#also on the list for the week are Speak Now (Taylor's Version) and Who By Fire and Ruins and The Lion's Roar and The Big Black And The Blue

[queer-cosette]

god I fucking love vinyl records it's like you own a copy of the song that the internet can't take away and it also looks pretty as fuck when you're storing it and also when you're playing it and there's no adverts and they come in cool colours too

[marie-swriting]

Confession Of Love - Jake "Hangman" Seresin [1/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You've been seeing Jake for four months but you're still not officially dating. It's going to happen soon, though, right ?

Warnings : Jake is an asshole (it's not against him, I love him, I swear), angst, cheating, alcohol consumption (be careful with your alcohol consumption), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.7k

Song inspiration : Foolish One (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

you take the new arrival of books in the box next to you and put them in the correct shelves. You pay attention to place them in alphabetical order and sometimes, you take a look at the back cover, adding then a new book to your - long - to be read list. You set the last book of a saga in its place when a masculine voice comes behind you.

“Sorry, would you have a book on how to apologise after cancelling a date last minute ?”

“Jake !” you exclaim, taking him in your arms. “What are you doing here ?”

“I felt bad about yesterday. Those are for you.” he says, breaking the embrace and handing you a big bunch of red roses.

“Oh, thank you ! They’re beautiful.” you smile, pecking his lips, “But I already told you it was okay. You were tired because of your day at work, I get it. We can always plan something another time, like tonight for example. My shift ends at 6:30 P.M, you can come pick me up at seven.”

Hope can be heard in your voice on top of nervosity. Jake and you can’t see each other frequently because of his job as a naval aviator and he’s also often hanging out with his friends. You’re aware it’s normal for Jake and you to not spend every single day together though, two or three times a week would be a good start you think.

You look at him, waiting for his answer impatiently but as soon as you hear him sigh, you guess his answer. Even if you expected it, you can’t help but feel disappointed. 

“The problem is I already told my colleague I would spend the night with them.”

“It’s okay. You can send me a text when you’re free.” you affirm, forcing a little smile.

“Perfect. I’m not gonna bother you much longer. See you.” he says and kisses you.

You lovingly watch Jake leaving. Once he’s not in your line of sight anymore, you smell the roses and your disappointment leaves your body to let affection take over. It doesn’t matter if he wasn’t able to have some free time for you that night, he always makes sure to make it up to you like today. You stay in your bubble and walk in the direction of the backshop to put the flowers down. You find a container to put your roses in when your colleague Cora blows your bubble.

“Who gifted you those roses ?”

“Jake. They’re pretty, aren’t they ?”

“Wow, he must feel ashamed about a lot of things.” she comments, gazing at the flowers while you put them in the makeshift vase. 

“Not at all. Why do you say that ?”

“Like they always say, the bigger the bouquet, the bigger the guilt.”

“No one says that.” you state, frowning. 

“He cancelled again, didn’t he ?” she says, her question sounding more like an affirmation.

“He has a good reason.”

“I bet he does ! I don’t understand how you can still be with him. If my boyfriend was always cancelling dates, I-”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” you interrupt her, avoiding her gaze.

“What do you mean ?”

“We’re not really dating.” you inform and she gives you a look so you quickly add : “We’re taking things slow. Jake can be on a deployment any day so we don’t want too many strings attached.”

“Wait, you’re telling me you’ve been with a guy for more than four months, you go on dates, you kiss, you sleep at each other’s house but you’re not official ? He’s worse than I thought. I mean, Y/N, don’t forget about his reputation ! Jake doesn’t do serious relationship. And just to prove it to you, has he finally presented you to his friends ?” Cora asks and you stay silent. “That’s what I thought. Why are you still with him ? He’s going to break your heart just like Logan.”

“He’s different !” you say, angry by her words and the mention of your ex. “Look, you don’t know him and you know nothing about my relationship with Jake so stop giving me unsolicited advice. I’ve learned from my mistakes, I know what I’m doing.”

On that note, you pass by your colleague and go back to your work. While you keep reorganising the books, you can’t prevent yourself from thinking back to your conversation with Cora. You know she didn’t mean any harm but you’re annoyed by the way she thinks you’re too foolish to know how to handle your love life on your own. You’ve known men… stupid ones, to stay politically correct, however you know better now and Jake has proven to you he’s different from your exes. It’s not because he cancels a lot of dates that he’s a bad guy. He is a nice guy. You’re sure of it.

At the end of the day, you take back your roses and bid Cora goodbye without adding anything else, still pissed off by her words. Upon arriving at your place, you put the roses in a real vase and set it on your dinner table.

That night, you spend it alone eating, watching Pride And Prejudice. As you’re watching it, you can’t help but melt because of Mr.Darcy’s confession of love to Elizabeth. You’re waiting for the day where it’ll be your turn, the day where, like those cheesy romances you read, you will get your confession full of love by the love of your life. You know you look like a hopeless romantic but you grew up with this idea of great love stories where the man is perfect and you’ve been searching for him since your teenage years. Maybe Jake will be this man and he’ll confess his feelings to you soon. You like him a lot and you wish you could share the future you have in mind with him.

Once your movie is over, you take your phone and check your notifications. You haven’t received anything. Not a call, nor a message. You thought that maybe Jake would send you a text to tell you about his day or at least say some nice words but nothing. Radio silence. It should be a good sign he’s having fun with his friends and yet, you can’t stop yourself from thinking this silence sounds like some bad signs ; he doesn’t seem to miss you. Sure he’s with his friends, you know he’s not spending his night on his phone though, a text wouldn’t be too much ! With mixed feelings, you put down your phone and start watching another romantic movie.  

During the whole night, you keep checking your phone without any change. When you go to bed around midnight, you keep on sighing and your mind starts thinking back to your relationship with Jake and to doubt it. 

Once you’re laying down on your bed, you glance one last time at your phone and when you see nothing new, you groan and aggressively put your cellphone on your nightstand. You change position in your bed and try to fall asleep, in vain. You toss and turn and yet, you don’t seem to be comfortable enough and your mind who is currently overthinking doesn’t make things better. This lack of message from Jake hurts you more than you care to admit. One thing is certain, you won’t get your love confession tonight. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten ahead of yourself so much ? Maybe your relationship with Jake won’t last ? Maybe there was a little bit of truth in Cora’s words ? You shake your head, hoping to get rid of these voices who start to make you more puzzled. If you discuss it with Jake, surely the situation will get better. Right ?

At least, you feel like the situation gets better the following week. You haven’t really talked with Jake but you’ve been able to see each other more often. 

Today, you spend the afternoon together. You don’t do anything special. Jake just came to your apartment and you stay on the couch watching movies and talking about random things. 

Your head on his shoulder, you think you were right to trust Jake. When he has the time, he’s the perfect… boyfriend ? Partner ? Friend ? Whatever the word may be, he is perfect. You never argue and your conversation knows no awkward silence ; everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds. You even feel like you’re getting closer and closer to the moment where you’ll finally be official. You’ll finally be able to call him yours and you’ll be able to share more than some hours here and there with Jake. You can imagine a whole future with him, that’s why you want to believe so hard that what you have is something good, despite the particular circumstances. 

As soon as it’s getting late, Jake gets ready to go back to his house. From time to time, he stays to sleep at yours however when he has to wake up early the next day, he prefers to go home, his apartment being closer to his workplace. Once he’s set to go, Jake walks to the door while you follow him, tiredness visible on your face.

“Send me a message when you’ve arrived.” you say, yawning and Jake tenderly looks at you.

“I will.”

“Can we see each other next Saturday ?”

“I’ve already got something planned with my squad at the Hard Deck.”

“And do you think it’d bother them a lot if I came with you ?” you ask with a small voice before embarrassment catches you. “Sorry, it was rude. I shouldn’t have invited myself like that. It was stupid. I… Tell me when you get home. Good night.” you exclaim, ready to close the door but Jake stops you.

“It wasn’t stupid. Actually, I’ve been thinking of introducing you to them for a long time now.”

“Really ?”

“Sure. We’ve known each other for four months, it’s normal for you to meet them. I’ll pick you up and we’ll spend the whole evening together.” he states, putting his hands on your cheeks.

“Perfect.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Jake gives you a smile before pressing his lips on yours. Your kiss only lasts a few seconds and you enjoy it as much as possible, celebrating this new milestone in your relationship. You’re still not official, nonetheless he wants to introduce you to his friends, you’re on the right track. Once Jake breaks the kiss, he tenderly strokes your cheek before turning around and walking away. You watch him leave then close your door, a goofy smile on your face.

When you get to the Hard Deck, Jake’s arm around your waist the following Saturday, it’s not a goofy smile you have on your face anymore but a nervous one. You know Jake is close with his colleagues and you want to make a good impression. You hope with all your heart this moment will go well. For you, this is a key moment and you can’t allow yourself to make a wrong move.

As soon as you find the group of people wearing Khakis, except one man is wearing a Hawaiian shirt, your hands become a bit more clammy. Jake quickly introduces you to every member of his squadron and you do your best to remember their names. For now, you only know Natasha’s name, as she’s the only woman. Jake proposes something to drink and judging you need to relax, you ask for a beer. He kisses your cheek before going to the bar, leaving you alone.

“I can’t believe you’re real.” Natasha starts with eyes wide open. “When Bagman told us he wanted to present us to someone, I thought he was joking. I never thought he was the kind of guy to settle down and I have to admit, I’m surprised to see you can put up with him.”

“Once you get to know him, he lets the arrogance go and you realise he’s a nice guy.” you respond, laughing.

“Hangman said you two met four months ago, right ?” Bradley questions.

“Yes, at a café. I had just gotten my coffee when Jake bumped into me and, long story short, he offered me a new coffee with his number on the cup.”

“I see he still knows how to make a good first impression.” Natasha jokes. “What do you do in life ?”

“I work in a bookshop. I’m paid to be surrounded by books, I couldn’t have dreamed of anything better.”

“That’s so cool ! I should come sometime. I haven’t read a new book in a long time.” Bradley informs you and instantly, your eyes shimmers with excitement. 

“Oh ! I can give you recommendations if you want. What genre do you prefer ?”

Ensued then a conversation about your favourite topic : books. Bradley tells you some titles he likes, novels he’s been meaning to read for years and you listen to him with passion. You give him a whole list of authors and books to check out and he writes them down on his phone. Thinking you might have some other recommendations for him later, you ask him to give you his number. At the same time you’re saving his contact, Jake comes back to you and puts his arm around your shoulders.

“You’re not stealing her from me, aren’t you Bradshaw ?”

“We were talking about books, a subject you might not be familiar with.” Bradley retorts and Jake smirks.

“Oh no, she talks about it all the time. You haven’t finished getting new suggestions.” Jake says, faking desperation in his voice.

“Hey ! You’ve discovered good books thanks to me.” you defend.

“True. Anyway I’m going to play pool. You’re good here ?”

“Yeah, I am.”

