#also this is mostly to people who say theyre not homophobic but who also find this offensive

[wolfythewitch]

This was in response to an old drawing of Jesus with the pride flag. It's not like super articulate because alas the twitter character limit but ya know. I think a lot about those comments

[mithliya]

ohh mena.. have you looked through the “escaping twin flames” tag? so many TRAs rambling about how the cult is “anti-trans” even though it supports all their inherent beliefs (the cult aligns with all TRA beliefs, but TRAs don’t align with all the cult’s beliefs if that makes sense).

idk if id say the cult aligns with ALL of their beliefs bc that person in the documentary made a good point when pointing out that the TRA narrative does have a focus on "u should be free to do as u please with ur body" & the cult actively forcing u to transition does clearly go against that + the idea that theres only strictly a 'divine feminine' and 'divine masculine' doesnt align with a lot of TRAs bc that would be binarism to some of them. but a LOT of the beliefs they have in common are the more concerning toxic beliefs u can find TRA reiterating themselves & its sad instead of allowing the audience to make that connection and then realise how toxic these beliefs are and therefore alert TRAs that these are things they need to change in their movement, that instead the documentary immediately shuts down that form of self-reflection by arguing there totally is no overlap in beliefs and they are totally antithetical to each other and that this cult is even "anti-trans" (no mention of how homophobic or misogynistic it is either..)

anyways yeah ive seen some of their posts n just...

this one is a TRA praising the cult

this one seems almost aware that its actually not neutral or factual of the documentary to dismiss any links to TRA rhetoric

so glad they used a dishonest stat about how rare detransition is while actively showing a large number of people being forced to transition who therefore will likely detransition

this one

also interestingly theyre mostly calling this cult transphobic (& no mention of homophobia) when very clearly this cult is not, in fact, transphobic. in actuality theyre not making any trans people detransition, in fact theyd force women to transition to then pair them up with trans women ...... they explicitly argued the reason for this is bc there can only be a divine feminine and divine masculine in a pairing & argued 2 masculine men having sex is "just shaking hands" & can't possibly have a deeper romantic connection. they also outright said "homosexuality does not exist". but okay apparently thats transphobic fdhsf

[oh-cawsh]

9 people to get to know better

thanks for tagging me @ghostradiodylan !!

1. Three ships: Rylan my beloved they do no wrong. theyre the epitome of awkward bashful and honest gay summer teen romance with the perfect contrasting note of horrific life threatening monsters which is unsurpassable genre peak. and yeah ngl its pretty rare that i get behind a ship but two others i can think of are amity/luz from the owl house (but mostly in season 1 because they do cute anxious crushing stuff and after that they just kind of turn into supportive gf A and supportive gf B), and legosi/louis from beastars because how do you just gloss over neurotic homophobe slut ptsd theatre twink x weird brooding puritan loser freudian pervert and the fact that it does WORK too like hello

2. First ever ship: i wanna say gregg and angus from night in the woods?? i remember i was in that weird sexual orientation puberty where you literally know you're gay but it's not like a consciously meaningful part of your identity so i remember seeing them and thinking wow that's cool that they're boyfriends i guess idk. also i'm inexorably drawn to their existence for some reason and my lockscreen is them cuddling with the lazy morning light peeking through the curtains

3. Last song: My Kink is Karma - Chappell Roan, im a sucker for moody electronic pop and that album DELIVERS

4. Last film: i watched the first three movies in a pirates of the caribbean marathon with some friends which ngl after the first one feels like trying to suck sugar water out of a sock 😶 the last film i personally chose to watch was the 1976 Carrie! it was nice being able to watch it and appreciate it as an adult with an education and not a teen recluse going "yeah carrie you show those villain highschoolers what's what"

5. Currently (re)reading: Shakespeare's Twelfth Night! i have my old copy from highschool open next to me and the 2012 shakespeare's globe production up and i just sit and sift between watching and reading and analysing it, just like when i first learned it in class. i'm not really sure why i wanted to reread it again in the first place, but i find it kind of soothing to read older texts where the language and culture's a little ways off from its modern successors. i find it calming to kind of pull those stories back in a way we can understand with its old contexts and writing, and see more and more of that timeless human experience shine through. sudoku for english nerds i guess LOL

6. Currently watching: my watcher's stamina has actually gotten so shit im ngl like i actually haven't watched a show in months 😭😭😭 the last show i watched was bluey (which was pretty good! (and pretty indicative of the kind of attention span ive got these days 😂👌))

7. Currently consuming: this horrible like nutraloaf nightmare bowl i made because my appetite was really poor today and at 5 pm or so i was like ugh well id better eat something quick and dense if im not gonna have a proper meal so i insulted God and put together reheated smashed potato (in the microwave so they lost all their crunch and flavour) + dried roasted edamame beans + peanut butter + regular butter + cheddar + yoghurt + whole salted almonds in a bowl and had a slice of walnut fig cake as a side. that thing needed a censor bar like i was in the trenches trying to get that down im ngl. eating that meal took more energy out of me than what it gave back like i knew i made something unholy and then immediately paid for it like it was so frankenstein and his monster right there on that kitchen counter

8. Currently craving: literally anything after that like god damn 😭😭😭😭😭 otherwise ive been hankering for a good chana masala and naan combo cus there's literally never a day where i'll turn south asian cuisine down like aw man i shouldve just gone out and got some of that to eat today ugh god damn it

also im ngl i don't really know who to tag cus i only started having a presence on tumblr like barely a month ago and ive only meaningfully interacted with like 3 people since then so um!! whoever's out there lurking around on my blog if ya wanna participate feel free! and either way, thanks for readin my ramblings regardless :)

[nervousbreadpuppy]

homestuck ships i really like (because you can only be hater for so long)

dirkjake (they divorce for fun and then show up at each others doors five minutes later and start crying because they missed each other. on the inside. they'd never reveal their true emotions to each other. go to therapy)

vrisrezi (two girls in middle school who arent going to realize theyre gay for another 3 years yet still somehow have a weird gay thing going on. this begins the most toxic codependent friendship of their life and they will remember it for years to come. maybe one day they'll kiss and finally get closure. maybe.)

erigam (the worst people you meet (but in opposite directions) get slightly less worse when they're with each other. mostly because they keep distracting each other with poetic overdramatic rambling and kickin the wicked elixir. this is the only reason there have been no deaths in their presence)

erigamtav (the above but tavros is there. this does not improve things in the slightest. in fact, he makes them worse. )

calliroxyjane (is that even the ship name? anyways three girls who have always sort of had crushes on each other for years but never quite had the chance to confess. and/or three girlbosses who are also antisocial shut-ins learn how to be human beings from their gilfriends who have also never been outside)

gamkar (sigh. fine. whatever. mostly on the list because these are the only fics i can find with good gamzee hurt comfort so i must learn to tolerate it. they'd be better together if they didnt cross the assholery event horizon)

gamrezi (look. their relationship was shitty in canon, yes. but consider. canon divergence. weirdo who eats chalk meets weirdo who eats slime. and then they make out about it. hussie was a coward and gamrezi would be a power couple if act 6 didn't happen. fuck act 6.)

gamtav (can be boring but can also be fun. the only two trolls who could not give a shit about the violence of alternia spend all their time together coming up with the worst raps ever and then make out about it. it has so much potential)

rosemary (girlfail lesbians who everyone thinks is way more competent than they actually are. rose canonically fell down the stairs during their first date. everyone forgets about this. they shouldn't)

fefnep (fishgirl 4 catgirl. i think they would vent about their moirails to each other and also draw their fursonas together)

dirkuu (homophobic gay people. need i say more)

anyways theres probably more but im ending this here because its getting long

[dizzybevvie]

Politely asks if you have any OCs, and if you want to show off their designs or ramble about them if so?

Hello anon i am about to present to you some of the most boring motherfuckers youve ever laid your eyes on.

OK SO.

In late january 2 years ago, me and my good friend Raya (@ randomstuffifindinteresting) were makin stupid unfunny jokes about the stereotype of the hypermasculine homophobic dudes with so much internalised homophobia. Thus, Chad, Brad and Jake were born.

