#also sorry for the lack of posting I have been doing a Lot of project prep work as of late

[slushiesandshowtunesat3am]

I agree with everything you’re saying, but you also have to remember that a lot of fic writers are younger and just starting out with their writing, not to mention sharing their work for free. Don’t get me wrong, I find it annoying when a reader is suddenly described with blue eyes and chest hair, but stuff like blushing or running fingers through their hair are common tropes and probably just picked up from books they’ve read. There’s definitely a lot of issues with racism and misogyny in fandom culture, but going after fic writers for making mistakes isn’t the way to go about fixing it imo.

Ps. I’m sorry you’ve been getting all those nasty anons

Okay lovely, so I'm going to address this as gently as possible. I know you're coming from a good place, so I want this to feel like a conversation, and not me just telling you off. So let me see if I can explain my point well. And thank you for your kind words regarding the anons.

In my original post, or at least my second, I did make sure to highlight that I do appreciate the writers on Tumblr overall.

The writers of this app are a huge backbone of it. If not THE backbone of it. They raise communities and open avenues for joy, comfort, shared pain, and creativity that has a lasting impact for years. And the fact that they do it for free? It's heartwarming, it's heart wrenchingly beautiful. We know this. We love it.

But, my post wasn't targeted toward young writers specifically, or those who are just feeling out writing and getting an understanding of what works and what doesn't.

It was to address the fact that I am not the first reader that has expressed annoyance and hurt over the lack of diversity in the fiction on this app, and that it's starting to feel like writers who have been on it for years are deliberately ignoring us.

As well as the fact that (and I know it may seem like a used up argument) it is 2024. Now we have seen, due to recent events, that means less and less in terms of social progress, but there has been so much work put into artistic projects in the past few years to show why diversity and even basic inclusion is so important, and how a few small changes can make a difference.

My posts thus far are to, at the core of them, raise awareness on those ideas and attempt to make even a miniscule difference.

When I first made the post, I was met with amazing writers, new and old, who reached out to me asking for advice on how to make their work more inclusive!

That's why I did what I did.

Because if there are even two writers who see that post and think, "Wow, I don't want readers of color to feel that way when I write, let me revise, " then we have strengthened our writing community as a whole and made a creative space more welcoming for the next generation of writers and readers alike.

[kagooleo]

wip I forgot to post earlier on in the week but lyraaaaa 👑

[fondcrimes]

the "labru chapter" is the kabru chapter

this is a dungeon meshi love manifesto, but not in the way you think. sorry not sorry for the labrubait

what makes chapter 76 so amazing is kabru’s desperation has little to do with laios specifically. it’s not just about kabru being obsessed with laios and making sure he doesn't cause tragedy, either. I think this chapter emphasizes kabru's struggle with the concept of love and companionship. the point of this chapter is that every critical part of kabru collides at once and renders him useless.

(disclaimer: this post includes a lot of projection/speculation but it's to understand kabru's character arc i promise. for clearer analysis and examination of how kabru's ideologies are constructed, check out this really great post)

kabru is a lone visionary

in ch 76, kabru’s threatened by lycion exposing his true intentions to laios not only bc he wants to prevent laios from joining marcille in her destruction, but also bc laios is also from a short-lived race and kabru needs an ally in his power struggle against elves (esp when the chips are down)

but has kabru really accepted his need for allies in his plight? kabru has spent his adult life suppressing a human urge to connect meaningfully with others. he even keeps rinsha et al. at arm's length in the name of achieving his masculine hero complex/survivor's guilt goals. he's already quite disillusioned bc most adventurers don't have the same goal as he does. so he uses people and gets on their good side for systematic support. he’s well-intentioned and takes care of his party. but the idea that an ally could also protect HIM and make HIM feel safe as well doesn’t really register with him until later on in the narrative bc camaraderie and allyship, at its core, is about acknowledging intimacy. kabru struggles with intimacy sub-textually (his self-neglect and social insincerity) even though he knows how to simulate it to gain others' trust.

but he can’t crack laios, he can’t get him to listen. for lack of a better word, kabru is spoiled by the fruits of his superb perception and emotional intelligence. he also doesn’t cope well with failure (bc his goal is too valuable to ~not~ devote himself to) he puts too much value in conquering laios and when he thinks he's failed, he basically crashes out. the real problem is he still doesn’t understand his true feelings--not feelings for laios, but the root of his desire. the root of his goals and the endless search for companionship.

kabru is a strategic historian

at his core, kabru is a storyteller. he tells himself a variety of stories about his trauma and his goals, which serve as motivation and to some extent, self-protection (as shown in his conversation w mithrun). he deeply understands the role of storytelling in regards to the construction of history and drastic shifts in power.

as an utayan, he understands that the tragedy that overcame his people was not random, but resulted from elven negligence of a disenfranchised people. it is imperative for kabru to cement himself as a voice for otherwise voiceless people. in his story, he has no choice but to handle the hero, if not become the hero himself.

kabru even has a story about his pursuit of laios, mainly that laios is currently the most capable person of defeating the mage and that he must do whatever it takes to ensure laios doesn’t fuck it up. his instincts are right, sure, but at first, he places special value in laios’ capabilities that almost seems unearned… like yes he’s studied the island adventurers with frightening expertise, so it makes sense he would have a good idea about who is the most equipped to succeed. but his early suspicions of the toudens seems to complicate my perception of his knowledge by adding emotional depth and a layer of tinhattery so to speak.

canonically, kabru has been rebuffed by laios multiple times (which is so... lolll) when he's talking with his party, kabru hides behind the excuse of dungeon but he’s been trying to get his attention this whole time. to me it reads like he's got a bruised ego from being ignored and is being a hater about it (so real lol). it's funny bc kabru is usually great at taking shit from others (esp elves) if it means nobody suspects/interrogates his true intentions and he can keep the peace. so why does laios tick him off so bad? now we have to get into the psychoanalysis of it all!

kabru is a cynic

first and foremost, kabru’s cynical philosophy about humans is challenged by the touden mission. but plenty of people don’t care about the impact of their actions, so why does kabru obsess over the toudens at the start? I figured kui changed gears with kabru's characterization following his introduction, but I want to try to connect it to kabru's unresolved survivor's guilt. kabru is the sole survivor of a catastrophe caused by negligence and oversight. he criticizes the negative impact of the toudens' generosity and naïveté and confirms his cynical worldview (the road to hell is paved with best intentions), but still maintains a level-headed perspective. on the other hand, kabru's interactions with laios are tinged with irrational jealousy/resentment/desperation, even prior to kabru learning laios' character/intentions as an adventurer. I cannot emphasize enough that I am employing a neutral definition of jealousy here--it seems kabru is jealous of the freedom to not care the way laios does not care about the fate of the island. this isn't to say laios doesn't care about humans, he does, but he seems so singleminded compared to kabru esp in ch 76. kabru sees laios going to the literal end of the world to save his sister. laios gets to be human selfishly, kind-natured but ultimately self-prioritizing.

kabru correctly assesses motives (besides his own maybe). falin said she’d do anything to protect laios and marcille. laios has been socially rejected by people his whole life, and at first, he only cares about his sister and monsters. kabru has survived horror but only by accident… he doesn't agree with their pov and more importantly, it doesn’t exactly compute with him. the toudens are wholly unaware of their impact, which does not sit well with kabru at all, who understands the impact of negligence better than anyone else, esp how it ends up harming the less fortunate and extremely marginalized in society. it's reminiscent of the age-old trolley problem. while kabru has been the victim of senseless pain, I suspect kabru can’t yet make sense of senseless love. he gets to look down at their cause and call it selfish because it directly contradicts his lived experience.

kabru is an ethicist with a heroic streak

it's easy to glean that kabru wants to be the hero utaya should’ve had. while he's hardcore and intense, but not paranoid enough to do something rash. he uses violence as a means of achieving peace. he's self-aware enough to know his skill limits, which seems rational at a glance but the pressure he puts on himself suggests he views himself as inadequate until he achieves his goal. the races of humans are so split up and he sees that this is a matter of power first and foremost.

with the canaries, kabru submits to political pageantry to make a separate case for innocent people. senseless tragedy is unforgivable, but so is the "too little too late" reality of the canary system. he takes on the impossible task of rallying people together to save the dungeon. one read is that he's saving his childhood self from trauma perhaps by saving those like him… he's wishing someone did something before it got bad, wondering why nobody intervened when they had every opportunity to step in. it’s deeper than a sense of duty or fairness, this is about betrayal and retribution.

throughout his life, kabru struggles with the material inequity and limits of love. the human population is fundamentally segmented into a hierarchy due to lifespans and access to power/resources. his mother was the only one who loved him in utaya and she was ostracized because of his appearance and then she was killed due to senseless tragedy. his frustration with the elves encapsulates this idea perfectly, because he is aware of of the limits of their empathy as a long-lived race and adjusts his strategy and rhetoric accordingly. I think milsiril’s love for kabru is genuine, but still infantilizing and smothering due to the racial imbalance. this continues to inform his politics, as he views their perception of short-lived races with contempt. the worst offense is that their bigotry is nonsensical, meaning their hearts cannot be reasoned with.

dungeon meshi is a story about power and politics, yes, but genuine love and acceptance are the catalysts of change and equality. the "invisible gulf" that marcille is referring to is the inability to view other races with love and care. such is the essence of camaraderie. kabru's backstory, family history, and beliefs/motivations raise two important questions for me: who gets to be loved enough to survive, and then to thrive?

