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rvllybllply2014 · 1 month ago

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This is based on my life. Also non linear. Abusive toxic relationship, non graphic descriptions of attempted rape, rape joke, and descriptions of violence, threats of being killed without explicitly being told ie it’s through actions, dealing with an alcoholic. Older brackenwood, tiny side of Davron. Aeron and Davos are fine it’s Amos who’s in the bad relationship. Read at own risk. If you need to chat dms and asks are open. Also more an explainer at the end.

Amos always taught his boys, yes his boys, Aeron and Raylon to never settle and to never believe that they deserved to be abused. But if they were caught in an abusive relationship then they could come home no questions asked. But Amos has somehow trapped himself in an abusive relationship, and he’s embarrassed to be trapped.

He’s gotten good at dissociating the bruises that occasionally pop up. He tells himself that these bruises are the last time, he’s not stuck he has money and he doesn’t have to put with the alcoholic he’s dating. That he’s done being accused of being a cheater, a whore, being called worthless. Amos is tired of doing everything for his alcoholic partner, he’s tired of pretending everything is okay. But most of all he misses his friends Willem and Samwell.

He had to stop being friends with them after one too many arguments early in his relationship. His boyfriend kept accusing Willem of helping Amos cheat or encouraging him to cheat. It didn’t matter how many times Amos defended Willem from the accusations, his boyfriend would never listen. With Samwell his boyfriend was okay with their friendship, Samwell was married with a kid so no threat to his relationship.

What his boyfriend never realized was how much Amos used both of them as sounding boards early in their relationship. At times Amos felt like he was going crazy with all the accusations and how he was being treated. To Willem and Samwells credit they always validated his feelings and encouraged him to do what was right. Willem even tried to remind Amos that he was a good person and stronger than he was acting now.

Maybe Amos should’ve waited longer before jumping into a relationship, after Amos had just lost his wife nine months earlier he was still healing. But too late Amos realized he should’ve listened to Willem, he was just desperate to be loved again and his boyfriend was good at love bombing him. Willem and Samwell were weary when Amos told them that he spent eleven hours with his date and at the end his date said he loved Amos. But Amos just brushed it off.

Anyway the first fight doesn’t happen until Willem invites Amos and his boyfriend out to dinner. Aeron is invited too since he’s just started dating Davos, it’s a way for both Willem and Amos to make sure their nephews are taking good care of each other. Amos thinks the outing is going well, Willem and the boyfriend seem friendly and Aeron and Davos are having a great time.

It’s only after dinner and Amos is driving them home does his boyfriend really let his feelings be known. He starts playing songs about the man has caught his girlfriend cheating and is a hoe and they’re done. Amos doesn’t catch on at first, he only does once his boyfriend repeatedly plays a song saying how they’re done and you can’t trust a slut. Amos looks over to ask what the fuck is wrong with him?

But he stops when he sees and finally feels the anger rolling off his boyfriend. His boyfriend tells Amos that they’re over, he caught Amos checking out all the men that came into the restaurant, he even had a friend come in and his friend confirmed that Amos was eye fucking him. Amos was a disrespectful whore for doing that, while completely ignoring the fact that Aeron and Davos were seated close to the door and he’d occasionally glance at them. Also it’s natural to glance at people walking through a door, no one ever knows if a friend could walk through it.

Amos is tempted to fight his boyfriend on what he was actually doing but just says okay we’re done but can I come get my clothes from your place?

Which was his first honest mistake. Amos was allowed into the apartment and once he was in there was no escaping. Amos was not a small man but his boyfriend had the element of surprise and a drunk rage that allowed him to pull Amos across the floor by his hair. His boyfriend yelled that he hated Amos and he needed to leave right the fuck now while pulling Amos towards the door by his hair. Thankfully once at the door he let go his hair and just shoved Amos out with his clothes.

That is when Amos should’ve let the relationship go and block the shitty boyfriend’s number. But he stupidly believed that his boyfriend was just drunk and that he really did love Amos. Which was confirmed the next day when he received a call from his boyfriend apologizing and saying that he did love Amos, he’s sorry for what he did. So Amos took him back.

The second time Amos should’ve left and blocked his boyfriend’s number was when they went on a staycation and had a hotel room to themselves. Amos woke up to a pressure in his and his boyfriend on top of him complaining about how Amos tightened up and broke the condom. Amos rightfully freaked out and asked what the fuck his boyfriend thinks he’s doing?

He never agreed to being fucked while he was asleep. His boyfriend swears that Amos was awake otherwise why else would his ass tighten?

Amos explains that he was very much asleep and people do subconsciously react to things while asleep. But his boyfriend insists that Amos was awake, Amos eventually lets it go. He knows his boyfriend did attempt to rape him, but he’ll never mention it again. Ironically it’s his boyfriend who always brings it up swearing that he’d never attempt to rape Amos. That Amos was awake but wants to make himself feel hotter by saying that he attempted to rape him. How his ass isn’t that great anyway, it’s not in his character. Never mind the fact that just weeks prior his boyfriend was laughing at his cousin making a rape joke aimed at Amos, by saying Amos just needed to be held down and that he shouldn’t stop even if Amos told him to.

The abuse kicks up on their six month anniversary. Amos booked a nice hotel with a romantic package added on. But his boyfriend had other ideas, he got drunk again and started shoving Amos around the room. As soon as Amos picked up his boyfriend his boyfriend started biting him from the top of his shoulder to his elbow, that Amos could thankfully hide under his shirt sleeve.

He even almost shoved Amos into the glass shower while saying that Amos was a whore and cheater. Once his boyfriend had decided that Amos was “locked” in the bathroom, the door was just closed, he left the room. Amos not entirely sure about what just happened or what he should do stayed until he came back. Amos was quietly crying to himself, when his boyfriend came back. It was maybe a couple of minutes of his boyfriend being back before they heard a knock on the door with the person identifying themself as a manager.

Amos told his boyfriend to just sit on the bed he would handle the issue. Once Amos opened the door he notices that security was also with the manager. Amos’ boyfriend came up behind him and noticed the security guard and just bolted. The security guard followed the boyfriend while Amos stood there apologizing to the manager. The manager explains that the room next door called the front desk about a disturbance in his room. Amos keeps apologizing for the disturbance, the manager reassures him that he’s not in trouble but his boyfriend now is.

Eventually the cops catch his boyfriend and take him to a drunk cell in the jail. The cops also ask Amos if he needs medical attention, Amos stupidly keeps the bite marks /bruises hidden underneath his sleeve and Denys the medical attention and repeatedly tells them he won’t press charges. The cops tell Amos that he deserves better than his boyfriend and it’s not too late to leave, this relationship isn’t worth it. The manager says that Amos can stay or have the charge removed from his card if he leaves. Amos leaves, while thankful that Aeron was with Davos that night.

Amos receives a call from his boyfriend later on in the night. His boyfriend accuses Amos of having a party, he heard the tv show Amos was watching in the background. Amos stupidly agrees to come see him later and to take him back to his apartment. It was stupid because Amos knows he’ll keep his promise.

Amos does visit his boyfriend and tells his boyfriend that he’s been permanently banned from the hotel. Amos also shows the severe bruises he received from all of the bitting he did. His boyfriend asks if Amos hates him, but Amos can’t find it in himself to hate him.

More time passes with the occasional fights and accusations. They mostly happen when his boyfriend is drunk. Before Amos knows it years have passed and he’s just grown used to being called a whore and getting bruised from his boyfriend. He’s just thankful Aeron moved out with Davos and has a loving relationship. He’s also thankful that Raylon is living on his own, and starting a relationship with a wonderful woman. That way nobody knows how abused Amos is. Hell Amos doesn’t want to admit to himself that he’s abused, because according to his boyfriend real abuse victims would just laugh at him.

Never mind the fact Amos had gotten: a black eye, chocked, hit/slapped, punched in the chest while driving twice (thankfully he blocked it both times) Amos asks why he’d do that and the response he received was because he felt like it, been screamed at in public, had the wheel jerked towards ditches, had his arm twisted to the point of almost breaking while driving (again multiple times), his fingers almost broken, lightly punched on the legs/feet, had his arms held down while getting slapped in the face resulting in bruised arms, and his wrist almost broken. He was also punched in the neck while driving but thankfully the idiot missed and hit his collar bone and the idiot tried to light Amos on fire while Amos was driving. Also when his boyfriend gets drunk he is in pain, he’ll scream and then pinch Amos to the point of bruising him. Amos also revives a lot of bites when his boyfriend is drunk. Amos also learned to not make eye contact with anyone otherwise he’s eye fucking that person.

Amos flinches when his boyfriend makes sudden fast moves but also gets asked why he does? It’s not like he’s being abused and it’s making him look like he’s being abused so he better stop it now.

It took years of silently suffering before Amos reached out to Willem. After Willem hears everything he pulls Amos into a hug telling him that he’s sorry that Amos suffered all of that in silence. But he’s here now for Amos. Willem tells Amos that he loves him and he understands if Amos doesn’t want to date him, but he will treat Amos better.

It takes Amos almost a year before he decides that he does want to date Willem. He’s scared of a new relationship even after Willem shows him how much he does love and respect him. But once Amos gives him a chance it’s the type of love he craved with his last relationship. Willem is everything that he needed. Willem also helps Amos relearn how to make eye contact with people.

Aeron and Davos even get over the fact that their uncle got together. They’re happy as long as their uncles are happy, even if their uncles are technically in-laws now.

So years later at Amos and Willems wedding Aeron and Davos give speeches about how they were supposed to be the only Blackwood/Bracken wedding but here they are at another Blackwood/Bracken wedding. Raylons speech is short and sweet, welcoming Willem into the family again and announcing that he’s going to be a grandfather in about five months.

So yes Amos spent years in a shitty abusive relationship but he got out and even if he didn’t consider himself a survivor he truly is.

Anyway the attempted rape happened to me. I was asleep on my stomach and woke up to my boyfriend on top of me complaining about how I tightened my vagina and broke his condom. He always claims that I was awake and he’s not a rapist or an attempted rapist. And the list of what Amos went through yeah happened/still happens to me. His cousin who has never met me nor will ever meet me said to my boyfriend that he just needs to hold me down and fuck me. It doesn’t matter if I say no, my boyfriend just laughed instead of shutting that shit down. To this day he swears his cousin didn’t mean it, but does get mad if I throw that situation onto his niece saying that it’s wrong to wish it on her. But it wasn’t wrong that I went through it? He also said that he’ll never respect me because I ask him to. Anyway abusers swear they’re not abusers but they are and alcoholics deep in their addiction swear they’re not and try to switch over to what’s wrong with you. If you’re in the same situation I’m so sorry, whatever you’re feeling is valid and I love you.

#older brackenwood #davron #house of the dragon #willem blackwood #amos bracken #aeron bracken #raylon bracken #davos blackwood #abusive relationship #samwell blackwood

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mariamermaid · 4 years ago

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Crush

Modern! Harry Potter x fem!Granger!Reader

Summary: Y/N Granger, the absolute Queen amongst the students, with many admirers and even Harry himself, finds himself falling for his best friends sister.

Words: 2.7k

A/N: Requested anonymous: “heyaaa, can you make harry potter x fem reader in which the reader is hermonie's elder sister and very popular in the school and harry has massive crush on her? like the song crush by tessa violet?” I also decided to write this in a more modern style! I feel like all my Harry Potter imagines end at a party?? But who cares.

Your laughter echoed through the hall before any of them could even see you. Harry immediately felt his heart speeding up, while Hermione next to him, only let out a sigh. You turned the corner and Harry, Hermione and Ron finally made eye contact with you. You had joked with Cedric Diggory and Harry felt an even deeper sting in his chest. Quickly, you waved your goodbye at the Hufflepuff boy before joining your sister and her friends.

“Mione, you look like seven days of rain were just announced!”

Hermione only rolled her eyes, no one really fully understood how the two of you were related. Ever since beginning your education a year prior to Hermione´s, you had been crowned one of the most popular students. Unlike her, who especially struggled with making friends in her first weeks, you were at ease with social contacts. Another difference was your approach at studying, you simply didn´t enjoy spending hours and hours at the library and yet, you weren´t bad at any subjects. You weren´t class best, but at the top five. Outgoing, adventurous, funny and charming; it was no wonder why everyone seemed to like you.

Usually, your popularity wasn´t a problem for your younger sister, but lately Hermione realized a changed she wasn´t very fond of.

Harry.

Within the past weeks, he had been daydreaming a lot and barely focused on anything anymore. And unlike Ron, who was probably last to find out if he wasn´t explicitly told, Hermione quickly realized why that was.

I can't focus on what needs to get done

I'm on notice hoping that you don't run,

“Haha, very funny Y/N!” You nudged her side grinning. “So, what are you guys up to anyways? Trouble I reckon?” Ron and Harry smiled as you chatted with them.

“Hermione makes us study for the upcoming potions exam”, Ron explained, which annoyed Hermione even more and you laughed lightly. “Ron, you should start listening to her, pretty sure she´s the only reason you haven´t failed.” You turned to the boy with the glasses.

“What about you Harry? Sentenced to study as well?”

Harry opened his mouth, but before any words left his lips, Hermione pulled him closer.

“Yes, his talent won´t let him pass all the exams!”

You gave the two boys a pitiful pout, but then switched back to your smirk.

“Anyways, I´ll have a date at Hogsmead to try on the upcoming summer collection!”

You think I'm tepid but I'm misdiagnosed

'Cause I'm a stalker, I seen all of your posts,

Two hours later, Harry got a notification on his phone; Y/N uploaded a picture on Wizagram! Hermione, who was currently too focused on Ron, didn´t see how Harry sneakily took his phone and hid it beneath the desk. You stood smiling widely in the shop Feathers and Fabrics, wearing a dress from the newest collection. Even though you had posted the picture only minutes ago, the likes were already rolling in and the comments didn´t hold back as well.

Harry read your caption; Guys, this is only a small sneak peek, just wait there will be more!

And I'm just tryna play it cool now

But that's not what I wanna do now

And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now

A lot of the comments were from female students. “You look so stunning!”

But then again, a few of your male followers couldn´t hold back. “Gee Y/n, is it hot in here, or is you?”

Harry felt heat rushing up to his head, but tried to play it cool, so his friends wouldn´t notice. Quickly he hit like and put the phone away, trying to focus back on studying. But the words in front of him were beginning to blur and tumble. You weren´t dating anyone currently, but everybody knew you had enough options. Fred and George even made bets on it, secretly hoping one of them could win you for themselves. Each time the topic was discussed, Harry felt the pit in his stomach, digging deeper and deeper. He was the chosen one, but would you ever choose him?

