#also queer friendships sometimes are just like that especially in high school

[vyeoh]

Tell me more about the prep x bad boy treebark!!!! *swings feet and smiles to reveal my second set of teeth like a baby shark* please?

Ren graduated last year (he's one year older than martyn) and no one knows if they're just weirdly close besties or dating or some 3rd secret thing. Like, the thing is they flirted constantly but Ren is just Like That with everyone but also maybe it's like a ploycule situation? Theyre both theater kids and the theater department is just alway sleeping with each other so idk maybe its some theater department polycule. Like, no one knows what's up with those two weirdos but honestly it's not worth the energy to deal with

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Buddy Daddies - Episode 11 - Thought Post - SPOILERS!!!

I fully expect that the fandom is literally losing it over Rei’s, “Kazuki!” and Kazuki’s little gasp outside of the safe house. (I know I still am!)

That scene is also the most intimate we’ve ever seen them be with each other on a physical level. And I actually think that is something that made Kazuki and Rei stand out/feel different, and why I never got “queerbait” vibes from them. In a way, Kazuki and Rei are kind of a prime example of how a lot of people’s defense against queer readings of MLM relationships in anime isn’t wholly accurate, since it usually boils down to: male friendships in Japan are more intimate, guys are more emotionally open, etc.

As someone who worked at elementary schools and junior high schools and have seen drunk male teachers at nomikai and enkai before - they aren’t. Not really. In junior high school there was a lot of rough housing and drunk male coworkers might sling their arms around each other when they are doing some kind of silly act or something - but usually the kind of queer subtext stuff that we often get in anime and manga is on a totally different level and not comparable. 

Sometimes it really is subtext (a great example of this would be Nabari no Ou, the mangaka is X-gender and asexual, so any queer subtext you are getting from that series is likely queer subtext), but other times it’s just straight up queerbait. Usually you can feel and tell the difference between the two after a while.

With Buddy Daddies the promo materials never show them half naked wrapped around each other or anything enticing like that. And in-series we see them keeping a common, especially in Japan, physical distance with each other. As the series has progressed though, as Rei has learned how to communicate his thoughts and feelings more, and as Kazuki has learned to let someone in again, we’ve started seeing them communicating with each other more openly. 

And while at the start most of their physical closeness has been in comedic scenes, like Kazuki dragging Rei around:

Or when Kazuki freaked out about Miri getting captured by some creep and took hold of Rei’s shoulders:

Now, in this episode, we have the two discussing a very important topic. Rei is as opened up as can be and communicating properly. He’s made it clear how he feels about taking the life of Miri’s father and through guilt by association, the life of Miri’s mother now too. 

He’s laying himself pretty bear in front of Kazuki and his desire to raise Miri in this scene makes me think of Episode 3 in a way. With Rei in similar, though not exactly the same, role as Kazuki and Kazuki in the role of Misaki. 

Rei, like Kazuki, wanted to take care of Miri. Kazuki, like Misaki who sent her away and wanted nothing to do with her, wanted to bring her to an orphanage and then exit her life entirely. 

They flash back to Misaki’s death for a reason as well, because Kazuki is relating himself to her words.

He’s done this before and the two have been both foils of each other (Ep. 3) and parallels of each other, such as in last episode and even in this week’s episode, with Misaki’s bandaged fingers after she tried properly cooking a meal for the first time: 

Looking like Kazuki’s after he tried sewing for the first:

Right, in that moment with Rei, Kazuki was thinking, “I’m being selfish too. I want to keep Miri even though it’s safer not to.” The difference though, is that Kazuki, unlike Misaki, has a partner who is equally in the known as him when it comes to the potential dangers of what they are about to do. He also has a partner that is willing to take equal responsibility and care of Miri.

Misaki never had that. Not the first time and the second time, when she came back for Miri in Episode 10, she likely didn’t even know how to ask for something like that. Rei wasn’t fully ready yet then either.

I have more I could say about Misaki, but I’ll save that for another post. In this one, I want to wrap around to the beginning of this post. The things that make this physical touch so intimate between them:

1. It is Rei reaching out to Kazuki. A first, iirc, outside of stuff like him putting his arm out to stop Kazuki last episode, Ep.10 (outside of the daycare)

2. The scene isn’t comedic. It is heated. The two are very emotionally charged.

3. Kazuki’s hand reaches out because he was angry at the situation. He grabbed Rei’s suit because of that built up fear and angry at the situation.

4. But Rei wraps his hand over Kazuki’s to show connection. He uses it to add emphasis and make Kazuki feel his words: “Think. What can we do to help Miri?” Rei has always been the one to calm Kazuki down. When Kazuki goes over the top, Rei reels him back in, like here. But this was the first time he had to physically reach out to Kazuki and touch him in order to make that point and actually bring Kazuki back down from the clouds and back into the reality of their situation and what they can do. 

5. Finally, during this talk, when Rei says, “We’ll make Miri happy!” Kazuki doesn’t just think about Miri, he thinks about Yuzuko too. Rei says we’ll and Kazuki is fully acknowledging that.

This time, unlike in Episode 3, where they both decided to be Miri’s papas separately, they are deciding to be her papas together. There was a shift in their dynamic again, just like there was in Episode 3.

I noticed this last week and was wondering how this would play out in today’s episode, but we are seeing parallel episode structure with Arc 1 (Episodes 1 - 5) and this final arc (Episodes 10 - 13). This final arc is one episode short though, so this week’s episode was like a paralleled combination of Episodes 2 and 3.

Putting the rest under a Read More due to length.

Episode 10 Paralleled Episode 1 - Kazuki and Rei getting Miri due to a hit, Kazuki and Rei losing Miri to a hit (the hit being Miri herself).

Episode 11 Paralleled Episodes 2 & 3 - For the Episode 2 parallels you have: 

Kazuki and Rei having Miri at the apartment for the first time and getting taken off the job with the introduction of Ryo killing someone. Versus us seeing Kazuki and Rei in the apartment for the first time without Miri and them deciding to leave their jobs this time along with Ryo killing again (hopefully, for the last time). 

And in the case of Kazuki and Rei trying to adjust to the changes both with Miri in the apartment for the first time and without her in the apartment - they are both a mess, one was just a noisy mess vs the silent mess of this episode (11).

For the Episode 3 parallels, I feel like I talked about that quite a bit already. Though we have some other things as well, like Misaki’s “you know they aren’t your real papas” conversation with Miri:

Mirroring Rei’s conversation with Miri about Kazuki not being her real papa:

And, of course, we have Rei thinking about his father, who he was still staying away from at the time, and contemplating what being a papa really means. Now he has confronted his father, he went back to him, but spoke back to him, and he now knows for certain what being a papa means and is 100% ready to commit to that.

If they really are following this parallel structure, then what might that mean for Episodes 12 and 13, which would, on some level, parallel episodes 4 and 5? In Episode 4 we saw them actually stepping into the roles of “Papas” on a societal level with the government office and daycare and kind of jumping into it all without really knowing what they were doing. 

Now they do know, they have experience, and we’ve seen Kazuki set down ground rules for Rei that Rei has agreed to follow when it comes to raising Miri. So there will be more involvement on Rei’s part. 

There was forged paperwork too...Maybe this time we will see Kazuki fill out that paperwork slightly more legitimately. Someone (sorry, I can’t remember exactly who it was!) mentioned that if Miri’s father never claimed Miri, then Kazuki might be able to claim himself as Miri’s father on her birth certificate. So...maybe we’ll see that. They did make Kazuki look like Miri’s birth father for reasons.

And, if Episode 13 ends up paralleling Episode 5, where Kazuki and Rei got reinstated on the job, Episode 13 would be when they properly leave the job. However that may go down. The interesting thing to think about is what Kyutaro will decide to do. In Episode 5, he told them of the dangers and was tempted to not get attached to Miri, but he did anyway. He acted like a regular café owner with her, watched over her, and told her about her comedian and oil baron papas. 

Now that we know Kyutaro has a safe house, will he deflect along with them and stay with her, will he work as a double agent or spy. I don’t know. But Episode 5 ended with Miri making a presentation, so maybe this episode will end with the Christmas Party at the end, which would bring the series full circle, since I bet that Christmas Party is on Christmas Eve. 

I know that it’s been stated that there won’t be any more “fluffy” episodes, but I think that is tied to the “pretend family” vs. “real family” dynamic that gets brought up in this episode. Where Kazuki and Rei are both 100% all in, so that means there won’t be any “super happy” facade going up anymore, just sincere emotions (which can range from happy to sad to tragic to comedic, etc.). After all, in that quiote, the director also told them to let go of past restraints and to show the intimate feelings that exist between Kazuki, Rei, and Miri. After this week’s episode, I feel I completely understand what this means now.

I’m going to stop this post for now, because I feel it has kind of gone off in various directions and I do still need to take my daily walk around the neighborhood. But I do have a number of thoughts on this episode (I wrote them all down in my notebook to make sure I don’t forget anything, lol). And I’ll be getting those posts up in a bit. 