kabru is a monster

the emphasis on distinguishing between humans and monsters is quite interesting too. of all sentient beings, who qualifies as worthy of "human" treatment? who deserves empathy and acceptance? kabru seeks these answers to fix the world, but also to justify his place in it.

kabru's lack of self-worth is evident here, but what’s more interesting is he knows many humans suffer worse fates than some monsters. the dehumanization/neglect of fellow humans does not compute, if the premise is humans are superior to demi-humans/non-humans because mutual empathy and understanding. he clings to the superiority of humanity as an appeal to ethos to those in power despite what he might actually believe about himself. to kabru, the true injustice is that humans won’t even save “inferior” humans despite being the same. his unclear heritage manifests as guilt, as he feels directly responsible for his mother's suffering because he is monstrous. then here comes laios, a human who somehow can find it in himself to love monsters.

kabru doesn’t want laios to love him, per se, but laios’ love for monsters and for falin reveals life-altering possibilities for kabru: there is a world where someone could love him even if he were a monster. there is a world where somebody would go to extreme measures just to save him. kabru does not know the extent of laios' trauma but recognizes a sort of kindred spirit but inverse. taking off the ship goggles here--it has less to do with laios specifically, and more to do with what his beliefs/abilities represent for the trajectory of the world (because kabru studies how beliefs/abilities manifest into material reality, after all)

kabru is seeking the power of love

in a different story, kabru would be laios’ archnemesis. they would have a disastrous battle of opposing worldviews in their struggle for dominion. kabru has every right to want to take laios out bc while his affinity for monsters is sympathetic and even charming, it is still a natural threat… kabru has the true hero pathology. he believes he only deserves to live if he can save people for a variety of reasons/traumas. he should do whatever it takes to exterminate laios. but the expectation is subverted in chapter 76 bc we see kabru’s curiosity and ongoing quest for understanding win over his worst fears.

I feel like I’ve been projecting a lot but bear with me... a huge part of kabru’s character is him trying to figure out how to matter to people, or figuring out why people matter to others in general. it’s not to say he doesn’t matter to his friends or milsiril, but why else would he bother with all the manipulative people-pleasing? it would be less meaningful if he had ulterior motives like greed or power, but he plays into people's expectations/desires for a disastrously noble cause. he’s still actively living in his trauma as a deeply traumatized adult. it’s pure serendipity that laios can send him right back to his past and then pull him right out again. I don't think it's crazy to say kabru (correctly) projects a lot of shit on laios bc he doesn’t know how to deal with those injustices and barriers between people himself.

this is also why I believe kabru's beef with laios is as personal as it is strategic. we have to consider the trajectories of their character arcs (their big missions, respectively) in relation to one another as foils. if laios' love for falin can move mountains and do impossible things, kabru is subconsciously drawn to the magnitude of that love like a magnet. his response to cognitive dissonance is quite remarkable as well. at the root of his unbelievable capacity for understanding and curiosity is the deep wound of being unloved and unprotected. kabru does not avoid or run away from his fears, he quite literally keeps running toward them and follows it down to hell. he wants to identify the true source of his deepest wound.

to me, this omake connects his childhood curiosity to his search for love, almost as to ask “is there enough room for me to be loved?" and the same can be said for marcille's character arc/ backstory. her biracial heritage has caused her great existential pain and social isolation.

in dungeon meshi, the issues of protection and justice continue to be interpreted through love. if kabru were to go back in time and save utaya, he would’ve needed incomprehensible magic, a supernatural power to save himself, his mother, his hometown. in contrast, laios' mission to save falin is just one manifestation of the surreality of love, all of the impossibilities it permits. the touden party wade through invisible gulfs to save falin, but also each other. kabru doesn’t hate their story, he just can’t fathom it yet.

kabru is a skilled strategist and communicator. and does not listen to his heart or body until he’s absolutely forced to do it. he has insane goals and expectations for himself and will go to great measures for those goals. as cerebral and cold as he might seem, it’s critical to understand that his character arc is about love too. in my opinion, it’s almost as if he’s trying to change his reality in hopes of finding love. my favorite thing about kabru is that he has all the narrative makings of the perfect misunderstood villain who self-destructs at the end of the story. but kabru is too smart for that, too focused on the big-picture impacts and the historical trajectory of the cause. instead, kabru finds the wherewithal to stand down once he understands that laios is capable of loving humanity like he does, or that he could help him see the value in humanity at all.

to love is to understand, and then to surrender.

[ldrfanatic]

r9 for mattheo riddle pls🙏

shakin', pacin', I just need you

mattheo riddle x fem!hufflepuff!reader

r9 - "for you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face"

gonna be at the dentist office w my bf for the next three to four hours so I'm gonna try and clear out my requests <3

lowkey I was praying someone would request this for mattheo

part two anyone?

y'all I could not find where I wrote down my mattheo taglist so if you wanna be added please please PLEASE comment on this post so I can start a new one thanksss

slytherin boys works

"y/n are you even listening to me?"

the voice of hannah abbot, a fellow hufflepuff, tore your eyes from your only slytherin friend albeit reluctantly. when you finally looked towards your friend, her mouth was turned up into a disapproving frown.

"no. I know you think he's your friend, but he's not."

she wasn't entirely wrong. afterall, you couldn't honestly say that you'd exchanged more than a few words with the boy, though it wasn't for lack of opportunity. he'd approached you on more than one occasion but neither of you ever seemed to actually speak.

really, it was because mattheo felt stumped by you. he'd spent a lot of time with different girls while he'd been at hogwarts. but when he tried to approach you, he fumbled. every. single. time. that was how he first knew you were special.

the kind of girl that made him want to face his father's wrath even though he knew that liking you would be more than enough for a crucio.

between your friends, his family, and his inability to articulate his thoughts around you, mattheo never really got the chance to talk to you.

that is, until now.

somehow, by the grace of the universe, snape had paired you with him for the d.a.d.a. project studying boggarts. you touched on them briefly in your third year but due to lupin's condition, didn't get the chance to finish them. for once, mattheo actually wanted to do schoolwork and do well on this project so you didn't resent him for a bad grade.

as class was dismissed, a hand softly grabbed your wrist.

"wait."

it was mattheo. he was actually speaking words to you rather than just sitting there and staring. it was almost unsettling if anything.

"d'you maybe wanna meet in the library after classes and..."

you smiled sweetly and nodded.

"are you sure you can handle it riddle? don't you have to be talking to someone to study with them?"

there was a teasing tone in your voice which caused mattheo's face to bloom and pink to tinge over the tips of his ears. suddenly, like a switch had flipped, a cocky smile took over his face.

"i can't help it if you take my breath away. maybe you just bring out the best in me like that."

caught off by his banter and yet undeterred, you continued.

"well we all know that you're at your best when you shut up."

you spoke the words with a teasing smile. his jaw fell promptly open at your words, completely surprised that a hufflepuff would say something like that. while mattheo attempted to collect himself, you shoved your dark arts textbook into your satchel and swung it up onto your shoulder.

"the library. tonight. 5pm sharp. don't be late riddle."

five o'clock could not come fast enough. potions with professor scalby was simply exhausting. she was a kind enough women which was a nice change from professor snape after she'd taken over the class following his promotion to d.a.d.a., but the woman had a love for potions that you could safely say no one else in the class really shared. unless you counted hermione granger, a sweet enough gryffindor also in your year.

by the time that scalby finished gushing about the amortentia your class would attempt to brew next week, you were sure you'd aged an entire year in this class alone.

finally, after what seemed like an eternity, class was dismissed. you quickly packed your books away and scurried off to the library, arriving a decent few minutes before mattheo sauntered in with an otherworldly confused look on his face.

"sorry i'm a little late. i got lost."

he spoke to you in a deep yet gentle rumble that had your heart beating a little faster in your chest. it was hard not to notice the way that he gawked at the old century library which was probably your favorite collection of books in the whole world.

"have you never been here before?"

mattheo's dark curls bounced atop his head as he shook it slowly. he looked down at his large hands with what appeared to be shame.

"i've never really taken an interest in school before."

wanting to make him feel better you gently bumped your shoulder into his as the two of you walked back towards the study tables.

"you're taking an interest now."

"in you."

his words made the both of you settle into a thick silence. though it was hard not to notice his lingered stares across the great hall or after a slytherin-hufflepuff match, it was the first time that he'd spoken words aloud that alluded to his feelings for you, and it seemed to catch the both of you off guard.

after a moment's pause, mattheo spoke again.

"i-uh, i don't know why i said that i'm sorry."

you reached your hand out from across the table where the two of you had settled down and grasped his hand in yours. you flashed him a reassuring smile.

"don't be."

abruptly, mattheo let out a strangled noise of frustration and tugged at his hair with his fingers.

"i can't do this anymore."

your heart thumped so quickly against your ribcage, you feared it might stop beating altogether.

"can't do what anymore?"

"this, y/n. i can't keep posing that i want to be your friend and do friendly things together like study at the library."

now your heart was breaking. hannah was right. mattheo riddle was not your friend and-- oh. mattheo riddle was not done speaking.

"i can't keep pretending when i want to be so much more than friends with you. when i want to do very not friendly things with you. to you. when i feel like throwing these books on the floor and yanking you across this table and pressing every part of your body against every part of mine."

instead of doing that, he stood from his seat and knelt in front of you. it felt weird to have the son of the dark lord on his knees in front of you all but begging you to be his girlfriend.

