#also the Killers don’t write Mormon music

[tenitchyfingers]

And let’s not forget the child brides and systematic child sexual abuse, CSA and rape! All attributed to the LDS in an astounding number of cases.

As for the “we contributed this and that”, well Nazi Germany invented helicopters, the Wolkswagen Beetle, Jägermeister, anechoic tiles, jerrycans, Fanta (yes the soda), the first practical tape recorder, night vision devices, and then fascism in Italy invented and popularized language dubs for movies and other media (at least in Italy, dubbing was wholly invented because Mussolini didn’t want Italians to watch stuff in other languages as dumbshit as that is)… does that mean Nazis and Italian fascists were good?

Does OJ Simpson being a good athlete mean we should forgive him for doing murder? Should we celebrate Chris Benoit for being a great wrestler and entertainer even though he killed his entire family? Should we glorify Bill Cosby in spite of him being a serial rapist? What about Polanski, Woody Allen, Weinstein?

And also, wanna know another reason people fucking hate you? Because of your goddamn proselytizing. Like man it would be one thing if y’all just stayed abusing each other in your own spaces and didn’t bother others, but literally you send your youth on “missions” to try and convert people. Like not only your cult is detrimental to people but y’all also got to go bother everyone else too??? Bruh shut the fuck uppppp

Every time I feel petty about people talking about how gross and awful Mormons are I want to give them a list of stuff they can't engage with anymore. No more TV, no Mr. Brightside, no hearing aids or certain other medical procedures, no more Doom, no traffic lights, nothing Don Bluth touched, and I could go on. Below is an article with just a fraction of inventions by Mormons. Sorry to break it to you all, but this "regressive cult" has actively contributed to your life for the better, no matter how much you want to pretend it hasn't.

https://www.ldsliving.com/14-things-you-didnt-know-a-latter-day-saint-invented/s/74878

[aaaaaa-musical-trash]

i thought it was time for a new intro post!

(UPDATE I MADE A CARRD IT IS VERY PRETTY https://thesquips0ng.carrd.co/#)

hi, i’m allie

very very multifandom

feel free to tag me in reblog games/include me in ask games! i love those

DISCLAIMER: if you send me asks related to fundraising, i will not be able to donate to your cause, regardless of what it is and i won’t put it on my blog unless you are vetted, as i can’t be sure of validity

i have two sideblogs, @musical-spam and @songs-summarised

personal tags i use:

art: #aaaaaart

writing: #wriiiiiting

fic recs: #allie’s fic recssssss

asks: #allie answers askssssss

book posting: #allie reaaaaaads

game posting: #allie plays gaaaaaames

non-fandom stuff: #allie is taaaaaalking

my interests change a lot but some things i’ll be eternally into are:

-musicals!

my musical obsessions are the fastest to come and go, but probably expect falsettos, be more chill, 35mm and a lot of others

along with the musical theatre obsession comes the mandatory 20+ hour playlist so here it is

-animated shows!

i love love love the owl house and dead end paranormal park!! also helluva boss and hazbin hotel, but more helluva than hazbin

-tv shows!

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES

that’s it

-other things!

a rotating cast of video games, i don’t post about them much though

trying to get into fiction podcasts probably expect a bit of that, but DEFINITELY the penumbra podcast i love that shit

an occasional enjoyer of webtoons

other other things i love are PJO, HOO and TOA, greek mythology, books in general, ancient history and geology

and i write sometimes! i’m gonna put the links to my fics here now

the violet hour roleswap AU:

the penumbra podcast roleswap au:

edit: oh oh oh i just remembered to do this

so if you’ve seen @sondheim-girly’s intro post you can see that they have a list of their musicals

well i also have that but i never showed you guys so now here it is! this is basically a list of musicals i may make posts about, i will forget to update it

(in order of when i finished it)

The Greatest Showman

Hamilton

Beetlejuice

Into the Woods

Six

Legally Blonde

Imaginary

Be More Chill

Mean Girls

Dear Evan Hansen

Les Miserables

Heathers

The Lightning Thief: The Musical

Ride The Cyclone

Hadestown

Falsettos

Some Like It Hot

Little Shop of Horrors

Come From Away

Avenue Q

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Something Rotten!

We Are The Tigers

The Prom

Spring Awakening

35MM: A Musical Exhibition

A New Brain

Moulin Rouge!

Newsies

The Violet Hour

Sweeney Todd

Company

The Last Five Years

A Killer Party

Carrie

Waitress

A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder

Merrily We Roll Along

Goosebumps

Book of Mormon

& Juliet

The Sound of Music

School of Rock

In The Light

Hedwig And The Angry Inch

The Great Gatsby

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

A Chorus Line

A Commercial Jingle For Regina Comet

Anything Goes

The Phantom of the Opera

In the Heights

Bare: A Pop Opera

Mamma Mia!

Spamalot

[let-me-be-your-comet]

There's been a lot of questionable behavior in the fanbase lately - I understand emotions are running high. But certain people, in my opinion, are losing sight of the cause and unintentionally damaging the cause.

The thing is, Tana probably knew Brandon was working on his own statement, which was LotF. And ALL she wanted to ask was...'hey, I'm not famous, but surely there's something I can do to help, what can I do?' And people completely ignored her own voice, her own power, as her own person, and immediately (and for a lot of them, exclusively) told her to talk to Brandon and make him say something instead. That's fucked up with a capital F. She has a hell of a lot on her plate as it is, she absolutely does not need us adding to it and I'm appalled that some people don't see the problem with that.

As for the situation in general, these are my thoughts...people were so quick to doubt, and I don't understand why. There was so much jumping to conclusions, assuming 'they're not gonna say anything, they must be against BLM!!', even though we have a decade+ of hard evidence they fall on the liberal side of the spectrum. Hell, Brandon is on record about abortion, of all things, as a very religious Mormon. So it really boggles my mind that so many people jumped straight to 'oh god they're racist, they're against Black Lives Matter' as opposed to 'Maybe they're taking their time, gathering their thoughts, gaining perspective'.

Obviously what they did takes time, and frankly they were very quick - I'd like to see one of the 'tHeY wErE tOo LaTe' people rewrite a song in under a week! Such a heartfelt, beautifully genuine statement they issued, in the format Brandon has always turned to when he really cares and doesn't want to fuck it up by talking.

The band provided a very clear statement with zero room for misinterpretation. Their positive stance on Black Lives Matter is crystal clear in that song, and still so many people - who claim to be on the same side as the band - are spewing hate at them and at anyone who dares to confront or argue with them, all while claiming to be against hate...Instagram in particular is very hostile right now.

