#also sorry for not posting I've been having anxiety about posting my art here again

[adagiorii]

Little redraw of an old favourite drawing of mine, which I unfortunately lost when my previous phone fucking died so you'll have to make do with the new version ✌️🦊

[danieyells]

hi there,

thank you so much for all the voicelines you post !! if it’s okay, can i request subaru’s ?

thank you again !

You're welcome! At some point I might go back and put in the ones I leave out because they don't appeal to me as much lol but since i always end up posting 99% of them anyway I think it's enough for most people hahaha. It's all of them now! Sorry for the delay.

I WAS GONNA OMIT ONE OR TWO BECAUSE OF SPOILERS but eh i'll just warm for like. extra spoilers. since after doing more code peeking it wasn't the spoiler i thought it was. SUBARU IS A SWEETIE THOUGH. I also read Subaru's chats which were put in the code recently and. Man this guy needs anxiety meds. I have a small guess as to what his stigma is, but we'll learn in a few days anyway.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"I'm very sorry to have kept you waiting. It's wonderful to see you again."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"It looks like there's a notice for you. I'd be happy to go pick it up for you if you've got your hands full. Oh, forgive me if I'm overstepping."

oh no he's anxious about helping--

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"I really am so lucky to be surrounded by so many kind people like you."

"I never thought I'd get the chance to enjoy the lifestyle of a student until I came to Darkwick. Every day truly is fulfilling here."

it feels like subaru is like. . .the only one who actually enjoys school life here. . .or who really enjoys being here period lmao. . . .

"You think I'm always smiling? Ha ha, I hear that a lot. It just happens when I'm around all of you."

"I may be the captain, but it's just in name. I think Haku is much better suited for the job than me."

"I've been working since I was four, so people often said I was mature for my age. But the truth is, I've still got a lot to learn."

that makes two characters whose parents have essentially been keeping them from normal life and normal childhood for work reasons since they were four year olds. . . .

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"I tend to just have hot water for breakfast. I know it would be better for me to eat a proper meal, but it's just so much effort."

DO WE REALLY HAVE TO START WITH "I NEED THE GHOULS TO EAT PROPER FUCKIN MEALS". . . .

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm sorry I'm so late. The campus is so crowded I can never manage to walk in a straight line, so it always takes me longer than I think. Silly, isn't it?"

baby you're hardly the first person i've met with anxiety about crowds. you're fine.

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What would I do without Haku's help? Hotarubi would be a mess without him."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I wonder if I should apply early to take out any common artifacts I might need for this mission. I'll ask Haku what he thinks..."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ah!  You surprised me there... I just got back from a small errand. Do you need something?"

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ever since I was a child, the performing arts were my only focus. Maybe that's why people always say my mannerisms are so peculiar. It bothers you too, doesn't it?"

poor boy doesn't know how to act if he isn't acting. . .he doesn't know how to exist off-script. . .no wonder he made a deal with a demon. it's probably the first thing he's ever done for himself.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'd like to go to the cafeteria, but the line is always so long. I feel bad taking time to choose while people are waiting behind me. The bar of entry feels a little high."

i am once again suggesting subaru get anxiety meds. hell go to sinnostra and get some weed, i bet they sell that. i hear it can help.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm just about to go and meet a friend. I hate to inconvenience you like this, but if it's something urgent, could you speak to Haku about it instead?"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"What am I going to do? We're supposed to be meeting up in an hour... If I cancel now, they'll hate me..."

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whew... I'll walk you back to your house, {PC}. Oh, it's no problem at all, I assure you! I wanted some fresh air anyway."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I have an Anomalous Ecology test coming up. It's such a fascinating subject, I couldn't help but stay up all night studying. Now I'm a little sleep-deprived."

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm going to stretch my legs a little. I might not have a show to practice for right now, but I need to keep putting myself through my paces. I'll get rusty otherwise."

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm sorry my phone's been making so much noise. I recently downloaded an app by mistake, and it won't stop sending me notifications..."

awww he's also technologically incompetent. . .poor guy was probably raised with such a heavy focus on his career he just. never needed a smartphone. anyone he needed to contact or who needed to contact him was probably always very close by. it sounds like he didn't even properly go to school before going to Darkwick. Somebody please take this boy on a walk. like anywhere. take him to a library. buy him a churro. can sho make churros? this is somebody who's never had any sort of normal social experience and sees how different he is and wishes it weren't the case, unlike Ritsu who assumes everyone else is like him, i think he'd like to have some more Experiences.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"... ...Oh! Hello, {PC}—I didn't even notice you there. My mind was somewhere else."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning! Sorry? My hair's messy? You're right, it's sticking right up at the front... That's embarrassing. I'll fix it right away."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I usually have lunch in the dormitory. I do eat on the terrace with Lyca every now and then, but he seems so busy these days..."

Lyca is one of the members of Obscuary, btw! Seems like he and Subaru are friends.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"I didn't take you for a night owl, {PC}. Since you're here, I suppose I'll stay up a little longer. You're sure you're okay? You're not sleepy?"

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Do you visit Sinostra very often, {PC}? I see... Oh, no reason. I was just making conversation. Ha ha."

why do you ask that. . .a certain mafioso captain wouldn't happen to be suspicious of you would he. . .or maybe you owe them money. . .or maybe you used to be part of Sinostra and moved to Hotarubi. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"It's getting late, {PC}. How about we finish this tomorrow? Thank you for keeping me company all this time."

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to come all the way to my room to wake me up—I'd feel terrible. I do very much appreciate the thought, though."

it's okay buddy jin already makes them do it, one more pit stop won't hurt.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, hello, {PC}. Sorry, I was actually just on my way out. I should be back by evening—do you mind if we speak then?"

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Lyca has seen my message, so why hasn't he responded to it? I hope nothing bad has happened to him..."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Lyca will adapt well to human society, I'm sure of it. I'm so relieved that Darkwick chose to trust him. I can't thank you enough for your help."

he really likes Lyca huh? that is his dog.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You can't sleep? Then let me tell you some stories. Legend has it that evil spirits appear once you've told a hundred. Now, what number was I up to..."

BOY IS TRYNA GET YOUR ASS HAUNTED.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I don't want to seem like I'm testing you, I just... I get really anxious sometimes... I'm sorry. I'm being weird, aren't I?"

he's the type to ask 'are you sure you love me? are you sure you wanna be with me?' after you get married and move in together and own a house and have two kids with another on the way. he's the hyper anxious 'i'm sorry we disagreed about our favorite colors do you hate me?' friend(affectionate) I wonder though, is he apologizing for seeming like he's testing you because he's using his stigma to see what you've been up to or something. . .? Probably not lol it's more likely he just keeps asking if you like him

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"There is no time like spring. Everyone seems more relaxed this time of year. It's reassuring to see."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I have some sakura mochi. I was just about to prepare some tea to go with it—would you like to join me?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"They have no control over whether they bloom, and yet they get made a spectacle of nonetheless... Oh, sorry—I was talking about the cherry blossoms."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"There are many different flowers growing in Hotarubi, but I think the wisteria are my favorites. This is the best time to see them, so you should take a walk around."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Hot today, isn't it? It's always raining in Hotarubi, so it does provide a little escape from the blazing summer sun, but... Ha ha. It is very humid, isn't it?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Summer makes me think of the ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. The scene where Oiwa becomes hysterical, having realized her her face has been disfigured— incredible."

