#also thank you to the people who draw hobbits to be more creature-like

[blackrabbit-megapig]

Thank you to all Hobbit and bagginshield artists who don’t draw Bilbo to look like Martin Freeman. You have my love and gratitude forever!

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: A Long-Expected Party

There’s something so incredibly endearing about the slow, meandering beginning of LotR.

Even today—in a day and age when every author tries to grab you by the eyeballs in the first five words—Tolkien’s writing still has that gentle, irresistible draw that takes you by the hand and leads you slowly but surely into adventure. Something about a “birthday party of special magnificence” just appeals to all our inner children, I think; and the tiny mysteries, and the joy of a world of fantastical creatures living in peace and comfort, just adds to that. You want to go to Middle Earth, and you want to get lost in it. It’s like a lazy river at a water park; you wade in, get settled, and relax, and the next thing you know you’re far away from where you started.

All of that to say, Tolkien’s writing is goals and I aspire to be even a fraction of what this man was someday.

Anyway. To the bullet points!

Isn’t it hilarious how quick people are to begrudge one another their good fortune?? If Bilbo had been poor and died in a timely manner his neighbors would probably have liked him just fine, but he gets a lot of wealth and lives a long time and all the hobbits go >:-(

They’re not wrong to be suspicious, of course, but it’s still a biting social commentary. And very funny!

“As Mr. Baggins was generous with his money, most people were willing to forgive him his oddities and his good fortune.” 🤣

“You should come live with me so we can celebrate our birthday parties more comfortably together” belongs in the same category as C. S. Lewis’ “and they got so used to arguing that they married each other to keep doing it more conveniently”

“And suddenly, all the old people found that everyone actually WANTED to hear their rambling stories!”

GAFFER GAMGEE MY BELOVED

Hobbits are all so terribly prejudiced. What endearing morons.

Ooh, confirmation that Bilbo and Frodo look similar!

“There never was much to tell of him! … Till he was drownded.” “DROWNDED??”

I love that the only things we know about Drogo Baggins are that he was unremarkable and fat and married a strange woman

The Gaffer: “Thank goodness Mr. Bilbo saved young Mr. Frodo from those strange, dastardly Bucklanders…”

Meanwhile, Merry feels his eye Twitch and doesn’t know why 🤣

The spelling of jewels as “jools” is adorable for reasons I can’t describe

Tiny Gaffer Gamgee saw Bilbo come home from his Adventure!!

The Gaffer’s words are strangely prophetic. Sam did indeed land in trouble that was bigger than him—and thank goodness he did.

The Gaffer basically says here “if generosity is being strange, we could do with a lot more strangeness!” and honestly that’s a motto I want to live by

I love that Sam is most likely the one who started the rumor about the fireworks X-D

I wish we’d gotten to see the Dwarves visiting Bag End in the movies. It’s a shame they were cut. Imagine what cool costumes they could have had!

“G for grand!” and Gandalf’s smile. Ugh, my heart 🥹

Pity that September 22nd fell on a Friday this year. We were so close to it being a Thursday, like in the book! Oh well. Try again another year, I guess X-D

Are small business owners grumbling about your purchases from foreign parts?? Here’s an easy solution! Just BUY OUT THE STOCK OF EVERYONE FOR MILES AROUND IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS

Also the fact that the post offices are absolutely flooded 🤣 Bilbo, you madlad

“Old Gaffer Gamgee stopped even pretending to work on his garden” LOL

The brief paragraph of NOOO BAD WEATHER THE DAY BEFORE THE PARTY is honestly spectacular. It’s so nerve-wracking for just a second there—which is hilarious in light of the war and death and GIANT SPIDERS we’re going to read about. I think it has a flavor of Tolkien’s beliefs on eucatastrophe hidden in there—it’s not out of Bilbo’s own effort that the weather cleared up just in time for his party, it was just happy providence—but I’m too tired to write an essay about it right now.

“Half the Shire’s been invited…and the rest of them are turning up anyway!”

The hobbits who came through the gate again to get a second present 🤣🤣🤣

“The hobbit-children were so excited that for a while they almost forgot about eating.” That’s impressive!!

I love that some of the toys are dwarven-made. That’s such a cool detail that makes the world seem both fantastical (because dwarves!) and real (because you can Amazon order toys from them!) at the same time.

The names of the fireworks!! Especially the ones that are onomatopoeia, like “backarappers”! It just makes brain go ✨✨✨

Pfffft, yellow rain

There’s the express train reference!

Notable difference here: in the movies, the big dragon firework was set off ahead of schedule by Merry and Pippin, and all the hobbits freak out. In the book, the big dragon firework is set off right on time to signal supper, and all the hobbits freak out (but are immediately pacified by food).

Small detail I’d like to see in more fanfics: “Bilbo had been specializing in food for many years, and his table had a high reputation.” Yes, the idea of Bilbo and Frodo eating like the bachelors they are is hilarious, BUT! We have textual evidence to the contrary! I don’t know if this line means that Bilbo was a magnificent cook himself or simply hired magnificent cooks, but either way, it’s canon that the Bag End bachelors ate like kings!

“The feast was so incredible that everyone was incredibly full and took home leftovers and no one bought any new groceries for weeks. The good news is that Bilbo had bought out all the grocery stores anyway, so it was fine.”

Why is the detail about the golden buttons on Bilbo’s waistcoat so enchanting to me?? I really think this chapter just activates the Inner Child Mode in my brain, and suddenly even something as simple as shiny buttons becomes beautiful and magical. Also it’s just a lovely way to paint a vivid picture in my mind.

I’m so glad they kept so many of the jokes in Bilbo’s speech for the movies 🤣 “PROUDFEET!!”

And now here we see Tolkien, author of the fantasy epic that has defined the genre for a century and counting, unironically using caps lock. Folks, you can’t make this crap up.

The sneaky way Tolkien says Bilbo vanished before he mentions the flash of light is Very Good and hints at the fact that there’s something else at work here

Rory Brandybuck is the G.O.A.T.

“But at the same time he felt deeply troubled: he realized suddenly that he loved the old hobbit dearly.” Aww, Frodo…

Incredible that the debate between Bilbo and Gandalf over the Ring takes up almost four pages, but it doesn’t feel like it. Excellent suspense.

I wonder where Gandalf is going “to bed”. It doesn’t look like he’s staying in Bag End, so did he get a room at an inn somewhere? Is he sleeping in his cart??

Also it’s implied later in the book that Gandalf the White doesn’t sleep. Inconsistency?? A slight untruth?? Secret powerup to Gandalf the White that we’ve overlooked??

“The sun rose. The hobbits rose rather later.” Pffft

The SHADE in all the presents oh my WORD

Except for the ones for the poorer hobbits. Bilbo’s gift for the Gaffer is so simple in its contents, and yet so generous and thoughtful 🥹

MERRY MY LAD

MY FAVORITE HOBBIT (don’t tell the others)

How old would Merry have been here?? Like nineteen?? Incredible that he was already such a logistics guy that Frodo trusted him to keep an eye on the house while all the chaos is happening.

“Do you hear that, Merry? That was an insult, if you like.” “It was a compliment, and so, of course, not true.” HAHAHAHA DRAG HIM MERRY

“IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN, FRODO, I SHALL BLOW YOUR DOOR RIGHT DOWN YOUR HOLE AND OUT THROUGH THE HILL” 🤣🤣🤣

Frodo: “I’m so sorry, I thought you were Lobelia!” Gandalf: “Understandable, have a nice day”

“I would give them Bag End and everything else, if I could get Bilbo back and go off tramping in the country with him.” N’aww, Frodoooo 😭

“Look out for me, especially at unlikely times!” Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.…

“Frodo did not see him again for a long time.” Ooh, ominous.

[feeshybeach]

trannytek -> feeshybeach

collective names : Scott , Tango , Jimmy

collective pronouns : he/sea/pup + ice/cold/snow/fire/flames

other info : im an intersex bigender gaybian tranny who is unbelievably tired and bogged down by day to day life && disabilities. we're a diagnosed DID system. We also have BPD, OCD ( many forms ), as well as autism and adhd. We are psychotic , like genuinely. and sometimes believe that we are LITERALLY c! Scott Smajor , c! TangoTek , and c! Jimmy Solidarity. None of us expect you / others to feed into this delusional state when it appears - but avidly going into our ask box and dms declaring otherwise or trying to reality check us will result in a block. We're also otherkin && therian && at times just a straight up dog. wild huh.

tldr : I am the scary mentally ill freak on the internet who's got blue hair ( in spirit ) and pronouns . . .

If you're interested in an out of date rentry that does not currently host even HALF of our alters rentrys, then click HERE.ᐟ.ᐟ

I draw when I'm motivated, too, same with writing. I don't post much of anything related to MY art or whatever. I have an art blog ( @transmodifiedtek ) it's currently dormant and phased out.

I am most likely to post with #my art if you're interested !

As a system, we are pretty fluid on the language we use to refer to our alters. Including but not limited to ; alters, ego states, parts, and headmates. Do not police the language we use referring to our disorder. thanks.

we don't expect much from our followers but to simply be kind. That's literally it.

dms, asks*, etc, are always open! interact with us!! We are a social creature, albeit a very tired, anxious, and often awkward creature.

* If you send me an ask about a gofundme or Gaza, it will be deleted. you will be blocked. I am literally homeless. I live with zero electricity or running water in a van. I can not help you. And I will not post your requests for aid. I am not the person you should turn to in this case. Good luck, genuinely.

main fandoms ( in NO order beyond Bold = Insane Over ) ;

Hermitcraft, empires s2, life series, dsmp, team crafted / old mcyt, yogscast, my little pony, HOMESTUCK, TOME (terrain of magical expertise), BBC Sherlock, BBC Merlin, Harry Potter¹, lord of the rings/the hobbit, welcome to night vale

¹ we have a long-term special interest in Harry Potter fanfic and fanon, and we do not support jkr. terfs && holocaust deiners suck <- understatement of the century. . .

this is like the general DNI / BYF section, but it's just me stating thoughts and feelings ur welcome to take it, however !

If you support endogenics & and non traumagenic systems / plurality , this blog is not for you. I have severe trauma with that community, and I would seriously prefer you to preach your bullshit elsewhere. It is not welcomed here.

i do not give a shit about cc!wilbur & cc!dream. I genuinely do not care. I am here for the characters nine times outta ten.

this blog LOVEESS kinky sex and the right for two ( or more ) consenting adults to do whatever they want. Yes, this includes "immoral acts." I promise you the people participating in rape kinks, age play kinks, and pet play kinks are not the problem. Thought crimes do not exist. It should not be a crime for two+ adults to do whatever the fuck they want in the bedroom. who cares? What are you? A cop? Acab. :/ also bark bark awoo wag wag

no fiction is immoral or inherently evil - kill the puritan in your head. write that fuck nasty toxic yaoi & yuri. writing "bad and nasty" things is a good thing. censorship is never a good thing. my general rule of thumb is, "If prime time television can go into depth about a pedophile sex ring, you can write fanficion about the same exact thing and not be told to kill yourself over it." Who cares ?? its fiction.

mspec & mspec mono identities have a long historical part of the queer community - this has not and will not change. also, I will laugh at you if your dni has Exlusionists while you actively exclude queers you personally don't like / think are faking being queer.

[cheriboms]

Thank you @mythical-bookworm and @brinkle-brackle for both tagging me in this :D i havent done a tag game in so long !!!

1) Spell your name in songs

Don't wanna put my actual name so I'll do my online name :)

"Cinematic" - Owl City

"HOME;RUN" - Seventeen

"Eleanor Rigby" - The Beatles

"Rocket Man" - Elton John

"Rainbow Connection" - The Muppets

"Youth" - Daughter

^This was literally the hardest thing ever T_T I almost put two songs per letter bc I had so many I wanted to use lol

2) Why did you choose your URL?

When I was in middle school, one of my friends phones autocorrected my name to 'Cherry' so it became to nickname -> still the screen name I use today. For a long time my url was cherrybombz01 (cause like cherry bombs lol) but I somewhat recently changed it to cheriboms bc i thought that looked more fun and cute uwu

3) What is your middle name?

Not really comfy putting my actual middle name, but I will say it's the same as my mom's :) I think it's pretty in general, and imo fits me maybe better than my actual name (vibe-wise), but I still dunno if it's very "me" overall :P

4) If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be?

I've seen a couple people say "hobbit" and like UGH YEAH ;A; what i wouldnt give to live that life !!!!!! T_T But if I couldn't be that then I think I'd maybe be a ghost or a lilliputian/borrower type of person. Something that's otherwise just living in the background of things is my vibe hahaha

5) Favorite color?

Sky blue for sure!! Esp when paired w a darker blue <3 That's why I chose that color scheme for my tumblr account :)

6) Song you love right now?

"Safe Place to Land" by Christian Burghardt. It's been a favorite for a few years rn and just remade its rounds; it just always gives such good found family/platonic love energy to me ;w;

7) Top four fandoms?

Oof, like ever??? THATS HARD D: But I'll try...

Lord of the Rings (my forever LOML, it's been w me since I was a kid, I've reread it so many times, and it always inspires me creatively <333)

Star Wars (half childhood nostalgia, half family dynamics go brrr lol. Also, cool magic powers and laser swords!)

Portal (my first real foray into fandom, it was what brought me to Tumblr and is my favorite video game ever!!)

Yogscast (LOL this was my main fandom for yeeeeaaars. When I first made my art account (on insta) this was all I would draw for so long :'D So I owe a gooood chunk of my art growth to it.)

Honorable mentions (bc im extremely indecisive ^^;):

Supernatural (unfortunately lol -_- this became my main fandom during highschool, I literally named my (old) blog after it smh :'D) Tintin (the boy I draw whenever idk what to draw <3 also it was one of the things my irl bestie and I first bonded over ;w;) and ofc currently -- Back to the Future (has gotten me out of a biiig creative slump. I'm very very insecure about my art [and writing, tho thats another story e_e], but everyone in this fandom has been super nice, so it has made me want to post more instead of hiding all of my work away lmbo oTL)

8) Tag nine people

Ooh umm, idk I always feel so nervous tagging people :'0 Plus idk who's already been tagged in this chain! But I'll just tag my 9 most recent followers bc I definitely don't know them, and I'd like to :D

@oflightnessanddoubt @aubrey-is-singing @jumpin--bean @ask-sofia-isabella-miller @childofwatercos @puppups-doodles @notfutureboy @qwertyisqueen @yuplusjin

You don't have to do it obviously, but if you want to then there you go! :) Thank you so much again to @mythical-bookworm and @brinkle-brackle for both tagging me! <333

Get To Know Me Tag Game!

(Thanks to @bg-sparrow and @professorsaber for tagging me)

1) Spell your name in songs (Songs I enjoy to listen to. Also 3 songs with the letter O and a K song??? This was hard)

Bushes of Love (Star Wars) by Bad Lip Reading

One Way or Another by Blondie

Oh Wonder - Without You (Justice Skolnik Remix)

Karma by Vocaloid

Where is Your Rider by The Oh Hellos

One Mint Julep by the Clovers

Ruler of Everything by Tally Hall

Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

2) Why did you choose your URL?

My URL is derived from MythicalBookWorm. I wanted this to be it originally but it was already taken :( I created it back in 2020 when I joined a little kids coding website called Scratch. Now how I came up with it? No fun story there. Just stared at the sign-up pages for a while, trying to come up with characteristics about me before this popped into my head. Ever since then this has been my user online. After all, Scratch got me into art and animation, and online in general. I still really like the URL and it is officially me online.

3) What is your middle name?

I don't feel comfortable saying it as it is apart of my real name. However: In the context of my full name, I like my middle name. It flows extremely nicely and is the reason my parents gave me it, along with the name being in the family once before. By itself though? Never liked it. In or out of context I have always hated the name. Put it on anyone, anything, don't like it.

4) If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be?

Isn't funny how I have contemplated this a lot? Now if we were going by personality, I would definitely be a phoenix. However, this is choice. So 100% dragon! Think about it: flight, fire, and fingers! It's the best combination of fun, powerful, and convenient/realistic. Plus wouldn't it be cool to roll your throat and make those super intimidating throat growls?

5) Favorite color?

Magenta! 2nd is Lavender, 3rd is Teal/Cyan.

6) Song you love right now?

Well, recently watched and fell in love with the Back to the Future Musical, so Hello, is Anybody Home? and Teach Him a Lesson (That he'll always forget! <Never forget>) Also found Crane Wives recently so I've been enjoying their songs as well. :)

7) Top four fandoms?

Back to the Future

Amphibia

Wings of Fire

Gravity Falls

Back to the Future and Amphibia are pretty interchangeable though. Currently it's BttF but Amphibia was on top for a lot longer before it.

