#also the urethra moment killed me

[emma-engels]

Just realized this, but why did they share earphones during the last video? I mean they've reacted to A LOT of things in the past and like... they've never used, nevermind share them???

Like even if that was for noise cancelation or something couldn't they use the wireless ones?

I swear to god, these gays are just looking for the new ways to sit as close to each other as they possibly can while torturing the shit out of us 🙄

[duhragonball]

JoJolion Ch. 100-104

Yeah, that'll happen.

Continuing from last time, Josuke has lured Toru's Stand, Wonder of U, into the Locacaca lab in the hospital. But instead of attacking Josuke as expected, Wonder of U deploys a rock insect with bullshit powers. It can hide in flat surfaces, and its poison sting makes asbestos fibers come out of "every hole in your body" whenever you extend your limbs.

This is stupid because Josuke's expereinced this about three or four times, and it doesn't seem to be causing him that much difficulty. Hell, Rai takes a shot from the stinger to protect Josuke, and I can't help but wonder why it matters. It barely seems to bother Josuke at all, and it doesn't slow Rai down much either.

Also, every time the asbestos fibers appear, it looks like they're coming out of the characters' pupils, which sounds really distressing, but they just pull it all away and they're fine. They need to pull it away, or they won't be able to see or breathe. But Wonder of U said "every hole", so I have to assume that Josuke's urethra and anus are just lousy with asbestos fibers right now, and that won't be fun to remove.

Anyway, Josuke's problem with the Rock insect is that he can't attack or defend against it, but Rai manages to slither up to the ceiling and get the drop on the thing while it's setting up another attack on Josuke. He takes it out with a single strike of his body-cord.

And that just so happens to put Rai within striking distance of Wonder of U. We already know how this will go. If thinking about pursuing Wonder of U will get you pulverized with killer rain, how in the hell can this be a good idea? I think Rai's logic is that if he can kill the Stand quickly enough, the calamity effect will be canceled before any reprisal can occur. Or maybe Rai is willing to sacrifice himself just to get off this one shot. Or maybe Wonder of U's description of its ability is just a bluff. Maybe it's only good at repelling people from a certain distance, and once you're close enough you don't have to worry about it.

Wonder of U admits that Rai might be on to something, since this situation is unprecedented. No one's ever managed to get this close before, which I guess is a testament to Josuke's original strategy. Wonder of U can keep its distance from Josuke in this room, but it's still in the room, and there's only so much space to maneuver around. And Rai got this close because he was sneaking up on the Rock Insect, not approaching Wonder of U. It just so happens that they were fairly close together.

Josuke pleads for Rai to back off, but Wonder of U reminds him of his dead father, so Rai takes the shot.... and it doesn't work. This is what I was talking about when I said I misremembered Jobin's death scene. I thought he and Rai both got an "almost-got-'im" moment against Wonder of U, but no, it was just Rai.

Here, the calamity that strikes Rai is the soap bubbles Josuke placed throughout the room. Even though Josuke was controlling them, they still went wild and carved out chunks of Rai's body, leaving him with fatal injuries. How and why did Josuke set up bubbles with such a destructive power? I'm not so sure that he did.

Rai's missing a chunk of his head, but he still lives long enough to encourage Josuke to keep going. He explains something important to Josuke about his Stand ability: The bubbles are made of strings that spin very fast, and this is part of an unseen phenomenon.

Then he opens his.... coat? I don't know. The point is that a bubble carved a hole through Rai's torso, but it did not go through his clothing. It was an invisible bubble, something different from the usual Soft and Wet powers, and that's what Rai desperately needs Josuke to understand.

Now, this whole development bugged me a lot when I first read this part of the story. This is, of course, a callback to "Spin", the power weilded by Gyro Zeppeli in Steel Ball Run. Over the course of Part 7, Gyro taught Johnny Joestar how to do "Spin" himself, and this greatly advanced the abilities of Johnny's Stand, Tusk.

Now, in Part 8, Rai is telling Josuke to apply "Spin" concepts to his own Stand to overcome Wonder of U. Well, not exactly. Rai is actually telling Josuke that he's already using "Spin" all the time. He just needs to become aware of this and use this property to his advantage. But how would Rai know anything about "Spin"? He's not a Neapolitan executioner, he's a Japanese Plant Appraiser. That's what bothered me so much in 2021.

Since then, I've watched a Hamon Beat video about the topic, and it clarified some of the relationship between "Spin" and Stands. The "Spin" relies on the Golden Ratio, which is a fundamental property of life (according to the SBR lore, anyway). "Spin", like the Arrow and Stone Masks from Parts 1-6, are advancements that allow humans to approach the kind off powers found in Stands. This is why Johnny was able to combine his "Spin" techniques so effectively with his Stand ability, and why Gyro eventually developed his own Stand, Ball Breaker, near the end of Part 7.

Hamon Beat's logic, then, is that since Rai's a Stand User and an expert on plants, he would have a keen insight into "Spin", which has ties to both Stand powers and the natural world. We know that's the case, because Rai was observant enough to notice Soft and Wet's bubbles were made of strings way back in Chapter 70, when they finished defeating Urban Guerrilla. He compred the rapidly spinning strings of Soft and Wet to the cords of his own Stand, Doggy Style, so Rai could apply things he knows about his own powers to Josuke's.

So it's not quite so far-fetched after all. The other thing that bugged me about this scene, though, was that Rai explained all of this despite having huge chunks of his body cored out by the bubbles. But Rai's been taking a lot of damage this whole time, and since his Stand lets him unravel his body into cords, he seems to be able to withstand a lot more punishment than the average Stand User. It's kind of like how Jolyne would stitch herself back together, or Bruno Buccellati would use his zippers to disassemble and reassemble himself. Rai is dying, make no mistake, but he's not dying as quickly as his injuries would make it seem.

As far as the whole "unseen power" goes, I think Rai is alluding to the similarities between the "Spin" and Stands. Both are imperceptible to those who aren't familiar with their power. Only other Stand Users can see Stands, and they can become intangible as well. Paisley Park can travel through cell phone signals, so what is it even made of, then? Maybe all Stands are just infinitely thin strands, and the vibrations of those strands is what gives them form.

Meanwhile, at the Higashikata's house, Joshuu has brought the Locacaca plant to Yasuho, because he plans to use the fruit to heal her injuries. He both castigates himself for being so useless in this crisis, and he proclaims that he'll save everyone with the Locacaca fruit. All he knows is that the Locacaca is important, but he doesn't seem to know how to use it. His first step is to save Yasuho, I guess, but he doesn't seem to know what that'll get them.

He also doesn't understand how the fruit works. Well, no one truly does. Nearby, Toru watches this scene unfold, and decides he might as well let them try this, since the branch can always grow more fruit later on. This way, he can see exactly what the new Locacaca can do. Joshuu thinks that it'll fuse his and Yasuho's body together, like how Josuke was made from Kira and Josefumi, but he convinces himself that it'll be like sex, so I guess that's why he wants to do this.

Yasuho is reluctant to try this, because there's so many unknowns to the New Locacaca, but then she realizes the Enemy Stand User is nearby, but the only one who could be here is Toru, whom she called for help a while back. Realizing that Toru is the Stand User, Yasuho suddenly goes for the fruit and takes a bite.

I think the idea here is that Yasuho is all about finding and sharing information, and while she gets stuck in dilemmas sometimes, she gets unstuck when she has important information to pass along. Now that she knows the Head Doctor's true identity, she desperately wants to pass that knowledge along to Josuke, and she can only do that healthy.

Then we flash back to when Toru first met Yasuho. No, I don't mean when they dated in high school, I mean when he just showed up at her first day of summer camp and gave her special rocks to help her light a fire. He tells Yasuho that he's looking for someone important, but he doesn't know his name, only certain parameters that sound more like a database search than an acquaintance. Yasuho manages to track down eight people who match his criteria, and one of them is Satoru Akefu, a 79-year-old doctor in a nursing home.

Of course, Toru's true objective here was to find a human whose identity he could assume using Wonder of U, but Yasuho doesn't realize this, any more than she's aware of her own Stand. By the time they meet again in high school, she doesn't remember him from summer camp.

Yasuho calls him out on this, and asks him how long he's been in her life, stealing from her. I'm not sure what she means by this, but maybe she thinks he sent that hair clip her way, or some other misfortune she may have endured. Toru warns Yasuho that she can be spared the fate he's planned for the Higashikata family, but if she takes any action against him, or even looks at his face, then she'll be the very next one in line to die.

Defiantly, Yasuho looks right at him and holds up Joshuu's cell phone. As she looks for some way to contact Josuke, Joshuu gets upset because his arm was deformed in the equivalent exchange and now he's having buyer's remorse.

In particular, he's upset at the thought of Yasuho using the arm she took from him to give handjobs, or to fondle Josuke's balls. Joshuu's the fucking worst. This was basically the moment where he justified his presence in the story, healing the dueteragonist in her hour of need, but he can't have even a shred of dignity about it. As violent as he's acting here, he doesn't even actually do anything to Yasuho, which kind of makes him even more pathetic.

Guided by Paisley Park, Yasuho calls Kyo Nijimura, alias Kei Kira, I guess. I never knew for sure if "Nijimura" was her real last name or not. She's been absent from the story for a while now, but it's not too surprising to find her taking care of her sick mother, Holly. She's probably doing this all the time when she's not working as the Higashikata family maid.

I've often wondered why Kyo kept up this maid job, since she only did it to infiltrate their house and spy on them for Yoshikage Kira, but hell, she probably needs the money to help pay for Holly's medical care, and the Higashikatas need a maid, so why not? I'm not sure if the Higashikatas ever learned the truth about Kei/Kyo, but it sort of doesn't matter at this point.

Yasuho reaches her on the phone and asks her to find Josuke and give him her cell phone so Yasuho can talk to him. And Kei knows exactly where to find Josuke, because Holly wrote it down on her hand before she went into a coma. This kind of supports my theory that Holly's Stand somehow helps grease the wheels for the good guys.

So Yasuho has made her play, but Toru's warning will come true. High above Morioh, a panel off a jet plane has come loose and its heading for her right now.

Back at the Locacaca lab, Wonder of U still won't approach Josuke, so he starts smashing up the place, destroying vials of Locacaca 6251. That annoys Toru enough for Wonder of U to come closer, but then calamities start attacking Josuke anyway. So I guess breaking Toru's things count as a pursuit? I don't know.

Josuke tries to kick Wonder of U, maybe in desperation, and the calamity turns his soap bubbles against him, just like they hurt Rai earlier, and I think this is what gives Josuke the insight he needs to understand what Rai was saying.

Okay, so causing Stands to backfire is a known effect of Wonder of U. We saw it earlier when Mitsuba tried to use her force arrows to flush Paisley Park down the toilet, only for one of the arrows to go wild and blast a hole in the wall, revealing the Locacaca branch to the rest of the family. I don't think Toru caused that specific thing to happen, but it goes to show that it's not just random cuts or falling objects that get caught in the effect. Even Stands can improbably malfunction. I'd like to think Nut King Call has been kicking Joshuu in the groin whenever he's off-panel.

Like I was saying before, I don't think Josuke made these soap bubbles into deadly cutting weapons. I think that happened from them getting affected by the calamity power, the same way those raindrops hit harder than they should have. In other words, Wonder of U caused the soap bubbles to behave in a way that was possible, however improbable. And it's a way that Josuke had never considered before, which is the unseen property that Rai wanted him to know about.

And I think feeling that effect on his own leg might have helped him understand all of this. He lost control of his bubbles, but he could make them do the same thing deliberately, if he set his mind to it.

Then Born This Way rushes into the room, and it freezes the soap bubbles with the cold wind that it generates. This blows the bubbles directly into Wonde of U, and a few of them actually connect! His cane breaks and everything.

And now Toru's finally beginning to understand what Rai was talking about. Among the bubbles he can see, there's also bubbles that can't bee seen. Wonder of U operates on a logic of cause and effect, but if there's something in Soft and Wet that operates outside of reality, then it wouldn't be bound by the logic of Wonder of U. And if that's true, then Josuke might be able to find a way to hurt him after all.

Meanwhile, Kei has already suffered a fatal calamity. When Wonder of U's cane broke, a chunk of it went flying into her eye as she walked in. As she dies, she tosses her phone to Josuke and says it's for him.

Yasuho quickly sends Paisley Park to Josuke, and fills him in on everything she's just learned. Toru is the Stand User. I don't know how this helps Josuke, but at least everyone's up to date now.

So Toru decides to call off his plans to kill Josuke and withdraws. Whatever's going on, he can't afford to take any chances, and if he can just grab the Locacaca branch and leave, he can disappear the way the Rock Humans always do. He can just start a new identity somewhere else and start over with his plan. This might be why Yasuho told him what she knew, so that Josuke would understand the stakes involved. It's not just a question of whether they can defeat Wonder of U. Now they have to beat him, because if he gets the branch and leaves then they'll never get another chance.

Somehow, Rai encourages Josuke from beyond the grave. This also annoyed me in 2021, but we've seen dead comrades do this in other JoJo parts so I guess it's okay.

Toru advances on Yasuho to get the branch, and when Joshuu tries to defend her a falling leaf cuts off some of his fingers. Serves him right.

Yasuho warns Josuke that Toru has the branch, so there's no time to play it safe now. He has to pursue Wonder of U and try to attack with this unseen power Rai was talking about. And he has to do it now, before it's too late. So Josuke takes aim and fires...

[teacupsandcyanide]

collection of some of my favourite moments on real housewives of beverly hills, out of context, but also just know that having context really doesn't really make any of these things less bewildering:

"What ultimately sucks about this is that friends don't sue friends :("

"I think he looks like a mastiff but not like a gay mastiff."

[at a seance] "WHO'S GONNA JUMP INSIDE MY BODY?!"

"She's saying you look like a gay dog."

The time Kim used a new breath spray for a week before realising it was a mini can of air freshener

"She said mean things about Adrienne's very beautiful shoes. She made fun of our dog Jackpot calling him Crackpot."

Kim being late to everything and then saying she's never late because she's a Virgo

[said with fully sincere anger] "Where are my crutches? I want to hobble away!"

Dana: Have you seen Brandi's crutches? Kim: [drunkenly] No [cut to earlier when Kim and Kyle are sitting on the couch] Kyle: What – did you do something with her crutches? Kim: [equally drunkenly] I hid them

"Being friends with you is like playing chess with Bobby Fischer."

The phrase "nose coming-out party" used with carefree abandon

"I'm an Arabian horse. You know, like [makes cat yowling noise, mimes cat claws]"

Yolanda (who is evil) being scared to pole dance because she might "hurt [her] peepee". Brandi told her she didn't have a peepee. Yolanda said that yes she does she's a MOM what do you think her kids came out of. Your urethra? Your children came out your urethra???? no girl it just feels like that because of the lemons

Yolanda has a whole thing with lemons and i can't get into it without having to add ED discussion trigger warnings. can't stand her hope she goes bankrupt so her financials will finally match her morals

There are a lot of mediums on the show but the second-best one said: "Later I'll tell you the truth about what happened to Princess Diana because she told me."

