#also sorry about the quality it wasn't ideal but it was the best i could get

[passionproject1]

We were 12. The coolest boy in my school just couldn’t stop talking about the newest coolest game he was playing online. He sat in the back of the lime coloured room, surrounded by the remaining class B boys, the beta boys, his gang, his little followers, who were carefully listening to his monologue. Every few minutes he would interrupt his speech to violently whip his head to the right in order to arrange his fringe into a perfect emo/justin bieber formation. “Minecraft,” was the name of the game, I wrote it in the back of my notebook and carried it home. That night I sat on my favorite deep emerald chair researching the game further, preparing to beg my dad to buy it. I had already downloaded the free version but I wanted to make an avatar and you could only access that feature if you paid. This purchase was essential to flex on my boy classmates. Finally dad said yes and let me use his card. I immediately canceled guitar hero night with the girls, ready to explore the pixelated expanse of Minecraft.

My new name was Yumomo, a random japanese sounding name I thought of. My outfit was green and pink with a frog hat, a skin I stole from some minecraft website because I thought it was cute. I jumped into my solo world but quickly found it too isolating, so I checked the list of best polish Minecraft servers. The one I chose was RPG themed and as I later found out was made up entirely of male players. In 2011, Minecraft hadn’t broken into the gamer girl realm yet, hardly into the youtube gamer realm either. Back then it was only played by indie game nerds and basement dwellers, not 12 year old polish girls. So for the moment I was the queen of my server and officially (PAUSE) “not like other girls.” I remember that first day when they all saw my skin, girly and pink, and wrote “are you actually a girl” into the chat. To prove it I had to join a group call on team speak 3, some proto discord gamer tool. Before I logged on, I practiced what I would say using a voice recorder on my dads phone. I tested different variations of the name introduction, different “Hello’s,” “i am’s”, and “my name is,” to come up with the cute maxxed ideal version of the internet girl they were about to meet. I nervously turned on the app, shouted at my younger sister to shut up and just as I was about to say the magic girl code into the hormonal ears of boy teens I heard one of boys say “hey, maybe next time mute your speaker before you shout at your sister.” My heart dropped, I shut the laptop and sat in silence. (pause for impact) My eyes started to water. I wasn't a cool girl in real life and now I couldn't even be a cool girl online. It was doomed from the start, over before it even started. The brutal reality of the boy world came crashing down on me all because I didn't know how to use speak3. Little did I know this lack of speak3 proficiency made me meet my first boyfriend.

His real name was Antoni, I don’t remember his minecraft name. After my pulse had cooled down and I turned my laptop back on, a private chat request from him appeared on the side of the teamspeak3 app. He typed “siemasz” which is a word for hi in polish that literally no one uses in Poland. He also wrote something along the lines of “Don’t worry, sorry for them laughing, I was stressed before I talked online for the first time too” and that comforted me. He wasn’t like one of the bad, annoying smelly boys, the “girls are too dumb to understand the computer” and “girls are too emotional we shouldn’t play with them” preacher preteens, he wasn’t the intimidatingly-different-than-the -girls type of boy that I was in contact with at school. He acted like you want them (boys) to act, he had the qualities of an anime protagonist, he saved me from further teamspeak ridicule and he spared me from feeling like an idiot on my own. He invited me to play on his and his brothers private server first just to ease me gently into the whole situation. I accepted and spent the entire night playing just with him. And when he called, on Skype instead of teamspeak3, I answered with my camera turned off but my mic on, and we chatted. We ended up chatting like that, with both of our cameras off, playing on minecraft servers with countless other people - and sometimes just on our own - for almost a year. He slipped into my routine and broke my boy interaction shyness. Every day I was looking forward to our evenings of playing minecraft, and every time I was too busy to talk to him i would feel sad.

The Day before Christmas I was at the airport about to fly to England when my Yellow samsung corby received a message from him. It was a confession of his love to me, long and sincere, “I don’t care that I have never seen your face, I like speaking to you, I like spending my time with you and I would like to meet you.” He also mentioned that we should exchange pictures. I had butterflies in my stomach reading the sentences. For hours on the plane I kept rereading the text and trying to imagine what he looks like. I tried to vibe-match looks in my mind to his smooth, low but still youthful and boyish voice. I pictured him towering over me, with a swooping side fringe and a cool Cropp hoodie. I thought about us kissing for the first time, my girlfriends being jealous, my dog excited at the sight of him during one of his monthly visits. As soon as I got to my mums house I went on to try to vibe-match my looks to my sweet voice I was using to seduce him for the past year. Did I really suit my own vibe? There was a lot to perfect in my looks and I didn’t feel confident that I could fully embody the girl he must have been imagining. I pulled up the video of my idol venus angelic and with the limited makeup my mum owned I tried to recreate her vibe. Big anime eyes, intense blush, gradient lips. I put on my blue denim hair bow and took a selfie on photo booth. I covered one side of my face with my hand. I felt myself. The following evening whilst we were chatting with our cameras off and our mics on we sent each other the pictures. Surprisingly he looked similar to what i had imagined for him: golden retriver as a boy, slightly wavy gold hair with a little side fringe, awkward cute smile,acne, skinny and tall-presenting. According to him I looked how he imagined too, cute and girly. The next stop of video talking hadn’t been suggested by either of us. We were just happy to continue chatting with a vague image of ourselves in our heads, because it didn’t really matter what we looked like. Our relationship was online so it was functioning according to online gaming friends rules. As long as the arrangement remained online, we didn’t need anything more.

At least I didn’t for now.

One spring day Antoni asked me if I was planning to go to Pyrcon, a massive anime convention that is organised in his city, only 2 hours away from where i lived. I said I would probably be there. The truth was I knew I would definitely be there, in fact me and my friend had been planning our outfits for months. For some reason giving a definite answer, knowing the question that would follow felt too overwhelming. He asked, all excited, if I wanted to meet up in real life and I said yes with equal excitement. In reality, something told me that I didn’t want to meet him. Not because I was worried that he wasn’t real, that he was a catfish, but because I was worried that I’d be too real for him, with my chubby face, little stumpy legs, feet dressed in two different shoes. I was scared of holding his real hand and kissing his mouth, the inevitable teenage intimacy that seems so sweet in theory but ends up awkward in practice. I was happy for us to continue our love in the virtual world we created.

I couldn’t sleep the night prior to the convention. This day was about to change the trajectory of my life and the future felt more dreadful than exciting, though my friends kept trying to ease my stresses. I didn’t want to ruin the excitement for him, so the whole journey to the con I played along, at times experiencing waves of real excitement, followed by the gut wrenching anticipation of failure and disappointment. I was dressed in my frog outfit and did my makeup as well as i could. My emergency nicholas cage mas, a sign that I was a fan of the webcomic Homestuck, was poking out of my NANA tote bag. For some reason, just having the mask in my bag was an anti-anxiety shield. At previous conventions, I would wear it when the pressure of being surrounded by so many people felt like too much and I was too young to numb the angst with drugs and alcohol.

We arrived at the convention. The nasty stress feeling had been growing increasingly throughout the day, from the moment I got out of bed to the second I set foot in the con. It was by my side wherever I went, causing my eyes to scan every corner in the search for him and his brother. I had to be prepared at all times to pull out the mask, in case he came too close and recognised me. I was undercover in his kingdom. A surprise meeting was not likely, considering the 5000 people in attendance, but regardless I couldn’t allow it to be an option. Our real meeting was meant to take place at some anime panel, later in the day. Minutes before the meeting, I left my friends, who were convinced that the guy was really some old pedophile, but I let them follow me from afar just in case for their piece of mind. I put on my protective mask, and headed to the room. Inside I looked around. He wasn’t there. I double checked the location, the time, different corners of the room, but the corner where he was supposed to stand was occupied only by gross nerd guys. The smelly long hair ones. My panic was mixed with some sense of relief. This is it, he’s one of them, and if he is one of them I can just pretend that I left because I wasn’t feeling well and just go back to us, playing online. Maybe at some point I’d be mature enough to accept his physical self, and take the next step, come to terms with his ugly materiality, maybe by the time we met, by the time I was ready to squash my anxiety he would have had a glow up. Maybe not crossing that boundary now was a win-win.

Just before the start, in the colorful crowd of cosplayers, e-girls, cat ears, katanas, big titty anime girl pillows stuffing itself into the room, I saw him. His fleshy youthful face was looking better than the picture, put together into a concerned focused look aimed to find me. I watched him from a distance, looking for me, dialing my number and impatiently waiting to hear back, as I was holding onto my vibrating phone inside my pocket. I saw him sitting down, disappointed and confused, saw him checking his phone every few minutes, then his older brother coming in, comforting him, possibly telling him either that girls suck or that maybe something happened to me, depending on his prior experience with women. All that time I stood in the back, wanting to text him “don’t worry *hugs*” and “i love you *kisses*” but my body wouldn’t move, I was paralysed. My mind kept telling me “what’s the worst that could happen” before filling my head with all of the worst scenarios. I imagined:

-The smell of awkwardness in the air

-inability to make a conversation

-him not finding me attractive in real life and abandoning me, the virtual me, the me he loved or

-him liking me, wanting to make real moves, have real meetings instead of the safe, controlled, virtual, the ones i was comfortable with

It all felt like too much. And despite being a few meters away, and seeing his despair, I looked at him one last time and went back to my friends. It took me a while to come up with an excuse and text him back, but there was no excuse for what I did. The truth was sad and hard to understand. If none of my friends understood why I did this then why would he? So I lied, said that I wasn’t feeling well and that I had to leave, which felt like the most believable excuse but perhaps not believable enough for him not to question it himself. Our relationship was broken, and we stopped calling, then we stopped texting. Minecraft got boring. When I first installed Skype, I accidentally allowed it to automatically open every time I turned on my computer. When me and antoni were in love, I never had a reason to change the setting, but now I would force quit it every time I turned my old macbook on. I abandoned the block lands and moved my virtual self onto the more entertaining World of Warcraft.

Sometimes I wish I was able to say sorry.

[academiawho]

I wanted to ask one more thing. What was your routine back in 11th and what is your routine currently? I'm know I'm not gonna have the same routine as you but maybe i could get some help with it and take some motivation from that schedule? I also like need guidance with chemistry and physics, wht kind of techniques you use for scoring well in those subjects? I have been facing some issues with equilibrium chapter (I'm not able to solve those ionisation constant sums and sums related to finding K.equilibrium)

In physics, i have screwed up big time in motion in a plane. Like I understood the formulas and how they were derived but I can only solve sums that are directly asking to find max.height or time of flight or max.range etc etc. If the sums are twisted, I get confused and evrything becomes a mess. I told my physics professor about my poor score in motion in plane, he asked me to focus on the next chapters that will be asked in next test (laws of motion and work, power and energy).

Also, a big thanks for answering my previous asks! I got the guidance I needed! you're amazing thank you so much <3

Hi! Since it's a lot to unpack, I'll go in points (feel free to remind me if I missed anything):

What was your routine back in 11th -> -> -> I was in 11th grade during Covid, so my routine was basically getting up, trying not to die, helping my family members to not die, attend online classes, complete homework, blink through online tests and sleep. I'm sorry I don't have a better answer to the first part of the question, I wasn't the most ideal person one could base one's routine off.

and what is your routine currently? -> -> -> I wake up, study any topic for an hour or half and hour if I'm in a hurry for coaching, and I head over. I reach there early and study in prep for the day. After reaching home from coaching, I either write a test or prepare for a test. I sleep. A positive indoctrination by my father since my childhood is that sleep is imperative for optimal functioning. And I'm given free rein to shift things around in my day so that I can study when I'm feeling my best self.

I also like need guidance with chemistry and physics, what kind of techniques you use for scoring well in those subjects? -> -> -> lots of practice and lots of mistakes that I've learnt from. I have tried to orient my mental activity to look at a question and see the competitive perspective of it. In chemistry, it usually helps in organic to know what the examiner wants you to apply, which concept or reaction etc. A good teacher also helps, whether it be for shortcuts or for understanding the concepts to the point that you don't need shortcuts. A lot of practice is my suggestion.

I have been facing some issues with equilibrium chapter (I'm not able to solve those ionization constant sums and sums related to finding K equilibrium) -> -> -> I think everybody and their grandmother have an issue with equilibrium. I find equilibrium to be a concept-based chapter unlike a lot who think of it as a formulae-dependent chapter. For equilibrium, one needs solid lectures (quality, not quantity, remember). And charts and repeated practice.

If the sums are twisted, I get confused and everything becomes a mess. -> -> -> some gentleness with solving might help. Take a plain sheet of paper (ruled or not doesn't matter) and write down what the question has given us, and what it is asking. Then write down what exactly we need to get the answer. For example, the equation of trajectory is given to you in the question, and they have asked you to find the range. Given: equation. To find: range. We need: u and theta. What we have: y = 0 because when range is achieved, the y coordinate is zero. From there you solve it step by step.

Also, take a deep breath, these are beginner's jitters. I'm sure with practice they'll clear up.

ps: a link that helped me with memorising the equations for range, height and time of projectile ->

💛

[imjustabeanie]

hello!! 🥹 if that's okay, may i get an obey me matchup??? <3

about me: my name is carolina but i mostly go by caro! my pronouns are she/her, i'm afab and demipansexual. i was in one long-term relationship before but it wasn't the best as my previous partner used to treat me really badly, and i defended her for being emotionally abusive like my life depended on it. i'm an ESFP and my ennegram is 8w3!! i'm italian and currently live in italy. i am studying to become a voice actor!

personality: i'm extremely talkative and random, i got told that by how out of context i am i could be a stand-up comedian. i always see the best in people and most of the times end up only seeing that and not the negatives, which lead me to bullying grewing up, but i just don't have it in my blood to be mean towards people. i'm a huge extrovert!

looks: i'm 150cm tall, have a round face, light skin and grey eyes. i have a wolfcut with face framing bangs and dye my hair scarlet red with the lowest layer and a part of my bangs on black! i am extremely into fashion, and am often wearing either "visual-kei" or "jirai-kei" my eyesight is also quite bad, so i wear glasses! specifically iron/silver ones. i also always wear red liptint.

fun facts: i'm a huge nerd (i quote what i remember from reading homestuck in 2020 on a daily basis for the funsies of it.) i speak english, italian and french. i love styling my friends a lot!

likes: fashion, otome games, digital art, just yapping about anything honestly, compliments and complimenting people, SHOPPING, cuddles platonic or not!!

dislike: fake people, wholeheartedly.

love language: my biggest is gifts giving, but i also am a sucker for physical touch and words of affirmation. (in giving!) on recieving anything is fine as long as the person loves me.

ideal type: someone better than my ex (it's really easy.) (SORRY FOR ALL THIS EX SLANDER I AM GETTING OVER IT STILL.) just not being mean to me is enough (jokingly is okay!)

