#also ofc a lot of the classes have a lot of nuance to them

[ihatebrainstorm]

Got assignments breathing down my neck as I speak, but idc it's self indulgent hour

Anyways MTMTE characters as TF2 merc classes based off what I think they'd choose (doesn't mean they'll be good at it), what combat style they prefer, or what TF2 character's personality I think they'd match:

Disclaimer: Most of the ppl in Spy class I think would choose it for purely trolling purposes, or would think they're great at it but actually suck ass- Also not like a serious thingy, I just wanted to figure out what class I think they'd play lmao

[tirfpikachu]

whats a tirf

a tirf is a trans-inclusive/nuanced radical feminist!

many of us tirfs have been harmed by both normie tra spaces and normie radfem spaces, so we want our own corner. many of us are detrans, trans, or have a lot of trans friends we cherish, and we're building a corner of the radfem community dedicated to figuring out the increasingly bothersome issues between the feminist community & the lgbt community and boosting all misogyny-affected voices.

nuancefems - radfems who are often shamed for their nuanced takes, especially but not exclusively on tra/lgbt topics - in general might agree with us on a lot of things, but tirfs are those who focus a significant part of their activism on tra-radfem relations and actively fixing all the rampant issues between the two communities. we deeply care about all misogyny-affected people, homophobia-affected people, exclusive same-sex attracted folks and all gnc people. we are against the rampant misogyny & homophobia of tra spaces, while also not believing in the typical terf rhetoric and demonization of dysphoric people & trans/nonbinary-identified gnc people. we believe that despite what mainstream lgbtq/tra spaces may have forced on us, it'll always be essential to discuss sex-based ("agab" based, anti-ofab/female) oppression, and homosexual (what you may call exclusive afab4afab & amab4amab) rights in feminism. we also believe that in our tirfy corner of radical feminism, it's important to discuss the complex experiences that trans people may have under the heteropatriarchy and support dysphoric people and try to find productive solutions to all these struggles. we also try to educate more tras on what radical feminism actually is.

for us, we use male to mean what you'd call amab or tma, but we'd call male people omab as sex is observed, not assigned, unless it was done so wrongly in intersex/dsd cases. and ofc female = afab/ofab. while trans men might be ofab, or female, they are still men in the gender category or strongly align with it due to dysphoria. even if they aren't transitioned, we as tirfs see their dysphoric experience as often being different than normie female experiences and deserving proper gendering and accommodations. the same of course goes for trans women who are omab/male yet also often transition into facing misogyny, thus very much needing feminism & deserving their voices heard as well; and even if they don't transition, they still have dysphoric gnc experiences that can have them face horrific harm, and by existing as gnc, as transfems, they are going against the patriarchy by aligning with the "lower" class. transmascs who haven't transitioned yet or never plan to are also still deviating from the path set ahead for female/ofab people as well, and the experience of dysphoria - social and/or physical - is still often very debilitating and deserving of analysis and compassion from the tirfy side of radblr.

we tirfs may talk a lot about gnc and trans topics, but we care first and foremost about misogyny-affected individuals in our radical feminism. we still deeply care about gnc, trans & detrans people as well though, and believe that hearing them out can often provides us valuable information that may help us better understand the patriarchy. we believe in tangible experience: whoever faces the blunt of gncphobia - including transmisogyny - should speak on it the loudest, and whoever is born into facing misogyny from a young age due to their female body, or who has experienced tangible misogyny in their day-to-day life, should have their voices boosted on those specific issues in tirf spaces. others should learn to be good allies. if someone is marginalized one way and not the other, they still need to put in the work and become a strong ally, not just idly stand by.

sex-based oppression is something only ofab/female people face (and intersex ppl in some cases). by this i mean misogyny from birth or even before birth, facing childhood misogyny, and misogyny related to female bodies such as genital mutilation, reproductive misogyny, medical misogyny against female people specifically, historical misogyny and its long-lasting effects on female folks, sexual abuse and slavery meant specifically towards female-bodied people, and all abuse involving the person's femaleness in ways that don't include non-intersex male people; transfems might face related misogyny if they're assumed to be female, but if it refers to female functions they do not have this is misdirected misogyny. in the same vein as how transmasc people who transition and are still feminine might face horrific transmisogyny if assumed to have a gnc male body, they usually know it is misdirected, conditional transmisogyny. it can obviously still be incredibly harmful, but in this case you are still not the intended target. and for example with abortion rights it would be highly inappropriate for transfems to center themselves in the discussion when they cannot truly face this form of misogyny.

tirfs believe that while cis/bio women and transmasc people should actively learn to be good allies to transfems, be respectful, and moderate the rampant transmisogyny in their spaces, transfems also need to learn to be good allies to us and recognize their privilege from not facing misogyny in childhood and not having female-unique issues. they also need to moderate their own spaces for the awful "cotton ceiling" rhetoric, threats and sexual violence from transfems with a penis, guilt-tripping into male/female sex especially with homosexual female/ofab people, misogynistic views of female bodies, openly agp creeps positioning themselves as transfems, and anything involving transfems who did not do the work to unlearn their omab upbringing. it's unfortunate that this even needs to be moderated, and i don't believe most transfems are like this, but it is a huge issue that is going unaddressed and it's a big reason why cis/bio women and transmasc people are flocking to radblr right now.

for those who do not agree with terf rhetoric, tirfism is carving out a space for those tras to find shelter and recover from the misogyny & homophobia they faced in tra spaces. we also take in transfems who are tired of their nuanced voices getting shut down or being called bootlickers for speaking up for female/ofab rights and being a good ally. tirfs at the end of the day want equal allyship between female people, homosexual ppl, transfems, transmascs and all gnc people, as we are all affected by the heteropatriarchy. we also want proper care for trans people and preventative measures within healthcare and in tra communities to prevent more heartbreaking detransitions, which harm not just detrans people but also add to trans stigma.

people might say we're not radfem enough for radblr, or too radfem for lgbt or queer spaces, but we're too tired of the bullshit to give up.

side note - not all tirfs are as nuanced. there have been waves in the past of self-proclaimed tirfs that were decidedly not radical, and constantly downplayed female (and homosexual) rights. my kind of radfeminism includes misogyny-affected transfems, but my fellow tirfs and i do not just want to water down radical feminism or enable people to cause more harm to female folks. as a detrans lesbian i know firsthand how much harm libfem tras can cause. tirfism is about including misogyny-affected dysphoric voices into the conversation, and exploring diverse experiences. some issues are unique to female people and homosexuals, and that's alright! some issues are also unique to transfems, to transmascs, or to all trans ppl. we want to put an end to all misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia/stigma.

that's tirfism to me, anyways!

[prettyboykatsuki]

can you please elaborate more on why gojo being a man is important cus I actually didn't get it 😅

sure!!! though i am limited in braincells after wasting away on this paper.

the best way i can describe is that gojo is like... the pinnacle of power. and the jjk world isn't exempt from wordly misogyny, it exists in it and maki experiences it as part of her story etc. so in that sense i think gojo being a prodigal son is necessary.

but the way im talking about it is more in the idea of what it means to be a man by social expectations and how men engage with each other. a lot of characters in anime don't actually have their gender contribute to them in anyway - because doing that takes a kind of awareness about those roles that a lot of shounens just outright lack. or the ways they do matter don't really contribute to who they are. its a little complicated but like. bluelock is a shounen that rlly needs the cast to be boys and bnha imo is not.

i find that queer manga (and by extension jjk) do a better job at making even a cishet characters and gender relevant. you get the feeling that the role they play and exist in, the problems they face or their character is shaped by that identity. i think satoru exists in the same way. the way he leads mimics fatherhood (in the sense that he is distanced but still trying to be there for his students), and even his submission is rooted in a sense of masculine social expectation. strong and tough and enduring, even though he is outwardly frivlous. even that jokester caricature is bred from being silly and ridiculous like the class clown boys you go to school with. the weight of the burden he carries, the extent in which he isolates, the idea of being the strongest. he also has a naturally born audaciousness that feels uniquely like a man lmaooo

im not saying a woman like satoru can't exist ofc! but the way satoru internalizes his responsibilities and how he approaches his vulnerabilities feels reflective of men and socialization for men in that sense. he is a man to me, of the nuanced variety. its part of what makes his relationship to toji interesting as well - because toji is a man fully realized but gojo is not. he never stops being a boy, never really grows into a man but still carries the burden of manhood along side him. it's so interlocked with his position and role in life, and also a part of the reason i don't perceive him as very feminine. whiny and noisy? yes, but strangely still distinctly masculine.

