#also that one slug was very annoying

[crazynerdandproud]

I just rewatched Epic and yeah it was great. First time I’ve seen it literally since it came out. I could go on for hours about the different relationships and Ronin and Tara especially and yeah I love this movie.

[inf3ct3dd]

HARD WORK.

summary: your grandmas retirement to hawaii finally let you escape the annoying city life. but as it turns out, being a country girl aint easy work. luckily a hot stranger with a truck full of rakes and hoes has taken a liking to you.

gardener abby x black!oc

warnings: I AM A FREAK FOR GARDENER ABBY. little bit of creepy perv behavior, stalking, SEX

wc: 4.6k

authors note: heyyy guys miss u 😈 if anyone gaf i’ll post a part 2 cuz yk how i be… ts long as hell

abby noticed your presence about a week after you had moved.

she had recognized the yellow house, a familiar sight when she went on her drives to clear her head. it was certainly a sight for sore eyes. it was one of only three houses on the block, recognizable by the pale paint and the burnt orange front porch. she often wondered how the owners maintained it, as it was full of plants and trees. a big front yard with wildflowers, a cherry tree by the garage, and flower pots galore. its gorgeous. she also dreamed of what was behind the big door to the backyard, but she could see the faint sight of green trees from the top of it. its a beautiful house, no doubt. and the foliage was always kept perfect. bushes trimmed, lawn mowed, and the trees left the perfect shade for the summer time. she’d love to work there, but it seemed that the owners had it under control.

until you moved in.

after a while, she noticed the lawn becoming slightly overgrown, the bushes losing their shape, and the tree was dropping cherries all over the adorable pink slug bug in the driveway. she had taken that the original owners had moved out, but she had no idea who had replaced them. and clearly, that replacement had no idea how to tend to that house.

and then, she finally caught sight of you.

it was around about 3:30, if she remembered correctly. give or take five minutes. she was on her usual drive, exhausted and irritated from having to tell a woman that her grass would take at least a month to grow back from its butchered state. a bad raccoon problem left the entire yard torn, holes and dead yellow grass everywhere. but she had that off her mind now. she turned on her car stereo, old dad rock silencing her thoughts as she drove. the road you have to take to drive by the house is basically inside the forest. big, green trees on each side, a bumpy gravel road, and big hills. it was always a smooth ride, and the cool breeze from her window was a relief after sweating for 5 hours straight. she always hung her left arm out of the window, so much so that its slightly tanner than the other.

when she finally got to the house, she forgot everything she was thinking about. she even forgot where she was for a moment, making her stop the car.

she finally caught gaze of .. you. bent over the grass, seemingly trying to weed the garden. all she could see of you was your ass, and she wasn’t exactly complaining about the view. the denim shorts you were wearing left absolutely nothing to the imagination. along with the booty shorts, (the name very fitting), you had on a green spaghetti strap that clung to you like a wet suit. you had clearly been out there for a while, sweat pooling on the shirt and a drop sliding down the obvious cleavage in your shirt. she tried so hard to pull away, to leave you alone and not be a creep, but she couldn’t. it was like everything was moving in slow motion as she was eyeing you, and she slowly made her way up to your face after staring at your tits for an inappropriate amount of time. you had thick, black curls, that were pulled up haphazardly into a high ponytail. probably to get it out of your way while you worked. its clear you take advantage of how remote your house is, sitting in the yard looking like that. its unsafe, what if a weird freak comes over and stares at you from his truck?

abby quickly realized that she was the weird freak in question. even with the headphones in your ears, you noticed the presence behind you. you felt the rumbling of the truck through the ground, given the fact you were barefoot. you turned around to look at her, moving a curl out of your eyes and behind your ear. you raised a brow at the truck, confused. you couldn’t make out the person inside, with your glasses resting on the porch. you squinted and saw a rough image of some..blond person? you stared for a while longer, almost considering walking up to them . what’re they looking at? were you that bad at gardening?

abby was frozen the second you turned around. she definitely stared longer than she should have, not even noticing that you were staring as well. you had a confused look on your face as you squinted over at her. it was almost as if you couldn’t see her. when she thought the two of you made eye contact, she instantly started driving away. she tried to pull away slowly, to not be suspicious, but she zoomed down the road like a derby horse.

fuck. did she see me?

almost as soon as you saw the car, it drove away. they must’ve noticed you caught them and got embarrassed. who is that? you had seen a blob that sort of looked like blonde hair, but not much else. it was hard to discern anything from that, so you focused on what you did see. you felt like you had seen the car before, but then again, so many people have black pickup trucks around here. and its not like it had any significant details you’d remember it by, it was just a plain truck. not even a funny bumper sticker or something! its like the exact opposite of your car, the back of your beetle is covered in cute stickers, and you even got heart shaped rims. their car was different. it was so…rugged. whoever it is probably does some sort of hard job, like construction or something.

you shrugged off the whole thing, getting a bit too sweaty for your liking and heading inside. you wondered to yourself if they’d stop by again, maybe you should keep an eye on your window!

while you were pondering over who the mysterious figure in the truck was, the figure herself was freaking out. she couldn’t stop imagining you on that lawn, seeing your confused face and glossy pout as you stared at her. did you even realize someone was looking at you? did you feel weird and scared now? was that the absolute most pervy thing she could’ve done?? and most importantly, would you notice if she did it again? she shook the thought as soon as it came. she was practically berating herself, mumbling “don’t be weird” under her breath. she tried to think about other things. the smell of the trees lining the road. the tree in your front yard. fuck, this is difficult.

eventually, she settled on thinking about your yard. she tried not to focus on the image of you bent over in front of it, and her behind you, and she slowly remembered something. you could not garden for shit. you had missed a bunch of huge strips mowing, the bushes were lopsided, and you were knee deep in weeds. it was obvious you had no idea what you were doing, and she knew it would be so easy to fix it.

“looks like you need some help.” she uttered from behind you on the front yard, and you turned around, puzzled.

“you think so?” you stared up at her, doe eyes nearly punching her in the chest. you were still sweaty, in the same tank top.

“yeah, you look hot. let me cool you off.” and with that, she grabbed at the bottom of the shirt. “can i”-

“abby. cut it out.” she pulled herself out of the daydream, realizing she had stopped her car once again. thankfully, the road was completely empty, so she kept driving. there wasn’t anything worth staring at over here, so she kept it pushing. freak.

she tried to push whatever happened earlier to the back of her mind all day. but its like she got hypnotized. she drove up to her house, and she stupidly expected to see you in her front yard. she went inside, and she wondered what the inside of your house looked like. does she have carpet? what color are her walls?

she quickly shut down the thought of “walls” as an…untasteful image appeared in her head. she took a shower, a near freezing one, and she imagined what type of showers you like. or if you were even a shower person, maybe you liked baths. you’d probably shriek if you stepped into the shower and it was the wrong temperature. she imagined you sitting on the edge of the tub, letting the water run over your fingers until it was justtt right. she imagined you sitting down in the tub, and - nothing. she didn’t imagine anything else.

she cooked herself some pasta for dinner, and sat down on her couch to eat. do you like spaghetti? she started thinking about that scene in the lady and the tramp, except you and her replaced the dogs. once again, she shut that down right after she started. she ate her food and threw her dishes in the sink, almost running to her bedroom. because she was tired. no other reason.

you had gotten a call from your grandma a little while after you went inside. you didn’t necessarily want to talk to anyone right now, but you owed it to her after she basically gave her house to you for free. she talked for what felt like forever, about her new house, the beach, everything. and after a million “really”s and “oh wow”s, she asked you to show her the house.

you showed her around the inside first, panning around the living room, kitchen, and all the rooms, she was very satisfied with how clean you kept the house. its easy to take care of when its just you making the messes, and not an aggravating messy roomate. you felt like a lonely housewife who’s husband left for war.

afterwards, you went out into the backyard. her smiling face turned into a confused grimace within seconds.

“honey, who did the lawn?” she asked, so much concern in her voice you’d assume she just walked in on a crime scene.

“i did! doesn’t it look good?” you chimed, confused on why she sounds like you’ve just killed a man.

“…no. it looks like a hot mess. you missed like, three spots! and lord, what did you do to my bushes?” she let out a loud sigh.

“…i trimmed them?” your pride was wiped off your face, a small frown replacing it.

“i don’t even wanna see the front. you know what, you need to find a gardener. someone. as long as its not you. ill pay for it myself, just…don’t touch anything.”

“at least my plants aren’t dead and the grass is still green.” she mumbled under her breath, hanging up the phone.

where the hell are you gonna find a gardener?

with your spirits crushed, you sat with your computer and your glasses resting on your nose, “how to fix a messed up lawn” reflecting on the glass. r/lawncare said to leave it and let it re-grow before mowing it again, evenly. wait at least a week or two and keep watering it. but don’t touch it.

so, you decided to listen. the gardener hunt could wait till later, you were sleepy. you ended up dozing off on the couch watching chopped, and you had forgotten all about it by the morning.

abby however, can’t forget anything.

after a long, sleepless night, abby was running out of things to distract herself. why was she going borderline insane over some random girl? she’s seen hot girls before. were you a witch or something?

she went through her day with the same irritating questions going through her head. what does she listen to when she drives? what does she order at the coffee shop? whats her name?

she realized by the time she was on her lunch break she needed to answer at least one of her questions. she already knew where you lived, whats the harm in knowing your name?

she had slightly known your grandma, only the fact that they owned the farm that was down the road from the house. and that it was named after their last name. small town advantage, am i right?

after googling the last name, a facebook profile showed up. presumably exactly who she thought it was. she scrolled through pictures of her at the beach, on family vacation, unfunny memes,and a post that made her chuckle for a whole minute.

she knew she was in the right place now.

after scrolling for a while longer, she found exactly what she was looking for: a picture of you and the woman, your arm slung around her shoulder. you looked like you were at a wedding, all dolled up in a green satin dress with your hair down. you were wearing glasses, too.

