#also something i didnt include but need to put out there. it mentions that the motorbike ron gives corey is ?? corey's dads ??

[hersweetrevenge]

corey commentary: the official making of h40 🎃🔪

honestly i feel like this book really helped me refocus my thoughts on corey and brought me back to basics for the first time in a while.

i've split this post into a few specific topics based on my own thoughts and the book details that i found most interesting. a lot of this i've talked about before but i'm bringing it back with evidence babyyy.

WARNING for suicide and suicidal ideation, murder, manipulation, mental health issues and crises, and passing mentions of child abuse.

costume

corey's costume was developed in reverse (pg. 176), starting with his final look, the leather jacketed bad boy, and working backwards to the opening scene look, the good boy on his way to the sock hop.

i love that this was the process, i think that's so interesting from both a design and character perspective. taking him from what he became to what he was? it feels sort of like they were centring nostalgia in a way, starting with who corey became and then looking back to who he was (and who he will never be again). it kind of makes his downfall even more heart-breaking to me.

rohan mention's wearing coreys clothes in his real life and how no one even looked at him (pg. 184). in the commentary he also mentioned wearing corey's glasses a lot to get into the character mindset.

very interesting that we have tried and tested proof that corey can literally fade into the background and go unnoticed. it must be a combination of trying to be visually more plain but also a very quiet demeanour. but then you have the angle of corey being forced to reduce himself to as small and quiet and invisible impossible. i like the way corey both wants to be invisible (to avoid confrontation) but also desperately wants to be seen and heard and believed and understood by someone.

frame of mind/suicidal ideation

rohan mentions that there's an element of corey having not been able to kill himself before, because it was too hard to do, but looking into michael's eyes he realises he can just "call it quits" and let michael do it. then, after he is spared by michael, it gives him "permission" (pg. 198)

i think it makes a lot of sense though that michael letting him go is what tips corey over the edge, maybe reinforcing his own buried guilt (if michael let him go, he must be evil, right?) and making it feel a lot easier to make horrific choices (murder) while also making his emergency exit plan (suicide) feel easier too, if he wanted to.

corey being "tainted" by the shape because he's so close to being that anyway (pg. 172).

i don't personally believe in evil as an actual supernatural force in these movies, but corey is definitlel portrayed as more susceptible to michael's influence, even if michael does actuall demand anything of him.

i think @/slutforstabbings was the one who mentioned this to me. but when corey meets michael he is mentally and physically more susceptible to reacting irrationally in a very real-world sense. he has a history of abuse, experienced a major trauma (the accident), been under intense stress (the party), and had a recent head injury (the fall from the bridge and smacking his head in the sewer). these factors all contribute to a mental health crisis and drastic change in personality.

i feel like this confirms that corey was likely headed for (possibly another) breakdown in the future, but the events of the party/meeting michael just triggers it sooner.

emotional control

rohan mentions corey purposely doesn't feel anything since the accident (pg. 188).

this might have been my favourite detail that gets mentioned. i've always thought that corey's way of surviving post-accident was to just shutdown completely and switch off all his emotions. it's interesting to know that rohan was playing him that way.

and also a lot of the time when corey does feel strong emotions, they are turned in on himself to try and keep them private, like his anger at terry results in him hurting himself (accidently) with the milk bottle, or him regularly climbing over the bannister at the allen house but not being able to let go while during the day he thinks about some outward expression of rage through the blowtorch at the garage.

the mirror scene symbolises the first time corey feels in control (pg. 198).

i've written about this a lot before, but i very much agree that the mirror scene is a moment of processing both "what the fuck just happened?" but also "this is what control feels like". corey's whole breakdown, starting from killing nelson, is about regaining control over his own life, even if it means un-restraining himself and doing horrific things.

killings

ryan turek (exec.) and paul logan (writer) specifically state how ends is essentially a revenge movie, with corey's kills start as revenge killings, but if he survived the kills would get more random (pg. 167).

i feel like this highlights the way that corey's connection with the shape is cut short, unlike michael who had it for decades. the shape (or the idea of it) lets corey get his revenge, but after that he could keep going, he'd pick up momentum and he wouldn't be slowing down.

this seems like this is pointing towards killing being corey's method of control rather than some more direct desire to kill.

he becomes "addicted" to violence and he knows it (pg. 191).

"addicted" is a super interesting word choice and i feel like it fits perfectly. corey starts with revenge, he has his reasons, but as time goes on he could find a reason for anyone if he wanted to.

if corey survived ends and got away, he'd be living his own life for the first time ever. i think there are a lot of things he'd over indulge in, and killing being an addiction plays heavily into that -- there would be nothing to tell him to stop.

high priest!corey

rohan specifically describes corey leading doug to the sewer as him bring michael a "sacrifice" (pg. 206).

vindication !! @/slutforstabbings once said to me, while we were talking about the ritualistic nature of corey and michael's relationship and killings, that corey replaces nelson as michael's high priest, as the person who brings the sacrifices and channels michael to the outside world.

manipulation

rohan says that corey "plays" at being the shaking little boy again when he jump scares laurie while waiting outside for allyson (pg. 204).

i love this, because i fully believe corey thrives on manipulation. i think corey is fundamentally a good person anyway, but in dealing with joan he knows how to make himself inoffensive and agreeable, and i think he knows that that "character" is a safe bet to keep people happy.

and the novelisation confirms that this almost works !! laurie thinks he's just awkward and still upset from the night before. the thing that makes laurie doubt how genuine he is, is that she can see how he changes -- she can see the way he switches from one demeanour to another. proof right that he can play at being who he needs to be in the moment.

but then, by the time laurie shoots him, corey really is just a scared little boy who is in way over his head and unequipped for the situation he finds himself in (pg. 226).

corey is unprepared and unpractised -- he doesn't have the experience that michael has in bouncing back. he isn't michael. he's fucked up big time, his plan has fallen through, and he's backed himself into a corner. all the terrible things he's done, everything he's been through, the taste of control -- it's all for nothing is laurie can get the upper hand on him like this.

he's scared and out of his depth but he's dangerous, but corey ends the film the same way he starts it, in a situation he has no control over and with only himself to blame. only this time he's having the last word, he's going to do what he could before and he's going to take laurie down with him.

relationships

rohan said ronald is "the loveliest thing" in corey's life, and that the gesture of giving the motorbike is "beautiful [but] manly and detached" (pg. 182), which is a way more sympathetic view than i have.

this is a wayyy more sympathetic view of their relationship than i have. i do like this angle though, the idea that corey and ronald did have some sort of relationship but that neither of them can express it very well, that they're taking the stereotypically masculine route of small gestures and not a lot of words. which seems at odds with what corey really needed from the only male role model in his life, but it's kinda sweet that corey must like ronald enough for him to be a good part of his life, rather than just neutral.

maybe the takes about ronald being a good stepdad aren't wrong 👀

corey falls for allyson most deeply when he sees how she is on the edge just as much as he is (pg. 215).

this made me wonder if allyson and corey could have ever been together without the events of the movies? if they still met by chance, would they get along? would the attraction still be there?

their relationship is based on parasocial affection and shared similar traumas, there's a certain emotional intensity there that translates to them making rash decisions and commitments that i don't think they would otherwise.

joan's last words (in an even more extended death scene) are begging "michael" not to hurt corey (pg. 222).

joanne baron has talked about joan's motivations and perspective in some interviews, so this scenes lines up very well with what she's said previously. joan has never treated corey like a person, he's an object for her to control, but her two moments of concern for him (when he comes home the morning after the party and her death scene) come from a seemingly natural and genuine place.

also, the biggest factor that made me loose my mind over this: she doesn't know it's corey killing her. she begs this masked murderer not to kill her son, not know that it is her son beneath the mask 💀

she's begging someone not to hurt corey after years of being the one who has hurt corey. it's too late to turn back, it was always going to end like this, but can you imagine what went through corey's mind in that moment? that his momma wanted him to be safe but never made him feel safe when she had the chance.

me whenever there is a direct quote from rohan in this book:

[j-esbian]

it’s all good to say everyone should have public holidays off, but what about when you want to go to the movies on that holiday because now you don’t have to work? what if it’s presidents’ day and you need groceries? what if you need medical attention but it’s flag day? what if you need childcare, for any reason, on mlk day?

essential workers are some of the most overworked among us and deserve relief as much as anyone else but it’s just not enforceable for everyone to get every holiday off

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hi Aquarius!

I had an idea I wanted to share with you: SAGU creator reader who likes to make little bits and bobs for their acolytes. For example, Childe vaguely mentions that his gloves are starting to wear out? The creator crochets or knits him a new pair-Can’t have his fingers getting chilled in the Snezneyan snow now can we?

(I just wanna give my skrunklis lil gifts and make them happy is all :3)

(Also, could I possibly be 💌anon?)

WHOFOHNJDFjhkbfsgddf Genuine keyboard slam i just kinda slammed my hands down in excitement ahem-

That would be a lovely idea anon, yes very much so indeed,

so im like hella into giving ppl useful but still aesthetic/pretty gifts, like i dont want the things i give ppl to be things that get donated/thrown away (when i genuinely care abt a person)

Also IF I DIDNT RUN U OFF FOR BEING SO LATE YES HELLO U CAN DEFINITELY BE 💌 ANON THATS SO CUTE I LOVE THAT EMOJI-

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cutenss

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each

Stars: Everybody from elements Pyro, Electro and Anemo! Plus Aether/Lumine/Dainsleif!

Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen + Up Audiences Advised, light cussing

& Trigger Warnings: None Known.

SO U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANSSSS

THIS IS MY JAMMMMM, MY PB&J BITCHEESSSS GET REKTT

☆

AHAHAHAHA- YOU’RE ALL GETTIN SPAMMED WITH JUST GIFT IDEAS I HAVE FOR WHAT TO GIVE THEM- YOU DO NOT HAVE CHOICE. YOU WILL BE GIVING GIFTS TO THE TEYVATIANS, THEY DESERVE GOOD THINGS. SUCK IT.

EDIT 9/19/23: WTF HELLO??!!! 1000+ NOTES??!?! THANK YOU SO MUCH?!!!!!! <3

PART 1 (you're here!) / PART 2

ELEMENTS HERE: Babygirls, Pyro, Electro, Anemo

☆

Babygirls:

Aether = The most beautiful, amazing, sleek, and functional pretty hairpin that is also a knife! So he can have that badass moment of unsheathing it from his hair and having a surprise weapon and showing off his long hair, acted all shy when you gave it to him, he doesn’t get gifts often, all the birthday letters were for you afterall, i feel like you deffo have walked in on him miming taking it out all badass for practice lol

Lumine = bless her, you handed her this gift and she just looked up at you and u swear didnt blink or look away for a full minute. Then she nearly crushed you to death squeezing you, god she’s muscular, as you made a sort of self-care kit, including her favorite scents you added to like blank soaps/face masks, and towels you initialed with “Lumi”, she deserves a break afterall (and she thinks you deserve it too, and subtly tries to get you to join like *“*oh this is so sweet, something for us to do together”)

Dainsleif = sad little man deserves happy little things, you make him a weighted blanket, in these blankets it’s usually like sand or something that is put into little like quilt squares so it evenly distributes weight, but you used that water from the fountain that soothes Khaenri’ah people’s curse instead. He literally went speechless when you gave it to him. He has not had a single night of insomnia since. He would literally do anything for you, and literally stole you off to the side after a few nights of good sleep to tell you this lmao

Pyro Allogenes:

Diluc = Another bitch who just needs a break, you steal him off one evening and tell him you need a hilichurl camp wiped out, and there’s a cryo mage so you need him, bc thats the only way this workaholic is actually gonna drop everything and actually take care of himself, you have to deceive him, and then surprise him by showing him a hot spring you found. Teyvat has a lot more things to it now that it’s in real life, and that includes natural hot springs apparantly, and you’ve already prepped the place too, with his favorite non-alcoholic drinks, some indulgent foods like chocolate and fruits, and a soft robe. Man’s went wide eyed and nearly fell in LMAO, and then, looking away all pink, said he couldn’t accept this… unless you joined him.

