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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Toons for Our Times: The Casagrandes: Four Course Catchup

I take some time to catch up with everyone’s faviorite mexican-american family with a four course meal of shenanigans.

Mexican Makeover: The thorny issue of racial identity erasure is handled via a lot of costumes, spicy food and a second Sergio, which suprisingly isn’t my own personal hell. Then again giving rusty a brother wasn’t either so there’s a precident. Uptown Funk: Carl goes full Zach Morris, minus the white privlage, and marries Adelaide to get a free train ride, then let’s his hallucinations talk him into nearly killing everyone. At least the Leprechaun in the sandbox isn’t telling him to burn things anymore. Bo-Bo Business: Hector won’t respect Bobby’s genius new ideas so Bobby sets shop at the near by hong’s market and procedes to nearly get murdered by bunnies. Dear god Anya was right. Blunder Party: Ronnie Anne and Sid host their first event as a couple, a sleepover campout on the roof with their running crew. Adilade and Carl crash it causing their sibling and cousin to send the two on a dangerous scavenger hunt. As you do. Context for what’s going on the page image under the cut.

So yeah I originally wasn’t going to add the Casagrandes to regular coverage.... but what can I say. I had way more to talk about with the recent crop of episodes than I thought, the show often airs with loud house so it increases my coverage output and most importantly.. i’ts just damn good. While still having some kinks to work out, like forgetting to use CJ, the show is just really charming and uses i’ts premise well. So yeah when the show, at least according to the wiki, so expect full coverage of both this years halloween special and the show in full when it comes back in november... and with bobby being hypnotized into thinking he’s a cat apparently.. so yeah i’d be watching anyway, so why not go all in. .So with that out of the way we’ve got a lot of ground to cover so, Golpeteo de pitter, which is spanish for pitter patter... maybe. If google translate mangled that I apologize.

Mexican Makeover:

Like with our last bit of loud house coverage, we start with the least of the episodes first. That being said this one isn’t TERRIBLE, just a waste of a good concept and something intresting to explore. It’s also a real shame given this episode is written by Lalo Alcaraz, the writer of the comic strip La Cucaracha who works as a consultant on the show and previously wrote my favorite episode of the season, Croaked!, which we’ll be talking about soon. But he seems like a great guy, but everyone dosen’t bat a thousand. This episode centers around Rosa, whose mother Mama Lupe, and her parrot sidekick Paco, coming to visit. Paco is a recolor of sergio which actually explains a LOT honestly, as I now feel Sergio is the Quaks to Paco’s Squaks.

As in the crappy recolor who dosen’t have as many skills. As you can tell I don’t like Sergio much. He’s annoying, not very funny and only rarely has his moments and also spent one episode constnatly being obnoxious to Bobby, who as we’ve discussed and will soon discuss some more, is my boy. My precious baby boy. So bullying him is the equilvent of slapping me with a dueling glove. So yeah Paco is better than Sergio, being more laid back, less obnoxious.. and voiced by, of all people, legendary cartonist and the namesake of the parrot sergio, Sergio Aragones. I grew up with the guy in middle and high school as he frequently, and I belivie still does, work for parody magazine MAD Magazine, and while I haven’t read it also did 80′s indie comic Groo the Wanderer with Mark Evainer of Garfield and Friends Fame. The guy’s really damn funny and it was a real treat to find out he’s involved here, especailly since the namesakes for the loud pets have all sadly passed, so it’s nice at least one pet namesake between shows gets to guest star. But my fanboying aside, Rosa is worried she hasn’t been making her family Mexican enough and thus goes a bit absolutley nuts. She steals the kids clothes and replaces them with various traditional mexican outfits, which is a bit psycotic, and gives us a shot of carl’s ass when he compalins about his underwear being replaced, which...

Yes thank you wayne. I’m sure even some of the 7 year old’s watching this don’t want to see a fellow 7 year old’s butt. Stop that. There’s a reason the parent show stopped the gag of having Lincoln in his underwear all the time and it wasn’t just because only chris savino thought it was funny. It’s especially creepy given after Savino’s sexual harassment, John K’s reveal of being a pedophile and whatever Dan Schinder did they refuse to talk about to the public but has ciruclated around, you TIHNK the’yd be more congizant of not showing borderline child porn. I mean it’s one thing to have a kid in underpants for a gag it’s another to have a close up of his butt. Just stop. Stop. So the episode goes as you’d expect, Rosa keeps pushing things harder without explaining herself, including trying to force the kids to speak in spanish, feeding them extra spicy food and againt eh whole replacing their clothes thing.. which\ do look nice though and we do get that blessed image of bobby up top. The kids eventually confront Rosa who reveals she just dosent’ want to give her mom a heart attack, they go along with it with Sergio feeding ronnie anne spanish, which is nice continuity as her not knowing i’ts come up before, and everyone putting on a show.. which goes horribly wrong with super spicy food understandably not being built for a 80-100 year old woman, and while i’ts nice Bobby’s buddy par, we’ll cover their episode at some point too, shows up he also heavy metals so hard it knocks her over and destroys the painting, which yeah of course. Rosa comes clean and Lupe.. is entirely fine with it and feels that culture is more in values than in what you know about it, though she will teach them a few things because knowing where you came from is still important. Also Paco returns and.. why coudln’t both he and Lupe stay. For all my issues with the episode besides Carl’s butt shot, which we’ll get to in a second, I do really like Lupe and Paco is better than sergio in every way shape and form apart from the name. just color him read and have him smother sergio in his sleep and we’re up a better parot.

Final Thoughts for Mexican Makeover: This one was eh. I saved my thoughts on the main plot for here because it IS a topic worth talking about: loss of cultural idetntity, especailly for first or second generation, as our main kids and their parents are, kids, how to ballance the cultures, what really matters.. it’s all good, deep really senstiive topics that i’m in no way qulaified to entirley judge because i’m very much white and am not going to whitesplain topics that I have no personal experince with. But I can at least say they could’ve done MORE with this. For one thing Maria was absent, and it would’ve been REALLY intresting to get her take on it since Croaked! established she didn’t really give Ronnie Anne at the very least much of a lesson in their heritage. You can’t really BLAME HER: She works a demanding job, ended up having to raise them alone, and is tired a lot. As I said i’ts a VERY complex topic that’s created some VERY brilliant works around the subject, and while i’m not asking for “Moonlight... for Kids!” I am asking you to explore something like this. How aclimated the kids are to white culture is a topic worth exploring and could’ve been a special and while yes I know, it probably would’ve been “A Very Special Episode”..sometimes you need to tackle complex topics for kids. The Proud Family was also a screwball comedy, but it tackled the civil rights movement, xenophobia and other heavy subjects from time to time.. it also thought music piracy was the root of all evil but as I said no one bats a thousand. And it wouldn’t lack jokes as Alcaraz’s career is in satire: He knows how to write jokes about heavily charged topics and be clever about it on the freaking comics page, and given The Casagrandes like it’s sister show is basically a comic strip in animated form, he has the right format tow ork with it just ultimately becomes instead the cliche “person is coming time to hide everything we’ve been doing plot”, which has never been that good and is even worse on top of a more interesting idea. I don’t expect the show to be super deep all the time but I expect better than broaching a clearly difficult subject and not really giving it any weight.

Uptown Funk: Now we’re past the one I was eh on because I knew how it’d turn out, and somehow got even less on board as it wasted a good concept and good ideas, and to the one out of the four I was most pumped for. And of all things it was a CARL episode. I passingly mentioned last time I didn’t like Carl, and that opinon’s started to change. I’m still not a huge fan, his voice is grating and he STILL hasn’t given up on Lori seasons later after Clyde long has and the other show long regonized this was a bad idea. Buuut i’ve come to realize he has his moments, with Monster Cash, which i’ll cover very soon for Halloween Havoc, and this very episdoe which is utterly fantastic. Though part of that is also the supporting cast, who were the reason I was pumped. I talked abotu the Changs Breifly in my Operation Dad review but since Adalaide and Stanley are more promenent here and Becca will be, if not in person, in Croaked!, i’ll gladly dive into them. The Changs are the Casagrandes next door neighbors and EASILY one of the best parts of the show. A lovely interacial nuclear family, the four are all really likeable and distinct. I’ve talked about Sid before, so we’ll save more of that for in a bit. Stanley her dorky dad voiced by Kim Jeong who works as the subway conductor for Great Lakes City. He’s just a treat, in both sense of hte word, and really sweet interacting with his daughter and has a tendency to make small apperances due to Ronnie Anne and Sid riding the subway wherever they need to go. As i’ve said it’s nice to see Ken Jeong get to play a goofy, normal-ish dad and be funny without having to either play an over the top lunatic, weirdo or asshole. I love community but Chang could be a lot but this Chang is alright.. and probably dosen’t speak to his community college student brother that often for his family’s saftey. He does have Rabi Chang, his other brother over a lot though. Look if Teen Titans go can be jammed into the same multiverse as ok ko and steven universe, this show can take place in the same unvierse as community.

Becca is stan’s wife and the head zookeeper at the zoo as well as the runner of their various shows, voiced by melissa joan hart and while not around as mcuh as her husband, is still a delight and it’s a delight to have clarissa back. Also together with her husband they make one hell of a couple to get sandiwthced between.. and no shame there, and yes i’m aware they have kids, i’d be happy to help raise them. I”m no asshole.

Anyways speaking of those kids, we lastly have Adalaide, the star of this show and an adorable 6 year old and as Sid calls her “A sass bucket” which is accurate both for 6 year olds in general, and for this one, though like most kids her age she flips from being adorable to entirely blunt when warranted. She also has a Frog, named Froggy II. We’ll get into what happened to Froggy I and how she met Froggy II in October.

So yeah two of my faviorite side characters, I consider sid main, PLUS one of my other faviorites Vito in a supporting roll. What’s not to love? As for the plot Carl brushes off Adalaide, because he’s a little jerk festival, but changes his tune when he overhears Stanley offering to have Adilaide join him on the train even see the control. Carl being a fanboy for trains among many other things which I shall list now: Things Carl’s a Fanboy For: 1. Money 2. Petty Schemes 3. Zack Morris 4. The Ladies 5. AC Slater 6. Luchadores 7. Trains.

He naturally has his eyes light up like a christler buliding and given numbers 2 and 3 on the list quickly comes up with a scheme to get that train ride, since Stanely offered her a plus one. Granted he could’ve PROBABLY just asked Stanley for a ride and being the upstanding guy he is, and given Carl’s also a train nerd and stanley is their king, he would’ve said yes, but this is the same boy who thought his adult cousin’s same aged girlfriend would want to go out with him when said girlfriend lives in a house with at least 3 girls close to his age instead she could set him up with. The boy is more of a short term planner, like most schemers in fiction really, he sees the dollar signs like eddy from ed edd n eddy and has some good ideas, but not the more obvious solutions that aren’t as scheme based around him. I swear if this kid didn’t have a moral center this would be him in 50 years

I mean the only reason the boy hasn’t used sharks or explosives is because his parents and grandparents won’t’t let him.

Anyways Addie is skepteical for about 5 seconds and my one real complaint about the episode is it felt like she was genuinely skeptical, and playing him slightly with their games.. but it turns out nope she just genuinely bought it. But as smart as she is she’s also only 6, and her being adorably trusting works just as well. So they play games. They have a tea party, with carl wearing a truly glorious peacock that I guarnatee sid has worn both for playing with her sister and just to feel fancy. They then play with Froggy.. which gets uncomfotable as Adaladie forces Carl to kiss him, and then basically goes full on “NOW KISS” when it fails to turn froggy into a prince and Froggy runs because he wisely dosen’t want to make out with Carl, and is omly passable and not disturbing instead because she’s 6 and dosen’t know better. They then play chase froggy, which Carl wins but gets flies thrown at him in hte process so does he really? They get to their final game superheroes, with carly playing his faviorite el falcone.. but also being the hostage while Adalaide saves him because this is 2020, she don’t need to be no damsel in distress. And this to me is why the episode works.. Carl IS a huge jerk here, manipulating a younger child who just wants to be his friend to get a train ride he could’ve gotten just by asking her.. but he gets put through the ringer, and most of his “humilation” is stuff that isn’t that bad: Tea is alright, there’s no shame in wearing makeup or a veil, and being rescued by a woman is awesome. It’s just Carl’s own baby’s first toxic masuclinity that makes these situations minus kissing froggy uncomfortable, so it adds to it as Addy’s doing nothing wrong really and any pain on carl’s part is an accident on hers. She’s just an imaginatiee little lady and he’s jsut a jerk. But they pair well together his underserved ego with her adorablility and creativity and as we’ll see smarts. Part of the reason I was so excited is their one real scene togehter in monster cash, when Carl is throiwng everyon’es money back at them which is also the best bit of the episode and we’ll get to that when we cover it her response is a stern “Don’t you even dare” and he hands it back to her because you don’t mess with Addy.

Addy then brings up pretend marriage and while Carl has his first , and probably not last, panic attack over comitment he does realilze this can be used and gets his train ride over it, with the two taking Froggy along as their baby. But being Carl, he’s not ready for marriage to a strong judge on the supreme court who makes him change the diapers and humilaties him in public, whcih i’d be more upset about if again he didn’t deserve it. We also have VITO! Local itallian, the Mercado’s best customer and Hector’s only friend. He also has his two winer dogs with him which.. yes. Just yes. And they have matching hats and sweaters because Vito is the best. Hedecides to toss froggy and book it for the train car. Adalaide realizes she’s been played and is understandably pissed but sadly, needing to find her friend her husband threw, dosen’t storm into Stanley’s conductor car and throw him off the train.

Instead Carl geeks out with Stanley over the train, which means he probably is meant to marry into this family, and Stanley’s glart awards. When Stanley’s called away to deal with the frog fracas, Carl is left told not to touch anything. So the obvious happens.. Carl hallunciates a bunch of pre school level choo choos who tell him to press the button. I love .. everything about this. It’s just pure hilarity and insanity and I’m here for it and a really creative, and insane gag and a nice take on the shoulder devil trope.

Naturally Carl, being Carl, presses the big button which turns on the ac and then blasts Stan’s train mix. Which sadly isn’t just this over and over and over and over again.

