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loafgeto · 1 year ago

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BEWITCHING HOUR

gojo satoru x fem!reader x geto suguru

synopsis: while searching through the archives of your college’s library, you discover an ancient book with old rituals. out of curiosity, you try to summon an incubus but somehow, it didn’t work— only until you woke that same night, to encounter not only one, but two of them.

contents: fem!reader, explicit language, she/her pronouns, incubus satoru and suguru, NSFW, threesome, slight foreplay, cunninglus kinda, fingering, voyeurism(??), breastplay, markings/hickeys, overstimulation, unprotected sex, multiple creampies, squirting, orgasms, handjob, blowjob, slight rough sex(?!), pet names (use of slut once), suguru and satoru fighting over you, they both have big dicks<3, JUST SOOO MUCH EXPLICIT SHIT LMAOOO, not proofread !!

word count: 4.7k

notes: just so so sosoooo much content guys srry… i prob need to be locked up after this LOL i just cant stop myself from writing sm dirty shit like that 💔😢 (also plz dont read this if ur not comfortable)

most horror movies involved demons or ghosts, and they’re most likely summoned through rituals, or some sort of supernatural item or game that one shouldn’t dare to touch. people would ramble and scream at the user, complaining how stupid they were and how their curiosity killed everyone.

and you were one of those people.

but now you’re in your bedroom with an old thick book, dated back into the late 14th century. it was written in a language most wouldn’t necessarily understand, latin to be precise. but you were grateful for the classes you took in high school, and understood at least some of it.

the book was mainly about old rituals and performances or instructions to summon spirits. it was obviously a bad idea, a very bad idea. and you were just like those characters in those horror movies that you called stupid— but you had to admit, curiosity got the best of you, just like them.

besides, it was the night of halloween. all of your friends went out in their revealing costumes to late night parties while you stayed back in your dorm. well, you were going to attend, but this book was on your mind the entire day— so you opted out, reasoning that you were feeling under the weather.

now, how did this book even end up in your possession? well, it started earlier that day, after your third class of the day.

halloween landed on a friday, unfortunately— so there were classes. your professor assigned a major project in which required you to obtain an archive as one of your resources. it was irritating to say the least, since you’d have to search for an archive related to your topic without a computer. but thankfully, librarians were there to assist.

you went to your university’s library archives section on the very top floor, hoping to find something related to your topic so you’d get out of there quicker and start on the project. you decided your topic to be about ancient greek mythology, it was simple and you enjoy the idea. and it’d be quite easy to find an archive about it.

“excuse me, where am i able to find an archive about greek mythology or culture?” you questioned the librarian who mainly worked in the section.

she gives you a smile through her dull appearance before turning her head to the multiple tall shelves of archives behind her. “if you go to the fourth shelf on the left, then the third section, you may find the archives about ancient greek and everything related to it.”

after thanking the librarian, you quickly walk over to the section, somewhat excited to see what you could find. the entire section was stacked with archives about greek mythology, some were identical but in different colorings and covers, while some were smaller, thicker, older, or written in a different language.

all of the pages appeared worn, and were nearly close to rotting out of the book, and you wondered on who might’ve touched this centuries ago. it was weird to think about but you decided to move along, and keep searching for what you need.

your eyes scan through each row on the shelf, hoping to find something appealing and comprehendible to use as a resource for your assignment. something caught your eye at an instant, as if it was manifesting you, calling for you to grab it.

and for some odd reason, when you went to pull the book out of its spot, the book clearly didn’t belong in the section of greek mythology. you blinked several times, observing the old and thick book. the cover had a unique texture, with golden colored latin wordings in the front and a detailed drawing of a distorted demon. in hindsight, it was a ritual book.

you flipped through the first few pages, skimming through the paragraphs on how to summon a certain spirit or demon. everything was in latin, but you at least somewhat understood. there were pictures describing what the entities appeared as, or what forms they can take. it was frightening to say the least, but you were surprised something like this was here.

a page that certainly caught your interest mentioned an incubus.

and so, you read it thoroughly. an incubus, a male form of a demon that seeks to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women. they were the corresponding spirit of a succubus. you heard of the folklore several times, and this somewhat intrigued you even more. as you read further, it specifically mentioned that the incubus posed as a winsome japanese man, in order to attract women. you also noticed that there were two demons in the picture drawn on the page, one white and one black. could it be summoned in either form?

to say that you wanted to try summoning the incubus was definitely not an understatement. but who the fuck would want a demon to be fucking them while they sleep? the question didn't pop into your head at that moment, and you were quick to take the book without completing the search for the archive you actually needed.

and you cancelled all halloween plans just for this.

now, you felt as if you were in one of those horror movies. closed curtains, lights off, several candles lit around you as you sat in the middle of your room with the book opened to your designated page. the summoning was simple, you were to follow the ritual word by word and then take a long sip of red wine. and lucky you, there was some leftover red wine from a party weeks ago.

the glass of wine was next to the book, and you were contemplating whether or not to continue. you were quite surprised at how simple the summoning was, since most would require a slit of blood or your soul, or something extreme. but red wine? this incubus must have a preference.

you took a deep and long breath, before beginning to read the ritual word by word. and after you finished, you picked up the glass of red wine and gulped the entire liquid down your throat.

you expected something to appear, but nothing.

your eyes dart around the room, but you found it to be empty. did it not work? you’re oddly confused and repeated the ritual once more. but again, nothing happened.

when the second try didn’t work, you figured the third try wouldn’t either. you were certain that every word was said correctly and you missed out no words either. you scoffed, closing the book and turning on the lights to your room. you blow out the candles and concluded at how much bullshit this was.

“this shit is such a waste of time,” you mumble as you shove the ritual book into your backpack.

after putting everything else away, you decided to get ready for bed and pretend as if you did nothing. you would return the book tomorrow and never have to remember it again. it was worth a try after all, and you honestly thought it would work.

you switched into a pair of comfortable shorts and a loose top. you unclipped your bra and tossed it to the side, since you normally slept without one because it was more comfortable that way. you were still feeling quite upset that the ritual didn’t work, but at the same time, you were alright with nothing happening. it was just a hoax, like what everyone else would say.

falling asleep wasn’t so hard, and time ended up passing as you quietly slept on your bed. at some point, you could hear the faint sounds of teenagers screaming and enjoying their halloween events, and your neighbors’ kids exclaiming happily about how much candy they received.

and for some reason, the air in your room became more frigid and you were cuddling yourself close underneath your comforter you found warm. you didn’t allow it to bother you and fell asleep once more.

you remained asleep for several more hours, unbeknownst to anything occurring in your room. it was until you heard gentle shuffling noises in your room. at first, you didn’t allow it to bother you— until you felt someone’s gently caress your face.

“she’s cute, don’t ya think?” a male’s voice calls out beside of you.

your eyes immediately shoot open, and you’re making eye contact with an unfamiliar man— white hair and horns, striking bright blue eyes, shirtless with multiple scars, and white torn wings. your eyes widen and you scream, pushing the man’s hands away from you before shoving yourself in the deepest corner of your bed away from him.

“oh, did i scare you? i’m sorry, angel,” the man chuckles with a sly grin.

“w-who- the hell are you- and how did you get in my house?!” you shout, shielding yourself with one of your pillows.

the man sighs, rubbing the back of his nape as he remained silent for a moment. but before he could speak, another male appears behind of him— jet black hair and horns, black torn wings, shirtless with multiple scars, but he was broader and his hair was longer than the other one. “i told you to stop approaching girls like that. this is why they never like you,” he says, nudging the white haired man.

“ouch. hey, i didn’t think she would awake immediately,” he scoffs and they both return their gaze back to you. “sorry angel, i get carried away sometimes. never met such a pretty woman like ya. and you’re the one who summoned us.”

“summoned? what do you mean? i haven’t-“ you began to say due to your panic but you pause your words when the ritual from earlier returned to your mind. you remain quiet for a moment, and the two incubus’s tilt their head in confusion. there was absolutely no way, right? “i must be dreaming.”

the black haired incubus frowns, crossing his arms. “well, princess. you aren’t and even if you are, we can appear in them too,” he replies but then he shakes his head. “oh, forget i said that. don’t want to frighten you.”

“oh suguru, i think she already is.”

“this was your fault, satoru.”

“my fault?!” satoru raises his voice, glaring intently ay suguru who whistles.

“okay, shut up. quit raising your voice, you’re scaring the poor, innocent and beautiful girl here,” suguru says, now returning his gaze back to you and he smiles warmly. “but yes, princess. you indeed did summon us. was there a particular reason?”

“i.. just did it for fun..” you reply, still quite astonished. “and i thought it would only be one.. not two..”

“well angel, maybe you should read a little more carefully before summoning us,” satoru sighs, and then chuckles. “especially if you were expecting only one of us.”

“i-i’m sorry—“

“don’t apologize. everyone we meet usually mistakes it for one instead of two,” suguru is still smiling with a gentle tone, indicating for you to ignore satoru’s harmless remarks. “and you did this for fun? well princess, if you wanna have some fun. then we can give that to you. how about it?”

you’re mostly uncertain about this, and the other part of you urged to move forward. you were obviously curious but anticipating, and couldn’t initiate anything. was this actually real? you were still in denial still, yet if this wasn’t— then it’s one hell of a dream.

suguru notices your hesitation and thinks for a moment. “well princess, there’s no need to be anxious. we’ll take care of you,” he says, extending his hand out to yours. “but if you don’t want to, then all you gotta do is say no.”

you shake your head, a hand taking suguru’s. “i-i want to..” the words fell out of your mouth shyly, and you could feel your face burn as suguru chuckles, his grip tightening around your hand. “what a good girl. you don't gotta be shy at all 'kay, [name]?”

“mhm..” you nod, eyes slightly widening when you realized you didn’t even tell them your name. “you know my name?”

“of course. we always know the name of our summoner, it’d be rude if we didn’t know,” suguru smiles, as he pulls you towards him. his large frame towered over yours, and you could feel his throbbing erection poking your lower belly. “does that freak you out, princess?”

"n-no.." you shake your head, lips trembling slightly. in other cases, this sort of situation should freak you out. like, who would want to fuck two hot incubuses? but that question doesn't matter anymore. the two were so alluring, and their words seem to enchant you in some way. "good then.. i can kiss you now, right?" suguru coos in your ears.

you nod, gaze staring into suguru’s dark eyes. the incubus presses his lips against yours as a hand snakes around your hips. you moan into the kiss, since this was a feeling you hadn’t felt in so long. satoru just watches, his own dick twitching underneath his pants from the way your moans sounded.

suguru’s hands slithers underneath your shorts, groping and massaging the skin of your ass. next, he gently bites your lower, smirking from the way your moans fell into his mouth. “you like how i touch you, princess?” suguru inquires in such a seductive tone when pulling away from the kiss, and you nod as an answer while your face burned.

you are pushed down on your bed, and suguru hovers over you. he licks his lips, liking the way you were sprawled under him as his eyes burned with lust. you nearly shut your eyes as suguru spreads your legs apart, pushing the material of your shorts and panties to the side. “w-wait—“ you begin out of embarrassment, but suguru had already slipped two of his long fingers inside of your wet cunt. you gasp, quietly squirming as he pumps his fingers slowly.

“goodness princess, you’re already so wet,” suguru comments, pushing his fingers deeper. the squelching noises of your pussy resonates the room, along with your soft moans. he smiles, glancing at satoru who was becoming hornier by the second. the white haired incubus couldn’t contain himself much longer— wanting to touch himself to the sound of your moans. “you hear that, satoru? you hear how wet she is?”

“mmh- fuck, yeah,” satoru replies, a hand rubbing over the bulge of his pants. he had to admit, he was jealous of suguru— him being able to please you first. the two had been confined in that book for who knows how long. satoru has become desperate, hungry and longing to touch and fuck a pretty girl like you. “hurry up, suguru. i want to touch her next.”

suguru chuckles, turning his attention back to you. “doesn’t that turn you on, [name]? don’t you like hearing how badly satoru wants to touch you like this?” suguru says, pressing a thumb against your clit and creating sensual circles around the area that makes you more sensitive. you moan as a response, your body trembling from suguru’s actions. “y-yes.. i want satoru- to t-touch me too..” you reply, looking at satoru who nearly came from the needy pitch of your voice.

“you heard her, satoru,” suguru says, glancing at satoru with a grin— and you found yourself in between the two incubuses. suguru had slipped off your shorts and panties, tossing them to the floor. satoru was situated behind of you, propping your body up so that your back would press against his muscular chest.

while suguru was pumping his fingers into your aching pussy and rubbing circles against your clit, satoru had pushed his hands underneath your top to fondle with your breasts. satoru pinches your nipples with his fingers, getting a little whine out of your mouth and then moves his lips to suck the skin of your neck. suguru could feel your gummy walls pulsate and clench around his fingers, and he fastens his pace to assist you closer to your orgasm.

“such pretty tits you have, angel,” satoru compliments, leaving love marks on your neck and he kisses your shoulders. such delicate and gorgeous skin you have— making satoru wanting to mark you all over with his mouth. he pinches your nipples again, when noticing the way you react to it. “mm~ s-satoru- keep touching my breasts like that-“ you moan, your head slightly falling back against his shoulder.

“give me some attention too, princess~” suguru pouts, slipping another finger into your pussy. your eyes widen in astonishment, seeming that you’ve never felt three fingers inside of you before. your moans become louder at that point, mostly because of suguru. “yeah, that’s a good girl. moan just for me,” he adds, smirking as his knuckles began smacking the entrance of your pussy.

satoru glares at suguru, before slipping one hand away from your breast to grab your head. satoru turns your face towards him and presses his lips against yours while maintaining eye contact with suguru. the raven haired incubus furrows his brows, watching as you and satoru’s tongues swirled sloppily around and over each others. the two now seem to have an ongoing battle of who can please you the best.

“‘m gonna c-cum,” you utter through your moans, mouth parting slightly from satoru’s, a strong of saliva connecting from your tongue to his. suguru smiles, curling his fingers to rub faster against your g-spot. “c’mon princess, cum for me,” he says, lowering his face to your pussy and replaces his thumb with his tongue on your clit.

“oh f-fuck, suguruu-“ you mewl his name, eyes nearly rolling back as your legs tremble from the fast kitten licks his tongue was giving against your clit. satoru couldn’t do much but continue to play with your breast and watch suguru fuck your pussy until you came. you could feel satoru’s throbbing dick pressing against your lower back, and you use a hand to go behind and underneath his pants. “s-shit, angel-“ satoru grunts as your hands push to free his cock out and wrap around his girth. “seems like she’s ready for my cock.”

“don’t even think about it, satoru,” suguru growls, circling licks against your clit before gently sucking. he had to remind satoru that it was his turn to fuck the next summoner first, and just because you had invited satoru earlier than suguru expected, doesn’t mean he’d get to fuck his cock into you first. as for you, your mind is too overstimulated with the situation and you couldn’t bother caring about their bickering. “shitshitshit, i’m cumming-“ you cry out, squirting over suguru’s mouth and fingers.

suguru licks and cleans all of your juices that squirted onto your thighs and by his mouth, savoring the taste. he stares deep into satoru’s eyes when licking off your arousal on his fingers, smiling cockily since satoru wasn’t able to get a taste. “i might actually get addicted to this pussy,” suguru comments before he unzips his pants to releases his hard throbbing cock.

your eyes widen at the sight of suguru’s dick. was something like that actually going to fit? you anticipated greatly as suguru pumps his length a few times before aligning against your wet entrance. “oh, you scared, princess?” suguru chuckles, but you instantly shake your head. “n-no.. please fuck my pussy..” you reply, pushing your legs farther apart.

“you hear that, satoru? hear and see how she’s begging for my cock only?” suguru asks, glancing at satoru to see his reaction. he just needed to rub it in the other incubus’s face, since they were quarreling after all. satoru glares again, not replying as his attention was mostly on the way your hand gripped around his cock. “spreading your legs like that just f’me. such a needy girl you are, huh?” suguru adds, teasing your wet entrance with the tip of his cock before pushing his entire length past your folds.

“o-oh my god-“ you moan, eyes widening from the feeling of suguru’s cock rubbing against your walls, nearly making you cum again. suguru grunts when your tight pussy instantly clenches around him, and he quietly chuckles. “fuck.. mmh,” he moans, rocking his hips in a slow and sensual pace.

“touch me too, angel. don’t forget about me,” satoru whimpers, his words purring into your ears as he bucks his hips up to feel your soft hand rub against his desperate cock. and who were you to ignore his lecherous request? you began to pump your hand along satoru’s cock just like he wanted, causing him to moan softly into your ear. “s-shit.. i might cum just because of your hands,” satoru chuckles, returning his lips to suck the skin of your neck.

suguru’s hands grip tightly on your thighs as his thrusts became stronger, faster, and full of desire— wanting to strive your attention away from satoru. his cock was already fucked deep into you, spreading and pleasuring your walls towards your next orgasm. your moans fall from your mouth with each thrust and love bite you receive from the two incubuses, and you began detecting stars in your vision as you reach a daze. “n-ngh.. squeezing me so damn hard. you want my cum that badly, baby?” suguru groans, faintly throwing his head back.

“y-yes, pleaseee,” you whine, your cunt sucking in suguru’s cock at his words. the incubus groans, drilling deeper into your pussy, balls slapping against your ass. satoru intently watches suguru pound into your needy hole relentlessly, turning you into a crying and moaning mess. his dick twitches at the sight of you two connecting, making him wonder what it’d be like to be in suguru’s position. it even turned satoru on when he sees how suguru’s fucking you, and the sensual strokes you give his cock doesn’t seem to stop him from reaching an orgasm.

“fuckkk, holy fuck-“ suguru chants, his eyes nearly rolling back because of how satisfied his dick was feeling. “we should make her ours, satoru. make her our little cum dump, yeah?” suguru glances at satoru, who only moans as a response when you swirl your thumb around his swollen tip. “seems like she wants to, satoru. the way she’s clenching her dirty little cunt tightly around me tells me she wants to be our cum dump. that right, princess?” suguru utters, now staring into your tear filled eyes as he continues thrusting into you.

you nod your head several times, unable to formulate a proper response as you felt your next orgasm reaching. “‘m gonna cum, shittt,” satoru groans, your soft hand on his cock driving him insane. “m-me too.. gonna fill your womb up with all of my cum,” suguru grits his teeth, and you haven’t even realize his sharp nails nudging into the flesh of your skin.

in the next moment, satoru came entirely over your back and hand— while suguru fucks his cum into you before pulling out. you moan, legs trembling slightly as you feel suguru’s semen warming your baby room. you’re breathing heavily, desperately gasping for air as the two were switching positions, not that you noticed.

you found yourself on all yours and completely naked, face directly inches away from suguru’s cock while satoru had positioned behind of you, pushing your ass back against his hips. “now it’s my turn to dump my cum in you, angel. i’m gonna give you so, so much~” satoru coos, not even giving you a moment to comprehend before shoving him cock into you. “a-ah, fuck-“ your mewl, eyes widening from the deep penetration, instantly making you cum on him. “already came? i just started, y’know,” satoru grunts, thrusting his hips before slapping your ass.

suguru strokes his throbbing dick that was still hard, which earns your attention immediately. he chuckles, his other hand going to caress the side of your face. “you miss my cock already, don’t you?” suguru raises a brow, smacking the tip against your face before you nod. “yeah? t-then take my cock into your mouth- mmh, just like that- good girl,” he praises, pushing half his length pass your lips, groaning at the warm feeling of your mouth.

you bob your head slowly back and forth, sucking and slurping suguru’s cock while using another hand to pump the rest of his length that was unable to fit into your mouth. at the same time, satoru was drowning his cock deep into your cunt, fucking suguru’s cum out and making it stream down your thighs and onto the sheets of your bed. “s-stop squeezing me so much, angel. about to make me cum a-again,” satoru stutters, hands gripping tightly on your hips.

“mm- satoruu- suguruu~” you moan both of their names, pushing your head away to swirl your tongue around suguru’s tip. you clench your walls around satoru, despite him begging you to relax since it was driving him insane. “hear her, suguru? she’s moaning our names like a damn slut,” satoru grins, slapping your ass again.

“yeah, i like it,” suguru replies, pushing his length into your mouth again, feeling your moans vibrate against his dick. “g-gonna fill her mouth with my cum too..”

“hey.. that’s not fair..” satoru glares at suguru. or maybe it is fair and he just doesn’t want to admit it. since the last time they had sex with someone, satoru was the one mostly occupying their attention and barely allowed suguru to interact. to say the least, satoru’s selfish and greedy, but of course if it’s his best friend— he wouldn’t mind sharing, which is why they’re both sworn incubuses. “it is. but whatever [name] says, goes,” suguru hums, reminding satoru of the simple rules they established beforehand.

“‘ts okay- i want you both- to fill me up with your cum-“ you intervene as suguru slips his cock out, exchanging glances between the two. whether the boys like it or not, you’d share yourself equally to them. that was the fair way, but it didn’t mean they’d stop bickering over you. wanting to get rid of their glares at each other, you attract their attention back to you by kitten licking your tongue against suguru’s tip and grind your hips back against satoru. “s-shit. i can’t resist myself any longer, princess,” suguru moans.

satoru was loving the way you were fucking his cock by pushing your hips back against him, it made him pound you even rougher than before. “gonna make this pussy ours then,” satoru whines, his hips slamming harshly against your ass, nearly capturing your remaining attention away from suguru. “let’s fill every single one of her holes with our cum, ‘guru.”

“you fucking bet,” suguru smirks to the idea, as if it wasn’t something they planned from the beginning. the two of them moan, feeling you suck them in tighter, like you’re trying to milk all of their cum out due to the wicked statement. it aroused you, turned you into an even more filthy woman. “g-gonna cum in your pussy now, angel.. fuckkkk, take it all like a good girl,” satoru huffs, hoisting one of your thighs up.

as satoru was reaching his climax, he penetrates his cock deeper into your cunt, making sure all of his cum would reach into your womb like suguru’s did. you cry out, rushes of ecstasy flowing through your veins before satoru shoots his warm semen into you. at the same moment, suguru prods his entire length into your mouth, whether it fit or not, and releases his second load into the back of your throat. your mind is completely scrambled, cramped with lust struck thoughts of the two incubuses.

and just when you think that they’re done, you find yourself lying back on your bed again and legs spread apart to where they both could fit in between. they both wore heavy erotic expressions, eyes practically sparking with hearts as they stared down at you.

it was like you were in a never-ending heaven with two sex demons. you already felt so addicted to the incubuses, like they were going to become a drug you could never stop taking. and well, you couldn’t return the book anymore— not after experiencing this. they were going to be your little secret, your pleasures, your two fuck buddies that will pound their horny cocks into you wherever and whenever.

you keep your filled cunt exposed to them, moaning softly when their mixed cum starts dripping out. to them, it looked like you were desperately pleading for them to fuck you again. and that’s when they knew that they were going to be summoned every single night.

“let’s make sure this pussy remember us, and only us.”

LOAFGETO. thank you for reading! please do not copy my work or publish in another media without my permission.

a/n: i’ll let you guys decide who says the line at the end. ANYWAYS finally on thanksgiving break, im sooo done with school bru. ok lol hope u guys enjoyed. likes + reblogs are appreciated. <3

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tetsuwhore · 4 years ago

Text

𝐈𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 | 𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮, 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

Description: Atsumu and Osamu ‘helping’ their virgin bestfriend.

Warning: explicit content. loss of virginity.

Length: 1.2k words

Part 1 (Kuroo, Oikawa, Akaashi)

there is no shame between you two. you two are very open when it comes to discussing the topic of sex, so it isn’t even weird when he starts complaining about the previous night and how it took him a ‘whole five minutes’ of jerking off to cum

you scoff, immediately shooting back that for the average woman, it takes much, much longer than ‘a wHoLe fiVe mINuTeS’

but when you mindlessly add something about how you’ve never been able experience any pleasure while fingering yourself anyway?

that’s when his ears really perk up

now the gears are grinding in his head - the way Atsumu thinks of it is, why wouldn’t it make sense for him to offer to help you with your little ‘problem’?

with his fair share of experiences, not only has he had plenty of open conversations with past partners about how they like being touched, but he’s also had the practice to hone his technique

and, he’s good. he knows he’s good. so at least this way, Atsumu can guarantee that your first sexual experience is with someone who actually cares about your pleasure rather than with a partner who half asses it and leaves you unsatisfied

Atsumu: just sayin’ 😏 settin’ ain’t the only thing these fingers are useful for 😎 🤪 👅

You: kindly stfu and never speak to me again 🥰

ultimately though, you agree. even if Atsumu goes about the whole ordeal with his usual smug demeanour, you know he’s still your best friend, and you can trust that he’s going to take good care of you

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You don’t know what’s more embarrassing - the squelching sounds of Atsumu’s fingers pumping into your slopping cunt, or the high-pitched cries that he’s luring out of your lips. Either way, it’s not like you have the current mental capacity to care anyway.

Not when you’re too busy grinding your clit against his calloused palm, all while the tips of his digits continue abusing that spongy spot inside you. The sensation is so delicious, so different from all those nights spent alone, just you and your own fingers. No, Atsumu’s are longer, bigger; they’re stretching you out to accommodate the thickness.

And he knows exactly how to use them, curling and prodding just right, until...

“‘Tsumu… I-I’m-”

Atsumu chuckles when you begin writhing around involuntarily, nails frantically gripping for purchase on his tensed arm. He allows you to curl into him, pulling your form closer to his broad chest as you bury your face into the crook of his neck and sob out soft whines of his name.

“Mhmm, just like that,” he murmurs into your ear, voice uncharacteristically gentle, “Relax, relax, I got ya.”

His fingers only cease their movements when you weakly tug at his arm, coaxing him away from your overstimulated core.

“So... I’d ask if it was good, but from all that squirmin’ and moanin’, I guess it’s safe to assume it was?”

