#also some news might FINALLY move into the new house and uh yea (in my tiktok i plan to make a tiny story about it)

[ch1zzie]

Joolets (and others)

No more (WHY IS ARTING NOT ARTING)

[kaunis-sielu]

Fire Dogs: 4

It turns out that you didn’t break anything just deeply bruised. Steve brings you home and you feel terrible that he’s wasted his whole night on you and your drama.

“Do you wanna stop and pick up something to eat?”

“No, I’ve got dinner planned. As long as you’re okay waiting for dinner.”

“You’re supposed to take it easy.” He reminds you gently.

“Yea, it’s just Spaghetti. Easy.”

“Come on Fawn, you heard Dr. May, you have to take it easy.”

“I’m right handed, I’ll be fine to put some noodles into hot water and heat some sauce.” You argue and he sighs heavily as he slows to a stop at a stoplight.

“Can you just humor me for one night?” He asks giving you some serious puppy dog eyes. You feel that little prickle of an Alpha command but he doesn’t, like he’d promised.

“Fine. But you don’t get to pay.”

“Woah woah. Now that’s not the deal.”

“That’s the deal.” You argue and Steve glances over at you with an affectionate glare.

“Fine. Has anyone ever told you you’re bossy for an Omega?” He sighs heavily before asking, “What do you want?”

You end up picking up burgers at a little takeout place called Stan’s and eating them at home. Dinner with Steve is fun. He’s smart and charming and you enjoy spending time with him. When you’re done with dinner you grab your Stark Pad and head up to your room. You hear Steve in the shower and you manage to struggle out of your shirt and into your pajamas. You’re supposed to take some painkillers but you’ve got to be up for Sam in a few hours so you don’t.

You’re in way more pain when you wake up at 3:30. You wrap your robe around yourself and open your door. Much to your surprise both Steve and Sam are waiting outside your door.

“You owe me twenty bucks.” Steve says uncrossing one of his arms and holding an open hand out to Sam who pulls his wallet out and slams a twenty into Steve’s hand.

“Um, what?” You ask blinking at the two.

“I bet Sam that you’d be up to make him breakfast and something for Bucky before he goes to bed. Which also means that you didn’t take any pain meds.”

“I’m fine Steve.” You tell him trying to skirt past him.

“Uh, uh, uh Honey.” He pauses you with an arm in front of you, “I know you asked me not to but I wanna know why you need to do this? I just want what’s best for you.” You know he’s talking about not Alpha commanding you, part of it is a simple answer, the other part, not so much.

“Steve, I can’t just not do anything. Okay? I can’t.” You attempt to reason with him, “You guys are out there laying down your lives to help protect my home. I need to do something!” He studies you silently for a moment, just long enough where you’re almost uncomfortable.

“Okay Omega, but the second it’s too much take a break okay? And maybe take half of one of the pills Dr. May gave you. Just to help with the swelling.” He called you Omega again, not that you can lie about it now that Grant had called you an Omega bitch right in front of him. When Steve calls you Omega it’s, nice.

“Will you cut them in half for me before you go? I don’t have much range of motion in my left arm yet.” You ask softly, you have this weird feeling he might like to help take care of you as much as you like helping care for him, Sam and Bucky.

“Yea, I’ll cut one now and do the rest before I head out. If you’re too tired to get up with me please don’t okay?” You nod then follow him down the stairs.

Sam’s breakfast, and Bucky’s dinner, is a little more difficult with your aching body but if Steve notices any of your wincing he thankfully doesn’t say anything. You take the half pill that he offers then with Cooper on your heels trudge back upstairs. It takes you longer to get comfortable this time, you’re still awake when Steve and Bucky come to bed. You hear them talking quietly, you can’t really make out what they’re saying but Steve sounds annoyed. You can feel his irritation through the door and you’re worried you’ve done something. Hopefully you didn’t get him into any trouble with the other firefighters for leaving early.

You end up falling into a half sleep as the sun rises in the sky. You still hear everything going on around you but you can’t react, it’s a terrible way to sleep. You’re pretty sure you hear Steve open the door to check on you at some point, his scent invading the room when he cracks the door open. You relax further and finally fall into a restful sleep.

You wake up around one, Cooper is still laying at your feet when you stretch but he hops down and makes his way to the door with a wagging tail. You groan softly as you sit up, then make your way slowly to the door. You let Cooper out then struggle into your robe your arm aching. You make your way down to the kitchen to feed Cooper and find your bottle of pills full of halves. It makes you smile to see that Steve had taken the time to cut them, you take two of the halves, you’re not going anywhere today so you don’t need to be especially awake.

You do some drawing for your new book, it’s almost done and you couldn’t be more excited. Your deadline is in three days and with only two pages left to draw you’re feeling pretty good about everything. You’ve even decided what your next book is gonna be about, the therapy dogs that are coming in for the firefighters. You won’t use Cooper or any of the other dogs real names but you’re going to share the story.

You must fall asleep on the couch, when you wake Sam is in the kitchen humming away as he cooks. A warm ice pack falls off of your shoulder as you sit up, you grab it then move slowly to your feet. When you wander into the kitchen Sam gives you a broad smile,

“Mornin’ sleeping beauty. How do you feel?”

“Sore. Do you want me to take over?”

“Nah, Fawn. Buck said you didn’t even move when he let Cooper out and left. He did make sure you were breathing and put the ice on your shoulder. He said he wants to check it if you’re okay with that tomorrow before he leaves.”

“It’s just a deep bruise.”

“Yes but our Alpha told us to take care of you so we will.”

“Your Alpha? But you’re all Alphas?”

“Steve is a True Alpha.” Sam explains, “I thought he’d told you.”

“No, so he’s like, the leader of your pack?”

“Exactly.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“He’s the boss.” Sam says with a shrug, “you like gumbo?”

“Can he Alpha command anyone?”

“Yea, but he wouldn’t. Not without good reason.” You’re almost positive that Steve must’ve Alpha commanded Grant.

“But he can.”

“Yes, why?”

“I think he did.”

“Who?”

“I mean, other than me. I think he Alpha commanded one of the doctors at the ER.” When Sam glances at you over his shoulder you look down at the warm ice pack you’re still holding. “Grant Ward, he’s my ex. He wanted to mate me but I just couldn’t, and he’s been making my life hard ever since.”

“You’re not a Beta are you.” Sam says softly and you look up at him in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“Steve has been off, like he’s protecting an Omega but Bucky and I couldn’t figure it out because you smell like a Beta.”

“Please don’t say anything. If the town finds out I’m going to have every stupid Alpha at my door.”

“Not with Steve here you won’t.”

“You’re not going to be here forever. When you leave they’ll be all over me.” You tell him hurrying to his side, “Please don’t say anything!”

“I won’t, none of us will.” He promises and you give his arm an appreciative squeeze.

“Thanks Sam. And I do like Gumbo, thank you for cooking.”

“Of course Fawn. If you wanna keep working on your book I can let you know when the food is done.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yup.” So you do as he says and get back to work on your book. You’re on the last page when you hear him call for you.

“Thank you again for cooking. It smells amazing.”

“If I let Carol cook we’d both die.”

“She’s not much of a cook?”

“No, not at all.” He admits with a laugh, “I love the woman but she can’t cook.”

“Is it hard being in an Alpha-Alpha pair?”

“I don’t think so, but it’s definitely a choice we make to make it work.”

“Sorry, that was a very personal question.”

“I don’t mind, I’d imagine things are pretty traditional here.” You nod, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Why aren’t you mated?”

“I’ve dated but after the shit with Grant I think I’m just scared. All the Alphas around here want an Omega and they think I’m a Beta so they don’t really look my way.”

“Are you just waiting for an Alpha?”

“No, if I met the right Beta that would be fine too.”

“Which of us smells best?”

“Nope,” you tell him with a laugh, “I’m not going there.”

“I had to try.” He tells you with a grin of his own.

“All I’ll say is that none of you smell bad. All comforting.”

“Good.” Sam says with a nod and you finish the meal in comfortable conversation. You shoo him out of the kitchen when you’re both done. Insisting that he go to bed so he’s rested for his morning shift. You take another half of a pain pill then start doing the dishes. You finish your last drawing then send everything to your publisher so they can check it over. By the time that’s done it’s nearly ten and Steve should be home soon.

You get off the couch and follow Cooper to the back door. When you open it Coop doesn’t move, just stares out into the darkness.

“In or out Coop.” You tell him and he ambles out into the yard. You close the door and head back to the kitchen to grab a bowl of Gumbo to start heating for Steve. You go back to the back door and when you open it you find Cooper isn’t alone in the backyard.

“Hi Omega.”

“What.” You gasp as Brock moves closer to your house. “Cooper!”

“I think he got out.”

“What? Cooper!” You call shutting the door in Brock’s face you lock it and hurry into the living room. The front door opens and Steve comes in, Cooper trailing behind him. “Oh, oh thank god. Oh Steve thank you.”

“He was hanging out in the front. How did he get out?”

“I don’t know.” Steve tenses, “Brock is out back. He apparently knows I’m an Omega.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He goes to go past you and upstairs when you catch his wrist with your right hand.

“No! Please make him go away. I don’t know how he found out I was an Omega but he did. I don’t want him here Steve.”

“You want him gone?”

“Please Alpha.” You whisper and Steve nods before going to the back of the house.

Tag list:

@memyselfandmaddox @thefanficfaerie @patzammit @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @killcomet @thesassmisstress @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @dumblani @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @giggleberts @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @connie326 @inkedaztec @eralen @valsworldofcreativity @strangersstranger @blackwidownat2814

[jobean12-blog]

Lumberjack in Love

Pairing: Bucky x reader (Lumberjack AU)

Word Count: 1,580

Summary: You’re new to town and you meet your very first neighbor. 

Author’s Note: This is for the HBC’s @the-ss-horniest-book-club drunk drabbles and clean up the archive challenge. It took me a minute to grab his great prompt up buy my lovely friend @eurynome827 totally inspired me and boom here it is. Hope you enjoy. I really liked writing this! Thank you all so very much for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤ My beautiful divider is by my love @imerdwarf

Warnings: sweet and soft fluff, shy Bucky being a sweet hunk of beefy goodness :)

As you sit on the small porch of your new house and look around you still can’t believe the beauty of the mountains. It’s early Spring so the mornings are still chilly, and you pull your blanket scarf tighter around your shoulders.

A distant bark catches your attention, and you squint through the trees to see a white fluff bounding right toward you. Your first instinct is to run into the house but then you hear the deep voice of the man running after the animal and you pause.

As they get closer you can clearly see it’s a large dog and instantly relax.

“Winter! Come back here right now!” the man yells just as the dog happily trots up your steps.

He nudges his nose under your hand for a pet and you can’t help but oblige.

“Winter!” the man growls and you instantly look up.

And you keep looking up for what feels like miles until you reach the crystal blue eyes of the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. His long chestnut hair is pulled back into a low bun, but a few pieces have come loose and now frame his perfectly shaped jaw.

Your eyes wander over his plump lips and dark beard before you take in the rest of him. The soft flannel he wears is pulled tight over his broad shoulders and chest with the sleeves rolled up and barely containing his biceps.

The leather belt at his waist is worn and soft but seems pointless when the dark jeans he’s wearing are practically painted onto his thick thighs.  Heavy boots cover his feet as they seem to continuously shuffle back and forth while you shamelessly check him out.

You stand and hold out your hand, introducing yourself. At first he just stares at you then down at your hand before wiping his own on his pants. His large hand closes around yours, the warmth and strength sending a new wave of appreciation through you.

“Hi, I’m Bucky,” he says quietly, holding onto your hand a bit longer than necessary before quicky letting go and shuffling on his feet again.

“It’s nice to meet you Bucky,” you reply, pointing at the dog. “And who is this?” you ask.

“Oh! Right. That’s Winter. Sorry about that. He took off after a squirrel and then he must have caught your scent. There aren’t too many people around here so…” he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“He’s beautiful,” you gush, scratching Winter behind the ears but never taking your eyes from Bucky.

His tongue darts out to lick his lips and his mouth opens but nothing comes out. After a few more seconds of silence, he seems to find his voice.

“Thanks! He’s a good boy, just adventurous. I hope he uh, didn’t disturb you or anyone else,” he mumbles, gesturing toward your house.

“Not at all,” you assure him. “It’s just me and I’m happy he came to say hello and brought you along too. You’re the first neighbor I’ve met.”

“I think I’m your only neighbor,” he laughs. “I’m just about a quarter of a mile that way and I think the next house might be two and half miles passed me.”

“Well, I’m glad it’s you. And Winter is just a bonus,” you flirt.

The pink that creeps up his cheeks only makes you like him more and can’t stop your giggle.

“I’m about to make some blueberry muffins. Could I bring you some when they’re done?” you ask. “I can’t eat them all myself.”

“Yeah! I love muffins! Thank you,” he replies with a lopsided grin.  

“Ok great! I’ll see you soon,” you cheer, giving him a beaming smile. “Just that way right?” you ask him, pointing at the path in the trees.

“Huh?” he answers, staring and blinking a few times. “Oh, yea. My house. It’s uh, yep just down that path, can’t miss it.”

He shoves his hands in his jean pockets and kicks at some imaginary dirt.

“Ok then, I’ll see you soon Bucky and Winter,” you say and start to walk up your steps.

He waits for you to get to the door and open it before waving and jogging off, Winter hot on his heels.

When the blueberry muffins are baked and still warm you pack them up with some butter and start the short walk to Bucky’s house. The path is lined with stones and the tall evergreen trees create a beautiful aromatic frame along the dirt. The sound of cracking wood reaches your ears the closer you get.

At the end of the path the land opens up to large piece of green grass with the perfect log cabin sitting at the back. You smile when you see Winter sitting on the porch, his big and fluffy tail thumping loudly on the wood.

You look to the right and finally see the source of the sound. Bucky stands over a pile of wood and a large tree stump, wielding a large axe with ease. He brings it up above his head and swings it down, splitting the wood perfectly.

It’s hard to tear your eyes away from him and the way his muscles move under the tight clothing. It isn’t until Winter’s cold nose hits your leg that you look away and start walking again.

Winter’s happy barks pull Bucky’s attention from the wood and he turns to you. He sets down the axe and comes over to take the basket from your hands.

“Hi again,” he says sweetly, quickly looking at the muffins before his eyes meet yours again. “I’m glad you came back.”

You hook your arm through his. “Of course, I did,” you state obviously and pull him toward the porch. “Who else am I going to share these muffins with.”

He chuckles and dips his head, unable to hide the permanent flush on his cheeks whenever he’s around you.

“We could sit on the porch swing if you want. Or if it’s too cold you’re welcome to come in,” he tells you. “I could make tea. Do you drink tea? I also have coffee if you prefer. Or something cold? I should have lemonad…”

He’s about to go on but you reach up and place your hand on his cheek.

“Tea is just fine Bucky, thank you,” you say softly. “And we can sit out here. It’s so beautiful and the sun is warm.”

He nods a few times before rushing into the house to make the tea. You sit on the swing and prepare the muffins, gently pushing yourself back and forth with your foot. Winter lays just a few feet away in a warm patch of sunshine.

“Ok, hot tea coming right up,” Bucky says as he pushes the screen door open with his butt.

He sits opposite you on the bench, the basket of muffins between you and places the cups on the small table to the side.

“I brought honey, milk and sugar. I hope one of those will be ok,” he says.

“Perfect, thank you! I hope you like the muffins. I have butter for them too,” you say, holding one up on a napkin.

He takes it and has a bite, the crumbling dough breaking apart and getting stuck on his lips and in his beard.

“Wow. These are amazing,” he raves before taking another large bite.

You move the basket from between your bodies and shift closer to him. You bring your fingers up to his chin and lightly brush off the crumbs before swiping your thumb over his lips.

“They’re very crumbly and messy,” you explain, letting your gaze settle on his mouth before taking a bite of your own muffin.

“They’re perfect,” he stammers, clearly reacting to your touch.

His eyes watch as your tongue traces your lips to clean them of crumbs and he audibly swallows.

“These are amazing,” he mumbles, unmoving.

“You said that already,” you tease, squeezing his bicep before reaching for a cup of tea.

“Did I?” he says, more to himself than you. “I did. Didn’t I?”

You nod with a giggle and take a sip of tea. Winter trots over and rests his nose on the edge of the swing, clearly waiting for someone to share.

“Can I give him a piece?” you ask.

“Sure,” Bucky replies, laughing when Winter scarfs down the piece of muffin in one bite. “That’s one of the ways we��re the same. He loves to eat as much as I do.”

You throw your head back with a laugh.

“Well, that works out just great for me because I love to bake and cook!” you tell him. “As a matter of fact, I’m making pot pie for dinner. You should join me.”

Bucky doesn’t hesitate for a second when he answers.

“I’d love that. Pot pie is on of my favorites.”

You take one last sip of your tea before standing and covering the muffins.  

“The rest are for you,” you say, pushing the basket toward him. “And I have a feeling you’ll say that about a lot of the things I make,” you say playfully. “I’ll see you at 6 sharp then?”

“Yes, definitely,” he whispers, his eyes going wide when you lean in to place a soft kiss to his cheek.

“See you then, Bucky. And don’t forget to bring Winter and an appetite,” you yell as you head back down the path to your house.

@addikted-2-dopamine @bugsbucky​ @book-dragon-13​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ @fxckbuckyscoming​ @hiddles-rose​ @jhangelface0523​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @jewels2876​ @littleredstarfish​ @lookiamtrying​ @lorilane33​ @loricameback​ @la-cey @marvelgirl7​ @nano--raptor​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @randomfandompenguin​ @cherryblossomskye​ @tuiccim​ @whatrambles​ @white-wolf1940​

[musical-broken-heart]

Mental Breakdowns and Hair Cuts

Ships: Henry/Patrick side Reddie and Stenbrough

Age: Bowers=16 Losers=13

TW: Slurs, Panic Attacks, Self Harm, Mental Breakdowns, Abuse

Clenching his fists he fell to the floor sobbing. Holding himself he curled up next to the bathtub slowly his hands found his hair and he tried pulling it out of his scalp. 

He needed to die! All he did was hurt people but he couldn't help himself. He needed to get his anger out and he didn't want to talk about it nor did he want to hurt his friends the only people who cared about him. 

The past few weeks he had the same nightmare of Patrick going into the sewer and being eaten alive by a monster made of fear itself. That same monster possessed him in his dreams and made him kill Oscar and his friends. He hated his father but he would never think of killing him. He may have been abusive but he was all Henry had after his mother just left. He normally woke up screaming drenched in sweat the vivid image of his friends in the car their necks slit their blood on his hands and Patrick decaying next to him still haunting him. 

He was weak. He was a faggot. He needed to die! Death scared him. Thats why he never cut deep. Thats why he mended his own wounds before he could bleed out. Standing up he looked in the mirror seeing his bloodshot eyes and tear-stained face. Grabbing the scissors he started cutting off his mullet. Once he cleaned his new hair cut to look like a professional had done it he looked in the mirror again hoping to see someone new only finding a broken boy staring back at him. 

"Henry get up! Get your ass to school!" Oscar yelled. Henry didn't think twice before putting the sweater on and throwing the hood over his head. Running out of the house he walked to Vic's house as normal both waiting for Belch to come to get them. 

"I remember watching you cut the hoods off all your sweaters," Victor said not moving his eyes from Henry and the black sweater. "That sweater looks a few sizes too big for you are you sure it's yours?" he asked his blond hair falling over his eye. "Why do you care? I found it in my roo- house!" Henry growled. Victor was a smart kid who could figure anything out if given enough time. 

