#also they're all aromantic bisexuals bc i said so

[aro-culture-is]

Hey, I’m still a minor but I’ve been really stressing about this lately. I really want to know if aromantic is the right label for me, since I previously identified as a bisexual.

I’ve, like, NEVER had a crush. I want to. I love romance novels, couples, the idea of romance. But then I talked to my friends and family and realized that what I thought was a crush just…wasn’t.

I didn’t feel butterflies, or nervous, or ANYTHING. I genuinely thought butterflies in your stomach was something that people made up, like getting nosebleeds when something is sexually implicit or shirtless ppl r shown (stupid, I know, but heteronormativity is really ingrained in me). I wasn’t even INTERESTED in the person. Examples, if it would help: first grade, I saw pretty boy, tried to play with him and followed him around at recess, looking back I just wanted a friend and he just happened to be attractive. Third grade, saw pretty boy, literally did not interact with him nor did I want to, but called him my crush bc I thought finding someone attractive=crush. My friend got with him, I wasn’t heartbroken and even tried to set them up and tried to tell them of the other’s feelings (despite the two of them being aware) like I was a little Cupid. Third grade pt 2, saw second most pretty boy imo (notice a theme here?) had dreams of both of my third grade crushes saving me from monkeys and I was a princess and they were in knight armor until the end where they’d take off the helmet n kiss me, but I had to consciously change the face after my friend got w the guy bc I felt bad. BUT I NEVER TALKED TO EITHER OF THEM????? Like, with pretty boy 3, let’s call him C, I didn’t really talk or try to get close with him or even was interested in him, same w the previous two. I thought I had fictional crushes on both boys and girls (hence the bisexuality identification) only to realize finding someone attractive=/= having a crush. And now I’m so confused and devastated????????

I am interested in both romance and sex, but I just don’t have crushes??? I know that, most likely, there is nothing wrong with me, like rationally, but I don’t feel that way???? I’ve always wanted a wedding n kids, but I’ve never imagined it with another person, like having a wedding n there being my partner. I always imagined going solo in my beautiful dress, never stopping to consider that a partner would be there. I also think I want kids, but that might be my parent’s pressures talking. My dad has also said that “there’s only one natural orientation” and says there’s nothing wrong with having a crush (I don’t think he realizes that I genuinely never had a crush) so I’m also really upset on that part. All I want to do is fit in socially, to make my parents happy, to do what I love, and have someone to love. I’m upset and confused and I took a quiz, twice, got cupioromantic, searched up the definition, realized it was me, got scared, so I’m just fishing for validation at this point. I hope I’m at least grey romantic, because I WANT to have romance, and be happy with one person. I don’t want to be a single cat lady (no hate if that’s you, keep slaying). I want someone to love me, and I’m scared that I won’t be able to love them back.

If you read this far, thanks, it means a lot.

So, I have a few thoughts after reading this, and I'm just gonna do my best to lay out some of them

All that introductory section about never having had a crush? Absolutely classic aromantic life story. Completely the sort of thing where if someone told me that IRL, my immediate thoughts would be "oh, they're probably aromantic", and "I want to let them know we're community in some fashion, and I get it."

Secondarily, on the note of finding someone attractive: folks so frequently discover their a-spec identities by starting with "I'm equally or similarly attracted to all genders, so I must be bi/pan/etc", and then get hit by the phenomena that 0=0. Also, aesthetic and sexual attraction are typically experienced quite differently - despite not being talked about as such, usually because it's not socially acceptable to talk about sex except when shaming others for interacting with the concept from any angle, including not wanting it. Yay society! (/sarcasm)

Next: yeah, cupioromantic absolutely fits what you've described so far. But I have some news for you: you can be aromantic and still have a wonderful, healthy romantic relationship with others. Some of the very, very early first followers of this blog - and i'm talking first 30 out of over 10k - have openly talked about being married as aro people to alloros for longer than I've run this blog. It's possible, it's been done, and if that works for you and any future partners, fantastic!

But. That said, I don't get the impression that your approach to this is coming from a place of necessarily wanting romance? I could absolutely be projecting, and that's on me, but between what your dad said and the desperation in your message, I have to wonder if what you want is a close, healthy relationship where you are able to feel safe discussing yourself, where you feel like your emotions are validated, and you can engage in a kind and mutually open hearted way. And y'know? Especially as a minor, that can be so hard to handle. You deserve to be listened to, for your feelings to be validated, and to know that who you are is as natural as anything.

Side note. natural is such a cop-out word. Speaking as someone in a multidisciplinary STEM field: natural means it happens. Not 'is the norm', not 'comes from plants', not 'works exactly the same way every time'. Consider the platypus is a natural creature, despite being a wild abomination of every 'normal' trait it could fit in its weird little body. Consider that even in humans, sex is not a dichotomy and for the most part, sex is a socially defined set of characteristics. Consider how many birds and fish have 4 or more sexes. Consider the fungi, weep, and learn that defining them by sex is an absolute nightmare of thousands of possible sexes and matches and honestly, what even??? Consider that even if we only look at similarly sexed creatures to us, dolphins, penguins, so many birds, octopuses, dogs, spiders, cats, and more that I can't name in the literal 10 seconds I spent on that list, engage in clear same-sex sexual and romantic bonding. You ever seen a boy dog just jump anything that exists? I don't think Fido gives a shit about "natural orientations". Unless he can eat it and poop it out, and eat that. (/affectionate)

Some final thoughts: you will be okay. Being a minor is so incredibly hard, and the more you grow into adulthood, the more clear it becomes that literally everyone is following all sorts of rules that they learned once upon a time because it's hard to change the system, hard to change your thoughts, and not because it ever made sense to follow those rules. The idea that two people have to love the same way to enjoy each other is bullshit. The idea that you can't just experience all sorts of weird things, even though the human brain is among the most complicated things known to science and does so much we'll never live to know, is wild.

