#also these are all the ones i have left to rec
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pairing: jj maybank x fem!routledge!reader
tropes: 3rd person narration | sarah cameronâs pov | childhood best friends to lovers | brotherâs best friend | best friendâs sister | fluff | soft boy jj
synopsis: sarah cameron meets her boyfriendâs sister for the first time, and understands what being soulmates means.
warnings: cursing, slightly mention of violence
wc: 2.9k
itâs my first time writing a character x reader (and actually writing a ff in years lmao) so i really hope this turned out well! also, i apologize for any typos or grammar errors but english is not my first language <3
song rec: about you - the 1975 âĄ
âcâmon guys, time to go back. itâs starting to freeze out here.â pope said, placing his fishing rod by his side before getting up and walking towards the helm of the boat, kiara following him to keep him some company. he was right: the temperature had started to drop, and honestly he didnât even know why the pogues decided to go fishing at the end of november.
they were all there, except for the pogue princess as they liked to call her. she was john bâs younger sister, just by one year; and even though she was definitely a pogue down to her core, she actually almost looked like a kook: she was always composed, never drank too much, never even touched a cigarette or a joint, and she worked her ass off every afternoon at the country club to help john b with the bills and to afford a few of the things she liked.
she was smart, kind, the type of girl to lighten up a room with the sound of her laughter. she was also one of the reasons why the âno pogue-on-pogue mackingâ rule was made: everyone kind of had a thing for her, and jj maybank was the first in line.
âi seriously regret coming, i think iâm going into hypothermia.â jj said, shuddering a little bit. yes, it was cold, but it wasnât that cold. jj just liked to be dramatic.
âgosh, youâre such a pussy.â john b laughed, smacking his best friend behind the head. theyâve know each other for more than ten years now. they werenât friends anymore, they were brothers. they loved and cared for each other very deeply, even if they were acting like jerks most of the time.
as pope started the engine of the hms pogue, ready to go back to the château, john b took his sweatshirt off to pass it to sarah, his new girlfriend. she was a kook, but she was different. she didnât care about how dissimilar their lives were, she loved spending time with the pogues because they were real. they were amazing friends, they were funny and smart, and the kind of people you could have a serious conversation with. they werenât superficial like the kooks, and she loved them for this.
she felt a little tap on her leg, catching with her vision her boyfriendâs sweater. she gave john b a smile and slid the blue piece of clothing on. âso, iâm meeting your sister for the first time today, uh. big step.â sarah joked, slightly pushing his arm.
since the first moment they started dating, john b had always talked about how he wanted her to meet his sister. she was the most important person in his life, especially after his dad went missing at sea during a storm. he actually wanted sarah to meet her right away, but she asked him to wait a couple of months, just to see if they were solid about this relationship. âyup, and trust me youâre gonna love her. sheâs like a little ball of sunshine, she wouldnât even hurt a fly.â he said, smiling at the thought how of sweet his sister was with everyone.
âheâs right. i donât think iâve even ever seen her mad.â jj stated, shifting his seat from john bâs right to sarahâs left.
âshe seems really nice, but iâm not worried about me liking her, because, by what you guys always say about her, i already do. iâm just worried she wonât like me, you know because of the whole pogue-kook thing.â
everyone bursted out laughing at sarahâs words, her face more confused than ever. âwhat? what did I say?â kiara left pope at the helm of the boat, and went to sit in front of her, crossing her legs together. âyou donât need to worry about that, she doesnât give a shit about the rivalry. trust me, she looks like she walked out of a cruise brochure. the only thing she wants is to see her brother with someone who makes him happy, which you do, so sheâs totally gonna be fine with it.â sarah smiled at her words, feeling a bit more relieved now.
even though pope wasnât seating next to them, he could still perfectly hear their conversation and see sarahâs tensed body. thatâs why he decided to lighten up a bit the discussion. âyou know, one time she made jj dress up as a reindeer.â he said getting out a chuckle at the memory of jj dressed as one of santa clausâs reindeers.
kiara followed him with a loud laughter âoh my god itâs true, i almost forgot it.â
sarah gave them an amazed look. she was enjoying this too much to not say anything. âokay, this is actually the funniest thing iâve ever heard. did you had a red nose like little rudolph, too?â she said with a smirk, turning her head towards jjâs.
âoh shut up, all of you. i only did it because she asked. besides, she looked so happy when i changed into that costume. i would honestly do it again.â jj let out an involontary smile at the thought of y/n. it was like this all the time: wether he wanted it or not, the only thought of y/n made him feel like he was the happiest man on earth, even if he wasnât. she just had that effect on him.
âgod, itâs sickening how whipped you are for my sister.â john b said, mimicking a gag reflex.
jj rolled his eyes at his words. sarah switching her gaze between the two boys sitting one to her left, and the other to her right. she then stopped to look at jj. âwait- you like y/n?â
âlike? hell, he loves that girl. heâs been in love with her since he was six. the random hook ups he has? thatâs all for show. he only does it to not draw suspicion, since the only girl heâd like to fuckâ and sorry john bâ is y/n.â pope said, fully exposing his friendâs feelings.
not that jj cared anyway. everyone knew how he felt about her, he didnât even try to deny it anymore.
âand youâre completely fine with it?â sarah asked john b, knowing how protective he was when it came to his sister.
âi wasnât always. first time he told me he loved her? i punched him. not my finest moment but i was kinda mad.â john b replied, slightly chuckling, reminiscing his right fist hitting jjâs jawbone. âi mean, the day before he tells me he sees her as a little sister and then that he wants to sleep with her? hell nah, i wasnât having that.â
âand what changed your mind?â
âbecause itâs jj. i know my best friend, and i know how much he cares for her. i knew he was never going to hurt her, iâm actually pretty sure he would die for her.â
sarah nodded along. the look on jjâs face confirming that what john b had just said was a hundred percent true. in that moment a thought crossed her mind, making her think about how what jj and y/n mustâve been something truly special.
âbubba, weâre home.â john b shouted, as he opened the châteauâs door. the house was silent, except for a light melody coming from the bathroom and the sound of the shower running. âshower! be right there!â sarah heard y/n shout back, as every one of the pogues sat on the couch: her ending up between her boyfriend and kiara, next to who was seated pope; and a bit far away from them jj. she figured he left the space empty for y/n.
about ten minutes later, while the pogues were having a conversation about an upcoming party at the boneyard, a sixteen year old girl came out of the bathroom, wearing a pink sweater and long white sweatpants. white socks at her feet and long wet hair cascading down her back. she walked up to them, bending slightly to place a kiss on her brotherâs cheek, and proceeding to do the same with all the others.
she then retraced her steps and stopped in front of sarah. âso youâre the reason why my brother stopped being a cranky old lady.â she smiled, offering her her right hand. âiâm y/n, itâs so nice to finally meet you.â
âsarah. itâs a pleasure to meet you too, john bâs always talking about you.â sarah replied, shaking her hand. y/n let out a small laugh, as she walked towards the end of the couch were jj was seated.
she plopped down next to him, tucking her legs under her bottom and leaning into him. he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and gently leaving a kiss to the side of her head. âheâs always talking about you too. i swear the other night he woke me up around 3am just to tell me how amazing your date was. which, donât get me wrong, i was very happy to hear about.â
âyou literally throw a pillow in my face.â john b said.
âduh, because you woke me at 3 fucking a.m. i love you bird, but for gods sakes let a girl sleep.â she replied, making everyone laugh at her comment.
the conversation resumed pretty quickly, this time through with jj paying way less attention to it, more focused on the girl next to him.
the entire evening, between laughters and bottles of beers, sarah observed how jj and y/n were always caught up in their whole world. jjâs hands being constantly on her body, wether it was a arm around her shoulders or his hand on her leg. they were glued to each other, sometimes even whispering between them words only they could catch.
for the second time that day, sarah thought about how jj and y/nâs bond was special, going beyond simple friendship.
it was almost two a.m. when kie and pope left, both returning to their respective houses to avoid their parents storming out on them. sarah instead was going to spend the night there, so since jj and john b were on the front porch smoking a joint, obviously a jjâs idea, she and y/n were the only two people moving around the living room, cleaning up the mess of empty beer bottles and pizza boxes.
the whole night she noticed how jj and y/n acted around each other, so since they were now alone, she just felt like she had to ask. âso whatâs the deal between you and jj?â
âthereâs no deal, weâre friends.â y/n said calmly.
âbullshit, i noticed the way you look at him and how he looks at you. thatâs the look of love, sweetie.â sarah decided not to mention how jj actually felt about her. it wasnât her place to say tell the truth.
ânah, jj would never go for someone like me. he only sees me as a little sister, besides iâm not even his type.â she replied, giving her a kind smile, even though she felt like a lump was stuck right down her throat. y/n always knew she wasnât the kind of girl jj would want, the were total polar opposites, and truthfully she never even considered herself that much beautiful to have a chance with him.
âsince when jj has a type? doesnât he hits on every breathing human being?â sarah knew this probably wasnât the right thing to say, but sometimes people needed a little push to blurt out their feelings. to her surprise though, y/n laughed, most likely because she knew how their friend had a habit of flirting with almost every girl he met. it didnât matter if they were pogues or tourons, or hell even kooks sometimes. a pretty girl is a pretty girl, doesnât matter where she comes from.
âkinda, but he always hooks up with victoria-secreys-models type of girls, if you get what i mean. and apart from that, we want different things. he doesnât do relationships and i donât do random hook ups. not to mention how the possibility of me and jj being together would probably give an aneurysm to my brother.â
âeh, i wouldnât be so sure about that, ya know. either way though, you like him, donât you?â sarah said, remembering the conversation she and the other guys had on the boat.
busted. y/n stayed silent, sailing her lips in a thin, straight line. she then closed her eyes and took a deep breath, getting ready to spill everything out. she figured it was time to tell the truth anyway, since sarah clearly figured everything out.
âi met jj when i was four, we were in kindergarten and some older boys were picking on me. i was smaller and basically on the edge of tears, until i saw this blonde boy running towards me and putting himself between us. even if he was younger than them he still took my defense. after that he walked me home and told me he was a friend of john bâs. since that day, i donât think iâve ever liked someone that wasnât him.â
she took a small pause, just to catch her breath. but she was so caught up in narrating the whole story, that she didnât notice john b and jj leaning against the doorframe.
jjâs eyes almost bursting out of his face at her words, not expecting to hear her confession. john b, very aware of how his best friend was going to lose his shit any minute now, he places his finger against his mouth, mimicking him to shut up.
âas we grew older the roles kinda reversed and i started to look out for him: when he would come here bruised because of his father i would hug him and clean him up; even if younger than him i helped him study, you know just avoiding he would fail some subjects. at night, dad used to let him sleep next to me or john b because he didnât want to be alone, thing that of course dad prohibited when i turned twelve. that didnât stop him though: he would sneak out as soon as john b would fall asleep and come under the covers with me.â
she let out a laugh. âwould sir. freud love this? probably yes, but it doesnât matter. he deserves someone that cares for him, everyone does. and itâs not pity or mercy, i genuinely want to be there for him, because he deserves the best. yet, because of his father heâs convinced heâs worthless, but heâs not. gosh, heâs so funny and smart, which i know sounds weird but he is. he would die for his friends and cares so much for us. and iâm sure he could make it out of obx if only he wanted to. and heâs always so supportive and gen-â
she couldâve kept going on, but she suddenly noticed the two boys staring right up at her. jjâs eyes were watery, like he was going to cry any second now. he didnât cry much, only when really fucked up things happened in his life, but for the first time he felt like crying not because he was sad and tired but because he was happy. because finally he couldâve had something great going on in his life. he couldâve had her.
without saying anything he launched himself into y/nâs arms, letting her stumble back due to the rushed impact between their bodies. he hold her tight, his arms around her waist and hers around his neck. his face placed in the space between her shoulder and her neck, breathing in the smell of the coconut soap she always used. he didnât care about sarah and john b still being in the room, he wouldnât even care if a freaking zebra walked in the house. she was the only thing that mattered. she was his whole universe.
âyou shouldnât eavesdrop, maybank.â she said with a smirk, putting a bit of distance between their bodies so she could look at him in the face, but still managing to play with the of hair at the nape of his neck.
âdid you actually mean it? like for real?â
âevery word, jay. you know me, i would never lie to you.â
jj maybank was impulsive. half of the time he never thought before acting, which pretty much resulted in him dealing with the aftermath of his stupid decisions. thatâs why he didnât think twice in grabbing y/nâs face with his hands, pressing his lips against hers.
at first he felt her stiffening, probably surprised by his gesture, and for a moment he really thought he had just screwed everything up. but then her hands went to his shirt, yanking him even closer if possible, and he sensed her relaxing, her lips moving against his.
after what seemed like hours, he pulled back, only because they both needed air. if it was up to him, he wouldâve spent hours kissing her without getting a break.
âiâve been loving you for a long time, princess.â she smiled, her cheeks almost hurting because of all the happiness she was feeling.
âwell, youâre very lucky then, because iâve been loving you for a long time too.â
âi canât watch this, i think iâm gonna throw up.â
sarah nudged her elbow into her boyfriend stomach, giving him a look that said âshut the fuck up or iâm killing youâ. john b raised his hands in the air, admitting defeat.
and, as they watched jj starting to kiss y/n again, sarah thought of how her own relationship was truly amazing. but in her opinion? what y/n and jj had was the true definition of soulmates.
#outer banks#obx#jj obx#jj outer banks#jj x y/n#jj x you#jj x reader#jj maybank#jj fluff#fanfic#wattpad#ao3 fanfic#one shot#obx2#obx1#jj mayback x reader#jj mayback imagine#jj imagine#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank obx#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x you#jj maybank x y/n
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Looking at the notes it looks like we might have quite similar tastes! I don't really watch TV or films if I can help it so I've got nothing on that front but for books:
The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin; set in a world with one continent, where earthquakes are a fact of life. Society is split into different castes and communities, and the "untouchable" class equivalent are people with the ability to magically control earthquakes. Some CWs apply - it's a heavy, brutal series - so hmu if you need any more info before diving in. But it's absolutely wonderful, and the audiobooks are amazing, read by Robin Miles. I also recommend The City We Became (lighter SF about the city of New York developing avatars of each of its boroughs to fight an external threat) and How Long Til Black Future Month (collection of SFF short stories) by her.
Flux by Jinwoo Chong - another great audiobook, read by David Lee Huynh. A young man obsessed with an outdated TV detective takes on a job at a strange organisation where he doesn't really know what he's doing or why. Really beautiful writing and a fascinating exploration of identity and technology.
When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb - I obsessed about this so much when I first read it, I don't think I'll ever stop recommending it. Riffing on Jewish folklore, it tells the story of an angel and a demon travelling from the Pale of Settlement to America in c.1911 to follow after the young people of their shtetl. Wicked funny, queer and joyful, and Donald Corren's performance in the audiobook is perfectly dry and sharp.
The Heavens by Sandra Newman - a woman in an ideal future timeline dreams about being another woman in Elizabethan/Jacobean England. She realises that the events in her dreams are affecting her waking reality, changing time and bringing that timeline closer and closer to our own. Made me cry (complimentary)
Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel - rec depends on how up to it you're feeling re. pandemic fiction. Written before COVID but weirdly prescient, it follows a travelling group of actors in a world decimated by a virulent coronavirus outbreak, hopping back and forth in time to bring different characters from past and present and tie them all together.
The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie - a fantasy retelling of Hamlet, clearly inspired by the use of second-person in the Fifth Season. A world where gods are a fact of life, and where gods speak reality into being. One of Leckie's stronger efforts since Ancillary Justice (first of the Imperial Radch series which I loooove), I remember gasping out loud at a particular reveal at the end. Protag is a trans man which is fun, and the audiobook is read by Adjoa Andoh who can do no wrong.
The Traitor Baru Cormorant (I think just called The Traitor in the UK edition) by Seth Dickinson - about a woman in a "fantasy" world (I don't think there's any actual magic??) whose culture is dominated by an expansionist empire and who vows to take the empire down from within. Totally gripping, can't wait to read the rest in the series.
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susannah Clarke - I saw you'd read Piranesi, and idk if you've read this one yet but I loved it. Set in an alternate Regency England where magic has long been part of British culture, but has all but faded by the time the novel starts. It's a pure brick of a book with nested footnotes and stories within stories, so not for the faint-hearted, but the world is rich and realised and it's brilliantly funny in places. Audiobook is wonderful!
Looking for media recs. Any format. Any genre that isn't romance or erotica.
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Coming here as someone who loves your stuff on Mtok because three of my favorite trans creators left today and two more left the day before and I'm worried. You must see that more people talk about things when you do and it feels like they're all following you because of that video and idk if you considered that we'd lost more creators before posting it? Hope you're doing okay though and I'm sorry Mtok got rough
okay i typed out a very passive aggressive response here, then considered deleting this like i do most anons like this, then ended up settling on yapping - i promise gang, i talk about other things than being trans but that seems to be the forefront right now. back to regular scheduling soon <3
first of all, this tumblr post here is from when i made my original video discussing the reboot. the number there say 47 trans people but it's well above that now with the amount of conversations i have had with trans people in this fandom - it may be worthwhile to read some of the points and see how widespread this feeling of isolation and helplessness is, and has been for a while now
secondly,,, once again it's influence not individual :/ like wow! this person has a certain number of followers ! that must be why this is happening ! when actually,,, a lot of trans people in this fandom feel like shit. you can see it in the comments of every video i've made about the reboot, you can see it in the comments of the video where i get asked how i feel about fem sirius, you can see it under Every video where transness is brought into question in this fandom.
most of all, you can see it when Talking To Trans People. and viewing them as individuals, not just "creators".
because i've seen multiple videos of trans people stepping down today and i could sit back and apologise for "influencing" that, or i could be glad that people are leaving a space that doesn't feel safe, and i can reach out to them like i have done and applaud them for looking after themselves.
also,,,, more passive aggressive i think, but people Aren't talking about this. they are on tumblr, yes, but on tiktok it feels like me and three other people MAXIMUM that are talking about it, all of them trans. when i talk about fics? yes, i watch them circle around. when i say a headcanon? i watch that circle around - when i say that i, and many other trans people in this fandom, feel like it's unsafe? barely anything on that app. (and yes, tumblr is a better platform for this, tiktok isn't built for long-form discussions but wow it's tiring being The One to speak about it over this, which sounds big-headed but,,, i have been. and it sucks.)
i think you, and many others, have a very warped perception of what i do because i just,,, post. for me. not for traction or influence or blah blah blah, i pop on and talk about something i enjoy because i like talking.
idk man. maybe it isn't because messrsrobyn posted a video.
maybe it's because this fandom has a massive transphobia problem when discussing character discourse, gender presentation, the infantilisation of trans members of the fandom, the support for jkr, the hyping up of hp cast members that haven't shown us support, the marauders fans posting at studios/with official merch, not deleting harmful comments under posts, crying about trans characters "heterosexualising gay couples", the arguing over heights and top/bottom, the debates about makeup and clothing and- i could go on and on.
maybe it's not because messrsrobyn posted a video. maybe it's because y'all need to do better.
and mostly, the cherry on top, maybe it's because trans people are tired of fighting this alone and making up 99% of those speaking out again jkr on that app.
maybe we're tired of fighting to belong, speaking out about it, and then being asked for fic recs.
idk! food for thought
#asks#robyn is ranting sorry#GUYS I PROMISE#i promise this isnt all i talk about#im very cool calm and collected#i promise but#im thinking a lot about the fact people have commented under my videos and shown support#and then i see those same names reposting about the reboot#or posting merch#or wtv wtv. thinking a lot about the way people show support when its asked for#and that fades away as soon as they scroll
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the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.