But yeah, my mind is still going off in like five million different directions. How am I going to make it to next Friday!?

EDIT: SO! Next week’s episode is the last. The parallel aspect can still work though, Episode 12 would just parallel Episodes 4 & 5, which actually does work pretty nicely together. Thanks to everyone who informed me that Episode 12 will be the last!<3

[leuchtstabrebell]

just saw the Jesus Christ Superstar production in Nuremberg with a friend and thought i'd share some of my observations because this was WILD

details under the cut because i have a lot to say but this might be one of the queerest and boldest productions of JSC i have ever seen. the pope is herodes, nuns are participating in orgies, Mary is a mother, the catholic church is critizised every step of the way, hirarchies and power structures are questioned, and Judas wears a skirt. There are neon crosses and halos and a lot of blood, and so much thought and love put into this. The production value is very good as well. The cast is very young, especially the apostels and Judas and Jesus who are all in their early to mid-twenties, and the vibes are simply amazing.

This production is set in modern day rome and the vatican. jesus and the apostels are queer leftists activists trying to reform/act against the catholic church. like, this is the central element of this production.

(text on these signs reads, from l. to r.: No mandatory celibacy, God is a woman, Maria 2.0, #outinchurch, renewal now, the head of the fish is rotten. The banner reads "God is the love")

Many of these signs are references to reform movements inside the church and discussions around abuse of all kind in the catholic church, as well as demands for a more inclusive christianity (and society).

Jesus officates a wedding between two women apostels and everything is very gay. there are several rainbow flags involved. jesus is draped in a giant version of the flag at one point.

that being said, it is made pretty explicit that mary and jesus have some kind of relationship thing goin on??? They also sometimes seem removed from the rest of the group who have major found family vibes. they go on picnis and protests together, they care for each other, they dance, they sing, they cuddle. there was so much going on, I probably missed a lot of interactions between the apostels. Judas was very involved in the group, more than mary or jesus even, and judas and simon had a very cute friendship (they even play-fought in the beginning). They all hugged and kissed each other a lot as well. (Fun fact: many of the apostels are still in actors school and they did a cooperation with the staatstheater nuremberg which offered them the chance to participate in such a big production)

Now my thoughts on the individual characters:

Mary: sadly, my least favourite character in this production. i didn't really vibe with the actress, although she was great vocally. She rarely interacted with the apostels and kept mostly to herself and the apartment she shared with jesus and her child (I don't like the decision to have them live together almost like a nuclear family). it also did not help that she was noticeable older than the rest of the group and her costume wasn't great either. i loved her kid though, she was really cute (apparently, the gender of the kid changes depending on the child actor that day, here it was a girl). The child also connects the group, there were some cute found family vibes (although they could have done so much more with this ahhh). there are also several moments where the child symbolizes a brighter future to come, and hope, and innocence. she was such a cutie!!!!

This Jesus is a weirdo. Just a weird guy. Kinda Enjolras vibes, kinda angelic, kinda high as a kite beliefs in magic, depressed queer vibes. He would sometimes do weird motions with his hands to summon his powers to heal people????? his outfit was a statement as well.

I liked the acting, although the interpretation is one i had not seen before. The singing was pretty good, although the actors voice was a bit weak sometimes and he often had difficulty with belting higher notes. the actor has a very very soft voice in general??? it kinda contributed to the vibes of this jesus though and worked fine

I didn't like that they actually showed him being able to heal people, I like it more when it stays ambigious if he can actually do wonders/if he is actually the son of god. Interestingly, at the same time this Jesus felt very deserted by God to me? Gethsemane was very intense but also so absolutely defeated. it did not feel like a conversation with god but more pure desperation screamed into a void... This Jesus was really broken :( Also, the torture and whipping (which happens in the vatican???? kinda illegally???) was absolutely brutal and very bloody and he was sobbing in fetal position at several points of this production. also shaking like a little deer. in the last scenes, they filmed close-ups of his tortured face with a camera live and projected it on the large background screen which was very horrifiying and genius, especially during superstar. poor guy. he seemed very sad and burdened a lot of the time

Judas: There he is!!! My boi!!!! He was my absolute fave. The acting and singing was amazing, one of my fav interpretations of this character. The costume choices for him were amazing ( I mean look at him in that skirt and these boots) and this production chose to portray him in a very sympathetic light. He is the soul of the group in this production, while Jesus is the brain and Simon is the heart. (Peter is the bedrock, and Mary and her kid are honey-grease holding them together)

I mean, look at him!!! This judas cares so much, he contains multitudes. He is clearly loved by the people around and loves them back fiercely. He hugged people a lot and was very physical in general and the actor had so much charisma!!! In this version, Jesus and Judas also kind of seemed like two sides of the same coin, which I really liked. While Jesus is kind of otherworldy, charismatic, calm, and enigmatic, Judas is much more hands-on, real, passionate and energetic.

This Judas (like the whole production really) was very angry but he had every right to. In this production it also seemed like his anger at Mary and Jesus being with her was less about Mary (taking out some of the misogyny, luckily) and more about jesus retreating to something that could be perceived as a bourgouise lifestyle (my interpretation, at least). This judas seemed very queer but then again, most apostels in this production seemed to be queer. (The betrayal kiss was very passionate, btw)

Oh, and the cardinals waterboarded Judas with holy water in a church on wooden benches they put together??? And they also threatened and hurt him several other times??? I'm not sure what to feel about this because this makes the betrayal very very cooerced and that might flatten the character but it adds so many new layers as well. They also just push suitcase full of money on his arms and leave him there clutching the thing and sobbing??

Judas death ripped my heart out, it was so raw and cruel and also put emphasis on the cruelty of the catholic church and an uncaring or even cruel god?

and then he absolutely slayed in superstar. all the background dancers were the apostels (which was a deliberate choice because they had a huge cast they could have used for this), including Mary and they all had neon halos?? Judas descended from the ceiling. the staging was kinda similar to the 2012 revival with Judas as a show-caster and entertainer. there was golden glitter falling from the ceiling.

the whole production seemed very angry at institutionalized christianity and God himself but also full of hope and love, and superstar really examplified that.

Herode is the pope. Just straight up the pope. At first I was a bit underwhelmed because the set was very minimal bit then they revealed the pope and started their amazing choreography and I really loved that! just a good solid portrayal, very sexual as well. (this production was very much about hypocricy and not about condemming lust, the opposite really. this production is pretty sex-positive) 8/10

Caiaphas and Annas were pretty solid, like all the other high priests they were cardinals. I thought the actors did a good job although would have liked a deeper base for Caiaphas and a higher tenor for Annas. I thought it was interesting how often the priests/cardinals crossed themselves and blessed people and did christian gestures, especially during "This Jesus must die". They were also pretty violent both towards the apostels and towards jesus and judas.

Peter was really giving dark academia vibes except a bit more boring. I thought it was pretty funny that it was easy to tell that he was Peter just from the costume alone. he had a nice, warm voice and I liked the acting choices - he was very soft and calm, except for when he went absolutely wild on the SWAT team coming to arrest Jesus and broke a bottle to use a shard to cut of the ear (i suppose) of one of them. iconic. 8/10

Simon: what an icon! at one point, he carries petrol and a lighter around to fucking burn the whole thing to the ground. he is passionate and kind and ready to punch someone at any time. his acting and singing were really really good. At the last supper, Simon sucker punches Judas in the face and calls him a "fucking traitor" before shakily ending the song on his guitar to try and comfort the other apostels because their whole world just fell apart. I really love this Simon

Pilate: He had such a great voice and presence, and carried himself with a lot of gravitas. Pilates dream was very stripped down but it worked because of the actor. He seemed really desillusioned and kind but ultimately deafeated, conforming to the will of people around him (lower clergy and devout catholics in this version) (That reminds me, the ouverture was accompanied by various clergy making out in the vatican with each other while headlines about scandals in the church were projected in the background.

There are probably a lot of things I forgot to mention, and there were also some things I did not like about this production but overall, I am really really impressed and just happy that I got to see it live.

You can still see the production too btw, at least if you can make it to Nuremberg :)

[kenjiyabuki]

gmmtv 2025 wants and needs and predictions

i was in a yapping mood. feel free to comment :0)

anyone remember Captain from My School President? yeah, i forgot about him too until i was revisiting it last week. he is such a cutie and he really shone through in episode 6. yes he did, go back and check it. so, GMMTV, please take him out the basement in 2025 and at least give him a secondary role? i accept even if it is just one of those "main BL lead's goofy bestie" ones, just let him see the sun.