Yotsuya Kaidan is one of the best known japanese ghost stories! It's extremely violent, so read the summary at your discretion. The scene in question has Oiwa shown her reflection by her sister's boss to see that the cream she was given by a woman who was in love with her husband was actually some sort of poison that instantly scarred her face. She grabs a sword and goes to kill her, only for her to accidentally slit her own throat.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hotarubi House holds regular festivals during the summer months. If you need a yukata to wear, I'd be happy to pick one out for you."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't mind scary stories, but when that biwa in the tea room started playing by itself, it did make me jump a little..."

slight spoiler, although you can probably figure it out from this but. . .Zenji is a ghost. Subaru currently can't actually see him or hear his voice. . .only Haku, the pc, and, perhaps not so oddly, Towa can afair. All of his youtube content doesn't have him or his voice in it because he can't be recorded by cameras. So Subaru doesn't realize that the biwa playing on its own is actually Zenji playing the biwa.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"The air has gotten crisper, and the leaves are changing color. I know it's only natural for the seasons to shift, so why does it make my heart ache so much?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, these? They're some chestnuts I found. I know—I should give them to Sho. I'm sure he'll be able to make something delicious with them."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"That's another kuchikiri tea ceremony under my belt. It's an annual tradition where one cuts open a tea jar to reveal the tea that was preserved from the first harvest."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"On long autumn nights when the moon is shining beautifully in the sky, it's hard to resist taking a walk outside. Don't stay out until too late though, {PC}."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"...Oh, {PC}. Good morning... I had a hard time getting up today. It must be the cold... Ha ha. Not very captain-like, is it?"

Jin, Taiga, and Ed are all prone to not getting out of bed. and Yuri falls asleep on operating tables when he has down time. Trust me Subaru you are perfectly captain-like.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Today, I'm going to order ingredients from one of my favorite stores so we can all make negima—tuna and scallion—hot pot together. Please, do join us."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's cold out today. I was just thinking about lighting the fire. Would you like to come and warm up with me?"

oh subaru you don't even know how that sounds

(between 8pm and 5am)

"People say winter makes you want to snuggle up with someone, but I find that a good blanket does a much better job."

i agree that blankets are much easier to manage than people lol. probably warmer too.

His birthday: (February 20th)

"A present? For me? Thank you... I didn't expect you to do anything for my birthday, so I'm a little caught off guard. I really appreciate it."

Your birthday:

"Um... Happy birthday.  I really hope this year will be a wonderful one for you."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I hope I can depend on your guidance and support again this year."

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Chocolate? Oh, It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Does that mean these are for me...?"

nah i just wanted you to look at them. YES THEY ARE FOR YOU BBY. why would you be showing him chocolate if it wasn't for him! On any day, not just valentine's day!!

White Day: (March 14th)

"These are for you, {PC}. I put in a special order for monaka from my favorite confectioner in Ginza. They're wafers filled with bean jam—I hope you like them."

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Earlier, Haku told me he was switching houses. It gave me a real shock— I'm very relieved that it wasn't true..."

i bet subaru made the most scared kicked puppy face and started apologizing for being such an awful captain and blamed himself for that haku would go to a different house and haku had to quickly explain it was just a prank for fear that subaru might burst into tears.

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Happy Halloween. I know it's nothing special, but I've prepared some treats for the occasion. Oh... But you're more than welcome to play a trick instead."

please don't trick him. april fool's day was hard enough for him.

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. We already have our New Year decorations up in Hotarubi, so it has a real east-meets-west atmosphere now. I hope everyone is okay with it..."

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Everyone seems busy at the moment. Maybe I should use this opportunity to tidy the garden..."

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC}? Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just worried because you were so quiet..."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"You're back... I'm so relieved. I was worried I'd done something to make you feel uncomfortable..."

this man shakes like a chihuahua 24/7. like you can taste the anxiety coming off of him. i love him. he's so pathetic(affectionate). i wanna squeeze his hand reassuringly and tell him everything's gonna be okay. i wanna hug him and pat his head. i wanna take him places so he learns more about the world outside of working. i wanna watch him do schoolwork excitedly because he's never really gone to school before and it's a new and exciting experience. i want him to experience the most mundane aspects of life with wonder.

good boy. yeah. get him anxiety meds /nodnod

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[kai7kh]

Sorry, been dead for a while, will start posting soon

Some long ah talkings below the cut

..................................................................

Sooo , I've been having some difficult times in these past few weeks, it's about anxiety and my art.

I've been very hard on myself about my art and about how much attention they get, i tried to make all of them as perfect as I can draw so they would be seen. whenever I'm posting i feel SO much anxiety about how others are gonna see them, so much that i sometimes get stomachaches..

I've been drawing all day in all days and wanted to be like the artists I like, began studying their art styles in most of my time, but drawing began feeling more like a struggle rather than being fun. So it stopped me from drawing for awhile and it makes me kinda scared to post again

Recently, I was scrolling through in some of my favorite artists blog here in Tumblr (I'm too shy to call them out, but they're popular!) i saw that not all of their art gets lot of attention/likes but they are still the BEST and they got so much fans. The arts that hadn't so much likes were usually the low effort ones and they were about their expressions (like memories, opinions, talks, silly doodles and stuff). It kinda made me think, they seem so confident and they are having fun posting their arts whether it's low effort art or high effort art. I want to be like that

Im going to try reduce my anxiety and not think so much about how my drawings turn out, I'll try to enjoy the process more , like what I used to be like before i began posting online

Alsooo I'll be making some changes to this blog.

I may draw low effort art more often, I'll start rebloging others art here again(i want to show appreciations about how amazing their art are but I'm too scared to make connections with them), I may also post about none art related things (drawing is only 1 of my hobbies, maybe I'll share about things i learn in psychology , it's the degree i chose for collage) sometimes I may post writings or drawing about my personal stuff (like my thoughts, life struggles and stuff), I'll try to be more expressive, im kinda scared but i think it will help me reduce my anxiety and help me be myself. After all this app IS meant for people to have fun in it and i seem to forget that all the times

[maythearo]

I kinda accidentally been away :(

When I take a hiatus you'll see I don't announce it beforehand because it usually just happens instead of being a planned thing, so I apologize if I made people worry about me (again) but I'm doing fine! A plethora of things happened in the time being, and I feel like it's relevant to mention them here for some clarity. (I didn't intend to make this post so long, I'll crop here so it's easier to navigate)

First I feel like I have been falling out of love with art as a whole. My interest in a lot of stuff has been fading away, I haven't been keeping up with twst for one, and since a lot of my inspiration comes from the stuff I'm hyperfixating on I barely have been creating anything. My uni assigments so far were uninspired at best lol it sucks my mood relies so much on art and vice versa. The only times I feel actual joy is when I'm hanging out with my friends every now and then, I'm mostly alone through the rest of the week.

And it's with this habit of going out that I fluctuated towards using less social media. I don't think I ever liked having a presence online, and that's something I've been doing since highschool for no reason that matters to me anymore. Just quitting isn't something I can do because first, I think it's important getting my news from it; and second, I still want to do commissions, and I'm aiming to turn my socials into something more professional in the near future, rather than the life diary that I had a tendency of building them as. Of course there's nothing wrong with making socials a personal thing, it's just not my style, and with my anxiety of being perceived I realized I can only handle so much of it lol

I also had some personal losses, and it feels like a lot of people around me were having a hard time with theirs coincidentally, so that made me kinda sad too. I won't specify much but I think that's worth mentioning.

The tldr is that I'm lost, I don't know how I got here, and I feel like it only gets worse the longer I stand around doing nothing but I prefer to think that sometimes things get worse before they get better, I know they will get better.

I'm writing all of this from the perspective of how I feel at the moment, the conclusions I'm taking with this kinda depressive state of mind, so I imagine things can still change once I begin to feel brighter again, who knows.

Thank you for everyone who left kind messages on my askbox after all this time, idk if I can reply to all individually but I did read them and I appreciate them very much! I hope everyone is doing well too and staying safe.

