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talenlee · 7 months ago

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Tricks Month 2024!

I love tricks.

I love magic, I love dice and cards and all the other things Mr. Mistoffelees gets credit for being into, but he’s a cat, who cares what he can do. I guess it is impressive to do card tricks with paws, but also, Jellicle cats make a point of avoiding being seen, which that says just a true lack of showmanship. The point isn’t the trick, it’s the trick being seen.

Anyway,

I don’t know how much of this blog being a do-it-yourself project comes through. I’m not consulting with people, as a thing, about how to do blogs. There are a thousand blogs about blogs out there, countless spilled out mealy-mouthed mushvibes that are about how to Maximise Engagement and the Science of Listener Attention and all sorts of things in that space. They range from the comprehensive and unuseful to the brief and unuseful, because I’m not reading them. Doesn’t matter how good they are at what they say they do, if I don’t engage with them, and I don’t engage with them because overwhelmingly, they are a boring kind of sludge that hasn’t convinced me to look at them, so how good can they be about making good blogs? Why would I take advice on how to make my blog engaging from people who are making their blogs incredibly boring?

This isn’t to say principles like column width or text presence on screen or paragraph depth are bad ideas to understand. I just tend to get that information from people who are experts in the space rather than reading a Content Pipe that wants to produce a new article every day about a new thing, like turning a conventional and sensible manual into a series of daily posts.

These digressions though, they’re about conveying my ideas in a spoken style. It’s deliberate, dad. Haha, big joke, my dad would never read what I wrote.

Anyway, that means that any time you see a feature or pattern in this blog, it is inevitably something that I imposed on myself for myself. I picked the theme months on even months because it seemed to me to be a tidy way to do things, and the symmetry of it appealed to me. January, an odd month, could be all sorts of accumulated detritus from the year before I didn’t get around to, wrapup lists, whatever happened tin the whole of December, that kinda thing. Then the theme months spilled out from there — my birthday is in April, Pride Month is June, well established, and October is spooky season on the internet mostly, which sort of fenced out three of the six even months. February having both the start of Easter (I know) and Valentines’ Day in it gave me options and I knew I didn’t spend a lot of time watching romance media, which pushed it into place there.

I think it’s healthy to broaden your horizons however you can and the wiggling I’ve done to get around the restrictions of Smooch Month — a restriction that I imposed and that nobody has ever complained about — has certanly taught me that. Pride Month also represents a challenge because I’m always struggling around how to handle Game Piles — what do I do about games made by indie creators that are full of queer content but suck in some way that’s the most interesting thing I can see to say about them? These months are the ones with a challenge to them, the months where I spend my time looking around desperately for ways to make things that work together and don’t leave me feeling like I’m cheating on the theme.

Tricks month?

Tricks month is so much easier.

Conspiracies! Magic tricks! The stories of our history of absolute fucking weirdoes! The way that I feel about having to live deceitfully! Things that people do to fool themselves! Game mechanisms for duping you! Themes around spies lies and disguise! Twist endings! Controlling attention! There’s so much stuff in this space that I love!

Where most months there’s some scraping for the theme space, Tricks month feels like every month I’m going to run into a wall and go ‘oh well I have to save this for next time,’ or maybe even stitch together two articles on a similar theme so I don’t have to wait a year to talk about it again.

My love of magic is one of those things that still surprises people when they find out about it. It’s like my love of rollercoasters. Yeah, that’s a weird thing to know, I know. It’s partly because we just don’t have many of them in this country and I haven’t been to one in decades but I still deeply love the whole experience of a rollercoaster and find watching videos about how they work and the ways they’re designed, that’s very exciting. Uh where was I. Oh yes, misdirection about my friends’ lack of interest in my ability to do magic.

Somehow it’s a thing that people who have known me for decades can go without ever discovering about me, which is probably as much a thing I need to beat myself up for as anything. It’s also because the idea of being interested in magic, and showing people magic tricks is itself, social poison. I wonder at times if I’m actually a very shy person – despite my day job involving standing up in front of a room full of people and trying to command their attention. That’s a different situation, that’s where I’m imparting expertise and trying to communicate to people something they’re paying to see. When it’s a magic trick I’m doing something to you, I’m showing you, the audience something, but I’m doing it in order to do something to you.

Practice makes perfect, and no matter how much I practice, no matter how confident I am in the technique, I’m always showing something of myself. I’m trying to do something impressive and I’m trying to make you feel like I’m doing something cool.

And that’s why my friends don’t see me do magic.

Weird.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Diary #Meta

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charlie-pippin-faraday · 3 years ago

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House of Anubis birthday headcanons

This is a branch off my previous post where I talked about birthdays and star signs. Now I’m gonna talk about more detailed and ~fun~ headcanons

They are the 1995-96 school year

Nina and Joy are the oldest (I’ve already had lengthy discussions about this, about whether they’re the oldest or youngest. I personally believe they’re the oldest, so that’s what I’m going with in my headcanons). Their birthday is July 7, 1995 (Cancers 🦀). And yes usually July birthdays are on the younger end, but the wiki says Amber’s September birthday and Eddie’s November birthday are 1995, and fall birthdays are definitely on the older end. This means that the January-June birthdays of that year are gonna be in 1996. It’s not totally out of the question for a summer/July birthday to be on the older end instead of the younger one. Because Eddie’s November ‘95 and he’s in their year, they kind of have to be the oldest. So, conclusion: Nina and Joy are the oldest ones in the house

Both Nina and Joy definitely had pool parties for their birthday as kids. One or both of them almost definitely had ice cream cake at least once. Nina also thinks the idea of being in school on her birthday is barbaric

Season 3 is their senior year, meaning it’s the year they’re all turning 18. This is part of the reason Amber was making such a big deal about her birthday in S3; 1) it’s Amber so of course and 2) it was her 18th birthday, so she absolutely wanted it to be special

Because they were all turning 18, Amber wanted to make everyone’s birthday special. She planned to throw parties for everyone’s birthdays (except Joy, RIP, who turned 18 in the summer before the school year started). However, Amber wasn’t actually around to throw any of those parties. But she did leave all her party stuff behind, so the rest of them use her party supplies for everyone’s 18th birthday parties

Amber’s birthday is September 9 (a Virgo 😘), so every year she sees her birthday as the celebration to kick off the school year. She wants a huge celebration and a party and cake and presents for her birthday every year. She’s also definitely the high school girl who had her friends decorate her locker and had birthday balloons tied to her bag that she carried around all day on her birthday every year. She also definitely wore like a birthday tiara

I believe that Mara is a Libra (⚖️), and that her birthday is in early October (my headcanon is Oct. 6). She likes having a fall birthday because she likes how cozy it is and she likes to indulge in a pumpkin spice latte. She doesn’t like to make a huge deal about her birthday, and whenever people try to make a fuss she’s like no no there’s no need to make a big deal. She doesn’t want like the world’s biggest party, however, if anyone tries to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do on her birthday, she gets very pissy

Eddie’s birthday is November 19 (fuckin Scorpio 🦂), meaning that it is very close to American Thanksgiving. As a child he would always say to his mother that Thanksgiving “got in the way” of his birthday

Patricia’s birthday is December 8 (Sagittarius 🏹), and originally she’s not a big fan of her birthday and it makes her angry because she has to share her birthday with Piper (obviously) like she has to share everything. Birthday parties as children were not fun for Patricia bc obviously there would be one party for the both of them and her parents would skew it towards Piper. Patricia resented her birthday for awhile. However, Joy, always tries to go out of her way to make her birthday special and just for her (“You will have a good time on your birthday, Patricia!”), and eventually she comes around to enjoying her birthday as long as it’s exclusively her birthday

Fabian is absolutely a Capricorn (🐐), everything about him screams Capricorn. Which means his birthday is anywhere from late December to mid-January, and I believe his birthday is definitely two days before Christmas. He gets really grumpy and bitter about his birthday because of that; his birthday constantly gets pushed to the side for Christmas, and he can never spend his birthday with his friends because it’s always over the holidays. He says it’s fine (“it’s fine”) and that he’s just not a big birthday person, but that’s a lie he’s just grumpy about it. He was gifted many combo birthday-Christmas gifts as a child which he was not a fan of. He also does a little bit of “i hate my birthday out of spite” in the vein of Chandler Bing and Thanksgiving, but like only a little bit [side note: my dad’s birthday is two days after Christmas, so I can confirm that people with Christmas-adjacent birthdays are absolutely grumpy and “woe is me” like this]

I believe KT is an Aquarius (🏺) and that her birthday is at the very end of January (my headcanon is Jan. 29). She was definitely that kid in school who brought cupcakes into school on her birthday, and she continues this tradition at Anubis House. She wakes up early on her birthday so that she can make cupcakes to bring to class. Alfie’s a big fan

Willow is for sure a Pisces (🐟), and her birthday is in late February (my headcanon is Feb. 24). The thing she wants the most for her birthday every single year is for it to snow on her birthday. She wants her birthday to be “a winter wonderland.” And whenever it does actually snow on her birthday, it’s the best thing to ever happen to her in her entire life, and she spends all day in the snow

I believe Mick is an Aries (🐏), and his birthday is in late March (my headcanon is March 30)

I believe Alfie is also an Aries (🐏), and in my mind is birthday is on April Fool’s Day. No one believes him when he tells them at first. His birthday is always a riot. Everyone feels bad about getting mad at his April Fool’s Day pranks because they don’t want to make him upset on his birthday, and because of this he goes just a little bit mad with power

Because their birthdays are 2 days apart, Alfie and Mick often had joint birthday festivities. Alfie loves sharing; Mick is not so keen about it. Alfie often takes over the birthday festivities and tends to make them more about himself, which steams Mick a little bit. However, Alfie also enthusiastically calls the two of them “birthday buddies” which Mick can’t help but like

I can totally see Trudy either A) making two cakes or B) making one of those cakes that’s split down the middle, like one half is chocolate/chocolate and one half is vanilla/vanilla or whatever. And she totally puts their faces on the cake (which they both would love) and puts the face on each respective half so they know whose is whose. “Whoever’s cake you pick is who you love more,” Alfie declares every year, making the whole house choose sides

Now Jerome, I believe, is a Gemini (👯‍♀️), and his birthday is in mid-June (my headcanon is June 11). This means he’s the youngest one in the house, which he absolutely fucking hates. He tries to keep his birthday a secret from everyone for the longest time. For awhile, they think that Alfie is the youngest, and he would prefer to keep it that way. He absolutely does not want anyone to know that he is anubis house baby. He declares the day they find out the truth the worst day of his life. Everyone makes jokes about it which angers him to no end. “I am the tallest one here!! Don’t disrespect me like this!!” “Yeah but you’re still the baby of the house. Have you hit puberty yet?”