8) Tag nine people

@daryfromthefuture

@alex-a-fans

@cheriboms

@synthsays

@bri-to-the-future

@future-boi

@brinkle-brackle

@odddelorean

@pine-killer55

Hope you guys don't mind, don't feel pressured or anything ':)

[lilxberry]

Fond Of This Dwarf - Thorin Oakenshield

Requested By: @heyitsgarnet​

Hi! I really love your writing! Could I request a Thorin x elf reader who's with the company? He's kind of an doushe to her but then she saves his ass from orcs or something and he's like "oh shit I'm in love." thank yooou! <3

This probably isn’t exactly what you were looking for but I think it’s sweet and does just a good a job. I’m so sorry it took me forever to finish your request, I really wish I could’ve done something for you sooner. Thank you so much for being patient 

Warnings: Probably a bad word somewhere lmao. I guess racism??? Angst. Fluff. Mentions of war and death. Pretty much it, I reckon.

Words: 2,331

Parings: Thorin Oakenshield x Reader (x elf reader) (x female reader)

_______________

How on Middle Earth had Gandalf think adding you to a company that consisted of multiple dwarves were a good decision you’ll never quite know. You’re completely certain that the grey wizard knew of the dwarves hatred for elves, of course he knew, definitely explains the precautions he had taken when introducing you to those who you were to travel to the lonely mountain with.

Luckily, that hatred slowly dispersed as time passed during your journey. All the dwarves had eventually taken a liking to you, apart from the ever grouchy, complacently brooding Thorin Oakensheild. Even Dwalin had begun to be a more civilised dwarf towards you, for Valars’ sake!

The first one to show some form of kindness to you were Balin. Obviously, he had reason to be all sorts of rude and crude towards you because of your race but you figured he has witnessed enough hostility within his lifetime so refused to show any when truly nessicary.

Ori had been next. It took some time considering he was under the watchful eyes and influential words of his older brothers. Fílí and Kílí followed after that and before you knew it, they all began to follow suit.

Needless to say, you and Bilbo had no issues from the get-go. In fact, you were and still are joined at the hip. And Gandalf, well, he’s Gandalf. You’re not even sure he can actually hate anything.

The journey had been long and treacherous, but you were getting closer and closer each day, even with each and every hindrance and snag you faced. Running everyday for survival is outright exhausting but utterly needed, which is what you were currently partaking in.

“I spy-“

Ori was swiftly cut off with a collective groan from the company whilst you and Bilbo shared an amused look, no doubt Gandalf had a similar expression across his face at the front of the group.

“Not again, lad, for the love of Mahal, please.” Dwalin grumbled as he pressed his fingers against his forehead as if trying to sooth a forming migraine. Ori visibly deflates and sighs quietly, looking like a kicked puppy.

“No, go on, Ori. I’ll play with you.” He perked up just as quickly as he had been denied moments earlier. He beamed up towards you as he straightened out his posture.

“I spy, with my little eye, something��beginning with…T!”

“Tree.” The company’s response was almost automatic, the answer as clear as daylight.

You and Bilbo chuckled before you both turned your attention to the dwarf beside you once again looking down and ashamed. “Don’t worry, Ori. I’m sure as we get closer to the lonely mountain, we’ll find more things to spy.” Bilbo’s encouragement was so sweet that you just had to jump in and help brighten the young dwarfs sour mood also.

“Definitely. Don’t get me started about the endless possibilities for ‘I spy’ inside Erebor.” Ori smiled his widest smile towards you and the hobbit as the others chuckled. All finding amusement in your merriment of a silly childs’ game. All except one.

“You humour me how you would think I would allow you to step foot inside my mountain.”

All humour, all happiness quickly faded until there were scowling faces amongst everyone. You furrowed your shaped eyebrows and slowed to a stop and burn holes into the back of Thorins’ head. You shook your head and began to walk once more with haste, shouldering the rude dwarf as you pass him and race ahead of the company.

You wouldn’t admit it, not verbally, not so outwardly, but his words and distain towards you hurt, very much so. Even though Thorin has shown nothing but his dislike towards you, you couldn’t help to admire his strong will, his caring side that he had shown his kin, his handsome appearance-

-‘NO! Y/N, stop it!’ You scolded yourself mentally as you shook your head to rid yourself of those thoughts just as quickly as they had entered your mind once more. He didn’t like you, not your race at least. He made that more than obvious for you and everyone around you.

You sighed inwardly before slowing your strides, allowing the company to catch up to where you had stormed off. You could hear the scolding the few bold enough to do so were giving Thorin, though you knew that the probability of him actually considering of what they were saying were nought.

Someone, who you presumed to be Gandalf, cleared their throat, noting the proximity between you and the group now they have caught up to your small steps. The silence consumed the company as they all sluggishly dragged their feet as they trudged along, awkwardness surrounding each and every dwarf, once again, all except that stubborn royal pain in the jacksie.

“Out of the way, elf.” He spat the name of your kind with such distain and disgust that your heart panged with an immense pain, your chest tightened, your intake of breath quick and sharp. You felt the burning of tears build up within your eyes as he passed you gruffly but refused to let them fall.

You will NOT seem weak in front of people- no, dwarves- like him. Bilbo caught up to walk beside you and places a gentle, comforting hand on to your forearm, smiling up at you sympathetically. The rest of the walk was silent, that was until you all heard the shrill cry of an orcs horn.

_______________

Your lungs begged for air, every inch of muscle within your body burned and longed for rest. Fatigue was catching up with all of you and fast.

“We cannot run any longer, we must stand our ground!” You couldn’t tell if Dwalin was pleading or trying to be demanding with Thorin and Gandalf, all you knew was that his tone was as brass and harsh as usual.

“We can take them, of do you really have such little faith towards your company, Thorin?!” You huffed, clearly just as agitated and enraged as the others.

Thorin halted immediately and swiftly turned on his heel to face you, a deep, raging fire of hatred filled his gaze. He groaned in aggravation and drew his sword, ensuring the others quickly followed suit. You deeply exhaled through your nose and you spun yourself around to face the oncoming threat as you unshouldered you bow and raising it higher.

You withdrew an arrow from your quiver, quickly lining your body perpendicular towards the enemy and drawing the arrow back towards your cheek, staring down the length of the arrow. You exhaled as you released your firm grip and so, first blood had been drawn.

_______________

It was nearing the end of the gruelling battle but in truth, it was difficult to tell, exhaustion taking over every single one of the company. It felt as though the enemy just kept coming, multiplying as you take a singular orc down.

Blood coated you and the others, mainly that of orcs and Wargs alike, dried and cracked. As you took down yet another enemy, you heaved out a shaky breath, exhaling heavily with a slight groan.

You looked towards the others, all seemingly fairing well, all grouped together, all except, you guessed it, Thorin. Two orcs atop their Wargs brought the dwarf down on to the hard, filthy ground, defenceless, weapon astray. He crawled backwards, even that looked like such a struggle for him though.

The Wargs snarled and growled as they closed in on the drained dwarf, the orcs straddled upon their fur coated backs grinning wickedly. As quick as a whippet, you powered through your own exhaustion and pain and sprinted towards the predators closing in on their prey.

You released a cry of anger and frustration as you withdrew your elven sword from its place on your back before bringing it down on to the beasts head, emitting a pained whimper before it fell harshly against the floor, body now limp and lifeless.

The orc that once sat atop the dead creature stood from where it landed next to its Wargs’ corpse with a seething anger and charged towards you. You swiftly cut him down and turned your focus to the final orc/Warg duo all the while Thorin looked on with wide eyes and bated breath, watching you with a new found admiration.

Almost as quickly as the last, you had taken down the enemy and collapsed down to your knees, exhaustion washing over you completely. Your eyes squeezed tightly shut as you inhaled and exhaled heavily in repeat.

“Are you…okay lass?” Balin approached you cautiously as the others watched on, concern and their own tiredness evident on their faces. All you could offer in response was a single nod of your head.

Thorin snapped out of his reverie and slowly came to a stand, but before he could proceed to close the gap between the two of you, you raised to your own feet and began to walk away from the group. “We should keep moving. No doubt another pack or two is a day behind them.”

“Yes, Miss Y/N makes a valid argument. Come on.” Gandalf had gruffly agreed with the statement made from over your shoulder. And with that, the company tiredly trudged further along, leaving behind the corpses of their slain foes and the final dwarves’ disdain towards you.

_______________

“We make camp here.” Thorin’s authoritative command travelled throughout the clearing within trees and into the ears of the company. Pained grunts, relieved sighs and heavy knapsacks thudding against the ground were Thorin’s confirmation that he had been heard.

He dragged his feet as he walked over to lazily slump against the bark of a sturdy tree, exhaling heavily through his nose and closing his eyes, basking in the knowledge that he lives to see a new day. His eyes barely reopen as he scans across each and every member of the company. Or at least, nearly every member.

He luckily caught a smidge of your form disappearing past the treeline and his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Surely you were tired? You had to be from all the walking and fighting you’ve done. Why would you head off away from the others?

With a huff of air, he pushed himself from his leaning position against the sturdy trunk and headed off towards the direction you disappeared in. Thorin kept himself quiet as he walked weaved passed trees, his strides small and light footed. He came to a slight clearing which was perfectly illuminated in the moons light, a heavenly glow across the small, vacant area.

And then he spotted you.

Sat precisely in the centre of it all, eyes softly closed, eyelashes resting on your cheek ever so delicately, the light breeze brushing your hair back from your face, a face that, even though is covered by the dried and cracked crimson smears, looked fair and filled with serenity, a calmness that was affect Thorin in many ways.

He had become so entranced that he hadn’t realised that he walked out into the opening further as he stared, stared at someone who he considered the enemy for far too long, at someone who he now admired, at someone who has kindled a newfound feeling deep within him.

“Are you going to keep standing around like some lemon or are you going to join me?” the sudden sound of your voice actually caused the dwarf to jump ever so slightly, taken off guard. You peeked an eye open, finding the situation amusing at a miniscule amount.

Thorin cleared his throat and wiped his hands down his front with a tinge of nervousness before making his way over and lowering himself beside you, arms rested atop his knees. A silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable passed before he spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

The simple two-word statement accompanied by his deep, gruff voice caused your eyes to widen slightly and snap your head towards the dwarf to your right. “W-what?”

“I’m sorry. For how I acted before. It wasn’t fair of me to judge you based purely off of who, or rather what, they are. I’m greatly disappointed with myself. Please forgive my ignorance.”

You were flabbergasted. THE Thorin Oakenshield, a prideful and stubborn dwarf, was apologising, hell, even begging, for your forgiveness. Thorin must’ve thought you were trying to imitate that of a fish out of water, your mouth opening and closing multiple times as you searched for the right words to proceed.

You recomposed yourself impossibly fast before flashing the sheepish, nerve wracked dwarf in royal blue and furs a kind, sweet, small smile. “It is okay, Master dwarf. It isn’t as if you had no base reason for your hatred towards my kind. Hopefully, like the rest of the company, we may put our bad blood behind us and move forward working together.”

Thorins’ sigh of relief was large and fairly loud, causing for a small giggle to pass your lips. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards and he flashed you the smallest, microscopic of smiles. “I’m glad. Oh, and thank you. For saving me.”

You gazed at him with such a soft and gentle expression that he was certain he could have melted at the sight. “Your most certainly welcome.” You pressed a chaste kiss to his hair covered cheek before ever so gently laying your head atop his broad shoulder. His whole body tensed at the actions before slowly unwinding, leaving him red in the face and bashfully playing with his fingers.

A peaceful, comforting silence quickly engulfed you two as you sat side by side, his arm now loosely wrapped around your waist, basking in the beautiful surrounding area. You weren’t sure how long you two had sat within each other’s embrace, but you weren’t one to rush a nice thing when it presented itself, so you continued in your contented bliss with a dwarf you had grown quite fond of. Fond of indeed.

_______________

.

.

.

.

.

AAYYYYOOOO IS THIS AN UPLOAD??! 

That’s right ya dang bunch of cutie pies, I ain’t dead

My uploading is still extremely slow but I thought, since I’m close to being on top with my college work, I would finally finish this fic

It’s weird and probably makes no sense but it’s the best I can do with the amount of stress I’m enduring ‘cause of college so bare with me peeps

Anywho, I hope you enjoy reading this

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

[moonrainbowfish]

Hello! May I please have a Ship for Lotr, HP and The Hobbit? I'm a Bisexual Neurodivergent Girl, chronically ill with Asthma, and a writer and Artist who sews and draws. I'm also an INFP Aquarius Ravenclaw if that helps! I have a LOT of different hyperfixations, but they commonly include Literature, History, Death & Burial, Agriculture, and a bunch of other stuff. I'm 4' 11", lean body type, with fluffy and wavy brown hair, pale freckled skin, Light blue eyes, and a fashion sense that ranges from Dark Academia-style to wearing a Galaxy Sweatshirt and Shorts. I'm very devoted to my loved ones, highly ambitious, and I'm Hyperempathetic so I care a lot about making people feel happy and loved. Thanks so much!

Harry Potter:

I ship you with: Luna Lovegood!

I gotta say, you definitely radiate the same vibes as her so it didn't take much time before you became best friends and then eventually lovers. You're basically Ravenclaws sweetest couple.

Luna adores you with all her heart. Just like you she's very empathetic and kind so the bond between you two is very deep. She will always be honest with you.

Expect a lot of magical creature hunting when being with her and helping her find her lost stuff. While most of your dates are outside in the fresh air, or the forest she also loves to take you on lots of dates at Hogsmead. I think Luna would find your interests very fascinating!

I'm sure you'd definitely defend her against bullies, if someone would call her "Loony" you would absolutely defend her with all your breath. She loves that you are protective of her and so loving. Luna would totally make you both matching hats for Quidditch kinda like the lion one in the movies. And all in all I gotta say you got yourself in a beautiful relationship with her.

The Hobbit:

I ship you with: Fíli!

Fíli loves to braid and play with your fluffy brown hair, it's so soft and shiny! And your blue eyes are very gorgeous to him! They remind him of a beautiful light blue sky in the summer where one can forget all their worries. Seriously, he just gets lost in your eyes.

Fíli very much admires your ambitious side. It's always a good quality to have and he accepts you and loves you, just the way you are, with your all your good and not so good qualities. He's so proud of you! You're his one, his soulmate, you are perfect to him and he makes sure everyone knows it. But he will never overstep your boundaries and is a very respectful partner.

In my opinion, I think Fíli very much likes your height. You're still taller than him, (I mean he's a dwarf after all) but not by much and that just makes it easier for him to reach your face and kiss all your freckles on your cute face.

He'd spoil you rotten and will buy you all sorts of jewelry, new fabrics, or new art stuff. He enjoys taking you on shopping sprees and the smile on your face when you purchase a new adorable clothing item just brightens up his day!

Lord of the rings:

I ship you with: Elrond!

I definitely see Elrond as a Ravenclaw too. He's quite the intellectual and smart, just like you. Being an INFP means you are a very empathetic, intuitive and creative. You are a good listener and a deep thinker. Qualities which Elrond very much admires about you.

He's definitely very protective of you. He just doesn't want you to get hurt. However, after explaining to him you are very much capable of defending yourself he loosens up a little. He just would never forgive himself should something bad ever happend to you. But he will always be gentle with you and make sure you are comfortable.

You're interested in history and literature? That's great! Please tell him more! Elrond loves to hear your facts and stories about them! It's quite fascinating! He loves sharing knowledge with you and expanding his consciousness. Having any kind of conversation with you is very intriguing to him. He likes to spend all of his afternoon simply listening to you and being around you in general.

I hope you like it! Thanks for requesting!

xoxo

-Freya

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E72

A little out of order, but irresistible, to write The Rise of Fjord. Masterpost here.

-15 to Nott/Spelling So sure, the local Felderwin spelling bees probably didn’t see the word “Eldritch Blast” crop up all that often, but still—G? That’s almost as bad as Fjord’s new pronunciation!

+4 to Caleb/Essik as Caleb stalls for times to talk to the Fancy Wizard, promising to keep in touch, and the Fancy Wizard again pulls his Extremely Helpful “Should you require anything” business, which is, Perilously Close to a Princess Bride-style “As you wish.” Point loss for hurrying off and ditching the Nein at the first opportunity, the rude bastard

+4 to Nott/Jester for Jester defending Nott from Caduceus when he advocates for knocking her out and dragging her underwater with them, the son of a bitch.

+19 to Caleb/Jester as these two prove they are absolutely that couple who wears matching outfits all the time, or in this case, matching polymorph birds. When talking proves difficult, seriously considering mating rituals as a vehicle of communication (communicating Inner Feelings, we should say) “Thanks, Caleb,” which is always a point earner, Caleb advocating for a ghost book club with Jester and Jester agreeing, not to mention these two bookworms going gaga over the one (1) book in the Dust library, for ever so slightly different reasons. Not to mention, they are also Absolutely that couple that feeds each other, as they almost tune out the rest of the party being sweet over the bead of nourishment.

