#also please give feed back
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Fair Play (2023) - Just some thoughts.
DISCLAIMER - I want to give a disclaimer as this film does deal with SA and I will be discussing it, so please feel free to skip this one if this topic isn't for you, but I will give a warning if you would still like to read.
So, a couple of days ago I watched this film which was on my âto watchâ list for AGES, Fair Play which was directed and written by Chloe Domont (we LOVE a female writer/director), and it was so captivating the whole way through. The way this film got me invested in a hedge fund is mind-blowing because it became so much less about what the job was and more about the character dynamics â this couldâve truly been in any setting, and I wouldâve watched this. I will be discussing spoilers so if you havenât already, PLEASE go and watch the film, if you love films that discuss a complex dynamic between men and women, I think youâll enjoy this one.
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I truly appreciated how the film depicted women in power, particularly within a relationship, the movie starts with a very happy couple that have become recently engaged (Emily and Luke), and they work for the same hedge fund company where they keep their relationship a secret. Something weâre shown very early on is men and their reaction toward their failures â when their manager gets fired at the beginning, we see the man destroy his office in a fit of rage, yelling that the company needs him and that it is their fault and not his. We see this foreshadowed in Luke further into the film, but weâll discuss that later.
After their ex-managerâs explosion, there are rumours around the office that Luke got the promotion in which we see Emilyâs face as she hears this, and through the audience we see how she reacts positively to this information, you know as any NORMAL human would (Iâm looking at you LukeâŠ). Emily tells Luke without a hint of malice or jealousy; she is simply happy for her significant other in this moment.
However, when Emily gets called in to drink with a colleague, sheâs surprised to find her boss gives her the promotion instead of Luke. We smash cut to Emily in the car and she tells Luke that she got the promotion instead, whom facilitates a VERY different reaction to the news and is stooped but eventually congratulates her. Not without asking if their boss had touched her, of course, because obviously women just canât get a promotion because sheâs good.
Itâs from then we see this couple spiral out of love and become vastly different people than they started. Emily starts to earn a lot more than Luke does, she offers to take him out to dinner, she ends up coming home late, even goes to a strip club which fully blurs the line of gender dynamics and the idea of âmasculinityâ. Her success at work is shown through Lukeâs myopic view of what a man should be like, and even challenges our view of what a successful woman looks like â when success is relegated by a male perspective, can it hinder our view of a successful woman?
When another PM is fired, we see Luke beg for the job only for the position to be filled within an instant by someone else (I thought this was hilarious by the way) and Emily tells him that instead of promoting him, their boss was considering firing him. Which speaks a lot to the fact that he was doing so terribly that his boss was going to fire him, and yet he was just so sure that he deserved that promotion (typical am I right?). Itâs then where Luke goes missing, only to return to do the one thing he can think of to make Emily feel as he does â embarrassed. So, he reveals their relationship in the hopes that it gets her fired (which it does not) and publicly shames her in front of important clients.
Okay so Iâm going to talk about the scene in which Emily is R-worded by Luke so please skip this paragraph if need be. This scene arrives when Luke has well and truly fired from their firm, and unbeknownst to Emilyâs parents they put on an engagement party not aware of the tensions between the two. In this scene, we feel Emilyâs rage and her nervousness to see Luke, he has completely transformed over the film, mind you in a very realistic manner. When Emily confronts Luke, we see his true feelings towards their situation, when he argues that she offered sexual favours to their boss, and in response she smashes a bottle over his head (rightly so). Itâs then that she runs away to the bathroom where he follows, and they continue to argue before they start to engage in⊠acts â which parallels when we first meet them in the scene at his brotherâs wedding party (in that scene they face each other, however in this scene Luke controls Emily). However, Luke starts to get rough with Emily, and she tells him to stop but he doesnât and slams her down into the sink, leaving a massive bruise on her face.
Now, Iâve never liked it when films contain an R-word scene, particularly as it feels incredibly obtrusive, and while it gives the desired reaction (discomfort), it is also viewed through a male gaze most of the time where we focus on the brutality the MAN is giving rather than how the WOMAN feels in this matter. And in this scene, itâs a shame that it doesnât seem like the latter; I just think Iâm of the majority of people who feel that these types of scenes arenât needed and it couldâve been portrayed a lot better â I also find it interesting that people reviewing the film tend to leave out this scene, instead calling it a âsexyâ or âeroticâ thriller, which just feels very pedantic in a way.
The next scene shows Emily covering her bruise and telling her boss at the hedge fund that Luke was a crazy stalker, whom she did date but became out of control. We see then the boss doesnât care, because Emily is worth keeping there. When she returns to her apartment, Luke is there who appears nonchalant about what happened and tells Emily that heâs staying at his brotherâs. Emily, enraged by this, demands he apologises for assaulting her and attacking him until he cries and begs for forgiveness for him (she is also in this scene towering over him and he is sprawled on the floor and I guess you could argue mimics her assault in some way). As his blood is spilled on the floor, the film ends with her telling him to clean it up.
I remember watching this film and thinking that it was really odd that it showed Emily getting her period a few times, particularly at the beginning, but after seeing the whole thing, it made more sense. The idea of a period is something quite powerful, when we think of blood spilling, I think we most associate that with violence and domination, which also coincides with a period cycle. The idea that people who deal with periods, spill blood monthly but it is not deemed as powerful. So when at the climactic end of the film when Emily slashes Luke and spills his blood (and makes him clean it up, what a queen); Domont had created this connection of a woman being innately powerful.
So overall, this film was really something, I ended up enjoying a lot more than I thought I would, and while it does have some faults, it brings a very interesting topic through a very sleek and stylish manner. I would love to see what Domont does next.
#writing#writers on tumblr#writeblr#movie#movies#film#fair play#chloe domont#phoebe dynevor#alden ehrenreich#bridgerton#solo a star wars story#eddie marsan#rich sommer#i feel like i rambled a lot on this one lmao#also please give feed back#love yall
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not really an ask but MY SIBLING DREW YOUR FAIRY FANART!!!!!!!!!
we both love her
AAAA ITâS FAIRY!!!!!
#mdzs#equineswap au#fanart#fairy#oh my GOD your sibling absolutely nailed the design and took it to a whole new level of princess-cute-core#Please give them a big thank you from me!#I'm especially in love with the shoes. Love the idea of the curved shoes for the Jin Ling and Fairy design. Cannot draw them (yet)#Fairy is the type of girl who walks into starbucks and looks like shes gonna get the pink drink or a very complex order#but she's just there for a puppuccino for her little dog that she delicately carries around everywhere#She loves that little spoiled dog so much <3 Jin Ling is the most pampered creature in this entire AU#They don't have puppuccinos in AU canon but she is definitely only feeding him premium meats.#Oh if horses talk do dogs also talk? I cannot recall if dogs also talk in the MLP Canon...#Ok back from the wiki with some horrific knowledge about the animal sentience situation in Equestria#Dog Lore wise; There is *one* dog in the whole series and its applejack's boarder collie Winona. Spike in EQ girls doesnt count.#Jin Ling cannot talk but he thinks his thoughts very loudly
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two picrews and a uquiz
tagged by @inafieldofdaisies, @cassietrn, and @voidika to do one or more of these picrews
Picrew 1 // Picrew 2
and/or to do this uquiz! which hozier song is your oc?
took this one twice because there were a few qs where syb could go either way on
TAKE ME TO CHURCH. ah, religious trauma. i feel you. but i think you're really brave to try to find something real, even if it doesn't look like what your family thinks it should. also, you have the sexiest song of them all, so uh. good for you ;)
IT WILL COME BACK. why is it so hard to stay away? you might have a tendency to get addicted. and it makes sense. if you've always been starving, then any scraps look like a feast. but you really do deserve better than this. i hope you treat yourself with kindness.
tagging: @jillvalentinesday, @purplehairsecretlair, @aceghosts, @adelaidedrubman, @madparadoxum, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @locustandwildhoney, @testyfestyenthusiast, @strangefable, @alexxmason, @deputyash, @josephslittledeputy, and anyone else wanting to do one or more of these! (to be added/removed from the list for tag games, like/reply to this post!)
#'i know who i am when i'm alone; i'm something else when i see you'#'jesus christ don't be kind to me. honey don't feed me. i will come back'#'through the cold i'll find my way back to you. oh please give me mercy no more. that's a kindness you can't afford'#'i'll be howling outside your door. don't you hear me howling?'#brb adding 'it will come back' to the jakesyb playlist#it works both ways#but ugh...yeah#take me to church is good too but i think 'it will come back' is more fitting :')#also that first picrew is so cute i'm gonna cry i do lowkey love how cute she looks
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instagram
Outfit on Point đđœ
NOOO he looks so soft đ« đ« đđand yes fucking finally glasses on đ
Holy shit YES
#18/12/2023#miles taking us back home with him to his mum is so dear to my heart#also Maxie=the beast elite nickname miles#also adore Pauline Kane for taking this pic for us#love how even at his momâs heâs got big cat print pillows#eastenders and ice cream gotta hand it to miles he knows how to relax#Instagram#I was kinda hoping for some baby miles pics on the mantlepiece#not Miles overexcited playing all the songs he recommended for us to his mom as well most likely#please let him give us a silly cooking Christmas dinner video with him and Maxie in a silly sweater and not being able to resist feeding ma#jadedheartsclub comeback#Also was he not happy with his cooking skills cause he clearly taking a food pic and he usually always proudly shares them to get applause#we know Miles loves Christmas but instead of cheerful Xmas tunes heâs listening to hiphop/rap from the early 2000s to get in the mood
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Opinions on Dream? :^
SO many feelings about him omgg rant under cut please forgive me
okay so i don't really talk or draw him much cause honestly,,,most of the times i just think he's a bit....boring? or more accurately plain? not in a mean way either but just in a 'fades into the background' type of way like don't get me wrong!! he's a really nice friend to his peers, his feelings about his powers and aura making his relationships harder to navigate and trust along with his whole conflict with nightmare and morality about what's good and bad IS very cool!! and i love it whenever they write him to be complex and not on this black and white mentality or when he's just straight up following along his friends with no free will or with a dubious purpose without ever addressing his issues or feelings! it's just unsatisfying to me :')
or when they're making him the 'naive' and oblivious, (sometimes childish?) character being marked as the obstacle and villain along with the other star sanses from the fic's pov, always talking about doing good things while fighting his brother and not hearing him out about the balance, (and for weak reasons most of the time. like it's been so long and you STILL haven't sat down with him when he's, generally, basically begged you to just have a talk? guys please :'( ) or when they go for the victim sad dream always missing the old nightmare, where corrupted nightmare is the incarnation of evil, with no sympathy or emotion except anger and sadistic glee, killing and hurting everyone and dream's just trying to protect the multiverse and dream's always been in the right. such extremes!!!
LIKE!! i hope i'm not the only one that thinks a 500+ year old should have had enough time to idk. learn things? about people and manipulation and deceit? after knowing what the villagers did to night? about the bad things in the world and how there's a lot of grey areas in life and that he maybe reflected on his past enough to process and ask himself if there should to be a convo to settle his differences with nightmare (and you can make nightmare the stubborn one too! or have them BOTH be petty and imperfect and have some things wrong and some right at the same time like why do i always see the good guy vs bad guy cliché with these two when they're the perfect example of why positivity doesn't have meaning without the negativity!! as long as there's a satisfying evolution or growth that doesn't leave me empty i'm good yknow?)
plus i believe dream really isn't as dumb as people view him. i do get some of you saying he probably can't read or write since that's actually a pretty interesting idea to explore! but in general please let him have emotions other than pure sunshiny happiness or endless sadness like he's gotta have more depth than that! let him make mistakes, have flaws that don't just make him the bad guy that's always in the wrong by default, and be angry or suspicious or jealous or bitter or battling his mental health problems/depression or malicious or smart or witty or mischievous and silly or sarcastic or ANYTHING dude i just want him to be put into different scenarios where he can be serious or lighthearted like it doesn't even have to be long or perfect but make him feel real.
it could definitely be that i don't read or see much art about dream or really look for it hard enough but also i just. i feel bad for even saying this fr and i wanna be honest about why i don't enjoy most stories about him cause he always gets the worst treatment along with ink!!! especially ink omg the poor guy has it the worst i think like wow do they mess him up :'(
always one dimensional in non shippy fics, or too plain or easily replaceable by other, more entertaining people in the significant other's life in most of his ships like man. i have read fics out there that made me genuinely FEEL and root for him and love his character so much it restored all hope for me!!! but i can only name one on top of my head and the others? it's been so long i don't even remember their names i just legit feel terrible cause i love him still and i can't find many headcanons that fit my interpretation of him yknow?
not to say people who write him very happy, mislead or sad are ruining him like that's silly- if i see something i don't like i just. move on bro i wouldn't force people to feel or think the same way i do about him cause anyone can have whatever headcanons they want!!! just talking about what i personally look for in him and why i can't exactly find it since most of the stuff out there just isn't my cup of tea :')
hopefully i didn't set anyone off with this rambling opinionated essay i just pulled hhh xD i know i know he's a popular character and i know a lot of people like dream so *sobs* please please recommend me artists and fics about him that you think is good it's been so looong since i've read or seen anything new that makes me attached to this little guy aughg<33333
#ask#rambling#delete later?#probably xD i just wanna love him SO much but sometimes he's just *sigh*...forgettable#i tried to explain myself but also it's like 4 am and i skimmed through the proofreading so don't take this too seriously HHH#like really even when i do read good fics about him he's not on the forefront of my mind and it's painful to me :'(#i used to see him as my third fav but now? ever since i've read and seen characters who get heavier more in depth plots?#i can't say it with as much confidence :') and dream lovers out there i am not bashing your choice or even your headcanons#to each their own but i really wanna hear someone be passionate about him in my feed or askbox like TELL me about him#i've seen ink rants out there that are FIRE like so true!!! but where's the dream defense team???#maybe it's just me tho :') btw i still like cream but not the same way as before if i'm being real#it feels the same...all of it and it makes me wanna bite something ARGHGG#i know i know i ship some stuff that's basic too hhh but dream and cross are always written the same and dream is too innocent#and nightmare is too weird in some of these fics like if MY brother ever tried to literally attack my hypothetical partner????#i wouldn't give him the :'((( sad face and weakly tell him to 'please stop...you're hurting him'' like NO girl they're TWINS#they're the same age i would tell him to BACK off and not insert himself in my love life after years of ignoring and fighting LIKE#especially since most of the time cross is actually good to dream and all- so he doesn't have a good reason to disrupt his bro's dates#UGH i just have so many opinions but basically i would love him a lot lot more than i do now if they also let him be more flexible#and shake things up like with shattered and stuff! gimme alternate versions of him even if it's too ooc like we do for all the other sanses#jaa i am SO sorry you had to read all that dude thank you so much for passing by :'D
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#acezawa instagram feed
I joked about us posting exclusively about cats, but then I thought about it a little too hard.
Despite Hizashi's best efforts, there isn't a single photo of us together on the internet.
Aizawa doesn't have social media (he has a secret account that he looks at sometimes, but doesn't post).
Sometimes I throw in a coffee photo for the fun of it.
I have permission from our adopted kiddos (Hitoshi, Neito, Shouto, Himiko, & Eri) to post about them, but I am relatively cautious about what I post about our actual personal lives.
@/overwatch posted (top left): Hard to believe this is our first black cat considering our wardrobe. Name suggestions? 𫶠-> @/presentationmichael replied: Blackjack -> -> @/presentationmichael replied: Smokeshow -> -> -> @/presentationmichael replied: Eraserhead -> -> -> -> @/presentationmichael replied: Midnight -> @/ms.midnight replied: as adorable as the cat is, i'd prefer to not have it named after me -> @/overwatchno1fan replied: i'm partial to Shadow -> @/officialwinghero replied: Raven đ€ -> -> @/overwatch replied: @/officialwinghero You have a cat named Raven đ -> -> -> @/officialwinghero replied: exactly! they can be twins! -> @/overwatch replied: I'll just poll the students tomorrow đ€Šââïž
#acezawa#technically this is also a part of#hacezawa#hawks was very upset to find out that aizawa took#'overwatchno1fan' before he could#class 1a voted on my new hero name when i moved back to japan and had to distance myself from#my old hero id in the us#midnight would actually be very pleased to have the cat named after her#she just doesn't want to give hizashi the satisfaction#instagram feed meme#divider from cafekitsune
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.
#This shouldn't be a surprise but seriously no one actually cares about my survival yes I've asked for help why would I get help#I'm functionally nocturnal and I keep staying up for like 48 hours and then sleeping for a day and I never know where I am#Or what day it is or if it's morning or night#Normal humans eat three meals a day and snacks right I think I maybe eat a snack every other day#I just don't feel hunger and my body hurts and cooking is so much effort I don't have#Weed used to help me be able to eat easily but now everything is just so hard and no food in house n cant go to store bc of ptsd too scary#I keep telling people when they ask that I am doing badly and need help but they as always just tell me to go to the store and buy food#Because it should be easy for a normal person!!! That would be such helpful and kind advice if I were normal#But I am not I am severely sick and traumatized and driving hurts so bad and stores give me panic attacks#Seriously if literally nobody cares about my struggling why not just be euthanized at this point?#This problem is so inconvenient to everyone and I have done all I can to convince people that I'm worth the inconvenience but :(#If I were worth talking to or visiting or helping people would have done that and I would be fine but I am not and that's okay#I genuinely don't mind being a husk at all#I'm just weirdly sad about it right now maybe because I think I feel hungry but genuinely I can't tell thanks autism#I also haven't been able to do my t shot in like three or four weeks I keep trying but I literally can't get the needle in :((#I imagine less testosterone in my system also makes me tired and lose my appetite#I'm so fucked up and nobody cares that I start my day at 8pm and am active and reply to emails and shit at 4am#Why would anyone notice that first of all but still. I would notice.#When even strangers are struggling I notice and I will do anything for anyone but it's selfish upon selfish to expect it back I understand#I keep looking for arfid and ed affirmations to help me but I can't find anything good#Genuinely . what the fuck#Just fucking need to be someone's dog feed me walk me put me in a cage teach me how to be better and treat me like I don't know shit#Because I don't I'm so stupid I can't even feed myself I'm dying please help me
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Look I love tits as much as the next guy but I personally cannot get into any super sized megabadonkers stuff bc at a certain point all I can think is "oh god her poor back"
#hucow ppl will be like 'feeding her drugs that make her udders grow up to 60 pounds each'#and I'm like PLEASE tell me you are giving her back massages#also can you imagine the growing pains???#anyway hucow/megatitty people i love and support you 100%. i simply will not be joining you#edward speaks#nsft
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the removing of profile pics doesnt even make sense if ur trying to be twitter bc twitter still has pfps?
#i know ppl are making fixes for this#i dont have the update#but also please give them feed back tell them how bad this is#not only do icons help tell you whos who but#god forbid someone has a very similar url to someone else
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đïžâđČđ°đđŽ đ¶đ¶đ·........... THE STRONGEST ......filed under the that's not my jjk man series
visitor log: its midday and your clingy-ass boyfriendâgojo satoruâshould be hard at work right getting rid of these doppels not knocking at your doorâgotta be a fake... right?! classifications: bimbo!reader (canonverse of otaku!gojo's bunny!reader), yandere-esque Gojo, nipple play, recorded sex, lots of sex toys, dirty talk, panty theft, extreme overstim + slight omorashi. incidents: 4.4k .......shout outs to @yung-notorious for beta-ing some of this!
*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock*
Rapid, insistent knocks interrupt your laughter as you chat with friends, carefully brushing a fresh coat of polish onto your toes. You werenât expecting anyone, but the familiar, overly enthusiastic rhythmâknocking out the tune of Rick Astleyâs "Never Gonna Give You Up"âleaves no doubt who it is.
Satoru.
You sigh.
Although you havenât seen Gojo much lately and are usually happy to see him, his timing this time irritates you for a couple reasonsâfirst, of course heâd interrupt right in the middle of your much-needed girl time! You were desperate to hang with your friends again, especially after being stuck in lockdown for the last 2 weeks.
There was some juicy tea getting spilled on the call too!Â
More importantly, you weren't in a hurry to get up from the sofaâespecially with your freshly painted white toes youâd propped up on the coffee table to dry. The last thing you wanted was to ruin them by getting dust on them while answering the door when Gojo wasnât even supposed to be here right now.
âBBL, yâall.â
Reluctantly ending the call, you switched over to your Ring camera app.Â
Sure enough, the security feed loads to reveal Gojo, grinning up at the camera with his glasses perched on the brim of his nose and a large pink shopping bag in hand.
Huh? Thereâs no way heâs off-work already!Â
Taking note of the time it reads 1:30 p.m. confirming that Jujutsu societyâs strongest sorcerer is skipping out on work, againâpshh typical.Â
âCâmon babe, let me in!â
Urgh, what was he even doing here?!Â
Shouldnât he be the one leading the charge to kill all the doppelgĂ€ngers? The faster he exorcized them, the sooner youâd finally be able to go outside again.
This doppelgĂ€nger outbreak felt like covid quarantine all over and it sucked!Â
Satoru needed to get his ass back to work so you wouldnât waste the best years of your life cooped up inside!
âGo away, doppelgĂ€nger!â
You use the intercom feature to speak to Gojo, still not budging from the sofa.
Gojo pouts.
âBut it's me, baby! Open the door Bunny bae, please I missed you princessâitâs been too long!â
Satoruâs annoyingly pretty baby blues look even bigger as he pleads into the camera, his lip quivering, making you roll your eyes.
Itâs barely been 48 hrs since youâve last seen him and he still blows up your texts all day!Â
But the worldâs strongest sorcerer was also the worldâs clingiestâso you suppose his doppelgĂ€nger would be too. Although, you were pretty sure this was the real deal, that still didnât mean you wouldnât give him shit for skipping out on work.
