#also my mullet is mulleting hard here

[mywritersmind]

CURB FLIRTING - LN4

summary : In which Lando finds a girl crying on the side of the road and decides to help her a bit.

listen up : this is the cutest thing i’ve ever written. no pt.2‼️

word count : 1438

⋆｡‧˚⋆

Tears stream down my face, I try to control my breathing but I'm still in shock. Even though I'm sobbing, I want to laugh.

I’m sitting on a curb outside of a club, it’s gross and there’s cigarette butts by my feet. I can only smell alcohol and the scent of my vanilla perfume.

I want to rip it off my body. I try to take a deep breath but my chest hurts and I start coughing. People around me ask if I'm okay but when I nod they leave.

Until a man’s shoes appear in front of me, “Are you alright?” I look up, breathing heavily still before nodding and looking back down at his shoes. I like them.

He sits next to me, “You sure?” He has an accent. British, I think.

“No.” I laugh as he cracks a smile.

“I’m Lando.” He holds out his hand for me to shake, so I do. His ring is cold against my burning skin. When I meet his eyes again, I realize they’re green and unfairly stunning.

In fact, his whole face is stunning. He’s got curly hair, dark and mullet-ish, his clothes are light and his jewelry is nice.

“I’m Y/n.” I sniffle, wiping a tear from my face, “I like your shoes.”

He smiles again, “Thank you. I like your dress.” I glance down to my bare legs, hot and uncomfortable with the icy air. He seems to notice my body language and shrugs off his jacket, laying it over my legs.

I frown, crying more, “Hey- I didn’t mean to make it worse.” He looks genuinely worried.

“You didn’t. I’m just- Thank you.” He nods, “I’m kinda embarrassed.”

“No need. Plenty of strangers have seen me cry.” He shrugs, eyeing my hair and earrings, “You don’t need to worry though, you’re a pretty crier.”

I let out a laugh, something I haven’t done for a few hours, “I doubt you aren’t.” His presence is oddly comforting yet also awkward because I was bawling in front of him.

His smile is kind and soft while his body looks sharp and hard. “You flatter me, Y/n.” I like the way he says my name. But that could just be because of my tears.

“What’s your deal, Mr. Lando no last name?” My eyes are still wet but my tears are no longer falling, “Are those your friends?”

We both look over to the group on the other side of the road, three men staring. Lando eyes them but quickly looks back at me, “Uh, yeah.”

“Do they think a twenty four year old woman is going to hurt you?” I look at them again, “Because they sure are protective.”

He laughs, “Protective is a good word for it. Where are your friends?” This makes me frown and he sees it instantly, “Are you visiting Monaco?”

I nod, “Yeah. Are you?”

He shakes his head, “I live here.” My eyes instinctively widen at this. He looks young. I mean, he could be studying here I guess but still.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty five.” This makes my brows pull together, he laughs at this.

“Are you… rich?” I whisper it as if it’s illegal.

He leans it a bit close, “Sort of.”

I hum, “How…?”

“I’ll tell you if you come and sit in my car with me.” I raise a brow at this, crossing my arms, “I promise it’s just because I'm worried you’re gonna catch a cold.” I look at him skeptically too, “You can hold my keys if it makes you feel better.”

I stand, holding his jacket close to me as he drops his keys into my hand. I stare down at them, blink. “A McLaren?” I roll my eyes.

“An eye roll is not the usual reaction I get for that!” He starts walking and I follow him.

“Oh, so you bring all the girls you find crying in the street into your car?” He eyes me, a slight smirk on his face.

“Only the pretty ones.”

I roll my eyes, “You’re going to let a stranger take the keys to your McLaren?” He just shrugs.

“I know your name. You know mine.”

He lets me sit in the driver's seat, he turns the car on and Mamma Mia starts blasting. “Shit.” He mumbles, turning it down quickly as I giggle.

“A musical fan…?” His face is serious and definitely embarrassed. I can’t help but laugh more, “Okay, Okay. How are you, Mr. very mysterious Lando no last name, rich?”

He stretches his arms up, grinning but staying silent. Oh god. He’s fit as hell.

“Oh no.” I feel doom approaching me.

“What?” he asks.

“Don’t tell me you’re a footballer.”

He looks horrified, “An american footballer?” I did forget about that one little difference between us. “Why would I be an American footballer?”

“Well you’re-” He raises a brow as I groan, “You clearly work out.” He laughs at me. “Lando! I’m serious, you’re an athlete aren’t you? Oh god I don’t want to know. Do you play soccer? You’ve got the height for it.”

His jaw is dropped at this point, “Calling me hot then calling me short is insane!”

“I did not say, ‘hot’!” I scoff, turning towards him, “Tell me what you really do then. Are you in the Mafia?”

He sighs, leaning his head against the glass of his car. I hadn't realized before, but I'm much more comfortable here. Well, I suppose a McLaren has got to be more comfortable than a street corner.

It’s quieter and definitely warmer. Plus, I do feel safe with Lando which is a bit odd because I just met the guy.

“I’m a formula 1 driver.”

Oh?

“Oh.” I nod. I don’t know anything about motorsport so I'm a bit lost, but I guess I got my answer, “So you drive cars?”

He looks happy at my answer, his smile making my cheeks heat, “Yeah… Yeah I drive cars.���

Lando Norris.

An interesting name for an interesting man. We stay in his car for another… hour? I don’t know. I lose track of time when Lando starts telling me about everywhere he’s traveled.

He lets me rant or stay silent, something I've been waiting for all night. Or maybe all my life.

He leaves me for five minutes alone, in which I peek around his car, finding absolutely nothing but a golf ball and a bag of chips. He comes back with a smile on his face and an ask.

I move to the passenger seat, saying hi to his friends. He said that he wanted me to feel safe and after the conversation with his friends, I really do. I don’t think I've ever laughed harder at a man’s friend group.

He plays ‘Thank you for the music’ on low while I look out the window, my hair blowing in the wind.

“Hey uh-” he clears his throat, “Could I get your number? Just to check in tomorrow.” I bite my lip as he hands me his phone, smiling to myself as I type in my number.

“Dont abuse it.” I joke as he taps his finger against the wheel.

He's grinning again, “Can’t promise anything.”

I sigh, watching the city pass by me, some of the boats on the water quiet and some bright and loud. I like it here. Even if me crying had to get me in such a good mood.

“Thanks for driving me.”

“Of course, I hope to do it again, one day.”

“You know we're probably not going to see eachother again, right?” I see the corner of his mouth quirk downwards, “I’m going home tomorrow.”

“And I have access to private planes.” He shrugs as I scoff.

“Lando. I just met you. What if I was some crazy stalker?” Does this man not know stranger danger?

He eyes me, “Well, are you?”

“No…”

“So,” he glances at me, a curl falling into his face, “I'll see you soon.”

Sadly, my hotel isn’t far and when he pulls up to the front, I get an odd sensation of sadness washing over me. “Want me to walk you up?”

I shake my head, “You’ve done enough for me.” I lean over the middle console and press a soft kiss to his cheek, “Have a good night, Lando.”

“You too, Y/n.” I grab my bag, and slip out the expensive car, looking back one last time to see Lando watching me. His eyes are meaningful and something I have a feeling I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

[leesleelee]

Undercover Connection.

Billy hargrove x mechanic! male reader.

You, a senior in highschool works at Hawkins local mechanic shop, where Billy brings his Camaro for repair after a particularly reckless night. But your calm demeanor intrigues him.

CW: strong language, mild violence, implied abuse, smoking, emotional vulnerability, tense situations, minor injury(s), soft romance.

word count: 3,163

Sometimes the people you meet are a blessing or a lesson learned.

You were quiet but you were also skilled. This is how you got a part-time job at the Hawkins mechanic. Being reliable and skillful was rare, like a blessing.

People knew you were reliable with cars, and also keeping things to yourself. Preferring the quiet hum of engines over the noise of high school drama.

Your quiet demeanor is nothing compared to Billy Hargrove. He was hot-headed. Unbearable. Reckless. You two were complete opposites.

It was a Friday after school, the sun was hotter than usual. It felt unbearable, every sweat that went down your face felt like a bullet. Your face read nothing, like it always was.

But your brain was a jumple of thoughts clashing into each other.

You were working on an old pick up truck. You were too busy on tightening the bolt on the old pick up truck.

As you were too focused on working on the truck, the bell above the garage door jingles sharply, cutting through the rhythmtic hum of tools and clanking metal.

You notice Billy Hargrove stride in. But your attention was focused on working on the truck. Why should you give all of your attention on some dick head at school? Yes, Billy Hargrove was very pretty. His plump lips wrapped around his cigarette made you question things.

But that doesn't make up the fact he's a reckless selfish dick.

Billy's usual cocky smirk was plastered all over his face. Even though there was a flicker of annoyance in his eyes. His Camaro sat just outside, steam rising faintly from the hood, a testament from his reckless driving.

Behind the counter, you barely glanced up, you were busy with the truck. The sound of heavy boots approaching didn't faze you.

"If you're here for a quick fix, you're out of luck. I'm the only one working today, and I've got three cars ahead of yours."

This catches Billy's attention, making the curly head pause by the indifferent tone. Most people in Hawkins either flinch or try to hard to please him, but you? You don't even seem to care.

"Yeah well, my car's not exactly running right now, so you'll have to make time. Can't have Hawkins' bad boy walking everywhere, can we?" Billy sharply said as he leaned against the counter, smirking.

This makes you finally look up, raising a eyebrow as he takes in the sight of Billy. The infamous mullet that is a dirty blonde color, leather jacket, fluffy curls, pretty blue eyes, and a perpetual smirk. Everything about him just screams trouble.

You can tell he is obviously impatient.

You spoke up dryly, "Bad boy or not, your Camaro is not special. You're getting in line like everyone else." You said as you rolled your eyes in annoyance. He was starting to get on your nerves.

"What, you don't think my 'baby deserves VIP treatment?" Billy responsed to you, in a mocking tone.

You shrugged and turned back to the truck, "Your 'baby' looks like it got into a fight with a tree." You mocked at Billy back.

"Be glad I'm not telling you to scrap it." Billy just rolled his eyes at your mocking. He let out a sharp laugh, more genuine than he expected. He steps closer, peering over your shoulder as you worked.

"What's your deal, huh? You always this charming, or just saving it for me?"

"Just for you. Now either tell me what's wrong with your Camaro or find another shop." You said as you were still focused.

Billy felt his eyes narrow in response, but he doesn't argue. He's not used to being brushed off like this, and he isn't sure if this annoys him or intrigues him.

Billy started to grumble. "Engines overheating. Won't stay running for more than five minutes."

As Billy said this, you finally set down your wrench, wiping your hands on a rag in a fast motion. You step out behind the counter, motioning for Billy to follow him to the car.

"Pop the hood. Let's see if I can save this piece of junk."

Billy watches you approach the Camaro with ease that rivals his own confidence. For the first time in a while, Billy feels like he's not the one in control, and he's not sure if he minds it.

The Camaro’s hood is popped, and the garage is filled with the faint smell of oil and overheated metal. You leaned over the engine, flashlight in hand, while Billy stands off to the side, arms crossed and eyes fixed on the scene in front of him.

“When’s the last time you checked the coolant?” You said as you were focused on the engine.

Billly shrugged again in response, “What, you think I keep track of that stuff?”

You smirked faintly. “Yeah, I can tell. This thing’s running on fumes and bad decisions.” You responded, amused.

Billy raises an eyebrow, leaning casually against the workbench, Billy grinned.

“You’re real mouthy for a mechanic.”

You shot Billy a glance

“You’re real cocky for someone who can’t keep his car running.”

Billy lets out a short laugh at you, surprised by the quick comeback. He picks up a wrench from the workbench, spinning it in his hand absentmindedly.

“You always this pleasant, or is it just my lucky day?”

“Depends. You always this much of a pain?” You added as you returned to the engine, not missing a beat

Billy chuckles, the sound low and genuine, and for a moment, there’s an unspoken truce in the air. He watches as you methodically works on his car, the faint glow of the flashlight catching on the streaks of grease smudged across their cheek.

Your hair sat perfectly on you as you worked effortlessly on his car. How could someone look great while having such a, dirty job?

Billy paused for a while, “You’re good at this.”

You glanced up at him, startled by the unexpected compliment. But then you shrugged.

“Had to be. This town doesn’t exactly offer much else.”