+17 to Dust/Stone/Clay as we abide by that most ancient of Shipping laws, “Fucking Until Proven Innocent”

+27 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester One doctoral candidate in the lab pointed out that both Caleb and Jester are confirmed Recipients of Fjord Winks, not to mention the iconic line “You caught on, and you’ve known me the longest,” meaning these two! Set apart for Fjord! AND, Jester immediately trying to feed Fjord the bead of nourishment after nearly giving everyone cavities with Caleb sweetness, AND, Jester and Caleb both Supporting Fjord In All He Does re: breaking up the ice, making it easy for him to see underwater or keeping him warm while he does it…That’s Love. How Caleb knows without even asking that the one person besides himself most willing to give up their magical items for Fjord is Jester Lavorre. Melora be praised, they all just deserve to be happy together, don’t they???

+9 to the Mighty Nein/Patriotism for Nott, Caleb, and Jester turning themselves red white and blue for their mountain journey

+17 to Jester/Caduceus “I admit it, you were right,” Caduceus says, radiating Longsuffering Partner Vibes. Giving Jester Resistance #BuffingIsALanguageOfLove, Caduceus wishing Jester would say the Wildmother is the coolest more often and Jester begrudgingly admitting she’s all right if not as great as the Traveler when converting Fjord proves unsuccessful. Caduceus being Very Into Jester’s porn reading, as well as her theory of the Dust/Stone/Clay orgy. Caduceus instructing Jester in the Ways Of Politeness by saying people like sending better “when they can picture your beautiful face.” I mean???? That’s flirting?????

+40 to The Mighty Nein/Ghosts with far too many members of the Nein thinking about ghost dick, Avantika showing up to ogle at Fjord, and in general all of the ghosts being big smut book fans.

+39 to Caduceus/Fjord !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These two!!!! Fjord sticking by Caduceus at all times and wanting to do what Caduceus wants! Saying Caduceus is “inspiring!” Thanking him for being himself!! Caduceus saying Fjord will do great things!! The healing! Dropping the accent! Caduceus thinking the whole trip was worthwhile, just for Fjord! Melora! Insisting Fjord learned a new power, that he is valuable as he is!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! PICKING FJORD UP AND TAKING HIM AWAY TO REST, COMPLIMENTING HIS VOICE FOR BEING CHARMING SkhfhkadjkfafbjsfbjkKAADBADB

+6 to Caduceus/Nature as the trees give him The Nod.

+35 to Fjord/Jester THERE IS EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY IN THIS HOUSE 2NITE. I mean, besides making sure Fjord is Warm and Fed and Safely Carried Around (and the writing of Friendfiction), besides “you’re affable” and laughing at Jester’s porny mind and telling Jester to just do what she does being herself, besides Tusk and Accent Complimenting, Fjord…..voluntarily starts talking about Vandran, and has Jester call him? And Jester reassures him when the response isn’t exactly what he expected? They bond over how their worlds are getting bigger than they thought possible, the wish sometimes to just break away and find some peace, the knowledge that if they did decide to break away, that they would follow each other?? Fjord telling Jester how he lost his powers! Willing! To admit to weakness with her! Jester giving Fjord both her magical weapons, fuck it. Point loss because Fjord really is just never going to convert to the Traveler no matter how Jester tries.

+4 to Caleb/Cat Shaped Creatures for having Frumpkin keep him company while he did some Spring Cleaning on his coat situation.

+28 to Caleb/Fjord These two and their….hands. Mein Gott. Just….a lot of intense hand business (Hand Job?) happening over here again, not to mention the Symbolism of Caleb giving up some of his fire, that dangerous thing he didn’t want anyone to use, giving up that item that he and Fjord had both wanted way back in the beginning. The peculiar rightness of everyone handing their items over to Caleb to give to Fjord. Not to mention going on about Fjord’s Skills, the trying to look like Caleb, the “Some are better” accompanied by a Wink, the “What else have you got?” the “Maybe later.” Hahaha. Ha. Point loss for Fjord saying Caleb should stop reading so many books--even said jokingly the concept is Heresy and Unacceptable.

+40 to Nott the Best Detective Agency/Detective Work for making the connection between the green glass of Caduceus’ visions and the residuum they picked up on a previous Case. Now that….that is some detectiving, godsdamn.

+7 to Nott/Yeza as Nott wants to draw on her husband’s alchemical skills to figure out how to make purified glass out of residuum! See, you should just take him with you everywhere, like a potion-making Bodahn Feddic!

+20 to Nott/Fire Powers as, with two words, she set Fjord on fire and reduced him to a smoldering corpse.

+12 to Beau/Jester as Jester once more sees through Beau’s “I’m totally fine I’m not suffering AT ALL” act to give her the rod of handwarming, Beau talking about how much she loves the ocean (and being quick to call the ghosts Jester’s fans), Jester scooping up Beau in eagle form and saving her from plummeting to her death! Point loss because Jester dropping her may have been the reason Beau was plummeting in the first place, and being jostled around until you throw up is Not A Fun Date.

+13 to Caleb/Caduceus as Caduceus turns in adorable confusion to Caleb to define “alchemical” and gets the most sweetly straightforward response, the two of them as usual being on the Same Page when it comes to the necessity of polite behavior, and continuing their ongoing, understated Feud on who is going to have the right to feed the group. For once Caleb comes out on top (ha,) as Caduceus is caught unprepared with his spellwork and therefore cannot yet make Holy Breakfast on the Anvil. Caleb once more indicating he secretly believes he lives in a fairy tale, promising to follow Caduceus’ lead because this is “his story”

+6 to Fjord & Caduceus/D.A.R.E as Fjord refuses drugs from Beau saying he doesn’t need them (damn right!), and with Caduceus, who is generally very pro-drug, nonetheless refusing Nott’s suggestion to snort the residuum.

-100000000000000000000000000000 to Fjord/Uk’otoa, but more importantly +5000 to Fjord/Channeling His Inner Hobbit as he manages to overcome his own need for power to throw the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom—I mean, Summer’s Dance into the lava of the Kiln. The man one-upped both Percy and Frodo, hot damn.

[poptod]

Decay (Elliot Alderson x Reader)

Description: There’s not really a logical way of dealing with being stuck in a fantasy world with no idea how you got there and no way to get back. Luckily, Elliot gets an annoyingly helpful sidekick. 

Notes: so heres that fantasy fic i talked about. at least the first part. i really like it but it’s (i’ll acknowledge it) pretty badly written and just... an out of the ballpark idea in a not good way. I should also warn that I still have not watched Mr. Robot so the characterization will probably be a little OOC. gender neutral but you DO have a name. 

If people don’t like this, I will be removing it and won’t update it, though I will spend a decent amount of time finishing the story, even if it won’t be posted anywhere. Only because I personally really like writing it. 

Word count: 3.6k

Chapter One

Through a strangled groan he brought himself to consciousness, warm light burning through his eyelids as he attempted to open them. Beneath his fingertips leaves and needles crinkled, pressed into the dark earth as he curled his fingers inward, forming fists against the forest floor. The sickening spinning of the world began to slow, and the shadow blotting out a cloudy sky took sharper form. For a moment he wasn't sure if he was alive anymore - maybe that was the dull pain thudding all throughout his body. But something poked him, not gently but not harshly, and though his eyes begged to be closed again, he kept them open.

"Oh so - no... wait, there you are. I think. Hello? Is anyone in there?"

Now he really wanted to close his eyes. A small groan even left him, which did nothing for the silence he craved, as the voice began to talk even louder.

"I can see you breathing. You should be thankful, other people would've just eaten you," came a nasally voice, soft and high. The words drove a spike of anxiety through his heart, and with that his eyes flew open, coming face-to-face with a smile. He jumped back, sitting up as you stared at him.

"Who are you," he asked in a monotone voice, unable to look away. There was a sort of... hobbit-ish look about you, what with the long, earthy robes and the no shoes. A hat sat upon your head, the rim fluffy white and the body brown, dipping down to your shoulders, where a hood lay. Despite your rather large choice of clothing, you were somehow small, indicated only by the belt wrapped around your waist, announcing your actual size. Your vest was green, pine green to match the brown button down. Up and down your bare skin bandages were tied, some brown and red and others clean - at the little visible skin you had, it was clear it was scarred and scabbed.

"My name is Djano!" You said, grasping his hand and pulling him further up. Immediately he shook himself free, still alarmed by this apparent Djano. Tilting your head curiously, you asked, "what's your name, then?"

"... Elliot," he answered slowly, still unable to tear his eyes away from the sight. Perhaps you were an odd cosplayer, but that still wouldn't explain his random appearance in a forest, and you were horribly short for someone who didn't have dwarfism.

"Well then, Elliot," you said, leaning away with a smile, "it's nice to meet you. Where do you hail from?"

"I..." he looked away, wondering what he could say. "New York?"

"Never heard of it. Is it nice there?"

What he wanted to say was 'how do you not know what New York is,' but instead what he said was, "not really."

"I see why you left. But how'd you end up like this?"

"Like... what?"

"This," you gestured vaguely to his persons, and as he looked down he found nothing wrong. His usual sweatshirt and pants. He even had his shoes.

"There's... wh.. this is what I normally wear," he stuttered, his voice growing quiet when confusion spread across your face.

"Must be cold in the winds," you said, poking him with a large walking stick you carried, the carved golden tip jabbing his stomach. Like netted honey that glowed in sunlight, a crystalline ball encircled the top of your staff, a small flower growing right beneath it.

As he looked back at you, your eyes seemed abnormally large. Not enough to draw attention - only enough to leave questions, and to be fair, he had plenty to begin with. Something about where he was was unnatural, not just your eyes either. The trees were a little too large, a little too lively, the wind a little too shrill - maybe this was all a bad trip. His quick excuse crumbled apart when you poked him again and there was a clear soreness in his waist. Either way, he would have to fight his way back to consciousness; his brain had a habit of wanting to escape his body.

"Listen, um, kid, I don't.. I don't know where I am and you're not really helping," he said with a grunt as he stood, brushing his pants off, the seeds and pines falling down. You shot up to stand beside him, following him when he began to walk in a random direction. In front of him mountains towered, the cliffs a little too jagged in a too-blue sky.

"I'm not a child. And I can be helpful. Hey," you poked his side again, this time with a stubby finger, "I'm older than you, I bet."

He looked you up and down.

"No you aren't."

"I am! You're a human, right? Humans have a pretty short lifespan, most of them that I've met, that is," you said confidently, a spark that sickened him. This had to be a bad trip. No one in real life would say something like that with so much confidence. Then again, there were some really weird people on the internet that he wouldn't put it past... and there were some undeniably strange happenings. Hallucination or not, he would have to deal with this.

"Can you just tell me where I am?" He asked impatiently, turning to face you with clenched fingers.

"We're in the Trollbear forest. Wow," you looked him up and down judgingly, not entirely unlike the way he'd done to you just moments earlier, "you must've really gotten mixed up."

"Trollbear?" He questioned, the name cheesily fantastical in a way he could never bring himself to appreciate.

"Yes. If you'd like I could tell you about them, since you seem to be pretty forgetful," you offered, sweetly helpful, but he still could not bring himself to be serious.

"No," he said firmly. "I just need to find my way back to my home. Since I can't wake up." He mumbled the last part under his breath. Turning back around, he faced a long forest, and headed off in the opposite direction of the mountains.

"I've got a map. If you can remember where New Orc is, I might be able to help you," you suggested, already digging into your bag. Irritated with your voice and your insistent offers to help him, he stopped walking and turned to you, the words losing their voice as he saw your staff floating in mid-air.

"Oh... um," he tried to say, at a loss for what to say, and now having no excuse to be rude to you anymore.

"See here," you said, grabbing four small stones from your bag and placing them on separate parts of your map, which was strangely circular. "We're right here," you pointed to a green part of the map, the top of a large continent, "in Trollbear. Do you have any general idea as to what land form your home is on?"

"Um..." he blinked several times, wondering what he could say. "It's... near an ocean."

This had to be a really bad trip.

"Warm or cold weather?"

His eyes darted from the map to you, your innocent and gullible face and your slightly-too-large eyes, and found himself unable to lie.

"I, um... I don't think it's on this map," he mumbled, wishing a quieter tone would make you understand what he meant.

"So you're an unearthly? Or I suppose you could be a dwelver," you said, stroking your chin thoughtfully.

"I don't know what those are," he blurted out. Surprisingly, you withheld judgment.

"An unearthly is someone who doesn't belong to the land. They belong somewhere far away, usually in the skies, but there's tell of other lands across the seas. Dwelvers live below the ground," you explained, using a variety of hand gestures that meant very little to him, and might've only confused him further had he been paying attention to them.

"I guess unearthly qualifies better," he said, feeling all the while like the only 'strange' thing in this land.

"Good news and bad news then," you said as you folded your map up, tucking both the stones and the paper back into your bag. He waited for you to continue, but you did not, standing beside him and saying absolutely nothing.

"... what's the bad news?" He asked, hesitant to think he even wanted to know.

"There's pretty much no way for you to get home," you said cheerfully, smiling bright as your hands clasped together. His eyes darted to you and to the trees as he wondered how in the hell you could be so chipper.

"And the good news?"

"I found you! Wouldn't've been good if you were here after dark, all alone, no idea as to where you are," you tutted, shaking your head as though he'd made a childish mistake.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked as a sudden fear pulsed through him, the sun touching the tips of distant mountains.

"There's a reason it's called Trollbear forest," you told him like a secret, leaning in slightly closer as the two of you walked side by side. He took a small step away from you. "Trollbears aren't something to be trifled with. We're going to die if we don't make it into the mountains."

"What?" The threat of death was in itself alarming, but the idea of a creature called a trollbear was much more so. Then a thought crossed his mind - why would you be telling the truth? and so he asked, "why should I even trust you?"

"You can trust me or the trollbears."

"They might not even exist."

"Fair point, but I can't do much to you. You're gonna let yourself be scared of someone half your height?"

You came up to a little above his elbow, but half was about right. And you had a point, but he saw you do some sort of magic with the staff you carried, some sort of levitation, and things were beginning to feel a tad overwhelming. He couldn't blame himself - well, he could, and he did, but he shouldn't have. Just stay together, he told himself, and he promised he'd get through it. There was little to do but live in the moment, and for the moment as annoying as you were you were his only source of information, and thus his only safety. So he had to trust you, unfortunately.

Looking down at you, his gaze torn from the sharp cliffs of the mountains, you looked the positive image of a forest dweller. Maybe you were a wizard, he mused, before thinking I wouldn't get lucky enough to meet a wizard. He decided you were more likely a dwarf-like creature.

"Tell me about them," he asked in a low voice, quiet and only mildly irritated. Immediately you brightened even further (if that was possible), and began a spiel that filled the time.

"I've only ever met one of them, a runaway from their pack, something like that - they're all rather solitary creatures when it comes to meeting others and new people. Probably adds to their aggressiveness... anyways. This one was a really interesting story, because trollbears rarely break from their family if ever, so you have to have a really good reason for it since you can't ever return. At least that's what they said, so if you trust their word, that's how it is."

You had a complicated way of speaking that was, to be honest, a little hard to follow, but he managed. Half ignoring you and half listening, he absorbed the bare minimum of the information you gave. Throughout the one-sided conversation he plucked a few snippets of importance; they were large, predatory, and a hellish mixture between troll and bear, which he had already assumed. They came out at night, and took patrolling their perimeters to the extreme - death to any stranger in their territory. Other trollbears included.

"Wait," he paused you mid sentence, "if it’s so dangerous, why are you here?"

"Oh," you smiled brilliantly, clicking your tongue and digging into a side pocket in your jacket, more of a gaping hole than a pocket. "Mushrooms."

"... mushrooms," he clarified, knowing that he shouldn't've been shocked at that point.

"Well not just mushrooms," you said with a small laugh, tucking them away. "I double my trips up, makes it much more efficient. I'm here for the mushrooms, but I was where I was for the seashells, and I was going to go to the cliffs for ocean slate, but now I'm on my way to the mountains, which have loads of Kereny feathers which go for a lot in Eiyne."

"I didn't understand half those words," he told you bluntly, to which you just shrugged.

"Learn or die, old man," you said with a shrug.

"I have a feeling I'm going to dislike you a lot," he gritted out, staring pointedly ahead as he tried desperately to ignore you.

"That's alright. Either way you still need me, and I like having travel friends."