#jack facts#like do they think we don't notice#i truly do hate it here#i really do think that we should get to a ''you ruined it for everyone'' threshhold with ads at this point tbh#circulating ads should be a need based allowance#below a certain nw you can circulate as many ads as you want provided they follow guidelines#then above a certain nw you get a quota. you can have x number of ads circulating at a time.#and i don't mean distinct different ads that can be put wherever. no. if you have an ad on youtube that counts as one#and if you put the SAME AD on a different platform or tv channel or at the fucking gas station pumps or on a billboard or ANYWHERE#each different instance of the ad counts as another ad in your quota!#& if you have like a 1min skippable + a 30sec unskippable v of the same ad on the same platform. that counts as two. FUCK you.#and then above another nw line. you cannot have ads at all. bye you don't need them they serve no purpose they are just annoyances.#also paying influencers to hawk your shit counts as ads! fuck you!! paid word of mouth is not actual wom that is also an ad! fuck you!!!#oh u want ppl to rec ur product & u don't have any ad spots left?? well sugar you better have a fucking good product then lol :) fuck you#also if a co breaks an ad reg that co and any co it owns/parents can never make another fucking ad ever again in its existence#AND if a ceo breaks an ad reg w one co then disbands it and makes a new co and breaks ad reg w that one#then the CEO or any co they have ANY % ownership or investment in can never make an ad ever again. FUCK you.#charities/nonprofits and sole proprietorships get one (1) appeal to a total ad ban#that's IT!! ENOUGH!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND ONE MORE THING. ''pay us not to see ads on our platform/app/other thing'' should also be illegal.#''pay us for basic ass functions'' illegal. pay to win. illegal. sale/product announcements in things that are not press. illegal.#creating an ad or listing for something that doesn't exist and only manufacturing it after it is purchased. illegal.#ads that are full screen when a user has not already selected full screen on a video player. illegal.#pop up ads. illegal.#ads with audio on a platform that doesn't. illegal. video ads on a platform that doesn't have video. illegal.#ads w epilepsy triggers. illegal everywhere forever always w out needing to be reported by consumers. cannot be circulated in the 1st place#ads w graphic violence or soundscapes that mimic it. see epilepsy triggers.#ads for things that are not actually consumer products. illegal.#anything else u want to circulate like an ad must go thru other regs to qualify as psa or edu. if it doesn't qualify tough shit get fucked.#[insert gif collage of people talking extensively while wildly gesturing for emphasis here]
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about âromani isn't a raceâ i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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Abram i was curious and i donât think iâve asked you this before, what are some of your favorite aftg fics? you know one of mine will always be yours (wit)jitp but⌠what are your faves???
-miels đâ¨
hiii miels my beloved <3<3 i am always down to share some favorite fics >:D
(side note: for a lot of these, i actually am not fully caught up with them due to my shifting hyperfocus meaning i wasn't reading them when they updated, so it generally goes without saying that i am planning on rereading and catching up on these all!)
Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die) by Major_816 this is my #1 favorite fic and i will scream it's praises until the day i die. it's so so good. i am wayyyy overdue for a reread, especially since it's got a sequel that i haven't started yet, but alas that will have to wait until next month. i will say though that it is DEFINITELY not for the light of heart. it is very trigger heavy and dark, and it still holds place as the only fic i've ever read that i have had to set it down and step away from it because of one scene. the tags on the fic itself don't say much about this, but i can always go into further detail if you want :) (as much as i can remember, anyway ;; or once i actually do my reread)
Flavors of Fall by NikNak22 i know i've mentioned Flavors of Fall in the past because i will always credit it for inspiring me to experiment with the way i write!! especially when it comes to (wit)jitp!! the limited pov in (wit)jitp is a direct result of this fic!! but the fic itself is SO WELL WRITTEN it makes me lose my mind. it's my perfect type of cozy tbh. i remember following along with the updates to the point where even my MOM knew what day it updated on bc i wouldn't shut up about it skdhvskhd
Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary this fic hhhhhhhhh this is probably my MOST reread fic bc every time it updates i reread it!! mostly as a reminder of where it left off but also it's just so enjoyable every single time around that rereading it is a joy every single time (i am also currently rereading it!!) this fic actually also has a scene that i usually skip over bc of graphic details, not half as bad as the scene in Scared to Live, i just have already read it and can skip it since i know what happens now this is also one of the fics that i know has influenced my writing! it was a while ago now, but i remember rereading this before and going "hey this wording is familiar" only to discover i had mirrored this story in my own stories!
the upper hand by plantelty i don't remember a lot of the plot of this one (alas it's been quite a while ;;) but i remember it having these very calm sort of dark vibes? not dark like Dark but it just felt like the type of story that takes place in the twilight hours. idk. it makes me smile. not quite as chaotic as some other fics (i will cry when we finally get the final chapter)
The Butcher's House by Fire_Bear ghost neil ghost neil ghost neil i love love love the mystery and story-telling in this one. it has set such a high precedent for ghost aus for me.
i think i will leave it here ;;; like i said, i am in the process of going through and rereading most (if not all) of these fics right now bc i've missed updates so i am SO down to talk about them
#someone needs to smack past-abram with a stick for not bookmarking all of the fics he's read#i have a bad habit of going 'i will comment on this later!' and holding on to the fic and then losing it entirely#without either commenting OR bookmarking#which sucks cus it means i don't remember the name and can't rec them >:(#thank you for asking though darling ;;;;#literally everything in my bookmarks i'd recommend too!!! but these ones have left certain impressions on me#even if i can't always articulate the way i feel about them :') (the upper hand for example sfkhdgh)#also rip me falling out of the aftg fandom when all of my authors actively update I AM SO BEHIND#the second fic for scared to live has 12 CHAPTERS AND I HAVEN'T READ ANY OF THEM#a CRIME#aftg#fic recs#askers#allthefakepeople#shh ac
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your top 5 philip island races đ
okay all five of these are very close together. to be clear
2004: putting this first fundamentally comes down to whether you're a duel or dogfight girl, and I'm the former. like, I love a great dogfight, I love chaos, I know phillip island specifically is all about multi-rider scraps, but as a person I'm just really about the psychological tension and drama of a one-on-one fight. especially between two people who despise each other. this is the penultimate race of the season, valentino's matchpoint race and also his first fight with sete post-qatar. the whole race is excellent but the first lap and last lap... transcendental
2017: practically a comfort watch by this point. it's so... ferocious, unrestrained, it also has a great post-divorce battle between valentino and marc buried within the dogfight that instantly elevates it for the viciousness. another one with big championship implications, which adds some fun stakes to just how hard they're going at it. also, I fondly remember watching this live early in the morning and going 'oh god they're gonna crash oh god they're gonna crash WHAT IF VALENTINO RUINS MARC'S CHAMPIONSHIP WHAT THEN' which quite frankly was such a special time
2015: another thrilling one in the category of proper dogfight. honestly these three middle ones are quite tricky to rank because, well, they're all great fun. I don't like,, enjoy watching the actual fighting quite as much as I do with 2017, though obviously the fantastic last lap does elevate this one. and the first few laps are really fun!! that poor seagull. plus the whole sword of damocles feel, the narrative implications of the whole thing are again. very pleasing. I think I kinda needed jorge/valentino to actually Fight Each Other a bit more, but I suppose the whole point of that season is that they didn't
2001: it says something about the quality of phillip island races that I'm ranking this absolute banger fourth. this is valentino's first matchpoint race, first premier class title, and it's super pleasing in how you're frequently readjusting your expectations of how this race is going to go? excellent momentum shifts. it's got the most pleasing narrative conclusion too, with the dogfight becoming a duel between the title contenders right at the end. valentino doesn't need to overtake biaggi for the win to take the championship, but can he resist... (no.) I think the main reason this is no higher than fourth is that by this point the title is basically wrapped up, but there is also something fun in how badly valentino wanted to win the race anyways. always got to be so dramatic about everything
2003: I was about to say 2023, but then I had the 'wait what the fuck I can't leave out 2003' moment. the issue is that this is... well it's a different flavour of pleasure than these other races, right. but also it'd be fundamentally dishonest of me to leave this out, because I DO get one hell of a kick from watching it and have done so an unhealthy number of times. you've got the early vicious dogfight, then you've got that lull out front while the dogfight for the remaining podium places rages and then you've got the penalty announcement. you've got the dogfight for the final podium position to keep you entertained on the action front, you've got the slow burn pleasure of watching valentino pull out increasingly silly laps, and then you've got the ghost bike extra-dimensional warfare commentators to pull the whole thing together into a unique race watch experience
honorary mentions!! 2023 (this was such a blast to watch live, like the way the story of the race gradually changed and you had this brutal fight and this building tension because you just knew that Those Tyres Were Being Shredded and then it all comes together... last lap is so so good); 2022 (just pure pure chaos, you kinda felt like half the grid was involved in the dogfight for the lead at one point or another, just never knew what was going to happen next, plus the last lap is a lot of fun and with a very deserved winner); 2009 (dude I felt so bad not including one of the many casey wins but genuinely which of these races would I kick out. this one is his most 'exciting' win and obviously massive championship implications, but also it's very much the being edged of watching a motogp duel in that a fight constantly threatens but doesn't actually ever get going); 2008 (objectively one of the better phillip island races in casey's tenure but like. unfortunately he's just too good at these, and the most exciting thing going on here is valentino working his way up from 12th. sorry casey if you just went slower then you'd be featured more on this list); 2006 (first flag to flag race!! ever!! absolute chaos all the way through, constant chopping and changing of the championship picture. last lap duel between Old Enemies I'm fond of for sentimental reasons); 2013 (marc's race still makes me mad if I think about it for more than two seconds, but the whole experience is also inarguably chaotic enough and dumb enough to be a lot of fun to watch); 2011 (at least Making It Wet was one somewhat interesting way to mix up casey's domination and spook him a little bit, but ultimately obviously he did the thing again - sentimental value because he sealed the title on his home race at his birthday)
#great work I mentioned more than half the phillip island races this century#I actually also quite enjoyed 2002 and 2010#2019!! I was super hungover and that was the year we got like five last lap duels so I have to say I was a little pissed we didn't get one#yeah we might have been a bit spoiled back then. but most of it was fun!! first few laps especially I think#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#race rec tag#I dozed off during 2018 after marc retired which I'm sure isn't indicative of its actual quality but. well y'know#goated circuit where valentino casey marc are the most frequent winners >>>>>#if we're just counting premier class doohan does match marc BUT marc still has time#he said he thinks aragon pi valencia are his best chances at sniping a win this year because of the whole left handed thing#and well. he'd know best. but has he checked his record at valencia ik it's weird as the End Of Season race but it really isn't all that#I just dislike valencia enough that I philosophically reject my guy being any good there#I reckon he'll win a silly flyaway f2f race at buriram or something
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do people have manga or anime recommendations
#this doesnât have any correlation to jjk I just genuinely have been trying to find new good animanga#I started wha earlier and liked the first volume#also no shonen pls a part of me dies every time I see recs that include aot-op-jjk-csm etc. like I enjoy some shonen but pls.#watch this get 0 notes đđđđđ#also sorta related but Iâve been trying to find more queer horror ish animanga and graphic novels#one time on a server w queer manga recs I asked if anyone had good wlw manga recs with horror or fantasy elements and was ignored đ#to be fair it was like all bl recs so I left but đŤ like I know thereâs revolutionary girl but it sounds REALLY heavy
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If youâve ever left a note of any kind on any of my stories, please know that you made my whole day.
Iâm not kidding. Every time I click into the activities tab on this blog and see each and every little noteâmentions, comments, rec lists, reblogs, likes, all of itâmy day instantly improves.
A lot of writers on here get upset about not getting specific types of interactions, which I donât hold against them, since thatâs their own business. I just want people who follow us and leave notes on our work to know I donât see things that way. I have done literal happy dances seeing someone leave a like on any of my favorite stories Iâve posted.
Every single note youâve left on any of my work matters a lot to me. Thereâs a chance I was so happy to see your interaction that I clicked over to your blog just to happy-scroll through it and see what youâre like.
I think all of you are neat as hell and every single one of you is appreciated, whether you even follow the blog or not.
#and donât get me started on including my work in rec lists#the fact that someone liked my story enough to recommend it to other people is one of the most flattering things in the world#ALSO shoutout to all the readers who have never left notes!#I know you exist and Iâm thankful for you too â¤ď¸ I hope you enjoyed the read#not from the grapevine
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One Song Per Letter URL Tag
hooooooo there! @blatheringblatherskite and I think someone else that I can't find now (I'm so sorry!) tagged me in this a while ago đ
so here I am. And my url is long oh no lol. I played hard mode and only did NTB songs...and then also did a second one with other artists bc I'm Like That, ok go:
Youtube NTB playlist: I only cheated twice! Once in using a song from Bear's solo project for an extra E, and once for "Let Us Love" for the U. XD
Uh anyways, if you ever want to hear what it's like inside my head, it's basically Needtobreathe/Wilder Woods all the times, so have fun getting to know me in there. đ
Then! I didn't allow any NTB/WW songs XD. Also I didn't make a new playlist for this post but here's the link to my 365 songs for this year playlist, which is where I got all the songs.
Train Station - The Gray Havens Heaven Knows - Five For Fighting Easter Song - Jess Ray Roses - The Brevet All My Heroes Are Underdogs - Ross King Garden on the Kitchen Floor - Tors Another State - Tigers in the Sky Millstatt - The Arcadian Wild Under the Circus Lights - Owl City Flowers for Strangers - The Nineteen Twenty Flares - The Script Irish Eyes - Rose Betts Not Giving In - The West Coast Feed If it's the Beaches - The Avett Brothers Not Home Yet - The Gray Havens Inkpot Gods - The Amazing Devil This Thing is Not Going to Break You - Christa Wells Into the Unknown - Frozen/P!atD cover As We Ran - The National Parks To the Mountains - Lizzy McAlpine Invisible God - Andrew Peterson Vincent - Don McLean Eagle Bear Buffalo - Passenger
uh editing bc I didn't tag anyone um @wellmanneredthief @slytherinbookwyrm @doctorbluesmanreturns and @ the person reading this going "ohmygosh an excuse to share my music?? pick me!"
#thanks for the tag!#music recs#tag post#about me#i really really really wanted to put 'make your own mistakes' by wilder woods on one of these#but that would be breaking the rules so i did not#the songs on here are (imho) very very good still#but if you wanna specifically youtube that one as a bonus...#it's a song he wrote for his little boys and i have all the emotions about it#also if you see a lot of songs about the mountains on here that's bc i went to visit some this year#and i fell in love and left part of my soul there đ it's fine
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Okay. I did my shopping at the place that has the one sale like once a year and also because I pinch pennies about this signed up to the rewards/loyalty system. I have gotten 10 emails or something now because I get a fucking email every time I 'earn points' by doing something like clicking on a thing. I mean, good to know, but also, g-d-fucking-damn it's so fucking annoying ARGH
Plus clicking on all those things didn't let me use my money off reward in conjunction with the discount sale code so what was even the point. Ugh.
#i am annoyed because I did the clever (imo) thing and bought 2 of the thing in case idk it sells out before the next entire year#in case it tears or something; it's so annoying when you get a good clothing item but then when you need another one it's discontinued#or something#but#that means more money#so now i have less money left for the other basic underwear i need to buy from the other place#g-d i hate this.#i was also hoping to have some money left over to buy like a slightly less basic set of things to feel nice about myself#now that my body is all different#but alas#i don't even feel like i'm being frivolous my money is literally going to a) replacing knickers i sized out of#b) basic knickers for work#c) perhaps an item from my wishlist that has been there for years#and only very hopefully d) a set of Some Nice Things#but after spending money on (a) i am already like. fuck. i don't wanna spend more money on other things.#like - should i even?#but even in (b) there's one item that is a replacement because i fucking ordered it in the correct size last time but the owner was like#'i saw your order and i think a size down might be good? seeing as you previously ordered xyz' and i was like 'okay you're the owner#happy to go with your rec'#and it was wrong and i was right originally but exchanging it would be like. about the same price to post the damn thing back as buying it#again since they gave me a code for half off but really i kinda wish they could just give me a new one free since ughhh#i am distinctly getting the feeling that if i buy this basic set of things i will already be upset about having spent this much money#and that it will have already been more than i wanted to spend#and then not get anything else#argh#scream. cry.#personal
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My ankle journey
I am sharing this with all you good people on the dash because I am so fucking mad it took so long for me to learn it and if I can spare one (1) person the agony it will be worth it.
So for like...oh, 8 or 9 months, I've been struggling with pain/inflammation/tendinitis in my left Achilles tendon. I don't know what caused it. It just started up (welcome to middle age, this shit happens). It wasn't severe enough to be debilitating, but it was annoying and limiting. It was also intermittent, in that some days it would be very painful and other days hardly at all. The kind of shoe I was wearing affected it a lot.
Now, I have bone spurs on both heels (it's just a thing that happens as you get older sometimes). I'm also aware that heel pain is usually the result of tight calf muscles that pull and irritate the tendon. I tried stretching that calf muscle. You know the stretch, this bitch right here:
I did it all the time. I also iced the ankle after walking for awhile, hoping to avoid inflammation. Results were...unsatisfying.
I went to:
A chiropractor
A podiatrist
A physical therapist
A bodywork coach
They all gave me some variation on the "strengthen your calf muscle, stretch your calf muscle" advice. I continued doing this without results.
I was getting frustrated, and a little afraid that this was just my life now. Finally, I thought...maybe some targeted massage might help. I asked for rec on a local FB site and was pointed to a woman who specializes in therapeutic massage including cupping, etc.
I went to her a week ago.
She spent over half our first session working on my left lower leg. Within about 10 minutes of making my eyes water, she uttered the sentence I did not know I had been waiting to hear:
"Oh, it's your soleus."
Excuse me, what?
"It's your soleus that's the culprit. It's all tied up and stiff." She started digging into it and I felt literal sparks run up my leg as she released adhesions and got the muscle moving a little. When she finally put the leg down, it felt like it was on fire with all the blood rushing into it.
She said, "You'll need to stretch your soleus. It'll clear up, but it'll take a bit of time - tendons take ages to heal."
But I HAVE been stretching.
"No, you haven't. The usual straight-leg calf stretch only stretches the gastrocnemius, that's the big belly muscle in your calf. That's not your problem. That stretch doesn't stretch the soleus. Don't worry, I'll show you how to stretch it."
My mind is spinning.
So here are the muscles in question:
The gastroc (as the pros call it) just attaches down the back but the soleus runs underneath it from the knee around the side to the heel. The lower part above the ankle is where it typically gets tight and forms adhesions.
To stretch it, you do the same calf thing where you put your foot back and press your heel to the ground, but you have to do it with your KNEE BENT:
The bent knee keeps the gastroc from engaging. It's one of those selfish muscles (like traps) - if you give it an inch, it'll just take over and prevent other muscles from working or stretching. There are other ways to stretch the soleus but this is the easiest and you can literally do it anywhere. I've been doing it while standing and waiting for things (the elevator to come, the toast to toast). You just put the heel back and bend the knee. It's kind of like curtseying.
The minute I did this stretch, I could FEEL where it was pulling on my tendon. I knew that THIS had been the problem.
The massage therapist also told me to stop icing my heel. She said icing is for an acute injury, but a more chronic aggravation needs heat, to increase blood flow for healing. She recommended elevation with heat every day (I've been doing it in bed during "phone before bed" time).
I have been doing the soleus stretch at least half a dozen times a day for almost a week, and the ankle is at least 70% better. It is still a little tight and tender, but the improvement is significant. I think a few more weeks will have it feeling normal.
I am...blown away by this. This massage therapist was able to pinpoint an issue in only a few minutes that eluded all the other professionals I saw. I can't wait to go back to her and have her solve all my other problems, tbh.
#massage therapy#soleus muscle#achilles tendon#bodywork#i am so mad i didn't go to her last winter#why did nobody else tell me this#physical therapy
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ââ â get to the car, weâre leaving â ( lhs ) đĽ
ŕš In which Heeseung doesnât take it lightly to you getting too close to one of the frat guys at a college partyâŚ
pair: jock!heeseung ă
thick gf!reader | warnings: smut, pwp, angst ??, fluff, mentions of drinking & smoking (weed), jealousy, upset heeseung but also soft, argument, hee almost fucks things up (relationship wise) + hot makeup s.x, spanking, shaking, fingering, oral (f. rec), piv, creampie | words: 2.6k
decided to make another jock!hee fic bc the first one i made got rlly popular ! i wanted to showcase more of what goes on in their lives and relationship lol, enjoyyy <3
⌠. ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚ
you were chosen as tonightâs designated driver, per usual. one of your roommates invited you to her seniorâs after exams party and of course you had to bring your significant other along with you for protection. though you werenât planning on doing anything crazy, there was no way in hell heeseung wasnât getting high tonight; plus with all the heavy drinks jay managed to sneak into his dorm, you wouldnât be surprised if heâd gotten drunk either.
âjake, itâs your go !â heeseung slurs a bit, sipping from his red solo cup. âshit, my bad, itâs my win anyway.â jake places his play in a set of three on the table, a sly smirk fixed on his features, flexing his cockiness.
âoh, fuck you..â heeseung spits, dramatically tossing his cards onto the table, earning a light chuckle from you.
âwhere are you going ?â you watched as his body elevated from his last position.