Hermione noticed her friend beginning to trail off, but it wasn´t the right time to address it yet.

The weekend approached, the old game of Gryffindor against Slytherin was in everybody’s mouth. Harry was just getting dressed for the game, then his eyes fell back on his phone. He unlocked it and found himself back on Wizagram, you had posted a boomerang in your story with the Weasley twins. Both of them wore their Quidditch uniform and leaned forward to kiss your cheek. You wore a hat with the Gryffindor colors and a light dress in red, while grinning widely into the camera. “Rooting for my fave team!”

Both Fred and George as well the Gryffindor Quidditch Account, who was proudly run by Oliver Wood, were tagged in the story. Harry quickly scrolled past, realizing that each of the tagged Accounts had reposted your story. It was stupid to think you wouldn´t root for him, but he wasn´t tagged, was he?

It’s a stupid crush, Harry reminded himself, but even later when he stepped onto the field with the team, his eyes only searched for you in the crowd.

But you found his glance as well, offering him a reassuring smile. It´s all he needed, those very few seconds of your attention and the game started.

The game was at tie, but the rooting and shouts from the fans kept going either way. Harry tried to play cool as he searched the arena, secretly searching for you. As he found you again, you hadn´t even moved from your seat, he noticed your eyes guiding him. Just above the tower of the Hufflepuffs, the golden snitch hovered. He didn´t have time to rethink and his muscles moved on their own as he leaned forward to start rushing. Draco tried his best to follow, but he was at the other end, and Harry easily caught the snitch and held it up proudly.

“And Harry Potter proves again, Gryffindor is unbeatable this season!” The speakers echoed and the crowd went even more crazy than before. All Harry could think about however, was he had to thank you. But the moment he landed back on his feet, he was carried off to the Gryffindor room, where the party immediately started.

It felt like eternity, until he finally found you in the overfilled place. But there you stood, smiling innocently at him, like you had been waiting all along for him to approach.

“I think I owe you a thank you.”

You make it difficult to not overthink

And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink,

I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird

It's such a rush, I'm thinking wish you were here,

Harry had to lean forward in order for you to hear him, feeling as your hair brushed against his skin. You winked at him. “Yeah, you do, but we´ll keep it between us.”

He wanted to lean further, his hand twitched as he tried not to reach out and touch the bare skin of your arms. Even your smell felt divine to him. Before he could speak up again, Niall Atkinson, he was a year older than you, wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Y/n, let´s dance!” He offered loudly as he pulled you closer. In the same second, Ron, Fred and George swept Harry into their circle to begin dancing as well, even though it was more an uncontrolled jumping. Harry could only catch your apologizing glance, before the space closed and the two of you were pulled into different directions.

And I'm just tryna play it cool now

But that's not what I wanna do now

And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now

He truly wanted to celebrate the success with his team, but his attraction craved more of your presence. But what was he supposed to say? Sorry, I have to run after the girl, that everybody anyway wants and is also my best friends’ older sister, but my biggest crush?

No, he couldn’t.

So, he tried to overplay it, danced and jumped around with Ron, but the shine in his eyes was gone. Hermione sat on the stairs, glancing back and forth between you and Harry. She knew both of you well enough, to tell that neither of you were fully happy at the moment. An inaudible sigh escaped her mouth, what was once jealousy, turned into sadness. Yes, her best friend had the biggest crush on her sister, but what no one knew, was your crush. You had never told Hermione, or anyone for that matter, but the reason why you never accepted a date offer, was because the wrong people asked you out. Hermione didn´t fear losing Harry as a friend anymore, she much more feared that the two of you never even got a chance to be happy together, and instead ended unhappily alone. She had to do something.

Then, an idea formed in her brilliant mind.

You starred on your phone; Harry had sent you a dm on Wizagram. He had never texted you, your history simply persisted in you tagging him, when you posted stories. Usually, you hung around Hermione at the three broomsticks and more so often, you tagged the trio in your account.

I wanted to talk to you, can we meet outside at the corner to the girl’s bathroom?

Your heart skipped a beat, quickly you looked up to check, if anyone had noticed your blush, no one had. You couldn´t make out Harry either, but you quickly excused yourself from Niall. Whatever was happening, you found it quite exhilarating. You answered with a quick yes and Hermione hastily logged out of Harry´s account. Harry was a brilliant wizard with many talents, but writing down his password in his herbology book wasn´t the smartest move.

Hermione grinned, her plans always worked out.

But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like

Hopin' you'd text me so I could tell you

I been thinking 'bout your touch like

“Harry!” The brown-haired boy looked up to find his friend approaching him, Hermione smiled brightly. Almost too brightly, but Harry wasn´t focused enough to realize that something was up.

“Have you seen Y/n?”

Harry quickly shook his head and Hermione, good actress as she was, put on a thinking mien.

“I haven´t seen her as well, just wanted to make sure she´s okay, she´s been so quiet lately.”

“Quiet? I didn´t notice”, Harry explained and Hermione could literally watch how his thoughts began running around you. “I´m sure it´s nothing, but I think I´m going to check her room.”

“I can check outside!” Harry quickly announced, she had to suppress a laughter, he was easily tricked. But instead, Hermione nodded agreeing and while she only took the first few steps up, Harry hurried outside, not wasting any time. Only seconds before, you had left the room as well. Everything was coming together.

Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch

I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush

I got a fascination with your presentation

Makin' me feel like you're on my island

You're my permanent vacation

Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch

You stood outside, hiding behind a corner and almost disappearing in a nook, but Harry immediately recognized your figure. You looked up from the phone in your hands and felt as a smile crawled upon your lips. Harry felt his heart fastening and he approached with swift feet.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked with worries in his voice, your brows furrowed. Something felt off, but you pushed that feeling to the side. It was probably just your nervousness. “Yeah, I´m good, are you enjoying your party?”

Harry shrugged, his eyes traveling to the floor. “It´s always a bit of the same, isn´t it?”

You nodded agreeing and a short, awkward silence formed. “What was it, you wanted to talk to me about?”

Harry looked up, now confusion in his expression as well. He wondered, if you had noticed his change of behavior towards you. But he never mentioned it out loud, or did?

But you watched his reaction closely, something clearly was up and while Harry was still trying to piece everything together, you took out your phone again. Holding up the screen, which enlightened the dark hallway, you showed him the text.

“Y/n, I´m so sorry, I don´t know how… I didn´t send that text…” Harry stumbled over the words and regret rolled over him. It wasn´t his fault, and yet he felt responsible for pulling you away from the party. You on the other hand felt shame rising and your cheeks heated with fire. His text had seemed too surprising from the beginning on, you should´ve known better. You felt stupid and wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and never come out again. Stupid crush!

Letting out a loud sigh, you sat down on the bench of the nook, putting your hands to cover your face.

“Did you just say stupid crush?”

Oh, if it was heat in your cheeks before, then hell just got unleashed. Where is that hole of shame, when you needed it the most?

Harry carefully sat down next to you, with your hands still up, you only felt the slight air breeze. “I shouldn´t be saying this, you´re Hermione´s sister, but I like you.” He paused shortly.

“A lot. More than I ever should.”

Swiftly, you glanced through your fingers at him. “You do?”

Barely a whisper as you opened your mouth, but enough to watch as Harry nodded. Slowly you took down your hands, now starring at him with a blank expression.

“Why did you never say anything?”

Harry couldn´t help but huff. “Y/n, have you seen yourself? You´re school queen, nobody hates you, not even Draco Malfoy! You´re always on top of the grades and basically the entire Quidditch team has a crush on you. On the side, you´re head girl and you´re modeling for Feathers and Fabrics. And to all that, you don´t even realize, how undeniably stunning you look and how your kind words inspire me every day?”

I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush

Sorry

And yeah, it's true that I'm a little bit intense, right

But can you blame me when you keep me on the fence, like?

And I've been waitin', hopin' that you'd wanna text like

Text like

It's what I was born to do

And yeah, it's true that I'm a little bit intense, right

As he spoke, you jumped off your seat, feeling a wave of way too many feelings rave inside of you. “Harry Potter!”

Finally, he looked up as well and just to find you gaping at him. “Why by Merlin´s beard, would I care about the Quidditch team? Do you think I don´t know about the bets going on, on who´s going to be my boyfriend? The only reason because I don´t have a boyfriend yet, is because the only boy I´m interested in, was too shy to ask me out! And imagine, he´s brave enough to fight Voldemort instead!”

It was Harry´s turn to search for that hole of shame and he couldn´t help, but facepalm himself. There was no way that the situation could’ve been more awkward and playing cool wasn´t an option either. You listened to your heartbeat slowing down and your chest lifted heavily after your outburst.

“If I had known about your crush…” You trailed off, your words now barely a whisper anymore.

And I'm just tryna play it cool now

But that's not what I wanna do now

And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now

Finally, Harry lifted himself off the bench as well, walking towards you. “I didn´t send that text, but maybe I can ask you out in real life?”

A shy smile was on his lips, it suited him so well in the dim light.

“I´d like that very much.”

Carefully, you leaned forward, feeling his warm breath on your skin. “But let´s not tell anyone just yet, we have to find a way to get back to my sister.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrow, but quickly realized as well, who had hacked his account.

“Sounds like a good plan.”

Grinning, you finally felt his warm lips brushing against yours. It had taken a couple of misleadings, but your crush had found its way in the end.

But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like

Hopin' you'd text me so I could tell you

I been thinkin' 'bout your touch like

#harry potter imagine #harry potter oneshot #harry potter x reader #daniel radcliffe #harry potter fanfiction #mariamermaidimagine

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inanauthorsworld · 5 years ago

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how to use three act structure in your writing

Ah, three act structure! While I learned about this in a screenwriting workshop as a method for constructing screenplays, the model has worked wonders for every fiction piece I’ve written and just about any modern story is constructed in this way. If you’re struggling in finding the arch of a story, this outlines it very well!

First of all, let’s cover the structure itself: i. status quo: how things are at the beginning of the story, before things change. Doesn’t have to be included in the novel/screenplay/etc explicitly, but is the ‘before’ circumstances. ii. inciting incident: this is where your story really starts! It’s the thing that makes things change, like your protagonist finding out they have super powers or that their best friend is in love with them. iii. plot point one: this is where the story transitions from the beginning to the middle section. After the inciting incident, the character reacts to that change, and this is the reaction. It’s usually a decision made by the main character and their final goal is introduced. iv. complications: fairly straightforward. When a goal is set, there are complications that come along the way. A good model to follow is three main complications, though it isn’t so strict. v. midpoint: the midpoint is usually the most emotional point in the story, aside from the climax. It can be either an extreme high or an extreme low, dependent on the ending; a story with a happy ending has an extreme high in the middle, but a bad ending has a very low point. For example, a superhero story where the protagonist changes the world’s midpoint might be a montage of the hero rescuing civilians, while a more disappointing superhero story would show our hero in a funk where he’s unable to save anyone. In modern film, a lot of midpoints are montages, but that’s not a set rule. vi. more complications: don’t think our characters are getting a break just yet! Generally, three more complications will happen post-midpoint– usually either continuations of earlier complications, or problems that happen as a result of solving those. vii. plot point 2: circumstances change yet again! This time, a big decision is made to resolve complications. It can be thought of as the inciting incident of the climax. Transition from middle to end. viii. climax: the most intense part of your story. This is where every complication, including the main complication, comes to a point and either gets resolved all at once. ix. new status quo: same as the status quo, it isn’t always directly shown. It’s the way things are now, how things settle down after the journey our characters went on earlier. Should be different from the original status quo.

As three acts this is:

Act One: Before plot point one. It’s the beginning of the story, when things are beginning to change but haven’t yet. Act Two: Between the first and second plot points. The middle of a story, where action is happening and the story is in rapid progression. Act Three: Post-plot point two. The end. Things are settling down into how they’ll be in the new status quo.

For an example, here is a basic love story told through three act structure:

i. status quo: character A and character B are best friends. ii. inciting incident: character A accidentally discovers character B is in love with them. iii. PP1: character A decides they have to make character B stop loving them. iv. complications: 1— character A doesn’t want to lose their friendship. 2— character B doesn’t know why A is being distant. 3— A isn’t completely sure of their own feelings, and is feeling intense jealousy in their attempts to set B up with someone else. v. midpoint: character A realizes they have a crush on character B, shown via a montage of closeness and internal panic of character A. vi. more complications: 1— character A doesn’t want to ruin their friendship, now for different reasons. 2— character B doesn’t know why A is acting so weird. 3— A struggles to hide their crush well, even though character B is completely oblivious. vii. PP2: character A has enough of this, and decides to just tell B everything they know. viii. climax: character A arrives and character B’s house and confesses everything; they kiss. ix: new status quo: characters A and B are happily together.

Act One: Character A and B are best friends, but A knows B’s secret. Act Two: Character A decides how to deal with B’s secret. In the process of dealing with this, A discovers a secret of his own. Act Three: A confesses to B, and B’s reaction is positive.

A few things to note:

Status quo and new status quo’s difference.

How the inciting incident leads into PP1, same with PP2 into the climax— I’ve heard it described as the inciting incident/PP2 being the pulling back of the slingshot and PP1/the climax being the releasing of it.

PP1 and PP2 are both decisions being made by our protagonist.

The similarities between the first and second set of complications. Essentially: 1-- character A doesn’t want to lose B. 2— B is confused. 3— A is also confused.

If you set up your story with this structure, there will be drama and change. The main problem I find in the structure of new writers’ works is that either there is insufficient conflict, the conflict is too short compared to the story, or, after the solving the conflict, everything is completely normal again. With this method, it’ll be very easy to prevent that; if your story doesn’t fit this, it likely needs altering. The structure can honestly be difficult to understand, but watch a few films or reference previous things you’ve watched/read and find the structure— eventually, you’ll be doing it subconsciously every time you consume any media it applies to!

On implementing it effectively:

All three acts shouldn’t be given equal screen time. Generally, the ratio of Act One:Act Two:Act Three should be about 1:2:1 (aka, in a 100k word novel, 25k Act One, 50k Act Two, 25k Act Three), but that could altered (like in the case I stated— 25k of act one? No thank you). All the time, though, Act Two should be at least as long as the first and third act combined. All three acts are necessary, but I’ve seen some films with less than ten minutes of Act One where it helps the story.