Amber = a pair of comfy shoes, with baron bunny decorated all over them, like you sewed patches over them to personalize it, and the insoles are GODLY good, so she can run to Sumeru at this rate and her feet will feel like she went for a light jog! Some Mondstadt citizens, and knights tbh, are honestly a little afraid of Amber now bc her feet aching was sometimes the only thing stopping her from going 100% all the time lol

Bennett = a lucky charm, yes, yes, I know, basic, but it’s different coming from you! You’ve given him a bandana to wear as a neckerchief around his throat (it’s unprotected and he’s that unlucky?!) and it fits great, you’ve made it from Liyue materials, and imbued it with geo energy, so it actually makes a small shield/barrier around his head lmao, he’s practically thanking you every week and telling you how it helped him that week 💀

Klee = a treasure hunt map you made! every little stop/treasure gives her some candy or a snack, plus the next instructions, and she insists you go with her, and drags you along lol, and you planted them within range of the Mondstadt so she’s not too far off, and the final treasure (bc u planned it so she was supposed to start at a certain time/get to the end in a few hours) she finds at late sunset, and it’s a type of challenge that u were able to make, (bc apparently being the “highest god” means u get dev access, like the teapot functions but more OP). It makes a rainbow of glowing fish appear as targets to better Klee’s bomb throwing skills, and to entertain her, she gives the most dramatic gasp ever, and is just vibrating telling you “The fishes! They’re so pretty! ‘Bedo said that you give the greatest gifts, and he was so, so, so SO right!! Thank you very much!!!” :D in her cute little voice and then proceeds to speedrun you a hug and then starts throwing bombs lmao

Xiangling = HOO BOY- she has nearly every cooking utensil known to man, thanks to her being a young famous chef, and bc her family’s restaurant makes good money bc of it, so it was hard to think of something for her, but you eventually made her a handwritten and sewn together recipe book (look up “how to make zine”, its very easy actually, theres one with sewing the paper and a smaller one with just folding). It’s full of all of your favorites from Earth and what you think could substitute here, and how it should taste. Xiangling literally took your hands and spun you bc she hates luxury stuff, and really loves and appreciates homemade gifts, it’s the first anyone’s heard of your homeworld’s food so it makes her feel special <3 (she will be constantly harassing you with a spoonful of food to try and see if it’s close)

Hu Tao = You remembered one of Shakespeare’s plays and wrote a rough screenplay for Yunjin to adapt, then took Hu Tao with you to see it! She loves poetry and singing, so she loves to see Yunjin play usually, but she hadn’t had the time lately bc of funeral spirit work, (u also brought Zhongli so she could have fun embarrassing him lol), and she literally made a whole bit/joke about getting down on one knee to marry you, which was promptly interrupted by said embarrassed adepti, people even clapped lmao

Xinyan = You made her an aweinspiring outfit to wear onstage, modeled after classic rockstars from your world, she nearly teared up at the sight of it, and then nearly took ur ear out bc she was getting so loud and excited, u try to convince her otherwise, but Xinyan refuses to wear it outside of big occasions like Lantern Rite or performances with Yunjin (looks like this, I tried very hard ok, check it: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/76631631152377154/)

Yanfei = Once again, a written book, or at least 20 rap songs for her to look through. This sounds weird, but she eventually hopes to see a future where people are just better at obeying laws and considers then she’d be out of a job. So, after seeing some of Xinyan’s performances, she decided her back up career would be a rapper. She will literally stop you every time she sees you and lowkey force you to hear her latest rap she’s made, partially inspired from the Earth ones you gave her a lot of the time! She literally talked your ear off for hours, and didnt realize that she linked arms with you at one point and made you both walk at least 3 miles around the port lol, very embarrassed but grateful for the gift, another person who really adores homemade stuff

Thoma = you sewed him a cute plushie of Taromaru, along with a little plushie tea cup set. He literally covered his mouth in shock, and turned away, were those tears?? Very carefully took his gift and nearly bent in half bowing and thanking you for the gift, and was cutely touchy all day, linking arms, guiding you by gently nudging your back in crowds, etc. You once woke him up out a day nap on accident trying to find him, and he walked out half-asleep clutching the plushie Taromaru and nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sight of you lol, all like “HIGH EMPEROR?! OH MY- Oh my gods- Uh- sorry, so sorry about that!” and then proceeds to immediately hide Taro behind his back all red in the face lmao, refuses to acknowledge it, will get even redder if you keep pressing him about it lol

Yoimiya = so Yoimiya canonically really loves to go out into nature and explore, and go for that sunset hike type of person! so you, once again assume all these thru tutorial or teyvat craftsmen help, made her a hammock! She’s apparently really bad about falling asleep outside, and since hammocks can be really lightweight and good for temperate weather (ive tried it, sleepin in a hammock for camping its kinda nice, as long as you dont fall out/toss and turn a lot in ur sleep), and you even added some extra ropes on the sides so she can tie it down and not upend herself while she’s sleeping (keeps the hammock from tilting). She literally squealed and dragged u all over Inazuma trying it out with you, and because she chats with her neighbors/community a lot, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU GOT HER A HAMMOCK, YOU PAINTED IT AND EVERYTHING, DID YOU KNOW YOIMIYA IS ONE OF THE ALLOGENES THAT GOT BLESS WITH A PERSONAL GIFT FROM THE ALL-GOD??!! - everyone in Inazuma near her house, including yoimiya

Dehya = so Dehya likes to upkeep personal hygiene as much as she can between her mercenary job roughness and the general battery of the desert. She also is known to stop by the market place to pick up makeup and other personal hygiene products! So you figured if she’s collected so many of those over time, she might just have a practical bag to carry them in, and you offer her a multi-pocket cloth bag (like for taking makeup when you travel bags) and also attach a mirror inside! She literally covered her face with her hands and Dunyazard lightly teased her for weeekkssss lmao, and the other guys in her mercenary group like “wowww, someone managed to tame the Flame Mane?” which just makes her more shy bc the God of ALL decided to HANDMAKE her a gift, and not just a frilly thing, an ACTUAL USEFUL PRETTY GIFT- she accidentally set her claymore alight when you finished explaining what it was and handed to her (it’s fireproof too)

Electro Allogenes:

Lisa = a decorated tea set! Specifically, you painted it her favorite color, with some of her favorite book quotes across the saucers and her favorite flowers across the teapot. She gave you the prettiest smile, and just “Oh cutie! For little old me? You’re a bit above a librarian like me, but I’ll still accept this with all the grace of a lady courted, haha!” insists on “trying them out” with you all the time, especially when you get too busy from the other allogenes <3

Fischl (they/them Fischl supremacy) = You made a book cover (like how some books will have the paper sleeve and the actual hardcover is just colored? like that) of Prinzessin der Verteilung, but looking a lot more like them rather then the old protagonist! They collectively lost their mind over it for literal weeks, and did the same for you for your most relatable protagonist! :D They insist you two start a fantasy book club now- NO they don’t care if you’re the All Fürst! That makes you all the more qualified for joining the elite literature society they’re starting!

Razor = a bunch of hair ties! You’ve made scrunchies, bows, clips, etc. for him to try and decorate his hair with, all of things he likes, like little wolf puppies, or Andrius’ but cuteified, little symbols of all his friends like little bomb design hairclips for Klee, a red four leaf clover for Benny, a purple rose for Lisa, a golden star for the traveler, and an eight pointed star, like the four-pointed one but with some flare in between its points. A prominent symbol apparently associated with you u found out :0, Razor is giving Barbara and Klee a run for their money bc of how cute he looks walking into town for Lisa’s lessons with all this cute little clips and hair ties and braids in his hair now <3

Keqing = you know. you know EXACTLY what to give her. Plushies of cute animals or creatures in or around Liyue, like the little snow foxes from Dragonspire, a tiny oceanid, the small geovishaps, etc. Keqing doesn’t care if you’re a god, remember! So you better swear to never tell a soul you made her these!! …she sleeps with them too.

Raiden Shogun (puppet) = what to give a cold hard b*tch? …a break. you talk to Ei and make her give the puppet some off days, and you also may or may not have bullied Ei for being a hermit, so she can explore and learn more about herself, instead of being forced into the image, literally, of her god. She tries to write you months in advance for making plans on her days off so you can join her!

Ei (god) = an open window bc she’s a hermit, i mean of course you bring her out on “updates” (she weirdly choked a little over tea when you presented this idea to her, “Ahem- cough- a date? Oh, as in getting more familiar with the world, yes of course,” you basically pull out a map and take her to other countries so she can see how the other gods are doing these days and finally do something new, she is overwhelmed but in a good way? And she's especially willing to do it if you keep calling them that, these “up-dates”

Yae Miko = you were honestly kind of intimidated by giving Yae Miko a handmade gift, it just seemed like she would like something of high quality, which your gifts weren’t always guaranteed to be. So instead, you didn’t. You made a cool little picnic, and in remembering her love of stories from her lore as a kid, you brought some of your world’s stories to show her, the classics, then any favorites of yours, and some you thought she might like, and read them all to her about once a week. You both talk about and discuss the book and let Yae nitpick it and try to give her more context for books like Shakespeare in hope to answer all her detailed questions about the stories. Yae was so fucking smug (and secretly so in love) that she wrote a story for Yae Publishing House about it… “Joining a Book Club with the Akitsu Mikami, a Romance Novel” 💀

Sara = damn another busy woman, you steal her away with the promise of “needing a body guard” and she immediately answers and drops everything (u made sure to choose a slow day, dw ur not a rude god) andddd you’ve got her! Sara literally just stood there in shock when you showed up at your meeting place with homecooked food, specifically new recipes from your world, and some recipes from Xiangling! She would not stop stuttering out thanks yous the entire time, and fumbled with her chopsticks constantly, and she ate a lot, and even shyly asked if she could take some of it with her for later, now anytime you mention food around her she unintentionally starts looking at you with puppy dog eyes, (baby crow eyes??) even if the rest of her posture is perfect/gives nothing away lol

Beidou = A hand woven wine cask holder! a bit more solid so you can paint some designs on it, and you painted the whole crew, with Kazuha in the crow’s nest and Beidou is the biggest figure on it (stylized, u arent trying to paint a renaissance artwork here) and you even put her name on it “Captain Beidou” :) You were rewarded with a tall muscular woman squeezing you with her muscular arms, Beidou only puts her best wine/sake bottle in it, and only uses it for special occasions! she may or may not have had to make sure and hide it in her Captain’s quarters so other pirates won’t steal it, since everybody on the seas heard about the All Mighty giving her a personalized gift, but dont worry! She’s a pirate captain, she’s used to defending her most prized treasures from others <3

Shinobu = a spa day for another overworking woman, you made her another mask and hair tie! They still match her of course, but they also subtly have that eight point star symbol you’ve had associated with yourself before (like the four point but with a little flare), and she literally went so red, she hid behind Itto for a second. who helped morally support her enough to try it on, and it’s definitely her most comfortable mask!

Cyno = you were a little… embarrassed to make this one, but Cyno mentioned wanting it so… You made a TCG card of yourself. With the world in your hands as you hover in the middle of a solar system, you paint yourself giving a small smile down at Teyvat’s world cupped in your hands. One of the symbols they associate with you, the eight pointed star, not equal points, but rather a four pointed star with embellishments, said symbol glows and dangles from a necklace you wear, above it all. You swear he stared at it for a solid minute without blinking, and when you initially offered it, Cyno held it like it was spun glass. He gently laid it on a table nearby, his eyes never leaving it as he got out his deck, and put the card of you, on the very top. The mahamatra then gently set it down, and then gently hugged you and picked you up off your feet a bit (when you said maybe you were too heavy for this, he just raised an eyebrow, and that’s when you remembered that trailer of him throwing a body-builder man, one-armed, over his shoulder. He easily lifted you and set you back down. 💀)

Dori = A herb garden. Strange, but Dori’s sister has a lot of medical issues, and the herbs can be hard to come by, even for Dori, you didn’t tell her that you read some parts of her life, but when she saw the planter box, she knew. You had ventured far and wide, all over Teyvat, and the stuff you had came with you! so you put one of every herb you had or went out and got some because you’ve been exploring Teyvat anyway. And for once… you made sure no one was around, Dori teared up. She carefully set the box full of lively plants aside, and you were in the middle of explaining how to take care of them when she just, wrapped her smaller frame around your lower legs. You squatted down to hug her back :’)

Anemo Allogenes:

Venti = another book you made (look up “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) that you filled with all the lyrics to all your favorite songs, and some classics! The bard was ecstatic because he technically had vague knowledge or recognition of most of Teyvat’s songs, but songs from another world didn’t count, hehe! …he may or may not have lightly guilt-tripped you into trying to sing or hum some of the tunes or melodies of the songs, “I need to hear the melody so I may play it for you for eternity, your highness!” That’s his gift back, is that now you can get a Venti medieval sounding cover version of any song you like lmao

