#also this is culture heavy so not much plot besides side of life stuff

[wordsvomit101]

12. Chuseok and future plans

(1 year after the death of Mr and Mrs Lee)

On the cool autumn morning, it's the lunar calendar's 8th month, the 15th day dawned with a whisper of anticipation, heralding the joyous celebration of Chuseok. Having arrived at the ancestral home of his grandparents just the day prior, they would be expected to be awake early in the morning to lend a hand with Charye and pay their respects at the family graves afterward, which also includes Raon's parents once they get back to Ulsan.

The day kicks off at the crack of dawn, with Minhyeok and his older brother rising at the ungodly hour of 4:30 AM to pitch in with the cleaning and preparing of fruits and vegetables. He most likely will join in with the cooking once his old man and his grandfather stock up on meat and fish for bulgogi and saengseon, though he remembered that they will also get some makgeolli as offerings.

They sluggishly got to the well-lit and spacious kitchen, prominently featuring a large window that showed the dark sky and the beautiful porch and a cozy patio, nestled amidst a serene outdoor setting that evokes a sense of tranquility. The coldness of the air contrasted with the warm tones of the interior. Looking at the room again, despite being a small component of the modern hanbok, Minhyeok appreciates his grandfather's great design of it when his parents gifted the old couple the house when the man retired from the Marine Corps.

"Good morning you two, Minhyeok are Raon still sleeping?", the gentle voice of his mother pulls him out of his thoughts as he and his brother step down the short stairs to the brown cabinetry over the two working women and they each took baskets of fruits and vegetables from the white countertop to the sink to clean.

His mom and grandmother stopped their chatter and finished cleaning the dishes. With practiced hands, they gather the necessary ingredients from neatly arranged bowls and jars, each item meticulously chosen for its quality and freshness.

Less drowsy than before, he can guarantee to not slur his words to not make a fool out of himself in front of his respected grandmother, especially when he proudly offers his help last night, "Yes, she's still out like a log, but I could try to wake her up. She's a heavy sleeper, but I'm sure she'll be happy to lend a hand once she's up"

With the background noise of the water from the sink, the air begins to fill with the fragrant aroma of rice flour, subtly sweetened by the scent of honey and sesame oil. Minhyeok's grandmother carefully measures out the precise amount of flour, her weathered hands expertly forming a well in the center. Meanwhile, his mother easily cracked open eggs, their yolks vibrant against the pale backdrop of the mixing bowl. With a warm smile when she glanced back at him, his grandmother reassured him.

"Thank you, dear, we're glad to see you all so eager to help out but let the girl rest, she must be tired", her callous hand softly smoothed his ruffled hair as she walked by him to get the kettle, "It warms my heart to have my family gathered together, working side by side on such a special day."

With a gentle touch, his grandmother pours warm water into the well, slowly incorporating the flour until a smooth dough begins to form. His mom and grandmother then begin to work in perfect harmony, their movements synchronized as if they share a secret language known only to them.

While he wanted to protest a bit, he couldn't deny her, he also wouldn't want to disturb Raon's peaceful rest right now, she woke up twice last night in a panic and landed a kick to his rib in her wake, which also effectively wake him up when he falls down from the bed. He had to guide her back to sleep by gently rubbing her head like how her parents used to do so for her when she had trouble sleeping. It was quite a marvel how she went back to sleep within 10 seconds.

His brother also pitched in, "We've got this covered. Let Raon sleep a little longer. Also, here we're done, is there something else you need help with?" his brother puts plates of fresh and cleaned plates of decorated fruits next to baskets of vegetables.

Coincidentally, his old man and grandfather also come down to the kitchen, back from their trip from the store.

"We're back. We got the meats and some makgeolli for later", his old man said as the two men set down their brought goods, took off their coats, and hung them on the wall hanger.

His mom turned to his dad when he walked over to her while she was making the filling - a mixture of sweetened sesame seeds, finely ground chestnuts, and a hint of cinnamon. As his old man lowered his head to her right shoulder and placed his hand on her waist, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, honey, and thank you, Dad, for your help. Minhyeok, could you please start cooking the bulgogi? And Hyunwoo, could you roll the songpyeon dough into small balls once your Halmoni fills the mixture in? I'll take care of making the daegu-hoe", without missing a beat she took the cod and started to prepare the dish after she examined it.

"That's right. Now, why don't you two set up the altar before coming down to help us with the preparations?", his grandmother addressed the two men and they all nodded in agreement before immersing themselves in the work. Raon woke up at 5:30 and joined them, helping his grandmother with the yakgwa, chattering away in the meantime.

It is mostly mundane topics, from health to what they did last week or what happened lately, but the topic then changes to Minhyeok, Raon, and his brother's education and future plans. The subject got an anxious flinch from Raon, which she shrank further when she noticed how everyone in the kitchen noticed it. They ignored it for her sake and focused their attention on Minhyeok and his brother.

"So, Minhyeok, Hyunwoo, how are your studies going?", his grandfather started as he started to make tea with red ginseng his father gifted the couple yesterday.

"Ah, it has been going well, Harabouji", his brother quickly answered to ease the tension, he continued, "I've been thinking about becoming a dentist. And I want to start my career in the United States"

Silence fell upon the kitchen as what his brother said sank into them.

Well,... It was a shocking new, it got him distracted from his cooking too. It is not that he doubts his brother's capabilities, no, the older teen has always been an intellectual, thanks to his teaching that both he and Raon don't need to go to hagwon like their peers. His strong interest in dental hygiene is very obvious in where he wants to be in life, and always makes it a point to take good care of his own teeth while reminding others to do the same. His crush is also in his school. Minhyeok thought his brother would stationed in Korea.

"Oh? That's quite ambitious. Why the United States?", for some reason his old man seemed a bit less collected than usual, he's not the type to be surprised by this, the few times Minhyeok saw him like that was an incident with his mom's stalker. The strain in his eyes was quite out of place while his mother only looked at them in worry. His brother only calmly continued without missing a beat, yet his eyes never met anyone in the room.

"I've been doing some research, and it seems like the best course of action would be to complete my undergraduate studies first. That way, I can focus entirely on my education without any interruptions", his movements while efficient, becoming more and rigid. His dad also seems to notice and relaxed his face and voice.

"And dental school?", short and straightforward as usual when a tense situation like this happened.

"After completing my undergraduate studies, I plan to apply for dental school in the US. I'm confident that with my academic achievements, I can secure scholarships to help cover the costs", he never got these two, they got more relaxed just by the other treating them like colleagues, it's weird.

The scent of the food got his focus back and Minhyeok transferred the cooked bulgogi to a serving platter, the glossy caramelized glaze glistening in the light. He garnishes it with thinly sliced green onions and a sprinkle of sesame seeds, adding a final touch of freshness and texture.

While he was doing that, his brother and dad seemed to relax the tension by themselves once his brother reported his detailed plan to defer his military service, from the MMA, MND, to the South Korean Embassy, etc. It's confusing and convoluted, and when Raon and him share a look, their thoughts are understood immediately. Even his mom is looking at them with a now amused smile.

While the others are still focused on his brother and old man, Raon walks over to him, notion for him to lower his head, and whispers, "Hey, Min, what about you?"

"Me?", honestly he expected this question sooner or later but it would be a while before either of his grandparents asked. Raon helped him pick up all the plates of food to the living room table since everything was pretty much done.

"Yeah you, what do you want to do? I mean, you have always been... good at pretty much everything. For me, I think I want to pursue a career in literature"

"That sounds great, Raon. You're good with words. I'm sure you'd excel at it if you put your mind to it"

If she becomes an author, he needs to keep his eyes out for any of her publishing.

Raon smiles giddily, lightness graces her steps, "Thanks, Min. What about you? Have you thought about what you want to do?"

Once they settle all the plating on the table and he thoughts about it. He... honestly doesn't know what to do, he feels too inexperienced to give a satisfactory answer to questions like these.

He likes making friends and he likes spending time with people he loves. He likes sports, he likes arts, he likes cooking and baking, he likes learning new things, he... He doesn't know what he wants to do.

"I have been living quite aimlessly huh..."

Seeing his silence, she awkwardly pats his shoulder, in an attempt to comfort and redirect his attention back from his daze and he looks back at her curiously.

She hesitated for a while and she gripped his shoulder lightly as she tried to find her words, frowning cutely at that. Looking at her face his heart seems to unconsciously untangle itself.

"Seriously, I'm so bad at this...", he waits and he feels some sort of realization forming, "I- whatever path you choose, you- You will be good at it ok?!"

A sudden rise to her voice surprised him and the intensity in her eyes when she looked at him, made his heart do a backflip, his face felt hot all of a sudden.

"A-Also! We- we are still young anyway! We have time to explore our choices. We will support each other during it anyway," the excitement and foreboding gripped his entire body with vice when he saw her blushing embarrassed face.

"Oh"

"You are always there for me so I will be there for you if you don't know what to do", her genuine words left him clinging to them.

"Oh no", this is dangerous, his heart is about to jump out of his throat at this point.

He almost didn't notice Raon raising her hand with her pinky finger to his face, "L-Let's make a pact to always encourage each other to follow our passions, no matter where they may lead us!", her face is furiously red now, it's so lovely, he both want to fold into two and laugh. So he does both.

"Hey! Stop laughing you bastard! I cannot do this heart-to-heart thing so stop making it longer!", she gave him several light-hearted smacks to his back but he saw her growing grin despite her grumpy actions.

"This is ridiculous, yet,...", he looks up at her crouching figure next to him, looking down at him, hiding half of her beautiful face with her arm and the other pinching his left cheek in annoyance.

"I want to be with you and I want to make you happy", a realization never feels easier than this. It feels warmer and nicer compared to the fervor he expected.

He extended his pinky finger and her eyes brightened up and she quickly hooked her pinky with his.

"Every step of the way?"

"Every step of the way"

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

End notes:

Chuseok, also known as Korean Thanksgiving, is a major harvest festival celebrated in South Korea. It's a time for families to gather, pay respects to ancestors, and enjoy traditional foods. The holiday fosters gratitude, unity, and cultural heritage among Koreans.

Charye refers to a traditional Korean ritual conducted during important holidays such as Chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving) and Seollal (Lunar New Year). During charye, families pay respects to their ancestors by setting up an altar with food offerings and ancestral tablets. The ritual involves bowing, offering food and drinks, and expressing gratitude to ancestors for their blessings and protection. Charye is a significant cultural practice in Korea, emphasizing filial piety, family ties, and honoring ancestors' spirits.

Ulsan is a major industrial city in southeastern South Korea, known for its automotive and shipbuilding industries. It also features natural attractions like beaches and mountains, along with cultural events and festivals.

Songpyeon is a traditional Korean rice cake made during Chuseok, the Korean harvest festival. It's a type of tteok (rice cake) that's typically filled with sweet ingredients like sweetened sesame seeds, sweet red bean paste, or chestnut paste. The rice cakes are shaped into small half-moon shapes and steamed on a bed of pine needles, which impart a fragrant aroma.

Bulgogi is a classic Korean dish featuring thinly sliced beef marinated in a savory-sweet sauce. It's grilled or stir-fried until tender and caramelized, often served with rice and side dishes like lettuce leaves and kimchi.

Saengseon is a Korean term that simply means "fish." It can refer to various types of fish used in Korean cuisine, whether they are cooked, raw, or served in different styles such as grilled, fried, or steamed. In general, "saengseon" denotes the main ingredient of a dish fish.

Makgeolli is a traditional Korean alcoholic beverage made from fermented rice. It has a milky appearance and a slightly sweet and tangy flavor with a low alcohol content. Makgeolli is often enjoyed as a social drink, especially during festive occasions or gatherings with friends and family. It's known for its refreshing taste and smooth texture, and it's sometimes paired with savory snacks or spicy Korean dishes.

Marine Corps: The Republic of Korea Marine Corps (ROKMC) is a specialized branch of the South Korean military responsible for amphibious operations and maritime security. Established in 1949, it works closely with the South Korean Navy and is renowned for its rigorous training and readiness to respond to threats.

Daegu-hoe, also known as Daegu-style raw fish, is a regional specialty of Daegu, South Korea. It typically consists of fresh raw fish thinly sliced and served sashimi-style. The fish used in Daegu-hoe can vary but often includes local varieties such as flounder, sea bream, or rockfish. The slices of raw fish are arranged on a plate and served with various accompaniments such as wasabi, soy sauce, sliced garlic, and chili paste. It's a popular dish among locals and visitors alike, especially in coastal regions where fresh seafood is abundant.

Yakgwa is a traditional Korean sweet pastry made from wheat flour, honey, sesame oil, and ginger juice. The dough is deep-fried until golden brown and then soaked in a syrup made from honey, sugar, and water. Yakgwa is known for its delicate, chewy texture and sweet, aromatic flavor. It's often served as a dessert or snack during special occasions and holidays in Korea, such as weddings, birthdays, and Lunar New Year celebrations.

Hagwon is a Korean term that refers to private, after-school academies or institutions that offer supplementary education to students. These academies provide additional instruction in subjects such as mathematics, English, science, and the Korean language, aiming to supplement the regular curriculum taught in schools. Hagwons are popular in South Korea, where there is significant competition among students to excel academically. Many parents enroll their children in hagwons to help them improve their academic performance and gain an advantage in exams. Hagwons often operate outside of regular school hours, with classes held in the evenings and on weekends.

Military Manpower Administration: The MMA is responsible for overseeing military service matters in South Korea. They handle enlistment, deferments, exemptions, and other related administrative tasks.

Ministry of National Defense: The MND sets policies and regulations related to military service in South Korea. They work closely with the MMA to ensure the effective implementation of these policies.

South Korean Embassy or Consulate: A South Korean Embassy or Consulate is a diplomatic office representing South Korea in foreign countries. It provides consular services, issues visas, and promotes cultural and economic ties between South Korea and the host country.

[just-come-baek]

at your scarvice

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Jimin x OC (Jiwoo) and other BTS members as cameos

Themes: smut | comedy | ghost!au | haunted house!au | amateur ghost hunters!au | friends to lovers!au

Word count: 12.2k

Summary: “I’ve done a research about a haunted house which is like only one village away from Jiwoo’s parents’ house, and it would be awesome if we went there for a quick ghost hunt before the party. You can even bring all your cameras and shoot a Halloween special for your YouTube channel or whatever. You’re subscribers will love it, and besides, what could possibly go wrong?”

Prompt: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

Warnings: amateur ghost hunting | irresponsible usage of ghost hunting devices | mentions of brutal deaths | mentions of Jungkook being a YouTuber | plenty pop culture references | friendly bickering | main characters being idiots | occasional spooky stuff | penetrative sex | 

__________

Knock! Knock!

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked straightforwardly upon seeing me on the other side of the doors. As per usual, I smiled brightly, waiting for him to move aside, so I could feel myself home.

“I’m inviting myself in,” I answered, walking past him. “Tonight is a big day, and we gotta get ourselves ready,” I added and put two heavy shopping bags on the floor before plopping on the couch, catching my breath. “I planned the entire day, and we’re already far behind schedule. If it wasn’t for the traffic, I would be here about thirty minutes earlier.”

“It’s just a Halloween party,” Jungkook stated, and I rolled my eyes. “It’s no big deal; Jiwoo organizes one every year.”

“The party is just one of the things we’re gonna do,” I started, excited to tell him about everything I had meticulously planned. I was going to make sure he would never forget this night. “I’ve prepared a few surprises before the party.”

“Do I wanna know?” Jungkook asked, sitting in an armchair across from me.

“One thing at a time, okay?” I proposed, and Jungkook unwillingly complied; he had never been the one to fancy surprises, but he could make an exception for his best friend. “First thing on the list – re-watching the season 6 of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural while eating unhealthy snacks and having gin and tonic drinks,” I revealed, and Jungkook scrutinized me, making an ugly face.

“Are we talking postmortem, too?”

“I can’t believe you had to ask me that,” I answered, a little bit disappointed that he thought I’d skip this content. Never; it was too good to be ever skipped on.

“Sweet,” Jungkook exclaimed, jumping out of the armchair in excitement. “Why don’t you turn on the playlist, and I’ll go get us glasses and a bowl for the chips?”

Hurriedly, I logged into Jungkook’s computer and turned on YouTube.

“Which episode was your favorite?” Jungkook asked me as he sat on the couch beside me, setting the tableware on the coffee table next to the laptop.

“All of them were good. They’ve gathered a lot of evidence this season, but for me, the house call one was the best."

“It was dope, but my favorite is definitely the season finale,” Jungkook stated, and I couldn't disagree. All of the episodes were great, and it was impossible to choose the best one – objectively, at least. All of them were hilarious and spooky in their own way, and it was a delight to re-watch them again. “The marathon shall begin,” he added, pressing the play button.

“Finally.”

It was a very peaceful afternoon, and frankly, it was exactly what I needed after a couple of hectic days at the university. The professors were more demanding than usual, and a relaxing hangout was the perfect remedy to all the stress I had been put under.

Per each episode, Jungkook and I would have a drink and empty a bag of potato chips, occasionally bickering about how we would act in these haunted places. While we both considered ourselves shainiacs, it was quite obvious we would chicken out in the moment of strange, not necessarily supernatural, occurrence.

For the outsiders, Jungkook might have seemed to be a tough cookie, but in reality, he was just a big softie. I, on the other side, enjoyed horrors a bit too much; therefore, in the face of danger, I would laugh.

Probably.

One cannot be sure without actually witnessing a supernatural occurrence. Best case scenario – a full- body apparition. 

“You would totally run outside screaming,” Jungkook snickered when the ghoul boys’ spirit box picked up a bizarre voice. “You would lose your fucking mind.”

“I would let out a confused chuckle at best,” I fought back, but Jungkook wasn’t having any of this, throwing a potato chip at me, blowing a raspberry. “See, this is why Jiwoo doesn’t like you. You’re too childish.”

“What are you talking about? Jiwoo adores me,” Jungkook protested, and I couldn’t help myself but burst his little bubble of confidence and self-assurance. “I'm like... her best friend.”

“She only tolerates you because she has the biggest crush on Jimin,” I explained, and Jungkook gasped in disbelief. “What? You didn’t know?” I asked, confused because it was too obvious not to notice her infatuation. Only Jimin was too blind to see it, despite Jiwoo’s blatant flirting.

“Of course, I know. I’m not that stupid,” Jungkook answered, but I still thought he and Jimin shared one brain cell. “Too bad for her; Jimin's dumb.”

“I'm betting she's gonna make a move tonight,” I started, knowing the juicy gossip which would pique Jungkook's interest. “Jimin told me he's cosplaying as Fred from Scooby-Doo, and she's coincidentally dressing as Daphne. She's gonna be as subtle as a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”

“Weird way to put it, but I agree,” Jungkook answered, giggling adorably under his breath. “And where's your costume?” Jungkook asked, confused, as he finally noticed the lack of my spooky outfit. Our whole crew enjoyed Halloween too much to attend a party in basic all black clothes. “Jiwoo's not gonna let you in without one. You know it.”

“Relax; I'm going as the Nun from the Conjuring Universe. My costume's at Jiwoo's. I'm not parading in that hellish make-up, giving people heart attacks,” I elaborated, and Jungkook nodded, understanding my choice. Last year, I had been dressed as a very vivid horror character, and a few elders had got pretty spooked. I'm not going down that road again. “I've only got white face powder, three black eyeliners, and a set of black contact lenses on me. And check this out; all of it fitted into my new fanny pack. It's awesome, isn't it?” I showed it to Jungkook, and he grabbed it to investigate my new purchase.