It's unproductive, unhelpful, and frankly very damaging to the movement they claim to support - it discourages people who actually do agree with the message from speaking out, because people see that and they internalize this: not only are they going to have to deal with people on the other side attacking them (which is, of course, a given), now they have to be attacked by people ON THE SAME SIDE who say they didn't do enough, they didn't make a statement in precisely the same way they wanted? Nothing is ever enough!

It is okay to say 'hey, the song is great, and I appreciate what you've done, but I was hoping you guys would provide resources as well - here is a link to donate/learn more if anyone wants it!'

It blows my mind, however, that the majority of the comments were outright vitriolic. Those people were not providing constructive criticism. 'OPEN YOUR WALLET' is not a valid response. It's a very peculiar type of gatekeeping, to belittle and bully those on your own side of a cause (fans included).

Curiously, I went through all the comments on their FB post and their Insta post yesterday, and found exactly TWO comments from people who were against the BLM movement and we're angry that the band supported it. TWO. Out of over a thousand comments between the platforms, only two people were against the movement. All the 'god I'm so disappointed in you guys, what the fuck, this is pathetic, this is lip service', whatever the fuck they wanted to say...all of that came from people who were claiming to be on the same damn side as the band, and yet they're spitting venom at their peers for not advocating in a way that fits their apparently extremely narrow definition of activism. How does that benefit the cause? How does that move anything forward? How does that encourage others to speak out, how does that make them feel safe enough to do so?

It doesn't. People already know that by speaking up on potentially divisive issues they're going to face hostility from people on the other side of the fence...so why are people choosing to attack their friends, their allies, those who stand for the same values as they claim to represent?

We know the people in this band, we know where their hearts are. They're good people. They've spent years filling their music with empathy, with compassion. Brandon spent years tracking down people he'd hurt in the band's early years and apologizing to them (sometimes even in public), he has very open about his flaws as a person and his quest to grow and leave them behind, from being an outspoken stuck-up little shit to not being the husband he should have been in earlier TK days.

Brandon at least is on record about pretty much every issue under the sun including abortion...and yet so many people readily turned their backs on them simply because they took longer than a day to post a heartfelt, thoughtful statement.

Before they put out LotF 2, I 100% understood being disappointed - I was a little disappointed myself, but I had enough trust and faith in them as people, in their history, to believe that they would make a statement when they were ready. At no point, though, has this matter been worth the anger some people are flinging at it. That energy would be better spent writing politicians or protesting themselves, not harrassing the band (and their families- such a huge red line).

They took the time they needed and they produced a statement which is clear, moving, and very thoughtful. The song speaks for itself. We have no right to demand more and to insult Brandon and Ronnie and Tana - or any others who speak out on behalf of this cause or any other - for not doing as we may think they should, for not doing it "right".

The band has no obligation at all to make everything a public statement simply because they're celebrities - they choose to speak out, but they're also just regular people and they have a right to live their lives as regular people in any way they can. There is no single right way to show support for a cause. They don't have to tell us that they've donated. If they did, we'd just have people saying 'ok how much? It's not enough' or 'only $X?! That's pennies to you!' If they gave people a link to donate, that'd be attacked as well because 'what did you donate then? How much? Why should I donate if you won't say you did/if you only donated X amount and you're worth Y amount'...there is no way to win with some people. They have a right to donate in private or to contribute in other ways, which they have clearly done. They gave us a beautiful statement, their position is clear as day. They've taken a stand.

We know their hearts are in the right place - privately, as is their right as human fucking beings. It's so disappointing and so disgusting - some seriously were willing to just throw their whole history out the window, ready to skewer them. Absolutely unbelievable. This band is made up of decent people - they have shown so much empathy and compassion, desire to grow and be better as human beings, in what they say, how they act, the music they make - for YEARS and yet people were ready to go for their heads at the slightest opportunity...and still, they are spreading hate in the comments, attacking anyone who dares to confront or argue with them. I've never been so disappointed and disgusted by a fanbase before. I've had the misfortune to be around for blowups like this before, for other artists, but never one with this little justification.

There's really not very much that is "problematic" about The Killers these days, yet some people seem to have decided to actively try to find things to complain about, even if they support the same cause. It's baffling.

I'm all for acknowledging when there is something worth calling them out on, but to me...this is not one of those things. The most problematic, anger-inducing thing I can think of is not giving Sarah Junker photo passes (and let me tell you, I have a big problem with that!)

So I just...I really don't get it. Trying to tear down artists and their families, fellow fans...that is not the point of fandom to me. The point of being a fan, the joy in it, that comes from supporting the artist and being kind to the rest of the fanbase, which a lot of The Killers "fans" seem to be struggling with right now.

[kinglookingcatblog-blog]

Hello, World. Have some information about me.

Hello, World! My name is Danny, (sort of), and this is my very first post on this blog! I thought it would be fun to do my first post-about myself that is!

Here are 10 things I know about me:

 I am currently, when writing this, young. How young? Well I am a proud yet reluctant member of Generation Z. I was born in a month that would make me an Aries, if you’re into that. (Yes, I am a minor!)

As far as I can tell and as far as you know, I am a female.

I like to dye my hair. Currently, it’s a bit of a nasty red mixed with my dark brown roots. I plan on dying it purple this August, 2019.

I don’t identify with any religion, but if it I had to choose, I think I’d like to hit it Satanism style. LaVeyan Satanism explicitly, though, or in other words, Rationalistic Satanism. Love me some free will!

I am a big fan of music. I like all music except country, and I’m not too into rap but I can find something I like out of every genre. My taste shuffles around, but my last liked song on Spotify was Greek Tragedy by The Wombats, but my last played song was Here With Me by The Killers.

I love animals! I’ve had quite my fair share of cats, rabbits and dogs in the past, and even dabbled in exotics such as geckos, goats, ferrets and strange fish. In the future, I want to own an axolotl, a fox or two, some kind of bird(s) and some sugar gliders. Perhaps not at the same time though.

Right now, I am interested in psychology. Once I get over the soul-crushing debt I am going to have to go in, I think I will major in either Law, Law Enforcement, or Psychology. Even though it’s unrealistic for me to get a good job in this field, I would love to work with animals somehow, too. 

I like to play video games, but I’ll admit I’m not good at them. I will not be game-shamed for loving games like The Sims and Minecraft. First person shooters heavily bore me.

I love to read and write but I am awful at it. I’m literate, don’t get me wrong, I just never make the time to read my cool fantasy book or write my cool story. I’m starting this blog to also help me with my writing tendencies. By the way, my favorite book series is The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken.