Sucrose = you’ve made another book (bought in Teyvat or made, check out “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s easy so I think you could feasibly handmake it!) and filled it with as much information as you can on how things like electricity works, luckily you can still retrieve information from Earth thanks to Albedo managing to somehow get you a signal?? You don’t wanna know, but point is, she’s literally spiraling. It’s been days, Albedo had to be the one to drag her out of the lab and eat, while you are starting to doubt if your gift did more harm then help… as soon as you voice these thoughts to Sucrose she nearly shook your head off from shaking your shoulders so hard while she ranted about phones, telephone poles, paved roads and she actually offered books back in exchange, for leveling allogenes up, as long as you told her more about “Those ships that go underwater again?? Please, Your Highness???” cute puppy dog eyes but worse bc she’s got cute glasses on too, oh no-

Jean = another workaholic woman who just needs a break, god why are there so many of them?? Your first thought was a spa day, but you like to think you can do better than that. In fact, she’s had a pretty heavy load since she was a kid trying to uphold the Gunnhildr clan’s name/knighthood, so you decide that instead of spa day, you should have a fun day! So you decide to take her out some days for some fun around Mondstadt (and recruit Venti to help do things like boost the winds for extra fun), like shield surfing! (look up Breath of the Wild shield surfing video if you dont know what i mean), it's something a lot of young knights do, and it’s perfect for Mondstadt’s hilly landscape! Other things like flying kites, or even rerouting all her work for part of the Windblume festival so she could enjoy it more! THEN you kidnap her all over again, and Barbara, to go to Fontaine! What better way for her to have genuine fun than getting a break to see and have fun with her younger sister and go see a colorful circus/fair? Jean was literally just a constant stream of “thank you your majesty! my gracious god, thank you- this is too much-, All-Fürst I am forever indebted to you for this!” and ur just like :/ Jean that’s the whole point of a gift is that you aren’t indebted to somebody-

Xiao = a friendship bracelet :) since he likes jewelry, and he likes you, it's perfect! and u made it match his necklace. you’ve also put that same water from the fountain that soothes the Khaenri’ah’s curse, and put it in there, and it actually lessens his karma, so for the first time in about 2 centuries, Xiao the Yaksha, can actually sleep through the night. You weren’t looking, but when you turned away to show him your sketches or plans for how to craft it, he sort of, reached out. You felt his hand warm on your wrist before it retreated, you could already feel the callouses, as the small weight of a bracelet was wrapped around your hand, his return gift, so u guys could match 👉👈 Xiao breathes out what sounds like all those years of pain in one shaky, relieved, “…thank you” (he did all that while you were turned around in your bag too, he was too shy to look at you when he put it on lmao)

Kazuha = “So this is what you’ve been up to lately, hm?” Kazuha’s been kind and laidback enough that he’s one of the allogenes who quickly dropped the formal titles luckily. He’s been seeing you sneak around and present your gifts to the others… and he came prepared in case you came to give him something too! Before you can even get out, “Hey, Kazuha, do you have a minute? I’ve got something for y-” boom. He’s beat you to it, he’s saying the same damn thing, and pulling out his gift for you. It’s a lovely Inazuman outfit, decked out in your favorite color, it’s like if you were an Inazuman character yourself- You just accept it half in shock, while Kazuha gives this small smile, but u can see the smug little look in his eyes, that little shit he really prepared a countermove- HE EVEN WROTE YOU REALLY SWEET POETRY AND EMBROIDERED IT INTO SOME OF THE INSIDE HEM LINES LIKE THE COLLAR -//////- ← you rn as Kazu’s all fucking smug, you end up just being like “take ur crummy gift u little shit” and nearly throw it at him lol, sweet asshole that he is, catches it anyway, and you’ve made him new hair ties, some minimal clips that look like maple leaves (like felt fabric stuck onto the clip bit) and the new hairtie is more like a scrunchie with a pretty red knot on top, your own symbol of an eight-pointed star, like an extra four-pointed star not the star of david lmao, sits in the center of the traditional japanese knot. He wears it nearly all the time, and mentions making you one to match (>:/ sweet considerate little shit he is)

Sayu = you’ve made her a quilt! stitched together from all sorts of cute fabrics, so it still matches her color scheme, she wraps up in it now before going into that balled up tanuki form lol, she insists you break it in with her and take a nap with her constantly lmao, and you give in even if you dont always sleep because of her tiny half-asleep smile (sayu knows the grip she has on you lol💔)

Heizou = a mystery novel a friendship necklace! you knew him and his friend had once had something similar, (they were more like matching river rocks or pebbles not jewelry you think) so you desperately hoped it wouldn’t be too offensive. The little shit who saw it coming #2, whereas Kazuha suspected you might offer him something, he didn’t have quite the same intution that Heizou did, so the detective knew you were going to give him something >:/ little snitch- he was so smug and teasing about it right up until he actually saw the necklace, it draped lower so it didnt look weird with his choker, and it was a pretty crystal you’d gotten from a riverbed (you didnt tell Heizou bc of the similarity w/his old friend, but he knew anyway) and he immediately looked the most serious you’ve ever seen him. His grin was less of a smirk and more of a smile when he processed what you gave him, and he wears it all the time :) Calls it his "God blessed good luck charm"

Scara/Wanderer = It was very hard, and you had to learn how from a blacksmith, but you finally got it! You made a small addon that latches onto the outside frame of his Vision, so instead of the sort of teardrop shape it has, you’ve made a heart shape. Since he sees the vision as his heart, you thought it’d be cute to actually see it that way! He was all like “I don’t wear jewelry, I already have some metal holding my Vision, are you trying to embarrass me?” You: “okay, well you don’t have to keep it, I’ll take it back-” Scara: “No? Shut up it’s mine now.” He went pink the first time he put it on, and he only wears it when it’s just you two, or you both and Nahida (bless her, she only lightly teased him, just enough to have him yell a little, not enough to discourage him)

Faruzan = a compass that points towards ruins/magical places, so she can explore all the ruins the desert has to give, and also, more importantly, guides her out, you deffo relied on a blacksmith for this one, and got Nahida to help you add the magic to it. She just got this, soft and bittersweet? look on her face, and redirected the nostalgic look towards you, bowed gently and thanked you, … you offered her a hug. Faruzan accepted, and you could feel the way she exhaled, relieved.

☆

(Throws this garbage at you really late and runs away to my bed)

Hope u liked literally any of that! ;-;

Also im not done as you can see! Im doing all the elements bc i love these skrunklies-

☆

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒️

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[m3gal3sbian]

ok adding to my tdwt alenoah ex situationship au

so, it all starts when noah meets alejandro during his run on total drama dirtbags. noah is still an assistant and alejandro is just like The Worst, but he's kinda nice to noah and noah is like. weird but ok.

alejandro chats him up before and during filming, noah just tries to be polite before he actually finds himself really enjoying talking to him.

they start hanging out a lot more, off set, on set, they share looks in the middle of filming when alejandro is on camera and makes a particularly fun joke or when another cast member says something stupid.

it's still the middle of filming, albeit neither of them are on camera, when they sneak off to a beach off set and share their first kiss.

it's like super uber romantic and noah is like omg. okay. work. lets try and be normal about this.

alejandro however is like internally freaking the fuck out. mans is like holyyyy yfuckckckkk i ruined everything even though everything is literally fine. but he's dealing with some shit so he's just a mess despite how much he actually likes this guy.

so they keep sneaking off together and making out n stuff but alejandro starts acting super weird. noah notices that he's starting to treat him kinda like everyone else and is closing himself off, so he obviously has to talk to him about it.

it goes horribly. the last day on set, noah confronts alejandro about it and alejandro doesnt rlly know what to say so he's like uhhhh i didnt like you that much anyway/you were clingy/we arent even dating, and noah is like FUCK this guy im leaving. and they both go their separate ways thinking they'll never see each other again.

too bad, chris mclean says, as he offers noah a shit ton of money to join total drama world tour.

and, obviously, noah is in no position to refuse the money, especially with his younger sisters needing to go to college not to mention the work chris put in negotiating his pay.

noah already knows who is finalized for the cast, now including himself.

so, he finds himself in a position where he not only has to deal with his ex situationship on a daily basis, but he has to work with him on the SAME TEAM.

alejandro doesn't know that noah was on season one, much less he's joining world tour, so he see's noah on the bus and is like FUCKKKKK!!!! literally he's like oh my god the love of my life i fucked up so bad i need him back RIGHT NOW

so he makes it his mission to win back noah, but he's still playing the game, so it's like a disaster of alejandro trying to play the game and play people but also trying to be honest with noah and get him to trust him again.

and noah doesn't really know what to believe, plus, he's still super mad. so he kinda just watches alejandro be stupid and then makes fun of him while his heart is beating super fast bc he likes that dork so much.

basically they're just disaster gays and are STUPID!!!

[vxlentinescookies]

Ohmygosh I loved your story for Longan Dragon! It really made me smile reading it 💖

Can I request a secluded fem!reader with Pitaya Dragon Cookie?

Reader is the daughter of Hollyberry Cookie, twin to Royal Berry Cookie. Maybe have her be the archivist for her kingdom?

You know how Hollyberry was away for a few years and left the kingdom to her son and his wife? And eventually Pitaya ended up spending time at the kingdom during her absence?

Perhaps this was the time when they meet the archivist. They constantly seek her out each time they go to the castle 🤭

→ ❛The Archivist❜

→ Pairing ; Pitaya Dragon Cookie x Reader → Quote ; ❛❛From then on, you’d become the bride of the Dragon.❜❜ → Genre ; Headcanon → A/N ; Sorry it took so long haha, but Im happy to know you liked the Longan x reader!! Hope you enjoy this one too!!

Royalhood was not your thing, instead, you sought a life hidden within books and tales of the kingdom you lived in. As the daughter of Hollyberry Cookie, you were held in high regard by many of your peers, including your brother, but you couldnt care less, being more comfortable inside the various halls of the archive inside of the castle walls. However, the very few times you did leave the castle halls, there would be people speaking about you everywhere, about who you were, what you did, and why you were rarely seen outside the castle. In between these curious people was none other than Pitaya Dragon Cookie, stumbling around the kingdom in a human disguise, they were drawn to you, called upon you, and soon enough, they'd form an unlikely friendship with you.

It all started with a trip and the dropping of the books you were carrying. While people around you gossipped, Pitaya helped you pick them up begrudgingly. They wanted to fit in for now, so, they'd do what most cookies did.

They introduced themselves as Pitaya Cookie, a traveler from far lands, and in your ingenuity you accepted that explanation, though closer observation would lead to realizing that there was much, much more than what meets the eye.

Curiosity would get the best of Pitaya, and eventually they'd be the one seeking to see you every time, it all starts with coincidental meetings in the city as Pitaya walks around and just so happens to stumble upon you, to Pitaya making those meetings happen.

They'd start being more bold, going to the castle to ask for you, and thats when it happens, when they realize who you are in truth.

“Why didnt you tell me you were Hollyberry’s daughter?”

They'd ask once, barging into the archives of the castle as you simply yelped and turned around to see them, surprised at the sudden intrusion. You’d lift an eyebrow and tell them that it was none of their business, and that it wasnt that important to be mentioned, you didnt like being in the spotlight, and that you knew something that they kept secret to the overall public: Their status as a dragon amongst cookies. This put Pitaya at a standstill, especially as feelings began to grow between them… and you.

They'd need to come to terms with the fact that you were Hollyberry’s daughter, and that you knew their identity since long before they even had the chance to tell you in their own terms… And of course they also needed to come to terms with the pesky feelings they felt for you.

It’d take them some time, so please be patient with them, as they prepare to court you. As a dragon, they're greedy, so them coming to visit you becomes more and more prominent, and their affections pass from platonic to slowly more romantic, to always having a hand on you.

They'd confess once, deep within the archives in the night where you wouldnt be found easily. They had been caught by the guards trying to sneak into the castle, so they took the run to try and not blow their cover as a dragon disguised as a cookie. 