You will be okay. Everything will get better, and I believe you. Teen years are a lovely blend of the worst and best decisions you'll ever make because your brain and body are doing some phenomenally complicated things, and society said "hey, what if we shove all of them into an institution because labor laws say we can't put them in the mines anymore?", and this is understandably a really terrible idea. Promise you, the tigers and lions in the average zoo get better enrichment than teens seem to be allowed.

The longer you have to experience the world and its weird and inconsistent ways, the more you learn to just... be. You don't have to question it every step of the way. Maybe you do get a crush. Maybe you don't. Maybe you find yourself being visited by the cat adoption fairy, and oops, there's another, and suddenly there's several creatures who bring you warmth - and maybe being a crazy cat lady is for you. Adulthood is weird, just to be honest. This has actually happened to several people I know. So many "oops I have a cat now? help?" messages.

[case-of-traxits]

Character for the meme: Rufus.

For the Opinion Meme || Still accepting!

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual with a strong leaning toward gay. I usually see Rufus as shading pretty heavy on the aromantic spectrum as well, but mostly because he sees literally everything in terms of:

President Shinra's people

Rufus' people

Liabilities/unknowns

And he will go to war for people who fall in that second group, which would be an absolute requirement for anyone in a romantic relationship with him. Now, if they're very good, they might manage to carve out a group of people of their own, which would mean Rufus would see them as being an equal on the playing field instead of a token in need protection or a liability that can be used against him.

Gender Headcanon: I am super boring and HC most of the FF7 characters as cis, but I will say, I can absolutely see the case for Rufus as a trans man. Now, I don't write him that way, so for me, I'd have to say cis male.

A ship I have with said character: Ohhhhh boy. Oh boy. ... I realize it says a ship, but here.

Witness my marina.

Rufus/Reeve - Rufus sees Reeve as, and this is going to sound more pretentious and poetic than I mean it to, but he sees Reeve as the literal builder of dreams and fantasies. Reeve has taken the absolute impossible-- a floating city-- and manifested it. And not just manifested it, but manages her day-to-day running and the reactors that are the lifeblood of the company, and Reeve is the one person that Rufus can't get an outright declaration of loyalty from because they both know that their first loyalty will always be to Midgar.

Rufus/Tseng - So my general take on their relationship is that Tseng meets Rufus when Rufus is about 12 and Tseng is 17, and Tseng realizes that for all his running from his destiny in Wutai, he's effectively come to Midgar to bend a knee to who will be the new world emperor instead. And barring any story-specific ships (like Tseng/Sephiroth) happening, my "standard" HC is that Rufus probably decides they're sleeping together once he's 16/17, and Tseng can't exactly tell him no, which is the beginning of Tseng's transition from 'mentor' to 'right hand.' Now, that completely disregards BC canon.

Rufus/Reno - This is a surprisingly fun one, but really it's mostly because Reno and Rufus are the same age in my HCs and Reno is capable of showing Rufus the side of Midgar that no one will ever let him see. Reeve built Midgar and Rufus will rule her one day, but Reno absolutely pulses with Midgar's beating heart, and if Midgar was a person... well, Rufus is pretty sure she'd be an awful lot like Reno.

Rufus/Tifa - Ahh, the dethroned king and the barmaid. No, but seriously, if I have a post-canon ship, it's Rufus/Tifa and Rufus/Tseng/Tifa. Which is unsurprising to literally everyone. I can ship Tifa with nearly anyone. In this particular case, I think she's really good for Rufus, although to be fair, they probably need to work out the whole, "You tried to have me executed," thing.

Rufus/Tseng/Tifa - This is my usual "endgame" ship for Rufus and Tseng both. Post OG, post AC, post Dirge... when everything has fallen as it will and they're left picking up the pieces, I see Tseng and Rufus relying a lot on Tifa, and Tifa being surprised at just how much she enjoys seeing them when they stop in. And eventually, something develops there. Also though, I'm firmly of the opinion that Tifa just ends up in bed with all of the Shinra crew that's left. Reno/Rude? Yep. Elena? Absolutely. Tseng/Rufus? Well now. She's not sure how it happened, but she's fairly sure the five of them set out to seduce her and have thoroughly emotionally tangled her up with them.

A BROTP I have with said character: I think Rufus and Elena get on like a house on fire and Tseng has no idea what to do with it. Elena does things like lets her temper get the better of her and Tseng is all, "I'm going to have to talk Rufus about this," and when he does, Rufus just sighs and looks at her and is like, "Please don't do that again."

And Tseng side-eyes both of them. Because somehow, Rufus using that soft steady voice actually does seem to chasten her?!

In terms of during the height of Shinra's power (i.e., the era I usually write in), I can also absolutely see a literal broship happening between Rufus and Lazard if the two of them can manage to get some time alone together to put aside their masks.

A NOTP I have with said character: Hm... A NOTP for Rufus... I don't know that I have one, but to be fair, I don't have very many of these for anyone.

A random headcanon: @ladykf-writes has a wonderful OC named Drew Morrison, and just... He has slotted in so nicely to my Rufus characterization. I've always had the HC that before Tseng arrived (sometime between when Rufus was 8 and 12, depending on story needs), Rufus' training and general security was handled by SOLDIER. Which meant he more or less had a personal SOLDIER guard. I pretty much exclusively use Drew for this role now, mostly because he gives Rufus a little of the affection/acknowledgement that he's so clearly starved for.

General Opinion over said character: I love Rufus Shinra. Is he an absolute ass? Probably. Do I love him anyway? Hell, I love him because he is.

BONUS! A song I associate with the character:

You play girls like a man, but your eyes are like a child Your face is cool and calm, but your hair is wrecked and wild You hide behind your metaphors and pray that no one sees The fare behind your poker face: your dark and twisted needs The girls all think you love them, but they make you feel sick You smile and whisper in their ear but drop them just as quick The bottles 'round the back all contain the hearts of lovers Lipstick stains on the pillow and lies under the covers Let me in, wear me out [x4] Your fragile heart and your paper skin Such a beautiful boy filled with so much sin Your reflection is your very worst enemy Behind the glass is an angel, but the devil's beneath

-- Maniac, by Phoebe Green

[blackbird-brewster]

Queerminal Minds Headcanons

What is Queerminal Minds?