Side by side the two of you continued onwards, you prattling about the various things which were commonplace in your world, most of them a completely foreign concept to him. If he cared he might've understood, but he didn't, and thus he remained in the mystery of where am I, who is this, am I safe, an endless cycle of questions and no answers, at least none that he fully processed. Instead he was caught up in his own thoughts, watching the grey mountains grow slowly closer with each step he took. As he looked up, the sky remained unchanged - a blue a little too vibrant. Overhead birds flew circles around them, perhaps waiting for their remains, should they encounter a trollbear.

"- but that's enough about me. Where are you from? What's it like there?" You said, the ending of your spiel marking a moment he would need to concentrate on conversation. He stayed silent for a good long while, wondering how he could explain the nuances of a modern world, and knowing his silence would probably kickstart your disinterest in him. Unfortunately for him, it was one of those times where the other person was completely understanding and waited patiently for his reply.

"It's cold and there's a lot of people," he finally answered, almost too quiet, but you managed to hear.

You began to reply, but it was cut short by you almost stumbling off a cliff. Before you could even think to scream he grabbed you by the collar, pulling you backwards till your back collided with the ground, and he looked at you, shocked.

"How the hell are you still alive?" He asked seething, judging your clear inability to navigate the woods.

"A lot of luck and friends like you," you answered, too chipper for a question aiming to be cruel.

"I'm not your friend."

"No, I'm not your friend. You're mine though. I can choose who is my friend but I can't choose who thinks of me as a friend. You know, one time," you stood up and looked down the wide ravine, "there was this rather annoying fella who just wouldn't shut up and he told me that we were friends, but I didn't want him to be my friend. So he told me that I would be his friend but he wouldn't be mine. I ended up getting into a fistfight with him in a birds' nest."

"Can you just shut up? We're still in the fucking forest and the sun's setting, I think we've got more important things to deal with than your past grievances," he hissed, dragging you away from the cliff's edge to speak to you more directly, looking you in the eye as he essentially insulted you.

"Don't worry, I've got it under control!" You said with wide eyes, probably the first time you ever seemed even remotely hurt by him.

As you spoke the words the ground began to shift, rumbling from somewhere deep in the earth, and this was the only time he ever saw fear in your eyes. Your grip tightened around your staff as your eyes grew to the size of your ears (which were rather large), and your stance took on a much steadier hold.

"On second thought, we need to go now," you stammered, going to the cliff edge and teetering there, before grabbing a large rope out of a hidden bag and tying it to a nearby tree.

"What are you doing?" He asked, confused as to why an earthquake would upset you so drastically.

"The sun's setting, we need to go. Fortunately," you began to swing the other end of the rope around, "mountains should be on the other side of this. I don't think that area belongs to any tribe, so we should be safe, but you should get your knife out just in case."

"My knife?" He made to stand beside you, watching with furrowed brow as you lassoed onto a large tree branch, tightening it until the knot would never break.

"Don't tell me you haven't got a knife," you said with a grunt, tightening the rope one last time until you grabbed it. Holding on with both hands, you dangled over the ravine, slowly moving towards the other side.

"What the -"

You'd used levitation before. He saw that, it had to be real, so why use a rope? His heart beat harsh in his chest as he imagined dropping his weak hold on the rope, plummeting down into the current below.

"Come on, you want to get eaten? I think not," you said, somehow still humorous in what was something Elliot would categorize as a dire emergency.

"Can't - can't you just levitate? I saw you doing it earlier, that - that seems safer," he said hesitantly, his eyes bulging as he watched your grip almost loosen.

"I can't levitate what I can't lift and trust me, I can't lift you," you said, now at the other side. With a great heave you pulled yourself up, standing at the other edge, waiting for him to move.

He stepped forward, heart racing as his feet began to numb. Though he knew what to do, he questioned if he could bring himself to do it, or if he even wanted to - maybe if he died, he'd wake up. As the sun set behind the mountains the rumbling of the earth stopped, and with one last glance behind him and one to your encouraging smile, he grabbed the rope, and let himself dangle.

This is the stupidest thing I've ever done, he thought to himself, ignoring the various other stupid things he'd done in his lifetime. With as much care as he could muster he made his way across, the burn in his arms stretching him beyond belief. Throughout his little venture he did not look down, courtesy of your advice, and at the end you grabbed his hand and helped him up.

"You know, I can't actually levitate things," you said, panting slightly at the exertion. With your hand, you untangled the knot on the other side, the rope drifting serenely over till you had both ends in your bag. "I just have this ring. It's a magician's ring, they're a bit of a novelty and can't do much, but it's fun to have anyway. One of my friends gave it to me when she visited Chester."

"Right," he mumbled, trying to catch his breath.

"Are you alright?" You asked, tilting your head curiously as you scrutinized him.

"I'm fine, I just - it's... it's a lot to take in," he answered quietly.

"I understand. We can settle at the base of the mountains, I'll make you some tea. It's sort of special tea, it's supposed to calm you down - it certainly works on me," you said with your always-present smile, leading him onwards.

Besides your stature, there was something off about you - your stride too long, your step too lively, but he knew not to be suspicious of you. You were nothing if not innocent, a characteristic he simply wasn't accustomed to.

Maybe he needed to start being nicer to you.

+

It's cold, but not unbearably so - her jacket keeps her warm anyway, and as she bundles the soft material in her hands, she thanks her past self for remembering to wear it. The fingerless wool mittens she sports help as well, despite how itchy they are. Foot bouncing up and down, she bites into her lip, waiting for any news. Any news at all.

The world doesn't feel quite real. Not to her, in the least; there's people outside, people on the sidewalks talking on their phones, holding hands with their friends, carrying luggage and bags, and it's one of those moments where you can't help but imagine every person's life. Maybe it will make her feel better, to put herself into someone else's life - if only for a moment. Only a temporary solace. But it's better to face your own reality than lie in someone else's, and she knows this, and she grinds her teeth and bites her cheek and digs her nails into her legs. Stay grounded, she tells herself, unable to speak the words aloud, fearful any movement will bring an untimely end.

It's the first time Elliot has looked in any way peaceful. The tightness in his muscles is gone, but the marks of their long-lasting stress remain, streaks and tiny lines around his eyes and mouth. The beeping of the heart monitor keeps its steady pace, and for a single moment she convinces herself maybe everything will be alright. Maybe Elliot won't overdose again, maybe he'll get better, maybe he'll finally take care of himself, but it's useless hope. She knows it’s useless hope, but still she prays it isn’t. 

"Come back to us, Elliot."

[avaria-revallier]

Chapter 4: Of family and tea

Bella was feeling miserable. She is wet -drenched- to her very bones. Her hair nothing more than a soppy mess and her soaked clothes glued to her skin. The first few hours the rain had been a comfortable change. It had been refreshing. Well, it wasn't any more. After three days of continuous rain her mood had hit rockbottom. The dwarrows were no better. None of them had talked to her since and even Bofur hadn't told any joke in a while. The only hope Bella had left was the knowledge that the sky would be clear once lunch-time had passed. 

Annoyed she brushes another wild curl out of her eyes. This kind of weather was really the worst for her hair. Taming the golden-brown curls was a quest on its own when the weather was good, but the humid air made it almost impossible to keep them in any kind of braid. Frustrated she opens her ponytail for the sixths time this day and redoes her hair. She binds them as tight as she could manage without hurting herself in the progress.

As predicted the sky clears a few hours later. Thorin stops the ponies near a large overhang. All of them were thankful for the break. The rain had washed away their enthusiasm and the cold meals were no joy either. Stiff she walks over to Gloin and Bombur who were starting to lite a fire. Bella wasn't sure how they even managed to produce more than smoke with the wet wood. Shivering she hugs her knees, drawing her legs closer to her body. Something heavy and very, very warm was thrown over her shoulders, covering her entire body. 

Peeking out from under the large coat she could see Dwalin. The tattooed warrior was standing to her right side, looking down on her. His arms crossed and a blank expression on his face he just stared at her. Dwalin could stare down almost anyone he wanted. Most people even actively avoided his gaze. 

The little hobbit lass on the other hand openly looked at him. She even sometimes searched for him while looking around and smiled as soon as he returned her look. It was confusing. How could such a tiny little creature withstand his stare when even men and steeled warriors avoided him? She was one strange lass. Not complaining, not demanding a break when she obviously was exhausted enough to fall asleep while riding. She did all the tasks Thorin had given her without a word of complain. He had seen her giggling with the young princes, laughing at Bofurs silly jokes and excitedly trade receipts with Bombur. It was strange and fascinating at the same time to observe the many faces she could make, to witness how she laughs in one moment and is serious in the next. Even now she didn't fail to impress him. Shivering next to the fire, looking more miserable than a cat that had been thrown into a river and still, not complaining. Before he himself even knew what was going on his coat was draped around her shoulders. Underneath his clothes she looked even smaller. With big green eyes she stares up at him. He returns the look, carefully not to let his expression slip. He felt better as soon as she stopped shivering, he realised. They looked at each other for a few more awkward moments. Her big honest eyes piercing him, as if she could look into his very soul. Dwalin was the first one to look away. This was a premiere!

"We don't want you to catch a cold." he declared.

"Thank you, master Dwalin. Aren't you cold now?" she replied in a worried tone.

He looked down at her once again. Only true concern was to be found in her eyes. Later on Dwalin would name this particular moment as the start of ‘the whole damn misery’. Bella tilted her head a bit when he didn’t answer.

“No worry, mistress Baggins, we dwarrows run hotter than other races.” And with that the conversation was ended.

Bella separated herself from the group after they had build up their camp for the night and tiptoed to the near tree-line. Bifur was the only one watching her. She signed him to keep quiet about it by holding one finger on her lips. The first few days she hadn’t had any opportunity as there had been no cover. The rain had interrupted her training for the last few days, but now she could finally continue. Yavanna knew she would need it soon enough. 

Hanging her waistcoat on a nearby branch she stepped into the clearing. Trees and bushes sheltered her from unwanted spectators. In one hand she holds her walking stick, in the other a smaller branch with the rough shape of a sword. Taking on a stable position she breathes in and out to calm her nerves and heartbeat. First she rehearsed the fundamental steps of blocking an attack from above, below and either sides. Next she changed her strategy from blocking to attacking and then combining those two.

“Where is the hobbit?” Bofur was the first one to notice their burglars absence. A small panic, followed by chaos erupted as all the dwarrows looked around, searching the camp for any usable hints where she could have gone. Bifur and Nori where the only two still sitting by the fire.

Dwalin spotted his cloak neatly folded at the end of his bedroll. He frowned at the sight of it. He hadn’t had the impression that she would reject his offer, maybe he should have clearly declared the coat as a gift, instead of just handing it over to her. Well, he would have to do better next time before one of the other dwarrows would snatch his chance away.

“Her backpack and bedroll are still here. She wouldn’t have wandered off without it, would she?” wondered Bombur.

The cook of the company had grown quite fond of the lass. Dwalin had seen them chatting for hours and hours about food and methods on cooking chicken and lamb and stews and what not. In fact they all had grown quite fond of the gentle little creature. She had been becoming a solid part of their company. Even if Thorin still mutated into a stone-headed idiot as soon as she looked in his direction or came near him. Dwalin could perfectly understand that trusting a stranger was not easy, but she had welcomed the company in her home and left said home to reclaim theirs. She willingly came on a quest to potentially be eaten by a dragon for Mahals sake! He clenches his hands into fists.

“I am going to look for her, she wouldn’t have gone far.” Dwalin grunted, stomping off to the trees.

Bifur abruptly stood up and follows Dwalin into the shady forrest. They hadn’t had to look for too long. Dwalin and Bifur found Bella on a small clearing, performing a fearful dance of destruction. Her staff in one hand and a -very poorly made- wooden sword in the other she spins over the ground. One step back, two forth, her feet barely touching the grass and moss. Jabbing, stabbing and slashing invisible opponents, while blocking attacks from all sides. It was rather beautiful to watch, Dwalin admitted, still frightening at the same time. Bifur next to him seemed to enjoy himself as well. His gaze wasn’t as clouded as on other occasions while he watched their gentle hobbit slashing the air.

Dwalin wasn’t sure how to announce their presence without startling Bella. Bifur took the decision from his hands as he clapped enthusiastically when Bella dodged a low swing by crouching down and forcefully stabbing her sword up.

For a second Bella froze in her very motion. She hadn’t expected any other sounds than the whispering of the trees around. The loud clapping took her by surprise. Before she could even comprehend what was happening her instincts kicked in and she threw the wooden sword in the direction of the sound. Back on her feet she looks over to the two figures in the shadows. With burning cheeks she realises that it had been Dwalin and Bifur who fell victim to her poor attempt of an attack. Bifur had the wooden sword in his hands, examining it. He only grunted at the pathetic try of carving a weapon.

“How long have you been standing there?” Bella asks breathlessly.

“Longer than you’d like I’d imagine.” Dwalin crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking down at her.

Bifur said something in rapid Khuzdul, waving the sword around, before he simply broke it apart and throws the pieces over his shoulder.

“I need that to train!” she argued.

“I agree with Bifur on this, you can hardly call that thing a weapon, neither can you train properly with that.”

Bifur nods furiously, gesturing towards her and Dwalin. Bella could only frown as he once again let loose a wave of Khuzdul.

Dwalin is amazed and utterly confused. She is a hobbit, there was no doubt. From her furry feet to her slightly pointy ears over the beardless face and the golden curls. A hobbit. A gentle creature… Well, sort of.

“Where did you learn to fight, lassie?”suspicious he watched her taking another swig out of her bottle.

Bofur sat beside her, eagerly carving a small wooden sword. Dwalin preferred to stand, arms crossed and starring once again down on the confusing creature. In this moment he realised that he knew close to nothing about her. They had been traveling together for a few month now and he knew her name and well… not much more. He could judge her character by observing her, that he could. She was forgiving, to an extend that he would consider it a weakness. She was fond of food and eating, also of talking about food. He had seen her talking to Ori too, so he could assume that she liked to read and held a great deal of knowledge. Without a doubt she was brave, as she didn’t hesitated to tell the dwarrows if something bothered her, but she never complained about minor things. All in all she was a confusing creature.

“You could say a dear friend taught me.” There was no hint of a lie in her expression, only a shadow of pain and grief over her face.

Bella averted her face from the dwarrows while speaking. Painful memories chased each other. The smell of blood seemed to once again linger in the air while cries of pain and sobs of grief filled the forrest. A shiver ran down her spine.

‘Not this time, definitely not this time. I will save them even if it takes my all!’

A large hand squeezes her shoulder and brings her back into the present. Glancing up she meets Dwalins eyes. In there she could see the same pain that hunted her. Of course the warrior would understand her, even thought she didn’t say any more about it.

In her last life Dwalin had trained her mercilessly after fighting Azog. She never knew if it was a command Thorin gave or if the dwarf pitied her for not being able to fight.

‘Maybe’ a small part whispered ‘maybe he wanted you to be safe?’

“Here, I made it with my own two hands.” He holds up a small dagger, silver vines ranking over the knob. “It will protect you when I cannot.”

“This is beautiful!” she gasped. “I – I don’t even know what to say, master Dwalin.” Gently she brushes over the delicate ornaments.

Bifur next to her stopped carving to watch them both, a knowing grin on his lips.

“Is it not to your liking?”

Was that a small portion of panic in his voice? Startled she looked up. The big dwarf had taken a step back, scratching his neck while studying the ground with extreme interest.

“What? No!” she cried out, “It is beautiful. I have never seen such a fine blade before. Are you sure to give it to me?”

Finally Dwalin looked her into the eyes. Relief and pride in his gaze he stepped closer, placing both hands on her shoulders and knocking their foreheads together. The impact wasn’t that great, yet the world went dark.

The cheered ‘namad’ slowly died. After knocking their heads together the hobbit lass slumped down, eyes closed. Bile rose in his throat, had he killed his sister? With shaking hands he checked her breathing.

“She is a hobbit, you rockhead.” Bifurs gruff voice reminded him in Khuzdul. “Let Oin check her over.”

Gently lifting the hobbit up they both left the clearing. Bifur carrying her waistcoat and the partly finished sword for practice, while Dwalin held his newly won sister, his gift for her and the staff she used earlier. Halfway to the camp they met Bombur and Bofur. Dwalin hurried past them without a word, followed by Bifur who signed ‘Rockhead’ to his family.

“She’ll be fine. Just a bit of rest and sleep and tomorrow she'll be better than new.” The healer assured the gathered dwarrows.

Those words took most of the tension from the company. Bombur excused himself to prepare tea if she should wake. Fili and Kili remembered that she had purchased a rather large sack of dried leaves in Bree and went off to get it off of Bellas pack. Dori fussed over the resting hobbit, bringing another blanket and freshening up the wet piece of fabric on her forehead. Balin drags his brother to the other side of the camp, no doubt to give him an ear full for his recklessness. Bofur volunteering to take first watch took Bifur with him, sitting on a log a few feet from Bombur.