And on a side note I'm sorry to the people who asked other things related to my art/blog way before I took this break, I wanted to answer them in a fun way but they've gathered too much dust by now and my inspiration is long gone. I think I'll be cleaning up my askbox since the longer I leave it unnatended the more overwhelmed it makes me feel 😥 I messed it up this time I admit, I apologize again to everyone I kept waiting.

I have a few old drawings I haven't shared here yet, maybe I'll post them if I manage to remember it :)

[thechthonicherbalist]

A belated Hiatus Post

I have been rather inactive for the past 3 months & received a lot of notifs about it. I won't be able to answer all of them, sorry for that. Here's my attempt to try & lay open a little why I've been gone and what the coming months will bring. I have pondered long how to write this in the least hurtful way, while also expressing my own emotions & experiences.

Those of you, who have followed my journey on pretty much any other page, probably know that I'm chronically ill with autoimmune disease, homebound since over a decade, that I got cardiovascular damage as a side effect & that since 2021/22 my condition severely worsened & often leaves me mostly bedridden for weeks at a time. I shared about the numerous surgeries & medical treatments I had in the past year, how I've slowly lost the ability to digest food before & require parenteral nutrition via an IV port since September '23. As well as how I tested positive for GI cancer in March. I've been waiting for an appointment to remove growths, cauterize multiple ulcers & take tissue samples to test for malignant cells since & been gone for a 6 week long hospital stay with a number of surgeries after September 16th & was taking time to recover from that since.

My mental health has gone really bad in the past year as well, for a number of other reasons but also this. I've experienced the biggest cptsd relapse I've had in the past 20 years in the past 14 months. I went from stable & happy, despite my illness and a low-contact situation with family, after almost 2 decades of therapy & inner child healing to escape and recover from an abusive childhood home; keeping my cortisol low and my nervous system calm to prevent further autoimmune flares & to be able to cope with my fatigue enough to do my work and happily make art and write... ...to the point where since about a year I'm in the middle of a full blown relapse of complex PTSD, severe depression and anxiety that has little to do with my offline life. Despite numerous attempts to resolve or remove myself from the underlying situation in order to preserve my well-being and safety, requesting acute intense psychiatric care during hospital stays more than 8 times, as well as consulting regular therapy sessions in social psychiatric help centres since January and ultimately return to therapy since June, I've only started to experience relief more recently.

🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐

And this is where the good news start!

🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐

In the past 2 months, I have finally been able to take care of myself, my work, household and hobbies & properly rest again, without constant exposure to anxiety inducing situations. And while the time in which I had surgery was still horrendous for a number of situations related to this, I have at least started chemotherapy now, without having to constantly fear that something terrible will happen again when I'm most vulnerable right before, during or right after my treatments or other crisis in my private life. So far the treatment is effective, even though I have all the unpleasant side effects that come with it. Overall my life is much calmer now and I don't live in constant anxiety anymore, which is a huge win for me. Moving forward, I want to return to doing things that are good for me & were originally intended for this blog, now that I can finally rest, heal, take care of my health and actually thrive & be productive at my own pace in peace.

So despite the fact that I won't be super active, here are my plans for the future:

Make more original art and art dedicated to my own passions and projects again and actually post them. I had started a series on learning to do folkloric art as well as a series on intrudcing MBTI personalities, glimpses into their lives, lots of research, writing small articles and doing my own art for this, in 2022.

Return to my passion projects from 2022/2023 (all NSFW): - My 9-pieced fanfiction series "Lestat's Lovers" and Art for it - My 8-pieced fanfic series "Things I didn't tell Thetis" - My 4-pieced series "To love a thing Death can touch" I have wanted to continue writing for a long time. The plot for the first one has been with me for 17 years & is deeply intertwined with my internal universe. I've always hungered to write & share it with the world with the art I used to make for it, but never finished or even started. It was devastating to be unable to do that for so long.

Post about my journey as a native practitioner of Bohémien Romani Culture, Slavo-Celtic Shaman-/Druidism and Kabbalistic Judaism, as well as the taught believes of Hellenism, Christianity and Christian Satanism in the past 20+ years, present and future.

Translate & publish the vast knowledge I've assembled about herbs & other natural substances, their uses in historic and folk medicine, magic, alchemy, spirituality, etc, their historic significance and much more. It's been a big interest since my childhood, I was taken on hikes to collect herbs & materials for homemade remedies and other things and taught how to make them from scratch, since I could be taken out in a baby sling.

Make blog posts about my culture, including its folklore, mythology, rites, magic etc. and post them here. (I borrowed books about this from the library, so I can give reading recommendations and cite interesting sources! :D)

Create a side blog about my music recommendations, as I'm very passionate about a lot of genres and want to keep things more sorted. <3

Stop being scared to make posts for my mental health & healing journey again, even if they might still get misinterpreted. I can't take the responsibility to manage others' perception & emotions or literally anything else they should work out themselves.

[irbcallmefynn]

Okay this is a very hard post for me to make but i feel like i have to make it. I can't be quiet about this any more. I can't keep saying it where nobody will see it because i need people to see it. If the friends of anyone mentioned in this post want to send it their way, feel free. This is not a call-out post. This is an apology, and an ask for explanation.

I want to preface what I'm about to say with: I'm not mad at anyone mentioned in this post. I don't think anybody in The Creachures is. We all miss you and wish things could've worked out. I'm sorry if what I say comes off as hostile or aggressive, I'm not great at wording this sort of thing, and it's coming from a place of much emotion.

@hexedbug @juneibyou @xxthunderthedragon @bobisnotaperson @razzytism

You five have caused me a lot of stress and anxiety in not telling me what i did to hurt you. You haven't given me the opportunity to improve upon myself or correct these transgressions, or even apologize to you. I'm sure you're all at least somewhat aware of how I handle feelings like this, and I understand you not wanting to pander to me or hurt yourself by putting up with me and my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. But you all let me down very harshly, and I've been unable to move past what happened because of it. You've made being on Tumblr miserable, to the point you're making me consider quitting Tumblr, because being on here and seeing you constantly and feeling that sense of hatred hurts, especially when you're being closer to my friends than they are with me. I've been told you don't hate me, but it's hard to believe and accept that when, in my head, you've all decided to block me for unknown reasons, and denied me the ability to apologize.

Hexed. I understand you find what I post about weird. And I understand I was interacting with people who "dragged the server down". You're the one I understand the reasoning of the most. Not following me back because you don't like my posts is fine, though you could've just blocked tags/post content about that stuff. If I was tagging things improperly you should've told me so I could correct it, instead of letting it sit inside you until you couldn't handle it. I get I was encouraging people to vent in Tau Heximus 2, something you didn't want. But again, you should have said something, or done something. I contributed to making your server a place you didn't enjoy. I feel like you wanted both a strictly positive place, and a place where people can be honest and close, two things that don't mesh. I chose the one that I enjoyed more, a close, honest community. I'm sorry I went against your wishes.

June. When you left the server, you said that "Bug Squad" were real ones, and that you still liked us. You then went on to call us and our friends Delusional for starting a new server after the old server's death. That hurt immensely. I understand you were in an emotional place, but using a word like that is not acceptable. You also went to my girlfriend's private vent blog to target it directly. You're the only one I ever blocked, because you were being actively hateful, and betrayed my trust directly. I have since unblocked you, though, because I'm not mad at you, not anymore. You were trying to cope with what happened, and I get it. I just wish you handled things more gracefully and politely. I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you, besides joining a new server. Just, please, work on your emotional control some, so outbursts like this don't happen again.

Thunder. You're the one I miss the most. I felt so close to you. You almost felt like a brother to me. But the way you've been avoiding bringing up what I did to hurt you makes me feel like you either don't want me to know what i did, or don't know what I did yourself. I just wish you'd be more open to talking, so we can work things out. I'm so sorry for hurting you.

