then."

Sam (laughing softly): "Yeah, yeah. Just don’t break the car tomorrow and we're good."

They both laughed, completely at ease with the fact that the world now knew about their relationship. To them, it didn’t matter how it came out — they were just happy to finally share it, sarcasm and all.

As they sat together, ignoring the chaos still raging on the internet, Max smiled to himself. Maybe he was a bit chaotic and unhinged, but he had Sam by his side — and that was all that really mattered.

--- 

Once fans calmed down a bit and realised that Max had been roasting Sam’s "boyfriend" — who was secretly himself — they went wild trying o find every single moment where Max talked about 'the boyfriend'. All the sarcastic comments, the self-deprecating jokes, and the hyperbolic insults suddenly took on a whole new meaning. It was clear that Max had been trolling everyone from the start, and fans couldn’t get enough of it.

Fan Tweets:

User 456: "Max Verstappen called Sam’s boyfriend a 'total nightmare,' and it was HIMSELF all along??? This man was having fun with our feelings and bloody well enjoyed himself."

User 457: "Max: ‘Sam’s boyfriend is clingy, burns toast, and is basically the worst.’ Also Max: looks in the mirror."

User 458: "He’s been talking trash about Sam’s ‘boyfriend’ and it turns out… IT WAS HIMSELF. I’m screaming."

User 459: "Max roasting himself as Sam’s ‘terrible’ boyfriend has to be the biggest plot twist of the season."

User 460: "Max said Sam’s boyfriend is the 'most annoying guy in the world,' and that guy is literally Max himself. Iconic."

User 461: "I can’t get over the fact that Max has been dragging himself as ‘Sam’s boyfriend’ this whole time, and we all thought it was some douchebag."

User 462:"Remember when Max said Sam’s boyfriend ‘got lost in the garage and ended up in Aston Martin’? That was him!!"

User 463:"I’m dying. Max really said, ‘Sam’s boyfriend is the most irritating person I know.’

User 464: "Max called Sam’s boyfriend ‘the clingiest guy ever,’ meanwhile it’s literally Max texting Sam every 5 minutes on race weekends."

User 465: "Max is the biggest troll. He really spent months calling himself ‘bad boyfriend’ while being the best one."

User 466: "Max: ‘Sam’s boyfriend is the worst.’ Also Max: wins every race and texts Sam ‘goodnight’ every single day they are not together probably."

User 467: "Max has been giving himself the worst review as Sam’s boyfriend for months, and now the whole world knows the truth."

User 468: "Max said Sam’s boyfriend is 'a total disaster.' Meanwhile, it’s just Max burning toast at 5 AM before a race trying to make them breakfast. I’m crying."

User 469: "The way Max has been shading himself as Sam’s boyfriend for months is pure genius. He really had us all fooled."

User 470: "Max calling himself clingy and annoying as Sam’s boyfriend is the biggest plot twist of the year. He knew exactly what he was doing."

User 471: "Max was right there, roasting himself in public, and we all thought he was talking about someone else. 10/10 trolling."

User 472: "People were calling Max toxic, and it was literally a joke all this time.’ The ultimate power move."

User 473: "For me it's just how chill they both were when Christian accidentally outed them live."

Fan Edits (posted on Twitter and TikTok):

User 474: "Max: ‘Sam’s boyfriend is the worst cook ever.’ || Max: burns toast, orders food, makes sure Sam is happy and fed."

User 475: Video compilation of fan filmed videos of Max texting and just messing around with his phone while the background music is quieter as he is quoted: "‘Sam’s boyfriend is clingy and texts constantly.’" ||

User 476: "Max: ‘Yeah, Sam’s boyfriend? Totally a nightmare.’ || Picture of Sam and Max hanging out laughing in the paddock."

User 477: "Max: ‘Sam’s boyfriend sucks in the kitchen.’ || Max pretending to cook while Sam actually does all the work in the small community kitchen in Milton Keynes filmed for Red Bull PR."

User 478: "Max: ‘I’m a total disaster as Sam’s boyfriend.’ || Also Max: is the fastest man on the planet, WDC."

User 479: "Max: ‘I don’t even know how Sam puts up with him.’ || Sam: ‘Yeah, me neither.’"

---

Max (grinning after reading comments): "I think they’re slowly getting used to the idea of us…"

Sam (laughing): "You literally called yourself a ‘total disaster’ multiple times and no one knew."

Max (playfully): "Hey, at least I’m honest."

Sam (mock seriousness): "You did burn breakfast twice last week."

Max (smirking as he feigns offense): "Hey, you distracted me!"

---

Fans couldn’t get over how Max had played them for so long, turning every negative comment into an exaggerated joke about himself. Now that the truth was out, the internet was in a frenzy, loving every second of it.

Fans shared more clips, commenting on Max’s self-deprecating humor.

---

Fan Tweets:

User 480: "Max calling himself the worst boyfriend ever is the ultimate ‘f you’ to all his haters, and I respect the hell out of it."

User 481: "Max Verstappen: ‘Sam’s boyfriend is a total disaster.’ Max Verstappen, also: wins every race of the season so far."

User 482: "Max called himself ‘the clingiest, most annoying guy ever,’ and we just thought he was being jelaous. I love this man."

User 483: "The way Max has been calling himself out this whole time is brilliant. Dude really trolled us all."

User 484: "Max trolled the haters by calling himself Sam’s ‘nightmare boyfriend,’ while actually being the best one. I can’t get over it."

---

Max and Sam still couldn’t stop laughing as more comments came flooding in, watching as the world finally pieced it all together. Even though they’d been outed, neither of them cared. Max had been in on the joke the whole time, and now the fans were in on it too.

Max (mock serious): "So… should I stop with the comments about the boyfriend?"

Sam (grinning): "Please. Or at least say how great you are to me."

Max (smirking): "Fine. But just because I don't want to be believed the worst boyfriend ever."

Sam (smiling lovingly at him): "And yet… you’re still better than everyone else."