This left Thorin, Ori and Nori sitting by their burglar. Dwalin returned after an uncomfortable moment of silence. He fussed over the lass just like Dori before, adjusting the blankets and improvised cushion to make sure she would lie comfortable. This was the first time Thorin had seen his friend so worried. He notices a small dagger laying at the halflings side. After staring a while at it he recognised it as Dwalins. Nori, who had followed his kings gaze spotted the dagger as well. He knew of all the valuable belongings of the company, how else could he call himself spymaster?

“A very nice gift,” Nori chimed half mocking half serious, “not the best choice if you wanted to court her though.”

Thorins guts froze at the mocking words. He kept his face unmoved although the sheer thought of Bella courting another- wait he didn’t even care for her! There was nothing attractive about that gentle creature. Not her hazelnut curls that looked like rivers of gold in the firelight, not the way she laughed at Bofurs jokes, or slightly frowned while exchanging knowledge with Ori. It wasn’t cute how she smiled in her sleep and most definitely it wasn’t attractive when she stood up to him or scolded his nephews when they pulled another silly prank on Ori.

“Watch your tongue, thief! She is my sister by right, as she accepted my gift. She even said she had never seen a better one.” The warrior snarls at Nori. A silent sight of relief escapes the king while he watches Nori standing up, hands raising in surrender and joining Bombur by the fire.

Thorin watches Dwalin changing the wet cloth with the uttermost care. A small red bump decorated her forehead. He winced at the sight of the injury.

“I am not sure that mistress Bella actually knows what she accepted while accepting your gift, mister Dwalin.” Ori murmured absorbed in his journal.

King and warrior looked at him in confusion. The scribe didn’t seem to notice at first and it took almost all of Thorins composure not to jump at Ori and question him in detail about everything he knew about the hobbit.

“What do you mean?” finally- finally Dwalin asked the question burning like hot coals on Thorins tongue.

“W-well… she is a hobbit after all. From what I l-learned they have a different culture. For example walking barefoot and eating seven meals a day. They don’t know the concept of dwarven courting or receiving a gift to forge - to forge a family bond.” At first Ori had hesitated, fidgeting with his hands and looking everywhere but at Dwalin and Thorin. As he ventured further into his acquired knowledge he straightened himself and continued with a firm voice. “I was quite shaken when I had to explain that stone is not simply stone but that there are quite a few differences. She told me then that dirt is not simply dirt even that could be divided into different sections and classes. – Oh, I am sorry. I am sure you wouldn’t want me to bore you with different methods of farming. Where was I… Ah, right.” He clears his throat. If only to gather his thoughts or to built up tension, he definitely succeeded. “Hobbits are friendly folk. They make friends as easy as breathing and it wouldn’t wonder me if she already considered us to be her friends. She might be still politely addressing us all with ‘master’ nonetheless she might have asked me if it would be considered rude to ask us to call her by her name. One of us should explain her the importance of a self made or crafted gift and the honour it brings the dwarf whose gift was accepted.” For a split second the shy scribe met Thorins gaze. Ori flushed bright red, mumbling an excuse and hurrying of to sit by the fire with Bombur and Nori.

It was the first time that the two of them had heard their scribe talk that much in one go.

Thorin grunted displeased. He wouldn’t mind if the young one would have talked a bit more. He wasn’t quite sure if he could trust the hope that had sparked within him. How could the lass consider him as a friend? They barely talked and when they did he usually wasn’t very polite. Well, she just rubbed him in the wrong places is all. Always challenging him with her looks, speaking up when she was displeased. Thorin simply didn’t know how to react, so he spoke to her only when necessary and even then just the bare minimum.

Bellas eyes fluttered open. Groaning she sits up, on hand pressed against her head, the other rubbing her eyes. How long had she been sleeping? The headache almost felt like a hangover. A distant memory of an evening she spend with Bofur, after they had reclaimed the mountain, flared up. They had found the cellars, full of long forgotten wine and liquor. The feeling was quite similar, even if she couldn’t remember drinking any.

“She’s awake!” the one squeaking excitedly was Kili.

Bella only hissed as the loud voice ringed in her ears. The dulled knock was undoubtedly Filis fist on his brothers head. She looked around their camp. Her dwarrows where still here, each and every one of them. For the better part of their journey she had always feared them gone after waking up. Bella hadn’t slept a single night in peace, never more than a few hours before she would sit up and join whoever was on watch.

Fili came over, handing Oin a steaming mug. Proud the blonde prince looked at Bella.

“We mad you some tea! We assumed it would please you.” Openly he smiled at her, giving her also a mug.

“Thank you, that is very thoughtful of you.”hesitating she smiled back, repressing the urge to ruffle through his blonde hair. It was a habit she had brought with her from her last life.

“What kind of tea did you make me?” she asks instead.

“I noticed that you had purchased quite a big bag of dried leafs while we were in Bree, so I came to the conclusion that you must really like that blend of tea. Kili and I thought of trying it too, so we made some for the whole company. We all enjoyed the tea you gave us back in your home. I hope you don’t mind.”

Bella grew paler with each word the young prince stated. Peeking past Fili she could make out Kili in the process of bringing another steaming cup to his lips. She reached out and grabbed one of Filis hidden knives from beneath his jacket – how could he even move with so many weapons on him? – and threw it at the dark haired dwarf, hitting the mug and forcing it out of Kilis hand.

“Don’t any of you dare to take a sip!” she yelled, while her head roared in pain. Nori was the first one to act. A sharp blade was pressed against her throat, before she could blink. Bella didn’t move. While Fili stood up to look after his brother Oin examined the contend of the tea. He waves over Gloin to bring some dried leafs with him.

“By my beard, did you plan on poisoning the dragon with your tea?” the healer asked in confusion.

“What is in it, Oin?” the low growl from behind made her nearly jump. Noris blade was pressed firmer against her skin as she turned to watch Thorin. “Wolfsbane, Oleander and deadly nightshade, also known as Belladonna.” Oin answered honestly shocked.

For a fact, Bella did know that these herbs are poisonous to most races. She had aimed for these herbs because she knew the effect it would have on, well, any other creature than a hobbit. Her plan had been to poison the trolls or at least disable them long enough for the dwarrows to take care of the matter. It wasn’t the best plan, she had to admit, yet better than the outcome in her last life. She didn’t fancy to be used as a handkerchief twice!

“Let her go, thief! She clearly saved Kili and the rest of us from dying.” Dwalin snapped. He didn’t dare to hit Nori as he feared it would drive the blade further into Bellas flesh.

Nori wasn’t even impressed, only when Thorin nodded sharply he slowly let go of her, backing away. In a split second Dwalin was by her side checking for a possible injury through the blade.

“You had me worried, namad.” He blurted, angrily staring at Nori. The thief in question backed further away.

“Namad? What does that mean?” Bella asked.

Confused she looked around, stopping by Balin. The kings advisor sighted. “One matter at a time, lassie. I guess we all have some explaining to do.” He stated, sitting down again.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the camp. Bella decided that there probably would be no better time to talk with them than now. All eyes on her she reached down and takes a deep sip from the tea.

“I agree with master Balin. I may not have told you everything, but I have never lied to you.”

[diversetolkien]

Hey yal! Below is a submissions I received regarding my Eol and Maeglin post. My responses are indented with the grey line! OPs are not!

——————————————————————————————————

First of all, it is absolutely necessary to draw attention to the things you’re drawing attention to. Whether you are “right” or “wrong,” or whether anyone is “right” or “wrong” is beside the point of the argument in my opinion: these issues simply need to be addressed! We need discussion and different points of view and they all need to be considered and we need them now more than ever. There are clear examples that are sketchy to say the very least: good guys are fair-skinned but the evil men ((, Haradrim) are not; orcs, clearly bad guys, are “swarthy” and “slant-eyed”. However, I do believe your point about Eöl and Maeglin on June 10 are off the mark. I believe you get too carried away by the title “dark” and hang your entire argument up on that. As far as I know, there is no textual evidence that Eöl was a dark-skinned elf at all.

Hello there! Thank you for the message. I do want to emphasize that I’ve been incredibly reluctant to answer this. As of resharing my meta I received a terribly racist message from a user on the website, and will tread cautiously with addressing any messages regarding Eol and Maeglin due to that. I completely agree that we do need discussion, and I’m open for it. This is the only way we can progress. But I won’t tolerate blatant racism.

I’m not accusing you of doing such, but for future references I want to make this clear.

While you believe I may get carried away on the aspect of dark or ‘swarth’, I think it may be important to explain what racial coding is, and also to remind you of Tolkien’s history with coding and with people of color. I talked about coding on my twitter, but in short coding is ascribing real world traits to fictional characters.

This includes attributing the historical and social context to the text to prove a point.

We’ve discussed how Tolkien has borrowed from cultures aside from his own, and with The Silmarillion published in the late 70’s, it’s not impossible to see how influence from America and racial influence there have played a role in his writings.

I also wouldn’t call it being ‘carried away’, when, as we both agree, Tolkien has a history of racism directed at people of color.

And at the same time, I think it’s important to note that while you dismiss the possibility of Tolkien considering Eol dark despite the use of swarth, you ascribe swarth to the orcs and their skin tone in the same breath. I don’t see why it’s impossible for the two to mean the same thing. Not when we do have a racist author who grew up in a very racist society already using dark skin to describe evil characers. Not when Eol’s narrative of the brute mirrors that of the orcs (ie: Celebrian and the Orcs).

And regardless if it is explicit or not, Eol is still coded. Again, we know this because we have canon stories that mirror his completely. This being, again, Celebrian and the Orcs.

We can also accept that Tolkien’s constant use of “dark” to describe evil things, and “light” to describe good things comes from a place of racism. So why is there such push back when we analyze that further?

Tolkien was known to ponder about problems, such as missing words in the Germanic languages. The term asterisk-word is coined by August Schleicher for exactly this purpose: words that should have existed in a (dead) language but aren’t recorded and needed therefore to be reconstructed. For example, Tolkien doesn’t have a recollection of how he came upon the word “hobbit” but to make it fit his Legendarium he made the asterisk-word *holbytlan, supposedly an old English word meaning “hole-builders” because hobbit language was akin to Old English. This word doesn’t exist in old English but could (and maybe should) have. Tolkien also wrote a long argument about a particular difficult passage in the Beowulf-poem which you can read in “Finn and Hengest.” Now normally I would never try to talk straight what’s curved, but Tolkien is a bit of a different case as I hope the above examples show.

The case of Eöl is a trick(s)y problem that stems from the “Prose Edda” written by Snorri Sturluson, an Icelandic poet who lived in the 12th century. This is thoroughly explained by Tom Shippey in his essay “Light-elves, Dark-elves, and Others: Tolkien Elvish Problem”. A quick summary is (but one really ought to read Shippey’s essay to understand it) that there are light-elves, dark-elves, dwarves and black-elves in the “Prose Edda.” Germanic scholars such as Nikolas Grundtvig and Jacob Grimm bent themselves in all kinds of shapes to explain the “error” that Snorri made. Are the black-elves the same as the dark-elves? Are both black-elves and dark-elves dwarves? What about twilight-elves? Tolkien pulls all the different strands of this one problem together and called it Eöl the Dark Elf. He could never have done this in an academic work if he wanted to be taken seriously, so his fiction seemed a great outlet to deal with this. Maybe it was all a private amusement because Tolkien never mentioned it as far as I know.

I personally can’t recall Eöl ever being called dark-skinned. He is considered “black” due to the armour he’s wearing made out of the metal galvorn that he made himself after coming into contact with dwarves (which also ties in masterfully with the whole elf-problem, again, see Shippey’s essay), but it’s not skin colour. Eöl was called the Dark Elf because he lived in a place where the sun never came. It was called Nan Almoth, the valley of the star pool, and he loved the stars, and loved to live in the twilight. The twilight-part is important in the above discussion as well.

I understand you are trying to be informative but please don’t be patronizing. Please do not explain to me what I already know. In the future, I will not be answering messages like this again. This is incredibly rude. You are assuming I don’t know about what I made a meta about, and that’s an insult to what I’ve written.

Please read my blog fully before you attempt to whitesplain something I already know. I understand debate, but there is a clear different between wanting to have a healthy discourse, and flat out patronizing me and treating me like a child.

Back the the point; The same, again, can be applied to the orcs. The orcs wear dark armor, were tortured by a creature who is often described as dark, reside in dark areas—but we know clearly that they are coded off of people given the description of them being swarthy.

The same attribute that’s given to Eol. And again, we have a clear historical context and in-canon context. And we know that Tolkien borrows from American history, and that England itself had a huge role to play in that history.

Finally, the citation from the Book of Lost Tales (BLT) where Maeglin is called swart is problematic to me. I think it’s as much proof against your point as it is in favour of it. Many, many things have changed since the BLT was written and turned into The Silmarillion (I mean Sauron was a giant cat at first!). The BLT version of Maeglin being “swart” is a discarded  version and in The Silmarillion, a way later revision, “his skin was white”. I think it would be wrong to conclude Tolkien discarded the swart skin of Maeglin as he realised it was racist. I think he simply hadn’t figured out the elf problem of the Edda when he wrote the BLT.

I think this is all negated by the fact that Tolkien has canonical characters of color, and that they have been coded. I’m having an incredibly hard time wrapping my head around why that’s accepted, yet when it comes to Eol and Maeglin it isn’t. We can accept that Tolkien has a history of racism with people of color, based on evidence far less than what I’ve provided. Maeglin’s light skin can be attributed to the fact that his mother was light. It’s possible to have a dark parent and be born light.  

And regardless if it was changed or not, it’s incredibly important to discuss it due to the fact that it was racist, and deserves to be brought to light.

I want to stress, again, that I think your work and thoughts are important, no matter if I or anyone else agrees or disagrees. It is of the utmost importance to address issues of racism, genderism and any other kinds of ism that is out there. Discussion is what matters!

[powermetalhag]

Digging Deeper

 @alienfuckeronmain​ tagged me in this massive tag meme (Thank you!! I love doing these things). If I tag you, feel free to ignore this if you don’t feel up to doing it/reading it. If you aren’t tagged and want to be, feel free to just say I tagged you ❤

I tag: @flowerkitten @meemimajima @darlingdear @wizards1977 @violet-tea @lickthatbattery @lusamine @misfit-on-a-journey @lampshroomomg @cyrsed @wooden-duck @wildbayou @curse-you @ghostly-rowlf​ @icedchailatte​ @oni-lover​

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? City

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? I’d love to be able to sing and metal-scream really well. I’m trying to learn but I practice pretty inconsistently and it’s an uphill battle bc I don’t have much natural aptitude for it. Also it would be really cool to be a contortionist. 

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I don’t drink coffee. Sometimes I sweeten tea, sometimes I don’t.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? I didn’t like reading books much as a child. When it came to reading novels, my reading comprehension was pretty below average (I think I posted about this ages ago, but when I tried to read Harry potter when I was 7 I couldn’t follow it at all. I somehow thought that Harry and Hagrid were the same character and that Hagrid was just the name for Harry’s Wizard self. My concentration just wasn’t there). I read a lot of manga though. I think my favourites were fushigi yuugi, saint tail, and miracle girls.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hobbit

8. Paper or electronic books? I prefer paper books, but I mostly use electronic ones.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my cloud-print long sleeved mesh shirt

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I used to want to change it, I don’t anymore. 

11. Who is a mentor to you? I don’t think I have one

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I like the idea of creative projects of mine becoming a little bit known, but I’d never want to be famous.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Not really

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I’m probably less romantic than the average person, but in the right situation I can be.

15. Which element best represents you? I associate myself with fire (bc I'm a leo) but in some ways water or air might better represent me. Idk.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Honestly? Pretty much all of my friends. My life is complicated and the severity of my ocd makes me keep everyone at a distance more than I’d like to.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? Everyone who I haven’t seen since quarantine started.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. As young kids my sister and I hated Tracey Sketchit from pokemon so passionately that we would draw his face on the bottom of our feet before going to jump on the trampoline so that we could feel like we were jumping on him

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? When we were little my sister and I would sometimes eat raw dried spaghetti dipped in vegemite when there was no other easy snacks in the house. We called them cardboard sticks. (The food situation in my house wasn’t dire or anything, we were just too lazy to make a sandwich or something lol)

20. What are you most thankful for? I am thankful for the people I have in my life and for the amount of stability i’ve been able to have in my life in recent times.

21. Do you like spicy food? I do, but if I eat it often enough to increase my tolerance to it I get bad reflux. So I remain a spice wimp who can only have mild.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Zakk Wylde, Chris Lilley, and some guy who was on Blue Heelers. Also I spoke to Tracy Grimshaw on the phone once. Meeting Zakk Wylde was funny because I was REALLY weird and embarrassing.