Jake smiles at you before going to find his friend at the pool table. You stay with Bradley, Natasha and Bob, who just came next to you. You keep getting to know each other and you feel better, realising you don’t struggle to fit in - you’re not really the social butterfly, preferring your books more than people.

As the conversation goes on, you learn that Bradley is a good pianist and you ask to see him play. He doesn’t need to be asked twice and walk to the piano before playing Great Ball Of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis. Natasha, Bob and you sing with him and you’re quickly followed by the other people in the bar. Jake comes to you and sings by your side and sometimes he spins you around.

Once Bradley finishes the song, you laugh with your new friends, glad to realise you’re having a good time. Jake asks you if you want something else to drink and you inform him you haven’t finished your beer yet. He tells you he’s going to grab another drink, leaving you for a moment.

“Natasha wasn’t joking when she said you were an outstanding pianist ! Very good choice of song, by the way.” you compliment Bradley.

“It’s my favourite. My dad used to play it when I was a kid. I have good memories with this song and my parents.”

“I can see that. Your parents seemed to be cute together.”

When you talked earlier, Bradley quickly told you about his parents and you have to admit the way he speaks of their relationship, it looks like a story from one of your favourite books.

“They were !” Bradley confirms with nostalgia. “Maybe too much. I’d like a relationship like theirs.”

“I’m sure you will. You seem like an amazing guy. You deserve a love story as beautiful as theirs.”

“You too.”

Bradley smiles at you before talking about his pianist skills while you’re searching for Jake next to the bar. You expected to see him with a drink in hand, but it’s a vision of Jake with a woman who has her arms around his neck that you find. Your eyebrows furrowed, not knowing who this woman is and why she’s so close to your… to Jake. Jake gets rid of the woman’s arms then tells her something. He comes back to you at the same time where Bradley excuses himself to use the bathroom.

“Who was she ?” you question, not giving him the time to start a conversation.

“Who ?”

“The woman who was literally in your arms.”

“Oh, huh, I don’t know. She tried to flirt with me but I told her I was already in good company.” Jake explains with a flirty smile yet, you stay sceptical. “Y/N, I swear I don’t know her. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not. I’m curious, that’s all.” you lie.

Not fully convinced by your affirmation, Jake put his hands on your cheeks before leaning in and kissing you with passion. Even if you still have some doubt, Jake’s kiss helps you to calm down.

However, it’s really during the following weeks that you feel much better. Jake is being more present, casting away every doubt you have in mind. He’s managed to have some free time for you and you’ve even spent three days together, something never done before in your relationship. This time, you’re sure, everything is alright. Everything Cora told you or even everything you thought was fake. No matter what people say about Jake and his love life, you are the exception. Jake cares about you and he’s honest. Your relationship has a real future.

You’re so over the moon that you’re not as sad as usual when Jake tells you he can’t spend the evening at your place because he’s exhausted. You wish him a good rest before reading your book again. You’re in the middle of a chapter when you receive a message from your friend Laura who you haven’t seen in months. She asks you if you want to come to the bar next to her place. As you miss your friend, you accept without a second thought before getting ready. 

Once you arrive at the Scented Sky bar, you have a big smile on your face, impatient to meet Laura. Once you leave your car, your eyes find their way to a vehicle not too far away who looks like Jake’s. At first, you think it’s just a mere coincidence then you pay attention to the licence plate and recognize that it is Jake’s. Instantly, you frown. You don’t understand how he can be there when he told you he wanted to sleep, not to mention the fact this bar is far from his place. 

You keep searching for a rational explanation while you go to the bar. Before you walk through the door, you glance at the window and your eyes get teary at what you’re seeing. Jake did lie to you. He is at the bar and far from being tired as he presses his lips on a woman, the same woman at the Hard Deck he swore to you he didn’t know. The world is crumbling down your feet as you’re looking at them kissing passionately and being in each other’s arms. Tears are running down your cheeks and you can’t stop them. You want to go in and insult Jake with every bad word you know yet, the shock is so strong you turn around and go back home, trying to understand what you just saw.

When you close your door, you lean on the wall before sliding down and bursting into tears. You have your head in your hands, totally desperate and angry, not only at Jake but at yourself too. You wonder how you couldn’t see the signs. Now that you think back on it, you realise that, indeed, every element was in front of you : he keeps an emotional distance, he never uses pet names, you’re never his priority and so and so forth. You thought you found someone honest and you feel like a fool as you realise it isn’t the case. You should have listened to Cora, you should have listened to your instinct. You thought you learned your lesson, especially after your relationship with Logan, apparently you still have a long road ahead of you.

Once your sobs calm down, you stand up and throw yourself on your bed, not really taking the time to change your clothes. You stay there, laying on your back, staring at the ceiling, without understanding what’s happening. In the end, you are not the exception. As always. And you never will be. You will never have your love story, your confession of love, your happily ever after. 

Your phone notifying you of a new message interrupts your downward spiral. You take it and when you see it’s a text from Jake wishing you a goodnight, you want to answer him with a long paragraph, explaining how much you hate him. However, you don’t have the strength so you delete his number and block him on your social media. You feel lighter but still miserable. You don’t want to see him ever again.

Your wish is not granted. You’ve been able to avoid Jake only for a week. Despite all your efforts, Jake forces the hand of destiny by coming to your workplace. You see him entering the bookshop but you keep working, pretending to be too busy. You don’t even react when he’s in front of you. Your lack of reaction confuses Jake. He expected you to throw yourself in his arms and yet, he is taken aback by your silence.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s me.” he starts with a big smile, “I saw you weren’t answering my texts and I can’t reach you on social either, weirdly, so I got worried. Everything okay ? Are you ignoring me ?”

“I don’t know, did you give me a reason to ignore you ?” you question looking up to him, forcing a smile.

“Huh, no. I mean, I don’t think so.”

“Then no, I’m not ignoring you. You’re such a nice guy, I don’t see why I’d want to ignore you.” you exclaim, ironically.

“Ok, I’ve missed something. Can we talk about it ?”

“I don’t want to talk to you !”

“If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, I think I deserve at least an explanation. I mean, we’ve had something for four months.” Jake demands and this is your last straw. 

“In the back shop. Now.”

Because of your authoritative tone, Jake doesn't dare to make an inappropriate comment and follows you while you go to the backshop. Cora looks at you from afar, completely confused by the angry expression on your face - you haven’t told her anything about your discovery, feeling too ashamed.

Once you close the door behind Jake, you cross your arms on your chest and glare at him.

“So, what’s up ?” Jake casually asks.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” you start, trying so hard not to scream, “I thought you were too tired so why were you at the Scented Sky ?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t try to outwit me ! A week ago, I asked you if you wanted to come to my place to which you gave me the stupid excuse of “I’m too tired to come”. And yet, when I went to the bar, I saw you, in great form.”

At your last sentence, Jake’s eyes widen, panic visible on his face. His brain tries to find a rational explanation however before he can say it to you, you quickly add.

“And do I need to specify you weren’t alone when I saw you ? You were with the woman from the Hard Deck. You know, the same woman you didn’t know at all. And not to mention you were kissing her.”

“I have a good explanation,” he fastly says.

“Oh yeah ? Which one ?”

Jake stares at you and chooses his words carefully before speaking, as if he was in front of a wild animal. He never saw you mad before. He didn’t even think it was possible so he doesn’t know the way you could react if what he says came out wrong.

“She was flirting with me again and before I could react, she kissed me.”

“I just told you I saw and you keep taking me for a fool ?” you retort, shocked by his lie. “You were the one who pressed his lips on hers, your hands were on her hips ! How can you think I’m gonna believe what you’re telling me ? How could you do this to me ? I thought we had something !”

“I…”, he stutters before starting with a calm voice, “Look, I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship, nothing was official between us and-”

“And I get it !” you cut him off sharply, “But It doesn’t give you the right to make me believe you care about me just for you to go see someone else. You know, if you had told me you weren’t ready for a relationship and you wanted to meet other women at the same time, I would have told you I didn’t want that and we would have called it quits ! You haven’t been honest with me when I’ve given you everything ! You’ve betrayed my trust just like the others.” you sigh, your eyes getting teary.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen. I swear I had the best of intentions.”

“If that is you with the best of intentions then I don’t want to imagine how you’d act if you didn’t care about the person ; you’ve ruined everything. You’ve taken me for an idiot for months and you have no remorse about it ! All I did was defend you, repeat to everyone you were someone nice and you’ve proven to everyone you live up to your reputation and that I am the stupid and desperate woman who only sees the best in the worst guys. Tell me honestly, were you even gonna tell me one day you didn’t want anything serious with me or were you gonna let me guess it by ghosting me ?” you question and Jake doesn’t answer. “Your silence says it all. I can’t believe I could have thought you were good. But, at least, you were useful for something. I had to learn to listen to my instinct when it tells me to walk out from a relationship instead of persisting. Thanks to you, I’ve finally learned my lesson. I hate you, Jake.” you pronounce, staring him right in the eyes. “I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“Y/N, wait-”Jake tries to say.

“No ! Leave and never talk to me again.”

Jake doesn’t add anything and leaves the room without looking back. Once the door is closed, you let your tears run freely down on your cheeks. You sit down, not having enough strength in your legs when the door opens once more, letting in Cora. She doesn’t wait before taking you in her arms. She affectionately strokes your back while you’re sobbing.

“I didn’t know what I was doing. You were right, Cora.”

“I wish I wasn’t.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“He’s the stupid one here, he doesn't know what he’s lost.”

Cora’s words should be comforting and yet, it makes you feel worse. Jake might not know what he’s lost but you sure do know what you’ve lost, time, love, energy and above all, trust. You know you’ll need time to heal from it.

And indeed, you need several months before you can spend a day without thinking about Jake. Now you can finally start to move on. This relationship, though short, has left a trace in your heart, just not like you wished. Since your split-up, you’ve decided to put yourself first instead of waiting for a man to show you his love. You need to understand what you want and what you deserve in a relationship and you can only do that alone. You need to know how to exist and to love without depending on the gaze of a significant other. 

For the first time in your life, you are your own priority and you feel good as a single woman. You wouldn’t be against the idea of living your epic love story one day but you are satisfied with your current life. You’re self-sufficient and that is the most beautiful confession of love you could ever have.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Part two

[bananaofswifts]

Whether she's breaking records or breaking Ticketmaster, Taylor Swift has proven time and again that she's one of the most powerful figures in modern music — and the Eras Tour is a manifestation of that.

By TAYLOR WEATHERBY

But after witnessing it in person, it's clear that Swift is not just delivering the tour of the year — it's the tour of her generation.

Sure, Beyoncé fans can't wait for her tour this summer; Harry Styles is about to embark on the final leg of his highly successful Love On Tour trek; BLACKPINK sold out stadiums around the country too. Yet, it's hard to imagine that any other tour this year will have a cultural impact as big as the Eras Tour — something that's wildly apparent whether or not you were there.