Queerminal Minds started out in July 2015. The origin post was in reply to getting an Anon that said “Stop making Criminal Minds Gay!” In the years since, it has grown to become a pretty popular tag in the CM fandom. Complete with everything from head canons, to fanart, fanfic and more. It is simply a celebration of all things Queer and Criminal Minds!

Emily Prentiss

Sexuality: Demisexual, lesbian!!!

Gender: Who knows?! || Pronouns: She/Her

I have always seen Emily as demisexual, she really has to get to know someone before sleeping with them.

Emily is the bottomest bottom. Just complete and utter baby. Not a single dominant inkling in her when it comes to sex

Not a queer HC, but I'll add it here: Emily is so very autistic. Like most of the BAU is neurodivergent and Emily is lead autistic in charge.

Jennifer Jareau

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender: Cis || Pronouns: She/Her

The bisexual captain of Bi-town. Just an absolute bisexual disaster and we love her for it. She's completely comfortable in her sexuality and has made out with every woman who's ever been on the team. (And also slept with: Garcia, Elle, Emily, Tara)

JJ is SUCH a Top when it comes to sex. But if Tara is involved, JJ is nothing but a bratty little Sub

Tara Lewis

Sexuality: Pansexual (CANON!), Demiromantic

Gender: Gender Queer || Pronouns: She/They

Tara doesn't go looking for relationships, she'd much rather have a good time instead of looking for a 'long time'. She pours so much of herself and her time into work she doesn't really mind being single for long periods of time. But that does NOT mean she hasn't slept with most of them team. Tara is also hella polyamorous

They're the founder of the BAU 'Transvengers' group chat and they're responsible for the chaos that ensued after Emily found out about the (secret) weekly 'Transvengers' meetings bc of a fire alarm evacuation.

People Tara has slept with: [Emily, JJ, Penelope, Rebecca] Sometimes combinations of the above, bc what's better than sleeping with one hot queer? Sleeping with multiple at once!

Tara is a Top in every combo of pairings, although she trusts JJ and Rebecca enough to let them Top her every once in a while as a treat.

Penelope Garcia

Sexuality: Queer/ Pansexual

Gender: Nonbinary || Pronouns: They/Them (and Your Highness)

Garcia doesn't have a gender, never heard of gender. So far past gender that they have ascended.

Garcia has kissed literally everyone, slept with a handful of other agents, and is the Princeps of all things Queer at the BAU

Again, not a queer HC but Garcia is 100% ADHD. That's just an absolutely true fact about them.

Jordan Todd

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender: Demigirl || Pronouns: She/They

Jordan is the type of person who walks into the queer club and everyone stops to stare. They command attention anywhere they go, even when she's not even trying. Just alluring AF and it's not her fault!!!

Jordan for sure dated Emily when she was filling in for JJ in S4. Jordan caught feelings really bad for Emily, but Emily got scared about someone getting that close to getting past her defences so she sort of ghosted Jordan. (Emily still regrets this)

Alex Blake

Sexuality: Bisexual/Queer

Gender: (I hate that all I want to say here is: Yes, Daddy) || Pronouns: She/Her

Alex is super polyamorous and fine with casual sex with friends. She's confident AF and happy to Dom any of the women of the BAU

Alex and Emily slept together before Emily left in '200'.

Alex also had a thing with Strauss before Strauss tried to ruin her career.

Elle Greenaway

Sexuality: Pansexual, Aromantic

Gender: Agender || Pronouns: She/They

Oh god, Elle is the Toppest Top. Like, she'd give Tara a run for their money.

Elle and JJ used to sleep together as friends with benefits before Elle left

At some point, who knows when or how, Elle and Emily slept together and it was some of the best sex either of them have ever had.

A non-exhaustive list of people Elle has fucked into oblivion with her hand around their throat: JJ, Emily, Derek, Reid, Garcia

A non-exhaustive list of people Elle WOULD fuck into oblivion if she met them: Alex, Luke, Tara, Jordan

Ashley Seaver

Sexuality: Biromantic, Asexual

Gender: Cis || Pronouns: She/Her

Ashley really does fall in love with everyone she meets. But she just wants to cuddle and kiss and be a service Bottom without the sex part of the relationship.

After transferring to Andi Swann's unit, she met Grant Anderson and they got married. They're very happy together now.

Rebecca Wilson (BAU adjacent)

Sexuality: Lesbian

Gender: Genderfluid || Pronouns: Any

Polyamorous AF. She and Tara are very happy together and very in love and also, super open to sleeping with other people. [Like JJ]

Despite her small stature, Rebecca is a Switch. She loves getting to Dom her 6ft tall girlfriend

Savannah Hayes-Morgan (BAU Adjacent)

Sexuality: Yes, All, Queer AF

Gender: Trans Woman || Pronouns: She/Her

Savannah is a proud trans woman and she really opened Derek's eyes up to the vastness of the trans spectrum. Which led to Derek figuring out he's a demi-girl.

Luke Alvez

Sexuality: Gay

Gender: Trans Man || Pronouns: He/Him

The gayest little himbo of them all. He's such a hunk and he for sure has slept with Reid and Derek on separate occasions. He's a power Bottom.

He and Tara are bff's and they are always wing-maning each other. Also, Luke and Emily are close friends too and she will [protect him at all costs].

Matt Simmons

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender: Cis || Pronouns: He/Him

Matt and Kristy are kinky AF. He's out of town A LOT, and the fact Kristy has been pregnant five times is really indicative of how much sex they have.

