#also sorry i posted the pic twice but I fixed it!

[elvenbeard]

I've played Cyberpunk twice before but your posts have inspired me to go for my third playthrough and first as male V so I can try out the Kerry romance. Also attempting to learn my way around the AMM mod so I can play around in photo mode more, cause I'm loving the virtual photography stuff. I'm hesitant to share though cause I feel like I barely know what I'm doing (especially since photography is my actual job and I feel like I should know what I'm doing 🤦‍♀️) and you're the only person I follow that's even into Cyberpunk. Anyway, sorry for the rambling, I guess I just wanted you to know your blog inspired someone 😊

aöskdjfaödsjfdffj !!! I feel like I've unlocked a new fandom achievement :D that honestly means so much to hear that I inspired you like aaaahhh ;A;

Okayokayokay, but yes, first things first: I'm extremely biased obviously, but definitely go an play Kerry's romance! It's short (I'm just gonna assume you know his questline if you played the game twice before) but personally I found it so heartwarming and lighthearted and chaotic in a good way after all the horros V went through for the entirety of the game until then xD Also, Kerry is such a good, multilayered character and you're not gonna be in the slightest prepared for some of things he'll say to a romanced V (at least I wasn't, but I also mean that in the best way XD). Would love to hear your thoughts once you get there and I hope you'll love it as much as I do xD

Also!! Don't be shy to share your virtual photography stuff! Photography isn't my job, I do have a tiny bit of experience with it through uni (we had a half-year course once, with outdoor and photostudio shootings and all that, and I learned a lot and really enjoyed it). And it's true, there are some similarities, in terms of how to pick and frame your motives for example, but also: it's still very different tools you're using, so it's normal to not immediately get the hang of everything. I quickly went digging through my screenshot folder for some of my first pics I took in Cyberpunk just with basic photomode:

I still genuinely like all of these (even though I think I didn't share all of them publically so far). But looking back with what I've learned since then (the oldest is the one with Vince on his bike, from Dec 15th '22, the newest is the one with Kerry and Nibbles, from February 22nd '23) I also know what I'd do differently to make them even cooler now xD

AMM also had a bit of a learning curve for me, still does in some regards XD But it really brought my VP to the next level, just for the immense amount of new poses compared to the 20-something or so in vanilla photomode, the nicer and more natural facial expressions, and yeah... the ability to spawn multiple characters xD You can do shippy stuff even with vanilla photomode, but with AMM there's... so... many... possibilities...

ALSO! What I'm still trying to get the hang of but which is so so nice and one of the main things I'd change about my old screenies: custom lights. Spawning different colour lights, basically having your own little photostudio setup wherever you want, however complex or simple you want, is amazing and makes a huuuge difference!!

An example of my learning curve with AMM and one of my favourite photo subjects: Arasaka!Vince

Feb 2nd 2023: The first time I styled Vince to look like he did during his time with Arasaka, vanilla photomode, the only mod I had was one to enter full CC with a shortcut whenever and everywhere. Already pretty cool shot, but in hindsight, the lighting is so bad xD I think I have a version of this edited to death in Photoshop somewhere, but I can't find it atm. PS helped fix the lighting a bit, but yeh... it's still not ideal, but not much you can do about it in vanilla except play with exposure and contrast more in the effects tab.

March 12th 2023: Spawned Vince with AMM, I think the pose is still a basic one that you also have in Photomode though. But his expression is an AMM one, there's custom lights, and I made use of AMM's awesome feature that lets you teleport to locations that are usually off limits (here the Arasaka Counterintel office you only get to see during the Corpo lifepath quest). Already so much better just with some red backlight and a bright frontal light that actually makes his face visible! XD This is also completely unedited!

May 7th 2023: One of my recent faves, post-graphics update, which also made everything look so much nicer in general! I think I had three custom lights (pale blue from the front, bright yellow from the left, and a small white one from top). And I've become a bit less scared about getting up close and personal into his personal space XD

TL;DR: It's a process! We're all starting somewhere, and if you're not comfortable sharing your stuff yet, that's completely fine. It's a learning curve, too, but don't give up :D I think I've really discovered an amazing new creative hobby through this game in the shape of virtual photography (and unlike real people, silly pixel men will hold their pose forever without flinching and I can fly around them and take pics from every angle... but admittedly, getting them to do exactly what I want is definitely a challenge sometimes, cause I can only say "noo, go 20 pixels further in Z direction... noo, too far, 1 pixel back again!! noo, look at Kerry, don't look at yourself, that's weird, stop moving your head around so much!" but when you then get that one perfect shot it's worth the effort and fiddling XD patience really really is key though).

If you ever decide you wanna share some stuff I'd love to see :D and if you need help don't hesitate to reach out! Now I gotta apologize for rambling, but yes :D Have lots of fun with male V and virtual photography :3

[pinbones]

Watched that chubbyemu youtube video about the woman who ate tapeworm eggs to lose weight and was left with some impressions

It's a wonderfully gross watch and i recommend his channel, i just wanna talk abt fatphobia for a sec

- he specifically avoided saying she didn't need to lose weight at any point in the video. in fact he emphasised several times that weight could be reliably lost with a good diet and exercise [citation needed] [this is a whooole thing]

- he seemed to empathise with her at the start when she was having self image issues, a little? but the wording is off and he almost seems to be blaming her for feeling this way, especially when he talked about her 'interpreting' magazines as a reason she should harm her body to lose weight. not a single word is spoken about the existence of fatphobia. he said "for some people the costs are too high" referring to diet and exercise, and only gives this as the reason people risk their health knowingly in order to get thinner. :/

- he said she 'couldn't stick to her extreme diets/exercise' rather than saying diets didn't remove weight from her body. is her failure to stick to diets something he researched in this anonymised case? a guess he made? either way the portrayal of her pre-tapeworm-belief self is one of lack of control and poor nutritional decisions.

- he kinda mocked her for falling for disinformation ("this suspicious post reeked of intense social engineering" ok). disinformation about health is very common and can strike anyone (including doctors!!!) and it's actually something to be delicate and understanding about. but he gently dunks on people a lot in his videos and it's funny so it doesn't super bother me. still, believing that disinformation is a thing that only strikes the stupid makes you more vulnerable to it, it's not silly that she found the info online intriguing when it's how human brains work.

- also the tapeworms did make her thinner. it works, it's just torture :) she continued to take pills even when it caused her daily gut pain because holy crap she wanted to be thinner so bad. i genuinely felt sorry for her :(

- the video contains a lot of footage of her eating, including 'junk food', and draws deliberate attention to it when she is hospitalised (does he have a transcript or did he just decide the fat woman was eating potato chips a lot before she came to the hospital?) also, while it may make sense to include footage of the actress eating, it was the tapeworm pills that made the patient sick, not things she may or may not have been consuming, so several shots of her eating creates an unusual implication that often isn't there in other videos by him. visual storytelling yo.

- he shows a before and after of himself doing his diet where the before pic is still thinnish, and brags about how people have noticed his progress, in a video about a fatter woman's terrifying struggle to become thin that landed her in the hospital twice. classy.

- he really wants the viewers to eat right and exercise. cool. good diet and exercise is good for you, but it shouldn't be treated as an obvious weight loss solution (when it's not) when it should be encouraged for its own sake, not as a cure for something that doesn't need fixing because it's not bad in the first place (fatness). fatphobia will not bring about improved physical health. as the tapeworm consumers have proved, it so often does the opposite.

- although it's entertainment, it carries itself as well-researched and reasonable much like the rest of his channel, and he's open about the fact that he's a doctor. you are led to believe what he says.

Consuming tapeworm eggs is an unbelievably bad idea. But you'd think a video about a woman wanting to be thinner so bad she was willing to do something like that to her body might inspire a look at how fatphobia contributes to this, especially since he mentions contributions to other issues like antibiotic misuse and gummy medicine overdoses in other videos in informed ways. So why not talk about fatphobia at all, or about fatness as anything other than lifestyle failure and magazine cope? You'd think this video itself, at the absolute least, might avoid encouraging the culture and thinking that led to such a drastic decision.

[betelgo0ze]

UPDATE ON MY CAT BEN(short for Obi-Wan)

fair TW I’ve worked with sick and injured animals since I was really REALLY young so this ofc makes me sad but in more or less desensitized but fair warning for POSSIBLY SICK CAT

BEN IS ALIVE! For those who don’t know, my parents got a divorce and he moved in with my aunt who has a few wild cats around her home. I’ve always grown up with wild cats around my yard and me and my nana(who lives with us) has nursed them back to health. I stay with my dad over the weekends btw but now that it’s the summer it’s kinda random but always at least twice a week, my parents are besties so it’s not like there’s a custody battle or anything.

Ben is one of the first cats I met here when he was a kitten and his tongue always hung out so I called him “Blep” but it’s been two or three months now and he stopped blepping all the time and as a joke I gave him a new name as a “reward” for learning how to put his tongue back into his mouth.

like I said in my earlier post, his legal name(once we bring him to the vet) will be Obi-Wan but we all call him Ben since he’s hiding from the galactic empire(my dads aunt is 80 and has 0 knowledge when it comes to Star Wars and gets so confused whenever I say that ben is short for Obi-wan)

anyways, we’re bringing a trap from my moms house to my dads so we can zoink him and fix whatever’s wrong

I think he has a broken jaw? Bc his tongue is back out more than ever

my other rescues all were blinded and each had one eye removed so I’ve always been good when it came to sick cats and I helped put medicine on their goop-covered eyes when I was nine. I don’t want to be a vet but I am well versed in the animal rescuing areas(I’m 16 btw)

just a random update for anyone and sorry if there’s no Grammer in this post in dyslexic and usually rewrite my posts multiple times lol I just wanted to share these cute pics of Ben but also why they might be vital to his survival.

he’ll be fine, it’s probably just a side effect of a sickness but I’ve seen worse it cats he’ll be fine and I’ll update for anyone who wants to know

[sutekh94]

more of prince, the sweet little goober!