Cracking your eyes open to the sight of a smug smirk on his face, you shoot him a glare as you huff.

“Fuck you, Atsumu.”

Your breath chokes up in your throat when he grunts in response, tone serious, “I could, yanno. Give ya a taste of what a real man can do. At least before ya end up with some loser who shows ya a half-assed fuck that barely makes ya shiver.”

Atsumu grins when you slowly nod, visibly gulping as you watch his hands unbuckle his belt to free the large bulge in his boxers.

“Hmm, maybe if ya cum nice and hard on my cock like a good girl, I’ll reward ya by usin’ my tongue next.”

even if you’re close friends with Osamu, it’s still unlikely that he’s all that open about his sex life. therefore, you may not regularly have conversations about his past hookups (or your lack of them)

what you do know, however, is that he’s not quite the inexperienced virgin that people often picture him to be when they compare his outward image to that of Atsumu’s

which is why you’re not too worried about Osamu refusing to help when you approach him about you wanting to learn how to give someone a handjob

at first, he brushes you off, saying you could always just learn from porn

you both know he’s not actually serious - porn, with its glamourized visuals and performative nature, probably wouldn’t be the most realistic source to learn from

eventually, Osamu relents, sighing something about how he’d generously lend you his expertise so you don’t ‘end up accidentally breaking some dude’s dick off’

though, he would stipulate that since you were going to see him orgasm, it was ‘only fair’ that he got to watch you too. he suggests that you could simply limit it to masturbating in front of him if you didn’t want to go any further

Osamu knows how scary the vulnerability of having your first sexual experience can be, and he reasons that by doing this, he can help you learn to grow a little more comfortable with it

so when it comes to actually carrying out your request, he’s gentle with you, offering quiet instructions and reassurances as you hesitantly handle his weighty cock in your hand

and if you’re still a little shy when it’s time to fulfill your end of the bargain? Osamu’s already prepared with another solution, one that he’s sure you’ll enjoy immensely

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“If yer not gonna do it,” you hear him say, “why don’t ya let me?”

Your shaky fingers still, slipping out of your core. If you thought you were embarrassed before, it’s only gotten worse now, a flashing heat crawling up your neck as you fully comprehend what Osamu’s suggesting.

You wait a moment, allowing a second to pass, and then another. Swallowing it in, gaining some semblance of composure. Then, you nod.

“Mhmm, ‘kay. Want my fingers or tongue?”

Now this was too much. You’re thankful that your eyes are shut, because facing your best friend now surely would’ve made you combust. With whatever courage you can muster up, you stammer your answer.

“T-Tongue, ple-please.”

You barely even have time to inhale, because now you can feel his hot breath fanning across your cunt, and you oh- you can’t even squirm anymore because his strong arms are holding your thighs down to the bed, and oh- oh- he’s licking.

He’s licking, tongue swiping up from your dripping slit, curling all the way to your swollen clit. Osamu’s pace is lazy, languid, and yet, it’s teasing all the right spots, prodding your sensitive bud over and over in a repetitive motion that makes you tangle your fingers into the sheets so you don’t lose yourself entirely.

“F-Fuck, ‘Samu, th-that feels... sooo much better than, ah- than my fingers…”

Your eyes widen when you feel him chuckling against you, the vibrations running straight to your core. Daring to glance down, you see Osamu’s grey head lift up as his dark eyes lock on yours. They’re mischievous, just like the slight grin on his face. Your breath hitches when his tongue darts out, licking the slickness coating his lips.

“Don’tcha worry. By the time I’m done with ya, yer never gonna be able to go back to just ya fingers.”

#atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #atsumu smut #osamu smut #haikyuu smut #atsumu miya x reader #osamu miya x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines

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saberstars · 3 years ago

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I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

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cringe-central · 4 years ago

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Love Languages

The Lost Boys: Seperate

Giving vs. Recieving

A/N: Im so sorry this took so long to complete. I just started a new job so things may take longer, but ill still be writing. The next fic will most likely be poly with you and the boys getting together.

David

Giving: Gifts

David enjoys giving gifts that remind you of who you belong to. He's not good with emotions so giving momentos, to David, is a good way of showing his love.

David gives gifts to show you that even if he isn't around, he's thinking about you. He also uses gifts as an excuse to take care of you. He views himself as your protector and wants you to know that he can and will provide for you.

If he sees you looking at something for just a little too long, he will totally pay for it, legally, with money. He definitely won’t steal it if that's what you're thinking. But whether it's gained via dubious means or not, it's yours. David is basically a criminally inclined sugar daddy.

If you make an off comment about being hungry? You're getting food. You tell him he doesn't have to get something for you? That's too bad, it's not even a question to David, you're getting taken care of.

David just wants to provide and protect, just let the boy take care of you the only way he knows how.

Receiving: Physical affection

David is very touch starved under all that angst, pride, and daddy issues. Although he wont admit it, he needs to be given affection, badly.

Before he met you it never bothered him, he had the boys and he didn't need more than that. But when you came into his life, and you held his face in your hands? He realized how much he missed being held by another.

He's never thought highly of humanity, but your warmth pressed against him and feeling the steady rise and fall of your chest under his hand hits him in his cold, undead heart.

In public, PDA is kept at a minimum with David so he can keep up his rough and tough persona. He acts annoyed when you get clingy, but it's painfully obvious that he actually adores it. If you want to force him to hold your hand he'll complain about it, but he wouldn't dare move away from you.

In private however, all bets are off. Chairs aren't allowed, you're either on his lap or laying on top of him. Worry about his legs falling asleep? Don’t, he's already dead, they physically can't fall asleep. You aren't going anywhere sweetheart. If you're standing? He's wrapping his arms around your stomach.

If for some reason he moves his hands away while cuddling and you bring his hands back, He swears he can almost feels his heart start beating again. He finds you adorable when you're like this. It makes David smile when he sees your look of mock offense when he takes his arms away from you.

Cuddle this man. He may try to act all tough and intimidating, but he just wants to be held.

Dwayne

Giving: Acts of Service

Dwayne likes making your life easier, he's not a big talker but he knows that actions often speak louder than words.

He's a vampire, so the biggest stress factor the boys have is being found out and staked, but other than that he and the boys live a carefree life. He knows being a human is often very difficult. Picking up on your stressors and helping make your life easier is how he shows affection best.

Often if you're really busy, Dwayne will pick up food for you and make you take a break before helping you finish what you were doing. If you feel unwell in the slightest he’ll be there in a second to take care of you. Dwayne is also very tall, and will always get things down from above without even needing to be asked, it's basically a reflex at this point.

It's not uncommon for Dwayne to finish those last edits of an essay you were writing. He'd do more than that but he knows you'd be upset with him if he did. If you worry about taking advantage of him, Dwayne assures you that isn't the case. Taking that weight off of your shoulders makes him feel not only wanted, but needed.

Dwayne needs to know he's taking care of you, he's never been one to show love through words but you never go a day without feeling it.

Receiving: Quality Time

Ever since you and Dwayne became a couple, you've been the first thought in his head every morning, wanting to get feedings done sooner so he could spend time with you.

Dwayne has a lot of free time on his hands and during the time he spends with you, every possible ounce of attention you could give him was given. He adored those long conversations where you went on and on about whatever your current hyperfixation was. Even if you felt as if you annoyed him by simply rambling about a topic, he found those moments intimate and special.

Museum and Bookstore dates were very common between the two of you. Debates and deep conversations were a favorite of his, you both respected each other and your opinions.

For museums, he would watch you stare at the exhibits in wonder while he told you of what history he remembered in certain pieces. Though he wasn't too old by vampiric standards, you would ask him all sorts of questions about the eras he's lived in. He's very quiet, but it's on these dates where you can get him going.

Bookstore dates are quieter, there was one a little ways away from the hotel that stayed open later into the night. Once a week, you and Dwayne would try to get there as soon as possible and stay there until they kicked you out. You would buy (definitely not steal) books and walk back to the beach or, if it was particularly cold, back to the cave. You two would then read them and discuss the book until the next bookstore date.

Paul

Giving: Physical Touch

Paul loves giving affection, he takes offense to any moment spent without his S/O in his arms. He knows his reputation, and keeping you close shows that you're not to be fucked with. Many girls may try to get his attention, but they will never be the ones on Paul's hip and you take that as a badge of pride.

Paul enjoys the summer, his cool body is perfect for giving a lot of cuddles during that time. The colder months are heavily disliked by both you and him because of you body needing to stay warm, but Paul gives the best hugs, to the point where you begin to crave his touch.

Paul's worst fear is you feeling ignored or unloved; if you two have been physically distant he will immediately rectify it as soon as he can. This boy will never let his S/O go un-snuggled. Every time you're upset you are swept into Paul’s lap with your head tucked under his chin.

When you're at the boardwalk, your hand is always in his or his arm is around your shoulders. If you two are sitting down then you'll be in his lap. The boys may tease him about it but he doesn't mind, he's proud to show you off.

Paul is a himbo at the end of the day, he's not good with words and has said the wrong thing before, but through his actions you are shown how truly loved and valued you are to him.

Receiving: Words of Affirmation

Paul is a very literal person, he enjoys when you tell him what's on your mind, and he adores listening to you talk. Listening to you talk is the highlight of his night.

Even though Paul shows love through physicality, he needs to be told the words I love you. The first time you told him those three simple words he became pretty emotional. He couldn't remember the last time someone genuinely told him he was loved, and here you were confirming your mutual affections for each other. He's so soft for you man.

You always tell him how much he is admired and adored as you hold his face in your hands, and Paul melts every single time. He finds a lot more pride in his clothing and hair after you rave about how amazing he looks.

He values what you say above everyone else's opinion, and if you like the new thing he did with his eyeliner you notice he does it significantly more. Paul is the definition of jokester, but when you tell him what he said made you laugh he takes it to heart.

Paul loves being a vampire, but sometimes he needs you to say you aren't afraid of him. That despite what he is, you still feel safe around him. Even the toughest of people feel insecure sometimes and you're willing to do whatever he needs to feel okay again.

Marko

Giving: Physical affection

There's a reason him and Paul are best friends, sometimes a bro needs a hug. And though his motto was always ‘bros before hoes’ something was missing. There was a level of affection he longed to give, but never could.

When he met you and he was finally able to give those romantic affections, he went overboard. Always holding you and touching you in some way, you weren't let out of his grasp for weeks. Any time you needed to leave the cave to go home, Marko would whine and beg you to stay with him for a little while longer. Any time he could convince you to stay the night, he would be ecstatic.

Marko is very happy to know that someone loves him for him, and he is determined to show that in every single moment of your relationship. If you had a distant boyfriend before? Destroy those expectations, because you got the clingiest vampire in the lost boys.

He loves to scent mark on you, a giant vampire thing, it's like a drug to this angel faced sweetheart. Having his scent melding with yours as you two roam the boardwalk drives the boy insane. Marko is very possessive, and he can't help but nuzzle into your neck or wrap his arms around your torso so that everyone knows you're taken.

Much like his best friend, Marko is also a himbo. He needs you close to him and if you aren't he becomes whiny. The next time you see him, you won't be leaving his grasp any time soon.

Receiving: Gift giving

Marko is an artistic being and he appreciates gifts that have effort put into them. Things that are bought are nice, but if you spent hours making something? He doesn't care what it is, he will love it.

If you made him a bracelet, he'd wear it every day. If you paint, you'd notice pieces of art taped onto the wall, growing with every piece you make him. If you bake? What you make him is gone in a day. His favorite gifts however are the patches you make him, sewing them on and admiring the intricate detail put into each one.

Everything you make him or give him is valued, keeping anything and everything tangible in a wooden box that Marko painted himself. He protects that box with his life, keeping it in the most protected place in the cave.

If you write him letters he stores them in the box and he reads them by the fire pits when he can't sleep, which helps him get some shuteye. He treasures every little thing you give him, but to Marko, you are the true gift. Each of those momentos being a simple reminder of the wonderful being who made them.

#the lost boys x reader #the lost boys #the lost boys marko #the lost boys david #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys paul #this took me so long to complete im so sorry

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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years ago

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The Asylum

Synopsis: The U.A was a known Asylum. Known of being the current house for the most dangerous persons with the most tragocs backstorys and trauma. An universe where quirls dont exist, but heroes take the places of doctors, students are trainers and of course; villains are the pacients.

I am planning to do for all the boys I write and Shigaraki version of it (surprise shiggy stans!) Let me know if you would be interested.

Kai Chisaki:

You are currently a new doctor that the Asylum recide to take under their wing. Obviously not to good intentions. Since there is a pacient no one seems to even dare to croos his dorm room... so will you be able to tame the beast?

The limo you were in along with Nezu and the famous doctor Toshinori Yagi along with his aprendice Izuku Midoriya was sorta of glamorous... too much to your own point of view. But how could you point that out? Espevially to the ones whose kindly offered a job as soon as you got your graduation.

You were viewed as the "too kind and sensitive" to be a doctor or a psychologist, yet you still remained your ground and got your degree! And was now facing the kind hearted doctor Toshinoru himself! He was the most respected and talented doctora of all Japan, who just couldn't admire him?

The car came to an stop and Nezu gaze a hearted chickle after finsihing his cup of tea, which didn't even dropped a drop of the drink, before smilling at you as Toshinori and Midoriya helped you out.

"You two are too kind!" You spoke as the boy blushed crinsom red and laughed nervously as Nezu caught your attention.

"(L/n)-san, uou must know that despite us having the best of security measures, evil persons live on here and they can and some even will hurt you. Poor Midoriya-kun had to deal with a teenage girl around his age last week and almost got stabbed."

You widened your eyes as you saw by thhe corner of your eye the poor boy shivering at the memory as Yagi patted him by the head with a nervous chuckle.

You followed Nezu when he entered the building and found the place surprisingly intact even if hearing some shouts, psyotic laughter here and there..

"Im so sorry to not introduce the place for you (L/n)-san, but I have not only young Midoriya here but also another "student" to take care of." The man laughed as you smiled up at the man.

"I understand. Having onterns at such a young age must give some work." The blonde chuckled as he waved while Midoriya wished you a good first day at work before Nezu called you to stand beside him on a elevator and pressing the button to go down.

The number of the monitor, indicating the floors, were lowering as you arched an eyebrows until you jumped at hearing nezu giggling.

"We have floors that indicate which state our pacients mental health is... the lower the floor, the more these expecific pacients of oura need desperately for help."

"I see..." you picked your bag and took out the paste that only had the name and doccuments of your future pacient... Chisaki Kai.

A man around 20 and 25 years old that was a surgeon once, raised by a mafia boss. After being catched of by police for trying to make an unknown and forbided drug he was arrested. His adopted father had gotten ill and eventually put into a coma... in desperate to gain some blood for the elder the only with the compatible blood type of his father was his nephew... it seems that he had almost taken the blood of the girl by force due to desperation after he got out of prison...

Not even succeding on helping the old man, he got send to the Asylum after the acussation of his poor mental state. He got into a physical and heavy fight coincidentally with another pacient of here, and lost both of his arms.

He seemed also to have some sorta of OCD. His mysophobia being so advantege that not even if he comes to contact with dirty places, but even if he felt nervous or angry, hives would appear on his skin... also suffered from PTSD attacks and was paranoid, seing figures of assasinans and monster of four arms after the loss of his father and own members...

This patient is considerated one of the mosy dangerous around here even if missing both arms, now aparently substitute by prosthetics..

NOW you knew why anyone hasn't been very fond of him... the man had beaten up three of his previous doctors and almost send one to heaven.

The sound of your gulp got mixed with the ones of the doors of the elevator opening and Nezu menyioning for you to follow him on the hall.

The entire hall was super and almost shinning clean as you walked through it.

"As you saw on his file. Chisaki has a serious matter with dirt, even going as far as to almost beat our janitor after finding a piece of fry lying on the cafeteria. After that, he reveives his meal only on his room in hopes je doesn't cause such a tragity like before..."

"I see he is pretty... demanding." You muttered as Nezu stopped by a door made of Iron as he searched for a key.

"Surely, not even one of his doctors got the chance to knowing kore than his files, so I wish you to be the lucky one." The man smiled at you before pushing the door.

"... who is it?" The voice came from the darkest part of the room and you saw a hunched over form after squinting your eyes hard enough. The voice was deep and low kinda sexy even

"Chisaki. I have the honor to present you the doctor (L/n) (Y/n)-"

"Ah, another doctor I see." It came as a scratchy sigh, his head lifting up to reveal a man with gorgeous golden dull eyes and brow hair similiar to the woods of a pine, his skin pale amd the prosthetics arms shine the light of the halls back into your eyes.

This was against your own code.... but damn this man was hot.

"Is.. a pleasure to meet-"

"Lets see how much long will you last..." he said with a empty smirk before falling back to his stoic and empty expression, staring at the wall and demanding for you both to get out.

Nezu sighed as he accompanied you to outside and looked at you expectedly.

"... I think I can deal with him. He doesn't sound too bad as his files give away." You smiled at Nezu as he gave a rather relieved sigh and shook your hand in glee.

"Great! Your consulta will hlbe in his room witha bodyguard waiting outside to provide you security as he will be handcuffed for extra care."

You frowned at that as the man handed you the key and accompanied you for an tour around the whole building... Handcuffed? This was a bit extreme...

Wasn't it?

You breathed in and out as the guard was already set on post to watch over. Turning the key to open and quickly close it as instricted by other doctors and collegues.

"Hello." You greeted softly while closing the door as he stared at the table he was handcuffed with "I believe we didn't had a much pleasurable start due to Nezu there..." you seated on ths chair in front of him as he gritted his jaw.

It was silence for a bit as you sighed in sympathy.

"Listen, I have nothing here. Neither to hurt or touch you. I also took at least three showers before coming here to talk with you. I was rather excited to be honest." You smiled at him as he only arched an eyebrow up, still stoic expression.

"Foolish." He gritted through teeth as you tilted your head in confusion "You heard of me getting three people at least to the verge of death... Tell me, how cam you defend yourself from me?" His voice lowered dangerously but you still remained grounded. Surprisingly not even feeling scared.

"You mean also from the... monsters?" You saw how his muscles tightened as his eyes widened at you before narrowing them deep into your soul.

"Dont play like that. I know no one can see them... is just me."

"Well, that is true..." you leaned a bit towards him "But that doesn't mean I cant just try to understand you."

"Is that supposed to make me laugh? I dont need this stupid shit." He hissed while glaring at you.

"I suppose... but when was the last time you talked with someone though?"

It was silent... then he just sighed a bit shakily before starting to scratch the upper part of his arm...

"Get out. Now." You hummed, eviting to giggle at the shocked face he tried to hide at sieng you actually was leaving after he demanded.

"I will be back by tommorow then. Have a nice day Chisaki." You left the room and was inspected by the guard for any form of bruises or injuries and yhey were impressed.

"You're the first one that didn't got injured with that guy over there..."

"I think i just might be getting somewhere with him if I try hard enough."

Slowly but surely you got to talk with Chisaki. He still remained reserved most of the time, but as soon as you brought up the topic of a mess on the first floor was enough to make him complain about the quality of this place.

It wasn't exactly a start... but you did needed to get some sorta of trust of him on you.

One day you were about to enter the room and saw the episode everyone warned you about. His hallucinations.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" you dodged the table he threw with all the force he had near the door as you closed immediatly when you heard the bodyguard calling for others to help put Chisaki on a straightjacket.

"Get out! Get OUT! GET OUT OF HERE!" he shouted at the top of his lungs as he lunched the air and walls as you watched in wary and worry in your eyes as you tried to aproach safetly from behind.

"Chisaki-" you gasped when he almost punched you if it wasn't for your good reflexes "Chisaki listen to me!"

Ee only let out a bloody scream as he tried with all his forces to attack you before he caged you by the wall as you gagged at the metal hand on your throat.

"Chisaki.. im not here to hurt you-!" You tried to push more air into your lungs as he growled.

You tapped his shoulder out of desperation and immediatly gasped for air as he jerked away from your touch, blinking as if he had just woken up as you coughed.

When you opwned your eyes and saw him standing up, looking at you in shock you sighed in relief while getting up.

"H.. How? How did you make him to..?" He whispered while looking around the room in desperation "H-He was just... here-! He was HERE!" He shouted, his anger coming back as you walked towards him.

"Chisaki.." his amber and wrathful eyes looked into yours as you asked softly "What was in here?"

"It was.." he looked at the ground comflicted before grasping his hair with a groan "No no.. cant be... CANT BE! HE ISN'T HERE!"

"Who isn't here? Chisaki?"

"MY IDIOT FATHER!" he shouted "HAPPY NOW DOCTOR?!"

You widened your eyes as he breathed in shakily before dropping on the ground and crossing his arms to support his head.

"But... why would your-"

"Not the one in my files..." he groaned before looking at the wall numbily "My biological shitty one... an abuser. Use that to get a promotoon or whatever brat.. just leave me alone."

You furrowed your eyebrows down at him. Your heart speaking louder than your mind as you gently aproached him and seated next to him, maintaning enough distance to mantain him on a comfortable state.

"... I thought you didn't remember your biological parents." You commented as he linched the bridge of his nose.

"How could you forget someone that made your childhood a living hell?" He breathed out "I dont even know why I am even telling you this..."

"... let me guess.. abusive?" You spoke with sadness as he chuckled darkly.

"Pitying a sociopath and murder now doctor?" He brushed his fangs away "Don't. Is pathetic."

"Abusive." You confirmed as you stared at the wall he was facing at "Instrict father and negletful mother..?"

"... the man was an arrogant bastard... always beating and just taking away any sorta of ways of basic needs.. while my mother was a selfish women whose always called me a failure. A burden. A mistake... my father on one day was about to beat me up for grabbing something to eat..when I grabbed his gun to defend myself and accidentally shot him... the woman called the police on her own 5 years old child can you imagine that?" You stared at him in sadness.

No one knew his backstory. No one knew anything about him when he was under 12 years old. His archive compeltely erased... and there he was.

"The visions you have... is of him?"

"... a more like fusion or something." He groaned whipe scrwching his face "Has his face but has the arms of a beast... and four arms... other times is that Shigaraki that took my arms... others are my mother just trying to stab me or hold me down while she yells for me to... to behave..." he sighed shakily "Is the session over yet?"

You frowned before slowly aproaching him and taking his metal hand on yours as he widened your eyes.

"Is over.. but if you want i can stay here... to make sure those assholes wont be back." You smiled up at him as he stared at you like you grew three heads.

"I... I believe you have other places to be...?"

".. I enjoy having your company." You smiled again "After all, you dont deserve to be left caged alone.. You're still human after all.."

He stared at you before looking at the wall as you giggled a bit at the tips of his ears getting red as he thought over and over again.

Was he... was he really worth of being called a human?

"This new medication here might give some colateral effects, so after taking them i need you to tell me. But asides from that they will releave a but if that itchy feeling of your hives and the other will help a bit with your-"

"Hallucinations" the man completed as he analyzed the bottle only to sigh and open it later "I saw them once in the hospital I worked for."

"Oh I see!" You replied cheerfully at seing an opportunity to talk with him "I know you were an explendid surgeon."

"... kind of. Had almost a heart attack when blood was spilled on my skin now at then. Sicks.." He looked at you snorting before the hint of a smirk started to form only to dissapear as he took the two piles onto his hand.

"Uh.. You need to eat first to take your meds." You warned before he could plop the pills on his mouth... he stared deep into your eyes as he lowered them on a napkin and leaned on his chair while crossing hsi metalic arms.

"Then I guess I wont be taking it. The food of this place is horrible and disgusting. Not as much as my room." You arched an eyebrow at him before furrowing them in worry.

"What? Dont they clean your room? The halls are even shining. And what about the food?"

"Not quite." He sighed "A precary job, and some guards like to come by and dirt the place just to give me a headache... the food is just the same."

You hummed before getting up.

"Well then, I guess I have to grab somethings and demands some changes..."

"Oh, how adorable. You getting my food? Make me laugh some more doctor, Im dying to see it." He spoke on a nonchantly tone as you only poked your tongue out at him before muttering that you would be right back.

To him it seemed like hours you had gotten out and even dared to scold on how slow you must be.

"I brought you what seems to be your favorite! Not the food from the cafeteria, I swear!"

He watched in amusement and accidentaly smiled at seing you there with what was once his favorite food until he flinched at your gasp.

"I see a smile thereeeee!!!!" You pointed at his face repeatedly as he surprisingly gently slapped your hand away while taking the bag.

"You're such a nuisance." He sighed, hating how his mouth drooled.

"I washed the fork."

"But I didn't even-"

"I know you Kai." You giggled before widening your eyes and slapping your hands over your mouth in shock.

His eyes were also wide open as you felt your face heat up.

"Im so sorry! It was so unproffesional this oh my Go-"

"Is..." he interrupted you while looking at the opposite direction of yours "Alright... surprisingly my name doesn't sound... so bad when you speak... doctor."

Your eyes softened a bit as a flustered and quite a happy smile graced over your features that made him blush even more.

"Is impressive!" Toshinori and Nezu exclaimed together as they saw the progress yoh had made with Chisaki only in a matter of months as you giggled. "You're a god send (L/n)-san!"

"Please!" You waved them off in embarrassment.

"No no, none of that young one!" Yagi snorted "We decides to give you a week of vacation after such an amazing progress like that! Starting today!"

"T-Today?!"

"Yeah! Dont worry about your pacient, we will get him a substitute just to make him take the meds."

You didn't had much of a choice since they already send the poor guy over his way.

Two days... two days and you simply wasn't here. Just seing a trembling hand almost throwing the pills at him as he sighed in dissapointment. Two days and he hadn't see the face of his beautiful and pretty doctor of his... he couldn't believe it...but he was so desperately craving them. To hear her voice, to.. even feel his hand brush against hers...

