#also one second i need to make the second part of the poll

[mapofsouthdakota]

Caffeine, chemistry and Caleb III

Synopsis: The café was supposed to be just another coffee shop. For a law student who enjoys her morning coffee and a shy newbie still learning the ropes, it should have been nothing more than part of the daily routine… But then there’s Caleb.

Details: 1500 words. Pt 3 is up at em! Non-MC!Reader as the law student POV. Expect flirting, hot af barista Caleb, jealousy and plenty of banter with the newbie barista. Today Caleb surprises you… kind of. And the MC, who knows where she is? Mystery, indeed… Poll below! The last one… me thinks heeeeh.

Parts: initial one shot, pt 1, newbie POV, pt 2, pt 4

Tags: @gavin3469 @unstablemiss @i-messed-up-big-time @mipov101

Your Honor, he’s smirking again | Pt. 3

The law library is supposed to be sacred ground. Hushed reverence. Paper rustling. People highlighting like their lives depend on it.

But your laptop screen is currently filled with… apples.

Literally. Just—apple images. Cross-sections. Vintage posters. Pages of orchard trivia.

And your notes? They’ve completely devolved.

Exhibit A: Apple juice (Caleb’s drink of choice. Unexpected. Possibly romantic.)

Exhibit B: Apple charm on chain. Small. Worn. Too meaningful to be aesthetic.

Exhibit C: The way he said, “I just have a thing for apples.” With a grin like a sealed affidavit.

Tapping your pen against your teeth, you stare down your own handwriting. You’ve written “Who is she?” in the margin no less than six times. Circling each one harder than the last.

The charm wasn’t random. You know it. It was the kind of thing someone gives you when they mean it. And Caleb? Caleb doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to wear things without meaning.

You click open another tab. Type: “Apple symbolism in relationships.”

You’re mid-scroll on an article called ‘What Your Favorite Apple Says About Your Soulmate’ (Red Delicious apparently equals “overcommitted and delusional”—rude)

It’s the push you need. You close your laptop, shove it into your bag, and make a snap decision to change the scene.

Because obviously, the most rational way to break your obsession with Caleb… is to go sit directly in his workplace.

——————————————————————————

The café is quiet when you arrive—except for the simmer of K-pop in the background. You knew the newbie was into that kind of music (not that you’re judging, though you definitely are, just a little).

The newbie catches sight of you and gives a small, almost imperceptible nod from behind the counter—equal parts “welcome back” and “still spiraling, huh?”

You nod back: Of course you’re spiraling.

Behind the counter, the newbie shrugs—same, but in their own way. A silent acknowledgment. Two members of the same tragic club.

You pick your usual table, set down your things, and open your laptop again.

Two minutes later, you’re back on apple symbolism. Like you never left.

Your phone buzzes.

newbie: stop i can feel it from here

You glance around. One earbud in, apron on, their usual slouch behind the counter. They catch your eye for half a second, then immediately look back down like they weren’t just watching you.

You message back:

You: the charm’s an apple, right?? it has to mean something… do people wear apple charms for fun???

newbie: i dunno. i’m not the fruit feelings department.

You stare at your screen. Then back at them.

The newbie moves to wipe down a table as you approach—clearly already clean, but it gives them something to do with their hands. You try to look casual. You are not.

“Hypothetical question,��� you say, voice pitched at normal human volume. “Has Caleb ever dated someone who… also had a weird fruit obsession?”

They glance at you. “Hypothetical?”

You nod. “Purely academic. Research purposes. National interest.”

Newbie gives you a look like I cannot believe I am complicit in this. Then sighs. “You mean like… an apple girl?”

You freeze. “She’s real?”

“I mean—no,” they say quickly, eyes flicking toward the espresso machine like it might save them. “I don’t think there’s a her. Or… if there is, she’s not, like, around. Never been around here, at least…”

You squint. “But?”

They shift their weight, fingers tugging at the edge of their sleeve. “It’s just… the necklace? It’s always there. Like—always.”

They glance at you, voice dropping a little. “He’ll swap out rings, change outfits, wear different earrings sometimes—but that chain? Never leaves his neck.”

Another pause. Then, softer: “It’s like it’s part of him.”

There’s a flicker of something hesitant—like regret, or just shyness. “Sorry. That’s all I’ve got. I just… notice stuff.”

You try not to let your face do anything dramatic.

“That’s fine,” you say. “It’s fine. Just… taking mental notes.”

They nod slowly. “You look like you asked for peace of mind and got a busy signal.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Hey, that’s rude. Accurate. But rude.”

Then the bell above the door rings.

And you know it’s him. The shift in atmosphere gives it away before you even turn.

Caleb walks in like he owns the lighting—hair ruffled, a worn athletic zip-up hugging his frame just right, one strap of a backpack slung over his shoulder, and a grin in place like it was designed by a committee and unanimously approved.

Your eyes flick straight to his chest. But the jacket’s zipped, collar popped just enough to block the spot where the chain usually peeks out.

You squint. Casually. Or as casually as someone hunting for emotional evidence can look.

Nothing.

Just soft cotton, a flash of silver from a ring on his hand—but no charm. No dog tag. No apple.

It feels like someone ripped a page out of your evidence binder for a class case prep.

“Golden Girl,” he calls, spotting you. “Back again. You really can’t resist a good caffeine felony.”

You open your mouth to shoot something back, but he’s already striding over, apron in one hand, and—

“Hey, actually,” he says, slowing near your table, “I need a legal opinion.”

You blink. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve got this customer,” he says, eyes too bright. “Keeps showing up. Possibly addicted to me. Definitely judging my apple juice innovations.”

Your stomach flips. “Sounds serious.”

���Oh, it is.” He pulls out the chair across from you and sits down like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Might have to take legal action. Or hire a very competent defense attorney.”

“You’d need one,” you say. “Because that drink was a crime.”

He leans forward just slightly, eyes glinting. “Maybe I’m hoping you’ll prosecute me.”

Your thoughts immediately call for a recess. Indefinitely.

“Are you… asking for a mock trial date?”

He shrugs. “I prefer to think of it as… study support. Mutual interest. Also, I brought cookies.”

Caleb reaches into his backpack and pulls out a small paper bag like a magician pulling a rabbit—casual, practiced, unfairly charming. “Bribery,” he says, voice low and amused. “Very illegal. But effective.”

You’re laughing before you can stop yourself. “Fine. But if I catch even one apple reference in your opening statement—”

“You’ll what?” he says, tilting his head. “Sentence me to flirtation?”

You groan. “That was terrible.”

“That was golden, Golden Girl.”

Your phone buzzes under the table.

newbie: get a room. or i’m calling HR

You glance toward the counter.

They’re watching you over the espresso machine, one eyebrow raised, tongue piercing catching the light as they chew their lip to keep from laughing.

You fire back:

You: enjoy your floor mop. i’m cross-examining the emotionally unavailable hot guy.

You look up. Caleb is watching you, still leaning forward like he’s waiting for your verdict.

Then, with one lazy motion, he unzips his jacket.

And there it is.

The chain catches the light as the fabric shifts. The dog tag resting against his chest, and just beside it, the apple charm. Small. Still there.

Definitely still there. Damn.

Your want to bite your lip.

Instead you pick up one of the cookies. Take a bite. Chew slowly.

Then narrow your eyes at him, mid-chew.

“You baked these, didn’t you?”

Caleb raises a brow, smug. “Maybe.”

You shake your head, still chewing. “Unbelievable. I can taste the real butter.”

He laughs. “That good?”

You point at the cookie like it personally betrayed you. “I hate how good this is.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, all lazy confidence, one hand propping up his jaw like this is fun for him.

You chew like it’ll help quiet the spike of jealousy and tension in your chest. You straighten yourself, back to normal.

“Well,” you say. “I suppose I could consult. For a fee.”

“Oh yeah?” His grin sharpens. “What’s your rate?”

You lift an eyebrow. “Tell me who the apple charm’s from.”

He stills—just for a beat.

Then he smiles again. Slower. Warmer. Almost… fond.

“Dangerous question,” he murmurs.

“Try me.”

He doesn’t answer. Just pulls out his own notebook—small, leather-bound, lived-in—and flips it open to a blank page.

“Fine,” he says, voice warm, a little too casual. “Let’s make this a real trial. You ask your questions. I’ll take the stand.”

It’s a joke. Maybe. But there’s something in the way he says it. In the way he doesn’t look away.

And for a second, you think—he wants to be known.

Which might be worse than anything you imagined about the apple girl.

Because now you’re not just spiraling.

You’re falling.

You open your mouth, ready to press him further—channeling your inner attorney, zeroing in on the charm. But you don’t get the chance.

There’s a sharp crash from behind the counter.

You both turn.

The newbie stands frozen mid-shift, holding half of a shattered glass in one gloved hand, the other covered in foam and regret.

Caleb’s on his feet in a heartbeat, already crossing the room. “Hey, you okay?” he says, all soft and low as he crouches down beside them.

He pats their back gently—steady, reassuring—then starts gathering the mess, hands careful around the broken pieces like he’s done this before.

“Don’t worry about it,” he murmurs. “Happens to everyone.”

You catch the newbie’s eyes over his shoulder. Wide, guilty, and very clearly saying: Sorry.

You blink once, then give a tiny, resigned nod back: It’s fine. I’m coming back.

And you both know it’s true.