Howdy! I hope you'll like it!

Your obey me match is...Asmo!

Not gonna lie, Levi is a very close match. He just...needs someone very patient with him in relationships given how jealous he can get. But Asmo is a very chill but loving partner.

Now I can understand if you consider Asmo as a little fake. He is but once you get into his inner circle he shows his true self. You just have to show that you accept all his sides, even the uggly ones. Also come on besides the twins, Simeon and perhaps Solomon all brothers have another side. It comes with the package.

Asmo likes your humor, he encourages your career and would glady promote it if you asked. Even if it's not his field he'd be happy to help his lover. Asmo shows his love by being appreciative of you and quality time. He's very touchy, loves complimenting you and takes you on nearly daily dates! He includes you in all aspects of his life. One of his favorite things is going shopping with you and doing self care routines/makeup together. He's for the cameras, if you have an issue with it warn him so he can arrange the situation. He'd never force you to anything, consent is the best beauty out there.

Asmo always stand up for you,his lovely nerdy lover. If anyone dared to bully you and he knew of it? (he'll know). You can be sure their social life is gone. It's messed up to bully, especially with someone as positive as you. Seeing the best in everyone is a lovely quality that he adores about you. He'll be mean for you don't worry. Especially to your ex.

Asmo definitely speaks italian and french. Vu ce qu'il représente et son âge c'est normal de parler plusieurs langues. Tout le monde dans OM sont dans le même panier. Asmo is also a sucker for your gifts and cuddles! He doesn't get jealous too so you can cuddle everyone peacefully. He always parades your gifts and makes sure to properly thanks you for em. It's good that you like physical touch and words of affirmation cuz that's exactly his love language.

[ofchrysoprase]

It wasn't Cindy's intention to occupy an entire table by herself - it just so happened that she had all of her books and notes scattered across the surface, which didn't make the spot look very inviting to the regular mall visitor. Doing some of her coursework during lunch break also wasn't ideal, but on days where the pharmacy was busier, it was the only time she really had to review her notes until she got home, where she insisted on helping her parents to prepare dinner. Of course, after dinner was when she caffeinated herself a little more in order to stay up studying until her eyes could no longer stay open.

She was in the middle of trying to sort her notes in an order that would make it easier for her to make sense of them, a half chewed pencil threatening to merge with the fries in front of her, when she took note of someone speaking to her and requesting a seat at her table. She looked up, recognizing the face and, in connection to it, their name. Ah, shit.

Nodding almost instantaneously, Cindy quickly started stacking up some of the books and papers in an attempt to create room for Geo to sit down and properly place their food on the table. "Yes, of course! Sorry about the mess, I have some exams coming up soon." She hastily explained as she tucked her hair behind her ear and then proceeded with the organizing of her things.

She had barely noticed how crowded the food court had gotten; too lost in her own priorities. But now that her attention had been drawn away for a moment, she could see why Geo had asked for a seat. Sometimes it surprised her just how popular the mall still was, even in the aftermath of the attacks. Maybe it spoke to the quality of the food, or perhaps the crowd just consisted of tired, hungry employees.

"How, um..." She hated to ask - despite having been away from Shrike for nearly a year, she wasn't a stranger to the tragedies that occurred while she was gone. She knew about the murders, knew about his sister, knew that her question was always going to sting, no matter how good her intentions were. She couldn't blame him, not when she had given up a spot at one of the best universities in the country to be closer to her own sibling.

"How have you been holding up?"

geo hated when the only time he could take his break from angel's was during typical lunch hours. he much preferred eating either before or after those hours, as he despised having to spend time in the hustle and bustle of the food court at its peak time. he especially disliked when there were no free tables available, but his luck seemed to fail him - though he wasn't sure he really had any luck to begin with - and geo found himself in that exact position today. he sighed deeply, exhausted eyes looking through the crowd for a familiar face. he couldn't find any of his friends, but when he spotted cindy, who he recognized from being a frequent visitor at perkin's, he decided she would likely be the best company he could get. he made his way over there with his lunch held securely in his hands. "hey, sorry," he began. "d'you mind if i sit with you? every other available seat is right next to a stranger, and," he sighed again. "i'm not really in the mood for it." @ofchrysoprase

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Costume appreciation for Edwige Feuillère as Nastasya Filippovna in L’idiot (1946)

Costumes by Marcel Escoffier

Requested by Anon! <3

[arctichotch]

The 'gold standard' screening tool for BPD takes an hour to administer. It is nonsense to say you cannot diagnose BPD in 12 hours.

Ok, well that's fair enough. And I do take that on board as I wasn't educated on that before (even though I still think that placing 2 big diagnoses on her after only meeting her once, still doesn't sit right with me. But I'm going to drop it). However, overall my opinion has not changed.

This is a long post. Sorry.

(Also it's been a bit since I have watched either Dr. Curry (her first testimony) or Dr. Hughes testimony, so once again could be wwrong in bits)

It doesn't change the fact that BPD is often a diagnosis thrown at women (75% of those diagnosed are women overall) who are claiming to be victims of domestic violence in an attempt to discredit them. Personality disorders are often weaponised by abusers to discredit their accusers. And BPD is often framed in a negative light by the general public, who are generally quite uneducated on BPD and those who have it, which has led to an overall general attack on AH at the time where the main points were that "oh she has BPD she must be abusive" (which was a very common trend during Dr. Curry's first testimony, esp on twitter.)

I will also admit that I am not entirely educated on histrionic personality disorder, as it wasn't even something I had heard about until Dr. Curry's testimony. So anything I have learned about it has been with this case in my mind and in a relatively short space of time, so I do apologise for any inaccuracies. From what I have gathered, HPD is derived from hysteria, a disorder attributed to women for not being the 'ideal' woman so to speak, characteristics in a woman that men did not like. So, automatically I discredit that in my own mind because it is 2022 and I would like to think we are past the point of accrediting a woman with a diagnosis of a personality disorder (HPD) because she has stepped out of the societal norms that are expected of her. here for some info I have considered on HPD

Also the fact that Curry had stated that Heard displayed signs of these personality disorders even prior to meeting her, just does not sit right with me. It speaks to a lack of objectivity to me and as someone who (possibly, idk i am not inside her brain) went in seeing what she wanted to see. She had signed the thing from Depp's lawyers to Heard's lawyers (idk the proper word, sorry) stating that she would testify to Heard's personality disorders, prior to diagnosis.

Now, it is also literally 3am so I don't know how much of this makes sense or if I am entirely right in any of this, so once again I apologise and am open to correction.

BPD and PTSD share many overlapping qualities. However, Heard has been diagnosed with BPD and Dr. Curry was very against the notion that she has PTSD. I understand that she considers Heard to have over-exaggerated about her symptoms of PTSD and once again I am not going to touch on that too much simply because I feel like at the moment I don't know enough about it. However, I thought Dr. Curry's characterisation of PTSD was just.. not right. I am no stranger to PTSD and felt sick when she was saying things along the lines of how a person with PTSD would not be able to function in day to day life. While I agree that an individual's functioning is obviously affected by having PTSD, it does not mean they can't function. Plenty of people manage and live with their PTSD every single day, especially if they are aware of it and know how to 'manage' it. It's not easy, but it's doable, especially for someone such as Amber who has a public image to keep up, placing extra pressure on her to continue to function to the very best of her ability.

Also, who is backing up Dr. Curry's claims of Heard having these two personality disorders and definitely not having PTSD? Because so far I have heard no one else claim she has these diagnoses and no offence but I am not willing to sit comfortable on Dr. Curry's word.

Now, the whole Dr. Hughes was unprofessional angle annoys me so fucking much (I know this anon did not bring it up, but it's on my mind so I'm going to touch on it a bit.) Dr. Hughes specialises in IPV, Sexual Assault and PTSD. She is well versed in testifying in cases such as these (She testified in R. Kelly's trial and the Keith Reniere trial).

The whole angle people have taken saying she gendered terms in her testimony in relation to IPV. She did this because it is what the statistics back up. Of course men can be abused by women. Of course they can. Anyone objecting that is wrong. It is something that happens. However, statistically, it is women being abused by men (1/4 to be exact, while it is 1/9 for men in the US).

It is natural, when speaking, to speak about what is most likely, especially if it is what Dr. Hughes considered was happening in this case. She's not going to spend every second of her testimony saying "this man abused this woman but also this doesn't discredit that men can also be abused by women but this is not what happened in this case." First of all, that would have made things confusing as all hell. Secondly, she was there testifying for Amber, a woman who is in court because the man she claims abused her is suing her. She was not there for Depp, the man claiming to be abused by Amber. That was not her task.

Dr. Hughes gave in depth testimony to the intricacies of IPV. I mean yeah, she was there testifying for Amber, she was getting paid by Amber's team. But then surely the same can be said to Dr. Curry? Dr. Hughes is not an idiot. She's clearly high in her field. Has worked for 25/30 years. She did not know Heard, she was not a patient of hers, she was going into this with an objective point of view with no prior conceptions. Dr. Curry, in comparison, has testified stating she is not qualified to testify in IPV cases.

She interviewed Heard, gave her a psychological test, reviewed medical and psychological evidence, met Heard in Sept 2019 and overall spent approx. 29 hours with her - 21 hours in person and some on zoom. This to me, straight away, jumps out at me compared to the 12 hours Dr. Curry and 2 (?) tests she gave Heard (i believe it was 2, if not do correct me.) Dr. Hughes also considered Heard's violent childhood, which also jumped out at me, because that is important and should always be considered.

Dr. Hughes speaking to incidents in their relationship is also something I've seen be picked at. She gave evidence. Tied her testimony to her opinion on Heard's diagnosis and the intricacies of IPV in their specific case. She tied these things into her knowledge of IPV, she wasn't banging out things that happened.

Also, I don't care what anyone says, having dinner and drinks with a potential client and his lawyers is not right. That immediately calls into question Dr. Curry's objectivity in this case. She did not previously state that she had met with Depp, Waldman and his other lawyers in this manner - which looks dodgy, imo.

The fact that people (Depp's defenders usually) will sit back and willingly, unconditionally believe the psychologist hired by the man this woman is accusing of abusing her and sexually assaulting her diagnoses while discrediting any and all diagnoses (or lackthereof in terms of personality disorders) is incredibly telling.

The fact is that Dr. Curry was hired by Team Depp to give her expert opinion of Amber Heard. This expert opinion of 2 (one incredibly misogynistic and the other one iffy) personality disorders was given after having met Heard once. Dr. Curry neglected to share that she had dinner and drinks with Depp personally there, and his team, until it was brought up in her cross. No other psychologist dealing with Amber mentioned personality disorder diagnoses.

So the real question, that has yet to be answered, is why should Dr. Curry be believed in her diagnoses of personality disorders over Dr. Hughes and multiple other psychologists who never mentioned anything about such disorders in relation to Heard.

This whole thing with diagnoses and psychologists plus the other physical evidence, the lies Depp has been proven to have told and Depp + Heard's testimonies tell me what I need to know. Johnny Depp abused Amber Heard. His only evidence of her abusing him was reactive abuse on her behalf.

Also, have purposely not mentioned the Spiegel guy because quite frankly I don't remember much of his testimony. And what I do remember (the substance abuse disorder stuff) I do not think he should have diagnosed Depp without ever meeting him (if he did this, which I do not actually recall so can't speak to it.)

Also pt.2, in all of this it is Heard's mental state being examined and questioned. Not once did Johnny Depp sit down with a psychologist. Not even with Dr. Curry. This is something that will be considered by the jury as to why they're hearing all about Heard's personality disorders or PTSD or whatever and nothing concrete on the mental state of Depp now or during their relationship.

(Also, Dr. Curry is not board-certified. I know, I know, this means very little in the context of how like only 4% (?) of psychologists are board-certified. However, it is to be noted. If Team Depp wanted to have the tip top kind of witness to completely discredit Heard and have it be believed by all, would they not have considered this? It's quite significant, and I have to believe it is something that will be considered when the jury reviews her (Dr. Curry's) testimony.)

At the end of the day, this is a defamation case. All they're meant to do is prove that Heard defamed Depp in her op-ed leading him to losing out on work and money. To have this proved, the jury needs to unanimously agree that at no point was Heard a victim of domestic violence. This isn't even about proving who is the abuser. But Depp has brought this on himself, allowing this all to be blown out into the open, when it didn't need to happen. It is litigation abuse, another way for him to continue to drag Amber through the trauma of their relationship. She is not the one who brought this back to court.

There's probably more I'd have to say, and honestly clearer arguments I could put forward, but it's now 4am and I am not thinking straight. If any information is incorrect, do let me know. But my overall point stands anyway.

