#also now that i think abt it this might have been the only time this week i havent worn all/almost all black 💀 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vice-like · 2 months ago

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yk i dont think midorikawa has ever been this obvious with her hints so it might be a red herring, but this chapter being bf portrait of a girl arc makes me think about the possiblity that the "reiko" portrait was at the hakozaki house

#i also thought abt it being part of the collection there and it not being for sale #but i gotta wait for the translation on that one #natsume yuujinchou #then you might ask “if that was the case then why did hakozaki's dragon not talk abt seeing it?”#well maybe they never saw reiko herself but the portrait could have been gifted to hakozaki #by someone who knew her/the one who painted it #also we dont even know if the girl in the painting is reiko so 🤷‍♀️#idk there's def more abt the hakozakis obviously #but i think it might not be abt only natsume's grandfather #honestly i've been thinking it might not be abt his grandfather at all #could be someone even bf in the natsume line #like a great-grandfather #or even an ancestor #now idt the natsumes were exorcists but i do think there's more to this family name #and it's so old the info did not survive the times #but then if the dragon saw someone that was an ancestor it was bf being hakozaki's shiki which is possible but not what i think was implied #but it would be pretty interesting to know more abt the natsumes #at least that's what i'm more interested abt #tho the dragon does say it saw a man like him “long ago” and what is long ago to a youkai??#anyways i'm just frying my brain here lol #natsume yuujinchou spoilers #just in case someone has that muted

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chiimeramanticore · 30 days ago

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waow

#before anything else i must warn this is going to be. unorganized thoughts mostly #in the last year or so ive tried to regain confidence that i am in fact plural and am not just faking it #or mistaking other symptoms for DID. shake off the denial y'know. as is so signature for this damn disorder #a diagnosis probably wouldnt even make me feel more sure lol. and also getting diagnosed for this specifically is like #the final boss of psychiatry to put it lightly lol #but when it quiets down in headspace ur always gonna feel like. maybe its over. whatever that was #it was just me and brandy for a while #but guess who had a godawful night and then a godawful morning and split a new alter ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥#he hates it here! he might hate me for creating him! im not sure !#hell im not even rly sure if im juno or brandy rn lol. my mind is just so messy today #i woke up.. when did i wake up. like 9:30 i think and its 1pm now and i haven't gotten out of bed #i don't even remember all that time passing . i couldve sworn its only been like an hour. two at most #on the one hand this has all been kinda terrible and mentally exhausting but at the same time. hey cant say im faking now LMAO #the other hand is brandy. the other hand is absolutely brandy. i am tired lol #im only posting this here so i can just like. process it i guess #ive had a weird time finding an outlet to just spew random thoughts into since leaving twitter so. sorry #idk if anyone's expecting this of me but i always kinda feel like i need some level of professionalism on this account #keyword some. i know this is tumblr #but idk if these very open posts are. annoying? weird? uncomfortable? entertaining somehow?#i know I know theres no point in worrying abt how others percieve you . knowing that hasnt stopped me from doing it lol #i dont remember where i was going w this. maybe i didnt have a goal in the first place #idk if you read this far i dont rly need u to act like u didnt see it cuz like. wouldnt have posted it otherwise #but idk why i am posting. idk what i want out of anyone who has read all this #maybe just. interact w this post in some way idk. it's actually kinda grounding for me if you can believe it #bleghh im thinkin of cheating on my weed break just to treat myself after all this. weed + a long walk would fix me

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anxious-chaos-art · 10 months ago

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Devices quit murdering the quality of my art challenge

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arolesbianism · 5 months ago

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Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman

#rat rambles #stars posting #I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol #although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl #but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid #and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me #I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good #I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way #this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate #his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze #and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him #<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me #also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif #but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account #although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors #I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of #it dont have to be handwaved #but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle #because on the one hand: acearo character #but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well #I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol #except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self #yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy #she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second #I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years #and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time #I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion

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monachopism · 9 months ago

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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible

#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time #so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited #but everyones drained from the day #so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell #my brain says the first one and my gut says the second #i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that #i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever #at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation #and then he didnt come back #so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just #tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this #no one #i just really like him #and i wanna be around him all the time #and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him #and help him with stuff #and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school #which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point #this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away #and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies #hell #every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies #this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling #would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn #and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look #and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything #ive been on one date in my life #never been kissed never had sex

