#also not me making myself awkward
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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)
The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!
Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.
The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)
Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c
As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!
And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voil脿, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.
I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.
Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)
#my art#cosplay#biting the hand that feeds au#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#bhtf moondrop#i had such a good time#little awkward moments of me being autistic and not reading social cues and/or having trouble processing didn't go anywhere#but that's okay#i don't think i was ever complimented as much as i was complimented at the con so that's a W#artist alley was definitely an experience of me just finding out how actually autistic i am#because i really Am Not Interested in anything aside from my special interests#literally got myself a singular Moon sticker and a singular Mothman print#that's it lmfaooo#i also had people come up to me to just give me a tiny plastic newborn toy and run away#10/10 hilarious#bhtf au#i MIGHT just draw Moon in some of those poses because 馃憖#also maybe will make a separate post just showing off all of the details that are not as noticeable on camera? maybe? if yall would want#the cape and the hat ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY#thank you silvermizuki for the fur馃
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Aubrey Plaza in Addicted to Fresno (2015)
#aubrey plaza#addicted to fresno#jamie babbit#filmedit#filmgifs#aplazaedit#dailyflicks#wlwgif#wlwsource#dailywomen#nessa007#usersugar#userzo#mine#my gifs#RAWRRRRR#sorry. yeah#quite a delightful little movie for a lazy evening. however i hyped it up for myself immensely#as it is by a director of but im a cheerleader#(didn't get around to watch it for literally years)#and couldn't help to be kinda disappointed#i love that kind of restrained awkward comedies but i feel like they could've done more with it#however the cast makes the movie so it's a good watch!#also if i were in a situation where aubrey plaza is into me i'd drop everything and focus ON HER. sorryyyy
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i rlly like him actually
#pls the way this whole storyline made me so endeared to him immediately i hat eit wtf 馃槶#was on the fence cus it felt like such an obvious pick for me n im always weird abt that but like... hm#fields of mistria#fom balor#fom farmer#rorysmushyfarm#my art#might make a sona. like sonasona for myself in this game just so i can romance him. it depends on if hes awkward pls plsplsplsplsplplsplspl#i need him to be awkward at least a little pls itd be so bad for my health pls#also i love the kid trio sm THEYRE SO CUTE N SILLY YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AURH delightful
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collection of my digital bnha drawings .. sorryyyy
#can u tell who my favorite is#drawing tomura in a long skirt is therapeutic to me#i love making art for myself ok?#also do u like my 2 lov ponies#<- i was gonna do more but then i lost interest.. i drew them all on paper though.!!! those drawings will stay for me alone though#bnha#mha#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki yoichi#toga himiko#not tagging the rest sorry but they only appear once and erm thats awkward to me these 3 are the stars anyway#sun.art
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ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed
ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them
and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it
and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it
so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO
#vent#ig???????????#it's not even funny (it's a little funny) how the only reason i've like. thought about this was because i am becoming#more and more jealous of actors in the musicals i watch#greaseball when i get you. when i get you#like i know it IS possible play as male characters in musicals or something as a girl if i ever wanted to#but the thing is i want to look like them and sound like them and i want to be masculine#this is me questioning my gender on my fucking cats the musical tumblr blog everybody point and laugh#might delete later depending on how embarrassed i get ARGH#I FEEL SHEEPISH#had this in my drafts for a long time but i'm caving in and posting it because i had a bad night last night thinking abt it#and i need to know. also i'm lying in bed having to get up and i don't wanna so i'm making excuses#anyway again. i'm embarrassed feel free to ignore this is so stupid#ok. being brave about this#i don't like being negative on here. idk if it's negative but it might come off that way and i don't want to be awkward#also idk how sharing it here will help. but i don't really know what else to go to#if nobody got me i know tumblr got me can i get an amen#keep adding tags to this like it's going to change anything. post the damn thing idiot#why am i adding so many tags like i'm hyping myself up in the mirror JUST POST IT
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his body language is so important to me