[littledemo0n]

This became very long sorry @_@

Okay so for the pic you posted

I too am a Soundwave simp no matter which iteration he appears in (TFP Sounders is always my number one doe) He and Shockwave were even the first characters I posted about on my blog (unfortunately those days have been postponed because I have found many more loves :") )

Megatron and Optimus are also characters I love but for their dynamic in recent media and their history and similar but opposing ideals of their world

Diavolo was one of the main reasons I regret my love for Obey me (Mammon is who actually brought me back cause over time I always remembered his face) Now however Barbatos has risen to my number 1 in OM cus apparently I like dilfs with coloured hair + mysterious past + special set of skills (but I live them all equally and dearly)

Okay onto the one about a console

Here is thy pretty man

Thy name is Dan Heng

He fits the 3 qualities I mentioned with Barbatos

Idk how he's like but if he's a mix of Barbatos and Lucifer I am so here for it

Another pretty man

Thy name is Welt

Idk what he's like but I'm interested enough to know more

I predict that he may be a workaholic with that frown

Another pretty (or two lol)

Here's the MC of the game

I didn't know they were MC until after the interest grew lol

Can't wait to play cus there be juicy secrets around them 👀

And then we move onto Genshin impact

First the sole reason I even started playing the game

Cus of this guy

I saw him a year ago and heck I realized he was pretty but it wasn't enough to actually make me consider the game

Then I learnt he's an ex god turned sugar baby through the most ridiculous way possible and then I was heavily invested

100/10 do not regret getting the game cus it's pretty people after pretty people and I can't wait to struggle drawing them lol

The ginger in the second pic is his wallet

Next my major 4 simps

Aka the dream husbando team of Genshin

I have the red and blue guys I can't wait to get the other two if the game owners and computu system decide to be generous of my time and effort :')

And finally a very poor pick of the 9 tall males in this game I wish I had altogether 😭

Sorry it's so poor in quality this was the best I could find of all the tall dudes I've simpes for together but Facebook doesn't like me for some reason-

If you happen to find good pics of them in future then enjoy the pretty Bois 💃🏾

OH GREAT HEAVENS

Thats alot of fellas 😳😳😳

All these boys are really speaking to me in many ways but i would have to sacrifice obey me to play genshin (which surprisingly has been recommended to me alot)

Thanks for sharing to me these fine specimens however i will study them with great detail later 😌😌

[quokki]

hii! i make a lot of edits and they do turn out okay?! but the thing is its quality.. it really decreases and I always am fascinated by yoour edits which are AMAYZING AND THE QUALITY IS GOOD TOO!! so could you give some tips to increase quality or apps that doesnt decrease the quality of org vid when making edits?

oh thank you :D

i think you're talking about the gifs right?

here's my tips lol (it's just how i do things honestly)

1. get the highest quality file available

when using an mv, download the highest quality version (i use 4k downloader, you can get it for free). if using a stage, try to get a raw .TS file (they can be hard to find 💔) or if the youtube video is 4k and you can tell it's really good quality then you can use that

2. use a pre processing software like vaporsynth or avisyth

this type of software will clip the parts of the video that you want to gif, and it has some sharpening features that are also very helpful. i can link some giffing tutorials i've used that taught me a lot!

I use vaporsynth (tutorial)

3. make your gifs on photoshop

photoshop has additional sharpening filters that can be useful, along with many other editing features.

4. exporting on photoshop:

file > export > save for web (legacy)

I marked down all the important things:

➤ first on the upper right where it says adaptive: there are 3 options you can use, perceptual, selective or adaptive. they all work well for gifs but some will end up in a higher size file than other. i've been into adaptive later. you can just switch it up and see what you like best.

➤ then where it says pattern: there are 2 options you can use, pattern or diffusion. it's a matter of preference here, i like to go with pattern. both work fine. diffusion might make the file heavier.

➤ for the next part it says diffusion transparency dither, here you should use either that or pattern transparency dither.

➤ next is about the dimensions, for this part you should actually define it when you first start the giffing, in the clipping phase, using vaporsynth. just make sure you're using dimensions that are compatible with tumblr's format, for width either 540px (1 gif per row), 268 px (2 gifs per row) or 177 px (3 gifs per row). As for height normally you'd start with at least 350 px but that can vary a lot. Like in this extreme case from my screenshot where my height was 640px. Keeping in mind that the bigger the dimensions, the bigger your gif size will be and the lower number of frames you'll be able to have.

➤ which is the next point, size. as we know, tumblr has an image size upload limit of 10mb (honestly if my images are over 9.5 it already doesn't let me upload). ideally you want to keep your gif small as tumblr might tone down the quality a little bit with the upload.

For the rest of the options on the export screen I believe you typically don't need to mess with, so just make sure they look the same as mine :D

All of the above are standard procedure for me and imo usually indispensable for a decent looking gif.

5. editing

i don't know if by quality you also meant some aspects of my gifs that imo are due to my editing (such as how they're usually clear and bright). if you wanna know more about that, let me know in another ask! but generally i'd advise you to do a test drive with your gifs when it comes to filters. for example add a filter and try to export to see what the final result will actually look like, in comparison to a version of the gif that wouldn't have it. I say this because, for example adding noise to your gif could potentially make it look like it's in lower quality compared to not using it.

I'm sorry if you already knew everything I mentioned and it wasn't helpful😖

But feel free to send more asks if you wanna get down to more specifics or if you wanna know more about my own process :D

[just-dreaming-about]

Here I am with the third part of my Spider-Man fanfic. Thank you so much to those who have liked the others and I hope you also like this. Enjoy!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS #3

When Thalia noticed it she was doing it again. She had just left the hospital, another afternoon with her father, and now she was wandering around the city turning all the doubts in her head. She was getting used to the noise of the city, she was beginning to seem it ideal to think but the doubts were not clearing in her head. She carried a great weight on her back and she had no one to share with, her only world was her father and she didn't want to worry him anymore. It was so frustrating.

It had been a few days since her encounter with Spider-Man and her talk with her father, she hadn't clarified anything but she also didn't know why she had started walking around the city until late. Was looking for the solution to her problems or was looking for someone? That was another question that she couldn't answer and when her thoughts seemed to turn against her, it was time to go home. But this time was different because she couldn't remember the way home, she didn't recognize the buildings or the stores.

She began to feel overwhelmed, a anxiety attack was growing in her chest and she tried to contain it. She crossed the street and turned right but still didn't recognize where she was. Was she really lost? She? She knew the streets of New York as if it were the palm of her hand! It was embarrassing to recognize it out loud and yet another pressure her heart must endure. Turn to the left. Another unrecognizable street. Then another thought crossed her mind; didn't she recognize the street because she was lost or because she was having a anxiety attack?

So the next step was obvious. She took refuge in a lonely alley, leaned her back against the wall and tried to breathe slowly but was unable. Every pounding in her heart ached in her chest and tears began to collect in her eyes.

Suddenly someone was in front of her, it was speaking to her but she couldn't hear it clearly and that person's hands were cold on her shoulders. And one of those hands went down her right arm urgently until caught her hand and brought it to a marked chest. He was a boy, for sure, and a strong one. A new wave of panic invaded her at the thought of what could happen to her if she didn't defend herself and tried to attack him but to no avail, she wasn't at her best and whoever had found her like this was strong enough to contain her. Her right hand was still clinging to that boy's chest by his hand, but now his other hand was holding her by the nape of the neck trying not to hurt her, which puzzled her more. And then she was able to focus her vision and see him clearly. Chocolate eyes, brown curls and a worried gesture. His thin, pink lips were moving fast -he was talking to her- but she couldn't figure out what they were saying. Then the boy's chest started to puff up and deflate slowly, it was almost mesmerizing and she started to imitate him. Little by little the sound returned to her.

-That's right, you do it very well -he said slowly- Inspire with me, come on -his chest puffed up and she followed him- And now we let it go -his chest deflate slowly on a par with her- Good. Once again?

Slowly everything came to her, each pounding stopped hurting, her head cleared, and her breathing was no longer so strained.

-Cute boy? -she asked looking at him.

-Actually is Peter Parker -he said laughing although the blush that appeared soon on his cheeks gave him away.

He removed the hand that had rested on the nape of her neck as if the touch suddenly burned but he was unable to move away because her hand still rested on his chest.

-What are you doing here?

-Help you with an anxiety attack?

He was so confused and she was so weakened at the time, she was clear but her head hurt. She shook her head, that wasn't what she was referring to but couldn't explain herself.

-Where I am?

-Queens. Do you want me to call someone?

-I want a hug.

And that was the most sincere thing Thalia had said in several months. Sincere and painful. Cute boy granted her what she wanted, hugged her a little awkward at first. He did his best to comfort her, one firm hand on her waist as the other circled her back, whispering words of encouragement even though he didn't know what he was comforting her for.

-We will talk about why I found you here? -he whispered not wanting to break the moment.

-You first -she whispered too.

-My aunt work at this help center. I was taking out the trash and I saw you here.

-And you still remember me? It's been almost a week since we collide.

-Well not many girls have put me against the bookshelf... It sounded fatal. I'm sorry, I didn't want to...

-It's okay -she interrupted him, she remembered that watching him rambling was fun but she wasn't for that now. Now she needed stability and he was providing it- Why do you help me?

-Because you seemed to be suffering.

Those words sounded so sincere that it hurt. It hurt as if a truck had passed her. Lately everything hurt, physically and emotionally, her world was shaking and she had nowhere to hold on.

-I know it may sound a little strange but I think it would be better to go inside-he was still whispering like he was afraid she might get another attack.

She said nothing but he carried her inside. His firm hand was still on her waist and she had an arm around his shoulders. She still needed stability and he kept providing it. The door through which they entered led them to the kitchen where five people were fighting each other to make quality food in the shortest time possible while many other people came and went carrying dishes. No one paid attention to them as they headed towards the stairs but halfway there a voice stopped them.

-Peter, how good I find you. Who's your friend?

Peter whispered an apology before turning to the woman who was looking at them with a kind smile and a playful look, her hands resting on her hips as if she had just caught two kids being mean.

-Aunt May, this is Thalia.

-Nice to meet you Thalia -smiled May- Where was my responsible and trustworthy nephew taking you?

-Even I have noticed the double meaning, Aunt May -Peter said frustrated- Is not what you think.

-So what is it, Pete?

Aunt May was folding her arms but smiling amused at the expense of Peter who was rambling again.

-Actually -it was the first time Thalia had spoken and she won May's kind and Peter's worried gaze- I'm not at my best and her nephew has offered to help me.

Thalia's frankness was received with a few seconds of silence until May gave them permission for them to go up to her office and they did. The office Peter took her to was small, with just enough space for a table, an armchair, a bookshelf full of messy folders, and a narrow sofa for visitors. Papers were scattered everywhere, even on the sofa. Peter ran to pick them up apologizing for the mess and motioned for her to sit on the small sofa.

-Do you want me to bring you something to drink or eat?

Thalia didn't answer, sat down and looked at her hands. Peter looked at her worriedly and sat next to her.

-Do you want to talk about what has happened?

But she didn't want to talk, that wasn't her thing, she didn't open herself up to people and less to people she had just met. Peter seemed genuinely concerned about her and was offering her the stability that she needed but couldn't hold on to him because if anyone saw all the shit on her...So what was she doing there? Why had she been dragged into that office and sat there? The answer came to her in a blink and she looked at him seriously.

-If I asked you for something, would you give it to me?

-If it is something within my reach... Yes, of course.

-I need a friend. Someone who doesn't ask. Would you do that for me?

Peter swallowed and nodded but nothing in the world could prepare him for what she did next. She snuggled into his chest and hid from all the bad that was chasing her, hugged him with perhaps too much strength but he didn't refuse, accepted the strength of her grip and hugged her with the same strength. Peter didn't understand the reason for that much-needed hug, it was as if Thalia was clinging to the only thing that could get her afloat and it was a strange feeling to feel so much needed by someone he hardly knew. But that was a lie because he knew perfectly well who she was, she was a spy, a thief, the agent of one of his greatest enemies and still felt that he had the responsibility to help her because she was slowly giving him all the pieces of the puzzle although she didn't know that all the pieces were given to the same person. As Spider-Man obtained the information that she didn't want to give to Peter Parker and as Peter Parker could comfort her as she didn't allow herself to be consoled by Spider-Man. It was a mess but it worked.

When Thalia opened her eyes again it was dark in the office, she was lying on the sofa and a blanket covered her. She was alone. There was a note in front of her signed by Peter promising her that he would be back soon, that if she was hungry she could snack from the kitchen. But she wasn't going to wait for him. She grabbed a jacket labeled Peter Parker and left the office. The whole building seemed to be dark but it didn't bother her, she used to work better with the lights off, she undid the path that she had done with Parker hours before and left the building through the back door. Once outside, she picked up her phone and saw that she had several missed calls and a lot of messages from the same number, but she ignored it and went to a fire escape that took her to the roof of the building. From above everything seemed smaller, including her confused thoughts. She took refuge in his jacket and allowed herself to breathe in Parker's scent again. Cute boy. She smiled.

-Should I be concerned that we always end up on a rooftop?

She turned her head lazily to verify that it was Spider-Man who was accompanying her and then continued to look at the city.

-Are you going to arrest me?

-Have you done anything illegal lately? -he stood next to her, observing the city too.

-I've convinced an innocent boy to spend the night with me -she commented as if it was nothing but it really meant something to her. Everything was easier if she pretended.

Spider-Man turned his head in surprise, then coughed and replied;

-And why are you telling me that?

-He has made me think. Well, not him but thanks to him I have been able to...-took a deep breath and released it- think clearly.

-He seems a nice person -he turned his head to look at her and then looked back quickly- Has he left you the jacket?

-Actually... I stole it from him -she smiled absently, wrapping herself in the jacket- Old habits aren't easily forgotten.

-I hope you return it.

-I hope so too -she closed her eyes, breathed in the scent of Peter Parker again and when she opened them again her gaze hardened- Spider-Man, I'm about to entrust you with important information but if I asked you for something, would you give it to me?

Spiderman's aura suddenly hardened too, preparing himself.

-Only if it's something within my reach.

Thalia must have listened to her instinct at that moment, the feeling of deja vu that suddenly enveloped her but it was at a very important moment and as that conversation ended her life would change for better or for worse.