He is the king of eating out. This man's life motto is 'As long as I have a face, you have a place to sit'. He's the Service Bottom dreams are made of.

Spencer Reid

Sexuality: Demisexual, Panromantic

Gender: Genderfluid || Pronouns: He/She

Reid absolutely loves wearing skirts and loves when the other Transvengers do his make up

Reid's first sexual partner was Elle because when she found out he'd never had sex, she happily offered to rock his world (and she sure fucking did!)

Autistic AF.

Derek Morgan

Sexuality: Not as Straight as Originally Thought. (Panromantic)

Gender: Demi Girl || Pronouns: He/Him (or She/Her to Savannah)

Derek was always the biggest Ally of his queer pals, then he slowly started realising maybe men really are his type as well. Then furthermore, maybe all people are his type?!

Derek has slept with both Spencer and Luke, and would happily do it again if given the chance.

David Rossi

Sexuality: Straight, but could probably be convinced to try other options

Gender: Genderfluid || Pronouns: He/They

Rossi doesn't give a fuck about gender. He's too old to not live life to the fullest, which mostly means wearing floor length gowns and looking fabulous any chance she gets

Aaron Hotchner

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender: Trans || Pronouns: He/Him

Hotch is trans AF. Just in all forms of the term. Hotch loves showing off his top surgery scars, while also equally loving getting dressed up in cute dresses and going out with Emily and JJ.

Hotch and Garcia are trans BFFs

Grant Anderson (BAU Adjacent)

Sexuality: Queer

Gender: No Thanks || Pronouns: He/They

Grant has been around the BAU for ages and has seen each and every agent who's come and gone. And has at least made out with most of them. Including JJ and Garcia

Grant and Ashley have been married for years now and they're very happy together.

Tl; dr -- EVERYONE in Criminal Minds is some flavour of queer!

Thank for coming to my TED Talk!! Feel free to send me your own QM head canons, or make a post of your own (I follow the tag still)

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

looking for: advice, help figuring out how to reconcile my feelings

tws: queer infighting (sort of?) acephobia mentions, arophobia

So, i've been struggling with this for a while now. I'll start by saying I am extremely pro my ace family and ace rights, I understand the type of persecution they face and it's horrible. None of what I'm dealing with from the asexual community is convincing me that asexuality is bad or asexuals have bad intent inherently.

I am aromantic and bisexual (not asexual), and I've faced a lot of flack from alloromantic and allosexual people for being bisexual and aro. You know, the idea that I'm just using people for their bodies and stuff. So that's really tiresome and frustrating, even the little things like "oh you're aro, you're not physically attracted to people?". Ignorance stings even if it's not malicious.

So I obviously take great comfort in the aro community. And the aro community is very connected to the ace community. Which I have no problem with! I have had a lot of trouble finding aro people who aren't ace, which is isolating and difficult.

So here's the main problem. I've faced a lot of hate and microaggressions from aro ace people and alloromantic ace people. Ace people either refusing to count alloaro people as a demographic, or acting like anyone who's aro must be ace. The worst for me is when they talk about specifically ace things and add aro in like it's just a descriptor. I'm writing this and my heart is aching bc I'm being lumped in with a group of people who aren't me!!! They're a lovely group of people but it's the same feeling of being misgendered. I can't pick a fight with everyone who does this, and if I express my frustrating with how I've been treated it's very easy for people to just label me as acephobic (which would be a horrible thing to be!!! except I'm not, I'm very clearly stating that some ace people are being bigots towards alloaro people).

I don't know how to reconcile my love and support of the ace community with the intense amount of persecution I've faced by many people in that community.

I know in my head that I can be angry at arophobic aces, but if I try to talk about it, and even in my emotions, it's so hard.

Hi anon, 

I’m so sorry this has been impacting you in such a painful way - I deeply sympathize because though I’m aspec myself, I am not aro, so I found myself nodding along to several points you made along the way in your post when trying to navigate the community where I’ve also mainly stumbled on people who identify with both.

At the end of the day it is a spectrum - well all sexuality is - but there is a wide coverage here, and unfortunately with not enough resources, representation and education about the asexuality spectrum many of us get lumped together in not only ignorant ways, but painful and even abusive ones, too.  All that being said, at the end of the day, there is a huge difference between making bigoted commentary about a group of people, and responding to commentary about a group of people that includes you (and I’m very sorry to hear that some people mislabeled your advocacy of what is said to you and/or how you are spoken to/about as being automatically aphobic).

Of course we cannot argue with everyone we come across, but it’s equally valid to want to be surrounded by people who do not make negative commentary about your romantic orientation, even if it’s from a place of ignorance versus say active harassment - if it hurts, it hurts, and you deserve a community where you can just be without the commentary based on false assumptions and aphobia (which I can appreciate might feel hard, when over 80% of aroromantics in this study have “reported not being taken seriously, being ignored, or being dismissed by others.”)

In regards to how to respond where it doesn’t feel hard, it might simply come down to a practice of one step at a time (and potentially looking into boundary scripts and how to respond to aphobia & bigotry resources) - but I believe it’s equally important to find a community of people you can just be with.  No one has the right to decide who belongs in public, shared spaces, so I don’t mean to suggest shrinking yourself into a box - but finding other people you can share with and who “get it” can be incredibly validating too as you navigate bigger spaces along your journey.  The AUREA website has both online resources, as well as in person groups, and here’s a reddit forum that might at least be able to help you find some online communities across various social media platforms?

Regardless of what happens next, you deserve to be embraced for who you are, as you are, and I hope you find a community that roots for you.

Mod Kat

[ciphersonlywife]

daphne caroline and vera were the villain trio we deserved

[holycrimin]

Hi!! Since it's pride month, i'm gunna be sharing my ninjago character hcs! :)

Kai

-He/him, is trying to experiment with they/them pronouns aswell

-Bisexual with a lean towards women, thought he was straight then realized he also liked men and other genders aswell

-Cisgender and incredibly supportive of transgender people

-will gladly kick and/or punch a homphobe/transphobe

Nya

-She/they queen

-DemiAce (Demiromantic Asexual) she didn't have a lot of friends growing up, which in turn also means she never really crushed on anyone aswell.

