#also riven: this person complimented me what do i do???

[whenshesayshush]

hi, guess who? your secret santa came back to thank you for putting so much effort and love into answering the previous ask

can neither deny nor confirm if i had been involved into creating the playlist but i'm certainly no stranger to some of the songs

i was looking more for the headcanons that are simple and somewhat childish but still essential for understanding the character as in his preferences (color, music) or type of a person (zodiac sign, mbti and similar), any kind of associations are also fine

you gave me enough of them but if there's still something to unleash i'm all ears

also i'd want you to go back to the question about the scenes you consider show riven's personality best and pick a quote or two or three you like the most

can be from other scenes too but the ones you've already named rely so much on the conversation part that it feels right to pick some lines from those ones

Welcome back, dear Santa! It's been my pleasure, hope you enjoy the playlist!

I've been wondering how to answer this next ask in line with the previous ones — film myself re-enacting the quotes, perhaps? But alas, I'm not a good actor, and I disagree with people who say I have a nice voice, so I won't be recording an audio performance either🙊 I'm actually having a really busy week, and I don't want to make you wait any longer, so I'll just answer this one the regular way and hope you're not too bitterly disappointed:

S1E3: the sparring scene and the ensuing conversation where he tries to actually be a friend to Sky always struck me as quite genuine for S1 Riven

"What, Riven gets a compliment and all of a sudden Silva has brain damage?"

S1E4: the argument with Sky where we learned a lot about his underlying motivations

"She's the only person in this damn school who likes me as is."

S2E1: the scene where he expresses doubts about Silva’s punishment and keeps his mouth shut when he sees the escape attempt happening

"Do you really have no doubts? How the hell do you have no doubts?"

S2E5: whether you choose to see it as shippy or not, the conversation he has with Musa on the running tracks is genuinely caring and honest

"Your life is your life. You can live it how you want. Fսck everybody else."

I will say though, although I would consider these the quotes I like most from those scenes, I wouldn't say they're my favorite Riven quotes in general, so here's a few contenders for that as well:

"Fun fact: if everyone around you is a nightmare, it’s not them." (S01E03)

"Oh I'm sorry, I'll be more delicate next time I'm saving your ass from fucking monsters." (S02E05)

"Specialists aren't just randoms who are picked up off the street. We're selected. We train for years. And you think you can just come here and in a couple of days figure it out? It's insulting. You could get hurt, Musa. Or worse, killed. And it's dangerous to everyone else. So go ahead, play dress up. It's not like there's more important things going on." (S02E06)

As always, I'll be here if there's more you want to know, dear Santa! And I hope you're having fun working on your HEX because that's the most important thing💕

[exfury]

' you have such pretty white hair, lady. it reminds me of the icefoxes i used to be around. '

   The compliment surprised her. Being more used to either indecent remarks or looks of reproach, it wasn’t something she had expected to hear. After tugging a strand of the said hair behind her ear, she’d let out an awkward chuckle.

   “ Thanks. ”  She’d reply, trying to hide her uneasiness behind a smile.  “ It’s the first time someone compares it to the fur of an icefox. “

   She’d never been good with dealing with compliment, not knowing how to properly react, and this time was no exception

[sinnersandsaints-linwrites]

hi! hope you’re doing well. i am a big fan of your current work.

i was wondering how the RO’s would react to an mc so full of self loathing, insecurity, & constant guilt that every single day is a mental fight just to find any, singular reason to love themselves. an mc that is so afraid to upset the people they care about that they’ve learned to say “yes” & “okay” to everything because they’re so afraid of disappointing their loved ones, to the point where they bury everything down and no matter how bad they want to talk to someone about it, they feel that deep down they just physically can’t. an mc that does a deceptively amazing job at hiding it all, that feels bad after every little mishap they could have avoided. one that loves fiercely and passionately, yet harbors none of that same love towards themselves. when would the RO’s catch on? what would happen?

sorry if this was oddly specific, or just too much. i’ve just been thinking about it all day.

hello dear, hope everything is going good (or will be better!) <3

when would the RO’s catch on?

I'd say all of them caught on fairly soon - especially Khari & Riven who are (against their will tbh) more sensitive to people's true emotions. Morgan knows the game, so they'd recognise the familiar things, Roan and Sage are just scarily good at reading people this way. Ariel and Sasha's been there, for a while, so they would recognise it because of that.

what would happen?

Few things;

Khari would stage an intervention - MC is getting help, now. Therapy, counselling or at least talking to someone about all this is a must. They'd approach from the side of "if you don't want to help yourself, then think what could happen if this affects your work - your work that is about keeping others safe."

Roan is the one to take more gentle and compassionate approach - offering their ear, their arm to cry on, or easy activities that could take MC's mind off of things. They'd make themself more accessible to the MC, always there to help with anything, listen and be their rock.

Morgan would take the approach of 'if you think its okay for you to do it, it's okay for me to do it too' so all of their dark and similar thoughts would now be voiced - loudly. Want them to stop? Too bad, they'll get help when MC does. Is it fair/healthy? No, but if it works, it works, and that's all they care about.

Ariel would sit down the MC and explain how they felt (the same) for several decades. How it influenced their personality, life, decisions, relationships. How they broke out of it, and that they are more than willing to help. In between all that would be, of course, many compliments and words of affirmation directed at the MC, as well as a few "it pains me to see you hate the person I love so much."

Sage has a very unique way of approaching this - they'd straight up bully MC into loving themself. Aggressive comments, vague threats, that sorts of things. "Who gave you the right to look this divine?" "How dare you be this smart?" "Are you trying to start a fight with me over how perfect you are? We both know I'd win." But, their hidden weapon is "[Name], I murdered people. I think we both know who's the better person between the two of us."

Riven does their best to show MC how they view the MC. How beautiful they see the MC, how brave do they think they are, how kind, strong, smart, etc. And they are willing to do it 24/7. Constant texts, calls, left sticky notes, surprise visits, as well as sad puppy eyes and "please stop insulting the person I love/my best friend."

Sasha attacks with aggressive positivity - and it's just what it sounds like. MC is about to be flooded with compliments, affection, praise, words of affirmation. Will also get threats such as "if you make a self-deprecating joke or statement, I will platonically or romantically compliment you for an hour straight. for. every. joke. or. statement."

[septemberrie]

8, 11 & 33!

8. How slow is a slow burn?

Hard for me to put a quantitative number here because I'm not so concerned with number of words or length of time that passes in a story--what I want to see is the actual growth of the characters towards each other. As long as I can fully feel and grasp the beats of each character's progression of feelings, it can be as short as a 10k one shot and I'll be happy. So, I would say somewhere between there and the current 90k length of the masterpiece WIP Fenice. :D

11. Three tropes that are fine but overrated.

Aw fuck now I gotta research tropes. Okay I guess for me...

Friends to lovers. It scratches the itch for some people and that's great! But having never personally experienced it before I just can't grok it lol. For me it's either instant chemistry (good or bad) or y'all just chill as friends. Plus I prefer reading stories that dive headfirst into interpersonal conflict and I haven't found (or really sought out, tbh) that in friends-to-lovers.