this is also why i think the idea of a transmasc satoru makes sense, though i typically hc him as cis. i think transmasculinity and the internal pressure to behave as a man, to endure as a man, adds a lot to his story - a layer of complexity that's interesting to explore. it would also mirror a transfem suguru that i also have a lot of personal theory for.

this is so incoherent im sorry but my point is basically that the way gojo handles power and is expected to handle power, has innate remnant of masculinity that i think was p innate to him. gojo being a man is like... an important element of how he carries himself

[ender--slime]

i wanna share some thoughts i have about. some stuff i guess!!

i think the way people treat post canon, no matter which team was writing it or which version of it you’re looking at, is also similar to the way people treat. literally any other artist in this fandom. which is “your interpretation is Wrong and that means your art and morals are Bad”

which is sad to me because. we all took english classes right? we all learned about different literary lenses and different ways to interpret a piece of media. and that everyone can have different takeaways from the same thing. and they might not be equal or even the authors intent but like. that’s okay. it’s not that serious. sometimes a person is 14 or like. just cares more about Background Character than anyone else. and that’s okay!

i’ve been reading homestuck with a friend who’s never read it before- she works on the fanadventures with me and it’s simply required reading :p And she said something a lil bit ago, basically that she reads the kids as a lot older than 13. she doesn’t feel as though they are written as realistic 13 year olds- 15-16, for sure. but 13? to my friend, not so much.

and that got me thinking about the way people treat HSAU. “why’d you age them up? they were written to be 13 for a reason!” is definitely a valid critique i think, if you yourself had that interpretation of the original character writing. but if you’re my friend, who feels as though they act a bit old to be 13, aging them up probably makes a lot of sense. i think she’d really like HSAU. also because i showed her the ranma 1/2 june scene and she CRIED. on that note- “why did june come out so early?” probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to someone who enjoys post-game adult trans headcanons, but it’s simply the same thing post canon is doing. a What If. What if Egbert realizes she’s a woman at age 40? What if she realizes it at age 18? What are the different themes and interpretations that can be found in both of these headcanons? what personal experiences and interpretations of the post canon and HSBC writers can be found in PQ trans vriska? or middle aged june egbert? what personal experiences and interpretations of a certain content creator can be found in a teenaged june egbert reading ranma 1/2?

artists rip out their hearts and draw them, paint them, write them, compose them onto a canvas for Us to see. what more must they do simply to get Our approval? in this late late late stage capitalist society, must we demand that artists make art for Us? and not for themselves? are we not lucky to be surrounded by so many cakes?

i have all the drawings my partner has ever made me on display in my room. she doesn’t draw very well- but they are so special. they look about the same as an elementary schoolers art skills- like the Little Chuck E kid who visits me at work. but to me they are the most amazing pieces of art in the world!!

all the art we make has our own hearts and souls poured into it. and that’s pretty cool.

this is my tumblr exclusive opinion twitter doesn’t get to see this one shhhhhh also i am not accounting for every nuance of media literacy and analysis ofc im just yapping. so plz don’t kill me or whatever

[cohendyke]

Hiiiii :)

I just saw you on my feed talking about the show „Under the bridge“ which I started and am totally obsessed with because I love lily Gladstone and ✨butch women✨ but on a more serious note I wanted to ask if you are maybe personally a fan of Lily ? Because just like I said I’m a fan of her and I have been following her for 3 years now and with the on going situation about the met gala, her playing a cop in this show.. and not really speaking up about Palestine the way I expected, makes me kinda sad and uncomfortable. I know celebrity worship is not positive in any way but I always liked her acting and also the way she seems to be when not on camera. I know I can’t say much about her because I don’t know her personally but I said to myself kind of ironically before the met began „I‘m gonna stop supporting everyone who will be there“ but I kinda meant it and seeing lily there made me sad knowing that she would be willing to pay 75k for this sh!t is not it for me. Idk maybe I‘m overreacting I‘m just not really happy about what‘s happening lately when I thought some celebs actually stand on the right side but it turns out most don‘t care one bit about others and us the working class ofc.

Could you maybe tell me your thoughts on this ?

To start off I don't really keep up with the met gala/celebrities in general and I haven't heard of any specific controversies with the met gala this year? All I really know about it is that it's a fundraiser for the costume section of the met museum and she was there this year. so even if she did pay for the ticket the money goes directly to that non-profit cause. Take this with a grain of salt though because I really don't put any effort into keeping up with events like these. maybe i should but i'm just not particularly interested :) anyway this is quite long so i will put the rest under a cut.

as for her playing a cop- i think it's a good thing- her character occupies such a nuanced space; she's queer, a first nations woman adopted into a white cop family. yes she's a cop as well, but she's also a victim to that institution in a lot of the same ways reena was, and i think it makes for a great plot where she's forced to reckon with the institution she's a part of even though she is a marginalized woman in many ways. (i dont want to cite any specific things from the show because i don't really want to spoil anyone since the newest episode came out only yesterday, but there are several parallels between her and reena.)

As for her activism, with celebrities in general i don't necessarily look to them for moral guidelines. that isn't to say that i support any celebrities in any way with heinous views, but i'm also not keeping tabs on everything a celebrity who's work i enjoy has said about x y z issue. while i, too would imagine that she is sympathetic towards palestinians, i think it's not really fair to expect lily to take on every single issue concerning indigenous people around the world, seeing as indigenous people in north america alone are still in a shitty position (in terms of mmiw, threats to their land, mental health crises, natural disasters, and these are issues off the top of my head.) i think i also hold this opinion because i am a pretty privileged white woman and i think it would be beyond hypocritical to point at lily and go "you're not being a good activist for palestinians even though you're indigenous yourself!!" and this goes beyond whether i think of myself as a good activist or not. i also think that since she's really just 'broken through,' she doesnt want/maybe has been told not to rock the boat in that way in order to protect her future career, though i honestly dont know. it's not an excuse for not speaking out, but it's just something that came across my mind. again, take this all with a grain of salt.

[acewitch-writes]

i dont think remus can be solely blamed for not believing in sirius blindly tho. that doesnt mean that sirius cant be angry, but like, the entirety of the wizarding world was convinced sirius did it both because there were witnesses that heard peter scream how sirius was to blame for james and lily's death, then saw him sirius "kill him", and sirius was driven mad with grief and practically confessing when they arrested him. that doesnt mean it wouldnt be interesting to explore that while recognizing remus' flaws (there's a lot of fics doing that), but like. it's not so black and white. was remus supposed to suspect peter, his other bff and the new martyr? and given that sirius also suspected him, so we can probably infer there was even more going on that we dont know about. idk i think it's more interesting when both characters are both right and wrong at the same time (while holding both accountable AND giving them their rightful moments of anger, ofc, i hate one-sided shit lmao)

I agree! I will defend Remus to my dying breath. There's definitely a LOT more nuance than "Remus should have trusted Sirius."

Remus never had malicious intentions with anything he ever did. When he distanced himself from the Marauders during the war, he had orders from Dumbledore to stay quiet about his secret missions. And I know we all hate Dumbles around here, but Remus respected and revered him and was terrified of disappointing him. So obviously he went along with it.

So now Sirius is starting to suspect him because Remus can never explain his whereabouts. They're fresh out of school, living in a world that hates werewolves and Remus is already struggling enough that James has to support him financially. There's so much story to explore during this short period of time, themes of prejudice and class divisions and discrimination. It makes sense that Sirius would consider the possibility that Remus could be lead astray when the "bad guys" were promising to make life better for werewolves while Remus was fighting for the "good" side that made no such promises.