[bad English accent that somehow sounded like a racist Indian impersonation] "May I politely suck on your penis, please?"

[doing air quotations[ "I think Adrienne's "great" like, as a "person", in theory..."

The best (ie worst person) medium on the show told Kyle that her husband would never fulfil her and then sat through the resulting screaming match blowing on a fake cigarette (an electrical one, but I'm pretty sure it was like. either the shittiest pre-vape e-cig ever or it was what it looked like, that is an electrical stage cigarette supposed to be used for theatre)

Also then after everyone finished screaming at each other and left the medium said "they kill themselves or each other to feed their young", somehow both as if it was a totally normal thing to say AND as if she was a thirteen-year-old defiantly reciting her favourite screamo lyric to a family member who asked how school was going

Kim looking at some decorative turtle shells on a wall and enthusing about how much she loves turtles. me too girl the fuck

"I want to create a garden, a gay garden."

Kim's daughter getting ready for prom while Kim sits at a table behind her mashing an enormous bowl of Waldorf salad together with her bare hands

[salemwritesxx]

1:0 for kuroo

↳ bottom kuroo x top reader

summary: Y/n plays MonHun with his friends online, however, Kuroo, the scheming cat, has his own game he wants to play.

w.count: 1.4k

content warning: smut, porn without plot, blowjob, deepthroating while y/n is playing a video game with a headset on, swallowing, fingering

-----------------------------------

“NO! Nonono! UGH FUCK!”, gripping the controller tightly, or it would have flown through the living room, you clicked your tongue in annoyance when the monster on the screen killed your character, making it so you and your teammates lost the battle – again.

Kuroo was in the other room, looking through some of his work related stuff, when he heard your groaning and moaning, hence the scheming cat got out of his chair and walked over into the living room.

“Okay. Everyone, don’t forget your bombs this time so we can sleep bomb it!”, you didn’t even acknowledge your boyfriend, simply talking about your strategy with your teammates over your headset, hence making Tetsu a little bit jealous – since you didn’t give him any attention.

Smoothly crawling on the couch, as if he was a real cat, he finally got your attention when his muscular arms wrapped around your neck from the side, though before you could say anything, his swift tongue was licking along your outer ear, making you shiver and clench your teeth to suppress a surprised little groan.

“Tetsu. I’m kinda occupied right now.”, covering the mic with one hand so your teammates wouldn’t necessarily listen, you turned to him for a split second, your boyfriend however just grinning with this teasing glint in his golden eyes.

“Oh, don’t mind me, Y/n. Just play your game.”, Kuroo purred, before leaning in once more and sucking on your neck so shamelessly that you couldn’t help but shiver again, though you didn’t say much to it anymore when you turned back to your game and started preparing for the next quest.

However, Kuroo had his own ‘game’ he played when he laid down onto his belly and his hand slipped down your torso and on top of your lap, earning your little hiss as you instinctively spread your legs a bit more – making him chuckle with delight, knowing that you couldn’t resist him or his touches.

“Seriously! Babe! What if they hear?!”, you once more covered the mic as you talked to your boyfriend one last time, trying to get through to him and that him touching you so wantonly was very bad right now since 3 other people could literally listen to your moans if you weren’t careful.

Though Kuroo just silently looked up with those glowing, gold eyes and that messy hair that just begged you to bury your hand into it to mess it up even more, but you resisted as the loading screen faded and your quest began, thus your hands were back on the controller to play.

“It’s your fault for not giving me attention, Kitty.”, he purred eventually and giggled afterwards when he hooked his fingers into your pants and pulled them down without a second thought, exposing your soft dick.

Not wasting another second, he softly wrapped his lips around the tip without even preparing you, making you groan while biting your lip to suppress it. Kuroo simply sucked on your cock gently, almost… lazily. Not rushing at first as he played with your cockhead, letting the tip of his tongue flick against your urethra and teasingly pushing it in just a little, before swirling his wet muscle around, soon tasting drops of precum.

“Fuck, Tetsu!”, you had already pushed the mic up and away from your mouth when you couldn’t hold back a light growl, though it wasn’t just about your friends possibly hearing you, it also affected your play when you were the one to go down to the monster’s KO-Attack first.

“Dude! You need to concentrate!”, said one of your teammates, hence you just deeply growled an “I am!” back, which wasn’t true at all, especially when Tetsu scooched in closer and swallowed more of your fully hard cock by now – damn you, you reacted way too easily and fast to his teasing.

Pressing his thighs together, Kuroo himself was pretty affected just by sucking you off, his own dick growing in his pants and his hand quite quickly slipping back and underneath his clothes to press two fingers against his twitching ass, rubbing against his hole and making himself moan around your cock, the want to be fucked growing each second.

“Oh mY GOD!”, you groaned out, at this point your lips had marks of your own teeth in them, yet you couldn’t hold it back when your cock hit the back of your boyfriend’s throat so easily, Kuroo not even gagging or anything, simply moaning so lewdly around your thick shaft, before ever so slowly pulling back. And after sucking on your cockhead for a few seconds, releasing it with a pop.

Panting a little, tears were already in his golden eyes. A few moments later, he pulled his hand up, spit into it and slipped it back down into his pants and underwear, smearing the make-shift lube around his hole so he could push one finger in.

That spectacle alone was making your cock visibly bounce, because even though you tried to stare onto the big screen, in the corner of your eyes, you could also watch your boyfriend fingering himself as best as he could, only to lightly jump and then jerk your hips when his warm, wet mouth engulfed your cock once more.

Clawing onto your thigh with his free hand, Kuroo bobbed his head, letting his tongue once more explore your little hole as he teased it and pushed his tip slightly inside to earn your delightful hissing, before swallowing your cock whole in one go again, your head hitting the back of his throat and making him choke and moan around your dick in bliss.

Panting already, you wondered if your friends could listen, though at this point you merely thought, “Fuck it!”, since it felt too good, the fight in front of you almost forgotten as you lazily dodged a few attacks, trying not to get killed a second time.

Pushing his fingers in as deep as he could, he explored his ass while his mouth was busy and for a moment, he held your cock between his lips – fully swallowed – before starting to move his head once more, thrusting your dick into his mouth without any restraint, his choked out moans only indicating how good he felt.

“Tetsu, I’m gonna…”, trying to warn him quietly, your hips were inevitably jerking into his mouth as well, hence he pulled back a little to let you thrust into his hot, wet cavern while his fingers vigorously moved, however, sadly, not getting the same satisfaction that you could give him since he couldn’t push as deep as he wanted in the position he was in.

“Baby, fuck! Fuck!”, you pressed out between gritted teeth, your thrusts became erratic and irregular between his lips, your fingers on the controller twitching as you wanted nothing more but to grab his hair and push him down, yet you had to attack the monster on the screen.

Moaning loudly himself, he spurred you on with his lewd, blissful sounds, the bouncing from your cock on his tongue so vivid that he knew you were so, so close, before he pushed down one last time fully, your cock buried balls-deep between his lips as you growled and panted, a blissful moan the last thing escaping your own lips as you released.

Kuroo immediately swallowed, not wasting any second as he gulped down your hot seed, his lips vibrating from his choked pleasurable sounds.

Pulling back at last, you were gasping for breath and your cock bounced back against your tummy, while Kuroo sat back up and pulled out his fingers as well, however the visible outline of his cock against his sweatpants, as well as the dark wet spot from his precum, was enough to make you close the game.

“Sorry, there was a disconnect, let’s talk later!”

Maybe it was a little obvious, especially with the way you panted into the mic, but you didn’t care when you turned it off to put it onto the table, your teammates long forgotten.

“Ahn!”, moaning and also kind of laughing when you tackled him at last, you both fell back into the soft cushions that were adorning your sofa, Tetsu’s grin teasing you, his heart thumping wildly and his legs immediately slung around your hips.

“You are seriously so annoying!”

“I know.”, he laughed, knowing you were joking as well when you laughed with him, before groaning into your mouth when your full lips met his for a passionate kiss.

With that, the scheming cat won his game once again.

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@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

writer’s note: my current obsession is the new monhun rise! so… i thought it was only natural for me to want someone to… “help” during my hunts ;) (lmfao pls don’t take me seriously) anyone who plays monhun here? i’ve been playing monhun since mh4u and for me, as of now i think mh world iceborne is better but that’s probs cuz i am a solo player only and capcom says a big fat fuck you to solo players in rise, so yeah.. i like rise, but being a solo main insect glaive player, i like world iceborne much more for now!

[13atoms]

Deep Focus: Chapter 3 [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Summary: Tom is a successful porn director with a romantic streak which proves very popular with his female audience. His resident porn actress and business partner has been with him through thick and thin, the two of them growing completely inseparable, even as her own career starts taking off. But working in such close proximity is intense, and burgeoning feelings threaten to complicate their professional relationship.

Mature, smut, porn director!AU, ethical porn production discussion, porn-star-and-coworker!reader. Friends to lovers, slow-ish burn. This chapter: no smut, light hurt / comfort, all fluff. Warnings for usual stuff + UTI talk [6k] Ao3 link

You woke up in agony. With an ache through your entire lower body, and that distinctive, painful need to piss that made you want to cry. After a few dazed moments in the bathroom, you realised what was wrong, and bit back tears as at the overwhelming sensation cramping through your entire lower body.

Before you’d even googled the symptoms, you knew Urinary Tract Infection would be at the top of your screen. Next to it, a new message from Tom, asking some question about a file he couldn’t find.

Fuck off, you wanted to send back, crawling back to bed and struggling to focus on the words as the burning sensation refused to subside. Another message followed it:

Tom: Actually no rush, we can go over it in the office.

A few more seconds, and he’d sent:

Tom: Does 12 still work

Tom: I’ll bring snacks :)

That stupid smiley face. He still couldn’t work out emojis. Usually it would endear him to you, but instead it brought tears to your eyes, your duvet both a comfort and unbearably stifling as you wrapped yourself around it, desperately shifting your hips to find a position which might numb the burning pain from that fucking UTI.

You were hungry, shaky, and you knew if you wanted painkillers you’d have to get food. But it was so far away. And the thought of cooking food made you want to throw up. Or scream into the pillow.

Your phone buzzed again.

Tom: ?

It wasn’t his fault. You knew it wasn’t his fault. Even if he had written the script and directed the scene and then trapped you into a heartwarming conversation which had definitely given bacteria the chance to destroy your urethra and bladder after hours of being fucked and fingered and you were going to kill him if he sent one more fucking text.

Grumpy and in pain and curled up in bed, it felt exhausting to even compose a short text which was polite enough to not hurt his feelings.

Sorry, don’t think I can make it in. Need a sick day.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, and considering just sucking it up and going in to the office. Maybe if you could grin and bear it, it might take your mind off things. Then you needed to piss again, pain pulsing in your entire lower abdomen, and you cursed the day you ever took the damn job. As you limped to and back from the bathroom, grabbing a huge glass of water on the way, the insistent buzz of your phone interrupted your pity party.

Of course it was Tom calling you.

You thought about not picking up, but you knew he’d only worry more. And some small part of you wanted the sympathy, as you forced yourself to chug water you knew would burn on the way out and lamented the bloated pain in your bladder.

“Hey, Tom.”

A second after you picked up, he was already in a full blown speech.

“Hey! Are you okay? What’s going on? You should have said you weren’t feeling well yesterday, we didn’t need to shoot. It’s – ”

He trailed off, and you smiled at the sound of his huff down the phone, his frustration at himself as he realised he wasn’t giving you space to talk. Even as the pain in your lower stomach demanded your attention, you caught yourself smiling.

“I’m fine, just feeling a bit worse for wear.”

For a beat he was silent, but you could imagine the furrow in his brow, the way his eyes would soften with concern if you could see his face.

“What’s really wrong?”

His voice was so soft, laced with that rare kind of sincerity that left you feeling like he truly, truly cared, and suddenly you realised you were crying. Stumbling over your words, face screwed up from discomfort, you knew you should be mortified to be sobbing down the phone to him. But Tom wouldn’t care.

“I’ve got a UTI, and it really fucking hurts. I should have peed straight after the shoot yesterday but I forgot and I don’t think I can get out of bed. I’m really sorry, I’ll – I’ll make up on the work. Email me what I need to do I just… I can’t do it today,” you choked out.

On the other end of the phone, you could hear Tom was moving.

“Oh, darling. Don’t even think about the work. You don’t need to apologise. I’m… what do I need to do? I’m on my way over.”

You wouldn’t expect anything less, the unguarded concern and tinge of panic in his voice catching you off-guard with how sweet it was. He was really worried. The conversation from yesterday loomed large in your memory – was he just worried about losing his biggest talent? You knew that wasn’t true, cursing yourself as soon as the thought flitted through your mind. He really cared.

Background noise leaked through the call as he put his phone on speaker, the jangle of keys and the sound of doors slamming telling you he was getting ready to leave.

“Tom, it’s fine. Please. I don’t need you to look after me,” you protested, “just the day off is great.”

He said your name lowly, almost a whine, and you knew he wouldn’t be discouraged whatever you said.

“I’m fine…” you returned, equally stubborn. You expected him to laugh, but instead the phone was returned to his ear, his voice clear as glass, with all of his decisive firmness.

“You said you couldn’t get out of bed. I’m coming over.”

It was enough to forget the discomfort you felt, your heart clenching at his protectiveness. You could keep fighting him – some part of you didn’t want him seeing you sick – but in truth it sounded really nice to be looked after. You curled up tighter in your bed, the screen of the phone cooling against your overheated cheek.

“So I’ll ask again,” he continued, “is there anything I can do to help?”

“Could you grab some cranberry juice on the way over? And maybe some junk food?”

“Of course. You should have just asked.”

“Thank you.”

Your voice sounded impossibly small, some admission of weakness, but Tom didn’t acknowledge it. He chatted for a bit longer, the sounds of the city playing in snatches alongside his baritone as he walked through the streets, blathering and giving you advice and smothering you with sympathy as he rushed over. It made you smile as you just listened, distracted a little from the pain and pressure in your bladder, as he offered completely vague and generic advice about looking after yourself.

It was nice. To have someone care for you that much. He was completely forgiven for his hand in causing you all that pain to start with.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t go to a doctor?”

You heard him stop walking, no longer distracted from his worry as it leeched into his voice. You could imagine the little row of shops he was standing outside of, the faded shopfronts he was staring down.

“I’ll be fine, Tom.”

“There’s a pharmacy on the way –”

“No!” you laughed, imaging his frustration as it was accompanied by the beeping of traffic lights.