Bobbu. I thought we were still friends when you invited me to join Art and Slimes. I turned it down because I don't think I could handle a server of that size, and had already joined the new server. While we maybe weren't as close as some of the others, I still considered you a friend. I'm sorry for whatever I did.

Raz. I am so, so sorry for everything that happened. TH2 was the only place that you had found comfort and support in to such a degree, and I've been worried about how you've been without that support. I feel like you used to trust me a lot, enough to confide in me about some of your issues. I wish I knew what I did to betray that trust.

There's three others I wish to bring up that haven't hurt me as bad, but I still wish to say something to.

Mars, I'm glad we're still friends. But it feels like you're less a part of Bug Squad than you are Hexed and June's friend group. I'm always worried about the state of our friendship, since you interact with them so much more than Me, Rico, and Tetra. I just feel excluded and neglected, is all. I'm sorry.

Yaza, I don't know how to feel about you. You're clearly more of June and Hexed's friend than mine. Clearly you don't like the new server because we kept bringing this stuff up in the early days, and I'm so sorry for that. I just wish we could still be friends. Because right now it doesn't feel like you want to be my friend.

Eblu. I don't know what to think of you. You're a good guy, really. But when you say you're my friend and then turn around a few days later and say "if you're friends with [close friend of mine] don't interact with me" I have issues with that. Deciding that everyone who's friends with someone is now bad because they made a mistake is not okay. Yes, it was bad that it happened. Yes, that friend should've been more careful. You are valid for being upset by what you saw. But you don't have to declare everyone who likes that person undesirable. You took it too far.

There are two things I did that I feel I need to apologize for that I actually know of.

When Tau Heximus 2 was dying, I had said that killing the server would kill me. That was disgusting of me. I should not have said that. It was emotionally manipulative of me. I was scared, and confused, I had never experienced something like that before, the loss of somewhere that felt like home, it really felt like I was going to die, and I spoke with my heart instead of my head. If this is what I did to hurt you, I am deeply sorry for saying something so uncomfortable. I'm doing my best to keep my emotional responses under control. And I hope that should anything like that happen again, I won't have such a dramatic response.

I would also like to apologize for being so difficult to help. Whenever I'm offered advice on how to improve or fix something, I have a habit of coming up with excuses, or just flat out rejecting it. I don't mean to come off as ungrateful or opposed to your help. Stressful situations cause me to mentally shut down in a way where anything to help that takes even a slight amount of effort becomes an insurmountable task. I'm trying my best to be more receptive of help, even if it's just agreeing that it would help. I just wish I had the means and energy to actually act on the advice. I am so sorry for anyone who I've hurt by denying your help. Offering me advice does help me mentally, because it lets me know people care, but I feel terrible that I hurt people by not being able to accept and act on the help.

This isn't a call-out post. This is me asking for clarification on what I did wrong, apologizing for what I know I did, and wishing to clear things up.

Thank you for reading.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, sorry if you've answered this question before but what is your best song from Face?

***

Hi @tabbypuppykitty

I’ve had a rethink. I think Face-off is now my favourite song on the album.

Set Me Free Pt 2 is still top 3, but Jimin’s enunciation on Face-off brings a smile to my face every time I hear it because that man is too damn sassy for his own good lool.

In the latest Suchwita episode, Hobi revealed that Jimin practiced live singing six hours everyday before and during FACE promotions.

Six hours. Every day.

That made me pause. I started thinking about everything that happened during FACE. I don't talk about this at all here because I won't ever share personal pictures and I know I was incredibly lucky and many other people here likely deserved to see him before I did, but I saw Jimin live during his very first shows for FACE.

He was so happy. The joy on his face and the way he worked the crowd... like a fish in water. He gave some of the best performances of the year during FACE promotions. The whole project and the thoughtful way he went about promoting the album, is noteworthy.

(You should watch this if you haven't already)

*

But then I remembered the BS, the way k-pop stans reacted to the album, to the MVs, to the encore stage, the way BTS akgaes indulged in their sociopathy on his account, how BigHit failed (the anger Jimin biases feel is justified but some of y'all are wallowing in it). I remembered a few of Jimin's Wlives, how so much has been going on for him this year, and then tried to fit 6 hours daily practicing into it...

I have to stop myself when I think about Jimin. He has such latent intensity, like a glamour, a force field around him... it's like a black hole that sucks everything, including you, into him and his world. It scares me.

I know I whine about Jimin biases but y'all amaze me ngl. It takes a special fortitude of heart to bias Jimin. This post already sounds incredibly effusive, but I don't believe I'm exaggerating when I say he's a truly beautiful person. It's almost as though the world does not deserve him. It's impossible to not love him, desire him, care for him... want more sooner for him. I see all that, but I also see that man is stubborn as fuck.

He took his time to start work on his solo album. The middle of the Vegas concerts is when he said he suddenly came to his senses, shook himself out of that trance, and earnestly started putting together the FACE project. He'd written songs before, but FACE was its own thing. The personal stories he chose to communicate, the care in lyricism and production, the quality... Jimin created art in FACE and trusted that those who care for nothing but the best, will love it.

That's sexy, but the way he went about it also betrays a conservatism in him. It's a shadow of the edge in him, that thing about him that causes a tinge of anxiety when you watch him too closely.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but what I mean to say is you need a special kind of courage to bias and love Jimin. I recognize that. When I write what I do here, I always remember that. I also have very little respect for solos. And those two sentiments aren't mutually exclusive.

But taking it back to Face-off, my favourite thing about it is Jimin's sense of humour and skill coming through in the song, as well as how he enunciates his words. To really hear the switch in his tone, you need to stream in this order:

Like Crazy > Alone > Set Me Free Pt 2 > Face-off

By the time you get to Face-off, Jimin's voice has already gone through every variation possible, but then he brings out a tone I've heard only one other artist do well (Rihanna), and that tone is disgust.

Pure, refined sass. And he's already got the sauciest voice in k-pop.

The melodic and tonal choices Jimin makes at these timestamps fucks with my head:

1:53 - 2:08;

2:16 - 2:25;

2:41 - 2:56....

(lol, at this rate you might as well just listen to the whole song again.) Jimin is fantastic in the whole thing.

Europe is where Jimin belongs, but America would eat Jimin up too. The country already does if we're being real, America already loves Jimin. But given the right concept, Jimin would devour because he always does, and the world should get to see it. I hope I get to see more of it. As I've said before, if you feel inclined to communicate that to BigHit, I strongly suggest you do.

During Suchwita, Hobi showed how he's planned content for fans almost years in advance. It's possible Jimin does this too, planning music and content for fans to see months later... (So we might not learn why he went to London, for months...)

Yeah... I don't have the strength of heart to bias Jimin. Good luck to y'all.

*

...that was kind of a lot lool. So to calm down, Jimin:

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

Anyway, sorry I rambled. Face-off is a really good song and Jimin did an excellent job on it. The whole project is very good so I can't wait for the next songs we get from him. Shit can't get worse than BB deleting D2C sales so on the bright side, we can only go up from here, and for Jimin who already owns the record as the first soloist in history to debut #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, up will be a good spot to be.

Stream Like Crazy, Seven, All Day, and HUH?!