Once Jerome’s 18th birthday hits and they have the final 18th birthday party, Trudy gets incredibly emotional because all of her babies are adults now. She definitely cries a little. Or a lot

#please enjoy my birthday headcanons #the headcanon that jerome is the youngest is so fucking funny and so important to me actually #house of anubis #nina martin #joy mercer #amber millington #mara jaffray #eddie miller #patricia williamson #fabian rutter #kt rush #willow jenks #mick campbell #alfie lewis #jerome clarke

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nixotinix · 4 years ago

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Oh no! It's time for more obligatory ✨Heartless Headcanons!✨ This one is more about the groups as a whole and their interactions with one another.

All these fellows belong to @abd-illustrates !

Again, gonna be long. So feel free to scroll past! Also happy April fool's ig, there ain't nothing in this post for it, just ✨Heartless Headcanons✨

TW: brief mention of torture & execution, dissections, and blood

Heartless & Company

Also colloquially named the Protag Team.

-The Jury runs a high-end casino somewhere, which led to everyone finding out that Alchemy and Eira are incredible at gambling, and the rest of them suck.

-To add onto that last one, Alchemy is good because they're good at controlling their facial expressions, and Eira is good because he just has resting poker face.

-Meanwhile, Heartless and Flint suck at gambling because they can't pull a straight face to save their lives, Glass and River physically cannot lie, and Doppel probably shouted out his hand before he even played it. He thought they were playing Go Fish.

-If you lose in said casino, you work for The Jury until you can pay off your debt. Doppel had to clean a lot of toilets, but he did get some good intel out of it.

-Heartless likes frogs and squirrels.

-Frogchamp is the Protag Team's pet. River found him, Heartless named him, Eira was strongly against it, but the rest of them were adament on keeping him. Frogchamp usually sits in one of the Doppel's bags.

-Eira and Heartless can both sleep anywhere at any time. Heartless because, well, we know why, and Eira because he's in the Royal Guard and has had to sleep in some real bad places.

-Doppel has tried to kidnap pigeons on more than one occasion. Has been caught on all of those occasions since it's illegal to "capture wild birds." Has complained about it to Heartless & Co. nonstop. Most often at 3 in the morning when they're just trying to sleep.

-Flint and Eira take turns telling stories (sometimes scary) around their fire when they can't find a hotel. Eira once told a story that had the entire group sleeping in one tent.

-River is still trying to get Flint to go vegan. She makes him eat at least one (1) salad a week so he isn't surviving purely on meat skewers.

-Flint gives everyone a nickname. Heartless is Pikachu, Alchemy is Hot Pink, Eira is Baby Blue, Doppel is Heather, Glass is Lavender, and River is Daisy.

The Jury

-Nobody ever wants to go to Creed's office, willingly or not. For one, it's like a fucking escape room in there (I will elaborate if interest is shown) and two, it smells like cobwebs and old books.

-Anyone is free to leave The Jury at any time. The rules only state that they report to Alastor and give him their reason for leaving so he can "relieve them of their duties." Nobody knows what that means.

-If someone does try to leave The Jury without doing what is previously mentioned, they are to be apprehended and punished, which usually involves torture and/or execution.

-Lance has a catchphrase. It is: "Loving yourself is totally hardcore" usually accompanied with finger guns. Alastor has a catchphrase for after Lance says his catchphrase. It is: "Every day I can feel my sanity slipping away from me."

-Alastor has a throne. He's not a king by any means of the word, but it makes him feel powerful and it makes others scared of him. He did not give Lorelei a throne. Out of spite, Diana and Bandy helped her make one.

-Lorelei once gifted Creed a stuffed elephant to help with his insomnia. He took the gift, but called it childish. Rumour has it that it's still sitting somewhere in his office. (Spoiler alert: it is)

-Speaking of stuffed animals, Dock has several to dissect. He likes to shape the stuffing inside into organs.

-Dock has Massive Mommy Milkers™. The person who spawned this idea in my head definitely knows who they are.

-Alastor, Lorelei, and Dock have a permanent ban from the kitchen. Alastor because Lorelei doesn't want him around anything that could hurt him, Dock because he's probably going to dissect something on the kitchen island, and Lorelei because she once gave everyone in The Jury food poisoning by mixing MnMs and Peeps into canned chili.

-Diana is shockingly good at taking care of plants and has a massive collection of succulents and cactuses.

-Bandy once switched all of the ink in The Jury's headquarters with cow's blood. During tax season. They got a lot of angry and confused letters from the tax people and forensic scientists.

#heartless #abd illustrates #alchemy valentine #flint solveig #eira hale #doppel/glass #doppel glass #river dial #alastor creed #dock heartless #lorelei #bandy bellamis #diana shikari #lance lothaire #Heartless Headcanons

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darcylandcrackchallenge · 4 years ago

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Hey y’all! It’s that time of year again!

In honor of April Fool’s Day, we’re hosting another crack-tacular writing challenge! The fifth annual one! This year, @thestanceyg is joining me ( @dresupi ) as a mod, and we had SO MUCH fun coming up with the prompts this year!

This event is open to everyone; every fic rating is welcome. Do you want some crack-tastic smut? SMUT IT UP, BABY. If smut’s not something that speaks to you, that’s FINE. We still want to read everything your gorgeous brain can create! Do you want more gen crack with no ships? WRITE THAT THING! Treat yo self and everyone else while you’re at it. You’re an amazing author and we NEED THAT FIC! As long as it features our favorite doctor of astrophysics, Darcy Lewis, we wanna read it, and it’s on-point, sweetheart!

Rules:

While this is really more geared towards fic writers, you can create any kind of fanwork you want. (Graphics, fic, art)

Your work must feature Darcy Lewis. (Natch, I mean…this is a Darcyland event)

Crossovers are fine, as long as… you know… Darcy is involved. ;)

You may not use this list for anything non-Darcy related. We came up with this list specifically with Darcy in mind, please respect that!

If you want, you can add fics to the collection we made on ao3

Rate and tag your fics appropriately, any rating is fine, but please be aware when you rate and tag!

No word limit for fics or drabbles

Posting begins on April 5, 2021, and will go on until April 11, 2021 (although you can post to the collection until April 30).

Tag us in your fics to make sure we see them so we can reblog them to this page! We’re @darcylandcrackchallenge, FYI. You can also tag our tumblrs as well, @dresupi or @thestanceyg

But, it IS a crack challenge. So keep it silly, y’all! The point is to be lighthearted and as CRACKY as possible. (From Fanlore: “…crack can describe fanworks with a fundamentally ludicrous premise, or otherwise including a plethora of unbelievable, incredible, or just plain silly elements…”)

HAVE FUN! I mean, it’s supposed to be fun, bb. <3

Stancey and I have created a list of prompts that we thought would live up to the lists from the past years. In fact, there are three legacy prompts from previous years included on this list! With it being the fifth annual crack challenge, we figured it was necessary, right? Also, these were some of the most fun prompts from previous years, so go nuts!

The detailed prompt list is under the cut:

Sucked into a book - Oh no! Darcy’s been sucked into an alternate universe inside a book! You pick which book and you pick what happens. Just remember, it’s gotta be cracky!

A literally sticky situation - Nothing figurative about this one. Something’s sticky and it’s a SITUATION.

‘Anything-except-sex’ pollen - What’s written on the tin. Anything except sex pollen. It’s pollen that makes Darcy crave corndogs while singing The Sound of Music. Or maybe she got a whiff of a strange flower and now she only speaks in Dr. Seuss quotes. WHO KNOWS?? Only you! (And us after we read, of course)

Animal Hijinks - That pesky *insert animal here*. Any animal. Any.

Must include Mac and Cheese - You heard it here first. Mac and Cheese. It’s needed for this prompt.

Cosplay no one can guess - Darcy really thought she put together a very clever outfit. Too bad no one knows who she’s supposed to be.

Anti-gravity - It’s your choice how it happens, but there is zero gravity and nothing makes sense now!