"It's Patricks isn't it?" he asked causing Henry to go red. "Yea he left it at my house I was cold and all my sweaters are cut up so I just borrowed his jacket! Shut up!" Victor smiled and hummed nodding his head. "He may be a sociopath but once he realizes that's his jacket he's gonna get a boner." Vic laughed as Henry started coughing. "Why the fuck would you say that?!" Henry asked leaning over trying to get a breath. 

"Get in assholes!" Patrick yelled as Belch drove up. "Where'd you get the jacket?" Belch asked getting the middle finger from Henry. Victor giggled and leaned over whispering like a little girl at a sleepover. Belch smiled and smirked at Henry who blushed harder. Thankfully Patrick ignored the situation. But Belch had to say something. "Hey, Pat what happened to your jacket?" Henry glared at him. "I think I left it at Henry's," Patrick said not bothering to look at his friend. Henry sighed and slouched down in relief. 

Patrick looked over realizing Henry was wearing the jacket. It was too big for him causing him to look like a child. Patrick blushed and started to laugh so Victor wouldn't notice. "You look like a drug dealer in my jacket Puppy!" Henry rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Whatever Hockstetter!" 

Pulling into school the four walked only for Henry to get pulled aside by a teacher. "No hoods in school Henry!" 

Groaning Henry took the hood down but refused to meet anyone eyes. "Whoa, your old man finally get sick of the mullet?" Victor joked pulling his friend close patting his back. "Shut up!" Henry growled pushing his friend away. "Hey, Bowers finally cut that fucking mullet? About time!" Richie shouted getting Eddie to shush him. "Shut up faggot! You should really listen to your faggot friends and keep that stupid mouth shut!" Henry yelled. Stan stepped forward and pulled his friend back. "What's your problem asshole?!" Henry chuckled and grabbed Bill. "Your faggot boyfriend and his stupid stutter is my problem! Along with all your faces!" he said pushing Bill ontop of Stan. 

Belch and Vic chuckled ready to grab one of the Losers but Henry stopped them going to their lockers. "Where'd Patrick go?'' he asked leaning against his locker. "Don't know he rushed off when you took the hood off. Said he had some school work." Belch said getting Henry and Vic to look at him. "What? OH!" he said realizing what he said. "I'm gonna go look for him," Henry mumbled starting to walk away. 

Looking around the hallway someone covered his mouth and pulled him into the bathroom. "Why did you do it? Do you like to torture me Puppy?" Henry sighed and shook the boy off him. "I don't know what you're talking about!" he hissed. Patrick grabbed Henry's wrist and pulled him close curling his fingers under the smaller boys chin lifting his face up. With his other arm, he wrapped it securely around Henry's waist keeping him close. "Don't you seeHoney? I love you!" he whispered bringing their lips together. Henry's eyes widened and tried to pull away but only ended up being pushed against the wall with no hope of escape. 

Patrick slowly pulled away and arm still wrapped around Henry to other on the wall next to Henry's head. "Patrick get off of me." Henry tried to yell but ended up sounding defeated. Patrick smiled and started attacking the boy's neck causing him to moan. "You look so hot with short hair," Patrick said starting to run his hand under the sweater causing the leader to squirm and whimper. "Patrick! Stop! You-you, don't know what love is! You're fucking psychotic!" Henry growled once again trying to push his friend off him. 

Patrick pulled away looking hurt grabbing Henry's wrists and pinning them above his head. "I'm not a psychopath! I'm a high functioning sociopath. Honey, you should know this." Henry shivered and tried to move his legs but Patrick caught on and pressed his knees against the boy's legs. "I know enough about love to know that the first time I saw you standing with Victor under that pine tree and my heart tried to leave my chest I would die for you. Kill for you!" Patrick whispered in Henry's ear. 

Henry bit his lip and looked at the floor. "Pat. You might know what love is but I don't." Patrick sighed and brought his lips to Henry's again this time he stopped. "I don't want to rush you Puppy," he said softly. Henry smiled and connected their lips this time the kiss was sweet and soft. "Should I grow out a mullet?" Henry asked. "Don't! You look like a sweetheart with short hair. You also look really hot in my sweater!" Patrick said getting a chuckle from Henry. "Thanks for forgetting it, Pine Tree. My dad would have killed me. Probably wouldn't compare to last night." Henry said going for another kiss but Patrick pulled away. 

"What do you mean compare to last night?" Henry realized his mistake and laughed. "D-did I say that? I meant um. Compare to the abuse some kids get definitely not me?" Henry said quickly. Patrick growled and pulled away from Henry who pulled him back kissing him. "Honey I have to go kill your father. I can't have someone hurting you." Patrick said between kisses. Henry moaned into the kiss his arms around Patrick's neck. "Pat! I can't have him die!" Henry said as Patrick slowly grabbed his legs lifting him up. "Why not Honey? He's hurting you." Patrick said. 

"I've had dreams," Henry whispered as Patrick moved to his neck again leaving marks. "Tell me about them," Patrick said. Henry moaned in delight his head falling back. "You die. By a creature made out of fear. It possesses me a-and I kill Vic and Belch and my old man." Henry said. Patrick stopped kissing the boy and held him closely. "Puppy look at me. It's okay. I'm not dead I'm right here." Patrick said holding Henry closely as the leader shook. "You alright honey?" he asked lifting the boys head. 

"Pat. What are we?" Henry asked looking to the side. "If you want we could be boyfriends?" Patrick said getting a small nod from Henry. "God I love you!" Patrick said starting to kiss the boy again. Running his hands on his waist he slowly moved down to his thighs getting a small yelp from Henry. "You started cutting again," Patrick said. "I-I never stopped. It helps me get passed, my dads beatings." Henry whimpered. "Puppy promise me you'll stop." 

Henry nodded and kissed Patrick again. "Pine Tree I have to get to class!" Henry said pulling away. Patrick grabbed him and wrapped his arms around the boy. "I have to go, darling!" Henry whined kissing him. "Miss one day of classes for me!" Patrick said getting a sigh from the boy. "I can get Belch's keys to the car." Henry groaned. 

Patricks POV

A few weeks ago I left my sweater at Henry's. I knew it was in his living room so I went over while his father was out to find the house empty. Walking into Henry's room I found him sleeping and not wanting him to wake up finding me staring at him I looked in his closet quickly. Sighing I turned back to the bed finding his arms wrapped around a blanket. Chuckling I went to leave before looking back seeing it was my jacket I forgot. Blushing I turned around and quickly left. 

Getting outside I stood on the porch and ran my hands through my hair. Goddamnit, he was hot! I went home but I couldn't get him out of my mind. Groaning I fell onto my bed burying my face in my pillow. Maybe if I try hard enough I can convince my parents to move. 

The next few weeks went by and Henry wore my sweater. It was too big for him causing him to look like a drug dealer. "Whatever Hockstetter!" he growled his face red. Turning my focus back to the window I smiled. 

A teacher told him to take off the hood and I didn't think twice about it. Glancing at him I quickly looked at him again. He no longer had a mullet and damnit he was hot! "Uh I-I think I have s-some school work to um to work on." I stammered out to Belch only getting a nod from him as Henry started yelling at Richie and the other Losers. 

Quickly walking to the bathroom and leaned against the sink looking in the mirror. My face was a bright shade of red and my eyes dilated. Groaning shook my head trying to get Herny off my mind. He hates fags and finding out his friend was gay for him! 

I walked out and saw him looking for me. Grabbing him I pulled him into the bathroom. I don't know what came over me but I confessed. I kissed him! He didn't get mad. "Patrick stop! You-You, don't know what love is! Your fucking psychotic!" he said. I stopped and looked at him. It hurt hearing him say that. Shaking my head he was wrong! I might have been crazy but I still knew that I loved him. I saw tears in his eyes but I couldn't tell if he was sad angry or happy. "You might know what love is. But I don't," he said softly looking to the side. 

I don't want to rush him. He's gone through a lot. He smiled softly and kissed me. Starting to make out he chuckled thanking me for leaving the jacket. I knew about his father being cruel but I thought he had stopped the abuse. "I'm going to kill him!" I growled out loud. Henry's eyes widened and he shook his head. "N-no! I need him! You can't kill him!" he said quickly surprising me. I nodded and held him close. "Please Pat!" he said tears starting to roll down his face. 

Dreams. He explained how he had nightmares about me dying. A monster eating me in the seers then making him a puppet killing the others. Kissing him I went to lift his legs and he let out a painful groan. "Puppy you started cutting again?" he shook his head. "I-I never stopped," he said looking ashamed. Trying to get to class I stopped him. "Skip one day. For me?" I said kissing his neck. "I can try and get the car keys from Belch." 

In the car, he sat on top of me kissing my bare chest while I kept my arms tightly wrapped around his naked torso running my fingers through his now short hair. "You like to bite don't you puppy?" he rolled his eyes and started for my neck leaving more marks. "Mmm stop moving so much!" he mumbled starting to kiss my lips. 

Getting a tighter grip on him I like his lips asking for him to open which he did instantly letting me have dominance. "Something wrong Puppy?" I asked. "Just tired," he replied kissing me again. I hummed in response exploring his mouth again with my tongue. Moaning into the kiss I sat up causing him to almost fall off the seat. 

"You two better not have had sex in my car!" we heard someone say. Breaking from the kiss Henry whined in protest and glared at Belch who just laughed. "Does this mean I get to sit in front?!" Victor asked joy in his voice. Henry let go of me and grabbed the sweater putting it on and jumped in front. "Keep dreaming Vic!" he said only getting an annoyed groan from the boy. 

"You misses the entire day of school and you're saying you didn't have sex?!" Belch asked getting a nod from Henry. Driving to his house he got out and started walking to his door. "Wait! Don't leave just yet." I said watching Henry walk in and close the door. "Pat I'm sure your new boyfriend is fine." Belch said glaring at me. "I'm gonna go get my sweater back anyway," I said getting out of the car walking to the house. 

Henry stood still in the entrance of the house shaking visibly. Oscar was walking around shaking his head breathing heavily. "Hey, Pat the door locked?!" Victor yelled I only shook my head getting him and Belch to run over. 

"Why the fuck are you like this?! You are a damn mistake and I think it's about time I got rid of you!" Butch yelled slapping his son across the face. "You gotta lot of nerve coming home wearing a faggots sweater! Coming home your hair like that! You are a failer!" he yelled again. 

Victor had covered his mouth his eyes wide and Belch looked ready to kill the man. "I thought Henry said the beating stopped?!" Victor whispered. "He lied. He told me they just weren't as bad." I replied trying to figure out how to get in without him getting hurt more by my presents. "Clearly they aren't as good! They seem to be worse! What are you doing just standing out here?! You are his boyfriend!" Belch said also in a quiet tone knowing the gravity of the situation. Opening my mouth I stopped hearing Butch speak again. 

"I never should have stopped you from killing yourself!" he growled causing me to snap. I opened the door and ran to Henry grabbing him and pushing him over to Victor who held him. He looked between all of us confused but didn't fight back. "Oh so now the faggot needs some protection, does he?! I'll shoot him right here and not give a shit what happens!" he yelled pulling out a gun pointing it at Henry. 

"Butch your drunk!" Belch yelled trying not to start a fight. Glaring he pulled the trigger and Henry let out a scream of pain falling to the floor holding his side which was now bleeding. "You asshole! You shot your own son!" I yelled swinging at him. Stumbling back he held his face and pointed the gun at me and Belch but Victor grabbed it from him pointing it at him. Vic's hands were shaking but he tried to steady them. Butch growled and lifted his hands ready to hit one of us but he didn't. 

Henry had his arms wrapped around his father as if trying to stop him, tears rolling down his face. "Please." he sobbed quietly as his father looked at him stunned. "Please no more pain! Just one day without any violence. Please father. I don't want this life anymore so please stop!" he begged his voice only full of sincerity. Butch sighed and turned around to fully face his son who was still bleeding out. "Sometimes. You can be so much like your mother. Which is why I stopped you from killing yourself. You don't have the heart of a killer. Victor!" He said getting the boy to jump. 

"Give me my gun! Get the first aid kit in the kitchen. Huggins, Hockstetter! Start getting Henry's things. First thing tomorrow you're moving out." Henry's eyes widened and he smiled hugging his father who stepped back and hesitantly hugged back. "I might as well be a good father once in my life!" he mumbled pulling away and leaving. Victor grabbed henry and pulled off the sweater and shirt and started mending at the gunshot. 

"I think I might need to see a doctor," he mumbled glaring at his side. I walked over to him and sighed in relief seeing him smile a little. "Your sweater kinda got a little bloody. Sorry." he laughed. I shrugged and hugged him. "HEY! Stop moving! Patrick! I'm trying to mend his wound and you aren't gonna become a Disney princess and sing away the blood!" Vic hissed getting me to hold my hands up in surrender. 

"Henry! What do you want me to pack?!" Belch yelled form the boy's room. Henry looked over his shoulder and slapped Victor away getting a glare from him. "I'm not done patching you up!" he growled getting a shrug from Henry. "NO! I'm going to mean you up then you can walk around then you can sit in a hospital bed!" Victor said grabbing the leader. "Okay mom!" he said rolling his eyes. 

"Okay there!" Victor said after a few minutes. Henry shot up and ran to his room. "I NEVER SAID YOU COULD FUCKING RUN AROUND!" Victor yelled after him knowing his friend would ignore him. "You better listen to Victor before he hurts you more," I said holding Henry close to me. "Pine Tree can I stay with you?" he asked kissing my neck. "Yea I suppose you could spend a few nights over at my house." I joked getting him to chuckle a little. 

"Thanks, Pine Tree." he smiled. I rolled my eyes and kissed his forehead. "Whatever Puppy."

[alynomali]

Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader  “𝚏𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜”

A/N : Hi hello i just got into tumblr and this is my first time writing a full on one shot in english because english is not my first language ;( so i’m sorry if there’s any error in my writing but i hope you guys can still enjoy the story :D anyway i’m on an iwaizumi hajime brainrot and i know y’all too so let’s just get into ittt ***** 

Genre : Fluff 

Word Count : 5k 

You woke up feeling lightheaded. You brought the back of your palm to feel your forehead that was burning hot hours ago. But after four hours of sleep and taking your medicine, the heat has subsided and was replaced by your normal body temperature. You sighed in relief but you still didn’t want to step up from your comfortable bed. Instead you rolled to the side to grab your phone that was laying on the nightstand, to get some info on school assignment, or any big news that you missed throughout today from your friends because you didn’t manage to go to school. When you turned off airplane mode, tons of messages from your close friend’s group chat rang loudly with multiple  ringing sounds, coming one after another. When the ringing finally stops, you open the group chat and skim through the chat bubbles your friends sent, curious to what they are discussing.

“Oh? They lost?” you murmur to yourself after getting an understatement. Today is the match of your school’s volleyball team against Karasuno High School. From the people who went and saw the match, it was pretty intense and they were neck to neck to one another. But in the end Karasuno won and they only a point difference from Aoba Johsai. The further you read the chats, one caught your attention

 I saw Oikawa toss the ball to Iwaizumi from the right end of the court and Iwaizumi got to spike it perfectly! That was crazyy

 Yeah, but even with that perfect toss and powerful spike, Karasuno managed to get it. Both team are crazyyy

 I saw Iwaizumi-kun cried In the hallway, poor him. He must’ve think that that one spike was important

 Aww no

 You slowly sat up from your bed, while still reading those lines over and over again. “Iwaizumi…” you mumbled to the air. You then checked the clock hanging on your bedroom wall, you saw that it was 7.56PM. ‘He should be home already..’

 You heard a knock on your door, and your mom peeked through. “Oh you’re awake! How are you feeling?”

“Great! My fever is gone”

“If that’s so, can you go to Hajime’s house? His mother and father are working late and he probably hasn’t had dinner, so drop these for him okay?” asked your mother while holding a nicely wrapped box probably filled with food.

 “Uh yeah okay. I’ll get ready”

 It is not a secret. To you, your close friends, and specifically Oikawa Tooru, that you have a crush on Iwaizumi Hajime. This has been going on for a long time, since the beginning of second grade. You got to be in the same class as Iwaizumi. At first you were a bit scared of him due to the somewhat tense atmosphere surrounding him, but turns out, he is the nicest guy you ever met. He spoke in a deep and gruff voice, but there’s so much tenderness in the way he speaks. His arms and hands are big and calloused from playing too much volleyball, but whenever he accidentally touches you, he is always so careful with his grip, or makes sure that he doesn’t touch you in an inappropriate way. His tall figure always towers over your 160 cm figure, but it made you feel secure. And there are many small acts he does to you that always make something in your stomach flip. You know that those are just the way he respects the opposite gender (from your observation), but it still made him so attractive to you. Plus he looks cute and manly although not you can call a worldwide handsome. Also  He probably hid a well toned body underneath the layers of cloth he wears. Before you got too far and deep into your thoughts of that man, you quickly shook your head to focus on your current mission right now. Iwaizumi probably is sulking as hell right now and you want to do something nice for him, or maybe just there to give him reassurance.

 iwaizumi’s house is just seven minutes walk from your house. Before you rang the bell, you noticed that the gate was not locked. “Did he forget to lock it?” you opened the gate and made your way to the also not locked door. You saw his training bag in the hallway entrance, meaning that Iwaizumi is home. But you were glad that there were no signs of robbery. “Iwaizumi?” you called him. The living room and dining room were clean and empty. Not even a slightest sound was heard. “He’s probably in his room”. You climbed up the stairs and saw that the door of his room is slightly open and you could see him inside drying his hair with a towel, back facing you

You knocked on the door and Iwaizumi jumped slightly. “y/n? How did you get in?”. You sighed, “You left the front door and gate open,”. “Oh.., wait here then I’ll go lock it,” Iwaizumi then went downstairs leaving you sitting alone in his room on his study chair. You’ve gone to his bedroom a couple times but this time it feels different. The room is filled with his scent of cologne and shampoo from his shower earlier. You carefully breathe it in and a blush crept to your cheeks, just in time Iwaizumi stepped back in the room “Okay wha- wait, why are your face red?”

You flustered, “What! N-No I’m perfectly fine! Maybe it’s because of my fever earlier, hahahaha.”

Iwaizumi raised a brow, “Okay? Anyway, why are you here?” he asks as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance from you.

“O-Oh yea, um, my mother made you dinner. She said that your parents will be home late,” you said holding up the wrapped box in your hand.

“I already ate but i guess there’s still space for your mom’s cooking. Say my thanks for her,” you smiled at his words.

“Should I walk you back? It’s dark.”

“What? No, it’s not even 8pm and my house is just seven minutes away.”

“Okay then, thankyou again. Be careful on your way back.”

‘Wait? No no no no, I can’t just go home like this. He’s probably not going to eat his food and be sulking instead,” You stood up. Iwaizumi thought you were going to leave so he grabbed his phone on the nightstand and got comfortable on his bed with his back resting against the headboard. He didn’t sense your figure leaving his room so his eyes left his phone to look at you, “why are you still here? It’s not appropriate for a girl to stay in a boy’s room.”

“You did very well today, Iwaizumi.”

“huh?”

You clutched your fingers, “You did so well in the match today. I’m proud of you. Never think that you lost because of a big mistake. You didn’t make any mistake. You gave your best as you always do. Winning or losing is just a result. What matters is that even if you lost, you still gave all your might in the court. All of your hard work, your sneaky practices at the park in the late afternoon, it’s all worth it. Because you gave it all in the court today. Nothing goes to waste.”