From then on, you’d become the bride of the Dragon, while not known to the public, the both of you would be aware of this pact, this little celebration of love and affection. So, when they returned to being a dragon, know that they'll be waiting for you in the forests outside of the Hollyberry kingdom, always waiting, only for you.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

HIIIII I LOVE YOUR POSTS SO MUCH IF YOU DIDNT NOTICED I WAS ONE OF YOUR FOLLOWERS WHO LIKE YOUR POSTS THE EARLIEST ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT AND AMAZING DAY I HOPE YOU FEEL HAPPY AND JOYFULL! STAY SAFE :DDDD

Oh and btw i love love LOVED the last post you made :3 wasnt able to like it early since i was at school but can i please req a Zoro reader with a yan Yelan , Beidou , Alhaitham (all hail the ham XD) and Neuvillete (idk how to spell his name😒🙄) ANYWAYS PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME REMEMBER TO EAT REST AND DRINK WATER <<<333

Plus points if reader is in luffys pirate crew , has 3 swords and stronger than Beidou and Yelan 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

YOUR THE BEST POOKS EHEHHEHEHE<<<<333 :D :3

(stan chuu 🥰🥰🥰😱😱😱)

LOVE YOU POOKS 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍

i didn't wanna answer this one cause it's so cute and i wanted to keep it in my inbox foreverrrrr but i really appreciate the compliments ;v; <33 also i won't lie, Zoro is not one of my favorites from One Piece (i like greasy/deranged men) but i love his character, i was also binging some episodes while writing this and also this is pre-timeskip zoro cause that's where i'm at currently and brainrot be real but i hope you enjoy :D <3

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, implied being held against will, mentions of violence, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Yelan would be stressed out, not only do you wield three swords and seem to always get yourself in trouble, but you’re always getting lost. She’s at least glad that you can take care of yourself if the need arises but your obsession with being Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman is a little out of control. She prefers that you don’t go out without her because she knows you’ll get lost, but if you should otherwise she’ll be sure to send out someone to follow you, keeping her informed of your location and every move.

Yelan smiled to herself as you trained in the backyard. While your bizarre workout routine often had her a bit worried, she admired your dedication to her work. There was a lot about you she loved, but your dedication to your goals was what drew her in, reminding her of herself sometimes. She had to keep you on a tight leash though, your lack of direction often leaving you in places you shouldn’t end up in. She never minded though, it was just another of your adorable quirks, something she found keeping her on her toes. Yelan loved you and all your strange, unique quirks. 

Yandere!Beidou would find you very admirable, chasing so strongly after your ambitions as she had. While killing a Leviathan and becoming Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman are two different life goals, she thinks you're an amazing individual for chasing your dreams so wholeheartedly.

Beidou smiled down at you from the top deck, watching as you polished your blades. While she didn’t understand the need for three swords, she knew you enjoyed it and so she never questioned it. She was grateful you didn’t put up a fight when it came to traveling on the Crux with her, not that you ever seemed to know where they were headed. It just made it easier for her to keep an eye on you, with your habit of wandering off and getting lost just to end up in a fight that she later patches you up from. She loved you and all your quirks but sometimes she wondered how you came to be this way, it wasn’t something you seemed keen to talk about.

Yandere!Alhaitham would find a beloved like this both a blessing and a curse. He loves your passion for swordfighting, often fighting with you for a bit of practice. While you certainly outmatch him with just one sword alone, he uses his intellect to spar with you, learning your moves and putting you into positions where you have to adapt and overcome. He finds the exercise to be an enjoyable break from his work, allowing him to keep his physical skills as sharp as his mental ones. He refuses to let you go anywhere by himself though, worried you’ll get lost and run into trouble, again.

Alhaitham smirked as he blocked another attack from you, having memorized every attack you’ve ever used against him. It was times like this that he enjoyed most with you, a proper challenge between brains and brawn. While your workout routine was intense, his mind was equally as polished, leaving the duels between the two of you relatively intense. On afternoons where you weren’t dueling, it was common to go into town, with Alhaitham usually picking up books or other things at stores while dragging you along with him. Even if he knew you were going to nap the whole time he was gone, he still didn’t trust you to not fight something or get lost while he was gone. So instead he took you to every store with him, keeping a tight watch over you and oftentimes tying a ribbon gently around your wrists that connected to his belt.

Yandere!Neuvillette has no choice but to keep you locked up inside while he’s gone simply because he knows otherwise you’ll get lost and he’ll be seeing you in the courtroom for yet another fight you got into. He doesn’t mind it though, knowing that at home you only do a few things, train, polish your swords, and nap. And while he admires your dream to be Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman, he thinks you should settle for the strength you currently possess and simply stay here in Fontaine with him.

Unlocking the door and stepping in after a long day in court, Neuvillette isn’t surprised to see you napping in the livingroom. He will admit that the first few times he saw you napping, simply sitting on the floor up against a wall with all three swords nearby, he thought it was strange, insisting that you sleep in the bedroom or at least on the couch. Now though, he understands that it’s simply the way you are, quietly approaching and smirking as your eyes flicker open, looking up at the man. “Your senses are as sharp as ever I see.” Neuvillette offers you a hand, gently pulling you to your feet as you stretch, asking about his day. He enjoys the quiet life he has and he prefers to try and force you to comply than let you roam free, after all he’s doing this for the betterment of society. You’re simply too dangerous.

[soggyriceee]

Hello, I hope you are having a great day.

I haven't been able to get Slasher König and his reading wife out of my head for days. It's a scenario where he comes home from killing someone and asks his wife if she's proud of him, to which she says yes and some HUGE obscenity ensues.

Also if you can include something like the reader is madly obsessed with how strong König is (especially his arms) and how tall he is.

Thanks 🙇‍♀️

proud of me | Konig

sorry for how late this was, im trying to catch up on all the requests y'all

warnings: mentions of killing, oral(f! and m! receiving), somno, fingering, unprotected p in v, aggressive, dom to slightly sub Koni, cowgirl, missionary,

you didnt really expect him to do it. I mean, who would expect your husband to go and murder your ex? your stalker ex.

" he won't stop calling me from different numbers." you'd cry to him, trying to refrain from waking your 2 year old baby. you and Konig had been married for 4 years now, together for 7. you would think any other ex's you've had would be married or with their true love. right? not your ex.

every year around your birthday, he'd call. you'd assumed every year he changed his phone number, and then using fake ones after you blocked his first number. you hadn't told Konig about it until it hit the third year. the year you got married. thats when the calls would get worse. when you had your baby it was no better.

Konig was not happy when he had to figure out on your honeymoon when you ex managed to track you down in the middle of Cancun, threatening to kill himself if you continued to hurt him. you never imagined your honeymoon with the love of your life being completely ruined by someone from years ago. "Im so sorry, I never thought it would get this bad." you cried to him as the police took your ex off the beach.

from then on Konig always threatened to find your ex, fighting him or even killing him for doing this to you. to both of you. but you didnt want Konig to leave. not when you were in the process of getting pregnant with your second baby. "what if you go to jail and I get a positive result." you cried, pulling him arm back to the bed as he got up from the bed, moving towards the drawer the gun lived.

he agreed, not wanting to hurt you more than you were already hurting. but he also felt completely useless in this fight. your ex wouldn’t leave you alone. not until you and Konig divorced. but that wasn’t an option for either of you and you both were content on remaining together.

that’s when you decided to get a restraining order on him. Konig was delighted you came to that conclusion yourself and even offered to pay for the lawyer if you needed one. thankfully, there was no fee for getting a restraining order and the process was done quickly and in no time.

but, of course, why would your ex even care?

this only seemed to anger him more and made him more and more persistent on talking to you. he’d find you in parks when you’d take your now 3 year old to the park. Konig would come speeding over but of course he’d run before Konig could even get there. it angered Konig. to the point you two began to argue about it.

this led to lonely nights. Konig sleeping on the couch or in the baby’s room. you were left alone to keep yourself warm at night. the sex was different. it was full of anger and rage. and it only happened when Konig came home from a rough day, using you to get off and then returning to the living room to sleep. you felt disgusted with yourself. but also hurt at how he was letting your ex ruin you guys’ marriage.

the calls and texts from your ex never stopped. he still showed up at random places and threatening to kill you if you didn’t come with him. you’d call the cops now instead of Konig, knowing that he’d get fined or even put to jail for breaking the order. but the second it ended, he began to show up at your home.

Konig knew about it. but apart of him didn’t care anymore. he felt like it wasn’t going to stop no matter what. he felt completely useless. he didn’t feel like a man.

and so the lonely nights continued, the aggressive loveless sex continued. your baby was growing up in a house that had no love. and you tried your best. despite working longer hours now just to stay away from home. not even to simply stay away from your ex now. to stay away from Konig as well.

you began to lose weight, drastically. the lack of food and sleep was catching up to you and Konig noticed. he still loves you. you were his soulmate and never for a moment did he doubt that. he hated how he was treating you. but he didn’t know why he couldn’t just talk to you about it. not until he came into the room, the sight of you sleeping with your baby in your arms.

he crawled into bed beside you, wrapping one arm around your waist, swallowing back the tears of guilt but also happiness. he was finally right beside you in bed where he belonged.

“i’m going to make this right for us.” he whispered in your sleeping ear, kissing your cheek before shuffling silently out the bed and eventually out the house.

the next morning you woke up to a text from Konig. “gonna be out until late tonight. make sure the baby’s asleep when i get home. please. i love you.” of course the text worried you, and the spamming of calls did no good for you at all. he simply let it ring and go to voice mail. it was only 11:20 or so, when did he leave and for how long will he be gone?

the rest of your day was full of anxiety and stress. your baby was crying throughout the day, unable to find something to make themselves happy. you were unable to do the same.

every ten minuets youd check your phone to see if Konig said anything. a text, even a simple “hey i’m okay.” but you got nothing. that’s when it hit you that you also haven’t heard/seen much of your ex. maybe it was just a coincidence, nothing to be too worked up over. right?

as night fell, you were finally able to get your baby to relax and fall asleep in his own bed. it was 9 now, still nothing from Konig. plopping on the couch, you closed your eyes, swallowing back the tears that wanted to escape but couldn’t. he was coming home. you had to keep telling yourself that.

you hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep on the couch until you shuffled awake slowly, feeling something moving inside you. panicked, you woke up, looking right at the source of the feeling.

between your legs laid Konig, his head resting on your thigh, lips sucking on your clit while his ring and middle finger pushed in and out of you. his eyes were closed, moaning into your pussy as his tongue circled your clit, his lips sucking it right back into his mouth after.

your hand pressed against his head, pushing him alway. well trying. his eyes shot open, looking straight into your as his arm pulled you closer onto his face rather than farther. his fingers hit deeper inside you with that, a whimper leaving past you.

he placed his head back on your thighs, humming satisfied with your lack of fight. his tongue went back to playing with your clit, his eyes remaining on yours. you tried to hold back your moans, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of how much you were enjoying it. but he knew you were. no matter how hard he tried he knew exactly how to get you to finish.

almost as if it was a subconscious move, your fingers wrapped into his hair, tugging gently. “are you proud.. of me?" he moaned into your cunt, moving your fingers in a 'come here' movement. your toes curled instantly, pussy clenching around him. "f-for what?" you moaned out, still trying to fully take in what was happening.

he pulled your clit with his lip, sticking his tongue out to let it drool over your clit. "I took care of everything. we're gonna be so much happier maus." he said, taking his thumb to rub his spit against your clit.

your head that was tilted back quickly shot up, stuttering out "what?" he smiled and sat up, removing his shirt before standing. you took in his tall figure, every muscle curve on his arms and chest. he slid his hands to his pant buckle, undoing his buckle. slowly he slid his pants down, his member springing up.

the tip was red, dripping pre cum slowly. "me and you and our baby. were gonna be happy forever." he smiled, walking closer to you. you sat up, swallowing and looking up to the tall man. his hands moved to his hard on, grabbing it gently before tapping it on your face. "open." he breathed out. and so you did.

"I killed him." he said before stuffing your mouth, shoving all of himself in your mouth. your hands gripped his thigh, whimpering around him. his hands went behind your head, guiding you back and forth on his length. he groaned, digging his teeth into his bottom lip.

"a..are you proud of me maus? proud what I did for our family." he moaned, moving his hips back and forth against you. but of course you couldn't respond. how would you respond when your throat and mouth is stretched out by the size of him? so all you could do was satisfy him with a weak whimper.

his hips didn't stop thrusting against your face, breathing out heavily. "mm fuck.. take me so well maus." he moaned, watching as your mouth spread around him. tears fell from your eyes, fingers digging into his muscled thighs. "too much for you libe? cant take it all?" he moaned, pulling his dick out your mouth.

drool followed, your lips swollen. his hand cupped your chin to force you to look up at him, a fake sympathetic look on his face. "b-been so.. long." you panted, swallowing while keeping your eyes on him. this caused a big smile on his face now, moving to sit beside you. "come sit." he smiled.

you slowly made your way on his lap, taking in how big he was against you. one of is hands moved up to your chin, pulling you to his lips. the mix of his pre cum and your spit made a mess on each others face. "tell me. tell me your proud of me." he said against your lips, his other hand sliding between your thighs to rub your puffy clit.

you whimpered out, hands finding his broad shoulders, gripping them. "s-so proud of you." you whimpered, slowly moving your hips against his finger. "say it again." he demanded, watching your body react.

your one hand moved up to his hair, gripping it as your orgasm rapidly approached. "im sop-proud of you Koni.. did s-so good." you moaned out, moving your hips against his fingers faster. he moaned out, thrusting his hips up before removing his finger. "need you to show me." he said, gripping your hips to lift you from his lap and align you with his tip.

