#also since people have done this before: please don't try to convince me I was misdiagnosed

[chaos-in-one]

Most people assuming I have low amnesia because I’m openly an OSDD-1 system: Me: Literally had dissociative disorders looked into for me primarily *because* of how bad my amnesia was, like the amnesia is the main reason I ended up being diagnosed

[silverb0wties]

Lemonade - Part 1

Lemonade || leah williamson x alessia russo x child!reader

Summary: When something bad happens to your Mummy and Daddy, you end up living with your Aunty Lessi and Aunty Leah.  But is there room for you considering they have a new baby on the way?

Chapter Warnings: death, pregnancy, mentions of stillbirth, house fire, hospitals & doctors

a/n: In this universe Alessia has a fictional older sister

~ I originally posted this a while ago but took it down because I received a bunch of hate for it. A few very nice people have encouraged me to put it back up, so I will see how I go. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but if you don't like this, please just scroll by. 💜 ~

PART 1

--

You didn’t fully remember what had happened that night.

It had all started off very typical.  You’d had tea and a bath and watched a bit of telly before heading upstairs to your room for bed.  You were 7 now and a big girl, and certain you didn’t need tucking in anymore, so you gave your Mummy and Daddy kisses and cuddles before you went to brush your teeth and then snuggled under your bed covers to keep reading your current library book, Matilda. 

At some point you must have dozed off, because you woke up as your Daddy popped his head in through your door to check on you.

“You alright, Bunny?” he asked.  Your nickname had been Bunny for as long as you could remember.  You had been given a bunny stuffie named Arthur by your Nana on the day you were born, and he had been your trusty companion ever since.  Bunnies were also your favourite animal, however you weren’t allowed one as a pet because your Daddy was allergic.  Apparently that meant he came up in big bright red spots whenever he got near one.  Surely there was some kind of cream that though.

“Can I come sleep in your bed with you and Mummy?” You had made sure to use your biggest, pleading eyes to try and convince him.

“Ohh alright.  But you have to remember to be careful of Mummy’s leg, okay?”

Mummy had hurt her leg a couple of weeks before.  She had been playing netball when someone on the other team had crashed into her and she landed poorly.  You weren’t totally sure what was wrong, but you knew that it was apparently worse than whatever Aunty Leah had done to her leg.  But it was also not as bad because your Mummy wasn’t a professional at netball, she just played for fun, and you think maybe they also won some wine sometimes but you’re not 100% sure.  Anyways, she had to go to hospital and have an operation and now she was on crutches (which you weren’t allowed to play on) and you had to help around the house a bit more because it was tricky for Mummy to get around.  You didn’t mind though, you were happy to be her little helper.

As you reached your parents room (Arthur clutched tightly under your arm), you found your Mummy already in the bed, her leg propped up on a pillow under the blanket.  Before she had a chance to ask what you were doing there, you quickly rattled out “Daddy said I could come sleep with you, please please please!”

Your Mummy just laughed and patted the spot beside her on the bed.  A few moments later you and Arthur were snuggled under the covers between your Mummy and Daddy and drifting soundly back to sleep.

The next time you awoke it was to a screeching alarm, one you recognised from when Daddy had tried to bake Mummy a birthday cake but had burned it really, really badly.

“Bunny!  Sweetie, wake up!”

As you opened your eyes you realised you were surrounded by thick black smoke.  Your chest felt tight, and the smoke stung your eyes so badly you couldn’t keep them open.  Everything felt foggy and faint and you could feel yourself quickly falling back asleep.

“Just take her! Save her! Get her out!”

You heard your Mummy’s screams over the blaring of the alarm.  You would hear those screams in your nightmares for the rest of your life.

The next thing you remember was being outside your house and your neighbour Mrs Green was passing you to an ambulance man.  You had Arthur clutched in your hand by his ear as the man lay you down on a wheely bed and put a funny smelling mask over your nose and mouth.

Then you were at the hospital and there was lots of nurses and doctors scrambling around, poking and prodding you.  You had still had the mask on your face that was filling your mouth and nose with funny smelling air.  There was a big needle sticking into your arm connected to a bag on a pole that kind of hurt a bit.  But worst of all, at some point you had lost hold of Arthur, and you could see him lying sadly on a bench across the room.

“She’s awake.”

“Y/N.  Hi, my name is Doctor Smith.  We’re just looking over you to make sure you’re doing okay.  We’ll get you back to a room really soon and then you can see your family, okay?”

Your family was here!  Thank goodness.  Whatever had happened, your Mummy and Daddy were fine and you would see them real soon.

You breathed a small sigh of relief but still reached out instinctively for Arthur.  A nice nurse with dark hair and big, round glasses noticed and looked over at the bunny.

“Is he your special friend?”

You nodded frantically.

“He’s very dirty at the moment, so he’s going to need a bath before you get him back for cuddles, I think.”

You realised that his normally light purple fur was closer to a dark grey colour, but you couldn’t understand how he got so dirty.  Surely a bit of smoke doesn’t get a bunny that dirty. 

And then it hit you.

Smoke.

You’d only seen smoke come from a few things in real life before:

When your Daddy had burned that birthday cake

From the cigarettes the old ladies who sat outside the newsagents smoked

When there was lots of pretty fireworks and sparklers after Aunty Lessi and Leah won a big trophy

After you blew your birthday candles out

Smoke came from burning things.  Had Arthur been burned?

Before you could ask any questions, you were being wheeled into a room where your Nana and Aunty Lessi were.  You loved your Nana and your Aunty Lessi, you really did, but you wanted your Mummy and Daddy.  Where were your Mummy and Daddy?

“Oh Y/N, oh sweetie.  Oh, thank God you’re okay.”  Your Nana was crying as she reached for your hand and kissed your forehead.

You tuned out your Nana and the doctor’s conversation as out of the corner of your eye you spotted the nice nurse with the big, round glasses hand over Arthur, who had now been put in a plastic zippy bag, to your Aunty Lessi.  She whispered something to her you didn’t hear and Aunty Lessi nodded and put him carefully in a big sleepover bag she had with her.  You wondered why she had a sleepover bag with her here at the hospital.

“Does she know about…?” your Nana asked.

“No.  We thought it best that she heard it from family.”

You snapped back to the conversation going on over your head at these words, catching your Nana nodding as she wiped some more tears away from the corner of her eye.

“We’ll leave you be to have some privacy.  One of the nurses will be back in a while to check on her, but of course, don’t hesitate to press the buzzer if you need anything.”

As all the hospital staff left, your Aunty Lessi came around to the other side of the bed and gave you a hug as best as she could, trying not to bump your mask or the big needle in your arm.

“Nan-” you attempted to talk, but the smelly mask on your face was making your words sound all mumbly jumbly.  You also noticed that it hurt a bit in your chest and throat when you tried to speak, your hand automatically coming up to rest on your neck.

“It’s okay sweetheart, you don’t need to speak.  You just rest, okay?” your Nana told you.

You nodded, aware that there was something going on.  Something definitely wasn’t right.  Your eyes flicked between the two women, noticing that their eyes were red and puffy as though they’d been doing lots of crying. 

After a long, awkward silence that seemed to stretch on forever and ever, your Aunty Lessi finally started to speak. 

“Bunny, sweetie, there was a fire at your house.  We don’t know how or where it started, but there was a very bad fire, and it looks like it has destroyed the whole house.”

Your eyes widened as you began to put it all together – the smoke, the alarm, your Mummy screaming…

“Sweetheart, your Mummy and Daddy didn’t make it out.  We don’t know a whole lot yet, but we know that your Daddy ran out of the house with you and gave you to a neighbour.  You were very poorly and not breathing very well, and that’s why you’ve got to wear this mask to help you breathe.  He went back into the house, we can only assume to try and help your Mummy because she can’t… umm couldn’t move around too well because of her leg.  But they never made it out of the house.”

You didn’t really understand.  What did she mean they never made it out of the house?  Where did they go?  Where are they now?

“Bunny, do you understand what I’m saying?” your Aunty Lessi asked.

You shook your head furiously.  You just wanted to see your Mummy and Daddy.  Why weren’t they here?  Were they hurt?  Were they also lying in beds somewhere with masks on their faces and needles in their arms?

Your Nana stood up from her chair and sat down softly on the bed beside you.  She stroked her hand over your face a few times before cupping your cheek gently in her hands.

“I’m so sorry, Bun… Your Mummy and Daddy, they… oh Less, I can’t.  I can’t say it…”

Your Nana pulled away from you, burying her head in her hands as she stood up and turned away slightly.

“It’s okay, Mum.  I’ve… I’ve got it.”

Your Aunty Lessi swopped in and scooped your face gently into her hands, running her thumbs soothingly over your cheeks as you looked at her with confusion.

“Bunny sweetie, your Mummy and Daddy… d-died.”

You think your Aunty Lessi kept talking but her words just faded into background noise as you tuned out everything around you.  You were there, but not really.  Your body was, but your brain was just running over the words “Mummy and Daddy died” over and over and over and over until they lost all meaning.

Mummy died.

Daddy died.

Mummy and Daddy died.

You felt sad, but mostly you just felt kind of… nothing.  It felt almost like the sadness was a balloon that grew too big, too fast and it had popped and now all you were left with was nothing.

In the movies and in your books when people died, their family cried lots and lots.  Your Nana was crying, and it seemed like your Aunty had been crying.  But you didn’t feel like crying.  You did really, really feel like rubbing the soft fur of Arthurs ear across your cheek over and over and over though.

--

You had stayed in the hospital for a few nights before they let you go home. 

Well, not really home.

But your new home.

You were going to live with your Aunty Lessi and Aunty Leah.  Your Aunty Lessi was your Mummy’s sister and Aunty Leah was her wife.  They both played football for their jobs and travelled a lot.  Before… well, before, you would go and visit them, or they would come visit and you would tell them all about the books you’d been reading and what you’d been learning in school and show them all the different breeds of rabbits there were in the big scrap book you’d been putting together.  That scrapbook was gone now though.  You weren’t sure if you would start making a new one.

Your Aunty Lessi had the most beautiful smile, and she always seemed to be able to make everyone laugh and be happy.  And your Aunty Leah was always a really good listener, and she gave the most excellent hugs.  Sometimes you would go and watch them play football, but you weren’t really interested in sports.  It was always too loud and there was way too many people there.  But it was always exciting when your Aunty Lessi would score a goal though, because if she knew you were in the crowd, she would point in your direction and make a heart with her hands.

You liked your Aunties. You loved them.  But you’d never spent the night at their house or had a sleepover with them.  You didn’t know any of the rules, and you didn’t have your Mummy to remind you of them before you went.  You wanted to be on your bestest behaviour, having read far too many stories and seen too many television shows about children whose parents died and then their new families treated them poorly.  You didn’t think you’d do very well in an orphanage or living on the streets.  You weren’t very tough like those kids were.

You’re not quite sure what to think of your new room at your Aunty Lessi and Leah’s house.  It’s very… adult.  A bit boring to be honest.  Just a big adult bed, a dresser and two bedside tables.  There is a big window however that overlooks the back garden that you quite like.  But you’re just grateful for somewhere to sleep really, thankful that your Aunties are letting you stay here at all.  You’d happily sleep on the loungeroom floor. 

“We will pretty it up and get you lots of new toys and decorate it however you want, Bun.”  Your Aunty Lessi was stroking your hair as you cuddled into her side.  “This is just temporary until your new bed and furniture arrives and we get you all settled in, okay?”

You nodded gently, not really knowing how else to respond.  You were a bit shocked that they’d ordered you a new bed and were going to get you new toys.

“We did get you a few things to start you off with, just until we can all get down to the shops together to pick out some stuff.  I hope they’re okay…” Your Aunty Leah gestured towards the corner where you could see a few boxes and some brightly coloured stuffies peeking out through the handles of some shopping bags.  You looked up at her and blinked, unsure as to whether you were meant to thank her or go and inspect the items or what.

“We can go through that stuff later if you like?” Aunty Lessi suggested, squeezing your shoulder.  “How about we grab something to eat for lunch?”

Just as you were turning to leave the room, a tuft of light purple fluff caught your eye among the bags.

"Is that Arthur?" you asked.

"Oh, your bunny? Yes, Aunty Leah gave him a really good bath and got him all clean again."

You dashed forward and grabbed him from the pile of other toys and clothing, bringing him up to your face to rub his soft ears over your cheeks.

You wanted to say thank you, but those words didn't seem big enough. Instead, you hoped that someday, somehow you would be able to somewhat show your Aunties how much you appreciated them.

With Arthur now tucked under your arm, the three of you made your way down the hall towards the stairs.

“Oh, and remember that is mine and Aunty Lessi’s room,” Aunty Leah gestured towards a door on the right of the hall, pushing it open with her foot.  “If you ever need anything during the night, please don’t hesitate to come and get us.  I’m up and down all throughout the night going to the loo anyways because of this one,” she smirked as she rubbed her growing belly.

“Does it hurt? Growing a baby?”

You don’t really know why you asked.  You were curious, sure.  Your own tummy hurt a bit when you ate too much food, so surely having a baby in there hurt lots.  But now definitely wasn’t the time to ask that kind of question.  

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  

However your Aunty Leah just chuckled and nodded at you.  “It doesn’t exactly hurt, but it is rather uncomfortable at times, especially if the baby moves into an awkward position or kicks a weird spot.”

“The baby kicks you?” you asked.

“Oh yeah!  They’re gonna be a striker just like your Aunty Less, I’m sure of it!”

Aunty Lessi nudged you and pointed at your hand.  “You might actually be able to feel the baby move some time, Bunny”

“Really? Could I?”

Your Aunty Leah’s smile was a big and bright as you’d ever seen it.  “They’re moving around now.  Do you want to try and feel?”

You nodded excitedly.  You had always wanted a baby brother or sister.  Your Mummy and Daddy had told you once that there was one on the way, but then a while later when they’d gone to the hospital, they came home really sad and said that baby brother was born sleeping. 

You had only just turned 4 when that happened, and you didn’t understand why they didn’t just wake him up.  But Daddy explained that that is what people sometimes say when the baby isn’t born alive.

Mummy had been sad for what seemed like years after that.  She spent a lot of time in bed, and she cried more than you’d ever seen her cry before in your life.  You’d tried to cheer her up by drawing her pictures and singing her songs and giving her your biggest, bestest cuddles.  But Daddy said the only thing that would make Mummy better was time. 

He was right.  She had slowly returned to her normal self.  You were very grateful, because you had missed the little things like the silly songs she would sing when she would wash your hair, and the smiley faces she would make out of blueberries in your pancakes.

As your Aunty Leah gently cradled your hand and brought it up to her swollen tummy, you felt a small whooshing movement under your little hand.

“Did you feel that?”

You nodded quickly, your gaze meeting your Aunty Leah’s as she smiled tenderly at you.  You couldn’t believe you could feel the baby moving in her tummy.  It all started to feel very real.

“They’re moving around quite a bit tonight.  I think they’re quite excited to have you here with us, Bun.”

“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?” you asked.

“No, we decided to wait until the baby is born to find out and let it be a surprise.  We really don’t mind what their gender is, we’re just excited for them to be here and to meet them.  Oh, there they go again, did you feel that kick?”

You nodded again, pulling your hand away from your Aunty Leah’s tummy as a sinking feeling began settling in your own.

You knew you weren’t a part of your Aunties plan.  They were having a baby, and becoming Mums, which you were sure was something new and super exciting for them.  But now they also had you to look after as well, which they weren’t expecting and had probably changed so many things for them.  Surely, surely they would be much happier without you here ruining their perfect new little family? 

[hells-wasabii]

Hey!! I had an Adam request for Hazbin Hotel. If possible, could it be a mixture of headcanon and drabble? If not, just drabble, please!!

So imagine if Adam had escaped before being killed by Nifty, and is still incredibly hurt. The angels had left, thinking he had died, leaving him behind. Then demon reader finds him bleeding out, and despite knowing who he is and what he's done to their kind, they still help him and let him stay at their apartment to heal properly, and hopefully tries to change his mind on Hell and other demons.