"i know i'm not the chosen one or anything and i'm never gonna be the good guy. but damnit if i have to stay away from you any longer i don't think i could stand it."

his confession stunned you into silence. how the hell could yoou possibly respond to that?

"say something, please."

a hopeful look had taken over his features. his brown eyes sparkled under the dim library lights.

"i don't care that you're not the protagonist mattheo. i would fall from grace for you."

---

<taglist>

@blobsblobician @helendeath

07.07.2024

[gb-patch]

Sorry to send another ask amongst the sea I'm sure you're receiving, but I find myself more concerned about Rose being a sensitivity reader as I find more information. One of Rose's friends continues to insist that the conversation about Tamarack and male MCs was part of a larger discussion about biphobia in the fandom. However, they claim that Rose's position is "people erase Tam's bi/pansexuality by refusing to portray [her] as being attracted to anything other than men." This explanation of Rose's belief is, in-and-of-itself, biphobic. It claims that portraying Tamarack as attracted to men erases her queerness. This is textbook biphobia and bi-erasure that I as a bisexual encounter every day. It is NOT a good-faith defense of a queer character. It reduces us down to our partners and makes the claim that if we end up in a relationship that's "straight-passing," we're erasing our queerness. Especially as a bi sapphic myself, it reduces my identity strictly to the perceived-man I'm dating, and not my inner or previous experiences, or those of my partner. It's very uncomfortable that Rose, a non-bisexual, was discussing this like they're defending Tamarack's queerness when they're doing the opposite.

This is a doubly strange position when Our Life is a game about the acceptance of love in all its forms. The conversation could be different, MAYBE, if Our Life was a TV show or a book or a comic. But this is a game where people are meant to play as characters of their own design. I do not feel confident about Rose being a sensitivity reader for a game with bi/pansexual love interests if these are their beliefs about bi/pansexuality, particularly if they're unable to adapt their opinions to be relevant to different formats of media; this shows they're lacking in skill in the areas of media literacy and critical thinking.

I’ve been trying to make a post that presents the concerns people have about this, but your ask touches on the points I was going to, and I’d say it’s better to have it said by a player than me deciding what people are thinking. So, this is something that I want to make clear- that I see this and other asks/comments about it. What you’ve said is something a lot of people are unsure and upset about. I am sorry that you feel so out of place in this community now. And I am also sorry to players of any sexuality who use a male MC. That comment dismissed players and Tamarack’s identity.

It did come from a longer discussion about bi-phobia issues. The overall feelings were “if people did only want Tamarack to be interested in men, I really wouldn’t like that and wouldn’t it be a funny concept if Tamarack then left them for a woman?”. The comment itself didn’t encompass that idea at all. It does not give a good impression about where they’re coming from. It was unkind.

The viewpoint Rose is trying to have isn’t that “Tamarack can never express an interest in men” which would be wrong, it’s “I stand by the fact that Tamarack is someone who wouldn’t only be interested in men and no one else”. If it’s true that Rose likes Tamarack being interested in all genders and doesn’t want her bi-ness to be forgotten, I’d say that’s an acceptable view. If the point actually is that Tamarack should only be with women and if she’s not than Tamarack is no longer bi or she’s a bad character, then you're right- that isn't acceptable and that is going to get someone removed from the project. I do believe Rose agrees with what you’re saying and means it when they say they want to stop bi-erasure, not participate in it for real. But they had a very harsh way of talking about it.

I understand that people don’t know Rose and this situation has made them believe they do seriously hold that first view. But from working with them, there’s never been any feedback that shows an opinion of the sort.

Right now, I think that comment was being edgy and making a quick, very poorly-worded quip to people they’d been chatting with about that topic already. Rose has left the GB Patch discord servers, they used to be a mod, and may or may not ever be back in there. Rose won’t make blog posts responding to players going forward. They’re going to take a break from this and then try to give helpful feedback. We’re going to see if things can be okay from here.

And with this coming up, we’re all really aware that it’s something to consider about the game. I’m going to be as conscious as I can for any advice that seems to go against the character’s identities and I’m going to question my own knee-jerk choices for how I handle things. Other sensitivity readers will be able to give their viewpoints as well, so will the players. If the game’s content isn’t welcoming or is biased people will notice, and I’ll be here to accept what I’ve done. I don’t want that to be the result of this, of course. I hope the game will be thoughtful and considerate, but I can’t fire Rose at this point to try doing that.

No one has to keep following the game, though. I’m sympathetic to anyone who is too uncomfortable with all this to stay around.

[thecrazyalchemist]

I've recently seen a post on Tumblr that just, 'broke' something in me (for a lack of a better term).

So I just want to vent about it and another thing that's been bothering me.

(Disclaimer: this is a vent post. I am not an expert in the topics discussed. What I say is knowledge that I have learned from all kinds of places (school, history classes, researching for history projects, reading first hand written material from archives, and other places) and I don't have much the energy to compile everything source into a list (if I can even remember them). However, if you want to add, argue against, or argue in favor of something said here, correct me, you're welcome! Although, please act civil and cite your sources please. (I know I didn't and I'm sorry, but also please remember this is a vent post.) so anyways, here we start)

So, first of all:

Let's talk about Zionism. What does it mean?

To me, it seems that a lot of people think Zionism is something along the lines of 'racist bloodthirsty monstrous baby murderer and cold blooded killer and a rapist pedophile' since I keep seeing the word 'Zionist' in DNI lists next to 'nazis', 'pedophiles', 'minor attracted people', and other stuff like that.

I would love to hear what you think its definition is and I would love to hear where did you learn it, or perhaps any sources for such a definition.

Here's a brief recap of how Zionism was formed and what it is:

Zionism means the desire for Jewish self determination and self governing to exist/continue in the land/country of Israel.

It is an umbrella term, like the term queer, for example.

Zionism has deep roots in Judaism. A lot of practices and rituals in Judaism involve or are related to Israel. The name Israel comes from the name Jacob got from the angel he defeated, and after him the whole tribe of the Jewish people and the area are called Israel. The name Israel is in one of the most basic Jewish prayers - Shema Israel. Also, at the end of every pesach (Passover) Seder we say "Leshana habaa beyerushalaim habnuia" - next year in built Jerusalem. Jewish people have said so ever since the diaspora started.

Before the state of Israel existed, Zionism was about how to create and build Israel.

Three examples:

Political Zionism - create Israel by first getting a charter and international recognition and funding.

Practical Zionism - create Israel by first buying land, building settlements and developing the area.

Synthetic Zionism - a merge between the two movements above. Afaik most of the early political leaders of Israel were from that movement (for example, the first Israeli prime minister - David Ben Gurion).

Nowadays, Zionism is more vague. The reason for is that Israel already exits. The different movements on how to create Israel are kind of irrelevant now, because it exists now. The discussion on how to run Israel is perhaps what one may define as different movements within Zionism in modern time, however yet almost always when one says they are a Zionist, they mean they desire/want/believe that Israel should exist. That's it.

As such, Zionism alone doesn't say almost anything about the political view of the person who identifies as a Zionist.

Afaik basically 100% of Israeli Jews and around 80% of the Jews in America identify as Zionist. Under *this* definition.

Now because Israel exists, it's much harder to talk about different movements within Zionism which aren't basically political movements within Israel.

That leads me onto Kahanism.

Kahanism is an extremist far-right nationalist-racist religious Zionist movement (that I completely do not, I repeat: **do not** agree with). It was founded by the rabbi Meir Kahane, which believed that Jews should rule the whole area which was the kingdom of Israel in the days of the Tanach and should kill anyone who's an enemy of the Jewish people (which according to him, is basically everyone).

Here's an article that sums up some of my feelings about it in relation to the current events:

[https://archive.ph/2024.06.10-191347/https://www.haaretz.com/opinion/2024-06-10/ty-article-opinion/.premium/forget-being-anti-zionists-lets-be-anti-kahanists/00000190-0228-d660-af95-6fbed3e60000]

Now on to the post that 'broke the camel's back', per say.

The post said “I think that all Israelis should go back to Europe” and that it would solve all the problems here.

Let's try to break down the sentence “all Israelis should go back to Europe”. That sentence implies that that's where *all* Israelis came from.

What's "Israeli"? Afaik, since Israel is a country, Israeli is anyone who has Israeli citizenship (and some may even add 'and/or everyone who was born here').

What's Israel's population demographic? According to official government surveys, Israel has around ~9.9 million citizens, out of which ~73% (~7.227 million) are Jewish, ~21% (2.079 million) are Arab and the rest ~6% (0.594 million or 594 thousand) are classified as else.

The Arab population of Israel (which has equal rights as the Jewish population in Israel) and the Arab population of Gaza and the West Bank originate from the same group of people. Some of them originate from Arab people who had been here for hundreds of years (since the empires age) and many originate from Arab immigration between the end of the WW1 and the establishment of Israel.

Even if you claim that the Arab population of Gaza and the West Bank are the actual indigenous population of this area (despite numerous archeological and historical evidence pointing otherwise, although they do have a long history here), you cannot claim that just because a person was born or even just lived on the other (wrong, in your eyes) side of a border they aren't indigenous to the area!

In Israel, there are also a lot of minorities who are persecuted in other parts of the middle east. Such as: Druze, Armenians, Circassians and more. They have to go to Europe too? No, just the Jews? Surely this isn't antisemitism!