Billy shifts, his cocky demeanor fading slightly.

“Tell me about it.” Billy added as he leaned against his car.

The garage falls into a quiet rhythm the hum of tools, the faint tapping of raindrops starting to hit the roof, and the occasional creak of the workbench as Billy leans against it.

After a while, Billy breaks the silence.

“You ever think about leaving? Like, just packing up and getting the hell out of here?”

You started to pause, glancing at Billy.

“Sure. All the time. But it’s not that simple, is it?” You said as you looked straight at him.

Billy meets your gaze, something vulnerable flickering in your eyes.

“No. It’s not.” Billy responded softly.

There’s a weight to his words, a quiet desperation that you recognize but doesn’t push. Instead, they offer a small, knowing smile and return to the task at hand.

“Well, if you ever figure out a way, let me know. I could use a ride out of here too.” You added as you chuckled.

Billy doesn’t respond right away, but the corner of his mouth twitches upward.

“Yeah. Maybe.” Billy said as he quieted down.

The moment lingers, and for the first time, Billy feels like someone understands what he’s been carrying.

—-

Over the past few days, Billy returns to the shop under the pretense of checking his car, though it's pretty clear he just wants an excuse to talk to you.

You're guys' conversations start out casual but then gradually start to turn more personal. And you start to notice that Billy begins to let his guard down. Which surprises' you.

The big bad boy starting to be vulnerable to you? And you guys aren't even friends..

The rain has grown heavier, pounding against the roof of the garage in a steady rhythm. You start wiping grease from your hands with a rag while Billy sits on the workbench, idly spinning a screwdriver in his fingers. The Camaro is still half-repaired, but the tools have been set aside for the night.

It is a Tuesday after school, and a storm started not too long ago.

“Guess you’re stuck here for a bit. That storm’s not letting up anytime soon.” You broke the ice as you glanced at the rain.

Billy leans back and faintly smirks. “What, you offering to babysit me now?”

You shrug, leaning against the counter “Just saying. Unless you wanna swim home, you might as well get comfortable.”

Billy chuckles softly, but it doesn’t carry the usual bite. For a moment, he just watches the rain, his expression uncharacteristically thoughtful.

“Y’know… sometimes I think about driving until I run out of gas. Just… keep going until I’m somewhere else.” Billy said quietly.

You start to study him, sensing the weight behind the words.

“What’s stopping you?”

Billy’s jaw tightens, and he looks away, gripping the edge of the bench.

“Neil.” Billy pauses, then adds bitterly, “And all the other crap tying me to this place.”

You decide not to push, recognizing the name as Billy’s stepfather. Instead, you let the silence stretch, giving Billy space to continue if he wants.

Billy broke the long pause

“It’s like… no matter how hard I try to get ahead, he’s always there to remind me I’m nothing.”

You cross the room and lean against the bench beside him, your shoulder just brushing Billy’s.

“You’re not nothing. He just wants you to believe that so you don’t fight back.” You said softly.

Billy looks at you sharply, his defenses rising instinctively, but you don't flinch. Your calm, steady gaze unnerves him in a way he doesn’t understand.

Billy scoffs.“What do you know about it?”

“More than you think.” You responded as you shrugged.

Billy opens his mouth to retort but stops himself. There’s something in your tone an unspoken understanding that keeps him from snapping back. Instead, he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Why are you even talking to me? Most people either hate me or keep their distance.”

You started to grin.“Maybe I’m not most people.”

Billy huffs a laugh, shaking his head, but the tension in his shoulders eases slightly.

“You’re weird.” Billy said muttering.

You started to smirk.

“Takes one to know one.”

The rain continues to fall, and for a moment, the only sound is the rhythmic drumming on the roof. You lean your head back against the wall, glancing sideways at Billy.

“You’re allowed to let your guard down, y’know. At least for a little while.” You spoke up gently.

Billy meets your gaze, something vulnerable flickering in his eyes. He wants to argue, to brush off the comment, but instead, he just nods slightly.

Billy decided to speak up, barely above a whisper. “Maybe.”

The moment hangs in the air, charged but quiet. Billy’s usual bravado is gone, replaced by something raw and real.

"Here." You said as took out something out of your jeans pockets. It was a pack of cigarettes. This catches Billy's attention as you also pull out a lighter.

As Billy watches you light the cigarette, he also watches as you press the cigarette to your lips. Making Billy feel something weird inside of him. It felt like his body was on fire. A fire that he could not put out.

His gaze starts to linger on you. There was a fleeting moment of unspoken attraction.

As the silence continues, Billy stares into your eyes as you stare into his pretty blue ones. You looked at Billy fondly as you puffed smoke out of your lips.

Billy then snatched the cigarette out of your hands, looking at your beautiful (color) eyes as he took a drag. This sudden movement catches you off guard, but in a good way. It felt like he set something off in you.

Your left hand goes and twirls in Billy's dirty blonde curls. Watching him take more drags on your cigarette, making you grin for a second.

The silence was loud, but it felt amazing.

--

The rain has slowed to a steady drizzle, but neither of them has made a move to leave the garage. Billy sits on the edge of the workbench, fiddling with a lighter he pulled from his jacket pocket. You lean against the counter across from him, arms crossed as you watch Billy with quiet curiosity.

You decide to break the silence. “So, what’s your plan? Gonna sit there all night, or are you actually gonna say what’s on your mind?”

Billy glances up sharply, the lighter snapping shut in his hand.

“Who says anything’s on my mind?”

“Your whole vibe, Hargrove. You’re like a radio stuck on static.” You said smirking faintly.

Billy huffs a laugh, shaking his head.

“You’re real funny, y’know that?”

You shrug “I try.”

There’s a beat of silence before Billy speaks again, his voice softer this time.

“It’s just… different, alright? Most people look at me and either hate my guts or try to get something out of me. But you? You don’t even flinch. Why?” Billy said as he looked at you, confused.

You start to tilt your head, studying him for a moment.

“Because I don’t think the guy you show everyone else is the real you. You’re just good at pretending.” You responded calmly.

Billy freezes, the lighter in his hand forgotten. He looks away, his jaw tightening.

Billy spoke up defensely. “You don’t know me.”

“No. But I want to.”

Billy’s head snaps back toward you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of mockery. But all he finds is quiet sincerity, and it throws him off balance.

Billy gruffed, “You’re crazy, you know that?”

This just made you grin in response.

“Probably.”

The tension between you too is palpable now, the air thick with unspoken words. Billy fidgets with the lighter again, his usual cocky demeanor slipping further away.

Billy started to hesitate.

“I don’t… I don’t know how to do this. The whole… opening up thing.”

You step closer, closing the space between the two of you. You lean against the workbench beside Billy, their shoulder brushing his.

“You don’t have to figure it out all at once. Just… start with what you’re feeling right now.” You added, gently.

Billy’s gaze drops to the floor, his fingers tightening around the lighter.

Billy responded quietly, “I feel like I’m falling apart. Like I’m trying so damn hard to hold everything together, but it’s never enough.”

You didn't say anything right away, letting Billy’s words hang in the air. Instead, you reach out and place a hand on his, stopping the nervous movement of the lighter.

“You’re stronger than you think, Billy. You just don’t have to do it alone anymore.” You said with a firm tone.

Billy’s breath catches, his usual mask cracking wide open. He turns to face you fully, his blue eyes flickering with a mix of uncertainty and something deeper.

Billy, almost whispered, “Why do you care?”

“Because I see you. The real you."

Billy saw you smile faintly.

The words hang between you two for a moment before Billy leans in, hesitating just inches away from you.

“Tell me to stop.” Billy said softly.

You met his gaze. “I’m not gonna.”

That’s all the permission Billy needs. He closes the gap, his lips crashing against you in a kiss that’s both desperate and tender. For a moment, the world outside the garage—the rain, the town, everything—fades away.

When you two pull back, Billy’s breathing is unsteady, his forehead resting against your own.

“You’re trouble, you know that?” Billy said quietly.

You just grinned at this.

“Takes one to know one.”

Billy laughs softly, his hand still lingering on theirs. For the first time in what feels like forever, he feels grounded.

---

Days have past and the rain has stopped, and the first hints of dawn are peeking over the horizon. The garage is quiet except for the occasional clink of tools as you finish tightening the last bolt on Billy’s Camaro. Billy leans against the car, watching them with an expression that’s unusually soft.

You, wiping your hands on a rag speaks up,

“Alright, she’s good to go. Don’t push her too hard, though. She’s not as indestructible as you think.”

“You talking about the car or me?”. Billy responded to you as he smirked.

You grinned.

“Both.”

Billy laughs, a sound that feels lighter than usual, and you can’t help but smile back. For a moment, the two of you just stand there, the silence comfortable.

“You didn’t have to do all this, y’know.” Billy said quietly as this catches you off guard but you shrug.

“Yeah, well, maybe I wanted to.”

Billy steps closer, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket.

“Why?” Billy said softly.

You paused for a moment, meeting his gaze.

“Because I think there’s more to you than what everyone sees. And because… I care about you, even if you think you don’t deserve it.”

Billy’s expression falters, vulnerability flickering across his face.

“You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.” Billy added as he almost whispered.

You reach out, brushing your fingers against his.

“Well, you’re gonna hear it again. And again. As many times as it takes.”

Billy exhales sharply, almost like a laugh, and squeezes their hand.

“You’re too good for me, you know that?” Billy said as he looked into your eyes, smiling. A genuine smile.

You grinned at this.

“You’re probably right. But I’m not going anywhere, so you’re stuck with me.”

Billy shakes his head, a small, genuine smile tugging at his lips.

“Guess I’ll have to make it worth your while, then.”

The Camaro gleams under the faint light of the garage as Billy pulls the keys from his pocket and tosses them in the air.

“C’mon. Get in.” Billy said smiling

You raised an eyebrow “What?”

“You said you wanted out of this town, right? Let’s go. Just for a drive.” Billy said as he stared right into your pretty eyes.

You start to hesitate for a moment, surprised by the offer, but then you smile and grab your jacket.

“Alright, but if your car breaks down again, you’re the one fixing it this time.”

Billy grinned. “Deal.”

You climb into the Camaro, the engine roaring to life as Billy revs it. You glance over at him, the streetlights reflecting in his eyes, and for the first time, Billy looks free.

As they pull out of the garage and onto the open road, the town fades into the background. The sky is painted with streaks of orange and pink, and the cool morning air rushes in through the windows.

You smiled, “Where are we going?”

Billy glanced over at you. “Anywhere but here.”

You lean back in the seat, the weight of the night lifting as they drive toward an uncertain future together.

---

Credits: my Billy border is made by me but the rose border is made by kodaswrld!! Go and support them🩷

[russellbee]

SIGNALS with LN4

lando norris x teammate!fwb!reader; nav+masterlist

(andi’s note!! a treat for you all while i work on my longer wips…)

The chandelier hanging from the sky high ceiling casts a warm glow around the event hall, and the classical music mixes in with the occasional clink of glasses. A waiter approaches you with a tray of champagne, which you gladly take. The older man in front of you — some CEO of an important company — has been going on and on about his car collection, and how maybe you should join him some time in his passenger seat. It’s hard not to gag or look visibly disgusted as he speaks. You drink — chug — your champagne as you look anywhere else.

Lando is standing with Zak, talking to some other CEO, who somehow looks creepier than the one you’re talking to. You catch his eye, and he smirks before tapping his finger against his glass; a signal you made when you first started doing…whatever you’re doing. It’s not dating, that you made clear in the beginning, but it feels more domestic than friends with benefits. You’ve spent too much time in his hotel rooms, just in his arms or passing time for it be “friends with benefits”. Somewhere in between the two, then.

“Sorry, I’ll be right back.” You smile at him sweetly, lacing your voice with excessive kindness so he doesn’t complain. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, like he knows he’s wasted his time. As you walk to the bathrooms, you place your empty glass on a random table. The hallway to the bathrooms is empty, and you slip into one of them quietly; leaving the door unlocked. A minute or two later, the door swings open and Lando walks in.

He locks the door behind him, grinning wide when he sees you. “I think I deserve a reward for saving you from that grandpa.” He rolls his eyes before continuing quietly, “Fuckin’ creep should be spending time with his grandkids instead of hitting on you.” You snort, walking over to where he still stands by the door.