#Darcy Lewis #Darcyland #DLAF2021 #Darcyland Crack Challenge #Crack Challenge

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angeltrapz · 4 years ago

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saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

#thank u so much I love getting asks frm u!!!!!!#mutual support hours <3 #saw #eric #adam #art #daniel #others r mentioned #listen. a family can be u yr dad n his two boyfriends n yr all traumatized but yr coping together.#it pulls u together instead of tearing u apart.#which is a concept I desperately wish we could've seen more!! it's what they all deserved damn it!!#long post #asks #gnna go thru n tag these w that so I can like. maybe make a masterpost l8r?#if any1 is interested in tht!

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aviss · 4 years ago

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a year-in-review meme - for writers!

I thought up this writing meme for fic writers who might have been staring at the artists having their lovely and well-deserved collages of their work through the year - and wanted to join in the fun! also this works as a great reminder for those of you (and me) who’ve been thinking that they haven’t been writing as much as they want to, and allows you to go back to enjoy your old fic ;D

Rules: pick your favourite sentence from a work you posted / wrote during a month of 2020! if you didn’t write anything in any particular month, don’t worry! tell us what you were doing or use it as free space for runner-up sentences. after that, tag 8 people or more to do the meme!

I was tagged by the lovely @ladyxxdaydream so here is mine:

January:

Matchmaker - Kakashi/Iruka - I just love soft, established relationship for these two. Especially when they have a mischievous side.

On the way back to the living room, Kakashi grabbed him by the waist and pulled until Iruka was wedged between his legs and the table. "Are we going to tell him?" he questioned with a mischievous smile. He moved his hands to cup Iruka's ass, food apparently forgotten, and pressed his face against Iruka's stomach.

"Eventually. We can tease him a bit first."

Iruka felt the vibrations of Kakashi's chuckle against his abs, the warmth of his breath and the fingers pressing just barely on the cleft of his ass incredibly arousing. "You're evil," Kakashi said, approving. "I knew there was a reason I loved you."

"I thought it was because of my ass."

February:

Westeros Most Haunted - Jaime/Brienne - What can I say, I love horror stories.

They walked as quick as the darkness permitted, running there was as bad an idea as staying still, and clutched each other's hands. "This is the last time I'm filming without a full crew," she said, and as soon as she spoke there a single note began to play, softly at first but gaining volume the same as the noise had before.

She liked it even less than she had the noise.

Jaime's hand squeezed hers hard enough to hurt but she didn't complain. "Oh fuck," was all he said when a second note and then a third followed, then he was moving faster and pulling Brienne with him. "Run, Brienne, run!"

She did, she knew what song was beginning to play and she knew the doors would close when it did.

They didn't want to be trapped on this side of the door.

March:

Ghost in the Machine - Jaime/Brienne - WestWorld AU, because they made it too easy for me to go there.

"There is a war coming," Maeve said. Jaime wasn't surprised. There was always a war, somehow. That thing in Westworld the man had been talking about, the fear in his voice when he had spoken about it that Jaime had ignored at the time. "And I can't fight it on my own."

"Why me?" There had been so many like him, so many other hosts. Jaime knew about war, but only in his little place, in this little fantasy world someone had written for them.

Maeve could have chosen anyone to fight with her.

"Because you are like me, you fought your programing to get back to her the same way I always tried to get back to my daughter. If they hadn't closed this park, you would have eventually got there on your own, I just got you there faster." She handed him the tablet.

April:

D-Rank mission scrolls - Kakashi/Iruka - Iruka in sexy lady clothing, enough said.

Iruka thought about his options; he could run back home and hide under the bed, pack his belongings and flee the village in the middle of the night. Naruto would miss him but he'd always thought he'd make a pretty good missing-nin, though they'd probably send Kakashi after him and he'd die of embarrassment without even giving him a fight. He could also pretend there was nothing out of the ordinary with his attire, as if academy teachers usually dressed in sexy female clothes, apologize to Kakashi and knock on the next door, hoping this time it was Raidou's house. He could also murder Kotetsu for having such appalling penmanship, and the rest of his friends for not being where they should have been.

May:

In Vino Veritas - Kakashi/Iruka - Another of my favourite tropes, second chances

"I almost proposed, once upon a time." He downed his glass and refilled it, using the last of the second jar and signalling for a third. He was feeling the effects of the drink, his tongue loosening, but he didn't mind. Not if it was with Iruka.

Iruka's eyes sharpened on him. "You did? To whom?" There was something in his voice, curiosity and sadness and maybe some jealousy. It was that what made Kakashi think, fuck it, and throw open the can.

"To you."

Iruka closed his eyes as if in pain and downed his glass, refilling it and downing it again.

"I would have said yes." It was Kakashi's turn to drink to ease the lump in his throat. "Do you remember why we broke up?" he finally asked, as if the sake had given him the courage he needed for the question.

June:

The House on the side of the Road - Kakashi/Iruka - again, horror story. Tooke me over four years to finish, but it was worth it.

It was raining. Again.

It was the thing Kakashi hated the most about autumn. The rain, and the chill that settled in the air and made people's mood turn foul, and the fact that Umino Iruka had disappeared on a day not unlike this one, windy and chilly and rainy.

It had been a year since Iruka had failed to return from his mission, practically vanishing into thin air on the road between Ame and Konoha. That same road Kakashi was travelling through now. Kakashi could still remember everything about the day Iruka had been declared MIA, the search party that had been sent to Ame to look for either him or his body. They had returned empty-handed, shaking their heads and declaring Iruka had just vanished into thin air. Without a body, without proof of any attack on him, Iruka couldn't be declared dead. The conclusion, one that didn't sit well with anyone who had ever known him, was that he had deflected, gone rogue.

July:

This Above All - Jaime/Brienne - Jaime coming out as genderfluid with his own parade

That's not the main thing, though. Seeing it like that, hearing the same things Cersei used to tell him growing up has done for Jaime what years of therapy have not managed. He's spent years and thousands of dragons coming to grips with the fact that he's not a freak for feeling sometimes like a woman and wanting soft things for himself, but he hadn't yet found the resolve to take the last step to be fully himself in public and bring the wrath of Tywin over his head.

Now he's angry enough at the treatment of his nephew to get the heir of the Lannister empire, at least until Tywin sees this, on the front page of all magazines dressed as a woman on the pride parade. He has a plan, he's kind of constructed his career around this moment without acknowledging he was doing it, has put the money his mother let him towards his own architecture studio and other small-time investments. Small-time for a Lannister but enough that he doesn't have to fear being left without resources. And neither does his cousin.

Jaime's also contacted an old friend and knows there is a place in the Martell float for him, ensuring maximum visibility because Jaime can do nothing by halves; if he's going to set his life on fire, he wants a bonfire the Seven can see from the heavens.

August:

Just as Sweet (just as thorny) - Jaime/Brienne - Secret identities, second chances, competency kink. It has all my faves

Jaime shouldn't be doing this.

He's going to be fired or punched, more than likely both. It will be no less than he deserves, he's broken the one rule of his department and he was already on shaky ground with Selmy after the whole Baratheon operation fuckup. If this gets back to him, and he doesn't fool himself that it won't, Jaime's as good as out of a job and not even his family name can save him this time. At the very least he'll be reassigned to the fucking Wall unit, something Selmy has been threatening to do for years when Jaime becomes especially obnoxious.

He looks at Brienne, her blue eyes wide and filling with tears, her entire posture radiating hurt and shock and anger and he couldn't care less. If she forgives him and gives him another chance, Jaime will present his resignation himself.

"Jay?" Brienne asks, her voice lost in the din of the club but he's seen her mouth shape that name enough times he can hear her voice in his head, down to the break at the end.

He leans forward again. "Jaime, my name is Jaime."

That's when she punches him.

September:

Skin Deep - Jaime/Brienne - Brienne owns a strip club asn it’s the most oblivious person on earth.

"She shook my hand," Jaime moans into his drink while Pia and Hilda laugh at him. It's Brienne day off and Jaime is there, sitting in her club surrounded by her employees and friends and missing her. Maybe she's really not interested, though he's seen her looking and there have been times when she was blushing and looking at his mouth, that Jaime was convinced he could just lean forward and kiss her and she'd kiss back, then those moments pass and he's back to wondering if he really is so out of practice flirting that she's not realized yet. If she wasn't interested she would just reject his advances, wouldn't she? "You all suck as wingmen and Brienne is the most oblivious person on earth. What do I have to do, dance naked in front of her so she realizes I want her!"

He groans into his drink when he sees the look Pia and Hilda exchange. "That's an excellent idea, Jaime. Roz! Satin! Come here!"

Jaime looks from one to the other and shakes his head vehemently. "No way. I am not doing that."

Famous last words.

October:

Hollow - Jaime/Brienne - The FMA AU I am not writing (and I keep not writing). This one is not posted because it insists on being a multichapter and I refuseto post it until I have at least another chapter done.

"Another fool," a voice says, low and all encompassing, and Jaime turns in the direction it came from to find nothing but a vague shape of a person, almost like a cutout of lines in the whiteness except for deep red eyes and the biggest ruby ever where its throat should be. "Who are you looking for, fool? Lover or family?"

Jaime narrows his eyes at the speaker. "Neither," he says, because Brienne is almost one of those things, but he's never had the courage to examine which one. "Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter, I've had many names since the beginning of time. I'm the World, and The Flames, and Truth, and Magic and Alchemy. I'm Everything and I am Nothing. " The eyes move past Jaime's shoulder and he turns to look, where there was nothing before now a huge door wreathed in flames stands. "And you, fool, are about to learn all I know."

November:

The Drowned Heart - Jaime/Brienne - an Old Guard AU where I make them suffer a lot.

