#also my essay is due today.. um. fuck.

[averageclawcodeenjoyer]

Hey gang... uhhhhh

So I'm writing my final essay (have been all week), and we're up to 4500 words and I've just.... started the middle......

.........the beginning of the middle.

Um.

The requirement is 500 words.

UM.

Thinking about making it into a full fanfic and only posting half of what I'm writing rn (because otherwise it would only be a one chapter book). It's ClawCode, but set in The Last of Us's universe. (But I'm heavily basing it off of the game with some changes and a different ending, probably)

Anybody be interested in reading that?

SUPER fast freak doodle of my boy btw ^^^

[life-is-unreal]

Watching from afar {Twisted Wonderland x Reader}

(Also published on Wattpad and Quotev, maybe ao3?) (the plot is similar but not the same) (updates=???) (shit grammar)

Prologue 0.1 - Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

"I swear to god, if there's another essay due today." You hissed, tapping away on your computer.

"I can't believe he set three essays without even telling us in class. Like bitch- WHAT THE FUCK THERE'S TWO MORE?"

You threw a slipper across the room, resisting the urge to chuck the computer, "It's expensive, it's expensive... I can't afford shit right now." You muttered, your hand clawing on your scalp.

"Brrrrrrringgggggggg. Briiiiiiiiiiiiing."

The sound of your phone ringing sounded heavenly compared to your ten hour grind on finishing all your essays due tomorrow. 

"Hellllo?"

"Hey Y/N! You wanna go to the amusement park that just opened up near school? By the way, 'no' isn't acceptable. I'm at your house so head down bitch."

"Annnnd she hung up."

You sighed. At least you had a reason to tell your parents on why you failed, you could blame everything on your dearest friend Marie.

"Heeyyyyy Marie." You slipped into the uber, shoving your best friend away as she tried to tackle you into a hug.

"Girlie, you look like those ghosts. Of course, you look as beautiful as ever but still." Marie flicked your forehead.

"Girl. I legit had to do three fucking essays in a day and there's two that I haven't done yet."

"...Wait. I have the same classes as you rightttt?"

You snorted, your half dead expression going away as the smile vanished on Marie's face. What's that saying? Smiles don't disappear, they just move to someone else's face.

"WE HAVE FIVE FUCKING ESSAYS DUE TOMORROW? SCUSE MOI?"

You clamped your hand over her mouth, pushing her down, "Bitch, we're in a fucking uber."

"Keugh, keugh. I mean, I can cancel the ride and send you guys back?" The uber driver said awkwardly.

"Sorry man, it's fine. My parent's have like, no hope on my studies so I'll be fine." Marie muttered, her soul sucked away from her body.

"Um. We're here now?" The uber driver, keeping his eyes straight ahead tapped the window.

"Uh, yeah haha. Uh, Y/N get your ass off. Let's go." Marie laughed awkwardly, pinching you hardly.

"Bitch what the fuck." You whisper-yelled in her ear.

"Shush, this shit awkward as fuck, now pretend you have a stomach ache." Marie elbowed your stomach hardly.

"ASFTEGHWGEU WTF?" You screeched, almost flinging her hand off you when you clutched your stomach in pain.

"Sorry girly pop, take one for the team y'know. SORRY MATE, MY FRIEND HERE SEEMS TO HAVE SOME STOMACHE PROBLEMS! GOTTA DASH!" Marie took hold of your hoodie and almost yeeted you towards the direction of the entrance.

"Bitch you owe me a popsicle." You snarled when the two of you had gotten inside.

"Heeeeey, I bought your ticket! It was hella expensive you know!" She whined, using her puppy eyes.

"I- eugh. Let's go then." The thing about Marie was that although she could be a hella insensitive and bitchy person, she was probably one of the top five best looking people in the school and other than being a bit two-faced she was a person with great personality, that is when she isn't bitchy and overly clingy. 

You and Marie's friendship began when she moved in to your neighborhood and the moment they moved in, it was made very clear that Marie's family was absolutely loaded. The first time you met was in high school. You had moved in a few months prior so the two of you began chatting as the two of you were the only 'new faces'.

Marie's problems shined through quite quickly when the two became more and more popular. You had gotten popular through brains and pretty looks whilst Marie had gotten popular because of her down right stunning looks.

Halfway through the first school year together, Marie had became friends with everyone under the 'popular' tag. You being her one and only "bestie" had hear all her remarks on other people.

"OMG Y/N, you know Sarah? The blondie? Like she's literally sooo toxic to her friends and everyone. Like bitch called me 'bestie' like noooo. Her? To be delulu enough to think that she's my bestie? Fuck no! Why would I want some ugly, stuck up, two faced bitch being my bestie. Girly pop, stick with me more. I don't want people like her bothering me."

"Hey bestiiiieeee. Did you see what happened in the cafeteria today? That new boy. That nerd. No? Eughhhhh, why don't you know any of the latest gossip??? Anyways, he got his ass whooped by one of the upperclassmen because he was talking to ThEiR GiRl. Like how cringgge is that shit?"

You had compared Marie to Regina from Mean Girls before but you decided that it didn't fit Marie that well. Marie was just as popular, just as two faced. But there was one thing for sure, she wasn't a total bitch. 

"Y/N! You wanna hang out today??? Pleeeeeaseee, you know that you're my only bestieeee. Come onnn. Let's go shopping, and yeaaaah I know you're broke and all that but that's why you need a rich bestie right? There you have the all so wonderful and fantastic me!"

"Y/N! Guess what! You know those bitchy girls from Year 12? I called some of my ahem, friends. Don't worry, they won't pick on you any more! Ain't I just succcch a wonderful person. By the way! It's your birthday this week right? I'm bought you that limited edition bag from that store you were eyeing. Uhhh, don't mind the price. You don't need to know about that. Ehe!"

Marie was clingy for sure and she gets angry easily contrary to how she acts in front of the popular people. She never gets angry because of you but you could see when she starts to get annoyed. She always gets annoyed when you hang too close to other people which is probably one of her toxic traits but you were pretty much fine with that as you found that she was fine with most people as long as they don't start calling you "Bestie".

There was also, one thing that Marie entrusted to you, and only you. Her deepest, darkest secret.

"Hey! Y/N! You listening to me?" Marie frowned, flicking your forehead. "You're zoning out again!"

"My baddddd. What you saying again?" You rubbed your fore head. Yeah, Marie's strength was also quite good.

"You wanna go to that mirror thingamajiggy room?"

"The what? Never mind. Let's go." You blinked wearily. 

"Did you actually grind for ten hours for those essays? It's not- Eugh. You being your top student. Your the fav student, they won't fail you as long you give a good enough reason you know?" Marie ruffled your hair. 

Hmmmm. Marie grew a few centimeters again. You sighed, you and your unmoving height.

You let the taller girl drag you through the crowd until you've reached the Hall of Mirrors, or as Marie calls it, the "mirror thingamajiggy room".

"Y/N girly pop. Stay here for a second. I think I saw those ice cream trucks nearby, I'll get some scoops, don't wander off like you always do. I'm not finding you for two hours again like what happened last year." Marie tapped your forehead. "You listening? I- Why do I even bother?" She rubbed her temples. "Stay put!" she called out, jogging towards the ice cream truck as she was hidden by the flowing visitors.

"What did she say?" You muttered. You removed your blue tooth headphones.

"Whatever, she probably went to the toilet or something." You raised your eyes, glancing at the entrance. For some reason, there was a smaller tent that had no queues next to the gigantic crowd going to the Hall of Mirrors.

You glanced weirdly at the bustling crowd. "They all blind or smth?"

Looking down at the weight that was leaning on your leg you rolled your eyes, "Marie really left her bag for me to carry." You slung her tote on your shoulder before trudging towards the little tent that was pretty much hidden in the shadows.

"Cold nights be like." You grumbled in annoyance, "What the hell did she put in her bag for it to be this heavy man? Gold?"

Ah, my lovely Lord,

"Sound effects? Seriously man?" You raised your brows as you entered the tent.

The noble and beautiful flower of evil,

You are the most beautiful, number one in this world.

"Whyyyyy. Thank you." You yawned sleepily. "Why am I here again?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the most..."

"For thee, guided by the Mirror of Darkness," You read off from the plaque in front of the mirror in the center.

Follow thy heart and take the hand of the one reflected in the mirror.

"Yoooo, these effects are kinda cool." You leaned forward, seeing black mist forming in the mirror.

Flames that turn even stars into ashes,

Ice that imprison even time,

Great tree that swallow even the sky,

"How poetic. I would applaud if this was in English class."

Don't be afraid of the power of darkness,

Come now, show your power.

Mine, theirs, and yours,

Your brows furrowed slightly as you felt yourself walking towards the largest mirror.

"Am I so sleepy that my brain and my body ain't working together. I've done that before I mean..." You wondered out loud.

There's only little time left for us.

Do not let go of that hand, at all costs.

Your sleepy eyes widened when your hand, completely out of control, started to reach for the hand that was appearing in the mirror.

"Marie? Are you doing this shit?" You screamed, at this volume, people outside would surely hear you and start rushing in right?

"Marie?" Your voice faltered.

"I- should've waited for Marie..." You whispered, your consciousness fading away as the hand in the mirror grasped yours...

"Marie...find...me"

To be continued...

[lydiaisgeeky]

Meant to Be

Jason x Reader Fanfic

1. Meeting (w.c. 1667)

I've always kept a low profile at Gotham Academy. Not really worth it to call attention most kids here were rich and well I was here on scholarship. I did well in school- I knew I would have to make my own way. My family wasn't poor in any way but we certainly weren't rich. We live in Gotham because it's cheap. Rent is low due to the criminal activity however we noticed less activity happened at Gotham Academy so I did my best to get myself there. But now I'm standing at my locker praying that my locker neighbor wouldn't show up. Richard Grayson. He seems sweet but so do the rest. He typically hangs around the locker all morning with his friends who always seem to be changing.  Either way he wasn't here right now and I'm hoping he won't be here today. I grabbed my books and put them in my tote. The dress code was so strict that you had to have a specific colored bag. I didn't want to deal with comments about how I didn't have a designer bag so I went with a simply canvas tote. My school rented laptop was the last to go in the bag. I shut my locker and debated on staying here. If Richard wasn't coming I could sit here and work on homework or I could head to the library as always. I decided to head to the library because I didn't want to risk it and have the embarrassment of leaving so off to the library I went.

"Hey y/n! So this is where you disappear to everyday? Huh so thats studious you isn't just an act. Wow crazy" I snapped my head towards the sound. Sure enough there comes Richard with someone in tow. "What are you working on?" He started flipping through my homework "Wow you know this essay isn't due until next week" I nodded. It was true but school laptops can't leave the school or you have to pay crazy insurance.

"I uh my home laptop is well um broken so you know I have to get this essay done plus one for history and I also have to type a script for an elective and there is only so many hours you know" Maybe I kept a low profile because I couldn't keep myself from rambling. Richard smiled at me.

"Oh yeah well that's alot. I think we may have a spare laptop or two at home that we were going to donate right Jason" the kid next to him shrugged "Oh I'm sure we do - do you want one you are more than welcome to donate it after your done." I began to shake my head no but he didn't really look for my response he just continued on. "Oh this is Jason by the way he's in your class uh maybe you two can check your schedules." He leaned over me and pulled up my schedule. He was my TA so I wasn't surprised he could do that what I was surprised about was how Jason's schedule matches mine almost exactly. Same home room and same core classes same elective times but different electives.

"Cool it looks like we have most of the same classes" the other kid said. I had been keeping my head down not really looking at him but at that moment I looked up and saw the most handsome guy I had seen. He had this amazing dark hair stunning blue eyes. He was thin but fit. He look no different than I did. His uniform disheveled and it looked like he had a completely normal non recognizable bag.

"Yeah we do" I smiled. "You just transfered here? Cus you are more than welcome to borrow any of my notes I don't take them home. Most of my school stuff stays here anyways and um I'm sorry hi - I'm y/n"

"Anyways I was going to show Jason the rest of the school did you want to tag along y/n? I have a feeling you don't even know everything about Gotham Academy." Richard's blue eyes were shinning with excitement.

"Sure" I said running a mental to do list of what I could rearrange to make up for the lost school work. Richard was beaming. He gave a great tour of the school. Jason didn't seem too interested in the tour. The bell rang and so Richard handed the tour over to me to get Jason to the first class.

Jason stopped me before entering. "Tell me how stupid do I look? This is such a fancy school - am I fucking this up? I wish I could just go back to my old school." He spun around and hit a locker. I jumped a bit but then put my hand on his arm.

"Hey you look fine to me. Besides if you keep your head down the elite tend to not notice you. Richard seems to break that mold but I haven't seen anyone else even remotely care about me. You wouldn't be in these classes if you weren't good at school so you'll be fine."

"The elite? What's that supposed to mean everyone here is the elite."

"Right. Everyone. Certainly there's no one here on scholarship. I'm going to go inside being late draws attention." I turn away and shrink - why did I think he could be like me. I found my seat just inside the classroom door. I was in the front but out of the way. I figured this might be a good time to make up for lost time. Jason slid into the seat next to me.

This was pretty consistent for the classes we had together. Then lunch hit. Richard grabbed Jason. I assumed they were going off campus so I found my corner. It was a little alcove hidden away by the classic books. There weren't any desks in the area so I'd sit on the floor with my back against a bookshelf. I put on my headphones and worked on my homework. I made a huge dent so I decided to grab my favorite Jane Austin book off the shelf and to my shock I saw Jason grabbing a Jane Austin as well.

"That's a good one" I say to Jason. He turns to me as if he was caught. I smile and held up my book "I've read Pride and Prejudice at least 5 times and I've read" I look at his book "Emma at least 3 times" He was still frozen in horror "Don't worry I won't tell".

I sat back down lost in thought. I knew Jason was essentially a stranger and every girl my fantasize about the new kid but he just seems so genuinely cool. I tried to push him out of mind as I finished the school day. I was going to my locker fairly confidently as Richard never hung out there after-school. I was switching my bags and grabbing my change of clothes about to head to the bathroom to change and look like a Gothamite once again.

"Y/n good I'm glad I caught you." I integrally groaned Richard was running up the hallway. "Jason will need someone to get him caught up did you want to come over some day and do a tutor session with him. We can drive you home or your driver could pick you up I am not really sure how it would be go down for you"

"I wish I could help but I'm not sure I could feasibly go to your house. Richard-"

"Dick"

"What?!"

"No no no" He laughed and smiled "Dick call me Dick outside of school it's a nickname for Richard my parents called me that. It's what they called my grandfather so"

"That's cruel but okay. Dick. I'm on scholarship here. I don't have money okay and I don't think your driver wants to be driving through my neighborhoods especially at night and I don't have a car yet so I just don't think it'd be a good idea."

"Jason has a motorcycle. I can almost promise you he'd drive you back but we don't really care about where you live. Come over for dinner and study and someone will take you back. My adoptive dad is always trying to get us to bring friends over. Please" He asked with a puppy dog look.

"You have plenty of friends bring one of them"

"Please no I don't I have people who want to get into Wayne Enterprise someday. I have people who want to sleep with me but not anything else. Trust me I don't really have friends."

The internal stuggle was real. I just couldnt say no to him at this moment "Fine but I have to call my parents or they will think I've been kidnapped- like I said we don't live in the best area."

"Sure, sure" I walked away from Dick messing with his hair and hear him getting on the phone.

My folks were totally fine with me going over to someone's house they were happy I was making friends. So I suppose that's a good thing. I changed into my normal clothes cursing myself for not wearing something nicer. I came back to Dick sitting against my locker and Jason on Dicks. Both of them looked up at the same time with the same expression of their faces.

"I'm sorry I had to change if I wore my uniform in my neighborhood I promise I'd get mugged" I put the uniform in my locker after the boys stood up and grabbed my keys and looked at Jason. "What notes do you need. I can't take them home so what ever you need you'll need to bring back tomorrow" Jason shrugged so I continued. "Let's take it all I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow". I grabbed my note books being careful to leave my laptop. And we headed outside.

[bullshit-bulltrue]

so science lab was fucking insane today bc we had a substitute .

i had to be mean to someone, almost got hit with a chancla, found out a guy i liked in elementary has a crush on me, and i ended up falling asleep in the midst of it all

and bc i wanna type the rest in a weird format, here u go:

me: *leaves at the end of class* *goes to locker bc holy shit i just found out a guy likes me* *gets pissed bc shit don't be adding up* *contemplates why he would like me* lowkey gets mad 💀* *screeches + punches my locker and leaves a small dent* (...oopsie) *closes my locker and takes a deep breath*

ben: *pops up outta nowhere* (awoop jumpscare) (but in a good way) hey! *does a lil wave*

me: hi!

ben: yo your class was REALLY loud. we could hear you guys all the way from our room.

me: yeah it was ten times louder inside.

ben: damn

*pauses for a minute bc we kept bumping into each other since everyone else is fucking bumping into us*

me: hey did Mr e. play the gummy bear song for you guys and make you all dance?

ben: yeah *kinda embarrassed*

me: i figured, i heard it playing from the hallways lol

ben: well you guys were way louder lol

me: yeah its bc we had a sub

ben: ohhh that makes sense

me: everyone went crazy i swear. people running everywhere, almost got hit with a chancla

ben: wait what?!

me: yeah someone took aaron's slipper and threw it over my head. that was fun.

ben: oh wow

me: surprised i got out of class in time

ben: why's that?

me: oh i fell asleep and barely woke up before the bell

ben: you can fall asleep in there??? it was fucking loud

me: yeah, i can fall asleep if im tired enough

ben: wow

*we walk out the building doors and head toward the front of the school*

ben: hey did you finish the english essay?

me: i haven't even started it

ben: oh i finished it already

ben: ah..

me: yeah its due tonight so i'm just gonna scrape smth together

me: that was a joke. um, a bad one. it's not that hard, so i'll finish it up in no time. besides, we only have to write like 2 paragraphs minimum

ben: uhh yeah i *might* have written a more than two paragraphs..

me: what, like four?

ben: um.. more

me: seven? six?

ben: one less

me: five? omg, good job

ben: and i'm thinking of coloring in the drawing too. aiming for that extra credit 😎 but idk yet (he was joking. our school doesn't allow extra credit)

me: thats good! and hey as long as you have some pretty solid writing, i wouldn't worry too much about the drawing.

ben: yeah. oh and uhm i'll show you my writing tomorrow (we have english Okay!

me: okay! *about to leave*

ben: wait a minute! i actually have a picture of it saved, because i sent it to [insert persons name i dont remember]. *shows me the picture of the writing and drawing* me: wow, that's really good!

ben: yeah i actually don't know how many paragraphs that is lol (he didn't use indentations) and i still don't know about coloring it in

me: i'd say that's about 4-5. and, as i said, don't worry too much about coloring it in. you have a good amount written, so you should get a solid grade on that. and the diagram for your drawing looks good. if anything, maybe highlight the main parts. so it's bold you know?

ben: okay, thanks!

me: yeah, anytime! ever need help, just ask.

ben: okay!

me: see ya later!

ben: yeah, bye!

so yeah <3

also i figured out what was different abt him

so yk that part where ur hairline ends? yeah he got it. it was bugging me all day bc I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was different lol

[shoichee]

Hello! Can I perhaps ask for no. 28. “Make me” from your prompt list for my beloved Imayoshi? It's so nice seeing him here on your theme and avatar and that pERFECT url, it feels like I finally found my people.

HELLO HELLO, and YES I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT NO ONE TOOK THIS URL... considering that it was just an alternative spelling of shoichi and its a rlly short handle too mwehe // im sort of a particular person when it comes to how something looks, whether itd be outfits, drawings, coloring, and the UI of a blog, u name it.... i may have spent hours trying to have the perfect colors for this theme PLEASEEEE, but without further ado here is our man, our little shit, Imayoshi

@knb-kreations howdy! another new work posted here!

Imayoshi x Reader

28. “Make me”

Word Count: 2331

prompt list here

»»—————　☼　—————««

Imayoshi doesn’t exactly know how he feels about you.

Scratch that, he does know. He’s quite amused at the shenanigans you pull on others around you, and a lot of times, you actually elicit a few dry laughs out of the guy. Other times though, he’d wish that you would just shut the fuck up, especially when all he hears amidst his studying was your loud “whispering” and “hushed” jokes. How you were always nearby no matter where he is was still a mystery that he casually ponders about from time to time. Perhaps your natural tendency to project your voice creates the illusion that you were near when you really weren’t?

No matter, such trivial thoughts can’t occupy his mind when college entrance exams loom closer. Then again, they weren’t particularly difficult; they were simply a hassle to secure near-perfect scores, especially when his chances of admittance rely critically on how well he does.

“That’s an awful drawing of a samurai,” Susa comments, snapping Imayoshi out of idle thought.

“Ho? Is it really terrible if you were able to tell what it is?” Imayoshi chuckles. “The point of a drawing is to convey the right idea or emotion. It seems that my drawing skills hit a bulls-eye with this sketch, no?” He playfully spins his pencil around, patiently waiting for his reply to goad him.

All Susa does in response is to roll his eyes before he turns his full attention back to his notes. He knows better than to try a comeback against Imayoshi, who can easily make it backfire against the person with a pleasant close-eyed smile. Imayoshi, seeing Susa’s nonverbal resign from engaging further banter, also looks down back to his book of scribbled notes and chicken-scratch drawings before he exhales an inaudible sigh.

School just doesn’t cut out to be mentally stimulating for him. It’s a little too repetitive and mundane for his taste.

“Argh!! Oh no!” your voice rang out, despite your poor attempt to be reasonably quiet. “I forgot applications for the Coca-Cola scholarship are due today!”

Coca-Cola… what?

Everyone looks up to warily eye you, and your few friends, who are currently rushing to pull you down and slap their hands over your mouth to mute you, were panicking at the new attention you managed to garner. Even still, your mind seems more fixated on whatever was on the laptop’s screen, rather than what they were doing to you.

Imayoshi can’t help but stifle his audible mirth from how you manage to change the mood of the entire library within seconds.

“How do you even forget something as important as a huge scholarship like that?” Susa says in dismay. “Makes me kind of wonder how (l/n) would handle life after graduation, to be honest.”

“Well,” Imayoshi begins. “I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s best not to underestimate (l/n)-san. Surely we’ve learned our lesson with Seirin?” He toys with the pencil grip before he sporadically draws some lines loosely resembling another sketch.

“Drawing again?” Susa raises a brow. “Have you even been studying?”

“Well,” he replies. “There’s still plenty of time before exams—months to be exact. Could you even study with the current distractions in here?” At his own words, he nudges his chin in your direction.

“It’s not just any exams though, it’s—”

“Whether they have more importance or not doesn’t really concern me. After all, standardized testing isn’t worth stressing out for when we’ve taken essentially the same thing all our lives.”

“What most are worried about is the content inside the exams, Imayoshi,” he said, carefully treading into dangerous waters with Imayoshi’s tendency to take all replies as mind-game challenges for his own amusement.

“‘If you have been paying attention consistently throughout the year, you wouldn’t be having much trouble…’ that’s what you once oh-so-wisely said to Wakamatsu yesterday, hmm?” His mimicking tone drips a hint of arrogance. “Unless you mean to tell me my ears do not work? But by all means, please feel free to correct me.”