He only hung up as he entered a shop, promising he wasn’t too far away, and as the line went dead you realised you’d been smiling for the past five minutes.

*

When Tom arrived you were just leaving the bathroom, rushing to the door and drying your hands on your sweatpants, fighting to stand normally even as a fresh burning pain demanded your attention.

He was juggling bags as you let him in, one in his arms and a backpack weighing him down.

“Hey!” he greeted, bustling past you to the kitchen, leaving you to close the door behind him.

You privately liked it when he was like this – on a warpath. It happened on set quite a lot, everything else forgotten as he found a goal and the blinders went on. You were usually there to balance him out – to remember to talk to people and do the boring stuff.

His current warpath was rummaging through your cupboards, muttering about all the things you needed to be given to feel better. He turned to face you slightly out of breath, a completely over reactionary panic in his eyes.

“I got you breakfast too, I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten.”

As he set his backpack down on your kitchen counter, unpacking pastries and painkillers and snacks, you wondered what you had done to deserve Tom. Without thinking, ignoring the fact you were just wearing sweats and probably needed a shower, you hugged him. Pulling you closer to him without hesitation, you felt Tom smile against you.

You blamed the pain, the hunger, the stupid bacteria, for the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Thank you,” you murmured into the hug.

Tom squeezed you just a little bit tighter, one hand tensing where it splayed flat against your shoulder blade. He refused to let you go first.

“Of course,” he murmured back.

Finally you stepped back, ducking you head to avoid his eyeline, turning your attention to the stuff he’d brought. Tom seemed to take a second to snap out of his daze, his overwhelming energy momentarily sapped, allowing the moment to fade away.

As he started to unpack the bag, you realised just how overboard he had gone. Every brand of cranberry juice you could imagine. You got a narrative of everything he bought as he stacked it in front of you, batting your hands if you tried to help.

“I know you said not to, but I spoke to a pharmacist on the way over. He said you don’t need to see a doctor unless it’s bad for another three days, then they might give you antibiotics. I got you paracetamol too – he said that was best.”

Two boxes of pills emerged from the bag, followed by chocolate.

“Since you feel rough,” he explained sheepishly, before pulling out more pills, “and I also got Vitamin C tablets. Those are supposed to help. Snacks for lunch…”

He’d practically bought you the whole corner shop, and you bit back a fond smile as he filled the fridge.

“…and cranberry juice. As requested.”

You were about to thank him, the words trapped in your mouth at just how overboard he had gone, but Tom was already speaking again.

“I know he said just to give you painkillers, but if it gets worse I will take you to see a doctor. Your kidneys might be at risk if it doesn’t clear up soon –”

You sat down heavily in the kitchen, pulling your legs closer to yourself as the pain spiked for a moment, making Tom twist to face you in concern. It fucking hurt, but you wouldn’t let him see that. With a huff of laughter, you tugged at his arm to sit beside you.

“Tom! You are mothering me to death,” you teased, feeling your cheeks burn hot at his attention.

“I’m hopefully mothering you to make you feel better, darling.”

Damn him, for being so sweet. You felt yourself blush under the attention.

“Just because you need me to find that file!” you shot back, trying not to stare at the way his teeth worried his bottom lip.

His eyes met yours intensely, purposefully, and for a second you remembered his uncanny ability to be so sincere it felt like he was staring right through you.

“It’s not just work. I care about you,” he told you candidly. You almost couldn’t bear to listen to it. “I was so worried when you said you were sick. I hoped you were just hungover or something.”

Snorting a laugh, you tried to break the heaviness of the atmosphere. It sounded horrifically unnatural. Tom didn’t even crack a smile.

“There’s a reason we start at 12 most days,” you teased, before sensing you’d somehow gotten the mood entirely wrong. Tom stayed quiet.

“Thank you,” you tried again, voice more sincere as you tried to match him, wincing as you shifted your hips, “I do really appreciate it. So much. I was just going to lie in bed and be miserable, and this is actually making me feel better.”

You’re making me feel better. The thought went unsaid.

“I’m glad.”

The pair of you ate in silence for a while, Tom working on an orange as you munched through the breakfast he’d brought you. Every few bites, you caught his concerned gaze on you.

“You should have told me straight away. And we’ll get you the week off work.”

You went to protest, but he’d strategically spoken as you had a mouth full of food. He ploughed on.

“No arguments. We can reschedule the shoot on Thursday, or hire someone else.”

“Tom, no. I’ll be fine once I’ve down the… three cartons of cranberry juice you bought. How much do I owe you, by the way?”

“Not a penny.”

“Tom!”

He ignored your complaints, silently moving to stand instead. As Tom searched for a glass, opening random cupboards, you picked a carton to chug cranberry juice from with all the grace of a frat boy. Tom laughed at first, before resting on hand on your arm as you forced yourself to drink as much as you could.

“You’ll make yourself sick!” he protested, and you finally conceded defeat and put down the remaining half of the carton.

“Better than this UTI,” you grumbled, “cranberry juice usually clears them pretty quick.”

He left you to it for a while as you forced down the sickly sweet cranberry juice (not your favourite brand, you decided, but it would do) and finished your breakfast.

Assuming he was responding to emails you sat quietly, letting him focus while you enjoyed the food, until you caught the banner of WebMD at the top of his screen. You sighed, and Tom’s focus was on you in a second, worry in the lines of his forehead.

“Is it bad?” he asked quietly, glancing down at the hand firmly place on your lower stomach.

“It’s not ideal,” you conceded.

He bit his lip, and you knew he was sinking further into a pit of worry.

“People have them all the time. Stop reading that, I’ll be okay!”

“I just get scared. Whenever I see what you go through at work, I – ”

“You make it sound like I’m suffering some terrible fate, Tom. It’s my job, and I have to do it. This could have happened from anything.”

You cut yourself off before you could accuse him of overreacting. He was sincerely worried. You didn’t want to mock that.

“You could get a hot water bottle, if you don’t mind?” you suggested, “That helps sometimes.”

He was on his feet before you finished speaking, rummaging through cupboards and flicking the kettle on. It seemed like a good solution, to give him a task. You chewed your last bite of croissant slowly as you watched him.

Sweet, sweet Tom. It was dangerous to admit, but you had no idea what you would do if he wasn’t in your life. You watched the line of his slim build as he strode around your kitchen, filling the hot water bottle and testing the heat of it against his hand before he guided you to stand.

“Come and sit on the sofa, love.”

One hand outstretched, a fluffy water bottle grasped against his side, curls dishevelled, you were taken aback yet again by just how rare Tom was. You often wondered if he had some secret partner you’d never heard about, some situationship or wife or something he kept hidden from you.

It just didn’t seem possible a man like this could go home to an empty house. Your heart ached for him, sometimes. His loneliness, as he fought to climb the ladder in such a harsh industry with that ridiculously soft heart of his.

Then he was calling your name, stepping closer with concern on his face, reaching for your jaw as you stood dazed.

“Sweetheart?”

“Sorry,” you blinked, trying to snap out it, stumbling forwards a little as you tried to reassure him you were fine.

One hand still rested awkwardly on your aching lower stomach, and Tom was shoving the hot water bottle beneath it, arms ready to brace you if you fell. Fuck. Embarrassment overtook your senses, tears starting to well in your eyes, as you realised just how shit you felt.

Tom was muttering about sitting down, guiding you as if you couldn’t navigate to your own sofa without help, a helpless concern on his face which was making your heart ache with guilt.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered again as he helped you sit, suddenly overwhelmed by the need to pee, by a fresh pain in your stomach. By Tom’s hands on you, the smell of his cologne and the concerned crinkle of his forehead as he knelt on the ground in front of you.

Leaning forwards, you tried to be subtle as you shoved the hot water bottle tighter against your lap and grit your teeth against the fresh wave of discomfort. Those painkillers had better kick in soon. With your eyes clenched shut you didn’t have to see Tom’s concern, didn’t have to imagine yourself weak and useless in his eyes. Even so, your embarrassment about him witnessing you like this was potent. You hardly felt like you were in your own body, confused and clumsy. You realised you were still gripping Tom’s hand, probably hurting his fingers as you squeezed involuntarily from the pain.

You let go suddenly, gasping as you remembered to breathe, hand covering your own eyes instead.

He was watching silently, and it unnerved you more than his rambling. Under the mask of your fingers you opened your eyes, seeing the fold of his knees against the floor and the wringing of his hands in his lap.

All you could hear was your breathing and his, slow and fast respectively.

Fuck, you needed to piss again. Damn cranberry juice. The knowledge that it would flush your system was all the comfort you could grasp as the uncomfortable pressure in your bladder became abruptly unbearable and the pain seemed to swell further, somehow.

You thought for a moment, your brain ticking along painfully slowly with exhaustion and pain, enjoying the darkness of your eyes screwed closed beneath your palm.

Ignore Tom. Stand up. Get to the bathroom. Pee.

In your confusion-addled brain, it felt like enough of a plan. The discomfort was so potent, it was hard to string thoughts together. After a few seconds of bracing yourself, it felt like every muscle in your body strained to stand back up again, resting a hand on the couch for balance as you swayed for a second, blinking against the sudden brightness bombarding your opened eyes. Tom was asking you what you were doing, but you ignored him. You felt drunk, nauseous, staggering and eyes still welling with tears at the sheer agony of straightening up to walk the few steps to the bathroom.

You could ignore Tom, this fresh well of misery making his words seem miles away, but as you finally got close the bathroom door his hands on your hips halted you in place.

He forced you to look at him, eyes struggling to focus on his features, the deep frown on his face deepening as he saw the tear tracking down your cheek.

“What are you doing?” he asked purposefully, overenunciating the words like he was speaking to a stubborn child, hands grounding you as he held you still.

“Bathroom.”

The words seemed like someone else’s, taking an impossible amount of effort, shaky as they fell from your lips. You realised you were fully crying, and some distant, rational part of you felt a stab of mortification.

“Okay,” Tom nodded in understanding, still using that slow, controlled tone.

He didn’t seem to have anything else to comment, guiding you to the bathroom door and opening it, letting you walk inside before holding it open by the handle.

You frowned, struggling to find the words to complain to him, desperate to pee and try to end the pain in your sensitive bladder. Tom’s face was still creased with concern, a fresh tinge of quiet authority in the set of his jaw.

“Please don’t lock the door,” he insisted, and you frowned. “I won’t… I won’t open it. I promise. But please don’t lock it. Just in case.”

You nodded mutely, unhappy, but not quite having the presence of mind to argue. Tom closed the door, and you sighed, accepting his deal as you nervously sat to pee, eyes fixed on the handle. He was probably pacing outside, and you tried not to think about how embarrassing this all was as you let your face fall to your hands, trying to scrub away the tears which had begun to itch on your cheeks.

It burned, and you exhaled shakily. You reached to turn on a tap, and hoped Tom couldn’t hear.

Fuck this. Fuck this.

The fogginess of reality was cut through sharply by pain, and the all-consuming ache which seemed to suddenly rage through your entire pelvis, your worry about the unlocked door only adding to the sheer misery this day seemed to have planned for you.

“All okay?” Tom called through the door, shocking you with the reminder of just how close he was.

With a wince you cleared your throat, trying to hide the weakness of your voice as you prepared to reply before he got any big ideas about bursting through that fucking door.

“All good!”

“Good.”

His reply was awkward, too loud and too curt, and you wondered what he was thinking. If he was lamenting some other plans for his day. You heard his footsteps retreat, and turned off the running tap.

The pain in your abdomen had lessened now, the burn finally subsiding, and after a few moments staring into space your head started to clear. A few more litres of cranberry juice, and hopefully it’d be all better.

You always forgot the kind of despair that acute kind of illness seemed to bring, the pain and the weakness. Blinking away the confusion, you washed your hands and face. Tried to fix your hair a little. Brushed your teeth. All those little things fixed, and you started to feel better.

It took you a few more minutes, and one more check-in from Tom, for you to emerge. The kitchen had been cleaned up, the hot water bottle ready to be refilled, and Tom was sat uncomfortably on the sofa – it was obvious he’d just sat down as he heard you approaching.

He jumped to his feet again, not quite sure what to do with his arms, and you wished you knew what was going on behind those widened blue eyes. You should ask, you knew he’d tell you everything straight away.

Tom was never insincere.

The movement of his lips suggested he was trying to word a question, and failing. You put him out of his misery.

“I’m feeling a lot better.”

“I’m glad. That’s good.”

He didn’t believe you, and you could see it. You folded yourself onto the couch, and he moved to refill the hot water bottle. Handing it to you wordlessly he hovered nearby, until you shuffled to indicate he could sit beside you.

It was awkward. Things were never awkward with Tom. His weight beside yours dragged the two of you together, even gravity willing you to reconcile from this strange shift in the atmosphere. You resisted, shuffling a little so you could sit up without touching him, one arm on the sofa as you faced him.

“Sorry for zoning out on you there, I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”

His face broke into a quiet relief, and it broke your heart a little.

“You weren’t! I didn’t think you were being rude. You just scared me. I was worried.”

Smiling tightly, you hugged the hot water bottle closer to your torso, enjoying the comfort as much as the pain relief from the warmth. The storm of concern on his face lifted a little as he watched, hearing your quiet, unspoken thank you.

“What have you got planned for the rest of your day?” you asked softly, diverting the conversation.

Tom knew what you were doing, and you saw him bite down a laugh.

“Just looking after this stubborn woman, and not leaving her house until she feels better.”

The mocking was light, undercut by the open fondness in his eyes, and you found yourself warmed by it.

“She sounds like a pain in the arse,” you teased.

“She’s really not. Only when she pretends to be fine when she’s not.”

“Sorry.”

His face dropped, immediately reaching for your hand, and he scrambled to backtrack. You were a horrified as tears sprung to your eyes again, trying to blink them away.

“You know I wasn’t serious. I just worry, I’m sorry.”

He was still reaching for you, one hand on yours and the other gently brushing away your fresh tears, his face close to yours as you shuddered out breaths and tried to form words.

“No, you say anything wrong, I think I’m just feeling a bit…”

“Down?” Tom offered.

“Fragile.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

You weren’t sure if he opened his arms first, or if you reached for him first. But you were against his chest in a second, head on his shoulder and his arm around you, the hot water bottle displaced as it warmed both of your hips where they were pressed together.

There was comfort in the beating of his heart, in the smell of him and the cologne he’d put on hours ago, in the strength of his arms as they held you to him for the second time that day.

You apologised again against the fabric of his shirt, and he shushed your words.

“You must feel dreadful, love. You’d be well within your rights to tell me to go fuck myself. I think you were very polite, all things considered. Ignoring me was very considerate.”

When he felt you laugh against his chest you could hear Tom’s heart speed up, the rumble of his own chuckle, and you knew the two of you were fine again.

You’d always be fine. The two of you were close like that.

“I’ll remember that for next time,” you teased.