——————————————————————————

Part 4

——————————————————————————

Writer’s note: Writing this is my perfect drug. Caleb flirting + the law student snapping back = pure brain bliss. I LOVE THEM. Final poll time (24hrs only!): are we yeeting the MC out of the universe or letting her stay? The arc works either way but… I gotta say, keeping her? Chef’s kiss. Superior flavor, in my humble chaotic opinion. And Red Delicious does not mean overcommitted and delusional it’s just my sad sense of humor. Okey then, thank you for reading 🫶🏻

[anthonycrowley]

deletes don’t count. this is how long you’ve known about/been part of this website. if you left and came back say when you made your first blog even if you no longer have access to it (but also tell me how long you were gone for because i’m nosy like that)

[sylphwing]

it's kinda like this 🤔

[angelbarelywritesslashers]

♡ slashers scenarios | your first time together is…your first time

♡ fandoms; The Boy, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2006), slashers (general)

♡ characters; Brahms Heelshire, Micheal Myers, Thomas Hewitt

♡ reader; gender neutral - i tried to be ambiguous but where i couldn’t be, i gave an option for both sets of parts uwu

♡ cw; sex (this is smut my friend), a little bit of implied breeding kink, possessiveness

♡ notes; what it says on the tin; you lose your virginity the first time you have sex with your stabby bf. i can only dream 😔

also, probably the last fic with a random selection of characters , i have the poll results n everything. vincent was the winner and brahms three percent behind him, so they’re being added to a-team permanently

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Brahms Heelshire

> he’s relieved when you tell him you haven’t gone that far before

> because he’s a virgin too, and probably more nervous than you are

> he’s eager though- he’s always eager when it comes to you

> he pulls you on top, grabbing your hips and grinding up on you as you kiss

> and then he urges you to use his face- fuck it or sit on it, depending on what you’re working with

> and while your hesitant, not wanting to overwhelm him for his first time

> but god, he’s a good little sub, and he loves every second of it

> after he’s made you cum, he pulls away- practically still drooling, and begs for you to touch him

> he bucks up into your hand immediately, already so hard he’s twitching

> if he lasts more than a few pumps, he flips you, seeming shy to pin you, but trying his best

> and he has to take a breather to make sure he doesn’t immediately cum inside you

> he’s slow at first, literally shaking

> and for your first time, it’s all missionary- he needs to watch your face, making sure he’s doing a good job

> and making sure he tells you how pretty you are

> he cums first, he just can’t help it- but he’s not at all hesitant to replace his cock with his fingers

> and he makes sure you cum at least twice more, using his mouth again if he needs to

> by the time you finally catch your breath, he’s already more than ready for round 2

Micheal Myers

> he’s already pushing you to your knees in front of him when you manage to tell him

> he pauses- he’s not sure what to do

> he’s always rough.

> and he’d been rough with you thus far

> he rubs your cheek softly and huffs- and at first you think he’s going to put a stop to things for the day

> until he throws you over his shoulder, giving your ass a playful squeeze in the process

> of course he’s not going to fuck you on the porch like an animal

> not for your very first time at least

> he drops you on the bed and takes his mask off

> it’s not the first time you’ve seen him without it, but it’s still special

> he teases you, hands all over your body as he carefully watches your reactions

> he has you in your undies when he finally gets impatient and goes back to his usual selfishness

> he had you get on your knees again- this time more gently coaxing, and guides you through taking him

> and for the record, there’s a lot to take

> before you have him too needy he lays you down

> you can tell this is going to be a once in a while thing, so you savor the sight of him between your thighs

> he eats you out/rims you like it’s his goddamn job, staring up at you all the while

> it’d be creepy if he wasn’t so good at what he was doing

> if you insist on missionary, he’ll let you this time

> but he wants you doggy so he can watch you take him inch by inch

> this boy has so much stamina

> you cum three times before he finally pulls out, painting your back

> you try to sit up but he doesn’t let you- he’s not done with you

> not even close

Thomas Hewitt

> something about his eyes darken when you tell him you’re a virgin

> he’d never be the one to initiate something first - he’s far too scared of crossing your boundaries to lead like that

> so if you’re telling him, it’s probably because you’re telling him you want him to take your virginity

> and even though he never believed in the Bible, or the sexist shit Hoyt always spouted

> he’s possessive, and if something about being your first is exciting. it was another part of you that’d be all his

> before you know it the man is ripping your clothes off. like literally ripping.

> he manhandles you- unintentionally, but it’s hard for him not to with your size difference

>he spreads your thighs wide apart and goes to town

> he goes down on you again, and again, and again and—

> by the time he sits up you’re already overstimulated

> but it’s his turn, and he’s eager to take it

> you can feel how huge he is through his pants, and your jaw drops when you see him

> “Tommy, that won’t fit”

> he huffs, amused through his mask and nuzzles you reassuringly

> he starts in missionary, but then he pushes your legs up into a full mating press

> he fucks into you deep and hard, going faster until you’re babbling nonsense

> he pulls your hair and makes you look him in the eye as he cums inside

> and when he does pull out, you can feel it dripping from you

> he looks at it and then up at you excitedly, and you know what he wants

> again

[ubeb0nes]

hiiii could you also do pitfighter reader with sevika next?? i loveee your writing!

HECK YEA, i was lowkey pulling for this one to win on the poll anyway (i'm definitely invested in bar owner!reader now that i've written for her, though!)

Silco goes through henchmen like water through a grater. And of course- like everything else- it falls on Sevika to keep his forces topped up.

She gets a lot of the dumb bruiser types from the Pit Ring. Easy to come by and even easier to hire once you wave just a little bit of money and status in their faces.

The higher in the rankings you are though, the less likely you are to take Silco's second's deals. Life as a Pit fighter is never easy, but the top percent definitely make more than they would as lackeys.

You were one such. Sevika had seen you a few times in the ring when she'd come down to pick up new blood.

You swung like somebody had taught you with intention. There was the charming roughness of Zaun ingrained in your style, but you had clear skill. Every time Sevika came back, your name was a little higher in the rankings.

She always got good seats due to her social standing. Close enough to see the look in your eyes. Controlled, if a bit empty.

You'd made eye contact with her once, right after toppling the second-ranked fighter. You'd given her a once-over that nearly offended her, like you wanted to get in the ring with her. Sevika scoffed at the very notion.

She couldn't lie though, even she felt the buzz of excitement permeating the crowd leading up to your face-off for the champion seat. This time, she was just here to watch.

It was the first time she'd seen you struggle. First time anyone had. She could tell from the moment you walked into the Pit, something was wrong.

The champion is killing you. Literally. It stirs something in Sevika as she watches him pin your head to the gritty ground with one hand, and beat on your skull with the other.

She jumps in before she even realizes what she's doing. What the hell was she doing?

The whole arena held its breath as someone who wasn't nameless, wasn't just some violent nobody presented themself.

Sevika knew what it looked like. She knew that word would get back to Silco and he'd ask her what the hell she was doing in the very center of a place like the Pit. But all she could do was spit on the ground, and square herself to the champion as if to say "Come try it with me, I dare you."

And he was about to, until he saw the whirring glow of her metal arm beneath her cape. The champ shrugged her off, taking his own leave while Sevika slung one of your arms over her shoulder.

It's not like he had anything to gain from fighting her. You were the only one he needed to beat.

"Why the hell did you do that?" You muttered out of a broken jaw.

"Yeah, it was no problem, don't mention it."

She starts to help you towards the locker room, until you tell her to take you to your apartment since it's only a little walk away.

It was definitely nicer than a lot of other units in Zaun. It looked untouched though, like you barely spent any time in there. She… lets you kinda crumple on the couch, before rummaging a bottle of alcohol from your pantry and removing a vial of Shimmer from her holster belt.

"Get that shit the fuck away from me."

"You done it in the past?"

"Hell no!"

"It's not gonna trap you after one dose. Trust me, you need it. You look like shit."

You give her some more shit, but eventually take the vial and the shot of vodka. Something about her is undeniably warm. Honest. You had no reason to give your trust out freely, but she seemed to have gained it without your knowing consent.

A part of your heart clung to it, the authenticity and honor she possessed that hadn't existed in so much as a whisper in the Pits.

Even as your entire nervous system seized the moment the Shimmer touched your throat, you were wholly conscious of her hand gripping the back of your neck with gentle, grounding firmness.

Her thumb subconsciously massaged into your trap muscle, and you heard her smoky voice urging you to "breathe, it'll be over soon". When had someone last touched you without the intention to hurt?

Still, after the Shimmer had passed through and you were feeling much better, you gave her a similar once-over to the one you once had before.

"Bet I could beat your ass."

"And I bet you'd die. Actually, this time." Yeah, that shut you up.

"So… what do I owe you for this?"

"Hm?"

"I still get a share even though I lost. C'mon, what percent's your cut?"

"I don't need your prize money. Or consolation, I guess."

"Rub it in, why don't you?"

She's ignoring you now though, electing to peruse the not so short row of books on your wall. "A well-read Pit fighter, huh? Well, you're number one in something in the Pits."

"Okay, what the hell do you want? Why'd you step in to help me?"

Her silence says she doesn't know, but you don't know that. You just think she's being an ass. Before you can tell her such though, she speaks up. "You know who I am, right?"

"Everybody in the Pit knows who you are. I saw the champ almost shit his pants."

"Then you know why I come to the Pits at all?"

"To play superhero, apparently."

"No. To recruit."

[misshuntereevee]

come right on me , i mean -- camaraderie! / part 2 - sylus .˳·˖✶𓆩𓆪✶˖·˳.༄

*** 18 + content!!!!! ***

contents: you sit on sylus' face, sylus like overstimulating you, reader has a kink for sylus' nose, p in v sex, no protect (wrap it up!) also: remember i'm not beta read... i also was very high when i wrote this.

part one , rafayel.

notes: all of the boys will get one with the same beginning prompt. these get longer than i intend every time so, i broke it up into parts or else it would never get released. according to the poll -- mr. guard dog caleb is next.

the prompt 𓂃🖊

“I want you to sit on my face.”