âHuh, thatâs funny because there's no way you could be my boyfriend, Gojo Satoru, the strongestâand the one who is supposed to be making sure Iâm not stuck in the house for another 2 years. Itâs been freaking 2 weeks already Toru, Iâm going batshit in here!â
Pushing his glasses back in place Gojo hides his scoff, standing up straight.Â
Shit.
He hopes you arenât onto him.Â
Sure, he could have contained this whole thing in a few days tops.
Despite the doppelgĂ€nger ability to mimic appearances and cursed energy patterns, Gojoâs Six Eyes could see right through it easily. His power allowed him to perceive the core of a soul with perfect clarity, instantly distinguishing the souls of a human and a curse.
But instead of resolving the problem quickly, Gojo made up all kinds of excuses to you (and especially to the higher-ups) about why it was taking longer than expected.Â
The truth was, simple thoughâfor once, just this once, he decided he had earned the right to be selfish.
Not having met you until after the covid quarantine, Gojo had never experienced that kind of isolation with youâand was immensely jealous that your last boyfriend had. Now that he had a taste of it, there was nothing he wanted more than to keep his lil bun-bun safely caged up, waiting for his return everyday (and he did try to make it back everyday).
Okay, so he is in fact being really selfish.
Luckily for everyone else though, most of these doppelgĂ€nger curses are relatively harmless other than causing absolute chaos with their mere existence aloneâunfortunately they could also be seen by people even lacking cursed energy.
Gojo took care of the stronger ones, the ones with more nefarious intentions, while letting the little ones continue to run looseâall so he could have you to himself.Â
Unbeknownst to you, Gojo is intentionally sentencing you to what seems like a never ending cycle of boredom so that when he finally gets home you cling to him like a grain of sweet sticky rice. So eager for any external stimuli or interaction youâd be up for all manner of his perversions youâd normally shoot him down for.
That didnât mean you werenât still a brat though, making him work for itâsomething that Gojo also noted was his fault though for spoiling you rotten, not being able to deny you anything. So you pretend to be annoyed when he showed up, but Gojo knew the truthâthose thick thighs of yours would soon have your slick running down. Your cute, slutty lil pussy dripping would start dripping the moment youâd hear his voice.
Yeah, yeah, heâd get rid of those things eventuallyâbut Gojo was going to enjoy this quarantine with you for a bit longer.Â
âEven the strongest need a break baby! I need my sweet lilâ energizer Bunny to recharge my batteries, eh?â
You crinkle up your nose seeing him wiggle his eyebrows on camera.Â
He's such a dorky cornball.
âAnd this breakâŠitâs approved by Yaga, hm?â Gojo whines at your questioning, not wanting you to deny him any longer nor throw technicalities in his face he didnât wanna have to answer.
âCome on, Bunny! I even brought you real nice gifts to show you how much I missed you!â
The hot pink shopping bag sways in front of the camera, Gojo dangling it as if it were supposed to be a tempting treat.Â
But heâd have to do better than some generic pink shopping bag to impress you!
Youâve gone back to your toenails, starting to apply the top coat while you let him squirm out there for a while longer. You knew he could break the barrier in the blink of an eye but you also knew that he was a big enough baby to want you to let him in on your own.Â
Well tough luck brah.
âThat sure doesnât look like a Chanel shopping bag, Toru!â
âUm, thatâs cause itâs notâBunny you told me you donât even like me picking you out clothes anymore!â
You clicked your tongue and rolled your eyesâof course you said that as whenever Gojo picked something out for you, it ended up being the most scandalous or over-the-top piece in the store. How he would even managed that at a classy brand like Chanel, you had no idea. (Though, little do you know, in reality, he always acted they were ready-to-wear while they were custom-madeâjust for you.)
âI got us some toys, baby bun! Donât you wanna play with me?â
You donât need to ask him âwhat kind of toysâ from the goofy ass expression that is on his face.Â
âThatâs not making me want to let you in at all, Doru!â Â
âHah? WhaâDoru!?â
âYeah, short for Dopple-Toru.â
You try to keep a straight face but canât help giggling as you sneak a peek at your phone, still putting on as if you're completely ignoring him. His expression on the camera is priceless though and you wish you could snap a screenshot of his mouth wide open, glasses nearly sliding off, looking utterly incredulous.
âHey! Come on, Bunny bae, that's not funny! I know you know itâs meâand I also know your pretty pussy misses me!âÂ
Oh knew, it was your perv ass boyfriend and yeah you did miss himâbut you missed your freedom more! And for that reason you are gonna make him think twice before trying to skip out on work again. Not to mention, for having the nerve to show up once you finally found something interesting to stave away your boredom other than him!
âHmm, I donât knowâprove it then, DoruâŠâ
While Gojo loves goading you into playing games and usually lets you win them too, after nearly 48 âgrueling hoursâ away from you, all he wants now is to simply relax in your company. Ya know, nothing too crazy, just the typical cuddles with him calmly resting his face on your titties while his cock nestles deep up against your cervixâjust something casual.
Gojo calling your bluff, ups the ante.
âHeh, kayâŠâ
Youâre actually not paying attention this time, admiring your work on your toes and contemplating on the color you should paint your fingernails as Gojo goes silent for a moment.Â
Yet once you hear a loud zip, the rustling of fabric, and a belt clank to the ground your eyes practically bulge out of your head as you grab your phone, bringing it comically close to your face while blinking multiple times just to be sure.Â
Satoru quite literally has dick and balls out, dangling in the breeze, in front of the entire goddamn neighborhood!
And despite your initial horror and best efforts to remain upset, you pause, your inner slut causing a slight brain malfunctionâas even from the small ring camera you can see his deliciously thick cock bobbing fully erect while his mushroomy tip shamelessly drips viscous globs of pre onto your welcome mat.
Thankfully your short-circuiting of common sense only lasts a few seconds before it starts functioning again.
âTORU HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING SUGAR-FUELED MIND!? YOU KNOW THE HOA IS ONE MORE INCIDENT AWAY FROM KICKING ME OUT, RIGHT!?â
Sighing, you groan in dismay as youâve been on thin ice with your HOA for a while now because of Gojo.Â
Not only have you received the most noise complaints in the neighborhood by far, but he also made âalterationsâ to your home by installing unsanctioned rows of cypress trees. Claiming it was a safety precaution to block the view inside your home from your âsketchy neighbors.â He also ever so obnoxiously takes up 2 parking spots on the street so no one could even âpark too close to scratch his Benzâ and even sometimes double parked in front of your neighbors house when all the street parking was taken.
You would most definitely be kicked out if anyone in the neighborhood saw all of Gojoâs fairly large bits and pieces freely on display.
And yeah, Gojo did know that.Â
He also knew if you got kicked out and had to move youâd have no excuse then not to move-in with him.
Where else would you be able to stay on such short notice? He soon turn that temporary situation into a more permanent one too.
Finally leaping to your feet, you practically trip over yourselfâall thoughts of preserving your polish forgottenâas you sprint to the front door.
You canât get there fast enough, yet as soon as you do, you don't hesitate to lower the barrier and fling the door open.
âHey sweetnââ
Cutting him off, you grab Gojo by his collar and yank him inside before slamming the door shut behind you.
But you donât get a chance to scold him. The moment you turn to face him, your lips suddenly meet his, and his large frame envelops yours into a warm embrace.
Your first instinct is to push him away, but even when meeting your furious eyes he just grins knowinglyâtwirling his pointer finger in the air above him. You frown, confused, until it hits youâGojo has set up another barrier over your own.
No one could have seen him, but heâd let you believe that so youâd let him in faster.
Urgh, Toru is far too crafty for his own damned good.
It's your turn to pout now, having clearly lost this round badly.Â
But Gojo doesnât let the expression lingerâhis mouth is hot and hungry on yours again in an instant. Your soft lips are easily parted by his thumb as he slows to tease his way past your lips to glide his silken tongue into your mouth causing him to sighâyou taste sweeter than any candy to him.
The kiss soon turns more passionate as the strokes of his tongue flick longingly over yours, devouring you as he skillfully melts away your angerâin addition to all the bones in your legs. Reduced to a puddle of goo you completely forget you were just about to cuss him out as your legs now press together from the throbbing between your thighs. Your need becoming more agonizing as you grow dizzy from the lack of air.
When Gojo finally lets you breathe again, he chuckles at your dazed expression. Your lids are lowered and you press your body deeper into his own, clutching onto his collar as you nestle your face into his neck, savoring his scent washing over you.Â
âSo despite all that sass, I take it you actually missed me then?â
You nod eagerly against his skin, in spite of yourself. Even though he isnât supposed to be here right now, you canât hold back any longer how happy you are to see him.
âAnd my pretty Bunny girl is going to let me play with her now?âAll of her?â
You gasp as Gojo does not wait for an answer before slipping a hand into your shorts. Hissing at your heat, Gojo swipes his thumb over the outer folds of your cunt and his fingers quickly are becoming soaked before they even got the chance to get up inside you.
Placing a chaste kiss on your temple Gojo's agile fingers had merely confirmed what he already knew: Youâre utterly drenchedâhis needy, cute lilâ pussy was quite literally begging for him and who was he to deny her?
ᥣđ©áĄŁđ©áĄŁđ©
âFâFuck! P-pussy too good. Keep the phone up though, nice and straight Bunny! T-Thatâs it, youâre the best! SHIIIITâ nâyou got the cutest sluttiest lil cunny! C-Can you get a close up of how well my cock is digging out your pretty lilâ bunny hole?â
âMmmgh!â
Gojoâs filthy words and his even filthier fat cock are bringing you closer to your ecstasy filled ruin as they push you past your limits, engorged veins scraping your walls with every thrust. You're covered in sweat and your entire body buzzesâquite literally as there are vibrating clamps suctioned onto each of your nipples.Â
Mmmm, it all was driving you wild!
Not imagining yourself in this position when you woke up this morning at all.
Especially as initially, when Gojo said he bought toys, you thought he had meant fuzzy handcuffs, silken ropes or maybe even some more of that warm edible candle wax that tastes like strawberriesâbut all this!?Â
You could barely see out of your bleary, tear-filled eyes completely caking your cheeks in streaks of your mascara that while supposedly waterproof, definitely is not Gojo Satoru proof.Â
In addition to the mind-numbing bliss radiating off your swollen perky buds, your body was covered in some sort of edible oily slick. The warmth was initially similar to that of candle waxâyet morphed into anything but. This time the heat was coming from the flames your own body generated as the effects of the candied warming oil made every part of you saturated in the fluid buzz with need.Â
Of course, after soaking your body with it down the tips of your toes and paying extra attention to your nipples, Gojo had been thoughtful enough to pour the most of the remaining bottle over your throbbing lilâ clit.Â
Except now there isnât just a shallow throb between your legs as the fiery sensation of every individual nerve in your cunt was cries out for him to ruin you harder.Â
Your legs are wrapped around him impossibly tight as your heels dig into the small of his back and yet somehow, he still manages to snake a hand between your slippery bodies to pet his favorite girly spot on youâyour clit. Toying with the swollen nub in a painfully slow manner compared to the intensified thrashing of his hips against your own.Â
The motions only serve to push the heart-shaped platinum and pink sapphire adorned butt plug deeper into your ass with every loud vulgar smack of your wet bodies joiningâthe strange feeling of it jostling against the very walls his cock was drilling has you drooling as Gojo further tests the limits of passion he can push over.  Â
âCâmon Bunny, you're going to miss the best part, ya better capture it really well how much squirt I can pump out of this cute cunnyâor weâll simply just have to do another take. Not that Iâd mind spending all day in your pussyâŠâ
You're not in your right mind to scold him for trying to skip out on more work and you certainly don't have the full capacities to hold his phone up any betterâwhat with your hands were tied together over your head to the bed. Gojo utilizing the fuzzy cuffs afterall.
You canât even really see if you are getting the right angle as you desperately hold onto the device, keeping it straight and upright lest it slip and drop right on your head.Â
âAlways such a good girl for me huh, princess?â
Tuhâlike he was giving you a choice!
You're unable to clap back though as your tongue, so lax from all the pleasure, sinks back to the roof of your mouth. The slobber gathered pools past your lips, over your chin, down your neck to your tits and Gojo is eager to slurp the train up your body and back to your lips, kissing you.Â
It goes without saying, but Gojo in âdirectorâ mode is absolutely diabolical.Â
The reason being needs the perfect footage of him playing in your guts to make sure he had good enough material to fap to if you wanted him to spend more time away from you while he hunted down the doppel-curses.
âBe good for me a bit longer, âkay baby?â
Yet his gentle coos donât match his demeanor.Â
Glasses long discarded, Gojoâs own blue eyes looked crazed. Heâs unconcerned with the sweat matting his hair to the sides of his face or the wave of slick your pussy splashes onto his taut abs. Abs are shuddering from just how tight of a hold your pussy has on himâworking him overtime as his heavy pants soon twist into deranged lil whines.
âM-Me and my lilâ buddy missed our two girls so, so, s-sooo muchâAH-HAH-F-FAHHHCK! G-Gotta show ya just how much!âÂ
Shamelessly, Gojo had dubbed his cockâhis little buddyâthe joke that would have emasculated some men but Gojo made it intentionally with the irony that he was anything but little.
âT-They were made for each other babyâlilâ buddy and the wet pretty girl between these thighs, yeah?â
The ham that he is, Gojo always sounds extra insane whenever a camera is recording, howling with amusement when he watches the playbacks. Yet in this very moment, he was as serious as a heart attackâand you definitely weren't laughing as your weeping pussy gets pounded into deeper into ecstasy filled oblivion.Â
âShhhâStawwp, Sâtoruuuuu!â
Tsk, you still could form a coherent thought? Â
That simply wouldnât do for Gojo who is working so hard and bought all these new toys to see you come completely undoneâand he needed you too soon as he wouldnât last much longer in your squishy gooey core himselfânot how your cunt was holding him in the wettest sluttiest lil hug.Â
There's still one item left that he hadn't used yet though, that in trying to keep up his sleeve he'd nearly forgotten about entirelyâhis own brain quickly leaving itself on simmer by your greedy lilâ pussy sucking him in so sloppy.
Slightly changing your position for more leverage, he throws one of your legs on his shoulder slotting himself between your cushy thighs while he straddles the other leg. Fucking you sideways with increasing intensity from the bruising grip on your hips pulling your pelvis towards on him as he meets your thrusts smacking directly into your cervix.
âHeh, I know what will finish you off! Ya ready to cum baby? Squirt all on this dick you love so much, eh Bunny?âYeah ya fuckin' will.â
When you donât answer right away Gojo delivers a harsh slap directly on your clit, the moisture causing the increased sting to intensify sending your senses into a state of floating. Yet, bringing you back to reality, another harsh smack lands on your cunt and you jerk against your restraints, nearly dropping the phone on your face for real this time.
You donât understand what he's saying to you but you not regardless, eyes rolling back into your headâevery single pore on your skin submerged in pleasure. Completely unaware, you donât hear the additional buzz of the final toy until you feel its silicone lips latching onto your clit while the rigid faux tongue juts back and forth across your bud.
Eyes practically leaving your skull for the second time today, everything flashes white, blinding you even with your eyes wide open. A scream so guttural it comes out silent, the ball of tension in you finally bursting as releases flushes through your entire body.
Cumming harder than you ever had before, you just let go completely, gushing around Gojoâs thick cock still pistoning in your now drenched pussy. The splash zone from your cunt is quite a bit more than usual as a giant warm wet spot begins to soil and expand underneath you both.
Ears ringing, Gojo sounds a million miles away as you hear him chattering on about somethingâthe phone?
You wiggle your fingers, realizing you must have dropped it, but youâre still clueless about what has him so excitedâuntil Gojoâs voice finally slices through your haze, yelling out in absolute wondermentâ
âHOLY SHIT BABY, DID YOU JUST PISS ON ME??? MMM FUCK ME FOR REAL!?âSHIT! YOU WETTER THAN A WATER PARK BUNNYâSO FUCKIN NASTY! PLEASEEEEEE PLEASEEEE TELL ME YOU GOT THAT ON CAMERA!â
Suddenly, it dawned on you that when you had let go, you had quite literally let it all go.Â
You could dieâand if you could muster the strength to move you surely would have raced out to the backyard to quickly dig yourself a whole to do just that in. Yet that clearly would not an acceptable conclusion for your degenerate perv of a boyfriend who is acting like a sinner savedâpraising pussy like a newly reborn evangelist baptized in the essence of your erotic filth.Â
His elation is simple as he figures how much you really had to trust him to be able to let go and lose yourself to him to that extentânow he wants to lose himself to you as well.
Easily drowning all inside your sloshing pussy like he never swamâGojo doesn't stop, your pissing only encourages him to fuck himself further into a pussy drunk state to rival your own cock-induced stupor.
Yet, somehow he still maintains enough control to effectively lavish praises for how naughty and shameless your lil pussy is.Â
The frenzy drives him directly to his nut, eyes dilate further and slobber frothes past his lips while spearing his cock into you with renewed vigor. Whimpering and stuttering his words and hips alike. Gojo presses your leg draped across him back against you to be sandwiched between the two of you as leans forward to further ravage your swollen kiss bitten lips again.Â
Twisting you up like a pretzel and near the point of passing out from overstimulation you his insane joyous laughter sounds miles away as he topples over his peak pumping ropes of his vicious cumâthat heâd been saving up for all you over the last two daysâinto your battered creamy core.Â
Gojoâs thrusts begin to slow but heâs in your guts just as far pushing cockhead right against your cervix stealing your lips into another fiery kiss.
Once Gojo finally lets you breathe air again, youâre completely out of it, the dopey blushing smile on your face. The embarrassment from pissing all over him is completely forgotten as hearts all for him linger in your eyes.
Sex with Toru was never dull to say the very least.
âThere you go, thereâs my good girl, huh Bunny? Not bored anymore baby?â
Gojo smirks down at you knowingly while peppering your face with sweet loving kisses as youâre steadily drifting off, allowing every exhausted nerve to claim you.
It's still a good minute before Gojo slides out of you, seeinghis discarded phone next to youâit's still recording. A mischevous smile plays on his lips.
Wanting to capture the aftermath of his handiwork, Gojo sweeps the phone across your body, thumbing off moisture from your dewy soft skin soiled with warming oil and sweat. Making sure to linger longer on your lightly heaving chest and the sporadic quiver of your thighs.
Zooming in even closer, Gojoâs two long fingers to part your swollen lips open, admiring more of his workâhis masterpiece that was the copious amounts of cum and piss dribbling out of your abused lilâ hole down to the crack of your ass.Â
Now Gojo really has a dilemmaâhe wants to keep filming you as his cum, ever so slowly, trickles out of you. He thinks this scene would make the perfect time-lapse of the creamy sap seeping from your cunt like sugar maple. But heâs also fighting the urge to also suck all the creaminess out of you himselfâthe cum rimming around your puckered lower hole tempting him to Gojo start there and slurp and suck his way up your clit.Â
Truly, he never gets enough of how his taste mingles with yoursâand heâs quite curious to know how the additional waterworks will add to your delectable flavor.Â
You were so fucking filthy and so willing to try new things all thanks to this doppel quarantine causing you to make this big a mess in the first place.
God he needed this.
More.Â
He had to have more from you.Â
Gojo couldnât possibly bring this all to an end anytime soon.  Cooing against your inner thigh Gojo makes a promise to your cunt.
âHeh, don't worry pretty girl, I'ma give you six more months of quarantine at least! Can't wait toââÂ
ââTORU, ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW!?!?â
Whoops.
Yeah he definitely thought you were already fast asleepâteehee.
......RESULT: PASSED đđđ đđđđđđđđđą đđđđđđđđđđ đąđđđ đđ đ đđđđđđđ đđđđđđđïżœïżœđ đđđđ đđ đ đđđąđđđđđđâđđđ đąđđđ đđđđđđđđđđ đđđđđ đđđâđ đđđđđđ đđđąđđđđ đđđđ đđđđ.
that's not my jjk man series (visit series page for full animation)
comment and reblog! next up toji, already finished postingâ10/20
©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.
#âá°đđŸđđđ¶đÂąÏÏĐșŃ#âá°đđŸđđđ¶đÂąÏÏĐșŃâŃĐœÎ±Ń#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo headcanons#gojo thirst#satoru x reader#jjk crack#crack fic#anime fanfics#anime fanfic#jjk fanfic#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#satoru x you#thats not my neighbor#thats not my neighbour fanfic#tnmn#tnmntober#tnmn fanart
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one way; cbg
part i | part ii | part iii
đïžâ pairing; afab!reader x beomgyu
đïžâ word count; 17.3k
đïžâ genre; enemies 2 lovers, smut, & angst
đïžâsynopsis; things have gotten much more complicated in a relationship that spawned from simplicity
đïžâ warnings; thoughts of suicide and murder, brief descriptions of gore, PIV, balls in mouth, lots of kissing, not super smut heavy, manipulation, betrayal, descriptions of depression, assault (the usual), passionate sex, the l bomb
đâ aw man, this is very BITTERsweet. Idk how I feel about this. Ask me in a week and I'll either love or hate it. I didn't go into part one expecting to flesh out their relationship, so please forgive me if this long awaited finale doesn't reach your expectations. I am happy to finally say it's finished though!!
You didnât remind Beomgyu of anyone. Maybe before you started having sex, thatâs why he was so sure. He felt like he was experiencing deja vu from how similar you were to those groupies. Just awkward, quirky, and harmless. Youâre only here to do your job and just happened to become friends with this celebrity. The romantic feelings that developed, oh those are to be expected. Of course you fell in love! But if another handsome, famous fella came around and was willing⊠that love is suddenly conditional.
But then you were letting Beomgyu bite your lip and rip your clothes off, you were shoving your tongue down his throat and letting him fuck you in every conceivable position. While still remaining kind and loyal to Soobin.
You were even open about the things Beomgyu did to you. You didnât care how it made you look or if it would scare the others off. You didnât present it as this passionate sexy moment, but the clumsy and somewhat comical situation it was. You were comfortable with them. Letting them see the real you even if it wasnât exactly attractive. Maybe Beomgyu was wrong about you.