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With Carl possibly banned from trains for life he naturally turns to his wife for help, who is none to happy with his bullshit, and not willing to help him because why would she? But Carl.. genuinely apologizes. It’s why I mentioned he has a moral center. Unlike say Zack morris 80% of hte time or Eddy from Ed Edd N Eddy at his worst, Carl can FEEL human emotions like guilt, and while he does need Addy’s help to not get in massive trouble, you can tell he genuinely feels bad about hurting her and is only asking because she’s his only hope and for the sake of the various passengers who if she dosen’t step in will go off the rails on a crazy train, she agrees. Turns out though Addy is pretty badass on top of being adorable, and uses Froggy II as a grappling hook, then turns out to have inherited her dad’s knowledge of trains, which was foreshadowed earlier as she said she’s gone with him a lot and was bored at his offer and won two time junior glart awards.. which given that likely includes teens and tweens, is Valeria Richards levels of acomplished. God damn kid. Kudos. Stanley gets understandably mad at carl But Addy covers for him and since she saved her dad’s awards, Carl can live.. and come back sometimes. Carl, first through his action figure then himself apologizes for being a jerk toa ddy and manipulating her.. a genuine one that shows he means it and finds she’s pretty cool. Gues this marriage CAN be saved. And so we end this episode as you’d expect.

No.. for one thing i’td be leprechaun-train monstrosity. For another the happy couple team up as superheros and thwart froggy being hit by a train , who greatfully smooches carl who, having grown, takes it in stride. Happy end

Final Thoughts: I love this one. It was funny, intresting and had carl develop as a character while fleshing addy out and giving us some great stanley stuff. It made having a jerk as the protagnist here work and made me go from begrudgingly liking carl to actuallyl iking him. while he’s pretty terrible here he suffers for most of his actions and learns from it, and he and Adelade ahve a great dynamic that we thankfully do indeed see again this very marathon. But first. IT’S BOBBY TIME.

Bo-Bo Buisness It’s my first episode starring Bobby on this blog and i’ts been TOO long and there will be more to come I promise. As i’ve made no secret of Bobby is my faviorite character here, and as you can tell that’s a tight race, and is just.. great here. The move to the city fleshed him out by giving him drive with his desire to run the mercado, franchise it, and go to buisness school to do all of it properly, while keeping his loveable sweetness, stupidity and relationship with Lori which has gone from deeply unhealthy to awwwwwwwww.

So naturally I was on board for another Bobby Bonaza, and this one like most of his eps is pretty good: This time around it focuses on Bobby’s hard work ethic and youthful energy..and it leading him AWAY from the mercado. Bobby tries setting up free wifi and a table like a cafe in the Mercado, but Hector flatly refuses and refuses anthing Bobby comes up with, citing his 30 years running the place sucessfully, while Bobby cites his less than a year of it and his book of ideas, though Hector refuses to budge. And what I like here is that while hector IS still the bad guy here, it’s not in a one dimensional “Jerk for the episode’ way this show’s sister episode tends to fall into. Or treating a character being a jerk like their the wronged party, or.. you get the idea. Point is hector has SOME points: He has run a small buisness in a huge city for 30 years, beating out gentrification, racisim, big buisness and other threats to run at thriving mercado, even with another market across the street. He also owns a sizeable apartment with room for two diffrent families, 5 adults, 6 kids, a dog and an asshole, and his wife is super for the building as a whole. He’s done MARVELOUSLY for himself and deserves to be proud and his stubborness likely comes from just how much he’s been able to acomplish while others fell around him. However.. Bobby is still sympathetic. It’s very clear working here is his dream job: His plan for his life is to expland the place into a franchise and run it himself one day, he’s the clear sucessor and Hector wont’ be around forever.. probably for a LONNNG time still, and his ghost will probably haunt the place with Rosa’s scolding him, but since ghosts can’t own property probably, someone has to take over. Bobby is his clear sucessor and his ideas aren’t bad.. poorly exceuted in this case, but not bad. As we’ll see in a bit the table idea can work, bobby just didn’t think it through and Hector could’ve HELPED HIM with it and as we’ll see most of the ideas Bobby ends up doing elsehwere are just common sense for this day and age and the one that isn’t is the one that does him in. But Hector, likely seeing any change as a threat to his bottom line and his legacy, rejects him out of hand. H’es likely scared that his protege can do BETTER, or worried that one wrong move could cost him his life’s work. I also find this ironic since a few episodes ago, though I still need to see it, Bobby himself had the same problem letting go and letting someone else control the buisness with his sister and cousins running the place while he had his anniversary with Lori. Bobby DESERVES to be given his shot.. and so when he decides to quit the mercado in a huff and take his table and his ideas with him.. you agree with him. Sure he’s leaving the family legacy.. but if Hector wont let him make it his own or appricate how much fucking work he does or love he has for the place, then what legacy is there? That got heavy. We get a great joke next as bobby makes a metaphor about the dinosaurs.. then wonders what happened to them and like me on any given day stops to google it.. and since he uses a laptop unlike me and my desktop computer or phone, and his table, he inadveratly sets up a table outside.. which fixes the problems with his idea, if by accident and impresses Mr.Hong the owner of a nearbye market who could use a fresh faced go getter like bobby and hires him right on sight and agrees to start putting his ideas in.

And the wifi table.. is a huge sucess and putting it outside gave the customers more room, so it fixes the one flaw in his plan, and serving out cafe and snacks I can’t prounounce or spell properly, bobby shows his idea WOULD have worked: instead of creating loiterers it simply gives customers like Vito, who pretty much lives at the Mercado anyway so why not, a place to sit, eat and check their email and stuff, and bobby’s a good enough salesman he can convince them to eat and given the mercado already has a customers only policy on toilets.. they could’ve just made the table purchase only, and once per hour, and their regulars would’ve lapepd it up. Hector refuses to accept this though and stews and drives sergio and carl away.. which yeah if you can out asshole Sergio, you may be the bad guy here. The two feud over dinner to their family’s confusion, and to Rosa’s annoyance and dope slaps when she spills her hard worked on food over their petty sniping but bobby’ sstar continues to rise with a music video for hongs including that bit seen above, rapping and just.. whatever the fuck that video was it was the third best rap in nick history behind that “nnnnnnick” rap and this.

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So yeah with the comeerical, Hongs has tons of customers, and Hector stews more. However things can’t be good forever, as the last 4 years have proven they can be bad for an especially long time but good? Sadly no, as Bobby gets what he always wanted: The keys to the store.. maybe not the store he wanted but still and gets to run hongs solo. Sadly though Bobby ends up fucking up, letting people bring their pets which wrecks the place, and ends up with bobby getting swarmed by an ever multiplying batch of bunnies.

As Bobby is cuddled to death, his exact words, Hector finally relents and saves the boy from literally drowning, and the two get the rabbits out.. but well with social media and all that hong knows what happen and bobby’s fired. But back at the Mercado, Hector rehires bobby, and genuinely apologizes. I do feel it comes a bit quick.. but I guess after your grandson almost got bunnied to death, you rethink your life choices. Bobby admits he was in over his head while Hector genuinely admits Bobby has good ideas and he was being a stubborn jackass and decides he can use them after all. Starting with the commerical where the two perform a nice mexican song, the whole family adorably dresses up like various mercado items as seen at the veyr top and we also get this.

Yes, yes to all of this. And we’re out.. for a moment then back in but you get it.

Final Thoughts for Bo Bo Buisness: While not the best Bobby episode, that would be the one that introduces Par and again i’ll get to that one, this one is still pretty good. While I do feel Hector turns around a bit quick, otherwise it’s funny enough and has enough character stuff with bobbby, even if i’ts mostly just from knowing him in this series to work out. I”m not ANTI-nonsense episodes, I just don’t want them there when ther’es clearly a way heavier issue your steping around. This wasn’t the BEST the series has done comedy wise but it was fun enough. Alright one more...

Blunder Party:

And we end on another pretty good one. And oddly for this show it’s the only Ronnie Anne focused one of the four. Usually she’s dead center but it seems the series is getting comfortable enough, much like it’s parent show, to ease out of focusing on just one character as the viewpoint and letting the others breathe. Still this was a good un and let’s talk about it.

It’s Party Time and Ronnie and Sid are having a sleepover on the roof. Their first party of a couple.. i’m so proud of by baby gays.. or gabies as I call them. I mean.. yes i’m not subtle with my shipping but they act less like close friends and more like two tiny lebisan awww factories. Anywho the whole crew’s here, which as with a lot of things this episode let’s talk about them: Casey, Nikki and Sameeer were introduced in a loud house I haven’t seen and naturally carried over to the show proper, showing up when Lincoln visted in an episode I will defintely cover at some point, and accepting Ronnie Anne wasn’t a born city kid. They have neat designs, are nicely diverse, and while lthey do need some fleshing out, given that like Lincoln’s own friend team squad they show up in a good chunk of ronnie anne episodes, we got time for that so we’re good. There’s also new addition Laird, the school’s own screech powers, and your standard awkward dork whose not that great. So yes even this group has a waste of a character, though he’s not AS bad as rusty or useless as Liam, just feeling a bit less essentail than Ronnie Anne’s running crew, who match her general vibne, and Sid whose her soulmate.

But as the pizza arrives via Sergio, because he has to be useful at least once, our heroes soon find the party crashed by Great Lakes City’s newest power couple: Carl and Adelaide! Looking like their fucking team rocket. Seriously I had other options for this episode, including bobby sliding around on his back comically, so it says something just how great that iamge is and how fucking gloriously smug yet awesome they look.

The two want to join and even outdo the big kids at stretcing and flinging pizza, but as many little siblings like myself know all too well, the big siblings don’t want you there. I can’t count the number of times I wanted to hang with my brothers friends, but he refused frome lementary all the way up to high school. It was maddening. SO I sympathize with them, but i’ve grown tor ealize grown up kids want to have their own time and fun so I sympathize with both parties: Carl and Addy just want pizza and games and to hang with the big kids and Ronnie Anne and Sid just want to host a party as a couple without watching their siblings.

However Carl forces a compromise.. by using his special mood.. whining loudly and summoning Rosa.. whos eriously just.. teleports behind the kids. I thought only Lucy could do that in this unvierse. Respect.

Rosa however is resonable. While she dosen’t want the kids to be excluded, and it’s understandable and nice of her: The kids just wan’t to feel included and Rosa is resonable enough to say they will have to leave eventually wehn it’s time for bed. A fair compromise. Also i’d wonder why Adelaide is here but I assume the Chang Parents had her come over there, which Rosa being the lovely person she is agreed to. I didn’t get into her above but I do like Rosa a lot as a character as she’s a resonable authority figure.. but liable to slip into her own foibles, and is kind and loving with her family if strong and strict when she needs to lower the boom. Mostly on Hector who i’m amazed survived last episode and getting his own grandson to leave in one piece.

But yeah I mean I can only imagine what’s going on there...

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Also sex obviously, but since I obviously can’t and won’t show you that, have this video to jodeci’s freak n you instead and let your imagination fill the blanks if you want.

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I will use this song any time I can. Anyway, Sid being the peach she is tries to convince Ronnie anne all is not lost. Earlier she used a metaphor saying how they had all the perfect ingredents like a smore, and now adds pizzza.. which ot be fair a pizza smore, but using bagles or something sounds great, but pizza on a smore sounds like my own personal hell.. though Sid likes it so i’ll let it live.. for now. That’s also why Sergio is alive. FOr now.

But even sid has a limit and the power couple soon break those: An attempted scary ghost story session goes bad as they break poor sameer by predicting eveyr story he has even the one the poor kid wings, and he and his prehinsile hair are sad. Cheer up kid at least you can probably go live on Krakoa at some point. Free health care, free housing, living on a giant paradise. Good stuff.

The two then ruin an attempted dance party, which unlike the above which was just bad timing, this time their just obnoxious as addy wnats to ballet, and Carl wants to... put it to his butt whle playing fart noises. Okay for starters.

Secondly if he wanted to do that he could’ve got a cd of Nickleback cheaper and no one would’ve noticed.. then again they might of thought the poor boy had Dihera. Somehow this isn’t the last draw. Nikki, being a real one, holds a gross drink contest which carl spits out on the crowd.. which really WHAT DID YOU ALL EXPECT. This is how those things end. WIth spit up and fury.

Anyways enough is enough, so our ambigiously gay duo hatch a plan and send the little kids on a scavanger hunt. So while the Ronnie’s Running Crew have fun, and spot bobby and his best buddy par and bobby flop on some mangos and slide around on mango juice all episode as a result, the dream team work on getting that list done. From getting one of Hector’s nosehairs to Mr. Nakamura’s faviorite sweatervest (which takes a while) , to Carlota’s diary they do it with flair. Of note is the two having to steal Sergio’s crackes.. and nearly getting murdeered by the parot who seriously looks like he’s about to skin a child.. thankfully when HE does a shining by crashing through the door, he just gets stuck so no child murder tonight. Horay! Well until Carlota finds out her diary missing then this happens.

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But things get dire when the kids think they see the smaller kids get stuck in par’s truck. Thankfully bobby knows where his best friend is at all times, because he’s consdierate and knows where he’s headed next, and the kids end up following him, while Sameer stays behind to distract with his hair puppets since Rosa wants to little ones to go to bed.

Sid and Ronnie anne and co head to the dump , shenagins insue and they think they lost their sibling and cousin.. only to find them, the two having gotten a mango that looks like Vito and won.. and Sid and Ronnie apologizing and admitting their scam. In a nice bit though while Carl gets upset, Addy quickly points out they DID ruin their fun, and crash the party, and Carl begrudingly admits he’s wrong. Again, keep them married show. Carl needs Addy to keep him honest and Addy needs carl to hide the bodies of her enmies. They make a good pair, just like their big sis and cousin.

Anyways, Ronnie Anne and Sid ask to have the kids for just a bit longer to repair them and again this is why I repsect Rosa. She finds out the kids disobeyed her or at least found a loophole but isn’t mad and gets both sides learned from it. Our kidlets get a giant ass smore for their heroic efforrts, Nikki returns Carlota’s diary in secret to avoid their deaths while Sergio is arrested for attempted murder of two minors. A good night all around. Bobby joins in to close out, which isn’t met with any resitance because who dosen’t love bobby, while Hector wakes up to the vito mango and wonders what happened to him.. okay apparently Vito’s been turned into a non-sapient piece of fruit before and I want details show. Final Thoughts Finally: A pretty good one. Carly and Adleadie continue to prove to a hell of a combo, whie the proven dream team of Sid and Ronnie Anne work well off their younger counterparts. It overall leads to a fun episode with lots of great gags.. and also bobby sliding around on his back comically like he’s a goddamn roomba and I am hear for it. Just overally really good stuff and a really fun plot. This really feels like stife of the party done right. Both sides screw up but make up instead of one just getting their way because protaganist. And overall this batch of episodes was really damn good and I look forward to watching the series reguarlly from now on. Until then, just one more day then this blog gets all spooky! SO stay tuned, stay safe and go team venture! Play us out nickleback! WAIT WHY DID i SAY THAT NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO

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vfdbaudelairefile13 · 5 years

Text

Chapter Forty-Two:

The One Where the Baudelaires are Put to Work

That day, Violet Snicket was relieved that her father had finally arrived home, although, she didn’t say much to him. She was afraid if she started a conversation with him she would start asking about VFD and his involvement. She would ask him a million questions and expect answers to each one. But she couldn’t, not yet at least, she needed to compile every scrap of evidence she could before she questioned him. Why? Because she feared that after she interrogates him, he will make learning VFD information a lot harder than it already is. She wasn’t going to let that happen.