“so she probably didn’t see me.”

you looked just as gorgeous as yesterday, and the picture was captioned “my beautiful granddaughter r ♥️💐😘🥰” and there was many more of her old lady friends and relatives calling you gorgeous. didn’t she know it.

she typed the name , your name, into facebook yet again, and there you were. the profile picture was of you as a baby, little black curls pulled into two pigtails as you grabbed at the camera with a cheesy smile. albeit, you only had two teeth, but it was definitely a smile. you’ve just always been cute, huh?

she looked down at the bio, and found everything else she needed to know. whos idea was it to make people give facebook all their personal information?

it was obvious this account was just for family, as it was mostly just reposts of your relatives posts and pictures she would deem “family friendly.” but the pictures were mostly of things other than you, like cats and pretty buildings you saw. it gave off the perfect, innocent impression to anyone who’d come across it.

but after finding your facebook, it didn’t take her much longer to find your instagram. and your tiktok. and your tumblr from when you were in highschool? maybe she was digging a little too deep.

your instagram wasn’t that stark of a contrast to your facebook. add a little more cleavage, and a much more active..social life, and it was basically the same. you hadn’t posted much with your friends in a while though, only stills of your plane and you relaxing in your new home. tough time making friends over here?

she snooped even more into your following, and at first there wasn’t anything really interesting. some music artists you liked, random cat accounts, and baking accounts. cute. but, after a while, she recognized something. the name of the place you worked at that she saw on your facebook. a veterinary office. the profile mostly had pictures of cats and dogs and some smaller animals, but when she saw a post about the offices pet fundraiser, she immediately recognized your face. cheesy smile, holding up a small kitten to your cheek. it was adorable.

she looked up the address in the account’s bio, and she saw that it was a 5 minute drive from her house. perfect coincidence. alice would love to take a walk after work today, wouldn’t she?

her snooping was interrupted by the alarm she had set for the end of her break. startled, she slightly jumped out of her seat before swinging her door open and plopping her phone in her back pocket. she knew what her plans for this afternoon were.

while abby was scheming up her stalkerish plans, you were just.. bored. you sat at the front desk, doodling one of the dogs you saw come in earlier with one earbud in your ear, fleetwood mac giving you soft background music to the emptiness of the lobby. with it being tuesday and all, it wasn’t very busy. your shift didn’t end for a few hours though, and you would rather be bored than busy.

you decided to people watch outside the window for a bit. you saw an old lady walking around with another old lady, holding coffee cups from the cafe down the street. they were engrossed in conversation, and you tried to lip read, but could only make up a few nonsensical words before they disappeared out of your view. a man walked by with his disgruntled teen daughter, headphones pulled over her ears with an annoyed grimace. once again, it looked like the father was saying something, but you had no idea what.

after a few more people walked past, you saw someone who actually…caught your eye. it was a tall blonde woman, hair weaved neatly into a braid that rested on her right shoulder. she had on a black tshirt that showed of her toned arms, and grey cargo pants with green grass stains on them. you tried to glance at her face, but she was facing the side. all you could really see was the outline of her curved nose, and the soft shape of her lips. her side profile looked perfectly carved, like a statue. she had on black over the ear headphones too, and she was holding a leash to a big german shepherd. shes hot, and she has a dog? you subconsciously started fixing your hair, just in case she was walking in here. she stopped near the door, and you nearly pounced to greet her. but your excitement was cut short when you saw her walk slightly further, and pull out a small stack of papers and a roll of tape. was she putting up fliers?

you watched her place one on the light post outside your building, holding the tape in her mouth as she did so. you tried hard not to drool all over your desk as you watched her. you couldnt make out what the paper said as she walked away, and you wasted no time going outside to see what it was.

and when you finally approached it, you felt as god himself was giving you an offering. the flier read "abby anderson gardening services.” there was a small graphic of a pretty flower, and an even more captivating image of the woman who had put up the flier. abby, that’s a sweet name.

you quickly ripped off one of the small pieces of paper on the bottom of the flier, placing it in your sweater pocket before skipping back into your work gleefully. a hot girl who was gonna save you from your gardening dilemma? somebody pinch you.

abby hadn’t had the smallest confidence her plan had worked. her heart was practically beating out of her chest, and the questions kept on pouring in. did she even see? will she even notice? what if she did see, and she recognized me as the freak who was ogling her outside her house? she planned all this perfectly. she spent 3 hours last night making those stupid fliers. scrolling through a million different fonts, searching through her camera roll for good pictures, she needed it to be as believable as possible. she had parked her truck well out of view a few blocks away, carried extra fliers, and brought alice with her to try and hide her true intentions. normal gardener walking her dog and putting up fliers, thats all she was. definitely not a weirdo that saw a girl pruning her front yard and got so hot and bothered that she devised a whole plan that would maybe get her to call her.

she shook her head, practically trying to shake away her thoughts, and she kept on walking.

you were telling yourself that you’d call her right when you got off work.

and after sitting on your bed for 5 minutes staring at her number typed into your phone, it was tomorrow.

and then tomorrow, it was the day after that.

the fear made absolutely no sense to you. you’re calling a gardener! whats the worst shes gonna say? ‘oh no, im not gardening for you because you’re stupid and also im going to run you over with my lawn mower.’ its her job to do this!! you had even saved her number in your phone as “hot gardener” so you wouldn’t forget her.

you were silently hoping that youd see her around somewhere. she’d approach you, start some dumb conversation, suddenly bring up the fact that shes a gardener, and then you get your “really? i’ve been looking for one!” moment. perfect meet cute.

but its like she vanished into thin air.

every time you went to work, or even out shopping, you were dolled up for no reason. wearing shirts with extra cleavage, making sure you have on lipgloss constantly, you were not taking any chances. even when you were doing the most mundane activities, you swiped on a layer of mascara before you left the house. just in case. but your luck wasn’t striking you at all. does she not live in the neighborhood?

abby definitely lived in the neighborhood. after checking her flier and seeing a missing phone number, she spent the whole night waiting for her phone to ring. she did anything and everything to try and keep her busy, which included cleaning her entire apartment and stalking your instagram. you had posted a picture of your cat on your story. cute.

after almost 5 hours of waiting around, she was pacing around her living room like a tiger in captivity. every notification she got she pounced at her phone, but she was continuously disappointed. no manny, i don’t want to go out tonight. dont ever text my phone again and also i hate you.

it was around 12:45 when her phone finally rang. she picked up instantly, barely letting it ring. she cleared her throat and tried to feign nonchalance in her voice. but instead of your sweet voice asking about her lawn, it was a telemarketer. she threw her phone on the couch and collapsed on her floor. it was gonna be a long night..

the next day, she knew she needed to check on you. what if something had happened? or, worse, what if you weren’t even the one who took the phone number? she came back the same way she did the first time she saw you, driving a liiiittle too slow past the vet office. and low and behold, you were perfectly fine. sat at the front desk talking to some girl with a cat. and when she looked at the flier, there was still only one slip missing. maybe you forgot?

she drove away, a childish pout on her face. it was pathetic , really.

when she was at the grocery store on the second day of waiting , that she definitely didn’t drive an extra five minutes to because it was close to you, she nearly had a heart attack when she saw you in the cereal aisle. cute hoodie and shorts on with your hair down. you seemed like you were having a hard time deciding between two cereals, holding the boxes next to each other and squinting. she imagined herself going up to you and delivering some smooth one liner about cereal that she was still trying to come up with, and carrying your groceries and you to your car. but as much as she wanted to, she kept her distance. heavily. she was looking around every five minutes like a shoplifter so she wouldn’t bump into you.

but not touching didn’t mean she couldn’t look. she saw you finally chuck the fruity pebbles into your basket, squeeze half the mangos on the display before picking one, and you last minute deciding to buy a pack of gum when you were checking out. she tried her hardest to not be jealous of the scrawny bag boy you smiled at, and when she finally saw you check out, she remembered she was supposed to be getting stuff for dinner. shit.

and the day after that, when she stopped at the gas station by your street because it was ‘cheaper’, she recognized your beetle in two seconds. she watched you step into the little mini market, clad in a pair of jean shorts and a random t shirt from a theme park , and she watched you walk out with a bag of hot cheetos as she pumped her gas. she had gotten a closer look at your bumper stickers, and she saw a small heart with a sunset flag. she couldn’t help but do a little fist pump when she got in her car.

none of her research was giving her any clarity though. she kept driving past her flier, day after day, and not a single other person had picked up a slip. was it even you who took it? are you gonna hire some other stupid gardener you found on your phone?

and on the third day, she had stayed home. she was beginning to give up hope you’d ever call, and she would never make a move first. especially if you had accidentally seen her on one of her little ventures. so, she cleaned her house again. she even dusted, thats how bored she was. the thoughts of you were constantly plaguing her. she almost took up mannys offer to go out tonight, try and get her mind off things.

but her mind stayed in the exact same place. her mind replayed the memory of you in the lawn yet again. she remembered the sweat dripping down your chest, the way your shorts were riding right up your thighs. she shoved her hand down her pants and imagined that they were yours.

she remembered how nice and smooth your voice sounded on the videos she saw. even though you never said much, even her imagining it made her even wetter. she kept rubbing her middle finger up and down her clit, picturing you whispering in her ear.

“you’re such a fucking creep. you keep watching me at work, following me around, and now you’re fucking yourself to me? we’ve never even met. you’re acting like a desperate slut for some random girl, you’re not embarrassed?”

the dialogue she was imagining in her head was getting her further and further. she almost imagined you saying it, the voice being strange and inconsistent to her. still, she moved faster, hearing the noise her slick covered fingers made as she moved. she kept letting out heavy breaths, flexing her hips upwards onto her hand.

“you know, you could’ve just come up to talk to me. how pathetic are you? can’t even talk to a girl?”

she imagined your breath on her neck, watching her. if she focused enough, she could feel the indent in her bed of you next to her. she started moving even faster, letting out loud moans as she pressed down on her clit even harder. she arched her back as she did, pushing her head against her headboard. she could feel the pressure building in her lower stomach, and she was practically humping her hand. she got sweatier and sweatier, the blanket covering her lower half not making it any better.

“are you really this desperate? you could-“

abbys fantasy was interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing next to her. right when she was close. fuck. she nearly abandoned the phone call, but then the thought crossed her hazy mind. what if it was you?

so she wiped her hands on her boxers , took a deep breath, and answered her phone.

she tried not to get her hopes up, worried it might be another telemarketer. annoyed at the fact that she gave up cumming for some random person.

“hello? is this..-abby?”

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38

Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.

IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?

I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?

oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.

It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.

Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.

Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.

.......what's that rock about.

Oh, I see. That's convenient.

This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.

So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?

He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ

To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.

Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'

Laios is so stressed he broke character.

Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.

It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.

...hey, hold on a second.

Now hold on a minute.

Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.

But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.

And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.

Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! （︶^︶）

Thoughts:

Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"

That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.

Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.

Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.

Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.

Aww, doggo.

Last question: Where did the cat go?

Senshi: I can fix that.

Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!

Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.

F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........

My man, maybe lead with that............

I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......

"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.

p.....pubby......

As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.

The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.

On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?

......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.

Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.

Anyway. What a great manga.

[phoward89]

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2:

White hot pain courses throughout your body as you lay on your stomach, on your small bed in the corner of the room. The room that was your bedroom, kitchen, and living room all in one cramped spot. Sitting on the bed next to you was Coryo.

He was washing your wounds, causing you to wince; let out sobs and whimpers since he wasn't very gentle.