SO I THINK THIS WONT HAPPEN BECAUSE ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE but does anyone remember this interview where Jojo said he wanted to make an Sex and The City-esque series about the dating life of a guy with Gun Attaphan as the lead because it haunts me daily. if i believed in a god, this would be among my nightly prayers. especially after watching Love in the Big City, i just kept thinking how a Thai series like this would eat!!! my first choice would not be GMMTV to be honest (i want bigger budget!!!) but then, i would trust Jojo with a story like this. at least i would love to see his version. its obvious Jojo's other not BL series (3 Will Be Free, Mama Gogo, The Warp Effect, Dirty Laundry etc.) are more widely beloved than his BLs (Never Let Me Go, Only Friends). so maybe he would be more successful doing something that doesnt have to adhere to branded pairs and it just could be messy and queer as much as he can make it without the shipper fans nitpicking at everything. which, OKAY, i dont know if Gun fans are that blasé but i assume they are as he does work outside of BL and like... c'mon he is such a great actor, put him next to a pot of flowers and he could create chemistry.

Jojo also said he would like to work with Fourth... which is yes. YES, please. look, yeah Jojo sometimes disappoints but to me, he is still one of the most exciting directors in Thai BL. he has a VERY distinct style and i love him for it. its exciting to see which new actor will get the Jojo touch each year. he is such a actor's director and they always shine a different way through his lens. I just want to see what Jojo would make out of Fourth and Gun, both great talents!

some days i think there is no way AouBoom wont have main leads this year and other days my trust issues kick in... nevertheless, i think we wont be seeing them separated but i am asking the court, haven't they done their time in the side couple prison? didnt they pay their dues? if the court agrees, let's get them out of the uni uniforms and put them into something darker. something higher stakes, desperate love, fans nail biting every week, some new actors as the side couple etc.... AouBoom can handle it.

GL ANTHOLOGY/ENSEMBLE SERIES. at least two. one in the messy Only Friends type of way, the other a saccharine romcom a la We Are. for cast i want them to put all the ladies in that GMMTV building in there, even the female flies buzzing around

tbh, if we are going to get another long ass New show, i want BL AND GL couples. like i dont understand why all BLs have to be sausage fests like why cant we have best of both worlds together in one series........... i need to see more useless lesbian and dumb gay friendship representation stat. (e.g. The Warp Effect or Bad Buddy)

a more personalized wish for GL: i think she is back from maternity leave so, i want Fah in a GL purely for my self interest. she is just so talented and gorgeous and i want to see her kiss other gorgeous girls... i want to say Namtan but i think NamtanFilm might keep going through 2025, which okay, not complaining!!!!!!!!!

i KNOW GeminiFourth will have another series because i think they have been saying it or at least confirmed that they intend to keep working together. they make GMMTV lots of money so i dont see any chance for them to not have new series. they also expressed that they wanted get out of the high school uniforms which is like YEAH. yeah, boys. i agree. last year i was so disappointed to see them in My Love Mix-Up. it felt like such a setback after MSP and their spectacular work in Moonlight Chicken. just get them out the those blue shorts and put them in whatever, that's my (our) only wish.

i love them but i think want FirstKhaotung to rest. or i just want to see them something not exactly BL. yeah, i cant believe i am saying this as well. excited to see them in THK. no further comments.

might be an unpopular opinion but PLEASE no japanese BL remakes. please. i think it doesnt translate well. i am sorry...

i dont follow them that closely but i think GreatInn confirmed they will keep working together. BUTTT how about ThorFluke tho👀 will we get any crumbs from them?

WinnySatang… i think they have lots of room for improvement in their acting (i feel the emotions but they can look stiff) which affects their chemistry's physicality (e.g. sometimes they leave room for several Jesuses). still, i find them endearing together and see lots of potential and growth in the future IF they also want to keep on being a ship. tbh, i dont see them ready to tackle being leads yet so i am okay to see them as secondary again. and also singular roles in other BLs or non BLs.

MarcPoon. in whatever way or shape or form they think we deserve it. i just want to see more of them on my screen, together or not. but if together, preferably in a different dynamic than We Are (looking at you Perfect 10 Liners…). i adored Poon in Shadow, i would love to see him in a horror or just anything challenging again.

Lego of LYKN in his own BL?????????? that has to happen at one point, no? something to do with dancing, hopefully????

OffGun is already confirmed for next year. and full disclosure, i am soooo biased. generally i want couples to mix and match but i like OffGun together so much, i dont think i will ever complain about them. they could've been on their 78th BL and i would be like "okay, when is the next one?". my only wish would be for them to go back to the darker, more challenging, higher stakes kind of BL in the vein of Not Me again.

i think we can all agree when we see that trailer with Podd & Papang on that screen we wont even be shocked...

on the topic of shock, i want a new unexpected BL pair that will make us feel gagged and gooped and gobsmacked like the announcement of OhmNanon (rip) or JossGawin. hit us where we least expect it!

[moonyswritinq]

If you're still taking request and if it's okay could you do smth small ( the format you're more comfortable/in the mood for ) for a male reader in a queerplatonic relationship with Eddie ? Love your writing and thank you !

eddie munson in a queer platonic relationship

❝ HEY, HANDSOME ❞

SYNOPSIS ➢ Headcanons for Eddie Munson in a queer platonic relationship with you.

PAIRING ➢ eddie munson x male reader

CONTENT WARNING ➢ swearing, fluff, mentions of weed and alcohol

WORD COUNT ➢ 1.1 k

AUTHORS NOTE ➢ thank you so much for the compliment and for the request, i hope i made it justice! this is written with a male reader in mind, but it can be imagined as gender neutral, as well.

MASTERLIST

You and Eddie first met in class in high school, bumping into each other.

You had noticed him before, with his eccentric persona and unique style of clothing, but had never dared approach him until now. He immediately recognised you, as you stood out from the rest of your peers with a queerness equal to his.

The two of you got to talking and quickly realised you got on well together. You could match his level of quirkiness, retorting quickly with wit and cleverness.

When you went your separate ways, Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about you. He realised he needed to get to know you better.

And so your friendship began, similar to of the falling headfirst into a deep pit without being able to get back out.

You were immediately close to each other, and there was no turning back.

It’s no secret Eddie sucks at the subjects in school and that his grades are all very low, so he’d often beg for your help and tutoring with those puppy eyes of his. You stood no chance of denying him.

Eddie’s an open person and would allow you into all parts of himself — just sort of dumping all of him onto you.

He introduced you to all of his interests at once; his favourite artists and songs; the wonder of D&D roleplaying;  him and his bandmates’ band; even teaching you a few things on his guitar.

If you play D&D, you’d sit right next to him at every session, even helping with some campaigns. He loves playing with you. If you don’t play, he’d insist to have you there, still, just to be near you. And if you played any instruments, he’d want you to join his band.

In turn, he will listen to you talking about all your interests with equal enthusiasm, and wanting to be shown all of them.

Eddie will try to remember everything you tell about yourself, storing the information to be able to surprise you with it later. Although his memory would fail him sometimes, the effort was still endearing to you.

The two of you didn’t really define you relationship, making it into something that was not quite romantic but still not strictly friend-like. You enjoyed each other’s company and were happy to leave it at that.

He likes to keep you especially close, just having some sort of physical contact at all possible times. He’s touch deprived, aright?

In public, Eddie will mostly settle for just an arm around you or to lean against you. In private, though, he is much more demanding; wanting to hold your hand, interlock your fingers, almost to the point of cuddling, and tracing his fingers across any tattoos you might have.

When he’s under some sort of influence this is increased tenfold and he would just dump his whole body on you like a weighted blanket, the weight of him a bit suffocating but also comforting.

If he’s too revved up to stay still beside you, he would play-punch you, hopping on light feet, and which would eventually lead to a play-fight. Who’d win depended on how irritated you’d be with him, and if you’d let him win or not.

Eddie likes to argument about things, but in a banter-kind-of-way. Whether it be music, which he’s especially passionate about, or the best ways to get high or drunk. You’d call each other things like fucker, prick, idiot, and twat, but in an endearing way.

He’s a cheeky motherfucker — and he knows you love it though.

Eddie’s favourite thing to spend time with you is to put on some of his favourite music and sing along to it, having a karaoke party all by your own; or to spend a day out, either walking around the woods or driving around in his van; or to get high and just laugh at stupid shit together.

Let’s be honest, everything he does with you is Eddie’s favourite thing. He’s happy to spend any time with you, no matter what you do together.

Eddie would always drag you to his concerts (if you weren’t already part of the band) and you loved to see him perform.

You’d often help with getting him ready, both with preparing his equipment and his outfits.

You introduced him to eyeliner and he’s been obsessed with it ever since. He always gets you to do it for him, straddling his hips to gingerly hold his face as you applied the makeup. He loves the intimacy and how beautiful you make him look.

Your conversations are always interesting, ranging from the silliest things, such as how melons are considered berries, to the important and big things in life, like future plans. Sometimes you’re just quipping back and forth petty retorts, sarcastic and witty with your banter. You’re always entertained in each other’s company.

With how much time the two of you spend together and how you clung to each other, people would often assume you were a couple. You’d just deny them, saying you two are friends, which the rest of your friends rightfully doubted. Or, if they seemed to be having a problem with it, Eddie and you would fuck with them and be even more affectionate with each other.