#i move like this#and also like. my instinct as a teen was to be effeminate and prancy (in an awkward way lmao hence why i love lucius so much) but then i sa#myself and deemed that everyone around me was just seeing those mannerisms as ~girly~ and i stopped#and i didn't know what all that was about obviously#although it was the exact age when i was maybe the closest#well that's enough about my bittersweet queer origin story#i should make a lucius spriggs having a bad time compilation (pretty sure i'd have half the material already)#lucius spriggs#ofmd#my gifs#buttons
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The only reason I'm glad I didn't recognize I was trans sooner is because I would have totally named myself Brandon
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#trans meme#yes if i had named myself that i could have re-renamed myself but i am too awkward to have done so i think#i just do NOT look like a brandon. like idk what about names can make you go 'i look like a [name]' but like trust me#like you ever look at somebody and say 'they look like a [name]' and you're RIGHT? that's kinda freaky lmaoo 馃拃#anyway shoutout to the trans brandons out there i'm sorry i am not worthy enough to have joined your ranks (lighthearted)#i AM a firm believer that you can name yourself whatever 'weird' name is out there though. unironically that's what i believe#like fuck it!!! if your name is toaster then your name is toaster and i admire you for it!!!!!#names are simultaneously very important but also kind of absurd when you think about it
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The Stolzs and their situationships馃馃馃 but overall just a dump of random terribibble doodles
#pentiment#sketches#sketch dump#pentiment game#andreas maler#werner stolz#Also sorry to myself but it will take a million years for me to finally master drawing the abbey monks I cant with their tonsures#Changing up the story I had with Diana and brother Florian bc it鈥檚 like really really really awkward to make a relationship out of them now#my art#artists on tumblr
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked
#this post is not that serious or meant to be an Analysis or a Discourse Post or a Hot Take or whatever#i just think the dating thing needs to be handled differently#i should be able to Not Date characters and still get 10 hearts with them#also ive never made it far enough in stardew valley to marry someone and this is the first time i could even date someone#and ive heard that the flirtatious comments dont stop once you're married which is. really awkward for me#i mean i could probably handle the guys flirting with me while im married but id hope being married would be an off switch for it#its just awkward to have ppl im not actually dating and only gave a bouquet to so i can be their friend be called my bf/gf when. they're Not#i seriously need to find some kind of mod to fix this once i finish getting all the girls up to ten hearts#i will deal with the stomach churning grossness of the flirting for a while so i can see everything#but then I'm DONE!!! I'm DONE!!!! I just want my friends back!!!!#maru and abigail and haley !!! my buds!!!#NOT emily shes scary and NOT leah because we just didn't click and DEFINITELY not penny because i fucking hate her#penny sucks. penny dni#but yeah the flirting feels gross because im gay and repulsed by women romantically/sexually#and even though i did open myself up to this by playing the game. because i dont want it it feels like its being forced on me#which makes it feel even WORSE than normal#and its like. not only do i feel like I'm stringing along these characters#but i feel like my friendship with my favourites is ruined :(
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my bf is my #1 fan and it鈥檚 the sweetest thing 馃ズ鈽癸笍
#i wish i could see myself the way he sees me !!! 馃ス#he told me today that he thinks i could be an ig model if i rlly wanted to do it 馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶#idk if he鈥檚 exaggerrating but he wouldn锟斤拷t stop looking at me over lunch 馃槶馃ズ#i get super awkward and shy when i鈥檓 looked at or complimented so aksnsjxn#but 馃ズ what a precious boy 馃ズ#making me laugh and smile all the time 馃ズ#it feels like a dream sometimes 馃ズ#lovebug#sorry i am mush we are 6 yrs old today 馃ス#i have also known him for a third of my life 馃槶#i talked so much again
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i'm so tired of like not knowing how to be a person and connect with other people or make friends or interact in a way that feels like idk i'm on the same level as other people.
#i don't want to be alone but also i do not know how to make friends#or where to go to make friends#or how to have people want to have repeated interactions with me in a not required way#like i can make friends with my coworkers because we have to be together and then we get to know each other#how the fuck do i make people want to hang out in a more independent setting enough to get to know each other#i don't know#it fucking sucks#i went to this book club thing (for work but also independent of it) at the bar#and afterward everyone went and chatted at the bar and i just don't even know how to do that with strangers#i just sat with my two coworkers who know each other better and hang out outside of work#i mean like i know i'm a loser but it sucks having it underlined#and i'm so introverted and awkward and kinda socially anxious i just do not know how to put myself out there#like okay if there's a subject i already know we're both familiar with it's fine#but i have NO IDEA how to have cold conversations with new people#no idea at all#ugh
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hello! i really love your trust me amv, would it be ok to make a similar video based off of it? also do you have a link to the translation you used? thank you!!
