#also these prescriptions are almost too accurate

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

okay it might be cuz it's like nearly 4am and im going out of my mind a little but can i PLEASE nominate the tianjin optometric center for favorite logo design of the fuckin year

It:

is deeply visually distinctive

can easily be adjusted for vertical, horizontal, rectangular, square shape as needed

recognizable in any colour

frieze patterns BEAUTIFULLY in a way that's reminiscent of traditional pottery or woodcarving

and here's the kicker:

it's the symbol that this hospital uses on all of their visual test charts

at this center, you don't read what each letter is on the seeing chart, you indicate what direction the E is facing

[rourkie]

Honestly? Forget about health insurance. I can't even get my doctor to believe me when I'm hurt or sick. And then they just go up with a narrative that they have decided before they even examine me without even listening to what I have to say.

I'm almost certain that I have anemia, something that didn't come up until I started transitioning. 🏳️‍⚧️ I don't know if it was brought on because of the change in hormones, (which my armchair research says is a possibility,) but it's something that I found out one day when I tried to give plasma like I always do only to find that my red blood cell levels were too low. Lately I've been feeling more and more exhausted, so there's actually kind of tracked with the general malaise feeling of "something is wrong but I don't know what."

(Rant under the cut)

In the past I have never had high blood pressure. Even when I was roughly 30 or 40 lb heavier than I am now, my blood pressure has been remarkably stable. Lately it's been trending slightly high, and while some of it can be accounted to age and stress, it's a definite and distinct change. My diet and exercise habits had roughly stayed the same. (Anemia can cause increased blood pressure.)

In the last 2 years I've definitely started having some circulation problems, especially in my feet, which sometimes feel like I'm stepping on rocks even though I'm not. I've never had this problem before. (Anemia can cause phantom foot pain and circulatory issues.)

I started taking iron pills in addition to the regular multivitamin I was taking (from the recommendation of the plasma donation nurse) and my mood increased drastically. I felt I had more energy, didn't feel as exhausted all the time. And while I don't think I was suffering from an iron deficiency, I definitely think that the extra iron helps to produce more red blood cells.

I went in for a physical with a new doctor a few months ago. I told him everything above (including being off iron for a few months so they could get an accurate blood test). He was concerned with my blood pressure being slightly high and attributed it to my weight.

I told him flat out that I didn't believe that my weight was the cause. That I had much more normal blood pressure when I was heavier than I am now. He didn't believe me when I told him that I wasn't anywhere near my heaviest, and seemed shocked to believe that I had been able to lose that much weight, and asked me what had stopped or changed from me continuing to do so.

He wanted to put me on Ozempic (as if it's the answer to everything) for the rest of my life, and I flat out told him I didn't want any appetite reducing drugs. I told him that my problem is that I generally sometimes don't remember to eat, and that I'm likely to eat too little during a day than too much, as I'm not really a snacker for the most part. He didn't believe me, but agreed to go in a different direction.

But then offered me a second solution that would "boost my metabolism and help me lose weight" that way, and that if I didn't like it, it's something that could be stopped, unlike Ozempic. I stared straight at him and asked if it was an appetite suppressant, and he told me no. So I agreed. I also got him to agree to run a blood panel with my labs despite the fact that he didn't think anything was wrong.

In the week that I was waiting for my labs, I started my new medication. By day 2 I just didn't ever feel hungry anymore. By day 5, I felt sick drinking even just seltzer or water. Water made me nauseous. By the end of the week I had to just stop because I felt so awful. I looked up what the drugs actually did, probably something I should have done earlier, but found out that when taken together, one drug acted like an appetite suppressant and the other was designed to make me feel fuller when I ate. My doctor flat out lied to me to my face about what prescriptions he had given me.

Around this time I got my labs back. Low hematocrit (red blood cell count), though regular iron levels. About what I expected. But of course, despite the fact that the lab said that there would be a follow-up from my physician to discuss my labs, no follow-up happened from my doctor. Apparently it wasn't important enough for him to go over my labs with me. I had another appointment with him in 2 months, which I canceled because I knew that I wouldn't be able to control myself with the amount of rage that I felt towards this man. Especially since my "routine labs" ended up costing me about $500 out of my own pocket, because they refused to recode the lab work they did to have it covered under my physical

So here I am without a doctor. I'm back on iron pills because they make me feel better, but I know it's not a permanent solution. But I really don't know what to do from here.

And before any of you tell me to go find another doctor, let me explain to you that this happens to me anywhere I go. Last year I had a doctor who I went to because I was sick and it wasn't COVID. The doctor performed a few sample tests on me and told me that she would let me know in 48 hours. Covid came back negative. Flu came back negative. The sample that I was waiting on, the strep test, kept showing as no data. This was a test that I asked her to do because I know what my body feels like when I'm sick and I was pretty sure this was what it was. I was sick for another 3 days before I went to a walk-in clinic who confirmed that I did in fact have strep. When I called my doctor to see what was going on, the receptionist found out that my doctor had thrown away my strep sample because she was convinced that it was COVID and that the COVID sample would come back positive.

I can't tell you how many times something that was diagnosed as "just a cold" ended up being upper respiratory infections and sinus infections.

I am the leading expert on my own body. Yes, I'm overweight. Yes I'm working on that. Despite what people see when they look at me, I am a relatively healthy human being who keeps in regular shape despite the fact that I am heavyset.

Yes, health insurance companies suck. But so does our current healthcare system. There's a reason why I don't go to the doctor anymore unless I absolutely have to, and even then? Usually they charge an arm and a leg to misdiagnose. I'm not the only one, too. There are many of my peers who struggle with the same thing. What is going on? And how can we change this?

[pbandjesse]

It's Christmas eve. Big day for Italians. My favorite part of Christmas. We aren't doing all the things this year. But I hope next year to start doing the traditions again. That would make me really happy.

I still had a pretty nice day but it was mostly just resting and being with people I love. Which is also good. And I got to see snow. Snow actually falling from the sky. It was magical honestly. I am really glad we stayed last night.

I also didn't sleep to bad. But I was up just about every 2 hours. My nose was very dry. At least the end was comfortable and James was very warm which kept me nice and warm too.

James got up early. I heard my parents doing their prayer phone tree before 6. I would go back to sleep though and woke up at 9. Mom and Dad were asleep again. And James had left to go for a walk in the snow. And they would bring back bagels for all of us. That was so nice.

I got cleaned up and dressed and felt pretty alright. I felt quiet. But it was a nice chill morning.

James got back with the bagels and toasted one for me. Mom would wake up soon after that and joined us hanging out in the living room.

Dad would come out soon too. We all enjoyed the bagels and the company. I did not like the show my dad was watching. Which was mainly car and train crashes and people getting hurt. It was like the old America's Funniest Home Video. Which I do not like. I don't like watching people getting hurt. But it was fine. He eventually turned it off. When I teased him about his trash YouTube recommendations.

It was nice hanging out for a few hours. But around noon it was time for us to go. We wanted to be back home before the sun went down. James took everything to the car. Our gifts and bags. Almost forgot my pillow but I remembered. Mom gave us some leftovers and some juices that I enjoyed. We had many hugs. And then we were off.

Mom made sure James helped me down the front steps because it was icy. They were both telling me to be careful and I was like. Don't tell me what to do!!

But we made it safely to the car. And waved goodbye. And then we were off.

We stopped at Wawa for gas. We also each got a drink and a snack. And it was a nice drive home. Not to much traffic. Lots of laughing at the podcast we were listening to. I was on my phone scrolling to much but it was fine. I was just having a nice time.

We would finally finally get back to Baltimore. The plan was to get more gas (which we successfully did). And then stop at CVS to get my prescription. But the website was not accurate and they were closed. So hopefully I can start this new medication on Thursday I guess. Bad week to start a new prescription I guess!

We got home and I was super happy to see Sweetp. We checked in on all the animals. Fed everyone. And worked on unpacking and getting things put away. It was nice to be home.

James would head out to the grocery store to pick up a few things. And I would work on a few things around the house. Before getting in bed because I was cold.

James would get back. And brought me a package. The ring I got came. With our baby's name. I am going to be building a little collection of special jewelry for her to be have later. I think I'm going to wear this ring on a chain for a bit. I am very sentimental and I love jewelry so I hope she feels sentimental about this too.

We would hang out in the living room. We had a late lunch. I really enjoyed my veggie nuggets. And just watching videos with James.

Eventually we decided to open a gift. James wanted to save most of them for the morning when Charlotte comes over. But we each opened one. James got the new sweater I got for them (and underwear) and James got me a replica of a coffin sign that says "at rest" that I wanted for our bedroom door. And it's absolutely perfect. It feels even nicer then I was hoping.

They also just did a really nice job wrapping it and making cute little tags. I would put the tag on Sweetp and he was being so cute posing for the camera. What a good boy.

We went and hung up the sign on our bedroom door. And now James is making a burger for dinner. I am not particularly hungry. I think I will go shower. And then maybe we'll watch the Call the Midwife Christmas special. I think that's our next episode. A delightful way to end our Christmas eve.

Tomorrow Charlotte is coming for breakfast. James is going to make a Dutch baby, but they are making it cinnamon apple per my request. And I am just looking forward to a nice Christmas day. And a fun Christmas dinner with the Fulwilers and the Chang's. I always love being a part of their celebrations.

I hope you all have a great Christmas eve. Even if you aren't celebrating I hope you are having a good Tuesday. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[anfeycare]

hello! welcome to my blog!

💙 support my projects on Ko-fi or Patreon!

💙 send things or see more info here!

✨🌹🌻 [coming soon] 🌼🌷✨

💙 my art tag here is "#anfey care"!

💙 other links: ✨ here ✨

MY MOST IMPORTANT RAMBLINGS

🖤 i don't believe in concepts like "ugly" and "dumb"

🖤 i'm against generative A.I.s and N.F.T.s

🖤 i don't allow reuploads, only reblogs of my posts

i'm Anfey Care, a queer non-binary artist and writer! i go by gender neutral words only (as for pronouns: "they/them" — "ê/elu/-e" in portuguese)

i enjoy art and science. i'm a fan of lots of things, specially Undertale, Dead Plate, Married in Red, Cold Front, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Omori, and Adventure Time! i'm brazilian, too. you're welcome to follow me if you enjoy:

art, pixel art, animation;

books, comics, mangas;

cuteness, horror, comedy;

games, music;

indie, alternative things;

queer, LGBT+, gay stuff;

shows, cartoons, animes;

thought-provoking stuff;

nerdy things in general!

i'm fairly silly, quite gay, and very nerd!

nice to meet ya!

( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling*]

(*i can use text in brackets like this to describe text emojis for screen readers; similarly, i can use text in brackets preceded by a slash as tone indicators, such as: [/silly] )

🐾 ooo, look! you found a boop post! 🐾

💙✨ about me: ✨

besides being a silly gay queer nerd artist and writer, i'm atypical, a furry, a fan-enby of a bunch of characters, an adult and a game dev. i'm an introverted, shy, and asocial person. somewhat antisocial too; sometimes i can be completely silent and spend weeks alone when too overwhelmed from socialization. (i'm INFP and pisces, but i don't take these seriously, although i can relate at times)

i'm completely atheist. i don't mind religion, even if i might take it as stories and thoughts, but i just don't mind as long as it isn't fanatic christian stuff — i was raised around these people and it got me very tired of those things.

i graduated on a game development technical course i took along with high school (public education, got in through an entrance exam, got in first place on the classification list), and i'm often studying things on my own, like languages. i draw, design, paint, conceptualize, illustrate, make pixel art, research, edit, write, and can animate and code too — sometimes i also try music, acting, photography, and cosplay. i'm still working on being an indie game dev; for now, i'm mainly an artist and writer

as for how i identify as LGBT+, i'm queer as in all pan a-spec atractions-wise. gender-wise, i identify as pangender, which in my case includes agender; i'm transneutral and non-binary (and — it's obvious but just to mention — gender non-conforming). i usually put it all in short by just saying i'm a queer enby, or a pan a-spec enby, but i don't shy away from just saying i'm gay (as in i'm definitely not straight)

as an enby, i'm also dionysian (more often known as diamoric), and any kind of relationship with me would be called this — 'cause they'd have an enby (me) in them. you could call me almost anything from the LGBTQ+ definitions and that'd still be almost fitting, but if you were to call me something accurately fitting, that's queer, pan a-spec, diamoric/dionysian and enby, heheh

i could be considered legally blind, as i can't see anything a few inches away from my face without glasses (8 degrees in each lens, but i've been needing a new prescription for some years... couldn't afford it yet). i suspect i might be neurodivergent (ADHD, ASPD and autistic, mainly), and i have lots of symptoms of depression, anxiety and C-PTSD, but also can't afford to look into those. (funny fact: i managed to get in a psychology college earlier in 2024, and for a good while was studying psychology there before even being able to go see a psychologist-) (i still do deep researches about those topics of mental health)

from the way i understand relationships and concepts related to it and to living in society — understandings that have some connections to my pan a-spec (includes asocial) pangender agender way of being —, i'm also non-monogamous in attractions and beliefs. i could be either in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationships romantically, though. i'd do fine in any, i can adapt quite well to who i love and/or like and care about! it could even be an undefined relationship — it all would be up to who i'd be with. (i'd develop an attachment, and even a hyperfixation on them, too, which would make it even easier for me to adapt,,, anyways-)

i know spanish and french, besides portuguese and english. i don't have a lot of practice with those other two languages, but i can understand them well (speaking portuguese helps, heh). i still want to learn more languages — for now, i'm also studying japanese, LIBRAS and ASL from time to time

i aim for diversity, inclusion and equity, specially for my games. that's a reason why i study a lot, and that's also why i want to make most of my creations available for free. and that's why i encourage you to give me support if you want, as it helps it all to be free of charge, and can give you a custom art or some cool extra things for a low tip!

i'm interested in:

Undertale;

Rot in Paradise;

Dead Plate;

Married in Red;

Elevator Hitch;

Cold Front;

Bittersweet Sentence;

Eloquent Countenance;

The Picture of Dorian Gray;

The Owl House;

Omori;

Revolutionary Girl Utena;

Deltarune;

Dracula;

Adventure Time;

She-ra and the Princesses of Power;

KinitoPET;

My Little Pony;

Sonic;

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared;

Welcome Home;

Puella Magi Madoka Magica;

Studio Investigrave in general;

and the Daycare attendant from FNAF

i also like to roleplay/perform as characters at times, and used to play D&D, besides liking the RPG genre in videogames itself

as you see, i'm all over the place — i'm not completely organized, and i allow myself to let some things be messy (like tags); it's what works best for me, as far as i noticed

i like lots of things! and, though i enjoy horror, i don't make much art of this kind. plus, i create original stories, art, and characters of my own, like Safey — they're my mascot persona, and they're the fox creature on the pixel art by the start of this blog post. i have a bunch of projects i develop on my own, including ideas of comics and games! and sometimes i write poems, generally in portuguese, but i mix languages and write in english at times

i usually make cute things! whenever i happen to make something scary or with sensitive topics, i let it with the warnings i think it needs. personally, i'm positive about NSFW topics, specially sexual-related ones, in regular conditions. however, i very rarely allude to NSFW — if anything, it can be there as subtext, if i ever even include anything like that at all. to my mind, these are not NSFW, but either way: i do enjoy artistic nude art, i do like philosophically/sociologically/literarily analytical thoughts and texts that could be about/related to sexual topics, and i also do like (well, you know) horror. i take a different approach on my own art that's around these, but you can avoid it if i ever make it due to the warnings, and i hope you will use the warnings' opportunity to avoid it if you're sensitive or just don't want to see it.

overall, specially for other people like me, i want my space to be a safe space

Undertale, Dead Plate, and Married in Red are my most favorite pieces of media, so i'm drawn towards them most of the time. for the characters in those respectively, Flowey and Sans, Vincent, and Bok-su are my favorites (i know, they're the popular ones... sorry, heh, i genuinely love them)

nice to meet you, and i hope you will like what i create!

thanks for reading!

see ya! ( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling]

[yuemusings]

DISTURBING THE READER

A Comparative Looks at Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke (LaRocca) & Where Are You, Dear Hear? (Enriquez, trans. McDowell)

*CONTENT WARNINGS*

General Disturbing content, mentions of death (including infants & animals), mentions of suicide/self-harm, abuse & manipulation, brief mention of homophobia, descriptions of GBH, implication of sexual assault/abuse, kink play

*SPOILERS FOR*

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke (2021), The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (2009), Saw X (2023), Saw 3D (2010), Happy Death Day (2017), Scream (1996)

It’s hard to say what a ‘good’ disturbing horror is. Is it a story that terrifies you to the point of being unable to sleep? Or one that leaves you feeling disgusted and makes your stomach churn each time you just think about it? Or where you’re left almost in a paralysed state as you’ve been forced to think of a wider picture you don’t have the theological prescription to see? It’s hard to say what a disturbing horror even is because at its core isn’t all horror disturbing? Is Saw more disturbing than a psychological horror like Get Out because it features more gore? Or is Get Out more disturbing because it features more difficult political and social topics? That’s not what we’re discussing in this essay - although I eventually do want to. Here we are discussing the art of doing disturbing horror and more importantly doing it well. I’ll be looking at two short stories for this - Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke from Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke & Other Misfortunes by Eric LaRocca & Where Are You, Dear Heart? from The Dangers of Smoking in Bed by Marianna Enriquez, translated by Megan McDowell.

Subjectivity is the root of a majority of arguments as we’ll all possess differing subjective opinions (for example, there are people who believe the Child’s Play franchise isn’t a masterpiece of modern horror and my subject opinion is that objectively those people are wrong).

But with my discussion of these books I will be heavily relying on my own opinions & readings of the stories as well as looking at the reviews & content other people have made about the books.

So with no further ado, let’s get into it.

I’ve been internally debating horror that sets out to truly disturb since reading Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke And Other Misfortunes. From Waterstones, to the author’s website it’s boasted as a viral TikTok sensation across all of its marketing and that’s more than accurate. The hashtag of the book title has 8.2 million views and the GoodReads page has 42,755 ratings alongside 12,469 reviews.

However, the reason it’s so viral it seems is due to its divisive nature - many preaching the book as far too disturbing, and even relishing in its own disgusting nature. It currently sits at 3 stars on GoodReads.

LaRocca is a fairly new author - the earliest of his work I could find only dated back to 2021 - and is a Bram Stoker Award nominee as well as won a Splatterpunk Award - both for Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke. I couldn’t find much on LaRocca except for an interview where they describe their work as “the dark and the absurd filtered through a decidedly queer lens,” as well as citing somewhat controversial films “High Tension, Martyrs, Inside, and A Serbian Film.” as influences due to their “frenetic intensity.” He also cites in this interview and in an afterword of their anthology book that a lack of belief in God he desperately attempted to achieve as well as a desire to fit in with the children around them is a major inspiration and driving emotion behind their writing.

I’d like to preface that I wanted to like Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke. I’m a big fan of horror and even more of psychological horror. I went in anticipating perhaps a gory version of Hereditary - another story that relishes in its own shocking macabreness in a way - as both indicated itself as a subset of gothic literature as well as being gory. However, I found I just couldn’t. The first story to greet you at the start of this anthology is the titular (and most ‘popular’) story, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke. It’s easy to see why these collections of short stories are named after this specific one as it’s easily the best. The other two stories - The Enchantment and You’ll Find It’s Like That All Over are in my opinion significantly weaker.

Described as a “macabre ballet between two lonely young women”, we follow the rise and horrific fall of an online relationship between two women in a chat room in the 2000’s.

Warnings for spoilers now.

In Things Have Gotten Worse, we’re introduced into this world via an Author’s note - it's not LaRocca speaking in this author’s note however, it’s an in world character who we never see who is reporting on “… the untimely demise of Agnes Petrella.” They assure us of their detachment of the two characters (“… no way affiliated with Zoe Cross’ legal counsel or Agnes Petrella’s surviving family.”) before informing us due to the police report nature of what we’re about to read, “… certain elements of [Zoe and Agnes’] communication have been redacted or censored…”

Off the bat, I really liked this formatting of this story being pulled from a police report. Whilst it was a bit confusing - I had to go back in the book to check if this was indeed an author’s note from LaRocca and if the story was true if so - it wasn’t. It helps to build on the fetish themes as we feel voyeuristic reading these women’s conversations - and every time we see an “[Omitted.]” it reminds us we shouldn’t be seeing this and builds upon the suspense as your mind races; what could possibly be censored in a chat log that already details a masturbation instruction and then a detailed recount of the horrific murder of an infant? A lot of the omitted make sense - like the domain of the emails/ chat rooms the couple use. Almost like the companies didn’t want to be associated with a murder or get involved with a law suit. The framing of the police report that also tells us in the first page that the main character will wind up dead by the end also helps add to that feeling of dread and voyeurism. With every page, you feel yourself walking down a hallway and know no matter how slow or fast you walk (slash read), there’s no way to save Agnes from her fate. It’s a cruel dramatic irony we can’t escape.

Speaking of…

Agnes is a woman on a queer chat forum who lists an antique apple peeler for sale - circa 1897 to be exact - in an eloquent prose that touches on how much the antique peeler means to her family.

This isn’t your regular Facebook marketplace listing. Agnes writes for nearly 3.5 pages about this apple peeler and its history with her Grandmother.

It catches the attention of Zoe Cross, who emails offering to purchase the peeler for her elderly Grandfather due to the possible link to composer Charles Ives. Her email similarly is lavish with familial detail and the two women continue to email, Zoe eventually learning Agnes is financially and physically cut off from her parents due to being a lesbian. Zoe sends Agnes a thousand dollars, taking care of her rent and asking her to keep the apple peeler and not to sell it as it’s her last familial connection. Quickly - quite quickly actually - the two women start instant messaging in a chat room.

About the IMing. Due to the fact this story is the book version of found footage we have no author based description - everything in the book is basically digital based dialogue. World building is hard, especially in such a short space of page without this narrative description, and LaRocca is skilled in giving us just enough to build the world in our head without overloading us with exposition or scene setting. However, I struggle to believe the setting of 2000 - despite the use of a chat room that evokes memories of AOL and MSN, the ‘dialogue’ feels like it was written in the 2020’s. It almost reminds me of the first Fear Street in that regard. I adore the Fear Street movies, but even I have to admit the first one - set in 1994 - doesn’t really feel like it’s set in ‘94. Speaking of, the dialogue is another point of contention. Some of the criticism Things Have Gotten Worse receives relates to the elaborate prose Zoe and Agnes uses - and how it can often be somewhat hard to differentiate between the two voices? In my scriptwriting class at uni, one of the things we were taught is to make sure when writing dialogue, the voices are distinct. Make sure two characters don’t speak too similarly - they need some kind of a unique voice even if they have the same accent as another character. The similar prose styles of Agnes and Zoe does lead to a bit of a difficult time reading - it can take a while to realise who’s speaking, especially with the IM chat logs and when a character sends multiple emails in a row.There’s a take you can stand with that the similar prose between the two suggests why they found each other and were attracted to each other, but I feel like that would be supported more if there was another characters speech we could compare that to - but with the nature of the story and formatting we don’t have that. Even the author’s note uses lavish language and it does still make for a little bit of having to go back and forth to realise who’s actually talking - or, well, typing.

Back in the world of the story, the two’s conversations eventually result in a discussion into some fetishes of Zoe’s. The two enter an online master/slave relationship - Zoe’s demands of Agnes leading to her losing her job and killing a salamander under Zoe’s request.

This escalation of Agnes and Zoe’s relationship and eventual dynamic does kind of come out of nowhere. It’s effective for horror, but outside of the shock value it’s not very effective from a plot point of view.

To her credit, this untimely unaliving of the amphibian does prompt Agnes to leave but she ends up returning to Zoe and the two resume their relationship and dynamic. Agnes’ insistence on wanting a baby leads Zoe to instruct her to purposely contract a tapeworm by eating days old meat. Agnes does indeed contract a tape worm, referring to it as Zoe’s baby and even going as far as to ascribe a gender and name to the parasite.