Even before Swift hit the stage for her first night at Nashville's Nissan Stadium on May 5, her influence was felt. Practically every fan of the 70,000 in attendance (a record for the venue — more on that later) was wearing some sort of reference to their favorite Swift era: a beloved lyric, or an iconic performance or music video look. While that's not necessarily a new trend in the Swiftie world, seeing all 10 of her eras represented throughout a stadium-sized crowd was equal parts meaningful and remarkable.

As someone who has been to hundreds of tours and most of Swift's — including the Reputation Tour, which I naively referred to as "the peak of her career" — I didn't think this one would feel much different than a typical stadium show. But even when Swift was just a few songs in of her impressive three-and-a-half hour set, a feeling came over me like I wasn't just watching one of music's greats — I was part of music history.

Below, here are five reasons why the Eras Tour will go down as one of the most iconic of Swift's generation.

It's Treated Like A Holiday

In the week leading up to the shows and over the weekend, Nashville was abundant with special events in Swift's honor. From Taylor-themed trivia nights to pre- and post-show dance parties to wine lists transformed into "eras," practically every place you went was commemorating her return (she last performed in Nashville in 2018).

While it's unclear whether this kind of takeover is happening in every city — after all, she does consider Nashville a hometown, as she said on stage — it's rare to see an artist have such a ripple effect by simply just coming to town.

During her May 5 show, Swift added to the excitement by sharing the highly anticipated news that Speak Now (Taylor's Version) was coming on July 7. Upon the announcement, three of Nashville's monuments — the John Seigenthaler Pedestrian Bridge, the Tennessee State Capitol and the Alliance Bernstein building downtown — were illuminated in purple, the album's color.

It's Breaking Records Left And Right

Though Swift is no stranger to breaking records, she continues to do so with the Eras Tour. After setting the all-time attendance record at Nissan Stadium on night one of her Nashville run, Swift topped herself (something has become accustomed to on the charts as well) with another attendance record on night two.

And despite the controversial ticketing frenzy the tour caused, Swift also broke a Ticketmaster record with more than 2.4 million tickets sold — the most by an artist in a single day — in the presale alone. If Swift announces an international leg of the tour, Pollstar projects that the Eras Tour could surpass $1 billion, which would add yet another first to her ever-growing list.

It's Spawned Parking Lot Parties

As if history-making attendance and record-breaking ticket sales aren't indication enough of Swift's power, the Eras Tour is so highly in-demand that fans are sitting outside of the venue to still be part of the show. Fans crowded barricades and camped out in the parking lot of Nissan Stadium, ready to watch (and sing along) Swift on the big screen — something that has seemingly been happening in every city.

It Can't Be Stopped By The Elements

Adding to the magnitude of the Eras Tour, Swift performs 45 songs across three and a half hours. And to make her last night in Nashville even more momentous, she did almost all of that in pouring rain.

Swift didn't get to take the stage until after 10 p.m. on May 7 because of storms in the area (she normally goes on around 7:50 local time), but that didn't mean she'd be shortening her set. Carrying on until after 1:30 a.m. — even through the "element of slippiness happening," as she joked — Swift made it clear that she's determined to give each show her all regardless of the weather.

It's Simply A Feel-Good Celebration

Perhaps it was the five-year gap between the last time she toured. Perhaps it was the four new albums of material. Perhaps it was the celebratory nature of the show. Whatever inspired the vibe of the Eras Tour, I've never seen Taylor Swift or her fans so alive. The passion was tangible, the energy was magnetic.

Though Swift has always been known as an artist with a very loyal following, it was still mind-blowing to hear 70,000 people belt out every word for three hours straight. There aren't many artists whose catalogs are as equally beloved as they are extensive, especially one who hasn't even seen her 34th birthday. No matter how many albums and tours are in Swift's future, the Eras Tour captures a special moment in time — and celebrates a legend in her prime.

[thegreatimpersonator]

How do you reason if taylor doesnt speak up about palestine in the near future? Because there’s an air of finality in her silence about this cause. Especially now that we know an israeli supporter (capital one) sponsored her US leg of tour, even her eras tour seems dirty. She is so quick to release new versions of ttpd (31 versions as of now), after billie indirectly called her out.

(Sidebar— yes billie may be a hypocrite to talk about wasteful variants of albums to be produced one after another to supplement chart topping. BUT she wasn’t wrong and not only was taylor in a position to set an example of reducing waste in music industry because of her titan status, she used that position to punch down further on billie’s release week, despite it not affecting ttpd’s #1 rank. Talk about stepping on her gown and taking her crown. Olivia creating a distance from taylor since the royalties incident has left a bad taste in my mouth.)

Also, its not helpful that she dated and defended a racist last year, wrote an album about him.

small tangent before i get to the main point: i've said this before billie isn't a hypocrite for the vinyl thing. i think y'all really need to start looking into the actual articles instead of just reading headlines or hearing out-of-context quotes. the entire article with billie was about sustainability and how she works hard to make her variants out of 100% recycled material so they're less wasteful. she wasn't saying she was against all vinyl variants in general, she was saying she's against people who make a bunch of variants and not put the effort in to make sure it's not wasteful like she does. she was just asking people to be more sustainable with their variants.

now to the main point: i've already made peace a long time ago that she's not a good person. when she doubled down on dating a vocal bigot who says slurs for fun and gets off to black women getting brutalized and tried to make it look empowering for her, releasing a song about anyone who doesn't like bigotry as 'vipers dressed in empath's clothing', and just becoming the embodiment of true white feminism and being a huge hypocrite, fully abandoning her activism and regressing to the generic apolitical 'remember to register to vote' posts that she made before she promised to do more, all that plus she's also been openly ableist with parts of ttpd in terms of using problematic displays of mental hospitals/breakdowns and using them as an 'aesthetic', mocking/invalidating other peoples addiction/depression but then asking for empathy with her own mental issues, working with and befriending multiple abusers, zionists, etc all while remaining silent on a genocide that is dependent on gaining traction and attention so people can raise money to help (also releasing the eras tour movie in Israel actively during the genocide, then later selling it to disney+ which is on the boycott list) but making sure she's still the biggest star in the world, maintaining her platform but never using it for anything important or good, asking for more money for herself and fully showing that charts are more important to her than injustice or helping fellow humans, and showing all the causes she once said she cared about don't really matter to her.

i've fully accepted that she's not gonna talk about the genocide she can easily help. and if by a shocking turn of events she does, we'll all know it's because she was losing fans not because she actually cares (which i know isn't the point, it's not about her, and her speaking up will help the cause so much so she still should; but i'm speaking in terms of how it reflects on her and her intentions). none of this should be surprising, i've seen a lot of people say this might be their last straw with her and that's completely valid, but my last straw was used up about a year ago. none of her new behavior is causing frustration to me because i was already frustrated to begin with. i don't need to reason with it because i did a long time ago.

[chosetherose]

Oscar de la Renta. Versace. Alberta Ferretti. Roberto Cavalli. Elie Saab. Christian Louboutin. Zuhair Murad. Ashish. The list of the designers who have made looks for Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, which began just over a month ago in Arizona and ends in California in August before heading overseas, is like a mini-tour of fashion weeks, replete with sparkles, chiffon and a message tee.

The resulting dress-up extravaganza has been greeted, not surprisingly, with heart-thumping enthusiasm. So many clothes! So much glitter! So fun! There are pages of stories online breathlessly documenting “Every Outfit Taylor Swift Has Worn on Her Eras World Tour” (as Elle Australia put it). And new styles keep emerging, enabling new coverage. As if sheer wardrobe abundance is an achievement unto itself.

It’s possible it is. The logistics alone are daunting: How do you change that much, and that fast, while in the middle of a performance?

Certainly it has raised the bar for the artists who are touring next, as we enter the Summer of the Diva: Madonna, who is embarking on a retrospective tour (just imagine the looks that one could involve), and Beyoncé, who set the bar sky-high in August when she dropped a teaser of sorts via the “I’m That Girl” trailer, which involved at least seven looks compressed into a few minutes, from cyborg goddess to cowboy dominatrix to killer Audrey Hepburn.

But it’s also possible to see in all these Swiftian clothes, all the wardrobe switcheroos, something else. It’s possible that they are, actually, not just a tour down memory lane but a more pointed piece of meta-commentary on the expectation that female pop stars unveil new versions of themselves for our viewing pleasure, one-upping their old image with new wardrobes ad infinitum. And a message that Ms. Swift is, perhaps, calling time on the whole thing.

The promise of reinvention is a core American value: the belief that everyone has the right to a fresh start, that you are limited only by your imagination and abilities. It’s intrinsically linked to the promise of fashion, which likewise dangles the lure of a new you; of allowing you to try on different selves until you settle into one that feels right.

Yet it is also its own kind of prison, as Ms. Swift, who has made a habit of embedding meaning into her wardrobe choices, said in her 2020 documentary, “Miss Americana.”

“The female artists that I know of have reinvented themselves 20 times more than the male artists,” she says in a voice-over toward the end of the film, as various versions of her public personas flash by: teenage Taylor, with her gold ringlets, sparkly blue eye shadow and princess dresses; “1989” Taylor, with her ironed bob and glittery bodysuits; “Reputation” angry Taylor, with snakes crawling up her limbs.

This is necessary, Ms. Swift continues, because otherwise “you’re out of a job.”

At the time she was talking about her newfound political voice as well as her new album, “Lover” (now three albums and at least two Taylors ago: the earth nymph Taylor of “Folklore” and “Evermore,” and the dreamer Taylor of “Midnights”). But in many ways, what she meant is laid bare (so to speak) in her Eras Tour.

Each musical era revisited in the show had — and has — its own look, all 10 or so of them. To watch her go through them in succession is to see not just fabulous clothes worn with purpose, but also the hamster wheel of constant reinvention that has been the model for contemporary female pop stars since Madonna set the tone in the 1980s.

It’s particularly stark in comparison with another musical act now touring to similar response and acclaim: Bruce Springsteen. Mr. Springsteen is 73, and his style hasn’t changed much in 50 years. He’s still in beat-up jeans and a denim shirt, bracelets around his wrist, boots on his feet.

To be fair, there are male rock stars who have made a game out of reinvention: most notably David Bowie but also, to a certain extent, Harry Styles (though he generally dons one statement outfit per night). And there are women — Lucinda Williams, Patti Smith — who bucked the trend.

But it is also true, said Kathy Iandoli, an adjunct professor at the New York University Steinhardt School and the author of “God Save the Queens: The Essential History of Women in Hip-Hop,” that the pressure to dress up and change up falls exponentially on women. “1,000 percent,” Ms. Iandoli said. “There’s a level of costuming that comes with being a female pop star, a way for labels to market creativity. And if you are known as an evolutionary artist you are always held to the standard of ‘what’s the next version of you?’”

Ms. Swift has turned that pressure to her own ends as cannily as anyone. Her makeovers, which coincide with her sonic evolutions, are not the same as the makeover imposed on the main character in the Lady Gaga version of “A Star Is Born,” in which studio bigwigs force their latest discovery into Creamsicle hair, new outfits and new dance moves — a ginned-up version of herself she rejects after her husband’s death.