So no, we can't place all the blame on Remus. He was a kid, too, thrown into a war immediately after school. He knew that he was the only werewolf on the Order's side, and the weight of that must have been overwhelming for REMUS, the coward with a predisposition for running away from his problems (a trait of his that Sirius was probably well aware of, further cementing his belief that Remus could be the traitor).

Remus believing that Sirius could have betrayed James is one thing I really struggle to get my mind around. I like to imagine that some part of him doubted his guilt, but as a werewolf living alone in a society that hates werewolves, recently bereaved of every person he had ever loved, I don't think there was anything Remus could have done even if he was in the right state of mind to do it. Especially not when Dumbledore, the man Remus looked up to the most and the one he would be most likely to address these doubts with, also seemed convinced of Sirius' guilt.

The way the fandom tries to blame one or the other (these days, usually Sirius) for what happened to James and Lily is frustrating. They are both very flawed characters, and they both have things they need to answer for.

I hope this is coherent. I feel like I just rambled in circles.

[corruptedplaylist]

looking out for you: act ii behind the scenes

just pretending like im on a talk show i am both the interviewer and the host <3

motivation for writing the lance and keith solo chapters

i've been raring to write the solo winter break chapters (i just called them the winter break interlude in my head for a bit) since september/october actually. i viewed it as my reward for finishing act ii 💀 not just because i love angst but also i love a good character study/character development heavy chapter and i really got to dig into each character and their home lives.

the foundation of this fic is entirely based on my dissatisfaction with how the show progressed and ended and subsequent self-indulgence— i've just been addressing a lot of the issues i had with vld. one such issue for me was the lack of in-depth character development. i enjoy a good romance as much as the next person but i really wanted to understand keith and lance as individuals who functioned outside of each other and the context of the group, and the solo chapters were a great writing exercise for me in terms of characterization and character-driven storytelling. so let's get into it baby!

lance's section (chapter 11) first.

we never got to see lance's growth as a character beyond "the dumb one" or the guy who cracks jokes for the sake of the team. the smaller vulnerable moments lance had, where he broke down and felt like he was useless and tried to leave the team or when he admitted he missed his family and Earth— they never got properly resolved. i think lance's identity as a 1.5 generation immigrant (immigrating to the States as a little kid) as well as his status as the youngest in a large family impacted his thought process and self-perception and i wanted to showcase that.

for children especially, immigration can be traumatic. i know "trauma" is an oversaturated buzzword used in pop psychology these days but i refer its definition as something established in one of my classes: "an event or series of events that is perceived as frightening, distressing, or life-threatening and has long-lasting effects on the survivor's emotional, social, mental, and physical processes." i imagine that for a 5-year-old lance, who has always been family-oriented and prone to bouts of homesickness, he experienced his immigration as traumatic when he had to leave behind everything he knew in cuba (his house, his friends, his neighbors, most of his family members) and start his life over in america. like, that's a LOT for anyone, let alone a little kid, to have to deal with. and that's where i extrapolated the notion that lance is afraid of being left behind— he didn't really have a choice in whether or not he got to leave cuba and so he's carried this fear that everyone in cuba will move on without him.

on top of that, i think lance acted as a sponge for his family's negative emotions related to immigration (stress, anxiety, sadness). that's partially where he developed the conception that he had to perform, to always be on and distract them from their negative feelings. ofc, it also doesn't help that as the youngest, he really has to jockey with his siblings for a Thing (i.e. Luis is the family man, Marco is the athlete, Veronica and Rachel are the career-driven women).

i knew from the get-go i was gonna make this bitch have daddy issues lol. first and foremost, i do not want to dismiss the very real fact that there are tons of immigrant parents who hold homophobic notions and ideals because that is 100% real. however, the way that it's portrayed in media can sometimes flatten a lot of the potential for a nuanced relationship. i'm not excusing homophobia by any means but i am coming from a place of engaged empathy. our parents are a product of a society and culture that has ingrained in them homophobic ideals and fucked notions of gender expression. it's difficult to break a way of thinking and acting when you've had that logic shoved down your throat since birth. i think there's a lot to be said on the concept of masculinity and the "strong silent immigrant parent," which i haven't seen much in the voltron fanfiction i've consumed. i wanted to craft a relationship between lance and his dad where it can be boiled down to: "your love hurts." their conversation at the end of chapter 11 is by no means fixing everything, but it's a step in the right direction.

i also just really love lance's relationship with his siblings. i'm the oldest so it was a fun exercise to just see how lance interacts with his siblings as the youngest. also that's not the last you'll be seeing of the McClan in this fic......

let's talk about the keith section:

ok first, we've been able to view shiro from keith, lance, and adam's pov thus far. the thing is, though, is that lance still kind of views shiro as his idol/someone he's looked up to, and i wrote adam's pov primarily so the audience could view klance as a unit. shiro's character felt a little flat, and that was kind of on purpose thus far. keith and shiro are obviously incredibly close since they're brothers in this universe, but there's been an underlying tension so far because keith feels distant from shiro and i wanted to address that finally.

i think it's a natural thing for relationships to change once people hit college/move out. keith's mom left when he was a kid and his dad died and he bounced from foster home to foster home so ofc he's going to develop a huge complex about forming attachments to other people. i think it makes sense that one of keith's biggest fears is that shiro will leave him or grow tired of him, which obvi isn't true, but when you get in your head about something, after years of trauma and reinforcement of a spiral of bad thoughts, it's hard to get out of it. so keith's chapter was kind of confronting this idea that he deserves good, and that he might be good, and maybe he should stop running and learn to accept that he is loved.

i'm sure y'all have picked up on the whole thing i have for keith about showing the evolution of his willingness to be vulnerable and open up through cooking. at the end of keith's chapter, he is making kimchi fried rice with akemi which holds a lot of nuance.

1) keith is slowly but surely exploring his own heritage. (i know i haven't touched on keith's korean identity in a bit but dw that's coming in later chapters). fried rice isn't an entirely new concept to him bc he was raised in a japanese household (and also just exists in the world) but he's embracing positive change within himself and even initiating it himself by trying out a korean recipe, using kimchi, a korean food

2) not only is he trying out a korean recipe, he felt safe enough to attempt it for the first time at college, in a shared house with all his friends, and even served it to them, which is a HUGE step in his willingness to be perceived.

3) he is sharing this recipe with akemi, his japanese kind-of mom. it's the fact that cooking is kind of a love language for keith and akemi, and he wants to share something he's found for himself, away from the texas house, and integrated it into his old life, mixing what he knew with what he knows now.

akemi, who has shared her own recipes she learned from her family with keith and took on the role of teacher, is now the student. she's learning a recipe from keith and engaging in his explorations of his koreanness through cooking. and keith is sharing his culture with her because he tried it on his own with his own little found family, like "hey look at this thing i tried out for myself can i share it with you?"

tl;dr for chapters 11 and 12

i wanted to use the solo chapters as ways to show how lance and keith react to change— the ways they view it and the reasons they fear it. it can be boiled down to this:

lance: i am afraid of being left behind and i wish things would stay the same so i do not have to address the fear of being left behind because that implies i am not good enough for someone to stay for. keith: nothing has ever stayed the same for me and i am afraid of getting comfortable in the love that my community has for me because that could all be ripped away at a moment's notice. i will leave first as an act of self preservation.

allura 💖🧚🏿‍♀️🥰

i love you allura!!!! i got to have keith and lance each have a little moment with our fave princess because 1) keith and allura didn't interact a lot in this supposed found family in the canon other than when allura found out keith was galra and 2) i really liked the friendship between lance and allura in seasons 3-4 and i wish there were more moments like that. i think keith and allura could both connect more on grief and heritage since they both lost their parents, bridges to their respective cultures (keith korean, and allura jamaican). that little moment in ch 6 between both of them was very special for me as well— as an adoptee, i felt disconnected from a lot of traditions and holidays and foods that were a part of my birth culture but i didn't have anyone to celebrate it with. having keith and allura kind of discuss that together was not only a great character development moment but also was me projecting a lil 😗

side note: allura saying goodnight to keith in chapter 8 after halloweekend shenanigans parallels chapter 2, when they're outside the bathroom and she goes to touch his shoulder but he ducks away. i thought it'd be a nice little easter egg to show the progression of their friendship— in chapter 8, keith lets allura touch him and affirm their status as friends who have fun together.