Brienne pushes herself up on her elbows to see him better. "Will I see you again?" she asks instead of asking him to stay.

"Of course you will, wench, I don't think I can stay away from you forever." He looks at her with some chagrin. "I might kill you again when I do."

"I don't mind," Brienne says, it's the truth. "As long as you kiss me again when I come back."

Jaime closes the distance between them in two quick strides and kneels next to her, hands tangling on her head as he presses their lips together. This kiss is the kind she remembers, the kind they have shared a million times just because they could. It's gentle and sweet, a slow exploration of her mouth, his tongue probing and teasing, and so very arousing. He kisses her, and kisses her until they both run out of breath, and then puts their foreheads together and the look in his eyes is so full of love she wants to cry again.

"I will always kiss you again."

December:

The Prodigal Son - Jaime/Brienne - A view of a good future through the eyes of an outsider.

Spring had finally come to the Westerlands after the longest and harshest winter in memory, something Celys had not been sure they would live to see. The realm had been ravaged by war and cold and famine, too many people had died during that time, and even those living in Lannisport and the small towns surrounding Casterly Rock had felt the bite of hunger, something not even the Lannister gold had been able to keep at bay.

Now the snow had melted and the sun warmed them again, a new crop had been planted and there was a new Targaryen King in King's Landing, one with the blood of the dragons but raised as a northerner, and the Lord of Casterly Rock was his Hand.

And tagging @albatrossisland @ddagent @sdwolfpup @nire-the-mithridatist @scoundrels-in-love @wildlingoftarth @slipsthrufingers @angel-deux-writes and whoever else wants to do it!

#tag games #My writing #Jaime x Brienne #kakashi/iruka

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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years ago

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The Weekend Warrior 5/7/21: WRATH OF MAN, HERE TODAY, THE UNTHINKABLE, MONSTER, THE WATER MAN and More

It’s a new month, and I guess going by previous years pre-COVID, this weekend would normally be the start of summer. This year, we’re instead getting a summer with a lot of movies that would normally be dumped into April or February or some other uneventful month. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t or won’t be any good movies, but really, there’s nothing that feels like a summer movie until A Quiet Place Part II and Disney’s Cruella open on Memorial Day weekend.

There’s been lots of great developments, though, including the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn reopening this Friday and then in a few short weeks, theaters may be allowed to be open with no capacity rules although social distancing and masks will probably still be in place. Believe me, it’s been a confusing week as the city that got used to being on the backburner when it comes to reopenings, especially with movie theaters, is now dealing with arguing politicians competing to see who could throw open the then most doors fastest. It’s actually pretty embarrassing.

That aside, this week’s The Weekend Warrior column is brought to you by the new album “Coral Island” from Liverpool band The Coral, which I’ve decided to listen to on loop until I finish this column, because it’s taking me so long to get through it. (Eventually, I switched to Teenage Fanclub’s “Endless Arcade,” since I hadn’t had a chance to listen to it yet…. And to an old standby, Royal Blood, with their own excellent new album, “Typhoons.” At least the record business seems to know it’s the summer!)

Before we get to this week’s new movies, a couple tidbits. First of all, I’m thrilled that my friends Larissa Lam and Baldwin Chiu’s documentary FAR EAST DEEP SOUTH can finally be seen by the entire world, or at least the United States. It debuted on PBS World Channel on Tuesday night as part of the “America ReFramed” series, but for the entire month of May until June 3, you can watch it On Demand HERE, and that is huge! (There will be other ways to see it that you can read about here.)

This is an amazing MUST-SEE doc that looks into the little-known Chinese communities that took root in Mississippi in the early 20th Century and how they became such a huge part of that area with their markets, also bonding with the African-American communities that were similarly dealing with racism from the typically white post-Civil War South. It’s not just a history lesson, and it’s an incredibly moving story about a family trying to find its roots in the most unexpected places. There was a good reason why the couple’s short “Finding Cleveland” won the Oxford Film Festival while I was on the jury that year, and Far East Deep South similarly won an award there last year after its World Premiere at Cinequest was almost scuppered by COVID. It’s amazing how much more relevant and important this film has become since I first saw it last year, since both Asians and African-Americans are dealing with serious racial issues, and this movie shows that more than anything, they should be working to boost each other rather than fighting. Do check it out On Demand this month if you get a chance!

Another musician making movies is Mr. Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. I mentioned his documentary WHAT DRIVES US last week, but I actually only got to watch it on Thursday, and like his previous film Studio City and HBO mini-series, Sonic Highways, it’s a fantastic look at the music biz, this time through a variety of artists who began their careers by piling into vans and driving around the country. That is, except Lars Ulrich from Metallica, who mentions that the band was never so small or indie that they didn’t have a bus. But Grohl has used his vast connections to bring in a lot of great musicians including The Edge from U2, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and more, making this a very entertaining movie both for fans of the various bands but also live music fans in general. I gotta admit that as much as I loved What Drives Us, it did bring me down a bit since it’s been almost 14 months since I’ve seen any live music, and I really miss it. This is now streaming on The Coda Collection, which you can subscribe to through Amazon Prime Video.

Guy Ritchie is back with his latest movie, WRATH OF MAN (Miramax/MGM), which reunites him with Jason Statham for the first time since 2007’s Revolver, I believe. Statham plays the enigmatic Paul “H” Hill who works at cash truck company Fortico, responsible for moving hundreds of million dollars around Los Angeles each week. Fortico has recently been hit by a lethal robbery, and H’s team soon learn that there’s a lot more to their new coworker, who happens to be looking for revenge against the man who murdered his son.

(Unfortunately, reviews for the movie are embargoed until Thursday at 6pm, so I can’t tell you whether it’s any good or not. Until Thursday night. Sorry!)

But I will talk about the movie’s box office prospects, because why not? Ritchie’s last movie, The Gentlemen, opened in January 2020, during the “before times,” with $10.6 million, but that was more of a classic Ritchie ensemble crime-comedy. Wrath of Man is more of the type of movie Statham has been making over the past few years, a cross between a revenge thriller and a heist flick. In fact, Statham has done a pretty good job creating his own brand through a variety of action-thrillers as well as a number of franchises including “The Transporter” movies, “The Expendables,” and eventually joining the “Fast and the Furious” franchise as Deckard Shaw with Furious 7 in 2017. Statham then went off to make Hobbs and Shaw with Dwayne Johnson, which didn’t do bad with $174 million. Before that, Statham starred in The Meg, a summer shark attack movie that grossed $145 million. Statham going back to help his old mate i.e. the director that gave Statham his start is pretty huge.

But as I said earlier, those were all in the “before times” and with the box office the way it is, it’s hard to imagine that the exciting reunion of Statham and Ritchie can open with more than $10 million but maybe closer to $8 million, because MGM/UA just doesn’t have the marketing clout of a Warner Bros. or Universal. Even so, that should be enough to be #1 this weekend as both Mortal Kombat and Demon Slayer continue to fall away. Unfortunately, if the movie *is* any good -- and I can’t tell you one way or another -- then by the time reviews hit, people will already have other plans for the weekend than to go see the movie. So yeah, that’s pretty dumb on the part of MGM, huh?

UPDATE: MGM is putting the movie into 2,876 theaters and maybe I'm being overly optimistic, because, as you'll read below, the movie IS pretty good and reviews have remained positive with the American reviews rolling in last night, still at 70% Fresh at this writing. Maybe that'll help the movie do a little better, maybe as much as $9 million, although I'll probably owe MGM an apology if it cracks $10 million, and I don't think it will.

Mini-Review: If you’ve seen the trailer for Wrath of Man, you might go into Guy Ritchie’s latest thinking you know what to expect, because it’s sure being sold as another typical Jason Statham revenge thriller. Don’t be fooled by the marketing, the movie really is Ritchie’s chance to make his own version of Heat, an L.A. heist movie that owes as much to Rashomon as another movie being released this week.

Wrath of Man begins with the heist of an armored truck that turns deadly with the wanton murder of a couple guards. From there, you might think we know where things are going when Statham’s “H” company whose truck was hit, and on his first day, he stops a similar heist by killing the truck’s attackers. H is immediately the hero of the company, although he still has quite a few suspicious coworkers and the feeling is quite mutual. Ritchie’s film then slips into the second episodic chapter which goes back five months to that initial heist where we learn that Statham’s son was killed by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I don’t want to go too much deeper into how the movie and story play out, because like The Gentlemen and some of Ritchie’s more intricate films, there’s a lot that purposefully isn’t made very apparent at the beginning. To many, this movie will be seen as even more macho than most of Ritchie's films, to the point where even the only woman guard, Dana, being just as macho as the men. As the movie begins, there’s a lot of joke-cracking and crotch-grabbing, all while Statham’s character silently observes and only acts when necessary.

The film’s shift to more of a classic Ritchie ensemble does slowly take place, but by the third chapter, it shifts to the group perpetrating the cash truck heists with an “inside person,” taking the movie to yet another place that makes it more obvious that this is Ritchie’s attempt at delving into the L.A. heist genre that other filmmakers have done so well.

Oddly, Statham doesn’t have too many lines, acting almost like a Terminator in his determination to right wrongs, but as always, Ritchie puts together a fantastic ensemble cast including a number of great American character actors who we rarely get to see in such great roles. I was particularly impressed with Jeffrey Donovan, who has appeared in a number of otherwise forgettable crime films this past year. The same can be said for Holt McCallany as H’s truck driver “Bullet,” but Ritchie also cast the likes of Josh Hartnett and Scott Eastwood in smaller yet still significant supporting roles, all of whom become more interesting as you start figuring out who all the players are.