+ an update about what's been happening since my last post about him a couple days ago

Basically, Prince is fine, and he's gonna recover well. My neighbor took him to the vet earlier today, and the vet found no major issues with him and gave him an antibiotic he'll need to take twice a week. The only reason I'm not threading this on top of my earlier post is because some of the stuff in that post is almost certainly untrue. Yeah, that thing I said about someone pouring boiling hot water on him? That didn't happen. Thank goodness for that.

For those who didn't read my last post about Prince: Prince went missing for a few days before showing up at my neighbor's house in kinda rough shape. More than likely (this is what the vet thought happened to him and what I initially thought before I heard the "someone poured boiling hot water on him" story), he got trapped and had something caught around his neck, hence all the scars he has there. He also wound up with a slightly messed up leg from escaping whatever he got trapped in. No broken bones, just some strained muscles, and he can still move around okay and put weight on that bad leg. Also he was dehydrated and kinda thin from where he hadn't been drinking and eating much, if anything, over the days he was missing.

I gotta admit. I was an emotional trainwreck through most of yesterday (that's when the pic above was taken) and the time I wrote my earlier post. You can understand how that led to me accepting the "Prince's injuries were caused by someone throwing scalding hot water on him!!!" story without really having evidence for that, just assumptions and hearsay. So yeah, sorry about that. At least I said it was hearsay in my earlier post. On the other hand, just seeing Prince eating stuff, drinking his favorite milk, and even sleeping on my bed made me cry tears of joy once an hour or so.

It'll be another week or so before he gets fixed. Again, my neighbor will take care of that. But hey, I'm just glad Prince will be okay. If he can find his way back home on his own after going missing for a few days and getting trapped in whatever he got caught up in, he can do anything.

Have a bonus pic cause why not. This was taken on August 10, 2021, the day Prince showed up at my back door for the very first time. The picture's not great, but kitty Prince!

[raiiieny]

Was going through my notes and man the duality of my emotions over time :vvv

Gonna leave them here cause i dont wanna loose em *my phone has 0 space* lmao

I miss my lover

But when i saw him for the last time i knew he wasn’t the one i fell in love with. My lover was sweet to me.. cared about my feelings… but now he was just indifferent. His ego got him and he didn’t think twice to abandon me…honestly i knew that but i wanted to test him. I wanted him to prove me wrong.. yet…guess what..saw tinder in his phone and that also explains so many things.. i miss him being nice to me… making me feel wanted, loved… i miss our happy moments but i knw for sure he was not the one when i was deleting all the pics I honestly was doing him a favour. Remembering sad and not so great memories would help us get over each other but the happy ones? They’ll make us feel miserable. I dont have those pics but i have the memories. Which honestly led me to writing this.…*You*.. if you ever read this… trust me i loved you and a part of me idk still misses you..But you pushed me away. You are not mine anymore. A huge part of me wants to forgive you.. wants to see you happy wants to forget everything you did to me but i’d be betraying my self. Moving on isn’t easy especially when ik that my love meant nothing to you..

I feel like i lost someone important to me and honestly i miss you … but what about you? Do you miss me? Or do you feel that i am an horrible person?.. do you feel i harassed you? I was rude? Then what about the past 8 months? Was i not enough back then? if u feel like that.. hah… it further proves you never cared ..

You saw my tumblr posts of how hurt i was yet you didn’t even budge.. you let your ego win. But all these time I sacrificed mine. This one time i tested you. I hoped that you’ll come to me and say “bristy i am sorry please just wait for me a lil bit love i’ll fix this. We can fix this” . You never did. You pushed me away .. i just hope one day you’ll realise what you did. Why you lost me.. i just hope one day you’ll feel sorry for your actions.

Will that day ever come? Idk.. one day i will move on. I just hope i that dont make the same mistake twice. Love made me so vulnerable that i got hurt like this. You asked me that if my therapist said anything about my family….

She made me realise why i am like this. Why i crave for love and attention.. its cause of my inner child issues. I lacked emotional support as a child. That made me how i am today.. You made me feel heard that’s the reason i fell for you. And when you pushed me away stopped caring about me..thats the reason i started to fall outta love.. as simple as that.

Idk if we can ever be friends again.. maybe one day if we do acknowledge our mistakes maybe… dekha jak ki hoi

Note from 13th match 2023 ^

Note from 23rd march 2023 v

You dont have the right to say “i love you” or “i loved you” no . YOU DONT. You never loved me. If you did you wouldn’t have hurt me. You wouldn’t make me suffer. You wouldn’t neglect me cause people don’t neglect their loved ones. All you cared about your self and your ego. You give your self and your friends the bare minimum and you couldn’t even give that to me. You say i hurt you, i was rude to you and I harassed you. THINK AGAIN. YOU HURT ME FIRST. You made ME feel suffocated. For 7 freaking months. You WERE RUDE TO ME COUNTLESS TIMES when i just confronted you shutting my feelings i become the rude person?? Wow. I never let my ego win. I stayed. Told you to act right. But now that I finally stopped i became the new villain. Geeee great. YOU DONT DESERVE TO UTTER THE WORDS OF LOVE. You never did. you reap what you sow so dont play the innocent victim cause you are not. Im done babysitting you. It hurt me 1000 times more to leave you but

Why should i waste my time love care affection and suffer pain when the person doesn’t even give me the bare minimum. The respect? In the end you accused me of things you did. I knew you would do that someday but I wished i was wrong. You proved me right. You made me experience hell on earth. So you dont even deserve anything. You couldn’t even handle/ keep a person like me. So good luck being with someone and news flash you are the problem. Dont ever say that you loved me cause you never did. You loved feeling better because of me. You never loved me. Oh and plus you also cheated on me so YEAH

Before the year of 2023 i prayed so that i can make the right decision and allah removes people who are not good for me and my future. Well this outcome is the biggest evidence that my dua got accepted. Play the victim you narcissist. Cause thats who you are.

[essskel]

Special Guest stars The Witchers of Kaer Morhen as: The Seven Deadly Sins! Featuring Eskel as Envy, Lambert as Wrath, and good old Geralt of Rivia as Lust.

Pray you do not share such weakness.

(Image id in alt text)

Sorry for tumblr’s bad compression pls click for good quality also . Bonus below the cut 👀

[trade-baby-blues]

Cake

Pairing: Jim x Reader 

Word Count: 2643

Warnings: Some swearing, fluff

A/N: Wow I definitely didn’t intend for it to be that long. Also, one day I’m gonna get everything together and start making headers for these posts, but that day is not today. Today I’m going to sleep because I’m currently dying from cramps. Hope you guys enjoy, though! Also, there’s a pic of the bike I mention at the bottom of the fic if any of you are curious. 

You knocked frantically on Jim’s door. Bones was gonna kill you. A few seconds passed without answer and you pressed your ear to the door, listening for movement. Hearing nothing, you pounded on the door again.

“Jesus Jim answer the goddamn door,” you called.

If Jim could've yanked open the automatic door, you're sure he would've. He was scowling deeply, hair sticking up in all directions - the first time you’d seen it anything less than perfect. His shirtless torso was still perfect, though, and those gray sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips were downright tantalizing.

“What is it, Lieutenant? Did you forget we’re on shore leave?”

You swallowed, closing your eyes and forcing yourself to stop thinking about what you’d like to do to those beautiful muscles. “No, I didn't forget we’re on shore leave,” you said, pushing past Jim into his room, “but you seem to have forgotten what day it is.”

“Yes, Y/N, please come in.” Jim shut the door behind him, taking a moment to admire your ass as you bent down to pick a shirt off the floor. “What day is it exactly?”

You rolled your eyes and threw the shirt in his direction before heading to the coffee maker to brew both of you a cup. “It’s Jo’s birthday. We promised Bones we’d be there and we’re already running late. You know Bones’ll kill us if we leave him alone with all those kids.”

When Jim didn't answer, you peered at him curiously, only to find him sprawled over the counter snoring gently. “Jim,” you huffed, “I’m serious!” Jim only groaned in response.

You sighed and turned back to the coffee, grabbing the cup and walking over to set it in front of Jim. You crossed your arms and leaned over the counter, resting your head so it it was level with Jim’s.

You blew gently on his face. “Jim,” you hummed, blowing again. “Jimmy, it's time to get up.”

When you blew on his face again he groaned and pushed your face away. “Don't wanna go.”

“Infant,” you grumbled. With a sigh, you sat up in your chair and changed tactics, turning on the charm instead. You reached across the counter and ran a hand through Jim’s hair, trying to smooth it out. “It’s a shame you don't wanna get up, Jimmy, because Joanna’s not the only one I’ve got a present for today. But if you don't want it…” You let your hand fall to the counter as your voice trailed off. Jim peeked out from his arms and you winked at him.

“Do I at least get a hint,” he asked.

“Let’s just say you’ll enjoy the ride,” you said with a smirk. “Now put on your shirt and some different pants.”

“What's wrong with my pants?”

You shrugged. “Can't guarantee I won't try to pull them off later. Wouldn't want to scar the children.” Jim choked on his coffee as you walked towards the door, sparing him one last wink before heading outside.

You stood with your eyes closed, face turned up to the Sun as you waited for Jim. As much as you loved the Enterprise, there was nothing like having the ground under your feet and wind in your hair.

Jim’s breath caught when he saw you. He’d seen a lot of beautiful things in his time as Captain, but nothing could compare to the smile on your face while the Sun heated up your cheeks. He could hardly hold it against you for waking him up this early.

“Am I interrupting something,” he said.

You opened your eyes, taking a moment to admire the leather jacket and perfect hair. “Stupid perfect hair,” you thought to yourself. “Stupid perfect hair because he’s your captain and this can't happen.”

You ignored his question, reaching behind you to grab one of two helmets resting on the bike behind you. You held it out to him, beaming.

