#also not sure whether i had dpdr before or after mom died when i was 10 so. like i was pretty okay before. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

existing-in-nonexistence · 4 years

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Common dpdr-related paranoias I've had throughout my life:

I'm in a simulation box in a lab, and things only materialize when I'm within 5 feet of them in this current "real" world. Aside from that they're holograms (primary age: ??? - ~14)

I'm a brain in a jar and scientists are poking at me to make me perceive things (13 - ???)

One specific person from my life is somehow controlling every aspect of my life and watching everything they make happen (15/16-18/19)

Oh holy shit I'm dreaming right now actually none of this is real oh my god (???-present)

Nothing is fucking real but I've made peace w it and am trying to enjoy what I can bc even if these things and people aren't real the emotions I have are so (20-present)

#this is totally fine to rb btw #dpdr #dissociation #derealization #depersonalization #if you wanna add your own i encourage it!!!#btw the ages are total guesstimates. can't remember shit lol #also not sure whether i had dpdr before or after mom died when i was 10 so. like i was pretty okay before.#dad has always been good and mom was too but like #memory bad as is bc adhd. which i think i get from dad if not both.#actually dpdr #dissociation disorder #paranoia #idk why it was definitely 5 feet for the first one. it just was.#i have a specific memory from when i was younger abt that one.#i was in my front yard looking at the elm tree on the corner several feet in front of me #and i was like 'i have no idea if that's real or not. until i touch it it could be just a hologram'#and that was v much a common thing for me to think about. and at times (aka while dissociating) i really considered it.

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