#also my punctuation is ass I am sorry

[pitske]

So Mangle's my favorite FNaF animatronic/ character (withered Bonnie being second)

while a big part of that is just that I adore their design and how messed up they look, for mangle specifically it's the backstory that makes me love them even more.

Now, I am NOT as familiar with the actual FNaF lore as I used to be when I was 11, but Mangle got "destroyed" by kids which is, you know, pretty sad. Back when I was 11 the most popular way this was talked /theorized about is that some demon kids just straight up decided to do this to mangle just because they could.

And that is cool and all

but personally, I am much more fond of the idea of this being a type of “love changes” situation. You all know that set of pictures with the stuffed bunny, right?

Basically that. The kids, that came to Mangle's cove, just had some fun trying to play with mangle and, of course, the kids will play intensely with toys, they like a lot.

So when mangle just kept getting more and more disheveled and broken, the kids no longer saw the appeal and/ or were scared because she looked so different.

The idea here being

the tragedy of Mangle being changed against her will and forgotten about or being left behind is all good, but the idea of Mangle loving the kids just as much and also having fun ,but being changed anyway and THEN discarded is actually my favorite thing ever, and I need to draw that.

Just imagine you bond with these kids, and you're okay with them drawing on you or literally removing your limbs and just one day they don't show up anymore, and it isn't your fault at all but THEIRS and you can do absolutely nothing about it, and you just have to sit and think about this every single day while you're all alone in the backroom of the pizzeria.  (okay, lots of "and"s here) Imagine seeing one of the kids that used to play with you look at you nervously and be scared when you wave to them and back away or hide behind their parents- I am crying OMG Mangle must've been so devastated YOU SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM, THOUGH, RIGHT?! JUST OMG THE LOVE CHANGES PEOPLE THING BEING AN ACTUAL PHYSICAL EFFECT YOU CAN SEE AND THAT EFFECT LEADING TO PEOPLE LEAVING YOU I JUST- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (additionally, I don't think Mangle ever started hating the kids for doing this. I think she was just very sad that they no longer wanted to play with her at all, no visitors etc.) The best possible outcome for this post is somebody informs me this is actually cannon and I just straight up did not know /hj

[oshygoshy]

1:38 am

word count - 524 words

warnings - slightly suggestive

a/n - wow 2 whole writings?? yeah ik im spoiling my 23 followers...get ready for 4 months of radio silence from me after this though

"how would you describe me to the police if i went missing?" 

"...i'm sorry?"

miya atsumu, professional volleyball player (and who should be asleep by now...!) rolls over, unceremoniously plopping his elbow next to your nose. his shifting weight caused the bed to dip, and you felt your body tipping towards his (because of physics, not for any other reason...!!).

he squinted at you in the dark. "ya heard what i said."

"yeah, and it was stupid. and i'm tired. so please repeat it?" you say, holding back a yawn. "don't you have practice in like...4 and a half hours anyway-"

"hush, baby." (you'd be lying if you didn't get tingles from the pet name.) "jus' answer me?"

you rested your temple on his bicep, curling your body against his (again, physics), and hummed absentmindedly. what a strange question. 

"uhh...suspect has an ath-"

"suspect?? not victim???" he whispered furiously. in the dim moonlight, you could see his eyebrows furrow in mock anger. "whaddya mean suspect??" 

you smirked at his indignation. placing your pointer finger gently over his lips, you gently shushed him. "hush, baby," you mirror him. you could feel his lips twitch down in a frown. 

"ok let me start again. the suspect has an athletic build, is tall, and..." your eyes flit downward (respectfully, to answer his question. nothing more.) "'s pretty muscular."

"pretty mus-excuse me?? i'm very muscular-"

this time, you silence him with a kiss (to shut him up, not for any other reason!!) which works very effectively. he immediately stops talking and places his free hand on your waist. 

"yeah, petty muscular. strong abs-" you punctuate this statement by taking a hand and gently tracing his stomach under his shirt. you could hear his breath stutter, but pretend you don't notice. "great ass," you say with a cheeky giggle as your hand wanders, and he lets out a snort. "and a waist that would make any girl jealous. oh, and the best part?" you move your hand downward. his eyebrows raise but fall back when your hand stops at his thigh. "really nice thighs. like, really nice. they're really juicy, trust me, officer. you'd recognize them from an ocean away." 

your hand pats his thigh politely before you move it back up. 

"got me excited for a sec. yer hand was awfully close to something else for a bit," he mumbled into your hair. 

"whoops," you say, not very apologetic. 

"i don't like it when ya tease me," he continued. 

you push yourself back against his chest, looking at him with a raised brow. "oh, we both know that's a lie." 

he blushed, which you also pretended to not notice. "i don't like it when you tease me and do nothing about it. correction."

you sigh, setting yourself against his body. "well, i'm sleepy and you need to get up early. but.."

"...but?"

"i'm free this weekend," you say nonchalantly. 

he kissed the top of your head, grinning. "deal."

...

"so, who do you think is more muscular than me?"

"tsumu, please."

"it's bokkun, isn't it? it's ok, that's valid. he's really beefy."

"atsumu."

"okay, okay. sorry, sweets. goodnight."

[lees-chaotic-brain]

JJK Men Getting Jealous (Part 2)

Feat. Inumaki and Yuji

CW: random guys being creeps, insults, sexual innuendos, swearing

Note: Sorry, Yuji's is a tad bit shorter

Part One | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

Inumaki Toge

The two of you had just finished a mission and were headed to a convenience store to get some cough medicine for him.

"Hey, are you okay?"

You ask your boyfriend, who is clinging to your waist with his head on your shoulder.

"Shake."

He rasped, nuzzling into your shoulder as you walked.

"Takana?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little bruised."

"Hmmph."

He released a little disgruntled noise into your neck.

"Stop! That tickles!"

Tilting his head to look up at you mischievously, Inumaki blew a loud raspberry against your skin.

You squealed and tore yourself out of his grasp, sprinting into the convenience store.

"Come on! Let's just get your cough medicine!"

He pouted and made grabby hands at you.

Sighing in defeat, you walk back to him, and hold his hand.

He happily squeezes your hand, and pulls you into the store.

Once inside, the two of you get a couple bottles of cough medicine, and are picking out snacks for later when a guy sidles up to the two of you.

"Hey baby girl."

He winked at you, ignoring Inumaki at your side.

"Wanna hear a riddle?"

"No thank you,"

You replied firmly as you tried to scooch backwards and out the aisle before your boyfriend caused a scene."

"Oh come on, it'll be quick."

The random guy cajoled as he stepped closer to you.

"Fine. Just tell me so I can leave with my boyfriend."

You replied, already tired of dealing with this stranger.

"What can't you spell happiness without?"

"What?"

"Penis!"

He leaned forwards, closer to your face.

"Want some of mine?"

Smack.

You slapped him across the face, and held Inumaki back as he lunged at the creep. As much as you would love to see your boyfriend beat that guys ass into the ground, he wasn't worth it.

"Excuse me. I am here with my boyfriend, so I would appreciate it if you would fuck off.

You punctuated your statement with a scary sweet smile.

"Shake!"

Inumaki seconded from his place at your side, shooting daggers with his eyes.

"Pfft. Whatever. If you wanna hang with a loser like him, go ahead. But, if you ever want to find a real man-"

"Shut your fucking mouth."

You seethed, stepping towards him.

"Toge is perfect just the way he is, and I love him in a way that you are never going to experience."

Spinning on your heel, you grabbed Inumaki's hand, stomped to the register, threw down a handful of bills, and stormed out of the store.

The walk home was quiet and peaceful, and you and your boyfriend enjoyed each others company.

Later that night while you were cuddling and on your phones, you got a text from Toge.

Are you sure you're okay with dating a guy like me? I can't even tell you I love you out loud. I wish I was like that guy. I wish I could tell you everything I want to. I would understand if you left me for someone like him.

Twisting around, you stared in shock at your boyfriend.

"What are you talking about?!"

"Tuna."

He said, pointing to his text. Look.

"I did!"

You said, cupping his face in your hands.

"Listen up. I love you just the way you are. If you were anything like that guy, I never would have dated you. Toge, I'm so in love with you that when I imagine my future, all I see is you. So don't doubt me, don't doubt us, 'kay?"

"Shake."

He grinned, and snuggled happily into your side.

A couple seconds later, your phone pinged twice. Picking it up you open the two texts from him.

Love you too babe.

Also, as much as he was a creep, he wasn't wrong ;)

You felt your face turn bright red. Looking down, you saw him waggling his eyebrows at you, clearly enjoying your reaction.

"TOGE!!!"

Itadori Yuji

You were laying on your stomach on your bed and watching a show when your boyfriend barged into your dorm.

"Babe."

"Babe."

"Baaaaabbeeeeee."

"Love of my life."

"PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!"

You finally removed your headphones, and gave your pouty boyfriend an unimpressed look.

"What is it?"

"I'm bored!"

"Go away. I'm busy."

Whining, he launched himself on top of you, and nuzzled his face into your shoulder blade.

"What are you even busy doing!? What could be more important than loving me?!"

"Watching Yona of the Dawn."

"I haven't heard of that! Can I watch with you?"

"God he's so hot."

You mumbled under your breath, seeming to have not heard him.

"What? Who's hot? Is it me?"

"Hak. Oh my god. That man is SO fine. And the way he treats Yona, I think I'm gonna melt..."

"HAH?"

Yuji sprung up from his position on top of you and snatched your laptop.

"Hey!"

You protested, trying to take it back.

"NO!"

He exclaimed dramatically as he furiously waved your laptop.

"I WILL NOT LET YOU ADMIRE ANOTHER MAN IN MY PRESENCE!! THE DISRESPECT!"

"Yuji, I love you, but if you do not let me continue to enjoy the face of Son Hak and his moments with Yona, you will be sleeping in your own dorm tonight."

You didn't really need it, but he was being such a drama queen you kinda wanted to see where this would go.

"NO! I'M SORRY BABY! I'M LEAVING!"

He rushed out, and you settled back into your bed and resumed your show.

Half an hour later, your boyfriend burst back into your room, sporting a dark blue wig, wearing a bathrobe, and swinging a- was that a scythe?! Where in the world did he get a scythe?!

"I AM THE THUNDER BEAST! SON HAK! GENERAL OF THE WIND TRIBE!"

"Babe...do I even want to ask...what are you doing?"

"Getting your attention!"

He chirped as he beamed at you.

"Is it working?"

Your heart melted. As annoying as he could be, he was just so adorable, staring at you with those pleading puppy eyes.

"Yes. Come here baby."

You patted the bed next to you, and he flung himself onto it.

"I was so jealous!!"

He whined, burying his head in your neck as his hands gripped your ass.

You laugh and wrap your arms around him.

"Don't worry babe. Even if I would leave you for him, he's fictional."

"WHAT?!"

That's all! Lmk if you guys have any requests!