"okay j-just go slow pl- fuck!" Konig had ignored your request completely, pushing you all the way down on his length. naturally, your body fell against his as he bottomed out inside you, feeling every inch of him while a surprised squeak left your lips. "s-sorry libe", he chuckled, "just got too excited."

his hips moved out of your pussy slow, before pushing deep inside of you. your fingers dug into his shoulders, beginning to feel how small you really were against his body. the muscles in his shoulders tensed, a low growl emitting from him. his large hands wrapped almost fully around d your waist, allowing him to move you at the pace he wants you to, turning you into a real life flashlight.

and it made you even wetter.

"s-so fucking small against me yeah? happy I saved you from that man huh libe? are you happy I saved the day?" he whispered, bouncing you up and down. you wanted to respond, but you couldnt. you were getting off on the fact he was manhandling you, his size compared to you causing your cunt to squelch around him. so all you could give him was a small pathetic nod, partnered with a small meek ‘yes.

he kept up the pace he set for you, beginning to thrust up into you. “oh fuck.. so deep inside this pussy. filling yoh all the way up.” he groaned, his head digging into your shoulder. your arms wrapped around his neck, nails digging into his broad shoulders as your body fell to mush in his grip.

“s-so big.” yoh whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut and hitting your lip, trying not to be too loud to wake your kid. he chuckled, slowing his pace to a halt, letting you also rest. “too much?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your neck before looking to you. you nodded, whimpering out another ‘yes.

he laid you on the couch, sliding out of your cunt leaving yoh throbbing. he laid above you, tapping his length on your pussy. “so wet.. you like me killing for you don’t you?” he whispered, cupping yohr cheek with his hand. you nodded quickly, looking up at him.

his other hand ran up and down your inner thigh, gripping it. “you gotta be quiet for me maus.. don’t wanna wake our baby.” he whisperer, aligning his tip before slowly pushing in, whimpering out as you wrapped around him. your eyes squeezed shut, mouth falling open. his hand quickly found your mouth, head pressing against yours.

he took a shaky breath before sliding oht slowly and pushing back in, whimpering out again. slowly he picked up the pace, his hands finding your hips to hold you down and allow him to go faster and deeper. “so fucking tight.. and it’s all mine.” he groaned, looking at you through his eyelashes. his hips slapped against yours, filling the room with the sound of slapping and moans.

your hands found the back of his head, pulling tightly on his hair. he whimpered out, gripping your hips a bit tighter, releasing his hand from your mouth. “it’s a-all yours Koni. just yours.” you moaned, raising your legs to wrap around his waist. he whimpered out a ‘fuck’, raising his head to look into your eyes. “t-tell me again.” he moaned, moving faster.

he was close you could tell. his breaths got shaky and his fingers dug into your hips. “this pussy is.. is all yours.” you cooed, tugging his hair just a bit. he groaned, pushing your legs up to your chest a bit more, drilling right against your womb. “oh please o-pull my hair more.” he whimpered, looking down to you with desperate eyes.

you smirked, tugging his hair so his head was pulled back, exposing the veins in his neck. your pussy clenched around him, the idea of being in control of the man who towers over you completely. “you l-like being controlled like this huh?” you whisper, clenching around his cock tighter. he whimpered, his hands working up your body now to your breasts.

“i-i’m gonna.. i’m gonna cum libe.” he whimpered, playing with your nipples. you gasped softly, your back arching off the couch slightly. his hips drilled into ykh faster, chasing his own high. his desperation caused yohr pussy to pulse around him, your stomach turning. “so close.. just w-wait for me Koni.” you moaned, your legs tightening around him.

you let his hair go, your hand gripping his face to pull him down to kiss you. the kiss was deep and fast, silencing each others moans. “please libe.. i c-cant hold it anymore.” he begged against your lips, one hand sliding between your bodies to your clit. “keep going in so c-close.. fuck.”

naturally, his hips moved quicker, desperate taking over the once controlled man. his tip abused your womb, causing tears to brim at your eyes as your cunt convulsed around his cock. "c-cum in me Koni" you moaned out, feeling yourself let go. but you didn't have to finish your sentence before his head dropped in between your neck, biting down on your skin to try and silence himself. his fingers dug into your hips, his own hips pounding into you as he forced his cum deeper into you.

your own body shook under him, your hands gripping his hair as you let the pleasure course threw your body. "q-quiet libe.. c-can't wake the baby." he whimpered, placing his hand over your mouth as you came down from your high. he thrusted slowly in and out of you, his body pressed flat against yours. your hands let go of his hair as your body relaxed, your legs shaking less. his hand left your mouth, head still in your neck.

"did you.. really kill him Konig?" you finally asked after a bit of silence. but you got nothing in return. instead, you were hit with soft snoring in your ear, Konigs arms wrapped around your body. you felt him softening inside you, causing the heat to rush to your cheeks. smiling, you kissed his forehead before pressing your head back on the couch, closing your eyes and drifting off to the sound of his snoring.

another request done finally. college is kicking my ass y'all. dont do it. (jkjkjk)

[diaryofaprettyprincess]

hiii i’m sorry i actually can’t remember if i sent this before or not😭could you maybe write smth with eddie getting an innocent reader high for the first time? <3

(hi angel !! u havent sent this before so <33 hope u enjoy!! *sorry if this kinda sucks i wrote it at like three am KDSJF)) (also i wrote about her smoking for the first time but i didnt touch much on her getting high really.. if u want me to write just that lmk!!)

✧˚₊‧ 🧸 ✧˚₊‧

eddie originally invited u over to his trailer because he mentioned how he was failing math and needed ur help studying. of course, you complied, wanting to help him (and spend time with him as youve had a crush on him for months) (and of course he didnt actually want ur help studying, he just used that as an excuse to hangout with u as he has had a crush on u for a good two years).

but now, after helping him study for a good hour, he declared he needed a break. this break included him playing some of the most intense music youve ever heard posing as 'background music' whilst he smoked a rolled blunt.

he asked you if u were comfortable with him smoking in the same room as you, and because u were a curious creature (never being around any sort of drug), you nodded, saying you were fine with it.

eddie thought you were odd, in a good way of course. god, he wanted you so badly..but he didnt want to scare you off. he knew how sensitive you were to certain things. so when you sat right down in front of him as he smoked, staring at him with gloriously curious doe eyes, watching him take a drag from his joint--he was surprised to say the very least.

eddie watches the way youre eyeing the joint between his plush lips as he inhales, eyes squinting slightly as he looks at you sitting across from him on his bed; kneeling on his mattress--hands folded in your lap politely n ur eyes full of wonder but hesitancy as u chew on ur lower lip. you watch the metalhead blow the smoke from his mouth, an arm behind his head as he lies back against his pillows.

"you wanna try?" he asks, holding the joint out to you as he blows the smoke up in the air. he can feel the way your eyes trace his movements.

you giggle nervously, flustered. "o-oh, uhm, i dunno.. 've never tried such things before!"

thats something else eddie loved about you.

when you got shy you talked like some sort of disney princess.

he smirks, amused. his eyes are half lidded n red as he swipes his tongue along the fat of his bottom lip.

"c'mon.." his voice is playful. "'see the way ur eyein' it, princess.. i'll help you through it, dont worry." eddie takes a small drag from the end of his blunt once more.

fuck, hes so high. and horny. high and horny. maybe not the greatest combo when the girl he's liked for years is sitting right in front of him looking so..soft and beautiful.

does ur skin always glow this vibrantly?

"i just--'ve never done stuff like this. what if i act funny?" your lips form into a pout, concern lacing in ur features.

why did you have to be so cute and irresistable?

"'s okay, angel. promise i wont judge..could never judge a sweet girl like you," his praise makes you preen as you blush. "c'mon, come sit next to me, ill talk ya through it, mk?"

you nod, butterflies fluttering in ur tummy. besides the heavy smell of weed, eddie smelled so yummy to you. he was addicting to be around.

you sat next to him on his bed, pulling ur skirt down a bit as you get comfortable.

"now, just put ur lips around the end and inhale, okay? u might cough a bit but it'll go away," eddie brings the lit joint to ur glossed lips as ur eyes round with inexperience. the metalhead maintains eye contact with u as u inhale sharply, immediately bending forward and coughing as he pats ur back. "'s okay, princess, ur okay.." his ringed fingers rub ur back as u struggle to breathe.

a few seconds pass and u feel better. ur head is light but heavy.

"wanna try again? should've probably told u to inhale slowly..forget u dont know much about this stuff." he tucks a loose strand of hair behind ur ear and u feel ur heart speed.

u nod. "yes, please!"

eddie smiles gently at your eagerness. "alright, sweet girl, remember..nice n easy, okay? inhale gently and slowly."

you nod a bit as he brings the joint to ur lips. his left hand rubs up and down your right arm comfortingly. that act alone makes the butterflies that once only fluttered inside ur belly swirl into a storm.

eddie watches ur lips as u inhale slowly.

"good, baby.. nice n easy, okay? doin' so good.." his voice is so soft and gentle as he tenderly squeezes ur arm as u blow the smoke from ur lips.

u giggle when done, clapping excitedly before you're hit with a wave of tranquility.

eddie smiles. "u okay, honey?"

u smile back.

u were more than okay.

[strawberry-shortcakey]

my defense of Caitlyn in wake of season 2

    Defending my wife rn 

    Lets get right into this mind you my spelling and punctuation are like non existent so yk

Starting off with the thing i feel people seem to not really understand is whats happening is shes being tugged in like 5 different directions struggling between her obligations to her family name the kiraman family is matriarchal this rests on her entirely she wants to maintain her mothers legacy yet theres the undeniable rage fueled by her mothers death and her feeling of failing all of piltover the feeling that if she had killed jinx before there wouldnt have been so many lives lost she feels ultimately responsible for everything in her life which makes that rage overpower her i mean most of the council civilians enforcers who she had been around her WHOLE LIFE. she feels all that weight in her heart and on her mind much like vi due to her trauma generalizes the people of piltover and enforcers cait blames zaunites and i feel its unfair to give vi a pass and not caitlyn shes trying to hold onto her morals she fights for avoiding innocents getting hurt until the memorial attack where it turns into more than an attack by jinx now an attack from multiples causing her to lose that part of her morals and the last pull is for vi caitlyn loves vi thats something i have never doubted for even a second i mean seriously she puts so much at stake for vi. People don't seem to see that her bringing vi before the council in season one couldve ended poorly for her it couldve reflected horribly onto her family if the council had decided not to hear her out. And on top of all of that shes trying to hold it together. We see her cry a few times but she doesnt ever really let it out i mean shes putting herself under that pressure part of her character has always been that she hates when things are just handed to her as we see in her scene with grayson when she gets upset at the mere idea of her parents paying off grayson to let her win and we confirm that stayed into adulthood when jayce offers her that job for him and shes offended at the mere idea and i feel part of her feels if she shows that pain shes in things are gonna be handed to her out of sheer pity something that would likely fuel her rage further and further.

Next topic is her being willing to kill isha if it meant killing jinx. Now i understand the shock of this how it feels “out of character for her” but it really isnt yes she has been openly against the idea of people getting hit in the crossfire but in her mind its 1 innocent for multiple innocents including her own mother. she also isnt the first character to directly or indirectly result in a child's death and she didnt even succeed so yk but anyway every single councilor is responsible for countless deaths of undercity children and families heimerdinger honestly the most responsible because yk like 200 years of  ignoring the undercity and can i also just mention vis switch up on her opinion season one jayce kills a kid when fighting at the shimmer lab and vi has the mentality “you did what needed to be done one life for like 100” yet when caitlyn finds herself in that same mindset vis all “whats wrong with you you're evil now” so uh yeah not an attack on vi just trying to expand on it throughout this i will make comparisons on how we excuse vi but attack caitlyn and why i think thats really telling of how people see her as a character only there for caitvi romance plot!! But anyway caitlyn had every fucking right in that moment mind you she also was running on adrenaline something that i feel a lot of people don't understand in that moment its often impulse you do the first thing to come to mind she was just fighting off sevika shes in that do or die mindset its kill jinx or people die people also don't understand how deep caits trauma around jinx runs we don't know what she was put through during the time between her abduction and the like final scene of season 1 also just yk the entire show. jinx is her personal trauma.