-thought they were Aromantic for a while until she looked it up on google and went "OHHH"

-Demigirl, and just like her brother, they will gladly kick and/or punch a homophobe/transphobe in the face.

Cole

-He/him/all, he prefers he/him but can go with any pronouns really

-Gay. I think a lot of us agree on that one

-Didn't have any crushes on girls but somehow didn't connect the dots until he was like 15-16

-Alot of internalised homophobia at first because he was scared his dad was going to be disappointed in him, he wasn't but Cole was still scared

-Idk but he's definitely not cis, maybe agender or non-binary?

Jay

-He/him

-pansexual, he does not give two shits

-growing up, he had a LOT of crushes like i mean a LOT, on boys, girls, androgynous people, just.. everyone really

-Ed and Edna just accepted it and even encouraged him to be whoever he was.

-speaking of which, he's transmasc. Idk why it just makes sense

-Had a "i'm not like other girls" phase, then turns out he wasn't a girl at all

-Is on T and had top surgery between S7 and S8

Zane

-He/they/it

-Panromantic Asexual, it just makes sense man

-When they met their father, he asked if it was normal for him to feel attraction at all

-ofc It's dad said yes, then they had an hour long conversation about attraction, the LGBTQ+ community, etc.

-Agender. It was built as a man, but since learning about LGBT stuff, he's found an identity he was comfortable with.

-also they made like.. little metal plates resembling a female and male chest just incase dysphoria hits

Pixal

-Goes by all pronouns

-Greyromantic Asexual, never thought he could ever experience attraction then Zane came along and he was like "uh oh i think i'm inlove"

-wasn't sure what it was at first, human emotions were confusing for her at the time.

-They eventually learned over time and she's proud of who she is.

-They're also Agender, not for the same reason Zane was, though. She was actually supposed to be an androgynous android, but then decided it would rather have a more feminine body, voice, face, etc.

-His father, Cyrus Borg, just kinda went "Okay whatever you want sweetie :)"

-if dysphoria ever hits, she just uses the different breastplates her father made.

Lloyd

-He/It, he just likes it

-demiromantic asexual, thought he was straight his whole life then he found out about the Aromantic and Asexual spectrum

-it told its mother and she was like "that's great honey, do you wanna drink some tea now?"

-was genuinely surprised she didn't have a reaction at all even though he hyped himself up the night prior its coming out, and also practiced in the mirror in which the others overheard and now he denies it ever happening

-he found out like.. way after his dad kinda yknow.. 💀.. so obviously he literally couldnt tell him

-Transmasc. Bc i'm transmasc and I say so.

-he has indeed beat up a transphobe/homophobe before. Multiple times, actually.

[lilacs-stash]

Tlm identity headcanons + some ships

Okay so before we get started I just wanna say that these aren't necessarily canon to my nextgen "LCV" nor will some make sense, this is just what I believe deep down.

Emmet's a biromantic (with a preference for girls), gray-asexual, polyamorous GNC cis man (he/they). They're in poly marriage with Rex and Wyldstyle!

He knew he was gray-ace for a pretty long time, but had no clue he was also bi and poly till Rex (quite literally) crashed into his and Lucy's life. Ems uses masc, fem, and neutral terms Interchangeable, so you'll often hear Rex and Lucy refer to them as their wife or spouse.

Rex's a polyamorous, demi-bisexual, GNC Trans man (he/they/xe). Xe's in poly marriage with Wyldstyle and Emmet!

I don't know why I HC Emmet as cis but Rex as trans but I do. Their just trans okay man??? Like his husband, Rex had no clue he was bi until he met them. Unlike his husband, it took him a while to realize and except that. Rex only uses masc terms. The Xe/xem pronouns are only to be use by xir family and very close friends.

Wyldstyle's a bisexual polyamorous demi-girl (she/fae/they). Fae's in a poly marriage with Emmet and Rex!

Okay I'll be honest, this HC is just me protecting (minus they poly part, I don't think I'm poly). Lucy had herself all figured out before the first movie even happened. Fae mostly uses she/fae, but loves when people use they/them too.

Unikitty's Asexual, panromanitc, and Gender Queer (she/they/sprinkle). Sprinkle's a single Pringle!

I go back and forth between this HC, her being aroace, and a lesbian. But this is my favorite right now.

Sweet Mayhem's bisexual (with a preference for girls), polyamorous, trans fem, and bigender (she/star/they). Star's dating Rose(OC) and Benny!

Feel like I'm the only one who headcanons her as bi and not a lesbian. They're both NB and a girl btw.

Benny's a pansexual, polyamorous, cis man (he/him). He's Dating Mayhem, Lenny, and queer platonic partners with Rose(OC)!

Pan Benny > gay Benny

Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi is omnisexual and gender fluid (all pronouns). She's married to Batman!

Queen's gender is as fluid as their body. He's known that since he was born. I might change them to pan idk.

Batman's a Heteroflexible cis man (he/him). He's married to Queen!

I don't see Batman as bi but he definitely isn't fully straight. He likes girls but still thinks Queen's hot even if they aren't a gal that day. Also I just don't ship him with joker lol.

Badcop is aromantic asexual and agender (he/it). It's single!

Triple A BC my beloved. I actually do have some ships for him, but those are for random side AUs and nothing actually important lol. Might end up making it in a QPR with Larry the barista idk. BC just doesn't have time for romance, he's to busy dealing with Rex's bs.

Vitruvius is an aromantic cis man (he/him). He's single!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Vitruvius is our aro grandpa.

---------------------------------

So those are my gay legos! I'd add more but Tumblr won't let me :(

These HCs may change in the future.

