#also so many people have just assumed im not trans and have no skin in the game which like fine ig you dont know me

[queershakespeare]

do you ever get one too many annoying comments in the notes of one of your posts and have to white-knuckle yourself out of getting in a fight with strangers online who have misunderstood your original intention

[fun-eralsss]

was making a post about all my intersex headcanons, but i realized that so many of them were from homestuck that i might as well make a whole post solely about them. so yea :)

btw this one’s gonna be LONG AS HELL

homestuck headcanons (intersex edition because i do what i want :p)

first off, the humans!!

jade harley (NCAH): honestly, it’s mostly just vibes. plus her whole thing is dogs n stuff. dogs have a lot of hair. you know who else has lots of hair? people with NCAH

roxy lalonde (AIS): remember that whole thing where hussie revealed the last two letters of her name first, so everyone immediately headcanonned her as a trans woman, then it was confirmed that she’s cis? homegirl can have XY chromosomes while being cis! bada bing bada boom!

ok now the trolls!! (this section will be significantly longer lmao)

sollux captor (Chimerism): first of all, his blood is literally yellow, so yknow. second of all, duality is a HUGE part of his character! it just makes sense for him to be a chimera to me tbh (i also headcanon that gold and violetbloods are more likely to be medically recognized as intersex but that’s an entirely different can of worms)

nepeta leijon (PCOS): same reasoning as jade, but her whole thing is cats. cats have lots of hair. you know who else has lots of hair? people with PCOS

kanaya maryam (Klinefelter’s Syndrome): most people depict her as being super tall, and you know who tends to be super tall? yeah :)

(i know that it’s kinda implied at all jadebloods are female, just let me have trans intersex kanaya. i beg. i grovel at your feet)

terezi pyrope (undeclared, likely Chimerism): i feel like she would really love to bring up her intersexuality while arguing with a transphobe or intersexist. she would also probably not disclose what her specific variation is so they couldn’t pull the whole “you’re just a fe/male with a dsd!!!!” bs. also, balance is a huge part of her character, so i feel like chimerism particularly suits her

equius zahhak (Hyperandrogenism): his body is quite literally overflowing with testosterone. man is literally sweating 24/7 and frankly, no other indigobloods seem to have as much testosterone as him, so we know this isn’t typical. they’re all strong, yeah, but this guy is on a whole other level. i just KNOW this boy’s skin is oily as hell

(also yes!! i headcanon equius as a cis guy with hyperandrogenism!! intersex doesn’t just mean “man with lots of estrogen” or “woman with lots of androgen”!!)

eridan ampora (PAIS): ok this one is one im actually super passionate about. in the og comic, all female trolls are consistently drawn with black lips (with the exception of nepeta, who i’ve already included on here). all the male trolls are drawn without the lips except for eridan. eridan is shown to have black lips in multiple panels! back when it was first pointed out, most assumed it was because of how feminine he is compared to the other guys, but you know what? idc!!! that boy is intersex and indulges in toxic masculinity due to his insecurity!!! idc what anyone has to say!!! also his blood is literally violet so yknow

damara megido (CAIS): i think she would get a really big kick out of not having body hair, periods or the ability to give birth. obviously there are downsides to it, but i doubt those would get in her way of having fun. i also think she would really like reclaiming That One Japanese Slur For Intersex People

cronus ampora (MAIS): mostly cause vibes and the fact that he’s related to eridan, so it’s more likely. what can i say, the ampora boys are very “does being intersex make me less of a man?” coded

bonuses!!!

rose lalonde (PCOS): she gives me the vibe of a woman who has PCOS but doesn’t consider herself intersex due to how little it affects her. tho i imagine that she’s done lots of reading on intersex variations considering how two people she cares deeply about (kanaya and roxy) do consider themselves intersex

dave strider (MAIS): i know that trans dave is a super popular headcanon and don’t get me wrong, transgender icon dave strider will save the world!! it’s just that for me personally, i’ve only been able to see him as an intersex guy. though in his case, i imagine that he would find out pretty late into his life. and like his sister, considering how little it’s affected his life, he wouldn’t consider himself intersex either

anyways yeah that’s it :) have a good day <3

[dnphobe]

Looking at how they've presented themselves over time is always interesting. I think the queer experience of slowly questioning societal and gender norms (and gender, in many cases) is something I recognize in them. Im also curious how Phil's journey is different because he was out to his close ones for a lot longer, and it feels like Dan has more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma that he associated with the label. I loved seeing their support of queer identities even when they were publicly closeted. It's nice that, even if they weren't comfortable being out, they wanted everyone to know they were a safe space

i agree! the different ways they've presented themselves to us over the years is one of my favourite topics to talk about tbh!

dan's journey wrt to gender presentation and how he feels about gender (not gonna theorise on how he identifies bc what do i know, but to quote him he's fine with being viewed as a man but also not offended if people use pronouns/gendered terms outside of that to refer to him) is interesting because he's said he's always been "flamboyant" but tried to hide that in his youtube career for a long time, and he's gone from saying "i can't do it i'm just such a boy" about painting his nails to having them painted more often than not, but also in day in the life of manchester he said he sometimes wishes he was a girl when looking at 'women's clothing', so it's clearly something he's felt for a long time.

i don't think phil necessarily feels the same pull to be gender non-conforming, but it is also something he's struggled with doing (in one of the stereo shows, when talking about the maid dress he wore in VPMO 2, he said that while it was a cheap joke outfit, a few years ago he would not have felt comfortable wearing a dress at all) so that might be something he's still working toward being comfortable with, but at the same time he's never felt shame about telling us things like he likes using raspberry scented body wash or that he does skin care (while when phil mentioned doing skin care dan was clutched by toxic masculinity saying "don't do- i mean that's fine!"

agree with dan having more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma and i'm so glad he's reached where he is now! phil...i think for a long time he thought he didn't NEED to shout about being gay, especially because like you said he was out to a few people for longer. but i think it's something he realised he DID want to do after coming out to us. as he said in his coming out one year later video he didn't realise how much of himself he was holding back from us by not being out and it feels like a weight off his shoulders now. i think they both love being gay and shouting about being gay and celebrating that with us and im so proud of phil too <3 i actually have a hot take which is i think if it wasn't for dan's coming out he might have never fully come out to us, not just in a "if dan never had he never would have" way, but in a "if he and dan never met he wouldn't have" way, because he IS a private person and didn't think he was missing out on anything.

i am always so glad they made sure we knew they were accepting of us even if they weren't ready to be out. ngl it got kind of rough in like 2012 for me when dan was so adamantly against people thinking he was gay my own internalised homophobia brain went "does he hate gay people?" but that's on me, not him, or more accurately on BOTH of our internalised homophobia situations lmao. but yeah they've always been so sweet about their queer and trans fans, and one thing i personally appreciate so much is how they will use they/them for any fan they don't know the gender of no matter what their name/appearance/voice would make other people assume their gender to be! i feel so safe with them, and im gonna add this bc im still sappy after this weekend, so safe with phannies too <3 i think phannies queer identities and dnp's queer identities have ALWAYS flowed into each other and both sides of the parasocial line have made the other side feel safe and grow into their identities and helped them accept and appreciate other people's identities.

[boy-gender]

Ive been gaining a worrying amount of followers very quickly, and that already makes me a little wary, but thats okay! I want this blog to help more and more trans men and transmasc people feel they have a place to celebrate themselves and one another!

But unfortunately, lately, ive seen an increase in followers from a very specific, very insular, very niche group. Transnazis.

Now at first I didnt know what this was and assumed, as im sure many of you reading this will, that this means "im a nazi, and also transgender. I am a trans nazi." No. That's not what it means. Transnazism, one word, or any of its weird censored typing quirk variants, means "im not a nazi but i feel like i should be. I relate, somehow, to the aesthetics of the third reich." This is part of a slightly bigger but still very small group called transbigots or transharm.

I've spent the last two weeks or so since I noticed an influx of them trying to decide what to do. I'm not a huge blog by any means, but this blog is growing rapidly and has considerable reach in transmasc circles. I believe I have a duty to my followers to shield you all from the worst of the garbage that I encounter (one of the myriad reasons I dont respond to hate messages). So Ive been debating just blocking these people and not commenting on them publicly, because frankly I wish I could unknow what I know about them and I'm sorry to have to pass it on to y'all.

But seeing a small drove of them come my way and decide, somehow, that this is a place for them, that they're welcome here, or that I am somehow in solidarity with them frankly makes me sick. I have losing sleep, disrupting my schedule, missing appointments, and disordering my eating all because I am caught in a cycle of anxiety about these people being anywhere near me. I feel so viscerally uncomfortable I want to take off my own skin, and every time another one comes along or I read what they say, i can feel the physical pressure of all the vitriol i want to scream at them clogging up my throat.

To any transnazi or transbigot or what have you that may be following me who I missed, or who may want to follow me in the future, I have a direct message:

Do you huff paint out of a plastic bag? Are you breaking into zoos to get high licking rare exotic frogs? What in the FUCK is wrong with you? What fucking aesthetic of nazism could you possibly want to center your identity around- the skeletal bodies of camp survivors? The rooms of stolen teeth? The mass graves? Or do you just like a red white and black color palette? Explain it to me. I want to know exactly what I did that appeals to you so I can never do it ever again. I do not accept you. I do not welcome you. There is nothing here for you. I wish you a drastic and painful change of heart- I hope you get better, and I hope it hurts the entire time.