He jerked up when he heard the sound of the door opening, narrowing hus eyes at seing that the doctor whose entered his room, wasn't his doctor.

"U-Uh... I-I'm here to-"

"You're." He standed up from his bed "Not." He walked close to the shivering doctor "my (Y/n)."

Before he knew it, he saw visions of you being handed and taken away by one of these monster as he shouted and beaten up the man, the security guard allerting all of the bodyguards about the pacient 14 leaving his cell and attacking others.

The alarms set off and all securities were called as he toom them down ome by one as he shouted with all the forces of his lungs:

"WHERE IS MY DOCTOR?! GIVE HER BACK!" he shouted as he took each one of them down and even managing to stab one of the doctors and one of the security guards witha freacking pen that was in the pocket of one of the pacients that was nearby.

“GET THE SEDATIVE AND THE STRAIGHTJACKET! QUICK BEFORE HE-” the poor guard had his head locked on Chisaki metal hand as he slammed him into the wall into the point it bleed.

He shouted in pain when he felt the syring on his neck, his body starting to get drownsy as he was threw down on the ground, still trying to fight until the end as he kept calling for you...

“Help me... PLEASE! I WILL BE GOOD! IM SORRY!” He shouted and cried at the same time “WHERE’S MY DOCTOR?! (Y/N)!”

He shouted your name until he had no voice or force t do so as his body gave out....

You ran after scoldng every one that tred to stop you as you searched for the key of Kai’s room.

You had received an emergency call after three weeks of your vacation and to say you were both terrified and worried was a understandement. You needed to see Kai. Just thinking about him prisioned on his room and on a jacket made you feel horrible... you even heard the possibilty of the U>A taking away his prosthetics arms due to “security measures”.

You opened the door and loghten up the lights to see Chisaki laying on his bed. A numb look towards the ceiling as you whimpered his name and went to stand close to him.

“... did you come to kill me..?” you widened your eyes as you thought the urge to tear up as you looked for the key of the straightjacket that Nezu gave it to you after your begging.

“Kai im so so sorry...” You whimpered while freeing him... HIm blinking as if he just notices your presence and moving his arms before sitting up.... looking at his metal fingers move, one by one..

“..Are you another hallucination...?” he flinched at your hand coming in contact with his cheeks ashe looked at you as if he was about to kill you right there.

“No... Kai, feel me.. I’m here. Aren’t the meds helping you anymore:”

He stared at you for a what seemed like a decade before he brushed his fingers on your cheek before choosing to bring you close on what seemed like a hug, since he coulnd’t feel with his prosthetics...

A shaky sigh leaved him as he clinged onto you.

“I... You weren’t taken away... I dont feel sick with your touch...” you hugged him back with a shaky inhale before breathing out.

“I wont be taken away... Im your doctor after all...” you buried your face on the crook of his neck and inhaled his clean scent. getting drunk by him.

You didn’t know when your lips came in contact, but they did... and you didn’t even cared about your carrer anymore, you only carried about him... you knew this man could and would get better. You just could feel it.

“You want to know something?” he whispered after the kiss as you hummed “You sound more like an angell to me. My angel.”

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki x reader #bnha villains x reader #kai chisaki #overhaul #bnha au asylum #pacient number 14 Chisaki Kai #bnha writings #bnha fanfiction #bnha fanfics #bnha villains #zuffer writings

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atqh16 · 4 years ago

Text

Take My Hand (Say You Need Me Still)

A Daredevil Fic (Matt/Foggy, Girl!Foggy. Pre-Slash)

Summary : Look, getting shot is just the New York experience. You haven’t lived unless you’ve been held at gunpoint at least once. And if you save someone doing it? Hey, bonus!

First Chapter: AO3

“I had to exist without you”,

Foggy had whispered those words as if in a trance. Face turned towards the sky as if speaking to no one in particular. Her words had been unprompted. They had been simply been enjoying each other’s company that day after a long work week and a chance to relax at a barbeque courtesy of Luke and Claire.

It was a month after Fisk and 7 before the incident at the police station. Matt remembers the both of them lying on a mattress futon and a pile of duvets on the roof of Colleens Dojo. Foggys tone had been soft but Matt was so focused on her that it was enough to drown out the other sounds around them. Luke and Danny laughing where they were manning the barbeque grill. Misty and Karen comparing notes on Jessica’s recent client which she didn’t appreciate but didn’t seem to mind enough to make them stop as she nursed her Jack Daniels on the edge of their conversation. Misty talking sports of all things with Colleen who was wholly and very competitively invested in the New York Yankees.

But they had all turned into peripheral noise to Matt. He had pushed himself up. Fully turned his body towards her. Something Matt didn’t really have to do since there was no visual component in his interactions with the people around him but Foggy had always appreciated the gesture. A sign of assurance from her best friend that his attention was completely and undividedly on her. For her. She’s always been proud of herself for being able garner that kind of reaction from him.

But at that moment Foggy herself had seemed distracted. Even without being able to see it, Matt could tell that her eyes weren’t directed at him. She felt distant. Sounded distant. A mirror of what Matt had been feeling ever since he came back.

He hadn’t really understood why at the time. After all he’d gotten everything he ever wanted. Even more. His firm, his partner, his identity and most importantly his friends. Not just Karen and Foggy. His best friend had made sure of that when she dragged him to Jessica’s place and sat outside her office slash apartment door while Jess tore Matt a new one over what he’d done and proceeded to throw him out with a door slam so hard the glass panel shook.

That night Jessica called his burner later telling him to meet her on a roof top (What is it with roof tops?) because she needed his ears and to quote her “You owe me. Your ass better be here in an hour”.

Matt was there before the hour was up with 20 minutes to spare.

“Fucking Boy scout”, Jess had muttered under her breath but Matt smiled and tossed her a brand-new grey scarf.

“It’s the cheapest one at Walmarts”, he had said but the softness of the material and the tag said otherwise.

Matt hadn’t needed prompting to show up on Luke’s apartment door next and meeting Danny at the Dojo where the millionaire had proceeded to wipe the floor with him in hand to hand.

“I let you win”, Matt had panted, trying to catch his breath.

“Keep telling yourself that”, Danny sniped back, though there was no heat in his words, as he threw him a water bottle.

Matt woke up the next day sore, bruised and unable to wipe the grin off his face when he showed up at the office that morning to an array of extremely expensive looking bouquets congratulating their re-opening and heavily perfumed because Danny Rand is a passive aggressive dick.

But it also came with a 6 digit cheque from Rand Industries so none of them were about to complain. “A gift, from Rand Industries to the Firm of Nelson and Murdock. To hopefully new and better beginnings” was written on the envelope it came with.

Matt wished it had been as easy with Foggy. Not that either of them had given any resistance in efforts of reconciliation. But there were no ‘How To’s’ they could follow telling them exactly how to do that. No guidebooks detailing the steps needed to take to rebuild a bond that had gone through so much. The awkward bubble between them seemed to only grow more and more, stretched thin and fragile and so vulnerable to the slightest touch.

Until that night when after a few bottles of beers and a feeling of relaxed contentment that only came with a full stomach, Foggy whispered her confession as if asking for contrition.

Her words, though morose, held no acrimonious judgment. But the vestige of pain in them was bare and it had twisted Matt’s insides to hear it. It was such a simple phrase but it held so much and he knew instantly that it had been something she’d been keeping quiet. Out of shame, thinking that it was something she didn’t have a right to feel. Afraid that it might make Matt more distant.

But it was an admittance that Matt had realized he needed to hear. An honest fearless truth that was not spoken to condemn but instead a plea for him to understand where she stood. For him to know she was still bearing pain that she herself found difficult to admit. So afraid that Matt would recoil from her for it. But how could he. How could he punish such fearlessness when he knows how much he had taken from Foggy?

Both of them had made mistakes, but Foggy had been so patient. Matt had already taken and asked so much from Foggy who still tried his best to welcome him back with open arms. But Foggy had never been one to tip toe around Matt about anything. A habit that could be aggravating at times but it was always a cost he had been willing to pay for the intimacy that was brought forward from it.

And this was Foggy begging Matt to have that chance for intimacy again. As if she didn’t deserve to ask for it and it was a failure on Matts part that Foggy would harbour such hesitation.

Even through all his secrets and fear, Foggys openness about where she stood in regards to Matt had always been a beacon for him. A guide to teach him how to be a friend. Lessons he’d been deprived off the second his dad died. Matt had cast out the hope of ever achieving such a relationship. Already given up early on at the thought that he could ever receive the kind of easiness that Foggy offered and it was a miracle for him that she did. A miracle that they had met in Columbia and a miracle that through all Foggys annoying habits, that he’d been open to give her a chance. A choice that he would never have made if Foggy had been anything less than who she was. She in of itself was a miracle to him and Matt was deeply torn that he had made Foggy ever feel otherwise.

“I had only ever wanted a friend”

Foggys words from the night of their huge fight came back to him and while it might have been said in less than stellar circumstances, he knows even then that it had rung with truth. Foggy had never asked for anything more. How could he have failed to give her something so simple.

After a while Foggy finally turns her face towards Matt. He tastes salt in the air but doesn’t move to address it because he needs to focus right now. To really listen and conscientious, to what Foggy was trying to say. A lack in communication had after all been their downfall. Too much resentment over kept secrets and rancorous unspoken anger.

But there’s none of that hanging in between them now. Instead, Matt heard what wasn’t spoken loud and clear.

“Don’t leave. Don’t make me go through that again. Stay. Here, with me”

Matt doesn’t think there’s anything he can say that could live up as an answer to that so instead he creeps his hand forward to grasp Foggys in a sincere hope that his own words would ring with the same vulnerable truth that Foggy had offered.

“I’ll try”

Things had gotten better afterward. The honesty Foggy openly shows was an invitation for Matt to do the same. Not a demand and Matt will forever be grateful for that. But even so Matt still walks on eggshells at first. Not knowing what he was allowed to reveal. What was welcomed and what was not. Foggy like always, had put Matt at ease the way she always could.

It starts with an open invite to a home cooked dinner where Foggy made it clear that she wanted to know more about Matt’s abilities.

“If you want that last brownie you’re gonna have to impress me Murdock and for extra motivation, it’s a corner piece”

Matt had laughed, “I’m not sure what you’re asking here Nelson. I’m not sure I want to. The last time you gave me a dare I ended up doing the chicken dance in the college cafeteria”

“Boohoo, you deserved it after that stunt you pulled with the waffle incident. I’ve still got the burn marks to prove it. Now enough excuses and man up Murdock”

The banter might have sounded harsh to a stranger’s ears but it held such a familiarity that Matt rejoiced every second and every word. But despite all that he was still so scared to ruin what they were trying to rebuilt. Scared to run Foggy off with ‘too much’.

Foggy had again, nudged him into it gingerly and with such patience that Matt hadn’t found it in him to deny her.

She asked him to talk about what he could taste in the food she’s cooked. At first Matt was afraid to criticize but Foggy had started doing so herself. Once after a dinner Chicken Paprikash of all things, she asked if Matt sensed the yoghurt that used was close to getting bad. Matt tentatively had noted that it wasn’t rancid but it was definitely way past its prime days. Foggy wasn’t annoyed, instead she breaks the tension and laughing, jabbing about how horrible some parts about Matts senses must be. About the embarrassing things he’s had to endure.

To Matt’s surprise, the topic of his abilities became a favourite thing to talk about whenever they spent time together.

“Are you saying everytime I found you staring into space in your room it was because you got contact high from your stoner neighbour 5 rooms away from your dorm?”

Matt had groaned and dropped his forehead onto his folded arms in embarrassment. It was enough of an answer Foggy needed.

“Oh my God, you turned them in! Matthew Michael Murdock you tattle tale”

“It wouldn’t be such a problem if they didn’t get stoned every night. It was barely a secret anyway. The corridor reeked from it and personally I think I did a public service”

“Did you snitch on me bringing snacks into the library too?”

“No Foggy, that was all the crumbs you didn’t bother cleaning off your dress everytime we passed the librarian. She could probably smell the Cheeto dust on your fingers a mile away”

“I knew it! You threw away my Cheetos stash didn’t you!”

“They’re like cheese dust bombs! They were more chemicals than actual food. I did you a favour”

“And here I was thinking Tanya was stealing them from my bag during civics”

“The girl who sat beside you? Oh, she stole food from you all the time. You left your bag unzipped, it was inevitable”

“And you never told me?!?!”

“Most of the things you had in there were junk food. It’s no wonder you were on a sugar high all the time”

“In my defence, Redbull and Twinkies are a perfectly good way to combat law school stress”

“Oh god the Twinkies!”

“Don’t you dare go after Twinkies!”

Just like that the tension brought from the elephant in the room that was Matts powers was broken. Foggy made a game out of Matt trying to guess all the ingredients she’s used on nights that she cooked. Matt had initially protested on the unfairness of it all but eventually stepped up to the challenge cause he’s a competitive bastard and Foggy knows it.

“How am I supposed to know what kind of nuts you used in the Pad Thai??? I can barely afford anything other than ground nuts”

“Excuses. You haven’t suggested anything else either”

“I know you used Italian basil instead of Thai”

“Whats the difference?”

“Thai basil has a sharper taste”

“And more expensive”

“Authenticity is important. We don’t want to get sued for cultural appropriation and all”

“Oh look at me, I’m Matt Murdock and I can only eat fancy organic Thai Basil”

“It doesn’t matter, I won. Now give me my brownie Nelson!”

“Bite me Murdock!”

Matt won 9 times out of 10. The game was rigged and they both knew it but they usually ended up splitting the last piece of whatever dessert they had for the night anyway so it was never really about winning. Not for either of them anyway. On nights when there were no sugary delicacies waiting for them after their meal, if Matt won, he got to pick what they did after dinner. Watch a show, listen to an audio-book, play games before he had to leave for the night for patrol. Foggy never complained except for an over exaggerated whine or two at Matts predictability.

It’s fun, intimate. They don’t just focus on the fun stuff either. Matt had wanted to get even more intimate. He was tired of carrying all his secrets and for once he was the one who took the leap to trust that foggy wouldn’t run.

So, one night Matt finds himself stumbling into Foggys apartment after patrol. It was closer and he had a concussion. He was surprised when Foggy didn’t freak out like he expected and actually knew how to handle the situation. Like she’d prepared for it. She got some lessons from Claire who owed her for helping Luke. She doesn’t talk about when she started doing it or why. Matt didn’t know if he was ready to hear the answer either.

“You know, I could always keep my window unlocked. If you ever… ya know, need to come over”

“I don’t want to wake you”

“I always sleep late anyway and besides; I’d rather know you have somewhere to go if you need to then........”, Foggy trails off but Matt doesnt need to be a psychic to know where her thoughts had went.

“I don’t want to make thing’s hard for you", he says back and they both know he didnt just mean waking her up late.

“Matt, I want to.”, Foggy had said, firmly as she smoothed the Arnica cream over his newest bruise.

Her heart had beaten with a steady thud of truth, truth, truth.

It was comforting to know that Foggy wasn’t soaked in fear and disapproval the way she used to be before, and he did come over sometimes. Once or twice a week to get his ribs bandaged properly when they were bruised or some cuts stitched. Matt can tell Foggy’s nervous and queasy about the stitching but she soldiers on anyway and it reminds him of Maggie telling him how she had done the same for his dad when they were together and the similitude makes a roll of warmth coil around his insides like a soothing balm. It feels right.

He realizes when he gets home as is drifting off to sleep, that it’s not something he’s ever had with Elektra either.

“Foggy, I need to tell you something”

“Hmmm?”

“About midland circle”

“Matt-”

“I need you to know, why I stayed. Why I didn’t try to come back.”

“Matt, you don’t-“

“Foggy please. I need to do this”

“Ok Matty. Fire away"

“It wasn’t about you, or Karen. Maybe that’s hard to believe. I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t selfish of me because it was. I hurt you. You gave me the suit and you trusted me and I let you down. But you have to know Foggy, it wasn’t because of you”

Matt had ducked his head in shame

“Truth is I wasn’t thinking about anything else at that moment. I’m impulsive, we both know that. You’ve always known that. I was so overwhelmed by the fact that she was alive that I-“

He gulped.

“Did I tell you how she died? The first time?”

“No”

“It was because of me. She took a knife to the chest for me and she died in my arms and it was my fault Foggy. It was my fault. The worst part is, she’d told me beforehand that she wanted to stay with me. She wanted to try and she died in my arms because of me. I heard her heartbeat stop and it was because of me and I couldn’t… I couldn’t move Foggy."

He remembers feeling his eyes water, struggling to keep them from flowing into streams down his cheeks. But he couldn’t stop the way his voice choked.

“And I heard her heart beat that day when I found out she was alive. The way she moved, the familiar scent of her and how warm she was whennever she was close. She was so alive and I was desperate to save her this time. When she refused to leave Midland, I couldn’t leave her behind. I couldn’t leave her alone. I couldn’t let her die because I couldn’t save her for the second time. I couldn’t foggy. Everything was falling apart around us but I held her and she was so alive. I couldn’t let that go. I’m sorry Foggy. I’m sorry I hurt you. But I can’t be sorry for staying with her”

“Matt I’m not angry”

He’d perked up at that.

“I mean I was initially. Went through all 5 stages of grief. Thought a lot about beating you up if I ever saw you again. Blamed myself for letting you go. For not giving you a stronger reason to stay-”

“Foggy-”

“I understand why you did it now. But back then all I could think about was how you’d left me. You broke your promise and you left us and I kept having nightmares of how you were probably still alive and had just fucked off to god knows where with her. It took me too long to realize I’d rather you were alive then dead even if you had”

“You had a right to say no when I asked for help. I stole your wallet. I took advantage of you the second I saw you again. It was a dick move on my part”

“Oh, trust me, it definitely was and I’m not gonna let you forget that for a very long time. You owe me so many favors. But I got you back Matt. I’d asked for only one thing ever since I lost you and I got you back. How could I turn my back on that? You’re so good Matt. I know you don’t believe it but you are. Even if I was pissed, I knew you were doing things for a good reason. I knew it was because you were helping people and I’m a damned lowlife if I even thought of turning my back on that. I’m not angry at you Matt. You’re my best friend. I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not gonna stomp off again if we get into another huge fight. But I can promise I’ll always try to come back. Maybe it’s not right for me to ask you to trust that. I know enough about your past to know that’s not an easy thing for you to do……...”

“You’re the one person I trust the most, Foggy”

“Karen-”

“- is a good friend. But she hasn’t stuck around and followed me into making stupid decisions for the past ten years of my life. If there’s anything I regret, it’s not trusting you with my secrets. For hurting you with them. If there’s anything I’d redo it would be that”

“We don’t know if I would’ve been open to accepting that back then. Heck, I don’t even know what I would’ve done if you did tell me. You had good reason to worry”

“After everything, I should’ve taken the chance. There’s no one I trust more in this a world than you Foggy. Maybe that’s hard to believe considering how many promises I’ve broken. But I’m going to do everything I can to keep this one"

“…… Thank you, Matt”

It had taken everything in him to admit it, but after all they’d been through. After all Foggy had given him. Foggy had earned the right to it. That part of him. He expects to feel fragile and small afterwards but instead he feels lighted. Just like before, it felt right. This was the path they were destined to be on. The path they both have worked hard for. Foggy had returned his vulnerable revelation by sidling up to him. Intertwining their fingers and leaning to the side to place a soft peck on his temple. Matt couldn’t find it in him to pull away. They stayed that way in silent comfort until they’d both nodded off. Her head fitted to the crook of his neck and Matt’s own resting on hers.

Matt had woken up first the next morning to Foggys head on his lap. A soft and unladylike snore whistling pass her lips and he remembers how it had annoyed him to no end through their first year of law school, on nights when Foggy had fallen asleep from exhaustion on Matt’s bed after a night of unending studying with him in his room. But after a while it had become a familiar comfort, accompanied by the beating thrum in her chest. An unexpected lullaby especially on nights when both of them were overwhelmed. Matt had a single room and Foggys roommate was never around, preferring to stay at her boyfriend’s place most nights. They switched between each other’s room every other night, more and more often but it never felt invasive.

Matt hopes Foggy knows how important her presence had been for him at the time.

He hadn’t attempted to wake her up that morning from her peaceful slumber even as his legs felt numb from the weight. Instead, and he stupidly hadn’t realized why he’d done it at the time, he found himself gliding his knuckles on her cheek, realizing in that moment how long it had been since they’d been this close. How much he had missed it. Touch starved in a way he hadn’t felt in a long while since they met.

This progress, this newly attained intimacy doesn’t stop. There is a relief in being able to talk to his best friend again about every part of him that he had always feared she wouldn’t accept. Not just about the heavy, things either. Even the small, minute, careless details.

To Foggys credit, she bares herself raw the same way he does.

“How did you get so good at cooking?”

“I take offence to that. I was always a talented cook”

“Pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches maybe.”

“Hardy har. And you can boil an egg, good for you.”

“Seriously, curry noodles? I didn’t think you even knew where the spice section was”

“It was… it was actually after Midland. I couldn’t sleep sometimes and I’d stay up watching cooking channels and I gave in and just started actually making them myself. I started small but I got used to handling things after a while. It was actually… therapeutic”

“Foggy…. I-“

“Matt stop, seriously. I meant what I said. I’d rather have a life with you and all the adrenaline fueled bullshit, then a quiet life without you. Always. So, don’t worry, ok? We’re good. I promise”, Foggy had ended her little speech by reaching out to tap her fingers in a comforting rhythm on his knuckles and Matt had asked himself for the hundredth time since he got back, what he’d done to deserve such loyalty.

“Also you’re washing the dishes and paying for lunch tomorrow”

Matt had let out a burst of laughter, “Haven’t I been paying for lunch anyway?”

“And you’ll keep paying for lunch until further notice. Besides, you’re getting a free home-cooked dinner almost every other night so I’m not going to hear a peep out of you”

He’d raised his hands in a mollifying gesture, “No arguments here”

“And none of that healthy stuff too”

“Damn"

The catholic part of him that latched on to guilt too close, wasn’t satisfied. Not even close. He’d done too much, made too many mistakes. He didn’t deserve what Foggy and even Karen for that matter, were giving him. A step onto green grass that promised him sanity in exchange for something as simple as him pulling down his walls for them. To not push them away. And if that’s what Foggy asked for then Matt was going to teach himself to give it to her, even as he he itched from old habits to pull back behind said walls.

It takes 6 months for them to go through all the unsaid baggage that had been floating in the water like leftovers from crash created by their past mistakes. But at the end of it all, Foggy poked her head into his office again and told him to hurry up if he wanted her to do any actual cooking.

“I feel like I’m being sabotaged”,

“You don’t need me to do that”

“Well, that’s not very helpful”

“I mean, I didn’t tell you to try make dinner rolls from scratch, did I?”, Matt had said with a tone of faux pettiness.

“That was not my fault! I didn’t know cats could smell the yeast all the way from the alley! Ruined a perfectly batch of dough. I spent 20 minutes kneading!”

“I told you to close the window. Fair is fair, I didn’t know cats liked yeast either, I’ll give you that. So, what’s on the menu tonight?”

“Well, you made Italian last week and I’ve been exchanging gossip with Mrs Yong for a while now….”

“Getting tips from your Vietnamese neighbour is cheating”

“Do you want to eat or not?”

“I’m guessing Pad Thai?”

“Couldn’t afford your oh so expensive cashews that you just have to have. Its Pho!! We are having Pho tonight! I spent 6 hours simmering a potful when I was going through the Jenner case last week and now, I’ve got enough frozen pho in my freezer to serve 8! I mean, I did have enough for 8. It’s more like 3 now. Maybe 3 and a half”

“Is that what you were passing to Karen and Mrs Adli yesterday?”

“Karen needs to eat more if she keeps spending her nights consorting with Jessica Jones. God knows what diet Jones is on. I gave Karen extra to pass to her so hopefully she’ll see it as incentive to keep giving us tips. We definitely can’t afford her”

“I’m sure you can charm a few more favours out of her. And Mrs Adli?”

“Oh yeah, her kids sick were with the flu and from what Mrs Yong told me, Pho has magical healing powers that can beat chicken soup any day”

“You didn’t eat the rest, did you?”

“Boo hoo, shame on you. Unlike you, I know how to bribe our friends. I gave some to Claire and Brett. He looked like I was trying to poison him”

“To be fair you did once”

“I was 5! He wanted to play Mommies and Daddies and I might have been overzealous about preparing dinner”

“You know if he finds out you told me he’ll have you thrown in Rykers himself”

“Which is why if you want any of that Pho yourself, you’ll keep yourself quiet you dick”

The air between them had turned so light and easy. Every morning Matt woke up beaming with joy at the simple thought of being able to just be with her so close throughout his day and every night he was lulled to sleep by the memories left from it.

There were no more walls. No more fear or doubt. Not with her. Not anymore.

“I went to see Maggie today.”

“Yeah? How is she? I haven’t met her yet”

“She’s fine. She wanted to wish me Happy Birthday”

“That sounds nice”

“Yeah……. She gave me her ring. The one my dad gave her. It was one of the few things she had from my dad and she wanted me to have it”

Foggy had stayed silent for a moment before responding, “That was nice of her”

“Yeah. It’s nothing fancy. Doesn’t have a diamond or anything. It’s just a smooth gold band. But she said my dad saved up for months to get it. It sounds just like him. She wanted to talk with me a bit longer but I just…. Couldn’t. I think I hurt her feelings when I left”

“You don’t owe her anything Matt.”

“It was rude”

“Matt, hey, I need you to listen ok. I need you to listen to my heart. Are you listening?”

Matt remembered how his throat had tightened so he had just nodded to the question.

“I love you Matt. You’re my best friend. I will always love you. But you need to know, hey, listen buddy. You need to know that you never have to earn that from me. Not from me, not from Maggie, not from Stick, not from anybody”

“I could’ve tried harder”

“You shouldn’t have had to. You were just a kid”

“Didn’t stop them from leaving”

“And it was their fault, not yours. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

“I’d asked them to make it stop.”

