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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #208

"if you want to soar with vultures, you'll have to swallow crow."

What may we call you? Brittany/Britt or Ozz/Ozzy. When can we send you a birthday card? (Figuratively, of course.): February 5th. And, where are you calling from? (Again, figuratively.): Please free me of the sweltering grip of North Carolina. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? BIIIIIIHHHHH that's too hard. I love that shit. I love the honeybuns, Twinkies, those little chocolate cupcakes... and really just most things lkdjalksdjwoe. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom usually buys whitewheat, but sometimes just wheat because she knows I prefer it. Have you ever fixed something without knowing just how you did it? I'm sure I have at some point. When was the last time you were on a plane? Last December. Where were you going and why? To Sara's for her birthday. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? Mom found a serious deal for a brand new Canon camera with more focal length range than my previous one and she bought it right in time for the wedding I shot yesterday. :') ^And, the worst? My niece may already be developing schizophrenia. If you could invent something, what would it be? Uhhhh... just one is hard. I literally just thought about this for like 5+ minutes and can't think of one singular invention that would actually be important. Well, maybe some sort of totally natural, long-lasting preservative for food? That'd help so many people and would greatly decrease the amount of fruits and such we waste, and it would also save money with probably slightly decreasing the frequency of grocery shopping. Tell me about your favorite pair of pants. I literally just have black yoga/dance pants lmao. Do you like getting dressed up? NO. Is your technology up to date? Depends on how "up-to-date" you mean. My stuff definitely isn't totally current. Ever been stuck next to someone really annoying on a LONG plane/train ride? Nah. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yeah. Are you afraid of heights? Yes, to a degree. What is a compliment you get most often? "I like your hair"/stuff like that. Tell me about the last frightening/weird dream you had. This is hard, I like, never remember my dreams. Now, about the last pleasant dream you had. AHA I actually do remember this one: I got the rare-as-all-fuck and beautiful as all hell heavenly onyx cloud serpent in WoW, which I've tried getting every week for years. @_@ My eyes like popped open and I nearly gasped. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Sometimes. If there is a spider in your room, will you be up all night knowing that? YUP. How do you feel about coconut? I hate it. ^ Ever cracked one open? No. If you like someone, what do you do? Generally get shy and smile a lot when interacting with them. If you DON’T like someone, what do you do? Try to avoid being around them, keep talking to them to a minimum. What do you feel most insecure about? What DON'T I feel insecure about? Do you do your part to save the earth? I do what I can as not an independent adult (ex., I don't have my own car, so we don't drive to the dump). I turn the water off when brushing my teeth, I don't linger in the shower, I absolutely will not litter, things like that. Does it ROYALLY piss you off when your intended username is already taken? Yeesh, it doesn't even make me mad, it's just annoying. Describe your sunglasses. I don't have any. What’s the most you’ve spent on a pair of sunglasses? N/A ^Or, ladies, what about a purse? No clue, but definitely not a lot. Actually, what’s the most expensive clothing item/accessory you own? Again, I don't know. What is your favorite spoken language to listen to? Latin. Is there a TV switched on in the room you’re in? There is no TV. If so, what’s on? N/A What room of the house are you in anyway? My bedroom. Do you own anything that is special edition? I think some games, maybe? Maybe other things? Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have one of those moving 3D ones of meerkats. Do you know anyone with a British accent? Not personally. Are you reading any books at the moment? No. If so, tell me the plot briefly. N/A. When did you last get delivery pizza? A few weeks back. Drake Bell or Josh Peck? Back when the show was current, I preferred Drake. I know nothing about him now; Josh is cool, though. When was the last time you had a tick on you? EW idk I don't even wanna think about it. Do you watch Adult Swim? No, I hate it. It's crawling with immature humor. Have you been to the Grand Canyon? No. What is your favorite type of donut? Glazed or plain. Who usually makes dinner in your household? Mom. Name ALL the colors you’re wearing. Oh jeez, I have on a really colorful Day of the Dead-style skull tank top. Literally like every possible color. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Have you submitted anything to Urban Dictionary? No. Did you have a Gameboy? If so, do you still have it? Yes to both. Is there a playground anywhere near your house? Define "near." Not very. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? Mom. What’s your favorite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Or Crunch Berries, the all berries kind. Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? No. Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently? An old best friend from high school. When was the last time you ate marshmallows? Not since Sara was here and we had s'mores last summer. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy? I don't pay attention to whatever Mom gets. Why did you leave your last job? The stress was giving me panic attacks. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? No. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? Probably Mark or GameGrumps. How old were you when you first became sexually active? 16. What’s your opinion on The Simpsons? I don't have one. Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? Plenty of people. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? No. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? A moderate amount. We live on a busy road. Would someone being either a cat or dog person effect you dating them? No. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Hm, idk. Talk to me like I'm an idiot will definitely get me, actually. What’s a job that doesn’t get enough respect? Mfckn teachers. They are WAY WAY WAY underpaid. What did you take for granted until you visited another country? Never left the country. What is the worst first date you’ve been on? Tyler had a flat tire, and we had to walk to the gas station for something I don't remember and back to the sketchy tire place, and it was SO cold and windy. It didn't actually bother me, like he felt godawful and it wasn't like it was in his power, but from a date standpoint, yeah, that was an event. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I'm not educated enough on various scientists for this. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? Emoticons. What’s the hardest task you’ve ever had to do? Open my mind in partial hospitalization to let Jason go and recover. How did you meet your pet? Teddy was from a friend of a family friend who knew we were looking for a dog. He was a present for me, so I didn't actually pick him, but rather Ashley chose the last remaining puppy with brown on him, and boy did she make the best decision. Roman was one of the shitload of kittens Ash's mother-in-law had; I was immediately drawn to him with his beautiful blue eyes. <3 Venus was from an online hub of ball python breeders, and I just absolutely fell in love with her colors. Kaiju and Mitsu were both from Craigslist. Do you look like any of your grand- or great-grandparents? I don't have a clue. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? Oh yeah. Do you like grapes or raisins better? I only like grapes. What is the most extreme weather your area has ever experienced? I looked it up; the coldest in history is -9*, highest is 105*. Is there anything you plan on watching on TV today? No. Are there any broken appliances in your house? Maybe. Mom may still have my old Sager in hopes of fixing it one day or something, but I feel like we finally got rid of it. What color is the lampshade in the room you’re in? I don't have a lamp in here. At school, what is/was your worst area in math? I don't remember. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever called to your door? Yes. Do you ever throw money in those ‘wishing’ wells? No. Waste of coins. Ever take money out of them? No. Are you well known by people in your area? No. What is the picture on the desktop on the computer you’re using? A meerkat. Have you ever had your future told? No. Do you 'spit on it’, to seal a deal? No no no ew. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank god. If so, have you had any scary hallucinations? N/A Do you believe in ghosts? Totally. Would you ever stay overnight in a haunted house? Sure thing. When was the last time you had an injection? What for? Months ago when I was getting a cavity filled at the dentist. For some reason, I would NOT go totally numb until they gave me like 5+ doses. Is there anything you cannot wait to be over? This eternally-looping groundhog's day bullshit. I want a job, to be in school, friends, just a damn purpose. Do you have any enemies? "Enemies," no. People I don't like that also don't like me, yes. What was the last thing you had done at the dentist? Speak of the dentist, lol. Said cavity filling. Do you scrunch your face up when eating sour things? No, I'm not very affected by sour things. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? World, yes. <3 Are you someone who is really committed to politics in your area/country? No. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Two summers ago when I was fishing with Colleen, her husband, and dad. Does your family ever have any kind of weird traditions in your house? No. What would you consider your favorite movie from a different decade? The Lion King. Do you ever take bubble baths only to relax yourself in some way? I never take any kind of bath. When was the last time you were sick? What were you sick with and why? I don't remember. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Yes, though I had serious reason, but I wasn't in any way demanding about it/nothing was actually affected by them remaining friends. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out. Do you know anyone who has or has had any kind of mental illness/disorder? I'd love to meet someone who can possibly say "no" to this. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? *stares off into the distance wistfully* Is your mother a stay-at-home mother or does she work somewhere? She never stops working. What food would you just want to disappear off the face of the earth? Nothing? I'm not going to take away the diet of people depending on some source I just happen to hate. Do movies with super heroes intrigue you in any way? Why is this? Yeah, I just like fantasy stuff, and I enjoy the majority of the plots. I also just enjoy the idea of superheroes existing. Do you watch those late-night talk shows? What’s the best part about them? No. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? I try to sometimes. Do you like shopping alone? I've never really shopped alone. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah, like she can animate pretty well! Have you ever written a song? I wrote a fucking song to the Nintendogs theme as a kid lmfao. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa always did, but he's sadly passed away, so now, no. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? Ha ha, I have a Back to the Future shirt stored somewhere with the date on it, and it says "I was there." What do you think about mullets? I absolutely hate them. Would you rather date an actor or an athlete? I find actors more talented. I'd be afraid of an athlete s/o getting hurt, too. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Somehow. When was the last time you blushed? I don't remember, it's definitely been a while. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? A doctor for my tremors. She was a BITCH with just such an unlikable, dull personality. Never went back to her. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? I have a Nintendo DS Lite somewhere... and then my laptop is actually a gaming laptop. What movie coming out do you really want to see? The. Live action. TLK. First day? I'm fuckin' THERE son. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your mom’s? We're about the same. What is the best thing about the beach? All I care about is if the water's warm. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? I gave Jason a makeover once lmao. Have you ever spied on your neighbor? No. Do you think they’ve ever spied on you? No. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? Brown. Honestly, do you double dip? No, I break chips apart. I will if I'm eating by myself, though. What color is your birthstone? Purple. What is one thing you don’t like sharing? Hmmm. Oh, probably candy, lmao. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? Downstairs. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? He's been in so many, I don't have a clue. I like him, though. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my husband. Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Mom did. What are you listening to? "Queen For Queen" by Motionless In White. Do you like hickeys? If they're not in an obvious spot. Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No. When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I don't have a best friend besides Sara, and I talk to her everyday. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Sara. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Not always. Do you have any summer plans yet? No. I'd like to go up and visit Sara, but I have no clue if that'll happen, especially with me trying so hard to get a job. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? One. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yes. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Do you think age matters in relationships? To an extent when a minor is involved. Even huge gaps in adult relationships creep me out, but there's nothing morally wrong with it. How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Two. Do you believe exes can be friends? It depends on the intensity of the relationship, I think. Plus what went wrong. Did you ever lose a best friend? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Lol poor thing's seen me sob. Are most of your friend guys or girls? Girls. When was the last time you took a long drive? A few days ago to my psychiatrist. About an hour drive. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No. Have you ever TP'd someone’s house? Well, considering I've never been that damn immature, no. Who do you text the most? Sara. What was the last movie you saw? Detective Pikachu. It was cute, although I was expecting it to be more targeted towards an older audience with Ryan Reynolds playing Pikachu. (I knew nothing about it going into it.) Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I'm monogamous. What do you most like about making out? The touching/caressing. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? No. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Do you miss your last sweetie? Not romantically. It'd be nice to hang out again, though. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? No. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Y'all been known. What’s your favorite flavor of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? Blue raspberry. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? Yes; I went to Sunday school. How many cars does your household own? One. What time do you usually have dinner? 4:00 for fasting reasons. What’s your favorite meat? Probably chicken. Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I always need them. Are you a very forgetful person? I'm so forgetful that I literally sometimes have borderline anxiety attacks that I'm developing dementia or something at age 23 lmao. What is the best gift anyone has ever gotten for you? My dog. Do you look anything like you did 3 years ago? I guess somewhat, though I was way bigger and my hair was much longer. Have you done something dramatic to your looks in the past year? No. Make up or no make up? I think everyone inevitably looks better with make-up as it enhances features and dulls imperfections, but I personally couldn't care less if you wear it or not. I almost never do, so I can't talk. What’s your favorite thing to watch on the TV? IF I was to watch TV now, probably things like animal documentaries. Would you rather be anorexic or obese? Actually go fuck yourself. Do you upload videos to YouTube? Definitely not regularly. I don't know the next time I'll make one. Do you own any albums by Michael Jackson? No. Do you like your phone on silent or vibrate? Vibrate. Do you like Beavis and Butthead? I don't watch it, but it honestly seems pretty damn stupid. What do you believe happens after we die? Who even knows, really. I believe there's something after we die, but we'll have to wait to find out what. Does the concept of eternity scare you? It kinda... does, actually? Like, wouldn't it get boring eventually? Are you happy that you were born and raised where you were? I suppose. Are your parents still together? No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes, and I want to see their fckng son he's gonna be so cute. She's due soon and I pray I get to take pictures of him. Is there a band you like but don’t like the people in it? Blood On The Dance Floor and Otep. Well, Otep is respectable in some areas, but all things considered, she is a bitch. What tabs do you have open right now? Fucking five YouTube tabs, dA, and Tumblr. Who was the last person to write on your wall on Facebook? No clue, and I don't feel like looking. Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Thank Christ in Heaven no. Are you between the ages of 30 & 40? No. How much was a gallon of gasoline when you first started driving? I have no clue, when I got my permit. What was your first car? N/A Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher and my mom. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? Honestly? I don't even remember, almost at all, lmao. I either went to Jason's or went home/Jason came with me. Any posters on your bedroom walls growing up? When Nicole and I shared a room, she literally covered the fucking walls in Jonas Brothers shit while I was at a friend's house, and I was. Very. Very. Unhappy. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never had beer, don't want to. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. How did you spend your summers growing up? Swimming, hanging out with friends, playing outside, riding bikes, playing softball with Dad, playing video games... If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? Hey, could I have been like, a happy teenager??? Do you remember your first time? No considering at that time I didn't realize it essentially was sex, so it wasn't something that stood out at the time. After high school - straight to college or straight to work? I went straight to college. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? It was probably McDonald's. How many stuffed animals do you own? I literally have multiple huge bags in the attic of childhood stuffed animals I couldn't get rid of, lmao. Are you good at comebacks? WOW no. When’s the last time you watched the news? I don't have the slightest idea. Do you love Christmas time? Of course. Do you really think that the number 13 is unlucky? No. What’s your favorite flavor of cough drops? Omggg I love those strawberry ones. Do you have a fan in your room? Yes. I wouldn't survive without it. Do you think Cookie Monster is cute? I don't really feel either way. Do you like candy canes? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Probably stuffy? I don't have a runny nose much, but I've got pleeeenty of experience with stuffy noses. Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? THE FORMER. What’s your favorite smiley face? c: Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? No. How many concerts have you been to? One. :/ Would you ever join a band? If I was actually talented with the guitar, maybe, but as things are now, nope. Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Do you know anyone who is a firefighter? No. What was the last wedding you went to? Just a few days ago for a lady who contacted me about shooting hers. It was a great one, and honestly wonderful to see an interracial wedding here in the South. You do nooot see that everyday. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? Probably the last time I was uploading pictures from my old phone; it's the one I take the once-a-year selfie because the Samsung camera is ACTUAL trash. Do you “binge-watch” TV shows? No. Well actually, on the occasions Sara and I have, I can only handle a handful at a time before I completely lose focus on it or, at that time anyway, interest. What is your opinion of clowns? I don't have one. Do you play any games on your phone? Only Pokemon GO if I'm somewhere I can actually play it. Do you plan ahead when it comes to your outfits? No. Have you ever shaved your face? We have this tiny automatic razor thing for your upper lip, and I use that like once a month or less because yay having dark body hair. What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Whatever those mandatory ones are when you become a teenager. Idr. Would you ever try herbal medicine as opposed to conventional medicine? No. If I need medicine for something, I'm using something I know works. Have you ever been to a petting zoo? I think as a kid? Do/did you have a curfew set by your parents? It wasn't heavily enforced, but Mom preferred I be home by 10 if I went somewhere. How many times have you consumed alcohol? *shrugs* When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have noooo clue. When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? Good question. I rarely sing an entire song, rather just parts. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? I don't mind my face, but I do NOT like my body, so overall, no. Are you addicted to anything? Technology. What are you craving right now? I've had an insane craving for hot dogs on the grill for like a week now lmao. Mom's doing that and buying some drinks today for the two of us. I wanted my sisters to come for some family time, but my younger sister has homework, and then Ash and kids like... never come here. "Because of the dogs," according to her husband, but I don't believe that. Are you a forgiving person? I'm way too forgiving. Do you have a brother? Yes. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? WHOA actually I think I semi-recently had a nightmare of me going ham stabbing someone for some reason I don't remember. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? "I love you" or then "see you on the other side" is cute to me and also indicates we'll be together again. So probably the latter. What band can’t you stand listening to? I reeeaaally dislike Mumford and Sons. His voice is awful. What is your favorite mystery/crime/FBI related show? Does Sherlock count as a mystery show? Would you ever have a bird as a pet? Nah. How’s your relationship between you and your grandparents? Not wonderful. I don't like her very much, and evidence says I'm not her favorite person, either. Do you have a photographic memory? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Hm, don't think so. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? Yes. Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do? Uh, call 911??? Dunk water on him if at all possible? I'm not just gonna drive past anyone who's on fucking fire. It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Sara. I only ever text her and Mom, and Mom would be right outside my door asleep, so. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Is there anyone who hasn't? When was the last time you saw your father? Not since his birthday last month. Do you like any of Justin Bieber’s songs? No. Any time when you need to search something on the Internet, which search engine do you use? Google. Do you believe saving your virginity for marriage or no? I don't care. I believe in saving it for someone you truly, deeply love. When you were a kid, did you ever like Barney? Yes. Omfg I just remembered something with my older sister; when she was little, Barney was her "boyfriend." She was "talking on the phone" with him once, and when Mom interrupted her, she scoffed and said, "I'm talking to Barney." And then Ash and Barney had an ACTUAL "ceremony" for a divorce. That's a thing that happened. What’s the capital of state, country, or providence you live in? Raleigh. When you open your web browser, what is your home page set to? Why did you select this? Google. I think it was automatically set. Would you allow a camera crew to follow you around and make a reality series out of your life (no matter how boring it is) if you got paid well? Why? No. I'd get so fucking annoyed, I'd feel under constant scrutiny, and I don't want fame. If your car broke down would you call a friend or family member to pick you up or would you call AAA (or something like it)? I'd call my mom and listen to her on what to do from there. Do you put a lot of thought into the gifts you buy for people? YEAH. It's rare I actually have my own money to buy gifts for anyone, so when I can, I think hard. On an average day do your thoughts tend to be more positive or negative? Negative, I think. Do you ever trust anyone else to drive your car? If you don’t have a car, do your friends and family ever allow you to drive their vehicles? I don't have my own, but Mom lets me drive hers. Name at least one thing you like about each season. Winter: SNOW. Spring: Flowers!! Summer: swimming. Autumn: visuals. What amount of time do you think is perfect for a vacation? I guess a week?