But while we wait for that, FUCK. OFF.

[whilomm]

a completely unproven but sensibleish sounding theory regarding discrepancies between "male" and "female" tattoo charts i found on google

so, had a discussion last night regarding these Tattoo Pain Charts that I see posted a lot, specifically this one that depicts "female" and "male" pain maps, which seems to be posted across various sites (including "reputable" ish ones like healthline)

to head off the obvious question a lotta ppl on tumblr would probs ask, "okay what does this mean for trans people?": fuck if i kno. Like, fat distribution probs plays a role meaning it will probs depend partially on hormone status ("do you got tits? big or small hips?" etc) but also none of the sites im seeing. get into that. they just kinda tend to drop this chart in there and not explain jack shit. when i say "men" and "women" thruout this, assume i mean "cis men" and "cis women" bc i assume these are based on the cissies and fuck if i kno how this applies to trans ppl

anyway, at least some aspects of this chart seem to make sense. Apparently major factors in tattoo location pain tend to be how close it is to bone, how thin the skin is, and whether its fat or muscle covering the area. so, if the women they surveyed for these things tended to have more fat on their hips relative to the men surveyed, itd make sense that you might see more of them rating the hips as less painful. same thing if a lotta the men they surveyed had more muscle in certain areas.

BUT.

personally, there are a couple bits that look uh. weird to me.

NOW, of course, I have no data to prove these charts are bunk due to not being a researcher and only having one (1) tattoo, but. they look weird right? well, I decided to look at the sources (at least the ones i could find), and on the healthline article, the source for the discrepancy in gender pain levels is this paper:

...now, I can't find if like. the graphic is directly pulling from this paper, or if the healthline article is just sourcing it and the graphic was made using a different paper or was just made independently, but still, the paper has some interesting bits to look at.

overall, the paper looks solid enough to my non expert eyes. theres a couple of weird bits, like all the stuff about the sexual origins of tattooing which. fuck, i dunno. maybe. but It seems like the overall conclusion the paper came to was that there actually wasnt that huge of a difference between perceived pain across men and women surveyed, tho (unless i missed it) it doesnt specify if it means overall whole body averages, or if it means area per area (but i was skimming so. mightve missed it lol). it does note that there were differences in pain LENGTH after tattooing tho, but that also might have to do with the size and type of tattoos gotten

the paper does take care to acknowledge a few problems in methodology, which I think might be relevant:

there was some difficulty in finding people to survey right after they got the tattoo, because a lotta ppl they asked said no they were tired. fair.

because of that, a lotta the data was taken somewhat significantly post tattooing, which can majorly effect the perception of the pain (asking about st that happened 5 minutes ago vs 5 months ago)

pain is subjective. duh.

generally, the men surveyed got bigger and thus more time consuming tattoos than the women surveyed. This effects the type of pain experienced apparently (dull pain, sharp pain, radiating pain) and of course general levels of pain.

people may report more or less pain in an effort to look "tough", and this might be more prevalent in men

pain perception might be affected by how many tattoos someone has and thus how used to tattoos they are, plus a lotta stuff about "blocking out the pain" in various ways, but "participants were not asked whether this was their first or subsequent tattoo", so that might skew the results

the paper outright says there were a LOTTA limitations and more research is needed

which ya kno, is all pretty interesting. So, the results could easily have been skewed by stuff like this being participants first tattoo, and men mightve self reported less pain in gen, hmm..... this leads me to my theory for why at least a couple of the weird spots on the charts exist:

these charts might be skewed by popular locations for first/only tattoos, especially in the womens chart. the pinterest zones*, if you will.

*authors note: this is not to diminish these small tattoos in these specific areas, just noting that these are very popular areas specifically for getting mini tattoos, and places where a lotta ppl, mostly women, get their only tattoo. theyre trendy and make good pinterest pics ya kno? theyre cute. Also, the author literally just got a mini tattoo on their wrist and thus can reclaim.

my theory is that at least some of the survey results were skewed by the fact that some of the red areas just happen to be super popular for cute lil tattoos that a lotta ppl get as their first/only tat, especially the wrist. search "mini tattoos" on pinterest, and youll see a ton of wrist tats! youll also see a lot of ankles, clavicles, and. ouch, at least a couple of inner elbows. yeah. no. dont like that one. but my theory is that for at least a portion of the women surveyed, it went like this:

woman gets first and possibly only tattoo, specifically one of the cute mini wrist tattoos that are trendy

because its her first tattoo, she doesnt have much of a frame of reference for how painful different areas are, and also stuff like being nervous/tensing up mightve made the experience more painful in gen

when asked to complete the survey she says that she got it on her wrist, when asked about the pain levels thinks "oh yeah, it hurt like hell! hm, 8 out of 10 pain wise i guess?"

now the survey has a buncha woman who got a trendy tat in a specific area, rating it highly bc it was their first tattoo and they were nervous so it hurt more and they dont have a frame of ref, and that skews the data

thus, woman's pain bracelet.

like i said i have no proof of this but like. even if these charts used different survey results, the same or similar research limitations mightve been present, and unless they only solicited responses from ppl who are tatted up head to toe they probs got a lotta ppl who only have one/a couple of tattoos, including a lotta woman who got trendy wrist/ankle tattoos. like. maybe? maybe not but Maybe. or maybe women are just biologically disposed to Pain Wrists. and we dont have data on how this applies to trans people of various genders, because of course we dont. why would the people making these graphics care about that.

quick someone find out nonbinary people's tattoo weakpoints.

...also idk whats up with the stigmata. like. i get that the palm is probably Bad Hurty. lotsa nerves there. but not the fingers??? theres nerves AND bones! maybe its like. idk, asking dudes with hand tattoos and they say "oh yeah like the center of the palm and the back of the hand were the worst parts" and instead of writing it down correctly (most of the area is orange, but those bits specifically are red) they write down "hand tattoos cool 👍 EXCEPT STIGMATA!!!"

anyway. this is written very rambly. but theres my theory. these maps are at least partially a heatmap of popular first/only tattoo spots, which skews the data maybe. or maybe these graphs are complete bullshit based on no data really. fuck man idk. pain bracelet.

[cornfields-td-nonsense]

Geoff and Duncan :P

Geoff and Duncan for the character ask game!

Sexuality Headcanon:

Geoff is as bi as the day is long. I haven't fully watched ridonculous race but I've seen how he is with Brody. cmon. "I love you, man"/"I'd marry you all over again" the subtext is just text

Duncan....... eh idk. he's straight most of the time when I think of him. though I could see him being closet gay.

Gender Headcanon:

Geoff can be a trans guy purely bc his colour palette is the trans flag. im a simple man with simple tastes.

Duncan gives nb vibes but also he's like canonically transphobic so 🤷 (im joking, mostly)

A ship I have with said character:

Brigeody. Geoff has two hands.

I don't really ship Duncan with anyone but if I had to pick someone it'd be DJ. Duncan would probably make him worse but I think there's a world where DJ can make him better

A BROTP I have with said character:

Gweoff. Their friendship was SO GOOD in that one episode and I'm genuinely sad they dropped it.

I'm the only person in the world who thinks this but I wrote an entire oneshot where Sierra and Duncan are friends and it unironically made me love their hypothetical friendship. (The Ex-Fangirl and the Ex-Con on ao3 if you're curious) I also really loved him and Gwen as friends but I'll save that for another slot

A NOTP I have with said character:

I don't really have a NOTP with Geoff. all his ships range from "Yeah!" to "ehhh whatever" in my opinion. so. yay

Gwuncan. Yeah you knew it was coming. Like. I don't understand, they were so good as friends and there was a whole thing in Action about people assuming they were a thing and Gwen especially hating it, and then suddenly come World Tour they're into each other??? what??? they were so much better as friends Why Couldn't They Have Stayed Friends. and they didn't even get time to act like a couple and then in AS all they do is argue, obsess over Courtney, and then break up so what was even the point. uuuuuuuurhggrgh I know there's people who love this ship. that's totally fine obvs. it's just a ship at the end of the day. but it really grinds my gears.

ANYWAY RANT OVER

Random headcanon:

Geoff owns loads of sunglasses. like so many sunglasses. every time he goes on holiday somewhere, or anywhere with a gift shop, he ALWAYS buys sunglasses. it's an actual problem lol

Duncan makes most/all of his own clothes and accessories. All-Stars floated the idea of him and Zoey sort of being friends, so let's go with that. they can bond over doing DIY together.

General Opinion:

Geoff's pretty cool. Not my favourite, but pretty cool. I liked how they made him more than just the chill party dude, and showed this mean streak of his during TDA. I love a good corruption arc. and Her Real Name Isn't Blaineley was top tier. overall he's pretty good

Duncan is... ehhh. My opinion on him fluctuates. Every time I think I hate him I remember the DJ's bunny incident, or him and Beth in the finals, and every time I start to like him I remember all of TDWT. I guess it boils down to: he definitely has his moments, but most often I'm indifferent to him or he annoys me, and sometimes stuff he does and says really gets under my skin. I do really like how he is in fanon most of the time, because normally I'm a sucker for the "tough guy with a soft side" trope, and TDA was easily the season I liked him most.