When your story’s introduction requires much explanation or backstory, such as building a fantasy world or even a vital relationship between characters, it might be on the longer side, while a love story between two characters who are only just meeting might take shorter— it’s extremely dependent on the narrative itself and requires you, as the author, to gauge the situation and decide how it should be. Even with a structure as formulaic as this, writing is still an art that can never have any general rules applied to fit all situations.

Good luck in your writing! My DMs and ask box are both open!

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #fiction writing #screenwriting #screenwriting tips #young writers #writers block #writblr #writerblr #writeblr

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hydrangeasimagination · 4 years ago

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About Minors on my Blog

Well??

This is about to get somewhat problematic.

Anything I say surrounding topics akin to this one will be tagged with ‘dari rants’.

Everything is under the cut because I went off for a long ass time and it got a little dark.

It’s pretty rambly and was written late at night so I’m sorry if it’s hard to follow.

But fuck, I guess I should address the fact that there is more mature content on my blog now.

Anyhow, let me make things clear where I stand on this:

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE TO COME ONTO OR INTERACT WITH MY BLOG

I AM NOT THEIR PARENTS AND AM NOT GOING TO POLICE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY

MY BLOG HAS CONTENT THAT IS TAGGED

PEOPLE WILL LIE ABOUT THEIR AGE NO MATTER WHAT SO I CAN’T ALWAYS BE ABLE TO TELL HOW OLD THEY ACTUALLY ARE AND IT IS A WASTE OF THE TIME I DO HAVE TO PUT OUT CONTENT

I ALSO DO NOT condone minors interacting with the content of adults that expressly DO NO WANT them to interact.

I HAVE EXPLICITLY STATED THAT EVERYONE IN WHAT I WRITE IS 18+ UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE

THE WARNINGS ARE THERE. EVERYTHING IS TAGGED.

You know who I am responsible for??

My sister; nine years younger than me. Who followed me when I was a SFW blog but I made sure stopped following me and looking at my content as I figured that I’d eventually write NSFW content.

Sure, she knows the birds and the bees and deleted the app to free up space but that is not the issue!

THIS is the issue:

We have all been teenagers once.

Teenagers are hormonal and often are just looking for a place to express themselves in a manner that is healthy.

It’s better this than going off and doing something genuinely indecent.

They’re not old enough to watch porn either, are you gonna go and hunt down the film makers and actors?

No!

Before you say “it’s not the same”, IT FUCKING IS!!!

SAME GENRE, DIFFERENT MEDIUM.

I lost my virginity, at 14-15, in high school.

So many people have and still are!!

I waited!! It was a conscious decision I made with a slightly older friend of mine, are you going to hunt him down??

EVEN THOUGH I CONSENTED??? I LITERALLY PLANNED?? I ASKED HIM!!?

How about those helping minors learn the ins and outs, about boundaries and that they’re allowed to say no! Teach them what red flags to spot in a D/S relationship if it’d something they’d want to explore later on??

Keeping growing subs away from toxic/fake doms?

The teens that were exposed to awful things and want to feel the escapism of what it feels like to be in a healthy sexual relationship?

Those that go through repression and then lash out because they had nowhere else.

It’s a waste of EVERYONE’S time because someone is worrying about a teen going through development. I’m not also going to go through and block them all because there is also SFW content on my blog that is a comfort to them as well!

To put it simply; TEENAGERS ARE HORMONAL.

AND HORNY BECAUSE OF THOSE HORMONES!!!

Not all of them of course, but you’re going through a lot during that time and again - it is best expressed in a healthy manner as opposed to bottling it up.

It’s like around the time where normalizing masturbation is a thing.

THEY ARE RELIEVING STRESS

EXPLORING THEIR SEXUALITIES!!

FIGURING OUT WHAT THEY LIKE AND DON’T LIKE FOR WHEN THEY GET A PARTNER!!!

EDUCATING THEMSELVES!!!!

I’m still young myself, barely even look 20, but the way y’all act surrounding teens is a goddamn travesty.

Something against the law is minors producing / writing smut for the public to see or going around flirting with those that are much older than them or lying about their age, maybe crack down on that instead.

Of course, you don’t have to agree with me.

I’m not asking you to.

I am simply asking you to see it from my perspective as a young adult that was once one of these teenagers only three years ago.

This blog is supposed to be a place of positive vibes and comfort, meant to be a safe space for everyone that follows it.

You’re free to hit that block button if you don’t agree, but I can also do the same as I stand hard on this soap box.

I don’t enjoy confrontation. I truly do not, but leave your critiques for me OFF ANONYMOUS so we can have a discussion like adults

If it is anon, it means you’re a coward. I have no interest in bringing something that can be dealt in private to the public, to the people that support me and my writing, to the blog that I hold as a safe space without negativity

If you are being openly hateful, I will not subject my followers to what your problems are with me.

If it can’t be sorted out in private because you are fearful to how people will react in response to your right to exercise freedom of speech? Then you simply don’t deserve that response!

So you won’t get it. I won’t post it.

It’s going straight into the delete bin.

As opposed to hiding behind a screen and a mask and saying that “I’m an awful person” for what message I’m trying to convey - come to me personally.

I have an open mind and open DMs

There is no fear in me when I say I stand by what I said. No matter how long the debates drag, this is where I plant my flag.

In the end, we are all but humans behind our screens and I know this particular opinion of mine will pull those that are kind and are simply concerned about minors or me getting in trouble.

But I will not be blamed for the actions of a completely sentient and consenting being who believes they are mature enough to handle the things I write.

You can just block the tags ‘spicy’ or ‘not so safe for the workplace’.

Or if you don’t want to see any of these kinds of posts later on; block the tag ‘//negative’ or ‘// discourse’.

Respectfully,

~ Dari

#mod posts #important #//Very important #let's spin the roulette wheel #honestly #i don't really care #if i lose followers #i just wanted to get this off my chest #dari rants #// negative #// discourse

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weaselle · 5 years ago

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I got asked in my DMs to elaborate on my master project, so, just know if you click the read more, it’s gonna be like, a LONG ass read

(in b4: when I say things like “the poor” rest assured I am also “the poor” and not trying to feed into classist designations - I just need to be able to talk about different economic demographics. Also, I’ve pulled together several pieces of writing that cover this very involved endeavor for this ask, so there may occasionally be a slight overlap of information, tho I have tried to clean it up)

@victorylilygreen (lol, you asked) @ekinsellaauthor (idk I thought you might be interested)

______________________________________________________________________

I have a plan to provide solutions to the socio-economic crisis facing this country. As I put this together over a couple of decades, it was important for me to not be telling people how they have to live, but rather provide them the tools they need to decide for themselves how to live. This plan then, is more like a mutable format, the first iteration of which provides the example and proof of concept. Then, when people see a successful solution available, they will be sure to copy it -- because this piece of social engineering is meant to be self replicating this way, I often refer to it as a socio-economic worm First, a breakdown of how I arrived at my plan:

The fundamental questions at the base of my attempts at large scale socio-economic fixes are:

1- Since every current system in our society is dysfunctional or corrupt, how can a single simple solution address the entire tangled web of institutions that effect every part of our human lives -- from agriculture, to rent, to wages, to government, to education, to the textile and clothing industry -- it's all problematic and needs to change.

2 - Since we can assume the wealthy will never help change the status quo, how can we get the middle class to pay the poor to create alternatives to current corrupt systems? in other words, how can we free time and money in the economy such that doctors and lawyers and computer techs can pay cashiers and gardeners and cooks to create banks and homes and grocery stores so we can bankrupt Wells Fargo and Century Real Estate and Whole Foods?

And the first answer is, we can create a simple solution that addresses all of it by bringing all that under one roof, for one small group of people, and addressing that microcosm in a way that is replicable by other small groups, as well as able to be scaled up such that it is applicable to the larger society.

To answer the second question, we have to create a situation where the poor are making more money than they currently do. And they need to do this by providing more of what the middle class need (for less money than the middle class currently spends on it) This will provide some immediate relief for the poor while freeing up money in the middle class to fund the larger solutions.

==========================================================

Since we can't create money from nothing, one way to accomplish that is: instead of the poor making more money, the base concept of socio-economic organization of individuals has to change such that it lowers the cost of living for the poor. Lowering the cost of living accomplishes many of the same things as increasing wages. And we have to do that while engaging in providing more of what the middle class needs for less money that they currently pay.

Therefore, we need to identify what the middle class needs. A fundamental problem facing the middle class is that raising a family and running a household and earning enough money to pay for it all is a full time job for three to five adults, and they are trying to do it with two. Which is a major problem for the poor also. What the middle class is trying to do about it is what the poor cannot: buy themselves more time, literally. They pay someone to clean their house, they pay someone to watch their kids, they pay someone to maintain their garden, they pay for food that requires less and less time to prepare or they order to go food. They pay a dry cleaner or laundry service to wash their clothes. If they can afford enough of these things, they wind up with as much left to do as 2 people have time for.

The important thing to realize here is that these chores are the genesis of the necessary institutions that have become corrupt or dysfunctional. Everything a household or family needs is a microcosm of the larger industries and institutions. For example, paying someone to take care of your children is the seed of a school. Paying someone to prepare your meal is the seed of food industry - if you pay them enough to prepare you enough food, it becomes more cost effective to start producing the ingredients or getting them directly from the source. Paying an accountant to do your taxes or getting help with budgeting etc, grows into a bank. Paying someone to wash your clothes is the seed of the clothing industry - soon they can offer repairs, replacing buttons, fixing burst seams, from there alterations and tailoring follow... This is how the poor will be paid to grow new institutions to replace current problematic systems.

SO. Low-income workers need to organize into cooperative communities that leverage group dynamics to lower costs. If four families live together, they don't need to buy four toolbox sets, they can buy one and share. 10 families worth of food bought in bulk costs much less than 10 individual families buying food at the grocery store. Heating a single large building and splitting the bill is much more cost-effective than paying to heat individual housing units. And when one such group is shown to provide solutions and success, other groups will inevitably come together and copy it on their own, unprompted.

AND once they are organized this way, they should offer those services the middle class are trying to use as stop gaps - the chores the middle class are buying themselves out of. The best way to do this is buy creating the solutions to the chore/time crunch for their own community, and then selling those solutions to the middle class. In other words, someone needs to do the house cleaning, the laundry, the cooking, the gardening etc for the building they all live in, and then they can go on to sell that service to middle class households.

They need to do this for less money than the sum of those things currently costs, which can be accomplished via two techniques. The first is simply by bringing all those services under one roof. When the gardener and the housecleaner are arriving in the same company vehicle, the consumer is getting passed less in gas and vehicle maintenance costs, and so on.

The second way is to identify the one or two most needed, most expensive services, and find a way to lower costs for just those services significantly. Maybe something like babysitters that function as small, suburban neighborhood daycares during peak daycare hours, and the babysitters would fill the rest of their work week elsewhere in the company.

Now! We have the poor with a lower cost of living, providing relief services to the middle class in a way designed to grow into the new food production, the new clothing industry, new banks, new schools, new hospitals... and when you have all these things, you can make whole cities that are largely autonomous. Again the concept is to bring under one roof smaller versions of all the needed things in life that have become the large problematic systems that currently exist, giving citizens the real power to either force those institutions to change, or replace them. When you have new cities, they can demand or create much larger change in government, in power production, in raw material sourcing for things like lumber and fuel. And hey can be built on purpose, instead of the chaotic haphazard growth typical of current cities. If citizens want to live sustainable, socially progressive lifestyles, it behooves them to live in municipalities explicitly designed to facilitate that.

This is my solution.

It starts with a single building. A single community. I have planed the building and community, budgeted it, designed it to be able to grow into these larger solutions. I have started the procedure to create it, taken the first small steps.

step One A: Creative Suite (already working with a small team on this)

My plan is to run several big fundraisers over the next year and partner with an SF Bay Area municipality (probably Oakland) to open a public arts production center by converting a warehouse.

The purpose would be to have a creative recreation suite with communal equipment and spaces, such that, if you wanted, for example, to make a music demo, or do a pod cast, or make cooking videos for youtube, you could easily accomplish that using the space and equipment available in the arts production center. To include:

dance floor / props and body work space

music center / DJ booth and instruments

recording studio - both audio and visual, with lighting, green screen, mics, cameras sound proofing

singing booths - individual sized sound proof recording studios, wired with a mic and output

industrial kitchen - large fridge space, rangetop and large oven, utensils / tools, big counter top

painting studio - surfaces (not always canvas) paints, brushes, frames

Crafting studio - buy bulk discount from creative center for reuse in berkeley?

wood and metal shop - partner with a tool library? is it possible to get a recyclable high-density ceramic 3-D printer to print tools with?

electronic repair (and robotics?) center

stage / small theater space / workshop with attached makeup studio

sewing and costuming – sewing machines and cloth bolts etc

gaming center - table top rpgs, card games, board games etc outdoor component, pool table, anything we can get a good deal on

computer bank - about 5 computers for general use / e games

leave one/take one library, scattered 1-2 person writers nooks

garden center

Amazingly my estimates from initial research indicates I can put a cheap, functional version of this together for about twenty thousand dollars. In terms of installing this stuff in like, an otherwise un-refurbished warehouse. Even if I spend $35k, that’s like, a new car. Plus I want the first month or so of funding to run the place up front. That’s gonna be water, garbage (it’s a lot for the dumpster a place like this needs) a shitload of electricity, and 3 people’s worth of monthly salaries to start.

Then there’s the rent or lease, which runs about $2 per square foot in the SF Bay, and I’ll need at least 5 grand a month’s worth of space. Plus monthly supplies, for whatever deals on paint and stuff we can scrounge. That means the monthly operating costs are like $25k a month. Hence large fundraisers for the initial build out and first month’s operating. Plus you draw your initial arts center membership from the fundraiser attendees.

Which, I’ve thrown warehouse parties before, so I think I can hit a target of a couple hundred people at each party spending $35 apiece. There’s a trick to it – you keep the cover charge low or non-existent, and then provide a lot of opportunities to spend money inside, like games and food and stuff. Low or no charge to attend drives attendance up, and then you have more people spending money.