“Don’t talk about him like that, he was sweet. We were planning on me going to his country estate for a drive in his Ferrari,” You tease, backing him against the door. “Ferrari? He’s a Mclaren sponsor and he can’t even have the decency to drive you around in a Mclaren. Idiot, honestly.” He sounds a little too serious for you to not laugh. You lean your head against his shoulder, laughing into the silky soft fabric of his suit jacket.

“You cannot be jealous of him, Lando. He is senile and married, dumbass. I prefer guys who can actually drive fast without worrying about their age affecting their reflexes.” When you look up, Lando’s face is screwed up in pout, slightly playful but also a little offended. “Which is you. You know that.”

“I’m your number one chauffeur, then?” He retorts, his pout replaced with a small smile. “Mmhm. And teammate, as the articles like to say, you love to tow me through quali.” Pure disgust takes over Lando’s (just slightly) love-sick look in a second.

“Nope, we’re not talking about those idiots right now. Or the old man, please.” He grabs you by the hips, spinning you so now you’re the one with your back against the door. After you catch your breath, you laugh, “What? You don’t want him to be our third?”

Lando stares at you for a second before leaning down, his lips hovering above yours as he whispers seriously, “Shut up.” Then, he kisses you, the taste of champagne still on his lips and his lavish cologne overflooding your senses. You groan against him as one of your hands slide up the back of his neck into his curls. The mullet has been a wonderful addition to his look, it’s hard not to love when it’s always there asking for you to pull it.

You push him away as you hear footsteps come down the hallway, and you quickly look at the lock on the door. It’s done, thank god. The door handle rattles, someone grumbles before they head back to the event hall, their footsteps trailing off. “Later,” You smile before kissing Lando gently on the cheek. “You did drive me here. So, you can drive me home, too.” The way Lando’s eyes light up is the last thing you see before you leave the bathroom.

Zak finds you quickly once you’re back in the main room. “Have you seen Lando? He’s supposed to be giving a speech with you soon.” You smile awkwardly and shake your head. “No, sorry. But he’s gotta be around somewhere, right?” Zak murmurs a quick agreement before moving through the crowd, looking around each group for him. A little lie that’ll save your reputation. You don’t need to be blasting your ‘relationship’ with your teammate.

[croxxbow13]

The Sweet One - Part One

Warnings: language, mentions of violence and mild adult thoughts.

Takes place during Alexandria era. Just some musings as you’re trying to adjust to this new, impossible way of life… and trying to make sense of Daryl’s intoxicating presence.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: Honestly, I’m not sure what this is. I just opened my notes app and just started putting words down. Will do a part 2 if theres any interest.

Please be gentle with me, its my first time.

(Part Two)

(Part Three)

-

It’d been three weeks since our group had stumbled into the walls of Alexandria, dirty, dehydrated and half starved.

Everyone had done the best they could to settle in, though it still felt like most of us were still holding our breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Places like this didn’t exist anymore.

At least, not for long.

We all slept in the same house, hell the same room for the first few nights, not wanting to let our guard down. The floor a patchwork of arms and legs and blankets, while the beds lay empty in their vaulted ceiling bedrooms.

After the things we’d experienced on the road, how could we not? Cannibals, rapist, psychopaths that tried to take us down, slaughtering their whole communities in the process without so much as a flicker of remorse.

I remember one night on the road, everyone sitting around the fire, Daryl said that the world really hadn’t changed all that much. People had always been shit. Now they were just more open about it. There was no reason they could see to keep those terrible things inside.

No reason to fear hell when we’re already there.

And now, to look into these strange smiling faces offering promises of food, walls, shelter… hot showers?

I stuck close to Carol for a while, trying to keep a low profile, putting on a nice face, but all the while keeping my ears tuned to the low whispers, the quiet conversations in adjoining rooms, listening, waiting for someone to slip up. To show the other side of the coin, but they never did.

It didn’t take long working in the small confines of the kitchen and pantry to feel like the walls were closing in on me. The daily droning of bored housewives going on about their ridiculous reasons to be at odds with their husbands, or gossiping about this person or that person… cackling together like a bunch of restless hens.

It reminded me too much of the old world. And I’d rather use an ice pick as a q-tip.

But thankfully, after some convincing - and maybe a little bit of begging - Aaron finally agreed to let me help with scavenging. He said that he, Daryl, Glenn and a few of the Alexandrians were going to be checking out a warehouse tomorrow a few towns over. Something about an old cargo depot.

I couldn’t give a shit less, as long as it gets me outside these walls for a little while.

I never thought it would be hard to transition back into some semblance of normalcy… but I feel like we’re all just kind of playing house. The people in this community have just as many dirty secrets as the people out there. The only difference is theirs is hidden behind neatly manicured hedges and eggshell tinted semi-gloss paint.

-

I’m sitting on the steps of Carol’s house when she returns home from another’s day work.

I say Carol’s house, but I guess it’s also mine and also Daryl’s. Though I’m pretty sure his residence here was just a given whereas I actually asked Carol if she minded that I stayed here.

Rick and Michonne have their whole family dynamic thing going on with Carl and Judith, so I would just feel like a fifth wheel.

Abraham and Rosita had room… but after being on the road with them and realizing how obnoxiously loud they are during sex… and don’t even get me started with fucking Eugene. I swear to God, when he starts rambling off at the mouth with his overinflated self importance. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve imagined cutting off that ratty ass mullet and gagging him with it. My luck though that would just add more material to his mental spank bank that he would recall as he’s beatin’ one out watching his compadres going at it.

I hate that I think about these things, and I hate that I have a vivid imagination because I immediately feel the bile rise in my throat, taste the acidic disgust on the back of my tongue.

I must’ve made a face because Carol stops and looks at me before she makes it to the steps.

“Well I’m glad to see you too.” She says, fighting back a sarcastic laugh.

I shake my head, trying to be reassuring while I’m still fighting the churn of my stomach.

“I’m sorry, just been a long day.” I say, giving her a lopsided smile. She puts a steadying hand on my knee as she swings around and takes the space on the step beside me.

She unbuttons her muted green sweater, or should I say her chosen costume of the day, and pushes up the sleeves. Usually she waits until she’s made it into the front door before she goes through her “becoming Carol” ritual that Daryl and I tease her about most nights.

We give her shit, but I gotta give it to her. She’s smart.

Seeing her now, It’s crazy to think of the transformation she’s undergone since I first met her back at the quarry. Back then she was so… small. And quiet. And just scared all the time. And I get it. Being beaten day in and day out by the person who should be your biggest sense of security will do that to you. Hell, the end of the world was probably the best thing that ever happened to her.

Daryl, too. Granted, he doesn’t talk much about his life before. But from witnessing his toxic ass relationship with his brother, I can only imagine that home for him was never really much of a home. And I’ve seen the scars. At least some of them. He didn’t get those from learning to ride a bike.

Dad was probably a drinker with no outlet for his anger. And Merle was probably old enough and big enough to at least get away from him eventually. I don’t know how much younger Daryl is, or was than Merle. But if I had to guess there was probably a solid 10 years that Daryl would’ve had to fend for himself. And Merle said it…

He was always the sweet one, my baby brother…

It’d made me so angry how he had said it so condescendingly. Like it was something to be shameful about. Like it was a weakness that should be hidden away. Because “real” men don’t show emotion.

Fuck him. I’ve literally watched Daryl rip out vocal cords with his bare fucking hands. And his arms… jesus christ, his arms.

Apparently I just sighed because now Carol has turned her attention towards me again. I clear my throat brushing non-existent dirt off the knees of my jeans.

“Want me to start on dinner?” I ask her, hoping the flush I feel creeping up my neck isn’t obvious.

She gives me a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“It’s ok, I ate a little something before I left work. Daryl might be hungry when he gets in though, if you’re wanting to make something. I think we’ve still got stuff for some spaghetti.”

And then as if conjured up from the depths, Daryl turns onto the street from the way of the front gate, the sounds of his boots thudding lightly against the pavement.

Daryl didn’t walk, it was more a saunter if anything. That one hand always gripping the strap of his crossbow that laid across his chest, the other swinging by his side, always a little wider than necessary.

I wonder sometimes if he’s aware of how much space he takes up at any given moment. Though I could never bring myself to ask him, because then he’d want to know what I meant. And I had no intention of letting him know how small he made rooms feel when I’m in one with him.

He’d probably take it the wrong way and go brood in the woods for a few days.

That sweet baby brother.

I’m self admittedly pretty terrible at recognizing when someone’s flirting with me.

But Daryl… Daryl. Fucking. Dixon. Takes the cake with that one.

At times I wonder if he’s actually had any kind of intimate interaction whatsoever. And, oh to have been a fly on the wall…

Doesn’t mean I can’t try though, right?

I mean, it can’t be completely one sided. I’ve caught him stealing glances when he thinks he’s out of my line of sight. I mean, christ, we live in the same house together.

And god so help me, for as long as I live I will never forget the look on his face when I came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel because he’d come back from a run early. I had my face down, trying to towel dry the rest of my hair and he rounded the corner as I was stepping into the hallway and I basically face planted his chest. It took him about three syllables worth of his sentence, his hands gripping my arms to keep me from stumbling backwards, before he realized that that single layer of cotton that hit just a little too high on my thighs was the only thing saving us from an even more awkward situation.

His eyes went wide as he’d snatched his hands away like he’d been burned. And the color that immediately flushed his cheeks made me want to sink my teeth into the vein that pulsed too quickly in the side of his throat as he dropped his head and retreated out the front door.

Damn… Im starting to sound like one of them.

“Perfect timing! Your ears must’ve been burning!” Carol’s chipper tone pulls me once again from my thoughts, though this time it’s not as welcome. Daryl’s boots scuff against the sidewalk as he comes to a stop in front of us.

“What d’ya mean?” He says, his voice gruff as his gaze bounces between the two of us. I’m still fighting off visuals of lips and teeth and tongues, so I just raise my eyebrows and shake my head, doing my best to avoid meeting his eyes.

“We were talking about dinner, you hungry?” Thanks, Carol.

Daryl shakes his head and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “Nah. Not really.”

“Alright, well I’m going to go shower, that way you can get yours whenever you get ready.” Carol stood and turned for the door, giving me a small pat on the shoulder as she crossed the porch and disappeared into the house.

I looked at him then, and thankfully his attention was somewhere down the street.

The sharp orange streaks of light from the setting sun highlighted the beads of sweat on his brow, and judging by the dirt that clung to his arms and clothes, they’d had an eventful day.

Good. He always seemed to be in a better mood those days.

He was chewing on his bottom lip, as he always did when he was working a thought over in his mind. And I figure its as good a time as any to snap him out of it. Before he turns and I’m just staring at him like a fucking weirdo.

“Aaron’s letting me come with you guys tomorrow. Said that it’d be a good time for me to come along and see how you guys work together.”

He nodded slowly before he turned his eyes to me. “Yeah, he told me.” He slid his crossbow over his head and leaned it against the step railings before sitting down on the landing next to me.

And true enough, it now felt half the size as when Carol was sitting there.

“It’ll be good for ya,” he said, pulling at a string that hung loose on his glove. “Get out there an outta here for a while.” As he said it, his eyes scanned the other houses in the neighborhood… still looking for the cracks. For the slip of the stage props.

Maybe we’re not so different.

My eyes follow his gaze. And when I speak, it’s lower… only meant for us.

“You’re still looking for it too.” I say. It’s not a question. He turns his head and looks at me now. The dirt smudge across his cheek brings out the blue in his eyes.

His response is more of a grunt than a word. He wants to know what I’m talking about. Even though he already knows what I’m talking about. He just wants to hear me say it.

“You’re looking for the strings. For the wizard behind the curtain. This place can’t be as perfect as it looks from the outside. There’s something… there’s gotta be.”

He slowly nods and I know that he’s starting to realize the same thing…

Maybe we’re not so different.

The sun has finally dipped below the horizon. I can only tell because that first faintly cool breeze that precedes the darkness is creeping between the houses now. And thanks to it, I’m now aware of the heat I feel radiating off of him. I didn’t realize that my arm was that close to his. Even through his jeans I can feel the warmth of his legs on the steps beside mine.

Why are my fucking ears hot?

And why do I have to fight the urge to lean over and lick the sweat off his neck.

Can you imagine the look on his face?

Stop. Stop.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I need to get up and go inside before I embarrass myself and just have to go knock on the door of the love nest and ask if I can big spoon Eugene.