Now onto the caitvi argument in the tunnels lets loop back to the state of mind she was in shes pumped on adrenaline rage and fear. She feels a deep sense of betrayal much like jinx does when vi “picks cait over her” its that feeling of “oh so you care more about someone who deeply hurt me and a random kid than me.” that only fuels her rage/pain that is making her less and less of her core values. caitlyn gets on the defensive she makes a generalization Something once again we see vi do to caitlyn earlier with the oil and water speech which no doubt left a hole in caits heart something that will stick with her dare i even say that plays a part in why she no longer sees zaun and pilover as two sides of the same coin the person who helped her learn something so crucial suddenly saying “actually we are different piltover is all the same you're all horrible. We can never get along, you are not an exception” which no doubt shattered that view and helped cement the separation in her mind. The key difference is that vi didnt get physical cait pushed her and hit her with the rifle but like i said she's on the defense. Also ive seen people saying “oh well cait knows how shes traumatized by enforcers” to caitlyn that trauma is equal to the trauma of what jinx has done to her and honestly it is caitlyn has lost almost everything to this for the sake of what started off as her dreams of justice her need to prove herself has been what she feels like is the sole cause of the  downfall of piltover. Which is why i truly believe caitlyn is still herself that the development to her character logical and her actions fully explainable and defendable 

Little added thing it’s after getting compared to jinx that she hits vi I mentioned how that’s literally her main trauma jinx killed her mom and ruined her life I’d hit someone with a rifle over that too.

And thats all ive got for now lmk if i should cover more!! And i will be adding as arc 2 and 3 release!

[unreleasedwrites]

Love your writing!!! Could I request a fluff scenario with jake kim? Thank uu💕💕

Baking Shenanigans

“F’me?”

summary: You and your boyfriend are spending the weekend at your place. When you two were suddenly craving for something sweet, so you guys make the choice to try baking a strawberry shortcake using a highly reviewed recipe you guys found on the internet. Surprisingly, it went as you two hoped and tasted delicious.

character(s) included: Jake Kim x fem!reader

cw: fluff, cheesy pickup lines, teasing, flirting, idk much abt baking I just googled a recipe and the storyline follows the steps, jake is tall therefore you guys have a height difference, mentions of knives but its just for slicing strawberries, blushing/getting flustered, jake and reader are in an established and healthy relationship, nicknames or petnames like babe, kissing, waist holding, sLIGHTly just SLIGHTly suggestive at the end but not really so dw, there may be a few typos or grammatical errors so mb about that i didnt read too thoroughly

unwrapped on: Wednesday Morning, December 20 2023

wrapped up on: Wednesday Night, December 20 2023

published on: Thursday Noon, December 21 2023 (at around 12 PM)

“While you’re cutting up the strawberries, I’ll go ahead and preheat the oven!” You stated. “Oh- And I’ll also get our ingredients for the dough and some other materials we’ll need.” You added.

“Got it, shortcake.” Jake replied.

“Hey.. Just because were baking a strawberry shortcake, it doesn’t mean you should take the opportunity to give me a new nickname!”

He laughed in response as he swiftly sliced the fresh strawberries.

“You’re a natural in using knives, I thought you were more of a close combat kinda guy.” You mesmerized his hands slicing through each strawberry smoothly, glancing at the tattoos that trailed his arms.

“Well- I am, and I never really use knives. I rarely cook and it’s not my style to just stab my way through a serious match.” He shrugged.

You went ahead and got the different materials you guys needed to make the strawberry shortcake. You then took a stroll through the kitchen, from cabinet to fridge, to collect the various ingredients you’d be using according to the recipe you guys are following.

“Alright-y! I’ve got everything we were missing.”

“You’re the only one i’m ever missing,” he said as he turned towards your flustered face.

“Oh shut up, I’m right here. I always have been, and I always will be.” You replied as you got on your tippy toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek then added, “Look at how the tables have turned.. You’re the one who’s fluster-” You added before he cut you off and kissed you on your lips for a good 5 or so seconds, which made you even more flustered than you already were beforehand.

“Well would you look at that! Little miss’ no longer flustered has her cheeks as red as these strawberries,” He teased as he brought one down to your lips and fed you it. “Hmph,” was all you said in return because you knew you wouldn’t be able to top that. Which in the end, only made him chuckle.

You guys started to open the ingredients and put what’s required in the bowl you put out for the dough. Once you guys finished doing so, you mixed the dough mixture and proceeded to knead it for about a minute— which your boyfriend was the one to do so since he’s really strong anyway and wouldn’t struggle one bit. After lightly coating it in some flour, he rolled the dough into the specific thickness that was instructed and stated on the said recipe.

“Now that we’ve finished rolling the dough, we now need the biscuit cutter!” You said joyfully as you looked up at your boyfriend.

“Right! I’ll go get that for us.” He paused as he opened your cabinet with all of your tools for baking and cooking. “..What exactly does that look like..?” He added.

You laughed and walked to his side to assist, “It’s that one, silly.”

“I knew that! ..Obviously, I just wanted to see if you did too.” He laughed and so did you.

Once you guys had cut your dough into two thick circles, you went on to quickly melt some butter while your boyfriend was lining up a baking sheet for your guys’ tray. After only a few seconds, you took the butter out and greased up the baking sheet using your good ol’ brush. Once Jake placed the dough onto the tray with the greased up baking sheet, you brushed them up with some of the remaining melted butter in your bowl.

“I think its time!” You announced.

“..For you to give me a kiss?” He teased.

“Uh-uh babe. My lips are locked, but maybe later— If you can crack the code, that is. But for now, lets place these in the oven for about 12 minutes.”

“Awh,” he pouted and gave you his best puppy eyed look (although he doesnt even have to try), “Cmonn~ I promise I’ll control myself and I wont smother you in kisses like last week, pretty please” He pleaded, “with a lil’ strawberry on top?”

“Hmm..”

“Pleaseeee”

“Alright Alright!” You finally gave in as you put the tray into the oven, right after you set it to the instructed temperature and time.

Before you could even give him the go, he already grabbed onto your waist, clinging onto your body like a koala with its favorite tree. He started planting kisses all over your head and neck, down to your collarbone and shoulders— which were out in the open since you were wearing a very loose off shoulder top along with shorts.

“Babe-! You promised you’d control yourself!” You tried to speak out, but it was slightly muffled since he was too busy kissing you all over, especially in places he knew you were ticklish in— which caused you to keep laughing, ultimately forgetting you were trying to stop him in the first place from getting away with his little acts.

Twelve minutes finally passed by and you two heard a ding, signaling it was ready. So you guys made your way to the kitchen and you took out some mittens and grabbed the tray from the oven.

“Ta-da! They aren’t raw and they aren’t burnt at all! Its perfect!”

“I never doubted us for a second!” Jake spoke sarcastically.

“Well when you say it like that, I dont believe you one bit..”

“All we need now is the cream, I’ll place everything in the bowl and I’ll also mix it, could you prepare the strawberries and grab a plate with utensils so we could plate it right after?” Your boyfriend said as he looked at you with his wholesome smile you can’t get enough of.

“Will do!”

So then Jake got the remaining ingredients for the cream and made the mixture altogether, while you got the plate and a fork right after you prepared the strawberries your boyfriend was slicing earlier.

“I’ve got the spatula (for baking) here, so let’s place the cream.”

“While you do that, I’ll place the strawberries in the lathered cream,” you replied.

After finishing up the cream with strawberries on the second layer, which is also the last, you topped it off with some tiny bits of strawberries while you snacked on the remaining ones.

“We’ve finally finished!”

Jake grabbed a knife from the utensils drawer and took the fork you placed on the counter beforehand, he then sliced through the cake. “Say Ahhh~” Your boyfriend said as he lifted it up towards your lips.

“Ahhh” You opened your mouth and your boyfriend fed you the slice of cake, “How is it, babe?” He asked as you chewed your food.

You nodded in approval in a positive look, and once you finished the food in your mouth— you replied, “It’s the perfect amount of sweet! It’s not overly sweet but it isn’t missing any flavor either, here- you try!” You sliced through the cake and placed it on the fork you two were sharing, “Say Ahhh~”

“F’me?” Your boyfriend said with a hint of rasp in his voice,

“Yes sir~” You replied and brought the fork up to his lips.

“Ahhh~” Your boyfriend opened his mouth after he chuckled in amusement from watching your precious reaction to cake.

Your boyfriend smiled in approval and gave you a thumbs up. You then took some of the icing/cream on top using the fork and ate it. You hummed and your boyfriend said, “You’ve got a lil something, babe.” You turned up and looked at him with a confused look and mumbled a little “Hm?” in response.

“Here let me get that for you,” He then grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a kiss, all the while you still had a bunch of the icing in your mouth, which he started to help you with. You got insanely flustered, again. Despite this being such a regular occurrence, you’re always so flustered whenever it happens.

“So did I even have a little something? Or was that just my jake’s little excuse?”

“Believe it or not, you actually did have some icing on the side of your lips, which I cleaned up! So, your welcome~” He said with a smirk.

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say.” You scoffed.

“How about we go watch a movie, What do you say? Your boyfriend suggested.

“What movie?”

“How about this romantic movie I heard about last week?”

“Of course its romance again, huh?” You scoffed sarcastically.

“What can I say? I am a sucker for romance after all.”

notes: I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG AND I AM SO SORRY😭 Its not like I just forgot about what I was doing here, I just got really busy with school and all the exams and everything.. I’m so sorry for disappearing out of the blue, but I have been going back and fourth in the works in my drafts, because I have been trying to finish some one’s request but it just keeps going NOWHERE. and I have literally restarted twice when I was already halfway because I really wasn’t happy with how it was going and i am struggling to get it done 💀 I hope this is good and since the pattern of my posts are fic-drabble-fic-drabble-fic-drabble/answering an ask-and this fic, I will be start working on a drabble of multiple lookism characters, im not yet sure what scenario I’ll be doing but yeah.. and to the anon who made the request about Gun, im really trying to work on it im so sorry its been almost 3 months.. 😭😭 ALSO, TO THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS, im sorry it took so long as well and since you just said a fluff scenario, I figured i’d go ahead with my idea to make my post about baking shenanigans a series, so yall can request a character for that

- With or without proper credits, please don't try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs

Once again, I hope this isn't too bad for all of you that likes Jake or lookism, and I'll be doing more characters in lookism 🫶🫶

[luvanniiee]

line of work

• pairings : policeman!hyunjin x fem!reader

• synopsis : hes a cop. his job is to help protect the city. he gets shot at all the time. there was a near miss. all he ever tells you is , its all in the line of work

• warnings : angst like a lot. mentions of shooting, injuries. smut. unprotected sex (wrap it or never see it again) , emotional vanilla sex, fluffy sex, reader has feminine body parts, petnames, breeding, reader gets pregnant, missionary and riding, lots of emotions being shown. fluff at the end! lmk if i missed something.