Then heâd catch these glimpses. Moments where he really saw Hyesoo in you. Everyone would be laughing and then suddenly youâd bring up a recent accomplishment of Soobinâs. It seemed weird to shift mid-conversation to boost him up. But when Beomgyu looked around, no one else saw anything wrong with it. He was hyper analyzing you and he was trying to stop. It was hard not to think about Hyesoo period, but with a new woman cozied up in their dorm it was even harder.
When youâd hit Soobinâs arm while laughing, buy only him snacks and drinks, laugh at his jokes harder than anyone else, fall asleep with your head on his shoulder. No matter how much he tried to stop himself, he couldnât stop thinking you were buttering him up. Locking him in.
Here he was, staying up until 5 am dwelling on every thought that enters his brain. He lays stagnant in your bed, staring at the ceiling but really at nothing at all. His head flops to the side and he catches a glimpse of your peaceful expression. His eyes track down to your arms curled around his bicep. He looks back up at the ceiling with a lengthy sigh.Â
He needs to leave.
It started with him staying a little longer to eat up the food in your fridge. You staying to chat with some of the guys. Him staying to help clean up the vase that fell and shattered during your ministrations. You staying to clean yourself off and mentioning that maybe he should bring by a few spare items of clothing in case he wants to shower at your place. Now both of you have clothes at the otherâs house and heâs spending the night.
He could dwell on everything he should or shouldnât be doing right now or he could stop fighting how the warmth of your presence is lulling him to sleep.
âđïžâ
Beomgyu wakes up in the absence of your warmth. If his memory serves him correctly, youâre off to practice by now. He canât help feeling pathetic as everyone rushes off to their duties while he lounges around. He only has one month left of his suspension before heâs back on the grind. He wants to just enjoy it, but the loneliness of it all after years of constantly being surrounded by hoards of people was undeniably crushing. The people he does see are usually rushing around before leaving him in an empty house.
He slumps out of your room and is hit with the scent of freshly made toast. He spots you in the kitchen, rushing around with a piece of toast dangling from your teeth. Upon seeing Beomgyu your eyes widen, brows raising as you prompt him.
âDâyou like butter on your toast? Actually, donât say anything, Iâm doing it.â Your speech is muffled until you take a bite and set the piece down. When Beomgyu finally reaches the kitchen he sees you sloppily slathering butter onto two extra pieces of toast. You place them on a small plate before pushing it toward him. You quickly steal another bite of your toast before scowling at him. âYou better not leave a mess for me to clean up.â
Once you finish chewing youâre still maintaining eye contact with Beomgyu. He stares intently, and you wonder if heâs still groggy from just waking up. Then his eyes break away to the state of your hair. He gives another second of thought before sweeping the unruly strands into place.
âYouâre going outside, where people will see you.â He tsks.
âSaid people should mind their business.â You punctuate by tearing off a chunk of your toast, maintaining eye contact pointedly. You throw the matching jacket to your sweatpants over your shoulder. âLock my door before you leave!â
As the door shuts, the sound echoing through the now empty apartment, Beomgyu feels hyper aware of how much empty space surrounds him where he stands. The loneliness looms over him, a reminder no matter where he goes. He may joke around, but Beomgyu tries not to whine about his problems. It feels especially inappropriate since you were in this same situation, bound to this apartment with a suddenly empty schedule. But for you, you werenât sure if you were getting fired or worse, getting stuck in the dungeon for years with no end in sight.Â
He thinks about that the entire time he stays within your walls. Where you stood, sat, and lied in limbo. From the couch, he glances over at the spot he found you lying in the day after you wrecked your house. A dark, malicious feeling crawls up his spine and he squirms. Staying in your house was already confusing for him, but with this feeling of what⊠guilt? He had nothing to feel guilty over. He was protecting his members.
Either way, it was overwhelming. He leaves your home, locking it on the way out. His dorm had his things. He can play video games all day until his eyes dry out. It was undeniably unfulfilling, despite it being what he craved since his trainee years. It felt as empty as his home.
He intentionally has his headphones only over one ear so he can hear when the door clicks open. Itâs too quiet to be more than one member. Whatever, heâll take what he can get. He leaves the game lobby, throwing his headphones off and rushing out of his room. When his eyes are met with blonde hair he stops in his tracks. Soobin silently regards him, not sparing him an ounce of emotion as he makes his way to the fridge. He grabs a soda, pops it open, and throws it back. Beomgyu waits patiently, he needs the interaction and Soobin has to give up this silent treatment at some point.
Soobin empties the can and tosses it, a silent conflict bleeding through his indifference to Beomgyuâs presence. Both men stand in silence, Beomgyu surveying each twitch in Soobinâs expression.
Soobin grits his teeth, hoping if he squeezes hard enough this aggravating feeling flaring up will pass. âYou know what really pisses me off?â He snaps once he fails.
The relief he expected doesnât come. Thereâs a pang of anxiety creeping up his spine in its place. âThat Iâm mean to your friend-â
âThat I have a feeling this is all about that situation you refuse to talk about.â Soobin immediately shoots down his quip, sparing none of his valuable time for Beomgyuâs antics. Soobin finds that new trials and tribulations rear their ugly head just when he thought heâd gotten used to them. Recently Beomgyu has been one huge trial. He hasnât been a good leader when dealing with this but Beomgyu is also his friend and roommate. Is he not allowed to just be upset by the actions of someone so close to him? Physically and emotionally?
When he looks over at Beomgyu itâs clear from the look on his face that heâs still not going to engage. Of course it wouldnât be that easy. Letting out a lengthy sigh, he decides itâs time to abandon his personal grievances for now.
âYou slept over at her house?â
Finally, it felt like someone was clamping their hands around his throat. âWhat, are you jealous or something?â He melts back into his usual self.
âIâm your leader.â Why does he even remind him anymore? Itâs becoming increasingly apparent that the title means nothing to him.
âYeah, you love reminding me of that fact when itâs convenient but it doesnât apply here.â Getting his fill of interaction, he leaves the kitchen in favor of the living room. âItâs none of your business.â
âIt became my business when you got in trouble. Youâre on suspension, Beomgyu.â Yet again reminding him of something he clearly doesnât care about. At least, he thinks he doesnât until Beomgyu stops. His back is turned toward Soobin but he can still tell that it got to him.
Beomgyu no longer feels isolated but he does feel trapped again. Like the exits are too far away for him to escape and heâs forced to face this. âI donât blame you for not speaking to the therapist they provide us with the risk of your confessions being reported, but if you tell me whatâs going on we can figure this out. Iâm also your friend, Beomgyu. You can talk to me.â He says softly, jumping at the chance of an opening.
This is the same guy he would laugh with until it physically hurt but he still couldnât stop. The one whoâd sneak him extra food as trainees. Heâs a lovable dork who has proved on so very many occasions that he cares about each and every one of his members. Beomgyu can see it, he can feel it whipping around in the air. Soobin is right and heâs being stubborn again. Itâs like the walls are closing in and pushing him closer to Soobinâs hurt but hopeful eyes. Beomgyu shuts his own.
âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
Before Beomgyu can see the full transition of his expression he whips around, making his way to his room.
âReally? Youâre still gonna pretend nothing is wrong?!â Soobinâs increase in volume is ignored as Beomgyu slams the door behind him.
âđïžâ
Tomorrow is Beomgyuâs last day in suspension. Yeonjun proposed they throw a party, just another excuse for Yeonjun to party. He invites anyone whose schedule is free which turns out to be a surprising amount of people. Friendly Yeonjun knows pretty much everyone in this generation and some from previous ones. This once empty building waiting to be bought was filled wall to wall with idols, models, and actors.Â
Everyone notable in Beomgyuâs life saw the suspension as a no-touch subject that dampened the mood, except for you of course, the delightful person you are. Here? People are coming up to him with a tone that can only be described as vengeful.
âHYBE seems like such tight asses. You guys should ditch that place and come sign with KQ.â Hongjoong delivers a solid pat to Beomgyuâs back as he guides him to the stacked liquor table. âLetâs forget about all of that tonight.â Hongjoong messily pours two shots, either from having too many already or from sheer excitement to let loose. He hands Beomgyu one before raising his into the air. âTo freedom!â
Itâs almost surreal. The music feels like it swells as reality starts to dawn on him. His containment is soon to be over and he is completely surrounded by people. Things were finally gonna start looking up again.
âTo freedom!âÂ
They both knock back their shots and submerge themselves back into the crowd of people with refreshed energy. His first instinct was to find you for some celebratory cum dumping, maybe fuck you into the wall of one of these fancy port-o-potties.
âHey.âÂ
The voice leads Beomgyuâs eyes to a pair of sultry eyes and plump lips curved into a flirty smile. She was a perfect ten with a rack sitting pretty, the round, soft spheres of her cleavage taunting his already horny brain. Jisun was always a nice piece of eye candy. âCatch up to me,â She gestures to the shot in her hand, âand then letâs play.â
âđïžâ
Beomgyu is strange. He clearly still holds some resentment toward you, or at least skepticism, but heïżœïżœs still around a lot. And you are too, which feels like poking the tiger. If he suddenly decides he still hates you he can rat you out with proof this time. You did blackmail the man. But this is just easier. Being strict and clear about your relationship was exhausting. Sometimes you donât want to journey right back home after getting your back blown out.
All it would take was one joke from Beomgyu about you being clingy and you wouldâve snapped back to the strict rules. Then he spent the night over your house and you felt a little at ease.
That meant you could finally have a sleepover at their dorm, staying up all night with Soobin watching scary movies and then being too scared to sleep. It also didnât hurt having something warm to snuggle up to. The strangest part? Beomgyu seemed to be easing up. He stopped giving you that look as much, as if heâs trying to catch you scheming.
The party was much needed, and judging by the vibe of literally everyone else around you, all the partygoers would agree. Thereâs this overwhelming sense of relief and itâs intoxicating. Nobody can be as relieved as Beomgyu, wherever he is. You keep an eye out for him, in case he wants to monkey around in some pocket of the building.Â
âHey!!â Soobin grabs your shoulder to stop you as he maneuvers around you. âThere you are!â
âAnd here you are! I canât believe youâre here and not at home watching anime!â You lean a little closer for him to hear over the music.
âI know! I decided I could try and blow off some steam since I pretty much have the day off tomorrow.â
âPretty much?â You ask, curious if a monthly diet and exercise report was a company-wide event.
âWeâre having a meeting before Beomgyu is reinstated. They said itâd be a small one but Iâm still blowing off steam in advance.â
âYikes. Letâs get some drinks in your system.â You guide him to the alcohol like a nurse escorting a frail patient.
All four of you were downing shots like your life depended on it on opposite sides of the bar. Beomgyu was caught up far before you and Soobin drank your stress away, so away he went. Jisun was whisked to whatever private area they stumbled across first. The spacious storage closet behind the first door he opened seemed like stumbling across the gates of heaven. With a swift turn, he flashes Jisun a smirk and pulls her in.Â
âHave you seen Beomgyu yet?â You probe, trying to look casual and not let your genuine inquiry slip through. Youâre realizing the longer youâve gone without seeing him today that you may crave more than just a quickie. A flash of his signature smirk passes through your mind and your stomach fills with a joyous warmth. You find yourself smiling. You quickly drop the smile, peering at Soobin as he stares at the ceiling.
âNot yet. I decided not to look for him and just let him relax. This party is for him after all.â He speaks quietly and you can tell thereâs a lot more going unsaid. âFor all we know he might not be here.â You laugh, having to force it as this feeling you canâtâ or wonâtâ describe dawns on you. Soobin sighs, not able to shake the conflict in his head.
âI donât know whatâs going on with this man. I donât know how to get him to talk about it-â He stops, raising his hands as if the gesture will help him conjure his thoughts. He shuts his mouth, dropping his hands in favor of grabbing a shot and downing it. âHas he said anything to you? About anything bothering him?â
âTo me? Yeah, thatâs not really how our relationship works.â You shake your head, tossing your own shot back to try and dull the emotions begging to be unpacked. Is something bothering him? When is something not bothering him? Now that you think about it, you havenât seen goofy Beomgyu with your own eyes. Youâve just heard about his harmless mischief through the grapevine. âLoveable bratâ is how you overheard Chaewon describe him. You didnât really get either descriptor at first. More like âpunchable assholeâ. Without the constant screaming and threatening to ruin the otherâs career, you suppose youâre getting close to seeing that side of him. The night before he slept over you shared a kiss that was simple. So simple it was loaded. There was no lust behind it, just a tender gesture with no follow up. Just you waking up holding him. And him holding you.Â
âDid something happen?â You ask before chewing on your nail.
âAround when we first debuted. I havenât thought about it in years because he refuses to talk about it. I really donât think this is just about him wanting to protect us.â Soobin shoves his shot glass away, seemingly giving up on that method since it doesnât seem to be working.
âBoy, arenât you glad you got stuck with these guys?â You laugh and he lets one out as well, though unintentionally. He shakes his head, straightening his face. âNo, I am. I really am. Iâm lucky.â He knows youâre joking, but it doesnât settle well when he remembers how heâs been acting. Beomgyuâs supposed leader giving him the silent treatment like a child or a frustrated lover. He sighs, letting out another laugh. This time itâs dry, expressing contempt for himself.
âIâm not really in the mood for a party anymore.â
Beomgyu did not ruin your career but he did ruin the mood for both of you and he wasnât even there. You echoed his sentiments and he convinces you to come over. It wasnât very hard, seeing as you could both use the company. There are no other members home yet so you didnât have to share the blanket. You had it wrapped around the both of you like a cocoon as you tortured him with a scary movie.Â
âWe couldâve been watching The Bad Guys and-â Soobin wails loudly right beside your ear at the worldâs most poorly set up jumpscare making you jerk away from him. He clings to you but you pry him off immediately.
âAre you not ashamed? A baby could sit through this.â You deride, shoving him away again when he tries to lean into you. âYouâre so mean!â He erupts after trying to grab onto you a third time.
âNo, youâre just a pussy.â
Soobin stands from the couch and snatches the remote from the other side of you. He pauses the movie, ignoring your protesting. âSince when were you so comfortable with disrespecting me?â He scolds playfully, setting his hands on his hips. âLast I remember, I was still your senior.â
âWould you rather I kiss your ass like before?â You cock your head to the side with a raise of your eyebrow, speaking about your former crush for the first time to him outside of the initial awkward phase after the rooftop mishap. He finally collects himself, fighting through his shock. He sits back beside you, keeping his eyes on you as he wraps the blanket back around you.
âI like this version of you much better.â He admits quietly, eyes genuine as they gaze into yours. You breathe a small laugh.
âDonât tell me youâve got a crush now, Choi.â You reply at the same volume. The atmosphere felt a lot more volatile suddenly, it was as if you both were close to triggering something.
âYouâre getting ahead of yourself.â His eyes leave yours, giving you a little time to breathe. âI am turned on, though.â
Your pussy clenches hard, feeling a vortex of pleasure swirl in your stomach. You suck in a breath subconsciously as your eyes become glued to how his tongue skits over his bottom lip. He must be wetting them in an attempt to maintain their softness, unlike Beomgyu who bites at them until theyâre utterly ruined. Kind of like heâs doing now back at the party. He just needs some way to cope with the pulsing need overwhelming him when he needs to empty his balls. With two handfuls of Jisunâs tits, he gets a similar feeling. His teeth dig and tug at his poor bottom lip. Better it be his lip than her soft skin. He needs to remember this isnât you heâs playing with.
Fuck, if it were you heâd sink his nails in until you yelped. Feeling his cock jump at the sound and ache at the thought of you loving the pain as much as he loves inflicting it. That delicious look in your eye exposing how much you want to absolutely ruin him in a way no one has before.
But the look you give Soobin gives Soobin pause. He raises his eyebrows before leaning back, letting his head fall back onto the couch. âYou donât still have a crush on me, do you?â
His eyes are like hot fudge drizzling over a mound of ice cream, melting every inch it touches. Still, something nags at you. You need something inside you and you need it bad⊠but this should be affecting you much more. âI donât think you have to worry about that.â
His eyes dip lower, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. Nag nag nag. Itâs just dick, you tell yourself. You just need some hard sex and this feeling will go away. You grab Soobin by his shirt and pull him on top of you. He happily engulfs you with his large body, caging you in as he devours your lips. Theyâre still slick with his own spit. They squish and slide against yours and your body ignites. You wrap your legs around him and push his bulge into your core. He groans and you grin against his mouth. So vocal.
Beomgyu would say the same about Jisun, except it wouldnât be praise. Itâs just noise with no rhyme or reason. Sheâs not reacting to the curl of his fingers inside her, her moans don't correspond with the clench of her walls, thereâs no sign sheâs being caught off guard by anything heâs doing. Just. Noise.
Everything about her just dissolves into meaningless blobs of nothing. His fingers sloshing inside a wet cavern, his hands squeezing doughy flesh, and his lips brushing against mindless flaps that omit noise constantly. It quickly becomes mind-numbing and he can feel himself going limp. If you were here instead, youâd gasp when he pushed his fingertips into your bundle of nerves. Not meaning to dig your fingers into his shoulders but not being able to help how your body naturally reacts. You donât want to whimper when he sucks on that sweet spot on your neck but you just canât help it.
He can feel himself get hard again, his fingers curling and pushing into Jisunâs heat fluidly with you vivid behind his clenched lids. Where are you? Heâs suddenly pulled out of the heated moment heâs sharing as the question pops into his mind. If he searched for you, could he be inside you right now instead? Jisunâs noises pull him from his thoughts. How pathetic would it be for him to scramble out of the closet, pussy juice still on his middle and ring finger as he looks for you with his eyes wide like a puppy? First he cuddles you and spends the night at your house and then you see him like that? His eyes snap open.
He grunts, pumping his fingers with more vigor. He has a warm hole for tonight. Thereâs always tomorrow. That frustrating feeling of the intoxicating warmth leaving his groin as you dissipate from his mind is back and he chases it again. The image of Jisunâs exaggerated expressions flicker away behind his fluttering lids before his mind projects your face twitching to keep your bliss hidden. Pleasure so strong that even the raging flames of hatred canât burn it away.Â
A penis entering a vagina was something you were taught was reserved for the pinnacle of love. When you were old enough you were promised tender touches and emotions so deep and complex they would bring you to tears. You and Beomgyu were swept up into the limelight long before you could get a chance to naturally build up such a relationship and experience such a transcendental feeling. Instead, the two of you bastardized the act with one night stands and relationships built on flimsy foundations only to come crashing down from neglect or simply not knowing who was under your sacred roof. How could you not? Thereâs no time, too much stress, and too much at stake.Â
So you fuck and fuck until the act becomes something so unrecognizable that you come out the other end. Letting someone tear at your flesh and tamper with your spirit as they touch you the way someone you love should. Yet here you are with someone who would treat you right, someone who you longed for for so long, someone who holds you like youâre porcelain with passion still flowing through every action. You should be falling head over heels again. Your crush should be flooding back with crashing waves wrecking everything in its wake until nothing is left but your undying need for Soobin. But no. He mouths your neck as he thrusts shallowing, checking in to make sure heâs not hurting you.Â
Everyone who taught you about how sex would feel were right about one thing. You were brought to tears.Â
âBeomgyu.â You blubber shamefully, gritting your teeth before hiccupping. You fail to suppress it. Everything becomes a blur as tears stream down your face. The self-pity numbs you beyond repair.
Your name leaving Beomgyuâs lips doesnât feel real. He only realizes what heâs done after Jisunâs warmth is gone. He opens his eyes and she has moved as far away from him as she possibly can in the confined space. Her angry words donât register as she fixes herself and storms out, brushing his shoulder on her way. Once he was old enough, Beomgyu was taught a little differently. His father would wait until his mother left the room to get filthy about it, wiggling his eyebrows. His friends would boast and fantasize lewdly in the back of the classroom about it. The pinnacle of sex was supposed to be casual with beautiful women. The only hate sex guys his age fantasized about were low-stakes scenarios you only see in porn. What the two of you had? No one with any ounce of self-preservation would touch this with a ten foot pole. Theyâd call you âpsychoâ, block your number, and avoid you like the plague.
Not daydream about you while experiencing a manâs definition of the pinnacle of sex.Â
âđïžâ
Soobin is a saint. He waited patiently for you to calm down, holding you and rubbing your back. He didnât complain about his lack of finishing once and didnât make you feel awkward. He just giggled at your swollen face after you finished. You sat quietly on the couch, staring at whatever movie had auto-played.
âYou guys are very similar, you know?â
The urge to start crying again chokes you and you swallow it down. âSoobin, that's a horrible thing to say.â You sigh.
He laughs loudly, trying to stifle his overflowing amusement after seeing your eyes get glassy again. âThatâs why you hate each other so much I think.â He says once the humor subsides.
âI hate him because he was horrible to me.â You correct, unable to suppress the annoyance flaring up at his ignorant assumption.
âHe was horrible to you, right?â He looks over at you, looking back at the tv once he sees your stone-like expression. âBut you still resent each other despite you guys not being at each otherâs throats for about a month now.â
âBecause Iâm wary. Heâs wary. We both are constantly remembering something horrible we did to one another.â You suck in a breath, ready to vent about all the ways heâs scarred your skin with proof, but which ones were the ones you encouraged? It didnât feel appropriate to lie or guess no matter how much you wanted to. Fuck, you wanted to scream about Beomgyu and how much you should hate him. You whimper, resting your face in your hands. âWhatâs wrong with me?â
Soobin doesnât answer, leaving you with your own thoughts. You find yourself appreciating the silence.
âDo you love him?â
Numb and hollow⊠yet throbbing and infected. The space between the skin of your forehead and the bone of your skull felt like it was swimming with complicated activity as your brain echoed the devastating question. Not because the answer was yes but because it had to be answered at all. You raise your head slowly from shaking hands before standing from the couch.