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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nirah10 · 6 years

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Woah! You have so many nieces and nephews already! Is that a religious family thing? As nearly everyone I know has between zero and two kids. Like legit, all my friends and family are childless or have only one kid. Having so many kids is such so culturally different to me. And thinking about having kids before 30 is always alien to me. 😂 Maybe it is a different country thing.

I think it’s just a big family thing to be honest. My Mum and my biological father both grew up in larger families so having a lot of kids seemed normal to them (and neither of their parents became Jehovah’s Witnesses until after they’d had kids) and, in turn, the kids in my family tend to think that three or four kids isn’t really a big deal. Most of the people in my family will even tell you that they don’t like the idea of having only one child because they think it would be terribly lonely for the kid. That being said, I do have a lot of nieces and nephews, but they’re spread out over several people. The most any one family has is three. I have a brother and sister with three each, three sisters have two each (and one with a third on the way), and one sister with only one, so even though I have lots of nieces and nephews, my siblings’ families tend to be normal-sized ^_^”

Having the kids super early is definitely a religious thing though, because the religion encourages getting married super early and also leans heavy on the idea of “traditional” families and women basically existing for the sake of being stay-at-home mothers. As soon as a couple of JW kids start dating, everyone they know will be breathing down their necks asking them when they’re getting married. Some of my family assure me that that has changed and isn’t very common anymore, but one of my sisters only got married a few years ago after dating the guy for less than a year and, though damn near everyone denies it, I personally heard almost every single religious person in my family tell her that they should get married almost immediately after they started seeing each other. Then, when she got engaged, they all had a problem with it because he wasn’t baptized yet and they were being irresponsible for getting married so soon. This was the sister who wound up basically cancelling her wedding and just got married on the beach with three of us there. I told her early on that I didn’t think it was a good idea to get married so quickly but was careful not to be a dick about it and, once they got engaged, I didn’t say anything else because she’d made her decision. Literally everyone else gave her endless shit about it. I actually told off my brother’s wife because I had heard her pressure my sister about getting married on several occasions and then she tried to talk badly about her behind her back when I was in the room. Honestly, it still makes me angry. Anyway, the point is they get pressured to get married basically the minute they go on a date, so they tend to have kids really early in life.

#this time it's personal

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fear-god-shun-evil · 5 years

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Is Jesus God’s Son?

Hello brothers and sisters of Spiritual Q&A,

My name is Feifei. I’ve seen that all of you have some particular insight into the Scripture—this has been so helpful and edifying for me. Today, I’d like to ask everyone about something that’s perplexed me for years. As Christians, many of us have the notion that the Lord Jesus is God’s Son because there are a number of mentions in the Bible of “beloved Son” and “heavenly Father.” Just like it clearly states in Luke 3:22: “And a voice came from heaven, which said, “You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased.” Plus in the Lord’s Prayer the Lord Jesus called God in heaven “Our Father which are in heaven.” The Lord Jesus Himself said that, and that’s what the Holy Spirit gave testimony to, so nearly everyone who follows the Lord Jesus thinks that He is God’s Son. But I’ve also seen a lot of places in the Bible where it says that God is the only one true God who created the heavens, the earth, and all things, that there is only one God. So then why would there be any mention of a Father and a Son? Isn’t that contradictory? So was the Lord Jesus the Son of God or was He God Himself? I really can’t figure this out, so I wanted to ask you in seeking.

Sincerely yours,

Feifei

Sister Feifei:

Before having fellowship on this, we should first understand that everything God does is correct and without error. God’s words cannot contradict each other, and God’s wisdom is unfathomable to us as human beings. So, whenever we’re confused about something we need to seek the truth with a humble heart. The Lord Jesus said, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6). If we have a heart of longing for the truth, I believe the Lord will lead us.

Something we really need clarity on is whether the Lord Jesus Christ was God Himself or God’s Son. First let’s take a look at the origin of the idea that the Lord Jesus was the Son of God. In Genesis there was no mention of God having a son, and Jehovah God didn’t mention a son during the Age of Law, either. It wasn’t until the Age of Grace, after the Lord Jesus had become flesh and come to the earth to work that we speculated that there is a Father and a Son from some things written in the Bible. No one knew if this was accurate or not, nor did anyone try to seek out the facts to find out what this really was. But in fact, the Lord Jesus had already disclosed this mystery to us, and it’s something we can find out if we just pay a bit of attention. Back in the Age of Grace, Philip didn’t know God at all. He thought that the Lord Jesus had God, His Father, up in heaven, so he asked the Lord to have the Father show Himself to them. And what did the Lord Jesus say? John 14:9–11 says, “Jesus said to him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet have you not known Me, Philip? he that has seen Me has seen the Father; and how say you then, Show us the Father? Believe you not that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? the words that I speak to you I speak not of Myself: but the Father that dwells in Me, He does the works. Believe Me that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me: or else believe Me for the very works’ sake.” And in the Gospel of John 10:30, the Lord says, “I and My Father are one.” We can clearly know from the Lord Jesus’ words that there is only one God. The Father is the Son, and the Son is the Father. The Father and the Son are one Spirit, which is to say that the Lord Jesus was God Himself and there was no such thing as a separate Father and Son. There will probably be a lot of people who, reading this, may have a number of uncertainties about the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ was God Himself. The key to resolving these confusions is to understand what Christ really is, and then we’ll have clarity on this issue.

Let’s take a look at a couple of passages: “The incarnate God is called Christ, and Christ is the flesh donned by the Spirit of God. This flesh is unlike any man that is of the flesh. This difference is because Christ is not of flesh and blood but is the incarnation of the Spirit. He has both a normal humanity and a complete divinity. His divinity is not possessed by any man. His normal humanity sustains all His normal activities in the flesh, while His divinity carries out the work of God Himself. Be it His humanity or divinity, both submit to the will of the heavenly Father. The substance of Christ is the Spirit, that is, the divinity. Therefore, His substance is that of God Himself.” “The incarnate flesh originates in the Spirit: He is the incarnation of the Spirit, that is, the Word become flesh. In other words, God Himself lives within the flesh. … For this reason, even though He is called ‘man,’ He does not belong to the human race, and has no human attributes: This is the man in which God clothes Himself, this is the man that God approves. Within the words is embodied God’s Spirit, and the words of God are directly revealed in the flesh. This makes it all the more clear that God lives in the flesh and is a more practical God, from which it is proven that God exists, thus bringing to an end the age of humanity’s rebellion against God.”

From these passages we can very clearly understand that Christ is God in the flesh, and what the “incarnation” refers to is God’s Spirit clothed with regular flesh, as a human being. From the outside, Christ looks just like a regular, average Son of man, but in fact He possesses the divinity of the Creator, and it is His divinity that guides Him in expressing the truth and doing God’s own work. That is a role that no created being could play—only Christ, with His divine essence, could do that.

The Lord Jesus was God in the flesh, and He was Christ. In spite of the ordinariness, the normalness of His flesh, He was the embodiment of the Spirit of God and His work and words were full of authority and power. Whatever He said, was; whatever He commanded to be, became. The moment it left His mouth, it was truly accomplished. He could pardon anyone’s sins with a single word, He could bring the dead back to life, calm the wind and the sea, and feed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes. Without exception, these miracles were manifestations of the authority of God Himself, the unique. The Lord Jesus was able to do the work of God Himself. He expressed the truth, provided the gospel of the kingdom of heaven and the path for people to repent. He brought mankind into the Age of Grace and concluded the Age of Law. He expressed a disposition of love and mercy and was crucified for the sake of all mankind, thus completing the work of redeeming humanity. None of this work could have been done by a human being. On top of that, we can see God’s mercy as well as His righteous disposition from the Lord Jesus’ attitude toward people. As an example, Jesus was extraordinarily tolerant and forgiving with sinners who were kind people, but He rebuked and condemned the Pharisees, who despised the truth. All of these things were true revelations of God’s disposition. And during His entire time in the flesh, not once did the Lord Jesus lord over others; instead, He very quietly hid inside of the flesh doing His own work. Think of His response to Philip’s question: “I am in the Father, and the Father in Me.” If He had been one of corrupt humanity, He certainly would have said something like “I am the Father, and the Father is Me.” This also allows us to see God’s disposition of being humble and hidden. From these facts, we can be certain that the Lord Jesus was God Himself in the flesh.

Why is that when the Lord Jesus was baptized, the Holy Spirit Himself bore witness that He was God’s beloved Son? There’s something behind this that we really must understand. When God incarnates, it’s His Spirit hiding within the flesh. The flesh itself cannot feel it at all, just as we humans cannot feel our souls. In addition, when God’s Spirit was within the flesh He didn’t carry out supernatural acts, so if God’s Spirit hadn’t uttered words to testify that He was God Himself, even the Lord Jesus would not have known that He was God incarnate. Thus, it wasn’t until He officially took up His post that the Holy Spirit bore witness that He was God in the flesh, and it was only then that the Lord Jesus knew that He had come to do the work of redemption. So it was only by the Holy Spirit testifying that the Lord Jesus was God incarnate that He Himself knew His true identity.

Something else that we should understand is that the people of the time had no concept of God becoming flesh. Although the Lord Jesus uttered many words, showed many miracles, and entirely displayed the authority and power of God, people then didn’t recognize from His work and words that He was God Himself, that He was the appearance of God. God acted according to people’s stature at the time and didn’t push them beyond what they were capable of. The Holy Spirit bore witness that the Lord Jesus was the beloved Son of God in accordance with what people could achieve, allowing people to see Him as God’s Son for a time so that it would be in line with people’s notions and easy for people to accept. The Lord Jesus was then doing the work of redemption, so no matter what people called God, as long as they accepted the Lord Jesus as their Savior and were absolved of their sins, that was enough. At this point I’m sure we’ve come to understand a little bit of God’s will within this.

Since the Lord Jesus was God Himself, why did He call out to the heavenly Father in prayer? There’s truth within this that we can seek as well. Let’s read another passage: “When Jesus called God in heaven by the name of Father as He prayed, this was done only from the perspective of a created man, only because the Spirit of God had put on an ordinary and normal flesh and had the exterior cover of a created being. Even if within Him was the Spirit of God, His exterior appearance was still that of an ordinary man; in other words, He had become the ‘Son of man’ of which all men, including Jesus Himself, spoke. Given that He is called the Son of man, He is a person (whether man or woman, in any case one with the exterior shell of a human being) born into a normal family of ordinary people. Therefore, Jesus calling God in heaven by the name of Father was the same as how you at first called Him Father; He did so from the perspective of a man of creation. Do you still remember the Lord’s Prayer that Jesus taught you to memorize? ‘Our Father in heaven….’ He asked all man to call God in heaven by the name of Father. And since He too called Him Father, He did so from the perspective of one who stands on an equal footing with you all. Since you called God in heaven by the name of Father, this shows that Jesus saw Himself to be on equal footing with you, and as a man on earth chosen by God (that is, the Son of God). If you call God ‘Father,’ is this not because you are a created being? However great the authority of Jesus on earth, prior to the crucifixion, He was merely a Son of man, governed by the Holy Spirit (that is, God), and one of the earth’s created beings, for He had yet to complete His work. Therefore, His calling God in heaven Father was solely His humility and obedience. His addressing God (that is, the Spirit in heaven) in such a manner, however, does not prove that He is the Son of the Spirit of God in heaven. Rather, it is simply that His perspective is different….”

It’s evident from this passage that when the Lord Jesus prayed to God in heaven as the Father, in fact it was God incarnate standing in a position equal to our own, praying to God’s Spirit as a created being. Before He was crucified, the Lord Jesus was working on earth as the Son of man; He ate, drank, clothed Himself, slept and walked just as all of us do. There was nothing supernatural about that. This is why He prayed to the heavenly Father from the perspective of the flesh, which also allows us to see God’s humility and hiddenness. But no matter from what perspective the Lord Jesus prayed, He was Christ; He was the embodiment of God’s Spirit. He could express the truth and was able to bring us the way to repent and be saved; He could reveal miracles and do all of God’s work. And in spite of the fact that the Lord Jesus worked in the flesh, no matter how weak His flesh became or how arduous His work was, He was able to obey the will of the heavenly Father unwaveringly. This adequately shows the Lord Jesus Christ’s true identity.