“I've been trying to convince you to buy one for almost a year; what've changed your mind?” Jungkook asked suspiciously, remembering numerous rejections of his (in his opinion) well-argued propositions. In all honesty, I considered fanny packs a terrible accessory, but tonight it suited the occasion. It was more comfortable than a purse or a backpack, and surprisingly, it could fit more items than I had previously assumed. “You've also got a new phone case? It's awesome! Why didn't you get one for me, too?” He added in a whiny tone after inspecting my latest let's summon demons phone case.

“I'd say my fanny pack is going to be a Mystery Mousketool, but then I realized you know what the item is, and you don't know what it's going to be used for,” I started rumbling, and Jungkook looked at me in visible confusion. Perhaps, he had one drink too many to comprehend my twisted presentation. “All I'm saying now, it may come in handy if the second phase of my amazing plan goes a little bit off track,” I continued vaguely. Best friends or not, I couldn't straightforwardly confess that it would be easier for me to run for my life if the police would start chasing us for trespassing a haunted property.

“Whatever's going on your mind, I don't like it,” Jungkook muttered as my previous account must've triggered his spider-sense. “What are you plotting?”

“It's nothing, really,” I tried to dismiss the topic, but Jungkook wasn't having any of that; he wanted to know everything about my secret plan, and he wouldn't stop glaring at me until I'd tell him all the details. With this man, keeping a secret wasn't a possibility.

“Tell me, or else I'm not going anywhere,” Jungkook threatened, and Halloween or not, I knew he wasn't joking. For him, gaming all night was just as entertaining as attending a party; therefore, he didn't have any trouble choosing either one of them. At this point, the only thing I could do was to advertise my plan, making it irresistible. “I was planning on streaming this one game this week, and I might as well start doing it today,” Jungkook carried on with his nerdy shenanigans, letting me know it was my cue to change the subject, snowing him under a handful of promises of an adventurous unforgettable night.

“I've done a research about a haunted house which is like one village away from Jiwoo's parents' house, and it would be awesome if we went there for a quick ghost hunt before the party. You can even bring all your cameras and shoot a Halloween special for your YouTube channel or whatever. Your subscribers would love it, and besides, what could possibly go wrong?” I blurted out on one breath, hoping my sincerity was enough to convince him. “Pretty please?”

***

The bus to the village was about to leave at 17:06, and we had only ten minutes left to double-check our inventory: two go pro cameras, two old-fashioned flashlights, a legitimate spirit box (which Jungkook had been gifted two months ago on his birthday), an ouija board (which he gave me for my early birthday), and a spare bottle of booze if we sobered up before arriving at the location.

Due to traffic, our bus arrived a few minutes late, but we were in a great mood, so we didn’t mind it that much. If anything, we were even more excited, because it would be already getting dark upon our arrival.

“So tell me something about your research,” Jungkook started, as we found a couple of empty seats in the back row of the bus – finally we were the cool kids.

“OK, so check this out,” I started, sitting comfortably in my window seat, rubbing my hands together in ardor. “No one really knows how many ghosts haunt this place, yet according to previous owners’ accounts there are at least three ghosts roaming all around the house, and I have my theory about their identities,” I said with a mischievous smirk upon my face, waiting for Jungkook to compliment my well-done research.

“What’s your theory?” He inquired, already intrigued by the house’s story.

Even it was only my thesis.

“Finally, let’s go over some theories,” I said, quoting my favorite YouTube channel.

Whispering, I told him everything I had managed to dig out, successfully keeping Jungkook on the edge of his seat for the entire ride.

It was a mystery how many ghosts actually haunt this location, but according to the witnesses’ testimonies, old newspaper articles, and land registers, I was sure about three names. All of the three men were once residents, and all of them died tragically within the sinister four walls.

The unholy trinity of Kims – that’s the name of my theory.

The house was built in 1913 on an old rye field. It was a very amicable side of the village, and no one had expected the house could bring so much evil.

The first tenants moved in 1915, and though neither of them died, they reported they had witnessed strange happenings within the premises, beginning with the dog barking in the middle of the night at the darkness, ending with them hearing screeching sounds from under the walls.

One night, they stirred awake with their skin covered in scratches, and their dog breathing heavily, slowly bleeding to death. Needless to say, they moved out before the dawn, leaving all of their belongings behind.

While the majority of the locals believed it was witches’ revenge since the coven had been denied the premises, some of whom thought the family was mentally-ill and violent.

The house remained empty way until 1973 when Kim Seokjin moved in. Back in the time, he was a singer, slowly gaining popularity. Having signed the contract with an entertainment label, he bought a house as his own getaway when he needed a break from his demanding fans.

He would reside in the house a few times a year, only when he was desperate for a few moments of solitude. In late October 1974, he went for a short hiatus. Late evening, when he was relaxing with a glass of scotch, someone knocked on his doors, asking for someone – almost like in The Strangers.

Seokjin suspected the stranger was just a very sneaky fan and locked the person outside. The sole purpose of buying the property so far away from the city was precisely omitting situations like this.

Unfortunately for him, it was not a fan.

Later that night, a dozen of Satanists broke into Seokjin’s house, tied him up, and carried him straight to the basement where they performed a grim ritual. According to the police report released to the press, he was discovered lying on his back in the middle of a bloody pentagram, his intestines gutted out, his tongue cut out found in a golden goblet, and two paper knives sticking out of his eyeballs.

It is told that his ghost roams around the basement, leaving a bloody trace after him. Moreover, a young journalist, back in 1981, while doing research about satanic rituals, claims she had seen his ghost, resting in a rocking chair down in the basement, sipping a glass of alcohol. She even swore she could smell a mixture of whisky and blood in the air.

Unfortunately, she didn’t gather any evidence, later being called a lunatic by the disbelieving society.

The house waited for its new residents for twenty years – in August 1994, a newly wedded couple moved in right after their honeymoon. Kim Namjoon was a poet, teaching European literature on the university, while his wife, Kim Joori, was a sweet librarian.

At first, they didn’t notice anything strange. No weird noises, no unexpected guests, no cold spots, no nothing. Everything was peaceful until they decided to conduct a major renovation – it was then when the hell unleashed.

In 1996 they decided to start trying for a baby, and though they both fancied the old décor of the house, it was evident it wasn’t a safe space for a child. While they were thrilled to upgrade the property, providing their newborn with safety, the entities which lived inside were not.

Joori was the one who started experiencing supernatural happenings; she only worked three times a week, and the majority of her time, she spent alone at home. During these late hours, she thought her mind was playing tricks on her. At first, she justified it with stress and a shitload of work regarding the renovation, but then, the occurrences she had witnessed couldn’t be explained with logic.

Joori wanted to sell the property and move out, yet Namjoon would always dismiss her pleas. It wasn’t until November 1996 when Joori, who was already three months pregnant, and Namjoon had a big fight. She gave him an ultimatum, and when Namjoon chose the house over her, she moved out.

A few collective nights after Joori’s departure, Namjoon would sit by the newly rebuilt fireplace and drink into oblivion. It was the first time he noticed peculiar activity in the house, yet he blamed the alcohol for it.

Slowly, day after day, Namjoon would lose his mind. It started off with strange whispers. The voice in his head, or so he thought, begged him to call Joori and bring her back, yet his pride would always stop after pressing the 6th digit of her parents’ landline.

Then it was tugs; from time to time, Namjoon would feel his shirt being tugged. It was challenging to explain with logic, but he opted for blaming the trauma for making him delusional. Namjoon would rather believe his brain was slowly frying itself than accept the supernatural entities.

At some point, he also started hearing distant giggles within the house and seeing shadows passing between walls, but the last straw that broke the camel’s neck was definitely his book of poems flying across the room, landing in the middle of the carpet, and then shredding into pieces right in front of his eyes. While a lot of events could be blamed on the strong drafts of wind or poor timely construction of the house, some things he witnessed were unexplainable.

Shortly after the incident, the entity residing in the house became violent – it wanted Namjoon away, and since he wasn’t going to leave like his wife, there was another way of getting rid of him.

Namjoon wanted to leave the house, reach out to Joori and start anew with her and their baby.

However, he never did.

On a Christmas morning, Joori paid him a visit and the things she witnessed traumatized her for life.

Namjoon’s suitcase was neatly packed, waiting by the doors to be picked up. The house was spotless, except for Namjoon’s study.

Walls were painted red with blood, Namjoon’s body dismembered – pieces of his body parts scattered all over the floor. Only his head was in scarless, resting on top of his desk, right next to his ripped poetry book.

No signs of forced entry, no motive, no evidence.

The police obviously closed the case, but Joori never felt at peace, still believing it was the entity that killed her husband.

And now, finally, the third Kim.

Kim Taehyung.

Not that long time ago, in 2007, the land was purchased by happy-go-lucky Kim Taehyung. At that time, Taehyung was only 19. He bought the house with his inheritance. Ever since little, he was very family-orientated, and when he had a chance to purchase a property, he didn’t hesitate.

Just like former residents, Taehyung didn’t sense anything odd; the omnipresent feeling of darkness came with time. However, even then, Taehyung would dismiss all the strange occurrences happening inside the house.

He had never been one to get scared easily, so a round of floor creaking or cold spots didn’t really impress him.

On the 17th of April, his girlfriend, Chanmi, slept over for the first time, and it was chilling.

According to her testimony, after their steamy sex session, she felt as if being watched. Later on that night, when they were sleeping, cuddling under the sheets, she heard distinctive steps downstairs.

Frightened, suspecting it was a burglar, she shook Taehyung awake, yet the moment he opened his eyes, the noise stopped. Complete undisturbed silence. To Taehyung, Chanmi seemed paranoid (and not accustomed to new surroundings), but he loved her dearly and checked the house, calming her.

Although Taehyung didn’t find anything, Chanmi already knew she didn’t feel welcomed – ever since that night, she made sure they would hang out at her place. Whatever it was that she sensed – it was pure evil.

On the 23rd of June, they had a big fight, and when Chanmi came over the next day to makeup, Taehyung was already gone.

His body was discovered in the bathroom on the second floor – he was lying in the bathtub, sharp pieces of mirror protruding from his wounded body.

Chanmi screamed and fell onto her knees.

But it wasn’t the worst thing about that day – the moment she started sobbing, Taehyung’s head tilted to the side, looked at her with his dead eyes, and in a throaty voice, he growled her name.

In a matter of seconds, Chanmi got back on her feet and bolted out of the house, swearing to herself that she’d never ever return there.

Though the police suspected a murder, deep down, Chanmi knew it was the evil’s doing. She never bothered mentioning that in her official statement, knowing the cops wouldn’t believe her.

Ever since Taehyung’s tragic death, the residence belongs to the city. Despite multiple proposals, it has never been sold.

And now, it’s our cue to investigate these haunted premises.

“You’re shitting me right now, aren’t you?” Jungkook asked me, probably both crept out and impressed. My research was thorough and off-putting at once, and I was sure it partially discouraged him from participating in the exploration.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve read that shit about the house, and you still wanna go there? What’s wrong with you? Only a psychopath can enjoy doing shit like that,” Jungkook argued, and I couldn’t find an answer right away.

I loved horror films and scary stories, mostly because I loved discrediting them and finding flaws in the storylines, and right now, I was about to do the same, but my subject was a real thing.

I didn’t have huge expectations – it was more than probable that we wouldn’t find anything, yet at the same time, it would be pretty dope to witness something strange. Jungkook shouldn’t be that worried – in the worst (best) scenario, we would get spooked by another team of amateur ghost hunters.

“Come on, Kook, grow a pair,” I started, trying to take our conversation on a less pressing level. It was just a silly ghost hunting gig, yet Jungkook sounded serious, almost as if we were going through the pros and cons of keeping a baby. “Ghost ain’t real; the scariest thing inside that house it probably bats,” I reasoned, and Jungkook agreed with a sigh.

“I guess you’re right,” Jungkook said, finally manning up for the mission. “Let’s get this shit over with,” he added when the vehicle stopped at our bus stop.

***

“So… what do you think?” I inquired when the murder house was within our eyesight; the building was spacious, and it really stood out amongst the other residences – no one could miss it. From quite a distance, you could see there was something evil about it, even the fence around the property was installed upside down, supposedly to lock the supernatural entities inside.

“It doesn’t look very welcoming if you ask me,” Jungkook started, scratching the back of his head, probably trying to come up with a good excuse to call it a day and just head over to Jiwoo’s party. “Just by the look of it, I can tell there’s something wrong about it,” he added, and I hummed in agreement.

“Are your spider-senses tingling again?” I asked, and Jungkook elbowed me lightly, not enjoying my teasing. “But for real now. Should we take a few selfies before going in?” I proposed, and Jungkook eagerly agreed, as if prolonging the inevitable reconnaissance.

Carefully, Jungkook wrapped his arm around my frame and snapped a few pictures with his phone, making sure the haunted house was standing proudly in the background. Then, he took another series of photos with my camera.

“If we’re seriously going in there, I think I need an intro for my Halloween special video, don’t you think?” Jungkook announced, pulling out his go-pro camera. After giving me a quick instruction, we started rolling.

At first, he reported what we were doing, but then, he started talking about the new segment of his channel, and my brain just froze. Although I respected his passion for gaming, I completely lost focus whenever he started blabbering about it. But honestly, I thought it was healthy for our friendship. We had a lot of things in common, yet it was a blessing to be different at some point. Whenever one of us felt a bit overwhelmed, we could engage in independent activities. For Jungkook, it was gaming – I’d never try crashing his nerdy party.

“I think we got it,” I announced when Jungkook’s mouth stopped barfing gaming jargon. “Let’s go inside.”

“Fine, but keep it in mind that if I die, I’m going to haunt your ass,” Jungkook stated, and I laughed. Right… as if this cinnamon roll could ever haunt anything.

“Puh-lease,” I retorted, trying to refrain myself from giggling. “If anything bad happened to you, you would be Kookie – the friendly ghost,” I finished, and Jungkook whined quietly, not fancying my opinion.

“Shut up,” Jungkook barked, pulling out the second fancy camera. If he were to step into that hellhole, he would gear himself up from head to toe, getting ready to catch the ghost on tape. “Let’s go in before I change my mind,” he added, as he effortlessly jumped over the fence.

“Will you help me? Not everyone has legs for days,” I mumbled as I extended my arms, so Jungkook could support me when I made my way through the first obstacle. “Thanks,” I quickly said when Jungkook grabbed me, and carefully put me on the ground.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’ve got a sexy pair of legs,” Jungkook complimented me, and though in other circumstances I’d blush, this time I ignored it, focusing on the vibration I felt in the butt pocket of my jeans.

The second I put my foot on the unholy soil, weird shit started happening.

Interesting.

My first thought was that I got a text message on my phone, but then it struck me that I always had my phone on silent mode. Quickly, I checked my cell phone, and it turned out that Siri turned itself on.

“What can I help you with?”

The device turned itself on again, but this time in my hand, when I didn’t push any buttons.

“It’s not a good sign,” Jungkook commented, and I started to second guess the brilliance behind my ingenious plan. “It’s not too late to turn around and leave. I won’t be disappointed if you chicken out,” he carried on, but I just grinned at him. There was no way I’d wimp out.

“Nice try; we’re going in,” I prompted, confidently walking toward the main entrance, Jungkook following behind me, probably shooting the surroundings.

As soon as we stepped onto the porch, the wood would start to creak underneath the pressure. Just like everything about the house, it gave off that creepy vibe.

“Showtime,” I whispered under my breath as I extended my hand and grabbed the knob. Just as expected, it was locked.

“Well… it looks like another sign to me. Let’s go back,” Jungkook spoke, trying once again to convince me to back out.

“Get a grip; we’re going in,” I ordered, and Jungkook sighed, regretting that he couldn’t say no to me. “I’m picking the lock; Betty in Riverdale does it all the time, it can’t be that difficult,” I muttered, reaching into my new fanny pack for a bobby pin.

“Are you for real? Since when anything they do in Riverdale makes any sense to you?” Jungkook wondered, but I just rolled my eyes, ignoring his mean comments. “You’re not opening that lock,” he added, making my blood boil. In times of crisis, Jungkook wasn’t very supportive.

“Just shut up, I almost got it,” I barked, sticking my tongue out, adjusting myself to my ultimate focus form, ignoring Jungkook and his shenanigans. Not only he showed me no support, but also he pulled out the small bottle of booze and took a gulp, without proposing me some.

“Just deal with it. We won’t get inside,” Jungkook teased again, pissing me off, and then leaning in, literally breathing on my neck.

“I really hate you right now,” I yelled at him as I straightened up, dropping my bobby pin in the process. “It was my only one,” I whined, kicking in doors in frustration, and to my surprise, it swung wide open.

“Ladies first?” Jungkook murmured, smiling sheepishly, moving aside.

“How gentlemanly of you,” I tsked, turning on the flashlight before entering the building. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to edit your video, deceiving people into thinking you’re a real macho man,” I complained, inspecting the foyer.

Nothing out of the ordinary. For now.

“I’ve got chills,” I stated matter-of-factly when the silence inside the house started to bother me. Though I didn’t believe in ghosts, for some stupid reasons, my heart rate quickened. I felt uneasy, and when I heard my voice echo across the room, I felt less crept out. “Which room should we check out first?”

“When I listened to you on the bus, all of them sounded awful,” Jungkook honestly answered while shedding some light around the living room. “If got rid of all the dust, it’d look pretty comfy,” he added, and I snorted, not expecting him to give me such a nonchalant comment.

Unfortunately, it seemed I was the jittery one.

Well… fuck.

“How about we check out Ouija board in Namjoon’s study,” I proposed, and Jungkook hummed in agreement.

“Maybe there’s still some blood left. You said it was pretty messy,” Jungkook added in excitement, making me wonder how the hell he did a 180 so fast. Not even two minutes ago, he acted like an adorable sacredly cat, but right now, he seemed confident enough to roundhouse kick all the demons back to hell.

“I doubt so, but it’s worth checking,” I answered, and we both headed to the east wing of the house, navigating toward Namjoon’s office. “It may sound ridiculous, but I’m getting horny,” I confessed, and Jungkook stopped in his tracks, gawking at me, not expecting such revelation.

“I knew you wouldn’t resist my manly charms,” Jungkook murmured cockily, wiggling his eyebrow suggestively. “I knew you would fall for me eventually.”

“Right… I’d rather believe a sex demon just possessed me,” I retorted, and for some reason, Jungkook didn’t find it funny. Come on, it was hilarious! “OK, I guess you’re kinda hot right now,” I gave in, unwillingly stroking his ego.

Not my fault, he was just irresistible.

“I knew it,” Jungkook cheered right before when we finally found the right room. This was it – the first space to be “properly” investigated.

Putting the flashlights on the desk, we set the Ouija board on the floor, sitting across from each other.

“Do you know how to use it?” Jungkook inquired, and I smiled sheepishly, telling him I knew bits and pieces, though I had absolutely no idea if my knowledge was legit since it all was based on multiple horror films I had seen. “I’ll check it online,” he proposed and pulled out his phone, quickly typing his inquiry into Google’s search tab. “Whoa, the signal here is no joke; I have a better connection than I have at my apartment. How expensive is this house again?”