I live in Utah! No I am not and never will be and never have been Mormon, (or as we must call it here, LDS), but my parents used to be. No, no one here has multiple mothers or wives. Well, some people have multiple mothers, but lesbian is not the same as polygamous. Although I do live in a house that a polygamous family lived in right before us. No, I don’t hate gay people. I’m actually bisexual. I have no idea what the green jello thing is about, so don’t ask? And yes the fry sauce is amazing. Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na.

[manchair]

50 Question Tag

Shoutout to @tuanamino for indulging my vanity and tagging me in fun things like this! I only know like two people on here, so if you laid eyes on this post consider yourself cursed to receive endless middle school chain mail texts until you fill one of these bad boys out yourselves #makesomeinternetfriends

1) What takes too much of your time?

MCAT studying 😪

2) What makes your day better?

Ice cream. Going out with friends. Got7 comebacks! 

3) What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?

I binge-watched the new season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina with my sisters

4) What fictional place would you want to go to?

Idris from Cassandra Clare’s Shadowhunter books

5) Are you good at giving advice?

I like to think so. I try to dish out a good balance of logic and humor but I know I don’t always take my own advice, don’t @ me.

6) Do you have any mental illnesses?

Lol you mean besides the constant awareness of how cataclysmic the human experience is? Jk I probably have anxiety but nothing clinically diagnosed.

7) Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Luckily, my body is only problematic when I’m awake. It sounds terrifying so I hope I never do!

8) What musician has inspired you the most?

Halsey. Her albums have depicted our similar emotional development arcs and I pretty much worship the ground she walks on. Mad respect for kpop groups like BTS and GOT7 though, seeing as they have to go through so much extra shit in the Korean entertainment industry to achieve their dreams and that’s also mega inspiring.

9) Have you ever fallen in love?

“My first love was some insignificant boy when it should have been myself.”

10) What’s your dream date?

This one’s tough. Either a whole day at SixFlags or a beach trip somewhere exotic, just the two of us.

11) What do others notice about you?

My hair is pretty damn long. I was visiting family in LA once and a girl asked if it was real and that’s the most LA thing that’s probably ever happened to me

12) What is an annoying habit of yours?

Procrastination. Even I get annoyed with myself!

13) Do you still talk with your first love?

God no. The dude’s hella Mormon so he got married at 20 and is now happily appropriating Hawaiian culture. #goodriddance

14) How many ex’s do you have?

I’ve had several flings but I’ve yet to commit to anything official. High standards and what not. Zero for now, but Park Jinyoung can feel free to change that any time!

15) How many songs are on your playlist?

I’m an?? ENFP Libra?? I can’t?? Just have?? one playlist??!

16) What instrument(s) can you play?

None. I much prefer air guitar and bad singing. I did play the clarinet in 6th grade band though. Maybe learning drums would suit my personality?

17) Who do you have the most pictures of?

Friends, family, and various kpop boy memes

18) Where would you like to go before you die?

The shorter list would be where I WOULDN’T want to go. But I’d go visit any space colony. The International Space Station. All of Asia. Canada lol

19) What’s your zodiac?

Libra sun, Sagittarius moon, Capricorn rising

20) Do you relate to it?

Lmao yeah I’m def a Libra 

21) What is happiness to you?

Self-actualization. Books. Music. Dancing. Snacks. Writing. Learning. Being at peace.

22) Are you going through anything right now?

Sure, but isn’t everyone?

23) What’s the worse decision you’ve ever made?

I try to own my terrible decisions but I sorta dated a demon named Bryce in high school so there is that

24) What’s your favorite store?

I’m a sucker for Uniqlo but they don’t have one in my state *cue sobbing*

25) What’s your opinion on abortion?

I think people can be both politically pro-choice and morally pro-life. I think every woman should have the ability to make that decision for themselves.

26) Do you have a bucket list?

Not in a physical form, but yes in my head

27) Do you have a favorite album?

Halsey’s Hopeless Fountain Kingdom, Black Panther The Album, Got7′s Present: You album was def a GIFT, Kris Wu’s Antares has been in heavy rotation lately as has Bad Bunny’s X100PRE

28) What do you want for your birthday?

A medical school acceptance? To meet the love of my life? A billion dollars so I can pay off my student debt and see the world and give the rest away to struggling people? Too much??

29) What are most people’s first impression of you?

Lol that I don’t like them. I blame the RBF

30) What age do you seem according to most people?

People always think I’m like 19 because I’m always joking around and I ain’t mad bc it’s my favorite number anyway

31) Where do you keep your phone while you sleep?

On my bedside table made out of books bc I’m an intellectual

32) What word do you say the most?

“Dude.” (I’m sorry, I’m from southern California, I can’t help it)

33) What’s the oldest age you would date?

Probably 29? That’s a hard limit bc your 30′s just seem like a whole other universe to me rn

34) What’s the youngest age you would date?

Yikes. 20, but I’m much better suited for someone older than me, sorry boys 😎

35) What job/career do most people say suits you?

Writer, interestingly enough.

36) What’s your favorite music genre?

Depends on my mood! Most days it’s rap, hip hop/R&B, Spanish trap, pop, and kpop, but I still have my classical and indie throwback moments

37) If you could live in any country in the world, where would you live?

Wherever I feel the most at home. I’ll probably end up staying in the US but I definitely want to try living in Hong Kong or South Korea for a while

38) What is your current favorite song?

Wow. by Post Malone lol #guiltypleasure

39) How long have your had this blog?

Years but idk for sure and now that’s going to bug me??

40) What are you excited for?

A sky rise apartment in downtown Chicago. A Got7 concert. Financial and emotional stability lmao

41) Are you a better Talker or Listener?

Depends on the topic of conversation! If I’m invested, talker. 

42) What is the last productive thing you did?

I sent emails to set up meetings 😕 #adulting

43) What do you want for Christmas?

Whatever I don’t get for my birthday...? 😬😂

44) What class do you get the best grades in?

I can write papers in my sleep. English hands down.

45) On a scale of 1-10, how do you feel right now?

7. I have this killer sunburn and a stomach bug rn

46) What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully practicing as a fully licensed physician who works out and has time for hobbies on the side and is not burned out *crosses fingers*

47) When did you get your first heart break?

The first time my mom said she wished she’d never had children. #yayoversharingtime #thiswholepostisprobablyoversharingohwell

48) At what age do you want to get married?

I’m recently questioning the very institution actually! I’d refuse anything younger than 25 because the average human brain isn’t even fully developed until then and no way am I following anyone to the altar before that happens

49) What career did you want as a child?