Taglist: @sad-darksoul

[horseimagebarn]

Ok so thanks for the answer vis a vis the centaur situation I appreciate it a lot and I'm not trying to convince you to change your ruling but unfortunately you used the word taxonomy which triggered one of my damn neurodivergences. I hope you don't mind but my response will be to deposite these few paragraphs in your inbox I'm sorry in advance if this comes off as aggressive or condescending or just plain annoying I'm just sensing an opportunity to infodump to someone who might be interested in tbe topic so I'm seizing it I'm sure you know what it's like

Anyway there's a disconnect between pragmatism and scientific rigor that people are blind to which vexes me and biological taxonomy is a particular pet peeve of mine the biggest instance of it is crocodiles and alligators which are really the same damn animal for all intents and purposes but that's not relevant

Naturally when one thinks of horses one thinks of domestic horses specifically (Equus ferus cabellus) but I'd argue that certain pictures of donkeys (Equus africanus) look more like domestic horse pictures than certain pictures of Przewalski's horse (Equus ferus przewlaskii) despite the latter being classified as the same species and the former not

And I feel that for a horse image barn the resemblence of a picture to an archetypical horse image should be a higher priority criterion for inclusion than some criteria that biological taxonomy relies on like the presence of specific haplotypes which isn't even a word anyone knows and if you go to its Wikipedia article you get a definition of it that's not really relevant to this ask

So yeah in conclusion I wouldn't tie the in/ex-clusion of images to scientific taxonomy but to Vibes if I were the admin of this or a similar blog but I'm not and you are so you can like do whatever

Also I won't be submitting the centaur image I wanted to submit but can I still send it as an ask I like showing it to people spreading it around etc it's kind of cursed but also funny and I like it a lot and I understand why it's not horse enough to your taste but it's definitely horse adjacent and I want to share it

as a fellow animal wikipedia delver i agree that taxonomy is not the end all be all of the human perception of animals however what i meant to imply is that the differences between centaurs and horses are large enough to be considered taxonomical and are not debatable even in a taxonomical sense due to their many massive differences also i have posted przewalskis horses before as they are true horses and this is horseimagebarn not assimagebarn or centaurimagebarn even though i love donkeys just as much and would own a donkey over a horse any day

i did just take my adderall and am bored at work so i have to humbly yet lengthily disagree with you that taxonomy is not important in both cases presented while the crocodilian assumption you make has bruised my heart as i love alligators and i find them far cuter than crocodiles due to the differences in their jaw structure that makes their bottom teeth fit into their mouth instead of jutting out like crocodiles (which is one of the many actual and notable physical differences between them alongside choice of salt or fresh water etc) i wont get into that and will focus on horses since thats the point of this blog using actual punctuation and capitalization for the first time in this blogs history ill be referring to przewalskis horse as takhi as it is also known so i dont make a typo which i know i will

long ass (donkey pun) post warning

Taxonomy can of course be vague at times or muddied, but it is not an invalid study. All human knowledge is constantly evolving, and mistakes are inevitably going to be made, but that does not make our efforts invalid. It is beneficial for us to know how evolution works. Taxonomical differences are real and worth considering, even if mistakes are made sometimes. Two animals looking similar is not a valid reason to ignore their taxonomical differences, nor is it okay to ignore similarities because they look different—if we went by that logic, every dog breed would be a totally different species.

Speaking of, here's a little more on the whole appearance thing before we get into the science:

The other day, I was watching a video about the actual horses that existed in antiquity, and they are far more similar to takhi than you might think. I'll link the video if I can find it, apologies for a lack of a source on this right now, but the gist of it was that horses of yore were much shorter and stouter than modern horses. The tall, thin horse often seen in modern depictions of ancient time is inaccurate, as is the thick, muscular draft, which didn't become common until later on. Back then, people wanted horses that were sturdy—most people didn't care as much about specific breeds or having the hugest and prettiest horse on the block, especially when food to maintain larger animals like modern horses wasn't always guaranteed, and having such a huge animal could be dangerous and more difficult. Their horses were more similar to ponies than our big guys now, and ponies aren't a separate species. The selective breeding of horses to become taller and leaner made them appear way different from the takhi, but just like dogs, they remain extremely similar to those of their taxa despite looking different on the surface. For example, take a look at the ancient fjord horse breed next to the takhi...in fact, sometimes takhis are called Mongolian ponies! We can even see this in ancient art earlier in the horse's domestication:

Anyway, science:

Firstly, the takhi isn't wholly classified as the same exact species as the true horse, our domesticated Equus ferus caballus. Both Equus ferus callabus and Equus ferus przewalskii are considered subspecies of caballines, or true horses, meaning they're more like cousins (I know it's a cliche to say this, but I mean it), with donkeys and zebras as, like, their nephews twice removed. If the takhi was considered the exact same species as the domestic horse with no acknowledged differences, it would be considered a breed of horse, not a subspecies (though breeds are typically manmade, they are not always—see the word "typical" in the dictionary definition). This means that it does have recognized, distinct differences from the standard domesticated horse that have been taken into consideration in their taxonomy—it is not like the two are blindly considered the same exact thing.

Mistakes have been made in Equus taxonomy in the past, but continued research has led to a retaxing of the genus as early as the 1980s. In the 2012 review article "Discordances between morphological systematics and molecular taxonomy in the stem line of equids: A review of the case of taxonomy of genus Equus," by E. Kefena et al., a number of scholars reviewed the methods with which the Equus genus has been taxed in the past and how they have changed in the past few decades.

According to that article, equines are an incredibly plastic genus. They are very good at adapting to their environments, which led past taxonomists to overcount the amount of Equus species that existed in the past and therefore miscategorize the history of the genus in general. Many were actually just adapted versions of the same thing. This is what we see in the horse and takhi—they are similar but have adapted to their different environments and niches.

In 1986, two molecular scientists, George and Ryder, performed the first DNA-based molecular taxonomy on all living equus species, publishing their findings in the article "Mitochondrial DNA evolution in the genus Equus." By mapping equus DNA and constructing a phylogenetic tree, they were able to take a closer look at the actual genetic disparities between equus species.

George and Ryder found that "[In the mtDNA (mitochondrial DNA) cleavage map,] the percent sequence difference between E. przewalskii and E. caballus individuals was found to range between 0.27% and 0.41%. ... Overall, the amount of divergence presented here is small and not much greater than the 0.36% divergence reported for mtDNA differences found among the human racial groups (Brown 1980; Cann et al. 1984)."

So, horses and takhis are incredibly similar. Using these findings, they separated equus species into three clades: "One that groups the zebras, a second that groups E. africanus [African wild ass] and E. hemionus [Asiatic wild ass, aka the hemione], and a third that associates the true [caballine] horses E. przewalskii and E. caballus as a unit. However, as stated previously, the E. africanus-E. hemionus clade remains enigmatic."

They later state that "E. hemionus and E. africanus appeared more karyotypically [chromosomally] similar to each other than to other equids," hence why they were considered a clade despite being "enigmatic." Kefena et al. explain this weird enigma further, and, notably, compare it to the takhi: "Next to Przewalskii's horses, hemiones were the first species to be diverged from the stem line of extant equids, suggesting that they might be closely related to caballine horses than to asses, though they are monophyletic with donkeys than with horses. On the basis of these evidences, morphological resemblance between species doesn't guarantee genetic similarity between equid species." This means that asses and horses have distinct genetic differences that far outweigh those between takhi and domestic horses, despite the fact that donkeys and takhi look more similar. The hemione looks very similar to the African wild ass, and it is closer to it genetically, but it is not the same due to the way it evolved—it broke away from the general line earlier than any other ass. The takhi is the same; it diverted earlier than other horses, but remains very genetically similar—more than any other extant Equus species. And, even with the takhi's extra chromosomal pair, George and Ryder also found that they and horses were also very close karotypically, giving them incredible similarities both mtDNA-wise and chromosome-wise. Despite that different chromosome, horses and takhis can successfully interbreed and produce fertile offspring, unlike horses and donkeys.

Kefena et al. "MYBP" stands for "Millions of Years Before Present" Funnily enough, G&R also say, "There has been little to no dispute over the close relationship that exists between E. przewalskii and E. caballus; thus the addition of E. caballus to the E. przewalskii branch should be easily accepted." Which is so weirdly on the nose that I feel compelled to say that it's on page 544 so no one thinks I'm making it up. So, with their genetic similarities, their actually surprisingly similar appearances, and their sequential DNA similarities, the Przewalski's horse and the domesticated horse do belong in the same category when compared to other equines like donkeys and zebras. They're not identical, but they're in the same room of the larger equine house. And, check out the tarpan, Equus ferus ferus, another subspecies of Equus ferus and the most recently extinct of them all, alongside the current Equus ferus species (and a concept of the original Equus ferus pre-domestication by Cameron Clow on Artstation)! They're all friends:

Conclusion

you can send me centaurs if you want i just wont post them

[queerheadcanoncentral]

ok hear me out. james wilson dating a transgender man for the first time and he kinda doesn’t know what to do to please someone who is ftm so he just lets them take the lead. he’s not super educated on this kind of thing but he’s super ready to learn etc. basically he’s just really pathetic and desperate to make his partner feel good. also he gets off on being called a good boy. i rest my case.

Combining this ask with a different ask i got:

"wilson smut hcs with a top reader? I'm transmasc as well so it would be great if it could be read as a strap-on and not necessarily a flesh and blood penjs"

Tags: smut, just pure smut, strap on, top trans masc reader, oral (reader recieving), bottom james wilson, no use of y/n.

Minors and fems not welcome.

—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—

You were the first guy that Wilson realised he had feelings for and when you guys started dating he was awkward about all of his firsts with you, first date, first kiss.

So when one evening the two of you were making out and you slipped a hand down to his crotch and palmed him through his jeans, he froze.

“oh! I'm sorry, we don't have go any further if you're not comf-” you were worried that you'd done something wrong but he was quick to reassure you. “no, no! I want to, trust me, I really want to but- It's just that, I've never done this with a guy before and I don't know how to make you feel good.”

You were very horny and you could tell that he was too, his chest rose and fell heavily, his lips were swollen and their redness matched his cheeks, you just wanted to keep going. You leaned into him, your hand sliding from his waist to his lower hip, your fingers on the side of his ass. “I can show you” you said with a comforting yet seductive smile. That just made Wilson's blood shot right down to his cock, and he swallowed thickly “yes, yes please”.

Within a second that the words left his mouth your lips were on his. It was rougher than any kiss the two of you have shared before, more full of passion and teeth. James hands went to tangle up in your hair and one of yours went to his ass while the other to support his back as you slowly lowered him to your bed. You sloted a knee between his legs, keeping him in place and started kissing his jawline, then his neck leaving wet kisses and red bite marks to which he responded with soft whimpers and moaned at the harsher bites. You reached his sweater collar and pushed up at the lower hem signaling him to take it of. He did as he was ordered and you continued to shower him with pleasure as you went lower and lower.

Once you were satisfied, with the amount of hickeys that now littered his entire upper body (and with how hard his dick grew), you pulled back and with a stern voice you ordered “get on your knees”.

He immediately scrambled to the ground next to the bed and infront of you. “Take them off” you said as you began to pull out the end of your belt from the belt loops. He took over and undid your belt, then zipper and pulled off your jeans and underwear together in an effort to save some time.