“What?”

“It was after Midland. There were two guys, trying to hijack a car. I couldn’t beat them so I asked them to make it stop. To just.. end it.... end me. It was so pathetic Foggy-”

Mat hadn’t realized she’d moved from her seat until her arms were around him. Her grasp was gentle but Matt got the feeling that hell or heaven couldn’t tear her away no matter how hard they tried.

She was on her knees beside him where he was sitting on the couch. One hand pulling his body to her chest and the other caressing the side of his head. Nose buried in his hair, whispering softly, “No Matty, no. Never. God, you’re so good Matt. So brave. So strong. It’s ok to not be sometimes. I’m here. I promise. I’m right here”

For some reason, Matt had let out a startled laugh but he had felt something wet streaming down his face and suddenly he was choking on sobs. His own arms folded around her middle and he lets go. Lets himself sink into her, head buried into her shoulder, not thinking even for a second that it would be enough to cover up how loudly he was crying. But Foggy hadn’t said a word. Once upon a time he might have felt indignant at the idea of being so vulnerable with someone like that. He hadn’t been this open since Elektra and look how that turned out. Elektra herself had been different. He loved her. He still loves her. Loves how comfortable he felt in her presences. Unguarded and free.

But unguarded and comfortable was different than allowing himself to feel and appear weak. To let someone see the broken and jagged pieces that made him who he was and not be afraid to be judged for it. Elektra never made him feel like home. At least not the kind of home his dad had given him as a kid. Safe. At ease.

Loved.

They fell asleep that night like that. Lying on the couch, Foggys arms wrapped around him tights and close. His head tucked in the dip of her clavicles. Curled into her and knowing with absolute certainty that she wouldn’t ever let him go.

Matt woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes and the annoying tap of Foggys fingers on his cheeks.

“Wake up sleepyhead. The pancakes are getting cold and I don’t want to hear you whining about it”

For a second Matt had refused to open his eyes even as the corner of his lips were pulled up.

“Five more minutes mom”

“Very funny. Catch me making you breakfast again you ungrateful prick”

Matt had let out a disgruntled groan but relented to push himself up with an over exaggerated stretch.

“You owe me groceries for this”, Foggy sing songs, pushing a plate stacked with pancakes, dripping with an unhealthy amount of syrup just the way Matt liked it. It’s one of his most unhealthiest guilty pleasures but fuck him if every bite didn’t have him melt with sinful pleasure.

“It’s the least you could do with how you had half my ass hanging off the couch last night”, Foggy continues as she digged into her own stack.

“It’s not my fault your apartment is so warm. I was practically cooking”, Matt had clapped back but was half-hearted and said through a juvenile muffled mouthful of his breakfast.

“Price of being the little spoon my friend”

Matt indulged her with an eye roll but he’s much too distracted with his breakfast to keep up the banter. Foggy sneakily pushes the extra plate pancakes forward followed by the bottle of organic syrup that was way too obscenely expensive for her budget but so very worth it to see Matt light up animatedly with a child-like glee at the taste of it on his delicate taste buds.

They had continued their banter a bit more over a steaming cup of coffee and all the while Matt realizes in that moment that he felt truly and incandescently happy with his life and where he was then compared to how where he was just six months before and a large part of it was because of Foggy. Karens acceptance of him had been great. But foggy knew him more than anyone. It’s Foggy that despite their decade long friendship, he’d disappointed and hurt and let down over and over and the fact that Foggy was still there, a constant unerring affirmation of his worth. That if there was someone in his life that could love and stick around the way foggy had then life was definitely worth living no matter what it threw at him. Foggy who’d given something no one else had. Not even Elektra.

Matt truly and utterly realize that Foggy at that moment, after so much time and effort on both their parts, truly knew him better now, more than anyone ever did. And with it Foggy had given him something he hasn’t felt since his dad died

And its not just the happiness. It’s a deep rooted and affection of what they have. Of what they’ve built through it all. . It’s a fondness. Its an appreciation. It’s a love that has driven right down to his core, so deep that its become part of his being. Its… wait… oh…. OH….. oh shit.

#foggymatt #foggy nelson #matt murdock #Daredevil #mine #my writing

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shihalyfie · 4 years ago

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Out of curiosity, I’ve noticed you don’t touch on tri, any particular reason? I know a lot of fans myself included don’t care for it but I don’t wanna assume that’s the case

I had a feeling I was going to get this question eventually, and I tussled with myself for quite a while on whether I should answer it publicly or privately, since this is a blog I’d like to mostly dedicate to appreciating the nuances and themes within Adventure and 02 and how carefully they handled all of the topics within, and I’d like to hold back on negativity for the most part (just because I talk about there being a meaningful reason behind most creative decisions in Adventure and 02 doesn’t mean I necessarily like all of them, I just don’t feel like this is the place to be adding those kinds of personal sentiments, because this is meant to be an analysis blog, not a review blog). That said, my meta has been getting a lot of traction lately (thank you so much! I really appreciate it!) and I do feel like this question must have crossed people’s minds at some point since it is a bit of an elephant in the room, so I think people have the right to know the answer.

To those of you reading this who are fans of tri., I sincerely apologize, since some less than kind things are going to be in this answer (although I do hope that maybe the tag would have successfully caught in some blacklists for those trying to avoid this kind of negativity).

The short version of the answer is that “I couldn’t get it to work, and I don’t have the energy to do it.” The long version of the answer is that I did actually try to analyze and pick apart tri. in detail a year ago, but unlike with Adventure and 02, where looking at it deeply and trying to extract details out of it revealed that a lot of it did make sense or at least have a reason behind it, looking at tri. with this level of depth made it fall apart even more. The contradictions and things that don’t make sense aren’t just one or two things you could safely ignore like with, say, Armor Evolution to the Unknown or Tag Tamers or Hurricane Touchdown, but practically permeate the entire text of it (and this is especially the case when you bring 02 into play, but even if you were to isolate Adventure into a vacuum, there are too many things that still don’t make sense), and it’s on every level as well; not just plot and worldbuilding, but also meaningful theme.

In the end, I don’t think this is just something that can be chalked up to mere happenstance, and I think the core of the problem is something that can be accurately summarized in the story of the two tri. scriptwriters who were fans of the original series, but kept getting their scripts rejected because it wasn’t “mature” enough. It’s not limited to just this incident, and it permeates a lot of the sentiments behind what you hear in tri. staff testimony -- a constant sentiment that the original series was a “kids’ show” that didn’t go into any kind of meaningful depth, and that the new series was meant to be “mature” in comparison. This is very, very painful for me to read, as someone who adores the original series because it had a significant level of depth and nuance that so many kids’ shows at the time wouldn’t even dare (and sometimes even to its detriment, since I’ve often complained how the series was too subtle for its own good, or kept going into things that would go over its target audience’s heads) -- contrast the statement about 02 that they wanted it to be a lighter series at first, but felt that it would be wrong to shy away from important things they wanted to say.

The entire premise of the series doesn’t work if you take even a single Adventure episode into account (45, which singlehandedly dismantles most of how tri. is even supposed to work), and there’s this thread of acting like the morality of killing/the morality of friendly fire was somehow new to this series when it comprised a whole quarter of Adventure and nearly the entirety of 02, and with so many other sentiments like this, the only conclusion I can reach is that they cared so much about that “maturity” that actually paying any mind to the series it was meant to be a sequel to was that low on the priority list. For me, who's mainly here to pay respect to the level of detail and thought and depth that the original Adventure and 02 staff put into their series, it just feels unfair to expect me to bend over backwards and compromise the integrity of the analysis just to make it “comply” with a series that never intended to be consistent or make sense in the first place.

Even if you do selectively include tri. elements, the more you try to involve, the more all of the contradictory facts and themes between Adventure/02 and tri. come into conflict like two magnets with the wrong sides facing each other, and you are repeatedly going to come into crossroads where you will have to commit to one over the other. At that point, the sheer level of speculation and workarounds to make it happen, and the things you'd have to toss out or modify from what was originally meant to be a comprehensive analysis, make it into less of an analysis and more headcanon and fanfiction. Which is perfectly fine if you want to go that route, I mean -- it's just that this isn't what this blog is for, because I'm trying to analyze and inspect what (the very uniformly consistent) Adventure and 02 were trying to say before another series (one that clearly had zero fundamental interest in maintaining any of that) came around fifteen years later. I include Kizuna mainly because it is incredibly easy to fit in comparison, given that it not only had original staff, but also is clearly made with just as much attention to detail and focus on meaningful theme as the original series was, and so it’s fairly easy to integrate it into an Adventure/02 analysis without much trouble -- in fact, Kizuna additions conversely often enhance and further elaborate on things that were already in the original series, so the helpful additions it adds far outweigh the work it takes to include it -- but that’s not the case for tri. at all.

Nevertheless, as I said, this is not a blog meant to focus on negativity. There are people who found something in tri. that spoke to them, or don’t really put so much weight into what the staff said or thought, and would like to see it in a way that works for them. I personally encourage this sentiment; just because I happen to be someone who treasures Adventure and 02′s integrity so much that I refuse to compromise does not mean I should inflict these feelings on others who don’t see it the same way. Because of that, I personally felt it was better to simply not cover it, rather than derailing every single analysis to make an aside about everything about tri. that doesn’t make sense, because that’s also going to be hurtful to anyone who does like one or more of the series and wants to make it work. But, after all, this blog is my personal analysis and way of seeing the series, and I cannot see it in a way that makes it work (and especially don’t have the energy to make an attempt for something I do in my free time), and so I would rather just pass the baton to those who feel more up to it instead; in other words, I’m not trying to invalidate tri.’s existence for those who want to make it work, and rather my stance is “I can’t figure out a way to make it work myself, so I will leave the reasoning to you.” Moreover, I’ve implied this a few times, but a lot of the ideas on this blog or in any of my analyses are not things I came up with on my own, but from sharing ideas and having discussions with friends in my private time, and I feel like I would be doing them a disservice by weaponizing all of the insightful things they’ve given me to dunk on something else. I love 02 a lot, and one of its major themes was trying to make the most positively productive thing you can out of what you have, and advocating for people to maybe appreciate something they may not have thought about before feels like a better use of my time.

If you are interested in my analysis of tri. from last year, I still keep it on hand mainly because -- well, to be frank about it, nearly every tri. diehard fan I’ve had a personal encounter with has said some very nasty things to me about how I’m not “smart” enough to appreciate the series, or how I’m being “unfair” about it, or how I’m not a “real fan” for not singing its praises, and so I mainly put this together as a collected document and proof of how I (and the few others who helped me put it together) did actually make due diligence and put proper scrutiny into trying to make it work (and couldn’t). (If you happen to identify as a tri. diehard fan and have not said this kind of thing to people, I sincerely apologize and want to make clear that I don’t want to pin the entire tri. fanbase as this kind of person; this was just my personal experience.) I wrote it mainly as catharsis and for the sake of other people who were interested in a detailed analysis, and also for the sake of other people who might have gotten these kinds of dismissive insults and wanted confirmation that their feelings weren’t baseless, or for bridging the gap between people who did like the series but want to understand why there are people who don’t (this apparently was a testimony from a few people who read it). That’s also why I’m linking it right now, since I imagine that there might be people curious about said aforementioned analysis after I’d just brought it up. However, I do warn that there is a lot of frustrated negativity, and that there is a sense of bias in that I wrote this “going in with doubt” instead of the more positive attitude I have with Adventure or 02 in that I assume there was a good reason for everything, and, frankly, if you like tri., I don’t actually suggest reading it or bringing that kind of negativity about something you like into your view. I also ask that people understand that the linked document is where I dumped all of my feelings cathartically and I do not enjoy dwelling on it further, nor bringing up this document when it doesn’t feel necessary, so I apologize, and I hope the stance I just expressed won’t taint anyone’s opinion of me too much...^^

#tri negativity #jollyshitshow #long post #digimon adventure tri (tagging this to catch filters but please don't put it in the main tag)#shiha's ask box

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bao3bei4 · 4 years ago

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i have basically covered the material in this post several times on my twitter. but this is, in my opinion, the only s*xy t*mes with w*ngxian take you need.

(cw transphobia, transphobic slurs, antiblack racism, mentions of csa and bestiality in fiction)

edit 6/10/21: hi! i’m realizing people are still reading this! this was written in response to aja romano’s vox article on the fic that was published in late february of this year. i had been frustrated with how their article seemed to miss the point in many ways, because they never talked about the substance of the fic. which, i mean, fair. i wouldn’t want to read a 1million word fic either.

but i already had, so i thought i’d write about some things that i believed needed to be part of the conversation. namely, that its author wasn’t a harmless troll, but a person i genuinely disliked who i believed should be deplatformed.

i think virtual1979 is a bad person.

i think a lot of people mainly know about sexy times the phenomenon more than they do sexy times the fic itself. i have the dubious honor of being one of the few people who has actually read large portions of the million word fic, and that’s why i wanted to write this meanspirited hit piece.

the fic is down right now and the author’s notes and comments have both been deleted, which is why i cannot provide screenshots. however, these are all quotes i have saved from when the fic was online, and i’m happy to talk with anyone if you feel any of these quotes are mischaracterizations of the fic.

i also want to be clear this is not a “callout post” and i’m not trying to “cancel” them or whatever. i am just explaining why i don’t like them, why i don’t feel bad they’re being harassed, and why i do not find them sympathetic at all, and perhaps why you should also adopt these stances.

let’s start with transphobia.

sexy times with wangxian is transphobic. this much is apparent from the tags. virtual1979 tagged the following: F*tanari, d*ckgirl, Sh*male. they use this language in the chapters that include a character with both a vagina and a penis.

they refer to this character (wei wuxian) with the pronouns “he-she.” the following excerpt is a fair representation of how this wei wuxian is referred to in the chapters where wei wuxian has a vagina and a penis.

[Lan Zhan] would never be turned on by a female, and he would actually be turned off by a drag queen - but this… this Wei Ying, it’s Wei Ying, and he-she looks [...]

i know these words are common in porn categories, but they are also slurs. virtual1979 also uses hermaphrodite to refer to this set of anatomy, which is not strictly a slur, but definitely a stigmatizing choice of language.

they have repeatedly made clear they are not open to criticism. they have also since removed the comment section. making an intersex character for the express purpose of using transmisogynistic language towards them in your million word porn fic isn’t annoying the way their tags are, it’s actively fucked up.

fanfiction has a transphobia problem, and if we’re talking about sexy times with wangxian in any capacity, we must be clear: sexy times with wangxian is part of that problem too.

secondly, virtual1979 is also complicit in ao3’s racism problem.

i think the way they write about chinese characters and settings is annoying and racist, but they are a malaysian chinese person, so i do have some sympathy for them. i am committed to having some patience for people who are annoying if they themselves are working through the prejudice they have faced.

they’ve commented as much:

Not gonna lie, this fic has been a steep learning curve for me despite my roots being Chinese as well, but I have absolutely zero knowledge in some of these aspects!

and i’m happy on some level they can get in touch with their roots. who among us has not been cringe and diaspora. any criticisms i have of their portrayal of chinese people will stay private and be made to other people of color.

i’m going to be clear here i don’t think the actual comment they made makes them super evil or anything. but this essay IS clearly in response to That Article, which did mention racism in fandom. so.

i think we have all seen the infamous karen comment they made, in which they compared people who criticized their tagging with “Karens,” equating antiblack state violence to... mean comments on ao3? and “SJWs,” which, eye roll. no ageism but you’re 41 why the hell are you complaining about sjws

anyway. i am deeply frustrated by the co-option of the word karen. a stand-in for a particular type of racist violence white women specifically can and do inflict has become fused with that reddit-type mommy issue “can i speak to the manager” internecine white resentment.

so their trivialization of antiblack racism is another reason i don’t like them. again i KNOW it’s petty to point this out here, but this to me shows that virtual is afflicted with the same kind of fandom brainrot that aja is, where everything comes back to that same sort of self-centered bullshit.

sorry for that jab. julian told me that aja thought that cql was about callout culture and all i could think was “wow! just like virtual thinking that--” because i also have spent too much time on twitter this week.

this is just like. part of this ongoing pattern i’ve noticed with virtual, where they’re aware enough of real problems to acknowledge they exist (police violence, accessibility issues caused by their tagging) but are determined to double down on their minor relative persecution as king, shittily drawing parallels between like... real problems and fandom problems. equating the two or allowing the second to take priority over the former is like... par for the course for this type of person!

third, this is just another clarification on more parallels between ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on by That Article.

i would rather DIE than get into discourse. but why did they write this sentence:

Lan Zhan’s rational mind finally broke with a tsunami of pedophilic lusts [...]

by the way that is the start of a 430 word sentence. and yes this fic does contain hundreds of thousands of words of aged down wei wuxian. make of that what you will.

also why would you make wei wuxian teach baby chickens how to sexually pleasure him. do you hate these characters. what’s going on. i think mxtx should be able to sue virtual for that one.

there’s a very obvious connection between mainstream ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on in That Article. sexy times contains multitudes and some of those multitudes are bestiality and explicit childfucking.

this is not unrelated to fannish culture, they are not unfamiliar with fannish norms, blah blah blah. this is just normal fandom. they’re not subverting shit, they’re just a normal fan who unlike 99% of fanfiction writers on twitter, spends more time writing than posting. this has taken their fannish tendencies to cartoonish heights.

finally, they don’t care about mdzs or wangxian. they’re literally just horny and spiteful that’s it. this isn’t a question of like... “ohh they were a good faith participant in fandom until they went joker mode” and the REAL villain is society/ao3. like no they wanted to write shitty porn, and when they found out they were annoying people, they decided to double down because they could be the main character of the mdzs ao3 tag every time they found a spare hour to write.

here are some select receipts on that topic:

they do not care about canon:

MDZS has quite a complicated and expansive plot and history, and enough content that one can choose to tune out certain parts and still get to the end of the story in one piece. Also, because of its source, some fans may not fully realize the nuances, cultural aspects (ooh, cultural appropriation is another triggering topic) or the full breadth and depth of the source material, such as a person like me, who is half-baked in terms of knowing what the canon universe is all about. So I end up playing with characters and settings technically borrowed from the story, and make them do things that would otherwise run counter to the original source material - and that draws quite some flak from those opinionated people I mentioned just now. It's part of what makes the fandom toxic. It's like they're the self-appointed guardians of the source material and they act like they own the rights to question such questionble fanworks, and dare I say, try to take down those that cross certain lines too.

they are just horny:

After that giddines of extra drunken Lan Wang Ji scenes at the beginning, I'm blessed with Lan Wang Ji (Wang Yibo's, actually) fuzzy nips! Bless Bless Bless, and Amen! muahs the nips on the screen

anyway they did get nuked over wishing covid on people.

so yeah. i want to be really clear. this is my thesis: i do not feel bad for them. you should not either. i do not like them. you should not either. that’s ALL!!!!

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solartranslations · 4 years ago

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VF Lesson 4: Fluffy Punishment

It is not allowed to go against the Family laws…the ones receiving judgment today are…

~*Scene: Conference Room*~

Jolly: The starting card, “Il Matto”

Liberta: Yup

Jolly: The 1st card, “Il Bagatto”

Ash: Yeah

Jolly: The 4th card, “L’Imperatore”

Dante: Mhm

Jolly: The 9th card, “L'Eremita”

Debito: Yeah

Jolly: The 11th card. “La Forza”

Pace: Here…

Jolly: The 13th card, “La Morte”

Nova: Yes

Jolly: The 14th card, “La Temperenza”

Luca: Here…

Jolly: And, I, the 18th card, “La Luna”

Jolly: We are all here

Everyone: Yes…

Jolly: Then, we shall begin repentance

Jolly: Under the rule of the 21st card “Il Mondo”, we have served Regalo today

Jolly: But, one of us, has made an undesirable choice

Jolly: In order to determine the identity of the guilty one ––. In accordance with the laws of Arcana Famiglia…

Jolly: It shall be resolved by the cards

Jolly: The ones who will speak are not us, but the cards. Understood…

Jolly: Now…show the one who will receive judgment with the cards

Ash: “The Moon”… / Everyone else: “The Magician”…

Jolly: It’s seven to one for, “The Magician”…

Jolly: Tonight’s sinner is you, “Il Bagatto”!

(*shock) Ash: Me!? Wait a minute! I just joined, so why is it me!

Jolly: Just joined…? Hmph, that caused your ruin, “Il Bagatto”

Dante: Unfortunately for you, everyone seems to be in agreement here

Ash: But why is it me? I didn’t do anything to any of you!

Ash: I usually just look for books in the study, and stay in my room or ship otherwise… I barely even see you

Ash: So why am I getting punished?

(*glare) Luca: That’s why!

Ash: Huh?

Luca: Ojou-sama was extremely worried about you lately

Liberta: About how you weren’t that close with us

Ash: Isn’t it my choice whether I do that or not?

Nova: She’s a meddlesome person. So whether you wanted to or not, she decided that you needed to

Ash: So you’re saying…that’s why we had a tea party?

Pace: Exactly! That tea party was Ojou’s idea

Debito: Isn’t it nice to have Bambina worry about you~…?

Ash: I never asked for that! And besides, how does that make me the sinner?

Jolly: *chuckle*… Having a tea party isn’t the problem. It’s afterwards…

Ash: Afterwards?

Dante: The problem was when you turned into a tiger during the party

Ash: Huh…that? I turned into a tiger because Strawberry Head she wanted to see…

Luca: Are you going to turn into a tiger every single time she asks?

Ash: Didn’t you push me into doing it too!?

Luca: I did, but… I just didn’t expect Ojou-sama to… to be so happy…

Ash: Wh-what…

Everyone: We were jealous!

Jolly: That’s why

Ash: …What!?

Liberta: It’s been so long since we saw Ojou smile like that!

Nova: Yes, she looked considerably happy

Liberta: And you got to be so close to her! It’s not fair~

Ash: You’re calling that not fair…

Luca: Ojou-sama has always loved animals and is very kind

(*glare) Luca: So how dare you seduce her using your tiger form!

Ash: Hey! Don’t put it so misleadingly!

Debito: Yeah, you had Bambina’s arms wrapped around your neck too…

Debito: So you felt how warm she is, right?

Pace: Exactly. Which is not something you should feel proud of or anything…

Ash: It’s normal! Everyone does that with animals!

Dante: It’s admirable that you were able to remain calm while being embraced by a girl your age!

Ash: Sure is! Wait…why are you praising me while wanting to punish me!

(*smirk) Jolly: The fact that you can turn into a tiger is very interesting. I’d love to use you as an experimental subject

Ash: Now we’re really off topic! I am not going to be your guinea pig!

Jolly: Hmph…how unfortunate

Ash: …Seriously, what’s wrong with you

Jolly: *chuckle*… we’re all just unique. The Family is full of people with strong personalities

Ash: Unique…don’t you mean weird?

Jolly: You can complain as much as you like after your punishment

Jolly: As the advisor, I just can’t ignore your worries

Ash: My worries are caused by all of you in the first place, though?

Dante: Hm. I don’t have a comeback for that. Hahaha

Ash: …Whatever. Let’s just get this punishment over with

Jolly: Then, here is tonight’s punishment

Jolly: Look over here, “Il Bagatto”

(*rustle)

Ash: What…wh, a mirror!?

(*glint)

Ash: Uwah!?

(*grrrr)

Jolly: Now, I can research you…

Liberta: I wanted to try petting you too! Your fur just looks so soft and fluffy!

Nova: I must also see what exactly it was that made her so happy

Debito: *chuckle* Hey, don’t run. You didn’t mind Bambina, so what’s wrong with us?

Pace: You let Ojou touch you so much, so you don’t mind if we do too, right?

Luca: I’ll have you promise that you will never become a tiger in front of Ojou-sama again!

Dante: Hahahaha! You can leave the animal handling to me!

(*reach) Jolly: Now, let’s begin

~*Scene: Hallway*~

Felicita: *walking*

Felicita: ?

(*dash)

Liberta: Hey! Wait!

Pace: Wait up! Ash!

Jolly: *chuckle*…What a brilliant escape

Luca: Oh? Ojou-sama. What are you doing here?

Luca: We actually made Ash turn into a tiger, but he ran away…

Debito: I wanted to doll him up with a ribbon, so this is too bad

Dante: I was curious about his fangs and wanted to take a look, but he ran off

Jolly: I’m disappointed as well. I wanted to see if any item besides apples could undo his transformation…

Nova: Hm…? It looks like he’s back

(*roar)

Dante: He seems to be quite upset. That roar sounded angry

Pace: Huh! Won’t we get eaten if he’s like this?

(*glare)

Luca: Yes, that roar…truly does sound angry

Debito: Well, I guess he would be

Nova: The tiger is a fierce and noble beast that is said to have faced off with the legendary dragon. We shouldn’t underestimate it…

Liberta: Why are you saying that so calmly, Nova? We gotta run!!

(*step) Jolly: Hmph…they know it’s Ash in there. So there’s no need to run

Jolly: I’ll take my leave as well. The tiger is not in good mood today. Perhaps I’ll bring some apples and ask directly next time

Jolly: You can feed him this apple if you like. I’m sure Ash would like it to come from you

(*grrrr)

Felicita: !

(*bite)

(*pulse)

(*rustling) Ash: I can’t believe them…

Felicita: *sigh*

Ash: Don’t look so worried. It’s not like I’d hate them over something like this

Ash: …But…you bet I’ll be getting even with them next time…

Felicita: *sigh*

~*End of Scene*~

(Back to Directory)

#episode #arcana famiglia #vascello fantasma no majutsushi #solar translations #psp game #translation #releases #guys that is a whole ass tiger #that you all just made very mad

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thebonggirll · 4 years ago

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Chapter 27 - Awkward

Chapter 26

The last day of internship turned out way emotional that Y/N expected it to be. Baiji was bawling like a baby and her sidekick didn't nag her to be professional for the first time. Mostly because she didn't expect the interns to be so daring and different from the other ones. Oikawa was trying to act indifferent and manly but almost teared up when they arrived at the station. Everyone promised to keep in touch with each other.