And let's talk about the Jewish population in Israel. MOST JEWS DID NOT COME FROM EUROPE! There are Jews who came from diaspora in Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Saudia, Ethiopia and a whole lot other countries through the middle east, south west Asia and north Africa. They have to go to Europe too?

And that's beside two other important facts: first of all, the Jews are indigenous to the levant. We are indigenous to the land of Israel.

And of course, do you now what happened to Jews all over the world, and especially Europe?

To name a few very notable examples: *The Spanish inquisition*, Kishinev pogrom, Jedwabne pogrom, *The Holocaust*, what that happened in the Soviet Union and many more pogroms, expulsions and massacares. (There were of course also pogroms in the MENA countries, however *I* haven't learned about them. Two examples I am told is notable is the farhood pogrom and the Holocaust in North Africa).

All throughout history, the Jews were expelled and massacred from almost every place. You then expectus to just come back to those places as if nothing has happened?

You want us to come so badly. Can you prove that we are safe to come? That we *have a place to come to*? Because so far you haven't shown that.

That when you and the people around you see a Jew, you won't immediately turn them into the scapegoat of every problom you have and then rape and/or expell and/or kill them.

And also, how would that solve more problems than it will create? Exchanging around ~2 million refugees for ~9.9 million refugees? How would that help? And even if you only mean the Jews (which I can't see how it isn't antisemitic) it's ok cause it's Jews? (which is even more antisemitic)

So no, it would not solve any problems. The country of Israel won't go anywhere, the Jews won't go anywhere, because we don't have anywhere to go - we were born here and we are staying.

However, yes, just as well, the Palestinians will probably not go anywhere (*not talking about Hamas and other similar groups here*). The only way to solve the situation is to unpack and deescalate those decades of conflict and escalation and hate, which will take a lot of work.

[anon-sect]

picture source anonymous.

Drey and lab partner Nile were given a tough assignment in chemistry class of there sophomore year in college. Drey was a hard working student that always got straight As, while Nile was one who slacked when it came to assignments. The professor wanted to help Nile become a better student, so he partnered him up with the smartest student in the class, hoping some of those good habits would rub off on him.

When the assignment was complete and graded, both Drey and Nile were given an A for the assignment. The professor asked Drey if Nile really did pull his weight on the project, and he told him yes. What the professor didn't know was that Drey was forced to say yes by Nile.

Once they were partnered together, Drey started noticing Nile's feet. When Nile noticed that Drey was looking at his feet often, he figured that he had a foot fetish. He decided to use this fact to his advantage. He offered his feet to Drey to do whatever he wanted to do with them.

Drey would have feet worship sessions in Nile's dorm room when his roommate wasn't present. Nile would even let Drey lay under his desk as a footrest while he gamed on his computer, sometimes for hours sniffing his feet. But when it came time to work on the project, he told Drey to do all the work and they both would take credit. A day before presenting the project, Drey had threated to tell the professor he had done all the work and Nile did none. Nile then showed a ton of pictures and some videos of the foot worship sessions. He then threatened Drey that if he didn't say they both worked on it together, he would show the pictures and videos to his roommate first and then to a lot of other students. Not wanting his foot fetish to be well known, he relented to Nile's demand.

Three days after getting the A, Drey had a change of heart on his decision to remain silent. He texts Nile that he was going to tell the professor the truth, it didn't matter if he was exposed. Nile texted back that he was sorry for blackmailing him and that it was wrong for him to do that. He also told him that he will tell the professor the truth. If he wanted one more foot fetish session, to come over to his dorm room. Drey believed him and went.

Nile let Drey into his dorm room and shut the door. Drey got down on the floor and started kissing Nile's feet like he usually does in their sessions. He didn't notice what he was doing up above him. He looked up briefly to see a strange ray device pointed at him. "I got you here so that my secret would be safe. You won't be ratting on me if you are under my feet for a very long time." Nile spoke to Drey and fired at him.

Drey saw his whole view change as his body shrunk in size and started to turn white. He tried to speak, but his mouth was sealed shut. Everything happened so fast within seconds. One minute later, Drey was gone, and in his place was a pair of white flip-flops.

Nile laughed as slide his feet into his new flip-flops. "Now my secret is safe and I have a new pair of flip-flops to add to my collection. He laughed more. He placed his phone on the floor to snap a picture of him and his new flip-flops. He then posted on his social media page. He added caption beneath the picture, 'Thanks for my new flip-flops, Drey. I think I will keep them for a very long time.'

Drey was mortified mentally as Nile's feet crushed his face. He could feel Nile's feet started to mold his face to service his new owner's feet. He had no means to call for help and lack the ability to move on his own to escape. His fate was sealed. He was Nile's flip-flops forever. Had he left things alone, he would not have been where he was now. He could only partially blame himself for all the pain that Nile's feet was going to cause him for the rest of his life.

[kaz-oooo]

I’ve already done music recommendations so, you can check out these posts (playlists and list of artists) if you’re looking for that specifically. But Wilbur made a lot of content over the years and idk, i figured I’d make a a list of recommendations for similar content to fill that void as well :)

Minecraft SMP’s (specifically DSMP)

The same SMP’s but other POV’s — I’ll just start with this cos it’s the most iffy. There’s plenty of enjoyment to be had with these fandoms still, and I personally don’t think we need to let the actions of a couple shitty guys ruin the silly Minecraft roleplay we all enjoy. That said, if you aren’t comfy watching these anymore that’s perfectly valid as well, especially since Wilbur’s character will be lurking around in the background of plenty of these. But yeah, we can also uplift other creators by watching the fun stories they made, especially those who got buried by bigger creators at the time. So Dream SMP, QSMP, Origins SMP, SMP earth, SMPlive all have content you can enjoy.

Different, completely unrelated SMP’s — hermitcraft, the life series, empires SMP (shubble was involved in this one, I’m planning on watching her POV when I find some time) etc. I’ve had plenty of people recommend these to me before, from what I’ve seen they’re very enjoyable :)

Hamilton — not even joking, if you enjoyed the L’manberg era of DSMP and you didn’t watch Hamilton, I’d heartily recommend it. Great music, lots of politics but all in a fun and silly way, also tragic endings!

Editor Wilbur ARG (I’m a massive ARG fan so I have tonnes of recommendations here)

Generation Loss — Ranboo’s very awesome Horror project that they’ve been working very hard on!!! Ranboo’s been teasing new content lately as well so that’s exciting

Analog horror series — Local 58, Gemini Home Entertainment, Mandela Catalog, Kane Pixel’s Backrooms videos, etc. All very good and spooky videos, definetely an inspiration for Gen Loss, and I know Wilbur enjoyed this content as well (though the editor Wilbur arg predates a lot of this genre) those are some of the biggest on YouTube atm, and some of my personal favourites, but there’s plenty more to find (I recommend channels like Nightmind and Nexpo who do analysis videos for all this horror and ARG stuff if you wanna find more)

Marble Hornets — gets its own category! One of the original analog horror genres (predated the genre actually) it’s basically one of the biggest and most comprehensive Slenderman series out there. There’s a LOT of content here and lots of lore and mystery (though a lot of the game clues have been lost to time) (Jack Manifold also reacted to this on stream, it was very chill and good fun)

Horror podcasts — Magnus Archives and Magnus Protocol, Malevolent and Archive 81 are some of my favourites, but there’s plenty more out there to find and enjoy :). Also very spooky with lots of mystery to involved, the Magnus Protocol is very new as well so great time to get into that!

Just Chatting / Geoguessr / other chill content

Geoguessr streamers / YouTubers — honestly I genuinely didn’t watch much geoguessr content outside of Wilbur’s streams so, I don’t have many recommendations here. I know Eret has been doing geoguessr streams lately and their content is very good and chill. Jacksuckatlife plays as well and last I watched he was fairly good at it (like similar skill level to Wilbur), otherwise Rainbolt is a geoguessr legend, he terrifies me a little ngl.

Other streamers — I think the thing with the just chatting streams is that we watch for *that specific streamer’s* personality. It’s hard to really make recommendations other than just saying go watch more of the streamers you enjoy. Personally I enjoy Phil’s hardcore streams, and Sneegsnag’s Crime Time the most, but there’s plenty of other people both in this MCYT space and outside of it that you’ll probably enjoy :)

Sorry boys (unlike horror I don’t watch much comedy so, sorry, this’ll be lacking)

Just Roll With It — Charlie Slimecicle’s DND podcast. I’ve only listened to a little bit of this but it’s really good and REALLY silly (oh, and emotional sometimes, gotta have a bit of angst y’know) Wilbur was a guest on a couple of episodes, but you can always skip past those if you want.

Tommy’s videos — so Wilbur features in a lot of the early vlogs and *minecraft but* videos, but Tommy’s content has always been good fun, his recent stuff is excellent as well! He’s been doing a lot of comedy content lately, specifically a live show so definitely check that out if you want :)

Smosh pit — not something I’ve watched a lot of, but I’ve seen clips of their try not to laugh videos and they’re definitely on par with the bat shit improv you get from Sorry Boys.

Game changer — again, not something I’ve watched much, mostly consumed through osmosis, but the show is funny, the cast is always silly and it’s a lot of fun all round

Whatever else Sorry Boys make after this — judging by some of the responses to Wilbur’s “statement” I think it’s fair to assume if Sorry Boys do continue making content Wilbur will be cut from the group. Of course don’t feel obligated to stick around if you don’t want to, but Wilbur won’t be compensated if he’s kicked and the rest of the guys are still fun :)

YLYL and similar goofy stuff

Just… other streamers again — Jack Manifold does YLYL streams with his friends. James Marriott does a lot of reaction videos as well, sometimes YLYL, sometimes reacting to content his viewers send in (like TikTok’s and break up texts), those are my favourites atm.