“No way,” Jim said, smile growing, “Shit, Y/N, this bike’s yours?”

“Rental,” you shrugged, “701 Supermoto. A classic, if you ask me.”

Jim ran his hands over the seat and up the handlebars, groaning softly. You tried not to imagine his hands doing the same to you, but God those noises were downright sinful.

“All right, all right,” you said, grabbing the other helmet, “Sorry to break up your little love fest but we do have a party to get to so hop on. You're driving.”

Jim just laughed, pulling you into a tight one-armed hug before putting his helmet on and throwing a leg over the bike. You hopped on behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, definitely not thinking about how you could feel his abs through his thin t-shirt.

“Hope you're comfortable back there, babe,” Jim said. You could hear the smirk on his face. “Bastard,” you thought.

                                                         --------

The ride breezed by and you and Jim were at the park sooner than you wanted. It felt colder as you unwound your arms from Jim, missing the heat of him. The thought left your mind when you heard Bones’ voice from behind you.

“Where the hell have you two been?” You turned to see him stomping up to you. You had to bite your cheek to keep from laughing at the bows stuck at odd angles in his hair. There was a smear of glitter across his cheek.

“Looks like you’ve been holding them off pretty well,” Jim said with a smirk. Bones shot him a glare.

“Sorry, Bones,” you said, skipping up to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Someone didn't want to get out of bed” you said, with a pointed look back at Jim.

“So that's how it is,” Jim laughed, “You're just gonna throw me under the bus?”

A shrill voice cut you off before you could reply. “Auntie Y/N! Uncle Jim!”

You hardly saw the little ball of curls before she jumped into your arms. “Jo-bear!” She giggled at the nickname as you swung her around, blowing a raspberry against her neck.

“No, no, stop it Y/N! Uncle Jim save me.” Joanna giggled as you blew another raspberry, this time against her cheek, before Jim pulled her from your arms and threw her over his shoulder. Joanna shrieked again as Jim pretended to drop her. She punched him in the arm. “You're supposed to be saving me!”

Jim laughed, “You’re right. I’m sorry princess. How about an escort back to your banquet?” Jim hoisted Jo onto his shoulders and made his way to the table. You watched him walk away, Joanna rambling on, and couldn’t help but think that Jim would make such a great father.

“You know, lovestruck’s a good look for you,” Bones smirked.

You glared at him. “Well pink glitter isn't a good look for you,” you teased, pulling a bow from his hair and clipping it in your own. Bones pushed you playfully as the two of you made your way over to the picnic table.

You plopped down across from Hikaru and Ben, “How’d you guys get roped into this?”

“We wanted to come,” Ben said, “Thought it would be good for Joanna and Demora to be friends.”

“Mm, of course. Why are you really here,” you said, looking at Hikaru.

He shrugged, “McCoy promised to watch Demora for a few days so Ben and I could have some time alone.”

“Oh Sulu, turning on the romance.” You wiggled your eyebrows at him suggestively and he kicked you under the table.

“Speaking of romance,” Hikaru said, changing the subject, “how are things going with the Captain?” He nodded his head in Jim’s direction and you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face when you saw him running around with Joanna and her friends.

“She really does have it bad,” Ben said.

“Pfft, I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Horseshit,” Bones said, dropping down beside you.

“Okay so maybe I have the hots for the Captain, but who cares? He's the captain, and I’m just an engineer. It's against the rules.” Hikaru and Bones both snorted.

“Because if there's one thing Jim cares about it's the rules,” Bones said.

“Shouldn't you be on grill duty,” you mumbled. Bones cursed under his breath before jumping back up to check on the burgers. Your scowl deepened as you looked at Hikaru. “Don't start again.”

He put his hands up in defense. “I didn't say anything.” You propped your elbows on the tables and groaned into your hands. Ben was right. You did have it bad.

You didn't have long to wallow before Joanna came bounding up to the table again. “Auntie Y/N! Auntie Y/N! Will you braid my hair?”

“‘Course, pumpkin. Hop on up. You swung a leg over the bench to straddle it, so Joanna could sit in front of you.

“You took Daddy’s bow,” she said as she clambered onto the bench and put her back to you.

You ran your fingers through her hair a few times before starting to braid it. “Yeah, I did but to be fair pink isn't his color. It makes that vein in his neck look even more purple.”

“I heard that,” Bones snapped, making Joanna giggle.

The kids came sprinting back to the table when Bones said burgers were served. Jo made quick work of hers, eager to get to the cake and presents portion of the party but, just as Jo was about to dig in, Jim’s comm went off.

He looked at the number and grimaced. “Sorry, sorry. Won't be two seconds.” You shot him a worried glance as he stood from the table but he just smiled and shook his head, trying to tell you not to worry.

Jo pouted, looking forward to opening presents but not wanting to do it without Jim. You tried to keep her preoccupied by asking her about school, but she wouldn't have it.

“Auntie Y/N, will you make Uncle Jim come back so I can open presents?” She looked at you with the same puppy dog eyes as her father and you sighed.

“Of course, sweetheart.” You kissed her on the top of her head and she went back to drawing in the icing of her cake. It gave you a wicked idea.

You grabbed the slice of cake Bones cut for Jim and walked over to him. He was pacing slightly, eyebrows furrowed but the call ended before you could hear anything. Jim dropped his arms his sides, eyes closed, trying to force himself to relax.

“That bad, huh,” you said softly.

He opened those beautiful baby blues and looked at you. The corners of his mouth twitched up in a half-smile. “They want us to cut off shore leave early. A research vessel got stuck in a nearby system and they need us to go out and get it.” Jim sighed, “I promised everyone a full two weeks this time.”

“Hey,” you said, putting a hand on his arm, “we can worry about that later. Right now we’re at Jo’s party, okay? I brought cake.” You held the plate out to him.

“God, you're perfect,” Jim said, reaching for it. You quickly snatched it back and smashed the cake against his face before bolting back to the table, laughter trailing behind you. The entire table of kids erupted into giggles.

Jim stood frozen a moment, hand still outstretched for the cake. Did that really just happen? He dragged a hand down his face, trying to get as much icing off as he could, before popping a finger into his mouth. It was some damn good cake.

You thought your heart was gonna stop watching Jim suck on his fingers like that. It definitely stopped when he caught you staring from the table and winked at you. He sauntered back up as if there wasn't icing all over his face and God what you wouldn't give to be the one to lick it all off.

“Earth to Y/N,” Hikaru said. “In case you didn't notice, he’s headed this way. You might wanna try evasive maneuvers.”

“What,” you said, not able to tear your eyes from Jim. How was his hair still so damn perfect?

Jim stopped in front of you, still grinning like a kid. “You dropped something,” he said before lunging forward and catching your face with his hands, smearing cake and icing across your face.

You squealed as you tried to push him off, but he grabbed another slice of cake from the table and pressed it onto the top of your head.

You grabbed as much of the cake as you could scoop out of your hair and flung it at Jim, hitting him right in the chest, but Jo was ready, handing him a brand new slice of cake, laughing almost as much as the two of you. You looked at her and gasped at the betrayal before bolting away from the table.

Jim caught up with you easily, grabbing your hand and yanking you to a halt. He swung the slice around as you struggled against him, hitting you dead in the chest.

“Jim,” you whined as the icing dripped down into your bra, “Let me go. It feels so gross.” Jim just pulled you closer to him, trapping you in a hug and smearing icing across the front of both of your shirts. “Jiiiim,” you whined again, trying to push him off.”

“You're cute when you’re whiny, you know that,” Jim laughed, pulling back far enough that you could see all of his icing-covered face.

You reached up and dragged your finger through the icing. “I’m cute all the time,” you said, putting your finger in your mouth. You groaned at the taste.

Jim’s grip on your waist tightened and you looked up at him. His eyes were locked on your mouth. You pulled your finger out slowly, letting pop before licking your lips. Jim’s eyes darted back to yours as he leaned a little closer. “You are cute all the time,” he whispered, pressing your hips together. “Makes it real hard to do my job, you know.”

You grinned, sliding an arm around Jim’s neck and rubbing frosting in his hair. “Somehow I think that's not the only thing I make hard.”

Whatever witty response Jim had got lost in the kiss as you pressed your lips against his. He tasted like peppermint and cake and you could feel every ounce of heat coming off of him. He wrapped his arms tighter around you, brushing his tongue against your lips, but you pulled away. You kissed the corner of his mouth and  licked a stripe up his cheek, settling your lips against his ear. “I think maybe we outta go home and get cleaned up, Captain.”

Jim shuddered against you, fingertips gripping hard enough to bruise against your hips. A wolf-whistle behind you drew your attention and you saw Hikaru standing at the table clapping. Bones, on the other hand, was stalking toward you looking less than pleased.

You pushed gently on Jim’s shoulder, turning him around to face Bones and then ducking behind him.

“Are you two out of your corn-fed minds? You're supposed to be the adults here.”

Jim’s smile didn't break. He shrugged and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “Sorry, Bones, I guess we just got a little carried away.”

“A little carried away. Do you know how long my ma spent baking this cake? And then you just go and throw it all over the damn park! You're acting like-” Bones froze as you chucked a glob of cake straight into his face. You and Jim were laughing so hard you could barely run as Jim pulled you behind him. Oh, Bones was definitely going to kill you.

tags!: @thevalesofanduin @imamotherfuckingstar-lord @outside-the-government @martinawalker

As always, lmk if you want to be tagged or if you want to only be tagged in Jim or Bones fics! Hope you enjoyed reading it!! :) 

Here’s the bike I mentioned: 

It’s more of a sports bike I think, but I was reading reviews of motorcycles and the guy said that this bike made him feel 12 again and I feel like Jim would jump at that kind of chance. 

[marc-spectorr]

hi Callie! My tumblr is stuck on a random fic of yours so I’ll have to fix that later but I had question that’s been marinating for a while!!