(Long story ahead, feel free to skip) Basically, my friend and I were 16 and wandering through the city high on acid. We saw Zakk standing near Hungry Jacks and became completely captivated by him. We had no idea he was some big famous rockstar, we thought he was just some random guy. I cannot convey to you how intense his presence felt at that time. It was like he was everything that is and ever will be metal but congealed into a human being and magnified by 2000x. (in case you don’t know him, he looks like this)

We were so high that we were very in our own world and felt like we were the only ones who really existed and that everything else was just kinda there for us to observe. So we started following him and discussing him as if he couldn’t hear every word we were saying. 

I remember us being like “He’s the most metal thing i’ve seen in my life” “He’s like Neptune, king of the sea, but a brutal version” “He’s the raw original concept that all other metalheads were disseminated from. He’s the true, the original.” It made sense at the time that he could be the origin point of metal and the first ever metalhead because time and space felt like it existed in a looser way than usual. We were really fixated on the idea that metal was invented through his very existence as a direct expression of self, then people copied him, then people copied those people and so on. The further they got from the source (Zakk) the more diluted the essence became. That’s why being around normal metalheads wasn’t as viscerally overwhelming as being in the presence of the raw undiluted concept. We concluded that no metalheads were actually expressing themselves through their subcultural identity. Unknowingly, they’re just expressing him. And we were saying all of this while walking maybe a metre and a half behind him while he ignored us.

Eventually some of the people he was with noticed we were following him and started talking to us (they may have been members of Black label society or they may have just been friends of his, idk). They were friendly and said that they used to do acid when they were younger too and invited us to get drunk with them. We said yes and walked with them for a little. I don’t think Zakk said a word to us the entire time. He probably found us annoying. But we kept staring at Zakk and getting overwhelmed by how intense it was just to be in his presence. Then me and my friend abruptly turned and left without saying anything because being around Zakk was getting to be too much. It was like a sensory overload. As we walked away we barely heard them yelling back to us “something something something ZAKK WYLDE!”. I was familiar with the name but I’d never known how he looked. I googled him a few days later and learned that it was indeed Zakk Wylde who we met and that he’d been in Brisbane with black label society.

And that’s the story of how I passed up the once in a lifetime opportunity to get drunk with Zakk Wylde because his vibes were off the charts.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? No. Kinda wish I could, but the habit doesn’t stick.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?  Pencil

25. What is your star sign? Leo sun (Virgo cusp), Scorpio moon, Sagittarius rising.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I’d like to have a positive effect on the people in my life and leave art behind that people might enjoy or relate to (I use the word art loosely, I mean any kind of creative project). I think I've become more aware recently of how important that is to me, which is why I've been so uncharacteristically dedicated to finishing my comic.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I like reading books but I don’t always have the attention span for it. I tend to read more non-fiction than fiction. The last book I read was Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, and Emo. A really great book if you want to learn about emo history. The only downside is that it was published in 2003, before emo really took off in the mainstream. Had some insightful things to say regardless.

29. How do you show someone you love them? Idk I can’t think of a concise answer for this. I think it varies depending on who it is and what our dynamic is. When I took that love language test it said my love language was quality time.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? I don’t like it in water. It’s fine in most other drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t think I can answer this without oversharing or getting too bleak

32. What is your favourite scent? I like tropical scents like mango and coconut

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? By their name

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d buy a house with my sister and I wouldn’t have a job but I'd volunteer and do freelance creative work. I’d donate a lot more and help people out more. I’d learn lots of new skills and make lots of art. I would have an amazing wardrobe too.

A kinda sillier dream is that I'd start a cheerleading team where our routines are exclusively to metal songs. As well as entering competitions, we would also be an opening act for bands (in this dream i’m much better at cheerleading than I currently am). It would be cool ok

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean.? Ocean. I miss going to the beach so much

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? See if someone dropped it. Then idk, would depend on my financial situation at the time.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yes

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I’m not going to have children. I’d like to be a good influence in my friend’s children’s lives though.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Probably some old-school gradient style neopets art (maybe an aisha) or 90s tamagotchi art or a cool wizard. I’d get it on my thigh. I’m very unlikely to ever get a tattoo though

40. What can you hear now? The hum of my computer. It’s old and loud and on its way out

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my bed at home with my cat Luna or hanging out w my sister

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Once coronavirus is less of an issue (which may be in the near future where I live), I’d like to try and push myself to start dating again. I haven’t done that in a long while. The limitations that ocd causes me makes it hard for me to imagine a relationship-- even a casual one--being workable. But I ought to at least try before I decide that. Sometimes things turn out to be easier than I think they’ll be 🤷‍♀️.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? This is so hard!!

If this is purely for enjoyment and not to change the past, i’d probably just want to see all my favourite bands live while they were in their prime and like, cry the whole way through because I am so moved.

44. What is your most used emoji? :) or :/ 

45. Describe yourself using one word. I’m really bad at questions like this

46. What do you regret the most? Eh, that’s a bit personal. I feel like i’ve overshared enough in this thing.

47. Last movie you saw? Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days

48. Last tv show you watched? Degrassi the next generation

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Idk

If you’ve read this far ty!! Here’s a little sheep for your trouble

[going-there-and-back-again]

tagged by @theleavesoflorien

So sorry for the long delay on this, Marianne, and thank you so much for tagging me!! had to do some school stuff and time got away from me :)

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

Black!!

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

ahhh i don’t know! i’ve lived in a city for most of my life but went to university in a much quieter area so it’s really hard to decide! I prefer towns, I think (small city center, old buildings, hanging lights, but also nature and greenery and rivers and hills and trees 😍😍) 

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Asdfhjkl there are so many things I want to learn !!! I can play the piano but I really wish I was better ✨✨. And languages! LANGUAGES. There are so many languages I want to learn it’s an entirely unfeasible dream but I just want to read everything and translations just aren’t the same as originals, you know? (including Elvish, obviously, because Quenya/Sindarin are just so beautiful and they actually just sound like what they mean, you can hear the feeling and I love that so much). I wish I could bake (I tried making pound cake with dried fruit and let’s just say I was disappointed 😂😂😂). And do origami. And art (I can’t draw to save my life, but I’d love to be able to. I keep seeing scenes from movies or just pretty landscapes or imagining things from books and I want to draw them and I can’t). On the flip side of the spectrum, I like read and learn new things about science, too. Biochemistry and plants and physiology and the like. Haven’t read that stuff in ages, and there is no need for me to read them now, but I enjoy it :)

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

Nope! Tea only, and no milk or sugar 😊🍵 

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Does 12 years old fall within the boundary of childhood? If it does, then Lord of the Rings 😆😆. Other than that, hmm, it’s hard to choose. Gaiman’s Ocean at the End of the Lane was the last ‘children’s’ book I read (it’s been 7 years; I still love it). In primary I had a huge mystery phase and loved The Boxcar Children and A Series of Unfortunate Events. And Narnia (though I didn’t finish the series) !! Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House series was also one of my favorites 🌲👧🏻

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

I like both :) Baths are a treat though, I usually just shower

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

Not sure...I think I once took a quiz and got ‘faun’? I want to be an Elf in Middle Earth most though! Or a hobbit 🍏🍊

8. Paper or electronic books?

Paper books all the way!! I read with a pencil in hand and if I can’t annotate it just doesn’t feel right 

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

a baby blue cardigan with ‘I need sleep’ written on the back (story of my life??)

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?

Yup, I like it! It means butterfly. My mom picked it because it was invented by Jonathan Swift for his book ‘Cadenus and Vanessa’ (she said ‘it has character’; do i have character??? who knows but it’s easy to come up with nicknames for my name which makes me happy)

11. Who is a mentor to you?

Don’t know if this counts, but I met a few people a couple years older than me through litsoc at uni and they really made me think/unknowingly taught me so much  

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?

No - no fame no cameras just nooo :((( I just want to live my life

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

I’m more of a crash-and-sleep-so-deeply-I-can’t-hear-my-alarm person 

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?

...I have absolutely no idea

15. Which element best represents you?

Air, I think. Or bodies of water (the sea, lakes, rivers)

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

I don’t know...I hope to stay close to my friends; everyone says people drift after school/uni’s over and I really hope that doesn’t happen 

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

My friends from uni. And just uni in general :((

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

Swingsets!! hahahaha

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Don’t think I’ve eaten anything *that* strange before...

20. What are you most thankful for?

Family, friends, school, books, home

21. Do you like spicy food?

Can’t eat spicy food at all, oops

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

I’ve met a couple of authors! ohmygod if i was old enough to have talked to tolkien or tennessee williams though i would s-c-r-e-a-m (someone pls invent a time machine)

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

I tried once, I think? I was in primary though

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pen now, but I annotate in pencil.

25. What is your star sign?

Libra, but I don’t do astrology.

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

Crunchy...why would you like soggy cereal??

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

asdfghjkl i don’t know. To have done some good, I suppose. To have been kind, and to have thought deeply and loved well. (ha you really see the lotr coming out here don’t you)

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

I like reading more than I like breathing I think . Am reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s ‘One Hundred Years of Solitude’ (so so good)

29. How do you show someone you love them?

The little things, I guess?? Through actions. I rarely ever tell family/friends I love them outright

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

Love iced drinks

31. What are you afraid of?

So many things (heights! bugs! rollercoasters!). and sometimes i just feel afraid, and if you asked i wouldn’t be able to tell you why (it’s just a feeling i cannot quite explain).

32. What is your favourite scent?

That smell in the air when autumn has just started but it’s warm, still, and you can smell the air changing and just the sense of something something coming -

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

Surname!

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

No idea...not in a drastically different way I guess. I would still want to study, and I’d want a job too. It’d just feel safer I guess - like I wouldn’t have to worry about buying a house or anything. And I’d definitely travel more 

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

The pool...the sea’s too salty

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

Take it to the nearest frontdesk type of place if that’s possible?

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

Yes! I was walking back from the library at 11:45pm or so and I was trying to get it on camera so I forgot to make a wish

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

Understanding, I think - to be true to themselves, and accepting of others; to learn and to think, broadly and deeply; to make decisions for good reasons

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

Don’t really want a tattoo tbh

40. What can you hear right now?

Nothing much, it’s quite quiet here at night.

41. Where do you feel the safest?

At home, I think, or at uni.

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

sometimes I feel like I can’t speak, like I’m not going to again for a very long time. it’s just a feeling, but still

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

I want to go to Imladris more than any era of this world 🍃🍃

44. What is your most used emoji?

Laugh-cry 😂😂😂

45. Describe yourself using one word.

Quiet, maybe? idk

46. What do you regret the most?

every embarrassing situation i’ve ever been in i guess? 😆

47. Last movie you saw?

The Tolkien 2019 biopic (the tcbs friendship was great; unfortunately the Tolkien-Edith relationship wasn’t portrayed well at all)

48. Last tv show you watched?

Modern Family haha (it’s my go-to comfort show)

49. Invent a word and its meaning

I think we need more words for smells! the smell of rain, the smell of the grass at night in early summer, the smell of early autumn 🍃

@shiremaiden, @fool--of-a-took if you guys want to do this, but it’s super long so no pressure at all :)

[ahufflepuffhobbit]

@alienfuckeronmain tagged me in a super long list of questions to get to know me, which I’m THRILLED about! Since I don’t think many people will want to read through 49 things about me, I’m going to tag @jessiohhh, @armiteggio, and @watsonmoony up here, to do if you want! (Yes I’m tagging you all again, but still, no pressure!)

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black pen all the way

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I had to actually think about this because I have always loved cities so much. BUT. I think I like the idea of living in them more than I would actually like it. I definitely prefer the peacefulness of living in the country though, especially if it’s near a body of water. Could even just be a stream or pond.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Hmmmm. Most of the skills I want to learn wouldn’t be useful?!? Like, learning Elvish. I suppose it would be nice to actually learn to draw. OR GROW PLANTS.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Coffee, yes, with creamer too. Tea is had black though.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? How are we defining child? Because like. Under 10 age, it was the book called The Witches and the Singing Mice by Jenny Nimmo about these two tom cats that save the children in a village from witches who put them in a coma like thing. I fucking loved it and yes, I still have it on my shelf. 

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! I’ve never been a bath person. I don’t understand it. Showers are the ultimate for chilling out and winding down, and mine tend to last like thirty minutes or as long as we have hot water. 

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? I... have no fucking clue. Fairy?? (unless we’re including hobbit in mythical, which I think we should because that’s my choice)

8. Paper or electronic books? Paper. I’ve found that if I read published books electronically, I tend to not take it as seriously or judge it more harshly. Or maybe the books I’ve read electronically just sucked. IDK.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? I stole a hoodie from my dad when I moved out. I’m pretty sure he’s had since the nineties. It’s just light blue and soooooo soft.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I used to not like my name (Robyn), but I’ve learned to love it and I wouldn’t want it to be something else. 

11. Who is a mentor to you? One of my professors, probably. I still check in him with once a year, despite not having him as a teacher in about seven years. He helped me understand the psychology field a lot better, and I felt more prepared becoming a therapist because of him. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no. If I get famous for anything, it will be for having a trademarked expression showing my displeasure.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Yes, indeed. I’ve had insomnia for about fourteen years. It’s worse when I’m going through the PTSD season (roughly September-December), and the rest of the year I tend to move around a lot or talk in my sleep.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yesssss but I think other people would disagree

15. Which element best represents you? water!

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I have gotten better at pursuing friendships, and those things take time, so I’m not sure if there’s anyone in particular that I’m like, scared to approach.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? my parents, always. Living twelve hours away sucks balls.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. Okay. I was once brought home by a police officer when I was nine for loitering at a pet store down the street. The employee (who had to be like seventeen or something) called the fucking cops instead of just talking to me. And then I panicked and tried to run, IMMEDIATELY got caught, and then tried to lie about where I lived. Needless to say, by the time the cop got me home, he was thoroughly unimpressed and was very rude to my dad as a result and apparently made some comment about him not being a fit father because he was covered with tattoos (???). (Also, I recognize that me getting away with this is peak privilege)

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? All of freshman year, a friend and I would combine our breakfasts/snacks in our English class. This typically was strawberry poptarts, cheetos, and pink lemonade. It’s actually really fucking good. Super bad for you.

20. What are you most thankful for? the support of my partner, even though I’m currently annoyed at him.

21. Do you like spicy food? Nooooo, I cannot handle it at all

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Yes! Mostly from Cons and stuff, the highlight of which was meeting Nicholas Brendan. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? not usually, but I will write things down to help with processing them. After my grandma died and the subsequent family drama, there was a lot of ‘journaling’

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Pen! Can’t stand pencils.

25. What is your star sign? Sagittarius

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? What kind of question is this? Who likes soggy cereal?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? That I tried my best, honestly. I don’t think about it much beyond that. 

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? i LOVE reading. I’ve fallen out of the habit since I went through college and haven’t been able to get back up to where I was. The last book I read all the way through would have been Hunchback of Notre Dame, which I actually thoroughly enjoyed! Currently I’m reading my way through the History of Middle Earth, which means jumping between seven different books to do chronologically.

29. How do you show someone you love them? my love language is quality time or physical touch, so spending time and lots of hugs! 

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? In lemonade or juice drinks, yes. Everything else no - especially not water

31. What are you afraid of? Oh, so many things. Top of the list is the loss of my family or cats. 

32. What is your favourite scent? Lavender, sandalwood, or the ocean

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I don’t tend to address anyone by their name...

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I would honestly be home a lot more and not have a TBR pile consisting of over a hundred books. 

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I don’t really have a preference! I love water and swimming, so any body of water works for me. I won’t, however, swim in a pool when I’m near an ocean. That just seems weird to me. 

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Probably spend it, honestly. Buy a meal for myself or something a bit fun.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? I think so?  

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I am except from this question because that will not be happening! I do try to make sure my niece accepts herself for how she is and that she doesn’t have to BE anything to be loved

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Well, I have tattoos already. And I have one planned for next month! I’m getting a Sweet Pea on my forearm for my grandma, because she always called me a sweet pea. Other than that, I have plans to the ring poem by tolkien around my ankle in the black speech.

40. What can you hear now? I can’t do anything without listening to music, which is currently Pirateship by Rumahoy, because @alienfuckeronmain has gotten me into metal like I’ve never been before

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my partner’s hugs

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? hating my body

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I don’t want to chooooooose. All of them. All of them.

44. What is your most used emoji? the crying laughing face

45. Describe yourself using one word. Random!

46. What do you regret the most? Regrets.... I guess I regret not being closer to the side of the family that has always liked/supported me until I was an adult. I could have had so many more memories with them and been closer to those cousins! Instead of the ones that straight up abandoned me. Good times. 