I dont draw them seriously very often, its mostly meme redraws, but theyre very basic looking people and dont have a hell of a lot going on with their outfits anyway. you can see a majority of the memes and stuff at (@oh-em-gee-oh-sees) but theyre a little old.

[Chad, Brad, Jake(theres no yellow); and their good friends Vivere and Mori]

So Brad is kind of the favourite because both me and Raya want to smooch him LMAO. Hes 6'1, a lil chubby, got big ol tits and one of them big ol curved noses. Personality wise, he's more reserved than anyone else in the group and likes to listen more than he likes to contribute. He doesn't feel like he has many hobbies or interests because he just moves through life. He likes to be an observer. He is BIG into music though. I guess you could say its his special interest, but he certainly doesn't know that. He particularly likes women's pop music kind of as a comfort thing? Growing up, it was just him and his mom so he finds it calming. He doesn't bring it up very often though. Whenever he's zoned out at the kitchen counters you can imagine he's thinking about it. He also likes baking, but he doesnt do it enough to consider it a hobby.He's also pretty sensitive but struggles to be emotionally available. His love language is acts of service and quality time. He's for sure autistic but I dont know if he knows that lmao. He likes bracelets, especially beaded ones with coloured string inbetween because he likes to pick at them during the day. He has some weird aunts and uncles that pop up time to time, usually with no idea that he cut off the rest of his family for reasons I won't get into. They're all eccentric, but they're all very sweet.

Chad is Brad's husband and possibly the only functioning member of the group. Hes the only one who can carry a conversation outside of them, be it a starbucks employee or their upstairs neighbours. But hes also fuckin angry all of the time. It doesnt take a lot of teasing to piss him off and when he does he gets this very slight southern accent on some of his words, which only insights more teasing. Mostly from Jake. He fucking HATES Jake (affectionate). He is actively working on it though, and he has gotten a better at controlling it. He's banned from the kitchen and has been since about a month after the three dudes moved into their apartment. Safe to say, Brad does most of the cooking. Chad's definitely the strongest of the group, which is absolutely definitely not overcompensation for his height and how inferior it makes him feel. Like, realistically he knows its stupid to be that hung up on it, and no one actually cares, but his parents were VERY strong on gender roles and it stuck with him. If his dad, who would take him outside to chop wood and thats it found out he grew up to be 5'4? Chad doesn't like to think about it. His parents do know though. They're the only ones in contact with any of them, and noone is thrilled about it. Every six months or so, they'll travel up north to see their son and ask him all the typical questions. Do you have a girlfriend, whenre you getting married, etc. Not out of ignorance either, they know he's married and they often do it while his husband is in the room. His dad will often make snide remarks about his physicality disguised as jokes, too. And although Chad gets furious at them every single time, he's the best at not blowing up when its them. He'll squeeze Brad's hand whenever something happens, but thats about it. Until they leave and he has to lay down from how exhausted he is. He only lets them stay because a part of him wants to believe they'll accept him. And they dont even know about Jake. He goes to stay at the girl's apartment while theyre over. Chad's discomfort in femininity certainly doesn't last long, though, because he's the type of person who runs STRAIGHT at what he's afraid of swinging wildly. He started wearing dresses and such, and a few weeks later started doing small-scale performances in restaurants and local theaters, for which Vivere was the ultimate hypeman. He probably wouldn't wear a dress without an occasion, but hes comfortable enough to do so now.

Jake is a fucking. loudmouth. Everythings a game to him. He likes to poke at people (metaphorically and literally) to see where the limit is. Whats frustrating too is that hes good at it. He's good at finding where the limits are, what not to say, what exactly to say thatll push your buttons but not in a way thatll actually upset you. He likes to be annoying as possible. This goes hand in hand with his avid use of sex jokes. All the time. He's a big fan of the kind of comedy where you take a joke thst isnt funny to begin with, and then run it into the ground until its dead and gone. He especially likes to tease Chad because hes the most reactive,and he finds the southern accent fucking hilarious. He's your typical blonde-guy-with-mullet - He likes to drink energy drinks until his chest hurts. He vapes, which everyone else hates (except Brad, who only really has an opinion on it because Chad does). He won't say anything about it until it becomes to much for him and he breaks down, but its partially self sabotage. As is his hypersexuality. He has a weird relationship with sex in that being hypersexual is freeing from his hyperreligious upbringing, but he also uses it as a way to hurt himself. Mentally he's definitely the worse off. He's the smartest too, but chooses not to use it. He slips in and out of polyamory with Brad and Chad - they consider themselves 'dating' but it wont ever go further then that and hes free to do whatever outside of that. Its very casual, and Jake has an intense fear of commitment. Its kind of just him appearing at their door at night and asking if he can sleep in their bed that night. He's a LOT worse than he lets on. He does have anxiety which mostly manifests as him picking at his fingers until they bleed. He'll occasionally have panic attacks and the like, for which he has a psychiatric service dog that Ive only done an hour or so's research on so Ill do that soon. His name is still undecided because he had an original name that was stupid, but now hes a service dog and not just a pet i wanna change it, lmao. Despite all of the redirection and unhealthy coping mechanisms, Jake is a very loving person and his friends love him too <3! He and Brad have been best friends since year 4/3rd grade. They met because Brad was drawing and Jake came over and was like "wow youre good at drawing. can you do the keep out signs for my secret hideout?" and then Brad followed him around like he'd been adopted by an extrovert. They met chad in school about 4 or 5 yearz after they became friends.

Vivere is our resident person who could for sure intervene and fix thing but instead is going to watch it burn down. I wouldn't say shes lazy, she's more just someone who wants entertainment, and shes found an easy source. She can be pretty genuine, but she's always lighthearted. She's on the ace spectrum, but couldn't tell you where. She and Jake are best friends. Shes the bright ideas, hes the execution. They remind me of Team Rocket LMAO. She is an avid cheater of games. She has never not cheated at a board or card game. She brags about cheating but she has a poker face of steel. She'll make monopoly trades with Jake in order to fuck over the other players. Its easy to spot when Jake's cheating because he cant stop grinning, so Viv likes to set him up and encourage it to take the attention off of her ploys. Other than that, she's really into reading. Shes partial to horror, but she'll read just about anything. She also loves animals, But not the typically cutesy ones. She likes reptiles and bugs most. She and Mori have a gecko called Egg and if anything happens to him she'll run away forever /j. She also loves looking into pseudoscience, because she finds it interesting whether or not she believes in them. She is a strong believer in the principles of yes-and and will commit to a bit even if it kils her. She's here for a good time, not a long time.

Mori is tied favourite with Brad, for sure. She's 6'4 and always smiling - not a big one, but its always there. Like what can i say? she loves her friends. She likes kind of old-timey things. She has a pocket watch that never gets used but is there, on of those dial up telephones, etc. She loves collecting too, so she has an EXTENSIVE record collection that she considers her life's work at 22. She loves the sea and pirates and everything that goes with it. Mori also has a few ships in a bottle placed delicately on her windowcill. She's REALLY good with animals and trains dogs for work. She's a dog person for sure. She and Viv eventually want rats, but theres not much space in their apartment for the amount they would need and they have Egg for now. In terms of her dynamic in the group, she serves as the mediator - particularly when playing a game like Uno or Monopoly. (Side note: they had to write colours on the cards for both games because of her colourblindness. Does she know shes ginger? good question, i dont know.) Unlike Jake and Viv who are determined to cheat the rules, Mori is more flexible in the way that she'll change the rules for the group if a compromise is needed. She's the second most social competent after Chad, shes just very charismatic. She also is the Dungeon Master when they play DnD together. She's big on dice collecting. She has them all organised by colour (Vivere helps lmao) in jars and displayed on her drawers. The group is extremely tight-knit and are almost always with atleast one other member of the group, but Mori has never been spotted in just a tshirt and jeans. The pirate outfit stays on during sex /j. What does she wear for pyjamas? No one knows. Vivere refuses to tell.

