#also the customers tip so well i can buy myself a little treat every week or every few days

[dontloseyourpants]

Stripped on Stage

A commission I received from @gaystripstories! You can also find him on Twitter here. And you can support him by buying his stories on Amazon here.

I'll out the actual story below the cut. It's about a cocky young Broadway bound hunk who has an embarrassing incident on stage during his big debut. Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!

Before the Show: 

Hey, just wanted to stop by and wish everyone a great show! 

A sea of blank faces stared up at him, but he kept plodding on to get the reaction that he  desired. Walking further into the crowded dressing room, he finally stopped right behind me. 

I miss the camaraderie of being packed down here with everyone… it’s so lonely having  that dressing room upstairs all to myself. I usually just spend time before shows lying on my  couch until first call. 

Looking up, I saw his face forcing itself into what he thought was a genuine smile. For  someone who was apparently a much better actor than our poor little show deserved, he really  had such a hard time hiding his true emotions. 

Roger Stilton had quickly made a name for himself on Broadway. A Julliard grad just  like his rich father, he headed straight to Broadway and began booking any role he wanted. With  leading man good looks, his slicked back dark hair, and a jawline that could cut steel, Roger  actually could have earned his roles without daddy’s donations. 

As I continued looking up at him, I realized two things. First, his blush was much too  heavy for a theater as small as this one. 

Roger, sit down- let me help you out a bit. Quickly standing up in my boxers and  undershirt, I let him plop into my chair before wiping a makeup wipe across that beautiful face.  Here’s a tip when you’re not sure how strong to make your blush- you have to see what it should  be naturally and then add two swipes. 

Quickly taking hold of the bottom of his t-shirt, I ripped it over his head to expose that  chest to the whole room. His perky pecs and six pack abs were to die over, but for some reason,  even with all of that narcissism, he didn’t like showing off his body. 

See- that’s the color you want. 

I saw his eyes connect with his reflection to see the blush covering his cheeks, and I  added a bit of my powder onto his face to match. Grabbing his shirt, he just awkwardly held it in  front of him before walking back out of the room with his parting words flung over his shoulder. 

Well, let me let you get back to getting ready… I just love having a great ensemble behind  me on stage. 

I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. At least not for another week. He’d joined our show  after workshops, and even if I wouldn’t admit it, he was the reason we’d gotten our residency at  our off-Broadway theater. He was already booked for his next role in a few weeks in one of the  larger theaters, but if I had anything to do with it, I wanted to put his name in the news for  another reason. It was time to confirm the second thing that I realized once Roger walked in  here. 

Listen up. Every head turned back towards me this time, but unlike Roger, I could tell  that they wanted to hear what I had to say. I had a couple of decades on all of the younger actors 

around me, and they looked up to me since I’d give them actual advice. We’re a go for tonight.  Raise a hand if you’re in. 

Smiling to myself as I saw every hand quickly raise into the air, I knew that this would be  one show that Roger or the critics in the audience would never forget. I don’t know if Roger  knew that we’d picked up on it, but there was a lot of info that he gave away. He was using us as  a launch pad for some serious acting cred, and we were using him just as much. And for weeks  of workshops and performances, we existed together, but the last month had been different. He’d  starters treating us as disposable ensemble members even if the small cast all had named roles.  So, tonight, on the most important night of his run, we decided to get back at him. Looking up at  the timer on the ceiling above us, I realized that it was almost time for our first phase of the plan. 

Act 1: 

Look at him- if he wasn’t such a huge ass, he could really be the next big thing. Sorry- all I heard you say was huge ass, and I got distracted. 

Playfully slapping Sam on the arm, I kept watching Roger act as we waited for our cue.  Our show was a new take on the classic murder mystery, and each night, Roger dramatically died  on stage. The twist, the reason that we’d made it out of workshops, was that a new killer was  chosen each show. The audience could return night after night and still get a new experience  since we improved a lot and only kept core scenes consistent.  

This was one scene that was always the same, so Roger felt confident enough to ham it up as he looked at the two women in Row 2: The New Yorker and New York Times. They of  course had names, but Roger only knew them as the critics that he needed to impress. And he  truly was acting his ass off… and that was quite a challenge. Those dark gray slacks were barely  

stretched over that ample peach of a bottom, and I was reminded again that I was happy with the  game plan. And as he placed his glass of water back on the table, it was time for round 1.  

Natasha and Joslyn entered from stage left as Sam and I appeared from stage right, and in  a flurry of motion, we began bombarding him with questions.  

Sir, would you like the dinner menu? 

Please. 

Sir, would you like a wine list? 

That’d be delightful. 

Sir, would you like your water glass to be topped off? 

Certainly. 

Bending down, I poured the contents of my pitcher into his glass and across his chest. Oh monsieur, I am so sorry- let’s get you out of those wet clothes immediately. 

Patting him down with the hand towel, Sam walked behind him and began unbuttoning  Roger’s shirt. In utter shock, Roger just sat there staring at the pitcher that I’d laid down in front  of him- the one that looked completely normal. In every other show, a special prop had been  used that only held half a cup of water, but tonight, it looked like I’d grabbed the wrong pitcher  from the props table accidentally.  

There we go- we’ll have this dried and steamed before you even get the dessert menu…  not that it looks like you eat dessert often.  

He tried to cover his exposed chest as we left stage, but the tiny menu couldn’t cover  much. If he pulled it down, he exposed his perky pecs with his dark brown nipples shining under  the harsh lights, and if he pulled it up, you could see the happy trail disappearing into his pants.  As we all stood offstage in one giggling group, we watched the switch flip over in his head. He 

had just made the choice- he could either be embarrassed about being half naked on stage, or he  could continue acting so that the critics would write about how he powered through adverse  conditions. And he chose the second option… at least for now.

Act 2: 

After improving some line about remembering that he had a spare suit in his car, he  quickly walked off stage with his muscular back facing the audience. Once he disappeared into  the curtain, he began quietly yelling for the prop master, but he was nowhere to be found. Also  gone was the random rack of clothes that had been hiding in the wings for decades, so as he  rushed around, Roger only had time to grab someone’s suit coat and walk back on stage. 

Darling! Is it my birthday already? I thought I wouldn’t get my present until tomorrow. 

With her quick change successfully completed unlike her costar, Natasha was in a skin  tight dress and now playing Roger’s girlfriend. Walking circles around him, she began to  massage his tense body, and it seemed to be having an undesired effect on his lower half.  

Can I unwrap my present early?  

I’m so sorry love, but the weirdest thing happened at dinner earlier. I had time to grab a  spot of food before coming here, and then…  

As he began to sit down, the small blazer completely ripped down the middle, and the  ruined fabric fell in two pieces down each arm. Natasha was really hamming it up now as she  jumped up from the prop bed to kneel in front of her blushing boyfriend.  

I was joking before, but what else is about to come off? Did you somehow trade outfits  with a stripper? 

That time in the gym must have really filled out my shoulders.  

Then flex for me, Romeo. Let me see that body that’s all mine.  

Doing as told, Roger stood up and began to flex his muscles as he faced the audience. His  tanned chest seemed to glow under the lights, and I heard the audience getting into it more now.  If there were any repeat customers here, then they knew what normally happened here. Natasha  would have her birthday party, and in the commotion, Roger would meet his demise. But that  always happened fully clothed. 

Roger’s biceps were glistening in sweat, and his trimmed chest hair was as well. He was  breathtakingly gorgeous, and if only he wasn’t so cocky, we would have all adored him. As I saw  that blush spread further across those beautiful cheekbones, I wondered if there was something  more human under there. Just maybe… 

Oh, I just can’t resist anymore- come ravish me!  

With strength that I didn’t know she had, Natasha pulled Roger towards her as they fell  into the throes of passion on top of that bed. The audience was losing it as Natasha’s legs  comically kicked into the air before wrapping around Roger’s ample ass. She was kissing him all  over as Roger tried to break free for his cue. 

Oh honey, that special suit jacket wasn’t the only birthday surprise that I had planned. In  fact…

And this is where everything went so, so right. Roger lunged into a standing position  without even feeling Natasha’s fingers hook into the two small holes that had come undone on  each side of his tearaway pants. I don’t know how he hadn’t noticed earlier that we’d swapped them out before the show, but they’d stayed together right until they were needed.  

In comical slow motion, the back half of his pants fell to the floor as the front stayed  gripped in her hands.  

You got me exactly what I wanted! 

As Natasha jumped to meet him, we all started streaming on stage, holding balloons and  shooting party streamers into the air. The only one that was still was Roger who was somehow so  very, very visible in the middle of all of this chaos. With his pants gone, he was now standing  there in only his shoes, his nylon socks held up with leather garters on those strong calves, and  an impossibly tiny pair of baby blue bikini briefs that were trying their hardest to stretch over his  large frame.  

We all took a cue from the audience and focused on Roger as he stood petrified on stage.  His hands hung limply at his side, too embarrassed to even move them to cover up his impressive  bulge and thick pubes that were showing over the stretched waistband. You could have heard a  pin drop in the eerie quiet before one camera flash went off from the audience followed by  several more. I saw our one underpaid usher try to stop the cameras, but it was too late.  

Finally urged into action as he saw how many photos of him would soon end up online,  Roger finally spun around to try to find his pants, his jacket- just anything to cover himself up  with. Seeing the bed sheet that had been flung into the floor, he reached to grab it, but I was too  quick and stepped onto it to keep him from getting it.  

Standing back up, he had rage in his eyes as he looked at me, and he had no idea that  even more photos were taken now of him. From the back, his tiny briefs had been wedged  between those glorious cheeks, and he was exposing almost every inch of skin that he could.  

It was you- you’re the one that did it! 

He was about five minutes early with that line, but Roger’s embarrassment had finally  taken over his need to impress the critics. That was usually what he said when he discovered who  the killer was right before falling to the ground, but now, he was saying it to me even though  Joslyn was the one who’d dropped the ‘poison’ into his pasta in the previous scene.  

What are you talking about? It’s me- your best friend! 

A best friend wouldn’t do this on the most important night of their life! 

Reaching forward, he grabbed onto my shirt and yanked it apart. Buttons went flying as  my own chest was exposed to the crowd. My mouth was trying to hard not to break into a smirk  behind my trimmed salt and pepper beard as I backed away from Roger. Following me back  under the lights, he just kept going. 

You’ve always been jealous of me- my career, my body, everything! Do you know how  hard I’ve fought for this? Do you?  

He truly believed the words that he was saying even though he’d never had to go to an  open casting call in a crowded building downtown. He’d never had to squeeze into a borrowed  pair of LaDucas and dance for hours just to be told that they’d gone in a different direction. Oh  no, Roger had never felt rejection like that which is what would make what happened next even  sweeter.  

He lunged at me, and we fell in a heap on the floor. The audience, even the return  viewers, probably had no idea that anything had gone wrong. Everything we’d done had been in  character, and only one thing would be able to prove to them that this show had gone off the  rails.  

Roger’s body was gyrating around on top of me, but he never landed a punch. He wasn’t  angry enough for that, but he was too flustered to even know what to do. He couldn’t handle this  humiliation, and he was just lashing out. And then, it all stopped. As we tussled, we both heard  the pop and froze. It could have been anything, but we both knew exactly what it was. 

The Final Bow: 

And the award goes to Roger Stilton! 

The cameras all swung towards him as he tried to duck down into his seat. This is not  how he wanted awards season to go. He had just lost the Best Actor award for his starring role in  Thoroughly Modern Millie, and he was about to go to the bar until he heard his name called  again. Looking up at the big screen, he saw the category that he didn’t even know that he was  nominated for- Best Quick Change.  

With the DramaDesk award in hand, the late-night talk show host who had no business  being here walked on stage. I was sitting on the side in the cheap seats, but I could still see  everything. The last time that I’d seen Roger was when I’d been lying shirtless beneath him. I  watched as he sat motionless in his chair, and he only got up once the screen started playing a  video from that night.  

He was kneeling on top of me, and as we wrestled, the tiny strap on the right side of his bikini briefs popped right off. With his ass aimed right towards the camera, his pendulous cock  fell into view between his legs, and he tried to cover himself unsuccessfully with his hands. As  he moved, the rest of his underwear fell apart and landed on my chest leaving him completely  

naked.  

Standing up, he kept spinning around, turning one way and then the other to hide his  embarrassment. His hands were clasped over his manhood which left that ass completely  exposed. His tight waist made his bubble butt even more impressive, and the untanned skin acted  as a beacon for everyone’s eyes and cameras. I’d watched this scene dozens of times from the  comfort of my own apartment, but as Roger walked on stage to confront the host, I realized that  he probably had tried to forget this ever happened.  

When Audra Macdonald won earlier, she serenaded us with a few bars. Roger, what do  you plan on showing off to this crowd? 

The crowd was going wild, but unlike that fateful night, the crowd was over five times  bigger and full of people that Roger wanted to impress. He tried to put on a fake laugh and grab  the award, but even from this far away, I could see how strong that blush was as the host kept  going.  

No seriously, I think we need you to show it off! What does everyone here think?  

I let my cheer join the crowd as we egged him on, but he still wasn’t budging. And then,  the host looked right at me, and I pinched myself to see if this was all a dream.  

Do we need your old costar to come help out? He knows his way around this stage since  he’s performed here a few times. Come on up! 

The spotlight hit me, and now it was my time to feel a little shy. I’d been a background  dancer here in a few awards show opening numbers, but I’d never been up there individually.  Would my big break come decades later than it should have? 

Stepping on stage, I saw Roger’s heart drop, and my nerves suddenly vanished. He let the  host turn him around, and I realized that he was petrified again.  

Make me change my mind, Roger. Why shouldn’t I expose you again for how you treated  us on that show? 

Tommy, please, don’t do it.  

I could have been nice and joked around with him as we walked offstage to pretend like  this was a planned bit. But, he messed up.  

Roger, you didn’t even learn the names of your costars. My name is David- Tommy  worked the sound board.  

And before he could react, I grabbed onto those tuxedo pants and yanked them to the  ground. The button ripped off easily, and they gave me no resistance before sliding down to his  ankles. He’d learned his lesson from earlier and was wearing a pair of black trunks, but I still had  a little bit of humiliation left to give him. I could and should have stopped there, but I didn’t.  Grabbing onto his waistband, I pulled his undies to the floor and stepped back to let him have the  spotlight all to himself like he desperately wanted.  

His half-naked body was projected onto the big screen again but in real time now. His  ample, untanned ass still jutted out from his athletic body, and as he tried to bend down and grab  his pants, it jiggled with every movement.  

Looking down into the audience, I somehow made eye contact with Jan, the critic that  Roger always referred to as The New Yorker sitting not too far from where I’d been seated. As  she began typing onto her phone, I realized that Roger would get that big headline after all.

[after-witch]

Title: Oh Honey Honey ('Oh Sugar Sugar' Part 2) (Yandere L Lawliet x Reader)

Title: Oh Honey Honey ('Oh Sugar Sugar' Part 2) (Yandere L Lawliet x Reader)

Synopsis: The newest regular to frequent your little pastry shop is a little unusual, but his appreciation of your craft is a welcome distraction from the terrifying suspicion that you may have a stalker.

notes: yandere, stalker behavior

You waved cheerfully at a little boy through the glass window of your store, as his grandfather gently urged him along the street; he was maybe 2 or 3, and had practically shrieked in joy when his grandfather bought him the biggest, cutest looking cupcake you'd had in the display that morning.

With the store empty for the moment, you turned back to your daily specialty case and decided to give it a quick cleaning. A regular, the older gentlemen who'd recently revealed that all the treats were actually for an associate, was due to arrive soon, and he typically bought up most of your special case. You leaned over the front counter, grabbed a rag and a bottle of cleaning solution, and gave the glass a quick spritz. You were humming to yourself when you heard the door bells jingling.

You turned, smile ready, expecting the older gentlemen--and almost flinched in surprise. It was not your regular, but someone new. He had lanky dark hair and wore an unassuming, casual outfit consisting of a white shirt and jeans. 

You swiftly stepped behind the register. “Can I help you today, sir?” 

"Yes, in fact," the man said. "I'm here to give my compliments in person." 

Confusion must have registered on your face, for he continued. "I normally have an associate buy my pastries for me. But I wanted to see your shop for myself, so..."

"Oh!" 

You hadn't meant to say it out loud, but you couldn't help it; nor could you help the more genuine smile that you gave the man who'd bought hundreds of dollars worth of pastries in such a short time period. Baking was your passion--but it was your business, too, and you couldn't help but truly appreciate people who supported that business. "I'm so glad to finally meet you! Thank you for all your business."

You held out your hand jovially, and the man came forward to accept it with a low, firm and slightly awkward handshake. When he pulled away, he glanced at his hand for a moment, before returning his gaze back to you. You couldn't help but hope he was getting enough sleep.

"I should be thanking you," he said. "For all the pastries, I mean."

At that, you beamed. "Well! Let me show you what's in our special case today..."

**

You had a stalker. Well, maybe you had a stalker. You weren't quite sure. All you knew for sure was that something was... off, lately. At first, you attributed it to getting less sleep than normal. With your bakery busier than ever, thanks to your new regular and even a nice business contract supply 2 dozen breakfast muffins every morning, you weren't getting as much sleep. 

So it would only be normal, you thought, to be a little on edge. A little testy. But less sleep didn't account for the odd, creeping feeling that you were being watched, especially at night. You could have swore you heard strange sounds, too... whirring or clicks. Cameras? You didn't know.

Nor did a lack of sleep account for some things that had gone missing from your apartment. A favorite nightgown you liked to sleep in; a favorite mug. the berry-red one you’d gotten two Christmases ago; even, as you discovered one morning, a lingerie set that you'd tried on once and then been too embarrassed to wear again. Still, it was expensive and the thought that someone had taken it--and why someone would take it--made you feel sick.

To say that you were not your usual chipper self for the rest of the morning was an understatement. You did your best to smile for the customers that came in, but even they must have sensed something was wrong; you even got extra tips from a regular, an elderly woman who tut-tutted you and told you that you should consider taking a weekend off.

The thought was tempting, but you knew that with running a small business came sacrifices--including the inability to just "take off." Still, you thought, you could take a little nap. A short one, 25 minutes, tops. You didn't often temporarily close up shop for breaks, but it was quiet and you weren't likely to get too many sales before the lunch rush, anyway.

As you were about to flip the sign, however, a figure suddenly walked up to the door. You jumped, then internally scolded yourself for being ridiculous--it was just your regular, or "Ahh, Mr. Regular?," as he'd awkwardly suggested you call him when you’d asked for his name. It was odd, but, the man was also downing an exceptional amount of sugar while buying up entire cases worth of your goods on the regular, so it wasn't your place to judge.

You bit your cheek to suppress a sigh of frustration and opened the door, stepping back so he could come in.

"Oh," he said, "are you closing?"

You smiled, or tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace than anything resembling your typical sweet countenance. "No, no, I was just going to close up for a nap... I mean a break." You shook your head. You shouldn't bother customers with talks about naps, it probably made you sound lazy.

He quirked his head slightly, staring at you almost intensely. "Yes..." he said softly, almost murmuring. "I see those circles under your eyes... you haven't been sleeping well."

The personal turn of the conversation made you feel awkward. You looked away, embarrassed. You hated the idea of customers seeing you as anything other than the cheery pastry shop lady, a source of sugar and sweetness and delicious goodies. "Um," you said, "I guess not, I've just been a little, you know--out of it. You know how things go."

You laughed, mirthless and empty, and gestured towards the case. "So, anyway. I actually don't have many special pastries today, I've been a little busy." You mentally slapped yourself for giving excuses, even bland ones, though it wasn't like you were lying. 

You'd woken up early so you could head into work and finish off some really nice specialty items you'd baked last night, but rummaging around your drawers for something to wear led you to realize the lingerie was missing, and you'd spent 2 hours drifting between panic and disgust.

But rather than walk towards the case and pick out today's purchases, your regular simply stood in front of you. Head slightly quirked still, eyes expressive--concerned, you thought, he looks concerned about me. 

You couldn't deny that a customer worrying about you brought up conflicting emotions; frustration, because you didn't want to mess with your public persona; and a warm mixture of comfort and flattery. Someone liked your pastries enough to care about you.

"Is everything all right?" He said, finally. "Are you feeling sick? Or is something else keeping you up?"

You stared, feeling lost for words. You didn't really know him, and you hadn’t even told your friends about your potential stalker. But the weight of the past few weeks, the build-up of fear and disgust and stress, seemed to push you down until you found yourself sliding into one of your cafe chairs. He followed suit, pulling his knees up until he practically crouched on the seat.

You hesitated. Should you really be telling him any of this? “I… don’t want to bother you with any of my personal problems.”

“It’s not bothering me. I’m curious,” he said, lightly.

You sighed. Here goes, you thought. “I… I have a stalker?” Your hesitancy quickly morphed into an awkward blurting. “I mean, I think I do. I’m not sure. It’s just the past few weeks. I keep hearing these weird noises. And I feel like I’m being watched.” You bit your lip. “And someone took my underpants?”

Actually vocalizing the thought made you realize that it could just all be in your head. I mean, whirring noises? Missing lingerie? Maybe there were ants in the walls and you’d donated the set and forgot about it.

You half expected him to look embarrassed and give an excuse to leave. But instead, he looked thoughtfully at you. “Hmm. Have you called the police?”

It was you who felt embarrassed now. “No…” You shrugged. “I mean, what can they do, anyway? I don’t have any proof.”

He regarded you with a grim nod. “That’s true. They won’t act without evidence.” He gave a little huffy sigh of his own. “Well… if it were up to me, I’d do a stake out. See if anyone comes into your place at night. I could get some equipment, if you want.”

You smiled--subtle and soft, but a genuine smile. At least he didn’t think you were crazy. At least he validated your feelings. And he’d offered to help, even if you would never feel comfortable taking him up on that offer.

“I appreciate it,” you said. “But maybe I’m just being paranoid. I don’t want to drag you into all this…” You sat up straighter and decided to change the subject--you’d had enough worrying about a stalker for one day. “Say, do you want to see the kitchen? I need to finish up a cake I started last night, for the special case. Maybe you can pick out the fruit toppings?”

For a moment, your regular looked shocked.  He nodded, slowly. His expression never quite fully recovered its normal neutrality, and he stood up almost cautiously before following your lead into the open kitchen door accessed from behind the counter.

“Sorry for the mess,” you say lightly. “I didn’t have time to start dishes yet.” You gestured towards a countertop where a small cake stuffed with mascarpone and nestled within a layer of marzipan sat. There were little dollops of cream forming a circle on the top of the cake. “I’m going to top it with some fruits, why don’t you pick out which ones you like?” You covered your mouth, suddenly. “I mean--if you want to buy it, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

He cleared his throat and a small smile flickered across his lips. “Of course I’ll buy it. Your cakes are delicious.”

You laughed a little, showing your teeth, and took out some little jars of fresh fruits from a small fridge underneath the counter. As he looked over them, you turned and began tossing a few empty pots, pans and stirrers into the sink so that they could soak. You couldn’t help but hum a little, used to singing while you clean.

“Yes, I’ve decided,” he said suddenly. You turned around and saw him staring right at you.

“Decided?” You asked. Something about the way he was looking at you felt familiar. You thought about whirring.

“On strawberries,” he replied. He slowly held up the bowl of freshly cut, ripe red berries. “For my cake.”

**

L sat, crouched on the couch, staring at the video he’d taken of today’s events. You confided in him, which was delightful. You’d smiled at him, which was even better. Watching you put the glorious finishing touches on a scrumptious pastry in the kitchen was just... well. Icing on the cake.

He pressed a button on the controller and rewound the video to the moment where you'd laughed, light and airy and perfectly melodious to his ears. Your smile was genuine, then--not the constrained smile you'd given when he'd interrupted your nap plans; nor was it the sometimes plastic smile you wore when you were clearly exhausted with giving endlessly bright customer service.

Your real smile was something to be treasured. Especially, he thought to himself, because it will be a long while before he sees it again. You won’t be smiling much after he kidnaps you--after he acquires you, he corrected himself. 

According to his calculations, you won't start feeling more accepting of your situation for at least a few months, but it may be sooner (or later) depending on certain variables. You will be scared first, he knew--scared and maybe angry with him for deceiving you and trapping you. And that wouldn’t be very conducive to the smile and laughter he’d quickly become addicted to taking in.

He lifted up your favorite mug and took a sip of the warm coffee inside, relishing the last bits of your lipstick left on the rim, before rewinding the video to watch you again. Time will heal your wounds--but in the mean time, he will be so very generous and patient with you.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Heuj valves, you know what I'm here for, go on. Make us a story dolly >:)

-cursed

Okay, in case you guys haven’t been around for like, the past day or two, let me explain. This is involving Bill Sykes, the villain of the movie ‘Oliver and Company’. Cursed came out of nowhere, showed me this man, and he has LITERALLY kept me up all night last night. I’m tired, majorly horny, and I hate this big, BIG man so much. Let’s go. (Also side note first attempt writing him, I'm trying)

Money. Money was a thing that made the world go round. It was something everyone wanted, something everyone would fight tooth and nail to get. Some people had nothing, and some had far too much. Like Sykes. Sykes had so much money, through brute force, through cunning, through anything and everything unsavory. And with so much money, came with the ability to have SO much power, of which he abused. If he wasn’t taunting people with how much money he had, he was luring more people in with his classic charm. As evil as he was, no one really seemed to see it at the beginning. They saw an older, rather likeable man. It was why no one blinked twice when he walked into the clothes store. If anything, he was welcomed, especially by the man behind the counter.

“Mr.Sykes! Just on time! Ever the punctual man! I got your new suit in!”

“Good, good. You’re one of the few in this city that DOESN’T disappoint me.”

“I should hope not, you’re my best customer! Speaking of, can I be daring enough to offer you a new set of shoes?”

“Wasn’t looking for a new pair, but what the hell.”

Sykes let him be walked to the counter. He JUST so happened to be on the counter next to some lady. Pretty thing, honestly. She somehow didn’t notice him, and pushed a handbag across the counter.

“Hey, I didn’t see a tag on this. Can you check it for me?”

This lady didn’t belong here. This was a real ‘if you had to ask, you can’t afford it’ kinda place. The guy behind the counter gave her a look, before glancing at the bag.

“Twenty nine fifty, miss.”

“Only thirty bucks? Okay-”

She went to dig into her current purse, before he cleared his throat.

“Ma’am, no. I’m saying it's two thousand, nine hundred and fifty dollars.”

“Ah. So when do I get the bull?”

“Pardon?”

“The bull. The one who's giving me this fresh batch of shit."

Sykes had to give her one thing, she had a mouth on her. Sykes sensed a fight, and decided to turn that into his favor.

“Hey, let me pay for the lady here.”

She looked at him, seeming to just now notice his presence. She was reasonably suspicious, and seemed to almost snarl at him.

“I don’t do freebies.”

“Not a freebie. Just thought a pretty lady should have pretty things. If you don’t want it, fine, won’t push it. Really, it’s on me.”

She hesitated, before seeming to put her guard down, pushing the purse back across the counter. He chuckled, swiping his card. This is how you brought the pretty ones in. Buy them something nice and shiny, show them you were a sweet guy. He grabbed his things, and stepped outside with her. She was staring at her purse in fascination, before turning to look at him.

“Thanks a bunch, by the way. Didn’t catch your name.”

“Sykes. Bill Sykes.”

He held his hand out to her, and she accepted the handshake. He took the chance to give her another look over, and realized; yeah. She was worth trapping. He threw his stuff into the car, before turning to look in her direction.

“You have plans for lunch?”

“No, why?”

“Feelin’ generous today. Assuming you can spare me some company.”

She looked hesitant, studying him and his ride. If he wasn’t rich, it would’ve been ‘hell no’. But she was, like many, allured by his obvious, flagrant weath.

“I mean...yeah, sure. Why not?”

Little did she know, she was digging the hole deeper and deeper.

-------------------------------------------

It had gotten WAY later into the night than he planned. He had meant to only spare an hour or so, but he found himself taking well into sunset. By the time they left the place, she was hooked, lined, and sinker, laughing and holding onto his arm as they walked back to his car. He opened the passenger side door for her, motioning for her to hop in.

“You want a ride back to your place? You DID have a bit to drink.”

She nodded, getting inside, practically giddy.

“Yeah, I can tell you how to get there, I think.”

“Good, good.”

He shut the door after her, and hopped in himself. He put on his seatbelt, and lit up a cigar. He hadn’t had a good smoke all day, and it felt good to finally get one in. He let her guide him to her house, and made a mental note of just where she lived. The drive was but a simple action, but it was a clever, discreet way of knowing just where to find her. He stopped right in front of her place, put the car in park, and exhaled the smoke into the car’s interior.

“You know, you put me in a real, real good mood. How about I do the same for you?”

She looked at him, confused, before he pulled out his wallet, and brought out a good chunk of cash. THAT sobered her up. Her first instinct was to clearly reach for it, but she stopped herself.

"What...is this for?"

"Spending money. Something for you to play around with, invest in stuff, whatever ya want."

"That’s...lots of money. A...LOT of money. You just carry that with you? You don’t think you’ll get mugged or something?”

“That doesn’t happen. Trust me on that.”

He chuckled. There were attempts, MANY attempts in fact, but...well. Didn’t end well, let’s keep it at that. She looked down at the stack, and he knew she was so close to being in his web. Just one movement of the hand. One moment of indulgence. And she fell for it. She took it from his hand, and counted it in her hand. The more she counted, the more lost she seemed to get, clearly in disbelief.

“Twenty five...t-thousand. That’s seriously how much this is?”

“Right on the dot. Now go on, get outta here. Sure I’ll bump into ya again, Doll.”

When she helped herself out of the car, he chuckled, and pulled out of the driveway. Soon enough made it home, where Roscoe and Desoto looked up at him, clearly wondering where he had been. It WAS a bit past their usual treat time. Fishing some out of his pockets, he tossed them towards his eagerly awaiting pups. He sighed as he sat down at his chair, leaning back a bit, and blowing rolls of smoke into the air.

“You boys ain’t gonna believe today’s catch. A real cute thing, you have no idea. Imma give her the usual week. Desoto.”

He snapped his fingers, and the mutt obeyed promptly, getting out of bed and sitting at his side. He allowed Sykes to run his big, firm hands through his fur, and thumbs rubbing at the tips of his ears. His master seemed VERY pleased by his new catch today, he almost never got special pets like this.

“You guys are gonna love her. Because If I don’t get a bite out of her, you two will.”

--------------------------------------------------------

He waited in his car, headlights off as he awaited her to return from work. He decided to take all this time to get back to some calls, rather than just sit here with his thumbs up his ass. 