This part is a point of major criticism shared by people online. A disclaimer, I am not a lesbian myself and therefore cannot be the voice of knowledge on the topic. However, I did some research. I found an article from 2020 that stated lesbian & bisexual women in WLW relationships were more likely to report a pregnancy ending in stillbirth. Lesbian women were more likely to report low birth weight infants and bisexual and lesbian women were more likely to report very preterm births compared to heterosexual women. A lot of queer women in queer relationships struggle with pregnancy and childbirth and as such this plot point has been criticised as a ploy of using something WLW couples actually struggle with as a horror plot point - especially since LaRocca is not a queer women (although they are a queer person I’m not trying to negate their identity). This delves into a larger discussion on representation and who gets to tell certain stories.

When Zoe realises how rapidly Agnes’ physical & mental health is deteriorating, she ceases their master slave contract and cuts communication. Agnes spirals and when she passes the tapeworm she ends up seemingly ending her own life by cutting out her own eyes with the antique apple peeler.

It’s a lot.

Most of all, the narrative feels unnecessarily cruel. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by horror movie villains having clear motives even in the most ridiculous of movies (heck, John Kramer has four throughout the Saw franchise) but I don’t understand why Zoe is insistent on torturing Agnes. (I will note Zoe isn’t an explicit villain but she’s definitely the antagonist to Agnes’ protagonist) Again, the story is short and can only get so much across in its 120 pages but the only explanation resembling a reason for Zoe’s abuse of Agnes is that she’s a domme, but that kind of excuse leads to some uneasy generalisations around kink play and those who engage in it.

Another general criticism I have of the story - and this is an opinion quite a few agree with - when LaRocca’s work isn’t relishing in its own shocking macarbness, it’s kind of boring. Maybe I don’t have the attention span for it, but at certain points I was feeling myself uninterested in what I was reading. This happens less with Things Have Gotten Worse to be fair, but I did find especially in The Enchantment I wasn’t interested and was actively getting frustrated.

And another reason I was getting frustrated was because of my other major criticism - I don’t like any of the characters. I do think this may be on purpose - as implied by LaRocca’s tweet here - “I promise you—reading horror fiction with complex, vile, yes even “problematic” characters will not impact the integrity of your moral character. Not every character in a FICTIONAL book needs to reflect your ethics and values. I will die on this hill because I know I’m right.”.

And, it’s true. Not every character has to be morally good. There are plenty of characters that horror fans love despite their morally dubious or even outright heinous actions. For instance, murderous doll Chucky. Love of my life Amanda Young. John Kramer. There are also morally dubious protagonists in horror, Gale Weathers is seen as narcissistic and power hungry in the Scream franchise, in Happy Death Day, Tree is - for lack of a better word - an asshole to everyone around her at the start of the film. But, at least for myself, my dislike of the characters in LaRocca’s work doesn’t come from a moral high ground. I don’t know who to root for. I simply don’t like any of them. Like I said, this issue is less present in Things Have Gotten Worse but in the other two short stories I genuinely didn’t root for anyone. I didn’t have a reason to. I didn’t have a reason to keep myself engaged in the world of these stories. There’s a reason slashers that set up 2 dimensional meatbags as their only ‘characters’ generally are critiqued and seen as ‘bad.’ If we’re given nothing to root for or relate to, what’s the point? In Scream, heralded as one of the greatest horror movies of all time, nearly every kill we get a chance to get to know the victim that dies and like them - and that’s not even mentioning Sidney who’s one of the best final girls of all time. If we’re not given anything to like or find interesting, what’s the point of the story? What’s the point of us as viewers/readers spending time in this world?

Take, for example, Saw 3D vs Saw X.

I promise I’ll stop mentioning Saw. Actually I can’t promise that.

In Saw X we’re mainly following John Kramer getting revenge on some people who scammed him by promising to cure his cancer. That’s not a spoiler, it was in the trailer. Despite being a morally horrific character, the film is garnering great reviews and people are willing to follow him in the story because we enjoy being around him.

Whilst in Saw 3D, that guy who lies about being in a Saw trap? Fuck that guy. Even though as a dislikeable character we see him getting tortured, we don’t enjoy seeing him getting tortured ‘cause there’s nothing there for us. What’s the point? Maybe this is because LaRocca cites A Serbian Film as an inspiration which is a red flag unto itself. A Serbian Film is once again mindless torture without the plot or any semblance of humanity within the filmmaking.

So, overall, do I hate this book? No. I think it’s an okay/good book depending on how much you agree with what I’ve mentioned. I don’t think it’s a bad book and maybe with a couple more revisions it could’ve been really great. I feel like LaRocca was maybe trying to evoke the delicate torment Black Swan evoked - “a macabre ballet” - but ultimately I feel it’s more aligned to a reddit horror story in its current state.

So can a disturbing horror short story be great?

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed - originally published in Spanish under the title Los Peligros de Fumar en la Cama - is a book I couldn’t help but keep thinking about when reading Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes. Similarly to the latter mentioned book, The Dangers of Smoking in Bed is an anthology series composed of several short stories under the genre of psychological & supernatural horror.

Mariana Enriquez is an Argentinian author/journalist. The history and politics of Argentina are easy to see in her writing - especially in several short stories that feature ghostly children and children who return following disappearances. Being born in 1973, Enriquez was young but grew up in the time when “military officials carried out the systematic theft of babies from political dissidents who were detained or often executed and disposed of without a trace.” She describes herself as not “want[ing] to be complicit in any kind of silence; to be timid about horrifying things is dangerous too.” What she knows and what she believes is present in her work. Curiously, she also seems to pride herself in research - asking for clarification and feedback on any male love making scenes from her gay friends. I’d describe Enriquez work as horror that can sicken people that also has a delicateness and preciseness to it - everything is planned.

A story that is reminiscent of the themes of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is the 7th short story in The Dangers of Smoking in Bed; Where Are You, Dear Heart? We follow an unnamed woman who details over only 10 pages her journey with cardiophilia - or a fetish for heartbeats.

Okay, so let’s acknowledge the significant differences between these stories; Things Have Gotten Worse has 121 pages whilst Where Are You, Dear Heart? only has 10 - which fun fact puts Where Are You, Dear Heart? officially in the short story region whilst Things Have Gotten Worse is in the novella territory. Things Have Gotten Worse follows a queer couple whilst the woman’s two partners in Where Are You, Dear Heart? are male. Where Are You, Dear Heart? takes place around the 70’s/80’s but it’s not explicitly made clear and is a more conventional narrative experience compared to the chat logs/emails of Things Have Gotten Worse.

So, why am I comparing these two? I think there’s enough similarities to warrant such. Hear me out! Both books focus on unconventional fetishes - yes cardiophilia is quite unconventional but also the length Zoe wants to control Agnes’ life & actions down to forcing Agnes to kill a small creature for Zoe is a bit more than your typical fetish. Both use this fetishistic relationship as a way to examine our character.

The story opens with a woman detailing seeing an older relative of her friend’s (supposedly the friend’s Dad) penis when she’s a young child as well as very briefly touching on the fact he potentially/more than likely sexually abused her.

I really chose a safe first topic, huh?

Right off the bat with Where are You, Dear Heart? we’re dealing with similarly upsetting themes of someone being taken advantage of. There’s more to be said on that but I’ll touch on that when we get to it. Off the bat Mariana grabs our attention - especially as the narrative voice or narrator - speaks about these incidents so nonchalantly. Similarly to how some victims can end up with amnesia after suffering abuse.

One of the few things our narrator remembers from this man isn’t his name or even his face. It’s the fact he died due to a failed heart operation. That night she scratches an X onto her chest with her nail. She continues to detail that she became attached to a sickly Helen Burns from the novel Jane Eyre - becoming attached because Helen is dying - even going as far as to view the scene where Jane sleeps in Helen’s bed on her last day alive as a love scene (That imagery will return later). She goes on to explore what arouses her even further - as many teenagers going through puberty do - and visits a friend’s brother when she learns he has an inoperable tumour between his heart and lungs believing she could fall in love with him. However, she finds he’s too sick for her to be attracted to him, so satisfies herself with medical books.

I find this plot point of the brother actually a bit funny - not the fact a kid is dying - but it almost seems reminiscent of that cliche of being attracted to the best friend’s brother, this is basically like that! But it’s his cancer that led her to being interested. And with this, we’re invited to view the narrator as a regular teenage girl figuring herself out. Plenty of girls have their first crush be a book character and a friend’s relative - it just so happens she’s not attracted to their looks but their ailments. I really appreciate this framing of our main character - we’re provided context for the fetish in the main storyline and allowed to find a way to relate it to our own lives. It feels like a mature way to handle this idea - it’s not a gruesome spectacle, it's a character study, we’re grounding the character in relatable reality with book crushes and the like.

We continue to experience the narrator developing her sexuality via the medical books she spends all her allowance on - even going as far to refine her interests such as knowing she isn’t a fan of tuberculosis, cancer or the suggested ‘eroticism’ of quietly dying characters in Victorian novels. She clarifies herself as being attracted to cardiovascular disease and purchases a CD that held recordings of different heart beats, murmurs and flutters that pleases her so much she ends up getting rid of the CD due to the power over her as well as makes her realises she’s not interested in traditional sex. She clarifies the moment she ‘lost control’ so to speak was when she found a website where heart beat fetishists could share and indulge in audio recordings of different heartbeats. Even the way she describes her ‘alone time’ is almost medical - brutal and bluntly descriptive to the point I couldn’t put the description in this video without fear of no one ever seeing this blog. I’d highly recommend reading both these books to not only get the full effect of the author’s words but also, make up your own opinion.

It’s a subtle bleed in - pardon the metaphor - of Enriquez showcasing how the fetish is taking over our narrator’s life. Gone are the emotive prose she used to describe the sickly Victorian characters she was attached to. Now she’s taking influence from the medical jargon.

On the heartbeat website, our narrator refrains from communicating, preferring to keep to herself. Until she locates an account where she cannot resist reaching out. Somehow, they live in the same city but choose to ignore the ideas of fate and become enamoured with each other - his sickly heartbeat and her stethoscopes against the world.

“We both knew how it would end, and we didn’t care.”

A statement that builds unto itself, it gives imagery of desperation. I instantly thought of the poster of Blue Valentine - a desperate intimacy between two lovers who no one else understands. It’s curious how the only people that get extended descriptions are the characters our narrator is attracted to or the prominent men in her life. We’re seeing the world through our narrator’s tunnel vision view - similarly to how we only see the world of Things Have Gotten Worse through what Agnes and Zoe give away in their communications. I really focused on the description afforded to this man our narrator becomes enamoured with. He’s described as sick - which isolates him from the rest of the cardiophilia community as they believe he takes things too far by playing with his illness to produce audio recordings. Our narrator also notes that he resembles the man from the start of the story - the friend’s parent with the scar and… penis. With this, I build this image of possibly she’s further being taken advantage of. Throughout, Enriquez doesn’t give any indication to how much time has passed between each event and as such it’s almost like we still have the original young girl in our minds as we read. With this visual reminder of her original abuser and the fact he’s known to their community as someone who takes things too far, it evokes the idea that this man is more sinister than the narrator might be recognising. And it’s a common theme for young inexperienced women in kink to be taken advantage of and I wonder if this is what Enriquez is portraying.

As the cardioplay grows more extreme - experimenting with items ranging from caffeine to drugs - our narrator grows frantic and begins to develop a desire to maim him so as to grow closer to the man and his heart.

“But I think I ended up hating him. Maybe I hated him from the start. Just like I hated the man that made me abnormal, who’d made me sick, with his tired penis in front of the TV, and that beautiful scar.”

The statements about her lover are short and punchy. Whilst the sentences about this original man - the one who now it seems more clear may have indeed sexually abused her in some way (“made me” “with his”) - build upon each other. What’s building? Her rage? Her general emotion? Her regret? I think that’s up to interpretation.

This hatred and association with her previous abuser seemingly influences our narrator to further push this man to his limits. More drugs, holding a bag over his head, even pleasuring herself in a toilet stall when he’s hospitalised due to their play. The story ultimately culminates in her insisting on wanting to see his heart - only referring to the heart as “it.” And he responds that they’re going to need a saw.

The actual line packs a punch, as we fill in the blanks of she is going to cut out his heart to satisfy herself. The ending reminds me of Midsommar - I spoil so many other things in this review of two books - whereas Dani’s ultimate fate is still debated on whether we should say 'good for her!' or 'oh shit, oh no' as she condemns her gaslighting boyfriend to death. In both cases the victim is not a great person but not deserving of being killed in a horrific manner. I believe both endings are using a surface level wrapping of 'good for her' to invite you to wade further into the analysis and realise how the cycle of abuse can lead those who are abused to lash out in retaliation, pain and an attempt to retrieve power.