Uhhhh yeah I think thats basically it, LMAO. Tysm for asking and sorry this took a while to answer. but yeah! Here's the little dudes!!!! TBH i always enjoyed OCs that dont have any magical powers or plot theyre just people livin their lives, lmao. <33

[castlebyersafterdark]

idk what it is but all this pining for steve is making me want him less lol. more for you vinny i guess! i loved him in s3 but in s4 he's just too... nice. the dad of 8 kids vibe does not do it for me. and he looks soooo dad in those s5 loafers and with that hair.

as for heteronormativity anon, who is probs long gone by now, i find myself defending it as a cognitive concept. its a societal issue, but i feel like bylers use it to degrade individual milevens, who instead should be judged for their homophobia, arrogance about storytelling, or extreme denial. i would say the main prescription of anyone who is still left shipping mileven is denial due to unhealthy emotional attachment; meanwhile, general byler antis who dont necessarily care for mileven are either blind to storytelling or homophobic.

as for heteronormativity, its understandable when you think about what exactly IS it that sets romance apart from platonic love? we love byler because theyre friends, but what shape is the love and romance? is it devotion? friends can do that. is it care? attention? friends can do that too. is it in sexual attraction? well, some would argue they fall in love but don't feel sexual attraction. or that sex is secondary. is it in the extent of all these things and how they all contextually tie together that makes byler feel romantic? i would say: yes.

romantic love looks different for every couple, but the only things we have to share and empathise and express this with others outside of the couple are institutions such marriage, living together, children, sharing lives, and other gestures. think of trying to explain to anyone how or why you love your partner without sounding trite or cheesy or tired. its so unique to the experience of being in it. and what some would see as the peak of romance, others wouldnt. so if we're telling stories - or indeed relating to eachother as humans - there needs to be a shared understanding of what could be considered love, romance, or friendship.

so you can see that, in society that has a fairly good reason to expect men and women to be attracted to each other due to biological evolution, most people expect and subconsciously look for signs of more-than-friendship love and affection in different-sex pairings. it is literally, in a way, survival.

society is changing and more people are opening up to see queerness everywhere, and see the beauty of it. but there's no way people are ever going to stop thinking about mixed gender potential couples, because there's a biological hardwiring for het people to see heterosexuality that in others. even though, to queer folk, straight life seems easy to find partnership, its not straightforward and there are plenty of reasons why its hard. its comparatively easier than being queer, but its still uniquely hard for each person to find love, no matter their sexuality.

so... until there are more queer folk than het in the world, i don't think it will change. i can see how alienating it is to always be thought of second, but its the nature of being queer in a mostly het world. i dont think heteronormativity is objectively bad, not unless there is also prejudice and hate accompanying it. and plenty of straight folks will watch byler and think 'that's fucking beautiful.' they just probs won't be as invested as queer folk are, and you can understand that! and there are also lots of allies and straight people invested in queer stories, who did pick up on byler, but usually they have their own reasons for being so invested, such as relating to the outsiderness of queerness despite not being queer themselves.

Hmm, I can see what you mean but it's funny because I'm into Steve even more this way!! Entirely think it's a clothes making the man idea here. I like my Steve dorky and a little strange. Or classic Steve. I'd say this combines the best of. He was hottest in season one and three. But that look? Dressed like that and possibly road-tripping with Dustin? Cute!! Endearing. Love the fit. I don't like "babysitter Steve" because it's such a wider audience cliche by now, but I do think genuine moments with Dustin are great. And them spending all that time together?? Driving cross country or wherever? Really love that. Hope that's the Steve we're getting and it improves on season 4 Steve, one of my least fave character variations.

Onto the rest. "...who instead should be judged for their homophobia, arrogance about storytelling, or extreme denial." This is accurate, this is the core of that fanbase. And yeah, it might be unfair to those who aren't of these descriptors, but it's helpful in understanding. And reading through - I do see your point overall here and not negating any of that, that's all accurate and true, better or for worse. And is all the very definition of heteronormative thinking in society. Right there in the name. Normal straight culture. I mean, yeah in regards to romance people are going to fall to doing all that for any standard media and scrutinize the possibility for a man and woman towards a relationship where something queer is ignored or not seen or shocks.

It's not untrue to say there's more straight people out there. Accurate statistic. But that's the whole point - the want for acknowledgement of different lifestyle, lives lived. It's less about how romance is generally difficult, because yes, and more the media angle of all a man and woman need do is be put on screen together and stand there and the work is already done for the audience to accept and root for them. That's heteronormativity. That's what queer characters are up against in front of the audience. It's rarely that easy (some may chime in and say fandom does that with any two random men in proximity but ok - is fandom real life and an accurate view of society? No).

I definitely don't think you said anything untrue. The point and wish I guess, what were up against, is that assuming mindset where everything is straight = default. And a hope that at some mystical point, media and fiction is approached neutrally, where the assumption isn’t completely hardwired or challenging it at least isn't shocking if the default still remains, however unrealistic to think that the default will ever truly disappear. It's tolerance -> acceptance -> celebration. We're barely into the first one, overall.

[mondaymelon]

𝐃𝐍𝐈 + 𝐁𝐘𝐅 + 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 !

( this is. long overdue lmao. )

✮ 𝐃𝐍𝐈:

⤷ basic rules apply !!

⤷ homophobes + transphobes fuck off ₊⊹ ❤︎

⤷ plagiarists + tracers.

⤷ people that say ai created images are "real art."

⤷ people who send or support hate ❤︎

⤷ people who act like this: 1 2 3 4

✮ 𝐁𝐘𝐅:

⤷ as a minor, i do not write any fics that are not sfw!! suggestive is okay but never explicit. thank you!

⤷ please ask before translating any fics to other sites!! i do not accept reposts. same applies to fanart !!

⤷ please don't ask to be moots, id rather have us build up a friendship first :')

⤷ i have instances where. i just let asks. pile up in my inbox. it's not that i dont want to answer them - mprobably just burnt out and do not want anything to do with people at the moment !! this is not becuase i dislike you, do not take it personally !!

⤷ i call people petnames like "beloved" and "dearest". if this makes you uncomfortable, please tell me! everything i say is platonic, so please assume so without the tone indicator

⤷ most of my ramblings + rbs are on my sideblog!! i try to keep my mainblog somewhat clear of irrelevant stuff !

⤷ i do talk about ships i enjoy!!

⤷ dms are open but please have a reason to do so!!

⤷ very sarcastic person. uhm. instances of silly. i say very strange things. and swear with all caps and lots of emojis and exclamation marks and sometimes say wild shit concerning foul legacy's 9 mm dick /hj ... i try my best to use tone tags but if you ever feel uncomfy please let me know !!!

⤷ inbox is usually closed, so please check inbox status for its status before requesting anything! requests will be deleted if my inbox is closed, sorry!

⤷ last lil thing !! i update this from time to time, so if you dont have anything better to do, checking this post couldn't hurt :)

✮ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: (will be updated soon maybes !?)

#mondaymelon : my old ff tag - i dont write on this one anymore!

#★ ˎˊ˗ melonrambles! : old inbox asks and talking!! oh so silly

#💬 ⌗ 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 . . . ✧ : talking + inbox!

#🌱 ⌗ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐞 ! ♡ : inbox asks !

#📍 ⌗ 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ! ➤ : blog navi !!

#★ ˎˊ˗ mondaymelon : current fanfic writing ! / important stuff

#★ ˎˊ˗ melongallery! : fanart!

... there are more but theyre mostly for organization and other trivial things !

my blog is also hella disorganized so don't be surprised if you cant find shit

©mondaymelon

⤷ only on tumblr !! [ blog started 2/28/23 ]

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize any of my fanfictions without permission.

[teashadephoenix]

I looked up an old friend today, for no real reason other than I thought of her randomly. (Actually it was her birthday four days ago. Maybe that’s why she was lurking in the dark parts of my brain.) 