• a/n : hey yall, sorry for my lack of posting. but this is just something for yall to read until i finish my other two writings including, feel a way part 2 , and the ateez headcanons i have for yall! okay lemme not talk to much, enjoy the story!

story under the cut :)

everyday starts off the same. hyunjin wakes up, gets ready for work, drowns your sleeping face with kisses , leaves a note on the counter for you, and goes to work. hes a policeman, everyday you’re worried about his safety. sure he may have a bulletproof vest on, and he has partners he goes to work with, but that still doesnt ease your mind until he walks in and lays in your arms.

there was a shooting a few streets down, and of course being scared, you called the police. they responded as quickly as they could. you turned on the news. no one died thankfully, but there were several injuries including the responding officers. you saw hyunjins name listed as one of the injured responding officers. so you hurried downstairs to throw on whatever shoes you could find.

as you went to open the door, a tall figure stood over you. it was hyunjin. baby! oh goodness are you okay? why are you here? shouldn’t you be in the hospital? you questioned. the questions seemed to go in one ear and out the other. he only looked at you. his eyes were full of hurt, relief, lust. im fine bunny. i just….i just need to feel you right now. he said looking in your eyes. uh..hyunjin. arent you hurt? you asked concerned for him. im fine just please let me feel you. i need to be wrapped tightly all around my body. he almost whispered out.

before you could say anything, he pressed his lips against yours. the way he kissed you, full of those emotions he wasnt too fond of sharing out loud. he kissed you with all the love he has for you. it made your head feel light. then he broke the kiss to whisper on your lips, please? he whined. you kissed him again to let him know that you were here to satisfy him. he backed you against the wall, his lips detaching from yours and kissing down your body. he went from your lips, to your neck, to your collarbone and back to your lips. you moaned slightly at the action.

he smiled and picked you up to carry you to the bed. as he laid you down, he started to take off the rest of his uniform. he took off his uniform shirt and then the sweatshirt under it. you looked at his chest, there was a bruise there. you wanted to say something but instead of talking, you sat up and pushed him down. so he was under you. you then kissed him again, slowly and full of love. then you also kissed down his neck but you got to his bruise and paused for a second. hyunjin was gonna tell you to not stare at it for so long. but before he could you started kissing lightly on his bruise.

he hissed slightly as the contusion was still very sensitive. but to him, i didnt matter how much it hurt, he just needed to feel you like that. hyunjin started to get hard because of your actions. then you put your hand on his bulge. he pushed his hips slightly forward trying to get more. but instead you just remove your hand and straddle him. you were moving on him gently so that you wouldnt hurt him. you kissed him again. this time you were grinding down on him. he moaned in your mouth and he gripped your hips.

as much as he’d like to stay in this position with you, hyunjin wasnt really feeling in the mood for teasing. so he flipped you over, and leaned over you. he took your shirt off and motioned you to finish taking off your clothes. which you wasted no time in doing. hyunjin also finished getting undressed so you both were naked soon. wanna skip the foreplay or do you want it? he asked. that’s something admired about him. no matter how needy he was, he would always make sure you were satisfied. lets skip it this time. you replied.

thats all it took for him to spit on his hand and rub himself. you were already wet enough, so he slipped his cock in. you both moaned at the feeling. he sat there for a minute to let you adjust but also to just feel you. he looked at you, his eyes watering a little, he leaned down and held you. i was scared…i thought i wasnt gonna make it out alive. hyunjin said as he started to cry. you teared up too, his words touching your heart. soon enough though, he started to move his hips slowly. he wanted to take his time with you.

any emotion he was feeling, was coming out through his tears, and the rhythm of his hips. you made it and your here, safe with me. you whispered out as you lifted his face to kiss him. there was so much being said even if he wasn’t actually saying anything. he let out a small whine as he felt you clench around him. his noises made you wetter, you felt yourself getting close, but he needed to speed up a little for you to get there. please baby… a little faster. you whined out.

he went faster for you. but the contusion on his chest was bothering him more than he thought. he tried to ignore it but it was hurting him. you noticed this and proposed that you ride him. he nodded and stopped his thrusts. he pulled out and laid on his back. you straddled him once more, this time you positioned his dick so it would slip in easily. you both moaned again, and you started to swirl your hips before bouncing. he held on to your hips as he forced you to still your hips. not yet baby..not yet. he moaned as he closed his eyes.

then he lifted his hips and thrusted into you from below. your instinct was to put your hand on his chest for balance but you settled on the pillow underneath his head. you both were moaning and crying each others name. his thrusts from below made you close. im gonna cum baby. you moaned softly. he nodded his head and pushed your hips down as much as he could. he did that so he could push himself deeper inside, then he started to push his hips into you. it made your head light and before you could announce it, you were experiencing your high.

you came with a silent moan and a slight shake from how intense it was. you soon caught your breath and leaned forward to kiss him. he felt how tightly you clenched around him, it made him get close too. and soon enough he spilled himself into you with a loud cry of your name. fuck y/n, im cumming! he moaned. he stilled his hips as he came. his eyes slightly watering. it was a beautiful thing to see when he came.

hyunjin slowly let his hips fall back to the bed, and you lifted yourself off him slowly so you dont overstimulate him on accident.

it was a scary thing that happened today. but im glad i was lucky enough to come home to you. hyunjin spoke. im glad youre here. also that bruise baby, should we take care of it? you asked. no, ill just let it go down on its own. he said. hyunjin. you spoke. hm? he replied. you didnt pull out. im not on the pill. you mentioned. i know. hyunjin said. you smiled at the thought of having a family with hyunjin.

i hope yall enjoyed this one. i hope it isnt too much. but yeah, feel a way and ateez are coming soon. so please stay tuned lol anyways byee!!

p.s. contusion is a medical term for bruise, if you didn’t know that, well now u do! i didnt wanna keep saying bruise over and over again so i decided to use that word. lol.

©️luvanniiee on tumblr !!

[aidlyncanon]

this is my first actual tumblr post since idk what to do but ive had this idea in my head for a while and I wanted to share 🤗

so heres what I think each sbg characters love languages are. I wanted to include both the love language they express towards other and the type that resonates? with them when expressed by others. i dont know how to word that but I hope itll make sense 🙏

if it's inaccurate im sorry im not great at wording but i did try and make it at least a bit accurate which is hard when im unsure to most of these

𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑: 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄/𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄?

— I feel like this may be the only one that properly fits Ashlyn. I could see her maybe also liking acts of service but i cant exactly explain why.

Maybe its because I think its also what she would do for others that I think it would fit. Like I said maybe acts of service like people doing little things to make her life easier.

I have a headcanon that Taylor or Ben has things in their bags for the others (total mom friends) so imagine her shock when she found out someone had ear plugs in their bag incase she needed them?

you get where im going with this?

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

— I take little to no criticism on this. I can't imagine Ashlyn's being anything else. If she tried getting a gift she'd probably take too long wondering if theyd actually use it. Physical touch is a meh, she doesnt hate it but it wouldnt be her favourite. She said herself she isnt the best with words.

Her gift to people is just her presence. She'd be the type to occasionally need quiet but wouldn't mind being in comfortable silence with someone she likes. I feel like quality time would be her way of showing she cares for someone.

𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐊

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: ???

— This is an idk because im basing these off of what we know about their background and character but we know like nothing so everything about this is based off of pure theory.

The only canon part i can mention is that during his conversation with Ashlyn at the school he mentioned how since he moved around a lot he never really had a true bond with anyone.

"You seemed like the type to only get close with people who mean something to you."

So Aiden didnt just want someone he could feel attached to, he also wanted to feel cared for. Its a two way street with him.

While I could see him loving physical touch as I doubt he got enough of that as a child and he clearly loves being touchy with people I feel like with what we know I could argue really any love language. He'd probably take anything if it makes him feel cared for.

I found a picture of a chart saying "your love language may show what you lacked as a child" and he checked every box so he's fucked.

I ultimately want to settle with physical touch as he seemed shocked when Ashlyn initiated the hug likely due to being the one to always initiate them. Like above he probably just wants his efforts reciprocated.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇

— Self explanatory we see him being touchy with Ashlyn. He also put his hand on Tyler (idk if this is still fast pass if it is my apologies).

"he did that as a stay away from my girl" stfu. 🤗

𝐁𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐊

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

— I take ZERO criticism on this.

Were all aware how bad his bullying was so I doubt he heard anything nice about him.

The main thing that makes me believe this is that every time he gets complimented or something nice said about him he gets sort of flustered and blushes.

This ^ was ben after Ashlyn complimented his bandaging job. A small compliment I know but even after what taylor said about him opening up he blushed there too.

You can't deny it means a lot to him he probably thought about those for a while.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆

— I talked about this in a discord server briefly but I want to share it here. You know the quote "the quieter you are the more you hear"? Well thinking of that ive come up w the idea that Ben likely is more observant compared to most people.

Hed be the one to notice if someone was looking at something for a while in a store or hear it pass in conversation. Make a mental or physical note of it and get it for them.

I just imagine him being the type to be like "i know you like this" or "this reminded me of you". I feel like he wouldnt be the greatest at expressing it in many other ways so he resorts to getting people things.

Hes also pretty artsy so I can also just imagine him making people little things for them.

Like, tyler taught him guitar? gets tyler a new pick. Logan looking at something in the store? need to remember that. and so on

𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃𝐒

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

— Similar to Ben's. I could maybe see quality time being important to him as he hasnt had many people want to stick around him.

I mean his parents didnt want him and barrons group are just assholes so spending time with someone who genuinely cares for him? Doing an activity he enjoys? Hes over the moon.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄

— I can see him wanting to help people, i mean he helped Noah (the guy who barron replaced him with). I can imagine him doing little things for the group and people he loves.

He might get a bit embarrassed if confronted about it but ultimately hed do it again.

𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐙

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑: 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄???

— This is up in the air but I feel like it fit her the best? I imagine after her dad dying at a young age she grew up knowing that time with people is limited and can end at any moment.

So i can imagine her really appreciating someone spending one-on-one of just personal time with her. But i can also just see her appreciating any type.

My thing is I can imagine her being happy with receiving anything as long as someone had her best interest at heart then she'd become the happiest girl ever.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

— Another give in, she does it ALL THE TIME. Its literally her defining feature. Shes very good with words and likes making others feel better about themselves. Seeing people perk up from her words would be enough to make her own day better.

I imagine she too, like tyler, had to be there for her mom a lot. So she probably learnt it from that experience. I also imagine her want to make people happier stemmed from seeing Tyler slowly lose interest in everything around him and wanting to be able to be the person who could make his day just a bit better.

Though like above I could see taylor doing things she knows mean the most of others. Like the moment she realized Ben likes words of affirmations she made sure to compliment him a bit more. After realizing Ashlyn likes quality time she would find a way to do that while also not overwhelming Ashlyn, say a movie or just going on a walk. Shed make an effort to make people happy based off of what they love the most.

𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐙

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄

— Tyler spent his entire childhood taking care of people so imagine how he would react to being taken care of for once.

I figure like at first hed be a bit reluctant however I think ultimately it would mean a lot to him to not have to always be rhe one taking care of others but being able to rest for once.

Like idk how to word it but I think it fits him, I could also see MAYBE words of affirmation? since he did want that when Logan Ashlyn and Ben found him but then again I dont blame him he was literally sitting bleeding.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄?

— This one has a question mark since im not sure. Taking care of others has just became nature to him, its his factory settings. Its not something he like goes and does to get people interested its just natural to him.

I dont think its something he'd do specifically to express care, he'd likely be unaware how much it could mean to someone since its just life to him.

Im not too sure what his would actually be MAYBE quality time again similar to Taylors in the sense that he knows just how fast someone can lose their lives so he likely would appreciate someone wanting to actually spend time with him.

Even if he wouldnt admit it.

If these are inaccurate then I apologize I did try to make them as accurate as I could but wording my thoughts isnt something i'm great at.

Most of these im unsure of but I wanted to talk about anyway so idk gimme ur opinions on them id love to hear them esp since im unsure for half of these :)

[aannonn]

★ ─。colorful text , strong colors , bold text , brief mention of suicide , implied/referenced grief , swearing

okay i know we are all excited about the actual short that just came out but let me ramble a bit about Red cause im getting emotional about this stick ... ( before my motivation to type all of this ends and i dont feel emotional anymore lol )

Red in season 3 went through so much istg ;; not only did he and Sec went through a very tense (and needed) fight which almost caused the end of their friendship (+ Sec was clearly in the winning side here, or Red was just really terrified of her at that moment given to how he tried to run away from her - of which i will probably talk about it in a later post maybe), but he was also really fucking tormented in monster school (i felt so bad for him in this episode i legit wanted to cry)

+ after all of this fiasco he really went ahead and carried this thing (of which, given to how he hit it on the ground and it made a soft thump, it must have been heavy asf) all the way to the other side and??? fucking smashed King's chin which made him fly to so fucking far ;; which means he literally used all of his strenght to carry this staff, and dropkick King with it, even if it was so hard he almost even dropped it at first

AND THEN HE JUST. PROCEEDS TO PASS OUT ON THE FLOOR CAUSE HES SO FRICKING TIRED AND EXHAUSTED AAWRGHWS

there are also other moments where i think he really deserves a break tbh ;;

he lost a pet. i have a pet myself and just the thought of ever losing him hurts so fucking much to the point i can feel my oof'ing urges coming back.