âout of drink.â he pouts, ruffling his hand through your hair. âyou coming with ?â his hand lifts yours in a way to pull you upwards.
âno.. donâ feel like it,â you gave him a soft smile, tapping his waist. âbut make it quick !â
with that his slim body conjured into the kitchen, where a small bar had been made. everyone else whoâd been playing terrible plays of poker kingdom were either now making out, drinking, smoking, or just left in general. yet here you are, bored out of your mind and couldnât drink at all, pulling out your phone as you waited patiently for your boyfriend to come back.
itâs been 20 minutes⌠what could possibly be taking so long? thatâs all that ran over your mind before you actually got up to go find him yourself. you feel like you need a leash on that boy sometimes.. scanning each crowd, different colonies of people in groups, some even scattered. thatâs when your eyes landed on a familiar figureâ jay, but this time he seemed free.
ŕš ŕš ŕš
âi really do have a girlfriend,â heeseung said loud enough for the random girl to hear over the blaring music.
âoh, trust me i wouldnât take a guy as handsome as you to not be taken,â she spoke, âbut it doesnât seem like sheâs here right now.â
heâs now come to realize that it had been awhile since he were waiting on his drink, and started to scan the area looking for you. you were with jay, a kind but natural flirt, hell, owner of this party. you asked him to help you look around for your boyfriend, since you were growing concerned. and he did so, checking everywhere even all the rooms.. once heeseungâs eyes bounced to your figure, he was visibly upset at what he saw.
âyeah no, fuck outta hereâ he scoffs, the drink became completely irrelevant to him now and ditched the annoying girl. you could be fucking around with his close friend as of now and that thought alone sobered him up to a peak. why the hell are they going into a room, at a party..? he knew his eyes werenât playing tricks on him and he may be a little drunk/high but heâs not stupid. he wanted to come up with a logical reason but he couldnât, thatâs all he could think as he stepped closer and closer to the door you and jay hid behind.
you both had vanished from the hallway of doors before heâd even gotten there, opting to check the bar instead, only to find the perky girl whoâd talked to him before. heeseung was so confused, but it didnât stop him from rummaging from room to room. only making him angrier that you werenât in any of them, and neither was jay. his hand dove into the back pocket of his jeans to ring your number. when you answered, his voice immediately aired through the speaker.
ây/n, where the hell are you ?! â he drunkenly grumbles. you only laugh, you couldnât help yourself. âhello ? .. â you laughed again.
when you began to worry about heeseung being intoxicated and wandering around a party full of girls the panic settled in quickly. so, jay being the gentleman nobody thinks he is, tries to ease your mind with jokes to cheer you up as you kept looking around. that being while you were still on the phone, struggling to answer. âhello?..â
ây/n, can you hear me ??â he says for the millionth time already, voice laced with aggravated undertones.
âhello ? who is this ??â you hadnât checked the caller id and you were far too occupied with finding heeseung. the music was far too loud and as you couldnât hear any responses, you just hung up.
âwhat the actual fuckâŚâ heeseung was more pissed off than confused, he couldnât believe youâd just hang up on him like that. were his suspicions actually true ??
ŕš ŕš ŕš
âwanna try the balcony next ?â jay suggests as heâs slowly running out of options of where he could be, he knew he had to be in this house somewhereâ heeseung would never just up and leave without you.
âsure!â you nod, following behind him as he lead you outside.
meanwhile, heeseungâs driving himself to a new level of insanity from not being able to find you. he thinks of anywhere else you couldâve run to and the last and only place he hadnât checked yetâ the balcony. he could only hope you were out there or heâs going to be worried sick. his fingers curl around the handle of the sliding door opening it to a surprised jay, and an even more shocked, you. both of your eyes darting to heeseung as soon as his figure leaned into frame.
âget the fuck up.â heeseungâs eyes glared at your being in utter annoyance.
âhee, i was looking for you!â you followed as he said, capturing his arms in yours only to your surprise heâd let go.
âjay, do you mind ?â the extra had gotten the message quickly and he just headed back inside to his packed habitat.
âwhere did you go baby, i couldnât find you..â you say, looking into his eyes in honesty noticing the atmospheres gotten heavy.
âwhere did i go?? y/n, where did YOU go ?!â his figure shifts, staring at you in utter disgust. his mind was taking him to all kinds of places, places he never wanted to see, think, or hear of.
âto look for you? i said that already.â your brows furrowed.
âhmm, that's crazy cause i was doing the same thing.â he wanted to cut to the chase. âcouldnât find me so you just wandered off with jay ?? huh?â
âwhat ?? is that how low you think of me ? heeseung ??â your hands reach your hips. you canât help but be offended. your boyfriend thought you were jacking off with his friend of all people. you had a reason to be.
âi mean itâs what it looked like !â he crosses his arms across his chest as he gritted through his teeth. âknew you shouldnât have worn this outfit, itâs too revealing, bet you were the talk of the whole night..â
âwow,â you scoff, your body now facing another direction. you couldnât believe him right now, first he accuses you of being with jay and now heâs acting insecure all because you wanted to wear a cute skirt. you donât wear those quite often so it took a lot of courage for you to, but now youâre just second guessing everything.
âiâm talking to you, y/n. look at me.â you were flabbergasted, talk to him ?? what about how he openly admits you would cheat on him, or how heâs criticizing you for simply wearing something out of your comfort zone.
âwell, iâm done talking.â
âfine, get to the car. weâre leaving.â you completely ignored him but had done as he said. he was fully sober by now, you were sure. he followed you not so long after storming out of the front door and once in the car, he slammed the door behind him.
ŕš ŕš ŕš
the drive from jayâs place was filled with a weird tension in the air, you noticed heeseung giving you glances from time to time checking up on you, but you werenât to budge until he apologized to you. he thought you were for the team, when he knows youâre his, and only his. the car pauses once in the alignment of your driveway. to your dismay, you hear the doors locking while youâre still inside.
âlet me out, hee.â you sigh heavily, gripping on the door handle.
âbabe, can we talk first..â you couldnât believe it, he wants to talk to you ?? really ?? the âfriend fucker??â how funny, you glare at him.
âwhat heeseung, iâm really tired.â you avert your gaze into the window.
âiâm sorry, i-â you cut him off. âyouâre sorry ?! wow ?? when you should have been earlier ?? where was this apology earlier heeseung, when you actually hurt me.â your voice raised a notch.
âyou know it was the heat of the moment, whatâd you want me to think?? âoh sheâs definitely not with the flirtiest guy on campus, yeah he totally doesnât wanna fuck my hot girlfriendâ.â he mocked a slight pitch change in his voice.
your mouth gaped. âare you really sorry or do you just wanna sleep next to me ??â you asked, you knew he couldnât sleep alone, he needed you by his side.
âhow about both. you know i mean it y/n. youâre just upset.â he plays with the steering wheel.
âdont tell me what i am, now let me out.â you grimace.
he clearly got upset by this, âyou arenât even trying to ease up the problem here ! and then later on you know youâre gonna pin everything on me. knowing damn well i tried fixing things.â he wavered his hands in the air as he spoke, he was kinda right yet you just didnât like the way he was going about it. yes, he is trying to apologize, but you couldnât help but still be mad.
âi get that, thanks for your apology.. but i donât like how you spoke to me earlier.â your eyes fixate on his own. you felt the air tighten, you always did. there was genuine remorse in his eyes, you felt it.
hell, your man had the prettiest face youâd ever seen. and hell, he looked so sexy when heâs mad, and especially now, when heâs sorry. you simply wanted to tear him apart. his hand reaches yours and as he got the chance he wanted to show you how sorry he truly was. the softness of his lips caressed yours. youâd be lying if you said you werenât wet right now. how couldnât you beâŚ
ŕš ŕš ŕš
âmm.. hee ..â you whined as the weight of his lips on yours lightened.
âi donâ wanna apologize to you in here,â he finally unlocked the doors. âget your pretty ass upstairs.â
his eyes traced your body, longing towards the way your pretty thighs look.. then gazing up at your ass as you complied, leaving your skirt riding up itâs soft exterior. an immediate tent grew in his pants. the one thing he loved most about you body wise, had to be your ass. it molded into his hands just perfectly. and it replied to any friction he applied to it on command. he loved how red and bruised it got once his hands launched across itâs surface. and how heâd sometimes be able to see his own handprints. you were the sexiest woman heâs ever laid his eyes on.
ŕš ŕš ŕš
ânggh, hee.. yes, please..â you drool out at the sound of his balls slapping against your ass as he pounded against you. âfuck me baby, fuck me!â you yelp when you feel his nails gripping into your waist.
âyou want it baby, huh, you want it so deep in you donât you, huh ???â his lips caressed your neck as he grabs onto your leg to inch himself more into you.
âyouâre close? mhm, you like how i fuck you sloppy? such a dirty slut for me ..â he chuckled as he felt you clench around his length at his dirty words. âopen your mouth. when i speak to youâ his fingers lazily run circles around your clit.
you couldnât mutter a single word, heâd fucked you completely dumb, your orgasm swelled up so deep inside you. you felt like you could puke but you didnât want it to stop. you never wanted it to end.
âhah.. shit baby, âm gonna cum..â your nails grip his forearms, your arms pushing your boobs together caging them in.
he groaned at the beautiful sight below him, leaning down onto your nakedness caressing one of your nipples with his tongue. your stomach tingled, by the time you knew it your orgasm peaked, leaving his cock all messy of your juices. you whined as he pulls out, looking down at your folds and spreading them before grazing his mouth over your heat, flicking his tongue on your already overly sensitive bud. you could cry right in this moment from just how heavenly your boyfriend was making you feel. you held onto him for dear life as he buried his face between your plush thighs, the lewd sounds filling the room as he drank you.
âturn over.â he demands once coming back up for air again, you obey straight away, laying onto your stomach, letting out heavy breaths as your body ached.
heeseung lifted your hips, putting you on all fours.
âcan you take some more for me baby? âm close..â he puckers kisses all over your ass and waist, heeseung hadnât came yet. he kinda has this weird game in his head where he tries to see how long he can last until he physically just canât take it anymore. itâs oddly satisfying in the end because not only does he cum so much more but he gets to fuck you even longer, itâs a win win in his book !
âmhm.. more baby !â you respond quickly, you were greedy as fuck for his cock and he loved that you were just as horny as him.
with that, he were thrusting like no tomorrow into your tight cunt. a loud slap to your ass comes with full force, barely giving you any time to react. your body jerks forward, jaw locked in place as you grab onto the sheets to keep you stable. your head was empty, no thoughts other than how good heeseung was fucking you like his life depends on it.
âpussy made just for me, you feel so good baby. you love milking my cock, donât you?â his moaning reached another level of loud. it was so sexy..
âall yours baby, please come in me ! fill me up hee !!â he pulled out before thrashing back in, noticing the white ring around his dick changing sizes everytime his length swipes through your core.
âthatâs right, yeah baby, where do you want it ??â his pace quickens, you can barely catch your breath. you felt your high returning, his high approaching quicker as you clench around him, once more.
âinside ! oh please inside me !!â you turn your head towards him giving him a pleading look, a look that stroked his ego a little too much. you felt his jizz filling you up and leaking from your open as he slid himself from you.
âbaby!.. iâm not done..â you pouted.
âi know, i know. donât worry princess.â you felt two of his digits thrusting into you, biting your lip as he made your back arch in surprise.
your hand grips the sheets of the bed even tighter as the other played over your thirsty clit. and with just a curl, you bursted. whines filling the room, your body collapsing and a shaky sigh leaving your body as you rub your legs together to stop the throb, your lover felt accomplished with the result.
âshaking orgasm.â he chuckled, his fingers traced lines along the slope of your waist and his lips finding place on yours.
what an apology. you felt lush. (ă¤Ď`・)
THNX FOR 450+ FOLLOWERS YAâLL WTF, itâs only been like 2 weeks on this acc :â)) i appreciate all of u for reading my content hehe âĄď¸
#heeseung smut#enhypen smut#heeseung x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen drabbles#lee heeseung x reader#enhypen imagines
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Grease (the tragedy)
âCareful, those marks on the floor arenât just oil and paint.â
jeon wonwoo x reader
word count: 5.8k
warnings: smut [minors DNI], fluff, angst, mechanic!wonu, annoyances to lovers, blind date gone wrong but then gone right, kissing, clit stuff, oral (f. rec), thigh fucking (oop), this all happens at a desk LMAO, title is a what I thought was a funny spin on how people say "grease (the musical)"....has nothing to do with the musical though but lots to do with actual grease!!!
synopsis: In which you have to sit through one of the worst dates of your life, followed by the insistent tug of fate and compulsion that lead you straight back to where you'd sworn you'd never go.
[a/n]: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WIFE CAMOTHY @highvern everyone go say happy birthday to cam or ill appear in your room at night đŤ anygays HAVE FUN READING THIS I hope this is all the sexy wonu content you wanted, I cant wait for your reaction hehehhehe
and also bigbigbigbig thank you to jessifer @the-boy-meets-evil for proofing this for me!!! ily heh
and and to everyone reading this who is not cam, I hope you enjoy reading mechanic!wonu as much as I liked writing him heheh PLS REMEMBER TO REBLOG AND TELL ME UR THOTS it could be in the tags, replies, an ask literally anything!!!! id love to hear what you guys think!!!!
masterlist
 [You]: do you think he died on the way [Liv]: hes still not there??? [You]: what do you think????? [Liv]: let me ask Amelia [You]: dont bother [You]: he can show up whenever he wants im leaving in 5 [Liv]: you promised youâd sit thru this!! [You]: sit thru what? an empty seat across from me???
Liv doesnât respond immediately, and you immediately know sheâs buggered off to ask her cousin why your date still wasnât here.Â
Itâs not like you couldnât have asked him yourself, the sparse textbox sitting just under Livâs contact. You open it to inspect the contents.Â
[livâs cousinâs something]: Amelia gave me your number [livâs cousinâs something]: friday night at the sage&salt at 7Â [livâs cousinâs something]: is that okay [You]: uh hey [You]: yeah thatâs fine
Today 7:20 PM
[You]: im here?
The first thread of texts were enough to make you feel like this was some cold business meeting instead of a date, knowing wherever this would lead would be either the city dump or off a cliff. Liv was hearing none of it, taking the guilt tripping route, saying sheâd already committed and her cousin was irritating enough even without a scuffle.
So when Friday evening came around youâd pulled on the first dress your fingers could find, took all of ten minutes fighting with your makeup to make it look like you did something and left the house with zero expectations.Â
Despite that, as you see a man walk into the establishment dressed like heâd gotten into a fight with a squid and a paper shredder, you feel the stone in your chest tank into the abyss. Zero expectations, and heâs somehow managed to strike out anyway.Â
The jacket looks like heâs put it on as a weak cover for the grime stains on his shirt and trousers, a couple jet black splatters across the outfit to really pull the whole thing together. Itâs not like he looked homeless or anything, his face surprisingly handsome with his hair pushed away from his forehead. Although he remains looking like heâd been playing football in some neighbourhood parking lot before remembering he had an adult appointment too.Â
Youâd never seen the man in your life, but your gut told you this was the shit texter whoâd kept you waiting for nearly an hour. He seems to notice too, eyes locking from across the restaurant as the waitress leads him to your table.Â
âWonwoo,â you greet with a difficult smile, half sure it came out as a grimace. âRight?â
âYeah,â he huffs as he practically slams back down on the chair, and you wonder for a moment how the legs didnât give out. He says your name and you nod. âSorry Iâm late, I got a call in the parking lot.â
Heâs been in the parking lot this entire time?!
Itâs like youâve been doused in gasoline and lit on fire, yet somehow needing to give him a shaky reply anyway.Â
âOâoh, I see.â
The waitress saves you from spitting in his face when she asks if you were ready to order.Â
Dinner was off the table, as you discussed with Liv who forwarded it to her cousin to herâwhoever it was that set up this god awful dateâand agreed on dessert and perhaps a drink.Â
âIâll have the chocolate cake,â you request in an attempt to make this somewhat better. You consider for a moment before asking for a drink as well, âAnd a dry gin martini, please.â
âUm,â he staggers as he barely skims the menu, ultimately flipping it closed. âIâll have the same, I guess.â
Deep voice. You mightâve liked that if you werenât already so peeved.Â
The waitress disappears with the menus, leaving you two alone for the first time.Â
âSo,â you start with an exhale. âHow do you know Amelia?â
âHer husband.â
âI see.â
Silence.Â
âHow do you know her husband?â
He sighs like this is all inconveniencing him, and it irks you to an irrespective degree. Like you wanted to be here either.Â
âHe brings his car to the workshop alot, became friends somewhere along the line.â
âWorkshop?â
He looks a little startled, cocking his head to the side. âIâm a mechanic? Did Oliviaâwas itânot tell you?â
âNo, she didnât.â
Itâs silent yet again as the man across from you refuses to elaborate. You curse as you ask him a follow up question. If there was anything you hated more than shouldering a dead conversation, it was sitting through an awkward silence.Â
One hour. Youâd sit through this for one more hour and then youâd leave.Â
âWhat kind of cars do you work on?â
âExpensive ones,â he answers. You mightâve kicked yourself if heâd ended it at that, but he continues with a purse of his lips. âOnes that rich people abuse to an inch of the machineâs life and wonder why the dealership gives up on it. Vintage pieces too.â
âHave I heard of it?â
âThe cars?â
âNo, I mean,â you let out a breath. âYour workshop.â
âJeon Motors, just a couple streets down actually.â
You did know what he was talking about, not expecting to recognise it through the empty question, passing by it on multiple occasions in this part of the city.
âOh, Iâve seen it a few times.â
âYeah, weâve been there for a while.â
âFamily business?â
âUhâsort of.âÂ
âOkay,â you sigh in an irritated laugh. This was going to be a very difficult hour. âKeep that to yourself too.â
âIs there a problem?â
Just as you lift your eyes to lock with his, a ready yes, there is actually a problem on your tongue, thereâs an intrusion.Â
âHere are your chocolate cakes,â the waitress places the cakes down, and then the drinks. âAnd your dry gin martinis. Do you guys need anything else?â By the time the waitress is gone youâve somewhat forced yourself to put that sudden surge of flames out, to a degree at least.Â
âOkay,â he sighs, grabbing his glass and downing nearly half the contents. He emerges, wiping a bit of a spill from the corner of his mouth. âLetâs get this out of the way.â
âHm?â Heâs speaking to you with a very weird surge of intensity, and it confuses you.
âNeither of us wanna be here. Youâre clearly trying to be hospitable but Iâd really rather you not, especially when weâre both doing this to get our respective ticks off our hides.â
There isnât much you can do but stare at him.Â
âHave I misjudged your advances?â he asks over his glass, sharp eyes piercing.Â
âNo!â you yelp, reaching for your drink yourself, taking big sips only to emerge sputtering and heaving.Â
Your date looks like heâs rising out of his chair when you raise a hand to stop him.Â
âNo,â you repeat, less jumpy this time. âI guess we couldâve cleared that out from before.â
Did heâŚsnort?