Whilst not a perfect book objectively, I really adore Enriquez’ stories and the disturbing horror interlaced. As mentioned above, she uses what she knows and more importantly what she can learn from other people’s first hand experiences to create these stories that pull us in and shock us.

In conclusion, The Dangers of Smoking in Bed is not a perfect book. The length of the stories have led to criticism of corners being cut and characters lacking development. Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes is not a bad book - whilst I personally didn’t enjoy reading it I can appreciate the book for what it is and what it was trying to do and I do think LaRocca has talent and the ability to continue in this industry. I’m just a horror fan on the internet with one opinion - you might have a completely different one so please check both of these books out and share your thoughts (be nice about it though please).

So, disturbing horror. We can be disturbed by gore. We can be disturbed by unconventional relationships with wildly imbalanced power dynamics. We can be disturbed by the chat logs between two lonely queer women. We can be disturbed by a young girl discovering her sexuality as it’s not what we’re used to. But what makes a horror truly disturbing? Maybe we’ll find out soon.

BIBLIOGRAPHY OF SOURCES LaRocca, E. (2022) Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes. London: Titan Books. Pastorella, B. (2021) Meet the writer: Eric Larocca, This Is Horror. Available at: https://www.thisishorror.co.uk/meet-the-writer-eric-larocca/ (Accessed: 13 September 2023). Q&A with author Mariana Enríquez (2017) Financial Times. Available at: https://www.ft.com/content/1c3facd2-28e6-11e7-9ec8-168383da43b7 (Accessed: 13 September 2023). Enriquez, M. (2022) The Dangers of Smoking in Bed: Stories Megan McDowell. Translated by M. McDowell. London: Granta. Cummins, A. (2022) Mariana Enríquez: ‘I don’t want to be complicit in any kind of silence’, The Guardian. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/oct/01/mariana-enriquez-our-share-of-night-i-dont-want-to-be-complicit-in-any-kind-of-silence (Accessed: 13 September 2023). LaRocca, E. @hystericteeth (2023) [Twitter] 5th July. Available at: https://twitter.com/hystericteeth/status/1676404563690045440 (Accessed: 13 September 2023). Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke (u.d.) GoodReads. Available at: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57876868-things-have-gotten-worse-since-we-last-spoke?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=0KP3oz91cg&rank=1 (Accessed: 18 September 2023). The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (u.d.) GoodReads. Available at: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53215250-the-dangers-of-smoking-in-bed?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=yUVz3vAmNQ&rank=1 (Accessed: 18 September 2023). Everett, B.G. et al. (2019) Sexual orientation disparities in pregnancy and infant outcomes, Maternal and child health journal. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6501574/ (Accessed: 25 October 2023). Williamson, K. (1996) Scream [DVD]. United States: Dimension Films. Lobdell, S. (2017) Happy Death Day [DVD]. United States: Blumhouse Productions, Universal Pictures. Melton, P. Dunstan, M. (2010) Saw 3D [DVD]. United States: Twisted Pictures, Lionsgate. Goldfinger, P. Stolberg, J. (2023) Saw X [DVD]. United States: Twisted Pictures, Lionsgate. Graziadei, P. Janiak, L. (2021) Fear Street Part One: 1994 [DVD]. United States: 20th Century Studios, Chernin Entertainment, Netflix. The Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke hashtag on TikTok.

[jodilin65]

I finally have fewer than 100 pages left to review to bring my bio up to date. I've been slacking over the past few years, so I'll need to write some new content as well.

Tom was outside cleaning the car windows when he noticed the car that’s been parked next door passing by and heading down the street. Around 7:00 PM, they parked on the street, which technically isn’t allowed overnight, but I’m not complaining since they’re further away now. I finally caught enough of them on video to get a clearer picture. They walk slowly, and they’re definitely older and thinner than Ray. Another possibility is that Ray might be delaying his return this year to spend Thanksgiving with family. But if these people are his family, why are they staying at his place? Either way, I’m just glad they’re quiet.

I didn’t sleep too well last night—I kept waking up. The only dream I remember was watching the mystery girl straighten her hair. When I woke up, I had an immediate sense that she doesn’t actually do that in real life. I’d love to ask her how much of what I see and sense is accurate, but of course, I can’t. LOL.

I’ve never had a nail fungus infection this bad. My left thumb is still pretty bad, even with the lacquer treatment. If the prescription lacquer can’t fight it, I might need antibiotics, though I really hope not. Right now, my main health concern is keeping my A1C in check and making sure that dream about increasing my thyroid dose stays just a dream.

Someone recently asked if I thought anyone from my past might be reading my blog anonymously. I told them it would make a good blog topic—and my guess is no. I can’t be sure, but I’d be pretty surprised. Here’s my breakdown and who and why:

Relatives:  What’s left of my relatives either hate me or simply don’t care. The only one who might be curious—just enough to see if I’ve mentioned her—is Termite Tammy. But I still don’t think she’s reading. If she were, she’d have said something by now. She’s not the type to sit back quietly if she came across things about herself that I know she wouldn’t agree with. She always needs to have the last word.

Exes:  Let’s just say I don’t think any ex of mine has given me a second thought in decades—or ever will.

Friends:  No one I’ve met in person would be interested, except maybe one who has been reading my bio. None of my former friends seem likely, including Andy. The more he got involved in his groups, the less interested he became in anything else—or at least that’s how it seemed. He might have also gotten tired of my blog because we became so different. Whatever makes him happy is great, but I don’t believe in God, and I’m no longer the celebrity whore that he still is. I used to be, but not for about 25 years.

I still check his wall occasionally and am glad he lost 60 pounds in 11 months with a working thyroid to help. I don’t think he, or others not dealing with thyroid issues, understands just how hard weight loss can be without an optimally functioning thyroid. That was part of his projection problem, which I doubt he was even aware of. He always seemed to have this subconscious need to make others into what or who he is. Like it or not, like a car needs gas or a charge to go, one needs a thyroid to function and to lose weight.

I doubt I’ll ever get under 155 lbs, but hey, 157 isn’t the end of the world either.

Online Connections:  A few online friends have read it before, but Maliheh and Nane have shown they want nothing to do with me, so why would they care about my blog?

Neighbors: If any of my neighbors have found my blog, they’ve kept quiet about it. Some of my previous neighbors knew about it, and I’ll likely share it with current neighbors in the future as well—maybe even sooner.

I have noticed that some of my regular visitors that don’t seem to be bots only stick around for a matter of seconds, almost as if they’re looking for something.

[jessreadsandreads]

I was checking myself out in the bathroom mirror before showering this afternoon, as you do, when it occurred to me that I need to plan a big, hearty, thank-you working of some sort in May, when I have the house to myself for almost a week, and I will also have had a couple of weeks of rest following the end of radiation therapy. Because these titties are blessed.

Of course, a great deal of my success is going to be due to having had the enormous privileges of a job that genuinely isn't bothered by my taking an indefinite medical leave, solid disability insurance that pays me out enough to live comfortably and to afford to buy myself all of the nutritious food I want throughout treatment, a Canadian medical system and prescription benefits that mean I haven't been charged anything for all of my treatment, and an incredible, live-in partner who has insisted on doing literally all of the cooking, cleaning, and pet care, on top of spoiling me rotten and complimenting me outrageously throughout every stage and side-effect, so that I'm practically never stressed and can sleep, and sleep, and sleep as much as I want and need to.

But I also majorly appreciate the niggling voice of intuition, three months before discovering the lump, that told me it wasn't the time to switch to part-time work and explore other projects - that it was not the time to give up my full-time employment benefits. Nor was it the time to accept a promotion that would have made taking time off extremely difficult. When my managers asked me why I wasn't applying, I literally uttered the words, "I feel like I have to go on some kind of health journey first." (Although I thought I was being pulled toward a mental health journey to improve my confidence, which was only partially accurate). And there were many, many times as I began treatment, when I casually put it out there that, "hey, if anybody is around and amenable to granting me some comfort and good fortune, I would really appreciate it right now." It hasn't been a pleasant cancer journey for me, but I've also never heard of anyone having such a relatively mild go of it. Perhaps too mild sometimes. I actually gained twenty pounds during chemotherapy. (I am a woman of great appetites and everyone kept gifting me soft blankets, spectacular take-out food, and cookies). And for someone who had a tumour the size of a grapefruit at its peak, I now have a miraculously aesthetic rack.

[pregnancy-miracle-review]

Pregnancy Miracle Review, Legit or a SCAM?

Why Is Pregnancy Miracle The Best Selling Infertility Cure Book In Internet History, With Thousands Of Satisfied (And Now Proud Mothers) Women In 127 Countries Worldwide?Thousands of women of almost every age have completely reversed any infertility issues they had and got pregnant naturally, without drugs, risky surgery, or "magic potions" simply by using the clinically proven, scientifically-accurate step-by-step method found inside this amazing Pregnancy guidebook. The Pregnancy Miracle eBook is a downloadable book that has been carefully designed to help women get pregnant naturally and healthfully. The book itself is 279 pages and includes loads of information on how to increase your fertility level naturally through ancient Chinese methods and by using time tested techniques. The Pregnancy Miracle does not deal with any prescription drugs or expensive and potentially dangerous surgical techniques. It is a completely natural and holistic process, as in some cases synthetic hormones, surgery, or other artificial therapies may cause side effects which could lower the chances of getting pregnant. The book contains a lot of information as well as charts and checklists to enable you to track the development process.

Based on an ancient and holistic system that women in the orient have used for centuries, Olson’s miracle cure for infertility is rooted in commonsense and scientific processes. It isn’t a gimmick and it will work as long as you follow the process fully. She used the system to cure her own infertility, so she has personal experience and successfully relates to the heartache women who can’t fall pregnant suffer from. The Pregnancy Miracle eBook has been proven to increase your chances of getting pregnant if you’re willing to follow the steps. Like a diet or exercise program, you will reap the benefits if you are consistent in following the program that Lisa lays out. This book does not only tell you how to get pregnant, but it also extends to helping you create a balanced and healthy feminine body that will support your bid to take in and give birth to your child. The regime is super simple to follow, as it is 100% natural and based on over 65,000 hours of research. It’s broken down into different sections for easy, stress-free reading, complete with acupressure diagrams, food lists, cleanses, juice blends, Qi exercises and more. This program does not produce instant results but walks you through a whole lifestyle change that enables you to give birth to as many children as you want in the coming years of your life. In addition to that, it will also work even for women suffering from gynecological problems, hormonal imbalances or other related medical conditions. Now, you know I can’t say that you’ll definitely get pregnant. That’s just not realistic, and I don’t want to make any promises. However, this is a step in the right direction and I believe the advice will certainty help you.  

When it comes to conceiving, you can cure infertility and get pregnant naturally without using harmful drugs or chemicals. It can happen if you focus on restoring the balance of energy in your body. You can feel hopeful that this balance will create the miracle of pregnancy and become the most precious gift ever. The only side effect this system has is that you’re chances of having a baby within 2-3 months are going to increase, and so too are your answers to infertility. You will not have to worry about adverse reactions, or any unwanted side effects because the book is all about natural remedies. Therefore, it’s safe. This book has a high chance of working for you as long as you follow the program exactly as described. It doesn’t matter if you are in your 30s or 40s and think you are too old to have a baby – this book will still be able to help you. When the book was tested on a group of 36 women, 26 out of the 36 were showing signs of pregnancy after the 2 months of using the book, and even comes with a 60 Day Money Back Guarantee so you can try it out with confidence.

Click to Download The Pregnancy Miracle System

[mas1blogs]

Navigating US Sales Tax: Insights for Foreign Businesses

Introduction

Thinking about expanding your business in the US may seem enticing but you must be ready to understand the daunting US Sales Tax system before that.

Navigating your way through the sales tax system is an essential step to accessing the vast potential of the US market. As a foreign entity, there could be many pitfalls and daunting compliances. Not having the proper US sales tax system knowledge will only work in your competitor’s favor.

So let the experts handle the complex, and break down the basics for you in easy-to-understand terms. 

Why must you understand the US Sales Tax?