Sister Feifei, that’s all for our fellowship today. I think that now we should be able to see that the Lord Jesus was the appearance of God Himself from these facts of God’s work. That’s because aside from God Himself, no one is able to reveal such a humble, hidden disposition as God. Aside from God Himself, no one is capable of absolute obedience to God’s will or acts solely for the achievement of God’s management plan. Aside from God Himself, no one can express the truth, do God’s own work, save humanity from the bonds of the law, or redeem all of mankind by being nailed to the cross. Knowledge of God is a critical subject for us as Christians to study. We can only avoid arbitrarily delimiting God based on our own notions and imaginations if we gain knowledge of Him, and only then will we be able to truly treat Him as God and develop true hearts of reverence and love for Him.

Thank God. May God lead you!

#Bible Study Topics #Knowing Jesus #Who Is Jesus Christ?

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focusontheeasternlightning-blog · 5 years

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A Christian’s Testimony: How Should We Deal With Satan’s Temptations on the Way to Welcome the Lord?

By Yingying, Malaysia

A pilgrim’s path is perilous. A Christian’s road of following God on the right path is full of difficulties and obstacles—all sorts of Satan’s tests emerge one after another. Aside from having faith in God, Christians must also learn discernment. This is the only way to see through Satan’s trickery and stand witness when Satan’s test befalls you. Now, I’d like to share my own personal story with everyone.

Wonderful News—The Lord Has Returned!

In early September 2017, one of my Facebook friends bore witness to me of Almighty God’s work of the last days. She fellowshiped on God’s three stages of work, the significance of His names, His management plan for saving mankind, and the mysteries of the Bible. This helped me understand that in the work performed by God in the Age of Law, the Age of Grace, and the Age of Kingdom, although the names and the works of Jehovah, the Lord Jesus, and Almighty God have all been different, they are all from the same source. It is all one God working, speaking, and saving us. Almighty God appearing and working in the last days fulfills what the Lord Jesus prophesied: “For as the lightning comes out of the east, and shines even to the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be” (Matthew 24:27). “And if any man hear My words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world. He that rejects Me, and receives not My words, has one that judges him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day” (John 12:47–48). I realized that Almighty God is the return of the Lord Jesus. After that, I attended gatherings with brothers and sisters from The Church of Almighty God, and through gatherings and fellowship I came to understand more and more truths. Each day was happier than the last; I felt fulfilled within my soul.

Some time later, a brother from my previous church learned that I had been in contact with members of The Church of Almighty God and angrily questioned me, “Why are you in contact with them?” He also told me I should turn my back on them. I replied: “They’re all believers; we’re all one family. Why would I turn my back on them? Besides, they’ve shared many truths with me in fellowship so that I have a better understanding of God!” At the time, I was thinking to myself: “Through gatherings and fellowship on God’s words with these brothers and sisters with The Church of Almighty God, I’ve understood a number of truths that I had never gotten before when reading the Bible. I’ve understood that the truth Almighty God expresses to judge and cleanse us is so that we may attain salvation and enter into God’s kingdom. You haven’t bothered to look into it, but are just arbitrarily condemning and rejecting it. That’s really arrogant.” So, I didn’t listen to him and continued to contact those brothers and sisters online.

The Pastor Spreads Lies and I See the Truth Behind Them

One day when I went to the church to worship, Pastor Li was on the podium saying all sorts of things opposing, condemning, and blaspheming Almighty God. He even played a video by the Chinese Communist Party condemning The Church of Almighty God that said that those spreading the gospel of Almighty God don’t care about their families. Hearing them say that I was somewhat concerned, thinking: “They don’t care about their families? What can they do if they can’t go home because they’re spreading the gospel?” I turned this question over and over in my head, and I felt really downcast.

After going home I sought out a sister to talk over my worries and concerns. This is what she said to me in fellowship: “Sister, if it weren’t for the persecution of the CCP, how is it possible that our brothers and sisters would have homes they couldn’t go back to? The CCP is an atheistic government that doesn’t allow its people to believe in or follow God. It particularly doesn’t allow people to spread the gospel or bear witness to God. They do everything to arrest and persecute people of faith. So many brothers and sisters have been arrested and persecuted by the CCP—some have been sentenced to prison time and have suffered brutal torture; some have even been harmed to the point of death. There have also been many who have been terrorized to the point that they cannot return to their homes. These are all facts that are plain to see. But the CCP fabricates rumors and slander, saying that these Christians don’t care about their families. Isn’t this distorting the facts, upending right and wrong?”

“The Lord Jesus said, ‘Go you into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature’ (Mark 16:15). God’s commission for us is to spread the gospel and bear witness to God. It is also the bounden duty of all Christians. For generations, there have been so many saints and missionaries who have given up their own families to spread the gospel of the Lord Jesus, crossing oceans to bring the gospel to every corner of the world. It’s only because of this that we have received the grace of the Lord’s salvation. Could we really claim that spreading the gospel is wrong? God Himself has now become flesh and come to earth, doing the work of judging and cleansing mankind to thoroughly save us from Satan’s influence. Our brothers and sisters have understood God’s urgent will to save humanity and they are completely willing to give up everything to share the gospel of God’s salvation for mankind with more people who long for God to appear. This is an upright thing. But the CCP’s atheistic government is on the wrong side of history; it will not allow people to spread the gospel and bear witness to God. It does everything in its power to condemn and persecute Christians, fabricating rumors and slander, saying that Christians believe in God but don’t care about their families. This is nothing more than Satan’s tricks to disrupt God’s work. We must learn to have discernment! Give it some careful thought—in Malaysia and other democratic countries, we all have freedom of belief and there are a lot of believers, but no one has abandoned their family because of their faith. We cannot be deceived by the CCP’s rumors and lies.”

Through this sister’s fellowship I understood that under the CCP regime, the true reason for brothers and sisters having homes they weren’t returning to was because of the CCP’s oppression, but it was flipping the truth on its head and fabricating rumors to deceive others. I had nearly been taken in by its tricks. On top of that, as Christians, spreading the gospel and bearing witness to God are our mission and responsibility, so brothers and sisters giving up everything to share testimony of God and bring more people who long for the Lord’s appearance before God so they may attain salvation is an act of righteousness. Only then did I awaken and see into the truth behind those lies—it put my heart at ease.

She then went on to say: “When the Lord Jesus came to work He performed a number of miracles. Many people saw that His work and words possessed authority and power, and more and more people followed Him. Seeing this, hatred sprung up in the hearts of the chief priests, scribes, and Pharisees; they became afraid that the believers in Judaism would all follow the Lord Jesus. This is why they did everything they could to slander and condemn the Lord Jesus in order to protect their own status and their living. Ultimately, they colluded with the Roman government in the crucifixion of the Lord Jesus. In the last days, Almighty God is expressing truths to do the work of judgment and purification. God’s words are all the truth and they hold authority and power; those who love the truth can tell that they are the voice of God and are turning toward God one after another. However, some of the pastors and elders of the religious world have seen that more and more brothers and sisters are accepting Almighty God’s work of the last days and are no longer following them, so in an effort to protect their own status and living, they are not allowing these brothers and sisters to read Almighty God’s words. They are also going along with the atheistic CCP government in viciously slandering, judging, opposing, and condemning Almighty God. They are doing their utmost to disrupt and block Christians from investigating the true way. Just as the Lord Jesus said: ‘But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for you neither go in yourselves, neither suffer you them that are entering to go in’ (Matthew 23:13). If we are not capable of discernment, we will be easily misled and controlled by them, and then it will be very difficult for us to welcome the Lord’s return.”

Hearing my sister’s fellowship was a great awakening for me. Almighty God’s work of the last days is already expanding across the entire world, but when Pastor Li heard about it, not only did he not look into it, but instead madly opposed and condemned it. He even used the CCP’s rumors and lies to deceive Christians and hinder us investigating the true way. That really is another manifestation of the Pharisees. I give thanks to God for helping me gain discernment through this sister’s fellowship so that I will never again be confused by Pastor Li.

Loved Ones Stand in the Way But I See Through Satan’s Tricks

When that brother from my church later saw that I was still in contact online with brothers and sisters with The Church of Almighty God, he tried to push me into deleting my Facebook account. When I wouldn’t listen to him, he got some sisters with the church, my older sister, and my niece and nephew to all get together to try to persuade me. They were all chiming in, repeating over and over the lies spread by the pastor so that I wouldn’t believe in Almighty God anymore and would return to the church with them.

One day my niece and nephew who I love so dearly came back from a youth group meeting at the church and said to me with a dark look: “Our youth group has been looking into you. They say that you believe in a false way that deceives people. Don’t believe in that stuff anymore.” After that, they totally snubbed me and were constantly giving me looks. They spoke to me aggressively and were constantly nitpicking, intentionally cold and rejecting. I was very hurt by this; I thought of how I had helped raise them through thick and thin, how I had poured out immeasurable effort and energy for them, how I had put my heart and soul into caring for them as if they were my own children. How could they treat me like that? I was very aggrieved, but at the same time, I was concerned that more people from the church would come to harass me. The more I thought about it, the more pained and tormented I was. My spirit was in darkness. I couldn’t read God’s words and I didn’t have anything to say in prayer.

I slowly became weaker and weaker and found all sorts of excuses to avoid gatherings. I didn’t acknowledge the messages sent to me by brothers and sisters from The Church of Almighty God, and even uninstalled Facebook. But after doing that I felt incredibly distressed—I couldn’t help but experience suffering. I thought of the fact that I was completely aware that the Lord has already returned and realized that my family member hindering me was Satan’s disruption, yet I couldn’t overcome the restrictions of familial feelings. Something that sister had said to me occurred to me then, that any difficulties should be brought before God in prayer and seeking, that only God’s words can save us from Satan’s harm. I immediately reinstalled Facebook.

Even though I had just reinstalled Facebook, I felt really guilty and reproached myself. I thought of how the brothers and sisters with The Church of Almighty God had always been so caring toward me but I still treated them that way—I thought they certainly wouldn’t like me anymore, and there was no way that God would want me. But contrary to my expectations, God had not abandoned me—He arranged for a sister to seek me out and give me a call. Answering that phone call was a very moving moment for me. I shared all of my worries and concerns with her. She fellowshiped with me that facing that kind of environment is a spiritual battle to see which side we stand on. If we don’t understand God’s will we will live within misunderstandings and complaints, be weak and negative, or even abandon God.

After that, brothers and sisters showed me a wonderful clip from the film Perilous Is the Road to the Heavenly Kingdom, called How Does God Use Satan to Do Service? There was this passage from God’s words in that clip: “In My plan, Satan has ever snapped at the heels of every step, and, as the foil of My wisdom, has always tried to find ways and means to disrupt My original plan. But could I succumb to its deceitful schemes? All in heaven and on earth serves Me—could the deceitful schemes of Satan be any different? This is precisely the intersection of My wisdom, it is precisely that which is wondrous about My deeds, and it is the principle by which My entire management plan is carried out. During the time of the building of the kingdom, still I do not avoid the deceitful schemes of Satan, but continue to do the work I must do. Among all things in the universe, I have chosen the deeds of Satan as My foil. Is this not My wisdom? Is this not precisely that which is wondrous about My work?” I understood through Almighty God’s words and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters that Satan is hot on the heels of every new stage of God’s work, attempting to sabotage His work and harass those who follow Him, but God’s wisdom is exercised based on Satan’s trickery. The CCP government and the religious pastors and elders madly condemn, blaspheme, and resist God, fabricating rumors and lies about God’s work of the last days—all of this is just doing service for God’s chosen people. God uses their opposition to allow us to see through Satan’s evil essence of being an enemy of God so that we can gain discernment over them; it is also to increase our faith in following God. It’s just like when I accepted God’s new work and Satan couldn’t accept it, it did everything it could to disrupt and hinder me through the loved ones around me. My sister, my niece, and my nephew became tools in Satan’s hands; they urged me to give up the true way and snubbed me, intentionally giving me the cold shoulder. They blocked me time after time with the aim of getting me to give up the true way and lose God’s salvation. I also understood that when facing that kind of environment, on the outside it looks like a bad thing, but God’s benevolence is within it. God wants to allow me to gain discernment over Satan’s evil essence and to have me clearly see my own true stature, to know how paltry my faith in God is. The moment I was disrupted by Satan I became negative and weak and even cut off contact with brothers and sisters. This fired up my resolve to seek the truth even more and made me willing to, in the future, really pursue the truth and stand witness.

That sister read a passage of God’s words for me: “What God wants to see is that man’s heart can be revived. These ways that He uses to work on man are to continually awaken the heart of man, awaken man’s spirit, letting man know where they came from, who is guiding them, supporting them, providing for them, and who has allowed man to live up till now; they are to let man know who is the Creator, whom they should worship, what kind of road they should walk, and in what way man should come before God; they are used to gradually revive the heart of man, so man knows God’s heart, understands God’s heart, and comprehends the great care and thought behind His work to save man.” Then she said in fellowship: “The truth is that God has always been by our sides, but it’s just through this kind of environment that He awakens our numb hearts. It’s through the disruption and hindering of pastors, other believers, and our families that we realize what is positive and what is negative, what is righteous and what is evil, as well as how to follow and bear witness to God. It’s this way that we understand God’s earnest intention to save mankind. This is the only way our hearts can be awakened as soon as possible and we will no longer be toyed with by Satan.”

Thanks be to God! Through God’s words and fellowship from this sister, I understood that God uses these environments to awaken our hearts. Even though the brothers and sisters from the church as well as my niece and nephew were hindering me, it allowed me to see through Satan’s tricks and understand God’s hard work and kindness in saving mankind. It inspired my faith to follow God that much more.

Restoring Our Old Warmth and Harmony

After that, I no longer felt restrained by my niece and nephew. I went back to God’s house and back to gatherings with brothers and sisters, enjoying the watering and nourishment of God’s words. At first, every time I attended a gathering I would pray to God and put everything in His hands, quieting my heart before Him so that I wouldn’t be subject to the disruption or constrains of any person, thing, or event. Incredibly, my niece and nephew started to feel that the pastor’s sermons were lacking in illumination; they gradually became less willing to go to church and no longer opposed my faith. In our daily lives I also frequently bore witness to them to God’s deeds, and they also realized that I still had the utmost consideration for the family and cared for them as I always had, that I wasn’t like what the rumors said. After that, they wouldn’t interrupt me when they saw I was in a gathering, and the warmth and harmony we had always had was restored in our home.

Undergoing one disturbance after another allowed me to understand some truths, gain some discernment, and see God’s kind intentions of saving mankind. I also deeply experienced Satan’s harmfulness to mankind. In the future, no matter how Satan disrupts or hinders me, I will certainly stand witness. Thank Almighty God. All the glory be to God!

#Gospel Testimonies #Spiritual Warfare #Break Through the Rumors #Satan’s Temptation #Victory Over Satan

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almightygodismydependence-blog · 6 years

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Christian Testimony: God Guided Me to Clear the Stumbling Block on My Way to the Kingdom

By Yingying, Malaysia

Wonderful News—The Lord Has Returned!