“You’re really dumb, you know…”

“You love me regardless, so I don’t really care,” Jungkook absentmindedly replied while browsing through the answers. “OK, it’s easy.”

Briefly, Jungkook explained the ceremony. Apparently, the horror movies didn’t get everything wrong.

Unfortunately, the spirits inside Namjoon’s study weren’t chatty – during our session, they only edged the planchette toward the numbers 9 and 4 (the date of Namjoon’s settlement), yet I didn’t put much thought to it. Jungkook was probably moving it to scare me, and I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction.

“You know what? It’s not as exciting as I thought it would,” I started when we were collecting our stuff, getting ready to explore another room. For the majority of the time, nothing was happening. We were sitting just sitting in darkness, waiting for something to give us a real spook.

Later, we headed towards the second floor. The stairs were creaking as we made our way up, but we didn’t pay much attention to it, being too focused on locating the bathroom to actually think about basic safety.

The bathroom looked terrifying; the tiles inside were dirty, the original color already fading. The facilities were covered in rust and probably making a lot of unnecessary noises.

“Give me your flashlight,” Jungkook ordered as he put both torches on the edge of the bathtub, one of which switched on. “If there’s something that wants to communicate with us, turn the right one on, and turn off the left one,” Jungkook spoke loudly, waiting for the lights to change, and after some time one did.

“It was definitely a ghost,” I exclaimed in fake dread, bursting out laughing a second later. “It’s solid evidence; it’s confirmed – ghosts are real,” I added, and Jungkook joined me, chuckling adorably. “You can’t change my mind.”

“If it’s you, Taehyung, tell us what happened to you,” Jungkook carried on, and I grew silent, waiting for the ghost to reach out to us. “We don’t want to hurt you; we just want to know the truth. Who killed you?”

Silence.

“Come on, Taehyung. We don’t have all night; we’ve got places to be,” I urged the ghost in a taunting manner, hoping for something to finally happen. With each passing second, our expedition seemed more and more disappointing, and though I didn’t believe in ghosts, I’d really liked to be proven wrong.

“You’re weak sauce, Taehyung!” Jungkook mocked, reaching for the flashlights, wanting to explore another active part of the house – the basement. “You had your chance, Taehyung, and you blew it.”

We quickly left the bathroom and headed to the basement, yet just before we entered the room, I hesitated.

“Maybe we should investigate the basement individually,” I proposed, and Jungkook bit the inner side of his cheek, pondering over my suggestion.

“Fine, let’s do this,” Jungkook agreed with a sigh. “Do you want me to go first?”

“Whatever.” I shrugged, and Jungkook pulled out the spirit box, a little bit excited to use it for the first time. “Go get ’em, tiger.” I patted Jungkook on the back, and closed the doors behind him. “You’ve got ten minutes.”

The stairs creaked when Jungkook was walking down. For a while, it was oddly silent, but then I heard the loud white noise, and I knew Jungkook finally turned the device on.

While he was down there, I roamed around the ground floor, taking a few extra selfies. Unfortunately, regardless of the flashlight, it was still dark as fuck, and I was sure none of the taken photos were Instagram-worthy.

Ten minutes passed, yet Jungkook still didn’t get out.

“You can come out now,” I shouted, but I got no reply from Jungkook.

This fucker was messing with me. I knew him too well not to understand what he was trying to do. However, I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. He wanted to scare me shitless, but he would never succeed.

Confidently, I swung the doors open and made my way downstairs.

“Have you found anything?” I asked when I noticed Jungkook standing in the corner of the room, facing the walls.

“Nope, it was boring as fuck.”

“OK, it’s my turn. Give me the spirit box,” I spoke eagerly, waiting for Jungkook to give me the gear. He survived the individual session with ghosts, so there was nothing to be afraid of. If ghouls didn’t eat Jungkook’s cute butt, I doubted they would be after mine.

“Good luck,” Jungkook murmured and leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss against my forehead before running upstairs.

OK. What the fuck?

With a slam, I was left alone in the basement, and frankly, right now, I didn’t give two shits about ghosts. What the fuck was that? Jungkook and I never showed any affection for one another. The most intimate interaction we had ever had was elbowing each other.

We didn’t kiss.

Never.

Not even an indirect kiss.

All the wires in my brain were frying. A whole army of ghosts might’ve jumped out of nowhere, and I wouldn’t give two shits about them. What the hell was Jungkook’s deal? Why did he do that?

Regardless of how much I desired to find evidence on ghosts, right now, my mind wasn’t in the right place. Thoughts of Jungkook, of how much I tried to not act on my attraction toward him, how I wanted him to make a move – they completely took over my sanity.

A full-body apparition might’ve as well started reciting Great Gatsby, and I wouldn’t notice it probably.

Trying to leave that horrifying train of thoughts, I shook my head. I needed to get a grip. Tonight was about ghosts, not about Jungkook.

Promptly, I turned on the spirit box, starling at how loud it roared to life.

Except for one beam of light coming out of my flashlight, it was entirely dark, and the white noise emitted by the device made the scene even more terrifying. I would undoubtedly faint if I didn’t like this dreadful atmosphere.

“Is anyone here?” I asked and looked around – everything seemed ordinary. Well… as ordinary as an abandoned house’s basement could be.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

“What the fuck was that?” I jerked my head to the side, staring at the device in my hand. It sounded like a male voice, yet I couldn’t quite comprehend the words. “Can you repeat that? You have to speak more clearly,” I spoke, refraining from face-palming myself.

What the hell was I thinking, talking to ghosts?

I must’ve really lost my mind.

“Behind.”

Once again, I jerked my head, furrowing my eyebrows. It really sounded like the word behind, so obviously, I turned around, checking if there’s something, in fact, behind me.

There wasn’t.

“I have to hear more than just one word,” I declared, focusing on the noise, ready to pick up another message. For a long while, the white noise was ringing in my ears, but then I heard something which sounded like my name.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

Jungkook’s gonna love my footage, I wondered upon hearing these strange noises. Maybe it is not groundbreaking evidence, but it surely will be thrilling to watch. Jungkook’s followers will love the new content.

“You find me.”

“Oh my God, this is awesome,” I cheered enthusiastically, and though I was having the time of my life, it was time to take the fun to the next level. “Who am I talking to? What’s your name?”

“Kim.”

“That was an instant answer,” I commented, feeling goosebumps on my skin.

Much to my dismay, it was the last coherent response I got; I sat there alone in the darkness and received only a few unintelligible reads. So much for ghost hunting… I thought, ready to leave the basement.

Checking the time on my phone, I realized I had two more minutes, and though it was pointless to reach out to ghosts at this point, I decided to record my useless commentary. Maybe Jungkook would use my witty monologue as a part of his YouTube clip, or if not, he’d have a good laugh when analyzing all the footage from this night.

“So… I’ve been sitting in the darkness for a while, and no ghost dared to give me a spook. It’s such a disappointment, really. These ghosts here are real wimps; I lured Jungkook inside this basement, and this may come as a big shocker to everyone, but nothing really happened to him –“

[BANG!]

Quickly, I turned my head around, trying to locate the source of the strange noise; it sounded as if it was coming from under the stairs, yet I quickly dismissed the disturbance – it must’ve been a rat or something.

Clearly, it wasn’t a ghost.

“As I was saying… this house is a complete bummer. When we first arrived, the house looked really nerve-racking, but when we actually started exploring it, it let us down. Honestly, the scariest part of this expedition probably was when Jungkook failed to prank me.”

“Your time is up,” having opened the doors, Jungkook hollered. “I’m going down there,” he added, and I turned around, giving Jungkook a chance to record my grand exit on tape.

“I’m getting outta here, ghosts. You are a bunch of wimps!”

“Did you just seriously mock the ghosts?” Jungkook asked, giggling adorably.

“Why not? It’s not like they’re going to kill me for calling them out.”

“Should we leave now? I’d stay for a little longer and recorded some weird random shit. What do you think?”

“It’s definitely gonna piss these ghosts, so I am in.”

At first, Jungkook insisted I record him dance a few Fortnite choreographies, and though I had no clue what he was doing, I kept the camera rolling. Then, I turned music on my phone, and we jammed to old K-POP hits like Super Junior’s Bonamana, SHINEE’s Lucifer, f(x)’s Electric Shock, and many others.

Then Jungkook made me record his beatbox performance, and it was torture. However, there was a silver lining – it helped me determine whether ghosts were real or not. The answer was no – no one would endure it.

And if it wasn’t for my crush on him, I’d definitely not endure it either.

Later that evening, Jungkook gave a short instruction video on how to defend oneself with basic taekwondo moves, and then we thumb-wrestled.

“You know what would really piss the ghosts off?” Jungkook inquired, and I wondered what else his one brain cell came up with since I highly doubted if it could get any dumber than it already had.

“I don’t know… what else would really piss the ghosts off?” I answered, having no idea what we could do to outdo ourselves. Everything that we had done for the past hour was already offensive as fuck.

“Isn’t it absolutely the worst when you’re in a public place, minding your business when you walk past a couple making out right in front of you?”

“It is absolutely the worst, but how is it any relevant?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow in confusion. Jungkook was right, making out openly in public was rude, and obnoxious, and one of my biggest pet peeves, yet I highly doubted the ghosts had the same hierarchy of irritating situations. They’re dead, and they can haunt people without any consequences – that’s pretty dope itself, and I just couldn’t understand why it would be their top bête noire.

“Well… it’s not completely irrelevant, and besides, ever since you’ve mentioned you’re horny, I really wanted to kiss you,” Jungkook confessed, and my jaw dropped at the revelation. Jungkook wanted to do what!?

“Well… you just played yourself,” I stated, and Jungkook creased his forehead in confusion. “Is that a confession you’ve just recorded? I bet you want to record our kiss, too. That’s kinky, and weirdly enough, it turns me on a little bit,” I finished my thought, and then Jungkook smiled widely at me, figuratively lighting up the rundown basement which we were still in.

“Well… now you just really have to kiss me,” Jungkook retorted, and I smiled mischievously, curious of how he’s going to play his cards now, “unless you want me to show your parents a video of you confessing to your kinks.”

“Well… you should’ve waited a little bit longer, maybe I would’ve named all the other kinks I’m into,” I challenged, biting my bottom lip seductively. “If you really want our first kiss to be in this shabby, totally not haunted basement, then go for it,” I consented, waiting for him to approach me and knock the air out of my lungs with a world-shattering kiss.

“It’s not perfect, it’s not exactly what you deserve, but it will be a hell of a story to tell our grandchildren one day. Don’t you think?”

“I think you’re getting a little bit ahead of yourself,” I retorted, chuckling. Jungkook was acting ridiculous, and it was adorable. With his cute smile and firm butt, he could get away with anything. “Just kiss me, you idiot.”

At first, I expected him to say something cringe-worthy like m’lady or alrighty, but thankfully, I was wrong. With one long stride, Jungkook approached me, resting his large hand on my hips before leaning in to kiss me.

The kiss was sensual and soft, and the way I had always imagined. Gently, Jungkook pressed his plump lips against mine, and we just moved, basking in pleasure. His hand was roaming over my back and butt, whereas mine was going through his silky hair, tousling it.

Gradually, it grew in passion. Jungkook pulled me closer against him, and I opened my mouth, inviting his tongue. Though it was only one kiss, it was quickly making me thirsty for more.

It felt blissful, yet it came to an abrupt stop when we heard a loud bang upstairs.

“Well… you were right, it obviously pissed someone off,” I whispered, chuckling.

“What do you think it was?” Jungkook asked, concerned about the strange noise. “It sounded as if someone just slammed the doors shut,” Jungkook stated, and I quickly agreed with him.

“But we left the doors closed, didn’t we?” I wondered, trying to remember our previous actions. Neither one of us was perfectly sober, yet I was pretty sure we did close the doors. “OMG, this is awesome! It was probably another group of adrenaline-seeking people! We could give them the spook of their life if we jumped out of the basement,” I explained, and I was sure I wasn’t perfectly sober right now either.

“It was probably the wind, but okay, let’s do this,” although knowing it was a stupid idea, Jungkook agreed to conduct my improvised prank.

Carefully, we made our way upstairs, yet when we jumped out of our hideaway, there was nobody there.

“Stupid wind,” I murmured under my breath, really bummed out by this whole situation. “Fuck you, you stupid house. You’ve wasted our time,” I hollered at nothing in particular as I approached the doors and pulled the knob. “Jungkook, it won’t open,” I announced, taking a step to the side, letting Jungkook’s strength to let us out.

Seriously, what kind of an estate agent would try to sell this house without repairing it first? At this point, only people from these HGTV shows would consider buying it, so they could later sell it with real profit.

At first, the doors didn’t want to budge either, but then he handed me his camera and roundhouse-kicked the doors open.

Whoever locked the doors, be it the wind, the ghost, or anyone else, Jungkook’s thick thighs were more powerful.

“Let’s get out of here,” Jungkook said as he grabbed my hand and led me outside, leaving the creepy though definitely not haunted house behind us.

***

Although the navigation system on my phone estimated our route to take us forty-five minutes on foot, Jungkook and I made that distance under half an hour. The house was creepy, but we were already late for Jiwoo’s party, and we didn’t want to face her wrath.

She had called me three times, and Jungkook and I lived in a universe where three missed calls from Jiwoo were more terrifying than fifty from mom.

When we reached Jiwoo’s house, we tried knocking on the doors, but unfortunately for us, everybody was already in a good mood. They couldn’t hear the knocks due to loud music, and I couldn’t be angry – it was our punishment for arriving so late.

Thankfully, when we walked the house around, the patio doors were open, so we got inside.

The house was packed with people, yet I was familiar with only a few of them – the majority of guests were Jiwoo’s college friends, and I haven’t yet acquainted them. In the kitchen, I saw Mario and Luigi, and I instantly knew it was Yoongi and Hoseok. Each year they have adorable couple costumes.

“Look who’s finally showed up,” I heard a loud voice from over the stairs, leading to the second floor. It was Daphne, closely followed by Fred.

“I guess Daphne and Fred just checked the bedroom,” I told Jungkook, and he chuckled, getting the reference. “I hope they didn’t find any ghosts.”

“I bet Scooby and Shaggy are already eaten by the ghost in the basement,” Jungkook carried on, and we both started to laugh.

“Your costumes are in my bedroom, but before you change, I have to feed us some jello shots,” Jiwoo started, making us follow her to the kitchen. “In which bushes were you two fucking, so you came so late?” She questioned, but Jungkook and I didn’t know how to reply. Jiwoo was unpredictable – she would either scold us for going to that house without her, or just shout at us for being reckless and irresponsible, but I guess it was her role in our friend circle.

She was the mom friend.

“We weren’t fucking,” I protested quickly, trying to buy us some time to get a better excuse for our late arrival. “If we were indeed fucking, we would be here before anyone else,” I joked, yet Jungkook didn’t find it particularly funny.

It didn’t worry me, though. Jungkook and I dissed each other daily, he wasn’t going to pout. If anything, he was plotting how to get his revenge.

“Well… true,” Jiwoo replied as she high-fived me. “Don’t worry, Kookie. I’m just messing with you,” she added, and I nodded, knowing she was extra mean to impress Jimin. Retorts weren’t her strongest suit, but so far, it was okay.

Jiwoo distributed the jello shots among the four of us, and to my surprise, they weren’t as strong as I had expected them to be. She had made them, and it came to me as a shock, then the proportions weren’t fifty-fifty.

“Oh my God, I just noticed you both have matching costumes. What a coincidence!” Jungkook hollered, faking his surprise, taking  revenge on Jiwoo.

“What can I say? Great minds think alike,” Jiwoo quickly retorted before Jungkook managed to embarrass her in front of her crush.

“Some things are just meant to be,” Jimin added, draping his arm over Jiwoo’s shoulder, making me and Jungkook gag. What the hell had we missed?!

We had totally wasted our time in that haunted house – we could have been here, watching their relationship develop in front of our eyes! Though I had no regrets after reaming around that disappointing trip to that house, now I had one regret. I was genuinely upset that I missed witnessing how the line between their friendship and love faded away.

“OK, you know what? Go upstairs and change. You disgust me without your costumes on,” Jiwoo ordered, shooing us upstairs.

Obediently, we headed to her bedroom, finding our costumes on her bed.

“I’m so tired,” I announced as I plopped down onto her bed, wanting to get some rest. The march from one location to another was more exhausting than I had initially thought, and my legs were killing me.

“Well… it’s all your fault, I told to we should call an Uber,” Jungkook replied, lying on the bed next to me. “No slacking,” Jungkook hollered, playfully slapping my butt. “If we don’t get downstairs in a few minutes, Jiwoo’s gonna bust in here and complain how we ruin her party.”

“True,” I agreed, and with a loud groan, I stood up to get changed. “And that reminds me. You’ve never told me what you’re dressing as this year,” I spoke, wondering what was inside the bag which was sitting next to my costume.

“I didn’t have time to come up with anything, so I asked Jimin to lend me his costume from last year. He was Jack Sparrow or something,” he explained, and I watched him unpacking the bag.

“Or something it is,” I started when I saw what his costume consisted of. It was basically a deep-cut white shirt, a pair of tight leather trousers, and a hat. “Good luck with fitting into it,” I snickered, wondering how uncomfortable it’s going to look like on his powerful thighs.

“Why don’t you shut up,” Jungkook said, not pleased with my commentary.

In silence, we got dressed, and since my costume wasn’t revealing, I could quickly put it on my clothes, which gave me plenty of time to gawk at Jungkook.

“I feel like a piece of meat, right now,” Jungkook commented, as he caught me staring at him, zipping his trousers. “Can you stop staring at me like that? I’m a person with feelings, not a sex toy.”

“Now you know how all girls in clubs feel,” I retorted and continued to stare at him shamelessly. Right now, I only needed a bucket of popcorn and a few bills which I could put under the hem of his pants.

“Aren’t you going to put that creepy make-up?”

“I was going to, but I don’t have energy nor patience to do that,” I answered lazily, watching him button his shirt. “Besides, I checked myself in the mirror, and I’m rocking that Mary-Eunice look right now,” I added, and Jungkook agreed, approving my American Horror Story costume.

“You know what? Even when you wear that ridiculous nun costume, I would still fuck you,” Jungkook blatantly confessed, and I giggled, not knowing how to react to this odd compliment. “I really must be wrapped around your little finger. You even made me go to that abandoned house.”

“You make me blush,” I admitted shyly before approaching him. Then, standing on my toes, I pecked his lips innocently. “We better go downstairs, Jiwoo must be furious at us for taking so long,” I added, exiting the room, leaving Jungkook speechless behind me.

Though at first, we were too tired to party hard, Jimin and Jiwoo engaged us in a few drinking games, and I was thankful I managed to bullshit myself out of playing truth and dare with them.

I realized what Jiwoo would make me do or confess, and I’d rather Jungkook find it out in different, more private, circumstances.

Around three a.m., people slowly started to get tired, one by one heading upstairs to either fuck each other’s brains out or simply find an empty bed to sleep in. At that time, Jungkook and I were chilling in the kitchen, munching on the food which other guests had the courtesy of leaving.

“We should go on a date on Saturday,” Jungkook proposed, and I looked him in the eyes, nodding my head. “What do you want to do on our first date?” He asked, leaning against the countertop next to me.