Songfic. Don't get me wrong I have read some great songfic. I think it's just a limitation of the fanfiction medium because where do you put the song? At the front, kind of spoiling the fic? In the middle, where it creates awkward reading breaks? At the end, where I'll be honest I'm just skimming the author notes? Also I am so so bad at listening to lyrics myself so songfic is just a world unto itself that my auditory processing excludes me from.

And this is sorta nitpicky but while I love casefic I can easily get annoyed if the plot becomes needlessly complicated so the author can throw off readers, or if the characters start acting like they're in a casefic. It's so hard for me to articulate but when characters that would otherwise be minding their business become amazing sleuths that think three steps ahead of absurdly villainous criminals it just loses me (but honestly I'm fine if it's a Detective AU. I told you I'm nitpicky).

33. Give your writing a compliment.

Aw fuck 😭 I see what you're doing now.

Um... I think I have a pretty good grasp of conveying characters' states of being through description. For example, writing about how they carry themselves, what they say and how they say it, the rest of their body language. I remember I had written like 500 words of Riven leaning into Musa's touch, reveling in how she felt against him, how weird it was to touch her, etc. And a commenter wrote [paraphrased] "Wow I can't imagine how touch starved he was! Poor meow meow." and I just sat there like... wow, that's so true, he is touch starved! But it never actually occurred to me while I was writing, the literal thought "Riven is touch starved." I just knew to write Riven as liking and needing that touch. This sounds backhanded but I was honestly really thrilled that I was able to convey the right state of Riven's being without consciously thinking about it. And while I would like to be able to think to myself "Riven is touch starved, how should I write that?" instead of just do it lol, I think it is better writing to be able to write 500 words about being touch starved rather than writing "Riven was so touch starved he leaned into Musa."

Also, I think I write some pretty kickass whump 😌

Writing Asks

[zacksfairest]

Vaela and Eravin~ And for my own personal amusement and to hurt my feelings, Vaela and Delethil 3:)

Oh, how I hate you.

This one ALSO got long. Goddamnit.

Vaela and Eravin would almost be comical. Just hear me out: Vaela is dense as a brick. You think Riven was dense when it comes to both Eravin's and Delethil's feelings for her? Vaela's only experience with romance is Zaresh, and while we know that was, uh, ill fated, Zaresh was overt in his "affections." He lavished Vaela in flowery compliments and gentle caresses and fine gifts, all accompanied by some nauseating anecdote:

"These emerald earrings could not possibly compare to your lovely eyes, my dear Vaela," he would say, "but if I were to wait to come upon a gem comparable to their shade, I fear I would never gift you with anything at all."

Yeah, poor girl didn't really stand a chance against this serial killer.

Anyway, were Eravin to have interest in Vaela, she'd never guess it. Wouldn't even cross her mind. He restrung her bow for her? That was nice of him. Must've been annoying him, the fine craftsman that he is. He made her a set of custom arrows? Riven must've told him she was running low. He mumbled out some kind of compliment the day Vaela decides to wear one of the finer items of clothes Riven gifted her? That was sweet of him.

Yeah. You see where this is going.

She would have to be straight out told that Eravin had feelings for her, not unlike Riven. And there's no chance of Vaela even allowing herself to catch feelings first. She knows of his history with Riven (the most recent revelation of Eravin's feelings for her aside), and would never even dream that someone who had been within Riven's orbit for so long would even spare her a passing glance.

And even if Eravin's interest were to somehow get back to her, surely he would immediately be turned off by her, uh, history. Everything Zaresh did to her is going to weigh heavily on both her mind and self-esteem for a very, very long time. Possibly forever. And Eravin would have to be cool with that, and be prepared to help her combat those very dark thoughts and insecurities.

Were we to get past all of these roadblocks? I really think they'd be a charming couple. As Liz has said, he's the complete antithesis to Zaresh, which would probably do Vaela a world of good. She needs to know that Zaresh isn't the standard, and that there are quieter, more gentle loves to be had, that not every man gets caught up in an obsession so bloody and frightening.

And Vaela would never, ever hurt Eravin the way he was hurt in the past. Vaela can be a kinda snide and vain and more than a little haughty, but never toward people she cares about. She'd rather die than cause any kind of hurt or distress in someone dear to her.

I cannot believe you're making me address this next one.

In the campaign plot/storyline, in order for Del and Vaela to even REMOTELY be a possibility, Zaresh has to have never been a thing. Vaela sees too much of Zaresh in Delethil and it scares and angers her. His charm comes too easily, and she knows from what Riven has told her that he is manipulative and underhanded. Nothing good comes from that, she is the living proof of it.

I can say that without Zaresh in the picture, Vaela would be easily taken in by Del. That obnoxious charm and devious nature would ensnare her from the first moment he so much as looked her way. Though I wonder if he'd even be able to stomach her snobbishness and vanity. She may be a wood elf, but that might be too moon elfy for his tastes.

We get a taste for this in the Drow!AU, though, and I still desperately want to explore it.  I think Del would enjoy giving Vaela a crash course in wood elf culture and helping her reconnect with her people.  She is very much a wood elf through and through, and he would probably see that.  She just needs a proper education.

I imagine that he’d have a bit of fun having a Ranger partner, too.  Rogues and Rangers work so well together, both have a hunting instinct to them and know how to travel swiftly and silently.  They would probably be good foils for each other.

Yeah.  We need to do more with the Drow!AU.  If only to get both Riven and Zaresh’s hackles up. >:)

[sputnikissweet]

Thoughts on “Fate: The Winx Club Saga”

My last Winx related post got good feedback :)!! and i swear i’ll post more on other stuff but there are just some things i wanna get off my chest. this is also lengthy.. oops

also gifs aren’t mine!!!

let’s start off with characters

MUSA

Netflix, do y’all just hate Musa... Her powers are so downplayed. it’s utterly disappointing.

I understand that Musa is the emotional girl out of all of them but they took that and ran with it. I’m just not a big fan of the whole mind fairy thing because every fairy can connect to things that’s based on what kind of fairy they are.

she can do SO MUCH MORE. She can literally control sound waves.. She is Vanya Hargreeves in fairy form yet all she does now is feel others emotions.. cool.

Fairies (regardless of specialties) can also read aura’s and some can connect with their given specialities (Flora w plants) so a mind fairy serves no helpful purpose compared to the others?

STELLA

The reason Stella was popular was because despite being a spoiled princess, she was still the nicest and most welcoming person ever. She never used it against people. ( I mean the Solarians were literally so confused when they were reporting how Stella was evil during Valtor’s reign)

It felt more like Diaspro with Stella trendencies.

Stella was literally the one who convinced Bloom to go to Alfea and was so patient with her. She even had Bloom fake being her friend in the original just so she could attend alfea but this stella willingly put her life in danger.. FOR A BOY???

Yes Stella was a bit boy crazy but she wasn’t really serious with any of them except for Brandon so she would not have tried to kill Bloom for Sky. Who wrote that and for what??