“No. No. Swear to god ya bunch of morons- no. Take the teeth out BEFORE ya dump him. So what if he screams? Well ya in the warehouse right? Aight, ya gonna be fine then.”

His associate kept talking on the other line, but Sykes didn’t listen. He was too distracted by his hounds in the back, who were now fully sitting up and looking out the window. His dogs were a pain, but at least they were smart.

“Yeah listen, imma call ya back. Figure it out.”

He then saw her. She was even carrying the same purse he bought her. He waited till she went to her front door, before turning on the headlights, nearly blinding the poor thing. He stepped out of the car, hands out as if he was being welcoming.

“Aye, there ya are doll! Been a while!”

She seemed confused for a minute, but as he stepped closer, it clicked.

“Sykes, right?”

“Yeah, knew ya wouldn’t forget me. I didn’t forget ya in the slightest.”

He walked up to her, and leaned against the door, pinning her between a rock and a hard place. She shrunk a bit, before looking down at the floor. She had dropped her keys. Just before she could make the motion to reach for them, he covered it with the bottom of his shoe. He leaned down, blowing plumes of smoke into her face, making tears swell in her eyes.

“So, where’s my payment?”

“Payment?”

Of course she was confused. They always were. As if money was free in this world. He let the cigar roll in his mouth, before nodding.

“Yeah, my payment. You took a loan from me, doll. I need it back.”

“I didn’t know that was a loan! You didn’t say-”

“Little girl, nothing in this world is free, money included. Now, where is it? If you got it upstairs, I’ll go with ya to get it.”

Her little eyes looked so frantic under his gaze. He just needed to hear those words. Words that from any other mouth, would make him a very unhappy man.

“I...don’t have that kinda money.”

That was all he needed. He grabbed her by her arm, and yanked her to follow. She would’ve made a dash for her keys, had Roscoe not nipped at her heel, forcing her to back away. Turns out two barking dogs made for quite the deterrent. Sure, she struggled, screaming as his hand slapped over her mouth, but that didn’t matter. He managed to pull her away, and nearly threw her into the car. Desoto was a good boy, using those big, pearly whites to keep her there in pure fear.

“Roscoe, fetch.”

Roscoe went for the door, grabbed the keys, and placed them into his master’s hand.

“Good boy. Now get in.”

He waited till his other pup jumped into the back, before he went to the driver’s seat, and locked the doors. He adjusted his rearview mirror, and caught a glimpse of her scared little eyes. Yep. She was already worth every penny.

----------------------------------------------

“Don’t look at me like I’m a bad guy, sweetheart. You understand, ain’t nothing free. I fancy myself a good guy, but not good enough to just hand out money like that.”

Roscoe and Desoto circled her like vultures. She didn't even NEED to be tied up like this, he just liked the assurance, and the view. Like a little doe, she was still, powerless, and scared.

"I didn't know-"

"What you don't know, CAN kill you. I'm sorry, I know it ain't fair. But life is like that. Fortunately for you, I'm a very compassionate man. We can discuss methods of payment. Any family money?"

She shook her head, seeming to be a BIT distracted by Roscoe's sharp teeth. He gave a sharp inhale, shaking his head.

"Clearly YOU don't have the money, right? No 'under the sofa' cash?"

Another shake of her head. His fingers tapped against his table, shaking his head in clear disappointment. 

"Oh. I REALLY don't like your options now, Doll. Ya got two choices."

She squirmed a bit, stiffening as Desoto's teeth bared against her. He lifted his hands up a bit, and snapped his fingers. Roscoe followed the command, and dashed right for her, barking and frothing at the mouth. The weight of his body sent her falling, with the chair slamming onto the floor. He pinned her down, barking and covering her face in drool, teeth BARELY missing her own skin. 

Oh how she screamed. How she begged for mercy. How her legs thrashed as she tried in vain to get away. He let her sit there until he was certain there were tears in her eyes. Then he stood up, and slowly walked over to her, heavy footsteps clanking against the hard floor below them. He snapped his fingers, and Roscoe heeled, taking a seat next to his fellow fido. He squatted down to her level, blowing smoke into her already irritated face. He liked crybabies.

"That's option one. I'm assuming you don't want that."

She shook her head, sniffing. He rolled the cigar in his lips, before he lifted her face up with his hand, and pushed her chin down, forcing her mouth to open.

"Option two. You could provide me with a few...services. Then we can forget ALL about the pesky little debt you have with me. You're a pretty little thing, I'd be willing to let you work it off. I mean, you'd survive If I bit you, rather than my boys here. Not to mention if you're sweet 'nuff, I'll un do those pesky ropes of yours."

She clearly thought about it, but her mind was foggy, her eyes hurt, even her lungs felt sore from the second hand smoke. But, just as he suspected, she nodded. A huge grin came over his face, and he held onto the chair, pulling her off the floor.

"Alright sweetheart, let's EARN your freedom here. Open that pretty mouth for me."

He held onto her face as he pulled in, pushing that thick, rich smoke right into her mouth. All while his tongue slid into her mouth, grazing against hers. He took his time, getting a good, firm kiss out of her. He only pulled away when he needed to breathe. She needed it too, starting to fall into a coughing fit. It was cute. He put out his cigar on the ashtray, letting it sit there.

"Mm. You taste good. Damn good."

He undid his belt buckle, and whipped himself out. He turned her face at him, but with a bit of a...heavy hand, he pressed his cock against her face.

It was precious, watching such an innocent face under his thick cock. She whined a bit as he pushed her face into him, nearly smothering her with not only his dick, but his hairy, hairy balls.

"Open up for me Doll, nice and sweet. And don't you bite me. You'll regret it, trust me."

This time she seemed fairly willing, opening her mouth with not much more than a wince. He grabbed onto that pretty, pretty hair of hers, and pulled, really shoving her onto him.

"Oh that's the ticket, honey. Right there. Can feel that little tongue of yours."

He pushed himself fully, and held himself there, till he felt her gag, just like a good girl. He pulled away, watching her pant, lips covered in her own drool, and chest heaving. She was about to speak, before he shoved his balls right into her mouth, head tossed back in content. When was the last time he had his balls sucked by a cute, willing (somewhat anyway) little thing like her? He kept his fat, firm fingers in between her hair, really making a mess of it. Beautiful, poised girls were all swell, but cute, messy girls were such fun playthings. He granted her a bit of mercy, pulling away, while still pumping his cock.

"Mmm. You're a good little girl, ain't ya? Pretty too. I was gonna really put you through the ringer, but you're too damn precious NOT to be opened."

Not needing any scissors, he yanked at the ropes, making them snap under the force of his grip. He lifted her off of the seat, putting her on his desk, and using his big, strong hands to part those nice looking legs of hers. She was clearly hesitant, being felt up by essentially a stranger, but he didn’t care. Long as she didn't fight him, he could give less of a damn. He tore off her skirt, and took a gander of her panties. It was hot, knowing those lacey undergarments were paid for by HIM.

"Cute set here, Doll. Real, real cute stuff."

He took a hold of her ass, and pulled her closer to him, pressing himself right against that nice, cute fabric. With his free hand, he tugged at her shirt. Just because he was hungry, didn't mean he couldn't be a bit refined.

"Shirt, bra, off. Case you wanna keep your outfit in one piece."

He saw her hands tremble, as if she was confused. He gave another tug, and she seemed to finally get the hint, pulling her clothes off. She was worth the wait, honestly. Hell, he was so excited, he took his own shirt off, laying it as carefully as he could off to the side of the desk (it was hard to keep your shit neat when you wanted to be messy). He dug his fingers into her hair again, and yanked her into another kiss, this time really pressing himself against her. It wasn’t just their bank accounts that differed, it seemed. Where she was soft, helpless, he was firm, foreboding against her. He loomed over her, nearly suffocating her with not only his greedy lips, but his large, hairy, heavy frame. He pulled her away for a moment, ignoring the way she winced. He was pretty heavy handed, especially when it came to such a darling looking thing. He started to roll his hips into her, pushing his tip right against her clit. He liked the way she jumped every time, liked the way her toes seemed to curl. 

“You’re gonna handle me REAL well, girlie. I can tell. You’re really just a kitten, ain’t ya?”

His hand cupped at one of her breasts, kneading and pulling at the flesh. He was heavy handed with her, using enough force to make her wince. Not his fault she had a cute pair, with a face to match. He would sit there and play with them till they were nice and raw, but he wasn’t sure his cock would handle this much stalling. He hooked his finger into her underwear, and pulled them off. They were pretty much soaked, and something about that was just so charming to him. He let go of her hair, and groped her pussy, palming at her wet, warm folds. She held onto his hand, writhing under his firm grip. He pulled his hand away, letting her whimper as he checked out just how much she left on his hand. Needy little thing, it seemed. He slapped that hand over her mouth, and pushed himself right inside. You’d think he’d give her just the tip, get her used to his size.

You’d be wrong.

He pushed himself fully inside of her, balls deep, and watched her shake. Not that he blamed her. He was a big guy, afterall. He kept his hand over her mouth, despite how much she clawed at his hand. He held her like that, not moving a single muscle until she decided to settle down. He pulled his hand away, watching as her own drool (along with her own fluids) smeared over her delicate little mouth. She looked at the cock stuff inside of her, before looking at his face. He was expecting some kind of retort, some kind of insult, maybe even a slap to the face, stuff he was used to.

“You’re a terrible, terrible man.”

He opened his mouth to give her a life lesson (one he gave everyone when they barked that at him), when she suddenly flung herself at him, nearly smashing her lips against his own. That...was a first. But he was NOT complaining. He grabbed the back of her head, and returned the kiss with fervor, letting her moan right into his greedy, greedy mouth. Laying her right onto her back, he started to slam himself right into her. He had no idea how his desk supported his weight, especially when he was acting damn near belligerent on his new toy, but god was he glad it did. Especially since his new toy seemed just as excited as he was now, running her hands through his absolute mess of chest hair, and even locking her legs around him, as if she didn’t want him to leave. He parted the kiss, panting huskily against her lips. She moved not an inch, in either obedience, or the fact that his strong, fat hands were still holding the back of her head, as if he was scruffing a mutt.

“You’re taking me real nice, doll. You feel nice and tight, and you’re feeling me up like you actually like me.”

She didn’t seem to be focusing on his words for a moment, but rather keeping her focus on his big, hairy tummy. Not that he cared, he favored looking at her tits moving in sync with his thrusts. He favored watching the lewdness in her eyes, he favored knowing that her ravenous pussy leaked all over his desk. All of these he favored, over her actually meeting his eyes (Sykes wasn’t a real romance type, case you haven’t guessed). He let her continue her grubby little hands as he lowered his face right to the nape of her neck. He could tell that she liked hearing him talk, given the way she seemed to pull at his hair every time his breath brushed against her ear.

“It’s gonna feel so good when I cum right in you. You’re already handling me so good, you’re already gonna cum yourself. I can see it. I can see it plain as day, you wanna cum on my cock. Even if I’m a bad, bad guy, you want me doll. And that’s SO sweet of ya, really.”

He could tell she was trying to give him a bit of a fight. Just a little bit of one. She had such a mean little scowl about her, as if she refused to let him see her cum. Unfortunately for her, he always took what he wanted. And after just a few more thrusts, after taunting her with his sweet, sweet voice, and after grabbing her so tightly she bruised, she came. She shook something fierce as he fucked her right through it, relishing in her cries of ecstasy. He was used to screams. Screams of mercy, of pain, but hearing one from such a cute little dame cumming for him, it was just so refreshing. She pushed his face away, only to bury her teeth right into his big, meaty neck. Most bites tended to happen on his hand, so feeling it here was just something else. He didn’t have a chance in hell. With a swear under his lips, he came. He forced her to keep still, pumping cum right inside of her. Even as it trickled out of her, he didn’t seem to quit. He wasn’t timing it, but he knew he lasted a damn good minute before he finished.

“Shit.”

Was his only response. A simple, satisfied swear. One that helped ease all the tension in his poor, old body. His stomach rested on hers as he panted, ever so slowly calming down from a damn good high. She was quite a vision herself, covered in sweat and bruises. Pretty thing. She forced herself to swallow, before speaking, wearily.

“We uh...square, right?”

That made him laugh. He shook his head, leaning over to his discarded jacket, and pulling out a cigar. He lit it up, taking a good, deep inhale, right before looking down at her.

“Honey, that was a damn good fuck, really it was. But that was NOT worth twenty five thousand. You still got a bit of work ahead of ya, Doll.”

He watched her wince as he tapped his cigar, letting the ashes fall onto her exposed skin. Yep.

She was a keeper.

[ddaenggtan]

Half-Baked Holiday | ksj | M

Granny Park’s Gossip:

That Seokjin, don’t get me started on him. He’s worked hard to open and run that bakery of his, you know, and I’m so proud that it’s so successful now. Wish he would find a nice person to settle down with, though, he deserves it, as long as he’s been on his own. Well, I guess you can’t really call it alone when he’s got that grump of a best friend always hanging around him. He really should be paying her, what with all the time she spends at the bakery with him. She’s always waking up on the wrong side of the bed, but she’s not so bad when she brings me some of those cookies of his, or just around Seokjin in general, if I’m honest. Too distracted by staring at that pretty face of his, I suppose, though who can blame her?

pairing } seokjin x reader

word count } 12.6K { also on ao3

genre } friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, bakery au, fluff, smut, literally the slightest bit of angst

warnings } fluff, fluff, fluff; jin is an idiot and so is the MC, like they’re genuinely both dumbasses but in different ways; pining; misunderstandings; masturbation, spanking, unprotected sex, oral sex - male receiving, exhibitionism a little, rolling pins are used in ways they are not intended to be used; several mentions of jins squeaky laugh and also his red ears bc they’re my favorite things in the world

{ The Snowball Effect Series Masterlist } 

a/n } whaddup i finally finished this thing barely on time so yEET i yet again maintain my status as queen of last minute deadlines!!!! HBH is my Baby, I love it, it’s my perfect shiny garbage baby, and if you like it, you should DEF check out the others!! They can be read as standalones, but it’s really really really really really really highly recommended that you read them all in order, as they all end up in the same place and there are a ton of little easter eggs and references and shoutouts woven into the entire series!!! Extra special shoutout to the authors of all the other stories, @fortunexkookie (ryn), @taehyungforreal (ashley), @stutterfly​ (kristi, who also made the incredible banners!!!) 

You're a good person. You pride yourself on being kind and giving. Every year you make donations to several charities. You help organize summer fundraisers so kids can eat. You buy the most ethically-sourced groceries possible. You leave your change in case someone else can use it. You always tip at least 20% when you go out to eat. Out of everything, though, of all the good deeds you try to do in your life, there's one thing that makes you a truly outstanding human being. 

You don't lose your fucking mind every time the urge hits you. 

"But how many calories are in the Holiday Donut?" The lady in front of you asks. You can feel your eye twitching and even the young guy behind the register is starting to falter in his bright grin. 

"Um, I'm not-"

"Look lady," You cut in. "You have heard about nearly every thing on the fucking menu. It's a donut, stuffed with strawberry creme and coated in colored frosting and sprinkles. How many calories do you think are in it? Just order the banana nut muffin like you always do, get your coffee, and leave, so the rest of us aren't stuck in a line for another hour." 

The lady looks scandalized as she turns to glare at you, but all it takes is a single cocked eyebrow to send her huffing out the door. She mutters a few choice words under her breath as she goes, but you pay them no mind. 

"Your usual is almost ready, Pumpkin." You level Jin with an unamused glare as he pushes his way through the kitchen doors with a steaming tray of scones in hand. 

"You know I hate that name, Spice," You remind him dryly. 

"You know I hate it when you run my customers off with that dark cloud you call a personality, and yet here we both are," he responds. He just smiles at your eyeroll and you do your best to ignore the fluttering in your stomach. Instead you make yourself comfortable on one of the barstools at the counter. 

Seokjin's bakery is as busy as it ever is; several of the tables are taken, either by students on their nth espresso or families doing holiday shopping or people just looking for a place to relax amidst the bustle of the streets. There's someone perched on the stool at the opposite end, close to the register, but you pay them no mind. You're too focused on the mug Jin slides in front of you - green and chipped on the handle, it's your favorite - and the steam wafting up from the cocoa inside. There's a thick layer of marshmallow on the top and a candy cane sticking out, just like you like it, and a Holiday Bagel on a small plate next to it. 

"Thanks. You're still an ass, though." He has the decency to look offended at your words, and you grit your teeth against the smile that threatens to split your face. He always looks so cute when he's huffy. 

"One of these days I'm going to make you start paying for your food like everyone else, and then you'll start treating me right."

"Sure," You agree in a monotone as you pull your phone out and start tapping away on it. "That'll be the same day that you stop asking me to do your books for you because you can't be bothered."

The sigh that expels itself from his lungs is almost as dramatic as the play he dragged you to the week before. 

"I am perfectly capable of doing my books myself, thank you. I let you do it to keep you busy."

"Mhm, sure, I believe that," You tell him. He scoffs again and you barely register the hand he shoots forward to steal your bagel before you're slapping it away. "You don't even like strawberries and kiwi, Seokjin, and you will lose a hand."

You don't look up from the emails you're sorting through on your phone, but you don't have to in order to know that he's got both elbows braced on either side of you. You've known him long enough to know that this is his Pout Stance, and you dare not look up because there's no denying him when he looks like that. 

"You're so mean to me, Pumpkin. All I do is spoil you with good food and perfect company," he whines, "And what do I get for it? Insults and mockery. You could at least give me a kiss every now and then."

You choke on your cocoa. It burns your nose as it starts to come up that way, and the dark liquid dances across your phone screen as it molds to every crack and crevice. 

"Goddamn it, Seokjin," You sputter. He's already holding a cloth out to you, apology written on his face even as you glare at him. You pat your phone dry as best you can before resigning yourself to the fact that it's just going to smell like warm chocolate and peppermint until the next time your best friend flusters you. 

"To be fair, I didn't expect you to be so opposed to the idea," Seokjin mutters. He continues under his breath as you wave off his attempt to help again, something about him being handsome enough, but you aren't listening. Because that's the only real problem between the two of you. 

You aren't opposed to the idea. It's all you can think about most days; in work meetings, while you're doing paperwork, in team briefings, while you watch TV, when you're asleep. What his pillow lips would feel like against your own occupies nearly every waking thought you have. The others are torn between fantasies of what being his would be like and memories of him in general, neither of which you're lacking in.

You've known Seokjin for years. You don't even know how long since you insist you met when you were twelve and Jin is just as insistent that you met when you were nine. All you remember is being alone on the side of a playground playing hopscotch by yourself and then giggling at something the nice boy had said and then the two of you were inseparable. You aren't even sure how long you've felt like this towards him. It could've been high school, when he was one of the most sought after boys in school and yet still made time to comfort you every time a boy rejected you. Maybe it was college, though, when he was further away than he'd ever been and yet always answered your calls and responded to your texts and you'd cancel dates because he had randomly driven up to see you. Maybe it was after, watching him run his own bakery and do what he loves every day with the brightest grin you've ever seen on his face. 

You can't be sure. All you know is one day you were washing dishes in the back after being his guinea pig for some new creation, and he told some dumb joke, and when you turned around to mock his squeaky laugh like usual, you couldn't. Because he had flour on his cheek and chocolate on his lip and you'd never wanted to kiss someone so bad in your life. 

And then it just devolved from there and now the butterflies in your stomach have just set up camp. It's been too long, but you can't risk your friendship with him over some stupid crush. He means too much to you. 

Your eyes don't leave his back as he disappears back into the kitchen, still complaining about something under his breath, and you suppress a sigh. 

Shopping is the worst. You aren't really sure why you're here, because you hate shopping and you hate crowds and you especially hate holiday shopping because it's like Satan himself smashed the two together. You get all your gifts online or early in the year, you don't go anywhere near a mall from October to March, and it works for you. You don't have to deal with holiday crowds. Ever. So why are you on hour five at the largest mall in driving distance with no breakfast, sore feet, and full bags hanging from every possible place they can?

"Does that really seem like something Taehyung would like, though? I got that jacket for him already, I know, but this seems so much more fitting. What do you think, Pumpkin?"

Oh. Right. Seokjin had showed up at Too Damn Early For A Saturday O'Clock and demanded you accompany him for his holiday shopping. 

"I think that if I don't eat something in the next ten minutes, I'm ripping your head off and eating that instead. And for dessert I'll demolish those fancy chocolates you got for Jimin." A passing mother gives you a horrified glance as she ushers her toddler along and you almost wish you gave a shit. It's the mall, she can't control what other people say in this hellhole. You probably could’ve done without the emphasis on Jimin, though; Jin knows how much you worship those chocolates, you’ve said countless times that they’re better than orgasms, and still, he got some for Jimin and not you. 

You aren’t bitter. Or petty. No. You’re an adult, and you’re not going to pout just because your crush got your mutual friends some sweets instead of you.

"If you touch those chocolates, you're going to march your ass right back to that store and replace them while I return all your gifts," Seokjin quips back. You glance over at him and wrinkle your nose at the two berets he has in each hand. 

"What the fuck are you doing, Spice?"

“Wondering when you’re going to listen when I talk to you,” He responds. He holds both of the berets up for you to view more clearly. “Now, which of these is more ‘Tae’ to you?” He doesn’t react to the blank glare you give him, long since immune to your powers of pessimism, and instead just wiggles the berets in each hand so you actually look at them. 

Neither are to your personal taste; one is diamond-encrusted in some kind of quilted pattern, with some kind of alternating animal print as well. The other is more understated, if you can call it that, with a faux-fur trim, a feathered poof in the center, and a truly obscene pink houndstooth pattern to it. You can’t help the wrinkled nose that the two options cause in you, and you ignore Seokjin’s huff of irritation in favor of looking past him to the rest of the options. You only have to look for a minute to find something better suited, which mostly means Jin wanted to give Tae something truly gaudy on purpose. 

“Here,” You say, stuffing the hat into his hands. He stops mid-rant - something about how you should be helping him more, though you aren’t sure why because he’s the one that dragged you here and is lucky you haven’t bailed yet - and focuses on what you’ve just given him. It’s not a pretty beret, by any means, and is by far the cheapest one there, but it’s got some kind of artful splatter across it in greyscale tones, with a pop of red around the rim to accent it. Seokjin just stares at it for a second before turning his gaze on you, and you shift uncomfortably. 

“What?” You eventually ask. 

“Nothing,” He says airily. “Just surprised.” 

“At what?”

“You paying attention to people and being able to buy good gifts.” He puts the other two back into place and heads towards the registers, ignoring your indignant squawk. 

“I get you perfect gifts every year!” You don’t miss his eyeroll, and it makes you want to strangle him a little. 

“I don’t count,” He tells you as he settles in behind some grandmother buying entirely too many things that have to be for her grandkid. “You know me better than anyone, and you have access to my Amazon wishlist.”

“Yeah, except none of that is on your fucking wishlist,” You mutter. He turns, eyebrow arched and ready to get more backtalk, but you just make a face at him. 

He drags you to five more stores after that and abandons you in the middle of Williams Sonoma. You’re on your third lap of the store, ready to disassemble the fancy grill they’ve got on display to see if he’s somehow in there, when he appears, probably from the ether or some shit. You’re still trying to figure out how he managed to phase through time and space and the massive shelf of Martha Stewart Collection Cookware without you noticing, and in the meantime he takes the massive amount of bags from your hands and deposits something in your palms instead. 

It takes you a minute to register the warmth, but the smell hits instantly and makes your stomach grumble loudly. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so fucking hungry. 

“Eat,” Seokjin commands. “We’ve got more shopping to do for the bakery.”

You can’t even argue because your mouth is stuffed full of pizza pretzel bites - the only real reason to come to the mall, in your opinion. You’ve inhaled one serving in record time, and Jin doesn’t even react when you bust into the second one in the middle of some tech store. Instead, he just holds out a hand and waits for you to plop a pretzel bite in his palm. 

It’s hours later, long after you’ve helped Seokjin drop off all the bakery supplies at the shop and carted the presents up to his apartment, that you realize you’re still holding on to the bag from the pretzel place. You’re about to toss it into your garbage when it registers that there’s too much weight for just garbage; curious, you open the bag up and dump the content onto your kitchen counter. 

Inside is a small box of chocolates, the same kind you’d threatened to eat earlier in the day, your favorite flavor and everything, with a small note atop it. 

These were supposed to be part of your gift, but you looked put out when you thought I wasn’t getting you any. Thanks for today. xxSpice

You resist the urge to smile; it’s only right that he give you sweets after the frankly absurd amount of time he’d made you spend at the mall. Still, you can’t deny your lip twitches along with your heart at the knowledge that he’d been planning on including them in your gift. 

And you might tuck the note away behind a postcard on your fridge, but you’re never going to admit to that. 

The next day when you get to the bakery, Seokjin doesn't hesitate to shove you into his small office and push you into his desk chair before he disappears back into the kitchen. The usually cluttered space is empty, devoid of the usual invoices and order forms and whatever the fuck else your best friend keeps on his desk. Even the picture frames have been moved, placed haphazardly atop a filing cabinet. Something flutters in your chest when you notice the one directly facing his chair is one of the two of you.

Taken years and years ago, back when you were first moving into your college dorm, when you were both tired from carrying boxes up the seven flights of stairs to your room. You still remember how irritated you had been when Jin's parents insisted they get a picture of the two of you in your matching university hoodies. You don't remember what it was, but you remember Seokjin cracked some dumb joke or said something ridiculous. He must have, because in the picture, you're looking at him with a softness in your face that isn't present any other time.

Seokjin reappears with a steaming mug and a hand behind his back. The familiar scent of warm chocolate and peppermint hits you, followed closely by the warm-butter sharp-mint honey-glaze smell that you remember taste-testing for him so many times that you're almost positive it’s going to linger on your gravestone.

"That's mistledough." You narrow your eyes, and he rolls his own. His hand pulls out from behind his back to reveal the treat he'd concocted in college and perfected not long after. Shaped like a sprig of mistletoe and a warm honey brown color, the mistledough is easily the best selling product that Seokjin has.

And it's only on sale from Black Friday to the first day of January.

You don't even know what's in it. He's never told you, hasn't let you watch him make it; he'd just show up randomly and shove a weird-shaped treat under your nose and tell you to eat it. And of course you did, because you've been whipped for him since the first day he made you smile on that playground.

It's not important, really. What's important is that he's brought you cocoa and mistledough, which means he's bribing you for something important.

"No," You tell him.

"Please," He pouts. "You don't even know what it is yet." You huff and look anywhere else. His pout is dangerous for you and you know it, and you refuse to be bought for some cocoa and bread.

In an attempt to avoid the puppy dog eyes he no doubt is wearing, your eyes flit around the room. They eventually settle on the mass of shopping bags to your right. You turn, seeing the collection of various wrapping papers on the left and the collection of tape beside them.

"No," You repeat, turning your glare on him. "Wrap your own damn presents, Spice, I'm not doing it for you this year."

"But you do it so much better than I do!" He steps forward, setting his bribes in front of you so the scent wafts towards you that much more. "Your corners are always perfect, Pumpkin, and the edges are so well matched, and you get the pattern to line up perfectly, and-"

"No, Jin," You tell him, already standing. "I told you last year that it was the last time I'd be doing it for you, and that was only because you left it to the day before - again - and had to be in the bakery. I already wrapped all my presents, I'm not doing yours too."

He doesn't even say anything. He just widens his eyes a little and looks down at the scuffed tile floor, kicking his shoe dejectedly against the foot of the desk. There's utter silence in the room, only broken by the muffled chatter of customers and the beep of one of the ovens every few minutes.

You last for a solid ten minutes. You know because the smell of more mistledough fills the air, and you know Seokjin wouldn't try to bribe you with anything that wasn't the freshest batch.

"Why can't you do it?" You grumble, already sitting back down and picking through the wrapping paper.

"I've got like a hundred orders to fill today. That's not even really an exaggeration, either. Soobin's been on cake duty all day so that I can get to work on the mistledough orders and still have time to finish Tae's cake before we leave." You sigh and turn to look at him.

He looks stressed; that's not unusual for this time of year, but it still makes your chest clench. You want to pull him close, run your hands along the furrow between his brows until it's smooth again. Smother him with kisses until he's giggling and happy and remembers that he's a badass culinary god and that he can handle this and that you love him.

"I wish you would tell people no sometimes," You say instead. You slide one of the biodegradable rolls onto the desk and start looking through the drawers for the massive ruler you know is tucked away somewhere. "You can't fill every order. Let people pine for their fancy bread, they don't deserve it anyway."

"You know I can't do that, Pumpkin," He says, breaking off a piece of your bribe and leaning against the tattered desk. "We only just got to where we're steadily in the black, and the seasonal stuff brings in a lot of money. I've got to milk that for as much as I can."

"Yes, because you being overworked and stressed like this is a much better alternative. I'm pretty sure your eyebags have eyebags." You wait for the dramatic gasp, but it doesn't come.

Instead when you look up at him from where you're digging through presents, he's staring at the picture of the two of you. Whatever he's seeing is beyond that, though, invisible to anyone but himself. It's not rare that he gets introspective and quiet; it's actually fairly common when it's just the two of you. You don't know why. You don't want to know why. You just take the moments when they come and wait for him to say whatever he's going to say.

"You're my best friend," is what he eventually says. Your hand stutters where it's slicing paper, mimicking the pang of heartbreak that shoots through your veins. You love being his best friend.

You just wish you were more than that.

"Yeah," You say offhandedly, "No one else wanted the gig, so I guess I'm stuck here." You can feel his eyeroll, but he pats your shoulder as he heads back into the kitchen. When he reappears a while later with fresh cocoa and a bagel, you pretend to be mad that he steals a bite of it until he laughs at your grumbling.

When you leave his smile feels lighter, and you tell yourself you're imagining his eyes lingering on your back as you go.

You’re gonna kill him. You really are. You’re going to absolutely skin him alive, you don’t give a fuck how cute his face is or how hard he makes your heart beat. There’s not a single fucking thing he could say or do that would make up for this. 

Maybe if you hadn’t been out here waiting for nearly twenty minutes. Maybe if your phone showed that he had even opened the last six texts you had sent him. Maybe if it wasn’t Seokjin who insisted on leaving at like ten in the morning to being with, even though you had plenty of time to get there because you didn’t even need to run by the bakery because he’d already put Soobin and Yeonjun through what probably counted as actual military training in order to prepare them for today. Frankly, it’s a miracle Seokjin is even leaving them on their own today, considering how hectic it gets. You’re entirely sure that it’s only because Soobin has worked there since the bakery opened and Yeonjun joined not long after so they both know the ropes as well as they possibly can. And because Seokjin was likely up until an ungodly hour preparing and baking an enormous amount of mistledough for today.