“Stop whining, I'm almost done, darling.” Coryo told you with an edge to his baritone.

“It hurts, Coryo.” You cried, feeling like you just wanted to die- that's how much pain you're in.

And it seems that the asshole next to you, the peacekeeper responsible for your situation, isn't very empathetic despite claiming that he's your man now. Oh hell…how did this happen to you? Is your luck really that shitty?

“My friend, Sejanus, has some morphling for a bum knee. I'll find him; get some for you.” He told you, cleaning the last of your wounds. “Okay, pretty girl?”

“Okay.” You said, relieved that your tormenter (err new peacekeeper boyfriend?) was going to get you something for the pain.

“I'll get you some food too.” Coryo said while pulling your blanket on you, so that you wouldn't be cold. “Can't have my girl starving while she's hurt and healing, can I?” He rhetorically asked, standing up and taking the bowl with the bloody water and stained wash cloth over to the sink.

You heard the sound of the bowl clanking against the counter as he set it down. You also heard the sound of cabinets opening and closing as he looked for something in your sorry excuse for a kitchen. Curious about what he was doing, you turned your head only to see him taking your box of teabags out of the cabinet you stored them in. Oh, how nice of him. He's making you tea after he got you whipped; got your back torn to bloody shreds.

Oh yes, a cup of tea’s going to make everything all better. You'd rather have the morphling. You'd also rather be alone right now to wallow in your misery as well.

After leaving a cup of tea by your bedside and telling you to rest, Coriolanus left your apartment to go buy some groceries. After buying a bag of food, enough to feed the both of you for the week, he searched for Sejanus. Coriolanus was only seeking out the annoying district dog because you needed morphling; Sejanus was his only option to get it for you.

Well, that's not exactly true. Coriolanus can always acquire some from the local black market, but it'd cost him a fortune. Plus, he's not even sure that a morphling dealer would even sell to him considering he's wearing denim blue Peacekeeper fatigues. And he couldn't waste his time trying to haggle with some drug dealer, not when you're in desperate need of pain meds.

Oh, if only you didn't steal that apple; then Coriolanus would've never turned you in and you wouldn't be hurt. Why did you have to be so desperate? Couldn't you have just waited for him to approach you, to offer to buy you a treat of some sort?

Coriolanus knew that he'd have to teach you some patience. It is, after all, a very important virtue to have. He, in fact, is a very patient man. Perhaps that's why he was able to put up with all of your sobbing while cleaning up your bloody; shredded back. If he was a lesser man, he would've backhanded you and tossed you into the shower.

But, he's a patient man, so he'll deal with your bullshit in order to get what he wants. Oh, yea, and what he wants is you. You getting his dick wet more precisely. And also being the mother of his children, his wife, and his future First Lady since he finds you to be both beautiful and captivating.

He just has to teach you patience and maybe some manners too. At least you’re smart, or he thinks you are since you didn't try to run from him or beg your way out of your punishment.

So, when Coriolanus finally spots Sejanus (talking to some shady looking locals, of course) he jogs up to him- causing the sack of groceries slug over his shoulder to jostle around. “Sejanus, I need some of your morphling. My girl, Y/N, was whipped real bad this morning; I've been taking care of her since, but she's in pain- tear inducing pain.”

Of course, Coriolanus wasn't going to tell his friend that he's the one who turned you in; the one who got you whipped. Why would he? It wasn't any of Sejanus' business. He didn't need to know that tiny, insignificant detail. The district born dog didn't need to know everything about you and Coryo's life.

Sejanus' eyes went wide at his friend's words. He heard from a local rebel contact that a girl was stripped naked and badly whipped on the snow over an allegation of a stolen apple, one that she didn't have on her. But he didn't know that it was Coryo's girl that got whipped that morning.

“I heard about that, but I didn't know she was your girl, Coryo. Of course, I'll give you my morphling for her.” Sejanus told Coriolanus, sticking his hand in his pocket and quickly pulling out a bottle of morphling. Handing it over to the platinum blonde, he said, “If she needs anymore, just take it out of my lockbox.”

Yes! Score!

Coriolanus was ecstatic that he was able to manipulate stupid, sweet, do-gooder Sejanus into giving him some morphling. He wasn't expecting him to tell Coryo to wipe him out of his drug supply, but he's not going to turn that down.

No…

He's going to make good on that offer, snag up all of Sejanus' morphling so that you won't be in pain while you heal. You're just so pretty; Coriolanus hates the idea of you being in so much pain. And over something that could've been easily avoided too.

“Thank you, Sej. Really, I don't know what we'd do without your help.” Coryo told the dark haired peacekeeper, clasping him on the shoulder before taking off to get back to you.

You were half asleep (actually, you were half passed out from pain) whenever you heard the door creek open. Turning your head towards the door, you saw Coryo enter the small one-room apartment in the rundown tenant building you call home. A sack was slung over his shoulder.

Going over to the kitchen counter and setting down the sack, he announced, “I got us some groceries; got you the morphling from Sejanus too.”

Us? Since when does he live with you? Doesn't he live on base? Oh fucking hell…

As if he could hear your mental musings, he explained, “I'm trading days with some of my squad, taking their days off and then working for them, so I can spend some time here with you until you can get up; do for yourself.”, while unpacking the sack of groceries.

Great…

Just great…

Now he's dead set on staying with you, taking care of you til you're able to move around, and he's trading work days to do it. Oh by the gods, how the hell did this insane man find you? He's acting as if you're his lover, not some girl he turned in for punishment- for whipping.

Hell…

Why did you listen to Ashlie? You should've stayed home, in District 12. At least you wouldn't be dealing with delusional Private Coryo if you’d stayed in 12. God, you hate District 8 so much right now.

“Did you drink your tea?” Coryo asked, as if he really gave a fuck about your well-being, while grabbing some produce and putting them away in your small fridge.

“Some of it.” You answered right as a knock sounded at the door.

“You expecting anyone?” The platinum blonde demon of a man asked while going over to the door.

“No.” You simply told him, earning you a nod.

Coriolanus answered the door, only to be met with a petite young woman. “Are you here to see my girl, Y/N?” He asked the brunette, who was trying to look around his large frame and into the apartment.

“Your girl? She didn't mention taking up with a peacekeeper last time I saw her.” You heard Ashlie, your late brother's girlfriend that abandoned you after dragging you out here to this hellhole called 8, tell Coryo.

“Yes, well, it’s a fairly new development. But she's mine all the same.” Coryo told Ashlie in a diplomatic tone, a shit eating grin on his face.

He has power over you and like hell some ratty whore was going to poke and prod him about his relationship with you. It was none of her business that he just scooped you up today, literally.

“Send her away, Coryo.” You loudly ordered, since with didn't want to be bothered with Ashlie. Didn't she have better things to do, like live her new life with that rebel boyfriend of hers, then to check in on you? Not like she's been going out of her way to see you before you got hurt.

Looking between you and the door, Coryo simply nodded and, without warning, slammed the door shut in Ashlie's face. She tried to open it back up, but he threw his tall body against it- slamming it shut again and quickly locked the lock and placed the door chain in place.

Crossing the room, making a beeline towards your bed, Coriolanus asked, “Who was she, Y/N?”

“She used to be my brother's girl til he got blown up to bits during the summer when our rebel neighbor bombed the mines.” You explained to him as he pulled out a vial of morphling from his pocket.

Crouching down next to you, he popped the cork of the vial and tilted your chin up, only to pour the pain medicine down your throat. “Mines? But 8 doesn't have any mines.”

“Thank you.” You gratefully told Coryo as he set the empty vial to the side, next to your half empty teacup. “I'm originally from 12; just applied for a district transfer cause Ashlie couldn't handle her grief over Rein's death. She begged me to come here with her when word got out that a plague decreased their workforce; made district transfers available.” You explained, even tho you probably shouldn't be. He is a peacekeeper after all. And the one to get you whipped. But what harm is there in telling him your story? It's not like you have anyone anyways, you're an orphan- truly alone.

“I take it you're not on good terms with her.” Coryo said knowingly.

You're at the mercy of a delusional white-blonde peacekeeper. Thanks to Ashlie taking off. And any hope there was at repairing the sisterly friendship you once had flew out the window once you go whipped and became the the girl of some peacekeeper grunt- who's a hand short of a full deck.

“Not long after moving here she hooked up with some guy she met; left me all alone. So, yea, we're not on good terms.”

“I'm sorry she did that to you, darling. Family should never abandon family.” The blonde told you, lifting up your blanket to check on your wounds. “I'm here now, baby. You're my girl; I'll never let you be alone again.’ He promised, pressing a kiss to an unblemished part of your shoulder.

You didn't know what was worse. Being alone or being stuck with him. And something deep in your gut tells you that you'll never get rid of him. That he's worse than a tick on a bloodhound.

“Some of these lashes are deep. I can see some muscle and bone.” Coryo informed you. Well, that would explain why your back hurts like a bitch. At least the morphling he got you’s taking the edge off.

“You'll have to stitch me up, Coryo, or else I could get an infection and die.” You honestly told the peacekeeper, since the last thing you wanted was to get gangrene or sepsis. You really didn't want to get stuck going to the rundown public district hospital. You didn't have money for that, plus you heard some horror stories from coworkers at the peacekeeper uniform plant about the hospital.

No thank you, you'll take your chances at home with the devil.

“Don't talk like that, my darling. I'm not going to let you die; I'm going to take care of you.” Coryo said, petting your hair and pressing a soft kiss on your cheek before leaving your side to go find your sewing kit in order to stitch you up.

Tags: @kuroosbby001 @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord @erikasurfer @tulips2715 @universal-s1ut @thesmutconnoisseur @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @swiftieblyth @joyfulyouthlover @harvey-malfoy @tian-monique @chxrrybomb22 @marvel-hiddles-stark @twinkletwinklenotastar @xjinnix @devils-blackrose @shellybellysstuff @zombicupcake3

[lokabrenna-writes]

Soukoku headcannons because they have taken over my life

(Remember how I said I don’t write romance? Guess there’s a first time of everything •v•)

Port Mafia

Dazai fell first and harder

They have matching rings they got from the arcade and wore them all the time until they eventually broke. The rings were bound to break eventually considering how many battles they had been through, but they didn’t break during a battle. The duo were arguing about who knows what for the millionth time and the rings just snapped. They looked down at the pieces of plastic that had hit the floor in silence for a few minutes. (“If Chuuya wanted a divorce he could’ve just said so.” “Shut up and go win us new ones.”)