It didn’t help people’s assumptions either that Eddie loved nicknames. He’d go around addressing you with hot stuff, handsome, good looking, and his favourite, pretty boy.

He’d be in the middle of a band practice, pausing to call to you:

“Hey, handsome, would you kindly turn the speaker up? Can’t even hear my guitar over the drums.”

You’d just nod and comply without a second thought, while the other bandmates stared at the two of you.

“What?” Eddie asked.

“You just called y/n handsome. Is anything going on between you?”

“No? I just stated a fact. Don’t you consider him good looking?”

“Didn’t say that.”

“Yeah? Then there you have it.”

“Stop bullying them, Eddie.”

“What’d you say, hot stuff?”

He’s a prick, and he knows it, by the cheeky grin he always sent you. He loved fucking with people like that, and implying things that weren’t happening, almost like it was a hobby of his. You admired the commitment though.

Sometimes you’d retort with your own flirty nicknames, turning the conversation into a competition of who could out-flirt the other.

At the end of the day, Eddie is glad to have you in his life, always looking forward to the next time you’d see each other.

And he’d often want to go to sleep with you beside him, cuddling or not. Just your mere presence calmed him and allowed him to sleep peacefully without the help of weed or alcohol.

All in all, you are happy in each other’s company and had a deep connection, something that extended the normal restrictions of friendships and relationships. It doesn’t matter what you labeled it as, as long as Eddie and you were happy.

if you enjoyed this, PLEASE LEAVE A LIKE, REPLY, AND REBLOG

© 2023 all rights reserved to ❝ moonyswritinq ❞. do not plagiarize, steal, repost w/o credit or use for your own gain.

[nicosraf]

My question has SPOILERS! So please look away if u don’t wanna see! Also, I’m sorry for so many questions ahhhhhhh

What is Phanuel’s feelings towards Michael? I know that Lucifer expressed feelings of jealousy over their closeness (or at least that’s how I interpreted it with Lucifer ripping Phanuels face off), but were they unfounded? The way I read Phanuel was more of a platonic friend (especially since he did tease Lucifer, that one time with Michael around— saying that Lucifer talked about Michael a LOT when he wasn’t around). But after the trauma they both went through, I do wonder if their friendship has gotten a lot more intimate since we last saw them.

Also, does Michael ever get jealous in Book 2 because of Lucifer and Baal’s “closeness”? I imagine that Baal and Lucifer get closer in Book 2 simply due to the fact that he was kind of like… the runner-up love interest (?) in Book 1, and the fact that they would be spending a lot of time together after The Fall. (But I’m sure Lucifer is playing with Baal more than he actually cares for him).

Anyway, I’m excited to read Book 2 once it releases! And to read more about Azazel and how gender will be explored more after the creation of Woman. I love your characterizations of the angels and am so, so, so excited about how you’ll write demons :)

(PS I reread Paradise Lost for the first time after high school after I finished ABM and it was a trip)

Hello! Please dw! I am so bad at going through my inbox sometimes but I try really hard and appreciate any asks :')

SPOILERS for ABM (and a tad of A&M) under the cut

Lucifer was less jealous about their closeness and more so blaming Phanuel for Michael not joining him during the rebellion — which is unreasonable. Lucifer basically sees them together and invents this whole scenario where Michael was going to run away to Lucifer but Phanuel stopped him.

'You did this. You’re why Michael denied me. It had to be you.’ He saw it so perfectly in his mind that it had to be true. Michael telling Phanuel that he regretted his decision, that he was going to apologize to Lucifer. Phanuel saying it was a bad idea. Michael, who would have left to find Lucifer and stood with him in the center, surrendering. This was all wrong because of Phanuel; it was his fault...

We know this didn't happen; Michael was sleeping and Phanuel was just there to comfort him. So Lucifer is being unfounded with his beliefs regardless.

But about Phanuel's relationship with Michael — I kinda hesitate to use the word platonic. Angels are very close and I think the lines between friendship and romance are incredibly blurred for them (typical gay friend group lmao). In a short (thought non-canonical) story I wrote a long time ago, I referenced that Phanuel once kissed Michael on the mouth during a celebration, which I still consider probably canon. I guess if I had to put a label to it, they would be more like queer-platonic friends. So, Phanuel and Michael don't have romantic feelings, but they are both respectively very queer and they would be comfortable doing things we might associate to be romantic (cuddling and even sharing a kiss or two).

If Part 2 never occurred, Lucifer could probably watch Phanuel and Michael cuddle and not think that much about it, except maybe pout because he wants to be in Michael's arms at the moment. (He might just squeeze in between them though; what's better than being squished between the angel you love and his nice friend?) Angels are just very queer platonic-y, really. Romance is less about actions for them and more about feeling.

And ohhhoho does Michael ever get jealous of Baal.... I'm hesitating to answer because the relationship between the 3 is hilarious to me and I don't want to give too much away. Also, "runner-up love interest" is making me laugh but it's very true I think.

I guess, if you asked Baal, he would say Michael is very jealous of him and that he loves being married to Lucifer.

If you asked Lucifer, he would say what marriage.

Michael would not reply.

Anyway!!! I'm really glad you're excited for the sequel :') I hope you enjoy it. It's very weird about gender and I'm a bit scared to see how people will react to it but ,, i hope it is good

[handyowlet]

I’ve seen a lot of discourse lately about the newer parts of this (and other) fandoms. Some of it is just calling out people for bad behavior, but some of it seems downright hostile to people just for being new, and that seems unfair to me. Anyone who is being a dick to others should ABSOLUTELY be dragged for that, whether they’ve been around for 6 months or 6 years. Common decency should be the baseline.

But we can’t control when we became aware of a fandom, or when a new world was opened up to us. And trying to lock people out, devalue their opinions, or refuse to engage with them at all simply because you were here first is just mean.

For example, I was obsessed with My Little Pony back when I watched The Glass Princess (1986) on VHS multiple times a day. But it’s been a long time since then, and while Friendship is Magic is not the same, I don’t begrudge anyone loving it and I don’t think I would be a more important fan or that my opinions would be more valid just because cause I loved it before a newer fan did, especially because I am (probably much) older than a lot of those fans. I only got there first because I was born first and my mom bought that tape. This isn’t exactly the same as some of you because I’m not into MLP any more, but my daughter’s starting to love it, and I’m not going to keep her from watching the new stuff just because it isn’t the old stuff.

I was only 5 when GO was published, so of course there are people who read it and fell in love with it before I did, because I was a child and didn’t know it existed. I didn’t know about a lot of things- I didn’t know anything about Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, etc. until college because my parents didn’t let me. I only learned about Rocky Horror, Eddie Izzard, RENT, Queer as Folk, etc. because of the people I met in Creative Writing and drama club in high school, because they had been given access to those things and shared them with me. Drag Race was several years old before someone introduced me to that.

I am relatively new to this fandom, even though I did read the book many years before the show came out. I didn’t even know there was going to be a show until suddenly there was, and I loved S1, but circumstances in my life kept me from becoming obsessed. I also had no idea S2 was coming until right before it came out, and by then I was in a place where the brain rot was able to take hold. I thought Tumblr was like Tindr until around then as well, and I had no idea AO3 even existed. No one else I known IRL knows what these things are either, except for what I’ve told them. I don’t think my participation in this fandom should be any less valid just because I didn’t have access to it before now.

I have dived into this fandom headfirst and unabashedly. I still don’t understand all of how Tumblr and AO3 work, but now that I’m here, I participate as much as I can (sometimes I don’t respond to those tagging posts because I haven’t figured it out yet). I post on Tumblr when I think I have something to say, and try to boost others who say things I think might enrich someone else’s life too. I devour fanfic on a daily basis, leaving kudos and comments and recommending anything I’ve liked to anyone who will listen because I want to support the amazing artists in this community and spread the happiness they’ve brought to me. I try to engage with anyone who engages with me, and I’d like to think I’ve been respectful to you all (but I know I can be blunt too, so if ever I am a twat waffle, feel free to drag my ass for that).

I guess my bottom line is, while I’ve mostly felt very safe, loved, and accepted jn this fandom, the anti-newbie discourse is disheartening. I will absolutely join you in blasting anyone who chooses to be an asshole, but I’m never going to support the unnecessary gatekeeping. I don’t think Aziraphale, Crowley, Michael, David, Terry, or Neil would either.

Thank you to all of you who have shown love and acceptance to me. I’ll strive to return it and pay it forward to every chance I get.

[chaniis-atlantis]

Writing interview tag game!!

Tagged by @bagheerita love this!! I love talking about my writing!

About me

When did you start writing?