47. Last movie you saw? King of Staten Island, actually. It was pretty good, but I felt like it ended too early

48. Last tv show you watched? It’s always New Girl, technically, because I fall asleep watching it. Other than that, probably John Oliver last week.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. I don’t invent words. I do, however, invent a sign language of my own that involves gesticulating wildly while trying to convey my meaning. I have no way to describe these signs in text, unfortunately.

[lealina-scarsdale]

The Unexpected Scout (The Hobbit OC Story)

Chapter 02 - The company of Thorin Oakenshield

In awe-stricken silence, the dwarves looked among each other and at Gwen. The room was filled with awkward quietness. Trying to lighten up the mood again, and primarily to change the subject, Balin, one of the older looking dwarves, addressed Thorin: "What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?"

The king nodded as he answered: "Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." Pleased about this information, the dwarves joyfully raised their fists and wanted to chat away again, but the rough voice of the big, bald dwarf beside Gandalf, whose name was Dwalin, interrupted them.

"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?", he asked and looked at their leader. He hoped that he brought good news to them. But as he saw his stony-faced expression and a sigh escape his lips, he knew that it wasn't the case.

"They will not come." Instantly everyone started to murmur in disappointment. Even Gandalf was aghast at it. Gwen could understand their reactions.

She may not know all the details, but the fact that an army was denying their assistance for such a big mission like that was really discouraging. Even she felt uncomfortable after hearing those words and the sudden heavy atmosphere.

"They say this quest is ours and ours alone.", Thorin added and took a sip of the ale in his tankard beside him as if he wanted to get rid of the bad taste of his own words inside of his mouth. Now Bilbo, the hobbit, suddenly piped up from behind Gandalf. "You're going on a quest?" He took the center of attention with his question.

The wizard looked past his shoulder and then started to search for something inside of his cowl. While he was doing that he requested for a little more light from the hobbit, who immediately searched for another candle.

In the meantime, Gandalf took out an old map and lay it down in front of him on the table for Thorin and some of the other dwarves closer to him to see. At the same time, he started explaining something while he unfolded it.

"Far to the east, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single, solitary peak." He pointed at the drawing of a big mountain that was shown on the map along with old dwarfish runes and the figure of a dragon flying over it.

Everyone stared at the paper in front of them. Gwen stepped a little closer to look at it as well, peering over Thorin’s shoulder since she stood right behind him.

Bilbo, who just returned with the inflamed candle, took an interest in it as well. Positioning himself between Thorin and Gandalf to give them the ideal illumination, he read the words he was able to make out aloud: "The Lonely Mountain."

"Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time.", Gloin joined into the conversation, what made his benchmates beside him shake their heads and rolling their eyes irritatedly. Looked like they had heard it quite a lot already from him.

Gandalf magically ignited his pipe with his finger as Oin started to tell everyone what he had seen. "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold. When the birds of yore return to Erebor the reign of the beast will end."

Well, that was quite some prophecy, Gwen had to admit. She gazed at the map with great interest. Her eyes wandered over the old paper, prospecting for some hidden clues, which could help them. But sadly, she couldn't find any. Ancient dwarfish wasn't really a topic she was familiar with. She felt a little bit frustrated about that.

Suddenly the daunted voice of Bilbo rang out from behind her, making everyone look at him once again. He wanted to know what beast they were talking about. Bofur, a dwarf with a funny looking hat sitting opposite from Gandalf, explained it to him with a carefree voice.

"Well, that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest, calamity of our age." Gandalf shot him a warning glare, already knowing where this conversation was going to end. Gwen also wasn't sure if they should let him continue with his speech because it wasn't getting any better as he carried on.

"Airborne fire-breather. Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks. Extremely fond of precious metals." "Yes, I know what a dragon is.", Bilbo interrupted him, already having enough of his descriptions. He had gotten more and more insecure as all these words had left his mouth.

Fiddling with his fingers nervously, Gwen felt really bad for him. He looked like a poor little rabbit that had picked up the scent of its predator.

Gently she patted his shoulder and lead him a little further away from the dining room, trying to give him some space to soothe his nerves again, while the dwarves and the wizard went on with their conversation. Reassuringly she looked at Bilbo with a gentle smile of hers. She could understand him completely.

There was a bunch of strangers suddenly crashing into his beloved home and talked about life-threatening things like dragons. Hobbits normally weren't really the bravest, nor adventurous creatures in the first place, that far she knew already. But she trusted Gandalf's choice of people. Don't judge a book by its cover, they said.

"Sorry. That must be a lot for you to take in.", she said and softly massaged his shoulder with her thumb as she leaned down to look into his big eyes. They were filled with doubt and discomfort, but that eased up as soon as he stared at her two rubies, which looked so calm and kind.

Bilbo surely was amazed that someone like her was an adventurer. She really didn’t appear like one. He had read a lot of books about other people’s experiences in the big, wide world, but it was hard to imagine that Gwen was actually one of them as well.

She was so kind, gentle, and lovely. Her movements were elegant and the words she had chosen so far were deliberate – really polite compared to the comments of the dwarves.

In his opinion, the role of a noblewoman or even a princess would fit her much better. It would be easy to mistake her for one as soon as she would wear suitable clothes for it. And those sparkling eyes of hers, which showed nothing but heartiness and charity, did the rest.

Bilbo didn't even realize that he had gotten lost in them until a sudden outburst of indignant dwarf voices made him snap back into reality. Afraid that they could start a fight, he worriedly peered past Gwen, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on with them. But she insured him that everything was fine. They were just complaining that Balin had called them "not the brightest".

"Listen. I understand that you think of them as a chaotic bunch of boors with a big lack of etiquette. I mean, I met them myself for the very first time as well today. And you saw how they reacted when Gandalf introduced me."

As Bilbo reminisce about that scene, Gwen could hear how Fili, the young dwarf with the blond hair, was slamming his hand on the table to get his comerades' attention as he declared with self-confidence: "We may be few in number, but we're fighters, all of us to the last dwarf!" She could hear him hitting the table again to strengthen his statement.

She couldn’t help but let out a low chuckle at that. Her actions confused Bilbo. Since he wasn't blessed with such good hearing like she was, he hadn't been able to follow the conversation in the room behind them.

Without giving him an explanation about it, she just smiled at him. "I think, deep inside they're good guys. You just have to get to know them. I'm sure that their hearts are in the right place, trust me." Bilbo gave her a doubtful look at her words and raised an eyebrow. He wasn't so sure about that.

Noticing that, she playfully ruffled his hair and laughed. "Don't give me that look. It will be fine, you will see." Still, there was no positive response coming from him. He just tried to get her hand out of his hair because it was embarrassing for him to be treated like a child, especially by someone who looked younger than him.

She laughed and suggested to go back and join the others since she already could hear them talking about a way to get into Erebor – all thanks to her keen ears of course.

As the two arrived back at the dining room, they saw Gandalf handing Thorin an old looking key. It seemed very important since everyone just stared at it in awe. Without losing a single word, Thorin took it from the wizard, peering at it as soon as the metal touched his fingers. Now everyone was feeling encouraged again.

Sensing that, Gandalf smiled and started to discuss with them about the map on the table. Saying, that the runes spoke of a hidden passage to the lower halls that could be opened with this key.

But there was a rub. Dwarf doors were invisible when closed, even if they could find it. It made Gandalf sign and Gwen had to prevent herself to do the same. The task really got more and more complicated as the conversation continued.

"The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But . . . there are others in Middle Earth who can.", Gandalf said and turned to Thorin, who gave him a suspicious look. It seemed like he was already suspecting who he could possibly mean by that.

Gwen also had someone in mind but kept her mouth shut. It was better to let the old man finish. After all, he was the one who had set everyone here up for this.

"The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage.", he said and looked over to Bilbo beside Gwen, who gazed back at him, wondering if he was talking to him directly. "But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done." He smiled at group confidently about his own words.

Ori, the young dwarf at the end of the table, realized what he had meant by that. "That's why we need a burglar and a scout." The others nodded in agreement. Even Bilbo joined into the conversation now. "Hmm. And good ones too. Some experts, I'd imagine."

Gwen had to hold back a snicker as she looked at him. He really hadn't got it yet. Why did he think was everyone here if he wouldn't also be a selected part of them? She felt a little bad for him that he had thrown himself right into the wolf’s den with this statement.

Soon he was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea and tried to get himself out of it by telling them that they got the wrong person. Balin agreed with him. He also didn't saw burglar material in him, while he didn't say anything about Gwen.

Dwalin snorted: "Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Saying that his eyes moved from Bilbo to Gwen, mentally laughing at her asthenic form.

Unlike his brother, he had already formed an opinion about her. Feeling irritated by that, she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, daring him to repeat himself.

Now everyone was chatting away once again about this fact. Some also agreed with Balin and Dwalin, while others, like Fili and Kili, had high hopes for Bilbo and her. And so, another fight between them broke out.

Gwen closed her eyes with a groan after she looked at that and massaged her temple in disbelief. Was that all these dwarves were capable off when they weren't able to make terms? Fighting over every single thing? She already had the feeling that this journey will be long – a very long and exhausting one for other people's nerves.

Then suddenly, the sense of darkness made her snap out of her thoughts and she turned at the source of it. Gandalf's body was shaking in pure rage, a dark aura enveloping him. Threateningly he rose to his feet and towered over the group. His normally gentle and calm voice was now sharp and boiling with anger.

"Enough!", he shouted at them, what made everyone flinch and became silent instantly. Some even bent their torsos away from him as if it would help them to get out of the trouble they were in now. The wizard pierced them with his glare as he continued. "If I say Bilbo Baggings and Miss Gwen are our burglar and scout, then a burglar and a scout they are."

His presence was daunting, and Gwen really didn't want him to get upset too much. Besides, he scared everyone in the room, especially Bilbo, who had made a few steps behind her to find shelter.

Carefully she touched Gandalf's arm and whispered some words to him to make him calm down again. It worked. Soon his aura returned to normal. And after he had taken a few deep breaths and a thankful glimpse at her, he explained to the others first why he had chosen a hobbit.

Because they were remarkable light on their feet. In fact, they could pass unseen by most, if they chose. That really sounded strange, since their feet were so much bigger compared to their small height. And, while the dragon was accustomed to the smell of dwarf the scent of a hobbit was all but unknown to him, which gave them a distinct advantage.

Bilbo wanted to interrupt, but couldn't. He was speechless about all of this and how he got into this mess anyway. But Gandalf ignored him and continued by turning his attention to Gwen.

"As for Miss Gwen . . ." He pointed at her wolf ears. "These ears aren't only for her to look different from you. As a rhenuw wur, she has an accurate ear and a keen sense of smell. In addition, the darkness of the night doesn't make any difference for her eyes than the light of the day, and she is also able to detect other people's identity by sensing their aura. She will fail-safely warn us about our enemies before they will even be able to see us first."

"Reenuv-what?", a Bofur asked, confused about the name of her race. "It means shadow wolf in my kin's language.", Gwen answered and let her tail sway slightly, feeling a little nervous after all about the dwarven king's final decision.

She really hoped that Gandalf's little speech had been able to convince him. But if not, then she will accept it and leave this instant. The last thing she wanted was to intrude herself upon them.

"You asked me to find the 14th and 15th member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins and Miss Gwen.", the old man said and sat down again as he gazed at Thorin, who really didn't look too fond of this. He had his doubts about the two. But Gandalf wasn't going to accept any refusal from him.

"There's a lot more to them than appearances suggest. And they've got a great deal more to offer than any of you know." His attention went back to Bilbo, who didn't feel confident at all about these words. "Especially Mr. Baggins himself."

It made Gwen smile how highly he thought of both of them and even tried to make the others understand that. Gently she patted Bilbo's back, smiling at him to tell him that everything will turn out just fine.

Thorin, on the other hand, didn't seem convinced about that. He looked at Gandalf as if he wanted to ask him if he was really serious about a hobbit and a woman joining such an important mission. In his eyes, they appeared to do a lot more damage to his friends and him than any foe could. They would just slow them down.

But Gandalf adhered to his idea. "You must trust me on this.", he said, giving him an insistent look. Realizing that there was no way to argue with him, Thorin sighed and agreed to do it this way. He turned to Balin, ignoring the protests of Bilbo behind him. "Give them the contract."

Pulling two folded papers out of his tunic, Balin stood up and handed them over. One for Bilbo and one for Gwen. "It's just the usual. Summary about the out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth."

Gwen took the contracts from Balin since she had better reach because she was taller than a dwarf or hobbit, but still smaller than Gandalf. She handed one to Bilbo, who had reacted almost instantly about the words "funeral arrangements".

Both unfolded their papers and it appeared to be a long list, nearly matching the hobbit's height. Bilbo sighed at this, while Gwen just brushed it off and started reading it at once. While both were busy doing that, Thorin stood up from his seat and leaned closer to Gandalf to whispered something into his ear.

Gwen's ears twitched at that. Her eyes may be dedicated to the contract in front of her, but traveling and experience had taught her to split her focus. It was really butt-saving from time to time.

Not able to guarantee for their safety and not the one who will be responsible for their fate were the things he murmured into his ear. She could feel his disapproving eyes on her and Bilbo, but mostly on her.

It made her tail jerk a little in annoyance. She was on the verge to wrap it around one of the king’s legs and pull on it to make his handsome face kiss the ground. But that would be improper after he had finally let her join them.

She knew that males didn't really think much of females like her unless they were elves since their bodies were also slender. And as much as she was already used to this and had told herself several times to not let it bother her, she couldn't help but feel a little bit angry about it.

Nearly finished to read through the long, long, loooong piece of paper, she caught the sudden uneasiness of Bilbo as he reached the part of the liability for injuries.

He paused for a moment, squinted his eyes, and continued, realizing that the list of this paragraph was getting even longer and worse. Shocked he turned to the dwarves and asked further questions if that what he was reading was true or if his eyes had suddenly gone bad.

Bofur just grinned and confirmed it. "Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in a blink of an eye." Gwen saw the hobbit's face immediately turn pale as he blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what the dwarf just had said. He looked a little unwell now.

As Balin asked him if he was alright, he even leaned forward to support himself on his knees, taking some deep breaths and blinking rapidly. Oh no. Gwen already knew what would come next if he would read any further.

Bofur tried to help out by starting to describe again, but that didn't really help. It looked more like he wanted to tease him instead of making him feel better. "Think furnace with wings." "Air. I-I-I need air.", Bilbo stuttered as he tried to hold his balance in order not to collapse.

Gwen looked at him worriedly. This poor guy really didn't know how dangerous it really was going to become. She better won't tell him that their path until they would reach the mountain was not any safer.

Bofur was taking a shine into the discomfort of Bilbo and continued to talk as if it would be the most normal thing in the world. "Flash of light, searing pain, then: Poof. You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

That was the last straw. Gwen could already feel the blood freeze in Bilbo's body as he gulped hard and stayed silent. And it didn't take long until he opened his mouth again to decline the offer and fainted. Luckily for him, Gwen had been right beside him to catch him from his fall.

"Oh, very helpful, Bofur.", Gandalf scolded the loquacious dwarf, who only now realized that he had gone too far with his teasing. Rolling her eyes at this lack of discretion, Gwen pulled Bilbo on his arms along with her and seated his unconscious body on one of the comfortable chairs in one of the nearest rooms she could find.

Then she went back to the dining room where she could hear Gandalf chiding Bofur for his insensibility. But he paused as soon as he saw her enter the room again. He gave her a concerned look. "How is he?"

"His lights are literally knocked. I don't think that he will react all that happy when he wakes up." She gave Bofur a quick look of reproach before turning her attention back to Gandalf.

"I will make him some tea. It will calm him down and easier to talk to." She gave the wizard a meaningful glance, letting him know that he was going to be up for that task to convince him since he knew him the best.

And after all, he wanted him to become their burglar. He just sighed and nodded, knowing well that this was going to be a difficult one.

"But first, I'm going to sign this.", she said with a quill in her hand that she had found on a small table in the hallway. The dwarves stared at her with wide eyes.

She had heard what risks were laying up before her. Getting really bad injuries or maybe even dying weren't the only things that could happen. She could also be captured, tortured, and enslaved as well.

The hobbit had already passed out from hearing of just a small amount of danger, but she didn't want to back down? They didn’t know if she was a though one or if she was just too carefree or dumb by ignoring the possibilities of the end of her life or getting cut into pieces.

After she scribbled her name at the end of the contract, she presented it to Balin, who examined it with great care. Then he nodded and folded it.

"Alright. Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Miss Gwen, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." He smiled at her and she bowed her head slightly as a sign of gratitude. "I promise to not let you down. Come what may!"

"You better not.", the harsh voice of Thorin sounded right beside her. She didn't even have to turn her head to know what he was looking like. He had his arms crossed and gave her a frown. Even though it was already a done deal, he still was against the idea of her accompanying them on this quest.