âSorry.â Dropping his chin to his chest, he composes himself.Â
âWhat?â you ask, remaining annoyed as ever.Â
âNothing.â
That does it. You slam your now empty glass down on the table, slipping your fork out of the napkin a little forcefully, the metal glinting in the light of the restaurant. You dig into a corner of the cake and shove it in your mouth.Â
If he was gonna be rude, you could be too.Â
âI donât know about hospitable.â You swallow. âBut I assumed not being an ass was kind of an unwritten rule for any situation really. Including the ones youâd rather not be in.â
Wonwoo stares at you with a blank face, his cake untouched. âIâm being an ass. My laugh couldnât have offended you that much.â
âSo you did pick that up,â you comment. âWith the way this conversationâs going I wouldâve thought it flew right over your engine.â
âIâd argue your laugh was the least offensive thing youâve done tonight.â You plunge your fork into your cake again. âBut clearly weâre in different realms of etiquette.â
Your eyes meet the rough stains on his attire, and then his own that bore into yours like a challenge. The cake isnât too sweet, rich just the right amount and texturally sound. Maybe something good did come out of this fiasco.Â
âOkay fine,â he announces, sitting up straighter. âI apologise.â
âFor laughing?â
âAnd for being obscenely late.â
âAnd?â
âAndâŚâ he genuinely looks like heâs struggling to figure it out, but catches your eyes flickering to his tattered and stained outfit. âAnd for my entirely inappropriate dressing sense. Youâll have to forgive me for that one, oil and grime are my spoils of war.â
âWear it like a badge, mister mechanic, but perhaps somewhere itâs appreciated.âÂ
Wonwoo has already finished his drink, his cake remaining untouched. âYouâre quite adamant on disliking me.â
âAnd youâre quite adamant on being a horrid conversationalist.â
The corners of his mouth lift the slightest bit. Opening his mouth to respond, you cut him off. âCars donât talk? Or perhaps, machines are easier to understand?â
âMore like I donât care to be personable.â
âThat canât be good for business.â
âThe cars speak for themselves.â
Heâs a weird one. Even more so when he offers to pay the entire bill, promising you he wasnât lying when he said he was good at what he does, and to âmake up for lost personality points.â You manage to pay your half anyway, considering the circumstances.Â
âCan you at least let me drive you home?â Wonwoo asks as you both step out of the establishment soon after.Â
âDepends.â You fix the strap of your bag. âWill it fall apart on the highway?â
The blaring white of the restaurant's outdoor lights backlight Wonwoo to make him look like some sad angel. He turns to you, the same slight smirk that seems to be plastered on his face. âWhy donât you find out?â
âWhat do you mean sell it? I got this thing a year ago!âÂ
There isnât much you can do but sigh loudly as you listen to Olivia talk about the state of her car, the one that cost too much to justify but she seemed to use and abuse like a very replaceable toy truck.Â
Leaning against the hood of the darn thing, you talk to her. âThe dealership is giving you a shit deal to take it off your hands, you might as well try your luck.â
The look on her face is easy to read as she silences. Not convinced in the slightest, waiting for the conversation to end just so she could figure it out on her own. Sighing loudly, you look back to the dark beauty with a crate of issues that make it spit and sputter to a stop every few weeks.Â
âHow much did you say the repairs cost again?â
âEnough to put me on food stamps,â she whines through her frustration, tears pricking against her eyes as they glisten under the neighbourhood streetlights. âWhy are you smirking like that?!â
âItâs just,â you pause as you consider your next words, pressing your lips together. âThis is a little bit your fault.â
Lies, it was entirely her fault.Â
Liv stares like youâve just offended her, which youâre sure you have.
âCare to share how this possible bankruptcy could be my fault?"
âBecause you drive the thing like you have a secret reserve buried somewhere in Tenerife.â
âMy apologies for making a habit of not being a public nuisance and going forty on a national highway.â
âYour speed-o-metre is not the issue here.â
âYes, of course, everythingâs my fault.â
âLiv, please!â You groan loudly. âJustâŚletâs try putting up a listing tomorrow. Consider the prospects and you can decide from there.â
Sagging her shoulders and stretching her neck, Liv decides to simply trudge back indoors in silence. You take it as a begrudging yes, and follow her inside.Â
That very night, when you were at the very cusp of falling into the dark space of sleep, your brain re-awakens before your eyes do. A jolt as the memory comes back to you of the many months ago, sitting in that restaurant across from a man who was too handsome for the personality he seemed to sire.Â
âExpensive ones,â he had said. âOnes that rich people abuse to an inch of the machineâs life and wonder why the dealership gives up on it.â
How fitting.Â
âAre you going to explain or should I explode instead?âÂ
Youâd mentally prepared for the bombardment of accusations from Liv, her questioning perfectly right as you yourself cringed at the thought of showing your face here of all places. The one last one thatâd officially banned her from ever setting you up with an individual of her choosing ever again.Â
Hearing only silence as her answer, she appeals; âI thought he was the worst date of your life.â
âNothing to do with his skills as a mechanic,â you mumble, refusing to make eye contact.Â
âAnd everything to do with this being a horrible idea anyway!â Liv stares up at the sign on top of the garage. Jeon Motors. âWhat makes you think this guy can fix my car?â
What did make you think he could fix Livâs car? If youâd known you might have given her an answer, but as you stare at the giant signboard that youâve driven past for longer than you can remember, you canât help but feel this place has been haunting you. Just a little.Â
You canât help but feel the tingle of goosebumps rise on your skin, the hairs across the expanse standing up at the thought of walking inside. There was no way you could differentiate the reaction from plain nerves or from the cringing drills that sound all the way outside the establishment. Regardless, you make an attempt to look confident as you make your strides into the pungent of the workshop.Â
The first thing you note is howâŚclean everything is. Cleaner than any other workshop youâve walked into anyway.Â
The interior is bigger than it looks from the outside, the ginormous hall hosting about a dozen cars within your eyeshot alone. One side of the great hall holds an array of parked cars in different stages of dismantled and deconstructed, while the other side is lined with contraptions that look like stripped and enlarged elevators.Â
Once youâve inhaled a beyond recommended amount of smoke fumes and listened past all of the clanging, banging and sparks, you register the people that are elbow deep in the hoods of the vehicle theyâre working on, enough to leave you and Liv standing at the entrance of an establishment that you can barely make sense of.Â
âCan I help you?â A man in stained beige overalls approaches your wide eyed pair, face half covered in his baseball hat and hands occupied with a rag.Â
To your slightest dismay, it isnât the man youâre looking for.
âUhâ is Wonwoo here?â you ask.Â
âHeâs in a meeting right now. Are you a friend?âÂ
No, just a failed love interest.
âHe,â you falter. If you werenât a friendâŚthen what were you? âHe gave me his card.â
âDo you need help with your car?â
âMine, actually,â Liv pipes. âItâs outside if you wanna take a look first.â
With one sweeping look across the warehouse, your eyes land on one of the few doors on the left. You register the plain look of it for barely a moment before joining Liv outside.Â
By the time her car has been rolled and parked inside for a more thorough inspection, itâs taken you every last grain of your willpower to not stalk back out and wait in your car. For whatever reason, you canât help but feel a very familiar spasm of irritation spark through you. Here you are, left anxiously waiting for the same man for a second time, merely feet away but remaining occupied with more important things.Â
At the very least, the multiple hands prodding around the carâs engine were being somewhat of use, attempting to survey the same issues that had been looked at about a dozen times before. You silently promise to be a better person if this trip wouldnât be for vain. Â
âAm I late for something again?âÂ
Your throat is suddenly clogged as you open your mouth and no sound graces your presence. The face that meets you has his eyebrows raised as he stares at you in expectation, a ghost of a smile on his face.Â
âWâWonwoo, hi, um.â You clear your throat loudly, heat cursing your cheeks. âNo, of course not.â
âTo what do I owe the pleasure afterâŚfour months?â he asks, hands on his hips and his back straightened.
âIâŚmy friendâs car needed to be looked at soâŚâ
âAh, of course!â He turns to where youâve motioned, looking at the popped hood of the car his employees are working on. âIâll take a look at it myself, donât worry about it.â
Heâs already walking away, towards the car and leaving you a ways away from the action. You stare at his back; the overalls tied at the waist and the stained white T-shirt that clings to his form from the humidity.
Wonwoo remains a man of a few words, and you remain at wits end about it all.Â
A loud honk gives you something to do as you jump at the sound so up close, scrambling to move away from the smack centre as another car pulls into the garage.Â
âCareful, those marks on the floor arenât just oil and paint.â Wonwoo snickers from his place hunched over the hood as he cranes his neck to look at you.Â
You walk over to where he is to get out of the way. âWas that meant to sound like an innuendo?â
âI was talking about the occasional running over someoneâs foot,â he answers. âNot sure what you were thinking.âÂ
Ignoring the jab, you note that it was now only you and him crowding the car, âWhereâs Olivia?â
âWent to look at spare parts.â You watch him as his gloved hands reach further into the enclave and yank at something hard.Â
âSo you can fix it?âÂ
âThe car? Itâll take a couple days but itâs not really an issue.â
Furrowing your brows, you press on, âBut the dealershipââ
âDealerships are the spawn of the devil,â he grunts as he finally wrenches out a spare nut or bolt or something thatâs covered in oil. âLet me guess, they wanted her to sell it back to them?â
Itâs your turn to raise your brows. âYes. They tried fixing it, but it'd just stop again.â
âBecause theyâve been fixing the symptoms.â He raises his eyes to meet yours, hands occupied with rubbing the part in his hands relatively clean with a rag. âThey havenât bothered to do anything about the actual problem.âÂ
âBecause thatâs gonna costâŚ?â
âCouple hundred, give or take,â he announces nonchalantly, turning his focus back to the engine.Â
âButââ Thatâs it?
âFifty extra for every question I have to answer after this.â You briefly wonder if Wonwooâs eyes were always this piercing, boring into your soul like he didnât need words to know what was going on with you.Â
âFine,â you huff, moving to drag a chair over, mostly just so you could have reason to break eye contact, and plop down as you watch him work.Â
The more you think about it, the more you can find yourself unbothered by his strange behaviour. He wasnât bleak, but nowhere near one of the more interesting people youâve met. Taking the opportunity to really scan the man head to toe, you canât say you find anything truly concrete to be this put off by him.Â
Not much of a talker, but with the times youâve prayed for a man that knew when to shut up sometimes, you wonder how much you can actually complain about this boon in particular.Â
Besides, he was a looker, and you were completely content shutting your trap if it meant you got to shamelessly ogle at him from this close.Â
âYou know, this place looks bigger than it does from the outside.â
Wonwoo stares pointedly.Â
You raise a shoulder in nonchalance, âWasnât a question!â
He simply huffs as he mumbles, âMore length than breadth I suppose.â
âWhat are those things called?â you ask as you watch a sedan get lifted into the on some platform on the other end of the row.Â
Glancing back, he answers, âPost lift, car lift, whatever you wanna call it.â
âWhat does it do?â
âTake a wild guess.â
âTouchĂŠ.âÂ
Glancing back at him, you catch sight of his stained shirt once again. âIs that the same thing you wore to our date?â
Chin to chest, he registers what heâs wearing, hands still working on pulling bolts and boxes out of the hood. âHave about twenty of the same shirt, I can never be too sure.â
âYouâre impossible.â
He smirks, âTouchĂŠ.âÂ
You questioned if this was a mistake.Â
Olivia could pick up her car herself, so why did you insist to be the one that did it? As you pay the taxi driver, you feel your ankles lock for a moment as you move to slip out of the cab. Frozen, you hear the driver ask you if everything was alright, to which your legs seem to work again, finally foot to gravel in front of the dreaded workshop.
The Jeon Motors sign blares the same as it always has in the afternoon light, glinting as it encourages you to walk in and do one of the stupider things youâve done in life. Other than the ridiculous outfit youâve put on, of course.Â
But alas, as you hand over your slip to one of the many mechanics in the workshop, you find yourself praying he wasnât here after all, that perhaps you could miss him as you leave and never have to see him again.Â
Somebody yells out his name, and the dream drifts away like smoke.Â
Finding the courage, you look up to where the man shouted for him, and immediately wish you hadnât.Â
Wonwoo remains in his overalls, the same ones that he had tied to his waist the last time you saw him. His undershirt howeverâŚ
The tank top is revealing too much for you to pretend you donât care, his hair remaining pushed back and away from his forehead as he walks over to you in what feels like slow motion. He takes the slip that he does not need, smiling at you as he says his hellos.Â
âCarâs all fixed up, just need some papers that need signing and youâre all set.â
âOh, but Liv isnât here today.â
âThatâs alright, you can sign them too,â he reassures, motioning for you to walk with him towards the car. âThe car was alright in the test drives, revving hasnât caused any problems either.â
He halts in front of the now (supposedly) fixed black sedan and pats the hood lightly, âIf anything happens tell her to bring it straight here, although it shouldnât have any more problems.â
âWhatâs your rate of return on customers?â you ask, a slight smirk on your face.
He thinks for a moment, âPretty crap. But I guess that means Iâm doing something right.â
You consider yourself something of a helicopter parent when it comes to your own car, but perhaps youâd change that if it meant youâd get to come here a little more often.Â
Goodness, whatâs gotten into you.
Wonwooâs smiling too, and for a brief moment the silence is nearly awkward. A pause before he proposes leaving.Â
âShall we go to the office then?âÂ
Nodding eagerly, you trail behind him as he leads you towards the other end of the workshop, passing by even more cars in all their stripped or constructed glory. Glancing in front, you catch sight of Wonwooâs back, ensnared for a moment before you snap your head away, reciting every curse word you know like a mantra.Â
âItâs less hot in here too, keep the air on all the time.â Wonwoo stands in front of the plain doors, hands on the handle to wrench it open. You recognise it as the same door you had noted a few days ago. âWould you like anything? Coffee, tea?â
âUm, just water is fine, thanks.â
Itâs quite plain, beige and leather against cream walls and unfittingly white lights. Thereâs a desk on one corner thatâs beyond cluttered with more papers than you can register, pens and other office supplies mixed into the disorganised chaos of the large tabletop.
âSorry about the mess, I can never find time to sort through it.â To your surprise, the light tinge of his cheeks suggest he might actually feel a little embarrassed.Â
Cute.Â
Thereâs cabinets that line on one of the far walls, and you watch him take his gloves off to open it and reach for a cup. The white porcelain emerges stained with an ashy grey as his fingers betray him. He looks flustered, glancing at his hands and back up to the cabinet.Â
You canât help but laugh a little, moving forward to help. âItâs alright, let me.â
âSorry,â he apologised again, with a sheepish look on his face. âIâll, um, wash this off.â
âGo on, Iâm here,â you reassure as you move towards the water dispenser in the corner to fill your clean cup.Â
He returns with significantly cleaner hands and apologises one last time. âSeems all I do around you is apologise.â
You have the good humour to chuckle, âSo Iâve noticed.â
He does well to clear out most of the clutter thatâs on his desk, leaving enough room to set down a few pieces of paper as you take a seat on the opposite side.Â
As you scan through the papers, he attempts to make sober conversation. âYou shouldâŚbring your car around for inspections if you want.â
âOh? Even if I ask a million questions?â
âI can make an exception or two,â he grins.Â
âAnd if you charge me double?â
âMight not charge you at all.â
âMight?â you question as you lift the pen heâd given you to sign the first space.Â
âMight.â
âAnd whatâre the conditions for that?âÂ
He doesnât answer as he ponders and you fill in the second blank. âIâll have to think about that.â
You snort before you can help it, your last signature coming out a little wonky as your hands shake. Turning the papers over to him, you continue, âWell then, let me know when you figure it out.â
He stares pointedly as he accepts the papers before dropping his eyes again, âCan I?â
âHm?â
âCan I? Let you know?âÂ
Itâs like youâve been frozen over, the typewriter in your mind jamming as it punches out the implications of what heâs saying.Â
âIt seems, at least to me, that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,â he continues.Â
You hesitate. âI think so too.â
âIâŚI donât want to put anything like pressure on you butââÂ
âWould you like to try the new gelato place downtown this week?â you ask finally as you save him from his misery. âIfâŚyouâd like.â
He looks stunned for a moment before heâs scrambling, âOhâof course! Yes, anytime is fine with me.â
âGreat,â you smile, lifting from your seat. âItâs a date.â
âIâll promise to wash my hands this timeâŚand my shirt. And I wonât be late.âÂ
âLetâs not make promises we canât keep,â you tease.Â
Youâre nearing the door as he follows behind, and just as youâre about to pull down on the handle, you hear him say your name.Â
Turning around, almost too eagerly, you look up at him in expectation. Heâs close, almost right behind you as he looks like heâs debating whether opening his mouth is a good idea.Â
âAre you doing anything else today?âÂ
âUm,â you stutter for a moment. âI donât have to drop off the car till later tonight, thatâs all really.â
He swallows. âDo you wanna stay? Just a little while. We can stay in here, nobody comes in anyway.â
You arenât entirely sure why you said yes, because you did actually have dinner plans with Liv later tonight, but the teeny tiny voice in your mind egged you on anyway. Besides, Liv wouldnât mind, not if you were cancelling for this.
This entailed the very friendly contact of Wonwooâs tongue in your mouth, and the extremely cordial way it seemed to caress your insides. If somebody asked you how it led to this, you donât think youâd have an answer. Not that you care, especially when his hands are grabbing your waist and hips like that.
Heâs already locked the door, reassuring you that nobody would find their boss and client in the smack dab middle of the devilâs tango. You take his word for it, relishing in the way his hot breath hits your skin below your ears, his mouth sucking under your earlobes as you whimper ever so quietly.Â
Your hands are on his exposed biceps, feeling him up all to your heart's content. âDo youâDo you always wear stuff like this?â
He emerges, wet lipped and eyes trained. âSo I wasnât imagining it.â
âImagining what?â you ask as you let him unbuckle your trousers.
âPlease. Like you werenât stripping me with your eyes.â
If you were warm before you, you're boiling up now. Were you being so obvious?
âItâs alright,â he reassures as you feel his fingers make contact with the crotch of your panties, pushing in to put pressure on your clit. âWouldnât be here if I hadnât picked up on it.â
You feel his fingers push the dampening fabric away as his fingers make contact with your hole, coating his fingers in the arousal thatâs made itself known. Itâs hard to not hiss at the way he begins to circle it, thanking the universe that the loud noises of the workshop outside were masking whatever evidence of the heinous crime you were committing inside.Â
Back against the couch in his office, you settle into the cushions once you feel him rub at your clit, one hand spreading your lips apart as he continues to massage your own wetness onto your throbbing cunt.Â
When he retreats you almost cry out, but are smothered when he plunges two fingers into your hole instead, curling them almost immediately inside you. The consistent brush of the tips of his fingers on your walls are making it difficult to keep your eyes open, and absolutely impossible to keep your moans at bay.Â
âWonwoo, thatâs so good, fuck.â
Through your closed eyes, you donât note when Wonwoo gets on his knees. But you do feel him yank your trousers off entirely, and you definitely feel him place his wet mouth flush on your lower lips, sucking at your clit as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of you mercilessly.Â
Thatâs all it takes for your noises to become increasingly high pitched, hands buried in his beautiful hair as he continues to pleasure you beyond imagination.Â
âIâm so close, keep going, please, it feels soââ
He somehow buries his face in deeper, sucking harder, licking faster, and itâs enough for you to finally feel yourself collapsing on the inside, your composure dissolving as you moan so loud youâre sure they can hear it outside, even through all the clanging and revs of cars.Â
Thereâs no way for you to know how long you lay there slumped against the couch cushions, but when you hear Wonwoo speak to you in your ear, you answer.Â
âWas that okay?â
âMore than okay,â you say as you grab his face and pull his lips to yours, tasting the tang in his mouth from your arousal. âDo you have a condom?â
âIâfuck,â he thinks for a moment. âI donât think I do.â
You try not to feel too disappointed, but you sigh into his mouth anyway.Â
âCan I fuck your thighs?â you hear him ask, and you might have just orgasmed again, untouched.Â
âFuck, yes you can.âÂ
With a yelp, you feel yourself lifted off the couch as you wrap your arms around Wonwooâs neck, letting him guide you to his desk. âWonwoo!â
You hear a loud crash of the desk being stripped of all its inhabitants, and your back hitting the cool of the table top.Â
Wonwoo unties the arms of his overalls around his waist, letting the legs pool to the floor before slipping his hard cock out of his boxers.Â
You donât see it as you feel him lock your knees together and lift both your calves to rest on one of his shoulders. But you do feel it as he pushes the head into the seam of your thighs, watching the indent as the pink of his dick appears before you through the skin of your thighs.Â
Wonwooâs face is contorted as he pulls back and pushes back through again, this time brushing against your still sensitive clit. You gasp at contact, and immediately feel him thrusting faster.Â
âWonwoo,â you grunt. âLower.â
He obliges, pushing his dick lower so it can rub flush against your clit as he begins to roughen up his pace.Â
You moan as you feel his free hand that isnât holding your legs trail to the ends of your shirt, caressing over your stomach to pull it up and reveal your bra clad tits. He pushes his hands under the nearest cup and begins to grope you so wonderfully with his big, warm hands. Rolling the bud between his fingers, you can only grasp onto his wrists as a handheld to keep you down on earth.Â
The desk beneath you is rattling with noise, the full drawers making themselves known as Wonwoo pounds into your thighs like he would die if he stopped, mouth coming in contact with whatever skin of your legs he could reach, his breath fanning the side of your knees.Â
Youâre close again, and you know he is too with the way his thrusts are beginning to grow sloppy.Â
âThere,â he pants. âAlmost.â
You orgasm for the second time, the throb your clit beyond comprehension as the rough of his dick slides across your clit mercilessly.Â
âCum like this, Wonwoo please I need to see you cum.â
And he does, shooting the heft of his load to cover your already wet cunt and thighs, landing on your stomach as he continues to ride out his high between your legs.Â
The back of your head hits the table as you take in gulps of air through the aftermath of it all. Wonwoo is putting his weight on the back of your thighs, holding onto the table for support.Â
âOh, Liv is never gonna let me live this down,â you pant, lolling your head to one side as you register him.Â
He peers up at you through his hair, the stupid smirk on his face, âDo you care?â
Youâre smiling a little too when you answer, âNot really.â
And then your legs are off his shoulders as he nestles between them instead, diving in to lift your head and kiss you.Â
And you let him, although you wouldnât really call it too much of a kissânot when the both of you were smiling like idiots through the clash.Â
#svthub#wonwoo smut#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#wonwoo fic#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo scenarios#wonwoo imagines#wonu smut#wonu fluff#wonu x reader#wonu scenarios#wonwoo#wonu#seventeen#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#svt#svt smut#svt angst#svt fluff#svt scenarios#svt imagines#svt x reader#em.writes
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#all weebs should be legally required to read about japanese imperialism both inside and outside the country that is now labeled as âjapanâ
Couldn't have put it better if I tried, prev.