By contrast, Ms. Swift (with her stylist Joseph Cassell Falconer) has been her own wardrobe mistress, and her fans, many of whom show up dressed as their favorite Taylor, can relate.

But even Gaga, a master of the fashion-music makeover, seemingly rebelled against the imperative at this year’s Oscars when, rather than change into yet another showstopping gown for her performance, she subverted all expectations by donning ripped jeans and a black T-shirt and scrubbing her face bare, as if to say to the watching world: enough.

Fernando Garcia, a creative director of Oscar de la Renta, which made a lavender faux-fur coat with matching crystal-embroidered T-shirt dress and a midnight-blue, crystal-embroidered jumpsuit for the current tour, said that working with Ms. Swift on Eras felt “very much like a full circle moment.” If so, perhaps it’s also a sign that another era is coming to an end.

At one point in the Eras show, when Ms. Swift is singing “Look What You Made Me Do,” all of the old Taylors are embodied by different backup dancers in different outfits in different little glass boxes — all those mini-mes of the past, trapped in their own limited spaces, in their old wardrobes, only to finally break free.

As fashion metaphors go, it’s hard to miss.

[whatiwillsay]

Hi! I'm totally a baby Swifty who started to listen her music bc of the Gaylors on my tl (twitter)🥲. So bc I thought she only sings about boys etc I'd not like her music. I was so wrong, she's so amazing! Also her love for her cats like girl I understand! Like I know she's not a saint but who loves cats this much couldn't be a bad person imo...

So I went down the Gaylor rabbit hole and like I've not that convinced yet 🥲 like of course I'd like if this big pop icon of our time would be part of our community.. and maybe she is... just privately.... and that's perfectly fine!

I'm just saying that for example I totally saw that kiss on that kiss gate video in the first few days while I researched the topic... but then I read a Gaylor presentation and it had a gif of that "kiss" and it was so clear (for me) that one of them just whispered something into the other one's ear... and then I heard that a member of muna? said that nothing happened on that concert between Taylor and Karlie...

So this made me think that maybe I just see what I want to see... So I wanted to ask you and maybe this community' opinion about Taylor's lyrics. Bc maybe her lyrics and songs could be more convincing... So she sings a lot about secret love etc ..as I heard ... So what do you think her "gayest" songs are? Like top 5 list? 🙏

And do you think this "I had to hide my love & relationships became so risky" etc theme in her music could be about cheating or about matty? Instead of the queer theme... Like I'd hide that man fr 😭

I'm not so familiar with her music yet. (I only listen midnights and speak now Taylor's version on repeat for the past week, yesterday I stared to watched her concerts and doc films on Netflix)

Ps. Sorry for the long ass ask 😭🙏

here you go babe and it’s “swiftie”

[chorusfm]

Taylor Swift – 1989

Can it really be your “first documented, official pop album” if you’ve already released three of the biggest pop albums in recent memory? 10 years ago this weekend, Taylor Swift delivered the answer to that question, and the answer was a decisive, resounding “Yes.” From the vantage point of 2024, it’s almost difficult to remember any version of Taylor Swift that wasn’t a world-conquering, stadium-tour-dominating pop star. The past two years of Taylormania have so thoroughly dwarfed any other pop star achievement in my lifetime that it’s even a little difficult to think back to pre-COVID times, when it seemed like the Taylor Swift machine was maybe starting to run out of gas. As mid-decade lists pour out from every music publication out there, I expect plenty of debates about what was the quote-unquote “best song” or “best album” of the decade. When it comes to discussing the artist of the decade so far, though, there is simply no debate: it’s Taylor, then it’s 93 million miles, and then it’s everyone else. But it wasn’t always that way, and in the Taylor Swift story, it’s album number five, 2014’s 1989, that serves as arguably the most important inflection point between phase one Taylor and the force of nature we know today. Per the narrative, Taylor Swift before 2014 was a country star who had crossed over to pop music success but never fully left her Nashville roots behind. 1989, in being her “first documented, official pop album” – the weird phrasing she used to describe the LP when she officially announced it in August 2014 – was the album that made the crossover complete, and solidified Taylor’s status as the world’s biggest musical star in the process. The thing with narratives is that they’re often predicated on half-truths. Real life is messy, full of all sorts of jagged edges and unclean lines. The stories we tell about our lives often sand away those edges to simplify the act of retelling. Such is also the case with artists and the stories they tell about their art, and it’s certainly true about Taylor Swift, someone who had absolutely made pop albums long before 2014. Let’s review: Taylor arrives, at least as a recording artist, in 2006 with her self-titled LP. No arguments from me that this debut album is clearly a country record. The same is probably true about 2008’s Fearless, even though it achieved the kind of crossover that no country album in my lifetime up to that point had achieved. There had been massive, massive country acts in the ‘90s, of course: Garth Brooks and Billy Ray Cyrus and Shania Twain and Faith Hill and the Dixie Chicks. All those artists sold tons of albums, and most of them scored massive hits. Faith Hill even had the top-charting song of 1999, besting Santana and Rob Thomas and “Smooth.” With Fearless, though, Taylor felt more embraced by the pop mainstream than any of country’s ‘90s titans, especially as songs like “You Belong with Me” and “Love Story” broke down every genre barrier out there. Fearless was also an awards show darling in extremely notable ways, whether Taylor was beating out Beyonce at the MTV Video Music Awards (much to the chagrin of a certain rapper) or winning her first of four (and counting) Album of the Year Grammys. So, that’s one true-blue country album, and one album that rode the pop-country divide so cleverly that it brokered a new kind of peace between pop listeners and country listeners. The widespread embrace of Fearless set the stage for two albums that arguably have more pop in their DNA than country. 2010’s Speak Now throws Nashville a couple bones, in the form of songs like “Mean,” “Back to December,” and the b-side “Ours.” But it’s also got pure pop moments like “The Story of Us” and “Sparks Fly,” and big rock songs like “Haunted” and “Better Than Revenge.” It was also the first Taylor album to sell a million copies in a week, a mark previously only achieved by one country album: Garth Brooks’ Double Live from 1998. 2012’s Red is even more blatantly “not country,” and that’s… https://chorus.fm/reviews/taylor-swift-1989-2/

[televinita]

How many library items do I even have out? Let's find out together!

Books ready to return: 2

Books I need to review before returning: 3 (Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands; Carrie Soto Is Back; The Lily of Ludgate Hill)

CDs: 1 (1989 Taylor's Version. I'm not ready to hear it yet. but I would like the option to do so without Spotify ads. or streams tbh)

Aaand that makes 13 items left, very good. In absolutely no order because I'm just trying to make sure I know where they all are...

1. Cheap Old Houses - Elizabeth Finkelstein: a beautiful coffee table book, apparently based off an Instagram that I (per usual) have never heard of; I am almost done but have been simply luxuriating in the photos. Currently gazing at it on BookOutlet like "$15 is reasonable for a brand new copy of such a large and 5-star book I definitely have space for actually."

2. Another Good Dog: One Family & 50 Foster Dogs - Cara Sue Achterberg: I got about 60 pages in and am loving it, but it was SO GREAT! that I had to pause and put more middling books in front of it to process; been trying to get back for 2+ weeks. That said, when I finish it...

3. One Hundred Dogs & Counting - Cara Sue Achterberg: ...when I finish the above it'll be on to the next one! (maybe? or maybe I'll want to save this 2nd shot of joy for the future)

4. The Break-Up Tour - Emily Wibberley and Austin S.B.: this has taken WAY too much time and effort to get my damn hands on. And then I didn't even read it fast! I started and then got distracted, and only yesterday managed to get up to the halfway mark. At least the request list has cooled off so I will be able to renew it.

5. The Haunting - Natasha Preston: just stocking up some reliably good YA horror for when I really crave those in the summer. This is literally an I-love-cheap-thrills situation.

6. The Joy of Falling - Lindsay Harrel: a random impulse checkout because the cover was pretty and it's about 2 widowed sisters-in-law training for an ultra-marathon in New Zealand that their late husbands had been planning to do. Thought it might serve as exercise motivation.

7. Malibu Rising - Taylor Jenkins Reid: will this suck me in as fast as Carrie Soto did? I dunno, but this is the one I was originally more interested in, so let's see if this is the year we find out.

8. Heirloom Rooms: Soulful Stories of Home - Erin Napier: Speaking of coffee table books I was looking at on BookOutlet, this popped in the "you may also like wheel" and I saw the library had it instead. "a collection of essays walking us through every room in her home, telling the story of a family’s life, of the days that made their home the place she longs for when she’s away. We learn about when they became the new owners of Erin’s dream house from childhood in downtown Laurel, Mississippi, and explore the beautiful homes of family, friends, and projects past in photographs." YEAH!

9. The Wishing Game - Meg Shaffer: I forgot to re-freeze this hold so it came in at the WORST possible time. I've been waiting on this since January and refuse to be rushed or read it if the timing isn't Perfect, so instead I'm gonna be the jerk who keeps it 3 full weeks just in case I get to it; the waitlist remains at 50+ for 7 copies. My ace in the hole is that certain books are WAY less popular in the county next door, where we can dual-register, and they also have 7 copies but only 14 people waiting.

10. Homeward Bound: Why Women Are Embracing the New Domesticity: nonfiction from 2013 that I've been vaguely meaning to read someday. There's only 1 copy left in the system so I checked it out while I was at that branch, but 99% sure I will NOT be getting to it this round. 20 days til my renewals max out.

12. DVD: Northanger Abbey: the JJ Feild spiral I have been trying to find time for since March is clearly not happening right now because WOW Ryan Gosling spiral time instead. But I can't stop believing until my renewals run out, in 3 weeks.

13. DVD: Third Star: see above. somehow holding out more hope for this one, if only because Survivor has hella reactivated my Male Friendship radar, despite these being extremely different types of men. ...just noticed my renewals on this max out in 4 days, oops.

14. DVD: Ghosts (UK), season 3: I was on a hot watching streak and then I abruptly shifted gears to watch the U.S. version's third season instead (because I was too lazy to fight with our Blu-Ray player that throws a fit every time we tell it to play a DVD instead of its favorite format), and now I don't know how to get back in the groove. But I won't give up until they make me! (9 days from now when my renewals max out)

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I hope you had a good weekend! Where did you go? Did you do anything fun? Happy Lunar New Year! Don't worry about the lengths of your replies at all. Mine will probably be shorter from now on too. How are you? I don't know which songs will be singles. Maybe the first two songs since one is a feature and those numbers are usually singles in an album..or number 3. I have like no idea for this album though but maybe we will get three singles like Midnights. I always tend to love the first 3 songs of every Taylor album so I'm also excited for those. I've also noticed I don't care for her number sevens as much lol, and I think her 10s are just okay. I haven't liked any song that's number 14 as much for her last few albums, but I actually love the Great War so hopefully I like the new one. I only noticed cuz it's one of my favorite numbers. Haha I hope that's not too crazy that I know that. But I always seem to love the first and last and title songs. I haven't seen the rumored list except someone that worked on a few Lover songs worked on a few songs so that's interesting and gives some ideas of what it will sound like. I'm sure Aaron worked on a few songs too. There seems to be a lot of upcoming music I'm looking forward to..even before her album comes out. Ariana Grande has a new album and Beyonce announced her Act 2 album and released two songs! They are so good and I'm really interested to see her do a full country album. Ariana's album comes out the beginning of next month, the same day as Bleachers actually, and Beyonce's is the end of next month! We are also expecting twenty one pilots new music by the end of this month and I'm curious when their album will come out too. What have you been listening to recently or what are some albums you're looking forward to?