One key element is, you fill out the paperwork to be a catering company. Not only do you use this to sell food at the event, but ALSO it allows you to file for a single-use liquor license so you can have a bar. Usually there are a finite number of liquor licenses in a municipality, and they can go for millions of dollars. But with a catering company’s single event liquor license you can legally sell alcohol at the party. NOW we’re talking money.

anyway, I’m HOPING I can find state, federal, or municipal grants and assistance programs for the arts (and also, maybe some kind of, entrepreneurial support programs, but for like, small personal internet ventures?) Maybe even get some city to cut the rent in half by forgiving the property taxes on the warehouse or something. If I can’t, I may have to adjust the fundraising vs start date timing. Membership will be a monthly fee like a gym. I’d love for it to be free, and will certainly stay open to anything that allows that, but by the numbers it’ll have to be about $50 a month. Still, that’s like a 24 our fitness membership. One refill of gasoline. About one person’s share of an electricity bill. A phone payment. It’s a doable monthly bill for a lot of people. Monthly budget to be supplemented using the space, for example dance classes, ticketed theater performances, live band music shows, etc. So it’s possible we could drive membership prices way down. and maybe certain days or times could be free to the public or something. I want it to be accessible. Of the 3 monthly salaries mentioned above (each at $20 an hour) one is for me and that’s all I need, enough money to live on and access to this facility. There’s no way I can figure out how to afford this kind of creative suite for just me, but I might be able to figure out how to make one a whole bunch of us can afford This is just the first step of a very involved something I’ve been putting together since forever. But even if I only ever accomplish this first nesting-doll of a scheme, I’ll be very pleased.

The Creative Suite is like, an egg. And it should hatch into a little baby iteration of a socio-economic worm I’ve conceived.

If I can grow it to the full beast, it should become a self replicating, bottom-up revolutionary process that could improve the lives of many millions of people and put more power over our personal day to day lives back into the hands of the common public.

I have thousands of words in hundreds of research drafts and notes and exploratory essays, etc, but… Roughly speaking that looks like

flip the Creative Suite into MN Building One, a scheme designed to allow minimum wage workers to access more free time, lower their cost of living, and build equity by acquiring and owning their own property. Mortgage is paid off in ten years. Meanwhile

Building One starts up a business called Full Service Living that leverages group economics to allow for ethically sourcing goods while addressing the issue that middle class nuclear families with two adults face 4 full time adults’ worth of labor to maintain the household and raise the children.

Full Service Living becomes FSL Pro, in which the first group offers the next group of minimum wage workers their old building (cutting out the banks from the process) while acquiring a second building, gives the new people in Building One entry level jobs in FSL that pay better than minimum wage, while adding second tier careers to the mix living in Building Two – lawyers, accountants, mechanics, teachers, etc. These two groups continue to propagate more communities in their paired type one and type two buildings. Each of these community pairs contains the seeds for various institutions designed into them, and are meant to cooperatively grow into:

Community Support Centers. These offer a variety of support services to surrounding communities. Such as: day care and after school programs, tax and bill/budgeting assistance, legal advice/support. The sum of the total efforts by all parties is designed to blossom into:

A school A construction and landscaping company A public owned Credit Union/Bank A public service law office An ethical clothing line An alternative low footprint locally sourced supermarket I call Alt-mart (Alt-mart works hand in hand with a food production construct I have in mind. It’s a little involved for this breakdown)

All that with room for other endeavors people see a need for. The initial concept brings most issues of modern life under a single multi-family roof such that communities are afforded the opportunity and resources to create alternatives to the flawed or corrupt institutions with which we are currently participating.

When that all coalesces into networks of these communities and institutions, we’ll have all the necessary pieces to the puzzle and I hope a city will be built. I’ve designed many elements of it. Engineering as well as socio-political and economic design. But who knows if I’ll ever get there.

More detailed breakdown of the plan follows:

Project Overview and Concept Exploration:

Begins with providing affordable housing, property ownership, and upward mobility to minimum wage workers. Becomes a network of live/work facilities with a focus on sustainable entrepreneurialism, accessible autonomy, and community outreach.

These facilities function as socio-economic labs - they are on paper corporations, to access any advantages, protections, and loop-holes available to the corrupt institutions currently running the economy. They target the large corporations, ultimately seeking to end them. They produce businesses such as restaurants that grow all their own food, and doctors that are paid for by the apartment complex to provide medical care to residents.

Additionally, theses facilities provide a new way of life, in a format that allows for autonomy, but also allows for successful participation in the current economy... where all the money is.They also attempt to alleviate the time crunch problem for the middle class, wherein managing a household and raising a family is actually three or four full time jobs.

As such, the facilities are designed to grow into these large businesses/institutions:

SCHOOL

A preschool through junior college school on 3 cooperative campuses, wherein the school functions as a microcosm of the economy as a whole for the purpose of study: school gardens provide cafeteria food; school wood shops produce school furniture; economy classes figure out how the school budget can afford the water, fertilizer, metal, and wood.

3rd graders have classes in the garden learning the biome and doing the weeding; 8th graders are each growing 3ftX3ft gardens and helping in the large garden; 11th graders are cross-pollenating and designing green housing and aquaponic systems; bachelor students are splicing plant genes in the lab.

But by then some of the students have stopped being involved in the garden, and are making replacement hinges for all the school doors as metal shop homework or squeezing enough money out of the school budget for a big homecoming event.

By the third campus, students are living on site, so there is housing to manage. Student store and cafeteria provide economic interactions; the whole of our socio-economic society done small for study and practice, under a single administration instead of our current system of a scholastic career being broken up into mismatched administrations, which is a disservice to our students.

ALT-MART

A facility meant to compete with Target and Walmart and Whole Foods etc. It grows from the live/work facility kitchen and meal-plan set up. Alt-mart features a permanent farmer’s market, supplemented with an onsite garden/nursery. There is an onsite industrial kitchen and restaurant that uses overstock from the farmer’s market and ingredients from the garden, possibly purchasing all unsold produce from the farmer’s market at a discount.

The restaurant offers prepared foods for sale to the public, kitchen processes overstock into consumer goods like ketchup, frozen microwaveable breakfast burritos, and canned corn. Bakery also, of course. Facility also features a tool-library with a 3-d printer that can print any tools not on the shelves.

Additionally features local tailoring and a second hand clothing store. The local tailors get access to all the second-hand pieces for use in making their own clothes to sell onsite, as well as some facility-bought cloth and onsite machinery (sewing machines to textile machines like tuffters, gins, and looms).

Toy aisle is franken-toy land, where in-house creative DIYers take second hand toys and make whole new toys out of them. Electronics section is mostly repair, and offers lessons in repair. Book-nook and greeting card section features local/community writers. And so on. The goal is to offer an alternative to the big one-stop-shop stores, with a focus on local/community sourcing.

CONSTRUCTION COMPANY

This business grows out of building maintenance and groundskeeping into a landscaping company, then into a construction company. It should be the company used by the network of facilities for any renovations and repairs, so it should grow quite large.

COMMUNITY-OWNED CREDIT UNION (and LAW OFFICE)

Basically a non-profit bank, that offers community outreach for people who need help with budgeting, would like to learn about mortgages and homeownership, etc. Grows out of a Community Support Center that also offers community office space and legal advice.

FIRST STOP HOSPITAL

Not a full hospital, at least not at first, this should just be a few medical professionals that can answer common questions, provide emergency medical response, and assess medical conditions. Not for treatment so much as to find out what kind of treatment you need and who to get it from. Where first-time parents bring their babies when they’re not sure if they need o bring their baby to an emergency room. Honestly, medical care is the hardest part of this whole thing and I'm not sure if it's going to be possible or what to do about it.

CATERING AND EVENTS COMPANY

This is what get’s the ball rolling, the catering folds into the care-taking positions within the facilities, and the events company later become basically the arts entertainment and media/information division. There's a traveling circus element. It's fun.

These projects can possibly culminate in a whole large, sustainable city built from the ground up, that I have outlined. It involves building a large hill and two small lakes. I am happy to talk a lot more about that, but it clearly necessitates all the above pieces and more.

OKAY, so much for the overview. Let’s start at the beginning. The loan is for 2 million dollars, for a property of 1 million and another million in remodel costs.

Note: I ran the following numbers for California. Obviously property values and minimum wages are different other places, but the concept should still be applicable. Additionally, these are preliminary estimates only. Additional research and budgeting is required.

____________________________________________________________________

First I have to tell you about a type of loan called “Micro debt”

Basically, if you loan 10 people a total of 100k, they are each responsible for 10k of debt. If one of them defaults, the other nine split their debt, so now each of them has about 11k of debt, which is payable as it is not a significant increase in debt per person. However, this also encourages them to all help make sure nobody defaults on the debt -- for example, if one person is in danger of defaulting because their car was totaled and they can’t get to work, there are nine other people with a vested interest in making sure that person gets access to a vehicle or ride share. If a person starts to default on payments because they are drinking all the time, there are nine other people who are going to drag the to AA meetings.

A couple of banks in Bangladesh and Germany have had success with this, citing a 98% repay rate which is a few percent better than the average home loan repay rate here in the United States. Additionally, there are at least a couple million people who have this structure of loan here in the states, so it's not unheard of nor untested, even specifically in our own economy.

_______________________________________________________________________

SO. 28 people get what is essentially a home loan for 2 million dollars. We'll call them group A. They each have about a $71,000 mortgage, their share of the loan. (note, an average mortgage in California is like, nearly half a million, so, less than a hundred thousand is a GOOD mortgage)

Group A buys property (ideally unused/abandoned industrial sites or dilapidated property in low income areas) for about a million, maybe a little under, and builds a facility on it for about a million, maybe a little over. (I looked at apartment building costs per square foot and reviewed properties currently for sale in California to get these numbers).

Some of the money is earmarked for partnering with the city on local infrastructure - so, say the streets in that neighborhood need repaving, we might buy all the materials for the city to do that, saving them money, incentivizing the city to work with us on rezoning and permits, while at the same time those kinds of improvements are an investment in the value of the property. This is because many of those buildings are not zoned as live-work the way this project requires, and rezoning without incentivizing the city to cooperate is a nightmare.

The facility is 60 bedrooms, with an industrial kitchen, plenty of diverse common space, and shared facilities (like at a gym: banks of private shower stalls, even a hot tub and a sauna, because if you’re going to ask people to give up single use showers in their own apartments, you want to add value).

Group A moves in and rents remaining rooms to an additional 28 people, we'll call them Group B.

Now, out of 60 rooms we have 56 people living in the facility. 10 of them are caretakers. Instead of paying money, they pay their way in labor, and they additionally receive a monthly stipend of 500 dollars a month to start. The caretakers do all the building maintenance and groundskeeping, they do the housekeeping and laundry, they make sure the bills are all paid, and they provide (cook) a meal plan. Utilities are all included in rent.

This means that anyone renting there has a single, affordable monthly bill for their cost of living, never has to cook, never has to do laundry or wash a dish. I call this Full Service Living. And the budget is for 60 but only 56 are planned in, with 4 slots available for social outreach, so this community can offer semi-temporary room and board for free to women fleeing abusive relationships, disabled veterans, homeless people with children, rehabilitated felons, whoever they want to help.

All this for a single payment of $1,000 per month, per paying resident.

Rent, food, utilities, housekeeping, everything. In an area where rent alone is more than that. This guarantees that a person making local minimum wage can afford to live, and pretty decently, with more free time and less headache.

When the building is paid off, if they want, Group A will each have a room to live in, plus a room to receive rent from, as income.

Let's break down the budget for this so far

(60 people, minus 10 caretakers and 4 outreach residents, equals 46 paying residents)

Per Month Costs to Paying Residents:

Meal plan for 60 people = $5,000.00

60 person phone plan = $1,800.00

Internet sufficient for a business: $400.00

Water bill for 60 people = $1,800.00

Electricity for 60 people = $3,600.00

Garbage bill for 60 people = $2,000.00

Caretaker stipend = $5,000.00

(subtotal: $19,600.00)

Building/Community fund = $1,853.002

million dollar mortgage = $21,213.00

Property tax = $3,334.00

Total: $46,000.00= $1,000 per paying resident per month, roughly $600 “room” and $400 “board” with as many costs of living as possible paid as one low bill.

Sharing a room adds a "board" payment to the room, so if you move a romantic partner in with you and split it evenly, you each pay $700. I also have discount rate breakdowns for people with children in various scenarios, but it starts to get complicated for what is supposed to be a simple overview. Basically it comes down to an inherent flexibility in the meal plan; the fact that a food budget for 60 people easily accommodates an extra mouth to feed could allow a group to offer a single parent a separate room for their child with no board payment, so they could live in two rooms for $1,500; stuff like that.

At those payments, the building is paid off in ten years. TEN. Our low income earners don't have to wait 30 years to be actual property owners, and they only have to give the bank an added $500k instead of the 1.4 million a 30 year mortgage would net.

Here is one place people replicating the format and participating in their own group can do whatever they want. The 28 building shareholders have the option of leaving everything the same but owning the place outright, which means they are no longer paying the ~$500 mortgage portion of their bills, instead each receiving about $500 in rent from the other residents, which is a net gain of $1k per month each in disposable income. Or they could all just sell the building and split the money 28 ways. Or they could all move out and use the entire building to generate residual income. Anything is good, we've made almost 30 people property owners and built them equity for only minimum wage while they provided relief services to the surrounding community, so anything they think is best, we've already done it good.

Ideally they move into a second building and sell the first building to group B, which is what the very first group will have to do to complete the seeding of the entire project.

SO. The two buildings I mention represent two stages of the greater project. Full Service Living, and Full Service Living Professional (hereafter FSL, and FSL Pro)

In the first stage, you have 10 caretakers providing full service living to 46 paying individuals, most of whom make minimum wage, and 4 social outreach recipients. FSL is basically getting as much of your life as possible handled with a single low bill, something similar to living in a good hotel.

To expand, The caretakers additionally seek to offer this service to middle class households - these homes already hire a house cleaner, a gardener, use a dry-cleaner, order delivery food, so they are prime clients. As middle class households become clients, the caretakers need more people to handle the work load, and the other people living in the facility quit their minimum wage jobs and work for the FSL company. This will earn the group profits as a whole while paying the individuals close to $25 an hour. THIS allows the second building to be much nicer.

With a second, much nicer building, the 28 people move in, and they find 28 new renters from higher up the economic food chain. These folks need to earn at least 35k a year and include people from a specific list of professions. This new group of 28 shall be referred to hereafter as the tenants.