You nearly spit out your drink, but instead you manage to choke on it instead. You aren’t the smallest woman on the planet. Your thighs were also thick. Years of insecurity have you already shaking your head. “You’re kidding.”

His crimson eyes glint with mischief as he steps closer to you. His hand reaches out, his fingers tipping your chin up to meet his gaze. He backs you up against the kitchen counter, caging you in. It was just the two of you in the mansion on base.

“Dead serious, kitten.”

You make a bunch of words that sound like pure babbling as his hands moves to grip your hips, anchoring your hips to him. It's soothing to both of you, but it's evident in the way he lets out a contented sigh.

“But — my thighs —,” you start to argue, but the mention of your thighs only makes his grin expand. He looks like a wolf, ready to eat you up.

“Mhm, I love your thighs, kitten,” he says, leaning down to put his face in your neck, nuzzling into you. You're putty at this point. You've never been able to resist this giant man who is so worshipping of you.

"Mhm. So, you'll sit on my face then," he says.

You bite your lip thinking hard about it. As insecure as you are, there is one thing that's making you lust for it. One thing that's you're just so curious about the process --

His nose.

You hated how you were imagining how it would bump against your clit as he ate you out... you're nearly dripping at the thought of it. His hands have not stopped moving, even as you think -- which makes that process even harder. (You know he knows this.)

"Mhm, you thinking, kitten?"

"I am," You answer.

"Then it looks like I need to try harder," he all but purrs, and suddenly, he's lifting you by your ass -- and up onto the counter. You yelp with a little giggle. But like this, it's much easier for him to reach your lips -- and for you to throw your arms around his neck.

He presses into you as he kisses you. Sylus' kisses are not harsh. But they are strong and insistent. He's sure of himself and what he wants as he pillages your mouth, his tongue tasting every inch. His hands Your fingers find the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging with each wave of pleasure.

When he finally lets you up for air, he asks his question again. "You're avoiding the question," he chides, nipping at your neck as he begins to leave a trail of kisses. He sucks and nibbles on your skin, and you're melting into him and then it slips out:

"Okay, yeah, I'll do it."

It's a breathy moan, but it has Sylus picking you up with a growl, and marching over to the stairs. He ascends them easily -- just as if he was holding nothing at all. And for a second -- you don't feel bad about your weight. He carries with you absolute ease... and like you're the most fragile thing in the world.

When he reaches the bedroom, he falls backwards, making it so you straddle him by the time you both land. You giggle as his hand roam your back, pushing you further and further up.

And Sylus is met face to face with the culprit behind his intentions today. This skirt? It's absolutely sinful to him. Between your cute chubby thighs and the peak of underwear he got when you reached for something in the freezer earlier...

He had instantly stopped wanting real food -- no, he was a different kind of hungry. Sylus' mouth latches onto your thighs, nearly devouring them. You're groaning louder and louder, hands finding and tugging at his hair as he works a trial of hickeys up your thighs toward your center.

"Sy," you breathe out, "l-lower."

He has always adored when you're vocal. When you tell him what you want. He hums his approval before his tongue finds the thin band of pantie -- now drenched.

"Oh sweetie," he says from between your legs, and you feel your self clenching around nothing with the drawl of his words. "You're so wet for me. I can wait to taste you like this."

You start to move to lift you hips -- to take off the panties and skirt. But his hands are like vices, holding you down against him.

"No, no --" his hand comes up, a finger looping around the center, and pulling it to the side. "Leave them."

And then he's lifting you all at once and setting you back down over his face. You hesitate to sit down fully first, but again, he doesn't let you hesitate for long. His hands yank you fully down. He lets out a pleased sigh the second your pussy is on his mouth.

He starts slow, his tongue tracing your opening teasingly. The teasing nature of it has you clenching around nothing, and the way Sylus can feel it has him straining against his pants. If you could see, you'd see his pants are stained with pre-cum.

"Sy -- sy, more," you plead after a moment.

And the bastard chuckles. The vibration of it has you groaning -- and he takes advantage of that, plunging his tongue inside of you. He makes sure to nod his head slightly has he did --- knocking his nose against the hood of your clit.

"Oh my -- fuck," you gasped as he repeated the movement again and again. It's like he'd read your mind about his nose -- and that thought along make clench around his tongue.

You're dangerously close when his hand joins the mix -- it pinches and prods at your clit as he continues to fuck you with this tongue. Desperately wanting him deeper, you give an experimental thrust of your hips.

And it drives him absolutely crazy. You could have sworn he growled as you did it. And so -- you do it again and again. Grinding against his face.

"I'm -- Sylus -- I'm so close," you warn him, trying to pull off so you don't come all over his face. But he latches down again, and then with a chuckle, he slips a finger inside of you.

You absolutely lose it. You're drenching him underneath you, but he seems to be drinking it up, continuing to lap at you. You're over stimulated, but he locks his arms around your legs, keeping there as he continues to suck.

Four more times.

Sylus sucks until you come four more times against his mouth. At the end of your fourth one, he flips you both, and your propped up against the pillows. He leans over you, looking nearly crazed with want, his cock straining against his pants.

"Please, kitten, I need you," he rasps, his face covered with you. Your legs feel like gummy worms already -- but you want him, and you know that you do.

"Please, Sy. Wanna feel you..." you say.

And that's all it takes. He tosses his pants and boxers to the side. His thick and large cock is standing at attention, his tip red and leaking with pre-cum. He's always big, but straining like this... he looks even bigger.

"I don't know if I can be gentle, I -- I worked myself up too much," he admits. He's so pussy drunk right now - he has to feel you around his cock or he'll explode.

"I know the safeword," you remind him.

That's all it takes. He pulls your practically now ruined panties to the side and slides in. He doesn't take his time, he doesn't go slowly -- he slams right in to the hilt. Sylus groans as you stretch out around him.

And that's when he starts biting. His teeth find your neck, starting to leave a trail of kisses. --- Then he starts fucking you like he the world is going to end. You're nearly mewling underneath him, so sensitive from your previous orgasm. You push at his chest as it feels too overwhelming -- like the orgasm is coming on too fast.

"That's not a safeword," he reminds you.

"I wasn't saying anything! ---," you're cut off by the orgasm overtaking you, and everyone on base hears it, even if you're alone in the mansion. He bullies you through three more this way (his stamina was out of this world -- literally) before he's burying himself to the hilt. He's addicted just to the feeling of you coming around him.

"I'm coming---" is all he says before you feel him twitching inside of you. He rolls off to the side of you, pulling him along with you in the aftermath. "You're perfect, kitten."

You smile at him before: "...So how many bite marks am I covering this time?"

[gghostwriter]

Still Alive for My Lover

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: The four times Spencer brushes with death and the fifth time he's reborn to find his way back to you

Warning: angst with happy ending || [Part 2A of Death of a Love Affair; Part 2B is the sad ending]

A/n: I did a poll the other day on if I should post both different part 2s for Death of a Love Affair and posting both won so here is one of the endings--the happy one! I actually scrapped my first happy ending idea for this (I dreamt about this plot just the other night) so like a maniac, I wrote and edited it in one sitting. Also he has been through a lot so I had to choose scenes that I think would affect his psyche. Hope you enjoy!

Part one || Main masterlist || Part 2B

The first time Death came close was during an Anthrax attack

In Spencer’s quest in solving the time sensitive and nation threatening case, he made a series of misjudgments that had led him to being exposed to the chemically engineered Anthrax.

During his months of adjusting back into being single and alone, he poured all that he could to his job. No longer were the cases viewed with a clear objective mind, they all became personal. Case distance from Virginia, where you were, meant nothing. He viewed each killer a threat to your existence. In the most convoluted way, this was him protecting and keeping you safe when he no longer could beside you. 

“Hey, Reid.” Garcia softly said.

“Reid, wow, no, uh—no witty Garcia greeting for me?” Spencer joked to try and lighten the mood.

She shakily exhaled her breath. “I can’t be my sparkly self when you are where you are.” 

“Garcia, do you think you can do something for me?” His voice trailing off at the end.

“Anything.”

“I, uh-I know I can’t call my mom without uh—“ he cleared his throat. “Without alerting everyone at her hospital and I can’t call Y/N since—since it’s protocol and we broke up.”

She paused, nodding her head. “What do you need?”

“I-I need you to record messages for them, in case anything happens to me.”

“Oh, nothing’s going to happen to you,” she tried to be optimistic. “You’re gonna—brilliantly find out who did this and we’re gonna treat this strain.”

He sighed with a slight smile on his face. “I hope you’re right, but if you’re not, I just—I really want to make sure that they hear my voice.” 

“Ok, just give me a second.” The taps from her keyboard echoing in the background.

“Are you ready?” Spencer asked.

“Ready.”

“Hi, Mom. This is Spence. I just, um-I just really want you to know that I love you and—i need you to know that I spend every day of my life proud to be your son.” His tone fluctuating from holding back tears. “Y/N, I know we broke up months ago but—I need you to know that I love you and that I’m sorry—” A shiver passed through his body, a sign of his fever escalating. “Sorry for pushing you down in my list of priorities—should have done better. I don’t resent you for leaving me and if—if this is my last message, I want you to know you’re one of the last things on my mind, Angel.” 