[eijispumpkin]

for the ask meme, sing? or shorter?

sing first!!!

Headcanon A:  realistic

nadia takes him in after lao's death. he goes to business school in the hopes of helping her manage chang dai, in lieu of shorter.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

please help him this boy develops a crush on Everyone who's nice to him. ash. eiji. yut-lung. cain. alex. the barista who complimented his beanie. eiji's sister because they played animal crossing together once. his classmate who's never actually said a word to him but did hold the door and smile at him two mornings in a row. and More.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

the day the clothes shorter and lao left behind actually fit him, he has a huge breakdown about all the trauma and grief he faced before he was even fifteen.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

fuck canon he marries eiji's sister and also has a mild panic when lil akira ibe has a crush on him the same way his own teenage self used to crush on everyone. eiji's sister laughs at him about it. they're very wholesome.

and now shorter!

Headcanon A:  realistic

he's a lawful neutral. he is used to operating within systems of rules and he'll do whatever he can within the boundaries he is given to keep his loved ones safe, no matter how ruthless it forces him to be. in the years after his death, eiji realizes that actually, he's never going to be fully okay with shorter handing him over without so much as a word of warning to the others, even if it was for nadia's sake. in shorter's mind, though, he did what he had to.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

actually this Is realistic: he's aro and bisexual as fuck and he fucks to survive, then happily regales all of his friends with the tales of his misadventures. one of these misadventures is why ash gets free dumplings from chang dai for life, but no matter how many times nadia asks what exactly shorter did to get so deeply in ash's debt, ash simply says he's sworn to secrecy for shorter's dignity.

(ash rescued him after he got his dick stuck in a freezer, is what he did. shorter cried.)

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

there's a spot of green hair dye that stained the wallpaper in the bathroom from the first time he dyed his hair. nadia tries to hide it behind a photo frame so she can just brush her teeth without crying every morning, but it doesn't work; she just stares at the photo and feels like she's trying to smother his memory.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

tbh i don't have that many complaints about canon shorter but i Will say i wish we got to actually see his friendship with lao. in fact i hc them amicable exes; they broke up bc shorter realized he was aromantic, but lao never fully got over him before he died. it's part of why he was so fucked up about it.

[autistic-beshelar]

Hello, fellow aspec critter here!

I saw your post about Ashton being alloaro (100% agree btw) and in the tags you said you hc Molly as nebularomantic and I was just wondering, what does that mean? (I've also considered aro-spec Molly but I'm not committed to a specific hc yet)

Also, I get what you mean about sg in the "Enough-tp" post. I might just be biased 'cause it's not my fav ship but still. Also I know it's not canon but I low-key hc Caleb as ace-spec so that adds to it when it comes to sex-related stuff, be it sg or not. Like you said, it's not a bad thing, I just don't see it that way personally. I don't want to play into the "asexuality is caused by trauma" thing though.

Anyways sorry for rambling lol

hi aspec critter!! thank you for the ask and do not apologise for rambling it is NOTHING compared to this answer lmao

on molly:

nebularomantic is an orientation on the aromantic spectrum! likely it comes from the term 'nebulous', meaning cloud like, or ill-defined. it's when you have trouble differentiating between platonic and romantic feelings, due (in part or entirely) to being neurodivergent. so, it's solely a label for neurodivergent people! i headcanon molly as having a tbi, adhd, and npd, and i hc that he's a little bit in love with all his friends, but has trouble telling if it's in a platonic or romantic way, or somewhere inbetween or outside of that.

molly i think feels a lot, but has a lot of trouble working out what it is exactly he's feeling. he's the same with gender - pinpointing what it is is impossible, he just knows he's feeling a lot of it. he's more focused on just doing whatever makes him happy - if he wants to wear a dress one day he will, if he wants to sleep with someone and they want to sleep with him, he will, if he wants to give yasha 500 forehead kisses a day he will

on caleb:

as for caleb, yes i headcanon him as aspec as well, although i actually do think it's due to trauma for him! he gave me such strong asexual vibes in the beginning of the campaign, and i think he's slowly becoming more comfortable with it. especially with essek being demi, and caleb being somewhere on the bi ace spectrum (i feel like it probably goes up and down, depending on how he's doing mentally, i think he probably uses bisexual and asexual interchangeably), i think they're a great match for each other as they'll both be very understanding

(cw for sexual assault/trauma mention)

i can totally understand feeling uncomfortable with headcanoning him as ace-due-to-trauma, esp since there's such a harmful stereotype that people are only asexual because they're broken, or because we're mentally ill or have some kind of deficit. but sexuality is fluid, and mental illness and trauma can change so much about a person, so while the stereotype is bullshit, sometimes that really can be a person's experience. i think it would make a lot of sense if caleb was aspec bc of his sexual and relationship trauma from being a volstrucker and with astrid and wulf. i've talked to aces who are ace due to trauma like that, who just lose sexual attraction because of what happened to them. they might not have been 'born' that way, but their experience is still an asexual one, yknow?

especially when there's such great aro and ace rep in cr who AREN'T that way because of trauma - like caduceus, who is so kind and loving and very content with being aroace, like essek who, while traumatised, his being demisexual seems to have nothing to with that. there are so many different aspec experiences and it's nice to see that diversity portrayed.

honestly i have a long list of queer and neurodivergent headcanons for everyone (i have thoughts on cr1 as well, but i'm still early campaign for that)

also HELL YEAH aroallo ashton fanclub

[miracvlovs]

✗✗✗   you see [ kaleb yıldırım ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis male ] is up to no good. [ he / him ] has been here for [ five years ] now but they’re still pretty [ abrasive ] which is fine because they’re also [ debonair ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-eight ] year old [ hitman for hire ] actually looks like a lot like [ alperen duymaz ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ strong cigarettes & even stronger whiskey ].