That is not Queen Luna, that’s countess Cassandra 2 seasons early.

Why did they have to give her mom issues like Bloom? Her mom was her emotional support from the little bits we saw her? Her parents not giving her attention on top of upcoming issues with her dad would’ve been interesting enough.

Also the whole ring thing was a major thing and they just touched on it then never again, just don’t mention it then..?

A bit morbid but i think the whole blinding her best friend plot has potential.. hear me out... for her enchantix, especially when she can use the dust. But netflix if you include enchantix, please do not butcher it.. please.

She had such a sunny disposition and it was only ever her teasing that upset the girls at times but she was mostly at the core of each other their problems. She may look exactly how i pictured stella but she is the farthest thing from.

also stella getting her strength from anger? who is this?

AISHA

Please tell me how Aisha would be the teacher’s pet-

She’s the one who literally ran away from a marriage and was breaking all these princess streotypes- She’s very strong willed and would not have kissed ass to authority figures (except for mermaid guards of course)

AISHA WOULD NOT HAVE SNITCHED AND THAT GOES FOR ALL OF THEM I DO NOT CARE

her outfits weren’t bad though, i think she was the best dressed next to Beatrix.

TERRA

Why were they so rude to her-

I still wish she was a WOC because then her brother and dad would’ve been too so just a chance for more representation then netflix just turned a blind eye to

Where did her storyline go- We saw her being insecure in the first two(?) episodes and Musa saying Stella is everything she wants to be and then Riven and Dane just make fun of her for the rest of the episodes then Stella tries to compliment her? I feel like there was so much material to work with and make into a powerful arc or moment but they just swept it under the rug and pulled off something quick.

I like her character though, she’s a huge softie and a lot like her cousin, let’s not hate on her oo much cause Flora would not have condone it

BLOOM

Why is this Bloom so angsty

Actually OG Bloom was too but i feel like they tried making her so seem “mysterious” and if you’re mysterious, apparently you can’t be nicer?

I wish we saw her more vulnerable cause i liked that Bloom was such a badass but always cried HAHAH you know what i mean?

WHY WAS SHE DRESSED IN HER REGULAR CLOTHES WHEN HER WINGS APPEARED PLEASE AT LEAST GIVE HER SMT A BIT MORE FITTING FOR THE LITERAL “ANCIENT” TRANSFORMATION-

Disrespect Vanessa- No.

Okay i think there’s potential in the changeling thing but i think Mike originally finding her in a burning house and saving her is so heartwarming :((

this is related to bloom so i’ll keep it here... WHERE IS DAPHNE!!!

not gonna lie tho, the actress is exactly how i imagined bloom irl

bloomerang... i’ll leave this here.

OTHER CHARACTERS // MISC.

Rosalind and Dowling were two evil and eviler versions of Faragonda. Not even they were just split Albus Dumbledores and one is enough for all universes.

Beatrix is woke ig..? I like her style tho and the actress is pretty good. Also like how by the finale it’s kind of known that she’s a witch and not a fairy so ancestral witches storyline? I’m also not mad they made her one character, it fit better for the story they were going for.

BRING BACK CLOUD TOWER!! NOT ALL WITCHES ARE BITCHES (mainly mirta)

I know Riven is an ass but it was d r a g g e d. Like let’s lead this guy on! Oh and do drugs on campus! I’m 16 btw but let’s get drunk every other scene! Not to shame though.

I just don’t like Sam, he was boring to me and contributed nothing. sorry

Dane had potential to be a great self discovery story but no let’s make him fat shame Terra because that’ll be cute! no.

It’s just weird to think that Sky’s father abandoned him to raise a completely different child.. I don’t- yeah..

Kiko is- oh wait he wasn’t there.

Why are they on instagram? If anything, they would’ve probably had something wayyy more advanced.

Adding more fire fairies just lessened the stakes of Bloom’s whole reasoning for trying to master the powers of the dragon flame because she was the only one left so she had no choice but Fate makes it easier to argue that she was just being selfish when in WC, it had to be done.

I do like male fairies and female specialist, power! but i wish they kept the schools separate.

I know everyone says this but.. their outfits could’ve given us another Euphoria like moment and they wasted that opportunity. I mean seriously, you put Bloom in Brandy Melville?

SHIPS

I wish SkyxBloom was more slow burn and had more build up. It was reasonable but idk the pace still seemed a bit fast.

There should be no world where SkyxBloomxStella would exist. Not in this or any other worlds.

MusaxSam was just boring.

TerraxDane just no.

wheres nabu for aisha? actually, respectfully do not let the same people cast Nabu and Helia because i just don’t trust y’all-

RivenxBeatrix, eh follows the og plot but i wasn’t really a fan of it back then too.

RivenxDane, seems queerbaity? maybe it was intentionally set up that way for development but it rubs me off wrong.

[curiositybox]

Cloud Watches: 

Fate: Winx saga Ep 5

ooof Beatrix bby. you be eeeevil but i kinda loooove it xD low key, high key love her

the sass jokes hahaha

is that Riven... given Terra... a genuine compliment? . . . . is this. . . character development. . . ?

aww he’s sad over Bee! and questioning his sexuality xD good.

oooh flashback

hmm i wonder what happened for them to isolate Rosalind

oh they’re learning...

awww Terra misses Stella. HEEEY TUMBLR REFERENCE. XD

ooof Aisha... i wish Bloom believed you but i also get why she doesn’t

YAY TIME TO SEE THE BEATRIX BAE

hahaha motherfucker

can’t trust anyone Bloom.

need a bunny. i miss kiko.

oooh evil spellbook

don’t you fucking flirt with her Riven. EmoteMusa is taken.

HAHAHAHA NAH. where’s the fun in that. lol walking red flags xD the level of laugh

aw i love that. “just cause not an empath doesn’t mean i don’t have empathy.” that’s amazing.

anger sex. WELP NEVERMIND... terra was that you?

STELLA! YOOOO. i mean i didn’t like her but eh feels a but empty without all her issues

iS A BOOK.

...bloom... he is trying to apologise and explain for fucks sake shut up and listen.

oooh... Stella lost control... so that’s what happened... been waiting for this for 5 episodes that is so fucked up... no parent can parent continuing.

wow Dane has become such a prick.

hahaha where were these type of agression before

at least Bloom’s finally opening up a bit towards someone. yay

hahahaha “you cold?”

i literally MAKE FIRE

Now kiss... cause we all know you will

aND KISS!

oh shiny thing

OH WOW HONEY. YOU DRUGGED EM. ngl, didn’t see that comming.

these Burned ones still confuse me a bit like i feel like what if they were responsible for the burned ones to begin with... Astadel..

oh my glob... they travel in packs now... o boye

oof Bloome gunna pop off... wht is... o shit she switched the gem

Thank You Musa. Stella fucking do it!