“That’s different,” he sighed, his face clearly evident that he was done with Imayoshi’s shit. “That exam only tested content for the past year, not your entire academic repertoire over the courses of middle and high school.”

“I’d like to think that the logic still applies the same way.”

“Well,” Susa heaves with a languid stretch. “You generally score better on the exams than me, so you’re probably right. Still, don’t neglect your studying.”

“Right, right, Susa-senpai~”

“... Please don’t call me that again.”

“... If you say so,” he said, but his smile blatantly showed his real intentions of never stopping his irritable quips. Susa gets ready to pack up his book bag before he heads out the door with a friendly wave. Imayoshi half-heartedly returns the gesture with a casual wave of his own. He immediately notices you also packed up and about to leave with a worried frown, and of course, while audibly mumbling your concerns and makeshift schedules to accommodate time for last-minute essay writing. By now, all of your friends have left for home.

“Ah, biology lab due next week, kanji worksheets due tomorrow, hmm, um, how would I finish this on time… ah, calculus test is tomorrow too, ah shit… should I ask someone to tutor?—ah, but it’s super last minute, and there’s still that scholarship… argh, fuck!” Your voice peaked in volume at the end, and the librarian immediately shot daggers at you.

“Shhhhh!”

“A-Ah! S-Sorry, sorry!”

Imayoshi was watching you with his chin on his arm propped up on the desk, unable to control the smile that escaped his lips. You really were entertaining to watch, and you never cease to bore him.

He turns away to crack his neck and roll it around before methodically packing up his writing utensils and notebooks. Soft shuffling filled the air as he rearranged the items inside his bag. As he turns to pack the last thing on the table, which happened to be the notebook filled with his idle doodling, his face slightly softens at the drawing he did after the samurai. Yes, the one Susa chastised him for when he could’ve been studying. Yes, perhaps he was right when he was terrible at drawing after all; your panicked face and wild hand gestures didn’t really translate well into paper, and it looked a little too much like a horror comic and less than a sketch of you. Still, he’s oddly proud of it.

Imayoshi promptly pushes the chair in and leaves the library, but when he rounds the corner of the adjacent hallway, he bumps into you.

“Er—hi! I mean, please, uhhh… if it isn’t too much to ask—canyoupleasetutormeforthecalculustesttomorrowbecausemyfinalgradedependsonthat?”

Imayoshi winces at the sheer volume of your voice and plugs his ears in out of habit to block out some of the decibels. Wakamatsu was eerily similar to you in that regard. Only difference between the two of you was that you were deceptively intelligent. Extremely so.

“My, my, if it isn’t (l/n)-senpai!” He fakes a surprised look, earning him an eye roll on your end. “You need someone like me to teach you the works?”

“I—what? We’re literally in the same calc class, Imayoshi,” you retort. “Besides, drop the ‘senpai’ honorific. It feels so slimy when you say it so disingenuously… Aren’t we both 3rd years too?”

“I’m so hurt,” he mocks. “What if I was really genuine with you?”

“Look, right now, no remarks from you, Evil Glasses,” you say. “It’s really, really urgent and I don’t know how to grasp the material for the class lately, plus my essay, ugh…” You rub your fingers against your temples in an attempt to make the stressful headaches disappear while Imayoshi simply watches with his eyes slightly open.

“... You usually do well on all your exams, no? Unless my eyes and memory fail me.” It was true; even though you were as loud-mouthed as Wakamatsu, you would often shock a lot of people when your name always appeared in the higher percentiles of exam results. Apparently most students and teachers associate your rowdy personality with an expected subpar academic performance. He has you to thank for when your score reports always cause reactions of utter disbelief from the teachers. You really do liven up the school and make it a lot more unorthodox.

“I guess…” you mumble. “But I really wanna do especially well for this one because math is my weakest subject, and you always score the highest for these types of exams, so…”

“It may be my best subject,” he says, leaning slightly closer to your face. “But I’m not the one with the highest scores in any math subjects throughout these years, and we both know that quite well, don’t we, (l/n)? Why don’t you come clean about the real reason why you’re here?”

“Oh my literal fuck—Imayoshi, you’re one of the best students in calc right now regardless of exam results,” you petulantly huffed, not backing down from his intimidation. Imayoshi notes your cheeks reddening, and he figured it was either because of the close proximity between your faces or the fact you were frustrated… perhaps both. “And you’re the only one around here on campus who I could ask!”

“Really now,” he chimes, moving closer to whisper in your ear. “Are you sure?” With incoherent stammers, you backed away from him, slapping your hands against both of your ears to protect them.

“W-W-What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Looks like I won this one, (l/n)-san,” he purrs, relishing the fact that only he could render you this quiet. “Ho? What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”

“I—Shut up!” you lamely shoot back. “You can just say no if you really don’t wanna do this—urgh, I’m leaving, I’m not gonna waste any more time—”

“How hurtful,” he dryly remarks, standing up straight again after leaning for a quite a while. “It’s almost as if you’re rejecting me~” He knew you would always take his bait and quip back (unlike Susa), regardless of whether or not you tell him that you weren’t going to engage further.

“As if,” you snorted, making another exaggerated eye roll. “You’re the last person who would ever be hurt from this.”

“Dear me!” he exclaims. “Have you ever considered that perhaps I don’t help out people for free? Did you think I would be a gracious, selfless person who would help you like a saint?”

“Okay, fine! Perhaps I didn’t think that far ahead, okay? You just were the first person that came to mind, and I thought asking you wouldn’t hurt.” His smirk widens almost maliciously at your words, lips already opening to deliver another irritating quip before you immediately spoke again to stop him. “Okay, Imayoshi, you little shit, just shut up—I don’t wanna hear anything from your mouth right now.”

“I don’t see any reason why I should listen to you at all,” he muses. “Why don’t you make me?” He has a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, eagerly eyeing your next move, and as he expected, you let out a frustrated noise that prompted passerby students to shoot pointed looks towards the both of you.

What he didn’t expect was for you to take a huge step towards him, unceremoniously pull him down to your level, and press a reverberating smack on his lips. His eyes are immediately blown wide open to look at your embarrassed, but determined face. His fingers unconsciously move to touch his warmed lips.

“... That was quite romantic, wasn’t it, (l/n)?” he dryly says, recovering almost immediately from the shock. All the other students fled from the blatantly bold scene to save face. Not that Imayoshi really cared.

“Okay, you know what? Bye, I’m not gonna play anymore mind games with you,” you grumble. “Essays and studying aren’t gonna be done by themselves—wah!”

Imayoshi gently tugs you back to reciprocate back a kiss, meticulously slipping his hands behind your head and on your waist to accommodate you. Your eyes are completely open from the shock that the Imayoshi Shoichi was actually kissing you. You don’t close your eyes from the sensation, completely entranced when you make eye contact with his half-lidded eyes watching your every reaction closely. The kiss ended all too soon, and Imayoshi separates himself from you, secretly admiring your dazed look.

“That was quite a strong reaction to just a simple kiss.”

“I—that was not just a ‘simple kiss!’”

“Now would you like to tell me the true reason why you approached me?”

“You’re… insinuating that you know something.”

“Well we wouldn’t know unless you come clean,” Imayoshi purrs. “I can sometimes be wrong too.”

“Ugh, what the hell—fine, I am quite enamored by you, and uh, I… find it infuriating to be with you, but it also gives me butterflies… so I thought I could be with you more… if I asked you—don’t get it twisted, though! I still need your help to study!...” He covers his mouth to suppress a laugh at your honesty.

“Was it really so hard to say that in the beginning, (l/n)-san?”

“Okay, that’s it! I’m really, really leaving! Fuck off, Imayoshi, I swear to—”

“Ho? Just a minute, darling~” he tuts, reaching to hold your hand. “Perhaps if you offer more kisses as an incentive, I’d be more inclined to offer my expertise.”

“How quaint,” you dryly reply. “It’s almost as if we’re in a relationship.”

Imayoshi can’t help but bark out a genuine laugh. You even managed to pick up some of his mannerisms so quickly.

“That’s an interesting proposal, (l/n),” he murmurs. “Should we try that?” You tut at him irritatedly as you tug your interlocked hands while speed-walking ahead.

“Hurry up, or I’ll consider breaking up with you right now.”

“Ah ha!~” he chuckles at your attitude. “How mean, (l/n)-san! Too bad that we both know that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

[kpopluvrsblog]

Im sorry professor

Requested: Hi can I request a dom teacher kevin moon fic? Also love your work!

Genre: smut

Pairing: prof!kevin moon x fem!student reader

Summary: you accidentally fell asleep in your art class....your teacher wasn’t happy.

Warnings: unprotected sex( be safe!!), dom!professor kevin and sub!student reader(student is 18), um paint play?? Rough sex, idek what else

A/n: should i make a fluff part two orrr✨ also not proofread so im sorry for mistakes

You woke up startled nearly falling off of your chair after hearing a loud bang. You had a night art class but you must’ve fallen asleep. Last night you had a long essay that was due and thanks to your procrastination you barely got it done on time.

With your heart beating fast you spun around to see that your professor had slammed the door to his classroom shut locking it in the process. Your professer was a young man named kevin moon and he was the only reason so many people took art this year. However you were in here because you like art.

“Miss y/n, would you mind telling me what we went over in class today?” He questioned as he slowly walked over to where u were sitting. “Im so sorry professor i stayed up late last night and I must’ve fallen asleep”you stated while standing up and gethering your supplies laying around the table. He cut you off by saying “no, i asked you to tell me what we went over. I didn’t ask for some lame excuse”

By the tone he was using you could guess he was angry since we were learning new material today. You turned your head to look at him as he stopped right in front of your desk. “Im sorry im not sure of what we learned today professor but i can teach myself to save you the trouble if you would like to tell me what we went over? It wont happen again.” You said hoping he would at least tell you the basics.

“Y/n you missed a whole lesson. Today we learned on how to paint ones body. Naked. Instead of telling you though i would say it is easier to show you. Just to make sure you really understand.” He stated with a teasing tone while coming around the table to stand beside you. He grabbed your arm and pushed you lightly against the desk. Trapping you between his hips and the desk, pushing his bulge against you.

“Professor i dont think-“ you started but he covered your mouth and put his lips to your ear “its kevin” his whisperd which gave you chills throughout your spine. “Kevin. I dont think we should be doing this your the teacher and i-“

“Shhh baby your only a few years younger than me. Tell me you dont want this and i will stop.” He said while rubbing his hands down your sides. You can’t deny that you have imagined yourself in the scenario more times than you would like to admit. He IS really hot. “I want this” you said breathlessly.

“Mmm i knew it” he said as he started to pull your shirt off of you. “I should punish you for being disobedient shouldn’t I?” He then turned you around and pushed your head down to the table, holding your hands behind your back with one of his. He then unclasped your bra while kissing your shoulder. “Yes i deserve to be punished” You replied.

He lifted up your skirt to see your lace panties already soaked. “Damn y/n you’re already so wet for me. This is whats going to happen. Im going to fuck you raw and use your tight little pussy to get myself off. You will not cum unless i decide i want you too. Got it?” He ended with a harsh spank to your ass.

“But thats not fair!! I should be able to-“ he ended your rant by pulling you up by your neck, pressing your back to his naked chest. ‘When did he get undressed??’ You thought. “ do not fucking question me brat. This is a punishment and you will take what i give you.” Kevin then started to rub his tip against your throbbing pussy. Keeping you up by your neck, he thrusted his whole length into you, causing you to scream.

“Your lucky school has ended early. Im going to make your throat sore from screaming my name.” He then started to pound rapidly into your tight pussy which made your knees buckle as you screamed some more. He wrapped the other hand around your waist to make sure you stayed put. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. You loved the way he was manhandling you.

“Your pussy is so tight for me baby. Mmm have you never been stretched this far huh?” He questioned. “N- no your thick cock is stretching me out so much, i love it” you mumbled while trying to hold back your tears. “Thats right baby, now let me demonstrate what we went over in class hmm?” He stopped his thrusting and stilled deep inside of you making you sigh loudly. He leaned over you to reach the paintbrush you had yet to put away. He dipped it into the red glittery paint that was set up as well.

“Lean down on the desk” kevin demanded you. As soon as you layed your stomach flat on the table, he put one hand besides your head to hold himself up. Not even a second later you felt a cold substance coat the skin on your lower back, making you gasp and moan loudly. He started to slowly thrust inside of you again as he used you as a canvas.

“Kevin oh my god please I’ve been so good. I really need to cum i wont be able to hold it” you whined as you couldn’t help but push your hips back onto his now harder thrusts.

“Fucking hold it brat. I said i would let you cum if i felt like it.” He gritted his teeth as he put the brush down and grabbed both sides of you hips, now slamming into you so hard that you couldn’t breathe properly. He was so deep inside of you, you thought you could feel him in your stomach.

“Shit im cumming baby” he growled as you desperately clenched around him, trying not to release. He quickly pulled out of you and jerked his dick until he was cumming all over your back, where he had painted not long before. He moaned loudly as he came while you whined because you no longer had him inside of you.

You started sobbing because it hurt so bad, you needed to cum. You started thrashing your hips around until kevin stopped you. “Sh sh its okay baby ill make you cum now alright?” He said softly while rubbing your hips.

“You’re so mean kevin it hurts so bad” you said still crying. He turned you around gently and placed you on top of the table. “ i know i know. Can you handle my dick or do you want me to eat you out baby?” He asked while still rubbing soothing circles into your hips. “I want your dick please.” You contined as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you. His sweet scent calmed you down as he inserted himself again, thrusting slowly a few times before gaining speed to make you cum fast. He didn’t want to go too hard since he knew you were in pain. He removed one hand from your hip and lightly began to rub figure eights on your wet clit.

This geture made you cum with a scream locking his dick inside of you with your tight clenches. As you were coming down from your high he placed light kisses along your neck and pulled out of you making you wince. He held you tightly as he started a slow make out session that last for a few minutes. “ are you alright?” He asked after pulling away. He wanted you to learn your lesson but he didnt want to hurt you in the process.

“Yes im okay kevin thank you” you replied with a reassuring smile. “You know” he said shyly “ you should come back to my place y/n, that way i can run you a nice bath and we can talk about us okay?” He finished and bit his lip out of nervousness.

“I would love to do that, lets try not to get caught walking out of here though... i look like a hot mess” you said, making you both laugh as he started to pack everything and get you guys dressed to leave to his house.

[an-absolute-travesty]

Secret Santa fic!

Heya @all-eternity it was me all along! I hope you enjoy this :) very much looking foward to actually being able to follow you after this without looking sketchy lmao

Also shoutout to my lovely beta reader @keepersandqueens as if I don’t talk about Salas enough here lol

Warnings: underage drinking, drinking in general, hangover, drugs/medication mention (not abused, basic over the counter stuff dw), mentions of vomit (not described)

Pairings: Kam, background marelinh, ex titz

About: Kam coffee shop college au 

Word count: 5,205

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @cadence-talle @ruewen-and-rising @lemontarto @a-lonely-tatertot @clearlyvacksen @percabetn @sewersewersewercouch @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @enbies-and-felonies @blxckh0les42​ @rainbowtay-11 @callas-starkflower-stew @impostertamsong @appalyneinstitute1 @stars-and-splendor @anna-without-an-e @mistythegenderqueermess @we-have-no-bananas-today @we-wont-dissapear @jadenightthewriter

Tam stumbled into his first 8 am class, anxiety making his heart feel like it was pounding out of his chest and stomach doing backflips.

If he could survive bouncing between foster homes, a short stint at juvie, and worst of all high school, he could survive college.

Well he thought he could until he saw a familiar person right next to the only available chair in the room.

God fucking damn it.

"Hey Bangs Boy!" Keefe waved him down, causing a scene. Tam had no option but to sit beside him, both because of the lack of chairs and the fact that everyone was now staring at him.

Not a great start.

"What a coincidence! I notice you still haven't taken my suggestions on your hair, I'm telling ya' you'd get all the girls and or guys and nonbinary pals with a man bun." Keefe looked smug at the fact he'd be able to taunt Tam for another semester, minimum. Tam was already making a mental note to check when he could swap out of classes.

"Keefe, if I knew you were going here I would've just gotten myself back in jail, oh wait, you were the one who got me in there in the first place." Tam shot him a look, praying that he'd suddenly develop superpowers and shoot lasers from his eyes.

"Hey, just because I came up with the idea...and helped with some of the execution, doesn't mean I'm responsible for you trashing your parents house. Besides, you were only in there for like 3 days max before you got out," Keefe said, shrugging as if 3 days in jail was no biggie.

"Most peaceful 3 days of my life," Tam sneered, turning back to the front of the room as the professor walked in.

"Good morning class!" the prof turned to the white board, writing his name. "I am Dr. Harding," he tapped it for emphasis.

The class was silent.

"And you say good mor..."

"Good morning Dr. Harding," The class said in unison, they all sounded tired and bored.

This wasn't going to be fun.

~*~

"Grande ice vanilla latte for...Hen-are-y?"

The man shot Keefe a look as he grabbed his coffee.

"Henry." He dropped a tip in the jar, fifty cents. How generous.

He had come in before, and never left good tips. Keefe made it a game to pronounce the names of anyone who wasn't a college student and left bad tips wrong, no matter how much they came in. It was a wonder he hadn't been fired yet.

As he turned preparing another drink, the bell at the top of the door rang. He ignored it at first until he heard a quiet, "Fuck," come from behind.

"Bangs boy!"

"Why are you here?"

"I work here obviously," Keefe walked up to the counter. "Now, what'll it be?"

Tam sighed. "Iced caramel macchiato with two extra shots of espresso."

"Size?"

"Venti."

Keefe whistled thinking about how much caffeine that was as he wrote down "Bangs Boy" on the cup.

"Alright, that'll be 5.75, may I ask why the insane amount of coffee? I believe I remember you saying caffeine makes you anxious in high school."

"Yes, but it also helps me focus, and I have a quiz tomorrow I haven't studied for."

"Fair enough," Keefe said, going to prepare the drink. "It'll be ready in five."

Tam nodded, walking off to the side and scrolling on his phone. Keefe made the drink, occasionally sneaking looks over at Tam. He didn't seem to notice, thank God.

Soon after, they finished the transaction.

"See you at class," Keefe said, he was trying to be genuine, but it came across more taunting.

Tam grimaced, muttered "Thanks for the coffee," and walked out the door.

~*~

The class fell silent as a disheveled Dr. Harding walked in, a pack of gatorade in one hand and bottle of tylenol in the other. He popped one as he sat down.

"Hello class it seems today I have the worst headache imaginable, just give me about 5 minutes of silence and we will go over your assignments."

Keefe leaned over to Tam's desk.

"Well, we know what he got into last night," he whispered. "Heard the bar on the corner of 5th was giving out two for ones for professors."

"Isn't that place run by the alumni?"

"Exactly. Gotta thank Alvar tomorrow, Fitz said it was his idea."

"Wait Fitz goes here too? Why did I not-"

"Boys!" Dr. Harding practically yelled. "I am tired of the racket." He put his face in his hands where his elbows rested on the desk, bald spot showing to the world.

"We were whispering!" Keefe made a 'what the hell' sort of gesture. Tam glared at him, hoping he could communicate 'I will kill you myself if you say another word' with just his eyes.

"Sencen, do I look like I care?"

Keefe winced a bit at the use of his last name. That was something Tam could understand.

"Look, boys," Dr. Harding stood up and turned to the chalkboard, writing something down. "If you all like talking so much, you'll love this next project."

He walked to the side, revealing the board, that read '10 page essay, due the 25th'

"With the person next to you, you'll be writing a 10 page essay on um...the importance of keeping your oil changed in your car. You'll then present it to the class. It's worth 25 points."

A student raised their hand.

"Luka?"

"Sir, I thought this was a psychology course?"

"It is. You are all excused."

With that, he left the room with his tylenol and gatorade in his arms. The students glared at Keefe and Tam as they all got up, muttering amongst themselves about the pure bullshittery of it all.

"So..." Keefe said, slowly standing. "Does the library tomorrow at 3 work? I have work until then, so it can't be any earlier."

"Yeah, sure." Tam promptly walked out of the classroom as fast as possible, he didn't know why but his anxiety was spiking. He tried to tell himself it was just because he was a useless gay that didn't know jackshit about cars, yeah, surely that was it.

Just a useless gay.

~*~

Tam waited at a table in the library, it was 3:05, Keefe was late.

He didn't know what else he expected from him, he always seemed to do stuff like this. At the same time, Tam didn't have the energy to be particularly mad at him. This was going to be the stupidest essay ever written in the history of man, might as well put it off.

The library door slammed open, and in came Keefe. He balanced a large stack of papers and books along with four drinks. He stumbled over to Tam and practically threw them down on the table.

"Sorry I'm late, I thought it would be nice to, like, get you a coffee, but I didn't know how much caffeine you wanted, so I got one decaf caramel macchiato, one normal, and one with an extra shot, and also hot chocolate for me."

He sat down in the chair by Tam, as if getting three different coffees for someone you were forced to do a project with was totally normal.

"Um...thanks, I-I can pay you back-"

"Don't worry about it." Keefe turned to him and smiled, bright and friendly. Tam was frozen. "Okay, now it's car time." Keefe turned back to the desk.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a while as they researched, Keefe going through his piles of papers and books and Tam on his laptop like any sane person would.

Tam finally worked up the nerve to talk.

"So um...this is out of nowhere, but I think you mentioned Fitz went here?"

"Oh, yeah." Keefe put down the absurdly large textbook that was set up in front of him. "He's my roommate, he uh thought it would be best not to tell you after everything, I guess."

"That's fine," Tam shrugged like he didn't care. "I'm over it."

He was, really. They only dated like 2 weeks, sure it ended with a...pretty big fight after Fitz claimed he wouldn't be able to date someone who had gone to jail and Tam reminded him it was his best friend that got him in there in the first place, but he was still over it. There was still something bothering him, nothing to do with Fitz himself but...something. He just couldn't put his finger on what.

"Alright, I'll take your word." Keefe shrugged, setting his giant book back up in front of him.

Tam felt the need to start talking again, but didn't. They were mostly silent for the next 40 minutes or so, just researching and the occasional word exchanged between them.

Keefe checked his phone.

"Shit," He got up. "Work emergency, I gotta go. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah that works."

"Chill, see ya' later."

"Bye."

Keefe waved (with a wide grin Tam would've called idiotic in high school) as he went out the door.

Tam found himself with a smile on his own face, he quickly stopped, hoping no one saw.

~*~

Keefe hurried into work, pulling his apron on as he saw the absurdly long line and a panicked Marella frantically making coffees behind the counter. She sighed with relief when she saw him.

"Thank God," She said as he stepped behind the counter with her. "There was a scheduling error, Forkle's useless at that stuff."

Mr. Forkle, their well-meaning but often mistaken manager, was out of town at the moment. The fate of the Starbucks rested on two college kids, what could go wrong.

And so they went, Keefe taking orders and Marella fulfilling them until there were no more to serve.

Marella, quite literally, threw in a towel she had wiped her face with. Promptly going to the back, presumably for her break. Keefe followed her.

"Alright, I think you can probably go back to whatever you were doing before this now if you'd like," said Marella, inspecting the small braids in her hair in the nearest shiny surface.