Gn reader would be great, if you could please! - 🍋

Howdy hey! I'm really glad you asked for a half and half, I don't think i'd be able to delve into this request proper. Also, adam is seriously growing on me. I got to work on my requests today later than i would've liked though, so I'll try to make up for lost time

Character: Adam

Type: Headcanons+Drabble (injured!Adam x sinner!reader, Angst, Fluff)

Adam, despite what you might think, fully understands the severity of the situation. He knows that he's royally fucked, especially if he happens across the wrong demon. He also knows that heaven’s not coming for him. The fact that what was left of his army had retreated was testament enough that they believed him to be dead.

Yeah, he might’ve escaped with his life but he wasn’t out of the woods yet. Could you imagine what could happen if he ran into somebody with a grudge against him specifically? It wasn't like he was subtle about his identity at the moment, covered in golden blood, oh, and of course, the wings were a dead giveaway. 

So when the very first man collapsed in some dirty alley way he thought he was done for. That was where he met you. You were an anomaly to Adam. Why would you, a sinner, help him of all people? He figured that you just didn’t know who he was as you took him back to your home to help him heal. That assumption didn’t last long, though, you called him by his name so you definitely knew who he was.

When you’re helping him heal, offering up your apartment as a place for him to recuperate, he’s gonna be bitching about it the whole time. You knew who he was, so now there was no way he’d let you forget he was the first man and how absurd it was that he was left like this. He’d complain about any little thing too, he’s used to a life of comfort, used to getting what he wants when he wants it. And you’d best believe you’re going to hear about how he hasn’t gotten laid since getting stuck down in hell.

Adam couldn’t believe it as he stared at the calendar hung on the wall of your dingy apartment. Despite all the slack he’s given you, the first man had long since decided that maybe you weren’t so bad for some loser sinner. The last of his wounds were healed now, something he had you to thank for. Bones were set properly, and he’d even been able to stave off infections under your care.

The angel was grateful. He really was. And as uncommon as it was, he wanted to show you just how grateful he was. You had gone off somewhere, work you said, but he wasn’t sure what you did for work now that he thought about it. You had probably mentioned it early on in his stay, but at that point, he didn’t really listen to much of what you said.

So, he decided to make you something to eat, you should be back in an hour anyway.

Simple enough, right? There was some pasta in the cupboards, he’d start with that.

Oh, you were gonna be so impressed! After all, you were going to eat a meal prepared by the first man here! This surprise totally-not-a-date-even-though-he-maybe-wanted-it-to-be dinner was going to rock!

...

In his defense, he had been left alone. You were pretty lucky to have gotten home when you did, or you were sure your kitchen would've been burnt down. You sighed, turning to the angel who was making a rather convincing impression of a kicked puppy. Instead of scolding him, you offer a small smile. "Why don't we just get takeout?"

[luvvyouforever]

matchmaker, matchmaker - azriel x reader

↳ mor drags azriel to velaris's resident matchmaker, only for him to fall for her instead of his potential suitors.

↳ no major warnings apply! just some fluff and cuteness. not grammar or spell checked. sorry hehe

↳ requests are open! check bio.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

azriel and mor sat at a cafe table in the heart of velaris, steam rising from the tea cups in front of each of them. this was not an uncommon occurence by any means and the pair frequented the many shops and restaurants throughout the town. however, this time, there was an air of tension between them which caused their waitress to carefully place their drinks away from the edges of the table.

"you're telling me you won't even consider seeing her? do you know all that she's done for velaris, az?"

"she's just high fae, mor. she's not some prophecy teller that can see mating bonds between people. i don't understand what she could even do for me."

ah, yes. the topic of conversation was azriel's love life and mor was desperately trying to convince the spymaster to see her friend, the matchmaker of velaris.

what azriel was saying was true. she did not have some special power that allowed her to see the invisible string connecting mates. she could not look into her mind and pull out the best partner for someone. she just knew how to read people and how to do it well. she was responsible for a lot of the matches in velaris, even predicting nesta and cassian long before anyone else could.

"you're lonely, azriel. i can tell! you want to dance with someone at rita's and have a date to parties just as bad as anyone else. you just won't admit it," mor declared. her voice softened and she continued, "i want what's best for you, az. we all do. will you see her for me? please? even if nothing works out."

azriel sighed and took a drink of his tea which was still too hot for his mouth. damn mor and her awareness of the people in her life. and damn him for the way he'd give in to her so easily. "fine," he mumbled. "i will try. but no promises."

that next week, azriel came back from a trip to the mortal lands and immediately, mor was at the door to his room, badgering him about the meeting she set up for later that day. she declared that he could not reschedule or miss the meeting and that he should dress in something nice.

begrudgingly, azriel took a long bath to make sure he looked and smelled fine enough to get a potentially good match from mor's friend. he chose more "normal" clothing as instructed by mor and flew down to the bright townhouse fast enough to reach the door just as his appointment was set to begin.

she surely sensed him because before he even got the chance to knock, she threw the door open and greeted him.

"azriel, right? spymaster of the high lord's court," she said sweetly. "i am quite honored to have you in my home."

azriel felt too awkward for his own good and just nodded with as polite of a smile as he could muster.

"come on! come on!" she ushered him into her home which was brightly decorated in all sorts of eclectic decor, a lot of it being hearts and other love motifs. "can i get you anything?" she asked. "water? tea? snacks? wine?"

"no...no. i'm good, thanks," he said, quieter than he meant to. his eyes raked over the matchmaker, finding her to be a lot younger and more spry than he imagined. mor spoke so highly of her that he thought she must be ancient, having made matches for velaris since the dawn of time. she was also quite beautiful and the way she spoke caused some odd feelings in azriel's chest that he didn't like. his shadows noticed his attraction to her too as they whipped around his chest before hiding behind him, sometimes whispering things in his ear.

"suit yourself," she joked. she sat down on a large armchair and gestured to the matching one in front of her. azriel obediently sat down and watched her moves. she pulled out a frilly notebook from a drawer along with a pen. "has mor told you anything about what i do?"

"not really," azriel admitted. "just praises your name and forces her friends to come to her." the matchmaker laughed and azriel felt incredibly proud of himself for making her laugh.

"well, i just want to know a couple things about you. nothing crazy. just your inner thoughts and desires. and i take that information and compare it to other people and see what comes from it! simple, easy, and usually pain free but i have a feeling you may be a little more introverted than most." azriel shrugged in response. "so, my first question is what are your must-haves in a relationship?"

azriel fiddled with the hem of his shirt as he thought about the question. nobody had ever asked him that before and he honestly hadn't even thought about it. "um...someone who's nice. understanding, i guess. i have a lot of responsibilities in my job so someone who doesn't mind that i'm gone a lot," he thought for a second more. "what do people usually say?"

the matchmaker thought for a moment. "well, i would say my must-haves are patience, kindness...someone who's fine with staying inside," she paused and smiled, "definitely has to own some kind of awesome ancient sword or blade that i can play with."

azriel clocked her statement as a joke but some part of him, deep down inside, wishes that he had truth-teller displayed on his chest for her to see. he was patient, he was a homebody, he was...relatively kind. oh god...what was he thinking?

"all jokes, of course. but really, it's just anything you want in a partner. maybe you want them to be strong and abrasive and can hold their own. it's all up to you, azriel."

she moved on to the next question, which he was very grateful for. this one, however, was harder than the last. "what are you looking for here? do you want me to hunt down your potential mate? do you want something fun and casual? committed? i can do it all."

azriel felt like she was stripping back his layers, one by painful one. all to find someone he can kiss. this was crazy! and he didn't even know her name. "i don't really know, honestly. i...i guess my mate but that seems hard considering it could be anyone. i don't really desire anything. mor just made me come here."

she leaned forward and her big eyes seemed to look into his heart. "i know that's not true, azriel. everyone wants something. you have this...look in your eye that tells me you really want this to work out, that you want to believe in this. you just have to be open with me, 'kay?"

azriel let out a breathy chuckle. "how can i open when i don't even know your name or anything else about you?"

she thought for a second before nodding in agreement. she laid the notebook down on the side table and leaned back. "fair, i guess. my name is y/n, i have lived in velaris all my life, i enjoy pastries, reading, and tea, i started matchmaking as a silly way to keep my friends and i entertained until it started working too much to be a coincidence. i spend all my time finding love for other people but haven't found the one for me. ironic, isn't it?" she smiled at azriel. "there. does that make you feel a bit better?" he nodded. "good. now, let me repeat my question."

azriel and y/n continued their conversation, knocking out the questions she had prepared with relative ease. he felt comfortable opening up to her and being honest about his desires for love. he was completely unused to expressing his feelings like that but it came to him easily in her presence. the way she easily leaned in, eyes focused and gaze unwavering...it did something to him.

eventually, though, the questions ended and azriel knew he had to leave her home. he stalled on the last question, having her reword it over and over even though all she had asked was what his habits at home were like.

"well, azriel, thank you for answering all my questions. from here, i will start comparing your answers to other people i've met with and i will reach out to you with your first match up. you'll tell me if you're interested and if you aren't, we'll move on to the next!"

azriel panicked internally at her words which clearly signaled the end of their conversation. he rose at the same time as her but subconsciously placed his body in front of hers so that she'd have to step around him to leave the room. "so, do i come see you again at all? or...or is this it?" he cursed himself for sounding so awkward.

she laughed. "you can if that is what you prefer. if you want to talk about your dates and how they went then i don't care to. did you enjoy this a little more than you anticipated?" she joked.

he nodded and scratched the back of his neck. crap...crap, crap! he had to do something, right? she was single, she said so. but is it wrong to ask the matchmaker on a date? after she poured so much work into finding him a match? he thought for a second, eyes trained on her. in his ears, his shadows whispered encouragingly. this is it...come on!

"is everything okay, azriel?" she asked innocently.

"so i know that this whole thing was to find me a match but i actually really enjoy your time and i think you're beautiful so would you want to go on a date with me instead of sending me on dates with people that i couldn't care less about?" his words came out at lightning speed and he was pleasantly surprised that she understood everything.

a blush came to her cheeks and it matched the pink and red hearts around the room. "seriously?" she asked. he shyly nodded. "i'd love to. tomorrow night? you come by?"

he breathed out a sigh of relief. "yes, tomorrow night. thank you."

the two of them made their way to the door.

"so, no matches at all? not even helga down the street in the butcher shop? she's been looking for someone for yearssss," she said in a sing-song voice.

"cauldron, no. i want you." he was shocked at the confidence that leaked through his words. she blushed again and rose on her toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

"i'll see you tomorrow. tell mor that my services worked, if you'd be so kind." azriel flew off then with no intentions of telling mor anything that happened.

[avianyuh]

Boring | Min Yoongi

{Chapter One} {Chapter Two} {Chapter Three} {Chapter Four} {Chapter Five} Chapter Six

Summary: You decide it's time for your friends to officially sit down and meet Yoongi out of the office. However, things don't go as planned and it's not for the reasons you'd normally suspect.

After that lunch with your friends two months ago, things had remained the same at work. You hadn’t moved in with Yoongi yet, so Mondays through Thursdays, you slept at your own apartment. Fridays and weekends you spent with Yoongi at his place since you didn’t have to come up with some elaborate plan to sneak into work together without making people at the office suspicious. You hadn’t worked on any other projects with Yoongi for the fear of your relationship being outed and your work being diminished as a ‘task’ the boss had given to his girlfriend.

But unlike work, your actual relationship has done nothing but change over the last five months of your relationship. You weren’t living together, but the suggestion of it was brought up to you at least once a week. Out at dinner? “You know Y/N, if we loved together this could be our designated takeout place…” Watching a movie? “What if we repainted the bedroom to be that shade of green like they have in the movie? Moving in would be a great excuse to remodel…” And of course, trying to leave Yoongi’s apartment on Sunday night. “I can’t stand not seeing you here for four days. I hate this.” He’d whine, holding you close as your bodies stood in the entryway to his apartment. Yoongi had gradually gone from a closed off, quiet man into an energetic, passionate and honest partner. He was everything you needed in your life. He said the right things, he made you feel special. He was starting to really convince you that maybe moving in would be a good idea. After all, having to split your clothes into two dresses was starting to take its tole on you. The other night, the temperature plummeted outside and you were freezing. So, you started rummaging through dresser drawers, looking for your favorite hoodie. After ten minutes of tearing your room apart, you realized that your warm, cozy hoodie was in fact, folded neatly in your boyfriends dresser fifteen minutes away. And it was only a Tuesday, so you, your hoodie and your boyfriend had two more days to go before you could all be properly reunited.

You had also finally gotten around to getting Yoongi, Gina and Hana in the same room outside of work. You had pleaded with Yoongi for over a week. “But I can tell they don’t like me, baby it’s a waste of time.” Yoongi groaned as he watched you from the couch search through the cabinets in the kitchen. You sighed as you darted your eyes around the inner workings of the cabinet, looking for something to snack on since your dinner reservation wasn’t for another few hours.

“Yoongi come on, they don’t hate you at all. You’re still hung up on that one time Gina got mad at you because she thought you were overworking me. Which, as we all know, was not the case and she gets that now. They’re always asking about you and when exactly I can get everyone informally introduced. Please, please, please say yes!” You begged as you snatched some crackers off a shelf and headed back towards Yoongi on the couch. He silently stared at you, shaking his head in disapproval. Then he let out a deep, dramatic sigh. Your lips curled into a smile, already knowing his response. Over the course of your relationship, you’ve learned a lot of about your boyfriend. What you’ve really enjoyed learning about are those little habits about him that no one else would really pick up on but you. This particular habit was your favorite. When you were winning your case against Yoongi, when he was about to admit defat and cave to your demands, he always let out a really long, dramatic sigh before finally agreeing. And just as you suspected, you had again just won your case.

“Fine, call them and set something up whenever they’re free. We can go out or we can host them here or at your place if you want.” Yoongi murmured as he flipped through the channels on TV. You clapped your hands excitedly as you climbed on top of him, decorating his face with kisses. You could see out of the corner of your eye that he was trying to conceal his smile.

So that next weekend, you decided to host your friends over to your apartment. You thought that it would be best to have them over to your apartment, since it’s well, not a rich CEO’s residence, which would have completely shocked them. Your apartment was pretty small, only had one bathroom that had almost no room to move around in, the kitchen had no storage, no counter space, and your bedroom had no windows. Overall, your apartment was the furthest thing from flashy and since you really wanted everyone to solely focus on getting to know each other, you thought you had picked the best location for that to happen since they wouldn’t be able to get sidetracked by Yoongi’s huge apartment.

Yoongi was tucked away in the kitchen, chopping something for a dish you were making as you walked towards the door after hearing the buzzer go off. It’s Gina, called the intercom. “Okay, remember Yoongi, Gina is really sarcastic, so remember to not take anything too literally or personally. She likes to get under people's skin.” You explained to him, praying in your head that everything goes well. Yoongi massaged his temples in frustration. He had been tense since the minute you woke up and you found it heartwarming that he was so nervous to meet your friends. But to be completely honest, you were also nervous deep down. Not so much with your friend Hana, but with Gina. Though you had told your friends two months ago about your relationship and they had seemed supportive, you had left out a tiny detail. After a night in with Gina at her apartment, and after knocking back quite a few drinks as you watched reruns of some show from twenty years ago, Gina had a drunk words, sober thoughts moment.

“Y/N, I really hope you realize how much of a douche your boyfriend is. I just saw him yelling at Mark from accounting the other day in the middle of the hallway. Like, he was really mad. People were looking and everything. I just don’t think someone that can get so aggressive is the right guy for you…Plus, Yoongi and his secretary are way too friendly. everything he says, she's always giggling like an idiot. ” Though you yourself could fall into the category of drunk, you were sober enough to remember what she said, especially the part about the secretary. To be clear, you always knew Yoongi’s secretary didn’t like you. And you were also aware of the fact that there was a good chance the secretary knew that Yoongi and you were dating, mainly because Yoongi was constantly ‘calling you in’ to his office, yet you never worked on anything with him. And you were always conveniently 'summoned' right before lunch started. Every time you’d walk past her desk to get to Yoongi’s office, you could almost feel her eyes burning into the back of your head. But at the end of the day, Yoongi was your boyfriend and not hers and you were secretly happy knowing someone knew of your relationship because deep down, all you wanted to do was be able to interact with Yoongi publicly without the paranoia that came along with seeing him at work.