HAHAHHAHAHA. well Bloom time to come clean i guess. just put all the shit you know on a platter and see what happens i guess

oh Rosalind manipulating them? oh.. FINALLY TELL ME WHATS GOING IN FINALLY

why did no one think to combine magic before tho? that’s silly

geesus that’s.... fucking insane... that’s mad

BEATRIX BBY IM SORRY UR STAYING IN THERE.

Bloom pls don’t do anything stupid. just wait a day.

Aisha why no agree tho.

bEATRIX BBY HELLO

okay forest. le go!

AISHA NO FUCK

ooof. Stella.

NOOO BEATRIX MY BBY. dang it xD

Stella finally making sense and being a decent person xD Character development! barely. but still there

o wow she telekenetik xD

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 2 Thoughts (4kids) Part 1

I already posted some thoughts on season 2 last year when I legit just clicked through he episodes rather than actually rewatching them so I am back to give a more in-depth look on this season! (And, hopefully, it won’t end with disappointment for me.)

2x01:

- Eww, why voiceover? It just seems so unnatural since we’ve never had it before. Not to mention that Bloom told us what each of the other girls has done during the summer but she didn’t tell us anything about herself. Like, she set out to find out more about her origins back in the first half of season 1, and I know that she did learn about being the princess of Domino but she still has no fucking idea who her parents are as individuals apart from them being the rulers of Domino. Considering how big of a plot that is later on, it just doesn’t sit right with me that she doesn’t seem remotely interested in it currently and didn’t mention anything about it. It’s like that plotline is closed for her which we all know is not true. So I am having some issues here, not gonna lie (not with Bloom but with her inconsistent writing).

- Aww, am I the only one who thinks that Stella buried herself in fashion rules all summer because she didn’t want to think about her parents’ divorce? Poor baby has been going so hard with no rest to keep herself from grieving over it. But at least she did something! (Proving she’s not lazy and spoiled; she practically had a job. Her dream job. You go get it, girl! (but also take care of your mental state, please.))

- Why is Bloom so eager to learn her fortune? Has she not read Greek Mythology? Bad idea, hon. Bad idea. (The thing with the magical reality mirrors was cool, though!)

- (Is that a new secret library or is it the regular library? I’m confused. Does anybody have a handy layout of Alfea for me?)

- She just fucking told her everything! I’m not a fan of knowing your future tbh. It really messes with your head and you start thinking “Will my actions have a negative impact on it? Will I somehow change my own destiny for the worse?” and then you go and do exactly that. Not to mention that it would be so weird to stare at Layla and just feel the pressure of being told that you’ll be best friends. Like, what if it doesn’t work? And what if it is just the fact that you were told so that pushes you to seek the friendship of that person? I don’t know. It’s just not my thing.

- Layla is awesome, though! Climbing those rocks with no equipment, not to mention with so little power left. She probably couldn’t even transform and fly if she fell. That was dangerous but did she care? Nope. She was there to save the pixies! Brave little soldier. Too good, too pure for this world.

- Ugh, Darkar managed to annoy me with his very first sentence ever. Nice job. You are a loser, loser. So deal with it! God, how will I take all that narcissism for 25 more episodes? Oh god, oh no, please, no! Whyyyyyyyy?

- Ugh, Bloom, that diadem is doing the opposite of wonders for your hair, please! At least Stella had the common sense to remove it.

- Speaking of Stella, that moment with the multiplying beauty was so cute! I love how she complimented the others while complimenting herself! But guys (Stella & Bloom), you’re not discreet with the groping. Seriously.

- Oh, hey! Riven won! And Sky only came in third! Nice! But lbr here, Timmy is the real victor! The others came in on hoverbikes while he had an entire ship that he modified himself. I mean, idk about anyone else, but I would definitely go for the ship.

- Of course there’s Diaspro drama. God, can they not for literally five seconds? And also, “we’re just friends”? Wtf? Did you fall on your head this summer, Bloom? You were calling him your boyfriend last time I checked. And you were fawning over the romance in your future. Can you just drop the pretense already?

- Ooh, Layla is so smart! She managed to outsmart all the monsters and win even when she barely had any magic left! You go, you absolute badass!

- Did they even make any changes on that new wing at Alfea? I mean, besides the name.

2x02:

- How did Tecna know that Layla was the princess of Andros? Did she hack the interdimensional FBI system? Wtf.

- They could’ve showed some other things we hadn’t seen that Layla had to go through but, of course, why would they do that when they could just use the same footage and draw less animation, bruh?

- And we’re getting to the opposites. Right on schedule when the Shadow Phoenix has shown up. You gotta love how convenient those school lessons are (not to mention that Bloom suddenly started feeling her opposite out of nowhere. Nice!) At least we got a cool magical lesson. Though, idk how to feel about the ying-yang symbol. I mean, it is a perfect representation of what they’re talking about but kind of weird to see something so earthly in Alfea. Though, Earth did have magic so... Hmm. Okay, anyway. Moving on.

- Um, question, why do Stella and Layla not know each other? And in the first season Stella and Musa and Sky didn’t know each other even though they were all royalty (I am still unclear on whether Musa is a princess or not btw but anyway). Don’t they, like, have royal meetings with other kingdoms? (which they even did in season 5 when Domino was back. What, is Domino the center of the universe and they can’t function without it? I mean, come on!)

- The talk about love is getting on my nerves and I literally have “love” in my url and it is my fave word. So what is wrong with that? I do love that guard there. Heck, yeah, it’s a prison (it’s worse than that tbh). And the fact that they’re trying to make it out not to be is extremely fucked up and sickening if you ask me. Not to mention “You can force people to be happy. It just takes time.” I really hope whoever had the idea of that place (in-verse) is going to hell.

- They legit just kept recapping season 1 for a solid minute? Aaaaaaaand... SKIP.

- Can I say that a 30-page report is an actual living nightmare. Thanks.

- The girls are all friendly with Layla (well, outside of a slip-up or two). That’s cute. But where the hell is Tecna? Can the animators only animate five Winx girls at a time? What the hell, you guys?

- So the Pixie village is on Andros (if Layla found it accidentally. I don’t imagine she realm-hopped at will)? Why don’t I remember any of that? But hey, finally some flashbacks that we haven’t seen before!

- Oh, look! My guy Kerborg is here! (the only good part of this whole Darkar thing tbh)

- The Trix finally thought of trying to pretend to be happy in order to get out of there. Well, better late than never. Though, watching how it’s going I can understand why they didn’t try before that. It is, in fact, hopeless. (But at least Darcy is handling it! She always was a bit more controlled.)

- I am so majorly creeped out by Darkar. He just met them and he’s like “You belong to me! Mwahahahaha.” Ummmm? Can you calm down? But I loved Icy’s response. Though, it didn’t stick. And he’s at it again. Seriously, this is really giving me some major off vibes. He said they were going to be the queens of Shadowhaunt which, considering he’s the king, would imply they were his wives. Now there’s a mental image that I am not even going to let inside my head, thanks. Although, having in mind that he just kept buttering them up, I would say it was just him stroking their egos to get them to join him. Not to mention that his later treatment of them supports that theory. And of course, he had to test them first and see how they’d do.