YouTubers — that niche between video essay and reaction content, people like Danny Gonzales, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner, Pinely, all good fun YouTube channels that make good, silly, and easy to consume content.

Other gaming streamers and YouTubers — Slimecicle, Ranboo, Games Grumps, RT games, and SneegSnag all play a wide variety of games, they’re all relatively chill but none of them take the games all that seriously either so it’s fun and goofy as well :)

And of course Fanfiction!!!

I might be a little bias here cos I write myself but fic is created by and for fans and it exists to give you even *more* content about the stories you love, whether it be reimagining canon events or just dumping your favourite characters into a silly au.

I know a lot of authors (myself included) are feeling super conflicted and weird about writing Wilbur in the future. Plenty of authors have been moving onto new fandoms so if you find something you enjoy make sure you check out the author’s other work and who knows, maybe you’ll find some cool new fandoms that way!

And do the same for artists and other creators, or even go check out some of your mutuals fandoms, you guys might have more in common than you originally thought!

[lazyfandombean]

Psst, you!

Hey, hey you! Yeah, you! I've got a question for ya. Do you feel normal about SCC (Sweet Cap'n Cakes)?

-> Yes -> No

[❤️Yes] [Ohhhh, I see. You're in denial, aren't you? ;)]

[❤️No] [Aha! Just as I projected- I mean suspected! Suspected. Yeah.]

Well, I've got some GREAT news for you! Have you ever felt saddened by the lack of SCC-centric fanfiction? Specifically the kind that depicts them as brothers instead of bandmates or partners (no shade to those depictions btw)?

No? Shut up yes you have /j

Yes? Fantastic! Well, no, sorry that you're sad :/ BUT! Be sad no longer! For I've come to save the day!

In the form of my newfound SCC hyperfixation!!!

That's right!! I've been going crazy about The Guys™️ for the past week or so, but to my absolute SHOCK, there are hardly ANY fanfics for them!!! And almost all them revolve around them as a SHIP! And no offense, but I just don't like reading about ships all that much, sorry!!! :(

SO!!! How am I going to fix this dilemma, I wondered? But THEN! I remembered something!! Something very, VERY important:

'Oh yeah I'm a fanfic author.'

Is this me implying that I'm now writing a bunch of SCC fanfiction in a very roundabout way? YES YES IT IS! :D

In fact, I've already posted one on Ao3 and have turned it into a 'series'! By that I just mean that the 'series' is really just a place for me to dump all of my SCC-centric fics. I'll link the series here, BUT I'll also be cross-posting most, if not all, of those fics from Ao3 to here on Tumblr!

Oh also link btw:

But why am I talking about it like this on Tumblr, you ask? Introducing it in such a way when I could have just started posting SCC content? For two reasons!

One: Idk I just felt like it

Two: Because!! It has come to my attention that hardly anybody on Ao3 even reads SCC fanfiction.

And no, this isn't me begging for like... kudos or subscriptions (or followers, I guess it is on Tumblr? Idk I don't use it much) or anything like that. What I AM asking for is for people to read it. Not because I want to get popular, but because...

I am very self-conscious about the way I write SCC.

Well, to be honest I'm just self-conscious about the way I write any fictional character. It's actually the thing I worry about the most when it comes to fanfiction; whether or not I'm getting the personalities right. And I'm aware that it's more about how you perceive the characters, and that headcanons are a thing (I have plenty of them myself), but in my opinion, there's a line between having a headcanon and writing something ooc. Headcanons are fine, yes, and I use them a lot (especially when it comes to Undertale and Deltarune characters), but I feel like it can get to the point where it's so ooc that it doesn't even feel like the same character. And that's something I definitely don't want to happen when I write about my three favorite guys EVER. So basically, I'm asking people to read my fics specifically so I can get feedback on how to write the characters.

Why didn't I ask my friends? Bold of you to assume I have any /hj

But no fr, none of my friends play Deltarune, and I'm not even sure if any of them have heard of it. My sister has played before, but she never really got into it, and it's been so long that I doubt she would even remember who SCC are if I asked.

So, I've taken it to random strangers on Tumblr!

There's only one work in the series right now, but I'm currently working on another and have many more ideas sitting in a doc, waiting to be written! I'll also take requests if anyone has any (which I doubt will happen but anything's possible I guess), but before I post any more, I'd really like to get some feedback from... someone, I guess. I dunno I just really want to do them justice 😭

Anyways, that's all! Sorry that this was so long and probably annoying to read, I just thought it'd be funny but now I don't even know aldkdsfljk- but I'm leaving it like this because why not I guess

[ageless-aislynn]

Title: “15 Minutes” (10/15) Author:  @ageless-aislynn​ Characters/fandom: Master Chief John-117/Reader, Halo the series Summary: As you heal, you're not alone. Series: How to date a Spartan (without even trying) Rating:  T (PG13) Length: 2,604 (this chapter, 24,863 total so far) Spoilers: Set in the Silver Timeline of Halo the series, not the games or novels. Though we began with the events of Halo 1x06, there will be no more show spoilers. We are still firmly seated in the AU Warthog, merrily driving out to places where there’s only a passing nod to canon. �� Disclaimer: Definitely not mine but I do enjoy borrowing them just for a bit! 😉 A/N:  Text is both here in this post or available at AO3, however you like to read. Apologies for the break we took for a few weeks here. 😳This chapter turned out a little longer than I expected, (please enter "that's what she said" joke of your choice here), so I hope that makes up a bit for the delay. If you read, I hope you enjoy! ⭐💖⭐

Taglist: @pinheadbanger​ @mysardencut​ @laurenstacy610​ @sporadicbelievernightmare​ @ultrablackwidower​ @bxmxtx​ @jellotherelol @mirandastuckinthe80s

If you would like to be tagged in my John/Reader fics, just let me know! I also write John/Kai, John/Cortana and Kai/male Reader, so I’m glad to tag you for whatever you’d like. If you would like to be removed from the taglist, also feel free to let me know, no harm, no foul. 😉 💖

Halo fic masterlist ⭐

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9

Pressure on your chest brought you startling awake, flinging your left arm up as if to try and break free of a restraint. White hot pain burst from your shoulder down your bicep like a cord of fire trying to amputate your arm. You gave a strangled cry, managing to sit up and clutch at the various points of hurt as the agony gradually faded.

Out of the darkness, a now-familiar woman's voice said your rank and last name. "Are you all right? Do you need me to dispatch medical assistance?"

"No," you quickly said, automatically straightening your sleep-rumpled shirt. "I moved my arm wrong. Thanks, though."

"Of course," she returned, her tone kind.

"Are you, um, monitoring me?"

"Just for sounds of distress or pain. John was adamant that your privacy be respected as much as possible."

That made you smile slightly under the cover of the lack of light. "I hope they've given you something else to do other than to listen for me to say ouch."

"Not to worry, I keep busy."

You nodded even though she couldn't see it. Or maybe she could? Was she holed up in some ONI office, watching you with thermal signatures or some other sort of tech? "I appreciate it, Ms. Classified. Though I believe you gave me your name, didn't you? I'm sorry, I can't remember what it was."

"You were a little busy at the time," she demurred. "It's Cortana but I rather like 'Ms. Classified,' I have to say. It's like a nickname between friends, isn't it?"

"It is," you said. "And please feel free to use my first name. No need for friends to stand on formality."

"Thank you," she said and, after a slight pause, added your name as if it were an honor to do so.

Was she a Spartan, perhaps? Something about her careful manner reminded you of how John sometimes reacted to interpersonal things as if he hadn't ever dealt with them before and wanted desperately to be right in his response.

You wasn't sure if you should ask and while you were still wondering, she said goodbye with a sound like pixels vanishing, though there had been no hologram of her to see this time.

Your day was a lot more mundane after that. PT came by as Dr. Savannah had said they would, and you dutifully did the exercises with minimal grumbling and complaining. The ancient saying about medics being terrible patients was still said for a reason, after all, but you didn't want to be One Of Those if you could help it.

The therapist had brought you breakfast from the mess for after your session: the cold cereal MRE, typically called mush rarely edible, along with plain black coffee. She also told you that the next session would be tomorrow instead of later today, due to a scheduling conflict.

So that left you with a whole lot of day and very little to fill it.

You were scrolling through your padd, looking through old documents and messages, intending to clean up and organize things but, more often than not, ended up reminiscing on the past, on friends once part of your every day life now long gone, either transferred away or worse.

You discovered a folder full of sketches of various Mjolnir designs you'd done back before you'd decided for certain to begin training to be a Brokkr tech. Your interest in the Spartans and their armor had been a mere hobby, then.

You were far from a gifted artist but trying to capture the different iterations, the bulkier but classic shapes of the Mark V, the more streamlined Mark VI, had made for fun practice. You'd also tried out a few ideas of your own, such as "floating" pieces of armor to try and better protect the Spartans' joints without sacrificing mobility. The final image, though, had been a purely fanciful one: a fusion of Mjolnir and medieval, a literal Spartan in shining armor.