[milkweedman]

Sorry I wasn't being clear when I said "mirror terf"--it's not a thing anyone says. I meant it as an allusion to, like, "mirror-verse" style stories. As in, terfs think transfems are men and hate both men and penises, and the two banners together felt like it could be someone who would think transfems are men but loves men and penises. It wasn't my best writing choice, so I hope that clarifies what I meant

I could have just been oversensitive about associating the two banners next to each other. I think just one banner per post would do the job, but it's not really your problem if I feel weird reblogging a post because of the banners. Like, saying "I think just one banner per post would do the job" still feels like being demanding of a stranger on the internet

Same asker as before, and you know what? I think I've just let terfs get too under my skin. The banners say that you love men and love cock and one can assume the combination of the two, and that doesn't say anything about men without cocks or an inherent man-ness of penis. Sorry for the trouble.

(Maybe knowing your motivation for certain does make a difference, though? I didn't, for instance, see all the trans symbols in your bio when I saw your post)

(i think that addendum belongs to you, theres another anon i got in between and similar typing styles in both messages, so i may be wrong, im just guessing based on context)

---

thank you for clarifying, i really appreciate it ! that does clear up the stuff i was confused about. one of the many other anons suggested the addition of a trans related banner, which is increasingly sounding like a reasonable way to at least imply that a cissexist reading is incorrect. like, i don't really like the concept of other trans people reading one of my posts and getting the knee-jerk reaction of 'this feels like a terf but to the left' or something, and thank you for bringing it to my attention that you were, because that matters to me. so if seeing the trans symbols makes it more clear that im talking about all men (regardless of what they're packing) and not people who don't identify as men, then that would be a good solution to me, if it also sounds good to you and any other trans people, especially if they were originally put off by the banners.

[variousqueerthings]

Asking this genuinely in good faith but: im confused about what you mean when you say sex is a construct like gender? obviously like. The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct. But I dont see how actual biology is? Obviously there needs to be greater understanding of the nuances of differences in sexes, and its not a binary like how a lot of people talk about it. But the difference in chromosomes, anatomy, hormones, etc. between different sexes is real, and it’s scientifically relevant to distinguish between them when performing clinical studies etc. so i guess i just wonder if you could elaborate on what you mean exactly when you say that? Thanks!

hiya, hope all is well in wherever you are anon. EDIT: well this got long

I assume you mean the post I reblogged about acknowledging that sex is also a construct that shifts depending on the agenda of the person speaking about it

first things first, gonna acknowledge, this is not my expert topic. a big reason why I reblogged this post (and a few other similarly ones over the years, reminding me that my tagging is a mess and I need to clean that up) is my allyship for intersex people - I want to listen to what they're saying, so my first big shout-out is to read up on what intersex people are saying about their lived realities and politics

also as a recommendation I've been enjoying a lot of what @genderqueerdykes have been writing (I believe I rb'd that post from there), which is a general widespread queer intersex-gender-and-aromantic-fuckery-based positivity, that is good for my all over the place soul (also I am currently unemployed, but if someone has a bit of cash to spare there's a continuous fund to help support through homelessness at the top of that blog)

secondly to second, I agree with you --it is important to be able to distinguish various characteristics in human bodies (for example, say, the ability to give birth, let's go with a big one there, not everyone can do that one) so that we can effectively support people medically, do important clinical studies, and also, for sure, speak about elements of bodies that are gatekept, monitored, denied agency, and otherwise become elements of a society that is white supremacist, colonialist, patriarchal, ableist, queerphobic, transphobic and -- returning to aforementioned under-discussed elephant in the room -- intersexist

so to clarify on the idea of the post you're referring to, whilst also going into why I've just listed out some of the violating institutions of our society, the way we decide what defines sex, is changeable, and comes from our cultural norms, it's 100% what you said "The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct" <- you're very much understanding the post with this sentence

take sports. sports is currently one of the biggest spaces we're seeing this out in the open. the notion of what defines a Woman (sex-and/or-gender-malleable-depending-on-the-speakers-agenda) is changeable depending on skin colour, country of origin, "masculine" features (also white supremacist in function, who can forget that tweet where three cis non-white women were "called out" for being trans women -- I've seen similar many times), being intersex (whether or not the person knew about it beforehand, and in Caster Semenya's case, she was tricked into giving up that information, so that's a big non-consensual medical violation amongst all the others), and of course, the patriarchal idea that women just must be weaker all the time, and if they won't be it on their own dime, then we'll change the rules and force/coerce them to do things to their bodies that they did not consent to. gender roles enforcing sex as social construct

I note that since the 20s and all through today, women have had to undergo various humiliating checks to "prove" that they were real enough women to play sports. which coincidentally is what people have been saying girls are risking having to do now in America if things continue the way they have been

as a sidenote, I was watching a neat little documentary interviewing various trans people in sports called "Game On, Queer Disruptions in Sport," which included a story by a Bulgarian ex-rower who back in the day was ousted from professional rowing for being tested positive as intersex. in their story they talked about how actually over half the team were, but it was only because they told their coach and it became public that it was a problem. where does sex end and gender begin in all of this? whose agenda does it prop up when not talking about something "allows" some people to be women and others not to be (to be clear, they no longer ID as a woman, but if memory serves as intersex as their gender so that adds a whole nother dimension, but boy oh boy this is getting long)

sex -- in the sense that people are born with different chromosomes, levels of hormones, developmental Stuff that hijinks how those hormones interact with the body, and a million other facets that affect what we call sexual characteristics -- is real, in the same way that height differences are real (here's a video by philosophytube, which from memory is very trans-skewed, which, understandable, she was going head-on with the terfs and transphobes at the time, but I do think less overall on intersex people -- but yeah, she did the height example there, I'm borrowing it)

how we decide to enforce gender through sex, what sex counts as Enough to be allowed access to [insert gender], what sexual characteristics are allowed without censure and/or other forms of violation of body and (you guessed it) how that overlaps with ideas about gendered characteristics, how we create the gender roles based on our assumptions about sex, and then how we enforce those gender roles onto sexual characteristics like a depressing game of ping-pong, in which each reinforces the rights of the other part of the "argument" to say "well, we need to constantly remain vigilant in order for the world to be neatly divided into two, easily distinguishable categories, otherwise Chaos will ensue! how can we know what a Man and a Woman is if it's not clear cut somehow!" (deep breath)

we're.... sort of on the path of going "well alright non-binary is a thing, as long as we assert that this is purely Gender, the Thing Going On In Your Head Ya Weirdos, perhaps we can just about allow something that's a catch-all third gender type thing in a few countries (although, notably to meeeee, not in the UK)," but we haven't yet truly begun to deal with the fact that whatever is going on with the human body is so much more complicated than that and people are absolutely suffering because of this

and the more one thinks about the sheer rabbit hole of this reality, the more one realises just how damaging we're being, first and foremost to intersex people, and then spiralling, hitting every bigoted institution branch in the book on the way down, because well, okay, gender we'll juuust about accept can be fluid and changeable, but we'll not actually... interact with how bodies are fluid and changeable, because of genes, geography, medical intervention, illness, or idk, a hundred things I havent thought about

so in conclusion: how do we decide to define sex-and-gender? what is our agenda with discussing sex/when we bring it up in our politics (and I mean this not just as a hypothetical for frothing at the mouth rightwing bastards, us, who I believe to be well-meaning, too)? is it to end surgery on intersex babies, is it to make sure transmasc people can access pregnancy support, is it to allow girls and women (any and all girls and women) access to healthy outlets in sports, etcetcetc? is it to be able to more effectively discuss the ways bigoted institutions interact with one another to enforce their ideas onto bodies? or is it to rigidly enforce the divide and insist that while we'll allow the gender thing (again, just about, with caveats, heavy disclaimers, etc) there are two sexes, and never shall the twain intersect, interact, overlap, or indeed have anything to do with gender, for they are immutable objective realities that are not at all affected by our politics and ideals...

it's a sad, unsexy state of affairs

I hope this gave a little introductionary Thing and curiosity to poke at it further. potentially somewhere where someone has much more detail on the actual Philosophy of all of this, because I'd think that's cool, and also for this is like. pokes here pokes there, and also can you tell I'm actually jock from the focus I decided to take there? no? whew still in the closet on that one

[blubushie]

what you said about being intersex hit close to home.

im intersex as well and for a long while ive felt like im not cis or trans enough to be fully either.

because of my condition, i hit puberty really early developing both male and female sex characteristics. for this i was mocked during my entire adolescence as i was seen like a freak.

currently i guess i identify as nothing. gender as a construct has always been incredibly alienating, nonsensical and cruel and having autism on top of it never helped.

i dont think i will ever understand gender, but now i am not the only one

Yep, I was mocked too. Kids called me a girl and all that, and I started going by another name (the name my parents were going to name me if I'd been born female) by the time I was 14. And from 14 to 16, I was living life as a girl because it was what society expected of me. And I kinda went back and forth for the longest while, hence the idea of bushgender. Plus side of the bush is that I can do feminine things and not worry about people judging me for it. I didn't really know what I was and even doctors couldn't give me a definitive answer.