The Pastor Spreads Lies and I See the Truth Behind Them

Loved Ones Stand in the Way But I See Through Satan’s Tricks

Restoring Our Old Warmth and Harmony

#Lord Jesus #faith in God #pray to God #God Himself #the Son of man

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love-god-forever · 6 years

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Christian Testimony: The Path to the Kingdom of Heaven Is Narrow

By Yingying, Malaysia

Wonderful News—The Lord Has Returned!

The Pastor Spreads Lies and I See the Truth Behind Them

Loved Ones Stand in the Way But I See Through Satan’s Tricks

After that, brothers and sisters showed me a wonderful clip from the film Perilous Is the Road to the Heavenly Kingdom, called How Does God Use Satan to Do Service?

youtube

There was this passage from God’s words in that clip: “In My plan, Satan has ever snapped at the heels of every step, and, as the foil of My wisdom, has always tried to find ways and means to disrupt My original plan. But could I succumb to its deceitful schemes? All in heaven and on earth serves Me—could the deceitful schemes of Satan be any different? This is precisely the intersection of My wisdom, it is precisely that which is wondrous about My deeds, and it is the principle by which My entire management plan is carried out. During the time of the building of the kingdom, still I do not avoid the deceitful schemes of Satan, but continue to do the work I must do. Among all things in the universe, I have chosen the deeds of Satan as My foil. Is this not My wisdom? Is this not precisely that which is wondrous about My work?” I understood through Almighty God’s words and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters that Satan is hot on the heels of every new stage of God’s work, attempting to sabotage His work and harass those who follow Him, but God’s wisdom is exercised based on Satan’s trickery. The CCP government and the religious pastors and elders madly condemn, blaspheme, and resist God, fabricating rumors and lies about God’s work of the last days—all of this is just doing service for God’s chosen people. God uses their opposition to allow us to see through Satan’s evil essence of being an enemy of God so that we can gain discernment over them; it is also to increase our faith in following God. It’s just like when I accepted God’s new work and Satan couldn’t accept it, it did everything it could to disrupt and hinder me through the loved ones around me. My sister, my niece, and my nephew became tools in Satan’s hands; they urged me to give up the true way and snubbed me, intentionally giving me the cold shoulder. They blocked me time after time with the aim of getting me to give up the true way and lose God’s salvation. I also understood that when facing that kind of environment, on the outside it looks like a bad thing, but God’s benevolence is within it. God wants to allow me to gain discernment over Satan’s evil essence and to have me clearly see my own true stature, to know how paltry my faith in God is. The moment I was disrupted by Satan I became negative and weak and even cut off contact with brothers and sisters. This fired up my resolve to seek the truth even more and made me willing to, in the future, really pursue the truth and stand witness.

Restoring Our Old Warmth and Harmony

#faith in God #Lord Jesus #God’s word #believe in God #God’s salvation

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countrymadefoods · 6 years

Photo

Ancient Egyptian Bread

“The grains cultivated in ancient Egypt were wheat and barley. Wheat had an important place in the Egyptian economy. It was not only used for bread making, but also as form of payment, both as the treasure of the state in the vaults and as investment for more difficult times. The variety of wheat used for this ancient bread making is called emmer, also known as farro. This was one of the first crops domesticated in Egypt and surrounding regions and closer to the wild varieties than the wheat we consume today.

The two staples of the Egyptian diet, often produced side by side, were bread and beer...Archeological evidence shows that beer was made by first baking "beer bread,” a type of well-leavened, lightly baked bread that did not kill the yeasts, which was then crumbled over a sieve, washed with water in a vat and then left to ferment.

In the New Kingdom a new type of a large open-topped clay oven was created. It had a cylindrical shape and it was encased in thick mud, bricks and mortar. The dough was then slapped on the heated inner wall and peeled off when done, similar to how a tandoor oven is used today for naan and pita bread. Bread was also baked inside clay vases.”

(via Ancient Egyptian Bread, by Miguel Esquirol Rios)

Egyptian Hieroglyphs

“Egyptian hieroglyphs were the formal writing system used in Ancient Egypt...The use of this writing system continued through the New Kingdom and Late Period, and on into the Persian and Ptolemaic periods. Late survivals of hieroglyphic use are found well into the Roman period, extending into the 4th century AD. With the final closing of pagan temples in the 5th century, knowledge of hieroglyphic writing was lost. Although attempts were made, the script remained undeciphered throughout the Middle Ages and the early modern period. The decipherment of hieroglyphic writing would only be accomplished in the 1820s by Jean-François Champollion, with the help of the Rosetta Stone.

Hieroglyphs emerged from the preliterate artistic traditions of Egypt...The glyphs themselves since the Ptolemaic period were called..."the sacred engraved letters", the Greek counterpart to the Egyptian expression of mdw.w-nṯr "god's words".

Geoffrey Sampson stated that Egyptian hieroglyphs "came into existence a little after Sumerian script, and, probably [were], invented under the influence of the latter", and that it is "probable that the general idea of expressing words of a language in writing was brought to Egypt from Sumerian Mesopotamia". However, given the lack of direct evidence, "no definitive determination has been made as to the origin of hieroglyphics in ancient Egypt".”

Ge’ez

“Ge'ez (also transliterated Gi'iz or Geez and formerly known as Ethiopic) is an ancient South Semitic language of the Ethiopic branch. The language originates from the region encompassing southern Eritrea and northern Ethiopia regions in the Horn of Africa.

Ge'ez is written with Ethiopic or the Ge'ez abugida, a script that was originally developed specifically for this language. In languages that use it, such as Amharic and Tigrinya, the script is called Fidäl, which means script or alphabet. Ge'ez is read from left to right.”

“The Ge'ez language is classified as a South Semitic language...The Ge'ez language is no longer universally thought of, as previously assumed, to be an offshoot of Sabaean or Old South Arabian...the Ge'ez script later replaced Epigraphic South Arabian in the Kingdom of Aksum...Ge'ez literature properly begins with the Christianization of Ethiopia (and the civilization of Axum) in the 4th century, during the reign of Ezana of Axum.

Some writers consider the period beginning from the 14th century an actual "Golden Age" of Ge'ez literature—although by this time Ge'ez was no longer a living language. While there is ample evidence that it had been replaced by Amharic...Ge'ez remained in use as the official written language until the 19th century, its status comparable to that of Medieval Latin in Europe.”

Ge’ez Script

“Ge'ez, also known as Ethiopic, is a script used as an abugida (alphasyllabary) for several languages of Eritrea and Ethiopia. It originated as an abjad (consonant-only alphabet) and was first used to write Ge'ez, now the liturgical language of the Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Church, the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church, and Beta Israel, the Jewish community in Ethiopia. In Amharic and Tigrinya, the script is often called fidäl, meaning "script" or "alphabet".

By the first centuries AD, what is called "Old Ethiopic" or the "Old Ge'ez alphabet" arose, an abjad written left-to-right...with letters basically identical to the first-order forms of the modern vocalized alphabet (e.g. "k" in the form of "kä"). There were also minor differences such as the letter "g" facing to the right, instead of to the left as in vocalized Ge'ez...Wazeba's coins from the late 3rd or early 4th century contains a vocalized letter, some 30 or so years before Ezana...others have suggested possible influence from the Brahmic family of alphabets in vocalization, as they are also abugidas, and Aksum was an important part of major trade routes involving India and the Greco-Roman world throughout the common era of antiquity...The alphabetical order is similar to that found in other South Semitic scripts, as well as in the ancient Ugaritic alphabet, which attests both the southern Semitic h-l-ħ-m order and the northern Semitic '–b–g–d (abugida) order over three thousand years ago.”

Arianism

“Arianism is a nontrinitarian Christological doctrine which asserts the belief that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who was begotten by God the Father at a point in time, a creature distinct from the Father and is therefore subordinate to him, but the Son is also God (i.e. God the Son). Arian teachings were first attributed to Arius (c. AD 256–336), a Christian presbyter in Alexandria of Egypt. The teachings of Arius and his supporters were opposed to the theological views held by Homoousian Christians, regarding the nature of the Trinity and the nature of Christ. The Arian concept of Christ is based on the belief that the Son of God did not always exist but was begotten within time by God the Father.

The Roman Emperors Constantius II (337–361) and Valens (364–378) were Arians or Semi-Arians, as was the first King of Italy, Odoacer (433?–493), and the Lombards were also Arians or Semi-Arians until the 7th century. Visigothic Spain was Arian until 581...Two Roman emperors, Constantius II and Valens, became Arians or Semi-Arians, as did prominent Gothic, Vandal, and Lombard warlords both before and after the fall of the Western Roman Empire. Such a deep controversy within the Church during this period of its development could not have materialized without significant historical influences providing a basis for the Arian doctrines.”

“Arians do not believe in the traditional doctrine of the Trinity...In 321, Arius was denounced by a synod at Alexandria for teaching a heterodox view of the relationship of Jesus to God the Father. Because Arius and his followers had great influence in the schools of Alexandria—counterparts to modern universities or seminaries—their theological views spread, especially in the eastern Mediterranean.

[T]he controversy had become significant enough that the Emperor Constantine called an assembly of bishops, the First Council of Nicaea, which condemned Arius's doctrine and formulated the original Nicene Creed of 325. The Nicene Creed's central term, used to describe the relationship between the Father and the Son, is Homoousios, or Consubstantiality, meaning "of the same substance" or "of one being"... In 381, at the Second Ecumenical Council in Constantinople, a group of mainly Eastern bishops assembled and accepted the Nicene Creed of 381, which was supplemented in regard to the Holy Spirit.”

”[T]he conversion of Goths led to a widespread diffusion of Arianism among other Germanic tribes as well (Vandals, Longobards, Svevi and Burgundians). When the Germanic peoples entered the provinces of the Western Roman Empire and began founding their own kingdoms there, most of them were Arian Christians... Much of south-eastern Europe and central Europe, including many of the Goths and Vandals respectively, had embraced Arianism (the Visigoths converted to Arian Christianity in 376), which led to Arianism being a religious factor in various wars in the Roman Empire.”

“The teachings of the first two ecumenical councils – which entirely reject Arianism – are held by the Roman Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Oriental Orthodox Churches, the Assyrian Church of the East and all churches founded during the Reformation in the 16th century or influenced by it (Lutheran, Reformed/Presbyterian, and Anglican). Also, nearly all Protestant groups (such as Methodists, Baptists, and most Pentecostals) entirely reject the teachings associated with Arianism. Modern groups which currently appear to embrace some of the principles of Arianism include Unitarians and Jehovah's Witnesses.”

Gothic Christianity

“Gothic Christianity refers to the Christian religion of the Goths and sometimes the Gepids, Vandals, and Burgundians...The Gothic tribes converted to Christianity sometime between 376 and 390 AD, around the time of the fall of the Western Roman Empire. Gothic Christianity is the earliest instance of the Christianization of a Germanic people, completed more than a century before the baptism of Frankish king Clovis I.The Gothic Christians were followers of Arianism...Jordanes' 6th century 'Getica' claims the chief god of the Goths was Mars. Gothic paganism derived from Germanic paganism.”

“The conversion of the Goths to Christianity was a relatively swift process, facilitated on the one hand by the assimilation of Christian captives into Gothic society and on the other by a general equation of participation in Roman society with adherence to Christianity. Within a few generations of their appearance on the borders of the Empire in 238 AD, the conversion of the Goths to Christianity was nearly all-inclusive. The Christian cross appeared on coins in Gothic Crimea shortly after the Edict of Tolerance was issued by Galerius in 311 AD.”

“The Gothic churches had close ties to other Arian churches in the Western Roman Empire. After 493, the Ostrogothic Kingdom included two areas, Italy and much of the Balkans, which had large Arian churches. Arianism had retained some presence among Romans in Italy during the time between its condemnation in the empire and the Ostrogothic conquest. However, since Arianism in Italy was reinforced by the (mostly Arian) Goths coming from the Balkans, the Arian church in Italy had eventually come to call itself "Church of the Goths" by the year 500.”

Gjúki

“Gjúki (also Gebicca, Gifica, Gibica, Gebicar, Gibicho or Gippich) was the King of the Burgundians in the late 4th century until his death in or around 407. He was the father of Gundomar I, Giselher and Gunther. He is mentioned in Widsith as Gifica and as Gjúki in the eddic poem Atlakviða, where he was the father of Gunnar (see Gunther).”

Sack of Rome (410)

“The Sack of Rome occurred on 24 August 410 AD. The city was attacked by the Visigoths led by King Alaric...This was the first time in almost 800 years that Rome had fallen to a foreign enemy. The previous sack of Rome had been accomplished by the Gaulsunder their leader Brennus in 390 or 387/6 BC. The sacking of 410 is seen as a major landmark in the fall of the Western Roman Empire.”

Giseler of Burgundy

“Giselher was a king of Burgundy in the Nibelungenlied, brother to kings Gunther and Gundomar I (also called Gernot). Historically, these correspond to three sons of king Gebicca, Gundomar, Gislaharius (Giselher) and Gundaharius (Gunther), who ruled the Burgundians in the 410s. His name means "pledged warrior".”

History of Toulouse

“The history of Toulouse, in Midi-Pyrénées, southern France, traces back to ancient times. After Roman rule, the city was ruled by the Visigoths and the Merovingian and Carolingian Franks...The treasure which the Visigoths seized in Rome in 410...was reportedly stored in Toulouse at the time. The Visigoths blended Roman and Gothic cultures...The Visigothic kingdom of Toulouse was reportedly more Romanized and its state structure more elaborate than the Frankish kingdom north of the Loire Valley.

Under Clovis the Franks converted to Catholicism, receiving support from bishops opposing the Visigoths' Arianism and marching south to the northern borders of the Visigothic kingdom. War followed, and the Visigothic king Alaric II was defeated by Clovis at the Battle of Vouillé in 507. The Franks moved south, conquered Aquitania and captured Toulouse in 508...Following Clovis' death in 511, Aquitaine and the rest of the kingdom were divided between his sons (the Merovingian dynasty). The Merovingian kings fought each other for control of the Frankish realm.”

William of Orange (Guillaume of Gellone)

“William of Gellone the medieval William of Orange, was the second Duke of Toulouse from 790 until 811. In 804, he founded the abbey of Gellone. He was canonized a saint in 1066 by Pope Alexander II.

In the tenth or eleventh century, a Latin hagiography, the Vita sancti Willelmi, was composed based on oral traditions. By the twelfth century, William's legend had grown. He is the hero of an entire cycle of chansons de geste, the earliest of which is the Chanson de Guillaume of about 1140.”

“William was born in northern France in the mid-8th century. He was a cousin of Charlemagne (his mother Aldana was daughter of Charles Martel) and the son of Thierry IV, Count of Autun. As a kinsman and trusted comes, he spent his youth in the court of Charlemagne...William's faithful service to Charlemagne is portrayed as an example of feudal loyalty.

William's career battling Saracens is sung in epic poems in the 12th and 13th century cycle called La Geste de Garin de Monglane, some two dozen chansons de geste...The defeat of the Moors at Orange was given legendary treatment in the 12th century epic La Prise d'Orange. There, he was made Count of Toulouse...then King of Aquitaine in 778. He is difficult to separate from the legends and poems that gave him feats of arms, lineage and titles: Guillaume Fièrebras, Guillaum au Court-Nez (broken in a battle with a giant), Guillaum de Narbonne, Guillaume d'Orange. His wife is said to have been a converted Saracen, Orable later christened Guibourc.”