They both have specific items they steal from each other whenever they’re going to be separated for some time (separate missions, hospital stays, etc.). Chuuya will steal Dazai’s black hoodie that has what looks like lightning strike decals on the sides of the sleeves. Dazai will steal Chuuya’s white blanket that has what is supposed to be a slug and a mackerel messily stitched in one of the corners from when Chuuya was first learning how to embroider. They always make sure to return it without the other noticing when they get back from wherever they were so the item will smell like the other when it’s time for the duo to be separated again. Of course, both know the other takes said items, but neither say anything.

They paint each other’s nails every now and then. Black is they’re default color but they’ve also tried various nude/pink shades, blues, reds, and some glitters.

They’ve both attempted eyeliner (liquid and pencil) and failed. Both ended up with the liner all over their eyelids, but that didn’t stop either of them from laughing at the other.

They were each other’s first kiss. It was 2 in the morning and they were watching a movie. Since they can never agree on what to watch, they have a bowl with random numbers in it and whichever number is pulled is what they type in on the tv. Tonight some romance movie had been selected. Neither were particularly interested but they watched anyways (mainly to see whose movie plot prediction was right). Chuuya was growing sleepy towards the end. Sleep never came easy to Dazai so he let his mind wonder why the kiss scene at the end was always made out to be this grand moment. He turned to Chuuya who had laid his head to rest on his shoulder. He tucked his finger under Chuuya’s chin to tilt his head up and connected their lips. It was quick, not nearly as drawn out as the one playing on the screen. Yes, they both liked dramatics but it’s important to not over do it. They both hummed as they broke apart. It was pleasant, but it was not firework worthy as the movies had made it seem. Chuuya rested his head again, this time in the crook of Dazai’s neck rather than the edge of his shoulder before saying “Next time put some chapstick on. Get the strawberry one.”

Dazai finds children to be annoying, but he doesn’t exactly like or dislike them. Chuuya adores children and finds them to be endearing. To Dazai, there is very little in this world that can make him laugh as children falling. He's not necessarily laughing because the child may or may not be hurt, but more so at the face they make when they're processing what happened and then start crying. Chuuya yells at him despite this explanation.

The first and last time they said "I love you" was the night Dazai left. Before placing the bomb under Chuuya's car, Dazai had used his spare key to enter Chuuya's apartment to take his car keys. An extra precaution to ensure Chuuya wasn't caught in the explosion. He was supposed to be in and out, but he couldn't resist checking on Chuuya one last time. He peeked into the bedroom to find Chuuya already fast asleep. He walked over and watched him for a bit, knowing it would be a long time before he would be able to do so again in peace. He reached in his pocket and applied the strawberry chapstick to his lips before leaning down to connect their lips. Chuuya stirred at the contact and even though he cracked his eyes open, it was clear his mind was still very much asleep. Dazai pulled back after a few seconds and placed the chapstick along with his spare apartment key on Chuuya's bedside table. He briefly debated on leave a note before deciding he had already been in the apartment for too long. The last thing he wanted was to make it seem like Chuuya knew of his departure beforehand. "I love you," Dazai said in a quiet voice. It took more in him to actually get the words out then he cares to admit. "I love you so much. Forgive me for what I'm about to do, especially to your car, but this is for the best." These words came out more broken then he intended, but he hopes he got his point across. "I love you too," Chuuya mumbled out, eyes shut and snuggling deeper into his pillow. Dazai would come to cherish the moment the second he stepped out of the apartment. Chuuya does not remember it, but believed those three words to have been merely apart of his dream.

[sabrinathepolytheist]

In Defense of Aphrodite! - A Devotional Work!

Hello all, this is a thing I wrote a while back, but now that I have a blog, I figured I would share it! I get so annoyed by people giving Aphrodite flak and dishonoring her by the words they say. While I understand that most of these individuals are not pagans, or even Hellenist for that matter, I still think it is disrespectful. For those of you who are not Hellenist out there or worshipers of Aphrodite, please understand that she is a goddess, and that there are people who do honor and respect her. So, if you are a non-pagan and you put yourself in the shoes of an Aphrodite worshiper for a moment, you would see why we are annoyed, and quite frankly why we are angry about the recent trends spreading about our goddess on TikTok.

In Defense of Aphrodite:

What this post will cover:

What she is not!

How she shows love!

How she shows beauty!

She extends herself far beyond just love and beauty!

She is a mother figure!

She is not a monster!

What she is not!

People, pagans included seem to shun Aphrodite. They mock her and belittle her. They assume that because in myth she is portrayed as jealous, sadistic, and uptight, that it must be relative to her true nature. However, this is not, and never was the case. Aphrodite is not a monster; she doesn't "curse women who are compared to her in beauty". She definitely doesn't "take away your beauty if you ignore her". She is totally not the "whore" that modern media has reduced her to. She most certainly is not an advocate for the lesser-known toxic femininity that people often cast her with, otherwise known as a diva. She is SO much more than what people see!

How she shows love!

If you would just get to know her, and begin to be one within her bliss, she will show you her truly loving, caring, compassionate, patient, and unconditional nature. This is when you begin to love her as she loves you. When you get to know Aphrodite you see that there is more to life than just slugging through pay-check after pay-check, that there is more to life than what the media will advertise to you, that life itself is beautiful. Life is her gift to us, and thus we should cherish this gift. She animates our soul, and fills us with wonder, and amazement to explore the world, and to explore life with curiosity. Life is such a special and sacred thing. She cried for Adonis when he perished, but this is not just her sadness for the death of her mortal lover, this is the sadness that she feels when each and every one of us dies! That is how much she truly loves us! She cherishes every waking second she gets with us before it's our time to go. She is love incarnate!

How she shows beauty!

Aphrodite can teach us one major thing about beauty, that is, that it is subjective. Beauty is, and always has been in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is not the caked-up face that society has forced upon most women, true beauty comes naturally. You are already SO beautiful and you don't even know it. Beauty is not reserved for celebrities, or models. Beauty is not the stereotypical body standard that plagues society these days. Beauty is for all! Men, and women alike can rejoice, and appreciate the beauty in themselves, and in our world! There is beauty in us, in the rustling of the trees on a windy day, within the hearts of the ducks swimming gracefully upon the pond, within the eyes of any living creature. Aphrodite is beauty incarnate! If you just look for her, she is everywhere!

She extends herself far beyond just love and beauty!

Aphrodite is the goddess of all love and beauty, but she is SO much more than that. She is also the goddess of pleasure, passion, romance, and desire - none of which are inherently sexual in nature but can very well be sexual in nature if one wishes. she is the goddess of the self; self-love, self-care, self-adoration, self-confidence, even self-discipline - the list goes on. She is the goddess of the heart and is a heart healer. You can vent your sorrows to her, and she will listen, and she will guide you to healing. She will speak to you, be it in your subconscious, or in your heart itself, she will heal your sorrows and your pain.

She is a mother figure!

Aphrodite is a mother too, and if you are one who has a not-so-great mortal mother, Aphrodite will take you into her arms, and openly accept you as her own child - though you are not her blood born child, and most certainly are not a demi-god - she will still take you as her own, especially those who lacked the parental love they needed in childhood. She loves her children very much and will do anything in her power to protect them. If Eros is anything to look at in myth, she doesn't let him get away with Psyche so easily, and I feel that as a mother, she was just trying to better understand Psyche before letting Eros pursue her fully. She wouldn't want anyone to hurt Eros. She gives this same loving motherly protection to all her children. She loves us so very much!

She is not a monster!

As we can see, Aphrodite is not a monster, she is not the vile goddess myth portrays her as. She is lovely in nature to say the very least about her character. She loves all, and wants us to realize that beauty is subjective, and that everyone holds their own beauty inside and out. I pray that Aphrodite blesses and protects each and every person who reads this! <3

[priintiisor]

slug designs :]

they re very simple but. they re silly

other little notes:

- hunter only has one usable hand because when you re playing their campaign (if you re not throwing either the pearl or the neuron away) you can technically only use one of your hands cuz you have to carry something the entire time, and that is very annoying, and i think it s silly to put it in the design

- i belive in small artificer. big fluffy artificer is also good but i like her just being small and very angry

- spearmaster s face is round because they are baby

- also spearmaster having 4 fingers on one hand is because i drew them like that once by accident and decided it s my headcanon now

- ruffles has no thoughts

- saint is also small, because small fluffy cat that can and will kill you :]

[nastasya--filippovna]

WHO IS CROWLEY AFTER THE FALL?

so there is a LOT of debate over who Crowley was before The Fall. I have seen a lot of headcanons going around the place saying he was Raphael or Kokabiel or Baraqiel.

I mean this is the Exhibit A for saying that Crowley is Baraqiel. I think NOT.

Because this is a handbook written by demons for demons. The title is literally (if my memory serves me right) a guide to angelic beings that walk the earth. SO Crowley is not That..

Other than the red hair thing, no other physical characteristic matches. This Baraqiel guy sounds like an absolute gremlin. grisly slug, occasionally damp. NOT CROWLEY. I mean she's the most dashing thing around.

NO. #3 It says CROWLEY one line above the name Baraqiel. If Crowley is Baraqiel then why would his demon name appear right under that?????

And I think somewhere Neil Gaiman refuted this theory (I'm not really sure but I think so plz don't come at me with pitchforks if I got it wrong). So.......

But this is all beside the point. What I'm trying to say is that too much has been said about who Crowley was before he fell. There is very little, if not none, that has been said about who he was After.

Some say that he's an insignificant demon or some loser guy in Hell or whatever the equivalent of an angel principality deputy on Earth is.

I BEG TO DIFFER.

He is Important. Just look at the kind of assignments he's given. Original Sin, Major Historical Temptations and Evil Acts, Delivering the Antichrist and bringing about Armageddidn't.

But who is he exactly??????????

So canonically we're never told what Crowley's rank in Hell is. But there are more that enough hints for us to figure that out for ourselves.

But where does one place him when the hierarchy is so complex and varying across different historical and theological sources.

Such as here:

I have been thinking about this and I have two current theories

Crowley is Astaroth

Crowley is The Leviathan

I'll discuss only one in this post. I'll save the other for the next post.

Now book!Omens clearly tells us that Crowley or Crawley is not his real demonic name. For those who haven't read the book this happens when Hastur Lavista and Ligur come to hand over the antichrist to Crowley in the churchyard and as he's about to sign his name as "Crowley" they tell him to sign his real demonic name.

Are you with me?!!!!!

NANNY ASHTORETH!

Why did she use this particular name for her nanny disguise. What if...... what if this IS her real demon name.

A lot of my real life friends are annoyed beyond measure by my constant ranting about etymologies, origin and construction of discourse and epistemology, especially when it comes to presenting my thesis over how all Abrahamic religions and their symbology and iconography is, how do I put it, inspired from pagan religions that they expunged. I mean the concept of angles, the man shaped being with wings that is actually just a ball of fire or eyes or hale discs or sth is a pagan Persian concept.