Your voice was stern, but there’s a hint of tenderness in it. Iwaizumi just looked at you dumbfounded . After a while, Iwaizumi gave you a soft smile “Thanks, sorry we didn’t keep our promise to go to nationals.”

“Don’t mind me. That is your promise to yourself.”

“Right.”

After that, you still stood there. Arms crossed on your chest. Iwaizumi eyed you in confusion. “What…? Is there again?”

You then sat on the bed beside him, arms still crossed on your chest, “You’re gonna cry. I’m gonna stay here to accompany you until you’re done.”

“What?! No, I'm fine, you should go home now.”

“I’m not gonna let you be alone until you feel better,” you said sternly

“W-Wha- ugh..” Iwaizumi turned his face to the side, not facing you as he can no longer contain the tears that have been threatening to fall ever since he was greeted by the emptiness of his house. Because of the silence, replays of today’s match became clear in his mind. Every step, every move, every shout of frustration , every cheer of happiness, and the last whistle signaling the end of the game. It was awfully clear, every bit of it, and it made him feel hopeless. Like there’s nothing that he can do. His shoulder began to shake, and you could hear soft sobs. It’s like he’s holding back to scream because you’re there.

You never actually see Iwaizumi cry and now being alone with him is his weakest state flustering you. You did say that you’re gonna accompany him but now you’re confused as to what to do. You stayed silent, just watching him. He still doesn’t face you and his sobs became softer. You don’t like this, he’s holding back so much because you’re there. This is probably supposed to be his time, when he shut his door, turned off the lights, and curled under the blanket. Letting out all of his frustration into anything he can manage. But then you decided to come. You hate to admit it but you ruined his time.

But still, you didn’t want to leave.

So instinctively, you reached out your hand to touch the back of his neck. You can feel Iwaizumi tensed up a little. As he slowly turned his head to finally look at you, you and your hand up further to the back of his head, fingers buried in his soft brunette hair. Iwaizumi’s red and teary eyes looked at you in slight confusion, and you stared back at him with a pang in your heart. Seeing his hurting expression for the first time feels like something stabbed your chest. ‘So this is what it feels like.. when you care so much about someone..’

Without another hesitation, you lean your body towards him and let his head fall on your shoulder. The warmth of his body envelopes you and you can feel the sturdiness of his body. You wrapped both of your arms on his shoulder, trapping him in a hug. Your fingers stayed buried in his hair as you started to give it a soft scratch in an attempt to soothe him. “I said I’ll accompany you. So vent all you want. I’m listening.”

You couldn’t see iwaizumi’s expression. But you could feel his body relaxed to your soft touches and he began to cry loudly, “Damn it! Damn those Karasuno..! I-I too.. I want to go to the nationals too fucking damn it!! I want to go with my friends too… with my juniors.. damnit! Damnit argh!!” you  tighten your grip on him cause you feel like he’s going to burst. But you’re glad that he doesn’t move away from you. He was always so physical about these things, but now he just uses his words and emotions.

After some minutes, the hurtful scream and cry gradually turns into a soft sobbing. Your grip around his shoulder soften as Iwaizumi slowly moves away from you. “S-Sorry for ranting and um.. hugging you,” he sniffed and rubbed away the remaining tears leaking out.

You smile, “Don’t worry, but it feels good doesn’t it?”. He chuckled softly, “yeah.”

You fiddled with your fingers on your lap, “I’m sure everyone is feeling the same as you, Iwaizumi. I’m sorry I barged in into your supposed to be alone time. But I just couldn’t help it, I just can’t go to sleep tonight thinking about how you will have trouble sleeping. The others maybe will, but I won’t let you. Because you’re-- um..” you immediately stopped your words. Because just now you were just about to say the thing. Being alone with him and getting caught up in the mood urges you to, but you reminded yourself that you can’t do that, not when he’s in this state.

“What about me?” Iwaizumi tilted his head to the side, eyeing you in confusion.

You immediately shot up from his bed and gave him a wide smile, “Nothing! Anyway, enjoy your food. I should get going now,” you said while pointing towards the door.

“Uh? Oh yeah okay, I’ll open the gate for you,” you were tailing behind Iwaizumi as the two of you were heading downstairs. Luckily for Iwaizumi, you couldn’t see heat creeping up to his cheeks and he is starting to register what just happened between you two.

‘Nah, she can’t be…. Right?’

                              ~------------------------------------------------~

 The next day, you woke up from the ringing of your smartphone placed on your nightstand. You didn’t bother to look at the caller ID and just answer, “Ugh.. hello?”

“Did you just wake up?” Iwaizumi’s deep and gruff voice from the other line jolts you up from your sleeping position, “I-Iwaizumi??”

“I want to return the lunch box from last night. I had been ringing the bell but no one came out.”

“Ah right sorry. My parents left early to my grandparents house. I’ll be there wait a second”

When you opened the door you were greeted by the sight of Iwaizumi looking nice and neat in a pair of black jeans and a slightly oversized denim jacket over a grey hoodie. Your breath hitch at the sight of him until he starts talking, “Here” he handed the clean lunch box to you, nicely wrapped as well “The food was good, thank you”

“Yeah, you're welcome. Um.. are you going somewhere?” You asked while accepting the lunch box.

“I’m going to see Karasuno and Shiratorizawa match,” he said, putting his hands inside his pocket.

Concern filled your expression, “Are you feeling alright?”

He smiled softly, “Yeah, I can’t stay bummed out for too long.”

“That’s good then!” You beamed with a smile.

“I’ll be going then. When will your parents come back home?”

“Um.. maybe at night. They said they're gonna be there for a while.”

“And why aren’t you coming with them?” he asks again.

“I’m starting to prepare for the college entrance exam,” you said while rubbing the back of your neck .

“Ah, that’s nice. Well then, goodluck on it. Be careful, if anything happens, call me or Oikawa” he said, turning his back towards you. This soft part of Iwaizumi showing that he cares about you always makes your heart flutter and makes you fell deeper for him.

“Y-Yeah.. thank you..” and with that, you closed the door. You sighed as you tried to calm the loud thumping of your heart.

You mumbled, “Maybe.. I can do it today.. he seems to be in  a good mood.”

You looked down towards the ground, thinking hard, “Confession huh…”

                                     ~----------------------------------~

 Later that day, Karasuno vs Shiratorizawa match ended with Karasuno as the winner thus continuing to the national stage. Surprisingly to Iwaizumi he met Oikawa in one of the seats and now they are walking together out of the gymnasium.

“Hey Iwa-chan~, let’s go grab some food. I’m feeling like shit,” Oikawa said with a scowl on his face, his nose scrunched

“Then don’t come to see the match if you’re gonna be like this!”

“Stop being so rude and treat your best friend nicely for once will ya?!” Oikawa said with his arms folded on his chest.

Iwaizumi sighed, didn’t want to deal with Oikawa’s words any further, “Fine let’s go get something to eat,”

“Yay~! Let’s eat at a fast food restaurant!”

Along the way to the nearest fast food restaurant, Iwaizumi’s mind was wandering everywhere. Oikawa started to notice this because his friend had been bumping into stuff during their short walk. Oikawa bumped Iwaizumi’s shoulder to get his attention. He slightly jolted and he glanced at him, “What?”

“Is there something on your mind?”

“Huh? No, why?”

Oikawa sighed, “Really, Iwa-chan. You should be more honest. You almost stepped on a kid back there.”

Iwaizumi only huffed at Oikawa’s words.

“Is it a girl??”

“Can you shut up.”

“A girl it is!” Oikawa beamed, “Who is it? Who is it??”

“No I’m not thinking of that!” Lies. The truth is he was thinking of you. About what happened last night. About how you gave him the warmest hug he ever received. How you convey your words of comfort to him. He may have kept a dumbfounded face at that time but the truth is thousands of butterflies were raging inside his whole body. He didn’t know if it was because he has a thing for you or if it’s because he was flustered because you’re a girl and he is a boy. He never really thought of fawning over somebody. All he thinks about is just studying and volleyball. Yahaba and Kindaichi always prattle about how much they want a girlfriend but he’s never really into those kinds of conversation. But what if he’s finally getting his first ever love story now? He’ll be damned because he’s never prepared himself for these kinds of things, even though he’s almost 19 years old.

So he decides to swallow hard his ego and eyed his gaudy bestfriend intensely, before he forces words out of his mouth “Um.. O-Oikaw—”

“Oh! Is that y/n-chan?” Oikawa suddenly said as he pointed a finger to get Iwaizumi to also look at where you were standing. Oikawa is about to call you when Iwaizumi suddenly blurted out

“W-Wait! Don’t call her!”

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi confused, but then his lips formed a cheeky grin “Humm?? What’s this?”

Iwaizumi's face turns beet red, “A-Ah! No I-I’m—Um..” Iwaizumi wanted to die instantly at that exact moment because now Oikawa is clearly holding back his laughter. A mischievous grin is plastered on Oikawa’s face as he ignored Iwaizumi and made his way towards you calling out your name, “Y/n-chaann~!”

Iwaizumi gritted his teeth while covering half of his face with his hand “Fuck that shittykawa,”

You were standing on the side, beside the trashcan as you are currently finishing your drink so you can quickly throw it onto the trashcan. Until the familiar voice of Oikawa beamed through the street, making you quickly snap your head to the side to see Oikawa currently walking towards you with Iwaizumi behind him.

“Oikawa! Iwaizumi!”

“Yahoo, what you doing here alone?” asked Oikawa.

“I just came from the bookstore. I’m looking for stuff to help me study,” you answered, throwing your empty drink into the trashcan.

“Me and Iwa-chan are going to eat right now, do you wanna come? Iwa-chan really wants you to come apparently,” Oikawa said wiggling his eyebrows at Iwaizumi.

“HUH?!” Iwaizumi was beating the shit out of Oikawa while you only stood there smiling awkwardly.

“Uhm yeah sure I’ll come.” You answered when they finally calmed down.

“Yay~ okay then let’s goo! And Iwa-chan stop being so jumpy and fidgety will you?”

“I’M NOT! Come on let’s go,” you eyed Iwaizumi worriedly, wondering if you did something wrong. So you reached Iwaizumi's side and asked him “Hey, are you alright?”

“Huh? Oh yeah I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, sorry,” Iwaizumi said as he averted his eyes from you. Iwaizumi is acting weird when you join their walk to the restaurant just now, you didn’t want to think too much into it yet you can feel slight warmth creeping up your cheeks.

“We’re here!” After five minutes the three of them finally arrived at the said fast food restaurant. You offered to find a seat while Iwaizumi and Oikawa went to stand on the line to order. You finally sat yourself down and got yourself comfortable. Unknown to you, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are having their own convo about you.

“Is there something going on between you two?” Oikawa asks.

“…no”

“And I will say this to you over and over again, be honest Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi pondered for a moment before talking in a much quieter tone, “Yesterday.. y/n came to my house.”

Oikawa blinked, “What? Why?”

Iwaizumi grunted, reaching up his hand to rub the back of his neck to somehow ease the heat on his face, “Um.. she actually came to give me food because my parents are home late. And um.. after that…'' Iwaizumi trailed off, hiding his face from Oikawa.

“What! Don’t leave me hanging!” Oikawa then gasps, “Oh my god don’t tell me---!”

Iwaizumi quickly retorts, “No shithead! She just hugged me because she knows that we lost the game yesterday. And um I don’t know how to explain it but at that time, everything feels so intimate and uh- I don’t know…”

“Ohh~ So you’re in love?” Oikawa smirks.

To Oikawa’s surprise Iwaizumi didn’t yell or smack him in the head but only eyed him, “I don’t really know. I mean, I’ve always been so flustered whenever she does something for me. But I don’t know if it’s just because I feel nervous of the opposite sex.”

Oikawa tapped Iwaizumi on the shoulder, “Well my man, it doesn’t matter if you both are the opposite gender. If you don’t feel anything towards her then you will be comfortable in any kind of situation. Don’t worry I got your back, because I know you’re suck at this so I’ll make the chance so you two can have a talk together,” Oikawa said with a wink at the end.

“Ugh.. I can’t believe I’m getting advice from you… you look a hundred times more annoying right now.” Iwaizumi muttered.

“Rude Iwa-chan~!”

Suddenly people around them were silent and started whispering while looking in a certain direction. Oikawa and Iwaizumi stopped their bickering to try and see what’s going on. Not long after, there are two staff coming out from behind the counter to go to a certain table

“Miss, are you alright?”

“We have a change of clothes if you’d like..”

Iwaizumi pushed himself through the people gathering around the scene and saw that it was you. Your outfit was drenched in supposedly a drink, some of the liquid even splat onto the table and on the floor under too, making a mess.

“Y/n!” Iwaizumi goes into full panic as he runs towards you with Oikawa behind.

When they got to your side, Iwaizumi immediately asked, “What happened?! Are you alright?!”

“Yeah.. just now a guy came up to me and tried to ask for my number. I declined it but he just kept pushing me to do so, and I pissed him off so he threw the drink he was holding at me..” you let out a small laugh.

Iwaizumi gritted his teeth and punched his fist onto the table “Where is he now, that jerk!”

“It’s alright Iwaizumi! He already left. I’ll just go and change now, it’s not like things like this never happen anyways,” you gave him a reassuring smile. Iwaizumi looks at you in shock, “I mean for a stranger to hit on me! They are usually never that aggressive. I'll change now okay.” You said standing up from your seat, following the staff to get your change of cloth.

Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh and began to help clean the mess on the table. He shot a glare towards Oikawa who was just standing on the sideline, “What are you doing standing there trashykawa!”

Oikawa only smiled and shrugged, “I just don’t want to ruin your moment. You’d be a good protective boyfriend Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi only grumbled in response.

 After all of that commotion, the three of you still sat down and enjoyed the meal. Even though the staff told you three that the food will be at service, you didn’t think it was necessary so you still have your peaceful lunch with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. The conversation you guys had quickly washed away the tense atmosphere. Oikawa and Iwaizumi talk about the match earlier and how pissed they were that karasuno won. But they seem to be a lot more chill than yesterday so you just laugh it off with them. After that the three of you left the restaurant and walked back to your neighborhood.

You were still talking with Iwaizumi and Oikawa along the way. You seem to not notice but you were talking and smiling towards Iwaizumi more, it has always been like that whenever the three of you hung out. You and Iwaizumi always seem to gravitate towards one another and it’s making Oikawa feel like he’s third wheeling. But he’s not mad though, he finds it cute. Now he’ll just have to give both of them a push.

Oikawa halted his track and cleared his throat, “Guys sorry but I need to go somewhere.”

You and Iwaizumi both stopped talking and stopped your track as well, “Why so sudden, Oikawa?”

“No big deal, I just forgot to buy something my sister asked for. You guys can go home!” Oikawa then lightly put his hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, giving him a thumbs up and a big smile, telling him through his head ‘Good luck Iwa-chan!’

 Iwaizumi’s eyes widened, mouth went agape, ‘Now?! Wait, I’m not ready yet!’

“Bye you guys~!” Oikawa sprinted to the other direction, leaving Iwaizumi and you alone. ‘Damn that trashykawaaa….’

“Let’s go, Iwaizumi ,” you said softly. Iwaizumi quickly became flustered, “Uhh.. yeah right.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence while continuing the walk. You were looking around as you walked while Iwaizumi on the other hand was in deep thought, thinking of how to use this situation to make his move. His train of thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your sweet voice calling out to him, “Iwaizumi, do you want to drop by the park? There is this small taiyaki stand that I want to try.”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi said with a small smile.

It was a quite chilly day and a gush of wind just so happened to pass through you and Iwaizumi. You didn’t have your long sleeved because it was wet from an earlier accident and was replaced by a short sleeved one provided by the staff from the restaurant. They apologize that they didn’t have a much warmer cloth but you reassure them that it’s fine because your house is close by.

In the midst of trying to keep yourself warm by rubbing the side of your arms, you suddenly felt warmth on your back as a jacket draped over your shoulder. You look to the side to see that Iwaizumi took off his outer jacket and gave it to you, “You look uncomfortable, wear this in the meantime,” Iwaizumi muttered softly, trying to press down his embarrassment.

You felt your cheeks heated up, “T-Thankyou..” you slid your arms into the sleeve to wear his jacket properly. It was obviously too big for you and his scent immediately envelopes you.

The two of you reached the park and your face beamed a smile, “Thank goodness not many people here, the other day the line was quite long so I didn’t get it. Come on, Iwaizumi!” you said as you ran happily towards the stand. He smiled softly at the sight of your small figure on his clothes and followed you.

You both sat on a nearby bench eating your taiyaki, “Ah, it’s warm..” you took a bite and hummed in delight. Iwaizumi's heart flutters upon seeing your cute gestures.

“This really worth 350 yen isn’t it, Iwaizumi---” You looked at Iwaizumi and saw that he’s actually looking at you. You froze and felt your heart beat faster at how Iwaizumi looked at you with such adoreness. You went silent for a few seconds, just looking back at Iwaizumi until you whispered. “Um.. is there something on my face?”

“Yeah.. you’re beautiful,” Iwaizumi said softly with no expression.

“W-What?” you were taken aback.

Iwaizumi sighed and looked down to his hands, he fiddled his fingers as he spoke, “I’m not good at this kind of things.. so um..”

You waited for Iwaizumi to finish as your heart beats faster every second making it hard to breathe.

Iwaizumi grunted and rubbed the back of his neck, “Y-You know how you said that you sometimes.. got hit up by a random guy on the street and um.. I was thinking maybe it’ll be easier to brush them off if you.. you uh.. have a boyfriend…”

Your whole face now is red, “O-Okay..?”

Iwaizumi finally faced you, staring into your eyes, “I-I mean to say—I’ll be your boyfriend!”

You went silent and you only stared at him with your mouth agape.

“I have always been so flustered whenever I’m with you, and without noticing I get jealous when a guy approaches you, like I was so mad earlier when a guy—no, I’ll get mad at whoever did something like that to you. So uh.. I’ll be your boyfriend.. if you’d like… so I can always be there for you..” he trailed off towards the end.

You were so taken aback that you just fell silent. Iwaizumi covered his face from embarrassment, “Argh.. that is such an uncute way of confessing, I’m sorry I don’t---”

Suddenly you let out a laugh, Iwaizumi removed his hand from his face to look at you with a pout, “Don’t laugh at me!”

“Sorry sorry! But you are just so cute. I can’t believe you can be this cute,” you said with a smile still plastered on your face.

Iwaizumi grunted, “S-So.. what’s your answer?”

“Hmm.. but I’m kinda upset that you beat me into confessing..”

Iwaizumi’s head snapped towards you, “Wait what?”

“Last night I actually wanted to confess to you, but I thought that the timing would be bad so I’m thinking when I should do it. But it turns out you confess the day after. So I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about you,” you said giggling.

“Well, I guess you do always made me feel better,”

You both fell silent again. Iwaizumi nervously spoke again, “So.. are you saying yes?”

You smiled, giving him a quick peck on his cheek, “Of course~”

Iwaizumi slumped down on his seat, face already overheated, “I guess I have to get used to this..”

                                       ~-----------------------------------~

a/n : arrgghh i can’t believe i finish this, more iwa-chan fics will be coming soon because he’s a precious man :D

[zankivich]

An Unexpected Romance: Chris Evans x Black! Female Reader Part 1

a/n: *sticks head out* omg hi. It’s been a while. A long while. Somehow I am back writing for another white man, a different one this time. We can only hope he does not disappoint as drastically as the last one does. I genuinely have no idea if this is good? I think it’s kinda cute, and I’ve been feeling very traumatized in regards to blackness lately so I really needed some black and brown women having a good time and being happy. We deserve that tbh. There could obvi be another part to this. Let me know if anyone even cares enough for that lol. Okay bye now. 