“oh.” he said, a bit surprised. “Don't tell me you didn't know I was trans” you responded, probably equally as surprised as him. “How was I supposed know? You never told me.” “Yeah, but when I talk about my childhood I said how people referred to me as a girl, and I keep my testosterone in the fridge and my needles in the bathroom… wait did you think that I'm some sort of a junkie or a doser?” “I didn't really think, I assumed that you were just a regular guy with a testosterone deficiency.” “Kind of am. Can definitely fuck your brains out like one.”

While saying the last sentence you ran your hand through his hair and punctuated it by pulling down on it, which tillted his chin up slightly and his lips parted with an involuntary moan. That send tingles down Wilsons spine and another wave of blood down to his cock. You nudged his head towards your core a bit “How do I-” “Just lick and suck”. Still unsure of what to do he licked his lips and put them on the tip of your t-dick, and you gave him an encouraging low hum “Mm, good boy. That's it”. That took some of the pressure off and, now more confidently, he went lower and started licking at your entrance. At first shallow but when you moaned he started thrusting his tounge deeper and deeper. After a few minutes you were both a mess, you with your mouth hanging open moaning and whimpering constantly, with one hand gripping James's hair, the other gripping the sheets beneath you; him with your juices all over the bottom half of his face. Feeling that you were close you pulled him off of you and marvelled at the sight beneath you. He looked beautiful like that, out of breath, his lips red and puffy and the lust behind his eyes. You could look at him like that for hours but, you see him shifting around trying to get his cock some friction.

“Take your clothes off. Get on the bed, face up”. He did as he was told and in the meantime you took off your shirt and reached into the drawer of your nightstand. He was to busy getting into his position that didn't see what you pulled out and only looked back at you when he heard a click and he saw you standing there with a 7 inch strap on. His head was spinning with anticipation and he thought to himself “this is what heaven must look like. The hottest man he's ever seen about to fuck him senseless”.

“Good boy. So obedient and ready to please” you praised him while getting on the bed and inseting yourself between his legs. Once you got in the position you uncapped the bottle of lube in your hand and poured some on your hand. First you lathered yourself up, then you slicked James's hole up. You pressed in one finger to see how stretched he is and you were quite surprised to find that he was already pretty loose. You figured that he must've played with himself before coming over to your place. You took out the finger and line the head of the dildo with his hole. You place one hand on his hip and rub small circles into it “just relax, take a deep breath” you reassure him.

As he does so and exhales you push yourself pass the ring of muscles. You can feel that he's tight by the resistance but you continue to ease into him. You stop once you're all the way in and wait for James to adapt to the size. He can feel the slight burn and it feels so good. His eyes roll to the back of his head, his mouth falls open and a low almost gutteral moan escapes from deep within him.

Once you feel him adjust you start moving again. First you go slow, just enjoying the way your boyfriend moans and the way the built in grinder brushes against your clit. After a few minutes Wilson starts to rock his hips into you “faster please”, he whimpers. “Whatever you need baby” you anwser doing as he says. You start of just a bit faster but, soon it isn't enough and you are pounding into him relentlessly. His mouth is permanently open now and the air is filled with strings of his curses and moans and your name along with wet slapping sounds and your own moans and grunts and praises flying his way, “such a good boy. You're being so good for me. That's it, you take me so well”. You're groping his behind and planting wet kisses to his neck, his legs are locked around your hips, his heels digging into your ass and his nails into your back. You can feel yourself at the edge now and if the amount of pre that is coming out of his dick is anything to go by, so is he. “do you want to make me feel good? I bet you do” “yes, yes i do” “than come with me” with that you took him in your palm and stroked him fast and tight. He thought he died. His heart was beating so hard it was going to jump out of his chest, all of his muscles contracted and started to spasm, his eyelids shut close and his back arched. All he could feel was your dildo inside of him, your hand on his cock, his cum on his stomach and your mouth on his nipple. All he could hear was his ear shattering moan. All he could smell was both of your juices combined. All he could taste was you on his tongue. If liking all of that and loving you ment that he was doomed for eternal damnation, he will set fire to himself to experience this forever. You weren't far behind and with a couple of thrusts you came and you pushed yourself deeper then even Wilson has ever been.

It took you a while to come down from your high and when you came to you pulled yourself out of your boyfriend and slumped down on his chest. His hands absentmindedly wrapped around you and you hugged him back. It took another three minutes for James to say anything, and the first thing he said was “That was… yeah.” You laughed at that and nuzzled your face into his chest “Yeah, that was”. Your voice was rough just like his. With that you got up and walked away, you came back with two glasses of water, a damp wash cloth and without the strap on. You handed him a glass and set the other one down then got to cleaning both of you up. He sat up just enough to have a sip and set the glass down.

Once you finished you threw the wash cloth somewhere near the laundry basket, took a sip of water and slid both of you under the comforter. You were to tired to take a shower and James didn't seem to mind either. “That was amazing” he finally said. You chuckled and pulled him in closer, his head on your chest, you rubbed circles into his back and whispered praises and sweet nothings into his ear while pressing soft kisses to the top of his head as punctuation “You did so good. You were so good to me. That was amazing. I love you. I'm so lucky to have you.”

Maybe you were doing to much with these praises in this context but you didn't care much about that, you just cared that you made your boyfriend happy and that he fell asleep knowing that he is loved.

This is my first time writing smut so sorry if it's kind of bad.

[soup-is-nice-sometimes]

warning brendon mention + also excessive usage of brackets and like no punctuation/formatting except for paragraph breaks iM SORRY

sick and tired of ppl saying panic went to shit after ryan and jon left like yes it downgraded (compared to afycso my fave album from them) B U T ian (even tho he was only there for a few years) and dallon (who stayed on til 2017 oh how he put up with a lot of bs over the years) rlly kept it from tanking in those key years imo

like dallon is credited w writing most of v&v (with the exception of "nearly witches" - ryan wrote that) and all of twtltytd (is that even the album name idk i dont rlly listen to post ryan panic sorry not sorry) and he played bass not only for the end of pretty odd touring but also as part of the band til 2015 and then continued touring til 2017 (plus apparently brendon stopped him from releasing a song w 21 pilots which is actually why im writing this lmfao) like

dallons writing was on a similar level to ryans and it feels mean/unfair to reduce those albums that he did write to "shit" bc ryan wasnt there

and yes doab has a couple of bops (crazy = genius and also la devotee imo) but overall they dont cancel out what is mostly a shit album (ok yes dont threaten me w a good time is okay too but he did NOT make those high heels work good lord) esp cause there were literally none of the ogs except brendon on that)

and ofc pftw is ass if i ever hear high hopes or hey look ma i made it i actively try and leave wherever i am (they fucking played high hopes at a skate night i went to WHEN I WAS COSPLAYING RYAN ROSE VEST)

also side note fuck u brendon for continuing to play camisado after ryan left even tho it was like the one song he asked you to stop performing it cause it was rlly personal to him AND YOU DIDNT LISTEN (ofc all the songs were personal to him but camisado was one of the ones that he specifically drew on his experiences w/ his father to write)

also side note 2 imo panic died when spencer left (2013) but was temporarily revived til dallon left (2017) and brendons been dragging its corpse around for the last 6 years. and idc what anyone says the touring artists he played with do not count as panic cause no offence but like their title says theyre TOURING ARTISTS (like how dallon didnt consider himself a part of panic when he was touring w em til they asked him officially and then when he "stopped contributing creatively" - his words) like i rlly doubt ppl can name them off the top of their heads (altho theyre underappreciated for dealing w brendon)

if you've read this far PLEASE feel free to comment (? is taht what its called here) and/or reblog w ur additions/opinions im fairly open-minded abt others ideas!

[lexawoah13]

CHOISOME

So I’ve never written anything before… let alone SMUT! sooo don’t be too hard on me. 👉👈 I’ve just had MAJOR brainrot of this trio lately and this scenario plays in my head quite a bit.

Soobin x Yeonjun x Beomgyu x afab! Chubby reader(older)

Warning: threesome, drinking, oral sex(female recieving), cliche truth or dare, possessive Soobin, y/n Is older than them, this probs sucks so ✌️ also not really proofread

Summary: You’re drinking with Soobin, Beomgyu and Yeonjun after a tour stint has ended working with them. You are all relaxed in comfy clothes that are more on the revealing side as you were warm in your room, ready for bed when the trio bombarded you there. *You’re in tiny shorts that ride up and reveal your ass cheeks(no underwear) and a white crop top with no bra and some graphic on the front.*

——————————————————————————— After a knock on your door you walk over to open it revealing the three Choi men.

“We’re drinking!” Yeonjun states boldly while Beomgyu’s and Soobin’s jaws drop taking in the sight of you.

You pop your hip, cross your arms pushing up your tits and retort “Are we? Since when?”

That’s when Yeonjun finally sees you and swallows hard “Uh umm-“

“Since right now!” Gyu pipes in stepping forward to you “No way out of it now” as he walks past you and plops on your bed leaning back on his elbows and legs spread open

“What are we drinking then?” You make eye contact with Soobin who flushes hard

“Beer, soju, whatever you want…” he draws off lifting the bags in his hands

“Fun” you wink at him, side step and let the last 2 chois inside. Purposefully grazing your fingers against Soobin’s sending a chill down his spine.

“So what are we doing?” You walk towards Gyu and stand between his legs, lidded eyes and hands on his knees. He shoots up to be inches from your face “What do you mean?”

“I mean while drinking, what are we doing?”

“Talking? Chillin? Games I Donno?” He spits out rapidly

“What kind of games?” You say moving closer to his lips, smirking

“I-iI”

“How about truth or dare?” You ask pulling away and turning towards the other two behind you

“I mean sure,” Yeonjun says sitting in your desk chair

“Isn’t that always super sexual though?” Soobin asks sitting on the couch across from your bed

“It doesn’t have to be but yea, Usually…” you let off staring into him

“Okay let’s do it!” Beomgyu says jolting up

“Well, aren’t you eager?” You chuckle

“Who’s first?” Gyu asks

“How about Y/N? It was her idea” Yeonjun suggests

“Okay. Yeonjun, truth or dare?” You hold eye contact with the eldest Choi, smirking

“Truth” he licks his bottom lip

“Are you a tits, ass or thigh man?”

He chokes on his beer a little and widens his eyes at you “Uhh..”

“Come on now you picked truth, so reveal your truth. Tits. Ass. thighs?” You punctuate every body part

“I mean they’re all great a women’s body is-“

“Oh my fucking god I asked your preference not for a politically correct answer! I’m not interviewing you Choi I’m your friend. What make you go feral on a woman?” You snap at him

Not breaking eye contact with you he finally answers “ass. ”

“Thank you. Your turn”

“Beomgyu, truth or dare”

“Truth”

“Who’s the Last person you fantasized about?” He chuckles

“The fuck hyung? You know who ”

“Exactly now answer” he smirks

Gyu shifts uncomfortably with everyone’s eyes on him, especially you. He won’t look your way and you can’t help but wonder

“It was Y/N” he whisper so softly you can barely hear him

“It was who?”

“Y/N,” he says slightly louder

“I’m sorry I couldn’t he-“ Yeonjun teases when Gyu snaps “IT WAS Y/N! Happy now?” He looks at you ashamed and says “Sorry”

“Why? Don’t be sorry! I’m honoured if anything. It just means your attracted to me, right?”