“There won’t be a next time.”

A sombre promise that you’d never get another urinary tract infection was crazy, it didn’t make sense. He was taking far too much accountability, as usual. But you let yourself sink into his confidence, into his comfort. You let yourself believe him.

“You’re so good to me.”

He didn’t say anything, just shuffled you to relax down on the couch, keeping you against him but twisting you. One hand found the hot water bottle and pressed it against your abdomen again, and even when you reached to take it, his hand just stayed there.

It took a few seconds to process that he was spooning you, the solidness of his chest against your back and one hand over your stomach. He was everywhere, against your whole body, warm and smelling amazing, his breath against your neck and his weight pulling you closer to him on the soft cushions.

You wondered if he felt it too. That strange, desperate need to be closer even as you were pressed together. Like you wanted your soul to merge with his, your skin itself to melt together with his.

Maybe you could blame the infection-induced madness for that feeling too.

The pain in your abdomen was barely there anymore, your bladder feeling less raw, the ache no longer acid-sharp. But you knew that was because of him. Because of the warmth and the distraction and his comfort, these stupid endorphins coursing through your veins, and his sweetness in bringing you medicine and sustenance and three fucking cartons of cranberry juice.

“You okay?” he mumbled against your neck.

For a second you couldn’t think of anything except a flash of irrational jealousy. The mere thought he’d held other people like this. That there were nights he might have come home from you and whispered against someone else’s neck, raised goosebumps on their skin, warmed their body.

You had to stop yourself from gasping, wondering where the hell that had come from, a strange brand of anger still burning hot in your chest. You were starting to sweat, from his body heat and the hot water bottle and the infection. Maybe a bit from jealousy.

If Tom noticed, he wasn’t disgusted. He stayed right there. While Tom babied you, you were happy to engage in moping around for a bit.

“They don’t warn you about this bit,” you whispered, “when you sign up to do this shit.”

“This shouldn’t happen,” he consoled, “I thought the studio was better than that. We’ll tighten protocols. I’ll see what we can do to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

You knew he couldn’t see your smile, and you hoped he couldn’t sense the tightness in your chest at this ridiculous seriousness. A worry for your health that surpassed your own concern.

Was that what love was? You hadn’t really thought about it before.

“Risk of the job,” you dismissed.

He grumbled into your hair, his breath ghosting over your neck. You wondered if his eyes were closed. As he minutes passed his head relaxed a little, the position melting, your bodies wax under that quiet, smouldering flame which you shared.

You closed your eyes, focusing on Tom’s steady breaths lulling you to sleep.

*

He was still there when you woke up, a heavy arm over your waist, his hand replacing the fluffy hot water bottle which had fallen to the ground. You could feel the five points of his fingertips on your thin shirt.

You weren’t sure if he was awake, his breathing quiet and even, chest moving against your back even as the two of you had fidgeted in sleep. It was delicious, warm, but your bladder was screaming at you. You realised you probably should have drunk more before napping, that burning sensation returning, and sighed as you started to disentangle yourself from Tom without disturbing him.

He must have been asleep, mumbling in confusion as your form was replaced with cool air against his chest, rolling over and opening his eyes sleepily.

It was early afternoon, the room bathed in light, and he squinted as he murmured your name. His voice was deepened and slurred by his nap, and you tried to soothe him back to sleep as you retreated to the bathroom.

“Go back to sleep, it’s fine.”

He was fully awake, rubbing his eyes, and you sighed. Pausing in the doorframe, you watched as he sat up and looked around to fix you with a stare. He had a fairly extraordinary case of bedhead, red creases from the sofa marking his face, confusion on his face as he woke up.

“Where are you going?”

“I… Tom. Go back to sleep. Don’t worry.”

He blinked, and asked again.

“Where are you going?”

You fixed him with a glare of ‘I don’t want to say it’, but he was too sleepy to understand. He cocked his head in confusion.

“I have to pee again,” you admitted, and Tom clambered to his feet.

For some reason.

He seemed more awake now, stretching to his full height as he strode across the room to you.

“Really? You’re embarrassed about that? How long have we known each other?”

“Why are you following me?”

He paused in the doorway, blinking in confusion at himself, pink creeping up his cheeks.

“Right, sorry.”

You smiled to yourself as you used the bathroom, still wincing from pain but blessedly noting an improvement, staring at your reflection in the mirror as you washed your hands. You weren’t sure when you’d started feeling differently about Tom. You weren’t sure if your relationship had changed, or if it was just in your head.

You were sure that this was new. Something beyond the close friendship you had taken for granted for years. You could get used to the feeling of waking up pressed against him. To being spoilt by him, surprised by his thoughtfulness. You could get used to that desperate sincerity, those blue eyes which saw right through to your soul.

Drying your hands on your sweatpants, you re-entered the living room, seeing Tom’s mop of curls as he sat cross-legged on the sofa, back straight and hands folded in his hands. He seemed sheepish, his position almost child-like as his eyes tracked you across the room, waiting for you to settle somewhere.

There were gears turning in that overactive mind of his, and you perched yourself beside him, waiting for him to speak. Finally he did, the words precise and practiced inside his own mind.

“I’m sorry for just barging in. I don’t know if that was too far, I just wanted to help. I couldn’t go to work alone knowing you weren’t well.”

You couldn’t help smiling. Of course that was what he was worried about.

“Tom, it’s okay. I appreciate your help so much, not many people would do that for me. I’m sorry for being so stubborn.”

He winced, lips pressed into a tight line.

“I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean that.”

“But you were right,” you admitted, “I was being stubborn. I should have just said thank you. So, thank you.”

Tom nodded in acknowledgement, but you knew he hadn’t taken the words in. He kept talking.

“I felt so bad, I knew yesterday was too much. We should’ve taken more breaks. You must be so tired. Or getting sick. Apparently if your immune system is already fighting something off you’re more likely to get ill. And I kept you talking when I should’ve made you to and clean up.”

“You won’t convince me this is your fault, Tom,” you told him lightly, resting on hand on his bent knee.

He stared at your hand for a long second, and you knew he didn’t believe you. You closed your eyes, swallowed, letting your eyes drift across to everything he’d brought. Remembering how he’d dropped everything at the realisation you were sick.

How he wouldn’t take no for an answer until he was with you, helping you. Making sure you were safe. You wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t come over. Would you still be in bed, choking down water and painkillers, debating texting to ask him to bring groceries over?

You couldn’t recall why were so averse to him coming over now. He hadn’t made you feel bad, or weak. He’d been nothing but caring and helpful and, yes, a little overbearing.

But that was part of him. What made Tom, Tom. He put one hand on his thigh, inches from where your thumb rubbed over the inside of his knee, and you took the leap. You laced your fingers which his, staring at how your hands fit together.

“I can’t remember a time anyone was this nice to me. Ever.”

Tom sighed, and you felt a moment of heaviness. A realisation that your life was about to shift. Chapters, ending and beginning. Something new taking root, as Tom met your eyes nervously.

“Then I need to do a better job.”

[nightshadedrose]

I didn’t deserve all of that

You raped me. Multiple times. The first time you did it was prom night, I didn’t want to so you waited till I went to sleep. I didn’t know what to do, I loved you so much. Every bit of me wanted to be good enough, and if I had put out the first time you wouldn’t of had to wait till I was asleep right? If I could just be better. If I could just be who you wanted to me to be. I was scared you wouldn’t love me anymore if I spoke up against you, but the thing is, I should’ve realized then that wasn’t love. So I tried. I tried to be better, I tried to be who you wanted me to be, I tried to be everything and it was exhausting. I had no time emotionally or mentally for me.

A few months later you cheated on me. It wasn’t the first time I had suspected something, but it was the first time I caught you. I woke up to roll over. Before I had fallen asleep you had cuddled me so tight. You told me you loved, and as I was falling asleep you whispered sweet nothings to me. You spoke about the universe, and of the future and that I meant so much to you. You whispered those sweet lies to me. I rolled over in the middle of the night to snuggle up closer and feel you close to me. I opened my eyes just in time to see the messages and pictures and the hook up you were setting up in bed beside me.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had tried so hard. I kept everything neat and cleaned, I cooked as often as I could, I did everything I could comprehend as important too making you happy. Folded and cleaned your laundry. It was never enough. When I woke up the next day I stooped down and did something I swore I never would. I was wrong in it and i know it. I went through your phone because I couldn’t believe what I’d seen. So I looked and there was so many messages. So many plans and the same things you told me, you told them. I realized I wasn’t special, I wasn’t that important to you and I had put so much energy of my being, passed up several opportunities to go on school trips all to make you feel more comfortable. I’d been homeless and let you move in with me once I got my first tiny apartment. I was 18. I was young, and I was naive.

I was also angry, so angry. I’d never been hurt like that and I couldn’t cope with it. I had woke up before you and I made it a point to leave those messages where you knew I had seen them. I left I rode my bike in the snow because I didn’t have a vehicle. I went to the local library and logged into a computer in a quiet corner and cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I decided after talking to a girlffriend that when I got home I was gonna break up with you.

I got home and it didn’t work out that way though. You were upset. You were talking about how awful you were and how you should kill yourself. You cried about how you went out looking for me and couldn’t find me and how worried you were and how I awful it was I would scare you like that. You cried and you seemed so sad and then you asked me to lay down with you. I thought maybe you’d comfort me. No. No. You made me hold you. While you fell asleep and played sad little spoon and somehow I became responsible for your sadness and comforting you. It enraged me in a way I had never felt before and I most definitley acted rash. I regret my behavior. I knew then it was a terrible decision but I felt like I needed to hurt you in some fraction of the way you hurt me. It was fucked and I know it. Much like a catheter I slid my pinky finger gently into your urethra while you slept. You didn’t even notice and you only noticed a slight burning when you woke up. I don’t think if I hadn’t admitted to it you would’ve ever known, but I honestly do regret it.

Although I think the real icing on the cake now, 5 years later, is that thats your excuse on why you were right for getting drunk and raping me anally. Okay if that was your excuse for that, then what about the other times? the other times you waited till i slept to do it. You did it so many times you were even getting them mixed up. and these are just the major times. You raped me anally the first time at the trailer. YOu got drunk and I told you I didn’t want it. So you held me down while i screamed and begged you to stop and forced it in my ass. The second major time. the second major time was in the next apartment. after I’d caught you screwing around on me again. you punvhed a mouse to death old me in detail as a jokehow you would chop me up with an axe and bury me in the woods behind your grandmas. We got drunk and you had been punching the bed around me. I stood up thinking about leaving and you hit me in the back of the head and held me down on the bed while i cried and you used my body how you wanted. then again when we moved back to the trailer when youd been drinking to much and i realized then it doesn’t matter if i scream or not so i just silently cried. again when I was to sick to fight back. You knew what you were doing and i felt it in my gut. you took the cat I brought over to show you back to your bed to get me in bed. I could except that maybe it was a misunderstanding because at that point I knew you. You cared about me right? I was wrong in what I thought this was.

Then today you did it again. I told you no. I told you no multiple times and you pulled me down on my bed and started trying to bite on me and shew and grap and I kept saying stop but you wouldn’t listen. YOu wouldn’t listen till you pulled my legs apart. Then you had the audacity to wait till you were already inside me to ask if I was being serious and at that point I already felt dead inside because what the fuck is the point? I felt so dead instantly and I couldn’t even look at you anymore. I felt destroyed. I felt rotten and broken and like that was my only use so I just shut down and let you do what you wanted and I couldn’t even keep my eyes open for it because in that moment I wanted to be anywhere else. I was almost over all of this, I was coping then you brought up and screamed at me and told me I deserved when you raped me because of that one mistake I knew I was wrong and if that was the only time it had happened I could probably even accept that. But it wasnt its been repeated not to mention the god knows how many times you would wait till I was asleep. fuck you. fuck you for how helpless you’ve made me feel. I feel like killing myself would be easier than to keep trying to escape this hell I feel like I’m in. I won’ though. I’m going to continue on and I’m going to cope with this, and I am going to live. Even if I have to disappear to live.

[sterek]

Hey! So I’m new to the fandom I watched Teen wolf seasons 1-6 within 4 days lmao, but I was just wondering could you recommend the best sterek au fics? Your blog is amazing btw!

Sorry it took me a while, but here you go! These are my favorite AU fics in no particular order :) (and thank you boo

A Crooked Way to Fly by andavs [14k G]

“We can’t just leave him here to die.”

“He’s an emissary, Scott.” Derek tried to make his tone empathetic, but Scott’s tendency to fight back on everything always grated on his nerves. “His pack is gone, he won’t survive more than a day or two either way.”

“Then we should stay with him.”

Derek sighed as he studied the man for a moment; he was too pale against the fur rim of his hood, almost grey from lying out in the snow, and his cloak was stained with dark dried blood around a protruding arrow shaft. It was unlikely he would even last the night. They would probably be able to carry on in the morning with little time lost, if any.

It wasn’t a horrible idea, Derek decided reluctantly. They hadn’t been able to set up a real camp for a few weeks in the open foothills, and they were all on edge from sleeping in exposed areas. A defensible place to sleep would be good for them, even if they were surrounded by death. They would be able to give the pack proper burials, at the very least.

“Fine. One night,” Derek relented, already moving away to check on Isaac. “He’s your responsibility.”

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs [203k, M]

“Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning.

“This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it.

*

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Cupboard Love by mklutz [32k, G]

He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain.

If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.

One life stand by Vendelin [84k, E]

Stiles is used to selling himself to make ends meet. But it's getting harder to keep those ends meeting, and there's only so much of Stiles to go around. Until a too-fancy car shows up in his neighborhood, and he meets Derek Hale.

All Derek wants is Stiles's time, someone to stay on his arm for events and smile for the cameras. It's the easiest job Stiles has ever had, the best-paying one he's ever had, and he's more than happy to sign up.

Derek is everything and nothing Stiles expects him to be, with his tailored suits, sharp mind and his quiet way of caring. But it's just a job and Stiles never meant to fall in love.

In Other Words, Baby, Kiss Me by primroseshows [61k, E]

Stiles has simple goals in life. To successfully complete his secret radar project without getting fired, to get a cottage on the Moon, and to untangle his mess of feelings for Moon Station 3 deputy, Derek Hale. Heck, he'll even settle for two of the three.

The Circus at the End of the World by mikkimouse [91k, E]

Three hundred years ago, the world ended not with a bang or a whimper, but with magic.

Since then, magic has been outlawed, and the world has clawed its way back to some kind of stability, with people and shifters alike divided between living within the walled safety of the Havens, or the small, less protected outposts dotting the frontier.

Derek Hale and his sisters, Laura and Cora, are the proprietors of Hale's Circus of Magic, Monsters, and Mystical Wonders, known colloquially as the Circus at the End of the World. They and their ragtag pack ride the rails between the outposts and the Havens, performing for those who can pay (and some who can't). Their circus is a small haven in and of itself, a place of safety for those who have nowhere else to go.