Part 2 Part 3

There’s an unspoken rule amongst you and your friends. Like a secret code, if you will. If a man hits on you at the bar and you’re not interested, and friends always know when you’re not interested, swarm and diffuse the situation. But? If a man hits on you at the bar and you are interested? Then that is a different story entirely.

It was a Thursday night out with the girls. You were at your favorite bar. It was quiet and quaint but still modern enough to attract a younger crowd. Sometimes there’s nothing better than getting dressed up and sipping on drinks with your girls. No dancing or club hopping or excessive uber rides. Just one bar, shit talk, and a lot of bacardi.

You were all sat directly at the bar in high standing chairs, Your back was turned to the entrance as you listened intently to your friend Tanya complain about her latest Hinge hook up.

“Can you believe I took my fine ass self all the way over to that nigga’s house in satin shorts? Satin! And he had a pizza box on his bedside table and the second he laid me down my back hit a bong. Make it make sense Jesus.”

Tanya was a beautiful Black woman. She was taller than all of you at six feet, and she strutted every step. Her skin was deep espresso and she was almost always rocking a vibrant colored wig that matched a vibrant colored outfit. Tonight’s color was lavender.

“I don’t know how many times we have to tell ya ass to stay away from them white boys.” You snorted, sticking your tongue out in search of your straw.

Your friends, Tanya, Raya, and Jesse all did a collective eye roll in your direction that did not go unnoticed.

“Yes ladies?” You asked with a straightened spine and arched brow.

Jesse was one of them girls you would have hated in high school. Skinny waist, slim thick thighs, and skin so clear that her Puertio Rican skin was only left to dazzle and shine. She had long, tight curls that hung all the way down to her belly button, and she always kept them gelled down and tied back. She, like all of your friends, did not hold back when it came to the group. You were honest, thick as thieves, and frankly a little brutal.

“You don’t even count. Your refusal to go near a white man is excessive and weird.” She cackled. “You're just as bad as Tanya, just on the other end of the spectrum sis.”

“Excuse me? Now Tanya dates boys...I date men. You see the difference? And if I am gone lie in some ivory sheets there’s gonna have to be some extra special attention being paid to me. And trust, there always is.”

You stuck your tongue out lewdly and laughed sending the whole table into a fit of giggles. You all clinked your glasses together and revelled in the atmosphere of melanin, acceptance, and tomfoolery. What a group.

“You tellin’ me that if a fine ass man walked in here right now and checked every box: his own money, his own car, intelligent, funny, etcetera,  and he just happened to be of the vanilla variety you wouldn’t bite?” Raya asked.

Raya was the thickest of the group, voluptuous in every sense of the word and also the only one happily married. She just put up with y’all honestly.

You rolled your eyes through with the conversation already.

“I’m saying...he’d have to be pretty fucking special and pretty fucking dedicated. Men are a headache as it is. I don’t need the added layer of some man pulling at my weave like I’m Lilly Ane from his hometown,  or asking me to do race play in the bedroom. Now I’m going to the bathroom and when I come back I’d like for us to talk about literally anything else? Okay? Okay.”

You slid out of your seat and headed for the bathroom with the grace and power of a woman in her thirties who had managed the insecurities of her younger self and had decided to only live her life revelling in her own excellence.

If Tayna was the darkest of the group you weren't at all far behind. If she was expresso, you were simply an americano with a dash of cream. And you rocked it with a full head of curls that ranged from nappy to bursting with life and moisture depending on both the day and temperature. It was all set upon the shoulders of a woman with curves and hips and chest. It was your body and you loved it endlessly, a matter quite evident in the way you walked.

That night you were wearing a coral pink jumpsuit with a long, flowy kimono and heels to match. Your kimono billowed behind you and made you feel fierce, even on the walk to the bathroom, which is perhaps why you weren’t paying that much attention. One second you’re strutting in the heels that you only wore when there wouldn’t be too much standing, and the next you’re slipping on some liquid that must have been spilt on the floor. Your whole life flashed before your eyes. The wind flew out of your lungs. This was the end…

And then you were caught by the waist. Not caught, more like gripped. Firmly. And perhaps not the waist so much as the hips. You expected to be lying straight on the floor staring up at the ceiling, and instead you were staring at a chest. A firm chest. No not firm. Chiseled might be a better description. So chiseled that your hands began to wander amongst the suit clad flesh before your mind had caught up with you. Heafer.

“Oh my god. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I can’t believe I--”

You peered up into deep blue eyes and let’s not forget that your fingers were still wandering along that chest. Had a chest ever been so broad? No. Not unless you count Captain America apparently.

“Please, I always like to pull a rescue mission before dinner. Makes me feel like I earned my meal.” He grinned down at you.

Chris Evans. What are even the statistical chances? You wouldn’t know, you were too busy drooling.

His hands were still on your hips. Yours still on his chest. And now you were just plain staring at him. Good look.

A waiter with a towel to clean up the mess broke up the moment by clearing their throat and alerting the two of you that you were way too close to one another still.

“Oh--Oh.” You mumbled idiotically. “You’re…”

He nodded. “Chris. And you are?”

“I’m...I’m…”

The waiter snickered under their breath and you realized just how much you were ruining this moment. You straightened your spine and tried to act like you had some sort of sense.

“I’m y/n. Thank you again for the save. I was actually just on my way to the bathroom so I’ll uh let you get back to your night and try not to fall on you again.” You smiled.

“Yea, we definitely wouldn’t want that would we?” He asked.

But the way his face was looking told you maybe he might not mind it after all. Sheesh.

“Okay well uh you have a nice night, Chris.”

You tapped at his hands on your hips and he quickly stumbled back with an apology. It was the first time he looked even the slightest bit flustered in your interaction with him. You found that you liked it.

“You have a nice night too, y/n.”

You smiled at him one final time before walking to the bathroom as you had intended. But he didn't leave your mind the entire time you were there. And not just because it was Chris Evans, it didn’t feel fair to call it star struck. That was too simple, too miniscule.  Instead it was the way his hands had felt on your hips. You had the tendency to lean away from men, didn’t feel comfortable with them when you didn't know who they were. And yet there you had stood, completely at ease in his hold. You couldn’t explain it even to yourself. He had just felt right.

“Of course he felt right, he’s practically a figment of your imagination.” You mumbled to yourself at the sinks.

That was it. He didn’t even count. The only time you ever saw him was on your netflix account, so surely your perception was warped. The reality was that Chris Evans was just another white man who looked good in a sweater. The end.

That’s what you convinced yourself as you walked back to your friend, but not without taking extra precautions against the floor. By the time you arrived back at your table you had done the mental gymnastics needed to completely eliminate him from your system. Good girl.

“Now, I trust you all found something better to talk about while I was away.” You grinned as you slid back into the table.

All of your friends were snickering behind their hands and they wasted no time at all laughing at you.

“Oh did we!” Jesse laughed. “You see we had just moved on to a new topic when a little someone got a drink delivered to the table.”

Your eyes widened as Jesse pushed a glass of what looked like processo closer your way. She then pointed over by the bar leading the entire table to turn that way. Seated by his seat with his arms leaning against the bar, shoulders even broader against the wood, was none other than Chris Evans himself. As if on a Hollywood cue he turned to look at you with a smile that was both innocent and filthy at the same time. He lifted a drink of his own in the air and tilted it in your direction in silent cheers. If you had been ten shades lighter you’da blushed like a schoolgirl. It was ridiculous.

“Now...What was that you were saying about white boys sis?” Tanya asked.

You groaned to yourself softly and plopped your head down in your hands in embarrassment. This was only to notice that your sparkling glass of prosecco was perched upon a napkin with his phone number written upon it. Home boy was slick and he was bold. A man confident enough to come put himself out there, and respectful enough to do it in a way that wasn’t disruptive or rude to your friends nor yourself. It was the sort of thing that made you take notice for sure, which explained why your girlfriends were looking at you like cats that had just discovered the canary.

“What? What?! What?” You gasped at the table, clearly annoyed.

Jesse grinned. “What’chu mean ‘what’, mija! You gone get your mans or what?”

They all giggled and looked clearly in his direction, only embarrassing you further.

“Stop it!” You hissed. “He is not ‘my mans’ by any stretch of the imagination. He probably just feels bad for me slipping. I fell and he caught me. Clearly he’s a gentleman, which is nice but that don’t mean nothin.”

“Girl please! This man done sent you prosecco and a phone number. That’s like a rich modern version of a love letter. You better go talk to that man.” Raya snorted.

Women who hype up other women are the world’s greatest treasure. You loved your friends with everything in you, and you valued all of their intellects greatly. However, this was not a regular-degular man. This was literally a superhero. You had confidence for days, but this was simply a different stratosphere. You were just about to silence your friends again when a ghost must have descended because everyone else began to gasp.

“Girl he movin’. Captain America is comin in for the landing.” Raya stage-whispered.

“Oooo you know what? Suddenly I have to pee.” Tanya mumbled.

“Oh me too!” Jesse nodded.

And just like that….your table was empty. The audacity!

“Wow. I sure can clear a room huh?” He chuckled, stepping up beside you. “I hope I don’t offend too much.”

You sighed turning to face him head on.

“You certainly do not offend. In fact, I think my friends are around some corner cackling like the witches they are. They just wanted to give you space to shoot your shot.”

He smiled with a raised eyebrow. “My shot, huh? I better not fuck it up them.”

You shrugged, eyes raking gently over him. Beyond the obvious attraction, it was important for you to search for any warning signs. His body language was good. He had one hand draped over the back of your chair, but he stood two steps back from the table so that he wasn’t over-crowding your space. He seemed to be aware of himself physically, an important marker in your estimation. He was playful enough, but also clearly interested if he’d decided to come up to the table after all that. This did not bode well for you at all. The man was kinda nice.

“I just wanted to see if you were enjoying your drink is all.”

Your fingers flitted with the glass before pulling it to your lips for a sip. The way his eyes seemed to follow the motion had a heat pooling in your gut.

“I do enjoy a good prosecco.” You nodded. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure. I didn’t want to be too forward but uh--I think you’re stunning and  I was wondering if I could take you out sometime.” He murmured.

Your legs were crossed in your seat, and you bobbed your leg a little, anxiety coursing through you.

“Were you afraid the number on the napkin was too subtle?”

He chuckled softly, eyes falling to the ground in an almost...embarrassed fashion? Lord, please.

“Sorry, I tend to second guess myself. I never know how people are gonna take me with my line of work. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to set up a one night stand or something. Wanted to show you I’m genuinely interested.”

Well that was unnervingly wholesome. Where they get this man from?

You let a small grin form across your mouth, a metaphorical step forward closer to his very inviting energy.

“Well, I do like the sound of stunning.”

“Yea? I think I could say some other stuff you’d like too if you give me a chance. What do you say?”

He licked the edge of his lip and it really was so miniscule but it had your thighs tightening in a way that was unholy. Rude.

You couldn’t say yes just off principle. Ten minutes ago you had just shamed all your friends for their white proclivities and the first one that walks off the street and bats his eyelashes at you causes you to cave? The hypocrisy! But...he was fine. Like capital “F” fine. Fwine with a “w”, fine. And it’s not like he was going to take you home to pizza boxes and lost bongs and then hit you up for gas money later. He was more set in his life than you were. Him being rich wasn’t even for you to utilize; it just felt good to know that he was accomplished and secure for himself. Again you dated men...not boys. And yet still you found yourself in such a conundrum.

“You look hesitant.” He noted, eyes locking onto yours.

You nodded. “I am...Excuse my bluntness but I had just gotten done explaining to my friends that dating white men often comes with more hassle than good. It can be difficult to connect cross-culturally. And quite frankly y’all are usually racist and/or fetishists. I’m not looking to upset your mama, nor am I looking to play slave master in the bedroom.”

Honestly the little speech was usually enough to send weaker men running. You say the r-word to a white man when you’re a black woman and he either calls you the n-word or gets upset and walks away. That had been your experience thus far. Not always, but enough to set precedence. The fact that he bothered to stay at the table further already separates himself from the pack.

“I can understand where you’re coming from.” He nodded, and a crease formed subtly between his eyebrows. “Not that I could ever really understand, just that I understand your hesitancy towards me. And I understand that it’s more complicated for you than it is for me. I really wish it wasn’t that way, but obviously that isn’t exactly something you and I can fix together in this very moment.”

You steadied for yourself for his next words, sure that he was about to leave you with, “have a nice life, I’ve got a spandex fitting in the morning.” There was a feeling in your tummy that felt out of place. You noted absently that it was a flutter of disappointment. And then he kept speaking.

“I don’t want to change your opinions on all white guys. I’d be willing to wager that most of us suck, and you probably should definitely steer clear.”

This caused you to snicker a little bit, a smile coming back to your face. He practically beamed in response, teeth coming together in a megawatt smile.

“However, I’d truly hate to never see that smile again.” He groaned and layed a firm hand against his own chest. “I don’t wanna change your mind about all of us...but maybe I can change your mind about me. I don’t want to feshitize you, I don’t want some weird power play between us. I don’t wanna do anything that would hurt you or make you uncomfortable. I just wanna take a really beautiful woman out if I could, if you’ll have me? Please? And if not, I take no as my answer and I walk away a little wounded, and you’ll still be here, stunning as always.”

Ooof. Boy was good. Real good.

You twisted your lips together and eyed him another time as if you were seeing each other for the very first time. Seemingly good guy. Persistent, not demanding. Willing to have conversations about race? Biceps the size of your head. Damn it was like the devil had crafted him especially for you.

“You know I think my friends have been spying long enough. I should probably meet up with them.” You mumbled.

You reached for the check in front of you adding your tip to your total and squaring out your tab. The way his eyes raked over you did not go unnoticed, unfelt. With the check closed and on the table you reached for one of the cocktail napkins on the table, pen still in hand, and wrote a note of your own. Sliding from your seat, you reached for the prosecco and downed the fizzy beverage before pressing the napkin to his chest with your nail. There was confusion, and perhaps a bit of hurt, in his baby blue eyes. This was gonna be some real trouble for you.

His palm came to rest over yours, trapping your fingers against his chest. There was a warmth there that seemed to leave your fingertips tingling. Definitely trouble.

“You have a nice night Chris.” You grinned.

His hand fell away from yours at the slightest movement on your part. He stood there, seemingly shell shocked, as you reached for your purse and his cocktail napkin. You almost thought he was going to let you get away as you went to step around him, only for his palm to grab gently at your hip.

“Good night y/n.” He whispered and reached to kiss chastly at your cheek.

The warmth of him was more intoxicating up close. He radiated heat like he radiated pheromones. And the smell of him was absolutely ridiculous as well. Was that gucci? Dior maybe?

It was a miracle you made it around the corner.

As to be expected, your awful ass group of friends were all standing by the hostess booth peaking around at you like a couple of dumbasses. They were lucky you loved em. You had an exit to execute though, and for that at least, they were useful.

You resumed your power walk, matched with clicking heels and a teasing pop of your hips, towards them.

“Is he watching?” You asked quietly.

They all nodded in various levels of incredulousness.

“Good. Let’s go.”

And then you walked your ass out that bar only to collapse the first second you cleared the doors. Your girls descended the way only women do, like fucking superheros of their own, and helped you float back to the car.

“Girl if you don’t start spilling A-S-A-P I swear fo’ God!” Raya gasped hands shaking on the steering wheel.

“What happened what happened what happened?!” Jesse screeched.

Your head nestled against the headrest of the car, your breathing having gone unsteady by the little game you’d just played.

“I think I just told him he can take my black ass on a date.” You mumbled in shock.

The tension in the car hit an all time high as everyone went silent...And then they all bursted out laughing as if you’d mentioned the funniest joke in the damn world.

“I KNEW IT BITCH!” Tayna screamed. “OOOOOOO BITCH I KNEW IT!”

“She finna be down with the swirl tonight, y’all!” Raya cackled.  

“In the category of white boys y/n will fuck with, this one has a networth of millions and the highest grossing movie of all time.” Jesse spoke in her best game host voice.

“I’ll take Captain America for six hundred, Alex!” Tayna snickered.

And they all continued to laugh.

“I gotta get some new friends.”

TBC?

[dc41896]

Winter Wonderland

Pairing: Ransom DrysdalexBlack Reader

⚠️: Ransom being a tiny bit of a jerk, the usual fluff

Sat on the couch comfortably wrapped in your boyfriend’s burnt orange throw blanket, your eyes stay glued to the meteorologist pointing to the map on the wide screen in front of you as you mindlessly bite your thumbnail.

“This again?,” Ransom asks returning from his shower to sit next to you. Forest green tee shirt over his black sweatpants, the scent of sandalwood wafting off his skin brings you closer eventually resting your head on his shoulder while you silently take in a couple deep breaths to savor the smell. “What, are you trying to be a weatherwoman now or something?”

“No, I’m just trying to stay updated. You know, watching to see if it’ll maybe rain or snow...”

Moving his laptop from the glass coffee table to his lap, soon his fingers tap away at the keyboard below as he tries to answer emails he missed while being away with you and your family for Thanksgiving.

“Hopefully it doesn’t. I’ve got too much to do for the power to be turning off.”

“...It would be nice to see though you know?”

“Mm,” he simply replies, mind still comprehending the email from his assistant with his schedule for the upcoming month.

“Snow covering the ground perfect to make snow angels or a snowman with a cute little scarf and carrot nose. Ooh and maybe a snowball fight-!”

“You sound like a kid who’s never seen snow before,” he chuckles. Noticing your extended silence, he sits up meeting your innocent eyes as you play with one of the tassels from the blanket. “You’ve never seen snow, have you?”

“I mean yeah in movies and pictures, but never in person. Remember, it doesn’t really get that cold where I live.”

Only four months in, your relationship was still fairly new. And most of that time he was flying to see you, which was slightly concerning at first. Once he told you about his dysfunctional family though, and you briefly heard it firsthand, it made sense why he wanted to get as far away as possible.

It was just a small mistake when some of his business documents were sent to his parents’ house, but of course they assumed it was his sly way of asking for money. Not even giving him a chance to explain, a shouting match soon ensued and hence why Thanksgiving was spent with your parents.

He still wanted you to come visit to show you his home, where he grew up, and some of his favorite places especially since you showed him yours. He’d just have to be extra careful to avoid any of his family members or those who worked at his grandfather’s home if the two of you went to town.

So far though, you two didn’t have to worry since you’d either been happily snuggled on the couch or in bed since you arrived.

“Well, it’s more of a pain than anything. You need the right tires to drive on the road and even then you have to worry about them being too slick. Then sometimes the snow is like mush that basically starts melting as soon as it falls, and don’t even get me started on the shoveling,” he rants as the small smile on your face slightly falls.

“Yea I’ve uh heard that it’s not so great once you get used to it,” you respond turning the channel to some random movie before handing him the remote. “Looks like it’s not gonna snow anyway though so no worries.”

“Good, I’ll be able to make all of my meetings then.”

As you sat in silence, Ransom could feel that you were disappointed about the sunny and clear forecast. He still stood by all the negative things he said earlier, but he also remembered how excited he’d get as a kid once it started to get colder. That meant snow would eventually come, bringing snow days from school and playing all day in the backyard. That is until his mother would yell at him from the back door not to mess up his clothes or send the nanny out to get him if she felt he wasn’t listening.