Professional dancer, specifically prima ballerina

50) What do you crave right now?

A tuna sandwich from Porto’s Bakery back home. New Got7 or Halsey music. The ocean. 

[afellowgoodsir]

The Strangers (2008) Explanation/Opinions

Okay so completely ignoring the sequel to this (The Strangers: Prey at Night) which was kinda trash tbh ((but that’s a conversation for another day)), this movie was amazing. This is my take on the movie, most of this is just my personal beliefs and obviously SPOILERS!!!

SO LISTEN

A lot of people think that the killers were being illogical throughout the whole movie, which at first glance is perfectly reasonable, on multiple occasions one of them will reveal themselves to Kristen or James and then allow them to get away without attempting to kill them. Well, let’s be perfectly clear here that their main goal was never just to kill the couple. More than anything, it’s incredibly apparent that the strangers wanted to scare them. They wanted to make them as terrified and desperate as they possibly could before they ultimately killed them. That’s why the strangers prolonged killing the couple for as long as they did. 

Another thing that comes up a lot is moments like in this scene:

At no point in this scene did Kristen ever see the masked man standing behind her, and it was clearly not his goal at that time for her to know that he was in the house. So....why bother going inside and watching her at all? Control. If not fear, the strangers were all about control. During the entire movie, Kristen and James’s lives were in their hands constantly,  whether they knew it or not. They always had the choice to kill them, or to let them live just a little bit longer. That’s a power that Kristen and James never had and never could have, no matter how much they wanted to. And the strangers knew that. They thrived on the idea that they could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, and there would be no one around to stop them. It was all about control over the situation.

But then, you may be wondering, if they liked control so much, then why take so many risks? Why remove their masks and show Kristen and James their faces, only to let Kristen live later on? Why create witnesses by stopping and talking with the Mormons? Simply put, the thrill of not being caught. Let’s face it, this was not the strangers first time doing this. They knew what they were doing, they knew that no matter how many risks they took, how many close calls there were, they wouldn’t get caught. Kristen, despite being alive at the end of the movie, was on a timer, and they knew it. It didn’t matter that the masked-man had left her there in the hallway alive, because he knew that there was no chance of her living to get to a hospital under any circumstances, let alone be able to describe the events of the night to police. Which is another form of control if you think about it, they had control over the fact that she’d live, even if it was just for a bit, they had control over the misplaced hope that she would get out of that situation alive and tell help to catch the people who murdered her lover. And the Mormons were just children. They were children who would only maybe be able to identify a few features of the random woman who’d asked them for a pamphlet, or the make and model of the truck she was in. They would be no more help to catching the strangers than Kristen would. 

Another thing people get confused about a lot is in the first scene featuring one of the strangers, where Doll face (the blonde one) knocks on the door not wearing her mask. She asks “Is Tamara here?” James tells her she has the wrong house, she asks if he’s sure, and then she leaves quickly. Later on when Kristen is home alone she knocks again asking “Is Tamara home?” I’ve heard several theories of people believing that she did this as a scare tactic. Unlike most of the things the strangers do in the movie, i don’t think that this was driven mainly by the intent to scare the couple. Instead, i think that she was simply seeing if anybody was home in the simplest way possible. This can be backed up by a line that she says near the end of the film: 

It was a bit confusing to me at first, why she bothered knocking twice, but now i think that it’s because James had left only a little bit earlier to go buy some more cigarettes for Kristen. It’s possible that they were unsure whether or not Kristen was still in the house, so Doll face knocked and asked about Tamara again, and when Kristen answered she once again asked “Are you sure?” and then could be heard running off. I do however believe that her asking if she was sure was more so to creep Kristen out, which she seemed successful in. It’s also possible that she was using this time as a distraction so that one of the other strangers could get inside the house while Kristen’s attention was diverted. 

Okay now that I've gotten past the ever so confusing ideology of the strangers, i’m going to talk about the brilliance in the directing. The director, Bryan Bertino, did an excellent job in conveying the idea that Kristen and James were completely isolated from the rest of the world. As James states at one point, “Since we've been here, I haven't heard a dog bark...or a car pass. Nothing. Just us and them.” On top of this, Bertino’s ability to use silence in his favor is outstanding. I think it’s pretty safe to say that everyone is tired of jump scares from music, right? The Strangers gave a nice break from this, instead deciding to focus on the eeriness of silence. In my opinion, he did it well. It allowed him to set up realistic, creepy, and horrifying scenarios revolving around the home invasion. Scenarios, that honestly aren’t far fetched at all.  

Please note that i am not a director or a film student, nor do i have any experience in film at all, these are just some random ass theories that i have about the movie lmao

Also i kinda want to write one about why the sequel is nothing like this and how the director kind of fucked up with his decisions in it but idk.. what do you guys think?

[upalldown]

The Killers - Imploding The Mirage

Sixth studio album from the Las Vegas pop-rock band produced by Shawn Everett and Foxygen's Jonathan Rado

7/13

To understand how far queer culture has come in public acceptance, look no further than the immaculately coiffed, straight, Las Vegas Mormon striving to live down every one of those adjectives. Since 2004’s Hot Fuss, Brandon Flowers of the Killers has chipped away at his weaknesses. From the ambisexual roundelay of “Somebody Told Me” and the way he stressed the rival “beautiful boy” in “When You Were Young,” to the cheeky interpolation of Bronski Beat’s epochal he’s-leaving-home anthem “Smalltown Boy” on his solo track “I Can Change,” Flowers has telegraphed a primal longing: Why didn’t God make him a gay musician? Instead, God made Flowers a singer-keyboardist who sets his larynx ablaze from the effort of caring. He writes songs for the young dreamers who hope to be rhinestone cowboys; he wants to see thousands of Brandon Flowers bloom. As tacky and bombastic as a Fourth of July celebration, Imploding the Mirage has more bangers than a Killers album should 16 years after their debut and without copping to “maturity.” This band remains as absurd—marvelously so—as ever.

How quarantine may enervate this most arena of rock bands we don’t know; for now, though, Imploding the Mirage, with key production and songwriting assists from Jonathan Rado, gives no indication Flowers has downsized his ambition to make the loudest, grandest rock album in an era that sees too few of them. The man who allowed the queer-ish dance act Pet Shop Boys to remix “Read My Mind” also adores early Bruce Springsteen: the riffs, the scale, the penchant for florid twaddle. But Flowers doesn’t write Springsteen songs, he writes concordances to Springsteen songs, set to pillowy synths and with drummer Ronnie Vannucci Jr.’s beats frisky enough for audiences aware of but not infatuated with dance music—like, say, Springsteen’s. Girls still excite him here—the ones who smoke cigarettes and “breathe in the blowback” and “fight back.” And the Killers are liberated, sort of. “I’m throwin’ caution,” Flowers wails on the first single, abbreviating “throwing” like an honor roll Springsteen student. Is that Can’s “Moonshake” in the nervous opening tap-tap of “Dying Breed”? Does he really sing, “What kind of words would cut through the clutter of the whirlwind of these days?” on “My Own Soul’s Warning”? Smile like you mean it, Brandon!