In fact, he’s probably still passed out up there, you decide as you climb out of your truck and head into your best friend’s apartment building. You’re cursing under your breath the entire way, paying no mind to the scandalized elderly gentleman that shoots you a Look. You really are gonna kill him, you decide as you shove the key he made you into the lock and jiggle the handle slightly so it’ll actually turn. You’re going to drag him out of his stupidly comfortable bed and probably try to shove him down the garbage disposal or something. His shoulders may present a challenge, but you are up for it. 

Your mind is so made up that you don’t even register the bags he’s got ready by the door, or the coolers full of groceries that are packed and ready beside them. You just sidestep it all entirely and head down the hall. You don’t even register the faint sounds, muffled by the door to his room, and by the time it all finally reaches your brain, it’s too late. You’ve already thrown the door open as wide as it will go, which means you get a perfect, unobstructed view, even as Seokjin startles and yelps. 

Because of course - of course - he isn’t sleeping or showering or packing. No, instead he’s got his fist wrapped around his cock and is thrusting shallowly into the warmth of his palm. The universe loves to torment you entirely too much, clearly. Why else would it offer you such an unhindered look at the love of your life’s dick?

It’s a nice dick, too. Long and the perfect thickness, a pretty dusky pink head. You can’t lie and say you’ve never imagined what Seokjin’s dick looks like - you basically grew up with him and the others, and young boys talk about their dicks. A lot. Plus, you’ve had a crush on him for several years now. 

You just never could have imagined that it’s so absolutely gorgeous that you can feel your mouth water. It’s impossible to tear your eyes away from it, in fact, until Seokjin gets over his initial shock and shoves his blanket over his lap. 

“What, uh,” He starts, throat rough. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh...you asked me to pick you up, remember? Because your car doesn’t have four wheel drive like the truck.” You learned a long time ago how to avoid being embarrassed around Seokjin, but even that can’t stop the burn in your cheeks as you force yourself to make eye contact with your best friend. It’s a struggle to focus on anything that isn’t the planes of his naked chest, broad and tanned despite the winter weather, but you manage. 

Barely. 

“Right, yeah, but...uh, weren’t you supposed to call? And aren’t you early?” The tips of his ears are as red as your face feels. The contrast between the current situation and his obvious shyness is so endearingly distracting, it takes you a full minute to focus back in on what he’s saying. “--at this point, I mean, I know that we apparently aren’t there yet, but really, I don’t mind-”

“Wait,” You interrupt, “I’m still stuck on how I called you four times, both before I left and en route and once I got here, waited another ten minutes since I got here early because I know you like to be early, and yet somehow this is my fault.”

“Well...you should have knocked! Why wouldn’t you knock when coming into someone else’s apartment or bedroom?”

“Why didn’t you hear me coming? The floor in your hallway is a million years old, it squeaks constantly, how did you miss that?”

“Well, I was a little preoccupied.”

“Clearly.”

“You still should have knocked.”

“Why did you give me a key if you wanted me to knock? And when have you ever knocked on my door when you show up randomly? Besides, I figured you were asleep and didn’t want to wake you up while I took all your shit out to the truck.” His face softens a little, and a shy smile teases at his lips. 

“Thanks, Pumpkin,” he says quietly. Your stomach flips violently at the look on his face and you roll your eyes at it. 

“Yeah, whatever.” You pick up the clothes he already has laid out and throw them at his chest. “Get dressed, you’re buying me breakfast on the way to the cabin.”

He doesn’t protest as you leave him and gather his bags up, balancing them atop the coolers of groceries and snacks he’s no doubt made for everyone. It only takes a little finagling, but you manage to get it all downstairs and into the backseat of your truck. Fat white flakes are falling from the grey sky by the time you’re finished, and Seokjin’s nose and ears are still pink when he eventually gets in as well. You turn the heat up, just in case it’s not residual embarrassment heating his face. 

He doesn’t even say anything except a muffled thanks. After a few minutes, you’ve almost resigned yourself to an awkwardly silent car ride. 

“So…” Seokjin eventually says in a too-casual tone. “About earlier-”

“No,” You hiss before he can continue. “No we are absolutely not talking about what happened.”

“Oh, come on,” He implores as you turn into the first drive-through you can find. “It was bound to happen eventually, considering-”

“We really don’t need to talk about it,” you insist. 

“I’m just saying that I know you aren’t really one for...y’know, sexual activity,” He ignores your open-mouthed gape and continues, “But I have my own needs, and self-satisfaction is the best balance between the two that I’ve found. That said, I’m sorry you had to see it, I know it probably made you uncomfortable. Because. Y’know. Dicks.”

You’re still gawking as he finishes his spiel, and you feel a little like a fish. You surely must look like one, with your mouth hanging open in shock, your eyes as wide as saucers, and the general air of befuddlement that surrounds you. There are so many things you want to say, questions you have, all of them colliding in your brain.

“I like sexual activity just fine!” is what makes it out, just as the speaker beside your window crackles to life. There’s a long, pregnant pause in which you and Seokjin just stare at each other. 

“So...what can I get for you today?” The worker says through the speaker. You want to die, just a little, as you rattle off your order and Seokjin’s to him; the universe hates you, obviously, that’s the only real explanation here. 

“We are not talking about this,” You tell Seokjin firmly as you pull away from the speaker. Your face is still burning, but you refuse to acknowledge it. “You are paying and then we are heading to the cabin and we are not ever speaking of this again.”

He holds his hands up in defeat. You almost believe that he’s dropped the subject, but unfortunately you know him too well for that. Which is why you shoot him a warning look as you pull up to the window and he starts to say something. 

“All I was going to say is that my parents asked about you the other day. They’re mad that you haven’t been by lately.”

“I’ve been busy,” You say as you hand Seokjin’s card to the kid in the window. “I haven’t had time to visit.”

“You visit Jimin’s grandma like twice a week.”

“Yeah, well, Granny Park and I are friends. Not to mention I still have to unseat her as the reigning go champion.” You don’t mention that you’re sneaking her mistledough and cookies so that she won’t blab about the fact that you’re in love with Seokjin. Or that every time you go to his parents’ house, they end up talking about weddings and asking when you’re getting married. You can’t deal with that, not when you factor in your feelings for their son. 

“I’m just saying. You’re like a daughter to them. They miss you. I’m going by there after we get back from the cabin, and I think they’d like it if you tagged along.”

All you give him is a noncommittal grunt and several bags of fast food. You love his parents, you really do. You just wish they didn’t come with the constant reminder that Jin only sees you as a sister.

He lets you eat in silence, though, content to munch on your fries and pretend most of the morning never happened. He sings along to every song that plays on the radio, and it isn’t until you’re about thirty minutes away from the city and doing your best to navigate the roads in the worsening snow that you get suspicious. 

“When you say you like sexual activity just fine-"

“I thought we dropped this!” He sends you a look that just says ‘really?’ and continues. 

“I just want to know what you mean. Because obviously we’re on two different pages.”

“I mean that I like it just fine. I enjoy it, it’s fun, I would like to continue having it in the future. What of that is strange to you?”

“No, I just...I was under the impression that you weren’t interested in that. You never really talk about it, and you’ve never mentioned any...partners, or anything so…”

“I didn’t realize I was supposed to inform you of every person I’ve ever slept with.” You glance over at him, astounded, and are shocked to see that his lips are pursed in a frown and his brows are drawn together. You resist the urge to reach out and smooth the lines on his face. “Wait, are you actually upset about this?”

“It’s just...I’ve told you about every person I’ve slept with.” You wince a little because he’s right. You’ve heard about every single one of his sexual encounters, some of them in great detail, and you do your best not to think about them. “If I had known that you were interested, then-”

“What? You would’ve set me up with one of your friends?”

“Who was the last person?”

“What?”

“Who was the last person you had sex with?”

You look at him again, a quick glance to try to figure out if he’s being serious or not. His face is hard, an emotion you can’t place clear in the set of his jaw and the steel in his eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure there’s an actual blizzard starting around us, and you want to know who I fucked recently?”

“Yeah, I do. Fair’s fair, Pumpkin.” Something in his voice raises alarms in your head. You could insist that you don’t want to talk about it; he’d respect it if you were really serious, you know he would. There’s an edge to him right now, though, one you haven’t seen in a very long time, and you don’t like it. You want to smooth it out, sand it back into the gentle lilt you love.

“Fuck, Spice, I don’t know. That guy from the bar that one night?”

“What night? What bar?”

“I don’t fucking remember, okay? It was like...fuck, years ago, I don’t even remember what he looked like, let alone his name or what bar it was. Are you happy now? For fuck’s sake, I didn’t think I had to report to you every time I wanted to get laid. You’re my best friend, not my keeper. I didn’t think it was any of your business.”

He mumbles something under his breath that you don’t catch; between the sound of the heater going full blast and the Christmas carols he’s got blaring through your truck’s sound system, it’s hard to hear anything. Still, when you glance over at him again, something dark sits in his expression, and you’ve got a gut feeling it’s your fault. 

Things remain tense even after you arrive at the cabin. Seokjin doesn’t wait for you to help him, just loads all of his stuff into his arms and wobbles his way inside while you’re still slinging your overnight bag over your shoulder. The door slams behind you as you enter, caught by the wind of the growing storm outside, and you send what you hope is an apologetic wave to where Taehyung and Star - his girlfriend of forever and one of your closest friends - sit in the den. 

You immediately make your way to the kitchen, swiping a tin of cookies and making hot chocolate, all while ignoring the overly aggressive chopping your best friend is doing behind you. You’re sure Star and Tae aren’t surprised when you flee to the room that you’ve unofficially claimed over the years. 

You stay there for most of the day. The door stays open, just in case someone actually wants to come talk to you; you have no doubt that everyone can hear you cursing at the dog show you’re watching, and at one point you’re pretty sure you hear Namjoon’s voice steer someone away, but you can’t be sure. You don’t even want to be sure. All you really want is to know what the fuck you did to piss your best friend off and get him back to normal. 

You can’t just ask him, though, because he’ll no doubt get even angrier that you don’t already know, despite the fact that you have no way of knowing unless he actually tells you. 

Frustrated, you pick up your phone and flip uselessly through the chat you have with him, trying to find literally any explanation for how he’s acting. The group chat with all the boys plus Star and Cat has been quiet most of the day, only the offhanded comment about someone leaving now or going to be a little late. 

Your chat with just Cat and Star is almost as quiet. There’s a featured video of Seokjin blowing up at Jeongguk a bit too harshly considering the younger had just nabbed some kimchi before dinner, but that’s essentially it. You’re tempted to ask Star to get Seokjin to tell her what’s going on, but not only do you not want to drag her into whatever this is, you also know better. He wouldn’t tell her anything. She isn’t his best friend. 

As much as you’re looking forward to the rest of the night, there’s a sense of dread deep in your bones when you eventually emerge from your room. You only do so because you’re out of hot chocolate and you know that you’ll be dinner if you’re late to eat. 

You wave off Star’s curious look when she sees you; you don’t need her worrying about you, not when she’s got so much else to focus on, if the crutches leaned nearby are any indication. Hobi and Cat haven’t arrived yet, which only adds to the sinking feeling in your gut, but you brush it off. They would call if they had trouble. You know they would. Besides, Cat said they’d probably be leaving late. 

Seokjin doesn’t even look at you as you pass him to get to the dining table, and that hurts more than you’d like to admit. The real sucker punch comes once you sit down, however, when you see a mug of hot cocoa with your signature candy cane placed just to the right of your plate, only to realize that Seokjin’s mug of special coffee he loves so much is placed at the other end of the table. 

Away from you. 

Air catches in your lungs, and it sounds silly that you’re tearing up over your best friend not sitting beside you, but he always sits beside you. Always. No matter what the two of you have been fighting about, he’s always sat beside you because he likes to laugh at the faces you make about the conversations going on, and he feeds you the best bits of meat while you act annoyed about it but secretly love it. 

You knew Seokjin was upset, but you hadn’t realized he was this upset. 

Jimin sits beside you and introduces you to his neighbor, but you don’t even catch her name, just that he keeps calling her Snow and she looks at him like he’s the meal and that there’s a massive purple bruise along Jimin’s neck that you have a sneaking suspicion is her handiwork. She looks vaguely familiar, but you can’t be bothered to place her, not when Seokjin is laughing about something Star is saying and looks entirely too at home down there. 

On your other side, Namjoon and his roommate are talking about a science something or other that they’ve been working on. They’re both so invested in the conversation that neither notice Namjoon dumping the extra spicy sauce over his rice instead of the mild that he prefers. You can’t even bear to listen as he starts complaining to Seokjin that he made the food too spicy and the resulting tirade from the eldest. 

If anyone notices your sour mood, they don’t say anything. It’s not surprising, when you think about it; you’ve long been established as the grump of the group, and you don’t expect that to change, even with the girl Jeongguk brought along that seems torn between whether she actually likes him or not. 

Yoongi catches your eye at one point and you just cock a brow at him. 

“Where’s Jisoo?” You mouth at him across the table. He looks to Peaches, the girlfriend of his that you’ve only ever met once in passing, and looks back at you. You way your eyebrows at him halfheartedly and Yoongi rolls his eyes. It’s disappointing that Jisoo isn’t here. She always provides some sort of entertainment.

If nothing else, she usually provides some semblance of distraction. 

By the time dinner ends, you’re fairly positive no one knows about your spat with Seokjin, or the strange tension between the two of you. You’re sure no one noticed how you didn’t eat much of anything; everyone was too wrapped up in their own conversations and relationships to pay much attention to little old you. 

You really should know better by now.

Jimin doesn’t move from his spot beside you, even as the others begin gathering dishes and your best friend disappears into the kitchen with the promise of cookies and chocolate-covered treats in an hour or two. Snow disappears, no doubt after a silent conversation between her and Jimin, and you roll your eyes at how he watches her disappear into the room they’ve claimed. 

The two of you sit in silence; it’s a game of wits, almost. You know he knows something is up, but you also know that he knows you aren’t one to just offer up your thoughts. But he knows that you know that, and he knows you know he isn’t going to let it go because he can tell something is actually bothering you this time. 

“So are we going to talk about why Seokjin has been so pissy all day and how there’s been a notable lack of Pumpkin by his side, or are we going to continue to pretend that everything’s fine like we did through dinner?”

You wish you were better able to resist him. Maybe your time with his grandmother has weakened you to him, and maybe you should work on being less transparent with him, but either way, you slump in your chair and set your empty mug of hot chocolate down with a thump. You still send him a glare that he smiles through and make a mental note to tell Granny Park that there’s a reason for his sudden need for scarves that she should ask him about. 

“We had a fight.” You eventually grumble, eyes darting to where Seokjin stands over in the kitchen, dipping marshmallows, pretzels, and other treats into melted chocolate. “I think.”

“You think?”

It doesn’t take very long for you to recount the day’s events to him. You even tell him about The Incident from that morning that you walked in on, because once you start talking you can’t seem to stop until he knows it all. 

“And now he’s pissed, I think at me, but I can’t figure out why. I mean, it wasn’t any of his business, but you know how I am with him, so it’s not like I could just not tell him, but I don’t understand why it pissed him off.” You huff a little. The frustration with everything that rolls in your stomach collides with the hurt you feel over Seokjin snubbing you, and it’s so distracting that you almost miss Jimin’s careful whisper of your name. 

“Have you ever considered just asking him?” Jimin says softly. “I’m pretty sure having an actual conversation with him would fix this whole thing.”

“But…” You hesitate, twisting a stray thread from your sweater between your fingers. “Jimin, what if he hates me?” 

There’s a vulnerability to your voice that you hate, one that only Seokjin, Jimin, and Granny Park have ever seen. It’s rare, mostly because you hate feeling vulnerable, but it makes Jimin’s eyes soften ever so slightly even as he bursts into a fit of giggles so powerful that he almost falls out of his chair. 

“This is not helping!” You hiss, shooting a look at where Seokjin is rolling out chocolate chip cookie dough. He doesn’t look up at Jimin’s outburst, but his lips twitch ever so slightly into a frown and the crease between his brows deepens. 

You know that look, too well. It’s his ‘I Do Not Care Even Though I Actually Do But I Don’t Want You To Know I Care” look. You saw it frequently when he first went off to college, when he was constantly worrying about all the boys he left behind in that little cul-de-sac. You really hoped it wouldn’t ever come back. 

“I’m sorry,” Jimin says eventually, wiping a tear away from one eye. “I really am, I promise, I’m just. Oh, I think I might lose a bet.”

“What? How is that helpful, Jimin? Y’know what, where’s that dumb dog thing Yoongi made you, I need to smush its face until I feel better--”

“What you need,” Jimin says as he places a gentle hand on your shoulder to sit you back down in your chair, “Is to stop abusing my lovingly crafted plushies and actually talk to Seokjin.”

“I can’t tell him how I feel, you know this Chim-”

“Did I say confess?” Jimin asks as he stands, eyes flickering to where his neighbor-slash-girlfriend(?) is in their room. “Just talk to him. I mean really talk to him, okay, about why he’s upset. I think you’ll be surprised.”

Jimin doesn’t give you a chance to protest; he’s gone and disappeared down the hallway before you can blink, and you don’t want to know what’s happening in that room. 

Eventually you meander over to where Seokjin is sliding cookies out of the oven, each perfectly placed to allow for the perfect bake. You putter around for a minute or two, opening and closing cabinet doors at random. You aren’t finding anything interesting, certainly not the strength to have this conversation, which is why you’re startled when someone says, “It’s all the way to the left.”

You turn, and Seokjin is absently stirring leftover melted chocolate. When you fail to move, too busy staring at him in confusion, he turns and points to a cabinet beside you. “The cocoa,” He says, “It’s all the way to the left.”

“Thanks,” You mumble as you move toward it. Inside is a box of candy canes and a weathered tin that you recognize from Seokjin’s apartment. Its twin sits in the bakery, right beside the register so that it’s close at hand for when you inevitably come thundering in with a storm cloud above your head. Each holds the special cocoa recipe that Seokjin learned from his grandfather, who learned it from his grandfather. 

You chance a glance at your best friend; he knows how much you love that cocoa. The people in this cabin right now are the only people he’ll make it for - save for Hoseok and Cat, who still haven’t arrived. Seokjin’s ears are burning red, and a weaker person - or at least one less accustomed to him - may have cooed at the sight. But you’ve spent too long building up the walls so that he’ll never find out just what you keep tucked away in your heart. 

“I’m-”

“Sorry.” He finishes for you. “I know you are. And...I forgive you.” You nod at his words; you couldn’t even hazard a guess as to what had actually upset him, but you’re glad he’s forgiven you for it. Still, it nags at you, because what if it happens again? Unlikely, considering you haven’t been able to get laid in actual years because you’re too smitten with the man standing across from you, but still. 

“Are you going to tell me why you were upset, or are you just going to play with chocolate all night?” You eventually ask. He sighs, heavy and long, and turn to lean back on the counter beside you. He’s wearing his ridiculous alpaca apron that you got him for his birthday, and that only makes him more beautiful as he considers what he wants to say. 

Your heart lurches painfully in your chest. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted, and it almost feels like he’s close enough to touch, but you just can’t seem to let your hand reach out to do so. You think if you could, you might be able to grab him and hold on forever, but something deep in your gut stills you. 

The fear of losing him, of losing everything that you have with him right now - late nights at the bakery, shopping for birthday presents, the quiet moments in a chaotic world where you find peace in each other. As much as it hurts to love him, as hard as it is to speak around the words that strangle in your throat that speak truth to every feeling you’ve ever locked in the recesses of your heart, you can’t risk telling him. Because this pining and loving and eventually watching him grow old with someone he loves?

That’s enough for you. 

“I just got jealous, I suppose,” Seokjin eventually says. “I always thought that you weren’t interested in sex, y’know? You mentioned it once in college that you’d tried it, but your little half-frown was there, so I knew you didn’t like it, because you get the same one every time you eat gingerbread because you hate it but you don’t want me to get disappointed that you aren’t eating the houses I make. I just thought it wasn’t something you wanted in life.”

“Um.”

“Which is obviously fine, sex isn’t for everyone, asexual people exist and are valid, as are those that are sex-repulsed, y’know? And I decided a long time ago when I first looked into it all that I didn’t care about sex in a relationship. That’s not the important thing to being partners with someone. But apparently sex is a thing for you, and I just wish I had known that because all this time I could’ve-”

“What, set me up with your friends?” 

“No, definitely not. It’s just that we...I could have...it just hurts to know that you’ll have sex with other people but not with me, even though I respect that it’s your decision to make.”

“What.”

“But I just...I know I’m not entitled to an explanation, but I can’t lie, I would really appreciate one if you can give it. I mean...I dunno, I know that I had sex with other people, but we had that whole conversation in college about it, and you seemed alright with it, so I did. And I always told you about them, because communication and openness is important, and I wanted you to know that I was respecting your boundaries with that while also satisfying my own needs. But it really did feel weird, because...y’know, so I stopped. And I guess I assumed that if you weren’t fucking me, you weren’t fucking anyone.”

“What.”

“I just really care about you, Pumpkin, and I know I know don’t really say it a lot because I’m more of a ‘showing it’ kind of guy, but...I just would have appreciated knowing that. Especially since I’ve always been more than willing to love you like that.”

“Spice,” You say slowly, being careful to keep your face blank. “What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

Seokjin blinks at you owlishly. “What do you mean ‘what am I talking about,’ I thought I was pretty clear. I mean...yeah, I’d love it if you would have sex with me, but that’s your decision, and I’m curious as to your reasoning and logic. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, which is why I forgave you, because as much as it stings, it’s your choice. And I love you, as you know, so-”

“How would I possibly know that?” Your voice catches a little on the words, probably because you’re having a little trouble actually breathing. Everything is fuzzy and the words ‘I’d love it if you would have sex with me’ and ‘I love you’ are playing on a loop in your brain. Your entire world has just shifted on its axis, and yet Seokjin looks completely unbothered. 

“Maybe because I’ve put up with you so long?” He teases with a fond smile. “I mean, I know we aren’t the type to say the words very often, but c’mon Pumpkin. We’ve been dating since you were twelve, not many would last that long without even a kiss.”

“We haven’t been together since I was twelve, though.” He raises a brow at your confused tone. 

“Okay, thirteen, then.” He says. The confusion on your face must be apparent, because it begins to bleed into his, the beautiful features morphing to mirror your own. 

“Seokjin, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We aren’t dating.”

His expression only gets more confused. 

“Uh, yes we are?”

“Uh, no we aren’t? When the fuck did that happen?”

“When you were twelve, as I said. I asked you to be my girlfriend.”

“I feel like I would have remembered that happening.”

“Then you should go to a doctor, because it definitely did. It was the best day of my life. We were sitting on the playground, it was recess, you were upset.”

“I remember none of that.”

“You cannot possibly have forgotten this!” Seokjin exclaims. “I cheered you up and offered you my cookie, which you ate in like two bites even though I had made it with salt instead of sugar and it had to be disgusting, because some girl had knocked your cupcake into the dirt-”

“Park Sooyoung, that bitch, I remember that-”

“And then,” Seokjin continues, ignoring your outburst, “I was so deeply honored that you ate that disgusting thing that I offered you the equal honor of being my girlfriend. And you nodded and I kissed your cheek and then you punched me in the arm - which hurt, I might add, for days - and then I watched you play Pokemon Sapphire on your Gameboy Advance.”

The memory rushes in, though not exactly how he remembers it. Park Sooyoung had knocked your cupcake out of your hands and into the dirt, and you had been so mad about it that you’d started to cry. Seokjin found you, curled under a tree away from everyone else, and when he eventually learned what upset you, he’d told Sooyoung off like no one had ever seen. And then he’d handed you the best cookie you’ve ever eaten.

You think maybe that was when you first started falling for Seokjin. With the salty cookie that masked the taste of your own tears, and the angry tirade he had gone on despite the two of you not having known each other for very long, with the wide smile and squeaky laugh and ears so red and cute that you couldn’t focus on whatever he was saying and just nodded along to it. 

“Well...why didn’t you say anything since then?” A thought crosses your mind, and it so horror-filled that you have to ask. “Do the guys know?”

“If they do, it’s not because I told them,” Seokjin answers easily. “When you introduced yourself as my friend, I figured you were just a very private person and didn’t want to rub it in their faces or something.”

“Is that why you always drag me along when you, Hobi, Tae, Cat, and Star go out for karaoke?”

“Obviously,” He scoffs. “What could be better than a triple date with your two best friends?”

“Literally anything! Hobi and Cat sing each other the most raunchy things I’ve ever heard, and Tae does all those weepy ballads or indie songs nobody recognizes, and Star’s got those dopey love eyes all night, it’s revolting.”

“You mean like those faces you make at me when you think I won’t notice?”

“I-” You huff, at a loss. “Well what about the other day, with that girl at Mistledough you were flirting with, who was flirting back and-” Realization hits you. “And she’s Jimin’s neighbor girlfriend lady!”

“Pumpkin. Are you serious right now?” He gives you a dry look, but there’s amusement written all over it. “You’ve heard my sales pitch a hundred times. You’ve given my sales pitch a hundred times, albeit with a little more of a monotone and general ‘I’ll kill you’ vibe to it. It was just so she’d buy all the treats I could possibly sell her.”

You make a small ‘hmph’ noise that you aren’t exactly proud of, but makes Seokjin laugh. He pulls you into a warm hug, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you there. It’s a little awkward, because your arms are still crossed over your chest, but he doesn’t seem to mind and despite all the muttered complaints you give him, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. 

“So…” Jin says in a too-casual tone after a few minutes. You muffle a groan into his chest, already preparing for the worst. “What kind of sex are you into?”

“Oh my god,” You mumble.

“Wait, you’re right, I’m getting ahead of myself.” He clears his throat and stands to his full height. When he looks at you again, his eyes are full of something you can’t place exactly, but it makes your heart skip nonetheless when he says your full name. “Will you do me the honor of officially becoming my girlfriend? Again?”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes and nod. The grin takes over his face is blinding, worth all the trouble from the day, as is the soft kiss he presses to your cheek. You can’t help but huff when he pulls away from it, even, and he raises an amused brow at it. 

“Does this mean I can finally kiss you the way I’ve been dreaming of forever?” 

You do roll your eyes this time, but you let your fingers dance over his jaw and pull him into a gentle kiss. His lips are softer than they look, which you truly didn’t think was possible, and the way they mold and move with yours is warm and tender. You don’t even know how long you spend kissing Seokjin. Time isn’t real, not now, not with him pulling you closer and pressing warm against you like every single daydream you’ve let yourself have. 

Years of repressed urges and desire come out before you can stop them, though. Your hands move down to rest on Seokjin’s impossibly tiny waist, slipping behind his apron to tease at the waistband of his slacks. Why he insists everyone wear nice clothes to dinner, you couldn’t possibly say, but they make his ass look phenomenal so you never complain. 

The kisses become more heated, his tongue dipping out to taste your lips for a moment. Hands find their way to your ass and palm it greedily, and he tugs you flush against him. A hard length is pressing into you, and you don’t have to guess to know it's not the rolling pin. 

Images - memories - flash through your mind of that morning. Your mouth waters and you pull back from Seokjin. Panting, lips swollen from kisses, and half-lidded eyes, he's never looked better. 

"Can I suck your dick?"

He groans low in his throat and his eyes fall closed. "Fuck, Pumpkin, right here? Anyone could walk by." You drop to your knees as your hands undo the clasp on the pants. 

"Doubtful, they're probably having that post-dinner nap, or playing some game." Anxiety pools in your gut; you know quite a bit about what Seokjin likes in bed, but you've never been sure if exhibitionism is on that list. "Does it make you uncomfortable? I don't have to. I've just been thinking about it all day." 

Seokjin barks out a quick laugh and shakes his head. "No," He says, "I definitely would love for you to suck my dick in this kitchen if you want to."

"Good." You flip his apron to the side and tug his cock out of its confines. You don't bother dropping his pants all the way; there's no time, you're too impatient. "Let me know if anyone shows up." 

Whatever he's about to say gets cut off by a sharp intake of breath as you warp your lips around the head of him. One of his hands moves to grip the counter behind him and the other rests lightly on your crown; he doesn't pull or tug, just keeps his hand as a gentle pressure as you sink him deeper into your mouth.

As much as you've never been one for sucking dick, you're in heaven. There's no other explanation for why it feels this good to have him sitting heavy against your tongue as he hits the back of your throat. There are still two inches left so you wrap your hand around it and hollow your cheeks as you pull back. 

A strangled moan escapes him, and his fingers tighten ever so slightly in your hair. Heat floods to your core and you kick yourself internally because you could have been doing this for years. Your tongue darts out to slide teasingly along the underside of his cock and he reflexively thrusts into your mouth. 

You cough a little and pull back, wiping spit from your lips as you catch your breath, and Seokjin is already spewing apologies. 

“I’m fine,” You say as you sit back against the cabinet, tugging him to stand in front of you. His back is to most of the kitchen and your head rests against the hard wood behind you while you eye the hard wood in front of you. “I can take a little bit of roughness, Spice, don’t worry.”

He looks hesitant so you ghost your fingers along his length to tease him. His jaw clenches at the same time his eyes close and you resist the urge to smile. Tension bleeds out of his shoulders and when he opens his eyes again, he quirks a brow in a silent question and you nod. 

In seconds, he’s in your throat once more, thrusting himself in and out at a slow pace that makes you clench with the desire to feel it elsewhere. You hollow your cheeks and suck properly as he fucks your throat, and he muffles another moan.

“Fuck, Pumpkin, please don’t stop,” Seokjin whines quietly. You smile, just a little, and take him back into your throat for a few seconds before pulling back and repeating the process. Each time he hits the back of your throat, he lets out a muffled groan that only makes you wetter. His cock is thick and your jaw aches and you’re struggling to breathe just a little bit, but the fucked out expression on his face is more than worth it. 

Something clatters in the hallway and you freeze, Seokjin’s cock sheathed to the hilt in your throat. His ears turn red and he starts to pull back, but you stop him with a hand on his thigh. He looks down at you, surprised, and you chance a wink that makes him chuckle. 

Footsteps make their way past, giggles following close behind, and you hear the door leading to the hot tub open and close. After a few seconds of silence, Seokjin relaxes, pulling out of your throat. You take a few deep breaths and glance over to the door, curious. 

“Jimin and Snow,” He tells you, one hand absently stroking along your cheek. “We probably shouldn’t use the hot tub tonight.” 

You wrinkle your nose. “Why would I want to anyway? Have you heard Namjoon’s lecture on what could potentially grow in a hot tub if it isn’t sanitized regularly? It’s not a fun lecture.” Seokjin laughs, squeaky and adorable, and helps you to your feet. He doesn’t hesitate to pepper kisses along your cheeks, and you wrinkle your nose even as tilt your head so he can get the places he missed. 