Hearing your soft snores, he carefully removes his phone from his pocket, moving his typing from his laptop to the smaller device in his hand as he sends a quick text to someone who might be able to help.

———

The soft chime of your alarm from the bedside table causes you to mentally groan as you reach to silence it before it could disturb Ransom. However feeling his arm tighten around your waist bringing you closer to his bare chest, you could see you were too late.

“Sorry babe. Go back to sleep, you still have time before your meeting,” you whisper.

“No,” he mumbles, face falling to the crook of your neck making you giggle from the sensation of his breathing paired with his pouted lips against your skin.

“Can you let go then? I have to log in for work.” Shaking his head, you roll your eyes at how clingy he could be under that tough, careless facade. “Ransom come on it’s my last workday before Christmas so I can’t call out. As soon as I’m done though you can have me all to yourself okay?”

His only response is silence as you try to escape his grip thinking he drifted back to sleep. You’re slightly startled as your body is turned to face your boyfriend with his eyes still closed and a tired yet playful smirk gracing his lips.

“I already took care of work for you,” he replies opening one eye while the other stayed pressed against the plush pillow.

“What do you mean?”

“That you don’t need to worry about work until the new year.”

“How? You just told my boss I wouldn’t be in for a while and she said okay?”

“Well darling as you know I can be very persuasive,” he cockily states with a wink. Sitting up with arms crossed over your chest, he chuckles at your unamused expression sitting up himself to lean against the headboard. “I told her how I had a secret trip planned for us and asked if you could be out until you were due to be back in January. She said you had the time so it was okay and for us to have fun. If you don’t believe me call her yourself.”

“How long have you had this planned? And where is this secret trip too?,” you finally speak trusting his words.

“A while now, and it wouldn’t be a secret anymore if I told you dear.”

“Then how am I supposed to pack for said trip honey?,” you ask matching his sarcasm.

“Already took care of that too. All you have to do is get ready so we can leave in a couple hours,” he smiles gently grabbing your chin to kiss your lips. “Unless you want to go to work then-,”

“No, I’ll get dressed!” Giving him one last peck as you crawl over his relaxed form, he chuckles watching you excitedly hurry to the bathroom to start your morning routine.

After both of you were dressed and Ransom placed your packed bags in the trunk of his newly rented Range Rover, his hand stops you from entering the passenger side slightly confusing you.

“It’s a surprise remember?,” he smirks pulling a black blind fold out of his jacket pocket.

“You know, this is how a handful of those lifetime movies start before the main character goes missing and her family then sets out to find the boyfriend even though he swears he’s innocent,” you state making him deeply chuckle as he finishes tying the cloth over your eyes.

“Relax, you’re fine. Plus how do I know this isn’t like those movies where the gorgeous girlfriend acts all innocent and sweet until she gets her boyfriend away so she can kill him and take all his stuff before moving on to her next victim?”

“Touché. I guess we’re gonna have to trust each other then.”

“I guess so,” he laughs kissing your cheek before carefully helping you in your seat and closing the door behind you. The drive there didn’t seem too long as you and Ransom talked about everything from each of your favorite vacations over the years to his new book ideas and what was soon to be published under his company. Of course you tried to get him to slip and say where you were going and what he had planned, but his lips remained sealed.

Every time you asked, he’d just chuckle telling you to be patient before kissing the back of your hand.

Soon enough your questions would be answered as the car slowed while it turned maintaining the same speed until coming to a complete stop. “Are we there? Can I take off the blindfold now?,” you excitedly ask.

“Go ahead before you bounce a hole in the seat.”

Removing the cloth, you blink your eyes adjusting to the brightness of the remaining daylight outside before they can focus on what was exactly in front of you. Dark brown wooden outside with a blue green roof and stone chimney, the modern looking cabin with wrap around porch peering into the surrounding woods on one side and the calm lake on the other.

“I hope your silence isn’t because you’re currently regretting coming with me,” he speaks peering at you with soft crystal blue eyes. Leaning over the middle console, your hand finds the back of his neck bringing him closer to connect your lips with his.

“It’s beautiful! The perfect Christmas getaway,” you smile.

“Well not perfect yet. This is just part one of your surprise.”

“Ransom, you don’t-,”

“I know, I don’t have to. As you see though, we’re here so are we gonna sit in the car and stare at it or go inside?,” he smirks before getting out to open your door.

You weren’t surprised to find the inside just as charming as it’s outside view. The modern, minimalistic aesthetic along with high vaulted ceiling and open concept made it seem as if there was no end in sight for the cozy cabin. From it’s overall inviting warmth enveloping you as soon as the both of you crossed the threshold, you weren’t sure if your boyfriend, or anyone, would get you to leave when the time eventually came.

Once settled and full of dinner made from what was in the fully stocked fridge and freezer, courtesy of his assistant, you could feel the day’s toll finally weighing on you as multiple yawns escaped your mouth and eyelids began to droop.

“Don’t fall asleep on me yet, you still have your last surprise to see,” he chuckles gently nudging your arm.

“Ransom seriously everything has been more than enough. What else could you possibly have planned?,” you sleepily smile peering up at him through partially opened lids. Gently pulling you up with him, he guides you to the porch with muscular, sweater covered arms wrapped on your chest just under your neck. He places a kiss on the top of your head as you lean back into his broad chest admiring the bright crescent moon along with the shimmering stars scattered behind it in the black sky.

“Although I do love gazing at the moon with you, and think this is a really nice surprise, it’s getting cold,” you speak feeling the vibrations of his quiet laugh through his chest.

“You really need to work on your patience dear,” he whispers, lips resting next to your ear. Watching the breath from your nose turn to smoke, you soon see something fall from above making you slightly lean forward to see if your eyes were deceiving you. Sure enough, a similar white speck descended with a small swirl as you gently gripped Ransom’s arm gasping. As more and more fell, you reach out over the banister feeling bits of cold ice touch your palm before melting into miniature puddles.

“Is this real?!”

“No, there’s a man on the roof with a wind machine. Yes, it’s real honey,” he chuckles kissing your cold cheek.

“But the forecast said there was none coming.”

“Yea for where we were. That’s why I brought you a bit further north where it usually snows around this time of year. Luckily it still happened or else everything would’ve been ruined.”

Turning to face him, your arms wrap around his neck as you reach on your tip toes to deeply kiss his lips. You prop your chin on his chest, adoringly looking up at your boyfriend with a soft smile.

“Yea no snow would’ve been a bit of a bummer, but everything would still be wonderful because I’m here with you.”

“Stop you’re gonna make me blush,” he dismisses with a dramatic wave making you giggle.

For the next few moments, you both comfortably stand in each other’s arms with your head now lying on his chest gazing at the steady falling flurries, and Ransom doing the same finding himself truly happy to see snow for the first time in a long while.

Taglist: @fumbling-fanfics @honeychicanawrites @honeychicana @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @maxcullen @literaturefeen @damnitaa @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @scoop93535 @secretmysteriousperson

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged but don’t see your name, only want to be tagged for certain people I write for, or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!

[gintokisimp]

If you don’t have a Past, you can’t have a Future - Ch. 2 Morning Stories

It’s a normal weekend morning in the Sakata household. Or is it really that normal?

Genre: Fluff, Family, Light Sexual Content

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,199

Small fingers wrapped around Gintoki's fingertip. He bent down to examine the toddler under the blankets, but he didn’t recognize it. The child was none of his. Short white hair framed the chubby face and light grey eyes stared up to him. 

Grey eyes?

Who has grey eyes? He had never seen that before, what an unnatural color..

..come to think of it.. Red and Purple aren’t normal colors either. 

The toddler opened it’s teethless mouth and when it laughed, it sounded like birds singing a heavenly melody.  

Crickets chirping disrupted his dream. 

Gintoki opened his eyes fully. He still always tries to sleep as long as possible, but he just wasn't a long sleeper anymore.

Tsukuyo was already working in the kitchen, preparing the family's breakfast. The sound of rattling plates and faint music from downstairs crept into the bedroom.

Gintoki sat up, and looked out of the open window. It was a sunny morning and the fresh air brushed his face, carrying the smell and noises of late summer. It had been a hot summer, but gladly, they were able to afford air conditioning, when the house extension was built. It made the summers so much more endurable. 

The beautiful atmosphere refreshed his thoughts, but the dream didn’t leave his mind. Maybe he was just mixing things up, dreams tend to work like that. 

He scrambled out of the sheets and put on some black jogging pants and a simple grey shirt. Settling down with a family meant he could finally have a bigger variety of clothes. However that works. 

Gintoki slouched through the open door down the stairs to the office living room hybrid and entered the kitchen. It had previously been his bedroom, but now it was the perfect room for a spacious cooking paradise. They really enjoyed cooking together. It was almost like a family ritual, baking all kinds of sweet stuff (mostly strawberry flavored of course) with the kids and eating it downstairs in the cozy bar with the rest of the family.  

She was wearing a fluffy morning robe, her short hair pinned up in a messy ponytail, skin rosy from her morning shower, looking as divine as ever. 

Tsukuyo tiptoed busily through the room, quickly glanced at him and gave him a warm smile. 

That damn bewitching smile.

He fell for that a long time ago, still remembering it clearly. He worshipped it when she looked at him like that, she could kill him with her smile alone. Generally speaking, he worshipped her with his entire existence. 

Gintoki hurriedly closed the gap between them and caught her in her movements, wrapping his arms around her waist. She was emitting a warmth that he loved so much about her.

"Good morning, honey."

Humming to the sound of the music, Gintoki swayed with the rhythm. She sighed in response and leaned into him while she continued to prepare the breakfast. His lips found her neck and she gasped. 

"Could ya wake up the kids?"

Tsukuyo muttered through her lips. 

"mhmh.."

He held her a little bit tighter, pushed her lightly against the counter and faintly rocked against her backside. His mouth hovered over her neck, breathing against it, and he felt a shiver going down her spine.  Jackpot! that always worked to get her in the mood. He laughed quietly before he continued his teasing.

"Could ya.. ya do it.. now?" She stuttered.

"Yea,.. sure." 

Gintoki whispered in a breathy tone and his lips latched onto her neck again, eliciting a surprised sigh from her mouth.

"Gintoki.." She called out weakly. „That’s not what I meant.“ 

His hands left her hip and moved upwards, following her round curves and finally, they rested over her breasts. Tenderly, he started kneading them and dragged his thumb over her already stiffened buds which he could feel through the soft fabric. Tsukuyo moaned softly and closed her eyes.

His lips left her skin and instead, he ran his tongue along her delicate neck and -

"Papi what are you doing?"

Gintoki stopped like a deer hit by the headlights, his eyes wide open, hands on her boobs, tongue on her neck. He looked over to see the twins Ginga and Mizuki standing hand in hand in the doorframe. The hormones really got the best of him that he tried to seduce her so carelessly in broad daylight, but she was also completely obliterated. The new set of lingerie was still ghosting through his mind, that kind of made him go stupid.

Conclusion: It wasn’t his fault. 

"I .. I.. uhm.. I'm helping Mami make breakfast."

"But why are ya licking her f’ that?"

Gintoki let go of Tsukuyo and awkwardly walked over to them and kneeled down in front of them.

"You see, when Mami and Papi love each other, they do things like that while making breakfast. It’s normal, it’s completely normal!" He said in a serious tone. Gintoki thought for a millisecond and added something else. 

"..and Mami likes that." 

A spatula hit him on the back of his head like a deadly weapon and he fell face first to the floor. At least she stopped using Kunais on him a long time ago. She might be worried to lose the father if she continued to pierce his brain with sharp metal. 

"Idiot."

Tsukuyo mocked him and Gintoki lifted his upper body to glare at her. 

"Hey, no violence in front of the kids! Besides that, you could use that for something better than throwing it at me, you could sp-”

Another kitchen utensil hit him and knocked him over again. This time, he stayed on the floor, only inelegantly rolling on his back. 

“Mizuki, Ginga.. could you please visit Granny for a few minutes until the food is ready?”

“Yes!” They chirped in unison and immediately ran out of the room. 

He still was surprised how obedient they were. He didn’t know where they got it from, definitely not from him. Gintoki sat up and looked at Tsukuyo. She was back to her business, her back facing him. That was his chance. He jumped up. 

"They're gone, now let's make it quick. I'm ready." 

Gintoki already fumbled on his pants but Tsukuyo whacked him in the head when he reached her.

"Owww, I already told ya that's the wrong place." 

He held his head and pouted, lookin at her with fake puppy eyes. She didn’t fall for it. 

"Ya still an idiot."

"Can you blame me though? I'm just an ugly man with an absolutely beautiful wife." 

Gintoki grumbled angrily, crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the kitchen counter.

Tsukuyo blushed furiously. Even though they were married for so many years now, she still blushed like a tsundere high school girl and he liked that. It was also fairly easy to achieve that, but she could do that to him just as easily.

"Ya think I'm beautiful?" She asked quietly.

Gintoki's anger evaporated and he looked at her visibly confused.

"uh.. of course? Didn't I say that enough times already? I can say it a few more times if you wanna hear that again."

"I.. I just thought as I'm getting older, I'm.." She suddenly stopped in the middle of her sentence, averting her face from him. 

"You.. ?"

"..forget it"

"You're joking, right? You must be joking. Have you ever looked at yourself?"

“I have and yer just blinded.” She whispered. 

“Blinded by what?! I love  you , not your looks!”

“So you hate how I look?” Her eyes found his, watery, shining.  Fuck. 

“What?? No! That’s not what I meant, you’re beautiful, stunning, gorgeus.. fuck, I’m out of words.”

“..okay.”

“If I do not literally love everything about you, do you think I would be standing here right now? Do you think we had some little brats running around  our home?”

“I - I’m not sure.”

“I’m gonna tattoo that on your arm if you keep questioning my endless love for you!”

"But..also.. we.. we are not really a fan favorite" She shyly crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned away again.

"Wh - What're you talking about?" Gintoki was genuinely confused now.  Fan favorite?

"The polls are always full of pairings with you.. and.. I .. only reached 11th place"

Gintoki understood. He never gave a single fuck about any of those rankings, expect the offical character popularity polls, where he always ends up first. That was important as a protagonist. But everything else? Trivial. 

"You reached 11th place? We reached 11th place and it doesn't matter as long as I can be by your side."

She tensed up a little.

"I don't give a single fuck about any fan polls. Our pairing can end up in the last place, but in the end, I won you. I couldn't ask for more"

Gintoki pulled her in his arms and she gasped in surprise. 

"You're my goddess, Tsukki. My literal moon goddess."

"Stop." Tsukuyo frowned.

"You're my moon in the darkest night. Always shining on my path."

“Stop.” She whispered, blushing slightly. 

“With you, I never have to walk alone.”

Tsukuyo hit him weakly. 

“I worship you, I pray to you every day and I still hope that one day the goddess will step down from the heavens and never leave my side.”

She giggled. 

“I’m already here you idiot.”

“Tsukuyo, I don’t know what’s wrong today, but I hope I can make your day better.”

"Save that sweet talk for the bedroom." She laughed in her sweetest voice and pushed him away. 

"Now go and get the kids back, why did you even send them downstairs?"

"You know exactly why." Gintoki said suggestively.  

“Now gimme a kiss.”

He pulled her back in his arms and covered her lips with his, his hands started to roam over her back, resting on her bottom. Tsukuyo smiled and slightly leaned back to escape his desires. 

"But you still have another child" She whispered and Gintoki’s eyes flung open. He let go of her, caught red handed for the second time today. Tsukuyo pointed behind him with a smile and Gintoki turned around. 

Tsukishiro stood in the middle of the neighboring room and looked over to them, uninterested, exploring the depths of his nose. He was already neatly dressed in the white haori with the blue swirls. It was way too long for him, but he refused to get it shortened. 

He was an early bird and always reasonable and tidy. That was one of the things he got from Tsukuyo. He was like the perfect mix, but at the same time, he was not. 

Reluctantly, Gintoki let go of his wife and sighed. 

“Fine, we will do it later,.. promise?”

“Promise.” 

She held out her pinky and Gintoki hooked it with his own pinky. It only added to the crackling tension between and he quickly retreated. Tsukuyo gave him another smile and he turned around to meet his son in the living room. 

“Morning Kishi.” 

Gintoki patted the boy's fluffy hair and he kneeled down to get to his level. 

"Did you hear what I said to her?" He whispered into the child's ear. 

"Of course, I'm not deaf." He bluntly replied. 

Gintoki paused, he felt his face heating up. 

Don’t get embarrassed in front of your kids, what are you, a lousy virgin?!

..wait -

What are you, a lousy single father who mourns over his late wife and tries to get approval from his kids to date another woman?

"Don't loose a word over it."

“I never planned to.”

“Good.”

Such a good boy.

"Now, would you help your mother with the table? I'll be back in a few minutes"

"Sure.”

Tsukishiro lazily made his way over to Tsukuyo ,  hugging her waist tightly. Tsukuyo hummed and caressed his silver locks lovingly without averting her attention from her current task. 

Aw so cute..

Gintoki could melt on the spot. 

The boy suddenly turned his head and glared angrily at Gintoki, his eyes glowing.

If you don’t treat her right, don’t you dare to come close to her. 

Gintoki was dumbfounded for a second. He blinked and everything was back to normal. It was probably just his mind playing some tricks on him. He stumbled to the front door and slipped in his shoes. 

The morning sun on his skin was warm. He knew he would be sweating a lot today. He hated to sweat on his free days. 

Gintoki entered the bar. The twins sat on two chairs, all their attention directed at Otose, who was holding up a DVD. They were listening with wide eyes until they noticed their father entering the establishment. 

“Papi, Granny told us a story about you! A new one!” Mizuki screamed happily and waved at the old woman. 

"Ah good morning Gintoki, I didn't know you were such a philanderer once." She laughed roughly and waved the DVD in her hands.

Philanderer? When..?

"Oi, what's that?" He asked while coming closer. Otose turned the object in her hands and held it in his direction. 

Gintoki looked at the cover and went pale.

"Where.. where did you get that..?"

[zirkkun]

I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

[writing-gifts]

datura (moth!bruno x butterfly!reader)

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A/N: Back with the 2nd chapter! Previous chapter | Next chapter

Reader is gender neutral!

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[Mid Spring]

The bags hanging from your body make your movements sluggish as you make your way to the entrance of your home. While crossing the threshold, one of your satchels' straps catch on the door and you almost end up on the floor. You remove the strap and shut the door behind you slightly annoyed.

Your current fatigue was due to spending most of the morning gathering with few breaks. There were just so many flowers to pick from, and you struggled to decide. So you ended up stopping at every different one that you came across.

Knowing yourself, you had expected this and prepared the day before, collecting any empty canisters left sitting around your house. You even found some that you had thought you lost.

How you even managed to get off the ground with all the nectar weighing you down was a mystery though.

After setting the heavy satchels on the dining table, you take one of the canisters hanging on your belt to replenish some of your energy. Lilac. You stand in place to give yourself a moment to catch your breath.

A giant part of you wants to taste all the nectar you collected, but you hold back. You needed to use some of it to trade for items and supplies, and a taste test could quickly turn into half the can.

And even though you wanted to lay down, you plan on making more trips before the day ends so you could have enough for yourself and trading.

Then there was the task of switching all the nectar to jars. There were also all the unlabeled jars from the last couple days too. You could just keep your favorite ones in the cans to save time...after you figured out which contained them.

Then you could finally have a day to rest.

You sigh and finish your drink. The image of a new sun hat keeps your resolve.