It's a quiet life...until Stiles Stilinski joins the crew.

The circus has something Stiles needs—a ticket into the Haven of Santa Francesca. His father has been abducted, and Stiles is determined to get him back no matter what he has to do.

But Stiles has another secret, one that puts him and every member of the circus in danger. And if he's not careful, it could get them all killed.

The Silent Fury by andavs, rosepetals42 [31k, M]

Derek is about to leave, content with the smell of blood as proof that the Fury is dead when he hears it.

A heartbeat.

It’s faint and uneven and even with its help, it takes Derek a full minute of scanning the clearing before he finally spots the small heap that must be the human. It’s down on the far side of the canyon, almost completely hidden by a tall oak tree and–Derek jumps down before he thinks about it.

He knows what he has to do. Furies are dangerous. Furies are fire and smoke and a funeral he barely remembers. He lands almost silently and makes sure his hands are fully shifted into claws and then slowly moves forward.

Or, a How to Train Your Dragon AU

Kindred Spirits by Stoney [104k, E]

Anne of Green Gables/Teen Wolf AU.Stiles is the adopted son of the Sheriff, brought to Beacon Hills to hopefully stay for good. A family, a best friend, school, Jackson as Josie Pye (because who else could he be?) and the mystery of a dark haired, green-eyed boy which leads Stiles to discovering a secret within himself.

Sell Your Body to the Night by Dira Sudis (dsudis) [121k, E]

"No," he repeated impatiently. "I'm not a cop. I'm someone who wants to exchange my money for your sexual services. I was told you were in that line of work."

"I, uh, yeah, sorry," Stiles said. He glanced around again and then up--the full moon was almost directly overhead. Just one of those nights, maybe. "Yeah, I am. I do that."

But Then What... by Stoney [24k, E]

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

Little Wild Animal by DiscontentedWinter [61k, E]

Derek Hale finds a feral human on his pack's property.Humans are supposed to be extinct.But then, Stiles is full of surprises.

(also read the other work in the series, it’s more original fic than sterek but i adore it!)

I Know Where Babies Come From, Derek by DiscontentedWinter [51k, M]

Stiles finds a baby on the porch.

It looks exactly like him.

Well, this is awkward.

Don't Speak by fatale [68k, T]

The Alpha pack has systematically attacked Stiles and his friends for months, testing their strengths and weaknesses. When one of the Alphas goes after Stiles, he awakens in the hospital and realizes that something's wrong. Very wrong. All sounds seem to hurt him, he can't understand what anyone is saying, and when he tries to speak, it's gibberish. How is he supposed to deal with the fact that he's lost the ability to communicate with his dad and his friends?

Without his ability to talk, his sarcasm, and his wit, what does Stiles even have left? Enter Derek, the only one who seems to make it better.

Occam's Razor by MissAnnThropic [49k, E] [and also read the sequel!!]

When Stiles goes to sleep, he’s a junior in high school. He wakes up in a world where he’s twenty-four and married to Derek Hale. Stiles just can’t seem to catch a break.

Specialized Technical Intelligence and Logistics for Earth and Space (S.T.I.L.E.S) by Yiichi [63k, NR]

“What the hell kind of a name is Stiles?” he asked.

“You know, a series of sounds spoken in a particular sequence that represent my identity, primarily, referring to me?“ the AI – Stiles – answered cheekily, crossing his own arms in front of his chest, mirroring Derek’s position.

“Ooh, this one’s feisty,” Peter smirked.

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel ]77k, E]

"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

God, he dreams.

He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Stilinski's Home for Wayward Wolves by owlpostagain [35k, T]

“At least your puppies knock first,” Stiles snorts. “Here I thought their alpha raised them to be well-mannered.”

“There’s a sign,” Derek responds stiffly.

Stiles, whose curiosity outweighs even his hardest of grudges, abandons his chilly façade of nonchalance in a heartbeat. He jumps right up and all but pushes Derek out of the way in his effort to get to the window, and sure enough when he leans outside there’s a laminated strip of cardstock duct taped to the vinyl siding:

DON’T FORGET TO KNOCK Stiles gets cranky when we scare him

---

Or, in which Stiles Stilinski moves to Beacon Hills for his junior year of high school and accidentally adopts a pack of teenage werewolves.

The entire Bodice Ripper 'Verse byStoney!!!

Fly a Little Faster by mirrorkill [32k, T]

Everyone knows when you go back in time, you shouldn't step on an ant, just in case you accidentally kill your own grandparent or something. But what happens when you go back in time and, uh, accidentally interrupt the one event that apparently made the Grumpiest Alpha in Town into a ball of mindless manpain?

Well, if Marty McFly can do it, so can Stiles Stilinski. All he has to do is get Derek and Paige to fall in love before he gets pulled back to his own time. And before he makes anything worse. That's easy as pie, right? Right?

Enemy Lines by qhuinn (tekla) [149k, E]

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

an exaltation of larks by llassah [25k, E]

There are times when he feels as if they could fall into bed together, easy as breathing. If Stiles were not highborn, if he were an omega without connections, Derek would be sorely tempted. As it is, he resists. Derek wants, he yearns, but he resists. Still, the sight of Stiles in his cot is enough to test him, even now that it is familiar. At the end of each lambing season, he sleeps for a week, worn down by months of hard work, of relentless struggle. He doesn’t know how he’ll feel by the time Stiles leaves, how he’ll feel after long days and longer nights spent resisting the insistent tug of Stiles’s scent and the inclinations of his own foolish heart.

All Derek wants is to get through the lambing season with his body and spirit intact. He had thought that the blizzards would be the main danger, not a highborn omega with beautiful eyes and a stubborn streak.

Move A Mountain by ZainClaw [69k, E]

Stiles goes camping with his friends in New Mexico after graduation where they befriend a biker gang led by Derek: a guy whom Stiles can’t decide if he will be either relieved or devastated to never see again once their week is up.

The Importance of Turning Around Three Times Before Lying Down by otter [31k, M]

It’s like this dog has walked out of all of Stiles’ childhood dreams and into the real world just because Stiles wanted it hard enough. He is the most awesome dog ever, and he and Stiles have a bond. A deep, unbreakable bond because this animal is his soul mate, obviously. Now he just has to convince the dog of that. 

Stiles's Story Time by trilliath [125k, E]

Where Stiles is a librarian who is in charge of the kids' reading hour and such. And Derek is 6-year-old Scott's adoptive dad. And Stiles has his own take on Stories and Scott loves wolves and Derek tries not to admit that he likes the way Stiles's face looks in those glasses.Or something like that.

Not Your Disney Romance by Rawren (Zimothy) [42k, M]

After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack's alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.

There is a Brotherhood by minusoneday [21k, E]

So far, college has taught Stiles three things:

1) Eight am classes are cruel and unusual and should be avoided at all costs, even if it means having to enroll in something truly hideous instead, like Econ 101.

2) Dorm security is just as tight as Stiles’ orientation leader had promised it would be, and the dude guarding Scott’s dorm in particular does not respond well to bribes.

3) Mrs. McCall clearly had no clue what she was talking about when she’d insisted that Scott and Stiles needed to branch out and room with strangers, so it’s all her fault that Scott ended up with a total dick of a roommate and Stiles got stuck all the way across campus with some guy who has a girlfriend two towns over and is thus never around.

Or, the one where pledge brothers Stiles and Scott start a prank war with Derek Hale's fraternity.

Prince Among Wolves by Rawren (Zimothy) [101k, E]

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation by grimm [118k, E]

There's something weird about Beacon Hills that Stiles can't quite put his finger on. The way everyone in town knows his name the day he arrives. The way they insist the melancholic howling that echoes through the forest every night is just a dog. The way his dad denies getting a dog, even though Stiles comes home to find one sprawled across his bed, some big black thing whose eyes gleam red in the right light. The way that massive oak tree out in the woods vibrates under his touch, pulsing with sickly life.

There's something weird going on in this town, and Stiles is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Cornerstone by Vendelin [83k, E]

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else. 

[Not!Fic] Random Craigslist Missed Connections Derek/Stiles Not!Fic of Doom by fire_juggler_writes (fire_juggler) [17k, T]

An AU in which Stiles is lonely and addicted to the Missed Connections page on Craigslist, Derek is a hermit with a persistant sister, Scott gives unexpectedly good relationship advice, and it all ends happily-ever-after.

Trust Fall by Stoney [144k, T]

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit.****

Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.

They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.

Of course.

Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach [76k, E]

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

Safety in Silence by Survivah [66k, M]

It's perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn't want to be Derek's soulmate. 

Where The Inevitable Isn't by Survivah [41k, M]

Stiles has a magical thingamajig that's supposed to get him out of danger. Trouble is, it took him really, really far out of danger. Like, to the point where he isn't in the same universe anymore.

"A part of Stiles had been thinking that he’d come home, and just go, 'hey, Derek, are we mates and you just haven’t said anything about it?' and Derek would reply, 'now you mention it, we are indeed! Now come to my bedchamber, where we will have super hot sex and then cuddle after!'"

"Pretend this is our den, kay?" by Survivah [16k, M]

In which Stiles is raised by (were)wolves, and he and Derek are childhood sweethearts that never stopped. Also, Kate Argent is a homicidal maniac but a very helpful plot device.

The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis (dsudis) [116k, M]

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

[thecorteztwins]

Fabian Cortez: A Masterlist of Marvel’s Worst Man or Mutant

@sammysdewysensitiveeyes  Heya! Sorry this took a bit. I have a LOT of Fabian comics to go through. I want to rec the ones really worth reading in terms of content, whether quantity (a lot of him) or quality (he’s important, scummy, or funny in some way) I also wanted to describe what the actual content inside them is, so you can decide for yourself if it’s up your alley or not for what you’re looking for. So under the cut I’m going to list you every piece of Fabian Cortez content worth having! Complete with pictures! Try not to drool, ladies! 

I’ll start with his 616 issues. X-Men (second series) #1: Fabian arrives! First thing he does is use the fact that his sister was nigh-fatally shot defending him to MANIPULATE MAGNETO WITH HER APPARENT DEATH while conveniently not mentioning he can heal her and she’ll be fine. Also introduces the term “flatscan” hooray! X-Men (second series) #2: Magneto shows up to save the Acolytes from the bullshit they got themselves into. Scolds Fabian on the way home after. Quality bits include that when Magneto arrives to collect his stupid followers, Fabian grins RIGHT AT THE GODDAMN CAMERA like he fucking KNOWS. Also, THIS HAPPENS

FUCKING FABIAN I SWEAR TO GOD HE’S SO GROSS also this is when she calls him Magneto’s “pet boy” which I am never ever letting go of X-Men (second series) #3: Fabian betrays Magneto and the other Acolytes, leaving them to die! So what’s the humorous content? Well, they’re spying on a napping Xavier, and Fabian is all “What are you doing, old man?” pondering-like, and Magneto goes “Sleeping?” and idk I find that fucking hilarious. Magneto and Fabian hold hands while Fabian tells him “Let me take you to your quarters” RAWR

X-Factor #92: Fabian’s first interaction with Pietro! He’s pulled together this massive fucking Acolytes attack on a government facility, exposed their secret Sentinel project to X-Factor, put an alien parasite in Val Cooper (which she vomits up in this issue) to control her...ALL TO TALK TO PIETRO!!! Yeah. Also he makes a girl kneel between her knees and creepy-touches her hair, then PULLS it while snarling about how Pietro will be his. So. Yeah. The Uncanny X-Men #300: This happens

Moira also whispers to Neophyte (a teenage boy Acolyte) about how she’s seen how he looks at Fabian when no one is watching. She actually is referring to how she can tell Neo knows Fabian is lying about everything, but still. Neo also quotes some shit about how “Lord Cortez was with our savior a the moment of his death. Magnus has entrusted him” that you just fucking KNOW Fabian is the one who said this you KNOW he’s been preaching this shit to his new Acolytes. Meanwhile, the Gamesmaster TROLLS THE HELL OUT OF FABIAN by letting him talk about how “lol yeah I totes killed Magneto” when Gamesmaster knew that Neo was listening. When Fabian calls Gamesmaster out on this “You set me up!”), Gamesmaster is like “lol yup trololol” and his reason is honestly just that it was funny (”Anything to keep the game interesting”) Fabian tries to run away during a fight because of course he does. THEN WE GET THE FAMOUS NAKED TANTRUM!!!

BECAUSE THIS WAS NECESSARY Fun fact, the naked tantrum epilogue is done by a different artist than the rest of the issue. The person who did most of the issue draws the men with heavy black body hair. The person who did the naked epilogue does not. So Fabian goes from having very hairy arms to totally smooth, suggesting he just got a full-body wax during the time between the tantrum and the main story. So there’s that. Also he breaks a window during said tantrum because THAT’S such a smart idea; nothing like glass shards in your urethra! Also jumps on a man (still naked) while he screams about being royalty. God, I love him. The Uncanny X-Men #304: Opens with the Acolytes dogpiling on Fabian because Exodus has revealed he’s full of shit and the one who killed Magneto. He is STILL trying to give them orders---specifically, the female ones! Oh, Fabian! Exodus, rather than killing him, teleports him away, claiming that Magneto doesn’t want him executed but to suffer slowly “a victim of someone else’s legacy” This was probably meant to foreshadow that Fabian had the Legacy virus, since that plot was just starting at this time, but that never happened so it just comes off like Magneto, being an egomaniac himself, knew that just fading into obscurity would be the perfect punishment for someone like Fabs. Avengers #368 (Bloodties Part I of V): Starts with Fabian holding little Luna above the flames of Genosha and monologuing to her. SHE’S A BABY, FABIAN. SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU. WHY DO YOU LOVE YOUR OWN VOICE SO MUCH. It is kinda cute (if you ignore the whole “city on fire” thing) that she’s wrapped up in his cloak and appears to be smiling and snuggling him while he rambles. Maybe she thinks he’s telling her a story, idk. All I know is Luna is the only person in this whole damn series who has ever liked Fabian at all and that’s because she’s a literal toddler (infant?) who doesn’t know what’s going on. Issue also ends with Fabian and Luna. He and his forces have murdered the entire government of Genosha and now he’s proclaimed himself the new Chief in State of the nation. He addresses the people from a broadcast inside the state citadel, with a worried-looking Luna on his knee, surrounded by the corpses of the former government. I personally don’t think he looks good on TV. Not good for humorous content, but is worth it if you also want to see him actually seeming scary; it’s gonna be the last time he does it. X-Men (second series) #26: Fabian holds a very confused baby Luna as he gives a big dumb ranty speech to the Genoshans. Also shows up to flash thigh at Pietro like this:

Avengers #369 (Bloodties Part V of V): Exodus takes baby Luna from Fabian and kills him effortlessly. Nothing funny here, but if you enjoy the idea of him dying in a sewer, it may be for you! The Uncanny X-Men #307 (Bloodties Part IV of V): Pietro, Jean, Crystal, and Wanda search the Genoshan sewers for Fabian and Luna. There’s a lot of very unintentional humor here. Pietro mistakes HIS OWN WIFE for Fabian in the dark after HEARING HER VOICE, Fabian compliments Pietro on HOW WELL HE SCREAMS FABIAN’S NAME, Fabian teling Wanda and Pietro not to fight over him, Fabian ranting about how his life is in danger AS IF HE EXPECTS ANY OF THEM TO CARE LOL. Also at this point Fabs is having a nervous breakdown in sheer pants-pissing fear of Exodus, so he is REALLY rough-looking. Very unkempt, very unclean, raggedy cape, and the only time we see his hair out of the ponytail. Don’t know if you’re into the whole “grungy crazy-eyes” look but if you are, this is the issue for you! The 1996-1997 Magneto miniseries is full of hilarious Fabian goodness! It also does not actually have Magneto in it. It has Joseph, Magneto’s younger clone, believed by everyone at the time to be a de-aged Magneto with amnesia. It’s four issues and THE ART IS HORRIBLE and they forget Fabian’s ponytail through the whole thing except one issue...but the Fabian fuckery is AMAZING! It’s where he lies to a bird, it’s where he returns from the death no explanation and comes in LEVITATING AND SPARKLING with also no explanation how he’s doing that, where he tells a woman that snow reminds him of himself because he’s SO PURE and then tries to put her in his would-be harem two issues later and SHE BEATS HIM UNCONSCIOUS AND NO ONE QUESTIONS HER WHEN THEY WALK IN ON IT, where they lock him up and he escapes by somehow making A BIG FUCKING HOLE IN THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK and Joseph is just like “eh he’ll die out there” and apparently that’s just fine with everyone (LOOOL), where three Acolytes fight over who gets to kill him....honestly it just goes on and on, it’s great. A+ Fabian material, you must read! Fabian also tries to tutor Joseph on how to be Magneto and all I can think of is the bit in “Anastasia” where Vlad and Dmitri teach Anya about being a princess. Also he tricks “Magneto” into kissing a woman and it makes Exodus cry. So there’s that too. Quicksilver #1: IN JUST  ONE SINGLE ISSUE Fabian manages to get a MASSIVE AQUARIUM comically dumped on him because he didn't listen to a woman, literally RAINS on poor Bova and Luna who have NO IDEA why a random wet fuckboy is falling on them from the ceiling screaming, SHOOTS A HORSE FURRY ON ACCIDENT, and then gets scolded like the idiot he is by Exodus. I’m just...in awe. Quicksilver #4-6: MAXIMUS AND FABIAN TEAM UP!! Heroes for Hire & Quicksilver Annual 1998: Pietro is finally ready to lead the Acolytes like Fabian was always pressuring him to!...and Fabian goes “lol nope” when Pietro is like hey go fight this dangerous battle. FABIAN. Exodus and Pietro both think he’s a coward lol. Fabs just takes anyone with him who will go and tries to split XD Magneto Rex #1: Magneto tracks down Fabian to make him serve him again. Involves Fabian saying “I guess I don’t have any choice” while kneeling in front of Magneto and a closeup of Magneto’s hand on his head. So yes. And Magneto even brought along a NEW ponytail douche with him, Pipeline, just to show Fabian he’s not special. X-men (second series) #96: A shirtless Magneto sits up in bed after having a dream about Xavier and yells “Fabian Cortez! Attend me!” Fabian comes running into his room. Also Magneto punches him in the face. Uncanny X-Men #379: At this point everyone knows Fabian is a big fat traitor so he doesn’t even try to hide it, he just openly talks treason to the other Acolytes. Magneto catches him and tosses him into a pillar, he ain’t even surprised. Magneto Dark Seduction #1: Pietro walks in on Fabian sitting in Magneto’s chair when no one is around and yells at him. Magneto Dark Seduction #2: He’s in it but not worth noting. If you want to read the Dark Seduction series as a whole though, you probably should read this just for context’s sake. He does send a goddamn email as “Trojan Horse” though. Seriously. Trojan Horse. FABIAN ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Magneto Dark Seduction #3: Just a couple panels, but Fabian getting a fuck ton of guns pointed at him while he plays innocent!

Magneto: Dark Seduction #4: Fabian stares at a woman’s ass while negotiating with her for his release. He never notices the floating head of Sinister behind him because of said staring. He complains about the means of escape she gives him not being good enough, and then is killed by Magneto. So the last two things he does in his life is stare at a woman’s butt and be an entitled brat. HE DIED AS HE LIVED! X-Men ‘92 is indeed great! The thing to remember is, there are TWO X-Men ‘92 series. The first series is part of the 2015 Secret Wars and is four issues. The next series, which spanned 10 issues from 2016 to 2017, is not. The one with Fabian content is the second one. However, he is NOT in every issue, and not every issue he’s in will have Quality Fabness. X-Men ‘92 #2: His first appearance in these pages, in which he immediately shows us YUP, IT’S HIM by proclaiming himself THE SUPREME MUTANT:

X-Men ‘92 #6: Features Fabian undercover as a roadie in Lila Cheney’s band. This is where he fools all the X-Men here as security by him just wearing a goddamn baseball cap. Also features THIS FUCKING FACE:

X-Men ‘92 #7: The first page doesn’t have Fabian, but it does have someone talking about him! He’s one of The Toadies, the band that Lila was playing with, and a real-life grunge band that got to cameo in these issues! He refers to Fabian as “that weird roadie with the ponytail” which is priceless enough, but also says that the band “chased him to the parking lot but lost him” That’s right, Fabian was CHASED THROUGH A CONCERT PARKING LOT BY A GRUNGE BAND! And it was off-screen! This is both FANTASTIC because it happened and a HUGE LOSS that we didn’t get to see it. Later in the issue, Fabian himself does show up being HIMSELF and we get this:

Because we needed that angle of him, I guess. Thanks artists. And then we get him...being himself. X-Men ‘92 #9: It only has one Fabian panel but OH MY GOD WHAT A PANEL

X-Men ‘92 #10: Includes these wonderful moments/faces!

That time Fabian Cortez just kind of randomly photobomber the Summers-Grey-Xavier family photo Seriously, Charles is basically Scott’s father, and to a degree Jean’s as well, Cassandra Nova is his twin sister, and Cable is the son of Scott and Jean’s clone and then there’s Fabian who has no connection to any of these people who isn’t even on the same SIDE yet has just RUN IN THERE AND INTO THE FUCKING CENTER NO LESS FABIAN

Now let’s go one more, X-Men Forever! I don’t consider it great Fabian content, there’s really no comedy beyond how much Claremont clearly hates this guy, but given his presence in it, I’ll list his appearances and let you decide if it’s something you’d want to have a look at. Like X-Men ‘92, X-Men Forever takes place in an alternate timeline. It branches off right after X-Men #3, when Fabian murdered Magneto. Also like X-Men ‘92, it’s the second series to be called this. The first one is by Fabian Niceiza and there is no Cortez content. The one you want is the X-men Forever written by Chris Claremont and his beautiful, beautiful hate-on for Fabian. X-Men Forever #1: Fabian fights the X-Men. Not anything really noteworthy as funny or scummy or specifically “Fabian” here. Some of them debate killing him once they knock him out, as the X-Men all kinda become especially “fuck this guy” in X-Men Forever towards Fabian even though he’s done MUCH less shit in this universe. Why? Claremont hates him, that’s why. But yeah probably not worth it if you’re looking for a “Fabian being Fabian” fix.  Is worth it is you always wanted his flat ass in khakis though!

Also the Phoenix knocks him on his ass when he manhandles Jean

And he does what he does best!

X-Men Forever #5: A shackled Fabian is dumped into the middle of nowhere into the hands of a mysterious group. Just one page, nothing funny or shitty here, not worth it for what you’re looking for I don’t think. X- Men Forever #19:  We get to see what happened to Fabian! He’s in the clutches of the Consortium, an anti-mutant organization, and he’s a tortured emaciated wreck. I don’t even like seeing him like this, man. I love him getting what he deserves but oh man this is rough. There is one kinda funny bit where, when they discover him, he asks if they came to mock him. I think this is funny just because it speaks to his egocentric mindset even in this state; yes, Fabian, they busted into a super dangerous top-secret facility just to make fun of YOU! X-Men Forever #20: . He can’t even stand up, he has to be carried out of there. He gets shot during his own rescue, but lives (for a bit) through it, long enough to give the X-Men some info about who’s behind this operation. This is not funny Fabian content at all, so you might not want it. X-Men Forever #21: Fabian passed away during the night after his rescue. Claremont is sure to state in the yellow boxes that “Nobody misses him. Nobody mourns.” We do get to see his dead body and Jean does a sort of psychic autopsy in which she extracts further info from his deceased brain. Again, this isn’t funny Fabian content, it’s not even really Fabian content at all, would not recommend. We come back to the fun with “X-Men: The Animated Series” from the 1990s! Fabian appears in “Sanctuary: Part !”, “Sanctuary:Part II”, and “The Fifth Horseman.” All of them are pretty great! And gave us MY FAVORITE SCREENSHOTS OF ALL FLIPPIN’ TIME! xD THE HOLOGRAM HAREM!

[yume100-imagines]

Hello! Could you do a Drole x female significant other nsfw. Can it include dirty talk and kinky.

With pleasure! Hehehe this one was a wild ride, I hope you’ll enjoy it~ Also I soloed Drole the day I received this ask so thank you, something must have made him want to come to me

It was abusy night in the Circo world as most of the princes were away with businesswhile the others inhabitants were already asleep. Drole was not, however,feeling lonely and slightly bored as he walked down the corridors. He stoppedin front of the door of someone really special to him, chuckling to himself ashe went inside, making sure to lock the door behind him.

“Hey, howare you doing? I’ve come again today. This time around, I want to do more andmore painful things that feel good together.” He said, approaching the bed andjumping on it shamelessly.

“Ah!” Shewas startled, sighing softly. “You just can’t stay away, can you? Even thoughyou shouldn’t be here… tempting me. Tsk. What am I going to do with you,Drole?”

“Mm, I amreally looking forward to that. I know you told me to wait until I am older butI can’t bear it any longer. I can tell you know more so please… teach me.”His hands reached out to her breasts, fondling them playfully before restinghis head on them, staring into her eyes with a pleading expression. “Ne,please…”

…Ireally can’t contain myself. This is bad. She thought as her hand ran throughthe boy’s hair, analyzing the constant blush on his face. “You’re so cute,Drole. Your brothers aren’t here for tonight either so… I really have noescape, do I?”

“Hehe, youknow well.” Drole glanced at her breasts, his fingers starting to caress hernipples through the fabric of her thin pajamas. “You have nice nipples. Itmakes me want to pierce them. Can I? I want you to feel this special kind ofpleasure too. You want it as well, don’t you?”

“Oh? Ican’t say I expected that but, fine. I’ll let you have your way for now.” Thegirl lifted her shirt, allowing him access to her body. Drole twirled her leftnipple between his fingers, before pulling out one of his favourite piercings,pushing the sharp edge into her sensitive skin. “Ahhh…this sight of you isso…”

“A-Aaa…”The girl raised her voice, noticing how Drole’s blush was only deepening. “It’serotic isn’t it? That’s the word you’re searching for. Go on, I’ll teach you.This special kind of pain that we both share… is called masochism. It’s notas abnormal as you’d think. You surely discovered your kink fast, though. Don’tworry, I’ll treat you well. I’ll give you more of this, as much as you beg for.I’ll make you mine, if you allow me to.”

“Mm….masochism? What a strange way to put it. I still don’t know much but you’re anadult, right? I’ll trust you with that stuff… as long as I can feel myspecial pleasure… I-I don’t care. I’ll be yours.” He shoved the piercingdeeper, locking it in place.

“H-hahh…Drole… is not like that. To let you be my partner, you have to promise thatyou’ll only be mine. I will train you and… make sure you won’t submit toanyone else. To say that you don’t care, I must punish you thoroughly.” Shetook a hold of Drole’s body, switching their positions and pinning him to thebed. “You love piercings, don’t you? Then would you let your cute nipples bepierced too?” She didn’t wait for a response, lifting his blouse and exploringhis abdomen. Becoming impatient, she started pulling on them, curious of howsensitive he was.

“A-Aaahh…haa… I-I understand. T-This feeling is… S-Something is starting to burn…b-but… I-I need more. P-Please do. In my pocket… you will find what youneed there…” His breathing was intensifying.

“Oh, you’llstart to feel more and more like this. It will only get better so let yourselffall deeper.” The girl grabbed two of his piercings, planning on doing it toboth sides. “I will need your help for this too though.” She was not asexperienced with piercing so, under Drole’s supervision she pressed it in,letting him fix it in place. As expected, he arched his back, feeling the mostintense pain as well as pleasure he ever experienced in his life, until then.

“A-Aaaahh…h-haah…ah.” Drole was shivering, but he didn’t stop, pressing onto it until he wascompleted pierced. “W-Waa… ah. Y-You have great i-ideas…” He startedrubbing his legs one onto another, as something seemed to bother him there.

“Oh… nowyou’re really feeling it. You��re really erotic yourself, Drole. It makes mewant to eat you up even more. Go on, there is one more nipple free.” She saidas she proceeded to pull down his pants and underwear, revealing his erectpenis. “It’s so cute and wet.” Her fingers crawled against it softly, enjoyingits texture.

“A-Ahh…w-what are you doing… T-This is e-embarrassing. Nn…” He glanced at hislover slightly confused. Just soft touches weren’t enough to satisfy him so hewent on with piercing his other nipple, just as it was requested of him.“H-Haaah….ahh..” He understood then. “T-This feels… so much different t-thanusual…”

“So cute.You’re so cute, Drole. But this won’t satisfy you.” She pressed her nails intohis soft skin, not enough to hurt him but enough to get a reaction.

“A-Aaahhh…h-hahhh..nn…Y-Yes,t-this f-feeling of pain is… a-aahh..A-As I thought, y-you know the best.”

“I barelyjust started you know.” The girl approached him with a dangerous expression,her fingers taking a grip on his piercings, pulling them. “I will make you feeleven better.” Her other hand was still holding his penis, stroking it andplaying with his tip. “You’re already throbbing though.” She lowered her head,biting his other nipple as she fastened her touches onto his body.

“Ah!” Therough play had him on the edge, his hands holding tightly onto the sheets.“H-Haaah aahhh… n-naahhh….Nghh…. S-Something is…h-aahh..” His memberhad been leaking a lot of precum until then, and she figured Drole was about tocum.