i like lotor as a character but i had to nerf him a bit in this fic in regards to his relationship with allura. i think allura's relationship with lotor adds to her depth as a character— she's seen as the strong girlboss who doesn't take shit but hinting at her toxic relationship and portraying its affects was important to me. yes, allura is a badass but also she is not immune to shitty stuff, and even the most badass of people can get into bad situations. it doesn't make them weak, it just makes them human. i wanted lance, who def has this image of allura that's different from reality, to kind of find allura in this vulnerable moment and 1) realize that she's a person first and foremost, not an infallible goddess and 2) comfort her wholeheartedly because lance, to his core, is a very kind person and even when drunk, he's going to try and find the right words to say.

allura is a side character in all of this but i wanted to give her some complexity as well, since lance hangs out a lot with hunk and pidge and keith is closer with shiro and adam.

ch 9 klance development

ok look everything everywhere all at once left a fucking imprint on my brain when i saw it. "in another life i would have liked just doing laundry and taxes with you" ok stab me in the gut. that being said, i know i really wanted to give klance a moment to just be friends who run domestic errands together, to start nudging them in a direction where they're both like, "hey i kinda enjoy hanging out with this person one-on-one, and im comfortable enough to feel like i dont have to perform in front of them." klance just being domestic and folding laundry together at a laundromat and sharing airpods askgjakdjghlkadjfhgadf.

i also wanted to include the little adam and lance moment toward the end, because let's face it, adam would have absolutely adored lance (i say from the 2 minutes of screentime canon adam w got). lance has hunk and pidge and he's friends with allura but i wanted to give him someone to look up to and rely on the way keith has shiro. esp since lance is the youngest and away from home— adam probably reminds him more of his siblings initially, because lance has a more grounded perspective of adam than shiro, who's a microniche celebrity.

about the beach episode

i love beach filler episodes so fucking much. it's just a great time to get the ensemble out of the typical college setting and see how they function as a unit in a different environment. from the car rides, to stopping for food at some dingy ass fast food chain, to fucking around on the beach and chasing birds and sharing lunch ugh i love it so much it was lovely to write. mirroring adashi's relationship development with klance's was fun, i've had that idea in my head for awhile now so it was gratifying to see it come to fruition. i knew that i would have lance realize he liked keith first simply because keith takes a bit to process his emotions. dw this isn't gonna be some one-sided, drawn out pining for too long.

this beach chapter was a way for me to simultaneously reflect on how things have progressed with klance's relationships. not just with each other, but the rest of the group as well. i wanted them to have gotten a natural dynamic where they're all close enough to go on a beach trip and just fuck around and be normal college kids taking a break for finals. it also allowed me to plant the seeds for further klance development, as well as hint at the central conflict that would follow lance in chapter 11. chapter 10 was a great wrap up for the overall dynamic of the group and a way to end the fall semester.

what was it like to write in adam's pov?

that was so much fucking fun ahhhhh. for one reason, klance aren't together yet and i wanted. to write. domestic bliss. second, it's a great narrative tool to kind of zoom out a bit when viewing klance. we can see how the boys interact in a group setting from an outsider's perspective, without all the gay panic or inner monologues, as fun as they are to write. they just exist as they are, and adam takes note of it. third, i love adam and the potential of adashi and i am so so so sad that adam got killed off after less than 90 seconds of screentime. nothing against curtis, but i've just been more attached to adam since his character was revealed in the show (even if it wasn't for long). shiro deserves a loving partner and healthy relationship and i think adashi are so fucking cute. and yeah, i'm paralleling adashi's relationship development with klance, i just couldn't fucking resist.

when tf are lance and keith gonna get together?

LMAO yeah i knew this was gonna be a slowburn but damn i really am drawing it out. i do want to follow a somewhat logical progression and pacing, though. act i was building klance up as people who could find some common ground and humanize each other instead of just butting heads. act ii has been following the development of their friendship and planting the seeds for romantic attraction, as you might have seen from chapter 10. dw, there is a spike in the klance development in act iii as i focus on their navigation as a couple, and as y'all know, i already wrote the confession scene. it's coming!!!! soon!!!!!!!

multilingualism as a plot device

i've talked about it before but i love!!!! using language as a plot device to demonstrate a character's personality/development/interpersonal relationship!!!

i'm not a fluent speaker in any of the languages that have appeared or been mentioned in this fic (spanish, japanese, korean, jamaican creole, tagalog). i've studied most of them lackadaisically and i'm sort of fuzzy on grammar and cultural nuance. i've been consulting with actual native speakers of these languages to try and make it as authentic as possible but ofc, if you do speak those languages and something sticks out with the translations, please let me know!

i studied spanish in high school, but it was a mix of mexican and castillian spanish because i had different teachers between the years. diving into cuban spanish, which is an entirely different dialect because of its history in the caribbean, has been really fun (and also a lot of work my god i haven't had to bust out my spanish in years). learning all the different curses has been sooooo cool, i love profanity in other languages.

that being said, i think it's really interesting when writing from keith's pov and incorporating language. i have this idea that when keith first moved in with the shiroganes, akemi and shiro tried to encourage him to go to korean school but he probably got embarrassed because he was put with a bunch of little kids due to his speaking ability and stopped going.

the linguistic and cultural barrier was fun to craft between keith and akemi because when they first met each other, keith probably spoke 0 japanese and akemi was more comfortable in japanese and less in english. from the flashback in chapter 12, we see that keith has already been studying hard to work to a conversational level of japanese, and he can understand basic phrases (akemi tries to accommodate him as well). even so, keith still uses 丁寧語 or teneigo, the standard level of politeness for japanese, when he's speaking with akemi. it shows that even though he's progressed in his japanese, he still puts some distance between him and akemi, like he sees himself as a long-term houseguest. ofc there's layers of respect that are interlaced with teneigo, but close family units don't use teneigo when they speak to each other.

this has been a disorganized and rambling behind the scenes of looking out for you act ii. thanks for tuning in and see y'all next time <3

[jlonejacketwthe30out]

COACHING TUTORIAL - WEEK 2

to begin this class, we were presented with the words:

snorkeler

scuba diver

deep sea diver

these three ideas were an analogy for how deep we needed to get (in terms or working, research, creative processes etc) in order to do the best that we could, and get the best grades.

we also drew pictures around these three words! this was a timed activity so nothings perfect ofc (my personal favourite was the scuba diver one - trying to draw a coral reef in 5 minutes was definitely something)

this part of the class was kind of a refresher of all the spaces, resources and facilities that are available to be used on campus and that we should essentially make the most of it; if you do you’ll get better grades!! (with not even a mention of how a lot of this stuff can eat into actual class time and it’s really weird having to work around that but whatever🤚🏾)

after this activity, we broke into our coaching groups and sat in tables corelating to the Exploring Studio Practices theme we were interested in taking a closer look at for the project.

i sat at the language table! (with francesca, jasmine and daria - made some new friends this class😁)

at this table we all discussed our interest in language for the project and took notes from what we were saying.

at first, i held an interest in how language was explored through displays of kindness and affection, or how different dynamics would display different types of emotion towards each other (ei. familial and platonic - not the same but a lot in common!)

daria showed me the 7 Greek types of love (i remembered looking at these in RE years ago!!) and we spoke about a little about them since there was a shared interest in all of us around dynamics and body language.

i then thought a bit more about my own interest in language and thought about my connection to music and what this might mean for a project centred around language.

following this train of thought, i gave tiny interviews to my friends on the table about what music meant to them, what they liked and how it translated as a mode of communication/ a language.

im glad i decided to do this because it provided a lot of nuanced ideas early on that i am still interested in exploring now!

in darias case, speaking in English while learning was made easier by treating the language like a script on a tv show - and for jasmine, concepts that are essentially the same thing will be explored in different ways in Western and Eastern culture and knowing languages in both gives a new perspective.

on our table there was a general agreement that music was something that could convey feelings and ideas thar ordinary speech would make a lot more difficult. or maybe, some ideas can only be explored with music exclusively - i wrote to myself that learning to read and write with musical notations can be considered a language in itself and there is STILL more to it than that! for example in cultures where music is much more intuitive, there may not be any written notation for specific inflections or ways of playing/singing/performing.

i really like the idea of looking at something musical and i gen think i could talk about this forever 🛌🏾if anything, i would really like to think more about what i would like to direct my focus on. music notation being a language? the language of performance?? - which could very easily tie into body language and how a person might carry themselves to convey an idea? IDK LOTS TO THINK ABOUT!!