The Ainu have not intentionally forgotten their culture and their language. It is the modern Japanese state that, from the Meiji era on, usurped our land, destroyed our culture, and deprived us of our language under the euphemism of assimilation. In the space of a mere 100 years, they nearly decimated the Ainu culture and language that had taken tens of thousands of years to come into being on this earth. ~Kayano Shigeru (1926-2006) Our Land Was a Forest: An Ainu Memoir
#book rec#important#ainu people#indigenous peoples#ainu mosir#kayano shigeru#i've also read this book#if anyone wants it and can't access it let me know and we'll figure it out#the author literally did want as many people as possible to read about the ainu#and he's passed on in 2006#back to the land of his ancestors and the kamuy no doubt#the kamuy must have received him well for everything he did and how hard he fought to preserve what was left of the ainu culture#and language#but it hurts so much to know that he was one of the last living native speakers of the language#i don't even know if there are natives alive today or if the language is only taught as a second language in ainu mosir/hokkaido#but it's good that they're making an effort to teach it which was what he wanted#homiro said some shit#i'm very passionate about this and hope my phd project is acceped because i want to write about them#but not in a pity kind of way but rather in a resilience kind of way#yeah#the speech he gave to the old lady who helped him translate a yukar had me bawling like a baby but it was what made me want to do it#and think that pity is very colonial like positive post-colonial ideas or something like the poor peoples who were abused#instead reparations should focus on preserving the culture and giving rights to the peoples#like... the ainu were only recognised as an ethnic minority and an indigenous people of the japanese nation in 2008. let that one sink in.#and it was because of UNESCO and UN pressure to preserve these cultures and give rights to indigenous peoples#so yeah#weebs really need to learn about the culture and history of japan and the japanese empire#and also not think that the ainu didn't fight much like the native americans they also fought but that was before the meiji era#because one thing ppl need to understand is that people get oppressed by colonisers when they resist oppression with all they have#if the wajin/shamo/japanese didn't have guns they'd have been crushed and for that i have resent my own ancestors
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LIAR, LIAR!
PAIRING â kim mingyu x fem!reader
â AND THE DANCE FLOOR IS FILLING UP WITH BLOOD, BUT OH LORD, YOUâVE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE! â
WORD COUNT â 17k
SYNOPSIS â in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessmanâs very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill â and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.
TAGS â murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctionalâ˘, mentions of suicide, unrealistic circumstances, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst, medium long hair!gyu bc self-indulgence, tsundere-ish reader again guys sorry i love her so bad, mentions of parental neglect, this ended up so long help
⪠verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex,, florence + the machine - mermaids,, zayn - bordersz,, mikky ekko - who are you, really?,, q - alone,, danna paola - tenemos que hablar,, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, summer camp - i want you
NOTE â one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyuâs role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. the music recs above are also really nice to get into the vibe! enjoyyyy :D
[ ONE ] â§Ë ¡ .â â
[ JUMP TO PART TWO ]
i. ASK ME THE TRUTH AND IâLL TELL YOU A LIE
the interrogation room is unnecessarily bright, the noise of the water dispenser in the corner and the flickering led light above you running through your ears. the chair youâre seated on is uncomfortable, though itâs nothing compared to the tension you feel as the man in front of you treats you like youâre guilty of something.
âon september 2nd, around six oâclock, your father reportedly got unwell, so he left his office early, choosing to do the rest of his paperwork at home. according to the information we got from the gps tracker in his car, he went straight home, took no detours. he arrived at your family estate thirty minutes later. then at eight oâclock, the police receives a call from you, saying your father hung himself.â
you stare at the the inspector â whose name you did not bother remembering â before waving with your hand. âiâm aware. iâve heard the recap of events many times at this point. this isnât the first time iâm being interrogated, surprisingly enough.â
with a puzzled look, he raises his brow at you. âyou donât think you should be a suspect?â
âno, i donât.â
âat the time of the incident, you were home, as well as two members of the staff. since the staff were on their dinner break and you were apparently in your room, itâs hard to say what exactly happened, since there were no witnesses.â
âdo you mind me asking why you think itâs murder and not just a suicide?â
heâs intrigued by the way you discuss the topic so casually. âyour father was an important man. wouldnât you want to know who killed him if that were the case?â
âsure. iâd thank them.â you smile at him, the hatred for your father shining through. âbelieve me, inspector â my father was a miserable man who surrounded himself with miserable people. i wasnât there by choice.â
âdid he treat you badly, then?â he continues, trying to pry any information out of you.
all you can do is sigh. âi was his daughter in blood and name only. nothing more.â
with your demeanor softening into something sadder, the inspectorâs tone changes into something different. âaside from you, and the staff, of course, we do have another suspect who we think could have something to do with your fatherâs death.â
that sparks your interest. âwho?â
the inspector grabs his small pile of documents to pull a printed photo out of it, putting it before you. you visibly frown, because the person on the photo is someone youâre unfortunately awfully familiar with.
âkim mingyu is a suspect? seriously?â you ask, completely in shock. ironically, heâs the last person youâd suspect in a scenario like the one you currently find yourself in.
âwhat can you tell me about him?â
leaning back in your chair, you list a few things. âheâs a year younger than me. we went to the same high school, same university, have some of the same friends. though all of that is relatively common in our social circle.â
âanything else?â
keeping the insults to yourself for now, you press your lips together. âour parents are good friends. well, were, now that my fatherâs gone. mingyu and i hate eachother to the bone, though.â
âany particular reason why?â
âiâm not sure where it started⌠thereâs just something off about him. itâs always been there. heâsâbeyond arrogant. always showing off his looks, his wealth, his charm, his intelligence. everything. he insults me, i insult him. we simply donât get along, never have. nothing you havenât seen before, iâm sure.â
the inspector raises his brow. âi think you may have left something out.â
âsuch as?â
his hand moves into the blue folder sitting on the table, taking another photo out of it, holding it up before you. âyour father was often spotted with him. at events, business meetings â you name it. matter of fact, your father seemed to be accompanied by kim mingyu more than anyone else. which is interesting, considering you are his only child.â
your gaze turns sour, voice softer yet more hateful than before. âdonât tell me this is the reason iâm a suspect.â
âletâs just say it doesnât make you look good.â
âyou really believe i murdered my own father in cold blood because he cared more about kim mingyu than he ever did about me? thatâs pathetic and ridiculous.â
âyou wouldnât be the first. itâs a plausible story.â
scoffing at the accusation, you shake your head. âweâre done here. the moment you have an actual lead, iâll talk, but not like this. iâm still here grieving and youâre accusing me of being the culprit.â you get up in anger, taking your bag with you before slamming the door shut, not bothering to listen to what the man is trying to tell you to make you stay.
this whole shit-train started two weeks ago. your father was found dead in your childhood home, hung by a rope around his neck. instead of calling it a death by suicide, the police apparently have enough reason to suspect it was a homicide.
youâve been questioned several times in the past few weeks, but thereâs been a gradual shift in the behavior of the inspector and his handimen â theyâre treating you like a suspect now.
which you are, for whatever reason. they have yet to come up with any actual evidence.
your contact in the police force mentioned to you that youâre not just any suspect â youâre one of the two main suspects.
and that is unsettling, especially when you discovered who else is.
as you go down the hall, you suddenly lock eyes with kim mingyu himself, whoâs leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. a few strands of hair hover by his cheeks, framing his strong features.
âwhat the fuck are you doing here?â you ask in a rather hostile manner, the scowl on your face deepening.
his lips part before he starts explaining. âthey wanted to talk to me. again.â
âhavenât you heard the rumors, gyu?â you mockingly use the nickname, taking a step closer to him, âtheyâre saying thereâs a possibility you killed him.â
your arch-nemesis looks back at you with a furrowed brow. âthatâs ridiculous.â
âis it? you were always with him⌠itâs perhaps the only thing that makes sense in all of this.â
he seems offended youâd even insinuate something like that. âitâs really the other way around, though. youâre the one who hated him. i had nothing against the man.â
itâs true that you and your father didnât exactly get along, especially the past few years, to put it lightly. you always considered him to be greedy, cold and unforgiving, and you certainly didnât cry the moment they told you he had passed away.
âno, we all know how much you liked him,â you hardly make an effort to hide your disdain, âbut they must not believe that, considering youâre just as much of a suspect as i am.â
he clenches his jaw. âiâm not guilty.â
âneither am i.â you state. like always, thereâs a tangible coldness to your voice, which he finds soothing, for whatever reason.
itâs quiet for a moment as youâre both unsure of what to say next, a rarity between you.
a few years ago, your father mentioned you and mingyu could make a good pair.
you proceeded to laugh in his face.
mingyu is a constant reminder of what you could be, and thatâs the last thing you need in your life.
âif i find out youâre somehow involved in thisââ
instead of immediately refuting the statement, he narrows his eyes at you. âthen what?â
you realize you need to be careful with your words here â you canât throw around threats to kill people as the top suspect in a murder investigation. âiâll make sure you pay for it. they might buy your little golden-boy act, but i sure as shit donât. i never have.â
a smirk subtly tugs at his lips as he leans more down, eyes flicking lower before they meet yours again. âiâd be careful with my words if i were you,â he firmly tells you, his lashes fluttering, âthereâs always someone watching.â
only now do you take notice of how close youâre standing to him, and you look behind you, seeing the inspector that just interrogated you observing you and mingyu from a distance.
so you push yourself away from him, giving him a last glare before walking away.
mingyu only moves from his spot once youâre gone from his field of view, greeting the inspector with a kind smile.
ii. THE HATRED WE BEAR
you find yourself staring at your fatherâs tombstone with a numb face and the wind breezing through your hair. your makeup is slightly smudged under your eyes from the tears you shed just an hour before, while you were giving the public a final speech regarding his passing.
the funeral was long â too long.
at a certain point, once the whole thing was done and everyone left, you decided to take a quiet moment for yourself in the graveyard to let everything sink in.
you made the mistake of thinking youâd left alone.
a voice youâre too familiar with speaks up behind you. âiâm sorry for your loss.â
of course itâs kim mingyu out of all people whoâs still here, sneaking up on you.
you donât have the energy to make a snarky comment this time. âiâd ask why youâre still here, but itâs a question i already know the answer to.â
he still offers you his answer. âiâm here to check up on you.â
well, that takes you by surprise. âwhy?â
âyou lost the one parent you had left. i donât want you to be alone.â
something about that sentence fuels a sudden anger in you. heâs got some fucking nerve, saying that to you. âmaybe you shouldâve considered that a couple years ago. you know, before you decided to become my dadâs little protege.â
even as a little girl, your bond with your father was a shitty one. your mother passed when you were young, so you barely have any memories left of her.
in an attempt to win his love and affection, you always did everything your father asked of you, yet your efforts were hardly acknowledged. you found him to be a harsh and cruel man, but surely with you being his daughter, his only child, he mustâve cared for you. or so you always told yourself.
something about your yearning for his approval and support changed for the worse when mingyuâs mother became a prominent business partner to your father, about nine years ago. it made him spend more time with the kim family, and you have no idea how or why it happened, but mingyu became like a son for him.
you saw how well your dad treated him, and you cried for a long, long time as you compared it to his neglect towards you. for every pat on mingyuâs back, you got scolded for not being good enough. whenever he got praised, you got discarded. itâs no miracle that you came to be the way that you are. detached, perceptive, appearing to be just as unfeeling as the man who raised you.
you hated your father. with all your heart.
but you grew to hate kim mingyu more.
so to hear him say that he doesnât want you to be alone â that takes the goddamn cake.
he lowers his head at your words. âit wasnât like that.â
âright. of course it wasnât.â your voice is painfully spiteful.
âi wouldnât have done it if i knew it was at your expense. iâm sorry.â
heâs trying to be nice to you, not understanding yet that itâs actually doing more damage, making you angrier. âthe last thing i want is your fucking pity.â
âthen what do you want?â
ânothing you can give me.â itâs a subtle final warning coming from you, because youâre actually about to explode at him. âjust leave me be.â
âplease, just... i wanna help you.â
like a ticking time bomb, you suddenly hit your limit. finally, you turn around, facing him, and itâs only then that he truly sees how upset you are, like a storm suddenly changing its direction, and heâs in the way.
âhelp me? youâd help me by getting the fuck out of my face. you wanna know what i want, mingyu? i want to know what in godâs name everyone loves so much about you, what it is that made my father shut me out completely and replace me with you. he gave you more love than he ever gave me. just looking at you makes me sick. what the fuck did he see in you that he didnât see in me?â you ask, unable to stop yourself from pouring your emotions out to the guy in front of you. âwhy did he hate me so much? even in death, he favors you over me. he left you... everything. a final âfuck youâ to his own child. and for what? for you?â
the fact that you got word from your fatherâs lawyer that your father chose to leave everything he had to mingyu instead of you was like the straw that broke the camelâs back.
throughout your life, you always did what was expected of you. you were the perfect daughter.
and for what?
the fact that your father grew to hate you and love this asshole so much that he left you not a single penny to your name â that is your tipping point.
and mingyu just wordlessly allows you to continue ranting, almost as if he deserves it.
âwhat the fuck is so special about you, huh? because i donât get it. sure, youâve got a nice face and youâre a smart guy, but i donât believe you actually give a shit about others. i bet you came here today to rub my dadâs inheritance in my face â you fucking pretentious douchebag.â
âiâm sorry. i never meantââ he stumbles, nearly falling over as he backs away while you keep stepping forward, feeling surprisingly small in front of you, in spite of his tall frame.
âi donât give a shit if this is what you intended to happen or not! iâm all alone.â you show your sadness right between the anger and hostility, vulnerable in front of him. âno family like everyone else, no money, no house, nothing. abandoned by the one person i had left.â
he looks at you as if youâve just slapped him across the face. heâs never even shown you a hint of vulnerability â nor have you for that matter â so why is he showing it now?
youâre too deep into your breakdown to think rationally about it. âyou took literally everything that i had. and iâll never forgive you for that.â
âplease, let meâlet me fix it.â he chokes out, as overwhelmed by your strong emotions as you are yourself.
the harshness of your words makes him feel like heâs crumbling in your presence. âtalk to me like you care about me one more goddamn time, and iâll make you regret ever meeting me in the first place.â
in all the years that youâve known him, you donât think youâve ever seen him flinch â you doubt any of your words have ever hurt him.
until this moment, it seems. but why is he even hurt? you donât care about him and he doesnât care about you. itâs always been that way, and you have a hard time believing itâll ever change.
the moment you walk away from him with a sharp pain in your chest, pushing him to the side by his shoulder, heâs left behind in a shocked and bewildered state, neither of you aware that a pair of curious eyes witnessed the whole exchange.
iii. ULTERIOR MOTIVES
âthe full inheritance of your father has been transferred over to you.â
the cup of tea you were raising stills with your hand. your eyes narrow at your lawyer as youâre seated in the garden of your fatherâs estate. âwhatâhow? why? it wasnât passed down to me.â
âno, but the person it was passed down to can always make the decision to pass it on. and he did â surprisingly with no strings attached,â he tells you, putting the document from the notary in front of you, âi had it all double-checked. everythingâs there, the documents signed by kim mingyu himself.â
just hearing the name makes you grimace, putting you off your tea. âand thereâs absolutely nothing he wants from me?â
ânothing was mentioned, no. he did, however, leave you a note.â
âwhat does it say?â
your lawyer raises his brow as he reads it, handing it to you instead of reading it out loud, which makes you give him a puzzled look before casting your eyes downwards to the piece of paper.
tomorrow, 4:30, my apartment. all you have to do is sign the papers. i look forward to the day youâll make me regret meeting you.
âthat asshole.â you mutter to yourself, not loud enough for your lawyer to hear it, but heâs certainly got an idea of how you feel about the whole situation.
âyou do, of course, always have the option to reject the inheritance, but i would highly recommend not to. frankly, in all of my years of experience in this field, iâve never felt a bigger need to encourage a client to take a deal.â
once youâve picked up the documents and skimmed over the words, you look back at him. âand if i did accept it, it wouldnât contain any possible implications for me in the long term?â
ânone. it is... fairly remarkable heâs willing to give you the full inheritance for nothing in return, even if he and his family are known for their wealth. but it wouldnât be a significant loss for him, considering the capital he already has to his name.â the man explains, not needing to spell it out for you.
you put down your cup. âknowing him, iâm not so sure he doesnât want anything. i suppose iâll have to talk to him about it myself, tomorrow.â
your lawyer highly encourages you to do so, leaving you to spend the rest of the day wondering what he could possibly want from you.
and so the following day, at 4:30 sharp, you step into his apartment â penthouse is the more fitting term. youâll admit, though, that heâs got style.
itâs dead silent in his place, save for the metronome in the background and the slow brew of his coffee machine. heâs wearing a white long-sleeved shirt with black trousers as he approaches you. âglad you could make it. coffee?â
âwhy are you willing to give me the inheritance?â you ask directly, not feeling up for the unnecessary chitchat. youâve always hated small talk. âif it was just a set-up, iâm leaving.â
he doesnât seem to be even the slightest bit surprised by your forwardness. âiâm willing to give it to you because a) i donât need it, and b) i donât want it. i think itâs ridiculous your dad set up his will like this.â
âwell, that makes two of us.â you fake a polite smile, clearly very sarcastically, putting your hand on your hip. âyou asked me to come sign the papers, but i have yet to see them.â
mingyu smiles a little at you. of course youâd skip straight to business â you never were a girl of many words. he walks over to a cupboard and takes a sealed folder with the documents out of a drawer, handing it to you.
when you attempt to take the folder from him, he swiftly retracts his hand like the asshole he is. âitâs not completely free, though.â
you pinch the bridge of your nose. âof course. i shouldâve known better than to believe you were willing to do something out of the kindness of your own heart.â
he just keeps going as if he didnât hear you, very much used to the little quips you throw at him by now. âdonât worry, i think you can manage this very small task for me.â
âjust tell me what you want alreadyââ
âmy familyâs hosting a gala next week, on friday. iâd like you to be my date.â
youâre baffled. this is what he wants in return for the inheritance worth millions of dollars? to have you on his arm for a single night?
oh, hell no. youâre not falling for it.
âwhy? you wanna publicly humiliate me or something?â you question, a deep frown settled in your forehead.
he huffs, annoyed that youâd think that low of him. âi know weâve always hated eachother, but, maybe, during a hard time⌠it would be nice to have one relaxed night. and yeah, i wouldnât mind doing that with a pretty girl to keep me company. what do you say? deal?â
not once in all the years youâve known him has he ever called you pretty.