Applying the lessons learned about sustained ecstasy from previous producer Stuart Price, the Killers sequence Imploding the Mirage so that the circumference of each mushroom cloud of a song expands as the album goes on. “My God,” a prayer and exultation, corrals a choir and Weyes Blood doing their “All These Things That I’ve Done” thing while Flowers pushes his voice toward tones and stresses unheard by mortal man, all for the sake of the adage: “Don’t push/Control is overrated.” Then he loses control again on the next track, the glistening “When the Dreams Run Dry.”

In 2004, when the Killers released “Somebody Told Me” and especially “Mr. Brightside,” the embrace of their wobbly, lurid Technicolor psychodramas coincided with the post-Napster generation’s discovery of a version of the 1980s their older siblings shunned. Flowers may even own a stack of CD-Rs on which songs with gated drums and synth strings compete with a singer determined to outsing and out-hair them both: bands like, who knows, Survivor. In other words, Flowers likes the tacky ’80s; he remains a Las Vegas boy born with eyes sharpened by neon. But here’s the difference: Rather than record treacly updates of “The Search Is Over,” his mission is to find the Neil Tennant in Survivor, as much a quixotic mission as a genuine what-the-fuck moment: a cishet performer who queers anonymous Wembley Stadium tubthumping with bizarre word combinations. After a few listens to the new album, I couldn’t tell you what “imploding the mirage” means. Whether Flowers knows himself is worth debating. The brio is the point.

Sixteen years after Hot Fuss, the Killers benefit from a gradual acceptance of gender fluidity, sheer grinding persistence, and, thanks to COVID, an aversion to male hair trimmings that results in an Icehouse-era generosity. No one quite sounds like them in 2020. No one will sound like them in 2031. They remain inscrutable and delirious, trying for big, cool with small. As he puts it on the title track, “Sometimes it takes a little courage and doubt/To push your boundaries out beyond your imaginings.” Get comfortable aging alongside Flowers as his Talmudic wisdom deepens.

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/the-killers-imploding-the-mirage/

[onfuryroad]

All. The. Questions. :'D

I have a theory of who this is but I won’t say antyhing. Also sorry, literally just got this notification!

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Well, we did almost go home with the same guy a few times in Ireland so I suppose2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Lolololol why would I do that? 3. Have you taken someones virginity? Three and I was a Mormon’s first kiss4. Is trust a big issue for you? Hahahahahahaha yes. Thanks Dad ✌🏼5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Nope :( 6. What are you excited for? This weekend! Going out for a friend’s 21st and it’s gonna be hella messy 7. What happened tonight? I have a meeting that I don’t wanna go to by I do get free food out of it8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? ??? no??? I am that girl? I don’t like this question 9. Is confidence cute? Yes. 10. What is the last beverage you had? Water11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 412. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Duh13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Go out 14. What are you going to spend money on next? Food or alcohol 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? It was some rando at the club so no 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I change a lot 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? @marlowandsage, @boardwalk-absurdist, some other good friends18. The last time you felt broken? Been feeling broken since 2004 my friend ✌🏼19. Have you had sex today? Nooooooooo ughhhhhhhh20. Are you starting to realize anything? Been realizing that my suitemates and I are more different when we go out than I realized21. Are you in a good mood? Not in a bad one so yes?22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Sure why not23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? I don’t know his eye color24. What do you want right this second? A text from this bumble dude or for that fact to not be true25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I refuse to admit I have a crush so this doesn’t count26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? I dye it blonde but that’s more because of build up of grossness and I was told to. It was pink for a bit 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Oh hell no28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? I miss the companionship more than anyone30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? I don’t really believe in second chances31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? I don’t have the energy to hate anyone32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? I don’t have a crush33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I like POP when I can afford it34. Listening to? Nothing35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Occasionally for math 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? I don’t even know his name37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but that doesn’t mean they are the right person. I’ve seen people and known that they were going to be important to me38. Who did you last call? My mom39. Who was the last person you danced with? Some creepy old dude tried to grind up on me. 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? He’d been making eyes at me at the club for so long and the dude I had just made out with wasn’t a good kisser41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Move in weekend! We got fancy cupcakes for all our friends42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Nope43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Probably 44. Do you tan in the nude? I don’t tan45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? He really wasn’t that cute so maybe46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? I texted with a lot of people at night 47. Who was the last person to call you? My mom48. Do you sing in the shower? Sometimes49. Do you dance in the car? YES50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Every year at girl scout camp51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? um... senior photos? 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? No!53. Is Christmas stressful? Nope54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yup and can make them 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? I don’t like fruit pies56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Olympic swimmer57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah, and met quite a few. 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? A lot59. Take a vitamin daily? Nope60. Wear slippers? Yes61. Wear a bath robe? Yuppp. #dormlife62. What do you wear to bed? Nothing :P or a tshirt and undies63. First concert? Paid: Mumford and Sons64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target65. Nike or Adidas? I don’t care66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Neither68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I used to loooove Love Story69. Ever take dance lessons? At the community center70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Government work or a professor 71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes72. Ever won a spelling bee? hahahahahahahahahaha I can’t spell73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes74. What is your favorite book? Les Miserables75. Do you study better with or without music? Better with like film scores or something to make noise in the background 76. Regularly burn incense? Nah77. Ever been in love? indeed78. Who would you like to see in concert? The Killers79. What was the last concert you saw? Plain White Ts80. Hot tea or cold tea? Iced81. Tea or coffee? Coffee82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip83. Can you swim well? Very well84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes? 85. Are you patient? Not really86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ87. Ever won a contest? None that I can think of 88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope89. Which are better black or green olives? Sometimes my dinner is a can of black olives90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Well, I’ve had it several times soooooo91. Best room for a fireplace? All of them 92. Do you want to get married Yup

[theragamuffininitiative]

Christian Films and Misc Rambling Thoughts on the Subject that Might or Might Not be Actually Connected

@cogentranting​ At some point, years from now, when all else is turned to dust and the sun has set for the last time, a post for this reply, stating I will reply in a longer fashion later (which would actually be now) shall appear. I will likely delete it out of pure spite. Stupid mobile app uploads.