The rent agreement is unique: The 28 tenants pay about 2k per month each for the same package, the FSL company from the first building provides all the housekeeping, meal plan, etc. The tenants also agree to pay one third of any increase in their wages, up to a cap, with the money going toward renovations, improvements, and additional services and amenities. This means as your income increases, you pay more actual dollars, but a smaller percentage of your over all income

So if you are making 35k you earn 3k a month, which means you pay 2/3 of your income to the facility (many people spend this much on rent plus food). If you double your income, you now earn 6k per month. Your rent package would go up by 1/3 of your additional income, or one thousand dollars, and you would still have an extra two thousand dollars per month of personal discretionary income. You would have started out paying 2/3 of your income, but now you’d be paying only 1/2 your income. Your building improves, your life improves, but you’ll always be able to afford it, and every raise you get does give you more spending money. Additionally, the staff is motivated to really give you all the support they can, as a well supported individual is more likely to have monetary success.

And one more important thing. Tenants either pay an additional 500 bucks a month in money, OR they offer $500 of their professional services to residents of the facility. Unclaimed time must be made available to the surrounding public for free.

So, say a paralegal values her time at $50 dollars an hour for qualified legal advice (such as, do I need a lawyer for this? what kind of lawyer do I need? What is this legal process going to look like?). The 50 residents only use an hour this month, so something like 9 appointments should be made available to the surrounding community for free - the facility staff will handle outreach (letting the community know of the offer via flyers etc). They will handle making the appointments according to her availability, and will provide the facility’s communal office space to hold them in.

These programs allow businesses to grow in a very low risk environment. Let’s look at a day care worker. She’s a classroom assistant at a day care, going to school part time to finish her teaching degree. She offers residents hours of baby sitting as her $500 service. As she earns more money, the facility also earns more money, and can renovate a space that sometimes functions as a play room for kids. No longer going to school, she is earning more money, the facility hires a permanent babysitter or two, and she manages them. Free to residents, they accept neighborhood kids for a reasonable fee. Low cost good quality day care becomes available to the neighborhood. She’s a class lead at a good school now, making more money, so the facility can afford to hire classroom assistants and the baby-sitting / daycare starts offering after-school programs to older children, well on its way to being a small private school, with our tenant running it.

Similarly, restaurants and construction companies grow out of offering facility residents goods and services.

To recap the ideal situation here: 28 people live in a nice 60 bedroom facility. They own a business in a neighboring facility, which houses workers who are paid fairly, but who also pay the first group monthly on a ten year lease (instead of paying a bank) -- after which that second group owns the building they live in and no longer has to pay. Everyone’s cooking, cleaning, laundry, are all done for them. By now their meals are largely made from the facility’s garden and aquaponics greenhouse, which includes a fish-farming pool, a few goats, a cow or two, and some chickens and ducks. Living with them in the facility is their lawyer, their nurse, their electronics expert, etc. They’re all part owners in their own non-profit bank/credit union, and there is an onsite day care, gym, and communal workshop. The group offers outreach programs to the surrounding community: low cost high quality day care, legal advice. They provide semi-temporary room and board to those in need, such as women fleeing abusive relationships, disabled veterans, and the homeless (especially those with children). They are an active part of an ongoing socio-economic program designed to give low-income housing, property ownership, retirement options, and upward mobility to minimum wage workers, as well as alternatives to broken institutions to all.

By the time they pay off the second building’s mortgage, the first building has been paid for over again, and THAT group can move into a ANOTHER FSL Pro building, offering their new building to a new round of pro tenants while offering that first building to a THIRD round of low income workers.

The first 28 people achieve all of this, building ownership, business proprietorship, community support, within the same thirty years it takes to pay off a standard home loan, starting with nothing more than entry level jobs and this master plan.

From there, growth continues. More buildings are offered to more low income earners. More facilities means more services, amenities, cooperative power, a stronger micro-economy. Political influence also increases with membership...

Eventually, you can take all these businesses and facility/communities, and go build a whole city, which looks a little like this

See the problem with cities is they grew organically. No one ever sat down and said “we know we want a hundred thousand people to live here -- what is the best design for that?” Instead is was just, some people, and then some more people, and then some more...

So.

You go out in the middle of wherever. You dig two GIANT holes. You take the dirt from the holes and you build a nice big hill. You fill the holes with water and you have two lakes. Now you have a nice place people want to live, nestled between the lakes, under the hill. It gives you enough water and topography to create a resource feedback loop and control things like wind and sun exposure.

You regulate everything for sustainability, design it from the ground up.

Current municipalities have to provide everything for the public from a budget that largely comes from property tax, which is 2% of the property value. That’s why when there’s something like a homelessness problem, there is no money to address it properly.

This city holds all the property in a trust administered by the elected city officials. Instead of rent paid to private landlords, the public leases their homes and businesses directly from the city, which keeps rents low and controlled and gives the city an incredibly large budget compared to current municipalities, which allows them to provide outstanding public services -- transportation, healthcare, parks -- as well as giving them enough budget to address any issues like homelessness. Regulation and organization for sustainability as a whole city addresses the fact that existence is always interlocked issues. For example:

Grey water. In this city, only approved cleansers are allowed for sale or use (and the city provides one. Because the city provides it, it has to be cheap and easy, which means that there is always room for improvement, or, a business selling better cleansers for more money. But no one will ever go without one available, even if they are broke). SO, no bleach down the drain. So you can take the grey water of the city, and dump it on the top of the hill into a manmade creek/river, which starts full of rocks, then pebbles, then sand (a natural filtration process) flows down the hill and ends up in the first lake, which is recreational. The second lake sits a little lower, and the water flows into it from the first lake. In the second lake there are fish farming and bi-valve farming, which additionally filters the water (especially bi-valves like fresh water muscles, which feed by straining the water through organic filters and not-for-food populations should be in the first lake as well). The city pulls its water from the second lake through its combination water purification facility / power plant. The power plant uses a steam turbine already so we simply run that steam through a charcoal filter, and re-condense it into molecularly clean water for municipal use; this uses our existing power generator, instead of requiring massive amounts of additional power.

That’s just one example. The city has it’s own sustainable agriculture program, and grows it’s own food. There are public meal plans, and a lot of organization of the city economy that I just don’t have the energy to get into here.

These designs allow a large group of people to live with very little environmental impact. It would be healthier for the citizens. And it would encourage a certain amount of political unity, while removing a lot of stress from modern life.

The city is modular in growth. So when the city population doubles, roughly half of them build a city nearby and live there.

_______________________________________________________________________

Aside from the first two facilities (and then probably the first of the cities, if that happens) I don't need or want to be involved. As it replicates into more and more facilities, the baseline should remain: "here is a format by which minimum wage workers can own property and grow wealth in a way that allows them more control over their lives and denies profits to existing corrupt industries and corporations -- copy it if you want and suit it to your own group of residents”

I don't want to tell people how to live or what to do, I want to give them tools and templates to improve their own lives, whatever that looks like to them.

Anyway, believe it or not, this is only about a tenth of the detail I’ve put into this. I can never get the whole picture of any of this out in one go, but I've spent a lot of time on all the details which, as you can tell, are innumerable. The ways in which the FSL buildings act as entrepreneurial incubators by cutting start-up overhead to nearly zero while providing an initial customer base of 60 regulars, the various permutations that could address specific scenarios, the details of how to add gardens and fish and food production supplemented by ethical food sourcing.. I could just. keep. going. forever.

It addresses the whole tangled set of problems. You have to help high population areas, but also go out to the middle of the country. You have to help low income earners and people in poverty, but also our middle class is struggling. You have to do things that effect education, infrastructure, ocean management, industrialized food production, population density/overcrowding issues, helps prevent homelessness, creates better jobs for workers of big box stores while providing affordable more sustainable alternatives to their customers...

I think this plan does all that and more.

I’m exhausted and can’t find all my work on this right now, it’s buried in email chains and computer back ups, but I think I more or less encapsulated it. Good night

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selfish-thunder · 5 years ago

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+ I've considered transitioning before, but I always let the thoughts of 'oh, what will ____ think of this?' get to me but now, my urge is growing stronger and I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a girl. / So, I guess my question is, how does one fully decide to start T? And although I'm uncomfortable with how I am now, should I just wait post-graduation to begin identifying and begin transitioning, as doing so now will be denied and cause more problems than I already have?

Hi!!! Oh goodness, I feel honored you feel safe reaching out to me. I assume the other anon was from you, too, but I’ll put my reply to this one.

I hope I do good by you, and I'm sorry it's taken me a while to answer. I'll reblog this a few times in hopes you see it.

First of all, I want you to know that I completely support and love you. And yes, will support and love you no matter what you decide for yourself. You can completely be whatever gender you ARE without any physical transitioning whatsoever, point blank. For whatever reason. Transitioning and identifying as something aren't mutually exclusive. I'm sorry you aren't in a position where you can just go ahead and do what will make you the most comfortable, and your concerns are valid. They directly affect your quality of life, so it is definitely a big decision.

So, I guess my advice is...

First of all, people may surprise you. (You can also be a little sneaky in how you come out to people, even though it's probably cheating lol. When I came out to my mother, I opened with "You told me you love me unconditionally. Is that still true", basically letting her know I was about to put that claim to the test. At the end of the day, she doesn't understand, is confused, but will stand by me.)

And I totally understand how thinking "what will x think" can hold you back.So, I'll tell you something a friend told me once that was extremely helpful for me. Don't think of it as "coming out", but rather you inviting someone into your story. Being trans is especially difficult if you decide to transition because there is a period of time where you don't have the option of "being out" because one look, and people can guess. And that time is from starting hormones until about a year or two later, so again, your concerns are valid. Regardless, just because people might make assumptions based on appearance, that doesn't mean you have to let them into your story. You don't have to tell anyone anything if you aren't comfortable with it.

My next bit of advice would be, find an adult (I'm assuming you’re a teenager, so my apologies if you meant school as in university) or a teacher who you trust. It may not be someone you've interacted with a lot, maybe just had for one class, but if you feel like this person is reasonably open-minded and accepting, you can go ahead and let them know there's something on there. Not the full story if you don’t want, but something.

I did that with my boss and a few of my coworkers so when going to HR, I already had support. If you decide to transition, you can then approach the school and offer a willingness to work with them, and you can show on the record that you were agreeable and reasonable (COYA, in case they're a bunch of dicks).

There's also a ton of resources.

For example, where I live, there's a thing called the "TransBuddy" program that is a bunch of volunteers willing to help, such as going to doctor's with you, helping with legal name changes and gender markers, schedule appointments and be an active voice explicitly to support you. Go incognito and see what's around your area. From my experience, a lot of people are willing to come to you if they're in a different town. Just please, please, please be safe. Ask for references.

If you do not feel comfortable or safe doing your own research for whatever reason, I am happy to try to help. (I’ll try to already put together something of national support and things anyway, maybe a lot of people can use it...)

As far as what to expect during your first few months...

For the first few months, expect your body to sweat a lot more (your scent will change too, and the sweatiness last a long time, tbh), you'll start to grow hair (EVERYWHERE I swear), your face will probably bloat some, and your voice will start to change a little (ie, start cracking when you talk, etc). You may find yourself happier and less anxious because you're finally starting HRT and finally getting to be the person you want, but t can effect emotion too, such as finding yourself more easily irritated or what have you. So if you notice a change in emotion reaction, just keep that in mind. And you'll grow your own Adam's apple (I don't know why people actually think they're implants?????)

After about six months, your emotions should even out. Your voice will continue to drop, most likely, and growing facial hair will be easier. Your face will also start to harden then (probably might bloat so more), becoming more masculine. After about a year, your Adam's apple will probably be prominent, facial hair common (even if it's not thick yet), and then is usually around the time people begin surgeries if that's what you want.

Keep in mind, your doctors will start you off on low dosage, and you'll work your way up. Also please keep in mind that, though you can stop hormones at any time, so effects will not reverse, such as growing facial hair and your voice.

Even if you stop t, those will remain how they are when you stop. Just something to keep in mind.

So yeah, it's a big decision, but I don't have to tell you that. I would look for an LGBT clinic, or at least an LGBT-friendly clinic, and get all the info from a licensed doctor before officially ruling one way or another.

Please, please, please note: If the doctor is making you uncomfortable, feel like they aren't listening to you, or obviously tries to sway you against it because of their own personal ideals or opinions, find a different doctor. Politely thank them for their opinion, and feel free to discard it. A doctor should put your health and your mental health first, and dysphoria is a real, legit, big, and sometimes dangerous thing.

Which brings me to my last bit.

There are lots you can do to feel more comfortable in your body other than transition or doing HRT. Binders and packers (my packer is awesome, I love it so f’ing much) help me as well as just wearing men's clothes. Having a support group helps tremendously too. Also, having a gender-neutral presentation may help too. For me personally, I shrugged off the expected feminine appearance years ago. I unintentionally got people used to seeing me without makeup, wearing big boots and flannel. Them finding out that I'm now on t caused most of them to be like, "Huh, yeah. I can see that."

So, if you only a little bit longer to go before you are able to graduate, move to a more supportive place, and politely start to break away from those who would deny you or make you feel unwelcome just because you dare to be who you are, then that could be a game plan of sorts. It was for me, at least, at work.

I mean, this is your LIFE. This is who YOU are. Be honest with yourself, yes, but there's nothing saying you can't be clever about it. Right now, it's the summer, so you can some time to play with your appearance and how you present yourself before you have to go back, if that’s something you want to do.

The most important thing is you do what is best for you, for your health, both physical and mental, and when it comes down to it, you don't have to invite anyone into your story. I can't advise you as to what decision you should make because that's yours to make. Again, though, whatever you decide, you have my complete and utter support.

And for what it's worth, to this blog, you are a man with he/him pronouns for however long you want. I have yet to meet a trans person who at any point thought their journey was going to be easy, but it definitely doesn't have to be lonely or unnecessarily hard. You are allowed to ask for what you need, to ask for help, and to tell any adult - any person - that they make you feel unsafe and you request to deal with someone else. Please be safe, make sure you map your exits, but don't be afraid to stand up for you.

If you need anything, feel free to reach out. You can DM me, too, and I promise to keep anything we talk about confidential and offer you a safe, nonjudgmental space.

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spicybeaurito · 6 years ago

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Do you have more to say on player etiquette? I like your insight into this & it might expand what I've gleaned through my limited experience

Ask me about DnD!

There’s a lot to be said on player etiquette, though I feel like I can’t just leave it at etiquette issues I’ve noticed with players, there are other issues of etiquette related to DnD that happen mostly because there are a lot of different interactions going on in a session. You have, of course, the interactions between players and the interactions between players and DMs, but there’s also the interactions between players, DM and spectators that perhaps should be addressed as well, and so I’ll touch on that here as well.