Thalia's demands for their negotiation were reduced to one; protection for her father. She didn't care what might happen to herself. Spider-Man accepted without hesitation, promised that he would contact S.H.I.E.L.D. and that they would take care of everything. In exchange Thalia gave him names, addresses, told him of the plans they had entrusted to her and of which she had learned spying. She told him how she had ended in that situation, how everything seemed simple and innocent at first -an easy job- and how it progressively complicated until she found the shit up to her neck without escape. She told him everything and Spider-Man listened without interruption.

When she finished speaking, she headed for the fire escape stairs under the watchful eye of Spider-Man.

-Are you going to spend the rest of the night with that innocent boy?

Thalia stopped before reaching the stairs.

-No. I won't go back to him.

-Why not? He helped you think clearly ... or so you said.

She turned to see him with a wistful smile on her face.

-I don't want my shit to splash on him. He would be scared.

-Maybe you'd be surprised at what innocent boys are capable of.

-Maybe another day I'll give to my innocent boy that chance. I'll see you out there, Spider-Man.

She went downstairs and drifted down the streets of Queens. This time she knew the way home.

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Spilling Tea On Phantom of the Opera 2004

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say from the start that it is not my intention to offendanyone, you're entitled to your opinions and I'm allowed to have mine...

Ok, so, I just watched this movie a few days ago on my laptop and it was pretty much my first time sitting through the movie. I watched a few clips of the movie on YouTube but... Then, I decided to watch the whole movie. And this was my reaction.

Don't get me wrong! There WERE parts I liked but... That was just half of the movie... But overall... Um... It was meh. Ahem. Down to business!

My opinion on Gerard Butler as the Phantom? Um, wow. And not in a good way. I feel like this was a case of a talented performer being grossly miscast as the Phantom. I think this Tumblr post best describes on what I thought of his singing.

"He's supposed to have the voice of an angel, but it sounds like he's been gargling vinegar" ~Quoted by @faded-florals

Don't get me wrong. His voice is quite good for an untrained singer but... The Phantom is one of the biggest musical theatre roles of all time! It's right up there with Jean Valjean. It's really not a role that could go a competent singer, someone who's never sang professionally before but could be good once they've been trained up a bit. The role demands a truly great singer... And he wasn't right for the part.

His voice felt too strainy, growly and rock-ish for the Phantom. I didn't like how Joel Schumacher bought into the whole "sexy Phantom" thing and cast a hunky heart-throb, who was nowhere near disfigured enough. It's meant to be a gothic thriller novel with a small romantic subplot, not a B-grade vampire romance movie!

As for Emmy Rossum as Miss Christine Daae... it's true, her voice is good. She should know though, should she wish to excel, she has MUCH still to learn (Heeeeehee. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Emmy's Christine had little-to-no character growth and personality but I don't think it reflects her as an actress, but reflects more on the director and casting director because of how young she was (but more on that later)

Not only that, her Christine was SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down and oversexualized. I mean, the entire point of the story is that Christine grows strong enough to overcome the trauma of an abusive relationship and make sure that her abuser never hurts anyone ever again but still shows the Phantom compassion and sympathy. I mean, her story arc is her becoming strong-willed enough to overcome the Phantom's pull/spell/enchantment/hypnosis or whatever you percieve it as on her! And don't get me started on her costumes because of the SEVERE lack of modesty.

The chemistry was a little flat because she was underage and her two male love interests were both in their 30s (which totally isn't HER fault, of course, but the directors could easily have cast someone else older)

Her voice, too, strikes me as being much too young and undeveloped. She has a very pretty, sweet-sounding quality to her singing but she doesn't sound rich and operatic enough to be a convincing Christine. Rebecca Caine and Amy Manford do the best job of singing the way I think Christine ought to sound- a maturing opera voice! Though POTO is NOT an opera (you wouldn't believe how many people actually think it is...), it does revolve around opera, and Christine is an opera singer, not a pop star.

And now onto... Everyone's favourite vicomte!!!!!!

C'mon people, put your bottles down. It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre and it's almost impossible to hate him because of how relatable he is.

Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and face it, we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

My thoughts on Patrick Wilson as Raoul, he was one of the few redeeming qualities of this not so great movie. Yeah, the swordfight and Tarzan leaps were a little too much but can you blame him?! And though I feel like that foppish wig made him look more like a magic elf prince than a vicomte, he couldn't control that!

His Raoul was so gentle and caring! Yeah, his acting was a bit stiff but at least his voice wasn't a chore to listen to, it has this warm, tender, comforting quality to it which suits Raoul. I really loved the way he sang "Don't throw away your life for my sake" and "I fought so hard to free you" in the Final Lair (😭😭😭) It feels like Raoul is genuinely apologising to Christine.

I know, I know... The Hadley Fraser fans are approaching with menacing expressions as we speak but let me clarify. I still think Hadley is amazing but... His Raoul kinda felt a little too shouty for me and his Raoul was closer to the LND-canon than POTO-canon (not his fault though).

Miranda Richardson (aka. Rita Skeeter) as Madame Giry is kind of weird. I mean, I know Madame Giry's supposed to be a little Strange and Mysterious. But this Mme. wasn't really Strange or Mysterious at all, or even slightly Spooky at all. She was just kind of an oddball. Popping up in random places to give warnings about the Phantom and looking at people as if she were questioning their life choices or something. As for her daughter... well, Jennifer Ellison's Meg was so-so. She's got a sweet-sounding voice and that added scene where she looked for Christine in the lair was a nice touch... But... Her Meg was kinda forgettable and uninteresting. Meg is supposed to prance around shrieking that the Phantom of the Opera is here, not whisper it in a blase manner that you half expect to be followed up with, "by the way, what's for lunch?" Not to mention, she rivaled Christine as far as low-necked costumes went.

Minnie Driver as Carlotta was spot on! Yes, I know she didn't sing the score but her acting was alright. She was very over-the-top and self-centered, which is great for Carlotta, but I felt her portrayal was a little too childish to be accurate. Carlotta is a successful middle-aged diva who's willing to scream and storm when she doesn't get her way, but she isn't a two-year-old pouting and throwing tantrums. (Yes, there's a difference.)

Ciaran Hinds and Simon Callow played Firmin and Andre, respectively. Their managers kinda felt like twits and nothing more. Also, Firmin's masquerade costume was ridiculous. The stupid kind, not the funny kind. ...Well, okay, it was a little funny.

I'm not going to touch on every song here, but I will say that "Hannibal" was beyond awful (if you thought the costumes in the stage version were a bit risque, you should see the movie ones- no, actually you shouldn't) and that "Think of Me," while very nice, was not particularly memorable. Christine's dress, however (despite its less-than-ideal neckline) was GORGEOUS, even though it looks completely out of place in a musical that supposedly takes place in ancient Alexandria.

"Little Lotte" kinda lost its charm by being spoken instead of sung. And Gerard Butler's voice in "The Mirror" was too rough and raspy for my ears and made me cringe in sympathetic shame. The title song was like a cheesy, campy B-grade horror movie tbh, trying way too hard to be spooky and chilling ("ooh, look, Phantom's Lair! It's DARK and SCARY down here!") and succeeding only in being cringeworthy. Not that I've actually ever seen a bad horror movie- or any horror movie at all, for that matter. Unless you count this one.

Christine's costume, too, annoyed me no end. She was basically wearing a corset and drawers under the dressing gown. *facepalm* The dressing gown is supposed to go OVER your COSTUME to keep it CLEAN, peeps. It's not a BATHROBE. And the amount of eye makeup she had on would terrify a raccoon. Yikes.

Though I liked the random horse because of its nod to the Leroux novel.

"Music of the Night" was so blah-slash-touchy-feely that it made me summarily uncomfortable.

I'd like to be able to say something nice about "I remember/Stranger than you dreamt it" but I have none. One thing that bugged me to no end was how Christine is no longer wearing stockings, like dude, that gives some GROSS implications. Anyways, let's skip to Il Muto!

Oh, but first I should say that "Notes" was rather a flop and that "Prima Donna" is unmemorable and indeed should probably be fast-forwarded as there's a rather unsavory bit involving a crew member showing the audience what he thinks of Carlotta's behaviour.

"Il Muto," I must say, was pretty doggone funny. Carlotta's "Your part is silent. Leetle toad," cracked me up into a bunch of giggling little pieces, and the little vignette of the Phantom tinkering with Carlotta's throat spray made her croaking later on a lot more believable.

Now for "All I Ask Of You", SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn- someone to show affection to and his childhood friend.

One thing I definitely think could have been left out was the scene in which Erik kills Buquet- we totally did not need to see him being chased, terrified, through the rafters and finally strangled. Gross.

And the Phantom and his rose crouching behind that statue... I think this was supposed to be sad, but there was too much snot mixed with tears for it to be sad. It was, again, gross. So was Gerard Butler's pathetic attempt at the "all that the Phantom asked of you" line. And the lack of a chandelier crash in that scene made the song anticlimactic.

And "Masquerade" was so-so but... The Phantom's entrance is anticlimactic somehow, and his Red Death costume (if indeed it's supposed to even BE the Red Death) is unimpressive. I don't like how Raoul just runs off to desert Christine as soon as things start looking ugly (yes, I realize he was going to get his sword, but still... something could have happened to her while he was gone. Duh, did this guy learn anything from "Little Lotte/The Mirror"? Just sayin)

As for Madame Giry's flashback immediately following, I like how it gives us some of the Phantom's backstory, but it seems really abrupt. You don't even realize until she's done that she was talking to Raoul the whole time- it sounds like she's just randomly reminiscing about Stuff, and if you didn't know the story you might be sitting there thinking, "who is this strange woman again?"

Also, Christine leaving wherever-it-is at, like, five in the morning to go to who-knows-where, completely oblivious to the fact that the Phantom is driving her. Whaaaaaaaaa? How'd he know she was planning to go for a graveyard stroll? Was he watching her through the mirror again? THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" was rather mediocre and dulled down the fact that it is a Christine Empowerment™ song. Why, exactly, does Christine's father have the biggest monument in the cemetery? If he were a rich and famous violinist as his crypt seems to suggest, why on earth was his daughter struggling along as a chorus girl taking free music lessons?

The swordfight... Well... I had mixed feelings about it. Sword fights are all well and good, but... The swordfight takes away the element of mysterious danger to the Phantom. Okay, fine, Christine getting Raoul to spare the Phantom's life is a nice touch, I guess, but did it strike no one else that his "now let it be war upon you BOTH" makes absolutely NO sense after that? If she just saved his life, why would he suddenly be all, "thanks, but no thanks, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUUUUUUUUUU"?

And "Twisted Every Way" was after "Wishing" which made ZERO sense. Plus, I didn't like how they cut most of it because in the musical, it gave Christine a spine!

"Point of No Return"? Hooooooo boy....... There are so many things wrong with this number. Let's just a list a few.

*HOW did no one recognise the Phantom through his "disguise"?! At least in the stage play, it made more sense because of how he was wearing a cloak that obscured most of his body.

*Christine's sleeves falling down over and over again were REALLY annoying.

*It was just too touchy-feely for my taste.

*The fact that Emmy Rossum was a teenager during filming made this scene gross because of the way they oversexualized Christine in this scene.

*Gerard Butler's voice in that scene made me cringe and shake my head in sympathetic shame.

*In the stage play, Christine ran from him, showing her own agenda and resistance to his pull! While in the movie, she didn't resist him!

*Now for the one that took the cake... The disfigurement! Or it would be a disfigurement if it actually made him look, y'know, deformed. Instead, as several people have put it, he looks like he got a bad sunburn or something. It's really rather pathetic. It makes him look more like a drama queen than he already is! Yeah.... I really don't like this movie.

On to... Final Lair!!!!!!!! It was a flop. From Raoul's whining and flailing around and his stringy hair flopping about (shallow complaint, I know, but it's so ugly) to Christine's sappy melodramatic "don't make me choooooooose" faces to the Phantom's prancing around with his ropes and maniacal laughter that somehow wasn't really scary at all... yeah, it was a flop. A major, major flop. And though The Kiss wasn't all that bad, all I could think of was, "She's SIXTEEN! SIX! TEEN! THIS IS CREEPY, DISTURBING AND GROSS!"

Which is why it's so difficult for me to admit that, um, I... cried at the end.

I COULDN'T HELP IT GUYS HE WAS ALL ALONE THERE IN HIS LAKE WITH HIS MONKEY AND HIS SMASHED MIRRORS AND HE WAS CRYING AND IT WAS SAD.

And then that rose on the gravestone? That single red rose? And the look on Old Raoul's face (still Patrick Wilson, by the way, under all that makeup) when he saw it and realized he wasn't the only one visiting Christine's grave? Yup, I lost it again there, too. And I really didn't want to. Because I tend to cry over movies I love, y'know? And I didn't love this movie. At all

Yet I still cried at the end. I'm not really sure why. I think perhaps it had something to do with the way the story still "got" me, deep down inside, despite the lousy casting and less-than-perfect singing and ridiculously unnecessary elements that totally didn't need to be there. It's still a tragically beautiful romance, and even a bad film can't kill that.

In conclusion, I think Mary Poppins can best express what I thought of POTO 2004.