“Now when you said that you can handle a little roughness…” Seokjin says, voice a soft murmur in your ear. You make a small hum of affirmation, encouraging him to continue. “Does that mean I can spank you for not finishing blowing me, or is that something you’d rather not do?”

“Fuck, Seokjin,” You hiss, rubbing your thighs together. “Now you have to do it.”

He’s got you turned around in an instant, your fancy dress pants on the ground a few seconds later. His hands mold to your ass, cupping the flesh briefly through your underwear before letting his hands fall away. 

It’s methodical and slow and torturous, how he peels away that last layer keeping him from your wetness. You know that the fabric is soaked through, it has been since you first got his dick in your mouth, and Seokjin groans at the sight. 

“Even better than I imagined,” He mutters. Your cheeks heat in a rare blush, and you drop your head down between where your forearms are braced against the countertop. His hand smacks against your ass, lightly, and you choke back a laugh. Is that really what he thinks a spank is?

Another slap hits you, no real force behind it, and you scoff under your breath. 

“What?” Seokjin asks. When you look back at him, he’s expectant, like he knows what you’re about to say. 

“Is that what you call a slap?” You ask. He rolls his eyes and pulls his hand back for another. It already looks unsatisfying, and you can’t help but push him a little further. “I always wondered why your dough doesn’t rise high enough. Guess I know now.”

His eyes darken and a chill comes over you. 

“Oh, is that how this is gonna be?” He asks. He gestures for you to face forward again and you do, curious as to the dark look in his eyes. 

Something hard and cold smacks into your ass, and you yelp in surprise. There’s a little more force behind it, enough to sting pleasantly but not enough to hurt. 

“Is that better, Pumpkin?” He asks. There’s a mocking tone to his voice, but when you look back, you can see the slant of his lips and tension in his jaw that shows he’s concerned. The rolling pin from earlier rests in his hands, and it flares something in your gut. 

“Much,” You tell him as you turn back around. He spanks you with it again, and again, and again, and it isn’t until you feel something wet drip down the back of your leg that you remember the chocolate he was fucking around with earlier. 

“If you get that on my nice clothes, I will destroy you,” You warn him. He laughs a little and there’s a thump as the rolling pin hits the countertop. 

“Is that code for get me naked?” He asks, a laugh in his voice. 

“No, that’s code for lick it up and then fuck my brains out.” 

The laugh in his throat quickly becomes a growl and he sets to work doing just that. His tongue runs over your skin, gently lapping at the chocolate there, and several times he gets distracted leaving purple marks in his wake. He even slides tongue along your slit, long and thorough and quick, and you almost come just from the obscene moan he lets out. 

"Fuck, please, I need you," You gasp out. Seokjin slides a hand under your shirt, massaging the muscles in your back as he does, and stands to his full height.

"Let me know if it hurts," He says softly. His voice is a whisper against your ear and it's never sounded quite so wrecked or beautiful. "I'll stop, okay?"

"If you don't get inside me in the next five seconds, I will go ask Jimin and Snow if I can join them in their kinky hot tub," you growl. 

He curses quietly and thrusts his length inside you. Neither of you are quite prepared for what it feels like, and the moment he gets buried to the hilt, he stills. 

"Shit, Pumpkin, I'm not gonna last long," He mutters. You can't even manage words. The stretch is absolutely blissful, just on the right side of painful when paired with the sting of your still-tender ass. He's the perfect height for this, too; perfectly lined up without either of you having to try very hard. 

He pulls almost entirely out, leaving just the dusty pink head you remember inside. There's not even a chance to whine at the loss, because before you know it, he's slamming back in. 

Seokjin's pace is erratic and harried; there's no smooth strokes here. You're both in too much of a rush, too drunk on the pleasure to want anything but release. 

Hands move along your skin, one lifting your shirt so he can pepper kisses along your spine while the other reaches down to gently tweak your clit. 

It takes three swipes of his finger to have your knees shaking with the power of your orgasm. You clench around him and he stills. You can't think, your brain is absolutely fried at this point; all you know is the feeling of him inside you and the disappointing emptiness when he pulls out. 

Warmth hits your back and Seokjin's moans echo in your ears. You're almost afraid to turn around, afraid this is some hyper-realistic dream.

"Shit, hold on, let me clean this up," he says, panting. You can hear him moving through the kitchen and when he comes back, something cold and wet slides along your back. 

You wait patiently as he cleans you up. He wipes away every instance of cum and chocolate from your skin - though he looks a little disappointed to be doing so, which you file away for later. 

"God, that's so much fucking cum," You say, wrinkling your nose at the mass of wet wipes he tosses in the trash while you fasten your pants once more. 

It's just in time, too, as Jimin and Snow come in from the hot tub, smiling and giggly with each other. 

"Ah," Jimin says, looking between you and Seokjin. "I did lose a bet. Damn, she's gonna be so pleased with herself."

You glare at him, but there's no real heat behind it. The two of them disappear to get dressed in actual clothes, and you and Seokjin set to work plating the cookies and treats he'd made. 

You can't stop the fond look at the rolling pin every few minutes. 

Later, after you discover Cat and Hobi have arrived safely and you make sure they actually eat the plates set aside for them, you're on the hunt for Seokjin. He's disappeared somewhere and it's almost time for the countdown. 

You finally find him - where else - in the kitchen, making a horrified face at Namjoon. 

"What? It was good," Namjoon says with a frown. Seokjin just waves him off and Namjoon shrugs, grabbing a couple glasses of champagne and heading back to Slick. 

You sidle up to him as close as you can get and he wraps an arm around your waist like it's second nature. It's surreal, that the man you love is pressing a kiss to your temple and handing you a mug of cocoa. 

"I'm glad we talked," He says eventually. You hum your agreement; you aren't looking at him, just staring down into your cocoa as you absently stir it with a candy cane, but you do lean into him ever so slightly. "Remind me to bake Jimin a cake."

"Why? What's he done to deserve a cake?"

"He helped me out earlier, while I was cooking dinner. Helped me figure out how to say what I needed to, that sort of thing."

Your face shoots up as your heart clenches in your chest. "Jimin," You echo. "Jimin is why you decided to talk about your feelings." Seokjin just nods, eyes wide and not understanding why you have murder in your eyes. 

"I'm gonna kill him so hard-" You say, already setting your mug down and turning to go find that short gremlin and skin him alive. You don't get two steps before a hand comes to rest on your shoulder, heavy but gentle. 

Seokjin pulls you closer to him, a smile playing on his lips as he does. "Why would you want to kill Jimin for that, Pumpkin?"

"Because!" You exclaim. "Jimin's the only one that knows that I-"

The words tangle in your throat, cloying together into a ball you can't seem to unwind. You're too used to choking it down. You don't know how to say it. 

"That you love me?" Seokjin finishes. You can't bear to look at him, huffing slightly as you turn to stare out the kitchen window at the snow-covered trees beyond. 

Seokjin's hand glides down your arm to wrap around your own, tangling his fingers with yours. With a grace you tend to forget he has, he brings them both upwards until he can press a soft kiss in the center of your palm. 

"Jimin isn't the only one that knows that, Pumpkin," He says quietly. You can feel your ears burning, a pleasant contrast from how it's usually him embarrassed and red. 

"Whatever," you grumble, giving up on your mission to brutally murder one of your best friends. Seokjin laughs, loud and squeaky and wonderful, and pulls you into another hug. 

"I love you too," He whispers. "Now, let's go join the others. I believe you owe me several years of kisses."

"You wish," You mutter half-heartedly. He hands you your cocoa and pats your still-sore ass with a wink.

"That's a great move."

"Really?"

"Yes." There's a pause as she waits for you to remove your fingers from the piece. "If you want to lose."

You offer her a weak glare that she ignores as she studies the board. 

"I'm glad that you and Seokjinnie finally got things figured out. It was very cute to watch, but it was getting a little ridiculous, you know." 

She moves a piece, and you squint to try to help you figure out her strategy. 

"Right, it had nothing to do with your bet with Jimin," You say sarcastically as you move another piece. You eye her, one finger still remaining on it, to try to figure out if it's what she expected. 

"Of course not," She says as you remove your hand. "That was merely a bonus." She immediately lays a piece, gaining even more of an advantage than she already had. 

"Well then," You start as you lay another piece, "I'm sure you know all about Jimin and his neighbor, and Star and Tae I don't need to tell you anything about Yoongi or Cat or Jeongguk, either, probably." 

Her fingers hesitate over the piece she's picking up, and her eyes narrow at you. 

"Ah, don't be so cruel. You're supposed to respect your elders, you know."

"Alright, Granny Park," You say with a rare grin as you glance to where Seokjin is baking a ‘sorry we fucked in your kitchen’ cake and decoration some sugar-free cookies for her. "What exactly do you want to know?

[avis-writeshq]

Akaashi Keiji x Reader: Your Text (Coffee Shop AU)

Requested: No

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Fem!Reader (Coffee Shop AU)

Summary: “Hey pretty stranger, I think you look cute. Can I get your number? I wanna know you~”

Warnings: Fluff and trash writing

Other: Based on the song ‘Your Text’ by Sundial. Also might have gotten some inspo from my Akaashi anon >.< so Keiji, if you’re reading this… I hope you like it lmao

Word count: 750                                                        

 Things you probably wanna know, for all you ‘x reader’ illiterates:

(Y/N): Your Name

(H/C): Hair Colour / Color

(E/C): Eye Colour / Color

(N/N): Nickname

 ***

You started going to a café near the train station ever since you entered your second year of high school. Every Wednesday afterschool you would go to the cute little café near the station as you waited for your train. While you were there, you did the usual – do a little homework, buy a little treat, talk to the friendly staff members who deserved a pay rise. It was comfortable, it was cosy, and it was practically home… until you noticed him.

 He was sitting next to a window with another boy with frosted tips, sipping from the drink that was served to him just moments ago.

 You would be lying if you said he was unattractive. Even from the other side of the café, you could see his piercing gunmetal blue eyes. You don’t realise how long you’ve been staring when his eyes flickered to yours for a split second. Cheeks flushing a deep red, you looked back at your textbook in embarrassment.

 And so an endless cycle of rinse and repeat began. Every Wednesday afternoon in the cute little café by the station, you would cast longing and meaningful glances from one side of the café to the other, all hopefully discreetly.

 “You’re insane,” Aneko grumbled to herself as she plopped beside you one afternoon. “How long have you been watching him again?”

 “A month now… technically that’s only four times so it’s not that bad,” you huffed defensively.

 She gave you an unamused look. “You do realise that counts as stalking, right?”

 Your eyes widened in alarm. You quickly scrambled to pack up your things but she placed a hand on your forearm gently. “(Y/N), I’m joking.”

 You relaxed, easing into your chair. “Don’t scare me like that, Aneko. That’s not very nice.”

 “Look, that’s beside the point. Why haven’t you talked to him?”

 “For multiple reasons! He’s completely out of my league – he’s literally the epitome of perfection while I’m a sitting potato sack.” You groaned, burying your face in your arms. “Not to mention the fact that he’s always accompanied by his friends. Aneko, you know I’m too awkward to go up to a group of people and just talk!”

 The brunette rolled her eyes. “Look, I’ll go with you. It’ll be fine. Just ask for his number and then we can go back to studying.”

 “I can’t, Aneko! I don’t want to do it while he’s with his friends. You know how people change depending on who they’re with!”

 “You’re hopeless.”

 “You already said that,” you pouted in frustration. “I’ll do it if he comes alone. I promise.”

 As you took your seat on the train, Aneko gave you a gentle smile. “I think he likes you too.”

 Eyes wide, you looked at her in surprise. “Really? You think so?”

 She nodded, leaning back in her seat, her arms wrapped around her bag. “He kept looking at you, I noticed. And whenever he did there was this little smile on his face.”

 You felt your cheeks redden. “R-Really?”

 “I’m really happy for you, (Y/N)! When you both get together, we have to have a double date.”

 “Of course! If it happens, okay?”

 It was just your luck that the following week, he came to the café unaccompanied. Your cheeks burned as you considered your options. Not ask for his number and then regret it after that, as well as having to deal with Aneko’s constant berating. That, or ask for his number and have a chance of getting rejected by the cute café guy you see every Wednesday. You inwardly groaned, bonking your head on the table, attracting strange looks from a few customers, as well as the cute café guy.

 What did you have to lose? Your dignity, your sanity, your confidence… the list seemed to go on. What did you have to gain? A maybe boyfriend.

 Mustering up all the courage you can, you looked up, only to find that the cute café guy was already packing his things. Well, there goes your chance.

 That is, until he began to walk towards you, ears red from embarrassment but it made him all the more attractive. “Is… is this seat taken?”

 Eyes wide as you took a moment to process his words; you briskly nodded, tidying up your table to give him more room.

 “Sorry. About the mess, I mean,” you said, your brain currently learning how to speak again.

 “It’s alright. Um, do you mind if I ask for your number?”

*** 

Copyright Disclaimer:

All characters except for the reader and my OC’s (listed below) are the work of Haruichi Furudate (古館春一). This is not part of the canon work by any means. I do not claim ownership over the characters or the Haikyuu storyline and plot. Without Furudate Sensei’s work, myself as well as many other writers are unable to create these stories.

 My OC’s:

Fukuhara Aneko(福原あねこ)

Hasegawa Sakura (長谷川さくら)

Emiko Etsudo (えつどうえみこ)

Tachibana Reina (橘れいな)

[shadowywerewolfqueen]

Sweet Ride

For Suptober Day 10: Sweet Ride

“Did you see the awesome motorcycle parked in the staff parking lot in front of the astronomy building, the one with the solar system painted on it?” a student asked from the front row of Dean Winchester’s Advanced Mechanical Engineering class.

“Yeah, dude, it’s so fucking lifelike! The details are astounding, I mean the paint job is better than some of the satellite images we have of the planets,” another student replied.

The first student looked at Dean who was pulling up the PowerPoint for the day’s lecture. “Hey, Professor Winchester, it looks like you might not have the sweetest ride on campus anymore.”

Dean looked up and grinned as he thought about his precious car. He owned a 1967 black Chevy Impala and he treated her like the queen she was. “Well, Ms. Adams, I’d have to disagree with you. Ain’t no motorcycle going to be able to compete with my Baby.”

“I don’t know, have you seen this bike? It looks like it was custom built along with the custom paint job. Do you happen to know who it belongs to?” the other student asked.

Dean smirked. “Sorry, Ms. Davis but I don’t. I got here pretty early this morning because of a project I was working on. When I find out, I’ll be sure to let you know.” Dean finished pulling his lecture up before saying, “Alright, guys, hush up and sit your butts in a seat. Time to get started.”

Once Dean’s three morning lectures were over, he packed his bag and headed to his office. He worked on grading his classes’ latest rounds of projects and inputting grades into the computer. He was so caught up in his work, he didn’t realize how late it was until there was a knock on his door.

He looked up and called, “Come in.”

The door swung open and Dean smiled at seeing who was standing in the doorway. “Hey, baby. I lost track of time; Sorry for not meeting you after your lecture.”

Castiel Winchester shook his head as he walked into Dean’s office, shutting the door behind him. He walked right up to his husband and bent over to slide his lips against Dean’s in a short but tender kiss. “It’s ok. I got caught up with a student anyways. Did you still want to take the rest of the day off?”

Dean leaned back in his chair, pulling Cas into his lap. “Of course I do. It’s your birthday and I have every intention of making it the best birthday ever.”

Cas rubbed his nose against Dean’s as he whispered, “That’s code for we’re going home and having awesome sex aren’t we.”

“You know it,” Dean said as he looked lovingly at Cas. He couldn’t help but grin at the man he loved. Cas was not what one would expect when then they thought of a college astronomy professor. The tips of his hair alternated between being dyed blue or green, he had piercings in his ears, and he had tattoos on both arms. Dean was unable to resist running his fingers along the bees and flowers on one arm and the constellations on the other. 

Dean wasn’t the most stereotypical professor either. While he didn’t dye his hair or pierce his ears, he did have a nose piercing and a lip ring. He also had tattoos on both his arms. One was a green dragon wrapping around from his wrist to his shoulder. The other, a bass guitar with the names of his favorite bands on it and musical notes swirling around it. Dean also never wore suits and ties, preferring his jeans, plaid shirts, and leather jacket.

The college Dean and Cas worked for had been hesitant when it first hired them, afraid of how their appearance would affect the fellow staff and students. By the end of their first semester teaching, the college begged them to pick up more classes as there were lines of students wanting to take their classes. They were now going on their tenth year of teaching.

“Dean, where’d you run off to sweetheart?” Cas asked, reaching up to cup his husband’s jaw.

Dean shook his head. “Sorry, baby, got lost in thoughts of you as usual. Happy birthday, Cas. I love you to the moon and back.”

Cas smiled as he leaned forward and kissed Dean. “I love you to the stars and back.”

After they shared a few more kisses, Dean pulled away. “So, I have your gift.”

Cas tilted his head. “I thought you said you didn’t buy me anything.”

Dean smirked. “I didn’t. I made it and painted it myself.” 

Dean loved being a college professor, but he had a few hobbies he was very passionate about just like Cas. Cas was obsessed with bees and gardening meaning their house and yard was an array of color all year round. Meanwhile, Dean worked on cars at his Uncle Bobby’s garage and painted in his freetime. He had actually sold a few of his pieces and sometimes did commissions for close friends and family.

“Is this the project you’ve been working on that’s been making you come into work so early for the past few weeks?” Cas asked with a grin.

“Maybe,” Dean said coyly.

Cas slid from his husband’s lap. “In that case, let’s go see. I already dropped my bag off in my car before I came over. I may have gotten a little distracted by this awesome motorcycle that was sitting in the parking lot. It’s custom built with the most amazing paint job of the planets and the solar system.”

Dean stacked his papers together and slid them in his bag before shutting his computer down. He hefted his bag on his shoulder and grabbed Cas’ hand as they walked out the office. “Sounds like an awesome bike. Whoever owns it is super lucky.”

Cas sighed. “I’d say. I wish I could afford a bike like that. I mean I love my jeep, but you know having a motorcycle has been a dream of mine.”

Dean pecked Cas on the cheek as they walked towards the staff parking lot. “I know baby. Hopefully, you’ll have your own bike someday.”

“It’s ok sweetheart. As long as I have you, that’s all that matters. Now, I thought you were going to show me my gift,” Cas said, confusion evident in his voice.

“I am,” Dean said with a grin.

Cas looked around. They had arrived at the parking lot and there was nothing but the usual cars and trucks. He could make out his Jeep parked next to Dean’s Impala and of course his eyes lingered on the motorcycle he was telling his husband about. Other than the bike, there was nothing out of the ordinary. “I don’t see anything.”

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand and started walking towards their cars. He came to a stop right in front of the bike. “So, you like this bike, huh? I couldn’t imagine why Mr. Astronomy Geek.”

Cas shoved him lightly in the shoulder. “So, I love looking at the stars. It’s not like you don’t drool over some blueprints and three-D printers.”

“Do you want your present or not?” Dean asked with a laugh.

Cas chuckled. “I’m sorry. Yes, I would.”

Dean stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a key ring with two keys hanging from it. He grabbed Cas’ hand and dropped the keys in it. He nodded towards the bike and said, “Happy birthday baby.”

Cas’ eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open in surprise. “Wait, the bike is mine? But how? We can’t afford something like this with the house payment and my jeep payment.”

Dean stuck his finger over Cas’ lips, effectively silencing him. “You can when your awesome husband built and painted it for you. I promised Chuck I’d pick up some extra classes over the summer and asked for an advance on the paychecks. When I explained why, he was happy to do so. She’s all yours Cas.”

Cas threw his arms around Dean’s neck and sealed their lips together. He slipped his tongue inside Dean’s mouth and deepened the kiss. When they finally broke apart, both of them were panting. “Dean, this is the most awesome gift I’ve ever gotten! Thank you so much! I love you!”

“I love you too, Cas. Now we have the sweetest rides on campus although Baby is still better,” Dean said a little defensively.

“I might have to disagree with you on that one, but I’ll admit they are both sweet rides,” Cas said before once more sealing their mouths together. Best birthday ever!

[withlovekth]

Darkroom (Part Six)

Part One / Two / Three / Four / Five

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader Genre: artist! taehyung, best friend! jimin, college au, fluff, smut, angst Contains: swearing, suicide mention Word Count: 3.2k

Author’s Note: Okay, honestly this was supposed to be a stand alone one shot that I wrote three years after I had stopped writing Darkroom but my housemate inspired me to rewrite it to fit because she didn’t want me to abandon it, so here we are.

You couldn’t help but constantly come back to a city that reminded you of him, all because of a conversation you had years ago in his nearly empty room. Given opportunities, a steady job, free housing— Who would pass up a chance like that? You thought, maybe, he would.

Is that what you’re still up to these days?

You shoved your hands into your coat pockets. A stream of air visibly left your lips as you aimlessly walked by random store fronts. Your reflection reminded you of a time where you stupidly started smoking because you hoped it’d help you stop thinking about him. But thinking about him also made you stop smoking. Maybe he would have told you to quit anyway.

Was that the kind of person you were? It’s getting harder to remember.

Every time you’re here, you’d make an excuse to explore as if you haven’t seen all the touristy spots the first time around. A part of you hoped you’d run into him, but the thought of your paths crossing filled you up with anxiety. You’d fantasize what you’d say to him. If, that is, you’d say anything at all. Most of the time all the daydreaming would leave you a complete mess, whether it was a bubbling one or a sobbing one, it was still a mess. But that was nothing new.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket. You braced yourself for another round of freezing your fingers off as you raised the device to your ear.

“Y/N, where are you?” Your best friend’s voice brought a part of you back into reality. “You were supposed to be here like ten minutes ago.”

“Jimin,” your voice trailed off. You tried to process where you were. “I’m... Lost?” That was your quickest answer.

“What do you mean you’re lost?” There was a hint of panic in his voice. “Geez, I need to stop letting you take public transit by yourself—”

“Sorry, sorry.” You cut him off. If he knew you still felt this way, he wouldn’t let you go around searching for trouble all by yourself. “I see the glass and garden museum—”

“Oh! Okay, go inside and wait in the gift shop. I bet you forgot your gloves today too.”

“... You’re not wrong.” He knew you too well. He always has.

He let out a slight chuckle. “I’ll be there soon.” He hung up.

You found refuge in the shop, weaving between customers and body heat. This city was so, so cold, and yet it never got cold enough to snow, just rain.

You stopped in front of a wall of postcards, thinking about all the times you’ve wanted to send one to him. You never knew his new address, so why did you have a stack of unset mail tucked away in a drawer back home? His name written all of them. Signed: With love.

The postcard’s design was a picture of one of the glass sculptures that hung from a window paneled ceiling. The mixture of orange and yellow glass popped out among the night sky in the background. You wanted to write to him then and there, asking for his opinions, if he’d like to see it with you one day. You knew he’d like it, or at least you hope he’d like it.

You reached for it, with your now warm hands and the goal of buying it to just hide it with the rest of the unsent letters. You instantly retracted your hand the moment it brushed against another’s.

“Sorry,” your voices came out in unison.

“No, I’m—” Your throat closed up for a second as your eyes met.

“Y/N?” His voice echoed in your ears. That voice that you thought you had forgotten, but remembered as if it were yesterday. The voice you remembered saying its goodbyes and you not realizing that was meant to be forever. “It’s been forever.” He smiled softly. “How have you been?”

“It’s been forever,” you repeated after him.

Forever. It wasn’t your choice to never see him again. It was his choice to never see you again. A choice that kept you up all night wondering if it was something you did or said for it to turn out this way. A choice that’d hit you out of nowhere with a whirlwind of emotions as you tried to enjoy an outing with your friends or while you were in the middle of a test you didn’t study for. And you thought it’d be this way. Forever. But forever decided it lasted long enough. And now forever was over. Now a new set of emotions overcome you. A confusing mixture of upset and gladness and maybe relief. You hoped the relief would last forever.

Somehow you managed to say, “I’m fine. Great, actually.” You swallowed. You felt the corners of your mouth twitching from how hard you’re actually smiling. And you wondered what this response was, but at the same time it was almost expected. You wanted to be upset, angry. And yet you’re here, smiling like an idiot, as if he didn’t move and disappear without a word for years. “How are you, Taehyung?”

Saying his name to his face felt so unreal. But this was really happening. You can hear your heart beating in your ears, your face getting hotter by the second, sweat building up under your clothes.

“I’m good. Life’s been treating me well.”

“That’s good.”

You felt his eyes on you, watching, analyzing. Does he know? Can he tell that you’re about to lose whatever is left of your sanity at any moment? It’s hard to tell what he was thinking. Was it always that way?

“Have you been inside the museum yet? It looks even better in real life.” He looked back up at the postcard. You could tell he was trying to make small talk. “So, who were you going to send this to?”

You. But of course you couldn’t tell him that.

“This is kind of… Embarrassing…” Your voice trailed off before you got the chance to spill your guts.

“Oh— You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.” He looked at the ground, smiling slightly to himself. “I guess this is kind of embarrassing too. I was actually going to get it for myself. I just collect them. I’m not sure when that started. And I don’t really have much of a reason to. I guess I just think they look cool.” He grabbed one off the wall.

Without thinking you took it from his hand. “I’ll buy it for you,” you blurted out.

“No, no, it’s okay!” He tried to take it, but you hid it behind your back.

“I insist.”

He towered over you, his face inching closer to yours as he attempted to reach around for the postcard. “Y/N,” he grinned. “It’s fine.”

You found yourself stuck, unable to look away from his face. Remembering the cute little mole under his eye, then the tip of his nose, and the one under his lips.

A child running by bumped into you and you fell forward. It wasn’t romantic like in those romcoms, you head-butted his lip and he retracted backwards, covering his mouth.

Your eyes widened. “Taehyung I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay. It was an accident,” he checked his fingers for blood. “I’m okay! I’m okay.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. Okay now I definitely have to buy this for you, hold on.” You made a dash for the counter a couple steps away, nearly clipping another small child as they chased after the one who probably bumped you. You can hear Taehyung laugh as he trailed behind you.

You quickly made the transaction and handed over the card to him. “Here. I’m sorry, again.”

“What? You’re not going to write something for me?” He playful tilted his head.

You mumbled under your breath, “You’re killing me, Kim Taehyung.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing— Here, just— Ah. Did you want me to? I don’t have a pen…”

He held onto the postcard without taking it. “How about you think of something to write and then give it to me by the end of the day.” He nudged the card towards your body. ���We’ll find you a pen later.”

“We? Later?” You didn’t want to look stupid in front of him, but you couldn’t help it. You quickly clenched your jaw after you realized you were staring at him with your mouth open.

“Yeah, later. Unless you have something else to do today?”

“Oh fuck, Ji—”

“Taehyung, who’s your friend?” An unknown woman walked up next to him, locking her arms around his. She glared at you so hard you could have sworn lasers would start shooting out of her eyes. She was beautiful. Of course she would be, it’s Taehyung.

He looked at you, but it felt more like he was looking past, maybe even through you. “She’s an old friend.”

You let out an awkward, almost forced laugh. “Yeah. An old friend. Right.” Right. That was all. Maybe a little more. Or could have been more. There was definitely more. But to him maybe you really were just a friend. Just a photo in an album at the bottom of an old moving box.

“Okay, well, we should be going now.” She began to drag him out.

You just watched him walk away. At least this time you already expected him to walk out of your life. It’s fine. This is fine. It’ll be fine.

He glanced back at you and stopped in his tracks. He gently detached himself from her and walked back over to you. He looked like he was trying hard to find something to say. Looking around as if the words would appear out of the air. He locked eyes with you once again, biting his lip. He really was thinking, but all he could come up with was a hushed, “Run.”

He had a wild look in his eyes as he grabbed your hand and bolted out of the museum, passing the girl he was with earlier. All you could make out was a string of some unkind names as the two of you darted out of earshot. He laughed the whole time. You ran for God knows how long before collapsing on a park bench. The cold air burned with each deep inhale. It hurt, but all you could do was smile.

As you tried to catch your breath you had to ask, “Who was that?”

“Just some girl I’ve been seeing. We met a few weeks ago at a coworker’s party.”

You’ve become more aware of how long you’ve been holding hands and you finally let go.

“It’s not serious though.”

You shove your hands back into your pockets, sitting up straight. “Why did you just ditch her? You’re on a date, right?”

He shrugged. “I’m not that into her. Besides, you’re way more interesting to hang out with.”

“How do you know that? It’s been three years.” You lowered your head to cover your face behind your hair. Your eyes stung, but now was not the time to be crying.

He hummed. “For starters, you nearly split my lip open, insisted on buying me a random postcard, and didn’t stop me from running away from her.”

You didn’t want to cave in so easily, but he knew how to make you smile. You can claim you hate it, but you secretly loved it. The part you hated the most was that he knew you loved it too. He still knew you so well.

“Y/N!” A voice called out from the distance.

You turned your head to the sound. “Jimin!” You shot up out of your seat. “Oh God, I forgot about him,” you mumbled under your breath.

He lightly jogged over. “Why did I just know it was you running out of the museum. I knew I should have just made you stay over at my place while you’re in town. What the hell were you doing? I told you to wait there and—” He finally looked over your shoulder. He grabbed you so fast you didn’t have time to react, shoving you behind him so that he kept you away from Taehyung. “What did you do to her?” His voice came out low.

“Nice to see you too, Jimin.” Taehyung got up with his hands outstretched for a hug.

Jimin stepped back, losing his balance for a moment as he stepped on your foot. “Ah— Sorry.”

“Jimin.” You gently put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” You tried to give him a reassuring smile. But was this really fine?

He sighed, loosening up. He cleared his throat. “Good to see you too, Taehyung.” He opted for a handshake instead. “Anyway, Y/N and I have somewhere to be. So if you don’t mind, we’ll be leaving.”

You grabbed your best friend’s wrist before he got the chance to walk away. “Wait.”

“What?”

You didn’t know what to say. You just wanted to cherish your time with Taehyung. Even if it was only for a second longer. You didn’t want him to disappear, although it was probably inevitable.

“Hey, I don’t mean to intrude. Sorry.” Taehyung apologized with a tone that was enough to nearly shatter your heart. “I’ll let you be on your way.”

“No. Wait. Please.” You raised your voice as you whipped yourself around to face him. Your head began to spin, your breathing was shallow. You weren’t ready to let him go. It’s too soon.

Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t go.

“Please don’t go.” You covered your mouth so quickly you practically slapped yourself.

“Y/N,” Jimin whispered, holding on to your shoulder as if it was like he was trying to stop you from shaking.