"Nah I was just doing a project with Tam for Harding's stupid class, he's probably left by now, I might as well rack up some overtime."

Marella turned back at him, clearly caught off guard at the name.

"Tam? As in my-girlfriend's-brother Tam? As in you-had-a-massive-crush-on-in-highschool Tam? As in dated-Fitz Tam? As in you-got-him-in-jail-"

"Yes! Yes! Why does everyone remind me of that, it was one time."

"When you get someone in jail, people tend to remember," Marella went silent for a second, thinking, before looking Keefe in the eye. "Wow, that must be awkward as hell, I mean seriously, if I were you I'd straight up file a restraining order just to avoid him. Maybe move to another country. I hear Estonia is lovely this time of year."

"Eh, it's not as bad as it seems. I mean it was awful at first, mostly because I tried to resume right where we left it on the taunting front, but I think it's ok now."

"Hm. Well good luck with that," Marella turned back to go to the front, but Keefe grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Uh, actually I need your advice on something. It has to do with Tam."

"Shoot."

"Well I was thinking of maybe, I don't know, asking him out or something? Look, yeah, it's an awful idea but is it 'he never wants to talk to me again' awful or 'he attempts to strangle me' awful?"

Marella looked him up and down, eyes uncomfortably cold, as usual.

"I mean, no hetero, but despite your annoying qualities you're a decent looking guy. Plus Tam's, like, super anxious according to Linh, so maybe he'll be too awkward to say no. You can probably squeeze at least one date in there."

"Wow, thanks Mare," Keefe mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I try. Also don't call me Mare."

"Alright Ella!" Keefe called as the front door's bell rang, signalling a new customer. Marella went off to take care of it, unable to respond she growled back at him.

~*~

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tam glared from across the table.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Keefe looked up, muttered a simple "Fidgety" and went right back to it, tapping his pen against the table. Tam said nothing more.

Keefe had been quiet for this entire meeting, something highly unusual for him.

"Ok, seriously dude, what's up? I haven't seen you this quiet literally ever."

He only seemed to get more fidgety at this question, his bouncing leg shaking the library table.

"I...um..." he looked down, running a hand through his hair "I have a test I need to cram for and no one to study with and keep me accountable. Y'know, ADHD issues."

Tam didn't overthink for once in his life but the moment the sentence was out of his mouth he regretted it.

"I have a test too, maybe we could study together?"

Keefe smiled his annoyingly charming smile.

"Sounds good."

"Good."

Tam quickly looked back down at his computer, trying to look like he was still doing car research when in actuality he was processing he just actively offered to spend more time with Keefe Sencen.

If Linh found out about this he'd never live it down.

He didn't think he cared.

~*~

Dr. Harding walked through the classroom door, clearly much less hungover than his last appearance.

The students waited, would they get an apology? Any sort of remorse?

"Alright, who wants to read first?"

Apparently not.

Keefe raised his hand with too much confidence for what their essay looked like. Tam gave him a confused look. He had his scheming face on, never good.

"Mr. Sencen!" Keefe winced at the use of his last name by the doctor. "What an amazing start, it's only appropriate. One of you boys come up and present."

Tam gave Keefe a look of 'do you want me to do it?' Keefe just smiled and got up from his chair. This would either be really good or really, really bad. Tam was all too familiar with the scheme face.

"Doc, I did depart from the source material a bit here, hope you don't mind. And I use 'I' because Tam had no involvement in this, he deserves full points for his essay."

Keefe cleared his throat, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Doctor Harding deserves to get fired: an essay. (And it's only been a week!) Paragraph one, his drinking problem-"

"Sencen! Back to your seat now. I will see you after class, or I will not see you in my next class, understand?"

Keefe gave a thumbs up as he sat back on his chair with a thud.

A few minutes later, in the middle of another student's essay, he passed Tam a note with his loopy handwriting.

"The amount of comebacks I had for 'see me after class' is absurd but if I get kicked out there's no way Elwin is helping me pay tuition a second time."

Tam tried not to smile, certainly failing, as he wrote his response.

"Yeah I think the time you talked back to Miss Cadence she wanted to expel you. Lucky Principal Alina had a thing for pseudo-dad Alden."

"Oh God I haven't talked to him in a whiiiiiile."

"?"

"You haven't heard? Yeah, he sorta found out like ALL his kids were ell gee bee tees and freaked out. Della found herself a new gf though!"

"Sounds like a lovely extra punch in the gut for a queerphobe."

"Yep. Honestly I recommend looking through his Facebook sometime. Just a million rants about how the gays destroy everything, great entertainment."

"Duly noted."

At that point it seemed like the doctor started to take notice of their note passing, and they stopped quickly. Tam wouldn't be surprised if he did the whole high school read in front of the class thing with the way he had been acting so far.

Tam was 100% sure tenure was the only thing keeping this guy's job intact. Apparently being a drunk asshole wasn't near enough to get a person out of their position. He tried to ignore the professor's annoyingly smug face for the rest of the class.

~*~

Keefe sat in his usual spot at the library, Tam sitting across from him, his brown eyes dancing across the textbook page and lips mumbling along the words. He didn't have much to do, often finding himself just staring at Tam, quickly looking away if he seemed to notice.

Eventually he sighed, sitting back.

"Ugh, this test is in a week and I have so much other crap to do, I'll never get this all memorized by Friday."

Keefe silently thanked his brain for managing to get around the having to study thing. Yay, photographic memory!

"Oh, uh, well I'm free to study more tomorrow if that would help? We could do, like, flashcards or something."

Tam seemed to repress a smile. He did that a lot. Keefe always noticed.

"That's okay, I'm sure you have better things to do. The Starbucks is always pretty packed."

"Eh, sometimes you have to get away from Marella. She's mean to me."

"Not just you, once she told me if I ever made fun of Linh's cat's name again she'd make me cut off my own bangs."

Keefe nodded sagely. "The shorter you are the closer to hell. That's why you're worse than her."

"Hey!"

Tam flicked a stray rubber band at Keefe.

"I'm at least 2 inches taller than Marella...we measured."

Keefe thought up about 12 inappropriate jokes he couldn't make before flicking the rubber band back.

"Two inches only counts in roller coasters, none of which you can ride."

Tam stuck his tongue out before returning to his studies. Unlike Tam, Keefe didn't hide his smile.

~*~

Tam strolled into the Starbucks that Friday morning, no longer surprised to see Keefe working the counter. He could barely hold still in line as he thought about the amount of cramming he'd have to do in the next few hours.

When he reached the counter, Keefe said nothing, just busily worked making a drink.

He stuck it right out at Tam.

"One venti iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso because you have a test today in political science and still haven't studied everything and also a muffin because you probably haven't eaten today. On the house. Good luck with the studying."

Tam froze.

"I- um- th-thaks. Y-you too...sport."

Oh, you fucking idiot.

He quickly scurried out of the Starbucks with drink and muffin in hand. Wow, he had screwed that up.

But...

Keefe...

He...

He remembered his order and that he had a test and that he forgot to eat when he was stressed holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Okay, deep breaths Tam, you got this. You can totally handle a frustratingly cute guy showing care for you this is fine...

Not fine, not fine, gotta tell Linh.

He called Linh with no forewarning. Despite the fact that she was currently across the country at a different university, and it was about 3 am for her, she picked up. He barely let her get out a groggy "Hello?" before explaining everything. She only seemed to think a moment before responding.

"Hm. Well it's good to know that college is going good for you. Do you need advice or comfort?"

"Yes."

"Well, first of all, everything's gonna be okay. And I know that doesn't help much but just try to remember we're eighteen, and it's not the end of the world. Second of all, try to ask him out or something. It doesn't have to be framed as a date, like Marella and I got together on a walk in the park, seriously it can be anything."

"Thanks Linh."

"No problem, also can you hug Marella for me?"

"If she doesn't try to kill me first, yes."

"Nice. Okay go do what you gotta do, also don't wake me up at 3 am again or else I'll sic Purryfins on you, I had just gone to bed."

With that she hung up and Tam continued on his way, still trying to not completely freak out.

~*~

Keefe stared blankly as Tam walked right out of the door. Marella appeared by his arm.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Well, he called me 'sport'."

Marella inhaled through her teeth.

"Yikes. Comfort, advice, or distraction?"

"Distraction, please." Keefe replied, absent-mindedly preparing a cup for the next customer.

"Uh, well I meant to ask you what ended up happening with that ass of a teacher, but I got a bit distracted at your attempt to woo Tam-"

"Hey I said distraction not reminder. But basically I just got a slap on the wrist because, and I quote, 'Your father is Cassius Sencen! He wrote half the books we use in this class, I'm sure he can straighten you out!'"

"There's absolutely nothing papa Sencen could do to make you straight, I'm pretty sure he tried that, and it obviously didn't work."

"He actually tried a few times and it most definitely did not. Lucky he doesn't have my number anymore or else I assure you he'd keep trying."

Marella laughed.

"Well, moving on from grade A assholes, I'm supposed to tell you there's a party tonight. I'll have to send you the address later, I have it on my phone though, I am told there's gonna be booze, so I'm going."

"Eh, I'll probably go. Just to get my mind off everything."

"Thata boy." She lifted her phone. "And my shifts over in three, two, one, and I am out of here! See ya' tonight Hunkyhair."

"That's Lord Hunkyhair to you."

She just rolled her eyes and clocked out, leaving Keefe to deal with both the customers and his own thoughts.

~*~

Tam sat in his dorm room alone, constantly refreshing his grades for the possibility that his 70-year-old professor would post the test results at 1:30 am.

His roommate was gone for the weekend, actually he was gone most of the time. Tam didn't think they'd even had a full conversation before.

He jumped as his phone began to ring, a call from Keefe of all people. He hesitantly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Tam! Tam Tam Tam Tam Tam" Keefe's slurred speech was too loud for a phone call, Tam held his phone a bit away from his ear. "...fuck wait why did I call you..."

There was a long pause, neither said anything.

"Oh yeah! I needed to tell you something...but uh I uhm I forgot what it was."

"Keefe, where are you?"

"At a paaaaaarty, well, actually just outside a party because it was hot in there, but now it's cold out here so uh yeah."

Tam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, send me the address, I'm coming to pick you up. Wait right there and don't move."

"Okie dokie."

Tam heard a thud sort of sound and the rustling of grass from the other line before Keefe hung up and soon after got a message of his location.

After 20 minutes of walking in the cold, Tam came up to what seemed to be a frat house with Keefe sitting on the lawn in criss-cross, patiently waiting in short sleeves and basketball shorts, way too little clothing for the weather. His ruddy face smiled as he saw Tam approach.

"Tam! I remembered what I was going to tell you." He stood up, face falling right after. "Oh no wait I forgot again. Ooh! You need a drink."

Keefe grabbed Tam's hand, pulling him towards the house. Tam stayed in place.

"Hey, let's get you home dude."

Keefe pouted.

"I don't wannaaaa."

He slouched down, pulling on Tam's arm like a child having a tantrum.

Tam pulled him back up to his feet.

"C'mon, if you go to your dorm without fuss I'll buy you ice cream tomorrow."

Keefe seemed much more ok with going along with Tam with the ice cream deal. He pulled off his own coat and placed it around the very drunk boy, he didn't complain.

Keefe began humming some annoying song from the early 2000s that was playing from the house earlier as they walked back in the direction of the dorms.

Suddenly, Tam remembered something.

Fitz was Keefe's roommate.

Shit.

"Hey uh do you think Fitz is at your dorm?"

Keefe nodded confidently.

"Yep! Said he was gon' study. Wouldn't come to the party because of his 'reputation' or whatever."

Around reputation he did exaggerated finger quotes, nearly knocking Tam's jacket off his shoulders.

"Hm...in that case let's go to my dorm, ok?"

Keefe shrugged, apparently willing to go along with most things in his current state. Thank goodness Linh had made Tam bring extra pillows and blankets to college, he could sleep on the floor and just hope Keefe didn't get sick on him in the night.

It was ridiculously hard to lead Keefe back to his dorm. He tried to pull down his pants halfway there and Tam almost had to carry him up the stairs but soon enough they got there. He sighed with relief as he led his inebriated friend into the room.

"Okay, you can stay here for the night. I'll sleep on the floor."

Keefe plopped himself down on Tam's bed laying flat for only a moment before sitting up with a snap and a look of realization in his eyes.

"OOH! I remember what I was gonna tell you again!"

"Oh?" Tam said playing along, expecting him to forget again.

He patted the spot next to him on the bed, Tam continued to play along, sitting next to him.

"So Marella said that I should just tell you this, and it worked for her, so I'm gonna. And uh and you have to promise to listen 'cause I'm not sayin' it again."

At this point Keefe grabbed his face with both hands, staring right in Tam's eyes and squishing his cheeks.

"You're listening right?"

Tam nodded, mostly to shake Keefe's hands off his face.

"Okay."

Keefe took in an over dramatic breath as if he was preparing to preform in the Olympics before getting another grin on his face.

"I really like you."

"You really like me?"

He nodded mumbling "mhm".

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I like you. Like, like like you."

"Like...as a friend?"

"I said I wasn't gonna repeat myself. As a booooyfriend." At this point Keefe fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Tam's cheeks were burning.

"How long have you liked me like that?"

"Mmmm..." Keefe seemed to ponder for a moment, "Prolly high school."

"Oh um...good to know. You should get some rest. I'll be down here if you need me."

"Alrighty."

Tam shut off the lights and Keefe started snoring quick. Tam could only stare up in the darkness, unable to sleep.

~*~

Keefe woke up that morning in a room he didn't recognize to a killer headache and dead phone.

He turned to the side, seeing a pile of blankets and pillows with a large gatorade, bottle of tylenol, and a note next to it. Suddenly last nights memories came flooding back.

Oh, shit.

He scrambled out of bed, headache and nausea hitting him harder as he stood up.

Despite the fact his head was spinning, he picked up the note from the ground and read it.

Hey, meet me at the reservoir around 6, we need to talk -Tam

F. U. C. K.

Had he really said all that stuff last night? Surely it was a dream, right?

Oh God.

He gathered his few belongings, plus the things to help the hangover, and left the dorms as fast as possible. Only having to stop once along the way to throw up in one of the campus trash cans, hopefully no one would notice.

Keefe didn't have anything to do and he really didn't want to face Fitz so he went about his day in last nights clothing. Then again, it was a college campus. Someone walking around with rumpled clothes carrying a gatorade probably wasn't that big of a deal for most people. By 5:30 he sat impatiently in the empty park where the reservoir was located, it was colder closer to the water.

Just as promised, at 6 o'clock he saw Tam approaching on the horizon.

~*~

Tam was damn near a panic attack as he walked around the park attempting to find Keefe. Eventually he found him, sitting on a bench still in his clothes from last night, face once again ruddy from the cold. He sat next to him wordlessly.

"So," Keefe started.

"So," Tam replied, looking down at his lap.

"Tam I-" Keefe turned to face him. "I'm sorry about everything last night, I probably just made everything super awkward. Not to mention it's a giant violation of the friend code to even have a crush on your best friend's ex-"

"Yeah, about that."

"What?"

"You're gonna maybe kill me for this but uh," Tam pulled on his bangs. "I sorta talked to Fitz about it, I figured you wouldn't and apparently I was right. He said he was okay with it as long as we were ok with it."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Tam sighed, "Perhaps."

Keefe once again wore that shit-eating grin of his.

"Can I hear you say it?"

"Why don't you have to say it?"

"Already said it last night! Your turn now. Why did you take care of me while I was drunk?"

Keefe stared at Tam excitedly waiting for the answer. Tam sighed.

"Because I love you, little shit."

"Ooh you said it-"

Tam smashed his lips against Keefe's, both quickly melting into it. After only a moment they pulled away.

"Agh, you taste like gatorade and vomit."

"Well you taste like salt so really what's worse."

"Definitely the vomit."

Despite this, Tam leaned back in. This kiss was a moment longer than the last, and when Tam pulled away Keefe chased it.

"Ok, look I'm sorry but you look like shit Keefe you have to go change." Tam removed his jacket, throwing it around Keefe once again and helping him up from the bench. Keefe laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. Ooh now that we're a thing you need a new nickname!"

"I do?"

"You do, how about 'Bangs Boyf' ooh or maybe you can be my 'provoked partner' or my 'snappy spouse' my 'agitated accomplice' perhaps."

"Do you just have these ready and prepared for any situation?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"You aren't Houdini, you're an 18-year-old boy that currently reeks of frat party."

"Eh that's basically the same thing. I've seen some 18-year-olds at frat parties preform tricks Houdini could never dream of."

Tam sighed dramatically. "It's a good thing you're pretty, you know."

"Hey!" Keefe jokingly shoved him.

For the first time Tam's smile wasn't repressed.

[enviedear]

that damn american ᶠᵒᵘʳ

you seem different

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which draco shows y/n the room of requirement, and she realizes she likes him more than she thought

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 1.6k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four

chapter four, i hope you all enjoy! let me know if you do :) also gonna rec some some songs from the playlist

f**kin’ love songs - awa and 505 - arctic monkeys

“i’m a slytherin prefect y/n, if we get caught, i know how to lie. but flitch is an idiot squib so don’t worry. now shut up and follow me.” draco grumbles.

your newest friend has proved to be surprisingly fun. in the last three weeks he’s taken you on countless adventures and tonight is no different. this evening, he’s showing you the room of requirement. 

for the whole day, he’s been impatient and ready to show you this room. you can’t blame him, you were practically bouncing off the walls all day too. it left april and sophie a little annoyed as you refused to take them along. but you’ve found it was best to hang out with draco alone, or else he gets moody.

“here we are. now, think about the room, envision it, be specific in what you want.” draco tells you.

you do as you’re told and after a minute you see a door form in the stone.

“this is amazing..” you mutter, tracing the handle.

draco grins, “well, go in.”

you open the door and step into the room, draco right behind you. you’re amazed, the room is exactly as you thought. exactly.

“is this your room? really? you could have made it anything and you make it your bedroom. i knew i should’ve picked.” draco chides.

“oh shut up. i thought you’d like it. you’ll probably never get to see the real one. and now we could do what all friends do, have a sleepover.” you say, hugging his arm.

“fine, but i expect to be shown around.” the boy retorts, stiffening a little at your touch.

you nod and let him go, making your way to the far left of the room.

“this is my desk, where i cry over summer work, mindlessly scroll through twitter, and read. i once snuck a boy over and he begged to fuck me on this desk. of course, i couldn’t do that to her, and i told him to leave.” you chuckle, stroking the wood.

“i didn’t need to know that.” draco grimaces.

you shove him, “next is my shelf of plants. these are my babies and i swear to god if they’re not being watered while i’m gone i will hex my mother. which reminds me, i should text her.”

“right beside it is my picture wall. it’s kind of embarrassing, i have super old pictures up there. i should warn you, april used to dress like a farmer.”

draco pauses at the pictures, looking at them all.

“who’s that?” draco asks, pointing to and old picture of your grandparents.

“my grandma and pa. i think they were seventeen in this picture.” you reply, looking at your grandparents smiling young faces.

“that’s cute that they were together even then. my mother thought that pansy and i would be like that, but pansy is too, well, pansy.” he mumbles.

you smile at him, “whatever you say draco.”

he sits on your bed, “i’m being serious, i have someone else in mind.”

your eyes bulge and you look at him with a smirk, “and who might that be?”

he rolls his eyes, “i would love to tell you, but i’m not ready the tell the loudmouth american.”

“i can keep a secret!”

“i’ll tell you when the time is right. for now, i want to learn how to google.”

it takes an hour. a full hour just to explain the concept of google to draco. throughout the process he keeps asking stupid questions.

‘you’re sure there’s no magic involved?’

‘you can learn anything from this?’

‘what do you mean i can’t search that?’

like you said, stupid questions.

but it didn’t really bother you. it was nice seeing the platinum haired boy learn about modern living. and it was even nicer to see him begin to enjoy yet another muggle invention.

you stare at him at he types in a search, his eyebrows furrowed and hair unkempt. he looks different than the boy you first met. almost happier and more carefree. his pale complexion has some sun from the countless hours the two of you have spent at black lake. his fingernails are also now coated in a layer of light green polish.

“stop staring at me.” he grins, turning his face toward you.

“i can’t help it.” you say, fighting back a smile.

his cheeks turn a light pink shade, “and why is that, l/n?”

“you seem different.”

“is that bad?” he asks.

“no, it’s actually really nice.”

draco bites his lip and looks back down to the computer, “i think we should head to bed, don’t you think?”

you nod your head and close the laptop, placing it on your nightstand.

“did you bring pjs?” you ask him, reaching under your bed for your own bag that holds your sleepwear.

“um, no. why would i have brought them? i didn’t know i was sleeping here, l/n.”

you stick your tongue out at him, “i think i have some of quinn’s old clothes in here. hold on.”

you rummage through your drawers, trying to find clothes to fit draco, until you finally come across an old wampus annual bake sale tee and some black and orange flannel bottoms.

you turn around, only to find your friend shirtless.

your mouth opens, ready to tease him.

“oh please, i can’t sleep in a shirt.” he groans.

and you can’t help but to look at his chest and torso. he’s so muscular and lean. but before you let yourself be sucked into fantasizing about your friend, you throw him the pj bottoms.

“i’m gonna change in the closet, you can stay out here. just let me know when you’re done.” you say, rushing into the closet.

you change quickly, but stay inside for a bit longer, thinking about draco. 

your sweet, sarcastic, quidditch loving, spontaneous dickhead of a friend. and it’s then you realize that draco is not just your friend. 

you actually like the guy. 

and you’re about to share a bed with him. 

this should be great, but you’re too scared to ruin the friendship between the two of you. the one you’ve worked so hard for. 

when draco shouts that he’s done changing you quickly compose yourself and slip into your bed, right beside him. he turns off the lights with a simple flick of his wand and eases next to you.

“you don’t snore, do you?” he asks.

you feel his legs, wrap between yours and for a second you forget to answer.

“oh um, shit, i don’t know.”

he huffs and pulls you into him, pulling your curls away from his face and onto the pillow.

“goodnight draco.” you whisper, suddenly deathly aware of the close proximity between the two of you.

he rubs your back, “goodnight l/n.”

__

when the you wake up, draco is still beside you, arms around you and face nuzzled into your neck.

it takes a few minutes but he finally wakes up, separating from you. 

you miss his flushed face as you go to the closet to change, and he doesn’t pay attention to your stuttering each time you look into his eyes.

“i have to study for charms today. i’ll see you after lunch though, i think blaise wants us all to head to hogsmeade.” draco says, as the two of you slip out of the room of requirement.

“alright, sounds good. i’ve been meaning to try butterbeer.” you smile, avoiding eye contact.

when the two of you enter the common room, you’re greeted by april and blaise, who are playing a game of wizard chess.

“hi y’all! did you have fun last night?” april asks, staring down blaise’s king.

“um, yeah. it was really cool. i’ll have to show you and soph sometime.” you say, taking a seat on the armchair.

“merlin april, hurry up, you play like my grandmother.” blaise chuckles.

the dirty blonde smirks at him before making a move, “checkmate, zabini.”

blaise gives her a smile.