[iwonderwhyitrysohard]

its really hard not to get angry sometimes

i know im a full time college student so doing classwork and networking and whatnot is my job. but like i have two jobs, and im taking 16 hours of classes, and one of my professors is the worst.

this man told me he wouldnt excuse any absences for a surgery i was supposed to have this wednesday. but since i had sepsis and could have died i GUESS i can have that excused.

im on a very liberal campus. and i am a very liberal myself. but jesus christ i'm starting to get why disability gets denied so often and why nobody believes me when i seek help.

im sure some of it is just my anger spilling over, and i feel the need to get angry at people with less severe symptoms than me, but there are also just so many people here who don't have what they claim they have.

you would think as people studying mental health and illness and the brain you would know that not having any sensory or social issues prior to college means you dont qualify for an autism diagnosis. but that just slips right over so many people's heads.

im not even kidding, i had someone tell me that because im diagnosed autistic that i cant make autism jokes because it isnt fair to the people who self diagnose.

it isnt fair to some of the people who take the resources i need and delegitamize my illness.

ok!

and ofc not everyone who self diagnoses is wrong. i mean i cannot tell you the amount of people i know who suspected autism, saved up their money, and bam, autism diagnosis. Even those who can't go get a diagnosis are often correct, they have the symptoms!

but these people literally cannot stop themselves from divulging information about their pasts that proves they just have ADHD and social issues.

if you take psych classes in college people will trauma dump. its inevitable. but to trauma dump, give us a full look at you and the issues you've had, then claim a disability you don't have the symptoms of makes me upset.

i think its hard for me too because i want to pretend that autism is becoming more socially acceptable but it really isnt. the idea of "quirky childlike autism bean" is becoming popular. i miss a lot of social cues, and sometimes i say things that are not appropriate because i misread the room. accepting autism would be like my friends who explain to me why what i said isnt appropriate and help me understand nuance. accepting autism is understanding that i cant go to every social event we plan because i cant handle new people, so you plan events just for us.

it isnt people who coddle my destructive symptoms and let me get away with stuff because "well you have autism."

no autism isnt an excuse you can use for stalking someone. (yes someone tried this excuse after i reported them to administration for threats/harassment)

its not an excuse you can use for why you dont do chores or help around the apartment. (seen this one on our college yikyak)

its not a badge of honor that grants you access to some secret club.

its got perks but its got a ton of downsides. i have to consciously manage my symptoms daily. and its exhausting! but thats what its like to have something like this.

i dont wanna devalue other people's experiences, and i really just want to know why people think its so cool to be disabled. i guess i just wish i could be them. that i could have something mild or not at all and just get to claim the title and manage a couple symptoms.

but that wasnt what i got.

i think everyone who suspects a disability of sorts deserves recognition and the access to doctors who can help them for cheap or free.

even if you dont have what you think you do, you might have something else. or maybe you are even atypical!

i just get upset because i had to jump through all of these hoops and have so many people treat me different just because of some words on paper that i had to pay for. i mean seriously testing is expensive and its all for what? a piece of paper that says i cant make eye contact or handle loud sounds (/s)?

that i had to be so uncomfortable and treated so badly to find out thats whats wrong with me.

and some people just dont have to go through that.

im angry that i did and they didnt.

but thats life. its different for everyone. and i know that. i just wish i didnt get so angry sometimes.

[dalloga]

hey! hope it's okay to just ask stuff about language and culture haha but I always wondered how Koreans don't find it awkward to use honorifics with family/partners? My language (German) also has a formal and informal way to address people though not as nuanced and I'd never use formal speech for someone only 1 year older than me but to me formal speech is ofc about respect but it also creates a distance btw me and that person so using it for a loved one is unthinkable to me ...

Hello anon!

These kind of questions about language and culture are actually very welcome here because as a literature student, I'm fascinated with both of those things.

Personally, I think the existence of honorifics/formal language in Korean creates so much creative potential for how the social bonds between people are articulated and developed. Having that kind of strict structure that underpins all relations establishes these very clear-cut boundaries which are then either kept or crossed with every interaction, every address, every sentence you communicate because, to a certain level, the basic elements of how that sentence is constructed announce your relation to the person you're addressing.

The decision to drop formalities (ie. between friends) or reversely, the decision to put formalities back on (ie. in an argument, or after a breakup) then becomes a moment where the status between personal relations is being negotiated — a kind of signal of entering into a new intimate space or exiting it, navigating and tracking that movement through language.

Personality plays a big role here too, with some people finding formalities more awkward (and therefore wanting to relax them as soon as they can) while others finding the absence of formalities awkward instead (and therefore preferring to keep them in place even when it's not needed). Other factors like age, social class, circumstantial context for the relation, etc all play into the decision of whether or not to invoke formalities, with the additional note that none of this is fixed or determined. That there are always exceptions, always contradictions, always changes, and that's what makes the interplay between language and culture so interesting.

I guess what I want to emphasize with all of this is the immense potential for nuance that a designated formal language introduces, and how so much of its expression depends on the diverse agency of the people who use it or choose not to. Because honorifics and formal language are a form of measuring respect and distance, there's a lot interesting ways that it can then be played with and manipulated for various effects. The flirtatious/comedic/slanderous potential of various honorifics and forms of formal language, for example. It's all part of what I think makes Korean such an interesting and rich language to use and study.

[piscesmooncat]

I recently (binge) watched the k-drama “Nevertheless,” on Netflix and I have thoughts!!

Overall, I did really enjoy it, I thought it was quite different from the “usual” k-dramas, especially because it featured a friends with benefits relationship instead of a more romantic one.

I think it brought a lot of freshness to the k-drama scene, both because of the nature of the main couple’s relationship, and because of the side characters’ relationships (like the wlw/ lesbian relationship… which was the best one lets be honest uwu 🌈).

However, I was not surprised to know it kinda flopped locally… I’m aware South Korea is a more conservative country, and as such perhaps the typical audience for a k-drama might not want to watch a show about two people in a casual relationship (to say nothing of the aforementioned wlw relationship). But I also found the pacing of the story quite off-putting. There were so many times where it felt like the story was just being dragged and I felt like things could’ve been sped up a bit. Tbh I found myself caring more about the side characters and their shenanigans compared to the MCs who just went around in circles…

Not to mention the awkward transitions to the secondary characters where NOTHING happened (e.g. there would be scenes where one of the characters would be shown walking to class or something and then it’d switch to an unrelated scene).

It felt like it was all over the place and it was trying to show several relationships and their progression, but the execution was quite messy and confusing at times. A good example would be the relationship between Min-young and Kyung-joon: I did love these two characters and I did like seeing their relationship evolve, however they didn’t add much to the general story and their scenes felt completely unnecessary.

I also have to bring up how useless the character Seol-A was… she only had a few scenes and they were usually of her just sitting down or walking to greet Jae-eon, and it felt super random… when she was introduced I thought we would get a glimpse at her and Jae-eon’s past together, but their relationship and dynamic was barely mentioned and it felt unimportant.