In conclusion, I rate it a 2.7/5

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Meena

Tommy: [Late enough that the clean up is done and she could've potentially heard about some of the drama but not late enough that if there's a mcwalsh party whereby Ali gets knocked up that he wouldn't already be drunk at that feels like a starting point] Tommy: Cá mbeidh tú ag fliúchadh na seamróige? 🍀🧡💚 Meena: I was about to go down to the restaurant, just hang out there Meena: Caleb and Drew were going to some party but I was not invited so 🤷 Meena: What are you all up to? Tommy: 🍻🥃 Tommy: but the vibe's more drinking ourselves to death, doubt you want an invite either, like Meena: I think that's most people's vibe but they sound happier/more in denial about it...? Tommy: Yeah, it's casually cultural Meena: Yeah? Tommy: You're not feeling patriotic today? Meena: I don't really vibe it any day Meena: but that's not important Tommy: that's a no for the Irish dancing then, alright Meena: We can try Meena: I look even taller when I'm not allowed to move my upper body though Tommy: 😂 Meena: no leprechauns here Tommy: any 🌈💰? Meena: no more than normal 💔 Tommy: I'll be right there then 🌈✨ Meena: That's your superpower Meena: I don't know how 🍀🧡💚 Gus has gone, you'll probably feel more at 🏡 where you are Tommy: It ain't feeling very 🏡 but 💌 received Tommy: I'll stay put, feet & upper body Meena: Why not? Tommy: long story Tommy: you'll hear the short one at 🏫 probably Meena: You don't feel like telling it, understood Meena: is there anything I can do? Tommy: I don't know how to, more like Tommy: you'd redraft it before you were done with the 1st for being too Tommy: unreadable Meena: Nonsense poetry is my specialty Tommy: Yeah? Tommy: maybe you should've been there to roll out the welcome wagon for my new sister Meena: New sister? Meena: Oh, do you mean your mum's baby Meena: not baby now, from before Tommy: she definitely ain't a baby now Meena: So, she came and it went bad Meena: I'm so sorry, Tommy Meena: how bad are we talking? Tommy: bad as it gets Meena: Is your mum alright, I mean Meena: stupid question, but Tommy: It's a fair question & I wish the answer was yeah Tommy: or there was fuck all I could do Meena: That's terrible Tommy: I've gotta go back to school, how can I? Meena: For them Meena: sometimes all you can do is give everyone a small sense of normality Meena: even when you don't want to, or think you can't go on yourself Tommy: Ali can't hold down the fort all on her own, alright, she probably can, but she shouldn't have to Meena: She won't be Meena: she has Carly, and me and Ro and, loads of people, really Meena: I promise we'll all do what we can Tommy: Don't start me on Ro, she wasn't even there Meena: Where was she? Tommy: Fuck knows Tommy: I thought she might be with you Tommy: or your brother Meena: She wasn't with me Meena: maybe Drew but I doubt it, he's been out and about everywhere all day, obviously Tommy: she'll be at home then Meena: Oh, that's a bit Meena: I understand under normal circumstances the pub on St Paddy's is not her ideal place to be but as it was Meena: anyway, that's all to say, you don't need to worry about Ali, she has a good support system to support your parents and take care of Rocky Meena: do you have people YOU can talk to and lean on at school? Tommy: yeah, Carly's ace with him & Ali to have lasted this long, like Tommy: I ain't telling anyone at school about this, loads of 'em already think I'm trash Tommy: or come from it Tommy: they've got a point now Meena: No, they don't Meena: your family are some of the best people I know Meena: you're not anything to be ashamed of Tommy: Everyone around here knows that Joe would be your brother's best customer except he don't carry the right stuff & now loads of 'em also know she's as bad, nah, worse Tommy: & that together they're Tommy: I can't even fucking go there Meena: People shouldn't judge him by that, never mind you as his family Tommy: They do though Tommy: keeping my mouth shut about it at school is my best option Meena: as long as you can express yourself and have an outlet through your work, I can't say I blame you Meena: you don't have to tell everyone everything Tommy: or anything Tommy: 🩰 will do Meena: I shouldn't say anything against words, given who I am and what I want to be but Meena: a comfortable silence can be preferable to words you're unsure of, words that hurt, or that you don't want to speak into existence Tommy: Yeah, I'd take an uncomfortable silence over that too Tommy: everyone's hurting & unsure enough Meena: if it's good enough for Maya Meena: 🤐 Tommy: I didn't mean with you Meena: You can always talk to me Meena: no matter the quality or quantity of your words Meena: you know that Tommy: okay Meena: but no rush on it Meena: obviously Meena: and I won't fill the silence with total nonsense, like Tommy: but those poems are your speciality Tommy: self proclaimed, like, but still Meena: Rude to doubt me Meena: 🥬🐢🐌👑 Tommy: Gimme one then Tommy: best shot Meena Though some at my aversion smile, I cannot love the crocodile. Its conduct does not seem to me Consistent with sincerity. Meena: 🐊💔 Tommy: He is basically a 🐍 with feet Tommy: You 🖋 that? Meena: Sadly not Meena: I'll try to write something as appropriate scathing for your brother Tommy: Or as 💔 for me, yeah? Meena: Of course Meena: what could be better to cheer you up? 😏 Tommy: as a feel good goes it's obviously unrivalled even by 🍻🎵💃🕺 Tommy: that's the level of your talent Meena: You're either that drunk or you wish you were...code red either way Meena: you could come to the restaurant though, if you actually wanted Tommy: Get ahead at waiting tables for when the West End fucks me off & over Tommy: good thinking Meena: Please Meena: your name is already in lights, I can see it Meena: 🤩 Tommy: as you said please, I'll come Meena: manners maketh the man do what you want? Meena: interesting Tommy: works on this one Tommy: how much of a man I am is up for debate, usually Meena: People are idiots Meena: and too invested in stuff that doesn't affect them whatsoever Tommy: like you said, practically a local celeb at this point Meena: still, what's going on in your tights is just not their business Tommy: that's such a you way to put that Meena: I'll choose to take that as a compliment on me having a consistent voice Meena: though the alternatives are 🤔 Tommy: take as I miss you Meena: Are you back for long? Tommy: Nah, they ain't that patriotic either Tommy: I shouldn't even be here, wouldn't have been if she wasn't coming Meena: That's shittier Tommy: maybe JC is trying to keep me humble before I get too 🤩 Meena: It's Patrick that needs to make a second coming to banish your brother 🐍🐍 Tommy: he's already done that himself Meena: Oh, that was the purpose of today then? Meena: I get it Tommy: if he had one Tommy: might have just been out of his 🧠 on whatever 💊💉🥄🚬 Tommy: or worse so 😍 over her that's all that he gives a shit about besides the above Meena: Wait Meena: he's what? Tommy: you'll hear about it soon as you get back to class, they were doing it for everyone to see Tommy: her purpose given what it did to my ma Meena: Jesus Meena: that's Meena: you're right, no words Tommy: at least he one upped Fraze, I guess Meena: does make that situation seem totally run of the mill in comparison Meena: I have heard it happens Meena: when people who are related but estranged meet Meena: it's like a thing™ Meena: not that that helps you personally, obviously Tommy: Really?! Meena: [sends articles like nerd] Tommy: fucking hell Meena: It's crazy Meena: like you know there should be some strong emotional response but you kinda get it fucked up or something Meena: I don't know, science isn't my forte Tommy: nor mine, but if anyone would get those kind of wires crossed, it would have to be him Tommy: Jesus Meena: at least he didn't have a wife and kids to leave or something like some of these people Meena: it's really sad Tommy: you didn't see her though, she's like Tommy: terrifying Meena: I don't think they have to be a hottie but it probably helps in some cases Tommy: 😂 Meena: how so though? like what was she like Tommy: Alright so if they were putting a modern twist on Frankenstein's monster for the stage she could play that, but she'd need serious anger management first Tommy: electroshock wouldn't be far off, funnily enough Meena: Okay, that does sound scary Meena: even if looks can be deceiving, is the moral my own life has hit home hard, sounds like the insides matched so Tommy: It was like if you took every teenage horror story my ma has told us, scraped off the sugarcoating and then mixed that with the worst shit Fraze has ever done when he's on one, you still wouldn't come close to the mark Meena: I know the sort you mean Meena: no matter how well Drew and Caleb think they do with protecting me, I've had plenty of people approach me asking for them, messing with me Tommy: this once I'm gutted you know what I mean then Tommy: 'cause fuck that Meena: mostly it's the former and it's stupid little kids who want some weed or pills, that's just annoying but yeah Tommy: you know boxing's footwork is dead easy, I could teach you what my dad taught me Tommy: any time you want Meena: thanks Meena: at least my height would finally work in my favour, right? Meena: better reach Tommy: bigger 🎯 too remember Tommy: you have to keep your guard up to protect that face Meena: sounds like you're saying I'm 🌚 Tommy: 😮 Tommy: that's awkward Meena: *frantically googles how to shrink head* Tommy: nah, it's awkward 'cause you grew into your head ages ago & I didn't throw you a 🥳 or anything Tommy: must of happened all of a sudden or without me realising Meena: grew into it?! Meena: so I was a bobblehead before, thanks so much 😂 Tommy: only slightly Meena: I'm only slightly 💔 then Tommy: don't be, it was endearing Tommy: you were a cute kid Meena: okay 👵 Meena: no need to patronize me Meena: my head is only literally big, not metaphorically Tommy: come on, a 🍭 is a great look Meena: Better than a pea-head Tommy: or a 🍐 head like I've got Meena: it's distinguished Meena: be gutted you don't want to be a character actor Tommy: nice save, you can teach me ⚽ when we're done with 🥊 Meena: Sounds good to me Tommy: 👍 Tommy: [show up boy cos the restaurant can't be that far from the pub surely] Meena: [have a nerdy but more chill time, Gus loves everyone he's a good egg, I say you should go to this party for the drama of it all sod it] Tommy: [agreed x 2 the restaurant would have such a nice vibe when Drew and Caleb aren't there which they obviously aren't rn and then yeah we can get more messy with it] Meena: [okay so the plan, we having a lovely time (given the circumstances tonight lol) then her boyf shows up] Tommy: [I just picture her bf being so underwhelming like no offense but he'd have to be someone that Tommy didn't clock on socials so when he realises he's like oh and then dials his campness up to 1000000 being that gay BFF stereotype which she would pick up on immediately cos that's not how he is with her except when he's hiding behind it cos things are uncomfortable between them. I just imagine him raiding Ali & Carly's makeup and wardrobe and making the gayest cocktails he can and getting Meena involved and stealing her attention] Meena: [he wouldn't be and he's also lowkey an arsehole as per her type so he wouldn't be all ❤ on her socials anyway, but all this can be a thing 'cos not seeing the gay boy as a threat and probably wants to get drunk so] Tommy: [don't beat him up Tommy you don't want her to think you're doing it for Drew and Caleb like reasons] Meena: [at least we know you two are distracted] Tommy: [thanks for also getting Carly and Ali involved in your gay antics because we all need whatever fun we can get] Meena: [until you gotta go pregnant Ali] Tommy: [lord, I hope Tommy has left by then] Meena: [lordt] Tommy: [casual 3way with your missus and the less attractive drug dealer in town] Meena: [thank god your genetics are solid underneath that mess boy] Tommy: [and we know Rio looks like Ali anyways] Meena: [you do alright out of it kids] Tommy: [it could be so much worse] Meena: [blame your dad for your insecurities grace] Tommy: [and your evil nan] Meena: [junie is just #unique like no one looking like you boy, the closest is fraze as your uncle] Tommy: [unless he looks like Caleb's dad because we don't know him] Meena: [who can say baby] Tommy: [anyway take a moment to appreciate all the Tommy and Meena dancing everyone, giving you that for free] Meena: [love that] Tommy: [soz shit bf he is a threat because their chemistry especially when they are dancing is ridiculous goodbye] Meena: [deffo gonna get mardy at that and go off to have an argument] Tommy: [are you happy now Thomas? Thought not] Meena: [awkwarddd] Tommy: [get drunker boy that'll totally make it better and not worse] Meena: [cry in the bathroom that's a mood] Tommy: [ruin your make up, oh babe] Meena: [everyone else is so wrecked you'll fit in] Tommy: [by not doing drugs you're one of the least messy] Meena: [exactly dr phil] Meena: [the next day] Meena: Have a safe flight back Tommy: Cheers, I'll probably just 💤 Meena: Can't blame you Tommy: did you get any? Meena: Yeah, I'm fine Meena: had to get up early to clean the restaurant though so not as much as I'd ideally want Tommy: had another 🌱🍏🍈🥬🌿🍐🥝🥒🌼 juice, yeah? Tommy: that's pretty patriotic, you know Tommy: better late than never, like Tommy: throw 🍊🍑🥕 in there too & you're sorted Meena: Yeah, I bet EVERYONE in this fair nation is starting a juice cleanse this AM, not having a fry-up, nah Tommy: 😏 Tommy: green eggs & ham would keep you in theme Meena: 🤢 Tommy: fair 🍳🥞🧇🥓🥐🥯🍞 then Tommy: take your pick Meena: are you gonna post it to me? Tommy: be messy if you're having 🍳 or 🥞 but saves me having to use any words Meena: Probably best to stick to non-perishables Meena: best option for us both, like Tommy: Yeah Meena: How was it, this morning Meena: before you left Tommy: how you'd expect Meena: Yeah Tommy: Bea has to leave too so Fraze's dramatics will take centre stage for a sec but Meena: Distraction is probably the best technique for right now Tommy: worked last night Meena: I bet the parties you have in London are even better Tommy: only 'cause we 🩰 ain't supposed to be partying Meena: and what's more fun than prohibition, sure Tommy: forbidden 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥝 juice is my fave, can't lie Meena: 🙄😏 Meena: enjoy Tommy: you're not supposed to give me your blessing, sucks the fun right out Tommy: forbidden, remember Meena: I'm not a teacher Tommy: yeah you are, whenever Anne needs you Meena: Okay, smartypants Meena: there's nothing I could teach YOU Tommy: not with THAT attitude Meena: 🤨 maybe next time Meena: bring your own 🩰 Tommy: & 🥊 Meena: a look Tommy: the 🩳 are too Meena: what do you wear on your top half though Meena: leotard? Tommy: lads don't usually wear anything to show off 💪 Meena: Who are you showing off to? Tommy: The other lad of course, name a sport that ain't homoerotic Meena: not when you come back here Tommy: when I come back here most of all Meena: no boys in my classes Tommy: Anne's been a letdown from the very beginning, what can I say? Tommy: you're on your own, Meeps Meena: I'll survive Tommy: I know

[dailytechnologynews]

Is there really not a perfect 11.5-13.5" Windows tablet choice?!

Hello guys. For the past week i've been researching to find the perfect windows tablet choice for my specific application need. However it seems there isn't even one device that doesn't have some type of throwback. I'm not asking for everything, but it seems it is either hit or miss, even if you take into account overpriced products. Please hear me out and let me know your thoughts.