Fuck that.

And then he bumps his shoulder against mine and suddenly I have no escape plan. I actually don’t plan on going anywhere. I actually would probably have to be pried off this step.

“Come on, we’ve got an early day tomorrow.” He says, and I can feel the words vibrate through my chest. He stands and grabs his crossbow, but he doesn’t sling it across his back like he usually does. He just holds it by his side, stretching out his other hand to offer me help up.

Sweet little baby brother

Naturally I go against my better judgment. Of course I do. I reach up and grab his hand and with little effort, he hauls me up and I’m now even more aware of how effortless he could just pick me up and snap me in half.

Or pin me against a wall.

Stop.

We’re toe to toe, though on different steps, which only adds to the way he’s towering over me. But I can feel his warmth. I can smell the sweet tanginess of his sweat that’s saturated his shirt. The earthy smell of the dirt.

He takes a step back, which part of me is thankful for. As I should be.

I know that if I ever genuinely made a pass at him. And it wasn’t reciprocated, things would probably never be the same between us. I wouldn’t be able to look at him. And he would probably never put himself in a position to be within arms reach of me again. Be it from fear or embarrassment or just the typical, awkward Daryl.

And I don’t want that.

But god damned, I want him.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

(Read part 2 here)

[psychedelic-pebble]

Idk if this is weird to ask but

your thoughts on Mullet Stanley nsfw where the reader is super shy and inexperienced, and despite being rough around the edges he’s very sweet and patient with them? (I love your writing so much I’ve never asked anything before I hope I’m doing this right)

i’m not gonna lie, this ask had me kicking my feet a little bit. even though i’m more of a Stanford guy, i gotta show some love to Stanley too <33 especially Mullet Stanley. he’s just so hhbbbbbhbb. anyways!! here’s some headcanons for ya and my thoughts!! thank you for your ask!!

Mullet!Stanley x Shy/Inexperienced Reader HCS!!

Warnings: NSFW Content - MDNI.

Pairing(s): Mullet!Stanley x GN!Reader

Despite his cocky outward persona, he’s very nervous that he’s going to hurt you in some way.

He’s surprisingly gentle with you, giving you feather light touches at first as if he was scared to touch you too roughly.

If you get nervous he’ll instantly try to reassure you or back off. No matter how badly he wants you, your comfort and safety come first. If there’s anything you don’t like, he’ll avoid it like the plague.

Tell him to stop doing something and he will. He takes it slow with you, making sure everything he’s doing makes you feel good.

He loves you with all his heart, so he doesn’t mind taking things slowly. He’s not going to risk doing anything wrong and accidentally pushing you away.

It is SO hard for him to keep his composure. He’s all talk, once you reciprocate he will fluster very easily. Even if you’re shy and nervous, the way you blush and smile at him makes his heart melt.

He doesn’t mind your inexperience. If anything, he thinks it’s endearing that he’s the one that gets to see what you like and find out alongside you.

He’s unexpectedly sweet and patient, which makes you feel all the more special. He’d encourage you to go at your own pace, take your time and do what feels comfortable.

Once you actually get to the point where you’re fucking, he’s a mess. He buries his head in your shoulder to muffle the embarrassing noises he’s making, and also to whisper sweet nothings to you.

“You’re doing so well” or “So pretty for me” are things frequently said by him (among others).

His hands borderline hover above your waist, scared he’s going to grip too hard.

The last thing he wants is to fuck up and hurt you. His worst fear is that you’re going to throw him out like everyone he loved always had.

He’s absolutely enamored with you, every sound and gasp you make makes him feel a little bit like he’s losing his mind. He’d do anything to hear those pretty little noises again.

Overall I love the idea of him being so sweet and encouraging despite being rough around the edges and I feel like it’s very in character. He’s so lovable. Someone give this man a hug.

[baalzebufo]

oh yeah... redrew my older pines designs + also gideon is here because I like him and will inflict him on everyone. probably in their early 20s here, I didnt think too hard about the specifics. also some headcanons

dipper started testosterone finally so he's got the classic 'shitty little puberty stache' and also hes breaking out w acne bit. wears a lot of denim on denim. him and wendy swap hats every summer its their tradition. he has a bomber jacket with lots of alien and cryptid patches. sometimes he has kind of a mullet going on

mabel regularly chops all her hair off in the mirror with some scissors whenever the impulse hits so at any given point of her life it can be either waist-length or a buzzcut. she got into making kandi and has a bunch of themed cuffs. rhinestones. sparkles. thats a tamagotchi necklace

gideon has embraced his inner cowboy and got some riding chaps ostensibly because he has a motorcycle now but also because he thinks he looks cool. his bolo tie is a replica of his old cursed variant because fiddling with it is a comfort to him. hes got a custom leather jacket with his star embroidered on the back

hes also so tall because. well honestly my headcanon is he has an insane growth spurt in his teens. have you SEEN bud gleeful? he's huge. hes got Big Dude Genes. also honestly i just think its funny if he goes from being knee-high to 6 feet tall in the space of like, 6 months.

(i was gonna add other characters to this but i got distracted so thats for another time)

[thalfbloodloser]

i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)

a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...

anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.

let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.

give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")

but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.

...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)

(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)

[insomniamamma]

The Second Kind: Kermit (snl) x F!reader

A/N: I'm going to start by blaming @oonajaeadira for this one. I bounced head cannons at her and she provided encouragement. We had a good laugh and then I was like fuck it I'm writing the fic. Reader is back where she grew up for an annual family reunion. This is pure silliness that got surprisingly emotional. Woody Harrelson's character is named Scooter. This is the silliest thing I've ever written and I had a fucking blast. Also a FLIR is a type of thermal imagine camera that used by UFO people and ghost hunters.

Warnings: Ugly family dynamics. Politics. One use of "Libtard" (not from Kerm or Scoots). A whole UFO sighting and the terror that implies. Anxiety. A bit of panic. Alcohol consumption.

You knew things would turn ugly. But you still showed up. For your younger cousins if nothing else. The family reunion has felt less like a fun occasion and more like an obligation lately. Doesn’t help that your grandparents and uncles have let Tucker Carlson and Fox News and Twitter hollow them out from the inside.

Everybody’s been cordial so far, but now the sun is down and the fire is bright and the beer is flowing and Uncle Mike starts his usual spiel about how those dirty foreigners are taking jobs from good hard working Americans. You feel your neck start to stiffen, your jaw start to tighten up, knowing that Mike’s got enough liquid courage on board to recite a sermon’s worth of Project 2025 talking points with a heaping helping of Qanon horseshit. Your Aunt Jennie downs her beer in a series of convulsive swallows and grabs another, you can see the vein pulsing at her temple even in the flickering fire’s glow, just waiting for Mike to pause for breath so she can go off. You know what’s going to happen, what’s happened at every reunion since 2016, MAGAts vs Libtards, everyone buzzed and yelling, and then tomorrow everyone will wake up sore from sleeping on the ground, eat breakfast and play softball in the big open field behind the row of tents, and act like nothing happened.

Christ, you’re tired of it. You grab a beer from the cooler and wander out into the field that borders the campsite. You’ll all play softball tomorrow, even though you’re dogshit at it, pick a place in the outfield and hope nothing comes your way. But for now the darkness is inviting and wide, but you’re not alone in it. Two men hunker over their phones, red light reflected up into their faces.

“Fuckin Starlink train, there must’ve been a launch.” “How many of those thing’s’re they gonna put up there?” “Fuck if I know, They launch, what, like every three days? The newer ones are s’posed to be low albedo but I’ll believe it when I see it.” “Haven’t they been de-orbitin them lately?” “I hear shit, don’t know if it’s true or just more fucking disinfo-or” These two, and their muted conversation seem way more interesting that the impending argument back at the campsite, same miserable script recycled from 2016. “You guys stargazing?” “Jesus!” says Mullet, pressing a hand to his chest. “Watchu sneaking up on us for girlie?,” says Beanie, “Kerm’s got that, fuck is it? Generalized Anxiety Disorder and—“ You flinch back and Mullet flaps a dismissive hand at Beanie. “’S’okay, Scoots, I’m good. She just startled me, that’s all. And yeah, we’re lookin at the stars. Mostly.” “Mostly?” “You been livin under a rock or somethin?,” says Beanie, no wait, Scoots? Scooter, like the muppet? “She’s not from around here,” says Mullet, “She’s with that big family reunion that comes around third weekend in July.” He raises the binoculars to his face. “She sure sounds like she’s from around here,” “She is standing right here,” you say, “And she grew up two exits down route 17 from here. Keep coming back for some dumbass reason.” You convulsively swallow half of your rapidly warming beer. “Aw shit,” says Scoots, “Didn’t mean nothin—“ “It’s fine,” you say, “My aunt and uncle are going to scream at each other about politics and everyone is going to get mad, and I’m just fucking tired, you know?” “That’s rough, man,” says Kerm, “Families suck sometimes.” “Politics,” says Scoots, “Don’t matter who’s in charge. Me and Kerm’ve got bigger fish to fry. There’s a meeting about the sightings Sunday at the fire hall. We get some good footage we can report that shit to MUFON.“ “Wait? Sightings? Like aliens—“

“Hey!” Says Kerm, “Got somethin,” and he points up into the black, while Scoots fumbles his phone, narrow your eyes and see something twinkling against the deep velvet of the night sky, grab your phone out of your pocket, just in case, “What’m I lookin at?” “Gimme a sec—oh shit—weather sat—“ “Crap.” “S’okay man, the night is young, Kermit. We got all the time in the world,” says Scoots, presses a cold can of beer into your hand and tosses one to Kerm who catches it one handed, glaring up at the sky, “Kermit?” “He is my eye in the sky,” says Scoots,”He got them eagle eyes, man.” “Your name’s Kermit?” “No?” He rubs at the back of his neck, “Well, it’s uh, complicated-“ “It’s not complicated. This dude sang Rainbow Connection in the fifth grade talent show and he’s been Kermit ever since.” “Can you excuse us for a moment? I need to have a word with Scooter here. There’s plenty of beers in the cooler-“ “What, man? What?” “Come here, Scooter.” He slings an arm around his buddy’s shoulder, “We’ll just be a minute, won’t we?” Kermit hauls his friend a few paces away and silent laughter shakes your shoulders. This is way more fun than listening to your family split along party lines and start yelling over each other. Cold beer and bright stars and the whisper-shouts of your new pals somewhere off behind you. “Why’re you tellin on me like that?” “She’s cool with the fucking aliens, man, I don’t think the muppets are gonna be a deal breaker, dude-“ You stifle a laugh, and admire the broad sky above, the stars look like sugar spilled on velvet, faint glow of the Milky Way threaded through the background. I’m gonna go stargazing when I go back home, you think, I’ve missed this, you think, remember sneaking cigarettes at the end of the driveway of the house you grew up in and peering up into that big black night, home for Christmas break and the stars seemed to vibrate in the cold. Stars don’t twinkle when seen from space, know that from some sci-fi book, something about light lensing through the atmosphere. Crane your neck up and take it all in, but then you notice something, an absence of stars, poking up from the top of the hill across the way. “Still. How’d you like it if I told her why everyone calls you Scooter?” “Now that ain’t fair. We were in kindygarden--“