“Is there any chance you’re wearing this outfit on our first date?” I asked, and Jungkook quickly shook his head. I teased him all night about this outfit, and by now, he must’ve dreamed about taking it off at least a dozen times. Best case scenario: taking it off right in front of already naked me.

“Nope, stare at me while you still can,” Jungkook said, and I didn’t dare to question his decision. Though he looked like a snack, I respected his choice. He wasn’t going to wear it again, and I wasn’t going to force him. Besides, I was kind of curious about how he looked naked. “So… what do you want to do on Saturday? Bowling? A candlelight supper? Cinema?”

“I was gonna say that anything is fine as long as it’s with you, but would you really prepare a candlelight supper for me?” I questioned, quite amazed by his proposition. Jungkook rarely cooked himself, and even if he happened to whip something up in the kitchen, it would be ramen or something just as easy to make.

“Of course, anything,” Jungkook promised, and I tried my very best right not to kiss him. “It probably won’t be any tasty, but at least, I made it with my hands.”

Oh, screw it.

Instantly, I pulled him closer, smashing my lips against his. The moment he realized what I was doing, he reciprocated the kiss.

“I don’t really care,” I spoke, wrapping my legs around his hips. “Oh, shit,” I cursed upon noticing Jiwoo and pushed Jungkook away.

“I think everybody’s asleep already, what are you guys still doing here?” She asked, eyeing the both of us.

“Nothing, we were just eating,” I stated, though Jiwoo didn’t fully believe in my innocent reply. “What have you been up to? Your green scarf is gone, and you have a hickey on your neck. Have you had fun with Jimin?” I inquired, and she looked away in embarrassment.

Jiwoo had never been to shy away, but she didn’t act like herself around Jimin. When with him, she became a better person, and right now, she was blushing. It was the first time when I saw her behaving like that, and I liked it.

With Jimin by her side, Jiwoo was slowly turning in the best version of herself, and the transition was crystal clear. Even Jungkook wouldn’t miss it.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow; right now, I just want to clean up and go to bed,” Jiwoo said, and I knew it was our cue to live. I didn’t like cleaning, and I knew Jiwoo wouldn’t appreciate my help. She would prefer Jimin’s assistance. “You’re sleeping in the guest room with Yoongi and Hoseok.”

“Thanks,” I replied, and we slowly headed to the guest room, knowing that Jimin would shortly join Jiwoo. They thought they were subtle, but they really weren’t. One look was enough, and Jungkook and I knew everything.

“I hope Yoongi and Hoseok already fucked each other,” Jungkook stated before we entered our room, and I agreed. I wouldn’t like to walk on them fucking. I just wanted to lie down and get some sleep.

***

On Friday, I focused only on myself. I needed to recover fully after a long night of drinking, but also, I wanted to pamper myself a little bit before my date with Jungkook. I was sure he was going to prepare everything to perfection, like the golden boy he has always been, and it only made sense that his girlfriend (me) also ought to be perfect.

I took a long, relaxing bath, I wore a face mask, I ate plenty of fruit, I planned my next week of college, I even turned on the relatively new drama with Ji Changwook, and whipped up a mug of cocoa with marshmallows.

The day was peaceful, and I cherished every second of it before I had to face reality and go to classes on Monday.

In the evening, I even chatted with Jiwoo, listening to a few newest rumors. I didn’t expect her to have any time to spare, but apparently, to her, gossip was more important than her new boyfriend. Good thing she had her priorities set straight.

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | omg you won’t believe it!

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | I know why Seulgi and Irene didn’t come

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | apparently

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | they were on a date yesterday!

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:22 | Chanyeol told Jimin that Jongin were their Uber driver and he took them to a fancy restaurant

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:22 | I was gonna get really mad

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:23 | but I ship them so hard

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:23 | I mean…

That crazy Capricorn girl |17:23 | fucking finally

Jiwoo wasn’t ashamed of double texting, obviously. If she had gossip to deliver, she would spam anyone until she would get a reply, and frankly, it never upset me. Mostly because I was texting the same way.

Me | 17:25 | told you

Me | 17:25| I knew they had hots for each other

Me | 17:26 | you should be glad they didn’t come

Me | 17:26 | they probably fucked all night long

Me | 17:27 | that would be gross if they did it at your place

Me | 17:27 | it’s enough that Jungkook and I walked on Yoongi and Hoseok

Me | 17:28 | if it was my house I’d kick them out

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:30 | they did what????

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:31 | are you kidding me???

That crazy Capricorn girl |17:31 | so Jimin lied to me

Me | 17:32 | wow

Me | 17:32 | you started dating and he’s already lying

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:33 | Jimin told me they behaved well

Me | 17:34 | pls don’t make a scene

Me | 17:35 | you better let them taste their own medicine

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:35 | I knew I shouldn’t have invited them

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:35 | they’re cute but also horny af

With Jiwoo, when we started texting, we didn’t know how to stop. Topics would come and go, and we would always come up with something new. This night wasn’t any different. When we discussed everyone’s behavior during the party, late changing the subject to the people who couldn’t make it. Then, we would exchange messages about the newest K-POP hits, scandals, and dramas. Sometimes, we would even send memes to one another.

Usually, we would continue our conversation until one of us was tired and went to sleep, but tonight a bizarre text from Jungkook made me finish.

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:41 | come over

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:41 | now

Well… rude.

We didn’t even go on our first date yet, and he treated me like a booty call.

No, it couldn’t be.

Me | 21:42 | what do you mean???

Me | 21:42 | Jeon Jungkook

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:42 | get your juicy ass over here

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:43 | asap

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:43 | you need to see something

What the hell did he want? Couldn’t he wait until tomorrow to meet me? If he wanted to see me, he could just text me like he a regular person. He didn’t have to act like an asshole about it.

Me | 21:45 | fine

Me | 21:45 | I’ll be in thrity

Me | 21:46 | if it’s your dick that I need to see you’re dead

***

Within thirty minutes, I was at Jungkook’s apartment, breathing heavily. His flat was located on the fourth floor, and the elevator was out of order, and whenever I had to take the stairs, I could feel blood on my tongue.

It wouldn’t hurt me that much to tag along once in a while to the gym with Kook. Well… hopefully.

“What’s the emergency?” I asked instantly when Jungkook swung the doors open. “Jungkook, I swear, if it’s a booty call, I’m gonna be pissed,” I warned him when Jungkook grabbed my wrist and yanked me inside.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Jungkook reassured me as he led me to his bedroom.

Well… he might’ve said it wasn’t a booty call, yet his actions were giving me a totally different message. He was literally dragging me to his bedroom.

“What is going on?” I asked once again, as he made me sit in his gaming chair.

“So… I was editing the footage we recorded at this creepy house, and I found some weird shit,” he started before he leaned against the desk, looking for the right file to show me. “I watched every frame of these tapes, and there’s something seriously wrong with your individual session in the basement.”

“What do you mean by wrong? Can you be more specific? I didn’t feel nor see anything weird when I was down there,” I said, cocking my eyebrows up in utter confusion. Was there something my eye didn’t catch, but the camera did?

“Well… there is like a shadow lingering above you,” Jungkook confessed, and I fought the urge to laugh into his face. It was a shadow, and shadows do linger. “You don’t seem convinced, so why don’t you see for yourself?”

“Ugh, fine,” I answered, focusing on the screen.

I couldn’t believe my own eyes. Jungkook was right. It lasted for a couple of seconds; there was an irregular black specter behind me, and it couldn’t be my shadow – I was perfectly still while it moved for a while, and then disappeared.

It was terrifying.

“I’m speechless.”

Seeing my reaction, Jungkook sat on the edge of the desk and grabbed my hand.

“I know it looks like something supernatural, but I’m pretty sure it can be explained somehow. Don’t worry; all fellow ghost hunters would discredit this evidence in seconds.”

“I’m not worried; I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it’s not worry,” I spoke, still a little shook about the discovery. “Did you find anything else when editing?” I inquired, wondering if Jungkook had more aces up his sleeve.

“Nothing solid,” he declared with a sigh. “I was listening to the messages picked up by the spirit box, and one statement which you assumed unintelligible sounds like not alone, but once again, it’s not perfectly clear. It’s probably just my mind interpreting the white noise.”

“Too bad ghosts ain’t real. If we caught it on tape, we would be millionaires,” I confessed, and Jungkook nodded.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think we’ve gathered a lot of entertaining footage; my viewers are going to love it. It’s probably the dumbest video I’ve ever recorded,” Jungkook spoke, and I started to grin.

He was right – we were a great duo.

“Glad, I could help,” I answered proudly, boasting about my recording skills. Having tooted my own horn for an inappropriate amount of time, I inquired, “Since I’m already here, what do you want to do?”

“How about we cuddle?” Jungkook proposed, plopping on his bed, waiting for me to join him, and since his proposition was irresistible, I obediently lay down beside him, resting my head on his firm chest. “Mm… it’s so comfy,” Jungkook purred as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“Have you decided where you’re taking me tomorrow?” I inquired, curious as hell about our date. Knowing Jungkook and how perfect he was at everything he did, I could only guess he would exceed my wildest expectations.

“How is it gonna sound if I tell you I’ve already had it planned out for a while?” Jungkook confessed, and I giggled when he started to press delicate kisses across my neck. It was ticklish, but I liked being teased like that.

“Is there a chance you tell me? You know I hate surprises,” I spoke, turning around on my side, caressing Jungkook’s chest and abs. Jungkook smiled adorably and shook his head. Damn it. “Is there a chance I can guess it?” I tried a different approach, but Jungkook shook his head once again.

“You’ll find out tomorrow,” Jungkook said, and I pouted.

“Is there a chance I can convince you to tell me now?” I challenged him, and before he managed to shake his head again, I sat astride on his muscular thighs, making him speechless. “You can tell me. I can pretend I’m surprised tomorrow,” I urged him, playfully moving my hips against his crotch. Curiosity was in my nature, and Jungkook was really getting under my skin with his stubbornness.

“You’re cute when you’re frustrated,” Jungkook stated before he effortlessly flipped us over, pinning me down to the mattress. “I’d love to push you to your limits, but I’m not ruining the surprise.”

“Come on, Jungkook. You can tell me. We’re best friends, and we don’t keep secrets from each other,” I carelessly mumbled until Jungkook shut me up with a passionate kiss, reminding me that we no longer were just best friends.

With my eyes closed, I gave in entirely, letting Jungkook’s hands roam all over my body. Our mouths moved in sweet harmony while my body writhed beneath him every time his little touches set my skin on fire.

This moment was magical, and I wished every time with Jungkook to be just as good. His smooth and soft movements made my body respond, leaving me breathless and craving for me whenever it lost contact with his hands.

“I really want to fuck you right now,” Jungkook absentmindedly confessed while he was pressing sensual kisses along my chin. “We should wait, shouldn’t we?” I inquired, and I wanted to shout my objection.

Judging by his boner digging into my thigh, he also wanted me to oppose.

“You should’ve thought about it before you kissed me like that,” I replied, and Jungkook smirked, tugging my blouse out of my jeans, slipping his large hands on my bare stomach, slowly making his way up to my breasts. “It’s too late to go back, lover boy,” I added, undoing the buttons of my blouse.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“Drop dead,” I corrected him, and Jungkook hummed in agreement, his eyes focused on my cleavage, wondering how my breasts bounce. Arching my back, I wrapped my hands around Jungkook’s hips, pressing them against me, making me feel his throbbing cock.

“You won’t be a good girl, will you?” Jungkook asked me, and I bit my lip, shaking my head, hoping he expected such an answer. “Of course, you won’t. Why did I even ask?” Jungkook smirked, playfully nibbling my delicate skin all over my cleavage, while his hand undid the button of my jeans.

“You always assume the worst when it comes to me,” I reminded him, tugging the hem of his T-shirt, wanting to get rid of it. It wasn’t fair – I was almost half-naked while Jungkook was still fully-clothed. “Take it off, I’m losing my patience,” I ordered, and Jungkook quickly pulled his T-shirt over his head, tossing in on the floor. “Jeans, too,” I added, and with an angry growl, Jungkook stood up and discarded his pants as well.

“Happy?” Jungkook asked, standing in front of me only in a pair of boxers.

“Over the moon,” I retorted, and Jungkook smirked as a playful idea crossed his mind. “What are you thinking about?” I questioned uncertainly, but Jungkook didn’t bother to reply. He just leaned forward, slid his fingers under the hem of my jeans, and pulled them down in one fluid motion.

“You make me impatient,” he confessed, and I kneeled on the bed, waiting for him to join me again. I needed him to kiss every inch of my body.

Right now.

“Come here,” I urged him, and he obediently sat on the bed, allowing me to sit astride on him again. “I wanna fuck you like this,” I blurted out, entwining my fingers behind Jungkook’s neck, pulling him closer into another heated kiss.

“I want you to fuck me like this,” Jungkook whispered when we finally parted. “Just jump on it and ride me until I come,” he said before reaching to his night stand for a condom. “Roll it down for me, will you?”

Obediently, I pulled Jungkook’s boxers down, and smeared the pre-cum all over his thick cock before putting a condom.

“I wanted it for so long,” Jungkook whispered when I raised my hips, slowly getting seated on his length. Though Jungkook didn’t go down on me before I took his cock, I didn’t mind it. It stung a little, but I enjoyed this sensation.

“Fuck yeah,” I moaned when I slid down his length all the way to the base. For a short while, neither of us moved, letting one another get used to it. “You stretch me up so fine,” I muttered, gently rolling my hips.

“Move, princess,” Jungkook urged me, and I began to ride him. At first, my actions were delicate and a little shy, but as soon as I relaxed, I picked up the pace, rocking my hips back and forth, making Jungkook moan loudly.

“I love it when men are vocal,” I confessed when I put my hands in his hair, tugging it slightly when I happened to fall out of my rhythm. “It gets me off much faster,” I added, and as if I challenged him, Jungkook moaned again.

“Good to know; now I gotta use this information to my advantage,” Jungkook whimpered with a soft smirk upon his face. “You love hearing my deep moans, don’t you?” Jungkook asked, and I replied in a heartbeat.

“Yes!” I exclaimed when Jungkook began thrusting his hips from underneath, shoving his cock deeper and deeper inside of me. “Ahh… Jung-Jungkook, keep fucking me like that, please, don’t stop,” I begged, and Jungkook even increased his pace, quickly making me overwhelmed in pleasure.

“Your pussy feels so good,” Jungkook started, and I closed my eyes, feeling my orgasm approaching. With a couple of thrusts, I would come around his pulsating cock, and I couldn’t wait to welcome this blissful feeling. “So tight, yet you take my fat cock so well,” he praised, and I pulled his hair when he made me come.

“Fuck, Jungkook, that was amazing,” I praised him, and Jungkook kept ramming his dick inside of me, chasing his own release. His stamina was no joke, and I was feeling lucky because this incredible man was mine.

“Shit, shit, shit, I’m coming.” Shortly after me, Jungkook reached his orgasm, milking the condom with his jizz. “You’re out of this world,” Jungkook whispered before he wrapped his arms around me tightly, kissing me deeply.

We were both sticky with sweat, and we smelled like sex, but right now, I couldn’t care any less. Jungkook and I were floating in heaven.

“We should do it again in the morning,” Jungkook proposed, and I laughed, realizing it was the first time in my life I was actually excited to wake up early.

Unfortunately, our plans fell through.

Before my arrival, Jungkook had uploaded our Halloween clip into his YouTube channel, and then, Jimin forwarded it to Jiwoo.

Needless to say, Jiwoo blew up my inbox with notifications, furious at me and Jungkook for doing something so reckless shit without her supervision. Once again, she was the mom friend, and going into an abandoned house without her knowing was pure evil.

Thankfully, she didn’t hold a grudge for a long time – she grew pretty soft on us as soon as she discovered Jungkook and I were well… dating.

[pacifv]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.

[yououghtaknow]

5, 29 and 30? Also, I read all four seasons of Skam Brighton over quarantine and it was fantastic! The changed storylines were so refreshing and I’m so excited for season 5 💛

hi!!!!! thank you so much for asking and thank you so much for reading <3.

29. which version (og + adapts) does yours most closely resemble?

hmm. well i would say skam austin, definitely, as a western english speaking remake. also with the dance team/theatre club vibes and the music aspect. also skam españa, definitely, with the centring of the girls' stories and just the beautiful friendship tone of it all, which is what i really wanted to get across. also some druck in there, with the realism and fixing the trans wrongs they did. and alistair fletcher has the drama of skam france, just as a character. what do these remakes all have in common? canon wlw. which was the main thing i wanted to write in this remake. skambr has 11 canon named wlw characters who have all played major-to-minor roles in the plot of each season, with 5 of them being members of the girl squad and three of them being mains and having wildly different experiences with their attraction to women because you can’t sum up the lgbt experience with just one person.

30. free choice! just give us some fun facts about it!

fun fact: i have never physically been in brighton. i would like to be one day, but i will most likely not get there before the series finishes.

second fun fact: i was originally planning to write a skam remake set in derry, northern ireland before i wrote skam brighton. that idea has morphed into something else that i plan to write, but it is a fun fact!!

and now. the big one.

5. what are some iconic soundtrack moments?

here we go lads, seasons 3 and 4, like promised.

season three

tw for discussion of mental illness and suicide, drug abuse and violence throughout.

trailer

WE START OFF!!!! WITH A BANGER!!! "tainted love" by soft cell. it’s an iconic 80s banger that we all know and love, about a toxic relationship, and we see a type of favourite character that is niche to me (the guy with perfectionism/parental issues who did some fucked up stuff in a piece of media who not a lot of people like). it’s jake baby. it’s about him living his life and being like “i feel like i have to run away from all of this” (a sentiment which shall be echoed later on). and jake with all of his different masks…….. i was ahead of my time.

episode one

we open with “say amen (saturday night)” by panic! at the disco which is. kind of yikes now, but the song does have the vibes i desired for the opening scene. a party-esque banger. lyrics like “i pray for the wicked on the weekend / mama, can i get another amen?” for the catholic imagery and mommy issues. also panic! is known throughout history to be an lgbt band. 

then we get “get out of my head” by redlight”, just for the mental illness of it all. also it has been said that i do love a good party song with deeply depressing lyrics about the main playing in the background <3. 

and then we get me ripping off druck with “idontwannabeyouanymore” by the theorist playing because i just wanted to use a piano cover of the song because silence with just instrumental is just very dynamic and mentally ill. 

and then we meet eleanor with “insane” by sonny fodera and biscits, which is basically just the lyrics “girl you make me go insane” because. well. you hate to see it folks, but we gotta foreshadow the internalised ableism and the hating one woman as a treat.

and to close off a very music filled first clip, we got “drive” by halsey, a staple of tumblr culture back in the day because it is just like “all we do is think about the feelings that we hide”. literally when you are gay and alone and are just so desperate for someone to see you but also so deeply afraid of it because that means change coming <3 

AND THEN!!!! we meet the love of my life ms christine love as she hums “express yourself” by madonna as she cleans the house. i wanted to give christine a lot of 80s music in her scenes, to show that she’s living in the past in regards to jake’s dad. also it’s just a good song, “you gotta make him express how he feels” is me writing any of the characters having dialogue.