hi, yes please go ahead i'd love to see it!! ^^
the translation i used was in the comments of the official video, im not sure if i can link to it... hopefully it shouldn't be too hard to find though!
there is a more official (and probably more accurate for all i know) translation here, and though i technically didn't see it until after i made the video (lol), i still think i like the one from the comments section better, at least personally... the most official one is a bit wordy to me
#mailbox#the translation from the comments also had a couple awkward bits here and there that i just tweaked myself for clearer wording#in the official translation some of the more unclear bits are worded in ways that technically make more sense than the unofficial one#but at least for the context of the mv the unofficial one works for me#and to my own limited knowledge the unofficial one wasn't exactly wildly inaccurate or anything so i still feel okay that i used it
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so uh
#a sock speaks#I think I might actually experience attraction to men? not as definitively as to women but sometimes#I think I was compartmentalizing things for quite a while#bc I didn't feel okay to have a relationship with a woman#and if I wasn't willing to have a relationship with a woman then it felt weird/wrong somehow to#allow myself to be with a man?#it felt like a betrayal somehow. I felt like I'd be judged or punished for it. or even if not that I'd be doing something wrong.#in retrospect this was the OCD talking#I don't really consider myself side b in the same way anymore. I don't know that I'd enter a relationship#but largely that's because I have anxiety about intimacy and issues with self worth 馃憤#but I've realized that I can't always tell the difference between shame over wrongdoing and fear of how others will react to me#and fear is not worth a life choice of that scale. but love is#and honestly. I'm acearo spec. I'm not likely to have a conventional relationship. for the present I'm still not planning on a relationship#I've wondered if maybe I have a celibate vocation. which is still possible even with all of this [gestures vaguely]#idk. for now I'm using the word queer to describe myself. it's comfortably open ended.#but also I was too afraid that dating/marrying a man would place me into a power structure I could never escape#and now I think maybe I don't have to be as afraid of that#now the awkward thing would be to let friends/family know without making them think I'm ex-gay 馃拃
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What is a ren faire if not an excuse to dress as creaturely as possible <3
#I鈥檓 going to the Portland ren faire tomorrow with some friends and I鈥檓 working on putting together my fit rn#which I have been doing for the past. 3 hours.#fit itself is basically decided#now I鈥檓 just working on makeup#I鈥檓 figuring this all out ahead of time /so/ I don鈥檛 take 3 hours tomorrow to get ready HDKHSJD#I鈥檝e set aside 2 hours to get ready tomorrow so I should definitely be good#anyways if you鈥檙e also going to the Portland ren faire tomorrow. I will be lurking HDKHSSJSJ#I highly highly doubt anyone that sees this will also happen to be there but if you are#I have very distinctive facial markings that I鈥檓 going to have on in make up. you can see those in all my art of myself#so if you see a guy walking around with those on his face most likely that鈥檚 me HDKSHJSB#I鈥檓 gonna shit myself if someone actually recognizes me#if you do somehow and decide to say hi please fair warning I鈥檓 extremely awkward and will probabaly flee after a short conversation HDKSHSJB#anyways enough ramble#otherkin#alterhuman#godkin#dragonkin#nonhuman#caninekin#kras rambles
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Ur art is so fucking cool I love it smm!! 馃槤馃槤馃檧馃檧馃檧馃憤馃憤馃槱馃槱
Have u ever been noticed by the ogc?
- jj 馃悎鈥嶁瑳
THANK YOU I AM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART :DD
And to answer your question, no have have never been acknowledged by twomp creator Ashur Gharavi if that is what you are asking, i have managed to hide in the shadows away from his gaze for as long as i have been in the fandom 馃槍
#would probably shit myself if he ever found me#that is an overstatement i am being overdramatic#idk how i would feel but im scared of him finding me 馃槶馃槶#anyways no he has never seen me i will continue to lurk in the shadows until he finds me like a little bug under the rock#also thank you for the compliment i am horrible at expressing my gratitude but it actually makes me super happy i am just socially awkward:)#sorry im not used to answering asks i do not know what i am doing
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