I'm content being a bloke, and I'm glad my outward appearance reflects that. I don't reckon gender itself is a purely social thing--a lot of it is rooted in biology--but most gender roles are purely cultural or societal and change depending on what culture you're looking at. And I like that about that bush. It's just nature out there. I can be incredibly masculine in the bush and do things associated with being masculine without people thinking I'm compensating for something. And I can knit, or bake, or do the few things considered more feminine that I actually enjoy, and I don't have to worry about what people might think if they see a bloke knitting.

It's a weird thing when you've lived in the middle for so long. I got treated like a bloke and I got treated like a chick. For my first year in Australia before I really grew the beard out I just became... apathetic to it all. I looked like a butch chick. Someone would approach me and not know what to use. "Whatever you're thinking is the right one." That usually made people assume I'm nonbinary but I'm... not? I've always been a bloke. But I just got tired of correcting people. It was a losing game. Luckily my voice is deep enough that most people assumed male once they heard me talk, but I can't count how many time I've been at a B&S and been approached by a bloke who just thought I was really flat-chested for a chick. And that part sucks too.

But it's less of an issue as I've gotten older. And in time I've also just gotten less involved with gender in general. Everything feels so performative on both sides, and I hate performances. Blokes act overly masculine (becoming obsessed with fitness and pickup games, becoming obsessed with The Grind, etc) because they feel they need to and they're pressured by other blokes and chicks. Chicks act overly feminine (becoming obsessed with makeup and skincare routines, becoming obsessed with clothing and such) because they feel they need to. And you can tell when someone's actually passionate about fitness, or bettering themselves, or fashion, or skin health compared to them doing it because they're trying to live up to gender standards. And everyone is so goddamn materialistic. So I just don't worry about gender anymore. I'm Blu, and Blu's already weird enough, so what's a little extra added to the mix?

Anyway! This has turned into a rant. Gender is weird, people are weird, bodies are weird, you do you and don't worry about the rest. :]

[spiderton]

Spiderton headcanons. Go

anon i love you forever. anyway SORRY I DIDNT ANSWER THJS INSTANLY IM A LAZY ASS BUT HERES A LOT. OR A FEW. depends

- spiderton is somewhere always in his mid 30s or late 20s, probably.. changes up? maybe he was 28 when he was apart of the military and then 35(?) after most of the events of patapon tbh. who knows how long the rainbow bridge took to built though

- theres many ways that spiderton couldve joined the war but thanks to a friend i just hc'd that he was a mechanic that worked on most of the mechanical side of the zigoton empire. hes interested in tanks of course (because he got taught likw that rosetinted version of war in school or something) and on the side i feel like he also enjoys architecture and weaponary. he often compliments kharmas home but never herself becayse shes a little tooo mean to him

- and speaking of tanks the tank spiderton built (he built it. to clarify here although some think its just whatever demons they made a deal with) was rushed due to fhe conditions of patapons slowly beating up troops and resources going low, and with gong basically dead he rushed the tank up andnwent to battle inexperienced. the original sketches of the ziggerzank were probably so much more ambitious and grand, like the zugagang that probably had plenty of time to be built compared to.. ziggerzank and all. and really he doesnt like being a fan of being uncredited for his work whatsoever

- very minor hc but he probably wore some specialized gloves to even use the fire lance. zigotons biologically wise to me have pretty weak skin underneath the fur, and spiderton has pawpads that can easily burn, and often fire enchanted weapons feel BOILING hot so. he wore basically oven mittens that are actually flexible. they werent comfy to wear and sometimes when training he even forgot them and got burnt a little even (and hes embarrassed by that honestly)

- autistic and disabled. disabled wise it switches i think but mainly, if he lived, he ended up getting partial (? could be using this wrong feel free to tell me) leg paralysis because whatever beatup he got was NOT good on his spinal cordhe ended up keeping winona to help with walking sometimes (shes not really the best) and get from place to place, but he probably just uses something like the rewalk equivalent to get around. that or he ends up loosing a leg and has a prosthetic.. could be explaining this all wrong but i imagine it all humanwise, but can be canonwise too of course

- winona (his warhorse, and name was given by uhhh.... il forgot im so sorry) wasnt the best experienced horse bc most of the other warhorses ended up dying during battle, and winona was one of the last horses that they just gave them to spiderton. he probably had OTHER horses while training but he got stuck with winona, and winona just often acts like a big cat to be honest

- also hes a trans man. dont ask how hes many things i really like him. that or hes cis i dont really care which either but i like him being transgender.. youd know why. zigoton culture is probably netural or... Fuckingnhorrid about trans people when i think about it for too long agguhh but his mom probably didnt even care.. probably bisexual too

- also his mom, widowton (VERY basic name im sorry) ended up being a widow unironically. and she also ate spidertons dad because he wasnt a good dad and all. no one else really knows that fact and assumed he went missing however, but spiderton doesnt have.. the best relationship with his mom that he moved out to apartments when he was 19. he doesnt have any other family members that he knows of..

- spiderton is REALLY impressed by karmen architecture and weapons. probably after the ah-oohs were murdered off and the karmens got to flourish.. he just finds them very impressive, beautiful, and marvels of technology. not entirely related but got the feeling that karmens at least had a help inventing guns or something, but they arent very widespread

- spidertons real name is kumoton. its not his deadname to clarify.. he didnt bother to change it. only a few people ever call him kumo however because mostly everyone just knows him as general spiderton that he doesnt bother to correct (and being called general MIGHT make him happy if it didnt remind him of so much horrid shit)

- and uhh his Relationships he probably has a good friendship with kimen if they ever met! they always gave off the vibes that theyre nerds a little so they geek about the smallest things. maybe kimen likes biology and tells spiderton everything he knows about gastropods (gancheeks, mainly) and spiderton writes it all down because hes slowly growing impressed too!

- him and beetleton is. wow this is a mess but i feel like nonship wise they were friends at least. bickering friends but they probably DID care for each other, and beetleton doesnt have.. a lot of people to lightheartedly bicker with. i dont think beetleton ever left spiderton to die on purpose too, and when he ever realizes that spiderton died or was in critical injury and couldnt return? beetleton blames himself heavily on that.

- and then more onto kuwa, if he was kumoTAN itd be a lot more messy. kumotan wouldnt really forgive kuwagattan, and one of the reasons i feel he doesnt appear is because hes just been forgotten by everyone else, but kuwagattan never forgot and hes just so sorry for everything. even if kuwagattan is a demon, he still wonders what kumotan would think- and somehow convinced himself that maybe kumotan would come over and help him with this fight! and then he didnt. oops

- if spiderton did live though he probably wouldnt know of kuwagattan, at leaaast at first.... he just assumed beetleton died in the war and doesnt like to ever think about it, and mayhe is a little mad but his feelings are just conflicted. and then kuwa SOMEHOW comes back and now spiderton has to deal with the war he was in and now is trying to avoid reminding him of every single mistake he made. and its gonna be a lot

- i could say so much abut the spiderkuwa dynamic too but i could just imagine kuwagattan just casually breaking into spidertons apartment and going Hey uhmmm i need a place to stay and youre all i know....... and jts the fucking Uhm... Meow? scene trope thing basically. and now spiderton has this giant hot demon for a roommate. its actually okay though but remember what i said before? yeah

- also spiderton probably doesnt have a lot of friends. probably was homeschooled real often, that or he DID go to physical school once in a while.. always felt like his only other friends outside of beetleton were probably some of his engineering buddies (one of which is like. one of the few first ocs i made LOL) before he was dragged into being a general.. hes too awkward to ever revisit or anything

- always had the feeling that spiderton is based on these silk weavers.. theres probably red ones but they just come to mind first, so now he probably smells like bananas LOL

- (honestly though he'd just smell like gasoline or sweat. that or both, he doesnt shower real often but he likes to swim surprisingly sometimes)

[k-ru-h]

ok first of all. i am sius #1 defender and i wouldnt accuse him of shit without proper proof but. i actually think its important to talk abt this. and second of all this is the only time im ever posting fastpass screenshots but just because the appearance of a character is extremely relevant

listen i know we're all very excited at the idea of a canon gay character in tog, but i really dont think this was the best of moves. tog has so far been mostly pretty alright with handling gnc characters (think how well aka was treated by others, khun being very feminine, etc) and i dont think this one fuckup will change that just. siu is a grown ass adult from a very conservative country and his portrayal of intersex characters such as evankhell or aka isnt very, well, "woke" (evankhell being the only lead brown woman while being "half man" plays into a lot of racial stereotypes, as well as treating intersexuality as a literal curse). i kind of wanna like , talk about this new "queer" character kaya (i saw ppl call him that online, idfk) and like. ill just go thru my points in no particular order idfk ive written too many coherent essays for school this week abd it's 3am i think i deserve a fucked up little one

ok first of all. jesus fucking christ what is this character design

so uh. heres our gay male character! with massive fake tits, lipstick and long hair! this wouldn't be a problem in media already filled with other queer characters, but on its own, especially with the character being darker-skinned yet again, it plays into a lot of stereotypes abt trans women, as well as brown women being masculine. and listen, i know tog has a lot of very wacky character designs, but it also has a lot of gorgeous ones, and while i really dont think it was sius intention to make a transphobic, racist caricature (istg you can psychoanalyse this man just off of tog alone), i think it definitely has something to do either with his own internalised racism and transphobia, or with a lack of education to spot a (hopefully) mistake by assistant artists.