Violet sat across from her father as they both silently ate. You could cut the tension between the two of them with a knife.

“You okay, sweetie?” Lemony asked after a while of the awkward tension.

“Hmm mmm,” Violet said not really saying anything to her father.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just glad you’re home.” Violet muttered rolling her eyes. “Finally,”

“Honey…” Lemony began.

“I know, you’re just doing your job. Putting food on the table.”

Lemony frowned. He didn’t know what was wrong with his daughter and why she was so moody. Violet didn’t look up at him, afraid that she’d crack under pressure. Neither of them said anything for another couple moments of pure tense silence.

“So have you found her?” Violet asked.

“Huh?”

“My mother? Have you found her yet? Are you even close? Have you even bothered since the last time I asked?” She asked impatiently.

Lemony was taken aback by his daughter’s tone, he sighed and nodded his head in response.

“Really?” She asked not believing a word he was saying. “Can you explain what you’ve learned?”

“Violet…”

“Well…?”

He sighed again. “I rather not get your hopes up,”

“Of course not. Makes sense,” Violet replied in the same impatient tone as before. She absolutely hated how he had a lie ready at his disposal.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yep. Definitely.”

He frowned. He knew this was a lie. He knew his daughter more than she would like to admit. That’s what happens when you’ve lived with just one other person for their entire life. He didn’t understand why she was in a mood though. Was it because she desperately wanted to learn about her birth mother or was it because he was absent more often these days. His stay at Lake Lachrymose had gone on longer than he had anticipated at first. But what could he have done? He had to help the Baudelaires. Maybe he should’ve called her and allowed her to know that he was fine.

He opened his mouth to say something but as he did, the phone rang. Both Snickets looked at the phone. Lemony stood up before Violet had a chance to. “I got it,” he said as she rolled her eyes. He took the phone and went into the other room.

“Yes, Jacquelyn.” He answered knowing damn well who was on the other end of the phone call.

“Now, how’d you know it was me?”

“You’re the only person who calls,”

“Damn. That’s truly sad, Snicket. You should get out more.”

“Ha. Funny,” Lemony replied in a sarcastic tone as he rolled his eyes. “So...let me guess Olaf is after the kids again.”

“When isn’t he?”

“Good point,” Lemony muttered. “What do we know about his plan this time?”

“Nothing. We just know he has found them,”

“How the fuck is he getting this information before me?”

“Honestly, that’s something I’d like to know,” Jacquelyn replied annoyed. “I mean I work for the man who takes them to their guardians and he somehow knows before me…”

“You don’t think Poe works for him, do you?”

“No...no...the man is incompetent but definitely not evil.”

“Now are you sure?” Lemony asked.

“Yes. It would take a functioning brain to pull that off,” Jacquelyn pointed out laughing.

“Okay. Good point.” Lemony said convinced. “So where are they now?”

“Paltryville,”

“Of course…”

“Why do you say it like that?” Jacquelyn asked concerned.

“...I’m not welcomed in Paltryville...for several reasons. One is that they think I helped start a certain fire,”

“Ah. Should I send myself or Larry.”

“No!” Lemony cried panicked. “No offense, but the last time that I allowed you to send yourself to the Baudelaires’ location, Dr. Montgomery died. And the last time Larry beat me to their location, he was kidnapped by Olaf and he could’ve been killed.”

“Are you going to keep using Dr. Montgomery’s death against me?”

“Yes. Until you can explain to me why disguising yourself as a fucking statue was a good idea I am going to use that against you.”

“Suit yourself, Snicket,” Jacquelyn said. “You’ll need to get on the next train to Paltryville.”

Lemony looked to Violet who wasn’t paying attention. “Ummm…” he said. “I’m gonna need a day or two,”

“What?”

“I have an a...prior commitment. I have to...ummmm...research something. Shouldn’t take me long,”

“But the Baudelaires…”

“They’re resourceful kids,” Lemony said immediately. “They can survive a day or two without me.”

“If you’re sure, Snicket,” Jacquelyn said after sighing. “Just let me know if you want me to go for you...cause I can.”

“Again...no. Stop suggesting that,” Lemony said chuckling a bit. “Just keep me updated if you can. Surely there’s a VFD agent in Paltryville that can give us information.”

“Doubtful,”

“Just give me a day or so,” Lemony said as Jacquelyn bid him goodbye.

Lemony walked back over to Violet. “You know what, I’m sorry. You’re right,”

“What?” she asked confused.

“I haven’t made looking for your mother a priority in the last couple of weeks. That’s going to change.” He said as he watched her eyes light up. “I am going to find her, Violet. I promise.” He said.

As he watched a smile appear upon his daughter’s face, he could feel a ping of guilt in his heart. He knew that eventually, he would have to explain to Violet what had happened to her mother. When he told her that he was going to find her, what he meant was that he was going to figure out who stole Beatrice from Violet forever. He didn’t want to drop this piece of information on his daughter without closure. He didn’t want her to wonder who would kill her mother. He wanted to be able to have all the answers to every question she would have about her mother’s death. So he had decided to take the next day to focus on figuring out the exact cause of the Baudelaire fire.

_____________________________________________________________________

Morning is an important time of day because how you begin your morning can often tell you what kind of day you’re going to have. If you wake up to a breakfast made by your father, your day will probably be decent. If you wake up in a mansion to a butler serving you blueberry pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice, your day will probably be wonderful. Now if you wake up in a lumber mill to the sound of metal pots banging together, you know your day will be horrid.

You and I, of course, cannot be too surprised that the Baudelaire orphans’ first day at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill was a horrid one. The Baudelaire orphans did not expect a nice, hot breakfast or a butler, especially after their dismaying arrival. But never in their most uneasy dreams did they expect the cacophony that awoke them.

“Get up, lumber workers! This is your new foreman, and you’ve got a new shipment of logs to turn into flat wooden boards!” A rough voice yelled over the loudspeakers.

“What’s that horrible noise?’ Klaus asked groggily.

“Tympana,” Sunny muttered, which meant, “It sounds like someone banging metal pots together…”

“Get up, you lazy, smell things!” the foreman’s voice yelled. “Time for work, everybody!”

The children sat up and rubbed their eyes. All around them, the employees of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill were stretching and covering their ears at the sound of the pots. Phil, who was already up and making his bunk neatly, gave the Baudelaires a tired smile.

“I believe everyone has a good side. But I have to admit, our last foreman was a lot nicer,” Phil commented to the children.

“What happened to your last foreman?” Klaus asked wearily.

“Must’ve quit in the middle of the night,” Phil said cheerfully. “It happens a lot around here,”

Klaus and Sunny looked at one another uneasily.

“Hurry up! It’s log day!” the foreman’s voice yelled.

“I hate log days,” a mill worker muttered.

As the children followed Phil and the other workers across the dirt-floored courtyard to the lumber mill, which was a dull gray building with many smokestacks sticking out of the top. The two children looked at one another nervously. Except for one summer day, back when their parents were alive, when the Baudelaire siblings had opened a small lemonade stand in front of their house, the orphans had never had jobs, and they were quite nervous.

The Baudelaires walked closely next to Phil into the lumbermill and saw that it was all one huge room, filled with enormous machines. Klaus looked at a shiny steel machine with a pair of steel pinchers like the arms of a crab and hoped that he wouldn’t be asked to handle it. Sunny examined a machine that looked like a big cage, with an enormous ball of string trapped inside, and tried to think of what a machine like that could be used for. Both children stared a rusty, creaky-looking machine that had a circular saw-blade that looked quite jagged and fearsome. Sunny wondered if the saw was sharper than her teeth, while Klaus anxiously tried to remember anything and everything he had read about lumber mills.

All the while, the noise from all of the machines were starting to disturb Klaus. Klaus began to whimper a little as he put his hands over his ears and winced in pain. “It’s too loud in here,” he said to Sunny as Sunny nodded her head at her brother.

“Now grab a debarker and start debarking!” the foreman yelled from his booth. The foreman wore a gas mask that completely covered his face, which seemed odd to the children. He also wore a stained uniform that completely covered his arms and legs, Klaus suspected it was to cover up a certain tattoo. Sunny noticed that his shoes had been taped shut instead of being tied, which seemed rather unusual for anyone to do. The foreman turned his head towards the children. “You too, lumber midgets!”

“We’re not midgets...we’re children,” Klaus replied as he stood in line with Sunny to get a debarker.

“Children, midgets, do I care?” The foreman said in a muffled voice.

“Oh, I love log days!” Phil exclaimed.

Klaus took a debarker from the dispenser and looked down at it. “I don’t think this is safe for even me to be handling,” he said cautiously to Sunny.

“Bite!” she exclaimed, which probably meant, “That’s okay. I don’t need one. I’ll just bite the logs.”

As the children followed the other workers around one of the trees, Phil showed Klaus how to use his debarker. He began scraping it against the tree, filing the bark off like you would file your nail. Klaus nodded and tried to imitate Phil’s actions.

Even though Phil had described the rigors of working at the mill, it had certainly sounded difficult. But seeing that he was an optimist, he still sugar-coated just how difficult the job would be, so the actual work turned out to be much, much worse. For one thing, the debarkers were adult-sized and it was difficult for Klaus to use it. He could scarcely lift it and even when he could lift up to the tree, he had to push with all his might to get it to file the bark from the log and even then only tiny pieces of bark would fall from the tree. He was in a mixture of jealousy and amazement as Sunny climbed atop the log and began to saw away at the bark with her teeth. She made it look so easy.

To the Baudelaires’ misfortune, once a tree was finally cleared of bark, there would be another tree waiting for them. Which meant they would have to start this process over and over again. But if you asked the Baudelaires what was the worst thing about working at the lumber mill would be the deafening noise. Since Klaus had to use two hands to move his debarker against the wood, he had absolutely no way of blocking all the terrible noises from his eardrums. So the entire time he felt overstimulated and he continued to wince in discomfort. He longed for a break so he can go outside and maybe get a few minutes of peace and quiet. Finally, as the children finished their third log (noticing that all the other groups of workers were at least on their fourteenth log), the foreman began shouting over the loudspeaker. “Lunch break! Lumber slowpokes!”

Klaus grabbed his baby sister and sat down where the rest of the workers were sitting. He started picking pieces of wood out of his sister’s hair noticing that she was completely covered in sawdust. He could only imagine how terrible he looked as he began to ruffle his hair in hope of getting all the sawdust out.“I hate log days,” Klaus muttered to Sunny as one of the mill workers replied, “Told ya!”

“Otii!” Sunny replied, which meant, “We finally get a break.”

“Lunch break! Five minutes!” the foreman yelled as he threw two pink squares at the children. Klaus somehow caught it and looked down at the small pink square that was in his hands.

“It’s gum...this is gum!” he shouted not believing his eyes. “Gum isn’t lunch! Gum isn’t even a snack!”

“Tanco!” Sunny yelled in agreement, which meant, “And babies shouldn’t even have gum, because they could choke on it!” Klaus was quick to translate.

“You’d better eat your gum,” Phil said, moving over to sit next to the two children. “It’s not very filling, but it’s the only thing they’ll let you eat until dinnertime.”

“Can’t we use our wages to buy some sandwiches?” Klaus asked still staring at the two pink squares in his hands.

Phil began to chuckle a bit. “Kiddo, we’re not paid in wages. We’re paid in coupons.”

“I got one for 20% off a shampoo at Ed’s Haircut Palace,” one mill worker replied.

“I got a free refill of iced tea,” another replied.

“I got ‘Buy two banjos, get one free’. Of course, I can’t buy any banjos ‘cause I don’t have any money. Just coupons.” a third mentioned.

“That...that can’t be legal,” Klaus replied in utter disbelief.

“It’s not like we have a constitution,” Phil replied.

“If this place is so miserable, why don’t you leave?” Klaus asks.

All at once, like zombies or brainwashed members of a cult, the mill workers stood up and in a monotone chant, they replied, “Lucky Smells is our life. Lucky Smells is our home.” They sat back down as if nothing they had just done was out of the ordinary. Klaus looked down at Sunny with a worried face.

“We need to find those answers and run away,” he said as Sunny nodded.

“Book!” she replied, which probably meant, “Didn’t the mill have a library?”

Klaus nodded his head as he picked Sunny up and walked out of the noisy mill into the peacefully quiet courtyard. During the walk to the mill's library, he couldn’t help but ponder just how terrible Sir was. What kind of man forces two small children to work in a lumber mill? What sort of man would hire a dickhead like the foreman? What sort of man would pay his employees in coupons or feed them only gum? But his biggest question was the same as the one he had asked Mr. Poe before they were even dropped off here which was how is a lumber mill a suitable home for two children? With each step, the children raised small clouds of dirt that matched the clouds of dread that continued to hang over them ever since their parents had died. Their bodies ached from the morning’s work and they had an uneasy feeling in their empty stomachs. As they guessed from the way their day began, the two children were having a bad day and I hate to inform you that although the Baudelaires believed it couldn’t get any worse. They were entirely wrong. Because it can get so much worse...and it did.

Finally, the two children reached the building that contained Sir’s office and Charles’ library. Klaus noticed a mirror hanging on the wall and peered in it frowning. Both children looked tired and hungry. Both children’s hair and uniforms were covered in small pieces of bark and sawdust. Klaus’ glasses were hanging askew from leaning over logs all morning and Sunny had pieces of wood stuck in her four teeth. Both children frowned and noticed a painting of a seashore that hung behind them, which made them feel about ten thousand times worse because the seashore will always remind them of that terrible, terrible day when the two siblings went to the beach and soon received the news from Mr. Poe that their parents had died and they were all alone in this world. The children stared at their own reflections and the depressing painting behind them, and it was almost unbearable for either of them to think about everything that had happened to them since that day.

“You know, if someone had told me,” Klaus cried, “ that day at the beach, that before long I’d find myself pursued by a greedy, evil man named Count Olaf, I would have said they were insane.”

“Wora,” Sunny replied softly, which meant, “If someone had told me, that day at the beach, that before long I’d find myself using my four teeth to scrape the bark off trees because I was now working in a lumbermill, I would have said they were psychoneurotically disturbed.”

The dismayed orphans looked at their reflections and for several moments, the Baudelaires stood and pondered the mysterious way their lives were going. It wasn’t until Sunny pointed to a pair of closed doors muttering the word, “book,” that snapped Klaus back into reality.