“come on zabini, let’s head to the library. i have a bloody charms essay due.” draco tells him.

blaise rolls his eyes, “sure, but i don’t know why i need to come.”

draco scoffs, “if you want to do your essay with crabbe then be my guest, i was just trying to be nice.”

blaise looks over to the fire, where crabbe is burning the tip of his wand. the brown eyed boy scratches the back of his neck before getting up and following draco out of the common room.

“he’s so cute.” april breathes out, staring at the door the boys left out of.

“zabini?” you ask, confused.

“yes girl. and he’s so funny. and sweet. i told soph last night that i wanted to take him out on a date. and i think i’m gonna,” she looks at you, eyes begging. “will you pretty please double date with us this evening at hogsmeade. sophie said no.”

you furrow your eyebrows, “i’d love to but i don’t have anyone to take along.”

she gives you a deadpan look.

“what?” you question.

“you’d take draco. i know you’re just friends, but if you talk to him i’m sure he’d be fine with it.” she says.

you sigh, “i’ll ask, but no-”

she interrupts you, “oh thank you honey! i love you y/n.”

you don’t tell her about your crush on the grey eyed boy. even though you’re dying to get it off your chest. 

but it’s probably for the best. he said himself last night that he has someone in mind. and what good would it do telling him, it might ruin the friendship. even if he did like you, there’s only so much time in a year until you’re back in american. i just couldn’t work.

even if you really want it to.

‘fucking great.’

[devinescribe]

Back Then

Part 9 to '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

"Hey, call me back when you get this, or um... when you have a minute. I know you're busy, but... just... call me when you get the chance," your voice softly said through the phone. It sounded like you had been crying. He sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair. "Fuck... (Y/N). She really needs me right now, and I'm at work. Damn it," he cursed, leaning back in his chair.

You had to go up to Iwate, as your mother had called the night before in tears saying your grandmother had passed away. He knew how much pain you were in. You were always close to your grandmother. He quickly dialed your number, putting the phone up to hear ear, listening to it ring. He tapped his fingers on the desk anxiously, reading through the paper that explained the basis of what the game was so he could have a distraction. He heard you pick up. "H-hello?" You sniffled. "Hey (N/N), how are you holding up?" He asked. He heard you laugh softly. "Not well at all, if I'm being honest. I wish you were here with me," you said, your voice shaky. It pained him that he wasn't there. "I wish I was there to help you, but I really can't... I'm so sorry (Y/N)," he said. The door to the office opened, and he turned quickly, seeing his coworker. Niragi pointed to his phone in apology. " 'Ragi... can we video call later? Please?" You asked. "Yeah, yeah... we can do that. I'll call you later, I promise. I have to go though. I'm so sorry again (N/N)," he said, trying to excuse himself without sounding rude. "Ok... thanks for calling. I know you're at work, so thank you for making time for me... Bye, love you," you responded. He could hear the tears in your voice. "No problem. Love you too, bye," he responded(is that... weird? Because I do that my friends, and I just- I don't know-.) The line disconnected, and he dropped his head into his hands.

"That your girlfriend?" His coworker asked. He had forgotten they were in they room. Niragi lifted his head from his hands, and shook his head. "No. She's my friend," he responded. "Oh. You two much be close then?" His coworker questioned. Niragi nodded. "Did something happen? You seemed to be fustrated at something," they observed. "Oh, no.... it's just that her grandmother passed away, and she's... she's handling it. But, it's hard on her, as expected. She keeps saying how she wishes I was there to help her, but I really can't," Niragi explained. This coworker of his was one of the pleasant ones. One the ones who did their fair share of work, and wasn't annoying. So, by that logic, Niragi didn't mind them. "Oh... that sucks. My condolences to her..." they said sincerely. Niragi knew they didn't really know how to... people correctly. What that mean was, they were kind of awkward, but so was he. Maybe that's why they didn't really get in each other's way. "Maybe you could say it's a family emergency? If you're that close with her, of course." They suggested. They walked over to his messy desk, pointing at a picture. "Is that her?" They asked. Niragi nodded. "I think that was from... oh gods... two summers ago? Yeah..." he muttered. "I mean, it's probably not a good idea to lie to the boss, but if you're that worried, I think it's a justified lie," the said. Niragi nodded, but didn't say anything, getting lost in his thoughts.

"I um... I came to give you this. The client changed their mind about a few things," they said, placing a folder of papers down. "Oh you've got to be fucking joking me," he groaned, before quickly apologizing for his language. Sure, if he was alone in his office he'd swear, but there was someone else in the office now. That wasn't exactly work appropriate. "No, no... that's... that sums up everyone's reaction. Especially since we were so close to being done... well, I'll leave you to it," they said, leaving with the soft shutting of the door. He sighed, picking up the file, reading through the changes. He tried to concentrate, but his mind was elsewhere. You had taken time off before to help him, so why couldn't he? What if he did what his coworker advised? He made up his mind quickly, not really thinking of anything other than the fact that right now, you needed him. And you were always there when he needed you. You always took care of him, even when you didn't need to.

He dialled your phone number again, this time, it was a video call just like you asked. "Hey," you voice greeted him. You were in what he assumed to be your bed at your grandmother's house. "'Hey. So... I may or may not have lied to my boss about something, so if he asks, promise you'll go along with it?" He asked. "Umm.. depends," you responded. "Ok, I'll tell you in a second. Just... come open the door it's freezing out here," he said, a small smile on his face. Your eyes lit up, and you dropped the phone running downstairs. He could hear your footsteps, and ended the call. You opened the door, and hugged him tightly.  He almost stumbled from your attack, but hugged you back. "I- I thought you had- had work?" You questioned, drying the tears that had started. "Yeah, so... if my boss ever asks... um... just-" he stuttered. ''What did you tell him we were married?" You laughed. "Not... exactly?" He hesitated. "You told him we were engaged, didn't you?" You asked. "I needed to come up with a believable lie, and it was the first ting that came to mind, please don't be mad," he explained nervously. "I'm not... thank you for doing... all of that to come here. I really appreciate it," you said, bringing him inside. Your mother hadn't made it yet, as she was on a trip in America. She'd gotten the news over call, so you were alone in the house. Well, that was until Niragu showed up, but you're glad he did.

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was the middle of the night, and you couldn't sleep. There was always something keeping you up. You threw the blankets off of your body in frustration, standing up. You walked into the kitchen, and grabbed a cup, filling it with water. "What are you doing up so late?"

You jumped, dropping the glass. It shattered on the floor, spilling water and glass everywhere. You looked up to see Niragi. "Haha. I can't sleep," you explained, picking up the larger pieces of glass. "Well that sucks," he said, leaning on the counter. "Yeah, I'm going to go on a walk to see if I get tired," you said, drying up the water. "(Y/N), it's night time," he said. You finished picking up and nodded. "I'm... well aware," you responded confused. "You're a woman... going out for a walk... at night. Alone," he reminded. You sighed looking down. He was definitely on the right track. "Right... uh, I'll just go to my room then... we don't have plans tomorrow do we?" You asked. He shook his head. "You know what? No, come on. I'll drive you around, yeah? Let's see if we can find something to get you tired," he said, grabbing his keys off the counter. You grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Can I get my hoodie? It's cold," you asked. You were in a tank top and a pair of spandex. "Yeah. I'll be in the car, don't take too long," he said, leaving.

You quickly ran to your room, throwing on your favorite hoodie. You also grabbed a pair of tennis shoes from your closet, slipping them on. You snatched your phone from your dresser, putting it in the pocket of your hoodie. You ran to the front door, locking it, and closing it behind you. You ran out to his car, opening the passenger side door. You felt the warmth from inside the car, and goosebumps appeared on your skin. You got in quickly, shutting the door as you did. "Ready?" He asked. You nodded, and he began driving.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, it's the moment of truth, which mental breakdown thing will we do today?" You questioned. He laughed. "It's 2 in the morning, we're drunk, and having mental breakdowns. Twinsies~" he said. You laughed, leaning on him. "No but seriously, cutting my hair is a big no, so tattoos or piercings?" You questioned. "Both. Let's go!" You shouted, grabbing his arm. "Woah Woah woah. Before we go, what do we do if a cop pulls us over?" He asked, being serious. "Nothing. ACAB bitch," you giggled. "Ok, and I'm driving-"

-----------------------------------------------------------

All in all, you two had moments that seems like you were the main characters of the whole world. Of course, during high school you two were cautious about what you did, seeing as you still had to worry about your bullies and fathers. But after high school? Oh, no. You two were the kids that didn't have to study for the test because you were to smart. Staying out at parties and keeping perfect grades was your guy's thing.

You two would stay up doing projects out of your own ambition. The essay was due in a month and needed to be 3 pages? You would both finish and turn it in the week it was assigned, and it was 13 pages. Of course, that was a problem, seeing as you would extend yourselves past your limits. It was a thing you were taught to do as children to be overachievers because you would do anything to please your parents. Even if you knew they would never be pleased.

Maybe that's why your previous relationships hadn't worked out. There was 4 in total.

The first broke up with you because he didn't like Niragi. What did they want you to do? Drop your childhood best friend? No way.

The second cheated on you. Niragi had warned you, but you didn't listen. He had said that he thought you were cheating on him with Niragi.

The third turned out to be a manipulator, which you caught on to quickly. He tried to manipulate a girl who grew up with an abusive father, who takes forensics and psychology classes. So, in short, he was a dumbass.

The fourth... the fourth was just annoyingly clingy. He didn't want you to talk to other guys, and didn't let you as independent as you wanted to be.

One thing they all had in common though, was that they didn't like Niragi. They expected you to drop your best friend for them, something you wouldn't do, and didn't plan on ever doing.

"What are you thinking about?" Last Boss whispered next to you. It caught you off guard, and you jumped. "Ah, sorry... just... thinking about stuff. Nothing important," you said. He nodded, going back to whatever he was doing beforw. Niragi smirked, nudging you with his elbow. "You got Last Boss to talk to you? Oh he must like you a lot," Niragi teased, rather loudly. You rolled your eyes, and you heard Last Boss scoff. "What are you? The guys from high school?" You said. His face scrunched up in disgust, and you saw his hands grip onto his gun. You cautiously moved away slightly. "Don't compare me to them," he spat. You nodded your head to his gun. "Then don't act like them."

[crutchie-with-a-y]

Hiya Sophie🥰 how are you? Could I please request Jack Kelly x reader where he’s being touchy and begging for them to love him but reader is busy with school so they don’t give him enough attention? And then Jack gets super quiet and when reader is done with hw, reader feels super bad about not giving Jack enough attention, they treat Jack with cookies they’ve made and talk about this and the two of them end up cuddling the whole night sharing sweet kisses. Jack lays his head on reader’s chest🥺

Hey! I’m doing pretty good, what about you? Thank you for the request! Sorry for the wait, I’ve been a little pre-occupied, but I hope this is something like what you had in mind! <3

“Haha, yeah we’ll see you later, Finch!” You laughed and waved as your friend said his goodbyes and turned down his street. 

“Oh thank GOD he’s gone!” Your boyfriend, Jack, said as soon as Finch was out of earshot. You and him and about a dozen other friends always walked home after school together, one by one peeling off from the group as they reached their streets. Finch was the third to last to turn onto his street, which left you and Jack to walk the rest of the way to your homes, (which is actually how you started dating in the first place). Jack, who was usually happy to have friends around, had seemed restless to get away from the group today, and once he was positive Finch couldn’t see or hear you, he pinned you against the stone wall the two of you were passing on the sidewalk. He passionately kissed you and for a moment you completely lost yourself in his rough lips that tasted of cherry coke and the cigarette he had shared with Race at lunch. Then you reminded yourself that you had some homework to complete and a test to study for. 

“Jack,” You gasped when he pulled back for air and began to nibble at your ear. “Jack, Jack I don’t have time.” Jack pulled back without removing his hands from where they held your wrists against the wall and squinted at you.

“What are you talking about?” You snapped your wrists forward and glared at him as you began to walk again, him following at your side with the same look on his face.

“I have homework.” Jack stopped completely and you turned back to look at him. 

“The fuck you don’t,” Jack said, obviously pissed at you, and that was rare, so it made you pretty uncomfortable, you had to admit. “You finished your math in class, you told me at lunch. Your history project isn’t due for a literal month and you’re already almost done with your poster. You wrote this week’s homework essay for English on Monday night.” He walked slowly, listing everything off on his fingers. 

“Well there is more math,” You said defensively, as the pair of you turned a corner onto your block. 

“More math? What the-oh my god the EXTRA CREDIT PACKET?!” He looked at you like you were insane and you bit your lip and looked at the concrete. “Y/N, you’re a straight-A student. You don’t need the extra credit. And even if you still wanted it ‘just in case,’“ He imitated you as he followed you up the stairs to your front door. “You literally have all semester to turn it in, and it’s FRIDAY. It’s FRIDAY! Can we not just relax and do couple things for ONCE.” He said, turning around to look at you while you shut your front door behind you. You glared at him. He KNEW how important school was for you and how much you stressed about getting all your work in on time, why was he being so rude about it? 

“I also have science,” You responded, pushing past him and into your dining room to pull your laptop and textbook out of your bag and set on the table. Jack loudly threw his bag on the table in front of you and headed into the kitchen. 

“Please tell me your kidding,” He said, popping open a can of Pepsi. You flipped through your textbook pages angrily, upset that he didn’t seem to get it. 

“No, I’m not kidding.” You said sharply, only turning to look at him once you’d said it, just able to catch the sad, exhausted look on your boyfriend's face. You felt guilty, but before you could apologize, his face hardened again.

“Y/N I WAS UP TILL 3 AM YESTERDAY HELPING YOU WITH YOUR SCIENCE PROJECT. HOW DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO?” He yelled, which made you shrink a little as you typed your password into your laptop, but then your blood boiled. 

“YES AND I AM GRATEFUL FOR THAT, BUT THERES A TEST ON MONDAY-”

“ON MONDAY?” Jack stepped up on the chair next to you and sat on the table and closed your computer in an attempt to get you to look at him, but you just crossed your arms and stared at the logo on the top of your computer. “Y/N, please, you can study all weekend for that, when your parents get back? Cmon, right now we have a little alone time and I really need-” 

“Everything to be about you?” You whipped your head up to look at him. His eyes looked hurt, but you weren’t going to take it back. 

“No, I’m sorry, I just, I’m really-”

“Annoying.” You glared at him, and then it was Jacks' turn to shrink, but he didn’t boil back, and you felt a twinge of guilt. “Look, just, just give me an hour.” You opened your laptop back up while Jack slumped over, flicking his pop tab in defeat. After a few minutes of the “tingggggg” noise echoing in the quiet room, you reached over, without looking up from your screen, and placed your hand on top of his fingers to stop the flicking. You kept it their longer then you meant to, and Jack rubbed your knuckles with his thumb, lightly squeezing your hand. You pulled it away abruptly, and wouldn’t let yourself look at the heartbroken look on his face. 

Awhile later your phone buzzed for what felt like the thousandth time from your laptop bag and you couldn’t take it anymore. You ripped your bag across the table and dug around for it in the front pocket. 

“Why the hell do you keep calling me?” You said sharply into your phone. 

“I was calling to ask you why the hell Jack has been active on Instagram for the past three and a half hours?” Katherine matched your tone on the other end. You pulled your phone back from your ear to look at the time and cringed when you realized how much you’d gone over your hour. Jack had walked off into your bedroom what you thought was a few moments ago but was actually two hours ago. You were still annoyed though, and Katherine being so nosy didn’t help.

“I don’t know,  he just is,” You said snarkily. “I’m studying,”

“Your parents are out of town and you SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY are studying on a Friday night instead of spending time with your boyfriend?” She sounded shocked, and you didn’t appreciate her judgment.

“Look, Kath, I-”

“Especially after he got fired yesterday.” Your heart dropped.

“Wait, what?” You prayed that you had misheard her.

“Yeah, I guess he forgot to call in yesterday, so when he didn’t show up his boss told him to, and I quote, ‘not bother showing up anytime after that either.’“ Katherine explained exasperatedly. You wanted to vomit. “Wait, how did you not know about this?” 

“Um, ahhh, I gotta go,” You said, standing up quickly and hanging up as you walked towards your bedroom. You slid your phone into the pocket of your jeans and lightly tapped the closed door to open it a smidge. Jack was sitting on your bed, on the phone with someone, his back propped up against the wall, looking out the window with his forearms resting on his knees which were bent up so his feet were on top of your comforter. You pushed your door open a little more to see that he had taken his shoes off so he didn’t get dirt on your bed, which he knew you detested. A small smile pulled at the edges of your cheeks; even who he was upset with you, he went out of his way to please you. He was so selfless. Your smile fell. And because of that selflessness, he had ended up sacrificing his job to help you out. You looked back at your laptops glowing screen in the dark dining room, the blue light reflecting off the cover of your textbook. School stressed you out so much. So, so much. You had always been a very good student, but a slight dip in your performance the semester before had lead to a stern talking-to from your parents that made you absolutely terrified to get anything lower than a perfect 4.0.

You looked back at Jack, who was still on the phone, flicking paint out from under his nails, oblivious to you in the doorway. He gets that, you thought to yourself. Jack understood the pressure from your parents and the immense fearful stress school put you under. Jack was always willing to be a supportive boyfriend, no matter how hard you made it. 

“Oh yeah, no (he’s/she’s/they’re) busy studying right now. (He’s/She’s/They’re) really stressed about school,” Jack said into the phone. “Hey, hey, (his/her/their) parents are really strict and put on a lot of pressure, it’s not (his/her/their) fault. Besides, I’ve never seen you turn in homework once so shut up.” Oh my god, You thought, feeling yourself tear up. He was literally standing up for you over something that you had just argued about, and on top of it, he didn’t know you were watching him, so he did this out of sheer integrity. You let your guard down for a second and let out a loud sniff, and immediately darted behind the door, hoping he didn’t see you. He continued talking to whoever it was he was on the phone with, causing you to let out a sigh of relief. Then you just stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. You peaked around the door again, just as he started to laugh.

“Hahaha, yeah me too, I haven’t had dinner yet, I’m starved.” For a moment you felt even more guilty, knowing he was waiting for you to eat, but then you felt a light bulb click on over your head. You headed into the kitchen and began to quietly open and shut cabinets, gathering the ingredients you knew you would need to surprise Jack. Your boyfriend was often fairly mysterious, but one thing everyone could tell you about him was his obsessive and at times even frightening love of snickerdoodles. As you quietly dumped cups of flour into a bowl, you couldn’t control the small giggle that escaped your mouth as you remembered what an important role snickerdoodles had played in your relationship.

“You have some snickerdoodle crumbs on your lips,” Jack had said after diving into the cookies you had made for him on his birthday. But before you could reach for a napkin, he had stopped you. “Actually, let me take care of that.” And the next thing you knew you were having your first kiss with Jack Kelly. 

You carefully pulled the pan of cookies out of the oven and slid them onto a plate. You clicked the oven off and picked up the plate, your hands protected by polka-dot oven mitts. You knew you should probably wait for them to cool, but you were too impatient. You walked over to your bedroom and bumped the door open with your hip. Jack’s phone call had ended awhile ago, and he was laying on his back on your bed, his knee propped to support the notebook he was drawing on with the stub of a pencil. He looked up when you walked in, and quickly set aside the drawing materials.

“Snickerdoodles?” He looked at the plate and then back up at you. “I always welcome humankind's best invention but what is the occasion?” 

“A sincere apology,” You said, you had practiced what you were going to say while you were baking. 

“Oh no, I’m sorry, you don’t have to-” Jack started, shaking his head.

“No, I do.” You said, setting the plate on your comforter and gesturing for him to take a cookie. “I was being a self-centered asshole, and for that, I am so deeply sorry.” Jack began to shake his head again as he slowly broke his snickerdoodle in half.    “No, I was.” You said, sliding your hand under his chin and lifting it up so he was looking you in the eye. “I am so sorry about your job, Jack. That was completely my fault and I take full responsibility. I promise I will call your boss and try and talk him into taking you back, and if he won’t I will find you another job. A good one, that you like. I promise.” Jack set his cookie back on the plate and turned his head away and swallowed hard. You moved the plate to the floor and reached your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to you.

“You are just so selfless. Truly, the sacrifices you make for everyone else, without a second thought amaze me. If you lost your job to help me with a science project, I cannot imagine the other things you have given up to make other people even the slightest bit happier.” You heard Jack choke into your shoulder, and you planted a soft kiss on his head. “You are the best person I know, Jack Kelly.” And with that, your boyfriend let out a broken sob and his shoulders began to shake as he cried. You slowly leaned back on your bed so that Jack’s head rested on your chest and his tears dripped onto your T-shirt. You rubbed his back and kissed his head, careful to be delicate. Eventually, his sobs stopped and the two of you sat in connected silence. 

“Where are those snickerdoodles?” Jack sniffed. You laughed.

“They’re on the floor.” You lifted your arms so he could lean down and get them. He picked the plate up and set it up over your shoulder, grabbing the one he broken in half earlier. He kissed you sweetly before laying back down on your chest and nibbling on the cookie contentedly. You looked down at him with a warm smile on your face and in your heart. 

“I love you, Jack.” 

“I love you too, Y/N.” 

[yikesharringrove]

so i just read Flowers for Yikes and i really love what you guys are doing! If you're taking requests, I'd love to see a college/university au with lines 4. “I… think I love you.” + 17. “I’ve gone through some real shit in my life, but… you make my present and future seem so much more brighter.” you know i love you!

@xgardensinspace we’re famous omg.

Thank you for your request! I am always taking requests, I love doing them so much. You’re so sweet! ily!

4. “I… think I love you.”

7. “I’ve gone through some real shit in my life, but… you make my present and future seem so much more brighter.”

I love a good college/university au. This is also modern au 😊 (feat. dyslexic Steve bc of course it does, it’s me)

Read on AO3

Prompts!

Flowers for Yikes can be found here! Written for me by @xgardensinspace

Steve was gnawing on a pen.

He was sitting in the chair outside of the tutoring rooms in the library. He had a standing appointment with Billy, easily the smartest undergraduate tutor in the joint, but also easily the most gorgeous man Steve had ever seen.

He was totally jacked, thick in the most delicious way with long curly blonde hair he made a show of sweeping into a bun with one of the many different colored scrunchies he owned. He had these eyes that made Steve melt, blue and kind and sharp in a way that made Steve go hot every time they were trained on him.

Billy also had a reputation, horror stories of people going to him for help and winding up in tears as he told them their papers were shitty, that they were idiots for doing their math homework incorrectly, that they should drop out now, save their parents the money.

But he was always so gentle with Steve, softly explaining where he went wrong, how he good make his arguments stronger, giving him tools like an online citation generator when Steve was too confused and down on himself for not remembering how to create an MLA 8 citation.

Maybe it was because Steve had cried and called himself stupid the first time they met. Steve hoped it had something to do with the tightness in his gut whenever Billy’s eyes met his and his face lit up with a smile.

The door to their regular room swept open and a freshman came out, face beet red, clutching papers covered in Billy’s red scrawl. Steve shot up, gathering himself and heading into the room.

“Jesus Christ, Pretty Boy, it’s good to fuckin’ see you. Some people on this campus are idiots.” Billy was leaning back in his chair, rubbing his hands down his face in a long-suffering way. “So what have you got for me today?”