You held your breath, waiting, wondering what Taehyung will or won’t do.

Taehyung reached for your hands, uncovering them from your mouth. The look on his face. What was that look? You couldn’t understand how an expression could suddenly make you feel so full of love.

“I won’t. I’m here.”

“For how long?” You studied his face, searching for any indication he was lying while at the same time, trying to remember every part of it— the mole placements, the curve of his lips, the way his eyelashes moved as he blinked. Everything. Because you wanted to be ready for when the time comes he’ll leave you once again.

He looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“How long?” You repeated yourself. “How long will this last before you leave me again?” You stepped back, releasing yourself from his hold. “Are you just going to disappear again? Are you just going to leave me alone because I mean nothing more to you than just a friend? Well, friends don’t just up and disappear like that. Without a word. What kind of friend does that? I thought, maybe, I wasn’t just a friend to you. I thought I meant more to you. Like you do for me.”

You began to laugh in the middle of the silence. “Oh, God. I just sound so stupid and pathetic, don’t I?” Your lips quivered as you failed to attempt to keep your tears in. “That was so, so stupid—”

“Jimin,” Taehyung's voice sounded a bit annoyed. “You didn’t tell her?”

“I never got the chance to,” Jimin was frantic. “Now is not the time.”

“What were you going to tell me?” You rubbed your eyes, trying to see Jimin past the blurriness.

“Are you serious? You didn’t fucking tell her?” Taehyung bit his lower lip, trying to keep his cool, but it was obvious he was fuming.

“Tell me fucking what?”

“He told me to leave you alone—”

“Taehyung, shut up.”

“No! No! She needs to know.”

You grabbed Jimin by his coat, shaking him. “Why did you tell him to leave me alone?”

His face looked pale. “Y/N,” he sighed, brushing the little hairs away from your face.

You stiffened up.

“I couldn’t stand to see him with you,” he whispered, almost sounding ashamed.

“Why?” You couldn’t bear the silence, but you already have realized why.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” He caressed your tear stained cheek.

You stepped away from him in disbelief. “This isn’t really happening, is it? Jimin, I… I don’t even know what to say to you.”

“Tell me anything.” He accepted his fate.

You glanced at Taehyung. He pursed his lips, raising an eyebrow, his way to encourage you.

“I…” Your eyes settle back on Jimin. Somehow he looked so small, like he wanted to disappear. “I want to be angry with you. I guess I am angry with you. Could you not see how much I was hurting?”

“I did.”

“And you let me fucking feel this way for years?”

“I thought I could win you over. But when weeks turned into months then into a year, and then two, and three... I realized I wouldn’t ever win. It would always be Taehyung. It was too late for me.”

“And you?” You asked Taehyung.

“Jimin was my best friend too. And I didn’t want to get in his way.”

You laughed harder. You couldn’t believe this is where your life has led up to. For the longest time you thought you had done something wrong. That you were the selfish one. Selfish to think you could have someone like Taehyung.

You thought it was karma. You were the bad person. You made yourself out to always be the bad person and you couldn’t even remember what you did, but all you knew is that you deserved it. All those endless nights drinking your sorrows to failed suicide attempts. It was karma for mistreating yourself for all those years, even before Taehyung came into your life. Jimin finding you in the second year of high school, out cold with a bottle of sleeping pills in your hand, waking up to getting your stomach pumped. You did this to yourself because you believed everyone would be better off without you. God was punishing you, but at that point, you had forgotten over what, and it’s laughable.

But maybe you weren’t being selfish. What was wrong about feeling the way you felt? Liking someone? Loving someone? It was okay to love who you loved. You don’t need to be sorry about that. There’s nothing to be sorry about.

“I’m sorry, Jimin.” You said you weren’t going to be sorry, but you couldn’t help but think about all the times Jimin was there for you. This was your karma for everything you put him though, and you accepted his envy, his selfishness.

“You don’t have to be. I should be sorry. I just couldn’t make you happy.”

“Jimin—”

A sudden clash of thunder interrupted you, followed by heavy rain. There hadn’t been any signs it would rain, let alone a thunderstorm. But that was just expected of this city, unpredictable, just like everything else in your life.

Jimin took a step back, this interruption was just what he needed. “I’ll talk to you later. I promise.” He ran off into the direction he came from, disappearing behind the endless rain drops.

You looked up into the sky, feeling the water soak your hair. You closed your eyes and took a deep inhale. You wanted to scream. Then you couldn’t feel the rain on your face. You opened your eyes to find Taehyung shielding the both of you with his coat. He gave you a half smile.

“Let’s get you out of this rain?”

“Can I stay with you? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Of course.”

[softboywriting]

Serendipity | Shawn Mendes | Werewolf AU

Summary: After a very drunk one night stand you end up pregnant and you’re still searching for the guy you slept with, wondering if he could be your mate. Five months in and Shawn walks into your life and you think you just might have found your actual mate after all. [pregnancy] [mates] [werewolf au] [fluff]

Word Count: 4k

|Masterlist In Bio|

“Y'know, I still can't believe you got pregnant from a one night stand,” Maci says from behind the register after a customer leaves, the bell chiming upon their exit. You look over to her and she raises her eyebrows, long red hair falling to the side as she tilts her head. She is your best friend and business partner, just like the sister you never had.

“It's been five months for goodness sake. When will you stop saying that?” You laugh and turn away from restocking your homemade lavender sleep lotion. “I'm having this baby whether or not you believe it.”

“I mean obviously, that balloon is gonna pop in no time. I'm just still in awe you want to be a single mom. Why not adopt it out?”

You sigh. “We've been over this. Unlike you, I want children. And also unlike you, I'm a werewolf and I want to hold out for my mate, who I'm pretty sure doesn't exist anymore or I actually missed him and ended up with this.” You pat your striped shirt over your bulging belly.

“Still no luck? You've tried like every missed connections app for mates. And nothing? What about that one guy, Mike?”

“Micah. He was lying. As soon as he found out I was pregnant he ran faster than a Scooby Doo villain.”

Maci rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I remember now. He was the guy with the frosted tips right?”

“Yep. What a douchebag.”

Maci chuckles and comes around the counter to help you lift a crate full of bath bombs onto the shelf . You chit chat more about how you're pretty sure the guy you slept with probably lives way out of town or something. She theorizes that he is actually a spy who can never reveal his identity to keep you safe. It's a good laugh, but honestly you wish you could find him. He felt so right. It hurts to think you've missed him entirely.

___________________________

The shop door chimes and you look up from the computer at the register. You've been filling orders with Maci all morning. Christmas was approaching and everyone wanted homemade bath and body care. It helps that you saved enough to get a local ad spot on the news website, and it's definitely paying off big time.

As you glance to see who's come in and greet them, you're taken aback. The man who's come in looks familiar, though you aren't sure why. He definitely didn't go to high school with you and Maci. He also wasn't a regular. Maybe he just had one of those faces, but you don't think that's it. He feels...electric. Everything about his presence is drawing you in and you know you're staring and it's awkward now.

“Good morning. Welcome to Lunar Salt.”

The man smiles and lifts a hand. “Hey. Are you able to help me find something?”

“I sure can.” You slide off your chair and walk around the counter to meet him. He's much taller than you and he stares at you with curious eyes. The bulging stomach no doubt. “What're you looking for?”

“Hand cream. My hands get really dry with the new job I started.”

“Alright.” You lead him to the baskets of hand creams by the window. “I recommend the lemongrass and citrus. It's subtle but hydrating. If not that one, there is the cinnamon and cream that is-”

“Do I know you?”

You stop and look up at him. His eyes are gorgeous, soft and golden with hints of green. Definitely a werewolf like you. “W-what?”

The man shakes his head and apologizes. “That was so rude of me. You're just so familiar. Have we met?”

You look around nervously, chuckling a little. How weird he thought the same thing as you. “I don't think so?”

“It's just...I'm from upstate and I just moved down here with a friend nearby. It's weird but I swear I know you somehow.”

“Um, Did you go to Valley Hill high school?”

“No. Burkhead. McNamara middle school?”

“Crestridge.”

“Peterson Elementary?”

“Walker Rose Elementary.”

He laughs and looks around, seemingly stumped. His laugh is adorable, a breathy little noise that makes your heart flutter. “Well, I'm Shawn. Nice to meet you, possibly again.” He extends a hand and you shake it, skin tingling against his. This was special, he wasn't like other wolves you've met before.

“Nice to meet you.” You give your name and grab a tube of the vanilla chai hand cream. A seasonal favorite of yours and a best seller. “I recommend this one for you.”

“Why's that? Is it super moisturizing? Are my hands really that dry?” He stuffs them in his pockets self consciously.

“No...it's...complementing to you.”

“To me?”

You feel a flush rise from your chest t your cheeks and you look down with a smile before summoning the courage to look look straight at him. “Your scent.”

“Ahhhhh,” he grins huge, all his teeth showing. “I knew you were a wolf.”

“And you are too. It's not too hard to tell. Your eyes are very vibrant and your fangs are a bit hard to hide when you laugh.”

Shawn grins bigger, flashing you those fangs. “Very perceptive. I'll take the vanilla chai.”

You walk around the counter with the tube and ring it up, packaging it with a few flyers for upcoming promotions for the shop. “Five dollars please.”

Shawn slides his card and signs the receipt you pass over to him. “I didn't think I'd find another wolf so quickly in this town.”

“There aren't too many of us. When you get closer to Valley Hill you'll find a lot more.”

“Mmmm I think I'll stick to getting to know this area first.” He grabs his bag and gives you a wink as he heads out the door.

You sink down onto your chair and chuckle to yourself. Was he...flirting with you? He did see your stomach right? It was impossible to miss. And what was with that weird feeling? You roll your eyes and go back to preparing orders for when Maci got back with lunch. If it was more than a one off thing, you'd leave it for fate to decide.

___________________________

“No, she isn't here right now, she's gone to an appointment.” Maci says as you walk into the backroom and hang up your coat, returning from aforementioned appointment.

You peek your head into the front area to see who she is taking to. “Shawn,” you smile and walk out behind the counter. Maci turns, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Looks like she's back,” Shawn grins to Maci and holds up a bag. “I brought you something.”

“You brought me something?”

“Yeah. Is that weird?”

Maci snorts. “A little.”

You smack Maci's arm. “Why did you bring me something?”

Shawn runs a hand through his hair and his cheeks turn scarlet. Bashful and cute. Absolutely perfect. “I...I thought you might like it. You helped me pick that hand cream and it works wonders. I thought I should return the favor.”

“That's just my job, but I won't say no to a gift.” You approach the counter and lean on it with a smile. “What did you bring?”

“I hope you like banana.” He pulls a paper wrapped muffin from the brown bag on the counter. “I made it myself.”

Maci chuckles. “Damn, homemade treats? That's something else.”

“You didn't have to do that.” You peek in the bag and there are about six muffins in there. “Shawn, really, I was just doing my job-”

“No! No I didn't bake them specially for you. I mean, I work at the bakery across the street. The owner is a friend and he said take some of them home since they were my first batch on my own.”

“Oh! Zack? He's the best. Thank you.”

Shawn beams and pushes the bag toward you. “So yeah, anyway. Thank you for the hand cream and stuff.”

“You should try the body wash next,” Maci chimes in, pointing to the new men's section in the corner. “We've got a sandalwood and Bergamot blend you'd probably like, and it's her favorite.”

You elbow her and she cackles. “You don't have to buy anything. Thank you again for these.”

“I'll come back later. I'm on break now but I'm definitely interested in the body wash.” Shawn steps back and waves as he leaves, jogging across the street over to the bakery.

As soon as he's gone Maci absolutely lays into you. “Who the hell is that? Where did he come from?”

“He just showed up last week. I dunno, he's cute though.”

“He's definitely into you. It's all over his face like a neon sign.”

“Yeah but I have a baby. He's just being nice.” You were not about to tell her about the buzzing feeling in your guts when he showed up the first time.

Maci rolls her eyes. “Whatever maybe he likes kids. Maybe he's into it.”

“Maci!”

She shrugs. “It's a thing! Anyway he's a werewolf right?”

“Yeah? How'd you know?”

“The man is huge, and he has fang teeth that I could see from across the street. He's definitely not human.”

“Yeah, he's a werewolf, an alpha I'm pretty sure.”

“An alpha mate?” Maci elbows you playfully. “Eh? Eh?”

You roll your eyes and shove her off the stool. “Go start getting ready to make gift baskets and shut up about my love life.”

“Love life huh? Already thinking about making him your man?”

“Shut up!” You throw a tissue box at her and she scrambles into the backroom to get the basket supplies.

___________________________

It's a Monday morning when you walk into Pettit's Pastries for a breakfast on the go. You find Shawn at the counter laying out new baked goods in the case and he grins at you.

“Hello,” you giggle with a wave you approach the case. “I've come to bother you for a change. Y'know, so you don't have to keep buying one of every product in my store just to see me.”

“Caught that eh?”

“You're not too hard to read.”

Shawn chuckles and leans on the counter top, sleeves rolls up to his elbows and apron dusted with flour. He's so attractive it hurts your heart to imagine him actually touching you with those beautiful hands. Ugh.

“What can I get for you?”

“Something sweet.”

He glances up from where he is getting ready to write on his order pad and smirks. Those eyes, his lips...God damn. “There's a lot of sweets here honey.”

“Mmhmm. Pick something for me. The best you have.”

Shawn strides along the length of the display case and back, eyes going from confectionery to you every few steps. “I would but there is a problem.”

“Yeah?” You lean on the counter, your ankles starting to hurt from standing for too long. This baby was going to be the death of you.

“I don't fit in the to go bags.”

“You don't...what...oh. Oh I see what you did there.” You chuckle and he lets out a laugh at his own corny joke. “I'll just have to settle for the chocolate cupcakes then please.”

“Yes ma'am.” He bags up two for you and places them on the counter to ring you up. “Anything else?”

“Nope.”

“Alright four dollars please.”

You pay and he walks around to meet you at the door, blocking your path momentarily. You raise your eyebrows and he rubs his neck and clears his throat a few times.

“Can I... I mean are you okay to cross the street alone? It's very snowy and I don't want to see you fall.” He offers his hand to you and you take it, your smaller one fitting in his perfectly. “I promise to keep you on your feet.”

“You’re so sweet.” You walk with him across and down to your shop, his arm around your back the whole time. “Thank you. You really didn't have to do that though.”

Shawn flushes and it is still the cutest thing you've ever seen. “I'd hate to have you fall and hurt yourself or the baby. I'm sure your mate wouldn't mind me watching out for his girl.”

Ah, there it is. He slipped that in so carefully. Slick one. “I don't have a mate. But still, your concern is appreciated.”

He grins, obviously pleasantly surprised that you aren't mated. “Would you mind going out to dinner with me then?”

“Sure...I mean even though...” You lay your hand on your stomach and he continues to grin as if that made no difference to him.

“Tomorrow night? I can pick you up?”

“Shawn. Are you sure? I'm five months pregnant and mateless, and you are asking me out on a date. You do realize this is weird?”

Shawn steps forward and sets his hand over yours on your stomach. Your body aches, a deep warm ache like it did when you were with the alpha on your birthday.  

“Honestly, I don't mind. Whether you have or are having a child doesn't make me any less attracted to you. Yeah, it's strange, if someone asked me if I would date someone under these circumstances before I met you I probably would have said no. But there's something... something about the day we met that I've never been able to shake. I think I'm supposed to be with you.”

“I-I think we should just go on a date first.”

Shawn nods. “Right...I uh, I'm sorry. I got a little weird there for a second. Dinner tomorrow?”

“Yes. Dinner tomorrow.”

He pats your hand and pulls away, jogging through the snow to the bakery and nearly slipping at the doors. You let out a chuckle and go into the shop to try and calm your racing heart and jittery nerves. You hadn't wanted to admit it but you wondered too if Shawn could be the one. The way your heart went crazy when you saw him, how you couldn't stop thinking about him and when you'll see him next. Hell, you even imagined him in your bed at night, rubbing your stomach with your shea lotion and dreamed about him frequently. He drove you crazy and the only thing holding you back was your baby. The possibility that he might reject you for it, just walk away because it's not his. That's what kept you from going all in, though all signs were definitely pointing to him being your mate.

___________________________

“So can I ask him how you happen to be pregnant and not mated?” Shawn asks about halfway through dinner. You've been expecting it all night, and you're not shocked he wants to know. It's not as if you're hiding it.

“Well, I got fucked up, took a guy home and got laid on my birthday. I was so out of it and so was the guy I was with. We didn't even think about protection until after the fact. Then when morning came he was gone.”

Shawns eyes widen. “Shit, I thought maybe you lost your mate or got inseminated or something.”

“Nope just a slut.”

“Fucking hell,” Shawn chokes on his water. “I don't think you're a slut. Everyone makes mistakes, one night stands happen. Shit happens.”

You roll your eyes. “Tell that to my parents. They don't think very highly of me right now.”

“It's not their place to judge your choices. Besides, you're a successful business owner, what harm is there in wanting a family?”

“Yeah...they don't understand. It's fine though. I'll be happy with my little buddy and Maci until I do find my mate.”

Shawn leans his chin on his hand. “Do you think the man who got you pregnant was your mate?”

You shrug. “I think I felt something with him. I definitely don't make a habit of getting that drunk and sleeping with just any guys. I just wish I could remember more, but I was super drunk and it's been so long I can't.”

“Hey,” Shawn reaches across the table and takes your hand. “Why don't we focus on the here and now. I'm definitely seriously attracted to you and it's making me wonder if I've found my mate because I've never had this sort of attraction and need for someone before.”

You chew on your lip and flush. “I know. I have wondered about it too. I just ...I want to make sure y'know?”

“I totally understand. We can go as slow as you want.”

“Thanks. For the record though, you do drive me crazy too and I really want to spend every second of every day with you. Seriously. Every time you're in the shop I lose my shit inside and get this buzzing feeling.”

Shawn laughs, head thrown back as he covers his chest with his hand. “So much for wanting to take things slow!”

“Hey! I still wanna go slow, I'm popping a kid out here in less than three months now and I need to know if you're actually going to be interested in me when I'm toting an infant around.”

Shawn goes quiet, leaning in and suddenly looking very serious. “I told you, the baby isn't a problem and won't change how attracted I am to you. I'm excited to meet it, oddly anxious to hold it too. So I think I'll still want to stick around.”

“Shawn...I don't get it, why are you so excited? We've known each other for about a month. It's not even your baby.”

“Oh. Um...it's just, I just...I feel it. And I don't know why I'm excited, I just am. I can't explain it. It's seriously the strangest feeling because I know we've just recently met but it feels like I've known you for ages and I'm just picking up where I left off somehow.” He runs his hand over his hair and looks out the window where the snow is falling heavily. “I feel the pull of a mate and I want to make you mine so badly it's maddening.”

You reach across the table and lay your hand on his arm. “If you're serious, come with me to my appointment this Friday. I know it's right before Christmas, but I'm finally going to find out the gender because I've been putting it off until I settled on a name for a girl and a boy. Well, also because I'm anxious, but either way, come with me?”

Shawn covers your hand with his. “I'll go with. I'm not doing anything anyways, Zack's closing the bakery until after Christmas so he can be with his family upstate.”

You smile and he just smiles back. So this is what a mate feels like. Warm, safe, trusted and comfortable. You hope it lasts.

___________________________

You open the front door to your apartment and invite Shawn in to wait while you finish up getting ready for the appointment. He wanders over to the kitchen and you walk back to your room to get your shoes.

“Can I ask you something?” Shawn calls out after a minute.

You walk back into the living area and look at where he's standing with his hands on a denim jacket on the back of your dining chair. For a moment you feel sick, realizing how this must seem. That jacket was left by the alpha you slept with on your birthday. You had kept it just to use it to try and find him again. Obviously that didn't work.

“Where'd you get this?”

“It's from the guy who I slept with on my birthday. I promise it's not someone else's. I'm not seeing anyone.” You pull your tennis shoes on and wiggle your toes around to get comfortable. “I need to just donate it because I'm never-”

“When is your birthday?”

“Huh?”

“When is your birthday?”

“July 24th? Why?”

Shawn leans on the chair and chuckles. “Where did you meet this alpha?”

“At Nix? The club in Valley Hill?” You stand and walk over to him. “Why are you asking me all this? This is just a jacket I need to get rid of. I'm not lying to you.”

“I know you're not because this is my jacket.”

“What?”

Shawn pulls it off the chair and puts it on over his hoodie. “Everything makes sense, that's why we know each other but we can’t remember. It's why we're so close. I was at Nix that night with Zack and some friends who were celebrating their birthday too. I-I can prove it.”

“Shawn, you're crazy. I like you, I really do, but this is insanity.”

“No, I'm not crazy. Listen. In the pocket there is a set of keys.” He pats the front denim pocket. “Take them out and match them to my keys.” He hands you his keys from his pants pocket and you fish the ones out of the jacket.

Sure enough the diamond shaped house key matches. There's a Jeep fob on each one as well.  You cross the apartment and go to the front window, clicking the unlock button on the jacket keys and aiming it at Shawn's Jeep. It unlocks the car, the lights flash on for a moment. Your stomach drops and you look at Shawn.

“Everything makes sense,” you mumble.

Shawn walks over and cups your face in his hands. “Yes, it does and I'm going to be a dad and you're my mate. You're my mate!”

You hold his arms and laugh, tears spilling over the corners of your eyes. “I have a mate!”

“Yeah, you do.” Shawn leans in and kisses you softly.

You wrap your arms around him and squeeze tight, your stomach pushing against him. “I tried to find you for months. I did everything I could think of. Why did you leave?”

“I panicked. I couldn't remember where I was or anything, I'm pretty sure I was still drunk when I woke up and I didn't want to bother you so I just left and found my way back to Zack's place. God if I had known, if I had even considered the possibility of being your mate I never would have left.” He runs his hand through your hair. “I promise I'll never leave again.”

“We were pretty drunk. We probably shouldn't have had sex, but I don't regret it. I don't regret a single thing.”

Shawn drops down and holds your tummy, kissing it gently. “Mates always find each other right?” He looks up at you. “I knew I would find you one day. I didn't know how or when but I knew I would.” He leans his head on your belly and you run your hand over his hair.

“I stopped believing for a while, but when I met you that day in the shop. I knew you were the one, I felt it.” You tap his shoulder for him to stand up and he does. “As excited as I am to have a mate, we have to go to the appointment and find out what our baby is.”

“Shit. Right. Are you ready?” He asks and you nod. He threads his fingers between yours and the two of you head to the car to go to your appointment.

___________________________

Two months and twelve days later you and Shawn have a tiny little baby boy. He was five pounds ten ounces, small considering he's a werewolf. Shawn blames himself, saying that not being there for the full pregnancy made him not grow as big. It's ridiculous and you won't hear it, saying that he's probably small because you were a small baby too.

The moment the nurse brought the in baby; who's name you decided was Milo, into the recovery room, Shawn lost his mind. He immediately grabbed for him, cooing and awing as the nurse set him in his arms and showed him how to support Milo's head. The way Shawn looked at that baby was like nothing else mattered in the world.

The baby looked so tiny in comparison to Shawn. So much like just a wad of blankets he was holding tenderly. You couldn't help but fall in love with the two of them. It was amazing. You can't believe how lucky you are to have this, and you know Shawn feels the same. From that moment on, you knew you would be living a an actual dream.

The end

Thank you everyone who read this! Please reblog and leave feedback/let me know what you think.

I know this is short and quick but it’s just something I’ve wanted to write and and I idea I’ve toyed with for a while. 

Thank you so much.

[how-to-survive-a-factory-tour]

How to Survive a Factory Tour - Chapter 4

A Sanders Sides / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory FanFiction

PREVIOUS

———-

OH. MY GOD. YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!

I... still haven’t opened the Wonka bar. Six days it’s been in my fridge, and it’s still sat there. Uggggghh, what am I doing? Why don’t I just open it up?! I mean, I know it’s gonna be a normal bar of chocolate, no point building it up. I guess I just don’t want to face the fact I wasted money...

Thomas finally noticed the bar. He asked me about it, and I told him the truth, as well offering him the chocolate. But, nope, it’s Thomas, with his heart of gold. He insisted I have it. Said I should get something nice for Christmas. Did I mention it’s Christmas Day today?

Anyway, as I was saying, I still haven’t opened the bar. Is there something wrong with me? Well, apart from the poverty, lack of healthy diet, lack of a proper education, unbridled self-loathing and crippling anxiety.

I know. I need help. Too bad I can’t afford it!

”You need help,” are also Remy’s first words to me after I also tell him all this. I answer with the same response I gave you, but he has an answer to that too. “Look, my parents are loaded! And they think you’re a good guy, Virge. I’m sure they’d pay for you to have a few appointments with a therapist.”

“Oh no. No no no. I am not accepting charity. No thank you.”

Remy rolls his eyes. “Fine... but the offer still stands.” He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling. “Oh, and the third ticket was won.”

I look up. “You’re kidding.”

”Was I kidding the other times?” Remy asks, sliding me his phone across the counter. “Will you please bow down to the esteemed Prince Roman!”

I raise an eyebrow, looking down at the news story on the phone. The subject of the photo is Hispanic, with tanned skin and broad shoulders. Just looking at him, I can tell he likely has a six pack under that white shirt. He has emerald green eyes, as bright as the gemstone, and red-brown hair, styled perfectly to accentuate his facial features. He’s pretty much exactly like those models in magazines that lower your self-esteem by 100% after one second of looking at them. He’s stood in front of a large house – no, let me rephrase that, A FUCKING MANSION – in the photo.

I get this horrible feeling he’s gonna be a self-entitled bastard.

-

As I run on stage, I bathe in the applause of the audience. Valerie and I stand hand in hand, taking our bow. After, the music for the encore plays and the whole cast sings the final chorus of Beauty and the Beast. I belt out, trying to make myself heard over everyone while also still sounding glorious.

The music rises to a crescendo before coming to a fabulous end, and that applause, oh how it drives me! We bow one final time before I look over the sea that is the standing ovation. I spot Dad and Pa and direct a wave to them, when suddenly I see someone throw something out of the corner of my vision. Valerie catches it and I peer over her shoulder.

”A Wonka bar?” I raise an eyebrow. “I thought roses were the traditional things people threw.”

”I guess the Wonka-mania over the past few weeks changed that slightly,” Valerie replies. She pauses before holding the bar out to me. “Here.”

”What? No, I can’t possibly take this! It was thrown to you!”

“Just take it, Roman. You’re much more invested in Wonka’s competition than I am. You want this more,” she presses the bar into my hands.

I look between her and the bar, and then back to her. “Val, if I weren’t the gayest man alive on this earth, I would kiss you right now.”

I plan on opening the bar afterwards when I get home, but when I turn back to the crowd, they all start chanting the same thing, over and over.

”OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!”

Valerie starts chanting along as well and, pretty soon, the cast and crew join in. Everyone’s staring at me, chanting the same thing, asking the same thing.

I grin to the audience before starting to peel back the wrapper, and everyone falls silent. Being on stage, I still feel like I have to treat this like a show and build up dramatic tension, so I peel the wrapper slowly at first, before ripping it off at the last second.

The light of the spotlight reflects off the golden glow and the audience bursts into cheers as I read the slip in the wrapper.

WONKA GOLDEN TICKET

I’m completely speechless, the grin on my face explaining everything I’m feeling inside.

Valerie finally snaps out of her shock. “You know what, on second thought, I’ll have the bar back please.”

I chuckle at her words, pulling the ticket out from the wrapper. I hold it above my head, once again bathing in the applause.

-

There’s a long silence after I finish reading the article about Roman Prince.

”...Nothing to say about him?” Remy asks. “C’mon, sis, spill the tea!”

”Well... I don’t mean to be rude, but- “

”He seems like a stuck-up asshole, doesn’t he?”

”Well, it sounds hypocritical coming from you-”  I’m interrupted by Remy calling me a bitch before continuing, “but I think you may be right. But maybe its not too bad. I mean, I know one good stuck-up asshole, and they’re my best friend.”

”Are you trying to compliment me or offend me? I really can’t tell anymore,” Remy asks.

”You decide,” I shrug.

”So, how many Wonka bars have you bought?” Remy asks.

”One.”

”Yas, queen! You bought one!”

”I bought it ages ago and haven’t opened it, and likely won’t.”

”Less yas...” Remy sighs. “Virge, every time I come in here, I give you a free chance of winning a ticket. Please, do something for yourself for once! I mean, come on, you’re spending Christmas Day working!”

”Says the one who’s spending it buying Starbucks instead of with his family,” I respond. “Thomas needs the money more than me! Look, the bar’ll probably be opened eventually – be glad you got me to buy at least one.”

Remy nods. “I guess...” He takes his drink, pays and drops a tip. “See ya!”

I wave in response as he leaves before turning to the next customer. “What can I get you?”

-

”I could not eat another thing...”

I hear Emile’s statement from the kitchen, chuckling. As I cut the Christmas pudding, I call out, “Desserts ready!”

”Actually, maybe I could have a little more.”

I chuckle again, putting the servings of pudding into bowls, grabbing spoons and heading into the living room. Mum and Dad are curled up on the sofa in each other’s arms. Emile is flicking between channels on the TV, most likely trying to find one of his favourite cartoons. I hand everyone a bowl of pudding before sitting on an armchair, snuggling into my Christmas jumper as I eat.

Once I finish, I feel my eyelids growing heavy. I yawn, stretching, before resting my hands on my full belly. Time for a little nap...

I’m not sure if I even actually fall asleep, however, as the next thing I know, Emile is calling my name.

”Pat! Patton! Look! Look at the TV!”

I yawn, stretching as I sit up. I open my eyes, looking at the screen. My eyes light up upon seeing the news: the third ticket has been found!

Roman Prince, a guy from Spain, has managed to get a ticket. He seems rather fun, telling the story about how he won the ticket like dramatic fairy tale. And he’s into theatre and musicals! I wonder if he likes cartoons...

”You gonna make friends with him?”

I nod. “Of course! It would be rude to only make friends with Logan and dismiss the others.”

Logan Berry... So adora-

NO, PATTON, STOP IT!

*

My friend Joan and their partner Talyn are the only ones who know about my family situation. Because of this, they took the liberty of inviting me round their apartment for Christmas Day. We’re currently all bunched up of the sofa, watching A Muppet’s Christmas Carol in our onesies (Joan in a Pikachu one, Talyn in a Charmander one, and myself breaking the Pokémon theme with my unicorn onesie).

Joan and Talyn have actually offered that I move in with them a few times, as they have a spare room in their apartment. However, I don’t want to intrude. Sure, I already treat it like a second home, but these two are a couple, they need their privacy.