“You’re right, Sunny. According to the map, the mill library should be just behind...behind this door,” Klaus whispered as he touched the doors to open up. Just when he had placed a hand on the library door, a door behind the two children swung open.

“Trying to get out of log day, are you?” Sir’s booming voice asked. Klaus jumped in surprise and turned to see his guardians, one whose face was still entirely covered by a cloud of smoke and the other who was wearing an apron.

“We wanted to visit the library on our lunch break, Sir.”

“Oh! What a lovely idea!” Charles said smiling at the children, turning to Sir. “I told you a library would be good for morale,”

“Nonsense!” Sir yelled which cause both Klaus and Charles to flinch. “Lunch breaks are for chewing gum, not sneaking off to libraries! That’s why they only need five fucking minutes!”

“But, Sir…” Charles began.

“You’re not going to cause trouble for my mill, are you?”

“Trouble? I’m your partner.” Charles said in a saddened tone.

Sir turned to Charles. “I was speaking to the Baudelaires!” he said in a loud and annoyed tone.

“Right,” Charles muttered.

“Look here, boy, I took a chance treating you like grown-ups. Don’t make me regret it!” Sir yelled.

“Puer!” Sunny yelled, which meant, “We never asked to be treated like grown-ups. If I recall correctly, we explained to you that we were children! ” Klaus was quick to translate for his sister.

Sir growled under his breath. “ Get back to work!”

With that Sir turned and walked back into his office as Klaus and Sunny looked at Charles with desperate, pleading eyes. Charles gave the children a small frown as he slowly began to back up into the office.

“You’ll have to excuse Sir. He recently cut down on his smoking,” Charles explained, even though, he knew deep down that was not a good enough excuse for why Sir was treating the Baudelaires so terribly.

“Do you know he feeds the workers gum and pays them in coupons!?” Klaus asks angrily.

“Yes...well, I’ve tried to discuss that. ”

“Par!” Sunny yelled, which meant, “If you guys are partners , you should be able to stand up to him!” Klaus translated for his sister.

“It’s complicated. I know Sir can be...prickly, but you have to understand, he had a very terrible childhood.” Charles explained as he grabbed ahold of the office doors and began to slowly close them.

Klaus glared at Charles and took a step closer to him as he thought about that horrible day at the beach again. “I understand,” Klaus said through gritted teeth. “ I’m having a very terrible childhood right now, ” he said his voice breaking.

Charles continued closing the office doors as he whispered, “okay.” Klaus just gave a look of utter disbelief at Charles’ lack of caring for the children.

Klaus and Sunny just stood there for a few moments before shaking their heads and walking back to the lumbermill. In the hours that followed as the two children worked and worked. Klaus had a pit in his stomach as he thought once again about the eye-shaped building. He was certain that Count Olaf was lurking nearby, like some predator waiting to pounce on the children while they weren’t looking. He tried his best to get a good look at every mill worker. It would have been simple for Olaf to get himself hired as an employee, and snatch the children away when Foreman Flacutono wasn’t looking. But although all the workers looked tired, sad, and hungry, none of them looked evil and greedy. As the orphans performed backbreaking labor, Klaus wondered if Count Olaf would use one of these scary-looking machines to somehow get his dirty hands on their parents’ money. He then thought of Foreman Flacutono and thought about just how odd his uniform was. No one else here was wearing a gas mask and although the mills’ green uniforms covered every inch of the workers’ arms and legs, they still weren’t as long and awkward as the foreman’s uniform. Klaus then remembered how a nice man, Kronk, had claimed to be from the Herpetological Society back when the children had lived with their Uncle Monty. Even though the man had been nice and helpful to the children, Klaus had always found it odd that he wore a beekeeper’s hat to conceal his face. He pondered whether or not Count Olaf could be doing that now but with a gas mask.

“Penny?” Sunny asked as she sat up on the log staring at her brother, this meant, “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Huh?” Klaus asked confused.

“Cogitare,” Sunny replied, which meant, “You’re thinking something.”

Klaus sighed and put down his debarker. “It’s the new foreman. Phil said he just showed up last night. What if he’s Count Olaf and being a foreman’s his new disguise?”

“Pessima,” Sunny replied annoyed, which meant, “He is cruel like Count Olaf, but Olaf runs a horrible theater troupe, not a lumbermill.”

“But isn’t it suspicious how we never see his face?”

“Sir,” Sunny remarked.

“I already thought of that, Sir’s way too short to be Olaf in disguise.”

Sunny rolled her eyes at her brother unimpressed.

“...and we only hear his voice over the loudspeaker,” Klaus reasoned.

“Impellit,” Sunny remarked, which meant, “Probably because the mill is too noisy. It’s probably the only way anyone could ever hear him.”

“But…” Klaus cried.

“ Ludum! ” Sunny yelled impatiently, which meant, “ I know what you’re trying to do!”

“Keep us safe!” Klaus cried.

“Nos!” Sunny yelled impatiently rolling her eyes, which meant, “Find a reason to leave. And we can just as soon as we clear our parents’ names.”

“I don’t care about that! I have to keep you safe!” Klaus argued.

“Curam me!” she replied harshly, which meant, “Goddammit, Klaus! I don’t need you to keep me safe! I can handle my own pretty sure I’ve done enough to prove that! Worry about yourself!”

Klaus frowned and looked to the ground. “I...I...I need a new debarker,” he said sadly as he tossed his to the ground. Sunny shrugged her shoulders and went back to work. Klaus walked slowly away from his baby sister, wiping the tears from his eyes. Klaus turned back to make sure Sunny was okay, she seemed annoyed but content as she went back to biting the bark off the logs. Klaus walked towards the debarker machine but noticed that Foreman Flacutono was asleep in his booth with his left leg hanging out. Klaus took this opportunity and quickly walked up near the booth, slowly kneeling down to the ground.

Ever so cautiously, Klaus gently grabbed the man’s pant leg and began to slowly pull it up. Praying that he didn’t wake the foreman. He just needed to see the man’s ankle. As Klaus pulled the pant leg up, the foreman began to move slightly in his sleep. Klaus held his breath, trying his best to not wake the man up. Before he could see the man’s left ankle, the foreman jerked awake as Klaus jumped up not making eye contact with him.

“What are you doing, midget?” the foreman asked him angrily.

“I...I...I need a new debarker,” Klaus said in a low voice, nervously. still not making eye contact with the man, in fear that it was actual Olaf in disguise.

“Spoiled brat wants a new debarker? Old rust one isn’t good enough for him, eh?” The foreman asked in a patronizing tone. “They’re over there, rich boy.” as he moved his arm to gesture at where they were located. That was what caught Klaus’ attention, the foreman didn’t point with his finger, he used his arm to more or less point. Klaus watched confused as the foreman lowered his oddly stiff arm.

“Wait…” Klaus said under his breath trying to figure out where he had seen this type of stiff arm before.

Before he could figure it out. He felt the foreman’s left foot give him a harsh, painful kick in the ass as he fell to the ground. His glasses slid off his face a few inches in front of him. He winced in pain as his mind scrambled to figure out what had happened.

The foreman walked in front of him and purposefully stepped on his glasses. “Whoopsie!” the foreman said in a mocking tone as he made his way back to the booth.

“Klaus!” Sunny yelled realizing her brother was on the floor. Phil looked up and noticed that Klaus was lying on the floor as well. He quickly grabbed Sunny and walked towards the boy. By the time Phil and Sunny reached him a small crowd of workers circled Klaus. This reminded him of when Olaf had both slapped him in the face and when Olaf had tortured him and his troupe just sat around and watched the show before them. He wiped a tear from his eyes as he looked up and saw a blurry blob that was small enough to be his sister.

“Specks!” Sunny yelled as she reached her brother, picking up his glasses for him, which meant, “Your glasses...they’re…”

“Twisted,”

“Cracked,”

“Hopelessly broken,”

“They look A-okay to me,” Phil commented giving Klaus two thumbs up.

Klaus put his broken glasses on his face and saw that his coworkers were correct. His glasses resembled a piece of modern sculpture that a friend of mine made a long time ago called Twisted, Cracked, and Hopelessly Broken.

“The foreman kicked me!” Klaus yelled angrily. “And then he stepped on my glasses!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! How could I kick him when I’m up in this booth?” Foreman Flacutono replied. “It was probably karma,”

“See?” Sunny asked desperately.

“A little,” Klaus replied.

“He’ll live,” Foreman Flacutono replied.

“Fucker!” Sunny yelled at the foreman as Phil helped Klaus up.

“Get back to work, midget,”

“He can’t work if he can’t see!” Phil explained.

“Too bad for him,”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Phil said calmly, “He needs an optometrist. A child could see that,”

“Not me,” Klaus said, “I can scarcely see anything.”

“Lucky for you, we’ve got a great optometrist right here in what’s left of our town,”

The Baudelaires’ eyes got wide with panic. “You mean the eye-shaped building?” Klaus asked nervously.

“Oh yeah! Dr. Orwell treats all the workers. You probably saw the coupon in your welcome packet. I better get you there.” Phil said

“No!” Sunny protested. “No take!”

But Foreman Flacutono began banging his pots together as the other mill workers turned on the machines to finish the day’s work.

“That building has the mark of a bad, bad man!” Klaus pleaded as Phil dragged him away from Sunny.

“Yoryar!” Sunny begged crawling as fast as she could to stop Phil from taking her brother away from her, this meant, “Please don’t take him to that building!” But Klaus wasn’t able to translate because neither he or Phil could hear Sunny over the machines. Klaus gave Sunny a hopeful smile.

“I’ll be fine!” he shouted to her. “Maybe I can find some answers!”

“Same!” She yelled back.

The Baudelaire sister watched in horror as Phil led Klaus out of the mill. The whirring sounds continued all around Sunny, and Foreman Flacutono was now yelling at her to get back to work as he smacked his pots together. But that wasn’t the loudest sound that the younger Baudelaire orphan hared. Louder than the machine, louder than the pots, louder than the foreman’s yelling, was the sound of her own furiously beating heart as Phil took her big brother away.

7 notes · View notes

echoes-of-the-clockwork · 5 years

Text

Deacon St. John || Phantom in the Night [2/5]

A/n: I'm only focusing on the "Ripped Apart" storyline and not the other missions in between, but there will be no Lisa because I didn't work her into the storyline for a certain reason.

⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️

Also, the events are altered slightly and Deacon won't recognize Carlos as Jessie due to how and where I want this story to go. Hope you all enjoy this next part! Love you all!!! ••••••••••••••••••••

***HAS NOT BEEN PROOFREAD! PLEASE NOTIFY ME OF ANY ERRORS!!!***

***** Prompt: After going out on a mission with Skizzo to secure dynamite from the Lucky Lad Mine, Deacon returns to Lost Lake and discovers you have yet to return. While Skizzo and Iron Mike deal with where to locate detonator cords, he goes out and searches for you. *****

~3rd Person POV~

Once Skizzo and Deacon stashed the dynamite in the lodge, the drifter walked around the camp in search of (Y/n). He asked whoever he came across, but they all had the same answer.

No.

He rushed to the infirmary and watched as Addy changes the bandages on Boozer's stump. He walked over, asking the two the same question he'd been asking for the past five minutes. "Hey. Have either of you seen (Y/n)?"

"I'm afraid not, Deacon," Addy replied, keeping her eyes trained on Boozer's arm.

"She's not back from her supply run?" Boozer knew (Y/n) was the one under the mask and helped Deacon spread the lie about her being on a supply run and not taking on a horde under the alias "Phantom."

"No. She hadn't radioed in, either."

"Try contacting her," the doctor suggests.

Deacon presses the button on the side of his radio and tries to reach (Y/n). "Deacon to (Y/n). Where the hell are you?"

Silence.

"Deacon to (Y/n). Come in, (Y/n)."

Static cracked from the speaker as he paced around the infirmary. With no response from the woman, Deacon growled under his breath. "Dammit..."

"Now that I think about it, our special guest hasn't returned, either," Addy commented. "You might want to look for both of them, Deacon."

"Phantom will be fine, (Y/n)—I'm not so sure of. She wanders off and does whatever the hell she wants," the drifter replied, trying to keep Addy from becoming suspicious. "I'm going to head out and search for her. Radio me if she does return while I'm gone."

"Will do, brother," Boozer replies.

Deacon left the Lost Lake Camp and headed to the old sawmill. On his arrival, corpses littered the ground and seemed to create a trail of sorts. He followed the bodies of Swarmers, walking through the sawmill.

In a large room with conveyor belts, the drifter found (Y/n)'s radio. "Shit." He looked around the room, wondering where her trail went. He found her footprints leading out a metal shutter, which was half open.

Crouching under the shutter, Deacon found himself back outside. The foul odor of rotting corpses assaulted his nostrils as he followed her bloodied footprints to a derailed train. He crawled through an open door in one of the cars and discovered her trail led into a small building behind the tracks. "C'mon. Where are you, (Y/n)?"

Deacon opened the door, the rusty hinges squeaking. Inside, he found (Y/n)'s backpack. "Where are you going?" He muttered to himself as he made his way out a shattered window and further down the platform.

(Y/n)'s trail went cold when he reached the outskirts of the sawmill. "Goddammit," he snarled.

"Ever thought of looking up?" A voice asked. "You never know what you might miss if you keep your eyes glued to the ground."

Deacon's head snapped up and saw the woman he was looking for sitting on a branch in a tree. He threw out his arms in confusion. "What the hell are you doing in a tree?"

"Pack of wolves. I ran out of ammo and climbed a tree so they wouldn't maul me. They only left about a few minutes ago due to some Freaks chasing after them." (Y/n) adjusted the mask hanging around her neck to keep the edge from digging into her skin. "And I accidentally dropped my radio while taking out the horde."

"Yeah, I grabbed it for you." Deacon pulled out the radio to show her. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he looked away for a split second before staring back up at her. "Just glad you're okay."

"Aw, were you worried about me?" (Y/n) snickered.

"You've no idea..." He muttered to himself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Deacon swiftly responds. "So, you plan on coming down anytime soon?"

"I don't know. The view from up here is pretty amazing. I might be here for a little while longer."

"(Y/n)," he scoldingly calls out.

The woman exhaled through her nose and climbed down. "Fine. Let me change." She wandered to the building where she left her backpack and changed into her normal attire. Deacon patiently waited outside for her, ensuring no threat would sneak up on her while she was changing.

(Y/n) emerged from the building in her normal attire. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and closed the door behind her. Deacon walked a few feet in front of her since he knew where the bike was parked. They stepped over various Swarmer corpses during the trek back to the motorcycle. "I can't believe it. You actually took out every last one."