Speaking of Ariana, the first look and trailer for Wicked premiered last night. What are your thoughts? I've watched it a few times and think it's okay. I don't really know what I expected from it but I don't know how to feel. I like Ariana I guess but idk if she is exactly Glinda to me but I don't really know who else I would want either. It didn't really show enough but I thought the actual movie and trailer at least looked nice, with the colors and stuff. I am still not sure about the two parts thing though and I'm wondering if that's why it didn't show much? I admit I am more familiar with Act 1. I like Cynthia and think the movie has potential but it doesn't feel like Wicked either to me yet. I think they also said the movie might add stuff from the book, so I might read it before the movie comes out. I love Wicked a lot though, more than other musicals and have been waiting forever for a movie version. I'm sure a lot of other people have too and have mixed feelings. I feel the same way for now but I'm definitely seeing the movie anyway. What do you think about it?

Also I love your new url! I can't believe she played that song when I don't think she's played it live before. She did that with a few songs during these shows with Eyes Open and Electric Touch and Superman lol. I actually have no idea what surprise songs to guess anymore haha. I will probably send you my guesses later this week though. Do you have any guesses? I'm so curious if she will share more about the album in the next few weeks or if she will play a new song before it's out but I doubt it. Do you think she will add it to the show in some way or even wear any new costumes? I guess I can't decide or how that would be. I can't believe we were all expecting rep at this point and she even said she would have announced the new album at a show, but it feels so crazy now. I thought this ask would be shorter, but they always look long anyway. You don't have to worry about replying either or it can be shorter. My reply was also late so I understand but I hope you have a great week.

hellooo friend! hope you've been well — i saw something on twitter about a 21p album and thought of you today! i was in california, visiting some family!

it's always nice to see family — got to eat a lot of good food and a lot of (much needed) sunshine! wait what's your least favorite number seven? i don't think i've ever noticed a pattern of some sorts for my favorite/least favorites, now that you mention it! i loveeee the great war, it's probably in my top 5 on midnights — dear reader, mastermind, yoyok, the great war, and paris. in no particular order. i've been listening to a lot of holly humberstone lately as usual, but most recently have been spinning the last dinner party! last week my favorites were the rosie darling album "lanterns", as well as the kaitlyn tarver album "quitter". what about you? i'm super excited for the new bleachers, new holly EP, new beyonce — lots of good music for the month of march!

i actually somehow still have not seen the wicked trailer in full 😭 but my friends seem very mixed on it (mostly not a fan). i'm wondering if i should try to read the book before seeing it, since i feel like there'll be more book influence? maybe? hopefully? but from the stills i've seen, i still have a very hard time imagining ... everyone ... as their characters haha.

ugh i love the outside! i used to listen to it in the car constantly as an incredibly lonely little girl who didn't fit in at school and just moved to a new country. it's one of the songs i'm most excited for on debut tv — aside from tied together with a smile, cold as you, and invisible. debut is just... a perfect album to me. very nostalgic.

we have a show tonight! i wonder what she'll sing! i'm likely going to be up for surprise songs (i have some friends going, so i'm hoping to watch their surprise songs); i feel like it'll be from some more recent albums (maybe rep? maybe lover?); i feel like she hasn't sang from them in a while! i don't think she'll add a TTPD set — eras is already so long, they'd have to go back into rehearsals/choreo for it, it just feels like a bit of a logistical nightmare — especially when you consider the movie, and that she's already toured for so long. my guess is we'll see it on the b-stage for surprise songs!! either way, i'm excited! that being said, if you were to cut maybe 5 songs from the current setlist to make a TTPD setlist, what 5 songs would you cut?

hope you're having a good week! love you! 🤍

[princesachicana]

𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲 (steven conklin x reader)

description: in which you’re head over heels for steven. But he isn’t head over heels for you, right?

wanna be added to my steven conklin tag list? just send me a direct message , ask box or comment on this post!!

God why couldn’t he just notice you? Steven Conklin was like a daydream when you looked at him. If he speaks even little as three words to you, your heart rate spikes. But no he didn’t look at you the way you looked at him, he’d only ever saw you as a friend. He romantically liked girls like Shayla maybe even Taylor? Seeing as he made out with her. You remembered that one of your sisters jokingly pushed you towards Steven, implying to make out with you next, the look on his face after made you mortified.

It’s like he was repulsed by the thought of even so much as giving you a peck on the lips. It seemed like everyone knew you were head over heels for Steven, but Steven himself. You noticed the sympathetic looks your friends and sisters gave you when you embarrassingly tried to make conversation with Steven. Just for him to shut it down saying “I’ll be back.” and actually never come.

You craved a summer romance. With all the other boys who’ve asked you out on dates? No. With Steven Conklin there was no better boy in your eyes. You craved a summer romance just like your sisters. A set of twins dating the fisher boys? Just like a romance novel. You saw how Jeremiah made Maria’s smile bigger, You saw how Conrad’s eyes softened every time he glanced at Mariana. Yeah that’s exactly what you wanted, but you and Stevens own version.

But right here, right now you doubted that it was even possible. You were currently sitting with all your friends and sisters around a fire. You’ve probably carved your name in the sand a thousand times. Being as the conversation was about a party that occurred a week before, you had little to say. You didn’t show up, and probably run into Steven making out with a girl? No. No. No. “Why didn’t my butterfly show up?” Steven asked nudging you with his shoulder, you smiled the nickname warming your heart a little.

Everyone called you “Butterfly” because when you were younger you took a little longer than most twelve month olds to take your first steps. So when you finally did your family compared it to a butterfly that finally spread its wings and flew. After your father told the story three summer’s ago, it just stuck. So when Steven used, it felt special for only a millisecond, because then you remembered everyone else also called you that.

Your mind went back to Steven’s question, of course you couldn’t say the real reason.

I didn’t show up, because I refuse to stare at you when your kissing someone else.

“I already told you, I was tired.” Your eyes went around the bonfire, everyone else giving you knowing looks. “Bullshit, you’re never tired” Jeremiah laughed. Maria who was in between his legs, her back to his chest, turned her head quickly giving her boyfriend a knowing look that said “you are so not helping” They had the type of relationship where they had a silent language, often times they gave each other looks and just automatically knew what the other was saying telepathically.

“Well I missed you, and hopefully you got some beauty rest cause tomorrow your coming!” Steven wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. You immediately giggled, you softly laid your head onto one of his shoulders. “She can’t!” Mariana spoke out loud, she was seated on Conrad’s lap who hadn’t stopped playing with her hair. Oh right you couldn’t come even if you wanted to. “Well why not?” Steven asked. “And I want no stupid excuses!” He declared with a grin.

“I have a date.” You whispered, eyes closing for a second. Yes, you had a date. The guy was nice, you didn’t know much about him. You only talked to him for five minutes and the only information that you got was, his name was Michael and he’d asked you out to an arcade. “You have a date? With who Casper?” Steven scoffed, laughing as he pulled away from you. You opened your mouth to reply but your all to protective sisters spoke before you. “Yeah, and he’s like so hot right y/n?” Mariana said making her boyfriend frown.

“Sorry babe.” She whispered, turning towards Conrad placing a chaste kiss onto his lips. “He is attractive.” Your voice was broken. You were embarrassed, Steven couldn’t even believe you had a date. He’d jokingly asked if your mysterious date was a ghost! It hurt. “Yeah, and they’ve been like FaceTiming non-stop right y/n?” It was Maria’s turn to defend you. Yeah, you wouldn’t say you’ve been FaceTiming Michael “non-stop” but he’d called a couple times and he was fun to talk to. “We have interesting conversations” your voice was small, almost preparing yourself for another insult from Steven.

“Yeah right” he muttered before getting up and walking away. You stared at his retreating figure, your eyes getting misty. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. You repeated the words in your head like a mantra. “Don’t listen to him butterfly he’s an asshole.” Conrad spoke up, giving you a small smile. You nodded your head, scared that if you spoke you’d burst out into tears, you didn’t wanna ruin the rest of the night.

~

5 Minutes. 10 Minutes. 15 Minutes. 20 Minutes. 30 Minutes. Why had you waited this long? He wasn’t going to show up. You had stood by the prize stand for the arcade for almost an hour waiting for Michael like you both planned. You had stared at each and every couple who walked in hand in hand, you could tell which ones were on their first date and which ones had been together for awhile.

Really this was all your fault, right? You should have figured he wasn’t coming after your 3rd message went unanswered.

But you waited standing there, probably looking absolutely ridiculous in your outfit that your sisters helped you pick out. It wasn’t exactly your style but you figured this was what boys expected girls to wear on dates. You also tried something new with your makeup, a darker lip that made your lips more “kissable”, well according to Mariana.

After last night and how Steven had acted, you felt more than embarrassed. No doubt, he’d be laughing at you right now. You sat alone on the beach, it wasn’t a far walk from your parent’s beach house. Everyone else was at the party you contemplated showing up and lying about how the date ended quickly, but you’d face one hundred questions that would end in more lies so you just walked to the beach.

It wasn’t till now with the ocean’s waves swooshing in the background, that you cried. You had been stood up. You should of figured Michael wasn’t actually interested in you. He’d only ever asked you questions like “are you a virgin?” Or “what are you wearing right now?” and you’d occasionally get the “you up?” texts not surprisingly followed by him asking for nudes, of course you never sent any, maybe that’s why he didn’t show up?

This was just another reminder that you weren’t destined for a summer romance. “Hey” the greeting was quiet and soft, you knew it was Steven. You attempted to wipe your face, but the smeared mascara would be a dead giveaway that you had been crying. “Guessing the date didn’t go well?” Steven sat next to you hesitantly. “He didn’t show up, so just leave because I don’t really want to hear how you think it’s so funny.” You spoke staring straight at the ocean, contemplating on jumping in and letting the ocean take you anywhere but here. The boy you’ve been in love with sitting next to you as you admitted something humiliating.

“He’s fucking stupid.” Steven’s words were harsh. “Him? Look at me I got dressed up for him, I’m like the epitome of stupid.” You said, looking down at your outfit. “You look pretty really, well beautiful actually.” Steven said causing your eyes to meet his. “Thank you” His words made your heart nearly jump outside of your chest. He’d called you pretty, no he called you beautiful for the first time ever, he only ever said you looked “cute.”