2x03:

- Please, tell me that they’ll tell someone about the Pixies and won’t just go to Shadowhaunt on their own initiative.

- O!M!G! They actually told Faragonda! I can’t believe this! Finally doing something smart, I can’t! And of course she wasn’t going to just let them go. Though, did she really think they weren’t going to want to take the test?

- Shouldn’t Stella be weakened by the darkness of Shadowhaunt? I kinda wish she’d stayed at Alfea if that would’ve spared us from the arc that is coming. (Why?)

- Okay, but it was kind of rude of Layla to just overtake Riven’s hoverbike like that. I wouldn’t appreciate it if I had to give someone a ride and they shoved me out of the driver’s seat and occupied my car, thank you. I’m surprised Riven agreed to let her drive.

- I don’t really have much to say about this episode tbh.

- It was cute that Stella jumped off the cliff for Brandon but it was not the smartest course of action. It probably would’ve been easier for him to save himself if he was alone and they may not have ended up being brought to Amentia. God, I hate this. I don’t want to be bitching about this every other sentence so just know that I absolutely despise this arc from the very bottom of my heart and that will never change.

2x04:

- They have no powers and Darkar knows they’re there. Sounds like a great situation, doesn’t it?

- That amazing moment when you either have to marry a person you’ve just met or watch the one you love die and then be forced to get married anyway. You gotta love that! I hate this so much! (And this is different from my previous point. Or at least has a different angle.)

- Wow, Riven is absolutely handling being a boyfriend. Somebody get him a manual, the man is failing spectacularly.

- I am not quite a fan of Flora’s “Must be nice to have a shoulder to cry on”. Like, you have your friends???? No, I get that she wants a boyfriend, nothing wrong with that, but it came out like she has nobody. Which is absolutely not true.

- What a lucky save that Stella just arrived when they were about to become toast. Can anyone tell me why she didn’t just teleport them where the Pixies are? Or anywhere closer to them if she could do that all along?

- Am I distracted or is there nothing to talk about in these episodes? (Both. It is both.)

2x05:

- Seriously, why didn’t they at least mention the option to teleport using that gadget from the beginning?

- Aww, Brandon was trying to be noble and get out of the marriage but it backfired. Poor him.

- Why are the Pixies bickering like that? Is it Shadowhaunt’s influence or just the fact that they’d been imprisoned together for so long?

- Wait, did they just... kill a pixie? (Off screen of course, but still. Damn!)

- So Bloom and Stella did... interestingly with the boarding.

- Why is Stella afraid of heights? Also, that’s never been mentioned before. Especially not when she jumped off a fucking cliff! Wtf. They just keep throwing in new stuff without setting it up properly and I am getting annoyed.

- What happened to Tecna’s computer?

- Oh, look! Chatta lied to Darkar to protect Pixie Village.

- It’s the Trix! Finally some action! And they are harder to defeat now that they’re stronger! Nice!

- Damn! Layla was really determined to get the Pixies out of there. (Which wouldn’t have helped if Darkar hadn’t let her but she still gets points for trying.)

- Oh come on! Do I really have to deal with fake Avalon so early in the season?!?!?! Dammit! Also, wtf is up with Bloom and Stella? Like, you both have boyfriends. At least Layla’s not affected.

- “Stella returned a compliment. What is that about?” XDDD One of the funniest lines ever! And look at Amore! She is so cute!

2x06:

- But yeah, seriously, just go get Brandon, please! (Also, good that they noticed something’s fishy.)

- Aww, Stella is absolutely furious and determined to get her boyfriend back. She should’ve gone for a plan tbh since it could’ve helped them get to the palace faster.

- I love how Stella’s known Layla for a week (half of which Layla was unconscious) tops and is already making her her bridesmaid. Am I the only one who finds this weird? Like, this friendship train is moving way too fast for my trust issues.

- Poor Brandon. She’s going to stretch him, wtf? These episodes are a horror show.

- How bad can a guard worm be? Hm, gee, I don’t know, Layla. Enough to stop you perhaps since it is a “guard”, y’know.

- And Brandon is talking to a parrot now. I am losing it just like he is. How much longer will this torture go on? Please, tell me this arc is coming to an end.

- Okay, so the plotline with Amore’s magic is less problematic than I remember it. I thought she was going to make Amentia fall in love with the flower pollen but it only leads you to your soulmate. That isn’t problematic, actually. Nice!

- Wtf do you mean they’re going to eat Brandon if he’s not a good husband?!?!?! I am getting nightmares over here. Just feeling them forming in my head. Thanks.

- It must be horrible for Stella to be standing there and watching her boyfriend being forced to marry another woman. How are these people not psychologically scarred anyway?

- Aww, they’re back together! I love how Amore is just sitting in Stella’s lap! It’s cute.

2x07:

- I was not ready for the Kiko angst even though I knew it was coming.

- Faragonda really thought she could just dodge that question without them noticing, huh? Yeah, well, no.

- Oh, look! The Shadow Fire is sentient. This reminds me of LotR tbh but anyway, moving on. So Darkar is a man who is possessed by the Shadow Fire? I so did not remember that.

- Oh, no! Is it really time for Avalon already? Dammit! I was just getting thrilled there was no Darkar in these last two episodes and now I get Avalon. Uggggh.

- I get Bloom’s annoyance with this but why does she keep blasting it when that obviously doesn’t give results?!?!?! This reminds me of that quote by Einstein that madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results. “I feel tired.” You think? You’ve been out there blasting that thing for hours. Get inside and get warmed up, oh my god! Seriously, how are they even alive? They don’t take care of themselves at all.

- This might be my more advanced knowledge of what the future holds for them speaking but I absolutely do not get what is Avalon’s appeal.

- Oh, how convenient. He’s teaching magic connected to their origins. Amazing.

- “I don’t want to seem obsessive” *proceeds to spy on girlfriend* At least the show is framing it well.

2x08:

- Ugh, I really hate these Bloom and Avalon scenes. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

- Ugh, I’m gagging at Bloom’s obsession with Avalon. I get he promised to help her learn about her origins but she’s downright lovesick. I am so with Sky on this and I understand his frustration.

- Aww, Brandon immediately revealed his own nickname to help Stella calm down. That was so cute! I love them!

- I love how the fairies are always invited, of course, but the witches are only invited because they helped. I mean, yeah, they do cause trouble, but like, they’re witches? I think the show should have done a better job at specifying what exactly being a witch is because currently it’s like “hey, they’re evil but they can legally learn how to be evil in the legitimate school for witches!” How does that make any sense?

- Ewww, seriously? On the one front I have Bloom and Avalon and on the other Icy and Darkar. What is wrong with this season?

- Oh, hey! It’s Helia! Now only if we didn’t have to wait half a season for Flora to confess her feelings, that would be great! I love how she got mad at Stella for introducing herself to Helia. Don’t just glare there, Flora. Do something about it! (About Helia, I mean.)