Prise d'Orange

“The Prise d'Orange ("Conquest of Orange"), is an Old French chanson de geste from the end of the twelfth-century...Compared to earlier chansons de geste, its tone is frequently playful, comic and parodic and it introduces romantic (courtly love) elements taken from the medieval romance.”

“The story is as follows: an escaped prisoner from Orange (Guillebert) comes to William in Nîmes and describes to him the beauties of the Saracen held city and of its queen Orable. William decides to see it for himself and succeeds in wooing the queen. After a series of adventures, William takes the city and marries a newly baptized Orable, renamed Guibourc.”

House of Guise

“The House of Guise was a French noble family, partly responsible for the French Wars of Religion. The House of Guise was founded as a cadet branch of the House of Lorraine by Claude of Lorraine, first Duke of Guise (1496–1550), who entered French service and was made a duke by King Francis I. The family's high rank was due not to possession of the Guise dukedom but to their membership in a sovereign dynasty, which procured for them the rank of prince étranger at the royal court of France. Claude's daughter Mary of Guise (1515–1560) married King James V of Scotland and was mother of Mary, Queen of Scots.”

#egyptianbread #egyptian hieroglyphs #geez #geezscript #arianism #gothicchristianity #goths #geats #burgundy #gjuki #giselerofburgundy #guillameofgellone #williamoforange #emperorcharlemagne #princessorable #queenguibourc #queenmariedeguise #houseofguise

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gingerssnapped720 · 6 years

Text

Introduction To The Cult

Good morning, dear reader. What shall we talk about today?

When last we met, I was babbling on about my immediate family dynamics, and I ended my post with the birth of myself and my little brother. I suppose that’s as good a place to start as any.

Like I said before, I was born on Friday, July 20, 1979. My mother told me that my original due date was at the end of August, but that I was born several weeks early. My mother hemorrhaged while giving birth to me, and needed an emergency c-section. I am told that I cried incessantly because I was too thin and could not hold my own body heat, so Mom put a hot water bottle in my bassinet with me to keep me warm.

My bassinet was large and black, and converted into a victorian style pram, with chrome decorative mounts on the sides and hood. Mom made both yellow and green skirts for it, with satin ribbons and matching sheets. She loved to sew when I was little. She made our clothes, dolls, doll clothes, pillows, and curtains. I still have one of the dresses Mom made, and my daughter Katie wore it when she was around 9 or 10. I cry every time I see the picture of her wearing it.

I don’t remember much of my early years. My very first memory is sitting on the living room floor, watching my Dad read the newspaper, and trying to get his attention. I must have been around four years old. I remember my Mom being pregnant and losing the baby. She named the baby Robin, because she didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl, and she spoke of them once in a while when she was especially sad. And then when she became pregnant again, I remember how scared she was of the baby making it. But he did make it.

Nathan was born April 19, 1984, and I remember spending several days at Baka*’s house while my Mom was in the hospital. I liked being with Baka, except for her religious fanaticism. She was old world Polish, and she cooked homemade perogi and borscht, which the smell of makes me sick, even to this day. And seaweed. Always this woman with the boiled seaweed. She swore it made her strong. She was strong. There’s a story of Baka buying herself a kitchen table set from a yard sale, and carrying it home piece by piece. She hurt her knee once when walking home from the grocery store, when she tripped over railroad tracks, and she limped all the way home. Groceries and all.

After Nathan came home from the hospital, life got interesting. Mom had had another c-section, because in those days once you’d had a c-section, that is the only way they’d let you deliver from then on. She’d hemorrhaged again, and I remember the blood issue coming up for the first time. Whispers in the hallway and at our worship meetings about whether or not my mother had received a blood transfusion, were hushed whenever I got close enough to hear. I don’t know if she did or not.

Why is this a big deal? Because, dear reader, now comes the first “unbelievable” part of my story. You see religious fanaticism was not just a flaw of my grandmother, it was a flaw of the entire community of people I was raised with. It is an affliction that three of my aunts and two of my uncles suffer from to this day. It is the affliction of two of my children’s paternal grandparents, and the affliction of multiple family members of dear friends, who have since escaped the horror we grew up in.

When I say the word “cult” people instantly think of scenarios like “Heaven's Gate” or “The Manson Family”. Compounds with barracks, polygamy, hundreds of children fathered by a handful of men, and escapes delicately orchestrated by social workers and the FBI.

Sorry to disappoint.

My life inside the cult was not nearly so dramatic, nor was my leaving. No news cameras, no guns, no blood, no poisoned kool-aid. Nothing but the pounding of my own heart as my two little girls clung to me. No husband, no job, no home, no family, no money, no electricity, no heat, no phone, and a car I had no way to pay for. Leaving was silent. And the silence was more terrifying than gunshots.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The cult my family belonged to was an extension of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. The Jehovah’s Witnesses. This religious organization estimates some 8.5 million members, although Wolfram Alpha estimates that number is closer to 16.6 million people who identify themselves as Jehovah’s Witnesses worldwide. They have 119,954 congregations in 240 countries.

“But that’s not a cult!”, you say.

I can hear you, dear reader. Rolling your eyes? Let me guess. You have a mother, brother, best-friend’s cousin who is a “Jehovah”, as so many people refer to them?

“They’re the nicest people I’ve ever met!”, you say. “I work with a guy who’s a ‘Jehovah”. He’s such a hard worker! Always on time, never swears, never a bad word from him about anyone!”

Yes. I’m sure all of that is true.

“But I’ve been to a few of their meetings! They’re so nice and welcoming! They’ve even been to my house and prayed with me. They study with my daughter and she loves it!”

Yes, yes I’m sure that has been your experience. There is a reason that has been your experience. And over the course of this narrative, I will show you what that reason is.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines religion as “a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices” and also as “scrupulous conformity”. I find both those definitions fascinating. I wonder what religion means to you personally, reader?

When I was born, I was born into a strange world. There were five religious meetings a week, split into three sessions, held on three separate days. Monday was our “Book Study” meeting. A bible based publication produced by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, was studied in sections, once a week at the home of an approved congregational member in good standing. It was conducted by a male Elder, who was assisted by another male who read aloud from the selected publication. This reader usually held the title of “Ministerial Servant” or “Baptized Publisher”.

Wednesday was the night of the “Ministry School” and “Local Needs” meetings, held back to back, generally beginning at 7pm and ending between 9 and 9:30pm. This was the meeting that tested the backsides and skull resilience of every infant, child, and teen in the seats. Children were expected to be quiet and well behaved. Even infants were subject to physical discipline if they misbehaved. Children over the age of four were expected to sit up straight and pay attention to the speaker, regardless of the subject. My friend John’s father used to flick the back of his children’s heads so hard it could be heard several rows back. Every child within earshot would sit up straighter so the same wouldn’t befall them from their own parents or other congregation members within flicking range.

I remember very young children with pajamas on under their suits and dresses. Females were not permitted to wear pants during ANY religious event, regardless of weather, health, etc. Sleepy children with sore backsides, desperately trying to stay awake through the incessant droning of the speaker to avoid another lashing with the ruler or wooden spoon that stood straight up out of their parent’s book bag or briefcase pocket. A proud symbol to the congregational Elders, and anyone else, that discipline was swift and merciless in their household.

These wednesday meetings were where constituents learned how to talk to “wordly” people, to “share the good news of God’s kingdom”. Basically it was recruitment training. Congregation members were warned to appear “blameless in all things” as “not to bring reproach on God’s name”. To be “no part of the world as Jesus was no part of the world.” Here male adults and boys as young as eight were called upon to give “Talks” or sermons that they had wrote themselves, and then publicly critiqued by an Elder. Role play for female adults down to very young girls about how to use charm, modesty, and bible knowledge to gain entry to people’s homes and start bible studies with the families they met in their door to door “teaching” work. These role play sessions were also critiqued publicly. Disabled and elderly congregation members were encouraged to write letters or make phone calls to families who had recently lost someone, and “teach” them about how they could see their loved ones resurrected. These families were found through obituary listings and newspaper articles, and by picking names out of the phone book.

Nothing like preying on bereaved families at their most vulnerable. The thought of it now makes me sick to my stomach.

Sunday held the “Sunday Talk” and “Watchtower Study” meetings. The sunday talk would consist of an Elder from another local congregation giving an hour long sermon, the subject of which was selected from a list of approved outlines, and then approved by the congregation “Talk Coordinator”. After the “Talk”, the congregation studied a preselected article in the “Watchtower” publication, which was a thin magazine, written and produced by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, that was also used in their door to door preaching. This meeting was conducted much like the Wednesday night Book Study meeting, with an Elder presiding, and a Ministerial Servant reading. Pre-written questions were asked by the presiding elder, and microphones were passed to constituents who wished to answer those questions, often by reading the answer verbatim from the article.

After the Sunday meeting, congregational members were encouraged to participate in the door to door preaching work. There was also preaching work on Saturday morning, usually beginning around 9am. This “work” was to the dread and embarrassment of every school age member in attendance. We lived in fear of knocking on a door and finding a classmate, or worse a bully, on the other side. Congregation members who did not participate in going door to door regularly would be chastised by Elders, shamed by their peers, and ostracized by the congregation as a whole.

My entire family lived with the label of “Bad Association” due to my father no longer attending meetings beginning in 1984, and my mother’s severe and obvious mental health issues. My mother suffered from Agoraphobia, Social Phobia, Claustrophobia, Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and may have also been schizophrenic. All of which were exacerbated by my brother Michael’s suicide in 1990.

Mental health issues were not adequate to excuse you from your duty to preach door to door, participate at meetings, or to appear “blameless in all things”. Sufferers of mental health disorders (including Homosexuality, and Gender Dysphoria) were counseled to pray. If prayer didn’t work, they were shamed by the Elders and other congregation members for not praying hard enough, because Jehovah their God would save them from their suffering, if they only had faith. Mental health sufferers were forbidden to seek outside counseling, use psychiatric prescriptions, or speak of their struggles as not to “stumble other members of the congregation”.

My brother died, because of this heartless policy.

#cult #JW #JehovahsWitnesses #MentalHealth #Suicide #GingersSnapped720

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yeastinfectionvale · 2 months

Note

If the other dude sends me one more message I will commit to blocking him since he’s just been cheating and mooching off some of my other classmates all year (even started sending me messages during the euros finals)

— London anon

BLOCK HIMMMM (or send him incorrect shit or invitations to become a Jehovah's Witness.)

#asks??? in this economy???#london anon #i remember when i nearly became a jehovahs witness #and also nearly became a quaker

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catholiccom-blog · 8 years

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Bart Brewer, a Priest Turned Anti-Catholic

In my early years as an apologist, most of my sparring partners were Fundamentalists. A few were Evangelicals. Others belonged to native-born sects, such as Mormonism and the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Still others belonged to foreign imports, such as Iglesia ni Cristo, a cultish group that originated in the Philippines.

Some of my opponents once had been Catholic. Their animus toward the Church usually was greater than that of born non-Catholics. I always thought the apostates to be like the young man who, once so infatuated with his girlfriend, insists only after he jilts her that all along she was a vile creature about whom nothing good can be said.

Former priest turned against the Church

It was that way with the late Bart Brewer, a one-time Discalced Carmelite priest. He was brought up in Philadelphia with, apparently, a coddling mother and too little experience of everyday life. As he freely admitted in writing a short account of his background, after his ordination in 1957 his religious superiors sent him to the Philippines, from which he was summarily booted back home after becoming infatuated with a high school girl. (There seemed to be nothing beyond infatuation in the relationship.)

Back in the States, Brewer underwent a change of religious allegiance. He became a Seventh-day Adventist because his mother became one. Later he became a Baptist. At some indeterminate point he concluded that his calling was to undermine the Church he once had been part of. Perhaps it simply was that he wasn’t trained for anything other than religious work and, then near 40, didn’t see any other avenue open to him.

I’ve seen that kind of thing working in the other direction too: older converts to the Catholic Faith, some of them already into early middle age, looking around and realizing that they were at a loss as to what to do. In their Protestant churches they had held positions of authority, but now they were Catholic laymen without jobs. Not a few of them began ministries of their own. A few proved able to settle in well, but others, perhaps never quite setting aside their Protestant mindsets, ended up taking their ministries (or perhaps their ministries took them) to the edge of Catholicism—or over the edge.

Some became as bitter toward their former Protestant faith as Brewer became toward his former Catholic Faith. Not satisfied with jilting the Church, he had to attack it too, which he did for decades through the ministry he founded, Mission to Catholics International. (“International” was a bit misleading, since all of Brewer’s touring and speaking seemed to be confined to the U.S.)

A lack of training in the Faith

I once visited Brewer at his office, which was in a building located on the grounds of the church that he attended but wasn’t the presiding minister of. It wasn’t a large office since his ministry was small: himself, his wife, a few volunteers to stuff envelopes. Trying to find something innocuous to say, I complimented him on having several good books on his shelves. He waved away my remark, saying that he didn’t read them or any other books because all he needed to read was the Bible. He seemed to take pride in not being what George Wallace used to call a “pointy-headed intellectual.”

(Weirdly, for months his ministry stocked my book Catholicism and Fundamentalism, presumably because I devoted a chapter to Brewer, who never had been written up at such length. Suddenly the ministry ceased stocking it. I suppose someone told Brewer that, while he might like publicity, the chapter about him undercut his credibility and hardly could be expected to expand his following.)

Although Brewer’s seminary training had been before Vatican II—at a time, most of us would think, when such training must have been solid—he seemed to know little about Catholicism, other than that now he opposed it. In opposing it he adopted the tones of anti-Catholic Protestants of the nineteenth and earlier centuries, warning his listeners about dark “papist” conspiracies as he showed them hosts (presumably unconsecrated) in a ciborium.

Brewer affected a Southern drawl, in emulation perhaps of television preachers he admired. It was as though such an accent were expected of one in his position, even though he grew up in the City of Brotherly Love. Along with the drawl came an unctuousness that brought to my mind Dickens’s Uriah Heep.

Despite all that, I had a soft spot for Brewer, frustrating though I often found him. Yes, he was an apostate and, worse, an apostate priest, but he also was a self-broken man. I couldn’t help thinking that, deep down, he was disappointed with himself, and I always had the sense that his wife was the stronger anti-Catholic and something of a goad.

For a while Brewer’s ministry had a degree of success—its newsletter contained many notes of thanks and praise from Baptists he had spoken to around the country—but it never managed to grow into anything self-sustaining. When he suffered a stroke, the ministry went into eclipse. There was no one to carry on the work. He died at 80 in 2005. (Strangely, the Mission to Catholics International website still exists, with a note about the newsletter: “due to prolonged illness last updated July 1998.”)

A losing debate

I debated Brewer in 1986. The debate was held at his church, with his minister as the moderator and his congregation as the bulk of the audience. Brewer took nearly twice the time we had agreed upon—the moderator seemed never to have discovered his wristwatch—and belittled the Catholic Church with every adjective at his disposal. He was in his element, among his people, and there were many “Amens!” from the audience.