As for some of the tropes:

K-dramas love the “casually walking around and just happened to overhear you” trope, but I honestly felt like that kind of scene was happening every two seconds (especially in the last couple of episodes). Also, at times it felt like the MCs had more scenes about watching each other rather than them actually being together…

I was also not a big fan of the love triangle. Rarely do I come across one that’s actually well executed. I liked the potential love interest for Nabi, however I felt there was no point in even rooting for him when I already knew who she would end up with (I mean… it is still a romantic k-drama after all, and no one watches 10 episodes about the main couple just to have one of the main leads end up with someone else at the last minute…but still).

Having said that, this was my first k-drama where the female lead partook in a casual relationship, and I liked seeing that kind of “rep” (I’m not a k-drama expert by any means, but I don’t think it’s common). I do wish they would have shown more nuance in regards to why it wasn’t a good decision on her part (we do get one scene where Nabi overhears (ofc) two male students talking about her being “easy” and mentioning how her reputation was ruined by getting into that kind of relationship with Jae-eon; however that never gets mentioned again and all the side characters still treat Nabi the same way so… it felt kind of pointless).

Also, I usually don’t care about product placement and sponsors, however they weren’t smooth with that at all 🤣 on several occasions we were hit with a useless scene of Nabi doing her hair or makeup just to show off the products, and it just took me out of it…

I feel like I complained a lot about this drama, but overall I actually had a good time watching it!! I was definitely hooked and I did want to know more about the characters. I do wish we would’ve seen more of Jae-eon’s past though (even after finishing it I still don’t really know what to make of him and what his motivations were throughout the story…).

However, my favorite couple was hands down Soljiwan 💖 I honestly could’ve watched a whole show dedicated to them:

- angst ✅

- secret mutual pining ✅

- friends to lovers ✅

need I say more?

I also really loved Bit-na’s and Gyu-hyun’s dynamic and the progression of their relationship was also incredible imo.

He’s always there for her when she needs him and loves her for who she is, but at the same time feels insecure by her polyamorous tendencies and her lack of interest in being in a serious relationship. I love that he tried to be in a friends with benefits kind of relationship for her, but eventually realized it’s not what he wanted and was able to put boundaries into place and respected himself (and her) by walking away.

On the other hand, I like that instead of being pressured by him to change her “romantic priorities” she organically comes to realize she actually really loves him and misses his company when he’s not around and therefore decides on her own that she wants a relationship that’s more than just sex.

Despite its flaws I genuinely recommend checking this one out!! If I were to rate it (which I guess I am lmao) I would give it a solid 7.5/10 (in terms of enjoyment it could also be an 8, but the pacing was just plain bad).

[theflopwonder]

Perhaps radical take but I feel like on some level saying Tim and Bruce absolutely couldn't be minorities is just as bad as pointing to characters like say, Stephanie and Jason as the ones most likely to be minorities.

there's other ways to get across the integral whiteness present in Bruce and Tim's characters without they themselves being white to get that across Ofc there's a special world view that gets adopted when ur a minority in general, but bc most of us arent Rich, we forget that they're just as susceptible to being mmmm persuaded (brainwash feels too harsh of a word so i hesitatate to use it but you get the point) white ideals, maybe even moreso because they're NOT surrounded by people that look like them. Internalized hatred, is a thing that runs rampant in all minority communities regardless of socioeconomic status, but it is more common among youth in higher social classes for a reason !!!!!!! And that unconscious bias, and how it operates within the story is a fun thing to explore !!!!

When I was kid I thought Obama being elected meant the beginnings of actual change in America, because my 5-13 year old self was influenced by those same white ideals that led to the same beliefs of justice that 12 year Bruce and 12 year old Tim had before they dealt with it first hand and changed their views accordingly, the same way I did when during that very same presidency in question, George Zimmerman walked out of court a completely free man and we all were powerless to stop it.

Coming to terms with gray areas is not something unique to whiteness, it's apart of adolescence in general, and could you argue that minorities experience it earlier in life than their white counterparts? absolutely, but again, minority experience is never one size one size fits all and certain nuances, like, say, socioeconomic status does change things. Especially bc richer minority parents tend to shield their children, not because they want them to fail, but because of the opposite. Because the whiteness they're surrounded by has taught them that although theyll always be different, because of their wealth they have the connections to make that specific part of the racism end if they just follow a couple extra rules (and like .... don't go bankrupt but das obvi). But we all know that's not true.

And also I feel like a lot of people hide behind a characters whiteness to justify their terrible or otherwise less than admirable traits but like newsflash, Tim looking down on everyone and treating the women around him like lesser of's and being a general prissy pants know it all doesnt just have to be because he's white. It can literally just because he's a man. Certain traits are not synonymous with white people and whiteness. Minorities can have bad qualities you guys, suffering from oppression does not make us all angels. All skin folk ain't kinfolk and all that other jazz

And like I get it, cuz this is a medium written by majority white men who have nothing to go on but their own privileged white experiences with justice and politics and whatnot, but that's the fun of fancasting and headcannons, there's ways to add nuances without taking away from the main idea that these characters have so much compassion and good in their hearts. Their efforts may be a little misguided at times and their own bias can clouds their visions sometimes but thats what makes them distinctly human and three dimensional. They just wanna try to be good people and they just want to do their best with the time they've been given. And that's just universal.

[prettyboykatsuki]

if you don’t mind elaborating, what do you mean by that?

of course! and this isn't like. a discourse post. it's just about the differences in philosphy from someone who comes from an immigrant south asian community. it's not really a diss or commentary though i guess i could offer that too.

a lot of western philosphy but im focusing specifically focusing on the united states is based in individualism. this is a result of a plethora of long standing history but in general, for a lot of people who grew up in america there is a really big level of focus on the individual. growing up to be independent. there's less emphasis on community and community values. there are exception and circumstances though ofc.

but a lot of asian countries (and i use the term broadly bc there is overlap) there's more of an emphasis on collectivism. a focus on community, interpersonal relationships and compromise. and collectivism isn't like novel to japan or anything like that.

i grew up south asian and a lot of my experiences are through the lens of the collective. for a lot of my american friends - the way i engage with my community can be very confusing. my specific tolerance for peoples behaviors and my willingness to still fight for those people even if they frustrate or upset me.

both situations have very different circumstances. it's not about good or bad, just very different.

sometimes when i read fic, i sort of catch the way that a person has been raised through means of how they write characters. in small, almost unnoticeable ways. in how characters relate to each other and how they engage with the world around them.

a big tell is how often a relationship is written as solely transactional without any other nuances you could say. people don't seem like they intrinsically owe each other anything is always a big tell. the lived experience of being raised in collectivism is having concern for people you even personally dislike them. a huge tell is how people write a character pair like bkdk for example and if people potray bakugou never doing anything for anyone out of his own will.

bakugou is a pretty selfish and self-involved character. much of his personal journey is learning how to be apart of the collective. and the reason class 1a accepts him, no matter how frustrating or annoying he is - is because bakugou is apart of their collective. his growth as a character can't be separated from that sense of community. a lot of people who grew up with individualism also have a hard time displaying bakugous outcast nature and how his deviation effects him mentally while also showing how his status altered his viewpoint before highschool.

for me, i just sort of notice in character interaction. in fics where there are high stakes and personal feelings get in the way. how accomplishments are achieved or celebrated. how a characters good will is displayed i.e. is this act of kindness especially novel or is it simply decency and respect for another person. how dekus self sacrifice is written in percieved etc. how roles are assigned to characters in their lives (a huge example of roles is how deku consistently calls himself allmights successor or how todoroki is referred to as endeavors son.) as for collectivist societies people often describe themselves through the relationships etc.

again it's kind of difficult for me to explain or give you any solid answers on. it's just sort of a vibe i get where i can feel that the person writing something has that frame on character behaviors and it bleeds into the fic.