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie ( a.k.a an irish doofus who is utter plot trash and the actual WORST at keeping track with discord messages, oops ) and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! anywho, this is my first kiddo kaleb and he is … how do you say … morally grey. basically his morals are very questionable in every aspect. but! on the plus side, he’s very talented and good at his job even if he is ruthless and callous, oop. he is … the worst and also lowkey messed up inside tbh so pls excuse his blunt and sarcastic nature. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord ( chrissie.#9606 ) and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

KALEB EMER YILDIRIM     —     twenty-eight, hitman for hire,   +   one snarky son of a gun   /   troubled dude with daddy issues   /   all issues tbh ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dried blood caked into the grooves of cut knuckles, the lingering scent of smoke and gasoline, silver slivers of past scarring, five o’clock shadow peppering a blunt jawline, discolourations of blue and purple decorating battered hands, a subtle smirk etched upon a devious countenance, calloused fingertips riddled with small paper cuts, dark circles under almost-black eyes, the noise of screeching tires in the middle of the night, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, white shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly grin under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a car engine, & clenched, white-knuckled fists.

nicknames. kal.

date of birth. november third.

gender. cis male.

pronouns. he + him.

birthplace. manhattan, nyc.

orientation. bisexual + aromantic.

education. bachelor of music degree obtained from manhattan school of music.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, turkish, spanish, & french.

negative traits. haughty, abrasive, enigmatic, cynical, temperamental, calculating, hedonistic, distant, sarcastic, & volatile.

positive traits. adept, diligent, charming, resilient, candid, adept, charming, audacious, determined, & resourceful.

strengths. efficient, energetic, self-confident, strong-willed, strategic thinker, charismatic, & inspiring.

weaknesses. stubborn, dominant, intolerant, impatient, arrogant, poor handling of emotions, cold, & ruthless.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, lock-picking, carjacking, hand-to-hand combat, automobile knowledge, tracking people down, & excellent problem-solving abilities. 

physiology. dark brown eyes. dark brown hair. six feet, one inch tall. of a lean, broad stature with a straight posture and evident height. has a few silvery scars littered across his skin. has a few tattoos in a few less visible places. is ambidextrous.

psychology. scorpio zodiac. water element. slytherin house. entj-a. chaotic neutral. type eight enneagram. choleric temperament. interpersonal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs, cocaine, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and insomnia. his vices are lust, wrath and pride. his virtues are ... honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   infidelity, divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse, cancer, death, car crash, funeral, blood, murder, suicide mention, gun mention, & various references to death and murder. 

a synopsis.   ah, here he is—my tol, troubled, grouchy son : ' ) don't u just adore ur resident trashy, snarky, but precious and sad fuckboi muse? bc i know I DO! anyways, before i digress, i'll cut to the chase. so, waaay before he blessed the universe with his presence, his mother ( who was originally from turkey ) moved to the states where she met one alexander hale. you can probably guess the rest: the pair married, they had children, everything seemed to be going swimmingly, yada yada. here’s a lil background: the hale family—a line of manhattan-born businessmen / lawyers / diplomats etc. they're dripping in wealth, not always as squeaky clean as they portray themselves as to be. kaleb’s dad was a douche, expected both of his sons to follow in his shadow and become lawyers, ran around behind his wife's back: the whole shoot and shebang of a classic a-hole. he always kind of ignored kaleb in favour of his eldest son joshua so kaleb kinda became hard-hearted and resentful due to the lack of his father's attention. skip a few years and he spied his dad cheating on his mother with his secretary though he refused to tell another soul for fear of any potential backlash. soon enough, his mother found this out for herself, their argument ruined his thirteenth birthday party then they divorced soon after. his mother fell off the wagon, became terminally ill—all while his father was remarrying and expecting a daughter with his secretary. it was a hella rough two years for kaleb. it got even worse. eventually, his mother passed away and his step-mother divorced his father to breeze off into the sunset with her new lover; leaving her daughter with her piss-poor excuse of a dad. at this point, kaleb was lonely and angry but adopted the role of his step-sister's protector, shielding her from their father's increasing substance abuse induced violence. just before his seventeenth birthday, his father died in a car crash. of course, he didn't entirely mourn the loss. almost immediately, he and his younger sister moved in with their elder brother who helped kaleb get into university. with dear ole dad out of the picture, he could finally pursue his interest and flair for music. after he graduated, he moved to santa ysabel with his brother and brother's family. in the beginning, things were going fine. yeah, sure, he was struggling for work and felt bad that his brother had to keep him afloat. normal stuff. then, one day, things quickly turned sour in his world. [ TRIGGER FOR GORE, BLOOD, SUICIDE MENTION, GUN MENTION, MURDER, DEATH ] he’d came home to find the locks on the doors busted, advancing into the house carefully only to find his brother’s lifeless corpse crumbled on the kitchen tiles: his throat and wrists slashed, posed as a suicide. of course, kaleb knew better. he knew his brother; knew he would never leave him or his family. upon further inspection of the house, he’d discovered the body of his wife upstairs: a bullet hole between her eyes. [ TRIGGER OVER ] the whole ordeal was enough to turn his stomach but once the sickness had subsided, all kaleb felt was a strong thirst for blood. sure, it was pretty damn stupid to try and seek revenge or whatnot ... but kaleb had always been one to let his heart guide his brain. anyways, time skip now to the moment he’d uncovered his brother’s entanglement with some dodgy loan shark, drug dealing criminals who were responsible for his murder. in the end, he’d hunted them down and eradicated them one by one, over a span of weeks. at first, he hated himself and what his desire for vengeance had turned him into but he kept going until he’d got them all: until he’d grown numb. truthfully, how he wound up taking lives for a living is beyond him. he woke up one day, found himself hired by some big-wig businessman who wanted rid of his business partner and et voilà, he was tangled up in the dark side of existence. i mean, was he blackmailed into doing his first paid hit? yes. but who can blame him? especially when they claimed to have intel regarding the sudden demise of a prominent figure in the criminal underbelly of the city, a.k.a his brother’s killer. it was a risk kaleb simply couldn’t take. he prefers to keep himself anonymous, hidden behind shadows, unsuspecting. death has become a job. nothing more. nothing less. it’s simply the algorithm of his existence: receive a dossier, take care of the target, get paid a hefty lump sum. and all just for enacting a stranger’s revenge in the blood of another. he moves like a deadly phantom, his footsteps light as a feather, whipping through the night like a bullet through a target’s skull. sartre claims that hell is other people. and if you were to stare into kaleb’s eyes—eyes eerily similar to having been cut from coal—you might just see hell and everyone in it staring right back at you. as nietzsche wrote: “ he who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. and if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. ”

random extras.