After it all ended, as I was putting away my things and speaking with questioners, I overheard a congregant tell her friend that she was appalled at how Brewer and his minister had treated their Catholic guest. She said, “I’m not going to fellowship here anymore.” It seemed to be a sentiment shared by others.

I had to feel sorry for Brewer. This was his first and, as it turned out, his only public debate, and it was he who ended up being jilted.

#Catholic Answers #Karl Keating #Bart Brewer #Anti-Catholicism #Anti-Catholic #Catholic Teaching

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itsfinancethings · 5 years

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October 24, 2019 at 08:08AM

Robert Chelsea turned down the first face he was offered. It was a fine face, one that could have taken him off the transplant waiting list after just a couple months. But -Chelsea—severely disfigured after a catastrophic car accident five years -earlier—was in no hurry. He’d gotten used to tilting his head back so food and water wouldn’t fall out of his nearly lipless mouth. He knew how to respond compassionately to children who stared in shock and fear. The face, offered in May 2018, had belonged to a man with skin that was much fairer than what remained of -Chelsea’s—so light that Chelsea, who is African American, couldn’t bear the thought of becoming “a totally different–looking person.”

Chelsea’s doctors understood his hesitance. Face transplants in general are rare. Since the first partial one was performed in France in 2005, fewer than 50 have been completed worldwide. A new patient joining the ranks is always noteworthy, but Chelsea’s case carries even more weight than usual. Because he is the first African American to receive a full face transplant, Chelsea’s treatment is expected to have ripple effects that transcend his case. Disparities in the medical system that cause black Americans to die at higher rates than whites of so many things—like heart disease, cancer diabetes and HIV/AIDS—have also produced gaps in organ donation and transplantation. Widespread mistrust of the medical system has made many African Americans wary of tissue donation, contributing to donor shortages; in turn, only 17% of black patients awaiting an organ transplant got one in 2015, compared with about 30% of white patients.

Chelsea’s accidental role as the literal and figurative face of black organ transplantation is likely to help chip away at those disparities. “Having a visible, tangible reference, especially for African Americans … is so needed,” says Marion Shuck, president of the Association for Multicultural Affairs in Transplantation (AMAT). Sharing personal experiences publicly, Shuck says, could inspire potential donors with a clear example of a transplant’s positive impact. Though facial donation is rare, Chelsea’s story could encourage black Americans, and their families, to donate kidneys, livers or lungs, saving lives and reducing wait times across the country.

It took more than a year for Chelsea to get a second call—the one that would land him in a bed at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital, receiving a new face that was a near -perfect skin-color match, and that made him both the first African American to undergo a face transplant and, at 68, the oldest recipient ever. “Morning by morning, new versions [of me] unfold,” Chelsea said on the day he was discharged from the hospital in August, nearly a month after surgery. “[But] I feel like myself.”

John Francis Peters for TIMERobert Chelsea shops for groceries at a local market near a friend’s apartment where he was temporarily staying in Los Angeles in February 2019

Chelsea was having car trouble one Monday night in August 2013, so he pulled onto the shoulder of a highway outside his home near Long Beach, Calif. Soon after, a drunk driver slammed into his car, and it burst into flames. Chelsea, a sales manager for a rubber-stamp business, was rushed to a hospital with third–degree burns covering almost half his body.

After being transferred to the University of California Irvine Medical Center, Chelsea spent four months drifting in and out of consciousness as doctors fought to save his life. He had 18 surgeries in that time—-mostly skin grafting for his burns, but also abdominal operations to treat serious gastrointestinal complications that had developed as his body struggled to stay alive. Blood–pressure medications shunted blood flow to his heart and away from his extremities, leading to tissue death in his lips, nose and fingers. One of his surgeons, Dr. Victor Joe, called him “one of the sickest patients we’ve had.”

Chelsea left UC Irvine in December 2013 with his life—but by the end of his recovery he would lose his lips, the end of his nose, several fingertips and two-thirds of his intestines. His face was severely scarred, and his hands were covered in cadaver skin that matched Chelsea’s skin tone but never quite mimicked its texture; Chelsea called it his “snakeskin.” All told, he would eventually carry the skin of three different people. An organ donor himself before the accident, he had no idea how difficult replacing his skin would prove to be.

The barriers went up long before Chelsea was born. In 1932, researchers from the U.S. Public Health Service launched a study at -Alabama’s Tuskegee Institute that would change the American medical system for decades to come. The trial was covertly designed for researchers to observe the effects of untreated syphilis over the course of four decades. Six hundred black men, mostly share-croppers, enrolled in the trial, lured by the promise of free transportation-, meals and medical care. About two-thirds of the men had syphilis, and half were given the then standard treatment of arsenic and mercury. The other -infected men were given no treatment at all—even after penicillin was discovered to be an effective syphilis therapy in the 1940s. They were left to die; pass the disease on to partners and children; or develop complications like heart failure, mental instability and blindness.

John Francis Peters for TIMEChelsea with his daughter Ebony at home in California in February 2019, months before his transplant surgery

When the Associated Press exposed the study in 1972, public outcry was immediate. Survivors and the families of deceased patients won roughly $10 million in a 1974 settlement. Two decades later, in 1997, President Bill Clinton apologized for Tuskegee, calling it “deeply, profoundly, morally wrong.” But the wound was deep, and it would scar. “African Americans still do not believe the health care profession will take care of them,” Shuck says.

That mistrust wasn’t built on Tuskegee alone. In the 1800s, enslaved people were commonly drafted as unwilling, unanesthetized subjects for medical experiments, and their deceased bodies were frequently dissected. Even after slavery was abolished, black patients were often turned away by white doctors and hospitals. When they did get treatment, it wasn’t always ethical. Henrietta Lacks famously had her fast–replicating, cancerous cervical tissue taken without consent in 1951; the cells eventually became a lucrative cornerstone of medical research, kick-starting a decades-long debate over informed consent and who profits from scientific advancement. Such incidents, and numerous others like them, still loom large, especially in a world where many physicians, according to one 2017 research review, implicitly favor white patients. “The whole medical system follows along with the racism that the country was built upon,” says Dr. Vanessa Grubbs, a nephrologist at the University of California, San Francisco.

Famous historical examples mix with families’ more contemporary, personal stories of mistreatment, leaving many African Americans skittish of doctors, says Dr. Damon Tweedy, an associate professor of psychiatry at the Duke University School of Medicine and the author of Black Man in a White Coat. “There’s some remnant of that that you internalize,” he says. Though he’s black himself, Tweedy says patients have asked if his hospital is “experimenting” on them or using them as “guinea pigs.”

It’s perhaps no surprise, then, that many African Americans are hesitant to volunteer for medical -studies—often an important first step in developing effective treatments. A ProPublica analysis of Food and Drug Administration data found that in many trials for drugs approved from 2015 to 2018, less than 10% of research participants were black. (The research community is working to close such gaps through initiatives like the National Institutes of Health’s All of Us trial, a million–person study trying to recruit under-researched populations.) As a result, doctors today know far more about white bodies than about black bodies, even though black Americans report higher rates of conditions like Type 2 diabetes, heart disease and many cancers—largely because of centuries of structural inequities that have, among other consequences, left more than 10% of black Americans without health insurance compared with about 6% of whites, and 21% of black households without secure access to quality food compared with less than 10% of white households.

Understanding that complicated history is crucial to understanding the state of organ transplantation in the U.S. today. Black patients, on average, face longer waits for major organs like kidneys, lungs and hearts than white patients, meaning more may die before they get the surgeries they need. That’s in part because African Americans, who make up about 13% of the U.S. population, account for roughly 30% of the transplant waiting list, according to federal data. By contrast, about 65% of deceased donors are white, and white Americans make up only about 40% of the waiting list.

Higher rates of chronic disease among African Americans mean both that a disproportionate number need transplants, and that fewer have living family members healthy enough to donate organs like kidneys and livers. Even if they do, Shuck says, “we don’t want to ask our family because we don’t want to put them at risk, so we languish longer.”

Religious and philosophical beliefs may also play a role, says Dr. Charles Bratton, a transplant surgeon at Loma Linda University Health who has studied donation disparities. Jehovah’s Witnesses, 27% of whom are black in the U.S., do not accept blood transfusions, which can also dissuade them from being involved with organ transplants. Members of some religions that believe in resurrection, like Southern Baptists, may also want their bodies to be whole when they die, even though most religions allow organ donation. Finally, people in the U.S., unlike those in some European countries, have to actively opt in to organ donation rather than opting out, further depressing donation rates. All told, according to the most recent federal survey on attitudes toward organ donation, only 39% of black Americans’ driver’s licenses marked them as organ donors, compared with almost 65% of white Americans.

J. Kiely Jr.—Lightchaser Photography“I’m more excited than nervous,” Chelsea says on the day of his face-transplant surgery at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston in July 2019

“Do you see the way they look at me? It’s cute. They’re curious,” Chelsea said the first time we met, in November 2018, months before his surgery. He’d told me to drive straight from the airport to his gym in Victorville, Calif.—it was Monday, and he always worked out on Mondays. From there, we went on an errand to Metro-PCS, then to pick up tacos for lunch. People stared, but Chelsea was good–natured about it. “I don’t blame them,” he said. “It’s scary. It’s like I’m wearing a Halloween mask.”

Five years after his accident, Chelsea insisted that his appearance didn’t bother him, in large part thanks to the deep-seated Christian faith that helped him through his recovery. He also joked that he was “no knockout looker” before the accident, though friends and family remember it differently. His acceptance was so unflinching, in fact, that when Dr. Bohdan Pomahac, director of plastic–surgery -transplantation at Brigham Health, first approved him for a face transplant, Chelsea wasn’t sure he wanted one at all.

Chelsea’s attitude was exceptional. Losing one’s face—a person’s introduction to the world—is psychologically scarring for most who experience it. Face–transplant recipients are required to undergo extensive counseling to ensure they’re prepared to accept their new appearance. It can be especially difficult when one’s racial identity is also at stake. While a black patient awaiting a kidney or heart doesn’t need a black donor, a complexion match is considered crucial for visible transplants, to preserve as much of one’s identity as possible.

Physical appearance is far from the only determinant of racial identity, but it’s certainly a factor, says Jessica DeCuir-Gunby, a professor at North Carolina State University who studies the topic but has not worked with Chelsea. Accepting a face from a donor with a much lighter skin tone could present a nuanced set of emotions, she says, since black identity exists across a spectrum of colors, hair textures and facial features. A drastic change in appearance can unmoor someone from his or her identity, potentially resulting in psychological trauma, she says. Dr. Sheila Jowsey-Gregoire, a transplant psychiatrist at the Mayo Clinic who has not worked with Chelsea, says that while most face–transplant patients have done the hard work of accepting that they’ll never look exactly like they once did, altering their racial identity could lead to unforeseen negative consequences.

The need for a precise color match further shrinks an already small pool of potential donors: in the federal survey on organ donation, only about 41% of black respondents said they’d be at least “somewhat” willing to donate a face, vs. about 61% of Caucasian respondents. Even Chelsea, who is largely un-interested in the superficial aspects of appearance, balked at the prospect of accepting a face so much lighter than the one he knew.

Tony Luong for TIME Robert Chelsea leaves the hospital after being dispatched in August 2019

It wasn’t just the possibility of a stranger in the mirror that gave Chelsea pause. Organ-transplant patients need to take immune–system–suppression drugs for the rest of their lives to keep their bodies from rejecting their donor organs. His health had been stable in the years after his recovery from the accident, and the transplant would take him back to a world of constant doctor’s appointments and medications. And while Chelsea’s surgery would be performed for free, thanks to a grant Brigham and Women’s received from the Department of Defense to test a less cumbersome post-transplant immune–suppression regimen-, his family would still have to pay some travel and caretaker expenses associated with the surgery. When NYU Langone last year performed the first face transplant covered by commercial insurance, the hospital estimated it would have cost about $1.5 million out of pocket. Even without taking on any of those costs, Chelsea’s family had to launch a GoFundMe to pay for miscellaneous expenses, raising more than $75,000. Even more conventional transplants can be expensive. Tweedy says the financial burden of becoming a living donor and recovering from an invasive surgery, which often requires time off from work, discourages lower-income -patients-—who tend to be disproportionately of color—from participating in transplants.

Chelsea’s 30-year-old daughter Ebony was even more concerned than her father. Seeing him in critical condition after his accident was like “going to a movie theater and watching the scariest movie that they had out, and you replayed it over and over and over,” she says. “You went through all that, and all of a sudden you want to go over here and [have another procedure]? Any surgery has complications.”

But Chelsea ultimately wanted to eat and drink normally, to spit, to swallow a pill, to close his mouth—and, most of all, he said, to kiss Ebony on the cheek. Eventually he decided those promises outweighed the risks.

It took a while, he says, to recognize the significance of becoming the first African–American face-transplant recipient. When the realization came, it was tinged with discomfort. “There is a degree of pride, admittedly, and yet I’m not sure that it’s something to be proud of,” Chelsea said about six months before his surgery. “To celebrate an individual because they haven’t done anything any more than anybody else, they just happened to be there at the right time … there’s nothing holy about those actions.” Still, Chelsea could recognize that the surgery came with a higher purpose: providing a positive example of how transplantation can change lives, especially for black Americans. “We are a lot more hesitant to be a donor,” he says. “It causes us to lose out when we need a kidney or a liver or a lung.”

John Francis Peters for TIMEChelsea consults with Dr. Bohdan Pomahac, the lead surgeon who performed his transplant, at Brigham and Women’s in October 2019

Chelsea’s surgeon was undaunted by the year-plus search for a donor, even after coming so close with the first face last spring. “All it takes is one. Sooner or later you will find one,” Pomahac said about six months before ultimately finding the donor face that would become Chelsea’s. Last year, less than 7% of the organs procured in overwhelmingly white New England, where Brigham and Women’s is located, came from African–American donors. While Pomahac and his team could theoretically accept a donor organ from any region, the hospital’s policy dictates that travel to the donor site cannot exceed four hours, in part to preserve the function of the organ. To look outside New -England—as Pomahac and his team eventually did—would require finding a location within easy flying distance of Boston.

Chelsea never second-guessed his decision to turn down that first face—but he also couldn’t have guessed how long the search would drag on. He and Pomahac had used a 1-to-18 scale to discuss potential donors’ -complexions—1 being the lightest—on which Pomahac says Chelsea is a 15 or 16. They originally looked for donors falling from 8 to 16 but, after months of no luck, Chelsea eventually agreed to consider donors as light as 5. Even that didn’t work.

Then, this spring, Pomahac encouraged Chelsea to consider a full facial transplant instead of the partial one they’d planned to replace just the lower portion of his face. Pomahac was mostly focused on cosmetics, but Chelsea and his family hoped the decision would also speed up the search process by eliminating the need to blend exactly with Chelsea’s surviving skin, making imperfect matches less obvious. Chelsea agreed to the full -transplant—and finally, more than a year after he joined the transplant waiting list, he got the call in July. His doctors had found a match with a near identical skin tone. He had 24 hours to make the biggest decision of his life, based only on descriptions of the donor’s complexion, age and medical risk factors, then fly from Los -Angeles to Boston for the surgery. “I had to believe,” he said that day. “I was just hoping that it was a legit call.”