The three males' eyes widen and stare at you in disbelief. Your eyes dart between the three of them raising an eyebrow and questioning “What? Am I wrong?”

“No just most girls would be offended or disgusted after hearing that” Beomgyu responds

“Yea but your noona isn’t some “girl”. I’m a woman, I get it…” you quip pushing your tongue against your teeth

“Okay then Y/N truth or dare?” Gyu taunts

You chuckle knowing exactly where this is going “Truth Beomie” and you smile

“Have you thought about any of us while..” he swallows hard realizing what he’s asking

“Go on”

“H-have you fantasized about any of us while you-yu-you know…”

“While masturbating?”

Beomgyu can only nod as he and the other chois blush at finding out the truth. If you were attracted to any of them

“Yea of course! Soobin tru-“

“Wait wait! Who? Who did you-“ Yeonjun interrupts

“That wasn’t the question, I answered if I’ve thought about any of you while I touch myself and the answer is yes. You didn’t ask who.. so Soobin, truth. Or dare?” You accentuate each word

“Uh truth I guess..” forcing himself to look into your eyes

“What was the last thing you fantasized about while getting off?” You ask twirling a stray piece of hair, not breaking eye contact with the Choi who stole your heart hoping it was you.

“Uhh. Wh- wa what do you mean?”

“The last time you jerked yourself off what were you thinking about?” You crawl closer to his side looking up at him through your eyelashes

“I-I I don’t, yy you don’t wanna hear that..”

“Oh Soobin, but I do. I really. Really do” You sit up straighter getting eye level with him and bite your lip

The other two men look at him shaking their heads ‘no’. The Choi’s all had a thing for you and would often share their sexual desires for you. Knowing Soobin’s they didn’t think you’d react well.

But in soobins mind, you just said you were flattered by Beomgyu fantasies about you, so maybe this was his chance to tell you what he longed for. The boy's pleas were a lost cause as he never looked away from you. Clearing his throat he turns to face you more quietly and says “I was thinking about you..”

“Oh? What about me?” You say as calmly as possible to control your voice

“How attractive you are. Your eyes, when you look into mine, your smile…”

“I doubt that’s all you thought about Soobin,” you say furrowing your brows

“No, but that’s how it started..” he looks at you gauging your reaction. You don’t waver so he continues after swallowing hard. You watch his Adam's Apple bob

“I grabbed you, kissing you pretty intensely.” His eyes drift off “I ripped your shirt open and kissed down your neck to your chest..” he looks back at you and you’re still looking at him. Except he just saw the tiniest wiggle of your thighs so he continues “I pulled your bra down and kissed and bit your breasts. Fuck you let your the cutest sounds in my mind. I pulled off my shirt and pants and yours. I nipped and kissed my way down to your waist and looked up for your consent.” He chuckles at his memory “You whined and pushed my head down into that pussy I’ve been craving since I met you.” He looks into your eyes seeing your chest heave and gains some confidence. He grabs your chin and moves to barely graze your lips “if you taste as good as you did on my tongue in my dreams. Fuck you’re like heaven” Your breath hitches and he pulls away smirking “I didn’t take long after that”

The three men can’t rip their gaze from you. Seeing you try to get friction between your thighs, breath hitching and flushed from your chest up to your cheeks.

Holy fuck you were into that. They could all see it. Maybe you could want one of them? But would it happen?

“W-wow” you clear your throat “that uh was quite the fantasy” You bite the inside of your cheek

“Yeah… I wonder how accurate it was?” Soobin says, head tilted to the side looking up through his brow. “So, Y/N.. truth or dare”

“Truth”

“Which of us have you thought of while touching yourself? And who was last?”

“Haaa knew that was coming..” you look around at the others “I’ve thought of each of you at one point or another. The last time though it was…” You look at Soobin, then down at your hands picking at your nails. This was nuts. How did you get here with these 3? The ones who occupy your mind all day and night? Especially the one sitting next to you asking this question.

“It was who?” You hear Gyu's question. Looking up to meet his eyes you smile. You look at Yeonjun over your shoulder and then back to Soobin, crawling toward him. You thought to yourself “fuck it. Let’s see where this goes” You pop yourself up to straddle his lap, arms crossed over his shoulders while you settle into his lap, his eye-widening in shock, feeling his rock-hard length eliciting a silent gasp from your throat.

“It was the 3 of you…” you feel Soobin stiffen and then look over your shoulder at the two behind you biting your lip.

“I’m going to ask you all now.

Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” they all say immediately

“Do you all want to fuck me? Make my fantasy a reality”

You nestle your fingers onto soobins cheek grazing it softly with your thumb. Getting closer to his lips. Hoping he’d mutter those 3 letters you were craving so badly.

In unison they all say “yes”. And you feel your core gush with excitement Yeonjun and Beomgyu rising to join you both on the couch.

Soobin moves in to grab your lips in his and you melt into him. Yeonjun joins in from behind kissing your neck and shoulders while Beomgyu drops to his knees and kisses up your leg

Your head drops back in pleasure from the three men kissing your body. Your lips detach from soobins only to be claimed by Yeonjun. Soobin takes over kissing your neck. Gyu works his way up, now kissing your ribs right below your shirt. Pulling away so he can see as he pushes up your shirt revealing your breast. Nipple perked and hard from your arousal. He dives in, kissing under your supple mound until he reaches the bud, licking and then sucking it into his mouth.

You gasp into Yeonjun a mouth making him pull away to see what brought such a pretty sound from you to see Beomgyu sucking and nipping at your tit. Yeonjun takes the hem of your shirt and lifts it off over your head breaking Soobin’s suction on your collarbone. Realizing your top half was now bare Soobin looks into your eyes massaging your free breast as he slowly moves to flick your hardened bud with his tongue. Enveloping the rest of your nipple in his mouth ripping a moan from your throat.

While Soobin and Beomgyu continue their assault on your chest, your head is resting on Yeonjun's shoulder while he takes in the sight groping your hips.

You turn into his neck, kissing and sucking to leave your mark. His grip tightens as he lets out a groan “Gahh Y/N”

“Juniee take it off.” You wanted more skin revealed that wasn’t just yours. You wanted to relish in their bodies as well. But being greedy and not wanting to stop the two attached to your tits you asked Yeonjun first.

While he takes it off soobins hand grazes down your stomach to the waistband of your shorts, lightly tickling his way across your soft belly. You look down to make eye contact with him, still sucking contently on your nipple, and bite your bottom lip.

“Bin please” you pant

He pops off of your nipple and nods. Slowly gliding his hand lower to touch your dripping cunt over your shorts, now soaked with your juices.

Beomgyu also releases your nipple to look down at the sight, seeing Soobin pull away with strands sticking to his fingers. “Excited are we princess?” Gyu teases climbing up to finally take your lips in his.

His kissing is more aggressive, his tongue overpowering yours and dominating you. Making you even wetter. He couldn’t get passed how sexy you were right now, splayed out for the 3 of them allowing them to do whatever they pleased.

“She’s awfully greedy? Don’t you think?” Yeonjun teased into your ear, grazing his teeth along the shell.

“I don’t give a fuck” Soobin harshly breathes out, sliding his fingers under your waistband “She can have everything she wants” sliding your shorts off revealing your bare throbbing cunt to him “Oh fuck bunny, your pussy is just as pretty as you”. Soobin leans in closer to your pussy, rubbing his long slender fingers on either side of your folds watching your sweet juices mix around them and drip off. “Need to taste you, fuckin’ want you” he whines, spreading you open, taking a long slow lick from hole to clit sending intense shivers up your spine. The moan that leaves his lips almost sends you to your ecstasy “Jesus Christ you taste incredible! So much better than I imagined” diving back into you lapping up everything you had like a man starved. Tongue fucking you when there’s nothing left.

Soobin pops up for air despite his wanting to live between your thighs, his grip pushing so hard into your plushy skin there would be marks later.

“Let me taste” Yeonjun licks his lips, leaning forward grabbing Soobin’s neck and crashing their lips together right in front of your eyes. The sight makes you gush and moan, pulling Beomgyu away from your lips to chuckle.

“My turn hyung” pulling Yeonjun off of Soobin only to replace his lips on the leaders. Except this time the kiss was more erotic. A tangly mess of tongues swirling together “fuck Soob you were right, our princess is Devine” Yeonjun licks his lip to get any remaining taste of you. Moving lower to take Soobin’s place while he’s lost tongue fucking Beomgyu. Just as Yeonjun lowers his head to get a real taste he gasps as his head is ripped back by his hair. “Not a chance hyung, her pussy is mine” Soobin growls, tossing his senior next to you on the bed.

“Not fair Soobin, she wants us all you greedy fuck”

“Not ‘til I feel her thighs shake and I’m covered in her cum” Soobin bites back, ripping his shirt over his head revealing his sculpted torso. Muscles rippling as he breathes. All you want is to lick, kiss and bite your way all around it.

“Chill Yeonjun, there other things we can do while he drowns in her. Right baby?”

To be continued…?

Part 2

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E2

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. Time for VALIANT!

So this brings up heraldry in the series. We see Arthur using Camelot heradlry, and other knights doing the same but during tourneys, we see Lots of different other patterned shields. So either people usually use the shield of their overlord in battle but their own in tourneys Or no knights of Camelot besides Arthur appear in tourneys. (I think Lancelot will make this a bit clearer when we get to it.) Either way either this is Valient's family crest, or he serves someone with a family crest. Either way it makes sense for why he murders this dude. As the shield is KINDA a dead giveaway to his identity. (And we know he is a knight or at least is acting as one and pulls it off better then Merlin's later first attempt at identity theft.) They obviously do not require patents of nobility at tourneys because Gwen, Arthur and Merlin pull off a fictional Knight later just fine.

I think he is likely a knight because ARMOR IS EXPENSIVE Y'ALL.

He also says he is from the Western Illes. Because the island of Mora And Ealdor this is the first place we hear about besides Camalot. Does he mean Ireland? I think he means Ireland? ALSO! are you used to my messed up grammar and punctuation yet? I have an LD in both. This is why I always need Betas for my fics despite creative writing being my thing. (I mean besides just wanting them to be better.) (This is an example of autistic oversharing. You are welcome! BACK TO MERLIN!)

So we only see this kinda sparing with Merlin in armor and holding a sword and shield once. (Usually he just holds a target for arthur) However, Merlin does get better with a sword somewhat as the series progresses so I think it likly continues. (Though perhaps a bit more nicely) It's interesting because Arthur has his pick of people to spar with, we see that later. Yet he says "Most Servants collapse after the first blow" So who is he sparing with? Has he been given manservants he didn't like before and just used this to make them quit? ANYHOO this was not as much lore so will not often comment on character dynamics but yesh.

Okay so I will spare you the talk of different armor parts. BUT this is really interesting compared to mentions of "Camalot forged steel"

See many Castles would have their own blacksmith and the one in the villager would be more for horseshoes, nails, and the like. Because armor and weapon making was A BIG DEAL

This implies Gwen's father was a HIGHLY SKILLED blacksmith who likely served the knights of Camalot. (He can't have been the only one because when he dies there is a period of time before Elyan comes and in Gwen's words Gets the forge running again.) But for a regular blacksmith to serve as an armor and weapon maker is a BIG DEAL that kinda knowledge was highly specialized! And yet Uther killed him easily.