here are some random ass caricatures of trans women i found online and by god i am not crediting this shit, but. look at what i mean. the fake tits, the dress/skirt, the long hair and lipstick.... the resemblance is startling.

but okay. lets say this by itself isnt important. siu made an oopsie and we got a canonically queer character that defends his right to like men unapologetically, and bam didnt seem to mind, and was polite abt it! weeeeeellll... the thing is, this whole fucking thing is a ploy. and if it turns out siu negates my previous point by making it turn out that kaya IS just playing a caricature on purpose because he wants the political advantage and isnt actually gay but is, in fact, homophobic, i will eat that shit up. that would actually make a very good point and having a critique of homophobia is better than having a homophobic gay character. but lets say he is gay for now, lets assume. that still leaves a possibility that he is gay AND just using bam, but lets just assume thats not the case either. lets say he's actually gay and actually wants to marry bam, for whatever fucking reason. bam being polite doesnt mean shit!!! people on twitter are unironically saying this means he's okay with being in a romantic &/or sexual relationship with a man when it literally does not. bam isnt okay with any of this. from start to finish, be it a man or a woman, bam is in this nonconsensually. and one of bams core personality traits is his kindness and politness, and he's been in kayas shoes before, albeit not for queerness specifically. bam isnt a participant, bam is a fucking reward and object and just as that one guy calling khun a "cute little kitten" while literally discussing how much his worth as a slave would be isnt queer rep, neither is this! even if the two of them are actually gay and actually attracted to the two respectfully, they still treat them as objects to be sold or bought for political advantage. someone on tumblr once said that a drag queen will always be a better ally than a gay ceo, and! yeah!

anyways, in conclusion, this is at worst an accidental bigoted caricature, and at best a very good joke on all of us. source im gay intersex trans and i actually go outside and interact with real queer people instead of having pronoun discourse on tiktok. thanks

[werewolfsonpage211]

trans and autistic

this is just my personal account of how i feel being autistic has effected my transition. these experiences are in no way exclusive to being autistic and trans. i havent seen a post like this so i thought why not make it. cw gender dysphoria.

change. i dont like change.* unfortunately its kinda what transitioning is all about. when i first realised i was trans i thought i would never tell anyone. when i realised i wanted top surgery i cried. i kept questioning for years if top surgery was right for me because the idea of purposefully changing my body like that was so foreign to me. and yet i wanted it. it felt wrong to want it. it took long to get over my own bias that plastic surgery is unnatural or selfish and to accept why i myself wanted and needed it. after all that soul searching it was comparatively easier to realise i also wanted hrt. hrt means many small changes happening gradually, which made it easier for me to get comfortable with the idea. the fact that you can microdose it and that you can stop the treatment whenever you want to absolutely helped. it also helped to "try out" some of the effects. do i want a lower voice? i could feel it out by lowering my voice and doing voice training exercises (ofc not the same result as hrt but you get it). do i want more body hair? i reflected on how i felt about the sparse but present body hair i already have, and how it felt to find new hairs (euphoria!!) also ngl the tiktok beard filters helped. *thats a simplification, but many forms of change make me feel uncomfortable.

communication. i felt i needed to be absolutely 100% sure about my identity before coming out to Anyone. i struggle with unclear communication/instructions so i tend to assume other people also prefer more details rather than less details + i fear that other people will missunderstand me if im not clear enough. and in order to be clear i felt like i needed to Know beyond a doubt my gender, pronous and name. this lead to me being in the closet longer + seeking care later than i probably would have otherwise.

emotions. i struggle with anticipating other peoples reactions to stuff. i feared how my parents might react - would they cry? would they argue with me? would they think i was weird? and theyve literally been so chill about it. i would say my bar was on the floor but there really was no bar, i had no expectations at all because i couldnt even guess.

change again! asking people to use new pronouns and a new name. i first came out with using all pronouns. i now use he/they. saying i used all pronous felt easier because it meant no correcting people. turns out it wasnt right for me, and i kinda already knew that when i came out. but i felt i had to take it in small steps. i was never the one to cannonball into the water from the diving tower. i walk in slowly, one step at a time, rather putting my body through every small shock of cold against my skin than that one big shift. to some it might seem like self torture but to me it is the more comfortable choice. i wanted to come out but i wasnt ready to ask people to stop using she/her. so "all pronouns" became a stepping stone, one i am very grateful for. some people want nothing to do with their old name. im changing mine to the masculine coded version of my old name. calling it a new name is rich seeing as im just removing a few letters. i want the change to be as undramatic as possible, for both me AND for everyone else. other people being uncomfortable makes me feel Super uncomfortable. with the small change im making its easy to cover up if the worng name slips out. to me, my old and new names dont even have to be regarded as different names, just variations of the same name. yeah, i prefer the masc version, but tbh i will answer to anything that sounds remotely like my name. i just want it to be uncomplicated. in the same vein, my prefered pronouns are he/they, but im not going to correct everyone who calls me she/her. when and on whom i use that energy will be highly circumstantial.

special interests. ive done a lot of research. ive read a lot about gender affirming care, what it can (and cant) do, where and how you can get it, what people who have gotten it have to say. ive watched a lot of trans youtubers video essays and commentary, a lot of top surgery vlogs, and several videos made by medical professionals documenting the surgical procedure of detitification itself. ive joined several internet communities on facebook, discord and reddit to take part in other trans peoples knowledge, experiences and thoughts. ive prepared and held presentations on being trans on tdov. and i tend to forget that not every trans person ...does all that. (which is not a critique, i know its a lot.) (which is not a brag, i know im weird.)

societal norms. gender roles are weird right? and the whole concept of gender? thinking about it can give me a headache. i think autistic people are slightly more likely than allistic people to question the gender binary, simply because were more likely to not conform to social/societal norms. i initially identified only as non-binary. now i identify as a non-binary trans man. i do still wonder why i identify as a man - what makes me a man, what makes anyone a man, what makes me feel like a man. and i hate to say it, but i havent come up with a satisfactory answer. i just do. it doesnt completely make sense to me, but it makes more sense than anything else. at this point ive just accepted that some things give me gender euphoria, some things give me gender dysphoria, and all in all i think "man" describes me fairly well. i also think if id been amab i wouldve still identified as non-binary, just not had as much dysphoria nor required as much gender affirming care. i could go into further detail on my exact gender identity, but i also dont feel the need to be super open about it. not everyone needs to know every part of my identity. most people only need my name and pronouns. and as i said, i like it uncomplicated.

hey share your own experiences of being trans and autistic if you like? in tags/just add on to the post! i probably will if i think of more

[transfemlogan]

6 and 20 for the fandom ask!! :DDD!!

positive fandom ask game

something you see in art a lot and love

how creative people get w/ side designs !!! im not entirely sure why everyone gets so creative with how they draw the sides, im assuming it's because they shapeshift & also bcuz it tends 2 be a thing with youtube egos or like... those minecraft smp guys who have block skins, but for whatever reason this fandom draws the sides so fun and i think its great.

i know i hate a lot on fanon designs, bcuz the most popular ones can be ... unison & boring ("janus has long blonde hair" "patton is blonde & blue eyes" "logan has black hair" "patton is fat & everyone else isnt" etc etc) but when people get creative and stray away from fanon, it's the coolest shit ever !!!! i once saw a janus who didn't have a face because a clone stole his face. literally what the hell where does that even come from & also thats the greatest thing ever .

i love seeing sides of colour & disabled sides & seeing all the different ways people draw remus & romans outfit on & queer sides & just how creative people get with headcanons . its beautiful. i love hrj3i2iwiueuwiehuwke BLOWS UP

your very first fandom!

my very first fandom was the powerpuff girl fandom. i used to draw ppg fanart like CRAZYY. my fave character was buttercup & also i kin her & i had 2 million ppg ocs & like 20 million personas & boy versions of each. idk why the ppg was so obsessed w/ boy versions of themselves, maybe i should have realised i was trans way before then. based on how many boy versions i had of myself.

[a-dragons-journal]

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am [x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)

[normal-thoughts-official]

With a little help from your friends (the help is praise kink and the friend is your boyfriend)

Who would have thought that fucking your boyfriend senseless cures dysphoria.

Alternatively: being a dom is actually something that can be so gender,

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Pairing: Andy Kang/Tom Sato

Additional tags: let's see, mild mentions of transphobic and racist comments, Comfort Sex, the filthiest comfort sex uve ever seen but WHATEVER, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Dom/sub Play, Collars, Praise Kink, basically someone says transphobic shit and then tom rides him and talks about how wonderful andy is, except tom has also been in denial for a few days and he's super horny, and andy gets in domspace and everything is great and nothing hurts, Fluff and Smut, Humor, cuz u know these two are incapable of taking anything too seriously, Established Relationship, oh they're both in college and they go to the same college cuz i said so, set after the events of it lives beneath, that's it I think, trans author if that matters to you

Read it on Ao3

Andy isn't having a great day. It's not a terrible, clawing-at-his-chest-trying-to-deal-with-dysphoria kind of day, but he's been trying out this "not comparing everything to the worst possible scenario" thing his therapist has been talking about, so still, not a great day.