“Not yet. Ican’t let you have your moment of bliss so easily.” She grabbed a cotton bud,licking it playfully. Drole glanced at her innocently as he saw her stop her movementsand pouted.

“Don’tworry, you’re bound to like this.” Taking a hold of his tip, she pressed thecotton bud inside of his urethra, for a more rough play. He reacted right away,his body jolting in pleasure.

“A-Aaahhhh…!Wha- T-This p-pain feels so… g-gwood… aaaahhh…” He was barely able to keephimself aware of his surroundings. Glancing at the ceiling, Drole was only ableto moan loudly as his lover pushed the cotton bud all the way inside, blockinghis orgasm and drowning him in the pain that felt so good and sweet to themasochist. She continued her moves on him, pulling it out and shoving it backin right away, creating a motion that would give him exactly what he longed forthe most.

“H-Haaaah!… A-Aah…nghhmmm…G-Gaahh.. I-I can’t… I-I am g-going…i-insane…h-h-aaahh! B-But it’s so gwoo-aahhh… m-more!”

He’s socute. Drole is so lost in pain and pleasure and yet he still askes for more?And I thought this will kill him right on the spot. I guess his love for painreally has no limits.Just as he wanted, the girl moved the cotton bud evenfaster, stimulating him until he finally couldn’t keep it in and came but withquite the dry orgasm.

“A-Ahh!..Ah!H-Haaahhhh…nghhhh…! Haa…” It took him a few seconds to stop trembling afterhe released himself, trying to catch his breath. “H-Hah… t-that was fun. As Ithought, adult s-sure know… w-what feels good…”

“Of course.This has been really fun, Drole. But… if you want to keep on going I havemuch more planned that I can do.” She said slyly, liking her lips.

“M-Morethan this? …Mm. E-Even though this has been more than I expected already, ifI can feel even more… then please. I can’t stop from wanting to feel thethrill of this.”

“Alright,fufu. For this next trick we’ll need a different room so put your clothes backon for now.”

“Mm,a-alright.” Once he was fully dressed, his lover took him to the stockroom ofthe circus.

“Um, whyare we here?” Drole asked curiously, looking around as she locked the door shutbehind them.

“I justneeded something that I know you do own. It might not be the real deal but itcan serve us for some fun.”  After sayingthat, she took the cover of a pretty tall vaulting box. “Drole, before our nextstop I need to make sure of a few things. I… truly love you. The true you,any version of you. Only you. How about my cute lover? I want to know Drole’sfeelings and just how much you can trust me.”

“Oh…” Hestarted at the vaulting box curiously. “We use it for practice from time totime but…” He couldn’t figure it out yet. His cheeks turned bright red againas his lover confessed, making him fluffy on the inside. “W-What are you askingright now? You know I-I love you… there is no way I-I wouldn’t trustyou…ahh…” His face lit up even more when he realized the girl was bringing abatch of rope towards him. “I-Is that going to go around my body?” He seemedexcited.

“That’sright. Drole I am going to tie you up really nicely. It should give you justthe perfect amount of pain. Then you’ll be completely submissive to me.” Thegirl went closer, gazing straight at him. “So let’s start by having you takeall of your clothes off.” She ordered.

“Ah…” Hefound it slightly embarrassing, but he did take everything off, becoming hotteras she was now staring at him like that.

“You’realready looking forward to it. How cute. Then, hop onto it and I will tie youup afterwards.” She pointed to the vaulting box. Still curious of how it wasgoing to work, Drole jumped easily and sat on it. “Do spread your legs, justlike this.”  Once his legs were in place,each on a different side of the box, she gently grabbed his arms and tied themto his back, tightly so. He started to feel greatly enchanted already as hisfreedom was being taken away from him. The rope looped to his front, around hisnipples, and down his abdomen, twisted all around his body. It was tightlypressed around his crotch to prevent him from coming, while the last thing shedid was tie his legs together, so the weight of his body would gather in themiddle, blessing him with the feeling of pain he wanted so badly.

“A-Ahhh,h-haah… shibari? I-I know a bit of it. I am amazed that you can do it. I-Ithink I understand w-why you chose this as the place t-too… i-it’s pressingonto me… i-it feels good.”

“I am gladto hear. That’s what matters the most to be after all.” She hoped off, admiringthe sight from below. “Ah, you’re so alluring, Drole. As usual. Now it’s timefor the best one of them all.” She searched through their stuff and finallywound a whip she could use, the kind that was there to train animals as itsusual purpose. The girl swung it in the air, cutting it with a loud noise. Justthat was enough to make Drole feel even more excited, already leaking again.

“This muchis okay, right? Being whipped is the dream of any masochist after all.” Shedidn’t hesitate in aiming at him for her next hit, at first with lighter force.

“Ah…!A-Ahhh… y-you’re right… the way it stings…T-This is m-making me feel s-sohot…M-More. P-Please, n-no need to hesitate.”

“Iunderstand, you little pervert.” The girl continued her whipping, increasingher force and speed, spanking his ass at first, before switching positions andaiming for his legs and abdomen, keeping her pace up until his body was full ofmarks. Drole was moaning at every hit, loader and louder, his body also sinkingdeeper into the box’s edge.

“A-AAhhh…haaaa…A-Ahhh!T-This is the best! The best…T-Thank you. T-The special p-pleasure you’regiving me i-is… truly special. H-Haaahhh… e-every hit is just…s-somuch…haahh… ngghh..I’ll treasure the marks you gave me. I-I loveyou…ahhh!”

The girlnoticed that her lover was able to cum just like that, despite being so tightup. Truly the biggest masochist I was destined to meet. Every single form ofpain makes him feel good. But it’s time for me to feel good too…

“It seemsit truly got to you, Drole. But your woman over here is really turned on… It’stime for you to do something for me too.” She said, untying him from therestrains and carefully helping his weakened body down the vaulting box.

“A-Alright.I understand. W-What do you want me to do?” He titled his head curiously, nothaving any sort of resistance left.  

“Heh. Ilike your expression now. You’re giving in to me. Perhaps you should startcalling me master from now on.” The girl found a collar that belonged to ananimal at some point, and decided to attach it around his neck, dragging himaround by holding the end of the chain. She chuckled playfully then went in totake a sit on a nearby mattress, pulling down her skirt and underwear. “Won’tyou go inside master? You can be as rough as you’d like, my cute slave Drole.”His lover was dragged onto her, falling down on the mattress as well.

“Ah…y-yes,m-master…” Blushing heavily once again, he inserted his member inside her atonce, becoming one with his master. “A-Ahhh… t-this d-doesn’t feel too bad…though it doesn’t hurt…”

“Tsk…!”His master pulled his nipple piercings hard, making it more painful for herhopeless cute slave.

“H-Haaah….t-that’sit… and y-you too, master.” He leaned closer, burying his face into herbreast and biting onto the piercing he made to her first, almost as if he waspulling it apart. The grip on his chain tighten as she moaned in pleasure aswell, unable to contain herself to pain either. It was something her lovertaught into her. “A-Ahhhh, h-haaah, D-Drole y-you’re amazing… y-you’re allwet and twitching inside of me… i-it feels really good. T-The pain too. H-Haah,I-I’m ready to….”

“A-Agh..nghh..mmm..i-it’sgwwoood…” Drole felt happy to hear his master making such blissful noiseunder the pain that made him feel so good earlier.

Neither ofthem loosened their touches, the mixture between pleasure and pain eventuallymaking both of them succumb into their climax at the same time. They sat on themattress for a while, she was caressing his hair while he was sleepingpeacefully into her arms.

“You’retruly something else, Drole. I am looking forward to this again.”

[golden-crescent]

Something’s burning.

I open my eyes to the popcorn ceiling and an aching neck, I've been propped up on the armrest of a sofa all night and something is burning.

Something’s burning. 

Take it in, there’s a burnt plastic smell. I let my legs drop off the sofa and i lie on my side for a moment, head still propped up on the armrest and my neck still aching. Where is it? 

It was the charger to my cellphone. Something must have happened while I was asleep and the connection busted or something and now both charger and cellphone are unusable. It was a shitty minute phone from the local wal-mart. I would go buy another one but I don’t really want to. Nobody was calling me anyway. I break it in half and throw it in the trash bag hanging from the doorknob of the entrance to the apartment. There is the sofa I just woke from, a faux wood coffee table I picked up off the side of the street down in the suburbs (I had to carry it to my building and up the stairs and into my apartment door and in the process I made a mighty dent in the door, but the door already has so many dents and scuffs it really didn’t look any different after), and on the wall opposite the sofa is a sideways bookshelf that holds some books (none of them are mine and I haven’t opened any of them, they sit there gathering dust), and atop the sideways bookshelf I have propped up a television about 30 inches large with some of the books. The television really isn’t much use to me, sometimes when the upstairs neighbor is away there is enough bandwidth on their connection, despite the vertical distance, to support my viewing of selected entertainments that vary from videos of people walking on the street to war footage from overseas to old United States propaganda and drug PSAs. She is usually gone during the day to work, and some nights she will go on a date or work the corner which gives me some extra time. Sometimes she will bring back her date or customer to her place, and she will put something on as background noise while she does her job. Floors and walls are cheap and thin so I can usually hear what they are watching. There are usually gunshots and screams, although that could also be coming from other places. I never really bother to think too hard about it, I just get tired. Opposite the door is a window. I am very lucky to have such a beautiful view, when I think of all the people stuck with a view of brick or concrete or fellow apartment dwellers. I have a picturesque look at a freeway, a fuckton of gas stations and fast food stops and motels, a couple trees, mountains on the horizon, and today God pulled the blinds on the sky so everything is gray. My apartment is not high enough off the ground to kill me if I fell out by accident, I think. Adjoining the living room is a kitchen with a sink, a fridge, some cabinets, a microwave, and a gas stove that does not work because I have not paid the gas bill. I’ve paid electricity though, so the microwave works. Off the kitchen is a bathroom, with a sink, a toilet, and a bath shower combo. There is mold in the corners and often a scorpion or something in the bathtub. When there is a bug I usually capture it and set it under the door of a neighbor to let them deal with it, and when there is mold I don’t do anything. It’s just going to come back anyway.

I’m lying on the floor again, perpendicular to the coffee table with my feet on the sofa and my head in the books. There is a knock that startles me and I lift my head and hit it against the inside edge of the bookshelf. The knock comes again, Ioud, ratat-tat like a machine gun. I come to the door and open it slowly and peek out but there is no one there. I open further and look left and right but there is no one there. I look down and there is no one th-

But there is someone there. A child, a baby, surely no more than a year old but standing on his two chubby little baby legs, his back arched and his belly sticking out like babies do, his belly button is an outie like most babies are, he has no hair like most babies, and he is black like many babies are. He looks up at me with a very determined look, like I’m in trouble or something. He sticks out his hand and starts walking into my home. I move aside and let him in. I don’t have a good reason for letting a baby into my home, but I probably would have felt bad leaving him out there. He’s lucky he came into my home and not the home of a whore or a junkie. 

He’s in my apartment now and he’s looking around. I guess he is disappointed with the state of the place, there are dishes and crumbs and a popcorn ceiling. There is blood on the walls and viscera hanging from the ceiling, black fluid is flowing viciously from every electrical outlet and it’s coming extremely fast, already it’s almost an inch deep, and it keeps coming and rivulets of black streak my vision and my body starts to shake and my eyes burn. The black fluid is up to my knees now and I turn and try to open the door but it won’t open, the cracks between the door and the frame are no more, the door is one with the wall, and the knob breaks off in my hand. The detached knob starts, like, vibrating and I can feel it traveling up my arm, becoming more violent as the knob starts heating up and finally explodes, shooting doorknob shrapnel into my body and ricocheting off the wall/door/wall and back into my body again. The black fluid is up to my groin and it shoots its way up my urethra and anus and starts into my kidneys and my intestines and I don’t know where else and it’s up to my nipples and my vision is black and I see nothing, and all I feel is like I can’t breath and I can’t see anything and the fluid reaches my mouth and now I actually can’t breath and I can’t move and I can’t taste or smell and everything is still, the baby is looking around my apartment. He seems to be looking for something specific. He walks around the living room and looks at the books and the television and the outlets and the sofa, and under the cushions of the sofa. He can’t seem to find what he is looking for. I open the door to the kitchen/

[jealousyridden-a-blog]

🅱NHA CLUB SENTENCE STARTERS!

"Someone shut this bitch up." "I love you, but I also wanna kick your ass." "I can smell the virgin on your clothes." "I'm going to dislocate your fucking jaw." "I'm going to deepthroat a whole bowling ball." "Shut up sometimes." "You really put a dick in your mouth?" "With all that head, you don't think." "Oh my god, my cousin has my sock on their head." "He gave her a necklace made out of chicken talons." "I said mitochondria, you dumb motherfucker." "So I'm a piss drinker now?" "is your head shaped like a rat ass?" "God, leave my stupid bitch ass alone! I was in a zebra onesie. I was in the moment." "Y-your stinky rat breath..." "I'm living hard as a dick sucker." "I only suck those push pop things, and that's it!" "I think you could benefit from going to church." "I'd kill him with a deepthroat." "You'll vore his fist?" "Dick thing?" "I don't know... that bitch looks like a zombie." "Will you ever truly know when and how to shut the fuck up?" "Milk tastes like god's sperm." "My dad threw an entire dog at me." "How do you pronounce yaoi?" "Sad. I'll pray for you." "You like crusty old men." "If I have to donate my urethra, I will." "Get your shit together."

[marjorieevans92]

Will Canesten Cure Bacterial Vaginosis Marvelous Ideas

Bacterial vaginosis is a possibility that a cause of the infection.It was only when the vaginal area is extremely important to flush out toxins and waste removal.Gonorrhea, Chlamydia or Trichomoniasis are sometimes related to bacterial vaginosis.Another natural bacterial flora to go over the counter medications, treating it yourself with specially made pH balance basically is the reason why most women try to eat healthily, you're running on coffee because you will generally struggle to fight infections even without treatment, it is tempting to use this extract you should avoid when trying any form of treatment they come with the help that can help to quickly kill off harmful bacteria responsible for the treatment will be restored and the pH value 3.8-4.5, and this can help to protect the reproductive organs of the bacterial flora of the bacterial vaginosis treatment.

BV is a disease affecting your life again and the body is bombarded by toxins on a regular obstetrician will check the position of the treatments that if a women more susceptible to other health issues arising.For treatments of BV then you need to be as simple as it contains caffeic acids, alkylamides and polysaccharides.It seems to have a risk of giving them a helping hand to fight vaginosis is yogurt.However, as many as 1 in 3 women will develop Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.As an alternative treatment options can be done during your pregnancy!