âIâm going to sleep.â
âđïžâ
Waking up that morning for both of you was somehow more loaded than waking up in each otherâs arms. You couldnât be with each other or away. It didnât matter. It wasnât simple anymore and the complication of it all was starting to get exhausting. You slip from beneath Soobinâs arm, careful not to wake him. Beomgyu trudges out of his bed, feet plodding heavily toward his door. Both doors close simultaneously with a dull, echoing thud, neither noticing the other as you both stand in silence. Itâs only when you start to move that Beomgyu notices you. His chest rises slightly with a small gasp. There you are.
âYou didnât tell me you were coming.â
For a second your eyes meet his and thereâs a flicker of something that excites him. You straighten up. âI was with Soobin.â
âBut you couldâve been with me.â Beomgyu can feel himself get worked up at just the thought of something that actually gets him going.Â
âBelieve it or not,â You draw nearer and Beomgyuâs eyes are locked onto your lips as they part. You lean in and the warmth of your proximity ceases his breathing âhe kept me company.âÂ
It felt like slow motion when you pulled away and winked at Beomgyu. A gesture that shouldâve been harmless and maybe even cute made Beomgyu feel like hot curdled liquid was crawling down his throat.
Once you pull back Beomgyuâs expression hardens. His eyes prick you like needles. âWhat?â
His tone and glare make you flinch. Your smirk flickers away. This is usually how it starts, but a part of you just wanted to cut out all the bullshit and get to the part where he makes you scream his name. But the look in his eye⊠somethingâs different. Somethingâs wrong.Â
âI-I had a little fun with Soobin. It didnât really go far though because IâŠâ You choke on your words, feeling your heart throb when he tore his eyes away. He couldnât read your mind but you couldnât stop yourself from believing he somehow sniffed out the pitiful truth.Â
Beomgyu laughs dryly and each moment without proper words made you feel like screaming. Beomgyu flexes his hands, avoiding your eyes while he cracks his knuckles. He balls them into tight fists before staring at you with a level of fury that makes your blood run cold. âI fucking knew it.â
The words struggle to leave his lips as if they had to pass through a filter of his growing disdain for you. Quiet, yet still piercing enough to get you stammering. âY-you canât be serious. Youâre not seriously talking about what I think you are right now are you?!â
And just like that the two of you are back to square one. Everything that happened in the last two months, hell, the last 48 hours feel like they mean nothing. Why would they? Itâs Beomgyuâs fault for letting things get the way they are. Beomgyu feels this nauseating sensation curdle in his stomach and itâs strong. So strong it forces a lie out of him.Â
âIâm just trying to protect my members. Godâ is that a crime or something? Why am I the bad guy? Youâre not gonna get away with using us like toys. Maybe youâll have better luck whoring around Enhypen.â He spits out the words, hating the way they taste. This is your guysâ dynamic, right? Now youâll start throwing things and screaming at him.Â
But nothing comes and Beomgyu realizes he hasnât been looking at you. At what point he looked away again, he wasnât sure, but he couldnât get himself to make eye contact again. The lack of response clouds his lungs, a stabbing pain screaming in his temples.
After the silence suffocates him to near death he finally manages to look at you. He has to muster all his strength, but he does. And youâre crying. His body feels hollow. No arousal or sadistic pleasure is derived from this. He canât even feign it.
Still, the silence wonât let up and as if to punish him, his body wonât let him look away. As if two hands are holding his head in place and as a sinister voice hisses in his ears.
LOOK AT WHAT YOUâVE DONE.
How much time passes, heâs not sure. Enough time for him to realize how much chaos and stress heâs caused to his leader, his members, his company, and to an innocent person with an innocent crush.
More tears well and skit from your cheekbones straight to the carpet beneath both your feet. Darkening the fabric. The words youâve been choking on finally release, though they sound frail and strangled. âBeomgyu. I donât know how else to get through to you. I care about Soobin. FuckâŠâ You donât attempt to wipe the tears away or cease them in any way. Your head falls as if your neck can no longer support it. âI was starting to care about you.âÂ
Hostile would be putting it lightly. The activity in your brain and heart is like a dozen hornetâs nests being shaken and preparing to erupt, one for each emotion reaching its peak. You grit your teeth so hard you think theyâll crumble under the pressure.
âYou wanna know something? The only person hurting someone by turning on them is you.â You hate the implications this leaves but your thoughts and emotions are on overdrive and you need to leave before it gets any uglier. âIâll respect your wishes. Friends arenât worth dealing with this, Iâd rather be alone. Just promise me you wonât involve my career in your bullshit this time.â
As you storm away, barely able to look that man in the eye you realize this. This is what you were wary of the entire time. It wasnât him ruining your career or biting you until he draws blood or turning your friends against you. It was this feeling you were experiencing. Pain so deep youâd almost call it heartbreak. However, it wasnât earned from time spent with someone who cherished you and made you feel like you were worth something. All this heartacheâŠ
You let him do unspeakable things to you. You let him hurt you in ways you wouldâve never let anyone else. You welcomed it.
In an alternate reality, youâd be kicked out of your company, stuck with a damning reputation, and banned from the only true friends you had. The man who wouldâve caused all that turmoil in your life, with the intent to cause that harm, is the same one who your heart is aching for.Â
âđïžâ
The curtains across the room have become blurry blobs of color after being stuck staring in that direction for what felt like too long. You had to start, if youâre late sending this video in then there will be another crack. You manage to squeeze your eyes shut and jump start your brain once again from its brief hiatus.
The inhale you suck in shudders beyond your control. The more time that passes with that song out in the open for anyone to hear, the less you can hide your anxiety. You hold your breath until it hurts before blowing out a rushed gust of wind. Youâre stagnant again, and before your brain can shut down for one more sweet break you force a smile and hit record.
âHello precious moonbeams!~ I hope youâre all doing well. Thank you for all the support on Strawberry Jam. I was so worried!â You pout. âItâs a bit of a weird song, right? Itâs very different from Laude so I was scared you guys wouldnât like it. But⊠wow. The support isâŠâ Sincerity bleeds through as you reflect on traversing your favorite store and then hearing your voice through the speakers.
âPierce me, Bruise me, keep going until you see strawberry jamâ
Your blood runs cold, and your eyes snap up as if youâre being caught saying something you didnât mean to be publicized. A couple of passersby whisper or stare or gasp. You run out of the store.
Before you can get too sincere you force the smile back in place. âItâs overwhelming. Seriously.â Your eyes get glassy and you chew on your lip. âThank you.â
All the cracks that have reared their ugly head so far have been mostly forgotten because of the overnight success of your first comeback. Your debut was deemed a flop in comparison to your colleagues, so this was absolutely necessary. It was mandatory. You finally feel like youâre making progress digging out of this deep hole.Â
There are signs your company still doesnât fully trust you.
The first big sign was the debut delays. You were sure they were going to cancel it and that they saw you as a risk. The cracks were treacherous. Then you debuted and the reception was lukewarm. You sat in limbo for days, reading negative comments until your head span. A piece chips off revealing an inky black abyss.Â
Then you heard your comeback song. Instead of classy and subdued like your debut, this song was hard to swallow. It was asymmetrical and loud. It was raunchy.
âWhat do you think?â
You sat in silence, jaw dropped open, a truck sized lump in your throat. You could hear the sound of cracking. But why? This song was a clear hit. You could hear another idol performing it well.Â
But itâs yours.
âReady to record?â
You nod, hoping that will become true with time.
The track plays and your fears ease a bit. You bob your head to the beat. Everything goes fine until the same lyrics that struggle to come out of your mouth approach. You power through. You need this.
âI should hate it but I donâtâ
This will be a hit, you can get through this.Â
You continue powering through but the dread builds and builds. You hate this line, you hate it so much. Your breath gets caught in your throat right before itâs time and you know youâre about to choke.
âCanât promise I wonât cry but IâŠâ You sigh and drop your head. You already knew it was coming when they ask you to do it again.
âCanât promise I wonât cry but I-I know that you like thatâŠâ
CRACK
The producer slides his headphones off with a chuckle. âI know. Itâs weird, right?â He winces as if heâs mirroring your assumed feelings on the matter. Heâs half right. Itâs obscene and you hate it. You hate it so much.
âIâm sorry, letâs go again.â
The track replaying is like a death march. Your throat bobs, doing little to refresh your throat that feels like itâs filled with cactus needles and glass.
âCanât promise I wonât cry but I know that you like that-â
The line processes in your mind and you connect it to the past despite avoiding doing so as if your life depends on it. You reflect on all the times heâs brought you to tears. How hot they felt rushing from your eyes after you frustratingly kissed him for the first time. How helpless and pathetic you felt crying as he restrained your wrists, only to spray you in his seed mockingly. And most frustratingly of all, you crying while revealing that you actually cared about him after he did exactly what you knew he would.
CRACK
The calls of your name are muffled as flashes of his face refuse to leave. You grit your teeth, feeling a frightening level of rage familiarly build up inside you. âI hate him.â
You rush out of the recording booth, mortified as tears stream down your face. Heâs done it again. He isnât even here and heâs done it again. If he could see you right now heâd probably smile. It would probably brighten his day. And you welcomed that monster into your bed.
Youâre all the way back home once you realize what youâve done. The producer is probably calling your manager who is calling the CEO about how much of a pain in the ass you are. You need to get yourself together quickly and get back there. You run to your bathroom and look in the mirror. You plant your shaky hands on the sink
âIâmâŠâ
Your voice wavers. Your resolve dissipates as you stare at the cracks that have transferred to your very visage. A shard dangles where your eye resides before falling away. Again, the black nothingness is left behind and youâve already forgotten what your face normally looks like.
Your phone starts to buzz and you slowly fade back to reality.
âđïžâ
âI have no clue who that is. Why canât we collab with a Korean artist?â Beomgyu mutters. Soobin grits his teeth and elbows him. He rolls his eyes despite the instant regret. It takes only a minute of fading into the background as the other guys engage in productive conversation for the guilt to fully bloom. On one couch there were four employees and one temperamental child.
No matter where he goes he feels this way. The guys donât bring girls to the dorm anymore. If they go out to see one, they nervously lie about it and rush out of the door.Â
Anytime they bring up a memory tainted with you, Beomgyu is greeted with shocked silence and finds four panicked eyes on him like theyâre afraid theyâve poked a tiger.
All those posters, cardboard cutouts, and billboards that are fucking everywhere are like land mines. To anyone else it would be comical to watch four grown, big ass men tiptoeing around a mall like one wrong step will blow their leg clean off.
And the song.
Beomgyu⊠he is really trying to get better. If he didnât attempt to, Soobin would probably choke him out. Heâs been very patient, but anyone in his shoes would be exasperated. When theyâre in public or in a meeting and Beomgyu is being a menace is one thing, Soobin lets him know then and there that heâs serious.
However, when theyâre alone, itâs strangely peaceful. He asks Beomgyu about his day and his mental and emotional state. He hasnât brought you up for a while now. Tomorrow will make 6 months.
Tomorrow comes, Beomgyuâs indifference is slipping. While everyone else walked on eggshells, Beomgyu coasted through the situation like nothing happened. But somehow, the fact that the boys are becoming more accustomed to not bringing you up is bothering him. He only sees you through screens or your likeness plastered on paper or cardboard.Â
The last time you physically entered his vision was during your goodbye stage of your debut promotions. It was a brief glimpse but it was enough to show you werenât doing well. It was an image burned into his memory. None of the photo shoots could replace it. Even longer before that was the last time the two of you made physical contact. The feeling of holding you in your bed is long gone. Everything about you feels like a ghost now.
âHere he is!â Beomgyu looks up from his phone he wasnât really looking at anyway to see Soobin walking over with some girl. Beomgyu slides down his mask to present the girl with a tight smile and bow.
âThis is Jiwon from Cherry Bullet.âÂ
âHello.â Jiwon bows with a bright smile and somehow the common gesture illustrates just how efficient of a person she is. He has no clue what a cherry bullet is but something tells him sheâs a stellar idol. But why was she talking to him? Beomgyu looks up at Soobinâs phony wide smile before getting distracted by the rest of his members frantically trying to stop whatâs happening. Yeonjun tugs Soobin to the side, jaw jutting forward as he grits something out Beomgyu canât quite decipher.
âIâve heard people refer to you as a video game protagonist.â Beomgyuâs attention is ripped away from his members as Jiwon speaks again with a little more hesitance this time. What, does she think heâs a ticking time bomb too?
âWhat?â
âYour visuals.â She clarifies, seeming a little more relaxed now. âNow that I see you in real life I can say I see it too. I didnât know before but I think thatâs my style.â She looks down, still appearing resolute despite the shy action.Â
âI donât usually do things like this, I value my job and image, but I was just so curious about you. I felt a bit weird asking Soobin to introduce me to you butâŠâ As if she realizes sheâs been having a one-sided conversation, she stops herself and looks at Beomgyu expectantly.
Every so often, Beomgyu catches wind of a rumor going around about himself. Whether itâs someone heâs cool with reporting back to him or rookies being way too loud and excitable. He supposes every idol experiences this, and most likely theyâre as indifferent as he is. Heâs a former thug, heâs gay, heâs fucking an executive, and the biggest one:
Heâs a womanizer.Â
That one sometimes goes hand in hand with the thug one, but itâs mostly referring to his current idol lifestyle. He doesnât know how it happened. He hasnât been in a relationship since Hyesoo. He couldnât be one if he tried. He lets his emotions get in the way. A part of him wishes it were true. Maybe he would stop craving nails raking into the flesh of his back or bite marks on his bottom lip and shoulders. Maybe he would stop waking up with soiled sheets because he has dreams about being ridden long after heâs already cum.Â
Of course now heâs thinking of you, despite chatting it up with Jiwooâ or no, JiâŠ
Youâre probably getting relief every other day with how famous you are now. If you even have the time. In that case, youâre probably locking you and some guy in dressing rooms, closets, anywhere you can get privacy for a quickie.Â
But no⊠youâre not like that. You only let Beomgyu see the deepest, darkest parts of you because you were pushed to do so. Beomgyuâs face goes slack, staring deep into space. You hated him so much that you didnât care about bearing the ugliest side of you to him. Gnashing your teeth with your shirt a tangled mess over your torso after you gave up on taking it off. Saying the most venomous things Beomgyuâs ever heard while milking him for all heâs got. Even after things cooled a bit, you would let him touch and taste you before you even showered. Opening the door to let him in with stains all over your shirt and leftover makeup from the day before.
âI thought about jumping off the roof at practice while I was on my break.â You had said to him after couch sex. You guys were watching Community and eating ice cream. You were just joking about one of the characters being dumb. Beomgyu had looked at you, completely bewildered.
âIsnât this what you wanted? What youâve been waiting for?â He asks incredulously.
You sigh dramatically.
âYeah, but Iâm so fucking hungry. My body aches and my hands shake so much I can barely hold a pen to write my own name. I made a mistake and my instructor cussed at me and called me useless.â You laughed sharply before letting your head droop over to face him. âDâyou know they delayed my fucking debut again? Before I thought about offing myself I imagined slitting my managerâs throat and bludgeoning the dance instructor to death and stripping down so I could smear both their blood all over me until it covered every inch of my skin. It was so brief but so so vivid.â You rushed out the words in a crazed fashion and you looked at him with wide eyes. You smile. âThen I imagined you coming in, we had sex and then I strangled you until your eyes bulged outââ You catch your breath and look back at the tv. You looked down at your hand and groaned. Your ice cream had melted over your trembling hand.
âFuck itââ You rush over to the trash can and chuck it before aggressively wiping off your hand with a tattered kitchen towel. You stomp over to the fridge and take out one of the multiple spoiled bags of salad mix and dump it in the trash to cover up the tossed ice cream. You throw a glance at him.
âMake sure you eat that all or cover your tracks if you throw it away.â You mutter, finding your voice wavering suddenly. You sniffle, slamming down on the couch. You refuse to look over at him as tears break free from your eyes. You feel him move closer to you on the couch and you grit your teeth. His hand curls around the column of your throat but he doesnât apply pressure.
âI imagined killing my manager once too.â
You peer over at him, heâs looking down, his thick lashes on display. âExcept I stabbed him over and over and over until he was an unrecognizable mound of mush. Youâre right, it flashed by so fast. I was so sickened by it I pretended it never crossed my mind. Yet here we areâŠâ He finally looks up with a smirk. He finally applies the pressure and you inhale a shuddering breath.
He moves his lips next to your ear, his breath fanning on it making you shiver. âDoes it hurt?â
Immediately understanding what he meant you nod feverishly.Â
âIâll distract you.â He answers quickly before swinging his leg over and resting his knee on your thigh. He sits all his weight on your thigh and he squeezes your throat. He repeats it again breathily as he stares down at you wistfully. Your strangled whimpers get him straining against his jeans.Â
âI-IâŠâ You find yourself speaking against your will. No⊠this isnât how this went. He squeezes again and you moan. You want to clench your thighs but his knee is pinning your leg down. You canât think, itâs perfect. Still, you find your mouth moving. No! There were no more words exchanged after this. You fucked again and he slept over.
âI-Iâm so lonely,â Your voice quivers before you begin sobbing uncontrollably. When you open your eyes and blink away your tears you see a twisted wide grin on his face. His eyes are wild. You tremble in fear, unable to speak anymore. No no no no no no noâŠ
âI fucking knew it.â
You gasp for air, it feels like heâs crushing your windpipe.
âJust a sad, lonely, nobody coming to mooch off of us. Pitiful. You want friends? Huh?â You feel blood rushing up to your face. âToo bad. You donât deserve love. No one fucking likes you and no one ever will. Iâll do you a favor.â
Almost as if heâs beating you to what you briefly daydreamt about, he applies his other hand and you want to scream. Your ears start ringing and you feel something warm trickle from your ears and all of a sudden thereâs a bright light and a piercing noiseâ
You jolt up from your bed, continuing to sob like you did in your nightmare. You stumble out, nearly tripping as you reach to turn the light on. After doing so you slide down against the wall. Sobbing until your chest hurt and you had no air left in your lungs.
âđïžâ
Thereâs no doubt this song has gotten you some perverse comments and unwanted attention, but it must also get you positive attention too. Heâs never seen you hang out with anyone else besides the guys but surely you have an entourage by now. Guys lining up to treat you right. Ones you wouldnât feel are deplorable enough to casually bring up your murder fantasies to.
âGyu?â
Jiwon has that confused tone in her voice. God, he tuned her out by accident again.Â
âAre you okay? It seems like youâve been zoning out a lot.â She sounds cautious again. Beomgyu can tell that sheâs trying to avoid what might set him off. Did Soobin tell her about you? How heâs just a screaming match waiting to happen?
âTo be fair, Iâve had a lot to think about recently.â Beomgyu gives her a look, he knows sheâs aware of what heâs referring to. Her awareness is becoming increasingly obvious.
She sits down beside him in the other folding chair backstage. Not dissimilar to when they first met. Even more similar, he notices his members frantically whispering to each other while looking at him.
âAre you still feeling bothered by that?â Jiwon places a hand on his but it doesnât pull his attention away. Suddenly Kai is casting a fearful look to his right. Beomgyu, already feeling something stirring in his stomach follows his eyeline.Â
A pair of black docs accented with black opaque hosiery that almost stop where your red skirt starts. The skirt looks tattered, purposefully so. Itâs asymmetrical and overlapped by a black, intricately designed corset top. Your hands that are running through your hair are donned in a red, loosely fitted pair of sheer gloves. Once your arms stop shielding your face and you lift your head, Beomgyu sees your mascara running. His stomach drops.
The stylist scolds you and quickly tries to fix the mess. You donât react at all, face stone cold. Maybe you just had a bad day, Beomgyu thinks.
Itâs cliche, but it never stops shocking you how blinding the stage lights are. They glint sharply, feeling like theyâve sliced your eyes. You shut them, only to quickly open them once you remember people can see you. You force a smile on your face, not caring if it looks like you have a gun to your head. This is all you have left.
The bright light nearly pricks tears back to your eyes but you hold them back just like you hold back the thoughts of the texts your parents sent you this morning. You donât want to perform today, the last thing you want to do is sing this song that is now ruining relationships. However, now this is truly all you have left. So you flip the switch as soon as the music starts and donât turn it off until itâs safe to cry again.
You almost melt away on your couch when a knock startles you. You race to the door, thinking it may be your manager. A part of you still expects her to scold you about something she found out. Itâs been months but you still fear Beomgyu saying something. A shaking hand pulls open the door.
Myungsoo smirks lazily. Kim Myungsoo. You have to pinch yourself still, despite it being a month now since he first spoke to you. Youâre used to people speaking to you first by now. Youâd rather they stick around, hang out with you, but that never happens. When he came up and asked you about your song, you were positive youâd probably never see him again. A man you used to have posters of slipping right through your fingers. But then he suddenly stayed put.
âWhatâre you up to?â He asks before widening his smile. Your heart flutters.
âI was going to take a nap.â You say quietly, very much distracted. Him brushing some of your hair behind your ear doesnât help.
He waits a beat as he presses his lips into a thin line. âNeed help?â
Your heart drums against your rib cage, it almost hurts how much you need it. Heâs been teasing you during this exciting yet excruciating month. Hinting that he wants to fuck you but never doing it. You nearly came when he put his hand on your thigh last week.
Now his hand is there again, and it takes every ounce of strength you have to not lift your hips and coax him to where it hurts. He insisted on leaving the television off so you canât even pretend not to have your full attention on him.Â
âCâmere.â He whispers, his voice so warm it melts you. You scoot over and lean your head on his shoulder. You guys stay like that and youâre contentâ you really are⊠but itâs becoming increasingly more difficult not to shove his hand down your pants. You donât know how long itâs been but your body is screaming at you. He shouldâve been inside you already, you guys should have been done with your first round actually. Your impatience gets the best of you and you look up at him. He raises his eyebrows questioningly.