“Well, I, um. This one is kinda, kinda different. It’s for that stupid seminar I have to take for my core credits, and its-we had to write about what makes us the most insecure, so I need you, I mean, just read it and don’t focus on, on what it says.” Steve hadn’t wanted to show Billy this work, but they met up at 8:30 every Tuesday, and this paper had been so emotionally draining on Steve, he needed to see Billy and for once in his life, didn’t have any confusing assignments to try and work out.

“Okay, I’ll be real gentle with ya.” Billy smiled at him, the softest one Steve had ever seen from him.

Steve handed over the stack of papers and plopped into the chair adjacent to Billy’s, each sitting on either side of one corner.

Billy scanned through the document quickly, his eyes sliding from side to side.

“Shit, Stevie. This is really good.” He looked up at him. “I’m not blowin’ sunshine up your ass, this is genuinely really good.” Steve was beaming. Billy was definitely nicer to him than anyone else he tutored, but he had never actually called Steve’s work good before. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re dyslexic?” Steve’s face fell.

“It’s fucking embarrassing, man. I can’t read for shit.”

“It’s not embarrassing. It’s something that makes you really fucking strong. I see the way you bust your ass in school. I feel like I coulda helped you better if I had known.”

“My dad was always, really pissed off about it. He never let me get tested for it, just said I was lazy, or said I was just stupid. I only got tested when I came to college and could do it without him knowing.”

Billy’s brow was furrowed.

“FUCK your dad. Fuck him. You’re not stupid. You literally have a learning disability. You are not stupid. Do you understand me?” Billy was looking into Steve’s eyes like he could crawl inside his brain and MAKE him understand.

“I-yeah. I understand. Thanks, Billy.” Steve smiled at him, just a little one.

“Okay, so, let’s make this paper really kick ass. So you begin by explaining what it’s like in your brain when you read or write. I think for this introduction, leave any typos there are, really solidify what it is like for you before things like me or spellcheck get in there to fix it. It’ll really send the point home. And I think you should add what you told me about your dad. It’ll make a better transition from that into how stupid you have always felt you are, even though THAT’S not fuckin’ true.”

Billy continued on, making a few marks on the paper, explaining his ideas to Steve and making comments debunking anything Steve had said about himself in the paper.

“Okay, I think that’s all I got for ya. When’s she due?”

“Friday.” BIlly’s left eyebrow went up. “I know, I’m usually such a procrastinator. This one was really easy. Probably because I have a lot I’m insecure about. Hardest part was to pick one.” Billy’s face scrunched up again. The timer on Billy’s watch went off, signaling the end of their hour. “Thank you for your help though, man. I really appreciate it.” Steve packed up his documents, touching Billy’s arm before he turned to leave.

“Steve, you’re not stupid. It’s really important to me that you know that.”

Steve turned.

“Thank you, Billy. I’ll see you next week.”

Steve got an A and a smiley face that read “Great Work!” on the paper. He was ECSTATIC to show Billy his good work, what he had helped Steve achieve. At 8:30 the following Tuesday Steve bounded into the room and flopped his smiley essay down.

“I got an A! Billy this is the first time I’ve gotten an A on a writing assignment! The professor said showing how hard my dyslexia makes it for me was really smart! That was your idea! Thank you!” Billy stood up with STeve, bringing him into a bearhug.

“Fuck, Stevie. I’m so proud of you.” H released him and they both sat. “This really was all you though, I gave very little input into this piece for you. You got this A for us.” Steve beamed.

“Billy, I really wanna thank you for all your help this semester. I’ve gone through some real shit in my life, but… you make my present and future seem so much more brighter.”

Billy gawked at him.

“I… think I love you.”

“Sorry, what?”

Billy’s face went bright red.

“I’m sorry, this is probably really fuckin’ weird, but I’ve had a stupid huge crush on you since we started tutoring, like, six months ago, and after I read this paper last week, and you let me in more, I just. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, and I would like to, if it’s okay, maybe like, take you on a date?”

This is the first time Steve has ever seen Billy look unsure of himself.

“I, sorry. You want to go on a date? With me?”

“Yeah. Sorry, did I just make it weird? You’re just so happy and it was really cute, and I’m sorry if I misread or if you’re not into guys or-”

“I WANNA GO ON A DATE WITH YOU.” Steve had never been the most articulate. He felt like he was gonna explode from his skin. “I’ve actually had a crush on you too. I wanna, I wanna go out with you.” Billy lit up. It was beautiful.

“Okay! Okay, you uh, you have my phone number. I’ll call you this week? Maybe we can, what are you doing on Saturday?”

“I’m free all day! Whatever you have in mind is, I’m down for whatever.”

“Okay! I’ll give you a call. It’s, um, it’s a date.” They smiled at each other. “Can I kiss you, or is that like, is that too forward.” Steve melted at Billy asking permission.

“No, that’s-fuckin’ kiss me.” Billy launched across space, connecting them together. His hands cupped Steve’s face as he smiled into their kiss. Steve’s hands trailed u Billy’s muscular back to his neck. Both boys were grinning as they pulled back for air.

“If you don’t get outta here, Pretty Boy, I’m gonna jump your bones right here, right now.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Billy rolled his eyes.

“Here I am, tryna be a gentleman and shit, and here you are, making me want to throw all that right out the window.”

“Well, maybe if Saturday goes alright, you’ll get to. I am a classy broad though, you gotta wine and dine me first.” Steve winked, pulling his backpack onto one shoulder. “I’ll see you Saturday then, Bill.”

“See you then, Sweet Thing.” Steve melted at the nickname.

It was gonna be the beginning of something, real nice.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 27 of 26

Title: How Long ‘Til Black Future Month? (2018)

Author: N. K. Jemisin

Genre/Tags: Short Story Collection, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Dystopia, Magical Realism, Steampunk, Cyberpunk, Post-Apocalyptic, Female Protagonist(s), LGBT Protagonist(s).

Rating: 8/10 (Note: This is an average of all the stories -- see below the cut for individual story blurbs/ratings).

Date Began: 9/27/2020

Date Finished: 10/4/2020

I really liked this collection! Jemisin wrote my favorite fanstasy/scifi series ever with The Broken Earth trilogy, and I really enjoyed her recent novel The City We Became. I was in the mindset for shorter fiction so decided to read this collection of short stories. Of these 22 stories, my absolute favorites (9/10 or higher) were:

The City Born Great - 10/10

The Effluent Engine - 9/10

Cloud Dragon Skies - 9/10

The Trojan Girl -10/10

Valedictorian - 9/10

The Evaluators - 10/10

Stone Hunger - 9/10

The Narcomancer - 9/10

Too Many Yesterdays, Not Enough Tomorrows - 9/10

Sinners, Saints, Dragons, and Haints, in the City Beneath the Still Waters - 9/10

A more detailed summary/reaction to each story under the cut. WARNING: IT’S LONG.

1. Those Who Stay and Fight - 8/10  

Describes a utopia called Um-Helat that exists solely because no one is seen as superior or inferior to anyone else. Over time we learn it's a future, or potential future, of America. But America today is pure anathema to it due to rampant structural inequality. In order to achieve its utopian ideal, Um-Helatians have to root out and destroy people corrupted by the past.

This story was apparently written as a tribute/response to the Ursula K. Le Guin story “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”. I first read this without context, then went and read the Le Guin story. I definitely see the parallels. Both feature a narrator describing a wonderful utopia in the midst of festival, trying to convince the reader of the place's existence, before introducing something dark that is the price of the utopia. In the Le Guin story, the utopia exists at the price of the horrible misery and suffering of one child, and everyone is aware of it. Most live with it, but a few leave for the unknown rather than continue to live there (hence the title). In Jemisin's story, the price is instead the annihilation of those tainted by exposure to the evils of the past. The choice, instead of leaving, is for those tainted yet capable to become protectors of the new world, or die.

The thesis is pretty clear: that only by abandoning horrible ideologies and refusing to give them any ground or quarter can a utopian society truly exist. I will say that rings clear, especially when one considers Naziism and fascism. Not all ideologies deserve the light of day or debate, and even entertaining them as valid allows it to take hold. I liked this story, though it comes off as a social justice essay more than a story in and of itself.

2. The City Born Great - 10/10

This one is told from the perspective of a homeless young black man who feels a strange resonance with New York City. He meets a mysterious figure named Paulo, who tells him the city is about to be born as a full-fledged entity, and the man has been chosen to assist with its birth. However, there’s an eldritch force known simply as The Enemy that seeks to prevent this from happening.

I've read this one before since it's the prologue to The City We Became. And honestly it was one of my favorite parts of that book. New York City is a phenomenal character. I love that the proto-avatar of NYC is a young homeless black man, one of the most denigrated groups out there. Cops being the harbingers of eldritch destruction is... yeah. It was fun to reread this. The ending is a little different, because in the novel, something goes terribly wrong that doesn't happen in this short story. There is also a flash forward where he is, apparently, about to awaken the avatar of Los Angeles. Makes me wonder if that is ultimately the endgame of the series. But otherwise it's the same thing with absolutely phenomenal character voice and creativity regarding cities as living creatures. I'm glad Jemisin expanded this idea into a full series.

3. Red Dirt Witch - 7/10

Takes place before the (1960s) Civil Rights Movement in Pratt City, AL. The main character is Emmaline, a witch with three kids. A creepy figure called The White Lady comes to visit and steal one of her children.

I love the little twist that The White Lady is a faerie. And the different take on rowan/ash/thorn instead being rosemary/sage/sycamore fig. There is a lot of touching bits about the horrible trials and human rights abuses during the Civil Rights marches (which are unfortunately all too relevant still), but ultimately a hopeful glimpse of the future of black people in America, though hard-won.

4. L'Alchimista - 6/10

Stars a Milanese master chef named Franca, who fell from glory for Reasons, who now works as head chef at a run-down inn. She feeds a mysterious stranger, who then challenges her to fix a seemingly impossible recipe.

This one was fun and charming. I thought the food (and magical food) descriptions were very vibrant and interesting, especially the last meal. I can tell this is an earlier story and it's pretty light hearted, but I enjoyed it. It felt like it needed a little more of.. something.  

5. The Effluent Engine - 9/10

In an interesting steampunk take, Haitian spy Jessaline comes to the city of New Orleans to meet one of its foremost scientists. Her goal is to find a viable, unique energy source to strengthen Haiti in a world that wants to see her nation dead.

I really liked this; it's one of the longer stories so there's more time for character development and worldbuilding. And it's gay. I'm not hugely into pure steampunk because a lot of it comes off as very... samey (hyper Eurocentric/Victorian, etc) but I thought this take was fresh.

Like much of Jemisin's work, there is a lot of racial under and overtones; this one specifically goes into the terrible atrocities committed against the Haitians during their Revolution, and the varied social classes of black/Creole people in New Orleans at the time. A lot of this is stuff I was unaware of or knew very little about. I thought it was interesting to bring all of these to the forefront in a steampunk story in addition to the dirigibles, clockwork, action, and subterfuge. Also, everything tries together in a very satisfying way by the end (the rum bottle!), which I love in short fiction.

6. Cloud Dragon Skies - 9/10

Takes place in a post-apoc future where some humans evacuated to space while others stayed behind and took on more indigenous traditions to heal the Earth. The sky has suddenly turned red on Earth, and some representatives from the "sky-people" come to study it and figure out why.

I really enjoyed this little story; fantasy/scifi fusions are my jam, but science fiction specifically told through a fantasy lens is just so cool to me. The cloud dragons were very interesting and imaginative. Also, I love how the opening statement's meaning isn't particularly clear until you read the whole thing.

7. The Trojan Girl - 10/10

This one is about sentient computer programs/viruses that struggle to survive in something called the Amorph, which is basically a more advanced, omnipresent version of the Internet.

Holy fucking shit was this a cool story. Probably the coolest take on cyberpunk I've ever read. The main character Moroe has formed a messed up little family of creatures like him who live and hunt in Amorph's code, but can upload to "the Static" (real life) if needed by hijacking human hosts. The way this is described is so damn creepy and unsettling. I love that while they're anthropomorphized, the characters are mostly feral and compared to a pack of wolves. Soooo much wolf pack imagery. And the ending is so fucking good and imaginative.

This was apparently a proof of concept story that Jemisin decided not to adapt to a longer series, which I'm kind of sad about, but it was REALLY cool nevertheless. The next story is apparently in the same universe and serves as the "conclusion".

8. Valedictorian - 9/10

This one is about a girl who is, well, top of her class in high school, and the stresses that mount as graduation approaches. But while it seems like a familiar setup, there is something decidedly Off about everything, which is revealed gradually over the course of the story.

I originally gave this an 8, but honestly I couldn't stop thinking about it so I boosted it to a 9. It doesn’t become clear how this connects to the previous story until the midpoint. I liked this one because it functions as a nice dystopian science fiction story but also biting social commentary on the modern American education system. I'm not going go say more on it because spoilers. While I personally like the first story more I think this is an interesting followup/conclusion with a more cerebral approach.  

9. The Storyteller's Replacement - 6/10

This one's presented as a traditional "once upon a time" fable told by a storyteller narrator, about a shitty despotic king named Paramenter. Desperate to prove his virility, he eats the heart of a dragon, which is said to be a cure-all for impotence. It's successful, but the six strange daughters that result seem to have plans of their own.

Not really my cup of tea-- it's pretty fucked up. But it's definitely cathartic by the end, which I appreciate, and I do like how creepy the daughters are.

10. The Brides of Heaven - 5/10

Framed as an interrogation in an offworld colony called Illiyin, in which a terrible accident occurred on the way that left all the adult men dead. Dihya, who lost her only son to an alien parasite, is caught trying to sabotage the colony's water supply for reasons unknown.

I like some things in this story. I love the trope of alien biology affecting human biology in unexpected ways. I'm not terribly familiar with Islam but thought it added an interesting faith vs practicality vs tradition element to the science fiction. However I found the sexual body horror REALLY squicky which turned me off the story as a whole.

11. The Evaluators - 10/10

Stylized as a collection of logs and excerpts from a First Contact team of humans visiting and studying a sapient alien species to potentially set up trade relations. There's a focus on one team member named Aihua and her conversations with one of the aliens, but there's miscellaneous important hints/excerpts from the survey that hint Something Creepy Is Going On.

This one was BIZARRE and took me two reads to fully appreciate, but it’s a great work of nontraditional science fiction horror. Just... the epitome of "*nervous laughter* 'what the fuck'". I can't say more without spoiling but dear lord. That whole Jesus bit hits different on a second read. Fucking hell.

12. Walking Awake - 7/10

Takes place in a dystopian society in which parasitic creatures known as Masters keep a small number of humans alive to be flesh suits for them, which they take over and trade around at will. The main character Sadie is a human "caretaker" responsible for propagandizing and raising well-bred human children that eventually become the Masters' hosts. She starts to have disturbing dreams when one takes over the body of a teenage boy she was particularly attached to.

This is apparently a response to Robert Heinlein's The Puppet Masters, which I have never read. It's a full damn novel so I probably won't. Google tells me it's about parasitic aliens, but was obviously also Red Scare paranoia about communist Russia. The argument in the Jemisin story is that the parasites are a result of human folly in an attempt to punish/control people their creators didn't like. This went poorly and resulted in the whole world being taken over.

The story itself is disturbing since the victims are innocent children, but it's ultimately about standing up and taking the first step toward revolution. I felt pretty neutral about the story itself; perhaps I would have liked it more if it was longer and I had more time with the world and protagonist. I wanted to connect to Sadie and her maternal relationship the boy who got killed more. Or maybe it's more impactful if you're familiar with the Heinlein novel and can see the nods/digs.

13. The Elevator Dancer - 7/10

A very short story that takes place in a Christian fundamentalist surveillance state. The protagonist is an unnamed security guard who occasionally sees a woman dancing alone in the elevator and obsesses over her.

I like this one but I'm not sure if I really get it. It's heavily implied the dancer is a hallucination, and the narrator gets "re-educated" but it's all a little ambiguous. I think it's about the struggle to find meaning and inspiration in an oppressive world.  

14. Cuisine des Mémoires - 8/10

This one's about a man named Harold who visits a strange restaurant that claims it can replicate any meal from any point in history. He orders a meal which his ex-wife, whom he still loves very much, fixed for him years ago.

This one was certainly different, but I really like the idea of food-as-memory, especially because that's an actual thing. This story just takes it to an extra level. Honestly this story made me feel things... the longing of memory and missed connections/opportunities. Jemisin did a great job with emotion on this one.

15. Stone Hunger - 9/10

Stars a girl in with the ability to manipulate the earth who's tracking down a man she senses in an unfamiliar city. It's heavily implied the world is in a perpetual post-apocalyptic state. When she's caught damaging the outer wall of the city to break in and injured/imprisoned, she's aided by a mysterious, humanoid statue creature with motives of its own.

I have to say it's really interesting to see an early beta concept of The Broken Earth. Orogeny is a little different (and not named)-- there's some kind of taste component to it? Though that's possibly unique to the main character? While hatred of orogenes exists I don't think it's a structural exploitation allegory at this point. Ykka + proto-Castrima existing this early is pretty funny to me. People also use metal, which is VERY funny if you’ve read the series. But I was thrilled to see stone eaters were Very Much A Thing this early and almost exactly how they appear in the series (a little more sinister I guess. At least the one in this story is. I think he basically gets integrated into the Steel/Gray character in the final version).

Anyway as a huge fan of The Broken Earth it's inspiring to see these early ideas and just how much got changed. It's hard for me to look at this as an independent story without the context of the series. I think I'd like it due to the creative setting and strange concepts, but I appreciate the final changes to narrative style and worldbuilding, which really made the series for me.

16. On The Banks of the River Lex - 8/10

Death explores a decaying, post-human version of New York City. He and various deities/ideas created by humans are all that survives in the future and they struggle to exist in the crumbling infrastructure of the city. But Death gradually observes new and different creatures developing amid the wreckage.

I liked this! Despite a typically bleak premise the story is very optimistic and hopeful for the future of the world post-humanity. I like anthropomorphized concepts/deities/etc in general. I thought the imagery of decay and life was gorgeous. Also octopuses are cool.

17. The Narcomancer - 9/10

Told from the perspective of Cet, a priest known as a Gatherer, who can take the life of someone through their dreams in order to bring them peace. When a village petitions his order to investigate a series of raids conducted by brigands using forbidden magic, Cet joins the party. However, he is troubled by his growing attraction to a strong-willed woman of the village.

This apparently takes place in the Dreamblood universe, which I have not read and know nothing about. However, I really enjoyed this story. It's the longest in the collection so I felt I really got to know the characters. The dream-based religion and fantasy was captivating to learn about. It was also romantic as hell, but not in the typical way you’d expect. I thought the central conflict of a priest struggling between an oath of celibacy and his duty to do the right thing (bring peace to someone who needs it) was fascinating.

18. Henosis - 4/10

A short piece, told anachronistically, about a lauded, award winning author on the way to an award ceremony. He gets kidnapped, but there's Something Else going on.

Honestly I get the sense this one is personal, lol. I will say I like the disturbing play on expectations, but I didn't connect much with it otherwise.  

19. Too Many Yesterdays, Not Enough Tomorrows - 9/10

Follows a group of bloggers who have found themselves caught in isolated quantum loops. Their only human contact is through tenuous online conversations with each other. Styled as various chat logs and emails interspersed with the thoughts and perspectives of Helen, a young black woman who before the loop was teaching English in Japan.

This one is real depressing and definitely Social Commentary (TM). The central thesis about loneliness and disconnect at the end made me pretty dang sad. Good stuff in an ouch kind of way and made me think.

20. The You Train - 6/10

Told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator talking (presumably on the phone) to a friend about her struggles adjusting to life in New York City. She regularly mentions seeing train lines that either don't exist or retired a long time ago.

This is the kind of story I'd normally really like. I think trains are interesting and like vaguely supernatural, inexplicable shit. The one-sided phone call is also an interesting narrative device. But I'm not sure I really got this one. It comes off as vaguely horror-y but also optimistic? I couldn't really figure this one out, and it was too short to feel much investment on top of that.

21. Non-Zero Probabilities - 7/10

Luck has gone completely out of whack in New York City. Highly improbable events suddenly become way more likely, both good and bad. This story follows a woman named Adele and coming to grips with the new ways of life this brings.

I liked this one well enough but I don't have a lot to say about it. I liked how the story looks at how people would adapt to a life where probability doesn't mean anything anymore.  

22. Sinners, Saints, Dragons, and Haints, in the City Beneath the Still Waters - 9/10

A magical realism story about a man named Tookie struggling to survive in New Orleans in the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. He meets a talking, winged lizard and the two help each other out. But it soon becomes clear there is something sinister lurking in the flooded ruins of the city.

This story was very imaginative and a great cap to the collection. I thought it was an intriguing time period to set a magical realism story in. I love the little details, especially those of omission -- the "lizard" is never called a dragon, for example. I can see echoes of this story in The City We Became, especially the themes of cities as powerful entities, vague eldritch fuckery centered around hatred, and certain people being guardians of the city.  

[thewestmeetingroom]

Looking to the Future of LGBTQ+ Identities in Eastern Europe and the Slavic Diaspora

Broadcast Jan. 9, 2021 - 58:12

SPEAKERS

Rebekah Robinson, Gala Mukomolova, Damir Imamović, Mateusz Świetlicki 

[Into Music]

Rebekah Robinson:  Hello, and welcome to the West Meeting Room. On today's episode, hosted by me, Rebekah, one of the producers here, you'll hear part of a conversation that I moderated titled, Looking to the Future of LGBTQ Identities in Eastern Europe and the Slavic Diaspora, which took place on Zoom on Monday, November 2, 2020, and organised by the Slavic Languages and Literatures Department here at the University of Toronto. I sat down with writer and poet Gala Mukomolova, Dr. Mateusz Świetlicki, and musician, Damir Imamović, to discuss the role of culture and activism in the community as they look toward the future. I would like to thank professors, Dragana Obradovic, Zdenko Mandušić, and Angieszka Jezyk, for putting together this conversation and inviting me to moderate. The bios for these accomplished speakers will be available in this episode’s show notes.

Rebekah:  I've been really looking forward to this conversation over the past few weeks. And so, I'm hoping in order to get started, that each of you could briefly tell us about the context in which you're coming from, and the work that you do. And if the cultural context from which you're coming from influences your work in any sort of way. I know, we've mentioned that a little bit during your bios. I'd like to get into it a little bit more. And let's start with Gala on this one.  

Gala Mukomolova:  Okay, sure. Um, well, I am primarily a writer, and that's what I do. I write a lot of astrology things.