AND THEN BABY!!!!!!!!!!! we get a moment i love so deeply. “mama who bore me/reprise” by the sweet signatures. an all female acapella cover of the iconic spring awakening song. this song has everything - heavy metaphor about sex, wanting your mum to tell you shit, catholic imagery, teen angst, amazing belting. we get the slow part as jake is alone and just trying to work out how to help his mum, and then get the ANGRY BANGER as jake goes out to play with his dogs to get his frustrations out, because at the end of the say, all of these characters are still kids <3

then we get “young (club mix) by jaded because i just wanted kind of boring straight party music for the bryan and rory scene. 

BECAUSE THEN LGBT COMMUNITY!!!!! we get jake’s dramatic walk down the hallway as “somebody to love” by queen plays. it’s about the catholicism, it’s about the being gay, it’s about the being so fucking lonely and just wanting somebody!!!!! also the parallel between jake’s lonely scene with “somebody” playing and liz’s crowded scene with “nobody” playing…. it’s about mentally ill people being different but also the same <3

AND. NOW. THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. we meet Him. the most valid theatre kid rep in the world. mr alistair thomas fletcher, who enters our lives singing “shallow” from a star is born under his breath as he washing his hands. once again, i’m ahead of my time. but also the first lines al sings are, metaphorically, him talking to jake. like “aren’t you tried trying to fill that void / or do you need more”. and then we begin a piece of foreshadowing most pleasing to me. alistair in season 3 and the recurring motif of falling, which will climax at the end of episode 10. also foreshadowing of his experiences with bipolar disorder with “in all the good times i find myself longing for change / and in the bad times i fear myself”. and we also begin the motif of jake interrupting al’s singing. 

(you may be thinking, isaac tumblr user nickhealy, you’re putting a lot of thought into this. that’s because out of all of the characters, al’s the one who never really expresses himself with his words or actions - he usually expresses himself primarily through music, which is a very fun and autistic thing of me to write.)

(also, the og episode 1 bench scene did make me feel very. not good as a gay trans guy, with all the talk of penises and such. it’s just very sexy of me to change it to al talking loudly about ballet and elton john. and then we get jake up on the balcony and al down yelling up at him. because i have literally never referenced anything subtly in my life)

and we end with “how does it feel” by m-22. like: “how does it feel when your walls fall down /  how does it feel when you're lost and found / how does it feel / it's the sweetest sound”. like it’s about jake meeting al, king of not being Good At Social, fletcher, and instantly being like “yes, husband material, thank you”.

episode two

(yes, this episode is titled after the gay hsm song. yes i’m a genius)

we open, as all good things do, with a fun homoerotic punk song with catholic imagery “east jesus nowhere” by green day. it’s just jake being like “i am Trying to find the instagram of a cute guy outside of church, love being a sinner”.

and now we see the beginnings of Sad Boy Jake, with “it’s ok, i wouldn’t remember me either” by crywank. we got “i am looking for an easy place / to mask my thoughts behind my face” and “i can hide from friends but i cannot hide from you” because he’s gay and he has depression. 

AND THEN!!!! we get “i like you” by dandelion hands playing as he comments supportive things on the youtube video of al….. literally jacob love will see a pretty boy one time and be like “last time i had you i should have kissed you”. also his alternate name being jack valentine…. valentine and love ugh my brain is so big

AND THEN!!!!!!! slow mo time, with “bite” by troye sivan…… a gay classic, if i do say so. like it’s about jake seeing al casually walk past, being all prententious and out, and jake’s just like “please set me free and let me walk beside you” because of the gay experience of simutaneously wanting to be a person and kiss them.

and then we get “the daisy chain” by the growlers. “feeling pressure on every side” and “tired of waiting to be explained / weakest link in the daisy chain”. it’s just the vibes babe.

AND THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! a brilliant moment in my bare a pop opera stanning career - we get jake watching a bootleg of bare 2004 as “role of a lifetime” from the show plays. literally one of the most gorgeous songs ever written, sung by matt doyle. like everything is an act when you’re pleasing everyone - which could be the tagline of skam brighton as a whole. also jake watching “see me” and beginning to tear up because he’s afraid to come out to his mother and get the same negative reaction….. and him watching “cross” and sobbing because he relates to jason so much and feels like he would also be better off dead than gay….. 

BUT AFTER THAT!!! we smash cut to al as jeremy in be more chill, singing the beginning of “more than survive”. absolute king shit!!!!! also, i don’t remember if it’s mentioned in canon, but eleanor is the person who plays the squip in this production of bmc, because i am not!! subtle!! with!! my!! metaphors!! 

and we return to sad boy jacob with “swear to god the devil made me do it” by the front bottoms, chosen because references to the devil and mommy issues <3

AND THEN!!!! A MOMENT OF GREAT FORESHADOWING!!! we get mister alistair fletcher practising alone in a theatre because he is dramatic, and jake walking in as he sings “broadway here i come” from smash. we got references to saints, we got hints at al’s anxiety, we got the falling motif coming back in a song explicitly about jumping off of a building, that also doubles as a song about wanting to do theatre….. also, al plays the last note wrong as a metaphor for al’s plan of suicide going well until the very end, where he ends up alive and goes home.

(side note, we also got the football team’s jackets and signature colours being black and white (straight pride flag colours babey) and then we see al in bright yellow. it also represents jake’s depression and al’s mania, the everything and the nothing of it all.)

AND THEN!!!! we get manic (in the most literal sense of the word) pixie dream boy al asking jake to dance with him to “movement” by hozier because. it’s literally just such a beautiful song. and jake is just watching al dance like “hm. no thoughts head empty just pretty boy”. also the scene itself is a reference to wicked, with jake doing an awkward and stilted dance and al taking it and turning it into something graceful (the glinda and elphie scene in dancing through life)

and then we get the return of blue neighbourhood with “youth” by troye sivan playing over a smoking montage with the boys, because they’re young, they’re gay, they’re vibing

AND THEN!!!! we get “talk” by hozier playing as the episode ends - a song that of course references orpheus and eurydice, as al also did in this clip with hadestown. it also plays over ellie talking because jake is just Ignoring her to pay attention to al. also the inherent homoeroticism of making eye contact while hozier plays

episode three

we open with “highway to hell” by ac/dc over a fun football montage of jake both playing the game and getting bored and checking out guys. it’s about the thinking he’s gonna go to hell for doing it but he literally Cannot Stop

AND THEN!!!!!! a moment. we get a performance of some of “all you wanna do” from six by al and ellie and their theatre kid friends as they rehearse for something at lunch and jake, bryan and rory watch them. ellie’s doing the whole flirty k howard thing, and not actually getting into the real feeling of the song, and the guy she’s dancing with it awkward as all fuck because he’s her cousin. so we get al stepping in and fucking going the fuck off. and we see how good of an actor al really is in this scene, as he’s legit scary. we also see ellie clearly having feelings towards al and him just being like “yep good acting! moving on!!!” because no thoughts just dance. also bryan and rory not understanding that the song is about assault and jake being genuinely concerned….. and then al and ellie’s kiss at the end as ellie “dies”..... god the real reason this show isn’t made is because i would be too powerful if i could make everyone see my theatre kid mischief.

AND ANOTHER MOMENT!!!! we get “like a prayer” by madonna playing as jake is living his life and taking some “am i gay” quizzes - the questions of which are comprised of actual am i gay quizzes i took to make the scene as legit as possible, and as a gay trans person. Did Not Like. Would Not Recommend. also jake admitting he’s gay to the quiz because he’s pissed about the concept of misgendering al….. also jake forcing himself to pick the straight options even though it’s emotionally hurting him…. and then we hear christine singing in the hallway “everyone must stand alone” because it’s jake pov at the time…..

AND SMASH CUT TO!!! fall out boy’s cover of “i wanna dance with somebody”, because at the last very gay house party “i wanna dance with somebody” played and i love a good parallel

AND THEN!!!!!! literally the hottest of all hot boy summer things, we get al and esther doing some karaoke at the house party with “don’t you want me” by the human league. (which, yes, is a glee reference.) THE LITERAL COURAGE OF THIS MAN!!!! alistair fletcher looked a closeted guy, who he has had three (3) interactions with in person, dead in the eye and was like “i know you want me”. as opposed to esther “just be her friend first and then see about anything else” montner and james “I Will Never Speak To You Again If You So Wish” cohen.

and then, because of course i did, we get “bad romance” by lady gaga playing over the next scene with the beginnings of the boy squad because it’s a gay house party and it’s a fucking banger for the ages

(also just the shift from al hot boy summer fletcher to al gay disaster fletcher with him running literally out of the house because he kissed a guy.)

“left handed kisses” by andrew bird and fiona apple plays after jake and al’s deep conversation outside. like jake’s really out here like “i don't believe everything happens for a reason” and “i don't go in for your star-crossed lovers / in the heart of a skeptic / there's a question that still hovers near” because al info dumped about his love for adaptation of romeo and juliet…. (side note, al is definitely an & juliet stan, as everyone should be, stream & juliet <3)

episode four

we open with a song i discovered when i was in a community theatre rip off version of cats, “the show” by lenka. it’s about a song about indecision in the middle of a church before confession, because jake can’t actually confess to the sins he believes to be true. it’s about the “'cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot to be something i'm not”.

And then we fade to “pink + white” by frank ocean (because mlm rights), and just like “you showed me love / glory from above / good glory, dear / it's all downhill from here” is a very al/jake line. also it’s a bop for a little football montage.

AND THEN!!!! on halloween, we get a little montage of jake dancing to “paradise by the dashboard light” by meatloaf as he makes himself a sandwich - it’s literally about just being happy and having a nice time. and also jake dancing to more old timey music because he’s going up to his parents’ old room and he’s also living in the past a little, with his childish snack and playful dancing.

(also, the phone call where al just infodumps about bare and jake’s listening and asking questions <3 it’s about the autistic love and friendship yet again)

and then we get “i’m so tired…” by lauv and troye sivan as we arrive at the very awkward ellie/jake/al pre drink, because Is Jake Not So Tired Of This Heterosexual Bullshit He Must Do.

(also, it is my personal headcanon, and therefore canon, that al convinced ellie to go with the angel and devil costumes so that he could pull up in his leo-as-romeo get up and live out his baz luhrmann esque fantasy).

AND THEN LGBT NATION!!!! we get “run away with me” by ms crj as jake and al literally run away from the party after al got misgendered and Pissed. it’s about the using romance and whimsy as an escapism from your shitty life, it’s about the being the in darkness and occasionally getting hit by the street light, it’s about the “i’ll be your sinner in secret”, it’s about the bare connotation with the “run away with me” parallels. it’s also about the song being one of the best songs ever written.

(and then we get the wedding, which, before i get into the song, is a reference to So Many Things. we got west side story with the fake wedding and first kiss, we got hadestown with al making the wedding rings from nature (a la wedding song), we got bare with wedding bells and the dream wedding, and in the scene, we get some vineyard scene from spring awakening vibes, with the discussion of the future and religion and philosophy…… quite literally i love art so much)

and then. ladies. a piece of writing written in Peak tender tumblr. al and jake have the kiss of their wedding to “pink in the night” by mitski. it’s literally about the “i know i kissed you before but / i didn’t do it right / can i try again?” of it all. like jake love voice “i glow pink in the night in my room / i’ve been blossoming alone over you”. the repression, the pining…………. i am such a talented man.

and then we end with a doctor who reference, with al saying “run”, taking jake’s hand and the two of them running out of the church as “run away with me” comes back in. it’s literally about al taking jake out of his dull life and helping him find his own happiness. it’s also about the inherent autistic culture of relating to aliens.

episode five

WE! OPEN! WITH! a song about being gay and falling in love with someone immediately after meeting them - “share your address” by ben platt. a bop for the ages. it makes me so happy, it’s a great “early stages of a relationship honeymoon stage” montage song.

(also, i just really love the detail i put in about al’s binder, because the cuddle scene with david and matteo in druck did make me worried because david was wearing his binder. like i understand why he wore it for the actor’s comfort but just the thought of sleeping in a binder…… terrible. awful. pain beyond my wildest dreams.)

(also also, al saying he couldn’t get on hormones because of “problems with his heart” is a lie, because he means because of his mental health, which is based on personal experience babey)

and then we get an iconic skam song: “talk show host” by radiohead plays as jake sits in the back of a drama club meeting, isolating himself. it’s literally about the “i want to be someone else or i’ll explode” of it all. 

and then we get “rock and roll” by led zeppelin as jake walks his dogs - just because it seems like the kind of song jake would like and it just vibed with the whole scene.

(also, the clip where jake texts al at the beginning of it and then asks bree about her family….. literally i’m so good at foreshadowing)

AND THEN!!!!! WE GET THE ICONIC!!! “involuntary teenage rebel” by clout from grandma’s closet plays as we get a jake solo slow mo. literally they were right when they said “they say i'm a teenage rebel / but i'm really just afraid of how i come across to others / and it bothers me when i look weak”. like that’s just another skam statement line babey. also it’s genuinely such a good song and literally helped inspire me to do more songwriting…. stream it 

and then we get “heaven” by avicii, chosen purely for the title being “heaven” because christianity centric season.

AND THEN!!!!! we get jake asking al to come save him from the shitty party, and al says “wait for me, i’m coming”, an obvious hadestown reference, and when he arrives, he’s singing the “la la la la la la la”s from the show. it’s because the party - where bryan, rory and ellie are - is, in al’s mind, hell, and he’s going to save jake from it. 

and then, because, as mentioned, the way al express his true feelings is through Music, we get al trying to comfort jake by playing him a song - “you matter to me” from waitress (put a pin in waitress, i’ll get back to it later). the inherent homosexuality in “come out of hiding i’m right here beside you / and i’ll stay there as long as you’ll let me”. also it’s just about mattering to someone. like, for the first time in his life, jake has someone who’s saying “i love you, you matter, i will be here for you” and he just needed that So Much. 

episode six

AND WE SMASH CUT IMMEDIATELY TO!!! “london boy” by taylor swift, a campy and beautiful bop!!!! because al Is from london and he Is a boy!!! (also, fun fact, i was going to make al be from ireland originally, but then someone in the skambr discord said this song should be used in a scene, and i was like “okay, fuck it, london time”)

(also, you can subtly see al’s mania in the london boy scene, with him coming up with quick ideas, clearly having very low anxiety through the past few episodes, and just taking off his shoes and going for a walk in a park in november…..)

and then we get “landslide” by fleetwood mac as jake lies in his dead dad’s bed. it’s really about the “can the child within my heart rise above? / can i sail through the changing ocean tides?” and about the grieving as a child and your mental health getting worse while you’re still so young and you feel like the world’s on your shoulders and you’re both an adult and a child at once……

and then……. we get “class of 2013” by mitski after christine has her breakdown and jake packs his things to run away. it’s about both of them dealing with their grief by pretending it never happened and having all of that build up inside of them until they can’t take it anymore. And i see the lyrics of “mom i’m tired / can i sleep in your house tonight?” in this specific situation as jake being tired of his father’s constant presence and he just wants to be in a house with his mother the way he remembered her before his father died. 

(and, sidenote, this is one of the saddest scenes i’ve ever written, in my opinion…...with jake being like “she’s so crazy, but i’m nothing like her” because he’s in denial of his own mental health issues and al seeing him saying that as “oh, he’ll see that i’m crazy too and want to leave”...... and al says his final goodbye to jake, using his full name, because he assumes jake will never want to speak to him again, but jake has no idea……..)

(also, jake parroting bryan’s words of “gay marriage is legal, so everything is fine” in the pride clip……. God. and the way jake’s internalised homophobia and ableism manifests in the same harmful way….)

and then we get “don’t threaten me with a good time” by panic! At the disco as they boy squad rolls up to the party in the park. it’s just a party song. no deeper meaning lads.

and then we get jake in the bathroom having a little breakdown (as a treat) to “Give me novacaine” by green day. it’s just about the using alcohol and drugs to cope with your poor mental health because you have no other quick way to make it all better. It’s about about jake trying both to numb himself and to force himself to feel something, but neither one of those things give him the results he wants.

episode seven

we open with another iconic and beautiful song: “life in italics” by clout from grandma’s closet babey. like jake love voice “all these troubles on my mind i’ve been lonely / building walls running from the old me”. thank you clout for literally writing some of the best lgbt music. 

AND THEN!!!!!!! a scene that brings me much joy. “gotta go my own way” from high school musical 2 plays in the other room as jake has a religious breakdown in a literal (storage) closet. and then al leaves the group chat and blocks jake…. like jake voice “another colour turns to grey / and it's just too hard to watch it all / slowly fade away”

and then we get “hello!” by role model as jake goes for a depressed jog and he sees bree out drinking with some random people. like “i never really talk much, keep it inside / to find someone who cares is getting harder to find / we should be dancing in the sun / it's hard when everything is numb”.

(also, at the end of that clip, we briefly shift from jake’s pov to al’s, as we see al filming in the park and he films jake running away…… do i know what this means metaphorically? not really. do i vibe hard with it? oh hell yeah)

AND THEN!!!! after jake and sandy have their beautiful conversation, we get “under pressure” by queen and david bowie, another older song, this time expressing jake’s joy as he finds some small solace with his younger self. it’s also just about the inherent homosexuality of the song and of sitting on the beach, eating chips with your best friend.

episode eight

WE BEGIN!!!! with a youtube video of ellie and al singing “wallflower” from we are the tigers. i chose this basically because i wanted to get more of a vibe of what their relationship is/was across, and also because i love the song (stream we are the tigers original off broadway cast recording). it’s also about the dynamic of the song being “shy introvert vs outgoing extrovert being very toxic friends”, and also about the ellie supporting al stuff, because she has canonically been there for him for years, just not in a very good way. also i wanted to write representation for the “had a very intense friendship with a girl pre-transition and then had a dramatic friend break up and now i’m a guy and feel disconnected from the whole thing, although it was quite homoerotic at the time” people. this scene also marked the beginning of my purely self indulgent musical number scenes, and be warned, this may the the first, but it is by no means the last.

and then it’s very music lite for the rest of the episode, until al returns, and jake’s like “hey, maybe you should stop talking to your toxic friend” and al responds by beginning to make out with him as “fuck time” by green day starts to play. the COMEDY of jake being like “seriously, i think--” and then all you hear is “OOH BABY BABY IT’S FUCK TIME”. skam brighton is a comedy show.

and then we get al “communicates through music and theatre references” fletcher beginning to sign the ASL translation of the bridge of “word of your body (reprise)” from spring awakening with jake - which is another Very tragic show - and al also literally says the line “and so you should”. and al responding to jake jokingly calling him insane by shutting him up with another kiss….. oh ladies.

episode nine

WE! OPEN! WITH! “love shack” by the b-52s as jake wakes up and sees james and al just having some Fun making breakfast in the kitchen. it’s just some boys being boys and having bants.

and then we get jake using al’s love language of music and singing “those magic changes” from grease, singing along to the jordan fisher and aaron tveit version because that song did assist in my gay awakening.

(also, al stanning female doctor pomatter in waitress and james stanning waitress as someone from an abusive household….. my mind.)

and now. we begin The Big Bad Clip. “why didn’t you stop me” by mitski plays over the beginning of jake and al’s london adventure. it’s literally about looking back on the scene as it happens in a montage and al being like “why didn’t you stop me from doing that”..... god.