I haven’t seen God’s Not Dead. Or God’s Not Dead 2. I should. Not because I just want to, or because It Is The Inspired Word Of Our Lord™ (hahahah it’s not guys, ok), but because of my overall interest an involvement in the world of film. I should be informed.

Also, I appreciate the sarcasm. XD I hope that was sarcasm or now I look really stupid but you’re going to get an earful either way, so it works out.

So let’s get to it:

I hate the Christian Film Industry™

Whew. There. I said it. Pray for my salvation.

Why? So, soooo many reasons.

1. The Sacrifice of Art in the Name of ‘Message.’

I, for one, want to know why the Christian church is constantly smashing down on the creative outputs of their members for not being enough about God, or published by Thomas Nelson, or advocated by Willie Roberts. Why. We would rather squelch the heartfelt, beautiful, God-given art produced by our brothers and sisters for not showing a clear Conversion Experience rather than be amazed at the ability God has allowed us to have to make such fantastic, whimsical, thought-provoking, emotionally-resonant things.

This is point number one because it. is. my. biggest. issue.

“Message films are rarely exciting. So by their very nature, most Christian films aren’t going to be very good because they have to fall within certain message-based parameters. And because the Christian audience is so glad to get a “safe, redeeming, faith-based message,” even at the expense of great art, they don’t demand higher artistic standards.” ~ Dallas Jenkins, movie reviewer and director of The Resurrection of Gavin Stone??? (Imma have to check back with you later on this, but the quote still stands on its own.)

“We have the makings of a movement that can change this culture. I honestly believe this. But I also believe the first step toward establishing the groundwork for a vibrant, relevant cultural movement based on scriptural thought is to stop producing “Christian films” or “Christian music” or “Christian art” and simply have Christ-followers who create great Art.” ~ Scott Nehring, in his book You Are What You See: Watching Movies Through a Christian Lens.

“If we are trying to evangelize, the fact that most Christian-themed movies are torn to shreds by non-Christian critics becomes an issue. If, however, we just really want to see our fantasies validated on screen, then we will write-off these poor reviews as “persecution.”” ~ Andrew Barber, in his article “The Problem with Christian Films.”

On a similar note, I want to know what the Mormon church is doing that the Christian church is not. Every time I turn around, I discover that another of my favorite artists, whether it be in film or elsewhere, is a professing Mormon:

musicians Imagine Dragons, the Killers, and Lindsey Stirling

authors Brandon Sanderson, Shannon Hale, Heather Dixon, and Brandon Mull

animator Don Bluth

actress Amy Adams and actor Will Swenson (both formerly)

etc, the list goes on

Hi, my Mormon friends. What is your secret. What ways of encouraging art and artists do you employ that my Baptist upbringing, and the Conservative Christian community in general, is so sorely lacking in?

2. The Christian Culture’s Subsequent Villainization of Hollywood.

This past Christmas, my sister gifted me a book titled Behind the Screen, “Hollywood Insiders on Faith, Film, and Culture.”

I sat down after all the gift-giving was done and read the first three sections before the holiday meal was served. But let me quote from the introduction which had me “Amen!”-ing and punching my fist to the sky every third word:

“We obsess about “the culture” endlessly; we analyze and criticize. But we can’t figure out anything to do but point an accusatory finger at Hollywood... Blaming Hollywood for our cultural woes has become a habit... Casting Hollywood as the enemy has only pushed Hollywood farther away. And the farther Hollywood is from us, the less influence we have on our culture. We’ve left the business of defining human experience via the mass media to people with a secular worldview.... In pushing away secular Hollywood, haven’t we turned our backs on the very people Christ called us to minister to - the searching and the desperate, those without the gospel’s saving grace and truth?”

Btw, if this subject is something you are interested in, I highly recommend this book. Written by creatives and executives in the film world (including one of the writers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the producer of Home Improvement, and even the multi-credited Ralph Winters, among others), it’s a frank, beautiful, and challenging read for artists, Christians, and film buffs.

The point here is that the church culture says if it doesn’t come from Sherwood, or have Kirk Cameron or Ducky Dynasty in it, or have a conversion sequence, it isn’t Christian and therefore Christians should not view or encourage it in any way. This. Is. Crap. Pardon my French.

Beauty can come from imperfection.  Even unregenerate hearts still bear the image of the Divine and are capable of producing so much worthwhile and significant art. Which leads to...

3. Guess What? Secular Film Companies Make Quality Faith Films Too??!

Idk what I should even say here, but I’m just going to go with the one shining example I always think of: Dreamworks’ Prince of Egypt. It is purely a work of art from any standard, and that is the epitome of what Christians should be looking for in their endeavors to create good film. PoE is gorgeously animated, seamlessly directed, well-scripted, morally driven, more Biblically and historically accurate than you would believe (and where it falls down on direct representation, it remains true to theme and character), etc. etc. etc.

I could go on for ages about how much I adore this film. (Joseph, King of Dreams, is also noteworthy, but nearly up to par with the craftsmanship of its predecessor.

I mean

just look at

the art

4. I Do Like Some Films Made By ‘Christian’ Companies

Idk, I might step on people’s toes or surprise you by which of these I actually approve of, but here we go:

I like Fireproof. I have many issues with it, but overall it is a fairly well-made, Hallmark-style emotional flick. The acting leaves much to be desired, but it’s a decent bit of showmanship, story, and truth.

I do not like Facing the Giants. Give me Blind Side any day of the week, except don’t because... sports.

However, both Courageous (some actual real life dialogue and not a completely happily ever after, whaaaat???! Oh, but token conversion experience, of course), and the early-and-forgotten Flywheel (which, although low in camera quality and acting, is actually an enjoyable story), come in as films I would sit down and watch at least a second time.

Risen is well-made and acted and has some establishment of genuine Craft. However, as far as story plots go, a lot was sacrificed. The mountain-top encounter with Christ was, while perhaps the most generally cliche piece of story, to me the most heartfelt and provocative. After that...the film kind of ended in mediocrity. Like...what did the characters do after the credits rolled.

I actually really enjoy Mom’s Night Out. The manic theme almost kills me, but the quiet and the reveal at the end is worth sitting through to see.

And I appreciate Luther. I don’t watch it often, because I personally can’t stomach the more violent aspects (the reason I haven’t/don’t watch The Passion or End of the Spear.) But Luther is a great biographical film, and I would encourage anyone studying Catholic and/or Protestant history, especially Martin Luther, to watch it. This is a Film in both art, message, and class.