Although I’m still new to this whole tumblr stuff, I was seeking some advice for newbies who want to start writing? I’ve always been inspired reading yours and other fic writers’ fics!

I’ve written fics in the past but never published them cus I didn’t know any platforms to post them on back then

One day I might post some and become a fic writer like you!!! Gotta build up that courage and knowledge somewhere first though 🤧🤧

love you always, hope you’re taking care of yourself these past few days 😮‍💨

woo!, moonjin xx

hiya moonjin !!!

sorry for taking almost an entire day to respond ;-; but wowoow i’m incredibly honored that you’ve come to me for advice as well as being part of your inspiration to start writing :))

okay, so i went through my previous asks about writing and tagged them as #writing advice. but here are the most important tips that i would say:

plan out your fic– to make the process easier, i would suggest creating an outline! outlining is a great way to visualize the story you’re telling and plan out any research you might need to do. it doesn’t have to be super detailed or anything. you can just put down what exactly you want to happen from start to finish, note any dialogue you might want to add, or describe the scenes you want to include. 

no matter how many times the idea has been done before, write that fic! when i first started, i remember not wanting to write a fic solely bc there’s already one out there with a similar plot. but don’t let this discourage you! everyone’s writing is one of a kind, which makes each fic special. for example, the best friends to lovers trope is something that’s been done a million times, but your take on it will be unique as it’s your words and your dialogue. 

quality over quantity always– don’t worry too much about how short (or long) your fic is! focus more on how you deliver the story rather than aiming for a specific word count. some writers can produce amazing fics in just under a thousand words. it’s all about the quality of your work, not the length of it. for any first-time writers, i would suggest writing something small to test it out, have a feel for what it’s like and use this to discover your writing style.

proofread your work– this one is obvious, but it’s essential! i know that feeling at the end after typing out the last line of the story. you’re happy that you’ve finally completed it and are excited to post. but don’t forget to read it over once or twice before uploading to make sure your spelling is correct and your grammar is the best that it could be. yes, no one’s perfect. you may not catch every mistake, but you can try fixing most! you can also run it through sites like grammarly to find those errors.

have fun with it– i can’t stress this enough, writing should be fun. remember that you’re allowed to step away and take a break. you can always come back to it once you’re ready! it might seem scary to post in the beginning, but it’s such a rewarding experience when you do. writing takes a lot of time, effort and love, and sharing it with thousands of readers on this platform is an outstanding achievement in itself. so far, this whole community has been lovely and very supportive! i can assure you that they’ll be thrilled for more stories!

hopefully this helps, darling! i can’t wait to read the wonderful fics you have in store for us :) i’m always here if you need any more help!

(also i really love that pic of oscar *swoon*)

[radiation]

gonna post progress pics from my volo painting and write a bit about my process since some1 asked for them!

excluding adjustment layers this has 20 layers in all. i wont show all of them bc some of them just have minor differences but ill show my general progress

sketch. just super loose but has enough visual clarity to be able to work off of and not have to fix issues caused by poor anatomy etc later

background color + painting under sketch. to choose colors, i go on the color wheel and just kinda choose colors freely and almost randomly & paint w them by very lightly pressing with a hard round elliptical opacity brush set to a large size, blending other colors on top of them this way. i dont use this brush the whole way through but honestly i couldve and it still wouldve turned out good

a lot of trial and error but because were doing it so loosely its pretty easy to find something that works quickly (also sorry the painting is so dark at this point oops)

developed painting a bit more and upped saturation in some places using an adjustment layer.

to get a lot of the color variations im getting here, i colorpick from other areas of the piece, ie colorpicking from the face and using it as subtle lighting for the hair, seeing i like how those colors look, and using that as a jumping off point and using a more intense pink for the hair shading. you can also see i got some of the yellowish on the sleeping bag or whatever tf he has on his back from the hair/hat/etc, just brushed it on there really lightly and it looks cool. another place i like to colorpick from is where the sketch overlaps with the colors underneath, it creates some interesting desaturated colors.

you can also see im developing linework a tiny bit here, its pretty early on and a lot of it will be painted over later anyways but i start being like, okay the 3d forms i've been making are working, let's draw on top of the sketch a bit to encapsulate those areas

but yeah uhh definitely a lot of this is just testing stuff out when i'm this early in the painting, i am aaaalways in motion, never stopping and just working off of instinct and what looks cool. and if i mess something up, i can just erase it and i'll have the layer underneath to fall back on.

also im just straight up not thinking about anything at this point unless im trying to closely replicate a reference image, which i didnt do very much. i use reference for eeeeeeverything i make. i took a pic of myself at a similar angle to this and then loosely based the sketch off of it, looked at pics of volo, later on looked at some reference of how ppl paint fabric, grabbed some pics of how i drew one of my ocs who makes a similar expression w his eyes, grabbed images of other digital paintings i'd made! because i wanted to work in a certain style i'd done maybe only twice before. for reference images, i use pureref, which i would highly recommend to any artist, especially ones without dual monitors (like me). basically just allows you to make a reference board and pin it on the very top of your screen

just developed more in the same fashion, then threw a couple adjustment layers over it. i toned back some of these adjustments later but yeah. you can see the lineart really starting to come together, a lot of the color variation on it colorpicked from accidental overlapping colors that ended up looking cool. btw i need to make it clear i do lineart and rendering on the same layers. also i did the stripes on the pack just by using a multiply layer, then giving it more love on the layer immediately above it so it doesnt look cheap

more rendering, got a vignette going w a multiply layer. actually started using reference for fabric folds. theyre really simply done honestly and dont look like. amazing. but they work

painted over the vignette in the background to make it a bit more interesting & not just a gradient, more rendering as usual, threw in some subtle highlights to make it a little more interesting! i probably couldve gone further with them honestly. also decided to do a really subtle outline around him cuz it looks cool. lineart is basically done at this point and this is where i started to think i was just about done

desaturated it a little bit, re-added some details i forgot about, generally fiddled with stuff and corrected some mistakes, added signature. and its DONE. i think this took me about four-four and a half hours? yeah something like that

other general notes:

-probably favorite part of this is the sleeping bag or whatever the hell that thing is on his backpack

-not entirely happy with how i did the fluffy part, it has some really cool color shifts but it doesnt feel like a proper 3d form all the way through to me. definitely pretty 2 dimensional in spots, but i was like eh i dont care enough to fix it

-although i think the pose works well enough, its definitely another example of me using pretty static poses and basic composition in my art. which isnt too terrible but i really need to start getting outside of my comfort zone on that stuff. this definitely couldve looked cooler if i developed the pose more and did better foreshortening but i didnt cuz that shiht is hard to me. im really awful at foreshortening

-on that same note, i worked off of the first sketch i made and didnt warm up beforehand which you do NOT want to do. thumbnail stuff out and make multiple sketches. 80% of the time the sketches following the first one will be better

-IM NOT AN EXPERT lots of stuff i still need to learn dont follow this 1:1

OVERALL im really satisfied with this though especially for how quickly it took me to make it. & i hope this was interesting, lmk if you have any more questions on my process !

[aphrodite1288]

What u didnt get from anon?! They bring a rational thought into ur rumors.. if 1 wants kids (ji) and 1 doesnt (ks) ofc the relantionship will end. Ps. Not every single stupid rumor should be shared, i heard rumors that i wouldnt share with anyone cause i can see how dumb they are and unrealistic by kd living situation.

Need a tissue?

Here wipe your nose it's runny.

Why are u mad at me for bringing up a serious issue that affects your sensitive feels? I'm just honest that's not my problem. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Fix it. You're the one who should be rational here.

Secondly I know you're the same anon ur talking about.🙃

Honey go cry about it somewhere else, I do what I want do not tell me what to do.

Also I told y'all I'll always be honest with you, I told y'all many times that if Kadi are no longer together I'm gonna tell y'all. And the anon asked me for my serious worries regarding Kadi and what they suffer from and I had to answer her because she was very insisting n sending same ask many many times and I've been ignoring it for a while. But hey! I'm sorry if your poor little heart can't take some drama, it's not always butterflies 🦋🦋🦋 and rainbows 🌈🌈🌈✨✨ ✨ in their relationship ✨✨✨ like in any other relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️ they have their ups and downs and their own problems and insecurities.

Oh and I'm not sorry for ruining your day with what I shared. We opened a discussion like we always do on this blog and this happens to be the subject, we love from time to time to analyse serious things regarding Kadi. Now if you want proof that Ji wants kids check the photos below from his interviews since debut, Now would u go cry about it somewhere else?

Here are the times Ji said he wanted kids from 2012 to 2015 to 2017 etc..

Look at the difference between the members (Especially Ksoo and Ji) in what is their plan in 10 years which is Now, since that interview was I'm debut days I think:

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️☝️☝️☝️☝️

Oh and Guess what??

Ji had the need to repeat that he wants to have kids for the second time in the interview when no one asked him, by saying "It would be nice to make Junior Exo" which means he wants himself and the members who clearly didn't talk about kids to have kids 💁🏻‍♀️

I mean he could have NOT talked about wanting to have kids and talk about his plans on improving himself as a dancer and a performer and that he wants to be a famous choreographer or smtg. But no! He decides to bring the matter and TWICE in the same interview.

I'm logical, it's an issue ! And he expressed few times after that (in the upcoming years) that he wants to have kids but the shitty Tumblr don't allow me to post more than 10 pics so go google it.

I don't lie to my Queendom fellas. Even If it's sensitive I bring it up. Idc.

@The_Rational_Queen_Aurore ✨👑💁🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️👸🏻👑✨

[helluva-hurricanes-blog]

Human Fnaf Characters!

Part 2!!