I would say I started writing as soon as I knew how, but I started in earnest in middle school. My sixth grade English teacher was incredibly encouraging of the work I showed her (as were my parents), and that really helped me to feel confident in just keeping going

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

Yeah lol. So I write super long fics, but I have OCD and a big part of that is that, as I've gotten older, I struggle to read words on a page with any sort of speed. So I have a lot of trouble reading long form stuff because of the stress it causes. I get around this with original work by listening to audio books, but for fic, there really isn't much I can do about it besides try.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Not ever compared to anyone, and I also wouldn't say I emulate anyone in particular. Though for my og works I take inspiration from Samatha Shannon and Madeline Miller in regard to writing style

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

So I can't really work at home, so my space is coffee shops! There is a particular one where I live where the music isn't too loud, the lighting is warm and the tea is fantastic. I wrote my senior thesis there :)

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Ugh, time. When I'm in a rut I'm in a rut and there isn't much I can do about it tbh. Though sometimes if I talk to friends about it for long enough, something comes clear.

If I'm not in a rut, my muses come through music

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Yes and no. I write high fantasy and horror, so I tend to pull away from where I grew up and go toward places I dream of. However, I write almost exclusively queer stories and that I owe to 1) being queer and 2) growing up in Florida and around queer people like myself whose family/wider community did not support them. Everything I write is a love letter to queer people, especially the ones who have been pushed away for being who they are.

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

Oh yeah. In both fic and og work I think I write a lot about loss and grief, finding identity, found family and how it heals. I write about people from opposite worlds falling in love or in friendship. I tend to center characters who are other from the world they live in, whether that's because of a physical aspect or an emotional/personality one.

Not surprised at all since those themes come from personal experience and the feelings I have about life and it's meaning

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

This will surprise no one but, Todd! I love him! Probably because it's so easy for me to write the Wraith with one of those themes in mind. I'm obsessed with monsters (I think because of the queerness) and especially how societies in these stories treat them. I love basically forcing Stargate to treat the Wraith as the interesting characters they are.

Todd is so perfect because he's so old and so weird for a Wraith. He's just begging to be put under a microscope. And I do, I do

I'll also say that in my behemoth "Across the Universe," I have several original characters. My fav of them is a character I haven't shown yet, but I've mentioned, and that is Todd's dad. This guy is kind of insane and also my darling. He's got, I guess just as much backstory and baggage as I've given Todd in that fic and (my favorite) a fic-canon altering twist in his arsenal. I also like to pair him with Ronan in my mind palace, which sounds batshit (and is), but you can blame my proclivity for enemies to lovers as trope for that. But that is so far into the future of that universe that it might as well not even exist (FirstLight, the Wraith you are)

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

I would want to be Todd's friend, but I don't think he'd want to be mine lol.

I'd love to be friends with the entire core SGA group but it's a little hard to imagine how.

I think Teyla and I would get along, and I would love to be her friend. Ronan and I might get along too, but I'm not very active, so we wouldn't have many hobbies in common. But I think I could vibe with him in the mess hall.

Same situation for someone like Weir. Not a lot in common.

In my dream world, Sheppard and I would be besties, but I'm not sure he could handle how emotional I get, and I don't know if I could handle how closed off he is. I think the person I would actually get along with most is McKay because, tbh I yap that much too and am also a bit of an insecure mess. I would like listening to him talk about his ideas and I think he would appreciate that.

Of course, I wouldn't be able to get past the war crimes these people commit, so actually none of them haha

Jumping to another fandom: I think Aziraphale and me could be friends. We both like reading and food and I think we could have some fun conversations about literature.

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

Hmm...okay so obviously Kolya.

I love Micheal as a character, but he would terrify me in real life.

Kavanaugh is pretty obvious

I wouldn't want anything to do with a single person from Hannibal in real life. Maybe season 1 Will.

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Honestly, I couldn't tell you. They spawn out of nowhere as I imagine scenes. I guess they develop that way too. I think about them in the scene, and their personalities and traits reveal themselves to me.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

Oh yeah. They tend to be outcasts, they tend to be queer. They also tend to be magical or have some extra trait to what is typically human. I also really enjoy writing morally grey characters and sympathetic villians

How do you picture your characters?

I can see stuff pretty clearly in my head, but I also use Picrew and Sims to make them sometime

My writing

What’s your reason for writing?

It's everything to me. Really, it's nothing specific. My life would be empty without writing. It's my passion.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

I love comments that talk about moments from the story they enjoyed. It makes me feel good about my ideas🥰

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I've never thought about this specifically. I don't know if I want anything really other for them to enjoy it. Maybe in a fantasy, they'd think I was clever or inspiring, but I just want what I write to give people joy.

For my original writing, I do hope that my writing can speak to my queer community.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think I'm the best at characters. I like my prose itself (for what it is right now) but I think that my character creation skills, and specifically how they blend into the plot and work with each other, are what I'm doing right the most. World building is also a strength

Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

Characters and world building! Lol

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm at a place in my life where I don't think I suck. I also don't think I'm the best ever. I think that I can improve and that great is finally a visible goal.

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

Yes. I need to write like I need to breath. It would suck to not be able to share it, but that wouldn't stop me from creating.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

Eh I'm not really sure. I think I lean more towards writing for myself. Sometimes I tamp down my ideas if they are something I know wouldn't fit the story (if I'm already writing it) or wouldn't really fit the world as much as I'd like them to.

Whew! I'm doing laundry at my hostel right now so this was a good distraction

Npt: @annwayne @sga-owns-my-soul @adriankyte-writes @aintgonnatakethis @mx-seraph @original-asteria @trainofcommand @anonmadsci @spurious

[cowboyjen68]

I think I'm mostly just venting about this but I also feel like you have some amazing sage wisdom just like you do for everyone.

My best friend of 10 years (highschool onward) and the last friend I have who is cis just dropped me out of nowhere. He claimed it was because I moved and we were "already growing apart" but I can't help but think it was my queerness.

I recently came out to friends and family as a lesbian (about 3 years ago) and came out to friends only as not cis around the same time. It was after this that he stopped talking to me as much and just generally treated me weird.

I've since moved away and we stayed friends until he dropped me out of the blue. I have no more long-term friends now. Nobody from my hometown talks to me after that as all of our mutual acquaintances dropped me too after he did.

I'm sure it's for the best in the end but I feel so lost not having a best friend, a person who knows who I am, around. Especially with how scared I feel to be in queer spaces with rising tensions, I guess I'm just feeling lost.

I am going to come at this from my experience. High school is such a time of growth and change, friendships from that time in our life can be hard to hold on to, especially with a connection as strong as you feel when you are growing up and experiencing things together in similar circumstances. 

Maintaining a friendship between young men and women can be incredibly different as they start to reach maturity since they receive different socialization and information from both the outside world and from the inside changes their bodies are experiencing as puberty does its job.  

It is possibly just a matter of you growing apart as humans and not necessarily due to some judgment of your sexuality on his part. He perhaps just feels less of an ability to connect with you as time has gone on and even because, as a straight man, he just doesn’t have as much in common with you. When we are younger those differences are less important but as we age and have more access to a wider variety of people those differences can be more pronounced. 

I have kept in FB contact with many high school friends and my best friend and I communicate once in a while but in all reality, we rarely see each other, our lives are very different and we don’t share the connection we once had. I will always call her “my best friend” because she was my first best friend and we shared so many life changing moments together. She will always be special to me. When I came out she accepted me and was not surprised because she knew me better than anyone. The fact is, time has made us less close. And that is okay. We had a wonderful childhood together and spent many years making memories. We haven't lost any of those even as our connection faded and we went in separate directions. 

Even IF your friend (friends) have walked away from you because you are a lesbian, maybe because they feel uncomfortable with you know, or maybe because they don’t know how to relate to you or just because life is moving on the end result is the same. 

You might never know and, frankly, it does not matter. It is pretty common for us to find new friends in each stage of life. HIgh school, college, career, middle age, marriage, retirement, or whatever place we are at. Sometimes we hang on to a few over a lifetime but even those friendships can ebb and flow with time. 

You will find new friends who share more in common with you. You will discover others who are a better fit in your life as you are right now. Let those old friendships organically fade and put your energy into finding new people who are worthy of your time and energy. Right now the change is scary and feeling alone is a terrifying feeling. Look for those who share your values and ideas. It is better to be on your own for a while than compromise who you are. 

I often suggest that we seek other lesbians to befriend because they share so much of the same experiences and foundations we have in our lives. Remember, not all lesbians are a good fit. Being a lesbian does not preclude people from being jerks or from being vastly different from you. Don’t discount a friend because she does not share your sexuality. Judge others on how you enjoy their friendship and how they enjoy yours. But seeking lesbian/bi women circles can be a good focus. When you know  2 lesbians they each know 2 more and on and on. You don’t need to go to larger mixed spaces like bars and pride events to meet each other. Look for local zines published by lesbians, FB spaces, meetup app or dating apps with “friendship” options can be a help. Try your library and see if they have lesbian book clubs and if not, start one. Be creative and keep searching.

[jaanusbooktalk]

Café con Lychee by Emery Lee - Book Review

6/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: homophobia, racism, cultural appropriation, fear of being outed, toxic friendships, bullying

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while! I just started senior year and everything’s been moving kinda fast, but I have gotten the chance to read a lot!