(also, jake and al go to see waitress, which Has been played before, and it’s foreshadowing for how their relationship ends. jenna and jim’s relationship - the main couple of waitress - begins with them cheating on their parents and falling in love quickly in secret, but they know it’s not healthy for them to keep the relationship going, so agree to end things and part ways as friends who wish nothing but the best for each other.)

and then we get “oops! I did it again” by britney spears glee cast version, because it’s just really Sexy and Fun. also just the mentally ill experience of “oops! i did a manic episode again!”.

and then we cut between a piano version of “last night on earth” by green day, as jake sits alone in the hotel room, and “true trans soul rebel” by against me! as al walks down the streets of london, in a split pov, and then we see al having a full meltdown/breakdown in the middle of victoria station. like al voice in this scene “another night you wish you could forge, / making yourself up as you go along / who’s gonna take you home tonight? / does god bless your transsexual heart?”.

and then we get legit “last night on earth” by green day as jake walks away after ellie yells at him. just because it vibes so much.

episode ten

we open with “mystery of love” by sufjan stevens as jake walks down to al’s house, because it’s just a vibey song, and while i hate cmb//yn with the fury of a thousand suns, it Is a song written for mlm.

and then we get “better alone” by lykke li as jake researches al’s various diagnoses. and it’s just like “nobody wants to be the one to walk away / nobody wants to see the truth, then let it in, run away / nobody wants to know the ways they don't love you right” and then “i’m better alone than lonely”..... mr love

and then we get “let it be” by the beatles, a Very nostalgic old fashioned song with catholic themes and just big comforting and recovery vibes…. jake confessing his real feelings to the priest and then reuniting with christine in the church and hugging her tightly and they both agree on working on getting better….. 

and then we get to the talent show, where we see the end of ellie singing “on my own” from les mis - as jake did at the beginning of season one. is this foreshadowing? is it a coincidence? i honestly don’t know. i just chose it because basic theatre girl song.

AND!!!!! THEN!!!!!! we get the song that acts as al’s suicide note: “the goodbye song” by joe iconis (writer of be more chill and “broadway here i come” from smash). we get the return of the falling motif with “i’m flying away” and the lines that really act as what al imagines to be his final goodbye to everyone he knows, as everyone he knows and loves is in that building: “i'd stay if i could / but the universe won't let me / so please be good / and don't you forget me”, and then al turns the “aahs” at the end of the song from a catchy crowd pleaser ending to a long, painful scream as the audience slowly stops clapping, until the room is silent, and then he bows a la the emcee at the end of cabaret (a bow which is often viewed as a metaphor for the character’s death). it’s literally just al having a breakdown on stage, but he rolls a nat 20 on his performance check, and the audience are like “this is very good performance art”

we then get a flashback to “broadway here i come” because. i am a king of foreshadowing.

and then we get “wait for me” from hadestown (obc version) as jake runs to find al, and it’s about the role reversal of jake running to save al from something worse than al saving him for bryan. it’s about the repetition of “wait for me, i’m coming” because of the fear of “what if i get there too late?”

episode eleven

“a better son/daughter” by rilo kiley plays as jake looks through al’s two tumblr blogs - and the song simultaneously a very al and jake song. with the descriptions of depression and dealing with a mother with mental illness at the start, which are very jake, but then the lines “and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on / and your friends they sing along and they love you. / but the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap” are just the base character description for al.

and then we get “the archer” by taylor swift as jake goes into the school again…. like he has been the archer and he has been the prey, in regards to being gay (with him helping in outing sandy and being outed himself).....

(also, fun fact about the episode, it was originally written to be from al’s point of view, but then i decided against it and had to rewrite it, which is why there’s only 4 clips instead of the usual 5 or 6)

and then, lgbts, we get “the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us!” by sufjan stevens as jake walks his dogs  out on the beach and al goes to the beach to write his emo poetry…… also, fun fact, al’s poetry is the first time i’ve ever written poetry/lyrics that weren’t about me, which is very fun. 

and then!!!! at the beginning of the final clip, we got “footloose” by kenny loggins, the iconic bop from the film of the same name. just because it slaps and it’s a fun time.

(we also get some Foreshadowing with al referencing rent in this scene)

and then. transgender nation. we get “midnight radio” from hedwig and the angry inch playing over al and jake’s having fun and being dumb kids montage. 

i know riverdale made this song a meme, but it HITS. it’s about the al referencing origin of love in the cuddle clip, al saying “i laugh because i will cry if i don’t”, it’s about the “for the misfits and losers” and the “hold onto each other”. it’s literally about jake finding community and also wholeness and happiness in himself.

(also, jake talking about all the little soulmates and the fact that he believes that the boy and girl squads are all his soulmates in different ways…… and bree actually paying attention and showing some vulnerability at that point because she loves her friends so much!!!!!!!!!!)

season four

tw for discussion of sexual assault/rape, alcohol abuse and abortion throughout

trailer

lgbt community. we begins with the regrettes' cover of "don't stop me now" by queen because a) i think it's fun when women and b) it's about bree's mania that we've already seen throughout the seasons, this time from her perspective, and it's simultaneously a Fun Time and a Foreboding time.

episode one

we open with "hail mary, gentle woman" by the cathedral singers, which is literally just the prayer "hail mary", but a song. i chose this because catholic, women, and church time babey. also because it was always one of my favourite hymns growing up (because, in case you couldn't tell from half of the mains being raised catholic and lowkey fucked up because of it, i was raised catholic)

and then we SMASH CUT to "r u mine?" by arctic monkeys, a sad british teen staple, as we see bree wake up in josh's bed for the first time and take the "walk of shame" to get to church. it's about the "i go crazy 'cause here isn't where i wanna be", introducing the Mental Illness, bree's want to get out of where she's from and go to a good uni, and her literally not wanting to be in some strange guy's bed in one line. am I reading too much into this? hell yeah. but it's my show, so i can read as much as i want!!!! (also "satisfaction feels like a distant memory" is both about her depressive states and josh not being able to make her orgasm <3)

AND THEN!!!!!!!!!! we get "all i really want" by alanis morissette, the beginning of my season 4/jlp parallel hyperfixation. it's about bree kinning frankie healy and "do i stress you out?" being her @ audrey. and just bree voice "it would knock me to the floor if i wasn't there already / if only i could hunt the hunter". it's just a perfect teen angst song and it's perfectly grungy and brianna-y.

AND THEN!!!!! we get "kiwi" by harry styles playing as bree slow mos by herself down the street. it's about the just hot girl energy of the song and also the romanticization of unhealthy behaviour because that's bree, baby!!!! also we get more of the word "crazy" because of bree's internalised ableism, and we also get the chorus of "i'm having your baby, it's none of your business", foreshadowing her unplanned pregnancy done by josh, who we saw in the last scene.

AND THEN!!!!! we get "chandelier" by sia as bree and the girls have a fun party moment, but bree is still Fucked Up mentally by seeing annabell and also men being creepy. it's about the using alcohol and drugs to push away your feelings because you have a lot of trauma and have internalised ableism and have no idea how to get the help you need without being vulnerable, which terrifies you so So much. also we see that bree forgot to take her meds in this scene, which i couldn't explicitly say in the scene because spoilers, but it's a fun thing.

then we get dodie's cover of "when the party's over" by billie eilish because i like the soft piano vibes of it as bree walks home after the party, because we always see bree as "the party girl", but the party's over now and we see her petting her cat, making sure her brother's home safe, taking off all her makeup and pretty clothes, completely non sexualised, and just getting into bed to sleep because she's just So Tired. also it's about bree pretending she's happy on her own, but she's Not, she has a lot of self loathing and deeply loves her friends more than anything. also a bree/rori moment with "call me friend but keep me closer".

episode two

we open with an audition sequence!!!!! because i'm a theatre kid and love a good audition sequence!!!!

we get rori singing "sexy" from mean girls, because it's a very rori show (pink aesthetic, fun female characters, a funny time), and because it's a very maureen from rent song. also rori is just a very funny person and also has a sick high belt in my mind. also it's about her learning to like the way she looks, slowly but surely. it's also a song about changing who you are, which is a very skam brighton theme.

and then we get al singing "vienna" by billy joel, but the shortened version they did in smash, but he also plays the piano like ben platt in the politician because he's a basic white theatre boy. it's also just a beautiful song about growing up and maturing, and also "if you're so smart, then tell me why are you still so afraid?" is a very bree line. 

(also, the part where josh calls milo his "kid cousin" and then bree's like "yeah, milo's the same age as me" but josh ignores it…… creepy!!!!! bad!!!!!! also, side note, milo is canonically genderfluid and uses different pronouns depending on the day, which is why they change throughout the season.)

and then!!!! we get annabell singing "hallelujah" by leonard cohen, which is just a stunning song, we all know this. it's a song about faith and doubt and it's also a parallel to rori's happy go lucky song, which annabell's being slow and sad instead. also they're jewish and gay and lovely. and then the jeff buckley cover plays over the next scene because it's Good.

and then we get "feel it still" by portugal. the man as the girl squad text. it's just a fun song and the line "i'm a rebel just for kicks" is great from brianna "rebel girl by bikini kill" holland.

and then, swiftie nation, we get “new romantics” by taylor swift as bree agrees to go out with josh because she’s being self destructive. like the fact that she says yes to him as the line “we’re all bored / we’re all so tired of everything” plays say it all. and just the whole song is very bree core, as a whole, also it’s a really fucking good song. i am a 1989 (deluxe) stan.

and then we fade away with “vienna” by billy joel because it is such a good song god bless <3

episode three

WE!! OPEN!! WITH!!! “tik tok” by ke$ha because it is genuinely one of the best songs of our generation, and also it’s just a very shopping centre song. i don’t know why but it Is.

AND THEN!!!!!!!!! we get genuinely one of my favourite songs that i’ve been waiting to find the right scene for ever since i first heard it. “dog bite” by stella bridie is just genuinely a stunning song that really Gets bree’s character as a whole, especially the first lines “putting on lipstick in the bathroom at the doctor’s  / i got a party after this blood test”..... the whole Need to be perform feminity whilst doing something as simple as going to the doctor’s as bree draws herself and tries to make herself look perfect because she believes her only self worth comes from her body and just….. the vibes. immaculate.

and then we get “ophelia” by marika hackman, another beautiful song, as we see bree self destructively look through all of the cyber bullying that’s happened to her in the past as a way of emotional self harm. it’s just a genuinely depressing scene with a good song underscoring it.

but then we cut to rori and brianna out for a jog together - because both have issues with their self image, but also because they’re friends and like to do things together - as “it’s nice to have a friend” by taylor swift plays. it is a very homoerotic song, with a lot of childhood friends to lovers vibes, which is kind of what we’re going for here. they are both very deeply sad but also it is nice to have a friend and have someone there for you when you find out the cast list of the musical you auditioned for and you can hug them…….

and then!!!!! we get “...ready for it?” by taylor swift as we get another party sequence because it’s a fucking banger and also brianna is Very reputation as a person, which will be shown with some other taylor songs throughout the season. also it’s kind of a “are you ready for it?” for the Deeply Sad scene that follows the fun party sequence, because this is skam brighton, and i will always write scenes of people being sad outside/after parties.

episode four

we begin with “harlem” by new politics as bree, annabell and dean hang out at the shopping centre and fuck around in clarie’s. it’s about a funky song and about the recurring line of “like you, like me, like everybody else” of the three of them all having their mental illnesses in common and bree simultaneously feeling happy that she can be open about it, and deeply uncomfortable that she has to be open about it.

and then we get “crush on you” by elijah who as bree scrolls through instagram and looks at two pictures - one of annabell and one of rori and nick, and when she likes the picture of rori and nick, she literally taps over nick’s face so that she can just look at rori <3 it’s about the bree being a bicon.

and then we get the theatre club watching rent as a fun time!!!! we get tune up #1 and voicemail #1, just iconic numbers. we get theatre kid supreme al knowing all of the words, cool guy james doing his air guitar, and when the line “let her be a lesbian” is sung, we get annabell cheering and rori awkwardly looking away because she has internalised homophobia.

(side note, one of my favourite aspects of this season is that it’s a subversion of the past three, where we’ve seen sandy, liz and jake deal with their internalised struggles with their sexualities, but with bree and rori, rori’s the one dealing with her sexuality, while bree is in love with her quietly)

AND THEN!!!!! we open clip 5 with the iconic skam verse song “call your girlfriend” by robyn as the girl squad show up at a house party and bree and rori have a homoerotic moment

and then!!!!!!!!!!!! a moment of skamverse wlw solidarity, “blush” by rhiza plays as rori and bree kiss in the bathroom. a) because it’s a good song and b) because the whole “she's just a friend, you know, but sometimes yeah i wanna kiss her, uhm but that's just 'cause she's cute right? that don't make me gay, it's not like i like other girls like i only like her, i mean no, i'm not gay, right?” part is really summing up what rori’s going through in this scene. also the song is just a bree song. 

episode five

WE OPEN WITH!!!!!! an iconic moment, if i may say so myself. an iconic wlw song, “boyfriend” by marika hackman, plays over bree and nick out partying. like it opens with the lyrics: “i've got your boyfriend on my mind / i think he knows you stayed with me last night” and then we get “it's fine 'cause i am just a girl / ‘it doesn't count’”. i mean. come on.

we then get a snippet of “rent” from rent in a rehearsal, with the lines: “how do you leave the past behind / when it keep finding ways to get to your heart” and “how can you connect in an age / where strangers, landlords, lovers / your own blood cells betray / what binds the fabric together / when the raging, shifting winds of change / keep ripping away”, which all really relate to brianna with her trying to bury her past traumas and and how she struggles to connect and also struggles with change - and the reference to fabric in the line when she’s the person who does the costumes for the show.

and then we get “pynk” by janelle monae as bree and annabell go charity shopping together and have a nice time. It’s just a fun wlw song and i like it. also it’s boppy and happy and kind of dreamy to show how their relationship is very on the surface and not as deep as it once was and they’re not really going to get that back so it’s just really awkward. 

AND THEN!!!! we get bree panicking because she’s getting creepy messages from josh so she runs to hang out with the girl squad and works on her drawing of them, focusing on rori as “head over feet” by alanis morissette plays. this is kind of a contrast to “pynk”, with it being a song that uses real instruments as opposed to the more electro feel of “pynk” to represent the two different relationships. also the lyrics “you treat me like i'm a princess / i'm not used to liking that” and “you've already won me over in spite of me / and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet / and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are / i couldn't help it / it's all your fault” are just Incredibly rori/brianna.

and then we get “hand solo (acoustic)” by marika hackman as we get a brief scene of bree masturbating to some not very healthy p*rn. i was hesitant to include this scene, out of fear of over-sexualising bree as a bisexual girl of colour, but then i thought i had to include the scene from a non-sexual stand point - to show how bree uses sex, even in her own mind when she’s alone, as a self destructive thing, and to show that masturbation is a normal thing to do, but also it’s a hint that bree’s state is getting a bit more manic than usual, so she’s getting more hypersexual. also for the catholic guilt of her stopping and looking up to see the cross above her bed.

when then get ortopilot’s cover of “basketcase” by green day, which is more of an acoustic version of the song. the song itself is just a Very mental illness song and just has a lot of vibes of guilt with it, and the beat of the song is very quick and manic in itself.

we then get “every breath you take” by the police playing over bree and josh’s Scary text conversation in the fish n chip shop, because it’s a creepy stalker song with Pleasant Music over it, which is kind of the Vibe i was going for with josh. also, the season came out around the same time as skames season 3, and seeing the parallels between josh and miquel, with josh being very emotionally distant and miquel being very emotionally close, but both of them having the same goal in mind and end result was very interesting to me. also both of them being very creepy old guys who should stay away from teenagers <3

but then. oh but then. we get a moment that is genuinely one of my favourites. we get the broadway cast version of “forgiven” by alanis morissette, another one of my favourite songs. i chose the broadway version because i prefer the quieter orchestration and the build up to the chorus instead of going all in on it so quickly. i chose this song because bree does parallel frankie from jlp, yes, but she also parallels mj in the fact that she’s repressing her trauma from being sexually harassed and assaulted by adult men ever since she was a child. and the song itself is very beautiful and bree core, with lyrics such as “my brothers, they never went blind for what they did / but i may as well have / in the name of the father, the skeptic and the son / i have one more stupid question” and “we all had our reasons to be there / we all had a thing or two to learn / we all needed something to cling to / so we did”. we also see bree seeking refuge in a church after being harassed by josh, because religion is the place where she genuinely feels safest, but she also doesn’t feel safe, as a bisexual woman in the catholic church, but she also knows in her heart that she is loved by god. 

episode six

WE! OPEN! WITH! “motion sickness” by ms phoebe bridgers plays as bree wakes up at liz’s house the next morning - a song literally about a shitty older man - and then bree is literally sick in the bathroom, claiming she has food poisoning from the strange fish they got last night because she couldn’t go to their usual place out of fear. but, in reality, this is morning sickness from her pregnancy, because she had sex with josh for the first time 6 weeks prior.

and then we get a scene of bree in a manic state rapidly working on costumes as “my body’s made of crushed little stars” by mitski plays. this scene is directly inspired by me in what i believe to be a manic episode staying up until 5am writing because i thought that if i stopped i would forget everything that i was thinking and never write anything good again. fun times. but also just the fast pace of the song and the very depressing lyrics and the whole “i’m not doing anything” playing over bree doing So Many Things…..

we then get a lot of silence because it’s Emotion Time, but then!!!! we get a moment very pleasing to be, “unprodigal daughter” by alanis morissette playing as bree goes to buy a pregnancy test. the song itself is just one of my favourites, and it’s also about bree kinning ms frankie healy (having a “perfect” white older brother, having an intense relationship with your mother, being artistic and into english, being bisexual and just really cool), but it’s also a song about choice and the singer choosing herself and who she wants to be and having hope for the future and wanting to run away. also the line “i’d invite you but i’m busy being oppressed” once again being used in regards to a young bisexual girl of colour….. genuinely one of my favourite lines ever written. the power it has.

and then. bree finds out she’s pregnant via the tests. and “oh no!” by marina begins to play, because skam brighton is a comedy show, but also skam brighton is a show for depressed british-ish teenagers. bree copes with this Really Fucked News by deciding to go and get wasted because that’s her favourite method of dissociation. also the song is just very bree as a whole, with the wanting to change and the “i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy” after her making fun of her cousin’s pregnancy in the first episode.

and then we get “bubblegum bitch” also by marina as bree goes out to drink. it’s there to represent how bree is trying to force herself to get into her familiar role of the fun bitchy party girl, but it’s not working because she’s just really fucked, but she’s trying her best.