Like I said, the movie is fairly macho and the few women play very small roles, but it’s how things are set-up in the first few acts to then change course and build to an absolutely amazing third act that will undoubtedly bear comparisons to Heat. And yet Wrath of Man (which is actually based on a little-seen French crime-thriller) does branch away from some of Ritchie’s standards, first of all by being far darker and even more violent with any of the wisecracking humor that pervades a lot of Ritchie’s work to counterbalance such violence disappearing once the flashbacks begin. It’s all punctuated by a fantastically tense score by Christopher Benstead, which seems a bit much at first but eventually settles into the perfect pace and tone for the action.

Despite disappearing for a good chunk of the movie, Statham is still great, basically killing everyone as his characters are wont to do, but watching how all of the different ideas come together leads to such a satisfying conclusion that one hopes those who might be put off, thinking they know where it's going due to the somewhat pathetic and obvious marketing will give it a chance to see how Ritchie has changed gears as effortlessly as he did with Aladdin a few years back.

Rating: 7.5/10

After even a longer time since he directed a movie, Billy Crystal once again takes the helm for HERE TODAY (Sony/Stage6), a movie in which he plays comedy writer Charlie Burns, whose chance encounter with Tiffany Haddish’s lounge singer, Emma Payge, leads to an unlikely friendship, as he struggles with early stage dementia.

I’ve known about this movie for over a year now, and I was pretty excited to finally get to see it, since I was such a fan of the other movies Crystal has directed, 1992’s Mr. Saturday Night and 1995’s Forget Paris, and it’s just amazing to me that he hasn’t directed a movie since.

At first, it seems like it’s the type of meet-cute we’ve seen so much in Crystal’s past filmography, but his pairing with Haddish isn’t something that might work on paper, but in fact, their comic styles mesh so perfectly together that it’s amazing that no one thought of putting them together before.

Crystal wrote the film with comic Alan Zweibel, who adapted it from his own short story “The Prize,” which refers to Haddish’s character winning Charlie in an auction for a lunch. Actually, her ex won the lunch, and she decided to use it because… free lunch! It’s a pretty simple set-up but one that allows the filmmakers to explore some of the odder things that happen in life.

Much of the movie’s humor plays upon the differences between the two characters, and how unexpected their friendship is. I can totally relate, because I have a lot of good long-time friends who most people might never expect us to be friends, but Crystal, Zweibel and Haddish pick up on that and create a movie that’s very funny but has enough other characters around the duo toa allow their characters to show how they’re just really nice people. We see that with how Charlie takes a young writer at his late night show under his wing or how Emma livens up the bat mitzvah of Charlie’s granddaughter. Oh yeah, and Haddish sings. She actually has a number of great performances in the movie, and seriously, anyone who watches this movie is gonna wanna see a smart filmmaker put Haddish in a musical immediately.

The film also acts as a truly touching tribute to Crystal’s friend, the late Robin WIlliams, who was diagnosed with the exact same type of dementia after his suicide death, and knowing that fact, makes the film even more poignant. More importantly, it doesn’t use Charlie’s condition for laughs, and for that alone, I feel like this is ten times better than that overrated Oscar winner The Father.

Here Today’s biggest problems come in the third act when it feels like the movie is starting to over-extend its welcome, even going into somewhat expected places, but it recovers from that rough third act to land a really nice ending. Crystal has always proven himself to be a really strong mainstream filmmaker (ala Rob Reiner and others) who makes crowd-pleasing movies, and it’s so nice seeing him going behind the camera for a movie that’s obviously very personal but also highly relatable.

As far as box office, I certainly have high hopes that Crystal still has an older audience of fans who might want to see him on the big screen again. I’m just not sure if this will be in more than 1,000 theaters, and though I’ve seen quite a bit of marketing, I just haven’t seen Crystal or Haddish do nearly as much in terms of getting out there that would be necessary to reach an audience that might want to venture out into movie theaters to see the movie vs. waiting until it’s on cable/streaming. There’s also Tiffany Haddish’ fanbase, and there could be some benefit for the movie coming out the same week as her new CBS show “Kids Say the Darndest Things.”

I’d love to be optimistic with this making $4 to 5 million but it’s probably more likely to be closer to $3 million especially with capacity limits still in place for most theaters and the audience generally being older.

UPDATE: Maybe I was a little too optimistic, because I enjoyed the movie so much and it will probably be closer to $1 or 1.5 million since other reviews aren't as great.

Next, we have two movies finally being released many years after their festival premieres…

The Swedish apocalyptic thriller THE UNTHINKABLE (Magnet), directed by Victor Danell, is finally being released after playing genre fests in 2018 and 2019. It stars Christoffer Nordenrot as Alex, a young piano virtuoso who ran away from home due to his abusive father Bjorn (Jesper Barkselius). Years later, he returns home for his mother’s funeral after she’s killed in a terrorist attack on Sweden. At the same, there’s a virus that’s erasing people’s memories, but Alex is still in love with Anna (Lisa Henni), the girl he had a crush on when he left, and the three of them will have to help each other face all the horrible things hitting their home at the same time.

As I was watching this movie, a lot of it felt eerily familiar to me, but I couldn’t figure out why. The more I watched it, the more I realized that I actually HAD seen the movie before. Sure enough, I saw this movie over two years ago at the “What the Fest?!” in New York two years ago, and I honestly don’t remember loving it. Still, I decided to give it a fresh look, hoping to get more out of it on second viewing.

Some of the same things bothered me on this second viewing, because it’s really hard to figure out exactly what is going on and whether the horrific events are natural, man-made or a combination of both. For some time, we get so mired into Alex’s lame relationship with Anna, and when he returns home, his conspiracy theory-driven father is busy protecting a bunker that’s being invaded by foreign military troops he thinks are Russians. We cut between these two disparate scenarios while sometimes returning to the capital of Sweden and throwing in a few big set pieces. It’s so disjointed that you feel like you’re watching a lot of random unrelated events, maybe a bit like last week’s About Endlessness -- maybe it’s a Swedish thing?

There are aspects of The Unthinkable that are quite commendable, particularly those action moments and how the mystery about what is happening develops as the film goes along. Eventually, the film does find a more consistent pace, and things start becoming a little clearer, which makes the final act better than much of what we’ve watched earlier. Even so, it’s still quite annoying how long it takes to figure out what’s going on, even on a second viewing, and for most people, that may already be far too frustrating to get through it.

Hitting Netflix on Friday over THREE years after it premiered at Sundance is music video director Anthony Mandler’s directorial debut, MONSTER (Netflix), based on the novel by Walter Dean Myers. It stars Kelvin Harrison Jr. (Waves) as Steve Harmon, a 17-year-old film student put in jail, accused of murder in a bodega robbery. His defense lawyer (Jennifer Ehle) is trying to help him be released, but he’s fighting against the odds of a judicial system that sees him as a “monster” because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have to be honest that I did go to see this at Sundance the week it premiered, and for whatever reason, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I only really caught about twenty minutes of it. Watching it now with more time and a little less weary than I usually am towards the end of Sundance, I was able to appreciate Monster more for what it is. On the surface, it’s just about Steve’s case and how what really happened unfolds before our eyes and we learn more about those around Steve and how their influence may have pulled a smart and studious young man into the criminal world that now has him in prison with much more violent life-long criminals.

We already knew that Harrison was a great actor, but Monster shows us that he was already on his way to greatness with this movie that for whatever reason got buried even as it dealt with issues that have been in the headlines almost every day since this debuted.

Mandler takes an interesting approach, both non-linear and also with blatant nods to Kurosawa’s Rashomon, which is even cited by Steve’s teacher, played by Tim Blake Nelson. Jeffrey Wright and Jennifer Hudson are decent as Steve’s parents, but they’re generally smaller and non-showy roles compared to the moments between Harrison and Ehle. Much of the film takes place in the courtroom with flashbacks showing what happened through the viewpoint of whomever is on the stand, which eventually includes Steve himself.

The way Mandler handles the material may lean more on the artiness rather than something more mainstream -- Michael B. Jordan’s Just Mercy comes to mind -- but it’s just as powerful in showing how someone like Steve can be othered by society into being a criminal. Sure, there have been other handlings of this sort of material that I thought were better films, but if you know anyone who has ever had dealings with the “justice” system and know how unfair and horrible it can be even to the innocent, then Monster will certainly strike a chord.

Also hitting Netflix this week is the new series based on Mark Millar and Frank Quitely‘s comic books, JUPITER’S LEGACY (Netflix), another kind of twist on the superhero genre ala Amazon Prime Video’s series based on Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson’s The Boys. I love the comics, and I can’t wait to finally get around to seeing Netflix’s first adaptation of a Millarworld property.

David Oyelowo makes his directorial debut with THE WATER MAN (RLJEfilms), a movie about a young boy named Gunner Boon (Lonnie Chavis), whose mother (Rosario Dawson) is battling leukemia. In an effort to cure her, Guner goes off on a journey along with a teenage girl named Jo (Amiah Miller) to find the mythical Water Man, who can provide them with a magic token that might save Gunner’s mother’s life.

I’ve interviewed Oyelowo a few times before, and I really like him a lot, so I had really high hopes for him as a director since I feel he’s just a terrific actor. Unfortunately, the material here is just not strong enough that I think even a far more experienced filmmaker could make something out of it.