âfine. but donât think about pulling any stunts.â
âwouldnât dare.â his smile sits somewhere beween teasing and serious when he finally hands you the papers.
you sit down and briefly scan the documents, not signing them right away to have them checked by your lawyer first. âif everything in this is according to the plan, youâll have them signed by tomorrow morning.â
âokay. see you friday.â he winks at you, escorting you to his front door, a subtle grin on his face that gives off the impression heâs planning something, and you can only imagine what it might be.
there is one good thing about having to spend time in his family home, though â and thatâs to search his rooms to find anything that might implicate him having something to do with your fatherâs murder.
since thereâs still a culprit to be named.
with your own agenda in mind, you walk out of his apartment, searching for the name of your stylist in your contacts.
youâre going to need a dress, after all.
iv. A PROPOSAL
with a stern look on your face, you look at the entrance of the gala from the tinted window of your car. itâs all bright lights and colorful decorations, candles, flowers â the kim family is well known for their luxurious and memorable parties. youâve attended plenty of them. while you and mingyu may not get along, his sister and mother are genuine sweethearts, some of the kindest and most welcoming people you know.
if only you could say the same for the asshole youâre about to spend the evening with.
after checking your makeup in the pocket-sized mirror for a final time, your driver opens your door so you can step out of the car, which leaves you on your own in front of the stairs.
mingyu originally mentioned he wanted to pick you up at your home like the gentleman he very much claims to be, but you very quickly shut the idea down and told him youâd just meet him at his familyâs mansion.
so here you are.
attending a gala only a month after your fatherâs funeral must seem like an⌠interesting choice, to say the least. the people you come across express their condolences and ask if youâre doing well â you wonder if the sentiment is real or not â and you tell them youâre here because it serves well as a distraction.
youâve become an excellent liar over the years.
as youâre standing at the top of the stairs, leaning on the railing, you observe the people on the dance floor below. those who arenât dancing are chattering, the noises of clinking glasses and laughter filling your ears.
most of the time, youâre able to somewhat enjoy this life. but the truth is that it can be as exhausting as it is glamorous.
but with your last living parent gone, you do feel a sense of freedom, even if it is lonely at times.
not like you didnât feel lonely when he was still alive.
you didnât love him or care for your father. you cared for the hope that someday he would change. that he would show you he did care for you, even a little bit.
but that day never came.
he was primarily an investor, so at least you havenât been burdened with having to take over a business or anything like it. having no siblings either, you feel like you should take this opportunity to start fresh; focus on building your own career and use your fatherâs money for things heâd never approve of.
suddenly, you spot your date in the midst of the crowd, breaking you out of your train of thoughts. his half-long hair looks pretty on him, you have to admit, the few strands in front of his face paired with the tailored, navy suit giving him the appearance of a model.
heâs currently talking to an older woman who clearly seems to adore him, the smile he puts up making her give him a gentle, loving squeeze on his upper arms. like always, no one is able to read the bitterness you feel as your face remains neutral.
growing up in your restricted social circle of the countryâs wealthiest families, your group of peers wasnât extremely big. you all went to the same primary school, same private high school. mingyu was always one of if not the most popular kid at school. an effortless ace at every fucking thing. everyone loved him, be it your peers or their parents.
you wouldnât say you werenât popular. quite the opposite, actually. your best friend was the queen bee of the school, as she was always striving to be the best in everything. top of the class, highest achievements, a true perfectionist at heart. bold, definitely a bit judgemental and classist too, but once sheâs your friend, sheâs the sweetest girl in the world. she did like to dabble in some drama with others if it came onto her path.
and you were the opposite. you preferred to steer clear of any drama, much preferring to watch it unfold from the sidelines â as you usually just didnât care enough to interfere with it â and you were never quite as talkative as your best friend.
the sentences leaving your mouth are always quick, direct, sharp and without stutter. youâre masterful at small talk, even though you hate it. you know how to play people like a fiddle. your father made you use your manipulation skills to good use rather frequently.
many consider you cold and calculated.
which is true, of course. but you still have a heart, even if it barely beats.
the outburst you gave mingyu after your fatherâs funeral mustâve come as a shock to him. no one has ever seen you in such a vulnerable and weak state, and out of all the people who couldâve seen it, it naturally had to be him â and that makes you uncomfortable.
once heâs finished his conversation, he looks in front of him, then up at the balcony â and he locks eyes with you.
you give him a look of acknowledgment, but thatâs it. he doesnât seem to mind, though, still shining as brightly as ever, making his way up the stairs as fast as he can. âiâm sorry i wasnât at the entrance to greet you, i didnât think youâd be here so soon.â
âitâs fine.â
he glances up and down, admiring the dress you chose. âyou look gorgeous.â
the deeply dark green dress with its boat neckline, long and fitted sleeves and intricate gold embroidery makes you look elegant. with the dress itself already being quite the statement piece, you chose to pair it with dainty earrings, your hair half-up and curled.
âthank you.â you donât bother saying anything about his appearance. he must be used to it at this point.
âcan i get you something to drink?â
you test the waters by throwing in a joke. âwhat, planning on poisoning me?â
his eyes flicker for a moment, stricken by something you canât quite place, which makes you blink at him. his flirtatious and charming self returns within a mere second, and he proceeds to snicker at your joke. âi could, but whereâd be the fun in that?â
rolling your eyes at him, you take his arm once heâs offered it, keeping in mind youâre doing this for the inheritance.
the time goes by quicker than expected. he introduces you to some of the people heâs close with, tells you stories youâve never heard before, even asks you about yours.
a few of his friends come by as well, surprised to see you by mingyuâs side. most people your age here know that you and him have never quite gotten along, to put it lightly.
when they subtly ask about it, mingyu tells them he insisted you came to distract yourself from the death of your father, and that you could probably use a party.
it raises more question marks as to what his motive is for asking you to be here tonight. what is he gaining from this? he hasnât humiliated you yet. if anything, heâs only spoken of you highly, save for the little snark he keeps between the two of you.
itâs strange. really strange.
after a while, once all the guests have been drinking a bit, you decide to set your own plan in motion. this might be your only chance to snoop around here, as you doubt youâll find yourself in here again anytime soon.
youâre literally invited in his home â youâd be a fool not to check his room.
unfortunately, just as you try to disappear from the crowd, mingyu extends his hand to you. âdance with me?â
just as youâre about to refuse him, you remember that this is the one night you have to be nice to him, all so he can give you the inheritance that was meant to be yours in the first place.
with a small sigh, you slide your hand in his, at which he grins triumphantly.
before you know it, youâre in the middle of the room together, and he has his one hand on your lower back, the other hand intertwined with yours. heâs smooth with his moves, you have to admit.
the question has already left your mouth when you process it. âwhy am i here? iâm sure thereâs a reason i needed to be your date tonight.â
mingyu cocks his head at you. âi think youâve had to endure a lot the past couple weeks. the incident, the interrogations, the press, the shit with the inheritance â iâm impressed you havenât lost your mind yet.â
âhow do you know i havenât?â you ask, and he twirls you around, his hands feeling like theyâre burning on your skin. âwasnât my breakdown after the funeral enough to prove you otherwise?â
âwell, looking back, i shouldâve probably left you alone in that moment. but i did think about what you said, and you can correct me if iâm wrong, but i feel like your father and our ties to him were what made us hate eachother so much. now that heâs gone, maybe we can⌠i donât know. tolerate one another.â
you make sure to hide your confusion from him. does he really not see it? sure, the main reason youâve always despised mingyu was because of his relationship with your father, but you werenât exactly best friends before that either.
even putting it like that would still make it the understatement of the year.
if he actually pictures the two of you becoming friends, though, heâs lost it.
unsure of what to tell him, you give him a shitty excuse to escape the conversation. âiâm just gonna use the ladiesâ room, if you donât mind.â you let mingyu know, and he nods at you in acknowledgement, caught off guard by you leaving so suddenly.
so you walk off, the voices of the people and the music in the hall fading into the background as you trail off.
now that youâre alone, you can finally go check his room.
itâs harder to navigate the mansion than you thought. hallways that all look similar, god knows how many rooms â you hope you wonât get lost here.
one of your best friends is good friends with mingyuâs sister, and so she knows the place like the back of her hand. when you asked her for the layout of the place, she did think it strange, but you told her she had nothing to worry about.
mingyuâs bedroom and study are supposedly on the third floor of the east wing, and the party takes place in the west wing.
so thatâs just fucking great.
your best friend did warn you that he most often keeps his doors locked whenever visitors are present, so to ensure you could get in, you snatched the key from his pocket when he was dancing with you earlier.
it almost makes you chuckle when you think about how easy it was.
when youâve finally arrived at what seems to be the door to mingyuâs room, you double-check the environment around you to see whether anyoneâs following you, and when it appears to be safe, you shove the key into the lock, twisting it.
you exhale when realizing itâs the right key.
entering the room, you quickly shut it behind you, taking in the sight.
itâs raining outside, which you take notice of through the large windows. several paintings adorn the walls â you didnât know he was a lover of art â as well as some photos of him with his family.
the room is surprisingly tidy, his clothes all neatly folded on the wooden planks in his closet and the drawers underneath. the few books he has sitting on top of the cupboard are gathering dust â you suppose he doesnât like to read all that much.
of course he doesnât.
his king-sized bed seems soft and comfortable, and the room smells of the cologne and perfume he always wears.
you blink a few times, realizing youâre dwelling too much on details that are not a priority right now.
which is enough to snap you awake, a rush of adrenaline moving through your veins as you look for anything interesting. files, documents, notebooks â anything.
you find his agenda in a drawer of his desk. with slightly trembling fingers, you move the pages back to the date of your fatherâs death, as well as the days before that.
as youâre caught up with doing so, you momentarily forget the first rule of breaking into a forbidden space: never turn your back to a door when you should be watching it.
âyou know, iâm starting to think you agreeing to be my date came with ulterior motives on your side.â you suddenly hear mingyuâs voice behind you, at which you turn around, looking a bit too guilty for comfort.
your voice almost gets caught up in your throat, but you keep your composure. âif it makes you feel any better, i didnât plan this.â
âitâs alright.â he responds, closing the door behind him smoothly, as if he doesnât want you to see it. âyou still think i had something to do with your fatherâs death, donât you?â
âiâm not sure. i donât see why you would, now that youâve given me the inheritance. what other motive could you have?â
all mingyu does is clench his jaw at the rhetorical question. then he snaps out of it, his eyes trailing to the desk youâre currently leaning on. he takes a few steps closer to you, and you raise a brow, waiting in anticipation what heâll do.
his face is suddenly very close to yours, and youâre almost convinced heâs leaning in to touch you when he reaches for the drawer behind you instead. âwell, as a matter of fact, i did have something to show you.â
that surprises you.
âyour father always carried a little red notebook with him. itâs the only part of the inheritance i didnât give you, solely because i wanted to show you myself. thereâs a few strange scribblings in it, with locations and numbers, and look at thisââ he opens it up in front of you, pointing at the paper with his index finger, âapparently he felt like he was being followed just days before he died. maybe the police is right and he did get murdered.â
âyeah, i already figured he probably pissed off the wrong guy.â when he looks at you hopefully, you shrug. âwhat?â
âwe should check it out, right? find out who killed him.â
you immediately shake your head at his suggestion. âno.â
mingyuâs whole body language changes, genuine confusion overtaking his features. âwhat do you mean, no?â
âhe was caught up in all kinds of shit, things i never wanted to be a part of. thatâs no different now that heâs six feet under.â
âare you not the slightest bit curious who killed him?â
âfrankly, no, iâm not. iâd say whoever is guilty did me a favor.â
despite your valid point, he persists. âokay, then how about this â what if this person would come after you for whatever reason? donât you want to know who youâre dealing with?â
you narrow your eyes at him. âwhy do you care so much, mingyu? iâm sure this is something you could manage on your own.â
the sudden question surprises him, so he shrugs. âmaybe iâm not sure why. but i do. and you know i did care for him.â
âwhy donât you just let the police handle it?â
âbecause they donât know this world â and we have access to places, people they wouldnât even know where to find or how to deal with. have you talked to the detectives? theyâre amateurs.â he answers, pausing before taking a step closer to you. âheâs dead either way, doing a small bit of research might be interesting. who knows what you might find.â
âand you wanna do this with me of all people because...?â
he rolls his eyes at the question. âyou were the only other person directly affected by it. câmon, am i really so bad that you canât even deal with me for a little while?â
the fact that you just give him a deadpan stare tells him all he needs to know.
it makes you bite your lip. you donât feel like doing this at all, certainly not with mingyu of all people, but he appears to be ready to do this with or without you.
besides, you do feel up for a little adventure.
âfine, iâll bite. hypothetically, what if i were interested in finding out who killed him?â
the young man in front of you tilts his head. âthen iâd suggest we work together and do some digging.â
pursing your lips, you watch his pleased expression when he notices youâre actually considering it. âwhy do i feel like iâm gonna regret this?â
âmaybe you will. maybe you wonât. we can go right back to hating eachother after this, but for now, weâll be partners. deal?â
your eyes linger on the hand heâs stretched out to you, and even as youâre hesitant to take it, he doesnât take his eyes off you.
with a sigh, you shake his hand. âokay. deal.â
v. PARTNERS IN CRIME
âfor someone so organized, he sure as hell has a lot of unnecessary shit lying around here.â mingyu mutters, searching through the drawers of the cupboard.
you scoff in agreement. âtell me about it.â
the two of you are rummaging through your fatherâs study in your home in an attempt to find anything interesting as to what he mightâve been up to the past few years.
so far, youâve had zero luck with it.
you already figured thereâd probably be nothing of interest here, but mingyu insisted, said it would be stupid not to. so here you are.
âyou know, iâm pretty sure my dad wouldnât be as stupid as to just leave traces of his criminal affiliations lying around in his study.â
mingyu shrugs while simultaneously looking into a drawer. âyou never know.â
âhe was an asshole, but he was a smart one.â you mumble to yourself as you go through the little notebook mingyu just handed you a few minutes ago.
he watches you with curiosity. âcan i ask you something?â
without looking up at him, you give him a rather direct response. âiâm sure youâll ask me regardless of my answer to that question.â
ever so indifferent, he thinks. if anything, one thing about you he is actually fond of is your unfiltered attitude. more people should be like that. âyou said youâd never forgive me for what i did to you."
hearing those words makes you look up at him. youâre surprised heâs taking an approach this straightforward with you. âi know what i said.â
âis there nothing i can do to at least make things more civil between us?â
god, youâre sick of him already.
instead of outright telling him you hate him more than anyone else you know, you cross your arms over your chest and fire a question right back at him. âwhy do you want things to be different between us? donât tell me youâre losing sleep over it, now.â
mingyu pauses a moment before he answers you. âi thought about the things you said, when you were upset with me, and i realized iâve made your life harder without having intended to do so. and yeah, i am losing sleep over it.â
while he does appear earnest, you donât exactly trust him, so all you do is shrug your shoulders.
he wants to say something right when his phone rings. once he picks up, you figure it must be something business-related, judging by the tone of his voice and formal language.
an apology directed at you leaves his mouth as soon as heâs hit the red button on his screen. âiâm sorry. an important business meeting was moved and i promised my mom iâd be there.â
youâve met mingyuâs mother a few times, at events. sheâs the ceo of a very prominent hotel business. many of the highest ranked hotels around the world are under her care, and she clearly knows what sheâs doing, since her business has been thriving for many years at this point. you remember it was her who took over as ceo after mingyuâs father passed in a car accident when he was younger.
âthen you better get going.â you tell him, your face not pulling a single muscle. you hope he didnât think you were going to ask him to stay.
he nods at your words, taking the jacket with his initials embroidered in the tag and slinging it over his arm. âyeah. iâll call you.â he says, going out the doorway, yet your voice makes him halt in his tracks.
âmingyu.â you say his name to him, an unfamiliar feeling on your tongue, and he turns to look back at you.
he awaits your words, catching the subtle warning in your eyes as you refer back to the question of his you had yet to answer.
âwe may be working together now â call us associates, or even partners in crime â but once this is over, weâll go right back to strangers. letâs just keep this⌠somewhat professional.â
you find he can be surprisingly hard to read from time to time, for a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. after blankly staring at you for a few seconds, processing the words, he just offers you a little smile and a gentle response. âokay.â
and he walks off, only leaving you more intrigued than before.
for two days, itâs complete radio silence from mingyu. all he asked you over text was if youâd been able to find anything in the study, to which you replied with a simple no. he didnât say anything else.
you sincerely thought this whole investigation of yours wasnât actually gonna lead to anything, that it was useless â until now.
itâs eleven oâclock, dark outside, the metronome ticking in the background of your living room as your eyes are glued to the screen of your laptop.
you just got a notification from the bank that someone made a significant withdrawal from one of your fatherâs bank accounts, one that still needs to be signed over to your name.
question is, who the fuck has access to your fatherâs bank account besides you?
no one. supposedly.
staring at mingyuâs contact in your phone, you twist your lips, unsure of whether to call him about this or not.
going against your gut, you press on his phone number and wait for him to answer the call.
nothing.
for good measure, you call him a second time. same result.
then it hits you. you spoke to wonwoo last night â he mentioned something about him and mingyu going out together this evening.
wonwoo, thankfully, does pick up his phone. âhey. whatâs up?â
âhey. are you with mingyu right now?â
âyeah, why?â
âwhere are you?â
âuhââ he stutters out an address in the middle of the city, clearly confused by the urgency in your voice. âwhatâs going on? what do you need mingyu for?â
âwell, itâs hard to explain. anyway, iâm coming over.â
âheâs kind ofââ
you quickly interrupt him by hanging up. taking your wallet and car keys, you head out. the address wonwooâs given you is located in the club scene downtown, and you make it there in no-time with the navigation on your phone.
parking your car across the block, you get out and check your phone, heading to wherever wonwoo and mingyu currently are. you usually tend to go for the clubs at the other side of the city, as the vibe feels a little different here, but youâve been around the neighborhood a couple times, so itâs not entirely unfamiliar to you.
when you arrive at the club, you catch the sight of your friend leaning against the stone wall outside.
jeon wonwoo, all handsome in his expensive jacket and sleek shoes, looks surprised when he notices you of all people coming up to him, even though you told him you were coming. his voice is soft when he greets you. âhey. you gonna tell me what exactly youâre doing here?â
shrugging your shoulders, you put your hands in the pockets of your black coat. âyou said you were here with mingyu. i gotta talk to him.â
âright now?â
taking note of his baffled reaction, you tilt your head to the side. âyes, right now. i donât care if heâs occupied.â
wonwoo brings a cigarette to his lips, pushing the pair of dark-rimmed glasses higher up his nose. âwhatâs going on with you and him, anyway? i thought you hated each other.â
âwe still do.â
âwell, somethingâs changed.â
âbelieve me, wonwoo, i donât like him any more than he likes me.â
all he does is narrow his dark eyes at you.
just when you want to open the backdoor to the club, wonwoo stops you. âyou do know what kind of establishment this place is, right?â
frowning at him, you open the door just the slightest bit to check whatever heâs getting at, and once you catch sight of the pink and red lights, sensual music and metal poles attached to the ceiling, you momentarily close the door again.
right. this must be one of those clubs that are hidden from the prying eyes of non-customers, to give the illusion thereâs nothing going on behind these walls, giving the rich clients some privacy in their activities.
you roll your eyes. âwhen you said you were going to the club, i didnât think you meant a strip club.â
âi was about to tell you when you hung up on me.â
âso why are you out here and not in there with him?â
âbecause i wanted to smoke and he felt like heading into a more secluded space. with company, no doubt.â
oh, this is gonna be fun. since kim mingyu pretty much ruined your life, the very least you can do in return is ruin his night. you briefly chuckle to yourself. âalright. well, have fun smoking.â
âyouâre still going in?â he calls after you, and all you can do is scoff.
âyou think i care whether kim mingyuâs gonna have a good time or not?â
âforget i asked.â he responds, the hint of a smile tugging at his facial features. âiâll wait here âtil you get back.â
you shoot him a knowing smirk before stepping into the club. remaining in the background, you scan the area to see if thereâs a glimpse of him somewhere.
at the other side of the bar, a man seems to be on watch in front of a separate hallway, so you figure thatâs where the jackpot is.
not bothering to look back at the bartender, whose gaze trails after you, you head over to where you need to be, which is where youâre stopped in your path, as expected.
âthese are occupied private rooms, maâam.â a bouncer tells you.
âlook, sir, iâŚâ you begin, coming up with some bullshit excuse to get past him, âiâm pretty sure i saw my boyfriend just go in here with a dancer. all i want is a confirmation, iâm not looking to start drama.â
before the man can respond, you wordlessly hold up a small stack of hundred dollar bills between your index and middle finger, waiting for him to take the bribe.
works like a charm wherever you go.
his demeanor changes once he sees the money. âwhatâs he look like?â
âtall, dark medium-long hair, brown eyes, pretty handsome â though thatâs probably subjective.â you shrug, adding a little fake smile to it. you can get far in life with a little charm and money.
the few generic features seem to be enough for the bouncer to know who youâre talking about. he takes the money from your hand, pointing his finger at one of the more secluded rooms in the back.