Y/N's school started right after their internship. She filled in about how they started texting each other which felt extremely suspicious to Kyoka, but she was happy about the progress. Her eyes often went towards the door, waiting for that hot headed blond to enter the class. All of this progress was fine to her but, she wasn't sure if they were supposed to act like they were before or just talk to each other naturally. She knew how he acted in front of his squad whenever she talked to him. He felt embarrassed to talk to her and mostly avoided her in school.

"You know it's kind of weird how he suddenly did a 180 and started talking to you. I mean, he literally calls everyone an extra except for his own squad," Kyoka said to her.

"To be honest, I find this weird too. But it's nice to talk to him. He's funny sometimes and it's fun to tease him. He gets riled up so fast," Y/N said.

"Oh my god, you sound like you're went out with a guy on a date and now you're giving me review about the guy," Kyoka chuckled, "do you still blush?"

Y/N scoffed and said, "Shut up, you blush while talking to Kaminari. I've noticed it too."

"I blush when I wear skirt too, he's not special," Kyoka said, trying to defend herself, her cheeks going pink.

"Sure, you must be speaking the truth with that blush on your face," Y/N laughed.

The door opened, followed by Kirishima and Sero laughing loudly and saying, "Holy crap! What the hell Bakugou!" She looked at them and was presented with a sight - Bakugou looking like a pretty boy. He had his hair properly combed down.

Y/N couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. No matter how cute he looks, his attitude doesn't go well with that hair. She heard him complain and shout at them, "Stop laughing. My hair has gotten used to this and I can't get it back the right way. Did you not hear me? I'll kill you both!"

"I'd like to see you try pretty boy!" Sero said, still laughing. Y/N quickly took out her mobile and clicked picture of him.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!" Bakugou shouted, his hair popping back up to what it usually looked like. She turned back to see Kyoka talking to Mina and Tsuyu, probably catching up to what their internships were like. Soon the conversation turned to the topic of hero killer and Kaminari pointed at them saying, "Now if you wanna talk about the ones who really changed, it was those four."

"Oh yeah! The hero killer!" Sero said.

"Glad you guys made it back alive, seriously," Kirishima said."

Y/N looked at the two boys being pulled by their collars by Bakugou who was looking at her back. She didn't know how to react and in a rush, she laughed and loudly called, "Hey pretty boy! Haha!"

Silence.

The whole class looked at her, noticing her sudden weird behavior followed by Bakugou shouting, "SHUT UP GRANDMA! I"LL KILL YOU!!" They were just surprised that Y/N actually made fun of him for the first time. Thankfully it didn't last long when Kaminari suddenly started talking about the viral video of the hero killer. Well this was awkward for both of them. After fighting with each other almost everyday, it was kind of hard to be suddenly friends with him and joke with each other. She usually had no problem but with Bakugou, when they just became friends, she didn't want it to become an issue. She wasn't so sure if he was gonna act like they usually did before their internship.

Bakugou also, found it a bit hard but he wasn't one to overthink about such things. So he talked to her naturally but at moments, when he looked at her, it made him feel shitty somehow. Like he wasn't doing something right.

Some kind of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

"I am ready! Hope you're ready to return to your lessons! Today it's hero basic training! Feels like I haven't seen you in a while! Welcome back!" All Might said, "Now then, listen carefully for what's in store. We're going to be conducting a little race. Take everything that you've learnt in your internships and apply it in this rescue training."

Iida's hand shot up as he asked the obvious question, "If it's rescue training, then shouldn't we be in USJ instead?"

"Ah, that facuility specializes in disasters. As I said earlier, this is a race. So prepare yourself! You're about to step into Field Gamma! Inside is a metal labyrinth densely packed with steel factories, so good luck finding a way around. You'll be competing in groups of five and one with six! Each person starts with a different location on the outskirts of the model city. I'll send you the distress signal and you do what you must to rescue me! Whoever finds me first, wins!" All Might said and slowly turned his head towards Bakugou with his fingers pointing towards him, and said, "But try to keep property damage to the bare minimum please."

"Why are you pointing at me-" Bakugou asked, turning his head away.

The first team included the students who had the best mobility in class - Iida, Ojiro, Mina, Midoriya, Sero and Y/N.

Sure she had good mobility and she could've won because of her speed too but jumping in an area with unstable footing and slippery surface, wasn't exactly favorable for her quirk. Her foot slipped at least three times. It was something she needed to work on and later find a way that will help her balance herself.

After the class was over, as the girls started changing into their uniforms, they started talking about their recent progress. Y/N got a lot of praises for her new technique, even though she came third in the race.

"We thought that was a one time thing you did during festival!" Mina exclaimed.

"Yeah, the hero I was training under said I should work on that since it can come in handy, you know?" Y/N smiled, awkwardly. She wasn't used to compliments.

"Yeah-" Mina got interrupted by Kyoka saying, "What the heck is this?"

Everyone turned around and found a small hole on the wall. The girls were all halfway to change into their uniforms, that is, half naked when they heard a voice, a very familiar and perverted one from the other side of the wall - the boy's lockerroom.

"Hey Midoriya! You won't believe what I just found! The jackpot! Someone made a hole into this wall! Our previous generation has given us a gift! You know what's next door, right? The girl's lockerroom!!" Mineta said pointing to the wall, where a poster was half ripped off to Midoriya who's mind was occupied with what All Might said after their race.

Iida being the gentleman and righteous person he is, immediately revolted against it. Hoping to stop Mineta before he did something bad, he said, "Don't even think about it! Peeping on them like that would be criminal!"

Mineta tore off the whole poster off and desperately said, "Then you'll have to throw me in solitary confinement cause you can't stop me!!!" He looked through the hole, hoping to get a glimpse of any of the girls, "I wanna see Yaoyorozu's curves, Ashido's slender waist, Hagakure's floating underwear, Uraraka's super tight body, Asui's soft boobies, Y/N's b-" Before he could further say anything vulger, Kyoka put her earphone jack through the hole and hit his eye.

"Ugh! Thanks Kyoka!" Uraraka said.

"Despecible. We're gonna close this hole immediately!" Momo said.

Kyoka went to her locker and started dressing back to his uniform as soon as Momo came forward to close the hole. Y/N lightly smacked her head and said, "I know that look."

She sighed and said, "Ofcourse you do. But he even called your name."

"And thankfully you didn't let him continue," Y/N's turned back to her locker, "Because I despise people like him more than any one else. Fucking disgusting."

"I might be crossing a line...but did you...face any kind of.."

"Kind of..I guess," Y/N said sighing, "I'll talk about it someday. I don't wanna kill my mood."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. You're gearing up to get a boyfriend."

"Shut up," Y/N said supressing her smile and biting her lips, "it's not that serious."

"Oh my god, you want to be serious!"

"Wha- shut up! I mean, ofcourse but not now!"

"No offence but a guy as rude and dense as him is not a good idea..." Kyoka said, "but you already have a crush."

"I am fully aware how bad that is. Besides," Y/N smiled, "I feel like...it's not the right time to date. We should concentrate on becoming a hero first."

"Well I'm just glad you know that."

"To be honest, I think almost every U.A. students do."

"You didn't have much girl friends did you?"

"....I did."

"Your cousins don't count."

"Aizawa's gonna make us stand outside if we are any more late than this."

Bakugou probably didn't hear about the little commotion because most of the time he ignores people, but Kirishima did fill his ear about that. Well, he was friend with a talkative guy to not know about things. And he didn't exactly have a reaction besides, "Whatever."

Aizawa made an announcement at the end of the last class, "Well it''s almost time for summer vacation. Don't get too excited. You can't just relax the entire month. You'll be training while you're camping in the woods. However, those of you who don't pass the final exam before the semester is over, will have summer school."

The whole class was half excited and half nervous, but overall way more looking forward to their training and sleepover. "Come to think of it, we never had a sleepover huh?" Y/N said to Kyoka while they were near the exit gate.

"Half of the time we are too tired. I think we would actually be sleeping if we have sleepovers," Kyoka said.

"Unless, we call the girls together oneday. But to be honest, I am not a whole ball of energy like Mina. I'll be sleeping anyway," Y/N chuckled, "Alright, bye!"

As Y/N was walking towards the station, she noticed her new friend on the way.

"Hello pretty boy~"

"Shut up! And use that mouth to read language cause your mistakes make me puke!"

"How do you even know that?!"

"Fucking Kirishima! He talks too much!"

"And you shout too much. Chill dude-"

"You're the one to talk," Bakugou muttered.

"I only shout at you though," Y/N said, "it's like the only form of communication when you're shouting."

"SHUT UP GRANDMA!" Bakugou shouted, "I've seen you get angry before."

"....he's disgusting. I mean don't you guys feel that way too?! Mineta, a fucking hero with an attitude like that?!!" Y/N said, "Besides, didn't you hear what he said about us girls? What he was about to do? If Kyoka didn't stop him, he would've commented shit about all of us. Doesn't it make you angry? Doesn't it bother you?!"

"Why should it?" Bakugou blurted out, "I don't care about extras like him."

"....okay," Y/N said. The rest of the time they walked together was silent. It was uncomfortable an awkward. It wasn't what exactly Y/N wanted to hear from Bakugou. Maybe somewhere she felt this was what he might answer, but a huge part of her did think he would hate Mineta's actions too.

But Bakugou on the other hand meant what he said. He didn't actually care. He isn't supposed to. But why was he feeling like this again? And even after Y/N said fine?

Just like before, some kind of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

Chapter 28

SEASON - II

Ignite

MASTERLIST

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #mha bakugo katsuki #bnha katsuki #bnha uraraka #bnha kaminari #mha kaminari #Midoriya #boku no hero academia #boku no hero imagines #my hero academia #izuku mydoria #my hero academy fanfiction #bakugou katsuki

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dollsted · 4 years ago

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Title: Black Pearl Rating: M (nsfw) Characters: reader, sans, Wingdings, papyrus, Jukin, lucious Source: a03 (archive of our own) Author: F0rce0fnatur3

Plot: You the reader are about to go on an adventure to the underground. You don’t necessarily have a good home life but even so you weren’t expecting what happens to actually change it so drastically! When you come out the other side you weren’t expecting to wake up after your harrowing escape, in the Gaster Brothers home.

B L A C K | P E A R L

You open your eyes and as you do so there’s a nagging throbbing rage against your skull. Your cheek is pressed against something soft while your fingers confirm that its a pillow elevating your head from the mattress you’ve been propped upon. Three days ago you were back in your world with your normal life going about your business. Three days ago everything was perfectly fine and you took back all the times you silently wished your life would be more adventurous. You really had only meant that you wanted to go somewhere. That was the most daring thing you really wanted in your life. Not what actually ended up happening. You roll to your back and trace with your eyes the shape of the bars leading up to a circular top like a firework in reverse as you spiral your eyeballs around the circular shape overhead and count all thirty three of the bars banning you from escaping. The steel is strong, you’ve tried more than once to bend them with whatever strength you could muster on three days without food.

A giant birdcage wasn’t the conventional cell you thought you would be subjected too and yet here you were. The fairy lights or as other people referred to them as garden lights are looped around the very top. The height of the cage was at least ten feet high and out of your reach. Lazily you flop your hand above your face as far as the length of your arm can extend and trace the shape of the looped lights and mentally scoff at the attempt to make your jail cell “pretty” and non threatening. When your arm gets tired you let it fall over your stomach. You let your leg dangle off the edge of the bed and look around your little enclosure. A dresser, a bathroom with a little curtain for privacy, a small bookcase with titles that you’ve never heard of. You utter aloud just to have something other than silence as you mockingly joke about there not being a perch for you to swing on or newspaper lining the bottom so you can shit anywhere you like.

Back and forth your leg swings while your toes meet the floor every-now-and-then before your dull entertainment passes and you grow bored. You switch to rolling over onto your stomach looking out through the bars. The room you’re in but not allowed to frequent is a dome like grand open scoop. There are no windows, only overhead lights as if you’re in an opera stage minus the incline of said stage, and seats for an audience. There are a pair of doors which are always closed and evidently heavy given the thickness of the wood. There are carvings in the oak but its hard to register from this distance. Your cage is stationed in the far right corner of this huge room and you often inspect it taking in the details. The cobblestone fireplace always has a cackling fire which helps break the silence when he’s not around to bother you with awkward praises. You look from the mantle to the red leather chair aimed in your direction and next to the fire. It’s his favorite spot to plop down into when he strides in to gawk at you. You skip looking at the black and white tiled floor. For some reason the lack of bright light makes you feel a bit dizzy when observing it and so you go back to the bookcase. The room seems like a study to you and you wonder why he decided putting a human woman in here in a giant ass bird cage prison would be just the cherry on top of the minimal decor.

The rotten apple from two days ago has lost its luster and the single bite you took out of it is already bruised and rotting. The tender tan flesh has browned and the sheen of red has wrinkled and withered into a leathery texture which you ran your finger over just a day ago to give yourself something to do other than increase your anxiety in the situation at hand.

“You’re going to go out of your mind if you keep sticking to those habits you know.”

Your surly friend with an oddly deep voice for being something so small, casually chides you from above. You tilt your head to look past the slit in the bars above your head moving away from the circular topping of the cage to the butt of the one suspended just above yours dangling from the ceiling. You only have had this view unless you stand and your little companion stands to look down at you. You can however, see his weblike toes extended from between the bars suspending themselves in the air as he lays upon his back with his arms behind his small head and leisurely has one leg crossed over the other. You discovered him after you were thrown in here and the endless weeping caused him to peep up and bark at you to desist. Since then your ill mannered friend and you have engaged in conversation whenever one of you wasn’t weak enough to do so. It wasn’t long until the pair of you got to the topic of how each of you came to be here came up. Two days later you develop a small kinship given the parallels of your predicaments. His abode is much smaller in size than yours making it seem like a palace, but his stature also seems to fit inside perfectly despite when he elongates to stretch and his feet stick out like this.

Supposedly the amphibious looking creature suspended above your palace was a highly regarded doctor that bordered on doing some questionable things during his practice. He went against a high order that was delivered to him months ago refusing to carry out the mad monsters wishes and landed himself in this tiny little apartment as he liked to call it. You found the overall description vague and feigned reluctance when speaking with him while the back part of your brain wondered if he was terrible like some of the doctors you heard about in your world. Did he tear people apart? Was he experimenting like the mad scientist in Frankenstein? He puts on a nonchalant facade but you can tell just by the small growls in the night he’s starving. Trays are brought to you in three square meals which you refuse to eat until you’re set free and only a bit of scraps once a day if the attendants don’t forget are offered to the doctor above. You were instructed specifically not to share any of your meals with him for all the meals and scraps are recorded before going in and what’s left when coming out. Yet somehow you managed to tell them you wanted to keep the apple. Just in case.

You scoop up the rotting fruit while carefully balancing on the flat surface of the dresser praying it doesn’t concave under your weight. Once you find your center you still barely touch the top of the bars even with the apple extended upon your fingertips.

“Here, Jukin.”

You watch as his foot gets slurped into the cage and out of your view. Seconds later one of his eerily long limbs comes down to meet you in he middle and easily slips his long arm and fingers into your sanctuary curling them around the morsel. You notice he has the same color stripes of black and white on his arm as the flooring. You can hear him taking small bites to savor each nourishment and he doesn’t thank you. The crude creature never does but you know he appreciates this small act of kindness despite the knuckle wrapping you’re sure you’ll get later. You dismount from the pedestal easing back into the carpeted cage floor stretching out your own limbs to keep the circulation flowing. You’d rather not have your muscles turn to jelly should your prediction of being here for awhile come to fruition. After a good half hour and the last joyous sounds of crispy bites subsides Jukin decides he has enough strength to chat.

“That thing was rotten you know.”

“Only half of it,” you rebuttal. “I didn’t hear you complaining either. I bet you’re sucking on the seeds right now.”

The creature crunches in response spewing the seed in the opposite corner of your confines. Then waves a second one outside the cage letting you know he’s about to pop the second one into his mouth. You roll your eyes.

“You could have given it to me sooner before the rot set in, or perhaps even had the conviction not to take a heaping bite out of it to start the decomposition process.”

“I would suffice a thank you. But if you must know I had a small moment of weakness.”

“Clearly.” Out come his toes as he wriggles them and assumes his natural position of laying back.

“I don’t know how you can stand being in something so small and not get the urge to move around.”

“Focus is an easily accessible trait my dear and it all stems from being able to tap into that part of your brain in order to use it. If I think the pain away then it stays away.” You roll your eyes again rolling back into bed.

“I’m going to sleep now so don’t be too loud when spitting the seeds out.” At this, it prompts the creature to poke his head out and down peering directly into your cage. You meet his half lidded gaze and watch the abnormally large lips of the frog-like creature speak. The tiers seem to be a pale pink and the only color on the being that has the height of a toddler yet its body is small and limbs long and slender. You can see the brown sphere firmly in the corner part of his mouth, teeth firmly grinding against the hard shell.

“If only this was a beetle.” He contrived before concerting to your request to quiet down in order to let you sleep. You shutter at the gross imagery and close your eyes slipping away from the confines of your cage and find freedom in your dreams.

———————————————————————————————————

When you rouse the next morning you drift back to four days ago before the abduction replaying everything that transpired. Perhaps you were feeling sentimental when you opened your eyes this morning but as you rewind the tape you try not to create scenarios where you actually escape. You have to revisit the truth. Even if your brain wants to correct the story of what really happened. Even if it was ugly you have to revisit it. You steal the few moments you have before the attendants will walk into your room and set down a tray you wont touch, before Jukin rouses from his own dreamland and bothers you with morning ramblings. But your thoughts slip further back and you let it all play out on its own.

. . .

Three years ago you still lived with your mother. It was five years since your dad had passed away and only two years after his passing that your mother moved on and married an arrogant prick. With this prick came an entitled pampered little princess that you were meant to call stepsister all thanks to the marriage that bound you to the asshole. Her own mother ran off and left her rotten daughter and disgusting husband behind as she fled somewhere out of state. Since then you’ve been wishing and praying that your eighteenth birthday will free you of this play happy pretend family torment and you can painfully detach from them and flee just like the sensible ex wife had. Last year you graduated and couldn’t move out of there fast enough, your mother was heart broken about the decision for you to dorm immediately at the college you studied so hard to get into since the entrance of dick one and dick two came into your life. Your own heart aches that you’re leaving her behind but if he makes her happy who were you to ruin that opportunity for someone you loved so dearly?

Enter four days ago when the father who never disciplined the now fourteen year old girl who had more gadgets and things stocked in her room than a Best Buy demands you bring her some weird Greek type of ice cream that’s mad expensive. You cant say no because if you do she’ll suddenly become a daddy’s girl and pout and cry until she got her way and it would just result in a terrible headache for you. You were there solely to visit your mother and had thought those two were going to be on an outing during the time it would take for you to get a good catchup in but found out they came back because one of their batteries died on the way and they forgot to bring the car charger. So you were stuck playing happy family until your stepsister cornered you when you escaped up to the bathroom and with half hooded eyes glued to her phone screen explained in a flat monotone way that if you didn’t get her ice cream then she was going to throw a fit. So you went. During this time your mother and her husband went to run to the grocery store when he decided it was going to be a good idea to have a cookout in celebration of your return. You wince as his stare lingers a little too long over you and that’s when you made a B-line to the bathroom in an attempt to right yourself.

Luckily there was a quick corner store that you went to knowing your mother and the husband would go thirty minutes out of their way just to get these quality items and maybe knowing your mom just get a few things she needed grocery-wise while they were perchance there already.

You chuck the stupid item into the dual freezer slash fridge and trudge up the steps to inform her highness that you indeed got the snack she so rudely desired when you feel an odd tingling sensation against your skin. You have an overwhelming sensation that someone else is in the house besides the brat camped out upstairs in her room. It’s eerily quiet and normally in the past you know if it was just the two of you at home she would have her music blaring. Yet the absence of it now sends warning shocks throughout your body. It isn’t like her not to have on something even if she had it on a lower setting. So you silently stalk up to her room making sure you avoid the creaking wood under the carpeted stairs. You make your footfalls invisible and the door to her room is open just a sliver. You can see the vibrant overly saturated pink of her walks and bedding glaring at you from the fairy lights strewn around the edges of her cubic squared room. You don’t realize you’re on your hands and knees inching closer rather than on your feet like a normal unafraid human being but as you get closer you notice that her room is a mess. Not the typical teenager mess either, things disheveled and knocked over. She would never allow her precious stereo to have fallen and shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. This throws you to your feet and you call out her name. Frantically you shuck off the fact that there’s a potential intruder and curse the fact that you let that little girl dictate what you do. You should have been here to protect her. You should’ve stood your ground and told her no and just camp out in the living room. You were gone for five minutes. Maybe six since you literally timed yourself and that’s all it would take for someone to get in here and snatch a ninety pound girl up.

You scope the entire room for any sign she might be hiding or the intruder still being there and it’s blatantly easy to see the normally hidden spaces like the closet or under the bed have been shoved open and the covers from the bed thrown onto the ground. Then you feel it again. That same tingling sensation as before. You try to quiet your irregular panting and stay still so you can hear the sounds of creaking. But you only hear a high pitched whine of resistance of the door behind you as it closes slowly and gently. Someone is behind you. You turn your head as the back of the door reveals the figure that was hiding there. Lurking and waiting until you stupidly came in. But—-this isn’t a normal hooded figure in dark garbs or a human man. You’re confronted with a giant wolf-like creature waiting in the pit of the shadows of the room. The lights begin flickering and you can feel the air around you change. What was this? You take steps back and feel wind where this is no possible source for it to get in especially on this dry summer day. You take slow steps back and despite the utter fear seizing all your nerves causing you to shake uncontrollably you feel the instinct to protect that bratty teenager you’ve known for three years.

You confront the thing. You demand to know where she is. You take in its appearance. It has a wolfs head and yet the eyes almost seem human with the brown hue gleaming in the fizzled lights shining above casting devious shadows. You look at the plume of fur that disappears beneath a neatly pressed suit and matching black pants. The brown Oxford shoes are a blend of black and red complimenting his tie and is the only colorful thing on this monster. How can this thing be dressed like a human and walking on two legs? You look to the hands which remind you of werewolf hands. They aren’t condensed like a regular wolfs paw and yet it too is covered in silky strands of fur but then your eyes go to the black pearled daggers upon its fingertips and you gulp as they slickly gleam like the hide of a snakeskin under the florescent lights. Even the undershirt seems to be clad black with pearl buttons carefully buttoned.

Like the scoop of a ravens wing those eerie claw-like fingers span in menacing formation outstretched ready to grab you in those terrible talons getting closer to you. Your only escape is a window that would take time to open and even then you’re looking at a three story jump which will result in broken bones, the door that the terrifying figure is occupying would surely result in your capture. But those are your two options unless you can somehow master the art of supernatural powers and phase through the figure to your freedom down the hallway. He lunges, you evade by scrambling onto the bed to create some distance in this small span of space and your eyes focus on the door. You spring from the other side but there’s a death lock on your ankle which causes you to fall short and you cushion your fall by landing face first into the toppled blankets pooled at the end of the bed. You wrench your leg trying to get away from the deep reverberating cackle of the monster knowing he’s got you.

The wind you felt earlier picks up and you fail to find the source of where its coming from. One of her headbands rolls across the floor, your eyes follow it as its sucked into the...closet? It’s definitely the source, you can feel the vacuum of what you can only rationalize is a portal? All the contents inside the closet jostle wildly as if its own personal hurricane is occurring in the walk in space. Even you can feel the pull from seven feet away. You have to get away, you’ve got to make sure the brat is safe, you have to call the police or...animal control to put this thing away far from you.

You pull away and in the same motion the being is upon you, pinning you down as his massive lanky form hovers over you pressing your chest into the carpet suffocating the air from your lungs. It seizes your wrists and the only thing you can manage to move are your legs which you flail until you stub your toe on the metal base of the bed and cry out. It’s muzzle comes in closer contact with your ear causing further discomfort when the hot breath of the predator encases the entire side of your head. You’ve never heard a deeper timbered voice as the one gruffly growling against the shell of your ear.

“Caught you little rabbit.” The monster purrs sweetly into your ear making your skin absolutely crawl. Your instincts kick in and you need to get to that door, that’s your focal point and even if you lose a limb you have to get to it. It is your means of freedom. It all comes crumbling down when the monster easily lifts you to your feet wrenching your arms behind your back in an uncomfortable twist of pain that shoots down to your fingertips. You look to the window hoping your screams can reach past the streets to the close knit neighbors that are blissfully unaware of the supernatural predicament happening across the way.

The portal like structure quivers and something in the pit hums as the wolf creature drags you over to the closet. Dread fills every fiber of your being and it is vital that these last few seconds you fight even if it costs you. You try to unknot your limbs in a natural way to regain them without the casualty of a broken arm but the being merely shifts tactics wrangling you in a different manner. A fistful of hair is all it takes for your compliance as it painfully resists being yanked out of your head.

Entering a different dimension isn’t as painful as you anticipated. The movies got it wrong. It’s like going through a simple archway and stepping through the other side. And here you thought due to the force of the windstorm you were going to expect something terrible like the very atoms of your matter coming apart and re-stitching back together. Maybe you’d lose and eye coming out the other side. But you blink and its over. The ripples in the air subside until finally it dissipates altogether.

———————————————————————————————————

And that’s how it happened. Soon after you were shut into this room and after the first day you watched as your abductor casually strolled in, perched in his favorite armchair and watched you for at least an hour before introducing himself.

There’s a famous saying here that you’ve heard more than once from both the wolf and the doctor.