The thought of you finding out through the news that an FBI agent had died or worse, not finding out at all, sent him into a tailspin. You were a worrier and Spencer didn’t want you to question your judgement of breaking it off with him and drown in the not knowing, what ifs of it all. He wondered where you were at that very moment as he crept closer and closer to Death’s door. Were you wallowing still? Maybe out for brunch with your friends or a date—his breathing stuttered at the thought. He tried and failed to imagine you smiling at a faceless man in front of you, preening under your attention. Who wouldn’t? He shook his head as an effect to bring him back to the present.

The pause made Garcia panic. “Reid?”

“I-I gotta go.” 

Click.

***

The second time was when Maeve died

Spencer thought he was finally going to get it right with Maeve but it was false hope, his speculation far from the truth because Maeve—his second chance in love was dead, killed right before his very eyes. He loved her, truly did even without knowing what she looked like—not in the encompassing way he loved you, no, but Maeve still carved a space in his heart that was one filled by you. She was comfort and a healing balm for the pain of losing you.

He associated navigating life with you as something like entering a luscious forest. With you leading the way though the beautiful greenery and kind animals—a fairytale kind of love. But when you let go of his hand, the forest turned dark and the animals turned into monsters that haunt his every move. Maeve was a cabin in those woods, lighted and warm with a fireplace—a respite for his lost and terrified being. He knew what was out there but housed in her presence, he felt safe and believed himself ready to defend his newfound solace. He was wrong, the security was temporary. His shelter torn down and taken away, leaving him back out in the woods with no light or guiding star to see him through. 

Curling into himself on the floor beside his bed with ‘The Narrative of John Smith’, the copy that Maeve gifted, tucked to his chest, uncaring of the the pathogens that it can carry, a folded piece of paper under the dresser caught his eye. He stretched his hand, feeling the settled dust on its surface scatter, and pulled it into the light. Gingerly, he opened the yellowing sheet and found himself staring at your handwriting—a note that he had never seen before.

He once asked about your penchant for leaving hand written notes for him to find. You shrugged then and nonchalantly called it a treasure hunt for him to partake in. During the times passed, he’d encounter lingering, forgotten notes from you all over his apartment. In his cupboard, pushed in the dark recesses, in his rarely worn patterned coat, and slotted in between the books on his bookshelf. He thought he had found them all but here was one left unread as if it knew when to make its presence known. As if it knew that he needed a sliver of light to guide him home.

Spence,

I’m not sure if we met at the right time, but because we’re both here, let’s do our best and if there does come a time were we must part, know that I love you. I’ll love you enough until we meet again. 

His tears broke free from his battered walls and streamed down his face. He loved Maeve. He was thankful for the peace each phone call had given him and although his memory of each talk may fade into the back of his mind, the relief and emotion she had given him will linger in his chest. He slowly got up from his position and approached his beloved shelf. With one last look at his book, he slotted it within the nook and walked away.

His love for Maeve will always be there but he loved you too and he thinks he always will. And when sadness and grief comes to pull him back under in moments of weakness, he unfolds his talisman—the note—kept near his heart as a reminder. A reminder that he has loved, was loved, and is still loved. 

***

The third time was when he was shot in the neck

Fading in and out. 

In—liquid seeping into his shirt and tie.

You were the only thing he could think of. Not the case, not the team, only you.

Out—sirens blaring in a distant background.

In—Morgan’s voice calling his name.

For the first time in a long time, Spencer was terrified. He was so terrified that death had come to collect his borrowed life without having a chance to right his wrongs. Without any contact and without any way to say how much he has loved you still after all these years and months. He could probably recite how long it had been, if only he wasn’t loopy from the pain. 

Out—muffled voices all around him. 

In—a gentle sway in the ambulance as it rushed to the hospital.

He wanted to tell you how much he’d learned from recalling all his memories with you. How much you had taught him about love—a teaching he could never find in books. How love was selfless and tenacious—just like when you didn’t give up on him early on—when it needed to be. How love is fueled with respect—like how you respected his choices and demands of his career, and how love—true love, knew when it’s time to go. 

Out—streak of bright lights passing him by. 

In—professionals dressed in scrubs and white coats touching him. 

Your face was the only image settling behind his closed eyelids. He tried to remember the crinkle around your eyes when you smile, the scrunch of your nose when you laugh, or the he arch of your brows when you teased him but all were hazy, as if he was staring into a deep depth of water that rippled nonstop. All he could conjure up was your face with tears sliding down to your chin from the hurt he caused. He was deathly afraid that his last memory of you were in pain. 

Out—laying cold on the operating table.

All he could muster to repeat to himself as he faded under local anesthesia was your name. Like it was a mantra, a prayer, and his own personal saving grace. 

In—surrounded by beeping noises and fluffed pillows.

Mind still hazy when he came to, he sent a thank you to the stars. Grateful that Death was unsuccessful and to have been given an opportunity to correct his mistakes. Wishing that somehow, somewhere your paths and his would cross again and he could tell the story of all his adventures and yours, and how he has changed, hoping once again to be worthy of you.

***

The final time was during his stint in prison

He’s changed. In the dark forest you’ve left him behind, the once scared and hunted by monsters had become the hunter. The anger and agitation that simmered near the surface of his every waking moment was something he did not know how to accept. He was worried about the new him and how you’d perceive it. There were no signs of who he was before and during you. If he’d cross paths with you on the street, would you recognize him? He hoped so. Would you still accept him? He needed you to.

Along his long route back to you, he grew thorns and horns. He became decorated with wounds and scars. His talisman—your note—had aged, just like him, and had ripped along the folds. His once brilliant mind—now in a haze from trauma, memorized the words. It was your writing that grounded him while he was stuck in the cell of a mad woman’s making. The slants and loops studied and the grooves and indentations caressed with his calloused, bloody hands. 

He loved you still, very much so, but with his change, it had also mutated. What once was compared to a fairytale kind of love had now been smudged with darkness and desperation.

He felt lethal in his journey back to your embrace. Gone was the boy who felt remorse in shooting an unsub between the brows and replaced with the man who felt no qualms in killing should safety be threatened. He knew he had to talk to someone about the path his thinking had taken but instead, he entered his home with a single-minded purpose, walking straight to your side of the drawer and clutched another memento that will buoy him through the ravaging waters of emotion—your engagement ring. Looping it through a chain that he now wears on his neck and near his heart, a symbolism of his will to see things through, come hell or high water, he’ll crawl home to you.

***

And his second life started when he left the BAU

Spencer wanted to see you. Once inside the building elevator going down, he fought the urge to dial your number—regardless if it was still even yours. He needed to know. To know if you’ve moved on after all those many years apart or lived just like he did—tried but unsuccessful, always comparing and always coming up short. The eyes not as kind as yours, the smile not as radiant, and the heart not as beautiful. Was it awful of him to wish for the former? Yes, yes it was. He knew you deserved happiness and support after all the times he had let you down, knew you deserved a life after him, knew you deserved a happy ending but here he was, hopelessly wishing that your happy ending was still with him. 

He didn’t keep up with your life as much as he wanted to. The wounds of his failure and the battle scars he received along the way were still fresh. He didn’t have the right to know—a self imposed punishment. Although Garcia offered to look into you whenever he would reach rock bottom, and he’s been there a lot, he refused. By returning your ring, the engagement ring hidden underneath his shirt, you’ve taken back his privilege and he respected your decision.

You deserve better than to have him contact you without his life in order. If you’d still have him, you’d get the best of him. And so for the past six months, he focused on himself. He gained his footing in teaching young agents, he worked on his anger and made progress with his therapist, and he got to know who he was again beyond being an FBI agent. And it was as if the stars took notice of the changes and decided to reward him.

It was late into the night when he decided to make a quick grocery trip for some perishables missing in his pantry. This was out of his normal routine and he was forever grateful to the impulsiveness that took over him that night ever since. It was what led him to cross paths with the only person he had once considered home—you.

As he was entering the store, you had come out in all your beauty, struggling with one bag in each hand. Whenever he would recall this story, you’d scoff and tell him that you didn’t feel beautiful then—hair in a sloppy bun, t-shirt all crumpled, and face bare from any makeup. He’d object as no matter what the circumstance, you were always the most beautiful to him. 

He cleared his throat then. “Y/N.”

“Spencer,” you breathed out, surprise painting across your face.

“Do you need help with that?” He asked, voice cracking at the end. He thought he outgrew his shyness, time in prison does that for a person, but here you were reverting him back to how he felt when he first met you. “I’d like to walk you back to your car, if that’s alright,” he added on as he was afraid of your refusal. The parking lot was dimly lit and almost deserted. Years of solving cases has made him hyper vigilante and even if he was technically no longer a fed, his experience stayed the same. He still wanted to make sure you were safe, after all the time away.

You hesitated before nodding once in agreement. 

He smiled, letting go of his breath he didn’t know he was holding, and reached out to take your grocery purchases. “Let me get these for you, lead the way.”

The silence was uncomfortable. Years of being away from each other has made him a stranger to you and you to him.

You crossed yours arms, a sign of defense, before clearing your throat. “How’s the team?”

He pressed his lips into a straight line, not wanting to spill every little change that has happened while you were gone. “Good, good.”

Silence.

“No case tonight?”

“Uh—I only consult now,” he explained. “I went into teaching.”

Your arms dropped, a sign of openness, and you peered at him. “That’s—different. I mean, are you happy about that?”

He laughed and almost felt like preening at the care that you still had for him. “Yeah, it’s nice to have a normal schedule for once.”