Back to the matter at hand.

Ashtoreth, Astaroth, Astarte, Ishtar, are all the same name in different dialects and languages. All of these refer to a certain Babylonian goddess. When the People of God probably cleansed off all the infidels they decided to literally demonize their god and name a demon after her. In Milton's Paradise Lost Astaroth is one of the three princes or Grand Dukes of Hell alongside Beelz and Lucifer. If this theory might be true Crowley is a Prince/Grand Duke of Hell.

Now this gets even more interesting. Ashtoreth, Astarte, whatever you may, is a goddess of fertility and is associated with childcare. I mean at this point I just stopped to marvel at the attention to detail that Mr. Gaiman's work hold, the smallest hidden meanings in the storytelling.

Another thing. The Babylonians built these temples called ziggurats to worship Astarte and they looked something like this

and this

they were also known as sky temples.

Because Astaroth was first and foremost the goddess of stars and the Babylonians were stargazers and the temples were constructed as a stairway to heaven to take them closer to the stars and functioned as an observatory at times.

I'm just imagining Crowley turning up in ancient Babylon and with her other-worldly looks, knowledge of the stars and compassion for children they just..... started to worship her.

Before the Christians came and declared them pagans and the rest is history.

Continued in next post for the second theory......

[oniikabuto]

hi i hope this doesnt seem annoying bc i have never requested anything from ppl IDK it makes me anxious 😭 but ur one bed for sp was so cute i adore ur writing !!! do u think u could do it for craigs gang + butters?

one bed! part 2

-- sfw --

part one (main 4 boys)

characters: butters stotch, craig tucker, tweek tweak, tolkien black, jimmy valmer, clyde donovan

a/n: you arent annoying at all dws!! ty for being my first request this is monumental. oh and i wasnt sure if tweek counted as part of craigs gang or not but i adore him so i made one for him. also thank you!!!!!! ;; also jimmy is so underrated i love him so much mwagh

notes: i cant write clyde for shit idk he has no personaluty sorry i love him though; same character dynamic as part 1 (mutual pining, character has a crush on the reader)

— ⛧ b. stotch

complains that it's past his bedtime, but gives in because he wants to spend time with you.

"it's past nine already!"

"well.. yeah. it isn't that late, butters."

"but i always sleep at nine!"

but he'll sit through movies with you anyways because he has a fat crush on you.

except when the end credits start rolling, you look over at butters and he's curled up in a ball, snoring.

you don't have the heart to wake him up, so you quietly shut your laptop and move it off your bed.

he'll probably get in trouble for not coming home at all, but his parents trust you enough. you can probably talk them out of grounding him tomorrow morning.

"butters", you whisper. "leo, you gotta move."

he rolls over, half-asleep and dazed. "huh..?"

"you're staying with me tonight. scoot over."

"o-oh, jeez, okay", he blushes when he feels the warmth of you next to him.

"night, butters."

he's probably praying he doesnt wet the bed he would actually die

murmurs in his sleep and talks about nonsense

drools like a puppy

probably goes mimimimimi like in the cartoons /j

you will wake up with his arm around you. if you move it, he'll find his way back again in his sleep

looks like a baby when he sleeps its so funny you cant help but take photos



— ⛧ c. tucker

you turn around to tell him it's getting late and ask if he needs a ride home

and he's dead asleep. on the floor. textbook over his lap. snoring very softly.

like no wonder it's been so quiet... as you were doing your homework, craig was asleep on your floor.

you felt so bad having to wake him up to move him to your bed

"craig, i'm so sorry. i got distracted, i didn't mean to-"

"it's fine. just let me sleep in the corner. i like your plushies", he yawns.

so he sleeps in the corner against the wall, and you sleep on the outside to make sure he doesn't roll right off the bed.

if you weren't there, he definitely would have bc when you wake up, he's smushed into you.

how can he breathe???

he also violently gnashes his teeth and it's very startling (my brother did that as a kid and i would almost pee myself in fear)

and he'll randomly put his hand somewhere like your face?????? the way he does it is so funny because it always seems like he's wide awake but you look over and he's mouth breathing and sound asleep

yeah he's a mouth breather

it's okay he's a cutie



— ⛧ t. tweak

passes the fuck out from coffee. like CRASHES

"yeah and then i was telling kyle about how- tweek, you okay?"

"tired....... can i go.....mmfjkg"

like at a certain point past 1am he just turns into a dead slug

poor thing

you just send him up to your bedroom and get him a change of clothes so that he doesn't have to sleep in a button-up

except by the time you get up to your room, he's dead asleep.

you don't bother trying to wake him up, since you've never seen him sleep so peacefully.

he's curled up on his side, face buried in your plushies.

you scoot in next to him, so close that you can smell the milky coffee lingering in his hair.

it's kinda nice

in the middle of the night you wake up to a really strange noise.

it's tweek

he's doing this weird clicky thing with his tongue in his mouth in his sleep

like. okay?????? you go back to sleep

and then he flings his whole arm over and WHACKS you hard in the face

"TWEEK??"

"nhg..,"

he just randomly jerks in his sleep, wakes up for a second and falls back asleep

it's very startling

sometimes you have to hold him down with your arms

he loves it



— ⛧ t. black

actually a super chill guy to sleep with

he's enjoyable to have over

you'll both be studying for midterm exams next week, and he yawns

"it's like. ten. do you just wanna spend the night here?"

"is that, uh- is that okay with you?"

"yeah, my room's upstairs. i'll meet you up there in a sec"

he'll text his mom that he's spending the night because he's actually responsible

gets a little embarassed to sleep in your bed

but a win is a win

gets a LOT embarassed when you get in bed with him

falls asleep pretty fast actually

he's a relatively normal sleeper

spends like 30 minutes in the bathroom washing his face and stuff before he goes to bed

"do you have cleanser?"

sleeps like a rock

except for when he randomly talks

like TALKS. clear as day

scares you shitless

"y/n."

'tolkien??? are you up still??"

"why would you do that."

"do what??"

"grape juice"

and then he'd roll over and go back to sleep

does not remember any of his nighttime conversations in the morning

"i said that? are you sure?"



— ⛧ j. valmer

fell asleep on your couch in the middle of a horror movie

to your dismay

because when you turned away from the screen and grab at him in fear, he's SNORING. his ass is SNORING as the clown violently murders the main character.

"jimmy!"

"what?"

you just make a jokingly-angry face at him.

"it's late. can't i ju-just stay h-h-here?"

"well- i mean, sure, but you can't just sleep on the couch, dude. come up to my room, i'll show you."

"re-really?"

grins ear to ear

hes so down bad for you

almost implodes when you lean his crutches against the door and make sure they won't fall

DOES implode when you get in next to him

he smells like dish soap but in a good way

like citrus

you tell him so, and to that he makes a stupid "orange-you happy i'm here" joke

"jimmy, go to sleep."

"f-fine."

makes sure he's got the elastics for his braces in

in the middle of the night he'll whisper your name

"y/n r u still up"

"yeah what"

"i just thought of something really funny"

it gets old so fast but it's okay he's cute



— ⛧ c. donovan

crashes at 8pm after insisting he can pull an all-nighter

refuses to get up unless you drag him by his ankles

and even then he'll lay on the floor like a dead fish

so you just let him stay

meticulously brushes his hair sideways with wet fingers to make sure he doesn't wake up with a bedhead in front of you

he does anyway.

you walk up behind him as he moves his hair "whatcha doin?"

he jumps THREE FEET and whirls around

"nothing!" as if he's hiding a government secret or sum

once you guys r in bed he stops acting all tough and cool and just freaks out

his back will be turned but he's beet red

breathes really loudly when he falls asleep

and sleeps in ATROCIOUS positions

you'll wake up with his foot on your chest and the blanket flipped upside down

someone needs to belt this boy down to the bed or something

he's really a cute sleeper though

sometimes you wake up and see him face-down in a pillow and move him over to make sure he doesn't like. suffocate

and then he wakes up to you on top of him with no context

"....y/n?"



[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Hazmat Hole 1: Overture

I went back and forth on whether to do the pilot or not, but ultimately decided not to. Pilots are meant to be an episode 0 that isn’t necessary to understanding the plot. I may go back to it after episode 8 if I’m not completely sick of this.

It starts off with a story book narration about how hell started because Lucifer was a rebel or something and just states very vaguely that he had big ideas heaven didn’t like. Also Adam was the first man, Lilith was the first woman but she didn’t like Adam and liked Lucifer better they fell in love or whatever and Lucifer gave Eve the apple and he and Lilith were banished to hell. I wish I could lie and say I was skipping over details but they used more words to explain that in about as much depth as I did there. Anyway. The important part is that Charlie is a princess of hell as the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith and the angels go down to hell annually to purge excess souls.

These two start off annoying and by god I do not see them getting any less so. Charlie is legitimately the most generic Disney Princess rip off I have ever seen in my life, complete with reading books aloud bursting into song. It’s genuinely jarring to hear her swear because you can tell the voice director basically just told her actor to pretend she’s auditioning for the little mermaid. Vaggie is annoying because she’s written like a middle schooler’s first “strong female character”. She’s the emo love interest in a B movie that was straight to video and made by people who don’t actually know what emo is.

Appropriation Deer is literally just here to make wise cracks and occasionally move in ways that make animators cry and deviantart users in 2010 scream in joy.

They could probably cut the budget in half by not having him in the show. Anyway no he is not here to do anything besides whine about how television sucks and emphasize that he’s only there at all because he’s into watching people fail and cry or whatever. He’s very flat as a character since he’s just there to be tumblr bait.

Angel is here and spends the entire episode being sexually aggressive to the point of making everyone there uncomfortable and that’s the entire joke. That’s it. He’s a gay man who says penis and wise cracks and sexually harasses the men in the hotel. Because that is how vivziepop writes her mlm characters.

We get a two for one easy joke with these two. Haha gay man is harassing a man who isn’t gay as well as haha asexual gets hit on but he says no way.

Angel is here because “crack is expensive” and they don’t charge him rent there.

Which he says while drinking a whole bottle of liquor to establish he’s an addict because vivziepop is as subtle as a bull in a China shop.

And thus we are taken to our first musical number. It’s very underwhelming.

Also Vaggie sings like she’s getting over a cold and plugging her nose and trying to do an impression of a duck.

The opening number also leaves me with a perplexing question. Can you die in hell? Do you go to super hell if you die in hell?

And we get our first real sexual harassment/assault joke from a giant slug flasher trying to make Charlie touch him in the middle of a musical number. I’m sure this bodes great for how angel’s abuse will be treated.

I hate that I know this but as someone who did shamefully hate watch sausage party twice I have to point out that Adam here is literally just a rip off of a sausage party character.