“Uh…guys? Is this normal?” “What?” “Where?” “Right there,” you say and point up into the dark, “See the notch where the powerlines run? Start there and look up! It looks like something in front of the stars, doesn’t it?” “Oh shit.” “Get the FLIR,” says Kermit, “Get your phone out, honey, we’ve got to document this—“ “What’s a FLIR?” “Shh,” says Scoots,”We live, Kerm?” “Yeah, just make sure you’re recording.” You’re not sure if Kermit is talking to you or Scoots or both so you pull out your phone and start recording, a symmetrical spike of darkness rising out of the trees like a star destroyer. “What the fuck—“ “My name is James Pedro Martinez, and we are recording this footage at 12:55 am local time at Rudy’s Camp and Mini-golf.” “Heck yeah we are,” says Scoots. “What the fuck IS that thing—“ “I’m here with Thomas ‘Scooter’ MacIntyre. He’s filming with the FLIR and, uh—“ You say your name without even thinking it, the darkness keeps rising, keeps spreading across the sky, and you start to feel the hairs on the back of neck and arms prickle up, sick pulse in your belly, low vibration just on the edge of your hearing, feel it in the soles of your feet, in your teeth— “We’re getting some pretty heavy infrasound- phone probably won’t pick it up but we’re definitely feeling the effects! How’s the FLIR—“ “White hot! Their material science must be off the fuckin chain man! Anything we make would be visibly glowing if it got this hot—“ “Look!” The the field is bathed in sizzling red light that reminds you of road flares, one light at each corner of the craft that blocks out the whole damn sky, and a fourth pulsing on and off in a slow throb-- “Oh shit! That’s the drive powerin up—“ and the hum in your ears, in your teeth, in your chest ramps up, your eyeballs seem to vibrate in their sockets, and then nothing. The black shape, the nauseating hum is gone like it never was. Nothing but shimmering stars and muted, if angry conversation from your family’s campsite. “Did you see that?” Scooter runs around you and Kerm in a delirious loop, “Did you SEE that? DID YOU FUCKIN SEE THAT???? WOOOOO!!!!” He does two and two thirds cartwheels and splats flat on his back in the grass like he means to make a snow angel. “I saw!,” you say, “I fuckin saw it! What the fucking fu-“ and then your legs give out from under you like they’ve been switched off, plant yourself with a soft oof of exhaled breath and Kermit is right there hunkered in the crabgrass with you, big warm hands gripping your shoulders, keeping you upright. “It’s okay,” he says, “I know it’s a lot. Being your first time and all.” You look up at Kermit’s earnest face picked out in starlight, his big, wide eyes, twitch of his mustache as he worries at his lip. You laugh. You can’t help yourself, laugh and feel tears slide out, hear the screamy edge to your voice— “Ah, shit, she’s hysterical-“ “She ain’t hysterical! That’s fuckin sexist, Scoots, we talked about this-“ “My bad, sister,” Scooter slaps a cold can into your hand, “Drink that up. And take some nice deep breaths through your nose. It’ll help. Infrasound’s messing with you is all.” You pop the can open and drink. Scooter plops down by Kermit, their faces pinched in the light of Kerm’s phone, his arm stays draped warm over your shoulders.

“Oh this is good, this is REAL good-“ “Good enough for MUFON?” “This is good enough to get us on Coast--“ “Shh!” “What-“ “They’re still arguing.” “Huh?” “Back there. By the fire. They’re still arguing. Listen.” Kermit giggles and then presses his hand over his mouth. —it’s transGENIC not transgender you stupid fuck! 300 year olds aren’t collecting social security, Elon’s 4-chan flying monkeys don’t understand COBOL—what the fuck is a COBOL? Exactly. “We just had a flyover from Spaceball One and they didn’t even fucking notice!” “Hail Scroob,” says Scooter, and those weird screamy laughs try to bubble up again and Kermit gives your shoulder a squeeze, “You where filming too, right?” “Oh, yeah,” you frown, “I think so? Shit, I don’t know. I felt that in my teeth!” You paw through the damp grass for you phone, “In my fucking fillings-oh here we are!” You wipe the dew and dirt on your pants and type in your password, fuck it up because your hands are shaking, shit! Fuck! I’ve only got two more tries and then- “Here,” says Kermit, holding out his hand, “What’s your password, honey?” “He aint gonna scam you,” says Scoots, “Kerm’s an upright dude.” Put your phone into his waiting hand and lean in close to tell him the numbers. “I got you. Here. Let’s see.” You open your camera roll and scroll down. Scooter leans over your shoulder so he can see. “There’s a lotta shake,” says Scooter. “No shit there’s a lot of shake! This might be fuckin Tuesday for you guys but this is my first close encounter of the third kind-“ “Second kind, technically-“ “Dang it, Scoots, I’m tryin to hear this. Can you run it back a little? Make sure your sound’s up?” You do as he asks and Scooter manages to stay quiet, the jitter of sick cherry red lights, mishmash of your voices— scooter macyntire filming with the FLIR- and your own voice in a stream of muted obscenities, what the fuck, what the FUCK, what the fuck IS THAT? “Sorry.” “No,” says Kermit, “This is great. This just backs us up! We could go viral!” “We could go viral,” says Scooter, “You need to get a hard copy though. Physical back up.” “Oh. Right. Would you be okay with that? Coming back to my campsite? I mean, not for anything like that, just for me downloading the footage. Not to say that I wouldn’t, you’re real pretty and all, but this is serious shit here.” “You’re making it weird Kerm,” says Scooter, packing up his FLIR camera and cooler, “I gotta go. Kayleigh’s singing with the choir tomorrow. If I’m late Barbara will tear me a splendid new asshole.” “Give K-Monster a hug for me, yeah?” “Sure thing brother. And don’t you worry. Kerm’s not gonna serial kill you or anything.”

“Jesus,” says Kermit, and you laugh, “I promise I’m not trying to make things weird.” As you draw closer to the lights from camp, fire glow and yellow lights on the cabins washing out the stars, you get your first real good look at him, those deep dark eyes so worried. “We just saw a fucking actual UFO and you’re worried about making things weird? I think that ship has sailed, or blasted off or something. ” He starts giggling, and you do too, can’t help it. His laugh is infectious and wheezing, eyes crunched into delighted crescents, and you end up leaning in to each other as walk, arm in arm like a couple of drunks stumbling home from a bar. “If this is the meet cute what’s the first date like?” “Something with less mosquitos for one,” says Kermit, and you laugh until tears squirt out of the corners of your eyes, but then the peals of laughter turn to choked sobs in your throat sounds an animal might make, sounds that have nothing to do with you at all, prickling metal taste in the back of your throat, low pulsing and somehow bright feeling in your gut, and Kermit takes your hands, folds them up in his and lightly squeezes. “Breathe, honey,” He presses your hands against his sternum, hammer of his heart transmitted through his faded Queensryche t-shirt and into your palms, “In through your nose and out through your mouth like Scoots said. Breathe with me.” You close your eyes and focus on the inhale and exhale, the thump of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, “You’re havin a panic attack. It’ll pass. You got this.” You're not sure how long you stand in the bug-struck dark, his hands cupped over yours, matching your breath with his. Eventually that spike in your gut, that sensation of being about to fall fades enough that you can take a step back, draw your hands away and swipe at your leaking eyes. “Guess I’m the one who made it weird, huh,” “Nah, we just saw some crazy shit, that’s all,” says Kermit, “First time I ever saw the lights I went home and sat at my kitchen table and cried. I wasn’t even sad, really, it was just a lot, you know? Scared the heck out of my cat. Oh crap! You’re not allergic are you?” “No.”

“This is me,” he says, leads you to an old RV with a deck built up around the door, geraniums and petunias in terra cotta pots. “You stay here year round?” “Yeah, it ain’t much, but it’s mine. I help Gail and Rudy out with maintenance and such, man the camp store for em when it gets busy. They’re getting up there, you know?” “Yeah,” you say, “Always thought Jay Jay would take over for them.” “Jay Jay left years ago,” says Kermit, “Comes home for Christmas and Easter and that’s it.” You think of all the third weekends in July spent here like clockwork, when the reunion was about seeing who could eat the most hot dogs and playing Marco Polo in the pool with the cousins, penny poker and hearts with your uncles, sticky koolaid faces and dirty knees and grubby hands and scary stories told in the tent while the adults stayed up late by the fire. Before everything got angry and broken. The idea that this place might disappear or become something else seems unfathomable. “Hey, you good?” Kerm’s holding the door open for you, “If you don’t want to come in it’s okay, I can just grab your phone for a minute—“ You shake your head. “It’s fine,” you say, “Just got lost in my own head for a second there.” “Happens to me all the time,” he says, “C’mon in.”

Kermit’s trailer is cozy and tidy and not what you expected from him at all, red and white checkered curtains hang above the windows, a beaded curtain divides what you assume to be the bedroom from the rest, the front bunk beds yanked out and replaced with a computer desk and hand-built bookshelves, loaded with battered sci-fi paperbacks, Larry Niven, Robert Heinlein, C.J. Cherryh. A small wooden rack of tiny souvenir spoons hangs by the door, the kind you find in truck stops and airports. “It’s gonna take a minute for this to boot up,” says Kerm, “There’s beers in the fridge if you want. I gotta get some more ram for this fuckin thing-“ Clicks the mouse fruitlessly while watching the loading screen. You go for the fridge and notice crayon drawings pinned by fruit shaped magnets, a school picture of a grinning girl with missing teeth and blond pigtails. “This your daughter?” “Nah, that’s Kayleigh,” he smiles, “Barb and Scoots’s little girl.” “Oh! K-Monster,” “Yeah, she’s smart as a whip! Gets that from her Mama.” His smile turns a bit devilish and you laugh, “I watch her couple times a month so Barb and Scoots can do date nights and stuff.” “You get to be the fun uncle,” “I do! Took her to see Inside Out last Saturday, they do a summer kids series at Crystal City. Bing-Bong, man, I wasn’t ready— Oh heck! We’re up! Here! Sit! I don’t want to go poking through your camera roll unsupervised.”

He stands and offers you his chair, reaches around you to click at the mouse and open a new window and you are suddenly very aware of him, close enough that you can feel the warmth of him, the fan of his breath ghosting the top of your head, low murmured christ this thing is slow, I really gotta- the small space the proximity and you feel like you should be nervous, in a strange man’s home, letting him access your phone, but you’re not, and then the thumbnails fill in like blinking open eyes, and suddenly there’s a prickly weight in your lap, a meow that sounds like it needs wd-40 and a pair of irritated green eyes, little tabby with a ruddy blaze. “Sorry,” says Kerm, “That’s Poppy. She’ll settle down and stop yelling if you pet her.” Poppy turns delirious stabby circles in your lap before settling down, purring like an idling semi. You absently scritch her ears while the cursor turns to a spinning pinwheel. “Found her eating expired hotdogs out of the dumpster behind the store. Gail’s allergic and I’m a sucker so-alright! Let’s take a look!” You and Kermit watch the weirdest two minutes of your life play out, your quavering voice and jittering bloody light like embers or cigarette ends, pulsing slow at first and then flickering and brightening -that’s the drive powerin up, and then everything whites out, a rustle and thump and Scooter’s muted voice Did you SEE THAT??? “Crap. I must’ve dropped it. Sorry.” “No, you did real good! You got our voices! We’ll be able to match up time stamps! This backs up me and Scoots! It’s even better that we don’t really know each other all that well! No one can say we staged it, you know?” Kermit wriggles like an excited child, smiling bright and huge, dimples sunk into his scruffy cheeks “This is so fucking cool!” He says. “Yeah, it really is, we saw a fucking spaceship! Like a real one! Like some Battlestar Galactica shit!” “Heck yeah we did!” His face falls, “I hated that last season though. It just felt kinda tacked on.” He rummages around and plugs a thumb drive into the front of the PC tower, “I’m gonna give you a hard copy. Your video and mine.” “You could just send me the video—“ “Uh-uh. Scoots’d’be real mad. I’d never hear the end of it. You gonna be in town for a minute? I’d like to give you a hard copy of the FLIR footage, but Kayleigh’s got that concert so we probably won’t be able to get together until the afternoon—“ “I’ve got to go home after the softball game,” you say, “I’ve got to get some rest before work.” “That’s a bummer,” says Kermit, presses the thumb drive into your palm, “Scooter’s talking about setting up a Discord, you know for other folks around here who’ve seen the lights. We can keep in touch that way. If you’re good with that. I put my number in your contacts, but you can delete it if you want. I’m not sure how comfortable you are with this whole thing? I mean, if you just wanna go home and forget all about it, I understand.” He hands you your phone and you open it. “Kermit” James Martinez. You send him a smile emoji and hear his phone ding.

“I’d like you to send me that discord link, James. I’d like to know if anything else happens with this?” “Really?” “Really,” You frown, noting the time, it’s nearly 3am and you’ve got to participate in the family softball game without being too hungover or else the teatotaling relatives will judge you, and then seven hours of boring interstate ahead of you, “I should head back. They’re probably drunk enough to be past yelling at each other by now. Everyone gets worked up and then after enough beers they decide that everything’s fine actually. Sorry, my family’s weird.” You shoo Poppy off your lap, now thoroughly coated in cat hair. “I know how that goes,” he says, “I think sometimes you gotta find your own family. Like me and Scoots and K-monster and Barb are family even though we’re not related at all.” He opens the door for you and you stand on his deck, soft glow of the Christmas lights that hang off the RV’s awning. “Hey, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but you need to be nice to yourself for the next couple days.” His big hands enfold yours, “Don’t make any big life changes, you know? First time we saw the lights, Scoots went on a bender and almost trashed his marriage. Its weird but it’s not worth wrecking your life over, you know?” Your first impulse is to laugh, not much of a life to wreck but he seems so worried, those soft brown eyes fixed on yours, pads of his thumbs brushing over your knuckles, your second impulse is to burst into tears, and some of this must come through on your face because suddenly you are enfolded, tucked into the join of Kermit’s neck and shoulder, arm banded tight around your upper body, broad palm cupping the back of your head--

"Hey no no no you’re okay, you’re okay, baby, you’re okay, it’s a lot, I know."