[chuckles]

And that is, I mean, I feel it's interesting already, just to think about like musicians and philosophers and rebels, and literature scholars as a point of conversation around world events. I think that I came to astrology writing sort of by circumstance. And I've mostly tried my best because it's very commercial and I work for a major syndicate to subtly or unsubtly move large masses that would otherwise be un-politicized by my like weekly astrology writings. And all my writing work that's more creative or personal, like the essays or the poems that I write, are very influenced by my upbringing, and I guess, just where I'm at, right. So I was raised, but, I mean, I was born in Moscow. My family's Jewish. We had to immigrate to Brooklyn, around the wave time that everybody else did. 1992 / 1993, I was raised very much in, in a kind of, like, understanding of difference as marker, right. So it's like the idea that who we are is always in relation to who we are not, or history. And I think that what I'm interested in, actually, in this discussion is, is learning more about people who are in place. Like I think I come from, my writing comes from being displaced. And, yeah, I don't know, I feel like there's so much, I mean, it's just who we are always influences what we make, right? I think that I also am very invested in a queer post-Soviet perspective, and that's really particular because I, I have an okay relationship with my family now, but I was disowned for many years and didn't speak to them. And the idea of being like, queer, or lesbian was antithetical to being Russian, to being Jewish -- Russian Jewish, because we're like, Well, you know, like, when you're, when you're a Jewish person from Moscow, but like, my family doesn't identify as Russian. They identify as Jewish. So it's like a particular thing to say, but, um, I think understanding the amount of disavowal that happens amongst like, how people come to define themselves. Like, with my family, being like, “Well, you know, if you're choosing this aspect of yourself, then you're not one of us, right?” But the “one of us” mentality has to come from a fear that you need to keep being like, non-Western. I'm just, like, kind of like creating this idea of devotion to the to the national idea. I don't know. So, which doesn't claim you, right, the national idea which doesn't claim you. So like, Russian people for so long, did not really claim Jewish people as one of their own. And yet, like to be clear, like Jewish Russia is to create a disavowal from the country that you come from, which we actually disavow to begin with.

Rebekah:  Thank you so much, Gala, I think that's, I like the idea of, you know, or I find the ideas fascinating about being displaced within, like these different communities. You know, and I know you mentioned your work with astrology. And I'm hoping that you can about how these sort of intersections and ideas maybe even play into like contributing to your writing these astrological pieces. And as well as just know who we are is in relation to who we are not. Like, that's especially prevalent in today's politics throughout Eastern Europe and throughout the world, really. You know, everyone's trying to juxtapose themselves. And there's this fear of othering. So, I hope we can touch on that in this conversation as well. Let's move over to Damir, if you could introduce us, tell us a little bit about the work that you do. And if you find that your cultural context is influencing your work as well.

Damir Imamović:  Thanks Rebekah. No, yeah, of course. I was born in 1978, during the time of Socialist Yugoslavia. And probably, mostly the kids at that time, end of 80s, I was what 10, 11, 12 when the war, when the dissolution of Yugoslavia started that I, 14, 13 and a half, something like that. So I somehow feel that most of us who are coming from that geographical area , we we carry this mark and this, most of our interests of that generation, or are of those generations are still colored by this, you know, traumatic event that happened in Yugoslavia. In the beginning, I started playing music during the war when Sarajevo was under the siege. I was in a shelter. And us kids, we were bored basically, so I had to do something. You know, you can't go out you can't do much. And some days, you cannot even go to your apartment upstairs. And I picked up a guitar and started learning songs. And, but actually, and of course, traditional music was always big around me in my family of traditional musicians. But I also, my first songs that I fell in love with were, you know, rock and roll, jazz. It was 90s. So, the whole Nirvana. But somehow in Bosnia, in Sarajevo, especially this sevdah traditional music, which was strongly rooted in Slavic oral culture, but also had a strong Turkish Ottoman Empire influence was always around, you know. So I just, I woke up as a 20 something year old and realized that I know all these songs. You know, in the day, I even use them not only as songs, I speak in that way sometimes. You know, they're some little pieces of those songs, some parts of it, I use it in everyday speech and it's so much a part of me. And then I realized only actually several years back that I was always interested, because this trauma really formed me. And my primary school class completely dissipated when the war started, you know, and suddenly, we became strangers. And that's why even today, I'm still probably quite close, closer to my friends from primary school, because I was in seventh grade when we started, then with later on high school, friends and university friends and other people. And I realized that without me knowing that all of my themes I was really interested in, you know, like, after high school, we have this system where we write at, like, a final paper in high school. Some kind of a diploma or something. And, of course, the University the same. And just when I look back, I realized that all of these things were actually connected to the same topic. And it is, how is it possible that people become strangers to one another, you know, when I, I never had the problem, intellectual or artistic with people being, you know, foreigners, people being unknown to one another. And you discover something that you don't know, but this very feeling that due to some act of politics, history, whatever, you become stranger. You become this foreign person, you know, and of course, coming out is a big part of that. Because it's, you know, the situation when you have some friends, you have family, and after coming out, and that's what a lot of LGBTQ people know, you suddenly become somebody else and you're still the same fucking person. But there's this estrangement, or whatever the word is in English, that happens, you know. So a lot of what I do is is kind of colored by that. Even without me knowing that I - That's actually one thing I'm rediscovering about what I do. But I have, you know, I always had diverse interests. I always loved literature, history, philosophy. Music was just a part of it. And after studying philosophy in Sarajevo, I had my ideas of pursuing a career as a philosopher means mostly sitting at one place and thinking, anyway. But I was lucky enough that I, just by chance, I was offered a gig as a musician, and I did it. And it was a big success. And I just felt that that's what I love doing, you know. And of course, later on, after that, I realized that I don't have to give up on my intellectual interest, you know. But I can still write, I can still, you know, research stuff and, and I realized that you have to, if you have an opportunity, you have to take over this place in mainstream society and speak with a different voice from there. You know, it's not, because mostly, I mean, the whole of Balkans, meaning former Yugoslavia, plus other countries in Eastern Europe, is actually today a place people are mostly forced to leave if they want to live their dreams, you know. And I remember this, this first Pride parade in Sarajevo last year at which I played. There was one moment when I literally wanted to cry. And that was when I saw all these guys and girls, queer couples of all kinds who are from Sarajevo, usually, both of them, you know, from a couple they were both from Sarajevo, but they've been living in, I don't know, all over the world for 15 plus years. And then they came back for that particular date was such a strong message, you know? So that's just for starters.  

Rebekah:  Absolutely. Thank you so much. I feel like you brought a lot of food for thought. e\Especially, I like the concept of how even within a specific region, you know, you become a stranger to one another through force of trauma, but also how that can also impact how LGBT people are also impacted as well. Especially when coming out from to their families or to their society, to their communities, on how you can even be ostracized and a kind of stranger in that way too. So, I hope we can explore that idea of being considered other and this estrangement that you mentioned later on in our conversation. How about you Mateusz?.

Mateusz Świetlicki:  That's a difficult question. First of all, I want to say that I absolutely love my job. I love everything about it. It gives me satisfaction for a number of reasons. But before I say few things about these reasons, let me answer the question. Because your question was about, you know, the personal experience. I think that we cannot escape our personal experience at all. In order to, you know, succeed. You need to combine your personal experience. You need to stay, you know, truthful to your own self and your heritage and your identity. And, I was born in Poland. I lived in Poland when I was a child. I also lived in Germany. I also live in Louisiana, Shreveport, Louisiana. And I decided to stay in Poland. I decided to stay here because I do have hope. And I think that sharing my experience, sharing all of the things that I know. Sharing my you know, vision of the world, can actually help my students. And I absolutely do use my experience when it comes to my writing. When it comes to my teaching. When it comes to my writing, I have a degree in Slavic studies and Ukrainian studies and in American Studies. And I published a few things about Ukrainian literature, about Polish literature, about American literature. I try to write some things about gender, about men studies, about masculinity studies about queer things. I tried to find some queer themes in Ukrainian literature, but I always, I've always been interested in children's literature and YA literature and popular culture. I find this trash culture to be extremely inspiring. Now I'm working on a project on North American children's literature. By North American, I mean both American and Canadian. But, I'm writing about literature books written by Ukrainian and Polish authors. I mean, second, third, fourth generation Ukrainian / Polish authors. So books written in English, but books about the experience of being Polish, the experience of being Canadian, the experience of being Polish Canadian. The experience of being Ukrainian Canadian, experience of being Ukrainian, in Canada, and so on. So I think I'm trying to somehow combine my expertise. Like, I think this is the perfect topic for me, because I'm using everything of my knowledge. So I can use my Slavic studies, background, and my English studies, American Studies, background. And every single time when I want to write about, let's say, memory. When I want to write about something else, I always end up thinking about queerness, I always end up thinking about the ways in which sexuality or gender are, you know, constructed in the literature or film. And I think it is connected to my identity, you know. This topic, I cannot escape this topic, you know. I absolutely cannot escape this gender theme, and it's difficult to do that in Poland. And when it comes to the last few years, when you hear your president saying that LGBT is not people, LGBT is ideology. When you hear politicians saying that we have to make sure that gender ideology and the so called LGBTQ ideology doesn't destroy our children. And there's always the child to use as this political, you know, tool. It's, on the one hand, it's challenging to write about such topics. But on the other hand, I find it so fascinating and stimulating, intellectually stimulating. And I think that we should resist. And this leads me to what I said at the beginning of my little speech. My students, teaching is fascinating, really, and inspiring. And my students are absolutely brilliant. I am so privileged to be teaching a number of really intelligent, clever young people who are sick and tired of this situation. Who grew up in Poland, with the internet around them, who grew up traveling, you know, going on vacation to various different places. And there are queer individuals who want to live in Poland, and who want to, and who are proud or openly gay, or lesbian or transgender, and they don't care. And they don't want to move to America or to Canada or to Germany. They want to stay here and they want to make a change. And what I hear my students tell me that my classes made them want to fight. I'm shocked because I always think that my classes are ideologically neutral. So I always think that I'm not really that political in class. But it turns out that while I'm not trying to be political, I am political. So yesterday, my wonderful graduate student told me that during one of like, random classes, like ethics of academic work, stuff like that -  I taught them about the phenomenon of angry white men in America, like Trump supporters. And someone, and I didn't remember that, I just used some basic examples of books, and I, and I asked them to come up with a list of Works Cited. And then she told me that because of this little class, the entire group, read that book. And that's why I find my job to be really, my profession to be really inspiring, because I can teach. I can write and my students really inspire me. So I, every single class influences my writing.

Rebekah:  We'll tease that out, for sure. I really enjoyed this idea of Polish people who want to remain in Poland because that's like their home, you know. And just trying to make it a place. I think that's going to be one of the ending questions, you know, what are their hopes for the future? How can people you know, move to this place where they can build a society and build an area where they can be completely themselves. And so I want to hold on to that idea and bring that up a little bit later. Thank you. Gala, I wanted to go back a little bit to talk about your astrology workings. And I want to see how might your traditional Slavic values, maybe that you have been surrounded with ongoing in your life, how you maybe incorporate them a little bit into your writing astrology? Or how even being part of a diaspora community, how that might influence your work when writing about astrology?

Gala:   I'm just feeling inspired a little bit by all the hopefulness. I think that, I'll say this. I think that when I came to astrology as more of a work than a hobby or an interest, so much of it has to do with the fact that in ways I was raised with astrology, it's like a shared language with my family, because it's pretty similar in Russian or post-Soviet culture. Soviet culture, as it is in the West. That said, I don't know. I think that as Mateusz was speaking, I was thinking about, you know, what it means to have pride in place, or like a nationalistic love. I think that I was very much raised without it. Very much raised without place, and in some ways, like a kind of - like, I feel like I was raised in a refugee Jewish community, which had a lot of pride in the fact that they came from a Jewish lineage. And also, at the same time, kind of had no God, and no rituals, no practices, right? No, no prayers that we knew. And so, most esoteric practice was sort of memory based. We light a candle on this day, we don't wear shoes in the house, I can't tell you why. You know, things like that were just sort of based on like a rule, a rule you inherited that you follow blindly. And so for me, I think astrology as I got older, and as I found, safety and pattern was a place where I could connect to all these different types of rituals and understandings about the largeness of the universe, without being completely far away from where I came from. And I do think that now as I inhabit this world. And like the astrology world, is kind of a world because they're, you know, on a, on a level of who's creating it and how there are just so many social media facets. So many different types of writers, many different types of people who are offering the same thing. But I do think that astrology is inherently invested in like the domino effect or the collective effect, right? So there's this idea that what happens there affects us here, right? That the sun is not shining on one side of the planet, for no reason at all. And that there is a continuation, and also that there is a story that happened before us and is happening after us. And I think that being in a lineage of people who were moved toward the collective, who sacrificed a great deal for the collective is information. Like I don't think that I was raised to believe in the collective. Like I actually was, I was brought into a country, I was brought into your country with this premise that now we'd like that we would have individual lives, right. And that being said, I was then raised in this sort of, in a tense, what an astrologer might call a kind of square between two planets aspect between people who actually wanted to escape a collective, authoritarian, totalitarian really, rule, and people who actually valued collective ideology as more righteous and more ethical. So this idea that I wasn't just myself, I was part of my family and I wasn't just part of my family. I was part of a lineage of people who survived numerous mass genocides, you know. I wasn't just, I wasn't just learning to live in a country for myself, but at the same time, also, one could never go back to what those collective ideas and beliefs lead us, right. So that tension, that place for me is a lot of the place where I write from as well. I think when it comes to astrology, because I think that astrology has always been political, has always been, you know, used in rulerships of presidents and kings. So I think that there's a sense that the, the stars that you might be interested in, in terms of like your love life, or whatever, like your new job, are also the same stars that if one were to believe it so, are impacting the people who make it hard for you to get that job. Make it hard for you to be present in your love life. I think that if I can use whatever medium I have, that maybe people seek for just gentle comfort or some sense of accompaniment, some sense of like, pleasure or relief, if I can use that medium to let people know that not only are they connected to a larger picture, but that larger picture is also connected back to them and their daily behaviors and their daily lives and what they think about, then maybe I'm doing my job.

Rebekah:  Absolutely, that's actually really beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I think this idea of using different creative mediums, whether that's through astrology, with your music, finding ways to connect, to connect these different themes and different ideas that are inherently political, that we sometimes don't always see as being political and reaching a larger audience that might otherwise not choose to engage with it. So, thank you for sharing that. And then speaking of music, I wanted to go back over to Damir and ask, you know, how do you take this genre of music of sevdah, and how might this traditional music make sense, and how do you incorporate that? How do you speak to this modern world in which you're producing this music? I'm wondering what that looks like for you?

Damir:  Well, there are many ways of course, and the very act of doing that today, at least at a time when I was beginning 16 / 17 years ago, the very act of doing that was in a way that you know, I was already, you know, quite active in, as a student in many feminist and queer organizations. I was already, you know, doing different stuff. And I remember some of my friends told me, come on, you're a young hip guy. You should do jazz or rock or pop or stuff like that, why would you do sevdah? You know, because sevdah was similar to the folk music in United States. You know, or country music was some kind of, you know, popular, extremely popular music, but it was some kind of a redneck music. One part of it was some kind of rural community music, you know, not all of it. And, but for me, I always saw other things in it. You know, I saw how important it is. And, and it was actually at the time end of the 90s beginning of 2000s, when actually quite a lot of music, musical groups or individuals started to see, like - I remember this, they were really good at the beginning, actually from Poland. So, they were doing Polish folk music, but in a really punk way. On the on the other hand, on this kind of research side, I completely feel what Gala just said, about finding some structure in this whole you know, crazy crazy world. And I remember when I was a kid, I read a poem by Rita Mae Brown and she said at some point, like you know, she's having cancer, she's queer, and she had so many layers of her personality and her body and her everything, but she said at some point like, which one of me, of I's, will survive all these changes? You know, what will be left at the end? So, I feel that what God said that this need to find some order in this crazy world, and for me, it's it's music theory and scales of this sevdah music because it's when you see it from that point of view, it's actually sevdah music, as a lot of Balkan music, is situated between two worlds. Two worldviews of music you know, one is a Western European, and another one is this oriental, usually Ottoman history gave us this, this oriental way of thinking about music, you know, which is different. And it's not like, completely different but they, you know, that they're places where they connect. So when you do theory, in Bosnian, in sevdah music, you're constantly with one leg you're in this Eastern world of hearing music and thinking about harmonies, melodies, and everything. And at the same time you're doing, you're doing it in the western medium. For me those scales and teaching them, researching them, and then teaching them and trying to find some order in that is also a way of doing that, you know. And of course, there are a lot of, you know, everyday usage of music in many ways. And that's sometimes with artists, it's hard to control it, you know, what your music is. How you convey it. And how will people use it.

Rebekah:  Thank you so much for all that. I did want to ask in terms of like your music, are there any themes or ideas that you try to incorporate, like modern themes into your traditional folk music? And how do you incorporate those, like, what kind of language and stuff do you use, especially considering the, I guess, the traditional structure of the framework of music, how you choose to go about doing that?

Damir:  Well, when I started doing it, I realized that this music was codified in the socialist time, in the time of famous socialist radio stations. So, there was a time when this, in former Yugoslavia, every different ethno national groups had their own cultural expression. And I realized that behind that there's a, there's just a peak of an iceberg, you know. A huge, huge, there's a whole iceberg of music, you know, that we just see the top of. And I realized that, that's why that's where I wanted to go. And there I found a crazy humane, everyday, everyday world of old recordings, interviews, everything, you know. And I was especially happy to find, and I used it in this exhibition I curated in 2015, in Sarajevo, where I can try to portray the history of this music behind what people usually know, through, you know, all the different materials. And I included many, you know, of course, queer stories, all the different other things that were just left out of official histories, you know. But for me, my idea, talking about writing about this music and researching it was, I never wanted to write the queer history of sevdah music. And I've spoken to many of my friends who are, you know, queer activists, or activists in different fields. And they taught me that, you know, if you do only this "small thing," you become some kind of expert in queer stuff, and that's your field. In that way, I realized that there is no history of music. Nobody, it has never been written by anyone on any, not even a positivist stupid, dumb, you know, kind of a book. And then I said, Yeah, I'm gonna write a history of the music. I have to take this mainstream position, you know, and push it. And my music and what I do artistically is completely different. And I, to be honest, I have no control of that. I was lucky enough to be invited to do music for films and theatre, a part from my scene of the stage work and performance quite early. And I started in 2007. And when I realized that I can do that. I can write, you know, when you work, in so called in functional music, which is theater, film and stuff that you have a director, you have a need for a particular music, you know, in a scene. So nobody asks you: What do you like? You have to do that, that as a craftsman, you know. You just do what's needed. So when I realized, you know, I can write the rock and roll song, I can arrange for chamber quartet, that I can do stuff for a choir and stuff. Then I realized, maybe there's a way for me to write sevdah songs, you know, because it's been decades since new sevdah songs kind of appeared. And that's how I started in 2007 and writing for myself and other people. My first song was traditional lyrics and my own melody. It's called Dva Se Draga Vrlo Milovala: Two Darlings Caressed Each Other. And that's a beautiful lyrics about two souls in love, but of course, mother and father forbids it, so they have to separate and they die and they buried them together, blah, blah, blah. It starts with this gender neutral description of two darlings. You know, Dva Se Draga Vrlo Milovala, for those of you who speak language, you recognize the pattern. And, there's been a lot of these songs in the history of sevdah genres and neighboring genres of music, but they were abandoned because they were, you know, modern culture didn't tolerate this gender neutral. So they become male and female, in the second part of the song, after mother comes in, and prohibits the marriage, or them being together, you know, and everything in this song separates into, you know, into genders, into graves, into everything. So I was so inspired by the lyrics that I wrote the melody to it, and that's how it started. So these days, luckily enough, this sevdah genre, I wrote a lot of songs for myself and other musicians, other performers. There are other people writing new songs. So, I think something is happening there. And a significant part of it also has this queer, I mean, there are different kinds of people in this in the scene. But there are also people who are who are pushing this new idea of what tradition is.

Rebekah:  I really love this idea of incorporating, you know, different ideas and queer elements of culture into this new tradition of music and going forth, like in that way. And that's something that more and more people are starting to get involved with. And I like this idea of representation of like, the queer communities, especially if even if it's gender neutral, that it's part of the history. It's not like just made up, it's an ongoing thing. And so how can we modernize that and shape that for a new audience? And also thinking about representation? I wanted to turn to Mateusz and think about what does representation look like, especially concerning LGBT interests in young adult literature and children's literature? And how does that look specifically within Poland? And do you think that students and children are getting their needs met or interests met within literature?

Mateusz:  That's a very good question. Um, there's a number of LGBTQ themed Polish books, mostly picture books and YA novels, and of course, there are a number of translations, mostly from English, but not only from English. And similarly to Ukraine and Hungary, such books usually become, quite, let's say, political, or maybe not the books themselves become political, but they become political tools. And this, you know, political, anti-LGBTQ+ discourse. For example, there's this really interesting book: Kim Jest Slimak Sam. I'm not sure if you've heard about it, probably not. So, yeah, it was published in 2015. By it's a picture book by Maria Pawłowska and Jakub Szamałek illustrated by Katarzyna Bogucka. It's quite similar to And Tango Makes Three, let's say, became similar because it caused a number of controversies because its protagonist Sam the snail, who is just starting school is a hermaphrodite. He's a snail. Yeah, I mean, Sam is a snail. Interestingly, both advocates and opponents of the book seem convinced about the power of literacy. In this book, when a teacher asks pupils to split into two gendered groups, Sam does not know what to do and hides inside their shell. And the school psychologist asks Sam to prepare a report on the storm that passed the area the day before. And to do that, Sam needs to meet and talk to several queer animals inhabiting the nearby woods. While the picture, while this picture book is biologically accurate, some Polish Education Officers ordered the book removed from school libraries as inappropriate for young children and for its potential to promote "gender ideology." And this is not surprising when we remember that an educational supervisor from lesser Poland tweeted that LGBT is an endorsement of pedophilia. And when we remember the fact that the former Minister of Education, Anna Zalewska, tried to ban Rainbow Friday. Rainbow Friday is a name of events aiming to show queer children and teenagers that school should be a safe space for all. And it's worth mentioning that despite the years of progress, the situation of LGBTQ+ individuals in Poland has deteriorated under the role of the populist Law and Justice (PiS) Party, resulting in the increase of number of suicides among queer teenagers. We have gay celebrities like Jacek Poniedziałek, Michał Piróg, and allies, great allies of the LGBTQ community, like Anja Rubik, who is a top model, you know, fashion model, Beata Kozidrak, this iconic Polish Madonna, let's say, or Taco Hemingway, who is a Polish rapper. You can read about him and the latest issue of New York Times, if I'm not mistaken. So when it comes to equality, Poland, a member state of the EU is closer to Ukraine and Russia than its EU neighbors. And of course, I'm talking about politics. But we do have a lot of books, like Sam the Snail, also translations like I Am Jazz, this picture book about a transgender girl, but what I find particularly interesting is that we don't have books about same sex parenting in Poland at all. And what, yeah, it's quite interesting, because when you compare Poland to other countries, including Ukraine, usually the first queer, let's say, I'm using this term really frivolously, let's say, usually queer themed, usually the first queer themed books are picture books about same sex parents, that's the pattern. When it comes to practically every single country, which has queer themed books, but in Poland, we don't have same sex parenting books. We have books about transgender children, we have books about like, YA novels about gay characters, gay and lesbian characters, of course, and I think that is quite - you know, literature, children's literature, YA literature is really crucial in the development of young people, and representation is fundamental. We all know that. When we compare the, like the number of picture books or just books, children's books in general, depicting children belonging to different ethnicities, the representation, like disparities in the representation are shocking. So most books present white children. Yeah. So there is this discussion about the need to include other types of children. And Poland is a very specific country. I want you to remember about the fact that 96% of Poles are white. Most Poles are culturally Catholic. I'm using this term "culturally Catholic" on purpose, because most Poles do not go to church at all. But being culturally Catholic is a totally different thing. It's all about customs, traditions. And this guilt. I don't go to church. I'm not part of this institution. But you know, cultural Catholicism is stronger. Yeah. So, though I was, okay, I was talking about children's books, and then I started talking about, you know, the church. Okay, so when it comes to the need to include such themes, it's quite similar. There are queer children, queer adolescents in Poland who need to see that they are normal, you know. And such books should appear in the book markets, such books should be published and should become part of the mainstream. And it's not enough to have translation of Love Simon and, you know, American YA novels. I think it's crucial to have local books, including local themes, or references to our local culture. And I think that it's crucial for the development of young people. And I know that I also take, I believe in the power of literacy. But that's what I've heard from a number of students who, throughout the years have told me “When I was growing up all of the books and all of the characters and YA books and children's books were just straight. And I've always thought that I'm weird.” I think that it's amazing that this situation has started to change. That we do have queer books, that we do have books featuring non heteronormative, let's say, elements. And you know, I've already said it, children are the future.