;; granted; it was a minecraft pig and it was high with all the potions, and also tried to kill all of them, but he clearly atleast had some care for that pig ... (the fact that he immediately stood up and spawned another animal makes me think about that one post/tiktok (i dont remember the user) i've seen ; which talked about Red possibly hiding/bottling up his sadness from others , in order to stay happy and positive or because he doesn't think his struggles are important enough compared to the others' - which i think it make alot of sense since you rarely see him cry or something, just going numb and/or looking down in despair - the only ever time we ever saw him cry was when Green supposedly died.)

i haven't talked about this actual short before since i had no desire to , but damn bro the way i felt bad for Red in this(っ °Д °;)っ he just wanted to have red stuff for him aswell, since apparently it wasn't dropping for him for some reason???? okay he should have included green and blue stuff aswell instead of possibly removing them but. still. Green and Blue were so fricking wrong in this

and !! his and Sec's tense relationship in the past seasons ... i love Sec he's literally my fav out of them all but i cannot defend xem on this. i know she had her reasons and im not saying Red was in the right either but, gosh ... pretty ironic given he's the one who inspired xem to break in in their site and join them in their battle

... i dont even need to explain do i

he lost a pet ... again. and because of his own fault aswell ! he knew the possible dangers of fusing the command block and the staff together , given how he almost got possessed alongside his friends the first time something like this happened , and yet ... he did it anyway . and beeper died as a consequence . i cant imagine how much guilt he must have felt .. (probably one of the main reasons why he didnt put up a fight when they put him in the timeout box)

i think he wanted to cry at this scene ngl ,,,

thinking about this ; they are all really tragic characters tbh ,,, stepping away from the heavy angsty all of c!Alan's stickfigures go through , rygb goes through a lot of shit aswell , and tbh i just feel bad for all of them ; they are all such tragic characters that deserve a very well-needed break break/_ \

since we are in this topic aswell , i would like to mention how i really love Blue and his immediate rush in being a comfort for the others<3

i used to think Yellow was the therapist friend but we only ever saw him comfort Blue lolll ( i love him anyway ;; i think Blue is more of a therapist friend than he is though )

[ainri]

hello! I'm the one who asked for one of illumi (yandere) could you make it headcanons?

illumi zoldyck as a yandere (hcs and drabble.)

•hunter x hunter

•yandere illumi headcanons + small drabble

•mostly fem oriented

•assasin/servant reader

•fic warinings: !dark content!, mentions of death multiple times including reader + reader’s family, insinuated character death at end, forced labor, undergarmnet theft, swear words, mild gaslighting, obsessive thoughts.

•🔞

•masterlist

•a/n: this is my first request so ty!!! tbh i rlly like writing yanderes like its just so fun? anyways someone should really do a crime count because i had to put some extra stuff in the fic warning so that people wouldn’t go crazy on me or call me insensitive 🥰sorry for the wait i completely forgot abt tumblr…..🙊if it doesnt make sense its because i rushed it bc i felt bad for how long i kept my anon waiting (sorry anon pookiebear) and its 1:27am 😞😞

continuation of this post!

<🌟🌟🌟>

-how did you end up this position again?

-oh yeah thats right! your parents were also assasins who just happened to have ‘issues’ with the zoldycks.

-they had personal issues with silva due to a deal gone wrong between the two assassin families.

-how did silva handle getting played by your parents? by sending out an order to kill them.

-but silva is a higher class man with much bigger issues. who’s better to do the job than his son illumi?

-of course the original order was to kill you, your father, and your mother.

-when illumi saw you walking back onto your family’s estate something in him just snapped.

-he just couldn’t help it; he had to have you, no matter the cost.

-that was the moment he realized he couldnt just let you die or kill you.

-you were…special?

-that was the first mission he had ever failed… he just couldnt bring himself to kill you.

-after silva finished beating the shit out of him; illumi had an idea.

-illumi spoke of this idea to silva; to make you a personal servant in return for you and your parents’ lives.

-of course silva agreed, once silva privately told you of this ‘agreement’ you had to agree.

-best to not test the zolycks’ willpower and to not test the waters.

-working as illumi’s personal servant was fine, that was before your panties started disappearing randomly from your laundry bin.

-“master illumi, i hate to bother you with this but have you seen my panties?”

-“no. what are you saying servant?”

-he quickly retorted back, almost, no, way too quickly.

-of course, this all started to add up when the male zoldyck house staff started to ignore you + avoid you like the plague.

-apologizing profusely to you over the smallest mistakes or accidents.

-this was all bizzare…. you needed answers, as quickly as possible.

•••

it was a calm day of cleaning when suddenly you walked in on it—illumi torturing your male coworker who helped you clean the atrium yesterday. “master illumi, what are you doing?” the servant asked horrified and confused,

“none of your business servant-“ he stopped himself to reword his sentence, “you know what? no! i was teaching him a lesson for speaking to you. besides you only belong to me!-right? right? say you belong to me! i killed all of those men—no, boys for you and you can’t even say, ‘thank you master illumi.’!?” he was yelling, now losing his temper.

“master illumi i didnt ask for you to kill for me! whats wrong with you? you-you-you psychopath! youre being completely delusional and irrational!—“

CLANG

all you saw was black as you felt your vision go blurry with illumi hitting you in the head with skme heavy blunted off object.

“i don’t appreciate that (name), i don’t appreciate it at all. you ungrateful woman. all i ever wanted to do was love you. clearly you cant even allow me to do that much. what a shame.”

END

••••••••

©2023 ainri; do not repost my work without credit or repost my work in a different language♡

[beecanons]

Hello!!! :D Hi, could you do Raiden and Kung Lao (MK1) or maybe Hanzo and Kuai Liang (MK11) agere headcannons? Pleeeeease? Also have a good day, and it's okie if you can't!! :3

hi! im not sure if you wanted them individually or as pairs so i gift you!

Regressor mk1 trio headcanons, featuring Liu Kang, Kung Lao and Raiden!

i know you didnt mention liu kang and as much as i love kung lao, i cant seperate these guys theyre best friends.

raiden would absolutely be a cg for regressors liu kang and kung lao though he would be a bit of a strict and stern cg he would be very caring and keep them out of touble but when he says no, theres no changing his mind.

liu kang or kung lao could easily be a baby sitter for one another but with raiden as cg theyre best buds or even sibs on a playdate

this does include playfights

kitana is either a standin cg or babysitter at least for liu kang, maye not as much for kung lao but will look after them together if need be

raiden's the best at giving sublte and vague excuses for the three of them to leave when needed no one questions him but the other too often suck at it and stumble over or generally mess up the excuse

not very independant regressors, they normally wont even regress unless prompted somehow

raiden picks up on everything knows the moment they feel little and need something hes very attuned to them and can read them easily

angy liu kang has set things on fire didnt always mean to does apologize after time out

liu kang would be maybe 4-5 kung lao might be soemthere between 4-10 depending on the day

kung lao needs some sort of safety precaution on his hat he's allowed to have it, they tried telling him he cant and that was a mistake but when he's little they put something on the bladded rim and he'll sit and pout about it for a bit

regressor Scorpion(Hanzo) and cg sub-zero(Kuai Liang)!

this gif just defines their relationship for me "no, hanzo, this way, there." "oh i see" "good job"

hanzo regresses around age 6 he's a very curious kid but hes also very stubborn and grumpy

hanzo wont often ask for help kuai liang will notice when he needs help and will usually ask first but knows hanzo wont admit to it and will find ways to help him out without causing a fuss

gumpy kiddo will sit next to him and pout until the other takes the hint and gives him a hug doesnt really like cuddles but is okay with hugs or being held for a short time

"hanzo dont do it...noo..." something proceeds to light on fire and be put out with cold "thats it, time out, little one" "no!"

its a fight to get him to settle down he's easier to handle and tuck in for a nap or sleep after he's tired himself out kuai liang will find things to direct his energy towards to keep him busy until he tires or gets burnt out so he can cool down with a nap (pun intended)

its hard to find little gear he wont burn when he gets upset a make shift bottle or sippy cup is just a metal waterbottle. plastic will melt and wood will char, so metal things are about the only material that can withstand his outbursts.

after being grumpy and angry, hes really sweet and helpful at the end of the day hanzo wants to help kuai liang as a thank you for helpng him too he feels bad after he gets upset, so he wants to be helpful and do something nice and be a good kiddo to make up for it.

i love mk so much i hope these were okay!

[drdemonprince]

For the kink thing. As an Autistic person, I was restrained sometimes in elementary school, possibly early middle school because I was forced to put up with the classroom environment for the convenience of the school systems I've been in instead of being allowed to just go outside and not put up with people inside. It's hilarious to me that people try to defend restraining above all else instead of as like, a last resort in genuine emergencies where a kid could hurt another, because I ended up developing kink and fetishes around it that I've still got in my late 20s. Could you imagine the pandemonium over restraint defenders having to contend with defending the sexual side of restraint. Where there's adults giving kids all sorts of sexual fantasies and urges just so they can write on a sheet of paper about who threw tea into what harbor as a precursor to a revolutionary war? Especially when there's alternatives like just letting the kid read the textbook alone outside or something? Sorry if mentioning this interaction between adults and kids is uncomfortable but that's literally what happened to me. I honestly have no idea if that restraint can be defined as csa or if what happened to me counts as that, maybe that got normalized for me. You're a mental health expert you'd probably know.

Thank you so much for sharing about this anon. Before I respond let me clarify that I'm not the mental health expert, I'm a dude with a research PhD who's been in enough academic psychological spaces to recognize that most of what gets passed around as knowledge in our field are just pre-existing cultural biases with fancy scientific terms slapped on top of them.

What you experienced was abuse and coercion, and whether we deem that as sexual or not doesn't necessarily make a difference in terms of how bad and violating that it is. We also can't know for sure whether your kink came from this abuse, but that doesn't change the wrongness of the abuse or of how violating it must feel to enjoy sex that always harkens back to your abuse. You had a traumatic experience that has lingering effects, including being reminded of your abuse during sex, and that tells us all we need to know -- that you were hugely violated and that the violation lingers and affects how safe you feel in your body especially during sex.

Talking about the origins of fetishes is always tricky and fraught, some people in the kink world find that conversation endlessly fascinating, and others reject the importance of it entirely, but I think regardless of where one stands on that issue, it is useful for abuse survivors to be able to talk about how they have eroticized their mistreatment and the complex messy feelings that they have about that. not everyone gets a fetish from abuse, but for those of us who do experience a linkage, talking about it feels really important.

And when it comes to that dynamic, you certainly are not alone. I tend to think that much of my fetish for psychological coercion and mind control is strongly linked to growing up in an emotionally and psychologically repressive environment. Being expected to not only behave but to think and feel in a very narrow range of acceptable ways did a real number on me. as did being (forgive the term) groomed to serve as my parents' sole emotional companion and confidant. i didnt under go official ABA but i was conditioned to comply. and my body, the tricky little fucker that it is, has coped with that history by eroticizing it.

I'm actually really grateful to my body for having made lemonade out of this lemon. I could feel ashamed that my early experiences 'broke' me into only finding controlling and manipulative interactions arousing. and I could meet this need in an indirect, internally conflicted way, say by only dating people who actually are abusive because they're the only ones who really get me fired up enough to sexually respond. And I did do that, until my mid twenties. and it was very damaging to me, but not because what i desired sexually was bad. but because i was ashamed and i wasn't treating myself with respect, and those things are bad.

What works far better for me is being open about my fantasies and finding consenting adults with whom to play them out, and to educate myself on how to go about fulfilling them in a safer way. Or I can at least inform myself of the risks and the rewards and make reasoned decisions about them. that's good too.

That's all a long aside though. let's talk about you. I fucking hate that our educational system prizes compliance above learning. You're absolutely right, you could have just read a book about class subjects out in the grass far away from anybody and it's awful that instead you were locked into an overwhelming room and then physically restrained when you couldn't cope with it.

That kind of shit can really fray a person's relationship to their body and their notions of consent and that DOES affect their sexual relationships no matter what. ABA therapy grooms kids for being abused and for staying silent when they are sexually assaulted.

it can be a wonderful thing that your body coped with that lemon by making you the lemonade of a restraint kink, if you want it to be. But you're not any less enlightened or healed or whatever if you don't want to engage with that or if it's too triggering to. It makes sense that recognizing that your sexuality is linked to your abuse makes you feel gross and weird.

For me, what works is engaging with the kinks that scratch that powerful itch, and then engaging in aftercare, and not bothering myself with ideas about my fantasies making me broken or being ashamed of them or what have you. But from where you're sitting, you obviously have every right to be angry that perhaps your abuse was what saddled you with this kink, and that regardless of whereever the kink came from, your abuse means that enjoying the kind of sex you like is also linked to something horrible that happened to you.

I wish that we could have real, open conversations about this with the child restraint defenders and the child abuse apologists and every supporter of ABA. I would love to see their skin crawl with the realization that the abuse they put children through is so harrowing and world-shifting that some kids brains have to erect entire psychosexual defenses around them in order to cope. i get why you want to really throw that in their faces and make them feel as horrified as they always deserve to feel about advocating for this stuff.

But their reaction of horror would come with the implication that having a kink or a fetish is some kind of pathology, and obviously that's not an idea we buy into around here. it's not good for any queer people or disabled people to really make that claim. And in reality, the people you might want to share that information with, in a spirit of righteous indignation, would not actually be moved or persuaded by it. because they never cared about intellectual consistency or the consent of kids ever in the first place.

thanks again for the message, I'm sure it will bring a lot of self recognition to more people than you'll even realize.