“I am Lucius. I am a monster as you well know. No I am not a lycanthrope or werewolf. Yes, I can alter my appearance to look human but I cannot maintain it for more than a day. We have rules and regulations here just as your realm does. And by all means should you feel the need to escape do so at your own risk. But outside of my manor are monsters and murderers just waiting to tear that beautiful flesh apart. You are certainly safer in here then you are out there. This cage is for my aesthetic as well as your protection from the hungry things that lurk outside the garden of my estate. You are mine now and I own you. Don’t worry about your sister I delivered her safely upon the orders of a high paying buyer. Just so we’re clear if you also feel the need to rescue her, just know she’s probably already dead. So. Now that that’s cleared up I bid you a good night.” He stands and you watch through bleary eyes as his distorted wobbly figure gets to the large wooden doors but he pauses and looks back at you and grins...yes wolfishly.

“Oh, and welcome to the underground.”

#undertale #underfell #sans the skeleton #papyrus #wingdings #gaster #gaster brothers #gastor #gastor brothers #sans underfell #horror sans #a03 #ao3 #archive of our own #archiveofourown #sans #a03blackpearl

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imagine-nation20 · 5 years ago

Text

Need To Hear You

Summary: “Do you really keep a diary? I’d give anything to look at it. May I?”

Or in which Jaskier accidentally reads something he shouldn’t.

Requested By: Anon

Request: “Do you really keep a diary? I’d give anything to look at it. May I?” with our beloved Jaskier! please dear!