“I think anyone who fucks up a chance with you is stupid, by the way” Steven’s words once again were a complete shock to you. “Anyways, any other dates or boys planned?” When he spoke each word, it looked like it took a lot for him to ask. “No, not right now at least, there’s this one boy, but he’s not interested so it doesn’t really matter.” You shrugged, like the boy you were talking about wasn’t right next to you. “Idiot” he mumbled if you weren’t sitting so close to him you wouldn’t have heard him.

“Can i ask you a question Steven?” You whispered not exactly knowing where you were going with this. “Of course y/n” he nodded motioning for you to continue. “Do you think a guy will ever be interested in me romantically, be honest am I ‘girlfriend’ material?” You needed to know, cause what was the point in trying if you were never gonna get anywhere? Your breath hitched when Steven softly took your chin in between his fingers. “You are so much more” Steven smiled, god that smile did it for you every single time.

“You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met, you smile at me even if I was an ass to you the night before, so far you’ve remembered every single detail about me, like you really always let me draw invisible shapes on your skin when you see me getting anxious.” Your heart was pounding again, we’re you able to fall in love all over again when you already were? The answer has to be yes because that was what was happening. “You’re beautiful, you always have that pout on your lips when someone interrupts you, and the beauty mark that sometimes your self conscious about is beautiful too.” Steven’s rant stopped when he noticed you were crying.

“Hey, I’m sorry what’s wrong.” Steven grabbed your face in between his palms. “Don’t say stuff like that, cause then I’ll think you actually like me.” You closed your eyes, the feeling of his hands on your face somewhat calming you. “Hey,hey I like you, I really like you.” His confession made your eyes blink open again. “You really mean that?” Steven nodded his head his eyes shifting from your eyes down to your lips. “Can I kiss you butterfly?” You giggled mumbling a yes.

Steven Conklin was kissing you! Something you’ve dreamed about many times before, it was actually happening! His lips against yours was soft, it was like fireworks being lit, an unspoken declaration for the both of you. You were both in love with each other. Maybe you showed it more than him at times? But it was always there for him as well.

You pulled away after a minute, needing to catch your breath. “Wow.” You said against his lips. His forehead was pressed against yours. “Wow? really that’s all you have to say.” Steven laughed. “I just can’t believe this is happening.” You admitted shaking your head. “Well believe it cause your mine butterfly.” Yes.Yes.Yes you chanted in your head.

“Wait? aren’t you supposed to be at the party?” You asked curiously. Steven laughed nodding his head “yeah, but it didn’t feel right without my butterfly.” He quickly said before pulling you into another kiss.

His butterfly. His butterfly. His butterfly

You were his, and he was yours.

TAGS: @gillybear17 @snowsharkk @tessastle @conradsupporterr @alyssa-cabrera @eranthisphiny @xoxoloverb @lostaurorax @lanisdreams @alexzluvz @lalaland-notfound (I TAGGED SOME OF YOU WHO ASKED TO BE ON THE CONRAD TAGLIST! But if you don’t want to be on Steven’s just let me know!)

[averyhotchner]

Avery’s TopGun:Maverick Recommendation

hello! this is a list of my favourite TopGun: Maverick fics. it is mostly hangman and rooster (with a bit of love for my favourite wso). i absolutely adored every single fic/series on this list and hope some of you do too! also i didn’t include the warning for the fics, mostly because i forgot and didn’t feel like going back, but in general they are 16+, but please follow what the writers have put as the age limit. 

jake “hangman” seresin

sugar and spice (series)  by @wombtotombx

this series is so so so sweet. im an absolute sucker for enemies to lovers, but this just takes the cake. jake sersin may be a d*ck but he has good intentions so i can't help but love him. 

birds away (series) by @wombtotombx

another amazing series. i really love a good longtime friends to lovers. also the a little matchmaking on bradley’s end never hurts. 

sun-kissed (oneshot) by @ddejavvu

i want a candle that smells like jake seresin. thats all. 

bad habit (mini-series) by @seasonsbloom

again, enemies to lovers. this one is definitely a bit more tragic but nonetheless an amazing series that has you on the edge of your seat until the end. 

flyboy (mini-series) by @kryptonitejelly

this series is just the gift that keeps on giving. there is so so so much mutual pining but also just adoration between two people who have loved each other since high school. i honestly cannot recommend this series enough. 

they all know, he’s in love with you. (oneshot) @rolycolysficrecs

jake seresin couldn’t tell his head from his ass, and neither could i.

the professor (series) by @topguncortez

this series is so dirty holy. the title truly gives it away but the plot is heartbreakingly phenomenal.

the douche bag jar (series) by @jupitercometgold

this series makes me want to watch new girl. most of the above fics/series/ are about sweet jake, but this one gives me my fix of douche bag jake and i love it. 

better man (series) by @sweetlittlegingy

dad jake! dad jake! dad jake!

bradley “rooster” bradshaw

come back (series) by @ereardon

something about young frat boy bradley keeps me coming back to this series. hes sweet but will break your heart in all the worst ways, but will put it back together like it was a puzzle only meant for him. 

speak now (or forever hold your peace) (oneshot) by @softspiderling

i sobbed reading this. also i love a taylor inspired fic and this takes the cake.

same mistakes (series) by @hufflepuffprincesse

this series is one of my favourites, simply because of the way everyone is written as a big family. the love shared between everyone i so consuming, i can't help but find myself rereading the series every other week.

blooming (series) by @heartsofminds

rooster with commitment issues? check! rooster being sweet and respectful? check! penny behind the biggest hype man to ever exist? triple check!

come home (oneshot) by @winterscaptain

if you’ve followed me for long enough you’ll know that this is a tali appreciation blog, and that extends to tgm.

a safe place to land (series) by @thesewordsareallihavetogive

this series is just so good. its one of the first tgm series i read and it still holds up after my numerous rereads. 

is it working for you? (series) by @roosterforme

i picked this series, simply because its the gift that keeps on giving. its like the bradley version of flyboy. but truly anything emily writes is amazing.

robert “bob” floyd

coughs and cuddles (oneshot) by @topguncortez

happiest man alive (oneshot) by @footprintsinthesxnd

honorable mentions:

@honeypiehotchner @youlightmeupfinn @make-me-imagine @tongue-like-a-razor @katcoquette @madsnowstorm @croimilis @auroradawnwrites @almightyellie

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift Achieves Seventh No. 1 Album on Billboard 200 Chart & Biggest Week of 2020 With 'Folklore'

By: Keith Caulfield for Billboard Date: August 2nd 2020

Taylor Swift’s Folklore flies in at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart, capturing the biggest week for any album since Swift’s last release, 2019’s Lover. Folkore was released with little advance notice on July 24 and earns Swift her seventh No. 1 album.

Folklore starts with 846,000 equivalent album units earned in the U.S. in the week ending July 30, according to Nielsen Music/MRC Data. That marks the largest week registered for any album since Swift’s own Lover, which debuted at No. 1 on the Sept. 7, 2019-dated chart with 867,000 units.

Further, in the last four years, the three biggest weeks for any album have been racked up by Swift. Dating back to July of 2016, the three largest frames for any album are: Swift’s Reputation (1.24 million units, Dec. 2, 2017-dated chart), Lover (867,000) and Folklore (846,000).

Folklore’s debut of 846,000 equivalent album units is led by 615,000 in album sales, 218,000 in SEA units (equating to 289.85 million on-demand streams of the tracks on the album), 209,000 in album sales and 13,000 in TEA units.

Seventh No. 1 Album: Folklore marks Swift’s seventh No. 1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart, tying her with Janet Jackson for the third-most leaders among women in the history of the chart. Ahead of them on the leading ladies list are Barbra Streisand, with 11 No. 1s, and Madonna, with nine. Among all acts, The Beatles have the most No. 1 albums, with 19.

Before Folklore, Swift topped the chart with Lover (No. 1 for one week, Sept. 7, 2019-dated chart), Reputation (No. 1 for four weeks, 2017-18), 1989 (No. 1 for 11 weeks, 2014-15), Red (No. 1 for seven weeks, 2012-13), Speak Now (No. 1 for six weeks, 2010-11) and Fearless (No. 1 for 11 weeks, 2008-09).

Most No. 1 Debuts Among Women: All seven of Swift’s No. 1 albums have debuted at No. 1 - a record among female artists. Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Madonna and Britney Spears are tied with the second-most debuts at No. 1 among women, with six each. (Beyoncé, Gaga and Spears each have a total of six No. 1 albums - and all of them also debuted at No. 1. Meanwhile, six of Madonna's nine total No. 1s debuted atop the list.) Among all acts, Jay-Z has the most debuts at No. 1, with 14. All 14 of his No. 1 albums have debuted at No. 1.

2020’s Biggest Week for an Album, and Biggest for Any Album Since Swift’s Last Release, Lover: Folklore’s start of 846,000 equivalent album units marks the largest week for 2020 for any album. It blows past the previous high, which was registered just last month by the opening stanza of Juice WRLD’s Legends Never Die (497,000 units in the tracking week ending July 16; as reflected on the chart dated July 25). In addition, Folklore nabs the biggest week for any album since Swift’s last release, Lover, less than a year ago. It launched atop the list dated Sept. 7, 2019, with 867,000 units earned in the week ending Aug. 29, 2019.

Lover was released on Aug. 23, 2019. Unlike the surprise-released Folklore, Lover was preceded by months of traditional promotion, which began with the release of the set’s first single, “Me!,” featuring Brendon Urie, on April 26, 2019. Also, while Lover was available widely to purchase at all retailers in its first week, including Target, which carried four deluxe CD editions of the set, Folklore had a limited availability at retail in its first week. Folklore was only sold via Swift’s official webstore or via digital retailers. Folklore will be released on CD widely to all retailers on Aug. 7.

Swift Has the Three Biggest Weeks for Any Album in the Last Four Years: In the last four years, the three biggest weeks for any album have been racked up by Swift. Dating back to July of 2016, the three largest frames for any album were tallied by the debut weeks of Swift’s Reputation (1.24 million units, Dec. 2, 2017-dated chart), Lover (867,000) and Folklore (846,000). The last time anyone not named Taylor Swift had a bigger week than Folklore was Drake, who saw his Views album launch with 1.04 million units at No. 1 on the May 21, 2016-dated chart.

Biggest Sales Week for an Album Since Lover: Folklore sold 615,000 copies in its first week, marking the largest sales frame for any album since Swift’s Lover sold 679,000 copies in its debut week (Sept. 7, 2019-dated chart). As noted above, in Folklore’s first week of release, the album was only available to purchase through Swift’s website and digital retailers.

During the album’s first week, Swift’s webstore sold over a dozen physical/digital album bundles (with a CD, vinyl LP or cassette, plus the digital album). All of the physical/digital bundles delivered the digital version of the album upon purchase to the customer, while the physical version will ship to the customer later. Sales of such bundles - where two formats of the same album are bundled together - are counted as one sale, with the album configuration sold determined by the first version of the album that is fulfilled to the customer. Swift’s store additionally sold an array of merchandise/digital album bundles.

‘Folklore’ Is Already 2020’s Top Selling Album: With 615,000 copies sold of Folklore in its first week, the album has already become 2020’s top selling album. It surpasses the previous top-seller, BTS’ Map of the Soul: 7, which has sold 574,000 since its release on Feb. 21.