Sorry it took so long. I made this post twice, but it didn't save to my drafts ;-;

Third times a charm? Hopefully

Toy Freddy:

2018-2019 2021

He has been diagnosed with chubby-ness and squishy cheeks! (HE'S SO CUTE NOW)

Toy Bonnie:

2018-2019 2021

He has been diagnosed with gAy

He is a guy, btw, he is SUPPOSED to look like a girl! It's kinda the point 👁👄����

While Bonnie is def a nerd, he's a rocker. I can't see Bonnie being the rocker. I mean, Toy Bonnie literally brings his guitar around everywhere like it's his 1st newborn lol

Toy Chica:

2018-2019 2021

Not much changed tbh

But, I have blessed her with canonical tHiCcNeSs

She's cute too tho

Mangle:

Alas, there is no old version, so I drew fixed mangle for you instead (Toy Foxy? Funtime Foxy? Idk...)

I slightly remember her 2018/2018 variant, I just don't have a pic. It wasnt as good as this one tbh

Also, headcannon: her 2nd head has a name and its Eden. That's what I like to call him. For everyone that thinks mangles a dude, I'll Draw that some other time

Anyway, I don't know where to put him and I want to hurry up and show you guys, so, have a Henry!

This is what I personally think Henry Emily looks like. If you aren't familiar with who he is (read the books) he's the puppets father/owner of Freddys. The puppet is his daughter Charlie (Charlotte) and we learn about her in the silver eyes-the fourth closet. He was also partners with William

Henry is best dad :3

EDIT: here are the new versions

Please leave this old post alone 😭

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

Raise the Stakes, Part 10

Hope you've enjoyed the pic/ inspiration spam I've ben posting! Here's the next section. YOu can find previous sections on the Master List.

Do I have an ending for this coming up? No. I have about 6 and I haven't decided which direction I'm going to go in. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to be able to "pick" an ending until after they have their match at Resurgence next week. But please feel free to message me and tell me what should happen. In the meantime...

Pairing: David Finlay x OFC x Jay White

Word count: 1,943

Content advisory: nothing really, although I guess there's some behavior that could be interpreted as creepy

You’re dimly aware of someone lifting you and carrying you and by the time you get backstage, you’re more or less fully conscious.

“Are you ok?” one of the production assistants comes running over.

“Yeah, I just haven’t had a lot to eat today,” you mumble. “I’m not hurt or anything.”

“I know it’s hot out there with the lights and everything.”

“Really, it’s ok, I just got a bit dizzy.”

The security guard looming over you, the man who brought you back here, looks a little skeptical.

“What happened?”

“You fainted.”

“No, I mean, what happened with the show? I saw that… Switchblade showed up.” You chuckle a little. “Did the other guys beat him up or are they all together?”

The production assistant smiles. “It was pretty cool. They kind of stared down but before anything happened, Juice and David went running out, so them and Callihan cleared the ring.”

“Nice.” You very much like the sound of that. “The good guys got one back.”

“Yeah, I mean Jay hit David and took him out at the end but it was pretty positive.”

“He what?”

“Yeah, after they’d driven everyone off, Jay jumped back in and did his blade runner thing on David. Looked pretty cool.”

Panic sets in.

“Is David ok?”

“I’m sure he is. Maybe his ego’s a bit bruised.”

“Where is he?”

You and David aren’t “out” as anything, you’re not even sure if you are anything, but you don’t care what anyone makes of it because you need to see him.

“I think he’s with the doctor,” the PA answers confusedly.

You’re immediately on your feet, all of your faculties returned, running for the medic’s office. When you get there, Juice tries to grab your arm but you dodge him and go skidding into the room where David is seated on the examination table. He looks at you like he’s surprised to see you.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Fine. Are you? I sort of fainted and… I heard you got hurt.”

He gives you a wink. “Nothing I haven’t felt before. This is just a precaution because I wasn’t expecting the…” He stares at you hard before addressing himself to the doctor. “Could you give us a minute?’

“No problem,” she sighs. “You look fine.”

David thrusts his chin out at Juice to tell him that he should back off too. His partner looks a little unsure but steps back a few paces.

Once you’re alone, David raises his arm, inviting you to come closer. When you’re within reach, he pulls you against him.

“I didn’t know,” you croak. “I had no idea about any of this, you have to believe me, I wouldn’t-”

“Hey,” he says softly, touching your cheek, “if you say you didn’t know then I believe you.”

“This is my fault, though. I made it worse.”

“Stop that. Jay’s an asshole. He always has to be angry about something. I beat him in Japan and you ditched him to come here.”

“For you,” you remind him.

He gives you a sweet kiss and runs his finger along the shell of your ear. “What do you mean, you fainted?”

“I just got dizzy. I haven’t really eaten.”

“Well let’s fix that. I’ll just finish up with the doc and we can go get something to eat.”

“You mean it?” It’s such a relief that he still wants to spend time with you that you feel like you’re going to pass out again.

“Yeah I mean it.” He grins and calls out for the doctor to come back in. She does a quick final check and determines that he can go.

He slips off the table and, as you go to leave, slips his arm around you. You respond in kind and it feels like your body is glowing.

Until you get into the hallway. There he is, talking to some of the guys, laughing away, the arrogance just rolling off him. He glances at the two of you with a sinister expression, his eyes locking onto yours until you turn your head away.

“You should kick his ass right here,” you growl.

David looks at you and shakes his head. “Not worth the trouble.” He gives you a squeeze before continuing, “Now what do you feel like eating?”

“At this point, anything that doesn’t eat me first.”

“I never did get my cheat pizza.”

“I think you deserve it,” you grin.

“So let’s go pick up some pizza. Then we can go back to your place and you can take care of me.”

A broad smile spreads across your face. “You aren’t getting sick of me yet?”

“Not even a little bit.”

He pulls you in front of him and kisses you full on, not wildly but enough to make it clear to anyone who sees you what’s going on. He chuckles when he lets you go and glances down the hallway where Jay is still holding court with his hangers-on.

“Jay,” he calls, waiting until he’s sure he has his enemy’s attention, “you lose.”

*

When you arrive at work on Monday, it’s with a considerable level of anxiety. Things have definitely gotten more complicated. Jay is, after all, a New Japan performer, and as the liaison between New Japan and US promotions, that means you’re supposed to work with him. Even the idea of being in the same room with him makes you shake a little. You and David finally spent a night apart so that he wouldn’t have to get up early when you did, but you’d still been texting until you both fell asleep. Truthfully, Jay hadn’t been on your mind as long as you were with David but now you can’t avoid thinking about him.

What you have with David feels amazing but it’s also new and fragile, a tiny shoot rising up from the soil, still trying to grow and lay down roots at the same time. You want to protect it and you know that Jay wants to kill it off because no one embarrasses him the way the two of you have. You don’t know what he’s planning to do, you just know you have to be wary of it.

For the first part of the day, it’s just backstage people and the production team going through what’s needed for the day’s tapings. Talent will arrive in the afternoon, followed by a small audience. You make your notes on who needs to be where and making sure it lines up with what Tokyo tells you they’re expecting. Some of them have to fly to California to do shows there and you need to make sure the tapings happening in the next few days aren’t going to interfere with any of those plans.

“Did you get it out of your system?”

He pounces on you out of nowhere, crowding you against the wall, eyes incandescent with anger. It’s hours before any of the performers are supposed to be here, which makes it a perfect time for him to ambush you.

“Get what out of my system, Jay?” you gasp, trying to hide how much he’s scared you.

“Don’t be coy,” he hisses. “This little romantic excursion you decided to send yourself on.”

“I told you, I felt like I’d accomplished all I could in the job and so I decided to grab this new opportunity-”

“I know exactly what you did and not because you told me anything. I got your cute little note. Blocking me on social media and everything was an especially nice touch. After everything we’d been through, everything I’d done for you, you didn’t even have the guts to say any of that bullshit to my face.”

“Ok, I should have done that. I owed you that. I apologize and I hope it didn’t cause you any…”

You look into his eyes and just freeze. He’s so sickeningly beautiful and frightening at that moment that there’s nothing you can do, not appease him, not flatter him, not reject him. You were right when you said you needed to get away from him to get over him, you just didn’t expect that he’d refuse to give you the chance.

“Aren’t you cute with your little prepared business speech. ‘I’m so sorry, Jay, I hope you found another person to do my job because that’s all that was going on, just me being your secretary.’ How long have you been memorizing that for when you finally had to see me again?

“You’ve had your fun, your laughs at my expense, but it ends now.”

“How fucking dare you!” Now you’ve found your voice and your strength. “You think you get to order me around like I’m something you own? I don’t work for you anymore. My job is here now. My life is here now.”

Jay straightens up to his full height, regarding you with a smirk. “Your life? Is that what you’re calling him now?”

“I meant just… everything.”

“Aw, David must feel so happy thinking this is where it ends.”

“As far as you and I are concerned, it has ended.” You glare at him. “I love him.”

The soft laugh he gives you is utterly unnerving. “You love me. You’ve loved me for years. Nothing’s changed. You ran off here because you got it in your head that you could make yourself love him, because you wanted to get back at me for whatever it is you think I’ve done to you. And you couldn’t even be around me and convince yourself at the same time that you really want him.”

“You arrogant prick. What the hell do you know about what I want?”

He laughs a little and captures your face with one hand, pressing his lips close to your ear.

“I love how angry you get when you know I’m right. And I love having you trapped like this.”

“Trapped how? I’m going to walk away from you and it’s going to be like this never happened. I’m going to have fun imagining David wiping that condescending look off your face for a few weeks until I finally get to see him do it.”

“Do you seriously think anyone in New Japan is going to think twice about dumping him if I tell them that I won’t work with him?”

“Whatever. He’s doing fine here.”

“Oh yes, he’s doing so well in Impact, the company that’s riding a wave of popularity because they’re working with other, bigger companies. I’m sure they’d stand up for him against all of their partners. I’m sure he’s so much more important to them than being able to work with me or any other real stars.”

He chuckles a little, pressing his face against yours.

“That’s the funny thing about forbidden doors. When they close, they all close at once.”

“Oh, so you’re threatening to get him shut out of every wrestling company just because you’re annoyed he stole your assistant.”