I am essentially looking for a WINDOWS TABLET which its primary purpose is to be fitted to my car as a secondary "dash" per say so i can use it to interact with my aftermarket motorsports ecu. It will function as a monitoring dash for the most of the time, but can be used to datalog (aka record data) or for direct tuning (so i don't have to bring my laptop everytime i need to make changes to my engine calibration). I wouldn't mind using it at home as well since i will have it, but mostly will work as a travel/trip companion since i have a PC at home. It has to be a WINDOWS tablet as the software that interfaces with the ecu is only windows based.

After thinking and revising my requirements several times after getting disappointed by what is available here is the break down:

Dimensions: Height needs to be around ~205mm +10mm max so the tablet can be secured in the glove box when not in use. Ideally height should be maximized so that the display area is maximized as well. Length larger than 300mm is not a problem but would get annoying to fit to the car since it will extend more towards the passenger side. This effectively limits me to ~11.8-13.3" tablets, so Microsoft Surface Pro can be used as a reference design (since i haven't seen bezel-less windows tablets yet) Display: This is the most important attribute of the tablet. 1080p absolute minimum resolution, 2K ideally, 3K is probably not gonna be noticeable at the usage distance. Here is a screenshot from my 1080p laptop so you can see the ECU software in datalog mode (slightly cropped but so you can get an idea: http://content.invisioncic.com/r260425/monthly_2017_09/fuel_pressure_link.png.bc827c0a96fe120632f1d7c168e66a64.png However let's not forget brightness and contrast. Brightness should be ~400nits or better for a glossy display, and contrast should be considered over color accuracy. Viewing angle in the length span should be at least 150deg but i think it is hard nowadays to find such a bad display panel. Finally a fully laminated panel is recommended. Physical interfaces: I essentially need a single full size USB port so i can connect my ECU to the tablet. After my research i decided to allow for USB-C assuming that i can get a dongle that will allow me to interface without any issues; but it's best not to allow for that route due to possible incompatibility issues (like what happened when usb3.0 was released). Extra USB ports, USB-C that allows charging and data, video output port, headphone jack, m.2 expansion slot, sd card slot are all pluses. Wireless interfaces: Min wifi and bluetooth. 802.11AC and bluetooth v4.2 or better all pluses. CPU/GPU performance: Generally something better than N3450 (tested my brother's CHUWI surbook mini) and more recent will help, GPU performance is irrelevant for the task so the majority of intergrated GPU's will do fine. RAM: 4GB absolute minimum, 8gb ideal Cooling: I prefer passive cooling, but usually the cooling solution used is sh*t. At least in some cases it can be modded (i'm experienced and willing to do) Battery: 4 hours light use with full display brightness as minimum. If charging is performed over USB-C i hope it is not the stupid kind of power->battery->device like in phones and can work like in laptops where the battery is not used when power is supplied to the laptop. This way you don't wear out the battery since the device will be connected to power most of the time it is operated. Storage: 64gb absolute min, ideal min should be 128gb, speed is relative but i think at least m.2 sata interface ssd; NVME huge + Others: Pen support and attachable keyboard are pluses, but i plan on using a good bluetooth keyboard with backlight (required) so it makes them irrelevant if the tablet is good, Thunderbolt 3 is a +, unlocked bios +, kickstand should work on a lap without cutting your pants off and stay in one place, sd card reader + Reliability: From what i read most chinese tablets are pretty bad with both hardware and software issues out of the box. Backcover should be metal to act as heatsink and be stiff enough, weight and thickness is not that important Condition: New or used. I believe some products offer better value when bought used and others because have been discontinued Pricing: My budget is flexible but depending on the features lots of them are overpriced especially bought new. I would say ~500eur for a new tablet with min features required and 1000eur for one with better hardware. Considering i'm building a 7nm PC in a couple of months the market pricing is really unacceptable for most windows tablets. Blame Apple for it, but i'm not a rich consumer neither i am a sheep. Performance to value is what i always look for.

I literally checked every windows tablet and 2-in-1 i believe. Here some potential picks and what i didn't like.

Microsoft Surface Pro (4 - 5 - 6): At first glance it is a good base candidate..but..really Microsoft? It's 2019 and no USB-C? Proprietary connector and overpriced hardware? Questionable reliability? Get the f*ck out of here. Unless you find a good used deal i don't think it would be worth it. Another Apple wannabe. Eve-tech EVE V: This is one tablet that hits all the boxes, kinda, since by now it is almost obsolete in terms of CPU performance..sadly while i'm greek-cypriot i would go with the stereotypical view for greeks because the CEO is a "malakas" and i'm really sorry to all the people that were scammed. On the other hand i believe there is some truth to the Paypal issues he had since my friend had similar issues (because of not much experience) and even I couldn't help him get them fixed as Paypal is run by assholes as well which need a punch to the face (their excuse it is the system and they can't do anything about it - like wtf). I still use it but the time a different payment system reaches similar adoption i would gladly switch. Chuwi Surbook: Slow CPU, screen is not fully laminated, mediocre specs but was good price at some time ago. Maybe the announced "surbook pro" would fair better? Voyo Vbook i5/i7 Plus: Nice screen, fair pricing? Not the most quality build, shitty battery, i7 model throttles? Teclast X6 Pro: A slightly better vbook i5? No full detailed reviews yet, and i wasn't that impressed from the previous X5 review Alldocube Knote 8: Seems good on paper, but no type-A usb ports Jumper EZpad 6: Possibly the only windows tablet in stock with a good value, however i need something with a better and larger display Acer Switch 3/5: Mediocre screens, single type-A port on the right side (since my car is RHD and the ecu is on the left side i would prefer it on the left side), shitty battery performance, a little overpriced Dell XPS 12 9290/Latitude 5290/Latitude 7285: Great displays, powerful, only 5290 has type-A port, mediocre battery life, overpriced but there are good used deals Asus Transformer 3 Pro T303UA/T304UA: Premium specs but discontinued, expensive, only 1 type-A port and it is on the right side (again), T304 is a huge step backwards even though newer (what the heck Asus, are you drunk?) Lenovo ThinkPad X1: Overpriced, no type-A ports, Gen3 is too big and has display coating issues, Gen2 is more suitable due to size and type-a interface but older and screen brightness not that good - all too tall Lenovo MIIX series: new 630 uses an ARM processor so no go (since i can't force the software developpers to re-compile), 720 rates very high in the features i need, 2 usb type-A ports, nice display, etc. 520 is a little newer with weaker hardware but still good for its price HP Pro X2/Envy X2/Elite X2 1012: HP's other offerings like the Elite X2 1013 are too tall for my needs, and while they have good displays and good build quality i am not font of their design decisions. I have a Zbook 17 G5 workstation at work we bought new and not even 6 months passed and the CPU fan now rattles like crazy..here's my 1st day rant about it: https://h30434.www3.hp.com/t5/Notebook-Hardware-and-Upgrade-Questions/Note-to-HP-Zbook-17-G5-design-engineers-Please-read-and/td-p/6914797 Also they are overpriced like crazy. I wouldn't ever think of buying again from them. Also the power supply is proprietary as some of the internal hardware. F*ck HP Huawei MateBook E: Aside the lack of ports it is a pretty good designed device, display is perfect but slightly smaller than the biggest i can fit - depending on price it might be a good consideration assuming i can run a USB-C dock i can charge within the car Samsung Galaxy Book 12: Similar to the Huawei above, just a little faster but with a worse display, extra usb-C port. Older and more expensive than the Huawei Toshiba Portege X30T and others: Ports are on the keyboard and not on the tablet, won't work for me.

I think i've covered 99% of the options but i may could have missed 1 or 2. To be honest i won't need this tablet for another 3-6months i would guess but at least i've done my research so i will be prepared when the time comes to buy one. What do you think? I know i went a little crazy but i'm that type of person that never regrets his purchasing choices because i don't buy blindly.

[istgimamess]

Label: sm entertainment

Stage name: bella (because you're beautiful~)

Debut year: 2015 (3 yrs active)

Debut concept: aggressive bubblegum synth, dance heavy, vocal heavy, bright, pop!

Number of members: 4

Group name: strawberry jam (sj)

Fandom name: jammers

Position: main vocal, visual, dance line

Male bestie: Jongin (EXO)

How you meet: you are a hard worker, always putting your best foot forward, giving it your all; putting all your effort into anything you do! Which is such a great quality, you're told! Lord knows, you've benefited from that personality trait thousands of times, mostly in your career and personal relationships! However, alot of the time, it tends to have a negative effect! Mainly on your health! You put so much effort into whatever you're working on at the moment: new choreography, new music etc. that you tend to neglect your personal health! This lands you in the hospital alot; its not ideal, but you can't complain, your doctor is probably your favorite! Which is where you end up meeting (*cough*...fighting with) Jongin! You had a really important public appearance coming up, a couple of variety shows and another comeback all scheduled within a weeks time; and you knew your health wasn't at its prime, so you were basically in mental panic mode! You were hoping to get in and out of your check up as fast as possible, because you had things to do! Long story short, that wasn't happening! You ended up sticking your head in to the doctors office, to confront the patient before you! Which happened to be Jongin! "Hi! Yeah, sorry! Could you, I don't know, hurry up!? I've aged quite drastically since being here.." "He's my doctor and I was here first!" "Yeah, well he likes me better!" After a few more minutes of back and forth, a kindergarten-like tantrum and some overdramatic whining on both of your parts, you were left by your very flustered doctor to "..Work things out!.." You quickly end up bonding over your mutual lack of priority when it comes to your health, your whiney childlike mannerisms when you're sick or hungry and a love for the theater! He ends up becoming one of your best friends and you're almost always together! You're both quite determined and hardworking, both tending to over work yourselves and this is usually the cause for most of your fights: scolding eachother for not prioritizing your health! He ends up worrying about your health more than he does his, and vice versa! But you're constantly supporting eachother in anything you pursue! "Jongin, I heard Bella from Strawberry Jam is your best friend, is that true!?" "Yeah, she's my best friend!" "Cool! I also heard she is the biggest EXO supporter, is that right!?" "Yes, she is! I made a joke the other day about her leaving music to work for EXO and help us promote our new album!" "Really!? What did she say!?" "It was so funny, she took the album and walked over to the street corner and just stood there like this...(^ gif ^)..I couldn't stop laughing!" Your friendship is really goals!

Female bestie: Jennie (Blackpink)

How you meet: you love singing and you love theatrics but sometimes you feel like dancing and choreography, in general, can be very confusing and frustrating! So you decided to take some dance classes on the side, for some extra practice! That's how you meet Jennie, through a friend of a friend! One day after class, you accidently trip over her bag and take her down in a mess of legs, elbows and sweat! "Oh my god- I'm so sorry!...Ouch! Sorry! Yikes- are you okay!?" "Yes, of course! I'm clearly living the dream!" "Oh, well...glad I could help you do that then..." you stared at eachother for a few beats of silence, still sprawled out on the floor, and then busted out laughing! You ended up attached at the hip! It's an inside joke that you were split at birth and that you're actually twins; that's how similar your personalities are and your sense of humor! You're both really sarcastic and it's 100x worse when you're together! The fans love it! And despite how goofy and silly you both are when you're together, everyone can tell you both care about eachother immensely! You're always supporting eachother and you're always both genuinely happy for eachothers successes! She calls herself your "only fan!" And she lives up to that name! "Jennie! Did you hear yet!? Strawberry Jams song 'Pink' has hit the Billboard charts!" "..(^ gif ^)..What!? Seriously!?! I have to call Bella!!..." Such a cute friendship!

Group bestie: NCT OT18

How you meet: this probably, most definitely was the weirdest encounter you've ever had! You love to skateboard; you wouldn't say you're that great at it, I mean, you're no Tony hawk! But it is a hobby of yours! And when you have a stressful, busy day, full of dance practices and studio visits- you like to sneak out in the middle of the night, when the streets are empty, go down to the local park and skate to de-stress a bit! It's kind of like your secret rendezvous self-care session! Not even your group members know about it! The park, Seoul in general, is usually dead with no soul in sight at this time of night! Which is why you're so startled when one second you're minding your own business, practicing an inward heel flip and the next second you're surrounded by a bunch of guys who look like they've just stepped straight out of an Avril Lavigne MV! It startles you so much you trip backwards over your board and land flat on your back! You say about every curse word in every language you know, on the way down! "Oh my god! I told you we would scare her!" "If anybody scared her, it was you with that stupid pedo face!" "That's so rude! Taeyong, tell him that was rude!" "I mean..I did tell you to shave this morning.." "Yeah, you kind of look like an asian yeti.." "Or a pedophile, definitely a pedophile.." "Seriously?! Is this attack necessary!?? I mean-" "Umm, so sorry, pedi-yeti and friends..could you possibly, I don't know...help me up!?" They ended up hauling you up and bombarding you with questions left and right! Questions about your skateboard, questions about your skating technique etc etc. The more they asked, the more you answered and the more you answered, the more they asked! It was pretty much down hill from there! But it's all good, they quickly became some of your biggest supporters and closest friends! They always cheer for you the loudest at award shows! And sometimes, Taeyong or Ten, will send you little videos and clips (with the funniest captions) they filmed, on the down low, of the rest of the members singing and dancing to your music, unaware the were being filmed! "..[Bella, your music is hurting innocent bystanders! RIP Jeno]..(^ gif ^).." They're such a mess and it's the cutest!