First Act to Have Seven Different Albums Sell at Least 500,000 in a Single Week: As Folklore sold 615,000 copies in its first week, Swift becomes the first act to have seven different albums each sell at least 500,000 copies in a single week, since Nielsen Music/MRC Data began electronically tracking music sales in 1991. Swift previously achieved half-million sales frames with the debut weeks of her last six full-length studio albums: Lover (679,000, in 2019), Reputation (1.216 million, in 2017), 1989 (1.287 million, 2014), Red (1.208 million, 2012), Speak Now (1.047 million, 2010) and Fearless (592,000; 2008). Swift was previously tied with Eminem, who has seen six of his albums each sell at least 500,000 copies in a week.

Largest Streaming Week of 2020 for an Album by a Woman: Folklore garnered 218,000 SEA units in its first week, which equals 289.85 million on-demand streams of its songs in its first week. That’s the biggest streaming week of 2020 for any album by a woman, and the biggest by a non-rap album this year. The only albums to generate bigger streaming frames in 2020 are two rap titles: Juice WRLD’s Legends Never Die, with 422.63 million in its opening week, and Lil Uzi Vert’s Eternal Atake, with 400.42 million and 348.72 million in its first and second weeks, respectively. Folklore’s 289.85 million streams also mark the second-biggest streaming week ever for an album by a woman, behind only the debut frame of Ariana Grande’s Thank U, Next (307.07 million; chart dated Feb. 23, 2019).

*** The Billboard 200 chart ranks the most popular albums of the week in the U.S. based on multi-metric consumption as measured in equivalent album units. Units comprise album sales, track equivalent albums (TEA) and streaming equivalent albums (SEA). Each unit equals one album sale, or 10 individual tracks sold from an album, or 3,750 ad-supported or 1,250 paid/subscription on-demand official audio and video streams generated by songs from an album. The new Aug. 8-dated chart (where Folklore bows at No. 1) will be posted in full on Billboard's website on Aug. 4.

[firewoodfigs]

soft asks ❤️#1 (except imma change the rules and say which Taylor Swift songs and which non-Taylor Swift songs bc ily)

also #5 and #12

HI FRIEND I hope you're having a lovely week so far *hugs* also i lol-ed when i saw you change the rules HAHAHA it's like you knew i was just gonna give a list of taylor swift songs... but ALRIGHT here we go!!!

#1 - what song makes you feel better?

taylor swift

when it rains, the entire folklore/evermore album makes me feel... not necessarily better, but it's so comforting in a strange, melancholic way if that makes sense LMAO. I JUST LIKE THE FOLKMORE SISTERS!!! i especially love this is me trying and august and 'tis the damn season...... so whimsical in a taylor-esque way... also this performance was IT... 

when i'm on the way to work and thinking about the stupid patriarchy while watching morons mansplain on the train and obnoxiously announce their private affairs and sleazy business i 100% have to listen to the 1989/reputation album and the man. (happy IWD everyone!!!)

when i'm upset i'll listen to red and the way i loved you and death by a thousand cuts, and when i'm in the mood for a pick me up i'll listen to the fearless and lover albums and the taylor swift album for the * immaculate country vibes * AND!!! SPEAK NOW because that album deserves to go down in history as one of the best ever self-written albums of all time!!!!!

OF COURSE NEVER FORGET ALL TOO WELL (10 min) (i just vomited out her entire repertoire didn't i. yes. yes i did.)

non-taylor swift

OH OH I LOOOVE the soundtracks from final fantasy i've been listening to it so much lately... there's this piece from final fantasy 7 called cloud smiles that is just... so moving and enlivening. makes me feel like everything's gonna be okay (even when the news seems to suggest otherwise) :'') aerith's theme still brings me to tears every time... also in my freshman year i would listen to the opening tracks of naruto & fma while walking up the hill to college just to get myself pumped for another day of (to quote bully maguire) putting dirt in people's eyes!!! YEAH!!! (never forget that one time i paced around the hallways listening to melissa while waiting for my turn to moot. and i got an A! works like a charm every time! the power of fma!)

#5 - who do you feel most you around?

my lover (and myself, tbh), and my group of close friends who i've decided i must keep closer than family or my enemies because they know too much about me at this point LOL. i feel like i show different versions of myself in different situations / to different people if that makes sense? i've been told i do that a lot in group settings (actually subconsciously) to liven up the mood and make people feel comfortable so it's always nice to just be able to lie down and strip myself of all pretences and listen to august on loop like a mad woman :')

#12 - how are you?

i am good, i think!! tired and worn out and feeling like a threadbare rug but i'm gearing myself up and doing my best to stay hopeful while helping out and showing love in whatever small way i can :)

[writingwhywhywhy]

Right Where You Left Me

A/N: This is for @idkhaylijah 3K follower count. I love her a lot, so maybe follow her? I did Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift and um I decided to edit in a happier ending. I would like it to be noted that, like most Marvel Fans, I take cannon as a suggestion at best.

You looked at Steve, not hearing his words. You had dressed up to the nines. The past year was crazy. Yet what he just said was crazier. You looked at him. You tried to find the elegant way to say what the hell. No matter what, you could not come up with words. Any words would work. You knew you could speak but words would die before reaching your tongue.

"I am going back in time. Back to Peggy." Steve repeated without you needing to ask.

You wanted to laugh. This had to be a joke. A lot of things could happen and you had seen most of it while dating Steve, but time traveling to a dead ex was crazy. Peggy had a full life and she had lived it already. You had seen pictures of her husband and he sure as hell was not Steve. This had to be a joke. Logic would not let you believe otherwise.

"To the founder of Shield?”

“Yes.” Steve sighed, almost annoyed.

There was no way Steve was throwing way the future you could build to run off to a woman, who had lived her life. She had kids and a husband. She may have adopted but she had a husband, who had lived a happy life. Steve was reasonable, and he was level headed. Steve could not be suggesting the impossible. So what the hell was he talking about?

"I just thought I should let you know where I'm going." He said.

You almost laughed. A gracious man letting you know that he was leaving the time you existed in to time travel backwards to a formerly and/or currently married woman. What the hell was wrong with him? No sane person would ever consider this. You were going to scream.

Steve stared at you like he expected your blessing. "When do you leave?" You asked.

"After this." He said.

This, like you weren't wanted. This, like it was normal. This, like he had never told you he loved you. This, like you were a task on his to do list. This, like you had not expected a proposal tonight when he called and said you two were going out to talk about the future. This, that word broke you.

You stared at him. You looked at him. You kept your eyes on him. You were sure this was not an illusion. There he was, and he was yours a few moments ago. You looked at him and took in what you saw. It was true and you were not imaging it. He was going to leave you for a dead woman and it was just as natural to him as breathing. You remembered his story about asthma and how the serum fixed it.  With all the difficulties he used to have, this truly was as natural as breathing for him. Part of you wanted to laugh at your own twisted joke.

“Sure you can go. If the plan does not work, feel free to come back.” You somehow managed to say.

Steve took you in for a moment. Then he left and you made it home. You were sure that when you opened your eyes tomorrow, Steve would be there. He had to be. This was a bad dream you had to endure. 

You got up the following day. You went about your normal routine. You called Steve’s cellphone. There was no answer. You knew that there was no way he had done what he had said. Peggy had been married and she had a family. Steve would be back, if he had time traveled at all. 

You kept up with the motions of life and you kept calling Steve’s cellphone as long as it was in service.There was nothing wrong with that. You just stopped dating. You had, what you would have called, a normal reaction to your boyfriend leaving you for a dead woman by time traveling back to her. You still replayed that evening over in your mind and you still knew he would be back.

Like what could he want there. What could he be doing with her? Did they become the normal American family? You could see Peggy and him in a Norman Rockwell painting. Steve would never be satisfied with that. Even if he could be, Peggy would never be. She always forms S.H.I.E.L.D. and she always spent her life kicking butt. They would not fall into such a dully normal life.

Your life went on, without your full engagement until Sam knocked on your door. You invited him in. “I need you to face what Steve did.” Sam said

“Why?”

“Bucky is following your lead and will not acknowledge that Steve is gone. You have to face this so he can.”

“You act like we love Steve in the same way.”

“The two of you always did.”

You were processing what he said, when he added a new bombshell. “I saw the older version of him. He gave me the shield. Y/N, he is not coming back.” And as if you needed proof, he pulled it out and showed you.

You were struck silent. You had felt something inside shatter. “I wish it wasn’t the case, but this is the path that Steve chose.”

“Thank you, Sam. I will call Bucky.” You said, just to get him to leave.

Sam could tell you were lying, but he did not want to start a fight with a broken woman. 

“Hey you make a great Captain America.” you said as he left.

“Thanks.” You could hear the hint of sadness, that indicated he never wanted the job if it meant he lost his best friend.

You called Bucky. “You got a visit from Sam also?” He asked instead of hello.

“Steve has to be coming back.”

“I know, but Sam has the shield.”

“Maybe Steve wants to retire?”

“Or he just wants to use a different weapon?”

“All valid reasons to give the shields away.”

There was silence. “You know, you are the first person to talk sensible to me about Steve. It is nice to have someone. Would you like to do this more often?” Bucky asked.

“Sure.” You said.

So you kept your life the same but included Bucky in a few times a week. The only thing the two of you talked about at first was Steve. About 3 stories in, you could tell Bucky was in love with Steve. It hurt, but it felt good to finally have someone who agreed that Steve was going to come back. Slowly, the two of you started talking about other things. 

Sam hated the fact that the two of you wouldn’t face the facts, but what choice did either of you have. The man you both loved had left you in the future. Sam stopped trying to directly force you and Bucky to face the fact Steve was not coming back. Sam had taken the Captain America mantle a few days after you started to meet up with Bucky. Bucky and you talked about how it would be easier for Steve to retire when he got back. It was two years of delusions before the night it changed.

Bucky was walking you home like he normally did. You were walking a bit close. There was a chill in the air the two of you were ignoring. “Then Steve ended up throwing up. He never went to Coney Island with me again and swore to make me pay.” Bucky said, smiling.

You pushed down the feelings that had been developing over the past two years down again. You would never tell him but you preferred Bucky’s smile to Steve’s. Steve smiled like he had never known hardship, but Bucky smiled like life had hurt him but this moment was better than the rest. Steve had a smile that lit up a room, but Bucky smiled just for the one person. It felt personal and you liked that. You never felt like you had to share Bucky.

It was still a bit of a walk to your apartment, and it seemed to grow a bit colder as you walked. You cursed yourself for leaving your jacket at work. You were going to make it back to your apartment. You were going to overcome the cold. Mind over matter. You were strong and it wasn’t that cold. Then you shivered. 

“You should have brought your jacket.”

“I heard the cold builds character.”

“You look like you are going to be a Popsicle.”

You felt like you were becoming one, but you were not about to let him know that especially after he told you about his metal arm. If it got too cold, it could malfunction. Failing to do that, it would make him extremely cold on that side. You were fine and not sporting a cold metal arm on your left side. “I will be fine.”