Things did not end well between this person and I. We were friends for eight years. Most of that time was spent “breaking up” bc she was the type of person who lost interest in me if she got a boyfriend, and she had to have a boyfriend, but she had bad judgment (like everybody does when youre 17) so they would cheat on her or were bad boyfriends, or whatever. So she’d dump them and come be my friend again-- for a few months, until she forgave the boyfriend or found a new one. This was exacerbated by the fact that even when we were hanging out, we fought. I couldn’t tell you what we ever fought about, but I do know that I wrote letter after letter telling her I was done with being treated badly and that I didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. But she always managed to find a way back in.

It wasn’t until after my mom died and I ventured into the adult world that I really saw how abusive she was. She talked down to me. She talked over me. My opinions were worthless. She had no respect for my beliefs (she was always trying to convert me to Christianity by way of “casually” reminding me I was going to Hell if I didn’t.) She was openly homophobic at a time in which I was just beginning to really question my own sexuality. I knew I would never be able to be honest with this person --who called herself my best friend-- about who I was. I’ve also referred to this person occasionally when talking about my asexuality journey, because she was the one who kept trying to set me up on blind dates and could not accept that I was happy being single. (Which, I get. I get that it’s hard to understand where someone is coming from when it’s so different from your own place. But that’s literally part of being a compassionate human being: accepting others’ differences even if you maybe don’t fucking get it.)

There is just... so much damage that this person did to me, that still affects me today. She was my first real brush with a Christian who wasn’t my mother, and she’s laid the foundation for all the Christians who followed her. I still have a hard time trusting people who say theyre Christian, bc I know no matter how much I beg and plead for them not to, the conversion attempts will follow. She is why I have a hard time talking things out when I am frustrated, why I simply let things fester in resentment-- because I couldn’t discuss any problem that arose between us without calling a guilt trip down on my own head. Any criticisms were mortal wounds to her ego, and she played the victim until I was apologising for bringing it up. I know the narcissist’s handbook now but 16 years ago I did not. She’s probably the reason I don’t like having people in my house, because she used to come over and stay nine, ten hours, and of course I couldn’t ask her to go home, because she would take it personally. (And no, before you ask, I did not have any other friends. I had been convinced, a little bit by her and mostly by my own self, that I was bad with people and couldn’t make other friends, so I had to hang on to the one that I had.)

Even just writing this out is bringing back the anxiety that I used to feel when she’d texted to say she was on her way to my house. I haven’t seen her in years and it’s as real as it was the last day I saw her. And I’m so fake, even now, with people. I can have so much anger and frustration boiling under the surface and you’d never know because Im so used to pretending everything is fine. 

Anyway, all this to say:

It isn’t just parents or romantic partners that can hurt you. How we relate to people is built by all the people we know, parents, teachers, regular faces in the crowd. And friends. That is how we learn how to people, by being with people.

And anybody can abuse you, especially when you trust them not to. Friends have a special key to your heart and you must be wary who you let in there. 

Because friends who talk down to you are not your friends. Friends who make you feel afraid to be who you are are not your friends. Friends who give you anxiety attacks at the mere idea of them coming over are not your friends.

But if you let them have a key, they can trash the place and you are the one left picking up the mess. Sometimes that shit takes years. Sometimes you can think it’s okay, that everything’s back where it’s supposed to go, and then you remember it’s their birthday and everything just upends itself off a table.

[randombubblegum]

drabblin about GIRLPARX!!!! below the cut..... ↓ ↓ ↓

ok so AWSTEN: pretty solidly femme. mostly wears skinny jeans or a skirt and tshirts with sneakers, sometimes sweaters, rarely a sundress. doesnt often wear heels or anything super girly. does her makeup mostly every day, and heavily if they have a show. acts cute and fawning and like a little bit of a diva, but shes pretty down to earth and focused in reality, just like boy awsten. she plays up the girly persona in public, but her personality is basically the same. very serious about writing songs even though shes stretched thin between babysitting and guitar lessons and band practice.

(this is set between 2013-2015 so) she has a boyfriend named grayson. hes fine, she guesses. (spoiler: they break up) shes always considered herself straight; she wants that perfect disney/pixar romance with a sweet but nonthreatening guy. loves the ideal of it, wants to be held and kissed and treated sweetly. realizes shes having weird feelings for otto but drags her feet acknowledging it for years because its scawwy. doesnt stop her from flirting tho because its not gay if you joke about it immediately after!!!!1!!

(boy!awsten struggled with both being perceived as effeminate and also hardcore band dudes being jackasses to him... if he were a girl, i think those pain points would be the same, but slotted into a different gender dynamic, right? girl!awsten being feminine wouldnt get her called homophobic slurs, but shed struggle in other ways...)

she has a huge chip on her shoulder from years and years of getting shit on by band guys for being a girl in the scene who wants to be IN a band. ever since she was a young teen, going to shows and playing in bands with her friends, its been a constant barrage of dudes acting like she cant play guitar, “name three of their songs”, “whose gf are you?”, comments about what shes wearing, just the absolute worst shit. when she was younger she tried to play the games, jump through the hoops, but when she made waterparks she decided she was done with all of that. if people want to check them out because awstens cute, or think of them as a girl band, then fine, let them. she knows theyre good. good enough to stand on their own.

OTTO: short for charlotte, but she hates that name. dresses exactly like her male counterpart: jeans, tshirts, thin hoodies. sweaters sometimes, short shorts sometimes. basically jock style. she played sports all through high school (no, not softball) and likes staying in shape—that plus drums keeps her pretty toned. shes got hella abs, not that shell show you. her hair is curly and hovers around shoulder length, but one winter she buzzes it short just to see.

she doesnt label herself. she likes awsten, thinks shes super cute and isnt oblivious to the way awsten flirts with her (now and also in their old band). but awsten has a bf and says shes straight and otto just figures shes kidding. she really wishes awsten wasnt kidding.

shes pretty much the Lesbian Ideal, not that shes cognizant of it, but she tends to be pretty masculine. that plus being naturally quiet and a beast on the drums shelters her from a lot of the shit awsten gets from dudes in the scene, but it still makes her so furious she legit thought about quitting music when o9k fell apart. she leaves any confrontation to awsten, though. shes glad they decided to say “fuck it” when they formed waterparks, because shes having a lot of fun playing shows with awsten and geoff.

GEOFF: her real name is Gertrude Francine, but she hates that it sounds like a grandma name!!! she shortened it to “G.F.” and it morphed into “geoff” along the way. awsten went bananas when geoff tried out because it meant they were a girl band with entirely boys names and she loves that. she says they cant have a bassist unless they find another chick with a dude name. no luck so far.

geoff loves video games as much or more than she loves music, and she knows a ton about them. she keeps it quiet because she hates getting teased for being a “gamer girl” but once youre friends shell talk your ear off about old zelda games. she dresses the same as her boy counterpart with the long swoopy hair of 2014-2015 geoff. she has big blue eyes and bushy eyebrows and shes taller than awsten and otto. shes a real softy and loves talking about feelings. she was a loner for a while before meeting awsten and otto, but now she considers them her closest friends and looks forward to practice and shows all week long.

geoff is straight because of course she is, but shes a sweetheart and really supportive of her disasterous gay bandmates. not that THEY know theyre disasterous and gay. i dont have a lot to say about girl geoff beyond this but please know that im in love with her and im sad shes not real because i want her to be my gf now. damn.

[nopeferatu]

How do you feel about ukus? So bottom/uke America and top/seme England.