You were taken out of your thoughts when you a knock at the door. You ran to swing it open and there stood your best friend. You both yelled excitedly as you hugged Gina tightly. You tried to navigate your way around the box of cookies in her hands that she had brought as a gift. “Come in!” You exclaimed as you pulled her inside. “Where’s Hana?” you asked as you took her box of cookies and her coat from her.

“Oh, you didn’t see the messages in the group chat? She’s stuck in traffic. You know…I told her she should’ve moved to the city when she had the chance. Now she’s so far away from everything and it takes forever to get here.” Gina explained as she closed the door and took off her shoes.

“Ugh, well I’ll try to not eat too much until she gets here, I don’t want her to feel left out.” You said as you walked towards the kitchen, Gina following close behind.

“Hi Gina.” Yoongi greeted her awkwardly as he motioned his head back down, going back to chopping vegetables.

“Hey Yoongi, thanks for making time for something like this.” Gina complimented him. “I know you’re busy…” You nudged Gina with your elbow, giving her a look that screamed behave yourself, as you started to set up the table before Hana arrived.

“Yoongi actually canceled something to do this.” You nonchalantly lied as you spread out the cookies Gina brought on a plate. You could see from the corner of your eye that Yoongi was giving you a confused look, which you couldn’t blame him for. You weren’t sure why Gina was so seemingly against your relationship. You knew she was coming from a good place, but you were really happy with Yoongi and you wanted her to see that he was just as serious about you as you were for him.

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Gina teased as she cracked a smile. Perfect, you thought to yourself. By the time Hana got to your apartment, the food was ready and everyone was sitting at the table. Yoongi went around refilling everyone's wine glasses, and Hana gave you a subtle look of approval upon him filling up her glass. It was going really well. He was asking them questions, getting to know them and even making them laugh. “Wait a minute…Yoongi, you paint!” Hana exclaimed as Yoongi shyly nodded.

“Oh you should see some of his paintings, I thought he bought them from a gallery, they look really professional.” You said, squeezing Yoongi’s shoulder. “I actually have one here.” You stood up from your seat, running to hallway to get the painting.

“When’d you get into painting?” Gina asked curiously, taking a sip of her wine. Yoongi relaxed in his seat, squinting his eyes, seemingly thinking back to something.

“I think High School…I took a few art classes and really enjoyed them. I would’ve studied art in college but my parents would’ve been angry.” Both of your friends nodded understandingly as you reentered the room.

“Here it is!” You held up the dark colored canvas. It was a painting of a night sky, one Yoongi had painted while staying over at your apartment. He sat in front of the window for hours. He had been jumpy all day because he had a meeting the next morning, so he decided to paint to take his mind off of his schedule. That was when you learned that he had a creative side to himself. Your friends stood up, getting a closer look at the painting. You could hear a lot of wows and ooo’s as you peered past them, back at your boyfriend. You gave him a wink and he smiled at you.

When your friends settled back down, you could tell that the atmosphere had changed. From earlier in the day where things were quite tense with Gina, to the tipsy laughter of the midafternoon, to now, where it seemed like everyone was truly comfortable. “Okay Yoongi I just have to say, I apologize for doubting you.” Gina blurted out. You looked over at her, confused by the sudden outburst. “I’ve seen how happy you’ve made Y/N over the past few months, but I thought it seemed too good to be true. Plus, she kept the fact that she was seeing you from us for three months and I thought that was a bad sign…But, now I get it. It is a tricky situation considering where we all work.” Hana took a sip of her wine, humming in agreement with Gina.

“I just have to ask though, what really would happen if anyone found out? I mean, you are the CEO, you can’t get fired right?”Hana spoke up, a concerned look on her face.

“No. That wouldn't happen. I’m actually in the middle of negotiating a deal, one where I would be promoted. I’d be overseeing multiple offices if we buy out these other companies. I wouldn’t be at the regular office as much, so I’m thinking our relationship wouldn’t be of much concern since I wouldn’t be at the office as much.” Yoongi explained. You listened closely, because this was all new information to you. However, you stayed silent, not wanting your friends to find out that you had no idea about any of this. “We’re keeping it really quiet right now, no one really knows.”

“Well, that’s great! I hope it all works out.” Gina cheered as she raised her glass to make a toast, she gave you warm smile, before noticing the hesitation behind your expression to return it. You ignored the confusing look from Gina and followed suit, clinking your glass with everyone else’s, but deep down, you were a bit angry with your boyfriend. How could he keep you in the dark on something as big as this.

After a few more hours, you said your goodbyes to your friends and closed the door. You turned around to find Yoongi standing behind you. “It went great right? I think I impressed them.” Yoongi said proudly as he tried to pull you into his embrace.

“Yep, great.” You responded sarcastically as you pushed past him, starting the process of cleaning up the mess from dinner. Yoongi followed behind you, asking what was wrong.

“What happened? Everything went really well…unless I missed something?” He questioned. You let out a frustrated sigh as you placed the dishes in the sink.

“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened. You’re working on buying out other companies, something that could potentially take you to other cities and you just neglected to tell me. And you’ve been working on this for a while? This wasn’t even something that just happened. My friends found out before I did. Do you know how embarrassing it was to have to sit there and pray that you didn’t blurt out that I had no idea about this?” You yelled as you watched him pinch the bridge of his nose, formulating his response.

“I thought it would have been a nice surprise.” Yoongi murmured as he looked at you.

“Well it wasn’t. It makes me think that you have no trust in me. LIke you couldn’t trust me with important information.” You explained to him as you turned on the faucet, starting to scrub the plates.

“So what now? Are you mad at me? Y/N I’m sorry, it’s just been hectic with all the talks of these mergers, I really didn’t think it through.” To that, you didn’t even respond. You weren’t sure why this got you so mad. After all, other than that slip up, the day went well and technically the ultimate goal was to get your friends to bond with your boyfriend. “I don’t care if you stay or leave, I’m just angry that you didn’t at least give me a heads up.” Is all you said as he leaned against the counter.

He did end up staying over that night and by the next morning, you decided to just not bring it up again, but you couldn’t help the doubts that started to reappear in the back of your mind. You wondered if his secretary knew about the mergers. You thought about whether he'd need to move for work. If he would start to travel even more often than he already did. But most importantly you wondered if your relationship was as secure as you had previously thought it was. Does he not trust me?

[theundercoversquid]

A Conversation on Children

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x F!Reader

Request: Hey there my fav squid ever :) I've been reading a lot of baby imagines everywhere and tbh I'm having trouble getting into them since I've decided that I do not want to be a mom (not judging anyone tho).

Would you please write something like the reader talking to Pierre about not wanting to have kids and them having a really meaningful conversation about it?? it would mean the absolute world to me <3

A/N: For a start I am so, so sorry this took so long for me to get around to writing! But better late than never, I hope...

Also, I totally get not wanting to have children. Not everyone wants them, and that is perfectly okay (I still don't know if I would want to have kids, hence why the series is nicely cathartic)

I just hope I have done the subject justice!

Warnings: Talk of children and not wanting children

Masterlist

Your hands were shaking uncontrollably as you gripped them in your lap. You stared at their trembling, unable to look at the man seated across from you.

"What is it you want to talk about, mon amour," Pierre questioned.

"It's that well," you started before trailing off and trying again." I just wanted to talk to you about." But again, you trailed off.

"What's going on, mon amour," Pierre questioned again. "You are really starting to scare me."

"Children," you suddenly blurted out, Causing Pierre to look at you funny. His head cocked to the side like a confused puppy. "I don't want to have children." You clarified. "I don't want to be a mum."

But once you had started to talk, you couldn't seem to stop yourself.

"I don't like the idea of having children and having to raise children. Especially not in the world we are currently living in. And no, this is not something I am willing to change my mind on. I don't want to have children. Not now. Not ever." You told Pierre. Still not looking at him in the face. "And I totally understand that if you want to have children that this relationship is not going to work out. But as much as I love you, I am not willing to stay with you if this is something that you don't agree with. If you want children, I am not going to hold you back from having them. But equally, you can't stay with me if you think that you will be able to convince me to have children."

"Oh, Merci Dieu." Pierre murmed under his bretah. Causing you to finally turn to look at him.

"Mon amour." Pierre softly called, holding his hand out for you. Gently inviting you to take his hand. When you did, he softly squeezed it. Giving you a reassuring look

"I don't want to have children either," Pierre admitted. "I have been worrying about when the best time was to tell you, and instead, you have stolen the words right out of my mouth."

Surprised you didn't quite know what to say.

"I know it may come as a surprise. But I truly don't want kids. Not just between my job and the state of the world. I agree with you, I don't want to have kids and I don't want to be a father."

"Really?" You questioned why you had seen Pierre with his nieces and nephews and were surprised to hear that.

"Really," Pierre nodded. "I love being the fun uncle, don't get me wrong. But I don't want to have to have my own kids. I think some people are built to be parents, and some are not, and that is okay."

"So the two of us aren't built to be parents?" You questioned.

"From what you have said, yes. The two of us are not meant to be parents, and that is okay. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean that you have to have kids. I will never, ever think less of you for it; if anything, I am relieved." Pierre admitted.

"Oh, you don't know how relieved I am." You sighed, relieved, causing your hands to stop shaking and for your shoulders to relax. "So many people have tried to tell me that I am wrong, that when I grow up and find the right man, I will want to have children. But I know that is not true. I have found the right man for me and still don't want to have children."

"I don't have the same expectations on me as you do," Pierre admitted. But just now, I am on the same page as you, and will never ask you or pressure you to have kids. As I don't want them just as much as you."

"Oh, I am so relieved", You breathed, letting out a breath before you lunged forward. Grabbing Pierre by the collar and pulling him in for a kiss.

When you let him go, Piere sat down with a dreamy sigh. "God, I love you," he murmured, causing you to laugh.

Translations:

Merci Dieu = Thank God

[river13245]

Witchcraft and adoration

Navigation / SPN Masterlist

Rowena x Male Reader

"we are going to have to call her Dean" Sam says as he's looking through all the books they currently had to try to help their current situation in any way they could.

Dean glares at him from across the table in the main room and shakes his head. "No absolutely not"

Sam just shakes his head at his brothers stubbornness and goes back to reading the book he was currently on. But even after hours of doing research his own eyes had started to hurt so he decided to take a break. "I'm not getting anything. There's nothing we might have to Dean. I know we don't trust her but its not the worst idea we have ever done"

The oldest brother sighs and stands up grabbing himself a drink. "Damnit. You know she's just going to come here and cause trouble right? Remember what happened last time she was around us?"

Both the brothers recall exactly what had happened last time Rowena was around the four of you. Rowena had been giving you looks from across the room and eventually that turned into you coming over and flirting with her. Having no shame in your game what so ever.

You were one of their best friends growing up as you were also raised in the hunting business. This resulted in you guys being around each other a lot but also away so as the years went on Dean had taught you how to flirt and pick of women or men. While you and Sam had flirted a lot throughout the years he fell in love with Jess and nothing ever happened between the two of you which the both of you were fine with you two were close friends.

However they both had grown protective over you and so seeing you flirting with the enemy was a BIG no for them. "Okay so maybe we just keep them two separate from each other" Dean says and Sam nods.

Its to late though because you had heard the last sentence as you walked downstairs. You were about to pick up some groceries when you overheard them talking. "Who are you keeping separate from each other?"

Dean takes a drink out of his glass leaving it up to his brother to take over. "We are having a few people come by to help us with this case since none of us have been able to figure anything to solve it and two of them don't like each other"

Now did you believe what Sam was saying. No. His voice was coming off very matter of fact and when he is speaking truth he doesn't have to seem so convincing. However you choose to ignore it and just nod. "Okay well you two have fun with these friends of yours. I'm going to the store anything you guys want while I'm there?"

You grab a jacket of yours and put it on since its been cold recently with the Christmas weather around the corner. Before you walk out the door you hear the both of them yell out what they want. "Pie, Fruits and vegetables"

"okay if I'm not back after an hour I'm dead" They both glare at you when you say that causing you to laugh and walk out.

As soon as they hear your car start and pull out the drive way is when Sam pulls out his phone. "I cant believe we are actually asking her for help" Dean grumbles like a child and Sam rolls his eyes as he presses the contact and it rings.

"hello boys" Rowena's voice comes through the speaker. "screw something up already?" She teased but was completely serious. Which resulted in Dean speaking "No we haven't. But Sam here thinks we need your help"

Dean not having much manners doesn't hide the fact he is unhappy with this arrangement. So Sam speaks "Rowena we need your help. Will you help us we cant find anything in the books or we wouldn't have called"

There is silence through the other end for a moment before she speaks. "well I hate to be one of these people but what's in it for me?"

The brothers look at each other for a moment "world peace should be good enough of a reward"

She laughs "oh please where is the fun in that. I guess we will just have to figure something out then hm." There's a pause for a moment "is the pretty boy there?"

They can hear the smile forming on her face and they sigh as Sam speaks "He went out. You might miss him if you don't come over now"

A beep is the only thing they here in response. They think she had chosen not to but when footsteps are heard across the wood floor they see her. Her red hair curled and falling down her shoulders nicely. She had also put on a nice outfit and they knew exactly who she was trying to impress.

Dean walks up to her glaring at her. "listen if you even think about flirting with him or even Looking at him with those eyes of yours ill kill you"

She smirks and places her hand on his shoulder. "oh Dean I'm not intimidated by you. I'm here to help you show me what you need me to do"

Sam brings her to all the things they had been researching and she nods and they get ingredients all out before she begins to slowly use her witchcraft. Making sure to do this correctly.

About an hour goes by and she's still there and you walk in through the door. "okay boys I've got everything for Sam's healthy smoothies cause he's a freak and Deans pie"

You look up and see the both of them looking at you "what?"

"Well took you long enough. I was beginning to think I would have to stall for even longer" You turn your head to look at Rowena and a small smile forms on your lips. "hello gorgeous sorry for keeping you waiting"

Sam grabs the bags from you and puts things away but not before telling the both of you to stop flirting. "well Sam if you and Dean don't want to watch us flirt I suggest you both remove yourselves from the room"

This causes the both of them to roll their eyes and they both leave and go to the kitchen. They knew that you liked her but you also wouldn't let her screw anything up for them. So as soon as they left the room you walk behind Rowena and look at what she's doing. "what are you doing with all these ingredients?"

She rests against you a little as if her body couldn't help but gravitate towards yours. "well watch and ill teach you a little something" A smile forms on your face as you place your chin on her shoulder lightly. "yes ma'am you have my full attention"

You could have sworn you seen her cheeks turn red but she chose to not draw attention to it. She began to show you slowly how to do simple things. She left out some of the steps because she didn't need you to know everything. If you wanted to learn how to do witchcraft she would teach you simple things first.

As she explained some of the steps to you. You listened to her words and after a while you were wondering why the boys weren't in here yet but you had a good idea of who is stopping them from being able to and she's right here with you.

Even when you knew she was trying to focus on the task at hand you couldn't help but want to get a reaction from her so you began to kiss her shoulder and to her neck and as you did you felt her relax and try to continue to work.

However when you got to her collarbone she leaned back and brought her hand to turn your face to look at her. "As much as this is amazing. I've got to finish this and what if Sam and Dean see you kissing me like this?"

Your response was shrugging your shoulders. "well they wouldn't be able to say anything. If i want you im gonna be with you" This results in her placing a quick kiss to your lips. Then you speak again "plus Sam was into a demon at one point in time and we are all pretty sure Dean had a thing for a vampire named Benny and now hes with an angel so"

She laughs and nods "okay well then you still need to back up so i can focus on this and not you" You nod and back away and go to the kitchen and let the both of them out.