Most recently, I’ve read:

On a Sunbeam (graphic novel by Tillie Walden)

Rainbow in the Dark by Sean McGinty

Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun by Jonny Garza Villa

Love from A to Z by S.K. Ali

Lobizona by Romina Garber

Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

My So-Called Bollywood Life by Nisha Sharma

I’m currently reading Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner 🍜

^me and my college applications rn😭

Summary:

“Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet.

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count.

Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke?”

Representation:

This will be an own voices review since I’m coming from an Asian American & queer perspective, but we are not a monolith and not everyone will agree with my interpretation.

To be honest, I had really high expectations for this book. It had been in my TBR ever since I heard it was coming out, and I was super excited to read about two queer PoC falling in love (not to mention the enemies to lovers and food!!) but it ended up falling short in a lot of ways.

For representation, Theo Mori is Japanese and Chinese (if I remember correctly) and Gabi Moreno is Puerto Rican. While Theo is gay and out, Gabi is very much in the closet and struggles with his father’s machismo expectations.

I will say that while this is the author’s own experience growing up in these cultures, the book’s impact depended on the readers. For white readers, the book would appear to reinforce negative stereotypes like Asian parents pushing for perfect grades, and Latinx parents being machismo and sexist.

It’s one of those things that for Asian kids, we know that sometimes our parents can be strict, but it’s not something that applies to all Asian parents. I would have liked to see some of those stereotypes challenged in this book instead of reinforced.

That being said, the book did a really good job of showing the struggles of being in the closet, especially with a homophobic family.

What I Liked:

I liked the plot and how it flowed - nothing seemed choppy or didn’t make sense. There was always a reason the characters were doing what they did, and even if you didn’t agree with it you understood their motivations.

I needed a good beach read when I picked this up, and it did not disappoint. I also love love love when romance books have switching perspectives - it adds a lot of dimension to the characters.

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

Sadly, this book ended up falling into a lot of unfortunate stereotypes that I felt readers from other backgrounds wouldn’t recognize as such. I discussed this a bit already, but it was to the extent that I had to put the book down at times. I also didn’t really like how the “enemies to lovers” aspect was basic - they genuinely had little reason to hate each other and it was mostly one sided. This is later acknowledged so that they can have a romance, but it fell flat for me. I prefer when characters have complex motivations, especially for a plot line that propels so much of the book.

Ultimately, I’m grateful for the representation this book brings to the table and I hope it can make people feel seen, I just didn’t enjoy the writing as much as I wanted to. For a debut novel, it’s not bad!

I can’t think of any recommendations like this book at the moment (because this is a months-old draft) but I’ll keep an eye out!

Thanks for reading!

[morninkim]

What's your favorite example of an underdeveloped relationship/dynamic from the show that you put a lot of thought into for Rise? c:

Ooooooohhhhh good question good question

I think the relationships between the Rangers specifically were pretty well explored in the show, and I'll have to do a proper rewatch at some point to really get a feel for what could be missing from some interactions BUT I have a couple

Rise Tommy and Zack are so important to me. Like. They both love their mothers, Zack's a lot more open about it than Tommy since he's known his WAY longer. They encourage each other with their respective girlfriends - the S1 ep where they team up and Zack gets the dragon shield is so so good, that influenced a lot of my thoughts about them - and, especially when it comes to trans stuff, they feel like the other just gets it. They're T4T friendship goals fr

Kim and Trini, while I think is very cute and fun in the show, is another relationship I LOVE in Rise. I mentioned in the series outline post that Trini's there to let Kim cut loose when her parents get divorced, since hers did the same thing years ago, plus similar with Zack/Tommy, they both love their dads so much (idk if I'll design parents but I imagine that Trini's dad has obvious smile lines and Kim's dad's forehead is permanently wrinkled from Business Man Things) - Trini's also there to help Kim with queer stuff when she realises she likes Tommy, since she's never liked a girl before!! But she's excited about it!! But nervous!! And through Kim's excitement for discovering herself, Trini's able to get more and more comfortable with coming out to everyone

Skull and Billy's childhood friend thing from GGPR was something I wanted to carry over to Rise, difference being that they were friends in kindergarten until Billy's parents took him out of public school to teach him at home. Now in High School Billy sometimes lends Skull a hand with schoolwork (Autistic to ADHD Communication) and while Skull does get frustrated and they clash sometimes, they're good friends at the end of the day.

Similarly, Jason and Kim were friends in early Elementary School but went to different Middle Schools, so they're just kinda friendily floating around each other at first. But by the finale, Jason's like the older brother Kim never had but always wanted and acts like the biggest goober in the world around her to keep her smiling, while she's. Very Loud at football games to support him and Zack, and eventually Tommy as well she joins the team.

OH OH OH OKAY ACTUALLY REAL ANSWER Richie, Tommy and Curtis as a friend group are SO IMPORTANT. RISE SEASON 1 NEW KID TRIO. Richie and Curtis are lot more extroverted than Tommy and help her get a lil more comfortable around school, Curtis introduces her to Zack, which obvs leads to her meeting the rest of the Rangers and becoming friends with them. One of my fave things has been taking these two characters who really were just introduced to be White Ranger red herrings and making them MATTER. Richie sees Tommy getting close with Kim and is like "oh like, y'know, Kim's friends with Trini right? And you're also friends with her? Think you could,,, hook a butch up?" and Tommy just. Is terrible at being a wingwoman and is like "woahhh y'know Richie's preeeetty cool, she once saved a cat from a tree without using a ladder. Just fully flew up there. Ain't that neat, Trini? Don't you think that's sick?" and Trini's like. Ah. I know what's going on here. Curtis is sweet, but he does get insecure about being stuck as the "funny haha friend" no one really takes seriously but Richie and Tommy are like No dude. We love you. Let's go see a movie. Plus he's just so helpful and will drop anything to lend a hand, so Richie genuinely appreciates his un-asked-for-but-desperately-needed help at the Juice Bar

[seoafin]

Hello Morgan :) I just read chapters 1 & 2 of Dog days are over and .. xhsbacbksdjcb it was so good I have become incoherent. hence why - -- hhhh .... when i .. when he- when. they. hhh .. .... when- the mc- ....

Wah, I can't even find the words to describe how enamoured I am of it. Stsg? ? Forget about them .. Who are they anyways. Irrelevant. I am instead giving you and rip!mc flowers (if you want them, or any little gift you want!) .. Mc .. she deserves the world. i mean these three words, i do. Stsg are so annoying honestly. I would fall for her face first. The way you do with that one high school friend you have a very queer friendship with .. oddly specific but yeah I love her sm LMAOO. And you !! You deserve to get *all* the love you put in your works back tenfold and more for your wonderful writing, Morgan!!

I have already sent a few asks full of compliments on anon but tbh I would repeat what I said word by word as many times as it's needed. This fic alone is a lot of work from all points of view, and I want to let you know I personally am grateful for the chance to read it .. It's enriching (I hope this is an actual english word lol) and it's pleasant to read; the universe you created is vibrant .. realistic as in immersive and (sometimes painfully) relatable, especially the mc - she feels so human and I think I can say I relate and have related to her, which is a little sad - but reading it also feels comforting (i believe that truly is the unifying potential of fanfic and writing in general).

There are so many things i could say about these two chapters but i think i'll leave them for AO3 comments (didn't someone say tumblr asks are temporary but ao3 comments are permanent?). Rn I just want to focus on how beautifully outlined rip!mc's feelings are. The loneliness .. The image of a single mother and her kid in her apartment .. Her thinking about her future (woah, that one hurt. in a good way though) and the prospect of being left behind .. I've been going through quite strange times (& writing sad stuff? idk why it is, is it the strange weather?) so that passage was kind of the nail in the coffin, the final blow for me - but in a good, cathartic way, i promise!! (also. i loved "nail in the coffin" - i hope i got the title right. it did something to me. my dirty mind couldn't stop thinking about the way geto stole mc's panties mainly because i have too many [redacted] geto thoughts and that includes panty taking. but this is just a side note.) (and gojo. the leash line. i think, in that, me and mc are different because i would've said yes in the blink of an eye - yeah that's concerning of me but everyone has their flaws right??. lol. the "what do you want" "everything" exchange. i don't think i'll ever recover. in a good way).