OOH BOY anon are you trying to get me in trouble? lol ill put my answer under a read more ig, dont hate me fellow usuk stans

I don't like bottom ame/top eng. I'm really, very, extremely particular with the characterizations of my faves, but im especially picky about england and i find that a lot of ukus content makes him out to be really out of character, like...hes kinda weird? and creepy? And hes like really suave and IDK dont hate me but yanno that scene where hes pretending to be italian as an undercover thing? and hes like acting all charming and cringe?? Whenever i read ukus content specifically i ALWAYS am reminded of that scene and it makes me cringe SO HARD and i cant get through it

because im so particular abt ukus content i dont really read those fics

plus i kinda have a bone to pick with the ukus fans of yore (i mean circa 2012-2014) bc i remember a lot of those people were apart of the "england cant be feminine, trans, or anything less than a hyper masc top because he was a PIRATE!!!1 a god damn EMPIRE111!!!!" and like im sorry but multiple times hima has described arthur as feminine and has shown him having feminine interests, and idk...i just think amongst certain circles of fans that see england in a very specific light, theres a lot of hostility towards gender non conforming guys that comes across as really transpobic and (ironically) homophobic and just generally hostile against femininity to me. Ik that a lot of it stems from pushback against the stereotypes that queer men face irl, but like. Idk sometimes that pushback makes me uncomfortable because i embrace and love a somewhat softer version of arthur whos really comfortable in his feminine interests

I usually like to read fics and consume doujin content where arthur is a power bottom lol, cause i think hes really eager and hes a horn dog and he jumps at the opportunity for sexy times, or like content where he bottoms from the top. that kinda stuff. In my head hes very secure in himself and in the fact that he likes to take it up booty LOL

dont get me wrong i do like some ukus content but usually i avoid actively looking for it and reading it in favor of imagining scenarios that ill never draw/write out, because then if im the one creating it then im getting their characterizations down the way that I prefer

edit to add that like. irl there are gays who prefer to top and bottom!! i also think theres a lot of pushback against top/bottom stuff because i remember awhile back people were saying "if you say that a character strictly bottoms/strictly tops youre falling into heteronormative stereotypes, the only healthy relationship that gay people have irl is if theyre both switches" and I JUST WANNA REMIND YOU ALL...that MANY gays out there identify as strict bottoms and strict tops, or like mostly bottoms/mostly tops. Not all of them ofc but like...yeah i just wanted to get that out there because i see people say that shit all time, that the only "healthy" dynamic is if they are both switches and thats?? wrong and ahistorical

[whimsywit]

Hi! I'm resending this with the templete in mind :)

Can I request a red velvet truffle?

I'm a Sagittarius ♐

I don't have a gender preference

I prefer the age to be rather close to my age (I'm 16)

I like : sweets, coffee, tea, writing, cosplaying, drawing, reading,and riding horses/equestrian riding.

I dislike: Meat loaf, most juices/fruit flavored beverages, physics and chemistry, being lied to, people pretending to like me, racist/sexist/homophobic/ etc. People,

I like to write ( mostly fanfiction), read (usually memoirs), cosplaying and taking care/spending time with animals.

As far as talents go I would say I am usually very disciplined (hence me graduating early), I am funny and warm up to most people pretty easily.

Positive qualities I have are I am brave (like I stand up for others all the to.e but I don't stand up for myself :,)) kind and funny. I also am really good with calming people down from panic attacks. Idk if that counts as a talent or a trait but I just put it here. Oh yeah I'm also extremely empathetic

Negative qualities are I'm emotional, hot headed,clingy, I need attention a lot more than most people and I talk ALOT. I feel like being empathetic also can be considered a negative trait bc I have made horrible decision s in my life based on the empathy I feel for others.

I fear hamsters, being forgotten, loud noises, and being alone

My aspiration is to become a well known journalist after I graduate high school. I hope to write about the humanitarian side of things and I hope to try and educate people on different "controversial" topics

Qualities I admire in others are patience, kindness and bravery. I also feel it's important to note that I admire someone who doesn't shame/tease others for their hobbies

Some qualities I dislike are : people who wish to hurt others for no reason, liars, manipulators and anyone that feels happiness from hurting others

Extra: I decided to put my looks here, shoulder length dark brown hair, blueish gray eyes, pear shaped body and I'm 5"5. Oh yeah my pronouns are she/her but I'm fine with they/them as well!

thanks a bunch for being so cooperative before btw! I wavered a bit on this at first but then it hit like a TRUCK omfl I don’t think there’s anyone better for you at UA than...

Momo Yaoyorozu!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

From the get-go you guys share all of your interests and are immediately fast friends; every day it’s either tea party study sessions while sharing drinks and sweets (and her helping with any science work youve got :P), reading and writing all sorts of literature while getting to discuss and peer review with each other, or Momo taking you riding like you used to do growing up! For all we know her family’s got some private ranch or sumn idk theyre rich enough for it 😂

She’d quickly develop feelings for you though, admiring your intelligence and discipline, but even more so your ability to connect with people in a way she struggles with. You’re able to get her to open up with your jokes and genuine care when she feels so closed off from all of her peers, and I can see her struggling with anxiety due to her perfectionist nature so you’d easily help with that, too. On your end Momo more than qualifies in terms of kindness and patience, and is building her character towards the path of confidence and bravery as seen in the series—plus, being eccentric in her own right, she’s never one to make fun of others, being constantly understanding and and a beacon of light within her class.

At the same time, you two complement each other, her calm and coolheaded traits balancing your emotional and hotheaded side. She’s able to deal with and even channel your sensitivities in a way others might struggle with so you don’t end up hurting yourself, while you help her interact with people better and even bring out the passion in her! Just a sweet n supportive mutualistic relationship all around <3

You and Momo are both inspirations for everyone around you, actually, especially with your dreams to be a journalist to help and educate people (which she’ll for sure use her connections to help you achieve so bonus there ;D) I mean, two refined and loving girls that do their best to help anyone they come across? What more do they deserve than to end up in each others embrace, to fall back on each other, understanding and uplifting the other in such a way they won’t find anywhere or with anyone else?

[misterbitches]

wbl has mitigating circumstances that make sense wITHIN the story. non consensuality isn’t ok but there’s a foundation we see which, yes, is majorly failed in other tv shows. there are other ways to show whattever it is they feel like it (i watched the end of ep 2, im just too fuckin depressed rn to even think) but it’s intersting the cruelty exists not in A vacuum but the world with WBL creates where we can see that stark difference. something many BLs and shows in gen like kdramas or teen or new adult (essentially every youthfoul show cos exploitation and creator not caring) understand. TT is  a prime example of how it just doesn’t make sense these types of relationships unless there’s a solid enough foundation and at least a mild understanding of the inappropriateness.

right now, the toxicity is born out of like actual conflict. wer i  in in this situation, would i do any of that? no. in fact i’d beat anyone’s ass for ever manhandling me that way. i  want to itereate here emphasis none of this behavior is ok. since it is a tv show, they have more control and could ostensibly  have not written that. however, it’s okay for a show to flub that message, make us uncomfortable, or even truly fuck up the way we think it’s fucked up. i do NOT advise this to be a plan. HOWEVER: PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES. the reddest flag of all is: ARE THEY WILLING TO CHANGE? if they are not, they do NOT deserve to be together.

which mbrings me here. theyre giving us a reason why.

the program gives itself the space and the foreground for it to be a story that isnt fuocused on how much they fuck and fight. ergo these behaviours cannot be repeated bc theyre in this instance. so many viewers of everything say people expect media to be perfect. no. we dont. it’s impossible and we live in a trash disgusting racist capitaist garbage hellfire. what you mean is you want to see people make mistakes but ultimately transgress them and sometimes people just do shit we wouldn’t forgive, or is  messed up, or the writers need to make DAMN FUCKING SURE is clear. 

but unlike most shows esp targeted for young teens both het and BL, thte consequences of love or what love means to young people is so skewed and poorly done because it’s by people who AREN’T that age, don’t know howhumans work, shit like that. i mean u can just tell by the acting even as sam is really goof and most experienced but has a real whole life outside of this persona, a girlfriend, goals of acting probably; showing what it’s like to be human in a way but not a projection of human fantasy through rape culture.

we like to see dysfunction for two reasons: as a way to get out of it or as a redemption arc

but for people who are making cheap shows for kids who don’t need to think about it it’s like: shitty execution, gross love, and no context for why they should even CONTINUE to stay together on top of the harm 

wbl is far from perfect like any other show  but it’s wil what happens when intentions are clear when you show them and so it’s easier for all of us to process. not to mention they built this story through blocks, the way one is supposed to, the relationship of the two of them when they hadn’t been intimate is very different from now 