When the three of you walk back to the room Rowena is finished with her work and walks over and hands it to Dean. "here now I believe you said there was something in it for me"

"what do you want and don't say what I think you are" He tries to sound stern but when she looks at you he sighs and Sam crosses his arms. "it might be a little to late for your opinions boys"

They give her a questioning look as she walks over to you and pulls you into a kiss and your hands go to her waist leaning into it and before you could stop her she magically takes her back to her home and then un connects your lips

The night is filled with her teaching you a little about witchcraft then movies and dinner. You knew she would let you leave at any time but tonight it was the last thing you wanted to do.

----

The boys back at the bunker both look at each other and try to grab onto you so you didn't go with her but they were to late. They weren't really worried about her keeping you hostage because even if they hated the fact...they knew she really did like you.

"oh come on!" Dean yells and Sam just laughs a little

"well they never were one to listen to well" Sam says

[hwashotcheeto]

𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

Park Seonghwa X gn!reader

Summary: Taking care of Hwa after a long day of...everything

WC: 1k

Content: Fluffffffff (all fluff, so much fluff, it's like cotton candy, pure sugar, oml)

AN: My first fic! Something short and sweet to ease into this. :> Enjoy my selfish indulgent fantasies about caring for mother Hwa.

Also MASSIVE thank you to the loml @malldreamprincess for making the moodboard, I love her so much, omg she's amazing

Also also listen to Hwa's cover of "Angel Baby" while reading this. If ykyk

It's been a long day for everyone. Especially long, since it felt like everything had been booked at once. Photoshoots (yes, multiple), an interview, a performance, and ending the night with brief recording.

It was already 11:30 when Seonghwa went into the booth. His body was screaming at him to sit down, but he knew if he did, he might not get back up.

So despite his eyes threatening to close, he continued with the recording.

You watched him from outside, a few feet away from an equally tired, if not more so, Hongjoong. You'd followed Seonghwa through most of the activities, and just going everywhere had you tired. You couldn't fathom the tiredness the guys were feeling.

And how often they had to endure it. This kind of day wasn't a rarity, but it wasn't common either. Their full album was going to be out in a few months, so obviously they needed to work on it. But they had other things to do, and that so happened to all be in one day.

Your heart ached as you watched your boyfriend tiredly try to record his lines, and kept fumbling on words because his mouth just couldn't make the correct shapes.

Hongjoong sighs, looking up at Seonghwa through the glass. “We have time tomorrow. You should just get to sleep.”

“But if I get done tonight, I don't have to do it tomorrow,” Seonghwa protests, in the strongest voice he can manage, which isn't much.

Hongjoong hangs his head, drumming his fingers on the desk. He looks up at you after a few seconds, and it hurts to see the light in his eyes all gone. He was about to pass out right there in his chair.

“Please go convince him to sleep, he's gonna pass out before he gets it right.”

You nodded and looked at Seonghwa again, his eyes beginning to flutter, his body swaying.

You get up from your chair and walk around the booth, going to the door and stepping inside. Seonghwa saw you coming, but he didn't move. He didn't even take the headphones off. You decided to do it for him, and to your surprise, he didn't protest. He may have already been asleep standing up, from how still and quiet he was.

“Tokki,” you call softly. Seonghwa finally shows signs of life, looking at you through his dark, silky hair. You brush his hair back and hold his cheek, to which he immediately leans into, his eyes snapping shut. “Please come back with me. You look like a zombie.”

“I need to-” He tries to speak, but you put your thumb over his lips.

“Hongjoong said you could do it tomorrow. It's okay, we can go back.” Seonghwa opens his eyes to look at you again, and just like Hongjoong, there’s no light in them. Dark pools of nothing. It almost scares you.

Seonghwa thinks about it for a few seconds, but he knows what his answer will be. He truly had no reason to stay awake when they have time tomorrow. You know it’s some unfortunate insecurity, and the demand from this industry he's joined, making people believe he’s more than he is.

To you, he's already everything he needs to be.

Seonghwa eventually nods, and you smile, pulling him into your arms. He hugs you back, leaning on you, nearly passing out right there. You keep him awake a little while longer, and help him out of the studio, and back to his dorm room.

When you make it back to his room, you're nearly carrying him. You make Seonghwa sit in his desk chair, and he instantly falls back into it, his head rolling back.

“Tokki, can you hold on just a little longer?” You ask, pulling his head up. He just hums, and you tap his cheek, making his eyes open. “I wanna take your makeup off, okay?” He nods, small short nods.

You sit on his lap as you carefully take off his makeup, carefully going over his skin with the cleanser. His arms are draped around your waist. A comforting little motion that means nothing to him, but so much to you.

Seonghwa, again, is falling asleep in the chair from your gentle touches. “Just a little longer,” you remind him, running a cotton pad across his eye. He hums in response, melting into the soft touch. You're holding his cheek with your other hand, making sure he stays in place, but it's just lulling him to sleep faster.

You finish removing his makeup and he whines when you pull away. “I'll be right back, nae sarang, I just wanna change your clothes, okay? You deserve to be comfy.” Seonghwa whines again, not caring about any of that. He just wanted to fall asleep in your arms. He could've been wearing combat gear, he'd still pass out just as comfortably.

But he stays awake a few minutes more as you strip him of his clothes and change him into his blue satin sleep set. As he feels it against his skin, he realizes that this is much more comfortable than his day clothes, and he's grateful for your effort.

Honestly, he's always grateful to be taken care of. Being the oldest of ATEEZ, he's obviously seen as the parent figure (mother, typically), and it gets exhausting.

So when Seonghwa found someone who was willing to spoil and care for him as much as he cared for his members, he swore to never let you go.

You quickly changed into one of his hoodies to sleep in, and finally helped him into his bed. He instantly cuddles up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and putting his head on your chest.

“I got you, jagiya,” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “I love you.”

“Saranghae,” Seonghwa mumbles back, squeezing you tighter.

You smile down at him as he passes out on your chest seconds later. You still watch over him, until your eyes snap shut, and you both are sleeping through the night.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

[papermint-airplane]

10 random facts about me

I was tagged by @rebelangelsims 😘

Let's see. I think I've done some random facts asks before so there may be some overlap because I'm not a very interesting person but let's see...

When I was like 6 or something, my brother had me convinced he was Peter Pan and he gave me a little bag of pixie dust. I was (and still am) terrified of heights but he told me if I jumped off the back porch, which was really high off the ground to tiny me, that I would fly if I sprinkled the pixie dust on myself. I got as far as climbing over the railing and trying to summon the courage to jump when he stopped me. Turns out the pixie dust was powdered sugar.

My favorite song of all time is Free Somebody by Luna from f(x). Idk what it is about that song that my brain latched onto like "yesssssss this is the one" but I just love it.

I am named after Laura Ingalls Wilder.

I am intensely weirded out by puppets, particularly of the Muppet variety. There's just something about those felt-covered bastards I don't trust.

I started playing the Sims 1 in 2002 when I was 16. I never owned a single expansion pack for it, but it captivated me so much, I was almost late for work more than once because my pixel people needed me.

I always say "please" and "thank you" to my virtual assistants, not because I'm afraid of a robot uprising, but because that's just how I am. I don't even realize I do it, most of the time. Me and Bixby (I'm a Samsung user) actually have beef because I'll be like "Hey Bixby open Outlook, please" and she'll be like "lol bitch Idk what Outlookplease is" and I'm like "OPEN. OUTLOOK. Please." and she's like "Idk what you want me to do, you don't have Outlookplease installed on your phone" and I'm like "I AM TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU" and Bixby just sits there all smug and not opening Outlook like aldjfalsdjfadsjfalsjfsd what do you want from me why won't you accept my politeness???????

I have made my Simself in every version of the game except Sims 1 because it wasn't possible to do so. But in Sims 2, 3, and 4, I have made myself and of course I am always a witch with a black cat familiar.

My addiction to CAS goes back to childhood when I used to make dresses for my Barbies out of random scraps of fabric. I didn't know how to sew, though, so everything was held together with safety pins, dental floss, school glue, and tape.

Not only can I whistle, I can whistle pretty darn well. I can't sing worth a damn so I guess God felt sorry for me and gave me one singular musical talent. It just so happens to be the one that most people find incredibly annoying.

I've been fascinated by Greek mythology since I was a small child entirely too young to be reading Greek mythology. Do you know how much incest there is in Greek mythology?! A lot. A LOT! I was raised by Fundies so it's really surprising I was allowed to read those stories and nobody was like "hey maybe the 6 year old shouldn't be reading about all this murder and incest and baby-eating". Because baby-eating also comes up a surprising amount of times. I still love it, though. Give me a good Greek myth any day.

Hmmmmmm let's see...who to tag...

Well if you read all of that crazy shit up there, I'm tagging you. Yes, you! You reading this!

Also, @venriliz, @getboolpropped, @changingplumbob, @coreene-simblr, @druidberries, and @living-undead don't ask questions just do it unless you don't want to.

[inkblackorchid]

What the hell happened with Crow: an autopsy (Part 4)

*Deep breath* Okay, everybody. Let's do this one more time.

First off, hello, or welcome back. Let's get the introductions and disclaimers out of the way, shall we?

This is the fourth and final instalment in my very, very long-winded attempt to analyse the character writing of Crow over the course of the entirety of yugioh 5Ds. For everyone who hasn't read the previous parts of the analysis, you can find part one here, part two here, and part three here.

This post, and my analysis as a whole, is neither meant as a Crow hate post, nor as a manifesto to convince people who don't like him that they're wrong. It's as genuine an attempt to simply look at and dissect what the show gives us about him as I can make, though I admit to personal bias because I do like Crow. That said, I'm trying to stay as neutral as possible, because the aim of this entire post tetralogy is to look at the writing decisions made for this character and how they impact him—and how they possibly influenced the audience's perception of him.

My previous three posts all reference this as well, but since I still see these things parroted all across the internet to this day: Please don't read this post under the assumption that any of the 5Ds production rumours are true, especially not the ones surrounding Crow. Because, to make this as short as possible, every popular theory as to why certain characters were mishandled during the later parts of the show fails to line up with the production timeline of said show. Chiefly among those theories, the idea that Crow was meant to be a dark signer and that his popularity correlated to his cards, and the idea that Aki, specifically, had to give up her screentime for him because her VA got pregnant, which both lack any basis in reality, as you can read in the posts I linked. (One final shoutout to @mbg159 here, who compiled these incredibly comprehensive posts and can also be found here on tumblr. Huge thanks.) So if you can do me one favour, please just let the 5Ds rumours die already and read this analysis without the hope of seeing any of them confirmed. I'm so sick of these crackpot theories at this point that I can hardly find the words for it. And while we're on the topic, I also don't want to see this post used as a means to pit Aki and Crow against each other in any way—both have good reasons to be well-liked and both deserve their spot in the narrative, all right? All right.

And now, at last, let's get down to business. The last time I got on a virtual soapbox and yelled about Crow, I covered the entire WRGP, murder-duel-robot induced break included. That means that for this, final stretch, we'll be looking at everything from episode 137 onwards—the Ark Cradle arc. (A side not for dub aficionados here: Episode 136 was the last episode that got an English dub. In other words, everything I talk about here never even made it into the English version. Because 4Kids, I guess.) As we've done before, we'll take a look at what exactly Crow gets up to during the final stretch of the show (and, notably, the epilogue), then see whether any of it needed improving, and if so, how it could have been improved.

You'll find all further yelling below the readmore, and I'll leave you with the other, usual warning here, as well: This will be long. Even if the Ark Cradle arc, relative to the rest of the show, isn't, this post most certainly will be. So get some snacks and perhaps don't start reading this late at night unless you're good at knowing when to stop and reading stuff in bursts. (I'm not.)

As I concluded at the end of my last post, the WRGP ended up being a bit of a mixed bag for Crow. He's there, he duels, but at the same time, despite being positioned as an equal third of a protagonist trio, he's notably less important and arguably also weaker than Yusei and Jack. Moreover, where the plot is concerned, he sure didn't get too much to do—not to speak of the fact that the writers didn't grace him with any meaningful interactions with a certain character who'll become very relevant here.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, the preamble.

With the end of the Team New World duel, the final arc of the show drops the by this point unexpected arrival of the Ark Cradle right on our heads. So, what does Crow do here, at the start, other than be shocked? Well, not much. A lot of the first episode that introduces the Ark Cradle focusses more on the imminent threat said structure poses to New Domino City, and we flash back to our protagonists mostly to ascertain that things are, in fact, going to shit. Even once that focus on the city evacuating shifts again, the episode concerns itself more with Yusei than with Crow. However, meagre as it is, we do get the first interaction between Crow and Sherry during the Ark Cradle arc in this episode.

(Uh.... at least they're technically talking to each other?)

And frankly... It's not much. Unfortunately, up until the duel where he faces her, the Ark Cradle arc continues a trend regarding interactions between Crow and Sherry that we already saw in the WRGP: They barely get to interact, and even when they do, they never have anything so much as resembling a meaningful conversation, mostly because Sherry basically never addresses Crow directly, nor seems very interested in him, while Crow is usually there only to react to what she's saying, rather than actually talk to her. While digging through my mountain of screenshots, I found that latter part to be especially interesting, because as it turns out, this is a trend not just in Crow's interactions with Sherry, specifically. Many moments that probably contribute to the nefarious "screentime" (I've explained my gripes with this term in part two) some people like to accuse Crow of hogging have him only be part of a scene so he can react to what happens in it, to the point of him sometimes feeling like a stand-in for the audience reaction the writers might be hoping for. The above is a perfect example, because as far as character writing is concerned, Crow's "interaction" with Sherry here is utterly devoid of meaning. He's just there to communicate his disbelief over the ominous prediction that Yusei is guaranteed to die if he goes to the Ark Cradle, which feels like exactly the kind of reaction the writers probably wanted from the audience. After all, it's a bold, shocking statement to make. The protagonist, dying? In a card game anime geared towards twelve year-olds? It's downright preposterous. And Crow seems to agree with that, if his dialogue is anything to go by.

This one and other scenes (mostly the kind that contain plot elements that Crow doesn't actually interact with) got me thinking, though, and after having gone through so much of the show with a fine-tooth comb now, I think I've come to a conclusion, so permit me a tangent here: I believe the choice to let Crow, specifically, be a character who often only reacts to events or interactions after the DS arc, rather than contributing much himself, is deliberate. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he's the only character who is frequently put in this position—Aki, the twins, and even Bruno, especially when they're on the sidelines in the WRGP, also often only seem to be there to react or comment on things, perhaps partially to remind us viewers that they still exist, despite not being in a position where they contribute anything to the plot. With how much the twins and Aki got pushed to the side after the pre-WRGP and the Unicorn duel, respectively, and with how toned-down Bruno's entire character is until the very end, as not to spoil his tragic antagonist status too much, Crow in particular ending up as an often reactive, rather than active character stands out a bit more, though. And I think this has everything to do with his personality, because it contrasts that of Jack and Yusei. Think of it. Sure, Crow is shown several times to be just as cool and competent as the other two, but what he has that the other two crucially lack is the ability to freak out like a normal person. I'm being hyperbolic here, of course, but I do genuinely believe this, because when I think back to the show, Jack and Yusei, due to their character writing, only ever seem to be allowed to lose their cool during pretty specific circumstances, and only in very specific ways. Jack, for example, only ever gets to freak out either when a scene paints him as the butt of the joke (like during his infamous, dramatic outburst over cup ramen), or when the freakout is caused by—and expressed as—righteous (or not so righteous) fury (like when he storms off angrily after catching everyone watching his old duel with Dragan). Meanwhile, Yusei is played so straight that we barely ever see him lose his composure at all, outside of intensely dramatic, high-stakes situations (think his dark signer duels with Kiryu, his confrontation with Roman, his initial failure to accel synchro). Hell, the closest we get to ever seeing him be mildly upset about something like a normal person, as far as I can recall, is when he gets embarrased by Martha calling him out on his perceived crush on Aki. That's it.