âgo for room number six.â he says, stepping to the side so you can pass him.
thanking him, you head into the back, the heels of your ankle boots clicking against the floor.
the rooms have their matching numbers on neon signs above them. your eyes curiously take in everything they see, but all rooms grant the people in them privacy with the use of frosted glass.
once youâve made it to the room with the number six on the sign, you take a breath while your hand rests on the handle.
you enter the room soundlessly. the broad space is dimly lit with its soft lights, a mixture of yellow, pink and red almost convincing you that this place is a mere fever dream.
mingyu is seated on the velvet red couch, his legs spread with a girl in skimpy lingerie dancing between them.
yet his eyes are on you.
with his head tilted down, he looks up at you from beneath his lowered brows, peering right past the bare hips of the girl as if sheâs not dancing in front of him at all.
you catch a hint of intrigue in his features. he reaches inside his pocket to hand a small stack of money to the dancer in the exact same way you did with the bouncer only a minute before, and the girl leaves you to your privacy.
âhello to you, too.â he says, not bothering to move a single muscle as he remains on the soft couch.
ânext time, answer your damn phone.â you scold him, staring him down with the coldest glare you can muster, and mingyuâs not sure why, but he relishes in it. it doesnât happen often that someone treats him like this.
âi was occupied.â he casually answers, his hand running through his dark locks.
âwell, not anymore.â you grin, handing him your phone to show the photo of the bank transcripts. âapparently, my dead father just took fifty grand out of his account.â
mingyu furrows his brows at the screen. âwhere?â
âall the way at the other side of the city. question is, who else has access to his account, aside from me?â
âwe should go and check the footage.â he says, shrugging his shoulders, and he finally gets up, towering over you again. âi know someone whoâs with the municipal authorities, iâll make the call.â
âright now?â you ask, referring to how deep into the night it is, at which he raises his brow.
âyes, right now. this is the best clue weâve come across so far. donât you agree?â
âi do. i just thought you cared more about, yâknow, being occupied.â you emphasise the last words with a waving hand, gesturing to the girl that was previously dancing on him, and his flirtatious nature comes right back to him as if it never left.
âwhy? wanna give me a show before we leave?â he smirks, getting closer, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of you, to see whatâs lurking underneath your closed-off persona.
fine. both of you can play this game, you think to yourself. âwhat, are the girls here not enough to get you off?â
âis that a yes?â
âwhy would you want a lap dance from a girl you canât stand? i may not like you, mingyu, but i didnât think youâd stoop so low to go after any woman with a pulse.â
âi feel flattered,â he smiles, eyes trailing down to your exposed collarbones, finding it ridiculously hot in here, âand i donât particularly like you, either, but we both know youâre gorgeous. besides, iâve seen you dance at chanâs club. you looked good.â
his honesty almost stuns you in your place. you didnât think he held that kind of physical attraction towards you, yet it makes you feel good â because you think heâs fucking hot, too.
such a shame that heâs an asshole.
but still, thereâs no time to dwell on his words. you have a reputation to uphold and a murder to solve, after all.
so you lean in, whispering your decision. âin your dreams.â
jesus, mingyu thinks, do you even remotely know how much sex appeal you have? it makes him beyond impulsive. âdid you know studies have shown that sleeping with someone you canât stand is arguably the best thing ever?â
you sarcastically reply to him with the exact same tone. âdid you know youâd be so much more bearable if you just kept your mouth shut?â
âwhat? itâs part of my charm.â is all he says in return, snickering a little over your response, and you merely roll your eyes.
âweâve got a different idea of charm, then.â
âokay, fair enough.â he shrugs, still maintaining the minimal distance between your bodies. âso what do you find charming? iâm dying to know, really.â
âi like men who donât feel the need to pay for a womanâs touch.â the reply comes fast and sharp as a blade. âi hope you pay them generously, since they have to put up with you out of all people.â
âshe didnât touch me, though. itâs a strip club, not a brothel.â
âhow noble of you.â you humorlessly chuckle at him, attitude turning more playful.
âmhm.â mingyu nods his head, the rest of his words sounding lower and suave. âtell me more. câmon, iâm curious. i gotta know my partnerâs preferences, right?â
the look you give your current partner is something. you decide to indulge him this once, face inching closer to his, just to keep things interesting. âi want someone who wonât hold me back. someone who will accept me for who i am â uninhibited.â
thereâs something you canât quite place flashing behind his eyes. itâs close to intrigue, but more intense, and you donât think youâve ever seen it in anyone elseâs eyes before.
âgood to know.â he breathes out, as if your words stole his breath, and you come to the realization that maybe, thereâs more to kim mingyu than you thought.
now that he seems to be pretty much speechless, you raise your shoulders. âso, are we heading out or should i tell the dancer to come back in?â
he stutters out a reply, and you find it funny how his attitude is constantly going back and forth between a flustered mess and the most confident guy in the room.
once youâve returned to the backdoor where you got in, you see wonwoo is still outside, his cigarette put out on the ashtray beside him.
âyou leaving?â wonwoo asks, waiting for either of you to answer.
âyeah. duty calls.â mingyu replies while putting his jacket on.
for what itâs worth, wonwoo is actually a dear friend of yours, and one of the few people you show physical affection to, so you give him a kiss on the cheek before walking off. âcatch you later, okay?â
he nods, catching mingyu curiously watching the exchange, and when you walk off with him, wonwoo notices him put his hand on your lower back, which you proceed to swat away.
a mere twenty minutes later, you and mingyu are seated in your car in an empty parking lot, looking at a screen displaying street security footage of the bank where the withdrawal was made earlier tonight.
mingyuâs friend seungkwan, who works for the authorities, sent you the footage, and as youâre looking it over, heâs on the phone explaining his observations. âhe was wearing a mask and a cap, so we couldnât recognize him. the car he drove has a license plate that doesnât match, so likely stolen. he drove from a nearby parking garage to the bank, withdrew the cash, got back in the car and then parked it right here, about six blocks further, in the business district.â
the building the car is parked across is one youâd recognize any time of day. itâs where your fatherâs main office is â or was â one of the places he never allowed you to get into, or anyone for that matter. it was the only place where he got the peace and quiet he wanted.
you turn your head to glance at mingyu, giving him a knowing look. âthatâs where my fatherâs main office is.â
âyou think the guyâs gonna try to break in?â
âif he got his hands on the passcodes and proceeds to wait before the building he always worked in, then yeah, i do.â
you nod in agreement, because he makes a fair point. mingyu looks at the worried expression on your face and decides youâve gathered enough information now.
he thanks seungkwan and tells him bye before hanging up, then turning his focus to you. âwhoever that guy is, if heâs planning on breaking in, we gotta beat him to it.â
âyou wanna break into an office on the seventh floor located in a building that neither of us are allowed into? they wonât even let us pass the front desk. i know because iâve tried.â
he shakes his head. âtrust me â weâll find a way in. iâve got an idea, but itâs not gonna be easy.â
vi. WEâRE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I
the following days are spent analyzing and memorizing blueprints, tracking the people entering and exiting the building and checking security in the hope of finding some kind of loophole in the system.
trying to get in through the front door is too risky, so youâve opted for the roof instead, because thereâs several buildings so closeby that you can get into either of the buildings next to it and reach it from there. youâll get in with a classic heist movie tactic you pray works in real life as well.
ventilation shafts.
so now, youâre both in dark and practical clothing to attempt breaking in. because your plan is mediocre at best.
as you watch from the rooftop of a currently unoccupied office building nearby with a binocular, you face-palm yourself the moment you notice the security set-up is different than anticipated with the blueprints, meaning the ventilation shafts are most likely not accessible. âwell, fuck.â
âwhatâs wrong?â
you hand the binocular to mingyu, and he mimics your previous actions, huffing in annoyance when he sees it too. âshit. what do we do now?â
ânothing.â
âwhat?â
âour plan was already risky enough, but now that we pretty much donât even have a way in, weâd be stupid to try. we only have a fifteen-minute window before a security guard comes up the roof again.â
âthatâs plenty.â
âit would be, for like â a swat team. weâre amateurs. at this, anyway.â
âspeak for yourself.â
âoh, iâm sorry, have you done anything remotely on this scale before?â
âwell⌠no.â
pinching the bridge of your nose, you roll your eyes to yourself. âwe shouldâve brought wonwoo.â
mingyu is quick to respond with a sarcastic comment. âand tell him what, exactly? âhey, we need your help breaking into one of the best-guarded buildings in the city so we can snoop around and try to find a clue leading to a killerâ?â
âwell, i donât know if youâve noticed, gyu, but we quite literally have no other options.â
âwe could always try the front door. youâre still his daughter, they might let you in.â
âi really hope that wasnât an actual suggestion, because if it was, it would highly diminish the idea i have of your intelligence.â
âis this your way of telling me you think iâm smart?â
âwell, currently, i think youâre being an idiot, so no.â you retort, stealing the binocular out of his hand again. âgod, iâm starting to respect criminals. this shit is difficult to navigate around.â
mingyu chuckles as he adjusts the black baseball cap on his head. âthere has to be another way. maybe we couldââ
ââget in through an open window.â you interrupt, handing the device over to him. âyou see the glass window in the roof of his office? it looks like itâs ajar.â
once he sees it too, he tilts his head. âitâs almost too easy. itâd have to open manually, otherwise weâre screwed.â
you can only shrug. âitâs only a modern interior on the inside, the building itself is older, so the odds might be on our side. besides, itâs worth a shot, right?â
âcanât argue with that.â he agrees, checking the other buildings around to figure out the best approach.
you watch him as heâs distracted. heâs fully going for the whole partners-in-crime thing youâve got going on with him, yet a part of you is still unsure what his motives might be.
but for now, youâll just focus on the task at hand.
every fifteen minutes, a security guard comes up to the roof, checks everything, stays for a minute or two and leaves again. youâve been keeping track of it. as soon as the one currently on duty closes the door to the staircase behind him, heading back down, you both start a silent timer on your watches, getting to work.
one thing you discover doing said task is that jumping from roof to roof is really not as easy as they make it seem in the movies. if anything, itâs pretty scary, even if they are relatively close to eachother.
the jump from the last building to the one you need to be on top of has the biggest gap, and mingyu takes a solid leap, landing ever so gracefully.
you shuffle your feet for a moment, making the mistake of looking down. mingyu notices your hesitation and tries to encourage you the best he can. âit looks scary, but itâs a relatively easy jump. i swear. thatâs gotta mean something coming from a person with a fear of heights.â
clenching your fists, you try to steady your breathing. âdonât you lie to me, kim.â
thereâs something strangely charming about you using his last name whenever youâre scolding him. âcâmon. iâve always thought you were fearless. youâre not gonna diminish the idea i have of you, right?â
curse him for using your words against you like that.
clenching your fists, you bite your lip, the worst case scenario going through your head over and over.
âjust go back a couple steps. steady your breathing, and then you run. okay?â
you donât respond to his words but do as he says anyways. the jump isnât even that far, youâre just afraid of tripping.
but you wonât go out embarrassing yourself in front of kim mingyu. your pride is too strong for that.
so you take a deep breath and make a run for it, jumping over the gap and landing on top of the other roof, far away from the edge. mingyu laughs triumphantly. âgood job.â
âthanks.â you smile as he helps you up to your feet, and you dust off your jacket, proud of yourself for going through with it.
the two of you walk over to the glass window, and you kneel down, inspecting the lock. thank fuck â itâs so simple that all you have to do is click it open. youâre guessing they probably thought the security walking around was enough.
with your hands covered in gloves, you wiggle them through the gap and crack it open, after which mingyu takes the lead. he lets himself drop into the office silently, looking up at you as a gesture for you to follow him.
you attempt to do the same as him, but you figure he must have strong arm muscles, because youâre barely able to hold yourself up the way he can. he notices your struggle and moves to stand underneath you.
âjust let go. iâll catch you.â
âare you sure?â
he nods, his arms up as if heâs waiting for you to jump right into them. âyeah, yeah. i got you.â
not entirely convinced, you try to drop onto the floor in a way you can still hold yourself up, but mingyu proves himself true to his word when he catches you as easily as drawing his next breath. he looks you in the eye while he has you in his arms, his senses feeling heightened as your clothed skin touches with his.
then you tap on his shoulder, and he lets go of you.
the office is bigger than anticipated. the moonlight from outside is bright enough for you to not need a flashlight, so thatâs beneficial.
mingyu is awfully quick on his feet for someone as tall and bulky as him. heâs quiet in every step he takes, which is useful in a situation like this.
while he begins to look through a bunch of drawers, you open cabinet after cabinet, going through some documents that donât really contain anything interesting.
you turn to look at the desk and the painting on the wall behind it. itâs nothing spectacular â your father never had much of an appreciation for art, so you find it strange heâd even have it up here.
out of sheer curiosity, you try to check if thereâs a secret stash behind the painting like in those crime movies.
you have to refrain from laughing when your eyes fall onto the safe in the wall. âhey. gyu.â
he turns around, his entire demeanor changing when he sees what youâve found. âyouâre kidding.â
the safe has a surprisingly easy system. it has four dials, so you need a code with four numbers to get access to whateverâs inside. you change the dials to your birth year for fun, but naturally, it doesnât work. hell, mingyuâs birth year might have a better shot.
while you try out every combination you can think of, mingyu gets the little notebook out of his pocket â the one that was part of your fatherâs inheritance. he flips to one of the last pages. âtry 9-3-6-8.â
going with his suggestion, you rotate the dials until they have the right numbers, and you hear a click. blinking a few times, you turn the small crank wheel beside the dials and open the safe.
thereâs not much inside in terms of quantity, but the things that are in there are no joke.
two gold ingots, a stack of files and a loaded handgun with a silencer attached to it.
âwhat the fuck was he up to?â mingyu asks rhetorically, inspecting the pistol with care, and you shrug, grabbing the files to put them into the bag you took with you.
âi donât know, but we should hurry up. we can look at whatever all this is later. clockâs ticking.â
he figures you make a good point, so you hold out your bag, and he puts all of the safeâs contents into it.
youâre both scared to death when you suddenly hear voices coming from the other side of the door. you immediately zip up your bag and close the safe back up, putting the painting right back in front of it.
footsteps come approaching your direction, and you realize you donât have enough time to get back out of the office without being caught red-handed, so youâll have to find a place to hide.
just as youâre about to go sit underneath the desk, mingyu doesnât hesitate to grab you by your hand and pull you against his body, both of you hiding in the small gap between the bookcase and the wall, which is right next to the door.
you almost jump in your place when the door is opened by a security guard, and mingyu puts his hand over your mouth to make sure the guard doesnât hear you.
thankfully, youâre hidden right behind the door now that itâs opened, but your heart is fucking pounding as your chest is pressed against mingyuâs, and all you can focus on is him.
heâs suffocatingly close to you.
the situation forces you to look at him so closely â like never before. your attention trails down from his dark eyes to the litte mole on the bottom of his nose, the shape of his lips, and the glimpse you catch of the silver chain adorning his collarbones.
itâs the first time you see how big of a man he is. heâs been working out a lot in the past few years, with considerable results â standing this close to him highlights the contrast between his frame and yours.
the footsteps leave the office not long after, and the door closes. youâre finally able to breathe properly when he releases his palm from your mouth, and you inhale and exhale deeply.
âyou alright?â
âyeah. that was just â scary.â you respond, cracking a little smile.
he nods, neither of you really moving in your places yet. âyou can let go of me, yâknow.â mingyu whispers, sounding entirely unconvincing, and you frown before looking to your hand thatâs apparently been clutching his jacket this whole time.
âoh, yeah. sorry.â
âitâs okay.â he assures you, pointing to the ceiling. âwe should probably head back.â
you agree and sling the bag over your shoulders, on your back. he gets onto the desk first so he can climb out the same window you used to get in, and once heâs gotten up the roof again, he extends his hand to you so he can pull you up.
it doesnât go smoothly. heâs a little clumsy, but he manages, so you take a breather once youâve made it out of the office with him. you close the window in the exact position it was before you opened it, and you make it to the safety of the rooftop where you started just twenty minutes ago.
as you quickly go down the stairs of the abandoned building to reach the ground floor, he laughs triumphantly. âholy fucking shit. i canât believe we actually pulled that off.â
you smile at him with adrenaline still rushing through you, heart still pounding in your chest when you realize what you just did.
and honestly, you donât think youâve ever felt that⌠alive.
a mere fifteen minutes later, youâre seated in a half-empty diner with him. heâs across from you in the booth, elbows on the table as he fiddles with his fingers.
while he looks around the place, you take the files you found in the safe out of your bag so you can look them over.
as your eyes fall onto the first page, you frown.
mingyu notices your gaze. âwhatâs wrong?â
you switch to the other file folders before scoffing to yourself, realization hitting you. âyou gotta be fucking kidding me. theyâre tabs he kept on the people around him. the staff at home, his driver... even me. and you. well, looks like he didnât trust you completely.â
before he can even reply to the subtle dig, you slide the folder with his name on it across the table, and he opens it up, noticing a huge chunk of information on him neatly stashed away in separate documents. thereâs even candids there that mustâve been made by a private investigator.
âi knew he was paranoid, but this takes the cake.â you mutter, and you throw the folders back into your bag, and mingyu hands you his so you can take it as well.
âwell, this sucks.â he sighs. âthose files arenât of much use, so now weâre back to square one.â
you tilt your head. âthatâs not entirely true. we might be able to check where the gun came from, or whose name itâs registered under.â
mingyu hums, lifting the cup to his mouth, whispering a compliment, not really expecting for you to hear it. âsmart girl.â
with your bag zipped up and everything off the table again, itâs quiet between you and mingyu for a moment.
âgod, iâm starving.â he says as you wait for your food to arrive, and where heâs slightly fidgeting in his place, you sit completely still, looking at him with a frown. once he catches your gaze, he raises a brow at you. âwhat?â
âdo you do this often?â
âeating in a cheap diner?â
âtrespassing. breaking in. illegal activities. whatever you wanna call it.â
he shrugs. âoccasionally. keeps life interesting, yâknow?â
the casualness in his attitude makes you scoff. âsure.â
âyou donât agree?â
âi didnât say that.â
âno, but then again, you donât really say much at all.â he says bluntly. he doesnât mean it as an offensive statement in the slightest, but it wouldâve probably sounded better if worded differently.
for a moment, he thinks his impulsivity mustâve upset you, seeing as you remain silent for a moment.
then you laugh at him. the sound is completely new to him, yet strangely soothing to his ears.
âyouâre bold, iâll give you that.â you snicker before taking a sip of your coke. âbut i assume you donât have an issue with people who are on the quieter side, since youâre besties with wonwoo and all.â
mingyu mimics your facial expressions. âyeah, i prefer being around quieter people more. but i didnâtâit came out wrong. i meant, you donât really, like... show who you are. if that makes sense. even back when we were in high school, you were like a mystery. you still are, to me.â
âis this what this whole partnering-up thing is about? you wanting to unravel the mystery about me? because if it is, iâll give you credit for the creativity.â
mingyu tilts his head. âwell, itâs a little more nuanced than that.â
âif you wanted to get to know me, why didnât you try years ago?â
âhave you met you?â
you roll your eyes. he smirks at you, enjoying your company quite a lot, anticipating whatever it is youâll say in response.
âyou wanna know something, mingyu?â
âyeah.â
âyouâre telling me iâm the mysterious one, but iâd say thatâs you.â
his playfulness falters a bit, and he shows his confusion instead. âme?â
âmhm. youâre popular, good-looking, charming, all of that â and i think youâve got layers to yourself that no one even knows about. characteristics no one would ever dare imagine when they think of you.â
his breath hitches in his throat. âwhy do you think that?â
twisting your lips into a pout, you put your drink back down on the table. âwouldnât be any fun if i outright told you, would it?â
mingyu narrows his eyes at you. you just shrug, as if to tell him heâll figure it out, if heâs smart enough.
and he welcomes the challenge.
âokay.â he smiles, biting his lip when he leans back in his seat. âbut, hypothetically â what if youâre wrong about me? what if i donât have those layers youâre talking about?â
you eye him up and down, remaining quiet with your arms crossed over your chest. youâve always had that attitude. like you know more than everyone else, as if youâre the smartest person in the room. usually, you are. and yet youâre never smug about it, unless someone challenges you to be â youâre always calm, cool, collected. stoic. the fact that wonwoo of all people called you an ice princess years ago says enough.
âiâd be sorely disappointed.â
âso you have high expectations of me?â
âin a way, perhaps. though youâll have to work a little harder to impress me.â
âtonight wasnât enough?â
âit was a start. we still loathe eachother, remember?â
âright. iâll keep that in mind for next time.â
sure, you and kim mingyu hate one another, but he still makes you smile the most anyone has in ages, and you make him feel more alive than anyone else has.
vii. FRIENDS CLOSE, ENEMIES CLOSER
âiâve got bad news.â you say, tapping your nails on the coffee table in your living room as you have mingyu on speaker.