“You sell yourself short. But if you want to put it that way, yes.”

“You don’t have the attention span. You’ll get distracted by someone else you think has wronged you by the end of the week.”

“If that’s how you want to approach this, go right ahead. If I were a betting man, I wouldn’t like your odds of being right but I already know you’re going to do what you want.”

He grips your head firmly and plants a hard kiss on your forehead before backing off and sauntering down the hall as if nothing’s happened.

You were right when you told David he should stay away from you. This is bad.

[destinyc1020]

In other words, he must have known she still loved him.  Either that, or he initiated a breakup?? Cuz I just don’t see how he could be so confident.... 

I had never thought about it like that but maybe you’re on to something... maybe it was him, maybe it was her but he still knew it was something that could be fixed and not exactly because she didn’t love him anymore or something like that... maybe it was mutual? Yes I don’t think he would be this confident, even though he seems like a pretty confident guy and sure of himself, if he thought there wasn’t something there on her end aswell

Call me crazy but I think the thought of getting back together at some time in the future had passed on their minds even when they were broken up...

(Sorry for the late reply) 

Yea exactly. That's what I'm wondering. Because the way that Tom acted (even if assuming he was the one who was dumped) just seemed like someone who still knew that either his ex gf still loved him, OR, that she dumped him due to overall circumstantial reasons, or maybe even possibly due to smthg on his end, but not necessarily because she was over him.

Because otherwise, I can see a guy maybe trying once or twice to try to rekindle things with an ex who dumped him.... but doing ALL of those things? Idk... that's pretty gutsy! 👀

Even if he went off on her about the Jacdaya pics, that's still pretty gutsy as well, cuz 9 months after a breakup, most women would say to their ex: "Ummmm.... we broke up remember? What I choose to do with another man is my business..." 🤷🏾‍♀️ But Tom almost didn't seem to care about what JE would say or think at all rofl. 😅

I also kind of wonder too if they were still in some type of contact w/each other... (even minimally? ) 👀 Which could actually explain Tom’s strong reaction in Feb also.

I'm not sure TZ really did complete "no contact" after their breakup until Feb 2020 honestly. 🤔 Cuz if T & Z were still communicating on some level with each other after their breakup (and there's been at least a little evidence of that), then I can easily see why he may not have been completely over her, even 9 months after a breakup... cuz they might have still been communicating on some level. 👀

I mean, these are two weird exes that were still giving each other gifts, wearing each other's clothes, and sending each other memes even supposedly after their breakup, and then were in contact during the summer after the whole Tolivia incident, and then Z is still saying that they're "close" even after she's been to Greece with her new man lol, and they're still giving each other birthday posts even though they're both with other people lol.....I mean, some of that was probably just to give the impression to the fans that they were still "cool", but still! 🥴

If I saw Z and JE behaving in this way after their breakup, I'd be like: "Hmmm....what is going on here?" 🤔

I mean... is it just me? 😅

[silverkoushi]

haikyuu!! headcanons

⇢ scenario: how you’d spend the holidays with them!! pt.2 | read pt. 1 here! ⇢ feat. : tsukki (karasuno), bokuto (fukurodani) & kuroo (nekoma) x gn!reader ⇢  wc & warnings:  3.3k, slightly suggestive for kuroo

ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ not @ me having the phattest crush on kuroo as you can probably tell here... dear god that man is something edit: omo for some reason the paragraphs got messed up n i just checked it after hours of posting... i fixed it now so hopefully it makes more sense ahh my apologies!! ><

tsukishima kei

୨୧ ˻˳˯ₑ*॰¨̮  idk about you but i think tsukki secretly enjoys the holidays? like he’d think the music is overbearing, the movies are disgustingly cliche, and the amount of people gathering in places is one of his worst nightmares— those aren’t the things that he looks forward to. i think tsukki loves winter, maybe because i see him as a softie who collects sweaters, hoodies, and sweatpants that keep him comfy and cozy during cold nights and chilly mornings! WITH THAT BEING SAID, tsukki dies inside when he sees you wearing any of those following outfits of his. he might get annoyed at first that you don’t ask because he was planning on wearing them that day, but when you show up at his dorm clad in his night blue sweater with a little moon stitched on the side, there are no words coming out of his mouth. he will try to look menacing, eyes in a deadpan expression but you know he’s lying, and just stare at him with a doe-like face and put his hands in yours, swinging it back and forth as you drag him out of his room and into the snowy field. you don’t even think twice about getting matching sweaters because the boy will hate you for the rest of his life, but at least you got him to wear a reindeer headband for 2 seconds in the photobooth!! most of the time, you basically just bring him to anywhere you want to go. you guys look at the humongous christmas tree they placed in the center of the plaza, and you ask someone walking by if you can get a picture of the two of you in front of him. this way, tsukki can’t complain and will be semi-forced to pose with you hehe. you thought he’d just be standing there, arms to his side with a nonchalant expression but you actually feel him put his arm around your waist and lean his head down on top of yours. 

you can’t help the cheeky smile show on your face as you tiptoe just enough to reach his cheek, and once the guy said, “ok one more!” you steal a kiss on the side of tsukki’s small smile. “hey, what was—” “thanks, mister!! happy holidays!!” you avoid his stare, and get your phone back from the guy as you scroll through the pics he took (thank god only a few were blurry). tsukki keeps glaring at you, and you understand he’s not big into pda but uh, he started it with holding you close to him like that >:( “what?? you look so cute here, though!!” you whine to him, hoping he doesn’t ask that you delete it :( tsukki gives it a once over, a warm feeling creeping on his cheeks as he studies the picture: damn, is he whipped for you. he dismisses the overreaction on his part (for once), and takes your hand in his once more, asking where it is you wanted to go next. you’re surprised he left it like that, but you’re taking advantage of this situation and drag him to more festive stuff around the plaza <3

with your parents spending the holidays abroad and working overtime, tsukki’s mom invited you to their place instead and you’re!! more than happy and oh so grateful!! tsukki doesn’t show it but he’s actually extremely nervous,, what if you don’t like his family?? what if his brother is too annoying for you, what if this isn’t the kind of in-laws you were expecting— wait, he’s thinking too far ahead and you’re looking at him with raised eyebrows. quick! he turns away from your gaze, biting his lip at getting caught with his overthinking. “tsukki, you okay?” you ask gently, looping your arm around his as you guys near his house. “yeah…” he responds lamely, and you’re not sure if he wanted you at his house for the holidays or what… but you shake the negativity away and tell yourself that this is an opportunity to show your own personality to his family!! you’re greeted by a boisterous even taller guy at the door, and his also really tall mom waving at you from the kitchen, finishing up the grand dinner. “mom and i thought you were just pretending about your relationship, tsukki~” akiteru nudges him, and you chuckle at your boyfriend’s helpless look on his face, as if telling you this is what i dealt with during my childhood. but the holiday celebration with his family went super smooth!! his mom cooked amazing homemade dishes, and tsukki was actually smiling and laughing along the poor jokes akiteru made, it was so endearing to watch. you asked to help with the clean up as tsukki and his brother play volleyball outside in the cold. 

“i’m so glad he has you,” his mom comforts you, and you nod your head in thanks while you wipe the plates clean. “i’ve never seen him so… cheerful like this, you know?” what a heartwarming thing to say :(( and yet you thought he was just finally letting loose because he’s at home!! his mom turns in early that eve of christmas, and his brother goes out to have a nightly beer sesh with his hometown friends before christmas morning tomorrow. you and tsukki are left alone in his room as you marvel at the many dinosaur related merch, posters, and even stuffies he has in his childhood room!! “don’t say it,” he threatens you lightly, even though you’ve been well-aware of his fascination for the species. a little tired from the trip earlier and ngl you’re both full from the food, you lay down on the floor, pillows supporting your sleepy heads as tsukki shares the other side of his earphones. you listen to calming, lofi music for the night and at some point, he finds your fingers in his again. “thank you for having me, tsukki,” you whisper with a yawn, remembering the night days ago where you cried into his shoulder about missing your own family during this season. tsukki doesn’t respond as he hears your light snoring, and instead turns his body towards you as he caresses the side of your face, smiling at the beauty before him. “you’re always welcome here, dummy. you’ll always have me.”

bokuto koutarou

୨୧ ˻˳˯ₑ*॰¨̮  oof!! so many holiday parties!! gift giving exchanges!! dancing and singing, drinking and having the time of your lives! of course, bokuto asks first and foremost if you’re okay going to all of these celebrations with him as he has gathered a lot of friends from different majors, clubs, and such. you didn’t expect to come with him to all of them, tbh, but since he seems so excited to bring you along you found yourself nodding along! OOPS, what a wild ride it was to meet friends you didn’t even know he had. first, bokuto asked you to help him find some gifts for the exchange parties and you comply— you love thinking up presents for diff kinds of people! “would akaashi want this?” he points at a set of compression socks for sports “you’d want that more, bo” “oh oh!! how about this for kuroo?!” he leads you to the beauty section, hairspray littering the aisle “i think that’s more of an insult than a gift…” he’ll pout at his failure to think of the best gifts for his friends, but you cling to him with your linked arms and tell him not to worry— you kinda figured the kind of people his best friends are, so you suggest things off the bat: film roll for akaashi the photography minor, a mug with a pun-ny chem joke for kuroo, and a new case for kenma’s switch lite!! “wah! you know them better than i do,” he exclaims, eyes shining in excitement as you bring the gifts and other extra stuff to his apartment to help him wrap them. with this, bokuto came up with an idea to wrap the presents in the most creative way possible, and you just stare at him in awe as he tries to disguise the mug as.. a gingerbread man?? you don’t even know how he did it! as you tape up the finishing touches with the others, you eye a small gift wrapped box on the island counter along with a card next to it, all glittery and a name scribbled on top that you can’t make out where you were seated. 