- So Saladin is also a dramatic bitch. Good to know. XD But hey, the new Red Fountain looks so much better. Before I started the rewatch, I didn’t even remember the initial vision. I only remembered the one from season 2 onwards.

- Poor Timmy! But what was Tecna’s problem? Like, you dreamed of him. That’s cool. I mean, you like him. What’s the problem? I guess she’s just not used to emotions like that, though.

- “I think it was Darcy” Jeez, really? Why is the fact that she ran away not enough proof that it was Darcy? Why would she run away if she was just a random girl? But I guess it’s a good thing Musa recognized her voice because people can actually do that unlike what movies would have you believe.

- It’s Kerborg time. Nice!

- Oh, yeah, “let’s leave Bloom and Sky in charge here”. Now you trust her. Last time she was there he blamed everything on her but hey, whatever.

- I loved Sky being supportive of Brandon and then the team up with all the rest. And Riven showing a better side of himself. That was really awesome.

- Oh, I think Helia’s got his eye on a certain fairy too! ;)

- But seriously. Literally an entire army of Specialists can’t hold the monster down while Helia did it on his own. With his glove. Wtf?!?!?!?! Though really, why am I expecting anything to make sense at this point.

2x09:

- Okay, but as annoying as Darkar is, he at least knows how to steer the witches to do exactly what he wants.

- Really, Tecna, I think your facts are wrong. You aren’t completely grown up at 16, wtf.

- Who else is completely creeped out by Avalon? He really just gave all of his very female and very young students flowers. And he’s teaching them all individual things (which is just a cover so that his interest in Bloom doesn’t stand out, of course, but still). He knows they are all crushing on him and he’s exploiting that and doing his best to lead them on and reinforce those emotions. That is absolutely disgusting, thank you.

- Seriously, even Faragonda is falling victim to his “charm” (not)? I can’t with this episode anymore and it has just started. And here I thought Darkar would be the problem of this season. How was I so wrong????????

- Oh, he wants them to trust him as much as they trust themselves? How about they throw you off a cliff instead? Oh, wait, that won’t work because he has wings. Crush him with a boulder then? (This is getting very anti Avalon and I am so sorry for all the negativity but I don’t think I can stress enough how much this is upsetting and angering me.)

- Why do I feel like Avalon is the one who planted the book there so that Tecna could do all of that and embarrass herself so that she wouldn’t try it again and he could proceed with his real plans?

- Well, we finally got Bloom’s parents’ names and a very unclear peek at them. Though, props for having their designs figured out from the beginning, though I guess that is just thanks to the comics.

- Oh, hey! Palladium is back. (Why is no one crushing on him? He is so much better and more handsome than Avalon tbh.) Glow up time, bitches. XD

- Amaryl is being Amaryl, of course. But Palladium is having none of it anymore. And he saved Stella. Nice!

- The others trust Tecna, that’s great!

- (Honestly, Griffin is the only thing saving me from losing my mind in this episode tbh, Also the fact that she believes Tecna and that Tecna was suspicious enough to dig in the first place. At least someone hasn’t lost their common sense.)

- Oh, hey, how did Bloom get that medallion? Did she pull it out of the past? Pls, tell me that’s not what happened. It can legit mess the entire timeline.

- Wait, didn’t they start chasing him before midnight? Why is it suddenly morning? Wtf? You can’t tell me they chased him all night. Why is everything so wrong?

- Poor Wizgiz! Another invention is destroyed. I feel his pain.

- At least all parts of the episode came together nicely. The writing was actually good but I absolutely hate this episode, thanks! I still appreciate the effort with the script, though.

2x10:

- Seriously, why did Bloom instantly decide that Diaspro was involved in this? Ugh. Both she and Sky need to calm down with the jealousy.

- Omg, Griselda is so savage, I can’t! Her magic is so awesome. (Since when is Stella up for cooking? Or was it just because she wanted to see the cute guy that would teach them cooking? Ah, and she’s tired of take out.) I really loved how she used different methods to deal with the different powers of the fairies. Finally we’re getting all the magical lessons and it is absolutely glorious.

- (Btw, seeing Stella openly critique classes schedule makes it clear to me why she’s always been my favorite. That is such a me thing to do. I still can’t understand how teachers liked me since I was always arguing with them.)

- Of course. Sky wants to talk and Bloom immediately decided he wanted to break up with her. Why don’t you hear him out first maybe? (Sidenote: Stella and Brandon went on a date with unicorns? That is really cute!)

- Brandon is in his role of the wingman again. Considering he’s the only one having a steady girlfriend (and they’ve said “I love you” already), the rest should just listen to him.

- Mayhem globe? That’s really cool actually.

- Helia is here. Nice!

- Poor Stormy. She looked really hurt. I thought Darcy was the one with the illusions and riddles. Why did she get it wrong and why was Icy the one to solve it (through a detail that not only has never been shown but has been pretty much disproven by what we’ve seen)?

- Yeah. Tecna and Timmy were also knocked out, Bloom. Just in case you care about that.

- Kindness spell? And non-agression spell? That’s kinda cool actually. But problematic... again.

- I am not quite sure what Bloom did but I am actually glad to see they went with a hug there (and it was cute). But how many times are they going to become a boyfriend and a girlfriend? I thought we were over this.

2x11:

- Brandon is at it again. A true specialist... in dating tips. XD

- Wow, Flora. Nice Helia spell you got there. (Btw I am so loving that we get to see them in different classes and learning things! Yes, this is what I’m here for!) But Layla was so ready to help! And I also love that Flora went to Layla instead of anyone else. It’s really cute that they got so close so fast. (”He’s crazy if he doesn’t like you.” Perhaps Layla is the one who likes Flora. XD)

- Shoulda listened to Brandon, Timmy. (But Tecna so boldly went for the “us”. You go, girl!)

- Idk but to me “The Archaic Spells of Spheria” doesn’t sound any good tbh.

- Of course Stella is all about the romantic movies. But poor pixies. They had to imprison them to save them.

- Why did all of the boys know about the Codex in the previous ep but the girls have no clue about it? Why is Faragonda keeping it from them if everyone at Red Fountain knows about it?

- What was Faragonda doing? And why did she make Bloom look for the spell? Couldn’t she do that herself? (Also, she just threw the book like that on the floor. I get why it prompted her derision but damn, really?)

2x12:

- Flora and Helia are such romantic dorks. And they’re bringing their A game there. Poems and flowers... A beautiful romance blooms. (I’ll stop now.)

- This convergence talk is giving me all the friendship feels. Not just for Winx but also for Faragonda and Griffin since they have been spotted doing convergence too. Ugh, my heart!

- Wow, Riven sure has a lot of pictures of Musa, considering the way he’s acting.

- “Kind of involved”? Mhm, sure.

- So I understand Musa’s frustration with Stella’s meddling but on the other hand I can see Stella’s point. I love Musa x Riven but Riven doesn’t seem exactly present and Musa herself stated that she’s not really sure what the status of their relationship is so...