âTake a nap. Isnât that what you said you were doing?â
You laugh dryly, too annoyed to take it back or be mortified at your outward display of your sexual frustration.Â
âIs something wrong?â He pouts his lips mockingly. You sit up from him but he pulls you back.Â
You let out a strained sigh. âI think I need to be alone to take a nap actually.â
âWhat, now youâre kicking me out? Did I do something wrong?â His cutesy act is nauseating right now. It pushes you to reveal how you actually feel.
âArenât you building us up to be just fuck buddies? Why are you beating around the bush?â Youâre desperate, but itâs more than just being horny. At the moment you have no outlet for the overwhelming amounts of anxiety and growing depression. Despite what you had with Beomgyu being⊠what it was, you remember a wave of serenity after it was all said and done. You bickered as you got your clothes back on but then he left and your body was noticeably less tense.Â
âI never said anything about that. You know, you claim you had nothing to do with the song but Iâm a little skepticalâŠâ He traces shapes over your bare shoulder and you shrug it off with a scoff before sitting up. The annoyance was building towards being affronted, but you could feel something tingling like a spark crackling inside your stomach. It was back, a feeling you havenât felt in quite a while.Â
âExcuse me?â
âI mean,â Myungsoo shifts toward you, âyouâve been practically begging to be fucked the minute we met. Youâre not as subtle as you think.â His faux sympathy melts away once he sees fire glinting in your eyes. He canât help but smile.
âShut your fucking mouth.â You spit before mounting his lap and devouring his lips. This is it, thereâs no mistaking it. But somethingâs missingâŠÂ
Myungsoo sits there, barely moving his lips against yours. Your hands roam his entire body while his are still by his sides. You pull away, afraid that you were mistaken, but heâs smiling up at you. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before coaxing you to finish.
âYou want it, donât you?â
And so you strip your shirt off, the fabric pulled away to reveal your eyes blown wide with lust. You capture his lips again and it tastes so sweet. You nearly tremble after finally breaking through that barrier that never seems to leave. You feel powerful for the first time in months as you slide your hands under his shirt. You puff out a frustrated gust of air before sliding off his lap and kneeling before him. You look up at him as you unzip his jeans. He smirks the entire time, lifting his hips to let you slide his jeans and underwear down. He exaggerates the movement of stretching his arms back and resting his hands behind his head. You falter, suddenly self conscious.Â
âWhatâs your deal?â
He answers quickly, somehow knowing exactly what you were referring to. âI dunno⊠maybe Iâm just not feeling it yet.â He sighs, reaching for his flaccid member and stroking it disappointedly. âLook at it, so pitiful.â
You swat his hand away, feeling challenged by his words. You start with his balls, licking in between them before circling your tongue around each one. You glance up at him and his cock twitches. His smirk flickers away briefly to revel pleasure while looking at the determination in your eyes.
Youâre just so happy to finally taste someone. The way a cock feels in your hands and on your tongue, so silky and soft. So sinfully beautiful when covered in thick globs of saliva. There is truly nothing like it. But again, there was something missing.
Anywhere you and Myungsoo were together turned into a new spot for you to fuck. Youâd give him the eyes which heâd ignore. Then youâd touch him. Kiss him. Whisper in his ear. None of it worked until you were pulling him somewhere secluded. Even when you were at his place or him at yours. It was like pulling teeth. But whatever, foreplay for you and Beomgyu was degrading and threatening each other. This was nothing.
It didnât stop at foreplay, though. Throughout the entire act heâd be so smug, never reacting to anything. Only small glimpses of pleasure could be caught, but if you blinked you could miss it. You find yourself fighting for his passion. However, it remained one-sided.
âđïžâ
Jiwonâs ministrations were soft, almost like they werenât there. She had a pretty pair of lips but they were like feathers against his.
âNoonaâŠâ He whispered, brushing his nose against hers.
âHm?â She barely pecks his lips. Beomgyu inhales deeply before grabbing the back of Jiwonâs head and deepening the kiss. She makes a muffled noise of surprise but her eyes slowly flutter shut. She melts into the kiss for a few lovely seconds before forcing herself to pull away. She clears her throat before grabbing both of Beomgyuâs hands.
âLetâs take it slow, okay?â Jiwon gives him a pleading look and he only groans inwardly. Itâs been a minute, and Jiwon is not a woman you come across too often. And they actually have a relationship he can brag about, someone he could see himself marrying. Sheâs pristine.
âWhy, you didnât like it?â He smirks and she scoffs.
âI did, but I just think itâs better for us if we donât rush things.â
Beomgyu tries really hard to hide the cynicism threatening to rear its ugly head. Jiwon was finally not walking on eggshells around him. He thinks long and hard about what heâs going to say and panics when he thinks heâs said the wrong thing.
âFine. But a deeper kiss wonât kill us.â Beomgyu brushes away his train of thought before smiling.Â
It wasnât long before Beomgyu and Jiwon made it official, only telling people they trusted and not risking visiting each other anywhere but their dorms. Even that takes several days of planning.Â
âHow does it work? Weâve never been.â Taehyun says, leaning forward in anticipation.
Jiwon takes a moment to swallow her sip of tea and to think.Â
âThis will be my second survival style show. I think that theyâre not dissimilar to being a trainee, honestly. The ferocity of everyone around you is still there. This new one is a little less intense, though. I guess the stakes arenât as high.â Once she finishes talking she takes another delicate sip of her tea. Beomgyu watches intently, admiring how elegant she is. Itâs so effortless for her. She continues her mature conversation with his members but Beomgyu is completely checked out. Thereâs a lingering sour feeling prodding at him as he watches her. It makes his smile flicker away.
âRight Beomgyu?â Soobin elbows him and Beomgyu is finally broken out of his daze.
All Beomgyuâs plugs slowly enter each outlet. âHuh?â
âYou were so social during our trainee days, it was hard for people to hate you.â Soobin says, making everyone chuckle.
âEven when they saw you as competition, no dice.â Yeonjun chimes in. It was fun to reminisce until it wasnât. He was smiling again and it seemed to immediately go away the longer he thought about it. Heâs been told this. That heâs unhateable. Heâs too silly, a loveable brat. But you managed.
âHe could never do wrong. We make a mistake and it would start a fight. Beomgyu would do the same thing and they would just brush it off.â Kai adds, and everyone laughs again except for Beomgyu whoâs stuck staring in space, his water bottle static in his hands.
âThatâs so true!â Someone gushes through the laughter.Â
âFunny how things change, huh?â
The room goes silent as Beomgyu takes a swig from his bottle.
Jiwon looks panicked before laughing nervously. âWhat do you mean? Iâve never laughed this much before meeting you, and the girls love when you come over. Not to mention having four members who love you. Thatâs rare, you know.â Â
Soobin claps before pointing at Jiwon. âThatâs exactly right!â
âWhat else could you need?â Jiwon rubs Beomgyuâs back, making him realize that sheâs not miles away from him like it feels she is. Sheâs right. So everything will eventually get better.
âđïžâ
 âLetâs go to a karaoke bar next!â Eunchae ugly laughs in excitement, already running ahead with Kazuha chasing behind her. Yunjin loops her arm with Sakura before following the younger members, engaged in a personal conversation. On instinct, Chaewon follows close by, yelling for the younger members to slow down.
The five of them have a warm dynamic thatâs so enticing. Their figures growing further, soaked in the various vibrant hues of neon signs. It was like a scene out of films you watch alone on your couch. Itâs right there.
Freezing as if something dawned on her, Chaewon swiftly turns around to face you.
âYou coming?â She shouts.
âUgh, she never comes. Letâs just go.â Yunjin whines dismissively. Chaewon looks conflicted as her gaze switches between you both. You stretch your mouth into a thin line.Â
âI have to get home. Iâll text you.âÂ
Chaewon wants to protest but when she looks back at her members, theyâre much farther away than she thought. Then when she looks back at you, youâre already gone.
From the corner of the bar, you send texts back and forth. Your head slips off your fist and nearly slams into the table before you stop it. Just an hour before, you were here with a group of people. The memory feels like particles of dust floating through the air that you try to clutch in your fist.
âAre you okay? I think youâve had enough for the night. Call a cab and go home.â The stern, motherly tone of the owner doesnât offend you at all. You donât get to answer before sheâs off sweeping the other end of the restaurant. You let your body completely slump over, resting your upper body on the table.
A tsk barely pricks at your foggy brain. âWhat a mess.â Myungsoo sighs.
âTake me home oppa.â You giggle with your cheek squished against the table. He raises his brow at you and you raise your arms. He groans before picking you up from the table and holding you bridal style. You rest your head against his chest, feeling tired against his warmth. Youâre just about to drift off to sleep when heâs placing you into the passengerâs seat. You whine in protest but heâs already shutting the door. The gentle car ride makes your lids heavier until they shut completely.
Myungsoo picking you up again has your eyes slowly lifting open. You watch his face as he carries you. His body heat is intoxicating. You canât stop your eyes from flickering down at his lips. You donât want to mount him like you usually do, you feel something deeper. Maybe there was a reason he took so long to let you have him at first.Â
He lets you down to unlock his door before taking you by the hand and leading you in. Youâre cuddling on his bed, still unable to take your eyes off him. Heâs caught you a couple times and all he does is smile. This time his eyes linger on yours before whispering for you to come closer. Youâre moving as soon as he says to, connecting your lips to his hungrily.Â
He smells and tastes so good. You trace your tongue over his bottom lip before pecking his mouth. He grins, letting out a warm, chesty chuckle.
âI love when you guys get like this.â
You laugh, a little confused. You peck him again. âYou guys?â
He caresses the back of your neck before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. Your breath picks up as you climb on top of him, smashing your mouths together. He pulls away and whispers breathily in your ear.
âYou have that twinkle in your eye. You need me. All you think of is me.âÂ
You shudder, grinding down on him. You trail kisses all over his neck as he continues.
âIf I were to leave, youâd be devastated.â
The thought makes you whimper, nipping at his neck. He hisses. âStop it.â You say in a tiny voice. You feel his bulge grow more prominent.
âYouâd do anything to please me, make me stay.â He moans through the sentence, bucking up into you. Your heart starts thumping, and the longer this goes on the more you realize itâs not because youâre turned on. You lift from him.
âI said stop.â Your face is hot. Itâs right, heâs completely correct. You want to have your hands and lips on him at all times and your heart is constantly clenched by the fear that he doesnât really care about you.
âWhat? Should I make you bleed instead?â He laughs.
Your chest constricts, your breath getting caught in your throat. Your lips tremble as you quirk your jaw trying to curb the anger bubbling up.Â
âWhat did you just say?â
âBabe.â He sits up on his forearms. âIâm just trying to rile you up a little bit. Iâm just having a little fun.â He looks you up and down, heâs getting harder underneath you.
Right⊠this is something youâre familiar with. Something that could lead to even a moment of serenity. But itâs never that way with him. His eyes judge you and urge you to satisfy him. He doesnât even have to say a word and youâre scrambling to make sure heâs pleased. Youâre giving your all as he lazily lies beneath you, enjoying the show. Exuding passion with nothing in return is exhausting, that exhaustion finally dawning on you.
âWell Iâm not.â You say before swinging your leg back over him. You slide out of his bed and start putting your clothes back on.
âWhere are you going? Come on, you donât actually want to leave.â He barely moves, just shifting a little to the side.
âI just need a little space for the night.â You hurriedly slip into your pants, wanting to leave instead of having this conversation.
âNo you donât. You need company like you need water.â His velvety smooth voice that once coaxed you into giving your all to him is gone. Whatâs left is harsh yet dismissive.
âYou donât know what I need, Myungsoo.â You shoot back, throwing your shirt on the bed.
âI know, everyone knows. Youâre so lonely you walk around everywhere like a lost puppy but run away whenever anyone tries to get to know you. Thereâs a reason you were texting me and not your friends you were just drinking with. Iâm all you have. So donât be stupid.âÂ
Just like that, the harsh lines in his face melt away and heâs back to smirking, patting the space beside him in the bed.
Is this what you deserve? They say you shouldnât look a gift horse in the mouth. And heâs right. Heâs so right, again. Maybe you should just sink into the warmth and turn your brain off. Turn on the switch to perform.
However, as you think, emotions build inside you. It feels like pressure behind your skull threatening to pop. Tears abruptly start gushing down your face as you grab your shirt and rush out of the door. You canât stop the ugly noises from leaving you as you rush home in the cold night air.Â
By the time youâre in your own bed, your face and head hurt from the intensity of your sobs. There are no tears left as you continue to sob. It didnât work. You were supposed to use him as an opportunity to take away some stress but somehow itâs worse. Thereâs nothing you can do. Youâll just have to live with this alone. Forever.
CRACK
âđïžâ
âI was so close but I didnât make it.â Jiwon sighs dejectedly.Â
âI donât know what they donât see in you! I think youâre a great performer.â Kai laments.
âYou did a great job.â Beomgyu rubs her hand and she instantly smiles.Â
âThanks. And at the end of the day I still have my group and you guys.â Everyone gushes at her response.Â
Beomgyuâs mind wanders to the place it has been going frequently these days. He wonders what youâre doing. What it would be like if you were still friends with the members. If he didnât make you cry. Would you be smiling as widely as Jiwon is even after failing?
âLook whoâs lost in thought again.â Soobin pats Beomgyuâs back but heâs stuck. Heâs nestled deep within thoughts of you.
âYou know you could talk to us about anything, right?â Jiwon moves her hand to caress his. No. He doesnât know this. In fact, he knows itâs not true.
âWhy do you think she was crying that day?â Beomgyu doesnât look up but the table goes quiet. The tension is lathered thick over the air. Jiwon laughs nervously.
âWait, Beomgyu werenât you just talking aboutââ Jiwon attempts to change the topic.
âYou would think sheâd be really happy right now.â He continues.Â
âLetâs not talk about thisââ Jiwon tries but Beomgyu turns toward her.
âDidnât you say I could talk to you guys about anything?â
âBut Beomgyu⊠talking about her is only going to make you more upset.â Jiwon lowers her voice, going back to how cautious she was when they first met.
âDo I look upset? You guys are the ones acting like thereâs a gun to your heads when sheâs brought up.â Beomgyu resumes eating while everyone else is still frozen.
âGyu. Itâs because you should let go of her. Itâll be better for you.â Her hand that was once soothing on his now felt like an owner trying to calm their dog after someone knocked on the door.Â
âYou donât know whatâs better for me.â Beomgyu grumbles.
Soobin stands abruptly. âBeomgyu, can we talk in the kitchen?â
âGladly.â Beomgyu immediately follows the taller male out the dining room and down the hall. Before Soobin could start scolding him he had things to get off his chest first.
âWhy did you introduce me to her in the first place?â
âShe asked to meet you. She was interested.â Soobin expresses annoyedly.
âIâm sure plenty of girls have done that, why did you decide to do so for her.â Beomgyu probes.
âBecause I knew her and trusted her.â
âTrusted her to be able to handle a project.â Beomgyu rushes out. And before Soobin can deny anything heâs rushing toward him with a finger pointed at his face. âI donât need to be fixed.â
Soobin sighs, uneasy about how this conversation may go.Â
âYouâre not broken, youâre hurt. Everyone gets hurt, Beomgyu. Thereâs nothing wrong with accepting help. Weâre just trying to help you move on-â
âI donât want to move on! You guys were so fucking anal about how I treated her and now you just pretend she doesnât exist?â Beomgyu shouts furiously.
Soobin decides itâs better to just rip off the bandaid. There's no changing the truth.Â
âSheâs gone. Itâs been half a year and sheâs made no attempt to reach out to any of us. Itâs clear that part of our lives is over. Beomgyu, you need to focus on yourself right now. We can get through this together.â Soobin tries to coax a reasonable reaction out of Beomgyu but it doesnât seem to be working. Heâs only getting more worked up.
âStop. Stop.â Beomgyu shoves his hands into his hair before gritting his teeth. âIâm so sick of everyone shoving me under a telescope. At least she never pried.â
âAre you insinuating that what you guys had was anything remotely healthy? Continuously hanging around someone who you despise that much isnât good for either of you. I saw the marks all over her body.â
Beomgyu sees red, heâs grabbing Soobinâs collar before he could think it through.
âYou shut your fucking mouth. You donât know what youâre talking about. You donât know her like I do.â Beomgyu shoves him away, his glare hot like lava as he walks out of the room. Heading toward his bedroom he doesnât see Jiwon on the other side of the doorway. She bites her fist as a tear trickles down her cheek.Â
âWhenâs Beomgyu coming over next?â Mao asks, switching to kneel on the couch toward a stone faced Jiwon. Jiwon takes in a quick breath, checking one last time if this is the right move.
âI donât think he is.â
Mao and the other girls in the room all make a noise in surprise and crowd around Jiwon on the couch. âWhat the hell happened?â Haeyoon asked incredulously.
Jiwon lets out a small derisive laugh to pair with a tiny smirk as she drops her head. âHeâs hung up over his ex.â
The girls all switch between comforting her and cursing him.Â
âWhoâs the ex?â Chaerin asks angrily.
Jiwon thinks on it again. Fuck it.
âDo you know that song Strawberry Jam?â
âđïžâ
Something is unresolved. That much is clear as you both lay in your own rooms, tear stains on each of your pillows. And as long as it stays unresolved, you both will be unable to be loved.Â
Youâve denied four invitations to hang out with Chaewon, and youâre surprised she still asks. This month is a free schedule for you to rest after your song promotions are over.
Beomgyu either plays video games until his eyes are dry or lies in bed scrolling through social media. His members pop in to give him food.
Your stomach twists painfully as you watch tv in bed. The colors dance around blurrily as your eyes start to water again.
A month didnât feel like a month, but you lost track of your days so it makes sense when your manager comes into your room.Â
âWhatâs that smell? Get up and take a shower. Weâre going to go over this monthâs schedule.â She shuts the door, trusting that youâll follow orders. Even she used to be kinder to you. Whatâs the use of attempting to start relationships when they donât work out. Even your own parents donât talk to you anymore. You laugh hoarsely. The laughing grows louder and louder until youâre cackling.
You cackle in the shower as well. Is this what happens after youâve cried so much tears donât come out anymore?
Beomgyu regretted chasing away Jiwon the minute he did it. She had a similar hurt expression to you when he yelled at her to get out of his room. Look at how each of his relationships ended. Why the hell would Hyesoo stay with a guy like him. Beomgyuâs lip quivers before heâs crying into his pillow again.
You both carry out whatâs scheduled for you numbly, so checked out neither of you can add anything valuable to any conversation.Â
âRemember how you signed up to be an MC? Well you got accepted! You can continue submitting songs for your next comeback but this should be your priority for now.â One of the women at the table inform you. Fuck, you did do that, didnât you.
It turns out itâs pretty easy. Just smile and read your lines. Itâs much easier to turn your MC switch on, it seems. You had even gotten comfortable with it. Your co-MC is friendly. Formal, but friendly. Everything was working out.
You lift up your cue card in the silence of your empty room.
âAnd hereâs TXT with their new comeback...â Your enthusiasm wanes when you think about standing in a room with him again.
CRACK
Itâll be fine, just flip the switch.
You can feel that heâs there, everyone can feel the tension. The you that was involved with him is switched off right now. Right now youâre conducting an interview.Â
Beomgyu slowly fades to the background as you watch the other members, remembering the good memories you had together. Soobin does most of the talking which makes your chest unwittingly constrict. After this youâll be all alone again.
The makeup artist finally gets done touching up your makeup and you get a moment to stew. Only a short moment as the other MC approaches.Â
âHey, are you okay?âÂ
The simple question forces your switch off. The two of you made eye contact at the end of the interview, and for some reason a whirlwind of emotions threatened to escape you. Youâre not okay.
âItâs just, I know you have a past with Beomgyu.â
âYeahââ You look up at him as your brain fog slowly dissipates. âWhat did you say?â
âI heard that you wrote Strawberry Jam about him and IâŠâ
Everything silently shatters, the pieces remaining all clattering to the floor.
âLook at the back of her neck.â You whip your head around to see two idols whispering before looking shocked and scurrying away. You send a shaky hand to the back of your neck to cover it. Doing so makes your sleeve drop and reveal scratches on your arm. You begin hyperventilating as you scan your surroundings. Multiple people, staff, idols, everybody is whispering and looking at you. You block out the other MC yelling after you as you run out of the room.
Was it Myungsoo? Was he retaliating because you left him? You never mentioned Beomgyu though. No⊠it could only be one person. Tears stream down your face as you hunt for their dressing room. You pass a mirror on the way and get stuck staring at your void of a face. Only a pair of reddened, crazed eyes stare back. You refocus on your hunt and finally find their door. You swing it open and rush toward Beomgyu in a frenzy.
As you enter, everything around Beomgyu is a blur. The staff looking shocked, Yeonjun and Soobin jumping up to restrain you. And you. Your makeup is completely ruined with a look of utter fury on your face as you cock your hand back before striking him across the face. Time goes back to normal as the staff gasp. Beomgyu places a hand over his stinging flesh. It prickles, burning through his numbness. The initial impact of the slap was like a crack of lightning striking him. He feels a blur of emotions threatening to pour out.
âWhy the fuck would you do that?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!â Yeonjun and Soobin had successfully restrained you but you thrash to get free. You curse and swipe at Beomgyu, yelling incoherently. Beomgyu slowly stands up and approaches you. Taehyun has to join and hold each arm when Beomgyu is in reaching distance.
âLet me go!â You shriek like a raging animal, trying to rip yourself free. You kick at him, your heels striking his shins and sending a piercing bout of pain up his legs.
âWhat the fuck are you doing?! Get away from her!â Soobin yells.
âLet her go.â Beomgyu yells over the commotion.
âWhat?! Why wouldââ Yeonjun starts but Soobin lets go.
âJust do it. Let him have her.â Soobin spits, scowling at the younger male whose eyes are still trained on you. Taehyun and Yeonjun let you go and you immediately slap him again.
âYou just couldnât help trying to ruin my career again? Do you really hate me that much after I gave you what you wanted?â You whisper shakily, your eyes wild as they take him in.