“Somehow normal and you being mixed together doesn’t compute in my head,” you teased, swinging your hands in a clear sign of nervousness. He felt good—glad that he still could read your tics. How the slight downturn of your eyebrow meant you’d table the information to ruminate on it later. How the little bounce on your walk, that wasn’t there earlier, meant you were accepting of this situation. And how you slightly shifted closer to him meant you find his presence a protector. 

As he was documenting each non-verbal cues into his memory, the back of your hand brushed with his, sending a jolt of electric charge. It was as if both your bodies needed a physical reminder that the other half is back and nearby. It was as if a defibrillator had charged his black and blue heart to life once again. 

You giggled. “Sorry about that.”

It was a cold night but each laughter wrapped around him like a comforting blanket, warming his weary bones that had been lost in the dark cold woods for so long. “It’s alright,” he stated as he watched you unlock the trunk of your car. 

Loading in your grocery in silence, he shuffled ever so slightly out of the way as you closed the trunk and rocked on your heels.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was the only way he could prevent his hands from reaching out and caressing your pink cheeks. He didn’t have the permission to touch you yet—not matter how much he wanted to. So wanted to.

“You look—you look great, by the way,” you stammered out.

“Thanks, you too—look great, I mean,” he stated. He wanted to sing out more praises on how you’d gotten more beautiful, more radiant, and more lovely but he settled on something simple lest he scares you away with the intensity of his feelings. “Do you think could have your number? You know, just in case you’d need help with groceries again.” A feeble excuse.

You smiled. The type of smile that was once reserved for him and he wished for it to still be his. Please don’t say no, please, he realized that if you do, that will be it. That there will no longer be any saving the tragedy between him and you.

As he was starting to slide down the familiar slope of sadness, you nodded. “I never changed it.” You unlocked the driver seat before facing him once again. “Spence—”

He basked in hearing you say his name.

“—I’m different now. So you’ll have to get to know me again.”

“I’m different now, too,” and while you uttered yours as if it was an apology or a forewarning, he uttered his as a promise. A veiled promise that he was now the man that you wanted him to be after all those years.

He reached his hand out. “Hi, I’m Spencer Reid,” he hoped you’d play along.

You laughed, clearly intrigued at changes that had happened to him. Here he was, a germaphobe, reaching for a handshake to a stranger regardless of pathogens. You weren’t really a stranger, not really, but he wanted to write a new beginning. The last time was too tragic and ended with goodbyes. This time, this time, it’ll be perfect, he vowed to himself. A perfect fairytale with a happy ending that he could share with his kids with you one day. 

“Hi, Spencer,” you reached out your hand into his, engulfing yours in his tight grip. “I’m Y/N.”

He watched as you got into the car, fastening your seatbelt and roll down the window. “I’ll call you.”

“Please do, I’ll be waiting,” you whispered out before backing away from the parking lot.

And he did.

And after a few dates, he slid back the ring that once hung around his neck, sitting near his heart, back to where it belonged—back to your fourth finger where the Romans once believed a vein ran directly to the heart. Vena Amoris, the vein of love. Where it will stay forevermore, never allowing time and the outside to separate what once was meant to be. Never allowing ‘him and you’ as separate, there was just ‘them’.

[fernsnailz]

it's time... for the TEAM DARK FEST! 💥💥💥💥

me and @serpentineshine are hosting a little tournament to finally determine who the best Team Dark member is! this week there's gonna be goofs, bits, and even a special prize for the winner 👀

however, the most important prize of all is what awaits at the end of the festival! ...but that's a secret right now.

💥 cast your vote below! 💥

(oh also if anyone makes any propaganda for their fav character. tag me i wanna see)

video transcript below the cut! ⬇️

A blue announcement screen with scrolling text reads “SPECIAL FENSNAILZ ANNOUNCEMENT.” There’s a looping animation of Squeak the cat in the middle. It disappears, cutting to a shot of a studio space.

In the studio, SNAIL, SHINE, SQUEAK, and a VASH PLUSH all sit at a desk with a large CRT TV on it. Squeak and Vash are on top of the TV, and shelves with various items line the walls. Everyone seems to be unaware that the camera is rolling - Snail is reading the script, Shine is drinking from a mug, and Squeak is licking her butthole. Vash remains motionless.

Snail notices the camera zooming in, and throws away the script in a moment of panic. Shine and Squeak sit up to face the camera as well.

SNAIL: Coming at you pre-recorded, it’s Snail, Shine, and The Beasts!

SHINE: We’re here today to announce a special tournament we’re hosting: the TEAM DARK FEST!

SQUEAK: Eep!

VASH: weemp womp :]

SNAIL: You know ‘em, you love ‘em-

SHINE: Or hate them.

SNAIL: It’s all about TEAM DARK this week! Fellas, turn on that TV!

The camera cuts to a close-up of the TV as the screen flips on. Three shitty photos of each Team Dark member appear on the TV under the question “Who is the best member of Team Dark?” Every Team Dark member’s name is misspelled underneath the photos.

SHINE: Time for the ULTIMATE question: Who is the best Team Dark member?

SNAIL: Oof. We’re turning them against each other, huh? That’s dramatic.

SQUEAK: Meep! (HOLY SHIT)

The camera zooms out to a wide view of the studio, but zooms out much further than needed for a split second. For some reason, this is all being filmed on a green screen set, and the shelves behind the cast seem to be edited in. Not only that, but this studio is either widely over-staffed or widely under-staffed, because the boom mic is held by seven Chao stacked on top of each other. The camera zooms into a closeup of Snail before much of this information can be processed.

SNAIL: Well, it’s obviously Shadow. I told him if he won, I would get him ice cream after soccer practice!

The camera pans over to Shine.

SHINE: No way, vote for Rouge! She can carry like. Nineteen mountain lions. Give or take

The camera pans over to Squeak and Vash. Squeak points at a crude drawing of Omega that seems to say “VOTE OMEGA.” It is upside down. Vash holds a cute little sign that says “I <3 OMEGA” that he likely made himself.

SQUEAK + VASH: ?????????????? (we didn’t hire anyone to translate this part.)

Back in a wide shot, Snail and Shine stare blankly at Squeak and Vash. Squeak licks her butthole again. Vash is now Real. Someone off-screen sneezes very convincingly.

SHINE: This poll will run for ONE WEEK before we announce the winner! So little time…

SNAIL: Everyone make your vote count! The winner of this festival will have a special page in my… 

An image of a porcelain snail appears over a white background as an echo-y human voice says “SECRET UPCOMING PROJECT.”

VASH: bweep bwaa :] (Yay! Prizes!)

SHINE: The final verdict will be decided by Twitter AND Tumblr, so commit as much voter fraud as you please!

Squeak bites Vash and he screams. They both fall off the TV and make a surprising amount of noise. Snail and Shine stare in shock.

SNAIL: See you in seven days! And hey, if you want to participate… tag me in any propaganda you make to fight for your favorite Team Dark member!

Squeak and Vash explode.

[couldtheybekira]

Catching Kira is overrated. Let's talk about not getting caught as Kira.

This is the reverse of @couldtheycatchkira where I give you a character and you determine if they could survive as Kira.

Important note: Assume the character is completely willing to be Kira. @wouldtheybecomekira already exists.

Second important note: "Being Kira" just means continuous use of the Death Note to kill. They don't have to get into the whole "God of a New World" thing if they don't want to.

There are six categories:

Never caught or suspected: Not only does this character live to actually create their new world, but nobody ever suspects it was actually them! I better not see you vote people into this category just because you like them or it'd be funny. Actually it being funny is valid

Suspected but never caught: It's about a five percent chance. They live to make their new world, and while people have certainly suggested it being them, and some believe it, there's just not enough evidence to convict them

Suspected only by whoever caught them: The general public was fooled, but someone, likely an enemy of that character in their canon, caught on to them and brought them to justice.

Suspected and eventually caught: Look, not even Actual Kira was perfect. They slip up little by little, and they get caught.

Caught almost instantly: Oh, all of that character's worst enemies die day one? Yeah, if they don't stop to think, it's pretty easy to lead investigators straight to them before Ryuk has the chance to not tell them some critical information.

Known, but can't be caught: In other words: "I'm Kira, whatcha gonna do about it?" For characters whose abilities outside of the Death Note mean that facing the law is barely even a possibility for them. (This one is a late addition, so early polls won't have it.)

(Results/Unqualified To Say): If you don't know, don't answer. I do try to include supplementary information when I know the character, and get it out of the submitter when I don't, though.

When you submit a character, please include their source media, and if you can, an image of them from their source media.

Additionally, ever so often we'll run polls about the Shinigami Eyes Deal and Relinquishing the Death Note and your memory of it.

For the Shinigami Eyes Deal:

Takes the Eye Deal instantly: As soon as it's on the table they accept. Yes, they did hear the part about losing half their remaining life span. They said they accept.

Takes the Eye Deal eventually: They'll come around to it, or if they think they don't have that long a natural lifespan left anyway.

Takes the Eye Deal due to desperate circumstances: They're forced into a bad spot and just need to get someone off them right now, or their life is gonna shortened by a lot more than half.

Uses someone else who took the Eye Deal: You can choose who, and what circumstances allow this to even be possible.

Never takes the Eye Deal: They just don't. Ever. It's either not worth it, it's too easy, whatever.

For Relinquishing the Death Note

Relinquishes Death Note permanently; no longer needs it: They've done what they needed with the notebook. I know I said we're assuming they're completely willing to become Kira, but we never said anything about staying Kira.