"Taking down hordes is easy once you learn the best strategy," (Y/n) casually responds.

"You're fucking insane. I hope you know that."

"Trust me, I know," she smirked.

<————————————<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Back at the encampment, Deacon and (Y/n) headed to the infirmary to see Boozer. Once they checked on him, the duo were approached by Rikki. "Looks who's back," she said, directed towards the woman at the drifter's side. "What happened out there?"

"Pack of wolves. I forgot to check my ammo before I left, but a few Freaks finally chased them off," (Y/n) replied, lying to a certain extent.

"Glad to see you're safe. You wouldn't have happened to stop by the sawmill on your way back, did you?" Rikki questioned the drifter.

"Uh, yeah. We swung by and the horde was completely wiped out," Deacon responded. "Guess this "Phantom" isn't such a bad character, right?"

"Damn. She took out the entire horde by herself? I'm impressed. She's good in my book," the mechanic said. "I'll make sure to tell Iron Mike the good news."

(Y/n) spun on her heels and began heading to the cabin Rikki provided her. Deacon watched her intently as her figure grew smaller in the distance. He didn't notice Boozer until he spoke up. "You like her."

"No, Boozeman, I don't," Deacon retorts.

"Yes, you do. I lost my arm, not my eyes. You're afraid what happened to Sarah will happen to (Y/n), aren't you?" Deacon remained silent, which was all Boozer needed as an answer. He placed his hand on his shoulder and patted it. "Even though the world is fucked up, who said you couldn't find happiness again?" With another pat on the shoulder, Boozer headed back into the infirmary.

Deacon sighed once his brother was gone. He was going to pursue (Y/n), but one person intercepted him. "Hey, you got a moment?" Skizzo questioned.

"What the hell do you want, Skizzo?" Deacon scowled at him.

"I know where we can find the detonator cords for the dynamite."

"Great. Tell Iron Mike. I'm a little busy at the moment."

"I know you know who this "Phantom" chick really is under the mask. I need her help in getting this shit."

Deacon shook his head. "Not happening, Skizzo."

"What's the deal, huh? She's just some bitch in a mask. Why do you care if something happens to her?"

Deacon grabbed the front of Skizzo's jersey and glared sharply at him as he yanked him closer. "How 'bout this—I don't kick your ass right here, right now and you fuck off. How does that sound?"

Skizzo was silent as he swallowed nervously before responding. "How about this instead—you come with me instead of her."

Deacon gritted his teeth as he shoved the man away from him. "Whatever gets you to shut the hell up."

Skizzo tugged at the collar of his jersey as he cleared his throat. "It's a deal, then. We're leaving now."

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a minute." Deacon waves Skizzo off and heads to (Y/n)'s cabin. In the small building, he found her slumped over one of the counters in the kitchen. Taking a few steps closer, he saw she was staring at her mask. The floorboards squeaked under his boots, signaling his presence.

(Y/n) spun around and greeted the drifter. "Hey, Deek. Did you need something?"

"Uh, well, not really, but..."

"Oh, god. What's wrong?"

Deacon shook his head. "Nothing's wrong, I promise. Just wanted to tell you I'll be back soon."

The woman's brows furrowed in bewilderment. "Where're you going?"

"Skizzo's found—"

"Oh, hell no! There's no way you can trust that frat boy!" (Y/n) yelled.

"Wait, you think he looks like a frat boy, too?" Deacon questioned. He saw her frown and cross her arms. "Okay, that's not the point."

She ran a hand through her (h/c) hair in vexation. "You seriously can't be going on another run with Skizzo. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him... and I seriously doubt I could even lift his dumbass an inch off the ground!"

Deacon moves to stand in front of the worried woman, placing his hands on her shoulders and staring into her (e/c) eyes. "I'll be fine. Just don't go parading around as Phantom while I'm gone."

"Oh, no, no, no!" She shook her head furiously. "You're out of your goddamn mind if you think—!"

One of Deacon's hand traveled to the back of her neck, sending a chill down her spine and causing her to fall silent. She was baffled at the gentle look in his eyes as he pulled her closer. When their lips met, her entire body became petrified. The shock wore off in a few seconds and she kissed back. She placed her hands on his face, caressing her fingers across the stubble along his jaw.

The escaping of knuckles against the cabin door startled (Y/n) and she jumped away from Deacon. "Hey, Deek! Get your ass movin'!" Skizzo's voice was slightly muffled due to the door. "We don't got all day!"

The woman exhaled, placing a hand on her forehead. "I can't believe you're going with him..."

"Now you know I feel every time you walk out and go gallivanting around in that damn mask," he chuckled.

"Guess the roles have been reversed," she smiled in amusement. "Well then, I'm gonna tell you what you always tell me—be careful and come back safely. Honestly, I'd be happier if you didn't return with Skizzo."

"Yeah, well, we need to stay on Iron Mike's good side so no plots to kill of abandon Skizzo... yet."

"Damn... I already have an entire list," she muttered with a snicker.

Deacon grinned from ear to ear. "Keep it with you. I might need to borrow it soon."

"Hurry the hell up!" Skizzo yelled, banging on her door once again.

"Jesus, Skizzo... Shut the hell up!" Deacon shouted back.

(Y/n) placed a hand on his chest and pushed him lightly. "You better go before the frat boy starts waving a butter knife around."

"Yeah," Deacon exhales. "I already want this shit to be over."

"Just try to not kill him without me, 'kay?"

Skizzo banged his fist against the door and shouted for the drifter once more, earning a displeased frown from him. "No promises."

<———————————<<<<<<<<<<<<

With the detonator cords in their possession, Deacon and Skizzo leave the transportation building in Iron Butte, which currently was the land the Rippers called their own and aren't very fond of trespassers. "Let's the hell out of Ripper territory and back to Lost Lake," Deacon said as they headed in the direction they left their bikes.

Skizzo suddenly comes to a halt. "What I said in there—about trusting you—is all true."

Deacon turned around, brows furrowed as to why they were discussing this matter right now. "We don't have time for this shit, Skizzo." The younger man grabs the gun out of Deacon's grasp and aims it at him. The drifter glared fiercely at Skizzo. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sorry, brother, but this is the only way. Carlos wants Phantom, not you. But now that I know who she really is, you'd just get in the way."

Deacon tried to play innocent. "You're making no fucking sense as usual."

"I saw the mask in her cabin while you were making out. I know what I saw and you can't try to fool me, Deek. You can try to convince me (Y/n), but you're not gonna win this time. Once Carlos gets what he wants, he'll leave all of Lost Lake alone."

Deacon's eyes narrowed, the fire burning in them festering. "You touch her, I'll kill you."

"I'll swing by Lost Lake, grab her, and come back here. The camp will be saved. That's all I care about."

"You seriously think Iron Mike won't figure this out?"

"That old geezer doesn't know how to run a camp!"

"And you do?" Deacon scoffed.

"Better than Iron Mike. Like I said, you'd only get in the way at this point." Skizzo lifted the gun and used it to knock the drifter unconscious.

<—————————————<<<<<<<<<<<<

By the time Deacon regained consciousness, he had already been apprehended by the Rippers. He was missing all his gear, including his hat, jacket, shirt, and cut. His hands were tied to wooden stakes in a dimly lit room. He struggled against the rope, trying to free himself.

The door to the small room swung open and Carlos stepped into the room with a torch in his grasp. A wicked grin spread across his face as he slowly approached the drifter. "Not who I was hoping for, but you'll do for the time being." Carlos circled around Deacon like a vulture eyeing its prey. His eyes trailed over the tattoos scattered across the drifter's body. "A few of my people spotted you working alongside Phantom a few weeks ago. That must mean you know who truly is under the mask."

"Not necessarily," Deacon sneered.

"Oh, I bet you do. That menace has killed over a hundred of my people. She must be exterminated like the roach she is."

"Last I checked, she's keeping your asses in check—stopping "your people" from murdering and torturing others."

"She will pay for what she has done to the innocent."

"Oh, fuck off, Carlos. There's no way in hell you nutcases are innocent," Deacon spat.

The leader of the Rippers raised the torch and aimed the nozzle at the tattoo on the drifter's right arm. "You will share—!"

"Phantom!" A cacophony of Rippers shouted. Gunfire rang out all across the area and the sound of painful cries accompanied the bombardment.

Carlos tossed the torch aside with a fierce glare as he stormed out of the room in search of the masked woman. Deacon tugged at his restraints again, hoping to loosen one of his wrists.

"Find her!" He heard Carlos roar at the top of his lungs. From the room, he also heard the Rippers scurry around in search of (Y/n).

Deacon slumped in defeat after trying for five minutes straight and the rope didn't budge an inch. He grumbled curses under his breath as he stared at the floor.

Suddenly, the doorknob twisted and the door was pushed open slowly with a high-pitched creak. Deacon lifted his head when hearing the obnoxious noise and watched as a familiar masked figure entered the room. (Y/n) lowers her sniper and removes her mask when she spots Deacon. "It's about damn time."

The emotions that crossed over Deacon's face were bafflement and irritability. The anger was for being careless and the shock was due to her mere presence. "How did you—?"

"I may have followed you and Skizzo when you left." (Y/n) grabbed her knife and used it to cut Deacon free. He stumbled forward slightly when his arms were free but regained his balance before he fell. "If you have anymore questions, Wait 'til we get the hell outta this place."

"Any idea where they took my gear?" He asked.

(Y/n) shook her head with a frown. "Not sure, but I did see one of the Rippers wearing your cut. I'll go get it while you find the rest of your gear." She grabbed the pistol strapped to her thigh and handed it to him. "Take this. You're gonna need it."

"What—you haven't taken out all the Rippers yet?" He smirked, taking the firearm from her.

"Only a few," she responds.

"Your definition of "a few" is different from mine."

"All you need to know is there's still plenty of this nutjobs around and they won't hesitate to shoot your ass. Just find your gear and I'll meet you at my bike. It's behind the remains of a burnt house. You can't miss it." She placed the man's back onto her face and pulled the black hood up, tucking her (h/c) hair inside.

"Alright. I'll meet you there."

<————————————<<<<<<<<<<<<

Deacon found his gear guarded by a single Ripper. He snuck up on the man and snapped his neck before reclaiming his clothes and weapons. He grabbed his hat and secured it in its normal backwards position. He gripped (Y/n)'s handgun tightly as he snuck out the back of the house and to the charred house down the street, taking out a few Rippers along the way.

The drifter found (Y/n) already on her bike, the engine roaring as she glanced at him. "Hop on. I know where you left your bike." Deacon didn't hesitate and mounted the bike behind the woman. She smirked as she gripped the handlebars. "Your turn to hold on!" They dodged gunfire as they disappeared into the night.

Arriving at Deacon's bike, said man dismounted (Y/n)'s motorcycle and hopped onto his own. He started the engine, relieved to know the bike wasn't tampered with during his absence. "Let's get the hell out of this place."

"Right behind you," (Y/n) sighed.

The two took off, heading back to Lost Lake. It was a lengthy ride full of danger thanks to Carlos and his Rippers. It seemed as if word had spread about Phantom's arrival and every single cultists was in high alert.

When they safely entered Lost Lake, they rode to the encampment only to find it being attacked by Rippers. "Shit... Seems Carlos best us here," the woman muttered. Deacon pulls his bike to a stop before crossing the rickety bridge into the camp. Confused, (Y/n) pulls her bike next to his and stops. "What's wrong?"

"Stay here and don't even think about entering the camp until I come back, alright?" Deacon's tone was low and unwavering.

"I can help, Deek. It's my fault Carlos is attacking the camp," she protests.

"No," the drifter shook his head, staring into her (e/c) eyes. "It's fucking Skizzo's fault. He was planning on handing you over to Carlos to save the camp. Just do as I say and stay here."

"Wha—Deacon!" (Y/n) shouts as he rides off, leaving her alone. She tore off her mask, watching as the drifter crossed the bridge and entered the encampment. From where she sat on her bike, she could hear the Rippers and the people of Lost Lake screaming. She stared in horror as a few cabins were set ablaze. "What have I done?"

#days gone #days gone x reader #deacon st john x reader #deacon x reader #Female reader

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sirens-wrath-archive · 5 years

Text

🌩️A New Kind Of Vault Monster

★ 2468 words, according to WPS.

★ This is my drabble for the Rabid Rabbit quest, relating to Isola Radiale’s ongoing Fantasia War event!

It was as big as a house, so she said. Maya’s new found heightened senses made it easy for her to eavesdrop, picking up on all the little conversations people were having as they passed the fountain she’d been resting in. This conversation in particular piqued her interest, causing her to rise her head out of the water a bit. A monster that was as big as a house, tearing apart the forest outside Airaisal and terrorizing the country-folk. The woman spinning this tale to a few mercenaries seemed to be in hysterics, rightfully so if the story was true. It appeared she had been trying to find someone to kill it for awhile now, but no one, including the men she was speaking with at the moment, was willing to risk their life for this endeavor.

Maya had dragged herself out of the pool by the time the mercenaries left the woman to cry in the middle of the street. Killing big dangerous monsters was her job, a job she was very good at and missed doing, so this whole ordeal sounded like it was just up her alley! And she was always happy to help a woman in need.

The woman, who introduced herself as Zennah, seemed apprehensive to speak with her at first. Not surprising, Maya knew she looked scary with those huge teeth and big claws. But she eventually opened up, and gave her the full details. The beast was a… rabbit of sorts, a rabbit that was intent on demolishing the forest in its search to satiate its hunger. This beast had already claimed a handful of lives, and simply must be put down. There were evidently more of it’s kind, but this one was the biggest and therefore the most dangerous. If successfully killed, and the corpse brought back, Zennah assured her that she would be rewarded.

Needless to say, Maya happily accepted the quest and headed out of town without skipping a beat. She’d been itching to do something like this for awhile, something that’d give her just a taste of what she’d been so used to back on Pandora. She couldn’t deny that she was a teensy bit of a thrill seeker. So, not only would this hunt give her an adrenaline rush she was desperately craving, she’d also have a chance to learn something new! Which, for Maya, was just as exciting of an idea to her as the hunt itself was.

The walk through open fields gave her a lot of time to reminisce on things she was missing, though she fought back the nostalgia once she was stood outside the forest. There were noises deeper in the trees, noises that made her fins stand on end as her nerves flared. She was rusty, she knew that, but it was a rabbit, not The Warrior.

❝ I can handle this. ❞ She told herself while pushing through the treeline, gun drawn from her hip.