OKAY time to nerd out a bit! This is quartering, an advanced heraldic tradition in which an individual for some reason or another wanted to show MORE than one coat of arms they were entitled to. You guys should look all this up, its fascinating! But onward!

Okay yeah remember what I said about Gwens family likely descending back to the Roman times? It's still possible but if Arab knight equivalents can get to Camelot then her family could totally have come from northern Africa for other reasons. Also I like the dude in Mauve having an Anglo-Saxon Helm and the due behind him having one from the 1100s I love Merlin's stew of things from all over history.

Okay this is perhaps just Uther being an ass. Because I'm sorry if you are not the king of Mercia I refuse to belive you are the king of Ireland. (Albion is not united yet.)

Perhaps its mostly knights of Camalot here with some exeptions? I mean if we are creative with the dude CLEARLY of the middle east we can say somehow became a noble of camalot. It would explain a few things. Did Valiant come from Ireland (Sorry I mean The Western Illes) originally then somehow for reasons we will not question also moved to Camalot? (Unlikely as Uther asks him to stay later.) There are also very few people here so likley perliminary tournaments were held? I mean we do see in Lancelot people come from all over to try to be knights of Camalot. so THEORETICLY Uther might be being honest here?

Okay this guys helm is the same as the Arab dude we saw before I think he just took his outher coat off. BUT And some of this gear is very European. So Camalot somehow has an Arab noble family that fights in ancestral gear when they can OR he got repairs along the long journey to Camalot in local styles. Take your pick!)

(You know because I can't be normal and just say they throw this in for visual appeal.)

Something to note! This would normally be the job for a Squire. A Squire was also usually the step before knighthood but in the Merlin world they do not seem to exist!

[robinainthood]

hello pls tell me about '!!!!! chatfic!!!!!!!!!!! aka sk8 the infinity nahmsayin' the title has enchanted me due to it's many exclamation points

!! That is very fair and understandable. I apologize for the wait btw, I was having dinner and then also had to reformat this for tumblr bc yea lmao

Concept: This was my first attempt at a chat fic ever, thus it was hardly a fic and mostly an experiment. I'd love to revisit the concept with a different ship/dynamic at some point because it was a lot of fun!!

Excerpt (it's a bit long due to the formatting, sorry!):

Ice King ❄️ Today at 2:09 AM hey, you up? Iori is typing... Iori Today at 2:13 AM This better not be a booty call... Ice King ❄️ Today at 2:13 AM you wish lol im at the rink. come see me Iori Today at 2:13 AM Now?? It’s two in the morning Gojo Ice King ❄️ Today at 2:13 AM and look whos up Iori Today at 2:14 AM I'm STUDYING. Some of us actually care about our grades Ice King ❄️ Today at 2:14 AM studying at 2am is chaotic as hell will you come if i promise it’ll be worth it ↱ Ice King ❄️: "studying at 2am is chaotic as hell" Iori Today at 2:14 AM Like skating at 2am is any better lmao? ↱ Ice King ❄️: "will you come if i promise it’ll be worth it" Iori Today at 2:14 AM No. You need to get your ass off the ice and into bed Ice King ❄️ Today at 2:14 AM pleaseee Ice King ❄️ Today at 2:19 AM dont make me call you Ice King ❄️ Today at 2:27 AM 🥺👉👈 Iori is typing... Iori Today at 2:31 AM Ughhh you're so annoying ↱ Iori: "Ughhh you're so annoying" Ice King ❄️ reacted: "😇" Today at 2:35 AM Iori Today at 2:38 AM 😑 Fine. I'll be there in ten ↱ Iori: "😑" Ice King ❄️ reacted: "💙" Today at 2:38 AM Iori Today at 2:40 AM Weirdo

I do love these two actually I always forget how much I love them lmao. Maybe I'll actually finish this up and post it for funsies :)

Obligatory edit to add: the gratuitous use of exclamation points in the title was, in fact, a result of my having just discovered that chat fics were a thing and being comically excited to try it out myself hsgdjkh.

It's just another way to get to know your characters like it's a great vehicle for experimenting with their personality (would X character type formally or informally? would they use emojis or emoticons? proper punctuation or improper? abbreviations or spelled out? paragraphs or spam texts?). Plus, the formatting part tickles my brain :)

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Sorry for being dumb, I'm literally terrible when it comes to social intelligence, so could you explain what is painful so I can avoid asking it?

Anon, you are very kind for reaching out, but I need you to understand that you are absolutely not the person I was targeting with that throw-away tag.

This? This is not for you.

You wanna know why?

Because you have one of these:

and also one of these

What I am referring you is not literally a painful topic.

I am referring to sentence soup the likes of which is incomprehensible by anyone except the person who wrote it.

I am referring to run-on sentences so long they stretch into a new topic of conversation without a single comma or a period in sight before being guillotined by a character limit

And look. This is not a callout. I understand that this isn't English class - this is tumblr. I don't care if you use the right 'your' vs 'you're'. It's casual. I don't care if you capitalize stuff. Y'all'd've been perfectly fine if you just kept it short and sweet as long as I understand it.

But therein lies the problem.

As long as I understand it.

Writing messages on the internet has a goal.

That goal is to communicate an idea to another person. To establish a peer-to-peer connection. To make yourself heard.

And although I respect you guys sticking it to the man and refusing to capitalize, and using casual speech and inventing fun new words like 'yeet'

You need to realize

that if you yeet your basic ass punctuation

you will also yeet

my ability to understand you

If the message I receive looks like this

hey just wanted to ask if you i thought maybe could u draw me pony big one could be playing together with a different one could you do it please i rly like your art would be paid or no its ok if no want to show u my stuff as well have a lot of art u could maybe like anyway the pony is blue if u still want

Then halfway through this mess I had to stop, start over, and re-read everything while muttering swear-words to myself.

Because this is not a message

This is just you shoving 3-5 sentences into a blender and throwing them at my head and giving ME the task of untangling it.

USE. PERIODS. BETWEEN SENTENCES. PLEASE.

If your teachers did not explain to you how to do this - I apologize. But periods are a pretty ubiquitous part most languages. This is not an EFL or ESL issue. This a big ole' F grade on the Theory of Mind Test.

I cannot read YOUR mind. We are not connected through an ethernet cable. You need to make an effort to make your ideas CLEAR. That means breaking up your separate sentences and using a question mark once in a blue moon.

THAT is what I mean when I say some of y'alls messages pain me.

I still love you all. I just need you to come in after class, because we need to do some one-on-one tutoring.

[mslanna]

I see quite a few 'Raphael is Tav's warlock patron' scenarios, but what if Raphael discovered that the reason Tav turned down his deals was because Haarlep already had a claim to Tav's soul as the adventurer's warlock patron (can't bargain with something that is already spoken for - even as/for collateral)? For extra comedy, maybe Haarlep just kinda... forgot about their warlock until Raphael brings up the issue he is have and the incubus is all like, "Sooooo... About the matter of 'your' little mouse's soul..." (whether or not this is said nervously, teasingly, arrogantly, etc. is entirely up to you, of course).

Sorry for taking this long. 🥺

Mangled as per usual. Can't seem to put anybody close to Haarlep (outside of Be My Guest) without unglody amount of sex happening. So, 2% prompt fail, 98% smut. 😩 AFAB Tav with top surgery.

A Far Crueller Master (also on AO3)

"Master!" Tav bounces into the large red bedroom, victory in their wake. "I have met him and he is intrigued."

They come to a stop at a respectful distance. Not because decency or decorum demand it but because it is such a charming game. Their patron lounges on the enormous bed, clad scantily as ever. Their red skin seeps into the silken sheets leaving the impression that their harness hovers in places.

"Is he now?" Haarlep beckons their warlock closer. "Give me the details. All of them."

Tav approaches as their patron's voice drops into the suggestive. This is the best part. Well, apart from getting to wreak havoc in the mortal plane. "Have you not felt my visit to this house?" They climb onto the bed and crawl towards the incubus slowly. "Is my presence no longer imprinted on you?"

"Oh, be careful, little mouse." A red hand closes around Tav's face and pulls quickly. The warlock tumbles, now prone before their master that regards them with leery curiosity. "Or are you so keen to feel the pains of my possession again?"

"I am keen on all you have to give, master." Tav grins, insides quivering with anticipation. They know Haarlep appreciates their sight, chin pressed into the sheets, ass in the air as invitation. "How do you want to proceed."

Haarlep licks their lips, piercing Tav's skin with the claw of their index finger. "Give me your report. I will act as your information – or lack thereof – warrants."

Tav nods eagerly. "We were in a druids' grove, looking for help with the tadpole problem. There was none to be found but hints of hope where to attain it. When we left, he appeared to us on the path – Raphael himself in human guise."

The fingers clasping Tav's face tightened, claws digging into the soft flesh and the warlock hastens to expand.

"He wore his clothes as you described: the blue doublet overgrown with golden trim, down to the red sleeves and gold patterns on them. No devil's belt and no bells on the boots. Only plain pants with decorative seams and clasps. The hair slicked back smoothly and accompanied by the smell of cherries."

"Good little mouse." Haarlep pulls them a little closer and runs their free hand through Tav's hair. "What of his words?"

"He rhymed of course, a lullaby. I did not care for it. But as you claimed his voice is smooth a trap to lure you."

"And my voice?" Haarlep purrs.

"Trumpets. Divine doom, master." Tav smiles. "Heralds of sublime power and prowess."

"Such sweet words." The incubus pulls their pet in and closes their mouth with a kiss. Tav melts against the red chest, sucking up the spittle the incubus presses into their mouth. Arousal seeps into their body, infusing the world with a sharp twang of need.

When Haarlep lets their mouth free again, Tav's lips are slightly numb. The warlock licks them eagerly, sucking in the last droplets of the intoxicating saliva. Then they take up the thread of their account.

The incubus punctuates it with encouraging caresses and the occasional command to take of an item of clothing. Tav shivers in the hot air of the boudoir as each act of submission sends anticipation through their body. They finish their retelling naked on full display, kneeling with their legs wide.

The tip of Haarlep's tail traced patterns over their skin that makes their words tumble and stumble. But Tav holds the gaze of their Master, awaiting the next step in their dance with feigned patience.

"And what do you make of this, little mouse?"

Tav can't answer. The incubus's tail wrapped around their neck and as soon as they open their mouth for an answer, it slips in deep. Tav sucks instinctively. The prehensile body-part tangles with their tongue and makes answering impossible.

"Nothing, as per usual," Haarlep tuts. "What am I even keeping a useless warlock like you for?" The tail dived down the warlock's throat past a long destroyed gag reflex. Finally, the incubus and Tav draws in a desperate breath of air. The relief is short lived.

"Tell me," Haarlep breathes down Tav's throat, "what do I even keep you for?"