Boyfriend: Taehyung (BTS)

Ship name(s): tella, bae couple, baehyung

How you meet: the way you 'officially' meet is kind of funny! And the time and location is a bit obscure! Anytime someone asks him when and where you met, he says Italy in June! You say it was definitely paris, late July! Both of you would be right and wrong! You love traveling and any time you have the opportunity, you jump on it! This is no secret! You first noticed him in Paris, he first noticed you in Italy, you both noticed eachother in Chicago! By the time you ended up back in the Incheon International Airport - you were 98.7% positive you had picked up a stalker abroad! "Are you following me!?" "I was going to ask you the same thing!" "Well I asked you first, so answer!" "I don't take demands from potential stalkers!" Some threats to call the police and a couple defensive hand gestures later, you eventually both settled on fate being the reason you've bumped into eachother over and over again! As cheesy as it might sound! You quickly bond over your artistic and creative sides, and a strong love for traveling and then there is no going back! He's one of your biggest supporters and you both often credit eachother as being an inspiration and muse! You eventually, after realizing how important and serious your relationship was becoming, went public! You figured your close friends and family would be the most supportive, and they were, but in actuality it was the fans that became your biggest supporters! "Tae-oppa!! Over here!! Taehyung-oppa!! You and Bella-unnie are the cutest couple ever!! I will always support you!!" "...(^ gif ^)..." It's so heartwarming!

Biggest fan: your biggest fan is probably Junhoe from IKON! He's always covering your songs, he even covers the songs you cover! He says it's only because he wants to prove he can harmonize with you, always calling you out in interviews hoping to get the chance to meet you and collaborate! "Bella from Strawberry Jam is my favorite! She has the best voice, even better than me! And she has good taste in music, I would love to collaborate with her if given the chance!" He's always showing support for your comebacks as well and even your solo projects; watching every drama and CF you do and streaming your music, constantly singing along with you at the top of his lungs! He's a dedicated and loyal fan and he's pretty loud and proud about it! So much, that it's even a running joke in his group that he would leave the rest of the members for even just a chance to perform with you! Well, it's a joke to them! Him, not so much! "Junhoe! I heard that you're a huge fan of Bella from Strawberry Jam, is that true!?" "Yes! She is my favorite singer!" "Oh really!? I heard that you would leave IKON without a second thought, if she ever wanted to perform with you!" "Yes, I would! In a heartbeat!" "What the-...you answered that so fast! You would really leave us, huh!?" "Yep!.." "...(^ gif ^)..." It's pretty funny!

Scandal: it's really no secret you have been trying to break out into the acting industry for a while, and make that cross over from idol to actress - auditioning and taking acting classes and workshops in your spare time! It's also no secret that you're good long time friends with Jaebum from GOT7! You've know eachother since before your debut and he's one of your closest friends, almost family! He's always helping you practice and reading scripts with you to help prepare you for auditions, giving you advice and direction on characters! So it's really not shocking when dispatch comes out with photographs of you two, on multiple days, coming out of your apartment and/or restaurants! What is a bit shocking is the headlines that are attached to those photos! "Strawberry Jams Bella and GOT7s Jaebum! Are they together!?" "Does GOT7s Jaebum have a sweet tooth for Strawberry Jam!? New couple alert!" It's ridiculous! "Are they serious!? A sweet tooth!? Who is writing this mush!?" "What I don't understand is how they got us mixed up!? I mean, I'm clearly the more desirable one in this relationship.." "Are you trying to make me throw up, or does that just come naturally when looking at your face?" "I'm a masterpiece and you are blessed to be in my presence.." What a dork!

Other activities: it's no secret you live for the dramatics, and the theatre is almost like your second home! So when SM suggested you audition for a couple of upcoming dramas, you jumped on the opportunity! And it was the best thing you could've possibly done! You ended up, not only booking a role, but booking a lead! You got to act along Seo Kang Joon (^ gif ^) who is the sweetest and most talented! You made new life long friends, won a couple of awards and gained a whole new following! Sure, they made you dye your hair a darker shade a red and teased you a bit on set about your sense of humor, but it was totally worth it! "It was so fun! And the hair color choice is actually kind of growing on me!" "Oh really!? Quickly, say that again into the camera! In 10 years when you're bald, I want proof that you were once satisfied..." "JB, I will literally push you off of this rooftop..." You didn't, but you were close to it!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

@suchqt here is your idol ship~ thanks so much for the request and I hope you like it! 😅 Let me know what you think!

[pablothoughts]

The best time to live was easily the 2010's, so if I had to pick the PERFECT window to exist, it would be from 1982 - 2019. LET ME EXPLAIN. Being born in 1982 would be optimal for plenty of reasons, some of which include:

1. You get to be a "90's kid", I wasn't one, but hey, assuming your family had some heavy pockets, you too could enjoy fixing cassette tapes with a pencil! Listening to all sorts of wacky stuff, on the radio! Shitty audio quality, that's where it's at my friend. Oh, and having to learn new swear words the old fashioned way, and tell them to all of your shit head friends at school. And, if you manage to survive acid rain and everything being flammable, you can overall be a kid!Specifically, one aged 8-17. Which brings me to my next point,

2: at the turn of the century, you're 18! That's right, after surviving planes falling from the sky, and overall catastrophic societal collapse brought by y2k, you can do all sorts of wacky stuff! Blockbuster, anyone? How about some skinny jeans? How about the true "wild west" era of the internet? Whatever it is, it's all here. Oh, and don't worry about, like, work, or 9/11 or any of that, this is an *idealized* version of the 2000s, here.

3. Look at you! All grown up. 28, it's now 2010. I uh, can't really think of anything cool that happened in that year SPECIFICALLY. But in 2012 you can get vine, so, yay? Also, youtube. Oh and, in the later years you can take part in some wacky stuff, flip some water bottles, pretend the floor is lava, eat a tide pod, fidget spinner, anyone? Look, bottom line is, the 2010s hold ENDLESS possibilities. Oh, and you'll die in 2019 before ever getting a whiff of a pandemic, at the ripe age of 37.

So, how was that? Inaccurate and oversimplified? Awesome! That's what I was going for. Until next time, you... chinese zodiac dog, you! (If you were actually born in 1982 and are actually a chinese zodiac dog then um... I'm sorry for this)

[xtruss]

Which Players Have Been The Biggest Losses to Cricket This Century?

Mohammad Asif, patron saint of what-could-have-beens Getty Images (A Boak Bollock who involved himself in a match fixing crimes and killed his own promising career. Otherwise he would be the most fiercest, formidable, intimidating and dangerous fast bowler of the Cricketing World.)

— Jul 9, 2020 | ESPN Staff

In this edition of Rabbit Holes, Osman Samiuddin, Andrew Fidel Fernando and Sidharth Monga gather for a round of lamentation and breast-beating over cricket's greatest unfulfilled talents and shed tears over what might have been.

Andrew Fidel Fernando, ESPNcricinfo's Sri Lanka correspondent: So, the biggest losses to cricket this century. I think given the people involved in the conversation, this will quickly degenerate into a Mohammad Asif support group. But there are so many others who've not had the careers we all wanted them to have.

Osman Samiuddin, senior editor: Wait, what? This is not the Asif Anonymous Group already?

Fernando: "Hi, I'm Osman, and it's been ten years since I last watched Asif bowl. (breaks down sobbing uncontrollably)"

Sidharth Monga, assistant editor: And the thing is, Asif don't care. Or at least doesn't seem to care.

Samiuddin: Although the thing is, I think Asif does care. In that interview with Umar Farooq it was clear he cares about how people remember him. Maybe just not enough to get bogged down by it.

Monga: He has moved on better than us. Which is him being kinda, "Yeah, this is life, what are you going to do about it?" But I also like that he is turning out in domestic cricket despite there being no hope that he will ever bowl at the highest level again. This is every ball of his first two spells of the QeA final in 2017-18. Cruelly, captained again by Salman Butt, who chose to field first, which is something you don't do in Test cricket these days. And the first two comments on the video!

Samiuddin: For the longest time - and even now - I believe that the careers of Kumar Sangakkara and AB de Villiers would have turned out different had they had to play Asif often.

Fernando: Sanga would have got out cheaply to Asif five times in a row one series and retired in shame in 2012 - that's how your fantasy goes, right?

Samiuddin: Earlier, ideally.

Monga: Hashim Amla, AB and Kevin Pietersen didn't even play him that much, but the little that they did was enough to convince them he was the best bowler they faced. Ahead of all the other legends of the time.

Samiuddin: But with the advances in batsmanship - though, I guess mostly in white-ball cricket - how would Asif have responded? It's not a bad time to be a Test bowler though, so he probably would have been okay still.

Remember when Asif took 6 for 41 in Sydney in 2010, in a losing cause? Getty Images

Fernando: I do think Asif would have loved some of the tracks Pakistan have played on in the last five, six years.

Samiuddin: The UAE? I mean, imagine Misbah captaining Asif - would he have turned him into an offspinner?

Fernando: Hah, true, but I meant more outside the UAE. Those New Zealand greentops where you can only see the batsman from the helmet up, because of the grass cover. He would also have adored a lot of the tracks Pakistan played on in Sri Lanka, in the middle of the last decade, when they were visiting every other weekend.

Samiuddin: Also can't help but think how he would have gone in Australia. He had one great Test there - in Sydney - but that surface was green that first morning and it had rained and clouds were around, so it was ideal. I think that's probably the last time Australia had anything other than a flat track. His set-ups were like Warne in conception - this one of Clarke especially. He bowled four-five balls to Clarke before this, all good length, on off-stump line, either not seaming or seaming away. Two-three he left alone to keeper. One he drove. This one he tried to drive again and it was the first one that seamed in. So, so, so simple.

Monga: Did you say set-ups? And he did it all without a perfect upright seam the way Mohammed Shami's is. Or maybe bolt upright is not perfect, who knows. Also, Marcus North getting out in three balls reminds me of Asif once saying he is sometimes disappointed with batsmen who don't let him set them up properly and get out before the payoff.

Samiuddin: There was also a great set-up of Shane Watson in a previous Test, where Asif bowled to an 8-1 off-side field for a couple of overs and well wide of off stump. Like, really wide outside. Almost unnoticed he was pulling Watson further and further out to the off side. And then suddenly, when literally nobody was expecting it, he bowled one a little straighter, quicker, it swung in a fair bit. Watson had moved out to off stump in anticipation and the ball ended up missing Watson's leg stump by millimetres. I don't think I would ever have seen a dismissal like that. All that work for one ball and it only narrowly didn't come off.

Fernando: I feel like we could be on Asif all day.

Samiuddin: The point of all of which is that I don't think I have regretted not seeing more of any cricketer than Asif. So that's decided. How about some others?

Though, I mean, Pakistan could put out three XIs of these players who were lost and they could play a pointless tri-series among themselves. Like Mohammad Zahid. Fastest four balls Brian Lara faced in his life.

Monga: Would Umar Akmal qualify?

Fernando: And if we're doing a long Pakistan lamentation, is Fawad Alam in the mix?

Samiuddin: Hundred per cent. Not lost so much as ignored. Overlooked. Spat upon. Trampled.

Monster on a monstrous pitch: Jesse Ryder cut, drove and hooked to 83 in the 2011 World Cup quarter-final in Mirpur, while other batsmen struggled Getty Images

Monga: But we're drawing the line at Ahmed Shahzad?

Fernando: I'd like to throw two Kiwi names into the mix. Both of whom played 18 Tests. Both players of extreme quality. Lost to the game for reasons very different to Asif.

Samiuddin: Martin Guptill?

Fernando: Hah, no one so painfully vanilla. The first I'm thinking of, of course, is Jesse Ryder.

Samiuddin: Did you not once spend an entire six-month period of your life trying to chase him down?

Fernando: For a potential feature, yes, highly unsuccessfully. He was still playing. And still burning bridges. It was like the story hadn't actually stopped unravelling, so no one really wanted to talk about it.

Ryder just had such an instinctive feel for the game, whichever format he was playing. A rock-solid defence, a brutal pull shot, threw all of himself into those drives. When he middled it, you couldn't actually see the ball before it reappeared outside the boundary rope.

Monga: Underrated bowler and exceptional catcher to go with it. And he sold out stadiums. People came to watch Jesse Ryder.

Fernando: He was a monster at backward point.

Samiuddin: In that 2011 World Cup quarter-final in Dhaka, pitch like porridge - that was the only time I saw Ryder play and, my lord, if that wasn't the innings of that tournament. His timing that day was freakishly good. On that pitch - and the thing is, it's difficult to articulate - the difference in watching him bat and others that day was just so, so vast that you had to question yourself. Like, were you assessing the pitch wrong and were the rest just crap?

Monga: New Zealand is so not the country for Jesse. I remember him scoring a flawless double-century against India in Napier, and then breaking a chair or something in disgust when he got out. You can guess what got reported the next day.

Fernando: So I remember this crazy Ryder innings, where again, at the end, a chair got smashed (after a lot of Sri Lankan bowlers had also been smashed).

Samiuddin: I'm seeing a pattern here...

Monga: If I were the coach I would carry extra chairs.

Fernando: It was in the 2009 Champions Trophy. Ryder pulls a hamstring or a calf very early in this match. I think he was 7 off 7 or something like that. Basically can't run. And so he just starts blasting boundaries. Ten fours and a six - 74 off 58 balls.

Monga: He wasn't much for foot movement anyway, but somehow always played close to his body.

Forget the batting for a minute: Ryder also took blinders, like this one to dismiss Upul Tharanga in the 2011 World Cup semi-final AFP

Fernando: Opening partner Brendon McCullum, who is supposed to be this shining paragon of Kiwi aggression, ambles to 42 off 74 at the other end. Eventually Ryder gets out, and he's clearly not happy. Just when he thinks he's out of view of the cameras, he absolutely lays into a plastic chair. Just destroys it with his bat. Except, of course, he wasn't out of view. This was seen and replayed many times. I'm sorry but I loved everything about that.

Samiuddin: Actually more than anything else, New Zealand need(ed) Ryder in their team to shed themselves of the "nicest guys in cricket" tag. I mean, yeah, of course, runs and stuff, but they need a guy in that side who does things like that.

Fernando: The New Zealand hill I will absolutely die on is that they would have converted one of their two World Cup finals into a win if Ryder was in the team. I don't blame the people who kicked Ryder out, really, because he's been given chances by many coaches in various continents - both domestic and international - and he's not managed to rein his behaviour in. But if Ryder had managed to improve the behaviour to juuust within that line, I think we would think of New Zealand as one of the great teams of the last decade, instead of just a very good one. And also just the thought of Williamson trying to captain Ryder - there could have been books written and films made just on that relationship.