A/N: Tbh, I love writing diary discoveries, because they have the potential for such hilarity. I used to keep one, and if someone had read all the secrets I had poured into that(mine and other peoples) they would have a gold mine of blackmail. This one is kind of emotional, though (why is it always emo hours with my Jaskier stuff?). Hope you like it! (Also, the dress in this is modeled after Bernadette Banner’s Chemise a la Reine cause I love historical clothing youtubers)

~~~

It had slipped from your mouth before you could stop yourself, too caught up in the conversation between yourself, Jaskier, and your two friends. You had all decided to take a break from your lives to have breakfast together. Your friends had been talking about their diaries they kept, and you had jokingly mentioned all the gossip you had spilled into your own journal, forgetting that the nosiest person you knew was sitting beside you four.

Jaskier and you had grown up together, practically inseparable until he had gone off to become a bard. Now he only came around every few months to check in, and you treasured the time.

At the mention of your diary, Jaskier’s head whipped around. A smirk was slowly creeping onto his face as he leaned towards you slightly, eyebrows practically in his hairline. “You have a diary?”

You looked to your two friends, Sahar and Wilhemina, begging for help. They, however, knew exactly why you were panicking, and were reveling in the hilarity of it all. They offered no help, and you mentally cursed them, swearing to throw them under the carriage next time they needed your assistance.

“No?” It was phrased more as a question than an answer, and you cringed at the way Jaskier’s face lit up.

You were surprised when Jaskier leaned back, eyeing you, but not pressing the subject. Sahar and Wilhemina shared a confused look with each other, but only shrugged and turned to you with a new idea sure to spark trouble.

“Willa and I wanted to head over to Gina’s, would you two like to come?” Sahar, asked, her brown curls bouncing as she tilted her head innocently. You narrowed your eyes, wondering what the two of them were up two.

They both knew you hated Gina. As a teenager, you had both been after the same boy, and she had done everything in her power to make your life harder, and in the end, she had earned his affections.

Said boy was also sitting right next to you, looking very uncomfortable at the mention of his old acquaintance.

It hadn’t ended well between the two. They had courted for almost half a year before Jaskier found out about her dislike for you, as well as what she had done, minus the part about you competing with her for his attention. You hadn’t had been the one to tell him though, thinking that he was happy. Rather, Sahar had gone behind your back and let him know, despite your protests. He definitely was not looking to see her again anytime soon.

And Sahar and Willa knew that.

“No, I think I’ll just head in.” You said, trying to imply that you would be done spending time with all of them, but Jaskier, while being perceptive at times, was completely oblivious in uncomfortable situations.

“I’ll be going with (Y/N), then. I’m sure Gina would be less than thrilled to see me,” He wrapped his arm around yours, standing from the table and dragging you out of the large greenhouse. Your family thought it was a good idea to turn it into a dining area, perfect for breakfast, and you rarely ever ate anywhere else, as at night it was lit up by lanterns.

The glass doors were already open, and Jaskier rushed you two out. You could hear the giggles of your friends, and you assumed by the embarrassed look on Jaskier’s face, he could too.

The breeze created by your fast steps blew your simple white summer dress into your legs, the thin cotton light enough for the summer warmth. The lace sleeves brushed your elbow, billowing with the wind as well. You were almost afraid that that red sash around your waist would untie and blow away.

“Jaskier, please, slow down!” You begged, slightly out of breath by the time you made it to your back door. The gardener sent you a smile, eyeing the way Jaskier gripped your hand. You blushed, pulling from his grip as he turned to you, smiling slightly.

“Sorry, I was just suddenly struck by the need to write a song, and thought it best to get to my notebook before the idea left,” You knew he was lying, but you didn’t call him out on it. Gina has always been a sensitive topic for him, as were most of his past partners. You knew that his encounters rarely ever ended on good terms.

“Then hurry,” You urged him on, ushering him in through the back door and through your house. You made it to the front entrance, turning to head up the stairs to where you room and the guest room resided. Jaskier always stayed in one of the spare rooms when he was visiting, as you refused to let him stay in an inn.

You made your way up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time, with Jaskier complaining about the walk behind you. You rolled your eyes, ignoring him in favor of opening his bedroom door and plopping onto his bed. Your arms were spread out, hair no doubt messy and unkempt. If not from the running, then from the unceremonious and unladylike drop you had made onto the bed.

“Do you really keep a diary?” The question makes you choke on air, sitting up and looking at Jaskier warily. It seems like an answer enough to Jaskier, as he is moving over to the bed and sitting---much more gracefully than you---onto the bed. “ I’d give anything to look at it. May I?”

It is a question, but no matter how you answer, you know he will keep insisting. Jaskier was a lot of things, but a quitter wasn’t one.

“No.” It is a simple answer, and the look in your eyes conveys to Jaskier that the answer wont change. There is a beat of silence.

You and Jaskier both break for the door.

He’s faster. If you had to guess, it was probably from the fact that he has been traveling with a witcher. It could also be the fact that his shoes are more suitable for running than your heeled boots. All you know for sure is, he makes it to the door before you, and is out in record time. The blue of his jacket slips through your bedroom door before your out of his, and you hear the familiar click on the lock as it closes.

You hand flies to the knob, twisting it in hopes that he hasn’t locked himself inside, and that the click was just you mishearing. It isn’t. The handle won’t budge, and you can hear him rifling through your things as you fist bangs against the door.

“Jaskier! Jaskier don’t you dare!” You shout, desperately trying to get his attention away from the book you know is safely hidden in the slats under your mattress. You also know that Jaskier will eventually remember it is your most trusted hiding place where you used to keep your stolen chocolate. “Jaskier, open this door right now!”

“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad!” He shouts back, and you hear him head for your desk, opening drawers and searching still.

“Jaskier that is my private diary, and it is only meant for me to read!” Your desperate to appeal to his sympathy, but one Jaskier has his mind set on something, he won’t stop. You know this as well.

“I have been your best friend-” The slam of the last drawer- “since we could walk. I think your secrets are safe with me.”

There is a pause in his movements, and you pray he hasn’t remembered. He moves towards the door, but veers off towards your dresser.

“Why don’t you want me to read it? Does it have something naughty in it?” His tone is teasing, but the thought of what you had written only makes your queasy. Your mind brings up memories of the little girl in love with her best friend and obsessed with writing poems about him.

“Jaskier, please,” You beg, voice lower now. You think he may hear you, the silence stirring hope, but the footsteps restart again, and you dread where they are headed.

A triumphant ‘aha!’ seals your fate.

Knowing you can’t do anything now but wait, you turn and slide down the door, accepting that this would be the end of your friendship.

It is silent for a long while, and you think about him reclining on your bed, eyes skimming the words you had hoped no one would ever read. You imagine him trying not to laugh at the way you were so infatuated with him. You can see the teasing in his eyes now, and the way he would be uncomfortable around you now. Maybe he would leave this time, and never come back. Maybe this would be how you part with him for the last time.

The thought almost has you sobbing, but you resign yourself to suffering in silence. The tears burn as they fall, the misery etched into your cheeks through the hot trails they leave.

The door lock clicks, handle turning slowly. You stand, back still facing the door as it slowly opens. You refuse to turn around. You refuse to look at him; at his sky blue eyes that love to mock you. You hear the door hit the wall of your room, and you flinch slightly at the sound. The ringing in your ears in mind-numbing.

Nothing is said for a long while, but you know he is looking at you. You can feel his stare.

Footsteps approach you slowly, and you wait for the sound of his voice, filled with mockery and joking. Instead, what you get is warm arms, circling your waist, and a face pressed into the crook of your neck. You could feel the dampness across his face as it rested against your skin, and the subtle tremors that wracked his body.

Your own tears ceased, only leaving sniffles in their wake. The confusion of what Jaskier was doing---thinking---was to big of a distraction to bother continuing to wallow in your sorrows. Your hands hesitantly raised to rest over his own, delicate in their touch, and you felt Jaskier release a heavy sigh, grip tightening.

“I love you…” Is all that is said. It echoes down the hallway and back, and you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing it. You want to savor the moment, capture it in your heart, because you fear it is a dream. You fear waking up and never hearing Jaskier say it again.

“I think you already are well aware of how I feel,” You don’t know where you find the energy to tease him, but maybe it's the fact that you are so used to the banter between you. Silly jabs and jokes pointed at each other is normal, and normal is what you think you need right now. Of course, though, Jaskier never wants to make it easy on you.

“I know,” He whispers. “But I need to hear you say it. I need to hear you.”

It's a plea, a prayer, and you smile at the way his voice shakes, like hearing you say it is the only thing he will ever need.

“I love you.”

#jaskier #jaskier x reader #jaskier oneshot #jaskier fanfiction #julian alfred pankratz #julian alfred pankratz x reader #julian alfred pankratz oneshot #the witcher oneshot #the witcher

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justlookatthosesausages · 5 years ago

Text

‘Emergence’ - an interactive fanfic

=======

CHAPTER 7

=======

Kristoff rose his hands.

“Elsa, breathe calmly. I came alone.”

The Fifth Spirit’s nervous breathing slowed down, and her shoulders lowered a bit. Around her, the air seemed to warm up.

She just had a panic attack when she saw Kristoff in the forest, walking by Sven’s side. She lowered her arms that she had put up earlier to use her magic if needed.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Assured the man, seeing how panicked she had been.

He stepped to her, and they hugged as a greeting. Elsa smiled weakly to Sven, petting his head.

Kristoff then frowned in confusion. “What are you doing here? The camp is miles away. And you don’t have Nokk with you.”

“I, uh... I needed to take a walk.”

Elsa had her left hand clutching her right arm, and Kristoff knew this posture really well. Including which mental state it meant.

“What are you doing here?” Asked Elsa, a bit defensively, before he even said anything.

“I was around, for work, and I thought I could drop by. I’m exploring the nearby lakes to see which spots we could use with my team of ice harvesters.”

“Spots?” Repeated Elsa, a bit numb.

“When the lakes will get frozen this Winter. With the cold. As we are up North. To get the ice.”

“To get the ice?” Repeated the Spirit, again.

Kristoff had a scoff chuckle at her state.

“You made me Official Ice Master and Deliverer 4 years ago, remember?” He laughed.

Elsa blinked, and nodded when everything finally clicked in her mind. “Yeah, yeah, right.”

She still wasn’t looking at him, and he got concerned.

“Are you okay?”

That was a stupid question, he knew that the sisters weren’t okay. He was naturally clumsy at social interactions, so he briskly coughed and found another topic of discussion.

“How was your week?”

Elsa stared at him in an odd way, and the blond worried.

“What?”

She sighed. Elsa realized, by Kristoff’s kind and soft presence, that she needed a confidant. She hadn’t talked to anyone about what happened with Honeymaren, and was even avoiding the Northuldra people just in case someone would ask, cleverly pretending that she was busy in the wild to not spent too much time in the camp.

“I... Can we talk?” She asked.

Kristoff smiled with his usual kindness. “That’s why I’m here.”

Elsa had a relieved sigh. “We should sit down.”

The mountaineer looked around. They were in the middle of nowhere, and there was no fallen trunk on which they could sit. Suddenly, a crunching noise came to Kristoff’s ears, and he recognized it as being Elsa’s ice crafting an object. He looked down and saw a bench, transparent and shining in its magic. Sven jumped in appreciation, and the ice harvester whistled.

She sat heavily, like she had a very tiring day, and he passed a hand along the backrest. “Flawless. Like always.”

His compliment finally made Elsa smile, and they exchanged a happy face. He sat down next to her.

“What is going on? Tell me.”

He turned his face to his sister-in-law. She didn’t have her arms crossed anymore, but her hands were clenched on the ice seat on each side of her thighs, and he wondered if that was any better. Elsa took a long time before gathering enough courage to speak.

“IkissedHoneymaren.”

“Excuse me?”

“I...”

She tightened her fingers, and took a shaking breath out.

“I kissed Honeymaren.”

Kristoff’s eyes widened. Sven abruptly lifted his head from the grass with a surprised grunt.

And Elsa immediately buried her face in her hands.

“Ooooh, why did I say that...” She muttered, her voice masked by her palms.

“Wait wait wait... You...”

He couldn’t believe it. He was happy for her, but also completely bewildered. Elsa had gained a lot of confidence in the passed years on the physical plan, both for her and about touching others, but... This?

“Were you... The one who initiated the kiss?”

She looked at the horizon. “Yes.”

Her eyes widened suddenly. “I mean, NO! No, it wasn’t me. But then... Yes.”

A thousand questions bumped each other in the blond’s head, and Sven and him exchanged a glance, yet he shook his head and stayed on the supportive aspect.

“Was it... Great?” He asked.

She lifted her palms to the sky.

“I don’t know, Kristoff! It was the first time I ever kissed someone!”

The mountaineer put a soft hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

“Okay. Okay. I just want to know if you were comfortable with it. It’s important, you know. How did it feel?”

Elsa bit her lip, hesitating to confess. She hesitated on telling Kristoff, but after all, he was caring and listening, and they knew each other well. They were family. She took another breath in and tried to remember the details.

“It was... Humid, and...”

The blond frowned. “Ew.”

“I was crying, Kristoff.”

“Oh. Oh, okay. My bad. Keep going.”

He wanted to ask why she was crying, but he had a little idea about it. Anna was shocked since their dispute as well. Elsa fidgeted with her hands as she continued.

“It felt... Warm. Like, I never felt this warm in my entire life. I mean, I have, when I’m with you, and Anna, and Olaf, and Sven, and... In the castle, and in the Northuldra camp, with-”

“I think you mean that this time, it was the warmth of love.” Said Kristoff, cutting her nervous rambling.

She looked at him with a still expression. As if it just occurred to her that it’s what it was. Yet, she knew it from the very second it happened. Why did it help to hear Kristoff saying it?

“Yes. Yes, it was the warmth of love.”

Elsa’s worried face broke in a soft smile for a moment. “It was.”

Kristoff nodded with happiness, sharing her glee. She kind of exhaled an aura.

He laid on the back of the ice bench, smelling the forest. He let her have a pause in her story to decompress. Some birds chirped in the distance, and Sven munched on the grass a few meters further.

“Did you like it?”

“I... I did, yes.”

He nodded. Those were important questions, and she seemed honest about it. From the corner of his eye, he could see her blush, and he smiled.

“So you both love each other. I’m hoping it wasn’t rushed?”

“No, we... It was mutual.”

The mountaineer nodded with approval.

“Great. The first time Anna and I kissed, I asked for permission first. It was clumsy, I admit it, but I still asked.”

“It kind of was awkward for us both as well.”

Elsa suddenly groaned and buried her face in her hands again. “Why is love so complicated?”

Kristoff burst of laughter. “It always is! And you’re at the beginning of it. For now, it’s still blossoming...”

He made a gesture with her hands to mime the opening of a lotus flower, and he froze in his move when he saw how Elsa was looking at her.

“I mean...” Coughed the man. “I guess.”

She continued to stare at him, then groaned again, this time wiping her head back. She looked like she was imploring the gods, but above all was very dramatic, and it reminded Kristoff of Anna.

“You and your sister are a lot alike, you know that?”

Elsa sighed at the sudden change of topic. “If it’s a way to make me talk to her again...”

“No, I meant, on the groaning plan. You have the same way to complain about stuff.”

“We do?”

“Don’t tell me you never noticed?!”

Elsa stared down, thinking. And it just occurred to her how much time had passed since the last day she saw her little sister. Her heart felt pinched.

She didn’t dare to say it out loud, but she needed to talk to Anna. To share this, to be completely open about to someone. Kristoff could understand most of it, and she would wilfully share how it went to him, but it wasn’t the same thing that talking about it to Anna.

“Elsa.”

‘I need to talk with Anna again. I have to. I must...’ She thought.

“Elsa!” Said Kristoff, snapping his fingers in front of her face.

The Spirit blinked at the sudden call. “What?”

“You were daydreaming for a moment. Ryder has just arrived. He wants to see you.”

“What?”

They turned around, and Ryder was waving at Elsa from the back of a reindeer.

“There you are!” Shouted the Northuldra. “I have to talk to you!”

Elsa blushed and panicked. “Ohhhh no, no no no, I’m not ready for this conversation right now.”

Kristoff frowned at her. “He’s just asking you to call for the Giants help to check if all the reindeers are in his enclosure.”

“Oh.” Muttered Elsa.

She thought that Ryder was going to talk about his sister. Did he know, anyway? Did Honeymaren confessed to him, like Elsa just did with Kristoff?

Elsa nervously stood up in one go, and Kristoff yelped when he suddenly found himself slamming the ground with his butt. Sven had a laughing grunt. Elsa had vanished the bench without looking behind.

“Ouch.” Grumbled the man.

“Oh, sorry, I just...”

“No, it’s okay. You’re used to thaw everything once it’s not of use anymore, I get it...” Said Kristoff, wincing however as his coccyx hurt.

He joined Sven, and looked at the sky. “I should go. Otherwise, night will fall before I get to Arendelle, and I promised Anna I would arrive before dinner.”

Elsa looked away from Ryder to stare at Kristoff with panic.

“Don’t tell her you saw me today.”

“She won’t get jealous.” Joked Kristoff.

“No, what I mean is... She’ll want to get some news, and...”

“You know she’ll ask.”

“Just lie, then.”

“I’m not gonna lie to her, Elsa. I never do.”

The blonde looked down. “Fine. Then tell her. But... Please make sure that she doesn’t worry.”

He climbed on Sven and chuckled. “Oh, when I’ll tell her how you are, I’m sure she will be the opposite of worried.”

Elsa blushed, a bit her lip. “That... That doesn’t change what I said. I still stand my ground.”

“Hmm-hmm.” Smiled Kristoff.

He gave her a last nod, and tapped his heels in Sven’s flanks. Together, they rode down to the South.

“So...”

Elsa startled with a jump at Ryder’s sudden voice.

“Could you call the Giants for me? I need to check...”

“Right. On my way. I’m going.” Blabbered Elsa clumsily, trying to avoid eye contact and walking past him.

“Cool.”

=======

Elsa went down from the Giant’s shoulder with the help of their enormous hand, and thanked them with a deep smile and a soft touch on the chin. They gave a smile that was the size of a house in return, and stood up to join their friends who were sleeping in the distance.

“Thank you so much!” Exclaimed Ryder after he counted the reindeer. “That was awesome. And badass.”

Elsa chuckled at the compliment and vocabulary.

“Oh, while I’m thinking of it!” He added, scratching his head under his hat. “Honeymaren was looking for you, just earlier. She couldn’t find you for the whole day, apparently.”

Elsa’s glee vanished. She gulped.

“Have you been hiding?” Asked Ryder.

“What? Me...? No, not at all!” Blushed Elsa, looking elsewhere.

“Uh-uh.”

“I just... Explored. So, if you see her again, you can just tell her that I’m... Exploring.”

“Uh-uh”, nodded the Northuldra, on a different tone this time, smirking.

Elsa waved with an awkward by-bye and walked to the forest. The trees somehow made her feel like she was isolated without getting too far from the village.

“She’d be the worst at hide and seek”, muttered Ryder with a shake of the head. His reindeer grunted in approval.

The Fifth Spirit walked for several minutes on her own, then found a welcoming shadow cast by a big tree in an isolated glade. She sat on the grass and sighed.

There was a crack sound above her head, and some leaves fluttered to the ground. She frowned with confusion and lifted her eyes.

“Hey.”

Elsa screamed at the top of her lungs when she suddenly faced Honeymaren upside down.

She froze a part of the ground, spiky layers of ice covering the grass and the tree.

With a heavy breathing, she stared angrily at the woman for scaring her, and tried to take her hands off the ice, both clamped to the ground on each side of her hips.

Honeymaren skilfully dropped off the tree with a flip from the branch she had been hanging from with her legs and bent to her.

“You’ve been avoiding me. Is this how you deal with emotions?”

Elsa looked elsewhere, blushing. Honeymaren softened her tone.

“I’m not reproaching anything. I’m just asking. Is this how you deal with your feelings? By running away? Hiding in some place? Do you want to be left alone? For how long?”

Elsa stared at her, her mouth twisting.

“Okay maybe that was too many questions at a time.” Admitted the brunette. “You’re an introvert, I get it. But I just want to know why you’re shunning. Are you okay? That’s all that matters to me.”

The blonde gulped, and nodded. “I’m alright.”

Honeymaren smiled, sighing a bit. “Perfect.”

Somehow, her care helped Elsa to melt the ice, and she shook her hands as the magic vanished.

“No spooking anymore, noted.” Said the Northuldra when she understood the state she was in.

“You scared the hell out of me”, muttered Elsa.

“And you swear a lot when you’re scared.” Pointed Honeymaren, sitting in lotus position in front of her. “One unprepared moment and you loose your regal and poised mask, uh?”

Elsa smiled a bit. “Anna had noticed that out as well.”

“Then it’s true.”

A silence fell. Honeymaren gently nudged Elsa’s knee with her finger, like a ‘boop!’ gesture.

“What’s wrong? Why are you needing all that space? Communication is important.”

Elsa stared at her. She was right. The Spirit took a long breath in and out.

“I just need to think.”

Honeymaren bent her head. “Do you need to think because you kissed someone? Or because you kissed a girl?”

Elsa blushed, and looked down shyly.

“It’s the first time I ever kissed someone.”

“Oh.”

A new silence passed. They both looked elsewhere. Honeymaren smiled.

“So it’s not me. Thanks Ahtohallan, I thought you didn’t like it.”

She snorted at her own joke. “Sorry. I thought that some humor would help.”

Elsa smiled. “No, it’s not because of you. I just... Need some time to process everything.”

The Sami nodded. “If you want to have a positive thought, just know that you’re actually a really good kisser.”

Elsa blushed strongly.

“This just makes everything worse, stop.”

“Excuse me. I was too sincere.” Apologized Honeymaren, and she had a tender laugh. “It’s just... We both loved it, Elsa. And kissing a girl apparently isn’t the problem. So... Is there something else bothering you? Do you want to talk about it? I’m willing to listen, at your own rhythm.”

Elsa bit her lip with emotion at her words.

“Oh no, you’re crying.” Gasped the Sami, noticing now Elsa’s eyes had filled with tears.

“Those are happy tears”, said Elsa.

Honeymaren’s eyes widened. “Really?”

The blonde nodded, her pout turning into a smile. She sniffed. “I’m just very emotional, that’s all.”

Honeymaren melted in a warm smile. “It’s great to be emotional. It’s normal. As an example, I couldn’t sleep all night after you left the tent.”

“You mean, after I ran away from the tent.”

The brunette shrugged. “Details, details.”

Elsa snorted. Honeymaren smiled in victory to see that she had managed to make her laugh again.

Her confession touched Elsa. “I couldn’t find sleep either.”

She sniffed and kept going, feeling in a good mood to express her emotions. “I’m used to insomnia, but this is a whole other level.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Laughed Honeymaren.

She was staring at the blonde, particularly enjoying when she blushed.

Elsa smirked, noticing the way she stared. “Do you actually enjoy watching me being bashful?”

The brunette smiled dreamily. “You have no idea how cute you look when you are.”

She then blushed a bit. Words had escaped her mouth.

The two woman looked elsewhere awkwardly. Honeymaren massaged her neck, and Elsa nudged some blades of grass with the side of her ice sandal.

“Do you-”

“Can I-”

They had spoken at the same time.

“You first”, invited Elsa politely.

“No, you first. Go ahead. You’re a Spirit.”

“Don’t treat me religiously.” Elsa laughed.

Why was Honeymaren always making her laugh?

“Well, as far as I know, you’re basically a goddess, so…”

“Honey, please.”

They both widened their eyes.

“Ugh, I did it again.” Grumbled Elsa, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“It’s alright. I like it.”

“...It’s very cheesy.”

“Actually, it’s sugary. But even if it’s ridiculous, I like it. You can stick to it.”

Elsa shook her head. Then sighed. Why struggling? “Okay, fine. Honey.”

Honeymaren bit her lip at the effect it had.

“I like how it sounds, now that you actually say it.”

“I’ll stop if you make it awkward.” Warned Elsa.

Honeymaren bit her lip again with a smirk and looked at the trees.

After a silence, the blonde passed a shy finger along the Northuldra’s boot. “I didn’t mean to hide from you, I just... It’s been a lot, lately. What happened with Anna... What happened with you...” She moaned. “I feel like my heart’s going to explode.”

Honeymaren tapped on her hand with comprehension. “Would that help if we talked about it? You were overreacting yesterday, but now it looks like you stepped back a bit. We can have a chat.”

“I’d love that.” Smiled Elsa.

And in the warming light of the sun, they talked together, their fingers intertwined.

=======

Elsa hesitated before calling out the Wind Spirit and giving them her new letter to Anna. She had been putting everything in it. Her deep thoughts, her apologies... How would Anna react? She had been waiting so long before finally sending a message to her young sister. Would she be mad?

Her fingers pressed the paper as she thought about how she included the news of her kiss with Honeymaren. The Northuldra had made her comfortable enough to share it with her sister, and she thought it was a good decision to tell her, as they promised they would never hide anything to each other. But how would Anna react to that, as well? What would she say?

Elsa sighed with a shaking breathing, apprehending Anna’s answer. With a trembling voice, she called Gale, and her call echoed in the empty portion of the woods she had been retreating in.

After a few seconds, the Wind Spirit arrived, chiming in the air, and Elsa cleared her throat to chase her emotion.

“Could you please give this message to my sister?”

She raised her letter and Gale did a twirl and swooped the paper. They rose in the air, above her head, and threw the paper to her.

Elsa caught it and sighed. “Don’t throw it back, I mean it. Send it to Anna, please.”

She gave the letter back, but the Spirit brought it in her hands again.

“What are you doing? You’ve been annoying me for days saying I should message her, and now you give it back to me? Send my le--”

Then Elsa realized that it wasn’t her letter. The folding shape... It was Anna’s.

“What the...”

She stared at it, unbelieving. It indeed was Anna’s. “She wrote too?”

The Wind Spirit chimed. Elsa interpreted some impatience from it, and suddenly she understood. Her eyes stung and her vision blurred.

“She... She asked you to give me her letter only once I was ready to write mine?”

Gale swooped in a round, the equivalent of nodding.

Elsa was shocked. Her sister has respected her time of reflection and chose to only message her once she was in the mood to talk to her?

The blonde brought her hand to her mouth, gasped, and melted into tears. She slowly fell to the ground, sit on her heels, her legs bent.

“Oh, Anna...” She muttered, smiling despite the tears. “What would I be without you. And your patience. And your understanding.”

Elsa sighed with a warm smile. She looked up and saw that Gale was still standing there, or rather, floating there, as if waiting for her to open it. They apparently have been waiting a long time to deliver Anna’s letter.

“You can go deliver mine, now”, smiled Elsa.

The Spirit did a twirl before leaving, which would mean ‘Of course!’, and went out of the forest to the South.

Elsa was in a calm and silent setting again, and was glad to be so in order to read Anna’s letter with all the attention it deserved. With slightly shaking hands, she looked at the folded paper. Despite their dispute, her sister still had wrapped the message in a cute little shape, like always. This time, it was a horse.

The blonde sniffed, gently unfolded it, and rubbed her eyes before reading, so she could see her sister’s warm handwriting clearly.

So you finally decided to message me. - Elsa had a tearful giggle. - Look, I’m sorry. I truly am. You know that I can get very heated and outspoken when I’m worried, and, you know, I was.

You say that this is a default that actually can be a quality for a Queen, in tough meetings and all, but I hope that it’s not going to be a default for us both, as family, as sisters.

I can see Olaf from where I’m writing (the ballroom’s balcony) and he’s really sad since our argument. The village’s kids are in the market square and traced a hopscotch on the ground with him, but he’s barely in the mood to play. This reminds me that, as soon as we arrived home, he told me that I shouldn’t have said that you weren’t good at goodbyes, for he had forgiven you about that time when you sent us away on the ice boat. - tears went down Elsa’s cheeks, and she laughed nervously when Anna’s next sentence was ‘He truly is what connects us.’.

I already forgave you for what you told me. I know that, as well, you can lose your temper when you’re angry. I’m sorry if I made you say bad stuff (that you surely regretted as soon as you went away on Nokk), and I hope that you can forgive me too. I came to realize that it’s something I’ll often have to do, as a leader.

Take your time, but if you want to meet up some day, message me when and where.

I love you Anna PS: Don’t pick up ‘midway’ as the meeting place, I found ants in my travel boots again the other day, and ugh.

Elsa re-read the letter several times, delighted to lay eyes on her sister’s words again, and then started to laugh. It was a sniffing laugh at first, but then it became clear, and happy, and finally she laughed openly in the woods, filled with her sister’s love. She had missed her so much.

=======

Elsa wrote a new letter to her sister in the following afternoon, after an idea crossed her mind. In fact, once she got the idea, it then took her several hours to think it through, but when she finally stop listing the thousand pros and cons of her decisions, she took a paper in her tent and grabbed a pencil, and went to a calm place in the village to write.

Anna

First and foremost, I love you with all my heart. You were right about me waiting such a long time before eventually sending you a message after our dispute, and you were right about everything. You ARE right about everything, in fact.

That’s why, for the place we’ll meet, I suggest you the Northuldra village. It’s not very exceptional, you may think, but that’s because I want to take you on a ride.

I want to show you Ahtohallan. It is time. We’re going to Ahtohallan together. And find answers there. I know I refused each time you suggested it for the past year but now I’m certain. I took my decision. You were right, again, when you said that I have to go there and know once and for all the reason why I got those visions. We’re going to get the answers, sis. Together.

I love you.

Elsa

PS: Bring as many warm clothes as you can, obviously.

She closed the letter by folding it twice and sealing it with a big five elements snowflake. Her perfectionism hit and she made sure it was symmetrical.

Once done, she joined the middle of the village, where Honeymaren and some kids were playing with the Wind Spirit. When she approached, Gale noticed the letter in her hand and strongly twirled around her arm to pick it up, making Elsa giggle at the sudden tug in her sleeve.

“Yes, it’s for her. Go.”

Gale didn’t wait any longer and brought the letter to the South. Elsa shook her head at how the Spirit was the number one fan of their correspondence.

Honeymaren approached as she was looking at it flying away.

“So, you agreed about going to Ahtohallan with her?” The brunette smiled.

Elsa smiled back with a nod, then suddenly froze. “How do you know?”

The Northuldra winked. “I know you, that’s all. You have that little sparkle in the eye when you’ve done a right action.”

The blonde stared at her, then smirked lightly. “Do I have this little sparkle often?”

“That’s one of the things I like the most about you.” Whispered Honeymaren, bending to her.

Elsa had a pout in-between happiness and awkwardness.

“This and all the moments when you smile. And the bashful faces, like the one you’re making right now.” Smiled Honeymaren.

The Spirit nervously held her arm and looked down. She smiled and came closer to Honeymaren to kiss her on the cheek.

“I’m gonna go check on Bruni. I haven’t seem him in a while.”

“Okay.” Muttered Honeymaren, standing still and blushing.

Honeymaren watched her walk away through the village, admiring her, and when she turned her head back to the kids who she had been playing with, they all looked up at her with devilish and significant smiles.

“What?”

They all started making smooching faces and sounds, and she pushed them away with a laugh.

“Oh, stop it!”

=======

To say that the two sisters were happy to see each other again was the understatement of the month, and probably the year.

Elsa had asked Gale to not tell her when Anna would be here because she wanted to give her her own rhythm, something her younger had respected and that she intended to do too.

So when Elsa had stepped out of the tent and heard hooves coming from the woods and saw Sven hurry to her with a very excited redhead on his back, she didn’t expected it at all.

Elsa let out a soft emotional gasp, her gaze blurry, and Anna jumped down Sven with a cry of joy. They both ran to each other, and tackled each other into a hug so hard that they lost their balance and fell together to the ground.

Unfortunately, they were on the bottom of a hill, and rolled together on the grass for a moment before arriving to a full stop. Sven grunted with concern. They giggled nervously a few meters below, then fully laughed. They grinned and stared into each other’s eyes, taking in the incredible fact to see her sister again, to be happy with her again, to have forgiven everything. Azure and teal blue eyes switched from eye to eye.

“No, don’t cry!” Gasped Anna. “Because if you cry, then I’ll cry too, and then we’ll both cry, and we’ll spend all day crying.”

Elsa giggled with a sniff. “Too late. I can’t help it.”

Anna blinked, and one tear rolled on her cheek. “Oh, you cutie.”

They hugged each other again, and they were still down, so they sat up with a giggle. Elsa smiled at Anna’s travel outfit and hair, and took some leaves out it. They hugged again, instinctively.

“There’s so much I want to say...” Murmured Elsa, emotion tightening her throat.

“Then say it all. We have all day.” Smiled Anna.

She then suddenly gasped, and parted the hug. “Oh my goodness!! You have to tell me about Honeymaren! When was it? How was it? Where was it?”

Elsa blinked, and winced. “Are you sure you want to know in details?”

“I want to know EVERY detail, are you kidding me?!” Laughed Anna. “Come on, do tell.”

The blonde breathed in and out, looking into Anna’s teal blue eyes. She had missed her caring gaze. This few days separation was far from being the longest one they had in the past year, and yet it felt like forever.

Why did they even yell at each other the other day? She couldn’t believe how stupid they were.

Elsa held Anna’s hand, and she started to tell what happened in the tent.

=======

“Should we stay seated here?” Asked Anna.

“Why? You don’t like it?” Laughed Elsa.

“No, it’s just... I arrived, and we basically fell on the ground. And we haven’t moved since.”

“I like improvising with you. And as you said, we’ve got all day.”

Anna smiled deeply.

“Hey, I noticed, after our fight... I didn’t even ask you what was the Ahtohallan vision about. What did you see?”

Elsa fidgeted with the grass. “It was more of a flash. It was short, and intense.”

She looked up.

“You were right in your assumption. It was another memory of ours. This time, it was a memory of the coronation.”

“What?”

“Wait, mine, not yours. The one three years ago.”

Anna stared at her, and her eyebrows lifted when she guessed which memory it was.

“I had a flash of the very first moment we actually talked to each other in thirteen years.” Specified Elsa, gulping.

Anna put her hand on hers on the grass, trying to make her smile. “It’s a positive memory, no?”

“Yes. Yes, it is. But I’m still confused at why Ahtohallan showed it to me...”

Anna winced. “What is ironic is that we fought each other right afterwards, whereas the memory was about us being united for the first time in a long while.”

“It’s okay. We’re together now.” Assured Elsa.

Anna nodded with a smile, and a silence passed.

“I think that it’s official: Ahtohallan only submits visions of memories of the bridge.” Suddenly stated Elsa.

“Of the bridge? Do you mean, like…”

“Us. Both of us, the bridge linking the humans and Nature Spirits.”

“I see. Well, you actually brought even more sense to it than I did.”

“No, I only figured it out thanks to you. I was used to see so many memories, I didn’t even perceive the pattern until you pointed it out the other day in the reindeer enclosure.”

“Oh.”

“You’re the smart one, Anna. How many times do I have to remind you?”

Anna snorted. “Well, I’m dumb enough to have stopped counting.”

“Don’t say that!” Nudged Elsa with her finger poking Anna’s ribs. “You truly are more clever than me.”

Anna laughed at the tickle and smiled at the compliment. “Okay, if you say so.”

Elsa turned to Sven. “Did you bring warm clothes?”

“As many as I could.”

The reindeer happily showed the pile of winter clothes stacked on his back. Elsa grinned to her little sister.

“We’re going to Ahtohallan together. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I was born ready!”

=======

Elsa lifted her hands as a serious warning.

“I feel like it’s important to remind you that I don’t know if Ahtohallan got any less colder since I became the Fifth Spirit. I can’t tell if the temperature got better in the memories room.”

“It’s gonna be okay, Elsa. Relax.”

Elsa lifted an eyebrow.

“You’re the one who needs to relax now. You’re so tense, you look like you’re going to sink in your layered clothes.”

Anna clenched her hands in her gloves. She was staring at Nokk, standing near them.

The redhead had never dared to ride the Water Spirit because she felt like she didn’t belong on their back, and wanted to leave that honor to Elsa. She also still was resentful for having drowned her sister, even if it was in the context of a challenge, and she hoped that the magical being wasn’t feeling her anger.

The elder’s gaze switched from the Spirit to her.

“Are you scared of them?” Worried Elsa.

“What? Of course not. I know how to ride horses. But... A water horse... This is definitely not something I’ve done before.”

“Well, Nokk can only run in and on water anyway. I need to freeze them if we want to ride from land to the shore as well.”

The Fifth Spirit raised her left hand, and petted the magical horse on the nose. With a simple touch, their translucent body turned into a gradient of white, and their long waterfall mane looked like a stylized curtain. Anna had already seen them in this condition, but she gasped and smiled in admiration anyway.

The redhead looked at Elsa as she stroked the happy Water Spirit. “We’re gonna ride them in... Ice form? Are you certain?”

“Do you prefer to have your butt wet and lukewarm, or dry and cold?” Asked Elsa, surprisingly serious in that odd question.

Anna went speechless for a moment, then snorted. “Yeah, when you put it like that, I prefer the second option.”

“That’s what I thought”, said Elsa, petting Nokk’s neck. “Also, it’s a good way to prepare yourself for Ahtohallan’s temperature.”

The younger could see that Elsa was still very nervous at the idea of bringing her there. She went next to her and joked to light up her mood.

“Are you saying that my buttocks will turn into pop-sicles?”

Elsa laughed. It had worked.

“Maybe.”

She checked that they had all they needed in Anna’s backpack, and asked: “Do you want to go in front or behind?”

Anna didn’t even have to think. “Definitely behind you. There’s no way on Earth that I’m gonna guide them with ice reins.”

“We don’t use ice reins since a very long time. We know each other by heart, there’s no need.”

“I’m also saying that because I prefer to hold to you.” Muttered Anna, on a lower voice this time.

“Oh, okay.” Smiled the elder. “Alright, let’s go!”

With a baffling ease, she mounted Nokk, her leg admirably passing above their back and seating in a second on top, despite their tall size. Anna stared at her like she had just produced a miracle.

“How the heck did you do that without stirrup?? They’re huge!”

Elsa laughed with a cute tone, both amused by Anna’s face and appreciating the compliment. “Come, I’ll help you.”

She let out a hand, and Anna used her help to climb on their back. Clumsily - and she almost fell on the other side - she set herself behind Elsa, and looked around.

“Yep, definitely taller than any horse I ever rode. Oh my gosh.”

“It’s gonna be okay”, said Elsa’s soothing voice in front of her.

“I know.”

She was glad to have chosen to seat behind her. Elsa’s presence in front of her was reassuring, and the ice below them vibrated with her voice.

With a twirl of the wrist, Elsa made her double train vanish, just in case it would get in Anna’s face as they ride, or obstruct her vision. She looked up North.

“Do you want me to start slowly? With a simple trot at first?”