Set in PIne Hills, we meet Gunner, a bright kid who loves drawing comic books, but he has trouble connecting with his father (Oyelowo), so when he has an idea that might help his sick mother, he goes off with a head-strong teen named Jo, in search of the Water Man, a summertime adventure permeated by a lot of very bad low-budget visual effects.

Honestly, I’m not even sure where to begin with where The Water Man falters, because Oyelowo has such a great cast, including Alfred Molina and Maria Bello in tiny parts. The story is a problem, as is the writing, which is just so bland and dull, that there’s really nothing in Oyelowo’s direction or any of the performances that really can salvage it. Neither of the child actors have much charisma or personality, and even Dawson’s performance, which would normally be a showstopper is repeatedly lessened by the constant cutting back to the kids. (And as someone who beat leukemia myself, I’m never a fan when cancer is depicted in movies as a death sentence rather than just another hurdle in life that needs to be overcome.)

Oyelowo himself may be one of his generation’s best actors, but he brings so little to the role of Gunner’s father, maybe to not take away from his younger star, but it hurts that he doesn’t do more to create a stronger conflict by making the character more horrible to drive Gunner away. The actual Water Man doesn’t improve things when he finally shows up, essentially talking like a pirate but not even remotely paying off.

Honestly, The Water Man seems like such a misguided venture -- Exec. Produced by Oprah, no less -- and it might have been totally forgettable if the characters didn’t keep saying the title of the movie every five minutes.

Hitting theaters Friday after a festival run is Tran Quoc Bao’s action-comedy THE PAPER TIGERS (WELL GO USA), starring ALain Uy, Ron Yuan and Mikel Shannon Jenkins as martial artists once known as “the three tigers but now middle-aged men must set aside old grudges and dad duties to avenge the murder of their teacher. I’ve had a screener of this since last summer when it played at Fantasia Festival in Montreal, and I just never got around to watching it, but if I’m able to squeeze it in before the weekend, check back here for my review.

Streaming on Shudder this Friday is Ryan Kruger's South African comedy-thriller FRIED BARRY (Shudder), starring Gary Green as Barry, a violent street junkie who is abducted by aliens who take over his body in order to… well, actually… they do a lot of drugs, have a lot of sex and other craziness. It’s a pretty strange and bizarre movie that reminds me a little of movies like a lower-fi Under the Skin or Beyond the Black Rainbow, and much of it is driven by the insane and unique performance by Green and the odd characters he encounters that I think will find its fans for sure, but it will definitely be for a very select audience of genre festival fans, as this is by no means a mainstream genre film.

Speaking of which, another movie out this week which I wasn’t allowed to see in advance is Gia Coppola’s MAINSTREAM (IFC Films), starring Maya Hawke as a young woman seeking internet stardom by making YouTube videos with a charismatic stranger, played by Andrew Garfield, until “the dark side of viral celebrity threatens to ruin them both.” Yup, it’s one of THOSE movies. It also stars Nat Wolff, Jason Schwartzman and Johnny Knoxville, but I haven’t heard anything good about it, and I’m not sure my curiosity is piqued enough to spend any of my own personal money to check it out.

Hitting Amazon on Friday is the doc THE BOY FROM MEDELLIN (Amazon) from Matthew Heineman (City of Ghosts, Cartel Land), a portrait of musical superstar J. Balvin, as he prepares for a massive sold-out stadium show in his hometown of Medellin, Colombia, which is hindered by the growing civil unrest in the area.

Lots of other movies this week, but a few that i just wasn’t able to get to this week, including:

ABOVE SUSPICION (Lionsgate) INITIATION (Saban Films) ENFANT TERRIBLE (Dark Star Pictures) QUEEN MARIE (Samuel Goldwyn Films) SILO (Oscilloscope) CITIZEN PENN (Discovery+)

That’s it for this week. Next week, Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson star in SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW (Lionsgate) and Angelina Jolie returns for the thriller THOSE WHO WISH ME DEAD (New Line) and Timur Bekmambetov’s thriller, PROFILE (Focus Features). That’s right. This will be the first weekend in over a year where we’ll have three or maybe even four new wide releases.

#TheWeekendWarrior #Movies #Reviews #WrathOfMan #HereToday #Monster #The Unthinkable #TheWaterMan

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prudnces · 4 years ago

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( 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒 & 𝚌𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 ) + you know 𝘗𝘙𝘜𝘋𝘌𝘕𝘊𝘌 𝘝𝘈𝘕 𝘏𝘖𝘓𝘛, the 25 year-old 𝘗𝘙𝘐𝘝𝘈𝘛𝘌 𝘐𝘕𝘝𝘌𝘚𝘛𝘐𝘎𝘈𝘛𝘖𝘙 that has lived in eldstead 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕 𝘠𝘌𝘈𝘙𝘚? i heard she has a tendency to be 𝘙𝘌𝘚𝘖𝘜𝘙𝘊𝘌𝘍𝘜𝘓, 𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘈𝘓, 𝘋𝘐𝘚𝘖𝘉𝘌𝘋𝘐𝘌𝘕𝘛 & 𝘚𝘜𝘙𝘓𝘠. the 𝘛𝘈𝘜𝘙𝘜𝘚 has equipped 𝘒𝘌𝘠 in time for the full moon.

HI i’m hero, 22, i lov horror movies and no longer have a shudder subscription :pensive: normally i do these on google docs but i’m lazy and prue is Incredibly New so i’m still trying to get the hang of things

name: prudence van holt nicknames: prue, p age: 25 gender: cis woman pronouns: she/her d.o.b.: april 23, 1995 zodiac: taurus sexual orientation: homosexual homoromantic mbti: isfj - the protector character inspo: wynonna earp, veronica mars, prudence halliwell (mayb i took the name don’t look @ me) aesthetics: a steaming mug of black coffee, deep green woollen sweaters, golden rings and necklaces adorning her, a camera hanging around her neck, the mist of the morning, a deer grazing in the forest, the heavy thud of boots against old hardwood, a grandfather clock striking the witching hour

HISTORY

triggers: child abandonment, car accident (drunk driving), death

prudence van holt’s birth is a mystery-- all she knows is she was dropped off at the fire station in a town outside of seattle, the only identification a baby blanket with her name on it.

she ends up being adopted by a couple, the van holts, who always wanted multiple kids but could not after their first, a boy.

growing up, she’s always been a little shit. she doesn’t mean to be. she just has an insatiable curiosity, sticking her nose in other’s businesses, finding lost things, she had a strange knack for it. it got her into a lot of trouble, children had no business sticking their nose into adults’ things.

her brother never really liked her-- he always resented the fact their parents brought her home, took her in, when they already had a perfectly fine child needing attention. petty things, except it’s sparked a life long sibling rivalry that runs deep.

it’s a pretty uneventful childhood, her parents are good people, they provide for her, and support her, despite her troublesome antics.

she’s always been a lonely child, she’s never had the easiest time making friends, so she’s spent a lot of her time exploring the woods near her home.

she’s thirteen when she discovers her mother, whom she always has written off as simply eccentric, is more than that-- she’s a witch. and a good one, too. her book club meetings she’s often privvy to walking through is more than that, it’s her coven.

so of course, prue wants in-- how can she not? it’s a whole new world, working under her mother’s wing, driving a wedge further between herself and her brother. she tells her to be careful, to watch her back, that there’s bad people who want to do bad things with the power they wield. it instills a deeper ideal of trust no one in prudence-- one that sticks with her to this day.

and she’s dedicated to the craft! she takes time to learn the different meanings and uses of herbs, flowers, etc., makes potions, cast spells-- perhaps sometimes for personal gain, but she’s dedicated herself to using them to help others.

she sort of becomes a private investigator in high school, not on purpose, but a friend tasks her to find out if her boyfriend is cheating on her, so tails him, catches him in the act-- gives him a little hex for good measure.

it becomes a thing, people need something found? they go to her. think their partner is fooling around? they go to her. and she delivers, all with a little touch of magic. eventually, she wants to go deeper, take on more serious cases, but alas she’s only a teenager.

sike! that doesn’t stop her. and as much as she hates cops, she has an in at the department through her father, so soon she’s not so legally trying to solve murders.

and that’s all fine and dandy, until just a month shy of her eighteenth birthday, and two months before she graduates from high school, her parents get into a car accident coming home from a meeting one night. a drunk driver swerves into their side of the road, hitting them head on. neither survive.

it’s that that has her change her mind about college, why go to college when she already knows what she wants to do? life is fleeting, and she’s hurting, so she graduates, and moves to eldstead, a town an hour and half away from her own home. it’s not a big change, but enough for her to have a fresh start.

she knows something is different about the storm when it hits, that it brought about something... destructive. and she’s inclined to get to the bottom of all of it. it’s in her nature-- she has to snoop.

she runs her own private investigation that used to serve eldstead and the surrounding area, but now it’s simply eldstead. she makes her own hours, and works alone, because she prefers it that way.