He smells a bit like sunscreen and a bit like Deep Woods Off and a bit like beer and sweat, but he’s warm and solid and here and you feel tears leaking out of your eyes, and you know this is some visceral reaction to everything that’s happened, you know it’s just your body rejecting the field lit up in red and the stars blacked out, and that horrible sound that built and built and vibrated in your bones but knowing doesn’t stop the tears. Or the snot.

"You’re okay. you’ve got his, okay? Breathe with me. Just like before. You’ve got this." "I got snot on your shirt." "It’s okay, he says, snot washes off. This shirt’s seen better days anyway. Can you so something for me?” He steps back and holds you at arms length, hands on your shoulders. You wipe your eyes on the sleeve of your hoodie. “Do what?” “Can you text me when you get back to your house? So I know you made it there safe? I know you got a big trip and you’ve just had a real big shock and you don’t ever need to talk to me again if you don’t want to-“ And maybe it’s that big shock having its say when you lean in and kiss his scruffy cheek, “Oh,” he says, and presses his hand there, “Oh gosh.” “I’ll text you when I get home.” “Yeah,”he says, “Yeah that would be great.”

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

out of pocket horny micro kink guy here. glad you liked it im an insane person. and yes you can absolutely add it to your fic i think i would die for real

i could talk for hours about stan and tiny ford leaning more and more into a very gentle 24/7 D/s relationship. Bc your au is making me crazy and im so starved for micro gf content. i have no idea why there's not more of it when they literally get small in multiple episodes!!!! the plot devices are right there!!

and id also like to offer for your consideration, old ford and tiny mullet stan. old ford being protective and possessive and so so soft w him.....

to anyone wondering, its this ask!!

and GOD YEAH especially on the 24h D/s relationship they have rhis way, ford either being totally pliant for once in his life to appease stan or acting like a little (hah) brat for stan to try to control back, all excarbated by their size difference and how for the first time since they were teens, stan actually has an advantage over ford again (and thats hot af dhdbrurndi)

and also anon THANK YOU FOR LOVING THE AU. gotta admit im shocked people liked it sm, i didnt know everyone had such a micro/macro kink here dhdbdubddu

and youre SO right on how theres really not enough micro/macro gf content which is CRAZY. did little dipper mean nothing to us freaks?? or ddamd (there IS a really hot fic for it tho dhdbuen)?? how about a little mindscape shenanigans where they can literally imagine anything to be real— that has way more than just micro/macro potential but you know what i mean lmao

tbh even us freaks dont utilize a lot of what gravity falls offers us on a plate but thats a post (and a fanfic) for another day lmao

and god anon i hear you SO hard on old ford x little mullet stan. i spent a good few days trying to answer this but i couldnt stop thinking of it now that you put it in my brain and im so fucking happy oh my god they are literally everything. my hc here is that big ford went to a dimension to grab another brother w the size crystals to kidnap a stan easier but got too attached to his tiny 30 year old brother, whos absolutely terrified of everything now, the poor thing dbdhdndj

[thinking-emoji]

Phannie acronym/initialism* dictionary

*no i'm not getting into what counts as an acronym or an initialism. I'm also not telling you how to pronounce any of these

Please refer to the original version of this post to check for updates!

7SC: 7 Second Challenge

AP: AmazingPhil

ATF: Above the Fray, former management agency

atiwttmotiimpaowwmtf: And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously, we were more than friends...

BFTD: Back from the Dead

BIG: Basically I’m Gay

BWAGFEO: Basically We Are Gay For Each Other

BWYBMS: Better With You By My Side

COTY: Coming Out To You

D&P: Dan and Phil

DAP: Dan and Phil

DAPB: DanAndPhilBEATS

DAPC: DanAndPhilCRAFTS

DAPFTTT: Dan and Phil Finally Tell the Truth

DAPG: DanAndPhilGAMES

DAPGO: Dan and Phil Go Outside

DAPGOOSE: Dan and Phil Go Outside On Stage Event

DAPWEPINOF: Dan and Phil watch every phil is not on fire (sic)

DD: Dystopia Daily; rarely: The Drug Deal

DILM: Dan is leaving me

DINI: danisnotinteresting

DINK: 1. dumb twink; 2. double/dual income, no kids

DINKWAD: double/dual income, no kids, with a dog

DINOF: danisnotonfire

DINOK: Dan is not Ok

DITL: Day in the Life

DJH: Daniel James Howell

DnD: Daniel and Depression; in our circles rarely: Dungeons and Dragons

DnP: Dan and Phil

DNPB: DanAndPhilBEATS

DNPG: DanAndPhilGAMES

dnptwt: Dan and Phil twitter, the twitter phandom

DvP: Dan vs. Phil

DvPHTSD: Dan vs. Phil Hometown Showdown

ETVAHTCTE: Embrace the void and have the courage to exist

FDITL: Festive Day in the Life

FFVII: Final Fantasy VII

FFXIV: Final Fantasy XIV

GANP: Gay and Not Proud

GDM: gays do maths

GG: Guru Gossiper; old forum site with dnp threads

GTPWTW: Giving the People What They Want

GwF: Golf with Friends

HEH: Heart Eyes Howell

HL: Hard launch

HTBYFIS: How To Befriend Your Favourite Internet Stars

IDB: In Depth Bants

IGTOHGMMWGHTHBWPOTC: I got the octopus, he's gonna marry me, we're gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib

II: Interactive Introverts

IOM: Isle of Man

ISG: Internet Support Group

IT: InterTalent

IT2: It Takes Two

KTANE: Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes

LAP: LessAmazingPhil

LEL: Love Eyes Lester

M&C: Martyn and Cornelia

MINO: mullet in name only

NBSII: No But Seriously Imagine It

PCOU: Post Coming Out Universe

PGPIA: Post gay Phan in Australia

PHA: public horse announcement

PINOF: phil is not on fire

PMAVEDFAW: Phil makes a video every day for a week

PML: Philip Michael Lester

PPA: Phan Porn Addiction

PSL: Pumpkin Spice Latte

RPF: Real Person Fiction; rarely: Roleplay F...iction???

SAP: SuperAmazingProject

SGF: Saying Goodbye Forever

SSAYWD: some shit a youtuber would do (dystopia daily segment)

SWWTTY: Something we want to tell you

TABINOF: The Amazing Book is Not on Fire

TATINOF: The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire

TIIH: The Internet is Here

TIT: Terrible Influence Tour

TTLMT: Trying to Live My Truth

TTSTWMG: Trying to See Things Without My Glasses

UTA: United Talent Agency

VPDO: Viewers Pick Dan's Outfits

VPMO: Viewers Pick My Outfits

WAD: We’re All Doomed

WDAPTEO: What Dan and Phil text each other

wdaptpeo: what Dan and Phil text post each other

WITL: Week in the life

WIQY: Why I Quit YouTube

wt md if: “what’s that [sound]? My dignity, in flames” from “Drama Llama” on danisnotonfire

WWWY: When We Were Young festival

YWGTTN: You Will Get Through This Night

Works Cited:

[heckit1234]

Colt - Part 2

Colt placed his hand on the small of my back just above where my towel clung to my pregnant body. He lead me out of the sauna and into the change room area, his light breaths hitting the back of my head. I could feel how sore I was as I waddled in front of him. His 12” cock had just rearranged my insides in a way I’d never experienced before. My legs were shaky and as we approached the bench in front of my locker I stumbled forward a bit. Quickly Colts other hand wrapped around the underside of my belly and clung to my hip.

“Easy there boy, you’re going to need to adjust to a lot more than this small belly soon” Colt whispers to me as he stabilizes me. The glint in his eye tells me his plans for my body were officially out of my control. I look down at my massive belly. No one in their right mind would call me small! A warm feeling began to grow deep down in my gut, I was about to be taken over by my dream man. I place a hand on my belly absentmindedly and began to grin, finally the time has come.

“Damn boy these gym shorts barely fit you” Colt says to me while watching me struggle to pull my shorts over my growing ass. I turn around to see him in short red shorts no longer than 5” inseams and an oversized cropped black muscle tank which exposed his huge biceps and pecs. Colt had a black backwards cap on which let his wet curly mullet hangout the back of it. He had his gym bag over his shoulder and a protein drink in one hand.

“You should see how tight the shirt is” I respond back to him. “No point in even putting it on” I chuckle as I grab it out of my bag to put on.

“Then don’t” colt says in a low tone. “Show off to everyone here why you’re mine now”

I slowly put my shirt back in my bag while I stare at him. A smirk runs across his face as I do as he says. Colt seemed to be getting pleasure out of my total attention and obedience to him. It made me excited to see what he had in store for me.

“Let’s head back to my place then” Colt says as we walk out of the change room. He places one hand on my far shoulder and one on the top of my exposed belly. His hips brush against me as we walk and I feel his somehow still impossibly hard cock rub against me. As we walk out everyone looks at us with awe. The visual contrast of his shredded abs and sharp v-line exposed beneath his cropped tank made my impossibly round only 5 month pregnant belly all the more remarkable. “They all want you so bad” Colt leans in and says. Right as we are about to exit he slaps my ass making everyone look one last time as we walk out.

Walking into Colts apartment I was met with a forest of plants on every surface. Yet, the place was very clean. His body just like his home was perfect to look at. I waddle over to his couch and sit myself down as Colt goes into the kitchen.

“I have a couple surprises for you tonight man, I know you’ll enjoy each one of them” Colt says from the kitchen. As he comes into the living room he is holding a funnel and two large containers of liquid. “A growing boy needs all the protein he can get. Those muscles and babies aren’t going to grow themselves.”

I look at the containers. They look to be filled with chocolate protein shakes of some kind. At least 8 litres between the two containers. “You want me to drink all that?” I say in awe with my eye also turning to the funnel in his hand.

“Come sit on this chair here” Colt pulls a dinning room chair into the middle of the room. I slowly stand up and move over to the chair. Colt sits me down and puts my hands behind my head “keep those there” he says while fiddling with the funnel. He puts a finger on my chin and slowly moves it up into my mouth and pulls my jaw open. Colt then places the funnel tube into my mouth and pours the first container of liquid into it. His dark brown eyes staring down at me as he raises the funnel up making the liquid move down the tube into my mouth.

“Drink”

I had no choice but to listen. Slowly l, gulp after gulp, I drank the shake pouring into my mouth from the funnel tube. It was cold, but not so cold it was hard to drink. It was the perfect consistency which made it all too easy to drink continuously. The cold liquid in my gut mixed with the hot cum Colt had filled me with back in the sauna only an hour ago. As I drank I could feel my belly expanding. Slowly, the size of my belly grew. With each gulp my belly would push forward into my lap. Colt placed his free hand on the top of my belly and started rubbing it. The soft touch of his hand helped ease the growing pressure that was building in my gut. Being pregnant with two large babies made my gut feel packed full on a good day. And now with almost 4 litres added on top of that I felt like I could explode.

When I took the last sip from the tube Colt pulled it out of my mouth and placed in on the table. My gut was as big as I’d ever seen it. Easily bigger than the average guy at full term! Colt knelt down and placed both hands on my belly and started to kiss it. His moustache prickled against the tight skin of my over filled belly. With my hands behind my head I flexed my biceps as Colt worshiped my belly. All this protein would definitely make my muscles grow to his size. Slowly Colts kisses got lower and lower until he made his way down to my hard cock. I was so distracted my how full my gut was I hadn’t realized how hard I had gotten.

“Oh yes” Colt chuckled “you’re liking this” Colt took my cock out of my shorts and into his mouth. Up and down my cock slid around his mouth. I was in ecstasy. The feeling of my cock in Colts mouth made the feeling tightness in my gut go away. Before I knew it Colt stood up and grabbed the funnel. But this time he placed the tube in my mouth and handed the funnel to me. He poured the rest of the liquid in then looked at me.