[lousirs]

this is a dump about the uglydolls movie novel 💋💋💋

Alrighty I'm basically a regular here SO LETS GET TO IT

lodoeheie so I just got the movie novel of uglydolls because i need to fill my hunger for uglydolls content and THERE R SO MANY LITTLE DETAILS AND DIFFERENCES IN THE BOOK???!!???

ok so Lou's monologue in the pipes are completely different and they kind of point out details about Lou like his loafers being expensive and allat

BUT IM NOT TALING ABOTU TAGT

there's this one part in the book where they are about to reveal Ox after the all dolled up scene and instead of Ox, Nolan was behind Lou???? I think it was just supposed to show how awkward Nolan is idk 💀💀

ALSO for some reason I feel like EVERUTIME Nolan made an appearance they always described him as "the handsome doll" and I find that so so silly but I love it

oh YEYEHA it's implied in the book that the dolls wear their own clothes when they aren't doing training which was not the case in the movie (probably due to animation complications)

in the gauntlet scene, in the book, it was Mandy who kinda taunted Lou to participate in the gauntlet rather than him deciding to buy himself. Also it made me think why he even decided to join it in both medias when he knew he'd fail but my friend and I just established that at that point he was probably already batshit crazy and had nothing to lose

the whole Ox flashback part was longer and had more details to it. So both Lou and Ox went for the gauntlet together and completed it but it showed that they failed and everyone thought it was Ox that caused them to fail when it was really Lou (kind of sad that Lou probably knew it was himself and had to put the blame on Ox)

it was also mentioned that both Lou and Nolan have somewhat of a muscular build so time to make some new head cannons

IM SO SORRY THAT THESE POINTS WERE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THERE'S TYPOS EVERYWHERE

I just found thrse so interesting I'm so sorry

the book is pretty good imo (probably biased) and there's more stuff than what I put here so DEFINITELY go read it for yourself

why hello, we meet again... time for more rambling xD STRAP IN EVERYONE!

yes!! i've known about the novel for a hot minute. i haven't bought or read it (...yet) but i remember seeing silentreadersmatter (i believe?) post about it on wattpad... so shoutout to them lol. anywho time to respond to each thing mentioned in order (just about)...

lou with loafers!!: i always assumed he wore some sort of fancy shoewear... so it's nifty that they added clarification i guess xD

awkward nolan: awkward nolan is the superior nolan (in my opinion. i'm sorry lads)... i see nolan be depicted as a 'uwu soft boy bottom" most of the time... but i always thought he was just a awkward doll. like, an anxious mess that is trying his best but fumbles constantly. he's a ball of anxiety, and i love him. ANYWAYS

buff nolan real??: GOSH, I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE NOTICED THE MUSCULAR NOLAN THING. i always imagined nolan to be taller than the other dolls (he isn't really in the film but i always headcanoned it so because his uniform is smaller as if he was too big for it) but once i saw him be called "handsome" and "tall" and "muscular" in the novel, i flipped. the little baby boy is actually a BIG BUFF BABY. i have a doodle of this from a few months ago heheh... (thank you for giving me an excuse to show it because it's been lingering in my files for a while LMAO)

^^^ lou is just trying to act evil and devious but he got this tall, handsome muscular doll getting in his way xD

ohhh but i can just imagine instead of the robot dog taking lou to the washer, nolan personally picks him up and drags him there. now THAT'S a moment i want to see.

fashion: oh, i didn't know about the clothes thing! DAMNIT i want to see them all in casual clothing, so i know what kind of styles they wear!! i mean, there's a concept art with lou in a white jumper with a golden 'L' on it... but that's all.

i have my headcanons for what they wear, but it would be cool to see... especially since most other dolls normally do have numerous outfits for the kids to dress them up in.

gauntlet: yeah, lou kinda lost the plot around that point. i would take a guess that he was probably unnerved by just basically killing two dolls, one that he knew (possibly for a while) and one that was close to his old friend, so when he saw mandy still alive he was like "well sh*t." and then came the downward spiral of him trying to sabotage the others, before inevitably sabotaging himself. ...but i think the book's version of mandy getting the crowds to peer pressure lou to joining the gauntlet made more sense (lou's reputation would be at stake and his reputation is basically all he has) than him joining anyways in the film. i guess they tried to make it make more sense with the whole "I don't even have to win. I just need to make sure you lose." but ehh... eh....

ox's tragic anime backstory: yes!! they should've done this version in the film honestly. perhaps they could've even shown lou's regret for lying to basically his only friend. ...oh wait, i forgot. lou's meant to be a 100% evil villain who kicks babies. anyways, again i feel that the novel made more sense than the canon we got in film. i guess in the film ox got recycled because he was causing others to fail by accident? but the novel's version is much more interesting.

if i remember correctly (and if i don't, count this as a rewritten version lol) the assistant robots took ox away after he 'failed' in the novel. i can imagine a scene where we are in ox's perspective, being forcefully dragged away to the pipes whilst lou looks at him, dread and sadness written across his face, yet he doesn't try to stop the robots. he just stands there, biting back his guilt. ohh... if only...

STRONG BOYS!!: heheheheh strong nolan and lou... would be funny if nolan didn't appear strong, but is actually stronger than lou. but then again, how can you tell if the doll is strong? they all look like same. lou says his arms are bumped or whatever in ugly truth but WHERE? WHERE'S THE BUMPED ARMS LOU??

anywho, thank you for the novella lore dump! for anyone who is interested, go check out the novel as well. it's pretty interesting if you are deep into doll purgatory. (also it's mentioned that ox used to wear a fedora from what i remember)(THAT IS TERRIBLE. I LOVE IT)

[yukipri]

Wanted to make a quick apology.

There will be no Prime Override chapter update tonight.

Reasons are kinda depresso, so beneath cut. No need to read.

This week has been...rough. I wanted to bask in the satisfaction of having finished my May 4th art, but instead I've been spending every spare moment fighting art theft, some of the art that I'd literally just posted. I've filed numerous DMCA copyright takedown requests on Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest (well over a hundred here). I know there are more out there. I am exhausted, and it's a second type of burn out, a worse kind, on top of the burn out of drawing.

I wanted to apologize because this means that instead of drawing or writing, I was copy-pasting links and explaining to various social media staff why thieves shouldn't be allowed to post my work. How "do not repost" is on my watermark on my art itself, how it's on all my socials bios, how it's in my FAQ. Instead of drawing or writing, I had to read the comments other folks were giving people who did not contribute a single second to my work.

I was aiming to get a new chapter of the Prime Override out tonight, but I could not even start.

So yeah. I'm sorry. The emotional toll aside, the very real fear-of-safety anxiety aside (since, y'know, filing DMCAs essentially means doxxing yourself to every thief), this also just took up all the time I would have otherwise spent on art and, it didn't happen.

I also wanted to say thank you.

Many times this week I felt like an absolute idiot, a complete and utter fool for bothering to feel motivated and excited about creating, for being excited to share it, when this is the result. Especially after the marathon effort I'd just gone through...it felt like punishment, in a way, for daring to think my work is worth anything. I will, can, and have left fandoms in the past for art theft, and part of me wondered if the time had come for me this time as well.

In those times, I scrolled mindlessly through the comments y'all have left me. Both on my art posts, in the tags and such on Tumblr, and just going through all my fics on AO3, just kinda reading all the kind words you folks have left me on my work blearily through my tears, to remind me why it's worth it, and it's not just people who want to hurt me out there.

The vast majority of you are so kind, so generous, have taken the time to look at my work and give a like, a reblog, a kudos, a retweet, or the greatest gift in the form of your thoughts and allowing me to feel that I've connected with you.

So thank you. I've had a rough week, but I'll get back up again. I'll try to get out the next chapter, the next art, as soon as I am able. Until then, please know that I appreciate you, and I hope that my future work can mean something to you too.

[ursachaotic]

Ok this might be a little weird and I want to tell this to you anonymously because I don't want to make you feel pressured into answering ^^' (let it be known I am a mutual of yours & I know we don't talk but I think you're really cool <:) Your genuine love for Gravity Falls and you excitement about The Book of Bill is kind of. Helping me rekindle old love for the franchise. I stopped interacting with it more or less involuntarily (bad experience with bad people) and felt bad that I can't get into it but honestly your interest did help me rediscover it, or at least start to do so. Like I've picked up my old Journal 3 a couple times this week, I thought about re-watching the show, I bookmarked the cheapest "to be released" listings for TBOB in the online shops in my country, I have the thisisnotawebsitedotcom bookmarked too. I've been picking up my hand-made-from-a-towel Bill plush and just looking at him. Thinking about trying to find his hat and make him a new bow because I took them off when it was just too awful to perceive.