Sales tax is a consumption-based tax levied on the sales of goods and certain services in the United States. However, the US doesn’t follow the VAT(value-added tax) systems like other countries do. Rather US sales tax is imposed on a state-level basis which means the rates can significantly vary from one state to another. Thus, for foreign businesses in the US, it can become an intricate and challenging matter to comprehend.

The X-Factor of US Sales Tax: Nexus and Economic Nexus

While handling your tax from US business, there is one word you will definitely get to hear and that is Nexus. Nexus can be understood as a significant connection or presence in a state which defines the sales tax for a business. 

Nexus was used to be applied when businesses have a physical presence in a state. For example, having a warehouse or store would invite taxes from the state. However, after the 2018 case of “South Dakota v. Wayfair”, the US Supreme Court ordered to consider economic activity in Nexus too.

Economic Nexus implies that having certain sales in a state can also trigger sales tax collection even without the physical presence. It considers a threshold amount of sales or a specific number of transactions. Therefore, one has to closely monitor their sales and business in different states while having state-specific guidelines.

How to get a Sales Tax Permit?

After getting the Nexus established, the next step is to get a US Sales Tax Permit. Foreign Business Owners must request a sales tax permit for each state where they have a presence. For this, you will be asked to submit an application to the State’s Tax Authority. Provide them with the essential business information, and then designate a person to handle your sales tax matters.

Figuring out what gets Taxed?

As if understanding the nexus wasn’t enough, the US Sales Tax System is complicated when it comes to understanding the taxable items too. Different states have different considerations for taxable items. In order to ensure that you are not getting tax charged unnecessarily, you must familiarize yourself with the state-wise rules.

In some US states, it is applied on almost every item; whereas, in other states, there are tax exempted goods and services. These tax exemptions may include items like groceries, medications, prescriptions, etc. Being mindful of these can help you to report accurate taxes.

Next Step: Tax Collection and Remittance

It isn’t a rocket-science now, is it?

Once you have established Nexus and done your homework on taxable items, all you need to do is collect the sales taxes. To maintain compliance, you must charge the accurate amount of taxes from the customers. Being a Foreign Business in the US or being unaware of the right amount will not work as an excuse with the authorities.

Along with the collection, you must be well-versed in the sales-tax remittance frequency as well as the method per the state. On one hand, where some states follow monthly tax remittance rules, other states follow quarterly or annual tax remittance. To avoid penalties or additional interests on the tax amount, it is suggested to mark the important dates on your calendar and never miss them.

Keep the Exemption Certificates ready

While doing business in the US, it is possible to encounter tax-exempt customers as well. They may be resellers, non-profit organizations, or government entities. In order to avoid charging tax from these customers, you must collect valid exemption certificates. Keep these certificates as safe records to be used in the future.

Stay one step ahead: Leverage Technology

Being a Foreign Business in the US that is new to the system, you can turn to sales tax software for an advantage. Utilization of technology can become one of your best decisions ever.

Be it tax calculations, collection, or reporting, you can automate it all. See it as an investment that can save hours of your time while reducing the risk of errors as well.

Conclusion

We know it was a load of information to process in a go. So, here is a sneak-peak. To successfully be on the top of the US Sales Tax system as a Foreign Business, you must do the following:

Keep a close eye on Nexus/Economic Nexus

Get your Sales Tax Permit

Collect and Remit accurate amounts of tax

Utilize Sales Tax software as your sidekick

When looked at with a confused sight, these steps might seem exhausting. But once understood, these can help you to rock the US market with your business passion. However, if it still feels like you need assistance, you can always seek an expert to have your back.

If you are looking to file Federal Tax, know which one fits your business needs; Form 941 or Form 944.

[awrkive]

[TEASER] LOVE LESSONS, pt. 2 (M) — JJK.

jungkook and you talked about the deal more, escalating it to new heights.

PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader

GENRE smut, kind of fluffy tbh, r18+

WORD COUNT 816 words for this teaser but the final chapter word count is 8.9k 

WARNINGS/MISC virgin!reader, kinda spoiled brat!!reader lol, childhood friend-ish!jk, college!au, jk college course reveal 😁 explicit sexual content. again, (awkward?) first times 

NOTES  im so excited to be posting this! i also did not realize that its been almost a year since part 1 was posted lol. click read more to see important note in the end!!

[ READ PART 1 HERE ]

FULL VERSION OUT NOW. READ HERE !

"Uhm, do you really wanna do it?" You asked. Again. For the second time that night. "Because, it's totally okay if you changed your mind."

Jungkook arched his brow. "I already said I would do it."

"Yeah, but maybe you were just saying that to get me off your back."

He rolled his eyes. "You and your assumptions…"

There was a fat pout on your lips after hearing those words.

"I said I'll do it and I will. I was just thinking that maybe we can establish some rules? Some boundaries, for you and I, both. Just so we know that there's no one taking advantage of the other. Like, I don't want you to think that I'm in on this because I'm some – perverted guy preying on your lack of experience, you know?"

Your heart melted at that. Jungkook was fairly annoying at times. He was such a perfectionist, a stickler to rules, always playing your bodyguard, always telling on your father of things you did that he disapproved of. But thinking about it, he never really overstepped. Yeah, he was a perfectionist. But that was because he knew exactly what he wanted and that was great. He was a stickler to rules but he was never a killjoy. He only stuck his nose to business he was personally involved in… and admittedly, he only ever told on your father when you did (again, admittedly) stupid things. It was even more accurate to think that maybe, you were the annoying one. Always pushing at his buttons… being stubborn… and he tolerated that. A lot of times throughout the years you've known each other.

"That's really sweet of you, Bunny."

The nickname earned you a groan from him. And it was perfect! Because you were feeling mushy all of a sudden but you didn't want to and so calling him the nickname he loathed gave you the opportunity to ease the mood again.

Jungkook grunted your name and rolled his eyes, and you only laughed at the scrunch of his face because it was always funny to see him so disgruntled by that nickname. And he looked extra cute with his fluffy, overgrown hair and prescription glasses. He wore it often nowadays. To add, the nickname was just as adorable, so you never really understood his demise. You, on the other hand, would like to be called bunny…

But anyway, he made a pretty important point.

"I don't think you're taking advantage of me. Do you think I'm taking advantage of you?" Because it was more accurate to put it that way. You were the one who came to him suddenly proposing something crazy.

He shook his head. "Definitely not. So, about rules? Do you have suggestions?"

You leaned back and passively watched the scenes playing out before you on the television.

"All I can think of right now is that you can stop it any time soon. Like, if you wake up tomorrow and think you don't want this anymore, then just tell me. Or like, you're dating someone…" Like, maybe, Eunseo? That was what you thought of after you said the word date. You chose to omit that part. You looked at him. "Okay?"

Nodding, Jungkook mirrored your action on the couch. "That's a good one. You can, too."

You hummed. "Also… I don't really know anything. I wasn't kidding when I said I never watched porn, not until now, anyway. I'm actually, really, serious when I ask you questions, even though they're kind of stupid sometimes."

Ah, there it was. Even though you liked to believe that this was all lighthearted for you (which is, for the most part, anyway), it was kind of a sore spot. Your lack of experience was an insecurity, although you try to hide it a lot. You didn't want to tell Jungkook that, afraid he might think it was stupid. Or laugh. Like he did sometimes… you were 20 years old.

But it was like he read your mind and then suddenly, he took a hold of your arm so he could look right into your eyes.

"Hey, they're not stupid. I'm sorry if I laughed at them, you can, like, punch me anytime if I do that again. Deal?"

You looked away and sighed. "You're patronizing me." You pouted.

"Okay, sorry. I'm not. Just saying I don't mock you for not having sex yet," you still weren't looking at him and so he continued, "Alright, I'm going to be honest. I really was genuinely shocked when you told me you haven't done it before."

You finally looked at him, confused. "Why?"

He let go of your arm and smiled. "You're attractive, is all. So I just thought…"

Arching your brow, you crossed your arms. A defense mechanism because you liked being called pretty and he can't know that. "Really?"

"Yeah," he looked down. Unintentionally. "And you have nice boobs."

YOU CAN NOW READ THE FULL VERSION OF PART 2 ON MY PATREON PAGE !! heres the post about the tiers and the link to the part 2 of love lessons <3 to my followers, it is def not an obligation to avail any of the tiers as i will still post my stories publicly. on the other hand, to anyone who subscribes, thank you so so much!!

© 𝐀𝐖𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐕𝐄 2022. all rights reserved. copying, editing, reposting and translating any of my works are not allowed.

[mochatune]

I once again apologize if this isn’t accurate I just barely see fics of my fave fandoms covering heavy topics and I feel like someone needs too.

—

Yb Peter x drug addict reader hcs (reader is specifically addicted to vyvanse)

—-

- Peter already knows, I mean come on he literally stalks you for a living.

-Peter isn’t stupid, he smokes when stressed so he can relate in a way although your doing harder drugs than him.

-how did he find out? He sees you pop one of the blue pills every morning through the secret cameras installed but he knows you don’t have any prescriptions or even ADHD for that matter, your name isn’t even on the bottle.

-when he decided to kidnap you is when he took action, he didn’t really mention it while you both were getting to know each other because he would blow his cover knowing you would rather die than share your little habit with people you don’t know let alone are close with.

-he originally tried weening you off so you wouldn’t suffer through withdrawal, he was there for you every step of the way but despite that he still kidnapped you so your stress was at an all time high. Your technically didn’t really recover at all and still thought about it at every waking moment, even in your dreams you thought of just taking another pretty blue capsule.

-they made you confident, like a day could never go bad with one of those 60mg bad boys keeping you mentally healthy or at-least your false perception of mentally healthy.

-productivity and happiness are unlimited with the unprescribed meds, you also loved them because of how much weight they made you lose over the course of a couple of months. Used to being chubby and now all that’s left are stretch marks from past stretching of the skin, how could you possibly quit when they offered you all these wonderful ‘health’ benefits?

-the energy of it all made you dizzy with happiness of what it would be like to take it again

-quitting wasn’t an option for you, of course Peter figured this could happen so the medicine cabinet is locked up along with him watching you use the toilet so you couldn’t break into it

-Peter feels bad, all he wants do is give you a hug and tell you it will all be better but your terrified of him and quite frankly it’s triggering a relapse despite you never mentally recovering from the loss of your crutch in the first place.

-Peter is becoming desperate for you to be comfortable around him now aswell, it’s been months already in his care. He’s almost willing to do anything for you to just stop being so difficult

-eventually you’re so desperate for atleast a fourth of the feeling they gave you that you snort some coffee left on the counter, it doesn’t work obviously. The rush only lasting for a bit but it felt like enough for the time being

-it seems funny, like a joke. Someone so desperate for a release that they do anything that looks like it will take effect in sight, anything to get rid of the mental pain?

-In short the desperate measures you took had you end up restrained with peters hawk like gaze never leaving you for a minute, you’re kept in a dirty basement attached to a pipe but even then you’re restless. cursing him out and telling him how much of a shit human being he is.

-at one point he thinks of giving in to you’re demands, maybe you’ll like him more? He cares about you’re health a lot or he just likes to believe he cares about you more than he really does but if this makes you so happy then he may aswell do this to get your love and affection

-Peter is considerably shallow and quite frankly desperate so he might just give you what you’ve been wanting for so long. He really isn’t above fueling your addiction, after all he isn’t exactly great at managing his growing addiction with you either.

-he does give in but only once, or so he thinks. The second he puts it in your mouth (rather forcefully might I add, like giving a child a tablet to shut them up) you’re immediately complaint with all his demands and stop cursing him out, you’re still squirming to get out but it’s a start.

-of course at first you didn’t want to be complaint let alone even speak to him but you didn’t really care anymore, you felt you had nothing in the real word. Peter has gaslighted you so much over the course of your stay that as long as you at least had the medicine you could let yourself sink into Stockholm syndrome

-after an hour when it’s fully kicked in you become more affectionate and you even ask him to stay with you in the dirty basement, you’re becoming talkative again.

-he’s over the moon and after a couple of weeks of giving you the meds he swore not to give you he lets you come back upstairs and your almost as complaint as a trained dog.

-Peter is an enabler who’s all about control, if you throught the was going to keep your best interest at heart for the risk of losing your affection then you’re dead wrong.

-Peter doesn’t really love you, he loves the feeling of you with him. The feeling of your warm body against him or when you just look him in the eyes.