In another state, another man had just received a very different phone call. Shortly after learning that his 62-year-old brother had died suddenly, James, 51, was approached by the Gift of Life Donor Program about donating his brother Adrian’s internal organs—and his face. James didn’t know his brother’s wishes but was staunchly in favor of organ donation himself after serving in the Air Force, where he says the practice was valued. He knew that Adrian—a talented athlete and guitarist who loved to play Hendrix, worked in construction and was always “ready to light up a room”—would want to help someone else. “He would give the shirt off his back for -anybody,” James says. After calls to his five other siblings, James decided to move forward with donation, comforted by the fact that part of his older brother would be “still here and on this earth, [so] he lives on.” He had no idea that his brother’s would be the first African–American face ever to be transplanted.

To Chelsea, the face he would receive was anonymous. But the loss another family had to suffer to give him a new beginning was the only subject that made him grow somber in the chaotic hours before surgery.

“Losing a loved one and being asked something like this … I can’t imagine,” he said. “I do feel hopeful that I can pick up some of the pieces that the family may have lost.”

John Francis Peters for TIMEIn the weeks after surgery, Chelsea’s doctors at Brigham and Women’s said his recovery was unusually smooth

Those 24 hours began a well–rehearsed dance of more than 45 surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, pharmacists, research fellows, social workers and a chaplain. Pomahac, who with his team had performed eight previous face transplants, boarded a plane with three other doctors to get Adrian’s face, which they carefully removed and placed on ice. In Boston, the Brigham and Women’s staff prepped Chelsea for surgery, exposing the nerves and vessels that would soon be attached to the donor’s tissues using hair-thin sutures so tiny that Pomahac had to sew them under a microscope.

When Chelsea emerged from the 16-hour surgery, his godson, Everick Brown, could focus on only one thing. “I was like, ‘Look at those juicy lips,’” Brown laughed. “‘He’s going to be happy.’” Even in the early hours of Chelsea’s recovery, before the swelling had gone down, Brown could tell Pomahac and his team had done a good job. Aside from his lips, Brown said, his godfather looked shockingly similar to the way he did before. “It was a joy,” Brown said. “It’s the first time I’ve used the word miracle.”

By the second day post-op, Chelsea’s heaviest pain medication was Tylenol. Within 10 days, he was eating, talking and breathing on his own—and though Pomahac says the nerve-rich lips never regain full function after a transplant, Chelsea’s dream of kissing his daughter on the cheek is within reach.

It’s not only Chelsea’s life that will change. Tweedy says stories like his can help rebuild trust with the medical system. “Sharing,” he says, “can go a long way to healing.” Research bears that out: a 2013 study on encouraging organ donation found that successful approaches typically “comprise a strong interpersonal element that focused on the particular population’s concerns, delivered by members of the local community.” A number of awareness days and weeks—including National -Minority Donor Awareness Week in August—are meant to boost donation rates, as are initiatives like the United Network for Organ Sharing’s ambassador program, which encourages donors, recipients and those on the waiting list to speak publicly about their experiences. James recently decided to take on the role informally, after learning of the historical significance of his brother’s donation. “I think it’d be a dis-service to stay anonymous,” he says.“Hopefully this story can put that in a light for others to donate.” Changes meant to bring medical equality are also taking root more broadly. A growing number of medical schools, for example, are waiving tuition to attract a more diverse pool of doctors in training, among other goals.

Before his surgery, Chelsea began establishing Donor’s Dream, a nonprofit meant to encourage and provide information about organ donation. Even in the grueling weeks after surgery, as the swelling came down, his speech and vision improved and his new skin started to glow and sprout hair, he felt that the experience was bigger than him—one that would evolve into a future he couldn’t yet imagine.

“I was concerned about humanity way before this surgery,” he said about 10 weeks after the operation, after moving into a temporary apartment in Boston, where he would complete weeks of follow-up care. “We must help one another. That’s the way I felt, and this experience has only validated that even more.”

#IFTTT #Blogger

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comebeforegod · 5 years

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A Christian’s Testimony: How Should We Deal With Satan’s Temptations on the Way to Welcome the Lord?

By Yingying, Malaysia

A pilgrim’s path is perilous. A Christian’s road of following God on the right path is full of difficulties and obstacles—all sorts of Satan’s tests emerge one after another.

Aside from having faith in God, Christians must also learn discernment. This is the only way to see through Satan’s trickery and stand witness when Satan’s test befalls you. Now, I’d like to share my own personal story with everyone.

Wonderful News—The Lord Has Returned!

The Pastor Spreads Lies and I See the Truth Behind Them

Loved Ones Stand in the Way But I See Through Satan’s Tricks

Restoring Our Old Warmth and Harmony

#gospel #witness #save #truth

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yasbxxgie · 6 years

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Prince maneuvered better in his high heels than most stiletto-clad women do. He would do the splits, jump up, high kick, squat, and run back and forth onstage with specially built 4-inch and 3 1/3-inch height boosters at his soles. After all, Prince Rogers Nelson was a man of mega-talent and charisma but was also of diminutive size. He was famously 5-foot-3 and chose to wear heels to lift himself up a bit, though he certainly didn’t need it. Prince also once said that he liked to wear heels because women were attracted to them—and why not? His aura was a regal, ethereal, sexed-up shade of purple, and his style had to match all of that pomp. Prince had his heels—around 3,000 pairs, to be exact—made to his measurements by a 60-year-old cobbler shop on Sunset Boulevard called Andre No. 1. It was founded by Andre Rostomyan, who became known as one of Hollywood’s most sought-after cobblers by celebrities including Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack. Today, his nephew Gary Kazanchyan runs the shop and creates custom footwear for actors and actresses in TV and film, as well as musicians like Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars. For nearly 20 years, Prince was one of his most loyal customers.

The relationship began when a stylist from Prince’s team contacted Andre and asked him to create a shoe last, or a wooden mold made in the exact measurements of the foot. Prince was around a women’s size 5 1/2 or a 6. He wanted a heeled bootie shoe that he could wear onstage, at home, and everywhere in between. The shoes that resulted were all exactly the same shape and size, but each month, the artist and his team would send in new design requests that often included a rare silk fabric or a light-up Lucite heel. Sometimes, Gary and his team would only have two days to build a new pair; every shoe was made to match Prince’s extensive collection of glam-god ensembles. “At one point, we were averaging 30 to 40 pairs of shoes a month for Prince,” Gary says. “I think he must have worn at least two or three of those shoes a day because he refused to be seen at, say, a press conference in the morning wearing the same heels as he wore onstage the night before.”

Though most of the design consultations were done over the phone and by mail, Prince did visit Andre No. 1 a few times when he was in Los Angeles. “He was very much involved in the process,” Gary says. “Prince would get attached to a certain fabric and bring it in to me and ask, ‘Okay, how can we cut this? Do we do it on the bias?’ He really dug into the process.” The details had to be precise, even when it was just a simple color or fabric change of the same shoe from the original mold. Sometimes, the musician’s stylist would attach Prince’s symbol to the zipper for added embellishment. And because Prince’s performances required intense movement, the heel was supported with a stainless steel bar, so as to ensure that it wouldn’t snap off when he was coming back up from a split. “We also used a heavier wood on the shoes that we knew he was going to do the splits in, to absorb more impact,” Gary says. Mostly, Prince wore white versions of his Andre No. 1–made heels while onstage, but of course, there were others. Gary specifically remembers a time when the musician asked him to create a purple velvet version—and because Prince had his own shade of purple, they had to get it custom-made by a fabric company in England. He also once asked Gary to make him three pairs of furry thigh-highs in white, black, and purple.

There was only one instance in which Prince was adamantly against something Gary suggested. “He was a Jehovah’s Witness,” the shoemaker explains. “I wanted to use one of the 3-D scanning machines I’d just gotten to mold the new shoe forms for him and make the process a bit faster, but he refused. I guess they don’t believe in using technology to re-create a certain part of the body.” Gary continued to make Prince’s footwear by hand, even crafting “slippers” for him to wear while he was at home. “They were actually more like platform flip-flops,” he says. “They looked a lot like those ’90s platform thongs made by brands like Rocket Dog and Soda.” Mostly, though, whether at home, onstage, or in public, Prince had his bespoke man stilts on. “I’ve seen a lot of people pull off a lot of different shoes, but there were definitely times where I thought Prince couldn’t do it, especially with all of the splits and the dancing,” Gary says. “But no matter the heel, he always did.”

[h/t]

#prince rogers nelson #prince #rip #andre no. 1 #andre rostomyan #gary kazanchyan #shoes #vogue magazine #black fashion #fashion #jehovah’s witness

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sportsgameqia-blog-blog · 6 years

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The Unlikely Preacher of Action Sports

New Post has been published on https://sportsguideto.com/trending/the-unlikely-preacher-of-action-sports/

The Unlikely Preacher of Action Sports

Sal Masekela steps off a helicopter onto the white sands of Tavarua Island Resort, a tiny speck in the Fiji archipelago, and walks into a gorgeous open-air restaurant that overlooks a world-famous reef break appropriately dubbed Restaurants. He greets the Fijian staff by name, hugging them, asking them about their lives since his last visit.

Masekela, you may recall, was the face and voice of ESPN’s X Games, hosting both the summer and winter events for more than a decade. With his iconic dreadlocks and smooth baritone, he was a fixture at the center of the action-sports universe, narrating nearly every history-making moment at the games, from Travis Pastrana’s double backflip on a motorcycle in 2006 to Shaun White’s perfect halfpipe run in 2012.

Today, six years since a breakup with ESPN, Masekela remains deeply entrenched in action sports. He is here, on the surf mecca of Tavarua, for a vacation with a group of friends comprised of athletes, movie stars, entrepreneurs, Instagram influencers, and their families. As he makes the rounds, a guest compares him to Ricardo Montalbán, the suave Mexican actor best known for playing Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island. Somehow, despite the fact that Masekela is a stocky black man, and recently bald, it’s a rather apt observation. It can be challenging to walk anywhere with Masekela, because everyone who sees him wants to stop and talk with him and he wants to talk to everybody. He is Larry David’s worst nightmare.

This is Masekela’s 16th trip to Tavarua but nonetheless a special one, because it’s his first visit since his father died from prostate cancer six months ago. Hugh Masekela was a trumpeter and is often credited as the father of South African jazz. He played and toured with everyone from Paul Simon to Dave Matthews and was nominated for three Grammys. During apartheid, Hugh left South Africa to study music in the United States, but he remained outspoken against the brutality of South African racial segregation. In 1986, he recorded “Bring Him Back Home,” a song demanding the release of Nelson Mandela that would eventually become a rallying cry for the anti-apartheid movement.

Tavarua is Masekela’s favorite place on earth, and he’d implored his father to travel there with him. They made plans for the fall of 2016 and even purchased tickets, but at the last minute, Hugh postponed. A year and a half later, he passed away. This trip, these waves, Masekela says, are for his dad.

Masekela hosting Lollapalooza in Chicago (Jeremy Deputat/Red Bull Content Pool)

The vacation also comes at a significant moment in Masekela’s career—a moment when he hopes to find a path back into the limelight. Since walking away from the X Games, he has continued to work in television, hosting a series for Red Bull Media House, reporting stories for NBC at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, and hosting a sports documentary series on Viceland, among other gigs. He’s had bit parts in movies. His band, Alekesam, which blends jazz, soul, and R&B, has been featured on HBO and Showtime and released its second album last summer. Still, Masekela has grander ambitions, though he struggles to define them.

Like many major figures from the heyday of action sports, Masekela is still coming to grips with the fact that his world has lost much of its cultural and commercial cachet. As recently as 2011, an average of more than a million viewers tuned in to watch the four-day-long Summer X Games on television. By 2017, that number dropped to 385,000. (ESPN says viewership is actually up when you account for streaming and social viewers, but declined to share year-over-year numbers.) The formerly rebel sports of snowboarding, BMX, and skateboarding have been adopted by the Olympics. The bad-boy stars of yesterday are now middle-aged dads.

Masekela has ridden the action-sports wave as far and well as he could’ve hoped, but no ride lasts forever.

That Masekela became the face of the X Games in the first place was wildly improbable. He was born in 1971 in Los Angeles, the first child of Hugh and Haitian immigrant Jessie Lapierre. By the time he turned four, his parents had moved to New York City and split up, and his mother was remarried to a Jehovah’s Witness, who raised Masekela in the church. But despite his stepdad’s best efforts, Hugh’s influence endured. Masekela split time between marijuana-clouded jazz clubs and going door to door spreading the Truth. “Growing up between those worlds gave me a strange set of skills,” he says. “For a long time they felt like a burden, like I was always working to fit in.”

His mom and stepdad moved around a lot, ultimately abandoning the East Coast for Carlsbad, California, at the start of Masekela’s senior year of high school. Relocating across the country was difficult for him. During the drive out, he spent rest-stop breaks at pay phones. “I was calling my girl back east and not saying anything,” he says. “Just weeping on the phone for like ten minutes, that high school heartbreak shit.”

But on his first morning in Carlsbad, he discovered that his new house sat on top of a steep hill with a view of the ocean, a feature that he credits with shaping the trajectory of his life. “Imagine, you walk out of this house onto this lawn, and you look and you’re like, Oh shit we’re right here.”

Masekela with his father, Hugh, in 2016 (Abby Ross)

Surfing became the focus of Masekela’s life. As a Jehovah’s Witness, he was discouraged from playing organized sports, but several of the members of his congregation surfed, and they loaned him a board and a wetsuit, which he put on backward the first time. He spent his downtime at school paging through back issues of Surfer, neglecting his schoolwork to study board sports. He refined the basic skateboarding skills he’d started developing back east, and he learned to snowboard. “Nothing else sounded as good,” he says. “I didn’t want to be around people who did it. I wanted to be around people who lived it.” He became a full-on disciple of what he would call the shred life.

The tension between his new passion and his commitment to the church began to mount. At 19, Masekela went to South Africa to meet up with his father, who had recently returned home for the first time in 30 years. It was 1991, and Mandela had just been released from prison. During the trip, Masekela explored life a bit too enthusiastically for the church’s standards. His sins were, in his words, “that I made out with a bunch of girls and smoked some pot.”

When he confessed, the elders chose to disfellowship him. “You have to keep going to church, to the meetings, but no one talks to you,” he explains. During his exile, Masekela remained close with his mother, but the social isolation was a brutal punishment. “It was without a doubt the most difficult time in my life,” he says. “I was severely depressed. I held a knife to my wrist in my kitchen many times.”

He moved to a new congregation in a nearby beach community called Leucadia. In 1993, while working at a restaurant, he crossed paths with several employees from TransWorld Media, which produces board-sports magazines and films, and he charmed his way into a job as a receptionist. In no time he worked up to sales jobs and small-scale announcing gigs for skateboarding competitions. His circle of friends expanded to include the pros he was interviewing at contests. By 1996, he was the team manager for Boks, the nascent action-sports division of Reebok, where he helped build the brand’s surf, skate, snowboard, and BMX teams.

The more entrenched he became in action sports, the further he drifted from the church, leaving religion behind for a new gospel.

Masekela’s big break came in the winter of 1997, at a snowboarding conference in Vail, Colorado. Boks had just folded, and his future was uncertain. He knew he had to do some networking.

The event took place in the wake of the first X Games, which was an embarrassment to everybody who cared about action sports. Purple skateboard ramps and clueless commentators left the community and industry furious at how their lifestyle and products had been represented.