BIG TW FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT

and then “you are going to hate this” by the frights plays as josh and bree dance together, and we see josh giving her more and more drinks, getting her purposefully drunk as she gives into it, wanting the release being drunk gives her, not realising that he could be doing something bad to her because she’s so distracted by a) the alcohol and b) the fact that she’s fucking pregnant and doesn’t know what to do about it.

and then we get “seventeen” by sharon van etten as josh begins to assault brianna. i first heard this song in sex education, where it played as a group of girls supported their best friend after she was sexually harrassed on the bus, and i wanted to use it here as kind of a parallel to that, but also as a reminder than bree is seventeen years old, a child, and josh knows this, purposefully got her drunk and is assaulting her, because he is a disgusting human being.

episode seven

we open with “interlude iii” by tessa violet, as bree wakes up and leaves josh’s bed again, a parallel to the first clip of the season, but this time we saw the before that presumably happened. it’s just a really pretty song that vibes with the lonely emptiness of the scene.

and then we get “the ballad of mona lisa” by panic! at the disco as bree walks into school. it’s just a really vibey bree song, and the whole “i’d pay to see you frown” line is just about the always masking around people and never showing your real emotions. 

we then get “out tonight” from rent, but the movie version, purely because i just prefer the music production on that version. it just slaps. also, i just used this scene to talk about my love for my interpretation of mimi marquez. she’s just a teenager with a lot of problems who needs proper professional medical help, very much like bree. also, i have always seen “out tonight” as mimi having a manic episode and using the number as a distraction from her actual problems (literally what bree is doing) and i love her. (also the scene of bree watching the scene from the movie and having gay panic is just an Iconic moment)

we then get “funeral” by phoebe bridgers as bree lies in bed, deeply depressed and barely able to move. it’s just about a beautiful and deeply sad song. like all of the lines just vibe really hard with bree and the deep loneliness and emptiness of the song, and the underlying panic really outline bree’s actual emotional state.

and we end with the titular song of the episode, “will i?” from rent. i chose this song because, despite it being very repetitive, it’s always been deeply meaningful to me. and the only lines being “will i lose my dignity / will someone care / will i wake tomorrow / from this nightmare?” playing after bree talked about having to deal with her pregnancy, and following the dream imagery used in funeral, because all of the music Is connected…….. quite genuinely one of my favourite moments, because it’s so understated

episode eight

we begin the music of this episode with “everything i own” by the front bottoms - just a really fucking sad song for a really fucking sad time in bree’s life. with like like “just try to appreciate what you got while you got it” and “sometimes i don't feel like singing / i don't really like these songs / sometimes i don't feel like dancing / dj please, don't turn the beat on / let's keep it quiet, keep me honest, keep me true” just really vibing with her.

and then we get “even my dog” by kathryn gallagher, another one of my personal favourite songs, as bree walks through the hospital. first of all, kathryn gallagher’s character in jagged little pill, bella, does parallel bree quite a lot - being from a poor family, being talented at art, being slut-shamed by her school and dealing with the trauma of being sexually assaulted. the song itself has lyrics describing depression, with lines like “i don’t know how i’m gonna get better / i just know that i’m supposed to / i don’t know how i’m gonna get better / but i’ll tell you i’m good ‘til i believe it too” and “everybody wants me to be happy / everybody wants me to be” and “i can feel it / the life i knew before you / it’s beautiful to be so naive” which i feel just Really fit bree and her situation

then we get a little bit of “musetta’s waltz” played by james, because it’s a rent thing, and rori sings a bit of “over the moon” because it’s a maureen song and i just wanted to include it for a little bit of fun in the hell week

and then. oh and then. we get the funeral scene from rent and “i’ll cover you (reprise)” performed by milo and everyone else. the reason i chose this song is because a) it’s one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching songs in musical theatre canon, and b) i wanted to use the imagery of a funeral to show bree quietly making the decision in her head to go through with the abortion, even though she has many doubts. and the line “a new lease you were, my love / on life” is about the baby bree might have had may be being her ticket to a new life, the way she was for her mother, but bree knows that’s not what she wants and not what she can handle right now. and the moment bree finally break is the climax of the song, the moment death is said out in the open “when your heart has expired”. she hears that, is struck by the reality of what she wants to do, and just runs because it’s a lot for any person, let alone a seventeen year old, to handle.

and then we get the girl squad picking bree off the ground, quite literally, and helping her go to the doctor, all of them together, as “sign of the times” by harry styles played. all of the girls are involved, organising rides and where to go and comforting bree, and al’s staying behind, doing ground control at the rehearsal, because al and bree are siblings and they love each other god damn it. ans the song itself is just. simply epic. and the lines “you look pretty good down here / but you ain't really good” really get to where bree is in regards to her self image and it’s about her finally opening up and accepting help and doing what’s right and good for her, not being self destructive or doing things for someone else.

episode nine

we open with a slowed down piano cover of “knee socks” by the arctic monkeys, simply because i liked the sound of it and it’s a quintessential sad british time, but it’s also about girls being pretty.

and then we get one of my favourite songs from rent being sung by bree, “without you”. it’s a genuinely beautiful song about addiction and the struggles that people can go through with it. the song has a double meaning to bree, as she’s been struggling with her alcohol abuse problems recently and going clean, but the song is also about bree imagining life without her hypothetical child. “but i die / without you” is how bree is seeing it, still thinking she’ll be rejected by her mother, and partially by god, if she goes through with it, but the song goes on. she knows the world will go on without her child, but she’s unsure of how she’s going to be after the child is gone. (we also see james come in and sing too, as he plays roger, but him singing is also a reference to him dealing with his own addiction, as mentioned before in this season, to nicotine).

we then get “you gotta be" by des'ree playing as we go from bree getting herself together after josh gets fired to bree and her mother sitting together and watching ladybird. i wanted ladybird to be playing because it’s a very bree movie, in my opinion, and the “give me a number” scene playing is a really good feel, for me, of what it’s like to be a working class child and feeling the need to pay back your parents, which is something bree also feels immensely. and the song has lyrics such as “challenge what the future holds / try and keep your head up to the sky / lovers, they may cause you tears / go ahead release your fears” and “stand up and be counted / don't be ashamed to cry” and “you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger / you gotta be cool, you gotta be calm / you gotta stay together / all i know, all i know, love will save the day”, which just really vibe with where bree is in this scene, trying to figure out all the things she has to be and can be and the whole thing about standing up is just very bree, because, despite us seeing her insecurities and weaknesses, she’s always been a confident person 

and then we get a scene that i wrote just to make myself cry. bree gets her hair cut by her mother after deeply connecting to her as “slipping through my fingers” by abba plays. it’s a song about a mother watching her daughter grow up and trying to stay close to her despite her always growing and changing, which is how i see audrey. she’s a woman full of love and she will do anything to support her daughter and make her happy, and it took bree until now to see it. and then we see bree’s hair literally slipping through audrey’s fingers, because haircuts are often used as a way to regain control over one’s life, and i’ve used bree’s hair throughout this season as a way to represent her trauma. when she gets morning sickness, she throws up in her hair. josh pulls on her hair when he assaults her. her cutting her hair off is a metaphor for her cutting off her trauma, but then from the hair cutting we transition to:

the abortion clinic, where “soon you’ll get better” by taylor swift and the chicks is playing. a song where a daughter sings to her mother to get better, and we see a mother supporting her daughter as she gets ready to go through surgery. the song itself, though, feels more about bree’s mental health than her physical state. she knows that through this surgery, she will ultimately end up better, but it’s going to take a lot of time.

and then as bree and audrey sit at home, they watch another movie: this time “grease”, representing bree’s desire to get back to her younger, happier self.

and then. we get “wake up” by alanis morrissette as bree gets ready for the rally in support of sexual assault survivors. a song, when used in the jlp musical, is used to talk about how it’s easier to not stand up and speak out against sexual assault. with the line “it’s so much easier not to / and what goes around never comes around to you” being used in regards to the cishet abled white man who will never get back all of the harm he puts out into the world, but we see bree reclaiming the song and her own body, putting on makeup in a way that makes her happy and marching out to the streets as it plays, focusing on her and only her

episode ten

WE OPEN WITH!!!! a moment most pleasing to me - “i did something bad” by taylor swift playing as the girl squad slow mo down the street together, a united front. i chose this song because it’s literally about society saying a woman did something bad, but she doesn’t give a fuck and wishes that she could do it again, which is how bree feels about fucking up a rapist’s life. also, once again, bree rolling a nat 20 on her deception roll as she gets proof of josh having the pictures of her on his phone by pretending to be the manic pixie damsel in distress josh wanted….. and we also get josh using the term “witch hunt”, the same phrase bryan used when he went off on bree, to show that they’re both the same character archetype, but in different flavours (bryan coming in asshole jock and josh coming in adult man incel).

(note: i also wanted to include the girl squad in this scene, because in the og when noora when to go meet nikolai on her own i was just. So Scared for her because she had No One. also, fun fact, i included the fact that the squad call nick “nickolai” as a nickname in season 2 so maybe there would be a theory that he would be nikolai, but i was just playing 4d chess with myself and he’s just a nice guy)

and then we get “seasons of love” from rent, which is, yes, a basic theatre song, but you can’t deny how good it is. and the whole “minute” thing in it lining up with the “minute by minute” iconic skam speech, and we get annabell on the big soloist lines because they’re the person who also heard the “minute by minute” speech before from the same place as bree, because it was said in their group therapy…. and it also parallels “i’ll cover you (reprise)” with them all standing in a line, but this time bree stays because it’s about love and being supported by your friends and not being sure if you’re okay, but knowing there’s always a safe place for you to go where you’re loved.

(also, we get a throwback joke of sandy, once again, being surprised by how strangely sexual all of these musicals are. i love her so so much)

and then!!!!! we end the episode with rori and bree confessing their feelings for each other and kissing for real for the first time, and it ends with “dress” by taylor swift playing. literally just the most homoerotic song, and the whole “i don’t want you like a best friend” line…… they deserve to be in love with each other and i have been building up to them finally admitting it for four seasons. literally the longest slow burn i’ve ever written. 

episode eleven

WE! OPEN! WITH! “watch you sleep” by girl in red, a song i discovered in 2018 and wanted to save for a good moment, and then the whole “do you listen to girl in red” thing exploded, so. (james from derry girls voice) i support wlw, though i myself am not wlw. also it’s just a really sweet song that i like a lot. and we’ve seen bree wake up a lot at the beginning of episodes, and we see her wake up from a nightmare this time, and she calms down instantly when she realises she’s home and with rori…..

and then we get a moment MOST PLEASING to me!!!! we have canon swiftie alistair fletcher streaming “daylight” by taylor swift in the bathroom as bree and rori wait for him to be done. and then they start to dance together to it, with them referencing rent before they start dancing, and rori begins to sing along because rori, as a character, has such “lover” energy. and we get rori singing “i once believed love would be black and white”, which is a reference to her and james’s relationship, with her thinking it would be simple and easy, and then “i once believed love would be burning red”, with her and nick’s quick, passionate relationship “but it’s golden like daylight” and we see her and bree together, calm, best friends who are now lovers, no big dramatics, no fireworks, just two people who care so deeply about each other, holding each other, having seen each other at their worst and still adoring them with every part of their being. and we get the “you’re so pretty”, “no, you”, “no, us” exchange, which is just saying “stop comparing yourself to other girls, just be in love with them and yourself”

and then we get “number one fan” by muna, which is just a really fun boppy song, and just big bree core. with lines like “so i heard the bad news / nobody likes me and i'm gonna die alone / in my bedroom / looking at strangers on my telephone / well, wouldn't you? / wouldn't you like if i believed those words?” is showing her development, going from believing all of the bad shit people say about her, both online and to her face, and standing up for herself and believing in herself

(fun fact, there was originally a clip in this episode where we see bree going to the police about josh, but as i was getting closer to publishing it, i thought “fuck that, i’m not giving them any screentime”, and just gave bree some fun exposition about reporting josh to his school)

so we get “icu” by phoebe bridgers as bree’s walking down the street, just vibing, very happy because she just got her rapist expelled from his university. we get lines like: “and i get this feeling / whenever i feel good / it'll be the last time” which vibes with my perception and bree and her relationship with her mental health, which is currently, in the episode, in a good place because of goos things happening, but she knows that it’s going to come back down eventually, but she’s prepared for it now, she’s not as scared of herself anymore

then we get al’s film of the rehearsal process - which is, once again, him using art and music as a way of expressing his love - as “heroes” by david bowie plays. this is a direct reference to “the perks of being a wallflower”, a very inspiring piece of media to me, writing wise. the film that al makes is just a love letter to being teenagers and making art and noise in a world where people are constantly telling you to shut up.

and then, following two deeply philosophical speeches i wrote at 3am one night, we get the last 15 minutes of act one of a musical because it’s my show!!!!!! and if i want to have a character yell about love and then sing a song i can!!!!!

we begin with “la vie boheme”, the iconic act one closer of rent. quite genuinely, this song has the same meaning here as it does in rent, only with the added layer of “this is the last clip, so we’re just all having a fun happy ending” on it, so i’m just gonna be talking about my favourite fun parts of it.

we got al and bree sharing a laugh as al sings “not to mention, of course / hating dear old mom and dad”; we got al high-fiving jake as he talks about “fruits”, because they’re both gay; we got one of my favourite lines: “to being an us for once instead of a them”; we got milo and bree messing around because i love their friendship; we got bree and nick singing a verse together; we got al making it canon that mark cohen gets pegged with the “mucho masturbation” line; we get rori making eye contact with bree while she kisses another girl, because we love a call your girlfriend reference and we love her character development; we get james finally perfecting “musetta’s waltz”

and then we get “i should tell you”, a song i hated upon first watch of rent, but now i love it so so much. while james and bree are singing it together as roger and mimi, bree is very much dedicating the song to rori, because it’s a song about being scared of starting a relationship but doing it anyway because you’re learning to trust the other person. we also see audrey and patrick in the audience, both so happy and supportive of their children, because i love them so much. i love all of the parents, but audrey is definitely my personal favourite so fa.

and then!!!! we begin “la vie boheme b”, literally one of the biggest bangers of musical theatre history. 

we get rori singing the first fast verse, literally raising a middle finger to the idea of perfection and eating disorders, because while those ideas may be a part of her life, she’s happy to say “fuck you” to them; we get nick voguing to the camera as he sings his fast verse, goofing around like usual; and then we get milo yelling out their verse to the audience, serious, because they genuinely believe in the words they’re saying

then we get the cast all yelling out their lgbt identity in the form of a reclaimed slur. i also changed this part of the show because there’s two terms referring to lesbians in the song and i wanted to a reference just for bisexual people. 

then we begin to shift all focus away from bree and her story, beginning to move onto nick, as he and james dance together as al yells out the title line of the episode: “the opposite of war isn’t peace, it’s creation”. and i decided to edit the closing monologue because i felt that it placed too much focus on roger and mimi’s romance and wanted to end the season with a focus on revolution and positive social change, ending with the line: “the riot goes on and on and on and on…”

and then we end the season with the line “we will now take a short intermission” as nick looks into the camera, because it’s time for a break between seasons babey!

and that’s another well over 10k essay on my music choices!!!!! also, as of writing this, i have officially finished production on skambr season 5!!!! i’m way ahead of schedule, which is really good for me, and the trailer will be coming out in about a month’s time!!!! until then, thank you for reading my infodump <3

[ayeshintheclouds]

I watched Never Have I Ever!! And I have many many thoughts. Just about on every aspect of it so oops this might be kinda long. But I like having somewhere public to post it cuz I don’t have to be apologetic and guilty about making it long, cuz if I was texting someone id feel as if I’m making them obligated to read so much.

Anyways!

Overall, I quite enjoyed the show! There’s a lot of controversy around it, i keep saying a lot of indian girls complaining about being misrepresented. Which I agree that they have a right to, because it’s the first time we’ve ever gotten a main character representing us, and we can’t help but hold her to a higher standard. But I’m trying to look past that a little, past the stereotypes and see it more by itself in terms of a plot and character development rather than just the cultural standpoint.

In no particular order, here are some opinions about the show and characters:

I loved the realistic arguments they show the night of her dad’s death. Honestly, they were a bit jarring how similar they are to our family, and how sometimes under pressure everyone kinda turns on each other and doesn’t get along. I thought that was a really realistic scene how a little thing like losing a music sheet ends up turning into a lot of unnecessary drama.

I love Paxton! I still absolutely can’t decide who I ship more with Devi but I do love his character. He genuinely does care for his sister, and he’s so quick to sacrifice his pride and call Devi when his sister needs help, even though he’s really mad at Devi rn. I think it’s adorable that his sister even gives him relationship advice. And Paxton is genuinely such a good friend, although he’s tryna be all cool and stuff, he encouraged her to be herself in her indian dress and I hate how Devi disregards his whole personality and only wants him physically. It upset me that she only saw him as some status symbol to obtain, never really an actual human with feelings. He deserved better, so although I love him, I’m not sure I ship him with her after she kinda used him the whole show.

The car ride scene!!! With Paxton and Devi! Ok I watched this scene approximately a bajillion times! I think it might be my favorite moment in the whole show. I love everything about it, the subtle glances they cast each other the entire time, the neon lights as they drive through the city, the way for once in the show she seems somewhat like emotionally vulnerable and nervous rather than brash and hot headed. The music was beautiful too.

I love Fab and Eleanor!!! I love their stories and I’m so so glad they got the attention from the show at least since they didn’t get it from Devi. Fab is literally so adorable and I just wanted to hug her🥺 Eleanor’s mom made me so frikin mad and I’m truly really glad Eleanor learned to live without her and how Fab helps her deal with it. I know it’s pretty dramatic how she stays dressing all different and changing her personality, but I related to that so much:(when someone hurts me or walks out on me, it makes me feel not like myself anymore, and I often visibly and noticeably change my attitude and behavior for a while before springing back.

The Kamala plotline!!! Uhhhhh ok very mixed feelings. I thought Steve was adorable. They just discarded him when he was an absolute sweetheart and it made me so sad for him🥺poor Steve. I do like that they’re actually showing arranged marriage for what it is though. In my opinion it is a very traditional and flawed procedure, as we see when Devi’s mom has kamala wear a certain outfit and has her hide the career part of her personality, to try to be a certain way she’s not. BUT I think i am glad that they didn’t show it as something forced upon her, like she’s being married off against her will to some creep she’s never ever met. It’s more like a blind date but arranged by parents. And although she is pretty pressured into it, she has the power to back out any time (even if it’ll somewhat outcast her). And I like that they decide to continue their relationship but on their own terms and he likes her for who she is. I think overall it’s a pretty solid and realistic representation of arranged marriage: a very traditional way of doing things with many flaws, but not forced or oppressive or morally wrong in any way, and can usually work out quite nicely many times. Except why’d they break poor Steve’s heart like that:(((

Ben. Ok Ben grew on me a lot through the show. He was such a complex and interesting character and I thought his development was so amazingly done. I thought he was truly such a sweet soul for doing all that he did for her, letting her stay over, convincing her to spread the ashes, driving her there so fast. I almost feel like he doesn’t deserve her either😂. And hhfjdndndnd I really don’t know how to feel about that end scene that was wild omg. But romance aside. Ben is such a well written character and I think he really was neglected by his family and I really hope that changes or he finds a family in Devi’s.

I know her parents and the therapist were side characters. But I think they’re pretty cool. I like the really sweet relationship her parents had. It was so typical indian parents yet adorable. The motorcycle ride and the comforting scene🥺 I love them a lot they remind me of my own parents. And I think her mom is infinitely strong for dealing with the death of her soulmate and Devi being so absolutely difficult. I think the therapist was extremely patient and the scenes with her were hilarious. I loved most about her how genuine she was. No therapist irl would care enough for the patients health that they would so blatantly disagree with them and even suggest they find someone else if it’ll help them. They would never risk losing the money and offending the client. I once heard someone say that they’d love to be a child therapist cuz all they have to do is agree with everything the kids say, be like “aw yeah the world hates u ur parents hate u, ur right” like feed into their teen angst, and the kid convinces their parents to keep paying for your services. But Dr Ryan is like a mother. She just wants what’s best for Devi, and she’s willing to sacrifice her own profit for it.