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girls-and-honey · 11 months ago

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#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages #me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my #pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones #idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when #everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that #and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for #this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100%#myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too #and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for #networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and #then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first?#which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else #anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me #i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so)#oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like #alright that's it for now i think #gah emotions and whatnot #missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon #personal

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palms-upturned · 10 months ago

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#meg talks #feeling really down and frustrated #ever since i caught covid over the new year ive just been doing so badly #it’s now halfway through may and not only am i having all sorts of weird new pain problems #to the point where i dragged myself to the er yesterday bc my usual meds didn’t do shit for me and i spent seven hours writhing in pain #but also mentally im just. constantly tapped out #before covid i was able to keep up w news and work on research projects and write multiple image descriptions every day and read books #and keep up w friends all while working full time #like even if i was in bed p much whenever i wasn’t at work i could still read and write and carry conversations #now it’s like i can only handle all of these things in small doses before my brain just shuts off #im still keeping up w news and describing what i can and working on my research projects and trying to make connections #but i feel so slow abt everything i do #it’s driving me up the wall #ive been trying for days to get through this one academic paper that’s rlly not even that long #and i just can’t do it. not for long anyway i have to read in small bursts #and then having to take muscle relaxants for these fucking spasms that make me really drowsy and sleep the whole day away…#idk. it might not even be abt covid i might be reading too much into it but it’s just pissing me off. thinking abt how nobody masks anymore #and how every time there’s a covid outbreak i won’t be able to properly protect myself or my brothers from it #bc of this fuckass job #idk im just tired and upset

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10-dutchies-12-bicycles · 2 months ago

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what if i took a 3-day phone break 👀👉👈

#itd be sooooo hard like ive been on my phone every day for like a decade at least 😫#but im scrolliny all day and i can just FEEL myself slowly turning to dust like a badly preserved mummy #also like. ever since i started getting good blood pressure during sleep 1.5 yrs ago and cured most of my adhd symptoms ive been way less #bored? i think.......? and im not sure abt that bc i dont LET myself get bored. im always on that damn phone #i want to see what im capable of nowadays #and id rly like for my days to feel longer than 5 mins bc now they go by in the blink of an eye yanno #altho ofc w my time blindness (the only adhd symptom i still have at full strength) might throw a bit of a wrench in that......#but still!!! >:(#ok im gonna do it #if yall need me ill still check whapp or discord @ beautifulegg0520 if yall need me ok love you byeeeee see yall in 72 hrs <3 #mine

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depresseddepot · 2 months ago

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weird thing about me is that I am so serious about new year's resolutions that the last week of december feels like I'm in one of those "preparing for war" montages (but in a good way)

#mine are always very easy to complete and i dont kick myself if i miss a day #like last year mine was to watch one new movie a week (bc i never ever watch movies despite wanting to) and i did it! mostly #and my one for this year is in three parts. a) read every day bc i fell out of that habit and even one page counts #b) finish my physical TBR shelf (i think its about 70 books? itll be tough but i think i can do it)#and c) read a nonfiction book at least once a month because as much as i love fiction there are a LOT of nonfics piling up #that i really want to read and i sort of neglect them in favor of my constant escapism. so.#ANYWAY i think about that statistic of how many people fail at their new years resolution and it makes me feel like i have rabies #but like. spite rabies #i made a list of interesting nyrs a few months ago and the amount of articles i had to read by smug wealthy men made me sick in the head #and only achieving my goals out of spite will heal me #anyway follow me on storygraph xoxo (ththalassocracy)#you can watch me in real time as i try once again to read a book popular at the library i work at and get disappointed almost every time #ignore the fact that ive been listening to an audiobook for almost a year now. dont look at me #ahh i love new years though. its such a fresh and clean start #2026 im thinking abt having a new resolution for each month so that i can sort of teach myself how to apply that Fresh Start feeling anytim #so that i dont have to wait for new years bc i have fleeting goals and hobbies all the time and its fun to commit to things #without the horror of failing (or consequences)#also next year i wanted to try my Shower Olympics resolution but that one would NOT last a full year lol #so maybe. but i dont actually want to start planning anything until at least june #AND THIS YEAR I HAVE 6 DAYS OFFFF right at new years!!! so i get to deep clean AND rest AND start off my resolution really strongly #im so fucking excited i might do that every year because the joy i feel at having those days off during new years is incredible