It’s such a complicated matter, and I don’t think I can be brief on it, so you’ll have to excuse the long post that is to follow.

I’ll start with etiquette between players, because that’s one of the basic interactions of DnD: you are all at the table because you want to tell a story together, and to do that, there are some things to consider:

Be considerate of new players. I’m still new to DnD myself, but I can say that it’s important to be kind and welcoming to new players. That doesn’t mean you have to hold their hand the entire time, but don’t be a jerk to them. If you know they’re a new player (whether new to the system or new to the entire hobby), be nice, offer to share some organization/note-taking tips, and if they ask you how this class feature or that spell works, tell them. Don’t expect them to do their research all on their own, or memorize the number and type of dice, plus the damage type, saving throw and imposed conditions of every spell on their spell sheet. Understand that new players might be a bit slow to learn how something works at first, or unaccustomed to the way that combat works, and be patient with them. The DnD community is one that is open to anyone who wants to come, and if you snap at new players for building their class so it’s not optimal, or rolling the wrong sort of damage the first few times, or forgetting about an ability, it’ll only discourage new players from joining a community that is supposed to be open and welcoming to all

Don’t hog the spotlight. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, DnD is not a single player game, and if you want to go on an epic fantasy quest but make yourself the center of the narrative, play Skyrim, or write a book. I think most people are very aware of this, but every so often, you encounter that one person who decides they are going to drag these other random adventurers who they’ve just met, maybe killed one pack of gnolls with, and take them on a quest to kill the evil tyrant who murdered their family and claimed their title, and then make everything else about them. I’ve encountered plenty of rangers or rogues who decide they don’t like being with people (in the edgy loner way) and you aren’t really sure why this kind of character is then being used for a collaborative storytelling game, when all they want to do is be on their own, and so they go off and do their own thing. Don’t be that guy, please- it’s not all about you, it’s about the group. It makes the game a lot less fun for the other players and can stress out the DM if you do it consistently (more on that later).

Don’t speak over one another. This is a tough one, because I know you do reach moments when your character would try to interrupt another, and that’s fine, but when you have four or five players talking over each other, it can get to be too much. Not just because of the general confusion of it all, but because there’s other things to consider might be affected by your decision to try and talk over another player. First of all, it’s inconsiderate to other players (such as myself) who are easily overstimulated by aural stimuli, and can sometimes lead to an anxiety attack if it continues for too long. Second, it’s just rude to talk over one another, to the point it doesn’t even matter what would happen in character. It’s inconsiderate to players who are trying to follow one line of conversation, or to more quiet players who don’t usually speak up but are now getting steamrolled because you absolutely have to say something.

Don’t touch other people’s dice. Please. I know dice superstitions are sometimes silly and Probably Fake, but let people have them. If you need more dice to roll damage, or because you forgot yours, or whatever, just ask first, and wait for them to be handed to you. Don’t wait for the affirmative, then go grab them out of whatever arrangement the other player has them in. The dice are their possessions, superstitions or no, and it isn’t polite to just go grabbing for something that doesn’t belong to you. Ask permission, and allow the player to select the dice and hand them to you. Also, remember to return people’s dice if you borrow any. There’s nothing more sad than an incomplete or missing set of dice.

Don’t have your phone out. There are exceptions to this. If a player has a loved one in the hospital, for example, or, on an even smaller level, if they need an app to look up spells or calculate hit points, then you’re fine to be on your phone. The main issue there is players not paying attention because they’re on Twitter and then demanding that information be repeated, or players who take forever to decide what to do on a turn because they were on Facebook before they made a plan.

That’s what I can think to say about interactions between players and etiquette to consider there, so I’ll move on to DM and player interactions, specifically pointers for players interacting with DMs, because there’s a few things that I’ve seen that are worth noting.

Be considerate of your DM. Being considerate of your DM means a lot of things. It means recognizing that your DM is a human with a job or other obligations outside of DnD, and sometimes, those obligations have to take precedence, and those obligations can and will stress your DM out. There are other plates spinning besides the plan for next session, and I think sometimes there is a tendency to think of DMs as these tireless creatures whose sole occupation is writing this story. Be considerate of the other stresses that might exist, and don’t complain if a session is cancelled because your DM has a term paper due in a week, because real life comes first.

Offer help. This is more of something that is away from the table, rather than at the table. The DM does a lot of work for the players. They build the encounters, the monsters, the NPCs, the battle maps, they wear many faces and hats (and sometimes voices), and they do their best to make sure you have a good time. Oftentimes, they will host the session, which is a lot of stress not just on them to clean and have the space ready, but those they live with, to have this constant presence that might not always be a welcome one. That said, offer to help in any way you can, and this can be in a lot of ways. You can offer to host a few sessions at your place, or help the DM transport any materials (no peeking though!), or even offer to run a oneshot so they can have a break. The possibilities for helping your DM in these little ways are kind of endless, and can be done any way, not necessarily in ways related to DnD.

Talk with your DM before executing a concept, and be willing to work with them to develop it. I love weird character concepts, whether it’s weird in a flavor way, or weird in a mechanical way, I love it, and I’m sure a lot of other DMs would agree. That said, don’t just go ahead and have a character who is the result of this bizarre concept without consulting the DM. Make sure you talk with the DM first and are willing to find a way to make it work in the setting, before you go and execute your plan. And this might mean you’ll have to let go of some parts of the concept, which is fine, because the DM knows what will work best in their world. If you have an aspect of the character you want to translate as a mechanic in-game, such as a phobia or trauma, you can work with the DM to establish the trigger for the mechanic (for example, a Wisdom saving throw whenever a fire spell from the character lands the killing blow), and then the DM would determine things like the DC and what happens based on discussions between them and the player if the DC is not met. A lot of DMs I know (myself included) are usually very open to this kind of discussion with players, and are willing to, if you bring us a concept, work with the player to develop it so it fits the world a bit more.

Tell your DM everything about your character, and stick to what you tel them. Okay, maybe don’t tell them everything, but do give them as detailed a backstory as you can, as well as any goals or NPCs that you might bring up. The DM is the only one at the table who should have everybody’s secrets and everybody’s histories. This makes it easy on the DM when they’re building a session so they can include threads to a backstory or when you, the player, want to make a decision that would be considered out of character, but can be completely justified by backstory. If you don’t have your Uncle Legolas, Prince of the Wood Elves included in your significant NPCs, and you just pull him out of thin air, you should maybe talk with the DM about that first, just to make sure it’s okay.

Don’t be a backseat DM. Unless you are a DM yourself and the DM asks for your opinion on a ruling, or asks for advice explicitly, don’t tell the DM what you would do or how you would rule it. All DMs have different rules for different things, and it’s important to respect that it’s how they’re comfortable running their game. It’s exhausting to try and run an adventure and someone is constantly telling you that you shouldn’t have made them roll for this or that, or that this roll shouldn’t work that way.

Trust the DM. I know we all like to joke that the DM is out to kill us, and it’s a funny joke…the first few times. Every DM is different, but most DMs won’t put the party too far out of their depth- they’re not out to cause a TPK. Is a TPK a risk? Of course. There’s nothing in DnD that is done without risk, and that is part of what makes the game great. The DM wants to help you guys tell a great story, and no one likes to deal with a TPK or even a single character death, but on the other hand, it’s not something you can expect to be easy to recover from. It’s not easy for the DM either- they want the players to succeed, want good to triumph over evil, etc- but they are in the position of having to walk the line of making it fun and making it a challenge.

Don’t speak when your DM is speaking. I see this a lot in games, and it’s a bit upsetting, really. I have a friend who is a fantastic DM, their descriptions are so vivd, their NPCs are wonderful, and their entire world is absolutely enthralling, but when I dropped in on their campaign last year, I noticed a lot of times, players would interrupt with a description. I understand that some people want to skip straight to the action- who cares what the villain’s lair looks like, I want to hit them with a sword- but when you have these DMs who put so much thought into certain details and you go and interrupt them, that’s just rude. It’s like having someone describe this incredibly intricate wedding cake but you don’t care so you dig right in and have no time to appreciate the flavors that had to come together to make this, or the technique of the piping, etc.

Don’t blame the DM when you forget things. I’ve seen this one a few times as well, where a player has an ability or feature that they’ve had for a while, and they don’t use it or don’t know they have it because they didn’t write it down, but the blame falls to the DM. There are a lot of things to keep track of in DnD, but it’s not the DM’s fault if you forget you have Sneak Attack or that when you Rage you only take half damage. It’s not the DM’s fault to tell you that you have this ability or that feature, and they’re under no obligation to fix anything that might have been affected by your negligence.

Something that I know isn’t common, but I am still going to address, is the presence of spectators at DnD sessions. These people are maybe friends of the DM or players, a player or the DM’s significant other, or any variation thereof. They have been invited into this space to watch the story unfold, and sometimes, it’s important to remember a few things when you are spectating.

Be respectful. Being a spectator is a privilege, and so it falls to you to be respectful of any rules that exist within the playing space. If the DM asks you not to talk while they’re playing, or not to stand behind their DM screen, peering over their shoulder, you listen. You don’t make phone calls in the space, you go outside. If you need to listen to music, you use headphones. Basically a lot of common decency things, because you are a guest in that space, and that’s important to remember.

The snacks at the table are for the players- don’t eat them without permission, or without contributing some yourself. This is an issue that’s come up a few times, where we have a guest spectating and they just abduct our entire bag of popcorn to the sofa where they’re watching from, without contributing anything to the table themselves. This is kind of a rude thing to do, because if you are spectating, you are a guest, and the food is not laid out for you. If you contribute, however, taking snacks from the table is slightly more okay, so long as you aren’t disruptive or distracting.

Don’t distract the players or DM. This one kind of explains itself, really. Don’t chime in with every little comment on everything, don’t sit on the floor by your significant other or do anything that pulls the players and DM away from the game.

The issue of spectators is a bit more complex than I lay out here, but those are definitely key points I can offer to anyone spectating.

There’s a few miscellaneous points as well, mostly to do with things like snacks, and player conflict, and the like, but what I’ve mentioned here are several important etiquette things that I’ve encountered with my experience playing DnD. If folks want me to go more in-depth with a certain point, I would be more than happy to, but this post is long enough as it is.

#yashas strong arms #sarah talks dnd #it's long again and i hope this answers your question!#dnd tag #okay to reblog #dnd etiquette #d&d tag

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ghostliied · 6 years ago

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i honestly like you and think you would make a good friend except that the constant complaining about getting no attention is so intimidating and discouraging and exhausting. if we became friends would i have to constantly reassure you that you're liked and your stuff is good? or would i always feel not good enough and like it's my job to make sure you don't delete because you feel like nobody cares anyway?

Hi Anon. Before I even remotely begin to attack you, (as I believe as a human I should), I will ask you this. Are you happy? Does it make you feel better that you got it off your chest? Yes?

Well, here, let me tell you how pathetic and how much of a inconsiderate coward you are. But before I begin with even that. I want you to unfollow me. Block me. and if not. Well you know what, fine by me. But message me again on anon I’m going to ask somebody to log onto this blog to deal with you.

I really REALLY, did not fucking deserve to read this. Not like this. Not how you said it.

And I will tell you why.

Feel free to read. Or not. I don’t care. But this is going to be a psa for anybody else who wants to read anyway.

But I’m not going to make this dash suffer. I’ll put a read more. tag the triggers. and tell you of the warnings beforehand.

But before I do, please do fucking tell me. Are we mutuals? Do I follow you? Cause if I do. I don’t want to follow you. I don’t even care if I admire you at this point. I dont want to follow and admire somebody who says this. I dont even care if you have social anxiety or what have you. I did not deserve this.

TW: drama, hate, unpopular opinion, swearing, caps lock.

First of all. Fuck you. You’re an asshole.

If you liked me, then you would wouldn’t have said this. Not like this. and definitely not under anon.

another thing. If you like me. THEN YOU WOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS WRONG AND

IS A FUCKING ASSUMPTION.

Get the fuck out with your shitty assumptions.

I have an open communication policy for all of my FOLLOWERS. Not just mutuals. Do I have a preference over mutuals? yes. Of course I do. But that does not mean i ignore people. I have honestly never ever fucking done that and will continue TO NOT DO THAT. I dont even ignore the people I blacklist let alone try to cut off from my life. Do I stop talking to them? yea. But I dont fucking blatantly ignore people. even if they are assholes.

No you don’t like me. And if we were friends IF WE WERE FRIENDS

You wouldn’t have to hear about complaining or whining or bitching. Are you in a server of mine? Am I in yours? Yes? No? maybe? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!!!! well. YOU DO APPARENTLY. cause you sent the fucking ask like a shitty coward.

No, we wouldn’t be friends. Why would I want somebody like that.

Another thing. And you can ask anybody who talks to me. I don’t actively seek attention. I never EVER ask for reassurance. Now. Did I just go and show and tell two friends about you and what you said? Oh of course. why two friends and not like lets say other people I talk about? Because i only ever (semi)fully explained and ranted to two people about this issue and those two people only. Like I have people I talk to. I have talked to many people about our muses. I could name them right now honestly. but from all of those people. There are not many people that I go and physically go to and ask for help. I dont. That’s not who I am. I don’t complain and whine to a lot of people. I fangirl and scream happily to other people.

But I never ever EVER bring negativity to my friends’ dms unless i trust them and/or explicitly ask them if i can rant to them.

Why? because THAT IS WHO I AM. I chose to suffer in silence.

I dont have many irl friends. Especially not thought that I can trust to cry about. No. I have always been strong for others. Both irl and online. I can tell you the poeple who i trust enough to actually cry and be depressed to. And I can tell you that they can all be listed on one hand. But I can also tell you that even then. EVEN THEN I don’t tell them about even my WORST emotions that I have.

I would tell you right now, but naw, you dont fucking deserve that. If I said it I would say ONLY to tell my followers. and maybe thats what you all need to fucking realise. That I’m fucking human. I’m not perfect. And behind this fucking computer I have to deal with the emotional struggle and abuse EVERY. SINGLE DAY. And I have been since high school.

I have a chronic cough from the stress I put myself through. because I internlise everything. and you think that me ‘crying’ about getting no attention is intimidating? well jesus fucking christ if thats the case then I cant even imagine how you would feel if I listed everything that has ever happened to me. No but that’s in the past. If I even tell you what stuggle I have to deal with RIGHT NOW, you would be like ‘shit man, okay maybe it’s not so bad that you’re complaining.’