GSD has to tell the truth, SY has to grow up, rich ppl suck. but it’s a good ride

as an aside is sam lin’s gf cute i hope so but like in a fun way idc abt model bitches it’s so obvious when men do that lmaoooooo but omg! i hope hes happy and also he and mr yu stay friends fro a long time!

oh and i wanna add that GSD’s life revolving around his love for shi yu is actually untrue. it’s a projectiona nd i think the illusion of that projection is brokena nd that’s a good thing. the show sets up an ensemble cast we vibe with, want to see, appreciate, and that means GSD has friends and loves. his life revolves aruond him and the way he sees the romance but he would have never let his mom go to the US by himself and i really hope the show explores why it is IMPERATIVE for him to find his own personhood and not just take care of others. 

his mom would want him to love every bit of his life. all consuming love is so beautiful but it’s only beautiful when you realize you have to survive to love someone so well. and when you survive and understand yourself, your loved ones feel it. they’re very reliable as a group friends and a people and shi de is and will always be a human outside of yu. he has to understand that. it was nice to see his anger at being played too cos it’s like yea that’s fucking disgusting and it hurts and kills you

i’m going to continue to assess the volatility within the story and its progression as much as i can if i can handle being online. this show really exceeds a lot of expectations and mostly i think i forget....it’s actually fun. i was so happy to see the way the dad came into the room in the morning bc i think that was so sweet and hopefully is an indicator of why he said to do what he did. unfortunately homophobic or not: he fucked up. majorly. as a parent, a confideant, a loved one. you do not do that. i am sorry. but they can bounce back. but that’s a lot of pain, ok? 

also i hate rich ppl did i mention that

oh one more thing idk if they had sex but dramas love to do the whole drunk ppl fucking thing and it’s fucking disgusting and will always be :)

[seerofmike]

i feel like a huge portion of kpop fans are gay fetishists attracted to the idea of quote unquote feminine men and thats why theres so much bullshit

YES okay. okay let me rant for a minute. let me preface this by saying i am NOT a kpop shipper at ALL. this is going to be long so i’ll put it under a’ ‘read more’ because i’ve been holding it in for TWO FUCKING YEARS BABY!

being mlm in boygroup kpop fandom is literally so exhausting. 99% of the people who ship real life human men from boygroups are fetishists and i will tell u why

obviously we all know of a ship in a fandom where the characters' personalities are twisted to fit the heteronormative view of "top" and "bottom" --one character is hypermasculine (top) and the other one is feminine (bottom). there are typical traits associated with both. the ‘top’ is scary or mean or angry or serious while the ‘bottom’ is emotional or bubbly or shy. while this is egregious, at least its fictional characters. their personalities can be simplified or exaggerated and it doesnt cause any real life harm.

im going to define what i think of as a fetishist: a non-mlm person who overly sexualizes gay men/men they think are gay/gay ships, and forces them into heteronormative roles for their own pleasure. its not even limited to cishet women. plenty of non-mlm lgbt people do this too and its like disheartening. so anyways

enter the kpop fandom

i may be incredibly biased here because one of the most affected members [of bts] is my favorite kpop boy, but oh god is the ‘personality change/simplification’ thing AWFUL here. i do not go out of my way to find fanart or see fanfic threads, but being in the bts fandom, u will inevitably see it and i REALLY wish i didnt

so anyways. my favorite boy ever is hoseok. he is sweet and hardworking and very passionate about dance and he can be serious when needed, but ultimately he tries to be very lighthearted and will consistently laugh or make jokes or do something funny when the other members feel uncomfortable or awkward (mostly during english-speaking interviews). he kisses the members on the cheek a lot/hugs them a lot/cuddles them a lot [this is important for later okay]

of course, theres a lot more to him because he is a multi-faceted real life human being, and i don’t know him personally, but that’s a general idea of what he’s like, okay?

SHIPPERS will have you think differently. some video got popular on youtube ""proving"" that hoseok is a sadist (which is just clips of him jokingly playfighting with the younger members), and the video depicts him as secretly mean and serious, and shippers will use that to say "hoseok is a total top!" and then most fanart or imagines or fanfic threads you see are top!hoseok, using this imagined 'hoseok is a sadistic dom' narrative to fuel their fiction, because SOMEONE has to be the top, so they twist him into this hypermasculine mean person (and probably feminize the 'bottom' of their ship but more on that later)

EXCEPT it is not just fiction. this narrative bleeds into REAL LIFE. you have new armys who dont know anything about the shipping scene, and yet somehow the narrative of hoseok being a secretly mean, sadistic person has already made its way into them. in real life, hoseok likes rainbows and wearing nail stickers and putting glitter in his hair. yet people in the fandom will say shit like "hoseok hates femininity" "hoseok would never wear [thing] because he's a dom"

sometimes on twitter you have ppl like me who say uh actually you guys are really weird and this is fetishy and in real life hoseok is very nice and not sadistic at all, you will UNDOUBTEDLY get comments like "omg hoseok isnt cute/nice when will yall learn he’s secretly like [x] and [x]". you could post a video of hoseok with a puppy titled "wow cute" and u will get like 2 clowns in ur comments going 'hoseok isnt CUTE hes a sadist’ . i wish i was joking but i am not. they will do this for EVERY action hoseok does. he cannot blink without people twisting it into a sexual thing

[also, side note: its funny that, since hoseok is one of the least popular members and therefore one of the least shipped members, he is often the odd man out among pairings, and is assigned 'the straight one' by default, and 9 times out of 10 people who assign him 'the straight one' do all this 'dom daddy hoseok' shit.

which just goes to show that this is indeed a matter of heteronormativity.]

so anyways arguably the most popular ship with hoseok is with yoongi, sope. this absolutely happens to other ships probably but im just using them as an example because i see it the most, being a hobi stan

yoongi is very calm and thoughtful and kind and sometimes appears to be cold/having a bad attitude but its just because of the way he speaks, which is very bluntly. again hes a multi faceted real human and i do not know him personally but thats generally what hes like.

god the fandom. treats him SO BAD. so horribly. he's shorter than hoseok. he's shorter than hoseok and people will exaggerate that literal 1 inch height difference so bad and people will turn his whole personality into shy and blushy and In Love With Hoseok, so in love with hoseok that ‘he gets sad’ when hoseok doesn’t kiss him/hug him/or whatever and IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE.

ANY time hoseok or yoongi do ANYTHING together at ALL, people will ALWAYS push the narrative that hoseok, being the mean sadist he is, is 'hurting' yoongi for not returning his undying love or whatever. hoseok did a vlive where he made bracelets for all the members and he considered putting a cat charm on yoongi's but ultimately decided not to because he was having difficulty and oh my GOD sope stans twisted it into 'hoseok HATES yoongi, yoongi would have been so happy, he would have worn that all the time, hoseok isnt affectionate he hates being close with other people after all :(' which is LITERALLY not true because hoseok gives all his homies good night kisses but okay! whatever fits your narrative!