“hey, bo, who’s that for?” you point at the suspecting box, and almost immediately bokuto body slams you on the ground, obstructing your view of the gift. “bokuto i can’t breathe—” you wheeze, laughing at the way he scrambles to get up from the position but his feet slips against the unused wrapping paper on the floor. “sorry, sorry i just— STOP LOOKING” he pleads, caging you with his arms either side your figure. the both of you pause, realizing the predicament you’re in until bokuto unleashes a sly smirk, eyes pointed at you with a mischievous glint. you know that look, so you start wiggling out of his way until he plops down on you again (mind you, he’s MANY inches taller than you and his built...whew, but that’s part of the problem right now!!) and blows raspberries on your neck, the audacity!! “tell me,” he whispers against your ear after a while, voice suddenly low in tone and your senses perk up. “have you been naughty or nice recently?” he continues hoarsely, and it doesn’t take long until you burst out laughing at his attempt of being flirty right now. he finally releases you, feigns hurt from your reaction but he knows what a goofball he is.

anyway, you put all the gifts in the car and head to the many parties he was invited to!! and honestly, you enjoyed yourself albeit it got really tiring to show up with much enthusiasm compared to the last. but bokuto on the other hand never runs out of energy for some reason!! he’s still winning the games, singing his heart out with his friends, and trying all the foods in the potluck, even shamelessly!! feeding you too! it’s embarrassing >< but in a way your heart swells with the thought of bokuto being very openly proud of his relationship with you, and how his friends seem to like you as well! pictures were taken, holiday spirits and gifts were exchanged and finally, he’s free for the night <3 you’ve been waiting for the right moment to give him your personal gift to your boyf (it’s an edited picture of the two of you at one of his winning games!! you can’t draw for sht but you are the best at adding lil stickers and cute petnames all around the photo hehe) you had it inserted in a picture frame too so the gift was relatively medium sized and rectangular. when you crash at his place, you ready yourself to give it to him, having second thoughts with how corny it must seem like… as you psych yourself up on the couch, you feel his arms suddenly wrap themselves around you as he starts peppering your neck with lazy kisses. your chest tightens, eyes closed at the warmth of his lips on your skin but— you can’t get distracted!! “bo, i have something for you—” “i saved the best gift for last—” o, you say it at the same time and so you look at each other with blank stares, and then laugh at your awkwardness!! 

he lets you go first, your nerves slowly dissipating at the excited gleam in his irises, he’s so cute!! as he unwraps it, he hitches a breath, looks at you then the picture and you again and— let’s say your face was just full on bokuto territory only ;-) as much as you were enjoying his attention all on you, his gift wasn’t opened yet!! bokuto went from confident to shy mode again, hiding his face with only one eye peeking out to watch you…. for some reason, since it was a tiny box you blurted out, “don’t tell me it’s a ring, bo.” as a joke but bokuto suddenly freezes at your words. and you had to stop unboxing to make sure he doesn’t go all pale on you, but also??? was he really???? GOING TO???-- “DID YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU A RING?? I CAN RETURN THE EARRINGS TODAY, I THINK I STILL HAVE THE RECEIPT—” “bo, it’s okay!!! omg no T_T” you take his hands off his face to look at him lovingly, a kiss on his pouty lips as you reassure him his presence is all that you can ever want, but whatever it was he gave you, you’ll cherish just the same!! so finally, once you take the lid off the box you see an adorable pair of owl earrings!! it’s so cute and it reminds you of him and thats probably why he got that for you :’)))) “i also wrote you a letter but please read it when i’m asleep or something…” aww shy bokuto!! >< you never thought you’d see the day :’)

kuroo tetsurou

୨୧ ˻˳˯ₑ*॰¨̮  man.. i just know this guy wouldn’t want to let leave… the bed… with him… on christmas day. imagine something like having to stay until he can for his duties at work which ended up til late christmas eve :( you were looking forward to spending time with him back at his hometown since you don’t necessarily celebrate the specific holiday, but being with tetsurou for almost a year now and knowing he does— you wanted it to be special and memorable for him! he felt really bad making you stay at his apartment until he finishes up work, really zooming through all the documents and stuff he needed to complete just so he can spend at least a few hours of christmas eve with you. when he got home, his heart dropped to his stomach at the sight of you falling asleep on the couch, right next to the lit up christmas tree you two decorated a week ago (thats how busy he has been! you opted to fix the tree yourself, but tetsu insisted on doing it together since it’s your first holiday with him!). your favorite blanket was wrapped around you but your feet were dangling midway with no socks on and he just >:( had to carry you to bed and tuck you in— all of you!! 

he changes to a sweater and pjs before readying himself to carry you against his chest. his own body is exhausted from working non-stop, but he doesn’t let it get to him as he passes by the hallway and plops you gently on your side of the bed. you stir groggily, eyes refusing to open but you notice your surroundings are different. the room is dimly lit but the figure walking around the place isn’t amiss; with his hair sticking up and his wide shoulders, you know it’s your tired boyfriend finally home for the holidays. you smile, still sleep-induced but you try to reach over for him. “tetsu… come to bed, please,” you mumble but he hears you, and his back is against you but he smiles at your half-awake tone. “i’ll be right there,” he lets you know softly, and true to his word you feel the dip in the mattress with his warmth slowly exuding onto your own body, his hands easily finding themselves over you. you wiggle into his grasp, head against his chest and hands holding onto his waist. he feels warm, he feels like home, and you press a kiss where his neck meets his collarbones. “mm, merry christm…” you mutter, losing consciousness but he doesn’t mind. he lets you snore your way into dreamland, watching your eyelashes tickle the surface of your skin, lips partly open as you breathe in and out. suddenly, his tense muscles relax with your presence oh so close to you, and he sleeps soundly after a few minutes of admiring your face.

as the sunlight filters thru the windows, kuroo wakes up first but knowing it’s his day off (finally), he relaxes into the bed and just observes the tiny details of your face, same as the night before but with some of the brightly shining rays of the sun hitting the right spots— you’re breathtaking to him. he feels you stir in his embrace so he pretends to snore because he knows you like to get up as soon as you feel awake. “tetsu…” you mumble, popping out your head from his grasp to peer your eyes at him pretending to not hear you. “you’re a lousy liar, i know you’re up,” you tell him, rubbing your nose against him as a form of an eskimo kiss. it takes so much out of his restraint to bite his lip in pure love for you, so he gives in and kisses you on the lips. 

you are taken aback for a split second until you comply to his request, and you spend your first christmas morning with him in bed just like that <3 he still asks if you guys can spend the whole day just tangled into each other’s embrace but you lecture him playfully, knowing that he had a christmas party to attend to in the afternoon with his closest friends (bokuto, akaashi, kenma, and others) and you have a lovely dinner planned in the evening. he wiggles his eyebrows, fingertips tracing the exposed skin on your chest, “what if we skip all of that and i just have you for dinner instead?” “KUROO TETSUROU IT IS TOO EARLY FOR YOU TO SAY THAT RIGHT NOW—” you swear to god, it is his teasing and malicious intent that will kill you one day. but the blush on your face doesn’t go unnoticed, and yet kuroo complies with your light nagging, getting up and getting ready for the day. you’re happy that he finally has the day off, and being with his friends during the party truly lightened up his mood. afterwards, he then asks where you got a reservation during the busiest time of the year, and you just winked at him and zipped your mouth. 

since you ate a bit at the party, you knew you had some time to finish prepping the food you had prepared the night before, it all just needed to bake or be cooked on the pan. and bec of his exhaustion last night, he didn’t even open the fridge at all so there were zero suspicious at your surprise dinner. urging him to take a long, hot bath, he drags you with him. “you seriously want me to take a bath by myself?” he says in shock horror, and normally you would join him hah but you tell him that your parents are calling, just wanting to say hello. a little sad, kuroo nods in understanding and so he goes about his way while you cook the food with haste. he likes to take his time in there but you know you won’t finish beforehand, so once he’s out of the bathroom, you immediately go right in front of him to hide the view of the kitchen. you played yourself, seeing kuroo only in his bathrobe with his chest exposed, you slap him right at the center to ignore the sensation in the pit of your stomach. “what?? what’d i do???” “existing right in front of me like that!!” kuroo laughs at your embarrassment, but kisses you on the forehead nonetheless. he ignores the obvious smell of pasta and chicken in the apartment, ignores the messy apron you forgot to take off because he thinks you really wanted to surprise him. so he goes to the room to change, thinking about how lucky he is to have you in his life. the rest of the night ends up with the both of you having a romantic dinner in the dining room, talking about everything you already know about each other—but it never feels repetitive. he always feels so renewed with you, falling in love every day. 

[emeraldbabygirl]

Not that anyone fucking cares and not that I even want to be on this hellhole site but I finally found my stupid fucking masterlist. I’ll find a way to stick it in my bio if anyone is interested. I have to update it and hopefully that won’t fuck it up. I have a few more fics to add and some other the other random bits that I need to link that tumblr never lets me. I’m relieved that I finally found it, I think that was the last missing tumblr post I found. I’m always gonna keep it in my drafts and I’ll make sure to leave a link back to it in all my pieces in case this buffoonery happens again.

Unfortunately as far as actually continuing any works I already had started of making any more fics I think I’m done writing. I haven’t had the motivation, the energy or the patience to write anything in months. I’m really sorry to the people that are still into my blog and works and I know a lot of you wanted more of that Sehyoon smut and a second part to Field Mouse and I’m sorry to let you down. I’m still keeping my ideas and wips in my drafts and notes because I want to leave the chance that I might pick up writing again open but rn I’m definitely not writing anymore and I won’t be for a long time. I thank all the people that enjoyed my works and I appreciate the support especially since I’m not good at writing in general and smut has been an adventure. I have been told that my writing got better so I’m glad about that.