Monga: I just feel cricket, especially the international variety, is very tough on someone like Jesse. It would have been a miracle if he had survived. Ross Taylor and Ryder were both discovered together. Neither came from a privileged background, but Taylor's privilege was that he had his act together. Mark Greatbatch, one of their earlier coaches, I remember, told me how Ryder was more skilled but Taylor was more rounded as a person. Ryder would throw up in the bin at the nets, Taylor would come home with a bottle of wine.

Samiuddin: Without knowing the details and insider stuff, was he so, so, so difficult to handle that they really couldn't find a place for him in the team at all? Or make it work somehow?

Fernando: They didn't throw him away lightly, tbf. They gave chances. And many people - agents, coaches, mentors - have tried various approaches and it's not worked out.

Samiuddin: I think that is the other point about these players, that they make so much of an impression, you're always left feeling somehow if the others - boards, teams, managers, agents - had just done something else/more he would have been okay.

Monga: More than anything, they also tell us that sometimes you have to accept things as they are. Especially when a team such as New Zealand does all it can get to keep you in. What joy it was to watch him in full flow. But it wasn't meant to be.

Samiuddin: Who was the other Kiwi?

Fernando: Okay, yes, enough Ryder. Someone who was at the other end of the spectrum in terms of temperament, but also glorious to watch in full flow. Guesses?

Samiuddin: Bond. The name is Bond.

Fernando: Nailed it. Like, Shane Bond with his yorkers.

Samiuddin: Bond is long gone as a bowler, but I feel like he's everywhere in the actions of so many modern fast bowlers.

Shane Bond, destroyer of Australia, failed by his own body Getty Images

Fernando: Huge influence on Tim Southee and Trent Boult.

Monga: Strike rate of 38 but couldn't play enough to get more than his 87 wickets.

Samiuddin: Adam Milne, Matt Henry - all their actions. Naseem Shah.

Fernando: And if we agree that aughts Australia had assembled the greatest ODI batting line up, Bond was the greatest destroyer of that top order. Seventeen matches v Aus: average of 15.79, SR of 21.4, economy rate 4.41 - there's no touching that in ODIs

Samiuddin: Bond, in a very different way, is the epitome of what Monga said earlier, about how it's just meant to be for some. No off-field issues (that I can think of), great guy to have in a team. But just had a body that couldn't sustain it.

Monga: In a way I agree, but you can continue working on the body, you can even come back as a bowler with less pace but more wiles, you can still cut yourself a career, but it is different with mental health.

Fernando: Bond just was incredibly, incredibly fragile, though. I'm not sure even turning himself into a medium-pacer - which he has said he was never interested in, btw - would have worked. There were unusual things as well: I remember he once went off the field in a match with a migraine and couldn't bowl, and caught absolute hell on talkback radio in New Zealand for being soft.

Samiuddin: Incidentally, Bond talked about the injuries stemming - ironically - from that action, in this great piece on him by Rahul Bhattacharya, at the 2007 World Cup. He talks here about losing a little of that pace.

Fernando: His last Test, which was a fantastic game against Pakistan in Dunedin, he blew them away with pace in the first innings, iirc.

Monga: It was a great Test. Akmal was unleashed in this game, right?

Fernando: Yes, Asif took 4 for 43 as well. Pity Ryder didn't play. It would have been the poster Test for everything we've talked about.

Monga: Ryder was a veteran of wistfulness by then.

Fernando: Fawad Alam was in that Test as well! Here's the wicket description from the first dig: "Bond's breathing fire here, he hits the deck hard from over the wicket, lands it short of a length on middle and Fawad barely had time to react and fend it off, he fails to drop his gloves down and the ball shaves his glove before landing safely in McCullum's hands."

Underrated, but celebrated: would Ryan Harris have had a greater impact had big names not kept him out of the Australian team early in his career? Getty Images

Monga: While sticking with fast bowlers, I have a name that I am not sure you will agree with. It is more down to having been kept out by big names throughout his 20s, but what we saw of Ryan Harris in 27 Tests in his 30s (also cut short by a back surgery, which he went to after taking a last wicket in the dying moments of a momentous Test) makes me wonder with a little disappointment what a great bowler we lost out on.

Samiuddin: Absolutely, only four more Tests than Asif.

Monga: And what an Asif-like bowler too.

Samiuddin: But I also feel with Harris that Australia celebrated him so much, that he was part of so many big moments against South Africa and England - big series - that he kind of lived a full career… which, of course, he never did in reality

Fernando: And I guess that the injuries came at an age when you expect those things to happen to a quick. Whereas Asif's exit seemed so premature.

Monga: His wrist admittedly did less magic than Asif, but his accuracy was stifling. He lived by the Asif philosophy: if I beat the bat, I should be hitting the pad or the stumps; if I take the edge, it should go to keeper or first slip

Samiuddin: Except, quicker than Asif. Always felt Stuart Clark was the more like-for-like Asif bowler

Monga: We love Asif for the highlights reels his wickets make it to, but arguably Harris has provided us with better seam porn. Have a look at this. This also reminds me, I recently saw Harris seam a ball in the IPL. That I would never have believed had there been no video evidence.

Samiuddin: Asif seamed some balls in the IPL too - 2008.

Fernando: What a trip it is now to think that Pakistan players actually took part in the IPL.

Monga: The greatest loss to cricket: Pakistan players missing the IPL.

Samiuddin: Snap.

Fernando: Genuinely, though, they would have changed the dynamic of that tournament so much. And you suspect the IPL would have changed Pakistan cricket as well.

Samiuddin: But the PSL may not have happened also... Or maybe it would have happened earlier.

Fernando: Umar Gul would have cut it up.

Samiuddin: And Sohail Tanvir as the greatest T20 bowler ever?

Chris Lewis: the blueprint for Jofra Archer? Getty Images

Fernando: Lasith Malinga would still have crushed it, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Samiuddin: I know I'm being old and boomer-y but Malinga in Tests, I feel, is an unfulfilled thing.

Monga: Malinga would have made a bowler of great spells in Test cricket. Innocuous for long whiles, but then a switch would flick on and he would run through three-four guys in one three-over spell on a humid day at the SSC.

Samiuddin: Yes and that three-over spell would have turned the day, the Test, even the series.

Fernando: If you can hustle a fantastic batsman with a bouncer in Galle, you're a decent bowler. But then with Malinga, it's kind of a double-edged sword. You don't have Malinga if you don't have that action. And you probably can't have that action and a long Test career. What makes him is what breaks him. Unlike, say Bond, who could conceivably have had a long career with a better body.

Samiuddin: Before starting this I had made a list of all the players that would feature here: Shaun Tait, Vinod Kambli, Mohammad Zahid, Asif, Ryder, Wasim Raja, all of South Africa before return, Chris Lewis…

Chris Lewis, man. I watch Jofra and I get strong Lewis vibes. Not in terms of the pace or anything, but in how easily he did things, without showing any signs of the strain and toll it takes on a body. Though who knows how quick Lewis was - no speed guns in his time and he was never celebrated for his pace. But he could bat a bit, great in the field, loose and easy action.

Monga: Did we get enough of Steve Harmison?

Samiuddin: Yes. Harmison played 63 Tests.

Fernando: But I think we've mostly exhausted this chat now. We're dipping into the '90s, and now discussing players who actually had decently long careers. We'll be talking about Kevin Pietersen next. I've just sat in on too many conversations in England about what a loss KP was. And he played 104 Tests.

Samiuddin: In England if you don't play 150 Tests, you ain't nothing.

Monga: And now the rhinos have him. Poor rhinos. Though I think he is actually doing something for them.

Fernando: He's probably trash-talking them behind their backs. Anyway, I think this conversation has degenerated. Like the actions of so many fast bowlers gone before their time.

Osman: Yeah, I think we're done.

Fernando: Let's call it. I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to put on some Asif highlights reels, eat huge quantities of ice cream straight from the tub, and cry myself to sleep.

[piccolina-mina]

are you not uncomfortable with shadowhunters bringing up jewish issues the way they did though? jews are an ethnoreligous group, we should be played by other jews which Rosende isn't, then you have that actor make holocaust reference? & i noticed that while Maia currently gets racially profiled Simons example wasn't that he had faced antisemitism, it was something that his ancestors faced way back when, even though jews make up

Hmm. I apologize nonny if anything I say after this comes across offensive. It’s not my intention at all.

Are non jewish people not allowed to bring up the Holocaust? Isn’t that more problematic? I would think so. I’m not Jewish, so my opinion on all of this isn’t coming from someone who has the right to be offended about it, but that being said, no I wasn’t uncomfortable, and I genuinely don’t understand why anyone would be, so help me understand.

Admittedly, I’m more controversial around these parts when it comes to some of these issues. While I loathe cultural appropriation, I don’t see every little thing as cultural appropriation. ScarJo playing Asian characters is unacceptable to me. However, I wasn’t opposed to Arden Cho playing Mulan despite being Korean instead of Chinese because she would have been incredible in the role. I feel Theo Rossi shouldn’t have to be intentionally vague or submit an Ancestry DNA to assuage some folks because his racially ambiguous quality keeps him typecast in Latino, biracial, black roles. I do have some issues with the Latino/Italian thing, however there unfortunately is an issue with dark skinned white people ONLY being offered POC roles because of their appearance, and when it’s all they’re offered to the point of them also being typecast almost to the degree of actors of color, I don’t fault them for taking them.

I think there is a line that has to be drawn to some degree. It would have sucked if Denzel Washington was deprived of playing Malcolm x because he was darker and not Muslim. Or if the women from Quantico and Mr. Robot were ridiculed because they don’t really wear hijab. Or if Harry couldn’t play Magnus because he’s not bi and Matt because he isn’t gay. While it’s ideal in most cases to have a specific person play a specific role, I can’t go along with getting upset for every single instance especially with representative roles. I remember there were people upset that an actual blind man wasn’t specifically cast to play Matt Murdock…I mean, I can’t always take it that far.

One of my favorite things about Shadowhunters is its color blind /color conscious casting. Aside from a small faction of fandom, I love that no one really cares that Izzy is a Latina with two white brothers and I believe middle eastern parents.

When news broke out that Alberto was playing Simon one of the most common reactions was “But he doesn’t look Jewish.” As if every Jewish person looks the same. As if there are no Jewish POC. Do I understand why you’d prefer a Jewish person playing a Jewish character? Yes. But a Latino Jewish character is significant, important representation as well even if the actor isn’t Jewish himself. Somewhere, Jewish POC get to see a character that looks like them and has the same faith and that’s not something to snuff at either because it’s even less common to see. I can understand if they cast a Latino man and then didn’t make a Canon Jewish character Jewish after that. They didn’t do that though. Color blind casting meant the best person got the position and he just so happens to be Latino. That’s important too.

Why was the Holocaust used and not something current? Well, I don’t understand your issue here either tbh. For starters, Downworlders were being tagged, tracked, and locked away… Why wouldn’t the Holocaust be brought up when it was a parallel to it? Oddly enough sometimes privileged people can understand the heinous nature of something currently happening when you can tie it to something barbaric in the past. They can understand the atrocities of slavery when they’re dismissive of current police brutality. They can comprehend the atrocities of the Holocaust when they can be dismissive of swastikas being graffitted on places of worship. That’s why people can draw parallels to the current Muslim ban/registry efforts with the Holocaust…its jarring, it reminds people that we aren’t so distant from our past.

Plus, again, I’m not Jewish and I’m assuming from what you said that you are, and I don’t want to come across like I’m speaking for or over you as a Jewish person. You mentioned that about the Holocaust being so long ago, like that matters. I would think that it doesn’t. It reminds me of the people who say the Holocaust, or slavery, or internment camps, or the civil rights movement were so long ago like it has no bearing on the people it affected, even those generations removed. Simon is a proud Jewish man, if anything his bringing up the Holocaust was a reminder to someone like Clary that even though she may forget his Jewish, he never can. His past, his family history and experiences it all has shaped and molded him into the man that he is. He carries that with him. His being the product of relatives in the Holocaust would still affect him. How could it not? It doesn’t matter if it was “long ago” the influence is still there and will be for generations.

Your implication is that the Holocaust isn’t a current enough issue that affects him, but I personally don’t agree, because that’s something that you still carry with you. There are studies that explore generational PTSD, particularly as it affects oppressed people, and it makes sense. I disagree that because the Holocaust happend so long ago it’s not something that currently affects him. And I feel it was the best parallel to draw in this situation.

Maia mentioned profiling and police brutality, but Alisha added that line in herself. Without it, it would have been subtle and implied. But there are tons of things she could have addressed not just that, right? She’s a passionate, protective woman who is treated like the angry black woman. Kind hearted, cool headed Luke dealt with Imogen basically projecting on to him the dangerous, angry temperamental black man trope. Dot could have mentioned tons of things as it related to her race, but she referenced the Salem witch trials (which also happened a long time ago, much longer) and that geared more towards gender than race. Raphael referencing being defanged and experimented on could have been a reference to so many things… Tuskegee, the native Americans, anything from currently, to 10,20, 80, 100 years ago. Part of highlighting that people haven’t quite evolved is reminding people of the past. I didn’t see the problem.

So, no, I wasn’t uncomfortable with Simon’s holocaust scene. I was proud. I was emotional. I was touched. I was moved.

And the rest of it, my response is similar to that of Malec shippers who didn’t respond well to that Jaia scene. I totally understand when people get tunnel vision about their specific representation, but sometimes you have to consider the significance of someone else’s too. Jaia is hetero, but its also interracial showing a black woman being revered and sexually desired which is pretty damn important too. Alberto isn’t Jewish I presume, but he is a Latino playing a latinx/Jewish character and that’s pretty damn important too. Sorry for being long winded. Hope that covered it. Apologies if it came across offensive.