PERSONALITY

she’s really closed off-- she prefers to be alone, because of the shit she’s seen, and the people in her life, she just expects to be let down.

when you first meet her, there’s a chance she’s just going to brush you off. she’s not exactly the friendliest person out there?

will she be an asshole for the sake of being an asshole? no. absolutely not. but she is unflinchingly honest about her observations, and that doesn’t always go over well.

very much a ‘do the thing first, ask for forgiveness later type of person’-- doesn’t have a lot of regard for rules that aren’t her own. (*dw voice* that sign can’t stop me bc i can’t read!)

if u do manage to be friends with her, she’s got ur mf back she’s unflinchingly loyal and if you break her trust, you’re pretty much dead to her lol

TIDBITS

she has a black cat (wow a witch with a black cat...... groundbreaking) named inkblot (creative, rly), nicknamed inky like the pacman ghost

surprisingly high alcohol tolerance, loves 2 go for a beer or a whiskey at the end of a long day

lives in cableknit sweaters-- this is the pnw i mean a bitch be cold

doesn’t really date? she came out when she was 16, and there’s been a couple relationships, but they never really pan out-- it’s always because of her. she doesn’t know how to open up

swears a lot

has a pretty good understanding of basic hand to hand combat just in case perps get a little rowdy, took boxing classes for abt 4 years?

probably an elderly person when it comes to social media, kinda likes to keep a low profile but she also posts a shit ton of pictures of her cat

INCREDIBLY good at finding lost things-- keys, phones, dogs, u name it she just knows-- and she doesnt know if its the intuition that comes from being a witch or just herself

prob should join a coven, but shes a lone wolf awoo

prob barks at men idk

lives off of black coffee, doesn’t rly sleep

has multiple ear piercings and a couple tattoos but she usually keeps them hidden

WANTED CONNECTIONS

informant - she gets information from them for her cases, they got a p good grasp

someone she’s solved a case for - p self explanatory, now they’re friendly enough, or perhaps she couldn’t stand them and did it for the money

someone who wants to be her friend but she’s weary - tbh shes weary of everybody

coven adjacent - another witch, maybe theyre trying to get her to band together with them

drinking buddy - they meet at the bar and shoot the shit

opposites attract - friend who is nothing like them! but still hangs around!

someone she feels like she has 2 protect - for whatever reason, even tho they can prob take care of themselves, prue is super fkn protective of them

a genuine friend - yeah she just needs one idk she’s doing her best

ex (f/nb) - someone she dated for a little bit but they broke up because of prue’s inability to open tf up

fwb (f/nb) - ? maybe we all got needs, and she’s not looking for a relationship

attraction (f/nb) - there’s tension and neither know why!

rival - to paraphrase a tumblr post what is a rival if not a crush you’re unhappy abt

pure of heart, dumb of ass and lesbian - i just love this trope

sibling like - someone who she genuinely sees as a younger/older sibling... goes to them for shit... protects them

frenemies - theyre not rly friends but they dont entirely hate each other either?

tbh anything

#this got long! and for what!#intro.#eldintro #abandonment tw #car accident tw #drunk driving tw #death tw

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pkmnsdarkqueen · 4 years ago

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Some Random mun facts

-Music: When it comes to music I pretty much listen to like everything except rap. I dont know why I don't enjoy most rap it just doesn't hit for me. Which is a bold statement when in my car the Spotify will go to some cutesy Lenka song, hard core scremo, and end on VeggieTales. Look sometimes I want pastel angst with a side of a manatee's love problems. That and my ADD is happy.

-Driving: So I swear I'm a safe driver, and like yeah everyone says that about themselves, but I've been driving for a few years now with 2 wrecks both being other people's fault with them crashing me. Here's the thing about it I took this driving course where we learned how to do all these extreme things in cars to keep ourselves safe like throwing the back/front wheels out of control to regain control, the fastest turns you can believe, and all that. So I can pull this stuff out to minimize damage if I realize the person messed up so bad I can't avoid a wreck, or pull something to completely evade a wreck happening. It's great, and people love driving with me cause they know they'll be safe. They also know that if shiz hits the fan the ride is about to get roller coaster like.

-Bananas: I just can't. I physically can't handle eating bananas. That sounds like weird phrasing, but I'm incredibly serious. I've been this way ever since I was a kid, bananas just kick in my gag reflex immediately and I can't control it. One time in Mexico on this mission trip I got a Charlie Horse right, muscles get knotted up, and I knew it was cause I needed potassium. So the folks running the mission we were at over heard me, and kindly brought me 2 bananas. And like they don't have many fresh things so this was incredibly generous, and I felt awful thinking I'd look like some snooty white foreign girl if I said no so I started trying to eat them. I was trying to hard to keep it in, and hide it but we were at the breakfast table and one of the residents finally stopped me while I was half way done with the first one and was like,"You look green. Like genuinely green, and miserable. What is happening?" Which at this point I had been gagging like wild but hiding it, my stomach was feeling like death, and I was sweating suddenly like crazy so I finally told them qnd apologized because I knew they were trying to be kind. Thankfully they understood, and were really kind suggesting a brand of vitamins so I could go get some with potsassium. But yeah I just literally physically cant handle bananas only able eat about half of one when I am desperate for calcuim

-Wasps: Weirdly I've gotten really coll with wasps and yellow jackets this like past year. At the summer camp I worked at they were in our editing room alot so I just got used to them. Like to the point they'd rest on my arm while I worked. I named em too, R.I.P Bartholemew whom I had to mercy kill after he was smacked to the ground by a co-worker. Now we have a wasp nest outside our garage and like our family is just chilling with them just letting them take whatever bugs they want from our yard.

-New York: So there's a whole story here I'll probably post for another Munday, but I'll keep it short for here. I kinda did some pokemon art for a guy around the time Prom was happening, and he just invited me to his prom in New York. I'm in Texas. Like wild but he was serious, his parents agreed offeri g to pay for everything and one of my parents to go with me. We like ran a bunch of checks on the guy, he came down with his gam to meet in person, and like long story short I went to Prom in New York with someone who paid for everything, and agreed to go as friends only. Did I realize I was like a 'trophy chick' or 'paid friend' yes, but like worth it. Now that guy was respectful to me the whole time, which I appreciate, and didn't push anything. He had some things to work out in himself for sure which is why we didn't keep up, bullying trauma from what I can gather, but yeah it was a wild experience and further evidence to support when I say,"My life operates like a sit com."

-Naming inanimate objects: My sister and I both do this alot. Like almost everything gets a name. When we were kids the logs you can run across at this Waterpark had names, all of our stuffed animals have names, trees and plants that are special get names. Like it's just a thing we do, so yes all my knives and swords I have also get names. Just everything has names with us.

-Firework pops: So you know those little packets filled with gunpowder than sound like a gjn going off when you throw them on the ground? Yea well I had some of those as a kid. I also didn't know what PTSD was as a kid or that my dad had it due to some work with Uncle Sam. On April fools I had the smart idea to tape them to the bottom of the toilet seat so when someone sat on it they'd go off. It worked. On my dad. At 2 am at night. He laughs about it now but I still awful for how badly he was shaken up from it waking my mom up in a panic. Yeah not my finest moment as a kid.

-Wiggles: So my spine is weirdly sensitive. If something or someone touches it when I'm not expecting it I get like shakes and start twitching in my neck sometimes so bad like various muscles on my body start twitching out as well. My range of control varies wildly with like no real correlation. Sometimes it's a small shiver which lasts a second and I can roll with it unnoticed. Other times every part of my upper body rolls over in goose bumps, my arm hair is on end, my neck is spazzeming to the side as my head shakes, my shoulders and such is convulsing, and my arms are locking up as it feel like I'm contorting around my spine for like 10 seconds needing another 20 seconds to shake off residual affects. Also ability to talk during this ranges too depending on if I can get my jaw to cooperate. I have no idea why this happens, no one ever seems to get it either, I can't make it happen on command so I can't show anyone, and everytime I get short hair I have to adjust to feeling my hair dust across the back of my neck putting up with like a week of solid wiggles multiple times a day. It's not a common occurrence usually dependent on if what I'm wearing rubs certain points on my spine, but it's just a tick I have.

#munday #(just things mun has)#(alsk if anyone else wants to comment feel free to)#(especially if you get wiggles too cause no one else seems to of ever heard or seen it.)

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sammysreelreviews · 5 years ago

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Ranking Hulu’s ‘Into the Dark’ Series

Hulu made every horror fans dream come true by making Into the Dark. Every month they gave us a Blumhouse produced episode that was based off a holiday from that month! To be honest I reallynenjoyed all of them cause I love seeing fresh original ideas! I have been watching and ranking these and here it finally is! This post will have ***SPOILERS!!!*** and if you loved this season don’t worry, Hulu just ordered a second one! Enjoy!

12. The Body (Halloween)

The Body is funny at points but honestly it’s not good. Seeing as the theme was Halloween I just expected a lot fucking more! The concept of someone with a literal dead body acting like its part of a costume is smart but it just wasn’t executed well.

Director: Paul Davis

Writer: Paul Fisher & Paul Davis

11. Treehouse (International Women’s Day)

Treehouse was interesting but I don’t know something about it just wasn’t good. I mean I’m all for women getting much needed revenge but at points the film lagged a bit but I really did enjoy the cast in this one!

Director: James Roday

Writers: James Roday & Todd Harthan

10. They Come Knocking (Father’s Day)

Okay this one genuinely kind of scared me cause I had no idea what the fuck was going on but the mom coming back was um, TERRIFYING. Also like I wish Claire (Josephine Langford) was nicer to her little sister like stop being a bitch she’s GRIEVING.

Director: Adam Mason

Writers: Shane Van Dyke & Carey Van Dyke

9. I’m Just F*cking With You (April Fools Day)

I liked this one because you never knew what the fuck was going on or what was gonna happen next but it’s also the reason I ranked it low. There was no rhyme or reason to it and I didn’t really like the ending I felt so bad! But, sometimes things don’t need to make sense to make it thrilling and that’s exactly what this episode’s about.