PEOPLE ACTUALLY HATE HOSEOK BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE OF A SHIP. BECAUSE OF THE MANUFACTURED NARRATIVE PUSHED ONTO HIM BY FETISHISTS SO HE COULD FIT INTO THEIR HETERONORMATIVE ‘TOP’ ROLE. not to be all wahh wahh hoseok is one of the least popular members BUT THIS IS LITERALLY A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

everyone """headcanons""" hoseok to be a top so they will make him a MEAN HYPERMASCULINE person. everyone """headcanons""" yoongi as a bottom so they will make him a SOFT UWU HYPERFEMININE person. shippers are literally pigeonholing the two of them into fujoshi-esque roles for jack-off material.

anyways this all boils down to: gay fetishists will do anything, ANYTHING, to twist characters or real life fucking people to fit their heteronormative view of top and bottom. top=mean and masculine, bottom=soft and feminine. hoseok is a real life human being. yoongi is a real life human being. they both have real life human personalities, and yet shippers twist their personalities into the opposite to fit their narrative, to the point where nonshippers will genuinely view the two of them as something theyre not.

you have tons of armys that theorize that hoseok's happiness is just a mask he puts on to hide a cruel nature. on twitter. on youtube. in fanart and fanfiction. you have tons of armys that truly believe that, despite literally all the evidence, believe he hates being cute, he hates being happy, he hates the members, and hes secretly a dom daddy fuckboy who wants to bend yoongi over a table. hes a real life human being and fetishists doing their fetish thing has real life consequences.

the same is true for bottom!hoseok stans: they overexaggerate his more cutesy personality traits and he does have a 'feminine' figure i.e. he has a rly small waist but they will overexaggerate that as well and give him huge hips and its disgusting but dom!hoseok is far more frequent with far more devastating consequences so i used that as an example but they’re both bad.

people who """"headcanon"""" [like actually headcanon/firmly believe and not just joking or lighthearted] that members are gay will force these types of roles onto the members. if someone genuinely believes that like, yoongi is gay/bi/whatever, and then try to force this subby soft uwu persona onto him, they have no respect for gay people. they dont. gay people are simply objects for their fantasies. their view of gay people is so one-dimensional and so driven by fetishists’ ideas that its actually disheartening.

and god bitches will deadass be homophobic yet still ship real ass human idols. not just for bts specifically but all boygroup fandoms. sometimes when you search up an idol's name, [idol] gay will be trending--whether it be because of people saying "im gay for him" or whatever, and a LOT of cishet people will try 'clearing' the searches because being gay is bad or something. people normally ‘clear’ the searches if something like [idol fat] or [idol ugly] are trending, which im telling you so you know the context that people only clear the searches when bad things are happening.

[never forget that time 'jungkook gay' was trending and bitches were like "lets clear the searches!" but their pinned tweet said some shit like "sub jungkook x dom jimin coffee shop smut au thread 🌈". bitches also be like i cant be homophobic i ship taekook]

and hoseok and yoongi arent the only ones affected ! we could get into why namjoon and jin (another popular ship) are often assigned 'dad' and 'mom' respectively, or the fact that gay fetishists not only twist members' personalities to fit their ship narrative, but will also force tropes onto them i.e. taehyung/jungkook shippers who will literally demonize jimin and call him a slut or say that he's trying to 'get in the way of' of taekook or 'steal' taehyung/jungkook but thats a whole DIFFERENT rant baby! racism/asian fetishism is also definitely a present factor in all of this but this focus was primarily on gay fetishism and heteronormativity.

oh my god i could also get into the severe transphobia/trans fetishism in this fandom too but this post is already long enough as it is

tl dr: gay fetishists will fetishize real life people and it has actual real life effects and we should ban straight women from shipping mlm

[grocerystoredean]

Ur buddy dba here!! Ok so my dad and sister rlly love baseball, like theres a local minor league team theyre fans of. I myself did think a home run was where the guy got back to the starting plate (actually its where they hit the ball and it goes over the wall, BUT it has to stay in the lines?? Idk i think this makes it kinda unfair to the left handed players, which there are a lot) so im not really well versed in anything sporty*. But they were going and for once i come along mostly because there was a discount on hotdogs and i fucking love tubed meat. And i noticed a lot of interesting things whilst i was there.

So there were these two guys sitting in front of us and they were pretty quiet in the first inning (each inning has TWO rounds, like each team gets to hit the ball which actually makes a lot more sense cuz its even and whatnot) but then the blue shirt guy gets a couplea drinks in him and he starts yelling at the players? Which i suppose is customary, a lotta ppl were doing it but i still found it quite rude, especially cuz the stuff they were saying was… weird. Like the bad team had the same thrower out for like 5 innings and THE ENTIRE TIME blue shirt guy yells about how tight his pants are. Which, yeah, dude was like. Baseball pants are kinda like leggings and all of these guys are. I dont wanna be vulgar but they all look really nice!! You know what i mean. Baseball pants? They’re nice! Anyway it was kinda like blue shirt guy was catcalling the thrower and im like 90% he was being homophobic somehow but he was also literally staring at another dudes ass the entire time. I think he wouldve punched me if id brought that up tho.

Ofc the mold (hit cw tv show) slowly consuming my mind wasnt exempt from this lovely family bonding experience so i was like. Damn. What if castiel supernatural were here (actually furst i thought about sam winchester a lot because he seems baseball) and then i casually tried to come up with the best stupid meet-cutes that could happen at a baseball game. I despise that the term meet-cute is something in my regular vocabulary but also it gets the point across so whatever. Lets play tumblr game: imagine ur otp. Oh no! I hit you in the face with a baseball and now you are sueing me i hope we dont fall in love :( (;)). / Its .25$ hotdog night but i forgot my quarters :( oh? You have a quarter? Well what do u want in exchange? My hand in marriage?! Ok. (Yes this one has more pornographic implications but SHHHHH. Its too easy dont take the bait) / im the mascot and ur scared of the foam creatures from hell so u drop kick me and apparently im kinda into that. / ooh im a sports announcer except i spend the entire time complimenting u instead of talking about the game. I lost my job can i stay with u plz.

I’ll stop. But fr buying someone .25$ tubed meat actually holds so much love. Mmmm hot dog. If it werent rude to take pictures of random people i think i would have a camera full of old guys who look like stan lee. There are a lot of them. I think old guys kinda go in like a venn diagram of stan lee to like. Another old man. Idk u know what i mean. That doesnt have much to do with the rest of this other than i saw an old man who looked like stan lee. Hm. This is all much less funny than it was in my head, and i feel that my revelations about baseball are most likely common knowledge thats just new and shocking to me (like when the first time i went to camp and was dissapointed to find out we WERENT sworn enemies with the camp across the lake, and therefore no team bonding or canoe racing for the future of the camp or like dance offs would be happening which i knew were unlikely but i at least assumed there would be pranks or something. Then again mine was a camp for disabled kids so i feel like any prank that was played on us could very easily become a hate crime.)

Haha this one isnt as fun as i hope i usually am nor doesit contain any dead animals but i rlly wanted to check in on u and say hi and all that and i thought the overtly sexist middle aged man who yelled at a guy for having a tight ass for like 3 hours would be a good way to do it. How’ve you been? Also. Baseball. Opinions? I think its fun and I enjoy watching it i guess but i think they should hit the ball more often cuz its way more interesting than all the throwing back and forth.

*actually i know about fencing because its the raddest sport. Swords!! Fuck yeah!!!!!!!

dba i genuinely do not know where to start in responding to this. you amaze me. you met dean winchester in the flesh. sexist objectifying men looking ass. that man was posessed by the spirit of dean (rip jackles true vessel).

also you know astonishingly little about baseball. maybe my dad loves baseball a too much amount but he knows almost all the players names on basically any team (because being insane about things is genetic. i do blame him for this blog). i think its semi boring but its not the worst sport (football is the worst) and i do watch on occasion.

now for a bit of baseball knowledge. the game actually favors lefty hitters, they're in demand, because more people are right handed and therefore more pitchers are right handed, and it's easier to hit an off handed pitch (left with right or right with left) than a same handed pitch. so if the other team doesnt have a left handed pitcher to switch in (which is very possible), the hitter could have a better chance of getting a solid hit. the foul lines on either side are pretty even, so it really doesn't harm lefties or righties. so yeah. lefties for the win!

[voxofthevoid]

Hii. Can i share an irrelevant yet interesting thing i observed? On twitter, mcu stans and writers & artists are segregated bc they mostly clash. Anyway, lots of stans see steve as bottom sometimes to the point of feminization, while for writers its the other way around-they do it w/ bucky. I have no problem either way but I'm just wondering why that is. Any thots? Feel free to ignore this hahaha its stupid but im really curious

Shit. Just realized how my ask abt the twitter stans + writers sounded. The clash has nothing to do w/ sex positions btw. Mostly mcu twt criticizes the "problematic content" & "fetishization". The most recent one I can think of is bucky being drawn in feminine clothes. Which is weird bc the way they talk about steve isnt different? Im just confused why theyre against bucky being seen that way. Sorry for bothering u!! Just wanted to clear that up. Pls ignore 😭 

---

Hi, anon! It’s not a stupid question at all, I understand the confusion about some fandom behaviors. Gods know I’ve got it too. I do have thoughts (and also thots but the pandemic has separated me from them).