The thing is, he thought college would be easier. And it is, in a lot of ways. For starters, there is no evil monster spectre trying to kill him, which gives college at least 5 points over high school. And his uni has a pretty solid queer club, so he knows other trans people there. Some of them are even non-white. Some of them he even actually, truly likes. And most of the time, he feels like he has a place to turn to, and people to support him. He's not alone. He has people who get him. And that makes all the difference.

But basketball is still a nightmare, and his knee still hurts when it's cold, and winter is officially starting now.

People still hesitate to pass the ball to him, and it's frustrating, because Andy fought so hard to earn his old team's trust and now he's back at square zero. And well, Andy has been gaining this team's trust, because he's good, goddamn it, and his team owes at least the last three victories to him. He's not hesitant to say that, especially because otherwise no one will. And he can see that they look at him differently now - nod at him in the hallways, at least, talk to him in the locker room, pass him the fucking ball if his position is very, very open.

But if he weren't trans and Asian, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get all of that - or well, just that, really. He has a full sports scholarship despite the fact that he had a broken leg, had to retake his last year of high school, and doesn't even have the body type for basketball. If he weren't Asian, if he weren't trans, his team would have assumed his greatness from day one. Instead, he has to show it to them time and time again only to get them to reluctantly admit maybe he's not bad. No one calls him "triple threat" anymore, but he still has to work three times harder than anyone else, and it's frustrating.

And usually Andy can deal with it, but right now his knee hurts, and he can't afford that because he'll lose everything he's worked for if his teammates know that his fucking knee hurts. So, he braved training and then he got the fuck out of there without even changing so no one would see him wince. Which means he's still in basketball shorts, which are short, in the cold, which means his leg hurts more.

At times like these, he's thankful he never got the chance to go through with his promise to break his other leg kicking Noah's ass. Because he would have, and then both his legs would be hurting right now, and two legs that hurt every time it's cold is just too many legs.

No comparing to the worst possible scenario, he tells himself. Therapy is so hard. If he had known there would be homework, he would have thought twice about going.

And that's, apparently, the cue for his phone to go off. Andy smiles, knowing who it is even before he opens the message, because only one person messages him during class, and it's the only person he wants to hear from right now.

Tom <3 sent you a message

Grinning like a fool, he opens it.

Tom <3: dude, im horny af rn. the fuck

Finally, good news, Andy thinks, smiling. Then he remembers why Tom is so horny, and suddenly this day is great, actually.

He quickly types a reply.

You: who wouldve thought that 3 days of denial would make this happen

Tom <3: ill have u kno i was very good at holding it together before today

You: yeah, dw. soon u wont have to hold it anymore ;)

Tom <3: that flirt was terrible, dude

You: said the guy whos calling me dude for the second time in this conversation

Tom <3: what else should i call u? 😩

Andy thinks for a second. Tom and him do longer-term denial every once in a while, but they aren't in a 24/7 relationship. Does Andy really want to go there right now? Yes. Well, that was fast. Okay then.

You: how about "sir"

Tom's reply comes fast as lightning.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

Andy smirks at himself.

You: uve been hoping that id say that, havent u?

Tom types for just a little longer this time.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

----

Many things are wrong with the world, and Andy doesn't mean to make light of the other things, but the fact that Andy can't simply go and fuck his boyfriend whenever he wants is definitely one of them. It should be, like, financial compensation or something. We're so sorry the school environment is transphobic, here, have a free sex pass. Sounds fair to him. But instead, he still has two hours of classes to go through, and Andy is a better guy than he wishes he was, so he tells Tom to pay attention to class instead of sexting him, because he doesn't want Tom to struggle even more with his course when he had already had to leave it once. God damn true love or whatever.

The point is, by the time classes are finally over, his day is back to not being that great; he's tired, and his leg hurts. He gets to their car after Tom does, and Tom takes one look at him, and says, "I'm driving".

Andy crosses his arms. "Why?"

"Because your leg hurts," Tom answers, rolling his eyes and taking Andy's bag from him and putting it in the trunk.

Andy looks down at his legs. He wasn't limping. There aren't any bruises. How the hell-

"It's cold and you're in shorts. I'm not an idiot, dude."

Right. Yeah. Right. Of course. Tom knows. It's… It's alright.

"Bad day at training?" Tom asks, slowly, sympathetically, and Andy feels himself settle in his skin a little bit.

"The usual," he answers, getting inside, and, as always, Tom gets the hint.

---

Their uni's dorms are gender-segregated because these guys have still not gotten the memo that people of the same gender fuck; and Andy wasn't willing to deal with cis college guys' bullshit, much less cis college girls' bullshit; and the uni wouldn't let him simply pick Tom as his roommate. So, they rented out a beat up apartment right next to it instead. It took a little longer to get there, but it wasn't a lot longer, and well, it was worth it.

Tom gets inside, still carrying Andy's bag because he's transphobic and unfair and had taken it and bolted up running so Andy wouldn't have a chance to argue with him. And Andy can't run after him with his leg hurting, which kind of proves Tom's point that he should carry Andy's bag. All in all, Tom is the worst, and he turns up the heat as soon as he gets inside and sits Andy down on the bed, kneeling in front of him to take a look at Andy's knee.

He's silent for a while, massaging his knee until Andy sighs and throws his head back, before Tom plants a little kiss on his knee and looks up at him. Andy's knee always stops hurting when Tom kisses it better. It's a little embarrassing, if Andy is being honest, but still- nice. Really nice.

They stay for a little longer like this, Tom humming and massaging his knee and Andy not meeting his eyes, until the question inevitably comes.

"What happened?" Tom asks, not letting up with the smooth movements of his hands, his eyes big and sincere with worry.

"Nothing. Just the cold. You know how my knee gets."

"I meant, for you to leave practice without putting some warmer clothes on."

Andy looks away. "It was nothing."

"Dude, are you expecting me to go, 'okay, yeah, that totally makes sense and I believe you', or…?"

Andy laughs, despite himself, and throws his good leg up in an almost-kick to pretend he's retaliating. "Don't be an ass."

"I'm not. Come on, Andy. You know you can tell me."

"It's nothing, it's just- Kyle-"

"Oh boy."

Andy laughs. "Yeah." But then he grows serious, "the thing is, he doesn't mean any harm, you know? I know he's not saying it to hurt me, and so that just means that, like... that it's true."

Tom's hands stop their movements, rubbing soothing circles around his knee instead. "What did he say?"

Andy doesn't look at him. "He asked me why I didn't stay on the women's team. Said that I could have an advantage, cuz Asian people are androgynous anyway, so no one would notice that I was taking hormones."

Tom just stares at him in shock for a moment.

"And I was like, 'dude, I've been on T for three years, I'm pretty sure they would notice the changes'. And he was like, 'yeah, but you still look like a lot of Asian girls with short hair, you could write it off if you wanted', and I just…" He trails off.

Tom waits in silence for a second, seeing if Andy finds his words, before asking, "Is Kyle, like, okay?"

Andy scoffs. "I didn't try and fight him, if that's what you're asking."

"No, I mean, does this dude have a screw loose or something?"

"He's very bad at figuring out what is or isn't offensive, yeah, but it's not like he really cares, he just won't go out of his way to antagonize me."

"No, I just- Andy, even when you were a little kid with huge pigtails, anyone would have to be crazy to see you as a girl."

Andy bites the inside of his lip. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not. It's just wrong, man. It was so obvious that it was wrong. Anyone could tell. There's nothing about you that says 'girl' to anyone who's looking."

Andy sighs, finally risking looking at Tom's eyes. There's overwhelming sincerity there, and Andy instinctively looks away. "I guess. Maybe. I don't know. It just got me thinking... Maybe T didn't change anything. Maybe I look exactly the same, maybe it was just hopeful thinking that had me thinking it would change anything, maybe it's just- pointless to even try-"

"No, no, come on," Tom says, and the interruption is so sudden it makes Andy look at him again, just in time to see Tom shaking his head vigorously. "There's no way you believe that. What about this bad boy over here?" He smiles, reaching out softly to caress Andy's neck. "You have more of an Adam's Apple than me, dude. And we both know you don't need T to be a guy, but thinking it made no difference is just crazy and you know it. What about those dry pecs? These broad shoulders of yours? Your voice, I mean, come on. You even smell different, man. How can it be pointless, if even your scent is different?"

Andy looks to the side again, but he can feel himself smile. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Tom gets up, but stays close, putting his hand on Andy's cheek, slowly, as if testing the waters, before turning him slightly to look at him. "Andy. Kyle is an idiot and a transphobic racist who's too damn lazy to realize how fucked up he is. And you shouldn't have to deal with that, and I'm sorry, and I will set him on fire."

Andy laughs. "You can't keep threatening to set every shitty teammate I have on fire."

"I can, because it keeps making you laugh," Tom says, smiling. Well. Andy can't argue with that. "My point is, you wouldn't listen to a word this dude says if it were about anyone else, so don't listen to him when he talks about you, okay? T or no T, you're no girl, and you don't look like a girl, and regardless of whether or not Kyle's dumb ass noticed it, your transition has been doing you good. Remember when your voice started to crack and get all weird? I've never seen anyone be that happy about it."

Andy laughs. "It was pretty awful."