Relinquishes Death Note permanently; only way to survive: Investigators are getting too close to their trail and if they're interrogated they'll definitely crack. It's possible they also make someone else become Kira, but this is a one-way street. They do not remember this, ever.

Relinquishes Death Note temporarily; never regains it: It's very hard to stick to a plan you don't remember making. They relinquish the notebook with the intent of getting it back, and simply never do. Either to a change of heart, circumstances not allowing it, or what have you.

Relinquishes Death Note temporarily; regains it: The perfect alibi, perfectly executed. You can fill in the blanks for what their plan was and how it works, they're Kira, they'll do it.

Never relinquishes Death Note: Again, they just don't.

And also also, you can submit strategies for what you would do if you're Kira! These can be found under the tag "Kira's strategies," and are polled with the following options:

Flawless Strategy; Why didn't Light use this, is he stupid?

Great Strategy; On par with Light

Okay Strategy; Anyone could think of that

Poor Strategy; You've made some critical oversights

Terrible Strategy; This would get you caught faster

[snoopyhughes]

to be loved is to be known: paige bueckers

hello and welcome to the second installment of my series, to be loved is to be known! Paige also screams acts of service to me, and she won the poll so this one will be with Paigey. if you have any requests for this series, feel free to send them in.

1.3k words, there is mentions of both feminine and androgynous energy from reader but THIS IS A WLW FIC!

to be loved is to be known...

Let's start here: Paige is your BIGGEST fan. Just as the gif shows, Paige loves so hard and so deeply. Paige cares infinitely more about her loved ones than she does herself (which is something you're working on with her), but it shows in the way she loves you. She praises your smallest of actions. But it isn't trivial. Paige is truly proud of everything you do and all that you are.

Did something after procrastinating? She's showering you with kisses for a job well done. Got a half decent grade on an assignment or test? She's taking you out to dinner to celebrate. And with the big wins, she will blow you out of the water with the things she does for you to celebrate.

A promotion at work calls for a beautiful new necklace, a #5 proudly across your neck, spelled out in diamonds. College graduation calls for a new car, because every time you turn your old car on, Paige holds on for dear life, scoffing about how her next brand deal would go towards buying you your dream car. Living with Paige is a dream (which I'll get into later), but one thing Paige would do when it's time for the two of you to move on from your quaint yet lovely Storrs apartment is insist the two of you build a house together, from the ground up.

Paige would want the house to be perfectly your own. If you worked out, a full gym would be there for you. Paige would insist that you needed a library for your books, a get ready with me room, an office for you, the bathroom of your dreams, staged exactly how you have always dreamed of. You definitely have to talk her off the ledge for some of the things she insists you need, but your heart swells at her dedication of wanting to create a place that's perfect for the two of you to love and live in for as long as this part of her journey lasts.

to be loved is to be known...

Going back to living with Paige, it wouldn't just be the physical structure of your home that Paige would put her heart into. Paige would be the absolute best partner to live with, no matter where you lived.

She would do whatever she could to make your life easier at home. Paige would insist on having a towel/blanket warmer in the house so she could meet you after your shower with a warm towel, or wait for you to come home from a tough presentation with a warm blanket, mugs of steaming hot cocoa ready and your favorite movie queued up on the TV.

Paige loves leaving notes all around your space. On the bedside table next to your side of the bed, on the mirror in the bathroom, outside the fridge. Little things such as "I love you" or "you're beautiful," but also small reminders as she knows sometimes you can get forgetful. "Don't forget to fill your water" or "your computer is plugged in by the couch," small things you might gloss over, but things she knows will make your life infinitely easier.

Paige also loves meeting you at home with your favorite meal from take out. She doesn't strike me as much of a cook, but I know she would love to pick up your favorite burger, pasta dish, pizza, Asian food, whatever made you happy. She had a sixth sense for knowing when you'd be tired and wouldn't want to cook, or really just when you were craving a comforting bite of your favorite restaurant's meal.

to be loved is to be known...

I feel like clothes is one of Paige's favorite parts of your relationship. I know that sounds strange, but there is nothing Paige loves more than seeing you wrapped up in her "Buckets" sweatshirt, her classic plaid pajama pants tied around your waist, lounging on the couch waiting for her to come lay with you. She melts to see you in her clothes every time.

If you had more of a feminine style, Paige would love the way your styles complement each other and balance out. She would live for matching basics, initial necklaces that never leave anyone questioning who either of you belong to, matching rings she got you for your first anniversary, matching color schemes, any way that you could show your love for each other and your commitment to each other through fashion, which Paige truly loves. Even if your styles are complete opposites, Paige will still find a way to connect the two of you together, making you look like a perfect pair.

If you had more of a masculine, street style, a style more similar to Paige, she would live for matching sneakers, matching sweat suits, matching hair styles (if possible), anything she can do to show that the two of you are connected. She would love stealing your sweatshirts, because it isn't a one way street. Paige would never be spotted in a hockey sweatshirt if it weren't for you.

Paige would love to buy things that she sees that she thinks you would look good in. This is really tough for her because she can find a way to connect basically anything to you. "It would bring out your eyes," "it would look so beautiful for our date tomorrow," "I caught you looking at it on tiktok," literally anything. You would definitely have to set boundaries with Paige about gift giving, especially with clothes, because you would need two wardrobes with the amount of clothes, shoes, and accessories Paige would want to buy you.

to be loved is to be known...

Don't get me wrong, Paige can definitely be the life of the party. But I feel that mostly, Paige would want to do what you would want to do. If you were in the mood to go out on the town, Paige would be the DD, fixing your hair and helping you into the apartment at night when you had too much, her eyes full of love, feeling so grateful that she gets to be the one to take care of you.

After a win, Paige can go either way. Sometimes she loves to go out, and other times she wants to "go home to her sweetheart," her exact words. Her teammates love to roast her for that, but she could not care any less.

She loves going out with you after wins, where people are congratulating her on the win but all she cares about is the beautiful girl on her arm, looking at her like she put the stars in the sky. No matter what Paige was wearing on her lips, it was always all over your cheeks and neck by the end of the night. She can't keep her hands, and definitely can't keep her lips off of you on a night out. It isn't even inherently sexual, she just loves you so much and wants to show you how much she loves you. Show you that she would give up everything the basketball life has to offer if you asked her. She loves you truly that much.

Don't think Paige doesn't love a night in after a game though. "Going home to her sweetheart" means stopping at the drive thru on the way home from the game, her hand never leaving your thigh, reaching over to kiss your cheek while stopped at a red light.

And when you get home, Paige loves nothing more than to change into matching pjs (she is a sucker for these), fill up your water bottles, do. your skincare routine together (which really means you doing your routing on Paige), and climbing into bed together. Sometimes you turn on a light show to watch that you've both seen countless times, or a familiar comfort movie. It doesn't matter though, because the two of you are always more wrapped up in each other, small kisses, soft "I love you's" just a true, loving environment which makes you both go to sleep feeling like your heart grew three sizes.

[lelengerine]

pairing. jisung x reader

synopsis. your boyfriend knows just the right way to sober you up after a party (it may or may not involve chicken nuggets)

genre. pure fluff, honestly just a random thought i had, mentions of food and alcoholic drinks, implied that reader is shorter than ji but is gn! lmk if anything is missing :D

wc. 0.6k words

notes. i read a twt au before making this and i live for cutesy bf ji >< he is everything to me ;0; anw this is the ji fic that was also mentioned as part of that one poll :> likes and feedback are highly appreciated!

m.list

you were just about to leave a party with jisung gently leading you out the door, worry evident in his features as he glances over his shoulder every other second to make sure you weren’t stumbling over your steps after drinking more than you should’ve tonight.

“ji? leaving? why?” you let out a soft whine despite following in his footsteps, wrapping your arm around his in search of warmth against the cold breeze that hit you after a single step outside. the chill made you shiver, but his presence was enough to keep you from feeling too uncomfortable. you leaned into him a little more, appreciating the way he instinctively adjusted to keep you steady.

he shakes his head at your antics, finding your drunken state to be somewhat endearing. after all, you weren’t one to get this drunk often. “pretty, we need to get you sobered up.”

“no wanna!” you huff, clinging onto to him more but it was only a feeble attempt to stop him in his tracks.

“we can get you those chicken nuggets you like from the diner nearby.” jisung proposes, watching how your eyes sparkle at the mention of food with a lopsided smile on his lips.

“nuggies? okay!” you flash him a wide grin, going on your tippy toes to press a big kiss on his cheek—leaving him flustered as he tries to cover the lower half of his face with his free hand.

“h-hey, wait up!” jisung can’t help the soft laugh that escapes him as you tug him along, the cold night air forgotten in your newfound excitement—noting the way your grip on his arm tightens as become the new leader, even though you’re not entirely sure where you’re going.

“slow down, baby.” he chuckles, his tone gentle as he matches your pace, keeping you close. “the diner’s not going anywhere.”

“but what if it does?” you counter with a faint gasp, words still slightly slurred as you turn to him with wide eyes, as if the thought of losing out on chicken nuggets was the most tragic thing that could happen tonight.

jisung scrunches his nose, finding your concern both ridiculous and adorable. “i promise it won’t, but i will if you don’t stop running off like that.”

you pout but eventually relent, slowing your pace until you’re walking side by side again. you rest your head on the side of his arm, eyes fluttering shut as you let him guide you the rest of the way. the warmth from his arm, the steady rhythm of his steps, and the promise of food are enough to keep you grounded.

the diner’s neon sign soon flickers in the distance, and jisung feels you perk up beside him, your energy renewed at the sight. “see? told you it wouldn’t run away,” he teases, nudging you lightly.

you respond with a playful swat to his arm, but the dazed smile on your face is unmistakable. “you’re so smart, ji.”