-Peter is whipped and is quite frankly not above drugging you up if it means you continue to treat him with love and care as he will do the same in return x10

-by you convincing him to give in is a very dangerous path though, had you been less troublesome he would have cared more about your well being. it’s not your fault entirely though, Peter is the one who kidnapped and manipulated you, Kept you against your will.

-he’ll use your dependency on vyvanse to his advantage and will become more strict with how he gives it out overtime as he becomes more used to the affection given to him.

-didn’t look him in the eyes long enough? None today. Tried to escape? Good luck trying to get that back for a couple of weeks

-he effectively has a reward and punishment system for you as he gradually becomes more cocky and power hungry for your love.

-Peter isn’t a great guy and will quite frankly just fuel your habit despite how much he believes he cares for your well-being and health

-maybe deep down he wants to be a good boyfriend for you, to nurture you and make you happy but the reality of his nature is not so bright

—-

Yeah.. sorry this got dark quick. I wanted it to be wholesome but Peter as a character is just not mixable with that, he’s not a good guy no matter how hard I tried to sugar coat this headcanon. I apologize if this is an inaccurate representation of drug addiction and Peter as a character. Forgive me

[allthecanadianpolitics]

so everyone talks about canada's medical system like The Ideal bc we're right next to the usa which is obviously hell. but god, i'm so tired of trying to survive it. so this one goes out to all the politically-active canadians, because today my local pharmacist informed me that at their discretion they could and did choose to refuse me an emergency refill on my progestin meds, which i need to prevent severe period pain (in addition to my also severe chronic pain, which had me in several different hospitals for over a year only to come out of it with a diagnosis of f*kin IBS. pretty sure ibs doesn't typically put you in a wheelchair but whatever, the antispasmodics help a little so i'll take it if the alternative is to wake up from surgery again with a handwritten three-line note beside me saying "we didn't find anything wrong" and the surgeon gone home for the night, leaving me to the tender mercies of google to tell me what to expect during my recovery). anyway this is a long way to go about saying:

prescriptions should not (ever) be a prerequisite to acquiring medication. prescriptions can be a prerequisite to acquiring medication for free, if they have to exist at all; but all meds - including "habit-forming" ones - should be available for anyone to purchase. It is a violation of my bodily autonomy to demand a signed doctor's note for legitimate medication i need to function (which is typically arbitrarily selected for restriction anyway; birth control pills are regulated but cold medicine isn't even "over the counter." And don't come at me with the "people might misuse it and hurt themselves" argument. you don't need a prescription to buy a knife. it is not about safety).

doctors have routinely prescribed me pain meds that have dangerous potential to interact with my antidepressants, and almost always fail to accurately inform me of the effects and risks of each prescription. the only thing keeping me safe is my own ability to research the fuck out of everything, and doctors - with all their Endless Expertise - have failed to assist me in that research more often than they've provided ANY aid. in fact, according to the records i've been obsessively keeping since the start of my personal ordeal, the amount of times doctors have actively damaged (or attempted to damage) my health outnumbers the times they've done anything to heal me by about a factor of three.

doctors don't know enough to be qualified to write prescriptions.

and even if they did, they still shouldn't have the right to deny me access to medication i've researched the fuck out of and been on for months or years. i shouldn't have to do all my own research, but since i do, i should at least get back, in exchange, my bodily autonomy from the so-called experts. I should have the right to decide what i put in my body. Especially because i already have the responsibility of educating myself about it.

I should have the right to choose. Not the pharmacist who lied about checking my records. Not the doctor who told me i needed to see a gynecologist to even consider taking birth control pills. Not the ER physician who tried to refuse me painkillers when i was literally immobile with agony, because he thought i should try taking an Advil first.

I should have the right to choose.

I'm too tired to fight for it now. Would someone please fight for me?

[friendofthecrows]

I don't think you guys get how scientifically some "witchcraft" MUST be taken or else you can face serious side effects (I am specifically talking about things that deal with herbs, minerals, or other chemical components, especially when they are meant to be ingested, applied to the skin, or inhaled).

Like, I'm locally known for my tea witchcraft, which anyone who has looked into it might more accurately call herbology or a mix of folk knowledge and biochemistry. I stay as up to date as I can on the research, and for things that there isn't enough research for at the moment but have been used for a certain ailment for centuries, I meticulously document every use, the exact procedure and recipe, and any reported effects whether they on the surface seem relevant or not.

I'm reminded of this because of the covid that has been passing around the household, and all the remedies I've been making for one symptom or another, conscious of everyone's health issues and medication. My dad says, "thank you for taking care of everyone, Hal." and I say, "no problem! :)" queue me returning downstairs for almost an hour of washing chemistry equipment.

On tumblr on the rare occasions I share any herb-based stuff I learn, it's all pretty mild. I avoid potent shit that you really need to be careful with. But note that when you get really into it, you start to realize that a lot of the more effective stuff is toxic in larger doses. Because it's like medicine. It's chemically based and it has a potent, significant effect on the human body. You can't take too much. Now, I don't mess around with that stuff irl either unless I am 100% certain of what I'm doing and the situation calls for that level. I also forage for most of my herbs/mushrooms/mosses/etc, and sometimes, the stuff I have access to is the stuff you've got to be careful with.

Did you know that foxglove is great for treating congestive heart failure and atrial fibrillation? It's used to make a prescription drug called digoxin for that specific purpose. It's also really fucking toxic, far too much to mess with it at home. More dangerously, the information on the benefits of foxglove is just a google search away! I chose a really obvious example for this, but if you just fill an infuser with any given plant that's supposed to help with [issue] and steep it, no carefully determined dilutions, temperatures (for either the denaturing of certain proteins or preventing the release of certain chemicals) and very specific steep times (mostly to prevent the release of too high of dosage toxic chemicals) you might find yourself in the emergency room or in the ground. Best case just sick for a few days. Or you might happen to be right and feel so much better!

But the point is, you've got to take this stuff seriously if your resident witch/herbologist/homeopathic healer is, and if they're not, avoid participation or do a shit ton of research on your own to make sure it's safe first. If you're doing it on your own, research, record results carefully, ask questions of those who know more, and be prepared to stop any herbal treatment you start. Don't be arrogant.

(I kid you not, my brother is banned from the tea shelves since one time (for context he has tachycardia) he made himself a strong infusion of yerba mate as a study aid, which he knew to do because I make it for myself as a study aid (not now that I'm on adderall) and for those of you who don't know, it's a stimulant thanks to frankly insane amounts of caffeine *when made traditionally* (more than coffee, which my brother is not allowed to have thanks to his tachycardia). Needless to say this ended in an ER trip. (He was ultimately okay, don't worry).)

[gendercensus]

Supplementary survey: they/them reflexives, The Sir/Ma’am Issue, and Spivak vs. Elverson

This short, clarifying survey ran from 4th until 24th April 2021. There were 2,998 usable responses. Unlike the annual Gender Census survey, this one was open to anyone of any gender, provided they lived in an English-speaking country.

It asked about two things:

They/them verbs and reflexives - basically whether people who prefer they/them pronouns prefer the reflexive to be themself or themselves, and which people feel is more “correct”.

Sir/ma’am/? - investigating why people use sir/ma’am in areas where it’s polite and common to do so, and whether there are any viable nonbinary or gender-neutral alternatives.

This blog post will also investigate the Spivak vs. Elverson issue, which was actually a separate poll that took place on two social networks.

~

THEY/THEM VERBS AND REFLEXIVES

Someone asked about themself vs. themselves, and it reminded me of some of the they/them issues that people ask about in feedback boxes and various confusions surrounding them.

Singular they - what is it, and when and how do people use it?

Plural they - what is it, and when and how do people use it?

What is the “correct” reflexive for each of these?

You can see the statistics in more detail here, but here’s the graph as an overview:

Participants were asked a series of questions about singular they pronouns. Everyone was asked a “which is correct” question, and participants who sometimes or always like to be called ”they” were also asked about their personal preferences.

The graph is a view of only participants who sometimes or always like to be called “they”.

Verbs. As you can see, participants overwhelmingly (94.3%) wanted people to use plural verbs (”they are reading a book”) when talking about them in the third person - even though the percentage of people who thought that was the most “correct” form was a little lower (81.8%). This was lower because 11.4% of participants who preferred “they” answered “both are correct”.

Reflexives. People were much more likely to say that both themself and themselves were correct (28.3%), and more likely to have no preference between the two (17.4%). However, themself was still more popular overall at 59.3%, and 47.3% thought themself was grammatically correct.

You as a control. I also asked all participants whether yourself or yourselves was more correct when addressing one person as a kind of control question, because they is almost grammatically identical to you - it can refer to one person or multiple people, it takes plural verbs even when referring to/addressing one person, and in that situation only the reflexive changes. Many people who say that singular they is grammatically incorrect have no issues with singular you, so it seemed like something that might be interesting to compare. In the graph above you can see that 93.6% of people thought yourself was more correct; only 4.2% of they-accepting participants felt that both yourself and yourselves were equally correct when addressing one person.

There were a couple of things that came up several times in the comments:

“They is” is common in African-American Vernacular English (AAVE), and probably in other dialects too. As I don’t live in the US I’m pretty unfamiliar with this dialect, but either way that seems fine to me. It’s part of why I also asked for participants’ locations, because I wanted others to be able to download the results and see if some regions were more likely to use some words/constructions than others.

There were some alternatives to themself and themselves presented, such as theirself and theirsen. Both of these points lead nicely to the third...

The idea that any language choice is more “correct” than another is quite prescriptive. What feels correct or natural varies depending on a lot of factors, such as where in the world you learned English, and there is no such thing as objective correctness when it comes to such a broad and variable language as English.

I am aware of and agree with that third bullet point, so my asking which phrases were more “correct” was a bit of a trick question. It was a good way to get a feel for people’s linguistic instincts.

I also thought it was interesting that participants who never wanted to be called they were slightly more likely to side with the most popular view on what is “correct” across the board, and less likely to say “both are correct”.

~

PLURAL VS. SINGULAR THEY

I actually ran another version of this survey first and then scrapped the responses, because it was clear that my survey design was leading to some pretty confused and unhelpful data! Among other things, it asked participants whether they preferred singular or plural they for themselves and then directed them to particular questions based on their answer, and the comments suggested that people either didn’t really understand the distinction or meant different things by those terms, even though I had added help text.

This is my understanding:

Singular they is they/them pronouns when used to refer to one person. Verbs are usually plural (i.e. “they are” rather than “they is”), and themself and themselves are both common. Example usage: They are getting themself a cup of coffee. They bought themselves a nice new hat.

Plural they is they/them pronouns when used to refer to two or more people. Verbs are usually plural (i.e. “they are” rather than “they is”), and themselves is almost universal (with the exception of regional variations such as theirselves). Example usage: They are getting themselves some coffee together. They all bought hats for themselves.

Some plural/multiple people refer to themselves as “we” and prefer to be addressed as “they/themselves” (which they call plural they) because they are a group of individuals sharing one body.

The reason I initially asked directly about singular vs. plural they is because I was concerned that plural/multiple systems would cause some statistical confusion. Many plural people have asked me to add plural they to the checkbox list of pronouns in the annual survey, but since it has never been entered by over 1% of participants I have never had reason to do so. As far as I knew, the only difference between singular and plural they is the reflexive (themself for singular and themselves for plural), so I wanted to be able to investigate non-plural people in isolation, and I was curious to know about any trends or differences. I wanted to find out if I should be doing anything differently to ensure that Gender Census statistics are helpful.

So, I swapped out the badly-designed question for a straight-up checkbox, a “check this box if you’re plural/multiple” type of thing, with a note that participants should fill in the survey once per body wherever possible, and then I made some graphs.

Here you can see that plural systems were still more likely to prefer people to use themself to refer to them rather than themselves, though the margin is narrower:

Plural participants were also more likely to say that they sometimes or never want people to refer to them as they, whereas non-plural people were more likely to want people to always refer to them as they (or they just feel fine about it):

There’s not a lot in it, though. It’s all relatively evenly distributed, with no strong leader in either category there.

For the curious: 8.2% of participants checked the plural/multiple box.

In conclusion: plural and non-plural people alike all prefer people to use themself when referring to them in the third person using they/them pronouns, and I feel that there is probably no need to ask about plurality or separate out data from plural people in future. (Asking about this and seeing the responses did in part prompt me to start an anonymous feedback form for plural participants of the Gender Census, though.)