“Drink”

I held the funnel above my head and did as he said. Drinking the liquid and feeling the tightness in my gut begin again. Until, I felt Colts hand around my cock again. He took it into his mouth and began to blow me again. Between the tightness of my belly and his mouth around my cock it took no time at all for me to bust into his mouth. My cum shot down his throat as he went even deeper onto my cock. His worship made the rest of the drinking an ease. Before I knew it I was done. 8 whole litres of protein drink sat heavy in my belly which looked as though I had a beach ball attached to me. Colt stood up, his cock pushing out of his shorts and a lust in his eyes for more. I could barely move. My gut was so heavy I could only sit and stare at the god of a man standing in front of me.

“I have never seen a more beautiful man” Colt says taking a step back. “I… I can’t believe you finished all that… you’re…” he takes a deep breath and then places a hand on his abs. “Massive”

Colt steps up to me and leans over me. His face right in front of mine. His huge cock pressed right against my belly adding even more pressure to its tightness. There was a new look in Colts eyes. Something about how he was looking at me was different. His hands gripping the sides of my belly. His mouth sat slack jawed as if he was waiting for the perfect moment to say what he was wanting to say. Colt then stood back again and ripped off his cropped tank. Exposing his pecs, he looked like he could be a Greek god. And in a single moment he said something I was not expecting but made me even more excited than I thought I would be tonight.

“Fuck me next”

[blackswan446]

super rich kids || act I, scene I

previous | masterlist | next

→ pairing: none in this scene

→ cws: none

→ wc: 1706

→ notes: hayyyyyy ☺️☺️☺️ imy guys i was randomly hit with an overwhelming urge to write today feeling blessed lols i hope this is good. also tried capitalizing my works with sentence case so let me know if it eats?? anyways ily enjoy

Cutlery and glasses clinked around you, and people chatted loudly and happily, yet the only thing that jarred you from your abstracted silence was the feeling of a hand and cool, metal rings on your shoulder.

You turned around, curious as to who had snuck up behind you, and were greeted by the kind face of your economics professor. She was an older woman, dressed from head to toe in linen and cashmere and dripping with designer luxuries. She gave you a proud smile, which was all too telling of her past — her face was dappled with sun spots, and the deflated remnants of filler was visible in her cheeks.

Her aged hand was still on your shoulder, and gave it a tight squeeze of fondness. “Congratulations, [name]!” she said, referencing the blue folder on your lap and thick cardstock paper of achievement inside of it. “You’ve worked hard all semester, and if anybody deserves recognition, it’s you. Keep up the good work, alright?” she said, giving two light pats to the back of your shoulder as she finished speaking.

You gave her a grateful smile, and nodded agreeably. “I won’t disappoint you, professor. Thank you.” with that, she smiled at you again, and bid you goodbye as her attention was grabbed by somebody else. But just as soon as she had left, she was replaced, not by one older woman, but by three guys your age.

One of them, who replaced the professor’s spot and stood imposingly between your own chair and the adjacent one, was broad-shouldered and had soft blonde hair. His friend, the second guy, had slipped into the chair next to yours. His hair was a bright, electric blue, and there was something about his eyes that made you feel slightly uneasy. Something unnerving. And the third one, who had occupied the seat next to the blue haired one, looked younger, slightly lost. His wide brown eyes didn’t seem to match the edge of his deep black mullet and face piercings. The blonde one let out a low whistle, and shook his head in disapproval.

“I guess that’s what happens when you spend too much time in the sun…what a shame.” he tsked, staring in the direction of your now-laughing professor as she walked away with her colleague.

“I’m sorry?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows at the unprovoked comment.

He looks back down at you, and you meet his eyes for the first time. He looks like somebody you would want to trust. Want to. He shakes his head again, but this time more rapidly. “Oh! God, i’m not talking about you, dear. Not at all. Don’t worry.” he explained, “I was talking about that woman that just walked away. I mean,” he scoffed, “You can take the woman out of the sun, but..”

His backtracking incited a quiet snicker from the black haired guy, but the blue haired one just rolled his eyes. “Namjoon, that’s rude. Why do you have to say things like that?” he complained, shaking his head at his friend. The blonde one, presumably Namjoon, gave the blue haired guy a look that screamed ‘seriously?’, and seemed to move on.

“So you’re smart?” the black haired boy chirped, looking eagerly in your direction as he stuck his head past his friend. Before you could answer, Namjoon spoke up again. “of course she is, Jungkook. Everybody here is smart. You don’t get invited to dean’s luncheons if you’re not.”

The blue haired boy scoffs again. “Clearly not everybody.” he quipped, rolling his eyes. “You weren’t even invited to this thing, you snuck in here to steal the food and hit on girls. Don’t even try to deny it.” the black haired guy, clearly upset at being given away, retracted back into his seat, looking like a kicked puppy. Namjoon gave a short laugh. He put his hand on the back of your chair, and leaned down closer to you, so that he was speaking just above your ear. “Just think. This is what I deal with, all day, every day. Isn’t that a shame, darling?”

Darling? How weird! You’ve known these people for maybe five minutes? You responded with a half-smile and a nod, praying that they would get the message and leave you the hell alone. The luncheon would be coming to a close soon, and it felt like you had a to-do list a mile long. All you wanted to do was get out of here and move on with your day.

Standing back up, he smiled cheekily at you. He was definitely trying something. You shifted in your seat, stretching your arms slightly, hoping to make obvious your disinterest and be set free from the bizarre conversation you found yourself a part of. Namjoon didn’t miss it. “So…” he started, but paused, as he waited expectantly for you to introduce yourself.

“[Name].”

“[Name]. So, [name], are you busy tonight? You have any plans?”

You shook your head. “not really, but—”

“—Oh, good! You’ll come to our party, then. Right? You’ll come out and have a good time?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, looking at namjoon and the blue haired boy. The black haired boy was still there, but he was too engaged in eating a bowl of soup out of an intricate ceramic bowl to participate in the conversation. “I don’t think so, i’ve got homewo—”

“—Don’t be difficult, [n/n]. If you’re at this luncheon thing, and if you’re not Jungkook, then your grades are good enough for you to miss one night of academics. Come on, we’re friends! Don’t make us sad.” the blue haired boy coaxed, his uncanny gaze boring into your own baffled one.

You shook your head again. “Seriously, I shouldn’t. I have other things to do tonight. Really.” namjoon scoffed, and leaned back down to look at you. “[Name]. You’re telling me, that you’re going to reject a night out with your friends, and deny good drinks, and good music, and good memories, so you can stay in your stuffy little dorm, fold clothes, and read about molecules? During the prime of your life?” he said sardonically, barely holding back his smirk as he spoke.

Something inside of you changed, just for a minute, but it was strong enough to make you cave. Inhaling deeply, you gave in. “fine. I’ll think about it.” you said, feeling slightly gutless at how easily he got you to give in. How did that even happen? Namjoon didn’t seem to care, though, and neither did the blue haired one. They both beamed happily at you. “See? That’s all we wanted.” the blue haired one said, as if it were the easiest thing on earth.

“Well, Taehyung, we should probably get out of [name]’s hair. I’d tell Jungkook too, but I don’t think he even knows we’re here anymore. But we wouldn’t want our new friend to get sick of us already, would we?” he asked his friend. Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jungkook. The calm one, the sassy one, and the one that gorged himself on bread rolls for ten minutes.

“Can’t wait to see you later, darling.” Namjoon said happily, wrapping his arm around you for a brief moment before departing from his spot. “see you soon, [n/n]!” Taehyung beamed as he got up. Jungkook, the last to notice his friends leaving, put down his napkin and gave you a smile — well, the best one he could give with his mouth full of bread — and ran to join his friends. And then, they were gone.

What the hell?

“I Don’t know, Lyd,” you said into the phone, “I just don’t really want to go. I’m a busy person.” Lydia sighed again, for what seemed like the hundredth time in fifteen minutes. “[Name], I don’t know how I’m the only one who sees how great this is. I mean,” she pauses; you hear her shifting around in her seat, “some handsome guys come and ask you to party with them, they call you darling, come on! What is there not to like?!” she exclaims.

You sigh. “it was just weird. Like-” you hesitate, unsure of how to explain your thoughts, “yeah, they asked, but like, they did it in a way that would have made it weird if I had kept saying no. You know?”

“I get what you’re saying, [n/n], but I think you’re reading too deep into it. The main point here is that you were personally invited by some handsome guys to a party tonight. Do you know the things that other girls would do for this? Do you know the things I would do for this? You’re a lucky girl, [name].”

Maybe she’s right. “I guess it’s not the worst idea.” you admit. “See! That’s the spirit. 20 years from now, you’ll be so glad you went out and enjoyed your youth.” Lydia said. You could hear her get up and start walking around. “It’s gonna be great. You can wear that new top you got, we’re gonna look amazing, and we’re gonna have an amazing time. And you’ve got me all excited, so don’t even think about backing out now!” she exclaimed.

You chuckled at her excitement. “Alright, fine. But you can’t leave me this time, you got that? Or else I’ll have your head.” you warned, shuddering at the several times Lydia had left you hanging for over an hour after she had gotten drunk and wandered off. “ma’am, yes ma’am!” she said, before giving a jubilant cheer and hanging up the phone.

Well, it’s set now. Your plans of room chores and food delivery were foiled. You tried to be excited, (but, how sad could you really be about missing out on laundry?) But something deep within you nagged at your gut, a part of you that you had only met a handful of times, and somehow it was always in the most precarious moments.

Things could only go so bad…right?

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

apologies if youve had this asked before but i struggle sooooo fuckin hard to draw matts hair and you do it so well how do i do this arugh

for reference this is how i draw his hair and its just not great

(IGNORE THAT ITS HOMESTUCK IM ON MY KNEES IGNORE IT PLEEEASE)

MATT HAIR TUTORIAL!!!

ok first off I'm taking liberties with his design, obv his hair in canon is not as curly as i draw it. but ive gotten a couple asks like this so here is How I Draw Matt's Hair!!

Step 1: Bald Matt.

its always good to have a base to work off of. i cant imagine drawing the hair first lol

Step 2: Give him brain freeze

the general shape i like to use for matt's hair is like.. a cloud. or some ice cream. this is probably about what matt would look like if he didnt style his hair (ice cream drips nonwithstanding)

Step 3: tug

with the general shape language down, its time to shear it (in the mathematical, graphical, transformational sense). basically the hair goes up and forward, but still retains the fluff.

Step 4: misc

then its just the bonus bits! the puff on the back of his head, the semi-mullet, and the cute lil sideburns!

aaaand there you go! you look beautiful, matt.

....if it wasnt obvious, i tend to do most of the posing and visualizing in my head and just get straight to the lines. but ive also spent a lot of time just figuring out what shapes combine to make everyone, both for body types and their heads. everyones just made of shapes. thats how 3d objects be. including hair!!

also. you know i cant.

[lonely-hearts-assemble]

𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧!

ELI JANG. Meeting him after a long time • female reader, recent eli of the shop • ⚠️: grammar?, boring maybe ? Just some random brainrot; might edit some parts again :p

Masterslist!

" Have..." You perused, trying hard to light the bulb

" we.. " but the cogs seem to be trying in vain

"met before? "

A boulder dropped on Eli's head.

" We just met a few days ago? "

" We did? " Prankster much? You think frowning, being even more confused.

You just moved into Gangdong and are pretty sure you didn't have anyone you know here. What exactly is this seller playi-

" Oh oh " something strikes

" Big Daniel from Fashion department?? " You point, eyes crinkled and lips upturned

Another boulder crashed on Eli's head that he almost tripped over

Okay, maybe the cogs are a little rusted due to all the physics it had to tolerate over time " My bad, guess I've got amnesia " you avert your eyes, a sweat dripping by your cheeks

" Is that so? " He smiles, eyes shut, seemingly seething

" So you don't remember Yenna? "

You perk up at the familiar name

" What about her? " You raise a brow

" It's her dad " his muscles seem to be working a lot to keep that smile intact

" You'd babysit her for me, rings a bell? "

His co-workers would curiously glance time to time in your direction along with the other customers prodding & vying for his attention. He dismissed 'em rather easily, as if he couldn't hear them at all.

" It was some blondie with a mullet though..."