- Okay, but there is no way in hell that it is Darcy’s birthday. It is fall currently and Darcy’s birthday is May 5 according to Wiki. So yeah, no.

- I am getting a bit sidetracked again but can we talk about the fact that Bloom and Stella couldn’t do convergence after a simple disagreement even though they’re together like 24/7 while Griffin and Faragonda managed to do it seamlessly at the end of season 1 after not speaking to each other for years and kind of getting into a fight the last time they spoke at the Day of the Royals. Friendship goals (well, besides the silent treatment.)

- Okay but I think it wasn’t right to blame Stella. She didn’t say anything that was inherently offensive. She suggested that they try to get closer. That isn’t bad even if it upsets someone indirectly. There was no need to blame her. They should’ve just focused on making Layla feel better.

- Why do I feel like none of them really had friends before they found each other? But hey, they are this big found family now and that is awesome! (I am getting all the feels again.)

- And Darcy is messing up the magical reality chamber again. Didn’t we do that already? Also, why didn’t they try to... idk, take precautions and put better security on it considering how dangerous it can be? Like, those are simple things. Please, be responsible.

- Better not play Truth or Dare with Stella. Unless you wanna be kissing ogres. XD

- That was a good save Layla pulled off there. Also, I love how the girls are mad at the “technical” issues. Tbh they are right to. How many times are they gonna get stuck in the wrong world when sent into the magical reality chamber? Like, get your shit together teachers. Also, why don’t they simply do a test run before they get anyone inside it? You’d think they’d learn their lesson.

- Damn, they can be deleted if the program is turned off? Why didn’t Darcy just have Jarred unplug it then? Winx are erased forever. Boom, problem solved. For the Trix, I mean.

- Aww, the pixies were ready to go in. That was cute.

- I LOVED that convergence! It was such a cool idea to have them make a figure. Also, they just created life. Damn! I am impressed.

2x13:

- Poor Layla. She has all those nightmares. But at least Piff helps! That’s really cute.

- I see Flora still hasn’t solved the Helia problem yet.

- They just ditched school to go to a club. What chaotic dumbass energy, I can’t.

- Aww, Layla is sharing about her harsh childhood. At least she has friends she can talk to now. But damn the difference between Andros and Solaria is very striking in scenes like that.

- Layla totally nailed that improv. Nice, you go, girl!

- I love the difference between Griselda and Faragonda! XD

- I loved that convo between Bloom and Vanessa! Yes, thank you for that. I am a little confused as to when Bloom learned Daphne was her sister. Did I miss something or did the writers miss something? But aww, Vanessa can’t see Locket. That’s making me sad. :(

- They did go to the club, though, huh? Nice one, you guys.

- How will Faragonda learn if they use magic on humans but not otherwise? That doesn’t sound very logical to me. (Speaking of logic, where is Tecna? They didn’t show her in this ep.)

- Oh, no! Poor Layla. But damn, she’s powerful. And the others are there to help her. (The pixies can cause so much trouble considering how small they are.)

- I love how Faragonda and Griselda just showed up to get them. It was cute. Though, now they’re being punished. Well, technically, Bloom didn’t break any rules because she had permission to leave but I guess she’s also in this because she shouldn’t have taken the others with her. (Cheeky to welcome Faragonda and Griselda to Earth.) At least Faragonda managed to get them the permission for music back from Griselda. XD

- Aww, babies! They are so tired from cleaning the whole school, they fell asleep. And the pixies helped, too.

- I’m not sure how Flora got that Helia is “the one” from talking to him for half a minute, but damn, wanna share those powers with the rest of us so that we can know immediately when we’ve met the one as well? (It was so cute to see Flora lean on Layla to sleep with her. And Piff, too. If she weren’t just talking about Helia, they would’ve been like a picture perfect family.)

This got very long so I decided to split the post for this season in parts. Part 2.

[masteredshadows]

1 through 4 :~)

INTERVIEWS // accepting.

kayla do u know how hard it is for someone who rambles as much as I do to answer more than like, two, in a single ask??? also you’re on your vik four is unimportant smh

four answered here.

➊ How many ships do you have on this blog?

Ship tags or actual ships? ‘Cause, like, those are totally different things. I have four that I’ve actually written, with a fifth that was explored on my old blog, and two that I personally have a hankering for.

The ones that I’ve actually written on this iteration of the blog would be syndra + zed, gd + zed, riven + zed, aaaand vladimir + zed. wow. amazing.

I feel like I’m forgetting someone. forgive me if I am.

➋ Have you ever roleplayed with someone that just left an unforgettable impression on you?

There’s no way for me to answer this with my usual compliment spree-ing without forgetting someone or failing to convey what I properly want to convey, so, yes. Good and bad impressions, some due to their writing ability, some due to friendships that have formed, some due to other things.

Though, to return the kind words – you are certainly one of them.

➌ Which of your ships on this blog is the fluffiest?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Fluff doesn’t exist with Zed.

[how2to18]

IS THERE ANY TIME of life more racked by yearning and uncertainty than college? Not, at least, in R. O. Kwon’s The Incendiaries, a debut novel that cannily blurs the line between campus novel and cult lit. As Kwon depicts them, those aching years are a time for confronting the fuzziness of one’s beliefs, for wrestling with the problem of who we want to be.

Even those of us who matriculated with less drama than Kwon’s characters will likely find something familiar in their desire for self-coherence. Mine surged forth sophomore year, when a misguided professor invited me to a kind of undergrad conservative indoctrination seminar in Savannah, Georgia. At school in Chicago, I’d often felt adrift, just another lonely skeptic avoiding the riskiness of belief. Here, though, among true foils, I watched a new, confident version of myself come into view.

I scoffed at the tenets of limited government and made vaguely accurate Rousseau references. What I said was scattershot, but I felt like I had principles. And, I think, the same was true of my foes. In our mutual antagonism, we gave one another the feeling that we knew what we were talking about. Leveling identical charges of naïveté and muddled thought, we made ourselves make sense. There was nothing better than our own certainty.

Certainty’s pull is something Kwon’s novel illuminates well. Already the recipient of significant attention, The Incendiaries touches on a cluster of issues that seem ripped from the headlines. Religious extremism, race, college rape, casual misogyny, North Korea, and abortion are all here in just over 200 pages. The sheer density of hot-button concerns could easily feel sensational, but the text’s immediacy feels effortless and necessary.

Set at fictional Edwards College, an elite school on the banks of the Hudson (think Bard except it’s Princeton), The Incendiaries breaks with much college fiction to portray campus life as inseparable from the world outside the gates. Neither sanctuary nor club, the lush Edwards campus doesn’t let its students escape from anything. This is true, too, of Jejah, the Christian cult that claims one of the book’s protagonists. For Jejah’s devotees, faith in a deity is no more or less fraught than faith in others, or oneself.

Like many stories of faith lost and pursued, Kwon’s hinges on a crisis. In the novel’s opening pages, we learn that an Edwards student named Phoebe has done something strange and awful: “Buildings fell. People died.” In other words, we see from the start where things are headed. What remains to be discovered is why.