Everything down to the voice direction is literally just a rip off of the main antagonist of Sausage Party, the douche. This is probably somewhat intentional as vivziepop was a massive fan of that movie when it came out, but if you’re going to make an homage that borders on plagiarism (this is a joke I’m not accusing her of plagiarism here but it’s giving original character, donut steel), does it have to be from sausage party? Does it really? There’s other movies. Anyway he doesn’t say much, just establishes himself as a douche.

Back at the hotel they start filming a new commercial since Alastor intentionally made their first commercial bad because he wanted to make fun of them and hates TVs just that much. Nothing very interesting happens. Angel is hot horny. Husk doesn’t want to be there. Alastor makes a deal with Vaggie to help as long as she never makes him go on TV again.

We go back to Charlie begging Adam to stop coming to hell and killing demons by the hundreds every year and Adam says no in frankly one of the only songs that I like from this series. Sadly, it’s still terribly annoying and repetitive.

Viv posted meme please clap.

Isn’t this the homophobic character from the pilot? Didn’t realize she was given a male voice to imply she’s either a drag Queen or trans I guess. Great. I’m sure it’s a very artistic and respectful choice and not every other more likely reason this was the casting decision.

The episode ends with the discovery that an Angel was killed during the last extermination so they plan to come back in just six months to kill every demon in hell. I might care if any character established themselves as anything other than a vessel to spout boring exposition and sex jokes for twenty minutes.

And that’s episode one. It’s honestly just boring and all of the explicit language sounds extremely forced and awkward.

0/10, the one okay song wasn’t enough to save it. Too much exposition dumping.

[hitlikehammers]

stupid superpower

rating: teen tags: humor, brotherly ribbing, Dustin has a ✨stupid superpower✨, Dustin continues to have issues with his tone ✨for @slashify at my BIRTHDAY MONTH PROMPT FEST for the prompt: Character Has Powers (requested to be Dustin)

“Look, see!” Dustin points at the mat he’s laid out on the coffee table in Steve’s living room. “This is why Dart was so easy, it makes so much sense now.”

He turns to them with the biggest grin that’s getting a little less gummy by the week, now, but…he looks so proud, is the thing.

And it is painful. The pride. What it’s for.

The way they’re gonna have to probably dash it.

“I,” Steve squints at the setup, start to finish, empty cans framing the perimeter before he sighs: “I am not seeing anything, man.”

“No,” Dustin’s voice goes pitchy, really, he should have outgrown that by now, s’looking like it’s a permanent trait, yeesh; “look.”

And he points with such…some superiority, such imperiousness, like…okay, so maybe it’s the least painful of the list, when they have to dash all that pride. Kid’s gotta fucking learn some humility, man. Like, sooner rather than later.

“I told you I could communicate with them!” Dustin pulls off his cap and throws it to the couch, triumphant. Steve watches the mat for a few more seconds before he straights up, cocks his hip and crosses his arms.

“You’re telling me,” he says slowly; “that you talk to slugs.”

Because that…that certainly appears to be what the argument has been. They’d kinda thought Dustin has been joking, in previous passing mention. Eddie, at least, definitely thought he was just being an annoying little prick for how many times he asked if either of them felt particularly chiropteran, muttering about traits from interactions, close encounters, bites would obviously count.

Like, it was Dustin, if they took all the crap he said to heart, weighed it seriously, they’d never do anything else.

Like: ever.

“Interspecial gastropodic extracommunicational phenomena,” Dustin rattles off, a little defensive, if Eddie’s gonna be honest; and it wasn’t exactly called for. Steve just asked a question.

Eddie, on the other hand…

“So slugs and snails,” Eddie confirms, droll as fuck by intention, because Eddie is actually very aware of his tone in most situations, thank you very much; “the shell doesn’t deter you.”

“No, I think it’s the whole at least the whole class, maybe the whole phylum,” and he’s so excited, but, he’s also being a fucking know-it-all about it and there is a part of Eddie that doesn’t want to squash Dustin’s enthusiasm but the bigger part of Eddie, but fucking far, knows for a goddamn fact no one could possible squash Dustin’s enthusiasm, or self-confidence, like, Dustin would happily go toe-to-toe with like, Stephen fucking Hawking, and brag afterward that the intellectual stimulation was lacking.

So Eddie doesn’t actually feel bad about any of this and Dustin rambles on.

“But I think if I got my hands on a limpet, or an abalone—“

And when he looks up he must catch something, like he must be able to tell, to read something despite Eddie being very fucking careful to keep a helluva poker face right now—and Eddie’s kinda proud, because maybe the little shithead can be taught.

“You’re joking,” Dustin concludes, dry as fuck and with the audacity to sound…disappointed? Like in a how-could-you-be-so-juvenile-as-to-stoop-to-this-level kind of way which. Which.

“Not at all,” Eddie clutches his non-existent pearls in mock offense, and Dustin’s eyes just narrow.

“I was right.”

“Might not want to say that too loud, Dusty-Buns,” Eddie shoots right back and Steve coughs unconvincingly to cover a laugh and Eddie bites his bottom lip to stop his own smile, less because of Dustin’s reaction and more just because…Stevie. Being adorable.

Steve being his Stevie.

“Yeah, that feels like slander,” Steve adds in thoughtfully, stroking his chin and everything before he turns to Eddie, considering.

“Can you slander yourself, if you’re embarrassing enough?”

And oh, oh: Eddie adores it when his boyfriend’s bitchy side comes out. He adores it so much.

“‘Course you can, big boy,” Eddie can’t help himself as he leans over and pecks at Steve’s cheek; Dustin scowls at them and Eddie can’t help himself, so he licks up Steve’s cheek for the disgusted grown from Dustin and the half-assed shove from Steve that doesn’t move him further away at all.

“You’re just jealous that I have a superpower,” Dustin ultimately shoots back which: okay, Eddie knows he’s capable of better than that, he’s kind of disappointed, that was so weak.

“It’s a stupid superpower,” Steve points out, plain and simple and Eddie wants to clap his hands. He. Loves. His. Bitchy. Boyfriend.

So. Much.

“Or is it a superpower for stupid?” Eddie asks, turning back to Steve like it’s a genuine question, a worthy debate.

“Naw,” Steve shakes his head, almost regretful; “he is pretty fuckin’ smart.”

“More than one kind of stupid, Stevie,” Eddie notes with due gravitas.

“Envy,” Dustin sniffs, so goddamn superior. “Green’s really not your fucking color,” and ooo, there’s a little snarl, a little sneer on his lips; “either of you.”

“I look good in green,” Steve points out, not even petulant, just factual.

“For example,” Eddie picks up and talks over Dustin’s comment like he never made one, leveling the little asshole with a pointed look:

“Some people are stupid about their tone.”

Steve doesn’t even try to cover his snort that time.

“You look good in everything, sweetheart,” Eddie takes the opportunity to comment, to sneak another kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth as he purrs; “and out.”

“Disgusting,” Dustin gags and Eddie turns to glare as he bites out:

“Tone!”

Like, way to prove Eddie’s fucking point for him, wow, the lack of self-preservation is overwhelming here.

“I’m gonna go find El,” Dustin announces, like he thinks it’s an airport; “she will be thrilled to have someone like her around—“

“Remember what I said?” Eddie turns to Steve, exaggerates the knowing look he gives; “types of dumb,” then he turns again to Dustin, and knows his look is pitying, because he fucking means for it to be.

“Telekinesis and slug-speak aren’t even in the same universe, man,” and Jesus H., Dustin looks offended at the suggestion, which.

Which.

“The overlap of telepathic—“

“Slugs, Dustin,” Steve butts in, cuts him off; “I drown those fuckers in little bowls of beer in the yard. They go in willingly,” and oh. Oh, Eddie loves his boyfriend.

Eddie loves his boyfriend so goddamn much.

Because he hadn’t even noticed the set up, the slight of hand, because Steve had overturned the can of PBR he hadn’t finished, that had gone warm anyway, and dumped it into the shallow little bowl that used to have pretzel sticks inside, low enough to, to—

“Well they won’t anymore,” Dustin declares, fucking haughty with it; “because I will tell them—“

“Yet behold, special super slug-whisperer,” Eddie gasps and gestures wide to the mat where the slug demonstration had originally taken place: “whatever do we have here?”

What they have there is the little bowl of beer, set on the slug mat.

With slugs already drowned inside.

“Probably maybe you should be smarter about where you stick your attention if you really want to save your precious children from their hoppy graves,” Eddie shrugs, and infuses his words with as much fake fucking concern as he can fit into them because slug-whispering.

Fucking honestly.

Dustin only wastes a few seconds gaping at the scene, mouth working around something—comprehension, maybe, or just some degree of shock—before he turns his eyes up and glares at them both.

“You’re evil,” he says definitively, pointing; “both of you.”

“Go see El, Super Slug,” Eddie smiles indulgently; “she’s absolutely trembling with anticipation at the arrival of an equal, I’m sure of it.”

“After all, didn’t you say,” Steve shrugs and folds his arms over his chest, looks Dustin up and down before delivering the final blow:

“You were right.”

And Dustin scowls, and Eddie cackles, because that’s his brother, that’s their brother.

“Fucking assholes,” Dustin mutters, and leaves his slug mat and the beer-bowl behind as he stomps out the door: these children really need to learn about cleaning up after themselves, even if they leave in a stompy little huff like a goddamn toddler, fucking hell: but still.

Dustin’s their brother.

Like they were ever going to let him get away with bragging about slug powers.

permanent tag list (comment to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 

[chuuyrr]

For your scarlet witch x bsd could you please do Chuuya x scarlet witch as Dazais sister, when Dazai was still in the Port Mafia? Maybe reader hanging out with Chuuya to piss of Dazai but eventually it turns into love

chuuya with dazai's scarlet witch! sister

bungo stray dogs x scarlet witch! reader

masterlist of the series

╰➤ CW(s): bsd spoilers, fluff, friends to lovers with chuuya

╰➤ PAIRING(s): nakahara chuuya x f! reader

╰➤ SYNOPSIS: in which you, the scarlet witch of the port mafia, and younger sister of the demon prodigy, end up falling in love with the king of the sheep.

nothing was more terrifying than the siblings taken in by mori ougai of the port mafia.

there was dazai osamu, the demon prodigy, and then there was you, dazai [name], the scarlet witch, and the two of you were terrifying forces to be reckoned with, despite the fact that you were a rank lower and younger than your brother.

nonetheless, you were both respected by the mafiosos and acknowledged by mori himself.

apart from his issues and your own, you and dazai had a close yet very typical sibling relationship. he would annoy you and make fun of the fact that you're younger than him, which is why he'd tell you that you should listen to him, but in reality, dazai was protective, given how you're younger than him and, most importantly, the only family he has left.

speaking of which, dazai would become too protective, especially when boys got too close to you, and may god have mercy on their subordinates who dared to look at you.

he's also protective of you when it comes to mori, and would never hesitate and threaten the man out if he was abusing your gift, your chaos magic, too much, and every time dazai enter his office, it's always dazai who was in front of you in a protective manner.

and so, when nakahara chuuya came into the picture, dazai osamu was incredibly distraught.

ever since nakahara chuuya joined the port mafia at the age of fifteen after the whole incident with rimbaud's betrayal and the purported reappearance of the former port mafia boss, you and him had recently been noticed in each other's company frequently.

you and chuuya would be assigned missions together, and mori and mafiosos would jokingly refer to you as the "double red" because your abilities were both red, whenever chuuya wasn't assigned with dazai, his double black partner, and in those assignments, you two would spend time together and even hung out in the evenings and in your spare time.

and dazai fucking hated it.

he hated it everytime he saw you and chuuya laughing together, and he despised watching you and him chat in the corners of gatherings, and what made dazai hate it the most was that you and chuuya were doing it to irritate him.

dazai always has this urge to throw hands whenever you and chuuya even begin to team up against him with the insults and banters.

he's just betrayed, you know?