Bucky stopped you and took off his coat. As he wrapped you in it, his hands grazed your shoulders. You shivered again, but not from the cold. Bucky, with his hands still on his jacket, he looked you in the eyes and said “Sorry, metal arm.” 

You would have formed some words to tell him the arm did not bother you, but you found all words escaped you. Your eyes slipped to Bucky’s lips and you felt those feelings that you thought you had shoved down and out, surfaced. You saw the same want reflecting in his eyes. He leaned down and kissed you. One moment you had been freezing, and now you were melting into him. And for the first time since Steve had left, the two of you did not miss him.

[alwaysmarilynmonroe]

I’m currently discovering a lot about MM and I was curious about Joan Collins talking about the casting couch. I saw that you don’t believe they met but I’ve seen several sources saying they met at a party hosted by Gene Kelly. Do you think Joan might have extrapolated the story to say Marilyn did the couch casting just because of her warning? It doesn’t ring true to me that MM would tell a stranger about this and I dislike the idea that it renews this myth that she slept her way to the top.

If Joan and Marilyn met to have a full blown conversation and become fairly acquainted, I personally have never found evidence of that.

However, they did attend a studio screening of There’s No Business Like Show Business in 1954, as pictured here; Marilyn’s on the seventh row back and Joan is on fifth.

Joan never attained Marilyn’s level of Stardom until decades later, when she starred in Dynasty in the 1980s, she was making films in the 1950s, but none were on the same level of success as Marilyn’s.

I have read what Joan has said - I will attach it here for others to read, which she wrote about first in her autobiography in 1978.

“Shortly after arriving in Hollywood aged 21, under contract to 20th Century Fox, I attended a party at Gene Kelly’s house. The star of An American In Paris and Singin’ In The Rain hosted a weekly gathering for an eclectic group of movie industry power-brokers, A-list actors and actresses, intellectuals and his friends. It was where I first met Marilyn Monroe.

At first I didn’t recognise the blonde sitting alone at the bar. Suddenly, it dawned on me that the woman in front of me was the legendary figure herself. We started chatting and after a couple of martinis, Marilyn poured out a cautionary tale of sexual harassment she and other actresses endured from, “the wolves in this town”.

I replied that I was well used to “wolves” after a few years in the British film industry. I decided it definitely wasn’t something I’d put up with. I told Marilyn I was well prepared to deal with men patting my bottom, leering down my cleavage and whatever else.

She shook her head. “There’s nothing like the power of the studio bosses here, honey. If they don’t get what they want, they’ll drop you. It’s happened to lots of gals. ‘Specially watch out for Zanuck. If he doesn’t get what he wants, honey, he’ll drop your contract.” It was a timely warning, because days later, Darryl Zanuck, vice-president of production at 20th Century Fox, pounced.

Hollywood studio bosses considered it their due to b*** all the good-looking women who came their way and were notorious for it. Harry Cohn at Columbia Pictures, for example, had no qualms about firing any starlet who rejected him. He was totally amoral.

Another role I coveted was that of Cleopatra. The head of 20th Century Fox at the time, Buddy Adler, and the chairman of the board — [Spyros Skouras], a Greek gentleman old enough to be my grandfather — bombarded me with propositions and promises that the role was mine if I would be, “nice” to them. It was a euphemism prevalent in Hollywood. I couldn’t and I wouldn’t — the very thought of these old men was utterly repugnant. So, I dodged and I dived, and hid from them around the lot and made excuses while undergoing endless screen tests for the role of Egypt’s Queen.

At one point, Mr Adler told me at a party that I would have “the pick of the scripts” after Cleopatra and he would set me up in an apartment he would pay for as long as he could come to visit me three or four times a week.

Running out of excuses, I blurted out: “Mr Adler, I came here with my agent, Jay Kanter. Why don’t we discuss the deal with him?” “Honey, you have quite a sense of humour,” he spluttered. “And a sense of humour is all you’ll ever get from me,” I murmured as I left. In due course, Elizabeth Taylor got the role.

But it wasn’t just studio bosses and producers who were predatory. Many actors I worked with considered it their divine right to have sex with their leading lady. Anyone naive enough to believe the era of the casting couch had been consigned to history will have been shocked by the Weinstein scandal and the predatory institutional sexism of Hollywood power brokers it has revealed.

But it’s not just the film industry that’s been complicit in sanctioning this appalling behaviour, and it’s not just actresses subjected to it. It may occur in any business dominated by powerful, ruthless and misogynistic men, and it’s women (sometimes men) in subservient positions who are unfortunate enough to have to deal with them.”

Regarding the anecdote, it frustrates me quite a bit for the following number of reasons;

- As previously mentioned, Joan was not a huge star in the 1950s/early 1960s as she’s suggesting. Elizabeth Taylor famously received $1,000,000 for the starring role in Cleopatra (1963) and as far as I’m aware, Joan was never in the running - I don’t think any other Star was, not long term anyway. So I’m not really sure why she’s saying that..

- Marilyn was NOT I repeate NOT liked by Daryl Zanuck, he wasn’t a nice person (that’s putting it politely) and could never understand the hype around Marilyn.

Even before she was starring in huge movies she was receiving thousands of fan mail letters every week at the Studio, so much so that Zanuck reluctantly realised the money she could bring to him/20th Century Fox’s films and kept her on.

She’d already had a short term contract previously in 1947, that was not renewed. Clearly if she was sleeping with Zanuck this would not have been the case.

Furthermore, one of the only nice things Zanuck said about Marilyn was the following, “Nobody discovered her, she earned her way to stardom.”

Even being THE blonde in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) Marilyn did not have her own Dressing Room during filming.. Again, if she was sleeping with the Studio Head, you’d think she could at least have her own room.

- As for the Hollywood, “Wolves” Joan is right, Marilyn did speak out about them, she even had an article posted in January 1953 Motion Picture Magazine titled, “Wolves I Have Known.”

However Marilyn’s own words go completely against Joan’s version as she famously discussed her rejection of Studio Head, Harry Cohn’s weekend on his yacht proposition. She asked him if his wife would be joining them and he did not take this well. So much so that she was dropped from her six month contract with Columbia and never worked for them again. Therefore I find it pretty strange she doesn’t mention that when talking about him..

Marilyn also mentions numerous anecdotes in her ghostwritten by Ben Hecht autobiography, “My Story” which was based on interviews between the two.

Lastly, I just want to add that if Marilyn or any other Star slept with any Studio Staff (I used that phrase lightly as the casting couch is hardly any form of consent) then I would never judge any of them. The whole situation makes me sick and is not only assault but a huge abuse of power, fuelled by misogyny and sexism. Even now the woman is the one who is shamed and degraded, when the instigator and abuser is not condemned and reputation stays intact.

I’m simply saying that instead of listening to other words, take them with a pinch of salt and listen to Marilyn’s actual words herself. It’s her story and ultimately if others are going to talk about it, she should at least have them tell the truth.

[aliveandfullofjoy]

Review: American Utopia (Lee, 2020)

"We're a work in progress. We're not fixed. Our brains can change. Maybe those millions of connections in our brain that got pruned and eliminated when we were babies somehow get kind of reestablished. Only now, instead of being in our heads, they're between us and other people. Who we are is thankfully not just here, but it extends beyond ourselves through the connections between all of us."

I did not have "become a David Byrne stan" on my 2020 bingo card, but here we are! After having my tiny mind blown by Stop Making Sense a few months ago, I was insanely excited to check out Spike Lee's proshot capture of David Byrne's American Utopia. It didn't disappoint; about thirty minutes in, in the middle of "Slippery People," I caught myself thinking something that hardly ever crosses my mind: "I don't want this to end." Staged by Annie-B Parson (with Tony-nominated director Alex Timbers as production consultant) and anchored on Byrne's unique charisma, American Utopia is a dizzying joyful performance experience. While not offering the audience a narrative in the traditional sense, Byrne's spoken interludes and the kaleidoscopic puzzles in the lyrics of the songs point to a wider, almost unspoken thesis. It's right there in the title: this is a dream of what this country could be, in its own way.

American Utopia, as both a film and a stage show, is a feast for the senses. Visually, the simple, uniform costumes and the beautifully minimal set mesh perfectly with the dazzling lighting design (courtesy of designer Rob Sinclair and captured on film by cinematographer Ellen Kuras). As for the aural side of things... well, it's no secret that Byrne is a once-in-a-lifetime musical genius (sorry, I couldn't resist), but it is genuinely incredible to watch (and hear!) the 68-year-old carry this massive show on his back. Also, his voice is ridiculously healthy -- at some point near the end, I turned to my girlfriend and said something like "How does he still sound this good?!" And kudos to Philip Stockton and Michael Lonsdale, the film's sound team, for masterfully balancing a raucous audience with a complicated and layered musical soundscape.

In Stop Making Sense, Byrne is a well of endless energy, a live wire who moves through the space around him almost like a pinball. In American Utopia, nearly forty years later, he's far more grounded: he can command an audience's attention like few others, but his relative stillness leaves plenty of room for the eleven world-class performers around him. You need to know their names because this ensemble is impeccable and at least 75% of the reason that American Utopia works as well as it does: Jacquelene Acevedo, Gustavo Di Dalva, Daniel Freedman, Chris Giarmo, Tim Keiper, Tendayi Kuumba, Karl Mansfield, Mauro Refosco, Stephane San Juan Angie Swan, and Bobby Wooten III. Whether they're dancing, singing, playing guitar, playing bass, playing the keys, or playing any of the instruments in the endless percussion carousel, they're entrancing.

The highlights are too many to count: "Here," the opening number; "This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)," one of the most romantic songs ever written; the dadaist anthem "I Zimbra;" "Slippery People," one of my favorites," "Everybody's Coming to My House," which makes me cry for reasons I can't pin down (especially that end credits version); "Once in a Lifetime," one of the most indisputably iconic songs ever written; "Toe Jam," which has been my most consistent source of serotonin over the last week; the beautiful quasi-finale "One Fine Day;" the infectiously joyful "Road to Nowhere." Also worth mentioning (as many already have) is "Hell You Talmbout," a cover of Janelle Monáe's protest song that specifically invokes the names of various African-Americans killed in encounters with the police and in racial violence. This predominately-white Broadway audience is prompted to say their names with the performers: Eric Garner. Sandra Bland. Trayvon Martin. Emmett Till. Spike Lee gracefully caps this segment with three additions to this list: Ahmaud Abery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. It's as angry and as cathartic as the show gets; its rage and sorrow give American Utopia that much more urgency.

I think the thing I admire the most about Byrne's performance persona is how deeply and sincerely he believes the words that come out of his mouth. Whether he's singing or speaking, there is not a shred of pretense about him. The same is true of the show itself: American Utopia, as captured by Lee, as staged by Parson, as performed by this tremendous cast, is a beautiful, compassionate, humanist masterwork. I loved it so much.

And good God, do I miss live theatre.