Some other notes I’m fixing some bugs in my settings as well as changing the asks and submissions function, because it’s a common thing for people to take advantage of asks being sent on anon I’m disabling that. I was thinking about just completely preventing anyone from sending asks or submissions and then going as far and preventing comments and reblogs on some of my posts but I don’t want to be that person that doesn’t allow others to talk and express their opinions no matter how I take it and no matter what they say cause getting your feelings and views off your chest is very important and I don’t want to close off my blog from that but I will no longer be having an anon ask set up. This being said I do apologize to anyone that has used anon because they are shy and don’t want me and others to know who they are and I hope that doesn’t prevent you from still liking my content and enjoying my posts. Another thing is while searching for my masterlist I did have a fun time looking through a small amount of my blog content, old posts and gifs and asks and just fun stuff when my tumblr was booming and it’s fun to look back and see the variety of posts I had, so many gifs and pic of all kinds of idols. I know I’m into a lot of groups but this lil adventure really put it into perspective. I mean between me and my sister we stan, (well know of and listen to) over half the industry.

One last thing, I have posts scheduled til Monday so all the posts with the “she can’t come to the phone rn” tag is all being posted through queque because I’m not dealing with tumblr or anything on this site rn I’ve truly had it with some people and I’m finally taking a break for my mental and emotional health cause I’ve been through it this last week so I’m just not dealing with anyone. I’m just fucking exhausted and I’m sick of the same shit. Also tho, while we’re at it, I got a message that someone used to like my blog but now anymore because they were upset over a post I made and so I will say this once again cause it’s beyond. If you don’t like my posts, if you don’t like my blog, my content, me as a person all I ask is that you click that unfollow button and if you really think it’s necessary block me. It’s literally the dumbest thing to tell someone you don’t like them or their content like why are you wasting both our times? It’s just the logical response to unfollow and it’s so simple it’s just a click and you’re done. And this isn’t just for followers, if you are one of my mutuals and you don’t like me anymore, it’s the same thing. Be honest about it because for me, cause I’ve been through this twice already, it hurts me more when someone, especially if it’s one of my really close mutuals, there’s like 5 of you, and you just fake like me cause you don’t want to hurt my feelings instead of coming out and saying “hey we’re done here.” I’m clearly used to everything that is thrown at me and I don’t want you to feel like you have to like me anymore. If I do something that directly or indirectly upsets you, if there’s something I say that you don’t agree with and you feel like it’s enough to break the friendship we have you can either tell me what I did or have done or you can just be on your way. All the time I want all my mutuals and followers to like me and support me but hey, if it’s not working out it’s not working out and it doesn’t get any simpler than that. Like my last two mutuals, I am still thinking about you guys and always will and I will always cherish the memories and the fun times and all the talks and adventures we had. I’m not the type of person to get forget about someone I want to be able to look back and be grateful that y’all were here for a good time and not a long time lmao. I think that about does it for this post and this blog for a while.

[wikiangela]

my thoughts as I was watching the episode (didn't feel like doing multiple posts, felt easier to do just one lol):

awww Dean has a dog 😍

Dean trying to make his bed cracked me up ngl

actually it's funny seeing them do such ordinary things lol

this dog is so cute I can't 😩😍😍

"Pie Fest" 😂 "this is my destiny" okay 🤣 so dramatic over pie, but that doesn't surprise me 😂

Sam THANK YOU for mentioning Cas (and Jack) 😭

Idk but I'm kinda loving that Dean's trying to live his life? "If we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing" I mean that's true 🤔 (even though I'd love to see Cas back but not getting my hopes up)

pie in the face lol and Sam's laugh is so great haven't heard that in too long

(this post is gonna be long af 😂 it's been just 5 minutes hah)

"Singer and Kripke" aw cute

vamp-mimes cracks me up every time, even though I saw the sneak peak before 😂 and he's so serious when he says it hahaha

I cannot stress enough how I missed that about Dean

okaaay so vampires. cool.

is that the trenchcoat in the trunk? is it? it looks like it? IS IT? or am I just imagining things??!! I paused and I've been looking at it for like five minutes trying to figure out if it's the trenchcoat wtf (I mean would it even make sense? Cas was taken in that trenchcoat? unless he had a few? And, I mean, he had, right? it's all so blurry in my mind now, I need answers)

Sam, let Dean have fun for once, geez 🙄😂😂😂

I don't remember that girl (Jenny, was it?) (okay, I googled it, and I still don't remember her and what happened with her haha all I know is it was in season 1 so 💁‍♀️)

oh nevermind, she dead now (dead dead) so whatever

as soon as I saw the metal thingy (I'm an English major but somehow I can't remember what it's called in English or in my native language??) I knew what was gonna happen but...

NO DEAN BABY WHYYYYY 😭😭😭 he can't die like that noooooo

he's like, accepting that he's gonna die? omg I'm crying 😭😭😢

I'm literally sobbing right now and how is he dying its only been 20 minutes of the episodes what the fucking fuck how am I supposed to get through 20 more minutes

"don't leave me" omg Sammy 😭😭💔💔💔

"I can't do this alone"

"yes you can't"

"well, I don't want to"

where have I heard that before? 🤔😭😭💔

"I love you so much my baby brother" is that the first time Dean said that to Sam in the show? I'm pretty sure I don't remember him saying that before - and I am crying so hard I can barely see what I'm writing thank God for autocorrect 😅

nooo Dean 💔💔😭 my favorite character since the moment I saw him and now he's dead and I wasn't emotionally prepared for that and how am I supposed to just go about my day later this is the worst why are they doing this I hate how attached I got to this show and the characters FUCK

And my mom called me just as Sam was about to burn Dean's body and I had to pretend like I'm okay. I WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MORNING BEFORE I DECIDED TO WATCH THE EPISODE FUCK

so Sam's alone now, with the dog

but my question is: What the hell happened to Eileen? weren't they, like, in love? didn't she come back? (I feel like we actually don't know so I'm seriously asking) why isn't she there? wtf if I don't see Cas or Destiel, at least let me see my girl Eileen at the end 😭 and Sam being happy with her

baby's grieving and I cannot stand to see him so sad SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG (or me, I could use a hug too 😔)

I physically cannot stand seeing Jared cry - I feel like I'm literally falling apart

WHY IS THIS SO SAD wasn't it enough that we have to say goodbye to the show? couldn't those be happy tears about a happy end? THEY DON'T DESERVE THIS

okay, "agent Bon Jovi" made me chuckle through tears, I LOVE DEAN SO MUCH

lights out in the bunker made me cry even more

DEAN'S IN HEAVEN

BOBBY

OG BOBBY

ARE YOU KIDDING

idjit 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I missed him much more than I expected omg

"that kid of yours" I. am. not. okay.

Jack setting things right, I love it ❤️ thank you for Bobby 😭😭😭

"everyone happy, everyone together" is it everyone though?🙃

"the Heaven you deserve" DAMN RIGHT HE DOES

"CAS HELPED" I CANNOT HANDLE THIS

right now I would just like to take a second to appreciate how fucking hot and handsome and beautiful Jensen is because I needed to pause and calm down a little and focus on something else

and Jensen is fucking gorgeous and Iove his fucking smile and his fucking lips - you know, when I started watching it, for about the first season I had to rewind every time Dean was talking because I couldn't focus on anything but his lips hahaha good times, wish I could forget about this show and watch it all over again and get supper annoyed at everything all over again but I still love this show more than any other even though I've been watching it only for the past 2 years haha

I think I'm good, back to watching:

I don't think I can express how I missed the og Bobby ❤️

AND BABY'S THERE OH YEAH

that smile, Dean/Jensen ugh you're killing me

"Hey Baby" ❤️❤️

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE

AND I JUST STOPPED CRYING AND NOW IT STRTED AGAIN AAGGHCHFJHSH

"love this song" me too, Dean, me too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

(wow, too much emojis, bitch, chill)

baby Dean that's too much

and Sam seems so happy 😭😭

but who's the wife, please tell me it's Eileen, I miss her where is she that's not fair

Sam as a dad is just so precious and cute and so fucking great I can't 😭😭❤️❤️ love that for him ❤️

but why aren't there any pics of Cas and Jack? C'mon, Sam 🙄 (I mean, there surely were some pics of them, we know for a fact there was at least that one Cas picture in a cowboy hat so there should me more ugh)

"it's okay, you can go now" why are doing this to me again

I mean, I'm happy that Sam got to live his life to the end and died of natural causes or old age or whatever

brothers togheter again 😭😭

I'm a mess

also, let me just ask, WHERE'S THE ANGEL

WHERE THE FUCK IS CAS

just a cameo at the very end would be great

"and cut" this made me cry again fuck

so that's the end, huh? brothers together again, in Heaven?

well, I choose to believe that at some point they reunited with Cas, too and that's that

overall, it was not what I expected, and I didn't have much hope for destiel but I hoped for some acknowledgment of his confession by Dean or at least a cameo

I mean, he's been one of the main characters for so long and they didn't even have him in the finale? and he was mentioned literally twice?????!?? FUCK YOU WRITERS

so, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it that much, is was meh, It wasn't a good conclusion to the show and I'll be bitter about Cas till the day I die and I didn't like how Dean died, I mean, he was literally impaled, in my opinion it wasn't "going out in the blaze of glory" like he always wanted

this is a long post, I'm not even gonna reread before posting, but those were my genuine reactions haha

if you read it, wow, I'm so sorry haha

now I need to lie down and cry before I can function again and do my homework so that's fun

I'll see y'all in your notes as I reblog every fucking thing about 15x20 😊👌

just one more thing at the end:

THIS SHOW RUINED ME AND I STILL LOVE IT WHY AM I LIKE THIS

anyway, I'm gonna go cry now hahahaha I'm not okay

I'm gonna live in denial about Cas not being there haha

I hope the rest of the spn family is holding up somehow because I'm losing it and I need some fix it destiel fics asap

okay not gonna make this longer haha

bye, have a good day 🙂👍❤️ (don't mind me, I'm losing my mind)