Director: Adam Mason

Writers: Gregg Zehentner & Scott Barkan

8. School Spirit (First Day of School)

I’m a sucker for a school themed horror film and this little horrific breakfast club was a pleasant entry into the series. It was pretty obvious who the killer was and the story was cliche but the end is what kinda shocked me. Even though she went through complete hell, a boy should know not to get in the way of a girl trying to go Ivy! Also a great performance by Girl Meets World alum Corey Fogelmanis!

Director: Mike Gan

Writers: Patrick Casey, Josh Miller, and Mike Gan

7. Pure (Daughter’s Day)

This episode was so fucked up but necessary! The fathers having that much control over their daughters is just so creepy and disgusting. I really wish this movie was more supernatural but I liked the message. Scott Porter was actually incredible as Pastor Seth and he made the episode. No one should be in charge of women’s bodies except women! Period!

Director: Hannah Macpherson

Story by: Paul Fischer and Paul Davis

Writer: Hanna Macpherson

6. Culture Shock (Independence Day)

Culture Shock is my middle point like I didn’t dislike it but there’s a lot I did like. I hate Trump more than anything so I fucking absolutely hate that there are innocent people just withering away at the border. This film was good cause it showed how hard it is to get here and to fully live the American Dream even if that dream ends up being a nightmare. Also the concept of this episode sounds exactly like something Trump would do. I don’t blame Marisol for going back to Mexico, yeesh.

Director: Gigi Saul Guerrero

Writers: Efren Herenandez, Gigi Saul Guerrero, and James Benson

5. Pooka (Christmas)

Ok now these nest episodes were my favorite of the bunch and I know people are gonna be mad that I put Pooka so low but this is MY list okurrr!? Pooka reminded me so much of a Black Mirror episode. I liked how it didn’t spell anything out and left you with your imagination to figure out what the fuck just happened. Also why were those people buying that stuffed animal for their kids like it LOOKS and sounds creepy as fuck!

Director: Nacho Vigalondo

Writers: Gerald Olson

4. All That We Destroy (Mother’s Day)

A mother would do anything for their child especially their son and that’s more than true in this episode. I really loved this one because I thought it was such an original concept. It also really brings up the whole nature verse nurture debate. The cloning the girl to see what would happen was just so cool to me. The end had me wondering though was he the one buried in the backyard and the mom used his DNA to clone him when he was younger? I thought the cast was great but I’m also bias because I love Israel Broussard who’s also in Blumhouse’s Happy Death Day franchise which is lowkey my favorite horror franchise.

Director: Chelsea Stardust

Writers: Sean Keller & Jim Agnew

3. Flesh & Blood (Thanksgiving)

Honestly in this episode I felt so bad for Kimberly (Diana Silvers) like imagine being terrified of going outside and then you realize your fucking dad is a psychopath!? This episode really could’ve been a full length movies and the acting was just absolutely phenomenal.

Director: Patrick Lussier

Writer: Louis Ackerman

2. New Year, New You (New Year)

New Year, New You was the episode that got me into the show in the first place. I love Suki Waterhouse so I was eager to watch this! I genuinely did not think they invited Danielle (Carly Chaikin) over to terrorize her but they really were tryna tell home girl how much she fucking sucked! I loved loved loved the end of this movie and how Alexis (Suki Waterhouse) turned it around and made a profit off of the tragedy. You go girl!

Director: Sophia Takal

Story by: Sophia Takal & Adam Gaines

Writer: Adam Gaines

1. Down (Valentine’s Day)

Down is the best episode because the entire time you’re just captivated. I liked this message cause women can do nothing and guys feel they have the right to be with them. The way he stalked her and then thought she owed him something boiled my blood! Thankfully Jennifer (Natalie Martinez) was smarter than John (Matt Lauria) and got amazing final girl revenge. My only thing is, did he have to kill his friend and his girlfriend?!

Director: Daniel Stamm

Writer: Kent Kubena

#happy death day #TATBILB #to all the boys i've loved before #into the dark #into the dark hulu #suki waterhouse #blumhouse #blumhouse productions #happy death day 2u #israel broussard #hulu recommendations

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hellyeahheroes · 6 years ago

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The Post-Mortem for the New Age of Heroes

At the beginning of this year, I had prepared my totally original idea for April Fools 2019. I wanted to film myself in Jim Sterling cosplay performing a Jimquisition parody. Instead, I managed to somehow break my only shitty mic and gave youtubing a pause for time being. So you will have to enjoy what was supposed to be a recording in written text in form. At the end of the text I will do a face reveal, I owe you that.

It has become undeniable by now that the New Age of Heroes was a financial failure. Out of eight new titles that have launched only two are still going. And out of these two, one is already dead, like a guy slapped by Kenshiro of cancellations. And from its fall we can see an image of failures and poorly thought decisions at the editorial level.

Spinning out of incredibly popular, both among fans and critics alike, Dark Nights: Metal, New Age of Heroes was originally named the Dark Matter. It was supposed to form a thematic trilogy with Metal and it’s own prelude. Dark Days lead to Dark Nights, which gives birth to Dark Matter. Simple and catchy, an okay marketing strategy. However, the name was hastily changed at the last minute to a much more generic New Age of Heroes. And to my knowledge, we never really got an answer as to why, leaving us only with speculations. My theory, and this is only a theory, of course, is that someone at the higher level either felt that Dark Matter was not grandiose enough or that the audiences are just too stupid to get it.

The imprint was supposed to first launch at September 2017 only to have been pushed to December and then to February 2018. At the same time, we had some minor changes regarding the original promo picture showing the characters and more specific one - Damage, whose original design is nothing like the one in promotional material. All this shows there was some executive meddling in the production of the series, not unlike the one that haunted the infamous New 52.

The strong nostalgia for the 90s is another thing New Age of Heroes shared with New 52, with pretty much every title being in one way or another a throwback to the era. Just like in early Image, many of the new characters who were clearly invoking a feeling of edgier versions of classic Marvel characters. Damage is DC’s third of fourth attempt at making the Hulk since the launch of New 52, Brimstone is Ghost Rider, even Sideways looked like edgy Spider-Man, despite not being edgy at all. On the team side, the Terrifics was deliberately a homage to classic Fantastic Four and this seems to have worked in its favor. While other books had to prove they are more than just knockoffs of the competitors most famous characters, the Terrifics has been embraced as a spiritual homage by FF fandom, especially at the time when Marvel was not publishing that series. However, even other team books had to deal with Marvel comparisons. it didn’t help that Immortal Men was very intentionally playing a homage to the 90′s X-men books and that narrative style, up o shoehorning in it popular villain Batman Who laughs for no apparent reason. While I think it made the book ironically better than titles it was trying to honor, it undeniable set it up to comparisons. The Unexpected had characters who kinda reminded people of Thor and Doctor Strange leading to comparisons with both Avengers and the Defenders. Even the most original title, the Silencer and the relaunch of classic DC book Challengers of the Unknown as the New Challengers had fans attempt to claim they’re ripping off Marvel properties on some flimsy logic. Unfortunately, this all gave the line an impression of just being a Marvel knockoff and made it harder for it to stand on its own.

New Age of Heroes was supposed to have a larger emphasis on artists, putting their names before writers in the credits on the cover and in the issue itself referring to them both as storytellers. Only for that to be undermined the moment the books had mediocre sales and all famous artists who were supposed to be the main draw have been moved to more high-profile books to play second fiddle to the writers again. In the end, New Age of Heroes suffered all the problems with treating artists as secondary as rest of mainstream titles, with artists being shuffled around as it was deemed fit, often without abbility to give a book any visual coherence even in the middle of an arc.

Aside, these examples of editorial incompetence and neglect, we quickly saw two titles, New Challengers and immortal Men, end at issue six, seemingly to allow Scott Snyder and James Tynion IV to focus more on the Justice League and Batman Who Laughs. The Unexpected followed, lasting only eight issues. Curse of the Brimstone and Sideways survived twelve and thirteen issues respectively. Damage, one of the first launches of the imprint, ended at issue sixteen and Silencer will be ending at a similar number.

All of these saddens me because I quite frankly enjoyed a lot of these books. Sideways was a flawed but entertaining throwback to classic teen superhero books and had it sold better could honestly build enough momentum to rival Ms. Marvel. Curse of the Brimstone was a good horror, Immortal Men was more entertaining than it had any right to be as a 90s homage and the Silencer actually formed an engaging narrative I was not expecting at first glance. Part of me wants to blame any of the above reasons, be it Marvel comparisons or editorial incompetence. But Part of me also wonders if the whole initiative hasn’t just been poorly planned out. Maybe it was a bad idea to launch eight new titles in such a short amount of time. Maybe some of them would have worked better, were the writers put on a single book in the style of 52, with multiple writers and weekly schedule? I don’t know but it feels that it could maybe give more life to Immortal Men, New Challengers and the Unexpected. However, the fact that so many bad decisions occurred on an editorial level only shows how poorly planned the initiative was. It saddens me as I know the failure of those titles to make a lasting impact, the only book still not canceled being also the only one without all new cast of characters, will make it harder to push for more original titles in the future. And so I weep for the New Age of Heroes. It could have been great.

So that’s it for today. I’m going to crawl into a hole and ignore all the news today due to the number of pranks. Be careful with what you read online, not just today, but in today in particular, thank god for me and get ready for my face reveal!

I love April’s Fools

- Admin

#Sideways #Curse of the Brimstone #The Terrifics #Immortal Men #The Silencer #New Challengers #Damage #The Unexpected #DC #Dark Matter #New Age of DC Heroes

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