"Entertainment," Tav gasps just before their mouth is closed by the fiery lips of their Master. Haarlep fills them up with aphrodisiac saliva while their hands keep their bodies apart. Tav moans, greedy for more and skin contact they are denied. Instead the tail, done with teasing suffocations slips down between their legs. As before, it thrusts in quickly. Tav arcs into their patron, mouth dripping moans.

Haarlep send a last salve of saliva down Tav's throat. "Entertain me then," they murmur into the warlock's ear before pushing them back onto the bed. Dazed with desire, Tav misses their chance to catch their fall. A groan escapes their mouth as they arc backwards, stomach and hips bend high over the feet beneath.

"Come for me," Haarlep leers over the strained warlock. The tip of their tail buries deep, spreading slick want between the wide open legs. "But you know the rules. No hands. Use you right words."

Tav throws their head back and hip up into the teasing penetration. The tip of the tail is slim and smooth, gliding through their body with ease and not enough friction by far. Tav bucks and pleads with their Master for specific twists and turns of their tail.

Haarlep adheres, enjoying the slow unravelling of their warlock. Sweat glistens on their skin and the body writhes in empty-minded pursuit of pleasure. They have become quite good at this. Asking directly and without shame to be undone. Still, it is more fun to pull them back from the precipice.

Frustrated moans and desperate pleas fill the boudoir. Haarlep taunts their warlock back from another almost release. "How bad you are at obeying me, little mouse. Can you not even come for me?"

Overstimulated tears pool in the Tav's eyes and draw exquisite lines down the sides of their face. One day, Haarlep will break them. Tease that fragile mortal coil into desires so deep it falls apart. But not today.

"It's alright." They pull their tail out cherishing the frustrated wail it draws from Tav's lips. "Let's try something else. Maybe double the pleasure will do it."

Haarlep morphs into their warlocks from. They pull a strap-on from the air that sports a generous cock pointing backwards as well. "Be a good little mouse and put that on and in."

Tav doesn't hesitate. They moan when the large dildo widens their cunt, rippling ridges caressing their insides relentlessly. At the deepest point, the small knots trailing up the inside of the harness press down over Tav's clit. Haarlep kneels, presenting Tav with their own slick desire. They thrust in unthinking, wailing with the double assault on their sex.

"Good mouse," Haarlep coos. "Hands on my hips and don't stop until I come."

Tav grinds down deep, moaning at the cruel order. The incubus is made for sex. They can draw it out for hours while Tav breaks themself over their body again and again. Both shafts are curved perfectly for Tav's body. Ridges and bumps widen the eager cunt and soft protrusions are set to caress their clit only if they go deep enough.

So they thrust down deep, demanding their own undoing and creating it with quivering hips. Spikes of lust spring from their nub and the one shadowed over their being with each time they run themself through until the protrusions under the strap-on and inside it clasp at their sex. Ans each high is suffused with smears of pain coming from their hole stretched too wide, filled to deep.

But it is part of the game. The addictive spiral of sheer lust. Tav floats over any other physical need, beyond the reach of reason and necessity. All that exists is pleasure and the pursuit thereof. Tav fucks themselves with abandon, chasing one high after another. Their master won't relent until they are a quivering mess. At which point – Tav sinks deeply into themself.

So they pursue. Even when their body starts to give out, when each movement is exhausted pain threatening to overpower their still present desire. Tav's muscles strive and shake with exhaustion. Their cunt is wet and sore, raw with double friction. Each climax takes longer to achieve, more work and breathless rutting. But the incubus magic hooked its claws deep into their system and they only want more. Soon.

But Haarlep doesn't call them off. Wringing the last ounce of strength from their muscles, Tav still collapses over the incubus, tongue lolling out of their mouth, eyes closed in defeat.

The incubus extracts themself with a derisive snort. Turning around, they look at the crumpled mess of warlock on their bed. "Such a beautiful mess." Haarlep holds Tav's head up by their hair. Their face is flushed, rivulets of sweat marked trails over the glowing skin. "Do you think you deserve a little treat? Were you a good little mouse?"

Tav shakes their lowered head. "I did not obey your order, master. I am too weak to please you. I deserver nothing. Do as you please."

"Oh, I certainly will." The incubus pulls back Tav's head with a swift motion, exposing their throat. Their body shifts, shimmers as it changes. Haarlep parades a gallery of possible shapes before their warlock. Each with its own delectable advantages.

The Orthon was delicious for Tav to work themself over the huge cock, working hard to lower themself as Haarlep watched their tight hole struggle to take it all in. A gelugon had sharp claws to cut patterns of ownership into Tav's skin while they moved and moaned in their thrall. But not today. The little runt deserved to be stuffed until they overflowed.

The incubus chooses the form of a devil, dark blue skin and glorious horns, something close to who they once were and a form for special occasions. Tav is thrown back carelessly, legs pulled out under their ass. They leak into the red sheets, leaving stains dark as dried blood.

Haarlep bends down, sucking up the sweet tang of Tav's cunt. Their saliva forces excitement back into every fibre of their little pet. They enjoy the hopeless groans falling from their lips. Haarlep drives their tongue deep into the abused hole, adding a coat of inescapable want to the slick walls.

They spread the warlock's legs wide enough to elicit soft sounds of pain. Then they thrust in. Tav wails, fingers digging into the sheets as their hips raise in pleasure and pain. Haarlep drinks in their desolate state. Such a perfect ruination. They raise a soft leg against their body and move slow. For now content watching their cock slip into the tight opening and Tav squirming to take in all of it.

They will. It is always a struggle, but in the end, Tav's body always yields. Haarlep muffles the sounds of desperation by slipping their tail down Tav's throat. The warlock obediently sucks it down, tongue and teeth caressing it.

Enticed by that view, Haarlep pursues their own pleasure. They lean down and work their angled cock into the mortal hard and fast. It is time to take. Tav bucks under them unashamed to cry and ask for more at the same time. Haarlep buries their face at their throat. Their teeth dig deep into the flesh, drawing blood as they come.

Haarlep rides out his climax ruthlessly, cum seeping out with each thrust and coating Tav's thighs. They pull out and run a hand up between the wet legs, collecting cum and smear it over Tav's face. Tav tries to lick it of their hand, good little pet they are. With a smile, Haarlep throttles them and turns them over.

Haarlep spreads the wet legs wide again. They counted each orgasm their little pet reached and now they will get them all back. Falling over the small form before them, Haarlep slips their cock back in, cupping Tav's groan with a hand. Hungry fingers slip into the warlock's mouth, pressing down in snyc with the cock.

"Am I not entertained?" Haarlep murmurs into their pet's ear before leaning down deeper and joining their tongue with their fingers. Tav's world drowns in excruciating lust.

Tav winds down from ecstasy so strong it whites out everything. Their body shivers, shakes and hurts but it is a small price for divine rapture. Their patron lounges on the bed at their side, reading, looking no worse for the wear, looking as if they never participated in this soul wrecking endeavour.

"Now, get yourself cleaned up and whole, little mouse." Haarlep licks their lips, tasting the remnants of depraved satisfaction. They give their warlock a little shove.

The human bumbles off the bed, legs unable to hold them. It's a delicious sight and Haarlep watches with one hand between their legs as the human slowly crawls towards the pool Their ass wriggles precariously, cum and blood splattered over their skin.

The way to the restoration pool drags. Tav pulls themself forwards with painfully weak arms. Sweat and cum dries on their skin and the crust nip at them when they move. But an order is an order. They slink around the pillar and make a snail-line for the pool.

Once Tav reaches the edge, they don't bother with climbing in. They keep going, falling face-first into the water's embrace and trusting that it's healing power will strengthen them enough to surface in time.

For a held breath, Tav hangs in the warm water. Healing prickles over their body, drawing the pain from the pleasure and for short time, the world is suspended in warm bliss. Their tired muscles relax, sore skin mends, even their raw insides calm back into comfort.

Tav floats to the surface. They take a deep breath and throw their head back in relief. Then they move to the fountains and lean against the wall of the pool under downpour of water, resting their arms over the tiled edge. The world drowns in a torrent of healing and welcome massage.

Tav blinks when a familiar figure approaches from the wrong side of the pool. The red devil is also too overdressed to be their patron. Tav blinks water from their eyes and dips a little lower into the water.

But it is too late. The approaching devil has noticed them and by the way he speeds up his pace is not amused with the intrusion. Tav considers moving to the middle of the pool, out of reach, but the clear water makes them feel vulnerable.

"You." Raphael hisses. His eyes are narrowed, lips drawn into a thin line.

Tav raises a hand and waves sheepishly.

The devil looks from them around the room, trying to piece their presence together.

Unexpected help comes from Haarlep who pounces on the chance to fan the flames. "Trouble, my dear?" Their voice carries through the boudoir.

"No!" Tav calls back.

"Yes," Raphael answers at the same time.

Their eyes meet and Tav adds a sheepish grin.

"What are you doing with my incubus?" the devil demands.

"What I am doing?" Tav counters. "Ask my patron what they are doing to me." Tav puts a hand before their impudent mouth. Whatever would an incubus do to a human? They lick their lips nervously.

"Your patron." Raphael's voice is flat.

"Well, you knew I am a warlock." Tav crosses their arms, and it is definitely from annoyance and not the feeling of utter exposure under the devil's glare.

"And that patron is me." Haarlep saunters towards them. "What a fun little coincidence."

"You have never mentioned a warlock," Raphael says.

"Just because you spill all your secrets under passion, doesn't mean I have to." The incubus, puts a teasing finger under their master's chin. "But don't be cross. You know now. And what fun we can have if we put our anger behind us now. Don't you agree?" They lick their lips suggestively.

For a moment, Tav does not exists in the world of the two devils bound to each other by a higher power. The warlock slides out of the pool and tries to sneak around the two devils locked in a combat of will that shows only in their eyes.

Tav almost makes it. Their patron's hand snaps to the side, gripping their arm painfully when they are almost past the incubus. "Not so fast little mouse. It seems the master of the house is not satisfied with how this played out."

"Something that is easily amended, don't you think?" Tav is pushed in front of Haarlep, not like a shield, more like an offering. "After all, sharing is caring."

[fatale-distraction]

How about #4 "How can you not understand how much I love you?"

More Barcus because he’s my little king. I also went into the character creator and made Lithe! Wish there were more long braid options, but alas I am on PS5, not PC, so no mods.

Also sorry the line is a little different from the prompt. I wrote this from memory during a slow point at work today, so I didn’t remember it exactly right. 🤣

"How could you ever doubt that I love you?" Lithe demanded.

Barcus gave a wry snort. "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"Do I look like I'm fucking laughing?" She crossed her arms over her chest and fixed the gnome with a look that had frequently sent even Astarion looking for somewhere else to cause trouble. Barcus however, held his ground admirably.

"Well, let's just see, shall we?" he tilted his chin up in defiance. "You're a beautiful elven woman who murders evil-doers for fun, and I'm, what? A useless little gnome who can't take two steps without being kidnapped and isn't even worth enough to his own oldest friend to keep around."

"Wulbren. Is. A. Cunt." Lithe punctuated each word by tapping the knife-edge of one hand into the palm of the other. "Elistraee's divine merciful tits, you're so caught up with him you can't even see your own worth!"

"Maybe he's right!" Barcus cried, throwing his hands up.