Tbh, I’ve been avoiding most of the other Christian films, which is why I won’t talk about them there.

5. You Don’t Have To Slap A Jesus Fish Bumper Sticker On It To Be Christ-Honoring

Walden Media is a prime example, I believe, of what Christians in the film industry should be doing. I mean, they’re not perfect at all, but they are not sacrificing art for message - or vice versa for that matter. While not strictly a Christian Film group, Walden is founded and run by a majority of Christian Conservatives who are actively seeking to make quality and wholesome films for people of all diversities. They’ve had a few flops and several more that just didn’t quite live up to their potential, but they also brought us

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, as well as

Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, and the one I will never stop talking about:

Amazing Grace.

Well-crafted films, put out by *gasp* an assortment of believers and non-believers. Art. Good films. Not Messages dressed up in makeup with a classy Instagram filter and a 30-day challange booklet to get your revival outfit on.

In looking through this stuff, I just found this article, which is a superb read and really gets at the heart of what I feel, and am very badly trying to communicate:

Why Faith-Based Films Hurt Religion

So.

When Christian Films start being an actual representation of creative community and the artistic talents God has given to us as personal and spiritual gifts, rather than a cheap way to try to force morality on Hollywood and on our neighbors without ever leaving the confines of our Bible Boxes in case we might get soiled, I may start appreciating the Christian Film Industry™. Until then??? I’ll stand behind my fellow creatives and my fellow believers and hope and work for the best.

Lastly, two things:

Christians Can Enjoy Secular Film Productions.

I would even argue that they should. We were created by a Creator God, who takes pride and joy in making beautiful things, in making each of us. And we are made in His image. We are creators as well, we make art all the time. Scripture tells us to worship God in everything we do. The movement of making “Christian Films for Christian Audiences because of Christian Reasons” is missing the point entirely. We as creatives are not here to make God Art, we are here to make art that glorifies God

Christ Does Not Need Hollywood. However, Hollywood Does Need Christ.

“While many missionaries travel to remote villages in Africa or South America to spread Christianity, [Karen] Covell believes her calling—her mission field, if you will—is right here in Los Angeles, in an industry that many of her fellow Christians find immoral or even downright sinful, both for its on-screen depictions of sex and drugs and the real-life sex, drugs, and other temptations that exist behind the scenes. Covell, who was a film producer in the early 1980s, says "the church did not get how I could justify being a Christian in Hollywood, and Hollywood did not get how I would follow God. It was a divide." It was nearly impossible to meet other Christians working in the industry, let alone ones who would express their faith openly. "I said, 'The church hates Hollywood, Hollywood hates the church. There's got to be some way to bridge that divide.'" - in an article by Jennifer Swan.

As I said in my original little “about me” tag response, I have felt called to ministry in this world. Whether it be film or live theater, that world is calling to me, both in its creative endeavors, and in its desperate need for the hope, truth, life, and light of Christ. Actors and directors in Hollywood and on Broadway are in as much need of the grace of our Lord as the starving orphans in the unreached people groups on the other side of the planet - same as your next door neighbor.

If Christians continue to tie themselves down, and group themselves together, cutting themselves off from the culture and the culture off from them, then we are doing absolutely no heavenly or earthly good to anyone.

So, you see, it’s not just the artistry (or, so often, lack thereof) in the Christian Film Industry™ that gets to me.

It’s the fact that the film media culture is a people group that the church as a whole is ignoring. We are ignoring the impact Hollywood has on the world around us and still trying to be relevant to that world, which is counter-productive and just plain silly.

It’s the fact that I see actors, actresses, producers, writers, who are obviously searching for the Something that will fill the void in their souls, and their primary exposure to Christianity and Christ - the only One who can satisfy them - is the Christian Film Industry™, which is largely full of broad and meaningless substance because heaven help us we should talk about something real, and then just plain bad art.

I believe God has called us to higher things than this.

Higher art, loving to create as he lovingly created us.

High impact, going deeper into the issues of our culture and our nature to address and satisfy problems and needs felt be every human, not just the church-goers who will show up for Sherwood’s next big thing.

So, yes, my pet peeve cracked from its proverbial nutshell:

I have issues with the Christian Film Industry

[nathanscovell]

Friday the 13th in October! You couldn’t ask for a better month for such an evil day. That’s why we’re sharpening our machetes and kissing our mothers severed head so long as we review the Friday the 13th series! Hold on to your nuts because we’re breaking down a crap load of horror films for one single day. Man I’m so excited to watch every Friday the 13th film over again. I haven’t done this since I was a teenager! It’s going to be EPIC! Jason is so cool. Slicing and dicing his way through all these people! Jason is the most recognizable villain of all time and his movies are the longest running horror series so how can it be bad? Look at all these movie posters!

JUST LOOK IT THEM ALL!

Take it from Michael Bay, if you have something good (or just marketable to stupid children) then you just make it over and over and over and over again. No matter how many times people cry ‘stop!’

Oh yea, be mindful of the progression of plot changes for each movie. After I awoke in the hospital after watching all of them. I finally remembered what they’re all about. It took a while, but it all came back to me. Let me tell you something, the Friday the 13th films have some serious drug users writing their scripts.

Friday the 13th – 1980

In the peaceful campgrounds of Camp Crystal Lake, young counselors are preparing for a long summer. Little do they know that terror lurks within the woods, seeking the right opportunity to slaughter and punish those seen guilty!

Killer is Pamela Voorhees, not Jason Voorhees.

Friday The 13th Part 2 – 1981

Five years after the slaughter of Camp Crystal Lake, a neighboring camp is prepping for the summer.  With the bloody events and the memory of Mrs. Voorhees just fire side chats; it seems that this summer will be one to remember.

Jason appears wearing a burlap sack instead of a hockey mask. Does not use the machete.

Friday the 13th Part 3 – 1982

A day after the events of part 2, Jason Voorhees escapes and is wondering Crystal Lake, killing and surviving. Jason soon comes along a group of friends staying in a vacation home named Higgins Haven. This will be one vacation of blood splattering 3D slaughter!

The iconic image of the machete wielding hockey mask Jason finally appears. Also, more creative and brutal deaths. Not centered at a summer camp.

Friday The 13th – The Final Chapter – 1984

It’s summer and the all girls camp, Camp Walden is underway! Which means fun, excitement and personal discovery. But for our young red head girl Annie; this summer will be more than she bargained for. Forced to spend the rest of the summer with another girl named Jason Voorhees the two who were once enemies discover a friendship far greater than just friends. Annie and Jason are sisters! Twin sister to be precise. Discovering of their parents divorce; it’s now the mission of these two ladies to bring their love torn parents back together! Join us with spectacular fun and a rip roaring Disney grandpa humping good time with Friday the 13th Part 4!