By the time you get back from your third trip, you can’t muster up the energy to organize everything right away and lay down instead. Just for a little bit. The sun was still out but you didn’t want to risk another trip when it was this late in the evening, so you had some spare time.

You don’t even realize that you're falling asleep--then you hear knocking. Groaning, you drag yourself off the soft cotton of your daybed to go answer the door.

When you open it, Bruno's on the other side and you wonder why he's here. You smile sleepily before noticing that the sun is long gone.

You look at the sky and rub the sleep out of your eyes. “There goes my lazy day...”

“Hmm? You look like you had a good rest. Sorry if I woke you up.”

“I didn’t even mean to fall asleep, so now I gotta organize everything tomorrow…"

You mumble to yourself trying to figure out how you could salvage this. Then you realize that what you collected for Bruno was still sitting in one of the canisters in your bags.

"Uh, are you okay with something random? I don't even remember what flowers I went to today...”

Bruno stares at your most likely disheveled appearance and shakes his head. “Don't worry about it. We can properly trade once you have your thoughts together."

However, he still holds out his canister towards you, but you can't help the slight guilt you feel.

"Sorry…"

“I wouldn't lie about something like that. It’s fine, really.”

“So you’d lie about something else?” You look at him, not expecting an answer to your rhetorical question, to see if he was actually okay with it. But you only find his usual untelling expression.

You take the canister from him, an unsure smile on your face. "I'm just going to believe you then. Thanks..."

When Bruno smiles at you in return, you immediately look away using opening the canister as an excuse. You almost drink from it but remember that it isn't yours.

"Wait l-let me go pour this into a jar real quick!"

You leave Bruno at the entrance, doing your best to slow your racing heart.

-----

“Hello!”

“Hi Mrs. Joestar! I brought you some Mum nectar and also a new drink I made."

"Oh, I’m good on the drink dear, but I'll definitely save it for later. I'm guessing you want to trade for fabrics?"

"Yea!"

"Good, cause I saved some of your favorite colors!” She goes to the back and quickly returns with them to show you.

You didn’t have any solid ideas on what you would make but some were starting to form now that you were here. You thank the elder bug and pull out the Mum filled jars from your satchel to place on the store's counters, setting the drink slightly apart from the rest of them.

"By the way, I heard you haven't been staying out late much anymore? Some of the neighbors were wondering if you were okay."

"Yea, I've been avoiding staying out too late now...”

"Well that's good, we don't want you getting hurt, but I find it hard to believe you would just stop so suddenly."

You fiddle with your satchel. "It’s because I met this moth and we started trading and stuff, so now I just try to go directly home so I dont leave him waiting."

"I see. Well, I'm glad you're making more friends dear!"

That makes you purse your lips. Were you and Bruno friends? You’d only known him for a little over a month now...How long did you need to know someone before you could consider them a friend?

"--____?"

"Ah...yea he’s really nice. He’s actually the first moth I’ve officially met."

“Hun.”

“Yea?”

“You know I’m a moth right?”

“Huh? But--what?”

She laughs. “What did you think I was?”

“I don't know, I thought you were like some sort of butterfly….Ah sorry!” Your face felt much warmer than before.

"It’s okay!” She's still laughing a bit though.

Mrs. Joestar’s partially transparent wings looked so similar to yours in shape and pattern. And with her being diurnal you had just assumed. You could definitely see the similarities between her and Bruno though.

“...Are all moth’s just super pretty?” The moment the question’s out of your mouth, you realize that it was better kept as a thought.

Mrs. Joestar places a hand on her cheek. “Oh, you're such a flirt!”

“Wait, I didn’t mean--!” You cover your face, unable to finish your sentence.

“I kid, I kid.” She smiles teasingly.

“You and Mr. Joseph are too much…”

-----

"I know you usually leave pretty quickly, but do you want to stay for a while--inside? I can make you something new to drink?”

Bruno seems to be thinking, and you prepare yourself for him to say no and leave after you both trade. But then he gives you a small smile. “You like mixing drinks?”

Averting your eyes, you ignore the weird flip within your chest cavity. “Yea, it’s something I learned from another bug some time ago. I'm still figuring it out though...” You move out of the way so he can walk in.

This was the first time that Bruno had actually come into your home. You had tried inviting him multiple times before so he didn't have to wait outside, but he would always politely decline.

You hope you didn’t leave anything weird laying around.

You softly close the entrance. “Ah you can sit over there, I’ll be right back.” Once Bruno sits down on your daybed, you quickly head into the space in your house where you kept all your food and beverages.

You decide to make something you had already done before with the Datura since you didn’t want any accidents right now.

You do your best to recall the steps that you should probably just write down at this point. And even though there were a few times where you thought you messed up, you end up with a result that’s not bad. You just hoped it was to Bruno’s taste.

After you pour the drink into two cups, you head back to Bruno. You plop down next to him and shove the drink a bit too close to his face.

He carefully grabs the cup and you watch him take a sip, forgetting your own drink for the moment.

After way too long for your liking he finally says something. “It’s not bad. I’d even go as far to say that it’s good.”

You roll your eyes at him but smile. “Well as long as you drink it all, then I consider that a win.”

You down your drink in one swoop and stare into your empty cup. "I think I might drink the rest of the pitcher by myself…"

"I think you might have a problem."

"What?"

"That sounds like a lot to drink at once."

"Please, I was like this before I was even a pupa."

Bruno raises a brow, skeptical. "How? I know wasps much bigger than you that drink less."

You immediately gawk at him. “You interact with wasps!?”

"Well one." The moth tilts his head slightly. "It’s a...unique relationship."

"...Bruno, what the fuck."

-----

Bruno didn't always come in to relax when visiting but when he did, you always made sure to try to give him something new to drink. They weren’t always hits though.

One time he shows up and you're surprised to see that he doesn’t have anything to trade.

"It's become habit now. The night wouldn't feel complete without visiting."

You keep your face from putting on the giant smile it wants to and instead settle for a regular one.

After inviting him in, you tell him to wait while you try to make one of your "concoctions". This time you decide not to do anything too crazy, just a simple sweet tea. You wish you could make it cooler. It would be much more refreshing in this weather.

The two of you sit together speaking idly. Your relationship was starting to get to the point where you both could sit in silence and it didn't feel awkward. Or maybe you just felt comfortable enough with Bruno to do that, and maybe he felt the same way.

"Hey."

“Yes?”

“What do you like to eat?” you ask.

“I don’t really eat that often but I like most fruits, except apples. Occasionally I’ll chew on something salty too if I can find it...Honey’s good too.”

That made sense. Some that drink nectar didn’t need solids to survive. It was strictly a pleasure activity in your case. “You don’t like apples?”

“I think they’re a little overrated to be honest.”

“Hmm, well I'm going to make sure to get you other fruits then cause I'm striving to be the best host ever.“

“Do you not invite people over?”

“My friend visits sometimes but they don't like my drinks! They only really eat grainy stuff without any sugar. The lack of flavour…” You grimace. “And I literally can’t make anything without sugar.”

“What are they?”

“A grasshopper.”

“Then of course they wouldn't want sugar.” A hint of amusement sounds in his voice.

"I know BUT I tried some of their grain stuff and it's not bad. It could be way better though. If you mix it with water and sugar--” You make an okay sign. "It’s at least 50 times better."

“No offense but that sounds disgusting.”

"You haven’t even tried it yet though!" The lack of sugarcoating caught you off guard.

"I’m going to make you take that back.”

Bruno shakes his head and smirks. "Good luck with that.”

You knew he was mostly messing with you but you were already set on proving him wrong. “Fine but I’m going to come up with something you really like one day.”

Maybe you were just excited to have someone you were somewhat close to to experience your relatively new hobby with, but you already felt like getting started.

"I look forward to it."

[obx-adventures]

The Fall

Summary: Grace just moved from Figure Eight to the Cut. She never expected to run into her old friend, Kiara, and discover she lives next door to JJ Maybank.

Catch up here: Ch 1, Ch 2

——

Chapter 3

When Grace’s alarm goes off the next morning, she’s saddened to see that JJ isn’t still sleeping beside her. She reaches over and feels the bed is still warm so he must have left only a few minutes ago. Grace lays back down and covers her face with her hands, trying to stop herself from crying.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” JJ’s voice startles her out of her thoughts. She sits up quickly and isn’t able to hide the look of surprise on her face.

“Uh… nothing. I just… I thought you left.” Grace ducks her head in embarrassment, silently chastising herself for being so vulnerable around him.

“Nope, just went to the bathroom. I wouldn’t just leave without saying goodbye.” He sits down on the side of her bed and reaches over to brush her hair out of her face. “Thanks for letting me stay here last night.”

Grace finally looks up at his face and is again stunned by how beautiful he is. Even with the bruises and cuts from his father’s abuse, she’s never seen a more breathtakingly handsome guy. She shakes herself out of her stupor and climbs out of bed to start getting ready for work.

JJ watches her search for her work clothes and notices the pink tinge is back in her cheeks. He can’t help feeling a little proud that he flusters her. He’s also more than a little nervous about his growing feelings for her. Grace is nothing like the girls he usually hangs out with. She’s quiet, reserved, and doesn’t drink or smoke or surf. But he can’t help being captivated by her, especially by how beautiful she is both inside and out. Grace has the type of beauty that you may not see right away but it’s just because she doesn’t flaunt it. When you finally stop to look and get to know her, she’s absolutely stunning.

When she returns from changing in the bathroom, he offers to walk her to work. Neither of them talks for a while, both stuck in their own thoughts.

“JJ, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, what’s up?”

“How long ago did your mom leave?” JJ wasn’t sure what he expected but it definitely wasn’t this.

“Umm, I think I was 11. Why?”

“Have you heard from her since then?”

“No, not a word. She sent my dad divorce papers and gave him full custody. That was it.”

“Does it get easier?” He looks over at her and sees tears glistening in her eyes. He finally understands why she’s bringing this up.

“Not really. Especially when my dad is a such a fucker. But you get used to it. Have you talked to your dad at all since you and your mom moved out?”

“You mean since he kicked us both out? No. And I get that he doesn’t want anything to do with her… but I can’t figure out why he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I mean, I’m his kid.”

JJ stops walking and grabs Grace’s hand gently. He pulls her in for a hug and kisses the side of her head.

“Listen, if he can’t see how amazing you are, it’s his loss, not yours. I know it hurts but it seems like you might be better off without him.”

“Why doesn’t he want me? What did I do wrong?” Grace is crying into JJ’s shirt while he hugs her tightly. JJ doesn’t know how to answer her so he tries to comfort her as much as he can without words.

After standing in each other’s arms for a few minutes, Grace pulls back. JJ cups her face and brushes away her tears with his thumbs. He kisses her gently on the forehead before letting her go. When they arrive at The Wreck 5 minutes later, he gives her another hug and kiss on the forehead before she goes inside and promises to pick her up after her shift ends.

----

“Grace, would you mind covering my tables while I run to the bathroom?” Grace nods at Kiara as she brings out food for one of her tables.

It’s been busy since the lunch rush started ‪at 11am‬, allowing Grace to distract herself from the emotional exchange she had earlier with JJ. Grace hears the door open and shut behind her and calls out to the new arrivals to take a seat wherever they’d like. After getting her table set up with their food, she grabs menus to bring over to the new table. Once she sets them down on the table and introduces herself, she finally looks at the diners and realizes her dad is sitting right in front of her.

“Uhhh, hi Dad…”

“Grace.” He says stiffly and without emotion. “What are the specials today?”

Grace is stunned into silence. Luckily, Kiara notices what’s happening and swoops in to rescue.

“Grace, thanks for getting my new table set up. Hello, I’m Kiara. I’ll be your server today.” Grace looks at her in confusion since this table is in her section, not Kiara’s. Kiara gives her a small nod and Grace smiles at her in appreciation.

A little later, Grace is taking her break outside when her dad leaves. She overcomes her anxiety and approaches him to talk.

“Dad… can I talk to you for a minute?” Paul Porter looks at her in annoyance and asks his companions to wait for him in the car.

“What?”

“I was just wondering if I could maybe come over some time… We haven’t seen each other since Mom and I moved out and I… I miss you.” Grace looks at her feet, ashamed of how weak she sounded.

“That’s not a good idea.”

“But why? What did I do wrong?”

“Look, Grace. I didn’t want to have to be the one to tell you this but it’s going to come out in the divorce proceedings anyways. You aren’t my daughter.”

“What?!” Grace can’t stop herself from yelling, even though she knows it will only upset him.

“Do not yell at me, young lady. Take this up with your mother. She’s the one that was already pregnant when we started dating. She didn’t tell me until after I proposed. My family wouldn’t tolerate the scandal of a wedding being called off, so I had to marry her anyways and pretend you were mine. But after her latest affair, I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“But you raised me… doesn’t that mean anything to you? You held me after I was born. You spent every day with me for 17 years.” Tears start streaming down Grace’s face.  

“I’m sorry, Grace. I’m not your father.” Before Grace can respond, he walks away from her and gets into his car, leaving Grace all alone to try to understand how her whole life has been a lie.

----

“Hey, Kie. Is Grace ready?” JJ asks Kiara later that afternoon.

“Yea, J, she’ll be out in a minute. But before she gets here, you should probably know that her dad came in ‪today for lunch‬. He was really cold with her, so I took the table. He left while she was on her break and she has been really quiet since then.”

“Fuck… did she talk to him when he left?”

“I don’t know. But I could tell she had been crying when she came back inside.”

“Damnit! Thanks, Kie.” JJ sits at the counter for a minute wondering what happened between the two of them. When Grace comes out front to meet him, he is startled by how sad she looks.

“Hi, JJ. You ready?” After he nods at her, she waves goodbye to Kiara and they leave. After a couple of minutes of silence, JJ decides the straight forward approach would be best.

“Kie said your dad stopped by today.” Grace nods at him but doesn’t say anything. “How did that go?”

“Fine.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“For a couple minutes.”

“How did that go?” JJ doesn’t want to push her too hard but he’s hoping she’ll open up like she did last night and this morning.

“Fine. What are we going to do tonight?” JJ glances over at her and sees her face is set in determination. He decides to let it go for now, hoping she’ll talk to him when she’s ready.

“JB wants to throw a kegger. I know you don’t drink but you should still come.”

“Ok, sure, sounds fun.” JJ stops walking completely and grabs her hand. When she sees the concern on his face, Grace refuses to give in. “What? You’ve been trying to convince me to come to a kegger for weeks. You said I should come.”

“I know. I’m just surprised. And a little worried.”

“Stop, I’m fine. Let’s just go straight to the Chateau. I don’t want to walk all the way home just to walk back this way.”

“But you always stop at home before we go out… Don’t you want to check in with your mom?”

“Not today. Let’s go.” Grace starts walking again but stops when JJ is still rooted to the same spot. “What now?”

“Uh, just surprised again. Don’t you want to change?”

“Kiara has told me before that she has extra clothes at the Chateau that I can wear. I’ll just change there.”

This time, JJ starts walking again when Grace does. The rest of the trip is quiet as JJ worries about Grace’s change in behavior.

----

John B, JJ, and Grace are waiting at the Chateau for Pope and Kiara before they all head over to the Boneyard. After Kiara texts the group that they are on their way, Grace goes in search of clothes to change into. When she comes back out in Kiara’s cropped tube top and short jean shorts, both John B and JJ are stunned. Grace understands their confusion but refuses to acknowledge it. She can wear whatever she wants, even if she’s never worn a tube top or exposed her midriff before.

“Hey guys. Everyone ready to party?” Kiara asks as she walks into the house, quickly followed by Pope. “Whoa, Grace, you look hot! I told you that you should try on my clothes.”

JJ shoots Kiara a look, trying to convey that this is not a positive development. But Kiara rolls her eyes at him and ruffles his hair.

“She’s right, Grace,” Pope tells her as he grabs a beer for the walk over. “You are really hot.”

“Why thank you, Pope. I wanted to try something different today.” She smiles at Pope and then sticks her tongue out at JJ playfully. “Can you bring me a beer, too?”

Everyone freezes in place and stares at her. Kiara finally understands why JJ was concerned and John B nods at her as if to say “See!”. During the couple hours that they hung out before Kiara and Pope arrived, John B picked up on the same behavioral changes that JJ noticed on the walk over. Pope looks at everyone else in confusion and then tentatively reaches in to the fridge to grab Grace’s drink.

“Thank you, Pope. Ok, let’s party!” Grace walks outside, leaving the Pogues staring at each other, each of them wondering what to do.

----

It’s Kiara’s turn to man the keg but she insists that Grace walk over with her. Each of the Pogues have taken turns buddying up with Grace throughout the party. Grace had finished the beer that Pope gave her by the time they got to the Boneyard and was already on her 5th drink.

“Hey, J. Ready to trade?” Kiara, who is holding Grace’s hand to keep close to her, passes it over to JJ.

“Sure. The keg is almost empty so be ready for some feisty people.” He looks at Grace and back at Kiara in concern. When Kiara shrugs, JJ decides that he’s going to try to get Grace to go home. “Hey, Grace. Having fun?”

“The best time ever!” Grace grabs both of JJ’s shoulders and pulls him in for a hug. “Will you be my beer pong partner?”

“Don’t you want to get home? It’s almost midnight.”

“Nope, I think I’m going to crash at the Chateau tonight.”

“You are? Are you sure?”

“Of course, I am, silly. Now, let’s go kick some ass at beer pong!”

JJ follows behind helplessly, unsure of what to do. He stopped drinking a while ago so he could keep an eye on Grace, but he still feels powerless to help her. What the hell happened today between her and her dad?

JJ and Grace run the beer pong table for almost an hour, with JJ trying to drink the cups on their side so Grace doesn’t get more drunk. After celebrating their 4th win, Grace feels a hand settle on her bare shoulder and turns to see who it is, not happy to discover it’s Rafe Cameron.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Queen of the Good Girls out here half naked and drunk.” Grace scoffs at Rafe as JJ turns around. “Ah, Maybank, of course you’re the one responsible for this. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get with her? I can’t believe that you’re the one to get her to drop the act.”

“Fuck off, Rafe. Grace, let’s go.” JJ, for once, doesn’t want this to escalate.

“Maybe I didn’t want to ‘get with you’ because you’re disgusting and an asshole.” JJ closes his eyes in resignation, sure this is going to turn into a fight. He flags down John B and Pope to help him out.

“Or maybe you lost everything and have decided to be Maybank’s new whore.” Before JJ can respond, Grace punches Rafe hard in the mouth. JJ grabs onto her as Rafe catches his bearings.

“First of all, you fucker, I am no one’s whore. Second of all, leave JJ the fuck alone.” Rafe rubs his jaw as fury radiates off of him while Grace struggles against JJ’s hold.

“I guess daddy was right to drop you along with your mom,” Rafe spits back at her.

JJ lets go of Grace so he can hit Rafe this time but, again, Grace beats him to it and punches him multiple times in the face. John B and Pope finally get over to them as JJ pulls Grace away. He needs to lift her up and carry her away from everyone while the other guys keep Rafe where he is.

“JJ, let me go!”

“Not until you calm down! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“You heard him! He deserved it! Let me go!”

“No! Stop! What is going on?! This isn’t you, Grace.”

“Fuck you, JJ! You barely know me! You have no idea what I’m like!” At this, JJ releases her and turns around to collect himself.

“Grace, of course, I know you. Until today, you didn’t drink or punch people. You’re right, Rafe deserved it. But you know that if he acted like that before today, you never would have hit him. You would have walked away. Now tell me what the hell is going on! Please. What happened today with your dad?”