[coolbeansbuddyofmine]

⭐

@sunsoothed knows i love talking about my fic writing process <33333 (ty babey)

so let's talk about my beloved sherlock au. i could talk about this for ages and hours but i'll keep my words relatively limited because i'm aware of the paragraphs readers have to read in my notes because i ramble so much.

shall we begin then,

main storyarc - with 13 episodes; i had originally planned these many episodes because a) that's what the tv show has, and b) i love the number 13. now, dont get me wrong, im not a particularly religious or superstitious person at all and i certainly dont believe in numerology, but i think 13 is just very pretty and holds lots of connotations for me in my rl. (fun fact: my sister was born on a friday the 13th. is that why she's such a terror? /j)

chayoung began at the age of 25-26 ish, with vincenzo being canonically 4 years older (as the age different between sjk and jyb is irl), and so far we've gone through almost 6 years with them together as a crime-solving couple together eventually. she begins on a very difficult part of her life where her father's died recently, his law firm literally lies in ruins as the building as bulldozed for redevelopment and eventual class-based gentrification, and she's now in this new city with a new therapist. difficult, right? yeah, i think so too. a lot of her own mental health struggles are based on my own with tw (depression, anxiety, bipolar, and suicide ideation - all of which are things i've struggled with and continue to struggle with but it's getting better). chayoung in this is a very personal character to me, and while a lot of her personality and history certainly is adapted from canon, i've added my own personal nuances (mostly in regards to her motivations and mental health connecting it to what i know) based on what i felt original canon was lacking. she's struggling initially yes, and the cohabitation, support she gets from vincenzo aids that lack of slow burn, and she falls for him very fast (and him too) but then ofc as any other couple does, they have their own disagreements and fights. the important thing is that they do work through them. by chapter 12, without spoiling too much, she's in a much better place mentally but the abandonment issues are still invariably at work, and there's quite a lot of internalized trauma in both vincenzo and chayoung from their countless high-profile cases (i.e. jang hanseok who is moriarty equivalent)

now, we move on to vincenzo. like the original sherlock and even vincenzo occasionally in canon, he can be an asshole, a fancy prick, and a shithead. he knows that, she knows that, i know that, and i hope the readers can also discern that. in canon, while vincenzo was very sly, cunning (the classics student in me wants to compare him to athena favourite, the wily odysseus in fact and considering what happens in chapter 6, you can certainly argue that chayoung is his penelope- his ithaca), he used people for his/their/a certain benefit. he helped lots of people out, sure, but that doesn't detract from the fact he did use people and often times, there was a sly transaction. think of sherlock! vincenzo as like that but he begins with a distinctly low EQ, though he can certainly be manipulative when he feels like it. this is a retired mafia man, who's lazy and likes to spend his "retirement" solving crime cases. and yeah eventually this asshole does understand what it's like to directly really care for one's own family and he has a whole circle that he's very very protective about (obviously this includes chayoung).

for me, i really wanted to highlight the found family trope for both vincenzo and chayoung and that's why you have the eventual introduction of the geumga plaza tenants, luca, hanseo, paolo, mr. cho, mr. ahn and various other people that are recurring throughout the entire text. yes, they do have some family members by blood, but they have made their own family with people who are equivalent to their family of blood. blood of the covenant is stronger than the blood of one's own but not as direct.

now, i'll briefly explain the 3 other short parts i've written in addition to the main story. part 2 was a pwp smut - i wrote it at 3 am, nuff said. part 3 was because i found this old deleted scene i had written and i really liked it, but it was entirely filler and contributed nothing to the original plot when i wrote it but rather just added to the word count. so i had archived it, and tbh, it still wouldnt fit anywhere in the story but i quite liked it, so i published it. and then there were more plot ideas that ranged from fully written to partial written to simply prompts. tbh at this point ive run out, so if people want more they're gonna have to prompt me and i'll get to them eventually. part 4 falls under the same explanation as part 3, so i wont repeat it again.

now finally, the finale chapter 13 yeah, i've started writing it and i'll definitely be publishing this weekend. im quite sad about leaving this au which is over 300 pages for the main doc, and if we add the other parts it'll be like 350 pages ish. the point is it's long, and the whole universe is already over 100k. correct me if i'm wrong, but that's the longest chayenzo alternate universe storyline in the entire fandom - so yeah, im more than a little attached to it. but its bittersweet bc this means ill have more time to focus on my other wips (if you've made reading through it this far - i'll tell you i have a mulan au im half-way through and a secret au that'll be out eventually) and yeah i have to work on hogwarts and other stuff for other fandoms PLUS COLLEGE. so im quite a busy woman, and sherlock was this absolutely amazing journey i went on over this summer, and this au was wonderful to work on. i think a part of the sherlock! vcy will always live in me, and if, IF, we get series 5 of Sherlock, i promise i'll come back and write 3-4 chapters within that series. i will do it, no matter what.

thank you for reading through this!! i hope you enjoyed learning about my emotions and thoughts as i write sherlock! chayenzo :))) adieu

also brief shoutout to @toobadforthefacts @yasmini24 and @stateofdelicate who’ve been keeping up with this au and their comments nourish me

(gifs have been credited by tumblr - i used the gif search function :))

[dreaming-of-assclass]

"ive never felt like this about anyone before!" with terasaka and nagisa?? (or just karmagisa if ur uncomfy with that! :>)

Pairing: Nagisa Shiota/Ryoma Terasaka

Genre: Romance, Fluff

Word Count: 1,588

A/N: Aww this is a cute pairing! I decided to go the classic route of confessing with chocolates UwU. Also ft. BFF/wingwoman Kayano!! I really like the honest simplicity of Nagisa and Terasaka’s relationship, and I hope I conveyed that well.

Before joining 3-E, Nagisa never really thought of himself as unpredictable. He’d always been a simple guy, with not many quirks. Maybe a bit of a wallflower, even. He liked observing others and the nuances of human nature. He liked seeing how other people could be surprising. 

But then 3-E happened, and he kept receiving constant praises of his “natural talents.” How stealthy he was, how he took down Takaoka, how he kept on shocking his classmates and teachers with his capriciousness, etc.

Nagisa couldn’t help but enjoy the attention, although he tried his best to hide it. But truth be told, he still saw himself as a simple person. And a part of him preferred it that way, seeking out some normalcy in the midst of his transformed life. 

And now, as he stood in his kitchen, eyes wide at the countertop covered with a dozen different ingredients, he was wishing he’d been more unique after all. 

Chocolates on Valentine’s Day? How unoriginal, he sighed internally. 

Nagisa reached for his plain navy apron and looped it over his head, the fabric tickling his nose. He tied the straps behind him and took a deep breath, eyeing the gourmet bar of 80% cacao he’d purchased.

Before he could linger on his doubts and call off the entire thing, his best friend (and baking partner) returned from the bathroom. Kayano bounded into the kitchen with a grin on her face. “Sorry for making you wait, Nagisa. I just had to take care of a small hair emergency!”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Nagisa quickly reassured her with a smile. He glanced at her dark messy bun, fondly recalling the old quirky jade pigtails he’d grown used to for an entire year. “Thanks again for helping me out, Kayano.”

“Of course!” she replied, skillfully tying on her own butterscotch apron. “What are friends for, if not helping you make chocolates because you’re a hopeless mess in the kitchen?”

Nagisa laughed and stepped back to give her room as she started examining the ingredients. “Yeah, I would’ve destroyed my kitchen. Cooking is one thing, but I’m not good at baking...and I’ve never made chocolates before.”

“That’s fine. They’re pretty easy to make, once you get past the beginning,” Kayano assured him with a smile.

They fell into comfortable conversation as they worked through the recipe. Nagisa’s clumsy hands nearly made a few mistakes, but Kayano was quick to assist him. Eventually, they stood by and waited for the chocolate to melt over the stove, with Nagisa continuously stirring it.

“I really appreciate you helping me. Seriously, that’s so nice of you. Let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.”

He paused then quickly fixed his words, stammering. “I-I mean, you can ask for anything at any time, of course! I just meant to return the favor, you know?”

Kayano laughed. “Relax, Nagisa. This is nothing compared to what an awesome friend you’ve been for me. You don’t owe me anything.”