"And if you do, we will send you packing at the very first opportunity." His tone was stern and grumpy, making her understand that she could take him by his word.

Gwen gazed at him quietly. She had already a feeling that it would be difficult to get on with this guy, but that didn't frighten her off. Her decision was final and she was going to go with them, whenever King Grumbler liked it or not.

________________________________________________________________

<< Chapter 01

Chapter 03 >>

________________________________________________________________

Tags: @loushirley, @j25m18c24, @hellbull, @inumorph 

[whosxafraid]

I want to get to know you!

one / name / alias: crow

two / birthday:  fourth day of the seventh month.

three / zodiac sign: cancer

four / height: 5′4′″

five / hobbies: Writing (snape vc : obviously), editing, uh....not dying....surviving my kids...reading, and uhm...collecting pops.

six / favorite colors: black like my soul...also pink is good and purple and that very specific tropical green.

seven / favorite books: The Hobbit | The LOTR: FOTR | LOTR: TTT | LOTR: TROTK | Savages | The Kings Of Cool | Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs | The Strain | The Fall | The Eternal Night | Ice Station | Percy Jackson and The Sea Of Monsters  | Treasure Island | Tale Of Two Cities | Of Mice and Men | Dracula | Frankenstein | The Picture of Dorian Grey | Journey To The Center Of The Earth | The Count of Monte Cristo | The Three Musketeers | Robin Hood |  Les Misérables | The Strange Case Of Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde | Moby Dick | The Odyssey | Much Ado About Nothing | Midsummer Night’s Dream | Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban | From The Earth To The Moon | Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea | The Mysterious Island |....ima just stop there yea?

eight / last song listened to: uh.....shit uhm.....we’re going on a bear hunt i think...i have a three year old.....

nine / last film watched: Oblivion...years late i know but...wasn’t bad??

ten / inspiration for muse: uh...well...-hands u some coffee- get comfortable.... so lets go back a little bit...like way back...i think i was four? my mom would read me fairy tales and other more shall we say advanced fantasy. well i can remember thinking when she read me Little Red Cap and The Three Little Pigs why was the big bad wolf bad? like did he just up and decide one day to be a bad? did something happen to him to make him that way? where’d he come from? why does everyone hate him for trying to eat the pigs? humans eat pigs and we’re not thought to be bad just based on that. and why did he want to eat grandma anyway? unless he had some previous taste for human flesh before animals generally don’t pick us as a primary source of food...we don’t taste all that fantastic to them. (yes i was a very weird four year old who watched more documentaries than kids shows) 

well those thoughts never really went away. so fast forward a little bit---somewhere around ten and it became a sort of mission that summer to figure out where the hell the brothers Grimm even found the inspiration for the story. so i did what any mid nineties kid did...i went to the library...again....and again...and again. (driving my mom slightly crazy in the process because we lived out in the middle of no where and trips to the library were kind of a hassle.) i would spend hours upon hours hunting through every book i could get my hands on about Germanic myth and the kind and at some point i realize the sort of creature everyone thought the brothers Grimm might have gotten the idea for the big bad wolf went from ‘some giant wolf that lived in the norther regions’ to ‘they’re using the wolf as a stand in for every’s innate fear’. And the latter kinda stuck with me.  Fast forward AGAIN im sixteen going through some shit and i find all my old notes and scribbles and general silly ten year old kid stuff. But in among that box? is my little note book about the big bad wolf. (i’ve sadly since lost it i had a rough two years between seventeen and nineteen). But it sparked my interest in him again and by then i’d done a lot more reading across a lot of other regional lore and myths. And around three in the morning sitting out on my window having a smoke..it hit me.

for all the fifty seven different versions people have told over the years of The Big Bad Wolf--he’s a stand in for anyone and anything that prays on the lazy and inattentive, he’s the monster under the bed, he’s that stranger your mom warned you not to talk to on the street, he’s fear in incarnate....he had to be based of someone. because in every bit of ‘fantasy’ there is a grain of truth. That’s what makes it believable. for kids, for adults, for anyone. so i stopped looking at him like the big scary villain the fairy tales so flatly portrayed him to be and started working out who he was before. everyone has a start right? no one is just born bad just like no one’s born exactly good either. and it just took off from there.

i threw out the general werewolf ideal. i threw out the painfully shallow ‘he’s just a talking wolf that eats people’. i threw out the misconception that he was just bad to be bad. went back to the drawing board and started again. swam through miles of lore and myth from all over the world and what made the most sense to me were the “werewolves” of Ireland. thought to be decedents of Faoladh. and then i hit a snag because well wait a minute. all the wolves in Ireland are extinct now....why was that? so more research more time found out they were killed off because they were killing livestock...shocker. but why were they doing it? wat drove them to do it? why wasn’t it done earlier? what changed.

ANYWAY--so i wrestled with the Irish werewolf thing for a long while because like i said i’d thrown that entire thing out the window when i started over. and then again at some point in the wee hours of morning i realized no...i was right...he wasn’t a werewolf at all. but a boy that had been given a choice....and he lived forever after.

fast forward now to the recent past and present---a lot of my more recent developmental discoveries about Luka as a character have been thanks to @brooklynislandgirl​ who knows way more lore than i did. and she helped me shape him into who he is now here on tumblr. and its been an amazing trip that im still enjoying being. so yea...there’s a not so short explanation regarding how and why i was inspired to make this muse.

eleven / dream job: Novelist

twelve / meaning behind your url: Click me. [because yes i possess a sometimes mean sense of humor and he dislikes me for it lol]

TAGGED BY: @pricklesandthorns

TAGGING: if ur reading this and wanna do it tag ur it

[majingojira]

Monsters of the 20th Century

I had this odd notion.  A (brief) analysis of the origin of various supernatural creatures, as I wondered what ‘new’ monsters/supernatural beings had been created in the 20th century (roughly).   I’ve completed some of the research, and I’d like to share it with you all.  I’m also gonna tag @tyrantisterror because he is one of the more knowledgable people about monsters I know about on tumblr and I’m sure he can correct me a bunch in this!

1. Frankenstein - 1817 - The oldest literary monster and outgrowth of the concept of the Homunculus and Golem as an artificial being.  So pervasive is its reach, western ideas of Tulpa are tainted by it (every time you read about a tulpa ‘going out of control’, that is the influence of Frankenstein). 

2. Dinosaurs - The Dragons of the age of science entered pop culture in 1854 at the latest with the opening of the Crystal Palace Park.  Other prehistoric animals had captured people’s imagination before, and they didn’t start to enter fiction until 1864 (”Journey to the Center of the Earth”) and a short story by C. J. Cutliffe Hyne had an ancient crocodilian in his story “The Lizard” (1898).  Ann early Lost World style adventure, “A Strange Manuscript Found in a Copper Cylinder” by James De Mille in 1888 has the first true dinosaurs in them.  There, Antarctica has a warm spot where prehistoric monsters and a death cult lurk.  In 1901, Frank Mackenzie Savile’s “Beyond the Great South Wall” had a Carnivorous Brontosaurs worshiped by Mayan remnants.  “Panic in Paris” by Jules Lermina had dinosaurs attack a city, but it was published first in France so few saw it.  Finally, we have Conan Doyle in 1912 with “The Lost World” which solidified dinosaurs as a thing in fiction. 

3. The Evolved Man/Mutants - After “The Origin of Species” is published, it wasn’t long until Evolved Men or Mutants started showing up in fiction. “The Coming Race” and (1871), “The Great Romance” (1881).   They are generally big-headed and often have ESP of some sort.  In “Media: A Tale of the Future” (1891), they can control electricity too. It wasn’t until 1928 (”The Metal Man” by Jack Williamson) that Radiation was thrown in as a cause for Mutation.  Cosmic Rays would follow in “The Man Who Evolved” by Edmond Hamilton (1931).  After that, we have “Gladiator” by Philip Gordon Wylie (1930) where we have an engineered “Evolved Man”, and “Odd John” by Olaf Stapeldon which grants us the term “Homo superior” followed by “Slan” by A.E. van Vogt which has Evolved Humans as a persecuted minority.   And with that, everything that makes the X-Men what they are is collected.

3. Man-Eating Tree - First reported in 1874, the idea of man-eating plants grew since then to encompase many monsters, but started as Folklore about ‘Darkest Africa” (Madagascar) in the New York World.  They’d print anything back then.

4. Hyde - While it is tempting to link him to Freudian Psychology, Freud did not publish his work regarding things like the Id until much later (he didn’t even coin “Psychoanalysis” until 1896).  What is springs from, I currently cannot say without more research. 

4. Robot - Though there were automata since the days of the Greeks (Talos), the first Robot in modern fiction is from “The Future Eve” by Auguste Villiers de I’lsle Adam (1886).  THough the term Robot is not invented until 1920 with “Rossum’s Universal Robots.”  They definitely offshoot from Frankenstein, but with a more mechanical bent.  

5. The Grey Alien - The modern idea of an Alien has it’s first antecedents in the 1800s.  Specifically with the essay “Man of the Year 1,000,000″ by H. G. Wells (1892-1893). He speculates what humans will evolve into, and basically invites the Gray by accident.  It wouldn’t achieve it’s alien attachments until much later.

6. Morlocks - With the Evolved Man, there is also the ‘Devolved Man’.  That is what the Morlocks are. They are, as the name implies, tied to Well’s “The Time Machine” (1895), and the word has become a catch-all for subterranean monster-men, be they Mole People, CHUDs, or straight up Demons (’GvsE’). 

7. The Martians & Their War Machines - The First Alien Invader, and the first Mecha can be traced to “War of the Worlds” by H.G. Wells, 1897.  Not much more to say as far as I’m aware.

8. The Mummy - The 1800s saw an Egyptian craze in England, leading to some really nasty habits (google “Mummy Powder” if you need ipecac).  1827 saw “The Mummy!: Or, a Tale of the Twenty-Second Century” which is more a bit of futurism with an ancient protagonist.  Though “Lost in the Pyramid” (1868) by Louisa May Alcott predates it, it is overshadowed by Conan Doyle’s horror story “Lot No. 249″ (1892) which has the classically animated mummy going out and killing people under control of another.  The former is a “Curse” story rather than a monster.

9. Cordyceps - Everyone these days knows the Cordyceps fungus as a great source for making zombies, and I’m lumping that fungus in with these other monsters because, well, fungus’ that take over humans is a monster of the 20th century.  Best known for Toho’s film adaptation “Matango” (1963), it is inspired by a short story from 1907 by William Hope Hodgson called “The Voice in the Night”.  There, the poor victim doesn’t realize they’ve completely become a fungus monster, acting as a warning for those near the island.    

10. Aerofauna - Conan Doyle strikes again with “The Horror of the Heights” (1912).  A pretty tight little horror story of a whole ecosystem high above our heads in the clouds.  Many a sky tentacle owes its existence to this one.

11. Lich - Possibly derived from Kosechi the Deathless of Russian folklore, the idea of undead sorcerers became a staple of the works of Robert E. Howard, H.P. Lovecraft, and Clark Ashton Smyth, dating back to 1929.  Though Gary Gigax coined the idea together for D&D and based it on Gardner Fox’s “The Sword of the Sorcerer (1969)

12. Bigfoot and The Loch Ness Monster - I lump these cryptids together, because (thanks to a ton of research by Daren Naish, Daniel Loxton,  Donald R. Prothero, and others) we can trace them back to the same source: King Kong (1933).  The idea of prehistoric animals being out in the world in hidden places goes back to Conan Doyle’s “Lost World” (1912), but Kong made it widely popular.  And between the giant ape and the Brontosaurus attack (and the timing of sightings picking up), we can blame Kong for this.

13. The Great Old Ones - Lovecraft’s primary contribution to fiction first appear in “The Call of Cthulhu” (1926) and expand upon from here.  As near as I can tell, he made a LOT of monsters.  These include “Ancient Aliens” & Shoggoths (1936 - “At the Mountains of Madness”), Gillmen (1931 - ”The Shadow over Innsmouth”), & The Colour Out of Space (1927).  14. The Thing - The Ultimate Shapeshifter.  It first appears in 1938′s “Who Goes There” by John W. Campbell, Jr.  Though Campbell's square-jawed heroes literally tear the Thing to bits, it reached its zenith of horror in adaptation.  I can think of no earlier shapeshifting humanoids of such variety at an earlier time, or of such fecundity. 

15. The Amazons - The Amazons do indeed come from Ancient Greece, but it was a way for the Greeks to rag on Women.  It wasn’t until later that women co-opted the image of the Amazons as a source of empowerment, and that was codified in 1942 with one character: Wonder Woman. She helped spark the Amazons further into the culture, or at least, Amazon women who have superpowers (as they did in those early stories).  From there, we get a more recent direct descendant that was part of the reason I started this list: Slayers from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

16. The Hobbit - Though ideas of ‘Wee Folk” are part of worldwide Folklore, Tolkien took them out of the realm of Faerie, and made them... idyllic middle-class Englishmen with his 1937 book of the same name.  With the Lord of the Rings following in 1954-1955.  His works also gave us other monsters and supernatural beings: Orcs, Ents, & Balrogs. 

17. Gremlins - An Evolution of the wee folk once again, this time adapted for the mechanical era and of a more malicious bent. It became slang in the 1920s, with the earliest print source being from 1929.   They were popularized by Roald Dahl in”The Gremlins” (1942).  Later they were used to vex Bugs Bunny (1943′s “Falling Hare”), and then they got their own movies in the 1980s.  The rest is history.  

18. Triffids - There are a LOT of fictional plants out there, and a lot of carnivorous ones, but the Triffids were the first to be extremely active in their pursuit of prey.  From 1952′s “Day of the Triffids” by John Wyndham, the story is a keen example of the ‘Cozy Apocalypse’ common in British Fiction, sort of like the whole ‘schoolboys on a desert island make well of it’ thing that “Lord of the Flies” railed against. This paved the way for everything from Audrey II to Biollante.

19. Kaiju - 1954.  You know what this is.  Between Primordial Gods and Modern Technology, the Kaiju are born.  The difference between a Kaiju and a Giant Monster is a complex nuanced one, sort of like what makes film noir. But, in general, if the story has Anti-War, Anti-Nationalist, and/or Anti-Corporate Greed leanings, it’s probably a Kaiju movie.  If not, then it probably isn’t.

20. The Body Snatchers - Another horror of 1954 from the novel “The Body Snatchers” (1955), which includes aspects that the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” did not.  Like that the Duplicates only last 5 years and basically exist to wipe out sentient beings with each planet they infest.  Clearly drawing from the idea of the Doppelganger, these Pod People have evolved into a new form.

21. The Blob - That 1958 movie has one catchy theme song.  The whole thing was inspired by an instance of “Star Jelly” in Pennsylvania, circa 1950.  It was tempting to shift this under the Shoggoth, but I think they are distinct enough.

22. Gargoyles - Longtime architectural embellishments, they did not become their own “Being” until 1971 with “The Living Gargoyle” published in Nightmare #6.  The TV Movie “Gargoyles” came soon after in 1972, firmly establishing the monster.  Though it was likely perfected in the TV Series “Gargoyles” (1994). 

23. D&D - From 1973 Through 1977, D&D was formulated and many of its key monsters were invented.  Partly as mechanics ways to screw with players and keep things lively.  This brought us Rust Monsters (1973), Mindflayer (1974), Beholder (1975), and the Gelatinous Cube (1977). 

24. The Xenomorph - Parasitoid breeding is applied to humans to wonderfully horrible effect in the 1979 film “Alien”.  It became iconic as soon as it appeared. 

25. Slasher - The first slasher film is often considered to be ‘Psycho’ (though the Universal Mummy films beyond the first prototype the formula).  The idea of an undead revenant coming back to kill rather randomly started in the film “The Fog” (1980), but was codified by Jason Voorhees in either 1984 or 1986.   I am no expert on this one, though, so I am not fully certain.

26. The Dream Killer - Freddy Krueger first appeared as a killer in dreams in 1981, but there were other dream killers before him.  They could only kill with extreme fear, though.  Freddy got physical!  I think.  Again, more research is needed.

27. Chupacabras - This is another cryptid inspired by a movie.  In this case, “Species” (1995). No, really.  This is what it comes from.   I know a lot of these are really short down the line, but the research for this one is thorough and concise! 

28. Slender Man - The Boogieman for the Internet Age.  An icon of Creepypastas and emblem of them.

Needs More Research: The Crow/Heroic Longer-Term Revenants, Immortals as a “Group” (might go to Gulliver's Travels, but I’m trying to track Highlander here) are also on the list, but they are proving extremely difficult to research, so I thought I’d post what I have at the moment.  Shinigami might also be on the list since they are syncretic adoption of the Grim Reaper into something more.