“i know, i know.” he replies with a light snicker, holding the door open for you as you both step into the cozy warmth of the diner. the familiar scent of fried food and instant coffee envelops you, and you couldn’t help but let out a contented sigh.

as you slide into an empty booth, jisung takes the seat across from you, watching with a fond smile as you eagerly scan the menu even though he already knows what you’re going to order. you glance up at him, your expression softening as the earlier haze of alcohol starts to wear off.

“thanks for taking care of me,” you mumble, a little embarrassed now that the night’s excitement was starting to fade.

jisung reaches across the table, his hand finding yours in a comforting squeeze. “always, baby. now, let’s get you those nuggets before you fall asleep on me.”

[vettelsdarling]

𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐞

Lissie note… Here’s the second winner of the poll. I stupidly duplicated him💀 but just tallied those numbers together. Also yes, I’m trying out new layouts rn so please lmk if this looks great or not<3

Summary: A photographer from the heart of NYC has been in a low-key relationship with Lando Norris for a while now…

————

Things to note:

Reader is a menace tbh

Lando and reader are separated by 2 yrs

Reader is a known photographer (just not famous yk)

————

Pairing: Lando Norris x Photographer!Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Playlist recommendations: 𝐋𝐍𝟒, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟💗

Taglist: @drugged-kitkat, @ophcelia, @darleneslane, @allwaysalleyway, @littlesatanicassholebitch

Twitter

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend and 253 others

yourusername What a great day to change my pfp on my Twitter😮‍💨

View all comments

yourbestfriend Isn’t that the camera I got you last Christmas?

yourusername Merry Christmas ig

yourbestfriend The enthusiasm🥰

yourusername WOW!?!???!!!! IT REALLY IS THE CAMERA YOU GAVE ME LAST YEAR AHHH I STILL HAVE IT CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourbestfriend Nah now it doesn’t feel genuine😒

Liked by yourusername

landonorris

Liked by maxverstappen1 and 847,733 others

Tagged: yourusername, mclaren

landonorris What’s up 2023?🧡

View all comments

user1 The photos are better this year wtf😮‍💨

user2 He looks amazing regardless

user3 YESSS IT’S BACKKK LET’S GOO🧡🧡🧡

yourusername Ty for the tag, great working w/ you

Liked by landonorris

user4 Ty for blessing Lando’s face

user5 She’s a magician with a camera😩

user6 Danny isn’t racing this yr right?😞

user7 Yeah he isn’t😭😭😭

user8 Ugh MCLAREN WHYYY

user9 I’m manifesting🫡

user10 Actually so delulu I made a mood board consisting ONLY of Lando😃

user11 At least you’re self aware💀

Twitter

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris and 373 others

Tagged: landonorris, mclaren

yourusername Tbh I feel kinda bad for knowing next to NOTHING abt f1 but I’ll just do my job and whatever to pay rent in New York🤡 Last resort is the pole (not position😞)

View all comments

yourbestfriend 💀

yourusername Are you implying I wouldn’t be a great pole dancer?🤨

yourbestfriend Honestly? Yeah🥰

yourusername Bitch.

landonorris I didn’t even realize you’d take this many pics

yourusername Welcome to your new life (I sound and look like a fucking stalker rn wtaf)

yourfriend WTF YOU NEVER SAID YOU PHOTOGRAPHED LANDO NORRIS????

yourusername Surprise!!😻

landonorris

Liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,194,290 others

Tagged: yourusername

landonorris Checking out the credentials🤨

View all comments

yourusername At least I’m better than you🥰

landonorris You make a fair point… it’s your job😒

user1 Bffr rn😭

user2 Wdym? it’s his designated photographer. I think she’s a part of the team cause McLaren hired her

user1 Wait really?

user2 …yeah💀

user3 The way I love this new photographer😩

user4 Yeah she’s good. She’s well known in the photography world as one of the best in nyc

user3 Wtf that’s such an honor

user5 IS THAT HER??? 10 bucks they’re dating but not telling us

user6 Nah that’s too quick💀 They JUST hired her like this year.

user7 I’m excited for her shots in Miami

user8 I’ve seen some of her stuff at her gallery. Some of it sells for more than a month’s salary

user9 Her instagram is private😔💔

user10 It’s always been😭😭😭

f1gossip

5,367 likes

f1gossip New beau, Lando?👀

View all comments

user1 HUH WHAT😃

user2 They are just friends they are just friends they are just friends

user3 stfu what is this😭

user4 That looks a lot like yourusername

user5 💀

yourusername

Liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend and 271 others

yourusername Luckily this account is private💪 Hope they don’t find my very not private Twitter💀

View all comments

yourbestfriend Good luck😭

yourusername ty, I will not need it😩

landonorris what is this Twitter you speak of🤨🤨🤨

yourusername Nothing👽

f1gossip

2,378 likes

f1gossip Looks like Lando’s girl has Twitter👀

View all comments

user1 Wtaf I love her

user2 Ever wondered she might not want it leaked💀

yourusername Oh… wow…😐

user3 OFMHSK IT’S YOU

yourusername In all my glory😮‍💨🔥

user4 I love how she’s literally just like everyone else and not some snob😭

lando.jpg

Liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, infour and 927,382 others

Tagged: yourusername

landonorris Who would’ve thought it was possible to post your own paparazzi photos?!

View all comments

yourusername Holy shit, this is revolutionary🤯

Liked by landonorris

yourusername Why don’t the media just hire me to take better pics of us🤡🤡

landonorris Ikr

user1 Nah I’m loving this

user2 They are really handing the media’s ass on a silver plate💀💀💀

user3 This is pure gold😭

user4 I thought Kika and Pierre were my fav but Lando and her just raised the bar

user5 Honestly lmao

user6 why aren’t more wags like this

user7 Publicity probs

user8 Publicity doesn't make sense because she’d fear it too..?

user7 Nah I actually don’t think she cares very much💀

user9 You guys keep doing you, this is amazing.

yourusername Hell yeah😩

Twitter

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 563 others

yourusername We’ve been around👯‍♀️

Tagged: yourbestfriend

View all comments

yourbestfriend FUCK YEAH WE HAVE

yourusername Ugh we should travel together sometime

yourbestfriend We should

landonorris Where was my invite?

yourusername Nonexistent.

landonorris Wow. I feel so insulted.

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 63,278 others

Tagged: landonorris, yourbestfriend

yourusername Welcome to my Instagram, peasants. Above, you can see a little bit of everything I serve on here (and yes, I do SERVE).

View all comments

yourbestfriend Hot

yourusername I know

landonorris ❤️

yourusername tmrw is our 1 yr anniversary.

landonorris Did you think I forgot?

yourusername Yes

landonorris You’re not wrong…

user1 1 YEAR WHAT????

user2 They hid it for so long😭

user3 I’ve been waiting ages to finally gain access to her Instagram

yourusername thank you, loyal plebe.

user4 2nd pic is me during exam season❤️

user5 Literally same

user6 She’s living my dream fr

yourusername I must be very powerful, then

user7 Skin care routine???

yourusername Random shit from drugstores

user8 She’s so down to earth but classy in a funny way. How tf do I even explain her😭

yourusername I’m an enigma

user9 Lando is lucky wtf

yourusername Right?

user10 No but you and Lando compliment each other so well

yourusername Ty<3

landonorris

Liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,037,278 others

Tagged: yourusername

landonorris For a whole year, you’ve given me everything I’ve ever needed. A fun and breezy outlook on life. You’re just amazing. I love you and I didn’t forget about today❤️

Comments have been limited

yourusername I’ll let it go for today. Only because I love you too❤️

Liked by landonorris

maxverstappen1 Congrats you guys👏

Liked by landonorris

yourbestfriend Feels like yesterday I told you how to get her attention😔

Liked by landonorris

carlossainz55 Congratulations guys, enjoy yourselves today🍾

Liked by landonorris

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻…

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩! (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙙𝙢𝙨, 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙨: 𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧(𝙨) 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚(𝙨) 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣.)

*Please note that liking the taglist will not put you on it!

[happypedrohours]

Sara speaking: My Lovelies! ☺️ What a weekend of Love that was, topped with all the new SNL50 Pedro juicy content! 😃 It was a pleasure to organise with my partner in crime Mel a second edition to this event. I want to thank you all to have participate in it and to have helped us spreading the love. 🥰 It was wonderful to interacting with all of you..😌 Thank you to the ones who sent orders for the Virtual Bar (30+ orders this time around... Woo-oo!!! 😀) and to the one who have created for the Bouquets of Pedro Challenge (I can't wait to spend the next several days to read all your wonderful creations! 😊😊) Btw, if you still need to post your entry do not worry!! Post and tag us whenever you are ready!! We'll make sure to link your work in the masterlist! 😀

Most of all, my heart was full in seeing so many of you sending out Valentine's cards to your loved ones...😍 In a moment like the current one where violence and assholery seem to be increasingly present (and where, unfortunately, this is also reflected in our community), seeing so many of you thank, celebrate, support your moots was simply fantastic and heartwarming!🥹 Maybe we are not a perfect community, but I feel like saying that we are capable of transmitting love… and this is a precious gift. ✨💖✨

Forehead kisses to each one of you... 😘😘😘

Mel speaking: Hi, guys! It's been so fun preparing this new event for you all! I was only around Friday night because the rest of my weekend was booked but I've lurked and saw you all have a great time and it's made me so happy! I have some asks to reply to that I'll get to soon and I can't wait to read all the wonderful submissions to the Bouquets of Pedro Challenge!!!