Masekela in the studio with bandmate Sunny Levine (Abby Ross)

During a Q and A session that included executives from ESPN and MTV, Masekela decided to speak up. “At a certain point, I don’t even know what happened, but I was standing on top of my chair in the back. I said, ‘You know, I watch all these things—the X Games and what you guys are doing on MTV—and you don’t have any voices that represent our culture to tell people about what they’re seeing. Bill Bellamy doesn’t fucking snowboard. Here’s the deal: I’m young, I’m black, I surf and I snowboard, and I know that I could get in front of the camera and do that.’ ”

He got a standing ovation. “People were buying me beers all night like I had just given some weird ‘I Have a Dream’ shred speech.” At an after-party, an executive from MTV gave him a business card. The next year, Masekela was commentating the MTV Sports and Music Festival, offering the insider’s perspective he’d cultivated since landing in California years before.

By 1999, Masekela had landed a job as a reporter for the Winter X Games. The following summer, when Tony Hawk landed the first 900, Masekela was standing at the top of the ramp. From there it was pretty much game on. The action-sports wave was barreling into the mainstream, and Masekela was pitted as its chief evangelist.

Masekela’s presence on Tavarua is conspicuous for many reasons, but even if he was less gregarious, he would still stick out. Other than the Fijian staff members, he is the only black person on the entire island. By contrast, the kids on the trip are named Chili, Coast, Country, Fin, Hazel, Jet, Lyon, Oz, Rider, River, Roman, and Tashen. That list may not be exhaustive or spelled exactly right, but the point is: the only thing whiter than the sand here is the people.

Tavarua, like many tropical-island resorts, is a destination for people with money. There are spa treatments. There’s a yoga space. There’s an artificial-turf tennis court. Speaking of tennis, Masekela loves tennis. He also loves golf. When you grow up as a skateboarding Jehovah’s Witness, perhaps adding golfer to the list becomes easier.

But still, as a black man at the center of a nearly all-white industry, Masekela has encountered racism many times. In the early nineties, the owners of a surf shop where he was working let him go, telling him that business was slowing down and they needed to cut back on staff. But a friend who was still working there told him that the owners didn’t think Masekela matched the image of what a surf-shop employee should be—which is to say, white.

Masekela on Niue, in the South Pacific (Sal Masekela)

“Even though I had gone through all sorts of fucking racist shit as a result of starting surfing and snowboarding—people making fun of me and calling me a nigger and telling me that we don’t even swim—I still didn’t think something like that would happen,” he says. “It really, really fucked me up.”

When he got the job as the host of the X Games, the racism became more pernicious. People would assume he was a marketing choice made by network executives—that he had studied up on the difference between a heel flip and a pop shove-it after he got the job, when in reality he could do both of those tricks. “There were people who started to be like, ‘Wow, that’s really gutsy of ESPN to pick a black guy to do this. So smart. You don’t really do this stuff do you?’ ” The same authenticity that got him the job was suddenly being questioned because of his skin color.

“I didn’t have an agenda to be like, I’m the fucking Great Black Hope of action sports. I wanted to be the best commentator. I wanted to be seen as on par with the greats in broadcasting and entertainment.”

One warm summer afternoon on his couch in Venice Beach, Masekela was in a reflective mood. We were surrounded by boxes that he hadn’t unpacked since he moved to the house 12 months ago. The front door was open, and sunlight streamed in.

He told me about his split with ESPN, back in late 2012, saying that the network had wanted to renegotiate his contract. He said that a big reason he left was a feeling that ESPN had begun to devalue action sports in general. For Masekela, this was unacceptable; they were his life. A few weeks after quitting, he cut off his dreads.

“I was kind of wrestling for identity,” he said. “I cried while doing it. There were people who told me, ‘You just lit your career on fire.’ And I’d be like, ‘If you know me and consider me a friend, and you’re telling me that my hair is my calling card, then you’re telling me that you don’t hear what it is that I have to say.’ ”

Masekela near his home in Venice, California (Nikko LaMere)

As a host and announcer, one of the greatest strengths Masekela brought to action-sports events was his credibility. “We had a lot of these bro-type announcers who didn’t really capture what was going on,” says snowboarder Shaun White. “Sal knew us personally, so he could kind of talk about how a guy has been wanting to do this trick for so long and what it would mean if he did it during this run.”

Today, though, being respected by core board-sports athletes doesn’t do much for a guy’s résumé. Masekela is eager to begin a new chapter but admits he doesn’t know what that will look like yet. Which is why he’s trying a little bit of everything. He’s starting a podcast, tentatively called What Shapes Us, for which he’ll interview the deep well of exceptional friends he’s made over the years, and possibly broadcast conversations with his father posthumously. He’s touring with his band, he’s hosting more traditional adventure and travel stories for National Geographic, and he’s trying to do more acting. He says he’d like to host another TV show, but only if it feels right.

One impediment to Masekela’s career reboot is the fact that he’s not the most organized person. He doesn’t like budgets or spreadsheets. He has a tendency to lose things, forget stuff, and miss flights.

Case in point: he arrives on Tavarua a day later than planned, after a fundraising event for his charity, Stoked Mentoring, ran long and he didn’t catch his plane to Fiji. But after he finishes unpacking, he hops on the evening boat to Cloudbreak, an infamous wave that detonates two miles from the island on a barrier reef. Just about anywhere else, you’d call the conditions good to great, but by Cloudbreak standards things are looking somewhat pedestrian. The wind isn’t quite right, the lulls between sets are long, and the wave isn’t barreling like it should.

Then, just before dusk, the wind dies a bit, and the reef starts to grab the swell. All of a sudden, Masekela is on an absolute gem—green and gold, backlit by low-angle tropical sun. Miraculously, the inside section gets hollow, and he tucks into the barrel. You can hear him whooping with joy. Finally, just before the wave ends, he kicks out the back. He’s probably 100 yards or more down the reef, but he reels in his board and heads straight for the lineup.

The sun is setting, but Sal Masekela is paddling back out.

David Shultz (@dshultz14) is a freelance writer in Santa Barbara, California. This is his first feature for Outside.

Source

https://www.outsideonline.com/2380521/unlikely-preacher-action-sports-sal-masekela

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nirah10 · 6 years

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From Zain,

‘The whole family is really hung up on the idea of people “just wanting to be special” and it drives me nuts.&

Could that because they themselves think they are special? Are they religious? These siblings who say stuff like that? I know you are an atheist but I don’t think you mentioned if your siblings were or not. Sorry, I’m fairly new here so you might have in the past.

Just the phrase: 'The whole family is really hung up on the idea of people “just wanting to be special” and it drives me nuts.’

As I come from Islamic family who moved to the united states before I was born.

My family is pretty religious. And I have a HUGE family. Aunts, Uncles, cousins and ten siblings and the whole entire extended family have all ended in America as they followed each other here early thirty years ago, before I was born.

Growing up in a pretty white, pretty non religious place, a lot of my siblings bece very proud of us being Muslim.

My sisters wore the hijabs and seperated themselves from the other women where we are living through their clothing. And the frequent praying and strict dietary requirement add to that kind of atmosphere of seperation from the masses.

Being religious seems to mean you think you are speical.

That you have a special relationship with God/Allah that only a few in your community get to have.

It is a feeling of us vs them. Us against the world.

I have a feeling Christians aren’t that different to Muslims like that.

My family thought I was 'juat trying to be different’ when they found out I was gay.

I didn’t tell them. Fuck that.

I was out at the mall with my boyfriend, a town over from home as I didn’t feel comfortable shopping with my boyfriend in my home town in case my family saw.

A cousin saw us holding hands. I didn’t see him. He followed us, taking a bunch of photos on his phone including a damning one of my boyfriend kissing me as I leaned into a wall.

I got home and fifteen of my family members were waiting in the lounge.

With those fucking photos. I still feel anxious just thinking about it. I can feel my heart racing even writing this.

My father was ranting and raving, and slapped me accross the face. Then two of my uncles held me down and whipped me with a belt until I was bleeding. I feel have the scars. I hate the scars so, so much. I feel so J when I see them in the mirror.

I was then locked in a bedroom and told I could not come out until I agreed to an arranged marriage with a family friend.

I was in that bedroom for three days, pissing in a bottle before I realised they weren’t going to let me out until I agreed to marry that girl.

The bedroom was on the second floor and deadbolted shut. I smashed the window open in the middle of the night, jumped off the roof and fucking RAN.

I broke my foot when I jumped but I didn’t even notice until later. My boyfriend thinks it must have been the adrenaline.

But anyway, made it to the place my boyfriend was renting (he was from our of town but we had met when he came to town for a short term job contract.)

I still remember how horrified he was when I turned up looking half dead on his door in the middle of the night after moving contact for nearly three days. Surprise. Not a great start to a new relationship really.

He wanted me to press charges, I refused as I did not want to see my family again. He left his job seven weeks early, forfeited a month’s rent and he called his mom that night and had her buy us airline tickets to fly to her state a day afterwards. I was a absolute mess.

To the extent I refused to let my boyfriend take me to the hospital as I was terrifed of my family looking for me in the hospitals.

I wore a long sleeve top on the plane, despite it being summer to cover up the cuts from the glass and walked on my broken foot. Making it worse. Some people say it is impossible to walk on a broken foot. Bullshit. Not if your as terrifed as I was.

I went to the hospital when we were safe in my boyfriend’s state.

I transferred colleges to go to one near where my boyfriend’s mom was living and we both ended up living with her for four years until we got a place of our own.

I love her. She is a mother to me.

Lucky for me my family knew nothing about my boyfriend, so have no idea what state he is in.

I’ve never tried to get in contact with them. I’m not a missing person as I told my college I was transferring but made it very clear I did not want my family knowing where I was going.

I kind of regret now not listening to my boyfriend and refusing to press charges. But I was a scared 18 year old kid. Now as a 26 year old I feel more confident. But then I really don’t want to open that can of worms again. As long as I never have to see them again I’ll be happy.

We are now engaged and thinking of co-parenting in the future with a lesbain couple who are very good friends of ours, we bonded as one of them went through something similar- one of the girls was locked into a room by her Christian parents when she came out at 21 and then shoved a male family friend from the church into the bedroom to “fix her”. Yep, her Christian parents had her raped. Unlike me my friend was brave and after she pretended to be 'converted’ she went straight to the police station and pressed charges. She hasn’t seen her family since the trial. We met in a support group for victims of family abuse. Our partners have become close friends too and we are excited about the four of us starting a family some day.

I’m happy but I am still affected my what happened and i sometimes hate myself for being weak. I’m paranoid and have even refused to go on Facebook and don’t let friends post photos of me online, as I am terrified of a mutual friend somehow passing a photo onto my family and finding me. I know it is a very slim possibly but I also thought getting seen with my boyfriend at the mall all those years ago was a silm possibility as well.

But I’ll never forget my family thinking I was gay because I was trying to spite them or be different for them. religious people desire so much to see themselves as special the ready to accuse other people very easily of 'trying’ to be 'special’ or 'different’.

So yeah. I am an atheist from a religious family, and from your comment I’m guessing your family might be religious as well? And from the sounds of it you have had it really tough because of your sexuality with your family as well. I know it is hard and I am sorry you have to deal with that.

Sometimes I even come across as a bit intolerant towards religion as I kind of shut down when people talk about it. My mind just goes blank and I panic. My friend from the Christian family feels the same.

So I am sorry for what you have gone through and being suicidal. I am sending you virtual hugs, as I know how lonely that can be and it does stay with you.

Dear Zain,

Wow! I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that and thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m very happy that you got out of that situation and that it sounds like you’re quite happy now. Regarding the scars, I read a little while ago that there are specialized tattoo artists who cover up scars and stretch marks in a way that just looks like your natural skin (rather than covering it up with an image) and the results looked quite impressive. If your scars bother you so much, perhaps that would be an option for you to look at?

My family are pretty well all Jehovah’s Witnesses--cousins, uncles/aunts, grandparents. My biological father was a very abusive man (who was removed from my life when I was 14) but the rest of my family aren’t abusive. They’re just really stuck in a certain way of thinking and can be unkind when faced with anything different. They’ve learned and grown a lot over the years but they could be quite horrible when I was younger. I started dating my current boyfriend when I was 17 and they were really awful to him because he’s an atheist (so they naturally blamed him for “corrupting” me once I became more outspoken about my own lack of belief) and they tried pretty hard to break us up. My mum even kicked me out because she said I was a bad influence on my younger sister (I had only had a few months of school left before my graduation and she at least told me I didn’t have to leave until I finished). I moved out and refused to tell her where I went because I was so angry about it and I didn’t really talk to the people in my family much for the next year or two. I think they eventually realized that we weren’t going to break up and they started being a little nicer so (ten years later) I now have good relationships with all of them, but the damage was already done for my boyfriend and he still feels really on edge around them. I also have a rather large family by the way. I have eight siblings, though almost all of my extended family live in either Alberta or England so we don’t see them much.

I have PTSD and religious talk is one of my main triggers. I can discuss religion just fine and learn about it, but I can have quite severe reactions when I hear people talking about it as though they actually believe it. Any kind of sermon or people talking about trusting Jesus or God’s law, etc. will get my heart rate going and I’ll start to panic. I just have way too many horrible associations with it, especially because my biological father would use scriptures to justify beating us (there’s a scripture about how parents should stone their disobedient sons--that was his favourite because he could tell us we were lucky we were even allowed to live).

I think the weird obsession with “trying to be special” with my family is more to do with our upbringing than it is with their religion really. Although, now that you’ve mentioned that, I realize that JW culture is very big on how different they are from other Christians. I think it was a combination of there being too many children, everybody being freaking miserable, and my mother not believing that mental health issues were a real thing. There simply wasn’t time to see to the individual needs of nine different kids, especially since my father had absolutely no part in parenting, so my one of my mum’s favourite mottos was “if I can’t see blood or bone, I don’t want to hear about it”. We could actually get in trouble for crying if she couldn’t see a physical injury on us. She was one of those people (who thankfully has since learned how wrong it was) that used to regularly say stuff like depression wasn’t real and people who committed suicide were the most selfish people in the world. Pretty much any kind of mental health problem was just someone trying to get attention, like a kid throwing a temper tantrum to get what they want, and should be ignored or told off. It created a really horrible culture in our family where anybody doing or saying anything that was at all outside of the usual was just “trying to be special” and it was met with severe criticism and scorn. My mum saw cut marks on me once when I was 13 or so and her response was to tell me “if you’re gonna start up with that kind of nonsense, I’ll send you to the loonie bin” in a very threatening manner. She never asked why I was doing it or checked to see if I was still doing it. I just learned to use different methods that looked less obvious and continued with habits of self-harm for another five years or so.

I excuse a lot of my family’s behaviour (as well as some of my own at the time) as the lashing out of miserable people who saw no way out of their situation. None of us knew how to love each other properly or to show each other support because we had literally never experienced it before. My mum got married when she was 17 and was very quickly moved to Canada where she had no family or support system and I think she just accepted that adult life was supposed to suck as much as it did. Once my father was out of the picture, there were several turbulent years as we all learned how to act like normal people and how to treat each other the way that family should. I’m very grateful for the change that has happened, even if some people still have a ways to go.

Thanks again for sharing your story and I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing well now. Sending you virtual hugs back :)

#hello friend #this time it's personal #submission

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