I don’t go and look for professional help. I should but I can’t. I dont have the money.

But that’s not the fucking point now is it. Oh fuck no. ITS FUCKING NOT.

the PROBLEM IS THAT YOU FUCKING CAME TO MY INBOX. YOU CAME TO MY INBOX ON ANON. like the fucking coward you are. IT wouldn’t have been a problem if you came to me as a human. No. I have to post tis publically for everybody to see because thats waht YOU did. and was even more terrifying is that I have a second anon asking about an IC thing and it makes me NOT want to answer it BECAUSE I feel like its you. But I know better. and I will happily take that other ask cause its a HC ask and I want to get to that. But no, I wont today BECAUSE OF YOU.

mOVING THE FUCK ALONG IN THIS HATE FUELED REPLY.

You think i would be good friend? You think? Lmao. LMAOOO Alright. Well feel free to ask the people i DO interact with and talk to. Anybody who is my friend would tell you that i AM a good friend. I mean well for those i care about and i put my heart in my sleeve for them. And honestly anybody who IS my friend has seen that i DO put in the effort to be active FOR them. You may not even see if cause i dont post it. But for my friends?? I give them content they deserve. I talk to somebody every single day about our muses. If you fucking asked me how much ive devoloped and plotted. I would give you 30 pages of shit for A SINGLE AU thay ive talked about.

I send asks to the people i care about. I also send asks every now and again to those who i dont talk to cause yea i do know what it feels like to not get asks. I may not be fucking active here. But its not that im not active. Its just that i see no motivation in it.

Its a fucking hassle and chore to refresh my dash to see nothing happening. Ive opened my ims and inbox for anybody to plot. Ive gone to countless people okay?? And I go to them to ask to send things or to reply to something. And okay i fucking get it. We are all busy.

Sometimes it takes a while to respond. But that’s not why I’m fucking angry.

THATS NOT WHY IM PISSED.

When i fucking write for hours upon hours headcanons, drabbles, answers and asks. Just those alone. And to see that NOBODY says anything about it?

Somebody once told me. We are reciprocal creatures at heart. And even if we say we dont expect much response. It feels good to get a reaponse. Its nice to see that people are reading what you write and reacting to the things you make.

And holy shit there is only ONE person that i know of that actually reacts to what i post. Wait i take that back. I have TWO PEOPLE that react to what i post. That react to 90 percent of what i post. With an occasional third or fourth. But its THESE people that i talk to. That dint deserve me deleting my blog.

And its these people that will fucking tell you that i very rarely bitch and complain about not being wanted. Because it is THESE people that i spend my days plotting and going on about what if intereactions.

If you really wanted to know me and be my friend. You would realise that i simply just want to talk about my muses. I AM NOT ONE FOR SMALL TALK. Talking about feelings is hard for me.

Why I dont personally understand is HOW CAN A FEMALE OC LIKE MIMI GET BLATANTLY IGNORED. AND YET WHEN I GO TO A MALE MUSE??? EVERYBODY?? WANTS TO??? FUCKING??? INTERACT???

that’s not fucking fair. And if you honestly wanted to understand my point you wouldn’t come to be like the shitty little coward you are right now. You would ask why I feel that way. Why ANYBODY would feel that way. But naw. You directly attack me. I showed some friends this ask cause I was visibly upset and one of them literally said:

That is not how you address this issue.

If we became friends. IF WE FUCKING BECAME FRIENDS??

yOU WOULDN’T??? HAVE TO??? REASSURE ME OF ANYTHING????

what fucking drugs are you high on?Get the fuck out of here.

Any person who fucking knows me would know that i ALWAYS fucking PUT MYSELF OUT THERE FOR THEM. I have time and TIME AGAIN run to those who were upset and down.

Get this fucking in your head right now anon.

I AM THE FUCKING ONE TO REASSURE PEOPLE.I DON’T LOOK OR ACTIVELY SEEK OUT REASSURANCE.

I already get my validation from the people I fucking care about. I got my validation yesterday when my submission was published. I get my validation from my FRIEND ON FUCKING DISCORD WHEN SHE MESSESGES ME EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Holy fucking shit I GOT MY VALIDATION THE DAY I MADE THIS FUCKING!!!! BLOG!!!! FROM A VETERAN OF THE RPC!!!!

I don’t need your fucking validation for fucking shit.

But again not the point.

and not the fucking point as to why I even remotely posted ANYTHING about how nobody pays attention to me.

But you know what. Here is my fucking 2 cents on this. I believe that a majority of the Pokemon RPC doesn’t give a damn about me BECAUSE NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING TO ME OTHERWISE.

Again I’m not talking about everybody. IM TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING COMMUNITY.

And I really REALLY don’t need to bring up names to fucking bring my case to point. it’s just fucking FACT.

Me as a mun? honestly I don’t give a damn. Sometimes I kinda wish to remain anonymous or aloof. But Mimi? cause thats the point of me ever bringing up anything anyway?? Mimi????

She gets very VERY little traction. Course there’s a few interactions here and there. But I cannot say that I can ACTIVELY post some quality IC shit or HC shit every day CAUSE AGAIN i DON’T SEE ANY FUCKING POINT.

A psa that I reblooged so fast one time furhter proves my point.

I will link it here for your pathetic and lazy ass if you want.

don’t wanna click then here. allow me to EMPHASISE ON WHAT WAS SAID.

the way the rpc treats female muses & female ocs is DISGUSTING.

allow me to repeat it if I havent made it obvious.

the way the rpc treats female muses & female ocs is

D I S G U S T I N G.

THATS why i fucking posted anything.

I didn’t post to make people feel sorry for me. I made it a post to show you HOW FRUSTRATED I AM WITH THE FUCKING SHITTY COMMUNITY.

And allow me to reiterate. Its not the people in the community. IT IS THE FUCKING COMMUNITY IN GENERAL. It is what we make the community.

And honestly im not trying to fucking attack anybody here. I just cannot stand what the RPC fucking is right now.

And the fact that I’m pulling AT FUCKING TEETH to get any interaction is sad.

I don’t try to make myself fucking intimidating.

I said this to a friend as a rant this morning BEFORE YOU FUCKING SHOWED UP IN MY FUCKING INBOX. and I TOLD them i was ranting i wasn’t expecting anything aside from them to listen because i had to get it off my fucking chest.

dilectam Today at 09:59

so. can you tell me what the fuck im doig wrong then??? like people and their sorry fucking asses are like oh we are picky with OCs they have to be well developed and have a backstory and blah blah blah or something like I dont fllow or interact with OCs that have very little info on them and yet WHEN I FUCKING POST AND WRITE AND YELL ABOUT THIS FUCKING BITCH NOBODY LITERALLY NOBODY (except for like you and [redacted]) FUCKING SENDS ME ANYTHING. ITS LIKE I AM FUCKING TRYING TO PULL OUT TEETH WHEVER I REBLOG A MEME. I haven't gotten any asks iN WEEKS. like look at my fucking inbox.

[image of the THEN empty inbox]

NOTHING IVE BEEN STARING AT IT FOR DAYSnot done

dilectam Today at 10:00

And then when i go to try to do replies, which, of course i have some, I CANT FUCKING PULL OUT THE FUCKING MUSE CAUSE A: THE THREAD HAS BEEN FESTERING AND ITS OLDB: THE THREAD IS LONG AND I DONT WANT TO REPLY TO A LONG REPLY CAUSE HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM BURNT OUT I CANT WRITE.but no. I send asks. I send memes. I do dash comms. I do start calls. I do inbox calls. like

IshouldnotfuckingbebeggingTO GET FUCKING INTERACTIONS.

and then to make matters worse. [REDACTED BECAUSE PERSONAL INFO THAT IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING SHARE WITH YOU]. and when i WHEN I ASKED PEOPLE if i should do commissions you know what happened? nothing. just you liking it. I DIDNT FUCKING ASK IF I SHOULD DO FUCKING COMMISSIONS CAUSE ITS FUN. i hate asking people for money. I want to draw whenever i want for my friends whenever i want without taking their money.but no i get no replies.

and thenAND THENt make fucking matters worse.CAUSE IT GETS WORSE.

Mimi's birthday is coming up soon. and im honestly fucking terrified. I'm kinda starting to cry now about it. [redacted] I'm terrified that her birthday is gonna come and its gonna be like what happened on MY brithday even though i posted about it

I get fucking one ask that wishes her a happy birf.

I'm tired. like I have considered of deleted. not leaving. ACTUALLY DELETING the blog cause likeits fucking depressing and pathetic

sorry i'll stop now but i feel so undervalued and underapprciated i feel like I've i disappeared again, nobody would fcking message me or ask

wanna know why i fucking ranted? because f THIS FUCKING PICTURE.

What is this picture? THIS PICTURE REPRESENTS JUST THE HEADCANONS I HAVE FOR THIS BLOG that ARE LOCATED HERE.

27 pages.

single spaced

times new roman

font 12

wanna know who actually read them?

well aside from many of them having 0 notes.

THE SAME 3-5 PEOPLE LIKED THEM.

which honestly is fine. I don’t mind. But what I am not fucking comfortable with is the fact that aside from those people (only 2 of which i actively either ploit or interact with IC) I have nothing going for me. NOTHING.

Nobody comes in to ask about headcanons.

Nobody fucking asks about why mimi did what she did.

nobody even bothers with me.

and I say nobody losely because OF THE PEOPLE WHO ACTIVELY POST, THE PEOPLE SENDING ME THINGS ARE ACTUALLY PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ACTIVE.

holy fucking shit its a plot twist.

Hahahaha fuck you anon.

Another thing. If you knew me.

You know know i never EVER fucking delete. Even the blog where shit happened last year, I just abandoned. Why the fuck would I delete 27+ pages of good quality content. Nevermind the bio. the bio alone is 14 pages.

But you had the NERVE to fucking say that youre scared of me deleting??? like its assholes like you that make me want to delete.

and honey. I would never say you’re not good enough. just talking to me about our muses is all i fucking ask. if anything YOU find yourself not good enough. and that’s fucking sad. because if I knew who you were. like if you actually took the time to sit down with me to talk to me like a human. You would realise that you are more than enough.

Another thing before I fucking end this rant. cause I jsut randomly got SUPER FUCKING ANGRY AGAIN.

You would have never sent this to my other 2 blogs. why? Because I wouldn’t have posted it on the other blogs. BECAUSE I DONT FIND THIS PROBLEM ON MY OTHER BLOGS. why? because they are both male blogs.

So get your misogynist ass out of here. Fucking trash.

#( ✦ — a shadow force ; anon )#tw everything #drama tw #negativity tw #unpopular opinion #caps lock tw #foul language tw #honesrtly i am so sorry guys but I had to #since my first reaction was speechless sobbing #and then the next reaction was ANGER FROM HELL #long post

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dykedykegooses · 7 years ago

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i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

#grabsthesun #lesbian ask game #i love and hate you

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christplays · 7 years ago

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The Last Green Straw

November 18th, 2016. Approx. 6:30 am:

“I want you to stay back here and bring all this trash to the dumpster. Then make a list of everything else we just talked about, and don’t go back on the floor today until it’s done.”

Those were the words, spoken to me by my boss, that I considered the last straw. There was a lot that led up to that breaking point. I pondered it all while running the trash, knowing that my team needed me on the floor, and that by direct orders from my boss I was not to go help them during the busiest part of the day. I saw her drive off. After throwing the last few boxes in the dumpster, I called her cell, gave my notice, and then went up to work the floor with my team. This is the story of how I got to this point.

I had started as a store manager in March of that year. Baton Rouge was not necessarily where I had envisioned ending up. I had been an assistant store manager in Houma and Lafayette for the 10 months prior. In February of 2016, I was told that I was ready to be promoted, that there was an opening in Baton Rouge, and that if I didn’t apply for it, it would be “bad for my career.” I reacted very adversely to having that sprung on me so suddenly. I knew that the time was coming soon that I would need to move on up, but this really caught me off guard. My boss and I were having regular discussions about my progress throughout my time as an ASM, and we always discussed allowing me time to really practice running the store I was at in Lafayette before moving on. This hadn’t happened yet, so when she suddenly told me over the phone one day, “You’re ready to have your own store, there’s an opening in Baton Rouge, you need to apply,” it really felt like it came out of nowhere. And I didn’t feel ready at all.

I put up a fight at first. I kept saying, “I don’t feel ready. This isn’t what we’ve been discussing for the past few months. And I really don’t appreciate the thinly-veiled threats to my career.” I didn’t hold back in making all those feelings known. But eventually, I gave in. I didn’t like it, but I made the decision to try to embrace it and make the best of it. I didn’t know where all this was coming from, but my boss in Lafayette was someone who I not only trusted, but also admired and respected. I felt I owed so much of my career development to her, and realized that she was likely under pressure from her own boss to help fill a position in another district. I had worked for her for four years by that point, and she always had my back, and always made her best effort to do the right thing for her employees. To this day and always, I appreciate her for that and I credit her for so much in my professional and personal growth over the years.

Unfortunately, the same would not turn out to be true in Baton Rouge. New city, new district, new boss. And boy were things different! I won’t get into all the details here, as I want to focus in on precisely the chain of events that pertained to my eventual resignation. If there’s one starting point for that chain of events, it would have to be the infamous 2016 Summer Labor Crisis.

If you ask the people at Starbucks corporate headquarters in Seattle, they will tell you that staffing in our stores is performed by the store managers. Thus, if there are staffing issues, it’s not a company-wide issue caused by any action or communication from Seattle. Rather, it is isolated issues at individual stores. That is a convenient spin on things for them, but the problem is that it’s just not true. Staffing at Starbucks stores is largely performed by computer software. There is software that tells you how many people you should have on staff at your individual store. There is software that projects how much business you are projected to have, each week, each day, and even each 15-minute increment. There is software that tells you how many people you should have on the payroll during each of those 15-minute increments. And there is software that tells you, after the fact, based on the business you actually had, whether or not you earned the payroll that you gave.

The company will refer to all of this software as “tools” to help the store manager make good staffing decisions. In actuality, the software is essentially one of your bosses. It tells you what to staff, and you either follow it or face reprimand from your DM. Meanwhile, the people in Seattle, many of whom have never donned a green apron a day in their lives, are the ones controlling the software! And if they decide some adjustments need to be made to trim payroll so that the company can hit some of its financial metrics for the quarter, they can and will do so. So then, out of the blue, your normal staffing levels are showing up on the software as “overstaffing,” and you have to cut staffing or, again, face severe reprimand from your DM. And the store managers get blamed for causing the situation in the first place because they weren’t “using the tools.” And at the same time, on the other side of its mouth, the company will deny there’s a problem at all.