I hope this isn't weird. I genuinely don't mean to be weird or trigger your anxiety or anything, I mean it. Your love for this show and everything around it is helping me a bit to rediscover my own, which is great, because as someone with interest in folklore, the paranormal and cryptids, GF was an amazing thing to discover. I myself made a grown up version of Dipper, who's a full-on cryptid hunter and wrote a lot of stories about him, later turning that concept into my own thing because it was too painful to keep but I loved all of the creatures I made and the lore and stuff. So I just took my ideas and moved it into my own thing, which is currently my most developed universe with my most beloved ocs.

This is lengthy. Sorry. Again, I genuinely don't want to creep you out, just, I'm glad I found you and your art and your comic and that you're so excited about your interests. Please know that you are never bad or annoying for loving what you love, please continue being so passionate about things, because it's really cool. You're cool. I hope you know that ^^ and, well, if not, I'm telling you. You're cool and your work is amazing.

(If you would prefer me to pm you feel free to post about it here or your personal? blog, whichever you're cool with, I'll probably see it and can just pm you with like "haha yeah I'm the long rekindled-interest anon" or you can answer this or just read & delete, I really don't mind if you don't want to answer ^^. Just, wanted to say this. Again I hope this isn't weird ;w; I swear I'm just a little adhd guy who used to love GF a lot, and possibly might be okay enough to start interacting with it on his own. And your love for the franchise helped.)

Hi this made me tear up (iN A GOOD WAY I PROMISE AHSDOFISADH I CRY WHEN I'M HAPPY LOL), this is seriously so, so sweet. Thank you so much for sending me this!! 🥹 I'm really glad that all of my silly Gravity Falls stuff has helped you get back into the show, and I hope you enjoy it and enjoy the Book of Bill if you get it!

Also, this seriously means a lot to me, especially because I'm actually really self-conscious about my interests and passions haha. I'm terrified of being seen as annoying, and there's been a lot of times recently where I've shut down out of the fear of being annoying about my interests. But I'm starting to not give a shit about whether or not people find me annoying online?? I want to be super vocal about something I adore so damn much cause it makes me happy! I've also been burnt out on drawing for a WHILE, but reading this book has given me so much inspiration, and drawing feels really fun and exciting again for the first time in a while! I struggle with depression a lot too, but my love for Bill and excitement about what's to come for the series has helped me feel really happy and kept me going for the first time in a bit. So, while I'm still scared of being perceived as annoying, I'm really happy right now and I want to keep doing stuff that makes me happy, even if that's just drawing Bill antagonizing me / my sona lmao. Seriously, thank you so much for sending me this! It's incredibly sweet and I'm really grateful that you did ;w;

Also you can absolutely reach out over DMs!! I would love to talk, but I hope you're having a wonderful day!! 🥹❤️

[deesi-academia]

hey, I saw the anti swiftie post. If you're comfortable mag I know the reason why? I am kinda neutral about her but I feel like I should know stuff. I understand if you don't wanna answer this. Take care <3

(also I agree the swiftie fandom is kinda annoying lmao)

hello old old old anon ask I'm so sorry for replying so late but yeah hi 😭

I have tons of time on my hands for the next.... 30 minutes so let's get into it. I'll list a time line of my thought process to how I came to the 'ex-swiftie' conclusion:

1. She released a song called "renegade" which is good, but I found some lines problematic and unexpected, because I used to hold swift to a pedestal (guilty as charged).

The lines were 'is it insensitive of me to say get your shit together so I can love you' and 'is it really your anxiety stopping {something love something idk} or do you just not want to?' SOOOOO yeah these thew me off a little.

2. Her album Midnights came out which I ADORED, became my fav so quick. But then her multiple variations of vinyls etc threw me off again. This is when the Bad Feeling About Her started setting in.

3. Then she released the song 'You're losing me' which just BLARED red flags to me even though the song is actually good. It's the first time I think, where she hinted that she broke up with her bf (Joe Alwyn) because of his mental illness.

4. The ongoing carbon emissions controversy lol, and her buying carbon credits... like it just felt like a "hah I'm rich so I can do whatever wrongs i want and buy it out" moment. I really hated that, since I live in a pretty polluted city so it hit close to home.

5. She threatened to sue the teenager who published PUBLIC data about her flights. Bad.

6. The entire free palestine movement gained momentum and she stayed silent. She has her image as the American Princess and Activist Who Can Do No Wrong. Feminist Queen. Speaker For Those Who Can't Speak. Yada Yada.

I simply hated her billionaire self as she chose to stay silent (and still is). To call off the criticism she and her bestie Selena went to a live comedy show where the comedian donated his earnings for Gaza relief. LIKE. ??????? Basic billionaire below underground level of "donation"???? This had to be a joke. It was not.

I think this incident was the final straw for me where I realized I can't support her if she's such a human being. That's not what my morals stand for thank you very much.

7. I REALLY tried to separate the art from the artist but I couldn't. Not with my sane mind and strong ethics. AND THEN the entire Matty healy debacle. He's a misogynistic, racist, zionist, ugh of a person.

I don't think anyone can date someone with such drastic opposing values. So the Taylor-Matty era further tarnished her image in front of me.

8. Fast forward and she releases her new album The Tortured Poets Department. That's it this was my final straw. You can just Google and go on a reddit thread about how problematic this album is. I'll probably write a long ass essay on it. Anyway this is where I decided I'm done, back in April.

Since then I've just been trying to cope with losing my fav artist because of the person she turned out to me. And people say we shouldn't hold celebs to such high standards but bro. Taylor PROMOTES parasocial relationships. SHE held her image to that standard until recently. There's an entire documentary on Netflix about that - Miss Americana.

So yeah she let me down from the pedestal she put herself on. It's been 2+ months and I'm still coping, because I genuinely lost a very important part of my life - her music. It has got me through tough times and I have many good memories associated with those songs.

Anyway, here's to new artists to love ONLY for their music lol 🥂

[onlyplatonicirl]

im sorry if this is kind of like a vent post a little bit but i just want to get it off my chest

Interacting with utmv tumblr lately has been giving me anxiety. I feel scared that like, everyone hates me even though I literally do nothing except write my fic and I just try to be friendly and kind to everyone who also likes all the sans undertales but then other people get mad at me for being kind to the "wrong" people, which is how i got put on a "proshipper" list despite not being a proshipper and strongly disliking problematic content.

I'm scared of utmv "antis" because i see so many people's blogs where they talk CONSTANTLY about hating proshitters and find joy in starting drama, which is a horrible and extremely detrimental mentality to have. I thought we were here to enjoy utmv, not... shittalk everyone we dont like. I'm scared of utmv "proshippers" because i dont want to be associated with or see dark content or anything nsfw at all because i am very uncomfortable, I just.

Want to be normal. I want to have fun. I want to be a nice person. I feel like everyone hates each other and has so much underlying beef with each other and whenever I reblog art I get nervous if the artist secretly hates me or something.

tldr im just really tired. Nothing happened to prompt this im just. H.

if you have beef with each other thats fine but like. dont drag me into it, please just block other people you dont like, callout blogs and callout posts dont do anything except create food fights unless you have solid proof of someone being a genuine piece of shit (a groomer, a transphobe, yadda yadda).

I've never understood the need to constantly complain about things. It drives me away because it makes me miserable. I hate dreammare but I don't even think you could keyword-search a single result about it on my blog if you tried. Because I just don't talk about it at all. Which I don't understand why it isn't the norm.