Crow, though. Crow's allowed to do something the other two aren't: He's allowed to react to the world around him like your average guy. Jack blows through their household money for expensive coffee. Crow gets upset. Understandable. Crow gets injured right before his big debut in a turbo duelling tournament and is upset to the point of snapping at his friends over it. Understandable. Seeing Yaeger's kid cheering his dad on and knowing that this kid will cry if his dad loses makes Crow relent and throw the match. Understandable. Sherry predicts Yusei's imminent death due to hocus pocus and Crow calls bullshit. Understandable.

Do you see what I'm driving at? With how the show treats the other two Satellite boys, I'd argue none of the moments above would have worked anywhere near as well if the writers had tried to make Jack or Yusei take Crow's place in any of them. Because while Yusei and Jack, I feel, were certainly written to be the coolest characters (at least to the target audience), Crow seems like he was written to be the most relatable. He's the guy who takes on a delivery job when they need money. He's the guy who complains about his cranky landlady. And he's the guy who reacts to insane nonsense happening around him a little more realistically than his defeated-an-ancient-devil-to-absorb-its-power brother, his shouldering-the-guilt-of-a-cataclysmic-event-decades-ago other brother, their mutual previously-violent-psychic-who-was-part-of-a-cult friend, and the one-of-us-can-see-spirits-and-we-share-a-weird-kind-of-magical-bond twins. As such, it doesn't feel too out there to me to claim that in many situations, they made Crow the stand-in for the audience, because he has a less iron composure than Jack and Yusei, is readily available in many scenes by virtue of living with the other two, and happens to be the guy who has the arguably most normal backstory out of the signers. (Save, perhaps, for Rua, but I've already addressed before why the writers barely ever pulled Rua centre stage for anything. And they certainly wouldn't have pulled him centre stage for this, either.)

Now, as far as character writing is concerned, assuming I'm at least halfway correct with my hunch above, I feel that whether or not this decision is good or a shot in the foot on the writers' part depends largely on every audience member's individual perception of Crow after the DS arc. If you liked seeing this scrappy guy introduced during the DS arc, of course you would have been happy to see more of him! Even if he's only present in scenes to comment on what's going on and doesn't actually get to do anything meaningful. If you didn't like Crow that much, though, I can see how him popping up so often only to yap a bit and contribute essentially nothing could have grated on you. And as I said, I think this is where the "screentime" discussion comes in again, because yeah, Crow is very much on screen in all these little-bit-of-nothing scenes. He doesn't get to do much and his character isn't fleshed out or reinforced in any way, but he sure is there. For better or for worse.

And this—this is where I can finally get back to him and Sherry. Because in his interactions specifically with her, it is for worse, due to the fact that all the scenes that contain both of them before the Ark Cradle duel are pretty much exclusively these kinds of little-bit-of-nothing, reactive scenes. Crow doesn't get to interact with Sherry meaningfully, and he never—and I need to empathise this—, not once gets to interact with her one on one, not until the end-of-series duel both of them take part in happens. What makes Crow's lack of meaningful interactions with Sherry even worse is that his later duelling partner against her is Aki, of all people, who by contrast gets to interact with Sherry a whole bunch, most notably during her duel against Yusei. Not only that, but Sherry is also shown to actually be interested in Aki, which cannot be said for Crow. Yet, still in the same episode I was describing above, while the Ark Cradle begins its descent, it's not Aki, but Crow who is entrusted with this card by Mizoguchi/Elsworth:

(I'd like to point out that the dialogue following this moment doesn't make it clear whether Crow even knows what Sherry's connection to this card is. For all we know, this could be the first time Crow sees it, without being aware of any of the context surrounding it.)

You know, the card that's essentially a symbol of Sherry's attachment to her parents and her commitment to revenge. The card that basically her entire character revolves around. For a single piece of cardboard, this thing comes with a lot of narrative baggage attached, yet canon doesn't even take the time to assure us that Crow knows what Z-ONE means, other than it being a memento of Sherry's parents, as Mizoguchi explains. And frankly, this all feels like a rather ham-fisted attempt to get some last-minute setup for the later confrontation between Crow and Sherry in. It's like the writers desperately wanted to feel the emotional moment in the duel later to feel earned; they wanted to have their cake and eat it, too. There's only one problem: They didn't even bake the damned thing, the ingredients are just sitting around, untouched, as if staring at them long enough will magically make a cake manifest.

But, well, since I'm already talking about this, I may as well get into the actual meat of the matter, because frankly, it's not like Crow gets much else to do at the start of the arc. Yusei takes off because he at first wants to go to the Ark Cradle alone (like an idiot), leading to the signers coming after him (and telling him he's an idiot). Joining this effort and assuring Yusei that they won't let him die alongside the others is as much as Crow gets to do before the inevitable three-way duel starts.

(That said, while it doesn't accomplish anything, I've always appreciated this little moment while Yusei still tries to pull his stupid kamikaze plan—Crow would know more shortcuts in the BAD area than he does. After all, he lived there for a good while!)

After that, everyone gets up to the Ark Cradle and, as we all know, the signer group is forcibly split up by Z-ONE before deciding to go to a Yusei gear each in order to shut down Ark Cradle's negative Moment. (Top ten sentences that wouldn't make a lick of sense to anyone who isn't up to their neck in 5Ds lore.) And the very first duel on the menu in this final stretch of episodes is also Crow's final duel in the entire show.

(Drumroll please.)

Here's the thing. I love this duel, actually. I get extremely hyped every time I rewatch it. BUT. But. I do not love it so blindly that I couldn't see that it has not one, but several issues. Not only that, but those issues don't just rest on Crow's shoulders, they sadly rest on the shoulders of all three participants in this duel, because frankly? Alongside the four-way Jack/Rua/Ruka/Aporia duel, this duel is one of the Ark Cradle arc's desperate attempts to tie up loose ends. Because as much as I enjoy this arc, that's exactly what it is: A race to the finish line, an attempt to tie as many loose ends as possible up in as little time as the show could get away with. To make clear why I think this, let me just list off all the things this arc resolves or at the very least tries to tie up with a neat bow:

It reintroduces Aki's psychic powers, which we were previously led to believe she'd lost. Notably, we didn't get a reason for why they disappeared and don't get a reason for why they reappear, either. It also turns them into healing powers in an attempt to establish a reason for why she later studies medicine.

It explains what happened to Sherry and what actually drives her revenge. Furthermore, it releases her from her narrative fridge-prison in order to actually let her duel Aki (yes, Aki, specifically), which is a confrontation that was subtextually implied several times previously.

It resolves the question of Bruno's identity by revealing him as an antagonist.

It finally reveals Life Stream Dragon, who was at this point teased over seventy episodes ago.

It also finally rewards Rua, who was teased to possibly become a signer during the DS arc, with an actual signer mark. (As short-lived as it may be.)

It actually explains Iliaster's real plan, which is Z-ONE's hope that the 5Ds gang can actually save the future.

Speaking of which, it actually explains who Z-ONE is and why he's a big deal. (Remember, this guy was first teased a good while ago at this point in time.)

Alongside Sherry, it dusts off several protagonists who didn't get an opportunity to duel on-screen and lets them duel one, final time. (Notably, Aki, Rua, and Ruka, who at this point haven't been seen duelling since the early WRGP or even pre-WRGP.)

You may notice that none of these bullet points contain Crow. They do, however, contain Aki and Sherry, both of whom went into this finale with several unanswered questions as to their characters. Crow, not so much. But let's just put a pin in that for now while we actually jump into the duel.

*Cracks knuckles* Aki & Crow VS Sherry. Here we go at last. Fair warning, the character writing of all three participants of this duel overlaps a fair bit here, so expect to hear a bit of a mishmash about our revenge trio.

So, how does this duel start? Firstly, with Sherry waxing poetic about why she's even opposing Team 5Ds now.

(A dramatic switch of sides that sadly doesn't hold a candle to Bruno turning out to be Antinomy. Which, funnily enough, might be why this duel is front-loaded and Bruno's comes later.)

I won't dig into this too much, but I just want to point out the one thing this moment gives us: It establishes character motivation. Sherry claims she can no longer get revenge and has thus lost her purpose. (The reason why she can no longer get revenge, if you're interested, is because Moment Express, her final lead, vanished in its entirety, as far as canon is concerned.) Thus, she took the bait when Z-ONE offered her a new purpose, and, more importantly, a reward. Now, Aki and Crow at this point in the episode don't get to hear what that reward is, but for our analysis, it's important to keep in mind: Z-ONE promised Sherry he'd alter the timeline so she would get her parents back if she helps him. And I think this is immensely important because this is not only Sherry's goal in the present, I think it's actually the core of her character from the very first moment we meet her. In classic, tragic-avenging-type character fashion, she claims to want revenge when what she's really doing is trying to numb the pain of the awareness that she'll never get her parents back. (Though I'll admit this may also be my generous read of her as a person who likes revenge-obsessed characters.) And then, Z-ONE dangles the actual thing she wanted all along before her. Of course she took the bait.

This brings us to the start of the duel itself. As we know, Sherry employs some tactics that feel quite different from what she previously did in this duel. First and foremost, she messes with the mechanics of the duel itself by using the field spell Ecole de Zone, creating an illusion that confuses Aki and Crow into duelling not her, but each other at first. Sherry, meanwhile, takes a very passive role, clearly intent on letting the two destroy each other while she sporadically activates card effects to accelerate this. What makes all this stand out as even more unusual for her is that she sets this up by lying. At the beginning of the duel, she tells Aki and Crow that there's two of her, and that each duellist will fight one copy of her on a seperate field each, but this is a misdirection to make the two signers duel each other instead of her. And, look. I don't need to tell you this is out of character for Sherry. Canon literally does that for me.

(Case in point.)

It's only after Crow and Aki catch onto the fact that something's wrong and after Aki destroys the field spell that Sherry uses her "real strategy", switching to Soul Binding Gate, which inflicts real damage every time a monster with less attack points than her life points is summoned, in order to whittle away at both other duellists' life points. This is also the point where she reveals to her opponents that she's doing all this to get her parents back. While she does that, we get a bit more back and forth in terms of cardplay, until Aki sets the field up just right so Crow can land a very high-damage hit with Black-Winged Dragon to end the duel. And that is pretty much the gist of it on the duelling side of things.

So what's going on on the narrative side of things, then? Well. Let me front-load something I've noticed on the narrative end: This duel heavily interacts with Crow's and Sherry's characterisation, but barely at all with Aki's. I'll make clear what I mean by that below. For now, let's just get an overview by going through the character moments as they occur in the duel. Why go through all of them? Because most either interact with Crow in some way, or set up a later interaction in the same duel that he's a part of, that's why. I'll get into the nitty-gritty of what this duel did well and what it didn't after that. (Mostly. You may have noticed I like tangents and rambling excessively.)

So.

The first moment belongs to Aki and Crow in equal measure, and happens just as Ecole de Zone is destroyed—which Aki accomplishes by using Crow's monster to synchro summon Black Rose Dragon, as well as prevent that synchro summon from being negated through the same monster's effect, so she can use her dragon's field wipe to get rid of Sherry's field spell. When Sherry is surprised by this, Aki and Crow explain that they memorised each other's cards as part of a strategic effort as a WRGP team.

(Friendship is, in fact, magic.)

Not only does this explanation make perfect sense, it's also an excellent little tidbit to tie Aki and Crow together as a tag-team here, as it strengthens the connection between them. The only gripe I could possibly see with this is that it feels like this didn't necessarily need to be a surprise, end-of-the-show reveal. Frankly, it could have been pretty cool to see this much earlier, to have members of Team 5Ds realise what their teammates were getting up to during the WRGP duels, for example. (Instead of so often having the other signers react just as shocked as the announcer to their teammates' plays—I'm side-eyeing the infamous "a trap from the graveyard"-moment in particular. Like, Aki, sweetie, if you memorised Crow's deck, why are you surprised that he has a trap he can activate from the graveyard? I digress.) Moreover, this could have built anticipation for this particular duel, as viewers would have been excited to see what Aki and Crow would come up with to defeat Sherry as a team. So this moment is not bad, really. Just a bit underutilised, at least to me. (The word "underutilised" might become a trend in this post.)

Every other character-driven moment from here on out is shoved into the second duel episode, 140. Speaking of which, this episode starts with Aki and Crow getting the reveal of why Sherry is helping Z-ONE, where she admits that she joined the bad guys because she wants her parents back. She even goes as far as stating that because Z-ONE showed her the future, she has no hope that it can be saved and thus at least wants her lovely past back so she can have some solace before everything goes to hell for humanity. But we already went over that above.

Next up, albeit this moment should probably be considered more of a running theme than just one self-contained thing, we have Crow's struggle with Soul Binding Gate. Remember, the effect of this field spell causes all players to take damage every time a monster with less ATK than Sherry's LP is summoned. And at this point in the duel, Aki is barely above 1000 life points, so Crow worries about triggering the field spell's effect and hurting her, which leads to him playing suboptimally because he's more concerned about his friend than about winning the duel. Notably, Aki calls him out on this.

(She has a point.)

Outside of providing an internal conflict for Crow to grapple with, this isn't much to write home about. (Side note: I do find it interesting that they introduce the fear of physically hurting someone in a duel specifically in connection to Aki here, though, given that through her psychic powers, she had to grapple with this exact issue many times in the past. I have no idea if this was intentional, though.)

Between this and the next moment, there's a nice bit of interplay between Crow and Aki again, where he activates a card to refill her life points just in time so she doesn't drop to zero through Soul Binding Gate, while Aki uses a defensive trap to protect Crow in return.

(This is just here because it's a money shot to me. The juxtaposition of their faces and their life points, showing that while Aki may have the lowest life points, she still has the coolest head in this duel, and while Sherry technically has the upper hand, she's beginning to falter because she didn't anticipate the other two to work so well together. It's chef's kiss. Mwah.)

What follows after this, is, of course, the Big Moment. Where Sherry tries to convince Crow to forfeit so she can win and have Z-ONE change the past. And this is the one I really need to dig into.

With Sherry's earlier admission that she's on Iliaster's side because she wants her parents back acting as setup, she begins her attempt to sway Crow by telling him that if he had the opportunity to change the past, he would do it, too. And while Crow initially protests, Sherry challenges this, then proceeds to show him what Z-ONE's power could accomplish, and we get a lengthy sequence where Sherry, through weird cyborg-techno-magic-shenanigans that are never explained, takes Aki and Crow to a dreamlike space where Crow sees the orphans he used to take care of being happily reunited with their parents. Sherry also ominously tells him that this is "what he desires deep in his psyche" before promising him that if he surrenders the duel, Z-ONE can give him a world where Zero Reverse never occurred and all the kids can have happy lives with their real families. (I wanted to post most of this sequence in screenshots, but while I have them, I've realised I'm only a few images short of tumblr's limit already, so forgive me because I will need those remaining image spots.) This moment proceeds to introduce some serious doubt on Crow's end. Aki, meanwhile, remains steadfast, telling him not to fall for Sherry's manipulation, which leads to her giving an almost Yusei-style speech. In a moment where Crow wavers, both because he's genuinely considering whether taking Sherry's offer might be the wiser choice, and because he doesn't want to hurt Aki by triggering Sherry's field spell effect, Aki calls out to him and tells him to snap out of it by reminding him of how Yusei reached out to her during their second duel. This speech is a bit, um. Clunky, I feel. (At least if the translation is correct. If it isn't, then that may be the issue.) See, she tells him that Yusei "saved her from the darkness of her psychic powers", that "he wasn't concerned about his own safety and risked his life to persuade her", that, because her psychic powers are now gone, she's "renewed" and that this somehow brought her to the epiphany that as long as she believes in her own potential, she can change the future. This is lifted almost verbatim from the scene, by the way. Leaving aside the fact that half of this feels like a mild to severe misrepresentation of Aki's character arc during the DS arc (don't talk about it, don't talk about it, I need to make this another post of its own, damn it), I, personally, can't exactly follow how she ended up with that final epiphany from the circumstances she listed. But lucky for us, Crow apparently gets what she's driving at, because he quickly echoes her statement and they both conclude that Crow's kids also believe in the future and fight to live, that they're not sad about their lives the way they are right now, even though they don't have parents. Thus, Crow catches himself, echoing Aki's sentiment and telling Sherry that he, too, believes in the future. And through the power of Friendship and Believing in the Future, he manages to use Aki's cards to land the final hit, nicely mirroring how she used his to destroy Ecole de Zone.