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 3 months ago

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rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses

#every time i rewatch an episode the points where it couldve been better poke me in the eye #maybe probably the exact same thing would happen with any other thing i would get this obsessed about #you stare at something long enough its flaws will become ever more apparent #you love something enough everything it could have been but IS NOT becomes ever more painful #i watched 13x5 tonight.........honestly what the fuck goes on #no these were my responses now 3 years and probably a dozen rewatches in:#1) what the fuck goes on #2) philosophically stilll utterly unintelligible to me i might be stupid #swarm and azures whole thing. like. everything they say about their Schemes is completely......incoherent. i dont understand it.am i stupid #3) feels like most agents in these plots are just doing busywork. but might be my inability to understand plot again #but like diane?? who is she what is she why is she #4) 13s message to yaz 'flux destroys universe so refugees coming take over earth your task' is.....like.....profoundly......wtf #and seemingly easily fixable: flux destroys universe refugees come to earth find a way to welcome them #get unit involved THAT way. right?#unit as the liaison between humanity and alienity. rebrand #but maybe that doesnt work with the snakeman plot idfk im stupid with plot #5) scenes between 13 and tecteun couldve been so much more. mastervoice: i have Notes. first and least: tecteun shouldve called her Child #damn now i want to do 13 era rewrite again #i really should do that one day i think it would be good for my skills #turn it into a good oldfashioned 13 ep series. still one story tho. but to deepen everything out a bit more #actually getting into all the stuff thats only sort of Touched upon #making swarm and azure not only make sense but also emotionally important and if possible even lore-wise interesting #more abt the division past. doesnt need to be shown in detail if the absence is the point. that doesnt mean there cant be more absence #swarm&azure lore + division lore + vinder&bel lore in separate pieces starting to show a horrible puzzle when put together #yaz and dan in 1900s for 3 full eps or so. time to breathe. more yaz&13 stuff. a lot more 13&yaz stuff #i think that might actually be the heart of it. maybe it should be the heart of it #leaning into that 13-tecteun parallel. the frustration and resentment. build up to the 'so why are you SO interested in him!' stuff #more of their life in the tardis just the two of them without buffer #i kinda want to play with like a lot more body language between them which the camera doesnt allow as we have it #like zoom the fuck out pls

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bismuthburnsblue · 8 months ago

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fitting on my flora bodice tonight! heres an image of her so you have a reference for what were going for!! (and so tumblr doesnt make the fitting image a thumbnaillll)

ive made an initial mockup from my pattern (s9653, got from a magazine!), heres the things i changed before i got to the actual fittings:

sized down from the "recommended" size (i ALWAYS find commercial patterns have way too much wearing ease for me)(i did mock it up to the guide size, but... no)

added allowance for a zip in the back (since im going to be shortening the button stand to fit the design, i figured the easiest way to make this wearable is with a zip. even if i wasnt, honestly- i kinda hate doing that many buttons)

and heres what that looks like! (im aware its a tiny bit tight around the bust, thats from my vagueing the size down, ill do that Properly when i transfer to paper) honestly im pretty happy with this- theres no fitting issues that i didnt expect from this pattern, which is a minor miracle with me & commercial patterns

now our next set of tasks is making the actual wanted changes!!! im going to add more shaping to the princess seam lines (at the waist on the front and back to make it actually nip in there, and above the bust on the front) and the notching for the button stand. i think thats all i want to do, but ill check again, maybe with collar and sleeve on, this time! (no point adding those when im making major changes)

(i know im also going to have to figure out the sleeve situation, but thats a later problem, i think!)

i should be able to get this all done tonight, ill catch you guys for an update a little later!!

#im trying to decide what colour fabric to get. i dont think i want something toooooo orange #im wondering if i should lean pastel or rusty. both are good! pastel probably a little more flora. rust maybe more wearable in my wardrobe #(outside of cosplay)#if you have an opinion on pastel/rust lmk! fabric shopping is tomorrow #i also might. MIGHT. make a petticoat too. i dream of broderie anglaise hems peeking out from skirts #its been a goal for a while. now may be the time. but only if there IS time #i should also tell you to ignore the dodge ass button stand. its just representing the width ok i prommy its fineeee #also also (god this is worse than main. idk if anyone even reads the tags i write so much) enjoy ur serving of tum #shes a rare treat for yall. im trying to be more open abt Having A Body; yknow? sewing kinda requires it honestly #you just dont get the same visual on my mannequin #so! tum. and a picture that isnt super posed. wow yall better b nice to me #sewing