~

THE SIR/MA’AM ISSUE

For several years participants have been asking me in the feedback box of the annual Gender Census survey to also ask about gender-inclusive or nonbinary-specific alternatives to sir and ma’am. I’ve largely not done anything about it, because when informally asking around I’ve generally had the response “just don’t say sir or ma’am, just leave it out altogether.” I live in the UK, where if someone calls you sir/ma’am you’re either looking at home in a fancy restaurant for billionnaires or you’re being made fun of - or sometimes both.

However, during this year’s annual survey while talking about it in a little more depth I learned that there are places in the world where sir/ma’am is very common, required for politeness, and basically inescapable. Nonbinary people in those areas are really struggling, because they do actually need a nonbinary-friendly stand-in for those terms - omitting the sir/ma’am isn’t an option.

Again, the location question was asked so that anyone else downloading the spreadsheet of responses can analyse by region to find out whether sir/ma’am is ubiquitous in particular regions and in which contexts it is used, and can even check whether there is a region-specific alternative to sir/ma’am emerging. I asked several questions about sir/ma’am, including about reasons/contexts and personal preferences, and some superficial analysis is included on the spreadsheet of responses.

But the juicy bit is the nonbinary-specific and gender-inclusive alternative words, right?

[The counting formula is case-sensitive so I made everything lowercase to make the count a little more accurate.]

Suggested gender-inclusive alternatives to sir/ma’am

mx - 4.1% (151)

friend - 2.2%

comrade - 1.2%

captain - 0.7%

ser - 0.5%

mate - 0.4%

m - 0.3%

per - 0.3%

boss - 0.3%

folks - 0.3% (9)

Suggested nonbinary-specific alternatives to sir/ma’am

mx - 8.3% (250)

mix - 0.7%

tiz - 0.5%

friend - 0.4%

ser - 0.4%

comrade - 0.3%

mixter - 0.3%

captain - 0.2%

ind - 0.2%

mir - 0.2% (6)

So it looks like Mx (pronounced “mix” or with a toneless vowel that sounds a bit like “mux”) is the clear winner in both categories. If you want to try to introduce a gender-neutral version of sir/ma’am in your area this one is probably your best bet.

~

SPIVAK VS. ELVERSON

This wasn’t part of the same survey! It was a Twitter poll and a Mastodon poll that ran for one week and ended today, and I’m putting it here because it has to go somewhere.

Sometimes people refer to the ey/em and e/em “versions” of the Spivak pronoun set, which makes my eyebrows do things, because they’re not both Spivak. They are distinct established pronoun sets with their own names.

Spivak - e/em/eir/eirs/emself - written about by Michael Spivak in the 1990s. [source: Nonbinary Wiki]

Elverson - ey/em/eir/eirs/emself - created by Christine M Elverson in the 1970s. [source: Nonbinary Wiki]

The Elverson set is older, but it’s less well-known for some reason, so they’re assumed to be variants of Spivak due to the similarity in spelling.

I was recently asked how we can know which is more popular, given the “oh this checkbox option is close enough, I’ll just choose that instead of typing in my very slightly different set” effect and the “hmm this checkbox option is very close to my set, I’m probably meant to choose this one” effect, plus the boost that checkbox options get with the “oh I hadn’t thought of that one but yeah, why not” effect. Spivak (e/em) is on the checkbox list of pronouns in the annual survey, so it appears to be much more popular than Elverson (ey/em)... but is it really?

I ran a poll on both Twitter and Mastodon, and then used a spreadsheet to extract the useful numbers. There were 141 relevant votes after one week. I wouldn’t usually make annual-survey-altering decisions based on a sample that small, but in this case the results are extremely decisive:

It seems that the highest proportion of people who like at least one of the sets are happy for both to be used, at 48%. 45% prefer ey/em (Elverson) and 7% prefer e/em (Spivak). This is pretty stunning! I’ve been presenting e/em (Spivak) as a checkbox option on the Gender Census annual survey for years, possibly since the first survey in 2013, and because it’s a checkbox option it seems to be consistently a lot more popular than ey/em (Elverson). That’s 4.3% and 0.6% respectively in the 2021 survey. But this poll suggests that actually ey/em (Elverson) is much more popular when the two pronoun sets are viewed on a level playing field.

When you remove all “I don’t mind” votes, you get this:

Over 6 times as many people prefered Elverson!

I will definitely be adding Elverson to the Gender Census next year, just so that we can split the e/em and ey/em votes and really get to the bottom of this.

Anyway, while we’re on the topic, ey/em takes singular verbs most of the time.

[elamarth-calmagol]

What actually is LACE? (an informal essay)

What’s LACE?

Laws and Customs among the Eldar, or LACE, is the most popular section of the History of Middle Earth books.  It's available online as a PDF here: http://faculty.smu.edu/bwheeler/tolkien/online_reader/T-LawsandCustoms.pdf .  There’s a lot of LACE analysis in the fandom, Silmarillion smut fics are usually labeled “LACE compliant” or “not LACE compliant”, and I’ve been seeing the document itself show up in actual fics, meaning that the characters themselves are discussing it.

LACE is an unfinished, non-canonical essay split into several parts.  It covers the sexuality of elves, which is mostly what people talk about.  It also covers elvish naming (which I want to make a whole different post about), the speed at which elves grow up, changes that happen throughout their lives, their death and rebirth, and finally the legal and moral issues of Finwe remarrying after Miriel’s death.  The discussion about rebirth conflicts with Tolkien’s later writings about Glorfindel’s re-embodiment, but to the best of my knowledge, LACE is the best or only source for most of the topics it covers.

However, LACE is not canon since it doesn’t show up in the Silmarillion.  Counting all of the History of Middle Earth as canon is literally impossible, considering Tolkien contradicts himself all over the place.  It is only useful because it has so much information that is never discussed in the actual canon.  Many people consider it canon out of convenience.

Another important thing to remember is that, other than presumably the discussion of the growth of elvish children, the information is only supposed to apply to the Eldar (meaning the Vanyar, Noldor, Teleri, and Sindar) and not the dark-elves such as the Silvan elves and Avari.

The rest is behind the cut to avoid clogging your feeds.

Problems with LACE interpretations

But because it’s hidden in the History of Middle Earth (volume 10, Morgoth’s Ring), barely anyone actually gets the opportunity to read it.  I don’t think most people are aware that you can get it online, so it doesn't get read much.

I feel like this leads to a handful of people saying something about LACE and everyone else going along with it.  I definitely did this.  I was amazed by all the things that were in the actual essay that nobody had ever told me about, or had told me incorrectly.  For example, most people seem to believe that elves become married at the completion of sexual intercourse (whatever that means to the fic author).  In fact, LACE explicitly says that elves must take an oath using the name of Eru in order to be legally married.  Specifically: 

It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete… [I]t was at all times lawful for any of the Eldar, being both unwed, to marry thus of free consent one to another without ceremony or witness (save blessings exchanged and the naming of the Name); and the union so joined was alike indissoluble.

I’ve seen a marriage oath being included in a few stories recently, but most writers leave out the oath entirely and just have sex be automatically equivalent to marriage.  What would happen if elves had sex without swearing an oath?  I don’t know, but I’d love to see it explored.

Then there’s a footnote that might explicitly deny the existence of transgender elves... or not, but I’ve literally only seen it mentioned once or twice.  Overall, I feel like all of LACE is filtered through the handful of people who read it, and we’re missing out on a lot of metanalysis and interpretations that we could have because most fans never see the actual document.

Who wrote LACE?

I mean within the mythology of Middle Earth, of course.  Since LACE appears in the History of Middle Earth and not the Silmarillion, we can be pretty sure that J.R.R. Tolkien himself wrote it and it wasn’t added to by Christopher Tolkien.  But that’s not the question here.  Remember that Tolkien’s frame narrative for all of his Middle Earth work is that he is a scholar of ancient times and is translating documents from Westron and Sindarin for modern audiences to read and understand.  The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings come from the Red Book of Westmarch, and I believe The Silmarillion is meant to be Tolkien’s own writings based on his research (though it might also be an adaption of Bilbo’s “Translations from the Elvish”, but I haven't looked into that).  So what does LACE come from?

Christopher Tolkien admits in his notes that he doesn’t know.  He says, “It is clear in any case that this is presented as the work, not of one of the Eldar, but of a Man,” and I agree, because of the way it seems to be written as an ethnographic study rather than by someone who lives in the culture.  Honestly, it talks too much about how elves are seen by Men (e.g. speculating that elf-children might look like the children of Men) to be written by an elf.  This changes once it gets to the Doom of Finwe and Miriel, but that could be, and probably is, a story told to the writer by an elf who was there at the time.

Tolkien actually references Aelfwine in the second version of the text.  The original story behind The Lost Tales, which was the abandoned first version of the Silmarillion, was that a man from the Viking period named Aelfwine/Eriol stumbled onto the Straight Road and found himself on Tol Eressea.  He spoke to the elves and brought back their stories to England with him.  So it makes a lot of sense that Aelfwine would also write about the lives and customs of the elves for an audience of his own people.

Does LACE exist in Middle Earth?

I keep finding fics where first age elves discuss “the Laws and Customs” openly, as if it’s a text in their own world.  I usually get the impression that it was brought by the Noldor from Valinor.  But did the document actually exist in that time period?  For me, the answer is definitely not.

First of all, LACE was probably written by a Man, meaning it could not have dated back to Valinor in the years of the Trees, because Men hadn’t awaked yet.  In fact, the closest thing to an established frame narrative for it is that it was written by Aelfwine, who comes from the time period around 1000 CE (though Tolkien doesn’t seem to have pinned him down).  This is at least the fifth age, if not later.

But what if you don’t believe that it was written by a Man?  It still couldn’t have been written in the First Age, because it discusses the way the relationship between elves’ bodies and souls changes as ages go by.  For example:

As ages passed the dominance of their fear ever increased, ‘consuming’ their bodies... The end of this process is their ‘fading’, as Men have called it.

A lot of time has to go by in order for elves to get to the point of fading.  As a bonus, here’s another reference to the perspective of Men. LACE also discusses the dangers that “houseless feas”, which are souls of elves who do not go to Mandos after their bodies died, pose to Men.  How would they have known about that in the First Age?  It further says that “more than one rebirth is seldom recorded” (which isn’t contradicted anywhere I know of), and that’s not something you would know during your life of joy in Valinor, where almost nobody dies.  That’s something you learn after millennia of war.  This has to be a document written well after the Silmarillion ends.

So what about the sex part?  That’s all we care about, right?  Well, it is entirely possible that this was written down by the elves and Aelfwine translated it (though my impression is that he mostly recorded stories told orally to him and that elves were not very much into writing, at least in Valinor where you could get stories directly from someone who experienced them).  However, why would the elves write this down?  They know how quickly their children grow up.  They’ve seen actual marriages.  They don’t need that described to them.  And if they did have a specific document or story explaining the expectations of them when it comes to sex and marriage, why would they call it “Laws and Customs”?  That’s a very strange name for a set of rules for conduct.  I’m sure they had a list of laws written out somewhere in great detail, like our own state or national laws (that seems very in character for the Noldor, at least).  But I seriously doubt that those laws are what we’ve been given to read. LACE is not an elvish or Valinoran document.

Is LACE prescriptive or descriptive?

Here’s the other big question I’m interested in.  Prescriptive means that the document describes the way people should behave.  Descriptive means that it describes how people do behave.  And the more I worldbuild for Middle Earth and the culture of elves, the more I want to say that LACE is prescriptive in its discussion of sex, marriage, and gender roles.

But wait.  I’ve been saying for paragraphs that I think LACE is Aelfwine or another Man’s ethnographic study of elvish culture.  Then it has to be descriptive, right?

Does it?  How long do we think Aelfwine stayed with the elves?  Did he wait fifty years to see a child grow up?  Did he get to witness a wedding ceremony?  Did he meet houseless fea?  I don’t think he could have done all of that.  Maybe a different Man who spent his entire life with the elves could, but then when was this written?  When the elves were still marrying and having children in Middle Earth or when so much time had gone by that they had begun to fade already?