❝ I hope I can handle this. ❞

The forest was expansive, but even so, the damage these creatures had done was apparent. She passed entire trees that had been ripped from the ground, stripped of all greenery, and massive trenches that’d been dug into the earth. The sounds she’d been hearing, now identifiable as a deep thumping, were getting louder as well. Maya wasn’t worried about this at first, but the further in she went, the more concerned she was that she couldn’t actually see where the noise was coming from.

It was when she passed a patch of rocks that she discovered the corpses of a few farmers that’d made attempts on the beast’s life. The scene wasn’t pretty to say the least, but she still made a note to return for them once she was finished. It was the least she could do for them at this point… But, the sight served as a warning as well, because that would be her if she messed this up. Sobering to say the least.

By the time she’d reached a large clearing with sod torn up and tossed about, the thumping was seemingly right on top of her. Once again, her nerves flared and every fin on her body stood on end as she was stuck looking every which way. It grew deafening, filling the clearing to the brim and causing her to wince in pain as her senses were overwhelmed.

And just when she felt like her head would explode, it stopped.

Total silence. No birds, no insects, no swaying of branches. The forest had fallen deathly silent, leaving her ears ringing in the wake of all that noise. She stood, if you could call it that, disoriented and wobbling back to the edge of the treeline. Maya still couldn’t see the beast, though something in her knew it was nearby, and she knew she needed a moment to reorient herself before being able to take it on properly.

But fate was not that kind to the Siren. Before she could clamor up a tree, the ground beneath her shifted, and then rose with an immense force. It sent her and a few tons of dirt flying as the beast dragged itself out of the tunnel it’d been digging. Meanwhile, Maya was flung into a tree broadside, dropping her gun as she hit the trunk with a painful smack. That was definitely going to bruise.

The rabbit turned it’s massive head to look at her, it’s red eye giving an almost accusatory glare. It’s white fur was matted and caked in mud, and as it shifted to face her head on, Maya’s eyes focused enough to stare right back at it.

❝ You’re not as big as a house, but still pretty damn big. ❞

As the beast geared itself to charge her, Maya’s training finally decided to kick in. Reflexes steeled, she rolled out of the way as it came barreling for her, scrabbling to her feet in the middle of the clearing. The tree she’d been thrown against was now splinters, and the rabbit’s feet once again thumped against the earth as it circled back to face her from just inside the treeline. It seemed very intent on running her down, but she was focused now, and she wouldn’t be bested that easily.

It made a few more runs at her, Maya dodging the same way each time before she glanced down at her arm, and then at the rabbit. She hadn’t phaselocked anything in months, and her Siren powers still felt… restrained in some way. If she pushed herself too hard, she could fatigue herself or worse, but she didn’t have many options at that moment. She took a deep breath as it once again faced her, shifting herself into a more steady foot stance. Her markings came to life with a crackle as she inhaled, then exhaled, drawing all of the energy in her core to her palm. The beast, realizing she was making a move, started towards her.

It didn’t end up getting too far. Maya let out a grunt of effort as she lifted it off the ground with her phase ability, struggling to heft all of it’s weight. In her desperation, she’d almost forgotten that some things were too heavy for her to keep locked for long. Still, with what little time she had, she managed to throw the beast to the side. It screamed as it hit a rocky outcropping, tearing up more dirt as it skidded. That certainly wasn’t a pleasant sound. The moment it was out of her grasp, Maya’s phase abilities dissipated with a hiss, leaving her out of breath for a moment.

❝ That… That felt wrong. ❞ She looked at her arm, which was shimmering with the heat her powers always kicked up. Maybe it was just how rusty she was, but that phase made something in her core light up with pain. It was agonizing actually using her powers. That was definitely not normal for her. But she didn’t have much time to dwell on it, because the beast was slowly coming back to it’s feet.

Of course it wasn’t dead. Nothing could be easy for her, could it. Figures.

While she still could, Maya ran into the brush, pushing the bushes and debris aside to find her Plasma Caster again. If she was going to kill this thing, she’d need her gun, and she’d need it fast. Despite having it’s side torn apart by the rocks, and it’s fur singed from the phaselock, the rabbit was coming for her once again; Albeit at a much more labored pace.

Gun in hand, she took aim at the creature as it let out a half scream, half roar, shaking the forest around her. Three shots fired, only two hit. The smell of the corrosive agents in the bullets was noxious as it melted through dirt, fur and flesh, causing the beast to scream once again and charge. This time, Maya only barely made it out of the way as it barreled past her. Normally, an enemy could be dispatched in just one or two shots from that SMG, but that clearly wasn’t the case for this creature. It took damage, for sure, but it wasn’t enough to kill it in a timely manner. Perhaps it was because of how dense it’s fur was, but regardless, it didn’t bode well for her.

Maya’s only option at that point was to look around. Using the environment to her advantage was her last chance to kill this thing, but there wasn’t anything in this clearing she could put to use. If she could use her phase again without doubling over, she’d throw it against the rocks a few more times, but other than that…

She decided to ultimately think and move at the same time. There was no way she could out run the thing, but she was confident she could out maneuver it if she played her cards right.

Maya took off in one direction as the rabbit circled back for her. She put all she could into running, occasionally diving to the sides to keep from being trampled to death. With the forest so torn up, there were points where she had to detour or risk getting stuck in loose soil. Occasionally, she’d fire pot shots back at it in hopes of slowing it down, and it worked to a degree. That’s probably what saved her life, really. Her lungs had never hurt as much as they hurt in those moments, but as she heard the rush of a waterfall in the distance over the sound of the rabbit’s feet beating behind her, she got an idea.

This area, she’d been to before. About a hundred yards away was a waterfall, that cliffed off and dropped into a considerably large lake. She’d rested in it a few times while passing through, and she mentally kicked herself for not thinking of this sooner. Though, this would be one of the more stupid things she’s pulled off if it worked. A good thing for the record books.

Maya threw her gun to the side as she took a hard left, shifting her course (and the beast’s) towards the cliff. She could hear it stumble, and then regain itself behind her as she did. Glancing over her shoulder, she could still see it’s red eyes trained on her, with nothing but hate swirling in them. The river was running alongside her now, but that didn’t seem to deter the beast at all; All it wanted was to see her dead. A good sign for her plan, but it didn’t unnerve her any less.

The cliff was partially hidden from view by the thick underbrush, but Maya knew exactly where it was. At the last moment possible, she turned around to face the beast entirely, narrowing her eyes at it in a last act of ‘I win’. The ground fell out from underneath her as she ran right off the edge, and she watched as the rabbit, in it’s blind rage, followed her.

Maya didn’t let herself hit the water back first. Twisting mid-air, she let herself break the surface in something that at least half resembled a proper dive. The water was cold, and murky, rushing around her as she reoriented herself in the wake of the beast crashing in behind her. It obviously struggled as it’s soaked fur was almost too heavy for it to bear in it’s weakened state. The beast couldn’t barely even bring it’s self to the surface, staring at her as it desperately fought to head up for air. She wouldn’t give it that chance, however, as she moved to give it one swift kick to the head. Through the water, Maya could hear it’s neck snap, and with that, the hunt was over.

She watched as it drifted down to the lake bottom, much to the confusion of the fish that lived there. The smell of it’s blood flooded her senses, so she decided to crawl out of the water before it woke a feeding frenzy in her brain. An interesting side effect of being a siren of mythos, it seemed. Once out, she let herself lie flat on the sand so she could catch her breath properly. Her lungs still hurt, and so did her arm, but at least this was done and out of the way. Part of her couldn’t wait to tell her friends about this whole ordeal, and another was incredibly self conscious of how much dirt was in her hair from all the combat rolls she’d been doing.

However, as she sat up, she was hit with a crushing realization. Part of the terms of her contract was being able to present the body…

❝ God damn it. ❞ She cursed to herself, ❝ How the hell am I going to get that out of there. ❞

#x PHASED AND CONFUSED #x active quest: rabid rabbit #x ic #x drabble #x isola event: the fantasia war #{throws this in like. 4 hours before the raid starts.}#{im sorry mods i just could not write}#{if i hear one 'big as a house and half as smart' joke ill explode}#rabid rabbit

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godd-howard-did-it-again · 3 years

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What I absolutely **hate** about this series is that first they say in S2 "some monsters are people like us, they deserve a life" and then that fucking piece of shit kills Amy, who killed only to save her son and had a life, a job, a FUCKING SON and CATS, and not only Dean kills her, betrays his brother's trust and LIES to his fucking face, telling him that he's "crazy" and incapable of making decisions for himself (ableist anyone?) every 5 mins of episode BUT that also gets passed as if HE'S THE GOOD GUY for killing a woman in front of her child.

WHO SHE TRIED TO PROTECT.

All because "she will kill again, people can't fight their nature" (damn what a shitty take but whatever). No, she wouldn't have killed again. How many vampires and "monsters" he killed tho just out of pleasure? How many people DIED because of him and his sorry ass?

Am I supposed to like this guy? Cause with every passing season, I kinda think he fucking deserved to die by the rusty nail. Hell, he should have died way before then.

I can't even understand why people think Cas deserves him.

Cas deserves someone who will LOVE and respect him, not call him a junkless sissy and degrade him every damn time he's on screen and not even give a flying crap about him in S7 when he dies.

"OPS, HE DIED. Well, I'll just take his trench coat and WE WILL NEVER ADDRESS THIS EVER AGAIN OR GIVE A CRAP ABOUT HIM".

"Cas was family" No, cause YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM OR SEARCH FOR HIM AFTER HE DISAPPEARED INTO THE FUCKING LAKE. IF YOU CARED, YOU WOULD HAVE FUCKING SWAM IN THERE AND SEARCHED FOR HIS VESSEL, CAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE FUCKING SAME FOR SAM OR BOBBY OR JO OR EVEN A FUCKING LADY THAT YOU HOPED YOU COULD FUCK LIKE THE SEXUAL OBJECTS YOU THINK THEY ARE.

Cas always comes, EVEN IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF A WAR, is always there to help him, and this BITCH, this ungrateful son of a bitch is always bitching cause apparently Cas should just be there 24/7 to fucking help him WHILE being treated like shit.

He treats him so badly, and is nice maybe once in a while (BECAUSE HE NEEDS SOMETHING or cause he wants to forget that he fucked up with his brother). He insults him or calls him a "child" just because he doesn't understand sarcasm like some autistic people or doesn't get social cues and it's all so fucking irritating.

I don't get why people love Dean. I can't.

Trauma doesn't mean that I should forgive your being an utter piece of shit to everyone. Cause people get better, BUT HE NEVER. FUCKING. DOES.

#DO NOT REBLOG #AND DO NOT CLOWN ON THIS POST OR I'M BLOCKING YOU #I'm so fucking tired of this asshole never getting better and getting a free out of jail card because sometimes he acts bi #he's not even bi he's an homophobic fuck even on canon #and his actor is homophobic too so like #nothing redeemable about him #godd howard watches supernatural

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dreameater1988 · 7 years

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My Top 10 Twelfth Doctor Stories

I’ve seen other people do this, so I decided to make my own Top 10 of Twelfth Doctor stories.

10. Flatline

I have a soft spot for stories in which the Doctor gets in a bit of a situation and putting him in a shrinking TARDIS was a hilarious plan. I have to admit, I wasn’t that fond of the episode when I first watched it, but to be quite honest, I love it a bit more with every rewatch. I think this really is one of those episodes that you have to watch a couple of times to really appreciate it. I’m also glad that the Boneless were picked up again in one of the comics because who doesn’t love a recurring monster? They were creepy, they were threatening and quite difficult to defeat - which the Doctor eventually did while giving an amazing speech. I think it was the first Twelfth Doctor speech that really struck me because of how fierce and powerful it was. And a cute bonus: Doctor Oswald. All of these things definitely put Flatline in my Top 10.

9. The Zygon Invasion / The Zygon Inversion

Another thing I love about Doctor Who? Kate Stewart! So it would be a shame not to include one of her stories in my Top 10. I have always preferred two-parters over single episodes because of that little heart attack causing “to be continued” thrill and these episodes do it quite brilliantly. The Zygons as monsters aren’t exactly my favourites, but they were really well used in this case. I really enjoyed the storyline and the many jokes that were put in the episodes (Why do you have a Union Jack parachute? - Camouflage. - Camouflage? - Yes, we’re in Britain.) There really are so many things I love about this two-parter: the Doctor’s emotional speech, Jenna marvellously playing two different characters, Kate tricking the Zygons, . . . The final product is a thrilling episode and wonderful entertainment.

8. Dark Water / Death in Heaven

The finale of S8 has to be on this list for one reason alone: Missy. Michelle Gomez really, really rocked that part and I will love her forever for it. I never really liked the Simm!Master because of various reasons (mainly cause his version of the Master collided with the version in a book I’ve read and loved). Yet the Twelfth Doctor and Missy really brought that “true friendship gone horribly wrong” part across. There was also the storyline of Clara losing Danny and later losing the Doctor by letting him go which I think shaped her S9 character to a large degree that I really, really love. The Cybermen were less creepy in this episode than in others (the S2 two-parter has scarred me forever), but this story wasn’t about the Cybermen or an invasion at all, at least it’s not how I see it. This two-parter is about loss and friendship. And it contains yet another Twelfth Doctor speech that I will love until the day I die. He’s my idiot with a box and a screwdriver.

7. Oxygen

I feel obligated to put at least one episode from S10 on my list and since this was the only one that really stirred something in me, here we go. I loved the space station setting (because I’m a sad sci-fi nerd), I loved the dystopian “oxygen on sale” bit, but you know what I loved the most? The Doctor going blind. Oh my God, how I loved the big reveal in the end when he said he still couldn’t see. The Doctor is a Time Lord surrounded by humans, he is always superior to them simply because of the fact that he’s (like he said to Clara in FtR) “less breakable”, but finally, we get to see that he is breakable after all, that he’s vulnerable, that he’s no longer the superior hero. I love that bit. Sadly, the episodes that followed didn’t really put this plot twist to use in my opinion.

6. Mummy on the Orient Express

Who wouldn’t want to go on a trip on the space Orient Express with the Twelfth Doctor? This episode was beautiful from start to finish: the setting, the costumes, the dialogues, the storyline, the tension between the Doctor and Clara. Every moment of this episode was wonderful and a pure joy to watch. It was also a big turning point in the relationship between the (new) Doctor and Clara because, for the first time, she saw him for who he really was. Now, a couple of weeks ago I bought Doctor Who - The Complete History and I read about the making of this episode and I have to admit that I probably would have loved the original script (in which the Mummy is a life-extending body suit that won’t let people die and Clara briefly gets turned into one) a little bit more because it contains more sci-fi elements than the version they ended up using. But hey, I’m not complaining. The episode is awesome.