“JJ, you don’t get to know everything about me. It’s none of your damn business.” Grace refuses to be swayed by the look of pain and concern on his face. “I am not your responsibility. Turns out, I’m no one’s responsibility. So, I better start taking care of myself, starting now… I’m walking home. Don’t follow me.”

“Grace, wait!” JJ desperately calls out to her. “You promised me that you wouldn’t walk home by yourself.”

Grace stops in her tracks and looks back at him. She knows he’s only trying to look out for her, but she can’t let herself get close to someone else who could just decide one day to leave her.

“I’ll be fine, JJ. Goodbye.”

Ch 4

Taglist: @agirlwholovescoffee @alexa-playafricabytoto @mendesmaybank @teamnick @laurenyee09 @prejudic3 @teaheeee @literallylikepoison @shy-1234 @rudyismymanperiod

[mookoo-writes]

~You’re Still My Boyfriend~ (2K12 Leonardo x Trans Male! Reader)

Authors Note: I’m hear to fill the void of male reader fanfiction for readers like me 

Fandom: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012

Pairing(s): Leonardo x Trans Male! Reader

Warning(s): cursing, mention of dysphoria, Leo is just a good boyfriend

Anyway, Please enjoy~

It started like any other day; leave school and visit the lair where you get your homework done while also getting to hang out with your favorite mutant turtle friends and boyfriend. Since today was Friday, you didn’t have to worry about school work which means more time with your boyfriend. Unfortunately, since you’re not working on homework, you aren't looking at the time every five minutes. 

You didn’t realize how late it was until you get a call from your parents and a few texts asking where you were. “Shit.” You mutter to yourself as you check the time on your phone. Leo paused the movie the five of you were watching so you wouldn’t miss anything. 

“Uh oh, someones in trouble,” Raph smirked as he flipped to another page in his comic. You glared at him as you answered the phone. 

“Y/n where are you? You should be home by now.” A stern voice spoke at you. 

“I know, I know I’m sorry. I was watching a movie with friends and didn’t check the time.” You apologized with a sign, hoping you wouldn’t get grounded. 

“Are you at the friend's house right now?” You replied with a yeah before they continued. “I don’t want you walking around the streets at this time of night. It’s dangerous, and I’d rather you stay there than risk your life walking home.” 

You laughed to yourself as you think of all the crime shows your parent watches. “Could you ask your friend if it's okay if you sleep there for tonight?” They asked. 

You pulled the phone away from your ear and covered the speaker. “Is it all right if I crash here tonight? My parents don’t want me to walk home this late at night.” 

The boys looked at each other, then back at you. “I don’t see why not,” Leo said while the others nodded or gave you a thumbs up. 

“Yea, I can spend the night here.” You spoke into the phone. 

“Good! I’m sure you can use their clothes to sleep in.” You narrowed your eyes and looked at each of your friends and what they had on. 

Just a bunch of belts. 

You pursed your lips and paused for a minute. “Yea, I’m sure they will have an extra change of clothes.” Giggling could be heard from the four turtles as you swat the air for them to be quiet.

“I’ll let you get back to your movie then. Call me if there are any problems. Love you.” 

“I will. Love you too.”

You placed the phone back on the couch and sighed. “At least I’m not in trouble.” You got comfy in the blanket you and Leo were sharing and leaned on his shoulder. “Okay, now we can continue the movie.”

Once the movie finished, everyone decided to head to bed since it was getting late. When Leo got up from the couch, you wrapped yourself in the blanket and sprawled out. Leo stood there and watched as you did so. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think of how to ask. You rose a brow at your flustered boyfriend. “I was thinking- that maybe… I mean you don’t have to… It’s just-” He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. Keyword trying. “I was thinking that maybe you could sleep with me? Or- or you could take my bed and I can sleep on the couch.” 

You smiled as he stuttered out his question. He always claims to be good with words, but at times like this, he doesn’t have a clue what to say. 

You got up with the blanket wrapped around your shoulders and grabbed his hand. The poor turtles' face seemed to become redder when you started to pull him towards his room. 

When both of you stepped into the room, you kicked the door closed with your foot and plopped down on Leo’s bed. The scent of cherry blossoms and freshwater filled your nose as you inhaled. You’re glad you got him a diffuser to block out the sewer smell. 

You have always loved his room. The hint of Japanese culture along with a box of comic books and action figures sitting on shelves made afternoon naps more comforting. You would usually take a small nap while he’s meditating or training with his brothers.

You adjusted yourself to where you were resting under the thick blankets and closed your eyes. You could hear Leo chuckled to himself. The blankets shuffled for a split second before settling. You smiled to yourself as you curled up to the side of his plastron. Your fingers tracing the grooves of his shell as your eyes wandered to his. His mask was set to the side along with his other gear. 

He always looked different to you without his bandanna. Kind of like when someone takes off their glasses for the first time in front of someone else. But seeing him without his mask makes him look relaxed and content. 

You moved your hand from his plastron to his face, gently rubbing his cheek. His face flushed once again as he pushed his head further into your hand.

“If you went to the surface when the sun was out, you would have a bad tan line because of your mask… do you get tan lines?” 

”You always know how to ruin a moment, huh.” 

“Hey! I’m just saying what's on my mind!” 

Leo sighed as he wrapped an arm around you. “You're lucky you’re cute.” You chuckled, eyes slowly closing while sleep slowly consumes you. “You should get some sleep” incoherent mumbles spilled out of your mouth, trying to argue that you were not tired but failing miserably. Leo smiled to himself and turned the bedside lamp off. 

“Goodnight handsome.”

It was about 3 in the morning when you woke up in a sweat and hyperventilating. Why was this happening? You weren’t having a bad dream. Was this some sort of surprise panic attack? Your chest did hurt a bit. 

Wait.

You sat up and felt your chest. Flat. You were still wearing your binder. It’s been on for almost a full 24 hours without a break. This wouldn’t be such a problem but considering it was new, you weren’t quite used to it. You needed to get this thing off quick.

You silently crawled out of bed, making sure to not wake the sleeping turtle. You waited a few seconds before making another move of taking your shirt off. You would have preferred to do this in the bathroom, but that was too far and risky. Those doors make a tremendous amount of noise when you just want a glass of water late at night. 

You finally peeled off the binder. A small sigh left your lips as you put your shirt back on. Fortunately for you, there was a hoodie in Leo’s closet that you had left for him. Quietly, you sneak your way to his closet. His closet door was shut. 

Shit.

‘Let's hope this door isn’t as loud as Mikey’s snoring’ you thought to yourself as you gently pulled the door open. 

Skreeee

“Y/n?”

Fuck.

You could hear shuffling from the bed and the light turned on. You quickly pulled the door open wider so you could cover your top half. You didn’t like people seeing you without your binder on. It made you feel dysphoric and others might think less of you. Which is why whenever you didn’t have your binder on you wore a large hoodie or jacket. 

“Go back to sleep, babe. I just got… cold.” You swiped the overly large hoodie off of its hanger and quickly put it on. You stepped out of the closet, gently closing the door behind you, and made your way back to bed. Climbing back into bed, you snuggled back to your original spot. Once settled, Leo turned the light off and wrapped his arm right over your chest.

Your eyes grew wide and hoped he didn’t feel something in particular. You stared at the ceiling for a moment, feeling his arm slightly move, then move again. “Hey Y/n.”

You turned your head to face your boyfriend. “Yes?” 

“What is that…?” Your eyebrows scrunched at the question. 

“My boobs?”

Leo shot up and turned the light back on. “Your what???” 

“My… my boobs. You know, like titties.” 

Leo looked at you, down at your chest, then back to you. “When did you get those?!?”

You burst out laughing. “The person who birthed me?” You tried to muffle your laugh with the blanket but failed. 

Leo looked at you in disbelief, his mouth open and eyes wide. “You’re trans?!?” 

Your laughing died down and looked back at him. “You didn’t know?” You rose an eyebrow questionably. 

“No! I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. I still love you know matter what.” Leo fully sat up on the bed, rubbing his eyes as if trying to get his bearings from this instant adrenaline. 

You lied there, shocked. He didn’t know? You thought it was obvious. You’ve never taken testosterone or anything. Just a binder. 

“I… passed?” Your eyes started to water as you looked down at your hands. Every morning you saw something wrong with your body. Many feminine features were sticking out like a sore thumb, but yet your boyfriend didn’t even know. He never once commented on anything wrong. 

Tears were now rolling down your face as you look up at your boyfriend with a smile. “I passed.” 

Leo was caught off guard by this but immediately engulfed you in a hug. You sobbed into his shoulder and hugged him tight until the happy tears stopped rolling down your cheek. You can feel Leo’s hand rub your back while his other arm was hooked around your waist. You felt safe like this. Safe from the world’s gender stereotypes and judgment. Safe to express who you are and who you always will be.

You felt safe and loved.

You slowly pulled away, cheeks stained with tears that have dried. Leo gently cupped your face, looking at you as if he’s holding the world in his hands. To him, he is. He can’t even express home much you mean to him. Seeing you like this makes him happy yet frustrated. Happy that you felt overly loved but frustrated that, seeing you react the way you did, someone had hurt you because of something you can’t control. And the fact that he can’t be by your side to protect you from those things made him frustrated at himself.

The blue-clad turtle looked into your eyes, seeing the overall joy in them. Right at that moment, Leo had promised himself to protect his dear boyfriend the best he could. If not protect, then to be there for support on a particular dysphoric day.

Leo started placing sweet kisses starting at your four head that trailed down your temple. His thumbs gently rubbed your cheeks as he kisses the bridge of your nose. Leo could feel your nose scrunch under his lips and chuckled. He pulled away but not before planting a loving kiss on your lips.

“I honestly can’t express how much I love you, Leo.” You mutter to him, eyes half-closed due to lack of sleep. 

“That’s supposed to be my line.” Your boyfriend wined. You merely chuckled and leaned into his plastron. Leo took that as a sign and slowly lied back on his shell with you in his arms.

Your boyfriend kissed your four head as a yawn escaped your lips. “We should get back to sleep, I’m exhausted.” Leo chuckled and reached over to turn the lamp off.

“Goodnight Leo.”

“Goodnight handsome”

-Bonus-

“Your what” Two of the three brothers at the table looked at your direction with wide eyes. 

“You guys didn’t know?” Donnie took another bite of his cereal without looking away from his computer screen. 

“Wha- no we didn’t know! It’s not like we see humans every day!” Mikey ignored his hot-headed brother and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. 

“Look dude, just because you were born into something you're not doesn’t make you any less manly.” You smiled at the orange-clad turtle and thanked him.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[imnotwolverine]

The girl next door - Deep roots

The Girl Next Door - Chapter 1 DEEP ROOTS

| Chap 2 >

Summary: Henry is stuck in the countryside as COVID-19 wreaks havoc in the world, leaving him with little else left to do but getting to know his spunky next door neighbour, Lizz. 

Word count: 1.639

Warnings: strong language, hint of fluff

(Link to my Masterlist)

It was a particularly nice spring day in the countryside, the sky a spotless deep blue as the scent of blooming grasses and flowers permeated the morning air. Henry stepped out through the squeaky gate of his rental home and tilted his head back, stretching out his slightly sleepy body while his akita Kal flew through the gate. Henry smiled, seeing his dog happily zipping through the tall grass next to the narrow dust road and he stuck his hands in his pockets as he started to walk.

It had been a weird couple of months. The COVID-19 virus had meant the immediate stop of all his plans. His work. His holidays. His visits to friends and family.  And so, for the first time in years, Henry had all the time in the world to just…be! And mind you, he actually kind of enjoyed it, his once busy jet set lifestyle now very average. Dare he say, normal even.

Like every morning he walked down the path, throwing the same stick as Kal raced past, catching it. And like everyday he waved at Mrs. Gatter, who lured at him through her blinds, her wrinkly fingers quickly shooting back to tending her plants, acting as if she didn’t even notice Henry. Henry suppressed a smile as his eyes wandered further down the road, Kal but a blur of black and white in the corner of his eye.

Yes, he wouldn’t like to admit it. But normal life WAS quite enjoyable.

Kal disappeared for a moment and Henry looked up, following the direction the big Akita had wandered off to. Ah. Also like everyday. The abandoned house, its garden wild and unkempt. Kal’s favourite place to roam around in.

At first Henry had been apprehensive of entering the garden. It was in the end someone’s garden, right? But alas. The weeks became months. And nothing stirred. The garden remained wild and it was safe to say the house had been abandoned and forgotten. And so, Henry had given in to the curiosity of his fur baby and allowed the two of them to roam around for a bit. Something that had became a bit of a daily habit.  

Like everyday, Kal jumped with great ease over the small stone wall, his big paws having made a raw spot in between the lush grass where he landed. Henry also stepped over the wall and smirked as Kal halted his zooming to look at a bird that quickly scurried off. A blackbird.  

Henry followed Kal as he drifted deeper into the garden, the jungle-like greenery looping around the side of the house, by now almost swallowing half the bottom floor.

‘YOU FUCKIN’ …ARGHHH.’

A female voice set Henry dead in his tracks. Oh shit. There was somebody there. Did she see him? His eyes quickly looked for Kal, but Kal was nowhere to be seen. Oh no.. Feeling a sudden shiver run down his spine, he decided to swallow his pride and make himself known to the woman - hoping Kal hadn’t ran her over in his excitement. Besides, it was the most decent thing he could do as he was practically standing in the middle of, what probably was, her garden.

Moving through the last bit of jungle he got to the back of the yard, his jaw all but dropping at what he saw next.

Slender, milky pale legs in knee high rain boots, topped by a plush pair of buttocks that were perfectly hugged by booty shorts that made Henry swallow harshly. She however didn’t seem to have noticed him, her body still folded in half as she seemed to be too preoccupied with tugging on a pair of obnoxious roots.

‘How hard can this be?!’ She fumed, tugging even harder, the muscles in her legs flexing. Henry was at a loss for words in that moment, blatantly staring at her bum as it jiggled with every tug.

And then Kal appeared back in the corner of his eye, the big dog practically pouncing at the woman from one of the bushes.

‘AAAAAAHHH!’ She screamed, flying back as she released the roots in fright, her plush bottom cushioning the blow as she fell down. ‘What the..’ Her initial terror quickly made way for a chuckle, as she noticed it was not a monster but a dog, the big akita sniffing her with curiosity. ‘Oh hey you.’ She laughed. Kal panted, then moved to sniff the roots and decided it would make for a perfect stick, his big muzzle closing around the roots, continuing the tug of war with the obnoxious plant. ‘Hahahaha. Oh my. You want to help?’ She sniffled, bending forward and letting her gloved hands run through his thick fur.

‘I can help too.’ Henry interjected, making the woman fly up in a new bout of terror.

‘OH MY..’ She quickly shot up to her feet, turning around and looking with utter shock at Henry as he stood there at the edge of the bushes.

‘OH! I’m so sorry..’ Henry exclaimed, quickly looking away, his cheeks flushing. The woman let out a gasp as her eyes slowly took in Henry. Tall, dark, handsome. What did the gods send her way this time?

‘Well..hello there. Uh..’ She quickly straightened up, biting her lip as she suddenly felt very flustered. Did she really have to shout so loudly while gardening? And who was he? Had he heard her from the road and thought something was amiss? Her eyes were met by his hesitant cerulean ones.

‘I’m so sorry about that.’ He repeated, offering her a sheepish smile.

‘That’s..okay. Is this your dog?’ She pointed at Kal as he was about halfway through the feat of pulling out the root.

‘Eh..’ Henry pulled a face as he noticed how the dog was practically digging up half a tree, completely ruining what little acceptable bit of garden there was left. ‘I..eh. Yes. That’s, Kal. KAL! Stop that.’

The dog halted his tugging, looking with half an eye at his owner. ‘Come here boy.’ Henry chided, the dog quickly letting go of the root and reluctantly trotting back to Henry’s heel.

‘Oh, he was actually pretty useful.’ She smiled, winking at the dog. Her dark brown eyes slid back up at Henry, long lashes circling browns that glittered with wonder. Wonder of who this stranger was.

‘Well then perhaps we both can help..’ Henry offered, smiling more broadly as she let out a tinkering laugh. She looked so very becoming. Slightly wavy auburn hair, pale skin with freckles and deep brown eyes that somewhat reminded him of Audrey Hepburn.

‘Perhaps.’ She shrugged, looking back at the mess Kal had left behind. ‘Though it’s probably wiser to just go to town to get some better tools. It’s not like this is the one and only root that needs pulling.’ She hinted at the rest of the garden.

‘Perhaps.’ Henry smiled. ‘I’m..Henry by the way. I live next door.’ Henry pointed in the general direction of his house that lay about a hundred meters further up the dirt road.

‘Ha. The famous Mr. Cavill. My name’s Lizz.’ She wanted to step forward to shake hands, but halted midway, realising with the ongoing COVID crisis that was not a smart thing to do. And so instead, she waved somewhat dorkily, making him snicker, his chest rumbling with mirth.

‘Just Henry, that’s fine.’ Henry mused, returning the gesture and waving at her with the same dorkiness. ‘Nice to meet you Lizz.’ His eyes drifted up to the house right next to them.

‘So..you live here?’ He asked, his brows furrowing as he took a better look at the state of disarray the house was in. Wood rot, missing bricks, chipped paint.

‘Yea. I guess I got a bit over-enthused after seeing “Under the Tuscan sun”.’ She shrugged, giggling at her own joke. ‘It’s the house of my late grandparents. Nobody wanted it. But, I decided I could at least give it a try. I mean..’ She shrugged and looked up at the house. ‘..it sure has got character!’

‘All by yourself?’ Henry raised an eyebrow back at her, stealing a quick glance. Boots, booty shorts and a simple white cotton shirt. Nothing close to what the average builder would wear. 

‘Are you doubting my capabilities good sir? But eh..yea. For now. Some friends may come over to assist once the regulations are less restricting. And up til then it’s just me and myself.. and I.’ She winked.

‘Well..my offer stands. It’s not like I built all these muscles for nothing.’ He shrugged, flexing them slightly but immediately regretting those words as she quickly looked away from him, trying her best to hide an obvious blush.

‘Sure… And eh..borrowing sugar.. and all that…stuff.’ She muttered, quickly turning to don her gloves in a wheelbarrow, her cheeks bright red by now.

‘Sorry. That maybe came out..wrong.’ Henry shuffled his feet, looking at her as she rummaged through the contents of the wheelbarrow (some shovels, dirt, the gloves - what did she even need to rummage around for?).

‘Do you eh..maybe want a glass of water?’ She finally turned back around, eyeing him carefully. He shrugged. ‘First gotta walk Kal. Before he digs up your entire garden.’

‘Perhaps.’ She laughed, looking at the dog as he impatiently pushed his nose against Henry’s knee, hearing his name but not knowing why.

‘Well. You know where to find me. I’m home practically always. And eh..my offer stands. Help a neighbour out!’ Henry smiled broadly, tsk’ing to alert Kal to follow him.

‘Thanks. I might hold you up to that..neighbour.’ She smiled in turn.

‘I’m looking forward to it.’ Henry sniffled, catching the glint of mischievousness in her brown eyes.

For the first time in a year he felt something stir inside of him, a little seed having been planted, budding in his heart as it beat with delight. 

Today sure was a good day.

| Chap 2 >

[deans-baby-momma]

Mommy’s (Not So) Good Girl-20

A/N: Only 5 more chapters after this one and GREAT NEWS!!!Only 5 more day of September so I will be posting a chapter a day until Sept. 30th. Then I am going on a small hiatus (again) to try and cope with this new “illness” and all it’s lovely side effects. 