In my life I've lived I've grown so tired of anger and hatred, I've been surrounded in it to the point where it makes me sick, and i cannot hold onto it for more than an hour. I don't hold grudges, I don't hate, and if I dislike someone I will just not talk to them because I would rather stick dynamite up my nose than be the cause of online drama and shittalking. There are a few people on this platform that I strongly dislike and think should not have a platform due to their actions but I don't want to engage in war. I'm not interested.

Drama is not fun and it never has been when it's over things that don't matter. If you find it fun you need to severely re-evaluate yourself.

again this isn't directed at anything in particular i just dont like being nervous all the time.

[hlootooart]

Status Report #4

Hey guys. So...it's about the end of the year isn't it? My, how time flies...

Let's get this out of the way--obviously the project didn't come when I wanted it to. I'm sorry for getting any hopes up. As I've said earlier, I was mostly working on my mental health for these last few months. I've been taking therapy, medications, etc to get my mindset in a healthy area. I'm also looking for another job that'll help me get out more. In addition to the guilt and disappointment of missing my deadlines, I'm also struggling with anxiety in general along with anhedonia and who knows what else. I'm desperately trying to get back into my old hobbies and some new ones to keep me healthy.

I won't make the mistake of making a new deadline for this project. It'll just have to come out when it comes out. I'll at least try to post some art here, now that my mental health is improving. That's really the best news I have for now. Hopefully if I continue to work on it, it may actually lead to an increase in art again.

Thank you guys for your support.

[veinsfullofstars]

TEMP UPDATE 02/19/25: Asks are currently open for this Kirby Ship Ask Game if you'd like to toss one into the box! Check the #veins answers tag to see which questions for which ships have already been answered!

⭐ Welcome! ⭐

Henlo. Hope you’re doing well. Thanks for poppin’ by. I’m VeinsFullOfStars, an art goblin on the internet with abnormal levels of anxiety and chronic video game brainrot, and this is my introduction post. Any updates or news on my end will be added here as well. I hope you’ll be patient with me and enjoy your visit!

(Last updated 02/18/25)

---

Who are you?

A sad pile of meat barely surviving on a very lucky rock in space, just like everyone else... but you can called me Veins. Ivan or Yves is fine, too. Nice to meet you!

Wait, didn't you already have an account here? With the same username?

I did. I, uh, panic-deleted it in response to the data-scraping fiasco and regretted it almost immediately. As a result, you might see reblogs from the deactivated account still floating around. There is, unfortunately, nothing I can do about those unless the blogs that shared them take them down themselves (and, hey, if you happen to be one of those folks seeing this, I'd super appreciate it if you'd maybe remove the old reblog and replace it with the new one from here if you can). It's my mistake for overreacting, and now I just have to live with it. Sorry for any confusion.

What are your preferred pronouns/gender?

Thanks for asking! I’m non-binary, and I use they/them pronouns.

How old are you?

Ancient (in my 30s).

What is your avatar supposed to be?

A goblin. Very smol, very nervous, very puntable.

What are you using this blog for?

Art, mostly. I draw digitally and rarely make stuff with yarn. I've also been writing since I could hold a pencil (though I don’t have much finished, so art will be the main focus for now). Also, expect a lot of reblogs, shitposts, and/or silence between posts - I am a simple hobbyist and neurodivergent as hell in a very exhausting world. I’ll do my best, but - again - I hope you’ll be patient with me if things go quiet from time to time.

What are your interests?

I love stories. I love characters. I love folks who can weave whole worlds with nothing but words on a page or color on a canvas. I grew up on fantasy novels, short horror stories, and late ‘90s/early ’00s animation. Later on, I learned to appreciate slice-of-life and slow-burn romance (especially the queer kinds). Mythology and folklore also slaps, and I wonder sometimes if I should’ve majored in psychology instead of lib arts. My playlists are nothing but video game OSTs with a little heavy metal and j-rock sprinkled in for flavor. I sold my soul to Nintendo years ago, but sometimes I find indie darlings to fall in love with for a time. Dogs are adorable little menaces, and I love them all with my whole chest. Cats are okay, and I am allergic to them. (Does that answer the question? I think I lost track towards the end there…)

Any current hyperfixations?

Tons, but the biggest ones at the moment are Kirby, Hollow Knight, and Paper Mario. More nebulous interests include (in no particular order) Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, Rain World, Stardew Valley, most Soulsborne titles, Hades, Darkest Dungeon, The Legend of Zelda, Undertale/Deltarune, OFF, The Binding of Isaac, Ace Attorney, Luigi's Mansion, Animal Crossing, The Magnus Archives, Sonic the Hedgehog, and countless more. When I say “multifandom,” I mean it, homie.

Do you have any other social media?

Just this and an AO3 account. So, if you see my name anywhere but these two places, it’s probably not me. For now, Tumblr will be the best place to keep up-to-date with my stuff. If anything changes, I’ll let y’all know here.

Do you have a list of tags you use on your posts?

I tag things obsessively, but I’ll try to sort out the most relevant/unique ones I use here:

#veins art - for any art I’ve made (chrono link | masterpost)

#veins fanart - for art I’ve made featuring characters from other IPs

#veins ocs - for art I’ve made featuring my original characters/stories

#veins sketches - for any of my unrendered doodles/sketch dumps

#veins old art - for reposts of older art I made before moving to Tumblr (Note: these posts are here for archival purposes and may not reflect my current style/interests.)

#veins writes - for any written works I’ve made

#veins ships - for any posts (reblogs included) featuring romantic pairings; I will also try to include specific pairings as “#(blank) x (blank)” and/or any ship names

#veins rambles - for random thoughts/text posts

#veins answers - for any of my responses to Asks sent in (chrono link)

#veins in dream land - for any rambles/headcanons about the Kirby series specifically

#veins reblogs - for anything I reblog, obviously

#childhood friends au - for art from my Kirby AU where Dedede and Meta Knight first met as kids (masterpost | chrono link)

#kintsugi au - for art from my Kirby AU centered around the Mirror World, the Wave 2 gang, and the Darkroach ship - warning: may contain angst and suggestive content (masterpost | chrono link)

#kirbtober 2023 - for my Kirbtober 2023 art (chrono link)

#kirbtober 2024 - for my Kirbtober 2024 art (chrono link)

#mtddweek2024 - for my MetaDede Week 2024 art (chrono link)

I’ll update this with new tags if/when they pop up. Anything else will have generic tags to fit the context of the post. I also mark trigger warnings with tags like “#(blank) tw” if necessary.

What do you use to make your art?

For digital art, I use Clip Studio Paint and a Wacom Intuos Pro S drawing tablet. I don’t draw traditionally as much anymore, but, when I do, it’s usually just quick sketches with pencil and paper. For writing, I use TextEdit or whatever generic rich text editing software I can find. For crafting, I use yarn and plastic canvas.

What brushes do you use?

For sketching and linework, I use a slightly modified version of the Wick Pencil from the 8 Particle Pencil catalog made by saturns_day. For flats and rendering, I use the default CSP hard round brush, airbrush, and G-pen. For effects and extras (clouds, textures, sparkles, etc.), I use default effects brushes or whatever I can find from the CSP Asset Shop.

Can I share your work through reblogs? And are tags okay?

Of course! Reblogs are always encouraged. I’m also fine with tags as well (though I ask that you not mark anything as a ship unless I’ve marked it as such on the original post - look for the tag #veins ships if you’re ever unsure).

Can I repost/use your work for my own personal/commercial use?