Half way through the movie, just as the Ghost of Christmas Present brings Scrooge to the Cratchits, my phone suddenly vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see a single message from my brother, a single emoji: 🖕

”The third golden ticket’s been found.”

Immediately, Joan pauses the movie and they and Talyn look over my shoulder. They look confused.

”My brother blames me for him not getting a ticket, despite it only being my fault one time,” I explain.

”Man, your brother’s a dick,” Joan says.

”He just does it to get my parents’ approval.”

”I still think the reasons they hate you are complete bullshit,” Talyn adds. “I mean, seriously?! I’m pretty glad I’ve never met them in person.”

I just shrug. “When I was little, I was this baby who they could dress up and pretend was the perfect child. Then, I grew up and turned into a completely different person. It’s understandable they’d find it hard to accept.”

”I know, but their lack of acceptance is way too bad compared to normal parents,” Talyn continues.

Meanwhile, I google the third Wonka ticket. “Roman Prince... Oh, fuck, he’s a musical theatre geek. Great... That’s not going to be annoying...”

---------

NEXT

Taglist: @clone-number-1, @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing (added you because you seem into this fic)

[jasminewaliaposts-blog]

My Journey as a Maid of Honor

Since summer is approaching us, do you know what that means? Wedding Season. A whole a lot of spending your money on clothes that you will probably never wear again, OH and dealing with bridezillas.

Last year of November, my best friend surprised me and some of her other friends by popping the BIG QUESTION, “Will you be my Maid of Honor.” Obviously, I was going to say yes without realizing the amount of annoyance I was about to be faced with. With joy I accepted her box full of treats she gave as a present to me. In the box were pictures from our childhood, a PJ set, a wine bottle, a hand mirror, and a heart filled personalized card. In the card she wrote why she chose me to me the maid of honor, and the date of the wedding which was only revealed to me. Obviously, it was on the same weekend of my birthday. But oh well, it’s just a birthday, I guess…

Two weeks later, my other best friend announced that she would have her wedding 3 weeks before my other best friend (end of June), and my cousin announced that she would have her wedding the same weekend as well.

Tip: Breath and create a calendar with all the main events

So just in case you feel lost, let me draw this out for you. I am a Maid of Honor for a wedding taking place on July 20thand a bridesmaid for a wedding taking place on June 30thand on the same weekend my cousin is getting married.

Now the problem is not the actual weddings, is it the 10 events which happen leading up to the wedding. As well as the thousands of dollars that are spent on clothing, hair and makeup. Being Indian means, we have a lot of traditions and celebrations, which don’t get me wrong, are tons of fun. It involves a whole a lot of color, beautiful outfits, outrageous décor, a lot of dancing and BOOZE. The image below is an example of how décor typically looks like at an Indian wedding ceremony.

Tip: Always create a budget break-down for yourself in terms of how much you will end up spending for each event. This includes the cost of your outfit, makeup, bachelorette/bachelor party, gift(s) to the brides, etc.

As I am processing this, I just realized that I still have one more semester of school left, and this is where I start PANICKING. How am I going to handle school, whilst helping plan three important weddings? Plus, all these food festivals which I do not want to miss out on. Like how can anyone miss out on poutine festival or taco fest?

Anyways, in December my best friend approached me to ask me if I can plan the bachelorette and bridal shower for her. As a Maid of Honor, I had to say yes. Listen, I love my best friend and I would do anything for her, but this is a busy time for me since I am trying to manage school and work on all these wedding shenanigans.

To make things more complicated, she decided to invite her fiancé and his friends to the bachelorette party. So essentially it would be both a bachelorette and a bachelor party. For anyone who has ever experienced this, they would know how complicated things can get when you add a bunch of guys to the mix.

So, the first thing I did was reach out to my best friend’s sister, Bianca, and created a WhatsApp group with all the bridesmaids, and to inform them that the destination we have chosen is Vegas. Now come the outpouring suggestions and recommendations of where we should stay, and how much our budget should be blah blah.

So, complication #5393458 is that everyone in the group are of different age and have different things going on in their lives. Some were students, some are businesswomen, and some are married and have kids. So, their interests and budgets are entirely different from one another.

Some wanted to spend their money on a luxurious hotel, and some would rather spend their money at pool parties and clubs. Long story short, it took me about 3 months to decide on what hotel we should stay at. Once we finalized the hotel, I decided to get touch with the groom and his best man(s) who were planning the bachelor party and let’s just say they were not happy with the hotel we decided to stay at. At this point I told them I don’t really give a s*** about their opinion and we are going ahead with that hotel.

Tip: Create an excel sheet with a budget breakdown so people can see where their money will be going. For people who are on a tight budget, seeing a number visually will ease the process. Below is an example of how this can look like.

The next headache was coming up with an itinerary. This trip is supposed to be 3 nights and 4 days long (Friday- Monday). For Friday, the bride and groom decided that both the guys and girls should spend it together, GREAT! (rolling my eyes). Now this is where things get really COMPLICATED. I had booked all of the girls for an event where Calvin Harris was performing, and of course the best man(s) had to oppose to it, because the cost of them getting a booth there was “too expensive” (FYI: only $100 difference shared amongst 28 people). So anyways, they decided we should go to a “cheaper” event with a less interesting artist. Ok so they literally ruined our wonderful plan, but we were okay with that.

For that same day we had decided that we will get a private dining room for all the girls and guys as a surprise for both the groom and bride. At this point I had already booked a private chef, and here come along the groom’s men opposing to the idea once again. They wanted to do a $100 USD buffet. Why would anyone spend that much on a buffet? Once again, I agreed to it.

Now that the bachelorette party was somewhat coming together, it was time to plan the bridal shower. Let me tell you, this was not fun at all. The bride told us she wanted us to plan an Aladdin themed bridal shower, and once again she wanted us to surprise her so that meant we had to come up with the guest list, find a venue and a caterer, etc.

As I started planning this, I decided to use a technique I learnt when doing group work in the Master of Marketing program, and that is to DELEGATE! Instead of taking on all the responsibilities and trying to plan every single detail, I decided to come up with a list of duties and assign a task to all the bridesmaids.  I simply created a google doc and listed all the responsibilities and put a bunch of names down and shared it with everyone.

Tip: Create a Google Doc and share it with the people who will be participating in the planning process, like the one below.

The planning led all the way to April, which also meant exam time. Since there was only two weeks left till Vegas, this meant CRUNCH time.

Amidst all this, I had to deal with coordinating bridesmaid’s outfits. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TRYING TO GET 13 BRIDESMAIDS to send their correct measurements?! Anyways, once I got the measurements, I decided to order the outfits.

Tip: Ladies and Gents, whenever you are placing a bulk order for clothes, always make sure you get a sample outfit from the designer

The outfits were being made in India. It is a beautiful white skirt and crop top with gold embroidery. The cost of each outfit is $300 CAD, and each bridesmaid has to pay out of her pocket which made it more nerve wracking in terms of getting these outfits down to perfection.

Three weeks later, we received a box with all these outfits, and what happens? NONE OF THEM FIT. I called the designer and yelled at him for sending me the wrong sizes and since these are custom made, none of them are refundable nor returnable. I told the bridesmaids to re-measure themselves so I can find a seamstress to fix all of them, and turns out, they all measured themselves wrong.

Tip: Always find someone professional to get you measured

So, since it was their fault, I told them that it was their responsibility to get their own outfits fixed. Remember guys, always delegate.

Now its exam time, and I am both stressed and excited for Vegas (not really excited for my exams haha). After I finished my exams, it was crunch time for the trip, so this meant buying the decorations for our hotel and custom making our t-shirts and making any last-minute reservations. This also meant hitting the gym every single day in the hopes I would have a 6-pac for my trip.

Amidst all this chaos, I totally forgot to order outfits for my trip. So, I quickly went onto Fashion Nova, which is a famous online store for both men and women. I quickly placed an order in hopes I would get my order in time and hopefully all the outfits would fit. Fast forward a week later (I now only have 6 days left till my trip) I receive my order from Fashion Nova, AND EVERYTHING IS TOO SMALL on me. When I mean I started crying, I mean it! I called my best friend and started crying because nothing fit me and I had spent so much money on these outfits and none of it was refundable, oh and they also sent me 3 of the wrong outfits.

So, at this point my only option was to go to the mall and try to find 3 outfits for a night out, 2 for a pool party and at least 2 for a fancy dinner and lunch. So, I went to at least 3 malls, and FOUND NOTHING!

Did I mention how unnecessarily expensive stores are? I wasn’t going to spend $100 on just one dress. At this point I made a decision to go onto another online store called Pretty Little Thing. I decided to order 4 dresses, confident that they will all fit since I ordered from them before. Since I needed it expediated, I had to pay $20 USD for express shipping. 2 days later, I get my package, and as I’m furiously opening it, I try on my first out and guess what? The dresses are too big. At this point I was not even mad; I was just laughing at myself for even trying.

Tip: Never order dresses from any online shops until reading reviews on both Instagram and on Google. Try to find the exact outfit on the company’s Instagram page and see the reviews for that exact outfit. See what people say about the sizing and quality.

I come downstairs, and my mom asks me “how are the dresses?” I told her that I am just going to end up wearing my old dresses because this whole online ordering business is not working out for me. She took a look at the dresses and said that she can take me to a seamstress and just get them fixed. How genius is my mother… The same day I decide to visit my seamstress and she quotes me $50 just to get them fixed, without hesitation I gave it to her and told her I will pick them up the next day. Anyways, so that whole situation worked out somehow. I went to Post Canada to return all my Fashion Nova dresses. As we know I was already frustrated with their return policy, and then I was told I would have to pay $30 in return shipping, WHEN IT WAS NOT EVEN MY FAULT. I emailed Fashion Nova, and let’s just say I sent a very threatening message to them on both Facebook and email.

Tip: Always send customer service an email about your complaint/ experience. If you do not like their response via email, try contacting them on social media. These companies care about their reputation and the last thing they want is a bad review on their page.

Finally came the day to leave for VEGAS! Our flight departed at 9 p.m. from Toronto, so we decided to go to the airport to sit at the Air Canada Lounge to eat and drink. We then decided to stop by the duty free to pick up some alcohol since everyone who has been to Vegas knows how expensive food and alcohol can be there.

Tip: Never buy alcohol from Vegas, always get it from the airport when departing.

We all finally arrive and set-up our suite with decorations and gifts for all the bridesmaids. And let’s just say after that, the trip was a blur.

After recovering from the trip, now it was time to finalise everything for the bridal shower. This was a breeze since we hired people to decorate the venue and make all the deserts. Below is a picture of the beautiful Aladdin cake.

Today is May 26th, 2019, and within the next 3 weeks it is both my cousins and my other best friend’s bridal showers and bachelorette parties. (WISH ME LUCK)!

This story will be continued, if I make it out alive after this summer….

[actualbird]

It's totally cool if you don't!!! I get it!! However. Do you maybe have any tips on for when school is hell, I'm only asking because it seems to be hell for you a lot so maybe you have coping mechanisms (also wikihows Don't F-ing Work), but it's cool if you don't have advice! Just keep existing and being the messy and wonderful bird we all love.

hiya anon!!! and well this ask came at a great time since im starting the next semester next week, so maybe some of the stuff i do to stay alive might work for others too

schedule nap time: THIS IS NOT A JOKE IM SERIOUS. if you have a free period in between classes or even a class where you can afford to nap and nobody gives a shit, do it. and if you can, make it a regular thing. im the kind of person who needs that extra boost of energy during the day, so i put aside like 30 minutes per day to just pass out in the library. it’s rather rejuvenating. like, u might look a little bit like a mess after, but. worth it

planner/schedules/reminders: im not the type for planners because handwriting stuff is not my jam, but For The Love Of God have some sort of record for what you have to get done. this does wonders for my anxiety especially during hell week because i can see clearly whats going to kill me and plan accordingly. also, making checklists and schedules is…honestly very relaxing. for class schedules i use this app called ClassUp. it’s simple and cute and u can customize it a bunch. my checklist thing is also rlly great. it’s a chrome extension called Todoist. super straightforward with like cool stuff for deadlines and priorities AND you can hook it up to your email to send you reminders for when youre overdue on something. Todoist sends me so many emails…if you do like handwriting, maybe bullet journal? a lot of people find that fun. just try and find the type of organization that not only works for you but brings you some semblance of joy, no matter how small. god i hope im making sense.

Worry Time ™: this is something jenny @listentotheshityousay told me literally yesterday. if youre the type to get a lot of anxiety, “set aside 10~15 min every day (or maybe two short sessions per day if that works better) where u do nothing but worry.” i havent tried this yet but the logic is sound. like you exhaust your worrying in that session, and having a Time for worrying makes there also be a time for Not Worrying. it’ll help get rid of that constant feeling of dread and instead you have a concentrated but short and finite moment of dread. you cant get rid of worry, but you can sure make it more efficient. if you catch yourself worrying about something, make a note of it and worry about it in the next session. as jenny so wonderfully put it, “procrastinate on worrying.” it’ll free up a lot of time that can be used for actual work.

things thatll calm you down when youre freaking the fuck out: what it says on the tin. i dunno about you but school is panic attack heaven esp when workload gets Heavy. i figured pretty fast what the warning signs were and helped myself make that shit easier. i have a bunch of videos and songs saved in my phone that calm me down. this cute keychain i squeeze like a stressball.  origami paper (folding cranes is, ive discovered, a very effective way of calming down). just like tiny stuff you can bring with you just in case things get bad. they wont magically make things better, but at least it wont be like youre dying. 

rewards: positive reinforcement does fuckin wonders. in the hellscape of school sometimes it gets hard to feel happy about anything, so you have to take the hammer and find a way to make yourself feel happy. if you ace a test, Treat Yo Self. and this doesnt just apply to “big” achievements. i buy myself candy when i recite without stumbling over my words. tiny rewards or big rewards. i like to think it makes life feel like a game, which makes school just that tiniest bit more bearable.

just something to look forward to: i have this thing called fancy friday where on fridays i put a little bit more effort into my outfit so that i look Fly As Fuck. it makes me feel good the entire day and motivates me to get to the end of the week. i could be sobbing on wednesday but in the back of my head i’d think “at least on friday i’ll wear that cute skirt” and so i push on through. give yourself something fun to be excited about. school can be as much of a dick as it wants, but it cant take away the joy you have for something you crafted yourself. 

go easy on urself: not a coping thing but just a general reminder that while school is important, dont let yourself get too caught up in grades or work or achievement or failure. youre not a machine and youre doing your best. i think thats pretty cool

i hope school doesnt get too hellish anon!!!!

[allofusandco]

Is this a date?

Ronnie and Nik on their first date.

With @moonoverbourbon

Ronnie:

Veronica had a couple of days off – too many nights in a row on stakeout, and her body clock was completely upside down. She needed some time to decompress and rest up. She’d imagined breaking into the market in a new city would be difficult, but whether it was that people recognized her name, or that they didn’t, she’d been outrageously busy since she’d set out her shingle in New Orleans.

She sat on the swing seat on her porch. A tiny bijou home in the Garden District – she loved it, and it had been shockingly easy to buy, after only a short stay in a rooming house a ten minute drive into the city proper. It was far too big for her, and she didn’t like to think about the rooms that were closed up and gathering layers of dust. She also didn’t like to think about the boxes of things she hadn’t yet unpacked. Well, another six months, maybe? She liked the little office looking out into the greenery, she liked the kitchen despite the fact she only ever used the microwave and the coffee machine, and she liked her bedroom, tucked in the back (how anyone could sleep upstairs in this humidity without an air conditioner, she’d never know).

So, she had the night off. And Nik had only sent that one adorably shy message so she had his number. Apparently he couldn’t summon up the guts to make a date for dinner.

Fine, fine. Veronica was a lot of things. Shy wasn’t one of them. She tapped out a quick text.

[@nik]: I give up. It’s Sadie Hawkins week. I have the night off, and I’m taking you for dinner. I guess you’re working tonight, which means an early one. [@nik]: I mentioned I don’t take no for an answer, right? Where should I meet you?

–––––

Nik:

Spineless.

Nik was a spineless coward. He’d had Veronica’s number for nearly a week now and had only managed to text her once. She’d even said she was asking him out, and he still hadn’t worked up the nerve to set up a date. Tonight he was off work (actually had the next two nights off…) and had repeatedly pulled up her number to shoot her a message. Every time, though, Nik had closed out without sending anything – he simply couldn’t figure out what to say that wouldn’t make him sound like a completely desperate moron.

He was all set to try it again when her text message came through. Grinning like a fool, Nik typed out a quick reply now that the ice was broken.

[@Veronica]: I was just about to text you. I’m actually off tonight, and would love to have dinner. There’s a place in the Garden District on Magazine Street –  The Rum House. Meet you there at 7:30?

Then he tossed the phone down on the worn couch in his small apartment and rushed off to get ready. He hadn’t given himself much leeway, so it was going to be a rush job. Nik hoped she didn’t mind a little disheveled.

—

At 7:28, Nik was standing in front of the Caribbean inspired restaurant dressed in faded blue jeans, a grey Henley, and black Doc Martins that he’d had forever. He’d picked casual for a reason, not wanting the pressure of having to get all fancied up on top of the other first date jitters.

Flashing her a smile as she approached, Nik closed the distance between them and handed her the pale pink rose in his hand. “You look lovely, Veronica,” he said leaning in to kiss her cheek. Before things had gone sideways with his family, his mom had impressed on him the importance of treating a lady with the utmost respect. Nik knew how to be chivalrous and polite…even if he didn’t get out much.

“Thank you for texting,” he said, holding open the door for her and flashing two fingers at the hostess as she grabbed menus to lead them to their table. “I was working up the nerve; I’m pretty useless when it comes to asking a beautiful woman out on a date.” Pulling out her chair, Nik took his own only once she was seated. “How has work gone this week? Any more cheating spouses?”

–––––

Ronnie:

That was close enough to walk, Veronica realized. She thought she’d even seen the place, but short of being asked to investigate it she might never have gone inside.

[@nik]: Sounds perfect. I’ll see you there.

Veronica took her time getting ready – it was such a novelty, not dressing for a job (variations on ninja-esque or completely dowdy to avoid being noticed, all the way to absolute vamp if she had a job baiting a potentially unfaithful partner) that she found herself frowning at her wardrobe like she couldn’t remember sho she was, when she wasn’t being someone specific.

Probably, definitely, time to hire an assistant.

Anyway; a pretty blouse, light enough to cope with the humidity, and a denim skirt which modestly hit her knees, and a pair of boots which were probably going to prove to be a mistake but that made her legs look incredible. Was she really doing this? A date?

“Yes,” she told her reflection, once the cherry red lip gloss was in place. “You’re going on a date. It’s a thing people do when the meet a mysterious stranger with fanfiction blue eyes and curls you sort of want to pull.” She stepped away, and back again. “And dimples,” she told her reflection. I’ll see you later.”

She left the house with half an hour to spare, wandering through the pretty streets, enjoying the natural air conditioning providing by the trees. The Garden District lived up to its name. She checked her small handbag on the way out the door – not that she was paranoid, but a tazer was never a bad thing to remember, and she’d already shown one would-be mugger why it was a bad idea to mess with Keith Mars’s daughter.

She grinned widely, and bit her tongue, when she saw the rose.

“Chivalry’s not dead,” she said, on tip-toes to receive a kiss to the cheek. “I’ll have to alert the media. There’s a rumor going around than men have forgotten how to woo a woman.”

The blush was so worth it. And of course he followed up by holding the door, and her chair. He was racking up brownie points by the dozen and it was only seven thirty-two.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, waving his apology away. “It’s been a while for me, too. And honestly, I surprised myself the other morning. I’m out of practice, but I’m a sucker for dimples and blue eyes, so there.”

She took the menu. “I think I need to start with a ridiculous cocktail. Something with things hanging off it. I don’t even mind what it is, as long as it turns my tongue a different color. Oh, but a daiquiri,” she said, with a wink. “They won’t actually make me pick a rum, will they? Watermelon daiquiri, heavy on the decorations.”

She put the drinks list aside. “All the cheating spouses,” she said. “But I’m pretty sure New Orleans economic life would grind to a halt if I stopped them all. I keep telling the men – buy jewelry, and promise never to do it again. But do they listen?”

–––––

Nik:

“Chivalry was one of the things my mother drilled into my head from a very young age. She was all for the man pulling out chairs and opening the doors for ladies. It’s become something of second nature, but it gets me yelled at a lot these days.”  Nik grinned, ducking his head behind his menu as he studied the food options he’d already memorized by looking for a place online.

Veronica made mention of his eyes and those cursed dimples, and it had Nik blushing furiously. He wasn’t used to that kind of attention from women that weren’t drunken members of bachelorette parties or tourists that had wandered in after taken a turn off the beaten path. “You look lovely,” he said, not sure if he’d said that already or not.

Hell, even if he had, she deserved to hear it again. She was, he assessed, simply stunning. Nik had no idea what she was doing here with him.

“I don’t know if they will, but I’m sure you can just tell them whatever is on the top shelf. Try Bacardi Reserva. It’s one of the best mass markets out there. I’m not much of a rum drinker myself, but a regular customer brought me a bottle of El Dorado for Christmas last year. It is still sitting unopened on my counter at my apartment.”

Perhaps if the date went well tonight, he’d invite her over for drinks and movies. That was more his speed anyway; Nik wasn’t much of a partier, despite working in a bar He much preferred the low key to the flashy and flamboyant.

“You should come into the bar one night. I make the best daiquiri this side of the Mississippi – or so I’m told. I’ll even throw in a set of Mardi Gras beads and an extra umbrella.” He cracked a smile, finally getting comfortable, and closed the menu.

When the waitress came by, Nik asked if they could just start with drinks and chips. He ordered her watermelon daiquiri for her, using ‘bartender speak,’ so they’d know not to under pour the drink – and he even asked for an extra plastic flamingo and a sidecar shot of the Reserva to float on top. It wouldn’t be one that he made, but it would be as close as he could get for her. For himself, he simply ordered a glass of bourbon, and picked at the chips on the table.

“It amazes me, honestly, that people do that. If you’re unhappy, then bloody leave. My mother cheated on my father.” He paused, wondering if he was saying too much. But no, she didn’t need to know that he was the result of that affair. “They managed to work it out, but I don’t understand how you can do that to someone you love. It’s never made a bit of sense to me.” He shrugged, running a chip through the salsa in between them and popping it into his mouth.

“You’d be surprised at the number of blokes I see in the bar with wedding rings picking up women without them. It never ceases to amaze me. And the tourists… they treat New Orleans like the Las Vegas of the south. What happens here is apparently supposed to stay here. And… I’ve gone off on a tangent. You should stop me by telling me something about yourself.”

–––––

Ronnie:

“Too many syllables,” Veronica said, raising an eyebrow as the waiter came by. She was glad when Nik ordered for her – he managed to sound suitably professional, and she suspected the drink was going to be strong. Lucky the last few years had left her with a better alcohol tolerance than she’d once been able to boast.

“My mom did the same,” she admitted. “And it nearly killed my dad, but just between you and me – nineteen years later he took up with a married woman. Cheating spouses were his bread and butter, he saw what it did to people. If spouses didn’t cheat, he probably would have been out of a job. I kinda grew up figuring everyone cheated except him. And then there was that. So yeah. Big fan of just calling it quits before you do something that will tear your family apart, but then I’d be down to insurance fraud and workplace theft, so color me a big fat hypocrite.” She sat up straighter as the drink was delivered, suitably decorated, and turned. “I vote for a change of subject. Something more cheery, like the state of the Middle East. Or this drink. Wow, that’s… big.” She took a sip through a straw that was dissected by a paper toucan. New Orleans was great. “And it tastes like heaven. I promise you, this is way better than neat bourbon. If you can really beat this, I’ll be there. Is it really alright to give away beads without seeing some skin? I’d flash my boobs quite happily, but last time I did that I got mistaken for a fifteen year old boy and thrown out of the bar.”

Okay, not true, and she wasn’t the surfboard she’d been in school, either, but still. Not a lot of rack.

And she’d made Nik blush again. Smashing. He was so cute when he did that.

“Alright, something about me.” She paused. If she thought about it, it really occurred to her that since the moment they’d met, she’d done an awful lot of talking about herself, while Nik neatly redirected questions about himself right back to her. Well, some people took a while to warm. Not their fault. She spun on her stool so she could better see him – and the room.

“I nearly became a lawyer,” she admitted. “What am I saying? I did become a lawyer. But right when I was supposed to be starting a bidding war between the top tier law firms in New York, I got sucked back to California to help a… a friend who’d been accused of murder. Some people, you know? All they have to do is ask for help and you’ll run. So I kinda pulled on the PI britches again and then…”

And then what?

“I remembered how right this work felt,” she said, laughing nervously. “I could be working sixteen hour days in a corner office, with a closet full of Manolo Blahnik’s and a different Coach clutch for every day of the week, but I think it took me longer than it should have to realized I was bound to be miserable doing it. So I upped stumps and quit. I didn’t want to stay back in Neptune. Too many difficult memories. I more or less dropped my finger on an atlas when I was choosing where to go. But I like it here.” She managed not to embarrass him further by mentioning that the company was good. “The summer might kill me, but I like it. I bought a house. Feels kinda permanent to me.”

–––––

Nik:

A change of subject. That was something that Nik could readily get behind. Talking about cheating spouses opened up a whole can of worms that he’d rather not think about right now, especially when he was attempting not to make a fool out of himself in front of a beautiful woman. This line of conversation always caused him to spiral into the self-doubt that Mikael had caused, the memories of his brother’s death, the loss of the rest of his family.

He’d seen Rebekah last week at an antique store on Royal as he was walking back to the bar from dinner. She looked right at him, but the gaze had been one she might have given a total stranger on the street. So, Nik was more than grateful to change the topic.

Nik caught himself laugh at her reaction to the drink, but he nodded his head. “A change of subject would be for the best I think. We could perhaps talk religion or some other hot bed topic.”  A cheeky grin, and then he was burying his head behind his own drink to hide the growing smile. “They make them bigger, by the way, so if that one is not enough….” Nik held his hands out wide, indicating the size of her head. “We could get you one that would make sure you weren’t walking unaided by the end of dinner.”

That damn blush. He could feel the heat on his skin as he ducked his head at her fifteen year old boy comment. Nik was a man, his first instinct was to look and see if she was correct, but he forced himself to keep his head bowed until the urge passed. “I’d never mistake you for a fifteen year old boy,” he said, but that was all he allowed himself to say about the comment.

He looked genuinely impressed to find out she was an attorney. Nik hadn’t expected that, though he reasoned that she was certainly smart enough to be one. Seeing her in that world though…that was something that he just couldn’t do. It wasn’t like he knew much about her at all, but from what he did know she was a free spirit – a desk job like that would have drained her soul; it would have taken her spark.

Nik was suddenly very glad she had left that line of work – and not just because an attorney wouldn’t have even looked twice at him.

“New Orleans has been in my blood since my family came here from London. This city has a way of digging in and not letting go. It is hot, miserable, and crowded, but the people are amongst the nicest I’ve ever met. History drips from every wrought iron bannister, almost like it is a living, breathing thing. I cannot imagine, honestly, hanging my hat anywhere else.”

The waitress came back, taking their food order and disappeared into the kitchen with a promise that it would be out before they knew it. Nik honestly wasn’t in much of a hurry; he was enjoying just getting to know Veronica and having that brief moment of contact with someone that didn’t want a drink from him. “For what it’s worth, I’m incredibly glad that you think it feels permanent.”  Nik downed the rest of his drink before he could say something even stupider. “I’ve an apartment above a tourist trap T-shirt shop on Dauphine. I’m quite jealous of your house. Is it in the city or out?”

–––––

Ronnie:

“Religion, politics, was the book better than the movie – good topics for a first date,” she said, glad to be off the heavy stuff at least for now. “And if you think I’m going to be walking unaided by the end of dinner now? You haven’t noticed that I’m the size of a pixie.”

Well, five foot one was probably taller than a pixie, but not by much.

Chips and salsa, good start to the night, and something to soak up the booze. Veronica surveyed the restaurant – bar? – whatever, food and drink, it was a place, and noticed there was a dance floor, and a band setting up.

“Aye Carumba,” she said. “You should know, unaided or not, I’ll be dragging you onto that dance floor later, buddy. And don’t try to tell me you can’t dance. I won’t listen to a word of it.”

She listened to Nik talk about New Orleans and wondered about the sorts of people who would adopt a new home town – and really, it couldn’t have been much more different from London. “I guess it’s familiar, what with the snow, and the… I have nothing,” she said with a shrug. “But if I had something, it would have been hilarious. I don’t know, guess I’ve floated around more than I’d ever expected to. Neptune is where I grew up – little town with a huge gap between the haves, who are all involved in computer science, or Hollywood, pretty much, and the have nots, who are the rest of us… but the truth is, after a scandal in my first year of college close by, I left with no regret. I realized it hadn’t really felt like home since Lilly was murdered. My friend I told you about, you know. I went off to NYU and stayed in the city, but I think a part of me knew it was never going to be home, not really.”

She brushed it off. “My house is right here in the Garden District – it only took me half an hour to walk here, and I walk slowly. Still haven’t gotten accustomed to the humidity, you know. You’ll have to see it sometime. It’s my office, too, got a little sign and everything. There’s to levels, but it’s so hot upstairs all I’ve done is determine that I need an air conditioning technician to do something about before I try again.” She tried to ignore the little flicker of warmth she felt when he said he was glad she planned to stay. Too early to wonder what on earth this might turn out to be.

The food was delivered, and Veronica’s eyes widened to the size of saucers.

“You weren’t joking about the size of the burgers, were you? Holy smokes.” She examined it from four different angles.

“Good thing I can dislocate my jaw, like a snake,” she declared. “If I spill hot sauce down the front of this dress, you can’t laugh. Deal?”

She took the burger in two hands, and attempted that first, crucial bite; the one that might end in tragedy or ecstasy.

–––––

Nik:

He couldn’t dance. In fact, Nik was the very definition of two left feet. There was a mildly (okay, a little more than mildly) panicked look on his face as she spoke of dragging him out on the floor, and he raised his hand in protest. “Had I known there was a dance floor we would have gone to Burger King.” Nik was teasing; he had manners enough to never take a date to a fast food restaurant, but the thought of dancing in front of her was as humiliating as it was horrifying.

“Really though, I’d like to make it through this date without a trip to the hospital after I break your toe. I’m that bad at dancing.” It wasn’t even an exaggeration on his part; Nik could count on one hand the number of times he’d actually danced with someone, and none of them had been pretty.

Home.