When i find something i like this much I think I'd need a 10k word frame minimum to analyze and dissect it over and over .. so I'll stop rambling for everyone's safety 😂. But yeah, I hope this silly comment gives you back even an ounce of the warmth your writing gives me (& i'm sure i'm not the only one)!! and please don't feel obligated at all to respond to this. I just really wanted to say these things :)). i hope you have a good day !

hi friend!!!!! can i just say how much i was smiling reading this because i was SMILING so hard my friend thought i was texting a man (as if please lmfao) everyone being so nice and encouraging about this fic is going to make me cry. like i was not kidding when i said that this fic was loved into existence because i had no intention of actually writing an actual fic for them!!! but im doing it!!! because everyone is so enthusiastic about it!!! im glad u and many others enjoy rip!mc because the amount of self sabotage in this fic....i need to endear her to everyone LOL

this ask gave me so much serotonin never apologize for sending it in!!!!! if anything have me back warmth and happiness in SPADES. thank you so so soo much for reading <3333 i hope u have such an amazing wonderful bright day 😭😭😭 once again i am so touched that you liked the fic enough to write me this wonderful ask 😭😭😭

[uefb]

RAMBLING and UNNECESSARILY LONG (and, also, simply unnecessary) AUTHOR’S NOTE for THE MOST VICIOUS CREATURES ON THE PLANET 

Literally you do not need to read this. Seriously. You don’t. Just read the story. This is just the kind of person I am and I would say ‘Why am I like this?’ but I absolutely know. Anyway, read on to boredom at your own risk.

Again, story is here.

Authors note:

You may notice in my writing about Newt’s childhood, I do write him with more visibly autistic behaviors than he displays in adulthood. This is intentional, and based partially on the portrayal of Young!Newt in Crimes of Grindelwald. Many autistic people who professionals or researchers call “high functioning” or “low support needs” or autistic people without other co-occurring intellectual disabilities develop skills as they mature to not only blend in but to promote their own physical safety (though masking and suppression of autistic traits is increasingly associated with less desired mental health outcomes). You can learn about some of the ways autistic people try to do this here. (I also recommend Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price, an autistic social psychologist.)  All that being said, I try not to infantalise Newt in my writing, or write him as adorably and helplessly oblivious, even if he often is — I think its important (and humanizing!) for him to be just as capable of making mistakes as everyone else.

Next, I utterly failed to pick up on any Newt and Leta romantic tension while watching the films and maybe that’s the autism in me, but I write them as extremely close friends at the least, and queer platonic at the most. (I have heard from some non-autistic people that they didn’t think it was romantic either.) The tidbits we see reminded me of one of my own friendships in university/undergraduate school, which was utterly devoted (probably queer platonic) if entirely non-sexual and non-romantic and, yes, sometimes a…smidge unhealthy. There’s hints of some of her “taking” behaviour in this story, but not much — because I do think she and Newt had a good relationship before things went south. Newt can only see her behaviours, not what’s in her head. The decision to show Newt & Leta as close friends is a personal choice for the purposes of this fic especially—you are welcome to feel about Leta and their relationship however you would like. 

Necessary disclaimers: 1.) All autistic people are different. 2.) Keep in mind Newt may be a bit of an unreliable narrator. What he describes is accurate, but his view is limited—he’s only 13, after all.

Truly more excessive rambling below the cut...

I’ve included some of my own experiences in this fic. For example, even as an undiagnosed child, I could not often speak to people outside my family in completely unstructured situations and would flounder into silence after hello. My mother specifically instructed me over the years—from about age 8 to 14—on how to maintain the flow of conversation, to tolerate small talk, to listen and reflect, how to end a conversation appropriately, etc. I was literally paid with quarters to approach people I knew from school when in public to learn how to be polite and say hello and have a back-and-forth conversation about things that weren’t Harry Potter, peat bog mummies, or Bilbo Baggins. When I became involved in special interests that required me to actually talk to people or that inspired me to speak up unprompted (civil and human rights, for example, as an adolescent), I was actually able to better practice and develop arguably more casual conversational skills. You’ll see that a bit with Newt, as well, particularly in Chapter Two, in the way Theseus instructs him, and in how it is implied Newt’s able to talk to Leta with relative ease, because she has enough knowledge of creatures for him to anchor everything back to that in their conversations. 

You’ll also notice there’s an implication throughout that Newt, perhaps, does not always think about other people’s intentions toward him or others, an unfortunate naivete that tends to put autistic people repeatedly at risk do to less of an instinct for social-based guessing (or ‘mindreading’, as…some researchers like to call it). (Though as one gains more data over life, one can better predict and avoid physical and emotional harm.) Finally, two last things: While Newt does explicitly, physically stim in the Fantastic Beasts films (picking at buttons and fingers, fingers on seams, occasional rocking), some autistic adults have more “obvious” stims in childhood. My own jumping turned into rocking, flapping into finger & button picking, table-drumming into knuckle-cracking, etc. And on meltdowns: For some autistic people, meltdowns are more common in childhood than adulthood, with shutdowns becoming more predominant in autistic adults or, in a best case scenario, both being reduced due to the autistic adult’s ability to recognize stress ahead of time and diffuse it before a dramatic, regulating “reset” is necessary. (Though for people who have meltdowns, they don’t tend to just ‘go away’. It’s not something you developmentally grow out of.) This is the sort of progression I write for Newt in this universe, which is why—again—you’ll notice more autistic traits in this piece than in a lot of my others. 

There’s also a few passing bits of musing on gender in here because emerging research suggests that autistic people are more likely than non-autistic people to identify as trans or non-binary (perhaps, because, the ability to understand social roles is not innate to us, and many of us thus question the systems we’re born into). Honestly, I’ve most specifically included it out of spite—as an autistic, genderqueer person—because JKR made another truly confounding post late last year implying that trans concepts are somehow corrupting poor, innocent, impressionable autistic children. (And she’s said other things that imply that autistic kids are just confused about their gender identities because they’re…. autistic?) Anyway, as an autistic adult who has identified as trans and/or non-binary for over 13 years now and who spent significant portions of childhood just staring at groups of boys and girls and trying to figure out the why and the how, I’ve written said apathetic confusion into childhood Newt, because I can. [And I’ve been recently accused multiple times of not being a “trans ally” and being a "dangerous" person because I’ve bought two (2) tickets and two (2) DVDs since 2018 and, apparently, writing FB fanfic also inherently makes me a TERF and antisemite who hates themself for being autistic. (Some people have never heard of nuance.) The fact that I’m technically under the trans umbrella and have spent significant portions of my life doing actual concrete policy work within institutions, communities, and my employment around trans and queerness is just — well. The accusations just hurt. So I did the very autistic thing of processing that via a special interest, even if it seems like a throwaway paragraph to everyone else.]

Anyway, I’ll probably make a separate author’s note for Chapter 3, as I’m still writing that one at this point. Also, I’ve had a lot going on recently so there may be a gap between posting chapters 2 and 3 because i’m trying not to fail out of my PhD program lmao.

Thanks and I hope you enjoy. 

If you read to the end of this, I’m sorry. And also — wow, proud of you. Treat yourself.

[twin-wolves-123]

long textpost incoming lol, for whoever cares

i think the thing i was least prepared for about being queer was just how fucking lonely it feels

tbh maybe lonely isn't the right word. helpless? hopeless?

When i first realized it i was in high school, and i didn't really make a big deal out of it at the time since it didn't affect my life a lot in particular-- i had a lot of other personal crap going on and the person who made me realize it ended up graduating anyway. i kind of just viewed it as a fact about me more than anything else, the same way my favorite color is a fact about me. Which is a privilege of course, i didn't really come out to anyone aside from close friends who were also out to me, but i did grow up in a pretty accepting area and was lucky enough to not particularly have internalized a shit ton of homophobia by then. but now that it's actually having a tangible impact on my life that view has definitely shifted to a more negative one.

for context, i think i've fallen a little in love with one of my close friends/roommate over the past couple of months. we've been pretty good friends for a bit over a year now, though only started rooming together at the start of this semester. he's a really great listener- sometimes he will just walk up and ask what i'm watching/doing on my laptop and let me ramble at him for however long about whatever niche interest is currently occupying my attention, he makes time to spend w/ me even if it's very spontaneous, i'm a little obsessed with his laugh/smile, and god he's so fucking smart i think it's insane. and sometimes when he's letting me infodump on him or we're just sitting together doing whatever i just get the urge to hug him or ask to cuddle and it's kind of ridiculous. I recently just got back from a fall break trip that he ended up backing out of and there was a day I was exploring the city by myself just kind of wishing he had been there with me.

issue is, aside from the obvious one, is that he is straight as hell

I'm out to him and he's very chill with it (not that I'd even be friends with him if I knew he wouldn't be), but god, what I don't really understand is how people deal with this. It's hard enough finding someone who likes you back even when your sexualities/genders DO align. i mean, it's not like things have gone perfectly with every girl i've been into up until now. And generally speaking, people are more likely to be straight than not, because... we are a minority lol. The argument often made by, say, homophobic parents of bi children is, just date women (or men, depending on who you are)! but you can't really help who you want, right? being bi in general isn't even a 50/50 split to begin with the same way all sexuality can be fluid, and it's very possible and even probable that i do lean more this way than the other (frankly it's not like i've dated enough to know). And i'm of course aware that things like dating apps and queer communities do exist, but it's not that easy to get over someone just like that, especially since i find it really difficult being into someone if I'm not already friends w them/know i get along w them well as a person first as opposed to seeking out this kind of connection on an app of some kind

so it's times like these where, as much as i've gotten out of the friendships i've made through queer communities (like on campus for example), being Not Straight just really sucks, not even necessarily because of homophobia (either from others/internalized) but simply because it's that much more miserable knowing that someone, even though they make you really happy, would never be able to view you that way, and sometimes i feel like it'd just be easier if i were straight the same way i wish i were taller, or my teeth were whiter, or other similar inconveniences that i can't change. i'll see other couples posting from trips they did together, or for national boyfriend day, or whatever, and it's just that feeling of one day, he'll be doing the same thing with someone he loves and i won't have any part to play in that, because i'll just be watching distantly online wishing it could've been me instead.

and of course it doesn't really help that i really struggle with making friends and am not socially perceptive at all and am often mentally hung up on small social interactions, him being no exception (quite the opposite actually, in general he shows slightly less emotion in conversation than the average person), so a lot of the time i'm stuck wondering whether he really even likes me as a friend at all or is just putting up with me for the sake of politeness.