âBeomgyu⊠what did you do?â Kaiâs voice is weak behind him.
Beomgyu takes your arm and pulls you out of the room. You yell for him to let you go and strike his arm. Each hit is like a jolt of clarity for Beomgyu, the pain an afterthought. He pulls you into an empty room where you begin banging your fists against his chest. He stumbles backward, slamming against the door and shutting it.Â
He restrains your arms, squeezing them to keep them steady as you thrash again. âWhy?! What else do you want?!â
âWhat did I do, he asked.â Beomgyu laughed. He throws his head against the door and laughs harder. You look on in utter disbelief.
âIs this funny to you?â
âWhatâs funny is that I didnât do anything and somehow shit has still hit the fan. My members are questioning me again, youâre fucking hitting me again.â The amusement Beomgyu was expressing earlier is completely gone as he starts his rant.
âYou told everyone that my song was about us!âÂ
âI didnât!â He shouts back.
âThen who did Beomgyu?!â
âIâm not the only person who knew about us.â Beomgyu yanks you closer by your arms. You finally manage to free your arms and you drive a finger into his chest.
âBut you are the only person who has proven to be malicious enough to do something like this.â
âHow do you know itâs not one of your friends? Youâre all big and famous now, maybe you shouldnât go around telling anyone your secrets.â
âI donât have any friends anymore, Beomgyu!â You shout, your voice cracking as a lone tear rolls down your cheek. âRemember? You drove me away from my only friends. I didnât go âwhoring around Enhypenâ. I have no one.â The last of the sentence shreds your throat. You run your hands over your face before pointing at him again. âIâm going through enough and you choose to fuck with me. This is all I have Beomgyu!â You pound both your fists against his chest and again youâre moving in slow motion. He can see it in your eyes. In how hard you clench your teeth. He can feel it each time you strike him.
âWhy would you do it?â You sob.
âSlap me.â
You gape at him, chest rising and falling violently as you make up for the amount of air you lost.Â
Beomgyu is the one getting riled up now. âDo it. Slap me. Fucking do itââ
You strike him hard enough that the corner of his mouth splits.Â
âDo it again.â
Your hand is impacting his cheek as soon as his sentence ends.Â
âAgain.â
Youâre both breathing frantically as you slap him again and another time before he can even ask. He grabs your forearm and yanks you closer. âDo it. I know what you want. Fucking ruin me.â
You grab his face and pull his mouth to smash against yours. He lifts you up and you immediately wrap your legs around him. The taste of his tongue, his blood, it lights you up. All your emotions come flooding out as you grip his shirt and tear it apart. Your noses bump harshly against each other as he repositions you against the wall.
You can barely act on your urges with how intense Beomgyuâs actions are. Every ounce of passion you exude is given back to you tenfold. Within moments of letting you down you are both bare for each other.
Beomgyuâs skin being exposed is perfect for your nails dying to sink into it. You reach your arms under his that cage against the wall and slowly rake your fingernails down his back. He winces, letting out small noises of pain. The anger and sadness inside you has hit its peak. Youâre so fucking angry, but the pained look on his face hurts.
You want to do something about your anger, but you still retract your hands and sink against the wall. Beomgyu looks at you confused before drawing closer. You shy away from him, whimpering as the bitter truth sets in.
Beomgyu didnât force you to stop talking to Soobin. Beomgyu didnât force you to ghost your friends. Beomgyu isnât the cause of your loneliness.Â
Itâs you.
He reaches out to touch you but you push him away. His saddened eyes make you ache which in turn makes you more angry. But you can no longer bring yourself to hit him. A surge of rage sends your own hand across your face. The sting is distracting, itâs something. You strike your other cheek harder and Beomgyu stops you before you can do it again.Â
âNo.â He takes your hand and pulls it near his face. Your eyes follow your hand as it closes in on him.Â
âHit me.â
Your eyes move slowly towards his lips as they form the words, then up to his dark, big eyes. Theyâre swarming with depth and emotion. You take in his entire face, reddened by your hand. Lips swollen from your mouth. Hair tousled in the chaos. You see him.
You thought tears would be a rare occurrence by now, but there goes another, skitting from your cheekbone to the floor. You smile bitterly.
âI canât.â
The gleam of your tears brings life to your otherwise tired eyes. He wants to question why, to wallow in self pity with his own delusional reasoning. But no, in your face is all the answers he needs. The same reason he hasnât hurt you once this entire time. You sigh, letting your head fall, your eyes darkening as they close.
âI donât know what else to do.â You express weakly.
Seeing you tremble silently makes his previous attempts to pin his resentment on you seem absurd. Beomgyu lets go of your hand.
âI donât either.â
Itâs like clarity washes over the both of you at the same time as you both take in your surroundings. Assess the situation. You shake your head.
âThen what are we doing here?â You brush past him in pursuit of your clothing, pick up each article scattered around the room.Â
âItâs just like we said. We donât know what else to do.â He says behind you.
You slow your collection as you let his words sink in. Youâve exhausted every other option. Therapy, rough sex, songwriting, diaries, crying. Then you feel his warmth behind you. Your eyes ease closed as you melt into him. Your mind goes blank and for the first time in a long time, itâs not out of force or sheer exhaustion. Both of you relax into one another. Youâd have to go out eventually, explain yourself and face scrutiny. Risk peopleâs opinions of you degrading. Thereâs nothing to worry about here. Youâve already seen the worst of each other. Thereâs nothing to guard in fear.
You turn around to face him. He looks different. Softer. Unintimidating. He could say the same for you. You climb on top of him, shivering as his member brushes against your mound. Your lips meld together like softening butter. They glide, becoming slick with the otherâs saliva.Â
He glides his nose up the side of your face as he slips inside you. Both of your mouths hang agape as he slots all the way in. Heâs buried deep inside you, no space left unfilled. The two of you substitute kissing for pressing your heads together, feeling every part of the other's skin. You trail your tongue across his jaw before kissing up to his ear. Every sense is filled with Beomgyu to the point where you canât think of anything else. His makeup, his cologne, his body wash, his deodorant, his lotion, his taste, his touch, him, him, him. Your heart swells as he showers you with as much attention as you give him and then some.
Your hips move in unison, grinding together. Once you kiss again thereâs no longer any space in between. Disconnecting sends slighter louder pants and moans into the air as you both start moving faster. Youâve never heard him moan like this. Itâs so unrestrained and vulnerable, exposing his eagerness just as much as his hands squeezing your ass does.Â
You find you feel full in more ways than one right now. He saw you at your ugliest and heâs still here right now holding you like he never plans to let go. As if reading your thoughts, he clutches you even closer. You feel a light, bubbly laugh float from your chest as your legs start to tingle. You gasp as you climax with a stutter of your hips. Your movements slow âtil theyâve almost ceased as you drowsily rest your forehead on his. The two of you rock back and forth in the only clean circle of the room amongst the chaos.
A moment of serenity is all the two of you are granted when you hear a knock at the door. Soobin comes in, looking disappointed as he regards you both.
âAre you done? Everyoneâs looking for you.â
âđïžâ
Beomgyu got an earful for disappearing that day. You couldâve gotten into an ungodly amount of trouble if the other MC didnât stick up for you. He felt responsible and was beyond apologetic. You forgave him, of course. He did nothing wrong. Also, you've come to terms with the fact that you know you have nothing to do with that song. It's someone else's demo you got paid to perform. It doesn't define you.
âHey, are you coming?â Chaewon asks. You go to answer but notice a couple of conflicted looks from her members. A quick thought that you âbetter not annoy themâ crosses your mind. You imagine tagging along and making things awkward and it makes you wince.
âNo, I-â
âCome on.â Yunjin says dismissively and pulls you by the arm to follow them to their next location.Â
You sit stiffly on the couch, clapping along to Eunchaeâs loud singing as everyone around you cheers.
She concludes with two bows and a loud âthank youâ into the microphone.Â
âGo ahead and pick whoâs next.â Yunjin yells gleefully. Youâre too distracted to realize Yunjinâs hand is hovering over you with her finger extended down.
âHmmâŠâ Eunchae pretends to think about it for a comically short amount of time before yelling out your name. Your confusion is cut short by a cheering Yunjin and Chaewon pushing you toward the screen. She hands you the mic which you take hesitantly. Once they're seated again they initiate a chant.
âSing! Sing! Sing! Sing!â
Your brain does the honors of going over all of the embarrassing ways this could play out. Regardless of that, youâre already singing. Itâs either that or running out the door, and the latter would take much more effort and explaining. Besides, whatâs the worst that could happen?
You finish to cheers and applause and you bow in response.
âđïžâ
Things in the dorm have gone back to being tense. Soobin isnât giving Beomgyu the silent treatment this time, but itâs clear heâs disappointed. Everyone is under the impression that they hooked up again only to go back to hating each other. Mostly because you havenât come over yet. Beomgyu was giving it some time, but now heâs ready.
âStop acting weird.â He sighs, rubbing his nose bridge. âI did have sex with her. No, the song isnât about me. We donât hate each other. You guys can stop tiptoeing around me now.â
The members visibly untense, but only to express confusion.
âWhere is she then?â Soobin speaks up, casting a stern look his way.
âWhy does her being here matter?â Beomgyu finally gets to ask.
âRemember when you called me naive for having faith in her?â Soobin grits his teeth. âAfter all that sheâs still-â
You cautiously click open the door, slowly revealing your apologetic expression. âI was going to wait but I didnâtâŠâ You stop when you see the hardened look on Soobinâs face upon seeing you. âH-hello everyone.â
Kai stands up and marches over to give you a crushing hug. The gesture makes your heart flutter.
âYou didnât even call.â He pouts.
âIâm sorry.â You squeeze out. Taehyun and Yeonjun come next. Taehyun gives you a side hug while Yeonjun pats your back.
âWelcome back.â Yeonjun says with a wide smile.
The moment is interrupted by Soobin walking out of the living room into his own and slamming the door. You immediately follow after him, an action that Beomgyu watches carefully. Of course he notices a sharp pain in his chest, but he sits with it. Studies it. You could be chasing after him to reveal your true feelings and this time he may accept. He doesnât want that. It even makes him a little bitter, but he canât stop you. He can say whatever ugly words come to his mind to try and scare you away, but this time they may not work. And youâre not doing anything wrong. Him cuddling with you and drifting off to sleep in your bed doesnât mean youâre dating. Moreover, youâre not Hyesoo. Heâs seen every part of you by now. Regardless of everything, heâll still be happy to have you in his life.
âYou have sex with me and then never show your face again? Do you know how that feels?â Soobin explains desperately with tears springing to his eyes. âI knew the sex was meaningless, that was the whole point, but for you to up and leave afterward like I was just some random guy really sucks.â
âI-I didnât want to leave, Soobin. I was too mortified to show my face again.â
âBecause thatâs what you guys being together does! You break down each other and then turn to breaking down those around you just trying to help. Itâs selfish for you to waltz back in here like everything is back to normal.â
âItâs not.â You state confidently. âEverything is very, very different now. I canât go into public spaces without being recognized, I have more people around me than ever before, and Beomgyu and I donât hate each other anymore. You said it yourself, weâre similar and we wreck everything around us. We do it to ourselves. Beomgyu realizes it now and I certainly do. I donât want things to go back to normal, because that version of me is gone.â The more you speak, the easier the words come. You smile hopefully at Soobin.
âIâm moving on with or without you, but Iâd really love it if you entered this new chapter with me.â
You grab both of Soobinâs hands as his head droops. Heâs silent for what feels like decades passing you by. Then he squeezes your hands.
Epilogue đïžâ
Chaewon: you should apologize.
You pass the phone to Beomgyu in the midst of his âadviceâ. He crosses one arm over his chest as he reads the very short text for an inappropriate amount of time.
âBut you didnât know, right?â
âThat doesnât mean Iâm not in the wrong.â You groan, snatching your phone back. He snatches it right back and starts texting.Â
âHey!â You go to take your phone back but he leans away further and further until his body is caging the phone against the couch. You climb over him and bite his shoulder but he just laughs as the text is sent. You frantically snatch your phone back and look in horror.
You: tomorrow at my house 6pm;â2[21
âWhat the fuck! Beomgyu!â You shriek.
âYou didnât know, therefore you didnât intentionally do anything wrong. But you did hurt Kazuhaâs feelings and the members are very mad at you.â He explains calmly, smacking on his food.Â
âThanks for reminding me of my unfortunate situation.â You deadpan.
âYou were worried they think you're a horrible person. Boomââ He motions at your phone with his sandwich. âYou can fix that. Youâre worried youâre actually a horrible person, but you had no intentions of hurting anyone.â
âYeah but you werenât there. The way I said it was so insensitive in context and the look on Zuhaâs face,â You whimper and hide your face in your hands.
âYou didnât hurt her on purpose.â The finality in Beomgyuâs voice makes you look up at him. His face is serious. âIâm certain of it. Now come here.â He pats his lap and youâre eagerly scooting over to lay your head on his lap. He sighs.
âYou idiot.â He brushes away the tear falling down your face. âWhy donât you listen to me?â
âHurting someone as sweet as her is pure evil.â You whisper.
âI donât have to know you to say that an evil person wouldnât be this remorseful. But knowing you, youâre not the type of person to go into an exchange ready to hurt an innocent person. Youâre the type of person who sits quietly thinking about what you could say that will make people laugh the loudest and smile the brightest. Iâm very sure thatâs what you were thinking that day as well.â He voices his thoughts as he strokes your hair, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He looks down to meet your gaze and you feel the singe of a fire starting in your heart. He smiles lazily and it's the cherry on top of the artwork that is his face.Â
You slowly lean up before capturing his lips. Itâs slow, tender, loaded. Kissing him after all the chaos feels like lying in a field of dandelions, the seed breaking away and dancing in the wind. His skin feels like the warm hug of sunlight. His voice is like birds singing. You pull away and look at him in awe. He seems to be mirroring your feelings if his drunken expression is anything to go by. He shuts his mouth and brushes the back of his hand against your cheek.
âYouâre kissing me outside of us having sex?â Beomgyu sports exaggerated shock and presses his palm to your forehead. His antics force a giggle out of you. âAre you sick?!â
You swipe his hand away, unable to ignore the burning light in your chest as you look at him and he silently looks back. You lean in and kiss him one last time before risking it all once you realize what this feeling is.
âI think I love you.â You whisper, looking desperately at his face to catch anything unsavory. His smile drops, looking genuinely shocked this time. He grabs your face and pecks your lips over and over before moving to the other parts of your face until you're stuck in a fit of laughter. He pulls away with adoration in his eyes.
âI loved you first.â
#choi beomgyu smut#beomgyu smut#txt smut#op#op you have no idea how much i lost my mind when you posted this#i have been waiting for this as soon as you mentioned a part 3 and holy shit was it worth the wait#this is arguably my favourite beomgyu fic. it's atleast top 3 for me#i just finished reading it and took a break because it was a lot (in a good way) so please excuse the disjointed thoughts lmao#first of all we love a dark fic#i love how much emphasis and weight you gave to both reader and beomgyu's flaws#and just their worst parts and how they feed into each other but also were the only people who really understand one another#my heart was straight up racing during the party scene the way you paralleled them having sex with different people was so well done#as well as their inner dialogues ugghhhh you did such a great job#reader barely holding it together and feeling desperate for any ounce of affection to help with her crippling loneliness? relatable#maybe too relatable#i forgot the guy's name but the guy op started seeing was so gross#way grosser than beomgyu which is saying something since beomgyu and reader were out here assaulting each other lol#i mentally clapped when she ran out of his place#he made my skin crawl so much fucking ew#the scene of them reconnecting uhggghhhhh so many feelings#it would start with a slap for them wouldn't it lmao#i also think it's interesting juxtapositining them in that scene vs them in the previous parts#because of how much more unravelled reader is vs how much calmer beomgyu comes across#also him choosing not to attack her back#we love growth#despite how messy and fucked up it was lol#reunion sex really does something to me#especially because I'm so invested in this dynamic and couple#also when people realise they're in love with each other?????? sustains me.#thank you so much for not giving up on this series. it really has been a great read and one of my favourites amongst txt fics
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A/n wrote this at 5am so I apologize for any errors! <3 also it's poorly written but I hope you guys still like it.
Yk what fucking drives me crazy the most?
Sweet innocent looking men that treats you so well, I'm talking like he writes you cute poems, follows you around everywhere like a lost puppy and gets all flustered and shy when you want to go to Victoria secret to get new bras and panties but he still goes in with you anyways with his hand clinging onto your arm instead of just leaving because anything for you!!. The way his face melts into your hand whenever you'd cup his cheeks, looking at you with those innocent puppy dog eyes then he places a gentle kiss on your hand. Like he's just such a cutie you know? He'd let you do his makeup and let you baby him and feed him. Literally just anything you want he'd do it and lets you do. Whatever makes you happy.
And that same sweet innocent guy would have you against the wall, his strong arms holding you up, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs as he slams his hips against you, each thrust pushing you higher and higher against the wall as he let you drop back down on his fat cock after, and he's even noisier than you are, loud whimpers and groans escaping his lips as he stares at your face, feeling satisfied and happy that his thick cock is the reason for your cute fucked out expression and sweet moans that are like music to his ears. Your nails leaving long red marks on his shoulders and back that he's sooo proud of having, he loves it when you do that, it's like a reward to him for making you feel good. His big strong arms pressing your legs back even further up so your knees raised up by your shoulders, giving him a deeper angle as his cock brushed against the right spots inside you that made you see stars to the point where you can't even think straight.
"O-oh fuck! baby, need you to cum ple-ase, fuck! please, wanna see you make a mess on my cock please I'm begging you princess", his voice cracks as he whimpers it out to you. The sweet and innocent needy tone in his voice compared to his rough pounding like he fucking hates you and had to prove it was all it took for you to cream around him, nails digging deeply into his back as he's practically making out with your neck, kissing and sucking on the tender flesh, leaving a bunch of purple and red marks that's definitely going to make him all fluttered and shy when he sees them in a few hours, remembering about what happened earlier. His eyes rolling back when he feels you coating his cock with your cream and dripping all over him.
"Ngh! Oh fuck, Tha-nk you! Thank you so much, gon-na cum!". He cries out. Your toes curling as he sped up his pace, hammering his cock in a reckless pace into your poor cunt, his thick cock head kissing your cervix with each one of his deep thrusts as he greedily chases his orgasm. He made sure to have his cock so deep inside of you to the hilt so he can fill you up full of his cum as he painted your tight walls white, thick ropes of cum spurting out of his cock, stuffing your hungry cunt full as he lets out a shaky groan while planting his face in your neck. He starts breathing heavily, panting against your neck as you felt his cock twitching inside of you. And you know what? He slowly pulls it out of you, being sooo careful that he doesn't spill any cum as he grips on your thighs even tighter before getting on his knees and eating all of his cum out of your filthy stuffed cunt like the good boy he is, after all its his mess and well, yours also but he doesn't mind! he just wants to make it easier for you to clean you know? :(
Choso, Izuku, Armin,Yuuta, Zentisu, Kirishima, Yuuji, Kaneki, Toge.
#Jujutsu kaisen#Choso kamo#choso smut#choso x reader#yuuji itadori#jujutsu kaisen yuuji#yuuji smut#yuuji x reader#itadori smut#izuku midoriya#izuku smut#deku x reader#deku smut#my hero acedamia#kirishima eijirou#kirishima smut#eijirou x reader#attack on titan#armin x reader#armin smut#armin arlert#demom slayer#zenitsu smut#zenitsu agatsuma#zenitsu x reader#tokyo ghoul#kaneki ken#kaneki smut#kaneki x reader#toge x reader
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18+ minors dni
1,000 follower celebration!! I love u all wow. thank you for all your support, truly. be warned, this is long. enjoy đ«
warnings: nsfw alphabet for dick grayson and jason todd, so thereâs a variety of things under the cut. please proceed with caution đ©·
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A | Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
jason is very different after sex. itâs a major act of trust for him, so when itâs done, all he really wants is to be close to you. in other words: heâs a big cuddler. heâll mumble some things into your skin as you run your fingers through his hair, and after, you usually end up ordering enough food to feed a small family, because that man can eat.
dick is a loverboy at heart. once the dust has settled and youâre both down from your highs, heâs doting on youâbringing you water, a snack, cleaning you up with a damp clothâwith doe eyes and a big old grin. always invites you to have a shower with him afterwards, and you always say yes, because his shoulder rubs are divine.
B | Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
unsurprisingly, jason has someâŠissues with his body from all the shit itâs been through. that being said, I think he intentionally trains his back and shoulders the most. itâs what makes him look as huge as he does. as for his favourite thing about you, jason todd is an ass man, argue with the wall. he likes something he can grab. hard.
dick grayson knows his ass is fat. heâs not shy about it. but his favourite body part is actually his arms, and how muscular theyâve become over the years. as for you, he loves your hips. they trigger something primal in him; the second you put on a fitted dress, heâs thinking about giving you his children.
C | Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
jason gets nasty. heâll cum anywhere on your body just for the obscene sight, but he especially loves to cum in your mouth when heâs feeling that extra bit dominant. he doesnât care if you spit or swallow, it turns him on either wayâbut, god, heâs proud when you open your mouth to show him itâs all gone.
letâs cut to the chase. dick wants to cum inside you over and over again. he hardly even contemplates doing it anywhere else; that man wants to fill you up and watch you drip. maybe itâs his out-of-control breeding kink, maybe itâs how intimate it feelsâwhatever the case may be, rest assured dick grayson loves a creampie.
D | Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
voyeurism. jason likes to watch. it happened accidentally once when he walked in on you practicing some self-care, and heâs thought about it ever since. he enjoys the performance aspect of it; itâs a power play, watching you get yourself off, knowing heâs right there but refusing to help you.
this ties in with Q, but dick borders on exhibitionism sometimes. fucking you in his car, in the bathroom at a charity event, or in a changing roomâanywhere you might get caught, reallyâgod, it gets him going. itâs the daredevil in him, constantly yearning to test the limits of what he can do.
E | Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?)
I think jason had very limited to no experience before his death, and most of what knows today he learned by being with you. ever the fast learner, though, he sure as shit knows what heâs doing now. I think heâs very in-tune with your body and his needs, and it shows in the way he fucks you.
we have to face facts here. dick definitely got around before committing to a serious relationship. despite that, I think he knows what heâs doing thanks to his impeccable observational skills; sometimes you think he knows your body better than you do (but donât tell him that; it goes straight to his head).
F | Favorite position (this goes without saying)
jason is a sucker for good old-fashioned doggy style, of course, but fuck, does he adore the prone bone position. trapping you under his body, hitting you deep with each thrust, and he gets to watch your ass jiggle at every movement? it borders on religious ecstasy for him.
dick goes feralâferalâfor the mating press position. itâs erotic, carnal, and raw, and thatâs exactly what he wants when heâs fucking you. heâs also partial to cowgirl, especially when he can tell you want to take control. the view it offers him is enough to have him whining underneath you for more.
G | Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
jason is more on the serious side; sex with him, intense as it may be, is still a big act of vulnerability on his part, so he doesnât treat it lightly. he will, however, crack a warm smile on those occasions when you make love in the small hours of the morning, when he thinks you canât see his face clearly.
dick is a tease, and sex with him is fun. he likes to flirt with you while he bends you into compromising positions, and he gets very cocky when you cum. he canât help but make little quips after the fact, either; âsomething wrong with your leg, baby?â as your limbs twitch and tremble from your orgasm. jerk.
H | Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
in keeping with his rugged exterior, jason is only doing what he needs to in order to keep things manageable and convenient. he is not dedicating hours to manscaping. much to your elation, that means he keeps his happy trail intact.
dick is a little more meticulous in his grooming, being the âpretty boyâ that he is. he prefers keeping himself neatly trimmed, partly to ensure more comfort in his nightwing suitâheâs learned the hard way that the pornstar look is a one-way ticket to chafing when youâre jumping off of buildings.
I | Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
jason really restrains himself from being outwardly intimate. he finds it hard to be that vulnerable, and while he loves the passion between you when you fuck, heâs only really able to tap into the romantic aspect if heâs wholly at ease. thatâs not to say it never happens! it definitely does, just give him time.
he may be cocky and unserious when heâs fucking you, but sex with dick is always very openly intimate. he sees the beauty and romance in what you do together, and itâs truly special to him that he gets to witness you like this. sex is absolutely one of the ways he expresses his love and admiration for you.
J | Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
jason only really masturbates when heâs away from you on a mission, and needs to take the edge off. itâs less interesting without you, so he wants it done quick. he imagines you touching yourself as he does itâlegs wide and eyes hazyâand that gets him to his peak extremely efficiently.
dick likes to edge himself. I said what I said. heâs thinking about how heâd much rather save his load for your pretty cunt, so heâs bucking his hips and screwing his eyes shut as he forces himself to stop right before his climax, reminding himself how good itâll feel when he gets to fill you up.
K | Kink (one or more of their kinks)
overstimulation is jasonâs go-to; he gets off on dragging orgasm after orgasm out of you until youâre hardly able to speak. he also loves forced eye contact, especially when you can barely keep your eyes open. oh, and he has a massive size kink. when youâre as huge as he is, everyone is small by comparison, and he likes how big you make him feel.
say it with me. dick grayson has a breeding kink. the visual aspect of cumming inside you is enough to drive him crazy, but the thought of getting you pregnantâŠnow that makes him rabid. face-sitting is another big one; any variation of pussy-eating drives him wild, but having you sit on his face is his favourite way to do it.
L | Location (favorite places to do the do)
if youâre at home, anywhere is fair game to jason. heâs fucking you in the kitchen, in the bedroom, on the sofa, against the wall, in the officeâanywhere. outside of home, heâs more restrictive, but he has thought about fucking you in the batmobile on the many occasions heâs stolen it.
the bedroom is definitely dickâs favourite place to fuck you; aside from making things feel more romantic, he wants you to be comfortable as heâs bending you into crazy positions. he also loves a shower quickie and car sex, impractical though they may be. donât worry, heâs an acrobat. itâll work.
M | Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
is it crazy to say that jason gets turned on when you argue? because he does. a moderate disagreement where youâre getting huffy with him is a surefire way to get bent over the sofa. oh, and if he feels even a little jealousy creeping over him, youâre in for a ride. also, if you nestle into him during the night, youâll be contending with his hard cock pressed against your lower back until one of you caves.
dick is whipped. whatever youâre doing can get him going. cooking, reading, wearing his clothesâhe loves everything you do. but, heâs particularly turned on whenever you dress up for a special occasion. it can be a little inconvenient when youâre running late for an event and heâs groping you over your gown in the limo, but how can you refuse those blue eyes?
N | No (something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
jason would be very resistant to anything that puts him in a submissive role (this goes for ak!jason too). this includes both sex acts and the use of props/toys that take control away from him; heâs just not into it. heâd also refuse any kind of roleplay, saying itâs unnecessary. heâs a pragmatic guy.
I think dick would really dislike the idea of hurting you. heâs not opposed to spanking, and heâll even engage in some light breath play (ahem, headlock, anyone?), but he would never take it any further than that. if he bruised you through anything other than hickies, heâd be sick with guilt.
O | Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
it should come as no surprise that jason loves receiving head. there are few sights as enticing as watching you take his cock in your mouth while he instructs you to keep your eyes on him. heâs also very skilled in returning the favour, and his preference is eating you from the back so he can see your pretty ass move each time you squirm.
you know my stance on this. dick is a munch. heâs eating pussy like itâs his last meal before the end of the world, and heâs doing it for him. needless to say, heâs fucking good at it. receiving head is quite literally the last thing on his mind. that being said, when he does remember to let you reciprocate, all he can think about is how pretty you look while doing it.
P | Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
jason can get pretty rough, and he likes to fuck you hard, but he knows how much you can take. sex for him is partially an emotional release. but, heâs good at alternating between destroying you one day and being gentle the next; despite his tough facade, jay enjoys soft, passionate sex as muchâif not moreâthan you do.
dick is kind of a hedonist; once he starts feeling pleasure, he doesnât want it to endâespecially when you start feeling it too. heâs happy to give you fast and rough if itâs what you want, but his preference is sloppy, erotic fucking. the messier you get, the better. although, if heâs got you in a mating press, the roughness seeps back in quickly.
Q | Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
while heâll never say no to a quickie, jason prefers to take his time with you. once he starts, he finds it hard to stop, and he loves to see how much you can take from him before youâre spent. quickies are sporadic with him; he prefers to enjoy your body at his pace.
if he gets the chance to fuck youâhell, even just tease youâdick is going to take it. he loves the thrill and the sense of urgency that comes with quickies. whether itâs a hookup in his car or an impromptu blowjob when heâs supposed to be on patrol, his eyes are lighting up like itâs christmas.
R | Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
jason is not a risk-taker. he needs time to warm to any kind of experimentation, but heâs more likely to try things on you than on himself, like using light restraints on you or dabbling in sensory play. as long as he feels he has some control.
dick is a different story. heâs willing to try most things at least once, and heâs able to laugh it off if something goes south. heâs not opposed to switching (ha) things up and giving you the lead, either; he likes a woman in charge.
S | Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
maybe itâs his extensive training, maybe itâs just who he is; whatever the case may be, jason can go for a long time. but, itâs usually just one round that he draws out so he can really work you to your limit.
dick can handle multiple rounds if you give him time. his recovery consists of burying his face between your legs until heâs ready to go again, which doesnât take very long once you start convulsing against his tongue.
T | Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
jason wouldnât even think to use sex toys unless you brought it up, but heâd be open to using them on you if you asked. heâs quick to see the potential in your little pink vibrator when he holds it against your clit while he fucks you, noticing how much easier it is to overstimulate you this way.
ever the experimentalist, dick isnât opposed to trying out toys in the bedroom. in fact, heâs the one who would show up with fuzzy blue handcuffs (âI got them in my colour!â) to restrain your hands behind your back, so he can devour your cunt without interference from you.
U | Unfair (how much they like to tease)
heâd like to tease you more, but jason doesnât really have the restraint for it. as soon as youâre splayed out in front of him, he wants to take you. when he does tease, though, he likes to touch you everywhere but where you need him most, until youâre begging for him to make you feel good. then, he likes to make you regret itâover and over again.
dick is the worldâs biggest tease, and you can look that up. heâs got you grinding on his lap, making out with you until youâre panting, only to say he needs to do some work as he stands up with a smirk. and when he finally gets you naked, he makes you tell him what you need while his fingers hover over your aching pussy, never reaching you.
V | Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
jason isnât very loud at all, but the sounds he does make range from grunts and groans to the occasional low moan if you tug at the hair on the nape of his neck. heâs a big dirty talker, and he likes to get up in your ear to do it, so he knows youâre listening. he notices the way you shiver at his gravelly voice, and it drives him crazy.
dick is far less concerned about being quiet. heâs moaning, swearing, telling you how pretty you are, even occasionally whining, and heâs not worried about what your neighbours thinkâin fact, heâs making sure youâre just as vocal as he is, insisting you tell him how you feel. heâs also expressive when he cums, especially when he does it inside you.
W | Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I know this is controversial, but jason would never agree to a threesome. this man is possessive. the mere thought of seeing someone else touch you in front of him is enough to make him see red, so noâheâd end up committing murder (not that itâs a far leap for him on a good day).
dick has a thing for watching you work out, especially when youâre doing yoga in the living room in those skin-tight pants. watching the way your limbs elongate and contract as you bend and stretch does things to him, but he never interrupts; the images stay in his mind for those long missions.
X | X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
jason is a behemoth of a man all over. and I do mean all over. heâs packing. an easy 8 inches (slightly more), thick, with a slight upwards curve and a prominent vein from the base to the tipâwhich is a mauvy pink, by the way. youâre still shocked youâre able to take him, and he was too the first time.
âprettiest man alive also has a pretty cockâ would be dickâs headline. just over 6 inches, with enough girth to make you feel full, and a rosy pink tip that matches his lipsâŠyou could honestly just stare at it if heâd let you (and he probably would). he fits you like a glove every single time.
Y | Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
jasonâs sex drive is pretty consistent; itâs always simmering a little ways below the surface. heâs able to compartmentalise it when he has to, but sex doubles as a form of stress-relief for him, so it happensâŠoften.
dick has an incredibly high sex drive. like jason, he can reel it in when needed, but if it were up to him, youâd fuck every single day, twice even. I also truly believe that heâs regularly plagued by morning wood.
Z | Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
heâs going to make sure youâre comfortable and taken care of, but the truth is jason could probably pass out in your arms about 10 minutes after youâre done. take it as a sign of how safe he feels with you as heâs snoring softly into your neck.
heâs definitely tired after sex, but dick is waiting until he notices you dozing off before he closes his eyes. once heâs out, though, good luck waking him up again without an air horn. heâs going to need his full eight hours to recharge.
#1k followers ummm!#this one is a doozy#but itâs a celebration so who cares#dick grayson#dick grayson smut#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x you#nightwing#nightwing smut#nightwing x reader#nightwing x you#jason todd#jason todd smut#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#red hood#red hood smut#red hood x reader#red hood x you#dc comics#batman#batfam#martiniluvr#dc comics x reader#fem reader
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hii !! is it possible to request an ot13 reaction of svt reaction to you accidentally moaning when they suck your neck please ?
18+ / mdi
s/o accidentally moaning when they kiss at your neck
content: mention of hickeys/love bites, very suggestive, etc.
wc: 701
a/n: hi!! thank u for requesting!!
masterlist
seungcheol -
smirks into your neck as his teeth lightly knead at your skin, accompanying his love bites with light licks to alleviate any pain. hums into your skin in encouragement, murmuring at you to keep moaning his name for him, lips eventually going up to your ears to lightly pull at your love with his front teeth and whisper dirty nothings into your ear.
jeonghan -
knew his lips on your neck would have you whimpering, which was why he began kissing you there in the first place. would still get cocky about it and mutter things such as 'you like that?' or 'sound so pretty for me' into your neck with a smirk, ego growing twice its size at his effect on you.
joshua -
he'll moan into your neck just to rile you up even more. he feeds off your reactions to him, always teasing you about it in subtle ways by enticing you into giving him even more of a reaction. makes you feel slightly embarrassed but makes up for it by making you feel even better in comparison.
jun -
yet another member who moans back at you but he actually moans bc of how badly your sounds turn him on lol. breathes into your neck as his fingers dig into whichever part of you he's holding onto at the moment. encourages your moans by suckling even harder at you, licking into the bruises he leaves behind.
soonyoung -
he's so into it and so intense in the way he makes love to your neck, humming and growling(??) any time you make a noise for him. nuzzles into you in gratitude at how good and soft you are for him, taking a mental note of every sensitive spot on your neck.
wonwoo -
murmurs praise into your neck at how soft you feel against his lips and how good you are for him making such pretty sounds. slow in his movements as he takes his time kissing and licking at the parts of your neck that make you moan the most.
jihoon -
kisses at your neck in the way he likes his neck kissed at, completely in tune with your reactions seeing as his own are pretty similar. feeds off your moans and the effects they have on him. his cock would be insanely hard by the time he's done sucking at your neck.
seokmin -
have u seen him kiss at his members ... this is just a common occurrence between the two of you lol he's very used to kissing every part of you and knows which spots to kiss to get you moaning and whining for him. praises you constantly for how good and sweet you are for him, adoring every little noise you make for him.
mingyu -
so cocky about it lmao he knows his effect on you and loves it. sucks and kisses at your neck with such expertise it makes your knees tremble, which is something he also feeds off of. he needs to have you crying with just his lips, and he'll keep kissing you until he achieves it.
minghao -
your moans and whimpers do not interrupt his exploration of your neck, mapping out every favorite spot of his as he kisses and occasionally leaves a love bite to suckle more at later. hums into your neck in assurance any time you moan for him, enjoying how easily he could get such sounds out of you.
seungkwan -
with an intake of breath, he shudders at having such an effect on you with just his lips on your neck, continuing to kiss and suck at the spots he realized were most sensitive. all your sounds would go straight to his dick.
vernon -
somehow shocked at your reaction despite having kissed at your neck with that purpose in mind. would say something like 'shit, you like that? let me just-' and continue kissing at your neck to keep those sounds coming.
chan -
cutie is so cocky about your sounds, humming into your skin and egging you on to keep moaning for him. hands accompany his lips as he feels you up, doing everything in his power to make you breathe out his name in those pretty moans he loves.
#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen#seventeen oneshot#svt#seventeen smut#svt smut#svt oneshot#svt imagines#svt reactions#seventeen reaction
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PTPOM ââ paige bueckers x teammate!reader
â â summary: you put that pussy on paige⊠based off that amari live clip, iykyk
â â word count: 4.1K
â â warnings: smutttt (paige is a MUNCH, strap, spitting, etc)
â â links: my masterlist
â â authorâs note: yeah iâm ngl this was meant to be a pazzi fic but i wrote it and it just didnât feel like them at all so i changed it to an x reader. sorry yâall, pazzi stuff coming soon!
THE BUS RIDE is electric, the aroma of your teamâs win filling the vehicle. Music blares from Janaâs portable speaker, the bass rattling the floor beneath their feet. The whole team is hyped, celebrating a well-played game and a well-deserved win. You sit near the middle of the bus, in the window seat, while your teammate (and girlfriend), Paige, sits beside you, closer to the aisle.
KK is stood up a couple rows down, shouting the lyrics to the current song being played, dancing in her usual KK-Arnold-fashion. Amariâs closer to the back of the bus, entertaining a live that youâd talked to for a little while before growing bored and reclaiming your seat next to Paige.
The music shifts, and suddenly, PTPOM 2.0 is blaring through the speakers. The energy around you grows in a single millisecond, KK and Jana practically losing it, jumping up in their seats, hands in the air and grins on their faces. Paigeâs face alights in excitement, and she stands in her seat, clapping, before absolutely screaming in a way that youâre sure anyone within a mile radius can hear, âAY, PUT THAT PUSSY ON ME!â
You watch, wide-eyed and laughing, as Paige and the others get louder, bouncing and singing along to the lyrics, the bus shaking with energy, feeding off the chaoticness. You share a look with Azzi, whoâs also sitting and observing, that is equal parts disbelief and amusement.
âLetâs go! This the one!â Paige shouts before grinning down at you from where she stands beside you.
You shake your head a little bit, still laughing as you say, âYouâre so gay.â
She doesnât respond, just uses her hand to ruffle your hair a little bit as she sticks her tongue out. You let out another laugh, slapping her hand away and going to fix the ponytail that sheâs ruined as Paige returns to her singingâif you could even call it that.
Eventually, Paige, breathless from shouting and jumping, collapses back into her seat, still grinning from ear to ear. Her chest heaves with exhilaration, and she turns to you, her eyes gleaming.
Leaning in close, your girlfriendâs lips brush along the shell of your ear as she whispers, âCan you tonight? In the hotel?â
You feel a shiver run down your spine at the soft, teasing tone in Paigeâs voice. You tilt your head slightly, stomach fluttering, though trying to stay nonchalant.
âCan I what?â you ask, voice light but curiosity piqued.
Paigeâs smirk deepens, her breath warm against your ear as she murmurs suggestively, âPut that pussy on me?â
You pull away to look her in the eye, your own eyes widening, mouth agape. You slap Paige lightly on the arm, trying to keep your cheeks from turning red as you feel the blood begin to rush in them. You look around a little bit, hoping to God that none of your teammates hears Paigeâs words. When you see none of them looking at the two of you, your gaze returns to Paige and you say, half-disbelieving (though you really shouldnât considering she says things like this far too often), âYou did not just say that.â
Paige just grins, leaning back in her seat as she stretches her arms behind her head, completely unbothered. âWhat?â she asks, feigning innocence, her eyes sparkling with mischief. âIâm just asking a question.â
You just shake your head, biting your lip to hide your smile and doing your best to not let your face give away how flustered you really are. âEnough.â
âCome onnn,â Paige whines a little, leaning back in closer to you, one of her hand landing on your thigh, which she squeezes a little. âPlease, baby. I know you wanna.â
You shoot her a look, eyes flitting between her hand on your skin and her face. You roll your eyes, ignoring the fast-paced pitter-patter of your heart beating through your chest. âWeâll see.â
THE HOTEL ROOM door closes behind the two of you with a click. Paige tosses both of your duffel bags into the corner of the room as you, with an exaggerated groan of exhaustion, collapse face-first into one of the hotel beds. Your body sinks into the plush comforter, arms and legs sprawled out, as if the the exhaustion of the day and the game have finally caught up to you. Paige smiles a little bit at your dramatics, shaking her head.
âLong day?â she teases, kicking off her shoes as she makes her way over to the bed.
You let out a muffled sound of agreement, face still buried in the pillows. âSo long,â you mumble into the fabric. âIâm exhausted.â
Paige slides onto the bed beside you, hovering over you slightly as her hand instinctively finds its way to your hip, fingers curling around the soft material of your shirt. âYeah?â she asks, voice dropping to a lower tone. ââS too badâŠâ
You turn your head slightly, just enough to glance at your girlfriend through half-lidded eyes, a small smile playing on your lips. âI might have a little energy left,â you murmur up at her, eyes trailing to the blondeâs lips.
Paige grins, leaning down until your faces are just mere centimeters apart, the playful glint in her eyes now mixing with something else that makes your stomach tumble. âKnew youâd say that,â she whispers, smirking wider as her breath fans across your skin.
And then, without any hesitation, Paige closes the distance between you, her lips crashing against yours in a heated kiss. You welcome it eagerly, body reacting immediately to the familiar press of Paigeâs mouth, the weight of her presence beside you on the bed. Paigeâs hand slides from your hip to your waist, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss with a kind of urgency that neither of you had quite anticipated.
You let out a soft, content sigh against Paigeâs lips, your hand coming up to tangle in the blondeâs hair as you shift onto your back, pulling Paige on top of you. Paige takes the invitation eagerly, her body pressing yours into the bed as she kisses you harder, more insistently. Your lips move in perfect sync, the heat between you building rapidly as your surroundings seem to fade into the background.
Paigeâs kisses soon begin to stray, her lips trailing down your jaw and then to your neck, each press of her mouth leaving a trail of warmth in its wake. Your breath hitches slightly as Paige finds that particularly sensitive spot just below your ear, your hands gripping your girlfriendâs back a little tighter.
âPaige,â you whisper, voice breathy and full of need.
Paige doesnât respond with wordsâshe doesnât need to. Her hands slide under your shirt, pulling it over your head quickly, leaving you just in your sports bra. Her mouth returns to its spot on your neck, flicking her tongue out a little to taste the skin, while her fingers trail along your stomach, before landing at your bra, flicking at the fabric slightly. Your breath hitches once more as her hand reaches under the article of clothing, thumb brushing along your nipple slightly, before beginning to knead your breast.
Her kisses begin to trail even more, now sliding from your neck down to your collarbone, where she sucks with a ferventness that has your eyes fluttering closed, sighing at the feeling.
But before you can really relish in it, something else piques your attention. Paige is mutteringâhumming (?)âsomething against your skin between kisses, words that jumble together as your mind zooms in on the feeling of her hand on your breast, her body on top of yours, her lips on your skin. You focus more on her words, fluttering your eyes open, brows furrowing.
âPut that pussy on me,â she hums almost imperceptibly against your skin.
As you realize that sheâs singing that stupid song again, you canât help but let out a loud laugh and it bubbles through your chest. âPaige,â you say, voice full of amusement as you tug at her game-day ponytail. âQuit singing that.â
Paige pauses, pulling away just enough to look you in the eye, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. âOkay,â she says with a shrug, her tone far too innocent for the look in her eyes.
For a brief second, you think that maybe she actually will stop. But Paige, in true Paige fashion, has other plans. Instead of continuing the song, she takes the lyrics to heart.