Rebekah:  Absolutely, thank you so much for all of that. I think it's definitely important that the literature reflects local customs and traditions. And I think that every student should have the opportunity to be represented and feel represented, their family or themselves in general within this kind of literature. Because it's crucial to the development of young LGBT students and just other children in general to be exposed to such themes to learn about differences. I think that's incredibly important. But yes, I love the idea that you know, that things are starting to change. That there's, we're moving towards like a state of future. We're trying to incorporate more radical literature into like earlier settings in schools. And so my last question for you all is, what are your hopes for the LGBT communities from where you're coming from? We've mentioned radical changes within literature, talked about astrology, we talked about music. What does that look like for your specific communities?  

Damir:  Well, here's a good candidate, if you allow me this combination of nationalism and LGBT issues. An example of Bosnia, Bosnia is a small place. It used to have three and a half million people, when Yugoslavia parted. Now, I think it has, some people say not even 3 million people. And the thing is such a small place is really, it's really hard to have an authentic agenda for anything, you know, let alone the fact that we are completely politically paralyzed because we still live the consequences of dissolution of Yugoslavia. Because the Constitution of Bosnia is basically a peace agreement, which was signed in 1995. Like a ceasefire peace agreement. We still have that as a constitution, you know. So just to cement the opposing sides in the war, and blah, blah, blah, to stop the war. The problem with that, why am I mentioning that is that it's really hard to promote LGBTQ rights in Bosnia as an authentic need of the local people. And it's so easy, by opposing side nationalist fascists of all kinds from these communities, etc. to give it some kind of: "oh always this sort of guy, those are Americans, Angela Merkel, and Swedes are promoting you know, lesbianism" and that kind of stuff, you know. So that's why I think that's one of the reasons. And of course, the lack of tradition, why we only had Pride last year. And those people who are, who are doing it, activists, are brilliant. They really did a great job. We had a huge Pride, three and a half thousand people without any problems. It was a really beautiful day. And I see that, you know. But I guess and I would love maybe to hear if there's time for Mateusz, about, because Poland is such a big country with a strong culture and just in numbers, also huge country and market and everything. Is it in any way easier for such a big country to promote the need for queer rights as some kind of an authentic need? So you understand what's my problem? You usually have nationalists who are saying, you know, “yeah, but we never had gays around here. We were all straight. It's just when Americans came or whoever came, Germans, that we've gotten queer people.”

Mateusz:  It's similar here, really.

Damir:  I think, in a interesting way to connect nationalism and queer rights.  

Mateusz  Yeah, it's always somebody else's problem when it comes to LGBTQ rights in Poland. I mean, rights, maybe not rights. So once again, the biggest problem in Poland is that we are a monoethnic country. So there are no "enemies," you know. It's quite difficult to find a common enemy. After all, culturally Catholic, all white. Someone has to be blamed for everything. So the last few months our politicians, right wing politicians have decided to use, once again, to use members of the LGBTQ+ community as this enemy of the nation, enemy of the state, say that these are not people. This is just a foreign ideology of the EU trying to destroy Poland, all over the country, trying to destroy Poland. These are not real people There's this Polish Regional Education Authority called Barbara Nowak, who said that after the Coronavirus, we'll get back to normal quickly, but what about the long term effects of gender and the LGBTQ ideology? Coming back to the, to your question Rebekah, I would love my LGBTQ+ students to know that it's okay to be Polish and LGBTQ+. That is okay to be Polish and non-Catholic. That it's okay to be Polish Jewish and gay. That it's okay to be Polish and Black, you know. We have Afro-Poles are also discriminated and so on. But and I think that most of our problems come from the fact that we are so monoethnic. And of course, we know that when it comes to our history, it all changed after World War II. Because before World War II, Poland was not as mono ethnic. Poland has no colonial history, in this traditional, of course, understanding of colonialism. We're not going to dig deeper into local like, Ukrainian Poland, Ukraine, Poland, stuff. But we don't have this, I mean, we Poles don't have this colonial guilt. What I find really problematic is that nationalists, the so-called patriots have decided to claim this one particular vision of being Polish. And there's no place for members of the LGBTQ community and this, you know, Polish label and this particular identity. And in the last few months, young people, mostly young people, young queer people, have rebelled against this notion, you know, maybe not notion, against this vision of Polish-ness. They've been fighting. They've been using, you know, acts of civil disobedience. They've been rebelling against this vision, they are unapologetic, they don't care. They are, they are not here to just, you know, talk. They're here to fight. And let's be honest, you're probably all familiar with the current situation in Poland regarding the abortion rights, of the protests, and so on. The first protests in Poland this year started in August and these were protests initiated by young LGBTQ+ individuals who fought really. And what's happening now, all of the nasty slogans used by protesters are quite similar to the nasty explicit slogans used by of members of the LGBTQ community in August. But back in August, they were criticised for, you know, for using explicit vocabulary for breaking taboos. And now, the mainstream, let's say mainstream protesters, are using their methods. And this, I think, shows us how effective our local LGBTQ+ community can be.

Rebekah:  Yeah, absolutely. That's beautiful. Thank you so much. And I think that it's super important to highlight, you know, the people who are on the ground doing the actual work. And they're the ones out here who are trying to make a difference for themselves and the ones who come after them. How about for you, Gala.

Gala:  I think I've just been - So I want to say that I was thinking this whole time about bubbling of ideology that can create this sort of flattening of human experience. But I think that if one were to apply this idea of the flattening of the human experience, what you know about what you're fighting for, what you're good at, what involves you, what affects you into a general hope, right, for the collective. Like for me, I think if I were to imagine my hope for queer people in the US, it would be the same hope that I have for people in every country, which is that they hold otherness as sacred and they continue to. And I think that when it comes to queer activism, right, like when we see it in action, the people who have made the most difference in a lot of activist spheres pushing against government have been people who have been invested in human otherness as sacred and integral. So if you think about I don't know, like what was happening in Chechnya. And so many activists, like so many Russian activists were from queer activists, were actually creating secret, like were getting people out of Chechnya, and creating like secret lives for them to live in Chechnya. Queer people are constantly in, especially in countries where queerness is criminalized, but also countries where it isn't like the US theoretically, are constantly being placed in this business to choose between this idea of being loved and being part of a nation and being themselves. Right. But ultimately, at least for the US, as an example, like queerness is a part of the national story here. It's a part of the American story, if you think about it. Like there is this idea that people inherit, right? That isn't necessarily true, that if they come here, they can be whatever they want. Right? And so, in some ways, that is like this, like false bat signal, right? Like you get to come here, and you get to be whatever you want in this country, which is inaccurate, because then you could wind up going to a nightclub with all your friends and get shot for being who you are. Right? So there's this idea, then that a lot of people who come with, like what I imagined is a true, I don't know, I don't want to give it value. But I think that queerness, or aligning oneself with queerness has to do with recognizing that it's not something that you inherit from an authority, right. And so I think that if I were to imagine a true optimistic hope it would be that queer people as they are pushed toward action, as they are pushed toward some acts of sovereignty, that they hold otherness as sacred, as opposed to falling into traps of homo-nationalism, where they can serve the nation state, but also whiteness. So queer whiteness against like, people who are anti-racist and against the carceral state.

Rebekah:  Thank you so much for bringing that up. I am absolutely in love with this idea of holding otherness as sacred, you know. Because I think a lot of the issues where we get pinned against one another and trying to blame our issues on this other, there's a fear of the other. And I think that's an issue worldwide. And so if we can come to a point where we can hold otherness as sacred, I think that we can move forward to a more promising future.

[rainandhotchocolate]

About Last Night - P2

A/N So i know I have a million other requests but I’m a sucker for this story sooooo here’s part 2222 lel enjoy!!

Mon 12:00pm

Sirius ~ So before I read the weekend news, should I be worried about seeing any murders I was supposed to be involved in? ~

Y/N ~ Don’t worry I planted your fingertips everywhere so they’ll know you were involved as well ~

Sirius ~ Oh thank god, I needed something to destroy my reputation ~

Y/N ~ And what reputation is that? ~

Sirius ~ Oh you know, cool edgy creative writing major with a soft side ™ ~

Y/N ~ Dear god you’re one of them :O ~

Sirius ~ Ur DiffEReNT thAN OthER giRlS ~

Y/N ~ **Blocked**

Sirius ~ I sincerely hope you know I was joking ~

Y/N ~ I guess I’ll have to find out :P What are you up to today? ~

Sirius ~ Well apart from giving my alibi to police, I have about 3 hours of classes today and an essay due ~

Y/N ~ Wow, that sounds like a super fun day – any good classes? ~

Sirius ~ Yeah I’m enjoying my lit class at the moment, we are doing genre fiction at the moment so looking into how writers create worlds, even within our own world, and why genre fiction is so looked down upon in literature society ~

~ and now that I’ve typed that out I am realising that it probably doesn’t sound wildly interesting ~

Y/N ~ Hahaha nah it does! That would be cool to learn about, I’m a sucker for genre fiction tbh, could never read the classics ~

Sirius ~ That just means you never found a good classic 😉 – What kinda stuff do you read? ~

Y/N ~ look I want no judgement here… I honestly mostly read fantasy/ sci-fi ~

Sirius ~ Have you read Dune?? ~

Y/N ~ Yes !!! Holy shit such a good series !! ~

Sirius ~ I’ve been trying to get my mates to read it for a LIFETIME its so good ~

Y/N ~ I would have thought Remus would have read them? He’s always got a new book with him ~

Sirius ~ I didn’t know you knew Remus as well? But yeah, he in theory would but he also has a long list of to reads and wants to go through them one after another ~

Y/N ~ Yeah, he studies with Lily a lot and I sometimes join them 😊. Also jesus that’s commitment, I’m usually picking up another book whilst I’m halfway through another ~

Sirius ~ I have no idea how he does it, if I’m being honest, if I hate a book I just don’t finish it (please don’t tell my literary friends I told you that, I would be killed in my sleep) ~

Y/N ~ Haha your secret is safe with me – imo I reckon that’s the best way to read, like why force yourself through something just because it’s a classic or whatever, I feel like that’s why so many people don’t read a lot you know? ~

Sirius ~ Completely! I actually just realised I have no idea what you study? ~

Y/N ~ Ahh that’s because I’ve been avoiding the question ~

Sirius ~ It can’t be worse than creative writing – I won’t even get a job after uni ~

Y/N ~ Oh believe me, it is. I study communications ~

Sirius ~ Oh dear lord you are every white girl who ever existed ~

Y/N ~ I know, I’m perpetuating the stereotype its very disappointing tbh ~

Sirius ~ So is that where you work then? ~

Y/N ~ Wow you remember a lot haha yeah, I’m doing an internship in social media management, it’s surprisingly soul-sucking ~

Sirius ~ Is that surprising… 😉 ~

Y/N ~ I mean, that was thinly veiled sarcasm haha but it’s actually not all bad, the strategy behind content etc is actually pretty interesting, and I’m working for an eco-friendly company so at least I get to come up with cool environmental memes ~

Sirius ~ Ahh yes, hit the youth with the memes ~

Y/N ~ See, you’re learning the comms ways already ~

 Thurs 11:28pm

Y/N ~ Whats ya facebook? ~

Sirius ~ Uhhh… Sirius Black? It’s not wildly hard to find, why? ~

Y/N ~ I’m gonna be real, I would like to stalk you ~

Sirius ~ Is this Y/N? ~

Y/N ~ :O ok you’ve known Y/N like 2 days how did you guess that ~

Sirius ~ Cause this message felt like one of those old school msn ‘my friend hacked me !!!’ ~

Y/N ~ You’re a smart boi, Black ~

Sirius ~ thank you kindly stranger ~

 Fri 6:45 am

Y/N ~ I AM SO SORRY ~

~ MARLENE STOLE MY PHONE ~

~ I PROMISE I’M NOT A STALKER ~

Sirius ~ Why on earth are you awake right now ~

Y/N ~ Because my body never allows me to sleep in ~

Sirius ~ how rude, also don’t worry I accepted your Facebook request so you can stalk all you want 😉 ~

Y/N ~ Literally am going to stab Marlene ~

Sirius ~ At least she’s up front ~

Y/N ~ Wait why are you awake rn? ~

Sirius ~ James wants to make the firsts soccer team at uni and has decided I must train with him ~

Y/N ~ Well that’s gross ~

Sirius ~ Couldn’t have said that better myself ~

Y/N ~ so what does this training consist of ~

Sirius ~ Mainly James trying to shoot balls at my head as I attempt to goal keep ~

Y/N ~ Can’t see that ending well ~

Sirius ~ Excuse you, I happen to be VERY athletic. I am a multisided human being thanks ~

Y/N ~ I am so sorry to have placed my predisposed ideas on you ☹ pls forgive ~

Sirius ~ I will have to think about it – right now James wanted me to do suicides and I must go into hiding ~

Y/N ~ Godspeed ~

Sun 2:58pm

Y/N ~ Ok I know I promised not to stalk, but what the fuck is going on in this picture ~

~ file ~

Sirius ~ oh no no no no no no no no ~

Y/N ~ ehheheheheheheheh ~

Sirius ~ I really thought my privacy settings were better than this ~

Y/N ~ Yeah this was very easy to find ~

Sirius ~ I’m going to kill James ~

Y/N ~ You can’t blame james for this beauty ~

Sirius ~ Oh I really can, he decided it would be hilarious for us to have a photoshoot when I was completely trashed one night. And then proceeded to post everything and tag me ~

Y/N ~ James sounds like a fun night out ~

Sirius ~ I wouldn’t say that to lily ~

Y/N ~ What she doesn’t know won’t kill her 😉 ~

Sirius ~ You are slyer than I thought ~

Y/N ~ I think I’m going to frame this photo and place it all over your uni ~

Sirius ~ You wouldn’t ~

Y/N ~ You may need to convince me otherwise ~

Sirius ~ Anything to avoid that embarrassment in my life ~

Y/N ~ Perhaps you’ll just have to owe me for sparing you ~

Sirius ~ I think that’s a fair deal – what about a coffee? ~

Y/N ~ I think a coffee or two would be a fair trade off :P ~

Sirius ~ Well I have the most disgusting week of midterms but perhaps on the weekend? ~

Y/N ~ Sounds LIT ~

Sirius ~ You’ve just made me regret inviting you anywhere ~

Y/N ~ That’s what I’m here for 😉 ~

 Wed 3:07pm

Sirius ~ Bit of a creepy question, but did I see you at uni today? Navy Skirt, Black Jumper, & tights?

Y/N ~ Wow you really observe an outfit don’t you ~

Sirius ~ I mean I noticed the outfit cause I thought it looked good and then I realised it was you and so it stuck in my head ~

~ in a less creepy way ~

~ in fact let me just completely start over – were you at uni today? I think I saw you! ~

Y/N ~ Maybe, what was I wearing? ~

Sirius ~ I hate you ~

Y/N ~ 😉 Well to answer your question, yes I was at uni – it was Lily and I’s weekly cheap lunch date ~

Sirius ~ Classy ladies you two are ~

Y/N ~ Couldn’t describe us better myself ~

Sirius ~ Oh by the way, are you going to Remus’ party this Friday? ~

Y/N ~ Mmmm I was thinking about it, why? ~

Sirius ~ No reason, I just knew Lily was invited and he mentioned inviting some of her friends ~

Y/N ~ Mmmm, yeah he told Lily to bring Marlene and me along, unsure though as Lily is particularly annoyed at James this week and he will of course be there and be annoying ~

Sirius ~ What if I can promise he won’t annoy her? ~

Y/N ~ I really don’t think you should make a promise you can’t keep :P ~

Sirius ~ Ah, you underestimate me! James has to go home this weekend to see his parents so he won’t actually be there ~

Y/N ~ This is a very interesting development – we may reconsider ~

Sirius ~ Well Remus does throw a great party ~

Y/N ~ DO you actually know what James did anyway? She usually likes to rant about it but she’s been shut in her room the past 2 days ~

Sirius ~ Honestly I’m not sure, James has been unprecedently quiet as well ~

Y/N ~ Hmmm how odd ~

Sirius ~ Indeed it is ~

 Friday 4:42pm

Y/N ~ What are you guys wearing tonight? ~

Marlene ~ Not sure, I’m torn between a velour tracksuit or the classic Canadian tuxedo ~

Lily ~ Both very classy options ~

Marlene ~ You know me, go hard or go hard ~

Y/N ~ You’re both incredibly unhelpful ~

Marlene ~ Worried about meeting a certain dark haired texter? ~

Y/N ~ Am I not allowed to want my best friends’ help on my outfits?? ~

Marlene ~ I mean I can’t help you look hot if I don’t know who its for 😉 ~

Lily ~ God forbid she looks hot for herself ~

Marlene ~ Hey, you’ve gotta play to your audience ~

Y/N ~ How would you even know what he likes ~

Lily ~ She stalked him around campus yesterday ~

Y/N ~ um MARLENE ~

Marlene ~ I just wanted to know his style, habits, if he was a psycho killer ~

Lily ~ She has a point, if he’s as annoying as James we have to protect you at all costs ~

Marlene ~ We need to make sure she isn’t sucked in by his serial killer prowess ~

Y/N ~ You’re making me sound like prey ~

Marlene ~ 😉 ~

Y/N ~ How did you even stalk him, Lily has no classes with him ~

Marlene ~ I have my ways ~

Lily ~ She flirted with the office assistant until she gave her Sirius’ schedule ~

Y/N ~ You minx ~

Marlene ~ No one can resist my charms ~

Lily ~ That is yet to be determined actually ~

Y/N ~ very true Lils, we’ve never met anyone you’ve dated yet ~

Marlene ~ Sooooo not the point, and we’ve gone off topic! How are you going to wow Mr Black ~

Y/N ~ That is 100% not what I asked ~

Lily ~ you may as well have ~

Y/N ~ You both suck ~

Lily ~ Wear that flowy black dress you refuse to ever wear!! ~

Marlene ~ YES YOU LOOK BANGING IN THAT ~

Y/N ~ ugh but it’s a casual party ~

Marlene ~ Who gives a shit, stand out ~

Lily ~ He’ll be drooling ~

Y/N ~ I don’t need him to drool I just want to make a good first impression ~

Marlene ~ Aha the truth finally comes out ~

Y/N ~ if you were actually in your dorm I’d be hitting the roof with a broomstick rn ~

Lily ~ Where are you?? ~

Marlene ~ Where do you think 😉 ~

Lily ~ Not the office assistant ~

Marlene ~ 😉 ~

Lily ~ How!? I was with you the whole time, you never exchanged numbers ~

Marlene ~ Exchanging numbers doesn’t have to be an oral task… unlike other things 😉 ~

Y/N ~ We get it, your sexual prowess is above all of us ~

Lily ~ I’m honestly impressed, she was cute ~

Marlene ~ I’m offended you’d be impressed tbh ~

Y/N ~ Ok so you are both coming over to my house in an hour to dress and intoxicate me ~

Lily ~ Deal ~

Marlene ~ Maybe give me an extra 30 mins 😊 ~

Taglist:  @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana @avengersassemblee @maraudersandco @sly-vixen-up2nogood @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad @evyiione @minerva26love @aikeia @gollyderek @greatwombatblaze  @songforhema  @your-typical-giggle

[knjoodles]

mismatched pages; jimin x reader

pairing: writer!jimin x writer!reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 1.2K

summary: you love writing. it’s your passion, it’s what you dream to do forever. up until you find out the guy you really like also happens to be the guy who’s stealing your ideas. then it sucks.

lowercase intended.

02 (a lot longer than this first chapter)

“shit!” you exclaimed, tumbling out of your dorm and into the hallway. you were 15 minutes late to class, and it takes 15 minutes to walk there. you stood in front of the elevator, tapping your foot out of pure terror and nerve. “okay,” you said to yourself, “elevator’s not fast. stairs, stairs!” you whipped towards the stairwell on the other side of the hall and dashed towards them, scurrying down the stairs and nearly tripping over at least twice. 

once you reached the ground floor, you let yourself take a breather. “i need to get back into shape.” you groaned, rubbing your temples before adjusting the uncomfortable way your sock was sitting on your foot and, again, setting off to run to your class. “fuck!” you muttered. “dr. yang is going to kick my ASS!”

thanks to the cup of iced latte you downed in ten minutes, your body running on pure adrenaline, and that leftover chinese from last night, you reached your class in 7 minutes. embarrassed that you were out of breath, you spent about 30 seconds catching it before walking in.

you opened the door slowly so to not be embarrassed about your entire class eyeing you for being late and were nicely surprised as none of them even bat an eye at you. dr. yang, your professor, raised his eyebrows at you and motioned for you to make your way over to his desk before starting your classwork.

“(y/n),” he said, “can you explain to me why you were late?”

“i, um,” you fiddled with the corner of your jacket and made eye contact with him; eye contact that was way too direct to not be awkward. “i stayed up last night working on the project you assigned, and then i went to sleep late. i woke up 40 minutes ago and realized how late i was. i'm sorry, it won’t happen again.”  you bowed.

dr. yang sighed, laying down the stack of papers he was filing and looked up at you. “(y/n), why are you working so hard?”

personally? you were stunned by that question. you never imagined in all your life that a teacher would ask you that question. 

“i mean, i assigned that a week ago! it’s due at the end of the semester!” he chuckled, shocked that you’d start that early. 

“but sir, everyone else has started!” you argued, trying justify why you slept at 5 a.m. last night. 

“well, has this ‘everyone else’ stayed up so late that they’re late to the class that the grade is for?” dr. yang queried. “(y/n). i don’t want to discourage hard work and hard working people, but you already excel in this class. you don’t need to do this, and?  it’s better if you don’t. you should live your life the way you want to, but please, if not for you than for your teacher, let yourself rest.”

you were appalled to say the least. you could barely say a word; your teacher just told you to stop working so hard? “i,”  you started, forgetting how to form coherent sentences. “i understand, dr. yang.”

“good. now, if you were here for the first 20-something minutes of class, you’d know that there were two assignments today.” he teased as he stood up. “one assignment was to work on the semester project. but, i knew some people like you would be almost completely done with that. so, i created the second assignment: an in-class assignment, which doubles as me entering my students in a contest. you must write up a fully original short story. it can be about anything you like, any theme you want, any genre, etc. then, once it has been proofread by another student, it’ll be read by a panel of judges, who’ll be judging short stories from all over the world. the top ten writers will then move on to a sequel competition. the top three writers will be awarded a large sum of money, and, if one of my students wins, they will earn 30% extra credit on their final exam. it’s one of the toughest writing competitions out there, so great achievements deserve great rewards. and, everything will be done-” he paused, looking at you.