Ok I guess I should probably talk about my biggest issue with the show which is Devi. I kinda hate her😭I tried so hard I really did but I genuinely cannot bring myself to like her character. I don’t agree with almost any of her actions and her behavior upset me a lot. And pls you don’t understand she nearly killed me with second hand embarrassment the first episode in approaching Paxton like that aaAAAA Like I was basically watching through my hands at that point. I know she’s going through so much, she really has a lot of trauma and grief. But I can’t help but feel like the way she handles it is not very realistic at all, cuz I know people with trauma and they would never use it to justify the awful things she does. I know that everyone grieves differently and everyone has different coping mechanisms, but I just cannot bring myself to like her. Coping mechanisms that hurt others immensely are so unhealthy and I feel like she should’ve at least redeemed herself somehow. Maybe I sympathized with her at some points. But never liked her. I think she was disgusting to her friends, she always assumed her problems mattered more than theirs despite Fab and Eleanor having such heavy stuff happening. She didn’t even bother caring, and I’m convinced the only reason she even came back and tried to make it up was because of her own selfish reasons: she didn’t want to be lonely and friendless (she literally admits that!) and she’s jealous of that new kid they’re friends with. She does not seem at any point to actually care for their feelings as humans, and treats them like status symbols, two objects she owns to show people she has a social life. She reminds me of Greg from Diary of a Wimpy Kid and not in a good way; he was so awful to Rowley and obsessed with popularity and narcissistic Blegh. Also with Paxton like I mentioned before, she only cares about his body and popularity and literally does not care for his friendship and personality the slightest bit. I think it was disgusting that she lied about sleeping with him like that, cuz it may have been manageable to him, but for a lot of people, that’s like a pretty messed up thing and I don’t think they’d want to be friends with someone who was that creepy and a blatant liar. The stuff she said to her mom about wishing she was dead, that absolutely broke my heart. I can’t imagine being her mother in that moment and hearing your daughter say something like that after losing the love of your life. I think that would be like the worst thing to say to someone grieving, and might potentially endanger their mental health. I was truly worried for her mom, even though I know it wouldn’t be that type of show. Honestly. The only reason I don’t like full on despise her and think she’s irredeemable is because I pity her so much. She lost her dad and wasn’t able to walk for a year. That’s a lot of pain. But truly, like Fab said, it’s not a free pass to be a jerk. And a character shouldn’t be written in a way that their only redeemable quality is that u pity them to hold them less accountable for their actions.

Overall I enjoyed the show!! Minus devi😭but besides that, I’m so glad we’re getting some representation and there’s a new really cute and fresh show to watch during quarantine. I NEED A SEASON TWO SO BAD PLS and I really really hope Devi grows up a bit more in it and maybe I’ll start to like her:)

[kriss-the-writing-nerd]

11/11/11 tag game

Answer 11 questions, make 11 new questions, tag 11 persons!

I was tagged by @waterfallwritings for this! Thank you, your questions were really interesting and fun to answer! o(^▽^)o

(Sorry if I got a bit lengthy, it was just so nice to do something not university related after exams!)

1. How do you come up with ideas for your WIPs?

The heavy artillery from the get go, eh? *cracks knuckles* Okay, to be honest, I'm not sure. I've never really thought of it, they're just there, clamoring for attention (plot bunnies are my best ally and worst enemy). I definitely have bouts of very intense inspiration and days when I just,, can't. Even if I know where the scene is going, how it's going, and why, the words aren't there. Or they're all wrong. (This is when I default to writing ugly-crying emotional breakdowns or sex. Likely both.)

Working out a story is a game of association laced with concepts and core elements for me. Like this: dragons (core element) + mountains (association) + tribe/clan (concept) + shapeshifting (association/concept) + relocation/settlers (core element). And that's basically my dragon wip.

Eld's story is based on a Doctor Who quote "demons run when a good man goes to war". Ren and Kuro grew up with me; at some point they just started acting on their own - I just throw shit at them and sees what shakes loose at this point. (They have five kids! How???? did that?? happen???)

(I'm a sucker for prompts. My brain can see a single word and just, run of with it hollering in glee.)

2. How do you get past gaps in the plot?

Urrrrgh, I have to get past them??

I struggle, is what I do. Typically I let it sit, soundly on the back-burner in my mind, until I've mulled through my story to the point where the hole is gone. (This takes months, and with my sci-fi wip I ended up rewriting the dang thing completely at the third draft after eight years of working on it. Scrapping it was painful.)

Or I try a different angle. Sometimes it works.

3. What motivates you to keep writing?

I love writing. There's really no more significant reason than that. Writing allows me to express myself, create and explore worlds and characters who wouldn't exist otherwise. And it lets me just exist without any layers. When I've been hurting, writing has helped me get the pain out with no more than tears.

And I love words and languages; the way we have about 10 different words to say "snow" (partly because Swedish mesh several words into one but still) and maybe 2 (3?) for heat. That there are groups of languages with the same ancestors that are so close; how absolutely amazingly different they can be (I just learned "y" is not considered a vowel in English and I'm???? Completely blown. What. What do you mean it's not a vowel. Are you sure???). And languages with different alphabets and ones that use pictures to represent ideas instead of sounds! And sign languages!!

And idioms! It's so cool how idioms can carry words of wisdom, caution and reassurance, and rarely can be translated (classical examples from Swedish "There's no danger on the roof" and "The rain is standing like sticks in the ground") because they lose their connections to the cultures they are used in.

The universes in my head are as full of life as the real world and not nearly as anxiety-inducing. I have stories to tell. And you know that feeling when you’re in the zone and everything is flowing and you’re writing 10′000 words in a go? That.

4. Do you do any other kind of creative writing?

I dabble in poetry? Like, very sporadically and with mixed results. I have a friend into slam poetry who opened my eyes to it, too.

(Would fanfiction go here too?)

5. Do you have any other creative hobbies besides writing?

Urngh, yeah, too many. If I’m not reading, my hands need to be moving or I’m an unhappy bean. Though, writing is the only thing I never put down. Ever.

Okay, so, I draw (badly), both on paper and digitally. Mostly landscapes. I also try to make house sketches/plans. And I paint (a bit better than I draw), prefer oils or acrylics over water colors. My partner and I also paint miniature models when there is time.

I also crochet and knit, and I love origami. I roleplay (Dungeons & Dragons, whenever the DMs have time), and I play the violin (and piano) and write simple music for myself.

I garden if there's time in the spring and during summer, and I absolutely love these little fairy-gardens that have been popping up everywhere. On that note, I have more houseplants than I have space for.

I'm also thinking to start up a little thing making bracelets and bead strings for fidgeting. I needed some kind of stim toy to be able to focus and I wanted something silent with many different sensations to keep me entertained. I hunted around a bit but eventually made my own and they turned out pretty nice!

(I also like to bake, especially pies and breads.)

6. What do you do when you’re stuck on a scene and don’t know how to get it out / write it?

I slam the key words in. And then I ignore it until it stops fighting back so much.

Or I backtrack. Sometimes I've written myself into a corner unknowingly.

Sometimes I drop a wip that's giving me grief and work on another, or I use word/idea prompts to get me started.

7. How do you decide how to end your WIP?

God, please tell me because I don't hecking know. Should I do an epilogue? Should I leave it open/ambiguous? Should I just cut it off and leave the next step to the reader? Should there be a "true" ending, with goodbyes (actual or metaphorical)?

Urrrrrrrrgh. Good Lord, endings.

8. When in the process of writing do you decide how its going to end? Or do you kind of just wait til you get there?

Either I know from the start, before I write the first words, or I wait. Which tends to mean frustrating the hell out of myself. I have started to go through my wips (whether original or fanfiction) and give them all bare-bones outlines, because not having endings is a big problem for me.

9. Why did you decide to join writeblr?

Basically when I decided I had had enough of the "join to see more" button or the "sensitive material" warning. And when I realized there was a really nice writing community here I could maybe become a part of. (A major reason was actually @concerningwolves advice posts.)

10. What’s your favourite food?

(CW: Maybe skip if you’re vegetarian/vegan/you’d rather not read about meat.)

Chinese deep-fried chicken with sweet-and-sour sauce (not the spicy chili kind, the actual pineapple and tomato juice based kind) with rice. No question about it.

Mom's "blodbröd med fläsk" is a close runner up though, but we only eat it once a year, at the midwinter solstice. It's homemade Swedish tunnbröd (hard thin-bread) with blood instead of water in it that you dip in boiling water to make it soft, with white sauce, and fried, thoroughly salted pork.

(Believe me, some country-side Swedes in the northern parts are still pretty pagan about the sun coming back, me included. It's a big deal when you go between no night/darkness and then very little/no sun.)

11. If you had to kill off a character in your WIP, who would it be and why?

People are dying right and left in most of them already, since three include large-scale wars, so there's no shortage there.

But if I had to choose a main-character or a directly supporting character? (MY BABIES! NO.)

I think Ren, from the sci-fi wip, because he would be free from both responsibility and physical and mental pain. (My boi is a wreck.) It wouldn't be unlikely either. But at this point it would destroy my story! 😂 Less story-destroying would be their foster-guardian Sandra. It would still force me to write a completely new arc, but it would be do-able.

Although, regarding the fantasy wip Firestorm, Kebarock dying in their war would crush Sunling. That could be done without losing the plot entirely. Hmmm.

Puh, that was a lot of thinking! Okay, I'll be tagging.. @concerningwolves @weaver-of-fantasies-and-fables @adorhauer @focusdumbass @sleepy-and-anxious @els-writes @meteorwrites @sebastian-writer @telvivere @thescribesloft and @aceymichaelis No obligation to do this of course! <3 (And if I tagged you and you’d rather not be tagged in games, I apologize, please let me know)

And here are your questions if you want to:

1. What about your wip makes you smile?

2. What's the hardest decision you've had to make in regards to a wip?

3. What text font do you prefer writing in? Or do you write by hand?

4. Are there pets in your wip? If not, what pet might your character(s) keep?

5. What AU would you love to see/write for your wip?

6. Is there any type of music/a song in particular that you associate with your wip?

7. Are you a night owl or an early bird/When do you write?

8. Favorite beverage?

9. Where do you prefer to write? At home? In a library? On the bus/train?

10. What are your first 3 to 5 associations with the word 'writing'? Why those?

11. What do you do when you're bored?

Hope you enjoy! o(^◇^)o

[scrawnydutchman]

Coco Movie Review

Note: this review contains spoilers highlighted by bold letters for readers convenience. If you have not seen the film yet skip the bold sections and come back to read them once you HAVE seen it.

So I just came back from the theater after seeing Pixar’s Coco with a friend. An adventurous little romp about a Mexican boys’ supernatural journey to find his destiny, Coco is a spectacularly colorful, visually stimulating, heartfelt and clever little masterpiece that shows that in spite of recent worries many people have been having (myself included) Pixar isn’t losing their touch in creating marvelously original animated pieces. Granted this film borrows a lot of stylistic choices from Disney Animation Studios as well as other animated films (cough *BOOK OF LIFE* cough) but it also arguably takes those choices and makes them better. I’ll delve into more detail about that in a bit, but let’s tackle this film one section at a time, starting with story.

Story:

Synopsis: Miguel is a young boy who is part of a large family in Mexico and has aspirations to become a great musician. But music is banned in his family due to an ancestor of his leaving his wife and child behind to selfishly pursue a career in it. This doesn’t stop Miguel from striving for greatness though as he feels it’s in his blood to play music. One thing leads to another and Miguel ends up transporting himself to the realm of the dead where he decides to learn more about his families past to find out just what happened all those years ago. But it’s a race against the clock as Miguel finds out if he doesn’t leave the realm of the dead fast enough he will end up staying there forever. Will he be able to find his destiny and discover the truth about his family in time?

This is a pretty typical Disney plot setup. Young protagonist wants to achieve something greater than what his family has planned for him, goes on big misadventure to discover his true destiny, his family learns an important lesson about letting their kid follow their heart. If you’ve seen a Disney movie you know the ropes. But while this storyline is undeniably common among Disney films, Coco actually has a unique take on the subject matter that I haven’t seen previous entries ever do before. The lesson of the family letting Miguel follow his dreams is still present, but this time around it isn’t as clear cut and dry as, say, Pixar’s Ratatouille, which also had an ongoing theme of passion vs. family. While in Ratatouille the family pretty much has to concede to Remy as the film demonstrates he was right all along, Coco has the angle that Miguel is also at fault for a lot of his actions and has to know the importance of family as well. The film also has a great plot twist that makes the point that there IS such a thing as going too far for your dream. Truth be told it’s probably the most refreshing take on the subject matter I’ve ever seen either Disney or Pixar do.

The plot twist in this film is arguably the most effective twist I’ve ever seen either a Disney or Pixar film pull off. Matter of fact it’s very similar to the plot twist in Disney’s Frozen, but I would argue Coco succeeded where Frozen failed. In Frozen the true bad guy is hidden through a cheat in the narrative. The prince acts all starry eyed and innocent even when in the context of the scene nobody is around him, and so it’s a bit of a cheat to have it be executed in this fashion. With Coco, the bad guy is shrouded in mystery for the majority of the film. Ernesto de la cruz plays a very similar role to Gusteau in Ratatouille, where he’s a role model the protagonist never really interacts with outside of watching films and pretending to be there with him. At least that’s what it is for the majority of the movie. But when we DO finally meet him and learn his dark terrible secret, and that he cheated and murdered his way to his success, it’s not unbelievable, because just like the main character we as the audience only saw what he wanted us to see. We only ever saw his on screen persona and heard other people talk about him, whereas again, in Frozen the context implies the prince is virtuous even behind closed doors. It doesn’t feel out of nowhere because the narrative doesn’t progress in a way where betrayal was ruled out. And this twist is beyond clever because, again, it takes the moral we all see coming and puts a completely different spin on it. There IS such a thing as going too far for your dream, and there IS a certain extent where you have to put your family before your aspirations. It’s a much more profound look than kids are used to.

Beyond the compelling plot twist and the clever spin on an otherwise overdone message, it’s a pretty cookie cutter Disney movie. There’s a comedic foil, an adorable sidekick, an ambitious young protagonist, and this time around more than a few tear jerker moments. But hey, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. And man, when it comes to the tear jerkers, this film comes from the realest place since Pixar’s Up. The last 30 minutes are especially gut wrenching, which I for one think is a welcome compensation after Moana was pretty lacking in the sad stuff (though I will admit as a result this movie is lacking in the more comedic side). Also there’s a more than healthy dosage of Mexican culture to really break up the monotony of the story we’ve heard millions of times.

Animation/Art Design:

This. Film. Is. GORGEOUS!!! Absolutely colorful, inventive backgrounds, great use of contrasting blue with orange, dripping with Mexican atmosphere, and it really showcases some of the most impressive and inventive visuals I’ve ever seen in a Pixar movie. For one, this movie is not afraid to zoom in on all the intricate guitar playing, and for good reason. You can see every detail, every plucked string, every held note in the guitar playing. You might think this is a minor point, but take it from an animator; animating guitar or piano playing is EXTREMELY difficult especially if you want to make a point on being as accurate as possible. There’s a reason why in most animated media they zoom out, zoom in to the face or depict the playing from the other side of the piano to hide the fact that they probably aren’t hitting the right notes. Also, the way the skeletons move is wonderfully creative and interesting. So much thought went into how they walk, how they interact with their environment, how they rebuild themselves after splitting into several pieces. I especially love the squash and stretch the skeletons have; it makes them look appealingly jagged and really sells how lightweight they are without all that flesh and meat. This films is dripping with inventive visuals from beginning to end. The use of colous are on point, the lighting is great, the Textures are the best Pixar has pulled thus far. It’s a visual marvel. The character designs are great too, especially Dante the very derpy looking dog. The way his eyes and tongue look make for an effective comedic foil as well as the way his lanky scrawny body moves. In fact, the animal creatures in this movie are all very appealing in different ways. Many people including myself were skeptical about the designs of the skeletons, particularly with the big expressive Disney-esque eyes. While I’ll admit at first I thought they looked a little too odd they grew on me over time.

Also this movie is great at using it’s visuals to better progress the story, like how Miguel’s body is becoming more of a skeleton to sell the passage of time without verbally pointing it out too often.

There is just one very VERY minor issue I have with the visuals. I’m not 100% certain on this as I’ve only seen the film once thus far so it’s possible there’s just something wrong with my sight or some other reason, but I think the film uses motion blur to it’s disadvantage at times. There are scrolling shots in this movie that are supposed to showcase how massive an environment is and how many people are present in a location, but the use of motion blur makes it too fuzzy to really take in and I honestly think they laid it on too thick at times for how fast the camera actually moves. It got to a point where trying to follow the movement actually strained my eyes a little bit. It would have benefited the film more if they just left it out in certain points to make the image pop as clear as day. All well, it’s a minor knitpick that for all I know might not actually be a problem, but for the time being i’m docking a wee bit from the overall score. Besides that, it’s an undeniably beautiful flick.

Acting:

Pretty standard Disney and Pixar quality here. Every voice actor and actress in this movie does a stellar job. The cast is authentically Mexican and it shows (lncluding a Gabriel Iglesias cameo), making for greater immersion into the scenery. No performance seemed out of place, everybody got the proper emotions across. Not a whole lot else to say really.

Sound Design:

Again, pretty standard Disney and Pixar quality. Being that this movie has a heavy music theme in it, the soundtrack is beautiful and, again, authentically Mexican. The recurring song “Remember Me” is especially beautiful. This is one of those movies where the music is actually so good that I ended up getting the soundtrack on Spotify. Also, though it’s a minor addition, the mariachi cover of the music for the opening Disney logo is a nice touch. The sound effects were effective as always.

EDIT: I forgot to mention this the first time around. Not only is the music stellar but it actually plays into the plot as well in a way that’s very effective in retrospect. The song “Remember Me” has 2 versions; the opening bombastic one done by the villain of the movie and the softer, more sentimental version done by the real musician. This is actually brilliant foreshadowing to the types of characters each of them are. de la Cruz is a self absorbed, entitled asshole, and so his version of the song reflects that by being a big over the top dance number. The phrase “Remember Me” in this case is more about him telling his audience about how important he is. In contrast, the lullaby version is soft, sentimental and genuine. It isn’t superficial and it’s beautifully simple. This is a reflection of the writer. He didn’t write it to become a star. He didn’t write it because he wanted attention or glory. He wanted to make a connection with his daughter before he left. A touch like this is brilliantly subtle.

Conclusion:

Coco is tightly written with a clever and refreshing take on a recurring Disney trope. It’s visually stunning, very inventive, dripping with Mexican atmosphere and culture, and showcases some of the most heartfelt visuals and audibles I’ve seen come out of Pixar in a very long time. Really, my only problem with it was the use of motion blur at times, and that’s me REALLY stretching for something bad to say about it that I’m not even entirely sure I can back up. It’s a great film to take your kids to or to see for yourself if you’re an animation fan.

Story: 2/2

Animation/Art Design: 3.9/4

Acting: 2/2

Sound Design: 2/2

Final verdict; 9.9/10 - DAMN close to perfect.