Below is a poll to see what you have thought of this edition of the event. Your feedback will be much appreciated... 🙇‍♀️ We love and appreciate you all...💖

[bonefall]

BGA fumbled Gray Wing so hard but can we please talk about how they said people hated Clear Sky bc " he's a villain " ( unless I'm misremembering they said that a lot ) like they're right in a very generalized way but come on. Also I noticed a lot of Crow cope but maybe that's just their humor going over my head ( also how tf are they gonna say " yup Tom is a monster " but then go " they hate him bc he's morally gray/a villain " )

Listen... BGA is far from a "bad" WCtuber, and she's not the only one to have this problem, but that video did have that same vibe that most Please-Read-DOTCers have where it feels like they haven't actually critically engaged with the arc they read.

like. i promise you that nothing about Gray Wing smugly watching a domestic abuse victim get dragged back to a wifebeater because it "serves her right" for taking his Plan B Love Interest away from him for 6 months is treated as "morally gray" by this story. Bumble is in fact ultimately blamed by both him and the narrative for getting killed by his shitty brother, because she was a soft, fat woman.

RE: Skinwretch's post:

And speaking of the shitty brother (the one whose victims are exclusively women, children, and his god-given doctor).

While it is true that there was a general trend in her poll to put villains low on the list (which makes it hard to tell if they're actually hated or just fulfilling their role as villains), it's a little disappointing she didn't try to interrogate why Clear Sky was right next to Bramblestar. Of all the villains, why was this one so low?

Especially when she managed to note;

Barely anyone actually read DOTC, and yet, Skystar still ranked second place

He's the only villain to get a ""redemption arc"" and that makes the back half of DOTC dissonant

Star Flower's romance with him was, in her own words, "weird."

She's got the dots. The video was kind of agonizing because she didn't connect them.

I WILL say though that we need to put the term "morally gray" up on the Big Kid shelf until everyone like her stops saying that liking Breezepelt is "excusing his actions" while also implying that encouraging your son to direct hatespeech at your ex and doing mental and physical child abuse is actually very nuanced if your girlfriend died.

If that was just part of her humor I don't know her well enough to "get," that's fair enough. Still, it rubs me the wrong way because that's a genuine stance I encounter a lot in this fandom.

DISCLAIMER: I don't know BGA or her stances enough to have opinions about her, all of these gripes are generally aimed at wider fandom trends.

[m-ilkiee]

"Sometimes, we may have the best intentions for our friends, but ultimately, our actions can have the opposite effect. Such was the case of Emma Sano.

Although not her intention, she had pressured (name) into doing things that made her uncomfortable such as going to the mall with her brothers and making the girl forcibly interact with her abusers, encouraging her to sit on Manjiro's laps despite (name) expressing outward discomfort, and then leaving her with her brothers, who only became friendly with (name) a week prior. Her inability to see through her brothers' act and real intentions, coupled with her overzealousness to keep you in her life forever by setting you up with her brothers, has lead (name) into dangerous situations, such as nearly being assaulted by Manjiro Sano. Unfortunately, this will not be the last time that Emma's seemingly good intentions leads (name) further down the path of pain and regret."

Layla's commentary podcast on Chapter 3 of "Monsters"

Welcome to the second Monsters poll, how is everyone doing? I know some of you have written finals or are in the process of writing finals and to that I say comgratulations and good luck!

We had a few blips, but I'm back. And I'm better than ever. This chapter was an intense rollercoaster of emotions, bringing (name)'s fears and emotions to life. Unfortunately, it has also marked the beginning of the end for her since Manjiro has started to 'fall' in love with her. It's only a matter of time until Izana starts to chase after her since he has a constant need to outdo Mikey.

Now, as for chapter 4, we're bringing back the original black dragon members for this one. I won't spoil it for new readers, but this is the chapter that Shinichiro meets (name). It may go a lot differently from what og readers know, seeing as this is a timeline where Shinichiro had to fall into darkness to make sure his siblings were taken care of amd to save Izana out of the orphanage.

Izana will also play a huge part in this chapter, and there may be a huge development between him and (name), especially since Mikey will request him to watch (name) for him closely while they are at the Sano residence.

Takeomi may have had a few lines back then, but mow we have to remember, a girl like (name) is exactly his type and Shinichiro is complict in everything Takeomi does. What do you think happens when an older man in power wants a young woman who has no one to fight for her?

There is only one turning point, one decision that (name) will make that would seal her fate in chapter five and it involves one character, so:

Remember to reblog or send an anonymous asks why you think it's any of the three options or if you think it's someone else entirely.

For the blind item on the previous poll, congrats to anyone who answered: Rindou Haitani. Please message me if you did so that I'll give you your reward.

#2 Blind Item: Lust and Lies

"I wonder if Mikey knows it's obvious he's attracted to that girl. Long before the car incident, I always caught him staring at her body like it's a piece of meat, especially her legs and feet. He's not exactly trying to hide it either, seeing at how many times he admitted during Toman game nights that he'd fuck (name) if she wasn't a virgin and it would be the best sex of his life because her body is perfect. I wonder if he listens to himself when he lingers on her panty cam that he sent on the group, how he was so greedy with it before he eventually was forced to show us or how he seems to beat up any pledge or lower Toman member day dreaming about you.

At this point his attraction to her is an open secret. But he'll never admit it because he hates her so much." - submitted by an anonymous Toman exec. Who could this be? Let me know in the anons or the comments along with your answers for the poll.

[erbiumspectrum]

Subatomic particles from a chemist's point of view - part I: the electron

This proposition actually came second in my poll, but it still had quite a lot of votes + I really wanted to write it, so here it is. Initially, I was going to make a single post, but when I finished writing the part about the electron I thought it was getting a tad long. I decided splitting this post might make it easier to digest :)

Peeking inside the atom

What is a subatomic particle? As the name hints, it’s any particle smaller than an atom. This means that electrons, protons, and neutrons all fall into this category. Protons and neutrons are made of quarks and there are also many different subatomic particles that the relentless researchers of CERN keep on cooking up, but I’m not going to talk about them because do I look like a physicist to you? Let them get excited (and despaired) about the wild assortment of the little guys making up the Standard Model. I’ll stick to the particles that chemistry finds especially important: electrons, protons, and neutrons.

Electron

Ah yes, chemistry’s specialest guy, the rockstar of this science: the electron. Arguably the most important particle for chemistry. If you’ve taken high school science then I don’t need to explain why that’s so, but just in case you actually slept through those classes (shame on you) I have one word for you: bonds. Okay, maybe two words will work better here: chemical bonds.

Chemical bonds

Atoms bind together to make the gaseous oxygen we breathe, the sucrose that dissolves in our coffee and the caffeine in said coffee, the proteins that build your body, and the ibuprofen we all worship using electrons. In fact, if chemistry is the study of matter and the reactions and changes it can undergo, then there is no chemistry without electrons. Chemistry exists because electrons do what they do.

So what do they do? Again, even if you never went any further than high school science classes, you probably remember that atoms are made up of shells (sort of like an onion or an ogre only it’s a stupidly complicated onion) with a nucleus in the middle. Those shells are made up of subshells and subshells are made up of orbitals. Phew. Within shells sit the electrons, but it’s the outermost ones that make chemists all excited (or despaired), because they’re the ones taking part in chemical reactions and forming chemical bonds. We call them valence electrons.

Valence electrons can do all sorts of things to make atoms form molecules. The valence electrons of two separate atoms can bind them together by mixing their orbitals and then sitting there in the single smoothie of the new orbital, now shared by both of the atoms. This process is called hybridization and the bond that’s formed here is called the covalent bond.

Actually, you get two new orbitals or rather as many as there were before this mixing and shuffling. Hybridization is a relatively difficult concept for newbies though, so don’t worry about that.

However, some atoms are greedy and they aren’t willing to share their electrons with anyone. They can form chemical bonds by stealing other atoms’ electrons and turning into ions: and thus turning those other – more generous – atoms into ions as well. This we call the ionic bond. There’s a third option too, chosen readily by metals because metals are commies: the metallic bond. Atoms forming this kind of bond stick together thanks to an electron “cloud” made up of the valence electrons of all those atoms, permeating the lattice this creates and conducting electricity (because they’re called electrons for a reason, right?).

Properties of the electron

Charge: negative one elementary electric charge, AKA -1.602×10^(−19) C (thank you Mr. Millikan).

Mass: 9.109 ×10^(−31) kg (uwu).

Radius: are you out of your mind?

I mean. Theoretical / particle physicists are very much concerned with figuring out the radius of the electron. Good for them! But it doesn’t matter here.

Look. There’s a handful of things that they drill into your head during a chemistry degree: no food in the lab; safety goggles on or I’ll fucking kill you; you only get to keep your dignity until you splash yourself with acid; there is no god, there is only Atkins; everything is a model; and finally – THE ELECTRON IS NOT JUST A PARTICLE OKAY it’s not a teeny tiny marble orbiting the nucleus going wheee!, it’s a quantum bastard that interferes with itself like a wave, then shoots across the apparatus you thought was clever like a particle once you set a trap, it’s an indecisive, secretive, sly asshole that makes chemistry, at its very core, a quantum nightmare of inhuman integrals, spheres, and some donut-shaped absurdities in the place of the onion-like atom model you know from school, I mean look at this thing for god’s sake

Anyway.

We don’t know the exact radius of the electron. Estimates have been made but no final answer. Why? Please ask a physicist. Your resident tumblr chemist signing off for now.