"Maybe doves will fly out of my ass," came the sarcastic retort, at which Barcus scoffed. "I mean it, you're wonderful! You're clever and funny and brave--"

"Ha!" the smaller man puffed himself up. "Brave! You're the one chasing down mad cultists and stabbing at giant monsters, or whatever it is you do. I just..." he gestured helplessly toward the little workbench he’d set up on the corner of the inn. "Sit here and…tinker."

Lithe sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She could argue with him until the sun went down and came back up again, but he was as stubborn as she was. The elf took a deep breath and slung her bow off her shoulder, knocking an arrow in almost the same motion. The gnome's eyes widened a bit and he took a step back.

"See that spider on the wall over there?" she pointed.

Barcus squinted. There was a tiny dark blob on a plank across the room, just above Rolan’s head. "Sort of."

Without taking her eyes off of him, Lithe pulled and shot her arrow. Barcus followed the arrow's flight and watched it sink deep into the wall with a dull thunk. The dark blob was now a little blobbier. Several people screamed, including Rolan, between whose horns the arrow had arced perfectly. Jaheira rose from where she’d hit the deck and shouted “Stop shooting arrows in my inn!”

Lithe ignored her. “Dead center. You can check if you’d like.”

"I wouldn't like," the gnome shook his head and began to wonder if picking a fight with such a terrifying woman had been such a clever idea.

"Barcus," she said evenly as she holstered her bow again, the inn’s occupants glaring at her and muttering. "I was born and raised to fight the worst this world has to offer and then some. I've trained for this kind of thing for a hundred years. Literally one hundred. Going after monsters is what I DO. That's not bravery, that's a Wednesday."

"I don't think you're making the point you think you're making."

Lithe held deceptively small hands out imploringly. "You're an artificer. Your area of expertise is libraries and workshops, not beasties and wilderness. But you took off into the unknown anyway, for the sake of your friend. You survived goblins and ghouls and slave labor at the hands of duergar and drow and crossed through the Shadowlands, all because you love someone so much you can't bear the thought of them facing such dangers alone. Barcus, that is so very brave I can't even stand it. Very brave, and very stupid, but it's an admirable kind of stupid."

Barcus crossed his arms over his chest and leveled an exasperated look at her. "Have you often been told you're terrible at declarations of love?"

"Quite often."

He sighed. He rubbed a hand down his face and sighed again. Lithe waited patiently.

“I absolutely hate it when you do this, but..." With world-weary reluctance, he lifted his arms. Lithe squealed and snatched him up into a bone-breaking hug, snuggling into the crook of his neck. Barcus tried not to squirm too much and let himself enjoy the way her breasts smushed against his torso. "You're a good girl," he muttered fondly, stroking her soft, herbal-scented hair. He very much enjoyed the little laugh and slight shiver that coursed through her, and tucked that interesting bit of information away for later.

"I'm not a girl, I'm a lady," she insisted playfully as she set him back down.

"A woman maybe, but certainly not a lady," Barcus grumbled, making a great show of straightening his clothes out. She may have been a proper adult at 110, but he was a good thirty years her senior. Not an unreasonable difference when one lived to be four hundred or more, but at least enough to tease someone about.

"I can punt you just as easily as I did Wulbren," she reminded him with a sweet smile as she turned to wander back out into the common area of the inn. Several nosy heads disappeared from around the corners and one person had the audacity to actually whistle innocently. Apparently her show with the arrow had drawn the patrons’ attention to their little drama. Barcus shook his head.

"Lithe, wait..." he called before he could think better of it. She paused and turned with a mild look of surprise and curiousity. "I...I care about you, too. Really, I do,” he promised earnestly. “I just need a little time, I think."

Lithe smiled sadly at him and continued on her way. Too late Barcus realized time was one thing she definitely didn’t have.

[lvst4lifee]

10. 7: KINKTOBER DAY 1 KIRK HAMMETT

includes: body worship, clothes on sex, sex with feelings, sorta somewhat romantic?, creampies. short and shit sorry.

his hands ran up and down my body leading a trail of kisses along my stomach to chest.

"kirk please..." i sighed.

"hmm?" his brown eyes looked up at me threw his eyelashes, but he didnt stop kissing and sucking me.

"just fuck me, please baby!"

not wanting to leave her waiting kirk started to undress himself, so she started to undress aswell. Hooking her hands at the bottom of her silk, sleep dress that she chose specifically to turn him on she started to pull up before kirks hands grabbed hers to stop her. "No. leave your dress on tonight,and turn around."

she did as she was told and turned around laying on her stomach. Kirks fingers pushed the dress slightly up over her ass and ran his hands over her covered legs. She wore tights connected to a garter tonight specially for him and he was going to make the most out of it.

y/ns eyes fluttered shut as kirk carefully worked one finger inside her, feeling her body relax with pleasure,

“Gorgeous,” kirk said into her neck, “So beautiful, so perfect,” he sighed against her. He added another and Curled his fingers inside her, his thumb rubbed little circles against her swollen clit, his fingers not stoping again until she squirmed, hips shaking against his palm, instinctively chasing down release. y/n clutched the sheets, Her moans filled room until her body quivered, thighs shuddering and clamped around his hands.

kirk shifted,positioning her on her back, drawing out her pleasure a few moments longer with gentle strokes. Finally, he held her as she gasped – skin flushed pink, hair damp with sweat, breathing quick and shallow with her body gleaming beneath the moon light, giving her time to recover as he admired her.

Precum beaded along his cock, dribbling onto the mattress, eager for y/n. his cock slicked up her folds, catching against her entrance, and with one gentle push, she parted around him. Hot and welcoming. kirk bit down on his lip, body aching to move, but he held himself back for her, giving her time to adjust. “fuck baby,” he groaned.

“kirk,” her breath rushed over his skin, she breathed, words punctuated with quiet gasps. “so good..,” she whimpered, body taut, arms tightening around his neck. Trailing a hand down her side, over her hip, he wrapped his long fingers around her thigh, raising her knee towards her chest and deepening his thrusts while his other hand pressed into the mattress beside her head, holding his weight.

her whimpering turned to desperate sobs as kirk reached a steady rhythm – alternating his thrusts from shallow to deep. All the while, his mouth was on her neck again, nibbling along the angle of her jaw and beneath her ear, whispering her praises between each press of his lips.

“fucking hell I’m,” he dropped his head against her chest, burying his face between her breasts, and groaning. Kirk shuddered when her hands slid up his arms and over his back, wrapping her arms around him as his cock thrusted at a punishing pace.

“Come with me, y/n,” kirk whispered into her ear, her heat tightening, locking around his cock as she came again when his cock throbbed, and he spilled inside her. trembling with release, his hips chased the last of his spend, moving into overstimulation before he finally pulled out.

"i love you"...

A/n: this is really short and shit but i am sick asf so i dont really have the energy to write a whole lot but i still wanted to post smth. it'll get better once i'm better. Also this is really body worship and more of just normal sex 💀 sorry abt that.

alsoo to the anon that asked for smth and then said nvm latter bc they read what i'm not wrighting abt sorry i'm just not comfortable writing abt that but you can probably find that type of stuff on ao3 😭

[scepterno]

Oh my god I love nsfw with acc feelings in it it makes it so real and meaningful icl

I remember reading one where Alejandro was insanely focused on Noah and like to get handsy and describe every part he loved ab him😭 Alejandro when he’s not playing in TD is so different towards people (if he wasn’t attracted to Heather he’d be attracted to Noah?? Or something like that I remember seeing it) but yeah Noah felt so safe with him and wasn’t at all nervous to say no to things in the fic it was so sweet☹️

I haven't read any nsfw fics of alenoah simply because.. erm...... i do not enjoy a lot of alenoah fics in general.. i cannot shake the feeling that most are written by teens so i just tend to avoid them by virtue of not wanting to read some high schooler's fanfic. i am a stickler about proper grammer, syntax, rhythm and beats, or what have you. *pushes up glasses* i am a scholar in STEM at heart. do not let the art degree fool you! when you get older and go to college you tend to...................................... now, i don't mean to be rude, but you tend to refine your tastes in literature, aka silly gay fanfics in the internet.

i just cannot bring myself to sit through more than 2 sentences of a fic if there's not proper punctuation or grammar. (also you can sort of tell when a fic is written by someone young or inexperienced, which, you know, power to them! you cant get better if you dont suck first! but that does not. mean. i will subject myself to Suck) i simply cannot. it hurts my bones.

that was a totally unrelated tangent. WOOPS. sourry 'bout that, mate.

what you're thinking of is the reddit AMA with alejandro's original voice actor where someone asked if they could see alejandro being attracted to anyone other than Heather, using Noah as an example, and he agreed. (they kind of led him into that one, so i take it with a grain of salt, but celebrate nonetheless)

i personally cannNNNAWWWWTTTT see Noah as submissive in a sexual situation with alejandro. with someone like Emma? yeah. sure. vaporize that stupid twink. but with alejandro, who brings out the competitive, spiky side to Noah??? i cant see him assuming the submissive role. maybe he likes to get pampered and Pillow Princess'd once in a while (he is VERY lazy to his core, after all).

i do find it interesting how most people tend to agree that alejandro would be a much better person as soon as he's no longer on reality television. although, i suppose that applies to most characters, especially the villains.

i personally still think that alejandro has a nasty side, since he wasn't ALLOWED to have a nasty side around his family (or he'd get a beating). being on total drama let him have fun with being a complete asshole, which is not something he was ever allowed to do before then, because he's supposed to be perfect! and suave! and a gentleman! Chris hired him to be a dirtbag, so he played the part and had a blast doing it (until it bit him in the ass)

i do regret not being able to show alejandro's Nasty Side more in my fic, but i dont' really think there was room for it given how hard he was trying to redeem himself both in his family's eyes, as well as Noah's. once he and Noah are more comfortable with each other, Alejandro definitely allows himself to be let loose a bit and forego the manners. he truly DOES admire that Noah isn't a pushover, because he considers himself one and wishes, deep down, that he wasn't so compelled to be a people pleaser. there is a subconscious filter in his brain that keeps him generally polite, just because it's been drilled into him by his family (diplomatic and strict, cough cough) that being undesirable or off-putting is something to be punished for.

EGADS, it appears I have allowed myself to ramble again, so I'll cut it off here. sorry for using your fairly straightforward message as a means of info-dumping. 'tis the turn of the tide, or what have you.

じゃね~~~~!!!