5. Into The Dalek

“I see into your soul, Doctor. I see beauty. I see divinity. I see hated.” Just hearing these words in my head gives me goosebumps and I think that is a very good sign that this episode definitely belongs in my Top 10. A lot of things have been done with Daleks over the past 50+ years, but miniaturizing the Doctor and putting him inside one is definitely one of the more brilliant ideas. I also really love the early version of the Twelfth Doctor, I love my grumpy, old alien and he’s at his peak in this one. But he’s also still struggling to find out if he is a good man or not and I really enjoyed that conflict that we saw in Peter’s first season. Rusty the Dalek plays a big part in that conflict and their dialogue makes me shiver even after watching it about 30 times.

4. The Magician’s Apprentice / The Witch’s Familiar

The Doctor riding a tank into a medieval castle while playing the electric guitar! Do I need to say more? Yes, I’m definitely going to say more, but, oh my God, that was probably one of my favourite moments of the entire show. I sat in front of my telly, gawking at the screen. There will never be a season opened better than this. You won’t believe how much I enjoyed watching it the first time and how much I am still enjoying it every time I watch this episode. The rest of the two-parter is anything but a let-down. I loved the Twelfth Doctor/Missy interactions in this one because up until the end of the episodes you can really see the former friendship, you can see just how long they have known each other, how much they meant to each other back then (I live for this kind of thing). Also, bringing back Davros is always a nice touch. Bringing back Skaro was amazing (and seeing the fear in Missy’s eyes when she realized where she was). The Clara/Missy duo was amazing. The Doctor pleading for Clara’s life on his knees when he thinks he’s about to lose her. Honestly, there isn’t anything that I don’t love about this two-parter. Add “The Doctor’s Meditation” to this and you’ll get 10 minutes of pure, silly fun as well.

3. Listen

This episode was the one where I decided that Twelve was my Doctor. In fact, it was the pre-intro scenes with him that showed him sitting on the TARDIS roof and talking to himself by candlelight that got me. But that’s not why I loved the episode. It was properly creepy. I love the creepy episodes the most and sadly, there has been a bit of a lack in those in recent years, but Listen was definitely one of the best. I first watched the leaked black and white version and even then it gave me chills. This episode also showed how much of an impact Clara really had on the Doctor (apart from getting him to save Gallifrey and asking the Time Lords to help him). She saw him as a young, frightened boy and she put those thoughts in his head that would accompany him for the rest of his life. It was a wonderful, little twist. I also really enjoyed the fact that we never got to know what the monster actually was. I love that some people believe it’s a kid under a bedspread and some (like me, cause I’ve paused and seen a screenshot of what looked like Voldemort) think it was an actual monster. Whatever it was, I’m glad we never got the solution handed to us. That makes it even more interesting to me.

2. Under the Lake / Before the Flood

I don’t think I’ve said it enough, but this two-parter is actually perfect. Everything about it is perfect. The Doctor and Clara are at their peak, they’re having their “glory years”. It’s very likely that there was a large time span between TMA/TWF and this two-parter because we see them in full action, we see them incredibly bonded, we see them trust each other completely. This is the first time we see how intense their relationship actually is (“If you love me in any way, you’ll come back”, “I’m changing history to save Clara.”). They are the perfect TARDIS duo in this one, but we also get a sense of foreshadowing as to what is going to happen to Clara in the future. The minor characters in this story are all perfect as well, I can’t say a single bad word about them. I normally don’t care about minor characters because I’ve learned that many of them end up dead anyway, but in this one, I can’t help but feel for them as well. As for the storyline and plot twist, it was a two-parter full of exciting moments and surprises with a lot of laughs and emotions thrown in as well. And the Fisher King was a great monster. Perfect television entertainment for a Saturday night that almost ended up being Nr 1 on my list.

1. Heaven Sent / Hell Bent

Heaven Sent is, in my opinion, Steven Moffat’s masterpiece and always will be. It felt like he was working his way up from The Eleventh Hour to culminate in the S9 finale with two episodes that actually managed to blow my mind. I am very critical when I’m watching TV and I’m not so easily impressed, but Heaven Sent actually blew my mind. Heaven Sent, an episode that is longer than usual, that features only one actor in only a handful of rooms and it’s the best damn thing I have ever seen on TV. During S10 I often complained about seeing the “plot twist” coming, but this one took me completely by surprise and broke my heart in the process. Oh, the tears I’ve shed over Heaven Sent! It’s that moment the Doctor realizes what he’s doing, what he’s been doing and for how long that always breaks me and it’s underlined by the most perfect Murray Gold score I’ve ever heard. And of course the big reveal that Gallifrey was waiting on the other end.

I think Heaven Sent / Hell Bent are the perfect depiction of the stages of grief in the Doctor’s 4.5 billion years quest to save Clara. And oh, how he did it! It’s not a secret that Clara has been my favourite companion from the moment she appeared on screen and after watching her become more and more like the Doctor over the course of the seasons, it was such a satisfaction to see her get her own TARDIS and run away. There is something so bitter-sweet, so emotional about this series finale and at the same time, it’s so full of twists and turns and surprises. It’s devastating and uplifting at once. In one word: perfect!

#whouffaldi #peter capaldi #twelfth doctor #doctor who #my top 10

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leaves-of-three · 7 years

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Day Three || Fucking Weird

Connor Murphy x Reader

Word Count: 2224

Summary: Reader runs into Connor during a vulnerable night. [This is part of an in progress series. You can follow along here.]

Warnings: Talk/Mention of a deceased parent (mother). Mention of OCD/Compulsive Counting. Mention of drugs (pills) which could potentially hint at suicidal tenancies in the future. For now they’re just simply mentioned. If anyone ever wants something added to a warnings list, please don’t hesitate to ask. <3

Connor Murphy. It was the one name that continued to bounce around your brain as you stared up at your dark ceiling. Glow stars, plastered across the roof from your childhood, gazed back down at you. On nights when you couldn’t sleep you would count the glowing stickers above. When you were seven, there had been 65. You remembered that number because you would count them every single night. It had become almost an obsessive part of your nighttime routine. At seven, your mom had passed away. That was when your obsessive behaviors started to really become more present in your life. You liked to count things. The number of stairs, the titles covering a floor, objects on a desk, telephone poles lining the street, the amount of steps it took from your bedroom to the bathroom...anything. Knowing the number of things calmed you. It distracted you from your own thoughts whenever they got too loud. 23 stars. There were 23 green, glowing stars above your head now. Some had fallen off over the years. The passing of time would claim all of them eventually. Time was no match for cheap, factory stickers. 42 stars fallen over the course of ten years. Everything falls eventually.

Connor hadn’t been at school today. It was only the third day. Three days. One, two, three. It couldn’t have been your fault, right? The look on his face when he saw you sitting with Evan yesterday was still burned into your memory. He seemed so...betrayed. He wasn’t your friend. You two were not friends. You had to stop overthinking everything. You needed to stop obsessing over this. Were you so desperate for a human connection that you would latch onto the first person who showed you an ounce of kindness? Let it go. Let him go. Leave the poor guy alone. His actions were not a reflection of anything you did. He was not your friend. Connor Murphy was not your friend.

Evan, however, had the potential to be something real. After you two had shared lunch, you realized you also shared the same Photography and AP Physics courses in the afternoons. He had been nice enough to fill you in on everything you missed from skipping class on the first day. He was nice. You signed his cast. It wasn’t perfect, he was a little awkward, but you needed a friend. He needed one too. It seemed to just work. Why was it that the rejected, left behind people always seemed to find their way to each other? Like magnets being pulled together. An invisible force making sure no one is ever left alone for too long. What did that make Connor then? Was he alone? Maybe your magnets were too similar that they ended up repelling instead of attracting...

A hard bit of plastic hit your forehead causing you to flinch in surprise. A single glowing star slid down your face and settled onto your chest. The old sticky tack on the back finally giving up. Twenty-two. You exhaled a lungful of air and rolled onto your side. The red lights of your alarm clock on the bedside table read 3:07 am. You had to wake up in less than three hours for school. You shoved your face into your pillow and let out a stifled scream. Sleep was not going to happen tonight. The bedroom walls felt like they were closing in on you. You pushed away the anxiety of not being able to sleep and got out of bed. This house was too small. You needed open space. Fresh air.

An over-sized hoodie, leggings, and a pair of old boots complimented your messy, unkempt, bedhead hair as you slipped out your front door. Your father wouldn’t notice you were gone. He never did. The chilly, wet night air filled your lungs. It had rained all night. Now the dark sky just spit out droplets of water at a more scattered pace. Your car rumbled to life with the turn of a key. The wipers jumped awake, flinging off the dotted layer of collected rain and wet leaves onto the driveway. You backed out and headed into the night. There was nothing more beautiful to you than driving alone in the dark with only the headlights to illuminate the way. You knew exactly where you were headed. No matter what roads you took, you always ended up at the same place. Everywhere lead to somewhere. And your somewhere was the lake.

Cracked Rock Lake was a destination spot for your town in the summer. It was a moderate sized body of water, good for swimming in the summer, fishing in the fall, and ice skating in the winter. It’s name was born from the large boulder jutting out of the water a few yards out. The rock formation had a deep groove splitting it down the middle. Kids would always use the crack to climb up to the top and jump off. Your mom used to bring you here when you were young. It was the last place the two of you had gone the weekend before she passed. It was one of your last happy memories as a kid. It would seem silly to say out loud but you liked to imagine your mother still lived on in the soul of the lake. You like to talk to her there when no one else was around.

An hour passed before you arrived. You had decided to drive down every back road you could find to delay your arrival. The silence in the car felt as familiar as a warm blanket and you didn’t want to give that up right away. A few porch lamps from surrounding houses danced light over the still, gloomy waters. A thin layer of mist inched across the sand blurring the line where the water met the beach. For a few more moments, you remained inside your car, staring out into the view. You were afraid that if you left the safety of your car that you might walk straight into the murky depths and never return. Eventually you braved the unknown and left your vehicle behind.

The rain had fully stopped now but you could still smell it lingering in the air as you walked over the pale sand. A small playground sat on the far right of the beach. It was nothing more than three swings, a metal slide, and a set of straight monkey bars but it was enough to entertain the children who visited the lake. At 4 in the morning, the playground would be all yours. You took a seat on the leftmost swing and rocked yourself back and forth. Your eyes closed as you allowed yourself to listen to each little noise. The lapping water, the creaking of rusty swing chains, your own shallow breaths...

“Hey, mom.” Your voice was nothing higher than a whisper. “I really miss you. This month really sucks. I wish you were here. I wish I could still talk to you...”

The sound of a lighter clicking on caused you to snap your eyes wide open in fear. A flickering flame illuminated the end of a cigarette as it gave off a faint glow. Someone was sitting under the slide directly to your right. Your hands gripped tighter onto the chains of the swing. They had to have know you were there. They would have heard you talking. You weren’t alone. Shadows cast whoever was hiding into a cloak of darkness. Only the red circular glow broke through the black. It wasn’t until a hand lifted the cigarette to their lips did the light reach their face.

“Connor?” You words fell out in disbelief. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, turning on the flashlight and shining it directly into his face to confirm your statement.

Sure enough, Connor Murphy sat huddled under the slide, cigarette in hand, squinting away from your light. “What the fuck, Y/N? Get that shit out of my face.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” you said as you dropped the light. A moment of silence passed before you spoke again, unsure of what to say. “...Why are you here?”

“I was here first. I could ask you the same damn question. Leave me alone.” He spit the words out at you. Your presence was obviously aggravating him. You tried not to let it phase you too much.

You gently nibbled on your bottom lip. “I don’t want to go. It’s a public place. I have every right to be here just as much as you.”

You heard him growl in frustration as a response. A second later, something flew past your head, narrowly missing you, and rolled onto the soft ground. It sounded like a bunch of tiny pebbles stuffed into a plastic cup. In the moonlight, you could see a small, orange pill bottle sticking out of the sand. It was filled with an assortment of oval drugs. You glanced from the pills to the dark slide. “My three year old cousin likes to throw things when he has a temper tantrum too.”

His response was fairly predictable. A simple, “Fuck you.”

You felt the corners of your mouth twitch into a smile. He wasn’t pleased you were here but he wasn’t leaving and neither were you. You walked your swing backwards until your feet could hardly touch the ground anymore then let yourself swing forwards. Wind blew through your hair the higher you pushed yourself. “Did you ever have that dream as a kid that one day you could swing all the way around the bar? Its pretty much impossible, especially with a slack chain. Still, kid’s never seem to stop trying.” He didn’t reply. You hadn’t expected him to.

You pumped yourself up as high as the sing would allow. The moment you hit the highest spot forward, you let your butt slip off the rubber and you soared feet first through the air. You were airborne for hardly a full second before you hit the ground. Your legs gave out under you and rolled across the soft sand before settling on your back to look up at the stars. Your chest rose and fell with adrenaline. From the corner of your eye, you saw Connor poke his head out from under the slide. His cigarette held limply between his lips as he cocked an eyebrow at you, shaking his head. “You’re fucking weird,” he mumbled before going back into hiding.

You stayed on your back, looking up at the world above. There weren’t too many stars to be found. The cloudy, rainy night had blocked most of them from view. Only the brightest of the bright were able to poke their way through. You followed them with your finger and invisibly connected the dots. You counted them as you did. One, two, three, four, five...the more you looked, the more stars began to appear to you. It was so much more beautiful than your bedroom ceiling. You eventually rolled onto your side, facing the lake with your back to Connor. He had stayed quiet and hidden from view anyway. His company didn’t pose a threat to yours though. It seemed you could both inhabit the same space without needing to interact. Your eyes floated across the water until they began to get heavy. Each time you blinked, your eyes would take longer to open back up again. At some point you decided just keep them closed.

The harsh sound of a car horn jerked you awake. Sun flooded your eyes and you groaned, turning to hide your face into your pillow. Instead of the expectancy off a soft pillow, you got a face full of sand. You sputtered and sat up, looking around. Confusion plastered your expression.

Lake. You were at the Cracked Rock Lake. The events of last night came back to you as the sleep was blown away with a soft breeze. Connor had been here too. You looked behind you, back to the slide. In the light of day it was easy to see that he was no longer under there. You turned to your other side and there he was.

He was sitting an arms length away, his shoes planted in the sand, staring out at the water with hollow eyes ringed with dark circles. In his hand was the pill bottle he had thrown at you at some point last night. His thumb flicked the white cap open and shut. For the first time you noticed his nails were painted with chipped black polish. You focused in on his hands, tranced by the repetitive movements between the cap and his thumb. His skin was pale and his fingers were long and skinny. Piano hands. That’s what your mom would have called them.