Anyways. obviously this will pass (i think? regardless of the fact that it usually takes forever for me) but it still just fucking sucks and makes me wish i didn't have to deal with it at all

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky

Order

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: May 3, 2022

Synopsis:

Dear (never-been-quite-over-you) Crush, It's been a few years since we were together, but I can't stop thinking about the time we almost... Wren Roland has never been kissed, but he wants that movie-perfect ending more than anything. Feeling nostalgic on the eve of his birthday, he sends emails to all the boys he (ahem) loved before he came out. Morning brings the inevitable Oh God What Did I Do?, but he brushes that panic aside. Why stress about it? None of his could-have-beens are actually going to read the emails, much less respond. Right? Enter Derick Haverford, Wren's #1 pre-coming-out-crush and his drive-in theater's new social media intern. Everyone claims he's coasting on cinematic good looks and his father's connections, but Wren has always known there's much more to Derick than meets the eye. Too bad he doesn't feel the same way about the infamous almost-kiss that once rocked Wren's world. Whatever. Wren's no longer a closeted teenager; he can survive this. But as their hazy summer becomes consumed with a special project that may just save the struggling drive-in for good, Wren and Derick are drawn ever-closer...and maybe, finally, Wren's dream of a perfect-kiss-before-the-credits is within reach. A feel-good summer LGBTQIA+ New Adult RomCom, perfect for fans of Red White & Royal Blue, Boyfriend Material, and What If It's Us.

My Rating: ★★★★★

*My Review below the cut.

My Review:

This was suuuuuuper cute. Wren does come across as very young at first, but as the story settled into its groove I felt like his reactions and thought processes were actually very accurate for a 22-year old. He starts the novel fairly immature and at loose ends, but through the course of the story he gains confidence in himself. This is helped along by his managerial position at Wiley's Drive-in (where he has to find the line between working with his friends and being responsible for his friends' mistakes), his blossoming friendship with reclusive former film star and director Alice Walker, and his rekindled friendship and burgeoning relationship with his high-school crush Derick.

What begins as a terrible drunk decision - sending emails to all his former crushes and almost-kisses - ends up with a real chance at happiness.

Wren's friends are adorably quirky - sometimes a little too much so - and sweet. Reading the scenes of them together took me back to my college friendships. Derick is a bit of a mystery for pretty much the entire book and I think it could have benefited from some Derick POV chapters. The mystery does add drama and move the plot along in places, however, so I can understand why the author chose to do it this way. I also really appreciated how many of the characters were LGBT+ and how matter-of-fact it all was. There was a little bit of drama between Derick and his family but it wasn't too much and didn't detract from the sense of queer joy that develops throughout the book.

I listened to the audiobook version of this and really like the way the narrator chose to read it. His voices for all the characters were easy to tell apart and fit the characters very well.

I was fully invested in the story from beginning to end, and came away with a lot of nostalgia and also a real appreciation for how the author handled the story.

Also! It was SO nice to see demisexual rep in this story! Ace rep of any kind is hard to come by in fiction, and demisexual rep even more so. It was also explained really well without taking the reader out of the story and really fit Wren's character and experiences. As someone who is demi, I really appreciated the rep. It made me feel that much more connected to the story and more sympathetic to Wren. Especially when he decides that "queer" is how he's going to identify, with the knowledge that he's also gay and demisexual. It was very relatable. Society doesn't know how to handle asexuality for some strange reason, and it can feel very alienating.

The best parts of the story, hands down, were the scenes with Alice Kelly, reclusive film star and brilliant director - and cantankerous old lady. She really came to life in my imagination and quickly became my favorite character. The way Wren approached his friendship with her, slowly drawing her out while making sure she is always comfortable with what is happening, was wonderful to see.

I loved her story that was slowly revealed even more than Wren's and Derick's tbh. I would definitely read a book about her life. I'm glad she became such an important character and her story interwoven so thoroughly with Wren's and Wiley's Drive-in.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for providing an e-arc for review.

[slow-drowned-angels]

Still pissed at my therapist who said “but you have friends!” when I mentioned I suspected ASD. When she followed up with “yeah, people with autism usually don’t have and/or want friends” (paraphrased), I replied, incredulously, “I don’t think that’s true!” Then she went on about how autistic people she worked with tended to be more interested in special interests than people and therefore I couldn’t be autistic. I honestly wasn’t sure how to respond at that point, but over the last month I keep coming back to this conversation and being super confused.

Since then, she’s been a bit better though (including asking around regarding the cost and benefits for getting an official diagnosis, plus possible alternatives).

More discussion below. TL;DR: That’s a wild thing to generalize, even though it’s true for some autistics. Especially because she barely knows me (we’ve only had a few sessions) and didn’t ask any follow-up.

Sounds sus. Since…. I am on the autism social media site TM (and see all the posts from autistic people who have friends, who tried really hard to have friends, etc) and also I have an irl friend who is diagnosed ASD and has WAY more social interest than I do. And like… why would masking exist as a concept if autistic people didn’t care about fitting in with (and gaining social acceptance of) allistic people? Like yeah autistic people have social difficulties and that often manifests in having difficulties making and keeping friends, but wow. I imagine we’re sometimes good enough at masking to succeed in friendships?? And that there exist enough people who are either nice or neurodiverse themselves that we can be friends with without having to mask?? It kinda goes back to the whole problem with defining autism solely by traumatized autistic people.

I’ve been very lucky to have people around me who have actively tried to be friends with me. (I understand that this is a privilege I’m afforded in part because I’m “allistic passing” enough. I understand that because I saw the effects of being a very visibly autistic kid at my schools. It was Bad.) The kids who befriended me were often kids who are kinda Weird themselves — 3rd grade kids who wrote pages and pages of original fiction in their free time (and in cursive), middle schoolers who will tell me endlessly about their latest obsessions, kids who pretended to be cats, kids who constantly read novels, etc. I honestly just kind of fell into friendships and made a pretty good sidekick (because I was generally down for whatever they were interested in and otherwise kept to myself). It worked out that the other person was usually a strong personality — except for when I was very young, I’ve been unable to talk at length about my own interests (either because I tend to tell stories out of order and get flustered easily or because I get bad anxiety that the other person isn’t interested in it). I’m slowly getting better at it, but Is Rough unless someone is asking me a series of questions to lead the conversation or I get to write it out.

I can make friends in classes because I know how to talk About School (and can contribute if other topics I’m interested in are brought up by the other person, like politics or media or queer shit, etc) and so I made friends with nerds who were very academically-focused and made friends with classmates. Are they considered friends if the friendship is solely centered around school? Idk! They’re people I talk to and generally like! So friend!

I also know that I weirded a lot of people out, especially in middle school and high school. Either because I was perceived as unfriendly or too intense. Tbh, fair. I was often unfriendly and intense. Part of it was deliberate because it meant people wouldn’t fuck with me. Honestly I learned a lot of the more complex social stuff from one of my current best friends and a lot of my capability of dealing with complex emotional situations is solely through directly quoting them.

Also this lady barely knows me, I don’t know why she’s making blanket assumptions just because I’m good enough at masking to know how to get a good grade in therapy (and tend to automatically mask with new people). If she asked me more questions about it, I would have been able to explain myself, but she began by dismissing it entirely (which I wasn’t at all expecting and didn’t really know how to… argue my case without making it seem like I was claiming that I knew more about autism than she does [even though I privately posit that I do; she didn’t know about rejection sensitivity dysphoria until I mentioned it as something I related to smh, to be fair this isn’t her specialty… but also she’s working/worked with autistic people??]). (Also, note how I write when it’s stream-of-consciousness and I get to edit and write stuff out of order and add stuff later on, imagine if I were trying to talk about this in real time,, dear god.)

Amusingly I think my temporary group therapy class therapist probably believes me more when I mentioned asd because she’s seen me interact with other people and also I’m very obviously constantly stimming.

(Thanks for reading my [social] life story.)