This is a question not just for us, but also for Kwon’s central narrator, Will, an ex-Evangelical Christian who saved souls before losing faith and fleeing to a new life at Edwards. At school, Will learns to pass for preppy, though not well enough to avoid being singled out by Phoebe as a fellow misfit. Phoebe, gifted with the ability to put others at ease, makes friends easily even as she privately flounders under a double burden of guilt and loss.

The only daughter of long-separated Korean immigrant parents, she mourns a mother she believes died thinking her a disappointment. Still reeling from her death, Phoebe courts self-annihilation during her first months at Edwards. Walking home from the hospital after a particularly bad night, she remembers her mother protecting child-Phoebe’s body with sunscreen and wide-brimmed hats: “Such pains she’d taken, for the little I’d since become.”

The pace in these early chapters is unhurried, the writing careful and evocative, as though the characters are attempting not so much to remember as to conjure their pasts. Doing so isn’t mere nostalgia — it’s an attempt to pinpoint the moments when things went wrong, when they saw only what they wanted to see. Recalling the heady early days of his relationship with Phoebe, Will seasons even his most exuberant memories with a note of caution: “If I could be anyone, I’d ask to be the Will rushing to see more, again, of Phoebe […] The suck and howl of a siren pierced the cold, and the fall wind smelled of reasons to live.”

As they reflect on their relationship in alternating flashbacks (Phoebe’s mysteriously nested inside Will’s), Will and Phoebe both admit to keeping secrets. They’re so good at being what they think other people want that they don’t know how to stop even when they want to. When Phoebe starts attending what seems to be a kind of Christian support group run by John Leal, a charismatic and mysterious man who claims to have survived imprisonment in a North Korean gulag, Will is baffled by her credulousness even as he’s certain he can unmask John as the same kind of self-aggrandizing faux-Jesus-warrior that he used to be. Will admits early on that he blames himself for having been unable to save Phoebe, but as we learn more about Phoebe we come to question how well he ever knew her.

But as Phoebe is to Will, so Will is to the reader. He’s charming but a little distant, slipping in and out of focus, his passionate self-reflection alternately earnest and performative. What we know of Phoebe is always mediated by Will, but it’s Will who remains the most inscrutable. At one point, during a summer internship in Beijing, Will spies a girl on the street buying a snack and, seeing something that intrigues him, trails her. Is his impulse curious? Protective? Predatory? We never know. The girl, sensing she’s being followed, flees in obvious and understandable terror. Instead of leaving her alone, Will becomes determined to explain that he doesn’t mean her harm, literally chasing her until she dives behind a door. Kwon ends the scene here, a move that, like so much in The Incendiaries, brilliantly turns an apparent moment of revealing self-reflection into another layer of uncertainty.

In such passages, The Incendiaries flips a convention of the religious conversion narrative on its head. Telling a story of faith gained or lost is traditionally a way of reconciling a riven life, of making consistent what defies consistency. In one of the most classic examples, John Henry Newman’s 1864 autobiography Apologia Pro Vita Sua (literally translated as “A Defense of His Life”), Newman describes his scandalous conversion from Anglicanism to Catholicism as a realization of his true self evoked by reading the Catholic proclivities of his childhood as omens. Only when he finally comes to the moment of conversion — the moment, in other words, that requires him to own what he was in order to ground his transformation into something else — does he flinch: “I feel overcome with the difficulty of satisfying myself in my account of it, and have recoiled from doing so […] For who can know himself, and the multitude of subtle influences which act upon him?”

Describing the actual threshold of conversion would require Newman to admit momentarily that he hasn’t always been who he is, and so instead he invokes the distortions of memory to render it unseeable. Doubt becomes a bandage, a way of obscuring and attempting to heal the most profound of inconsistencies so that the coherence of faith and life he desperately desires can be maintained.

The self-account that grapples with a painful revelation is key to conversion narratives like Newman’s. It’s essential, too, to the contemporary memoir genre that, even as it avoids pat conclusions, it often frames the storytelling act as therapeutic. For Kwon’s characters, though, divulging hurts doesn’t guarantee anything. Even the faults they admitted freely and soberly can be used against them. In The Incendiaries, telling one’s story to others never heals old wounds, it only rips them open.

This is true not only for Will and Phoebe, but also for the novel’s secondary characters. One of Phoebe’s tactics for fitting in is allowing others to unburden themselves to her. When she first meets Julian Noh, a campus bon vivant who becomes a friend, Phoebe deflects his questions about her by telling him that she wants to know all his secrets. Months later, trust gained, he finally lets his habitual playfulness drop and confesses that his traditional Korean parents have rejected him for being gay. The confession isn’t salutary, though. It’s a source of shame laughingly diminished as soon as it’s made. Likewise, when their mutual friend Liesl publicly accuses a popular student of rape, speaking out only brings more pain. John Leal, too, uses coerced confessions to exert control over his disciples, then makes these forced revelations a pretext for supposedly curative punishment. Self-doubt in the hands of others is a weapon.

Yet none of these characters stop wanting things to make sense or trying to align who they want to be with who they are. This desire is at the core of Phoebe’s pursuit of faith and her attachment to John. Trying to make Will understand, she speaks of a rift at the core of her identity: “People tell me I’m the whitest Asian girl they’ve met. I think they figure it’s a compliment. I’ve heard it as one. Will, I used to take pride in knowing so little about what I’m from. John Leal calls it a kind of self-hatred, and it is. He’s right. I don’t want to be this kind of person.”

We understand Phoebe’s yearning to reclaim this part of herself, to separate who she is from the perceptions and desires others have imposed on her. Will, inadvertently underlining the point, fixates on her wanting to go to Seoul with John even though she declined to accompany him to Beijing. We may know the terrible thing Phoebe will do in the name of her faith, but that doesn’t make her conversion’s motivations less poignant or, in their own way, logical. For Phoebe, faith means not having to cover up or hate what she sees as her sins and failures. As she tells Will, “To recall those I’ve hurt, to catalog the times I’ve failed, is also to learn how to forgive. Each loss includes its redress; each evil, its pardon.”

Phoebe’s God is an always-present interlocutor who, in knowing what she is and does, makes her cohere, hurts and all. This is part of what makes her conversion so frustrating to Will, who is always seeking and never finding the audience he craves. His own loss of faith arrives when he asks God for a sign and is met with silence. When he loses God, he loses certainty. When he loses Phoebe, he loses his ability to be a person she could love.

Thus, a novel about a former believer’s attempt to understand a former agnostic becomes a more familiar but no less powerful story of how we use others — God included — to make sense of ourselves. This may seem strange territory for a campus novel, but in another way it’s just right. For many of us, college is the first experience that offers the terrifying opportunity for self-reinvention. It’s a seminal crucible in which we see ourselves reflected in the gaze of people we envy or hate or want or even maybe love. It’s when we may first catch sight of, if only briefly, a version of ourselves we might be able to live with.

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Anna E. Clark is an assistant professor of 19th-century literature at Iona College in New Rochelle, New York.

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