When Veronica started speaking of home, Nik got a little wistful and melancholy. He hadn’t really had a home in thirteen years, not since Henrik died. Most certainly he hadn’t had one in the last ten since he’d turned eighteen. There were days when he missed London terribly, but then others when he couldn’t stomach the thought of ever going back there again. Too many ghosts. Too many memories that kept him awake at night.

“New Orleans will suck you in,” he smiled, trying to keep his thoughts on more pleasant topics. “I love the Garden District. So many beautiful houses, lots of great places to set up an easel and paint. I’m there often, painting in the cemetery…don’t judge, it’s peaceful and the light reflecting off the tombs is amazing.” Nik ducked his head, chasing a chip through the salsa absently.

“If you’d like, I can take a look at your air conditioning. I’m not the best mechanical person in the world, but I’m a bit cheaper than the average repair technician. I have a few friends about town who owe me for some free drinks, I could perhaps call in a favor.” Friends was a loose term; Nik didn’t make friends easily, and he tended to spend most of his free time alone. In fact, he had five contacts in his phone, including Veronica, and only one – his boss – was someone he talked to on a regular basis.

The food placed in front of him had his eyes drifting from her face down to his own plate. He’d gone a more traditional Mexican route, but her burger looked delicious. “You have my word, Veronica. I will not laugh nor will I make mention of the fact that your jaw comes with a reptile-like hinge.”  Nik held up his fingers in a mock Boy Scout salute and grinned.

“You have to do the same though. I tend to be a mess, so if I wind up wearing enchilada sauce, then mums the word.” Still smiling, Nik cut into his food and shook his head. Perhaps he wasn’t so horrible at this first date small talk as he thought he was. “Have you found places or things you’re enchanted by in the city yet?”

He couldn’t dance. In fact, “Take a girl on a first date to Burger King and you’re more or less guaranteed that it’s your only date. Trust me, I can teach you to dance. Just for a little while, I swear,” she said, shifting the burger between her hands until she could take another bite. With her mouth still mostly full, she added, “I’m not all that worried about broken toes.”

–––––

Ronnie:

She smiled widely, once her mouth was empty. “You paint? Wow. I always wanted to be able to, you know. I can sing, and when I was a kid, I used to try to bargain with the universe – take the voice away, and let me be able to paint, or draw, or something. Never happened, though. You’ll have to show me, sometime. I can hardly make a stick figure look human.” And this was most certainly true. “Maybe you can find something for my wall. I have nothing but a series of graduation photos, and one of my dad and me in New York City the week after I graduated high school. It’s depressing. I’d totally pay. That would practically make me a patron of local arts, don’t you think?”

There had been a handful of posters – mostly noir detective films from the days of black and white film, but they’d looked so awful on her beautiful new walls that she’d regretfully rolled them up and tucked them in a mailing tube in an upstairs wardrobe.

“But yes, it’s pretty. I love it. I especially love pretending I’m working while staring out the window of my office and pretending it’s seventy years ago.”

The offer to look at the air conditioning was tempting. “If you wanted to look – yeah, by all means. I/m sure I could find a way to say ‘thank you’. Got an old high school nemesis you need the dirt on? I can cook, too. But until I get it fixed, the whole upstairs is of no use to me, so… yeah, please.”

What did she love? What had she… what was his word… found herself enchanted by? Gosh, that accent, for a start. It was tempting to mention that, watch him blush again. She shrugged, instead.

“Everything,” she admitted. “I mean, the people, for a start. That fighting spirit, post-Katrina. People rebuilding their own homes and moving right back in. I love going down to the docks, imagining what it was like back in the day. Places that have been open since forever… you know that bar, Lafitte’s? I go there on Sunday afternoons, sometimes. The food, oh my god. I always like spicy food. Big Mexican population in Neptune. My friend Weevil, I saved his grandma’s job, she used to stuff me full of tacos every time I got near that place.”

Weevil. Thinking of him always made her smile, now he was married, and wrapped around the little finger of a three year old girl who had changed his entire life.

“But I think I prefer Cajun to Mexican, by a very narrow margin. And po’boys – they’re the best. But there’s so many things I haven’t done,” she added. “You know, Antoine’s, and Arnaud’s… maybe there are some things that are better with a friend.”

She set the burger aside for a while, and returned to her drink. Contrary to her brightest hopes she sincerely doubted she could eat the entire thing.

“I don’t know why I like it. I never expected to. You know, I had a friend, once, long time back… her name was Kylie. Friend might be stretching the term. Anywho, she was kind of your standard pretty cheerleader borderline mean girl, until she came out as a lesbian, and then she was a lesbian standard cheerleader borderline mean girl, which is the same thing except like super self-righteous. I ran into her one day in New York, and she said she was living in of all places Alaska. Alaska. Went there for work for like a week, pharmaceutical sales rep, and fell in love with the place, and now she’s… I don’t know, she’s all grown up, despite taking a fifty per cent pay cut to work in the airport in Juneau. She looked so alive.” Veronica shrugged, and reached for another corn chip. “Couldn’t imagine what that might be like until I got here, looked around, and let my heart decide to stay.”

–––––

Nik:

It had been a long time since Nik had tried to teach someone to paint. When he and Rebekah were kids, she’d come to him asking for help with a school project. She had to make a replica globe out of paper mache and paint it blue and green. He’d worked with her for hours before she finally gave up in frustration and he finished it himself.

She’d gotten high marks for it, and he’d never been prouder of a painting.

“I could do that,” Nik smiled, chasing a bite of enchilada through the sauce before popping it into his mouth. The food here was good, but he hardly had an appetite. The thought of actually being on a date with a woman that he found stunning (and who apparently liked him too) had his stomach in knots; it made the thought of finishing the food the furthest thing from his mind. “I’m not much of a teacher, but I can show you some basics. At least get you passed the stick figure phase.”

Nik cracked a shy grin, head bowing as he looked determinedly back at his plate.

Nope. Not the least bit hungry.

He actually hadn’t expected her to take him up on his offer to look at the air conditioning, but Nik wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. He had been put to work more than once around the bar fixing things here and there (really, his boss was a cheap ass and didn’t want to hire a real repair man, so Nik had done in a pinch), and he was sure her A/C wouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Besides, if it was a problem he knew people that could help for a few free beers. “I’m off work for the next two days, so I could come by tomorrow and take a look at it if you’d like. I don’t mind, and it would get it fixed all the more quickly for you. I hate the thought of anyone suffering through New Orleans humidity without air conditioning. It’s like hell itself spat out the city some days.”

Listening to her talk about everything she loved in New Orleans was like playing back his own thoughts. The people here were amazing, a mix of overly friendly and family oriented, and the culture couldn’t be found anywhere else in the world. It was truly like the Crescent City was its own country. It shared very little in common with the rest of the United States.

“One of my favorite things to do here is pull out my easels and paints, take them down to the moonwalk, and paint as the sun rises or sets. It’s some of the best lighting and the atmosphere can’t be beat. All the music, the locals, even those drunk tourists – there’s nothing about it that I would chance. And everyone in the Quarter seems to know everyone; it makes keeping things to yourself a challenge as well as a blessing. There’s always someone looking out for you.” It had taken him some time to get used to that, but now he wouldn’t trade his neighbor’s nightly check-ins for anything in the world.

“Cajun food,” he grinned, “is easy to find here, but getting the good stuff is a bit tougher. There’s a thousand restaurants, but most of them are selling you stuff straight out of a can or a box. If you want really good Cajun, you need to go to Arnaud’s. I could take you sometime.” God, he hoped that wasn’t pushing it; they’d not even gotten passed the first drink and main course of their first date and here he was talking about a second.

Nik didn’t even know if Veronica would be interested.

“I’m sorry. That was presumptuous. I just,” he looked down again, fighting the urge to tell her this was the first time in an extraordinarily long time that he’d met someone as fascinating. Nik swallowed down the rest of his drink and nodded at the waitress who was already on her way over to ask if he wanted a second. “I thought perhaps if you hadn’t had much of an opportunity to meet people, you might like a tour.” That didn’t make it sound any better, or make him sound any less desperate, so he shut up and took another bite of his dinner – wishing he could make the floor open up and swallow him whole.

–––––

Ronnie:

“Hell yes,” Veronica said. “The sooner the better. I wouldn’t mind actually using one of the bedrooms as a bedroom, the views from that floor are so much nicer.”

She couldn’t help noticing he wasn’t eating much. Could have been one of those guys who just didn’t, she supposed, hoping he hadn’t dragged himself out sick or something. He looked okay, though, or, cute as a bug, maybe, so maybe he just didn’t have much of an appetite?

Oh well. She could eat for two.

It really was sort of ridiculous. That hair, those eyelashes, those dimples, and he liked to take his easel out at sunrise and sunset. Like he’d been grown in a lab by pixies or something. She liked the image, imagined Nik had a t-shirt that was covered in flecks of paint tucked somewhere, probably khaki pants, but he probably wore bare feet… that time of the day the ground wouldn’t be too hot, right?

And now she was staring like a lunatic. Time for a rapid subject change.

“Why, Mister,” she said, in a sing-song voice, as southern as she could manage (honestly, she sounded a lot like a southern Californian girl trying to sound like she came from the actual south – what a strange coincidence), “if that was you subtly sneaking in an invitation for date number two while we’re still on date number one, I heartily accept. I’ve heard that place is amazing.”

And clearly, the awkwardness was just because they were two adults with inadequate dating experience, and not because he wasn’t having a god time. She felt vaguely smug. See? Take that, world, I’m not ready to learn to crochet yet! And she didn’t have to adopt a cat after all. No. Though it was definitely time to adopt a new dog.

She missed Backup.

“Or, does teaching me the basics of non-stick figure drawing count as a date? And what about the whole air conditioning thing? If I make iced tea – which I’m not completely awful at, by the way, will that count? We might actually be planning dates two to four at this rate. I might have to pull out my day planner.” Did people still have those, though? Veronica couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t keep her entire life in her pocket. Maybe the reference was too old to make sense. Whatever. “I might start to think you like me.”

It was a strange thought, after the last few years, one disaster after another, which she definitely wasn’t going to go into.

Oh, she’d actually just said that, hadn’t she? She giggled, or did something like a giggle – a very girly laugh if nothing else.

“Look at us. We’re not very good at this, are we? Maybe we should just admit it’s kinda weird, but going pretty well, and let’s say Arnaud’s next time you have a night off? I might even wear a dress. I know. That’s definitely date clothes, though, right? And maybe we should be drinking a little faster.”

She reached for her drink.

“So what do you paint? I imagine if you do it down on the moonwalk, which I have not yet managed to see, you like landscapes?”

–––––

Nik:

“I do like you,” Nik blurted out, then dropped his head to study the intricate design of salsa splatter on his plate. He certainly hadn’t meant for that to come pouring out, but there weren’t any take-backs in admissions of that sort he supposed.

Chasing his food around his plate again, Nik finally forked in another bite, his stomach a mess of butterflies that made it almost impossible to concentrate on the enchiladas. “That was certainly not what I’d intended to say,” he grimaced, but ended it with a sheepish smile. “I do suppose if there’s painting that it’s a date though. And…I’m pretty sure my mother would agree that a spot of tea makes it at date as well.”

He’d mentioned his mother with only the slightest twinge of pain – progress, he imagined.

“I’ve never been very good at this,” Nik admitted, feeling all the more silly for the word. “I haven’t been on an actual date in a very long time. I just don’t…” Understand what someone would see in him. That was pretty much the whole of it; Nik was, to his own way of thinking, boring and unremarkable. Besides, he had skeletons in his closet that should never see the light of day. Getting close to people made keeping them hidden all the harder.

“Okay,” he smiled, putting the fork down and finally giving up on trying to work food into his stomach. Too many nerves. “It’s weird, but it’s going pretty well.” Instead Nik reached for his drink, hoping that it would help settle the butterflies enough for him to have a decent conversation and not completely blow this date. “And yes, Arnaud’s on my next night off. Which…” he thought about it for a second, and then nodded. “Is Thursday. It’s better during the week, not as crowded.”

Nik had to admit, he was looking forward to seeing her in a dress.

But he was ever so grateful when the topic of conversation changed back to his painting. That was something he could talk about for days, something he wasn’t the least bit nervous about sharing. Nik finished up his drink just in time to order another from the waitress as she walked passed them. On a nearly empty stomach, it wasn’t taking much for him to start to feel the effects – a warm fuzziness was settling over him, making it easier for him to think of things to say.

“I paint anything that inspires me. Landscapes. Portraits when I have a suitable model. I don’t have a preferred muse; it just depends on what mood strikes me.” He shifted in the seat, pushing the plate to the side so he could concentrate on her. “What about you, love? What sorts of passions do you have?” He’d used passions in a sentence…yup, definitely feeling the effects of the bourbon.

–––––

Ronnie:

Veronica felt like a teenage girl, again, giggling over a boy. She felt the sudden need to shake herself, because as a teenage girl, she had never giggled over a boy. But she’d watched a lot of other people do it, and it was definitely what she was doing now. She half expected Lily to come around the corner, singing ‘Ronnie and Nik, sitting in a tree…’

“I guess I’m sort of a serial monogamist,” she said. “But it’s been a while. My last relationship ended when he realized I didn’t love him as much as he loved me…” Poor Piz. She sincerely hoped he would find a much, much nicer girl to fall in love with. “You can’t force it, though, can you.” And he’d never made her stomach flutter like this. He’d just been easy, solid, dependable, and that was not the stuff of love songs.

Okay, no more exes sounded like a good idea.

“So I don’t think I’m very good at this either, and yet, thanks to the miracle of Mexican food and alcohol, we’re muddling along beautifully, wouldn’t you say?” She hoped that funny little smile of his meant that he’d agree.

“And Thursday at Arnaud’s sounds absolutely perfect.”

Passions. Ugh, she was about to sound so weird. And this really wasn’t the sort of thing she talked about with just anyone. “You know, it’s funny. All those years I worked on my law degree, I would have said I was passionate about the law, and no one would have found that strange at all. It’s about as patriotic as being born with a birthmark the shape of a bald eagle. But it’s not true. It’s justice I’m passionate about. I love my job. I know the law has strictures around it, and that’s fine, most people can work within that. But my best friend was murdered by a movie star so well connected and universally adored that no jury in California would have ever convicted him. But I still proved he did it, and he lasted about twelve hours once he’d been released.” She shrugged. “Karma needs a hand sometimes. But I’ll tell you something else… I can belt out a hell of a show tune. I’ve never so much as come second at a karaoke night. Test me on that sometime. I read a lot. Something I didn’t really do much when I was younger, but I like getting lost in a good book. There’s a hammock in the back yard with a definitely dip in it in the exact shape of my ass,” she promised.

She gave up on the burger – it was just too big. It had won, drat the thing.

Anyway, she was more interested in the margarita.

“I don’t think I’ll make you dance tonight,” she said. “I can’t feel my knees, and by the time I’ve finished this I probably won’t be able to feel my ankles, either. Walking home might not be smart.”

She smiled, sticking her tongue through her teeth, and scrunched her nose.

“What a lush,” she joked. “Oh, well. This is by far the most fun night I’ve had in New Orleans, and that includes the night I pretended to be a cater waiter at a political function and accidentally on purpose spilled an ice cold beer down the back of some slimy advisor’s back for getting grabby with an intern.”

–––––

Nik:

He hadn’t really expected her to say yes to another date. The few times Nik had managed to ask someone out had been disastrous; he was too nervous, to quiet, and a semi-transient bartender in a tourist town didn’t scream ‘potential boyfriend’ material. After a while, he’d just given up. Then she came along, making his heart flutter and his stomach twist into knots.

And somehow – somehow – he hadn’t managed to screw it up yet.

Nik thought for sure he might be dreaming.

Veronica was a breath of fresh air, and he was utterly enthralled – especially when she scrunched up her nose like that.

“I would have paid hard earned money to have seen the look on his face,” he laughed, pulling out a credit card once the waitress dropped the check off at their table. “I can imagine had you been a real waitress that would have been your last night on the job.” Nik grinned, really wishing he was more into politics – had he been there, then perhaps this date would have happened sooner. She made him smile, and it wasn’t something he did often.

“My car is just outside. It’s a bit too far to walk here from the Quarter, so I drove. I don’t mind giving you a lift, and you don’t even have to invite me in for coffee.” There was no pressure on his end, never would be. Nik was painfully old fashioned when it came to dating; he never pushed, and he never asked for anything the other person was not freely ready to give. It was one of the reasons things never seemed to work out for him. “Though, I must say I’m breathing a sigh of relief and not being made to dance. I have a reprieve until at least Thursday.”

He signed the receipt, then stood to help Veronica with her chair.

–

The drive to her house was quick, only minutes that seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Nik was cursing the usually packed streets for being nearly deserted tonight. Once he’d pulled up into her driveway, he let the motor running and raced around to her side of the car and opened her door.

The intent was clear – motor was running, he had no intention of asking for anything more than to walk her to her door.

He didn’t think he’d ever walked so slow in his life, but eventually they came to the front door. Nik leaned in and kissed her cheek, pulling away before she would think he was trying for more. It was gentlemanly, and he hoped it conveyed that he wasn’t some sleaze bag bartender she might meet on Bourbon Street.

“Good night, fair Veronica. Please call or send me a text to let me know when I should come look at your air conditioning tomorrow. I’d rather you not suffer through another miserable day if it’s an easy fix. I had a spectacular time tonight. Thank you for giving me the chance.” He nodded his head, waited until she was safely inside and he heard the door lock behind her, and then jogged back to his car – still smiling, and happier than he’d been in a really long time.

-Completed Thread

[goodvibesonlyix]

OCTOBER FINANCIAL CLEANSE

Why, hello love - 

For this refreshing season with it’s crisp breeze has me thinking about the holidays and how fast they are approaching! Honestly, I couldn’t think of a better time to do a month long financial cleanse,  to better my spending habits and fatten my savings. With my wedding looming closer and closer and a constant string of celebrations coming up - this cleanse is much needed. Also, personally I want to work on my self-discipline (which I have been lacking as of lately) and doing less impulsive buying on my most-loved website (cough, cough Amazon - haaha). So, if you sound like me or just want to see how I’m doing with my journey - follow along! I’ll be updating this blog post daily with updates on my spending and overall experience.

My Rules :

1. No materialistic items 2. No take out / dining out 3. Only necessities (groceries, gas, etc.) 4. Each pay-week withdraw $100, used only for work / necessities  5. My savings goal - $700 6. Build on better money habits

Let the cleanse begin, namaste.

-

Oct. 1 

The first day of my cleanse! Yay! I’m feeling good, I haven’t dined out today. Today I went over to a local park for a Vegan Potluck hosted by my dear friend KB, Holistic Vegan Life. We all bought a home cooked dish and had some fun in the sun with good company! Amazing time. My friend and I did take an Uber to the park. However, we did walk back to my house for a glass of wine and a hot toddy.

Oct. 1 Expenses :

Uber (ride + tip) : $13

Drinks at home : $0

Tip #1 : Create your own Girls Night In, skip the club or bar. Put on a heaping dose of trap music and become your own bartender! Your pockets with thank you later x

Total : $13

October, is off to a good start!

-

Oct. 2

Today I set-up a hair appointment to have my hair braided.

1. I had the same style for far too long

2. I  wanted to deep condition my hair

3. I need to have a more flexible hairstyle for gym

The woman I go to is awesome, my braids always look great and last for about a month with proper care. She is so affordable and professional, I’m always going back!

Oct. 2 Expenses :

Braids : $70

Braiding Hair : $13

Birthday Donuts : $7

Tip #2 : It’s ok to pamper yourself once in a while - get your split ends clipped or change up your hair color. As long as you are doing it in moderation and not over doing it. So, TREAT YO’ SELF but stick your budget! I did!

Total : $90

Happy Monday!

-

Oct. 3

Back to work today! Yay … hahaa! So, one thing about me is I bring my own coffee, lunch and snacks to work. So, during the week I don’t spend much unless a emergency comes about - which happened today. A family member needed some help with repairing their brakes and being the person I am I couldn’t say no. I would hope someone would lend me a helping hand when I need a little help. “We all need somebody to lean on. .” Come guys join on in, lol!

Oct. 3 Expenses :

Brake Repair: $100

Gas - $24

Tip #3 : Lending a help hand to others is always nice however, never over extend yourself. You want to make sure you are comfortable with your pockets before filling someone else’s. Be honest with yourself and others.

Total : $124

Night, chat with you guys tomorrow!

-

 Oct. 4 

Hump day – Yassss! Today was an average work day when it comes to spending – I didn’t spend any money - I bought my own coffee / lunch / snacks. Bringing your own food and drinks to work or when you are out and about, is a smart move. Not only are you saving money – you often will pack a healthier option. You aren’t in rush, picking up sugary coffee drink on your way in or a fast food meal for lunch. When all is said and done your pockets and body will thank you! 

Tip #4 : Today I received a text message from my sister about a credit card offer she received. It was a secured credit card offer, meaning she would have to put an initial deposit on the card as collateral. Also, that initial deposit would be your credit limit. Honestly, after doing a bit of research, a secured credit card works in the benefit of the banking institution rather than the customer, to me it appears to be a pre-paid credit card. Isn’t that what a bank account is for? On the other hand unsecured credits cards are the ‘typical’ credit card that most of us have with no initial deposit / collateral which my sister decided to go with. Although, I do understand building your credit with credit, it just didn’t make sense? Give you my money so I can just turn around and use it. . Hmmm – we’ll pass! LOL! My advice regarding credit cards - they are nice to have but, be smart when racking up those charges! Ideally you want to be able to pay off your credit card monthly rather than making the monthly minimum payments and carrying a balance. Although, sometimes smaller than your purchases – those interest fees / annual fees (only applies to certain credit cards) rack up and it takes longer for you to pay off that balance. Also, it shows on your credit report and can affect your credit score when you carry a balance or when you are using a certain percentage of the credit limit. Using over 30% of your credit limits is considered “bad” on your credit report. So, be cautious and careful! Credit Karma, is a great way to monitor your credit and see how your debt is affecting your over score. 

With that said -

No expenses for Oct. 4 

Total : $0 

Feel Good Wednesday x

- 

Oct. 5 

With so much work on my desk and deadlines that need to be met - I honestly had not a moment to leave the office. With that said, I spent ZERO dollars! Go me, go me, go me! LOL

Tip #5 : Tomorrow is payday! Yay! Before paying any bills or buying a PSL, I must pay myself. An automatic deduction goes from my paycheck straight to my savings, where is stays and never sees the light of day. Investing in yourself is the smartest investment you’ll ever make and that could be in more ways than one. Love yourself / Pay yourself. 

No expenses for Oct. 5 

Happy Thursday - almost the weekend, ohh sweet weekend x

- 

Oct. 6

1.   It’s Friday

2.   It’s Payday

3.   It’s a LONG weekend

I couldn’t be happier.  I love time to myself - to get my creative juices going and reset from the work week. Working on my aura / feeling good / eating for my well-being.

Since today is payday, I started by paying myself and bills. Then, I also put a deposit on the photo booth for our wedding. No unexpected cost - although, my other half was trying to get me to go to the mall to exchange a item and grab din-din. NOPE - dinner at home with wine and Def Comedy Jam. Perfect night with the perfect guy x 

Tip #6 : DIY’s can go a long way when it comes to the budget of your wedding. Venue and vendor fees are already so overprices so where you can cut your costs make sure you do. Personally, with my wedding the DIY’s I have put together have saved me a ton. Websites like Pinterest / YouTube / Etsy - sparks so many ideas which lead to beautiful creations!

Oct. 6 Expenses : 

Savings: $150

Citi Bank: $400

Wedding Photo Booth: $260

Total : $810

Cheers to the freakin’ weekend! 

- 

Oct. 7

Saturday, felt so good! Although, I did dip into my wedding fund to purchase so decor for our big day - Yes, I have money set aside for everything. I felt good about the purchase because, we using my BOA debit card I got 5% back on my purchase. 

Tip #7 : Coupons, deals or special offers are all your friends! Haha. A tip I got from my dear friend was to always search the web for coupons before you click that buy now button. For example search “ASOS coupon” in google or go on the shop’s direct website, when at Michael’s today I hit the double jackpot. I had a deal on my BOA debit card for cash back and Michael’s website also had a few coupons I was able to pull up on my phone to use in store. Every penny counts especially when you are planning / paying for a wedding!

Oct. 7 Expenses :

Michael’s: $60

Trader Joe’s: $56 

Shaw’s: $62 

Target: $17

Total : $195

Errands and on the search for a new furnace / doors / tile. Long but great day with my love. Especially, when he treats to lunch and it’s your fave!

 -

Oct. 8

Sunday - the lazy / best day of the week. Today was full of laundry, cooking and putting together creative content. All the things that make my Sundays complete! Although, I was  home for most of this rainy Sunday, I did head to the store to grab some comfort food for my hunny. 

Oct. 8 Expenses :

Shaw’s: $15 

(Shaw’s is literally 2 mins away from my house so it shows up my bank statement quite often - LOL)

Amazon Bill: $60 

Total : $75 

Tip #8 - Be mindful when it comes to spending. Especially when you walk into one of your fave shops. Here are my tips / tricks!

1. Remember what’s in your frig, even if you need to take a snapshot before you head out the door. This helps prevent buying something you may have already. Smart, will be your nickname after you share this tip with your friends.

2. Check for sale prices or any coupons you can find in the shop’s weekly ad. There are usually special discounts or even offers to buy in bulk to save time and money in the future. 

3. LIST - oh lists on top of lists. Always, be sure to make a list of the items you need and make sure to stick to those items. Nothing more and certainly nothing less. 

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

- 

Oct. 9

A nice day off calls for comfort food / cozy clothes / creative vibes. I started today with a stack of homemade pumpkin pancakes and a nice hot mug of almond pumpkin coffee with a dash of nutmeg and cinnamon! Yum. I feel bad - I didn’t leave the house today - at all. With halloween movie marathons and lots of creative thinking going on there was no need to leave, all I need was right here. Well, that was until 1pm when Anthony had to head off to work. 

I did not spend a dime today - just the way I like it, hahaa.

Tip #9 - Money saving tip as well as a self care tip - Sending a little ‘me time’ with ones self is never a bad thing. Make yourself some breakfast, lunch and dinner, just like Mama use to. Bring out that book that you’ve been wanting to read or pull out your notepad and write down some goals you have and how you plan to accomplish them. I realized this with one bad experience I had  with one of my fave places to eat recently - I was so disappointed because, honestly I could have done a better job. I promised myself I would try and be a bit more practical next time. Something in my gut was saying to pass on it, but I didn’t listen. Lesson learned, hahaa. Listen to your inner most it knows best. Be good to yourself and your pockets! 

Recap of Expenses!

10/1 - $13

10/2 - $90

10/3 - $124

10/4 - $0

10/5 - $0

10/6 - $810

10/7 - $195 

10/8 - $75 

10/9 - $0

Total: $1307 with all bills paid, hair done, putting deposit on wedding photo booth and lending a helping hand. I don’t think I did too bad! Let’s keep the good money habits rolling, every penny counts. 

Thank you for being here x 

- 

Oct. 10

Today was a fun filled day of training on a new computer system. Although, long and tedious - I learned a lot and caught up with some good people. Today like most days I bought in my own coffee, lunch and snacks. Then after training - I came home and relaxed. Needless to say - I did not spend any money. I had everything I needed from coffee to leftovers for din-din. 

Tip #10 - In the line of work that I’m in, I know the importance of paying your bills on time because there could be life changing consequences. I’m not saying if you don’t pay your phone your bank account will be levied. But, if you don’t pay your phone bill it could result in late fees or even having your phone disconnected. You always want to pay your bills in a timely manner to avoid any of that awful backlash. Also, it matters when it comes to your credit! Creditors report late payments to all three credit bureaus for future creditors to see if you are a reliable payor or not. If not, it can make it harder for you to get more important lines of credit such as a  mortgage or cosigning for your children’s student loans. There are so many bill alerting apps, which track your bills’ due date and the amounts that needs to be paid each month. Be smart with your money love, your future self will thank you. 

No expenses for Oct. 10

Total: $0

Have a great night! 

- 

Oct. 11

Today has been a pretty cloudy day. Not really feeling my best, so today was a well needed day off. A bit of self-care and love. Lots of tea and shut eye. However, I’m off to a sweet little baby shower this weekend. So, Anthony and I went to Babies R Us in search of a gift. After about an hour of searching for the perfect treat we were ready to check out which leads me to . .

Tip #11 

THE PRICE MATCH TOOL! Most retailers will price match items from other online and in-store retailers. Always, make sure to ask sales person if the shop offers this service especially if you know an item is sold in a variety of shops. Take your time - there is no need to rush  so you can be sure to find the lowest price. For example - today we saved over $20 bucks by simply taking a few moments to search the web for the best deal. Saving any amount is always better than nada. 

Oct. 11 Expenses :

Target: $15

Price Match Tool: $20 

Total: $-5

Until tomorrow x 

- 

Oct. 12

My day started bright and early! I have a guest coming over Friday night, so I needed to head to Target for some apps and treats! Oppose to me getting the regular takeout when I have my girl pals over. I’ve been trying my best to be better at cutting back costs by going with either homemade meals or picking up foods I can pop in the oven! Takeout can be so expensive especially with the delivery cost! Also, who can resist going to Target - not this girl that’s for sure! So, I went up and down the isles loading up on my goods with a smile. Finally, I ended up meeting up with my favorite cashier to do some damage. Then suddenly I realized, I needed to check out cartwheel app and to my surprise I found more than half my goods where discounted through this golden app! Score! Double score when I used my Target Red Debit Card, I saved nearly $10 when all was said and done! With a little patience and time I found deals that I would have not gone had I not visited my cartwheel app before checking out. I even came to the conclusion with little bit of change I saved I would buy us a nice bottle of wine! 

Tip #12

If you noticed I mentioned I have the Target Red Debit Card. Which means I basically have a debit card for Target. When I first signed up, I was offered the debit card which would be linked directly to my BOA account. Or a Target credit card that would work like any other credit card through a third party bank. I decided a long time ago, if I didn’t have it I didn’t need it! With that said I went with debit card and never looked back since! I don’t have a monthly bill and don’t have to worry about flexible interest fees. It’s my money - my debit card which means I don’t owe anyone. Plus, I save 5% on all my purchases. My fiancé and I recently bought a new television with the Target Red Debit Card we saved over $50. I know I sound like a Target Ad hahaa! That’s why Target should sponsor me! Holla at ya girl! LOL 

 Oct. 12 Expenses: 

 Target : $66 

 Wine Store: $39 

 Total: $105 

I hope everyone had a spectacular day! 