Talk about mixed messages. Seriously, in the course of a few weeks last June, I was told by my DM that the reason we were having to cut labor was because we store managers hadn’t been using our staffing tools correctly and had been overstaffing for months and now the company has to understaff for awhile to compensate. And yet, the same DM also denied on many occasions before and after that there was any labor cuts coming from the company at all. And at the same time, a Seattle exec. is sending internal communications about “perceived labor cuts,” implying that the hundreds of partners complaining about this on the Partner Hub are just imagining things. And at the same time, my Regional Director is admitting, “Yes, I do believe that the company changed the labor metrics.” ?????????????????????????????????????????????

That conversation with the Regional Director was a pivotal point for me. To her credit, it seems to me that she was more candid than anyone else was being at the time. She said, I think in sincerity, “I truly believe that Starbucks is a great company and we do a lot of great things for our partners, but sometimes we have to feed the beast.” And I recall telling her right then and there, “Well, I’m going to have to think long and hard about whether that’s something I can be a part of.”

Turns out, there wouldn’t be a whole lot of time for thinking long and hard about anything. I was working 70-80 hours per week on average. Most of that on the floor, just helping with coverage. That was the expectation for store managers at the time. And I don’t mean just an implied expectation. I mean explicitly stated. “If you’re that concerned with staffing at your store, then you should be in there working.” Not that I ever had an issue with long hours in principle, as an occasional necessity, or even a frequent necessity while I was still getting my feet wet as a manager. Often enough, the long hours were a consequence of my own mistakes and my own lack of efficiency, and I had no problem owning that. But when the direction comes from above, “Cut hours from your part-time employees, and then you, as a salaried manager, should go in to help with the staffing, since we don’t have to pay you anything beyond your 40 hours,” I have a problem with that. And honestly, by that point, I had probably officially put myself on my boss’s shitlist because I told her directly that though I would be as lean as I realistically could, I would not understaff my store to the extent that she wanted me to. “If you’re store is overstaffed this week, it could be career-altering.” “If that’s the case, then so be it,” I said, “but I’m not going to cut 50 hours from my baristas in one weekend.” I would find out in a conversation weeks later that she somehow interpreted that as me saying that I wouldn’t even try. I don’t know how she got that from what I said, but I think that our relationship just wasn’t ever the same after that. I think that once she saw me as someone willing to be blatantly subordinate, she just saw me differently.

I was also seeing many things differently by this point. I was seeing my boss differently, and I was seeing the company differently. For years I had essentially been a poster child for Starbucks. I loved the people I worked with (and still do). I loved the company mission and values, their ethical sourcing practices, their culture of passion for coffee. I kept getting more and more into it as the years went by. Coffee Master, Barista Champion, Store Manager. I was an ambassador. People that knew me during that time must’ve had the impression that Starbucks was just the greatest employer in the world, because I talked about it so often and so enthusiastically. And it was 100% sincere. And there are some things that I still view the same way I always did. But I also got a view of the dark side. I don’t just mean that I saw that the company had its faults. I always knew that, of course. I wasn’t so naïve to think that it was perfect. But in seeing how quickly and easily the company resorted to taking money out of the pockets of its own employees before they would ever risk disappointing their stockholders, I began to see that my heart could probably never be in it again in the same way that it was before. I saw them lie about it, cover it up, and I knew that in similar circumstances, it would always play out that way. “New ways to grow our company,” is the Value above all values, and everything else would be sacrificed before that one.

Fast forward to August and the floods. I don’t want to talk about this in detail because many people lost their homes and all of their possessions, and I wouldn’t trivialize that by putting my little work problems into that context. The one thing I need to mention here is that it did cause a sudden and dramatic spike in my store’s business. The only store in our area that had to close for an extended time was the one closest to us along the Interstate. So we absorbed many of their customers, and our traffic went up by about 25% overnight. Odd as it may sound, there are some ways in which I actually felt re-energized by this. It presented some challenges to be sure, especially with inventory, but I honestly had the most amazing team at my store. They persevered, they worked hard, and they made me proud with how well they adjusted. Throughout it all, our store continued to maintain the best drive-thru times in our district. We were also consistently in the top 2 or 3 stores in food sales, in the top tier for customer feedback, and the top store by far for sales comps over previous year.

When it came to my relationship with my boss, things just continued to deteriorate. I could see the writing on the wall. On our weekly district conference calls with all the store managers, she seemed more and more reluctant to recognize any of my team’s accomplishments. If we were trying to focus on a particular metric to improve in as a district, and other stores were doing well, she would recognize the store manager during the call and ask about what they were doing to drive results. If my store happened to be the one doing well that week, then it just wasn’t on the agenda.

I got a surprising confidence boost in September, though as high as that peak was, the valley that followed was much deeper. What happened was, there was a new federal law that was going into effect by the end of the year. The law was changing the threshold at which salaried employees could legally be exempt for being paid for overtime, and it was going up quite significantly. Previously, a salaried employee had to be paid at least $41,000 annually in order to not be compensated for hours worked beyond 40. Under the new law, that number was raised to $48,500. So we were all getting major raises!

I don’t know if it was a company-wide thing or just my boss’s thing, but someone decided it would be best to discuss this government-mandated raise in the same conversation as our performance reviews. So, when I was notified of this raise in September, it was all discussed in the context of rewards for performance. I knew about the law, but I still kinda took the bait of linking the raise to my boss’s view of how I was doing as a store manager. I was really on a high because I started to think, “Wow, maybe things aren’t as bad as I thought. Maybe she’s seeing the results in my store and changing her tune a little bit.” I was terribly mistaken and wouldn’t it realize until the following month.

Just a few weeks later, after the confidence-boosting “performance and rewards” conversation, with nothing in the meantime that would have indicated anything different, my boss shows up at my store unannounced. She asks if we can sit and talk. She pulls a folder out of her bag, and out of the folder comes a document: one page, type-written, filled with text on one side and a little on the back side. This is where we have the “real” performance conversation. She gives me a copy. “This is documentation for the conversation we’re having today. It’s an outline of some of the things that must improve in the next 30 days.”

It’s structured in the terms of the company mission and values and success profiles. “Ken has demonstrated a failure to Help Others Succeed by actions a, b, and c, and in the next 30 days he must do x, y, and z.” “Ken has demonstrated a failure to Live the Mission and Values by actions a, b, and c, and in the next 30 days he must do x, y, and z.” And the list went on. Half the stuff on the list was stuff we had never had a single conversation about prior to that day. And she felt like it was good idea to talk about it all at once. I was astonished, blindsided, and insulted. I had lived the mission and values of the company for five years, and she didn’t know the first thing about it.

She also brought up a picture from my Instagram that I had posted of my sister and I going to an LSU game. Bear in mind, I had very little contact with friends or family since moving to Baton Rouge. Me doing anything social at all was extremely rare during this time. That week, my store had some inventory constraints from some delayed deliveries, so she felt I should’ve been spending that time driving to New Orleans to borrow product instead of spending time with my sister (even though the delivery problems were state-wide and most stores were experience product shortages). That really made it personal. If she felt I hadn’t done everything I could to address our inventory problems, that’s one thing. We could talk about that. But why did it matter precisely what I was doing during that evening? Why did she have to save that picture on her phone and show it to me during our meeting, like some kind of smoking gun? I wasn’t trying to hide anything.

Even through that, there was something in me that still wanted to press on. My old boss in Lafayette would always say to “give it at least a year.” There were two things that kept me going more than anything during that time: I didn’t want to disappoint my old boss, and I didn’t want to disappoint my team. I made up my mind to try harder, to work more hours, to dig in deeper. And it just seemed like my best efforts weren’t enough. For just one example, one of the things on the list was that I had 30 days to get our back room 100% to company standard. I hadn’t the first clue where to start. But I got a team of our baristas to work on it with me and we made some great strides. When I told my boss that we had made some strides that I was proud of and it was a big improvement, all she said was, “Is it 100% to standard?” My learning space had been yanked out from beneath me. It had to be perfect or she didn’t care.

As we approached the end of the 30 days, with me feeling that for all my efforts, I had very little to show for it. I knew that I couldn’t even get through the 1-year mark. I felt like a failure, and a disappointment to everyone who had invested time in my development over the years. For the first time in my life, I felt isolated and lonely. I didn’t know anyone in Baton Rouge, and the extreme work hours prohibited me from doing much of anything to make connections. I felt wedged further and further away from my passion for coffee and for the things that I originally loved about Starbucks. I felt unvalued by my boss and by the company. And I just couldn’t stand that. It wasn’t worth it. I had just gotten that huge raise, and I was maxing out my bonus every quarter, and I could hardly care less. In 9 months, my boss never even got that about me. She was always trying to talk about pay and bonuses, and never understood that I took very little incentive from that. I would walk away from it in a heartbeat if I was unhappy with what I was doing.

I told her all of this around early November. I expressed that my preference would be to remain with the company as a barista. She asked if I was going to move back to Lafayette, and I told her I was planning to when my apartment lease was up in March. She asked if I would be willing to stay in the managerial role until that time, which would allow for plenty of time to find a replacement and have a smooth transition. I was all for that. Though one comment that she made was a little curious. She talked about my staying until March as an opportunity to “get the store in better shape” for the next manager. So I told her that I was perfectly willing to stay in role during that time, but that I was a little concerned about what her expectations from me were. What exactly was it that she was expecting me to accomplish in the next 4 months, that I wasn’t able to accomplish in the previous 8? I don’t even recall what her response to that question was, but we had an agreement.

There wasn’t much time to think about all of that anyway. Business was still booming as it was since the floods, and the next week we had to do the new set for holiday. This would be a “dark set,” meaning it all gets done during off hours. The store manager and a team of 4 or 5 baristas start doing the set immediately after close (9 pm for our store) and it’s supposed to take about 4 hours or so. This was my first time doing such a thing, and admittedly it’s not my forte. We were there past 2 am and there was still some parts undone, but I couldn’t stay by myself and my team needed to go home. So we were going to have to find time later in the week to finish. It seemed like fairly minor stuff to me, stuff that would make very little, if any, impact on our sales or presentation in our store.

She didn’t feel the same way. A few days later she visited the store, saw the stuff that hadn’t been completed, and was furious. I had an opening shift that day, which meant I had been there since 4:30 am. It was about noon when she came in, and as soon as I saw her, I realized it was going to be a long day. I got off the floor at 2 and she immediately started barking orders for things we needed to do to complete the set. She kept asking condescending questions about “What were y’all doing the night of the set?” and “Which part did you find to be the hardest?” as though we must’ve just been there goofing off the whole time.

She told me she had an interview meeting her there at 4pm. When her interviewee got there, she gave me a few more instructions for things to finish. I did what she asked, and finished around 4:30pm. I had been there for 12 hours. I didn’t want to interrupt her interview and I was kinda ticked at her, so I went home. She called me when her interview was done, but I just wasn’t in the mood to talk at that moment. I was going to call her later in the evening. I got home, ate dinner, and fell asleep on my couch in short order. Woke up around 10 pm, saw that she had called again at some point, and then retired to my bed since I had to be back at work for 6 am.

November 18th, 2016:

I get to work a little before 6 am, and as I walk to the backroom, I see it’s completely transformed. Everything is rearranged and organized immaculately. I had never seen any Starbucks backroom look that good, certainly not ours. “Geez. How late was she here that she did all this?” She popped in around 6:10 and started chewing me out immediately: “What happened to you yesterday? I thought we were going to finish the set together?”

“I’m sorry, I honestly thought we were done. I had been here for 12 hours, you were in your interview, so I went home.”

“Well do you notice anything different?”

“Yeah it looks amazing back here, how late did you stay?”

“I was here until 9.”

“I started at 4:30 am yesterday. Had I stayed with you, it would’ve been a 17 hour day. This is what I’m trying to tell you I can’t keep doing all the way through March.

“You want to know how many hours I work?” was her only response. She would later try to tell me that she never would have asked me to stay that late, but I don’t buy it.

We went outside to see the piles of boxes from all the stuff she had unpacked from our truck the day before. She ran through a list of things she wanted me to do to finish up Project Back Room that she had started. She instructed me: “I want you to stay back here and bring all this trash to the dumpster. Then make a list of everything else we just talked about, and don’t go back on the floor today until it’s done.” That was the last (green) straw. I told her I felt like she humiliated me in front of my entire team, that I couldn’t keep doing this for another 4 months, and that I would like to resign after I finished training the new shift supervisor I had just hired. My last day would be December 11th.

I still wanted to remain with the company for awhile as a barista. I had no car, so I could continue working at my current store, or I could work at either of the 2 locations that were within a reasonable commute of the public transit. She insisted that I could only work at the College Dr. location, which of all the stores in Baton Rouge, was the farthest away from where I live. Getting there by bus would require transfers and 90 minutes of commute time each way, if everything was running on time. Commuting by Uber would cost me almost $30 a day. She wouldn’t budge, saying that the other locations were overstaffed. So that was it. December 11th would be my last day not just as a manager but as a Starbucks partner.

I didn’t expect anyone to beg me to stay, but it really was a punch in the gut how non-chalantly it was handled. No exit interview. No attempt at retention. I expressed a strong desire to stay with the company, and they essentially said, “Nah, you can go.”

I spent a lot of time disappointed, angry, bitter, sad. Questioning whether I made good decisions. Questioning if the fault belonged squarely on my shoulders. Questioning if I was just an idiot for walking away from a job that paid well and a company I had loved for so long. Scared to even reach out to my old bosses and co-workers in Lafayette. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone telling me I was screwing up and to rethink things, because I just felt so far beyond the point of rethinking. I felt chewed up and spit out. I didn’t like being spit out, but I didn’t want anyone telling me to go back in to get chewed up again either.

When things don’t go according to plan, sometimes things happen that are better than what you planned. And sometimes you even come up with better plans. My time at Starbucks was great for its time, and I am grateful for all the good that came from it. I’m proud of what I accomplished and the legacy that I left. I was passionate and heartfelt in what I did, and I know that it rubbed off on a few people along the way, and that means a lot to me.

I hope that the people I love that are still partners continue to Simplify, to follow that True North, and to present coffee in a way that honors the work of the farmers all over the world and that honors the craft of the barista. For baristas everywhere, Starbucks or otherwise, I will still be a champion.

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