He only purses his lips and peers down at you in response

" So... you dyed your hair and changed your style.... for what exactly? Now you're harder to remember "

Eli refrained from pinching your cheeks and it showed when his fingers twitched.

It wasnt that Eli was hard to remember before, just that you were much more invested in Yenna to pay attention to anything else.. but now he was definitely hard to remember with.. looking so... typical.

You stare

Or maybe not.

" Also, we met up a few months ago " you clarify

" Hmm.. was it? " very ironically, this was the longest conversation you two shared, with you being quite dismissive about anything that didn't have yenna in it.

It was a ritual, he'd drop yenna at yours and be off to his work. Whenever he'd try to talk, he'd only get absent minded 'hmms' & 'ohs', Yenna having your full attention.

Which was a score actually, no crazy fan to worry about. But maybe, sometimes somewhere in his desiderium and loneliness, just maybe he longed for a little bit of warmth.

He was weirdly glad to have your attention, he won't deny..

" So! will you let me buy these or not? " You raise your purchase

He's pulled out of his trance

"At a hefty price for you ma'am, as a penalty" He smiles, genuinely this time, leaning into your space with a hand on the wooden display rack beside you

" Or... A visit to yenna to make it up to her? " He asks, hopefully

Now, you purse your lips.

In one hand, you'd more than love it to meet Yenna, on the other, there were things to unpack and appointments to attend.

Seeing you reluctant, he didn't know why but he put up his best pleading eyes he could (method from small Daniel)

" Um.. maybe next time"

Much to his disappointment, it didn't seem to have an effect on you. No, you didn't even notice it.

Which is usual with you, now that he thinks about it.. What'd he expect?

" 'Cause have to unpack a little since I just moved not long ago"

His little sulk is apparent,

" but I'll definitely make some time soon. I'd more than love to meet Yenna again " You flash a toothy grin

" What about me? "

Instant regret. That's not what he meant, no he didn't mean to sound like-

" It was nice meeting you too. Let's hangout next time! "

Oh!

you smile brightly yet again and you might as well just be an angel, he thinks.

" I think you have an important customer to tend to " you point eyes to an old man in his forties or fifties behind Eli

" I'll be going then, see you around-" You step back

" ' Hostel's Big Daddy ' " you stagger in your laughter

Ah! He purses his lips, little pink on his cheeks. That tickled his heart.

Even as you walk away in your own little world, Eli ignores the murmurs and his burning back, eyes solely lingering on you, a small smile playing on his lips.

He hopes time flies and you'd meet again very soon.

" ELI! (We know) you're whipped (but please we need) help- "

" Shh "

" But sally- "

" Shh "

" Yes uncle Shh "

[0lliecl0wn]

PUNCH OUT HEADCANONS: Clueless Friends Edition

so i showed my friends the punch out cast and asked them to make up headcanons for them (they have never seen nor heard of punch out outside of me rambling to them about it)

so uh

here it is

GLASS JOE

-Wet the bed as a kid

-Probably still does it

-Denys it

-Goes honk shoo honk shoo when he sleeps

-Had a mullet in middle school

-Has to draw on his eyebrows

-Mouth Breather™

-Wears a cap and nightgown and holds a candle at night

-Can’t swim

VON KAISER

-Bartender

-Screams into his pillow at night

-Screams like a little girl

-Wore light-up Sketchers in middle school

-Got bullied for it

-Goes to the gym to cope

-Fucking YEETS the dumbells

-Flexes on people (also to cope)

-If he is told to sleep on the couch, he will sadly sulk there like a emo person (cue sad hamster music)

DISCO KID

-Babygirl

-Zesty

-Took ballet/gymnastics

-Optimist

-Accidentally broke a trampoline

-Was the popular kid in school

-THE sweetest guy

-Cat person

-Owns 4 cats

-Wears fluffy robes

KING HIPPO

-Plays League of Legends

-Tweaks out HARD at Angry Birds and Super Mario Wii (friend is totally not projecting)

-Really good at board games

-Gamer

-Patrick Star kinnie

-Does NOT cackle. He giggles

-Has Live Laugh Love framed over his toilet

-His snores have caused earthquakes

-Heavy sleeper

PISTON HONDO

-”He did WHAT in his Honda?!”

-Behaves like that one English teacher you had in middle school

-aka the ”Never in my 15 years of teaching have I seen a substitute report this bad” teacher

-ponders

-Dances to animation memes

-Worked at Burger King once

-Constantly pissed

-Goes honk mimimimi when he sleeps

-If he ate a cheeseburger he would explode

-Was the guy who made the post that just says “everytime a new chicken sandwich releases”

BEAR HUGGER

-Smells PUTRID

-Real name is Cleetus

-Lumberjack

-Has a lisp

-Gets food in his beard

-Eats it (EWWWW 🤢)

-His theme song is “Entry of the Gladiators” (aka clown music)

-Wouldn’t survive a day in the military

-Plays Microsoft Flight Simulator

-Goes “weeeeee!” as the plane flies

-Has a poster that says “Eat Slur Game Repeat”

-Redneck

-Has a shirt that says ”These Fists Are Rated E for Everyone”

GREAT TIGER

-HOT

-Has the most beautiful hair but hides it

-Binged My Little Pony

-Binged Twilight

-Plays with Barbie dolls

-Listens to Kpop

-AMAZING at Just Dance

-Also good at DDR

-Plays Pikmin

-Loves the Stone Pikmin

DON FLAMENCO

-Once got addicted to cough drops

-Uses really bad pick up lines

-Does really bad trickshots to impress girls

-Slips like a cartoon character. His shoes go flying every time

-Watched MLP with Great Tiger

-Watches Mean Girls

-Kins Regina George

-Cried when she got hit by a bus

-Zesty

-Scoliosis

-Can pick my friend up with one hand

-Would lean on a wall, say “hey cutie, you free tonight?” and immediately have a coughing fit

-Took an Am I Gay? Quiz. It said yes and refuses to believe it (internalized biphobia)

-Likes big butts and he cannot lie

ARAN RYAN

-Menace

-Actually very lightweight, refuses to admit it

-Bullies kids on ROBLOX

-Keeps getting censored in chat

-Plays Dress to Impress

-Would hit you if so desired

-Uses Joker quotes

-Bakes pink cupcake in spare time

-Would make a balloon animal for a kid and then pop it like Gru

-The guy he tickled in his character intro was Don Flamenco

-Killed someone, steals, graffitis, takes candy from babies

-Should be in jail

-ADHD

-”Ya prob’ly got cheeseburgers in those gloves, have ya Mac?!” “well you have horseshoes”

SODA POPINSKI

-Dropped on the head as a kid

-Nicknamed ”Pinhead Larry”

-Oiled up

-Naturally loud

-Skipped leg day

-Mr. Krabs walking sound when he tiptoes

-Speedruns Hello Neighbor

-Hands are too big for the keyboard

-Makes dad jokes and laughs at himself because no one else laughs

-Gets bullied by Aran Ryan for his dad jokes

BALD BULL

-Someone threw a bowling ball at his head

-Peak Male Performance

-40% chip (context for this is in comments)

-Watched game shows, was in one once

-Blurts out the answers at the TV, gets pissed every time they get it wrong and screams

-Screams like the ash baby

-Shakes randomly

-Ate lead paint

-Ate a glow stick

-”ladies, ladies, calm down, theres enough of me to go around” (stolen from don flamenco, difference is this actually works)

-ash baby coded???

-Teeters on the line of being ugly and hot

-Gets beauty sleep

-20 step skincare routine

SUPER MACHO MAN

-”he looks like a founding father”

-Shrimp posture

-UGLY??

-Listens to phonk unironically

-Has jiggle physics

-Uses his chest to type on keyboards

-says “eureka!” when he as an idea

-FAKE chain

-wears speedos (canon)

-its his only outfit

-played five nights at freddys and shit himself

-Pimp

-GILF

-Looks 72, is 27

MR. SANDMAN

-Drag Queen

-Chappell Roan listener

-Once tried to wax his nose but got q tips stuck in it

-REALLY into horoscopes and gemstones

-NAPALMED a homeless shelter

-Dances like the dame tu cosita guy

-fucken BUSTS IT DOWN to every song

-Throws gang signs in his boxing gloves??

-Does the Omni-Man squat sometimes

-Ate a lightbulb and that's why his skin glows

-Skips to the song “Mr. Sandman” because he’s babygirl like that

LITTLE MAC

-Floats in the air when he smells pie

-Anime protagonist

-Loves Ben 10

-Had a greasy mohawk

-Ate a bug

-Sticks his head out of the car window

-Gulps and goes “EEEYIKES!!!” when he has to fight a strong opponent

-Listens to Mitski

-Loves the movie Ratatouille

-His favorite character is Remy’s brother

-Makes kandi bracelets

-Asserts dominance by T-posing

DOC LOUIS

-Wears yoga pants

-Has asthma

-Runs up the stairs on all fours

-Maximum silly

-Watches romcoms and cries

-Draws watches on his wrist and looks at it when someone asks him for the time

-Watched Skibidi Toilet AND knows all of the lore

-Doesn’t know what a tampon is

-Listens to the song that goes “once I was seven years old”

-Mama’s boy

-HORRIBLE driver

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Could you do some modern day Soda headcanons please? I love him so much and I love your blog so much soooooo….

Ok so soda is tricky for me to write but I tried my best!!!

Modern Au Sodapop Headcanons

-Drinks every single energy drink imaginable. Rockstar? Like its water. Prime? For the plot. 5 hour energy? He’ll down it in five seconds. Darry is HORRIFIED.

-Is pretty enough he’s one of those people who becomes moderately famous on TikTok without having to really do much. His followers notice he’s always talking to someone off camera, and they’re desperate to find out who it is, but Soda only ever responds to comments with ‘oh that’s just Stevie, he doesn’t like TikTok’.

-Soda’s followers have a lot of theories about this ‘Stevie’. Soda is weirdly tight lipped about him, despite the fact he often breaks off mid rant in videos to talk to him. There’s also the fact that the rest of the gang is often around/in the background of videos, but the mysterious ‘Stevie’ never appears. (okok I’ll stop here before this becomes a Stevepop social media au)

-Regularly forgets to take his ADHD meds and Darry often has to remind him

-Would either have a hockey flow or a mullet (whatever y’all think, personally I think modern Soda with a hockey flow tracks with his character)

-One of those people who loves horror movies but is also completely terrified of even the dumbest ones and has to sleep with the lights on for weeks afterwards. Steve makes fun of him for it, but will also stay up on the phone with him if Soda watches one by himself and freaks himself out

-Has a million fidget spinners because they actually help him focus on stuff when he needs to

-Soda in modern AU wouldn’t call Ponyboy ‘kid brother’ as a nickname (don’t get me wrong, I love it but Ive never heard it used irl). Instead, I think him and Darry (and thus the rest of the gang) refer to Pony as ‘shrimp’ and Ponyboy absolutely hates it  “where’s the shrimp” “he’s has track practice ‘till four, you of all people should know that Dar” (brought to you by me and my interactions with my own little brothers)

-The whole gang is super into video games, but Soda is kind of shit at them and lowkey grumpy about it

-Every teacher he’s ever had has done that thing where they expect him to be exactly like his older sibling, and therefore expect him to be a model student like Darry, and every time they are proven entirely wrong. By the time the same teachers see Ponyboy’s name on their class lists they’re terrified of what to expect

-He definitely had that horrible middle school boy stage where he just reeked of axe body spray and BO before he figured out proper hygiene

-Every two weeks him and Steve end up doing some sort of YouTube deep dive where they end up being convinced of some sort of wild conspiracy theory that Ponyboy and sometimes Darry have to spend three hours talking them out of

-Uses far too many emojis in texts

-He had a pet hamster once and you know that thing died in the most horrendous way imaginable. Two-bit probably farted into the cage at one point as a joke and the poor thing asphyxiated to death or some shit like that

-He’s that kid in group projects who does nothing and tanks the presentation for everyone by mispronouncing half the words on the slides some other group member made for him

-Him and Steve are so inseparable that when they’re not together people will be like ‘where’s your boyfriend’ and he just answers without thinking before flushing really hard and sputtering a bit. 

-One of those people that casually catches snakes with his bare hands. Steve HATES it and Ponyboy is TERRIFIED of snakes so he gets in trouble with Darry if he does it too often or brings them near the house