Absolutely not. While I'm always in support of creators inspiring each other with our works and endeavors, that does not mean anyone should engage in art theft (intentional or otherwise). Under no circumstances may you repost, reupload, reproduce, copy, trace, modify, sell, use, tokenize, scrape/integrate into A*I, and/or otherwise claim as your own any of my art/written works. Never assume a piece of art shared online in yours for the taking - that is someone else’s hard work and passion, and you need to respect that.

Can I dub one of your comics?

As flattering as that would be, I worry about lack of credit or my work being stolen for others’ content, so I sadly have to say no.

Why is there a big watermark on your art?

People are just kinda garbage sometimes, so I make sure to sign and WM anything original I post. I know it’s not exactly fun to look at (maybe even distracting or bad for engagement), but I’d rather be safe than sorry, so we'll both have to just deal with it.

Do you have an askbox? Can we send in questions/comments/etc.?

Yes, the ask box is currently open, and I'm more than happy to receive any questions, comments, etc. you guys might have (even if it makes me a bit nervous, haha)! I just ask that you read the rules first before you submit anything.

Do you take requests/commissions/suggestions/collabs/etc.?

Sadly, I do not take art requests or suggestions unless I put out a specific call for them. I'm not really in a position to take commissions either. Collabs I'm on the fence about - maybe with mutuals or folks I know personally, though no guarantees (chronic social anxiety is a real bench sometimes).

Is this an inclusive space?

Of course! This queer little goblin accepts everyone under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, along with folks of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, disabilities, and colors. That said, there will be absolutely no tolerance for (inhale) racism, sexism, transphobia, queerphobia, xenophobia, misogyny/misandry, bigotry of any kind, ableism, p***philia, inc*st, selfc*st, z**philia, RPF, trolling behavior, self-promotion, the promotion of N*FTs or A*I art, or any otherwise harmful, toxic, or hurtful rhetoric. Anyone seen behaving as such will be blocked, reported, and forgotten. I do not feed trolls - I let them starve. :)

Is this an all-ages space?

No. While I probably won’t be posting/sharing anything too lewd or graphic, I’m not opposed to things like swearing, angst, the occasional gout of blood, fluff bordering on suggestive, and discussions of mature subject matter (all of which I will make sure to tag with content warnings as necessary). Obviously, I can’t police everyone who wanders into this blog (especially since some people omit or lie about their ages online), so the best I can do is ask for good faith on your part. If you are under 18, interact at your own risk. The last thing I want is to make anyone - myself included - uncomfortable because there are kids in an adult-allocated space. Again, I hope you understand.

What is your stance on shipping?

The vernacular around pro- or anti-shipping confuses the hell out of me, so I’ll just try to explain my personal philosophy on it: I have ships I like, ones I’m indifferent to, and ones I won’t touch with a ten-foot pole. I only reblog (and tag) ship-related content I’m in support of, even if it’s not one of my personal favorites. Most importantly, I don’t bother others about their personal preferences. Anything I don’t like or don’t support, I simply do not engage with. Or, if it makes me too uncomfortable, I block outright. The same should apply to your experience as well - if you ever see ship stuff here that you don’t like, feel free to block the tags (look for specific pairings, ship names, and/or my personal tag #veins ships) or even the blog entirely. You are not obligated to like the things I like or engage with media you don’t enjoy. Respect for each other and curation of your personal online space is always key. Additionally, I 100% will not ship minors, blood relations (including adopted family), self x self, anything relating to b*stiality, or anything relating to RPF.

Are you okay?

No, not even a little bit... but fuck it, we keep going.

Why do you put a comma before the “and” in a sequence of three or more words?

You can take my Oxford comma away from me when I’m cold, dead, and rotting in the dirt.

Is there anything else?

Nah, I think we’re good for now. Thanks for taking the time to read all this. Hope it wasn’t too rambly or weird - just trying to cover all my bases. I hope you all have a lovely timezone out there, wherever you are. Be sure to wash your hands, wear your mask, and stay hydrated. Remember to be strong, be safe, and, for the love of dog, be kind. Peace!

-Veins (originally posted 08/07/23, reposted 02/29/24, updated as of 02/18/25)

[thegoldenshi-shi]

Hello Shi-Shi! It definitely has been awhile since I messaged, and I apologize for that, but I’m still alive! I hope you’ve been well and things are going okay for you. Also, I’m unsure if you celebrate it, but Happy Thanksgiving!!

A lot has happened since I last spoke; school has started again, so I’ve been busy with that. In fact, I have a presentation tomorrow, two tests Wednesday, and then I’m off for Peer Mentor camp for three days! Definitely a short school week for me, which I’m quite happy about.

Another reason I haven’t spoken is I was sick for quite a bit, a mix between both a cold and flu at the same time. I’m just starting getting back into the swing of drawing and other things, but I’ve mostly gotten better other than a slight cough.

Fun, exciting news though, is I finally have my road test booked to get my full license! It’s in December so still a month and a bit to go, but it’s great that I finally have that booked, it will be nice to have my license if I pass. Another thing is I’ve started a new job! In a booth as a cook, so we’ll see how that goes.

Now enough about me! I just saw your animation and oh my goodness, I love the detail in it! The backgrounds are so beautiful and the walking looks really good; I also love the detail of when they disappear. I’m unsure of who the characters are, but they look really cool. How long did it take you to make it?

I also like the Angel au piece with Leona, the little smirk they have is like they are going to cause mischief and the wings are absolutely stunning! The snow is also a nice touch, it gives it sort of a mysterious vibe.

I remember seeing your To Be Gentle Optimus art in the server when you posted it! The tiny butterfly and how gentle it seems he’s being with it is definitely a nice way to show how compassionate and gentle Optimus is. Sunstreakers piece is also really stunning, but I might be biased as Sunstreaker is one of my favourite characters haha. The colours really compliment each other and make Sunstreaker glow (the lyrics are also so him, they fit him so well)

I could ramble on and on about all your art pieces, but I have to start on finishing my presentation for tomorrow as it’s still not done. I’ll message when I can and I hope that soon. Have a good day/night Shi-Shi!

-Meister

Hello and happy Thanksgiving to you as well Meister!

It's good to see you in my inbox again 💛

I'm sorry to hear about the double-whammy cold and flu combo, but I'm glad that you're feeling better. I've been struggling with seasonal allergies, but otherwise I've been very lucky thus far (fingers crossed that my luck will hold). You've got a lot on your plate again from the sounds of things. I would be rolling over and screeching if I had that much on my agenda, but it also sounds like you have a lot of fun ahead of you(particularly with a short school week hehe).

Congratulations on your road test and new job~ I know you've been looking forward to your license and I am very happy for you that it's happening. I've never worked as a cook before, so I can't offer any insights there, but I'm rooting for you back here!

Now, as far as the animation goes, it took be about a week to do it all, with very long days hehe. I've always respected animators, but now my respect went to an all-time high. The backgrounds were fun to do, I referenced a lot of different name-cards from each region of the game to get them right so it was like an art study. I'm glad you liked the other pieces that I've done as well. The Optimus piece took the longest because it was for a zine project ofc, but the Leona picture took me a long time too. (I'm trying to get better at composition and entailed backgrounds) Sunstreaker is still one of my favorite characters as well, I really enjoyed doing that piece, even though it's relatively simple, because of the colors.

I won't lie, I'm having trouble with fanart at the moment due to persistent AI anxiety and some of the fandoms (not Transformers by any means) I move in have gotten too toxic and I've had to leave. Also life has been very hectic with work and other obligations, so I haven't had as much time to do personal things like drawing as much. BUT I'm doing okay and working on many things to tide me over through the anxiety!

Thank you so much for dropping by. It's been a while since I've talked to anybody so I appreciate it, AND hearing how you're doing. I'm glad you're doing well and I hope your presentation went well (since I was a little late responding). It's always a pleasure, have a wonderful day/night Meister.