One, flick up, two, flick down, three, flick up, four, flick down, five, flick up, six, flick down. You waited for seven but it never came. His hand closed around the pill bottle and you realized he was staring at you. You blinked up to meet his gaze. It occurred to you that maybe the reason he hadn’t left yet was because of you. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to leave you alone on the beach in middle of the night. Maybe Connor Murphy was your friend.

“...Do you want to get breakfast?”

A minuscule smile cracked his stony expression.

#connor murphy #connor murphy imagine #connor murphy x reader #dear evan hansen imagine #dear evan hansen #deh #deh fic

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graveyardbirds · 7 years

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Forsakers

(Construction workers demolishing skyscrapers in a future Kuala Lumpur ruined by climate change are pitted against a deadly enemy and each other.)

Publication history: “Forsakers: in HEAT: A Southeast Asian Anthology by Fixi Novo (2016)   Forsakers

Under Kuala Lumpur’s zinc alloy sky, Serik had a captive audience in birds and men. Three falcons perched on a rusty overhead I-beam watched him in the afternoon heat – while the foreman and other demolition workers laid watch on him watching the falcons.

“Better than World Cup!” Omar proclaimed as he took bets from the group gathered on the opposite rooftop. He collected the cigarettes and meal vouchers and stuffed them into his hip-pouch. The grand prize was a carton of Marlboro Lights.

Omar still operated out of a habit left over from working the golf and race courses in Doha and Dubai. He had been a caddy and a camel rider, until androids and drones replaced him. Sensing the men’s scrutiny, the falcons squawked and flapped their wings every few seconds. Most were female birds, captured and trained for their bigger talons. If they attack the men, they go for the eyes.

Appraising the situation, Serik raised his gloved fist and yelled, “Hoy!” The falcons scattered and dispersed through the wide spaces in the scaffolding. But it was not the sound of Serik’s voice that startled them. The foreman took off his visors and pointed to a larger bird circling in the warm updrafts rising from the concrete.

Kantubit, a two-year- old female golden eagle trained by Serik, swooped down and intercepted a falcon in mid-flight before returning to Serik. She deposited the now lifeless falcon at his feet and landed on his outstretched forearm. Serik looped the leash over her neck. He had cleared the falcons for the day. Now scared away, there was no need to send Kantubit after the others. Omar sighed as he noted the outcome in his crumpled exercise book: none of the men had bet on the killing of one falcon. The team was now free to enter the gutted office tower block and continue stripping it.

“Ignore the bodies,” the foreman always instructed them, but it was unnecessary. In order to do their jobs, the workers had gone numb inside. Some of the newer team members vomited over the ledge at the sight of the victims: other demolition workers.

“Damned hawks,” the foreman spat.

“Not hawks,” Serik corrected the foreman. “The small bird is falcon. Shumkar-”

“All I need to know is how many of them and where they are,” he cut Serik off, before barking orders to the crew via megaphone.

“Show’s over. Cepatlah! You guys think you’re on Discovery Channel?”

The Indonesian crew had nicknamed the foreman ‘Tuan Badak’. As Serik watched him walk off the demolition site, he thought, More like a bulldozer than an old rhinoceros.

After evening prayers, Omar recalled camel racing in Dubai, while Kuala Lumpur lay in darkness below and the workers sat on the roof of the office tower.

“Whoosh!” Omar supplied his own sound effects, as he acted out a camel race, pumping his arms to mimic the remotely controlled plastic whips attached to robot jockeys’ motors. Serik scanned the dark sky for Kantubit.  Back home, Serik’s golden eagle hunted with him for three years before he released her. After a successful hunt, he brought the wolf or fox to his grandmother, where she prepared the pelt. He took the anklets and jesses off the eagle’s feet and poured a bowl of milk in front of her as a sign of gratitude.

“You’re special. Saving our lives everyday. Respect, my brother!” Omar slapped Serik’s shoulder. Serik felt that anyone who owed Omar money and a packet of cigarettes was his ‘brother’.

“I am just berkutchi, a hunter.” Serik turned his eyes up to the stars. Orion winked at the city through the wispy haze. He suddenly craved shubat, although he had disliked the sour fermented camel’s milk as a child. Meat roasting in a nearby oil drum stirred up longings for manti dumplings filled with ground lamb.

Omar emptied a packet of oral re-hydration salts into his water flask and said, “We need a little ‘special’ sometimes or we all go crazy at work. Just like Erxat.”

Serik frowned at the memory and held out his hand for a cigarette. Omar slipped Serik two, but he always tucked the extra stick back into Omar’s pouch. It was their little routine.  #

When Serik was a boy, his elder brother fell off his horse and gored his head. The wound swelled up like a goat’s infected bladder by the time the red-cheeked shayki, a wandering shaman, entered their yurta. As the shayki performed tsat-tsah incantations, his mother clutched her hands over her chest, knelt and lowered her forehead to the parched grass and prayed to Tengri, the sky god. Three nights passed until he opened his eyes.

Serik never asked his mother what she prayed for in exchange for his brother’s life. She died when the Shining Dust blew from the ashes of Lake Balkhash, and rotted her lungs and what remained of the family’s herds. His brother survived for two more summers working in Nepal. He took a bus and crossed the border into Mongolia. On Zaisan Hill overlooking Ulaanbaatar, a tent city gang stabbed him for his stash of yarchagumba, the rare and highly prized cordyceps fungus.

His mother had made a trade with the spirits, exchanging Serik’s fortune for an extra two years of his brother’s life. Broken early, the rest of his brother’s time on Earth was like a limb not set right, and finally amputated on Zaisan Hill. Serik remembered him being more useless than a hunting dog – too lazy to holler foxes and wild cats from their hiding places, while Serik beat and threw stones to drive out prey.

Serik seized the opportunity to work in Malaysia. New fracking and mining money had built most of the newer cities in Kazakhstan, but those agencies in Astana only hired young men. Yet destruction was as important as construction; the agency told Serik that older men were more suited for demolition work.

When Serik and Erxat, a 33-year-old from Almaty, arrived at the rundown Kuala Lumpur International Airport terminal a guide shunted them into a waiting van. Through the grilled windows, Serik watched the highways transmute into abandoned office towers and sprawling malls. Sentimental nostalgia on behalf of the real estate moguls delayed the tearing down of some buildings in Kuala Lumpur.

Before he left, Serik promised his fiancée, Guli, that he would be home in time to celebrate Nowruz. That was six months ago. His passport was still with the agent in Kuala Lumpur, who promised the workers new digital ones from their respective embassies when they paid off travel expenses and other debts. That was also six months ago.

Erxat had fared worse than Serik. A clerical error caused the agency to mistakenly list him as deceased. When he finally went home a year later, his wife had screamed at him, outside what was to have been their yurta, “Why didn’t you stay dead? I don’t have to give back our compensation payment!”

Erxat returned to Kuala Lumpur, but his work slipped. The explosives team found him high on heroin under a bridge near Masjid Jamek. In hospital, Serik observed that Erxat had more stab marks than his brother. He asked Erxat if he had resolved matters with his wife; he shrugged and tried to give Serik his dented wedding ring. Within a week, Omar and two Bangladeshis found Erxat at the base of an electrical pylon, not picked clean like other animals. As if the shumkar were contemptuous of easy prey.

“Erxat is free,” Serik said to Omar on the office roof by way of consolation, but it was not quite true. Erxat had obtained release. It was not the same as freedom, but better than nothing.

The heat was never good for work. All morning, men labored up and down the fire escape, hacking away at remaining doors and plaster walls with fire axes. Other men wielded oxyacetylene torches to cut through steel braces on each story, as a precursor to using other wrecking equipment.

On the lookout for more falcons, Serik remained on the roof. Kantubit spread her black primary feathers and dug her talons into the thick glove on his forearm.

“Patience,” he chided her. The falcons didn’t attack in the late afternoon, preferring to strike at dusk.

Silence enveloped the remaining steel and glass high-rises around the office tower. Shamans always said everything was alive. Serik wondered if buildings had their own spirits. If people died during demolition, were their ghosts added to the myriad?

Serik’s childhood memories resurfaced sometimes, as hunts and treks across the Kazakh Steppe at sunrise.

“Humans keep trying to fly higher than their Creator,” Grandfather used to observe every time he saw distant orange flares of space shuttles being launched from sites on the horizon.

“It’s progress,” Serik’s father would shrug. “Not when they start changing the weather. These recent late winters are bad for our herds.” For Serik, to recall what it was like in the past was pointless. He had only looked to the future, but progress was not development. Humans also tried out-creating their Creator. These shumkar were not falcons but demons created in the name of ‘progress’.

Around the world, cities with large pigeon populations began using falcons for pest control. Kuala Lumpur had been no different, until rich urbanites and the upper-middle class started taking up falconry for sport. Smuggling into Malaysia began when the demand for wild birds increased; they were deemed better hunters than those raised in captivity. Serik had heard of the black market in Kazakhstan, but could never believe it: smuggling eggs in ice boxes or tranquilized birds of prey over the border to Xinjiang, China.

Stress destroyed their immune systems, made the birds vulnerable to opportunistic pathogens. For the smuggled raptors, one was a certain fungus called aspergillus fumigatus, attacking the bird’s defenses and spreading throughout the respiratory system. One strain of the fungus mutated, not only infecting the shumkars’ lungs but also their brains and behavior, making them more aggressive.

During a day off, he and Nilam, a Bangladeshi engineering graduate from Dhaka, were exploring an abandoned bungalow in the Bangsar suburb, in the hope of salvaging remnants of the previous occupants’ lives. Serik found stacks of brochures extolling vacation getaways and eco-refuges off the coast of Terengganu. He kept one brochure because it had photos of Malaysian white-bellied sea eagles nesting in one of these places.

“Listen,” said Nilam, and both men heard flapping and piteous cries coming from the basement. They found a golden eagle chained to a perch in the darkened room. Her feet had been bound with plastic cable ties that cut into her feet, and the toes were swollen with infection. When Serik felt her flight muscles, they were soft. There was no telling how long she had been in her prison.

Serik wrapped the eagle in a tarpaulin cloth and took her back to the accommodation. Tuan Badak exploded with rage when Serik took the eagle into his office the next day but it did not matter. Serik told him of his skills as a berkutchi back in Kazakhstan and of a new plan for clearing condemned buildings of shumkar. Tuan Badak listened. The constant loss of workers looked bad on his track record.

Kantubit took off from Serik’s arm, soaring up into the twilight. Given her condition, Serik would have to release her soon. For her age she should not be ill, but something didn’t sound right in her lungs. Serik feared her ordeal had permanently weakened her, despite his painstaking care and nursing.

A large, matte black dragonfly hovered at the sixth and seventh levels, darting low before ascending high. Serik and Omar heard Tuan Badak laugh for the first time since they met him.

“Tuan Badak has a new toy,” remarked Nilam over the walkie-talkie.

“Copy,” replied Serik with disdain. An eagle could outmaneuver any drone because its brain made continuous adjustments in flight and speed.

“Serik! See me in my office after work!” Tuan Badak’s voice nearly broke the walkie-talkie loudspeaker. “Copy,” sighed Serik.

In the laboring air-conditioning of Tuan Badak’s office, Serik decided that if he was a shumkar, he would attack the foreman the same way as the other falcons: anchor talons to the shoulders and peck out his oily eyes, while simultaneously shitting in the mouth to add insult to injury.

“Your eagle – get rid of it,” said Tuan Badak, leaning back in his worn, neoprene-cushioned chair.

“But you said…?”

“That was then, this is now. More drones will be coming tomorrow.”

Serik kept quiet, trying to think of a reply to this new information. Tuan Badak mistook it for obstinacy.

“Get rid of your eagle now. Or find another job.” The screen door slammed shut as Serik strode out.

After lunch break, Omar glimpsed Serik as he disappeared into the office tower lobby, running past workers stepping off a bus.

“I know what Boss Badak said to you!”  “You can’t help me!” Serik replied, waiting for the lift to take him to the rooftop.

“There’s always a way.” said Omar.

“You’re right,” Serik nodded as both of them got into the lift, “I must let her go now.”

A message alert pinged in Omar’s pocket. He took out his phone and read the SMS from Nilam.

“Brother, don’t go up to the roof. Please.” Omar’s voice wavered.

Serik heard gunshots as the lift opened. As if Tengri was splitting the sky in half.

Serik scrambled on to the roof, searching for Kantubit. He saw eagle feathers – brown, white and black – scattered on the cement floor. Nilam was taking cover behind an exhaust vent.

“Tuan Badak now gone amok!” Nilam muttered as he shielded his face from the sun and possible incoming bullets. When Nilam saw the rage in Serik’s eyes he realized that fury was not necessarily explosive; it can be endothermic and drain the heat from the surroundings.

The foreman was on the roof, reloading a pump-action shotgun.  “Hoy!” cried Serik, clenching his fists.

The foreman spun around and did not lower the gun. “I told you to get rid of the eagle! I always hate it when my men don’t listen!”

Serik approached him, hoping that a worker’s serious injury or even death on the job would get Tuan Badak arrested. No such effect: a bullet missed Serik and ricocheted off the exhaust vent.

Kantubit’s body lay on the ledge. Her leash was still around her neck and the white secondary feathers of her wings were soaked with blood. Serik scooped her up and cradled her under his arm.

“Get off my site!” roared Tuan Badak in disgust.

Serik took hold of Kantubit’s leash and swung her body at the foreman. In death, she was still majestic as her wings spread out to full breadth. Tuan Badak’s face turned pale as he backed away from Serik. He tugged again and aimed the eagle like a sling. The foreman screamed as Kantubit’s legs jerked forward and her talons scratched his face.

Omar and Nilam did not see Tuan Badak fall off the roof, but they heard his long scream, distorted and getting fainter as he neared the ground below. Both men heard a final muffled thump and a metallic clanking as the body landed on a pile of steel pipes and cables.

All work on the site ceased. Serik stood on the ledge and Nilam yanked him back.

“Don’t let them see you!”

Omar tried to release Serik’s white-knuckled grip on Kantubit’s leash, but the fingers refused to budge.

“Leave now,” advised Omar.

Nilam shoved Serik towards the fire escape door on the roof. Omar reached into his hip-pouch and took out a packet of cigarettes, oral rehydration salts, and a wad of notes. He handed the items to Serik and said, “This is my ‘special’ for you, brother. Now go!”  # Running down the stairs, Serik wrapped Kantubit in his jacket. Descending floor after floor, he suddenly remembered the brochure with photos of the place of the white-bellied sea eagles.

According to the information on its pages, Terengganu was only a short bus journey out of Kuala Lumpur. With any luck, he would get to bury Kantubit at sea and find some sanctuary before trying to return home.

Sanctuary was not freedom, but for Kantubit, Serik was willing to find a sense of belonging.

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