I look at Dean wide-eyed as my mom’s voice sounds through the door. He jumps off the bed and I quickly crawl back under my comforter, pulling it up to my chest. 

“Yea Mom,” Abby says, her voice shaking. “Come on in.”

Mom opens the door and I can tell when she realizes that Dean is in my room. She looks at him shocked and stops halfway in.

“What are you doing in here?” she asks him.

“I wanted to make sure she was okay. I saw a dispute between her and that Coleman boy. I wanted to find out what that was about,” Dean explains and it looks as though my Mom buys it because she smiles sweetly at him and then continues on into my room.

“That’s sweet of him, isn’t it Abs?”

“Ye-yea,” I stutter out. “He’s a good stepdad.”

“Can I have a few minutes with her?” My mom asks as she looks at Dean. He nods and heads out the door, looking back over his shoulder at me once he is behind her. 

“What’s up Mom?” I ask as soon as he is out of sight.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry that your friend couldn’t make it tonight.”

“Huh?” I ask, confused.

“Your friend who you call ‘Daddy’.” she says, with a wiggle of her eyebrows. “You did invite him, didn’t you?” 

“Oh. Yea, I called him but he had to work,” I lie through my teeth. “It’s okay. It’s no big deal.”

“It was nice of Dean to give you a kiss at midnight though, wasn’t it?” she asks as she sits in the very same spot he had taken just ten minutes ago. “He really watches out for you and Ben. I think he’d make an excellent stepdad.” She pauses and then adds, “and a wonderful dad.”

I feel sick to my stomach! Is she insinuating what I think she is?!

“Mom, are you pregnant?”

“What?” she laughs as she answers. “No. I’m not pregnant. But the thought has crossed my mind. Dean lost so much when his brother died. He is the last living member of his immediate family. I just think it’d be nice to give him someone to carry on the Winchester name.”

‘Oh my god!’ I think to myself. ‘Mom is actually considering carrying Dean’s child! No, no no!’

“Yea, that would be nice. But-” I pause to be able to word my inquiry correctly. “Does Dean want kids? I mean sure he is awesome with me and with Ben but does he want his own?”

“I don’t know,” Mom says. “But if it were to happen, he’d have to be happy about it, right?”

“Mom, you cannot get pregnant without talking about it with him first.”

Mom sighs and then her shoulders slump. “Yea, you’re right. What was I thinking?!”

I breathe in relief that it seems that she has decided to forgo her plan of “accidentally” getting pregnant. 

I couldn't go to sleep after Mom dropped that bombshell. 

What was she thinking?! Did she actually believe Dean would be happy if she were to get pregnant? Would he? I know for a fact that they use protection, so he is trying not to knock her up right?

During Thanksgiving I had found an empty condom wrapper in her trashcan as I was gathering up the garbage in the house so I knew Dean, at least, had been thorough and had wrapped up.

I lay in bed,  staring up at the ceiling,  trying my best not to think of Dean impregnating my mother. That would just be so wrong!

Hopefully I talked some sense into her and she won't proceed with her nefarious and outrageous plan. I can only hope that if she were to get pregnant that it is after some honest discussion with the man and that he was on board with the idea as well.

Although, I don't think Dean is actually ready to settle down and have his own family.

Yes, he a excellent role model for Ben and the whole neighborhood thinks he and Mom are perfect for each other, they don't know he's also fucking me. Not so ideal now, is he?

VALENTINE'S DAY

Once again the campus is inundated with decorations. Big, red floating hearts seem to be posted everywhere, along with cutouts of that stupid baby with the bow and arrow and balloons seemingly come out of nowhere, getting right in the way.

Why college students insist on celebrating this holiday is beyond me. It's just another excuse to get drunk and try to bang someone. So many of my classmates throughout the last couple of years have had to pull back on their studies or completely drop out because a good Valentine romp ended up with a nice little surprise come Thanksgiving; a surprise in the form of a cute little baby.

I refuse to be one of those girls who get so blindly drunk she succumbs to the lame attempts by fellow college guys and 9 months later, alone and with a child to care for.

I swat away at the millionth red bag of air as my phone pings in my hand.  I look at the screen and smile when I see 'Daddy' has sent me a message.

>Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart 

>>Happy Valentine's Day Daddy. I miss you.

>God, I miss you too. My party was boring without you here.

Mom had thrown Dean a surprise birthday party at the end of January but I'd had a big exam to prep for so I couldn't make it home to attend.

>>I'm sorry. I had to study. I'll make it up to you, I promise. 

>How about today? Right now?

>>Now?

>Look up.

My head jerks up and there he is! I look around and my eyes fall on that black muscle car I remember from my childhood. The one that's been parked in the garage at home for months; Dean's excuse to spend time with Ben fixing it up and keeping it running.

Leaning against the top of the shiny ebony vehicle is the man who plagues my dreams, at night and during the day.  The way the sun shines creates a flawless glow around his head, almost like a halo. I smile as I cross the street toward him.

"What are you doing here?" I can’t help but to ask, but secretly giddy that he is here.

"Couldn't let today pass by without seeing you Abby. Thought you might allow me to take you to lunch, show me around your 'home away from home'," he says as I step toward him and he opens his arms. I gladly walk right into his embrace,  moving my books to one arm. 

I want to tiptoe and kiss him but I don't want anyone seeing anything that would raise questions, inquiries I didn't want to answer. Right now,  a hug looks innocent. Just a guy hugging a girl in greeting.

“Sure,” I say as I smile up at him. “I was just gonna drop my books off in my room and then go to the food cart down the way. C’mon.”

As we walk toward my dorm, I can’t help but feel special, feel important. Dean took the day to come an hour away to see me, on the day of love no less. Wait, does that mean what I think it means? Is there a more significant reason he is here? Is he here to declare feelings for me? 

I shake those thoughts from my head, determined not to question his visit but just enjoy it. So what if he drove almost 70 miles? He does it because he cares. Nothing more than that. I’m not going to scrutinize it; no, I’m going to enjoy the few hours I get to spend with the man. What’s that old saying, ‘don't look a gift horse in the mouth’? Yea I’m not going to do that.

When we get my dorm room, I unlock the door and walk in, holding it open so he can follow. Thank goodness Sheila isn’t here because I really don’t want to share any time I get to spend with Dean with anyone else. For a few hours today, he is mine.

Placing my books on my desk, I turn to see Dean looking around the room with his head nodding slightly. 

“So, you want to go with me to the food cart or-” I say nervously. Wait, why the hell am I nervous? Oh yea, that’s right; there is a bed not even 5 feet away and the man I have dreamed of being in that bed right there. My dream could actually come through. Getting back on track, I clear my throat. “-we could go to the cafe across campus. It’s a bit of a walk but it’s decent outside today. You know, for the middle of February in the north.”

“Yea we can do that baby,” he says with a smirk. “As soon as you tell me what’s wrong. You’re acting all shifty. Should I have called first? Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?” He quirks and eyebrow at me.

I giggle and respond. “Uh, no.  No date. Just you’re in my room. And my bed is-” I explain as I point toward the furniture. “-is right here. I’ve dreamed of you and me in that bed, ya know.”

Dean steps closer and I can see the humor of the situation on his face. “And? What are we doing in the bed?”

I feel a flush come up my neck. Why am I embarrassed now? It’s not like we haven’t done it. “Fucking,” I answer honestly, which earns me a wide smile from the man in front of me.

“Well, how long will your roommate be gone?”

“Couple hours, I think.”

“Okay, so what do you say we go grab a bite to eat and then come back and make those dreams come true?”

Finally feeling bold again, I rip my sweater over my head and say, “Why wait?”

Dean hurriedly jerks his shirt off and I watch in awe. He unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down his legs before standing up again. This man is going to be the death of me.

“I need you Abby,” is all he says before I rush him, tackling him to the mattress.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @deanwanddamons​ @hoboal87​ @marvelfanbrenda​ @vicmc624​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @elliloumom @stoneyggirl​  @kricketc29​

[missperfectlyfine13]

A Bandaid For Your Bullet Hole - (Chp. 2/?)

Read Below or on AO3/FF

TW: Mentions of overdose

August 2009

“Mom, I’ve got all my stuff in the ca….” Chloe’s sentence is swallowed back up into the atmosphere when she walks back into the living room, “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Chloe’s mom is sitting in the middle of the sofa, her arms wrapped tightly around a scruffy looking man in a mechanics uniform. There’s a few half empty bottles of booze on the coffee table and a lit joint between her mother’s fingers. She laughs airily at some dumb remark the stranger practically underneath her makes. She’s as high as a kite and probably drunk to boot.

“Chloe!” her mom’s eyes light up at the sight of her only daughter, “come have a drink baby.”

The only good thing about her mom getting high instead of drunk is that she is much happier. Her mom is an angry drunk, she turns into someone that Chloe scarcely recognizes. At least when she’s high she somewhat resembles someone Chloe used to know.

“What happened to taking me to college today?” she snaps, completely ignoring her mother’s request.

“That was today?” she asks dumbly, bringing her glass tumbler to her lips, taking a long sip of dark amber liquid.

Chloe groans frustratedly, “We’ve been talking about it for weeks.”

“Calm down princess, we can still do it,” she’s got to be kidding, she’s not going to let her mom drive anywhere like this.

Chloe shakes her head vigorously, “No. It’s fine, I’ll just stuff everything into my car and do it myself. You clearly have more important things to do.”

Her words must permeated through her mom’s hazy brain because she’s jumping up from the sofa, some of her drink sloshing out of her glass and onto the cream colored carpet, “No, Chloe let me do this. I want to do this.”

“I’m not taking you anywhere like this,” Chloe motions up and down her mother’s body, “you would just be an embarrassment.”

Her expression almost looks hurt before it turns bitter, “If that’s how you feel about me, then fine do it all on your own. See if I care.”

Chloe turns around without another word. She mindlessly shoves all her belongings into her little chevy impala, barely getting in everything she needs. She doesn’t even bother to go inside to say goodbye before driving down the road. It’s time for a new beginning, a new life, one she doesn’t have to hate. She has a good feeling about Barden, hopefully her gut is right.

************

December 2012

The winter air is crisp, sending a shiver down Chloe’s spine as her and Beca walk towards her dorm. They just left Bellas rehearsal and the air almost feels good after all the exercise.

“So, what are you doing for winter break?” Beca breaks the comfortable silence, shoving her hands deep into the pockets of her coat.

Chloe shrugs, “I’ll probably stay on campus, I might go visit my brother, if he’s going to be around.”

Beca looks at her dumbly for a moment before composing herself again, “You aren’t going home for Christmas?”

Her and Beca have gotten really close this semester, Chloe might even dare to say she’s her best friend…if she didn’t have a heart stopping crush on the younger girl that is. Even so, she’s not sure if she wants to unpack her reasoning for never going home yet.

“Nope,” she answers the question simply, hoping Beca will just take the answer and let the topic drop.

She knew she wasn’t going to be that lucky, because Beca doesn’t care about anyone…anyone but her it seems. Chloe is the only person Beca goes the extra mile for, at least from Chloe’s point of view, that’s how it seems.

“Why?” the question barely surprises her as it come out of Beca’s mouth, her breath leaving a puff of white in the air.

“It’s a long story,” Chloe tries her best to deflect, but she knows Beca won’t give it up.

Maybe opening up to someone else would feel good. Maybe to weight of her problems would feel a little lighter.

“I’ve got time, we can go get coffee?” Beca looks at her hopefully, “My treat?”

“I thought you were having a movie night with Jesse,” Beca had been talking about it all week, the excitement of a new relationship and all.

That’s another thing that has been making Chloe feel even worse than she does at this time of the year. She had a bad feeling Beca would end up with him…she had a bad feeling she was straight. Chloe loves their friendship, but it just makes everything that much more painful.

“You were literally coming to my dorm to hang anyways, that’s not until later,” Beca laughs.

Chloe’s cheeks burn red, “Oh yea, sorry, blonde moment I guess?”

“You’re not even blonde, you don’t get to use that one.”

Chloe gives Beca a playful shove, “Shut up.”

After another five minutes of walking, they finally end up at the coffee shop. Before Chloe knows it, there’s a steaming hot cup in her hands and Beca looking across the table at her expectantly.

“So now, why don’t you go home for Christmas?” Beca parrots the question from earlier, making Chloe squirm uncomfortably in her seat.

“So, I guess it all really started when my dad died,” Chloe twirls the paper cup in her hands, attempting to channel her nerves into something else.

Beca nods, encouraging her on.

“My mom kind of self-imploded after his death…it started with drinking. It just spiraled from there, drugs, lots of sex with random men. It made all four years of high school miserable for me,” Chloe can feel tears threating to spill, she never talks about this, “after my first Christmas back home in college I vowed to never go back until she got her shit together.”

A hand reaches across the table to settle over her own. Chloe looks up into Beca’s eyes, which are sad and empathetic. It makes her feel comfortable, grounded, Beca’s hand against her own. Her fingers twitch underneath the touch, she never wants to break the contact.

“I’m so sorry Chloe,” Beca says softly, “that must be really hard…so I take it she’s still pretty bad?”

Chloe nods slowly, “Uh yea, I’ve tried to get her to go to rehab but she won’t listen, I’m worried she never will.”

“I know this is nothing compared to what you dealt with,” Beca looks vulnerable as she speaks, “but high school was really rough for me too. My parents got a divorce and my dad married my now step monster. I felt so betrayed, I felt like nothing would ever be right again. I felt like my dad was giving up on me.”

“I’m glad you shared that,” Chloe turns her hand so it’s holding Beca’s instead of lying limply below hers, “I’m glad I’m not the only one with a shitty story.”

“I mean you definitely win if we’re comparing, but yea, it was nothing to write home about,” Beca smirks.

Beca finally pulls her hand away and Chloe instantly misses her touch. She quickly moves her hand back to her cup, lifting it to her mouth, not wanting Beca to know how much the little contact affected her.

“Do you want to come home with me for Christmas?” Beca asks after a few moments of silence.

The question practically makes Chloe choke on her latte, “I couldn’t do that Bec. Your family doesn’t even know me.”

“They know of you,” Beca replies nonchalantly, “plus they would love you.”

“So, you’ve talked about me to your family?” Chloe quirks an eyebrow.

It’s Beca’s turn for her cheeks to fade into a light shade of red, “They were asking if I made any friends…so I told them about you.”

“Don’t be embarrassed Beca, I love that you’ve told them about me. If I talked to my mom, she would know about you, because you’re one of the best things about this semester,” Chloe says honestly, hoping the blunt truth doesn’t weird the other girl out.

A smile the size of Texas spreads across Beca’s face. She doesn’t seem sure how to respond, but Chloe knows she probably feels similarly if her expression is to judge.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Jesse to go home with you for Christmas instead of me?” Chloe suddenly remembers Beca’s boyfriend.

Beca shakes her head no, “He has his own family to go home to, plus I’ve only been dating him for a month. I’d much rather have you come with me…especially because I want to save you from having to be here for three weeks.”

“I’ll think about it,” Chloe finally answers Beca’s offer.

She’s going to have to think hard about it, the last time she went home with someone for Christmas…well let’s just say it’s not a fond memory. It was an almost eerily similar situation. She had known Aubrey for one semester and after the blonde found out about her mom, she had invited her home for Christmas. She also needs to remind herself that it was a very different situation all together.

************

December 2009

There’s no hiding the fact that Chloe is scared to go home for Christmas. She’s scared about what she’s going to find. It’s the first time her mom has been alone for that long. Chloe watched out for her more than a teenage daughter should.

She also left on bad terms in the fall.

She could walk into anything really, which is terrifying. Which is why the whole drive back to South Carolina, Chloe is practically shaking with nerves. She probably shouldn’t have loaded up on coffee like she did, the caffeine isn’t helping. Aubrey has called her on and off, offering her support…and the reminder that she can go to Aubrey’s house if it’s too bad. Chloe was determined to make this work though; she didn’t want to run away on her mom completely. Chloe is not a quitter.

About an hour later she finally pulls into the driveway of her mom’s house, the windows are dark even thought the sun set hours ago. That’s already not a good sign. Chloe puts the car into park and takes a deep shaky breath. She gets out of the car after a few moments of composing herself.

She slings her bag over her shoulder and walks up the path to the front door, her hand shakes as she lifts the key to the lock. Chloe pushes the door open slowly, she can hear the TV blaring some infomercial for air tight containers. It’s the only light illuminating the living room. As Choe steps further in the door, she can see her mom’s identical mop of red hair flowing over the arm of the sofa, her hand hanging limply down onto the floor. She can’t make out much else with how dark the room is, the blue-ish light of the TV making everything look a little eerie.

An ice-cold feeling courses through her, her heart rate picking up. Something isn’t right, she can just feel it. Chloe throws her bag down onto the floor and rushes over to the sofa. It barely looks like her chest is moving up and down, her lips look a little blue. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a baggy of pills on the coffee table. Shit. This can’t be happening.

“Mom,” Chloe says firmly, “Mom!”

Nothing.

Chloe kneels down next to her and shakes her vigorously, “MOM.”

Her hands shake as she pulls her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. Her fingers can barely hold still as she dials 911.

The operator is calm and comforting. She walks Chloe through checking to see if her mom’s heart is still beating. She feels like she’s floating through some nightmare as she rips her mom’s shirt open and starts chest compressions. She has no clue how long she hammers into her mom’s chest before the door busts open and the paramedics are pushing her out of the way. Her vision blurs as she finally lets herself cry.

She’s not quite sure how she gets to the hospital. The world finally comes back into focus when a nurse carefully approaches her and asks if there’s anyone that she can call for her.

“Um, my best friend, Aubrey,” her voice sounds foreign to her.

************

When Chloe’s mom finally is stable and back at home, Chloe leaves to go back home with Aubrey. Before she leaves, it isn’t pretty, her and her mom scream and fight, but there is no way she’s ever going to come back home to that again. Chloe gives her a final ultimatum: Go and get some help or I’m done here.

Christmas is miserable, even though Aubrey’s family is warm, inviting and sympathetic. They make her feel like she’s family. Even so, Chloe has never felt more alone. She feels like she has nowhere to go. She has no one to bake her cookies to take back to her dorm or give her a hug that feels like home when she needs it or give her boy (or girl?) advice. She’s all alone and it’s something she’s going to have to get used to.

************

December 2012

“I’ll go home with you,” Chloe offhandedly mentions to Beca as they sit on the bed in Chloe’s room at the Bella house.

Beca’s eyes light up and the chips she was munching on practically fall out of her mouth, “Really?”

Chloe nods, after thinking about it, the idea of having people to spend Christmas with would be really nice. It’s something she hasn’t experienced since Christmas her freshman year.

“I would love to,” Chloe smiles happily at the younger girl next to her.

“That’s awesome!” Beca exclaims, “Oh shit, I’ve got to book the flight like now then.”

“You haven’t done that already?” Chloe looks at her quizzically.

Beca shrugs, “I was waiting to see if you would want to come first.”

“You could have missed out on getting tickets Bec, you shouldn’t have.”

“I know, it’s ok though, I wanted to,” Beca looks down at her phone, which has flight listings to Seattle already displayed, “get your snow boots ready Beale, it’s been chilly out there this year.”

“You know, I’ve only seen snow a couple times in my whole life,” Chloe already feels excited thinking about seeing the fluffy, white precipitation.

Beca’s eyes bug out, “Dude, we are so going sledding.”

For the first time in years, Chloe is starting to feel excited about this time of year. This might be the best Christmas she’s had in a long time…