He frowned slightly. “But…”

She hummed in thought. “I guess I am pretty curious to know who you’re giving them to, though? But only if you’re comfortable sharing!”

There was a brief silence, only the stirring of the liquid chocolate filling the air between them. 

“Nagisa…?”

“Terasaka-kun.”

“Huh?”

He sighed with a smile. “I’m making these for Terasaka-kun.”

“Really?” Her eyes widened. “Aww!”

Nagisa winced at her high-pitched squeal then smiled at her acceptance. “You’re not surprised?”

“Not really,” she admitted. “You guys have always had a very sweet and trusting relationship.” 

Nagisa felt his face heat up. “You think so?” he asked quietly, returning his gaze back to the pot.

“Yes, I do,” she smiled. “They say the best relationships always do come after one of you nearly blows the other up, anyways~”

He groaned as she laughed. 

Another stretch of comfortable silence passed and soon, they were onto decorating the chocolates. Nagisa watched in awe as she delicately laced the top of the rich chocolates with a caramel icing. 

Finally, it was his turn. He carefully made a tiny flower design with the hazelnut icing tube. “You know…” he began.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” he admitted quietly. “Making chocolates...confessing...I never acted on my feelings or was proactive.” Nagisa’s eyes were trained on what he was doing, but he could feel Kayano’s gaze on him.

“But...the way I feel about Terasaka-kun. With him. Around him…” A small smile etched onto his face. “It’s such an intense, engulfing feeling. But at the same time, it makes me feel lighter than air.”

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.”

The next day was Valentine’s Day, and Nagisa swore, he never heard his own heart beat so rapidly before in his whole life. 

He had texted Terasaka that morning to meet up somewhere, under the context of borrowing a book. The five minutes in which he’d awaited a response were the most agonizing he’d ever felt. Was he being too obvious? Terasaka responded positively though, with a short “yeah ofc. see u later.” Nagisa had fallen out of his bed in relief.

Now he was standing outside the local library, clutching onto his schoolbag. He was still in his uniform, and he bet Terasaka would be as well since school hours had just ended. 

Valentine’s Day had been uneventful for the most part. He’d gotten friendship chocolates from most of the girls in his class, a completely platonic gesture. Nagisa made a mental note of who he would give gifts to on White Day, to return such a kind gesture. Outside of that, he’d just watched in amusement at some of the antics going on around him. Chocolates being given by the hundreds to popular boys, confessions going wildly wrong and descending into chaos, fangirls, all the like. 

“Yo!” His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice. Nagisa jolted up at the sight of Terasaka making his way towards him. The object of his affection was uniform-clad in a rather neat manner, with his school bag slung over his shoulder, wearing a fond grin once his eyes locked with Nagisa’s.

Nagisa felt his stomach tighten, as if a bunch of knots were tied inside. This is it… “Hey,” he greeted with a smile, waving to the taller boy. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Terasaka replied warmly, slowing to a stop a couple feet in front of him. “How’s this crappy holiday been for ya?”

“Heh, pretty boring,” Nagisa chuckled. “Like always, I just get friendship chocolates from the girls in my class.”

“Really? That’s still cool.” 

Nagisa hummed. “What about you?” He asked, instantly dreading the answer.

Terasaka laughed lightly. “I got some from the squad as a joke, and I’m completely fine with that.”

“Oh, haha.” Nagisa felt a weight lift off his chest at the response, and his grip tightened on his bag.

Terasaka frowned slightly at him. “You okay? You’re acting a little weird.”

Now? Nagisa questioned himself. Now feels right…

Finally making his resolve, Nagisa chose not to answer verbally. Instead, he quickly opened his bag and pulled out the decorated box. He opted to go simple, rather than the ornate boxes he’d seen people give. It was a small square shape in a deep crimson color, topped by a golden bow. 

“Terasaka-kun…” Nagisa let out a sharp breath he was unaware he’d been holding. He lifted his gaze to meet Terasaka’s, and offered him a genuine smile.

“I really like you. And I made you these chocolates.” He extended his hand holding the box. “Will you go out with me?”

A tiny part of Nagisa’s mind, within his conscious, was blown away at his actions. He was seriously confessing to his crush. With homemade chocolates. Is this for real?

But Nagisa was nothing if not honest. And that extended to even himself. 

A second had passed and Terasaka gently took the chocolates from him, a warm look in his eyes that made Nagisa melt just a little. His lips were curved into a rare smile of faded surprise and contentment.

Finally he spoke, his voice like honey, full of affection. “Of course I’ll go out with you, stupid. I like you too.”

Nagisa’s chest swelled with joy. He smiled stronger than he ever had before, a rush of emotion passing through him.

Terasaka’s attention had shifted to the box in his large hands, and he tugged the bow off. “You made these yourself?” He sounded curious.

“Yes...but with a lot of help from Kayano,” Nagisa admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his short hair.

Terasaka laughed as he opened it, picking up the one that Nagisa had decorated with a flower. “They look awesome.” He plucked it into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. His eyes soon lit up. “Woah, they taste great too!”

“Really?!” Nagisa asked excitedly, feeling a bit of pride. 

“For sure.” Terasaka nodded with a grin that soon turned shy. He averted his gaze slightly, his face pink. “Thanks for making these for me…”

“I’m glad you like them,” Nagisa said somewhat absentmindedly, his attention focused on how cute Terasaka’s shy smile was.

His thoughts were interrupted by Terasaka suddenly leaning in closer. “Wait uh…” His crush’s face reddened even more. “...Can I kiss you?”

Nagisa felt his own face flush as he nodded. 

The kiss was simple and sweet, yet filled with strong genuine emotions. It was almost like a representative of their bond. 

And Nagisa wouldn’t have it any other way.

[pamouche]

hey!...it's been a while i guess..i don't even know how i should start my sentences anymore bc i feel like i'm being repetitive.

this is an explanation of my sudden absence when i said i will be back on tumblr, back forever ect...

when i arrived home which i briefly explained under the tags in my last post, i did indeed have to settle down. however in the meantime i had a wifi outage which prevented me from having any until today. i didn't have time to warn you bc it took me by surprise and i had no other way to connect on tumblr. so i was waiting patiently for this to be resolved but with apprehension bc a lot has changed in two long months (where i wasn't always here) and then with (as you can imagine) the return of classes, i have other priorities especially my studies knowing that i have exams towards the middle and end of the year. this means that i can't spend my whole life here on tumblr anymore (which was kinda the case before these two long months of vacations lol) but it's hard to do that -but i have to- when you've met great people who have become a bit like your family, when you want to "see" (on my dash) them all the time and talk to them in any way you can, wtfam you have my whole heart and i can't be thankful enough to have arrived here and to have made some wonderful encounters!

i said a lot of things have changed and i'm going to quote them now:

- i will definitely post content when i can but not daily like i used to. i will try to do it once a week, during the wk but i don't promise anything as i said because...

- second thing: i'm back to school, and we don't waste any time, i've been back for a week now and i feel like i've been there for months, we're moving very fast and so we have homework to do or hand in quickly, which is a necessary and consequent time that i can't use for tumblr anymore.

- at the end of the day but at the very end for some days, i will still come here bc i miss you after all and then i will do the reblogs of what i missed the day or whatever, just to be here bc i want to be here, bc i am here, bc i want to share with you at the end of the day, bc it's kind of my pleasure, my escape from the school life lol!

and then i think that's all, it already takes a lot of text ahahaha.

in ccl: i'm back (how many times i said it and then i wasn't there anymore i know) but to be nuanced in the sense that i won't be there the whole day but only when i can breathe, i have wifi now lol so i'll meet you every sunday if i can for a new sobbe edit from me and ofc i'll meet you every night for the updates of the day that i missed and that maybe some of you missed but also for the "friendly reminder" posts that i feel like sharing such day because let's all be emotional together lol :')

anyway i'll stop now, i hope i've been the most accurate in my words, at least i've been honest from the beginning to the end. i really missed you guys a lot, only i hope you're surrounded by love and positivity because i'm sending you a double🌼✨