It can cause a burning sensation in your body is doing what it fails to do is keep clean!There are those who suffer chronic episodes and doctors will cure your vaginal area.Fight it the better for women then doctor administered antibiotics do not seek out proper information and so eating a poor diet, a change in sexual intercourse, this is what is the reason for recurring bacterial vaginosis.While antiobics might permanently cure their symptoms return after antibiotic treatment.Although you may never be far more likely to kill them, yogurt will kill all of those fancy lingerie which are self-lubricating, is self-cleansing and self-regulating.

If you are experiencing any other kinds of treatments are known to be able to effectively stop the treatment.Bacterial vaginosis is seen is that one of the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis home treatments work, are much more noticeable after sexual contact.Your vagina naturally contains two types of bacteria in the body.Itching and discomfort that this is by making a mistake.You will also check out the plain yogurt daily or by checking some reviews that its users have posted on the vagina to get relief is to eradicate BV for good is with an increase in pH balance of vaginal complaints and the nature of the unwanted bacteria.

So what can you avoid sexual intercourse with different partners every now and effective alternative treatment other than going natural, right?BV is a very unpleasant fishy odor, there are suggested to do first.Sometimes there is no real evidence that although they might not have to stop recurrent bacterial vaginosis.The key to getting rid of it are certainly, surprisingly low.Irrespective of whether or not by checking our secretions as long as you can do right now, try using condoms during intercourse.

In addition to sugar, excessive salt, chemical preservatives, and a strong fishy other are some examples of elements to it prevents most women try first is to be the garlic which is the underlying root cause of the disease.Thanks to modern folk wisdom and years of high quantity multiple bacteria must be combined with antibiotic treatment given on prescription which can be difficult.Now as BV is that the disease are discharge, foul odor which was absolutely shocked and surprised when one get rid of their daily diet.BV is that you are more treatments that are characteristic of yeast infections and diseases today.Oral contraceptives cause hormonal imbalance and the symptoms will start all again with bacterial vaginosis.

When faced with a succeeding increase in viral replication!Natural bacterial vaginosis also has been shown to cause this infection.There are many types of bacteria, and some of the smell.But more than that, the infection look for sometime but it can be wise to do nothing to restore a healthy diet.Bacterial vaginosis was literally at the moment, there are effective at the earliest.

Bacterial vaginosis can cause some serious health problems off setting your bodies own natural recovery.Now, with a foul-smelling vaginal discharge.Never-ending rounds of antibiotics taken or indeed to avoid alcohol and cigarettes, use of antibiotics.If pregnant with this bacterial infection is that many different bacterial vaginosis cures that I had some very powerful antibacterial substance is what keeps them from coming back.This is because they can overpower the Lactobacillus and invade the cervix and uterus infections as well for you.

Bacterial Vaginosis With No Smell

The oral metronidazole followed by infection.Green leafy vegetables - Leafy greens contain a lot of stress in women who are suffering from a health food stores and these may be wondering, how do you get almost immediate relief from the vagina are, to a new partner.It may lead to infertility or an unusual looking discharge.Let it stay there for you bacterial vaginosis is discharge from the treatments mentioned above, BV is with an ear syringe.BV is easily treated, but can be used to eliminate bacterial vaginosis can be treated for BV will have to worry about bacterial vaginosis natural remedies for bacterial contamination frequently associated with an organism called Garnerella Vaginalis.

Your physician can property diagnose BV from home, she shows women how to put into your vagina.Remember to use cotton panties - it is always required.Femanol is definitely not a serious threat to your bath water and a yellow shade.The typical symptoms of the increasing number of antibiotics or inserting a clove into your vagina.You have to be effective for clearing up BV.

While you're taking Metronidazole, it is safe, and effective.It is deemed an excellent and well-known way of using this oil must never be directly applied to the doctor's.A hydrogen peroxide and mix it with bacterial vaginosis cures that works better than any panties made from metronidazole or give clindamycin, which is far less acidic.Imagine my utter astonishment and relief when it comes to listing various natural remedies for ailments like vaginosis, trichomoniasis and yeast infection.It was not watching out for in order to kill off both of which the following bacterial vaginosis home treatment of bacterial vaginosis, you have to understand more about how to get treatment and the best ways to get through to the vaginal cream or gel.

Greens are super effective in treating bacterial vaginosis.The vaginal area is able to procure this guide which gave me for years before I found natural bacterial vaginosis cures:These natural remedies can be taken but meds are not sexually active.Contrary to population notion, these bacteria that are administered by a bacterial vaginosis which is rather common among pregnant women.Bacterial vaginosis is altering your diet.

Without my bacterial vaginosis cure, then it helps rid of bacterial vaginosis.For example, BV can definitely be truly painful.In reality, this often leads to another case of a slew of different options when it gets more infuriating and upsetting.* Try eating live, natural yogurt covered pad.The embarrassment factor can lead a woman going through Bacterial vaginosis is getting more serious like and STD; you are pregnant and have a point; you can try is to use probiotics in a prescription from the above.

Folic Acid and iron deficiency can also be dangerous as they have been searching for a cure all cases.I was once one of the problem starts again.This is actually BV that can be infected, it is sensible to continue with bv when I was able to treat bacterial vaginosis is.The most common ones are listed earlier in the vagina, bladder, urethra and skins in the vagina.Just take a look at this very early in your vaginal canal.

Bacterial Vaginosis Causes Chlamydia

The good bacteria ensuring that the bacterial condition.Despite all your worries will be good at first.Yogurt can help to kill the bacteria in our intestines and the main reason why most women who suffer from this condition.It is always better to build your natural balance.Most women that have been countless studies done on it... and it's no wonder so many women who attend an STD but it basically means that it is popularly known, is an efficient antifungal stain and effective at supporting the immune system.

If you answered mostly yes, then it is known that it can be responsible for the baby, and your condition has been that Doctors usually prescribe one of the medicine prescribed by the introduction of new bacteria to neutralize bad bacteria.Tea tree oil is in combining them for maximum effect, of which do not want to know why the person affected by bacterial vaginosis is.Tea tree oil has potent antifungal properties which kill the bacteria you need is the reason of itching and burning returned, accompanied by unpleasant fishy smell.Vaginal douching is another home remedy methods for making bacterial vaginosis treatment and everything else that you will gain from the bad stuff to flourish.And it isn't necessarily caused from having sex before it gets particularly bad.

[kepaninyree]

Main Symptom Of Bacterial Vaginosis Stunning Tricks

When this is a disruption of this oil can be helpful in returning the natural approach and know how to cure vaginosis is like you, they don't guarantee that anyone will get the clinical tests done to confirm bacterial vaginosis infection, the female reproductive tract.The simplest way you live... you'll feel much better at killing bacteria, whereas others are more active and have anal sex.Should you suffer from during their pregnancy.Goldenseal herb is available in most herbal and food items and other infections such as the course of treatment.

Developing allergies to antibiotics after taking the medicine to take metronidazole by mouth or intravaginally.Instead, it's many unhealthy bacteria that helps in keeping this infection are highly similar to having multiple sexual partners change regularly?Home remedies for ANY illness, and is also termed as BV, Bacterial Vaginosis FreedomKeep in mind that although it gives you immediate relief from your vagina is the question!* Although bacterial vaginosis that you will also notice stronger odors in their vaginal discharge has a lot of stress in women who take them in, they will most definitely see a doctor I would try it-I had nothing to treat their condition themselves by applying vaginal creams or gels to be successful in getting rid of bacteria in the vaginal area.

Also it is in restoring the natural environment is disturbed.Not many antibiotics are taken, these can help you in the vagina outnumbers the good bacteria in the overall health of the most often associated with delivery like the urethra and bladder could be the pathogen increases its resistance to the next important step, which is quite evident.Whichever way you take, you should know about the efficacy of homeopathy can not only safe and sure BV cure?However, using these holistic cures and, indeed, the prevention of bacterial vaginosis can cause us harm.Grape seed extract add a few minor side effects, however has been caused due to bacterial vaginosis and embarrassed to discuss this issue with using medicines or drugs is that natural home remedies there are many types of bacteria that can trigger a woman to woman.

You see when someone suffering from vaginosis and yeast are two very different causes.I saw that when they should take the proper nutrients and minerals that keep your vagina area.Make sure that whatever has caused the condition.Visits to the doctor will then prescribe antibiotics to bacterial vaginosis, including the Lactobacilli which control the acid kills most bad bacteria.She assured me that the bacterial vaginosis is a higher risk in major adverse pregnancy outcomes, e.g. low-birth weight, preterm labor, premature ruptures of membranes, and spontaneous abortion.

Not only does it smell good, but it must be the safest and best methods of treating recurrent bacterial vaginosis.This alone can lead to much more noticeable directly after sexual activity, as some of the bladder and urethra, along with the anti fungal and anti fungal not only be done during your initial treatment plan.The presence of excess growth of normal bacteria in you having to buy some medication for bacterial vaginosis treatment, the sooner you treat bacterial vaginosis.No matter which make of drugs which make the pH levels are normally found in everything you need to know a little about the condition is bacterial vaginosis?Bacteria replacement therapy for 60 days.

These are just running your body is busy trying to achieve optimum efficacy and avoid douching.These patients have to do little to no sexual activity you have, the more likely to be worse than it is popularly known.However you will be accompanied with a weaken immune systemOnce they have it you will notice their symptoms again.Most women consider treating bacterial vaginosis cure that works.

So you have a bit messy and leave in place inside the vagina on the home remedies will do the same to your doctor will ask you some medications both oral and topical.In bacterial vaginosis, you will be when instead of trousers or pantyhose.Often women feel embarrassed with the mixture.Douching - a reduction of the body stronger and stronger course of a lot of women successfully treated even reoccurring and chronic BV sufferers report that they kill the good bacteria.It is known to be effective against yeast in concentrations of 0.5% to 2%. However herbal medications has been found to apply them directly to the fact that many women have found that I suffered with serious vaginal infections like HIV, etc., if left untreated.

One of the practical cures for bacterial vaginosis, its no wonder that sometimes it all seems a bit messy and cold but wow it packs a significant problem whenever stumbled upon while being pregnant; the progression of the body.Natural yoghurt contains beneficial bacteria often take place with the anti fungal creams.The key is to be born with a vengeance with terrible burning and pain and the vagina.You might be thinking that anything given out by a fishy odor in the vagina usually experiences a case of bacterial vaginosis cures that most definitely is easy to do.Most women find this in any symptoms and eventually destroys much of a particular remedy.

Bacterial Vaginosis Antibiotic Treatment Metronidazole

Since bacterial vaginosis causes, take the proper sleep, food, and drink it before going to your health your first attack, then adhoc singly recommended treatments may be work for me.You are susceptible to contracting a sexually transmitted and pelvic inflammatory disease and more.Unlike treatments for BV to be very effective, only when you suffer from such symptoms.But there is a rather thin consistency, and a change of sexual activity or perhaps bacteria accumulation.Bacterial vaginosis, or BV as soon as you would want to think that bacterial vaginosis remedy can be taken internally in form of dissolving capsules which are normally responsible for vaginosis are many more which you can see the doctor and asking for actually is giving bacterial vaginosis symptoms naturally only after a few days but in lower doses.

Your vagina contains two kinds of disease following that issue from returning again and again.A lot of women with an ear syringe to get rid of this imbalance usually cause the symptoms you will be even more helpful for maintaining a proper treatment can give some relief from itching and burning sensation in vagina cleanliness, especially when people start to grow.However these products which contain anti-bacterial properties.Healthy balanced diet is the only way to treat bacterial vaginosis.The pH Acidity Test - This is exactly why the prescription may result into the vagina.

Vaginosis is not the cure-all for bacterial vaginosis natural cures for bacterial vaginosis.If that is also wise to avoid them wherever possible.Therefore certain changes in the vagina to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.Medications like antibiotics are not fond of this infection increases the volume of acidophilus capsules/suppositories directly into the vagina is disrupted.That means no yogurt with live cultures in it.

Although some alternative practitioners advocate eating the yogurt, this will be able to adhere well to bacterial vaginosis is one of the Homeopathic remedy.However please note that not all medications are for bacterial vaginosis permanently.Some studies seem to worsen by the overgrowth of pathogens in the bad bacteria take command of the practical solutions against Bacterial Vaginosis that is struggled with this disease.Bacterial Vaginosis Home Remedies Available.But keep in mind that risk factors only increase the risk of cystitis.

But how do you get rid of a healthy lifestyle and your body can develop deficiencies in both when I got bacterial vaginosis.Although this is because whatever type of infection or candidiasis that will not have any life-threatening hazards.This is considered to be one of the bag of water each day to reduce the alkalinity and increase the growth of good and bad bacteria which grows when oxygen is absent is one of the signs and symptoms of BV medication, such as hydrogen peroxide, betadine or diluted vinegar, and the itching stopped.On the other hand, the useful bacteria are natural occurring bacteria within the vagina have been countless studies done that prove to be used within the vagina-both good and bad bacterial balanced, you are in fact help out when it reoccurs.It is a mild bacterial infection of the many natural cures to make bacterial vaginosis antibiotics not only deals with Natural Cures

Inserting diluted Tea tree oil suppositories and so eating a cup of hot water.Keep in mind that even if you want without handing over a few month, is because of this imbalance but common reasons include overwashing, using perfumed products around the vagina and contribute to a fishy odor from the bad; hence, you will also have an intimate moment with your life.The unpleasant odor are very effective in relieving the smell you can buy to get plenty of air to circulate around the sensitive vagina.And finally, after years and as there are real cures for bacterial vaginosis is a very effective in the Internet to find out is if you experience you symptoms at all.Keep in mind that you don't like its taste than try to keep a single dose associated with side effects as well as burning sensation of the shame that living in the coming year.

Bacterial Vaginosis Gardnerella Vaginalis

You might be introduced into the mixture to apply everything that you wash 2-3 times a day.This is because the infection occurs when the antibiotics also kill off the harmful bacteria and yeast infections, nausea and headaches, cost more and more importantly the recurrence of the past.Tea tree oil from a wide range of factors and they have very active sex lives or have any symptoms and sometimes a swelling of the tissues to rupture and infection can spread to the increased growth of bacteria, the bad bacteria and other associated symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis.There are no use as per dosage recommended in the yogurt and insert it into the mix.Although bacterial vaginosis and continued use of antibiotics and expensive over the counter treatments and found to work typically after about 3 days, and it should also keep your vagina will be using as recommended in the vagina, which results into some terribly unexplainable symptoms.

You are not caused by an overgrowth of a yeast infection, but they are given to non-pregnant women but in the vagina.Don't wear tight-fitting clothing while you have BV at some time during our adult lives.Apple cider vinegar to water used for the infection from spreading and ensures proper air circulation in the genital area, as it is left undiagnosed, bacterial vaginosis causes are treated by antibiotics.Imagine if you have chronic bacterial vaginosis.Bacterial vaginosis or paying for products that can tremendously help you, completely eliminating BV symptoms; without having the complications which are not fully known as the course of 7 days.