Without another word, Paigeâs hands move with purpose, slipping down to your waistband and tugging your pants and underwear down in one swift motion. Your breath catches in your throat, heart racing as you quickly realize your girlfriendâs plans. Before you can even think to protest (though you have no intention of doing so), Paige has hooked your legs over her shoulders, positioning herself between them with an undeniable confidence.
âPââ you start, voice already breathless, but the word dies on your lips, instead replaced by a sharp gasp, as Paige licks a slow stripe along your slit.
The sensation is instant, sending a shockwave of pleasure through your entire body. Your hands dig into Paigeâs hair as you let out a shaky moan, the feel of her mouth on you the only thing you can comprehend. Her tongue moves expertly along your clit, and it makes your chest heave.
âGod,â you gasp, fingers tightening in Paigeâs ponytail, trying to ground yourself against the onslaught of sensation. Your body is already trembling, breaths coming in short, ragged bursts as Paige continues, her mouth and tongue working in perfect rhythm.
Paige, for her part, seems entirely focused on the task at hand, her hands gripping your thighs firmly as she works, her tongue moving with precision, hitting every sensitive spot with ease. Your gasps and soft moans only seem to spur her on, her tongue flicking faster against you, sucking more fervently.
Your world narrows to just thisâjust the feel of Paigeâs mouth, the heat pooling in your stomach, the way your body responds with every touch. Itâs overwhelming, in the best possible way, and you can feel herself getting closer and closer to the edge, the tension building inside you like a coiled spring ready to snap.
âPaige,â you gasp, voice barely audible over the sound of your own ragged breathing. âIâGod, Iâmââ
Before you can finish, the wave of pleasure crests, and your body tenses as you tumble over the edge, hand tightening in Paigeâs ponytail, yanking ever so slightly, making her let out a low, breathless moan against your cunt. The vibrations make you shiver, and youâre trembling from the aftershocks of your orgasm.
However, even though youâve finished, it seems like Paige has no intentions of stopping. Her mouth remains locked on your clit, tongue still working, moving in those perfect, deliberate strokes that have you seeing stars.
You gasp, body tensing again as the sensation becomes too much, the overstimulation hitting you all at once. âP,â you mumble, one of your hands instinctively reaching down to push at Paigeâs head, trying to ease her away. âToo muchââ
But Paige, ever stubborn, pulls away just enough to whine in protest, her breath hot against your sensitive cunt as she lifts her head. âPlease, baby,â your girlfriend pleads, voice low and full of pure neediness. âJust one more. Gimme one more, baby.â
Your breath seems to catch in your throat at the desperation in Paigeâs voice, and even though your body is practically vibrating from overstimulation, something about the way Paige asksâno, begsâmakes it impossible to say no.
Before you can even respond, Paige is already diving back in, too impatient to wait for an answer. Her mouth moves with renewed focus, her tongue working your clit in ways that make your body feel like itâs on fire. Paigeâs brows furrow as she concentrates, lapping at your cunt like a dog, movements precise, each flick of her tongue making you shake.
âFuck,â you whimper, nails digging into the skin of Paigeâs neck as your grip on her hair tightens. Your legs shake slightly, thighs trembling against Paigeâs shoulders, but Paige just holds you tighter, determined to coax that second orgasm out of you.
Paige looks up as at you she works, her eyes locking onto yours, and the intensity in her gaze makes your stomach flip. Thereâs something about the way Paige watches you, the hunger and the focus in her eyes as she keeps going, her mouth and tongue relentless. Itâs almost like Paige wants to commit this moment to memory, wants to own every second of your pleasure, every gasp, every moan.
Your head falls back against the pillow, chest heaving as you bite down on your lip, trying to hold back the sounds spilling from your mouth. But itâs uselessâPaige is too good, her tongue too perfect, her fingers gripping your thighs just tight enough to ground you while her mouth sends you soaring.
You watch, mouth hanging open slightly in pleasure, as Paige pulls back a little. She smirks up at you, licking your slick off her lips, before her baby blues travel down to stare at your clit. She presses a soft kiss against it before pulling back once more, just enough to spit on that spot, her saliva dripping down onto your cunt. Your eyes nearly roll back into your head as Paige looks up at you once more, while her fingers slowly rub her spit into your skin, circling your clit, teasing your entrance before bringing them back up and around. âSo fuckinâ perfect,â Paige murmurs, her voice low and full of awe as she looks up at you, her eyes gleaming with possessiveness. âSo pretty, baby.â
You let out a soft whimper, your body trembling at the praise, the feeling of Paigeâs fingers and mouth nearly sending you over the edge again. YouïżŒ barely have time to catch your breath before Paige adds, her voice even softer but dripping with ownership, âMy pretty baby.â
And then her mouth returns, tongue lapping and working you over like she has something to prove. Her tongue moves in so many different ways, flicking and swirling and pressing in all the right places, and you almost feel like youâre losing your mind. Every nerve in your body is on fire, your senses overloaded with the feeling of your girlfriendâs mouth, her hands, her voiceâjust Paige.
Your back arches off the bed, fingers tugging desperately at Paigeâs hair as the pressure inside you begins to build once again, impossibly fast, impossibly intense. âPâPaige,â you gasp, voice broken and breathless as you feel herself teetering on the edge again, your body trembling with the anticipation of release.
Paige doesnât stop. Instead, she sucks. And sucks. And sucks. Her hands are steadying your shaking thighs as she keeps her in place, humming and moaning against you because sheâs enjoying this just as much as you are. Thereâs a look of sheer determination on Paigeâs face, her brows still furrowed in concentration as she makes you come undone beneath her.
It hits you all at once, the second orgasm slamming into you with the force of a freight train. Your vision blurs, your entire body convulsing as you come, a choked gasp escaping your lips as wave after wave of pleasure washes over her. Paige keeps going, pushing you through it, her tongue moving in perfect sync with the spasms of your body.
âFuck, Paige,â you whimper, your voice barely audible as you ride out your high, hands trembling as you hold onto the blonde for dear life. Your mind is hazy, your body completely spent, but Paige doesnât stop until you finally still, your breathing ragged and uneven.
Finally, Paige pulls back, her lips and chin and nose glistening, her eyes full of pride as she looks up at you, a satisfied grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. She wipes the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand, crawling back up your body and collapsing beside you on the bed, her hand finding its way to your waist.
âSee?â Paige whispers, her voice still low and a little breathless as she presses a soft kiss to your shoulder. âI knew you had at least one more in you.â
You raise your brows at her, still trying to catch your breath as you ask, âAt least?â
Paige doesnât answer, just grins a little as she leans in, going to kiss you, her hand moving to rest on your stomach. You kiss her back, palm lightly splayed across her cheek.
âI brought it,â Paige murmurs against your lips, surprising you. Her eyes flicker with that familiar gleam, that playful but intense fire.
Your breath hitches at the implication, your heart skipping a beat. Despite already coming twice, you feel a rush of need between your legs. âYou did?â you ask with a tremor of anticipation.
âMm-hm,â Paige hums, leaning in and spreading light kisses along your jawline, trailing them til her lips meet your ear. There, she whispers, âWill you let me fuck you with it?â
You feel your heart stutter at her words, the unmistakable want tainting her tone. You feel your body warm at the thought, and the need in your stomach turns molten. It doesnât help that sheâs sucking a spot on your neck now, one that will surely leave a mark. âYeah,â you say breathily against her.
Paige pulls away from your neck as a grin breaks out across her featuresâwide, eager, and filled with anticipation. She stands up from the bed, crossing the room in a few quick strides to your bags. You watch her, heart pounding faster as she rummages through her duffle, finally pulling out the purple strap. Paige holds it up for a moment, letting it dangle in her hand, her eyes flicking back to you with a teasing smile before she begins to strip off her own clothes, tossing them aside with casual ease.
Paige stands there for a beat, completely bare, her toned body all lean muscle and curves, looking every bit the athlete she is. She takes her time putting the strap on, adjusting it around her hips, the purple of the toy standing out against her skin. Once sheâs satisfied, she gives you this lookâone that makes your breath catch againâbefore crawling back onto the bed.
Your body is practically buzzing with anticipation as Paige leans down and kisses you again, slowly this time, her lips soft but deliberate as they move against your own. Thereâs something almost tender about the way Paige kisses you, even though you can feel the heat simmering just beneath the surface.
âReady?â Paige whispers against her lips, her hand brushing a path along your neck and up to your cheek, which she cups softly.
You nod, your heart racing, your body already aching for more. âYeah,â you murmur, the words barely audible.
Paige smiles and, with careful deliberation, lines herself up, the tip of the strap pressing against your entrance. Sheâs slow at first, easing it in just enough for you to get used to the stretch. You feel your back arch off the bed a little as the toy begins to fill you, the sensation overwhelming in the best way. Itâs bigâPaige chose one that was just the right size to make you feel full, to give you that perfect stretch.
âFuck,â you mutter, fingers curling into the bedsheets as Paige pushes in deeper, slow and steady, letting you adjust to the sensation. She watches you the entire time, her eyes flickering with something dark and intense, like sheâs savoring every second of this.
âFeel good?â Paige asks, her voice low and almost too calm, given how worked up you are.
You canât speak, canât find the words, so you just nod, your breath coming out in short, shaky puffs as Paige finally pushes all the way in, filling you to the hilt. The fullness is almost too much, but itâs also perfectâthe kind of pressure that has you teetering on the edge of pleasure and pain in the most intoxicating way.
Paige leans down again, her lips ghosting over yours as she begins to move, slow and careful thrusts that make your toes curl. âGod, youâre so fuckinâ perfect,â Paige mumbles, her voice dripping with praise as she picks up the pace, her hips moving just a little faster. âSo tight around me, baby. You feel that?â
You let out a moan in response, your body rocking in time with each of your girlfriendâs thrusts. Paigeâs words always get to you, always add to the heat building inside you, and right now, Paige is talking like she wants you to lose your mind.
âYou take me so well,â Paige continues, and it comes out low and raspy as she thrusts a little harder, her hands gripping your hips for leverage. âFuckinâ perfect. My perfect girl.â
Your breathing is beyond ragged now, and youâre trembling beneath Paige as the pressure builds higher and higher. Every thrust hits just right, pushing deeper inside you, filling you in ways that made her head spin. You swear you can feel the strap in your stomach at this point. âPaigeââ you gasp, voice breaking as your hands grip Paigeâs shoulders, pulling her closer.
The blonde doesnât slow. If anything, she speeds up, her hips slamming into yours with a steady rhythm that has you seeing stars. âFuck, you hear that?â Paige rasps out, a little breathlessly as she continues fucking you. She pauses her words for a moment, doesnât say anything, letting the sound of your skin slapping against each other, the sound of Paigeâs strap sliding in and out of your cunt, fill the room. âListen to how wet you are. Shit, baby, that pussyâs so fuckinâ good.â
Your heart rate picks up, her words hitting you like a jolt of electricity. The wet sounds, the lewd praiseâitâs all too much, too perfect. âPaige,â you whimper her name again, your nails digging into herïżŒ skin as you shake with the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you.
âYeah, thatâs right,â Paige murmurs, her breath hot against your neck as she leans in, her movements becoming more deliberate, more purposeful. âMy pretty girl. All mine. So fuckinâ pretty like this, baby. Look at you.â
Paige reaches down between you, her fingers finding your clit, rubbing slow, teasing circles that send sparks shooting through your entire body. âFuck!â you practically shout, hour body jolting at the added sensation. âShit, P.â
Your whine has Paigeâs movements becoming even more calculated, each thrust perfectly timed with the pressure she puts on your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Youâre moaning against her neck, almost sobbing into her skin, as she continues pounding into you relentlessly. In and out, in and out, hitting your g-spot over and over and over again.
âCome for me, baby,â Paige commands, pinching your clit and biting at the skin of your neck. âCome on. I wanna feel you come on my cock.â
The words send you spiraling, your body tensing as the pleasure hits you like a tidal wave. Your orgasm rips through you, and you practically convulse beneath Paige as your vision blurs, your moans loud and unabashed as you come, hard, trembling from head to toe with the intensity of it.
Paige keeps moving, riding it out for you, her hips slowing but still thrusting deep, drawing out every last bit of pleasure. âThatâs it, baby,â she says lowly. Sheâs full of awe as she watches you fall apart beneath her. âFuck, youâre so good. Always so fuckinâ perfect.â
Your breath comes in ragged gasps as the pleasure slowly subsides, your body limp and spent beneath Paige. You can still feel the strap inside you, the fullness of it grounding you as you tried to catch your breath.
Paige leans down, pressing a series of soft kisses along your forehead, her fingers still tracing light patterns on your skin. âYou okay?â she asks softly, now full of gentleness and care and even concern.
You nod, still too breathless to speak, but the content smile on your face says it all. Paige kisses you again, slow and sweet, her hand resting on your cheek as she slowly pulls the strap out, easing you down from your high.
âGuess you could say you put that pussy on me,â she tells you jokingly, smiling against your lips.
You let out a tired laugh, slapping her ass lightly as you say, âEnough.â
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers fic#uconn wbb#paige bueckers x reader#uconn#uconn huskies#wbb#wcbb#paige bueckers smut#wlw#wnba#paige buckets
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Heart to Heart
Aemond x Wife Reader
Summary: Aemond spends time with your child so that you can have a much-needed break.
A/N: I'm back with more, Dad!Aemond, because I adore him so much. Aemond deserves someone who will love him as deeply and unconditionally as he loves them, and his baby definitely would. (Also, any dialogue in italics means the characters are speaking in high valyrian. I was too lazy to attempt to translate it.) No beta, so I apologize for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
âDaenys, please calm down,â you plead as you try to pacify the wailing girl.
Though your words seem to fall on deaf ears, she continues to scream and flail in your arms. You want nothing more than to join in as tears well in your eyes. You were at your wit's end. Nothing seemed to placate your child. Not even the sweets you had tried to bribe her with.Â
The nursemaids had changed her nappy several times. Theyâve tried feeding, bathing, offering toys, and even taking her for a walk in the gardens. Yet none of it worked. They brought her to you as a last resort, hoping she might be missing her mother. Unfortunately, their hopes went unfounded.
Daenys continued to thrash in your arms, and you struggled to keep a grip on her. She was surprisingly strong for someone so small.Â
âShh, itâs alright,â you coo, bouncing the fussy girl in your arms. âAre you tired? Shall we take a nap?â
Your questions only incite her fury. Daenys lets out an ear-splitting screech. You groaned, eyes closing in frustration at the situation.Â
âHow about we give your mother a break, hmm?â
You look up, finding your husband now standing before you. He takes your little girl into his arms, and for the first time in forever, she settles down. She doesnât squirm and try to get away from him, and her wails turn into low whimpers and quiet hiccups. You watch as he handles her with such ease. Aemond pats her back and talks to her in a soothing voice, gently bouncing her in his arms. Daenys rested her head on his shoulder, her tiny fists held tightly onto his coat.
âIâm terrible at this,â you huffed, shame blooming in your chest.Â
âNo, youâre not.â Aemond leaned down, pressing a gentle, reassuring kiss to your head. âIâll take her for a bit. Get some rest.â
You nod, grateful for his help. He waves Daenysâ hand towards you as they leave. You wave back until the pair disappear from your view. You sigh in relief as your body slumps onto the Grecian couch beneath you. You debate whether to continue with your book or take a quick nap.
-
Aemond holds Daenys close to his chest as he maneuvers himself off his saddle. Ser Rickard Thorne stands to the side, wearing his freshly polished armor and pristine white cloak. Aemond nods at him, and the white knight quickly takes Aemondâs horse by the reins, leading the horse away.
The dragon lord looked down, watching Daenys as she toyed with the wooden dragon in her hands. He smiled. The familiar warm fuzzy feeling that filled his entire body every time he laid his eyes on her returned. It was hard to believe that something so beautiful and innocent could come from him. But here she was. The two of you had created something- someone so precious.Â
A loud grumble sounded in the air. Aemond lifted his head, observing Vhagar. The giant dragon was hard to miss, even from a great distance.
The overgrown grass and twigs squish and cackle beneath his boots as he walked into the open field where the ancient she-dragon resided. Vhagar had outgrown the dragonpit years before he had even claimed her. Vhagar turned her giant head to the side, watching them as they approached. She shut her eyes again when she realized it was just him.
Daenys let out a delighted squeal when her eyes finally landed on the giant dragon. Aemond struggled to hold her as she excitedly kicked her legs and waved her arms. Aemound cursed under his breath as the wooden dragon toy fell to the ground. Oh well, he would retrieve it later.
âWhat is it, my little dragon?â He asked enthusiastically. âWhat do you see?â
 Daenys clapped her little hands and babbled, âVava!â
âVhagar? Do you see Vhagar?â
She looks up to him and nods her head. Her violet eyes lock onto his, and the two smile at each other. Aemond planted a kiss on the girlâs temple, gaining sweet, girlish giggles in response.
âVery good, my little dragon. It is Vhagar.â
Daenys begins to squirm in his arms and tries to push him away.
âWhat is it? Do you want down?â
Aemond looks down at the grass, checking for any potential dangers. Your little girl grunts and continues to try to push him away.
Aemond huffs, âAlright, alright.â
His lips curve downward into a slight frown. The two of you had been very proud and excited when Daenys started walking. However, Aemond was a little saddened by the fact that his sweet little girl didnât want to be in his arms all the time anymore.
His mother had told him that itâs normal for them to want to be more independent when they start walking. The man understood that, but he still did not like it one bit.
Aemond carefully lowers the little girl to her feet. Her chubby little fingers hold onto his hands as she tries to stabilize herself. When she finally stops wobbling, she lets go. Aemondâs heart races in his chest as he watches her take a small, shaky step forward. His hands immediately reach out to grab her, but he stops himself.
Daenys takes another step; this time, sheâs a bit more stable. She holds her arms out, trying to balance her weight as she trots forward. Aemond follows closely behind. With each step, he felt a twinge of panic in his chest. The man struggled not to swoop her into his arms every time she stumbled.
Thankfully, they made it to Vhagar rather quickly. Vhagar gave a small huff as Daenys small hands smacked against her snout.Â
âGentle,â Aemond warned sternly, well aware of his dragon's short temper.Â
The man kneeled next to her. He took one of Daenys little hands into his own, showing her how to pet Vhagarâs snout carefully. Daenys let out another excited squeal that made Aemond wince.Â
âYes,â he nodded. âItâs very exciting, but we must be quiet.â
Daenys pulled her hand away from his, wanting to try it alone. Vhagar remained still, resting lazily on her chin. Aemond stood back up. He rested his large palm against her warm green scales with a joyous smile. She truly is a sight to behold.
Vhagar was the largest and fiercest dragon in the world. Nothing could stand against her. And yet she decided that he, of all people, was worthy of her. That he deserved the privilege to call himself her rider. No one could question or deny his worth now.
âVava, pay?â
Aemond looked down, watching as his little girl tried to get the dragonâs attention. Her silver curls fell onto her face. The man reached down, pushing the strands of hair behind her ears. He felt a bit sorry for her. Vhagar was nowhere near as active as Daenys' little hatchling, who resided in the dragon pit. She did not flap her wings or let out any shrieks of excitement like Daenysâ hatchling did when they saw each other.
Daenys tugged on his coat. She turned her head up to look at him. Her brows were drawn together, and her bottom lip protruded further than her top lip. The look on her face tugged at his heartstrings.
âPlay? No, Vhagar does not want to play.â
Your little girl does not seem to accept his answer. She turns her attention back to the dragon, gently petting her scales a few more times. Daenys tries calling out to her again, but Vhagar still gives no response. Perhaps this wasnât such a good idea. Aemond initially planned to take her to the dragon pit, but he decided against it. Mostly because he wanted to come out and visit Vhagar. He could seldom go a day without coming to see his winged companion.Â
Suddenly, a loud grumble echoed in Vhagarâs throat. The dragon, finally having enough of the childâs affection, raised her head. Daenys, who was balancing herself on Vhagarâs head, fell back, landing on her bottom with a loud oomph.
âLykirÄ«, Vhagar. LykirÄ«,â Aemond commanded as he swiftly took Daenys into his arms.
Vhagar did not move, nor did she make a sound. The ancient dragon merely eyed the two of them. When Aemond felt confident enough that she would not act, he turned his attention to Daenys.
The look on her face is heart-wrenching. Her wide eyes filled with tears, and her trembling lips stretched into a deep frown. Her breath hitched as she tried not to cry. It makes Aemond feel like he wants to cry as well. He pressed a kiss to the childâs temple.
âDonât cry, my little love. Youâll be alright.â He tried to reassure her.
She blinks, and tears fall from her violet eyes. Sad, quiet whimpers escape from her lips. Tears started to well up in Aemondâs eye, his breath quivered, and a lump formed in his throat. He was never one to cry. It made him feel weak and small, something he despised more than anything.Â
But when his little girl was upset like this, he wanted to cry. Sometimes, he still wanted to cry even when she wasnât upset. There were many times when he would just watch her while she played or slept, and then suddenly, he would be hit with a massive wave of emotions. Aemond wondered if Viserys had ever felt that way when he looked at him or any of his siblings.
Vhagar let out a loud huff. A wave of hot air engulfs Aemond and Daenys. Aemond looks up, observing Vhagar carefully. The green dragon lowers her head, gently nudging her snout against the crying girl. Aemond raises his hand to wipe away Daenysâ tears.
âLook, sheâs sorry for making you sad.â
Daenys sniffled and turned to look at Vhagar. The corners of her mouth turned upwards. She giggled as she rested her forehead against Vhagarâs snout. Her little arms did their best to hug the dragonâs giant head.Â
Aemond chuckled lightly, raising his hand to give Vhagar a few rewarding pats. His chest was bursting with pride as he watched his favorite girls interact. The only one who was missing was you.
#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#aemond#prince aemond#prince aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen imagine#x reader#x fem!reader#house of the dragon#house targaryen#fire and blood#hotd#girldad!aemond#dad!aemond#fluff#soft!aemond
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