"No, it was great, 'cause you loved it. Do you want me to pull out the 'before' pictures we took in case this happened? Look at yourself, dude. You fit so much better in your own skin, you know? And like, you've always been gorgeous, but-"

"Come here," Andy interrupts, pulling him down because Tom is standing and Andy is sitting and Andy is already height-challenged. And Tom goes willingly, carefully straddling Andy's lap and meeting him in a kiss. Finally, Andy thinks.

Tom kisses him softly, slowly, one hand resting on the back of Andy's head and the other draped lazily over his shoulder, as he usually does, all gentle and a little hesitant, and Andy is having none of that. So he grabs Tom's hair and deepens the kiss, bringing him closer until their chests are flushed together and he can feel Tom's hips mindlessly making little circles against Andy's belly.

They separate - or well, stop kissing, really, because Tom is still as close to Andy as physically possible, and Andy feels about ready to shoot anyone who tries to push him further away. Tom's a little breathless, and his hips are still making these almost imperceptible movements against Andy, and Andy realizes that he's still grabbing Tom's hair and that he's a little breathless, too.

Tom looks down at him for a second, as if debating something with himself, before saying, "and like, not to be horny during a serious moment, but since we're talking about the effects of T... Andy. Andy. Your clit. Fuck. It's so huge now, and it's got a visible head and you can fuck my face and everything, and I could sing it praises for a week and probably will if you don't stop me right now."

"Hmm, but I like it when you sing me praises," he smiles. "Keep going."

"God, I was hoping you'd say that. Do you have any idea how much I've been thinking about it today? I didn't hear a single word anyone said to me, all I could think about was you fucking my face, pulling my hair, making me worship you and beg to be allowed to suck you off, I wanna serve you like you're my God." Tom's hips start to jerk up, more visibly this time, shameless, and see, this is why Andy's been really, really liking this whole denial thing - Tom has only started to explore his subby side recently, a little ashamed of it to admit it to anyone, even himself. But when he's horny enough, he gets shameless and desperate about what he wants, and god, nothing is more beautiful than Tom when he asks for what he wants. He feels something growing inside of him, not sure if it's warmth or heat, but seeing Tom like that, wanting him, needing him, definitely makes him feel so much better.

"Yeah?" Andy asks, tracing a finger over Tom's shoulder, close to his neck, just to give him goosebumps.

"Fuck yes, I want it so bad, and you deserve it too, Andy… Sir. You're the best Sir I could ask for, I just want… Want you to use me, want you to cum on me, want to kiss you all over and worship you and pleasure you, you're so gorgeous..." He hides his face in Andy's shoulder for a bit, but his hips don't stop moving. He whines, "Andy..."

"Address me properly," Andy snaps, feeling the edges of worry clear from his mind and giving way to that wonderful feeling of clear-mindedness, of power, where nothing matters but his own pleasure. "And maybe I'll give you what you want, if you earn it."

Tom nods, hips full on thrusting now, and Andy snaps again. "Stay still."

And he does, immediately, without question, biting his lip and keeping his eyes shut with effort. Andy can feel his thighs clenching and spasming over his, trying to keep himself from moving, trying to be good. He hums in appreciation, but doesn't praise him for it, not yet.

"I'll get you ready," Andy explains, before reaching to Tom's hair, and starts to undo his bun, as slow as possible, just to watch him squirm. He gets so impatient when Andy undresses him, which is why Andy never misses a chance to drag it out.

He begins by removing Tom's jacket, sliding his hands slowly over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling the firm muscle there, digging his nails just a little bit so he can see Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. When the jacket falls to the floor, Andy begins circling the hem of his shirt, sliding until his hands are back on front, fingers just close enough to Tom's cock for him to feel Tom tense in his hands, so damn sensitive to his touch, so needy. God, he can't get enough of this, but he pretends that he doesn't notice, lets Tom try and keep himself together as Andy's hands slide over his belly, then chest, over the shirt, collarbone, wrapping and resting on Tom's throat just so he feels the threat of it, before Andy finally grabs the back of the shirt's collar and tugs, taking it off. Then he slides his hands back down, making sure to run a finger just over the sensitive spot where his pecs end, then lower, over his ribcage, belly, hips, next to the bruises where Andy had grabbed him the night before, then back to the middle, just over the bulge in his pants, and Tom finally breaks and jerks up slightly, letting out a little moan.

"Sir," he whines, "please, please, I-" Andy continues to circle the head of his cock with his finger, "please!"

"Patience," is all he says, before going back to his painfully light movements, imagining Tom's needy cock twitching under his fingers, imagining the effort Tom makes not to thrust up or keep begging for more, just because Andy told him not to. "You know how much I like playing with your pretty little cock. You said you wanted to serve me, didn't you?"

"Yes- yes, Sir."

He hums, noncommittally, not looking at him. "Good." He teases the tip of his clothed cock some more, enjoying the way his mind zeroes on that, the way he feels like he has all the power and the time in the world. Finally, he pats Tom's thigh once. "Get off, and take off the rest of your clothes. Get the lube and a condom."

Tom gets up, a little shaky, and does as instructed, while Andy reaches down to the drawer under the bed where he keeps his dick's spine and a few of their toys. He gets the spine, then adjusts his packer briefs so he can put it on - best purchase of his life, really, those briefs. So much easier to use than a regular strap-on and it makes the packer sit over his clit just right, making a little suction and pressure. Andy couldn't be happier that he was already wearing them.

Tom gets back with everything he asked right in time for Andy to finish making his dick hard, and goes on to put the condom on and cover Andy's cock in lube with the kind of attention that makes Andy hold his breath. Tom's so careful, yet eager, and adoring, about it. Andy feels like the hottest guy in the world.

Once he gets permission, Tom sits on his cock, slowly, getting adjusted to it - admittedly, Andy went a little overboard when he bought his first cock. Andy waits until Tom is fully seated, littering his neck with little kisses and praise for how well he's taking him, how pretty he looks, until Tom looks fully comfortable and ready to start complaining if Andy doesn't start fucking him in earnest soon. That's when Andy shows him the other item he pulled from the drawer - Tom's favorite collar.

Tom's reaction is instantaneous. He throws his head back, moving over Andy's cock as he lets out a breathless, almost choked moan; the hands he had resting on Andy's shoulders suddenly squeezing full force in his need.

"God, you're such a whore," Andy says, casually, and Tom nods, even as he flushes. The collar is just a simple black one, with a little hoop for the leash, but inside they had it engraved with the words Andy's whore, and it left visible marks that could be seen for a few hours after they took it off. It never failed to drive Tom crazy, so it always drove Andy crazy, too. "Stay still," he warns, and Tom nods, breathing heavily, gripping Andy's shoulder as tight as he can as he stays frozen in place. Andy slowly puts it around his neck, checking with his finger to make sure it's not too tight, and the second he clasps it in place, Tom's whole body relaxes, a content little sigh escaping his lips, his face slack and blissed out. He likes being owned, so much. Andy can't get enough of it. "Good?" he asks, just to make sure it's not too tight.

"Perfect," Tom answers, the words leaving him in a sigh. Andy then ties the leash to the headboard, making sure that they're just far enough from it that he'll be feeling its pull the whole time. Tom lets out a moan. "Thank you, Sir."

Andy smirks. "Now, here's what I want you to do," he says, "you're going to ride me, just like that, and you're not going to come until I tell you to. You're definitely not going to come before I do. If you come close, you'll have to tell me. I want to hear you scream, so make as much noise as you want. Do you understand?"

Tom nods again, almost dizzyingly quick. "Yes, Sir."

"Good, then get to it."

Tom doesn't need to be told twice. He starts riding him, slowly at first, trying to find the perfect angle for Andy - not himself, Andy notices, pleased. Once it's perfect, Andy orders, "faster, slut,” and Tom obeys, as always, working up speed as he tries to keep himself upright, feeling the tug of his leash with every movement, moaning the whole time. “Good boy,” Andy says, and Tom’s responding whine is high pitched, embarrassing, needy. He gets even faster then, starting to babble as he keeps on working, and Andy just stays casually in place, not having to do a single thing while Tom works to give him pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so perfect, did you know that?" Tom asks, quickly sliding down on Andy's cock, making sure he puts all this weight in the end so Andy's cock will press down against his clit just the way he likes, making sure to go as deep as possible, "I've been dreaming of your cock for days, god, Sir, nothing's better than this," he hides his face in Andy's shoulder, speeding up even more, thighs shaking with the effort, and Andy puts a fist in his hair and pulls, watching as Tom throws his head back and lets out a scream, working even faster on Andy's cock. "Sir!," he whines, "oh, thank you, thank you, feels so good, oh my god, please, I'm gonna-"

"No, you won't," Andy interrupts, "I'm not even close to coming yet. Keep working, slut."

"Y-yes, Sir," he whines, going faster, deeper, and Andy makes it harder for him, keeps pulling at his hair to expose his neck, litters kisses and bites on his exposed throat, grabs his thigh and squeezes hard enough to bruise so Tom remembers he's his, his whore, his toy.

"I love it when you get like this," Andy says, doing his best to keep his tone even, even as he's a little breathless from pleasure, from power, "I bet you want to come so bad, don't you? If I'd just give you the word, you'd be making a mess of yourself, coming on my cock right now-"

"Fuck! Yes, yes, Sir, please, I'm so close."

Andy smiles. "No."