“wow,” you exclaimed, feeling like the wind was knocked out of you. 30% extra credit on your final exam? that’s so many points, you could drown in them. “that sounds amazing, im so glad you’re giving us this opportunity to-“

“-in partners.” he finished, watching your eyes grow like saucers and your jaw drop ever so slightly.

“in... in partners?” you stumbled over your words. ideas for this were already flying through your head. but now you have to work with someone else? in a class where you only talk to two other people? who you’ve known since you were in middle school? 

“yes!” dr. yang hummed, ridding the whiteboard of tiny marks. “but, partners have already been chosen. fortunately, there’s someone else who thought they could get by by themselves.”

“sir, im not sure if i want to-"

“park jimin. he’ll be your partner.” dr. yang turned to you and smiled, placing his whiteboard eraser rag in a drawer and sitting back down in his chair.

“park jimin? you mean, that park jimin?” you motioned over to a man sitting with his nose so close to his laptop, his face was basically part of it.

“do you know any other park jimins in this class?” dr. yang asked, opening his laptop to reply to emails. “get to introducing yourself. he thinks he’s working by himself too.”

with dr. yang quite literally shoo-ing you away with silence and a hand wave, you realized that park jimin was probably going to have to be your best friend until the end of the year. and so you set off, racing up the stairs of your lecture hall, making a beeline for jimin. “excuse me?”

“mhm?” he hummed, turning to you. it would be an understatement to say that it was a change of scenery and what you thought he looked like. you barely saw him; the times you did look at him, his face was masked by his laptop. and the rest of the time, you didn’t really pay attention to him. now, getting a chance to get a good look at him, you studied his features. he had a very attractive facial structure, with high cheekbones and plump lips. his hair was a sleek black color, which really complemented his outfit of beige and dusty blue. you noted how sharp his nose was and how nicely his eyes were shaped. this made life a little easier. at least he wasn’t an eyesore. 

“hi, i'm (y/n).” you held out your hand, which he stared at for a couple seconds before getting the memo that he was supposed to shake it.

“hi, (y/n),” he smiled, clasping your hand with both of his and giving a firm handshake. “do you need something from me? do you need me to write your essay for you?” he giggled.

“no,” you laughed awkwardly. “about the second assignment, the contest one?”

“yeah?” he nodded, resting his head in his right hand.

“dr. yang assigned us as partners, so here i am!”

“dr. yang assigned us as-” he paused to laugh to himself. “him letting me go solo that easily sounded too good to be true.”

a pang of embarrassment washed over you. “i mean, if you don’t want to work with me-”

“no, no! it’s not that at all,” he assured you, pulling over the chair next to him and motioning for to sit down. “i knew he’d do something like this was what i was saying. nothing against you. i’ve just met you!” 

“that's good to know, i guess,” you smiled. “i know that you’re really creative, so maybe later today we can go to a library and bounce ideas off each other?”

“why don’t i treat you to lunch and get to know you better?” he asked. from how introverted he acted in class, you never expected that he’d be so social from the get-go. “i know this really good café only a 10 minute drive from here.”

“well, if you insist,” you said, his smile overtaking any sort of anxiety you felt. you rubbed your thumb on top of your palm in excitement. in huge contrast to high-school, you’re not too social right now.

“great. meet me in front of ginam hall and then we can go!” jimin promised before turning back to his laptop to work on whatever he was on his laptop.

you awkwardly stood up. was that it? dr. yang directly told you to start working on your project after he lectured you. you waited for a solid minute, quietly chewing on your lip and expecting that jimin would offer to share ideas or something. 

anything?

“uh, jimin?” you blurted, the weight of your uncomfortableness outweighing your patience at that point. he turned and raised his eyebrows, lowering his laptop screen and laying his hand on the table.

“yup?” he asked, crossing his legs.

“did dr. yang not tell you our project starts now? like we have to work on it today?” 

“he didn’t say we had to work on it together, today! see it this way, we both brainstorm some deas for our story; plan it out, write down a summary of the plot, make like three of them. then, when we meet up in the library when both of our classes are over we can 

you almost imploded at this idea. it wasn’t  bad or anything, but three plot ideas? three of them? and who said that we were meeting up after lunch? you thought jimin’s replacement for meeting up at the library was lunch! you didn’t sign up for two. “i, um,” you stuttered. “i guess that’s alright?”

jimin beamed, the large round ceiling lights making his eyes glitter. “great! i’ll see you at 12:15 at ginam, right?”

“mhm!” you hummed, flashing him a frail smile and giving two thumbs up before turning around and skittering to your partners in crime, jung hyeyeon and kang jaehyun.

“since when do you talk to park jimin?” hyeyeon pondered, drumming her fingers against the gray of her macbook. 

“yeah, that was weird.” jaehyun nodded. 

“stop it!” you silently scolded, sitting down in between them and fishing out your laptop, letting your bag drop under the desk and on the floor. “it’s ‘cause dr. yang put us in a group since him and i are almost completely finished with our semester project.”

“seriously? is that why you were late?” jaehyun gawked. “i could barely find a topic to report on! how did you finish so fast?”

“i mean, i'm not done done,” you explained, waving your hands as you waited for your laptop to load your project. “i just need someone to proofread so i can make edits. then i'm done.”

“so basically, you’re done.” hyeyeon snickered. “but you and jimin…” she nudged you with her elbow, raising her eyebrows.

“oh, come on!” you laughed. “don’t even start with that. i’ve known him for literally 10 minutes.”

“you guys wouldn’t even look bad!” hyeyeon defended herself, spinning on her chair in jaehyun’s direction. “right, jaehyun?”

“she isn’t wrong,” jaehyun agreed, spinning his pencil with his fingers. “it wouldn’t be ugly.”

“i only know his face and his name. it’s not like i know all of his deep, dark secrets or something. lay off, please?” you half laughed, half begged. 

“fine, fine,” hyeyeon raised her hands in defeat and scuttled her way back to her desk on her swivel chair. “we’ll shut up.” 

you turned your head to the other side of the room to look at jimin, typing away on his computer. you smiled to yourself, thinking about how, as different as you thought the two of you were, you were actually quite similar.

how nice.

[blushypetey]

friday night lights (au)

summary: you offered peter help & you slowly started to fall for each other.

paring: popular!peter x shy!reader

warnings: swearing & flash being flash

word count: 3,872

a/n: its a football!au so i decided to write peter as a popular football player, a cliche concept but not when it comes to our boy peter parker. i’m actually proud of this imagine & it’s an au so i hope you guys like this concept.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

thursday | 7:30 am

HE WALKED, down the football field with confidence heading to morning practice — simply Peter Parker was the star quarterback of Midtown Highschool, a heart-throb to his fellow class mates. His personality was unforgettably sweet — his looks did him justice with his beautiful smile, messy brown curls, & charming smile. He was nice to everyone and always filled the room with joy & kindness.

Now on the other hand you weren't known throughout the school like Peter. You thought you were nothing special being super introverted with your only friend being Michelle — until you crossed paths with Peter Parker.

You had first met him in English class during the start of the semester you sat next to him & he wasn't doing so great in the subject although he was great at Chemistry & Algebra. The semester continued with Peter still struggling with his writing. He wasn't failing he just had a C- which was still unacceptable because it was on the verge of a D meaning he wouldn't be able to play football. He wasn't proud of that the main reason he had that grade was due to him failing an essay.

He had gotten a 45% on the essay Peter couldn't bear the grade anymore. He went to the teacher to ask for help & that's when you offered to help.

“Ms.Willams, is there anyway I could fix my grade. Or revise my essay?” Peter asked as the students left the classroom.

“Currently No, I could set you up with a tutor or you could attend homework center & ask for help there.” she simply replied as she started packing her things.

You heard the conversation & felt bad for Peter, you had an A in the class thinking maybe you could help him. To your defense helping would benefit Peter to continue playing his games — you picked up your backpack & walked to the teacher's desk.

“I — um can't go to homework center I have practice.”

“Okay let me see what I can do,”

“I — um could tutor you Peter,” you quickly responded.

This caught Peter by surprise he knew you, you were the best in the class & he knew couldn't pass up this opportunity this could really benefit his grade. He was also relived for once — a girl was talking to him not because he was Peter Parker.

You waited for his response awkwardly, “Really?”

he said after being lost in his thoughts.

“Yeah of course,” you lightly smiled.

“Okay then it's settled Y/n, you will tutor Peter. You'll have your next writing assignment soon. See you guys tomorrow.”

That's how it all begin Peter really benefited from your tutoring — his next writing assignment went up to a 75%. You both actually worked great together & he didn't feel awkward around you. He hadn't felt pressured to keep an image up — surprisingly he was nervous around girls.

Peter finally caught up to all of his friends on the field & got is shoes ready & tied for practice. He greeted his teammates while doing his usual warm-up with them. Although almost everyone at Midtown respected him Flash didn't — he was jealous of the individual being the most popular student at the school & star quarterback.

“Hey what's up Parker,” Flash remarked as he was warming up.

Peter's other friends rolled their eyes knowing what was going to happen — this often happened where Flash would tease the quarterback. Peter would honestly care less & Flash always ended up embarrassing himself.

“What do you want Flash?” Peter said annoyed.

“Oh nothing just wanted to know if you passed the 5 page paper we just did. Or did you need Y/n to write it all?”

He was usually calm towards situations with Flash but when he brought up you he was more tempered.

“She didn't write it for me. Just fuck off already.”

“You seem upset Peter did I offended you.” he said teasingly.

“No can you just leave me alone.”

Flash looked at him with a challenging look Peter had stayed straight faced. One of Peter's friends spoke up, “Dude honestly none of us like you so would you please just fuck off.”

“No one asked you,” Flash remarked.

That was until a whistle was blown & all the boys huddled back up to their coach. This had focused the boys back to practice instead of Flash.

You were currently on the bleachers waiting for Peter's morning practice to end. It wasn't something new to the both of you — the first time it had happened was because he had forgotten his paper. Since then you had both of you had spent time together before 1st period.

You didn't know that his other teammates had started to realize that Peter had a soft spot for you. They honestly could've care less who he was with but the rest of the school was to question your friendship.

Peter had finished up early & he started walking off the football field noticing you from the corner of his eye. You approached him, “Hi Peter,” he looked up at you.

“Hey Y/N. Is that coffee for me?” he laughed in response seeing the two cups in your hand.

“Indeed it is. You said you stayed up finished that reading so I thought I'd help you out.”

“Thanks, I don't know what I'd do with out you.”

You both sat down at a table with a few minutes to spare before class. Then a few of Peter's friends had approached the both of you — knowing a few of his friends but for some reason you were still nervous around them you felt that they judged you. They had actually never judged you & just had wanted to get to know you better but you were just very closed off.

“What's up Peter!” Lucas had said. He was one of Peter's closer friends besides Ned which was his closest.

“Hey Y/N.” he said afterwards.

“Um Hey,” You has said they looked back down at your phone to avoid further conversation. A few of his other friends came to sit by you at the table finally Ned had took seat next to you.

One of his friends grabbed Peter's cup of coffee & took a sip, but it was before he could say anything he knew his friend would hate it. “Dude this is disgusting why would you get this,” Peter just laughed.

“Hey it's not even that bad,” Peter remarked.

“When did you have time to get coffee,”

Peter had looked at you then he saw that you were a bit uncomfortable surrounded by his friends. You had just been sitting there. “Oh I didn't get it Y/n did,” he replied.

“Wow next get me something Y/n.”

“Sure just tell me what you want.” you said back at Peter's friend.

“Hey — No she's gets me coffee losers,” Peter budged in.

“So am I only you barista,” you looked back at him.

You heard his friend chuckle & focus on Peter. He seemed shocked “What! No your my friend your just super nice & always get me coffee,” he quickly responded to save himself.

“Sure Parker.”

“What I was kidding—”

“Jeez I know you were.” you laughed back at him.

The bell had rang & you quickly retrieved you stuff too get to class. Peter's friends just looked at him Ned was the first to speak up, “Dude you so like her.”

“What No I don't,” Peter quickly denied.

Lucas raised his eyebrows at him, “Um it's pretty obvious we're not judging you I actually think it's cute.”

“Okay but I don't think she would like me back.”

Ned just looked at Peter, “Are you serious dude of course she likes you, you're Peter Parker! “

“Okay yeah but I don't know she's different.”

“Different how?”

“She doesn't care for my popularity, looks, or that play football.”

“Yes Peter & that's good,” Lucas informed.

“Okay yeah but then how do I know that she likes me.”

“She just does man. Now let's get to class.”

Although Peter may have seemed to be a confident kind he actually wasn't when it came to you. He didn't think you liked him he thought you were too good for him. When in your situation you thought he'd ever like someone like you.

— 12:30 pm

Michelle was waiting for you to show up at your usual lunch table in the back. She constantly had to wait for you due to your 4th period being across from the school. She never minded though it gave he a few minutes of quite to focus on her book before you came & started a conversation.

“Michelle today I got my English essay back & I got an 100% I'm so happy,” Michelle looked back up at you unimpressed.

“You always get good scores what is there to be happy about?”

“Oh — Peter he got an 87% so I'm really happy so now he can play at the homecoming game.”

“I feel you only talk about him now. It's always Peter this & Peter that. I'm pretty sure you like him. Actually I know you like him,” she confidently said.

You weren't shocked that she had picked up the fact that you liked Peter. You just didn't want it to be brought up you were trying to avoid the fact that you liked him. You were hoping your stupid crush would go away but at this point it developed into something more.

“Okay you caught me I like him,” you looked down avoiding eye contact with her.

“Hey what's wrong I honestly don't care that you talk about him. I think it's cute,” she was to quickly respond avoid hurting your feelings.

“You did nothing wrong it's just I really like him & I never really expected it.”

“Isn't that how it works?”

“Okay yeah but at first it was a stupid crush & I wanted to push it alway. But then I just kept spending time with him & now I'm here stuck.”

“You're not stuck unless he doesn't like you back.”

“That's the thing I know he doesn't like me.”

Michelle just looked at you in disbelief how you had such little faith in yourself. She knew it would be something unheard of at Midtown specifically Peter to be dating someone like you. But the thing was to Michelle it wasn't impossible she saw something between you two.

“You don't know that.” she had smiled at you then went back to her book.

You hadn't bothered responded back you knew Michelle — when she started reading there was no way to have a conversation with her. It gave you time to think about what she said. Could Peter actually like me?

Peter was at the other side of the cafeteria crowded by the rest of his friends. They had been talking about the upcoming game, “Peter can you play at this game?” one of his friends asked.

They had known about his grade in English the coach had purposely told him he needed to pass his most recent essay to play.

“Actually yeah I did I got a 87%”

“What the fuck, that little tutor of yours is helping you big time.”

“Um yeah she helped a lot,” he lightly chuckled.

Ned was one to speak up, “Okay now Peter cut the bullshit how are you gonna ask her out to Homecoming?”

Peter's friends have been dying to know all day how he would ask you out. Peter each time would just avoid the topic or say it wasn't going to happen.

“Look dude I don't know. I don't even think she likes me.”

“You should ask her to wear your jersey to this game,” Lucas suggested.

“What why?”

“Because last game you let Gwen wear it. Plus if you are going to be with Y/n other girls should see that so they could — you know back off.”

“Look Gwen asked me that one time & I didn't want to be rude,” Peter admitted.

“Yes & people thought you were dating now you should ask her to wear yours.”

“Okay fine I'll ask her after school,” Peter finally agreed.

All his friends all smiled at him while Ned high-fives him. They were surprised that Peter was actually going to make some sort of move finally. In that moment you saw his friends smiling & cheering no idea why but you saw Peter. He looked somewhat uncomfortable trying to fit in that moment.

He saw from across the room — he gave you a smile. His smile radiated through the cafeteria you smiled back it him it gave you butterflies through your stomach knowing Peter saw you for that split second. It was probably pointless to you in his mind but to you it left you breathless.

— 3:00 pm

You had quickly left your last period thankful the day was over. You were waiting for Peter in front of the school he had texted you during your 5th to meet up after school. You had wondered what it was about though you were eager to see him again.

“Hey Y/n I wanted to ask you something,”

He had just came out of P.E you remembered him telling you that was his last period. But you could also see the bit of exhaustion over his face presented while speaking to you.

“Hey what did you want to tell me?” you smiled back at him.

“Well first I wanted to say thank you.”

“For what?” you had no idea what he had been thanking you for. You had always been a thoughtful person you often were surprised when people personally thanked you.

“You know for all the help this semester.”

“Oh that's no problem. I love helping you out plus you're a pretty cool guy,” he laughed back at your response. You had always been too sweet of a person & he almost forget he was going to ask you to wear his jersey. That was until he saw all his friends in the corner of his eye giving him huge thumbs ups.

“I was wondering if — um you would want to wear my jersey for the game this Friday. I mean you don't have to if you want to — it's just sort of a thank you.”

You were shocked about this, last game Gwen had worn his jersey. You thought that maybe they had some sort of unspoken thing between them but here he was offering his jersey to you. It flattered you that he had offered because it was usually a couples thing.

“I'd love too,” it took you a second to respond due your shock.

“Great I'll give it to you tomorrow,” he had giving you a affectionate smile before speaking up again.

“I'll text you later,” he waved back at you as he walked towards his friends.

That was when you could wait to get home & text Michelle what had just happened. Tomorrow was the big day but that also meant people were going actually pay attention to you. Seeing that you were going to wear Peter Parker's jersey infront of the whole school.

— 7:55 am

You had been waiting for Peter at the football field for little over 20 minutes waiting for him to get out of the locker room. His morning practice had been extended a little later due to the big game being today. You picked up your bag & started walking down from the bleachers.

While you stayed on the bleachers you could see Peter & a few of his friends walking towards you. Still hoping this whole thing wouldn't be a big deal — you picked up your bag & started walking down from the bleachers.

Suddenly your nerves got to you reason being that this was actually happening. Sure you thought Peter 'doesn't like me' but he was thinking of you. His friends slowly parted from him then it was just you had him. You couldn't see it in his face but he was just nervous as you.

He gave you a smile — the smile that always made your heart flutter, “How was practice?” you didn't want to ask him about the jersey just yet. You may have thought that he forgot or just changed his mind — over thinking the situation.

“It was okay a little bit more than usual. Oh — I have this for you if your still wanted to wear it.”

There it was his jersey plastered with the #10 it was something that held so much value to not just Peter but the school. You grabbed it in your hands shocked at the offer still that it was actually in your hands.

“Thank you. I'll take good care of it,” you exaggerated.

At that moment you felt that everyone was watching — you had removed your backpack & slipped the jersey over your current shirt. The only people that were actually watching were Peter & his friends. They wanted to see if you would actually follow through on wearing the jersey.

“No Problem I'll see you 2nd period.”

“Bye Peter,” you smiled back at him and walked towards your class as the bell rung.

Peter had quickly ran to catch up with Ned heading to his first period. Ned had quickly looked at him waiting for a response of what just happened.

He didn't think of the situation that much he had just given you his jersey. He knew that Ned saw what had happened he didn't know what so say, “You look like you want me to say something.”

“Yes what else Peter, I want to know what happened.”

“All I did was give her my jersey that's all dude you can calm down now.”

“Then when are you gonna ask her out.”

“Shh... I don't want people to know. There's lots of people here I'll tell you my plan later.”

— 8:05 am

You had taken you seat at your 1st period you heard the whispers in the classroom. This is the part where you kind of wish you didn't accept the offer. Only because you couldn't handle the attention — all you heard were people whispers which seemed to be really loud.

She's with Peter no way.

Dude what did she do to get that.

Never expected that one.

Michelle was the one to snap you out of your thoughts, “Hey don't worry about anything their probably all jealous of you,” she winked back at you.

Throughout the day you've gotten used to the stares & whispers you knew the school was going to get over it the next day. That's how Midtown has always been news died down quick so you knew you had nothing to worry about.

During class Michelle gave you a look like she needed to say something important. You didn't ignore her message, “What?”you whispered at her.

“Are you going to the football game tonight?” she asked quietly to avoid getting in trouble.

“Yes, will you go with me?”

“I knew it,” she said proudly.

“Yeah why wouldn't I go?” you said confused.

“No, I knew that you would ask me to go.”

“Hey I don't want to be alone.”

“I'll go. Just so you won't be alone.”

“Thanks you're the best.”

You were beyond relived that Michelle decided to go with you. You didn't really have any other friends besides her so it was your only option to ask her.

Plus she had agreed because she knew Peter had something planned that night.

— 7:00 pm

The night barely begun & you could hear the crowd cheering as the football players field took the field. The bright stadium lights lit up the whole field while the bleachers were filled with sent of popcorn & other snacks. The players were getting ready for kickoff while Michelle was getting snacks.

The game has started you kept your eyes attached on #10 as he ran across the field. There was some paying attention at the game while others were just having a conversation with their friends. Michelle had came back, “What up loser I got food,” she threw a bag of candy at you.

“Thanks, what took you so long.”

“Dude the line was so long like the whole school is here & I Also had to go to the bathroom.”

You guys had been enjoying the game having random conversation while the second quarter was slowly coming to an end. That meant half-time was approaching & you knew the cheerleaders would perform like always.

You saw Peter run across the field as the ball was thrown in his direction, “Come on Peter!” he had quickly caught the ball. The crowd filled with cheers as he ran towards the end zone. He started running faster the crowd roared as he made the made it to the end zone. That put an end to the 2nd quarter & the players ran back to the bench.

The cheerleaders took the field — the speaker blared the loud peppy music. Some students cheered them on as others could care less & continued unfinished conversations. Not until two football players came up holding a unopened poster running up with the cheerleaders — they seemed unbothered by what was happening.

Then you knew someone was going to be asked to Homecoming you just didn't know who. You could tell that one person holding the poster was Ned you couldn't make out the other friend of Peter's though. That was when Peter ran up to the center of the field with a microphone in hand you heard some gasps when he approached.

“I'd like to share something very important with you all,” you heard cheering in the distance.

“I have a friend who means the world to me & I know she's out here today,” you felt eyes on you.

“I'd like her to know she helped me with my grades & helped improve me as a person. Not only that but she's the sweetest person — she always gets me coffee & gives the me her best advice.”

That was when you slowly got up from the bleachers towards the field knowing it was you. He was smiling at you when slowly started walking up to him, “So

Y/n L/n will you go to Homecoming with me?” the poster opened as he said those words.

You met eyes with him standing right in front of him his beautiful brown eyes filled with innocence & hopefulness. You smiled and breathed out, “Yes.”

In that moment Peter pulled you into a soft yet passionate kiss. The crown erupted with cheers the sound echoed through the back of your head. Everything seemed muted in the moment of the kiss — when it was over you looked him, “I didn't really expect that.”

“You weren't supposed too.” He just gave you his charming smile & pulled you into a hug.You turned your head slightly seeing the crowd with smiles & their phones out capturing the whole moment.

“Thank you.”Peter whispered in your ear.

“For what?” you asked cluelessly.

“Everything,” he breathed out.