he has a lot of small scars over his body, most of which he can’t account for or has forgotten about.

owns and drives a black 1969 boss 429 mustang which he loves arguably more than he loves himself.

speaking of, he actually is full of self-hatred so don’t let the haughtiness fool you.

trusts nobody but himself and is loyal to nobody but himself.

has a lot of anger issues so often ends up taking part in underground fights.

he rates around a solid three on the kinsey scale.

is a distant person; closed-off emotionally and prefers to keep himself to himself.

when it comes to whether or not he is morally decent or an extremely bad person, he is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.

he isn’t heartless but he isn’t exactly compassionate either.

kind of shady but knows how to pass himself as charming. 

has been thru sum shit n seen sum shit so he’s v messed up inside.

though he does have a soft spot for animals and children.

his marksmanship is impeccable.

he’s naturally gifted with firearms and his shot is always on point.

dark eyes and bruised knuckles are his ultimate aesthetic tbh.

actually really appreciates classical music, though he’ll never tell. blame it on his piano lessons from childhood.

speaking of piano, he’s low key gifted at playing although he rarely does these days.

has a very short fuse and can lose his temper quite easily.

he has a good heart and good intentions when it comes to those he actually cares about although he’ll never let this show.

favourite coping mechanism? isolation.

a bit of a lone wolf. he keeps people at arm’s length but acts in a way where people are under the illusion he’s their friend.

basically the tall, dark and handsome trope: ( most of the tall, dark and handsome men display aloof, cold and distant personality but they do have a gentle and caring side. )

is a little snarky and grumpy but if you manage to break this exterior, you’ll find he’s quite witty and easy going.

he got into fighting at a young age. it was the only way to try and learn how to defend himself against his father.

sleep?? he doesn’t know her.

tends to repress his emotions until he explodes.

healthy coping mechanisms?? he doesn’t know them either.

is prone to pushing the self destruct button.

you can find a pinterest board for him by clicking anywhere here.

[the-scarecrxw]

4, 6, 38

ALSO I MISS U TOO 😭😭

I’m so bad at talking to people but I think about you all the time 🥺

- @nsfwitchy2

ahhh yeah I miss u so much witchy!!! I'm very bad at talking to people too but legit you see anything you think I'd like just dm me! pop me a meme, art, etc, IDC!! I'm always happy when people message me :)

(cw for brief discussion of sexual themes, not gonna go all out on tagging this thing, just beware ig)

Past labels you’ve used? + What made you realize your current labels fit you?

oh my god I've gone through soo many. first I was heteroflexible. then bisexual. then pansexual. then pan aromantic greyasexual. then then Gender hit me. genderfluid. genderqueer. then I dropped the aromantic bc I truly have no idea wtf romantic attraction is. then I just said fuck it and went with non-binary. then I back pedaled to bi mostly bc I prefer the flag over pan's flag. then I went full tilt nb butch lesbian for awhile, then went back to bi hesitantly. then I started having dreams where I was born male and dressed femme and I was so happy in the dreams and so so sad when I woke up that it hit me that oh wait I'm kinda a boy, huh. I don't fuck around much with labels now, I don't stress too much about it. To anyone outside the queer community I'll say I'm a bisexual transman, but if I had to define I'd say I'm biromantic asexual transmasculine, T4T preferred. truly the dream would be to be gnc amab but we can't have that huh. the bi is cuz like... as woman aligned I never felt comfortable being attracted to men, but when I realized I was transmasc I very suddenly had my attraction to men turn up to 11. But I'm picky about what type of man i would date. like a cis men would make me cautious, especially if they're bi bc I guess I'd be afraid they'd just see me as the "best of both worlds" sorta shit, male but pretty and has an easy access hole. A cis gay man I suppose I'd be more comfortable with bc he wouldn't see me as a woman bc he's gay. I think I'd also have that bi worry with cis women but honestly I feel so much more comfortable around women vs cis men that I couldn't be too picky. Straight women who date transmen tho? beloved. Also I'm very trans4trans. would love to date another trans person. tres magnifique. the asexual is bc I realized I don't... like... sex. for myself with other people. in person. I'll sext, I do nsfw rp, I'll jerk it on my own with porn, but I have never been totally comfortable or able to orgasm with another person (well. I've only been there twice but ejfjshdb) But I'm also a naturally kinky person but those lend well to some of my sexuality. and the transmasc instead of transman is bc I still feel a slight ... kindred spirit with femininity I guess. I like "girl" talks with my girl friends sometimes. Also if I could be very gnc and still be seen as a man I would. so fucking hard. like fuck. so yeah. also I still have no clue about romantic feelings but I think that's the autistic in me.

Do you own pride merch? Would you like to?

I would like to! But only from queer small businesses honestly. big corp pride can go home. I bought my pronoun pin from a queer Etsy store, and I think that's my only "pride" stuff. I do have a few rainbow items, like a pair of suspenders and a baseball cap my mom bought for me that says "love" in rainbow on it, but I rarely have opportunity to wear either (and I don't like hats) OH I do have a mini rainbow flag I got years ago for free at my first and only pride event I've been to, and also a rainbow patterned washcloth for free from the statefarm booth they had at the event lmao. but yeah I'd love more pride stuff ugh