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exopelagic · 9 months ago

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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy

#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer #the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore #but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour #it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team #because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool #not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that #and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good #but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months #idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3 #which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue #I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time #I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people #I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things #anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating #i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges #he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward #which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more #i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR #but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also #1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik #two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to #luke.txt

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demonophilia · 1 year ago

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also you can tell i need to have sex bc i literally get a little bit horny everytime i write a post and put #mine on it im like . omg... twirls hair ... did you say im yourss.... even though im the one saying it. im just saying i wrote this post. but im like mineee hehehehehehrfudhrufbeidnfjgj like girl it is a 4 letter word calm down.

#sry i literally feel like pavlovs dogs. I legit cant say that me and my ex talked abt pavlov dueing sex sm that now i have a pavlovian #response to discussions of pavlovian responses. humiliating.#i also cant call myself a dog lest . sighhhh i need to get laid #ive been thinking once i get my own place i might look into finding a professional dom just so i cn likee. experiment a bit more #but also im like aughhghh bc im so inexperienced like. i had incredibly mediocre sex maybe 5 times max. and i was miserable the entire time #and b4 that it was just like years of sex roleplay. so i know like #the kinks i like In depth but i dont actually know anything abt like. actual sex. bc the only actual sex i had i genuinely felt horrible #the entire time bc i was pressured into domming and like. Blahblah sry 4 traumadumping #anyways.#mine #like why did i literally. Oh my god. i need to be owned so bad its fucking diabolical

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lipstickontheglass1985 · 2 years ago

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me x the stained library bathroom mirror. twice for size. hi

#we finally got actual spring weather which made me go ham obv so. heres me in Certified Spring Outfit #ik the posing is a bit awkward but thats cuz i was trying to cover as much of my face as possible with the phone 😭 sorry #also now that i think abt it this might have been the only time this week i havent worn all/almost all black 💀#i also had such a cute outfit on wednesday but i didnt manage to take any pics 😭 guess i just gotta wear it again and take pics this time #thots #jules dot jpg

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theghostofwilburtheworm · 2 years ago

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does anyone remember that time someone posted a video of them filming their tv and getting a weird garfield commercial that said something like 'garfield were is the furniture, garfield were is the food'' and then it ended with a black screen with the date 1/6/18, and people said it was a hack or something, anyway idk if it even was real but i suddenly started thinking about it and i remember it scared me sooo much that that i stopped watching cartoon network for like 3 months cuz i was scared of the cursed garfield lol

#now that i think abt it i think it was only like latam cartoon that it happened tho it might have also happened on anglo cartoon?? maybe #idk anyway i remember cartoon latam got hacked a couple of times for realsies near 2018-2019 so it might have been a real hack #or maybe just a hoax idk #gh0ost txt

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bruiisedfawn · 14 days ago

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🌱🧃🦫

#after seeing that the courses i have might not be the right ones for the university program i've planned for...#even if the guidance counselor i talked to said so!!!!! 😭#i panicked...... and started just looking around #and i found one thing i can see myself do. like it isnt my dream but i think i can imagine myself actually being able to do that #bc yeah everythings changing and like. i HAVE to do smth bc of my mom and being unable to move with her and stuff #i actually have no other choice....#but i panicked bc i've been planning for this for a couple of years now and no one has told me abt this course #unfortunately they want to make it difficult for u and students are one of the groups at the bottom of society lol #and they have several different names for courses... like some are just math 1 or 2 and then there are math 1b + c etc etc #i thought natural sciences 1 was the same as.... 1a and 1b... but apparently that is course 2!!!! 😭#two different guidance conselours told me that there would be no problem for me to apply for this program #and like i have to be done in may and i cant even apply for any courses that start before that.......#soi did find one occupational program that is on an upper secondary school level #so i dont need full grades.....#but yeah it's good that it is online and only one year.... but also i cant get student housing for that soooooo i dont fkn know anything 😭#my mom says it herself but if only she wasnt poor and just had a job she couldve let me have some time etc #but everything is just ..... difficult and u have to fight for scraps and just to get it going when youre poor so yeah #well well... i will see....i just wanna lie down and rot and not do anything do hihi

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