Whoever wrote this was told a lot of information by elves instead of experiencing it firsthand, the same way he heard the stories from the First Age from the elves instead of being there.  Maybe it was one elf who talked to him, maybe several different ones.  But did those elves accurately describe their society the way it was, give him the easiest description, or explain the way it was supposed to be?  If I was describing modern-day America, would I discuss premarital sex or just our dating and marriage customs?  Maybe people would come away from a talk with me thinking that moving in together equated to marriage for Americans in the early 21st century.  And I don’t even have an agenda to show America in a certain way, I'm just bad at explaining.  Did the elves talking to what may have been the first Man they had seen in millennia have an agenda in the way they presented themselves?

Or did the writer himself have an agenda?  Imagine going to see these beautiful, mythical, perfect beings, and you find out that they behave in the same immoral ways Men do.  Do you want to share the truth back home?  Or do you leave out things that don't match your worldview? Did Aelfwine come back wanting to tell people what elves were really like?  Or did he want to say “this is how you can be holy and perfect like an elf”?

Anyone studying the Age of Exploration will tell you that Europeans neber wrote about new cultures objectively, and often things were made up to fit the writer’s idea of what savages looked like. For example, my Native American history teacher in college told a story of how explorers described one tribe who (sensibly) didn't wear clothes as cannibals, because cannibalism and going around naked went together in their minds and not because of any actual incident.  Unbiased scholarship barely existed yet. Even Tolkien was extremely biased and tended to be imperialistic, as we all know.  There’s absolutely no reason to think that Aelfwine wasn’t biased in his own way.  (Of course, now we have to consider what biases a Danish or English man from the centuries around 1000 would have when it comes to things like gender roles. I assume he would have been more into divorce and female warriors than the elves are said to be.)

But is that what Tolkien intended? Probably not. He probably wanted LACE to be descriptive. But he also never got much of a chance to analyse the essay after the fact, which might have led to him discussing its accuracy and even the exact issues I just pointed out about explorers. Anyway, we know he's biased, and honestly, what he intended has never slowed down the fandom before.

Conclusion

In short, I take LACE to be a prescriptive document describing the way elvish culture is supposed to be, not a blueprint I have to stick to in order to correctly portray elves.  I also don’t believe the document that’s available for us to read existed even in the early Fourth Age, where The Lord of the Rings leaves off.  There maybe have been some document outlining the moral behavior of elves, as a set of laws, but thats not the Laws and Customs we have.

Of course, canon is up to you to interpret.  If you want Feanor discussing LACE with someone back in Valinor, go ahead.  If you want to throw out LACE entirely, go ahead.  It’s not even a canonical essay.  All of this analysis is honestly useless when you consider the fact that no part of LACE exists in any canonical book.

But that’s Tolkien analysis for you.

[topsytervy]

Wisdom Teeth ~ JJ Maybank

Blurb: JJ takes care of you after you get your wisdom teeth out. Not gonna lie, this post is kind of a mess

Word Count: 1,890

Warnings: mentions of blood, swearing, small mention of alcohol/drinking, I think that’s it.

I’m just going to say that this is based off of my wisdom teeth experience. I didn’t get gassed or put under, my moms friend suggested me holding alcohol in my mouth cause she did that when she got hers out and it worked for her (it worked for me enough to let me sleep like the dead, and my mom kept laughing at me.

I aged JJ and the reader to 19 cause why not.

I also lowkey started thinking of JJ taking care of his kids after their wisdom teeth get pulled and thats shows in the ending. 

anyway, small shoutout to @taylathornton who got me thinking about this after she said something about JJ or Rafe taking care of the reader when they get their wisdom teeth out.

~~~~

You walked out into the waiting room, gauze on either side of your mouth, your boyfriend standing by the counter as someone gave him the same rundown they gave you post-extraction. 

JJ smiled as he saw you, not that you could see with the mask over the bottom half of his face, and pulled you into his side.

"Just remember that if you still feel pain while taking the prescription he gave you today, call back and he'll prescribe you something stronger." the lady said. 

You nodded as you shoved the sheet filled with the instructions, prescriptions, and the extra gauze they gave you into JJ's hands. JJ said a quick thank you to the lady and then directed you to the door, every penny being covered by your insurance.

Thank God.

"How do you feel, princess?" He asked, intertwining your fingers together.

"You didn't tell me the extraction was such a violent process." You told him.

Well, attempted to tell him but the gauze in your mouth wasn't helping. The mask definitely added to muffling your voice.

JJ chuckled. "What?" He asked, unlocking the truck.

"You didn't tell me the extraction was such a violent process." You said slower, louder, and slightly more enunciated. 

JJ helped you into the truck. "Didn't want to scare you, Y/N/N."

"I can do it myself. I wasn’t gassed or anything. Just numbed." You swatted his hand away as he went to buckle you in.

He held up his hands. "Alright. I'm sorry." 

"Besides the lady said that I was surprisingly calm during the process." You informed him as you took off your mask.

"That's good." He closed the door and walked over to the driver’s side, climbing in as he also took off his mask. "Since you were so good during the process, how about you remind me in a week to take you to Dairy Queen and we'll get you some ice cream." He suggested, leaning over the center console and brushing some hair out of your face.

"Can I get chicken tenders too?" You asked, looking at your blonde boyfriend with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster.

JJ let out a laugh as he started the truck and began to pull out of the parking lot. "Yeah. You can get chicken tenders too, princess."

You smiled, reaching into your mouth to readjust the blood-soaked gauze only to have JJ swat your hand away. "Don't."

"But I feel like I’m swallowing the gauze every time I go to swallow my saliva." You whined.

JJ sighed. "That’s because the roof of your mouth is swollen so it makes it difficult to swallow the saliva. Just leave the gauze where it is."

You shot JJ a look before bringing your hand to your mouth again. JJ reached over and grabbed your wrist his eyes never leaving the road.

"Y/N." He warned.

"JJ." You imitated.

"I said don't touch it." 

You took your wrist away from him and crossed your arms, looking out the window. 

"Keep that up and you won’t get dairy queen next week. I'll get myself dairy queen and you can keep eating soup and mashed potatoes." 

"You're so mean to me sometimes, J." You whispered.

"Only cause I love you and care about you, baby." He smiled, his hand going to your thigh and giving it a light squeeze. 

You uncrossed your arms and took his hand in yours. "You're so sweet."

JJ shook his head. "Flip-floppy today, huh. 3 seconds ago I was mean and now I'm sweet."

You shrugged. "You're a flip-floppy guy. You threw me off the dock once when it was chilly outside and then gave me clothes to change into not even three minutes later."

"That's called being a gentleman." He smirked. 

"No. It's called being an asshole with a heart." 

JJ snorted as he pulled into the pharmacy parking lot, pulling into a parking space before throwing the truck in park and grabbed his wallet along with your prescriptions.

"Stay here. I’ll be back." He kissed your temple before putting his mask back on, adjusting it so it was over his nose.

You shot him a thumbs-up as you pulled out your phone, taking the time to reply to Kie and Sarah who wanted to check in on you. They both offered to come over and take care of you but you told them you were fine cause you had JJ with you.

Kie immediately replied with a 'that's why we're offering.'

You let out a small giggle before sending them an 'I'm sure JJ can handle it' before locking your phone and pulling down the sun visor to look in the mirror. 

You opened your mouth and made a face as you looked at the inside of your mouth and saw the dried blood on your lips.

JJ opened the door and slid back into the driver’s seat, placing the bag with the two pill bottles in your lap. "You know, technically you’re supposed to keep pressure on the gauze for an hour so it clot and shit."

"You didn't tell me the inside of my mouth looks like it’s having its own little period. I smiled at you with my mouth looking like I took a baseball or something to the teeth." You scolded.

"Princess, and I mean this with all the love in my heart, you look like a hockey player who took a puck to the teeth." JJ laughed as he put the car in drive and made his way to the grocery store.

"JJ," you whined, not finding his comparison cute in the slightest.

"What? It's more accurate than the baseball comparison you said." 

"Stop laughing at me, J. It's not funny." 

"I'm sorry. You're just so whiney right now and it's adorable to me. Makes me want to bundle you up and hold you in my arms and protect you from all the evil in the world." JJ glanced at you. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked out the window. “Y/N, don’t be like this now.”

“You’re being mean to me.” 

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are. I’m over here bleeding, preparing for the numbness to wear off and the pain to set in and you’re laughing at me.”

JJ grabbed your hand and pressed it to his lips. “I’m sorry, baby. Can you accept me buying you soup as my way of asking for your forgiveness?”

He stopped at a stop sign and looked over at you, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

You sighed. "I suppose."

He grinned as he squeezed your hand lightly. “See, you can’t stay mad at me forever, Y/N/N.”

You rolled your eyes before leaning your head against the headrest. “It’s because I need you to take care of me while I’m healing.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm. As much as I love Kie and Sarah, I don’t think their cuddles can compare to yours.”

JJ nodded. “Fair enough. That’s all you need me for? Cuddles?” 

You shrugged. “We’ll see.”

****

Within two hours, you were tearing up as the numbness wore off, the pain coming in at full force. You laid on the couch in the living room of the apartment you and JJ shared, a blanket thrown over your body.

JJ walked over with a glass of water and the pills you were prescribed. “Alright, here’s your amoxicillin, and here’s your ibuprofen.” He handed you the pills as you sat up.

You popped the two pills into your mouth, taking the glass of water from your boyfriend’s hand before taking a sip and swallowing the pills. JJ took the glass from you and set it on the end table as you sniffed.

“You know what might help?” JJ asked, walking over to one of the cabinets and opening it. 

“What?”

“I know you’re not a big drinker, Y/N, but I remember Mr. Heyward telling me when I got my wisdom teeth out that, if you take vodka, whiskey, tequila, whatever, and kind of hold it in your mouth, tilting your head left and right, it’ll help with the pain. It almost renumbs it and because it’s alcohol, it also helps fight infections.” JJ explained, grabbing the bottle of vodka he had stashed away.

He grabbed a shot glass and filled it up before bringing it over to you. 

“JJ, baby, I don’t think I should be having alcohol after taking a 600 mg ibuprofen and a 500 mg amoxicillin. Besides, I’m pretty sure that’s what the amoxicillin is for anyway.” 

JJ sighed. “I know, princess, but I’m trying to help you out here. It hurts me to see you hurting.”

“And just two hours ago you were saying it was cute when I’m all whiney.” You joked.

“You are cute when you’re whiney and not in pain. Now you’re just in pain and I don’t like it.” 

You looked at JJ with a frown. “How about we just cuddle for the rest of the day? Maybe take a nap because I’m all tuckered out.” 

JJ smiled lightly, downing the shot of vodka before heading over to you and picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as your arms snaked around his neck, him holding you up by your thighs. He carried you into your bedroom, taking one of his hands and pulling back the blankets before gently setting you down and tucking you in. 

He climbed in on his side, gently pulling you into his side, putting a pillow on top of his upper arm so you weren’t resting on his arm, knowing that it wouldn’t help the pain at all.

“Comfortable, princess?” He asked.

You hummed in response, your arm draping across his stomach. 

He kissed the top of your head, brushing your hair away from your face. 

“I’m sorry in advance if I drool on you. I’m even more sorry if it’s bloody drool.” You muttered.

“It’s alright. You can drool on me whenever you want, bloody or not.”

You smiled. “And Kie and Sarah were worried about you taking care of me.”

JJ scoffed. “I always take care of you so Kie and Sarah can shove a sock in it.”

You giggled. “It’s okay, baby. I defended you and your ability to take care of me.”

“I would hope so. After all, I’m buying you Dairy Queen next week. I don’t buy Dairy Queen for anybody, you know.”

“I know.” You sighed.

It was quiet for a few minutes and you were almost asleep before JJ spoke again.

“You gotta eat your soup and mashed potatoes though or else you don’t get chicken tenders next week.”

You let out a laugh. “Oh my god, JJ. You sound like my dad when I had to go get shots.”

“That just means I’m prepared for when we have kids. The whole bribery part of parenting, in the bag.” JJ stated with a nod.

You nodded. “Alright, baby. I can’t wait to tell our kids how you knew you were ready to be a father because you told me a week after my wisdom teeth were removed, you were going to buy me chicken tenders and ice cream.”

JJ smiled. “And I can’t wait to be saying the same thing to them when they get their wisdom teeth out.”

~~~~~~