You couldn't help but chuckle. There was no number on the chest plate but it was clearly Master Chief to anybody who was familiar with his armor configuration. The patterning on his visor had a texture reminiscent of a knight's helm and the flare of his shield had a shape like the plume of a feather at the crest of his head. One arm was extended but incomplete: you hadn't decided whether to give him a BR or DMR or go for something like a broadsword or lance. Then you'd simply never come back to finish it and it had been forgotten in your drafts for all this time.

Tapping a fingertip contemplatively against your lip, you thought for a moment, then impulsively picked up your stylus and began to draw.

Gentle fingertips brushed against your hair and you woke to find John next to the bed.

"Sorry to bother you," he murmured, "but you looked uncomfortable."

The moment he said that, your neck began protesting the odd angle your head had slumped into.

"Well, that was a bad idea," you said plaintively, straightening up very slowly. Your entire body ached like you'd been moonlighting as a punching bag. Your padd slipped off your lap to the mattress, then bounced towards the edge, and John easily caught it on the fly.

You suddenly remembered what had been on it. The screen was dark but all it would take was a brush of a finger to activate it again and he'd see--

"What's this?" he said, orientating the padd right side up.

"That's... my poor attempt at artistry," you said, feeling heat blooming up your neck. You resisted the urge to snatch it from his hand and throw it to the floor yourself.

"It's not poor," he countered, studying it even more intently. "Not at all. I like it a lot, especially the detail here."

He tapped the image and the SPNKr rocket launcher you'd placed casually in the Spartan's hand, resting on the armored shoulder, expanded to better reveal the intricate filigree you'd spent a considerable amount of time adding to the large missile chamber.

"I mean, it's not practical, of course," you mumbled but his sincere appreciation lessened your embarrassment. "I wanted a medieval feel to a modern weapon."

"Do you have others?" he asked, handing the padd back to you.

You appreciated that he didn't just start flipping through the images. You swiped back to show him your other Mjolnir studies.

The very corner of his mouth twitched. "These are all mine, aren't they?"

"Hm, I suppose they are," you said in mock surprise. "It looks like I've had a favorite Spartan for a while now."

"Good," he said decisively, then glanced at you with a soft smile. "Could I send a copy of this to R&D?"

"Which one?" you asked, alarmed.

"The floating armor," he said, the smile growing a bit.

"Yeah, if you want," you said and forwarded the study to him. "I doubt I've thought of anything they haven't by now but I guess you never know."

"And could I have a copy of the other one, just for me?"

"Really?"

"Really," he confirmed.

You switched back to the medieval drawing, adding your signature with a flourish in the corner before forwarding that one as well.

The door chimed and he went to open it as if it were expected.

"Master Chief, sir!" the young private said, making a motion no doubt intended to be a salute that he couldn't complete because of the large and apparently heavy covered tray he was carrying.

"At ease," he said, taking the tray from him.

The private snapped a salute as crisp as if he were in the presence of Lord Hood himself, then kept standing in the open doorway, staring rather starstruck.

"Thank you, you're dismissed," John told him.

"If you or the Hero of the Pit need anything, let me know, sir," the marine said earnestly before backing away.

Once the door closed, you said, "That really is a terrible nickname."

"The Covenant call me 'Demon,'" John said, bringing the tray to the bed and setting it on the foot.

"'Demon' is badass," you countered. "Mine sounds like I fell in a hole and somehow managed to crawl back out."

"Crawling out of that hole wasn't a given," he said, "and you made sure nobody else was in there with you."

He lifted the cover on the tray, revealing two sizzling plates of food. The smell that hit you was divine.

Your voice dropped an entire octave. "Is that eggplant parmigiana?"

"I... think so? It's whatever was being served in the Spartan mess for lunch." His expression darkened. "You were supposed to get breakfast from there, too, but there was apparently some sort of mix-up. It's been dealt with."

You felt momentarily sorry for whoever had been on the receiving end of being dealt with. "I can't eat Spartan portions."

"You actually can because it so happens that I can calculate how many calories a Brokkr mechanic-slash-medic needs in order to heal properly." He held that with a serious expression for a moment, then winked. "And I also asked Dr. Savannah about it. She said, and I quote, 'Tell her it's fine to live a little.'"

"Oh, well, if it's doctor's orders..." you trailed off with a grin.

He left to get a small table and chair for himself since there was only the one lap tray and you took the opportunity to hit the head, thinking you'd be settled back in before he returned. As it turned out, you either greatly underestimated how far he had to go to find what he was looking for or, more likely, had greatly overestimated how quickly you could move.

Your left arm wanted to draw up to your torso from the way your damaged shoulder muscle was currently being foreshortened. Raising it even close to 45 degrees made it feel like it was being ripped off of your body. You took a couple of deep breaths, forcing it straight down to your side, and gritted your teeth though the pain as you returned to the main room.

John had already finished setting up the portable table and turned, his expression going almost comically aghast. "Should I call somebody? What can I do? I can carry you or--"

"No, it's fine," you told him. "I just have to work through it."

He hovered next to you as you made the few, torturous step back to the bed, his worry a palpable thing. Your bad knee buckled and he caught your arm -- fortunately, the right one -- to keep you from going down. His fingers hit a bruise hidden under your sleeve but you managed to not react.

The stricken look he gave you meant he'd seen the reaction anyway.

"There we go," you said, trying to sound breezy but the result was more winded than anything as you propped up against the headboard. "I'm ready for lunch. Are you? Lunch sounds great right about now."

He seemed at a loss as to what to do. You gingerly reached out and wrapped your fingers around his.

"I'm okay," you said softly. "I'm healing on schedule and it could've been much worse."

He nodded shortly, very, very carefully folding his other hand over yours. With a brief glance away, he nodded a final time as if agreeing to something you couldn't hear and then exhaled purposefully, affecting a lighter tone. "Well, let's see how that eggplant parmigiana is, then, hm?"

Even though physical therapy wasn't scheduled again until tomorrow, you went ahead and did the exercises anyway. Not only did it give you something to do after John left, but you were even more inspired to try to regain your strength as soon as possible.

Since you were alone, you felt free to swear your way more and more creatively through the entire session and only after the fact did you worry that maybe you had accidentally taught Cortana some new words and phrases.

Nah, you thought. Surely, she's not stuck sitting at some console all day and night, listening for me to need something, right?

You almost asked it out loud, just to see if she was listening, but decided against it. You didn't want to imagine she'd been instructed to keep her earpiece in to monitor you even when she took a meal or bathroom break. Or that maybe she never even actually got to go off-duty at all. It hadn't escaped your attention that John apparently didn't trust anybody else to provide your erstwhile overwatch.

You ate your dinner when it arrived, a very delicious chicken gumbo, then turned in early, since sleep was also an important factor in healing.

But your sleep was restless, the aches in your body keeping you from getting comfortable, and then when you did doze off, your mind kept taking you back to those moments when you were trapped. A couple of times, you found yourself jolting awake, John's name on your lips. You wondered if he was on base, asleep in the Spartan quarters. You'd assumed he would come back if he were here but you hadn't actually asked him to. It was his room, though, so wouldn't he...?

Try to get some sleep, that's the best thing right now. You'll feel stronger tomorrow, you silently instructed yourself, trying to find a comfortable position.

The next time you woke, your heart was thundering in your ears and you made a small panicked noise.

The lights abruptly came up to a quarter and you looked around wildly.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

John sat up from where he was stretched out over on the couch and you instinctively reached for him. He was there almost as if appearing by magic, letting you grip his hand as he leaned over you.

You were tangled in the covers and struggled to free yourself. He carefully extricated you with his free hand.

"Were you having a nightmare?" he asked and you nodded.

"I- I didn't know you were here," you said, stumbling over the words. "Why are you on the couch? You could share. I'd- I'd like you to."

He got that slightly stricken look again. "I'm heavy. I'll hurt you by moving around. I can't... I can't cause you more pain. I'm right here, though."

You understood what he meant but it still stung a bit like rejection. You normally would've let him go, would've tried to accept it gracefully, but the phantom weight on your chest changed the words on your tongue.

Your voice emerged small and compressed. "I need you, John."

The words clearly hit him like a plasma bolt to the chest and his fingers closed gently around yours.

"All right," he finally said. "I'll be careful."

It took a few minutes but eventually you were in his arms, turned on your right side with your injured left arm resting on his chest, your head tucked into the curve of his neck. All of the movement did hurt but you absolutely didn't care; all that was important was that he was here, you could hear his heart beneath your ear, could feel his warmth seeping into all of your pains and soothing them.

"Thank you," you murmured into the softness of his shirt.

"You don't have to thank me," he said, kissing the top of your head and lightly brushing his fingers across the hand you had on his sternum.

You were almost asleep when you thought, but weren't completely sure, that he also quietly said, "I need you, too."

[familyvideostevie]

hey.

okay. hello! i'm back. :)

maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.

i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.

i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.

and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.

So, I’m pulling back.

it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.

it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.

but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!

anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:

I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.

I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).

I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!

I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)

lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!

I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!

so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3

[conhivemindcent]

So I’ve been consuming a lot of the posts about Oceangate and now that it’s safe to assume the passengers are dead, I want to give my own take. Feel free to disagree.

Firstly, I never heard this on the news. I did hear about the boat where 78 immigrants were killed and hundreds missing off the coast of Greece. This may be a cultural and proxemics thing though, as I’m British (we have shit immigrant laws) and the Oceangate fiasco took place closer to America and Canada. So those claiming this is probably a case of Tumblr once again being American-centric.