Anna smirked. “Are you kidding? Don’t spare me. I like fast. Dash to the horizon, mighty Spirit!”

She let out an excited war shout with her fists up, then it suddenly turned into a strangled scream when Nokk briskly ran forward at Elsa’s order, and she grabbed her older sister’s waist with force.

The blonde laughed openly, her voice spraying in the wind as they went at full speed. Anna could feel how her diaphragm moved with sincere laughs, and she was even more happy now to share this moment with her.

She loved to have Elsa back. Her happiness was all that mattered to her, and Elsa had never felt more happy than in this time of her life.

=======

It wasn’t the same feeling at all than when she rode her own horse; Anna forgot for a moment the urgency to ask Ahtohallan, and her worry for Elsa. All she wanted now was to laugh and have fun with her riding Nokk.

Riding the Water Spirit, she had the feeling that she was on another plane of existence. Was this what living with magic felt like?

The redhead felt how joyful Elsa was anyway. It was like riding through the magical lands on a magical horse had unveiled the final version of herself, and, sitting behind her, Anna admired the way her elder expertly looked at the landscape around, gave directions to Nokk to avoid bumpy paths for Anna’s comfort, and waved at Giants in the distance.

Soon they arrived to the shore of the Dark Sea, and the younger widened her eyes when she realized that Nokk wasn’t slowing down at all. She squinted in apprehension, her legs clamping the water horse’s body, her arms tight around Elsa.

And then nothing happened. Nothing, in the good way. She opened her eye fully and let out a silent gasp as she saw the waves passing by, on each side of them, and the Spirit galloping with ease through it like it were casual land.

“Waow.” Muttered Anna.

“Is the view great from where you are?” Asked Elsa, smiling as she turned around.

Anna couldn’t believe it. That was her first concern? To make sure she enjoyed the landscape fully?

“Yeah! Yeah, it’s amazing.” Smiled Anna.

The sisters had to shout a bit when they talked, because of the whistling of the wind and the sound of Nokk’s ice hooves splashing the water. If they kept them in their regular state and they were made of water, it wouldn’t make a sound, for the water spirit’s hooves were magically connected to the surface.

Anna blinked.

“I can’t believe it. I’m literally riding water. I’m literally sitting on moving water that literally gallop on water.”

Elsa heard her sister’s mutters in her back, and giggled.

“This can’t be the weirdest thing you’ve ever experienced.”

Anna shook her head, her arms still clenched around Elsa, and she was surprised that her elder was confident enough to look behind her and not check where they were going at such a speed.

“No, your magic made me used to way weirder.” Laughed Anna. “But still. This is... Waow.”

The redhead smiled, tension finally leaving her, and she was appreciating the moment. “How did it feel the first time you rode them?”

Elsa smiled, and turned to the horizon with a blessed sigh. “Incredible.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t believe it either. This is insane.” Snorted Anna.

The water horse neighed, and Elsa laughed. “They like the compliment”, informed the blonde.

Anna detached her gaze from the sea to look at her sister. “You can understand everything they say? I mean, feel?”

“Yes. It’s like a bond. A magical one, certainly. I have the same with Bruni, and Gale, and every Earth Giant.”

“Every single one? Damn, that’s a lot.”

Elsa laughed. “I don’t feel the emotions of everyone all the time. It’s like... When I need it. And when they need it. We understand each other.”

Anna grinned. “It’s cute.”

She hugged Elsa tighter, and the Spirit wondered if she was scared of something despite how calm the water was. Then she realized that Anna was casually hugging her. She smiled and put a hand on her sister’s.

=======

After dismissing Nokk and letting Anna admire the entrance of the glacier, Elsa looked at how Anna was exhaling smoke.

The younger noticed how she stared, and chuckled at how she was the only one to do puff smoke. She imitated a dragon to make Elsa smile. But joy didn’t stay long on her sister’s face.

“You should put your beanie on already.”

Anna put the hat on her hair and nearly sank her head into it.

“Is your coat closed tight?”

“Yes, don’t worry.” Smiled Anna.

Elsa came to her, and checked the state of her clothes herself, from her toes to her head. She took a full minute doing so, and the redhead stared at her in silence, with a touched expression. The elder was looking at her with deep focus in her blue eyes, and Anna felt like she was a kid again, when the elder checked on her before they went outside to build a snowman. She also knew that Elsa had issues about her getting cold because of her.

“Elsa, I’m fine.”

“What did we say about the conditions?” Frowned the blonde.

Anna had to physically restrain herself to eye roll. “No lies; If I’m too cold, I tell you; And I don’t protest if you decide to cancel everything and to get out.”

She repeated that rule with a very annoying tone, and Elsa actually laughed at it. “You sound like you just recited a poetry you hate.”

“You made your rules that way.” Joked Anna. “Wait, did I use to recite poetry?”

“I can find you the memory again if you want. You look adorable when you’re little.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I’m ready for the awkward parts...” Winced Anna.

Elsa smiled. “Trust me, I have the worst ones.”

She took Anna’s hand in hers. “Come on, let’s go.”

The redhead gave her a giant smile, and together, they stepped inside Ahtohallan.

=======

Wooo, this was a long chapter! I had lots of fun writing it, and really wanted to include all of that. Ice Bros, Snow Sisters, Elsamaren... Those are all dynamics that requires tons of drama and confessions hahaha - but also cute moments!

What do you want to see next? This is an interactive fanfic! You get to choose, yep I listen to you. Give suggestions in your reblogs, fellas.

(If you like my style, you can check out Untangling the Frozen Knots, my 140K words fanfic novel! :D)

#frozen 2 fanfics #post frozen 2 fanfics #there you go guys!#this new chap was planned for tomorrow but i finished early and you all were excited after last chap's cliffhanger lol #sidenote: kristoff is a very open minded cute bear #we can thank the trolls #also OF COURSE elsa and anna weren't going to stay angry at each other for long #but i really wanted that exchange of letters #and anna knowing exactly how elsa would react and letting her some space #and that roll in the grass after the hug #and all those stuff that made me squealed as i typed them!!!#like the scene where honeymaren is worried about elsa and checks on her #anyway thank you SO MUCH for all the positive feedback you gave me so far i'm really touched #i'm having tons of fun and you are having tons of---well feels lol #frozen #elsamaren #ice bros #snow sisters #emergence #frozen fanfics #disney #disney fanfictions

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losingmymindtonight · 5 years ago

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The Reinvention of Tony Stark

AN: I scrolIed through about a 10,000 messages to find this (since this was originally just a stupid idea I decided to scream at @dazzlingtony because I was bored one afternoon), and then it took me literal MONTHS to clean up because I’m extra like that. I’m sorry in advance.

A little background before you read: this is set in a post-Endgame universe where Tony survives. It’s written as if it’s an interview article for a blog/magazine. I kinda wrote it in a style that I see used a lot in Rolling Stone and Vogue. I have no idea if it has any kind of formal name, but I love how this kind of article reads more like a story and internal monologue than a plain interview. It also happens to lend itself really well to what I wanted to convey. It really enjoy character studies through an outsider’s POV, and I also enjoy playing with different genres. I hope you enjoy my little experiment too!

Some people have done some wonderful art about this concept as well, all of which have really inspired me to get my ass back to writing this! Here are some links if you're interested in some jaw-dropped talent: @ceruleanmindpalace's art of Tony looking like a regal king as Time’s Person of the Year. @argieart‘s portrait of Tony smiling on the cover of Time that literally makes me want to cry.

(Note: this one is VERY long. If you’d rather read it on the AO3, I’m linking it here.)

“There are a lot of things you worry about when meeting Iron Man, and there are even more things you worry about when meeting Tony Stark.”

From playboy to the pinnacle of heroism: Tony Stark's life has been anything but quiet. In his first face-to-face interview since wielding the Infinity Stones, Iron Man lets the public in on a glimpse of his life as a retired superhero and stay-at-home dad.

There are a lot of things you worry about when meeting Iron Man, and there are even more things you worry about when meeting Tony Stark.

I worried about my clothes, my greeting, how he would perceive me. Despite my friends’ and coworkers’ near constant reassurances, I felt justified in my anxiety. Not only was this one of the richest men in the world, but he’d held the fate of the universe in the palm of his hand. What could he possibly think of me?

The morning of our interview, he texted me (yes, Tony Stark actually texted me, himself, on his own), and asked me to meet him at a park near his house. He said we could talk there, before meeting his family, because that was, of course, the whole point of the interview. I was going to be the first and, possibly, the only reporter allowed within ten feet of Stark’s personal life since the Decimation was reversed.

He was five minutes early. He drove an Audi prototype that I knew wasn’t on the market yet, and my nerves were instantly reignited, if I could claim that they had ever even remotely began to settle.

I had a lot of expectations for that first meeting. I’d built this man up in my head, and I wasn’t the only one. There were murals of him littering the streets of New York, statue after statue being erected in his honor across continents. The admiration of Tony Stark transcended differences in ways few things could. Political, racial, gender, religious, or any other number of societal divisions: Tony Stark built bridges between them all.

What could a man like that possibly be like? He had been ready to sacrifice himself for me, for us, for everyone. There must be something that set him apart, something in his demeanor that was just as awe-inspiring as the looming monuments built in his name.

Except the moment that he stepped out of the car wasn’t grand. I’d expected to be immediately overcome with a sense of his superiority, but he was shockingly unassuming. That isn’t to say that he didn’t carry with him a sense of easy confidence, which he did, but it was the kind of self-assurance that built my own up instantly.

He wasn’t dressed like I’d expected, either. I’d been looking for Armani suits or, at the very least, a set of street clothes that looked like they cost more than my entire wardrobe, but instead, he was wearing a worn leather jacket and dark wash jeans.

He shook my hand, and I ended up staring at his t-shirt for just a few seconds longer than I should’ve. It was light blue, which was, for some reason, not a color I’d expected the savoir of the universe to wear, with a cartoon Earth on the center, the words the rotation of the Earth really makes my day circling it.

I let out a little laugh before I could even consider the repercussions, and he smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. In that instant, he didn’t look like a man who had built an empire on military funding and war profiteering. He didn’t look like the richest man on the planet. He didn’t even look like a superhero: the man who had cradled destiny in his palm and forced the scales back into balance.

Instead, he reminded me, strangely, and a little embarrassingly, of my grandfather.

“It was a gift,” he said, shrugging, gesturing almost lazily around the shirt’s graphic. “from one of my kids. A, uh, I’m glad you didn’t die saving the entire universe kind of thing. You know how it is.”

I definitely didn’t, but I nodded anyway.

He asked me if I’d like to take a walk around some of the hiking trails, and I quickly agreed. As we set out, he offered me his arm, and I took it. There were a few bizarre seconds when I forgot to interview him, too overwhelmed by the fact that this was probably going to be one of the most surreal experiences of my entire life.

Eventually, he was the one who reminded me.

“I suppose you have questions.”

I jolted, letting out a nervous laugh. “Right. I’m so sorry.”

He waved a hand around in the air, dismissing the apology right away. “Don’t sweat it. I’m used to it.”

I imagined that he must be. He’d been striking people dumb since childhood. On paper, it looked like Tony Stark had always been destined for greatness. Born into riches, raised in the cradle of a patriot’s legacy: there was nothing out of reach for Howard Stark’s heir. He’d graduated MIT at just 17 years old, long before most children had gotten their high school diplomas, and been thrust straight into the life of a celebrity. Even after his parents’ deaths, Stark Industries only grew under his leadership.

And then, of course, came Iron Man.

The kidnapping, Afghanistan. The press conference that ushered the world into the age of superheroes. Tony Stark was at the forefront of it all, pioneering in every field he dared touch. Of all the Avengers, he was the one we knew. The one we recognized. Despite the suit of armor, every single one of us knew that underneath the exoskeleton, Tony Stark was painfully human.

Just like us.

And yet somehow, it still managed to be a surprise that, at the climax of it all, he was the one to offer the final sacrifice.

Except… it hadn’t been a sacrifice.

Or, at least, it hadn’t been as large a one as he must’ve imagined it would be, when he wielded the universe on his fist.

And, for the second time in our very brief acquaintance, I found myself torn back to reality by Tony Stark’s gentle voice.

It wasn’t until the moment he spoke that I realized that I had been staring at the red and gold prosthetic that sat in place of the man’s right arm. Stark held it up with a wry smile, letting the sleeve of his jacket slip down to give me a better view.

“Yes, well,” he regarded the metal with a hint of amusement, “suppose we ought to get that out of the way, too. Yes, the rumors are true: it’s very much gone. A shame, really. I had a fun little scar on my thumb. It looked a bit like an upside-down squirrel.”

I laughed despite myself, then sobered. “I… I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine…”

He shrugged, as if the loss of his arm was a minor inconvenience instead of a life-altering change. “Small price to pay. The prosthetic is a lot more durable than the real thing, anyway. Built it out of the same stuff as the suit, stuck with the color scheme, too.” He grinned. “Branding, y’know?”

“Now you’ll always be Iron Man,” I said, not thinking.

I’d been mortified the moment the words had left my mouth, but Stark had just nodded, as if it was the most obvious comment in the world.

“Funny,” he murmured, “that’s almost exactly what Peter said.”

A part of me knew that I should be prying for more stories from that final battle, gathering the blood-stained details that would get readers’ hearts pumping, but I was suddenly far more interested in Tony Stark, the human, rather than Iron Man, the hero.

So instead, I asked him how retired life was suiting him, and he seemed pleased by the question. He gestured grandly around the path we were taking, at the lake and the trees and the sloping landscape: the violent reverse of the concrete jungles we had both been raised within.

“As you can see, I certainly can’t complain about the views.”

“Are you bored?”

He chuckled to himself, as if I’d just hit on an inside joke without meaning to. “Bored? Never. Even if I wanted to be, I can’t imagine how I’d find the time.”

“Some people call you Pepper Pott’s trophy husband,” I joked, and I was surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. “I’ve always found that amusing.”

This time, he laughed full-out, open and bright. “Oh, it’s very accurate. These days, I leave nearly all the business to her. I’m just a stay-at-home dad.”

“And that works for you?” At his questioning look, I scrambled to clarify. “It’s just… I can’t imagine going from the life you’ve had to the life you have now. It’d give me whiplash.”

“It is hard, every once in a while,” he admitted. “But, mostly, I enjoy the peace. Or, the peace that the kids let me have.”

That was the money topic, perhaps even more so than Thanos’ defeat, and it was something he’d brought up himself at least twice now: his children. When I had been preparing for the interview, I hadn’t known how to approach it, but it felt surprisingly natural in the moment.

“How is your family? I assume by kids, you mean Morgan, and, well…”

He paused at a picnic table, and gestured for me to sit. I did, and he settled down across from me, finishing my sentence.

“And Peter.”

“Right. And Peter.”

Peter Parker. The child that Tony Stark created a memorial fund for in the wake of the Decimation, and the child that, on the few occasions when he’d ventured into the city since using the Stones, he always seemed to have trotting along at his heels.

Before Thanos’ defeat and Stark’s resulting dance with death, all questions about Peter had been answered with the same harsh response: that the kid was his intern, and nothing more. Afterwards, however, there had been a sudden switch. In the few recent press releases that had mentioned Tony Stark and his family, Peter had been unanimously included.

I decided to inquire specifically about the health of his children at this point, careful to use the plural to watch for his reaction, and everything about Stark seemed to soften. A layer that I hadn’t even realized he’d had raised suddenly dropped away, revealing an adoration that was entirely uncensored. It was as if I’d just hit on his favorite topic in the world.

It was nothing like I’d imagined from him, but it also felt as if this was his most natural form. The superhero, the weapons dealer, the playboy: these were all just facades.

I wondered if I might be one of the first outsiders to truly catch a glimpse of who Tony Stark actually was.

“They’re both brilliant,” he breathed. “You’ll meet them later, when we head back to the cabin. Peter’s, uh, Peter’s 16, which I’m sure you already know. He’ll go back to high school in the fall, as a junior. We’re waiting for the College Board to get their shit back together so he can take the SAT. Morgan just turned 5. She’s in preschool, kicking ass. She’s already reading way above her level, because she’s just that smart, and we’re in a phase where I have to pretend to like something from her Easy-Bake oven nearly every day. They’re both a lot nicer than me.”

I knew that my next question was verging into dangerous territory, but I asked it anyway.

“Peter was one of the Vanished, wasn’t he?”

He regarded me with a sharp gaze, and I suddenly felt like a bug under a microscope. This was the look of a man who had run a multi-million dollar business for the entirety of his adult life. It was calculating, cold. The switch happened so suddenly that it made my head spin, and I felt the loss of his warmth keenly.

“That’s not a secret.”

I stuttered out an apology, but he pushed it aside. Instead, he shot a question back, which wasn’t uncommon but certainly wasn’t usual with these kinds of interviews.

“Were you?”

I nodded my affirmation, and he seemed completely unsurprised.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“Did you look me up, before today?”

“No, I can see it in your eyes.”

I asked him what he meant by that.

“The people who didn’t Vanish are colder,” was all he said in return, but it was enough to send chills down my spine.

“You don’t seem colder.”

“You don’t know me.”

I dropped it. I just wanted to stick to the script, for a while. Tony Stark was proving to be even more complex than I’d imagined, and that was saying something. He seemed to bounce from guiding warmth to flinty steel in the slip of sentences, and the changes were as predictable as the summer thunder storms that used to tear through my grandparent’s Georgia lake house. One second the skies were sunny, humid heat beating down on your sunburnt shoulders, and the next the trees were quivering under the weight of wind-howls and lashing rain.

“Can I ask about the battle?”

A tiny smile pulled at his face. For such a sensitive topic, he seemed to relax. “Which one?”

Which one? It baffled me, for a moment, that the man sitting with me at a splinter-heavy picnic table, wearing a science pun t-shirt that looked like it had been ordered off of Amazon Prime, had been in enough life-or-death conflicts that he had to make me clarify which one.

“The… The final one.”

“You want to know about the gauntlet.”

And, yes, that was exactly what I wanted to know. It was exactly what my editor wanted me to know, too, what we knew our readers would gobble up. The Infinity Stones were fascinating, in the way the human species tended to covet and idolize the things that filled us up with horror.

“I do. Why did you put it on?”

“I knew that I had to,” he said, like that one decision hadn’t been the most monumental of our generation.

“Did you know you were going to survive?”

There was a profound sorrow in his eyes that told me my answer before he even opened his mouth.

“I thought I was a goner, actually. Thought I still was afterwards, too, although I barely remember it. My memories really start back in the hospital, about a week later.”

“Were you scared?”

It was such a childish question, but it seemed appropriate. He must’ve been, of course, but my mind couldn’t quite grasp the concept of someone like him experiencing the same reality that I did. I felt fear, but did he? He seemed so much more than human, now, so much more than me.

He smiled. “Terrified.” He shifted, fiddling absentmindedly with his watch. “The thing is, everyone thinks that I did it for the greater good. And… maybe I did, to some degree. But when I snapped, I was only thinking about my family. You can judge me for that however you want.”

“I don’t think that’s wrong. I think that’s… I think that’s just human.”

He watched me quietly for a few breaths, studying. “You know,” he finally said, “you really do remind me of Peter.”

It wasn’t long after this that I finally got to meet the teenager in question. Stark brought me back to his car and, as soon as I was settled in the passenger’s seat, handed me a security badge.

“Here, put that on. Don’t take it off.”

I did as I was told. “Does everyone who comes to visit you have to have one of these?”

He pulled out onto the road with a tiny smirk on his face, eyes obscured by a pair of sunglasses he’d slipped on once we’d gotten into the car. “Most of the people who visit me are already in my AI’s systems. But, yes.”

“Are you worried about your safety?”

He shrugged. “Not necessarily my safety. Despite retiring, my AI can operate the suits, and so could I, given enough reason, although I’m sure that this,” he held up his prosthetic again, “might make things a little more difficult.”

“So why all the security?”

“Reporters,” he said, glancing over at me, and I suddenly felt a strange sense of shame. “I want Morgan to grow up as normal as possible, and I don’t want Peter’s life ruined anymore than it already is. The least I can do for them is make sure that no paparazzi can get within range to take photos of them at the house. That’s a safe space, for all of us.”

And yet he was bringing me there: directly into their safe space. I couldn’t help but wonder why, so I asked, hoping that I wasn’t about to drop yet another dark veil over the atmosphere.

Thankfully, Stark took the question with ease, as if he’d been expecting it, eventually. “People are fascinated with forbidden things. If I make my house and my family entirely off-limits, the public’s interest only grows. But if I let a few people in, people we’ve carefully chosen, then it starts to lose its appeal.”

“That’s clever.”

“I’ve been playing this game for my whole life. I know how to gain the upper hand.”

I paused. “Do you want me to print that?”

He hit the brakes at a stop sign, and turned to look at me over the rim of his sunglasses. Maybe I was imagining it, but I swore that I saw a flicker of respect in his gaze. “You can print anything I say. I’m not afraid of public opinion. It’ll swing whichever way it wants, and it really doesn’t matter what I do about it.”

“It’s pretty in your favor right now.”

“The key words of that statement are right and now.”

“So you don’t think it’ll stay that way?”

“I know it won’t.”

I didn’t know if I agreed with him, but I stayed quiet. I imagined, though, that it would take a truly ungrateful world to tear down the man that had saved it. I wanted to think better of humanity than that, even if Tony Stark himself seemed to struggle with the optimism.

We drove through three security checkpoints before pulling into the cabin’s driveway. It was smaller than I’d expected, but that still made it larger than an average house. In fact, its size made Stark’s designation of it as a cabin seem almost comical. Dark brown siding melted into stone accents. A chimney rose up through the trees that clustered around the front porch’s carefully-maintained railing. In the distance, I could see the sunlight playing on the lake. There was a boat in the dock, bobbing peacefully in the morning waves.

It didn’t look like a museum, or the palace of a king. It looked like a home.

Morgan Stark herself was waiting on the porch. She looked smaller in person, but more lively as well. In the few paparazzi photos I’d seen of her, she’d always seemed frightened and unsure. Now, though, she came barreling down the porch steps like a rocket, overexcited shouts of Daddy! filling the air.

Stark scooped her up as soon as she got to us, face melting into a smile. He looked calm, again, and perfectly in his element. It hit me rather suddenly that the savoir of the universe was, at the end of the day, just a father who loved his children enough to lay his life down for their futures.

I liked Tony Stark better as a man than as a god, I decided. And from the look on his daughter’s face, she agreed with me.

I was introduced to Morgan right there in the driveway, and it seemed to take her all of a minute to decide that I was a perfectly acceptable addition to the scenery. I’d been expecting more resistance, more of Stark’s wariness, but in the end all I got was a childlike acceptance.

I met Pepper Stark next. Her new last name still tripped me up, even four years after her wedding. No matter how much I tried to condition myself, I could still remember her as Pepper Potts: a lingering presence over New York, formidable CEO and, by all accounts, the only person on Earth who could control the great Tony Stark.

She was sitting in the living room, which happened to be the first space I saw when Stark ushered me through the front door and into the cabin’s cozy warmth. There was a fireplace against the wall, leather couches and armchairs tucked up against it’s glow. A simple staircase led upstairs, but we walked past that, further into the house.

Mrs. Potts was kind in a controlled, well-groomed sort of way. Her demeanor wasn’t fake, necessarily, but I recognized the carefully prepped exterior of a woman who had learned to fight battles in a man’s arena. Besides that, I could also see that she wasn’t certain of me. There was something in her eyes that told me that while she didn’t dislike me, she didn’t necessarily want me in her house, either.

I could understand the trepidation. She and her husband had fled the public eye five years ago, when the Decimation had turned all gazes to the Avengers for answers, for someone to blame. Then, six months ago, her husband had very nearly become a sacrificial lamb.

She had very nearly been forced to raise their child all alone. Staring that in the face must change a person. It had to.

After the introductions had faded into idle conversation, Morgan declared that she was going to go “get Petey,” and raced off up the stairs. A minute or two later, she returned, dragging a teenage boy along by his hand.

Peter Parker was, for lack of a better word, shy. When he met my eyes, usually by accident, he immediately darted them back down to the carpet. He was a little awkward, a little nerdy. His hair was curly, and way too long. A few strands stuck out from the rest, and he stuttered over himself when he spoke. In many ways, he didn’t seem to have any of the suave, easy-going charisma that Stark did.

But Stark loved him. That much was clear from the moment he stepped into the room. Tony Stark looked at his children as if it was a new experience every single time, and it only got more and more breathtaking as the years wore on.

Once we’d finally made it through all the necessary greetings, Morgan tugged on my sleeve and asked if I could give her an interview. I looked to Stark for permission. He went to sit on a couch a few feet away, guiding Peter along with him by pressing a hand against the small of his back, and made a lazy gesture for me to go ahead. He propped his feet up on a crayon-stained ottoman as he watched me, calculating.

I had never interviewed a child before, although I knew at least one of my colleagues who had. Still, she seemed like a smart kid, eyes blinking up at me with barely-contained excitement, so I proceeded just like I usually would.

“How old are you, Morgan?”

“Five!”

“Do you like school?”

“Yeah!”

“What’s your favorite thing to do, there?”

“I like art.”

That was surprising. The daughter of Tony Stark, an artist. It wasn’t what I’d expected at first, but the more I considered it, the more it made sense. What were the Iron Man suits, if not a work of art?

“Do you do a lot of art at home, too?”

“I do! I like to draw portraits of Mommy and Daddy and Peter.” Her face lit up, and she bounced to her feet. “I can draw you one now, if you want!”

“I’d love that.”

As she raced off towards her bedroom, presumably to gather up what were sure to be absurdly expensive art supplies for a five-year-old, I marveled at the fact that she seemed so… normal. Perhaps that was another way that my warped concept of Tony Stark had led me astray. I’d expected his children to be, well, more than normal children. Different, somehow, more serious or solemn or conscious of the power they wielded in the world, and yet even Peter seemed detached from it all. In the few moments when I managed to forget that I was sitting on Tony Stark’s couch in Tony Stark’s living room, the family life sprawling out around me had the same domestic taste as my own childhood memories.

Maybe that was a testament to the Starks’ parenting techniques, or maybe it was a testament to the power of hero worship. The human race could, it seemed, build any man into a legend.

The next few hours slipped by in a domino chain of normalcy. Morgan came back downstairs and covered the floor with crayons and pencils and three different sketchbooks. She drew me a portrait of her family. I’d been expecting stick figures from a child her age, but she drew a series of people that were so well-formed that I could point out which person was which without her telling me first.

Stark got up and made sandwiches for lunch, and everyone ate in the living room except for Peter, who disappeared for the meal but came back in just as it was finished. Nobody else seemed to think that his vanishing act was atypical, so I didn’t comment on it.

As the day crept forward, and my awe at the unexpected normalcy faded, I started seeing those kinds of gaps in greater frequency. Yes, this family wasn’t as abnormal as I’d originally anticipated, but they weren’t entirely normal, either. And the more I looked, the more I saw those blips. Even as Stark worked so hard to leave the superhero life behind him, it still bled through the cracks.

Morgan Stark didn’t seem to notice her father’s prosthetic arm, or the ugly scars that marred half of his face, but Peter Parker did. He danced around the man’s injured side, always brushing shoulders with the left but giving the right as wide a berth as possible. Every once in a while, when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, his gaze would linger just a little too long on the back of the prosthetic’s hand: the space where, according to rumors, Stark had born the Infinity Stones.

Pepper Potts gave less obvious signals, but they were still there. When she handed Stark a new mug of coffee, she went out of her way to place it in his flesh hand. Even more than that, she was always half watching her husband, as if a stray wind might tear him away from her.

The paranoia was in Stark, too, although that was far less of a surprise, considering his reputation. He was almost predatory about the way he guarded his children, and Peter in particular seemed to spark something fierce and mother bear-ish in him, which was a phrase I never would have expected to use in relation to one of the most powerful men in the universe.

I couldn’t help but wonder if Morgan or Peter understood that: the concept that their father, the man who fixed the broken wheels on Morgan’s doll carriages or shamelessly bragged about Peter’s intelligence to anyone who would listen, had the whole world, the whole universe, breathless in awe. His endorsement or censor could build or topple political campaigns. His name made people pause mid-step. The very concept of his existence was enough to influence the unfolding of strangers’ lives.

I doubted that Morgan knew, but I had an inkling that Peter might. But even more than that, I had a pretty solid suspicion that even if Peter did know, he just didn’t care.

Peter fascinated me, both as a human and as a reporter. He was sweet and shy, and yet I knew that there must be something else underneath it. The way Stark looked at him was unique, and unlike Morgan, he was old enough to perceive that.

I wanted to talk to him. So, I jumped on it.

“Do you mind if I talk to Peter, before I leave?”

I’d deduced that Stark was fiercely protective of Peter, and the man’s reaction to the question did little to contradict that conclusion. I supposed that it made sense, considering the Decimation. To lose a child and gain them back was a complicated thing, and he wasn’t the only parent struggling through life in the aftermath of that whiplash.

“If Peter wants to talk to you,” he finally said, jaw tight.

As it turned out, Peter did want to talk to me, much to Stark’s barely concealed displeasure. In fact, it seemed like he’d prefer an emergency root canal to letting me go just about anywhere with the teenager, but he didn’t stop us. From the surprised look on Peter’s face, that was probably some kind of progress.

We went onto the front porch, at his request, and sat on the wooden steps rather than the rocking chairs carefully placed to offer views of the lake.

“So,” he said as soon as we were seated, “how do we do this?”

“I ask you questions, and you answer them.”

I didn’t mean for the explanation to sound so sarcastic, but he grinned, eyes twinkling.

“Yeah, okay,” he laughed, a hint of nervousness in the sound, “I probably should’ve guess that bit. Well, ask away, then.”

“Do you live here now?”

He shrugged. “Kinda, but kinda not. When school starts I’ll have to spend a lot more time at my aunt’s place, but for now I try to split it fifty-fifty.”

“You’re not Stark’s secret biological kid, right?”

That question earned me a sly glance. He seemed to toy with his answer, mischief growing with every passing second.

“I think I’ll let people keep wondering about that, actually. Mister Stark thinks it’s fun to watch them stew.”

“And Stark said you were nicer than him.”

Peter snorted. Obviously, that piece of information wasn’t a surprise. “Yeah, he does that.”

“And you don’t agree?”

“You’ve met him, right? You know he’s wrong.”

“He’s… a lot nicer than I expected, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah. A lot of people say that, if they actually give him a chance.”

I could tell, just from that minuscule exchange, that Peter loved Tony Stark just as much as I’d seen Tony Stark love him, that the teenager saw something in the man beyond what I did. That knowledge wasn’t necessarily surprising, but it was refreshing. In some ways, it made the savoir of the universe that bit more human.

“Stark told me you’re going to be a junior in the fall.”

Peter’s face turned a little red, every bit the embarrassed teenager who just found out that their parent had been bragging about them behind their back. “Oh, no. What else did he say?”

“That you were brilliant.”

“Ew.”

I laughed. “I assume you like school?”

“Uh, I mean, yeah. I like learning.”

“You must be very smart, to have caught Stark’s attention in the first place.”

“I’m alright, yeah.”

I knew that he was being modest. All of the information I had on Peter Parker told me that he was a proper genius, rivaling even Tony Stark’s IQ.

“Do you remember coming back, after the Decimation?”

Peter’s shoulders tensed, and I wondered if I’d just crossed a line. There seemed to be a lot of those, in this house, in this family. An unspoken guidebook of limits and cautions that I hadn’t been made privy to.

“I do,” he finally said.

“I assume that you don’t want to talk about it?”

“No, not really. Sorry.”

“That’s fine.” It was, too. Talking about the Decimation didn’t bother me, but it did bother some of my friends. It was just different coping mechanisms, I supposed, and I understood not wanting to go into such a traumatic experience with a stranger. “When did you find out what happened to Tony?”

He seemed to choose his words carefully. I’d been interviewing people for long enough to know when an answer had been rehearsed, and Peter just wasn’t as good at lying as Stark.

“Pretty soon after.”

“And the first time you saw him was in the hospital?”

“Yes.”

Another lie, which was interesting. In any other interview, I probably would’ve tried to pry for the truth, but I had a weird feeling that Stark would know the second I so much as mildly upset Peter, and it wouldn’t end well for me if he did.

“It must’ve been hard, when you heard about what he did.”

Peter watched me carefully for a few seconds, and my previous evaluation of him gave way to something new. He was shy, yes, but he was smart. Even smarter than Stark, maybe, or maybe he just wasn’t as good at controlling it yet. Still, I could see the raw, borderline brutal intelligence in his eyes. He was running every inch of me through his brain like I was an equation to unwind.

“It wasn’t my favorite day of my life, no.”

“Is that why you spend so much time here, now?’

A pause. He was still sizing me up. I could tell.

“Sort of.”

“I never thought of Tony Stark as a father, you know,” I said easily, testing his reaction. “Even after we heard about Morgan being born, it was hard to imagine.”

“That’s because everyone thinks that they know him, but they don’t.”

I was caught off guard by how quickly he said it and, from the look on Peter’s face, so was he.

I asked him if there was one thing that he wished people did know about Tony Stark.

“He’s complicated, but that doesn’t make him bad,” is all Peter said.

Stark was lurking by the door when we come back in, and Peter didn’t even try to hide his eye roll. He made a joke about having survived the interview without spontaneously combusting, which didn’t seem to land all that well with Stark. For a second, it looked like he was about to scold the teenager, but then his eyes darted over to me and he silently glared instead.

My last hour at the Starks’ cabin was spent getting a tour of the house and surrounding acreage. The kids stayed back in the living room with Mrs. Potts, so I found myself alone with Tony Stark once again.

I’d seen photographs and videos from inside the Stark Tower penthouse, and the décor in his cabin was as far from that style as I could imagine. Where the Tower was sleek and steeped in modern, minimalist designs, the cabin was more rustic. It had a farmhouse vibe, and the furniture was worn and used. It was, without a doubt, a lived-in space.

I only saw a single room upstairs: Stark’s office. Otherwise, I was told that the floor held his and his children’s bedrooms.

“Peter would disown me if I let anyone into his room, and, besides,” Stark said, leading me back down the stairs and away from the hallway of locked doors, “some spaces ought to stay private.”

We spent the rest of the house tour chatting about superficial topics, like the Yankees’ most recent loss and how awful it is to drive in New York at rush hour. Once we stepped outside, however, the conversation got a little more interesting. One of our first stops was a half-downed tree, which Stark pointed to while looking unexpectedly somber.

“The roots gave out during a few days of pretty bad storms about two weeks ago,” he said. “It’s a shame, I guess. Morgan and Peter used to climb all over it. Gave me a good few heart attacks while they were at it, but at least they were having fun.”

He took me down to the dock, where he showed me the boat they kept tethered there. I asked him if he did any fishing, and he laughed.

“Not a chance. I’m rotten at it, Peter’s too nice to kill anything, and Morgan just doesn’t care.”

“And Mrs. Potts?”

His smirk was fond and knowing. “If she ever slows down long enough to even consider fishing, I’ll let you know.”

The cabin’s ground were nice. They weren’t immaculately well-kept, but they weren’t entirely wild, either. It felt very natural, and when I asked Stark who did the landscaping, he told me that he took care of most of it himself.

“Don’t look too carefully at some of the details,” he warned. “I’m an amateur at best, and it doesn’t help that I’ve usually got at least one kid quote-unquote helping while I work.”

“It seems to me like you’re good at just about everything you do.”

“That’s because I rarely do things that I’m not good at.”

I couldn’t help but ask if he was at all grateful for Thanos as we walked back to his car. I knew that it sounded a little perverse, a little brutal, especially considering the prosthetic arm that was a constant reminder of the physical losses he endured, but it was a curiosity that I couldn’t scratch. At the end of the day, it seemed like Stark had come out of that tragedy far more solid than he’d gone in. He had a family, a wife, a beautiful cabin on the lake. He was living in a paradise.

“Maybe,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say I’m grateful for something that resulted in five years of grief for a universe, but I am grateful for the way it ended up. There are worse things to lose than an arm.”

He drove me back to the park, where we’d met so many hours before. My Chevy was the only vehicle left in the lot, that late in the evening. He got out once we parked, came around to open my door, and walked me the few steps it took to get to my car.

“Any last words?” Stark asked, and while he didn’t seem to get the irony of that question, I certainly did.

This was a man who once had chosen his final words. It felt ridiculous to compare that moment to this one: a dusk-stained parking lot, my 2008 Chevy Cobalt, and the biggest problem in my future being late-night New York traffic.

“Why did you choose me?” I asked, hand paused on my door’s handle. “You’ve denied every other reporter’s request for an interview, so what made you pick me?”

He smirked. The streetlight glinted off his metal arm.

“I didn’t,” he said. “Peter did.”

He patted the roof of my car, then stepped away.

“Drive safe.”

#hi y'all I'm back on my bullshit #been writing this for MONTHS #help #irondad #tony stark #peter parker #morgan stark #tony & peter #tony & morgan #losingmymindtonight writes

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