"[name], i'm literally your brother, and i'm older than you?!" dazai would say with folded arms and a nerve protruded on his temple, even more pissed off with your response of, "okay, and?"

all of it would always result in dazai scolding you about how you should avoid that slug because of how much of a bad influence chuuya was, even though dazai was probably more of a bad influence to you, and having said that, dazai would also get all passive-aggressive around his partner whenever you were mentioned in a topic, and vice versa when you mentioned chuuya.

but of course, you being you, you didn't actually give a damn about your brother's opinion.

dazai's words would simply pass from one of your ears to the other, and you would continue to hang out with chuuya regardless, because he can't do anything given how powerful your chaos magic was, and that's because only your ability can go against his gift-disabling ability, which he absolutely despises.

but, deep down, a part of you just can't stop thinking about chuuya, and you keep mentioning him to dazai every now and again, unable to keep that tongue of yours from talking about chuuya around dazai.

"aww, but chuuya's cool and you know it," you would say only for dazai to roll his eyes at you.

"can you shut up about that hatrack for once before i disown you, [name]?" was his response, and it would always make you crack up.

there was something about chuuya that made you feel safe. he was a year older than you and currently a member of the flags, a port mafia subgroup. apart from that, he was also very different from the men in the port mafia.

chuuya, despite being an arrogant, blunt young man who is unrelenting, you know all too well how he does not take people's lives for granted and understands the value of compromise and rationality. he also avoids using unnecessary severe techniques when necessary and has the intelligence to know when enough is enough, which is the polar opposite of your older brother.

and most importantly, chuuya cares.

even if it wasn't so clear given how brazen chuuya's actions can be, that gesture of kindness was something you felt this organization you and dazai had joined lacked.

and, much to dazai's dismay, as well as your own surprise that is, it didn't take long for those hangouts you and chuuya intended to irritate him to... escalate into something else.

you were still in the port mafia headquarters because it was where you frequently stayed and even slept because the shipping containers you and dazai lived in were just not to your liking.

you had just finished your assignment's report to mori when you came upon chuuya, who was leaning against the wall outside your office door in the headquarters down the corridor, seemingly waiting for you.

he was wearing his trademark choker and gloves, as well as his black suit and tie, which you secretly thought was really attractive.

"chuuya, hey," you smiled as you approached the ginger-haired boy, "what are you doing out here? it's late."

"i know," chuuya said with a chuckle as he folded his arms in front of you, "but that vagabond of a brother of yours isn't around so and there's a convenient store nearby.."

"so?" you tilted your head, already smiling.

"so do you wanna grab a drink or two?" chuuya asked, tilting his head back at you.

"oh, but you just said that my brother isn't around.." you began, but chuuya raised an eyebrow at you, confused by your assertion.

"yeah, and?"

"there's no one to piss off right now?"

chuuya fell silent for a while, soaking in your words as he blinked, then a quick laugh erupted from his throat and a smile tugged on his lips, leaving you confused this time.

"i don't give a damn about your brother. I give a damn about you, idiot," chuuya remarked, shaking his head and laughing softly.

"wait, what?"

"what?"

you stood there, dumbfounded, your eyes burning crimson with psionic energy out of surprise, which was an emotion that was amplifying your ability right now, however, before you could finish your sentence, chuuya had already grabbed your hand and dragged you away, pushing you to walk along with him.

"come on, it'll just be a quick run," chuuya said, looking back at you with a grin.

"okay, fine, but you're the one paying, chuuya," you exclaimed with a wink and a giggle.

you began to pick up your own legs, now openly strolling alongside chuuya, when a familiar voice echoed down the corridor, prompting you and chuuya to both pause and turn your heads,

"what the hell is the meaning of that?!" cried out dazai, his eyes fixed on the fact that you two were holding hands right in front of his eyes.

you and chuuya looked at one other for a second, then at your entwined hands, until a smirk crept across his expression as he faced you again.

"speak of the devil, looks like we have someone to piss off now," he exclaimed with a chuckle.

and it doesn't take long for you to smirk as well.

"and sneaking out tonight and running away from my dear brother sounds like avery good idea right now," you said as tilted your head.

with chuuya's grasp of your hand, the two of you instantly start sprinting down the corridor, causing you both to hear your brother's exaggerated and loud gasp at this particular sight.

you and chuuya laughed as dazai's snarky yet highly comical remarks and insults at you both echoed down the hall as the two of you sprinted, chuuya activating his gravity manipulation ability to make you both lighter and faster. chuuya's hand felt warm in yours, and your heart was racing and skipping a beat with a rush of adrenaline in your veins.

as dazai catches up to the two of you in a common room, you extended your hand, shooting red vapors of psionic energy that instantly opened up the window.

chuuya glanced at you, winking at you before looking back at dazai with a very smug look.

"sorry, mackarel, but your sister's mine."

you've never felt more alive than now, and for some reason, butterflies are now fluttering around in your stomach at the sensation you can't seem to get enough of as you heard those words spill from chuuya's lips. you were his.

with that, chuuya wrapped his arm around your waist and together, the two of you jumped through the window, both of you activating your respective abilities, your red psionics and his gravity manipulation ability, fleeing from dazai and down a few floors given the height.

dazai pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh, a slight smile tugging on his lips as he stands there in front of the open window, watching you and chuuya laugh and make your way towards a convenience store together like the teens you both were from afar, holding each other's hands even..

the harbinger of chaos with the god of calamity; scarlet witch and arahabaki together.

it sounds so fitting it pisses him off even more.

but, as much as dazai despises it, he can see how you and chuuuya fit together like puzzle pieces.

[ author's notes ! ngl i kinda hate how this one turned out, but i hope it turned out just as sweet as i intended it to be. thank you so much for requesting and yeah, sorry for not writing much lately, character.ai currently has me in a chokehold PLS FSGEHSJKS but yeah, anyway, bye lol <3 ]

[ join my taglist, perhaps ? @atomi-mi @anonymousewrites @magpiemissy @anqelically @96jnie @lovesick-fairy @soleelia @celestair @irethepotato @idunnomynamesince2005 @nianre @sigmasdarling @lenasvoid @achlysyo @youdidntseemehere21 ]

[sorcerersandskillusers]

I'm not a professional writer, but as someone who reads a lot and writes a bit, (especially bsd stuff) I wanted to give some general advice.

Use character's names more

Its really common, especially in fanfiction, to see people constantly referring to characters by a descriptor and very rarely using the characters actual name; "The tall man said" , "The brunette thought", "dark haired woman asked", "The blue eyed man" etc...

I get why people do this, and it can be really good if done occasionally and in the right situations, but it gets annoying fast if its used all the time.

Characters names are important, they give the reader a clear idea of who is speaking and avoid confusion, they also feel more natural since in real life you talk about people with their names 90% of the time. Don't be afraid to use them, and reuse them whenever focus shifts to another character then back, it will help readers know exactly whats going on and it will flow better then switching through descriptors over and over.

The best time to use descriptors as identifiers is when a characters name hasn't been revealed, this lets the readers know who is the focus without revealing who they are exactly.

Anyway, feel free to ignore this, but I hope at least some of you find it helpful if your trying to write interactions.

BSD specific advice

Dazai and Chuuya mostly use each others real names, so many fics have them constantly calling each other the same two nicknames every time they talk (Normally Mackerel and Slug/Chibi).

Dazai and Chuuya only really use nicknames when they're bickering, and when they do use nicknames they constantly change them and come up with new ones, they never just use the same ones over and over.

look back at the series, and see for yourself, they will feel a lot more in character if you write them like they are in the show/manga

[enbysiriusblack]

bartylily hcs but from a person that doesn't know much about fandom's barty:

in a young achiever's program together. they both hate it. and also practically run it.

prefect rounds together but its lily being annoyed barty is always late, and barty being late because he was getting snacks from the kitchens because he can tell lily is always high during prefect rounds

them both being friends with benefits with one of their best friends (lily & marlene and barty & evan)

lily reading in the library and barty appearing from between bookshelves to tell her spoilers of every book

barty joins the ravenclaw quidditch team one year and lily makes out with him straight after seeing him play (jocks are very much her type)

lily sells essays to other students and she hires barty on to write essays for subjects she doesn't take/doesn't have time for. he requests to be paid in muggle sweets instead of money. she doesn't understand why but accepts. he does it because he just finds essay writing fun but doesn't want to seem like he's doing it for nothing.

barty giving stick n poke tattoos to people and lily ends up getting loads of random doodles all over her arms. she loves it.

the kind of people to come out of an exam after smashing it, walk around the corner to meet each other and dance and scream in celebration. also when they get their exam results as well.

slug club members. all of barty's friends are in slug club so he just goes with them, whilst lily takes a friend that isn't in it (usually remus or emmeline), but they always end up doing weird competitions with each other anyway (trying to eat as much gross food without throwing it up, starting a conga and betting with each other on who will join, competiting to tell the wildest stories that slughorn still belives is true, etc)

[anaer]

the time travel fix it fuck it up fic (wip)

in which gojo ends up back in time and decides its time for a hostile takeover

stsg/sukugo, rating: probably don't share with your family

According to the blurry numbers on the clock screaming at his face, it was 4:33 in the fucking morning when Geto Suguru, renowned cult leader, was forcefully woken by a loud cacophony sounding the destruction of at least three walls of his temple. He had half a second to try and process – ‘What the fuck was that?’ – before an even louder, much more familiar, much more annoying sound echoed through the compound.

“Suguru!”