...Phew. Okay, look. First off, that above, large section is basically several character beats stacked on top of one another. On Sherry's end, we have the intriguing fact that she's specifically trying to manipulate Crow, not Aki. In fact, she doesn't so much as try to sway Aki, as though she knows it's no use. Then, on Aki's end, we've got her pulling a real Yusei, staying level-headed almost the entire duel and reaching out to make sure Crow stays on track. This moment also ties back to her own conflict with her powers again. (Which, unfortunately, I will talk about, and yes, I'll be chewing drywall the entire time I do it.) Finally, on Crow's end, we've got a nice, proper moment where he doubts himself and, by his own admission, nearly makes a terrible mistake because he wants nothing more than for the kids he used to take care of to have good lives.

Now, before I go over what worked about this moment and what didn't, let me just chew through the rest of the actual duel itself, too, then circle back too highlight some things. In other words, time for me to chew some drywall.

*Sigh*

At the very end of the duel, there are two more character moments that are noteworthy.

First, right before the final hit, we get Sherry desperately defending herself against Aki and Crow's newly strengthened belief that the future can, in fact, still be saved, which she does by (rather heartbreakingly) asking what's so wrong about wanting her parents back, about wanting their love and warmth back. It's at this point that Crow's allowed to get back at Sherry by challenging her beliefs, telling her that people "work hard to live because they only get one chance at life", and that there's no point in trying to go back to do things differently, that the only way to keep going is to believe in the future, regardless of whatever painful and sad events one has had to live through. I'd say this sentiment certainly fits Crow, character-wise, especially given his rough Satellite background. It does partially fall flat because it feels a bit weird for him, specifically, to now be acting like he knows Sherry inside and out, much like she did with him earlier, but again, this is simply a matter of setup and I'll try not to belabour that point again. The horse is already dead, no sense in beating it. It's after this speech and the final attack that Sherry finally realises her error.

Buuut this leads us right into the next character moment. Because as the duel ends, Sould Binding Gate physically falls apart, pelting all three of our duel participants in debris and threatening to crush them under it. While everyone does briefly fall over (and Sherry gets a moment to realise that her father wanted her to live strong, not accept seemingly inevitable doom and die weak), they soon realise they were not, in fact, buried under rubble, though. Because guess what! Black Rose Dragon to the rescue. Black Rose Dragon, who can suddenly physically affect her surroundings again. You know, that thing we were led to believe Aki could no longer make her monsters do because she lost her powers completely out of nowhere. And there's more! Because not only does Black Rose Dragon take care of the debris for the trio, as she disappears, she also heals all three of them, and in response, Crow gets a line that I unfortunately cannot for the life of me discuss without bias because it kills me every time.

(Crow. Crow, please. You're killing me. I beg you.)

This line out of Crow's mouth feels extremely weird to me, and in the process of typing up this post, I've been trying to find the reason why. Here's the conclusion I've come to: Firstly, it feels a bit out of place from him, somehow. A line hypothesising about what psychic powers can or can't do—this is something I would have expected out of Aki's mouth, but not out of Crow's. I believe what makes it feel so out of place, though, isn't necessarily that it seems a bit odd for him, specifically, to theorise about this, but that when I hear it, I don't feel like the character is saying it. Instead, in this moment, moreso than in some others that suffer from the same issue, I hear not Crow, but the writers speaking. I hear them telling me "look, we know we made it seem like Aki's powers are super gone and like they were super, irredeemably bad, and like she and you should be happy that they're gone, but here, see, this is what they're really like. Don't you think we came up with something clever here, to set her becoming a doctor later up nicely? No, this isn't because we needed to backpedal on our decision to make her lose them and be happy about it at the last second, why do you ask?". And yes, I concede this might just be me. (So feel free to disregard this in terms of analysis, I just have some weird kind of vendetta against this line.) But still, even without my personal issues hampering me, this line of dialogue out of Crow's mouth is just plain odd. After all, how would he know what "real" psychic powers are? Since when is he the expert, especially considering we've never so much as seen him comment on Aki's powers before? (And for the record, this line would have seemed just as weird had any other character other than Aki said it imo. It just has that unmistakable "writers trying to justify something at the last second"-tang to me.)

And do not. Do Not get me started on the fact that the writers, despite going to such great pains to paint Aki's psychic powers as an exclusively negative thing especially during the WRGP arc, decide to reintroduce them here, suddenly as a good thing that can also heal people, which directly contradicts every choice they've made when it came to Aki's relationship to her powers ever since the Team Catastrophe duel. While crucially also lacking the one thing this entire duel is practically begging for: Fucking. Setup. But at this point, the handling of Aki's powers, specifically, really needs its own post, so I'll hold off on any further comments here and come back to that another time. I feel like I'm beginning to talk in circles, anyhow. Setup. Setup, setup, setup. This duel wishes it had it, because then the ideas presented here—which, in a vacuum, are compelling—might have worked smoothly.

But, with that. We have finally made it through the duel itself. Sherry, at the very end, gets her change of heart and at last cements herself as a good guy, and that concludes the first duel in the finale, and also both Aki and Crow's last duel in the entire show.

And good lord, was this duel all over the place. Though I think my meandering scene-by-scene breakdown of it showed as much. Now, onto the proper evaluation of what worked and what didn't here. First, let's get the good these two episodes do out of the way, shall we. (Because there is a lot of Bad I need to yell about, unfortunately.)

By virtue of being one of the final duels, this is Aki and Crow's last chance to shine, and shine, they do. Both in the duelling department and in the character department. Aki makes two major plays that upend Sherry's strategy and Crow's perfectly in sync with her, showing that the two truly are teammates, and paying off all the character moments they had specifically in the Team Unicorn to Team Catastrophe section of the WRGP. Their friendship and cooperation is believable and entertaining to watch. Then on the character side, Aki's growth is (somewhat) paid off—where she used to be a character that doubted herself and was afraid of hurting people, she is now the one who can keep a level head and help others fight their self-doubt. Meanwhile, Crow gets to show off his unfailing dedication to community and family again, both by watching out for Aki and by selflessly desiring not for himself to have a better life, but for the kids he used to take care of. And Sherry, who was previously removed from the narrative in such an unsatisfactory way, finally gets to duel again, gets to explain why she actually does what she does, and gets to join the heroes at the end, permanently joining the ranks of the good guys instead of the villains. Happy endings all around.

Ehem. And this is where I'm gonna be less nice about this duel. Because the problem is, due to the specific constellation of characters involved in this duel and how they previously interacted in the show, there's a lot of stuff here that doesn't work nearly as well on a second watch as a first watch would like to make you believe.

First, a broader issue on the card game end of things: The way this duel feels, it's very much more Aki's duel than Crow's, which is also kind of confirmed in the card plays being made. Though it's Crow who's first shown to catch onto the fact that a third party is activating additional card effects out of nowhere, it's Aki who fully solves the mystery, uses Crow's monster to synchro summon Black Rose Dragon, then activates her dragon's effect to get rid of the illusion for good. And while Crow gets to land the final hit, it's Aki's setup and her trap, Synchro Stream, that make it possible for him to win for both of them. And yet. On the dialogue- and character-interaction side of things, this duel is made out to be much more Crow's than Aki's. Because, perhaps surprisingly to some, Aki doesn't waver one bit in this duel. She's got her head in the game the entire time. She's here to do business—that business being defeating Sherry—and by god, does she do it. Moreover, unlike Crow, she has much, much better setup to be duelling Sherry than he does. And this comes right back around to the main thing this duel suffers from, which I've already harped on about: Crow and Sherry, up until this point, have not interacted in a way that would make the connection between them seem in any way significant. Unfortunately for this duel, though, Aki and Sherry have.

From the first episode where we're introduced to Sherry, she's shown to be interested in who Aki is and what she can do. During the duel between her and Yusei, she comments on Aki's powers. Later, when Aki is getting her turbo duelling license, Sherry watches on with interest. At some point while Aki's training, Sherry drops by to speak with her and Yusei again. My point here being, of course, that Aki, unlike Crow, got several scenes where she interacted with Sherry or had Sherry meaningfully take note of her existence before this point. Yet, whatever dynamic the writers may or may not have been aiming for between these two is, at best, underutilised in the final duel, if not completely ignored, at worst. Instead, the writers shift their focus to Crow and try to make us believe that Sherry, a character who has barely acknowledged his existence thus far, would know him well enough to consider him the better target for her attempt at manipulation. (And don't get me started on how the hell Z-ONE's weird robot magic is supposed to expose what Crow "desires deep in his psyche". That is simply a chasm the show expects us to suspend our disbelief over.) And look. The thing is, I don't think the Big Moment where Sherry tries to convince Crow to forfeit is terrible in isolation. Like, they could have made this work, had they given these two setup, had they given us, the audience, reason to believe Crow could be swayed like this (which they, notably, also didn't), and had they given us the impression that Sherry knows Crow well enough to pull something like this. What hurts the scene immensely, however, is that it's preceded by everything before, starting from the WRGP, where there is no setup between these two, no reason to believe Crow could be convinced to forfeit a duel against a major antagonist, and no meaningful interactions to support the belief that Sherry knows who Crow really is at all.

What also stands out to me is that Crow really doesn't feel like the best character to parallel Sherry, here, either. Parallel in the sense that she tries to get to him by expressing a desire she believes they both feel—getting a certain, nicer version of the past they never had back. Because the thing is, Sherry and Crow hardly feel like they have very much in common, and there's certainly no previous hints to make anyone believe they would have this in common. (So for all we know, Sherry could have just been taking a shot in the dark by trying to convince Crow.) You know who could have made for an excellent character to mirror Sherry, though? Yeah. The third person in the room during this scene. Aki.

See, here's the thing about these three as characters, in relation to what this scene tries to accomplish (getting a protagonist to waver by having the antagonist appeal to certain emotional similarities between them): While Crow may perhaps be more relatable to the audience, he isn't all that relatable to Sherry. He comes from dirt poor origins, she from rich ones. He doesn't even remember his parents, she defines herself by the memory of hers. She's a lone wolf, he's incredibly community-focussed. The only parallel you could have drawn between these two, up until this duel, is knowing what it feels like to want revenge. (Sherry with her parents, Crow with his kids back in the DS arc.) But guess what, unfortunately, Aki knows that too, what with her past as the Black Rose Witch and wanting to make people pay for ostracising her. And to make matters worse, she has a lot of other things going for her that parallel Sherry much, much better, too. They both come from well-off families, both have had major, traumatising events in their lives revolve around their parents, both left their initial family structure by way of drastic changes in their life, both are intimately familiar with the desire for vengeance, and, most damningly, Aki knows what it's like to stand on the side of the bad guys—like Sherry is doing in that very scene—because you feel like it's the only place that gives you hope/meaning. Not to speak of the fact that Aki, given her turbulent past with her psychic powers, would probably know exactly what it feels like to want a past you never had back. There would have been so much to work with there, and it makes whatever they were gunning for with Crow look... lacklustre, to put it mildly, by comparison.

The worst part is, I think, that the blame lies neither with the characters nor with the scene concept here. Solely with the execution. Because I truly think they could have made this work. They could have made the entire duel work, big character moments and all. But the keyword is and always has been setup. Setup, which the writers, at least in part, strangely gave to Aki, but not to Crow, which is what hurts particularly his portion of this duel, and, arguably, his character writing in general. Because—and this may be a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but permit me this—while Crow wanting a better future for the kids he used to take care of over a better future for himself feels perfectly on brand, the idea of him forfeiting a duel against a major antagonist, while the threat of the entire city being destroyed is hanging above his head... doesn't. Like, yes, I've talked about the fact that Crow is the only character in 5Ds who ever actually loses duels on purpose. What you may remember, though, is that both occasions we've seen him do this—against Lyndon and Yaeger, respectively—were much lower-stakes duels than this. Not to speak of the fact that it also feels a little odd that Crow, of all people, would buy into the idea that Z-ONE's genuinely powerful enough to just give those kids their parents back, given how liberally he called bullshit on pretty much any and all supernatural mumbo-jumbo claiming that fate is inevitable, or that the gods have this-and-that power, or what have you the entire show. (Also, doesn't he strike you as the guy who'd wonder why Z-ONE's not using his fancy powers for better things, if the extent of them is so great? Or is that just me?) It's a moment of character doubt that tries to sell itself as believable, even though we've never been given any hints that this kind of temptation, specifically, could work on Crow.

Ultimately, Crow & Aki VS Sherry feels like a very hot-and-cold duel. On the cardplay side, the teamwork between Aki and Crow is well done, yet the duel does feel like it skews more towards Aki than towards Crow. Sherry, meanwhile, plays tricky and mean like a proper antagonist, but does so at the expense of sacrificing all her previous tactics and monsters (and, arguably, some of her character, though this is probably on purpose, given her transformation into an antagonist). Then, on the character side, we've got Aki in an interestingly Yusei-ish role, which, while it feels like a good way to show how she's matured and learned, wastes her character dynamic with Sherry. On the other side, Crow and Sherry interact in several personal ways throughout the duel that leave you wondering when exactly these two got to know each other so well, because the show certainly didn't give us a visible progression of their dynamic. The only dynamic that leaves nothing to be desired is that between Aki and Crow (stilted speeches aside), because it excellently showcases their friendship and teamwork. Very weird decisions made in the writing here all around.

We'll get into the nitty-gritty of what changes I would have suggested to improve this duel below, but first: What happens after this duel? Well, two more Yusei gear duels, Aporia briefly standing up to Z-ONE, and then, the final, big clash between Yusei and Z-ONE.

Given that Crow isn't even present for two of these duels and then barely gets more to do than stand on the side and react during the final two, I will dare to skip all that, though. Because really, Crow's occasional comments and the play-by-play he sometimes joins the others in giving when spectating a duel don't exactly contribute anything to his character. They're just there so he gets something to do and doesn't fade into the background entirely when a duel that doesn't involve him is going on. This includes the moment where he, much like the other signers, gets to give Yusei Black-Winged Dragon for the final duel, as well as the later moment when Yusei uses it, chanting in tandem with Crow as BWD arrives. And other than that and the tear-jerking moment when he later reacts to Yusei returning despite all odds, he really doesn't get any noteworthy scenes.

In other words, we are skipping straight to the end. So, where do we find Crow there?

(Oh, y i k e s.)

There's a popular post circulating around this site that goes something like "the worst thing you can do to a character is make them a cop during a timeskip". And, look. I don't think I need to tell anyone that becoming a sector security officer is an extremely jarring character choice for Crow. Crow, of all people! The guy with the face full of markers, who used to be part of a duel gang, who was introduced in the show gleefully stealing from security Robin Hood-style, and who has every reason to despise law enforcement! (Leaving aside the obvious logistical issue that Crow in no country in the world could have completed his police training in the few months between the Ark Cradle debacle and this scene. But given that 5Ds generously brushes realistic concerns like this one aside on multiple occasions, this is, funnily enough, the thing I'm also more willing to overlook here. The character dissonance, however, less so.)

I'll try to be generous and guess that the writers were aiming to convey a message somewhere along the lines of "even someone who's done bad things in the past can become an example for others" or something like it. The problem is just that Crow didn't need any such message because he was already the good guy while he was still actively stealing from security. He was the lovable rogue to a T, damn it! But this, in particular, is a surface scratch hinting at a bigger issue, I think—namely, the issue of the show's complete pivot when it came to the depiction of law enforcement after the DS arc. Because when we think back to that part of 5Ds, good security officers were the exception, rather than the rule. And this is exactly what makes Crow of all characters becoming one even weirder. He would know, would remember how security used to treat him, his kids, his friends, his brothers. And if the idea here was that, well, he's trying to improve sector security by joining it and changing it from the inside, so to speak, then guess what was missing again: Our good, old friend setup. I'm starting to feel like a broken record. So yeah, I don't think a ton of people, whether they like or hate Crow, would disagree that this is a supremely weird position to put his character in.