Tom whines, so cute, adorable, and Andy is nice enough to leave a little kiss on his shoulder, grounding, calming him down. Before going right back to torturing him, "no, you don't get to come for a long time yet. I want you just like this, on edge, tasting it…" Andy grins. "Tell me how close you are, baby."

"I'm- I'm so close-"

Andy slaps him in the face. "You can do better than that."

"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode, I'm so close, I want it so bad, and you feel so good, God, you have no idea what you do to me, Sir, your cock is so perfect, it hurts, I need it- need to cum on your cock, Sir, please-"

"No."

Tom chokes on a moan, and starts to go even faster. He lets out a little whine, something Andy thinks was supposed to be a word, but doesn't come close.

"See," Andy says, "this is why I won't let you come. Look at you - every time I tell you no, you get so desperate, so obedient - it's what you want, isn't it? You want me to keep telling you no, you want to know your pleasure doesn't matter, that you're just here to serve me."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes-"

"Good, then keep going. And beg all you want- I like telling you no, too."

Tom does. He begs, and he says thank you when Andy denies him, again and again and again. Thank you, Sir, thank you for using me, for putting me in my place, I'm yours, I'm yours. And he keeps on praising Andy, praising his cock, his body, the way he fucks him and uses him, no one else makes me feel like this, no one deserves to be worshipped and served like you, Sir, I want to make you feel good-... Until even the clear-minded state of domspace begins to crumble and Andy feels nothing but pleasure, and confidence, and power, and he cums to the sound of Tom praising him and begging, once, twice, three times, until his head is clear again and everything, even the need to chase his own pleasure, is gone, and he just feels perfect.

"Stop," he orders Tom, who's still babbling more and more incoherently, endless praise and worship, and Andy finds that he worships Tom right back. "I want you to get my cock as deep inside you as you can, and stay still. I'm going to play with your dick for a while, and when I tell you to, you can come. You did well today, baby."

Tom nods, suddenly struggling to use his words. "T-thank you, Sir," he says, already frozen in place, thighs clenching with the effort not to move and also shaking with all the effort he did before.

Andy coos. "Poor baby. You were so good to me today. Let me take care of you."

"You always- always do, Sir," Tom replies, and Andy smiles.

He gives Tom a long, slow handjob, making sure Tom stays still through it, enjoying the way his thighs shake on top of Andy's, the pressure of Tom sitting tight on his cock, the way his arms also shake with effort where they rest around Andy's neck; Tom's pretty, exposed throat all marked up around his collar, his breathless little whines as Andy makes sure to do it just the way he likes it, makes his cock turn red with need; watches Tom bite his lip, because when he has to keep still he becomes so quiet and needy, even as the little whines go through his lips… Until Andy finally says, "come for me, baby," and Tom screams through an orgasm that lasts almost a minute, hanging on to Andy as tightly as he can to keep himself anchored through the pleasure.

And then Andy holds him, and Tom holds him back, and they hold each other.

----

A while later, they've cleaned up Tom's cum so it doesn't get all sticky on Andy's chest, and Andy's finally taken off those damn briefs - they're great for sex, but get pretty tight when you wear them for a long time - and Andy holds Tom against his chest. He's humming, contently, and if anyone had told him at the beginning of the day that he'd be comfortable enough to have someone close to him while he's fully naked, he'd - well, probably assume they meant Tom, but still be skeptical.

"How do you feel?" Tom asks after a little while, finally opening up his eyes and saying hello to the world.

"That's supposed to be my line," Andy laughs.

"I feel great. Perfect. Next time, I wanna do it for longer. A week? Let's try a week. Or two weeks…?"

Andy laughs. "Let's not make too big of a leap yet."

"Fine. A week sounds good. Great. And now that we've established that denial is totally bomb for me, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I'm feeling great, too," Andy admits, playing with a little stray of Tom's hair, swirling it around his finger, "I think I needed that, a little bit. Who'd have thought that having you ride me and praise my cock cures dysphoria."

"Every trans top on every forum I've ever visited."

"Let me have my moment of realization," Andy mumbles, faux-annoyed. Tom just laughs, holding him closer.

"I'm just glad I could help," he says.

"Please tell me you didn't ride my cock just to help."

"Well, no, in case you hadn't noticed, I was horny as fuck. I just tried to, you know. Use that to give you a little push. Since you wanted to. Y'know. Also, it was all true. So..."

"Thanks, love," Andy says, earnestly. "I love you."

"I love you more."

They bicker about it, and Andy's smiling the rest of the day.

[wcamino-confessions]

Okay wow I usually don’t say this kinda thing especially after I swore off ever touching amino but I feel like this needs to be said.

Have you guys tried to educate her? Yes. Did she refuse to listen? Yes. does she have every right to be criticized for her actions? Yes. We’re her actions bad and unruly? Yes. And does she deserve backlash for them? Yes.

You guys have every right to be mad at Tae for what she said and done, her callout post was immature, her statements were not researched and she refuses to be educated, she’s clearly confused and says blatantly wrong things. Her actions so far have been shown to be rude, sarcastic, or childish at best and again you have every right to be mad and vent about it.

To be clear I absolutely hate alm and blue lives matter, everyone and anyone who defends them are racist and people who refuse to be educated r especially racist and you have every right to call em out on it. But like... be a lil nicer to the minors???? You can still criticize they’re actions bc Tae’s actions are well bad and immature and you can still vent and rant about them on here if you want. That’s not harassment. I’ve been on here for awhile trust me it’s not harassment if you just vent about her actions or post screenshots about it. But I’ve seen people admit they’ve been borderline harassing her and like just, don’t do that? Again your welcome to be mad and your welcome to criticize or rant or vent about her. But don’t cross the line, she’s a minor and while that doesn’t excuse what she said or her actions , harassment has more of a negative impact on her then adults. You don’t have to sympathize with her because what she’s been saying is racist, you don’t have to like her, you don’t have to stop posting about her, you don’t have to stop being mad about it, but like, just be a tiny bit nicer to her? I get it I get it she’s being annoying and harmful and immature, but the situation would be a lot easier on to handle if you could calm down just a tiny bit. Besides you guys can pretty much ban her at this point, isn’t that the worse punishment you can give to her without harassing her? She deserves a ban and it won’t be crossing the line.

As for Tae, listen I know your a minor and you say stupid shit all the time. I used to be a transcum until I had a trans friend slap me over the head and tell me that’s a shitty take and to change it /hj. Which I did btw. I get it, but Tae you need to sit back and educate yourself. I know it’s hard to believe these people, probably because these thoughts are being aided by friends or family or just you don’t want to because of the amount of backlash your getting. So let me explain to you, as one minor to another, why ALM is bad and racist. ALM is a movement made to directly combat against Black Lives Matter, thus why its racist. And I know your about to think “oh but what if you separate the words from the movement” and to that I say, your still doing what the movement is trying to aim for, saying “all lives matter” even if your apart of the movement or not is still overshadowing and ignoring the fact that many POC lives are still in a state or position where many people don’t think they matter. Think of it like there’s a house on fire, saying “all lives matter” is the same as going up to the fire fighters and saying “oh all houses matter, why aren’t you taking care of the other houses” you might think your helping but in context your just making everything worse. No matter how you say that phrase now, whether it’s in connection to the movement or not, your still harming the cause of BLM. And yes, it is a big deal people are dying, I know you think “it’s a part of life” but people are losing they’re fathers, mothers, and children, all because some cop didn’t like someone’s skin color and decided that they should die for it. It’s never a okay thing to do, to take someone’s life over their skin color, something they were born with, something they can’t really control. That’s like ((as an example)) someone killing your mom because she has red hair or something. You just lost your mom because she had red hair. These deaths aren’t just “deaths” they’re impacting other people’s lives, these people who died were important to others. And they didn’t deserve having they’re lives taken away. And as for “they didn’t have it as bad in the 60’s” of course they didn’t, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have it bad here aswell, that’s like saying “oh atleast I didn’t blow up the building” after tearing down a wall, it doesn’t change the fact that you still tore down that wall. Sure it could have been worse but literally everything can be worse. It doesn’t change the face things are bad now, and need to be fixed. From the context on how you speak about the movements and how you use “they” when referring to POC im going to assume your white or atleast not POC ((correct me if I’m wrong)) which means you don’t fully understand why this is so important because you maybe ((again correct me if I’m wrong)) have never experienced what it’s like to be a POC, if that is the case then you need to step down from your high horse and realize that you can’t say something is “not as bad as _____” if you’ve never even experienced first hand. Comparing pain and suffering is only going to lead to more problems. Tae they’re is always room to change, your not a lost cause. But you need to educate yourself and realize what your saying is bad if you do want to change and be a better person. You can’t excuse your actions, you can’t undermine them, you have to own up to them in full volume and realize what you said was harmful.

I already expect backlash for this post, which is fair, again I’ve been on wac for awhile, I don’t think any of these posts here are harassing Tae ((although it would be epic if you guys can refrain from using the c word, just a personal request u don’t have to follow through )) these posts hold valid critique that I think Tae needs to listen to, even if some of them are a bit harsh. And I know the mods wouldn’t allow harassing messages to get onto this blog. But if your in like the comments or something saying “I’d rather harass her then not” like... calm down my guy, you have a right to be mad but you can also just ban her ass and get the same effect and message with it being deserved lmao.