So disclaimer: I avoid twitter like the plague, so I’m going by only what you've described, which is that there are two groups who don’t get along and both display the same behavior but one thinks the other is problematic for that behavior.

Now, this specific instance might be alien to me but the general gist of it is sadly very familiar.

(Also, I’m gonna be using ‘you’ in the general sense a lot in this. I’m not accusing you of anything described here, nonnie)

First of all, whenever fandom discussions segue into accusations of "problematic content" and "fetishization", you can stop unpacking and throw away the whole damn suitcase. In this particular case, if one side is saying that feminizing Bucky is fetishizing (how the fuckst even) while they themselves feminize Steve, then they’re hypocrites who’re clearly far less subtle about their double standards than most people who engage in this sort of wank.

As for why they act this way - from what I’ve generally observed, there’s a trend in fandom where it’s no longer enough to simply like or dislike something. You have to do it for woke reasons and moreover, you have to go out of your way to convince other people to also like/dislike it. This is baffling to me. I understand finding fandom friends who share your tastes. Common ground is fun, even - especially - for venting/bitching purposes. But those who go “my way or the highway” for all of fandom make zero sense. Not everyone will agree with your character interpretations and your ships and your likes and your dislikes. We’re all different people looking for different things from fandom.

For the most part, this is an implicit understanding in fan interactions, but for a while, things have been changing. There’s a lot of performative vitriol from certain sects of fans. Quite a few people act like your tastes in fiction define you as a person.

No. It doesn’t. If you hate Natasha, you’re not a misogynist. If you think Stucky is boring, you’re not a homophobe.

And to use the example you cited, drawing Bucky in feminine clothes doesn’t make you a fetishizer or a transphobe or whatever hot-button word people like to throw around when men are drawn in feminine ways. Drawing Steve that way also doesn’t make you any of these things.

But for a lot of folks, it’s not enough to simply say “yeah, I hate Bucky in a dress but I love Steve in one.” You have to do mental gymnastics to show why Bucky in a dress is fetishizing (once again, fetishizing  what) while Steve in a dress is a-okay. It doesn’t make much sense, as evidenced by your confusion, anon.

I got a little sidetracked but yeah, sounds like that's why what you’re describing happens. Basically, individual tastes are complex and can’t always be easily explained, but toxic fandom pockets have it made it so that these tastes can’t be expressed unless they’re accompanied by the ‘right reasons.’

That’s my two cents at least. Hope it helped? Feel free to drop by again if you wanna ask anything else <3

[bloojayoolie]

Apparently, Arguing, and Cheating: ...we're half way thru 2019 and yall are still out here pretending "b*phobia" is a thing hm Lors of comments on this post saying im wrong but none of them are explaining how biphobia is real. Explain & point out to me the specific oppression bi people face, that isnt just a combination of homophobia & misogyny. Bi people dont face a specific oppression that isnt one of those two things im being told bi women have a higher rate of IPV than other groups, but the fact that bi men do not replicate the same numbers means that this is misogyny, not biphobia. If it was biphobia, anyone who is bisexual would face the same rates of abuse. And they dont. Only women do. Its not that "bi people cant experience oppres- sion" which...they do. If theyre women, they face an intersection of homophobia for their perceived-gay relationships, and misogyny. If theyre bi men, they face homophobia. There is still not a unique oppression bi people have, except being told "bisexuality isnt real", but as lesbian if i had a fucking dollar for every time i was told "lesbianism isnt real", "once you try dick you wont 'go back"? Id be fucking loaded. So "[sexuality] isnt real" is just said to people in same sex relationships because it "goes against" homophobic persons pov. & anyway my original comment on this post still stands _(9)F. Bi ppl in visibly straight relationships face no oppression, theyre in fact protected by that guise of heterosexuality. If bi people face oppression in percieved heterosexual relationships, than it goes to reason that heterosexuals are also oppressed. But ive already seen one person on this post claim that the hets ARE oppressed so okay, i know i'm just another teenager with a fandom icon (even younger than the last one! oh no!) but here we go. you say all opression bi women face is a combination of homophobia and misogyny and therefore biphobia isnt real? Lesbophobia is exactly that. a combination of homophobia and misogyny. Does that mean Lesbophobia is not real? That lesbians dont face unique problems even if it is just a combination of other forms of opression? since you asked here are some unique opressions bi people experience: "why cant you just pick one?" being stereotyped as promiscuous or cheaters being seen as greedy told are actually gay or straight, just in the process of questioning Here are some statistics about bisexual people: 45% of bi women have considered or attempted suicide, followed by 35% of bi men and then by 35% lesbians and 30% gay men third of bisexual people reported not disclosing their sexual orientation to their healthcare providers, leaving them without full access to medically necessary care here's a few things from a statistics canada study on violent victimization of Lesbians Bisexuals and gay men in 2014 Compared with heterosexual Canadians, bisexual individuals were almost nine times more likely to be sexually assaulted Rate of violent victimization among lesbian and gay Canadians down from 2009 but remains unchanged for bisexual individuals bisexual individuals were significantly more likely than their heterosexual and lesbian or gay counterparts to report experiencing homelessness. 18% versus 8% and 12% Bisexual individuals experienced violent victimization at a rate nearly double that of lesbian and gay individuals I'm a lesbian, so I in no way claim to be an expert on biphobia. These are things my bi friends have experienced. Thats what im saying: lesbophobia is an intersection of facing homophobia & misyogony, misyogonoir is the intersection of racism and misyogony, but because "bisexual" encompasses women *and* men it cant be an intersection of homophobia and misyogony ."why cant you just pick one?" would argue that thats less oppression and more ignorance. Someone not knowing what bisexuality is doesnt put you at risk of losing your home or being beaten, in the same way being in an "overt" homosexual relationship does. sterotyped as cheating That is a unique assumption about bi people, but ive never seen it directed at bisexual men, mostly bisexual women - and women are already considered to be forced on a thin line of "pure or whore", so i dont know if i can agree that it is biphobia and not just misogyny. But im willing to admit that it might be? ldk. told youre gay or straight Theres a popular post circulating that says so- mething along the lines of "bi women are assu- med to be actually straight and experimenting, and bi men are assumed to be actually gay: the default is 'attracted to men" thats misyogony. These are the exact studies i was asking for earlier & got told no. So thank you, genuinely, for finding them. But even reading these i have to ask why, if biphobia is the actual cause, why arent bi men harmed as much as bi women? It honestly just all reads as very intense misogyny, which doesnt affect bi men. And on my first tag, i said "if biphobia is real, so is heterophobia", which i still think. If bi people are oppresed for being BISEXUAL, not oppressed for being seen as "potentially" gay, or ""potentially" in a gay relationship, then they are oppressed for their attraction for the same and opposite sex, which they experience at the same time. You cant be oppressed for heterosexual attraction, or bise- xual attraction to the opposite sex, or whatever you want to consider that specific attraction. Sorry i just overall don't think that someone in visibly heterosexual relationship (whether or not either or neither of the parties are actually bisexual) faces any oppression in the aspect of their perceived sexuality. A male & female bisexual couple holding hands in public isnt going to get beaten up, or harassed, or met with the same vitriol and fear that a female & female, or male & male bisexual or gay couple would face. Thats what my op was out. & for the record i wasnt mocking that last person for being young & having a fandom blog, objectively theres obviously nothing wrong with either of those lol. she insulted me & i responded by saying something equally reductive. I dont care if young ppl interact with my blog, i just wish she didnt jump onto a vent post i made a week ago about a homophobic bisexual coworker that had like...no notes & turn tinto a post insulting me and w several people saying they want me stabbed bloody and dead () but we dont all get what we want, so Biphobia is just homophobia and misogyny apparently.