As we find out through 5Ds' epilogue, however, his sector security job isn't quite what Crow actually wants, though. (And thank god, because that would have been such a bizarre position to leave him in.) Instead, we're shown fairly quickly that several duelling leagues are apparently trying to scout Crow out, and that he's tempted to accept one of the offers and go into pro duelling. This is at first shown in a short scene where something like a league scout follows Crow, then later, when the whole group—sans Jack, at first—is getting together and everyone starts discussing their futures. Aside from complaining a bit about his job and upsetting Aki without meaning to, Crow doesn't get much to do here, either. For what it's worth, at least him feeling tempted to ditch the security job feels more in line with the original Crow we got than with whatever strange twist the writers were going for after this shorter timeskip.

What follows is the very last duel of the show, the long-awaited Yusei VS Jack rematch, of course. And while he doesn't get to participate in this one, Crow, much like Aki and the twins, spectates the duel and ends up having an epiphany about what he wants to do. This epiphany ends up being that he does want to turn to pro duelling, and as a reasoning, canon provides us with this:

(As is known, intense card games are the only way to make children smile.)

Personally, I wouldn't say this is a terrible or out of character reason for Crow to decide to go pro. But there's more to that I'd like to discuss. First, though, let's take a quick look at where we find Crow after the second, bigger timeskip, which is inserted right in the middle of Yusei and Jack's final duel.

(Okay, yeah, I'm a sucker for the bullet earrings.)

The quick scene Crow gets here makes it unmistakably clear that he did go into pro duelling, just like he decided during the duel in the past, and not only that, he went into tag-team duelling and apparently managed to reach world champion status with his teammates. The above scene, however, is the exact same moment he decides to leave said team, so he can instead go solo and (presumably) try to beat Jack.

Now, we can discuss this in a bit more detail. Personally, I'm extremely in two minds about Crow being one of three characters, total, who ends up becoming a pro duellist after canon. Jack seems obvious, especially given the pivot back to his more Fortune Cup-esque persona the writers did around the Red Nova episodes. Rua also makes sense, given that Jack was his idol from the start. Crow, though, feels a little more complicated. The thing is, like so many things surrounding Crow in the Ark Cradle arc, the writers gave us no indication pro duelling is something he's really passionate about before this point. Worse, they didn't even really tell us what reason he saw to participate in the WRGP with his brothers beyond "could be fun". So there isn't really a connection here. The same thing goes for the fact that he specifically talks about teaching his teammates above, which is also something he wasn't associated with all that much previously. Though this one is admittedly less egregious, because at least Crow was seen briefly coaching Aki as she prepared to take his spot during the Unicorn duel. Still, while I wouldn't go as far as saying it's an out of character choice for Crow to go pro, it still feels a little odd that he went down the same route as Jack. Personally speaking, it feels like the writers didn't quite know what to do with him. Because as I said, Jack is obvious and Rua also makes sense, and I'd say the same goes for Yusei. Then there's Ruka, who is treated about as in-depth in the epilogue as she was throughout canon, and Aki, whose "setup" for her timeskip self was done extremely hasty and last-minute, but at least it was there. Between all of them, Crow occupies a weird spot where it doesn't so much feel like he ended up on the wrong trajectory for his life, as it simply feels like there were choices the writers could have made that would have fit him much better. What with his theme of legacy and community, trying to make Pearson's dream of a place where disenfranchised children can learn good life skills a reality would have been a good fit, for example. Especially considering his close ties to the Satellite orphans he used to take care of, which, funnily enough, are reinforced one more time as canon flips back to present day and Crow is seen bidding his kids goodbye.

("Come back"? When, precisely? And what part about "literally saved the world twice" doesn't qualify you as a hero to a bunch of kids ten times over already?)

Considering canon seems hellbent on making sure we know the signers went their separate ways and that they aren't anywhere near each other by the very end of the show, though, my guess is that Crow had to end up doing something like pro duelling, in order to get him out of New Domino City and away from the friend group whose shenanigans we were so accustomed to following by that point. Of course, there's also the argument to be made that Crow staying in NDC and getting a more community-focussed ending would have also been significantly less cool than making him a kickass pro duellist with bullet earrings, which circles back to how the writing interacts with its target audience.

The only thing that follows after this, then, is the big goodbye, and with that, ladies, gentlemen, and other lovely 5ds nerds, we have successfully followed bird boy's path throughout the entire show. And what a ride it was. (I did not think this analysis would end up stretching over a whole four posts.) Time for some closing thoughts before I do my thing and suggest some rewrites that could have made all this feel more coherent one more time.

Crow's character arc, if it can even be called that, feels about as hot and cold as his and Aki's final duel with Sherry over the course of the show. His introduction is fast-paced, he's made to be likable quickly, and his integration into the main protagonist group is as quick as everything else about his narrative. Between the way he shows up out of nowhere, briefly disappears without fanfare, and is then reintroduced with even more importance before slipping into the signer group like he's always been there, it truly feels like his entire inclusion in the narrative was a last-minute decision by the writers to include that one, additional character concept Kazuki Takahashi had originally created after all. If there was one way to describe his whole arc, it would be that it's a rush. At the start, the writers are in a hurry to make him likable, then they're in a hurry to make him a signer, then they're in a hurry to give us a whole backstory for him, then they're in a hurry to give him a believable character dynamic with Aki, and at the end, they're in a hurry to pay off a character dynamic with Sherry they didn't properly set up with him. You may notice that leaves significant gaps, and the lack of balance between those gaps and the rushes surrounding them, I believe, are part of why he's such a polarising character.

Crow is integrated so thoroughly into the signer group at the end of the DS arc that, much like Aki and the twins, he gets stuck in the position of being a character that cannot simply be removed from the narrative for a longer amount of time. And this, I think, ends up biting him in the ass, because in the gaps where the writers don't rush to do something big with him, it often feels like they don't quite know what to do with him at all. So, he instead gets relegated to small side tasks, like inane duels that don't affect the plot, or becomes the person who reacts to unfolding situations in whatever manner wouldn't fit Yusei or Jack. He feels like he's the third portion of the protagonist trifecta only in theory—the status of an equal third player seems to be what the writers had in mind, yet, looking at the show, it feels like an honorary title, at best, because the writing choices made for him don't convey anywhere near the same amount of thought and effort as those of Yusei and Jack. Crow's backstory doesn't intersect significantly with that of his brothers, his dragon is introduced way too late and never given an upgrade, he never gets to clash with Iliaster until the Team New World duel, and throughout the entire WRGP and Ark Cradle arc, there isn't a single duelling victory that's solely his. People who prefer other characters over Crow like to harp on about how much screentime he gets; I argue that this is exactly what showcases how poorly the writers took care of him in many instances. For as much as Crow is plastered onto the screen and given the aesthetics of an equal player in a protagonist trio, his many appearances are as much of a curse as they are a gift, because too many of them aren't spent setting up anything meaningful or developing his character in any way. Speaking of character development: There is none. Crow exits the show pretty much exactly the same as he entered it, brief security stint aside. And, look, this need not necesarily be a bad thing. Static characters exist and they have their place in stories. It's just that in Crow's case, his utter lack of development feels like another damning indicator of the writers' cluelessness when it came to utilising him, given his weird, sort-of-elevated-protagonist. Aki, who is so often weighed against him, gets significantly more development than he does. And though Jack also ends up in almost the same place at the end of the show as he was at the start, at least he had a dip in the middle where his character was somewhat malleable and not set in stone. Crow didn't.

What we end up with, then, is a character whose concept is perfectly fine on paper, but whose execution proceeded to turn him into the one and only favourite for some, and the embodiment of piss poor writing for others. Having now looked at pretty much his entire run in the show with a bloody microscope, I end up somewhere in the middle, myself. He's a good character and much of his writing is confusing at best, utter dogshit at worst. As for what decisions in the writing room led to him turning out like this, I'd still pay good money to know them. For what it's worth, I've tried my very best to make an educated guess as to all of them.

And now, for the final time, allow me to do my very best to suggest how the issues of the Ark Cradle arc could have been addressed in order to make Crow's part in it less messy.

In previous posts, I've split up my rewrite suggestions depending on one circumstance: Whether or not Crow stays a signer. However, this time, I will deliberately forgo this, for one, very simple reason—Crow's status as a signer doesn't matter one bit for the Ark Cradle arc. Regardless of whether he has a mark or not, his duel with Sherry remains unaffected, and so does his later timeskip-self. Thus, pick your favourite, both versions work for the Ark Cradle.

Now. Onto the elephant vengeful Frenchwoman in the room. Let me repeat my favourite word in this post one more time. What the dynamic between Crow and Sherry needed, more than anything else, in order to satisfyingly be paid off during their Ark Cradle duel, was setup. There was so much time Crow spent on screen doing fuck all, and some of that time could have so easily been allocated to him interacting with Sherry in a meaningful manner. (I'm side-eyeing especially his pre-WRGP duels. Those did nothing to add to his character and could have easily been replaced with episodes where he actually gets to talk to Sherry one on one.) And if not that, then the writers could at least have done themselves the favour of letting Aki talk to Crow about Sherry, which would have arguably set up their three-way clash even better. Moreover, show us how the hell these two characters parallel each other and how they differ, damn it! The main issue with the big moment Sherry and Crow had in the duel was that Crow's faltering and his sudden, deep understanding of Sherry came completely out of nowhere. So what if they had shown some of that earlier, then? What if they had shown where the lmits of Crow's resolve lie, what could get him to doubt himself? What if they had drawn the parallel of Sherry and Crow both supposedly being characters that sometimes wistfully think about a past they never had earlier? It would have done so much to make that duel hit exactly the way it was probably meant to. As a bonus, if we had gotten Aki and Crow talking about Sherry, too, the scene of talking Sherry out of helping Z-ONE could have been a team effort, just like their card playing was. Both of them would have reasons to know different aspects of Sherry each, and both could have brought up good arguments. And this is really all this duel woild have needed to be better on the story end, I think: A solid, narrative foundation to make it obvious to us why it has to be these three characters duelling, why it could have only been this setup, why it made the most sense to let these three bounce off each other. Crow only needs that extra step to slot in better with the girls here.

As for the epilogue, I don't think anyone will be surprised to read that I would have never made Crow a cop, not even temporarily. The depiction of law enforcement 5Ds gives us during the DS arc is too damning for that. However, given the way the ending is structured, he does need some sort of occupation that feels like it's not quite the right thing so he can later change his mind about it, of course. Here, though, is where I, purely in service of Crow's character, would suggest a change that probably doesn't work with the ending's final aim of separating the 5Ds gang by hundreds of kilometres each. I would let Crow go into pro duelling first, then let him figure out that's not what he actually wanted. Crow, to me, is a character who is so intrinsically tied to community and family that turning him into a solitary pro duellist—even if he claims to do it to make the kids back home smile—feels off to me. Thus, from a character standpoint, I would let him pivot back to wanting to take care of those kids. Either through what I suggested above, letting him carry on Pearson's dream, or, which also feels fitting to me, by letting him help out Martha again and setting him up as the guy who'll take over when she can no longer run the orphanage. It's not the cool, glamorous end the show gave him, but it's what feels more like the family-focussed guy we first met in the show. It doesn't gel with the idea of permanently separating him from the other signers, though, unfortunately. To do something like that while keeping his community theme, one would probably have to send him away to shack up with Brave or something, to help orphans in other countries. But this, I think, nicely showcases the dissonance between what Crow's character writing would suggest he might do at the end, and what the show demanded he needed to do so he'd no longer be close to the others. Because my focus, as always, is only on character here. And Crow, with his personality and his writing, feels like the character who chafes the most against the idea of striking out solo, abandoning his ties to the community he was so invested in previously. To that extent, the above suggestion is the best I can provide with what we were canonically given. If we wanted to keep the canon ending he gets and actually make it make sense why he suddenly wants to be a lone wolf pro, the only thing I could suggest would be more setup for that. (Ah, there it is again. One final time.) Show Crow having some actual competitive drive, show him enjoying the whole tournament thing more than he thought he would during the WRGP. Just give us something that shows why he would want to go down this path, and why some other things that were previously important to him might not be a priority anymore. It all comes back to setup.

*Deep breath*

So, here we are, then, and this is it. This is all I could make of Crow's character writing in the entire show. To everyone who read this post in its entirety, a heartfelt thank you. To everyone who read the whole series of posts in its entirety, I'm so glad you're as insane about this show as I am, it makes me feel incredibly appreciated. Hope you enjoyed the ride, more meta posts will come eventually, just about different topics. In the meantime, see ya.

[catflowerqueen]

I know I said I was going to take a break from TSAMS, and I probably will double down even harder on that after what just happened in today's episode... but I just couldn't help myself after seeing posts from some of my mutuals and their followers.

Rant below. If you do read, please take it with a grain of salt--there is probably context I've missed since I haven't been keeping up with the series the way I used to considering how disappointed I've been with the direction the story has seemed to be heading for quite a while now.

Immediate thoughts:

Way to not tell Old Moon the whole story, Monty. Especially after hearing him tell you he has no idea who Solar is. You know perfectly well that New Moon is in this state, negatively interacting with his family, precisely because he is still trying to help another family member. Solar is family! Family who everyone else is grieving! You are intentionally leaving out tons of context, and at this point I am still half convinced you're doing it because you, personally, couldn't divorce Solar from the other Eclipse(s) who personally harmed you. So this is just a convenience, getting a Moon back who is more likely to enable you and go along with your shenanigans.

And it also makes me think that you, personally, just never got over Old Moon's death or respect his choices at all, that you would be willing to do the exact same thing New Moon is trying to do, just in a supposedly "cleaner" fashion: Kill someone else to get the loved one you personally want back. The difference being that, again, Old Moon chose to sacrifice himself so someone else could live, unlike like Solar, who was a casualty of someone else's cruel plot, and New Moon is going after people who have actually done a lot of harm and murder. Unlike New Moon, who I am pretty sure hasn't actually killed anyone yet. Or at least no one that the others didn't agree was an acceptable target.

It also reminds me of how generally off and combative Lunar has been toward New Moon this entire time. Like--I really, really don't think Lunar ever got over Old Moon's death in any sort of healthy fashion, and I do wonder if he isn't still doing some sort of weird, internalized survivor's guilt deal, since he at one time offered to be Moon's "happy" and protect him, but then just ran off with basically no warning and didn't get the chance to apologize or even say goodbye before Old Moon died.

Not to mention that Lunar knew from Solar what the likely consequences would be of trying to remove KC, but didn't think to/have a chance to warn Sun or Old Moon.

New Moon isn't Lunar's Moon... so Lunar just never bothered to really get to know him or kindle a relationship, especially since he got a shiny new sister with no pre-existing baggage to hang out with. Rather than confront or acknowledge his past with Sun and Moon beyond the fact that an Eclipse was around.

Seems like, in general, everyone else is now reaping the consequences of the fact that Moon isn't around right now to be the pillar who cleans up their messes and problems. Because that usually is his role--he works behind the scenes to quash what problems he can before they get bad, or he does the most to try and fix things and find solutions while everyone else just messes around and then blames him for not doing better when he fails.

Like... right before the first October takeover. Sun got upset when he found out Moon didn't really have a real plan to prevent the takeover from happening, and said he wished Moon had told him earlier... but did Sun even think to really ask? Or offer his own potential plan? It doesn't really seem like it! Because that was Moon's job.

It's always Moon's job.

The only times he's really gotten help are when Monty was involved--which even Monty today admitted was not always the greatest of situations--or when he had Solar.

But then he had neither, since Monty today has seemingly proven they never actually cared about New Moon as their own person. And Solar is gone.

Why are they so surprised now that Moon--either Moon--has hit his breaking point?