- 

Oct. 13 

 It just wouldn’t be October without Friday the 13th! I love all things Halloween, from the horror flicks to the sweet treats! The season is upon us with those Jason classics! Today is a beautiful crisp day in Boston. The sun is out and the air is cool. However, the only sun I’ll be able to see is when I take my walks around my workplace building. I work an extremely long day today and although I’d rather be apple picking with friends. I have a lot of work to complete before the weekend. So, its all good! Being at work the entire day also leaves no room for money to be spent. And from my previous post you know that I already have dinner squared away. Which means . .  

Oct. 13 Expenses: $0 

Total: $0 Yay! #notakeout 

Tip #13 

With today being Friday the 13th and all Hollows Eve approaching, I’m sure many of you are thinking - “What will I be this year?” and “Where should I start looking?” My answer to that question is your closet and craft bucket! DIY Halloween this year, don’t go out and spend a ton of money on costume that’s probably cheaply made but cost $50 and UP! A few of my favorite DIY costumes are - a Cat, Disco Star and Beyoncé (of course)! Check out Pinterest and Instagram for more great ideas!

 Stay spooky and careful!

- 

Oct. 14 

Lazy Saturdays call for Boston Bagel Company and long drives with my love. I did a little self care and caffeine therapy. However, I did spend a little on Wedding decor. AC Moore was having a great sale on all their items, even sale! I’ve been waiting for this sale for some time now, so I knew I wanted to seize this opportunity to make out some deals. Sooo - $70 later I was wondering what I bought! Hahaha - but it’s all good. I left satisfied with my purchase! Although, I went a little out of the scope of my cleanse - this sale didn’t want to miss out on, especially when I could saving a dollar on items I needed in bulk. Wedding costs can add up so whenever I can catch a sale, I’m all for it!

Tip #14 

Even when you stray from your budget / spending plan. It’s ok - as long as you are conscious of what you are buying and where your money is going. If you need to spend due to an emergency or a sale that would save you a ton on an item(s) you need - thats ok. Conscious spending, can save you a lot in the long run because you won’t be spending just because you have it in your account. You’ll be buying with purpose.

Oct. 14 Expenses:

AC Moore: $70

Starbucks: $10 (Reload To App) 

Target: $77 (More, Wedding decor LOL)

Total: $157

Cheers to Saturday x 

- 

Oct. 15

After a pumpkin pancakes type morning, I was ready for the day which called for a celebration of a little bundle of joy! It was great day filled with laughs and catching up with friends. I didn’t spend any money today with food being served at the baby shower and enjoying the company of those around me. I had no need to spend. It was without a doubt a great day!

Tip #15

One thing that I have not done in a while that I did this weekend was do my own nails. This simple act can save you so much! On average with nails and toes I spend about $50-$60. No act is too small! Save yourself the hassle and pamper yourself at home, like no other!

Oct. 15 Expenses: $0

Total: $0

Dear Sunday, I love you x 

- 

Oct. 16

Monday, I love you too - just in a different way. Hahaa! Today started at Target I needed to pick up some stuff for my mother and fur baby, Willow. I could have done some serious damage but, I was steadfast on this cleanse and I honestly didn’t need anything else for the Wedding from Target at this time and there was no emergency. So, I was in and got right out. I didn’t even stop for Starbucks (Anthony would be proud)! 

Tip #16 

Cutting back on Starbucks has been a bit hard for me. I love their seasonal drinks but, I’ve learned to make my own Pumpkin Spice Latte / Coffee with the help of YouTube! I estimate that I’ve saved about $25 thus far this month! Honestly, I feel better drinking my homemade Starbucks drinks and they have way more vegan friendly. Making your own faves are so easy to make and save more than you think. Try it - I promise you won’t regret it!

Oct. 16 Expenses: $33

Total: $33

Recap of Expenses!

10/10 - $0

10/11 - $-5

10/12- $105

10/13 - $0

10/14 - $157

10/15- $0

10/16 - $33

Total: $290 

Not bad - if I do say so myself!

- 

Oct. 17 

Lonnngg day at work. All that had going on with today was loads of work and the gym. I can’t complain. It was a nice and productive day, I must say. Just the way I like em’. With that said, I send $0 today. No need to buy anything when you have all you need inside you lunch sack and on your phone! 

Tip #17 Gym fees can add up and not to mention if you don’t make it to the gym most of the time it can be a waste of money. One alternative to going to the gym is looking up fitness videos on YouTube. My favorite is Fitness Blender’s HIT workout videos. It gets the job and usually under 30 minutes! The only reason I feel the need to have a gym membership is because, I have a Wedding coming up and I’ll be one of the main attractions! I want to look and feel my best so I’m up for the challenge! 

Oct. 17 Expenses: $0 

Total: $0 

Whooaaaa! Go Me! 

-

Oct. 18

Another day in the neighborhood. The weather was beautiful, truly a perfect fall day! Today was another long day at work. With my homemade lunch, coffee and kombucha, I didn’t have to step out of the office. Well, I did when I took my daily walks. Today I didn’t spend any money and staying on track with my cleanse!

Tip #18 

I have a couple of friends who are obsessed with their credit scores and constantly asking me “Why is my credit score not going up?” It’s because they are constantly checking Credit Karma striving to reach the 700′s. However, it’s not about being apart of the “800 Club” it’s about the creating better money / spending habits. So, don’t take it so serious, your credit score matters. But, it’s not the end all be all. You go this x 

Oct. 18 Expenses: $0

Total: $0

Happy Hump-Day!

-

Oct. 19 

These last couple of days have been nothing less than amazing – the weather has been awesome, I’ve been making it to the gym every night this week and I booked a trip! Life can’t get any better. Today I continued with my regular routine with homemade breakfast / coffee / lunch. I did not spend a dime, yes! Tip #19 

Quote : “I do not work for money. I work for the freedom” –Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street 

Oct. 19 Expenses : $0 

Total: $0 

Cheers to the Weekend Eve! 

-

Oct. 20 We have reached the weekend! As well, as payday! Woke up bright and early to run a few errand before work. Today started off at Car Wash where I did some serious cleaning of second half, Lola (my Honda)! She looks amazing from the inside out. Then I had to fun over to Target to pick up some dinner essentials and other little things which included Halloween décor, Wedding baskets and lady products. Feeling so good, so productive! 

Tip #20 

Quote: “Become so financially secure that you forget that it’s payday.” – Genius 

Oct. 20 Expenses: 

Car Wash: $18 

Target: $114 (Included cash back – always need cash on hand) 

Total: $132 

Cheers to being more than half-way through my financial cleanse!

- 

Oct. 21 

Saturdays feel so good to me! Especially when you have one that includes Wedding shopping and Halloween parties surrounded by a fire pit with sangria in hand! Amazing company and convos, it couldn’t have been better. Today I sent a bit on Wedding items - table numbers, something blue and a welcome sign. Then later at the Halloween party in support of one my high school friends I bought some of his creative goodness - probably sent way too much! LOL Breaking my cleanse a bit - but, I consider it comes out of my $100 bi-weekly allowance and it helps a creative do what they know what to do - be creative and thrive!

Tip #21

Quote: “The goal isn’t more money. The goal is living life on your own terms.” - Chris Brogan

Oct. 21 Expenses:

Etsy: $150 

Shaws’s: $22

Halloween Bash: $56

Total: $228

Hope you’re having a great Saturday!

- 

Oct. 22

Lazy Sunday full of naps and treats. Although, I didn’t have to leave the house much. I did buy a gift for a friend’s bridal shower next week, which was so much fun! I even found a few things to add to our registry! 

Tip #22

Quote: “There’s no way I was born to just pay bills and die.” - Unknown, #FACTS

Oct. 22

Bridal Gift: $24

Total: $24

Relax and be good to yourself x 

- 

Oct. 23 

Mondazzze can be a drag but, not this Monday the sun is shining and I feel great after a great weekend that ended with a great night’s sleep. Today was a long day at work with so much to get done before I was away from my home office for a bit. With that said I did not have to leave the office and I went straight home after work due to pure exhaustion. I did not spend any money! Whoaaa - another day down!

Tip #23

Quote: “Financial freedom is available to those learn about it and work for it.” - Robert T. Kiyosaki

Oct. 23 Expenses: $0

Total: $0

Recap of Expenses!

10/17 - $0

10/18 - $0

10/19- $0

10/20 - $132

10/21 - $228

10/22- $24

10/23 - $0

Total: $384

Hope you enjoyed your Monnddazzze x

- 

Oct. 24 

Pretty day - good vibes - self reflection Tuesday. Today was a pretty good day - long but good! I went for my daily walks and caught up with a good friend. I bought all I needed to work so I didn’t need to leave the workplace. This is becoming part of the norm I know but, this was my goal to be able to go to work without having to spend on breakfast / coffee / lunch / more coffee / dinner. My eye is on the prize to save the $700 I’m aiming towards. 

Tip #24 

Quote: “Pursuing your passion is fulfilling and leads to financial freedom.” - Robert G. Allen 

Oct. 24 Expenses: $0

Total: $0

- 

Oct. 25 

I can’t believe I made it this far! I’m less than a week away from completing this financial cleanse. This was just what I needed and helped me be a bit more money smart. Realizing I didn’t always need to spend when I went out and that home cooked meals will always be better than whatever is on the menu for takeout. Today I did have to get my braids done over for upcoming events and the gym had turned my head into a hot sweaty mess. Hahaa. So, I made my way over to my friend’s house to get this hair did. Once done my mother asked if she could have a break from cooking and could we just get some .  .  . do I dare to say it?! TAKEOUT. Although, this goes against my financial cleanse. I just can’t say no to my mother. I love her too much. So, I did some damage :(

Tip #25

Quote: “If saving money is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” - Willam Shatner 

Oct. 25 Expenses:

Braids - $70 

Takeout - $60 

Total: $130 

Ouch! But, it’s all good. Take care beautiful people x 

- 

Oct. 26 

Today instead of traveling to my home office in Taunton, I went to Chelsea to participate in user acceptance training for a new system that my employer will be implementing in early December. I love traveling to this location due to the fact that I can travel via the MBTA, which is my local transit system. I get to enjoy my ride to work with a book or podcast! So, along I went. I did have to pay for the train and bus. I loaded my Charlie Card aka Metro Card. I also treated myself to a cup of Starbucks. I know no take out meaning no coffee but, it was calling my name, honestly! Hahaa 

Tip #26

“You’ve got to tell your money what to do or it will leave.” - Dave Ramsey

Oct. 26 Expenses:

Charlie Card : $10

Starbucks: $4

Total: $14

Happy travels my loves!

- 

Oct. 27

Aww - I have made it to the final weekend of my financial cleanse! I can’t believe I’ve made it this far! Like seriously - I’m so impressed with myself and all the progress I’ve made. The cleanse will be done on Tuesday, then I will be sharing all the data I’ve collected and most importantly HOW MUCH I SAVED and HAVE I REACHED MY GOAL? Be sure to be here to check it out. 

So, today my love and I had the day off. So, we made our way to the mall because I was in desperate need of a facial cleanser and eye cream. We get to the mall and after picking out what I needed at The Body Shop, I make my way to the checkout… I left my wallet at home! Maybe it was a sign that I should NOT be shopping, LOL! I mean I am on a cleanse! That’s when my superhero stepped and saved the day! Thanks to my love, I have clean skin! We also went to Spooky World with his brother, sister and a friend. I did buy the kiddos some treats so, I did spend a little but, not very much at all! 

Tip #27 

“Also, check your bag twice for your wallet.” - Tiffany 

Oct. 27

Treats : $8

Total : $8

Wallet-less Tiff signing off x 

- 

Oct. 28 

Chill Saturday with spooky movies, blogging and house work going on. Life couldn’t be better. Plus, my love has the day off. I’m not planning on leaving the house until later for a Bridal Shower, with my gift already purchased there is no money coming out of my pocket today! Yes! I guess I spoke to soon, life did just get better!

Tip #28

“Building wealth is like a marathon not a sprint. Discipline is the key ingredient.” - Dave’s Daily Tip

Oct. 28 

Expenses : $0

Total : $0 

Keep the good vibes only rollin’ x 

- 

Oct. 29 

Low - key Sunday, filled with all things Halloween and living in my PJ’s. In the name of laziness  - I broke my cleanse. I bought takeout! I have to be honest with you guys, I didn’t feel like cooking today and dived into some pizza and ginger ale. But, I can’t beat myself up about it because I was in the mood for some me time and self pampering. 

Tip #29 

If you must choose takeout, save a few bucks and choose the pickup option instead of delivery. Maybe even walk to pickup your grub, get some fresh air and exercise. 

Oct. 29 Expenses

Takeout : $20

Amazon Rental (Annabelle Creation): $6

Total: $26 

Happy ‘ME’ Sunday! 

- 

Oct. 30 

Today was a great Fall day - started with a bit of rain and me losing power. However, as the the day went along the sun came out and I received good news that one of my co-workers was moving on to bigger plans. Which makes me so happy that someone is following the path they want to lead! Due to the power going out this morning, I didn’t have my morning coffee brewed at home. So, Starbucks again was calling my name (FYI : I will have my PSL hack up on my Instagram tomorrow) so I was excited for my AM treat. Yes! Tomorrow is the last say of this October Financial Cleanse, be sure come back tomorrow for my results! 

Tip #30 

Quote: “What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.” – Julia Cameron

Oct. 30 Expenses:

Starbucks: $10 

Target: $9 

Total: $19

Happy Mondazzee, live it to it’s fullest x 

- 

Oct. 31 

Final day of my cleanse! I can’t believe I made it! Most of all I can’t believe I’m done with my first month long blog! It wasn’t easy but all worth it. I’ve learned that you have to make your money work for you, not against you. You decide where your money goes. Good money habits, create opportunity for you do things that are value. Not the next Gucci bag or a BMW. Rather create memories with loved ones with travel and exploring new cultures by trying new foods or traditions through art exhibits. 

I’m happy to say I saved just under $1,100! My goal was $700 that means I’m in the surplus of $400! What a achievement, I couldn’t be more happy and proud. Today I intentionally did not spend any money. Just in the effort to end my cleanse with a bang. So, for the last day of my cleanse . . 

Oct. 31 Expenses: $0 

Total: $0 Tip #31 

Quote: “It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.” – Geroge Lorimer Thank you for sharing this experience with me. Stay tuned in November, I’ll be starting a new cleanse! 

- T, x 

[plathwasaperfectionist]

Chances are, if you’re in college, you’re pretty new to living on your own and managing your own money. Especially if you have to pay for things on your own, but even if you’re just making loan money last through the semester, it can be overwhelming. I’ve been paying my own way for almost two years now, and I’ve learned a TON about how to save money, prioritize, and live off more than ramen and bottom-shelf vodka (although bottom-shelf wine is still fine by me). Here are the best tips I have to offer:

1. Cook at home

Meal plans are a rip-off, and ordering food all the time is a waste of money. It’s so much cheaper (not to mention healthier) to buy your own groceries and cook your own meals. Even if you’re in a dorm kitchen with a mini fridge in your room, you can do a lot with some basic kitchen supplies and groceries. I love this website to find recipes--it breaks each recipe down by the cost per serving, so you know exactly how much each meal is costing you. Once you realize you can make filling food yourself relatively easily for a small fraction of what you would pay even at a fast food place, it’s hard to justify the expense. Just tonight I made a huge pot (probably six servings) of three-bean chili for less than 5 dollars total.

(And 1.5. If you commute or have long days, bring food with you. Buy a set of Tupperware with varying sizes (some big enough for salads or soups, some smaller for snacks or sandwiches), and double your recipes so it’s easy to bring leftovers with you to campus every day.)

2. Eat more plant-based meals

Meat and dairy are fucking expensive, and you’ll save money by using less of it or by cutting it out entirely. I’m not talking about buying processed meat-free substitutes because that’s even more expensive. Instead, try using things like grains, beans (dried instead of canned is even cheaper!), or tofu in dishes instead so you can fill up on cheaper food that’s better for you. When you can, substitute frozen produce for fresh to save money too (save the fresh stuff for salads, roasting, or eating raw--those are the only times you can really tell the difference).

3. Stop buying coffee

If you drink coffee daily (I do!), then you should have a coffee machine and make it yourself. A travel mug, real coffee machine (no Keurigs!), and a tub of coffee grounds is way cheaper. At Starbucks/Dunkin/Tim Horton’s you’re paying three dollars a cup for something you could make at home for pennies. Even if you drink lattes/something espresso-based instead of drip coffee, a stovetop espresso maker, milk frother, and a bottle of your favorite syrup works out to be cheaper over time, and you can control exactly what goes into your drink! 

4. Download Honey

Honey is a browser extension that automatically checks for coupon codes/cash back options when you’re shopping online. In my experience, it works everywhere but Amazon (their discount codes tend to be product-specific so the odds are low that you’re buying the exact right thing), but it can net you some pretty major savings with little to no effort.

5. Move the fuck out of your dorm (maybe)

At least at my school, living in a shared dorm room costs literally twice what it costs me to live off campus in a large two-bedroom apartment (my boyfriend and I use the second bedroom as a home office). Also watch out for any school-affiliated apartments that lure you in with amenities like a pool, rec center, or game room--they tend to be even more expensive, and you probably won’t use the extra amenities that often. Do your research, of course, because there are some places with a high cost of living where rent will definitely cost more than the dorms. That said, you’re most likely paying extra for things like cleaning and maintenance when you could easily do that yourself (and not have to share a bathroom with twenty strangers either). Move out, feel like an adult, and thank me later.

6. Take care of the things you have

Even if you’re buying cheaper things instead of investment pieces, if you take care of them they should last a long time and save you money on replacements. All of my furniture is hand-me-downs from IKEA, so when I moved into my current apartment I was extra careful to cover the edges of things made out of cheap particle board and make sure that nothing scratched the paint on my bed frame. Don’t treat anything like it’s disposable--being careless with your things can add up.

7. Thrift stores, dollar stores, and discount grocery stores!

I fucking live for the deals I can find at inexpensive stores like these. Chances are, you have these options near you, but you may not have considered shopping there because your family never did. Keep in mind that just because your parents might be able to afford shopping at Wegman’s or Whole Foods as grown-ass adults, that doesn’t mean your college budget can handle it. Open your mind. Thrift stores are great for clothes (just check for holes, sweat stains, and weird smells and wash before you wear), but they can also have furniture (don’t get anything with fabric, though--stick to all-wooden or metal pieces), kitchen stuff (I got a set of beautiful wine glasses for six dollars one time), or storage containers. Dollar stores are the best place to find cleaning or kitchen supplies, as well as things like Q-tips and cotton balls, paper towels, or little containers to organize with. I would steer clear of the makeup and the food, however. Buy your food at discount grocery stores (like Aldi’s, PriceRite, etc.). While they may not look like the grocery stores you’re used to (at Aldi’s, for instance, they keep the projects in the cardboard cartons they come in to make stocking faster and cheaper), their products are just as good and wayyyy cheaper--I usually pay around $50 for groceries that feed my boyfriend and me for two weeks. If you don’t have a similar store near you, try buying the generic brand of most foods, and sticking to whatever produce is in season--it’ll be cheaper and taste better.

8. Student discounts (obviously)

This is a pretty basic one. I got Microsoft Office for free and a free six months of Amazon Prime (and then a half-priced subscription) with my student email, but you can get discounts at a lot of places. Check this list to see. 

9. Track what you spend and use it to set a budget that includes savings

The biggest thing that made a difference for me was actually seeing what I spent--it was way more than I thought. I hadn’t realized how quickly buying snacks, meals on campus, alcohol, and impulse buys to treat myself could add up. You can use an app like Mint to do this automatically, but I found that using a customized spreadsheet and inputting everything I spent when I spent it kept me the most accountable. I also tracked what category the purchase was (bills/food/entertainment/clothing/etc) and whether it was something I needed or not (groceries and a new pair of basic black heels for mock trial I needed, two new face masks I did not). Once I’d done this for a couple months, I added up all the categories and made a monthly budget for myself, making sure to budget some money for savings and restricting each category some, but not too much. If I didn’t let myself spend some money on makeup, books, or meals out, I’d go crazy--budgeting a small amount for “extra” stuff will keep you on track to save money, but without feeling overly restricted.

10. Credit card points and cash back

If you still use a debit card for everything, get a credit card. Having some kind of credit score is so important for everything from getting approved for loans to renting your own apartment. Just make sure that you’re paying it off on time, not letting a balance roll over from month to month, and not using more than a third of your credit limit at any time. Not only will you build credit, you can also earn cash back or airline points on purchases you’d be making anyway.

11. Take advantage of your school’s perks

I was paying four dollars a day to take the metro to and from campus, which doesn’t sound like much, but it adds up over time (I have classes three days a week this semester, so that’s almost fifty dollars a month at minimum). Recently, I realized that my school has a shuttle that comes once an hour close to my apartment--all I have to do is leave ten minutes earlier every day, and I save fifty dollars a month just by using what my school offers. The same principle applies to things like your school’s gym, free food at events, free coffee or tea on campus, services at your career services office, or even the student health center. It’s included in your (probably way too high) tuition anyway, so you might as well use it and not waste the money!

12. Find dupes

I was obsessed with the trio of serums Glossier released a few months back, but the set cost $65, so I held back. I’m so glad I did, because I found this skincare brand called The Ordinary, which sold serums with basically the same chemical composition for less than $10 each (some for around $5-6). They also come in larger bottles, and I was fucking sold. I’m a sucker for Glossier’s aesthetic, but I’m also broke as hell. If you’re interested in the specific dupes, here are ones similar to Super Bounce, Super Glow, and Super Pure. (ELF’s eyebrow treat and tame is also basically the same as Boy Brow--you’re welcome). So many products in the beauty/skincare realm are marked up simply because of their brand name, and it’s worth looking around for similar things at lower price points--especially when it comes to skincare, if you know the active ingredients in a product it’s easy to find something similar without the gimmicks.

13. Figure out whether you find it harder to spend with cash or card

...and then start carrying that one with you. Most people find it easier to spend on a card than to hand over cash, because you’re limited to the amount you have and you can physically see it leaving your hand. I find it easier to spend cash because I check my bank balance often and I only see card purchases reflected there--for me, it’s easier to hand over cash and forget about a purchase. Figure out which is harder for you to spend on and use that method as often as you can. Leave the other one at home. If you need more limitations, either only bring a certain amount of cash with you or transfer most of your money into savings and keep a low balance in your checking account--you can’t spend more than you make available to yourself.

14. Be prepared to do weird and/or creative things

Ultimately, how you save money depends on what you spend on. I don’t have laundry in my building, and it would cost me six dollars per load to do it across the street (the only laundry machines that are close enough to my building). So, I bought a little $50 hand-crank washing machine and a clothes rack, and I wash my clothes by hand in my bathroom and air-dry them. I also grow things like lettuce and basil in my kitchen windowsill. Be creative, and don’t spend money on things unless you have to.

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Hey, you might remember this post I made over a week ago about making my first sale on www.workshoptactics.com.What is your product?With endless, lengthy and complicated design and team workshop exercises out there, and tonnes of terrible ineffective meetings: Workshop Tactics is a simple, curated set of Agile workshop exercises to help your team get stuff done effectively.What motivated you to start?As a digital designer, I wanted to create a physical product that solved a problem I kept seeing. People who know how effective a good workshop is, don't know which one to run, or when. I wanted to leverage all of my design, website, marketing and research skills and go out and do it for myself.How long have you been working on it for?I've been working on Workshop Tactics since December last year. It started out as a website, which I scrapped. I believed having something physical would reflect the offline nature of a workshop. Writing the content has been the most time consuming aspect.What's your one year and five year plan?In 6 months, I hope to either have created a successful Kickstarter - and sold 1000 copies. In 5 years, I hope to be in the back pocket of every great digital product team in the world.What have been your most memorable positive and negative experiences?The most memorable experience was unboxing the prototypes. I was physically shaking with excitement. This thing that existed on a screen for so long was about to become real! Seeing the delight on people's faces as they looked at them was a great feeling too. The worst experience has been the long slog its taken to get here. Looking at online competition and other great resources and constantly battling the doubtful feeling of "why bother, this has already been done really well". - but it's not been done by me!Advice I would give myself if I was starting out againSeek feedback earlier and more often. Don't be afraid of the telephone. Speak to people! You'll learn more than you could ever dream.The following is a fairly in-depth story of how I got to where I am now, which is now planning my kickstarter campaign, with 70 dedicated customers with a mailing list of only 240.So how do you grow a mailing list from 0?You grow it to 1, then you grow it to 2, then 3.This is clearly garbage advice, but there is some truth to it. So what am I getting at? One of the most important things I learned was from reading Seth Godin’s “This is Marketing”. He talks about finding your smallest viable market. Sell to one person, and grow from there. You need to treat your mailing list in the same way.So how did I sell £1400 of product in a week from a mailing list of 200?1. Do you know what specific problem you are solving?This product solves a very niche problem in a niche sector of the software development industry. Being niche means you can laser focus on a problem. Chances are if you are solving a problem for one person, you are solving it for many. The problem I was trying to solve was there is too many workshop resources out there to choose from, and it’s not clear which you should do or when. So my product curates the best workshops, and tells you why and when to use them. Problem? Too many over complicated workshops. Solution? A curated set of simple workshops.2. How do you find out if people would buy it?The solution is simple. Make it so people can actually buy it. I created a landing page with a mock up of the product (a set of cards). The name and brand were also a part of this test. It needed to feel like it was real. I spent most of my time honing the content to make sure the proposition was as clear as possible. I spent in total £400 on LinkedIn ads. This allowed me to test which marketing message was most effective, as well as what landing page copy was most effective. But how did I know if it was effective or not? I didn’t enable people to buy the product. So what did I do instead?3. How do you know if the idea is “validated?”I got a staggering 20% conversion rate. The thing I measured? Email sign ups with the sole intent of being notified when the product would be available. An email sign up told me two things:There is intent to purchase.They are willing to wait to find out when they can buy it.This gave me confidence I had an idea that would sell. How did I know this really telling me my product idea was validated? Anything above 5% is extremely good. But it’s not an exact science, this data only gives you a steer. There were other things I had yet to learn. How much would people pay for it? Would people actually find the product useful in reality?4. How did you go from 20 to 200 subscribers?During this time I also tweeted to my peer group (500 followers) and LinkedIn connections (900). This grew my list to nearly 100 subscribers! Why didn’t I do this in the first place? Because I wanted to validate my idea with strangers. Based on all this data, I knuckled down and made version one of the product. I knew the time I invest now wouldn’t be wasted. But how would I find out if what I was making was any good?5. Learning is the name of the game, but how do you learn without a product to test?I was already aware of my target audience, as I work with them every day as a consultant. It would take some time before I could get a physical version of the deck out, but I wanted to make sure I was starting off on the right foot. I created a short survey that asked my subscribers and peers what their expectations of the product was. What they were already using, and what their biggest problems are.The responses I got gave me valuable insight into my target customer. Those that filled the survey also expressed interest in trying a free prototype of the product in exchange for more feedback. Creating this early connection with my audience was key. They will later become my advocates, ambassadors and evangelists of the product. Word of mouth is king.6. What has product development got to do with growing an email list?I wanted to make sure I had enough people interested to send something to. With an MVP, it’s entire purpose is to answer high risk assumptions about your product. What’s the biggest assumption I have? That people would actually use it, and find it useful. The other big assumption? That I had an audience for my product. Instagram was a longer test of finding my audience. So there are two tracks of development. Product, and audience.How much did I spend on making the prototype? For the price of learning, it cost £300 to send 30 decks to my subscribers. I skimped on quality, because all I was concerned about was the physicality and the content. I had to create something that functioned to that level.Why didn’t I just send out a PDF? I could’ve done, but the other thing I wanted to learn is if people valued having it as a physical object. That was another assumption I was testing.What happened next? I saw people were tweeting about it, which felt really good. I really started to believe I was on to something. But the nature of the product meant it was hard to get immediate feedback. I had to wait a little while for people to have the opportunity to use it.It would be a few weeks before I started to hear feedback. I had to chase a lot of people. 10 of those 30 I never heard from. However, those that sent me feedback, and those who I spoke to over the phone gave me such ground breaking feedback that I had a clear plan of how to improve the product.Pro-tip: The purpose of an MVP: Minimal effort for maximum learning. If you aren’t learning from an MVP, you’re doing it wrong. Treat your instagram like an MVP.7. How did my email list magically double?When I wasn’t working my job, or working on the product itself, I was working trying to grow my audience. Can I tell you a secret? There is no such thing as magic. It took a lot of work. A friend introduced me to using Instagram for marketing, but I dismissed it. The whole hashtag chasing, selfie taking culture wasn’t for me. But as I dipped my toe into it, I found out where my niche audience was hanging out. Hashtags are kind of a miracle when you find the right ones.I created a tonne of content, experimenting with different hashtags until I found what worked. Making all the content and scheduling it was a life saver, it also gave credibility to the brand I was growing, to be active on social media. I created content that I believed would give value to my audience. Not random arty photos of any old bollocks. Actual tangible advice, step by step exercises, quotes that genuinely tried to change perspectives.Were my posts performing? In the first couple of weeks, no. But as I zoned in on the right hash tags, and learned what content was resonating - I started to find my people. Those people lead to even more wonderful things. Because of Instagram, I was invited onto a podcast about my products niche, which gave me another marketing platform.8. Where are you at now?By now, I had 140 Instagram followers, 100 twitter followers and 240 email subscribers and 30 alpha product users. Whilst the numbers are small, I knew that every single one of these people had some interest in the product. That’s why when I put the beta product for sale, I got 44 sales in a week. I sold 44 of something that didn’t exist yet. Why did I do that? Firstly, I wanted to test the price. It turns out, the price was just about on point. Secondly, I wanted to test if people would ACTUALLY buy the product. And because they did, they funded the second print run of the deck, which meant I could print it at a higher quality, and also spend money on the unboxing experience. The revenue from the pre-orders versus the expense of 44 decks (boxed and shipped!) meant the beta trial cost me £120. That’s pretty good value for learning! I also now have another 44 future advocates of the product (if it does what it promises).9. What’s next?Now I’m working on finalising the product before it’s delivered to my first paying customers. Learning is still the name of the game. I’m still honing how I market the product, who my core user is and what their needs are. The more I learn, the better I can make the product. My goal now is to have an interview with every beta purchaser and listen to them as intently as possible. To learn what their hesitations were, what value they got the most from the product, how they'd improve it, etc. The next move is to the leverage my growing email list, my personal contact list and create a kickstarter to hopefully send my product into the stratosphere of my niche industry. I'm at a crossroads now where Kickstarter seems like an obvious route, but it might not be necessary if I carry on with my current trajectory of building, measuring and learning.Thanks for reading!

[dy1kjxxa-blog]

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