âokay. do tell.â
âthe gun isnât registered, so we pretty much only have the files as evidence.â
âyeah. i doubt your father put those files together himself, since they seem like the work of a professional. we might be smart to seek out the private investigator who gave him the intel.â
you know he hears you sigh at the other end of the line, and your response hardly sound convincing. âyeah, i guess.â
âwhatâs wrong?â
itâs quiet for a moment. you speak up with a tension rumbling in your chest. âmaybe we should just quit, gyu. i donât feel like what weâre doing is actually going anywhere. we still donât have a proper lead.â
then itâs his turn to remain silent, and you swear you can hear his breath shudder. âweâll get there. it just... takes some time.â
âyou sound a little too sure of that.â
âi just think itâd be a waste to not continue after the stunt we pulled last week.â
âwhatâre we gonna be doing next? breaking into the national bank?â
âsomething tells me youâd find that exciting.â
well, shit. have you become so transparent that kim mingyu of all people can tell the truth about you?
âmaybe i would.â you grumble like a child admitting defeat.
the sound of his laughter echoes through the phone. it subconsciously brings a small smile to your face.
âlook, i have a meeting âtil five. i can come by after to brainstorm about things, pick up some food on the way. are you free tonight?â
âyeah. text me when youâre on the way here.â
âyes, maâam.â he jests, saying heâs got to go before hanging up. it leaves you to stare at your phone for a minute. a past version of yourself would never believe it if you said mingyu would ever get close to you in the way he has over the past two months. itâs been a strange time. itâs come to the point youâre pretty sure you donât even hate him as much as you used to.
maybe you donât even hate him at all anymore. maybe.
but something about admitting that to yourself feels scary, so you put your thoughts elsewhere while secretly looking forward to having him come over again.
itâs a quarter past five when he sends you a message, letting you know heâs picked up the food and on the way to your house, and a mere twenty minutes later, you and him are seated in the lounge on the first floor as he tells you about his day â all while shoving a dumpling into his mouth.
what interrupts you, however, is the noise of your doorbell. mingyu frowns instantly, and you mimic his expression, because you werenât expecting any more company. âwhoâs that?â
âno idea.â you shrug, so you get up from your seat, jogging down the stairs with mingyu following you, simultaneously chewing the food in his mouth.
checking the screen beside the door thatâs connected to the doorbell, you notice a familiar face standing outside.
âisnât he the main detective on the investigation?â mingyu asks rhetorically, his body language changing to something more stiff. âwhat is he doing here?â
âgood question. i certainly didnât invite him, but the guy at the front gate probably told him i was home. fuck â you have to hide.â
âhide? why?â
because the detective thinks you still hate mingyu, so seeing him here would make your story hardly plausible. âbecause he canât see you, obviously. get upstairs and stay there. iâll distract him.âÂ
âare you sure?â
âyeah, so go!â you push him back with your hands on his chest, and he seems hesitant to leave you by yourself, but he eventually jogs up the stairs again to get out of sight.
the inspector smiles only as a formality. you do the same. you havenât spoken to him since you indirectly accused him of being an asshole, a while before your fatherâs funeral.
âgood evening. i hope i havenât come at a bad time. may i come in?â
âi have to take a business call soon, actually, so another time would beââ
âi wonât be long. i assume youâd like to have an update on the investigation?â
well, fuck. heâs got you there, so youâre forced to let him in, but you donât let him wonder and gesture for him to sit down in the living room, on the couch. you move to take the seat directly across from him to ensure his focus is on you, instead of on the huge staircase behind him.
âam i still at the top of your list?â you ask. when the man tries to find the right words to respond, you scoff, filling in the blanks. of course you still are. âbut you have no evidence.âÂ
âitâs not about evidence â moreso the lack thereof. iâm stuck with two people who each have a solid motive, an alibi thatâs far from foolproof, and an important tie to the victim. you cannot deny that.âÂ
âis this another interrogation? because this is all off-record.â
ânot an interrogation. i was just wondering something â back when i spoke to you last, before your fatherâs funeral, i asked what you could tell me about kim mingyu, your fatherâs former associate.â hearing him say his name makes you anxious, yet you pull every possible muscle to hide it. âyou spoke of him as if he were the devil himself. you clearly hated him, perhaps more than you hated your father.â
âand?â
he pulls something from the inside of his jacket, and you discover theyâre a few candids, photos taken of you with mingyu while out in the city. well, thatâs just fucking great. youâre gonna have to make use of your top-notch acting skills here.
âiâm sure you wouldnât mind me asking why youâre suddenly seeing someone you claim to hate as much as you do.â
the blankness of your face dissolves as you adapt a more playful and sassy persona. âyou came all the way to my home for this? a few photos?â
âa few photos of my two main suspects together for a reason i cannot think of, yes.â
âyou canât think of a single thing? really? no offense, but i was under the impression you were at least a little clever.â
the man stares at you as if heâs trying to solve a puzzle. that can only mean one thing â heâs falling for your act.
what an idiot.
you lean forward in your place, the dry smile remaining on your face. âi fucked him. several times, actually.â
he narrows his eyes at your statement. âi thought you told me you hated him.â
âoh, i do. but a good hate-fuck is the best way to release some frustration. you should try it sometime.â the sound of your voice is monotonous as you utter the words in one go.
âiâll keep it in mind.â he sarcastically responds with a fake smile, and you copy his body language, pleased to see youâve made him somewhat uncomfortable.
he clearly wants to change the subject, but you donât feel like continuing this conversation any longer. âif youâll excuse me, i really have more pressing matters, so i trust you can see yourself out.â
the inspector huffs a bit, but he knows better than to overstay his welcome. he wordlessly allows you to let you walk him to the door before turning around. âi hope you know who youâre dealing with. not everyone is who they say they are.â
leaving you confused, he looks at you a moment, proceeding to walk out your front door, after which you close it. did he know more than he was willing to let on? what a strange visit.
when you finally decide to turn around, you see mingyu standing in the middle of the stairs, looking a little baffled, at which you roll your eyes.
âwhy would you tell him that?â
âwould you have preferred it if i told him the truth?â
âwould that be so bad?â
you scoff, passing him on the staircase. âsee, this is what i mean when i say youâre not as smart as you think you are.â
mingyu follows you back up to the lounge. âiâm just saying â maybe itâd make us look less suspicious.â
âitâd do the opposite, gyu. trust me.â
âokay. fine. but out of all the things you couldâve said, why that?â
âwell, it made him uncomfortable, making it easier to get him to leave early. and, well⌠you know what you look like.â
the last sentence really grabs his attention.
âwhat i look like?â he repeats, knowing damn well what youâre getting at, but heâs eager to hear you spell it out for him.
âwell, youâre somewhat good-looking. itâs one of your few strong points, actually.â
âso you think iâm hot?â
âdidnât quite say that.â
âno, but you implied it.â
ânot really. you may be conventionally handsome, gyu, but attraction is a whole different thing.â
âoh, câmon. admit it. iâm willing to, soâŚâ
âdo i need to remind you i said weâd keep things professional? which you agreed to.â
âgod, youâre so tough.â
âpart of my charm. maybe thatâs why you like me so much.â
âi never said i liked you.â
âno, you didnât have to.â you scoff, laughing at him, and mingyu feels the corners of his lips curling up â because youâre right.
then, as you plop down on the seats in the lounge again, you sigh as you look at the papers scattered across the table.
âyou know, itâs been weeks, and we still havenât got the slightest clue whoâs the killer,â you frown, fingers resting on your collarbone, âand if iâm being honest, i doubt we ever will.â
mingyu briefly narrows his eyes at you, proceeding to take his laptop out of his bag. you watch curiously when he silently types away at his keyboard, then turning the device around and clicking on the play button.
suddenly you hear your own voice, and the words â you said those during the interrogations. how the hell did he get his hands on those recordings?
he seems to be able to read your mind. âiâve got a contact in the force. he sent me the sorted files of everyone who was interrogated. we should probably listen to them, right? after all, we know more about the situation than the detectives.â
blinking a few times, you shrug and nod in agreement, so he increases the volume and presses the button again.
the following two and a half hours are spent listening to the recordings and taking notes of important things. youâre only halfway through them, but doing this the whole time really sucks you dry of energy.
at a certain point, you press the pause button and get up from your seat, moving to the liquor cabinet a few meters away. âyou like a good whiskey, right?â
âyeah. howâd you know?â
âi observe and listen. that, and i heard you say it to wonwoo one time.â
he chuckles at your words, watching you take the bottle with two glasses and set it down on the table.
once youâve poured the liquid into the glass, he takes what you offer him and down it in one go, after which you give him a judgemental stare. âseriously?â
âsorry. had a rough day.â
your gaze softens, and you pour him a second glass as he holds it out. âwhy?â
âi just⌠havenât been feeling great lately. not really sure why.â
well, thatâs interesting. âyour conscience eating away at you?â
his eyes widen an uncharacteristical amount, and your face is blank for a few moments until you crack a smile. he laughs it off, squeezing his hands together, which you take notice of.
âguess you could say that. no, i donât know. my sisterâs been stressed and she wonât tell me why, which is odd âcause she always comes to me â and my motherâs been overworking herself, and iâm worried for her.â
pursing your lips together, you cast your eyes down for a moment.
for some reason, you feel a sense of repulsiveness whenever mingyu speaks of his family like that. as if itâs a reminder of what you didnât have.
but you donât show it.
âsounds tough.â you reply, not intending to sound distant â you just find it difficult to know what to say.
what you fail to recognize is that mingyu sees it. he sees your struggle and the emotions you think are so deeply hidden underneath the surface. they actually are, to be honest, but heâs come to know you and with that the way you hold yourself. and heâs suddenly able to read you better.
youâre made of sharp edges only â broken glass on all sides.
he takes another sip of his drink. you down yours in one go.
âcan i ask you something?â
âsure.â
mingyuâs eyes curiously follow your every move, the alcohol in his system making him bolder. âhow are you holding up?â
âme? âm fine. why do you ask?â
âi think mostly âcause iâve asked you a lot of questions, but not that one.â
the words make you silent for a moment, and you let out a knowing sigh when you realize what heâs getting at. âi told you i was glad he died, gyu.â
âi know. but even if you are, you can still find it difficult to deal with.â
you inhale and exhale slowly, leaning back against the wall for a moment, staring into nothing. âiâm not sad that heâs gone. i never will be. but thereâs things i wanted to ask him.â
when you donât continue, he asks you to. âwhat things?â
âthings about my youth, my mother⌠hell, maybe even about you.â you shrug, chuckling for a brief moment, but the sound is gone as soon as it came. âbut i think, mostly, iâd ask if he saw himself in me.â
mingyu is intrigued by your answer. âwhy would you wanna know that?â
you shrug, your tiredness contributing to you opening up. âbecause maybe iâd hear the answer i want to hear, and not the one i currently have. my worst nightmare has always been to turn into him.â
âyou wonât be like him.â he tries to tell you, but you shake your head.
âi already am. i hated him to the bone, and yet i act like him, sound like him, handle things like him â because he taught me everything i know. at the end of the day, i am my fatherâs daughter. thereâs no changing that.â
âyouâre not a bad person. he was.â
âhow would you know? he was nice to you. stand-offish, probably, but nice.â
âyou donât think i had an idea of what kind of person he was? i cared for him, but i knew he could be harsh. i caught some bits and pieces when he⌠yelled at you after our high school graduation.â
you have an almost visceral reaction as he mentions the incident. your father had yelled at you after the graduation, because the best student of your class got a prize on the big podium, and it wasnât you. and that as a result made your father angry, because being in the top five wasnât enough â because it shouldâve been you.
it was always supposed to be you.
âwhy did you even want to be around him at all? if you knew how much of an asshole he was all this time.â
mingyu stares at the wall for a few seconds when he thinks about it. âhe came into my life when i needed it the most. but looking back, i feel guilty. i shouldnât have cared for someone like that.â
âlike what?â
âsomeone that cruel. he didnât deserve to be loved or cared for, not in any way.â
âcan only good people be loved?â you ask in return, and he seems positively surprised at your question.
âyouâd find love for a bad person?â
âmingyu.â you say his name in a brief chuckle, and it steals his breath away. âdo you think you have that much of a choice over who we love? we donât. thatâs what makes it so complicated.â
he seems to grow increasingly stressed with each thing you say, much to your surprise. âbut would you want to love someone like that?â
looking away from him for a moment, you think his words over. âif that person was good to me, and had the same values⌠yeah, i would. trust me, the few people i care about are no saints, and yet iâd go to hell and back for them.â
âam i on that list too?â
you meet his eyes, and his expression is so beautifully genuine, full of raw emotion youâve never seen him show before. itâs then that it finally hits you â kim mingyu actually cares about you.
the worst thing is that you just might care about him, too.
so you gently smile at him with a light shrug of your shoulders. âmaybe.â
he reciprocates it, his brown eyes blown wide as he gazes at you. âiâm glad. youâre on my list too, yâknow.â
âam i?â you tease, and he nods cheerfully, happy to have verbalized his appreciation for you. âwell, i didnât really see it coming, thatâs for sure.â
your words bring mingyuâs thoughts back to the death of your father, the rift you accused him of causing between the two of you. a wave of guilt comes flooding in once more.
âlook, i⌠i know you may not believe me, but i genuinely feel sorry for what happened. for taking something from you. despite the things i saw and heard, i really was too stupid to see that your dad treated you as badly as he did.â
staring him right in the eye, you donât fail to catch the earnestness in them. âitâs alright. youâre not half as much to blame as iâve tried to make myself believe you were.â
the words intrigue him. âhow come?â
swallowing the lump in your throat, you press your lips together. âbecause he didnât care about me. he never did. maybe he was different before my mother died, maybe he wasnât. i wouldnât know.â
mingyu tries to hold his ground as he watches you get emotional. he remains quiet in his spot next to you.
âcan i tell you something?â your voice is hesitant and almost inaudible, like a child whoâs trying to tell their parent they did something wrong.
when he silently nods, you continue.
âyou wanted to know why i hated you, right? well, i...â you pause in an attempt to find the right words, âi felt invisible to my father. like i didnât matter â i was treated like nothing more than a tool to improve his businesses. but you... he treated you like a son. like a person. and i spent years trying to figure out what i did wrong and you did right, and i just... i didnât get it. i still donât. but whatever it was, i was jealous that you had it and i didnât. and everyone loved you and praised you, be it our friends or their parents. everyone in our social circle. from my point of view, no one had ever uttered a single bad word about you, and then when my father began to take a liking towards you as well... i just hated you. you were my perfect scapegoat.â
the guilt on his face is clear as day. when he parts his lips, you already know he wants to apologize again, but you shake your head, speaking up first.
because you donât hate him anymore.
âmingyu, there was nothing for you to take away from me to begin with. long before you were even present in his life, he didnât care for me either.â with the corners of your lips turned down, you continue. âi did everything he asked. perfect grades, perfect manners, perfect social life. but he didnât care. itâs not often i say people have no heart, but he just⌠he just didnât have one. for his job, perhaps, for his business partners â but not for anyone outside of his work. i just didnât think that would go for his own child, too.â
you reach for your forehead, trying to take his attention away from your face, running your hand through your hair while blinking your tears away. why are you telling him all this?
but it just feels so good to finally get it all out.
âyou did the best you could.â he tells you, and you nod with watery eyes.
âi did. and somehow, none of it mattered.â
when the first heavy sob leaves you, you try to hold it back, not wanting him to see you break down.
he doesnât let you. he moves to sit next to you and takes you into his arms, and for the first time in however long, you let yourself break. the tears are your acknowledgement of the pain it has caused you over the years, the damage that will never quite heal and always follow you wherever you go.
youâre not sure why youâre falling apart this easily. you hardly ever cry anymore, perhaps a few times a year, and you usually feel strong enough to hold it all back when youâre in front of others, but this time â this time, you just canât.
âitâs alright, sweetheart. itâs okay. youâre alright. heâs gone now.â he whispers into your ear as comfort. âbut youâre not alone. not anymore.â
his heart shatters when he internally makes the comparison between the loving family he grew up in and the lonely, broken family you could hardly call home.
âwhy wasnât i enough? why didnât he like me?â you mutter to yourself, having lost control as you cry into mingyuâs neck, clinging onto his body as your chest aches.
âbecause he couldnât. he didnât have it in him to care for anyone. that says more about him than it does about you.â he responds, gently stroking your hair, even pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
and for the first time in a long time, you feel⌠cared for. like you truly matter to someone.
something that feels scary, perhaps even strange, but good.
mingyuâs big arms cage you into his hold, a comforting feeling. to be honest, you wish you could stay with him like this for the whole night. maybe even longer than that.
he rubs your back, feeling the pain in your chest as if it were his own. heâd take all of it if he could. you were damaged in a way that no one deserves, and seeing how much it still affects you and most likely will in the long term, that tears him apart.
the heavy ache in your chest subsides, yet you still cling onto him. you feel the most at ease youâve ever been with anyone.
âthank you.â you mumble, giving him a tight hug with you wrapping your arms around him âtill heâs almost suffocating. âi needed that.â
âanytime.â
you eventually finally come down from your breakdown, body slightly twitching as the last tears silently roll down your cheeks.
with your head in his lap, you lay on your side, closing your eyes for a while as the pain in your chest slowly subsides. heâs still rubbing at your clothed skin, and youâre curious if heâs aware it does wonders for calming you down.
âiâm sorry for yelling at you, gyu. after the funeral.â you speak up, voice still raspy. âi was wrong about you.â
mingyu feels his throat tighten up. âitâs okay. i was wrong about you, too. we have more in common than i initially thought we did.â
you wipe your tears away and move to sit upright, finally feeling confident enough to look him in the eye again. âlike what?â
both of you are tired. everything thatâs happened the past weeks has definitely been causing some sleepless nights for both of you, and with all the alcohol and emotions running high, youâre both feeling a tad drowsy.
he runs a hand through his dark locks. âthis part of society â i think itâs exhausting, a lot of the time. full of noise, small talk thatâs supposed to hide how cold half these people are, social pressure, all of that. but here, at home, itâs quiet. maybe a little too quiet. the thing is, i have my friends and family that i care about more than anyone else, but i still feel⌠hollow. like iâm missing something.â
you nod at him. âyou can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.â
âyeah.â he sighs. âdo you feel it too?â
âwell, i may not have a family, but i have my friends. and they mean so much to me, and i can talk to them if i need to, but⌠yeah. i feel it too.â
he wonders if you feel the same connection that heâs feeling right now. heâs drawn to you like a damn magnet.
mingyu already knows heâs a goner when he gently puts his hand on your cheek. he feels electrified by your presence, your voice, even the way you look at him.
he needs you.
âmaybe we can be lonely together.â
his words are enough for your breath to hitch in your throat. you doubt youâve ever wanted to have someone as much as you do now.
and so you cross a line you never thought you would and press your lips to his, desperately needing his touch.
the kiss is harsh but slow, as if youâre aching to taste eachother. his hand makes its way to the back of your head, the other on your back to pull you closer to him.
his heart might as well be lurching out of his chest. god, he feels that excitement and nervousness as if he were his teenage self sharing a first kiss with his crush â yet whatever feeling is clouding his mind is something darker and deeper, something that transcends what he can describe with words.
he kisses you like his life depends on it. once youâve both pulled back to get some air, looking the other straight in the eye, itâs like youâre silently admitting that the relationship you share is more than just being partners.
itâs something that comes alarmingly close to love.
the moment is harshly interrupted when his phone rings. he blinks a few times before rolling his eyes at the timing, as heâs still half on top of you.
you can do nothing but wait underneath him as he takes the call, and when he closes his eyes and releases a sigh, you know itâs not positive.
âalright, thank you.â he says before hanging up, turning his focus to you. âthe alarm at my apartment in the city was triggered. i gotta check it out, iâm sorry.â
âitâs fine.â you mutter out, suddenly unsure of how to talk to him now that youâve crossed the line that you have.
but mingyu is much more straightforward. his gaze is warm and intense as it finds your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to stay here with you. so he shows you that.
just when your lips are about to touch again, he smirks, gently holding your chin. âiâll be back for this.â
with those words, he catches his breath and gets up from the couch, after which he jogs down the stairs, and half a minute later, you hear the front doors open and close.
the sound allows you to release the breath youâve been holding.
what the fuck have you gotten yourself into?
thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x
READ PART TWO HERE
ÂŽ SANAKIRAS â do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
#kim mingyu x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svthub#mingyu x reader#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#svt smut#seventeen imagine#svt imagine#kim mingyu ff#kim mingyu angst#svt fic#svt angst#svt fanfic#svt imagines
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