Also--they should have given New Moon Yahtzee to play with! Moon at least gave Sun a mirror to look at when he trapped him in that magic box, and they gave Ruin a Monopoly board and streaming abilities when he asked. Old Moon has a sunset and can't really perceive the passage of time!

But, no, New Moon gets absolutely nothing.

And they are surprised he isn't getting better? There are reasons why solitary confinement is considered such a harsh punishment! Getting no mental stimulation does things to a person, and I can only imagine that it is worse for animatronics, considering how much processing power they have and how fast their thoughts must move!

Final thoughts:

If they are using this an excuse to bring Old Moon back permanently, then I just feel like they should have done this very shortly after his death to begin with. That way it would have just been a case of a minor amnesia plotline--not murder, like even Monty admits it will be.

And, for that matter, why is it Moon who never gets a second chance after death? Lunar and Earth have "died," but they got to keep their memories. Eclipse and Bloodmoon have died, but they get both a pass for past actions--which is fair, since, again, they aren't really them--while still reaping the benefits of having those memories uploaded into them, to learn from or ignore at their discretion.

But New Moon got all the blame and consequences while getting none of the benefits, and now they just want to kill him off anyways.

It just makes me so angry and sad.

(And secretly kind of wondering if maybe we accidentally switched Point of Views to a different dimension without realizing it, and our original, beloved Sun and Moon/New Moon are still out there, somewhere, living their best lives with no idea of what the viewers are currently seeing. Though I would still be so sad for the versions we are seeing right now if that was, indeed, the case.)

...And that was quite a rant. Please remember what I asked about taking things with a grain of salt, and forgive me if I ended up being wildly inaccurate with any of my information or assumptions.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for never coming home or writing letters?

Why, hello everyone. So, I am not usually the type to talk about stuff like this, so please bear with me if this isn't as coherent or easy to read as other posts here. It's just that after a younger friend of mine told me about this forum I got interested. Y'know, went some pent of feelings, get some outside perspectives… Might be nice.

So, I (M, late teens) don't live with my family. In fact, I haven't been for years. When I was in middle-school I had a, let's call it, 'revelation' that I just didn't feel happy at home. See, I don't wanna brag, but I've always had a certain talent for sorcery, and my parents did value that. Just… Not in a way I felt comfortable with, I suppose. Thinking back, the attention and expectations they placed on me felt suffocating. I was expected to invest a lot of my time into studying the family craft, specifically dark magic, which never really was my "thing" to begin with. And when they didn't have me study, they would have me fight exhibition duels against the heirs of other clans as a show of power. For a while, it felt like I had no control over my life whatsoever. I tried to lock myself in the manor's kitchen or run off into the woods to relief some stress by baking or feeding the forest animals, but… doing that would always net me severe scolding punishment. I'd rather not go deeply into that part.

I suppose one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I took the advice of a child even younger than I was and left the manor, traveling the continent with nothing but the clothes on my back until I managed to get myself enrolled in a magic academy far away from my family home. And, I'll be honest, I never really regretted doing so. Ever since that day, I've felt so much more in control of my own life, so much more alive than I ever did when I lived under my parents' roof. I've been able to make a name for myself using my magic the way I want to and specializing in the things I like, and I feel I've really done well for myself. In all honesty,nothing I've done would bring my clan name into disrepute, quite the opposite, actually! But… I wouldn't know how my parents think about that.

I haven't been in contact with them since I've left. Not even once. I've thought of sending letters, but I wouldn't know what to write. After all, even know that I'm fairly well-known as a sorcerer in my own right, I still have no intentions of inheriting the family estate or carrying on the legacy of dark magic our clan is known for. So if I tried to contact them, what would they do? Would they ignore my letters? Would they reply with anger? Would they send an envoy to attempt to retrieve me and bring me back? Frankly, I'm scared. I could probably fight any hired sorcerers they send my way off easily enough, but… That's not what I want. I don't want to go back. There's nothing I want to do less than go back to the way things used to be before.

I guess what I'm trying to say is… I never meant to cause my family grief. But lately, I can't help but wonder if that is what I'm doing. I was the only heir, after all. I am happy with the path I've chosen in life, and I'm convinced it's what I needed to do for my own sake. But I also find myself wishing I could share the happiness I've found away from them with the people I had to leave behind… And I hate the thought that they might be hurt because of me. And sometimes I wonder if I'm not a little at fault for how things turned out after all, in a way.

So… What do you people think? Please, don't hold back. I expect your honest feedback.

~L.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

It just rubs me wrong every time whenever anyone says "Azula treated Mai as an equal". The whole point between Azula's relationship with her friends was that they were done with the power dynamics and Azula having the upper hand in it. Even if the show did a poor job showing it with Mai.

"I love Zuko more than I fear you." - Totally the words of someone who has been treated as an equal.

I FULLY disagree with the notion that the show did a poor job showing Azula didn't treat Mai as an equal. Sure, it didn't beat us over the head with the information, but it was not always that subtle.

The first thing Mai says to Azula is "please say you're here to kill me", and when talking to Ty Lee she's clearly confused as to what the hell the girl is even doing since she said the circus was her calling, getting only a "Azula called a little louder" as a response. To me, that is the show reminding us that, yes, Mai chose to join Azula willingly, but if she had said no like Ty Lee did, Azula would force her to join anyway.

There's also Mai and Azula exchanging a look after Azula says they shouldn't trade a king for a baby, and while it's never explained what was going through Mai's head at the moment, one could interpret it as Azula challenging or full on threatening Mai into putting the mission before her family.

More importantly, in The Drill, when Mai refuses to obey Azula, she says "she can shoot all the lightning she wants at me", and this time there is zero indication of it being a joke or exageration.

When Azula interrupts Mai's date with Zuko to talk to him by finding a dumb excuse to send her away, Mai is visibly pissed off and even side-eyes Azula because come on, couldn't talk to him later or politely ask Mai to give them a moment?

Finally, we have the beach, in which Mai full on screams at everyone, Azula very much included, to just leave her alone.

The show made it very clear fromt he begining that the bitter end of Azula's friendships was inevitable due to the huge power imbalance. Fans don't deny that because of issues in the writting, they do it because they fit in one of three category:

1 - Fan that likes the IDEA of Azula, but not the actual character, and is uncomfortable with the fact that she did bad things, so instead of trying to imagine a healing/redemption arc, they just pretend stuff like her using fear to keep Mai and Ty Lee under her thumb didn't happen in the first place.

2 - Fan (usually a zutara shipper) that HATES Mai and doesn't want to acknowledge things like her troubled family life and unhealthy dynamic with Azula because they cast a more sympathetic light on her and give her understandable motivations for doing bad things.

3 - The typical atla fan that cannot understand any kind of complex situation. They see Mai willingly joining Azula and ignore all the other issues in their relationship, as well as being CONVINCED, for no fucking reason, that this means Azula would not have coerced Mai into joining her had she said no like Ty Lee did. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it a million more: if Zuko didn't have the proof of his abuse at the hands of Ozai burned into his face, there'd absolutely be fans of the show claiming Zuko wasn't abused at all and that people who claim otherwise just want to justify liking an evil character.

[emerald-onion]

Things Dr. Ink Is Not Allowed To Do At The Foundation, by Dr. Dream (WIP)

Stop teaching Agent Blue swear words.

Not even in different languages.

Spike the coffee machine with laxatives is not only gross but also immoral.

Don't the SCP file as your personal notebook. How many times do I have to say this?

Try to convince everyone that SCP-404 is 'a big softie inside' is just plain suicidal.

Answer "What the fuck do you want?!" with "Your SOUL" is right out.

Stop telling everyone your paintbrush is secretly a staff member.

Stop telling a staff member they are secretly a paintbrush.

"I forgot!" is not and will never be an excuse for nearly killing all of your co-workers.

And neither is "They didn't pass the vibe check".

Nor "They shouldn't have eaten the last muffin".

Rolling up to someone with a trenchcoat and saying "I have brought the goods" isn't as hilarious as you may think.

Don't tell the new recruits that SCP-99 will adopt them if they call it 'Nootmare'.

Don't tell people that your medicine is drug.

Don't hide drugs in your medicine. Trust me, I'll know.

Showing SCP-404's shitty Undernovela's knock-off was fun one time and one time only, and that was before it destroyed our entire west wing.

Don't give Agent Blue candies.

Don't give Agent Blue honey.

Don't give Agent Blue cake-pop.

Don't give Agent Blue any kind of sugar, period.

No, "What have you done?" is a desperate plea for you to stop, not "Please continue".

There is not any SCP Dating Simulator. There has never been a SCP Dating Simulator.

Not even in Japan.

And no, this isn't a suggestion to make one.

Dr. Ink is not the God of Creation. Not even if your cult says so. Since when did you have a cult in the first place?

Stop submitting your paperwork in the back of a Kung Fu Panda DVD.

Stop stealing SCP-404's chocolate.

Stop hiding SCP-404's remote control.

Stop rearranging everything in SCP-404's containment cell by one inch to drive it insane.

Stop messing with SCP-404, I beg of you.

Drawing SCP porn on the Foundation walls is strictly forbidden.

Don't tell Agent Red this world is a shitty crossover fanfiction and everything he knows is fake.

Don't tell Agent Red that he and Agent Blue are the clones of Dr. Sans.

Yes, I know that it's possible, Agent Cross is standing right there, but stop giving him an existential crisis, please.

Don't tell Agent Blue his action figures are alive and they're silently screaming for him to break them from their inanimate prison.

Don't call Agent Blue Berrybaby specifically to piss him off.

Don't convince Agent Blue Santa Clause is real and he just needs to go to Antarctica to find him.

Seriously, leave the poor guy alone.

No spilling melted chocolate on someone and telling them it's SCP-99's goop.

Stop trying to wear high heels to make yourself taller. You broke your fucking leg, Dr. Ink.

Didn't I order you to stop messing with SCP-404? Why do I see a giant graffiti of SCP-404 in a cat hoodie in front of its containment cell?

SCP-404's dolls are not made of the remains of its dead victims. It has already been terrifying enough already, stop fanning the flame even more.

Yes, you have a bad memory. No, even that won't make you forget the large fire you start in the cafeteria 10 seconds ago.

The Foundation exists to protect the people, not a big conspiracy to control everyone's mind.

There is no such thing as a Reset button. Stop saying that every time you mess something up.

SCP-99 cannot be pacified with a lullaby. Don't tell the other scientists that. We're short on staff already.

Playing your flute at three in the morning is just plain creepy.

The Foundation does not have a dress code. Especially not 'Maid uniform'.

I know you still meet up with SCP-90 sometimes. I don't know how, but I know. For God's sake, Ink! He's a freaking body-snatching parasite!

You're absolutely not allowed to knock on the D-personals' door and tell them "It is coming. There's nothing you can do to stop it."

[siloechat]

Day 2 of the Salty Pirates challenge

This is better. I feel like I'm participating in some chips tasting and online pirating challenge.

Today we went to a local honey festival (it counts ! We needed honey). It was very small, with a lot of people out, and very very noisy. So very tiring ! I mostly kept my noise canceling headphones (not the music kind, the construction kind). People tend to get disturbed/ condescending when I keep them, but it helps. One of the vendor was nice, talking to me and not M, not infantilizing, so I mostly bought our honey at her booth. Also some delicious nougat !

I was tired when we came back, but M decided to vacuum our bedroom and all the closet and drawer to try to stop the sneezing , so I went and cleaned the bathroom sink. I've organized that sink with bathroom baskets a few months ago. It still works ! I think cleaning that sink is now the easiest cleaning task in the house because it's done in a few minutes. I don't have to stand long.

So now I'm done with my weekly cleaning tasks (not that they actually are done weekly. That's more of dream. Still, I'm happy when they get done, it always make a difference )

I haven't made any plans for the rest of the challenge, but I have a few ideas:

Seasonal tasks to finish, like bags and coat cleaning

Having the house as clean as possible before we leave on Friday. I know M will clean when I'm absent, but I don't want him to have too much to do.

Packing before Friday ! Both for seeing family, and then for the work trip.

Drawer decluterring / organizing / cleaning. I love my painting stuff but I alway have to rummage through to find anything, and the drawer is too heavy, I can barely open it myself.

Two of our lights are very cold and always hurt my eyes. Maybe something warmer would be better.

Holiday planning ! Before M's family try to convince us to do 9h of train and then back, during the annual strike, to get dissected and judged for a week. Also it's noisy. Please no.

Medical: I need to get back to physical therapy. I really, really don't want to, but it's been 2 years since the last time and my walking is... not improving. At best. So I need to. But I really really don't want to.

Craft: I have 2-3 (4 ?) glass glass (?) to paint, so we can put them on the windowsill for the Light festival in December.

Added: I want to pass the driving theory test before New Year (probably unrealistic ), so fitting a few training sessions in the next month would be... at least step in the right direction

I think that's most of it. I did a lot of organizing in Spring, so a lot of the daily work is just preventing the appartement from growing wild again.

[strigeist]

My last ask!! Camilo with a s/o who has anger/anxiety issues/ headcanons please!! :D have a good day and newyears!

~ I'm so so sorry for taking so long on this one! I've been a bit busy in my personal life. After doing some thinking I decided to only do the anxiety one, so I'm sorry about that too. It's just that even though I did quite a bit of research, I still didn't feel confident in what I was writing since I have no personal experience w/ anger issues, and considering it's something that can be harmful if portrayed wrong I think it's best if I just stick to what I know :(. I'm sorry! But I hope you understand. ALSO YES THANK YOU GOOD NEW YEAR FOR YOU TOO!! And day!! ~

Camilo with a s/o who has anxiety

Gender neutral s/o!

I know anxiety can present differently in different people, I'm referencing mostly me and the people I know.

⚠️ Mentions of panic/anxiety attacks. It's right at the end and separated from the rest with [], so if it triggers you you can just stop once you see that! ⚠️

Will never, ever, judge you for showing symptoms of anxiety. Will not make you feel bad for it or make snarky comments about it, even if you don't outright say that you have it.

Won't force you into anything you don't wanna do, but especially not if it's something that would trigger your anxiety.

If it's something you absolutely need to do (because life is like that sometimes), he'll try to help you go through it as much as he can.

(If you allow his family to know, they'll help you too in their own ways).

If you're together and someone approaches you to talk and it's making you anxious, he'll absolutely carry the conversation for the two of you and somehow manage to get you away from the situation in a very natural way so you don't have to worry about seeming rude or anything.

If you're ever too "in your head" about something that probably doesn't warrant so much worry, like something embarrassing you've done in the past, he'll try to make you see things the way he does. Never in a mean way or disregarding your feelings! Just to calm you down. Sometimes our brains blow things way out of proportion.

Will let you fiddle with his clothes, his hands, hell even his hair if it makes you more relaxed.

(As someone with curly hair, him letting you touch his hair is a proof of pure love).

This is all if you want it, of course. As I've said in the past, Camilo would never want to make you uncomfortable. If you don't want him to do something, just tell him and he'll stop and apologize. He'll find other ways to support you that don't bother you! Or you can just tell him, that works too.

[]

[]

[]

Listen, he's good at helping you through panic or anxiety attacks.

(I know they are different things, but mainly for the reasons they happen. They are quite similar in what they feel like, at least for me).

You cannot tell me no one in the Madrigal family goes through things like this. He has experience.

"Breath with me, cariño, let's try that okay?"

If following his breathing doesn't work, he'll try the counting method, you know? The one where the person counts numbers slowly and you follow their lead. (I don't know if that's the name, but that's what I call it).

Every time it happens he panics on the inside, but tries not to show it so you don't feel even worse. He knows you'll be fine but he doesn't like to see you hurting in any way.

Will also reassure you that you'll be fine, it's just a panic or anxiety attack and soon you'll be fine, and that he'll be there for you the entire time.

If you want to hold his hand because it's scary, he'll let you.

If you need space, he'll give it to you. But if you want a hug he'll also oblige.

Afterwards will try to convince you to do some more relaxing activities, if you weren't doing that before, so you can rest and recover.