Friday The 13th – A New Beginning – 1985

Convicted for a murder he did not commit, Jason Voorhees will remain the rest of his days as a prisoner in Shawshank prison. His only friend, an Asian African American Jewish Rabbi woman named Pedro. Pedro is Jasons one source of power to fuse the the alternate dinosaur dimension and our very own together. But first he has to get rid of those pesky plumbers! But before that they must kill the chosen one that would bring balance to the force! Once more the sith will rule the galaxy and Jason Voorhees will become the next Captain of the SS Enterprise. With the use of a magical asteroid stone, Jason will gather all his strength and resources to correct the wrongs of society and bring justice once more to the people of Eternia. I HAVE THE POWER!! Rated PG-13.

Friday the 13th – Jason Lives – 1986

Jason Voorhees must carry the ring of power to mount Sinai and battle a crazed Charlton Heston with a sword made of Nerf! With the help of his handicapped brother Lloyd Christmas; Jason will sacrifice everything in order to help keep his altimeters stricken wife happy. It seems reading from a personal journal to her every day really doesn’t mean anything when the bitch can’t remember jack! Join in the action and adventure as Jason embarks on a ride across a barren wasteland to bring a group of hot teens freedom from their over possessive Mormon dictator husband Immortan Joe. Rated PG-13.

Friday the 13th  – The New Blood – 1988

A girl named Tina that happens to be a witch, helps break out her little brother Jason Voorhees from a mental institution. Tina discovers that Jason is a Nintendo prodigy and they go to California for Jason to compete in a NES championship for a new awesome NES game titled Friday The 13th! Headed across the country Tina and Jason embark on many adventures and bond! Maybe even healing with the help of each other. Join us for this family friendly romp! Rated R for sexual content.

Friday the 13th – Jason Takes Manhattan – 1989

Jason Voorhees and his team of muppets have just graduated from college. Armed with enthusiasm and hope, the team decides to take their musical Manhattan Melodies straight to Broadway. Our friends are going to be stars! But being a hit on Broadway isn’t as easy as one would think. Lots of sexual frustration and static electricity. Things are a giant mess! Especially for a machete toting killer, frog, pig, bear and whatever Gonzo is. Join us on this family friendly musical! Rated PG.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday – 1993

Jason Voorhees has finally died due to a police unit hellbent on ending his reign of terror. Ahh, poor Jason. But guess what Jason is going to heaven where his son has turned into a black guy and things look and feel like a painting. But wait, Jason’s wife isn’t there and she died years ago. Oh no, we didn’t mention that suicides go to hell (not really hell, just a place you exist for eternity that reflects the feelings of your soul). Jason must travel back to the physical realm and find a body to control in order to free his wife. Join us on this spiritual journey of self reflection. Rated PG-13.



Are we done? Y-y-y-y-you mean there aren’t anymore?

WOM-WOM-WOOOM, WOM-WOM WOM WOM WOOOOM.

WHAT!? Two more films? There’s really two more Jason films? Oh please no! Tell me it’s not true!

WOM WOM WOOOOM, WOM WOM.

Wait, what’s that? I don’t have to watch them? You mean the 2009 one and that Freddy Vs Jason films don’t count! Oh thank God. Thank you so much mam.

WOM-WOM.

I love you too Charlie Brown teacher.

WOM WOM WOM!!!

I don’t mean love as in, “hey teacher let’s bang” I mean like a motherly kind of way.

WOOOOM.

Ok, so things got a little cloudy there for a while. I don’t know where my head was. I kept slipping in and out of consciousness and I had this weird Charlie Brown universe dream going on. I don’t think I can ever do another Friday the 13th marathon anymore.

So as you might have guessed after part 3, the series started taking a dive in quality. The stories were always the same and with very little plots. I guess the main purpose of the films was to show people dying in brutal ways. However, I will say that being a fan of Cabin in The Woods does put Friday the 13th into a new perspective. The stories are all the same but it’s all a part of a great ritual that keeps the old evil gods dormant. Jason is just fulfilling the duty man!

I actually do like the first and second films. The POV camera got a little annoying after the first few kills. But the third one seemed to get rid of it. I also find it interesting how Jason Voorhees isn’t even in the first film. The killer is his mother and she’s seeking sweet justice. Jason finally comes in part 2 and he’s wearing a burlap sack over his head.

By the fourth film, The Final Chapter; things just seemed to get boring. Unless you consider Crispin Glover dancing to be awesome.

From what I heard, he was actually dancing to an ACDC song “Back in Black.” Which gives reason to his insane moves. But to be honest, I played that song at the same time he was dancing and he still looks ridiculous. I will admit that Glovers death is hilarious.

Part 5 is more a psychological movie. Jason isn’t even in the film. Turns out the killer was a father of a Jason victim. He just took the mantle of killing these teens that he blamed for his kids death. It’s literally a recycling of the first film. It may have tried to take a fresh approach but it was boring to watch. Plus John Shepherd who plays the grown up Tommy is the worst actor I have seen in any Friday film.

You see that face, that’s his face the entire movie. He’s like a male version of Milla Jovovich from the crappy Resident Evil movies. Yea, she sucks in those and the movies are all garbage! She has an expression of a broken toilet!

Seriously, I don’t really have to say much about the other films because they’re all the same. Jason Takes Manhattan is a laugh fest of stupidity. Am I to believe that Jason awakens from the depths of Camp Crystal Lake, boards a cruise ship. Which then sinks in the New York Harbor!? WHO IN GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAME UP WITH THAT!!

I will say that Jason Goes To Hell is actually not all too bad. It kind of abandons the fornicating drugged up teens and gives the entire premise to Jason a more supernatural and solid ground. There’s actually a story involved that has structure and purpose. There were actual parts to this film that seemed less “slasher” and more monster.

It seems that this demon living in the body of Jason is what keeps him alive. But without the body this demon has to live within a host. Its not until it’s met with the blood of a Voorhees that Jason’s original state can be brought back.  It’s actually a point A to point B kind of story. Yea, it still sucks but at least it’s something!

So on this Friday the 13th, let us all appreciate Jason Voorhees. Let us all watch the first three films. If you’re brave like me, go ahead and watch every movie and then jab a pen in your temple like I did.

Day 13 for HMM we're getting honest with Friday the 13th! Friday the 13th in October! You couldn't ask for a better month for such an evil day.