[gingerjolover]

omg hello there 😁

crazy to find you here. 😼 listen… I know you asked for valentines requests and I know you might have other stuff to write about before you get to this ask… but I wanted to know if you could do more controversially young gf with the other munagenius members jo, naomi and lucy in specific (lmao just practically naming all the members. btw this is not phoebe and katie erasure i’m in love with them and would want fics for them aswell but those three are my personal biases 🙄💅)

you asked a while ago like idk a couple months ago if this was something we would have wanted and i was actually going to request it. but I didn’t know how asks worked until last week. longwinded way of me saying this was something i wanted 🙄

i will wait years if it meant we got a fic like the julien x contro young gf one but for the other members cause i’ve read it too many times since it came out 🥴🤨

i wish i had some ideas to help you yet i am useless and don’t know how to put into words what i want. i know you would create magic though 😉

anyway…. thank you so much if you decide to do this or even read this long ass ask i would be so super grateful if you do 😁

coming from your number one fan, a gay loser with too much time on her hands 🤘

so sorry for the lack of punctuation and sucky grammar lmao i use grammarly and am too ashamed to run this ask through the system before submitting

be my friend please

xoxo 💁‍♀️😼😽😻🫶🙌😹🤘

omg hi baby!!!

first off, yes let’s be bffs! i know i’ve been absent for a while and im a lil flaky but im trying to get better and am always down to chat!

i do plan on doing at the very least blurbs of munagenius x controversially young!gf

idk if they will all get full length fics but we will have some type of stories for sureeee

also i love long asks! i’m sorry im responding sooooo late, i have 300+ rn 😫

thank you for following along honey<3

[jazzraft]

32, nyxnoct >:3 ♡

this and two other prompts have been sitting in my mailbox since march of last year, and I am so sorry about that! I know you won't mind that I deviated a bit here for the sake of general nyx propaganda. there's still hints of nyxnoct because I'm me, but I threw nods towards every other major nyx ship I could remember into this as well.

vote for nyx in this round of the most fuckable ff man! or just enjoy this silly nonsense as I continue to drag my ass out of my worst writer's block ever

---

“This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Nothing done for charity is ever dumb.”

Nyx rolled his eyes in response, trying so hard not to laugh at the prince’s pouting puffed cheeks. Noctis did not find it funny. Building barns for therapy chocobos was not a crusade he undertook lightly, and quite frankly? He knew his people. He knew that, if fluffy yellow chicks and dewy-eyed war veterans weren’t going to attract donations, than sex sure as hell would.

“I thought you were above this kind of exploitation, Your Highness,” Nyx said mildly, allowing himself to be pushed along.

“I’m not above anything for a good cause,” Noctis wheezed, leaning his weight into Nyx’s back as he all but shoved him in front of the cameras. “Those chocobos need houses and the veterans need rehab, so shut up and take off your shirt!”

“But you’ve already got volunteers!”

The whole tenth floor of the Citadel had been invaded by ring lights and photographers and drop sheets and clothes racks. Men and women from all of the Crown’s departments were shuffling about with half their clothes on, posing in front of cameras with a variety of different props. One man was drenched in way too much tanning oil, slipping into frame and trying for a smile that was too white on his orange face.

“Look at what I have to work with,” Noctis mumbled.

“He’s not so bad,” Nyx reasoned, appraising the man’s trim waist and broad chest.

“He’s greasy. And I don’t like his face. His eyes are small.”

“Wow, this calendar sure sounds judgmental.”

“This isn’t about him. This is about you, being a soldier, and therefore relatable, and also hot.” Noctis heaved the deliberately uncooperative glaive in front of an unoccupied drop sheet, punctuating every other word with the effort it took to get him in position. “Just think of your former brothers in arms,” Noctis said, gasping for breath. “Think of how their mental health could be significantly improved with some relaxing therapy riding.”

Nyx smirked, preparing an affected mockery for all of this being “in poor taste,” but Noctis stopped him before he could, planting his hands on either side of Nyx’s face.

“Yes, that. Hold that face while I find Prompto.”

“What face?” Nyx laughed, bemused.

“Don’t play coy… No, wait, do play coy! Do what you’re doing!”

Noctis could never really tell if Nyx was oblivious to his own sex appeal, or he knew damn well. Sometimes, he’d look at him with those innocent blue eyes and Noctis would think, “Oh, how cute, he has no idea.” Then, other times he’d pull that smirk, that devious little quirk of the lips that dimpled his cheek, softening the sturdy, scruffy line of his jaw. His eyes all of a sudden turned sharp, lids hooding and darkening the irises a stormy gray. The sly glint to them skewered Noctis in place, both terrified and attracted to the dangerous potential of that smirk.

Mercifully, the hallway doors banging open snapped him out of it. Unmercifully, it was Cor.

“Noct!” he thundered, zeroing in on the prince like a targeting missile. “When I said it was a no to the Crownsguard, a no to the Kingsglaive was also implied.”

“They are not the same things,” Noctis insisted. “You get to order one around, not the other. Drautos is cool with it.”

“Titus Drautos said yes to you pimping out the Kingsglaive for charity,” Cor said, dryly, not a question, pointedly not looking at Crowe Altius in a leather catsuit revving a fake motorcycle across the room.

“He encouraged me to use the Glaive’s greatest ass for good.”

“Asset.”

“So you agree!”

Cor sighed, witheringly, palm flat against his face. Why did reasoning with the Crown Prince always fall to him? Why did the word “reason” have absolutely no definition to the Caelum line of kings? He found out about this ridiculous affront to altruism through Regis when pressed on the prince’s schedule for the day.

“Oh, he’s just doing a sexy photoshoot for charity,” the King said over his morning tea, as flippantly as a comment on the weather. “I hear it’s going to be very tasteful.”

“Noct,” Cor said, presently. “It’s one thing to waste the Crownsguard’s resources, it’s another for you to – Ulric, put your clothes back on!”

Nyx blinked over at him, confused by the outrage, shirt halfway up his torso. He smiled, teeth peering from beneath his lips in a wolfish grin.

“What? If the Crownsguard thinks they’re above getting down and dirty to save a few innocent chocobos…”

“That’s not what I think.”

“And yet, I don’t see you stripping, Marshal.”

Nyx pulled off his shirt and Crowe whistled from across the room, “Yeah! Take it off!”

Cor wished this entire level of the Citadel would implode underneath him and take everyone else down with the rubble. Nyx rolled his neck, wheeled out his arm, and the whole room warmed up by ten degrees.

Miles of ochre flesh stretched before them, sun-bronzed and sculpted. A youth spent scaling canyons had honed those rippling abs, flexing casually with every breath. Straight shoulders, levied by decades of standing at attention, framed the wide planes of Nyx’s chest, no less devastating for the spidery scar bursting like bolts of lightning across his sternum. The thin line of ink around his arm strained as he worked his muscles awake – as if he were going into battle. Divots formed in his firm biceps as he moved, the ridges of his collarbone pulling out and in under taut golden skin.

“So, do I just stand here or…?”

Cor thwacked Noctis upside the head to knock him out of staring – as if he wasn’t doing the same. The Crown Prince sputtered something incoherent, then scuttled away to find Prompto. Of course Noct’s little blond cohort was roped into directing this nonsense. At least he had the good sense to look cowed once he was dragged in front of Cor.

“Oh, h-hey, Marshal!” Prompto greeted, sheepishly. “Don’t suppose you’re here to contribute.”

“I expected better from you.”

“Ignore him,” Noctis insisted upon seeing Prompto’s eyes go wide and watery. “Remember the chocobos. Nyx, sit on this!”

Noctis dragged an ornate divan into frame, his tiny body surprisingly strong when he was motivated. Nyx obliged the Crown Prince’s frenetic orders with that same roguish smirk, bouncing onto the plush blue cushions. Noctis scurried out of the way and gestured for Prompto to do his thing.

“Right, so, just relax,” Prompto told Nyx, fiddling with the camera set-up. “Lean your arm against there… okay, put your legs like… yeah, like that… Now, just look off to the side a little… Yeah, perfect!”

Prompto went on like that for a couple minutes, Nyx obediently following his lead. He sprawled across the divan like an ancient war general, casually awaiting news from the front or effortlessly issuing commands before he’d donned his armor for the day. He shuffled through a few expressions towards the invisible compatriot he was meant to be acting against.

Prompto would tell him to narrow his eyes as if he were displeased, his dark brows withering his whole demeanor with the barest crease of pretended annoyance. He’d ask him to run his fingers through his braids and open his mouth to yawn, as if the whole affair bored him - and the state of his undress was of no concern before his imaginary council. Nyx would lean his chin in his palm and wink at the camera sometimes, unprompted, and on reflex, Prompto would hit the shutter to capture the brazen flirtation.

“What else can I do for you?” Nyx eventually asked, after Prompto’s instructions had run as dry as his throat. “Any other way you want me?”

“U-Um… I don’t know,” he spluttered, rifling through the set of pictures so he didn’t have to make eye contact with the subject – instead just starting at the replication of his bare chest on film. “I think that’s enough, right guys?”

“What? Oh, sure,” Noctis said vacantly. (Cor remained mum.)

“It’s missing some spice,” said Ignis, startling all of them.

“How long have you been here?” Prompto squeaked in alarm.

“You asked me to be here. I’ve been catering all morning,” Ignis reminded him, dismissively – evidently it hadn’t been the first time. He glanced up at Nyx. “Try adding something that’s unique to you.”

“It sounds as if my presence bores you, Scientia,” Nyx laughed, wounded.

“Hardly,” Ignis said, and if Noctis didn’t know him better he would have missed the compliment hidden in that single, dry word. “What sets you apart from all the other glaives in attendance?”

Crowe was mussing up her long, brown tresses for the motorcycle shoot; Tredd was in a bath towel, face doused in shaving cream as he ponderously pretended to swipe it off with a razor; and Libertus was lifting a few of the volunteers’ kids off the floor by his biceps.

“I don’t know. I can do magic tricks?” Nyx offered, calling up a burst of flame to his palm.

The fire gave his skin a coppery glow, dancing shadows accentuating the even lines of his abdomen. The light deepened the links of muscle that built his chest and brightened the subtle tattoos marked upon them. It burned his silvery blue eyes into hammered steel, which shifted around the gathered audience expectantly.

“That’ll do,” Ignis said, matter-of-factly, adjusting his glasses as he nudged Prompto into action.

From the next setting over, a shirtless Gladio snorted, “Show off,” as his artfully damp abs shined under the overhead lights. (“Eyes here, please,” his photographer advised, to which he quickly jerked back to attention.)

A few months later, all the way across the Cygillian Sea, Lunafreya Nox Fleuret received a parcel with Noctis’ diligent dog-based correspondence. She loved hearing about his passion projects, praying that one day she may contribute to them herself.

“What’s he up to this time, eh, Pryna?” she murmured, idly scratching the messenger behind the ears as she reviewed Noct’s notes.

He had provided a small, desktop copy of a calendar he’d organized for his chocobo charity, which he had only just been planning the last time he’d written. She laughed now, as he warned her of its contents – as if she were so naïve to human anatomy, given her doctoral discipline. Lucians she’d never met posed in scanty costumes across a variety of different scenes, smoldering out of the calendar in the name of veterans across the country.

She was particularly drawn to the August spread, where a mohawked stranger in leather pants and nothing else reclined upon a gothic divan, holding fire in his hand. He stared beyond the page with lowered eyelids, face pressed into his palm, one tattooed finger lining his temple in an affectation of profound thought. Given the dark dive of his smile and the knowing mischief in his eyes, what he could be thinking of left little to the imagination.

She was just about to start in on her response – warring with herself if she should ask after any models in particular – when from over her shoulder, a slithering voice inquired, “My, my, who is this handsome stranger?”

Ardyn Izunia leered unabashedly at the provocative photograph, which Luna smacked him in the face with as she screeched, “Get out of my room!”

The charity campaign was a huge success.