Secondly, i don’t know how to feel about the deaths. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. They knew what they were getting into with this, and that their deaths were very likely. I do think this was a failing of their own hubris and also a huge waste of money. Insert something about capitalism and the woes of such here. But if the ship didn’t implode, it would’ve been a living hell. Starving, cramped, excrement everywhere, dark. It sounds like something out of a nightmare rather than something real. I don’t know if I feel sorry, as it’s most likely I won’t experience this ever in my life, but I definitely feel bad about it.

Third, I hope Oceangate gets sued. This was unsafe af, and where most of my anger is directed. These people tried turning a tragedy (itself also being rooted in capitalism) into a tourism spot for only the elite. Not to mention the unsafe conditions and the knock-off Xbox controller used to pilot the ship. This definitely seems like a scam and I hope they suffer repercussions for their actions, especially now it’s likely the CEO is dead.

Forth, I hope the ship imploded. That seems like the most humane way for this all to end. Battle about humaneness all you want and whether the rich deserve it, whether a 19-year-old nobody knew about prior to this deserves this, but I hope they all died quickly rather than long, drawn out, and suffering from lack of oxygen.

Fifth, some of the memes are funny. Mostly the ones about the Xbox controller. I don’t really like memes making fun of people dying. But then again I’ve never liked to make fun of death, whether deserved or not. (Exception to the kind of things in r/peoplefuckingdying because those are over-exaggerations of the most mundane stuff.)

Sixth, this should be taken as a cautionary tale. Don’t underprepare and do your research on shady seeming stuff. Don’t think you’re above death because you’ve got a spare load of money.

Seventh, leave the damn titanic alone. Everyone who was on it is now dead. The ship itself is crumbling. Leave it to rot, and let it echo through history books and that one James Cameron movie. Let children learn about it and use it to learn how to write newspaper articles and as a fun research project, which fun fact: is how I learnt about it. As an 8-9 year old. The novelty’s worn off in the past few years. Let’s just leave it as something cool for kids to learn and not add onto it with stupid stuff like Titan.

[prying-pandora666]

“The Search” Rewrites, Book 4: Air, Leaks, and A Call for Help from the Fandom

I’ve talked a little about the Book 4: Air restoration project @book4air. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out! Three full episodes are already out and episode 4 is going to cover Zuko’s early days right after his banishment, exploring his relationship with Iroh and the world as Zuko understands it as a lost boy rapidly coming into manhood.

Wait until you hear the VA’s performance with music and everything! It’ll break your heart.

But I want to talk a little bit about what comes after these next few episodes: our adaptation of “The Search”.

If you’ve seen our adaptation of “The Promise”, you’ll know it was quite faithful. This won’t be the case for “The Search”. For the purposes of the overarching story we are telling, this story is getting overhauled. (Please still support the original release if you’d like to see the canon version).

The biggest change that’s been announced is the addition of Toph. The team felt that a story about family, identity, and faces could benefit from including Toph’s perspective as she comes from a unique but toxic family situation, has a strong conflict between the performance expected of her versus who she really is, and is completely blind and so faces don’t even register for her.

Here is the sample scene we released:

But I want to talk a little bit about what we are changing about Zuko and Azula’s roles in the story. While the set up is virtually unchanged, there is one small alteration that makes a big difference.

(Sorry for the poor quality, this is technically unreleased content and I’m being kinda risky leaking it.)

Ursa’s letters are now a diary. This means that rather than get random flashbacks, the narrative framing now becomes Zuko and Azula reading these entries together. As a result, they get to discuss their discoveries about their family, and even share each other’s perspectives.

What that means is that when things like Zuko dangling Azula over the cliff happen, now we actually are forced to address it. The characters have to talk about how they treat each other and the reasons why. They have to confront the toxic family dynamic they’ve been forced and groomed into since childhood. Zuko has to realize his mentally ill little sister isn’t the monster here and in fact he’s the one with all the power now, and Azula has to realize that Zuko can be trusted if she can let go of her fear long enough to talk to him about her vulnerabilities.

We also address issues like this:

Many people criticize this for being OOC, but I think there’s a way this could easily not be. Sokka has been known to be juvenile and reactionary as a first response, the difference is that he always eventually apologizes and learns from his mistakes. Without even needing to be asked.

Threatening a mentally ill person who has just been removed from an asylum—even as a joke—is not okay. It would be questionable even if they’d been friends before this, but considering their prior relationship it really does seem like an boneheaded lack of awareness or compassion for how triggering this could be.

So rather than remove this interaction, we addressed it. And I am really taking a risk posting this here, but here is a brand new script page:

Sokka isn’t just comic relief. Sokka is smart, Sokka is compassionate, Sokka is brave, and Sokka knows when it’s time to apologize and reach out versus when it’s time to fight.

Safe to say, there are several things that stay the same and we tried to keep faithful to the spirit of the story, but there’s a lot we wanted to do for the Gaang and for the Fire Sibs, and I hope you’ll join us on this adventure, whether you’re a diehard fan of the comics and just looking for a fun AU, or you hate the comics and would like a rewrite, or even if you’ve never read them and would just love to return to the world of ATLA.

The only trouble is, we can’t do it alone. The project is very expensive and time consuming to produce. Our team pays for everything out of pocket and some of us don’t even have reliable housing, so it’s been a hard time.

If you can help in any way, even only by spreading the word so YouTube will stop burying us in the algorithm, that would be huge!

If you can afford to help, we have a Patreon where you can get all sorts of early goodies.

Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated! As the head writer and voice of Azula, this project is very near and dear to me. Avatar was my first pro-writing gig when I was just a homeless 19 year old, and it’s here for me again as I struggle to rebuild my life and health that COVID destroyed.

I love this series and the community that has helped me through the hardest times in my life. I can’t wait to make something beautiful with you all!

[trekkele]

I recently saw the post about Jason and Cass not having to get along, and how that adds to their dynamic.

So I was wondering, are there any other interesting facts/headcanons about relationships in the Batfam?

Your own or some you simply stumbled across?

Because what frustrates me is the absolute lack of nuance in relationships in a lot of in most of Batfam centric fan-works.

The extent to which people write Bruce as either an absolute peace of shit, or as someone who will kiss his kids feet and beg them for the slightest bit of attention

(this being the supposedly "good" parenting- which… No? That ain’t it)

Because something I find incredibly compelling about their dynamics is the absolute loyalty Bruce often on the receiving end of.

Even when they are on terrible terms, if Bruce calls, they answer. (Usually, of course there are exceptions)

Some interesting facts/ideas about their relationships I saw were;

Dick hating Jason back when he was Robin. (Because they all a bit possessive of the Bat/insecure about their place at his side)

Tim not being Jasons fan even before the murder attempt (I read somewhere that DICK was the Robin Tim admired, and that made much more sense to me)

Cass and Dick having a tense relationship because Cass can read and understand Bruce so well, when Dick was the one who knew him best for so long.

Alfred and Bruce having a slightly more complicated relationship (I‘m so sick of 'perfect Alfred makes no mistakes' I swear. If Alfred had been as good a parent as everyone pretends (in comics or fandom) Bruce would at least be a SLIGHTLY more well adjusted individual)

Sorry for the rambling- I kinda got away from what I was asking 😅

So yeah, anyone else you feel has a more difficult relationship than fandom would have you believe?

All the kids with the justice league, and specifically Clark.

No listen hear me out, Bruce’s big possibly life changing injuries? They happen with the league most of the time, because thats when he’s fighting a minor god or a sentient star or whatever. But thats also when all his allies are super powered people, thats when he should be safest. Instead he keeps coming back from league missions with close calls and broken bones.

And Clark especially, what do you mean your best friend is Superman and your arm broke in the three places on that last mission. Where was he??

Alfred and Clark having a 😒 relationship is always fun too, because while kids wont see it or realize it Clark has absolutely witnessed how Alfred parents Bruce and how … less then ideal it can be.

Kate and Alfred, because of backstory reasons (did Alfred do nothing to keep the Kanes in contact with Bruce?? Why??) and also because it would be funny.

Cass and Jason is a good one and it makes so much more sense then the usual “cass loves her big little brother uwu” because i think what Cass would love about Jason would be stealing his weapons and hiding them and watching him lose his mind. Stop bringing guns into her dads house he doesnt like them and its his house.

I think. Oh this is going to be a hot take. I think Bruce resents when Tim tries to patronize or parent him. You know exactly what i mean right, that very specific flavor of infantilization you see in Tim-and-Bruce fics where Tim is a genius brilliant boi and Bruce is just led around by the nose? Hate it and i think Bruce hates it and knows exactly when Tim is trying it. Does he look like Jack Drake?? No?? Good because he was getting worried. (Bruce loves Tim. He loves how much Tim cares. He does not love how Tim thinks caring means permission to run his life).

Another hot take, i dont think Alfred and Jason got along as well as they did until after Jason resurrected. I think baby Jason treated Alfred the way Alfred treated him, so more like two people living in the same space who mutually respect each other them like grandparents. I think Jasons death and his anger at Bruce and Dick made him want/need a neutral person to project his happy memories onto, and Alfred was that person.

Duke being wary of Jason and Red Hood - because he remembers how many people lost people to Red Hood when he first arrived, and i dont care what comics told you there is no way he did what he did without collateral damage.