Uncalled for indignation: that was the first thing Geto registered. The second thing he registered was a foot buried in his gut, and his body crashing into his bedroom wall. Well. He was awake now. Just in time to see a fist coming straight for his face, and he barely ducked out of the way, rolling past Satoru looking like death and whatever snit he was suddenly in.

“What the fuck?!” he demanded. “Do you know what time it is?” Everyone, especially Satoru, knew how he felt about his sleep getting interrupted. He couldn’t be his best self with less than eight hours and twenty-four minutes of sleep per night.

“It’s September!” Satoru shot back at him. “Three months before December!”

And also two years since the last time Satoru had hung up on him very rudely in the middle of one of his earnest entreaties to get him to come around to the better side of killing most of the world. This was how he decided they were talking again?

“I’m glad you know how to read a goddamn calendar? What the hell is your problem?”

Satoru slugged him right in the jaw, hard enough to make Geto’s head ring. “I know you’re planning to murder my student.”

What?

God, his fucking face hurt now. This was not how he wanted to start his morning; he had so much important cult shit to deal with today, and now he was going to be in a mood. And he wasn’t planning to kill any of Satoru’s students yet, so what was this even about? Another blow caught him in the stomach, and he doubled over gasping, grabbing onto Satoru’s t-shirt.

“Stop…punching me!”

Satoru complied, but only because a hand clamped entirely too threateningly around his neck to haul him up instead. The grin on Satoru’s face was honestly psychotic. Geto hated how hot that was. He’d really shot himself in the foot that time he’d convinced Satoru that mass murder was bad. Hindsight and all that…they really could’ve had it all. It was amazing how stupid teenage hormones and morality had made him.

“I have had,” Satoru began slowly, his grip slowly tightening on Geto’s throat, “a really bad year. Unbelievably bad. That stupid brain, then that stupid box, and then…well, the fight was great, honestly. A little embarrassing to die on live TV, but worth it, I think. Sukuna was—ahhh, he was so much better than I expected, and now that’s all ruined, which—not the point. At first, I was happy, in the airport, to see you again – things get weird when you die – but then I woke up this morning, alive, and I saw it was September.”

“You’ve already established it’s September,” Geto croaked.

Satoru scoffed, pinning him with a glare that did not intimidate him as much as turned him on. Satoru looked so fuckable like this.

“I woke up,” Satoru repeated, “and on my way here, I realised: you! You’re the problem! You are the root of all my problems. Every single one of them! I would kill you, but that’s what started this entire mess to begin with!”

Geto had zero idea what he was talking about. Not that he actively spent sixty eight percent of his time spying on Satoru or anything (he was a known liar), but he knew for a fact that Satoru had spent most of the past year fucking around Japan eating anything he could get his hands on, toying with underpowered curses, pissing off the higher ups, and avidly not teaching his students anything useful. He’d even fucked Nanami a time or two, which was something Geto tried not to think about too much for the thin remnants of his own sanity. Still: it’d been a pretty good year for him, as far as Geto was concerned. He’d definitely not done anything half as annoyingly obnoxious as die, let alone on live TV. Whatever the fuck bullshit he was spewing from his mouth was complete nonsense, which could really only mean one thing: Gojo Satoru had finally, fully snapped.

Geto thought about all that, and then didn’t think through his answer at all: “As if you could kill me.”

[your-nanas-house]

Secret mission

(Photos not mine, credit to the owners)

◇ Pairing: Tom Riddle X follower!Reader

◇ Warnings: slightly smut, hook ups, missions, slightly fluff

◇ Summary: Y/n receives a secret mission by her dark lord.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English.

The Malfoy summer residence was massive and somber when viewed from the outside, a dwelling many dreamed of and several purebloods could afford, inside it was no different, elegant, wealthy and very pureblood.

It was used mainly during the family's summer vacations but since Abrasax had finished school it had become the abode where his lord, the dark lord, took refuge and ran meetings with his most trusted followers namely the purebloods he met years earlier at Hogwarts and who were still loyal to him.

One of these besides Abrasax and those who were part of the Slug Club during his school years there was a witch also from a pureblood family, belonging to the Slytherin house who, however, did not follow the ideals of those of her own blood. She was a slightly more open-minded girl which did not go unnoticed by Tom, especially during her school years, not many people considered her because of her quiet, almost shy and reserved nature.

She was the kind of person who doesn't want to annoy or be noticed that much and therefore a more introverted person who was only noticed after several minutes of walking into a room.

There was nothing special about her other than that, she was a quiet and devout witch, which is why the dark lord made such a decision.

During one of the meetings hosted at the Malfoy summer residence Tom seated his followers at the usual table made of mahogany, he was seated at the head of the table and the attention was completely on him as always, he spoke of his intentions and the news and then directed his attention to Y/n who as always was seated in the corner of the table, her low gaze fixed on the table as she listened attentively to what he was saying. She was wearing baggy clothes that covered and did not enhance, her face was without makeup, completely natural and her hair neat and arranged, her hair was the only thing she had in common with the other witches of her own kind.

No one had really noticed her but everything changed when her name echoed in the room they were in and the voice that spoke it was Tom's very voice.

All the eyes of the Death Eaters turned in the direction their lord was looking and then whispered surprised things to each other wondering when she had entered or why their lord had called her which they did not find out precisely since Tom simply got up slowly from his chair ordering the others to leave to talk alone with the young witch who was staring at him surprised and confused with her eyes wide and worried.

Everyone knew the significance and honor it was to be alone with Tom Riddle, especially if he was the very person who had requested or ordered it.

The followers followed the orders without question leaving the two alone in the huge dining room, Y/n did not move an inch as she waited to know why she was left there alone with her lord. 

It was soon revealed the mystery as Tom slowly approached her and sat down next to her making her turn to him with a malicious smile "I have a very...personal mission for you to do, my dear" he paused for a moment before continuing by pouring her with a spell some tea that a house elf had just brought inside the room "a mission that is close to my heart and must remain a secret between the two of us, I know it will be so but I simply wanted to make sure that you don't make words with anyone of the things you will discover during this assignment, do we understand each other?" Y/n simply nodded muttering an "of course, my lord" while continuing to anxiously wait for more details from the dark wizard who continued to speak after a sip of black tea "I need you to go to the Muggle world for a period so that I can be able to find out more about my origins and my family. I want you to look for information about both my father and mother starting simply from the fact that I know I am the Heir of Slytherin and my surname, do you think you can do that?".

The young witch nodded in surprise that she was receiving such a task, assuring him that she would do her best and that it would remain between the two of them, no one would find out anything.

These were the last things they said to each other before she left and disappeared for a whole month, sending occasional letters to Tom to hint him how things were going leaving the Slytherin heir in a state of wanting to know more and slight impatience but trusting the abilities of his trusted follower.

There were no letters for a week before her return, Y/n wrote her last letter exactly a week before she showed up as Tom had requested her to the meeting that would be held on the deadline the wizard had given her.

The meeting was again in the summer residence but this time something had changed, a different air was circulating and the focus was no longer just on Tom but on Y/n or what was left of her.

She was a completely different person, the shyness and reservedness was as if vanished showing a more confident and feminine side, her clothes were more revealing, a neckline was visible and her forms were well shown, she had even cut her hair in that month finding even makeup that brought out the highlights of her face. 

She was definitely different, something had happened and the male Death Eaters did not mind at all, the same could not be said of the women in the room especially when Tom requested a moment alone with Y/n after their meeting.

The young witch had to present herself in his study in order to be away from prying eyes and ears that might overhear the things she had discovered, when she entered the room she noticed how it had all been changed in style that mirrored Tom's own, he was sitting in his armchair by the fireplace, his red gaze fixed on the flames as he waited.

His head turned slowly casting a glance at Y/n before he smiled and nodded to her indicating her to sit in the armchair there next to him speaking only when he saw her sitting down.

"How did the mission go?" he asked her his eyes traveled lingering on the uncovered parts of her body and then her lips emphasized with lip gloss "good, definitely good, I found out what you wanted" she replied as she crossed her legs telling him how she found out more about the Gaunt family, Tom's mother's family, and the Riddle family, Tom's father's family. 

She stopped only when she finished her story of how things really happened before the Dark Lord's conception, biting her lower lip slightly as he continued to keep his red eyes on her, studying the changes and the things that were still left of the Y/n from before...if there were things left. 

There was a moment of silence between the two filled just by the crackling noise of the fire before he spoke again "what happened in the Muggle world that you didn't tell me?" he declared as he looked up again at her face noticing a blush appearing on her face and her y/e/c eyes setting away from his as she squeezed her thighs lightly together in a sinful way. 

Tom could see some embarrassment but also a spark of excitement in the girl's eyes as she let out a deep sigh before looking him in the eye "I did something very wrong but I would do it again" she nodded slightly before slowly getting up, moving closer to him.

Tom's body stiffened and his slightly hungry gaze followed every movement Y/n made as she slowly approached him, stopping behind the armchair "it was amazing, something I had never experienced before, the way his hands moved all over my body in such an.... expert and passionate way" Tom swore he heard her meow softly as she placed her hands on his shoulders tracing them before going to his chest slowly opening his shirt while her lips grazed the skin of his neck "the way his lips touched my bare... skin" she whispered the last word in his ear noticing the growing arousal in her dark lord that had slowly relaxed to her touch and a tent in his black pants was beginning to grow " he made me feel things no one has ever made me feel" she bit her own lip before shifting and stopping the physical contact with Tom but only briefly as with one movement she fell straddling his lap grabbing his tie "and the way his hips moved" she purred closing her eyes as she imagined probably the things that happened under the sheets in a yet unidentified bedroom.

Tom couldn't read her mind though, too distracted as she began to grind against him making snaps that made him hold his breath and desire for more "I'm aware of how wrong it is being me a pureblood but that muggle was just something" she murmured letting a sigh escape as she felt Tom's big, pale hands moving over her exposed thighs "a muggle? " he murmured in disbelief but could say nothing more because she kissed the corner of his mouth before whispering against his skin "a Muggle and it would never have happened without you, my lord" she murmured brushing her lips against his jaw and moving to his neck causing Tom's head to rest against the armchair as he waited impatiently for ecstasy "your father has a beautiful home, a manor and he lives there with his mother and father, he has an old money style and he looks a lot like you" there was another small pause "only older and more mature" she murmured the last word in his ear, rolling her hips against his before standing up noticing how Tom's body reacted to the separation, moving toward her with the intent of grabbing her and bringing her back to where she was.

Y/n moved around the room looking around before turning and biting her bottom lip with a hungry look turned toward Tom's "and he's really good at it" she winked and an embarrassed giggle came out of her as she sighed dreamily not noticing the change of expression on her lord's face.

Taglist:

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