Damian and Dick should have a messy, complicated, resentful relationship. Damian wanted his father, no matter how good a replacement you write Dick as that isnt what he wanted. Dick also wanted his dad, and he didnt want to be Batman or a parent or any of it, and the fact that Bruce was actually alive and if hed only moved faster, if the JL had only been smarter, if someone had been paying attention, he never would have had to do any of it. And im going to he so honest right now the way fandom writes their “good” relationship is so bad sometimes. I hesitate to use the word toxic because yaknow its been done to death but seriously.

Anyways i think i hit enough hornets nests here, but will leave with, good parenting does not always look like you think it should. Allowing your children to violate your boundaries, always taking full responsibility for mutual miscommunications and misunderstandings, and never letting them suffer consequences for actions they take is just setting them up for failure.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Do you have any sexuality + gender identity head cannons for Color & Killer?

Idk if you ever mentioned this already or not so if you did then sorry lol

I probably made a post like it awhile ago but I’m not gonna go looking for it, mostly because my views might’ve changed since then.

Well for one I’d like to say they’re both definitely on the AroAce spectrum somewhere. Killer is definitely Demiromantic to me, and I’m just gonna say he’s Aceflux because I can’t decide on either Asexual or Demisexual or some other label—and also because his relationship with things like sex and intimacy is most definitely effected by whatever Stage he is in.

I highly doubt Stages 1, 3, and 4 are gonna be able to do the Sex, even if 1 may want to with someone he trusts and wants to be closer with (Color for example, since we’re talking about them.) even if he feels the desire and attraction to, so possibly Demisexual or just Ace and wanting to feel closer with someone he trusts.

He may get there eventually, compared to Stage 2 who definitely would be more willing to give it a try (if only because he’s curious and also probably definitely likes the power/control elements).

But I ultimately just think regardless of Killer’s sexual orientation, he will flirt with people because he thinks it’s amusing (in Stage 2), but ultimately he will struggle with being intimate. It’d probably be a lot easier for Stage 2 if he’s able to be in control of these encounters (cuffs and restraints definitely lmao), if only to avoid the risk of murdering his bedmate. (And also to avoid the risk of debilitating flashbacks and dissociating through the entire thing).

(Killer’s probably the type who prefers to give pleasure rather than receive anyway.)

I ultimately think that Killer does have his romantic fantasies, especially in Stage 1. I think she enjoys the idea of being romantic and possibly even idolizes it in Stage 1, but ultimately he believes it’s just a fantasy. Killer would probably actually find it hard to believe that anyone would feel that way towards him—Stage 2 is likely to dismiss as a funny joke at first, before eventually just calling whoever seems to show interest in em like that downright delusional.

Doesn’t mean she won’t take advantage of it anyway if it helps him achieve a goal or something. If whoever is dumb enough to trust him, then that’s not his problem now is it. (Of course, this is a Stage 2 that’s still with Nightmare. How they respond to this in an ending with Color, where he’s recovering and healing, may be different. And of course things will be drastically different if this person has been able to make him trust them while in Stage 1. Because if so, then that’s just fascinating.)

All in all, I don’t think Killer of any Stage has ever actually considered labeling themself anything; either in terms of sexuality or gender. Buddy is doing what she wants.

And honestly I don’t think Stages 3 and 4 are even in any state to consider things like romance and sex, or lack thereof at the moment. Bros think they’re fighting for their lives and they have no clue what’s going on.

I definitely think Stage 4 uses only it/its pronouns. But this is due to dehumanization. Bro probably doesn’t even respond to any type of name either. I doubt it even comprehends what the hell romance or sex or intimacy or a hug is.

So I have some ideas for Killer, but if I’m being fr, I don’t think Killer would give a fuck about my ideas. She’s doing his thing.

As for Color, I view him as somewhere on the AroAce spectrum too. I personally like @ozziethegreat’s HC that Color and Delta dated for a bit before breaking up, probably because this was how they both discovered they’re at least somewhere on the Aromantic spectrum and also they were both pretty lonely, but were better off as friends.

As for pronouns, perhaps he/they, but I am projecting that Color just ultimately doesn’t really grasp the idea of “gender” and so just really goes by whatever. Most call him he/him and he doesn’t bother to correct them because there’s no need. He doesn’t really consider any “social norms” in regard to clothes or gender, so he wears whatever he feels comfortable wearing.

( @lovelyheartclover ).

[temporalarts]

Hello there, I have noticed you’re a well of knowledge when it comes to iDKHOW lore. I’m struggling to find good sources of information and I’d like to learn everything there is to know; do you know how I can do this? Anything I can read/watch? I did a surface-level lore dive a year or two back but I don’t fully remember everything and I’m seeing some stuff around Tumblr I never knew about. Call me Sally Mae because I intend on uncovering everything I can about this band’s lore ;)

hi there! sorry for the late answer, have had tumblr deleted for a while.

important information about idkhow lore first:

it is NOT required to know anything about the lore of idkhow to listen or enjoy idkhow. idkhow's lore is meant to be additional story to the band and is meant for fans to explore only if they are interested. idkhow's songs/lyrics by themselves do not have story meanings. it is hugely important to recognize that idkhow as music and idkhow as a story are separate entities.

idkhow's lore is a metaphorical story for dallon's experience within the music industry and celebrity la/hollywood culture. everything in the lore is symbolic for something in real life (for example, TELLEXX is a metaphor representation of the music industry). i implore anyone getting into the lore of idkhow to treat the lore with gently and respectfully because of that reason.

idkhow's lore has mostly been uncontinued since 2020/2021 since the release of razzmatazz. SRCHPRTY (main character of the lore) has been an abandoned account since june of 2021. this is for a multitude of reasons, including dallon not wanting to have a story line with each album, lack of label support, and lack of time for the lore. because of this, a lot of information about the lore has been lost to time and is no longer available to the public. gloom division (idkhow's most recent album) does have a lore behind it, but has not had a story run like razzmatazz had yet (it could in the future, but gloom division didn't have the time or budget to at this moment). lots of amazing archivists in the community are trying to preserve the lost content over the years (ill link one available one below), but please keep that in mind while looking into the lore.

you may see mentions of ryan seaman (also referred to as subject B) mentioned in the lore and some resources. ryan seaman was the previous drummer of idkhow and is no longer in or involved with idkhow since september 16th, 2023 (due to various reasons i wont go into here, but if you dont know look up the information to why online). idkhow is now and currently a solo project of dallon weekes, but if you see any reference of idkhow being a duo or see him in resources that is why.

that out of the way, here is all the resources I could come up with!

introductory idkhow lore carrd, made by my good friend @fadeyouout! very good start to everything in the lore!

full timeline of all events from current idkhow lore, made by me!

very good place to start with the lore is the srchprty conspiracy video. introductory video to srchprty's research, basic backstory for srchprty, and the main 3 questions in the story.

ALL srchrpty diaries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! watch these chronologically as they build off one another.

if you haven't already, look through srchprty's twitter and instagram accounts. look through tweet replies/instagram comments. srchprty regularly interacted with fans while he was active and a lot of story building with TELLEXX comes from those interactions.

physical copy only extras in razzmatazz, lyrics for indoctrination and tomorrow people. razzmatazz physical versions came with two exclusive spoken word tracks, indoctrination and tomorrow people, both directly from TELLEXX.

TELLEXX documents, found in physical copy only extras in razzmatazz lyric book. includes a internal TELLEXX letter and volunteer subject consent forms.

archive of all of idkhow's instagram posts (2017-2022) made by abstracttheart on twitter. most of idkhow posts on instagram has been deleted over the years, so this is a great resource to see those deleted posts. you can most lore related posts from 2020-2021.

the mysterious world of i dont know how but they found me, dork magazine interview with dallon on the razzmatazz lore and its metaphorical meanings to him. VERY important read in my own opinion!

instagram highlights from idkhowindo: part 1, 2, 2.5, 3. their account has since been abandoned, but the archived stories are from the time of srchprty's activity and has a lot of good information in them.

questions i have answered about some idkhow lore topics in detail: what happened to srchprty, what is TELLEXX, and who is subject a. if you have any questions about the lore that you need answers to feel free to shoot me an ask in my inbox! idkhow lore is my special interest and i love answering any questions new fans have.

idkhow.com from 2020-2022 (recommend scrolling through archives of the website from wayback machine from august 2020-december 2020). the idkhow.com website during razzmatazz lore was ran by srchprty and was being recovered during the razzmatazz lore after a previous shutdown by TELLEXX in 1996.

TELLEXX stress evaluation test: may see this referenced around different lore resources, this is the official website for the test. as well as a article from the coder on how the website works to give results which is a very interesting read.

qwerty translator: TELLEXX/srchprty uses a code called QWERTY code throughout the lore, which is a letter substitution code substituting the alphabet for the QWERTY keyboard (ex: A=Q, B=W, etc). very helpful for decoding those codes!

most "niche" idkhow lore information comes from video/text interviews with dallon from 2020/2021! hard to find every single interview he does talk about the lore, but any dive into interviews from 2020 and you can find moments where he talks about razzmatazz lore. some instagram interviews from 2020 have been archived on idkhows youtube for watch.

indie pop, deep lore, and fan theories: how idkhow give there fans more than just music, tone deaf article on lore

i will update whenever i can with whatever i can find, but that is all the available resources for the lore of idkhow currently. if you (or anyone) have any questions about specific things within the lore, feel free to shoot me a question in my inbox and i will try my best to answer! enjoy!